[Glede Kabongo]

Gledé’s Thriller Plot

What I learned during the assignment was the importance of structure and hitting the right beats at the right time to maximize the impact of the story, and most importantly, deliver thrills.

OPENING: SUV chasing a woman in a Mercedes!

Life threatening 1: Will he run her off the road and cause a crash?

Mystery 1: Who’s chasing the woman and why?

Mystery 2: Alessandro Rossi tells Shelby he’s being followed.

Mystery 3: The police pull over Shelby for a broken taillight that wasn’t there earlier in the day

Inciting Incident: Dead body discovered in Shelby’s car. The police arrest her.

Mystery 4: She doesn’t know how the body got in her car or who put it there.

Villain’s Plan 1: Contact the local news media and alert them to Shelby’s arrest for Alessandro Rossi’s murder before the information is made public.

Mystery 5: Why does Shelby refuse bail when it’s offered?

Mystery 6: How can Shelby prove she’s innocent while she’s been keeping secrets that make her look guilty?

Life threatening 2: Shelby receives a death threat [her children] while in prison.

Life threatening 3: News of her suspected involvement in the murder goes public. Jason’s ascension to the role of CEO is now in doubt.

Life threatening 4: Shelby’s fingerprints are all over the recently fired murder weapon; the only ones found.

Villain’s plan 2: Send Shelby’s husband to Louisiana on a wild goose to find Mia Lansing, who could provide evidence that could help identify the killer.

Mystery 7: Why did Alessandro Rossi visit Shelby’s workplace and sign the visitor’s log under a fake name?

Life threatening 5: The villain is operating covertly, privy to every move made to free Shelby and makes moves of her own to thwart those plans.

TURNING POINT 1: Jason learns that Mia Lansing is dead.

Villain’s Plan 3: Kill her psychiatrist to prevent him from going to the police with his suspicions about her.

MIDPOINT: The police and prosecutors believe they have a motive for the killing (to prevent Alessandro from revealing the affair to Shelby’s husband).

TURNING POINT 2: When it’s discovered that Mehmet Koczak returned to the U.S. over two years ago, all evidence points to him as the stalker and killer.

CLIMAX: A listening device, and prescription for Mia Lansing are discovered in the Cooper residence. Jason suspects Vivian and he and his investigator follow her and discover her secret apartment/command central.

RESOLUTION: Shelby confronts Vivian who lays out how she set up Shelby by setting a trap for Alessandro Rossi and killing him. Rather than face prison (the police were listening), she commits suicide.

[Glede Kabongo]

Glede’s Life-Threatening Sequence

What I learned doing this assignment was that brainstorming these sequences can help eliminate weak spots, plot points that may not be as compelling, which allows the focus to be on the ones that are thrilling.

1. A mysterious stranger tries to run Shelby off the road in a car chase.

2. A threatening note is left trapped beneath the windshield wiper of Shelby’s car.

3. A GPs tracker is placed on Shelby’s car.

4. Shelby is pulled over by state police. Several cruisers pull up, officers jump out of the cars with guns drawn, pointed directly at her.

5. Shelby receives a photo of her daughter Abbie taken inside her school building, at close range, and Abbie’s class schedule hand-written on the back.

6. The stalker mentions Shelby’s kids by name.

7. Shelby is forced to refuse bail after she’s arrested, or her kids will pay the price.

8. The villain is operating covertly. She’s close to Shelby and her family knows the inner workings of their lives.

9. Knowing that news of Shelby’s affair with the murdered Alessandro Rossi is about to hit the media, Jason resigns his post as chief financial officer of Orphion Technologies.

10. Jason also resigns fearing for his reputation, the secret of how he got the seed money to start his own company would come to light.

[Glede Kabongo]

Gledé’s Mystery Sequence

Mystery 1: Who framed Shelby for murder?

* A mysterious stranger stalks Shelby and threatens the lives of her children if she tells anyone about him.

* Why does the stranger know so many details about Shelby’s life?

* The stalker communicates with Shelby’s teenage daughter, Abbie.

* Shelby has been keeping secrets from her family about her past. Her stalker could be someone who has a problem with her.

* Shelby makes a strange move. Though bail is granted at her hearing, she tells her husband Jason not to pay. Why is she willing to go to jail? Does she know who’s behind the frame and why?

* The stalker sends a note to Shelby in Jail, telling her to cooperate or else… The note includes a hand drawn image of two coffins with Shelby’s children’s name on each.

* Shelby and her supporters deduce the stalker must be the culprit but who is he and why did he target Shelby?

Mystery 2: What is Shelby hiding?

* Her affair with Alessandro Rossi, the murder victim.

* Her family didn’t die in a fire when she was a teenager, as she told her husband and children.

* She provided funds and resources to help Alessandro Rossi leave the country with his daughters to escape their abusive mother, but he was killed before he could leave.

* That she was being stalked and harassed before she went to jail

Mystery 3: Who is Mia Lansing?

* Jason and his investigator fly to Kenner, LA to find out more about Mia Lansing, Shelby’s childhood friend. A woman named Betty tells them Mia was her daughter and she’s dead.

* Believing it’s Mia Lansing on the other end of the line, Koczak says he needs to speak to her urgently and they should meet. Jason shows up at the appointed time and learns that Mia Lansing is a green-eyed blonde who enlisted Koczak’s help to frame Shelby.

* Jason is baffled, because Betty Lansing from Kenner, LA is a black woman and said her daughter Mia was dead.

* Shelby’s lawyer visits her in jail with the good news; Koczak confirmed that a woman named Mia Lansing was behind the frame. Shelby knows this can’t be true because she is Mia Lansing.

Mystery 4: Does Vivian know who framed Shelby for murder?

* When the police visit Koczak to take his statement about Mia being the mastermind behind framing Shelby, they find his dead body.

* Jason discovers a listening device inside one of the crystal swans he gave Shelby as an anniversary present.

* Shelby’s daughter, Abbie, finds prescription pills written out to Mia Lansing in the guest bedroom of the family home.

* Jason’s PI follows Vivian one day when she goes shopping; she ends up at a secret apartment instead.

* The PI stakes out the apartment; a blonde woman walks past him and smirks in his direction.

* Shelby confesses to Jason that she is Mia Lansing. Jason is puzzled by the fact that Vivian sent him on a wild goose chase to LA in search of Mia Lansing. She had to have known that Shelby was the real Mia Lansing.

* A mysterious man shows up at the Cooper residence, claiming to be Mia Lansing’s brother, Michael.

RED HERRING – Mehmet Koczak

1. Koczak wants revenge against Shelby because she ratted him out for corporate espionage when they were both scientists at the same biotech company.

2. He lost everything; his career, reputation and family and now sees an opportunity for a comeback/get even.

3. He warns Abbie, Shelby’s teenage daughter in an anonymous note that something bad is about to happen; he implies that Shelby is a deceiver and must pay for her sins.

4. Warns Abbie that if she reveals their communication, he’ll come after the rest of the family.

5. Shelby receives a Christmas card in prison. Emma Chan, her post-doctoral fellow is one of the signers. It jogs Shelby’s memory that Emma mentioned running into Koczak who asked questions about Shelby.

6. Koczak now becomes the prime suspect.

7. He calls the villain, but Jason picks up instead. Jason extracts details from him about his involvement in framing Shelby and the real mastermind, Mia Lansing.

8. Koczal wasn’t the killer. The real killer killed him.

[Glede Kabongo]

Glede’s villain has a great plan

What I learned is:

A new, exciting way to plot my thriller. I usually know the beginning and the end of the story but I tend to be a linear writer. Reverse engineering is a game changer for me.

VILLAIN’S PLAN

Mia Lansing – Get revenge on Shelby for “stealing” Jason and the life that should have been hers.

1. End goal: Destroy Shelby and marry Jason.

2. How can the Villain accomplish that in a devious way- By straddling dual identities. With the use of prosthetics, the villain disguise herself as a blonde, white woman named Mia Lansing, when in fact she is Shelby’s best friend Vivian March who is black. Gather information on the investigation in her role as a trusted member of the Cooper family (Shelby’s best friend, Vivian). Drop “helpful” clues that gives the family hope. Secretly leak manufactured evidence to the police pointing to Shelby’s guilt.

3. How can they cover it up? – Through use of her dual identities. Enlisting the help of Shelby’s former colleague, Mehmet Koczak, to front the revenge scheme. Seeing a prominent psychiatrist to treat her mental disorder (as Mia Lansing) so if she’s ever caught, she can mount an insanity defense. Rent a secret apartment as her command central where she can plot and scheme and keep tabs on the investigation.

MIA/VIVIAN’S PLAN- sequenced in 8 steps

1. Kill Shelby’s ex-lover, Alessandro Rossi, and place the body in Shelby’s car to frame her.

2. Appear to be as shocked and devastated as the rest of the family when Shelby is arrested. Make herself available for moral support, and visit Shelby in jail.

3. Feign surprise when Jason confides in her that Shelby confessed the affair with Alessandro Rossi.

4. Implore Jason to fight for his marriage; convince him not to give up on Shelby in spite of her affair.

5. When a break in the case points to her henchman, Mehmet Koczak, as the killer, claims Koczak threatened to kill Jason and the kids if she didn’t cooperate with his revenge scheme against Shelby.

6. Kill anyone who gets in her way including her psychiatrist and Koczak.

7. Leak altered audio and video to the police that cements Shelby’s guilt and propels the case to a criminal trial where the chances of an acquittal are slim to none.

8. Begins planning her wedding to Jason because she believes Shelby is finished and Jason is hers, at last.

[Glede Kabongo]

“Fool Me Twice”

World and Characters

What I learned doing this assignment:

It’s not enough to know the big picture M.I.S. of the story. The same care must be taken with the main characters.

The world in which the story takes place is just as important as the story itself and it shouldn’t be an afterthought.

CONCEPT:

Big Mystery: Who is framing Shelby for murder and why?

Big Intrigue: Shelby has been keeping secrets from her family. Does it have anything to do with why she’s being framed?

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Big Suspense: Will the real killer be exposed before it’s too late?

WORLD: The affluent suburban world of a successful scientist and her seemingly perfect family, that’s riddled with deception, secrecy, and betrayals.

TOP 3 CHARACTERS

HERO: Shelby Cooper

What is the mystery of this character? – Is her past connected to the reason she’s being framed for murder? <div>

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What is the suspense of this character? – Can she expose the real killer before she’s wrongly convicted?

What is the intrigue of this character? She’s a loving wife and mother, and a brilliant scientist but there’s deception in her; lies she’s told, secrets she’s been keeping.

VILLAIN: Mia Lansing

What is the mystery of this character? – Why does she hate Shelby Cooper so much, enough to frame her for murder? </div><div>

What is the suspense of this character? – She’s always one step ahead of investigators. Will she succeed in destroying Shelby and her family?

What is the intrigue of this character? Mia Lansing isn’t her real name. She assumes an alternate identity in order to carry out her murderous vendetta and evade authorities.

COOL SUPPORTING CHARACTER: Jason Cooper (Shelby’s husband)

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What is the mystery of this character? – Can he keep the family from falling apart and will he succeed in finding evidence that exonerates his wife?

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What is the suspense of this character? – Jason is CFO of a multi-billion dollar tech company and on track to become its next CEO. He’s currently in charge of taking the company public. Can he help prove Shelby’s innocence before her murder charge ruins the IPO of a lifetime?

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What is the intrigue of this character? Jason has enemies within his company who want to take him down. Can he stop his own secrets from being exposed before he’s forced to leave the company in disgrace?

</div>

[Glede Kabongo]

Glede Kabongo

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Glede Kabongo]

Glede Kabongo

I agree to the terms of this release form.

[Glede Kabongo]

Subject Line: (Gledé Kabongo) Big M.I.S.

What I learned during this assignment.

It forced me to take a closer look at the M.I.S. moments of my thriller.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>LOGLINE:

A married Boston scientist is framed for the murder of her physical therapist with whom she had an affair.

Unwitting but resourceful hero:

Dr. Shelby Cooper is framed for the murder of her physical therapist and sent to jail until trial, and while trying to protect her family and prove her innocence, she discovers the real killer had been hiding in plain sight.

Dangerous villain

Mia Lansing, a bipolar psychopath who wants Shelby’s life completely and irrevocably ruined. She leaks incriminating evidence against Shelby to the police, and enlists Shelby’s disgraced former colleague to stalk Shelby’s teenage daughter.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>High stakes

Shelby’s freedom, her family’s safety, her career and reputation.

Life and death situations:

A mysterious SUV tries to run Shelby off the road, the threat to Shelby’s kids’ lives, death of the Mia Lansing’s accomplice (he could have helped prove Shelby’s innocence), Jason Cooper’s confrontation with the accomplice in an abandoned parking lot, late at night, and finally ending with Lansing’s death (a huge plunge down a long flight of stairs at Shelby’s home).

This story is thrilling because throughout, we’re worried that Shelby will spend the rest of her life in prison if exonerating evidence doesn’t surface in time. Every time progress is made, more evidence surfaces, pointing to Shelby’s guilt.

Tell us the Big M.I.S. of your story?

Big Mystery: Who is Mia Lansing and why did she frame Shelby for murder?

Big Intrigue: Why is Mia Lansing always one step ahead of investigators? Promising clues end up as dead ends.

Big Suspense: Will the real killer be exposed before it’s too late?

[Glede Kabongo]

Subject Line: Unknown (2011) Thriller Conventions

What I’ve learned doing this assignment is how to spot the the layers outlined in the thriller conventions more easily.

Unwitting but resourceful hero:

Scientist Martin Harris arrives in Berlin for a Biotechnology Summit accompanied by his wife. After a near fatal car accident that placed him in a coma, Martin sets out to reclaim his life, but no one knows who he is, including his wife, and another man claims to be him. Over time, he learns that he’s part of an elite group of assassins sent to the summit to eliminate an Arab Prince, but his colleagues have turned against him and he must bring the fight to them to survive.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Dangerous villain:

Rodney Cole, head of the group of assassins who were sent to Berlin to kill the prince. Cole wants Martin dead because Martin starts to believe his own cover story, that he’s a scientist attending the summit in Berlin, ready to share his research with other colleagues in attendance. Cole has activated several assassins in the group to eliminate Harris whom he believes is dangerous to the operation.

High Stakes:

Harris’s life, his wife’s life, his career and reputation, his very identity.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Life and death situations

The taxi Martin is traveling in crashes into the river, almost killing him; a mysterious man tries to kill him while he’s in the hospital recovering from his injuries. The assassins Cole sent after him follow him to the apartment of a waitress who’s helping him unravel the mystery, and tries to Kill Martin, but winds up killing her friend; death of the nurse who treated him in the hospital; death of former East German spy helping Martin.

The movie is thrilling because we’re afraid the assassins will succeed in killing Martin before we have a chance to discover who he really is, and why the villain wants him dead.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Big Mystery: Who is Martin Harris?

Big Intrigue – The group of assassins determined to kill Harris and their elimination of anyone who tries to help him.

Big Suspense – Will Martin uncover the real reason assassins are trying to kill him?

[Glede Kabongo]

Hi Cheryl,

I did not receive the assignment for day 2 and I can’t find day 1 assignment to post my results.