
Tristan Griffin
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Tristan Griffin’s Great Hook
A. How did this process work for you?
– Incredibly helpful. A useful way to continue the ideas drafted in the pre-lesson work, making me focus only on the core elements of my story ideas.
B. What did you learn doing this assignment?
– I learned that the High Concept Question is a great method to generate ideas that have never been seen on screen before.
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Tristan’s Guidelines for CAPTAIN PHILLIPS (2013)
What I learned from this assignment is this must be what it feels like to be a producer. Having to adhere to the COVID guidelines made me realize that this must be what producers do when they have to adhere to a film’s budget.
PART 1:
– My story idea is very contained as it’s set in one location.
– It can be pitched into one to two sentences as long as I find the right story for my main character.
– There is something unique about this story.
PART 2:
TITLE: Captain Phillips
AS THEY DID IT:
A. People: Captain Phillips, First Officer, Four pirates including Captain, USS Commander, Another Commander, Translator, 2 Medics
B. Stunts: Pirates go after the cargo ship twice, Emergency boat falls off ship into water, Capt. Phillips escapes emergency boat by jumping in the water, Final shootout between US Navy and pirates.
C. Extras: Villagers, Navy Seals, Ship Crew Members
D. Wardrobe: Regular clothes, tanktops, Proper Naval Attire
E. Hair and Make Up: Not heavily detailed.
F. Kids and Animals: None
G. Quarantine: Too difficult.
COVID GUIDELINE VERSION:
A. People: Captain Phillips, First Officer, Two crewmen, Four pirates including Muse, maybe 2 Medics. (Naval roles could be VO and visuals based on the equipment in the cargo ship)
B. Stunts: None. Since this is already a thriller, the action set pieces could be told through strong visuals. IE The two pirate boats approaching Captain Phillips’s boat on a radar.
C. Extras: This would have to involve cutting setup scenes that introduce the protagonist and antagonist. Captain Phillips is driving to the airport talking with his wife. And Muse is in a village recruiting pirates to hijack a cargo ship.
D. Wardrobe: Cast could bring their own.
E. Hair and Make Up: As is.
F. Kids and Animals: None
G. Quarantine: Just the main cast. Everyone else shooting that day could test negative the day before.
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Hello, I’m Tristan Griffin! I’ve written one feature and a TV pilot, and I’m hoping this class helps me focus more on writing scripts with minimal locations and characters.
Something about me: I perform sketch comedy in New York City.
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Tristan Griffin
I agree to the terms of this release form.
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Tristan Griffin’s Action Comedy Writing Sample Plan
What I learned doing this assignment is the purpose of the writing sample is to show them you can accomplish their goal which is writing a great script that’s producible.
SETUP:
This is the opening to Token, which is an action comedy script.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by
Tristan Griffin.
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Tristan Griffin’s Key Business Decisions
What I learned doing this assignment is many elements of screenwriting (character arc, opening/ending sequences) play a huge part in the business decision making process of screenwriting. Also knowing who your audience is plays an important part too.
GENRE: Action Comedy
TITLE: Token
CONCEPT: In this action comedy set in the year 1975, a Black CIA agent returns back to America to find his former handler, who not only abandoned him during a mission in Helenski, but is also a mole selling secrets to the Russians. From Savannah, Georgia to McClean, Virginia to Washint, Token stumbles into a web of intrigue that involves CIA assassins, a powerful crime family, a fiery Black Panther, and a secret spy group who wants to take down the US government.
AUDIENCE: Males and Females above 25
BUDGET: $15 – $40 million
LEAD CHARACTERS:
Token: Early-Mid 30s. Black. A field agent for the CIA. Skilled in gathering intelligence and hand to hand combat. Charming, witty, quick on his feet. Can come off as socially awkward and will get testy if he doesn’t get his hotel amenities. Token’s goal is to find his former handler who abandoned him in Helenski and turn him in for selling US secrets to the Russians.
Dan Dawson: Mid-Late 40s. White. Token’s handler who left him during a mission in Helenski. Charming, witty and does things his own way, not matter how murderous they are. When Token returns with evidence that he’s selling secrets to the Russians, Dan’s goal is to hide his cover by finding Token and killing him.
Ruby Sinclaire: Early 20s. Black. She’s an fiery activist working with the UPS: the Underground Panther Society. Loud, militant, wants to take down “The Man.” She runs in to Token when he foils a robbery she was part of. She ends up helping Token find Dan, butting heads with Token along the way.
JOURNEY/CHARACTER ARC:
Token begins the story stranded on a deserted beach. After being rescued, we learn Token was stranded in Helenski by his handler, Dan Dawson. Token also has evidence that Dan is selling secrets to the Russians. On his journey, Token runs in to Ruby who ridicules him for working for the CIA. She thinks he’s the “Company Token” while he knows he was hired because he’s an bad “you know what” agent and “worth a lot to the agency….just like a token.” From Savannah to DC, Token uncovers a conspiracy within the agency. This makes Token doubt himself and question his role at the agency. But when Dan kidnaps Ruby, Token is forced to become that bad “you know what” agent, using his amazing skills to rescue Ruby and bring Dan down.
OPENING:
We open on an action scene where four masked men break into warehouse office on the docks. While breaking into a safe, an alarm goes off. One of the Masked Men, shoots the other three and escapes. That masked man is Dan. Next day, Dan testifies before the Rockefeller Commission, accuses those three masked men, who were also agents, of stealing US secrets. Dan meets with another mastermind in this conspiracy named “The Colonel.” Dan assures “The Colonel” that no one is going to stop them.
We cut to Token who’s stranded on a deserted beach.
ENDING:
After taking down Dan, Token testifies before the Rockefeller Commission and tells them everything about Dan. The day is saved, and Token heads off in a limo. But inside is “The Colonel”, who hands Token his next mission.
The Decisions I want to improve on is the audience and Journey/Character Arc
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by
Tristan Griffin.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by
Tristan Griffin.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by
Tristan Griffin.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by
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MOVIE #2:
GENRE: Action Comedy
TITLE: Hot Fuzz (2007)
GENRE CONVENTIONS: This movie flawlessly executed the action comedy genre. It’s a fish-out-of water story (A big city cop is transferred to a small town with no crime) that’s heightened through suspense, action set pieces and great character dynamics. Each scene balanced the story and comedy masterfully well. Serious scenes kept you hook, then comedic moment would relieve you with laughter.
OUTLINE:
Fast paced opening montage of Metropolitan police officer Nicholas Angel. He’s really good at his job and promoted Sergeant by his superiors. However his superiors reassign him to the small rural town of Sandford, a nice town named Village of the Year.
Important and funny scene when Angel calls his girlfriend who’s a forensics expert at a crime scene. She breaks up with him because he works too much and he needs friends/a life.
In Sandford, Angel has a hard time adjusting. His new colleagues are lazy and incompetent, the police chief is happy there’s low crime, and the townspeople are friendly but mundane.
At a bar, Angel spots underage kids drinking. He also arrests a local drunk and takes them to the police station. Next morning, Angel checks on the local drunk only to find out it’s PC Danny Butterman who’s dad is the chief, Inspector Butterman.
Angel partners with Danny. We learn that Danny loves action movies. They spot a shoplifter and give chase.
Next day, Angel and Danny pull over two actors who are part of a production of Romeo & Juliet. Angel and Danny go to the play and it’s not good.
Later that night, the two actors are killed by a hooded figure. Their heads are found on the road to make it look like a car accident. Angel suspects foul play, but the other officers don’t believe him.
Next day, Angel and Danny question a farmer and soon discover he’s hoarding illegal weapons and an old sea mine.
After the bust, Angel and Danny go for drinks. Danny questions Angel on why he works so much. Danny invites Angel to his place and they watch action movies.
That night, a local land developer is killed by the hooded figure and his house explodes in a deliberate gas explosion. Angel suspects foul play, but none of the other colleagues believe him.
At a local fair, a local journalist has information about the land developer. But the hooded figure kills the journalist by pushing a masonry from a church tower.
During Danny’s birthday party at the station, Angel goes and buys him birthday flowers. The florist has information about the recent murders but she’s killed by the hooded figure. Angel gives chase but the hooded figure escapes.
Angel suspects supermarket manager, Simon Skinner is the killer. Angel with his colleagues arrive at the market and Angel accuses Skinner as the property deal would have built a rival supermarket, but Skinner has an alibi. Angel believes there are multiple killers after hearing Danny talk to a local resident.
At his hotel room, Angel is attacked by one of Skinner’s employees. Angel knocks him out, grabs his walkie talkie and learns of a secret meeting at Sandford Castle.
Angel walks into a meeting with a bunch of hooded figures. All the residents of Sandford are the killers. Angel confronts them, and learns Frank runs so that Sandford could win Village of the Year again. So they staged as accidents, for various petty reasons as each victim threatened their chances. Frank’s motive is his late wife Irene put everything into helping Sandford win the first time, but travelers ruined their chances the night before the judges arrived, driving her to suicide.
Angel flees and falls into the castle’s catacombs, where he finds the corpses of other victims. Danny appears and fakes killing Angel. Pretending to dispose of the body, Danny drives Angel away and urges him to return to London for his own safety. At a petrol station, Angel sees a rack of the films he and Danny bonded over and decides to return to Sandford.
Angel arms himself with the confiscated guns from the farmhouse, then he and Danny engage in a shootout with the residents. Climatic shootout with each resident getting story and funny yet gruesome resolutions. When Danny blows off the doctor’s foot with a shotgun, Danny goes, Ala Bad Boys 2 rotating shot: “You’re a doctor. Deal with it.”
When Frank orders the other officers to arrest them, Angel and Danny convince them that Frank is the culprit. Frank flees and the officers besiege the supermarket in another showdown with each character getting time.
Skinner flees in a car with Frank. Angel corners Skinner at Sandford’s model village, and after a brief fight Skinner is impaled through the jaw by a miniature church steeple. Frank attempts to escape in Angel’s car but is attacked by a missing swan that Angel and Danny had recaptured earlier.
Angel’s former superiors arrive and ask him to return to London, as the crime rate has risen heavily in his absence, but Angel decides to remain in Sandford. While the Sandford Police are going over the paperwork of the arrests, the elderly Tom Weaver, the police security man, bursts into the station and shoots at Angel, but Danny jumps in front. In the resulting struggle, Weaver accidentally activates the sea mine, killing himself and destroying the station.
One year later, Angel has been promoted to Inspector and head of the Sandford police, and Danny is Sergeant.
In the final moment, Danny and Angel visit Danny’s mother Irene’s grave. The movie ends with the two driving off to their next crime scene.
GAGS/JOKES
This movie was loaded with so many gags. Most jokes were visual, while some were dialogue based. Occasionally there would be a combo of the two.
OVERALL:
This movie delivered on the genre. Balanced masterfully well. Lots of funny moments that were dialogue driven, visual, dark, and low-brow.
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What I learned doing this assignment is that you’ll get more leverage if you focus on just one genre. Being a Jack of all trades is good, but a comedy writer won’t get asked to write a horror script.
MY SPECIALTY: Action Comedy. This genre combines aspects of action and comedy. Incorporating humorous actions within the action and using the exciting events in the story for laughs.
MOVIE #1:
Genre: Action Comedy
Title: Spy (2015)
Genre Conventions: This movie balanced the action set pieces with humorous actions, added jokes to the spy storyline, and gave the characters funny traits/personas, placing them in ridiculous yet comical situations.
OUTLINE:
The movie opens with CIA Agent Bradley Fine on a mission to locate arms dealer, Tihomir Boyanov and learn the location of a suitcase nuke from him. But due to allergies, Fine sneezes and his gun goes off. Killing Boyanov.
We are then introduced to the main protagonist, Susan Cooper: the desk bound assistant who remotely guides Fine out of Boyanov’s estate.
During a celebration dinner, Bradley gives Susan a gift. She thinks it’s a ring. She opens it. It’s a necklace with a cupcake on it. Susan accepts; she’s happy to do anything for him. So Bradley asks her to fire his gardener.
Next scene: Susan fires the gardener.
The story picks up when Susan uncovers evidence that Boyanov’s daughter, Rayna Boyanov has contacted terrorist middle man Sergio De Luca about the suitcase. Fine infiltrates Rayna’s home. Rayna shoots Fine dead, while Susan watches helplessly online. Rayna then reveals she knows the identities of the agency’s top agents.
Head boss, Elaine Crocker, has a meeting with those top agents. Among them, Rick Ford. A cocky agent who brags about all his close calls with death yet believes the CIA has a Face-Off machine like the movie Face-Off. Susan, once a top trainee agent but now unknown, volunteers to track her. Crocker reluctantly agrees. Ford quits in disgust.
Susan heads to Paris as a field agent. Her guide is her best friend, Nancy. Susan passes by all the luxurious hotels, hoping she’s staying in one. She ends up in a sketchy hotel in a very sketchy part of town.
In her room, Ford, who warns Susan that she’ll fail because of her inexperience. Susan finds out De Luca’s office burned down and finds a photo of a man standing outside of the fire.
At a restaurant, Ford pops up again, telling Susan she will fail. Then Susan sees the man from the photo switch Ford’s backpack. Susan warns Ford in time during a concert. Ford finds a BOMB in the backpack and he throws it in the river. BOOOM!
Susan pursues the man, accidentally killing him during a fight. Seeing the death makes Susan vomit. (RUNNING GAG #1) Susan finds proof, on his body, that De Luca is going to Rome.
In Rome, Susan meets her contact Aldo, a suave yet pervy Italian agent. He drives her to her hotel, manically through the streets of Rome.
Susan spots De Luca and follows him into a casino. There she spots Rayna. Then she spots an assassin put poison in Rayna’s drink. Susan stops Rayna from drinking it and points out the assassin. After watching Rayna and her henchmen kill the assassin, Susan vomits and Rayna invites Susan into her inner circle.
On a private jet to Budapest, the steward kills Rayna’s crew, but Susan subdues him. Rayna then suspects Susan to be a CIA agent. Thinking quickly, Susan convinces Rayna that she was hired by her father to protect her.
In Budapest, Susan introduces Rayna to her assistant, Nancy who joins Susan in Budapest, using the code name “Susan Cooper”. Then an assassin drives by and shoots at them. Susan pursues the assailants on a tiny motorbike. After catching up with them, the would-be assassin turns out to be CIA Karen Walker, who sold Rayna the names of the agents. As Karen tries to shoot Susan, unseen sniper kills her.
Susan, Nancy and Aldo accompany Rayna to a club to meet Rayna’s contact, Lia. Nancy creates a diversion by jumping on stage where 50 Cent is guest performing. As Susan attempts to apprehend Lia, Ford appears and messes up the mission. Lia escapes. Susan catches her and, during a brutal fight, is saved from death by Fine, who faked his murder. It also turns out that he’s Rayna’s associate and lover.
Rayna imprisons Susan and Aldo, but Fine visits them, revealing he was the one who killed Karen and he faked his death so he could gain Rayna’s trust to locate the nuke.
So Susan and Aldo escape, and she follows Fine and Rayna to De Luca’s mansion. In a big character moment, Susan confronts De Luca, Rayna, Fine and several henchmen revealing that she loves Fine and will do anything for him, even though the CIA has mistreated her. No one in the room feels sorry for her, except Fine.
De Luca proceed with his deal to sell the nuke to a terrorist named Solsa Dudaev. Dudaev gives De Luca a suitcase full of diamonds, and Rayna produces the device. Then De Luca has Dudaev and his men killed, revealing his plan to resell the device to another buyer, then prepares to shoot Rayna. Ford appears again only to get his coat caught in the door. This distraction allows Susan to take out De Luca’s men.
Susan gives chase to De Luca who escapes by helicopter with the device and the diamonds. Susan grabs onto the landing gear and hangs on as the helicopter flies away. Once at the helicopter door, Susan throws the diamonds and the device into the lake below. De Luca attempts to shoot Susan, but Nancy appears n 50 Cent’s helicopter flown by Aldo and shoots De Luca who falls out of the helicopter to his death.
The nuke is retrieved. Rayna is arrested, but makes peace with Susan. Ford finally compliments her skills then gets in a boat to Italy, not knowing he’s in a lake. Crocker tells Susan she will remain a field agent, and that her next assignment is in Prague. Fine invites Susan to dinner, but she opts for a night out with Nancy.
The next morning, Susan wakes up in bed next to Ford. She screams; Ford claims she “loved it”.
OTHER FUNNY GAGS:
– Susan’s covers were mid 40s cat lovers.
– Ford always appearing in the field wearing silly disguises.
Overall, this movie not only balanced comedy and action well, it also played the spy genre well and had great moments of drama coming from it’s star, Melissa McCarthy. She was funny, handled the stunts/ fights scenes, and most importantly, she gave a grounded performance that made you feel for Susan when she was low, but root/and laugh at her when she was in danger.
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What I learned doing this assignment is that I already have really good connections right now. I just need to focus on my writing samples to back up my credibility. As said in the lesson, producers only want to hire writers with credibility.
STEPS TO INCREASE MY CREDIBILITY:
– Work on the first ten pages of my script, Token, as a sample. Those pages are very strong: setting up the protagonist vs. antagonist, tone, genre (action comedy) and building the world.
– Polish my script, Token. Needs some story/structure work.
– Submit to three screenwriting competitions:
1) The Blacklist 2023 Georgia List: for screenwriters with a strong connection to Georgia
2) Screencraft’s Comedy and Feature Competition. (DEADLINE MARCH 31st)
CREDIBILITY CHECKLIST:
Writing Sample – My script Token. First ten pages of it.
Network of Producers – my former writer mentor is now the VP of production and development of a major production company. We still stay in touch and wants to read Token when it’s complete.
Education – Master Screenwriter Certificate Program at ScreenwritingU. BFA Minor in Screenwriting at the Savannah College of Art and Design
Borrowed Credibility – I have a manager and GERSH is my agent for acting. They have a writing department, and looking forward to meeting them once my writing sample is complete.
IMDB – Mostly acting credits. My only writing credit is a short film I wrote back in 2010.
Other – I have a comedy/comedy writing resume that features my sketch writing experience and involvement with the WGTL TV Mentorship Program based through Whoopi Goldberg’s company.
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My biggest takeaway from the opening video was that “80% of producers are accessible.” When I normally think of screenwriting or selling a script, I think of big time producers/studios. Knowing it’s difficult to get their attention, especially if you’re new to this like I am, it was reassuring to hear that small and indie producers are accessible and easy to get to.
My TWO PROJECTS:
1. TOKEN: A Black spy has to prove he’s a spy by hunting down the traitors who abandoned him on a mission in Helenski in this action comedy set in America, 1975: The Year of Intelligence.
Finished script. Genre: Action Comedy. Budget: $5 – $15 million
2. WHERE IN THE WORLD IS CARMEN SANDIEGO: This is an idea/concept I have for a live action movie about the titular character, heavily inspired by the computer games and popular 90s game show which I loved as a kid. The story focuses on the incredible thefts Carmen and her team of silly named cohorts were able to pull off and the agents of the ACME Detective Agency obsessed with capturing her. Think Catch Me If You Can meets Mission Impossible: 4-6 series.
GENRE: Action Adventure. Budget: $50 – $100 million
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This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by
Tristan Griffin.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by
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Hello, my name is Tristan Lee Griffin. I’m a writer and actor based in New York City, originally from Rome, Georgia. I’ve written one screenplay and one pilot. Both specs and both comedies which is my background. For four years, I was a sketch performer at the Upright Citizens Brigade theater and in 2019, I performed at the Just For Laughs Festival in Montreal, Canada after being selected that year as a JFL New Face (Characters).
So my experience with paid writing assignments came in 2014. After a Craigslist job search, I was hired by a producer to help rewrite their screenplay. Long story short, I was quickly fired after my first attempt of rewriting the draft because I had no idea what I was doing. I didn’t know how to take the producer’s notes and I just didn’t have the skillset to accomplish what they wanted. But thanks to time, patience, and more knowledge of the business, I definitely feel ready to jump back in and learn the correct skills and techniques that I didn’t know then.
I’m excited about this class and look forward to working with everyone!
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Tristan Lee Griffin
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