Guil Parreiras
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ASSIGNMENT
Guil’s Marketing Campaign
What I learned doing this assignment is that by starting with one campaign strategy, it feels less overwhelming. Writing a great script is hard enough, then having to figure out how to best market the script is another difficult task. By choosing one strategy, it helps to narrow down our best possibility for success.
1. Read through the 10 Marketing Campaigns and select ONE that you’ll take action on immediately.
MARKETING CAMPAIGN #6: Marketing to Producers
2. Taking that campaign, make a plan of action, listing the actions you’ll take.
1) I’ll refine the query letter until it is ready to go out.
2) I plan to get another opinion on the script to make sure that the writing is as solid as it can be whether it’s through coverage, classmates or through other connections.
3) By going through the IMDb exercise again, I will come up with a list of ten producers to start with (not as overwhelming), small producers who work with low budget movies and produce the genre I’m working in.
3. Tell us the first action you are going to take… and take it.
To rework my QT and Phone Pitch until I nail them.
Btw, if anyone wants to keep in touch so we can help each other out with our work, please let me know 🙂
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Guil’s Query Letter
Draft TWO:
Title: The Filmmaker’s Revenge or The Dreammaker’s Revenge (TBD)
Written by: Guil Parreiras
Genre: Crime / Drama
Logline: A jaded screenwriter with a mean streak, a desperate director, a shark producer with a past, and a gullible porn actor are woven into a tale of kidnapping, betrayal and murder.
A movie-obsessed screenwriter, Harold, and his director, Travis, invested all their savings on an indie feature which led to no distribution deal. Broke and desperate, Travis directs a porn flick while Harold’s only hope is a screenwriting assignment, but Valenti, the hiring producer, turns him down. In a fit of rage, Harold abducts Valenti… for revenge!
Such reckless action sets Harold and Travis against each other. Should they let Valenti go? What if he calls the cops? An altercation between the filmmakers leads to Travis’s accidental death and it becomes a point of no return which may implicate both Harold and Valenti.
The unlikely duo are now forced to work together to elude a cunning detective — it’s a self-serving engagement for the sake of survival! As the detective closes in on them, Harold and Valenti turn on each other. The question remains: who will outwit who and who will evade the law?
This is a contained screenplay with five actors, two interior locations, and some exterior pick-ups. Can be very inexpensive to make!
If you like the concept, I’d be happy to send you the script. Thank you.
Bio:
Contact Info:
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ASSIGNMENT
Guil’s Query Letter Draft ONE
What I learned doing this assignment is that… or perhaps was reminded once again… that it is always imperative to get feedback before anything gets sent out.
Draft One:
Title: The Filmmaker’s Revenge or The Dreammaker’s Revenge (TBD)
Written by: Guil Parreiras
Genre: Crime / Drama
Sometimes a Hollywood dream can become a nightmare!
A crazed movie-obsessed screenwriter, Harold, and his director, Travis, are in financial ruin because of the failure of their indie film. The logical solution would be to pay it off, but no… instead, Harold kidnaps Valenti, a producer!
Such reckless action sets Harold and Travis against each other. Should they let Valenti go? What if he calls the cops? But, just when they get close to a solution, Travis’s accidental death becomes a point of no return and may implicate both Harold and Valenti.
The unlikely duo are now forced to work together to elude a cunning detective — it’s a self-serving engagement for the sake of survival! As the detective closes in on them, Harold and Valenti turn on each other. The question remains: who will outwit who and who will evade the law?
This is a contained screenplay with five actors, two interior locations, and some exterior pick-ups. Can be very inexpensive to make!
If you like the concept, I’d be happy to send you the script. Thank you.
Bio: Guil is a writer/director with a BFA in Film Studies from Columbia University and an MFA in Creative Writing from The City College of New York. His screenplay Rock Story was a Top 50 Finalist in the ISA Fast Track Fellowship and his short screenplay Another Day on the Line is a semi-finalist in the Outstanding Screenplays Shorts Competition.
Contact Info:
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ASSIGNMENT
Guil’s Target Market
What I learned doing this assignment is that by researching producers who have had projects similar to mine in budget and/or genre, I can better focus on a network of connections that may have an interest in my project.
Title: The Filmmaker’s Revenge or The Dreammaker’s Revenge (TBD)
Genre: Crime/Drama
Logline: A jaded screenwriter with a mean streak, a desperate director, a shark producer with a past, and a gullible porn actor are woven into a tale of kidnapping, betrayal and murder.
1) Make a list of five or more movies that are similar to yours and five actors that you might want to play your lead characters.
Movies: Drive, Hurlyburly, The Player, Killing Zoe, Reservoir Dogs, Swimming with Sharks, Suicide Kings.
Actors for the main role: Ezra Miller, Evan Peters, Taron Egerton, Charlie Heaton, Josh Hutcherson.
2) Using the Targeting process above, go to http://www.imdb.com and find 50 to 100 producers (or more) for your specific project.
Producers:
From Reservoir Dogs: Lawrence Bender, Richard N. Gladstein.
From HurlyBurly: Carl Copaert, Lila Yacoub, Frederick Zollo.
From Drive: Frank Capra III, Garrick Dion, David Lancaster, Bill Lischak, Michel Litvak, Linda McDonough, Jonathan Oakes, John Palermo, Marc Platt, Gigi Pritzker, Chris Ranta, Peter Schlessel, Adam Siegel, James Smith, Jeffrey Stott, Gary Michael Walters.
From Suicide Kings: Patrick Peach, Wayne Allan Rice
From The Player: Cary Brokaw, Michael Tolkin, Nick Wechsler
and many more…
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ASSIGNMENT
Guil’s Phone Pitch
What I learned from this lesson is that by choosing one of the strategies, writers can better find a way to pitch quickly before being told, “Sorry, no unsolicited materials.”
Write out your phone pitch along with answers to the questions.
1. Tell us which of the four strategies you are going to use to open your pitch:
Lead with credibility.
2. Give us your script for phone call pitches, like I did above.
Hi, my name is Guil and I’m an award-winning screenwriter with writing degrees from Columbia and The City College of New York. I’m wondering if I could run a 30-second pitch by you?
I have a Crime/Drama titled The Filmmaker’s Revenge. It’s about a crazed movie-obsessed screenwriter and a desperate director who are in financial ruin because of the failure of their indie film. The logical solution would be to pay it off, but no… instead, the screenwriter kidnaps a producer!
3. Give us a one or two sentence answer to the questions a producer may ask:
What’s the budget range?
Low budget: $500k to $2 million. This is a contained screenplay with five actors, two interior locations, and some exterior pick-ups. Can be very inexpensive to make!
Who do you see in the main roles?
For the Producer role, if this were a higher budget movie, someone like Dev Patel, Riz Ahmed, Tom Hardy or Oscar Issac. For the Screenwriter role, someone like Ezra Miller or Charlie Heaton. For the Director role, Lucas Hodges or Josh Hutcherson.
How many pages is the script?
73.
Who else has seen this?
So far, no one. I’m in the process of sending it out.
Why do you think this fits our company?
Because you produce low-budget independent movies that fit the genre and budget I’m working with, and I thought it would be a perfect fit.
How does the movie end?
The producer and the screenwriter, likely to be implicated in two deaths, have no choice but to team up to elude a cunning detective — it’s a self-serving engagement for the sake of survival! As the detective closes in on them, the screenwriter and producer turn on each other. The last question remains: who will evade the law?
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ASSIGNMENT
Guil’s Pitch Fest Pitch
What I learned is that this model really works because it allows us to organize the pitch in a way that is concise and to the point. It helps to avoid the trap of rambling for minutes on end.
1. Tell us your credibility.
Hi, I’m Guil and my screenplay Rock Story was a Top 50 Finalist in the ISA Fast Track Fellowship and my screenplay Another Day on the Line is a semi-finalist in the Outstanding Screenplays Shorts Competition.
2. Tell us your genre and title.
I have a Crime/Drama entitled The Dreammaker’s Revenge.
3. What is your one or two sentence hook?
It’s about a crazed movie-obsessed screenwriter and a director who are in financial ruin because of the failure of their indie film. The logical solution would be to pay it off, but no… instead, the screenwriter kidnaps a producer!
4. Please give your one or two sentence answer to each of these questions:
What is the budget range?
Low budget: $500k to $2 million.
What actors do you like for the lead roles?
For the Producer role, if this were a higher budget movie, someone like Dev Patel, Riz Ahmed, Tom Hardy or Oscar Issac. For the Screenwriter role, someone like Ezra Miller or Charlie Heaton. For the Director role, Lucas Hodges or Josh Hutcherson.
Give me the acts of the story.
A down-and-out screenwriter’s only hope of making money is if he gets hired for an assignment. But when he gets turned down by a powerful producer, the screenwriter loses his shit and kidnaps the producer.
Things take a worse turn when a porn actor, the producer’s friend who was at the wrong place at the wrong time, accidentally dies which may implicate the director, the producer and the screenwriter. Desperate and in a fit of rage, the screenwriter unintentionally kills the director.
This is a point of no return now and the producer and the screenwriter have no choice but to team up to elude a cunning detective investigating the two deaths — it’s a self-serving engagement for the sake of survival! As the detective closes in on them, the screenwriter and producer turn on each other. The last question remains: who will evade the law?
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Guil’s Query Letter.
What I learned doing this assignment is that I was able to write the first draft of a query letter that may be interesting. Working from the hooks allowed me to focus on what might be engaging for the reader. It’s a good start…
Title: The Dreammaker’s Revenge
Written by: Guil Parreiras
Genre: Crime / Drama
Sometimes a Hollywood dream can become a nightmare!
A crazed movie-obsessed screenwriter and his director are in financial ruin because of the failure of their indie film. The logical solution would be to pay it off, but no… instead, the screenwriter kidnaps a producer!
Such reckless action sets the director and screenwriter against each other. Should they let the producer go? What if he calls the cops? But, just when they find a way out, the accidental death of the director becomes a point of no return and may implicate both the producer and the screenwriter.
The unlikely duo are now forced to work together to elude a cunning detective — it’s a self-serving engagement for the sake of survival! As the detective closes in on them, the screenwriter and producer turn on each other. The last question remains: who will evade the law?
This is a contained screenplay with five actors, two interior locations, and some exterior pick-ups. Very inexpensive to make!
If you like the concept, I’d be happy to send you the script. Thank you.
Bio: Guil is a writer/director with a BFA in Film Studies from Columbia University and an MFA in Creative Writing from The City College of New York. His screenplay Rock Story was a Top 50 Finalist in the ISA Fast Track Fellowship and his short screenplay Another Day on the Line is a semi-finalist in the Outstanding Screenplays Shorts Competition.
Contact Info:
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ASSIGNMENT
Guil, Synopsis Hooks.
What I learned doing this assignment is that by starting from the hooks, it makes it more manageable to draft a synopsis. It’s very easy to get lost in a “book report,” but by focusing on the hooks, writers can best create something that is engaging.
2. Select 6 – 10 hooks that could give an overview of your story.
COM:
Unique? The Dreammaker’s Revenge is a contained Crime Drama with a dark comedy undertone. The world of kidnapping, betrayal and murder has twists and turns that can keep the audience guessing until the end. The story makes use of the tropes: 1) kidnapping a producer (Swimming with Sharks), 2) the dysfunctional co-dependence between two characters (Sunset Boulevard), and 3) an accident that has irreversible consequences (Detour); and it immerses the audience into the world of a movie-obsessed and crazed screenwriter who will do anything it takes to “make it” and exact revenge on those who get in his way. The consequence is a point of no return.
Similarity to a box-office success? Yes. Since this is a contained script, it makes Covid-safety issues more manageable. Additionally, two interior main locations can also make it logistically feasible. Of the comps: The Player, Reservoir Dogs, Swimming with Sharks, Suicide Kings, Sunset Boulevard… Reservoir Dogs might be the most similar because of the possibility of having a great ensemble with a few locations and one main location where the majority of the movie takes place.
MIT:
A. What is most unique about your villain and hero? The hero, or perhaps, the anti-hero, is a dysfunctional screenwriter who, in a crazed state, kidnaps a producer. His action sets off a series of complications with a point of no return. The villain (or victim) is the producer who rejects the screenwriter, but he is also the one who helps the screenwriter get rid of the bodies… not out of the kindness of his heart, but because he may be implicated…
B. Major hook of your opening scene? A screenwriter and his partner/director are in financial ruin because of their indie feature film. What the screenwriter does next makes it all much worse: kidnapping a producer. Such action sets the director and screenwriter against each other. Should they let the producer go? What if he calls the cops???
C. Any turning points? In a fit of rage, the screenwriter kills the director; and the accidental death of a porn actor (the producer’s friend who was at the wrong place at the wrong time) may implicate both the screenwriter and the producer.
D. Emotional dilemma? The unstable screenwriter’s actions lead him to kidnapping, betrayal and murder. Bad choices lead him deeper into regret and guilt, and on a journey to find a way out.
E. Major twists? The screenwriter and producer are tied together now because of the deaths of two people. They both need to work together to evade the detective. It’s a self-serving engagement for the sake of survival.
F. Reversals? As the detective close in on them, the screenwriter and producer turn on each other. The question remains: who will win?
G. Character betrayals? The screenwriter and the director betray each other, leading to the director’s death. The screenwriter and the producer turn on each other. Sloppy mistakes in the disposal of the bodies bring the detective closer to the truth.
H. Or any big surprises? The producer secretly accumulates evidence against the screenwriter, just in case… and when the detective returns with damning evidence against the producer, the blame game starts, and the question is: who will go to jail?
3. Organize those hooks into a sequence that makes sense for the story.
B. Major hook of your opening scene? A screenwriter and his partner/director are in financial ruin because of the failure of their indie feature film. What the screenwriter does next makes it all much worse: kidnapping a producer. Such action sets the director and screenwriter against each other. Should they let the producer go? What if he calls the cops???
Unique? The Dreammaker’s Revenge is a contained Crime Drama with a dark comedy undertone. It immerses the audience into the world of a movie-obsessed and crazed screenwriter who will do anything it takes to “make it” and exact revenge on those who get in his way. The consequence is a point of no return.
C. Any turning points? In a fit of rage, the screenwriter kills the director; and the accidental death of a porn actor (the producer’s friend who was at the wrong place at the wrong time) may implicate both the screenwriter and the producer.
E. Major twists? The screenwriter and producer are tied together now because of the deaths of two people. They both need to work together to evade the detective. It’s a self-serving engagement for the sake of survival.
F. Reversals? As the detective close in on them, the screenwriter and producer turn on each other. The question remains: who will win?
4. Using those hooks as an outline, write a first draft of your synopsis.
Title: The Dreammaker’s Revenge
Written by Guil Parreiras
Genre: Crime / Drama
A crazed movie-obsessed screenwriter and his director are in financial ruin because of the failure of their indie film. The logical solution would be to pay it off, but no… instead, the screenwriter kidnaps a producer.
Such action sets the director and screenwriter against each other. Should they let the producer go? What if he calls the cops? But, just when they may have found a way out, the accidental death of the director becomes a point of no return and may implicate both the producer and the screenwriter.
The screenwriter and producer are now tied together and they both need to work together to evade a cunning detective — it’s a self-serving engagement for the sake of survival.
As the detective close in on them, the screenwriter and producer turn on each other. The last question remains: who will evade the law?
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Guil, High Concept/Elevator Pitch.
4. What I learned doing this assignment is that this is one of the most important skills a screenwriter can learn. If we can’t tell people what the story is about in one or a few sentences, we have a problem. This is a skill that needs to be mastered. By working on this, I was able to break down all the elements to uncover the elevator pitch. I feel that I still need to nail it, but this is a good start.
1. To find your main hook, tell us what the big picture explanation of your lead character’s journey is.
Broke and desperate, an inconsequential screenwriter makes the ultimate mistake: he kidnaps a producer, leading to betrayal, murder and a police investigation.
2. How can you tell it in the most interesting way possible?
Dilemma
A screenwriter makes the ultimate mistake: he kidnaps a producer. Is this a point of no return? How will he reverse his mistake?
Main Conflict
A screenwriter makes the ultimate mistake: he kidnaps a producer. Should the screenwriter let him go? What if the producer calls the cops?
What’s at stake?
A screenwriter’s bad decision to kidnap a producer may land him in jail unless he finds a way out.
Goal/Unique Opposition
A broke and desperate screenwriter’s only chance of “making it” is killed when a producer hires someone else.
3. Using the 10 Components of Marketability, what is your Elevator Pitch?
I’m working on a Crime Drama about a desperate and unstable screenwriter who kidnaps a producer, and after the accidental death of a director which may implicate them both, the screenwriter and producer are forced to team up to evade a cunning detective.
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Guil, 10 Most Interesting Things.
1. Go through your project and see which of these specific hooks you have:
A. What is most unique about your villain and hero? The hero, or perhaps, the anti-hero, is a dysfunctional screenwriter who, in a crazed state, kidnaps a producer. His action sets off a series of complications with a point of no return. The villain is the producer who rejects the screenwriter, but he is also the one who helps the screenwriter get rid of the bodies… not out of the kindness of his heart, but because he may be implicated…
B. Major hook of your opening scene? A screenwriter and his partner/director are in financial ruin because of their indie feature film. What the screenwriter does next makes it all much worse: kidnapping a producer. Such action sets the director and screenwriter against each other. Should they let the producer go? What if he calls the cops???
C. Any turning points? In a fit of rage, the screenwriter kills the director; and the accidental death of a porn actor (the producer’s friend who was at the wrong place at the wrong time) may implicate both the screenwriter and the producer.
D. Emotional dilemma? The unstable screenwriter’s actions lead him to kidnapping, betrayal and murder. Bad choices lead him deeper into regret and guilt, and on a journey to find a way out.
E. Major twists? The screenwriter and producer are tied together now because of the deaths of two people. They both need to work together to evade the detective. It’s a self-serving engagement for the sake of survival.
F. Reversals? As the detective close in on them, the screenwriter and producer turn on each other. The question remains: who will win?
G. Character betrayals? The screenwriter and the director betray each other, leading to the director’s death. The screenwriter and the producer turn on each other. Sloppy mistakes in the disposal of the bodies bring the detective closer to the truth.
H. Or any big surprises? The producer secretly accumulates evidence against the screenwriter, just in case… and when the detective returns with damning evidence against the producer, the blame game starts, and the question is: who will go to jail?
2. Make a list of any other things in your script that could interest a producer.
All of the most interesting things are mentioned above.
3. Organize both and select the 10 most interesting things. Post those to the forums.
N/A.
4. Answer the question “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” and post it at the top of your work.
Breaking down the most interesting things allows us to focus what has the most potential to attract a producer and/or a manager. It compartmentalizes what is the most marketable about the script.
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Guil, Producer/Manager.
1. How will you present yourself and your project to the producer?
What may be the most marketable quality of the script is that it is contained. It can be done very inexpensively. That might give it leeway in the casting, to go from casting indie film actors to well-known stars. So, it has commercial potential. I’m leaning towards a low-budget indie film.
Another marketable quality may be that it is set in a world of kidnapping, betrayal and murder has twists and turns that can keep the audience guessing until the end. The story makes use of the tropes: 1) kidnapping a producer (Swimming with Sharks), 2) the dysfunctional co-dependence between two characters (Sunset Boulevard), and 3) an accident that has irreversible consequences (Detour); and it immerses the audience into the world of a movie-obsessed and crazed screenwriter who will do anything it takes to “make it” and exact revenge on those who get in his way. The consequence is a point of no return.
2. How will you present yourself and your project to the manager?
I would also refer to its marketability, but also make reference to my experience as a writer and/or director where I have collaborated constructively and positively with many people. It’s not only about the script itself, but my ability to successfully collaborate with others. I would also mention my desire to maintain a long-lasting career. I have written scripts in different genres and I would highlight my passion to work on a variety of projects.
3. Answer the question “What I learned today is…?”
It is imperative to present yourself as a professional writer who can work in a collaborative environment. The goal is always to get produced. Period.
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ASSIGNMENT
Guil, Marketable Components.
Pick one or two components and tell us how your script already fulfills them AND how you might highlight these two in order to elevate the pitch.
1. Tell us your current logline.
A jaded screenwriter with a mean streak, a desperate director, a shark producer with a past, and a gullible porn actor are woven into a tale of kidnapping, betrayal and murder.
2. Look through the 10 Components of Marketability and pick one or two that have the most potential for selling this script.
A. Unique: a world of kidnapping, betrayal and murder… seen that before, but in a world of filmmakers… A screenwriter kidnaps a producer… seen that too, but after an accidental death which may implicate both of them, the screenwriter and producer are forced to team up to evade a cunning detective. It’s a film noir set in the world of filmmakers.
I. Similarity to a box-office success. The Player, Reservoir Dogs, Swimming with Sharks, Sunset Boulevard.
3. Do a quick brainstorm session about ways to elevate those two components for this script and tell us how you might pitch the script through the two components.
Unique? The Dreammaker’s Revenge is a contained Crime Drama with a dark comedy undertone. The world of kidnapping, betrayal and murder has twists and turns that can keep the audience guessing until the end. The story makes use of the tropes: 1) kidnapping a producer (Swimming with Sharks), 2) the dysfunctional co-dependence between two characters (Sunset Boulevard), and 3) an accident that has irreversible consequences (Detour); and it immerses the audience into the world of a movie-obsessed and crazed screenwriter who will do anything it takes to “make it” and exact revenge on those who get in his way. The consequence is a point of no return.
Similarity to a box-office success? Yes. Since this is a contained script, it makes Covid-safety issues more manageable. Additionally, two interior main locations can also make it logistically feasible. Of the comps: The Player, Reservoir Dogs, Swimming with Sharks, Suicide Kings, and Sunset Boulevard, Reservoir Dogs might be the most similar because of the possibility of having a great ensemble with a few locations.
4. Answer the question “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” and post it at the top of your work.
By doing this assignment, I was able to brainstorm what may be my strengths and weaknesses when developing a marketable plan. It was easier to see where the holes are and how I can improve.
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Guil, Project and Market.
1. Give us your Genre, Title, and Concept.
Genre: Crime, Drama
Title: The Dreammaker’s Revenge
Concept: A struggling filmmaker makes the wrong move with a producer setting off a point of no return that jeopardizes not only his life but everyone around him.
2. In one or two sentences, tell us what you think is most attractive about your story.
My screenplay is a contained story that takes place in two interior locations with a few b-roll exteriors. Financially that might be attractive to producers. It’s also a character-driven crime drama with a dark comedy undertone with a contained cast of five actors.
Another way to express the concept is: my story captures some of film noir’s themes: the haunted past and the fatalistic nightmare. The main character is a dysfunctional screenwriter who makes terrible mistakes and the past comes back to haunt him. His deranged choices become a fatalistic nightmare, a point of no return.
3. Tell us which you will target FIRST — managers, producers, or actor’s production company — and why you picked that target.
Indie Producers. That’s because the target is producers that work with budgets of the 500G-2K range.
4. Answer the question “What I learned today is…?”
Being able to eloquently express a concept that hooks producers is a hard task. A skill has need to be honed. Something I’m looking forward to improving on.
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Guil Parreiras
Working now on the sixth feature-length script.
I hope to improve my marketing/pitching skills so I can generate interest from producers and managers, and sell my scripts.
I have written and directed stage plays, made short films, written poetry, played lead guitar in rock bands… I love the arts in general. I was able to safely shoot a new short and direct a music video in 2020, right in the middle of the pandemic. Gotta keep working, no matter what!
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1. Guil Parreiras.
2. I agree to the terms of this release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
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Guil’s Right Characters!
What I learned doing this assignment is that by focusing on the hook and brainstorming character traits that best fit the hook, I’ll have a better chance of coming up with a more engaging story.
I ended up brainstorming for two of the five ideas and discovered some intriguing character ideas. At the same time, I realized I have some gaps to fill in. Still fleshing things out…
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Guil’s Great Hook!
A. How did this process work for you?
It worked really to let loose and allow different ideas to flow without judgment. Trying to nail it right away is a trap. Ideas have to be developed and re-worked. Finding the hook is a process.
B. What did you learn doing this assignment?
I learned a lot more about the original idea than I expected. It helped to see where the gaps were and where the story could go. It helped to think outside the box, to avoid clichés.
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ASSIGNMENT PART 1: Select Your Project
Of the five ideas, I feel that I have been able to keep all five contained, but there are two that would require larger budgets since they are Sci-Fi. I’m leaning towards something that has a lower budget to make it more likely to be produced. I’ve been able to write two pitches, but the others need more work. There is one that really excited me.
ASSIGNMENT PART 2: Adjust a Produced Movie to Covid Guidelines
TITLE: Marriage Story
AS THEY DID IT:
A. People: Two main actors, two lawyers, and many supporting roles.
B. Stunts: none
C. Extras: many extras (court room, theatre company actors, restaurant, subway, etc.)
D. Wardrobe: a lot of different wardrobe in various locations.
E. Hair and Make Up: Negligible
F. Kids and Animals: Kids, yes.
G. Quarantine: A large number of actors, extras, and crew to quarantine.
COVID GUIDELINE VERSION:
A. People: Husband and wife, two lawyers, two-three supporting roles. Show passage of time in relationship without the various locations, say, in two locations (before and after the marriage fell apart), plus two law offices, or the lawyer scenes can be via Zoom. The supporting roles can appear in the two locations. Move the location outside of a big city, more spread out, somewhere on the country side. What matters is that it’s a story of a marriage that fell apart.
B. Stunts: None.
C. Extras: None.
D. Wardrobe: Negligible
E. Hair and Make Up: Negligible
F. Kids and Animals: None. We don’t see their child who could be in a summer camp or in school in the flashback scenes, and the scenes in the present can be about the custody battle without the child.
G. Quarantine: About seven actors to quarantine and a small crew.
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Hello everyone, it’s very nice to meet you! My name is Guil and I’m really excited to be in this class. I’ve written five scripts in different genres.
My goal is to write at least one contained script.
As far as something unique, special, strange or unusual about me… not sure, but I’ve been involved in other showbiz/art forms over the years, directed a bunch of stage plays, I’m a guitarist, among other artsy things.
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This is such a great original idea! Awesome!
1) Does it have an opening hook that lures us into the story? If so, does it make us want to read more?
For some reason, it reads more like a drama to me, not so much a comedy. The first line needs to push the buttons a little more. Maybe something along the lines: A teen girl dreams of being a ballerina, but a doughnut addiction, a corrupt competitor and her widowed father stand in the way!
2) Does it give us an interesting character that we want to know more about?
Yes, but we need to know more about why her father objects to her dreams since his wife was a successful ballerina. Then, we would root for the girl even more when we see that she goes against her father, steals his money, buys a tutu, and goes for her dreams no matter what. Is her father like the father character in Shine?
3) Does the query letter flow well?
Yes. Just strengthen the hooks a little more.
4) Does it end with a hook (impossible goal or emotional dilemma) that increases the chance a producer will request the script?
“She wins a scholarship to meet her gas and lodging expenses.”
How about leaving us guessing about whether she gets the scholarship or not? That seems to be the make-it or break-it moment. Or, she gets the scholarship, but then we learn that she has a major obstacle ahead, an “all is lost” event or something where the stakes are really high, which raises the question… how will she fare?
5) Were there any parts that were confusing?
The father’s objection and also the part about the doughnut addiction. Is that self-sabotage? What is the cause of her addition? Also, add a little more info about the “corrupt” competitor. Corrupt in what way? The competitor seems to win every time. By cheating?
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Hi Cara,
I’m so interested in this story. I love his work. “Letters to a Young Poet” should be a requirement for every writer 🙂
So, here we go:
1) Does it have an opening hook that lures us into the story? If so, does it make us want to read more?
I do agree with everyone’s assessment that we need a stronger hook here. Thomas’s hook idea is a great start: “Obsession nearly killed the fragile poet, Rilke. Letting go made him legendary.”
Just brainstorming here:
“Before he was Rainer Maria Rilke, he was a fragile poet, marred by heartbreak and obsession. To become legendary, he had to let it all go.”
Or,
“Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart.”
Before he was Rainer Maria Rilke, he was a fragile poet, marred by heartbreak and obsession.
2) Does it give us an interesting character that we want to know more about?
For sure. What is not clear to me is Rilke’s “solution for inspiration” to seek out Rodin. Given that Rodin was abusive, what attracted Rilke to him? Perhaps to learn from an established artist? That relationship has to be clearer.
3) Does the query letter flow well?
Yes.
4) Does it end with a hook (impossible goal or emotional dilemma) that increases the chance a producer will request the script?
I think that an impossible goal or emotional dilemma needs to be presented at the end. There should be less of a focus on his eventual fame and more on his struggles. The fame we already know about, what hooks us is his journey.
5) Were there any parts that were confusing?
The Rodin reference.