Gustavo Cosenza
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Hi, I’m ready to exchange feedback.
Title: Displacement
Genre: Drama/Thriller
A top-tier microbiologist that is escaping her country, gets caught and put into a prisoner transport vehicle, she finds out she is the missing piece to an operation that could free her homeland.
This is my email: guscomo@gmail.com
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Gustavo’s Outline
What I learned from doing this assignment is…
I enjoyed the process but it became very difficult to keep it contained. I tried to focus on the story and building the characters as best as possible to keep things interesting. I definitely think it can be polished and some things are a bit generic but as the first outline, I’m happy with the result. I’m excited to hear some feedback.
Title: United
Genre: Drama/Thriller
Concept: A top-tier microbiologist that is escaping her country, gets caught and put into a prisoner transport vehicle, she finds out she is the missing piece to an operation that could free her homeland.
Hook: What would you do if as you are escaping your country you find out you are the missing piece for its liberation?
INT. HOUSE – DAY
VICTORIA (26) packs a small backpack with clothes, money, food and a small medical bag. Victoria tears up when SARA (4) helps her pack joyfully.
EXT. HOUSE – AFTERNOON
Victoria reminds MARIA (65) to get out of the city soon, gives her money and says goodbye to them both.
EXT. STREET – NIGHT
Victoria has to avoid military personnel who are in control of the streets.
A group of people break in a store, a man gets mugged by someone on a motorcycle.
Several homeless men ask Victoria for food.
An elderly woman watches Victoria walk from a window and hide. There is real fear, poverty and chaos in this city.
EXT. BUS STOP – NIGHT
Victoria gets in a truck transporting bananas, there is a small secret compartment where 20 people are already hiding.
EXT. BORDER CONTROL – NIGHT
The truck driver is nervous while the police officer searches the truck. Hell breaks loose when he finds the compartment with people hiding. While escaping into the forest, some people get shot.
EXT. FOREST – NIGHT
While running Rich appears out of nowhere and gives Victoria her backpack that she lost while escaping. He is leading the way.
10 people with backpacks and fear in their eyes walk on a beach, the desert and a forest.
EXT.- FOREST – NIGHT
While camping, the group gets ambushed by people with guns and face masks and crammed into a prison vehicle.
INT. PRISON VEHICLE – NIGHT
Rich is strangely calm and shares his immigration story with the other prisoners. The group shares terror stories that put into evidence the atrocious actions of the oppressive government.
Victoria doesn’t share, instead plans the escape. She asks the guards to go to the bathroom, the car stops, and she gets out followed by a guard.
The group is waiting for something…
EXT. ROAD NEAR FOREST – NIGHT
Victoria screams and everyone pushes the door, hitting the soldier. Victoria grabs him by the neck on the floor, the body is left motionless.
Rich asks about the two lifeless bodies, Victoria assures they are fine and start running.
INT. MEETING ROOM GOVERNMENT BUILDING – DAY
DAVID (27) sits in a room with half a dozen people, SERGIO (65) is the leader and reveals his obsessive behavior towards the rising revolutionary movement. They watch the surveillance video of the “traitors” being shot, while escaping the country.
David receives a message on his blinking wristband. He has a lead to a “traitor’s house”. He shares pictures of Victoria’s house, Sara is outside playing with Maria.
Sergio orders a raid.
INT. POLICE STATION – DAY
Police officers get ready, it’s like they are preparing for war.
EXT. FOREST – DAY
While escaping through the forest, Victoria notices they are being followed. She manages to doze two soldiers before discovering she is surrounded by armed men led by Rich.
Rich reveals he wants the weapon she is using on his soldiers to kill a narco leader friend of the president. Victoria is not interested.
Rich asks everyone to lower their gun and shows a video of her house being raided by police officers. Sara and Maria are safe, Rich’s men got them out in time.
Rich hands a phone to Victoria, it’s Sara and Maria, they are safe and being released near a bus station.
She needs to go and find more samples of the organism. Victoria accepts Rich’s truce offering with some conditions.
INT. PRISON CAR – NIGHT
Victoria puts on a protection suit and avoids explaining anything to Rich who is constantly asking about the organism, she only reveals it’s found in a specific hour and place when it’s super dangerous.
She manages to get Rich and his people locked in the cell, so she can go alone.
EXT. FOREST RIVER – DAY
She arrives at the site and recognizes the destroyed tents she used to work in.
(flashback)TO THE PAST
Victoria looks more youthful, smiles a lot and talks to someone we don’t identify but there is chemistry between them.
She retrieves the first sample and examines it in a small lab in one of the tents.
(flashback)TO THE PRESENT
She prepares the site, and starts the procedure, she finds a burnt bucket.
(flashback) TO THE PAST
Victoria is furious while she throws papers, folders and samples in the bucket, she burns it all. The laboratory is destroyed. She is hugged by someone.
She keeps a sample.
(flashback) TO THE PRESENT
Victoria finds the organism and stores it.
INT. PRISON CELL – NIGHT
David is ordered to kill the captured “traitors” and have cameras documenting everything there. David fakes the killing but the videos look realistic.
INT. PRISON CAR – NIGHT
Rich looks at the videos of the traitors being killed, he is fuming.
EXT. BORDER CONTROL – NIGHT
Rich orders a synchronized and perfectly executed killing of all the border police officers. Victoria sees this firsthand.
INT. REVOLUTION HQ – NIGHT
Victoria walks through the HQ offices with DIEGO (37), right hand of Rich. There is chaos after the killing at the border, but still the whole operation looks organized.
INT. LABORATORY – DAY
DIEGO takes Victoria to a lab with the things she asked, he tries to make her feel at home and reveals he despises Rich’s actions sometimes.
Victoria develops the weapon, the dose is timed to do its effect in a certain amount of time, Rich is pleased.
INT. REVOLUTION HQ – NIGHT
Rich briefs the mission to Victoria but she notices the lies. Diego and Victoria exchange looks.
Victoria finds out the target is not the narco leader but a big group of the high-up political power of the government including the president.
INT. LABORATORY – DAY
Victoria is fuming, she takes the weapon and when she is about to leave, she finds out she is locked in the laboratory.
She finds another way to escape the building using her weapon.
EXT. PRISON CELL – NIGHT
A guard sees David helping release the prisoners from the cell and is about to snitch, David chokes him out.
INT. REVOLUTION HQ – NIGHT
Rich is informed that Victoria escaped, they are tracking her via GPS, he is about to unleash a whole armed operation. Diego asks him to give him a chance to convince her to come back, Rich accepts.
EXT. BUS STATION – DAY
Diego finds Victoria and asks her about her motivations for joining the operation.
(Flashback) TO THE PAST
INT. HOUSE – DAY
Victoria opens the door of the house with a smile, she is accompanied by someone we don’t identify.
Someone is saying goodbye to Victoria who is with baby Sara in her arms.
Victoria crying over the phone when she is desperately trying to find someone.
Someone’s funeral.
Victoria taking care of baby Sara alone.
(Flashback) TO THE PRESENT
EXT. BUS STATION – DAY
She has lost everyone to this oppressive government. She only wants a better future for her daughter, she’ll save money for another opportunity to escape the country.
Diego convinces Victoria, this is the only chance to end this and free their country. She accepts but she won’t be going back to HQ and she’ll decide who will be administering the dose in the operation. She’s always one step ahead.
INT. NEWS ANCHOR – DAY
A news anchor reports on one of the “traitors” that escaped prison thanks to David. The media reported his death falsely thanks to the videos released by the government. He left his country and is being interviewed for a news report from another country.
INT. MEETING ROOM GOVERNMENT BUILDING – DAY
Sergio and his council see the news report. They are informed of the border killing and identify Rich and Victoria.
Sergio is fuming and orders tens of raids with the help of the narco militia. They’ll do an official media announcement tomorrow.
INT. REVOLUTION HQ – NIGHT
Rich gets informed on David’s situation. he gets mad and accelerates the operation.
INT. DIEGO’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Victoria opens a bit up to Diego and explains if the organism is released, it could be a real threat to humanity. When funding was cut, they destroyed their life research because of this.
Diego shares that his inside man could help her administer the doses, he worked in scientific research in his past life.
He explains how they’ll act after the killing takes place, on paper everything thing sounds good.
There is some chemistry between Diego and Victoria, but nothing happens, she sleeps in the sofa, he goes to his room.
The next day there is a package outside with uniforms and a car key.
EXT. BACK ENTRANCE GOVERNMENT BUILDING – DAY
Victoria infiltrates with Diego the government building on a cleaning truck.
INT. CORRIDOR GOVERNMENT BUILDING – DAY
Victoria meets with David, she doesn’t recognize him at first but when he smiles…
(Flashback) TO THE PAST
EXT. FOREST RIVER – DAY
David is the one who was always with her when she was discovering the organism… when they burnt their research. When they entered the house, he is the father of Sara.
INT. CORRIDOR GOVERNMENT BUILDING – DAY
(Flashback) TO THE PRESENT
They can’t interact because they are surrounded by cameras.
She shows him how to administer the dose with him. She starts the timer, it has other timers ready to go. She gives David some doses.
Rich is disguised as one of the cameramen from the media.
INT. PRESIDENTS OFFICE – DAY
Sergio, surrounded by 10 top government officials and David, gives the announcement on national TV of the operation “kill terrorist”. He shows the faces of Rich and Victoria as the wanted terrorist. They’ll raid every house in the city looking for them.
David manages to apply the dose to everyone but the president and Vice president before, during and after the announcement.
David tries to shake hands with the vice president, to administer the dose. He stops, asks him to go to his office now and walks away. He knows something.
INT. CORRIDOR GOVERNMENT BUILDING – DAY
Sergio invites the press to join him in the press room to answer further questions.
Victoria as a cleaning lady, drops her broom. Sergio stops and as the photographers take pictures, he reaches the broom and hands it over to Victoria, he shakes hands with her. She smiles and starts the timer.
David confirms to Victoria the vice president hasn’t ingested the dose and thinks he is suspecting. Time is running out.
INT. PRESIDENTS OFFICE – DAY
As David enters the office, the vice president is pointing a gun at him, he knows he is part of the revolution, demands answers.
INT. CORRIDOR GOVERNMENT BUILDING – DAY
Rich asks Victoria to give him the dose, she gives the dose, but doses Rich secretly.
INT. PRESIDENTS OFFICE – DAY
The Vice president is about to pull the trigger when, Rich and Victoria storm in and administer the dose. They tie him up.
Victoria looks at her watch, it’s starting.
INT. CORRIDOR GOVERNMENT BUILDING – DAY
As some cameramen walk into the press room, the minister of defense starts having a heart attack. Some people take photos others call for a doctor, chaos sets in.
INT. PRESS ROOM – DAY
The president calls the media into the room and takes out the importance of the situation with a joke. Cameras start to roll. He answers a couple of questions, he gets informed something privately, he continues.
He gets interrupted again and looks nervous. He gets interrupted yet again, he stays silent and understands they are being attacked. He suddenly faints.
A couple of ministers enter the room and fall. There is chaos, all the press runs all over the place.
INT. CORRIDOR GOVERNMENT BUILDING – DAY
The corridor is full of people, more big shots faint.
David faints, in the corridor, photographers take pictures of him.
INT. CLEANING CLOSET GOVERNMENT BUILDING – DAY
Victoria takes him into the closet and puts the antidote. He is revived.
They exchange looks silently, Victoria has a mix of emotions and asks him why he never reached out. David apologizes and explains his plan to join the government team, it was the only way to do it.
Rich shares he saw Sara playing at their house. Victoria understands Rich ordered the raid on her house to manipulate her.
INT. PRESIDENTS OFFICE – DAY
Victoria and David find Rich sitting in the president’s chair and is fainting. Rich asks Victoria for the antidote, but she denies it, she knows he was the one that gave the lead for the raid at her house. Rich dies.
INT. CLEANING TRUCK – DAY
David and Victoria escape through the chaos and get in the cleaning truck. Victoria explains why he let Rich die. She is confident Diego will take over and bring peace.
EXT. COUNTRY HOUSE – DAY
Sara’s face illuminates when she sees them. David is happy. Sara smiles for the first time, some wounds have finally healed.
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Gustavo’s Budget
What I learned doing this assignment is to understand the impact of decisions at this moment. It’s nice to see the budget from this perspective at this moment.
General Breakdown
Victoria’s house INT – Child
Victoria’s House EXT – Child
Banana truck with hidden space – 10 more people
Night – Border control – guns – stunts – 15 people
2-4 Natual environments – 5 people
Prison vehicle – 10 people
Night – Escape prison vehicle – 10 people
Government building 1st reunion closed circle – 10 people
Forest Escape – 7 people
Victoria’s House Raid – 5 people – guns – child
Night – Prison killing – 10 people
Border Control – guns – 10 people
Lab – 5 people
Prison building – 10 people
Revolution HQ – 10 people
Prison exterior – 10 people
Government building 2nd reunion – 10 people
Cleaning truck – 2 people
Government building corridor – 20 people
Government building president’s office – 30 people
Government building corridor – 20 people
Government building office – 2 people
Government building press room – 30 people
Government building president’s office – 3 people
Cleaning truck – 2 people
Countryside house – 3 people – child
LOW BUDGET:
MAIN VARIABLES
Number of Locations: 9
Expensive locations: Government building (can be any classic style building with rooms), revolution HQ (warehouse o abandoned building).
Number of characters: 1 Main, 3 support, 30-50 extras, 1 child
Special effects: gunshots, some blood
SOLUTION: Off-screen kills.
Number of pages: 90
Crowd scenes: 2
SOLUTION: Maybe reduce the number of extras by half and solve with camera angles.
Stunts, Chase scenes, and Fight scenes: No
Special sets: No
SECONDARY VARIABLES
Rights to music, brands, books, etc: No
Explosions and Firearm: No explosions, yes firearm
Kids — shorter work days, tutor on the set: Yes 2 set days
Animals: No
Weather — Rain, snow, wind, tornados: No
Water and underwater scenes: no
Night scenes: yes 3-night scenes
Drone shots: Yes
Green screen work: Maybe the last car scene
Extensive Make-up: no
Archival Footage: No
QUADRUPLED BUDGET:
MAIN VARIABLES
Number of Locations: 15
Expensive locations: Government building (can be any classic style building with rooms), revolution HQ (build from scratch and located in an underground bunker).
Number of characters: 1 Main, 3 support, 50-100 extras, 1 child
Special effects: full-on battle scenes, with gunshots, stunts, explosions, blood, and 20-30 extras, tank, and helicopters.
Number of pages: 110
Crowd scenes: 5
Stunts, Chase scenes, and Fight scenes: Yes, two big fights unravel at the border and a chase scene where they manage to barely escape
Special sets: No
SECONDARY VARIABLES
Rights to music, brands, books, etc: Music licensing from big artists
Explosions and Firearm: Yes explosions and extensive use of firearms.
Kids — shorter work days, tutor on the set: Yes 2 set days
Animals: No
Weather — Rain, snow, wind, tornados: Yes, forest scenes or escape scenes with constant tropical rain
Water and underwater scenes: no
Night scenes: yes 5-night scenes
Drone shots: Yes
Green screen work: Maybe the last car scene
Extensive Make-up: no
Archival Footage: No
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Gustavo Writes Great Hope/Fear!
What I learned doing this assignment is to re-learn how to flow with the story. This exercise helped me find a lot of answers and structure.
A top-tier microbiologist that is escaping her lawless country, gets caught and put into a prisoner transport vehicle, she soon discovers she is the missing piece to an operation that could free their homeland.
Act 1:
WARNING: Victoria packs clothes, food, water, tent as if they were going to war. She puts together a pack of medical blisters (dropper, syringes, Shot syringe Gun) colored orange and violet. While also playing with Sarah her 4-year-old daughter, she’s helping pack things.
HOPE: Victoria’s eyes water and feels cold inside when she sees Sarah but tries not to show it. Sara stops for a moment, noticing her tears, the grandmother enters and picks her up with a smile. Victoria gives her an envelope (money for them) and tells her not to go out and keep alert, they’ll go out of the city to their aunt in the country. She’ll make contact once she gets to their new place about a month from now. Sarah smiles and waves goodbye to her.
FEAR: Sunset, She gets in a banana delivery truck. There are 20 people already in the tight space.
WARNING: During night, the truck stops at the border, the driver is nervous and tries to keep the border police in place but fails.
DEATH: The driver opens the hatch, gets shot and everyone starts running. Bullets fly, and Victoria escapes with a group of people into the forest.
HOPE: While running Rich appears out of nowhere and gives Victoria her backpack. The remaining 10 survivors travel through different environments, they maintain high hopes and everyone helps each other. Rich is leading the way and helping everyone in need.
THREAT: During the night they get ambushed by people with guns and face masks and trapped in a prison vehicle.
Act 2:
WOUND: Rich is strangely calm and shares his immigration story with the other prisoners. The group shares.
THREAT: Victoria plans the escape with the others, Rich is not participating but observing.
HOPE: Victoria asks to go the bathroom, the car stops, and she gets out followed by a soldier.
THREAT: The group is waiting for something, they hear Victoria’s scream and everyone pushes the door hitting the soldier while opening the door Victoria dozes him while on the floor.
HOPE: Rich reaches Victoria, she has two lifeless bodies around her as she is helping the group out of the car. Victoria ensures they are ok, Rich checks, don’t worry, and start running with the rest of the group.
HOPE to THREAT: In the government building David is in a meeting with the president, we find out how the government uses violence and oppression to fight a revolutionary uprising. Any traitor found is captured and killed without trial, they disappear without a trace. They see the border video of people escaping the border police and bullets flying. David gives a lead to a revolutionary house and recognizes Victoria’s house but remains poker face. President orders the raid.
HOPE: Victoria and the rest of the group run through the forest, but strangely Rich is not with them.
DANGER: Soldiers start following them, Victoria notices this and catches one off guard and dozes him.
THREAT: She does this with another soldier and as she turns around Rich is behind her accompanied by a group of armed soldiers. She is alone and surrounded.
DANGER: Rich asks Victoria what happened to his soldiers, She diverges. Rich reveals he is under control of the operation and is part of the revolution. He wants to use it as a weapon something only she knows about. He wants to kill a narco leader friend of the president. Victoria plays dumb, she just wants to continue their trip, and doesn’t trust Rich.
HOPE: Rich asks everyone to lower their guns, Rich reveals he has been taking care of her and he protected her when the truck driver was killed and along the way.
THREAT: Rich offers a truce, they’ll protect Sarah whatever she decides and leave the option of continuing her travels or she can join and help kill a narco leader. Victoria not convinced is about to go away.
HOPE: Rich shows a video of Victoria’s house being raided, revolutionary soldiers already saved their daughter and grandmother from the raid. He calls with a satellite phone, Sarah answers, they are ok, Victoria takes some distance and tells the grandmother to go to the safe space. The grandmother sees the men leaving. Victoria asks him to leave them out of the ecuation and she will collaborate. Rich accepts.
HOPE: Victoria informs she has control of the organism, they don’t need to go anywhere to get it, she knows how to cultivate it and has also developed an antidote so the effect is just paralyzing not deadly. She gives carelessly Rich a list of equipment, as she already had it ready.
Act 3:
HOPE: David carries out the plan to save the imprisoned people while showing their bodies to the press.
THREAT: He uses off-screen killing, just one cameraman (it’s an ally) they fake the killing shooting to the floor and asking the prisoners to scream.
CAUTION: These pictures and videos reach Rich and that’s when he goes bonkers. As he gets closer to the border and sees the border police. They want to check up on the prisoners. Rich gets out and kills the border police officers. Victoria witness this.
HOPE: Rich takes her to the lab and she starts working. She gets to know Rich’s assistant, Diego, and his team. He sends indirect messages of how he despises Rich’s actions sometimes.
HOPE: David helps release the imprisoned people.
HOPE: Victoria develops the weapon, and each dose is timed to do its effect in a certain amount of time so they don’t get a heart attack at the same time but at different moments. Diego is there with his team.
THREAT: Rich is very secretive about the operation, he briefs the mission to Victoria but she notices the lies. Diego and Victoria exchange looks.
DANGER: Reveals it’s not the narco leader they are after but the high-up political power of the government, it needs to end with this one single blow. They want to kill them and promote democratic elections. Victoria asks who’ll be the next president. Rich shrugs.
WOUND: Victoria reveals her trauma, she has lost everyone to this oppressive government, her parents who were marked as traitors and disappeared when she was a kid, and David who died when he escaped his country 4 years ago. She only wants a better future for her daughter.
THREAT: A soldier sees David helping release the “traitors” and is about to snitch, David chokes him out. David is hiding the body of the guard he killed, they’ll have to make the operation sooner, people suspect.
ACT 4 :
DANGER: Rich gets informed on Davids’s problem. he gets mad and accelerates the operation, Victoria recognizes her lost husband as the infiltrated person. She stays quiet.
HOPE: Victoria wants to be part of the operation. Rich doesn’t like this but accepts.
THREAT: While preparing the reunion where all big shots will be administering the dose. He sees Victoria in the cameras at the border killing. Rich, Victoria, and all the militia are wanted and identified now.
TICKING CLOCK: The president is fuming and orders tens of raids without any leads and with the help of the narco militia.
THREAT: David informs they have their pictures and are looking for them. Do not get close to the government building. (Communication via morse code on an old radio that can only transmit knocks and reaches the operation HQ.)
HOPE: Victoria gets inside the government building via a cleaning truck with a mask and fake ID’. Diego helps her get inside, he dresses up as a cleaning man.
FEAR: she almost gets caught at the entrance, they don’t recognize her. (They have an old radio made out of plastic not recognizable in the metal detector. they communicate via morse knocking.)
HOPE: Victoria and David meet, they can’t hug or fight (Victoria’s desire) because they are surrounded by cameras, they talk with their eyes and exchange the package. She touches her hands and asks him to scratch his nose. Trust me please, she starts the timer, it has 10 other timers ready to go.
TICKING CLOCK: David will have a heart attack in 2 hours, he has to die, so Victoria has to be with him to give him the antidote so he survives.
THREAT: Victoria recognizes several people holding cameras as being part of the revolution. Rich is disguised as a photographer.
DANGER: David prepares everything each dose is administered via dust, he and all the other infiltrated put a small dosage near each person until they all touch their nose, eyes or mouth, they report the confirmation when each person ingests it, infiltrated cameramen and photographers take pictures and video as a confirmation. Victoria, outside of the room as a cleaning lady gets feedback and start the timers.
The announcement will be of the president, all the big shots will be there to be in the same room and show support of the operation “kill terrorist”, with the help of civil people (narco militia). The media will be there too.
HOPE: The public message end and they go to a press room to attend questions individually.
THREAT: The president and the secretary of state haven’t ingested the dose.
HOPE: David puts everything on the line and shakes hands with the secretary of state, and yawns to share the yawn with his boss, it works he yaws and touches his eyes.
THREAT: The president is walking in the corridor followed by media taking pictures. Victoria as a cleaning lady, drops a broom. The president, on his only show of empathy (so the media takes pictures of his good actions), reaches out and helps get the broom up, the broom has the dose. He looks at her and smiles, getting contaminated. Victoria starts the last timer.
HOPE: Victoria and David hide, they talk briefly, and everyone is happy. Victoria is close to David hiding, with the antidote ready.
THREAT: David is called by the secretary of state. Victoria times the first death. The secretary of state reacts furiously and when he is going to look for the president he faints in the corridor, and the press takes pictures.
THREAT: the president calls the media into the room and takes out the importance of the situation with a joke. He gets informed something privately, he continues with his press and takes questions, this is being transmitted live. He gets interrupted again, he is noticeably nervous and sweats a lot. He gets interrupted again and he loses it. Starts screaming to everyone and suddenly faints. Pictures are taken and video finds his face as he is trembling on the floor.
CHAOS: A couple of ministers enter the room and fall. There is chaos, all the press runs all over the place.
HOPE: In the middle of the chaos Victoria is administering the antidote to people that were not targeted, others leave their cameras and start helping people. David is dying, in the corridor, they take pictures of him. He is revived and tells Victoria he recognized their house, Victoria understands Rich ordered the raid on her house putting Sara in danger.
Victoria and David find Rich sitting in the president’s chair and is fainting. Rich is happy and asks Victoria for the antidote, but she denies it, she found out the real plan for him being president and thinks he is the same as the one already dead in the other room. Rich dies. Victoria has hidden she talked to Rich’s assistant a well-prepared man, who is not like Rich, she didn’t administer the antidote to anyone close to Rich but kept alive anyone close to Diego.
David and Victoria escape through the chaos and they talk. David explains why he had to disappear 4 years ago. Victoria is mad at him but then she understands. Victoria explains why he let Rich die. They go out of the city to meet with Sara.
HOPE Her face illuminates when she sees them. David is happy.
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Gustavo’s 4 Act Structure
What I learned doing this assignment is things are moving well, and structure is helping me expand the story.
Create a first draft of your 4 Act Structure.
1. Tell us the following:
Concept: 2 top-tier microbiologists that are escaping their lawless country, get caught and put into a prisoner transport vehicle, they soon discover they are the missing piece to an operation that could free their homeland.
Main Conflict: While trying to escape your country you are forced to return and be part of a dangerous operation to regain control of it.
Act 1:
Opening: Dan and Victoria prepare to escape their country, they leave their daughter with their grandmother.
Inciting Incident: Their driver gets killed by the border patrol after they find out he is transporting immigrants, they have to escape into the forest nearby after bullets start to fly
Turning Point: After a couple of days of traveling, Dan and Victoria get ambushed and trapped in a prison vehicle with Rich.
Act 2:
New plan: Rich shares his immigration story with Dan and Victoria, they do the same, but they are focused on escaping from this cell and continuing their journey.
Plan in action: They get very close to escaping the cell, Rich uncovers he is lying and is under control of the operation and is part of the revolution. He wants their research to develop a weapon to kill a narco leader, a friend of the president. He threatens them to kidnap their daughter if they don’t join.
Midpoint Turning Point: As they follow Rich and his armed soldiers, Dan escapes, tells Victoria to trust in him.
Act 3:
Rethink everything: Victoria doesn’t understand why Dan escaped alone. They take her to the place they discovered the organism, but she can’t find it.
New plan: Dan kills Rich’s soldiers using the organism as a weapon. Rich regains control and is thrilled by what he saw, sociopathic behavior. Dan and Victoria accept to help Rich on killing the narco leader.
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: Rich shows his true nature by killing border officials to re-enter the country. (He just found out the government found and killed a big group of revolutionaries.) Rich fuelled by hate show the real operation, he wants to kill all the head positions in the government and reinstate himself as president. Dan and Victoria refuse to do this and are put in a cell.
Act 4:
Final plan: Dan and Victoria set a security protection for the use of the organism, Rich has to free them. He manipulates them showing them they are very organized, financed by external money, and they have everything in place to take control of the country. Dan recognizes David, his lost brother.
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: With the help of David, the operation is a success, they manage to slowly kill all the big shots in the government.
Resolution: Dan and Victoria kill Rich and strategically put David as the new major candidate
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Gustavo’s Delivering Multiple Layers!
What I learned doing this assignment is that it’s easier to put together the ideas using these techniques and see the structure from above.
LOCATION LAYER
Surface Layer: Our main characters get trapped in a prison vehicle.
Beneath That: It’s controlled by a revolutionary militia led by Rich
How Revealed: After Rich tries to manipulate them into joining the revolution, he reveals he is the leader and needs them to kill the president and his board.
PLOT LAYER
Surface Layer: Dan and Victoria follow through with the plan and join the revolution
Beneath That: AFter they carry out the freedom cleansing, Dan and Victoria decide to kill Rich
How Revealed: At the end, Rich reveals he is the true successor, but he has already ingested the organisms, and he dies
CHARACTER LAYER
Surface Layer: David is a close advisor to the secretary of state
Beneath That: David is part of the Revolution party
How Revealed: He saves “traitors” from being killed and then helps kill the higher up
PLOT LAYER
Surface Layer: Dan has been looking for his lost brother who immigrated to another country for years
Beneath That: Dan had to disappear and have a new name so he could join the revolution and help from the inside of the government
How Revealed: Dan and David see each other at the government palace and recognize the birthmark on their neck they both have
CHARACTER LAYER:
Surface Layer: Dan wants to escape his country
Beneath That: He needs to go and be sure his brother is not alive where he last had communication with him
How Revealed: Dan decides to leave Victoria and continue his way.
CHARACTER LAYER:
Surface Layer: Victoria is convinced she has to escape her country to find a new life elsewhere
Beneath That: She has always wanted to revenge on her parents and join the Revolution party
How Revealed: She joins the revolution
PLAT LAYER
Surface Layer: They discovered an amazing organism capable of unique things, that is found uniquely in one place in the middle of the forest. They decide to scrap the project and destroy evidence. Dan thinks it’s too risky for humans to find out about this. Victoria kept one paper on the research
Beneath That: The organism is capable of killing a human if ingested, if it gets out, it could potentially destroy humanity
How Revealed: Rich needs this organism to kill the high-ups from the government that are destroying the country but at the same time there is a high risk of global contamination
CHARACTER LAYER:
Surface Layer: Rich is an immigrant that got caught but then reveals he is the leader of the revolution and needs their help
Beneath That: He secretly prepared everything for him to be the next president
How Revealed: After the kill, he sits in the president’s chair and looks at everyone, Victoria and Dan smile as he slowly starts having a heart attack.
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Gustavo’s Character Journeys!
What I learned doing this assignment is that these techniques are helping me to form my characters, it’s also showing me where should put more work on. I like how the piece are getting together.
DAN
Beginning: He’s preparing his bag, research gadgets like a little lab put together in a small bag, says goodbye to his daughter, and leaves with Victoria, they are leaving their home and country. He feels cold inside but doesn’t show.
Turning Point: He gets trapped by the police and put into the prisoner transport with Victoria and Rich
Midpoint: While in the vehicle Rich manages to get Dan’s and Victoria’s stories and fuel their hate towards their oppressor government. He remembers why his brother left the country and some context on their work and the discovery of the organism.
Turning Point 2: The vehicle stops, Rich uncovers and they have to choose to continue or join the revolution. Dan continues fueled by the need for closure of his lost brother
Dilemma: Stay with Victoria and fight or get closure on his brother’s death.
3rd Act Climax: He comes back and helps the operation be successful, meets with David
Ending: Dan and Victoria decide they have to kill Rich and promote David into power, taking control of the revolution
VICTORIA
Beginning: She says goodbye to Sara and her grandmother and leaves their home. She takes the only picture with her parents.
Turning Point: She gets trapped by the police and put into the prisoner transport with Dan and Rich
Midpoint: While in the vehicle Rich manages to get Dan’s and Victoria’s stories and fuel their hate towards their oppressor government. She remembers her parents and how they disappeared and the pain she felt when leaving her daughter.
Turning Point 2: The vehicle stops, Rich uncovers and they have to choose to continue or join the revolution and that he knows where her daughter and grandmother are. Victoria decides to join the revolution.
Dilemma: Follow Dan and never know if what Rich is saying is true or join the revolution
3rd Act Climax: She can’t find the organism until Dan returns and helps. The operation is a success.
Ending: Dan and Victoria decide they have to kill Rich and promote David into power, taking control of the revolution
RICH
Beginning: He is one of the immigrants from the group and seems to always be first and alert, He gives water and food to everyone that needs it and helps along the way
Turning Point: He gets trapped with Dan and Victoria and lies about who he is, making up stories to create empathy and trust with Dan and Victoria
Midpoint: He finds out about Dan’s and Victoria’s stories and has them cooked until they share they’ll never go back to the country, they are focused
Turning Point 2: Rich has to uncover the truth about the revolution and threat them that he know where her daughter is. Dan doesn’t want to collaborate and they go their separate ways. Victoria persuades him she can do it alone
Dilemma: Kill the menace and let him become one
3rd Act Climax: The operation is a success
Ending: Dan and Victoria kill him with the organism, and he loses control of the revolution
DAVID
Beginning: He sits in the advisory board of the president and gets to know how things are run there, we learn about the narco collaborations, the plans of seclusions and how to avoid revolutions to happen
Turning Point: He is very trustworthy to the secretary of state so much he is trusted to kill some revolutionaries they found, they’ll make everything very gruesome to send a message.
Midpoint: David figures out a plan to release these revolutionaries while still having bodies as if they killed them
Turning Point 2: David is always avoiding social situations or making friends, he has a lot to lose if everything goes sideways
Dilemma: He knows Rich is a bad apple but knows he is the only option as a solution.
3rd Act Climax: He is a key part of making the operation a success. He finds his brother Dan.
Ending: Rich dies and he becomes the future president without him asking for it.
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Gustavo Character Depth!
What I learned doing this assignment is that some characters are easier to write than others but once you find the base everything flows nicely.
Internal Character Depth: DAN
- Motivation: He wants to find a new life, make money and help bring her daughter back. He needs to build a new life outside his country
- Secret: He secretly wants to go to a place he and his lost brother designated as safe when he decided to escape his country. The organism they discovered is capable of terrible things
- Wound: He lost his brother when he decided to leave the country, he has never healed.
- Subtext: He doesn’t share this with his wife
- Layers: He is secretly always wanted to find a way to free his country from the government but he has never had the courage. He uses his work as a liberating space to not do anything against the problem.
- Conflict: He wants to keep going, she doesn’t
- Hidden Agenda: Find his lost brother
- Dilemma: Wants to stay with Victoria but needs to bring closure to his lost brother. To use a secret killing organism or let your country keep getting worse.
Internal Character Depth: VICTORIA
- Motivation: Find a new life and bring daughter back.
- Secret: She has always wanted to be part of the revolution but always put her family first
- Wound: Lost her parents at a young age because they were accused of revolutionaries
- Subtext: She hides behind a strong personality and courage leaving her grandmother and young daughter was the hardest thing she has ever done. She hates that this is their only option left
- Layers: She wants to revenge on her parents. She knows the stakes are high if they release this organism
- Conflict: She wants to go back but Dan wants to continue.
- Hidden Agenda: Revenge on her parents
- Dilemma: Wants to stay with Dan but needs to bring closure to his lost brother. To use a secret killing organism or let your country keep getting worse.
- She continues research when they find the organism, Dan was against but she convinces her
- Secret Identity: secretly she is a revolutionary
Internal Character Depth RICH
- Motivation: wants to put into place his plan to knock down the current oppressive government
- Secret: He secretly wants to take control, he wants power and a personal vendetta on the current president.
- Wound: All his family disappeared, is alone in the world
- Subtext: He fakes being another inmigrant and organizes everything so he can have time to convince and manipulate Dan and Victoria
- Layers: He is willing to do everything to get what he wants. He does care about the people but is fuelled by revenge and hate.
- Conflict: He needs both of them, Dan gets away
- Hidden Agenda: To take control, he wants power
- Conspiracy: He has a plan to kill the government officials with a silent organism that only Dan and Victoria know how to manage.
- Intrigue: He kidnaps the grandmother that is taking care of Sara to convince Dan and Victoria.
- Dilemma: How to take down a corrupt government without starting a civil war?
- Secret Identity: Leader of the revolution.
Internal Character Depth PRESIDENT
- Motivation: Power and oppression, do whatever is necessary to maintain control of the country
- Secret: He is controlled by his advisory board
- Wound: He never was listened a loser, not important but ideal to be a puppet
- Subtext: He hides his fear that he’ll lose power
- Layers: He disappears people who might be part of the revolution. The witch hunt gets worse and worse with his decisions, the country gets isolated and everything plummets, he can’t do anything but instead of trying to figure out what is happening he makes it worse and isolates the country. He makes alliances with drug cartels and helps them proliferate.
- Conflict: By his command, he has killed “traitors” and with oppression the country plummets so people have to escape.
- Hidden Agenda: Maintain power, because they are like that because everyone else turns their backs on them
- Conspiracy: He is obsessed with destroying the revolution, he joins forces with the narco to find traitors and keep him safe.
- Secret Identity: a puppet
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Gustavo’s Right Characters
What I learned from doing this assignment is: it was an interesting exercise, it took my current ideas and pushed me to form a story based on characters alone. I had to build their backstory and try to tangle them together so it made sense.
Hook: What would happen if you gave superpowers to people that had to leave their homes and loved ones?
Contained setting: 3 immigrants are held together in a room where they get superpowers tested on them
With each of your main characters, how can they uniquely fit with the Hook?
- Steve wants to get out no matter what is desperate and has anxiety attacks.
- Sebastian is the most empathic and calm, tries to unite the group and find solutions
- Rich is depressed and is convinced they got trapped by the official migration officers.
Thinking about the conflict that Hook creates, how does each main character enhance or cause that conflict?
After they find out they have already met before in conflicting scenarios, they start to fight. After they almost kill each other, tensions back down and start figuring out how to get out, and what this place is.
- Steve discovers Rich was part of the police raid that took down his company. He attended a protest Rich beat him up.
- Sebastian finds out Steve didn’t give him a job in his company and Rich beat him up in a protest he attended.
- Rich, finds out he has beaten up both of these guys and was partly involved in their decision to leave the country.
Tell us what makes these characters the “right ones” for this story?
It has an arc, they are different but ended up in the same situation. They figure out that if they work together they might get out of this situation.
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Gustavo’s Great Hook!
How did this process work for you?
I actually was surprised at where it took me, I thought I had a decent concept, but after the brainstorming the discoveries were great. I enjoyed the creative process of this lesson.
B. What did you learn doing this assignment?
I’ll definitely try this for other ideas I have, it felt great to decompose the concept and find new paths for the story. I felt it also helped me shape out the characters and a possible outline.
IDEA 3
3 young immigrants that are escaping their country, get trapped in a lab after discovering the existence of an unknown being, they soon discover each day they wake up with a different superpower
A. Contained Environment: lab where they are fed and observed how they interact
B. Contained Characters: 3 young immigrants who spent all their savings to find better opportunities in another country
C. Difficult Situation: trapped after they discover the existence of an unknown being, they have the time factor, they need to send money back to their family soon, and they spent every dollar to pay the coyote
D. Reason for the Containment: they are being experimented with
A. Intriguing Contained Setting: a lab of an unknown entity, that provides unique superpowers each day.
B. Unique Device: something controls this and gives them superpowers
C. Unique Monster/Villain: the unknown entity that has them trapped in this lab
D. Mystery: why were these people put together in a place where they could kill each other with the superpowers they wake up each day What superpower will they get tomorrow? Why are they getting these superpowers? Who is behind this?
E. Impossible goal/Unsolvable problem: how do they get out of this place? when they are fighting each other
F. Unique layers: 3 young immigrants who slowly find out they are the cause of each other’s decision to leave the country because of things they did indirectly to each other
Having to do with immigrant movies, what haven’t we seen before?
Put together different strangers that hate each other and give them superpowers
See the real human desperation and capability to adapt and find solutions
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Gustavo’s Guidelines for Last Night in Soho
What I learned doing this assignment is that some big studio movies spend so much money on scenes that don’t add a significant amount of value to the story, these scenes add pretty much just to the visuals, which is important, but the story should definitely be the priority.
TITLE: Last Night in Soho
AS THEY DID IT:
A. People: two main actresses, 10 supporting roles, and a large group of extras
B. Stunts: one scene where a man gets run over by a car and the fire scene
C. Extras: Dance scene, school scene, bar, street in the night, club
D. Wardrobe: Plain clothes, masks for the “ghosts” and 60’s theme clothes
E. Hair and Make Up: 60’s themed hair and makeup, kill scene with blood
F. Kids and Animals: none
G. Quarantine: large amounts of extras throughout the movie.
COVID GUIDELINE VERSION:
A. People: 2 main actresses and reduce to 4 supporting actors. Maintain a more internal characters journey with more up close camera positions and cut wide shots.
B. Stunts: the run over scene can be more suggestive and the fire scene less graphic
C. Extras: Cut scenes with crowds and keep it to the minimum and just the necessary extras
D. Wardrobe: reduce to the minimum the necessary wardrobe
E. Hair and Make Up: resolve with wigs and simple makeup
F. Kids and Animals: none
G. Quarantine: Reducing and cutting wide shots that only provide context to the 60’s time period and crowded scenes to reduce complex locations.
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Gustavo Cosenza
I agree to the terms of this release form.
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
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1. Gustavo Cosenza from Costa Rica, I took the ProSeries course in 2018.
2. Around 4-5 feature-length scripts.
3. I would love to refresh concepts and rediscover my writing.
4. My first film was released theatrically last January in Costa Rica, we are currently being represented by our sales agent in markets worldwide. It was a fantastic experience, I enjoyed the whole process so much. I want to start the next project asap.