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H.G. MIDDLEMASS

Member
January 19, 2023 at 6:23 am in reply to: Introduce Yourself to the Group
I’m H.G. Middlemass. I’ve written two Features and three TV Pilots along with three TV Pitch Bibles. I just finished Screenwriting U’s “Binge Worthy TV” class about four months ago and it lasted over six months. It was a lot of work but I got more out of that class than any other class or seminar I’ve taken or screenwriting book I’ve read since I began writing screenplays. What I hope to get out of this class is a better understanding of the framework of the “Action” genre. My goal is to create an Action movie with the believability of “Ronin” or “Heat” with great story-telling like “The Fugitive” or “Die Hard”.
- This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by H.G. MIDDLEMASS.
H.G. MIDDLEMASS

Member
January 19, 2023 at 5:38 am in reply to: Confidentiality Agreement

H.G. Middlemass: “I agree to the terms of this release form.”
H.G. MIDDLEMASS

Member
May 11, 2022 at 4:41 am in reply to: Day 10 Assignments
Mod 3 – Lesson 10: Create a Beat Sheet. Title: KILLER JOB

Concept: Verna Williams is a blue-collar, middle-aged woman with a life-threatening disease and an unlikely contender when she competes for a very lucrative corporate job against twelve other more qualified candidates. Killer Job takes place at a remote, isolated facility in the desert using a vetting process never-before-seen in the corporate world. In a one-of-a-kind competition to become the Vice President of Special Services, thirteen “unsupervised” candidates will be tested for one month to see how far they are willing to go to win the coveted job but this is no Reality Show!

Inciting Incident for Series: There is no internet, no cell service, no staff and no contact with the outside world for thirty days. Their only means of communication is a Panic Button, however, if it’s pressed, no matter what the reason, everyone is disqualified! But the situation becomes harrowing when the body of Karen Hodges is found in her bathroom. Cracked skull, wet floor, tranquilizers on the night stand and no way to call for help, the group decides to press “The Button”. Verna refuses to risk “group disqualification” and threatens to kill the first person who tries to press the button!

A Story: The competition to win the job of VP of Special Services. Focus on Verna Williams.

B Story: The other main characters and supporting characters.

C Story: The mysteries and intrigue of the facility, the corporation, the job itself and various alliances and conspiracies.

Teaser

EXT. APT BLDG – DAY

A luxury apartment building in Santa Monica near the Pacific.

INT. HALLWAY – DAY

A dark hallway in same upscale apt bldg. A middle-aged black woman, Verna Williams, creeps along the dimly lit hallway looking around. Expression a mix of bewilderment and apprehension. She sees a door, stops, looks up and down hallway.

She pulls out a leather case from her pocket, unzips it. We see and assortment of lock picking tools and she proceeds to ply the door.

INT. APT – DAY

Slipping into the apartment, the nautical and diving theme décor was not expected. Verna looks around but moves slowly without urgency. Opening a drawer she finds clothes and a fancy watch but doesn’t take it. She opens a closet but we don’t see inside. The strange expression on her face indicates she’s found something that doesn’t belong in such a place\

ACT I

INT. OFFICE – DAY

I GAVE UP ON TRYING TO EDIT THIS MUCH TEXT IN THE FORUM. THERE IS A SERIOUS FLAW IN THE COPY AND PASTE FUNCTION IN THIS FORUM. THE SAME PROBLEM OCCURS “EVERY TIME”.

I TRIED DIFFERENT COMMON FONTS…..TIMES NEW ROMAN, ARIAL, CALIBRI…….I TRIED DIFFERENT FORMATS: DEFAULT, TEXT BODY, HEADING….. BUT NOTHING WORKS. EVERY MODULE AND FORUM THE SAME PROBLEM OCCURS.

PLEASE HAVE YOUR IT PERSON FIX THIS……IT SHOULD NOT BE THIS DIFFICULT.

Start with Verna at interview, she’s asked about criminal record and says not much is there. 

TWO WEEKS LATER

EXT. VACANT CORPORATE RESORT – DAY

Nevada desert. Broiling Sun beats down on a vast, barren emptiness as far as the eye can see.

No water, No trees, No escape from the scorching heat.

A large, single story tan building. Looking at the front, it’s thick and solid. A vacant office building or an ugly hotel built in the middle of nowhere. Dead. Still. Hot. 

In fact, it’s so hot we see a heat mirage shimmering off the roof. Faintly, noise is heard. It’s indecipherable at first but it sounds like muffled shouting is coming from the building.

They arrive blindfolded and dressed in business attire at facility. Remove blindfolds and exit the van. Some check their phones, no signal. 

ACT I

INT. OFFICE – DAY 

Start with Verna at interview, she’s asked about criminal record and says not much is there. 

TWO WEEKS LATER

EXT. VACANT CORPORATE RESORT – DAY

Nevada desert. Broiling Sun beats down on a vast, barren emptiness as far as the eye can see.

No water, No trees, No escape from the scorching heat.

A large, single story tan building. Looking at the front, it’s thick and solid. A vacant office building or an ugly hotel built in the middle of nowhere. Dead. Still. Hot. 

In fact, it’s so hot we see a heat mirage shimmering off the roof. Faintly, noise is heard. It’s indecipherable at first but it sounds like muffled shouting is coming from the building.

They arrive blindfolded and dressed in business attire at facility. Remove blindfolds and exit the van. Some check their phones, no signal. 

EXT/INT. CORPORATE RESORT – DAY

Enter vacant bldg go thru metal detector. 

All electronic devices are confisicated and placed in a safe. Gretchen protests. 

Suitcases are searched by shuttle drivers. 

INT. VARIOUS COMMON AREAS – DAY

Brief Character introductions. 

Mr. Gray & masked handlers give candidates tour. Lobby. Common areas. Training Room. Kitchen. Dinning area. Points down corridors toward bedrooms. 

The facility is as comfortable as a resort hotel. The candidates look visabily happy about their accomodations.

Mr. Gray warns candidates of extreme heat and tells them it’s 50 miles from anything. Tells them that in precisely ten minutes they will watch a video about the rules. He says it’s last chance to leave with him and then leaves.

TURNING POINT – Masked man in Video explains all the rules and ends with the ominous warning in low menacing voice – if they press the “Panic Button” they are ALL Disqualified!

ACT II

INT. MEETING LOUNGE – DAY

The candidates all look surprised by the tone of the video and seriousness of the Panic Button and they discuss it briefly with each other, then roll their suitcases to their rooms.

INT. HALLWAYS/BEDROOMS – DAY

Each of the thirteen candidates are shown finding their rooms. Some insight into who the characters are will be seen by personal items they unpack. 

INT. MEETING LOUNGE – DAY

Questions arise from group about bizarre setting and weird format of training.

Characters are properly introduced.

Verna reveals her serious health issues.

Karen askes if she’s met Lili before causing Lili to look put-off and she snaps she was VP of a medical supply company, in an imperious tone she says she can’t remember all employees. 

TURNING POINT – The tone changes from lighthearted meeting of the candidates to Karen Hodges turning into an Ogre. She says: Tell us about the worst thing you’ve ever done in your life and there is no set of steak knives for second prize if you lie……..you’re fired! 

ACT III

INT. MEETING LOUNGE – DAY

Karen’s demeanor changes from friendly to overbearing as she becomes an Inquisitor during the confessions…..a – Cult leader, sociopathic bully.

Karen berates Satish after he confesses.

Karen chastises Gretchen. 

Karen videos Ira smoking in bedroom and puts him on report.

Conchita mocks Gretchen

TURNING POINT – Verna is shown sneaking into off-limits hallway in direct violation of the rules read by Karen. But the door at the other end is locked.

ACT IV

INT. DINING AREA – NIGHT

Karen reveals a secret to Ginny and Fabio.

Karen angers Bobby Joe.

INT. MEETIN LOUNGE/HALLWAY – DAY

The group is assembled and waiting for Karen. Nobody looks happy after yesterday’s berating by her. Why is she late? Conchita volunteers to get her.

Conchita knocks on Karen’s door but when there is no answer she reports to the group that she’s not answering.

Half the group goes to her room. Ira kicks in the door.

INT. BEDROOM – DAY

They yell her name but there’s no repsonse. Gretchen walks into bathroom and screams when she finds the body. Sam and Jake examine the body. Cracked skull, wet floor, tranquilizers on the night stand leaves the group in disarray. 

TURNING POINT – Death of Karen Hodges. 

ACT V

INT. MEETING LOUNGE – DAY

Confusion and stress reign as the candidates grapple with the death.

The debate over using the panic button causes shouting and chaos. 

Verna’s had enough of the drama and leaves the group.

INT. OFF LIMITS AREA – DAY

Verna walks down a corridor to a set of double doors marked as offlimits. She looks around, nobody’s watching and she doesn’t see and security cameras. 

She’s surprised to find them unlocked so she goes through. This leads into another hallway and she hears the low hum of machinery. The door at the end is locked, she pickes it and enters a stairwell.

She descends four flights of stairs.

REPEAT TEASER

A dark hallway – Verna creeps along the dimly lit hallway looking around. Expression a mix of bewilderment and apprehension. 

She sees a door, stops, looks up and down hallway.

She pulls out a leather case from her pocket, unzips it. We see and assortment of lock picking tools and she proceeds to ply the door .

INT. APT – DAY 

Slipping into the apartment, the nautical and diving theme décor was not expected. Verna looks around but moves slowly without urgency. Opening a drawer she finds clothes and a fancy watch but doesn’t take it. She opens a closet but we don’t see inside of it. The strange expression on her face indicates she’s found something that doesn’t belong in such a place.

Repeat teaser showing Verna finding hidden room opens closet door finds diving mask, flippers, wetsuit. She unzips case looks inside but we don’t see what’s inside.

INT. MEETING LOUNGE – DAY

Nobody notices Verna slipped past the chaos and is sitting low in a corner chair when they start the vote, Jake’s yes vote mean’s majority agrees to push the button until someone notices Verna didn’t vote. 

The group turns to see Verna blocking the panic button, she’s holding a speargun.

TURNING POINT – Verna threatens to Kill first person who tries to press button!

END OF EPISODE
- This reply was modified 3 years ago by H.G. MIDDLEMASS.
- This reply was modified 3 years ago by H.G. MIDDLEMASS.
- This reply was modified 3 years ago by H.G. MIDDLEMASS.
H.G. MIDDLEMASS

Member
May 6, 2022 at 7:30 pm in reply to: Day 9 Assignments
Mod 3 – Lesson 9: Setups For Future Episodes

What I learned doing this assignment…..the process of set-ups for the future is actually fun when you have already built a solid foundation in the BW framework.

The name of the company that hired them is really a front for a large conglomerate, why?

How will alliances and conspiracies amongst the candidates play-out given that they are all competing for the same job?

The isolated location, unique facility and no staff.

Initially, Verna is shown to be the least qualified candidate but early in the season it becomes apparent that few of the candidates are VP material, so why were “they” selected to compete?

The bizarre method of training and competition.

What is the reason for off-limits areas and undergrounds tunnels?

Verna finds an underground luxury apartment with outdated styling and personal photos on the walls and items in the drawers, why is it there?

What will be the “true nature” of the job VP of Special Services since each candidate was given a different job description during the initial interview?

The “Accidental Death” of Karen Hodges in the Pilot proves to be murder in episode 3 so how will that knowledge effect the behavior of the remaining candidates?
- This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by H.G. MIDDLEMASS.
H.G. MIDDLEMASS

Member
May 5, 2022 at 5:31 pm in reply to: Day 7 Assignments

Mod 3 – Lesson 7: Mysteries and Open Loops

1. Look through your current outline and find opportunities for at least 5 Open Loops and 5 Mysteries either in the plot or about the characters.

List them like this:

Main Mysteries:

Who is the corporation that hired the candidates?

What method was used to choose the final 13 and why?

Why is the training facility so remote?

Why is there no staff to supervise training?

What reason did they build secret tunnels for?

Main Open Loops:

What will be the true nature of the job?

How will the winner be selected?

How can Verna beat the other “more qualified” candidates?

What will happen if they press the Panic Button?

What will happen if they “Don’t” press the Panic Button?

Who is the killer among them?
H.G. MIDDLEMASS

Member
April 20, 2022 at 6:30 am in reply to: Day 1 Assignments
What I learned doing this assignment….Outlining is essential to writing a Binge Worthy series.

SERIES INFO: Killer Job

World: A remote, isolated facility in the desert using a vetting process never-before-seen in the corporate world.

Main mystery: What is the enigmatic job of VP of Special Services “really” about?

Impossible Goal: To beat the other twelve candidates and win the job.

Main Conflict: The competition against the others to win the job but with a killer among them.

Second Mystery: Who is the corporation Nebularkin and why the bizarre vetting process?

Season 1 Arc: Thirteen candidates start but only eight candidates survive, the killer is revealed and the dark corporate vetting secret is revealed.

Season 1 Protagonist Internal Journey: From desperation and nothing to lose to having a chance at winning the job but with deteriorating physical and mental health.

PILOT INFO: “Panic Button”

Pilot Conflict: Does the group use the Panic Button to report the accidental death of a candidate and risk group disqualification of everyone?

Main Characters Introduced: Verna, Jake, Lili, Fabio, Gretchen, Satish

Inciting Incident of Season 1: When the body of Karen Hodges is found the group votes to put her corpse in the walk-in freezer for ten days and continue the competition.
- This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by H.G. MIDDLEMASS.
H.G. MIDDLEMASS

Member
April 13, 2022 at 6:45 am in reply to: Day 11 Assignments
What I learned from doing this process…..is the Pitch Bible must go through many, many drafts and each time it does, it gets incrementally better. I still need to work more on Characters, Episodes and Seasons but Concept, Unique World and Summary are all very polished. When creating the best sentence or paragraph you can, it gives a feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment.

The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter – ’tis the difference between the lightning-bug and the lightning.

Mark Twain
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H.G. MIDDLEMASS

Member
April 11, 2022 at 9:08 pm in reply to: Day 10 Assignments
What I learned doing this assignment…..Sequence of Titles Tells A Story. I never considered that as part of a marketing strategy for the Pitch Bible. Here are the Episode Titles I have so far:

Title: Killer Job

Logline: Thirteen candidates compete for an enigmatic corporate job at a remote desert location but when one of them is found dead, everybody has something to hide, nobody is who they say they are and a half-million annual is at stake!

Episode 1.1: Panic Button

Episode 1.2: Welcome to Nebularken

Episode 1.3: Hidden Room

Episode 1.4: Wolf in The Flock

Episode 1.5: The Most Likely Candidate

Episode 1.6: Panic Sets-In

Episode 1.7: The Mole Comes Out

Episode 1.8: Group Implosion

Episode 1.9: VP of Special Services

Episode 1.10: Nebularken’s Dark Secret
- This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by H.G. MIDDLEMASS.
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H.G. MIDDLEMASS

Member
April 9, 2022 at 6:06 am in reply to: Day 9 Assignments

What I learned doing this assignment…..set-ups and payoffs can function a little differently in that the “payoff” can continue to generate mystery, intrigue and instead of a “Closed Loop” answer of a “traditional” payoff, by using an Open Loop it will keep the reader/audience engaged and ultimately obsessed to keep watching the entire series. Changes I’ve made so far are in my Concept and Unique World. I will continue to improve and still need to work on my Summary, Characters, Episodes and Seasons. But the beauty of the process is I now have plenty of material and ideas to continually make it more intriguing.
H.G. MIDDLEMASS

Member
April 7, 2022 at 9:13 pm in reply to: Day 7 Assignments
What I learned doing this assignment is…by using 5 tools of “Investigation”, it allows many more story-line possibilities, more ideas, better ideas and over a season opens hundreds of possibilities.

For any parts where there is a substantial improvement, rewrite those parts of the TV Pitch Bible. Then, tell us what parts you changed and give a quick description of what you did. I did not rewrite any parts thus far but I came up with many more ideas for each episode in season one. I also used the method to a lesser extent on a few characters and will continue to do so.
- This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by H.G. MIDDLEMASS.
H.G. MIDDLEMASS

Member
April 7, 2022 at 8:12 pm in reply to: Day 6 Assignments
What I learned doing this assignment is…There are three different versions of the opening summary: PILOT AS INCITING INCIDENT, HIGHLIGHTS OF ENTIRE SEASON, ENGAGE US IN THE MAIN MYSTERY. I chose Pilot method.

Summary: Verna Williams is at the end of her rope. Unemployed, facing foreclosure and needing a liver transplant, she applies for a job too good to be true – Vice President of Special Services with a salary of half-million annual. When she’s selected as one of the final thirteen candidates, she knows she’s the most needy but the least qualified.

Arriving at the corporate facility, all electronic devices are confiscated and strict rules must be observed. The bizarre setting is fifty miles from anywhere. There is no internet, no cell service, no staff and no contact with the outside world for ten days. Their only means of communication is a Panic Button, however, if it’s pressed, no matter what the reason, everyone is disqualified!

The Pilot climaxes when a body of Karen Hodges is found in her bathroom. The death was accidental and surely this must be “thee” exception to pressing the Panic Button? Taking no chances, desperate and with nothing to lose, Verna threatens to kill the first person who tries!

Verna stands her ground and the season is underway when the group votes to put the body in the walk-in freezer for ten days and continue the competition. The rules will be enforced by the candidates themselves as they engage in a series of increasingly stressful “Corporate Games” to determine a winner.

As the season unfolds, it is revealed that the corporation is not what it seems and nobody really knows what the job entails. All bets are off when a second body is found and everybody realizes there’s a Killer among them!
- This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by H.G. MIDDLEMASS.
H.G. MIDDLEMASS

Member
April 7, 2022 at 7:50 pm in reply to: Day 4 Assignments
What I learned doing this assignment is…Because I already know how my season begins and ends I can figure-out the mysteries, layers and cliffhangers and then I can build the episodes to get from point A to point B.

Episode 1.1 – Panic Button:

Episode 1.2 – The Best Candidate:

Episode 1.3 – Satish

Episode 1.4 – Verna

Episode 1.5 – Jake

Episode 1.6 – Gretchen

Episode 1.7 – Fabio

Episode 1.8 – Ira

Episode 1.9 – Special Services:

Episode 1.10 – Killer Job:
- This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by H.G. MIDDLEMASS.
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H.G. MIDDLEMASS

Member
April 7, 2022 at 7:26 pm in reply to: Day 3 Assignments
What I learned doing this assignment is…I can start at end of series and work backwards or start at the beginning and work forward and I used a combination of both.

SEASON ONE: Panic Button” Thousands applied to a lucrative corporate job for half-million annual but only thirteen candidates were selected. Strange, but these thirteen seem very unlikely to have made it so far. But the corporation’s enigmatic procedures, methods of evaluation, remote setting, and the cryptic nature of the job itself is like no other corporate vetting process ever seen before! But more important than the story concept are the characters! In the beginning, every character is uncertain “if” they should use the panic button to report the deaths and risk disqualification of the group. Before it’s all over they will do anything and everything to win the job! The “Big Hook” at the end of season one is…..

SEASON TWO: Acquitted” Due to unbelievable circumstances at the Nevada facility and the fact that there was NO clear-cut winner, Nebularkin has decided to continue the vetting process for the six remaining candidates. However, seven new ones will be added. Now that we know ALL the candidates were “acquitted” in the deaths of others, we dig deeper into the characters and show their crimes throughout season two. The contest also moves to a “nearly identical” facility but instead of the Nevada desert it’s in the empty grasslands of Wyoming fifty miles from anywhere. The rules remain the same – no phones, no internet, no contact with outside world and pressing the Panic Button disqualifies EVERYONE. Clues are given that the VP of Special Services will lead “Operational Efficiency” and “Customer Service” leading some candidates to believe they have clear advantage. But……those are red herrings! The games and challenges for the candidates will be more difficult and intense. This time, the death of a candidate is known immediately for what it is – murder. But the stakes have been raised to 750 annual and no one is quitting! Another investigation and the Corporation is forced to move again.

SEASON THREE: TBD – Moves to Alaskan wilderness in Winter. New clues indicate the VP of Special Services will be in charge of Public Relations. By the end of season it appears for the job will handle PR for a controversial project to build a nuclear power plant close to major city.

SEASON FOUR: TBD – Moves to uninhabited Seguam island. New clues to what the VP of Special Services really is: Working directly for the enigmatic CEO Mr. Nebularkin.

SEASON FIVE: “Nebularkin” Moves to secure underground facility below corporate headquarters. End of series: Three candidates have made it because of their resilience, tenacity and determination the company has created two other roles along with the winner.
- This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by H.G. MIDDLEMASS.
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H.G. MIDDLEMASS

Member
March 31, 2022 at 8:26 pm in reply to: Day 2 Assignments
Character: Verna Williams

Role: The “most” unlikely candidate getting a chance to compete for a lucrative job.

Noteworthy traits: Clever. Resourceful. Paranoid.

Intriguing History: Owes 50K to a loan shark.

Intrigue: Experience as a lock-smith will be a great temptation to open off-limits rooms.

Mystery: What is the disturbing reason she needs a liver transplant?

Drive Conflict: Confronting other candidates and breaking rules.

Irony: Lost her job as a “Safety Instructor” by leaving her car in neutral and it rolled into traffic.

Intriguing Relationships: Ira Rameriz

An unemployed, middle-aged woman facing foreclosure needs a liver transplant to survive. What she lacks in formal education is made-up in “street smarts”. Clever, resourceful but suffering from paranoia, she is one of thirteen candidates competing for a corporate job. If Verna doesn’t get the job, her family will be homeless and she can’t afford the operation. She is compelled to do anything and everything to win the job against a dozen other hungry candidates!
- This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by H.G. MIDDLEMASS.
H.G. MIDDLEMASS

Member
March 31, 2022 at 7:44 pm in reply to: Day 1 Assignments

What I learned was the “Pitch Bible” should contain a minimum of: 1. CONCEPT/WORLD, 2. SUMMARY, 3. CHARACTERS, 4. EPISODES, 5. 5 SEASONS, 6. BINGEWORTHY

1. Concept

A blue-collar, middle-aged woman is an unlikely candidate when she competes for a lucrative corporate job. Unemployed and without health insurance, she needs a liver transplant to survive. Her struggle is not only physical – she’s also battling episodes of paranoid delusions affecting her judgment. Compounding these problems is the fact that the corporation and the job are not what they seem, everybody has something to hide, nobody is who they say they are and a half-million annual is at stake!

2. World of this Show

Unique World: A remote, isolated facility with an unheard of vetting process in the corporate world…..in a one-of-a-kind competition to become the Vice President of Special Services….that will test how far she and the others are willing to go to win the job.

Previously unexplored: Agatha Christie’s classic, “And Then There Were None”, is at an isolated setting but the characters are not engaged in direct competition for a very high-paying job. In “Killer Job”, the stakes are much greater, the characters fully developed and the conflict is direct and ongoing in every episode.

The Unknown: What is the actual job? Why did Nebularkin choose them? Why such a remote location?

The Unseen: Secret rooms and tunnels that are off-limits at the facility.

Unheard of Dangers: After the second death, it becomes obvious that the first death was not accidental and one of them is definitely a killer! Who is it?

Reason to explore it: Half Million annual salary for the winner and to see how a group of strangers will interact without supervision and strict rules to adhere to.
H.G. MIDDLEMASS

Member
March 22, 2022 at 7:23 am in reply to: Lesson 12 Assignments
Module 1.12

What I learned doing this process is…creating a “Binge Worthy Framework” is a working reference guide to help organize complexities of the characters and the layers of plot in order to make every episode engaging and stay true to the concept for multiple seasons.
- This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by H.G. MIDDLEMASS.
H.G. MIDDLEMASS

Member
March 18, 2022 at 6:56 am in reply to: Lesson 10 Assignments
Module 1.10 – Creating Intriguing Layers

Assignment 1: Mr. Robot

Plot Surface: Elliot Alderson is a vigilante hacker who works at Allsafe Cyber Security as a Cyber Security Specialist. He is tasked with saving Allsafe by saving their largest client, E-Corp, from a major hacker attack.

Layer 1: Sabotage: But instead of securing E-Corp’s server farm, Elliot installs his own back-door device so that he can access, control and bring down E-Corp’s network when he wants.

Layer 2: Conspiracy: Elliot joins a group of hackers known as fsociety and their mission is to bring down E-Corp by erasing ALL of their digital records thereby erasing all consumer debts.

Layer 3: Hidden Plan: Terrell Wellick is a VP of Technology at E-Corp he covets the CTO position with E-Corp but when he’s passed over he conspires with Elliot to bring them down.

Layer 4: Secret Agenda: An even more powerful hacker group known as the Dark Army is working with fsociety to pull-off their mission but their goals are enigmatic and they delay in helping fsociety. They are much more than a “Hacker Group”.
- This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by H.G. MIDDLEMASS.
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H.G. MIDDLEMASS

Member
March 17, 2022 at 10:59 pm in reply to: Lesson 11 Assignments
Module 1.11 Discovering Irony

What I learned doing this assignment is…..Irony is the opposite of what you expect. It appears to be one thing but it’s really something else. The 1973 Sci-Fi movie “Soylent Green” appears to be a miracle food but it turns out to be……..(disturbing)

Assignment 1 “Mr. Robot”

Elliot is sent by Allsafe to a Server Farm to protect the Servers of E-Corp from hackers but he is the ultimate hacker!

Mr. Robot begins as a confrontational ally but is eventually shown to be Elliot’s father.

Tyrell Wellick begins as an adversary but is really an ally.

Angela Moss hates E-Corp but winds-up working for them.

Assignment 2

My series “Perfect Candidate”.

Irony in the Plot:

1. All the candidates imagine the JOB they are competing for is one thing but it is not what anyone expects…..TBD….drives the series.

2. The corporation “Nebularkin” on the surface appears to be multi-national conglomerate but it is not what anyone expects…..TBD….drives the series.

3. The candidates seem like average people competing for a very lucrative corporate job but….these are not your average people…….revealed end of season 1.

Irony in the Characters:

1. Fabio Fernando – appears to be a charming person, he acts like a friend but is really a manipulative sociopath.

2. Jake Marlow – only person who knows one of the candidates is NOT who he/she says they are.

3. Verna Williams – Had a job as a “Safety Instructor” for the county school system but she put her car in neutral instead of park, causing the car to roll backwards down a hill into traffic, seriously injuring her mother and several others.
- This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by H.G. MIDDLEMASS.
H.G. MIDDLEMASS

Member
March 10, 2022 at 10:28 pm in reply to: Lesson 9 Assignments
Module 1.9 Open Loops

What I learned doing this assignment is…Open Loops are unanswered questions about the future of the plot and main characters. These questions compel viewers to obsess about the story and create a strong desire to binge watch.

Assignment 1: Make a list of the Big Picture open loops that were established early in the season. Mr. Robot –

Will fsociety actually implement the Super-Hack and erase all consumer debt?

What will be the consequences?

Will E-Corp discover that Elliott’s actions at their “Server Farm” allowed the Super-Hack to be possible?

What will be the consequences of Elliott’s mental health problems?

What will be the relationship between Elliott and Mr. Robot?

Assignment 2: Tell us your top 5-8 Big Picture Open Loops that could be in your pilot.

In the classic TV series, “Twin Peaks”, the Open Loop was Who killed Laura Palmer?

In my series, “Perfect Candidate”, it will be Who killed Karen Hodges?

Why were each of the candidates selected since none seem to fit a “corporate model” for a Vice President-level position?

What will happen to the protagonist, Verna Williams, if she doesn’t get the job?

What will happen to the other main characters since all of them desperately need the job?

Who is the corporation, Supreme Dynamics, really? Do they have some nefarious purpose?

And most importantly, the question to last the entire series….What exactly does the job of Vice President of Special Operations mean?

What does that role actually do?
- This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by H.G. MIDDLEMASS.
- This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by H.G. MIDDLEMASS.
H.G. MIDDLEMASS

Member
March 8, 2022 at 9:08 am in reply to: Lesson 8 Assignments
Module 1.8 Assignment 1:

Mr. Robot – Big Mysteries: Who is the Dark Army? What do they want? Will they cooperate? What is Tyrell’s end game and will he betray fsociety and Elliot to the FBI?

Smaller Mysteries: Will Fernando have Elliot killed? Will Tyrell get caught for the murder of Sharon Knowles? Will Angela put Allsafe out of business by her actions to make a deal with Colby to get him to testify?

Assignment 2:

Create two mysteries for your show — one that shows up strong in the Pilot and the other that is revealed over time.

My script titled: “The Perfect Candidate”

1. Create your Shocking Event Mystery and tell us the WWWWW and H, along with the part withheld.

A. Shocking Event: The murder of one of the candidates at the isolated corporate retreat.

B. Secret: ALL of the candidates are not what they seem.

C. Investigation: The candidates must figure who is the killer amongst them.

What does the dream corporate job really entail?

When will they find out who gets chosen?

Where will the job lead them?

Who is each one of them and what is their story?

Why were each of them selected when NONE of them seems a likely candidate?

How will each one of them try and win the job?

Part Withheld: The sordid past of each candidate.

2. Create the Over Time Mystery and tell us the WWWWW and H, along with the part withheld.

A. Cover up: The corporation is hiding many things.

B. Secret: ALL of the candidates are not what they seem.

C. Reveals: Clues about the candidates and the company and the “Dream Job” they are competing for.

WWWWW and How: Same as above,

Part Withheld: The sordid past of each candidate.
- This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by H.G. MIDDLEMASS.
H.G. MIDDLEMASS

Member
March 3, 2022 at 8:48 am in reply to: Lesson 6 Assignments
>Module 1.6 – Relationship Map Assignment 1

>Mr. Robot

Elliot – Mr. Robot

Surface: Allies

Common Ground: Both want to bring down Evil Corp

Conflict: Elliot doesn’t agree with all of Mr. Robot’s methods

History: Mr. Robot is kind of a mentor

Subtext: Conspirators

Relationship Arc: Elliot goes from mistrust to alliance

Elliot – Darlene

Surface: Siblings

Common Ground: Both want to bring down Evil Corp

Conflict: Elliot doesn’t want Darlene interfering in his personal life.

History: Siblings of a uncaring mother

Subtext: Conspirators

Relationship Arc: Elliot goes from avoidance to a more accepting attitude

Elliot – Mr. Wellick

Surface: Adversaries

Common Ground: Both are intelligent IT experts and some mutual respect

Conflict: Elliot doesn’t want Wellick to know his trying to bring down Evil Corp

History: Wellick disappointed Elliot doesn’t want to work for him

Subtext: Wellick is suspicious but also envious

Relationship Arc: Wellick goes from minor interest, to being impressed to admiration
- This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by H.G. MIDDLEMASS.
H.G. MIDDLEMASS

Member
February 28, 2022 at 10:12 pm in reply to: Lesson 5 Assignments
Module 1.5 Depth of Emotions Assignment 1

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” Showing the Internal Struggles for main characters is essential in writing engaging, interesting characters in order to sustain a TV Series.

Elliot

Hope – Create a revolution by bringing down E-Corp Fear – He’s being followed by corporate thugs.

Want – Justice and to right wrongdoing by corporations and individuals. Need – Love and to overcome his delusions.

Base Negative Emotion – Fear, Paranoia Public Mask – IT Expert who is aloof.

Weaknesses – Emotional connections with friends and family.

Triggers – Childhood memories.

Coping Mechanism – Drugs and Hacking into peoples lives.

Angela

Hope – To climb the corporate ladder. Fear – She’s not good enough.

Want – Power and Respect. Need – To overcome self-doubt.

Base Negative Emotion – Incompetence. Public Mask – Leader who can handle things.

Weaknesses – Pride.

Triggers – Questioning her ability.

Coping Mechanism – Lashes out, becomes resentful.
- This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by H.G. MIDDLEMASS.
H.G. MIDDLEMASS

Member
February 25, 2022 at 5:52 am in reply to: Lesson 4 Assignments
Lesson 4 Assignment 1: Character Intrigue for Mr. Robot

Intrigue: Secrets beneath the surface: Clandestine moves, covert activity, underhanded dealing, schemes, lies, secrets, cover ups. 7 hidden layers

1. Hidden agendas – Tyrell Wellick wants to be CTO but he’s stringing Allsafe along and plans to fire them.

2. Competition – Subtle but Mr. Robot wants to see if Elliott is as good or better than himself. Competition within fsociety.

3. Conspiracy – fsociety conspires to bring down Evil Corp.

4. Secrets – Ellott’s drug addiction and trojan horse he planted in Evil Corp’s server.

5. Deception – – Elliott’s deception to protect Allsafe’s client while conspiring to bring down Evil Corp.

6. Wound – Elliott’s father died of luekemia caused by his employer and his mother was cold and unloving and didn’t give him emotional or psychological support.

7. Secret Indentity – Elliott is a hacker so his identity is secret in that regard. Mr. Robot and the fsociety members are all hackers ……all secret. Mr. Robot may have another secret identity but it has not been revealed yet. Tyrell is in heterosexual marriage but has homosexual affairs and has a proclivity for violence when he beats-up a homeless man.
- This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by H.G. MIDDLEMASS.
H.G. MIDDLEMASS

Member
February 22, 2022 at 5:29 pm in reply to: Lesson 3 Assignments

 ASSIGNMENT 1:

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” Using this model of character creation helps making characters more complex.


Mr. Robot

1. Tell us the journey of your show. A young man who is a computer genius and is a hacker vigilante who suffers from social anxieties and psychological problems wants to hack into a greedy conglomerate named E-corp .

2. Who are the main characters that will sell your show? Elliott Alderson,

3. Answer these questions for each of those characters.

A. Role in the show: Protagonist, Anti-hero, IT professional for Allsafe.

B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: Computer expert – genius

C. Intrigue: What is secret beneath the surface? Drug user and hacker, psychological problems

D. Moral Issue: What moral boundaries are they crossing? Hacking even though it hurts people.

E. Unpredictable: What will they do next? Elliott is anti-social but goes to his supervisor’s house for a social dinner w coworkers.

F. Empathetic: Why do we care? At heart a good person and he wants to see justice.
H.G. MIDDLEMASS

Member
February 19, 2022 at 6:23 am in reply to: Lesson 2 Assignments
Assignment 2. Examples from my script: “Perfect Candidate”.

A. Main Characters:

VERNA WILLIAMS – Protagonist, Black Woman, 40s, heavy, Devoid of sophistication but more clever then her uncouth mannerism would suggest. A street-smart woman who knows how to survive. Biting humor. Snappy quips. Acquitted of accessory to murder. She drove her car to assist disposing of dead body but was high on crack at the time and did not participate in the murder or know about it in advance.

LILI LEE – Antagonist, Asian Woman, 40s Greed, Poisons Ginny Acts like mole. Poison concealed in her prescription eye drops and not detected during check-in at the retreat. Acquitted of poisoning boyfriend she was jealous of but insufficient evidence.

JAKE MARLOW – White Male, 50s, Former Detective who reveals true identity after 2 death. Didn’t want to reveal after 1st death due to 250K job. Acts like mole. Acquitted of killing violent drug dealer claimed self defense but thug was unarmed and he planted weapon. Eventually fired from dept for insubordination.

Two other undecided characters from Connected Circle.

B. Connected Circle:

GRETCHEN KOVACS

SAM WONG

RON RAVEN

CONCHITA MORALES

VIRGINIA “GINNY” DAWSON

IRA RAMERIZ

BOBBY JOE PALLIDSTER

C. Environment Circle: Work in progress
- This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by H.G. MIDDLEMASS.
H.G. MIDDLEMASS

Member
February 19, 2022 at 5:58 am in reply to: Lesson 2 Assignments
Assignment 1. Examples from Mr. Robot.

A. Main Characters: Elliot Alderson, Angela Moss, Mr. Robot

B. Connected Circle: Shayla Nico, Darlene Alderson, Tyrell Wellick, Gideon Goddard, Krista Gordon

C. Environment Circle: Allsafe coworkers, Evil Corp Workers, Various Hackers
- This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by H.G. MIDDLEMASS.
- This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by H.G. MIDDLEMASS.
H.G. MIDDLEMASS

Member
February 16, 2022 at 8:47 am in reply to: Lesson 1 Assignments
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” I found it very helpful to pause the episode frequently and write notes to fit the 5 Star Points.

FYI: I was able to download the actual TV Pilot of Mr. Robot for Free. There are many great Pilots available for free if you search. I recommend watching the Pilot first and reading the actual script afterwards.

Binge Worthy example I chose: MR. ROBOT, Ran 4 Seasons on……..USA Network.

Make a list of the 5 Star Points for that show.

1. Big Picture Hooks: What is the big hook of this show?

Elliot Alderson is a computer genius who works as an IT Director by day and Hacker Vigilante by night. Show uses VO to reveal what’s going through his head. He is socially awkward and tries to avoid social interactions (like 40yr old virgin). Up against a evil, nefarious conglomerate who he hates but……his job requires that he help them. His ability to hack into almost any computer gives him a tremendous power thru knowledge.

Big Hook: Mr. Robot is trying to recruit Elliott and plans to hack into e-corp who controls 70 % of All Global Consumer Debt including credit cards, mortgage and loans and erase all the debt to create the biggest redistribution of wealth in history. If Elliot does what Mr. Robot asks it will the biggest revolution the world has ever seen!

2. Amazing and Intriguing Character. Ask this: What makes these main characters intriguing and interesting?

Elliot is complex he’s very intelligent but socially inhibited. He was ordered to therapy and claims he can read people better than the trained psychologist. He hacked into her files. He is angry w society sees all sorts of injustice in the world especially corporate injustice. He says: “Spamming each other with our running commentary of bullshit masquerading as insight, our social media faking as intimacy. But with our things, our property, our money. I’m not saying anything new. We all know why we do this. Not because Hunger Games books makes us happier. But because we want to be sedated. Because it’s painful not to pretend. Because we’re cowards. Fuck society– but I’ve said that already.”

He’s fascinating because he’s very intelligent and even insightful but may be suffering from delusions which he takes medication for. He sees men in Black which is likely a psychosis but might not be.

Halfway through Pilot, Mr. Robot is introduced….he’s apparently the Super Hacker who nearly brought down e-corp and he meets Elliot on an empty subway in the middle of the night. We want to know who he is and the obsession begins.

3. Empathy / Distress Ask this: What situation causes us to feel both empathy and distress for this character?

Elliot is extremely lonely and isolated, feelings we can all relate to. He comes from a broken family so no family or friends for support. He copes with Morphine but is wise enough NOT to use too high a dosage to avoid addiction.

4. Layers / Open Loops Ask this: What questions are created by this first episode that can only be answered by watching the entire season?

Who is Mr. Robot, the Hacker who nearly brought down e-corp? Will Elliott help Mr. Robot take down e-corp? Is any of this delusion?

5. Inviting Obsession Ask this: How does this pilot create the need to see every single episode?

One of the best examples of a Techno-Thriller I’ve ever seen. Very Big Concept, fascinating characters, many open questions I am very curious to see them answered like how will Mr. Robot accomplish his super hack? How will Elliott fit in? What does FBI know? Does e-corp know or suspect Elliott’s role?
- This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by H.G. MIDDLEMASS.
H.G. MIDDLEMASS

Member
February 15, 2022 at 7:27 am in reply to: Introduce Yourself To The Group

1. Name? H.G. Middlemass

2. How many scripts you’ve written? I’ve written 2 Features and 2 TV Pilots and 2 Series Bibles to support the Pilots and 1 Promotional Video.

3. What you hope to get out of the class? I am striving to be the best writer I can be and upon completion of the class I want any producer or manager to be intrigued by the concept and impressed with the writing so they want to option the material.

4. Something unique, special, strange or unusual about you? I love to travel and have been to 46 states and several countries. I have never drunk a cup of coffee in my life.
H.G. MIDDLEMASS

Member
February 15, 2022 at 6:25 am in reply to: Confidentiality Agreement

H.G. Middlemass

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
H.G. MIDDLEMASS

Member
February 21, 2022 at 8:02 pm in reply to: Introduce Yourself To The Group
Thanks for the info on specs….it is helpful. Rather than writing an episode of Breaking Bad or The Sopranos, I should focus on a hit show that is in the first or second season. Sorry your pilot didn’t get picked-up but at least you were paid to write the it. I would have watched it. Speaking of Wall Street, I wrote a Period Drama and one of the main characters is JP Morgan Jr. AMC was excited and read the pilot and series bible but they passed on it. I made a promotional video for the series and posted the link below. Bear in mind, I had no budget to make it so it’s very basic.

Best Regards,

H.G. Middlemass

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1TG4jkAwToPjUAQRoWz7xWNuJi3YR2Zbn/view?
- This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by H.G. MIDDLEMASS.
H.G. MIDDLEMASS

Member
February 15, 2022 at 9:25 pm in reply to: Introduce Yourself To The Group

Hi Phyllis, I was wondering what TV shows and were they optioned or produced? I was also wondering if you or anyone else has insight into writing a spec for an existing show still in production or do you write a spec for a show that wrapped-up years earlier and use it as an example of your work?

H.G. MIDDLEMASS

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