Huey Williams
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Huey J Williams, I agree to the Confidentiality Agreement for Advanced Dialogue Class.
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My name is Huey J, I have written one script, several shorts, I would like to learn about writting dialogue for screenplays, I have experience in many things.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by Huey Williams.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by
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I agree to the terms of the release form
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Lesson 12: Marketing To Producers
Subject Line (Huey J Williams) Marketing Plan
What I learned: How to create a Marketing Plan that gives
the Producers a reason to consider you for
a Writing Assignment.
PLAN FOLLOWS:
Create a Network on Linkdin by connecting with Producers, then
send out 5 requests per day applying for writing assignment.
Once making contact with a Producer I would write in my own words,
let Producer know that I am familiar with what his Company produces,
the titles, genre, and how I might be of service, based on my
credentials.
I would be glad to send writing samples, also immediate audition when
requested.
I would let Producer know that I’m available for any writing assignment
whether, rewites, book adaptation, your own idea, etc.
Then leave my Name, Phone, Email, and Linkedin Profile.
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Lesson 11: Pricing Strategies
Subject line: (Huey J Williams) Plan for increasing Perceived Value
What I learned: How to set up a Linkedin Account. I working on my Network.
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Lesson 10: Taking Notes From Producers
Subject Line (HueyJ Williams) Is a Note Taking Professional
What I learned: I how to take notes from a Producer and
completely change the story, budget, lead character, increase
the conflect, change the genre, nd audience.
Original:
THE TREATMENT FOLLOWS:
TITLE: “THE GREEN LUCIES”
GENRE: WAR
LOGLINE: Code name “THE GREEN LUCIES” a Military Intelligence Recon Unit, ALL WOMEN,
The US ARMY’S best kept secrete, outfitted in Top Secrete Camouflage, Weapons,
and Leadership perform an impossible covert mission.
BUDGET: 1.5 to 2.25 million
AUDIENCE: 18 to 25 year olds
Code Name “THE GREEN LUCIES” a Military Intelligence Recon Unit, ALL WOMEN, the US ARMY’S
best kept secrete, outfitted in Top Secrete Camouflage woven with a fabric that cloakes
them from enemy detection, the lates Weapons, perform an impossible covert mission. The
Lucies don’t take prisioners
Pope Army Airfield, dust, under a crimson sky, and big yellow moon slowly rises the horizon
provides the backdrop. The silhouettes of the open belly of a C-141 Jet being loaded under
the Command of COLONEL AUDREY and her TEAM of LUCIES board the aircraft single file.
The belly closes and the airecraft approaches the runway and joins the sky headed for the
mission.
Enroute the C-141 flies stelth, flying low to stay undetected by enemy radar, inside the
Lucies huddle and are given final instructions, Colonel Audrey via SIGN LANGUAGE, part
of their training, (by eliminating speach the other senses, hearing, tast, touch, sight,
smell), sharpen with less effort. Then they sit and prepare for the jump.
The FLIGHT CREW DOORMAN open the side door, the Lucies rise, in single file approach the
door, the C-141 slows its speed, they get a green light, the Doorman begins YELLING! GO!
GO! GO! One by one the Lucies jump into the dark sky making their way to the ground.
The C-141 takes fire from ground Enemy Forces, but makes it back to base.
The Lucies hit the Foreign Jungle one by one, immediately burying their parachutes, they
become involved in a fire fight with ENEMY SCOUTS, after a short battle the Green Lucies
kill them all, then continue to destination, the Garrison, they also encounter SEVERAL
PERIMETER GUARDS, which are quietly killed.
The Lucies reach the small town, dig in and prepare their assault, intell provided
states that a SMALL BRIGADE of Enemy Troops have taken over the town and are using
the CHILDREN as slaves, the WOMEN for domestic duties, and sex, the MEN are held
in make-shift prison and for sport they are one by one hunted and killed for sport
like animals.
The Lucies watch the encampment hidden in the bush, cloaked and undetected, Colonel
Audrey uses sign language to put her plan into motion. At night fall, Colonel Audrey
sends TWO LUCIES out to create a deversion. They start a nearby massive fire using
TWO CLAYMORE MINES. Most of the Enemy Troops rush to contain the fire and the Lucies
begin their assault.
Several Lucies rush the Children’s Quarters, quietly take out the GUARDS then lead
the Children to safety in the woods, and guard them. Several of the Lucies invade
the Womens quarters, killing the Guards, freeing the Women and arming them.
Colonel Audrey and remainder of the Lucies storm the make-shift prison, killing
the Guards, freeing the Men, then arming them.
During the night a fierce battle takes place between the Lucies, the Towns People
and the Enemy Troops, under a massive fire blazeing backdrop. By morning
many Enemy Troops have been killed and the remainder have fled the town.
Tired and CHEERING Towns People have regained control of their town, they begin
celebrating and showing much graditude to the Lucies, and when asked who are
they are? Colonel Audrey just says, we’re Americans one of your allies from
the West. The Lucies spend the rest of the day showing the Towns People how
to operate the weapons left buy the Enemy Troops.
At night fall, Colonel Audrey and her Team of Lucies say farewell to the Towns
People and blend into the foreign jungle and head to their extraction point…
THE END
FADE OUT
Created After Notes From Producer:
Logline: Hidden and disguised in a GROUP of BANK ROBBERS is GREEKO the most
feared Mobster in America and Italy, after the robbery, the plan is
to rob Greeko whom they assume is a myth because they have never seen
or heard of.
Pitch: Greeko, the most feared Mobster in America and Italy catches his crew
of subordinates in a double cross and betrayal.
Title: “Greeko DoubleCross”
Genre: Crime
Original Budget: 2 to 2.25 million
After Reducing several scences, several characters, two locations.
New budget: 1 to 1.75 million.
Audience: Females 25 yo.
FADE IN:
1. EXT. DETROIT DOWNTOWN – DAY
TWO MEN TOM and JOE, wearing ski masks parashut to the top of a building,
secure their shuts. Joe disables the security system, after he’s done.
His partner Tom, kills him, grabes his bag and heads to main floor of bank.
2. INT. CAR OUTSIDE BANK – DAY
JEFF and JOHN sit in a car outside the bank waiting for the others to arrive.
JEFF
This Greeko mobster, that we’re working for, he’s suppose to be
the most feared man in the under world.
JOHN
Yes, the man a myth, no one’s ever laid eyes on him, he’s
a ghost, who cares, as long as I get my cut.
3. EXT. OUTSIDE BANK – DAY
The other car pulls up, STEVE, and Cedrick the remainder of Crew jumps out of the car,
Jeff and John join them and they rush into the bank guns out.
4. INT. BANK – DAY
The Crew catches everyone in the bank by suprise, gun drawn SHOUTING ORDERS, throwing PATRONS
around, Steve Kill the SECURITY GUARD, Tom beat ONE MAN to put the fear in all the OTHERS
who are now on the floor and fearing their lives.
Jeff and John go stright to the safe, John grabs the MANAGER who gives them the combination to
the valt, Jeff go’s to work opening it, the other stands by watching.
Jeff opens the valt which is loaded with stacks of bills and safe deposit boxes.
JEFF
Looks like, a big payoff, this underworld mobste Greeko won’t
mind if we take some off the top.
The Entire Crew stair at the money as John and Jeff loads bundle of money into two dufflebags.
JOHN
I’ve heard he’s not the type of person you
double cross, he has eyes and ears all everywhere.
As they are leaving the bank one of the HOSTAGES lying on the floor is DETECTIVE JOHNSON, he gets
in a shootout with the Crew.
John, Jeff, Steve, and Joe are killed in the gun battle and so is Det. Johnson.
5. EXT. BANK – DAY
Cedrick and Tom make their way out of the Bank carring the two dufflebags of money, run threw
the side streets to a stollen Min-vane, Cedrick jumps behind the wheel and they speed away.
6. INT. MINI VAN – DAY
Tom begins taking money of of the dufflebags as the drive down the road.
TOM
Let’s pull over somewhere, I’m taking my cut off the
top, to hell with Greeko, he won’t know what’s missing.
Cedrick finds a quite secluded spot and comes to a stop, then pull a gun, points it Tom, then
removes her mask to reveals herself, a beautiful but deadly Woman.
CEDRICK
I am Greeko, with a job this big, I wanted to be apart
of it. Tust is something I don’t believe in, and I know
you’ve heard no one double crosses Greeko.
Greeko shoots Tom multiple times, then push him out of the mini-van on to the side
of the road, and drives away with all the money. THE END
FADE OUT:
-
Lesson 9: Decreasing Budget In a Script
Subject Line:(Huey J Williams) Decreased Budget
What I Learned: Decreasing the budget is fun
THE TREATMENT FOLLOWS:
TITLE: “THE GREEN LUCIES”
GENRE: WAR
LOGLINE: Code name “THE GREEN LUCIES” a Military Intelligence Recon Unit, ALL WOMEN,
The US ARMY’S best kept secrete, outfitted in Top Secrete Camouflage, Weapons,
and Leadership perform an impossible covert mission.
BUDGET: 1.5 to 2.25 million
AUDIENCE: 18 to 25 year olds
Code Name “THE GREEN LUCIES” a Military Intelligence Recon Unit, ALL WOMEN, the US ARMY’S
best kept secrete, outfitted in Top Secrete Camouflage woven with a fabric that cloakes
them from enemy detection, the lates Weapons, perform an impossible covert mission. The
Lucies don’t take prisioners
Pope Army Airfield, dust, under a crimson sky, and big yellow moon slowly rises the horizon
provides the backdrop. The silhouettes of the open belly of a C-141 Jet being loaded under
the Command of COLONEL AUDREY and her TEAM of LUCIES board the aircraft single file.
The belly closes and the airecraft approaches the runway and joins the sky headed for the
mission.
THE NUMBER OF LUCIES DEPENDS ON THE BUDGET AND IS VARIABLE.
ALL OF THE FOLLOWING C-141 INTERIOR SHOTS CAN BE DONE ON THE GROUND INCLUDING THE LUCIES
JUMPING OUT OF THE AIRCRAFT.
Enroute the C-141 flies stelth, flying low to stay undetected by enemy radar, inside the
Lucies huddle and are given final instructions, Colonel Audrey via SIGN LANGUAGE, part
of their training, (by eliminating speach the other senses, hearing, tast, touch, sight,
smell), sharpen with less effort. Then they sit and prepare for the jump.
The FLIGHT CREW DOORMAN open the side door, the Lucies rise, in single file approach the
door, the C-141 slows its speed, they get a green light, the Doorman begins YELLING! GO!
GO! GO! One by one the Lucies jump into the dark sky making their way to the ground.
The C-141 takes fire from ground Enemy Forces, but makes it back to base.
MEDIUM SHOT CAN CAPTURE THEM HITTING THE GROUND AND BURYING THEIR PARASHUTES, THE FIRE
FIGHT CAN BE QUICK MEDIUM SHOT, THE DURATION OF THE BATTLE.
The Lucies hit the Foreign Jungle one by one, immediately burying their parachutes, they
become involved in a fire fight with ENEMY SCOUTS, after a short battle the Green Lucies
kill them all, then continue to destination, the Garrison, they also encounter SEVERAL
PERIMETER GUARDS, which are quietly killed.
The Lucies reach the small town, dig in and prepare their assault, intell provided
states that a SMALL BRIGADE of Enemy Troops have taken over the town and are using
the CHILDREN as slaves, the WOMEN for domestic duties, and sex, the MEN are held
in make-shift prison and for sport they are one by one hunted and killed for sport
like animals.
THE EXPLOSION CAN BE CREATED WITH LIGHTS AND SOUNDS, AND A ENEMY TROOP CAN BE SEEN
FLEEING THE AREA OF THE EXPOSION ON FIRE, HE IS EXTINGISH BY FELLOW TROOPS.
The Lucies watch the encampment hidden in the bush, cloaked and undetected, Colonel
Audrey uses sign language to put her plan into motion. At night fall, Colonel Audrey
sends TWO LUCIES out to create a deversion. They start a nearby massive fire using
TWO CLAYMORE MINES. Most of the Enemy Troops rush to contain the fire and the Lucies
begin their assault.
Several Lucies rush the Children’s Quarters, quietly take out the GUARDS then lead
the Children to safety in the woods, and guard them. Several of the Lucies invade
the Womens quarters, killing the Guards, freeing the Women and arming them.
Colonel Audrey and remainder of the Lucies storm the make-shift prison, killing
the Guards, freeing the Men, then arming them.
LIGHTS AND SOUNDS OF BRUSH BURNING CAN BE HEARD AS THEY BATTLE THREW THE NIGHT.
During the night a fierce battle takes place between the Lucies, the Towns People
and the Enemy Troops, under a massive fire blazeing backdrop. By morning
many Enemy Troops have been killed and the remainder have fled the town.
SMOKE CAN BE SEEN AS THE FIRE BURNS OUT.
Tired and CHEERING Towns People have regained control of their town, they begin
celebrating and showing much graditude to the Lucies, and when asked who are
they are? Colonel Audrey just says, we’re Americans one of your allies from
the West. The Lucies spend the rest of the day showing the Towns People how
to operate the weapons left buy the Enemy Troops.
At night fall, Colonel Audrey and her Team of Lucies say farewell to the Towns
People and blend into the foreign jungle and head to their extraction point…
THE END
FADE OUT
-
Amy, are you available for lesson 8 Producer Interview?
-
THE TREATMENT FOLLOWS:
TITLE: “THE GREEN LUCIES”
GENRE: WAR
LOGLINE: Code name “THE GREEN LUCIES” a Military Intelligence Recon Unit, ALL WOMEN,
The US ARMY’S best kept secrete, outfitted in Top Secrete Camouflage, Weapons,
and Leadership perform an impossible covert mission.
BUDGET: 1.5 to 2.25 million
AUDIENCE: 18 to 25 year olds
Code Name “THE GREEN LUCIES” a Military Intelligence Recon Unit, ALL WOMEN, the US ARMY’S
best kept secrete, outfitted in Top Secrete Camouflage woven with a fabric that cloakes
them from enemy detection, the lates Weapons, perform an impossible covert mission. The
Lucies don’t take prisioners
Pope Army Airfield, dust, under a crimson sky, and big yellow moon slowly rises the horizon
provides the backdrop. The silhouettes of the open belly of a C-141 Jet being loaded under
the Command of COLONEL AUDREY and her TEAM of LUCIES board the aircraft single file.
The belly closes and the airecraft approaches the runway and joins the sky headed for the
mission.
Enroute the C-141 flies stelth, flying low to stay undetected by enemy radar, inside the
Lucies huddle and are given final instructions, Colonel Audrey via SIGN LANGUAGE, part
of their training, (by eliminating speach the other senses, hearing, tast, touch, sight,
smell), sharpen with less effort. Then they sit and prepare for the jump.
The FLIGHT CREW DOORMAN open the side door, the Lucies rise, in single file approach the
door, the C-141 slows its speed, they get a green light, the Doorman begins YELLING! GO!
GO! GO! One by one the Lucies jump into the dark sky making their way to the ground.
The C-141 takes fire from ground Enemy Forces, but makes it back to base.
The Lucies hit the Foreign Jungle one by one, immediately burying their parachutes, they
become involved in a fire fight with ENEMY SCOUTS, after a short battle the Green Lucies
kill them all, then continue to destination, the Garrison, they also encounter SEVERAL
PERIMETER GUARDS, which are quietly killed.
The Lucies reach the small town, dig in and prepare their assault, intell provided
states that a SMALL BRIGADE of Enemy Troops have taken over the town and are using
the CHILDREN as slaves, the WOMEN for domestic duties, and sex, the MEN are held
in make-shift prison and for sport they are one by one hunted and killed for sport
like animals.
The Lucies watch the encampment hidden in the bush, cloaked and undetected, Colonel
Audrey uses sign language to put her plan into motion. At night fall, Colonel Audrey
sends TWO LUCIES out to create a deversion. They start a nearby massive fire using
TWO CLAYMORE MINES. Most of the Enemy Troops rush to contain the fire and the Lucies
begin their assault.
Several Lucies rush the Children’s Quarters, quietly take out the GUARDS then lead
the Children to safety in the woods, and guard them. Several of the Lucies invade
the Womens quarters, killing the Guards, freeing the Women and arming them.
Colonel Audrey and remainder of the Lucies storm the make-shift prison, killing
the Guards, freeing the Men, then arming them.
During the night a fierce battle takes place between the Lucies, the Towns People
and the Enemy Troops, under a massive fire blazeing backdrop. By morning
many Enemy Troops have been killed and the remainder have fled the town.
Tired and CHEERING Towns People have regained control of their town, they begin
celebrating and showing much graditude to the Lucies, and when asked who are
they are? Colonel Audrey just says, we’re Americans one of your allies from
the West. The Lucies spend the rest of the day showing the Towns People how
to operate the weapons left buy the Enemy Troops.
At night fall, Colonel Audrey and her Team of Lucies say farewell to the Towns
People and blend into the foreign jungle and head to their extraction point…
THE END
FADE OUT
-
Lesson 7: Audition by Writing A Treatment
What I learned:
How to write a treatment
THE PITCH/LOGLINE:
Code name “THE GREEN LUCIES” a Military Intelligence Recon Unit, ALL WOMEN,
The US ARMY’S best kept secrete, outfitted in Top Secrete Camouflage, Weapons,
and Leadership perform an impossible covert mission.
TITLE: “THE GREEN LUCIES”
GENRE: WAR
BUDGET: 1.5 to 2.25 million
AUDIENCE: 18 to 25 year olds
FADE IN:
1. EXT. POPE ARMY AIRFIELD – DUST
A big yellow full moon slowly rises the horizon provides the backdrop, the silhouettes
the opened belly of a C-141 JET being loaded by COLONEL AUDREY and her TEAM
of LUCIES board the aircraft single file.
The belly closes and the aircraft approaches the runway and joins the sky headed
for the mission.
2. INT. C-141 MILITARY JET FLYING STELTH – NIGHT
The Green Lucies, on board the CC-141, camouflaged in a material that CLOAKS them
from enemy detection, Top Secrete Firepower, Parashutes ready for the green light.
The Lucies bunched to gether being given instructions by Colonel Audrey via sign language,
part of their training, ( by eliminating speach the other senses, hearing, tast, touch,
sight, smell), sharpen with less effort,then they all sit and prepare for jump.
The C-141 flies low and fast to hide from enemy detection as it nears its destination.
The FLIGHT CREW DOORMAN opens the side door of the plain, the Lucies take their places
preparing to jump, the plain slows, then he begins YELLING, GO! GO! GO!.
The Lucies one by one jump into the night sky, and the C-141 takes some small enemy fire
from the ground forces, but makes it back to home base.
3. EXT. FOREIGN JUNGLE – NIGHT
After landing, burying their parachutes, the Green Lucies become involved in a fire fight
with ENEMY FORCES, SCOUTS that watched them land, after a short battle, the Green Lucies
kill them all.
The Lucies make their way threw the jungle headed to the Garrison, (small town) killing
PERIMETER GUARDS along the way.
4. EXT. GARRISON A SMALL TOWN – NIGHT
The make-shift Garrison is a small town that has been taken over now occupied by a small
BATTALION OF ENEMY FORCES.
The Green Lucies have intell that the TOWNS PEOPLE are being held captive, CHILDREN used as
slaves, WOMEN used for domestic duties and sex, the MEN being held in make-shift prison,
and for sport one or more of them are killed for sport by hunting them like an animal.
The Lucies watch the encampment hidden in the bush, cloaked and undetected. Colonel Audrey
uses sign language to plan their assault.
5. EXT. GARRISON SMALL TOWN – NIGHT
Colonel Audrey orders Two Lucies to move out and to create a deversion, they use two CLAYMORE
MINES to start a massive fire near town.
Most of Enemy troops rush to contain the fire, and the Lucies go into action.
6. INT. WOMEN’S QUARTERS – NIGHT
Several Lucies invade where the Women are held, killing the GUARDS, freeing the Women, then
arming them, they begin ambushing and killing enemy troops.
7. INT. CHILDREN’S QUARTERS – NIGHT
Several Lucies rush into where the Children are being held and quietly take out the Guards,
then lead the Children to safety in the woods.
8. INT. MAKE-SHIFT PRISON – NIGHT
Colonel Audrey and the remainder of the Lucies storm the make-shift prison, battle the Guards,
killing them, freeing the Men, arming them, the fighting escalates, enemy troops are taking
heavy casualties, they begin to retreat out of town.
9. EXT. SMALL TOWN – MORNING
Tired and CHEERING the Towns People have regained control of their town, they thank the Lucies,
and when asked who the are, the Lucies respond, we are Americans, they never reveal their
true identity.
10. EXT. FOREIGN JUNGLE – NIGHT
Colonel Audrey says farewell to the Towns People and the Lucies blend into the foreign jungle
and head to their extraction point…THE END
FADE OUT
THE TREATMENT FOLLOWS:
Code Name “THE GREEN LUCIES” a Military Intelligence Recon Unit, ALL WOMEN, the US ARMY’S
best kept secrete, outfitted in Top Secrete Camouflage woven with a fabric that cloakes
them from enemy detection, the lates Weapons, perform an impossible covert mission. The
Lucies don’t take prisioners
Pope Army Airfield, dust, under a crimson sky, and big yellow moon slowly rises the horizon
provides the backdrop. The silhouettes of the open belly of a C-141 Jet being loaded under
the Command of COLONEL AUDREY and her TEAM of LUCIES board the aircraft single file.
The belly closes and the airecraft approaches the runway and joins the sky headed for the
mission.
Enroute the C-141 flies stelth, flying low to stay undetected by enemy radar, inside the
Lucies huddle and are given final instructions, Colonel Audrey via SIGN LANGUAGE, part
of their training, (by eliminating speach the other senses, hearing, tast, touch, sight,
smell), sharpen with less effort. Then they sit and prepare for the jump.
The FLIGHT CREW DOORMAN open the side door, the Lucies rise, in single file approach the
door, the C-141 slows its speed, they get a green light, the Doorman begins YELLING! GO!
GO! GO! One by one the Lucies jump into the dark sky making their way to the ground.
The C-141 takes fire from ground Enemy Forces, but makes it back to base.
The Lucies hit the Foreign Jungle one by one, immediately burying their parachutes, they
become involved in a fire fight with ENEMY SCOUTS, after a short battle the Green Lucies
kill them all, then continue to destination, the Garrison, they also encounter SEVERAL
PERIMETER GUARDS, which are quietly killed.
The Lucies reach the small town, dig in and prepare their assault, intell provided
states that a SMALL BRIGADE of Enemy Troops have taken over the town and are using
the CHILDREN as slaves, the WOMEN for domestic duties, and sex, the MEN are held
in make-shift prison and for sport they are one by one hunted and killed for sport
like animals.
The Lucies watch the encampment hidden in the bush, cloaked and undetected, Colonel
Audrey uses sign language to put her plan into motion. At night fall, Colonel Audrey
sends TWO LUCIES out to create a deversion. They start a nearby massive fire using
TWO CLAYMORE MINES. Most of the Enemy Troops rush to contain the fire and the Lucies
begin their assault.
Several Lucies rush the Children’s Quarters, quietly take out the GUARDS then lead
the Children to safety in the woods, and guard them. Several of the Lucies invade
the Womens quarters, killing the Guards, freeing the Women and arming them.
Colonel Audrey and remainder of the Lucies storm the make-shift prison, killing
the Guards, freeing the Men, then arming them.
During the night a fierce battle takes place between the Lucies, the Towns People
and the Enemy Troops, under a massive fire blazeing backdrop. By morning
many Enemy Troops have been killed and the remainder have fled the town.
Tired and CHEERING Towns People have regained control of their town, they begin
celebrating and showing much graditude to the Lucies, and when asked who are
they are? Colonel Audrey just says, we’re Americans one of your allies from
the West. The Lucies spend the rest of the day showing the Towns People how
to operate the weapons left buy the Enemy Troops.
At night fall, Colonel Audrey and her Team of Lucies say farewell to the Towns
People and blend into the foreign jungle and head to their extraction point…
THE END
FADE OUT
-
Is there anyone free, that would like to partner up for this assignment?
-
Lesson 6: Being Invaluable To Producers
Subject Line:(Huey J Williams) Synopsis for Producer Interview
What I learned:
Some of the challenging decisions that a Producer must make to get
a movie made, they need all the help they can get from the screenwriter.
THE PITCH/Logline:
Code name “Green Lucies” a Military Intelligence Recon Unit, all Women,
the Army’s best kept secrete, outfitted in top secrete camouflage, weapons,
and leadership perform an impossible covert mission.
TITLE: “THE GREEN LUCIES”
GENRE: WAR
BUDGET: 2 to 2.25 million
ADIENCE: 18 to 25 year olds
FADE IN:
1. EXT. C-141 MILITARY JET FLYING STELTH – NIGHT
The C-141 flies low enough to hide from enemy detection as it nears it’s
destination.
2. INT. C-141 MILITARY JET – NIGHT
The Green Lucies, on board the C-141, camouflaged in a material that cloaks
them from enemy detection, Top secrete firepower, parashutes ready for
green light, under the Command of COLONEL AUDREY.
The C-141 takes on some small enemy fire from GROUND FORCES.
The C-141 slows for drop, the door opens, they get the green light.
THE FLIGHT CREW DOORMAN
Go! Go! Go!
The Green Lucies parachute into the night, one by one, the C-141 increases,
speed, altitude and heads back to home base.
3. EXT. FOREIGN JUNGLE – NIGHT
After landing, burying their parachutes, the Green Lucies, become involved in
a fire fight with ENEMY FORCES that watched them land, with SCOUTS from a nearby
Garrison, after a short battle, the Green Lucies kill them all. The Green Lucies
only form of comunication is by sign language, part of the training, when you
eliminate speach the other senses (hearing,taste,touch,sight,smell)sharpen with
less effort.
Green Lucies make their way threw the jungle headed to Garrison, killing,
PERIMETER GUARDS along the way.
4. EXT. GARRISON A SMALL TOWN – NIGHT
The make-shift Garrison is a small town that has been taken over now occupied by a
small BATTALION OF ENEMY TROOPS. The green Lucies have intell that The TOWNS PEOPLE
are being held captive, CHIDREN used as slaves, WOMEN used for sex, and the MEN are
held in a make shift prison, and every night one of the towns people are killed for
sport by the enemy Troups.
5. EXT. GARRISON SMALL TOWN – NIGHT
The Green Lucies watch hidden in the bush, cloaked and undetected.
Colonel Audrey uses sign language to plan orders for their assault.
6. EXT. NEAR GARRISON – NIGHT
Two of the Lucies move out to create a diversion, they use two claymores mines to
start a massive fire, of which enemy troops rush to contain.
The Lucies go into action.
7. INT. WOMEN”S QUARTERS – NIGHT
Three Green Lucies, invade the quarters where the Women are held, killing the GUARDS,
freeing the Women and arming them, they begin killing off ENEMY SOLDIERS.
8. INT. CHILDREN’S QUARTERS – NIGHT
Four Green Lucies attack and kill the Enemy Soldiers holding the Children, then lead
them to safty out side of the town.
9. INT. MAKE-SHIFT PRISON – NIGHT
Colonel Audrey leads the remainder of the Lucies to the make shift prison, battles
it out with the GUARDS, killing them, free the Men, arming them, the fifgting escalates
and the Enemy Soldiers are taking heavy casualties.
The Enemy Troups begin to retreat out of town.
10. EXT. SMALL TOWN – MORNING
The towns people begin cheering and thanking the Green Lucies, when asked they don’t reveal
who they are, only that they are AMERICANS.
11. EXT. FOREIGN JUNGLE – NIGHT
Just as quickly as the arrived the Green Lucies bade farewell to the Towns People
and head for their extraction point, somewhere in the jungle…
In times of crisis Americans aways their to lend a helping hand.
THE END.
FADE OUT
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Lesson 4: Key Business Decisions In Your Script
Subject Line (Huey J Williams) Key Business Decisions
What I Learned:
It was hard picking a genre, but with hard work I can become a
competitive horror story writer and “Thingamajig” is a start.
THE DECISIONS OF LOW BUDGET SCRIPT:
GENRE: HORROR
TITLE: “THE THINGAMAJIG”
CONCEPT:
A Group of High School Graduates lead by ALDEN, the most experienced
in outing events celebrate, before leaving for college with a
camping trip in the woods, that nearly cost all the GROUP their
lives by a MONSTER who hunts them.
THE AUDIENCE: Females and Males above and below 17 years old.
BUDGET: 1 to 1.25 million
LEAD CHARACTER: Alden, he knows the most about camping and the
outdoors and he shares the lead with Cory who
seems to understands the Thingamajig’s weaknesses.
The Journey/ Character Arc:
The lives of all the Characters, change by having to deal with the
unknown, they discover how they react under fear, and how making
the right decisions enabled most of them to survive.
The Opening/Ending:
The opening shows that the Characters are going into an dangerous
environment where they will be hunted by a Monster that eats
poeple, one Character and their dog Shad is lost but the other
Characters fight their way out of the black forest to safety.
PROJECT ONE:
1 to 2 million Budget
Title: “THE THINGAMAJIG”
Logline/Pitch:
A Group of High School Graduates celebrate, before leaving for college
with a camping trip in the woods, that they will never forget.
Genre: Horror
Horror Outline Follows:
THE THINGAMAJIG – HORROR SITUATION TRACK
1. EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
NOTE: OPENING SCENE
Horror Situation:
A forest near a lake illuminated by a full moon, the sounds of desperate
HISSING, and INJURED WOLF GROWL, QUICK THUMPING HITTING THE GROUND, slithers
threw the bush in hot pursuit of a EIGHT POINT BUCK.
The Buck SHRIEKS in pain when something in the bushes rips off it’s feet and
begins devouring it, bones CRUNCHING SOUNDS.
CLOSE ON – Just the monster’s mouth chewing is seen, as it takes big bites of
dear meat.
The forest goes silent.
CLOSE ON – SCREECH OWL SHRIEKS, as he watches from a tree.
2. INT. MOTORHOME – NIGHT
A Group of High School Graduates celebrate, before leaving for college
with a camping trip in the woods.
ALDEN drives the motorhome, most expirenced at camping, SHAD his dog liying
at his side CORY rides shotgun, GRAM, ASHLEY, KATE, and ZOEY sit together at
the table in conversation all close friends throughout High School.
All in conversation about the fun they had in High School as they travel.
Zoey says “I remember the great time we had prom night, Gram you were so hansome
in your tuxs and I had on one the most formal gowns I have ever worn”, then she
complains about going on camping trips, she prefers the city life. I’m going to
miss you all while attending University of Southern California while studing
Cinema and writing.
APPREHENSION: Knows very little about camping.
Kate lets her imagination sometimes cause her to fear having new experiences
she believes in monsters and the bogyman, she has entertained the whole group
with her stories the entire trip. Kate says ” We had so much fun in High School,
the beach parties, going to scary movies together, how are we going live being so
far appart I’ll be attending Duke University, Durham, North Carolins, earning
my Nursing Degree”.
Ashley, the mother type, Zoey and Kate look up to her for guidance when things
get out of the ordinary. Ashley says “Well I’ll be attending Yale University,
New Haven, Connecticut, Law School, and I will alway be thinking about all the fun
we’ve had together, Alden, I’ll miss you most, you really know how to show a girl
an exciting time, it has never been a dull moment”.
Gram, says, “I’ll be attending Columbia University, New York City, I will studing
Coaching, first High School, then College, maybe even the Professional Team. I
have the skills from my experience and what I’ve learned being on the Varsity
Team in High School. I’ll really miss you all.
Cory, says, me, “I’ll be attending Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Cambridge
Massachusetts, you have always calling me a Brainiac and since I do have the skills
I’ll fit in well at MIT”. High School was really a lot of fun, especially having you as
friends, and after college I’m sure we’ll reconnect,
Alden, says, “Kate, I’ll miss your vivid imagination. Cory, I miss your enlarged mind,
you brainiac. Gram, I’ll miss youre athleticism, and understanding. Zoey, I’ll miss your
upper class character, and your fashion skills. Ashley, I’ll miss you most, my sweetheart
your intellegent, loveable demeanor, Ashley approaches him and he kisses her on the cheek
I’ll be thinking of you all, while attending University of Pennsylvania, Philadelphia
Pennsylvania, studying Business/Economics, my Dad wants me to take over the Family Sport
Shop”. So, we all have our yellow brick road to follow.
3. EXT./INT. THE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden pulls up and stops at a sign that reads: “Black Forest Keep Out”
APPREHENSION: As to why the warning.
SUSPENSE: Why the keep out order.
They continue to the campsite by the lake.
4. EXT. BLACK FOREST CAMPSITE BY THE LAKE – NIGHT
Under a full moon, Ashley, Alden, pitch their tent, and just
before climb in for no appearent reason shad begins barking, then
joins them in the tent.
APPREHENSION: Ashley and Alden are curious.
Kate and Cory pitch their ten and just before climbing in, Kate lets her
imagination run wild about giant bugs that may climb into their tent.
APPREHENSION: Not to happy about sleeping on the ground.
Zoey and Gram pitch their tent and before climbing in, Gram kids Zoey
by saying,”Their coming to get you Zoey”, which she doesn’t find funny
at all.
APPREHENSION: Zoey doesn’t find it funny.
In the bushes hiding the monster watches, not making a sound.
Gram decides to go for a jog threw the woods, his nightly routine
when at home.
Gram retuns to camp and notices the motorhome is smoking.
The Group jumps into action rush to put out the elctrical fire,then back
into their tents to sleep.
Cory says he’ll take care of the electrical problem in the morning.
5. EXT. BLACK FOREST CAMPSITE LAKESIDE – MORNING
Under a beautiful blue sky and sunshine morning the entire group are busy
cooking, fishing, swimimg, and having a grand old time together, music in
the background.
Alden has just caught serveral good sized catfish and hands them over to
Kate and Ashley who are doing the grilling on the pit.
Cory works on the electrical problem of the motorhome while sneaking bits
of food when Kate and Ashley are not looking.
Zoey and Gram are swiming, playing vollyball in the lake with Shad doing
his best to take the ball away.
Gram, Zoey, Alden, and Cory comment about how the food smells great,
Shad BARKS!
Alden helps Kate and Ashley help finishing the cooking without getting
in the way.
Ashley says, the food will be ready soon and will be served in the
motorhome.
6. INT. MOTORHOME – NOON
Alden, Gram, Cory are seated at the table while Ashley, Zoey, and Kate
prepare their plates, then they sit down with them and Alden says grace,
they begin eating.
After several bits of the food the complement of how good the meal is fills
the air which causes Ashley and Kate to blush with thanks.
After the meal they resume the day with relaxing around the campsite in
conversation while playing cards, just enjoying nature’s beauty.
7. EXT. BLACK FOREST CAMPSITE – NIGHT
A full moon illuminates the landscape, the CRICKET SOUNDS are heard.
Ashley, Alden and Shad are in their tent preparing to sleep.
Kate and Cory are in conversation as they prepare to sleep.
Zoey and Gram are conversing about how wonderful the day was and
the food before they go to sleep.
Suddenly, the CRICKET SOUNDS go silent.
Shad starts to GROWL and BARK!
There is a LOAD HISSIN followed by a SICK WOLF HOWL!
Everybody jumps out of bed.
APPREHENSION: They don’t know whats going on.
FEAR: Of the unknown all Characters.
PANIC: They have no idea what they are dealing with.
MONSTER REVEAL: Not seen yet, but its something strange.
Shad begins BARKING and GROWELING more, then he runs out the tent in hot pursuit
into the woods after something unknown.
Alden grabs his rifle and follows shad into the woods and tries to catch up.
APPREHENSION: Alden feel the unknown.
8. EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden folows a trail of blood to area of the forest where he
finds Shad’s collar and his fur scattered on the ground, he picks
up the collar.
APPREHENSION: Worred about Shad
FEAR: Shad is dead.
LOSS/EMOTIONAL: He won’t see his dog again.
Alden notes something in the bushes watching him, he can’t see what it
is but he knows it’s there, he keeps his gun on the ready.
CREEPY MOMENT: Alden knows something watching him in the bush.
FEAR: The unknown.
EMOTIONAL: About loosing Shad.
UNNERVING: Death could be stairing at him in the bush.
Alden causiously keeps his attention on the thing in the bushes, then
heads back to camp.
9. EXT. BLACK FOREST CAMPSITE – NIGHT
Everyone in the camp, Ashley, Cory, Kate, Zoey, Gram are gathered
together in cofusion.
APPREHENSION: Unaware of whats going on.
FEAR: Uncertain.
Alden returns with only Shad’s Tags and some of his fur.
Alden hugs Ashley almost in tears.
FEAR: Everyone at campsite.
SUSPENSE: What happend in the forest, and where is Shad.
DREAD: The death of Shad.
STARTLED: They know they are isolated and my be attacked.
They all decide move out of the tents into the motorhome.
10. INT. MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
The Group make their way into the motorhome and bed down for the night.
Cory after working most of the day reparing the burned ignition system,
can’t make repairs.
APPREHENSION: Isolated.
Zoey tries to make a call home on her cell phone, no signal.
APREHENSION: Can’t call home.
ISOLATION: No phone signal.
Gram, and Alden armed decides to share watch duty for the night.
FEAR: Of unwanted visiter.
SUSPENSE: What is stalking them.
The monster is watching the motorhome from the bushes.
11. EXT. CAMPSITE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
The monster enters the camp, ransacking the tents, then goes to
the motorhome and peeps threw the bathroom window.
12. INT. MOTOHOME – NIGHT
A Horror Situation:
Zoey is in the bathroom bushing he teeth, when she spot the monster’s
big eyees enlarged face staring at her, she SCREAMS and runs out of
the bathroom.
SHOCK: The monter’s face.
HYSTERIA: Gets her first look at the monster.
FEAR: Feels helpless.
CREEPY MOMENT: Being watched by a monster.
SCARED: Nearly to death, fear of capture.
Ashley, Kate question what Zoey says she saw, suggest that maybe it
was a bear that she saw, then try to calm her down.
DENIAL: Don’t believe Zoey.
Zoey get pissed because they don’t believe her.
FEAR: For their life.
DREAD: Of what might happen to them.
HYSTERIA: Of the monster capturing them.
SHOCK: There being a monster hunting them.
MONSTER REVEALED: First look at monster.
Suddenly, the motorhome start bouncing and shaking Kate, Ashley start to
believe Zoey.
APPREHENSION: Asley, and Kate are puzzled.
FEAR: The become afraid.
SHOCK: About whats happening.
The monster jumps up and down on the motorhome HISSING, HOWLING LIKE AN
INJURED WOLF, shaking things up and SHOUTS FEED ME over and over.
13. EXT. OUTSIDE MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden, Gram, Cory, go into action each armed, they make their way out of the
motorhome, they get their first look at the monster, and begin shooting.
SHOCK: Their first look at the monster.
FEAR: They know nothing about the monster.
STARTLED: Never seen anything like this before.
EMOTIONAL: They could loose their lives.
DREAD: Must come up with a way to destroy monster.
CREEPY MOMENT: Something they have never seen before.
MONSTER REVEALED: First look at monster.
They make multiple hits, but it doesn’t kill the monster, it runs away into the
darkness of the black forest.
SURPRISE: Bullets won’t kill monster.
Alden, Gram, Cory are sweating, knees kocking, wide eyeed and they can’t believe
what they just saw.
Cory says, we learned one thing about what ever that was, bullets won’t kill
it, maybe fire will.
14. EXT. CAMPSITE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
Later that evening the Thingamajig strikes again this time Kate, Zoey, and Ashley all
get a look at it, as it raids the tents looking for food or one of them.
DREAD: Never seen a monster before.
HYSTERIA: Afraid to die.
FEAR: nearly scared to death.
Ashley, Kate, Zoey CRYING, sweating, Zoey soil herselves.
15. EXT. OUTSIDE MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
Alden, Gram, Cory attack the Thingamajig a battle begins with fire, (molotov cocktails), they miss.
The Thingamajig spits a substance that hits Cory on the leg, he SCREAMS in pain as it burns his
skin, Alden and Gram come to his aid, they stop the pain, by removing a section of clothing in
effected area, the Thingamajig runs into the woods.
Alden, Gram, and Cory pursue the Thingamajig deep into the woods by following his tracks.
16. EXT. CAMPSITE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
The Thingamajig, fooled the Alden, Gram, and Cory, makes his way back to the motorhome, then
tries to break in and capture Kate, Ashley, and Zoey.
17. INT. THE MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
Ashley, Kate, and Zoey are lock inside waiting for Alden, Cory, and Gram to return, they begin hearing
STRANGE NOISES outside the motorhome.
APPREHENSION: Waiting for Aden, Cory, and Gram to return safely.
FEAR: Monster my return.
ANXIETY: Worry, nervous.
Kate peeps outside the window and sees a hairy body runs past, she starts SCREAMING, so do Ashley and Zoey.
they start looking for places to hide.
The Thingamajig starts turning the door knob, trying to get into the motohome, and he’s chanting FEED
ME over and over.
The Thingamajig opens the door to the motorhome, stairing at the girl salivating at the mouth, it GROWLS LIKE
A WOLF, and saying FEED ME, over and over as it is about to enter.
SHOCK: Fears for their lives.
HYSTERIA: Doomed by the monster.
PANIC: Monster my come in motorhome.
DREAD: Death is at the door.
18. EXT./INT. CAMPSITE MOTORHOME – NIGHT
Alden, Cory, and Gram appear, start firing shot at the Thingamajig and it runs into the woods.
Alden, Cory, and Gram rush into the motorhome and hugg their CRYING girl friends.
RELEASE: The girls are saved.
ALDEN
We were chasing the Thingamajig it trick us, we never thought
it would double back here to the motorhome.
19. EXT. CAMPSITE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
The Thingamajig returns and begins HOWLING, near the motorhome, Alden, Cory, and Gram take action, head
out to fight the Thingamajig.
Face to face with the Thingamajig, Alden, Cory, and Gram begin throwing molotov cocktail, but the
Thingamajig is quick, they miss.
Gram moves in close for a better shot with the molotov cocktail.
The Thingamajig charges, grabs Gram, he SCREAMS in pain as the Thingamajig takes a bite out of him,
as it runs into the darkness of the black forest.
Ashley, Kate, and Zoey watch in horror, begin SCREAMING, and close the motorhome door.
Alden and Cory, armed place four molotov cocktails in cooler and head out tracking Gram and
the thingamajig, they follow the Thingamajig’s foot prints to his hideout.
ANGUISH: Gram’s capture.
DREAD: Must try and save Gram.
20. EXT. BLACK FOREST THINGAMAJIG’S HIDEOUT – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
The Thingamajig hideout, a near hole in the ground.
Alden and Cory arrive at the Thingamajig’s cave.
APPREHENSION/SUPENSE: The challenge to try and save Gram and kill the Thingamajig.
ANXIETY/FEAR/CREEPY MOMENT/DISTURBING ENVIRONMENT: They must do what has to be done.
21. INT. THINGAMAJIG’S LAIR – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
Alden and Cory enter the Thingamajig’s lair slowly, molotov cocktails in hand, as they
move deeper into the cave.
Suddenly a BIG BLACK BAT attacks them on his way out of
the cave.
PANIC: They almost run.
SURPISE: The bat scraches them.
CREEPY MOMENT: Being in the Thingamajig’s lair.
In the distance Alden and Cory, HEAR SOUNDS of BONES CRUNCHING, CHEWING, and SWALLOWING,
then it stops.
Alden and Cory look at each other’
APPREHENSION: The sounds in the distance.
FEAR: In the shaddows the Thingamajig waits.
SUSPENSE: Will Gram be alive.
DREAD: What will they find.
Alden and Cory look at each other.(Fear/Anguish)
With blood, gutes, and gleaming sharp teeth, the Thingamajig leaps out, almost grabing Cory,
as he jumps out of the way.
Alden throws a molotov cocktail and misses.
The Thingamajig spits a black paste at Alden, misses, jumps at him,
Cory throws a molotov cocktail, which catches the Thingamajig’s leg on fire.
The Thingamajig WOLF HOWLS in pain.
Alden throws his last molotov cocktail, hitting the Thingamajig’s upper body, he hits
the ground burning, HOWLING.
Alden and Cory fire several shots into the Thingamajig’s body, as it burns, then it morphs
into something even more hideous.
As it burns the Thingamajig morphs to a BIG MAGGOT, then to ASH.
RELEASE: Finally they kill the Thingamajig.
The go deeper into the cave and they find the half eaten body of Gram, they stair at his body,
both almost in tears.
DREAD: For their friend.
ANGUIH: They couldn’t save Gram.
GROSSED OUT: To see his half eaten body.
CREEPY MOMENT: Being in the cave.
22. EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden and Cory carry what’s left of Gram’s body out of the cave, then bury his remains in the
black forest, and head back to camp.
EMOTIONAL: Hurt for Gram’s loss.
23. EXT./INT. MOTORHOME CAMPSITE – NIGHT
Ashley, Kate, Zoey stand at the motorhome happy to see Alden, informs them that Gram is
dead, and so is the monster, Zoey begins CRYING.
ANGUISH:CRYING for her lost love.
24. EXT. THE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Together with Ashley, Cate, Zoey, Alden and Cory gather their things and begin hikeing their
way out to the main road to catch a ride back to town for help.
RELEASE: Headed home.
As they walk huddled threw the black forest there is movement in the bushes.
Ashley, Cate, and Zoey start SCREAMING, Alden and Cory take aim.
Out walks an EIGHT POINT BUCK, looks at them, then wanders back into the woods.
They all take a deep breath, sigh of relief.
STARTLED: Thought it was another monster.
EMOTIONAL: Sared
RELEASE: False alarm, no threat.
25. EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
What appears as a falling star lights the sky, then lands near the lake.
CLOSE ON – A Thingamajig sureys the forest, grimaceing look on his face, looks at
the moon, HISSES and INJURED WOLF HOWLS into the night…
SUSPENSE: Who will be next, time will tell.
FADE OUT
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Lesson 5: Your Writing Sample that Gets You Hired
Subject Line (Huey J Williams) Horror, Writing Sample Plan
What I Learned:
It was hard picking a genre, but with hard work I can become a
competitive horror story writer and “Thingamajig” is a start.
PROJECT ONE:
1 to 2 million Budget
Title: “THE THINGAMAJIG”
Logline/Pitch:
A Group of High School Graduates celebrate, before leaving for college
with a camping trip in the woods, that they will never forget.
Genre: Horror
Horror Outline Follows:
THE THINGAMAJIG – HORROR SITUATION TRACK
1. EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
NOTE: OPENING SCENE
Horror Situation:
A forest near a lake illuminated by a full moon, the sounds of desperate
HISSING, and INJURED WOLF GROWL, QUICK THUMPING HITTING THE GROUND, slithers
threw the bush in hot pursuit of a EIGHT POINT BUCK.
The Buck SHRIEKS in pain when something in the bushes rips off it’s feet and
begins devouring it, bones CRUNCHING SOUNDS.
CLOSE ON – Just the monster’s mouth chewing is seen, as it takes big bites of
dear meat.
The forest goes silent.
CLOSE ON – SCREECH OWL SHRIEKS, as he watches from a tree.
2. INT. MOTORHOME – NIGHT
A Group of High School Graduates celebrate, before leaving for college
with a camping trip in the woods.
ALDEN drives the motorhome, most expirenced at camping, SHAD his dog liying
at his side CORY rides shotgun, GRAM, ASHLEY, KATE, and ZOEY sit together at
the table in conversation all close friends throughout High School.
All in conversation about the fun they had in High School as they travel.
Zoey says “I remember the great time we had prom night, Gram you were so hansome
in your tuxs and I had on one the most formal gowns I have ever worn”, then she
complains about going on camping trips, she prefers the city life. I’m going to
miss you all while attending University of Southern California while studing
Cinema and writing.
APPREHENSION: Knows very little about camping.
Kate lets her imagination sometimes cause her to fear having new experiences
she believes in monsters and the bogyman, she has entertained the whole group
with her stories the entire trip. Kate says ” We had so much fun in High School,
the beach parties, going to scary movies together, how are we going live being so
far appart I’ll be attending Duke University, Durham, North Carolins, earning
my Nursing Degree”.
Ashley, the mother type, Zoey and Kate look up to her for guidance when things
get out of the ordinary. Ashley says “Well I’ll be attending Yale University,
New Haven, Connecticut, Law School, and I will alway be thinking about all the fun
we’ve had together, Alden, I’ll miss you most, you really know how to show a girl
an exciting time, it has never been a dull moment”.
Gram, says, “I’ll be attending Columbia University, New York City, I will studing
Coaching, first High School, then College, maybe even the Professional Team. I
have the skills from my experience and what I’ve learned being on the Varsity
Team in High School. I’ll really miss you all.
Cory, says, me, “I’ll be attending Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Cambridge
Massachusetts, you have always calling me a Brainiac and since I do have the skills
I’ll fit in well at MIT”. High School was really a lot of fun, especially having you as
friends, and after college I’m sure we’ll reconnect,
Alden, says, “Kate, I’ll miss your vivid imagination. Cory, I miss your enlarged mind,
you brainiac. Gram, I’ll miss youre athleticism, and understanding. Zoey, I’ll miss your
upper class character, and your fashion skills. Ashley, I’ll miss you most, my sweetheart
your intellegent, loveable demeanor, Ashley approaches him and he kisses her on the cheek
I’ll be thinking of you all, while attending University of Pennsylvania, Philadelphia
Pennsylvania, studying Business/Economics, my Dad wants me to take over the Family Sport
Shop”. So, we all have our yellow brick road to follow.
3. EXT./INT. THE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden pulls up and stops at a sign that reads: “Black Forest Keep Out”
APPREHENSION: As to why the warning.
SUSPENSE: Why the keep out order.
They continue to the campsite by the lake.
4. EXT. BLACK FOREST CAMPSITE BY THE LAKE – NIGHT
Under a full moon, Ashley, Alden, pitch their tent, and just
before climb in for no appearent reason shad begins barking, then
joins them in the tent.
APPREHENSION: Ashley and Alden are curious.
Kate and Cory pitch their ten and just before climbing in, Kate lets her
imagination run wild about giant bugs that may climb into their tent.
APPREHENSION: Not to happy about sleeping on the ground.
Zoey and Gram pitch their tent and before climbing in, Gram kids Zoey
by saying,”Their coming to get you Zoey”, which she doesn’t find funny
at all.
APPREHENSION: Zoey doesn’t find it funny.
In the bushes hiding the monster watches, not making a sound.
Gram decides to go for a jog threw the woods, his nightly routine
when at home.
Gram retuns to camp and notices the motorhome is smoking.
The Group jumps into action rush to put out the elctrical fire,then back
into their tents to sleep.
Cory says he’ll take care of the electrical problem in the morning.
5. EXT. BLACK FOREST CAMPSITE LAKESIDE – MORNING
Under a beautiful blue sky and sunshine morning the entire group are busy
cooking, fishing, swimimg, and having a grand old time together, music in
the background.
Alden has just caught serveral good sized catfish and hands them over to
Kate and Ashley who are doing the grilling on the pit.
Cory works on the electrical problem of the motorhome while sneaking bits
of food when Kate and Ashley are not looking.
Zoey and Gram are swiming, playing vollyball in the lake with Shad doing
his best to take the ball away.
Gram, Zoey, Alden, and Cory comment about how the food smells great,
Shad BARKS!
Alden helps Kate and Ashley help finishing the cooking without getting
in the way.
Ashley says, the food will be ready soon and will be served in the
motorhome.
6. INT. MOTORHOME – NOON
Alden, Gram, Cory are seated at the table while Ashley, Zoey, and Kate
prepare their plates, then they sit down with them and Alden says grace,
they begin eating.
After several bits of the food the complement of how good the meal is fills
the air which causes Ashley and Kate to blush with thanks.
After the meal they resume the day with relaxing around the campsite in
conversation while playing cards, just enjoying nature’s beauty.
7. EXT. BLACK FOREST CAMPSITE – NIGHT
A full moon illuminates the landscape, the CRICKET SOUNDS are heard.
Ashley, Alden and Shad are in their tent preparing to sleep.
Kate and Cory are in conversation as they prepare to sleep.
Zoey and Gram are conversing about how wonderful the day was and
the food before they go to sleep.
Suddenly, the CRICKET SOUNDS go silent.
Shad starts to GROWL and BARK!
There is a LOAD HISSIN followed by a SICK WOLF HOWL!
Everybody jumps out of bed.
APPREHENSION: They don’t know whats going on.
FEAR: Of the unknown all Characters.
PANIC: They have no idea what they are dealing with.
MONSTER REVEAL: Not seen yet, but its something strange.
Shad begins BARKING and GROWELING more, then he runs out the tent in hot pursuit
into the woods after something unknown.
Alden grabs his rifle and follows shad into the woods and tries to catch up.
APPREHENSION: Alden feel the unknown.
8. EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden folows a trail of blood to area of the forest where he
finds Shad’s collar and his fur scattered on the ground, he picks
up the collar.
APPREHENSION: Worred about Shad
FEAR: Shad is dead.
LOSS/EMOTIONAL: He won’t see his dog again.
Alden notes something in the bushes watching him, he can’t see what it
is but he knows it’s there, he keeps his gun on the ready.
CREEPY MOMENT: Alden knows something watching him in the bush.
FEAR: The unknown.
EMOTIONAL: About loosing Shad.
UNNERVING: Death could be stairing at him in the bush.
Alden causiously keeps his attention on the thing in the bushes, then
heads back to camp.
9. EXT. BLACK FOREST CAMPSITE – NIGHT
Everyone in the camp, Ashley, Cory, Kate, Zoey, Gram are gathered
together in cofusion.
APPREHENSION: Unaware of whats going on.
FEAR: Uncertain.
Alden returns with only Shad’s Tags and some of his fur.
Alden hugs Ashley almost in tears.
FEAR: Everyone at campsite.
SUSPENSE: What happend in the forest, and where is Shad.
DREAD: The death of Shad.
STARTLED: They know they are isolated and my be attacked.
They all decide move out of the tents into the motorhome.
10. INT. MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
The Group make their way into the motorhome and bed down for the night.
Cory after working most of the day reparing the burned ignition system,
can’t make repairs.
APPREHENSION: Isolated.
Zoey tries to make a call home on her cell phone, no signal.
APREHENSION: Can’t call home.
ISOLATION: No phone signal.
Gram, and Alden armed decides to share watch duty for the night.
FEAR: Of unwanted visiter.
SUSPENSE: What is stalking them.
The monster is watching the motorhome from the bushes.
11. EXT. CAMPSITE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
The monster enters the camp, ransacking the tents, then goes to
the motorhome and peeps threw the bathroom window.
12. INT. MOTOHOME – NIGHT
A Horror Situation:
Zoey is in the bathroom bushing he teeth, when she spot the monster’s
big eyees enlarged face staring at her, she SCREAMS and runs out of
the bathroom.
SHOCK: The monter’s face.
HYSTERIA: Gets her first look at the monster.
FEAR: Feels helpless.
CREEPY MOMENT: Being watched by a monster.
SCARED: Nearly to death, fear of capture.
Ashley, Kate question what Zoey says she saw, suggest that maybe it
was a bear that she saw, then try to calm her down.
DENIAL: Don’t believe Zoey.
Zoey get pissed because they don’t believe her.
FEAR: For their life.
DREAD: Of what might happen to them.
HYSTERIA: Of the monster capturing them.
SHOCK: There being a monster hunting them.
MONSTER REVEALED: First look at monster.
Suddenly, the motorhome start bouncing and shaking Kate, Ashley start to
believe Zoey.
APPREHENSION: Asley, and Kate are puzzled.
FEAR: The become afraid.
SHOCK: About whats happening.
The monster jumps up and down on the motorhome HISSING, HOWLING LIKE AN
INJURED WOLF, shaking things up and SHOUTS FEED ME over and over.
13. EXT. OUTSIDE MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden, Gram, Cory, go into action each armed, they make their way out of the
motorhome, they get their first look at the monster, and begin shooting.
SHOCK: Their first look at the monster.
FEAR: They know nothing about the monster.
STARTLED: Never seen anything like this before.
EMOTIONAL: They could loose their lives.
DREAD: Must come up with a way to destroy monster.
CREEPY MOMENT: Something they have never seen before.
MONSTER REVEALED: First look at monster.
They make multiple hits, but it doesn’t kill the monster, it runs away into the
darkness of the black forest.
SURPRISE: Bullets won’t kill monster.
Alden, Gram, Cory are sweating, knees kocking, wide eyeed and they can’t believe
what they just saw.
Cory says, we learned one thing about what ever that was, bullets won’t kill
it, maybe fire will.
14. EXT. CAMPSITE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
Later that evening the Thingamajig strikes again this time Kate, Zoey, and Ashley all
get a look at it, as it raids the tents looking for food or one of them.
DREAD: Never seen a monster before.
HYSTERIA: Afraid to die.
FEAR: nearly scared to death.
Ashley, Kate, Zoey CRYING, sweating, Zoey soil herselves.
15. EXT. OUTSIDE MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
Alden, Gram, Cory attack the Thingamajig a battle begins with fire, (molotov cocktails), they miss.
The Thingamajig spits a substance that hits Cory on the leg, he SCREAMS in pain as it burns his
skin, Alden and Gram come to his aid, they stop the pain, by removing a section of clothing in
effected area, the Thingamajig runs into the woods.
Alden, Gram, and Cory pursue the Thingamajig deep into the woods by following his tracks.
16. EXT. CAMPSITE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
The Thingamajig, fooled the Alden, Gram, and Cory, makes his way back to the motorhome, then
tries to break in and capture Kate, Ashley, and Zoey.
17. INT. THE MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
Ashley, Kate, and Zoey are lock inside waiting for Alden, Cory, and Gram to return, they begin hearing
STRANGE NOISES outside the motorhome.
APPREHENSION: Waiting for Aden, Cory, and Gram to return safely.
FEAR: Monster my return.
ANXIETY: Worry, nervous.
Kate peeps outside the window and sees a hairy body runs past, she starts SCREAMING, so do Ashley and Zoey.
they start looking for places to hide.
The Thingamajig starts turning the door knob, trying to get into the motohome, and he’s chanting FEED
ME over and over.
The Thingamajig opens the door to the motorhome, stairing at the girl salivating at the mouth, it GROWLS LIKE
A WOLF, and saying FEED ME, over and over as it is about to enter.
SHOCK: Fears for their lives.
HYSTERIA: Doomed by the monster.
PANIC: Monster my come in motorhome.
DREAD: Death is at the door.
18. EXT./INT. CAMPSITE MOTORHOME – NIGHT
Alden, Cory, and Gram appear, start firing shot at the Thingamajig and it runs into the woods.
Alden, Cory, and Gram rush into the motorhome and hugg their CRYING girl friends.
RELEASE: The girls are saved.
ALDEN
We were chasing the Thingamajig it trick us, we never thought
it would double back here to the motorhome.
19. EXT. CAMPSITE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
The Thingamajig returns and begins HOWLING, near the motorhome, Alden, Cory, and Gram take action, head
out to fight the Thingamajig.
Face to face with the Thingamajig, Alden, Cory, and Gram begin throwing molotov cocktail, but the
Thingamajig is quick, they miss.
Gram moves in close for a better shot with the molotov cocktail.
The Thingamajig charges, grabs Gram, he SCREAMS in pain as the Thingamajig takes a bite out of him,
as it runs into the darkness of the black forest.
Ashley, Kate, and Zoey watch in horror, begin SCREAMING, and close the motorhome door.
Alden and Cory, armed place four molotov cocktails in cooler and head out tracking Gram and
the thingamajig, they follow the Thingamajig’s foot prints to his hideout.
ANGUISH: Gram’s capture.
DREAD: Must try and save Gram.
20. EXT. BLACK FOREST THINGAMAJIG’S HIDEOUT – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
The Thingamajig hideout, a near hole in the ground.
Alden and Cory arrive at the Thingamajig’s cave.
APPREHENSION/SUPENSE: The challenge to try and save Gram and kill the Thingamajig.
ANXIETY/FEAR/CREEPY MOMENT/DISTURBING ENVIRONMENT: They must do what has to be done.
21. INT. THINGAMAJIG’S LAIR – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
Alden and Cory enter the Thingamajig’s lair slowly, molotov cocktails in hand, as they
move deeper into the cave.
Suddenly a BIG BLACK BAT attacks them on his way out of
the cave.
PANIC: They almost run.
SURPISE: The bat scraches them.
CREEPY MOMENT: Being in the Thingamajig’s lair.
In the distance Alden and Cory, HEAR SOUNDS of BONES CRUNCHING, CHEWING, and SWALLOWING,
then it stops.
Alden and Cory look at each other’
APPREHENSION: The sounds in the distance.
FEAR: In the shaddows the Thingamajig waits.
SUSPENSE: Will Gram be alive.
DREAD: What will they find.
Alden and Cory look at each other.(Fear/Anguish)
With blood, gutes, and gleaming sharp teeth, the Thingamajig leaps out, almost grabing Cory,
as he jumps out of the way.
Alden throws a molotov cocktail and misses.
The Thingamajig spits a black paste at Alden, misses, jumps at him,
Cory throws a molotov cocktail, which catches the Thingamajig’s leg on fire.
The Thingamajig WOLF HOWLS in pain.
Alden throws his last molotov cocktail, hitting the Thingamajig’s upper body, he hits
the ground burning, HOWLING.
Alden and Cory fire several shots into the Thingamajig’s body, as it burns, then it morphs
into something even more hideous.
As it burns the Thingamajig morphs to a BIG MAGGOT, then to ASH.
RELEASE: Finally they kill the Thingamajig.
The go deeper into the cave and they find the half eaten body of Gram, they stair at his body,
both almost in tears.
DREAD: For their friend.
ANGUIH: They couldn’t save Gram.
GROSSED OUT: To see his half eaten body.
CREEPY MOMENT: Being in the cave.
22. EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden and Cory carry what’s left of Gram’s body out of the cave, then bury his remains in the
black forest, and head back to camp.
EMOTIONAL: Hurt for Gram’s loss.
23. EXT./INT. MOTORHOME CAMPSITE – NIGHT
Ashley, Kate, Zoey stand at the motorhome happy to see Alden, informs them that Gram is
dead, and so is the monster, Zoey begins CRYING.
ANGUISH:CRYING for her lost love.
24. EXT. THE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Together with Ashley, Cate, Zoey, Alden and Cory gather their things and begin hikeing their
way out to the main road to catch a ride back to town for help.
RELEASE: Headed home.
As they walk huddled threw the black forest there is movement in the bushes.
Ashley, Cate, and Zoey start SCREAMING, Alden and Cory take aim.
Out walks an EIGHT POINT BUCK, looks at them, then wanders back into the woods.
They all take a deep breath, sigh of relief.
STARTLED: Thought it was another monster.
EMOTIONAL: Sared
RELEASE: False alarm, no threat.
25. EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
What appears as a falling star lights the sky, then lands near the lake.
CLOSE ON – A Thingamajig sureys the forest, grimaceing look on his face, looks at
the moon, HISSES and INJURED WOLF HOWLS into the night…
SUSPENSE: Who will be next, time will tell.
FADE OUT
-
Lesson 1: How Paid Writing Assignments Work
Subject Line (Huey J Williams) Projects and Insights
What I Learned:
I got an overview of the requirement, duties, and challenges
of paid writing assignments, mostly how to succeed.
PROJECT ONE:
2 to 3 million Budget
Subject Line:(Huey J. Williams) Horror Outline
What I learned on my second rewrite:
The person that did my feedback pointed out some important details
that i overlooked.
My main improvement was to pay attention to details.
I can’t think of anything person could have done better.
Title: “THE THINGAMAJIG”
Logline:
A Group of High School Graduates celebrate, before leaving for college
with a camping trip in the woods, that they will never forget.
Horror Outline Follows:
THE THINGAMAJIG – HORROR SITUATION TRACK
1. EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
NOTE: OPENING SCENE
Horror Situation:
A forest near a lake illuminated by a full moon, the sounds of desperate
HISSING, and INJURED WOLF GROWL, QUICK THUMPING HITTING THE GROUND, slithers
threw the bush in hot pursuit of a EIGHT POINT BUCK.
The Buck SHRIEKS in pain when something in the bushes rips off it’s feet and
begins devouring it, bones CRUNCHING SOUNDS.
CLOSE ON – Just the monster’s mouth chewing is seen, as it takes big bites of
dear meat.
The forest goes silent.
CLOSE ON – SCREECH OWL SHRIEKS, as he watches from a tree.
2. INT. MOTORHOME – NIGHT
A Group of High School Graduates celebrate, before leaving for college
with a camping trip in the woods.
ALDEN drives the motorhome, most expirenced at camping, SHAD his dog liying
at his side CORY rides shotgun, GRAM, ASHLEY, KATE, and ZOEY sit together at
the table in conversation all close friends throughout High School.
All in conversation about the fun they had in High School as they travel.
Zoey says “I remember the great time we had prom night, Gram you were so hansome
in your tuxs and I had on one the most formal gowns I have ever worn”, then she
complains about going on camping trips, she prefers the city life. I’m going to
miss you all while attending University of Southern California while studing
Cinema and writing.
APPREHENSION: Knows very little about camping.
Kate lets her imagination sometimes cause her to fear having new experiences
she believes in monsters and the bogyman, she has entertained the whole group
with her stories the entire trip. Kate says ” We had so much fun in High School,
the beach parties, going to scary movies together, how are we going live being so
far appart I’ll be attending Duke University, Durham, North Carolins, earning
my Nursing Degree”.
Ashley, the mother type, Zoey and Kate look up to her for guidance when things
get out of the ordinary. Ashley says “Well I’ll be attending Yale University,
New Haven, Connecticut, Law School, and I will alway be thinking about all the fun
we’ve had together, Alden, I’ll miss you most, you really know how to show a girl
an exciting time, it has never been a dull moment”.
Gram, says, “I’ll be attending Columbia University, New York City, I will studing
Coaching, first High School, then College, maybe even the Professional Team. I
have the skills from my experience and what I’ve learned being on the Varsity
Team in High School. I’ll really miss you all.
Cory, says, me, “I’ll be attending Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Cambridge
Massachusetts, you have always calling me a Brainiac and since I do have the skills
I’ll fit in well at MIT”. High School was really a lot of fun, especially having you as
friends, and after college I’m sure we’ll reconnect,
Alden, says, “Kate, I’ll miss your vivid imagination. Cory, I miss your enlarged mind,
you brainiac. Gram, I’ll miss youre athleticism, and understanding. Zoey, I’ll miss your
upper class character, and your fashion skills. Ashley, I’ll miss you most, my sweetheart
your intellegent, loveable demeanor, Ashley approaches him and he kisses her on the cheek
I’ll be thinking of you all, while attending University of Pennsylvania, Philadelphia
Pennsylvania, studying Business/Economics, my Dad wants me to take over the Family Sport
Shop”. So, we all have our yellow brick road to follow.
3. EXT./INT. THE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden pulls up and stops at a sign that reads: “Black Forest Keep Out”
APPREHENSION: As to why the warning.
SUSPENSE: Why the keep out order.
They continue to the campsite by the lake.
4. EXT. BLACK FOREST CAMPSITE BY THE LAKE – NIGHT
Under a full moon, Ashley, Alden, pitch their tent, and just
before climb in for no appearent reason shad begins barking, then
joins them in the tent.
APPREHENSION: Ashley and Alden are curious.
Kate and Cory pitch their ten and just before climbing in, Kate lets her
imagination run wild about giant bugs that may climb into their tent.
APPREHENSION: Not to happy about sleeping on the ground.
Zoey and Gram pitch their tent and before climbing in, Gram kids Zoey
by saying,”Their coming to get you Zoey”, which she doesn’t find funny
at all.
APPREHENSION: Zoey doesn’t find it funny.
In the bushes hiding the monster watches, not making a sound.
Gram decides to go for a jog threw the woods, his nightly routine
when at home.
Gram retuns to camp and notices the motorhome is smoking.
The Group jumps into action rush to put out the elctrical fire,then back
into their tents to sleep.
Cory says he’ll take care of the electrical problem in the morning.
5. EXT. BLACK FOREST CAMPSITE LAKESIDE – MORNING
Under a beautiful blue sky and sunshine morning the entire group are busy
cooking, fishing, swimimg, and having a grand old time together, music in
the background.
Alden has just caught serveral good sized catfish and hands them over to
Kate and Ashley who are doing the grilling on the pit.
Cory works on the electrical problem of the motorhome while sneaking bits
of food when Kate and Ashley are not looking.
Zoey and Gram are swiming, playing vollyball in the lake with Shad doing
his best to take the ball away.
Gram, Zoey, Alden, and Cory comment about how the food smells great,
Shad BARKS!
Alden helps Kate and Ashley help finishing the cooking without getting
in the way.
Ashley says, the food will be ready soon and will be served in the
motorhome.
6. INT. MOTORHOME – NOON
Alden, Gram, Cory are seated at the table while Ashley, Zoey, and Kate
prepare their plates, then they sit down with them and Alden says grace,
they begin eating.
After several bits of the food the complement of how good the meal is fills
the air which causes Ashley and Kate to blush with thanks.
After the meal they resume the day with relaxing around the campsite in
conversation while playing cards, just enjoying nature’s beauty.
7. EXT. BLACK FOREST CAMPSITE – NIGHT
A full moon illuminates the landscape, the CRICKET SOUNDS are heard.
Ashley, Alden and Shad are in their tent preparing to sleep.
Kate and Cory are in conversation as they prepare to sleep.
Zoey and Gram are conversing about how wonderful the day was and
the food before they go to sleep.
Suddenly, the CRICKET SOUNDS go silent.
Shad starts to GROWL and BARK!
There is a LOAD HISSIN followed by a SICK WOLF HOWL!
Everybody jumps out of bed.
APPREHENSION: They don’t know whats going on.
FEAR: Of the unknown all Characters.
PANIC: They have no idea what they are dealing with.
MONSTER REVEAL: Not seen yet, but its something strange.
Shad begins BARKING and GROWELING more, then he runs out the tent in hot pursuit
into the woods after something unknown.
Alden grabs his rifle and follows shad into the woods and tries to catch up.
APPREHENSION: Alden feel the unknown.
8. EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden folows a trail of blood to area of the forest where he
finds Shad’s collar and his fur scattered on the ground, he picks
up the collar.
APPREHENSION: Worred about Shad
FEAR: Shad is dead.
LOSS/EMOTIONAL: He won’t see his dog again.
Alden notes something in the bushes watching him, he can’t see what it
is but he knows it’s there, he keeps his gun on the ready.
CREEPY MOMENT: Alden knows something watching him in the bush.
FEAR: The unknown.
EMOTIONAL: About loosing Shad.
UNNERVING: Death could be stairing at him in the bush.
Alden causiously keeps his attention on the thing in the bushes, then
heads back to camp.
9. EXT. BLACK FOREST CAMPSITE – NIGHT
Everyone in the camp, Ashley, Cory, Kate, Zoey, Gram are gathered
together in cofusion.
APPREHENSION: Unaware of whats going on.
FEAR: Uncertain.
Alden returns with only Shad’s Tags and some of his fur.
Alden hugs Ashley almost in tears.
FEAR: Everyone at campsite.
SUSPENSE: What happend in the forest, and where is Shad.
DREAD: The death of Shad.
STARTLED: They know they are isolated and my be attacked.
They all decide move out of the tents into the motorhome.
10. INT. MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
The Group make their way into the motorhome and bed down for the night.
Cory after working most of the day reparing the burned ignition system,
can’t make repairs.
APPREHENSION: Isolated.
Zoey tries to make a call home on her cell phone, no signal.
APREHENSION: Can’t call home.
ISOLATION: No phone signal.
Gram, and Alden armed decides to share watch duty for the night.
FEAR: Of unwanted visiter.
SUSPENSE: What is stalking them.
The monster is watching the motorhome from the bushes.
11. EXT. CAMPSITE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
The monster enters the camp, ransacking the tents, then goes to
the motorhome and peeps threw the bathroom window.
12. INT. MOTOHOME – NIGHT
A Horror Situation:
Zoey is in the bathroom bushing he teeth, when she spot the monster’s
big eyees enlarged face staring at her, she SCREAMS and runs out of
the bathroom.
SHOCK: The monter’s face.
HYSTERIA: Gets her first look at the monster.
FEAR: Feels helpless.
CREEPY MOMENT: Being watched by a monster.
SCARED: Nearly to death, fear of capture.
Ashley, Kate question what Zoey says she saw, suggest that maybe it
was a bear that she saw, then try to calm her down.
DENIAL: Don’t believe Zoey.
Zoey get pissed because they don’t believe her.
FEAR: For their life.
DREAD: Of what might happen to them.
HYSTERIA: Of the monster capturing them.
SHOCK: There being a monster hunting them.
MONSTER REVEALED: First look at monster.
Suddenly, the motorhome start bouncing and shaking Kate, Ashley start to
believe Zoey.
APPREHENSION: Asley, and Kate are puzzled.
FEAR: The become afraid.
SHOCK: About whats happening.
The monster jumps up and down on the motorhome HISSING, HOWLING LIKE AN
INJURED WOLF, shaking things up and SHOUTS FEED ME over and over.
13. EXT. OUTSIDE MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden, Gram, Cory, go into action each armed, they make their way out of the
motorhome, they get their first look at the monster, and begin shooting.
SHOCK: Their first look at the monster.
FEAR: They know nothing about the monster.
STARTLED: Never seen anything like this before.
EMOTIONAL: They could loose their lives.
DREAD: Must come up with a way to destroy monster.
CREEPY MOMENT: Something they have never seen before.
MONSTER REVEALED: First look at monster.
They make multiple hits, but it doesn’t kill the monster, it runs away into the
darkness of the black forest.
SURPRISE: Bullets won’t kill monster.
Alden, Gram, Cory are sweating, knees kocking, wide eyeed and they can’t believe
what they just saw.
Cory says, we learned one thing about what ever that was, bullets won’t kill
it, maybe fire will.
14. EXT. CAMPSITE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
Later that evening the Thingamajig strikes again this time Kate, Zoey, and Ashley all
get a look at it, as it raids the tents looking for food or one of them.
DREAD: Never seen a monster before.
HYSTERIA: Afraid to die.
FEAR: nearly scared to death.
Ashley, Kate, Zoey CRYING, sweating, Zoey soil herselves.
15. EXT. OUTSIDE MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
Alden, Gram, Cory attack the Thingamajig a battle begins with fire, (molotov cocktails), they miss.
The Thingamajig spits a substance that hits Cory on the leg, he SCREAMS in pain as it burns his
skin, Alden and Gram come to his aid, they stop the pain, by removing a section of clothing in
effected area, the Thingamajig runs into the woods.
Alden, Gram, and Cory pursue the Thingamajig deep into the woods by following his tracks.
16. EXT. CAMPSITE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
The Thingamajig, fooled the Alden, Gram, and Cory, makes his way back to the motorhome, then
tries to break in and capture Kate, Ashley, and Zoey.
17. INT. THE MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
Ashley, Kate, and Zoey are lock inside waiting for Alden, Cory, and Gram to return, they begin hearing
STRANGE NOISES outside the motorhome.
APPREHENSION: Waiting for Aden, Cory, and Gram to return safely.
FEAR: Monster my return.
ANXIETY: Worry, nervous.
Kate peeps outside the window and sees a hairy body runs past, she starts SCREAMING, so do Ashley and Zoey.
they start looking for places to hide.
The Thingamajig starts turning the door knob, trying to get into the motohome, and he’s chanting FEED
ME over and over.
The Thingamajig opens the door to the motorhome, stairing at the girl salivating at the mouth, it GROWLS LIKE
A WOLF, and saying FEED ME, over and over as it is about to enter.
SHOCK: Fears for their lives.
HYSTERIA: Doomed by the monster.
PANIC: Monster my come in motorhome.
DREAD: Death is at the door.
18. EXT./INT. CAMPSITE MOTORHOME – NIGHT
Alden, Cory, and Gram appear, start firing shot at the Thingamajig and it runs into the woods.
Alden, Cory, and Gram rush into the motorhome and hugg their CRYING girl friends.
RELEASE: The girls are saved.
ALDEN
We were chasing the Thingamajig it trick us, we never thought
it would double back here to the motorhome.
19. EXT. CAMPSITE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
The Thingamajig returns and begins HOWLING, near the motorhome, Alden, Cory, and Gram take action, head
out to fight the Thingamajig.
Face to face with the Thingamajig, Alden, Cory, and Gram begin throwing molotov cocktail, but the
Thingamajig is quick, they miss.
Gram moves in close for a better shot with the molotov cocktail.
The Thingamajig charges, grabs Gram, he SCREAMS in pain as the Thingamajig takes a bite out of him,
as it runs into the darkness of the black forest.
Ashley, Kate, and Zoey watch in horror, begin SCREAMING, and close the motorhome door.
Alden and Cory, armed place four molotov cocktails in cooler and head out tracking Gram and
the thingamajig, they follow the Thingamajig’s foot prints to his hideout.
ANGUISH: Gram’s capture.
DREAD: Must try and save Gram.
20. EXT. BLACK FOREST THINGAMAJIG’S HIDEOUT – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
The Thingamajig hideout, a near hole in the ground.
Alden and Cory arrive at the Thingamajig’s cave.
APPREHENSION/SUPENSE: The challenge to try and save Gram and kill the Thingamajig.
ANXIETY/FEAR/CREEPY MOMENT/DISTURBING ENVIRONMENT: They must do what has to be done.
21. INT. THINGAMAJIG’S LAIR – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
Alden and Cory enter the Thingamajig’s lair slowly, molotov cocktails in hand, as they
move deeper into the cave.
Suddenly a BIG BLACK BAT attacks them on his way out of
the cave.
PANIC: They almost run.
SURPISE: The bat scraches them.
CREEPY MOMENT: Being in the Thingamajig’s lair.
In the distance Alden and Cory, HEAR SOUNDS of BONES CRUNCHING, CHEWING, and SWALLOWING,
then it stops.
Alden and Cory look at each other’
APPREHENSION: The sounds in the distance.
FEAR: In the shaddows the Thingamajig waits.
SUSPENSE: Will Gram be alive.
DREAD: What will they find.
Alden and Cory look at each other.(Fear/Anguish)
With blood, gutes, and gleaming sharp teeth, the Thingamajig leaps out, almost grabing Cory,
as he jumps out of the way.
Alden throws a molotov cocktail and misses.
The Thingamajig spits a black paste at Alden, misses, jumps at him,
Cory throws a molotov cocktail, which catches the Thingamajig’s leg on fire.
The Thingamajig WOLF HOWLS in pain.
Alden throws his last molotov cocktail, hitting the Thingamajig’s upper body, he hits
the ground burning, HOWLING.
Alden and Cory fire several shots into the Thingamajig’s body, as it burns, then it morphs
into something even more hideous.
As it burns the Thingamajig morphs to a BIG MAGGOT, then to ASH.
RELEASE: Finally they kill the Thingamajig.
The go deeper into the cave and they find the half eaten body of Gram, they stair at his body,
both almost in tears.
DREAD: For their friend.
ANGUIH: They couldn’t save Gram.
GROSSED OUT: To see his half eaten body.
CREEPY MOMENT: Being in the cave.
22. EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden and Cory carry what’s left of Gram’s body out of the cave, then bury his remains in the
black forest, and head back to camp.
EMOTIONAL: Hurt for Gram’s loss.
23. EXT./INT. MOTORHOME CAMPSITE – NIGHT
Ashley, Kate, Zoey stand at the motorhome happy to see Alden, informs them that Gram is
dead, and so is the monster, Zoey begins CRYING.
ANGUISH:CRYING for her lost love.
24. EXT. THE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Together with Ashley, Cate, Zoey, Alden and Cory gather their things and begin hikeing their
way out to the main road to catch a ride back to town for help.
RELEASE: Headed home.
As they walk huddled threw the black forest there is movement in the bushes.
Ashley, Cate, and Zoey start SCREAMING, Alden and Cory take aim.
Out walks an EIGHT POINT BUCK, looks at them, then wanders back into the woods.
They all take a deep breath, sigh of relief.
STARTLED: Thought it was another monster.
EMOTIONAL: Sared
RELEASE: False alarm, no threat.
25. EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
What appears as a falling star lights the sky, then lands near the lake.
CLOSE ON – A Thingamajig sureys the forest, grimaceing look on his face, looks at
the moon, HISSES and INJURED WOLF HOWLS into the night…
SUSPENSE: Who will be next, time will tell.
FADE OUT
PROJECT TWO:
1 to 2 million
I wrote this for THE TWILIGHT ZONE Televions Show.
THE PITCH:
JOHN BIGSBY, retired a man of many talents, and experiences, wishes to return
to youth knowing the things life has taught him at his present age. (Be careful
what you wish for…)
GENRE: FANTICY
TITLE: “The Dream”
FADE IN:
1.INT. JOHN BIGSBY’S HOUSE – AFTERNOON
John Bigsby stands at the livingroom window watching the CHILDREN play in the
nieghborhood playground. The energy of the children makes him tired, he heads
for the bedroom for his daily constitutional.(a nap)
John lies down on his bed, momment later he falls asleep, he begins dreaming.
DISSOLVE
2.EXT. DOWNTOWN STREET – TIMELESS
Young John Bigsby stands on a busy downtown street not much older than nineteen
years of age, touching himself all over, aches, pains gone, wrinkles, hair loss
gone, a whole new spirit radiates within him head to toe.
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
Boy, I feel great! And I can see a mile
away, wow!
A help wanted sign, the sign reads “Labor position available, apply here” catches
Young John Bigsby’s attention and he answers the call, he hurries into the building.
3.EXT. BUSY CONSTRUCTION SITE – TIMELESS
Young John Bigsby, hard hat, gloves, tool belt, carrying scaffold supplies.
His Foreman TED watches him, noticing that he is a hard worker.
4.EXT,/INT. HOMELESS SHELTER – TIMELLESS
Homeless Young John Bigsby makes his way into the homeless shelter for a meal, a
shower and a bed.
During his week stay at the shelter he’s surrounded by SHADY CHARACTERS. ONE MAN
tries to take his tool belt, there’s a tussle.
Young John Bigsby kicks the man in the chest, he falls to the floor, the man gets
up and walks away.
Several days later the man returns with TWO OTHER MEN, Young John Bigsby assumes his
Martial Arts stance prepared for battle.
All three men decide not to fight and walk away.
5.EXT. BUSY CONSTRUCTION SITE – TIMELESS
Young John Bigsby hammers away as part of the framing crew, a promotion.
FOREMAN TED
John, you’re doing a great job.
Foreman Ted hands Young John his first paycheck.
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
Just doing my job, Sir.
Young John hurries back to work.
6.EXT./INT. BROKERAGE FIRM – TIMELESS
Young John Bigsby opens an account, deposits his check, and keeps enough
money to get a room.
7.INT. YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY ROOM – TIMELESS
A shabby little room, a cockroach or two, but it keeps the elements out, it’s
private and it has an internet connection.
The following week after work Young John Bigsby stops by a pawn shop, purchases
a used Iphone and the games a foot.
8.INT. UBER CAB DRIVER DRIVING THE CITY STREET – TIMELESS
Young John Bigsby sits in back of headed for the Malibu Horse Racetrack.
9.EXT. MALIBU HORSE RACETRACK – TIMELESS
Young John Bigsby exits the uber cab and hurries into the track and places a bet
just before the races starts.
Young John Bigsby in the stands jumping, cheering as his picks cross the finish
line first, second, third, just as he bet, and the cash starts trickle in.
10.EXT. BUSY CONSTRUCTION SITE – TIMELESS
The beeping sounds of a flatbed Truck backin up with a heavy load of building supplies
comes to a stop in unloading area.
Young John Bigsby sit on a forklift and begins unloading pallets of concrete, lumber,
roofing materials, etc.
Foreman Ted watches as Young John Bigsby places items in the appropriate place, without
supervision. Foreman gives John a thumbs up.
Young John salutes him.
SEVERAL of the OTHER WORKERS set out to betray Young John, they put a garden snake in
his locker out of jealousy.
Young John discovers the snake when he opens his locker, picks up the snake and walks
past the other workers with it in hand.
11.INT. UBER CAB – TIMELESS
Young John Bigsby sits in back the uber cab headed for the Malibu Race Track.
12.EXT. MALIBU HORSERACE TRACK – TIMELESS
Immediately after getting out of the cab Young John Bigsby is surroundrd by BIG MONEY PLAYERS
dressed to kill.
Young John Bigsby places five big money bets, then heads to the stands prepares for the race.
The BEAUTIFUL THERAEBEDE HORSES stand on two legs eager to race as the HANDLERS place them into
the barriers. Young John watches from the stands.
MONTAGE:
Five races take place.
All of Young John’s picks hit!
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
Like taking candy from a baby!
Young John Bigsby collects his six fiqure cashiers check, has SECURITY walk him to his waiting
Chauffer Uber Driver, he hops in and they drive away.
On the way home Young John treats his Chauffer to an expensive dinner at the best restaurant,
in town, then slips him a very large tip.
13.EXT. AN AFFLUENT NIEGHBORHOOD – TIMELESS
Young John meets up with a REALTOR who shows him his dream house, after the walk threw, then
reaching a price.
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
I’ll take it, do you take cash?
REALTOR
Of course. I’ll draw up bill of sale immediately!
Young John accompanies the Realtor to her office, signs the paperwork, hands her the check.
REALTOR
You can move in five days, it’s been a pleasure doing
business with you Mr. Bigsby.
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
I’ll need an Interior Decorator, who could you recommend?
The Realtor hands John a card with the Interior Decorator’s info and the shake hands
and he leaves.
14.EXT. BUSY CONSTRUCTION SITE – TIMELESS
Young John sits with the FRAMING CREW at lunch time.
Young John walks over to the Foreman’s trailer and enters.
15.INT. FOREMAN’S TRAILER – TIMELESS
Young John enters and goes in Foreman Ted’s office.
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
Sir, I will be leaving in five days, personal business
to attend to.
FOREMAN TED
Sorry to hear that, you’re doing such a good job,I hope
it’s not serious.
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
No, it’s not at all, something that I half to do.
FOREMAN TED
You are an asset to the company, if its money, I’ll be
glad to increase your pay.
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
That won’t be necessary, I’ll work five more days, that’s
my notice.
Young John extends his hand, they shake and he leaves the trailer and heads back to work.
16.EXT. MERCEDES DEALER – TIMELESS
Young John, dressed in formal attire, shaved, well trimmed hair cut, plenty of cash walks the
Mercedes lot looking but not finding his dream car. He enters the showroom.
17.INT. MERCEDES DEALER – TIMELESS
Young John wonders the showroom floor, stops in his tracks when he lands on the Mercedes Mansory
AMG E635, love at first sight, he hops into the drivers seat.
The SALESMAN approaches, Young John hops out of the car.
SALESMAN
Welcome to the Dealership, how may I help you?
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
Yes, I would like to drive the Mansory AMG E635, please.
SALESMAN
I’m sorry Sir, but this a very expensive car and I can’t
let you…
Young John stops the Salesman in the middle of his sentence, when he takes a large roll
of Thousand Dollar Bills from his pocket.
It captures the Salesman’s attention, his undivided attention.
SALESMAN
Just a minute Sir, I’ll get the keys!
After the test drive, paperwork, Young John pays cash, leaves showroom.
18.EXT. MERCEDES DEALER – TIMELESS
Young John leaves the Dealer, hops into his Mercedes AMG, and drives away.
19.EXT. COASTLINE OCEAN VIEW HIGHWAY – TIMELESS
As though racing the Great Nurburg Ring in Germany, Young John negotiates the winding
coastal road with grace, as he becomes one with the AMG E635…
20.EXT./ INT. YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY’S NEW DIGS – TIMELESS
Young John approaches his home, pulls into the garage, before going into the house, stops,
stairs at the AMG as if giving the car a big hug, then enters the house.
The decor of the house is young man cave, with all the toys, Young John logs on to his
computer to check the bond, forex, futures, Market, then takes a dip in the pool.
The phone rings, Young John exits the pool, answers the phone.
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
Hello!
No one answers just HEAVY BREATHING, then they hang up.
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
That’s strange, probably a wrong number.
Young John takes a shower, gets dressed and goes for a ride to explore the town in which he lives.
21.INT./EXT. DOWNTOWN CITY – TIMELESS
Young John rides all over town studying the Business district, the City Hall, the Merchants, etc.,
his final tour ends in the redlight district.
Young John recieves whistles and waves from a VERY BEAUTIFUL GROUP OF WOMEN standing on the corners
in short, tight attire as he drives by.
Red and blue lights flash on him just as he leaves the redlight district, a POLICE OFFICER
pulls him over and walks up to the car.
POLICE OFFICER
License, registration, and prof of Insurance, please?
Young John complies with the request, hands the Officer the information.
POLICE OFFICER
I pull you over, because your car has no plates, just a temporary,
there has been a lot of car thiefts in this area. Do your Parents
know you are out driving their car?
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
Yes, they know, my DAD lets me drive the car all the time.
The Officer hands Young John back his documents.
POLICE OFFICER
It would be wise for you to stay out of the redlight district, I’ll
be keeping an eye on you.
Young John is released and drives away.
Young John stops at a redlight and a car stops next to him with FOUR MEN inside, they stair at
him, the man in the front passenger seat make an unfriendly remark.
MAN IN CAR
Out showing off in Daddy’s car, are we? I bet you
just got your license yesterday, you little squirt.
Young John gives them the Mafia gangster gun hand icon and drives away. The men laugh at him.
Young John tries to live as secluded as possible, but his wealth, lifestyle, intellect, is making
the TOWNS PEOPLE very curious, how a young man his age can have so much, be so mature, and
where is his PARENTS. They aren’t the only ones taking notice, the MOB, his NEIGHBORS and EVERYONE
ELSE, and they all want a piece of the action.
22.INT./EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD MARKET -TIMELESS
Young John pulls into the supermarket, parks and enters and begins shopping, starting with vegetables,
then meats, poultry, spices, water, juices, snacks.
There’s a Beautiful Young girl following him from isle to isle and she gets closer and close until they
bump into one another, they smile and gaze into each other’s eyes.
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
Excuse me! Did I bump you or did you bump, I was busy
thinking about what I’m cooking for dinner.
JERRI NELSON
It’s my fault, I wasn’t watching where I was going, I’m
Jerri Nelson and you are?
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
John, John Bigsby, it’s a pleasure meeting you.
Jerri and John take each others hand and continue gazing into each other’s eyes.
JERRI NELSON
What are cooking for dinner?
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
One of my gourmet specials, roast lamb salad, something
lite.
JERRI NELSON
That sounds delicious, your lady will love that.
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
I don’t have a lady at the momment.
JERRI NELSON
I would love to be your lady, and have dinner with you,
ask me!
They both smile from ear to ear.
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
Jerri Nelson, will you have dinner with me?
JERRI NELSON
John, I would love to have dinner with you.
Jerri and John finish shopping, they leave the Market, he takes her home and agrees
to pick her up in an hour, he goes home, prepares the meal and gets dressed in formal
attire.
23.INT. YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY’S DIGS – TIMELESS
Jerri a picture of beauty, John a Prince face each other sipping a glass of expensive
win by candle light, soft music in the background, gazing into each other’s eyes.
JERRI NELSON
That was a wonderful meal, everything is so romantic.
You are an excellent cook, we must do this again.
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
Jerri, you are so beautiful, I would do anything to please
you, take you to the most beautiful places in the world.
JERRI NELSON
Dance with me.
John takes Jerri by the hand and they begin slow dancing, her head on his shoulder, it’s
the begining of many wonderful momments together…
The town is showing a deep interest in Young John and his Family, they roll out a red carpet
welcome.
MONTAGE:
Young John and his Parents invites to –
Dinner Engagements,
Fund Raisers,
Political Functions,
Church Socials,
In every gathering that Young John attended he nearly ran out of excuses why his parents weren’t
there with him. He decided to invite Jerri over and tell her what was really going on.
24.INT. YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY’S HOUSE – TIMELESS
Jerri and John are sitting together comfortablely.
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
I don’t know if you will understand this, but I’m
living a dream, I have no Parents, and I will be
leaving soon.
JERRI NELSON
Where will you go, can I go with you, I will where
ever it is.
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
You won’t be able to come with me, it’s a different
world.
There’s a forceful knock at the door.
Young John answers the door, nearly pushed to the floor as it opens it’s the MOB, the BOSS and
TWO of HIS BOYS and the Boss starts immediately barking out oders.
THE BOSS
John, that’s your name right, sit down next to your
girl, and don’t say a word until I tell you to speak.
Now, I heard about your horse race game, how you make
the big bets and win everytime. I want in on the action,
I’m I making myself clear? Now you can talk.
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
And if I won’t cut you in, then what?
THE BOSS
Then I’ll have my two boys, rough you up a bit until you
will.
A fight breakes out between John, Jerri, the Boss and the Two Men, when the dust settles
John, Jerri and the Two Men are dead, the Boss gets away…
25.INT. JOHN BIGSBY’S HOUSE – AFTERNOON
John Bigsby wake ups in a cold sweat, shaking. He gets up out of bed, and prepares himself
a hot cup of tea, sits at the kitchen table.
There is a knock at the door, John answers it, standing in the door is Jerri Nelson, same
age as John, gazing into each others eyes.
JOHN BIGSBY
Have we met?
JERRI NELSON
It seems that way, my name is Jerri, Jerri Nelson, I live
two houses down.
JOHN BIGSBY
Would you like to share a hot cup of tea with me, just brewed?
JERRI NELSON
I would love to.
JOHN BIGSBY
Then do come in.
They smile at one another, she enters John’s house and he closes the door, they begin chating
is heard as everything fades to black…
THE END
FADE OUT
-
I enjoyed reading your outline, it’s a Zombie movie, it has some comedy which makes it
even more interesting and engageing.
Here’s my outline:
Day 16: Time to Exchange Feedback
Subject Line:(Huey J. Williams) Horror Outline Version 2
What I learned on my second rewrite:
The person that did my feedback pointed out some important details
that i overlooked.
My main improvement was to pay attention to details.
I can’t think of anything person could have done better.
Title: “THE THINGAMAJIG”
Logline:
A Group of High School Graduates celebrate, before leaving for college
with a camping trip in the woods, that they will never forget.
Horror Outline Follows:
THE THINGAMAJIG – HORROR SITUATION TRACK
1. EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
NOTE: OPENING SCENE
Horror Situation:
A forest near a lake illuminated by a full moon, the sounds of desperate
HISSING, and INJURED WOLF GROWL, QUICK THUMPING HITTING THE GROUND, slithers
threw the bush in hot pursuit of a EIGHT POINT BUCK.
The Buck SHRIEKS in pain when something in the bushes rips off it’s feet and
begins devouring it, bones CRUNCHING SOUNDS.
CLOSE ON – Just the monster’s mouth chewing is seen, as it takes big bites of
dear meat.
The forest goes silent.
CLOSE ON – SCREECH OWL SHRIEKS, as he watches from a tree.
2. INT. MOTORHOME – NIGHT
A Group of High School Graduates celebrate, before leaving for college
with a camping trip in the woods.
ALDEN drives the motorhome, most expirenced at camping, SHAD his dog liying
at his side CORY rides shotgun, GRAM, ASHLEY, KATE, and ZOEY sit together at
the table in conversation all close friends throughout High School.
All in conversation about the fun they had in High School as they travel.
Zoey says “I remember the great time we had prom night, Gram you were so hansome
in your tuxs and I had on one the most formal gowns I have ever worn”, then she
complains about going on camping trips, she prefers the city life. I’m going to
miss you all while attending University of Southern California while studing
Cinema and writing.
APPREHENSION: Knows very little about camping.
Kate lets her imagination sometimes cause her to fear having new experiences
she believes in monsters and the bogyman, she has entertained the whole group
with her stories the entire trip. Kate says ” We had so much fun in High School,
the beach parties, going to scary movies together, how are we going live being so
far appart I’ll be attending Duke University, Durham, North Carolins, earning
my Nursing Degree”.
Ashley, the mother type, Zoey and Kate look up to her for guidance when things
get out of the ordinary. Ashley says “Well I’ll be attending Yale University,
New Haven, Connecticut, Law School, and I will alway be thinking about all the fun
we’ve had together, Alden, I’ll miss you most, you really know how to show a girl
an exciting time, it has never been a dull moment”.
Gram, says, “I’ll be attending Columbia University, New York City, I will studing
Coaching, first High School, then College, maybe even the Professional Team. I
have the skills from my experience and what I’ve learned being on the Varsity
Team in High School. I’ll really miss you all.
Cory, says, me, “I’ll be attending Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Cambridge
Massachusetts, you have always calling me a Brainiac and since I do have the skills
I’ll fit in well at MIT”. High School was really a lot of fun, especially having you as
friends, and after college I’m sure we’ll reconnect,
Alden, says, “Kate, I’ll miss your vivid imagination. Cory, I miss your enlarged mind,
you brainiac. Gram, I’ll miss youre athleticism, and understanding. Zoey, I’ll miss your
upper class character, and your fashion skills. Ashley, I’ll miss you most, my sweetheart
your intellegent, loveable demeanor, Ashley approaches him and he kisses her on the cheek
I’ll be thinking of you all, while attending University of Pennsylvania, Philadelphia
Pennsylvania, studying Business/Economics, my Dad wants me to take over the Family Sport
Shop”. So, we all have our yellow brick road to follow.
3. EXT./INT. THE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden pulls up and stops at a sign that reads: “Black Forest Keep Out”
APPREHENSION: As to why the warning.
SUSPENSE: Why the keep out order.
They continue to the campsite by the lake.
4. EXT. BLACK FOREST CAMPSITE BY THE LAKE – NIGHT
Under a full moon, Ashley, Alden, pitch their tent, and just
before climb in for no appearent reason shad begins barking, then
joins them in the tent.
APPREHENSION: Ashley and Alden are curious.
Kate and Cory pitch their ten and just before climbing in, Kate lets her
imagination run wild about giant bugs that may climb into their tent.
APPREHENSION: Not to happy about sleeping on the ground.
Zoey and Gram pitch their tent and before climbing in, Gram kids Zoey
by saying,”Their coming to get you Zoey”, which she doesn’t find funny
at all.
APPREHENSION: Zoey doesn’t find it funny.
In the bushes hiding the monster watches, not making a sound.
Gram decides to go for a jog threw the woods, his nightly routine
when at home.
Gram retuns to camp and notices the motorhome is smoking.
The Group jumps into action rush to put out the elctrical fire,then back
into their tents to sleep.
Cory says he’ll take care of the electrical problem in the morning.
5. EXT. BLACK FOREST CAMPSITE LAKESIDE – MORNING
Under a beautiful blue sky and sunshine morning the entire group are busy
cooking, fishing, swimimg, and having a grand old time together, music in
the background.
Alden has just caught serveral good sized catfish and hands them over to
Kate and Ashley who are doing the grilling on the pit.
Cory works on the electrical problem of the motorhome while sneaking bits
of food when Kate and Ashley are not looking.
Zoey and Gram are swiming, playing vollyball in the lake with Shad doing
his best to take the ball away.
Gram, Zoey, Alden, and Cory comment about how the food smells great,
Shad BARKS!
Alden helps Kate and Ashley help finishing the cooking without getting
in the way.
Ashley says, the food will be ready soon and will be served in the
motorhome.
6. INT. MOTORHOME – NOON
Alden, Gram, Cory are seated at the table while Ashley, Zoey, and Kate
prepare their plates, then they sit down with them and Alden says grace,
they begin eating.
After several bits of the food the complement of how good the meal is fills
the air which causes Ashley and Kate to blush with thanks.
After the meal they resume the day with relaxing around the campsite in
conversation while playing cards, just enjoying nature’s beauty.
7. EXT. BLACK FOREST CAMPSITE – NIGHT
A full moon illuminates the landscape, the CRICKET SOUNDS are heard.
Ashley, Alden and Shad are in their tent preparing to sleep.
Kate and Cory are in conversation as they prepare to sleep.
Zoey and Gram are conversing about how wonderful the day was and
the food before they go to sleep.
Suddenly, the CRICKET SOUNDS go silent.
Shad starts to GROWL and BARK!
There is a LOAD HISSIN followed by a SICK WOLF HOWL!
Everybody jumps out of bed.
APPREHENSION: They don’t know whats going on.
FEAR: Of the unknown all Characters.
PANIC: They have no idea what they are dealing with.
MONSTER REVEAL: Not seen yet, but its something strange.
Shad begins BARKING and GROWELING more, then he runs out the tent in hot pursuit
into the woods after something unknown.
Alden grabs his rifle and follows shad into the woods and tries to catch up.
APPREHENSION: Alden feel the unknown.
8. EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden folows a trail of blood to area of the forest where he
finds Shad’s collar and his fur scattered on the ground, he picks
up the collar.
APPREHENSION: Worred about Shad
FEAR: Shad is dead.
LOSS/EMOTIONAL: He won’t see his dog again.
Alden notes something in the bushes watching him, he can’t see what it
is but he knows it’s there, he keeps his gun on the ready.
CREEPY MOMENT: Alden knows something watching him in the bush.
FEAR: The unknown.
EMOTIONAL: About loosing Shad.
UNNERVING: Death could be stairing at him in the bush.
Alden causiously keeps his attention on the thing in the bushes, then
heads back to camp.
9. EXT. BLACK FOREST CAMPSITE – NIGHT
Everyone in the camp, Ashley, Cory, Kate, Zoey, Gram are gathered
together in cofusion.
APPREHENSION: Unaware of whats going on.
FEAR: Uncertain.
Alden returns with only Shad’s Tags and some of his fur.
Alden hugs Ashley almost in tears.
FEAR: Everyone at campsite.
SUSPENSE: What happend in the forest, and where is Shad.
DREAD: The death of Shad.
STARTLED: They know they are isolated and my be attacked.
They all decide move out of the tents into the motorhome.
10. INT. MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
The Group make their way into the motorhome and bed down for the night.
Cory after working most of the day reparing the burned ignition system,
can’t make repairs.
APPREHENSION: Isolated.
Zoey tries to make a call home on her cell phone, no signal.
APREHENSION: Can’t call home.
ISOLATION: No phone signal.
Gram, and Alden armed decides to share watch duty for the night.
FEAR: Of unwanted visiter.
SUSPENSE: What is stalking them.
The monster is watching the motorhome from the bushes.
11. EXT. CAMPSITE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
The monster enters the camp, ransacking the tents, then goes to
the motorhome and peeps threw the bathroom window.
12. INT. MOTOHOME – NIGHT
A Horror Situation:
Zoey is in the bathroom bushing he teeth, when she spot the monster’s
big eyees enlarged face staring at her, she SCREAMS and runs out of
the bathroom.
SHOCK: The monter’s face.
HYSTERIA: Gets her first look at the monster.
FEAR: Feels helpless.
CREEPY MOMENT: Being watched by a monster.
SCARED: Nearly to death, fear of capture.
Ashley, Kate question what Zoey says she saw, suggest that maybe it
was a bear that she saw, then try to calm her down.
DENIAL: Don’t believe Zoey.
Zoey get pissed because they don’t believe her.
FEAR: For their life.
DREAD: Of what might happen to them.
HYSTERIA: Of the monster capturing them.
SHOCK: There being a monster hunting them.
MONSTER REVEALED: First look at monster.
Suddenly, the motorhome start bouncing and shaking Kate, Ashley start to
believe Zoey.
APPREHENSION: Asley, and Kate are puzzled.
FEAR: The become afraid.
SHOCK: About whats happening.
The monster jumps up and down on the motorhome HISSING, HOWLING LIKE AN
INJURED WOLF, shaking things up and SHOUTS FEED ME over and over.
13. EXT. OUTSIDE MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden, Gram, Cory, go into action each armed, they make their way out of the
motorhome, they get their first look at the monster, and begin shooting.
SHOCK: Their first look at the monster.
FEAR: They know nothing about the monster.
STARTLED: Never seen anything like this before.
EMOTIONAL: They could loose their lives.
DREAD: Must come up with a way to destroy monster.
CREEPY MOMENT: Something they have never seen before.
MONSTER REVEALED: First look at monster.
They make multiple hits, but it doesn’t kill the monster, it runs away into the
darkness of the black forest.
SURPRISE: Bullets won’t kill monster.
Alden, Gram, Cory are sweating, knees kocking, wide eyeed and they can’t believe
what they just saw.
Cory says, we learned one thing about what ever that was, bullets won’t kill
it, maybe fire will.
14. EXT. CAMPSITE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
Later that evening the Thingamajig strikes again this time Kate, Zoey, and Ashley all
get a look at it, as it raids the tents looking for food or one of them.
DREAD: Never seen a monster before.
HYSTERIA: Afraid to die.
FEAR: nearly scared to death.
Ashley, Kate, Zoey CRYING, sweating, Zoey soil herselves.
15. EXT. OUTSIDE MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
Alden, Gram, Cory attack the Thingamajig a battle begins with fire, (molotov cocktails), they miss.
The Thingamajig spits a substance that hits Cory on the leg, he SCREAMS in pain as it burns his
skin, Alden and Gram come to his aid, they stop the pain, by removing a section of clothing in
effected area, the Thingamajig runs into the woods.
Alden, Gram, and Cory pursue the Thingamajig deep into the woods by following his tracks.
16. EXT. CAMPSITE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
The Thingamajig, fooled the Alden, Gram, and Cory, makes his way back to the motorhome, then
tries to break in and capture Kate, Ashley, and Zoey.
17. INT. THE MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
Ashley, Kate, and Zoey are lock inside waiting for Alden, Cory, and Gram to return, they begin hearing
STRANGE NOISES outside the motorhome.
APPREHENSION: Waiting for Aden, Cory, and Gram to return safely.
FEAR: Monster my return.
ANXIETY: Worry, nervous.
Kate peeps outside the window and sees a hairy body runs past, she starts SCREAMING, so do Ashley and Zoey.
they start looking for places to hide.
The Thingamajig starts turning the door knob, trying to get into the motohome, and he’s chanting FEED
ME over and over.
The Thingamajig opens the door to the motorhome, stairing at the girl salivating at the mouth, it GROWLS LIKE
A WOLF, and saying FEED ME, over and over as it is about to enter.
SHOCK: Fears for their lives.
HYSTERIA: Doomed by the monster.
PANIC: Monster my come in motorhome.
DREAD: Death is at the door.
18. EXT./INT. CAMPSITE MOTORHOME – NIGHT
Alden, Cory, and Gram appear, start firing shot at the Thingamajig and it runs into the woods.
Alden, Cory, and Gram rush into the motorhome and hugg their CRYING girl friends.
RELEASE: The girls are saved.
ALDEN
We were chasing the Thingamajig it trick us, we never thought
it would double back here to the motorhome.
19. EXT. CAMPSITE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
The Thingamajig returns and begins HOWLING, near the motorhome, Alden, Cory, and Gram take action, head
out to fight the Thingamajig.
Face to face with the Thingamajig, Alden, Cory, and Gram begin throwing molotov cocktail, but the
Thingamajig is quick, they miss.
Gram moves in close for a better shot with the molotov cocktail.
The Thingamajig charges, grabs Gram, he SCREAMS in pain as the Thingamajig takes a bite out of him,
as it runs into the darkness of the black forest.
Ashley, Kate, and Zoey watch in horror, begin SCREAMING, and close the motorhome door.
Alden and Cory, armed place four molotov cocktails in cooler and head out tracking Gram and
the thingamajig, they follow the Thingamajig’s foot prints to his hideout.
ANGUISH: Gram’s capture.
DREAD: Must try and save Gram.
20. EXT. BLACK FOREST THINGAMAJIG’S HIDEOUT – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
The Thingamajig hideout, a near hole in the ground.
Alden and Cory arrive at the Thingamajig’s cave.
APPREHENSION/SUPENSE: The challenge to try and save Gram and kill the Thingamajig.
ANXIETY/FEAR/CREEPY MOMENT/DISTURBING ENVIRONMENT: They must do what has to be done.
21. INT. THINGAMAJIG’S LAIR – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
Alden and Cory enter the Thingamajig’s lair slowly, molotov cocktails in hand, as they
move deeper into the cave.
Suddenly a BIG BLACK BAT attacks them on his way out of
the cave.
PANIC: They almost run.
SURPISE: The bat scraches them.
CREEPY MOMENT: Being in the Thingamajig’s lair.
In the distance Alden and Cory, HEAR SOUNDS of BONES CRUNCHING, CHEWING, and SWALLOWING,
then it stops.
Alden and Cory look at each other’
APPREHENSION: The sounds in the distance.
FEAR: In the shaddows the Thingamajig waits.
SUSPENSE: Will Gram be alive.
DREAD: What will they find.
Alden and Cory look at each other.(Fear/Anguish)
With blood, gutes, and gleaming sharp teeth, the Thingamajig leaps out, almost grabing Cory,
as he jumps out of the way.
Alden throws a molotov cocktail and misses.
The Thingamajig spits a black paste at Alden, misses, jumps at him,
Cory throws a molotov cocktail, which catches the Thingamajig’s leg on fire.
The Thingamajig WOLF HOWLS in pain.
Alden throws his last molotov cocktail, hitting the Thingamajig’s upper body, he hits
the ground burning, HOWLING.
Alden and Cory fire several shots into the Thingamajig’s body, as it burns, then it morphs
into something even more hideous.
As it burns the Thingamajig morphs to a BIG MAGGOT, then to ASH.
RELEASE: Finally they kill the Thingamajig.
The go deeper into the cave and they find the half eaten body of Gram, they stair at his body,
both almost in tears.
DREAD: For their friend.
ANGUIH: They couldn’t save Gram.
GROSSED OUT: To see his half eaten body.
CREEPY MOMENT: Being in the cave.
22. EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden and Cory carry what’s left of Gram’s body out of the cave, then bury his remains in the
black forest, and head back to camp.
EMOTIONAL: Hurt for Gram’s loss.
23. EXT./INT. MOTORHOME CAMPSITE – NIGHT
Ashley, Kate, Zoey stand at the motorhome happy to see Alden, informs them that Gram is
dead, and so is the monster, Zoey begins CRYING.
ANGUISH:CRYING for her lost love.
24. EXT. THE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Together with Ashley, Cate, Zoey, Alden and Cory gather their things and begin hikeing their
way out to the main road to catch a ride back to town for help.
RELEASE: Headed home.
As they walk huddled threw the black forest there is movement in the bushes.
Ashley, Cate, and Zoey start SCREAMING, Alden and Cory take aim.
Out walks an EIGHT POINT BUCK, looks at them, then wanders back into the woods.
They all take a deep breath, sigh of relief.
STARTLED: Thought it was another monster.
EMOTIONAL: Sared
RELEASE: False alarm, no threat.
25. EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
What appears as a falling star lights the sky, then lands near the lake.
CLOSE ON – A Thingamajig sureys the forest, grimaceing look on his face, looks at
the moon, HISSES and INJURED WOLF HOWLS into the night…
SUSPENSE: Who will be next, time will tell.
FADE OUT
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Wow, you have been very helpful, after reading your story which is very detailed I know I have some rewiting to do. Your suggestion are noteworthy, you sound like a Producer. I’ll rewrite the outline and get back to you, if it’s OK.
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Tony J, your story about Vampires is very detail and interesting, I enjoyed reading it, thanks, I’ll be giving my next outline rewrite I be more detailed. Thanks
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Tony J Scott, do you have a partner to exchange feedback with,if not I would like
to team up with you, do let me know.
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Hi Huey,
Congratulations on completing “Horror Scripts that Terrify Audiences†class. This program was designed to get you through the most important part of writing a Horror screenplay – building horror into the outline.
Below is an evaluation. I’m looking forward to finding out about your experience of the program and reading your comments about it. To fill it out, just reply to this email and fill in your answers.
You can continue to exchange feedback on your Horror outlines in the forums.
Hope to hear about your screenplay winning contests, being optioned, and ultimately making it to the big screen!
Hal
HORROR EVALUATION
1. Please rate the value you have received from this program on a 1 (poor) to 10 (excellent) scale.
(10) Overall value of the Horror program
(10) As a learning experience
(10) The Horror Model
(10) The quality of your Horror Outline
2. How do you feel this program has improved your ability to write a horror story?
Gave me what I needed to start writting Horror.
3. Can you rate the value you have received from each lesson on a 1 (poor) to 10 (excellent) scale.
Excellent, value for the price.
(10) 1. Horror Concept and Conventions
(10) 2. Crafting Your Monster!
(10) 3. Survivors and Victims
(10) 4. The Horror Plot Track
(10) 5. Horror Situation Track
(10) 6. Character Death Track
(10) 7. Monster Reveal Track
(10) 8. Character Journey Track
(10) 9. Make Your Outline Readable
(10) 10. Level 1 Horror Emotions: Apprehension, Surprise and Shock
(10) 11. Level 2 Horror Emotions: Fear, Suspense and Dread
(10) 12. Level 3 Horror Emotions: Anguish, Panic, Horror and Hysteria
(10) 13. Scares, Releases and Creepy Moments
(10) 14. Writing Scary-as-Hell Scenes
(10) 15. Keeping It Low Budget
4. What were the main breakthroughs and insights you had?
Using the methods and instructions provided by ScreenwritingU made it
easy to brainstorm my way into a story, the rest was simple.
5. Would you recommend the Horror class to others? If so, what would you say to them?
Yes
6. Any questions or comments?
It would be important to hear an instuctor’s feedback.
7. Do I have your permission to use any of these comments in the promotion of this program?
Yes
Thanks in advance for your evaluation.
Hal
——————————
Copyright 2016 – 2021, Hal Croasmun, All rights reserved
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Lesson 15: Finishing Horror Outline Powerfully
Subject Line:(Huey J. Williams) Horror Outline Version 1
What I Learned:
Its fun and not so difficult to create Horror Stories, the step by step
method that ScreenwritingU teaches makes everything understandable,
educational, and straightforward. The one step at a time method.
I like the “Horror Map” of a scene concept, it’s a guide that keeps
you focused. I had a lot of fun writing this Horror Story.
THE THINGAMAJIG – HORROR SITUATION TRACK
1. EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
NOTE: OPENING SCENE
Horror Situation:
A forest near a lake illuminated by a full moon, the sounds of desperate
HISSING, and INJURED WOLF GROWL, QUICK THUMPING HITTING THE GROUND, slithers
threw the bush in hot pursuit of a EIGHT POINT BUCK.
The Buck SHRIEKS in pain when something in the bushes rips off it’s feet and
begins devouring it, bones CRUNCHING SOUNDS.
CLOSE ON – Just the monster’s mouth chewing is seen, as it takes big bites of
dear meat.
The forest goes silent.
CLOSE ON – SCREECH OWL SHRIEKS, as he watches from a tree.
2. INT. MOTORHOME – NIGHT
A Group of High School Graduates celebrate, before leaving for college
with a camping trip in the woods.
ALDEN drives the motorhome, SHAD his dog liying at his side CORY rides shotgun,
GRAM, ASHLEY, CATE, and ZOEY sit together at the table, all close friends
throughout High School.
Alden pulls up and stops at a sign that reads: “Black Forest Keep Out”
APPREHENSION: As to why the warning.
SUSPENSE: Why the keep out order.
They continue to the campsite by the lake.
3. EXT. BLACK FOREST CAMPSITE BY THE LAKE – NIGHT
Under a full moon, Ashley, Alden, and Shad pitch their tent and climb in.
Cate and Cory pitch their ten and climb in.
Zoey and Gram pitch their tent and climb in.
In the bushes hiding the monster watches, not making a sound.
Gram decides to go for a jog threw the woods, his nightly routine.
Gram retuns to camp and notices the motorhome is smoking.
The Group jumps into action rush to put out the elctrical fire, then back into their tents.
4. EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Suddenly, there is a LOAD HISSIN followed by a SICK WOLF HOWL!
Everybody jumps out of bed.
APPREHENSION:They are isolated.
CREEPY MOMENT: Alden goes after Shad.
FEAR: Of the unknown all Characters.
PANIC: They have no idea what they are dealing with.
MONSTER REVEAL: Not seen yet, but its something strange.
Shad begins BARKING and GROWELING, then he runs out the tent in hot pursuit
into the woods after the monster.
Alden grabs his rifle and follows shad and tries to catch up into the woods.
5. EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden enters area of the forest where he finds Shad’s collar and his fur scattered
on the ground, he picks up the collar.
Alden notes something in the bushes watching him, he can’t see what it
is but he knows it’s there, he keeps his gun on the ready as he heads back to
camp.
CREEPY MOMENT: Alden knows something watching him in the bush.
FEAR: The unknown.
EMOTIONAL: About loosing Shad.
UNNERVING: Death could be stairing at him in the bush.
6. EXT. BLACK FOREST CAMPSITE – NIGHT
Everyone in the camp, Ashley, Cory, Cate, Zoey, except for Gram are gathered
together in terror huging each other.
Alden returns with only Shad’s Tags and some of his fur.
Alden hugs Ashley almost in tears.
FEAR: Everyone at campsite.
SUSPENSE: What happend in the forest, and where is Shad.
DREAD: The death of Shad.
STARTLED: They know they are isolated and my be attacked.
They all move out of the tents into the motorhome.
7. INT. MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
The Group make their way into the motorhome and bed down for the night.
Zoey tries to make a call home on her cell phone, no signal.
APREHENSION: Can’t call home.
ISOLATION: No phone signal.
Gram, and Alden armed decides to share watch duty for the night.
FEAR: Of unwanted visiter.
SUSPENSE: What is stalking them.
The monster is watching the motorhome in the bushes.
8. EXT. CAMPSITE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
The monster enters the camp, ransacking the tents, then goes to
the motorhome and peeps threw the bathroom window.
9. INT. MOTOHOME – NIGHT
A Horror Situation:
Zoey is in the bathroom bushing he teeth, when she spot the monster’s
big eyees enlarged face staring at her, she SCREAMS and runs out of
the bathroom.
SHOCK: The monter’s face.
HYSTERIA: Gets her first look at the monster.
FEAR: Feels helpless.
CREEPY MOMENT: Being watched by a monster.
SCARED: Nearly to death, fear capture.
Zoey, Ashley, Cate begin SCREAMING as LOUD as they can!
FEAR: For their life.
DREAD: Of what might happen to them.
HYSTERIA: Of the monster capturing them.
SHOCK: There being a monster hunting them.
MONSTER REVEALED: First look at monster.
The monster jumps up and downon the motorhome HISSING, HOWLING LIKE AN
INJURED WOLF, shaking things up and SHOUTS FEED ME over and over.
10. EXT. OUTSIDE MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden, Gram, Cory, go into action each armed, they make their way out of the
motorhome they get their first look at the monster, and begin shooting.
SHOCK: Their first look at the monster.
FEAR: They know nothing about the monster.
STARTLED: Never seen anything like this before.
EMOTIONAL: They could loose their lives.
DREAD: Must come up with a way to destroy monster.
CREEPY MOMENT: Something they have never seen before.
MONSTER REVEALED: First look at monster.
They make multiple hits, but it doesn’t kill the monster, it runs away into the
darkness.
SURPRISE: Bullets won’t kill monster.
Alden, Gram, Cory are sweating, knees kocking, wide eyeed and they can’t believe
what they just saw.
11. EXT. CAMPSITE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
Later that evening the Thingamajig strikes again this time Cate, Zoey, and Ashley all
get a look at it, as it raids the tents looking for food or one of them.
DREAD: Never seen a monster before.
HYSTERIA: Afraid to die.
FEAR: nearly scared to death.
Ashley, Cate, Zoey CRYING, sweating, Zoey soil herselves.
12. EXT. OUTSIDE MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden, Gram, Cory attack the Thingamajig a battle begins with fire, (molotov cocktails), they miss,
and they chase the Thingamajig, it’s tracks leads them deep into the black forest.
The Thingamajig, makes his way back to the motorhome.
13. INT. THE MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
Ashley, Cate, and Zoey are lock inside waiting for Alden, Cory, and Gram to return, they begin hearing
STRANGE NOISES outside the motorhome.
APPREHENSION: Waiting for Aden, Cory, and Gram to return safely.
FEAR: Monster my return.
ANXIETY: Worry, nervous.
Cate peeps outside the window and sees a hairy body runs past, she starts SCREAMING, so do Ashley and Zoey.
The Thingamajig starts turning the door knob, trying to get into the motohome, and he’s chanting FEED
ME over and over.
The Thingamajig opens the door to the motorhome, stairing at the girl salivating at the mouth, it GROWLS LIKE
A WOLF as it is about to enter.
SHOCK: Fears for their lives.
HYSTERIA: Doomed by the monster.
PANIC: Monster my come in motorhome.
DREAD: Death is at the door.
14. EXT./INT. CAMPSITE MOTORHOME – NIGHT
Alden, Cory, and Gram appear, start firing shot at the Thingamajig and it runs into the woods.
Alden, Cory, and Gram rush into the motorhome and hugg their CRYING girl friends.
RELEASE: The girls are saved.
ALDEN
We were chasing the Thingamajig it trick us, we never thought
it would double back here to the motorhome.
15. EXT. CAMPSITE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
The Thingamajig returns and begins HOWLING, near the motorhome, Alden, Cory, and Gram take action, head
out to fight the Thingamajig.
Face to face with the Thingamajig, Alden, Cory, and Gram begin throwing molotov cocktail, but the
Thingamajig is quick, they miss.
Gram moves in close for a better shot with the molotov cocktail.
The Thingamajig charges, grabs Gram, runs into the darkness of the forest.
Ashley, Cate, and Zoey watch and begin SCREAMING, and close the motorhome door, hide.
Alden and Cory, armed place four molotov cocktails in cooler and head out tracking Gram and
the thingamajig, they follow the Thingamajig’s foot prints to his hideout.
ANGUISH: Gram’s capture.
DREAD: Must try and save Gram.
16. EXT. BLACK FOREST THINGAMAJIG’S HIDEOUT – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
The Thingamajig hideout, a near hole in the ground.
Alden and Cory arrive at the Thingamajig’s cave.
APPREHENSION/SUPENSE: The challenge to try and save Gram and kill the Thingamajig.
ANXIETY/FEAR/CREEPY MOMENT/DISTURBING ENVIRONMENT: They must do what has to be done.
17. INT. THINGAMAJIG’S LAIR – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
Alden and Cory enter the Thingamajig’s lair slowly, molotov cocktails in hand, as they
move deeper into the cave.
Suddenly a BIG BLACK BAT attacks them on his way out of
the cave.
PANIC: They almost run.
SURPISE: The bat scraches them.
CREEPY MOMENT: Being in the Thingamajig’s lair.
In the distance Alden and Cory, hear sounds of BONES CRUNCHING, CHEWING, and SWALLOWING,
then it stops.
Alden and Cory look at each other’
APPREHENSION: The sounds in the distance.
FEAR: In the shaddows the Thingamajig waits.
SUSPENSE: Will Gram be alive.
DREAD: What will they find.
Alden and Cory look at each other.(Fear/Anguish)
With blood, gutes, and gleaming sharp teeth, the Thingamajig leaps out, almost grabing Cory,
as he jumps out of the way.
Alden throws a molotov cocktail and misses.
The Thingamajig spits a black paste at Alden, misses, jumps at him,
Cory throws a molotov cocktail, which catches the Thingamajig’s leg on fire.
The Thingamajig WOLF HOWLS in pain.
Alden throws his last molotov cocktail, hitting the Thingamajig’s upper body, he hits
the ground burning, HOWLING.
Alden and Cory fire several shots into the Thingamajig’s body, as it burns, then it morphs
into something even more hideous.
As it burns the Thingamajig morphs to a BIG MAGGOT, then to ASH.
RELEASE: Finally the kill the Thingamajig.
The go deeper into the cave and they find the half eaten body of Gram, they stair at his body,
both almost in tears, they bury whats left of Gram’s body and head back to camp.
DREAD: For their friend.
ANGUIH: They couldn’t save Gram.
GROSSED OUT: To see his half eaten body.
CREEPY MOMENT: Being in the cave.
18. EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden and Cory take Gram’s body out of the cave and bury him in the forest, then make their
way back to the camp.
19. EXT./INT. MOTORHOME – NIGHT
Ashley, Cate, Zoey stand at the motorhome happy to see Alden, informs then that Gram is
dead, and so is the monster, Zoey begins CRYING.
ANGUISH:CRYING for her lost love.
20. EXT. THE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Together with Ashley, Cate, Zoey, Alden and Cory hike their way out to the main road,
where they catch a ride back to town for help.
RELEASE: Headed home.
As they walk huddled threw the black forest there is movement in the bushes.
Ashley, Cate, and Zoey start SCREAMING, Alden and Cory take aim.
Out walks an EIGHT POINT BUCK, looks at them, then wanders back into the woods.
They all take a deep breath, sigh of relief.
STARTLED: Thought it was another monster.
EMOTIONAL: Sared
RELEASE: False alarm, no threat.
21. EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
What appears as a falling star lights the sky, then lands near the lake.
CLOSE ON – A Thingamajig sureys the forest, grimaceing look on his face, looks at
the moon, HISSES and INJURED WOLF HOWLS into the night…
SUSPENSE: Who will be next, time will tell.
FADE OUT
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Lesson 14: Scary – As – Hell Scenes
Subject Line:(Huey J. Williams) Scary – As – Hell Scene
What I Learned:
Its fun and not so difficult to create Horror Stories, the step by step
method that ScreenwritingU teaches makes everything understandable,
educational, and straightforward. The one step at a time method.
I like the “Horror Map” of a scene concept, it’s a guide that keeps
you focused.
THE PITCH:
A Group of High School Graduates celebrate, before leaving for college
with a camping trip in the woods, that they will never forget.
TITLE: “THE THINGAMAJIG”
GENRE: HORROR
FADE IN:
EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
A forest near a lake illuminated by a full moon, the sounds of desperate
HISSING, and INJURED WOLF GROWL, QUICK THUMPING HITTING THE GROUND, slithers
threw the bush in hot pursuit of a EIGHT POINT BUCK.(Suspense/Dread for Deer)
The Buck SHRIEKS in pain when something in the bushes rips off it’s feet and
begins devouring it, bones CRUNCHING SOUNDS.
CLOSE ON – Just the monster’s mouth chewing is seen, as it takes big bites of
dear meat.(Suspense/Intrigue)
The forest goes silent.
CLOSE ON – SCREECH OWL SHRIEKS, as he watches from a tree.
INT. MOTORHOME – NIGHT
ALDEN drives the motorhome, SHAD his dog liying at his side CORY rides shotgun,
GRAM, ASHLEY, CATE, and ZOEY sit together at the table, all close friends
throughout High School.
Alden pulls up and stops at a sign that reads: “Black Forest Keep Out”
ALDEN
Keep out, my Dad and I have spent many hunting
seasons here, we’ve captured some of the bigest
bucks in the region, perfect dear hunting.
ASHLEY
Ok, lets go home, I don’t feel like getting shot
with rock salt. Do you remember what happend when
we raided that cherry orchard last sumer.
CORY
It’s probably a prank, pay it no mind, we’re here
lets go camping.
CATE
Cory, every since we’ve been together you always say
that prank bit, and you’re never right.
GRAM
Lets go for it, what do we have to loose, all they
can do is kick us out, if they find us.
ZOEY
Cate, I agree, I don’t like going to stange places
uninvited, especially in the woods. Its no telling
what we may find, or run into, there could be GHOSTS,
MONSTERS, maybe even a MAD KILLER.(Apprehension/Anxiety/Emotional)
Everyone in the motorhome starts LAUGHING.
ALDEN
Cate you need to chill out, I think you watch to much TV.
Then it’s settled!
They continue to the camp sight by the lake.
EXT. BLACK FOREST CAMPSITE BY THE LAKE – NIGHT
Under a full moon, Ashley, Alden, and Shad pitch their tent and climb in.
Cate and Cory pitch their ten and climb in.
Zoey and Gram pitch their tent and climb in.
In the bushes hiding the monster watches, not making a sound.
Gram decides to go for a jog threw the woods, his nightly routine.
Gram retuns to camp and notices the motorhome is smoking.
GRAM
Hay guys the motorhome is smoking!
The Group jumps into action rushes into the motorhome putting out the
electrical fire.(Startling)
ASHLEY
Now we’re trapped out in the middle of nowhere,
what’s next, someone gets lost, or maybe killed.(Apprehension/Anxiety)
ALDEN
Ashley, don’t be such a baby. Nothing like that
will happen, Shad and I will protect you.
They put the electrical fire out, return to their tents, all is
quiet.
CORY
I’ll fix the electrical problem in the morning.
Suddenly, there is a LOAD HISSIN followed by a SICK WOLF HOWL!(Surprise/Fear/Suspense/Startling)
Everybody jumps out of bed.
EVERYBODY
What was that! What the hell was that!
Shad begins BARKING and GROWELING, then he runs out the tent in hot pursuit
into the woods after the monster.(Creepy moment)
Alden grabs his rifle and follows shad and tries to catch up into the woods.
EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden enters area of the forest where he finds Shad’s collar and his fur scattered
on the ground, he picks up the collar.
Alden notes something in the bushes watching him, he can’t see what it
is but he knows it’s there, he keeps his gun on the ready as he heads back to
camp.Creepy Moment/Emotional/Unnerving)
EXT. BLACK FOREST CAMPSITE – NIGHT
Everyone in the camp, Ashley, Cory, Cate, Zoey, except for Gram are gathered
together in terror huging each other.(Fear/Suspense/Dread/Startled)
Alden returns with only Shad’s Tags and some of his fur.
Alden hugs Ashley almost in tears.
ALDEN
Shad is gone, he die protecting us, all I found was his
tages, his fur was scattered all over the ground.
GRAM
Shad was an excellent hunter, I bet he went out fighting.
ALDEN
There’s more, while I gathered Shads things, I fealt like
I was being watched by something hiding in the
bushes. I couldn’t see it but it was there
watching me. I kept my rifle ready as I left.(Apprehension/Anxiety/Fear/Dread/Scare)
The Group hugs each other tighter as Alden told the story of what he saw.
GRAM
Alden, how many extra guns did you bring?
ALDEN
The hand gun on me, my rifle, there is a hand
gun and rifle in the motorhome.
GRAM
I think we should leave the tents set up, but
everyone sleep in the motorhome tonight.
ALDEN
I agree.
INT. MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
The Group make their way into the motorhome and bed down for the night.
Zoey tries to make a call home on her cell phone, no signal.(Surprise)
ZOEY
There’s no signal out here, I can’t make a call,
now we’re really screwed. Gram, if anything happens
to me, I’ll, I’ll, you better protect me.
GRAM
As long as you’re with me love, I’m your
Superman, you know that.
Gram, and Alden armed decides to share watch duty for the night.
The monster is watching the motorhome in the bushes.
The monster enters the camp, ransacking the tents, then goes to
the motorhome and peeps threw the bathroom window.
Zoey is in the bathroom bushing he teeth, when she spot the monster’s
big eyees enlarged face staring at her, she SCREAMS and runs out of
the bathroom.(Shock/Hysteria/Fear/Creepy Moment/Scare)
ZOEY
There’s a monster out there, he’s peeping in
the bathroom window! His face was horrible, big
eyes, ugly face, I don’t think I will sleep tonight!
Zoey, Ashley, Cate begin SCREAMING as LOAD as they can!(Fear/Dread/Hysteria/Shock)
The monster jumps up and downon the motorhome HISSING, HOWLING LIKE AN
INJURED WOLF, shaking things up.
THE MONSTER
FEED ME! FEED ME! over and over.
EXT. OUTSIDE MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden, Gram, Cory, go into action each armed, they make their way out of the
motorhome they get their first look at the monster, and begin shooting.(Shock/Fear/Dread/Startled/Emotional)
They make multiple hits, but it doesn’t kill the monster, as it runs away into the
darkness.(Surprise)
Alden, Gram, Cory are sweating, knees kocking, wide eyeed and they can’t believe
what they just saw.(Creepy Moment/ Scare)
GRAM
What the hell was that!
ALDEN
The Girls are hysterical, but they must know what we are
dealing with. We have to come up with a way to kill this
THINGAMAJIG, what ever it is.
CORY
It looked hungry, its either us or it, the
Thingamajig, that’s a good name for it.
That’s what it looks like a Thingamajig.
We’ve learned something about it tonight,
bullets won’t kill it, mybe fire will.
Alden, Gram, Cory head back into the motorhome, they have some explaining to do
with the girls.
ALDEN
I wish I had a better way to tell you this,
but we’re being hunted, by something we have
named the Thingamajig. We promise you, we’ill
protect you, we have a plan.
Later that evening the Thingamajig strikes again this time Cate, Zoey, and Ashley all
get a look at it, as it raids the tents looking for food or one of them.(Dread,Hysteria,Fear/Scare)
Ashley, Cate, Zoey become hysterical, CRYING, sweating, Zoey soil herselves.(Fear/Hysteria/Shock)
EXT. OUTSIDE MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden, Gram, Cory attack the Thingamajig a battle begins with fire, (molotov cocktails), they miss,
and they chase the Thingamajig, it’s tracks leads them deep into the black forest.
The Thingamajig, makes his way back to the motorhome.
INT. THE MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Ashley, Cate, and Zoey are lock inside waiting for Alden, Cory, and Gram to return, they begin hearing
STRANGE NOISES outside the motorhome,(Anxiety)
Cate peeps outside the window and sees a hairy body runs past, she starts SCREAMING, so do Ashley and Zoey.
(ShocK/Fear)
The Thingamajig starts turning the door knob trying to get into the motorhome.(Dread/Panic)
THINGAMAJIG
FEED ME! FEED ME! over and over!
Ashley, Cate, and Zoey are SCREAMING, CRYING and clinging to each other.(Hysteria/Dread)
The Thingamajig opens the door to the motorhome, stairing at the girl salivating at the mouth, it GROWLS LIKE
A WOLF as it is about to enter.(Hyteria/Dread/Shock)
EXT./INT. CAMPSITE MOTORHOME – NIGHT
Alden, Cory, and Gram appear, start firing shot at the Thingamajig and it runs into the woods.(Release)
Alden, Cory, and Gram rush into the motorhome and hugg their CRYING girl friends. (Release)
ASHLEY CATE ZOEY
We thought we were dead, the monster was about to take us!
ALDEN
We were chasing the Thingamajig it trick us, we never thought
it would double back here to the motorhome.
The Thingamajig returns and begins HOWLING, near the motorhome, Alden, Cory, and Gram take action, head
out to fight the Thingamajig.
Face to face with the Thingamajig, Alden, Cory, and Gram begin throwing molotov cocktail, but the
Thingamajig is quick, they miss.
Gram moves in close for a better shot with the molotov cocktail.
The Thingamajig charges, grabs Gram, runs into the darkness of the forest.(Dread/Horror/Shock)
Ashley, Cate, and Zoey watch and begin SCREAMING, and close the motorhome door, hide.
Alden and Cory, armed place four molotov cocktails in cooler and head out tracking Gram and
the thingamajig, they follow the Thingamajig’s foot prints to his hideout.
(Anguish/Panic/Creepy Moment)
EXT. BLACK FOREST THINGAMAJIG’S HIDEOUT – NIGHT
The Thingamajig hideout, a near hole in the ground.
Alden and Cory arrive at the Thingamajig’s cave.
(Apprehension/Anxiety/Fear/Creepy Moment/Disturbing Environment)
ALDEN
We found it’s hideout.
CORY
It looks like a spooky place, oneway in,
oneway out.
INT. THINGAMAJIG’S LAIR – NIGHT
Alden and Cory enter the Thingamajig’s lair slowly, molotov cocktails in hand, as they
move deeper into the cave, suddenly a BIG BLACK BAT attacks them on his way out of
the cave.(PANIC/HORROR/Surprise/Startled/Scare/Creepy Moment)
In the distance Alden and Cory, hear sounds of BONES CRUNCHING, CHEWING, and SWALLOWING,
then it stops.(Anguish/Panic/Horror)
Alden and Cory look at each other.(Fear/Anguish)
With blood, gutes, and gleaming sharp teeth, the Thingamajig leaps out, almost grabing Cory,
as he jumps out of the way.
Alden throws a molotov cocktail and misses.(Horror/Panic/Hysteria)
The Thingamajig spits a black paste at Alden, misses, jumps at him, a foot away,
then Cory throws a molotov cocktail, which catches the Thingamajig’s leg on fire.
The Thingamajig WOLF HOWLS in pain.
Alden throws his last molotov cocktail, hitting the Thingamajig’s upper body, he hits
the ground burning, HOWLING.
Alden and Cory fire several shots into the Thingamajig’s body, as it burns, then it morphs
into something even more hideous.(Release)
As it burns the Thingamajig morphs to a BIG MAGGOT, then to ASH.
CORY
It’s changing shape, he looks even worse,
a big maggot, Yuk.
ALDEN
Lets find what’s left of Gram, and get out of
hear.
The go deeper into the cave and they find the half eaten body of Gram, they stair at his body,
both almost in tears.
(Dread/Horror/Anguish/Shock/Creepy Moment/Disturbing Environment/ Grossed Out)
CORY
Poor Gram, there’s not much we can do for him.
ALDEN
Lets bury him and get back to the camp.
EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden and Cory take Gram’s body out of the cave and bury him in the forest, then make their
way back to the camp.
EXT./INT. MOTORHOME – NIGHT
Ashley, Cate, Zoey stand at the motorhome happy to see Alden, and Cory, but Zoey begins
CRYING.(Fear/Apprehension/Anxiety/Dread/Startled)
ZOEY
Where is Gram! Where is Gram!
CORY
He didn’t make it. The Thingamajig killed him,
he died trying to help kill the monster, we buried
what was left of him in the woods. He was a very brave
young man, and a true friend, the Thingamajig is dead.
Zoey burst into more tears, Ashley and Cate comfort her.(Dread/Fear/Apprehension/Anxiety)
ALDEN
Grab your things, we’re leaving, we’ll hike
to the nearest main road, hitch-hike back to
town for help.
ZOEY
Poor Gram, I miss him already.
ASHLEY
We all miss him, he and Shad gave their lives so
that we could excape being killed by that Thingamajig.
CATE
I hope there are no more of those monsters around.
CORY
You never know the way the world is changing, global
warming could be causing these things.
CATE
Cory, can we talk about something else, or maybe not
talk at all.
Together with Ashley, Cate, Zoey, Alden and Cory hike their way out to the main road,
where they catch a ride back to town for help.(Fear/Apprehension/Anxiety)
As they walk huddled threw the black forest there is movement in the bushes, Ashley,
Cate, and Zoey start SCREAMING, Alden and Cory take aim.
Out walks an EIGHT POINT BUCK, looks at them, then wanders back into the woods.
They all take a deep breath, sigh of relief.(Emotional/Startled/Release)
EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
What appears as a falling star lights the sky, then lands near the lake.(Surprise)
CLOSE ON – A Thingamajig sureys the forest, grimaceing look on his face, looks at
the moon, HISSES and INJURED WOLF HOWLS into the night…
FADE OUT
-
Lesson 13: Scares, Releases, and Creepy Moments
Subject Line:(Huey J. Williams) Scares, Releases, and Creepy Moments!
What I Learned:
Its fun and not so difficult to create Horror Stories, the step by step
method that ScreenwritingU teaches makes everything understandable,
educational, and straightforward. The one step at a time method.
THE PITCH:
A Group of High School Graduates celebrate, before leaving for college
with a camping trip in the woods, that they will never forget.
TITLE: “THE THINGAMAJIG”
GENRE: HORROR
FADE IN:
EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
A forest near a lake illuminated by a full moon, the sounds of desperate
HISSING, and INJURED WOLF GROWL, QUICK THUMPING HITTING THE GROUND, slithers
threw the bush in hot pursuit of a EIGHT POINT BUCK.(Suspense/Dread for Deer)
The Buck SHRIEKS in pain when something in the bushes rips off it’s feet and
begins devouring it, bones CRUNCHING SOUNDS.
CLOSE ON – Just the monster’s mouth chewing is seen, as it takes big bites of
dear meat.(Suspense/Intrigue)
The forest goes silent.
CLOSE ON – SCREECH OWL SHRIEKS, as he watches from a tree.
INT. MOTORHOME – NIGHT
ALDEN drives the motorhome, SHAD his dog liying at his side CORY rides shotgun,
GRAM, ASHLEY, CATE, and ZOEY sit together at the table, all close friends
throughout High School.
Alden pulls up and stops at a sign that reads: “Black Forest Keep Out”
ALDEN
Keep out, my Dad and I have spent many hunting
seasons here, we’ve captured some of the bigest
bucks in the region, perfect dear hunting.
ASHLEY
Ok, lets go home, I don’t feel like getting shot
with rock salt. Do you remember what happend when
we raided that cherry orchard last sumer.
CORY
It’s probably a prank, pay it no mind, we’re here
lets go camping.
CATE
Cory, every since we’ve been together you always say
that prank bit, and you’re never right.
GRAM
Lets go for it, what do we have to loose, all they
can do is kick us out, if they find us.
ZOEY
Cate, I agree, I don’t like going to stange places
uninvited, especially in the woods. Its no telling
what we may find, or run into, there could be GHOSTS,
MONSTERS, maybe even a MAD KILLER.(Apprehension/Anxiety/Emotional)
Everyone in the motorhome starts LAUGHING.
ALDEN
Cate you need to chill out, I think you watch to much TV.
Then it’s settled!
They continue to the camp sight by the lake.
EXT. BLACK FOREST CAMPSITE BY THE LAKE – NIGHT
Under a full moon, Ashley, Alden, and Shad pitch their tent and climb in.
Cate and Cory pitch their ten and climb in.
Zoey and Gram pitch their tent and climb in.
In the bushes hiding the monster watches, not making a sound.
Gram decides to go for a jog threw the woods, his nightly routine.
Gram retuns to camp and notices the motorhome is smoking.
GRAM
Hay guys the motorhome is smoking!
The Group jumps into action rushes into the motorhome putting out the
electrical fire.(Startling)
ASHLEY
Now we’re trapped out in the middle of nowhere,
what’s next, someone gets lost, or maybe killed.(Apprehension/Anxiety)
ALDEN
Ashley, don’t be such a baby. Nothing like that
will happen, Shad and I will protect you.
They put the electrical fire out, return to their tents, all is
quiet.
CORY
I’ll fix the electrical problem in the morning.
Suddenly, there is a LOAD HISSIN followed by a SICK WOLF HOWL!(Surprise/Fear/Suspense/Startling)
Everybody jumps out of bed.
EVERYBODY
What was that! What the hell was that!
Shad begins BARKING and GROWELING, then he runs out the tent in hot pursuit
into the woods after the monster.(Creepy moment)
Alden grabs his rifle and follows shad and tries to catch up into the woods.
EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden enters area of the forest where he finds Shad’s collar and his fur scattered
on the ground, he picks up the collar.
Alden notes something in the bushes watching him, he can’t see what it
is but he knows it’s there, he keeps his gun on the ready as he heads back to
camp.Creepy Moment/Emotional/Unnerving)
EXT. BLACK FOREST CAMPSITE – NIGHT
Everyone in the camp, Ashley, Cory, Cate, Zoey, except for Gram are gathered
together in terror huging each other.(Fear/Suspense/Dread/Startled)
Alden returns with only Shad’s Tags and some of his fur.
Alden hugs Ashley almost in tears.
ALDEN
Shad is gone, he die protecting us, all I found was his
tages, his fur was scattered all over the ground.
GRAM
Shad was an excellent hunter, I bet he went out fighting.
ALDEN
There’s more, while I gathered Shads things, I fealt like
I was being watched by something hiding in the
bushes. I couldn’t see it but it was there
watching me. I kept my rifle ready as I left.(Apprehension/Anxiety/Fear/Dread/Scare)
The Group hugs each other tighter as Alden told the story of what he saw.
GRAM
Alden, how many extra guns did you bring?
ALDEN
The hand gun on me, my rifle, there is a hand
gun and rifle in the motorhome.
GRAM
I think we should leave the tents set up, but
everyone sleep in the motorhome tonight.
ALDEN
I agree.
INT. MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
The Group make their way into the motorhome and bed down for the night.
Zoey tries to make a call home on her cell phone, no signal.(Surprise)
ZOEY
There’s no signal out here, I can’t make a call,
now we’re really screwed. Gram, if anything happens
to me, I’ll, I’ll, you better protect me.
GRAM
As long as you’re with me love, I’m your
Superman, you know that.
Gram, and Alden armed decides to share watch duty for the night.
The monster is watching the motorhome in the bushes.
The monster enters the camp, ransacking the tents, then goes to
the motorhome and peeps threw the bathroom window.
Zoey is in the bathroom bushing he teeth, when she spot the monster’s
big eyees enlarged face staring at her, she SCREAMS and runs out of
the bathroom.(Shock/Hysteria/Fear/Creepy Moment/Scare)
ZOEY
There’s a monster out there, he’s peeping in
the bathroom window! His face was horrible, big
eyes, ugly face, I don’t think I will sleep tonight!
Zoey, Ashley, Cate begin SCREAMING as LOAD as they can!(Fear/Dread/Hysteria/Shock)
The monster jumps up and downon the motorhome HISSING, HOWLING LIKE AN
INJURED WOLF, shaking things up.
THE MONSTER
FEED ME! FEED ME! over and over.
EXT. OUTSIDE MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden, Gram, Cory, go into action each armed, they make their way out of the
motorhome they get their first look at the monster, and begin shooting.(Shock/Fear/Dread/Startled/Emotional)
They make multiple hits, but it doesn’t kill the monster, as it runs away into the
darkness.(Surprise)
Alden, Gram, Cory are sweating, knees kocking, wide eyeed and they can’t believe
what they just saw.(Creepy Moment/ Scare)
GRAM
What the hell was that!
ALDEN
The Girls are hysterical, but they must know what we are
dealing with. We have to come up with a way to kill this
THINGAMAJIG, what ever it is.
CORY
It looked hungry, its either us or it, the
Thingamajig, that’s a good name for it.
That’s what it looks like a Thingamajig.
We’ve learned something about it tonight,
bullets won’t kill it, mybe fire will.
Alden, Gram, Cory head back into the motorhome, they have some explaining to do
with the girls.
ALDEN
I wish I had a better way to tell you this,
but we’re being hunted, by something we have
named the Thingamajig. We promise you, we’ill
protect you, we have a plan.
Later that evening the Thingamajig strikes again this time Cate, Zoey, and Ashley all
get a look at it, as it raids the tents looking for food or one of them.(Dread,Hysteria,Fear/Scare)
Ashley, Cate, Zoey become hysterical, crying, sweating, Zoey soil herselves.(Fear/Hysteria/Shock)
EXT. OUTSIDE MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden, Gram, Cory attack the Thingamajig a battle begins with fire, (molotov cocktails), they miss.
Gram moves in close for a better shot with the molotov cocktail
The Thingamajig charges, grabs Gram, runs into the darkness of the forest.(Dread/Horror/Shock)
Alden and Cory, armed place four molotov cocktails in cooler and head out tracking Gram and
the thingamajig, they follow the Thingamajig’s foot prints to his hideout.
(Anguish/Panic/Creepy Moment)
EXT. BLACK FOREST THINGAMAJIG’S HIDEOUT – NIGHT
The Thingamajig hideout, a near hole in the ground.
Alden and Cory arrive at the Thingamajig’s cave.
(Apprehension/Anxiety/Fear/Creepy Moment/Disturbing Environment)
ALDEN
We found it’s hideout.
CORY
It looks like a spooky place, oneway in,
oneway out.
INT. THINGAMAJIG’S LAIR – NIGHT
Alden and Cory enter the Thingamajig’s lair slowly, molotov cocktails in hand, as they
move deeper into the cave, suddenly a BIG BLACK BAT attacks them on his way out of
the cave.(PANIC/HORROR/Surprise/Startled/Scare/Creepy Moment)
In the distance Alden and Cory, hear sounds of BONES CRUNCHING, CHEWING, and SWALLOWING,
then it stops.(Anguish/Panic/Horror)
Alden and Cory look at each other.(Fear/Anguish)
With blood, gutes, and gleaming sharp teeth, the Thingamajig leaps out, almost grabing Cory,
as he jumps out of the way.
Alden throws a molotov cocktail and misses.(Horror/Panic/Hysteria)
The Thingamajig spits a black paste at Alden, misses, jumps at him, a foot away,
then Cory throws a molotov cocktail, which catches the Thingamajig’s leg on fire.
The Thingamajig WOLF HOWLS in pain.
Alden throws his last molotov cocktail, hitting the Thingamajig’s upper body, he hits
the ground burning, HOWLING.
Alden and Cory fire several shots into the Thingamajig’s body, as it burns, then it morphs
into something even more hideous.(Release)
As it burns the Thingamajig morphs to a BIG MAGGOT, then to ASH.
CORY
It’s changing shape, he looks even worse,
a big maggot, Yuk.
ALDEN
Lets find what’s left of Gram, and get out of
hear.
The go deeper into the cave and they find the half eaten body of Gram, they stair at his body,
both almost in tears.
(Dread/Horror/Anguish/Shock/Creepy Moment/Disturbing Environment/ Grossed Out)
CORY
Poor Gram, there’s not much we can do for him.
ALDEN
Lets bury him and get back to the camp.
EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden and Cory take Gram’s body out of the cave and bury him in the forest, then make their
way back to the camp.
EXT./INT. MOTORHOME – NIGHT
Ashley, Cate, Zoey stand at the motorhome happy to see Alden, and Cory, but Zoey begins
CRYING.(Fear/Apprehension/Anxiety/Dread/Startled)
ZOEY
Where is Gram! Where is Gram!
CORY
He didn’t make it. The Thingamajig killed him,
he died trying to help kill the monster, we buried
what was left of him in the woods. He was a very brave
young man, and a true friend, the Thingamajig is dead.
Zoey burst into more tears, Ashley and Cate comfort her.(Dread/Fear/Apprehension/Anxiety)
ALDEN
Grab your things, we’re leaving, we’ll hike
to the nearest main road, hitch-hike back to
town for help.
ZOEY
Poor Gram, I miss him already.
ASHLEY
We all miss him, he and Shad gave their lives so
that we could excape being killed by that Thingamajig.
CATE
I hope there are no more of those monsters around.
CORY
You never know the way the world is changing, global
warming could be causing these things.
CATE
Cory, can we talk about something else, or maybe not
talk at all.
Together with Ashley, Cate, Zoey, Alden and Cory hike their way out to the main road,
where they catch a ride back to town for help.(Fear/Apprehension/Anxiety)
As they walk huddled threw the black forest there is movement in the bushes, Ashley,
Cate, and Zoey start SCREAMING, Alden and Cory take aim.
Out walks an EIGHT POINT BUCK, looks at them, then wanders back into the woods.
They all take a deep breath, sigh of relief.(Emotional/Startled/Release)
EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
What appears as a falling star lights the sky, then lands near the lake.(Surprise)
CLOSE ON – A Thingamajig sureys the forest, grimaceing look on his face, looks at
the moon, HISSES and INJURED WOLF HOWLS into the night…
FADE OUT
-
Lesson 12: Level 3 Horror Emotions
Subject Line:(Huey J. Williams) Level 2 Horror Emotion Scene
What I Learned:
Its fun and not so difficult to create Horror Stories, the step by step
method that ScreenwritingU teaches makes everything understandable,
educational, and straightforward. The one step at a time method.
THE PITCH:
A Group of High School Graduates celebrate, before leaving for college
with a camping trip in the woods, that they will never forget.
TITLE: “THE THINGAMAJIG”
GENRE: HORROR
FADE IN:
EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
A forest near a lake illuminated by a full moon, the sounds of desperate
HISSING, and INJURED WOLF GROWL, QUICK THUMPING HITTING THE GROUND, slithers
threw the bush in hot pursuit of a EIGHT POINT BUCK.(Suspense/Dread for Deer)
The Buck SHRIEKS in pain when something in the bushes rips off it’s feet and
begins devouring it, bones CRUNCHING SOUNDS.
CLOSE ON – Just the monster’s mouth chewing is seen, as it takes big bites of
dear meat.(Suspense/Intrigue)
The forest goes silent.
CLOSE ON – SCREECH OWL SHRIEKS, as he watches from a tree.
INT. MOTORHOME – NIGHT
ALDEN drives the motorhome, SHAD his dog liying at his side CORY rides shotgun,
GRAM, ASHLEY, CATE, and ZOEY sit together at the table, all close friends
throughout High School.
Alden pulls up and stops at a sign that reads: “Black Forest Keep Out”
ALDEN
Keep out, my Dad and I have spent many hunting
seasons here, we’ve captured some of the bigest
bucks in the region, perfect dear hunting.
ASHLEY
Ok, lets go home, I don’t feel like getting shot
with rock salt. Do you remember what happend when
we raided that cherry orchard last sumer.
CORY
It’s probably a prank, pay it no mind, we’re here
lets go camping.
CATE
Cory, every since we’ve been together you always say
that prank bit, and you’re never right.
GRAM
Lets go for it, what do we have to loose, all they
can do is kick us out, if they find us.
ZOEY
Cate, I agree, I don’t like going to stange places
uninvited, especially in the woods. Its no telling
what we may find, or run into, there could be GHOSTS,
MONSTERS, maybe even a MAD KILLER.(Apprehension/Anxiety)
Everyone in the motorhome starts LAUGHING.
ALDEN
Cate you need to chill out, I think you watch to much TV.
Then it’s settled!
They continue to the camp sight by the lake.
EXT. BLACK FOREST CAMPSITE BY THE LAKE – NIGHT
Under a full moon, Ashley, Alden, and Shad pitch their tent and climb in.
Cate and Cory pitch their ten and climb in.
Zoey and Gram pitch their tent and climb in.
In the bushes hiding the monster watches, not making a sound.
Gram decides to go for a jog threw the woods, his nightly routine.
Gram retuns to camp and notices the motorhome is smoking.
GRAM
Hay guys the motorhome is smoking!
The Group jumps into action rushes into the motorhome putting out the
electrical fire.
ASHLEY
Now we’re trapped out in the middle of nowhere,
what’s next, someone gets lost, or maybe killed.(Apprehension/Anxiety)
ALDEN
Ashley, don’t be such a baby. Nothing like that
will happen, Shad and I will protect you.
They put the electrical fire out, return to their tents, all is
quiet.
CORY
I’ll fix the electrical problem in the morning.
Suddenly, there is a LOAD HISSIN followed by a SICK WOLF HOWL!(Surprise/Fear/Suspense)
Everybody jumps out of bed.
EVERYBODY
What was that! What the hell was that!
Shad begins BARKING and GROWELING, then he runs out the tent in hot pursuit
into the woods after the monster.
Alden grabs his rifle and follows shad and tries to catch up into the woods.
Everyone in the camp, Ashley, Cory, Cate, Zoey, except for Gram are gathered
together in terror huging each other.(Fear/Suspense/Dread)
Alden returns with only Shad’s Tags and some of his fur.
Alden hugs Ashley almost in tears.
ALDEN
Shad is gone, he die protecting us, all I found was his
tages, and fur, his fur was scattered all over the ground.
GRAM
Shad was an excellent hunter, I bet he went out fighting.
ALDEN
There’s more, while I gathered Shads things, I fealt like
I was being watched by something hiding in the
bushes. I couldn’t see it but it was there
watching me. I kept my rifle ready as I left.(Apprehension/Anxiety/Fear/Dread)
The Group hugs each other tighter as Alden told the story of what he saw.
GRAM
Alden, how many extra guns did you bring?
ALDEN
The hand gun on me, my rifle, there is a hand
gun and rifle in the motorhome.
GRAM
I think we should leave the tents set up, but
everyone sleep in the motorhome tonight.
ALDEN
I agree.
INT. MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
The Group make their way into the motorhome and bed down for the night.
Zoey tries to make a call home on her cell phone, no signal.(Surprise)
ZOEY
There’s no signal out here, I can’t make a call,
now we’re really screwed. Gram, if anything happens
to me, I’ll, I’ll, you better protect me.
GRAM
As long as you’re with me love, I’m your
Superman, you know that.
Gram, and Alden armed decides to share watch duty for the night.
The monster is watching the motorhome in the bushes.
The monster enters the camp, ransacking the tents, then goes to
the motorhome and peeps threw the bathroom window.
Zoey is in the bathroom bushing he teeth, when she spot the monster’s
big eyees enlarged face staring at her, she SCREAMS and runs out of
the bathroom.(Shock/Hysteria/Fear)
ZOEY
There’s a monster out there, he’s peeping in
the bathroom window!
Zoey, Ashley, Cate begin SCREAMING as LOAD as they can!(Fear/Dread/Hysteria)
The monster jumps up and downon the motorhome HISSING, HOWLING LIKE AN
INJURED WOLF, shaking things up.
THE MONSTER
FEED ME! FEED ME! over and over.
EXT. OUTSIDE MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden, Gram, Cory, go into action each armed, they make their way out of the
motorhome they get their first look at the monster, and begin shooting.(Shock/Fear/Dread)
They make multiple hits, but it doesn’t kill the monster, as it runs away into the
darkness.(Surprise)
Alden, Gram, Cory are sweating, knees kocking, wide eyeed and they can’t believe
what they just saw.
GRAM
What the hell was that!
ALDEN
The Girls are hysterical, but they must know what we are
dealing with. We have to come up with a way to kill this
THINGAMAJIG, what ever it is.
CORY
It looked hungry, its either us or it, the
Thingamajig, that’s a good name for it.
That’s what it looks like a Thingamajig.
We’ve learned something about it tonight,
bullets won’t kill it, mybe fire will.
Alden, Gram, Cory head back into the motorhome, they have some explaining to do
with the girls.
ALDEN
I wish I had a better way to tell you this,
but we’re being hunted, by something we have
named the Thingamajig. We promise you, we’ill
protect you, we have a plan.
Later that evening the Thingamajig strikes again this time Cate, Zoey, and Ashley all
get a look at it, as it raids the tents looking for food or one of them.(Dread,Hysteria,Fear)
Ashley, Cate, Zoey become hysterical, crying, sweating, Zoey soil herselves.(Fear)
EXT. OUTSIDE MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden, Gram, Cory attack the Thingamajig a battle begins with fire, (molotov cocktails).
Gram moves in close for a better shot with the molotov cocktail, the Thingamajig charges,
grabs him a runs into the darkness of the forest.(Dread/Horror)
Alden and Cory, armed place four molotov cocktails in cooler and head out tracking Gram and
the thingamajig, they follow the Thingamajig’s foot prints to his hideout.(Anguish/Panic)
EXT. BLACK FOREST THINGAMAJIG’S HIDEOUT – NIGHT
The Thingamajig hideout, a near hole in the ground.
Alden and Cory arrive at the Thingamajig’s cave.(Apprehension/Anxiety/Fear)
ALDEN
We found it’s hideout.
CORY
It looks like a spooky place, oneway in,
oneway out.
Alden and Cory enter the Thingamajig’s cave slowly, molotov cocktails in hand, as they
move deeper into the cave, suddenly a BIG BLACK BAT attacks them on his way out of
the cave.(PANIC/HORROR)
In the distance Alden and Cory, hear sounds of BONES CRUNCHING, CHEWING, and SWALLOWING,
then it stops.(Anguish/Panic/Horror)
Alden and Cory look at each other.(Fear/Anguish)
With blood, gutes, and gleaming sharp teeth, the Thingamajig leaps out, almost grabing Cory,
as he jumps out of the way.
Alden throws a molotov cocktail and misses.(Horror/Panic/Hysteria)
The Thingamajig spits a black paste at Alden, misses, jumps at him, a foot away,
then Cory throws a molotov cocktail, which catches his leg on fire.
The Thingamajig WOLF HOWLS in pain.
Alden throws his last molotov cocktail, hitting the Thingamajig’s upper body, he hits
the ground burning, HOWLING.
Alden and Cory fire several shots into the Thingamajig’s body, as it burns, then it changes
into something even more hideous.
As it burns the Thingamajig changes to a BIG MAGGOT, then to ASH.
CORY
Its changing shape, he looks even worse,
a big maggot, Yuk.
ALDEN
Lets find what’s left of Gram, and get out of
hear.
The go deeper into the cave and they find the half eaten body of Gram, they stair at his body,
both almost in tears.(Dread/Horror/Anguish)
CORY
Poor Gram, there’s not much we can do for him.
ALDEN
Lets bury him and get back to the camp.
Alden and Cory take Gram’s body out of the cave and bury him in the forest, then make their
way back to the camp.
EXT./INT. MOTORHOME – NIGHT
Ashley, Cate, Zoey stand at the motorhome happy to see Alden, and Cory, but Zoey begins
CRYING.(Fear/Apprehension/Anxiety/Dread)
ZOEY
Where is Gram! Where is Gram!
CORY
He didn’t make it. The Thingamajig killed him,
we were fighting and the Thingamajig grabed and
ran off, we tried to save him, he died trying
to help kill the monster, we buried what was left
of him in the woods. He was a very brave young man, and a true
friend. The Thingamajig is dead.
Zoey burst into more tears, Ashley and Cate comfort her.(Dread/Fear/Apprehension/Anxiety)
ALDEN
Grab your things, we’re leaving, we’ll hike
to the nearest main road, hitch-hike back to
town for help.
ZOEY
Poor Gram, I miss him already.
ASHLEY
We all miss him, he and Shad gave their lives so
that we could excape being killed by that Thingamajig.
CATE
I hope there are no more of those monsters around.
CORY
You never know the way the world is changing, global
warming could be causing these things.
CATE
Cory, can we talk about something else, or maybe not
at all.
Together with Ashley, Cate, Zoey, Alden and Cory hike their way out to the main road,
where they catch a ride back to town for help.(Fear/Apprehension/Anxiety)
EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
What appears as a falling star lights the sky, then lands near the lake.(Surprise)
CLOSE ON – A Thingamajig sureys the forest, grimaceing look on his face, looks at
the moon, HISSES and INJURED WOLF HOWLS into the night…
FADE OUT
-
Lesson 11: Level 2 Horror Emotions
Subject Line:(Huey J. Williams) Level 2 Horror Emotion Scene
What I Learned:
Its fun and not so difficult to create Horror Stories, the step by step
method that ScreenwritingU teaches makes everything understandable,
educational, and straightforward. The one step at a time method.
THE PITCH:
A Group of High School Graduates celebrate, before leaving for college
with a camping trip in the woods, that they will never forget.
TITLE: “THE THINGAMAJIG”
GENRE: HORROR
FADE IN:
EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
A forest near a lake illuminated by a full moon, the sounds of desperate
HISSING, and INJURED WOLF GROWL, QUICK THUMPING HITTING THE GROUND, slithers
threw the bush in hot pursuit of a EIGHT POINT BUCK.(Suspense/Dread for Deer)
The Buck SHRIEKS in pain when something in the bushes rips off it’s feet and
begins devouring it, bones CRUNCHING SOUNDS.
CLOSE ON – Just the monster’s mouth chewing is seen, as it takes big bites of
dear meat.(Suspense/Intrigue)
The forest goes silent.
CLOSE ON – SCREECH OWL SHRIEKS, as he watches from a tree.
INT. MOTORHOME – NIGHT
ALDEN drives the motorhome, SHAD his dog liying at his side CORY rides shotgun,
GRAM, ASHLEY, CATE, and ZOEY sit together at the table, all close friends
throughout High School.
Alden pulls up and stops at a sign that reads: “Black Forest Keep Out”
ALDEN
Keep out, my Dad and I have spent many hunting
seasons here, we’ve captured some of the bigest
bucks in the region, perfect dear hunting.
ASHLEY
Ok, lets go home, I don’t feel like getting shot
with rock salt. Do you remember what happend when
we raided that cherry orchard last sumer.
CORY
It’s probably a prank, pay it no mind, we’re here
lets go camping.
CATE
Cory, every since we’ve been together you always say
that prank bit, and you’re never right.
GRAM
Lets go for it, what do we have to loose, all they
can do is kick us out, if they find us.
ZOEY
Cate, I agree, I don’t like going to stange places
uninvited, especially in the woods. Its no telling
what we may find, or run into, there could be GHOSTS,
MONSTERS, maybe even a MAD KILLER.(Apprehension/Anxiety)
Everyone in the motorhome starts LAUGHING.
ALDEN
Cate you need to chill out, I think you watch to much TV.
Then it’s settled!
They continue to the camp sight by the lake.
EXT. CAMPSITE BY THE LAKE – NIGHT
Under a full moon, Ashley, Alden, and Shad pitch their tent and climb in.
Cate and Cory pitch their ten and climb in.
Zoey and Gram pitch their tent and climb in.
In the bushes hiding the monster watches, not making a sound.
Gram decides to go for a jog threw the woods, his nightly routine.
Gram retuns to camp and notices the motorhome is smoking.
GRAM
Hay guys the motorhome is smoking!
The Group jumps into action rushes into the motorhome putting out the
electrical fire.
ASHLEY
Now we’re trapped out in the middle of nowhere,
what’s next, someone gets lost, or maybe killed.(Apprehension/Anxiety)
ALDEN
Ashley, don’t be such a baby. Nothing like that
will happen, Shad and I will protect you.
They put the electrical fire out, return to their tents, all is
quiet.
CORY
I’ll fix the electrical problem in the morning.
Suddenly, there is a LOAD HISSIN followed by a SICK WOLF HOWL!(Surprise/Fear/Suspense)
Everybody jumps out of bed.
EVERYBODY
What was that! What the hell was that!
Shad begins BARKING and GROWELING, then he runs out the tent in hot pursuit
into the woods after the monster.
Alden grabs his rifle and follows shad and tries to catch up into the woods.
Everyone in the camp, Ashley, Cory, Cate, Zoey, except for Gram are gathered
together in terror huging each other.(Fear/Suspense/Dread)
Alden returns with only Shad’s Tags and some of his fur.
Alden hugs Ashley almost in tears.
ALDEN
Shad is gone, he die protecting us, all I found was his
tages, and fur, his fur was scattered all over the ground.
GRAM
Shad was an excellent hunter, I bet he went out fighting.
ALDEN
There’s more, while I gathered Shads things, I fealt like
I was being watched by something hiding in the
bushes. I couldn’t see it but it was there
watching me. I kept my rifle ready as I left.(Apprehension/Anxiety/Fear/Dread)
The Group hugs each other tighter as Alden told the story of what he saw.
GRAM
Alden, how many extra guns did you bring?
ALDEN
The hand gun on me, my rifle, there is a hand
gun and rifle in the motorhome.
GRAM
I think we should leave the tents set up, but
everyone sleep in the motorhome tonight.
ALDEN
I agree.
INT. MOTORHOME – NIGHT
The Group make their way into the motorhome and bed down for the night.
Zoey tries to make a call home on her cell phone, no signal.(Surprise)
ZOEY
There’s no signal out here, I can’t make a call,
now we’re really screwed. Gram, if anything happens
to me, I’ll, I’ll, you better protect me.
GRAM
As long as you’re with me love, I’m your
Superman, you know that.
Gram, and Alden armed decides to share watch duty for the night.
The monster is watching the motorhome in the bushes.
The monster enters the camp, ransacking the tents, then goes to
the motorhome and peeps threw the bathroom window.
Zoey is in the bathroom bushing he teeth, when she spot the monster’s
big eyees enlarged face staring at her, she SCREAMS and runs out of
the bathroom.(Shock/Hysteria/Fear)
ZOEY
There’s a monster out there, he’s peeping in
the bathroom window!
Zoey, Ashley, Cate begin SCREAMING as LOAD as they can!(Fear/Dread/Hysteria)
The monster jumps up and downon the motorhome HISSING, HOWLING LIKE AN
INJURED WOLF, shaking things up.
THE MONSTER
FEED ME! FEED ME! over and over.
Alden, Gram, Cory, go into action each armed, they make their way out of the
motorhome they get their first look at the monster, and begin shooting.(Shock/Fear/Dread)
They make multiple hits, but it doesn’t kill it, as it runs away into the
darkness.(Surprise)
Alden, Gram, Cory are sweating, knees kocking, wide eyeed and they can’t believe
what they just saw.
GRAM
What the hell was that!
ALDEN
The Girls are hysterical, but they must know what we are
dealing with. We have to come up with a way to kill this
THINGAMAJIG, what ever it is.
CORY
It looked hungry, its either us or it, the
Thingamajig, that’s a good name for it.
That’s what it looks like a Thingamajig.
We’ve learned something about it tonight,
bullets won’t kill it, mybe fire will.
Alden, Gram, Cory head back into the motorhome, they have some explaining to do
with the girls.
ALDEN
I wish I had a better way to tell you this,
but we’re being hunted, by something we have
named the Thingamajig. We promise you, we’ill
protect you, we have a plan.
Later that evening the Thingamajig strikes again this time Cate, Zoey, and Ashley all
get a look at it, as it raids the tents looking for food or one of them.(Dread,Hysteria,Fear)
Ashley, Cate, Zoey become hysterical, crying, sweating, Zoey soil herselves.(Fear)
Alden, Gram, Cory attack the Thingamajig off with fire, (molotov cocktails).
In the battle Gram get to close to the Thingamajig, it grabs him and takes him away
into the forest.(Dread)
Alden and Cory follow Gram and the Thingamajig to it’s hideout.
The Thingamajig is half way done making a meal of Gram.
EXT. THINGAMAJIG’S HIDEOUT – NIGHT
The Thingamajig hideout, a near hole in the ground.
Alden and Cory arrive and begin bombing the Thingamajig with molotov cocktails setting
refuge a blase.(Dread/Fear)
The Thingamjig falls to the ground HOWLING as it burns.
The Thingamajig rise and runs towards Alden, and Cory, they fire several shots, hitting
it then it falls and dies.
Alden and Cory take a close look of what’s left of Gram’s burned and half eaten body, they
bury Gram’s body before makeing their way back to the motorhome.(Dread)
EXT./INT. MOTORHOME – NIGHT
Ashley, Cate, Zoey stand at the motorhome happy to see Alden, and Cory, but Zoey begins
crying.(Fear/Apprehension/Anxiety/Dread)
ZOEY
Where is Gram! Where is Gram!
CORY
He didn’t make it. The Thingamajig killed him,
we were fighting and the Thingamajig grabed and
ran off, we tried to save him, he died trying
to help kill the monster, we buried what was left
of him. He was a very brave young man, and a true
friend. The Thingamajig is dead.
Zoey burst into more tears, Ashley and Cate comfort her.(Dread/Fear/Apprehension/Anxiety)
ALDEN
Grab your things, we’re leaving, we’ll hike
to the nearest main road, hitch-hike back to
town for help.
ZOEY
Poor Gram, I miss him already.
ASHLEY
We all miss him, he and Shad gave their lives so
that we could excape being killed by that Thingamajig.
CATE
I hope there are no more of those monsters around.
CORY
You never know the way the world is changing, global
warming could be causing these things.
CATE
Cory, can we talk about something else, or maybe not
at all.
Together with Ashley, Cate, Zoey, Alden and Cory hike their way out to the main road,
where they catch a ride back to town for help.(Fear/Apprehension/Anxiety)
EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
What appears as a falling star lights the sky, then lands near the lake.(Surprise)
CLOSE ON – A Thingamajig sureys the forest, grimaceing look on his face, looks at
the moon, HISSES and INJURED WOLF HOWLS into the night…
FADE OUT
-
Lesson 10: Level 1 Horror Emotions
Subject Line:(Huey J. Williams) Level 1 Horror Emotion Scene
What I Learned:
Its fun and not so difficult to create Horror Stories, the step by step
method that ScreenwritingU teaches makes everything understandable,
educational, and straightforward. The one step at a time method.
THE PITCH:
A Group of High School Graduates celebrate, before leaving for college
with a camping trip in the woods, that they will never forget.
TITLE: “THE THINGAMAJIG”
GENRE: HORROR
FADE IN:
EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
A forest near a lake illuminated by a full moon, the sounds of desperate
HISSING, and INJURED WOLF GROWL, QUICK THUMPING HITTING THE GROUND, slithers
threw the bush in hot pursuit of a EIGHT POINT BUCK.
The Buck SHRIEKS in pain when something in the bushes rips off it’s feet and
begins devouring it, bones CRUNCHING SOUNDS.
CLOSE ON – Just the monster’s mouth chewing is seen, as it takes big bites of
dear meat.
The forest goes silent.
CLOSE ON – SCREECH OWL SHRIEKS, as he watches from a tree.
INT. MOTORHOME – NIGHT
ALDEN drives the motorhome, SHAD his dog liying at his side CORY rides shotgun,
GRAM, ASHLEY, CATE, and ZOEY sit together at the table, all close friends
throughout High School.
Alden pulls up and stops at a sign that reads: “Black Forest Keep Out”
ALDEN
Keep out, my Dad and I have spent many hunting
seasons here, we’ve captured some of the bigest
bucks in the region, perfect dear hunting.
ASHLEY
Ok, lets go home, I don’t feel like getting shot
with rock salt. Do you remember what happend when
we raided that cherry orchard last sumer.
CORY
It’s probably a prank, pay it no mind, we’re here
lets go camping.
CATE
Cory, every since we’ve been together you always say
that prank bit, and you’re never right.
GRAM
Lets go for it, what do we have to loose, all they
can do is kick us out, if they find us.
ZOEY
Cate, I agree, I don’t like going to stange places
uninvited, especially in the woods. Its no telling (Apprehension/Anxiety)
what we may find, or run into, there could be GHOSTS,
MONSTERS, maybe even a MAD KILLER.
Everyone in the motorhome starts LAUGHING.
ALDEN
Cate you need to chill out, I think you watch to much TV.
Then it’s settled!
They continue to the camp sight by the lake.
EXT. CAMPSITE BY THE LAKE – NIGHT
Under a full moon, Ashley, Alden, and Shad pitch their tent and climb in.
Cate and Cory pitch their ten and climb in.
Zoey and Gram pitch their tent and climb in.
In the bushes hiding the monster watches, not making a sound.
Gram decides to go for a jog threw the woods, his nightly routine.
Gram retuns to camp and notices the motorhome is smoking.
GRAM
Hay guys the motorhome is smoking!
The Group jumps into action rushes into the motorhome putting out the
electrical fire.
ASHLEY
Now we’re trapped out in the middle of nowhere,
what’s next, someone gets lost, or maybe killed. (Apprehension/Anxiety)
ALDEN
Ashley, don’t be such a baby. Nothing like that
will happen, Shad and I will protect you.
They put the electrical fire out, return to their tents, all is
quiet.
CORY
I’ll fix the electrical problem in the morning.
Suddenly, there is a LOAD HISSIN followed by a SICK WOLF HOWL! (Surprise)
Everybody jumps out of bed.
EVERYBODY
What was that! What the hell was that!
Shad begins BARKING and GROWELING, then he runs out the tent in hot pursuit
into the woods after the monster.
Alden grabs his rifle and follows shad and tries to catch up into the woods.
Everyone in the camp, Ashley, Cory, Cate, Zoey, except for Gram are gathered
together in terror huging each other.
Alden returns with only Shad’s Tags and some of his fur.
Alden hugs Ashley almost in tears.
ALDEN
Shad is gone, he die protecting us, all I found was his
tages, and fur, his fur was scattered all over the ground.
GRAM
Shad was an excellent hunter, I bet he went out fighting.
ALDEN
There’s more, while I gathered Shads things, I fealt like
I was being watched by something hiding in the (Apprehension/Anxiety)
bushes. I couldn’t see it but it was there
watching me. I kept my rifle ready as I left.
The Group hugs each other tighter as Alden told the story of what he saw.
GRAM
Alden, how many extra guns did you bring?
ALDEN
The hand gun on me, my rifle, there is a hand
gun and rifle in the motorhome.
GRAM
I think we should leave the tents set up, but
everyone sleep in the motorhome tonight.
ALDEN
I agree.
INT. MOTORHOME – NIGHT
The Group make their way into the motorhome and bed down for the night.
Zoey tries to make a call home on her cell phone, no signal.
ZOEY
There’s no signal out here, I can’t make a call,
now we’re really screwed. Gram, if anything happens (Surprise)
to me, I’ll, I’ll, you better protect me.
GRAM
As long as you’re with me love, I’m your
Superman, you know that.
Gram, and Alden armed decides to share watch duty for the night.
The monster is watching the motorhome in the bushes.
The monster enters the camp, ransacking the tents, then goes to
the motorhome and peeps threw the bathroom window.
Zoey is in the bathroom bushing he teeth, when she spot the monster’s (Shock/Hysteria)
big eyees enlarged face staring at her, she SCREAMS and runs out of
the bathroom.
ZOEY
There’s a monster out there, he’s peeping in
the bathroom window!
Zoey, Ashley, Cate begin SCREAMING as LOAD as they can!
The monster jumps up and downon the motorhome HISSING, HOWLING LIKE AN
INJURED WOLF, shaking things up.
THE MONSTER
FEED ME! FEED ME! over and over.
Alden, Gram, Cory, go into action each armed, they make their way out of the
motorhome they get their first look at the monster, and begin shooting. (Shock/Fear)
They make multiple hits, but it doesn’t kill it, as it runs away into the
darkness.
Alden, Gram, Cory are sweating, knees kocking, wide eyeed and they can’t believe
what they just saw.
GRAM
What the hell was that!
ALDEN
The Girls are hysterical, but they must know what we are
dealing with. We have to come up with a way to kill this
THINGAMAJIG, what ever it is.
CORY
It looked hungry, its either us or it, the
Thingamajig, that’s a good name for it.
That’s what it looks like a Thingamajig.
We’ve learned something about it tonight,
bullets won’t kill it, mybe fire will.
Alden, Gram, Cory head back into the motorhome, they have some explaining to do
with the girls.
ALDEN
I wish I had a better way to tell you this,
but we’re being hunted, by something we have
named the Thingamajig. We promise you, we’ill
protect you, we have a plan.
Later that evening the Thingamajig strikes again this time Cate, Zoey, and Ashley all
get a look at it, as it raids the tents looking for food or one of them.
Ashley, Cate, Zoey become hysterical, crying, sweating, Zoey soil herselves.
Alden, Gram, Cory attack the Thingamajig off with fire, (molotov cocktails).
In the battle Gram get to close to the Thingamajig, it grabs him and takes him away
into the forest.
Alden and Cory follow Gram and the Thingamajig to it’s hideout.
The Thingamajig is half way done making a meal of Gram.
EXT. THINGAMAJIG’S HIDEOUT – NIGHT
The Thingamajig hideout, a near hole in the ground.
Alden and Cory arrive and begin bombing the Thingamajig with molotov cocktails setting
refuge a blase.
The Thingamjig falls to the ground HOWLING as it burns.
The Thingamajig rise and runs towards Alden, and Cory, they fire several shots, hitting
it then it falls and dies.
Alden and Cory take a close look of what’s left of Gram’s burned and half eaten body, they
bury Gram’s body before makeing their way back to the motorhome.
EXT./INT. MOTORHOME – NIGHT
Ashley, Cate, Zoey stand at the motorhome happy to see Alden, and Cory, but Zoey begins
crying.
ZOEY
Where is Gram! Where is Gram!
CORY
He didn’t make it. The Thingamajig killed him,
we were fighting and the Thingamajig grabed and
ran off, we tried to save him, he died trying
to help kill the monster, we buried what was left
of him. He was a very brave young man, and a true
friend. The Thingamajig is dead.
Zoey burst into more tears, Ashley and Cate comfort her.
ALDEN
Grab your things, we’re leaving, we’ll hike
to the nearest main road, hitch-hike back to
town for help.
ZOEY
Poor Gram, I miss him already.
ASHLEY
We all miss him, he and Shad gave their lives so
that we could excape being killed by that Thingamajig.
CATE
I hope there are no more of those monsters around.
CORY
You never know the way the world is changing, global
warming could be causing these things.
CATE
Cory, can we talk about something else, or maybe not
at all.
Together with Ashley, Cate, Zoey, Alden and Cory hike their way out to the main road,
where they catch a ride back to town for help.
EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
What appears as a falling star lights the sky, then lands near the lake.
CLOSE ON – A Thingamajig sureys the forest, grimaceing look on his face, looks at
the moon, HISSES and INJURED WOLF HOWLS into the night…
FADE OUT
-
Lesson 9: Character Journey Track
Subject Line:(Huey J. Williams) Make Your Outline Readable
What I Learned:
Its fun and not so difficult to create Horror Stories, the step by step
method that ScreenwritingU teaches makes everything understandable,
educational, and straightforward. The one step at a time method.
THE PITCH:
A Group of High School Graduates celebrate, before leaving for college
with a camping trip in the woods, that they will never forget.
TITLE: “THE THINGAMAJIG”
GENRE: HORROR
FADE IN:
EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
A forest near a lake illuminated by a full moon, the sounds of desperate
HISSING, and INJURED WOLF GROWL, QUICK THUMPING HITTING THE GROUND, slithers
threw the bush in hot pursuit of a EIGHT POINT BUCK.
The Buck SHRIEKS in pain when something in the bushes rips off it’s feet and
begins devouring it, bones CRUNCHING SOUNDS.
CLOSE ON – Just the monster’s mouth chewing is seen, as it takes big bites of
dear meat.
The forest goes silent.
CLOSE ON – SCREECH OWL SHRIEKS, as he watches from a tree.
INT. MOTORHOME – NIGHT
ALDEN drives the motorhome, SHAD his dog liying at his side CORY rides shotgun,
GRAM, ASHLEY, CATE, and ZOEY sit together at the table, all close friends
throughout High School.
Alden pulls up and stops at a sign that reads: “Black Forest Keep Out”
ALDEN
Keep out, my Dad and I have spent many hunting
seasons here, we’ve captured some of the bigest
bucks in the region, perfect dear hunting.
ASHLEY
Ok, lets go home, I don’t feel like getting shot
with rock salt. Do you remember what happend when
we raided that cherry orchard last sumer.
CORY
It’s probably a prank, pay it no mind, we’re here
lets go camping.
CATE
Cory, every since we’ve been together you always say
that prank bit, and you’re never right.
GRAM
Lets go for it, what do we have to loose, all they
can do is kick us out, if they find us.
ZOEY
Cate, I agree, I don’t like going to stange places
uninvited, especially in the woods. Its no telling
what we may find, or run into, there could be GHOSTS,
MONSTERS, maybe even a MAD KILLER.
Everyone in the motorhome starts LAUGHING.
ALDEN
Cate you need to chill out, I think you watch to much TV.
Then it’s settled!
They continue to the camp sight by the lake.
EXT. CAMPSITE BY THE LAKE – NIGHT
Under a full moon, Ashley, Alden, and Shad pitch their tent and climb in.
Cate and Cory pitch their ten and climb in.
Zoey and Gram pitch their tent and climb in.
In the bushes hiding the monster watches, not making a sound.
Gram decides to go for a jog threw the woods, his nightly routine.
Gram retuns to camp and notices the motorhome is smoking.
GRAM
Hay guys the motorhome is smoking!
The Group jumps into action rushes into the motorhome putting out the
electrical fire.
ASHLEY
Now we’re trapped out in the middle of nowhere,
what’s next, someone gets lost, or maybe killed.
ALDEN
Ashley, don’t be such a baby. Nothing like that
will happen, Shad and I will protect you.
They put the electrical fire out, return to their tents, all is
quiet.
CORY
I’ll fix the electrical problem in the morning.
Suddenly, there is a LOAD HISSIN followed by a SICK WOLF HOWL!
Everybody jumps out of bed.
EVERYBODY
What was that! What the hell was that!
Shad begins BARKING and GROWELING, then he runs out the tent in hot pursuit
into the woods after the monster.
Alden grabs his rifle and follows shad and tries to catch up into the woods.
Everyone in the camp, Ashley, Cory, Cate, Zoey, except for Gram are gathered
together in terror huging each other.
Alden returns with only Shad’s Tags and some of his fur.
Alden hugs Ashley almost in tears.
ALDEN
Shad is gone, he die protecting us, all I found was his
tages, and fur, his fur was scattered all over the ground.
GRAM
Shad was an excellent hunter, I bet he went out fighting.
ALDEN
There’s more, while I gathered Shads things, I fealt like
I was being watched by something hiding in the
bushes. I couldn’t see it but it was there
watching me. I kept my rifle ready as I left.
The Group hugs each other tighter as Alden told the story of what he saw.
GRAM
Alden, how many extra guns did you bring?
ALDEN
The hand gun on me, my rifle, there is a hand
gun and rifle in the motorhome.
GRAM
I think we should leave the tents set up, but
everyone sleep in the motorhome tonight.
ALDEN
I agree.
INT. MOTORHOME – NIGHT
The Group make their way into the motorhome and bed down for the night.
Zoey tries to make a call home on her cell phone, no signal.
ZOEY
There’s no signal out here, I can’t make a call,
now we’re really screwed. Gram, if anything happens
to me, I’ll, I’ll, you better protect me.
GRAM
As long as you’re with me love, I’m your
Superman, you know that.
Gram, and Alden armed decides to share watch duty for the night.
The monster is watching the motorhome in the bushes.
The monster enters the camp, ransacking the tents, then goes to
the motorhome and peeps threw the bathroom window.
Zoey is in the bathroom bushing he teeth, when she spot the monster’s
big eyees enlarged face staring at her, she SCREAMS and runs out of
the bathroom.
ZOEY
There’s a monster out there, he’s peeping in
the bathroom window!
Zoey, Ashley, Cate begin SCREAMING as LOAD as they can!
The monster jumps up and downon the motorhome HISSING, HOWLING LIKE AN
INJURED WOLF, shaking things up.
THE MONSTER
FEED ME! FEED ME! over and over.
Alden, Gram, Cory, go into action each armed, they make their way out of the
motorhome they get their first look at the monster, and begin shooting.
They make multiple hits, but it doesn’t kill it, as it runs away into the
darkness.
Alden, Gram, Cory are sweating, knees kocking, wide eyeed and they can’t believe
what they just saw.
GRAM
What the hell was that!
ALDEN
The Girls are hysterical, but they must know what we are
dealing with. We have to come up with a way to kill this
THINGAMAJIG, what ever it is.
CORY
It looked hungry, its either us or it, the
Thingamajig, that’s a good name for it.
That’s what it looks like a Thingamajig.
We’ve learned something about it tonight,
bullets won’t kill it, mybe fire will.
Alden, Gram, Cory head back into the motorhome, they have some explaining to do
with the girls.
ALDEN
I wish I had a better way to tell you this,
but we’re being hunted, by something we have
named the Thingamajig. We promise you, we’ill
protect you, we have a plan.
Later that evening the Thingamajig strikes again this time Cate, Zoey, and Ashley all
get a look at it, as it raids the tents looking for food or one of them.
Ashley, Cate, Zoey become hysterical, crying, sweating, Zoey soil herselves.
Alden, Gram, Cory attack the Thingamajig off with fire, (molotov cocktails).
In the battle Gram get to close to the Thingamajig, it grabs him and takes him away
into the forest.
Alden and Cory follow Gram and the Thingamajig to it’s hideout.
The Thingamajig is half way done making a meal of Gram.
EXT. THINGAMAJIG’S HIDEOUT – NIGHT
The Thingamajig hideout, a near hole in the ground.
Alden and Cory arrive and begin bombing the Thingamajig with molotov cocktails setting
refuge a blase.
The Thingamjig falls to the ground HOWLING as it burns.
The Thingamajig rise and runs towards Alden, and Cory, they fire several shots, hitting
it then it falls and dies.
Alden and Cory take a close look of what’s left of Gram’s burned and half eaten body, they
bury Gram’s body before makeing their way back to the motorhome.
EXT./INT. MOTORHOME – NIGHT
Ashley, Cate, Zoey stand at the motorhome happy to see Alden, and Cory, but Zoey begins
crying.
ZOEY
Where is Gram! Where is Gram!
CORY
He didn’t make it. The Thingamajig killed him,
we were fighting and the Thingamajig grabed and
ran off, we tried to save him, he died trying
to help kill the monster, we buried what was left
of him. He was a very brave young man, and a true
friend. The Thingamajig is dead.
Zoey burst into more tears, Ashley and Cate comfort her.
ALDEN
Grab your things, we’re leaving, we’ll hike
to the nearest main road, hitch-hike back to
town for help.
ZOEY
Poor Gram, I miss him already.
ASHLEY
We all miss him, he and Shad gave their lives so
that we could excape being killed by that Thingamajig.
CATE
I hope there are no more of those monsters around.
CORY
You never know the way the world is changing, global
warming could be causing these things.
CATE
Cory, can we talk about something else, or maybe not
at all.
Together with Ashley, Cate, Zoey, Alden and Cory hike their way out to the main road,
where they catch a ride back to town for help.
EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
What appears as a falling star lights the sky, then lands near the lake.
CLOSE ON – A Thingamajig sureys the forest, grimaceing look on his face, looks at
the moon, HISSES and INJURED WOLF HOWLS into the night…
FADE OUT
-
Lesson 8: Character Journey Track
Subject Line:(Huey J. Williams) Character Death Track
What I Learned:
Its fun and not so difficult to create Horror Stories.
The Atmosphere of Evil-
A forest near a lake illuminated by a full moon, the sounds of desperate
HISSING, an INJURED WOLF GROWL, QUICK THUMPING HITTING THE GROUND, slithers
threw the bush in hot pursuit of a eight POINT BUCK.
The Buck shrieks in pain when he is captured, bones CRUNCHING SOUNDS.
CLOSE ON – The Thingamajig’s mouth stuff with dear meat.
Then forest goes silent, an SCREECH OWL SHRIEKS, as he watches from a tree.
Dust, Alden drives Motorhome, Cory riding shotgun, Gram, Ashley, Cate and Zoey
sit together at the table, all close friends throughout High School.
Alden stops at sign that reads “Black Forest keep out”
ALDEN
Keep out, my Dad and I have spent many hunting
seasons here, we’ve captured some of the bigest
bucks in the region, perfect dear hunting.
ASHLEY
Ok, lets go home, I don’t feel like getting shot
with rock salt. Do you remember what happend when
we raided that cherry orchard last sumer.
CORY
It’s probably a prank, pay it no mind, we’re here
lets go camping.
CATE
Well, lets go home. Cory, you think everythings a
prank.
GRAM
Lets go for it, what do we have to loose, all they
can do is kick us out, if they find us.
ZOEY
Cate, I agree, I don’t like going to stange places
uninvited, especially in the woods. Its no telling
what we may find, or run into, there could be GHOSTS,
MONSTERS, maybe even a MAD KILLER.
Everyone in the motorhome starts laughing.
ALDEN
Cate chill out, I think you watch to much TV. Then
it’s settled!
They continue to the camp sight by the lake.
ACT 2 – THE POINT OF NO RETURN
The Group set up their tents near the lake and prepare for bed(Isolated)
In the bushes hiding the Thingamajig watches, not making a sound.
Gram decides to go for a jog, his nightly routine.
Gram retuns to camp and notices the motorhome is smoking.
GRAM
Hay guys the motorhome is smoking!
The Group jumps into action putting out the electrical fire.(Trapped)
ASHLEY
Now we’re trapped out in the middle of nowhere,
what’s next, someone gets lost, or maybe killed.
ALDEN
Ashley, don’t be such a baby. Nothing like that
will happen, Shad and I will protect you.
They put the electrical fire out, return to their tents, all is
quiet.
CORY
I’ll fix the electrical problem in the morning.
Suddenly, there is a loud HISSIN followed by a SICK WOLF HOWL!
Everybody jumps out of bed.
EVERYBODY
What was that! What the hell was that!
Shad begins barking and groweling, then he runs out the tent in hot pursuit
into the woods after the Thingamajig.
Alden grabs his rifle and follows shad and tries to catch up into the woods…
Everyone in the camp, Ashley, Cory, Cate, Zoey, except for Gram are gathered
together in terror huging each other.
Alden returns with only Shad’s Tags and some of his fur.
Alden hugs Ashley almost in tears.
ALDEN
Shad is gone, he die protecting us, all I found was his
tages, and fur, his fur was scattered all over the ground.
GRAM
Shad was an excellent hunter, I bet he went out fighting.
ALDEN
There’s more, while I gathered Shads things, I fealt like
I was being watched by something hiding in the
bushes. I couldn’t see it but it was there
watching me. I kept my rifle ready as I left.
The Group hugs each other tighter as Alden told the story of what he saw.
GRAM
Alden, how many extra guns did you bring?
ALDEN
The hand gun on me, my rifle, there is a hand
gun and rifle in the motorhome.
GRAM
I think we should leave the tents set up, but
everyone sleep in the motorhome tonight.
ALDEN
I agree.
The Group make their way into the motorhome and bed down for the night.
Zoey tries to make a call home on her cell phone, no signal.
ZOEY
There’s no signal out here, I can’t make a call,
now we’re really screwed. Gram, if anything happens
to me, I’ll, I’ll, you better protect me.
GRAM
As long as you’re with me love, I’m your
Superman, you know that.
Gram, and Alden armed decides to share watch duty for the night.
The Thingamajig is watching the motorhome in the bushes.
MIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought!
The Thingamajig enters the camp, ransacking the tents, then he goes to
the motorhome and peeps threw the bathroom window.
Zoey is in the bathroom bushing he teeth, when she spot the Thingamajig
big eyees enlarged face staring at her, she SCREAMS and runs out of
the bathroom.
ZOEY
There’s a monster out there, he’s peeping in
the bathroom window!
Zoey, Ashley, Cate begin SCREAMING as LOAD as they can!
The Thingamajig jumps on the motorhome HISSING, HOWLING LIKE AN INJURED WOLF,
shaking things up and it sounds like it’s saying FEED ME, FEED ME over and
over.
Alden, Gram, Cory, go into action each armed, they make their way out of the
motorhome they get their first look at the Thingamajig, and begin SHOOTING.
They make multiple hits, but it doesn’t kill it, as it runs away into the
darkness.
Alden, Gram, Cory are sweating, knees kocking, wide eyeed and they can’t believe
what they just saw.
GRAM
Lets not tell the Girls about this, not
just yet.
ALDEN
I know they will for sure are hysterical,
but they must know. We have to come up with a
way to kill this Thingamajig, what ever it is.
CORY
It looked hungry, its either us or it, the
Thingamajig, that’s a good name for it.
That’s what it looks like a Thingamajig.
We’ve learned something about it tonight,
bullets won’t kill it, mybe fire will.
Alden, Gram, Cory head back into the motorhome, they have some explaining to do.
ALDEN
I wish I had a better way to tell you this,
but we are being hunted, by something we have
named the Thingamajig. We promise you, we will
protect you, we have a plan.
Later that evening the Thingamajig strikes again this time Cate, Zoey, and Ashley all
get a look at it, as it raids the tents looking again for food or one of them.
Ashley, Cate, Zoey become hysterical, crying, sweating, Zoey soil herselves.
ACT 3 – FULL OUT HORROR
Alden, Gram, Cory fights the Thingamajig off with fire, (molotov cocktails), but not
before it grabs Gram.
Gram get to close to the Thingamajig, it grabs him and takes him away into the forest.
Alden and Cory follow Gram and the Thingamajig to it’s hideout.
The Thingamajig is half way done making a meal of Gram.
Alden and Cory bomb the Thingamajig with molotov cocktails setting refuge a blase.
The Thingamjig falls to the ground as it burns.
The Thingamajig rise and runs towards Alden, and Cory, they fire several shots, hitting it
then it falls and dies…
Alden and Cory take a close look of what’s left of Gram’s burned and half eaten body, they
bury Gram’s body before makeing their way back to the motorhome.
Ashley, Cate, Zoey stand at the motorhome happy to see Alden, and Cory, but Zoey begins
crying.
ZOEY
Where is Gram! Where is Gram!
CORY
He didn’t make it. The Thingamajig killed him,
we were fighting and the Thingamajig grabed and
ran off, we tried to save him, he died trying
to help kill the monster, we buried what was left
of him. He was a very brave young man.
Zoey burst into more tears, Ashley and Cate comfort her.
ALDEN
Grab your things, we’re leaving, we’ll hike
to the nearest main road, hitch-hike back to
town for help.
ZOEY
Poor Gram, I miss him already.
ASHLEY
We all miss him, he and Shad gave their lives so
that we could excape being killed by that Thingamajig.
CATE
I hope there are no more of those monsters around.
CORY
You never know the way the world is changing, global
warming could be causing these things.
CATE
Cory, can we talk about something else, or maybe not
at all.
Together with Ashley, Cate, Zoey Alden and Cory hike their way out to the main road,
where they catch a ride back to town for help…
What appears as a falling star lights the sky, then lands near the lake…
CLOSE ON – The Thingamajig sureys the forest, grimaceing look on his face, looks at
the moon, HISSES and INJURED WOLF HOWLS into the night…
-
Lesson 7: Monster Reveal Track
Subject Line:(Huey J. Williams) Character Death Track
What I Learned:
Its fun and not so difficult to create Horror Stories.
The Atmosphere of Evil-
A forest near a lake illuminated by a full moon, the sounds of desperate
HISSING, an injured WOLF GROWL, QUICK THUMPING HITTING THE GROUND, slithers
threw the bush in hot pursuit of a eight POINT BUCK.
The Buck shrieks in pain when he is captured, bones CRUNCHING SOUNDS.
CLOSE ON – The Thingamajig’s mouth stuff with dear meat.
Then forest goes silent, an SCREECH OWL SHRIEKS, as he watches from a tree.
Dust, a Motorhome with the Group pulls up, stops to a sign that reads
“Black Forest keep out”
ALDEN
Keep out, my Dad and I have spent many hunting
seasons here, we’ve captured some of the bigest
bucks in the region, perfect dear hunting.
ASHLEY
Ok, lets go home, I don’t feel like getting shot
with rock salt. Do you remember what happend when
we raided that cherry orchard last sumer.
CORY
It’s probably a prank, pay it no mind, we’re here
lets go camping.
CATE
Well, lets go home. Cory, you think everythings a
prank.
GRAM
Lets go for it, what do we have to loose, all they
can do is kick us out, if they find us.
ZOEY
Cate, I agree, I don’t like going to stange places
uninvited, especially in the woods. Its no telling
what we may find, or run into, there could be GHOSTS,
MONSTERS, maybe even a MAD KILLER.
Everyone in the motorhome starts laughing.
ALDEN
Cate chill out, I think you watch to much TV. Then
it’s settled!
They continue to the camp sight by the lake.
ACT 2 – THE POINT OF NO RETURN
The Group set up their tents near the lake and prepare for bed(Isolated)
In the bushes hiding the Thingamajig watches, not making a sound.
Gram decides to go for a jog, his nightly routine.
Gram retuns to camp and notices the motorhome is smoking.
GRAM
Hay guys the motorhome is smoking!
The Group jumps into action putting out the electrical fire.(Trapped)
ASHLEY
Now we’re trapped out in the middle of nowhere,
what’s next, someone gets lost, or maybe killed.
ALDEN
Ashley, don’t be such a baby.
They put the fire out and return to their tents, lights out and all is
quiet.
CORY
I’ll fix the electrical problem in the morning.
Suddenly, there is a loud HISSIN followed by a SICK WOLF HOWL!
Everybody jumps out of bed.
EVERYBODY
What was that! What the hell was that!
Shad begins barking and groweling, then he runs out the tent in hot pursuit
into the woods after the Thingamajig.
Alden grabs his rifle and follows shad and tries to catch up into the woods…
Everyone in the camp, Ashley, Cory, Cate, Zoey, except for Gram are gathered
together in terror huging each other.
Alden returns with only Shad’s Tags and some of his fur.
Alden hugs Ashley almost in tears.
ALDEN
Shad is gone, he die protecting us, all I found was his
tages, and fur, his fur was scattered all over the ground.
GRAM
Shad was an excellent hunter, I bet he went out fighting.
ALDEN
There’s more, while I gathered Shads things, I fealt like
I was being watched by something hiding in the
bushes. I couldn’t see it but it was there
watching me. I kept my rifle ready as I left.
The Group hugs each other tighter as Alden told the story of what he saw.
GRAM
Alden, how many extra guns did you bring?
ALDEN
The hand gun on me, my rifle, there is a hand
gun and rifle in the motorhome.
GRAM
I think we should leave the tents set up, but
everyone sleep in the motorhome tonight.
ALDEN
I agree.
The Group make their way into the motorhome and bed down for the night.
Zoey tries to make a call home on her cell phone, no signal.
ZOEY
There’s no signal out here, I can’t make a call,
now we’re really screwed. Gram if anything happens
to me, I’ll, I’ll, you better protect me.
GRAM
As long as you’re with me love, I’m your
Superman, you know that.
Gram, and Alden armed decides to share watch duty for the night.
The Thingamajig is watching the motorhome in the bushes.
MIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought!
The Thingamajig enters the camp, ransacking the tents, then he goes to
the motorhome and peeps threw the bathroom window.
Zoey is in the bathroom bushing he teeth, when she spot the Thingamajig
big eyees enlarged face staring at her, she SCREAMS and runs out of
the bathroom.
ZOEY
There’s a monster out there, he’s peeping in
the bathroom window!
Zoey, Ashley, Cate begin SCREAMING as LOAD as they can!
The Thingamajig jumps on the motorhome HISSING, HOWLING LIKE AN INJURED WOLF,
shaking things up and it sounds like it’s saying FEED ME, FEED ME over and
over.
Alden, Gram, Cory, go into action each armed, they make their way out of the
motorhome they get their first look at the Thingamajig, and begin SHOOTING.
They make multiple hits, but it doesn’t kill it, as it runs away into the
darkness.
Alden, Gram, Cory are sweating, knees kocking, wide eyeed and they can’t believe
what they just saw.
GRAM
Lets not tell the Girls about this, not
just yet.
ALDEN
I know they will for sure are hysterical,
but they must know. We have to come up with a
way to kill this Thingamajig, what ever it is.
CORY
It looked hungry, its either us or it, the
Thingamajig, that’s a good name for it.
That’s what it looks like a Thingamajig.
We’ve learned something about it tonight,
bullets won’t kill it, mybe fire will.
Alden, Gram, Cory head back into the motorhome, they have some explaining to do.
ALDEN
I wish I had a better way to tell you this,
but we are being hunted, by something we have
named the Thingamajig. We promise you, we will
protect you, we have a plan.
Later that evening the Thingamajig strikes again this time Cate, Zoey, and Ashley all
get a look at it, as it raids the tents looking again for food or one of them.
Ashley, Cate, Zoey become hysterical, crying, sweating, Zoey soil herselves.
ACT 3 – FULL OUT HORROR
Alden, Gram, Cory fights the Thingamajig off with fire, (molotov cocktails), but not
before it grabs Gram.
Gram get to close to the Thingamajig, it grabs him and takes him away into the forest.
Alden and Cory follow Gram and the Thingamajig to it’s hideout.
The Thingamajig is half way done making a meal of Gram.
Alden and Cory bomb the Thingamajig with molotov cocktails setting refuge a blase.
The Thingamjig falls to the ground as it burns.
The Thingamajig rise and runs towards Alden, and Cory, they fire several shots, hitting it
then it falls and dies…
Alden and Cory take a close look of what’s left of Gram’s burned and half eaten body, they
bury Gram’s body before makeing their way back to the motorhome.
Ashley, Cate, Zoey stand at the motorhome happy to see Alden, and Cory, but Zoey begins
crying.
ZOEY
Where is Gram! Where is Gram!
CORY
He didn’t make it. The Thingamajig killed him,
we were fighting and the Thingamajig grabed and
ran off, we tried to save him, he died trying
to help kill the monster, we buried what was left
of him. He was a very brave young man.
Zoey burst into more tears, Ashley and Cate comfort her.
ALDEN
Grab your things, we’re leaving, we’ll hike
to the nearest main road, hitch-hike back to
town for help.
Together with Ashley, Cate, Zoey Alden and Cory hike their way out to the main road,
where they catch a ride back to town for help…
What appears as a falling star lights the sky, then lands near the lake…
CLOSE ON – The Thingamajig sureys the forest, grimaceing look on his face, looks at
the moon, HISSES and INJURED WOLF HOWLS into the night…
-
Lesson 6: The Horror Plot Track
Subject Line:(Huey J. Williams) Character Death Track
What I Learned:
Its fun and not so difficult to create Horror Stories.
The Atmosphere of Evil-
A forest near a lake illuminated by a full moon, the sounds of desperate
HISSING, an injured WOLF GROWL, QUICK THUMPING HITTING THE GROUND, slithers
threw the bush in hot pursuit of a eight POINT BUCK. The Buck shrieks in
pain when he is captured, bones CRUNCHING, then forest goes silent, an SCREECH
OWL SHRIEKS, as he watches from a tree.
Dust, a Motorhome with the Group pulls up, stops to a sign that reads
“Black Forest, keep out”
ALDEN
Keep out, my Dad and I have spent many hunting
seasons here, we’ve captured some of the bigest
bucks in the region, perfect dear hunting.
ASHLEY
Ok, lets go home, I don’t feel like getting shot
with rock salt. Do you remember what happend when
we raided that cherry orchard last sumer.
CORY
It’s probably a prank, pay it no mind, we’re here
lets go camping.
CATE
Well, lets go home. Cory, you think everythings a
prank.
GRAM
Lets go for it, what do we have to loose, all they
can do is kick us out, if they find us.
ZOEY
Cate, I agree, I don’t like going to stange places
uninvited, especially in the woods. Its no telling
what we my find, or run into, there could be GHOSTS,
MONSTERS, maybe even a MAD KILLER.
Everyone in the motorhome starts laughing.
ALDEN
Cate chill out, I think you watch to much TV. Then
it’s settled!
They continue to the camp sight by the lake.
ACT 2 – THE POINT OF NO RETURN
The Group set up their tents near the lake and prepare for bed(Isolated)
Gram decides to go for a jog, his nightly routine, on his way back from
the run he notices the motor home is smoking.
The Group jumps into action putting out the electrical fire.(Trapped)
ASHLEY
Now we’re trapped out in the middle of nowhere,
what’s next, someone gets lost, or maybe killed.
ALDEN
Ashley, don’t be such a baby.
They put the fire out and return to their tents, lights out and all is
quiet.
CORY
I’ll fix the electrical problem in the morning.
Suddenly, there is a loud HISSIN followed by a SICK WOLF HOWL!
Everybody jumps out of bed.
EVERYBODY
What was that! What the hell was that!
Shad begins barking and groweling, then he runs out the tent in hot pursuit
into the woods after the Thingamajig.
Alden grabs his rifle and follows shad and tries to catch up into the woods…
Everyone in the camp, Ashley, Cory, Cate, Zoey, except for Gram are gathered
together in terror huging each other, when Alden returns with only Shad’s Tags
and some of his fur. Alden hugs Ashley almost in tears.
ALDEN
Shad is gone, he die protecting us, all I found was his
tages, and fur scattered all over the ground.
GRAM
Shad was an excellent hunter, I bet he went out fighting.
ALDEN
Something very strange happened,
while I gathered Shads things, I fealt like
I was being watched by something hiding in the
bushes. I couldn’t see it but it was there
watching me. I kept my rifle ready as I left.
The Group hugs each other tighter as the terror chills their bones.
GRAM
Alden, how many extra guns did you bring?
ALDEN
The hand guns on me, my rifle, there is a hand
gun and rifle in the motorhome.
GRAM
I think we should leave the tents set up, but
everyone sleep in the motorhome tonight.
ALDEN
I agree.
The Group make their way into the motorhome and bed down for the night.
Zoey tries to make a call home on her cell phone, no signal.
ZOEY
There’s no signal out here, I can’t make a call,
now we’re really screwed. Gram if anything happens
to me, I’ll, I’ll, you better protect me.
GRAM
As long as you’re with me love, I’m your
Superman, you know that.
Gram, and Alden armed decides to share watch duty for the night.
The Thingamajig is watching the motorhome in the bushes.
MIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought!
The Thingamajig enters the camp, checking the tents, then he goes to
the motorhome and peeps threw the bathroom window.
Zoey is in the bathroom bushing he teeth, when she spot the Thingamajig
big eyees enlarged face staring at her, she SCREAMS and runs out of
the bathroom.
ZOEY
There’s a monster out there, he’s peeping in
the bathroom window!
Zoey, Ashley, Cate begin SCREAMING as LOAD as they can!
The Thingamajig jumps on the motorhome HISSING, HOWLING LIKE AN INJURED WOLF,
shaking things up and it sounds like it’s saying FEED ME, FEED ME over and
over.
Alden, Gram, Cory, go into action each armed, they make their way out of the
motorhome they get their first look at the Thingamajig, and begin SHOOTING.
They make multiple hits, but it doesn’t kill it, as it runs away into the
darkness.
Alden, Gram, Cory are sweating, knees kocking, wide eyeed and they can’t believe
what they just saw.
GRAM
Lets not tell the Girls about this, not
just yet.
ALDEN
Ya right, they will for sure become hysterical,
but they must know. We have to come up with a
way to kill this Thingamajig, what ever it is.
CORY
It looked hungry, its either us or it, the
Thingamajig, that’s a good name for it.
That’s what it looks like a Thingamajig.
We learned something about it tonight,
bullets won’t kill it, mybe fire will.
Alden, Gram, Cory head back into the motorhome, they have some explaining to do
but it doesn’t go so well.
ALDEN
I wish I had a better way to tell you this,
but we are being hunted, by something we have
named the Thingamajig. We promise you, it will
be taken care of, we have a plan.
Later that evening the Thingamajig strikes again this time the all the Girls get a look
at it, as it raids the tents looking for their food.
Ashley, Cate, Zoey become hysterical, crying, sweating, Zoey soil herselves.
ACT 3 – FULL OUT HORROR
Alden, Gram, Cory fights the Thingamajig off with fire, (molotov cocktails), but not
before it grabs Gram.
Gram get to close to the Thingamajig, it grabs him and takes him away into the forest.
Alden and Cory follow Gram and the Thingamajig to it’s hideout.
The Thingamajig is half way done making a meal of Gram.
Alden and Cory bomb the Thingamajig with molotov cocktails setting refuge a blase.
The Thingamjig falls to the ground as it burns.
The Thingamajig rise and runs towards Alden, and Cory, they fire several shots, hitting it
then it falls and dies…
Alden and Cory take a close look of what’s left of Gram’s burned and half eaten body, they
bury Gram’s body before makeing their way back to the motorhome.
Ashley, Cate, Zoey stand at the motorhome happy to see Alden, and Cory, but Zoey begins
crying.
ZOEY
Where is Gram! Where is Gram!
CORY
He didn’t make it. The Thingamajig killed him,
we were fighting and the Thingamajig grabed and
ran off, we tried to save him, he died trying
to help kill the monster, we buried what was left
of him. He was a very brave young man.
Zoey burst into more tears, Ashley and Cate comfort her.
ALDEN
Grab your things, we’re leaving, we’ll hike
to the nearest main road, hitch-hike back to
town for help.
Together with Ashley, Cate, Zoey Alden and Cory hike their way out to the main road,
where they catch a ride back to town for help…
What appears as a falling star lights the sky, then lands near the lake.
CLOSE ON – Another Thingamajig sureys the forest…
-
Lesson 4: The Horror Plot Track
Subject Line:(Huey J. Williams) Horror Situation Track
What I Learned:
Its fun and not so difficult to create Horror Stories.
The Atmosphere of Evil-
A forest near a lake illuminated by a full moon, the sounds of desperate
HISSING, an injured WOLF GROWL, QUICK THUMPING HITTING THE GROUND, slithers
threw the bush in hot pursuit of a eight POINT BUCK. The Buck shrieks in
pain when he is captured, bones CRUNCHING, then forest goes silent, an SCREECH
OWL SHRIEKS, as he watches from a tree.
Dust, a Motorhome with the Group pulls up, stops to a sign that reads
“Black Forest, keep out”
ALDEN
Keep out, my Dad and I have spent many hunting
seasons here, we’ve captured some of the bigest
bucks in the region, perfect dear hunting.
ASHLEY
Ok, lets go home, I don’t feel like getting shot
with rock salt. Do you remember what happend when
we raided that cherry orchard last sumer.
CORY
It’s probably a prank, pay it no mind, we’re here
lets go camping.
CATE
Well, lets go home. Cory, you think everythings a
prank.
GRAM
Lets go for it, what do we have to loose, all they
can do is kick us out, if they find us.
ZOEY
Cate, I agree, I don’t like going to stange places
uninvited, especially in the woods. Its no telling
what we my find, or run into, there could be GHOSTS,
MONSTERS, maybe even a MAD KILLER.
Everyone in the motorhome starts laughing.
ALDEN
Cate chill out, I think you watch to much TV. Then
it’s settled!
They continue to the camp sight by the lake.
ACT 2 – THE POINT OF NO RETURN
The Group set up their tents near the lake and prepare for bed(Isolated)
Gram decides to go for a jog, his nightly routine, on his way back from
the run he notices the motor home is smoking.
The Group jumps into action putting out the electrical fire.(Trapped)
ASHLEY
Now we’re trapped out in the middle of nowhere,
what’s next, someone gets lost, or maybe killed.
ALDEN
Ashley, don’t be such a baby.
They put the fire out and return to their tents, lights out and all is
quiet.
CORY
I’ll fix the electrical problem in the morning.
Suddenly, there is a loud HISSIN followed by a SICK WOLF HOWL!
Everybody jumps out of bed.
EVERYBODY
What was that! What the hell was that!
Shad begins barking and groweling, then he runs out the tent in hot pursuit
into the woods after the Thingamajig.
Alden grabs his rifle and follows shad and tries to catch up into the woods…
Everyone in the camp, Ashley, Cory, Cate, Zoey, except for Gram are gathered
together in terror huging each other, when Alden returns with only Shad’s Tags
and some of his fur. Alden hugs Ashley almost in tears.
ALDEN
Shad is gone, all I found was his tages, and
fur scattered all over the ground.
GRAM
Shad was an excellent hunter, I bet he went out fighting.
ALDEN
Something very strange happened,
while I gathered Shads things, I fealt like
I was being watched by something hiding in the
bushes. I couldn’t see it but it was there
watching me. I kept my rifle ready as I left.
The Group hugs each other tighter as the terror chills their bones.
GRAM
Alden, how many extra guns did you bring?
ALDEN
The hand guns on me, my rifle, there is a hand
gun and rifle in the motorhome.
GRAM
I think we should leave the tents set up, but
everyone sleep in the motorhome tonight.
ALDEN
I agree.
The Group make their way into the motorhome and bed down for the night.
Zoey tries to make a call home on her cell phone, no signal.
ZOEY
There’s no signal out here, I can’t make a call,
now we’re really screwed. Gram if anything happens
to me, I’ll, I’ll, you better protect me.
GRAM
As long as you’re with me love, I’m your
Superman, you know that.
Gram, and Alden armed decides to share watch duty for the night.
The Thingamajig is watching the motorhome in the bushes.
MIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought!
The Thingamajig enters the camp, checking the tents, then he goes to
the motorhome and peeps threw the bathroom window.
Zoey is in the bathroom bushing he teeth, when she spot the Thingamajig
big eyees enlarged face staring at her, she SCREAMS and runs out of
the bathroom.
ZOEY
There’s a monster out there, he’s peeping in
the bathroom window!
Zoey, Ashley, Cate begin SCREAMING as LOAD as they can!
The Thingamajig jumps on the motorhome HISSING, HOWLING LIKE AN INJURED WOLF,
shaking things up and it sounds like it’s saying FEED ME, FEED ME over and
over.
Alden, Gram, Cory, go into action each armed, they make their way out of the
motorhome they get their first look at the Thingamajig, and begin SHOOTING.
They make multiple hits, but it doesn’t kill it, as it runs away into the
darkness.
Alden, Gram, Cory are sweating, knees kocking, wide eyeed and they can’t believe
what they just saw.
GRAM
Lets not tell the Girls about this, not
just yet.
ALDEN
Ya right, they will for sure become hysterical,
but they must know. We have to come up with a
way to kill this Thingamajig, what ever it is.
CORY
It looked hungry, its either us or it, the
Thingamajig, that’s a good name for it.
That’s what it looks like a Thingamajig.
We learned something about it tonight,
bullets won’t kill it, mybe fire will.
Alden, Gram, Cory head back into the motorhome, they have some explaining to do
but it doesn’t go so well.
ALDEN
I wish I had a better way to tell you this,
but we are being hunted, by something we have
named the Thingamajig. We promise you, it will
be taken care of, we have a plan.
Later that evening the Thingamajig strikes again this time the all the Girls get a look
at it, as it raids the tents looking for their food.
Ashley, Cate, Zoey become hysterical, crying, sweating, Zoey soil herselves.
ACT 3 – FULL OUT HORROR
Alden, Gram, Cory fights the Thingamajig off with fire, (molotov cocktails), but not
before it grabs Gram.
Gram get to close to the Thingamajig, it grabs him and takes him away into the forest.
Alden and Cory follow Gram and the Thingamajig to it’s hideout.
The Thingamajig is half way done making a meal of Gram.
Alden and Cory bomb the Thingamajig with molotov cocktails setting refuge a blase.
The Thingamjig falls to the ground as it burns.
The Thingamajig rise and runs towards Alden, and Cory, they fire several shots, hitting it
then it falls and dies…
Alden and Cory take a close look of what’s left of Gram’s burned and half eaten body, they
bury Gram’s body before makeing their way back to the motorhome.
Ashley, Cate, Zoey stand at the motorhome happy to see Alden, and Cory, but Zoey begins
crying.
ZOEY
Where is Gram! Where is Gram!
CORY
He didn’t make it. The Thingamajig killed him,
we buried what was left of him.
Zoey burst into more tears, Ashley and Cate comfort her.
ALDEN
Grab your things, we’re leaving, we’ll hike
to the nearest main road, hitch-hike back to
town for help.
Together with Ashley, Cate, Zoey Alden and Cory hike their way out to the main road,
where they catch a ride back to town for help…
What appears as a falling star lights the sky, then lands near the lake.
CLOSE ON – Another Thingamajig sureys the forest…
-
Lesson 4: The Horror Plot Track
Subject Line:(Huey J. Williams) Horror Plot
What I Learned:
Its fun and not so difficult to create Horror Stories.
The Atmosphere of Evil-
A forest near a lake illuminated by a full moon, the sounds of desperate
HISSING, an injured WOLF GROWL, QUICK THUMPING HITTING THE GROUND, slithers
threw the bush in hot pursuit of a eight POINT BUCK. The Buck shrieks in
pain when he is captured, bones CRUNCHING, then forest goes silent, an SCREECH
OWL SHRIEKS, as he watches from a tree.
Dust, a Motorhome with the Group pulls up, stops to a sign that reads
“Black Forest, keep out”
ALDEN
Keep out, my Dad and I have spent many hunting
seasons here, we’ve captured some of the bigest
bucks in the region, perfect dear hunting.
ASHLEY
Ok, lets go home, I don’t feel like getting shot
with rock salt. Do you remember what happend when
we raided that cherry orchard last sumer.
CORY
It’s probably a prank, pay it no mind, we’re here
lets go camping.
CATE
Well, lets go home. Cory, you think everythings a
prank.
GRAM
Lets go for it, what do we have to loose, all they
can do is kick us out, if they find us.
ZOEY
Cate, I agree, I don’t like going to stange places
uninvited, especially in the woods. Its no telling
what we my find, or run into, there could be GHOSTS,
MONSTERS, maybe even a MAD KILLER.
Everyone in the motorhome starts laughing.
ALDEN
Then it’s settled!
They continue to the camp sight by the lake.
ACT 2 – THE POINT OF NO RETURN
The Group set up their tents near the lake and prepare for bed(Isolated)
Gram decides to go for a jog, his nightly routine, on his way back from
the run he notices the motor home is smoking.
The Group jumps into action putting out the electrical fire.(Trapped)
ASHLEY
Now we’re trapped out in the middle of nowhere,
what’s next, someone gets lost, or maybe killed.
ALDEN
Ashley, don’t be such a baby.
They put the fire out and return to their tents, lights out and all is
quiet. Cory agrees to fix the electrical problem in the morning.
Suddenly, there is a loud HISSIN followed by a SICK WOLF HOWL!
Everybody jumps out of bed.
EVERYBODY
What was that! What the hell was that!
Shad begins barking and groweling, then he runs out the tent in hot pursuit
into the woods after the Thingamajig.
Alden grabs his rifle and follows shad and tries to catch up into the woods…
Everyone in the camp, Ashley, Cory, Cate, Zoey, except for Gram are gathered
together in terror huging each other, when Alden returns with only Shad’s Tags
and some of his fur. Alden hugs Ashley almost in tears.
ALDEN
Shad is gone, all I found was his tages, and
fur scattered all over the ground.
GRAM
Shad was an excellent hunter, I bet he went out fighting.
ALDEN
Something very strange happened,
while I gathered Shads things, I fealt like
I was being watched by something hiding in the
bushes. I couldn’t see it but it was there
watching me. I kept my rifle ready as I left.
The Group hugs each other tighter as the terror chills their bones.
GRAM
Alden, how many extra guns did you bring?
ALDEN
The hand guns on me, and one other hand gun and
another rifle in the motorhome.
GRAM
I think we should leave the tents set up, but
everyone sleep in the motorhome tonight.
ALDEN
I agree.
The Group make their way into the motorhome and bed down for the night.
Zoey tries to make a call home on her cell phone, no signal.
ZOEY
There’s no signal out here, I can’t make a call,
now we’re really screwed. Gram if anything happens
to me, I’ll, I’ll, you better protect me.
GRAM
As long as you’re with me love, I’m your
Superman, you know that.
Gram, and Alden armed decides to share watch duty for the night.
MIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought!
The Thingamajig enters the camp, checking the tents, then it jumps on the
motorhome HISSING, HOWLING LIKE AN INJURED WOLF, shaking things up.
Zoey, Ashley, Cate begin SCREAMING!
Alden, Gram, Cory, go into action each armed, they make their way out of the
motorhome they get their first look at the Thingamajig, and begin SHOOTING.
They make multiple hits, but it doesn’t kill it, as it runs away into the
darkness.
Alden, Gram, Cory are sweating, knees kocking, wide eyeed and they can’t believe
what they just saw.
GRAM
Lets not tell the Girls about this, not
just yet.
ALDEN
Agreed, they will for sure become hysterical,
we have to come up with a way to kill this
Thingamajig, what ever it is.
CORY
It looked hungry, its either us or it, the
Thingamajig, that’s a good name for it.
That’s what it looks like a Thingamajig.
We learned something about it tonight,
bullets won’t kill it, mybe fire will.
Alden, Gram, Cory head back into the motorhome, they have some explaining to do
but they don’t go so well.
ALDEN
I wish I had a better way to tell you this,
but we are being hunted, by something we have
named the Thingamajig. We promise you, it will
be taken care of, web have a plan.
Later that evening the Thingamajig strikes again this time the Girls get a look
at it.
Ashley, Cate, Zoey become hysterical, crying, sweating, one of them soil herselves.
ACT 3 – FULL OUT HORROR
Alden, Gram, Cory fights the Thingamajig off with fire, (molotov cocktails), but not
before it grabs Gram and takes him away into the forest.
Alden and Cory follow Gram and the Thingamajig to it’s hideout.
Just as the Thingamajig begins making a meal of Gram, Alden and Cory bomb it with
molotov cocktails setting refuge a blase, it falls to the ground as it burns.
The Thingamajig rise and runs towards Alden, and Cory, they fire several shots at, it
falls and dies…
Alden and Cory make their way back to the motorhome, together with Ashley, Cate, Zoey
they hike their way out to the main road where they hitch-hike back to town for help…
-
Lesson 3: Survivors and Victims
Subject Line: (Huey J. Williams) Characters for Horror
What I learned:
How to create interesting characters to play the roles of the movie.
Movie: “THE THINGAMAJIG”-
A GROUP Of YOUNG ADULTS head out to the woods near a lake for some camping,
fishing, drinking, and romance to celebrate High School Graduations before
they ship out to collage.
Dying Pattern:
The outing starts out wonderful until they become terrorized, attacked,
and hunted by the Thingamajig, most survive, but TWO OF THE YOUTHS and
Alden’s DOG die to save the OTHERS.
CHARACTERS:
LEADER: ALDEN-most experienced with camping and hunting, runs a Sports shop with his
Dad, a good tracker.
ALDEN’S DOG SHAD(German Shepherd) very well trained to hunt.
MORAL ONE: ASHLEY-Alden’s girlfriend, a city girl not very big on camping and hunting,
strong morals, her Mom a nurse, she has first aid skills.
A TAGALONG: COREY-a comic book junky, brainiac, but a little dopey.
A TAGALONG: CATE-Corey’s other half, a fish out of water, never been camping in her
life, her Dad’s a Sheriff, she reads crime stories when the lights are out at campsite.
RESCUER: GRAM-body builder, fulback on High School Varsity Football Team, tuff, fearless,
once a gang leader before joining the football team.
COMPLAINER: ZOEY-Grams girlfriend, daughter of a well off Family, she doesn’t like anything
about camping or hunting, the mosquito’s, the bugs, laying on the ground, the noises at night,
sometimes she gets out of control, she’s sorry she came.
-
Lesson 2 Crafting Your Monster
Subject Line (Huey J. Williams) Terrifying Monster
What I Learned:
How to create scary Monsters.
FIVE PARTS OF THE MONSTER
1.Terror
How does the Monster Terrorize? –
He looks hideous, with grave cloths, jumps out HISSING, EXPANDING HIS HEAD AND EYES,
LONG DIRTY FINGERNAILS, DIRTY HANDS, SPITS A BLACK SUBSTANCE that if you step in
it holds you where you stand, it GROWLS LIKE A WOLF, he landed on earth from
another planet, he eats poeple and any other animal it captures.
How does the Monster Pursue? –
On land at night, unseen, without warning, it hops very fast after you til it traps you
or spits the sticky substance on you, HISSING and GROWLING as it chases you.
How does the Monster Isolate? –
He carts you off to his lair, or he eats you on the spot he captures you, it depends on
hungry he is.
What is the terrible thing they do? –
He eats people and animals, and he’s a predator.
How does the Monster cause death? –
He eats his victums.
What makes this Inescapable? –
The sticky substance he spits is from another world, it welds you to the ground until
he grabs you, there is no escape.
What is the most mysterious thing about this Monster? –
The Monster is from another Planet, it fears starvation, it’s very tactical, as if military
trained, it must be trapped, captured, many attempts are made to kill Monster but they fail
and he escapes.
Mythology:
The Monster is from a dying over populated planet, low on food supply, forced to search
the Galaxy for a food source, he probaly won’t be the last.
-
Lesson 1 Horror Concept and Conventions
Subject Line: Movie Title – PUMPKINHEAD – Horror Conventions
What I learned –
How to identify Horror Conventions while watching
a movie.
Title/Cocept
Pumpkinhead – Father who’s son is kill by GROUP OF YOUTHS seeks the aid
of a witch to administer justice to those responsible by
way of awakening a monster from the grave.
Terrorize The Charaters – The story open with a terrorized Family, father,
wife and son are isolated in the woods, in terror of something and a man’s
screaming outside their home for help.
The man running in the woods cries out for help as he’s being chased by a
monster, the tension amplifies when we see quick flashes of the monster.
The Group of Youths discover what real terror is as they are one by one are
chased and killed by the monster, only a few of them survive.
It’s a departure from reality is when the monster starts killing off the
Young Group responsible for the child’s accidental death.
The Moral Statement is to never leave the scene of an accident, when there’s
an injury or death.
-
HUEY J. WILLIAMS
I have written two scripts and several shorts.
I would like to learn the art of writing low budget Horror Movies that are Marketable and
fun to create.
I’m retired, experienced in many things, a fair amount of imagination, I enjoy brainstorming all
subjects, and an open mind to new ideas. Unique!
-
HUEY J. WILLIAMS
“I agree to the terms of this release form”
-
Week 3 Day 5: Stacking Intrigue – Game Of Thrones
The clip from Game of Thrones was unavailable due to Copywrite issues, so
I’m using Every Game Of Thrones Recap Seasons 1 through 7. I never watched
the series while it aired, but after watching the recaps, every scene is
packed with treachery, betrayal, secretes, power struggles, suprise, deception,
Love, good and bad leadership, I can go on. I see why it’s a success every scene
engages you, it’s so many things going on, I bet it took a GROUP OF WRITER to
keep up with the show and they did an excellent job. The writers stacked
intrigue and plenty of action in every scene, that writing would be very hard
to top…
What I learned:
The power of stacking intrigue, it amplifies GRADIENT, TRANSFORMATIONAL JOURNEY,
DEPTH of the story, BUILDS TENSION, PROFOUND MOMENTS, makes everything more
interesting, and entaining…
THE PITCH:
ACE IDEN, an Artificial Intelligence experiment gone bad, hunted by his corporate creators.
Title: “Iden Cover-Up”
Genre: AI Thriller
FADE IN:
INT. AI CORPORATE EXPERIMENTAL LAB – EVENING
Its the end of an AI implant operation, ACE IDEN is confined to an operating table, he breaks
free, throws the SURGEONS out of the way and escapes the room.
Ace is confronted by SEVERAL SECURITY GUARDS, he takes out all of them with superior fighting
ability, unmatched strength, then makes his way out of the building.
EXT. AI CORPORATE EXPERIMENTAL LAB – EVENING
Ace runs out of the building, jumps into the nearest car, hotwires it, one of Security grabs the
car, Ace races away, the Guard is thrown to the ground.
INT. AI CORPORATION EXPERIMENT LAB – EVENING
Security makes his way back to the Surgeons.
SECURITY
He stole a car, and got away.
The Surgeon goes to his advanced computer system and tracks Ace.
EXT. ACE IDEN’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Ace drives to his house, parks and goes to the door and knocks.
ACE IDEN
HELEN, it’s me Ace.
A WOMAN inside the house responds without opening the door.
WOMAN
There is no Helen living here, go away or I’ll call the Police.
Ace walks away, then TWO CORPORATE GOOMS jump out of a parked car as he passes them.
Guns drawn the try to take Ace into custody, there’s a fight, one man is immediately knock
out by a kick, the other man gets off a shot that missed Ace, and he is knock out, both men
lie on the ground.
Ace takes their guns, the money from wallets, and the keys to their car, jumps in and drives
away.
Ace finds a secluded hidden spot to spend the night, then in the morning he ditches the car
and leaves on foot.
EXT./INT. A SMALL BANK – NOON
Ace enters a small bank, approaches a TELLER, draws a gun.
ACE IDEN
This is a hold up, everybody on the floor, keep quiet and no
one will get hurt!
ALL THE PEOPLE in the bank comply, Ace is in and out of the bank with the cash quickly,
then he runs down a side street, back to the stolen car and drives away…
TO BE CONTINUED
FADE OUT
-
Week 3 Day 4 – Visual Reveals – Breaking Bad
I always thought the egg comes before the chicken, but in the opening
scene, a dirty pair of trouser fly in the sky, go figure. Then they
are ran over by a motorhome being desperately driven by a MAN in his
underweare, also he’s wearing a gas mask. Joining him in the motorhome
are TWO OTHER dead MEN also in underweare and gas masks, and scatter all
about the floor of the motorehome is lots of drug paraphernalia. It’s
revealed immediately that something unscrupulous is going on, not to
mentsion losing control of and crashing the motorhome off the road.
WALTER WHITE jumps out of the motorhome and removes his mask, Police
sirens are heard in the distance. Walter partially closes himself, holds
is breath, runs back into the motorhome to grab his ID, video camera and
a gun off of one of the dead men. Then Walter films himself making a
confession to the Police another reveal, as the Police sirens close in…
What I Learned:
Reveals engage you immediately, but you half to disguise them until the right
time, best presented when they surprise you.
THE PITCH:
JOHN BIGSBY, retired a man of many talents, and experiences, wishes to return
to youth knowing the things life has taught him at his present age. (Be careful
what you wish for…)
GENRE: FANTICY
TITLE: “The Dream”
FADE IN:
INT. JOHN BIGSBY’S HOUSE – AFTERNOON
John Bigsby stands at the livingroom window watching the CHILDREN play in the
nieghborhood playground. The energy of the children makes him tired, he heads
for the bedroom for his daily constitutional.(a nap)
John lies down on his bed, momment later he falls asleep, he begins dreaming.
DISSOLVE
EXT. DOWNTOWN STREET – TIMELESS
Young John Bigsby stands on a busy downtown street not much older than nineteen
years of age, touching himself all over, aches, pains gone, wrinkles, hair loss
gone, a whole new spirit radiates within him head to toe.
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
Boy, I feel great! And I can see a mile
away, wow!
A help wanted sign, the sign reads “Labor position available, apply here” catches
Young John Bigsby’s attention and he answers the call, he hurries into the building.
EXT. BUSY CONSTRUCTION SITE – TIMELESS
Young John Bigsby, hard hat, gloves, tool belt, carrying scaffold supplies.
His Foreman TED watches him, noticing that he is a hard worker.
EXT,/INT. HOMELESS SHELTER – TIMELLESS
Homeless Young John Bigsby makes his way into the homeless shelter for a meal, a
shower and a bed.
During his week stay at the shelter he’s surrounded by SHADY CHARACTERS. ONE MAN
tries to take his tool belt, there’s a tussle.
Young John Bigsby kicks the man in the chest, he falls to the floor, the man gets
up and walks away.
Several days later the man returns with TWO OTHER MEN, Young John Bigsby assumes his
Martial Arts stance prepared for battle.
All three men decide not to fight and walk away.
EXT. BUSY CONSTRUCTION SITE – TIMELESS
Young John Bigsby hammers away as part of the framing crew, a promotion.
FOREMAN TED
John, you’re doing a great job.
Foreman Ted hands Young John his first paycheck.
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
Just doing my job, Sir.
Young John hurries back to work.
EXT./INT. BROKERAGE FIRM – TIMELESS
Young John Bigsby opens an account, deposits his check, and keeps enough
money to get a room.
INT. YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY ROOM – TIMELESS
A shabby little room, a cockroach or two, but it keeps the elements out, it’s
private and it has an internet connection.
The following week after work Young John Bigsby stops by a pawn shop, purchases
a used Iphone and the games a foot.
INT. UBER CAB DRIVER DRIVING THE CITY STREET – TIMELESS
Young John Bigsby sits in back of headed for the Malibu Horse Racetrack.
EXT. MALIBU HORSE RACETRACK – TIMELESS
Young John Bigsby exits the uber cab and hurries into the track and places a bet
just before the races starts.
Young John Bigsby in the stands jumping, cheering as his picks cross the finish
line first, second, third, just as he bet, and the cash starts trickle in.
EXT. BUSY CONSTRUCTION SITE – TIMELESS
The beeping sounds of a flatbed Truck backin up with a heavy load of building supplies
comes to a stop in unloading area.
Young John Bigsby sit on a forklift and begins unloading pallets of concrete, lumber,
roofing materials, etc.
Foreman Ted watches as Young John Bigsby places items in the appropriate place, without
supervision. Foreman gives John a thumbs up.
Young John salutes him.
SEVERAL of the OTHER WORKERS set out to betray Young John, they put a garden snake in
his locker out of jealousy.
Young John discovers the snake when he opens his locker, picks up the snake and walks
past the other workers with it in hand.
INT. UBER CAB – TIMELESS
Young John Bigsby sits in back the uber cab headed for the Malibu Race Track.
EXT. MALIBU HORSERACE TRACK – TIMELESS
Immediately after getting out of the cab Young John Bigsby is surroundrd by BIG MONEY PLAYERS
dressed to kill.
Young John Bigsby places five big money bets, then heads to the stands prepares for the race.
The BEAUTIFUL THERAEBEDE HORSES stand on two legs eager to race as the HANDLERS place them into
the barriers. Young John watches from the stands.
MONTAGE:
Five races take place.
All of Young John’s picks hit!
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
Like taking candy from a baby!
Young John Bigsby collects his six fiqure cashiers check, has SECURITY walk him to his waiting
Chauffer Uber Driver, he hops in and they drive away.
On the way home Young John treats his Chauffer to an expensive dinner at the best restaurant,
in town, then slips him a very large tip.
EXT. AN AFFLUENT NIEGHBORHOOD – TIMELESS
Young John meets up with a REALTOR who shows him his dream house, after the walk threw, then
reaching a price.
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
I’ll take it, do you take cash?
REALTOR
Of course. I’ll draw up bill of sale immediately!
Young John accompanies the Realtor to her office, signs the paperwork, hands her the check.
REALTOR
You can move in five days, it’s been a pleasure doing
business with you Mr. Bigsby.
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
I’ll need an Interior Decorator, who could you recommend?
The Realtor hands John a card with the Interior Decorator’s info and the shake hands
and he leaves.
EXT. BUSY CONSTRUCTION SITE – TIMELESS
Young John sits with the FRAMING CREW at lunch time.
Young John walks over to the Foreman’s trailer and enters.
INT. FOREMAN’S TRAILER – TIMELESS
Young John enters and goes in Foreman Ted’s office.
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
Sir, I will be leaving in five days, personal business
to attend to.
FOREMAN TED
Sorry to hear that, you’re doing such a good job,I hope
it’s not serious.
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
No, it’s not at all, something that I half to do.
FOREMAN TED
You are an asset to the company, if its money, I’ll be
glad to increase your pay.
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
That won’t be necessary, I’ll work five more days, that’s
my notice.
Young John extends his hand, they shake and he leaves the trailer and heads back to work.
EXT. MERCEDES DEALER – TIMELESS
Young John, dressed in formal attire, shaved, well trimmed hair cut, plenty of cash walks the
Mercedes lot looking but not finding his dream car. He enters the showroom.
INT. MERCEDES DEALER – TIMELESS
Young John wonders the showroom floor, stops in his tracks when he lands on the Mercedes Mansory
AMG E635, love at first sight, he hops into the drivers seat.
The SALESMAN approaches, Young John hops out of the car.
SALESMAN
Welcome to the Dealership, how may I help you?
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
Yes, I would like to drive the Mansory AMG E635, please.
SALESMAN
I’m sorry Sir, but this a very expensive car and I can’t
let you…
Young John stops the Salesman in the middle of his sentence, when he takes a large roll
of Thousand Dollar Bills from his pocket.
It captures the Salesman’s attention, his undivided attention.
SALESMAN
Just a minute Sir, I’ll get the keys!
After the test drive, paperwork, Young John pays cash, leaves showroom.
EXT. MERCEDES DEALER – TIMELESS
Young John leaves the Dealer, hops into his Mercedes AMG, and drives away.
EXT. COASTLINE OCEAN VIEW HIGHWAY – TIMELESS
As though racing the Great Nurburg Ring in Germany, Young John negotiates the winding
coastal road with grace, as he becomes one with the AMG E635…
EXT./ INT. YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY’S NEW DIGS – TIMELESS
Young John approaches his home, pulls into the garage, before going into the house, stops,
stairs at the AMG as if giving the car a big hug, then enters the house.
The decor of the house is young man cave, with all the toys, Young John logs on to his
computer to check the bond, forex, futures, Market, then takes a dip in the pool.
The phone rings, Young John exits the pool, answers the phone.
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
Hello!
No one answers just HEAVY BREATHING, then they hang up.
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
That’s strange, probably a wrong number.
Young John takes a shower, gets dressed and goes for a ride to explore the town in which he lives.
INT./EXT. DOWNTOWN CITY – TIMELESS
Young John rides all over town studying the Business district, the City Hall, the Merchants, etc.,
his final tour ends in the redlight district.
Young John recieves whistles and waves from a VERY BEAUTIFUL GROUP OF WOMEN standing on the corners
in short, tight attire as he drives by.
Red and blue lights flash on him just as he leaves the redlight district, a POLICE OFFICER
pulls him over and walks up to the car.
POLICE OFFICER
License, registration, and prof of Insurance, please?
Young John complies with the request, hands the Officer the information.
POLICE OFFICER
I pull you over, because your car has no plates, just a temporary,
there has been a lot of car thiefts in this area. Do your Parents
know you are out driving their car?
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
Yes, they know, my DAD lets me drive the car all the time.
The Officer hands Young John back his documents.
POLICE OFFICER
It would be wise for you to stay out of the redlight district, I’ll
be keeping an eye on you.
Young John is released and drives away.
Young John stops at a redlight and a car stops next to him with FOUR MEN inside, they stair at
him, the man in the front passenger seat make an unfriendly remark.
MAN IN CAR
Out showing off in Daddy’s car, are we? I bet you
just got your license yesterday, you little squirt.
Young John gives them the Mafia gangster gun hand icon and drives away. The men laugh at him.
Young John tries to live as secluded as possible, but his wealth, lifestyle, intellect, is making
the TOWNS PEOPLE very curious, how a young man his age can have so much, be so mature, and
where is his PARENTS. They aren’t the only ones taking notice, the MOB, his NEIGHBORS and EVERYONE
ELSE, and they all want a piece of the action.
INT./EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD MARKET -TIMELESS
Young John pulls into the supermarket, parks and enters and begins shopping, starting with vegetables,
then meats, poultry, spices, water, juices, snacks.
There’s a Beautiful Young girl following him from isle to isle and she gets closer and close until they
bump into one another, they smile and gaze into each other’s eyes.
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
Excuse me! Did I bump you or did you bump, I was busy
thinking about what I’m cooking for dinner.
JERRI NELSON
It’s my fault, I wasn’t watching where I was going, I’m
Jerri Nelson and you are?
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
John, John Bigsby, it’s a pleasure meeting you.
Jerri and John take each others hand and continue gazing into each other’s eyes.
JERRI NELSON
What are cooking for dinner?
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
One of my gourmet specials, roast lamb salad, something
lite.
JERRI NELSON
That sounds delicious, your lady will love that.
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
I don’t have a lady at the momment.
JERRI NELSON
I would love to be your lady, and have dinner with you,
ask me!
They both smile from ear to ear.
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
Jerri Nelson, will you have dinner with me?
JERRI NELSON
John, I would love to have dinner with you.
Jerri and John finish shopping, they leave the Market, he takes her home and agrees
to pick her up in an hour, he goes home, prepares the meal and gets dressed in formal
attire.
INT. YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY’S DIGS – TIMELESS
Jerri a picture of beauty, John a Prince face each other sipping a glass of expensive
win by candle light, soft music in the background, gazing into each other’s eyes.
JERRI NELSON
That was a wonderful meal, everything is so romantic.
You are an excellent cook, we must do this again.
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
Jerri, you are so beautiful, I would do anything to please
you, take you to the most beautiful places in the world.
JERRI NELSON
Dance with me.
John takes Jerri by the hand and they begin slow dancing, her head on his shoulder, it’s
the begining of many wonderful momments together…
The town is showing a deep interest in Young John and his Family, they roll out a red carpet
welcome.
MONTAGE:
Young John and his Parents invites to –
Dinner Engagements,
Fund Raisers,
Political Functions,
Church Socials,
In every gathering that Young John attended he nearly ran out of excuses why his parents weren’t
there with him. He decided to invite Jerri over and tell her what was really going on.
INT. YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY’S HOUSE – TIMELESS
Jerri and John are sitting together comfortablely.
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
I don’t know if you will understand this, but I’m
living a dream, I have no Parents, and I will be
leaving soon.
JERRI NELSON
Where will you go, can I go with you, I will where
ever it is.
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
You won’t be able to come with me, it’s a different
world.
There’s a forceful knock at the door.
Young John answers the door, nearly pushed to the floor as it opens it’s the MOB, the BOSS and
TWO of HIS BOYS and the Boss starts immediately barking out oders.
THE BOSS
John, that’s your name right, sit down next to your
girl, and don’t say a word until I tell you to speak.
Now, I heard about your horse race game, how you make
the big bets and win everytime. I want in on the action,
I’m I making myself clear? Now you can talk.
YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY
And if I won’t cut you in, then what?
THE BOSS
Then I’ll have my two boys, rough you up a bit until you
will.
A fight breakes out between John, Jerri, the Boss and the Two Men, when the dust settles
John, Jerri and the Two Men are dead, the Boss gets away…
INT. JOHN BIGSBY’S HOUSE – AFTERNOON
John Bigsby wake ups in a cold sweat, shaking. He gets up out of bed, and prepares himself
a hot cup of tea, sits at the kitchen table.
There is a knock at the door, John answers it, standing in the door is Jerri Nelson, same
age as John, gazing into each others eyes.
JOHN BIGSBY
Have we met?
JERRI NELSON
It seems that way, my name is Jerri, Jerri Nelson, I live
two houses down.
JOHN BIGSBY
Would you like to share a hot cup of tea with me, just brewed?
JERRI NELSON
I would love to.
JOHN BIGSBY
Then do come in.
They smile at one another, she enters John’s house and he closes the door, they begin chating
is heard as everything fades to black…
THE END
FADE OUT
-
Extreme – Bridesmaid Week 3 Day3
A GROUP OF WOMEN gather at a dress shop to pick out a dress
for the Bridesmaid of a wedding, most of them ate together
at the local restaurant. They all begin suffering from mild
food poisoning, one by one they start throwing up, passing
gas, diarrhea, stomach discomfort, just feeling sick.
Everything builds until the Woman who tries on the bridesmaid
dress, runs out into the street and goes to the
bathroom in the middle of the street. The dress, hides what
she is doing, she waves the traffic to go around her. What
makes the scene great is how eash Character use a different
method to display the same discomfort. By the way, that
beautiful dress is totalled out.
What I learned:
A writer can use different methods for each character to
carry a situation from normal to greater and greater extremes.
The Pitch:
A GROUP OF TEENAGERS, RON, MARTHA, and PETER join JACK
at a small used car dealer to help him purchase his first car.
TITLE: “The Impeccable Salesman”
GENRE: Comedy
FADE IN:
EXT. USED CAR DEALER IN TOWN – AFTERNOON
A bright sunny day in town, a hot rod pulls up and parks at
a used car dealer, four teenagers jump out and begain wondering
the lot kicking tires.
The salesman, MR. NORTON greets them.
MR. NORTON
Wecome, how can I help you? Who’s the buyer?
JACK
I am, it’s my first care.
MARTHA
And the rest of us are here to help.
After looking around the lot, they land on a 1957 Chevy, and the
negotiating begins.
MR. NORTON
A good choice, one of General Motors best
seller, very sporty, extremely popular,
and hard to find, very hard to find.
Jack walks around the car studying the body.
JACK
It could use a paint job.
MR. NORTON
Don’t worry about it!
Martha, pops the hood to check the engine.
MARTHA
I see minor blow by on the engine, and
valve cover leaks.
MR. NORTON
Don’t worry about it!
Peter looks over the interior, radio, lights, etc.
PETER
Interior is not to bad, the upholsterey needs
minor care, the electricals all work.
MR. NORTON
Don’t worry about it!
Ron checks the tires, brakes, for rust, and leaks.
RON
Needs tires, the brakes job is not far
off, not much rust, needs shocks.
MR. NORTON
Don’t worry about it!
JACK
So far, I’ve heard a whole lot of “Dont worry
about its” How much do you want for this
57 Chevy?
Mr. Norton hands Jack the Keys.
MR. NORTON
Let’s take a test drive.
They all pile into the 57 Chevy for a test drive and when they return
Jack is happy with the car.
Jack
Lets talk price, If the price is within my
budget, I’ll buy the car.
MR. NORTON
Lets get out of this heat, follow me to my office,
please.
INT. OFFICE OF USED CAR DEALER – AFTERNOON
The buyers gather in Mr. Norton’s office and take a seat.
Mr. Norton starts out with another sales pitch.
MR. NORTON
Be advised, there are very few 57 Chevys in
as good a shape as the one you are buying.
Mr. Norton writes the asking price on paper, they all look at it.
MARTHA
That’s a start, but there’s room to go lower.
Jack takes the pen and writes a lower offer.
Mr. Norton writes another price on paper.
MR. NORTON
And I’ll throw in a twelve month warrantee
on the powertrain, or this price as is. It’s
a good deal either way.
Jack writes a slightly lower price on paper.
JACK
This is my final offer, I know you half to
make a profit, and Its a fair offer.
PETER
The offer is slightly above bluebook, it’s
more than a fair price.
Mr. Norton reaches out his hand to shake Jack’s hand.
MR. NORTON
We have a deal, the car is yours.
The scene ends smiles and a hand shake with all the buyers.
THE END
FADE OUT
-
Week 3 Day 1: Suspense – Jaws
The momment the close up shot of the Great White Shark is
seen scouting the ocean depths, the suspense chills our souls.
The suspense builds when TWO CHILDREN are killed the TOWNS PEOPLE,
are forced to close the beach during peak season. The suspense builds
when a desperate GROUP sets out to hunt the shark down endangering
their lives even further. The suspense builds greater when the Brody,
the Quinn, and Specialist Hooper go out to hunt the shark and become
hunted themselves. The even greater suspense builds when the shark crashes
their boat, eats the Quinn, Specialist Hooper to avoid being eaten
hides at the ocean floor. (SUSPENSE-YOU ARE MY PRISONER!).The most
suspenseful scene in the movie is, when the Brody on a sinking boat,
with his last shot at canister in the shark’s mouth, bulls eye.
The shark explodes, slowly sinks to the bottom of the ocean, the Brody and
Specialist Hooper using a canister swim to shore. This was suspense that sent
chills down your spine throughout the entire movie, and the conflict between
the shark the hunters was fantastic. The Photography was excellent, the
Directer captured the essence of the story in every shot.
What I learned:
Wow, suspense in the write hands can glue you to the seat of the theatre,
making you prisoner to what’s on screen, and you’ll love every minute
of it.
THE PITCH: A great white shark turns beach resort into a buffet.
TITLE: “JAWS”
GENRE: Thriller
FADE IN:
EXT. BEACH RESORT – DAY
The GREAT WHITE SHARK, kills TWO CHILDREN at the beach of this Resort
Town as TOWNS PEOPLE scream watching the bloody mess from the beach.
SHERIFF BRODY
Every out of the water!
PERENTS gather their CHILDREN and run to safety, SHERIFF BRODY watches in horror.
INT. TOWN HALL – AFTERNOON
The Town’s People hold a meeting, where they are informed that the beach is
closed until the shark is killed.
TOWN LEADER
You all know, this is our busiest time
of the year, and our livelihood depends
on it.
The whole gathing begin shouting, standing.
THE GATHERING
We will capture and kill the beast!
The Gathing busrt out of the town hall, rush to the beach and climb
into boats in search, to kill the Great White Shark.
EXT. BEACH – DAY
Shiriff Brody tries to talk the gathing out of going out into the
ocean, but they won’t listen.
SPECIALIST HOOPER joins Sheriff Brody and introduces himself.
SPECIALIST HOOPER
Sheriff Brody, I’m Specialist Hooper
the shark specialist you sent for.
Those people are going to get hurt,
they have no idea what they are dealing
with.
SHERIFF BRODY
It’s hard to reason with an angree mob.
EXT. THE PIER – DAY
The Mob has returned with a large white shark and they are all celebrating,
as they begin to hang up the shark for pictures. The shark was playing possum
and begins snapping at the men, taking one man’s leg off.
The rest of the men dive off the pier into the water.
The shark continues to jump around snapping at anyone close enough to bite.
A man runs onto the pier with a big stick, and starts beating the shark on
the head, the shark bites the stick, he runs off.
The shark fall back into the water, the men climb out of the water, the shark
swims back out to sea.
INT. TOWN HALL – AFTERNOON
Another Town Meeting, only this time the Member’s aren’t so gung ho, they sit
silently.
QUINN, a local fisherman makes a horrible sound by scratching the chalkbord which
annoys everybody in the room.
QUINN
I’ll catch this great white shark, with a
minimal crew.
The entire room stairs at him in silence, Sheriff Brody hires him.
EXT. OUT ON THE OPEN SEA ON QUINN’S BOAT – DAY
The crew of Quinn, Sheriff Body, Specialist Hooper, on Quinn’s boat in the open sea
prepare to battle the shark when, interruped as the Great White Shark reveals himself
by crusing past the boat, just beneath the ocean, music DUNT TA!, DUNT TA!, DUNT TA!
Quinn prepares the harpoon, Sheriff Brody, Specialist Hooper jump into action driving
the boat, connecting the canister that should make the shark surface.
Everything is read when the shark makes the second pass, Quinn shoots the harpoon, a
direct hit, the shark circles causing the boat to spin in a circle, almost capsizing,
then, breaks free and heads out to sea as the crew watches.
SHERIFF BODY
We’re gonna need a bigger boat.
THE FINALLY:
EXT. OPEN SEA QUINN’S BOAT – MORNING
The Great White Shark charges the boat, takes a big bite out of it, Quinn tries to
fight the Shark off and gets eaten, the boat begins to quickly sink.
Specialist Hooper swims to the bottom of the ocean and hides in the vegetation.
Sheriff Brody is left alone on the sinking boat, the shark tries to eat him, but
he manages to place an oxygen tank in his mouth at the last minute.
The shark swims out to sea again to make a last charge, Sheriff Brody barely hanging
on grabs a rifle as the boat continues to sink.
The Great White Shark makes one last charge at Sheriff Brody with oxygen tank stuck
in it mouth.
Sheriff Brody takes aim, fires several shots at the tank, missing.
Right before the shark reaches him, he fires a direct hit, the shark explodes and
sinks to the bottom of the ocean.
Specialist Hooper surfaces and joins Sheriff Brody, they greet and use one of the
canister to swim back to shore…
THE END
FADE OUT
-
Week 2 Day 5: Protag/Antag Relationship Scene – The Dark Knight
The scene contains intense conflict, an attempt to extract information,
about several victums and at the same time Joker tries to show Batman
that they aren’t that different, we are both freaks. And no matter how
much violence Batman inflicts, Joker still has the upper hand and he
knows it, that puts him in command in the relationship. The character
of Joker is displayed, he has a spirit that seems tobe unbreakable
regardless of how painful. The writer did alot of planning during his
decision making to make the scene work as well as it does.
What I learned:
When planning a scene of this type there are many decisions that have
tobe carefully thought out, both Protag and Antag, must have something
in common to make a relationship, and if it’s abnormal even better.
THE PITCH:
The PROTAGS and ANTAGS, Two common ANDROIDS TRIBES locked in battle for
scarce necessities that ensure there survival, prosperity, and future.
TITLE: “THE ANDROIDS”
GENRE: Science Fiction
FAD IN:
EXT. A DARK AND COLD JUNGLE – NIGHT
A Yellow Moon brings subdued light to the cold jungle, with very little growth
or vegetation, and several fox holes scattered about some with nonfunctional
androids in them lie in the sand.
In the distance there is a battle taking place, bombs, lazer fire, and
the illumination of flames glow in the night sky.
Fierce fighting is being waged as the Protags and the Antags battle for minerals
and metals needed to replenish their ranks and supplies at an abandoned old mine.
EXT. ANTAG ANDROID SIDE – NIGHT
Android TECHS make repaires to wounded Antags and they put back into battle,
but models severely damaged are scraped for recycle.
The Antags, fearlessly rush into the mine retriving metals, minerals, oil and make
their way back over and over.
EXT. PROTAG ANDROID SIDE – NIGHT
Android TECH are also making repairs to the wounded Protags, then putting them back
in the fight. They also rush the mine retriving supplies.
INT. THE MINE – NIGHT
Hand to hand fighting breakes out between the Protags and the Antags in mine
mommentarily, then their primary mission overcomes them. They stop fighting,
grab up all the supplies they can and run out of the mine.
The fighting and gathering supplies goes on throughout the night…
EXT. THE MINE – DAY
The mine front abandoned, as if last night’s fighting never happened at all,
no damaged Androids on either side, the Protags, the Antags gone.
Time passes along with many updates and the Antags and Protages evolve realizing
they have many things in common, communication begins between them, deplomacy is born.
Time passes now the Antags and the Protags are becomming Industrialist, building
cumunities, places of higher learning, and they are beginning to dream, yes machines
capable of dreaming.
Time passes and the Protags and the Antags continue to update…
THE END
FADE OUT
-
Week 2 Day 4: Character Reveal – SPIDERMAN
What Makes The Scene Great?
Young PETER PARKER is bitten by a rare spider, suddenly finds himself with
special spider like powers, it all starts when he saves the GIRL of his
dreams from a nasty fall. Peter spins web which catches a plate of food
and lands on the back of a BULLY, which ends in a fight in the hallway.
ALL STUDENTS watch in surprise as Peter display more special powers, as he
side step punches, then punches Bully across the floor. Both scenses are
great, they demand that he take action, as well as being creative, lots of
subtext very good action sequences.
THE PITCH: Young JERRY STRANG while at the zoo, teases a Monkey with a banana,
angering it until he bites his finger, strange things begin to happen.
TITLE: “MONKEY BEHAVIOR”
GENRE: COMEDY
FADE IN:
EXT. LOCAL ZOO – AFTERNOON
JERRY STRANG stands outside a Monkey Cage teasing a LARGE MONKEY with a banana,
finally he gets a bite on his finger, he jumps around in pain, and the Big
Monkey starts laughing while he eats the banana.
Jerry Strang and the Big Monkey part ways giving each other the middle finger…
INT. THE STRANG HOUSE – NIGHT
Jerry lies in bed having a very unrestful sleep, he’s dreaming, a night mare…
DISSOLVE:
He’s a big monkey desperately swinging and leaping from tree branch to tree
branch being chased by a hungry LEOPARD thats getting closer with every branch.
The Leopard makes a desperate leap and almost captures Jerry, but a last minute
move allows him to escape as he falls in the water below…
CUT TO – A super imposed view of the Monkey at the zoo laughing at him out loud!
Jerry wakes up in a cold sweat and in shock.
JERRY STRANG
What’s happening to me?
Jerry jumps out of bed and runs to the nearest mirror to see if is face is still
there, then he gets dressed…
EXT. A BUSY STREET NEAR A PARK – AFTERNOON
Jerry walks along the street near a park where there are DOG WALKERS, one of the
dogs smells him and starts barking at him, several of the other dogs catch his
sent, suddenley they all start chaseing him down the street barking, he ducks into
a building.
JERRY STRANG
What the heck, what’s going on?
CUT TO – A super imposed view of the Monkey at the zoo laughing at him out loud!
The dogs finally leave the building and Jerry Head for his job.
INT. BOB’S MECHANICS SHOP – AFTERNOON
Jerry enters the machanics shop where he works and is greeted by his BOSS ARNOLD.
BOSS ARNOLD
You’re five minutes late, what’s your excuse?
JERRY STRANG
Oh, I had to help an old Lady accross the street.
Boss Arnold just looks at Jerry and doesn’t say anything.
BOSS ARNOLD
OK, there’s a car on the rack that needs an oil
change, take care of it.
Jerry goes to the car and begins the oil change.
LUNCH TIME:
Jerry sits in a comfortable spot near the engine lift eating his lunch, he dozes
off and sometime in his sleep he has a position change.
Boss Arnold walks up from his office to find Jerry hanging upside down
from the motor hoist, he stands there stairing.
BOSS ARNOLD
Jerry!
Jerry falls to the floor and wakes up and gets to his feet.
JERRY STRANG
Sorry Boss, I dozed off for a bit.
BOSS ARNOLD
Things are a little slow today, take the rest
of the day off, come back in the morning, and
take care of that bump on your head.
JERRY STRANG
Sure thing Boss.
Boss Arnold watches Jerry closely as he heads out of the shop.
INT. THE STRANG HOUSE – EVENING
Jerry sits in his room thinking about his condition.
JERRY STRANG
The dreams, the dog chase, what happened at
work, it’s all connected to the monkey at the
zoo, it has tobe.
EXT. LOCAL ZOO – AFTERNOON
Jerry approaches the Monkey with a platter of fruits, presents it to the
Monkey. And after helping himself to the fruit he shakes hands with Jerry,
they are now friends and his powers, gone…
END
FADE OUT
-
Week 2 Day 3 Character Subtext #1 – Get Out
What I learned:
Creating Subtext with the right planning is fun.
What makes the scene great is that all the players know that Chris is a
victum except him.
THE PITCH: The uninvited guest at the Golf Course.
TITLE: “LITTLE STINKER”
GENRE: Comedy
FADE IN:
EXT. LOCAL GOLF COURSE – MORNING
Located in the rough of the golf course is the star a young skunk gathering food
and suddenly a golf ball falls near him.
Out of no where appears DEOGOL SMITH a golfer having a bad day, the Little Skunk
takes cover. Deogol Smith suffering from hayfever, wips his nose with a
handkerchief, takes is club and perpares to strike the golf ball out of the
rough.
Deogol Smith swings and hits the golf ball out of the rough, it frightens the
Little Skunk and he sprays the back of the golfer as he leaves the rough.
Deogol Smith has no idea that he has been sprayed by the Little Skunk and smells
nothing because of his hayfever, rejoins the other GROUP OF GOLFERS.
The The OBSERVERS standing behind the roped off area notices his smell and step
away, some are even pinching their nose to avoid the smell.
The COMPETITORS in the game have now distanced themselves from Deogol Smith and
are now pinching their noses.
As the game proceeeds the Players one by one are dropping out of the game, and
Spectator are dissapearing as well.
Deogol Smith as he prepars to tee off, looks arround, notices that he’s almost
alone on the golf course.
There is only one Man left standing near Deogol, waiting to tee off after him
and he’s pinching his nose, he gestures, “You Stink” while pointing at Deogol…
THE END
FADE OUT
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Week 2 Day 2: Characterization Scene-WHEN HARRY MET SALLY
What I Learned:
Nora Ephrom is a Master of Dialogue, and thats what I learn most, she used
dialogue to expose each Character on the sureface and below the sureface
(subtext) beautifly. She made a difficult task look easy. I must also
mention that Rob Reiner brought everthing together with his excellent
Directing.
When Harry met Sally
It’s a crafty dialogue driven story which delves deeply into Harry’s and
Sally’s thoughts, lives, the way they think and behave. From the moment
they drive from Chicago to New York they discover they have something in
common and their on and off relationship begins, mostly conversation at first.
They both experience failed mairages, failed relationships, loneliness,
and before you know it their on again. The conversations in the restaurant
when Sally demonstrates that some women fake an orgasm is a turning point,
they begin to realize their fondness for one another is growing. I like
the contrast used with the OLDER COUPLES sharing how they met and all the
happy years the’ve spent together, very creative.
THE MAKINGS OF A LONG HAPPY LIFE TOGETHER:
LOVE – An intense feeling of deep affection.
UNDERSTANDING – The ability to understand something, comprehension.
HARDWORK – Tending to work with energy, commitment, and deligence.
THE PITCH:
ROBERTO GIORGIO an industrialist, and TOM WALLAS a struggling writer compete
for the affections of lovely LOUISE IRVETTE a Model & Fashion Designer.
Will money and arrogance or prose and understanding win her heart.
TITLE: “AN UNDERSTANDING HEART”
GENRE: ROMANCE
FADE IN:
EXT. LOUIS’S FASHION STUDIO – NOON
ROBERTO GIORGIO and LOUISE IRVETTE stand facing each other as he hands her
the keys attached to a rose of:
CLOSE ON – A 2023 BMW M3
TOM WALLIS, appears at the door of Fashion Studio ease dropping on the conversation.
ROBERTO GIORGIO
My last gift of expensive jewelry had no affect on you.
Shall we go to lunch in your new BMW to mark our sixth
month relationship?
LOUISE IRVETTE
Roberto, yes we have shared several dinners together,
and they were pleasent, but lets not rush things. It’s
sweet of you but I can’t except this gift.
ROBERTO GIORGIO
Louise, I’m fond of you, and anything that would bring
us closer I’m willing to do.
LOUISE IRVETTE
Roberto, you’re a professional and so am I, time
constraints are a problem. Besides, a relationship
wouldn’t be good right now. I’m having a Fashion
this fall, and I’m busy designing an all new line
up of fall ware. I hope you understand?
ROBERTO GIORGIO
Well, don’t expect me to give up on our relationship,
because I won’t. I’ll keep trying, regardless of what
it takes, money, jewels, cars, etc.
Roberto gets into the BMW and drives away.
Louise joins Tom and enters her Fashion Studio.
INT. LOUISE FASHION STUDIO – NOON
TOM WILLIS
I could’nt help hearing you conversation with Roberto,
such arrogance, he thinks he can buy anything including
love, what a blind fool. I have the Copy for the Fall
Fashion Show, take a look and see if there are any
changes you like me to make.
Louise and Tom go to her office and go over the Copy he has written…
LATER THAT EVENING
INT. LOUISE FASHION STUDIO
Louise and Tom are leaving the Studio for the day.
TOM WILLIS
How about us heading over to the bar for a couple
of drinks to unwind?
LOUISE IRVETTE
Not tonight I have an impotant engagement.
TOM WILLIS
I hope it’s not with that arrogant industrialist!
LOUISE IRVETTE
No, It’s something personal I have to take care of,
we have a busy day lined up for tomarrow, better
rest up. I’ll see you then, good evening.
Louise walks to her car hops in and drives away, Tom does the same.
EXT. PRIVATE HOSPITAL – EVENING
Louise drives into Hospital parking lot, parks and enters the Hospital.
INT. PRIVATE HOSPITAL – EVENING
Louise stops at the Nurse’s Station.
HEAD NURSE
Good evening Ms. Irvette, your Daughter is feeling
much better this evening, we’ve moved her to a
happier setting we hope you approve.
The HEAD NURSE escorts Louise to her duaghter’s room.
INT. LOUISE DUAGHTER’S ROOM – EVENING
Louise and the Nurse enter the room and JENNY sit up in her bead brushing the hair
of her doll, she has burns on her face, chest and arms.
JENNY
Mommy! Mommy!
Louis rushes to Jenny and takes her into her arms.
LOUISE IRVETTE
I’m so glad to see you, I miss you so much.
The Nurse leaves the room.
LOUISE IRVETTE
As soon as you are well enough, we’ll be together,
I’ll take you to Disney World, and we’ll have lots
of fun. Would you like that?
JENNY
Yes Momma,
Louis kisses Jenny on the cheek…
EXT. HIGH CLASS SKY SCRAPPING HOTEL – EVENING
The Hotel glitters in the dust light as it reaches for the sky.
INT. HIGH CLASS SKY SCRAPPING HOTEL – EVENING
Plush Decor surrounds a FULL HOUSE OF GUEST awaiting the Fashion show, solft music
is being played by a BAND OF FIVE MUSICIANS, they conversate as they enjoy
horderves and drinks of their choice.
There’s a drum roll as Louise makes here way center platform dresses to kill in
one of her latest designs, she address the Guests.
LOUISE IRVETTE
Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to draw your
attention to our Fall Line up. And I hope you
enjoy the show.
The music starts and the modeling begins, the LADIES make their way to the platform
high stepping, prancing, showing off their wares. The Guests applaud after each
design as they make their way on and off the platform.
BACK STAGE:
Louise and Tom watch the show from backstage.
TOM WILLIS
Louise, I’m so proud of you, Your designs are
magnificent, can I hug you?
LOUISE IRVETTE
It was your copy that helped to make everything
happen.
Louise and Tom embrace, Tom almost kisses Louise, they gaze into each others eyes.
After the show many of the designs are ordered, one of Louise’s most successful
presentations.
INT. NIGHT SPOT FOR DINNING & DRINKS – NIGHT
After dinner Louise and Tom sit close together at the dinner table gazing deeply
into each others eyes over drinks.
TOM WILLIS
Louis, you have the most beautiful smile, I’ve
been hiding somthing from you. I want you know
that I fell for you the momment we first met.
I’ve never met anyone like you, when I’m
around you my life feels complete.
LOUISE IRVETTE
Those are the most beautiful words that have ever
been said to me. I have always felt a closeness to
you, but I didn’t know if you felt the same. Its
conforting to know how you feel about me.
Louise and Tom kiss and they leave the restaurant cuddled.
EXT. TOM WILLIS HOUSE – NIGHT
Still cuddled Louise and Tom enter Tom’s house and close the door, the interior lights
go on momments later the lights go off…
THE END
FADE OUT
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Week 2 Day 1: Character Intros That Sell Actors – Lost Intro of Jack
Flight 815 has crashed and it’s complete chaos on the beach, people
injured, some dead, twisted wreakage, burning and smoking parts
of the plane, crying, screaming. JACK awakes from where he landed
and runs to the cries that are most pominent. He immediately takes
charge applying medical treatment, moving people out of harms
way, providing supervision to those able to help out. Jack has minor
injuries himself, but is only concern is the safety and well being of
the other PASSENGERS. This PREGNANT YOUNG WOMAN gets his
special attention and her and a HELPER is saved from a part of the
wing of the plane almost crashed down on them.
What I learned:
By Jack putting everyone before himself, made him stand out above
everyone else, he didn’t waste anytime taking charge, helping others,
supervising those who were in near shock to help out. Jack’s unique
action, interesting dialogue, facing challenge helped save lives. Why
would’nt a star wan’t to play a role that makes he or she a hero.
THE PITCH:
Code name “Green Lucies” a Military Intelligence Recon Unit, the Army’s
best kept secrete a covert mission.
TITLE: “THE GREEN LUCIES”
GENRE: WAR
FADE IN:
EXT. C-141 MILITARY JET FLYING STELTH – NIGHT
The C-141 flies low enough to hide from enemy detection as it nears it’s
destination.
INT. C-141 MILITARY JET – NIGHT
The Green Lucies, on board the C-141,camouflaged in material that cloaks
them from enemy detection, Top secrete firepower, parashutes ready for
green light, under the Command of COLONEL AUDREY.
The C-141 takes on some small enemy fire from GROUND FORCES.
The C-141 slows for drop, the door opens, the light turn green.
THE FLIGHT MAN
Go! Go! Go!
The Green Lucies parachute into the night, one by one, the C-141 increases,
speed, altitude and heads back to home base.
EXT. FOREIGN JUNGLE – NIGHT
After landing, burying their parachutes, the Green Lucies, become involved in
a fire fight with ENEMY FORCES that watched them land. SCOUTS from a nearby
Garrison, after a short battle, the Green Lucies kill them all. The Green Lucies
only form of comunication is by sign language, part of the training, when you
eliminate speach the other senses (hearing,taste,touch,sight,smell)sharpen with
less effort.
Green Lucies make their way threw the jungle headed to Garrison, killing,
PERIMETER GUARDS along the way.
EXT. GARRISON A SMALL TOWN – NIGHT
The Garrison is a town occupied by a small BATTALION OF ENEMY TROOPS.
The green Lucies have intell that The TOWNS PEOPLE are being held captive,
CHIDREN used as slaves, WOMEN used for sex, and the MEN are held in a
make shift prison and every night one of the towns people are killed for sport.
The Green Lucies watch hidden in the bush, cloaked and undetected.
Colonel Audrey uses sign language orders and they begin their assault.
Two of the Lucies create a diversion by setting off several claymores mines that
start a big fire, of which enemy troops rush to contain.
Three Lucies, invade the quarters where the Women are held, killing the GUARDS,
freeing the Women and arming them, they begin killing off ENEMY SOLDIERS.
Four Lucies attack and kill the Enemy Soldiers holding the Children, then lead
them to safty out side of the town.
Colonel Audrey leads the remainder of the Lucies to the make shift prison, battles
it out with the GUARDS, killing them, free the Men, arming them, by now
the Enemy Soldiers are taking heavy casualties, they begin to retreat out of
town. The towns people begin cheering and thanking them, they don’t reveal
who they are, only that they are AMERICANS.
Just as quickly as the arrived the Green Lucies bade farewell to the Towns People
and head for their extraction point, located somewhere in the jungle…
In time of crisis Americans aways their to lend a helping hand. THE END.
FADE OUT
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Week 1 Day 5: Resolution Scene 1
SE7EN
A SERIAL KILLER known as JOHN DOE who’s talents and intellect is beyound anything
Law Enforcement has ever encountered. His victims are horribly murdered based on
the seven deadly sins, with each murder John leads Det. Somerset and Det. Mills
deeper into his plan. In the final scene John Kills Det. Mill’s wife by beheading her
puting her head in a box, then taunting him, telling him she was pregnant. Everything
goes the way John plans including his death when Det. Wills empties a magazine of
bullits on him.
What I learned:
You have to really do a lot of reasearch to create a SERIAL KILLER as dynamic as
JOHN DOE, to enable him to win in the end as he did. The dialogue, very direct,
served in a vicious way, meant to inflict pain with every spoken word, with
religious meaning. John Doe sent a message with every victum he killed.
The seven deadly sins and their counter parts:
To overcome GLUTTONY – You must practice TEMPERANCE.
For GREED – You must practice CHARITY.
For SLOTH – You must be DILIGENT.
For LUST – You must practice CHASTITY.
For PRIDE – You must show HUMILITY.
For RATHE – You must have PATIENTS.
For ENVY – You must have GRATITUDE for what you have.
THE PITCH:
One man attempt to set the world to rights.
THE TITLE: “THE MESSENGER”
GENRE: MYSTERY
FADE IN:
With every murder John Doe commets there is a concelled clue left for Det. Mills
and Det. Somerset.
John Doe’s first victum is a BIG FAT MAN at the dinner table eating himself to death,
gluttony the lesson here is temperance.
John Doe kills a GREEDY LAWYER in his office on a stack of books, greed, the lesson
here is charity.
John Doe kills a DRUG DEALER, he torchers the man for over a year’s time killing
him slowly, sloth the leson here is diligence.
John Doe kills THE LADY OF LUST, lust, the lesson chastity.
John Doe kills THE MODEL, pride, the lesson humility.
There are TWO OTHER MURDERS which I won’t cover.
Finally he kills Det. WILLS”S WIFE, because he envyed him, he beheaded her
and put her head in a box and said hurtful things to him, his wife was pregnant,
etc.
EXT. A FIELD OF DRY GRASS – AFTERNOON
Det. Somerset opens the box and see’s Det. Wills’s Wife’s bloody head he gasps,
then runs back to stop Det. Wills who’s holding John Doe at gun point.
DET. SOMERSET
Wills if you kill him, he wins, you loose!
Det. Somerset grabs Det. Will and his gun falls near John Doe, he grabs the gun
and put the barrel in his mouth and pulls the trigger and blows his brains out…
THE END
FADE OUT
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Huey Williams.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by
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Week 1 Day 4: 3rd Act Climax
Insights, what makes scene great:
The writer’s did a good job crafting each CHARACTER, which fit perfectly
into the story.
WADE(Russell Crow) has an exceptional gift reading people, which enables
him to antisapating their next move. And his CREW very violent, obedient
and would follow him to hell if necessary.
DAN EVANS(Christan Bale) a war vet that lost one of his legs, low
self-es-teem, needed money, to keep the rail road from taking his land.
For two hundred dollars, Dan agrees to be a part of a POSSE to deliver
Wade on the 3:10 to Yuma for hanging.
WILLIAM EVANS(Logan Lenman) Dan’s Son is at the age when he thinks he
knows better than his Father, questions his leadership on some matters.
He disobeys his Father and follows the Posse to Yuma.
After a long Act 2, filled with challenges of which they over come, Wade and
Dan converse about each other’s past, they bond, Wade admires Dan, his
beautiful Wife and Sons. Wade understands why Dan joined the Posse it was
to prove himself, to show his Sons that he’s not a failure.
The 3rd Act Climax the scene at the train station where Wade’s Crew shoots
Dan several times, and free Wade. Wade feals sympathy for Dan and kills
his entire Crew, after a stand off with William he jumps on the train,
hands jailers his weapons, call his horse as the train pulls away. Wade
has excaped Yuma Prison many times and one more excape will be an
adventure.
What I Learned was sometimes to show a small amount of humility in the
antagonist creates a more engaging story.
PITCH:
SAMI D. one of the fastest guns in the west, a decorated Military Vet. turned
Bounty Hunter, robbed of his horse silver and bounty, seeks revenge.
TITLE: “SILVER”
GENRE: WESTERN
FADE IN:
EXT. SOUTH WEST TOWN – DAY
The scene opens in a chase that starts in a small town, the Bounty makes
a run for it.
Sami D is in hot pursuit of his Bounty JOHN LOGAN wanted for robbery and murder.
Logan shoots at Sami D but can’t get a clear shot, he high tails it into a mountain
area, hops off his horse and start shooting, Sami D hops off his horse takes cover
then returns fire.
SAMI D
Logan, there’s only two ways for this to end.
I take you in alive or dead, the choice is yours.
JOHN LOGAN
Come and get me Bounty Hunter!
The Men exchange gun fire, Sami D climbs his way in the rocks, gets behind Logan
jumps him, they fight in the dirt. Sami D knocks Logan out, cuffs him puts him on
his horse and they begin their journey to Yuma.
Both Men are parched by the hot miday sun beams down on them as they make
their way accross the prairie.
EXT. CAMPSIGHT ON THE PRAIRIE – NIGHT
Sami D and Logan sit together at the campfire sharing beans, jerky, a biscuit, before
beding down for the night.
JOHN LOGAN
How much are you get’en paid for this, I’ll double
it. When the word gets out, my BOYS will come
for me. We’ll never make it to Yuma.
Sami D says nothing, he’s heard that before, he ties Logan to a tree, covers him
with a blanket, puts out the fire, then makes himself comfortable on the ground.
EXT. ON THE PRAIRIE – EVENING
After exhausting hard ride in the burning sun they stop at the second camp sight,
cook, eat and bed down for the night.
Sometime during the night the OTHER TWO MEN in Logans CREW show
up free Logan, Take SILVER Sami D’s horse, his two Ivory handled Colts, his water,
food and any money they can find. All three men burst into laughter.
JOHN LOGAN
I warned you bounty hunter.
CREW MEMBER
Shall I kill him, boss?
JOHN LOGAN
No it’s a hard days ride to the nearest town,
with no water or food in this desert heat.
If that don’t kill him, the indians will.
Logan and his Boys ride off into the darkness laughing until they are out of range.
Sami D begins walking towards the town taking advantage of the coolness of night.
EXT. THE HOT DRY PRAIRIE – MIDDAY
Sami D makes his way across the harsh plains showing signs of dehydration, every step
gets hard to make until he falls to the ground unconseious.
A BAND OF COYOTES aproach him sniffing and checking to see if he’s dead, Sami D.
wakes up and chaces them off and begins walking again.
EXT. PRAIRIE – NIGHT
Sami D can finally see the lights of the town, he stops for a rest, then makes his way
into town…
EXT. TOWN OF YUMA – NIGHT
Sami D spots his horse, goes to him, gives him a big hug and moves him to a hidden
place, then heads to the Sheriffs Office.
INT. YUMA SHERIFFS OFFICE – NIGHT
Sami D enters the SHERIFFS JOHNSON’S office.
SHERIFF JOHNSON
Sami D, it’s been a long time, what brings you to
Yuma?
SAMI D
I’ll tell you about it in the morning, right now I need
to borrow a set of irons. And direct me to the hotel.
SHERIFF JOHNSON
The hotel is up the street on the left you can’t miss it.
Sheriff Johnson tosses Sami D a set of colts in a holster and he’s on his way.
Sami D goes to the hotel gets a room, takes a hot bath a meal and goes to bed.
EXT. THE MAIN ROAD NEAR TRAIN STATION YUMA – MORNING
The Logan Gang has been informed that Sami D awaits them in the street. They
exit the saloon and all four men are facing each other in the street.
SAMI D
John Logan, you are under arrest for robbery,
murder, theft and are those my ivory handled
colts your wearing?
JOHN LOGAN
They were yours.
Everything goes silent as the men stair each other down, a small whirl – wind
kick up dust and debris.
A GROUP OF ON LOOKERS watch from the reach of stray bullets.
Finally the moment comes, the Men draw and Sami D shoots the guns out of
all of their hands, arrests them and they all march to the Sheriff”s office.
Sami D collects his bounty, grabs his belonging, several more wanted posters,
hops on Silver and rides out of town…THE END
FADE OUT
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Huey Williams.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by
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Week 1 Day 3: TURNING POINTS
WHAT I LEARNED:
How to use INTRIGUE, SUPENSE, and SURPRISE in ways that entertain
as well as engage. Also, I learned when BRAINSTORMING once SERENDIPITY
happens it pushes you out of the box, CREATIVITY explodes and new IDEAS flow.
THE PITCH: A tale about a private communinity where every year on Holloween day
the children use telepathy by way of suggestion to control and manipulate their
parents into doing what ever they desire.
TITLE: “TRICK OR TREAT”
GENRE: ACTION,HORROR
FADE IN:
INT. JOHNSON HOUSE HOLLOWEEN DAY – DUST
MR. JOHNSON sits in his recliner chair reading the paper.
MR.JOHNSON
Honey, a child was kidnapped two days ago nearby. The
Authorities state, the child was taken while playing in the
yard while is MOM was on the phone. As of now there are
no leads.
MRS. JOHNSON dresses LITTLE EDWARD in his holloween out fit.
MRS.JOHNSON
You look very cute in your Alice in Wonderland
Bunny costume, yes you doo.
Little Edward giggles with a big smile on his face.
EXT. JOHNSON HOUSE – DUST
Mrs. Johnson and Edward get into the car and head for the Holloween Party.
INT. MRS. JOHNSON’S CAR – DUST
Little Edward sits in the back tucked tightly with a seatbelt. During the drive
Edward makes a strange face the grunts.
MRS.JOHNSON
Yes son.
Mrs. Johnson stops at the local Mc Donalds, picks up a happy meal, Edward
request, then they continue to party.
EXT. AN OLD ABANDONED MANSION – DUST
ALL FOUR CHILDREN arrive at the same time, KATHY dressed as a lamb, MARTY
dressed as the joker, WILLIAM dressed as super hero and Edward.
ONE PARENT accompanies each of them into the mansion.
Out of the darkness one univited guest appears, the boy who was kidnapped,
RILEY dressed as the reaper, and the DIRTY OLD homeless MAN who took him.
INT. ABANDONED MANSION – DUST
The lights go on as they entire the dusty old creaky ADAMS FAMILY HOUSE.
THING a hand welcomes them, takes to the study where they are to be seated,
hops back into his box.
The Parents and Homeless Man are, unaware of what’s taking place as if under
hypnosis.
The Ghost of LURCH begines play organ music as they introduces themselves
and take seats at the round table.
SEVERAL GHOSTS fly around overhead.
Riley begins the meeting by apologizing for not being invited.
RILEY
Sorry for barging in like this but I want to get back
with my family and away from being on the street
with this idiot. Each of you have a plan, get it done
and return back here before midnight when trick or
treat ends.
They all leave the Mansion and begin their plan.
SHORT SEQUENCES:
EXT. CITY STREET – NIGHT
Riley takes his kidnapper to every place of business in walking distance, waits
outside, controls him to go in and rob the place making sure he exposes
himself to the security cameras.
The kindapper’s true nature comes out, he roughs up several of the PATRONS.
Then Riley, the kidnapper, and the extorted goods, make their way to the Police
Station.
Riley explains to the Police,
RILEY
I was kidnapped by this man a week a go,
he just robbed several place of buseness.
It’s been a rough week, and I would like to
go home.
The Police verify everything Riley says, then take the kidnapper into custody,
arrange for Riley tobe picked up by is PARENT…
SHORT SEQUENCE:
INT. FATHERS SUV – NIGHT
William gives his Father a mask, super powers, a overwhelming urge to fight crime,
His Father drives a MERCEDES BENZ BRABUS AMG 800 G63 BLACK and GOLD
Package as close to a batmobile as you can get, perfect for the task ahead.
William and his Father head to a part of the city known for drug trafficing,
prostitution, violent crime, muggings,and the homeless.
William’s Father park in a secluded safe spot away from all the action, equips
his Dad with a body cam and monitors everything from the computer in
back of drivers seat.
EXT. DOWNTOWN CITY – NIGHT
William’s Dad exits SUV and immediately intervens a mugging, TWO MEN taking
a WOMEN’S goods, he leaps into action throwing kicks and punches, the men
run away, she thanks him and continues home.
Accross the street at the park a MEN is trying to rape a WOMAN in the darkness,
she is screaming his Dad rushes to the scene, kicks the man to the ground, she
runs off, the man is knocked out on the ground.
INT. BACK SEAT OF THE SUV – NIGHT
William is watching all the action, when a STRANG MAN appears at his window,
he tries to open the door it’s lock, then he pick up a rock, preparing to break
the window.
Out of noware William’s Dad throws a flying side kick that knock the man to the
ground, he hops in the SUV and they speed away. William and his Dad drive
around the city looking for more action before heading back to the Adam’s
Mansion…
SHORT SEQUENCE:
Kathy, dressed in her lamb costume rides shotgun with her MOM in the family
TOYOTA XSE SIENNA minivan. Oh yes, before warned Kathy is one of the
toughest girls in her school.
SEVERAL BOYS have felt her rathe, during two of her confrontations with boys
a lot bigger than her, a TEACHER was a welcome sight to the boys, when he pull
her off of them. And she made sure the whole school was watching as she gave
them a lesson in defense.
INT. TOYOTA XSE SIENNA MINIVAN – NIGHT
Kathy and her Mom pull up and park in an area heavely populated by KIDS going
from house trick or treating.
Kathy spots a GROUP OF OLDER BOYS bullying and taking candy from YOUNGER
KIDS, she and Mom jump out of the van make their way towards the Group.
BOY ONE
Shit, it’s Kathy and her Mom, they look like
they mean business, I’m out of here!
The Group takes off running as fast as they can into the darkness.
Kathy and her Mom Police the area looking for anyone taking advantage
of the CHILDREN. Oh yes, I should have mentioned, Kathy’s Mom, RHONDA a forth
degree black belt Martial Artists, her Father Mike a fifth degree Martial Artists,
they operate a dojo in town…
Little Edward is being walk by his Mother stopping at each house grabing
goodies while she holds his bag of treats and follows along behind. Well it
seems that all little Edward wanted out of the deal was to replenish a sweet tooth,
and maybe stop by Mc Donalds for another happy meal, then crash out on the way
home…
FINAL SEQUENCE:
Now we enter the world of YOUNG MARTY, his special gifts and
a strange personality that makes him Joker extraordinal.
EXT. DOWNTOWN – NIGHT
With midnight slowly approaching Marty and his FATHER in his Rolls-Royce
Dawn by Mansory make their way threw town headed to the outskirts.
INT. ROLLS – ROYCE DAWN BY MANSORY – NIGHT
MARTY
Pull over here Dad, and come with me.
They pull over park, exit car and get into an old ice cream truck. They drive
a short distance in the middle of darkness, stop and sit without making a sound.
The full moon and a small light over the counter of the ice cream truck is the
only light. A strange howl of a injured WOLF is hearded in the distance.
Suddenly the wolf appears flexing his sharp teeth growling, foaming at the mouth,
prepares to jump into the truck, attack Marty and rip deep into his flesh. Through
the power of suggestion Marty enters the animals mind, changing his behavior,
the wolf humbles himself by wagging his tail, then runs back into the wilderness.
Everything becomes silent again…
Different and strange LIFE FORMS are drawn from the darkness, they approach the
ice cream truck, the Joker administers telepathic treats to each of them, and they
return from which they came…
EXT. CITY STREETS – MIDNIGHT
The Joker and his Father in their Rolls-Royce Dawn on the road headed home
under a full moon…
EXT. THE ADAMS FAMILY MANSION – MIDNIGHT
Thing opens the door, places a “NO TRUSTPASSING” sign on the door,
then slams is closed.
Lurch begins playing the Adams Family song on the organ…
An Audience sing along:
There house is a Museum where people come to see um, they really are a screa um,
the Adams Family, Don, Don, Don, Click! Click! And on the last click the screen
goes black…THE END.
FADE OUT
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Do what I do, a lot of Brainstorming, then it’s easy to get started. Write a sample of what you’ve learnd to add to your porfolio.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by Huey Williams.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by
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Week 1 Day 3: Three Turning Points
What I learned:
Ways to use supense, intrigue, surprise to make turing points that push the story foward.
I also learned that when Brainstorming once serendipity happens, new ideas take you out of
the box enhancing creativity.
In the opening scene a BLACK MAN walking in a white suburb is jumped and carted away
in the trunk of a car, a hidden twist later revealed at the welcoming party under hypnosis.
CHRIS and his GIRL FRIEND are a loving couple, on a drive to her PARENTS house, while
in conversation, they hit a DEAR, it scares them, and changes the tone of the story.
In a session with the MOTHER (a Psychologist), she starts by asking Chris personal
questions about childhood, then she hypnotizes him into thinking he’s sinking, he wakes
thinking it was a dream, fear is building in him.
Chris notices strange behavior of the GROUNDS KEEP and the MAID they seem familiar to him.
Then at the welcoming party, all GUEST’S were studying him as if he was next on the menue.
Chris takes a picture of the Black Man, the flash wakes him from hypnosis, he rushes and
grabs Chris warning him to GET OUT!
Later in the house the entire Family reveals themselves, now paranoid,Chris demands to leave, but gets rehypnotized by Mom and is tied to a chair held captive.
The story is simple, there’s supense, intrigue, and surprise in every scene which pushes
the story foward to the very end.
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A murder case ends, and all 12 Jurors convene in jury room to iron out a verdict in the case, but after an eleven guilty to one not guilty vote, creats conflict and anger among them forcing aggressive debate, indicision, very dynamic dialogue that engages the Audience. Whom they are is revealed by their dialogue, also by what they do in their private lives, the Audience is engaged by questions that must be answered by the end of story. It’s a roller coaster ride of emotions with every sequence as opinions change with every conflict. The following is some of the most engaging diaologue in the piece.
FADE IN:
JUDGE’S NARRATION:
The DIFINDENT has been found gilty as charged of first degree murder. It is now your duty as jurors to sit down and try and separate the facts
from the fancy. If there’s a reasonable doubt in your minds as to the guilt of the accused, then you must bring me a verdict of not guilty. One
man is dead, another man’s life is a stake. How ever you decide, your verdict must be unanimous.
INT. JURYROOM – DAY
All TWELVE MEN sit at table facing each other.
FOREMAN
We have a first degree murder charge here and if we vote the accused
guilty, we’ve got to send him to the chair. This has to be twelve or
nothing vote either way, that’s the law.
The Jurors take a vote, all vote guilty except Juror EIGHT who votes not guilty.
The CONFLICT BREAKES OUT IMMEDIATELY!
JUROR SEVEN
Now what? I want to get it out there, I have tickets for tonights game, I can’t be here all night.
Juror seven jump from his seat and starts walking around the rroom.
JUROR THREE
You sat in court with the rest of us, you heard what we did, the kid’s a dangerous
killer. Do you really think he’s innocent?
JUROR EIGHT
I don’t know, let’s talk about it. He’s eighteen years old. This kid’s been kick around
all his life, born in the slums, mother dead since he was nine. Lived a year and a half
in an orphanage while his father did time in prison, his life has been miserable.
JUROR THREE
He stabbed his oun father four inches into his chest, they proved it a dozen
different ways in court. The knife this fine boy admitted buying the night of
killing. Let’s talk about it.
JUROR EIGHT
Let’s talk about it.
Juror eleven stand up from his seat.
JUROR ELEVEN
There is a question I would like to ask? If the boy really had killed his father, why would
he come back home three hours later? Wouldn’t he be afraid of being caught?
JUROR FOUR
The witness she got a good look at the boy in the act of stabbing his father. This is unshakable
testimony.
Holding the knife Juror Three.
JUROR THREE
Well, what do you want? I say he’s guilty. Sure, you can take all the time and hobble around the
room, but you can’t prove it. I’ll bet you five thousand dollars I’d remember the movies I saw. I’m
telling you everything that’s going on in this room right now is twisted. The woman testified in
open court.
Juror Ten get up to hang his coat up on the rack.
JUROR TEN
You’re not gonna tell me that we’re supposed to believe this kid, knowing what he is? he’s a
common ignorant slob. He don’t even speak good English. Listen, I’ve lived among them all my
life, what about the woman across the street? If her testimony don’t prove it, nothing does.
Then Juror Ten sits back in his chair bitching.
JUROR EIGHT
You don’t believe the boy’s story. How come you believe the woman’s, she’s one of them, too,
isn’t she?
Juror Eight calls Juror a sadist to prove a point.
JUROR EIGHT
You’re a sadist.
The othe Jurors stop Juror Three as he tries to attack Juror Eight.
JUROR THREE
I’ll kill him, I kill him!
Juror Eight calmly.
JUROR EIGHT
You don’t mean you’ll kill me, do you?
The FOREMAN brings everything back in order.
THE FOREMAN
Gentlemen, calm down! Let’s everybody take their seats.
I don’t know about you but the following confict has been a preview, it kept me engaged and I’m not going anywhere
until I see what happens at stories end.
FADE OUT:
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This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by Huey Williams. Reason: assignment was unfinished, had problems with login, sorry
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What I learned is how to write Characters without naming or describing them, but instead using unique dialogue, what they due in their private lives and their individualty, it all paints a dramatic picture of them on a written page.
12 Angry Men originally a teleplay written by REGINALD ROSE, broadcasted on CBS in 1954 as part of the Studio One Series, later rewritten for film in 1957, nominated for BEST PICTURE, BEST DIRECTOR, BEST SCREEN PLAY.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by Huey Williams.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by
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What I Learned: The power it adds to a scene when you use important dialogue and action simultaniously, how it moves the story in a big way.
All Characters stand out, perform their task, deliver their lines with information that engage the audience deeper into the story.
The Joker orders them to kill each other after they have performed their jobs, they are unaware that he is part of the crew, he kills the last of them, (the bus driver), then reveals himself to the bank manager before driving away with the money on the bus.
The sequence is very violent, the situation is dire, the conflict with in the crew, the dialogue, set ups, and disregard of human life engages you.
The Joker is the ultimate antagonist he sets the tone that lures us into the story, and he does it in away that’s never been seen before.
The writing for all of the scenes in this movie are extremely great and it would be very hard to duplicate I’m intrigued.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by Huey Williams.
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FAD IN:
EXT. DOWNTOWN – DAY
TWO MEN wearing ski masks parashut to the top of a building, secure their shuts.
ONE of them disables the security system, after he’s done.
His partner kills him, grabes his duffule bag and heads to main floor of bank.
INT. CAR OUTSIDE BANK – DAY
TWO OTHER MEN sit in a car waiting for the rest of the Crew to arrive.
MAN ONE
This GREEKO Mobster, he’s suppose to
the most feared man in the underworld.
MAN TWO
Yes, and no one has ever laid eyes on him,
He’s a ghost, who cares, as long as I get my cut.
EXT. OUTSIDE BANK – DAY
The other car pulls up, TWO MORE OF THE CREW jump out of their car, the men
waiting join them and they rush into the Bank guns out.
INT. BANK – DAY
The Crew catches everybody by surprise, shouting orders, throwing people around,
taking SECURITY out, they beat ONE MAN to put the fear of God in all the OTHER
PATRONS who are now on the floor.
TWO OF THE CREW go straight to the safe, MAN ONE goe’s to work opening it, MAN TWO
watches from behind gun pointed at his back.
MAN OPENING SAFE
Looks like a big payoff, this underworld mobster
Greeko won’t know if we take a cut off the top,
how’s he gunna know.
He opens the safe and they both are stairing at stacks of money in the vault.
MAN TWO
I’ve heard he’s not the type of person you double cross,
he has eyes and ears everywhere.
Man Two shoots safe opener, run into vault and starts loading cash into duffle bags.
After scuffle there’s only two left in the crew, they make their way out of the Bank
carring to large duffle bag of cash, they jump into a mini van and drive away.
INT. MINI VAN – DAY
PASSENGER OF CREW
Pull over somewhere, I’m taking my cut off the top, to
hell with Greeko, he won’t know what’s missing!
The Driver of the Crew pulls a gun, point it at the Passenger, then reveals herself,
a beautiful but deadly Woman.
THE DRIVER
I am Greeko, with a job this big, decided to be a part of it.
Trust is something I don’t believe in. No one double crosses
Greeko!
Greeko shoots him twice, pushes him out on the side of the road and drivers away.
FADE OUT:
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This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by
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Huey J Williams,
I have written 3 scripts, a feature and two short script that are ready to go low budget feature.
I take these classes because I learn something new with each, I’m retired and I love writing it takes me place beyound the everyday bordom in life.
Life has been rich in experiences for me, I have did many things, met people of all dispostions in many industries high and low, attended some very good schools, my creativity is fair, and I’m very good with people.
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Huey j Williams,
“I agree to the terms of this RELEASE FORM
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The writing is amazing, the Actors in thier roles give very important information about the Antangonist in a very creative way while keeping the audience deeply engaged with what they are doing. Although very violent it’s the best scene I have ever seen, and it will be hard to top, but I’ll give it a shot.
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The scene is fast paseded action, intimidating dialoge, violence, betrayal.
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Right off the bat something new to movies,the ROBBERS start killing each other off as instructed by the JOKER who hired them, whom unknown to them is a part of the crew. The Joker then kills last of them the bus driver, and drivers off with all the money, he’s the ultimate protagonest.
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Subject line (Huey J) Specialty – Comedy
I really enjoyed exercise, learned lots about comedy, subtext and dialogue, Mike Myers & Friends excellent work.
My writing specialty will be comedy genre and I have chose to cover Austin Powers “The Spy Who Shagged Me” and second Austin Powers “Goldmember”.
AUSTIN POWERS – THE SPY WHO SHAGGED ME
Genre: Comedy
The movie is an excellent work, true to the genre from start to finish. both Dr. Evil (ANTAGONIST) AND AUSTIN POWERS (HERO) are both on a (MISSION). Dr. Evil world domination, Austin Powers to stop him, Dr. Evil is cloned, Mini Me his partner in crime which (RAISES THE STAKES). The dialogue and visuals are very funny. (PURPOSE) Dr. Evil commions Fat Bastard (VILLIAN) to steal Austin Powers Mojo (RAISES STAKES), Agent Felicity Shagwell joins Austin Powers (LOVE INTEREST & SUPPORT), Dr. Evil places an orbital laser that will destroy Washington DC unless he recieves 100 billion dollars from the President (RAISES THE STAKES). The scenes are creatively funny wih music skits performed by Mini Me and Dr. Evil (PURPOSE) and there is a play on words to discribe Dr. Evil’s space ship. Austin stops Dr. Evil and uses the time machine to go back ten minutes in time to save his love Felicty Shagwell, (HERO) but now there a two Austin Powers so they will half to share Felicity Shagwell (LOVE INTEREST TO SECOND POWER). Dr. Evil, Mini Me, and his bunch get away in that ship the looks like…and again there is a play on words.
END
Subject line: (Huey J) Speciality – COMEDY Part two of Assignment
I really enjoyed exercise, story was xcellent thanks Mike Myers & Friends, subtext, comedy and dialogue were great. As stated earlier my specialty is comedy genre, I well review Mike Myers’s “Goldmember”
AUSTIN POWERS – GOLDMEMBER
Genre: Comedy
The story opens with an exciting and dangerous chase scene, (PURPOSE) Austin Powers parachutes (HERO) into his remote driven sports car while being attacked by a Cobra Helicopter (VILLIAN) with cyclist Dixie (LOVE INTEREST) as he protect from the bullet and rocket fire. Suddenly Austin ejects from the car over the Cobra Helicopter blasting it from the sky (HERO) The hero gets the girl. (CLEVER PURPOSE) POW! It’s only intro to movie.
Dr. Evil and Mini Me are welcomed back by his crew in their new Hollywood location where they are haveing a meeting, number three is introduced, a spy for Austin Powers a mole with a big mole on his face (IRONY AND COMEDY RELIEF) which bothers Dr. Evil and Autin Powers. Dr. Evil’s new plan for world domination is new member, Goldmember (VILLIAN) who has created a tractor beam powerful enough to pull meteors to earth (RAISES STAKES). Suddenly the meeting is interrupted by Austin Powers and Dr. Evil and Mini Me is arrested.
Austin visits Dr. Evil while in prison to request his fathers where abouts, there is a flash back (PURPOSE) to when Austin and Dr. evil were young at the Academy (PURPOSE) Young Austin is awarded International Man Of Mystery, but his Daddy issues caused everybody to laugh at him. (COMIC RELIEF) Back to Austin’s Digs where he sing about his Dad never showing up, Daddy wasn’t there song. Austin Powers is sent back to 1975 by his superiors to find his father, he reconnects with Foxy Cleopatra (LOVE & SUPPORT) finds his father (MENTAL) and is captured by Goldmember (VILLIAN). Goldmember takes Austin’s Dad, jumps into time go to Japan year 2002 (RAISES STAKES) all the scenes are very funny and they just keep geting funnier.(LAYERING) Austin Powers and Foxy arrive in Japan 2002 and have meeting with creators of tractor beam but don’t get anywhere, they track down Fat Bastard. Dr. Evil are in prison planning their excape which involves all the imates, they resit, but Dr. Evil and Mini Me perfom a skit that the shows the inmats that they are from the hood and are not to be taken lightly, (COMICAL ACTION PURPOSE) inmates aggree it’s on. Austin and Foxy get what information they can from Fat Bastard. Dr. Evil, Goldmember, and crew, in their Submarine preparing the tracking device (RAISING THE STAKES) Mini Me has had a change of hear, now a part of Austin’ team. Dr. Evil and Goldmember is demanding the World Organization to pay a zillion dollars or they will melt the north pole flooding the earth. (RAISING THE STAKES) they refuse, the Satilites shaped like Breasts move into possition, play on words again about breasts. Austin Power and FOXY Cleopatra stop Dr. Evil then Dad stops Austin from killing Dr. Evil and lets them know they are brothers (RELIVATION), but Goldmember decides to stick to plan and flood the world but is stoped. (FROM VILLIAN TO ANTAGONIST)
END
Suject line (Huey J) Subtex 2 Plot
The exercise taught me how easy it is to build subtext around a character.
CHARACTER: Steve, an over the road truck driver pick up a new trainee, Joe who is actually on the run from the law for murder.
SCHEME AND INVESTIGATION: Right oof the bat Joe request not to be behind the wheel when driving threw DOT Weight Stations, claim he’s not expirenced enough. They are stopped for a DOT Inspection.
DRAMATIC IRONY: Steve, informs Joe that he will be driving local, handling sensitive items and it may require a bckgroung check, Steve ask Joe has he had any trouble with the law?
LAYERING: During general conversation between the two men, Steve tells Joe about Lize a dispatchers in the office who’s brother was murdered and the have no suspect.
SOMEONE HIDES WHO THE ARE: A news flash comes over the radio with a dicription of the suspect in the murder with a very large reward is mentioned, Joe panics at a fuel stop and vanishes.
THE FISH OUT OF WATER: Joe is caught and thanks to DNA evidence is inprison with some of the most dangerous convicts in the world.
END
Subject line: (Huey J) Subtext One
I learned how subtext can carry a story, make it extreamly engaging and give it hidden details.
PLOT SUBTEX “basic instint”
DETICTIVE’S CURRE AND NICK, INVESTIGATE A MURDER INVOLVING A WEALTHY NOVELIST CATHERINE TRAMELL, both Nick and Curre are in other their heads being munipulated by the cleaver Catherine Tramell and tricked by Beth, Nicks Psycologist and sex partner who is the real murderer, whom at the end is killed by Nick for stabbing Curre.
CHARACTER SUBTEXT “BASIC INSTINT”
Nick and Curre average not so smart Detictines doing their best to solve the murder.
Nick, a recoving alcoholic haunted by accidently killing two Tourist which lead to his wife commiting suicide, his partner Curre doesn’t have much of a life other than his job. Nick while in an off and on sex relationship wit Beth, falls in love with Catherine Tramell.
SCENE SUBTEXT “BASIC INSTINT”
After LT. Nelson and Nick have confrotation earlier in the day, then LT. Nelson is found dead in his car, Nick is accused and goes before Interal Affairs, no alibi for where he was at the time.
Beth interupts the hearings stating that Nick and her were together all night getting him off the hook, knowing she committed the murder.
ACTION SUBTEXT “BASIC INSTINT”
Catherine and Nick together at his place having drinks and conversation.
Nick takes out a block of ice and begins striking it with an ice pick, Catherine takes the ice pick starts stabbing it as if stabbing a victum just to munipulate Nick. She like playing with Nick’s head although she was falling for him.
CHARCTER 2 SUBTEXT “BASIC INSTINT”
Beth the Psychologist played the kind hearted role, a Professional being used by Nick to fulfill his sexual and job related needs, but underneath she was a monster.
Since their collage days Beth had a deep hatred for Catherine she committed the murder to frame her, and she killed Detictive Curre because he getting close to nailing her. Catherine knew what kind of person Beth was and kept it hidden.
DIALOGUE SUBTEXT AND REVEAL “BASIC INSTINT”
A the end when all incriminating evidence is revealed Captain Calcash tell Nick “YOU JUST CAN’T TELL ABOUT PEOPLE CAN YOU, EVEN THE ONES YOU THINK YOU KNOW IN AND OUT!
Captain jabbs Nick in the gut about his reckless love life.
END
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Subject line: (Huey J) Credibility is Going Up!
I have learned, that I have a lot of work ahead of me, a lot of catching up to do, I must improve my writing, promotional skills which means becoming as competitive as possible something I know I can do.
Well, I have taken classes here at ScreenwritingU, attended siminars, and I have an extensive Library books on screenwriting, self taught if you will. But I haven’t attended USC or UCLA in screenwriting schools, although I did study Presentation System and Theatre Management at USC when I was a junior member of SMPTE in the 70’s. Everything I know about screenwriting has been from my books and decifering movies. The plan for increasing creadibility is make sample writings as crisp, engaging as possible, to learn all I can here at ScreenwritingU.
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Subject line: (Huey J) Linkedin Profile is Amazing!
I learn an amazing amount of information from this exercise, I’ve had a linkedin account for more than ten years, rearely us it and I had no Idea there were Producers on the site. I will immediately improve my Linkedin account to promote my screenwriting profession. I will improve my account by focusing it around screenwriting, earning endorsements, building a network of Producers, and other Screenwriters.
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Huey J Williams
I hope to learn more about the craft of writing, build a network with other screenwriters, and to secure a writing position with a Producer.
I have expirence in many industries in cluding Military (7years), delt with people on all levels, disposition, worked and paid for my own education since Elementry School threw Collage (no student loans) A.S. Degree, a fair amount of Imagination, I have always been unusual, life has always been a challenge, but fun. I will bring my script “The Aventures of Bud and Lou” I’m in the third revision. $50 million max budget. And a short “Mr. Bigby” $1 to $5 million budget. Another Idea that I have is a Gran Turismo Movie I’ve been working on for several years now. $50 to $100 million.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by Huey Williams. Reason: assignment was unfinished, had problems with login, sorry
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This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by
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Huey J Williams
“I agree to the terms of this release form
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Huey J Williams, “I agree to the terms of this release form
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I enjoyed reading your outline about Zombies, it had some comedy which made it more
interesting and engageing.
Here’s my outline:Day 16: Time to Exchange Feedback
Subject Line:(Huey J. Williams) Horror Outline Version 2
What I learned on my second rewrite:
The person that did my feedback pointed out some important details
that i overlooked.
My main improvement was to pay attention to details.
I can’t think of anything person could have done better.
Title: “THE THINGAMAJIG”
Logline:
A Group of High School Graduates celebrate, before leaving for college
with a camping trip in the woods, that they will never forget.
Horror Outline Follows:
THE THINGAMAJIG – HORROR SITUATION TRACK
1. EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
NOTE: OPENING SCENE
Horror Situation:
A forest near a lake illuminated by a full moon, the sounds of desperate
HISSING, and INJURED WOLF GROWL, QUICK THUMPING HITTING THE GROUND, slithers
threw the bush in hot pursuit of a EIGHT POINT BUCK.
The Buck SHRIEKS in pain when something in the bushes rips off it’s feet and
begins devouring it, bones CRUNCHING SOUNDS.
CLOSE ON – Just the monster’s mouth chewing is seen, as it takes big bites of
dear meat.
The forest goes silent.
CLOSE ON – SCREECH OWL SHRIEKS, as he watches from a tree.
2. INT. MOTORHOME – NIGHT
A Group of High School Graduates celebrate, before leaving for college
with a camping trip in the woods.
ALDEN drives the motorhome, most expirenced at camping, SHAD his dog liying
at his side CORY rides shotgun, GRAM, ASHLEY, KATE, and ZOEY sit together at
the table in conversation all close friends throughout High School.
All in conversation about the fun they had in High School as they travel.
Zoey says “I remember the great time we had prom night, Gram you were so hansome
in your tuxs and I had on one the most formal gowns I have ever worn”, then she
complains about going on camping trips, she prefers the city life. I’m going to
miss you all while attending University of Southern California while studing
Cinema and writing.
APPREHENSION: Knows very little about camping.
Kate lets her imagination sometimes cause her to fear having new experiences
she believes in monsters and the bogyman, she has entertained the whole group
with her stories the entire trip. Kate says ” We had so much fun in High School,
the beach parties, going to scary movies together, how are we going live being so
far appart I’ll be attending Duke University, Durham, North Carolins, earning
my Nursing Degree”.
Ashley, the mother type, Zoey and Kate look up to her for guidance when things
get out of the ordinary. Ashley says “Well I’ll be attending Yale University,
New Haven, Connecticut, Law School, and I will alway be thinking about all the fun
we’ve had together, Alden, I’ll miss you most, you really know how to show a girl
an exciting time, it has never been a dull moment”.
Gram, says, “I’ll be attending Columbia University, New York City, I will studing
Coaching, first High School, then College, maybe even the Professional Team. I
have the skills from my experience and what I’ve learned being on the Varsity
Team in High School. I’ll really miss you all.
Cory, says, me, “I’ll be attending Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Cambridge
Massachusetts, you have always calling me a Brainiac and since I do have the skills
I’ll fit in well at MIT”. High School was really a lot of fun, especially having you as
friends, and after college I’m sure we’ll reconnect,
Alden, says, “Kate, I’ll miss your vivid imagination. Cory, I miss your enlarged mind,
you brainiac. Gram, I’ll miss youre athleticism, and understanding. Zoey, I’ll miss your
upper class character, and your fashion skills. Ashley, I’ll miss you most, my sweetheart
your intellegent, loveable demeanor, Ashley approaches him and he kisses her on the cheek
I’ll be thinking of you all, while attending University of Pennsylvania, Philadelphia
Pennsylvania, studying Business/Economics, my Dad wants me to take over the Family Sport
Shop”. So, we all have our yellow brick road to follow.
3. EXT./INT. THE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden pulls up and stops at a sign that reads: “Black Forest Keep Out”
APPREHENSION: As to why the warning.
SUSPENSE: Why the keep out order.
They continue to the campsite by the lake.
4. EXT. BLACK FOREST CAMPSITE BY THE LAKE – NIGHT
Under a full moon, Ashley, Alden, pitch their tent, and just
before climb in for no appearent reason shad begins barking, then
joins them in the tent.
APPREHENSION: Ashley and Alden are curious.
Kate and Cory pitch their ten and just before climbing in, Kate lets her
imagination run wild about giant bugs that may climb into their tent.
APPREHENSION: Not to happy about sleeping on the ground.
Zoey and Gram pitch their tent and before climbing in, Gram kids Zoey
by saying,”Their coming to get you Zoey”, which she doesn’t find funny
at all.
APPREHENSION: Zoey doesn’t find it funny.
In the bushes hiding the monster watches, not making a sound.
Gram decides to go for a jog threw the woods, his nightly routine
when at home.
Gram retuns to camp and notices the motorhome is smoking.
The Group jumps into action rush to put out the elctrical fire,then back
into their tents to sleep.
Cory says he’ll take care of the electrical problem in the morning.
5. EXT. BLACK FOREST CAMPSITE LAKESIDE – MORNING
Under a beautiful blue sky and sunshine morning the entire group are busy
cooking, fishing, swimimg, and having a grand old time together, music in
the background.
Alden has just caught serveral good sized catfish and hands them over to
Kate and Ashley who are doing the grilling on the pit.
Cory works on the electrical problem of the motorhome while sneaking bits
of food when Kate and Ashley are not looking.
Zoey and Gram are swiming, playing vollyball in the lake with Shad doing
his best to take the ball away.
Gram, Zoey, Alden, and Cory comment about how the food smells great,
Shad BARKS!
Alden helps Kate and Ashley help finishing the cooking without getting
in the way.
Ashley says, the food will be ready soon and will be served in the
motorhome.
6. INT. MOTORHOME – NOON
Alden, Gram, Cory are seated at the table while Ashley, Zoey, and Kate
prepare their plates, then they sit down with them and Alden says grace,
they begin eating.
After several bits of the food the complement of how good the meal is fills
the air which causes Ashley and Kate to blush with thanks.
After the meal they resume the day with relaxing around the campsite in
conversation while playing cards, just enjoying nature’s beauty.
7. EXT. BLACK FOREST CAMPSITE – NIGHT
A full moon illuminates the landscape, the CRICKET SOUNDS are heard.
Ashley, Alden and Shad are in their tent preparing to sleep.
Kate and Cory are in conversation as they prepare to sleep.
Zoey and Gram are conversing about how wonderful the day was and
the food before they go to sleep.
Suddenly, the CRICKET SOUNDS go silent.
Shad starts to GROWL and BARK!
There is a LOAD HISSIN followed by a SICK WOLF HOWL!
Everybody jumps out of bed.
APPREHENSION: They don’t know whats going on.
FEAR: Of the unknown all Characters.
PANIC: They have no idea what they are dealing with.
MONSTER REVEAL: Not seen yet, but its something strange.
Shad begins BARKING and GROWELING more, then he runs out the tent in hot pursuit
into the woods after something unknown.
Alden grabs his rifle and follows shad into the woods and tries to catch up.
APPREHENSION: Alden feel the unknown.
8. EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden folows a trail of blood to area of the forest where he
finds Shad’s collar and his fur scattered on the ground, he picks
up the collar.
APPREHENSION: Worred about Shad
FEAR: Shad is dead.
LOSS/EMOTIONAL: He won’t see his dog again.
Alden notes something in the bushes watching him, he can’t see what it
is but he knows it’s there, he keeps his gun on the ready.
CREEPY MOMENT: Alden knows something watching him in the bush.
FEAR: The unknown.
EMOTIONAL: About loosing Shad.
UNNERVING: Death could be stairing at him in the bush.
Alden causiously keeps his attention on the thing in the bushes, then
heads back to camp.
9. EXT. BLACK FOREST CAMPSITE – NIGHT
Everyone in the camp, Ashley, Cory, Kate, Zoey, Gram are gathered
together in cofusion.
APPREHENSION: Unaware of whats going on.
FEAR: Uncertain.
Alden returns with only Shad’s Tags and some of his fur.
Alden hugs Ashley almost in tears.
FEAR: Everyone at campsite.
SUSPENSE: What happend in the forest, and where is Shad.
DREAD: The death of Shad.
STARTLED: They know they are isolated and my be attacked.
They all decide move out of the tents into the motorhome.
10. INT. MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
The Group make their way into the motorhome and bed down for the night.
Cory after working most of the day reparing the burned ignition system,
can’t make repairs.
APPREHENSION: Isolated.
Zoey tries to make a call home on her cell phone, no signal.
APREHENSION: Can’t call home.
ISOLATION: No phone signal.
Gram, and Alden armed decides to share watch duty for the night.
FEAR: Of unwanted visiter.
SUSPENSE: What is stalking them.
The monster is watching the motorhome from the bushes.
11. EXT. CAMPSITE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
The monster enters the camp, ransacking the tents, then goes to
the motorhome and peeps threw the bathroom window.
12. INT. MOTOHOME – NIGHT
A Horror Situation:
Zoey is in the bathroom bushing he teeth, when she spot the monster’s
big eyees enlarged face staring at her, she SCREAMS and runs out of
the bathroom.
SHOCK: The monter’s face.
HYSTERIA: Gets her first look at the monster.
FEAR: Feels helpless.
CREEPY MOMENT: Being watched by a monster.
SCARED: Nearly to death, fear of capture.
Ashley, Kate question what Zoey says she saw, suggest that maybe it
was a bear that she saw, then try to calm her down.
DENIAL: Don’t believe Zoey.
Zoey get pissed because they don’t believe her.
FEAR: For their life.
DREAD: Of what might happen to them.
HYSTERIA: Of the monster capturing them.
SHOCK: There being a monster hunting them.
MONSTER REVEALED: First look at monster.
Suddenly, the motorhome start bouncing and shaking Kate, Ashley start to
believe Zoey.
APPREHENSION: Asley, and Kate are puzzled.
FEAR: The become afraid.
SHOCK: About whats happening.
The monster jumps up and down on the motorhome HISSING, HOWLING LIKE AN
INJURED WOLF, shaking things up and SHOUTS FEED ME over and over.
13. EXT. OUTSIDE MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden, Gram, Cory, go into action each armed, they make their way out of the
motorhome, they get their first look at the monster, and begin shooting.
SHOCK: Their first look at the monster.
FEAR: They know nothing about the monster.
STARTLED: Never seen anything like this before.
EMOTIONAL: They could loose their lives.
DREAD: Must come up with a way to destroy monster.
CREEPY MOMENT: Something they have never seen before.
MONSTER REVEALED: First look at monster.
They make multiple hits, but it doesn’t kill the monster, it runs away into the
darkness of the black forest.
SURPRISE: Bullets won’t kill monster.
Alden, Gram, Cory are sweating, knees kocking, wide eyeed and they can’t believe
what they just saw.
Cory says, we learned one thing about what ever that was, bullets won’t kill
it, maybe fire will.
14. EXT. CAMPSITE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
Later that evening the Thingamajig strikes again this time Kate, Zoey, and Ashley all
get a look at it, as it raids the tents looking for food or one of them.
DREAD: Never seen a monster before.
HYSTERIA: Afraid to die.
FEAR: nearly scared to death.
Ashley, Kate, Zoey CRYING, sweating, Zoey soil herselves.
15. EXT. OUTSIDE MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
Alden, Gram, Cory attack the Thingamajig a battle begins with fire, (molotov cocktails), they miss.
The Thingamajig spits a substance that hits Cory on the leg, he SCREAMS in pain as it burns his
skin, Alden and Gram come to his aid, they stop the pain, by removing a section of clothing in
effected area, the Thingamajig runs into the woods.
Alden, Gram, and Cory pursue the Thingamajig deep into the woods by following his tracks.
16. EXT. CAMPSITE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
The Thingamajig, fooled the Alden, Gram, and Cory, makes his way back to the motorhome, then
tries to break in and capture Kate, Ashley, and Zoey.
17. INT. THE MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
Ashley, Kate, and Zoey are lock inside waiting for Alden, Cory, and Gram to return, they begin hearing
STRANGE NOISES outside the motorhome.
APPREHENSION: Waiting for Aden, Cory, and Gram to return safely.
FEAR: Monster my return.
ANXIETY: Worry, nervous.
Kate peeps outside the window and sees a hairy body runs past, she starts SCREAMING, so do Ashley and Zoey.
they start looking for places to hide.
The Thingamajig starts turning the door knob, trying to get into the motohome, and he’s chanting FEED
ME over and over.
The Thingamajig opens the door to the motorhome, stairing at the girl salivating at the mouth, it GROWLS LIKE
A WOLF, and saying FEED ME, over and over as it is about to enter.
SHOCK: Fears for their lives.
HYSTERIA: Doomed by the monster.
PANIC: Monster my come in motorhome.
DREAD: Death is at the door.
18. EXT./INT. CAMPSITE MOTORHOME – NIGHT
Alden, Cory, and Gram appear, start firing shot at the Thingamajig and it runs into the woods.
Alden, Cory, and Gram rush into the motorhome and hugg their CRYING girl friends.
RELEASE: The girls are saved.
ALDEN
We were chasing the Thingamajig it trick us, we never thought
it would double back here to the motorhome.
19. EXT. CAMPSITE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
The Thingamajig returns and begins HOWLING, near the motorhome, Alden, Cory, and Gram take action, head
out to fight the Thingamajig.
Face to face with the Thingamajig, Alden, Cory, and Gram begin throwing molotov cocktail, but the
Thingamajig is quick, they miss.
Gram moves in close for a better shot with the molotov cocktail.
The Thingamajig charges, grabs Gram, he SCREAMS in pain as the Thingamajig takes a bite out of him,
as it runs into the darkness of the black forest.
Ashley, Kate, and Zoey watch in horror, begin SCREAMING, and close the motorhome door.
Alden and Cory, armed place four molotov cocktails in cooler and head out tracking Gram and
the thingamajig, they follow the Thingamajig’s foot prints to his hideout.
ANGUISH: Gram’s capture.
DREAD: Must try and save Gram.
20. EXT. BLACK FOREST THINGAMAJIG’S HIDEOUT – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
The Thingamajig hideout, a near hole in the ground.
Alden and Cory arrive at the Thingamajig’s cave.
APPREHENSION/SUPENSE: The challenge to try and save Gram and kill the Thingamajig.
ANXIETY/FEAR/CREEPY MOMENT/DISTURBING ENVIRONMENT: They must do what has to be done.
21. INT. THINGAMAJIG’S LAIR – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
Alden and Cory enter the Thingamajig’s lair slowly, molotov cocktails in hand, as they
move deeper into the cave.
Suddenly a BIG BLACK BAT attacks them on his way out of
the cave.
PANIC: They almost run.
SURPISE: The bat scraches them.
CREEPY MOMENT: Being in the Thingamajig’s lair.
In the distance Alden and Cory, HEAR SOUNDS of BONES CRUNCHING, CHEWING, and SWALLOWING,
then it stops.
Alden and Cory look at each other’
APPREHENSION: The sounds in the distance.
FEAR: In the shaddows the Thingamajig waits.
SUSPENSE: Will Gram be alive.
DREAD: What will they find.
Alden and Cory look at each other.(Fear/Anguish)
With blood, gutes, and gleaming sharp teeth, the Thingamajig leaps out, almost grabing Cory,
as he jumps out of the way.
Alden throws a molotov cocktail and misses.
The Thingamajig spits a black paste at Alden, misses, jumps at him,
Cory throws a molotov cocktail, which catches the Thingamajig’s leg on fire.
The Thingamajig WOLF HOWLS in pain.
Alden throws his last molotov cocktail, hitting the Thingamajig’s upper body, he hits
the ground burning, HOWLING.
Alden and Cory fire several shots into the Thingamajig’s body, as it burns, then it morphs
into something even more hideous.
As it burns the Thingamajig morphs to a BIG MAGGOT, then to ASH.
RELEASE: Finally they kill the Thingamajig.
The go deeper into the cave and they find the half eaten body of Gram, they stair at his body,
both almost in tears.
DREAD: For their friend.
ANGUIH: They couldn’t save Gram.
GROSSED OUT: To see his half eaten body.
CREEPY MOMENT: Being in the cave.
22. EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden and Cory carry what’s left of Gram’s body out of the cave, then bury his remains in the
black forest, and head back to camp.
EMOTIONAL: Hurt for Gram’s loss.
23. EXT./INT. MOTORHOME CAMPSITE – NIGHT
Ashley, Kate, Zoey stand at the motorhome happy to see Alden, informs them that Gram is
dead, and so is the monster, Zoey begins CRYING.
ANGUISH:CRYING for her lost love.
24. EXT. THE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Together with Ashley, Cate, Zoey, Alden and Cory gather their things and begin hikeing their
way out to the main road to catch a ride back to town for help.
RELEASE: Headed home.
As they walk huddled threw the black forest there is movement in the bushes.
Ashley, Cate, and Zoey start SCREAMING, Alden and Cory take aim.
Out walks an EIGHT POINT BUCK, looks at them, then wanders back into the woods.
They all take a deep breath, sigh of relief.
STARTLED: Thought it was another monster.
EMOTIONAL: Sared
RELEASE: False alarm, no threat.
25. EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
What appears as a falling star lights the sky, then lands near the lake.
CLOSE ON – A Thingamajig sureys the forest, grimaceing look on his face, looks at
the moon, HISSES and INJURED WOLF HOWLS into the night…
SUSPENSE: Who will be next, time will tell.
FADE OUT
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Day 16: Time to Exchange Feedback
Subject Line:(Huey J. Williams) Horror Outline Version 1
Title: “THE THINGAMAJIG”
Logline:
A Group of High School Graduates celebrate, before leaving for college
with a camping trip in the woods, that they will never forget.
Horror Outline Follows:
THE THINGAMAJIG – HORROR SITUATION TRACK
1. EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
NOTE: OPENING SCENE
Horror Situation:
A forest near a lake illuminated by a full moon, the sounds of desperate
HISSING, and INJURED WOLF GROWL, QUICK THUMPING HITTING THE GROUND, slithers
threw the bush in hot pursuit of a EIGHT POINT BUCK.
The Buck SHRIEKS in pain when something in the bushes rips off it’s feet and
begins devouring it, bones CRUNCHING SOUNDS.
CLOSE ON – Just the monster’s mouth chewing is seen, as it takes big bites of
dear meat.
The forest goes silent.
CLOSE ON – SCREECH OWL SHRIEKS, as he watches from a tree.
2. INT. MOTORHOME – NIGHT
A Group of High School Graduates celebrate, before leaving for college
with a camping trip in the woods.
ALDEN drives the motorhome, SHAD his dog liying at his side CORY rides shotgun,
GRAM, ASHLEY, CATE, and ZOEY sit together at the table, all close friends
throughout High School.
Alden pulls up and stops at a sign that reads: “Black Forest Keep Out”
APPREHENSION: As to why the warning.
SUSPENSE: Why the keep out order.
They continue to the campsite by the lake.
3. EXT. BLACK FOREST CAMPSITE BY THE LAKE – NIGHT
Under a full moon, Ashley, Alden, and Shad pitch their tent and climb in.
Cate and Cory pitch their ten and climb in.
Zoey and Gram pitch their tent and climb in.
In the bushes hiding the monster watches, not making a sound.
Gram decides to go for a jog threw the woods, his nightly routine.
Gram retuns to camp and notices the motorhome is smoking.
The Group jumps into action rush to put out the elctrical fire, then back into their tents.
4. EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Suddenly, there is a LOAD HISSIN followed by a SICK WOLF HOWL!
Everybody jumps out of bed.
APPREHENSION:They are isolated.
CREEPY MOMENT: Alden goes after Shad.
FEAR: Of the unknown all Characters.
PANIC: They have no idea what they are dealing with.
MONSTER REVEAL: Not seen yet, but its something strange.
Shad begins BARKING and GROWELING, then he runs out the tent in hot pursuit
into the woods after the monster.
Alden grabs his rifle and follows shad and tries to catch up into the woods.
5. EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden enters area of the forest where he finds Shad’s collar and his fur scattered
on the ground, he picks up the collar.
Alden notes something in the bushes watching him, he can’t see what it
is but he knows it’s there, he keeps his gun on the ready as he heads back to
camp.
CREEPY MOMENT: Alden knows something watching him in the bush.
FEAR: The unknown.
EMOTIONAL: About loosing Shad.
UNNERVING: Death could be stairing at him in the bush.
6. EXT. BLACK FOREST CAMPSITE – NIGHT
Everyone in the camp, Ashley, Cory, Cate, Zoey, except for Gram are gathered
together in terror huging each other.
Alden returns with only Shad’s Tags and some of his fur.
Alden hugs Ashley almost in tears.
FEAR: Everyone at campsite.
SUSPENSE: What happend in the forest, and where is Shad.
DREAD: The death of Shad.
STARTLED: They know they are isolated and my be attacked.
They all move out of the tents into the motorhome.
7. INT. MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
The Group make their way into the motorhome and bed down for the night.
Zoey tries to make a call home on her cell phone, no signal.
APREHENSION: Can’t call home.
ISOLATION: No phone signal.
Gram, and Alden armed decides to share watch duty for the night.
FEAR: Of unwanted visiter.
SUSPENSE: What is stalking them.
The monster is watching the motorhome in the bushes.
8. EXT. CAMPSITE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
The monster enters the camp, ransacking the tents, then goes to
the motorhome and peeps threw the bathroom window.
9. INT. MOTOHOME – NIGHT
A Horror Situation:
Zoey is in the bathroom bushing he teeth, when she spot the monster’s
big eyees enlarged face staring at her, she SCREAMS and runs out of
the bathroom.
SHOCK: The monter’s face.
HYSTERIA: Gets her first look at the monster.
FEAR: Feels helpless.
CREEPY MOMENT: Being watched by a monster.
SCARED: Nearly to death, fear capture.
Zoey, Ashley, Cate begin SCREAMING as LOUD as they can!
FEAR: For their life.
DREAD: Of what might happen to them.
HYSTERIA: Of the monster capturing them.
SHOCK: There being a monster hunting them.
MONSTER REVEALED: First look at monster.
The monster jumps up and downon the motorhome HISSING, HOWLING LIKE AN
INJURED WOLF, shaking things up and SHOUTS FEED ME over and over.
10. EXT. OUTSIDE MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden, Gram, Cory, go into action each armed, they make their way out of the
motorhome they get their first look at the monster, and begin shooting.
SHOCK: Their first look at the monster.
FEAR: They know nothing about the monster.
STARTLED: Never seen anything like this before.
EMOTIONAL: They could loose their lives.
DREAD: Must come up with a way to destroy monster.
CREEPY MOMENT: Something they have never seen before.
MONSTER REVEALED: First look at monster.
They make multiple hits, but it doesn’t kill the monster, it runs away into the
darkness.
SURPRISE: Bullets won’t kill monster.
Alden, Gram, Cory are sweating, knees kocking, wide eyeed and they can’t believe
what they just saw.
11. EXT. CAMPSITE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
Later that evening the Thingamajig strikes again this time Cate, Zoey, and Ashley all
get a look at it, as it raids the tents looking for food or one of them.
DREAD: Never seen a monster before.
HYSTERIA: Afraid to die.
FEAR: nearly scared to death.
Ashley, Cate, Zoey CRYING, sweating, Zoey soil herselves.
12. EXT. OUTSIDE MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden, Gram, Cory attack the Thingamajig a battle begins with fire, (molotov cocktails), they miss,
and they chase the Thingamajig, it’s tracks leads them deep into the black forest.
The Thingamajig, makes his way back to the motorhome.
13. INT. THE MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
Ashley, Cate, and Zoey are lock inside waiting for Alden, Cory, and Gram to return, they begin hearing
STRANGE NOISES outside the motorhome.
APPREHENSION: Waiting for Aden, Cory, and Gram to return safely.
FEAR: Monster my return.
ANXIETY: Worry, nervous.
Cate peeps outside the window and sees a hairy body runs past, she starts SCREAMING, so do Ashley and Zoey.
The Thingamajig starts turning the door knob, trying to get into the motohome, and he’s chanting FEED
ME over and over.
The Thingamajig opens the door to the motorhome, stairing at the girl salivating at the mouth, it GROWLS LIKE
A WOLF as it is about to enter.
SHOCK: Fears for their lives.
HYSTERIA: Doomed by the monster.
PANIC: Monster my come in motorhome.
DREAD: Death is at the door.
14. EXT./INT. CAMPSITE MOTORHOME – NIGHT
Alden, Cory, and Gram appear, start firing shot at the Thingamajig and it runs into the woods.
Alden, Cory, and Gram rush into the motorhome and hugg their CRYING girl friends.
RELEASE: The girls are saved.
ALDEN
We were chasing the Thingamajig it trick us, we never thought
it would double back here to the motorhome.
15. EXT. CAMPSITE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
The Thingamajig returns and begins HOWLING, near the motorhome, Alden, Cory, and Gram take action, head
out to fight the Thingamajig.
Face to face with the Thingamajig, Alden, Cory, and Gram begin throwing molotov cocktail, but the
Thingamajig is quick, they miss.
Gram moves in close for a better shot with the molotov cocktail.
The Thingamajig charges, grabs Gram, runs into the darkness of the forest.
Ashley, Cate, and Zoey watch and begin SCREAMING, and close the motorhome door, hide.
Alden and Cory, armed place four molotov cocktails in cooler and head out tracking Gram and
the thingamajig, they follow the Thingamajig’s foot prints to his hideout.
ANGUISH: Gram’s capture.
DREAD: Must try and save Gram.
16. EXT. BLACK FOREST THINGAMAJIG’S HIDEOUT – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
The Thingamajig hideout, a near hole in the ground.
Alden and Cory arrive at the Thingamajig’s cave.
APPREHENSION/SUPENSE: The challenge to try and save Gram and kill the Thingamajig.
ANXIETY/FEAR/CREEPY MOMENT/DISTURBING ENVIRONMENT: They must do what has to be done.
17. INT. THINGAMAJIG’S LAIR – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
Alden and Cory enter the Thingamajig’s lair slowly, molotov cocktails in hand, as they
move deeper into the cave.
Suddenly a BIG BLACK BAT attacks them on his way out of
the cave.
PANIC: They almost run.
SURPISE: The bat scraches them.
CREEPY MOMENT: Being in the Thingamajig’s lair.
In the distance Alden and Cory, hear sounds of BONES CRUNCHING, CHEWING, and SWALLOWING,
then it stops.
Alden and Cory look at each other’
APPREHENSION: The sounds in the distance.
FEAR: In the shaddows the Thingamajig waits.
SUSPENSE: Will Gram be alive.
DREAD: What will they find.
Alden and Cory look at each other.(Fear/Anguish)
With blood, gutes, and gleaming sharp teeth, the Thingamajig leaps out, almost grabing Cory,
as he jumps out of the way.
Alden throws a molotov cocktail and misses.
The Thingamajig spits a black paste at Alden, misses, jumps at him,
Cory throws a molotov cocktail, which catches the Thingamajig’s leg on fire.
The Thingamajig WOLF HOWLS in pain.
Alden throws his last molotov cocktail, hitting the Thingamajig’s upper body, he hits
the ground burning, HOWLING.
Alden and Cory fire several shots into the Thingamajig’s body, as it burns, then it morphs
into something even more hideous.
As it burns the Thingamajig morphs to a BIG MAGGOT, then to ASH.
RELEASE: Finally the kill the Thingamajig.
The go deeper into the cave and they find the half eaten body of Gram, they stair at his body,
both almost in tears, they bury whats left of Gram’s body and head back to camp.
DREAD: For their friend.
ANGUIH: They couldn’t save Gram.
GROSSED OUT: To see his half eaten body.
CREEPY MOMENT: Being in the cave.
18. EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden and Cory take Gram’s body out of the cave and bury him in the forest, then make their
way back to the camp.
19. EXT./INT. MOTORHOME – NIGHT
Ashley, Cate, Zoey stand at the motorhome happy to see Alden, informs then that Gram is
dead, and so is the monster, Zoey begins CRYING.
ANGUISH:CRYING for her lost love.
20. EXT. THE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Together with Ashley, Cate, Zoey, Alden and Cory hike their way out to the main road,
where they catch a ride back to town for help.
RELEASE: Headed home.
As they walk huddled threw the black forest there is movement in the bushes.
Ashley, Cate, and Zoey start SCREAMING, Alden and Cory take aim.
Out walks an EIGHT POINT BUCK, looks at them, then wanders back into the woods.
They all take a deep breath, sigh of relief.
STARTLED: Thought it was another monster.
EMOTIONAL: Sared
RELEASE: False alarm, no threat.
21. EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
What appears as a falling star lights the sky, then lands near the lake.
CLOSE ON – A Thingamajig sureys the forest, grimaceing look on his face, looks at
the moon, HISSES and INJURED WOLF HOWLS into the night…
SUSPENSE: Who will be next, time will tell.
FADE OUT
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Have you team with someone yet?
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