Sara
Forum Replies Created
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What I learned was that sometimes I have to go back to the idea I had at the start. AI just wasn’t coming up with mysteries that I connected to. I got a lot of practice tweaking the prompt to get different ideas from AI, but I preferred the idea I had which is simpler than AI’s suggestions but is still an intriguing mystery.
I’m not posting any detail of my story because I feel uncomfortable having followers on ScreenwritingU but not having any way of finding out who they are. I have asked customer services for help with this, many times over 6 months, but to no avail so far. It feels creepy having anonymous followers on a training platform like this.
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What I learnt from this assignment is that although the aim was to create BIG PICTURE ideas, that when AI is a bit vague, I can ask for 5 examples and I get more specific suggestions which I may or may not use later, but which often prompt more ideas of my own.
As I noted on previous forums, I’m not posting the content of my assignments as I’m still waiting for Support to let me know how to find out who my followers are on ScreenwritingU. I find it a bit creepy and weird that I can have followers on a course I’ve paid for, but apparently no way of finding out who those followers are.
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In contrast to previous lesson assignments, I couldn’t get a useful answer from chatgpt on this assignment.
Using the prompt provided, AI described a relationship between the main character and character 2, although it was very superficial and uninteresting and didn’t provide a ‘from’/’to’ type of character arc, it just described what the main character was doing, not the shape of the relationship. It didn’t provide any creative input (new ideas) at all.
In addition, the AI response didn’t set out the relationship between the main character and characters 3 and 4, it just described each individual character and not the relationship.
It also didn’t provide the answer in a table format that I could use. I had a lot of trial and error (around 20 attempts) to create a prompt trying to get a better analysis of the relationships plus have them provided in table format. I told AI to forget all other questions asked that same day when I asked it to redo a response to an amended prompt, but I still didn’t receive a creative response (new ideas).
From my experience of this assignment, I think AI can provide a relationship table for an existing TV series, but I couldn’t get it to create one from scratch (at least not with the prompt provided).
In case it helps anyone else, I used the following addition to the prompt to get chatgpt to provide a format that I could then use in Word to ‘insert table’, ‘convert text to table’ using ‘separate text at |’:
Font = Arial
Size = 10
The table should take the following form, delineating each cell with the symbol |. Use the | symbol only once for each cell, rather than for each line if the cell entry runs over more than one line:
Main character|Character 2|Character 3|Character 4
Surface|
Common Ground|
Conflict|
History|
Subtext|
Relationship Arc|
Apologies to my fellow course participants, I’m not posting the detail of my assignments because ScreenwritingU Support still haven’t told me how to find out who my followers on the site, I think it’s a bit creepy having anonymous followers on a platform like this. I’ve raised this query on another course too, so approximately 6 times in total over the last 6 months, which is a bit frustrating.
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What I learned is not to delay completing the assignments just because I’ve been given more time. Now I’m behind ARGH. I also learned that I can ask AI for more detail or to clarify its replies and that can give an extra layer of detail which has been great.
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What I learned from this assignment is not to delay completing the assignments if I unexpectedly get more time – I’m now behind ARGH. I also learned that I can ask AI for more detail or to clarify its replies and that can give an extra layer of detail.
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What I learned doing this assignment is that I love the speed of AI’s brainstorming, it gives me more time to think more deeply about my characters. I also found that AI’s responses prompt me to improve the character summaries in ways I hadn’t thought of before.
As noted in the previous assignment, I’m not comfortable posting details of my story and characters until I’ve heard back from the support desk about a query I’ve raised with them on a number of occasions over the last few months – how do I find out who is following me on ScreenwritingU.
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What I learned from doing this assignment is that AI comes up with ideas that I wouldn’t have thought of and which take the story into areas I wouldn’t have imagined. I have now combined my ideas and vision with the (probably more interesting and commercial!) suggestions given by AI.
I finished the assignment after Hal’s zoom video on Oct 21, taking his advice on dealing with the overwhelm I had initially experienced when seeing what the AI had brainstormed! No more striving for perfection at this stage, it’s now good enough! It actually only took about 40 minutes to complete the assignment after that.
I’m not comfortable posting details of my story and characters until I’ve heard back from the support desk about a query I’ve raised with them on a number of occasions over the last few months (I’m also taking WiM in parallel to BWTV) – how do I find out who is following me. If anyone knows the answer to this question, please let me know, thanks!
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The handmaids tale.
What I learned from this assignment was how much is packed into the pilot episode, and how many open loops there were.
1. Big Picture hooks: A world that is recognisable, but different, a woman trying to stay alive in a hellish powerless existence, so she will be reunited with her daughter
2. Intriguing character: we hear her thoughts in VoiceOver and what she thinks and says are very different – she doesn’t want to shop for oranges she wants to grab a machine gun: she breaks the rules by going outside; she talks to her friend Moira when she shouldn’t; she constantly subtly asserts her personality in ways would be unacceptable to the people around her; she submits to being raped by the commander
3. Empathy/distress: she hears gunshots when she was trying to escape and assumes her husband has been shot, her child is torn away from her and she’s beaten up, she is raped, she seems to have lost her best friend, Moira, there are severe penalties for not following the rules
4. Layers and open loops: has her husband been shot dead or is he alive, where is her child and will she be reunited with her, what are the other ceremony days that she mentions when we first see her in her room, why is her real first name forbidden, what happened in her first posting and why didn’t that work out, who set up all the rituals and the strange use of language, who is the eye who is in her house?
5. Inviting obsession: how did this world come about, how can June find Hannah and escape, is June’s husband dead or alive, is Moira alive or dead, who is the eye, can the world return to how it was.
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Anyone else unable to access the opening video? BWTV with AI isn’t showing up in my Your Screenwriting Classes page so I can’t access the video. I raised this with a support query through the customer services page, but no reply so far. If you can see the video, can you let me know please? Thanks
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1. Sara Longmuir
2. I’ve finished 3 feature scripts. Before finding ScreenwritingU I had started and abandoned quite a few others. I’m writing a new screenplay as part of Writing Incredible Movies (I’m on draft 2).
3. I want to be able to write well for TV too – great series that will be produced. I’d like to keep up to date with how AI can assist me most effectively. I also want to be able to give and receive helpful feedback from course colleagues to improve my writing even more.
4. Something unusual about me is that as well as having a 40 year career as a chartered accountant in the UK, for the last 25 years I’ve also been a part-time clinical hypnotherapist working with people to help them stop smoking, change unwanted habits and deal with stress related conditions like anxiety and panic attacks. I’m also a certified trainer of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP).
5. I’m currently working through Writing Incredible Movies 4. It’s great and my writing is definitely improving, but I seem to be the only one enrolled on the course so I haven’t benefitted from feedback, although I have been able to see the forum posts of people who took WIM previously. I’m looking forward to learning alongside other people on BW TV.
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I, Sara Longmuir, agree to the Terms of this Release Form.
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
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My Vision: I live a wonderfully happy life writing, collaborating and producing multiple Oscar and BAFTA-winning movies with more than enough money for two light and bright homes, each with its own indoor lap pool (heated using eco-friendly technology).
What I learned from this assignment is: that finding these main story beats can quickly move the story in a different direction from what it would have been had I just ploughed into the script and written the story I was imagining. I think this revised version will be funnier, and also more sad and emotional, than it would have been if I hadn’t done this outline approach. However, I’m wondering if my supporting character is actually the protagonist as she is more active than my hero character. I won’t decide on that yet…
High concept hook: When a man’s memory is wiped in an accident, is it better for him to have good memories that are fake or bad memories that are true?
Main story hook: Mike was burdened by grief until his memories were wiped in an accident and a new life is created for him by a well-meaning but impulsive cleaner pretending to be a hospital doctor and a cast of other characters she creates for a new happier version of his past.
Main Conflict: while Mike tries to recover his true memories, his cleaner creates false, but happy, memories for him, tricking and misleading him to try to make him happy.
Old Ways: Mike suppresses grief into self-destructive behaviours, anger at the world and everyone in it, meanness, hiding away
New Ways: engaging with community, generosity, laughing and fun, active grieving, risking love and loss again.
Act 1:
Opening: Mike getting furious with Shelley for cleaning a part of the house that he didn’t want her to go into.
Inciting Incident: Mike has an accident (that will turn out to be a deliberate act by someone in the story)
Turning Point 1: Mike has lost all his memories – he’s a blank slate.
Act 2:
New plan: revisit familiar landmarks in his local area to jog his memory, try to find people who knew him to help, then turn his home upside down looking for clues to his past
Plan in action: people are mean to him, everyone disliked the old Mike because he was so horrible then, so no-one will help him, isolation is forced on him rather than him choosing it as he had in the past, Shelley has cleaned out the house just ahead of his searches so he finds nothing useful in his home either.
Midpoint Turning Point 2: Mike having been reduced to a husk of his old self, Shelley, masquerading as a doctor, starts to create a new past for him, lays clues that will bring him back to her, plays the part of different characters who can nudge his memories in the right direction [is Shelley the protagonist? She is the active one in this story]
Act 3:
Rethink everything: Mike stops looking outside for his past and must go inside – therapy with another of Shelley’s characters? He starts to have fun and enjoy the research into his past instead of being angry about it. He relaxes more. He accepts the possibility of starting afresh without the burden of a past. [Contrast with Shelley who is only genuinely herself when she’s being his cleaner and is becoming his confidant and friend, perhaps in conflict with some of the characters she’s also acting out?]
New plan: Mike starts afresh. He will create the kind of life he wants to live. Which he has to work out for himself. Perhaps in conflict with Shelley who thinks she knows the best life for him (one that involves her).
Turning Point 3: Huge failure / Major shift / Lowest of the lows / All is lost: Mike discovers Shelley’s deceptions (perhaps she has been secretly living in the locked room where all Mike’s dead wife’s possessions have been preserved), he wants nothing to do with her. Finds his wife’s grave, is overcome by grief and all the old memories come flooding back and overwhelm him.
Act 4:
Climax / Ultimate expression of the conflict / The Test: Mike and Shelley have a showdown, he throws her out. He is about to attempt suicide but sees reminders of the good life that Shelley created for him. Shelley turns up at his door and thinks he’s dead (she has to suffer for deceiving him). Mike doesn’t execute his plan to kill himself. He wants and chooses to be happy!
Resolution: Mike puts his old house on the market and looks for a bright new apartment, with Shelley, not as his cleaner (he stops her cleaning in the new place and shows her a robovacuum), but potentially as his partner.
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My Vision: I live a wonderfully happy life writing, collaborating and producing multiple Oscar and BAFTA-winning movies with more than enough money for two light and bright homes, each with its own indoor lap pool (heated using eco-friendly technology).
What I learned from doing this assignment is with the cumulative effect of the empowerment practice, I’m completing the assignments more quickly each time. Specifically re subtext, once I looked for subtext plots I became more excited about my story as a whole.
High concept hook: When a man’s memory is wiped in an accident, is it better for him to have good memories that are fake or bad memories that are true?
Main story hook: Cliff was burdened by grief until his memories were wiped in an accident and a new life is created for him by a well-meaning but impulsive cleaner pretending to be a hospital doctor and a cast of other characters she creates for a new happier version of his past.
Subtext plot: Someone hides who they are, scheme and investigation, superior position
How subtext plots play out: Shelley pretends to be a hospital consultant helping Mike to recover his memories, but she is creating false, if happy, memories for him and trying to suppress his real past instead. The audience knows that Shelley is trying to mislead Mike, although they don’t fully understand why. With every flash as Mike tries to access his real memories, the audience pieces together the mystery and tragedy of his past.
On surface: Shelley is being helpful
Under surface: She’s manipulating Mike – she tells herself it’s for his benefit, but it’s also to further her agenda for a romantic connection with him.
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My Vision: I live a wonderfully happy life writing, collaborating and producing multiple Oscar and BAFTA-winning movies with more than enough money for two light and bright homes, each with its own indoor lap pool (heated using eco-friendly technology).
What I learned from doing this assignment is that the character becomes clearer and more interesting with every question in the assignment and develops in ways I hadn’t anticipated. Also that the empowerment practice feels increasingly good!
Arc Beginning: brooding, angry, depressed loner
Arc Ending: engaged with life and love
Internal Journey: from suppressing grief to acknowledging sadness and engaging with the ups and downs of life
External Journey: catastrophic accident, reconstructing (false) memories, uncovering the fraud, laying his lost love to rest and engaging with new friends
Old Ways: suppressing grief into self-destructive behaviours, anger at the world and everyone in it, meanness, hiding away
New Ways: engaging with community, generosity, laughing and fun, active grieving, risking love and loss again
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My Vision: I live a wonderfully happy life writing, collaborating and producing multiple Oscar and BAFTA-winning movies with more than enough money for two light and bright homes, each with its own indoor lap pool (heated using eco-friendly technology).
What I learned from doing this assignment is it’s helpful to breakdown the character creation into manageable steps to build interesting characters over a number of iterations.
Character: Mike
Logline: A reclusive, brooding man whose memory was wiped in an accident so he has to piece together his memories and life.
Unique: His mind a tabula rasa.
Character: Shelley
Logline: A quiet, virtually invisible, cleaner who wants to tidy people’s lives as well as their homes – in Mike’s case this means a total refurbishment!
Unique: Her hobby of amateur dramatics enables her to adopt different personas and roles.
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I’m on the course that started May 1, 2023. I’m behind in working through the modules, catching up steadily. Is anyone else part of that intake as I was looking forward to reading and giving feedback on others’ work and getting feedback on my own assignments too? Thanks!
Assignment:
Title: Minding Mike
Concept: When Mike’s memory is wiped in an accident, his cleaner has to decide if it’s better for him to have good memories that are fake or bad memories that are true.
Character structure: RomCom
My Vision: I live a wonderfully happy life writing, collaborating and producing multiple Oscar and BAFTA-winning movies with more than enough money for two light and bright homes, each with its own indoor lap pool (heated using eco-friendly technology).
What I learned from doing this assignment: I did revisit the high concept hook and the main story hook for each of my shortlisted projects a number of times. The two hooks tend to be quite similar and I’m working on them to focus on the purpose of each type of hook and to refine the two hooks for each project. I’ve chosen the project for which I feel the most energy at the moment.
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Sara Longmuir
I agree to the terms of this release form.
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1. Sara Longmuir
2. How many scripts you’ve written? 2 completed, many more abandoned partway through
3. What you hope to get out of the class? Write my high concept comedy feature idea so that I can sell it to Working Title Films here in the UK, sell my romcom script (it needs rewriting)
4. Something unique, special, strange or unusual about you? I’ve had a 40 year career as a chartered accountant with 20 years in parallel as a clinical hypnotherapist. I freelanced in finance for a short while at Film4 in the UK in approx 2000 and used to borrow their scripts. I fell in love with screenplays and dabbled in learning screenwriting. Now I’ve stopped doing finance work and am focusing on writing and producing.
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Thanks Kristina, I’d forgotten that Hal said that. I’m determined not to fall behind on this course (I’m currently behind in Writing Incredible Movies and finding it a challenge to catch up) so I didn’t want to miss a lesson being released. It helped on WiM when the lessons were emailed out as well as being posted online.
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Hi Peter, can you access lesson 7 on the class page? After marking lesson 6 as complete, I listened to the audio analysis of Breaking Bad but it’s not prompting me with another video or lesson and I don’t see a lesson 7 on the list. I’ve tried going into ‘Your Classes’ on a fresh tab and it takes me to the Audio analysis of Bridgerton but then won’t let me play it, it tells me to go back and complete the previous lesson, which is the analysis of Breaking Bad but it has marked that as ‘complete’ so I don’t know where to go next. Sigh. If you can access lesson 7, could you post it in the forum please? Thanks
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Thanks Peter. I forgot to say that my amendment to the prompt gives me 5 columns, the last of which is completely empty so I just delete it. I can’t work out why it does that, but it’s no big deal as it’s easy to delete once it’s in Word.
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Thanks Peter, I reloaded the page in a new browser and can now see lessons 4 and 5. Sorry to hear about Hal’s emergency with his mother, hope everything is ok. Thanks to ScreenwritingU for getting the new lessons loaded to the website so we can continue in the meantime.
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same
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Thanks Margaret for your offer of feedback, that is so kind of you. I’m a month behind ☹️, I’m on module 6 lesson 2 (draft 2 of the screenplay, I should be on module 8 lesson 1 and I’m plodding on). I’ll connect with you through ScreenwritingU and find out where you are, how to exchange drafts ant the appropriate time etc. Feedback feels like such a benefit of the WIM course so it’ll be fantastic to be able to connect and give feedback and receive feedback!