[Jalynn Venis]

Jack Sherry,

I like dogs and would love to see a comedy series like this. Only a few suggestions: The big paragraph makes the info feel a little confusing to me. I would add graph breaks after the sentence “Think Hitch meets…” and the phrase “…wide audience appeal.”

Also, the phrase “the series will appeal” may come on too strong to a producer. How about “the series should appeal…” to be more accurate.

Good luck with this!

[Jalynn Venis]

Jalynn’s Query Letter Draft One

What I learned doing this assignment is I need help making this shorter.

Dear (Producer),

I loved the last western film you produced and thought you might be interested in a contemporary western with great roles for two bankable actors: A teenage heartthrob and an aging well-loved actor.

Title: Heart of a Mustang Genre: Drama/Contemporary Western

Hunter is a happy teen who plays violin and has a comfortable life until his “dead” father comes home. When Hunter learns this man is a drug-dealing ex-con instead of the military hero his mother painted him to be, Hunter jumps the rails. He skips school, makes a new friend, and learns what it takes to be a thief. Before the day’s end, Hunter gets caught robbing hotel guests, and a judge sends him to Promise Ranch for troubled boys.

But how does a juvie sidestep bullies, rattlesnakes, hungry coyotes and murder on the prairie? Hunter bonds with a wild horse and learns to train her from an old cowboy named Smokey who’s as good with troubled teens as he is with mustangs. Plus, Hunter meets Haylie and gets his first crush on a girl who’s a better cowboy than he is.

When Hunter confronts the man who murdered his mother, he must decide if he wants to be a killer like his father or the talented young man his mother raised him to be.

BIO: Jalynn Venis is an optioned screenwriter and former broadcast and non-fiction television producer who has completed several screenwriting assignments. She co-wrote Heart of a Mustang with M.J. Evans, the author of the young adult book In the Heart of a Mustang. Both women are equestrians.

If you like the concept, I’d be happy to send you the screenplay.

Best regards,

Jalynn Venis

303-524-4660 jalynnvenis@gmail.com

[Jalynn Venis]

Jalynn’s Target Market

What I learned doing this assignment is that I’ve got another tool for finding producers to query. Thank you!

Title/Genre: Heart of a Mustang

Logline: A wild horse and an old cowboy help a teen thief find redemption and purpose in life – after he learns his ex-con father has murdered his mother.

1) 5 or more movies similar to mine:

Power of the Dog (2021) – Benedict Cumberbatch, Jesse Plemons, Kirsten Dunst

Cry Macho (2021) – Clint Eastwood, Eduardo Minett

Concrete Cowboy (2020) – Idris Elba, Caleb McLaughlin, Jharrel Jerome

Director Ricky Staub (other creds Snow White and the Huntsman)

Old Henry (2021) – Tim Blake Nelson, Scott Haze, Gavin Lewis

Wind River (2017) – Jeremy Renner, Peter Berg, Elizabeth Olsen (Dir. Taylor

Sheridan)

Whiplash (2014) – Miles Teller, J.K. Simmons, Melissa Benoist (Directed by Damien Chazelle)

2) Power of the Dog Producers

Jane Campion

Ian Canning

Roger Frappier

Tanya Seghatchian,

Emile Sherman

John Woodward

Libby Sharpe

Phil Jones

Chloe Smith

Simon Gillis

Cry Macho

Clint Eastwood

Jessica Meier

Tim Moor

Albert S. Ruddy

Concrete Cowboy

Lee Daniels

Idris Elba

Jennifer Madeloff

Tucker Tooley

Jason Barhydt

Emma Brown

Alastair Burlingham

Lorraine Burgess

Ana Garanito

Gregoire Gensollen

Staci Hagenbaugh

Tegan Jones

Sam Mercer

G Neri

Gary Raskin

Greg Renker

Dan Walser

Jeff Waxman

Old Henry

Michael Hagerty

Shannon Houchins

Wind River

Elizabeth Bell

Peter Berg

Matthew George

Basil Iwanyk

Wayne Rogers

Whiplash

Jason Blum

Helen Estabrook

David Lancaster

Michel Litvak

Actors That Might Play Leads

A teenage heartthrob:

Maxwell Jenkins (Lost in Space)

Jill Ahrens, Ryan Ahrens, Derrick Brooks, Rebecca Cammarata, Eva Maria Daniels, Jean-Luc De Fanti, Terry Dougas, Uwe Fewersenger, Jake Gyllen hall, Paris Kassidokostas-Latsis (Joe Bell (2020))

Noah Schnapp (Stranger Things)

Robert Ogden Barnum, Eric Binns, Bavand Karim, Christopher Kopp, Joey Stanton (The Tutor (2023))

An aging well-loved cowboy actor:

Tom Selleck

Stanley O’Toole, Alexandra Rose, Megan Rose (Quigley Down Under)

Kevin Costner

Kevin Costner, Jim Wilson (Dances with Wolves)

Dennis Quaid

Todd Hallowell, KC Hodenfield, Ron Howard, Mark Johnson, Philip Steuer, Louisa Velis (The Alamo (2004))

[Jalynn Venis]

Jalynn’s Phone Pitch

What I learned doing this assignment is I’m almost ready to start pitching!

Hi, I’m Jalynn Venis, and I’m an optioned screenwriter who’s also had several paid screenwriting assignments. Can I tell you about it in 30 seconds?

I have a contemporary western titled Heart of a Mustang. Here’s the concept:

A wild horse and an old cowboy help a teen thief find redemption and purpose in life – after he learns his ex-con father murdered his mother.

It’s got great roles for two bankable actors:

A teenage heartthrob: Maxwell Jenkins (Lost in Space) or Noah Schnapp (Stranger Things)

and

An aging well-loved cowboy actor: Tom Selleck/Kevin Costner/Dennis Quaid)

I called your company because I loved (your western film) …

BIO: I’m an optioned screenwriter and former broadcast and non-fiction television producer. I’ve also completed several screenwriting assignments and written several specs.

I co-wrote Heart of a Mustang with M.J. Evans, the author of the young adult book In the Heart of a Mustang that our script is based on.

Both of us have had horses and know how they gentle a human soul.

· Budget range – $3-$5 million

· Actors – A teen heartthrob who looks like pop singer Shawn Mendes and a Dennis Quaid or Tom Selleck older cowboy.

· Pages: 120

· Who’s seen it – 1 small production company in Las Vegas a couple of years ago, whose name I can’t recall

· Why it fits your company – You’ve done a few westerns and may be ready for a contemporary take on a western.

· Ending: In a tense climatic scene where Hunter’s father confronts him at a state fair and tries to force Hunter to go with him at gunpoint, Hunter gets the gun and chooses not to shoot his murderous father. The story ends with Smokey offering Hunter a permanent position at Promise Ranch and Hunter working with an angry boy, not unlike himself when he first arrived there.

· Acts

Act I: Hunter discovers his “dead” ex-con father is back and tries to prove he’s bad to the bone like his dad by getting in trouble with the law and being sent to Promise Ranch for troubled boys.

Act II: Hunter bonds with a wild horse and learns to gentle it from an old cowboy named Smokey. He also gets his first crush on a girl who’s a better cowboy than Hunter is.

Act III: Hunter’s father tracks him down at a fair and confronts him roughly. Hunter has to decide if he’s going to kill the man who killed his mother or be the talented young man his mother raised him to be.

· BIO Extended: I’ve been a professional writer all my life, as well as a television and video producer. I’ve worked in broadcast news and non-fiction television. My work has been seen on PBS, HGTV, and other networks. I’m also a published author of books and magazine articles.

[Jalynn Venis]

Jalynn’s Pitch Fest Pitch

What I learned doing this assignment is that this formula makes a pitch a lot less intimidating.

Hi, I’m Jalynn Venis, and I’m an optioned screenwriter who’s also had several paid screenwriting assignments.

I have a contemporary western titled Heart of a Mustang.

The love of a wild horse and the trust of an old cowboy help a teen thief find redemption and purpose in life – after he learns his ex-con father has murdered his mother.

· Budget range – $3-$5 million

· Actors – A teen heartthrob who looks like pop singer Shawn Mendes and a Dennis Quaid or Mark Harmon-type older cowboy.

· Act I: Hunter discovers his “dead” ex-con father is back and tries to prove he’s bad to the bone like his dad by getting in trouble with the law and being sent to Promise Ranch for troubled boys.

Act II: Hunter bonds with a wild horse and learns to gentle it from an old cowboy named Smokey. He also gets his first crush on a girl who’s a better cowboy than Hunter is.

Act III: Hunter’s father tracks him down at a fair and confronts him roughly. Hunter has to decide if he’s going to kill the man who killed his mother or be the talented young man his mother raised him to be.

· Hunter’s father follows him to the state fair and confronts Hunter outside of a bar brandishing a gun to compel him to go with him. Hunter knocks the gun away and gets it, pointing it at the man he knows murdered his mother. Hunter desperately wants to kill him, but at the last moment makes a better decision and hands the gun over to his mentor, Smokey.

· I’ve been a professional writer all my life, as well as a television and video producer. I’ve worked in broadcast news and non-fiction television. My work has been seen on PBS, HGTV, and other networks. I’m also a published author of books and magazine articles.

[Jalynn Venis]

Jalynn’s Query Letter

What I learned doing this assignment is you’ve got a reliable process for putting a query together. Thank you!

Dear (Producer),

I loved the last western film you produced and thought you might be interested in a contemporary western with great roles for two bankable actors: A teenage heartthrob and an aging well-loved actor.

Title: Heart of a Mustang Genre: Drama/Contemporary Western

Hunter is a happy teen who plays violin and has a comfortable life until his “dead” father comes home. When Hunter learns this man is a drug-dealing ex-con instead of the military hero his mother painted him to be, Hunter jumps the rails. He skips school, makes a new friend, and learns what it takes to be a thief. Before the day’s end, Hunter gets caught robbing hotel guests, and a judge sends him to Promise Ranch for troubled boys.

But how does a juvie sidestep bullies, rattlesnakes, hungry coyotes and murder on the prairie? Hunter bonds with a wild horse and learns to train her from an old cowboy named Smokey who’s as good with troubled teens as he is with mustangs. Plus, Hunter meets Haylie and gets his first crush on a girl who’s a better cowboy than he is.

When Hunter confronts the man who murdered his mother, he must decide if he wants to be a killer like his father or the talented young man his mother raised him to be.

BIO: Jalynn Venis is an optioned screenwriter and former broadcast and non-fiction television producer who has completed several screenwriting assignments. She co-wrote Heart of a Mustang with M.J. Evans, the author of the young adult book In the Heart of a Mustang. Both women are equestrians.

If you like the concept, I’d be happy to send you the screenplay.

Best regards,

Jalynn Venis

303-524-4660 jalynnvenis@gmail.com

[Jalynn Venis]

Jalynn’s Synopsis Hooks

What I learned doing this assignment is the synopsis gets tighter and better using the COMs and MITs as hooks.

Hooks

a. Unique about the villain: Hunter’s “dead” father returns to his life as an ex-con.

Unique about the hero: The first time Hunter “acts out” he gets caught by police and thrown in juvie court.

b. Major hook of opening scene: Hunter’s “dead” father comes home.

c. Turning points: When he sees his dad, Hunter realizes his mother has been lying to him all his life and has an emotional breakdown.

-Hunter confronts his father who tracks him to a state fair and has to decide whether or not to kill him for killing his mother.

a. Major twists:

-This violin-playing “A” student gets angry and is recruited by a thief to assist in a robbery.

-Hunter falls for a horse, then gets his first crush on a girl who’s a better cowboy than he is.

b. Reversals: When an angry Hunter gets to Promise Ranch, the connection he has with the mustang inspires him, mellows him, and gives him something new and important to live for.

c. Character betrayals:

-Hunter’s father terrorizes his mother and eventually kills her.

d. Big surprises:

–Hunter’s horse alerts him to a rattlesnake before it strikes.

-Hunter fights off coyotes to save his injured horse.

Great roles for two bankable actors: A teenage heartthrob and an aging well-loved actor.

Wide audience appeal: four-quadrant movie range of audience appeal for both male and female, plus over and under 25.

Title: Heart of a Mustang

Written by Jalynn Venis and M.J. Evans

Genre: Drama/Contemporary Western

Hunter is a happy teen who plays violin and has a comfortable life until his “dead” father comes home. When Hunter learns this man is a drug-dealing ex-con instead of the military hero his mother painted him to be, Hunter jumps the rails. He skips school, makes a new friend, and learns what it takes to be a thief. Before the day’s end, Hunter gets caught robbing hotel guests, and a judge sends him to Promise Ranch for troubled boys.

But how does a juvie sidestep bullies, rattlesnakes, hungry coyotes and murder on the prairie?

Hunter bonds with a wild horse and learns to train her from an old cowboy named Smokey who’s as good with troubled teens as he is with mustangs. Plus, Hunter meets Haylie and gets his first crush on a girl who’s a better cowboy than he is.

When Hunter confronts the man who murdered his mother, he must decide if he wants to be a killer like his father or the talented young man his mother raised him to be.

[Jalynn Venis]

Jalynn’s High Concept/Elevator Pitch

What I learned doing this assignment is that I’ve found a better way to express the big picture of this story.

1.To find your main hook, tell us what the big picture explanation of your lead character’s journey is.

A 15-year-old boy loses faith in his deceitful parents and breaks the law. He’s sent to Promise Ranch for troubled boys to find himself.

A troubled teen loses everything that was good in his life, then is sent to Promise Ranch for troubled boys to find himself again with the help of an old cowboy and the wild horse he bonds with.

A judge sends a juvenile delinquent to Promise Ranch for troubled boys where he bonds with a wild horse and an old cowboy, and in doing so, rediscovers his true self.

The love of a wild horse and the trust of an old cowboy help a teen thief regain his self-esteem and find purpose in life.

2. How can you tell it in the most interesting way possible?

Dilemma

If a conflicted teen shoots the man who murdered his mother, he’ll have to kill his father.

Main Conflict

A teenaged boy learns his “dead” father is alive and is an ex-con trying to reconnect with his son.

What’s at stake?

Will Hunter turn into a repeat offender and eventually become a convict like his father, or will he regain his sense of self and do something worthwhile with his life.

Goal/Unique Opposition

Hunter’s goal is to train the wild horse and regain his belief in himself.

3.Using the 10 Components of Marketability, what is your Elevator Pitch?

The love of a wild horse and the trust of an old cowboy help a teen thief find redemption and purpose in life.

[Jalynn Venis]

Jalynn’s 10 Most Interesting Things

What I learned doing this assignment is there are all kinds of hooks and it’s not hard to identify them.

Specific Hooks:

a. Unique about the villain: Hunter’s “dead” father returns to his life as an ex-con.

Unique about the hero: The first time Hunter “acts out” he gets caught by police and thrown in juvie court.

b. Major hook of opening scene: Hunter’s “dead” father comes home.

c. Turning points: When he sees his dad, Hunter realizes his mother has been lying to him all his life and has an emotional breakdown.

d. Emotional dilemma?

-Hunter confronts his father who tracks him to a state fair and has to decide whether or not to kill him for killing his mother.

e. Major twists:

-This violin-playing “A” student gets angry and is recruited by a thief to assist in a robbery.

-Hunter falls for a horse, then gets his first crush on a girl who’s a better cowboy than he is.

f. Reversals: When an angry Hunter gets to Promise Ranch, the connection he has with the mustang inspires him, mellows him, and gives him something new and important to live for.

g. Character betrayals:

-Hunter’s father terrorizes his mother and eventually kills her.

h. Big surprises:

–Hunter’s horse alerts him to a rattlesnake before it strikes.

[Jalynn Venis]

Jalynn’s Producer/Manager

What I learned today is it’s easy to pitch to a producer or manager when you know exactly what they’re looking for.

Presenting to Producer:

I will pitch one project to each producer, and find producers who work in the genres I’m pitching with hooks that compel them to read or ask for more. I’ll emphasize I work to elevate characters into great roles for bankable actors, and I write emotionally charged stories that audiences will want to invest in. For those who request scripts, I’ll query them monthly about other scripts that fit their genre interests.

Presenting to Manager:

I will pitch one project initially, but reference I’ve written several features and am an award-winning writer and former broadcast and cable television writer/producer who understands how to take notes and create a produceable project. I’ve also completed multiple screenwriting assignments.

[Jalynn Venis]

Jalynn’s Marketable Components

What I learned doing this assignment is this screenplay actually has five of the 10 Components of Marketability.

“Heart of a Mustang” Logline: A judge sends a juvenile delinquent to Promise Ranch for troubled boys where he bonds with a wild horse and an old cowboy, and in doing so, rediscovers his true self.

Wide audience appeal: Focuses on a smart 15-year-old who gets into trouble for the first time and is sent to Promise Ranch for six months. An older cowboy teaches him how to bond with a mustang, then how to gentle and train that horse to be ridden. The boy learns important life lessons as he falls for a horse, then later for a girl.

I can pitch this as a great story for a teenaged heartthrob and an attractive aging cowboy actor that really falls into the four-quadrant movie range of audience appeal for both male and female, plus over and under 25.

Great roles for two bankable actors: A teenage heartthrob and an aging well-loved actor.

I can pitch the roles referring to a “Shawn Mendes (Pop Singer)-type teen heartthrob” and a “Dennis Quaid, Mark Harmon or Kevin Costner cowboy.”

[Jalynn Venis]

Jalynn’s Horror Outline Version 1

What I learned is that I had mixed up some of my cast members and their dire situations, and had to rework that. I could see it after taking out all of the extraneous info and focusing on more of an outline.

Wildcats Outline

Wildcats Concept: Fraternity brothers play a drinking game with deadly results at the ranch estate of one of them. A frat brother entices the family’s big cats to eat the evidence of a dead pledge and when the cats get loose in the house, everyone is “game” and a hidden psychopath emerges.

EXT. COUNTRY ROAD – NIGHT

Three vehicles (a BMW, Mazda Miata, Ford Explorer) carrying fraternity brothers and pledges speed down a lonely road toward a country estate under a full moon. Cole, whose family owns the ranch, is driving three fraternity brothers (Malcolm, Phillip, Creighton) in his car, plus Benji, a pledge; Ethan is driving his good friend Axel; and Gary, a pledge, has another pledge, Wesley, with him.

EXT. RANCH ESTATE – NIGHT

The cars pull up to a ranch estate. The guys get out of the cars and walk along the big cat cages that lead into their wing inside the house. The cats, a black panther, cougar and cheetah, growl. The panther puts his head against the bars, and Cole reaches out to give his head a scratch. He warns the others not to touch the cats and avoid eye contact, but Ethan tells a pledge it’s OK to pet the cougar. When Benji does, the cougar screams at him and scratches his hand with a claw before he can pull it away.

INT. LUXURIOUS RANCH HOUSE – NIGHT

Cole cleans and dresses Benji’s scratched hand. He assures the guys they’re safe around the cats if they do what he says.

The guys meet Kellie (30s), the attractive housekeeper who has made Jell-O shots for them as a welcome to the ranch.

The pledges participate in a hazing drinking game. The frat boys want to see who can drink the most Tequila the fastest and be exempt from fraternity chores for the first month. Benji and Wesley dive in. One pledge, Gary, refuses to drink and is told to leave the ranch because more drinking will ensue.

Benji, the most gung-ho of the pledges, drinks way too much, and develops severe alcohol poisoning. Benji gets very sick and goes to the bathroom to upchuck. When he comes out, he decides to go sit with the big cats to try to sober up.

INT. CAT WING OF HOUSE – NIGHT

When the cats see Benji inside their suite in the house, they get very excited and start pacing. Benji watches them for a moment before his eyes roll back in his head as he has a seizure and starts choking. Benji dies on his own vomit. The cats react wildly.

Malcolm goes looking for Benji and finds him in the cat compound. He tries to rouse Benji, but realizes that he’s dead. Malcolm calls out for the others. The guys are horrified that Benji is dead.

INT. GREAT ROOM – NIGHT

They go back to the great room and debate what to do about Benji and if they’re going to get in trouble for his death. Cole worries about what his father will say.

One of the frat bros goes back to the big cat compound where Benji’s body is, but we don’t see who, just his legs. He gets an idea and pours tequila into the cats’ water. The cats drink it and grow loud and angry. This person goes out of the cat wing and closes the door. He operates a control panel that releases them into the area where Benji is.

The panther and the cougar stride out, sniff Benji’s body, and pounce on him, tearing into his flesh. They fight each other a bit, then go back to eating the body. The third cat growls and screams.

INT. TOILET – NIGHT

Wesley, who stopped drinking long before Benji did, gets helped to the toilet by some of the guys to vomit.

Cole realizes that Ethan, Creighton and Axel have gone too far in coaxing the pledges to binge drink. He’s starting to worry that they have bigger problems than the mess Wesley is making in the bathroom with his projectile vomiting.

INT. CAT WING – NIGHT

When Cole sees that the cats are loose, he freaks and tries to get the cats back into their cages, but they’ve developed a taste for human flesh and go after him. Cole escapes, but so do the big cats. The frat brothers are running through the house, trying to get away from them.

INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT

The cougar walks into the kitchen where two frat brothers Ethan and Axel are trying to find weapons. They grab knives. The cougar leaps up on the kitchen island and growls at them, pacing around it. Ethan throws his knife at the cat, but it bounces off. He turns and runs. The cat screams and lunges for Axel who can’t get away in time and mauls him. Cole runs into the kitchen and talks the cougar down with a broom, too late to save Axel’s life. The cougar runs off while Cole tries to help Axel.

INT. 2^ND FLOOR HALLWAY OVERLOOKING GREAT ROOM – NIGHT

The cougar runs down a hallway on the second floor. He sees one of the boys, Creighton, and chases him. The frat boy climbs up on the railing of the overlook down into the great room. He sees a large light fixture and jumps for it. The cat stands up on the railing and makes ready to jump after him. The boy lets go as the fixture starts to come loose from the ceiling and falls onto a couch. The cougar jumps to the light fixture. The boy leaps off the couch and runs as the whole fixture falls with the cat to the floor.

INT. CLOSET – NIGHT

Ethan is hiding in a closet. The panther approaches and smells him. He sniffs all around the door. Finally, he rakes his claws down the door trying to open it.

Ethan is holding onto the door handle like his life depends on it. He manages to keep the door closed until the panther gets distracted and moves on.

INT. STUDY – NIGHT

Ethan finds Cole and tells him he needs to get guns and kill these cats before they kill the frat brothers. Cole is conflicted, but was thinking the same thing. These are family pets in his mind, but he realizes there’s no other choice.

Cole goes into his father’s study with Ethan behind him. Cole pulls a rifle out of a gun case and grabs a holster with a pistol. Ethan picks a pistol and a sword off the wall. They load the guns with ammo.

INT. KELLIE’S ROOM – NIGHT

Kellie turns off the TV and takes her ear buds out and puts them on the side table of her bed. She lies back to go to sleep, but is frightened by a scratching at her door. She looks down at the light under the door and sees a big black paw raking the carpet under the door. She looks at the door handle? Is it latched? Before she can get out of bed, the panther throws his weight against the door and pushes it open. Kellie stifles a scream as the panther sees her and jumps up on the bed straddling her and pinning her down with fear.

Cole sees the panther going into her room and races down the hall to her. He picks up a desk chair and pushes the cat off the bed and into her bathroom and closes the door. Kellie shrieks in relief, as Cole holds her and apologizes.

INT. KELLIE’S BATHROOM – NIGHT

The panther in Kellie’s bathroom breaks through a window and gets outdoors on a section of roof.

EXT. ROOF – NIGHT

The big cat walks around to a balcony, jumps onto it, and paws open a sliding glass door that’s ajar. He listens to the screams inside the house and trots off.

INT. INDOOR POOL – NIGHT

Another frat brother, Phillip, is hiding in the huge pool room. The panther walks in and sees Phillip at the end of the pool in the dim light. Phillip starts to get into the water, but the panther jumps into the end of the pool and swims toward him. Phillip grabs the pool skimmer pole and runs down a side trying to push the panther away but it’s relentless in stalking Phillip. He manages to put the skimmer net over the panther’s head and distract it long enough to escape.

INT. SECOND FLOOR HALLWAY – NIGHT

Malcolm on the second floor has found a whip and when he turns a corner trying to find the others, he runs into the cougar. He cracks the whip and spooks the cat for a few moments.

Malcolm thinks he has the upper hand and tries to back away, but the cat follows him. He cracks the whip again, but this time the cat keeps coming at him. Malcolm gets to the stairway leading downstairs and runs down to a landing then trips and tumbles down the rest of the steps. The cougar follows after him and the panther pounces on him when he gets to the bottom. He screams hoping help will come.

Cole and Ethan are looking for the cats with their guns ready. The panther is chewing on Malcolm who is being eaten alive. When the cougar sees Cole, he leaps for him. Cole tries to react quickly enough to get a shot off. But the cougar is on him before he can.

Ethan takes the sword and rams it into the cougar’s side. The cat screams and runs off. Ethan helps Cole up as the panther now comes at them.

INT. GARY’S CAR – NIGHT

Gary, the pledge who wouldn’t drink, doesn’t feel right about leaving the ranch. He turns his car around and drives back. He parks the car and walks in through the front door when he hears screaming.

EXT. RANCH HOUSE – NIGHT

Gary gets out of his car and hears screaming. He runs to the front door and opens it to see the panther chewing on Malcolm and shouts then turns and runs leaving the door wide open.

He scrambles up on the wired and barred cat enclosure and watches the panther as it runs out the door looking for him.

Cole yells for everyone to get out of the house if they can. Ethan runs off.

INT. CAT WING – NIGHT

Ethan heads for the cat wing to see what’s left of Benji. To his chagrin, there’s still a lot of pieces left. Then he notices the cheetah is missing. Where did it go?

EXT. CAT ENCLOSURE – NIGHT

The cheetah is moving through a caged enclosure that takes it from inside the house in the cat wing to the outdoor enclosure. When it reaches the outdoors, it sees Gary sitting on top of its enclosure watching for the panther.

The cheetah runs toward Gary and jumps up in the air trying to get a bite of him. This scares Gary into falling off of the enclosure. He gets up.

INT. HOUSE – NIGHT

Cole goes back in for Kellie and anyone else who’s still alive and pulls her out. She tells him she’s called 9-1-1 and his father. He sees Phillip and together they get Kellie into Cole’s Explorer.

EXT. RANCH HOUSE – NIGHT

He sees Gary and tells him to get back inside his car. Then Cole goes back in for anyone else he can find.

INT. COLE’S EXPLORER – NIGHT

Kellie watches as Ethan runs toward his BMW.

Ethan is walking around to the driver’s seat of his car. That’s the moment the panther jumps on top of the car, staring Ethan down.

Ethan backs away and bumps into Cole’s Explorer. He yells to Kellie to unlock the doors so he can get inside. Kellie scrambles to unlock the doors, but not before the panther jumps on Ethan and starts shredding him. The cat takes part of Ethan’s leg.

A badly mauled Malcolm rises up from the back seat floorboard of Cole’s Explorer scaring Kellie out of her wits and telling Kellie not to open the car.

Kellie pushes him away telling Malcolm they’ve got to help the others. He’s almost out of his mind with fear and prevents Kellie from opening the doors for Ethan.

Gary tries to help Ethan, but is attacked by the cougar who bites his head off. This attracts the panther. Ethan now has a chance to get into his BMW.

INT. GUEST BEDROOM – NIGHT

Wesley is passed out on a guest bed after drinking so much. Cole finds him and carries him out with the rifle slung across his back. He stops to rest near the front door and yells for anyone else inside to help him. Creighton steps out of the library and grabs Wesley under one arm as Cole takes the other. They look towards the front door to see the cougar standing there eyeing them.

Cole tells Creighton to carry Wesley while he reaches for the rifle. The cougar charges them and all Cole can do is whip the rifle butt around and hit the cougar in the head. It gets a paw on him and rakes his chest. Cole pulls a pistol out of his holster and shoots the cougar who bounds away.

EXT. RANCH HOUSE – NIGHT

Cole and Creighton get Wesley outside and face the panther. When the panther turns on Cole, he has to shoot it with his pistol several times to kill it.

Finally, his beloved panther is dead and the cougar appears and tears into the dead panther, then sees Cole and takes a last run at him. Cole puts bullets into his pistol just in the nick of time to shoot the cougar in the head. It falls inches from him and reaches a paw out to him with a sad cry. Cole cries over their deaths and this whole fiasco.

First responders arrive and gather up the dead and wounded. They wrap Ethan’s leg and wounds on his face. He’s lost a lot of blood and they don’t expect him to survive.

INT. CAT WING – NIGHT

Cole goes back to the indoor cat cages. He sees that the cheetah’s cage has been opened by someone, and the cat is gone.

EXT. RANCH HOUSE – NIGHT

A paramedic shuts the door to an ambulance. Flashing red, white and blue lights signal the ambulance is moving.

INT. AMBULANCE – NIGHT

Ethan is lying on a gurney. His eyes open in his bloody, bandaged face and he smiles.

[Jalynn Venis]

1. Character Journey Track

What I learned doing this assignment is that I got all kinds of ideas for dialogue for these characters by getting to know them better.

A. What is their Character Profile? Ethan

Role:
Survivor / Psychopathic Monster
Traits:
Egocentric, superior, deceptive, liar, manipulative, demeans others
Fears:
Pain,
Wants/Needs:
Wants to make the pledges get so drunk they’ll be sick and pitiful. Needs
to lord over them and the other frat boys.
Likability
/ Rooting factors: He’s a bastard, but he’s smart at it. He’ll walk right
up to a good decision, then turn away from it at the last second.
How
they react under stress: He’s all about self-preservation the expense of
others.
Relationship
with other characters: He treats important people well, and lesser humans
badly.

B. What is their Character Journey for this story?

Character
Intro: He slips alcoholic beverages into the wildcats’ water. He’s ultra
cool.
Denial:

Their
reaction at first horror: Fascination
Relation
to group after first horror: He realizes someone is gonna get killed, but
not him.
How
they fight back: He throws a knife at the cougar in the kitchen and runs,
leaving Axel trapped to face the cat alone. He puts others in front of the
horror and runs.
End
Point: He gets badly mauled, and we think he’s going to die, but in the
end, he’s alive.
What
insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? The
audience realizes Ethan is the ultimate monster and he’s going to turn up
again in the sequal. The theme is the making and sustaining of a psychopathic
killer.

A. What is their Character Profile? Cole

Role: Leader / Survivor / Hero
Traits: Smart, likeable, compassionate, strong
sense of right and wrong
Fears: Disappointing his father, losing control
of the cats, someone getting hurt
Wants/Needs: Wants a confortable weekend where the
pledges are put through their paces — safely
Likability
/ Rooting factors: When he has to be, he discovers he’s a bad ass. He’s
the most intelligent and human of the frat boys. He’ll risk himself to
protect the others.
How
they react under stress: He confronts it head on.
Relationship
with other characters: He’s one of the older frat brothers and acts like a
big brother to the others.

B. What is their Character Journey for this story?

<div>
Character
Intro: We see his comfort level and experience with the wildcats.
Denial:
He doesn’t think anything can get out-of-hand, but he doesn’t take into
consideration that one of the frat brothers will intentionally cause trouble
and one pledge will die that weekend.
Their
reaction at first horror: shock, then fear everything will get worse
Relation
to group after first horror: Tries to comfort the others and get control
of the situation
How
they fight back: He takes charge and takes responsibility.
End
Point: When the last big cat is killed.
What
insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? You have
to be on the lookout for the hidden terror or killer. Nothing and no one
is only what they appear to be. </div><div>

</div>

A. What is their Character Profile? Creighton

Role:
Out-of-control / Obnoxious jerk of a guy.
Traits:
A little clueless about others because he’s so egocentric
Fears:
Anything out of the ordinary; anything that forces him to grow up
Wants/Needs:
Fun all the time / a babysitter
Likability
/ Rooting factors: He’s somewhat funny / little to root for
How
they react under stress: He gets very scared and does stupid things
because he can’t think well.
Relationship
with other characters: He’s wealthy and people want to be his friend,

B. What is their Character Journey for this story?

<div>
Character
Intro: He wants to see the pledges get stupid drunk.
Denial:
He can’t believe the big cats will really kill them.

Their
reaction at first horror: Absolute terror.
Relation
to group after first horror: He’s nicer.
How
they fight back: He hides.
End
Point: He’s slashed, but manages to help others out of the house.
What
insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? Everyone
is a meat target for the cats.
</div><div>

</div>

A. What is their Character Profile? Malcolm

Role:
Monster Bait
Traits:
Nice guy; good natured
Fears:
None until he faces a big cat by himself
Wants/Needs:
To have a good time / to have a good story to tell
Likability
/ Rooting factors: He’s very likeable. / He’s someone who should have a
full life.
How
they react under stress: Problem solver
Relationship
with other characters: friendly

B. What is their Character Journey for this story?

<div>
Character
Intro: Passenger in a car, one of the guys
Denial:
That anything could go wrong with this weekend
Their
reaction at first horror: Shock, upset, astonished
Relation
to group after first horror: problem solver
How
they fight back: with whatever comes to hand
End
Point: Malcolm is shredded by the panther and is hauled out of the house
by his bros, but later dies.
What
insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? Even
good guys die.
</div><div>

</div>

A. What is their Character Profile? Axel

Role:
Rebel / Rule breaker; Ethan’s friend and follower
Traits:
Easily manipulated by Ethan; wants to be a cool guy; tries on others’
behaviors
Fears:
anything that rocks his world
Wants/Needs:
Wants to be one of the cool crowd / to always have friends around him
Likability
/ Rooting factors: Bland / No one wants to see a needy person get mauled
How
they react under stress: He’s a screamer
Relationship
with other characters: He’s tolerated more than liked

B. What is their Character Journey for this story?

<div>
Character
Intro: Ethan’s good buddy
Denial:
Their
reaction at first horror: Disgust, inconvenience
Relation
to group after first horror: Damn, this is a pain.
How
they fight back: With a knife and whatever he can find.
End
Point: He follows Ethan to the kitchen where they grab knives to fend off
the big cats. A cougar comes in and Ethan throws his knife at it and runs.
That leaves Axel pinned into a corner with the cougar in front of him. It
kills Axel.
What
insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? Ethan
did nothing to help save his friend.
</div><div>

</div>

A. What is their Character Profile? Phillip

Role:
Monster Bait
Traits:
Smart Alec. Goes along with everyone. Thinks the collective will figure
things out.
Fears:
Doesn’t know his fears until he becomes prey.
Wants/Needs:
To be safe / To be saved
Likability
/ Rooting factors: He’s OK; not someone you’d gravitate toward for
anything but a good time
How
they react under stress: He’d scared; hides and waits to emerge
Relationship
with other characters: He’s a bit of an island.

B. What is their Character Journey for this story?

<div>
Character
Intro: Monster Bait / Average guy
Denial:
No, this can’t be happening to me!
Their
reaction at first horror: He runs and finds a hiding place.
Relation
to group after first horror: Terror
How
they fight back: He’s a rabbit – runs and hides.
End
Point: After getting slashed by the panther, he seeks shelter in a car,
nearly out of his mind and later prevents Kellie from opening the door for
Ethan, who’s being chewed on by the cougar.
What
insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? He wasn’t
as smart as everyone thought.
</div><div>

</div>

A. What is their Character Profile? Kellie

Role:
Survivor / Innocent
Traits:
Smart, decent, kind, helpful, works for the family
Fears:
The big cats getting loose without Cole’s father there.
Wants/Needs:
Wants to feel safe and be happy working at this beautiful ranch hacienda.
Likability
/ Rooting factors: She’s an attractive woman in her early 30s. / She’s an
innocent.
How
they react under stress: Tough, matter of fact, smart
Relationship
with other characters: She works for the family and has to be hostess to
the frat boys.

B. What is their Character Journey for this story?

<div>
Character
Intro: Innocent / She’s working for a living.
Denial:
No, this can’t be happening.
Their
reaction at first horror: Oh, shit! Somebody help me!
Relation
to group after first horror: Trying to stay alive.
How
they fight back: Hiding, runs with help from Cole
End
Point: She gets into a car alive.
What
insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? People
who are smart and stay put until they have to move, often survive.
</div><div>

</div>

A. What is their Character Profile? Wesley

Role:
Innocent / Pledge
Traits:
Nice, popular kid, trying to position himself for success
Fears:
That he won’t make it into the fraternity
Wants/Needs:
To get into a good fraternity / The stability of being a member of a group
Likability
/ Rooting factors: Nice kid / He’s too nice to die.
How
they react under stress: He’s drunk and sleeps through the worst of it.
Relationship
with other characters: A pledge

B. What is their Character Journey for this story?

<div>
Character
Intro: He’s a pledge riding in Gary’s car
Denial:
It’s just a drinking game.
Their
reaction at first horror: Drink some more
Relation
to group after first horror: He’s passed out from drinking.
How
they fight back: Cole fights for him
End
Point: He survives
What
insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? This guy
can do something really stupid and still make it out alive. He must have
guardian angels.
</div><div>

</div>

A. What is their Character Profile? Benji

Role:
Sacrificial lamb
Traits:
Young, likeable, wants to be one of the frat boys
Fears:
Too young to have any fears
Wants/Needs:
Wants to be a frat boy / Needs to get into a good fraternity per his father
Likability
/ Rooting factors: Nice, but a little dim
How
they react under stress: Continues drinking and behaving stupidly
Relationship
with other characters: Trying too hard to be one of the guys

B. What is their Character Journey for this story?

<div>
Character
Intro: He’s riding in Cole’s car. Thinks he’s in the right place at the
right time.
Denial:
Doesn’t realize that too many drinks in an hour can kill him.
Their
reaction at first horror: Sadness
Relation
to group after first horror: He’s dead.
How
they fight back:
End
Point: After he vomits, he chokes on that and aspirates vomit, killing
him.
What
insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? We see that someone is willing to let
the big cats eat his body.
</div><div>

</div>

A. What is their Character Profile? Gary

Role:
Moral One
Traits:
Tries to do the right thing
Fears:
He won’t get into the fraternity by doing the right thing.
Wants/Needs:
Wants to be one of the guys / Needs to follow common sense
Likability
/ Rooting factors: He’s an average, likeable guy. / He went back to the
ranch and may be able to save those idiots.
How
they react under stress: He’s courageous
Relationship
with other characters: They really don’t know him.

B. What is their Character Journey for this story?

Character
Intro: He’s a driver heading to the ranch with another pledge, Wesley.
Denial:
That the other pledges could get into trouble with a drinking “game”
Their
reaction at first horror: What have I gotten myself into?
Relation
to group after first horror: I’ve got to help these idiots.
How
they fight back: He distracts the cats.
End
Point: Gary tries to help Ethan and gets his head bitten off by the
panther.
What
insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? Nothing
can save these morons.

[Jalynn Venis]

Jalynn’s Monster Reveal Track

What I learned doing this assignment is that my big cat “monsters” were obvious, and so was my human psychopathic “monster.” I decided that the human monster need to act more subtly and be revealed slowly, so that he wasn’t obvious from so early in the screenplay.

Wildcats Outline

Wildcats Concept: Fraternity brothers play a drinking game with deadly results at the ranch estate of one of them. A frat brother entices the family’s big cats to eat the evidence of a dead pledge and when the cats get loose in the house, everyone is “game” and a hidden psychopath emerges.

Act 1 – Set-Up for Horror

Atmosphere
of Evil established

Three cars (a BMW, Mazda Miata, Ford Explorer) speed down a lonely road toward a country estate under a full moon. Cole, whose family owns the ranch, has three fraternity brothers in his car, plus a pledge; Ethan has one frat brother; and Wesley, a pledge, has another pledge with him.

The cars pull up to a ranch estate out in the middle of the countryside. The guys get out of the cars and walk along the big cat cages that lead into their wing inside the house. The cats growl. The panther puts his head against the bars, and Cole reaches out to give his head a scratch. He warns the others not to touch the cats, but Ethan tells a pledge it’s OK to pet the cougar. When Benji does, the cougar screams at him and scratches his hand with a claw before he can pull it away.

Connect
with the characters

The characters’ share stories about Cole’s “cats” as they drive up to the ranch estate.

The
characters are warned not to do it.

The guys are told repeatedly to avoid eye contact with the cats and not to pet them.

Denial
of Horror

Cole assures the guys they’re safe around the cats if they do what he says.

Safety
taken away

The pledges participate in a hazing drinking game. One pledge, Gary, refuses and is told to leave. Ethan “spills” some alcohol into the cats’ water. It seems to affect them badly

HORROR SITUATION: 8-10 drinks in an hour are enough to cause death. Ethan and the other frat brothers start everyone on Jell-O shots, then get the pledges to see who can drink the most Tequila the fastest and be exempt from fraternity chores for the first month.

REACTION: Benji, the most gung-ho of the pledges, drinks way too much, and develops severe alcohol poisoning.

HORROR SITUATION: Benji gets very sick and goes to the bathroom to upchuck. When he comes out, he decides to go sit with the big cats to try to sober up.

REACTION: When the cats see Benji inside their suite in the house, they get very excited and start pacing. Benji watches them for a moment before his eyes roll back in his head as he has a seizure and starts choking. Benji dies on his own vomit. The cats react wildly.

HORROR SITUATION: Malcolm goes looking for Benji and finds him in the cat compound. REACTION: He tries to rouse Benji, but realizes that he’s dead.

HORROR SITUATION: The guys debate what to do about Benji and if they’re going to get in trouble for his death. MONSTER REVEAL: Creighton, Ethan, Malcolm and Axel agree that they need to get rid of Benji.

Cole worries about what his father will say. One of the frat bros goes back to the big cat compound where Benji’s body is. He gets an idea and pours tequila into the cats’ water. The cats drink it and grow loud and angry.

REACTION: The panther and the cougar stride out, sniff Benji’s body, and pounce on him, tearing into his flesh. They fight each other a bit, then go back to eating the body. The third cat growls and screams.

Monster:
The nature of the beast.

Someone decides to get rid of the evidence and releases the cats from their cages to eat Benji’s carcass.

HORROR SITUATION: Wesley, who stopped drinking long before Benji did, gets helped to the toilet by some of the guys to vomit.

REACTION: Cole realizes that Ethan, Creighton and Axel have gone too far in coaxing the pledges to binge drink. He’s starting to worry that they have bigger problems than the mess Wesley is making in the bathroom with his projectile vomiting.

Act 2 – The Point of No Return

Isolated
/ Trapped / Abducted

When Cole sees that the cats are loose, he freaks and tries to get the cats back into their cages, but they’ve developed a taste for human flesh and go after him. Cole escapes, but so do the big cats. The frat brothers are running from the cat compound through the house, trying to get away from them.

One
of us gets killed

Axel follows Ethan in running away from the cats. When it comes to one or both of them getting eaten, Ethan pushes Axel into the path of one of the cats.

HORROR SITUATION: The cougar walks into the kitchen where two frat brothers Ethan and Axel are trying to find weapons. They grab knives. The cougar leaps up on the kitchen island and growls at them, pacing around it.

REACTION: MONSTER REVEAL: Ethan throws his knife at the cat, but it bounces off. He turns and runs. The cat screams and lunges for Axel who can’t get away in time and mauls him. Cole runs into the kitchen and talks the cougar down with a broom, too late to save Axel’s life.

HORROR SITUATION: The cougar is running down a hallway on the second floor. He sees one of the boys, Creighton, and goes for him.

REACTION: The frat boy climbs up on the railing of the overlook down into the family room. He sees a large light fixture and jumps for it. The cat stands up on the railing makes ready to jump after him. The boy lets go as the fixture starts to come loose from the ceiling and falls onto a couch. The cougar jumps to the light fixture. The boy leaps off the couch and runs as the whole fixture falls with the cat to the floor.

HORROR SITUATION: Ethan is hiding in a closet. The panther approaches and smells him. He sniffs all around the door. Finally, he rakes his claws down the door trying to open it.

REACTION: Ethan is holding onto the door handle like his life depends on it. He manages to keep the door closed until the panther gets distracted and moves on.

MIDPOINT – The Monster is Worse Than We Thought

Full
pursuit by the killer

When the guys realize that Cole can’t control the cats or get them back into their cages, they’re each on their own to avoid the cats as they prowl about the house and the frat brothers get separated from each other.

Terrorized

Cole is horrified that the cats have turned on him and tries to get them back in their cages unsuccessfully. He realizes he has to shoot them. He runs to his father’s study and gets a gun.

HORROR SITUATION: MONSTER REVEAL: Ethan finds Cole and tells him he needs to get guns and kill these cats before they kill the frat brothers. Cole is conflicted. These are family pets in his mind, but he realizes there’s no other choice.

REACTION: Cole heads to his father’s study with Ethan behind him. Cole pulls a rifle out of a gun case and grabs a holster with a pistol. Ethan picks a pistol and a sword off the wall. They load the guns with ammo.

HORROR SITUATION: Kellie, the housekeeper, is asleep in her bed when she’s awakened by a scratching at the door. She looks down at the light under the door and sees a big black paw raking the carpet under the door. She looks at the door handle? Is it latched? Before she can get out of bed, the panther throws his weight against the door and pushes it open.

REACTION: Kellie screams and the panther sees her and jumps up on the bed straddling her and pinning her down with fear. Cole sees the panther going into her room and races down the hall to her. He picks up a desk chair and pushes the cat off the bed and into her bathroom and closes the door.

HORROR SITUATION: The panther in Kellie’s bathroom breaks through a window and gets outdoors on a section of roof.

REACTION: The big cat walks around to a balcony, jumps onto it, and paws open a sliding glass door that’s ajar. He listens to the screams inside the house and trots off.

HORROR SITUATION: Another frat brother, Phillip, is hiding in a shower stall and holding the door closed. The panther comes in. The panther sniffs the air, and looks around but sees no one. He walks up to the shower and tries to push open the door.

REACTION: The boy holds it tight, but the cat jumps up onto a cabinet and stands up against the shower enclosure, looking down into the shower at the boy. He growls as Phillip screams at him. The boy turns on the shower and directs the head at the panther’s face. It doesn’t like that. The frat boys pound on the door and distract the panther, but the cat jumps into the shower enclosure with Phillip and mauls him, breaking the glass around the enclosure. Phillip grabs a shard and rams it into the panther’s neck and it runs off.

HORROR SITUATION: Malcolm on the second floor has found a whip and when he turns a corner trying to find the others, he runs into the cougar. He cracks the whip and spooks the cat for a few moments.

REACTION: Malcolm thinks he has the upper hand and tries to back away, but the cat follows him. He cracks the whip again, but this time the cat keeps coming at him. Malcolm gets to the stairway leading downstairs and runs down to a landing then trips and tumbles down the rest of the steps. The cougar follows after him and the panther pounces on him when he gets to the bottom. He screams hoping help will come.

HORROR SITUATION: Cole and Ethan are looking for the cats with their guns ready. The panther is chewing on Malcolm who is being eaten alive. When the cougar sees Cole, he leaps for him.

REACTION: Cole tries to react quickly enough to get a shot off. But the cougar is on him before he can. MONSTER REVEAL: Ethan takes the sword and rams it into the cougar’s side. The cat screams and runs off. Ethan helps Cole up as the panther stares at them.

HORROR SITUATION: Gary, the pledge who wouldn’t drink, doesn’t feel right about leaving the ranch. He turns his car around and drives back. He parks the car and walks in through the front door when he hears screaming.

REACTION: Gary sees the panther chewing on Malcolm and shouts then turns and runs leaving the door wide open. He scrambles up on the wired and barred cat enclosure and watches the cougar as it runs out the door looking for him.

HORROR SITUATION: Cole yells for everyone to get out of the house if they can.

REACTION: Ethan scrambles into the cat wing to see what’s left of Benji. To his chagrin, there’s still a lot of pieces left. Then he notices the cheetah is missing. Where did it go?

HORROR SITUATION: The cheetah is moving through a caged enclosure that takes it from inside the house in the cat wing to the outdoor enclosure. When it reaches the outdoors, it sees Gary sitting on top of its enclosure watching for the cougar.

REACTION: The cheetah runs toward Gary and jumps up in the air trying to get a bite of him. This scares Gary into falling off of the enclosure. He gets up just as Cole and Ethan are hauling Malcolm out of the house.

Act 3 – Full Out Horror

Fight
to the death

One-by-one, the other guys keep getting picked off by the cats and/or hiding from them.

The
thrilling escape from death

Cole and Ethan fight off the cougar and rescue Malcolm who later dies.

HORROR SITUATION: Cole and Ethan haul Malcolm out of the house and away from the entrance. Cole goes back in for Kellie and anyone else who’s still alive and pulls her out.

He gets Kellie into his Explorer. He sees Gary and tells him to get back inside his car. Then he goes back in for anyone else he can find.

REACTION: Kellie watches as Ethan tries to get Malcolm over to his car with Cole’s help. They get him inside the back seat. Cole tells Ethan he’s going back inside to look for others.

HORROR SITUATION: Ethan is walking around to the driver’s seat of his car. That’s the moment the panther jumps on top of the car, staring Ethan down.

REACTION: Ethan backs away and bumps into Cole’s Explorer. He asks Kellie to unlock the doors so he can get inside. Kellie scrambles to unlock the doors, but not before the panther jumps on Ethan and starts shredding him. The cat takes part of Ethan’s leg.

HORROR SITUATION: A badly mauled Phillip rises up from the back seat floorboard of Cole’s Explorer scaring Kellie out of her wits and telling Kellie not to open the car.

REACTION: Kellie pushes him away telling Phillip they’ve got to help the others. Phillip is almost out of his mind with fear and prevents Kellie from opening the doors for Ethan.

Horror Situation: Gary tries to help Ethan, but is attacked by the cougar who bites his head off. Ethan now has a chance to get into his BMW.

Reaction: Gary was foolish, and now Gary is dead.

HORROR SITUATION: Wesley is passed out on a guest bed after drinking so much. Cole finds him and carries him out with the rifle slung across his back. He stops to rest near the front door and yells for anyone else inside to help him. Creighton comes out of the library and grabs Wesley under one arm as Cole takes the other. They look towards the front door to see the cougar standing there eyeing them.

REACTION: Cole tells Creighton to carry Wesley while he reaches for the rifle. The cougar charges them and all Cole can do is whip the rifle butt around and hit the cougar in the head. It gets a paw on him and rakes his chest. Cole pulls a pistol out of his holster and shoots the cougar who bounds away.

Death
returns to take one or more.

The panther tears part of Ethan’s leg off, as he struggles to get into a car. Cole comes upon him and fights off the panther.

Resolution

Cole comes face-to-face with his pet panther, who he wounded earlier. He’s conflicted about shooting it, but it gives him no choice when it leaps at him. He shoots, the cat mauls him, but dies. The ordeal is over, or so we think.

HORROR SITUATION: The panther is mauling Ethan, kills Gary who tries to help when Cole comes back outside. When the panther turns on Cole, he has to shoot it with his pistol several times to kill it.

REACTION; Finally, his beloved panther is dead and the cougar appears and tears into the dead panther, then sees Cole and takes a last run at him. Cole puts bullets into his pistol just in the nick of time to shoot the cougar in the head. It falls inches from him and reaches a paw out to him with a sad cry. Cole cries over their deaths and this whole fiasco.

First responders arrive and gather up the dead and wounded. They wrap Ethan’s leg and wounds on his face. He’s lost a lot of blood and they don’t expect him to survive. Cole goes back to the indoor cat cages. He sees that the cheetah’s cage has been opened by someone, and the cat is gone.

MONSTER REVEAL: Inside the ambulance, Ethan’s eyes open in his bloody, bandaged face and he smiles.

[Jalynn Venis]

1. Jalynn’s Character Death Track

What I learned doing this assignment is that it helps to know why someone deserves to die in a script or live to terrorize another day.

Characters:

Cole – Fraternity Bro

Ethan – Frat Bro

Axel – Frat Bro

Creighton – Frat Bro

Malcolm – Frat Bro

Phillip – Frat Bro

Kellie – Housekeeper

Gary – Pledge

Benji – Pledge

Wesley – Pledge

Monster/Ethan:

Kills by pushing people or animals too far for the excitement/fun of it.

Monster/ Cats:

Kill by mauling

Going for the throat

Ripping off an arm or leg

Eating a person live

Character Death 1: Benji, Pledge

Why: He drank too much too fast and got alcohol poisoning.

How: This caused him to have a seizure and choke to death on the vomit.

Character Death 2: Axel, Frat Bro

Why: He followed Ethan, a sociopath and sadist, in everything. While trying to save themselves and finding knives in the kitchen, a big cat found them.

How: Ethan threw a knife at the cat and ran, leaving Axel to face the cat alone. The cat won when he chased Axel around the kitchen island and was faster than Axel. He ripped Axel’s arm off and Axel bled out.

Character Death 3: Malcolm, Frat Bro

Why: Malcolm thought he could scare a cat away with a whip. He was wrong.

How: Two cats chassed him at once, and one got him and started eating him live.

Character Death 4: Phillip, Frat Bro

Why: Tries to hide in a shower stall with a door. The panther outsmarts him.

How: The panther jumps into the shower, slashing Phillip from head to toe.

Character Death 5: Gary, Pledge

Why: Gary got away, but then went back to the scene of the kills. He could have saved himself if he’d allowed common sense to protect him, but he wanted to be a part of the fraternity too much. He decided saving a frat bro would gain him entrance into the fraternity.

How: He tried to distract a panther from killing Ethan. And he did, but the cat bit his head off for it.

[Jalynn Venis]

Jalynn’s Horror Situation Track

What I learned doing this is that every horror situation I came up with quickly offered multiple reactions that I could choose from to happen to the characters. These in turn moved the story forward to its horrifying conclusion.

Wildcats Concept: Fraternity brothers play a drinking game with deadly results at the ranch estate of one of them. A frat brother entices the family’s big cats to eat the evidence of a dead pledge and when the cats get loose in the house, everyone is “game.”

Act 1 – Set-Up for Horror

Atmosphere
of Evil established

Three cars (a BMW, Mazda Miata, Ford Explorer) speed down a lonely road toward a country estate under a full moon. Cole, whose family owns the ranch, has three fraternity brothers in his car, plus a pledge; Ethan has one frat brother; and Wesley, a pledge, has another pledge with him.

The cars pull up to a ranch estate out in the middle of the countryside. The guys get out of the cars and walk along the big cat cages that lead into their wing inside the house. The cats growl. The panther puts his head against the bars, and Cole reaches out to give his head a scratch. He warns the others not to touch the cats, but Ethan tells a pledge it’s OK to pet the cougar. When Benji does, the cougar screams at him and scratches his hand with a claw before he can pull it away.

Connect
with the characters

The characters’ share stories about Cole’s “cats” as they drive up to the ranch estate.

The
characters are warned not to do it.

The guys are told repeatedly to avoid eye contact with the cats and not to pet them.

Denial
of Horror

Cole assures the guys they’re safe around the cats if they do what he says.

Safety
taken away

The pledges participate in a hazing drinking game. One pledge, Gary, refuses and is told to leave. Ethan “spills” some alcohol into the cats’ water. It seems to affect them badly

HORROR SITUATION: 8-10 drinks in an hour are enough to cause death. Ethan and the other frat brothers start everyone on Jell-O shots, then get the pledges to see who can drink the most Tequila the fastest and be exempt from fraternity chores for the first month.

REACTION: Benji, the most gung-ho of the pledges, drinks way too much, and develops severe alcohol poisoning.

HORROR SITUATION: Benji gets very sick and goes to the bathroom to upchuck. When he comes out, he decides to go sit with the big cats to try to sober up.

REACTION: When the cats see Benji inside their suite in the house, they get very excited and start pacing. Benji watches them for a moment before his eyes roll back in his head as he has a seizure and starts choking. Benji dies on his own vomit. The cats react wildly.

HORROR SITUATION: Malcolm goes looking for Benji and finds him in the cat compound. REACTION: He tries to rouse Benji, but realizes that he’s dead.

HORROR SITUATION: The guys debate what to do about Benji and if they’re going to get in trouble for his death. Cole worries about what his father will say. Ethan walks away from them and goes back to the big cat compound where Benji’s body is. He gets an idea and pours tequila into the cats’ water. The cats drink it and grow loud and angry. He goes out of the cat compound to a control panel and opens the doors of two of the cages.

REACTION: The panther and the cougar stride out, sniff Benji’s body, and pounce on him, tearing into his flesh. They fight each other a bit, then go back to eating the body. The third cat growls and screams.

Monster:
The nature of the beast.

Ethan decides to get rid of the evidence and releases the panther from its cage to eat the pledge Benji’s carcass. Then he realizes that a whole human is too much for one cat, so he lets the cougar out of its cage to help eat the pledge.

The cats fight over the food and tear into the body of Benji.

HORROR SITUATION: Wesley, who stopped drinking long before Benji did, gets helped to the toilet by some of the guys to vomit.

REACTION: Cole realizes that Ethan, Creighton and Kit have gone too far in coaxing the pledges to binge drink. He’s starting to worry that they may have bigger problems than the mess Wesley is making in the bathroom with his projectile vomiting.

Act 2 – The Point of No Return

Isolated
/ Trapped / Abducted

When Cole sees what Ethan has done, he freaks and tries to get the cats back in their cages, but they’ve developed a taste for human flesh and go after him. Cole escapes, but so do the big cats. The frat brothers are running from the cat compound through the house, trying to get away from them.

One
of us gets killed

Kit, following Ethan’s lead in feeding Benji to the cats, runs away from the cats with Ethan. When it comes to one or both of them getting eaten, Ethan pushes Kit into the path of one of the cats.

HORROR SITUATION: The cougar walks into the kitchen where two frat brothers Ethan and Kit are trying to find weapons. They grab knives. The cougar leaps up on the kitchen island and growls at them.

REACTION: Ethan throws his knife at the cat, but it bounces off. He turns and runs. The cat screams and lunges for Kit who can’t get away in time and mauls him. Cole runs into the kitchen and talks the cougar down with a broom.

HORROR SITUATION: The cougar is running down a hallway on the second floor. He sees one of the boys, Creighton, and goes for him.

REACTION: The frat boy climbs up on the railing of the overlook down into the family room. He sees a large light fixture and jumps for it. The cat stands up on the railing makes ready to jump after him. The boy lets go as the fixture starts to come loose from the ceiling and falls onto a couch. The cougar jumps to the light fixture. The boy leaps off the couch and runs as the whole fixture falls with the cat to the floor.

HORROR SITUATION: Ethan is hiding in a closet. The panther approaches and smells him. He sniffs all around the door. Finally, he rakes his claws down the door trying to open it.

REACTION: Ethan is holding onto the door handle like his life depends on it. He manages to keep the door closed until the panther gets distracted and moves on.

MIDPOINT – The Monster is Worse Than We Thought

Full
pursuit by the killer

When the guys realize that Cole can’t control the cats or get them back into their cages, they’re each on their own to avoid the cats as they prowl about the house and the frat brothers get separated from each other.

Terrorized

Cole is horrified that the cats have turned on him and tries to get them back in their cages unsuccessfully. He realizes he has to shoot them. He runs to his father’s study and gets a gun.

HORROR SITUATION: Ethan finds Cole and tells him he needs to get guns and kill these cats before they kill the frat brothers. Cole is conflicted. These are family pets in his mind, but he realizes there’s no other choice.

REACTION: Cole heads to his father’s study with Ethan behind him. Cole pulls a rifle out of a gun case and grabs a holster with a pistol. Ethan picks a pistol and a sword off the wall. They load the guns with ammo.

HORROR SITUATION: Kellie, the housekeeper, is asleep in her bed when she’s awakened by a scratching at the door. She looks down at the light under the door and sees a big black paw raking the carpet under it. She looks at the door handle? Is it latched? Before she can get out of bed, the panther throws his weight against the door and pushes it open.

REACTION: Kellie screams and the panther sees her and jumps up on the bed straddling her and pinning her down with fear. Cole sees the panther going into her room and races down the hall to her. He picks up a desk chair and pushes the cat off the bed and into her bathroom and closes the door.

HORROR SITUATION: The panther in Kellie’s bathroom breaks through a window and gets outdoors on a section of roof.

REACTION: The big cat walks around to a balcony, jumps onto it, and paws open a sliding glass door that’s ajar. He listens to the screams inside the house and trots off.

HORROR SITUATION: Another frat brother, Phillip, is hiding in a shower stall and holding the door closed. The panther comes in. The panther sniffs the air, and looks around but sees no one. He walks up to the shower and tries to push open the door.

REACTION: The boy holds it tight, but the cat jumps up onto a cabinet and stands up, looking down into the shower at the boy. He growls as Phillip screams at him. The boy turns on the shower and directs the head at the panther’s face. It doesn’t like that. The frat boys pound on the door and distract the panther.

HORROR SITUATION: Malcolm on the second floor has found a whip and when he turns a corner trying to find the others, he runs into the cougar. He cracks the whip and spooks the cat for a few moments.

REACTION: Malcolm thinks he has the upper hand and tries to back away, but the cat follows him. He cracks the whip again, but this time the cat keeps coming at him. Malcolm gets to the stairway leading downstairs and runs down it to a landing then trips and tumbles down the rest of the steps. The cougar follows after him and the panther pounces on him when he gets to the bottom. He screams hoping help will come.

HORROR SITUATION: Cole and Ethan are looking for the cats with their guns ready. The panther is chewing on Malcolm who is dead by now. When the cougar sees Cole, he leaps for him.

REACTION: Cole tries to react quickly enough to get a shot off. But the cougar is on him before he can. Ethan takes the sword and rams it into the cougar’s side. The cat screams and runs off. Ethan helps Cole up as the panther stares at them.

HORROR SITUATION: Gary, the pledge who wouldn’t drink, doesn’t feel right about leaving the ranch. He turns his car around and drives back. He parks the car and walks in through the front door when he hears screaming.

REACTION: Gary sees the panther chewing on Malcolm and shouts then turns and runs leaving the door wide open. He scrambles up on the wired and barred cat enclosure and watches the cougar as it runs out the door looking for him.

HORROR SITUATION: Cole yells for everyone to get out of the house if they can.

REACTION: Ethan scrambles into the cat wing to see what’s left of Benji. To his chagrin, there’s still a lot of pieces left. He thinks it’s OK, since the cats have torn into the others. Then he notices the cheetah is missing. Where did it go?

HORROR SITUATION: The cheetah is moving through a caged enclosure that takes it from inside the house in the cat wing to the outdoor enclosure. When it reaches the outdoors, it sees Gary sitting on top of its enclosure watching for the cougar.

REACTION: The cheetah runs toward Gary and jumps up in the air trying to get a bite of him. This scares Gary into falling off of the enclosure.

Act 3 – Full Out Horror

Fight
to the death

One-by-one, the other guys keep getting picked off by the cats and/or hiding from them.

The
thrilling escape from death

Cole and Ethan fight off the cougar and rescue Malcolm who later dies.

HORROR SITUATION: Cole and Ethan haul Malcolm out of the house and away from the entrance. Cole goes back in for Kellie and anyone else who’s still alive and pulls her out.

He gets Kellie into his Explorer. He sees Gary and tells him to get back into his car. Then he goes back in for anyone else he can find.

REACTION: Kellie watches as Ethan tries to get Malcolm over to his car with Cole’s help. They get him inside the back seat. Cole tells Ethan he’s going back inside to look for others.

HORROR SITUATION: Ethan is walking around to the driver’s seat of his car. That’s the moment the panther jumps on top of the car, staring Ethan down.

REACTION: Ethan backs away and bumps into Cole’s Explorer. He asks Kellie to unlock the doors so he can get inside. Kellie scrambles to unlock the doors, but not before the panther jumps on Ethan and starts shredding him. The cat takes part of Ethan’s leg.

HORROR SITUATION: Wesley is passed out on a guest bed after drinking so much. Cole finds him and carries him out with the rifle slung across his back. He stops to rest near the front door and yells for anyone else inside to help him. Phillip comes out of the library and grabs Wesley under one arm as Cole takes the other. They look towards the front door to see the cougar standing there eyeing them.

REACTION: Cole tells Phillip to carry Wesley while he reaches for the rifle. The cougar charges them and all Cole can do is whip the rifle butt around and hit the cougar in the head. It gets a paw on him and rakes his chest. Cole pulls a pistol out of his holster and shoots the cougar who bounds away.

HORROR SITUATION: Creighton rises up from the back seat floorboard of Cole’s Explorer scaring Kellie out of her wits and telling Kellie not to open the car.

REACTION: Kellie pushes him away telling Creighton they’ve got to help the others. Creighton is almost out of his mind with fear and prevents Kellie from opening the doors for Ethan.

Death
returns to take one or more.

The panther tears part of Ethan’s leg off, as he struggles to get into a car. Cole comes upon him and fights off the panther.

Resolution

Cole comes face-to-face with his pet panther, who he wounded earlier. He’s conflicted about shooting it, but it gives him no choice when it leaps at him. He shoots, the cat mauls him, but dies. The ordeal is over, or so we think.

First responders arrive and gather up the dead and wounded. They wrap Ethan’s leg and wounds on his face. He’s lost a lot of blood and they don’t expect him to survive. Cole goes back to the indoor cat cages. He sees that the cheetah’s cage has been opened by someone, and the cat is gone.

Inside the ambulance, Ethan’s eyes open in his bloody, bandaged face and he smiles slightly.

[Jalynn Venis]

3. Jalynn’s Characters for Horror

What I learned doing this assignment is that I needed more characters than I first thought to make the concept work.

1. Concept/Group

Concept: Fraternity brothers play a drinking game with deadly results at the family estate of one of them and get the family’s big cats to eat the evidence of the “dead pledge.” When the cats get loose inside the house, everyone is “game.”

Group: Social Group

2. Dying Pattern: Put several people together and kill them one-by-one.

3. Rescuer – Cole’s family owns the country estate where the frat boys gathered to haze their pledges. He’s basically a good young man, but wanted to impress the others by showing off the big cats. Then things went out of control with the drinking started.

Moral One – Gary, a pledge, doesn’t want to drink and only drinks a little. Since he refuses to drink a whole bottle of whiskey on his own, the fraternity releases him as a pledge and tells him to get in his car and leave.

Sacrificial Lamb – Benji, another pledge, goes along with the drinking game and drinks so much he gets alcohol poisoning and dies.

Innocent – Another pledge, Wesley, drinks a whole bottle of whiskey and also gets alcohol poisoning, getting very ill.

Rebel/Rule Breaker – Ethan is frat boy who likes to break rules and push people to their limits. He’s a sociopath and a sadist.

Monster Bait – Kit is a fraternity brother and always follows anything Ethan says.

Out-of-Control/Obnoxious – Creighton is a frat boy who had a hard hazing when he pledged and wants to make sure all of the other pledges earn their position in the group.

Monster Bait – Malcolm is another frat boy who laughs off everything, until one pledge dies.

Monster Bait – Phillip is frat brother who has a conscience and gets very scared when the remaining pledges get alcohol poisoning.

Innocent – Kellie, the housekeeper (25) watches the group knowing something bad is about to happen.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by  Jalynn Venis. Reason: Thought of another character I wanted in the story

[Jalynn Venis]

2. Terrifying Monster

What I learned doing this assignment is that the monster is a true character and needs to have more depth than a two-dimensional secondary character. In fact, the more depth you can imbue the monster with, the better.

The obvious monsters in my story are the big wildcats. However the hidden monster is the psychopath fraternity brother who incites the cats to violence. The answers below refer to the psychopath.

<div>
Their
Terror: He terrorizes by insisting people do his bidding as their superior;
he eggs people on to do stupid and/or dangerous things past their better
judgement in service to his ego or amusement; and he belittles and bullies
those who don’t go along with his misadventures. He also does these
sadistic things under the guise of fraternity hazing of pledges.
</div><div>

Their
Mystery: How does Ethan, the psychopathic frat boy, get away with harming
so many people in ways they can’t anticipate or evade? He is insidious,
mean, vengeful, angry, sadistic, and able to work in underhanded and
unseen ways to accomplish his eternal mischief.

Their
Fear Provoking Appearance: The frat boy Ethan has a rubbery face that
looks like a caricature of a frat boy. He often wears a menacing grin.

Their
Rules: Ethan believes he is a superior human and will always come out on
top. To achieve that end, he does as many dirty things as he can get away
with to elevate himself and demean others.

Their
Mythology: As a small child, Ethan’s father died. His mother remarried a
psychopath who beat him, molested him, and tortured him by locking him in
closets, sheds, and horrible places where disgusting things happened to him.

</div>

[Jalynn Venis]

Horror Conventions

What I learned doing this assignment is that horror writers are very familiar with horror conventions and appear to make an effort to put as many of these into their stories as possible.

<div>
Dreams
in the Witch House / Concept: A 19^th Century spiritualist tries
to connect with his deceased twin sister with catastrophic results.
</div><div>

Terrorize
The Characters: The writer used the fears of the dark, the unknown, pain
and death, along with a scary witch and disgusting rodent with a human
head.

Isolation:
The man takes a room in a “witch’s house” because he thinks he’ll likely
experience something other-worldly there.

Death:
He fears the dead witch that he sees in his dreams is trying to take his
life.

Monster/Villain:
The monster is the witch who appears to him and wants his life to
reanimate her own, and the true villain is her familiar, a monkey with a
human face who kills the man after the witch is killed by his sister.

High
Tension: The puzzles included how to get to another plane of existence to
connect with his dead sister, using an unknown drug to induce an altered
state, contending with a witch chasing him around his room and into the
death forest vortex where his sister went after dying unexpectedly.

Departure
from Reality: When the witch appears outside of her house, follows him
into the death forest where he looks for his sister, and later to a church
where he’s hiding. There the witch throws open the church’s door and drags
him across the pews and back to her house. His sister reappears there in
time to prevent the witch from killing him and destroys the witch. After
that, she tells her brother she’s not afraid to leave the earth plane
anymore and to let her go.

Moral
Statement: The dead should stay dead. Don’t attempt to bring them back to
life. Drugs kill (ultimately).

</div>

Jalynn’s Story

Concept 1: Wildcat

Monster/Villain: 3 Big Cats (Cougar, Black Panther, Cheetah)

Terror: The Big Cats are pets that get loose when a group of Frat boys decide to play a drinking game and it spills over into the cats’ water bowl.

Environment: An oilman’s ranch in Wyoming

Victims: Some of the Frat boys and an innocent housekeeper

Fears: Fear of creatures, fear of the unknown, fear of darkness, fear that something terrible will happen, fear of pain, fear of death.

Conventions

<div>
Concept:
Fraternity brothers play a drinking game with deadly results at the family
estate of one of them and get the family’s big cats to eat the evidence of
the “dead pledge.”
</div><div>

Terrorize
The Characters: After the cats are given alcohol while loose in the house,
they react badly and start attacking the frat boys. The boys try to get
away from the maneaters and sacrifice each other in some cases. Fear of
the unknown, fear of death, fear of the unseen, fear of being stalked,
fear of pain, fear of torture, fear that something terrible will happen, fear
of creatures.

</div><div>

Isolation:
The group of boys is spending a weekend at an oilman’s estate where he has
big cats as pets. His son is one of the frat boys.

Death:
Each frat boy is afraid they’ll be the next victim of the cats, and most
of them do die.

Monster/Villain:
The cats look like monsters, but the real villain is the boy who forced
the pledges to drink until they had alcohol poisoning and one died. He’s
also the one who suggested they feed the dead kid to the cats and gave
them their first taste of man-meat.

High
Tension: Scenes with each of the cats stalking and killing the boys, each
kill more gruesome; scenes where the son of the ranch owner is trying to
trap the cats and get them back in their cages.

Departure
from Reality: The last kid to get killed is the boy who started this whole
deadly weekend. His death, seen from his POV, while the cats devour him,
is the most horrible.

Moral
Statement: It’s not all right to force someone to do something that goes
against their will or moral values, and it’s especially not OK to bend
someone to your crazy-assed twisted will while others stand by and watch,
allowing it to happen and making them all complicit in the crime.

</div>

[Jalynn Venis]

Hello All,

I’m Jalynn Venis (Juh’lyn Venice) and have written 10+ feature screenplays in the genres of drama, thriller, action-adventure, sci-fi, ghost story, and contemporary western.

My background is that of a writer and producer in broadcast, non-fiction television and corporate communications and an author of fiction and non-fiction books.

I want to learn more about the horror genre and its techniques for creating heightened tension and terror in my stories.

Something unusual about me? I’ve lived in four haunted houses and survived a few terrors myself.

[Jalynn Venis]

Jalynn Venis — I agree with the terms of this release form.

[Jalynn Venis]

Thanks, Rita! Helpful comments. I appreciate your time!

Jalynn

[Jalynn Venis]

Ian:

I was not familiar with The Rider. Thanks for telling me about this. It’s a great resource!

Cheers!

Jalynn

[Jalynn Venis]

Thanks, Ian! Appreciate the comments. Hunter’s ex-con father accidentally kills his mother when the father pushes her into a piece of heavy furniture. I’ll make sure to clarify this.

Cheers!

Jalynn

[Jalynn Venis]

Ian Patrick Williams,

This reads like a great concept with all the right hooks. Nothing jumps out that needs changing. Only suggestion is you might shorten your bio just a tad, just enough to abbreviate some of that info — which is truly impressive!

Jalynn