[James Clark]

Jim Clark’s Lesson 27 The Profound story map

What I learned is that there are multiple ways to look at a story to see if the structure fits and the story is cohereht.

TITLE: Happy Hearts
WRITTEN BY: James E. Clark

What is Your Profound Truth?

Family ties are organic and overseen by God.

What is the Transformational Journey?
Old Ways: Being alone in life.
Karen focuses on manipulating people to get her way. Margie has no immediate family and has
happy memories of her married life, but is alone. Ruth wants something different in her
life.
Journey:

Transformational Logline: An entitled Adult Protective Services bureaucrat, Karen, has a plan to abuse her authority and put wealthy individuals into the system so she can make positive impression on her boss and get faster promotions to help payoff her student loans.

Transformable Character with an issue…

Issue: Karen thinks she’s entitled and untouchable

Takes a journey that challenges them deeply…

Karen targets an 85 year old wealthy widow who has all of her faculties

And is well know in the community and is able to fend off Karen’s manipulations.

.and concludes with the transformation.

The Widow, Margie, toys with Karen through the Chief of Police and the health care system. Karen loses her job, hits rock bottom and reverts back to her childhood biblical training realizing she has been wrong the whole time. She begins her steps back to treating others with respect.

Who are Your Lead Characters?
Change Agent (the one causing the change): Margie/Ruth
Transformable Character(s) (the one who makes the change): Karen
Betraying Character (if you have one): Maureen
Oppression: Will Clifton & Ruth fall in love.

Old Ways

Karen: Manipulative and egotistical

Ruth: Misses her deceased husband

Margie: No immediate family

Clifton: Can’t get past his PTSD

New Ways: Karen wants a family to rely upon, Margie has a family to love and Ruth finds herself with new additions to her own family and is the matriarch.

How Do You Connect With Your Audience in the Beginning of the Movie?

A. Relatability – They Are Us!

Ruth: As a retiree, Ruth is going to spend her winter in Palm Springs rather than Michigan

Margie: Has wonderful memories of herself with her husband and still runs the family business.

Karen: Snotty, rude and self serving

Clifton: Just a nice guy who lives in the RV park and does maintenance.

B. Intrigue

Ruth: She’s contemplating trying to find out about her birth father who worked in Hollywood.

Margie: Why does she not have family to rely on?

Karen: What makes her so indignant?

Clifton: Why is he standoffish around women?

C. Empathy

Ruth: She’s widowed and a long way from home

Margie: No immediate family

Karen: Grew up in foster care

Clifton: Wife divorced him

D. Likability

Ruth: She’s a nurse and cares for people

Margie: Confident and stands up for herself

Karen: She knows she’s been doing the wrong thing and admits it

Clifton: He opens up his feelings with Ruth

What is the Gradient of the Change?

What steps do the Transformational Characters go through as they are changing?

Gradient 1. The Emotional Gradient

A. The “Forced Change” Emotional Gradient ( Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.)

Ruth has to decide if she wants to know about her birth father

Denial: She’ll never remarry

Bargaining: She decides to visit Hollywood

Acceptance: She incorporates Margie, Karen and Clifton into her family.

Margie is faced with accepting new people into her life

Denial: She never had children

Anger: Karen is trying to put her into a secured facility

Bargaining: Ruth may be her step daughter

Acceptance: She has a family after all

Karen: is faced with the impact of her self serving decisions

Clifton: Faces his life without love until he meets Ruth

B. The “Desired Change” Emotional Gradient

Excitement, Doubt, Hope, Discouragement, Courage, Triumph…or Loss.

Gradient 2. The Action Gradient

RUTH

Setup: Ruth is going to spend the winter in Palm Springs (snow birding) playing golf and checking out SoCal

Journey: Ruth makes friends in the RV park. She toys with trying to find out about her birth father.

Payoff: Ruth discovers that Margie is her step mother and they bond. Margie leaves her estate to Ruth. Clifton and Ruth fall in love and marry.

MARGIE

Setup: Margie has great memories of her life with Walter. She is the CEO of a multimillion dollar real estate and film empire.

Journey: Margie has cardiac issues. She has to deal with the fact that Walter had a daughter he was unaware of. Margie was unable to have children, so she decides to have Ruth as her daughter.

Payoff: Margie now has a daughter, grandkidlets and great grandkidlets. She has someone to will her estate to.

KAREN:

Setup: Karen is using her governmental authority to try and have Margie committed.

Journey: Karen has met her foe with Margie who is mentally sharp and well connected in Palm Springs. Karen loses her job with the County. She realizes her downfall and recommits her life to Jesus.

Payoff: Margie’s estate creates a non profit foundation. Karen is the CEO. Ruth and Clifton sit on the Board of Directors.

Gradient 3. The Challenge / Weakness Gradient

RUTH

Challenge: New environment

Weakness: Strange landscape, playing golf in the heat. Makes a new friend who’s an alcoholic.

Next Challenge: Will she find out about her birth father in Hollywood.

Next Weakness: She’s undecided about researching him.

MARGIE

Next Challenge: She may have a daughter

Next Weakness: She’s afraid that her wonderful memories will be obliterated

KAREN

Net Challenge: Karen has to change to be able to live a respectable life

Next Weakness:

What is the Transformational Structure of Your Story?

Mini-Movie 1 ­ Status Quo and Call to Adventure I know you’re looking…

Fade in on Ruth overlooking the Coachella Valley from I10 at Chiriaco Summit. Ruth is excited and happy to be on her own in a new environment and can’t wait to golf. Ruth manifests a unique female gift. She knows when men are watching her from behind. Ruth meets Clifton and sparks fly.

Margie has wonderful memoires of her life with Walter. The memories come in the form of the cars they owned over the decades. Each one was a white convertible with red leather interior ranging from a Ford up to a Bentley. Margie knows how to handle Karen and firmly kicks Karen out of her home. Margie meets Ruth when Margie feints and Ruth, being an RN comes to her aid. The have similar views of Karen.

Mini-Movie 2 ­ Locked Into Conflict

Ruth is falling for Clifton, but Maureen is jealous of Ruth.

Margie sic’s the PSPD on Karen. They stop her for traffic violations multiple times per week.

Clifton reveals he’s a retired Major General (army). Maureen , completely drunk, challenges Ruth at a Veteran’s Day event at the VFW.

Mini-Movie 3 — Hero Tries to Solve Problem ­ But Fails.

Ruth tries to communicate with Maureen, but finds that Maureen committed suicide on Thanksgiving Day.

Ruth tells Margie that Walter was her dad. Margie tells Ruth to leave.

Mini-Movie 4 ­ Hero Forms a Plan

Ruth & Clifton become a couple on Veteran’s Day at the VFW.

Ruth nur4ses Clifton through PTSD episode.

Margie decides that Ruth needs to know her roots and joins them at the RV park for Thanksgiving.

Mini-Movie 5 ­ Hero Retreats & Antagonist Wins

Karen is still getting tickets from PSPD

Mini-Movie 6 ­ Hero’s Bigger, Better Plan!

Karen loses her job with the county. She’s being charged with abusing Margie by using the power of the county but no the law. She has returned to her relationship with Christ and pleads guilty to the court.

Margie suggests to the judge that Karen needs to atone but no in jail. She will have to work helping elderly people at Chirriaco Vista RV Park and a nursing home.

Mini-Movie 7 ­ Crisis & Climax

Margie is dying from a heart condition. Ruth is broken hearted.

Margie’s estate goes to Ruth with funding for multiple charities. The estate establishes a non profit foundation and Karen is placed in charge.

Mini-Movie 8 ­ New Status Quo

The foundation is successful world wide. Ruth and Clifton are married. The movie ends with Karen in her wedding gown.

How are the “Old Ways” Challenged?

Waitress at Margie’s favorite coffee shop wants to know about Margie’s day dreaming.

A. Challenge through Questioning

#1

Donna

How was today’s parade?

Margie

Nice.

Donna

Does it ever change?

Margie

Why would it?

#2

Teddy leers as Ruth walks away.

Without turning around…

Ruth

Am I feeling your eyeballs, Mr. Collins?

#3

Clifton

Your plates say you’re from Michigan.

Ruth

Uh huh. You?

Clifton

Not really. My kids are there, but not me.

#4

Margie is surprised to see Karen at her front door. She assesses and responds.

Margie

Miss Halverson. You’re here because?

Karen

I’m following up on my previous visit. May I come in?

Before Margie can respond, Karen steps through the door, brushing past Margie. Margie turns to face Karen.

Margie

You may not. You may leave. You are a rude young lady aren’t you?

What beliefs are challenged that cause a main character to shift their perspective…and make the change?

B. Challenge by Counterexample

Margie is a wealthy business woman/ Ruth is a farmer and an RN

Ruth has a heart for caregiving/Clifton is broken by combat and a failed marriage.

Karen lost her way spiritually while in college/Being broken, the Holy Spirit draws her back to him.

C. Challenge by “Should Work, But Doesn’t”

Ruth befriends Maureen who is on again/off again. Maureen eventually commits suicide.

Ruth loves Clifton and tries to help him. She can’t stop his PTSD.

Margie tries to keep Karen from bothering her. It takes Ruth teaming up with Margie in the hospital to chase Karen away.

E. Challenge through Living Metaphor

How are You Presenting Insights through Profound Moments?

A. Action delivers insight

#1: Ruth is standing and overlooking the Coachella Valley. She takes a swing with a golf club and stops the swing when the club head is pointed straight at the valley below.

#2 In the coffee shop, Margie looks out the window and watches as she and her husband Walter age as they drive by in multiple cars from different decades. Each car is white with red leather interior. Margie wears a long scarf until the most recent car where she’s alone and wearing a short scarf.

B. Conflict delivers insight.

#1 Ruth has the ability to know when men are looking at her from behind. She has excellent responses, mostly snarky, occasionally friendly.

#2Karen barging into Margie’s home uninvited.

C. Irony delivers insight.

#1: Margie’s company goes world wide and does immense charity work. Margie had to die before this could happen.

What are the Most Profound Lines of the Movie?

Pattern A: Height of the Emotion

#1“I know you’re watching me!”

Multiple scenes when Ruth needs to be tough on a guy or when she wants to flirt.

#2 Hi. Sharp gig line.

Ruth and Clifton are going on their first date and she doesn’t know where the date will be. Clifton shows up at her door in his Army Dress Blues with two stars on his shoulders.

Pattern B: Build Meaning Over Multiple Scenes

#3 Sometimes you just have to be rude to make a point, and have fun.

How Do You Leave Us With A Profound Ending?

Margie’s wealth is used to help people around the world. Karen is part of that help. Closing scene: Karen in her wedding gown.

A. Deliver The Profound Truth Profoundly

B. Family Matters!

C. Lead Characters Ending Represents The Change

D. Margie will her wealth for the good of others. Ruth, Clifton and Karen carry out the giving.

C. Payoff Key Setups

D. Surprising, But Inevitable

E. Leave Us with a Profound Parting Image/Line get passed his PTSD

4. How Do You Connect With Your Audience in the Beginning of the Movie? A. Relatability – They Are Us!
B. Intrigue

Ruth: Why is she snow birding in SoCal?

Margie: Who is this woman of stature?

Karen: Why is Karen such a twisted person?

What’s up between Maureen & Clifton?

[James Clark]

SCREENWRITINGU

The Profound Screenplay

Day 15 Profound Dialogue Assignment #2 – Build Meaning Over Multiple Experiences

Jim Clark Builds Meaning with dialogue for three lines.

What I learned from this assignment: I simple phrase can have multiple meanings and it’s own “arc”.

Line 1: I feel you looking at me/Are you looking at me?

a. RUTH

Thanks

Teddy leers as she walks away

Without turning around …

RUTH

Am I feeling your eyeballs, Mr. Collins?

b. TEDDY

You’re in the right place

Ruth hands him a twenty dollar bill and he makes change.

As Ruth walks away, Teddy watches her as he pockets the twenty.

Without turning around…

RUTH

Mr. Collins, we aren’t doing this again are we?

Teddy blushes, turns and goes into the office.

c. As Ruth and Karla walk away, Clifton can’t take his eyes off of Ruth.

Without turning around…

RUTH

I know you’re watching. Feels’ nice.

Mark laughs and pats Clifton on the back.

d. RUTH

Love you more.

Ruth smiles impishly as she backs out the door. Clifton sticks his head ot the door and watches her walk down the hallway.

Ruth doesn’t look back.

RUTH

Yup, you’re watching.

CLIFTON

How do you do that?

RUTH

Oh, it’s a gift.

Line 2: Do you know who I am?

a. MARGIE’S HOUSE – DAU

Karen has intimidated her way into the house.

MARGIE

There will be no conversation. I don’t like you

conducting an inspection of my home.

KAREN

Do you know who I am? What authority I have?

Margie laughs. Karen bristles

b. Karen has been pulled over by a police officer who is writing her a ticket.

KAREN

Do you know who I am?

The officer looks at her license and then at her.

OFFICER

Yup.

KAREN

And?

OFFICER

Don’t care

Karen kicks the tire of her car and hurst her foot.

KAREN

OUCH!

The Officer smiles.

c. Karen is getting fired

KAREN

Do you know what I’ve done for you?

BILL

I’m very aware of what you’ve done to me and the department.

KAREN

But…

BILL

Did you take an ethics class?

Karen just stares at him.

Line 3: I have your back

a. In the ER Margie and Ruth have just finished intimidating Karen out the door.

RUTH

Sometimes you just have to be rude to make and point and have fun.

Margie smiles.

RUTH

Got you’re back, not that you need it.

MARGIE

Comforting , none the less.

b. Karen’s apartment. She’s reading her Bible for the first time in years

KAREN

I don’t…

HOLY SPIRIT

Got your back

Karen weeps.

[James Clark]

SCREENWRITING U Profound Screenplays

Day 15 Profound Dialogue

Assignment 1: Height of Emotion

Jim Clark’s Height Of Emotion

What I learned from this assignment: In dialogue, “less” is often “more”. Writing multiple versions lends to more creative lines.

Five Emotional Moments

1- Margie watching the car Hx parade pg 2

a. VO Never gets old.

b. VO Loved those scarves

c. VO Walter’s favorite color scheme.

d. VO He loved those cars.

e. ? How was the parade today?

Answer. Never fails.

2- Karen in Margie’s House pgs 10-12

a. Bullycrats love to run roughshod

b. My home isn’t your domain

c. My domain, my rules.

d. Tread lightly

3- Karen in the ER pg 20

a. You must have slipped and come in by accident

b. Be careful what you hope for. Dearie.

c. Welcome isn’t quite the right word.

4- VFW Hall pg 79

a. These Vets brought honor back to Vet status

b. You younger Vets got patriotic welcomes. Thank a Viet Nam Vet for that.

c. You didn’t get spit on. They did.

5- Margie’s house pg 84-85

a. Sure you do. Family is everything.

b. Sure you do. Family.

[James Clark]

Jim Clark delivers Irony

Profound Moments of Irony Day 14 Lesson 23

What I learned from this assignment: By asking “what if” questions then applying a “compare and contrast model to the scene, I can develop and insert irony into the scene.

Irony: Identity

EXT – RUTH’S RV SITE – DAY

Ruth hears footsteps on the gravel and looks up. In front of her stands Clifton wearing clean and pressed “Dickies” style work clothes. The buttons of the shirt are perfectly straight and line up with the belt buckle which lines up with the pants placket. The patch on his shirt says “Maintenance”.

RUTH (CONT’D)

Hi. Sharp “gig line”.

Clifton shrugs and speaks with a southern drawl.

CLIFTON

Habit. Hey. I’m Clifton. I handle the maintenance here in the park. Welcome.

RUTH

OK. Would you like some lemonade, Clifton?

CLIFTON

I’ll take a rain check. Just wanted to let you know that tomorrow I’ll be shutting the water off to your space for a couple of hours to repair a leak.

RUTH

I’ll save you some lemonade. I’m Ruth.

CLIFTON

Thanks. Your plates say you’re from Michigan.

RUTH

Uh huh. You?

CLIFTON

Oklahoma.

RUTH

Still call it home?

CLIFTON

Not really. My kids are there, but not me.

Irony: Credit

MAUREEN

You were a nurse right?

Ruth nods.

MAUREEN (CONT’D)

I started as a nurse but moved into Administration.

RUTH

Gotta lot of respect for Hospital Administrators. Where’d you work?

MAUREEN

Army.

RUTH

My son was a Navy Corpsman. Marine Recon. Iraq. Thanks for your service.

Maureen bristles. She finishes her Bloody Mary in one gulp. She holds up the empty glass to the waitress and points at it.

MAUREEN

Service doesn’t mean a thing.

SANDI

Maureen!

RUTH

Why wouldn’t it?

Maureen looks at Ruth, purses her lips, turns away and looks out the window.

MAUREEN

No matter.

Irony: Win/Lose

INT. POWDER ROOM – NIGHT

KARLA

…Ann left him in ninety seven just after their son was killed on a Special Ops mission. She’s never stopped blaming Clifton for it. You’re the first woman he’s been out with since.

RUTH

Twenty five years?

KARLA

Yeah. Don’t let that “aw shucks” Oklahoma drawl and his good looks fool you. He’s a stoic. She broke his heart. He retired three years later.

Ruth nods.

KARLA (CONT’D)

Ya’ll aughta know that he was involved in major combat situations – especially Viet Nam. He has scars inside and out. He hides it well – until…

Ruth reaches out and touches Karla’s arm.

RUTH

Thanks. I understand. Do you think PTSD was a factor in his marriage?

KARLA

If the Army had done a better job of helping him cope and if his marriage had lasted, he would have ended up with four stars. (BEAT)

The military is tough on a marriages.

RUTH

Yeah, I’ve heard.

Irony: Motivation

INT. CLIFTON’S RV – DAY

Ruth stands just inside the door.

RUTH

Clifton?

No response. Indistinguishable talking continues. She walks to the back. The bedroom door is closed.

RUTH (CONT’D)

Clifton?

Shuffling sounds. Door opens. Clifton is dishevelled and unshaven. His eyes are bloodshot.

CLIFTON

What’re ya doin’ here?

Ruth goes into nurse mode automatically. She touches his hand.

RUTH

What’s going on?

No response from Clifton. He shuffles back to his bed and collapses into it pulling the covers up over his head. Ruth follows him into the bedroom and sits in a chair next to the bed.

RUTH (CONT’D)

I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to sit in this chair until you’re ready, however long that takes.

CLIFTON

(MUMBLING/WHISPER) No need.

Irony: Deal

INT. MARGIE’S FAMILY ROOM – DAY

Margie’s on the couch. On the coffee table are several photo albums and Walter’s pipe. On the floor next to her feet is an old, tattered cardboard box. She’s slowing going through a photo album in her lap. She reach’s the end, sets the album on the table and picks up the pipe. She strokes the pipe, brings the bowl to her nose and takes a deep breath. She holds the pipe in her lap, closes her eyes and smiles slowly.

She opens the box and pulls out items one by one; a baby blanket, a knit cap, a teddy bear, a baby book. She flips through the pages of the baby book – it’s empty.

(BEAT) Margie stares at the Oscar on the mantle.

MARGIE

Okay.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by  James Clark.

[James Clark]

Jim Clark Deliver’s Through Conflict

What I learned is that there are multiple opportunities to creat Conflict without dialogue.

Competition

New Way: Make people work for their potential promotions

Insight: Don’t give out promotions unless they are deserved.

Margie’s Office

MARGIE

That’s it then. On Thursday we go over scripts to find our next film. So get your reading done. Just for fun, there’s a twenty thousand dollar bonus for the presentation argument. Thanks and enjoy your day.

Power Struggle

Insight: Force the cream to rise to the top

Margie’s Office

MARGIE

You know that Bruce is retiring next month. That will open the VP of Production position. On Thursday we go over scripts to find our next film. Best presentation will have the script chosen. I’m giving thought to the VP slot.

Margie looks into the eyes of everyone at the table. Then, she smiles.

Physical Confrontation

Insight: physical challenge can be the most powerful tool.

RV Park Store

Ruth is in an aisle. She grabs a can of coffee and heads to the register. Teddy is at the cash register.

TEDDY

Getting settled in Mrs. Cooper?

RUTH

Uh huh.

TEDDY

Got plans?

RUTH

Relax, play golf. Maybe see some sights.

TEDDY

You’re in the right place.

Ruth hands him a twenty dollar bill and he makes change.

As Ruth walks away, she glances up at the concave mirror above the door.

Teddy watches Ruth as he pockets the twenty.

Ruth smiles, stops, turns and quicksteps back to Teddy still at the counter. She stares him in the eye and raises one eyebrow.

TEDDY

What?

Ruth pulls her cell phone out and dials nine one…

TEDDY

Fine.

Misunderstanding

Insight: Some people cling to a dream that will never come true.

Outside the RV Park Clubhouse after church service

Maureen is chatting with Ruth and Sandi.

Clifton walks outside from the clubhouse. Maureen sees him.

MAUREEN

Watch and learn, ladies.

Maureen walks away toward Clifton.

Sandi walks in the opposite direction.

Ruth watches Maureen as she walks away.

Maureen reaches Clifton.

MAUREEN (CONT’D)

(UNINTELLIGIBLE)

CLIFTON

(UNINTELLIGIBLE)

He shakes his head. He gently places his palm on her shoulder. She pushes him away Maureen and then slaps him on the cheek. As she leaves, he shakes his head, turns and walks in the opposite direction.

Public Humiliation

Insight: Don’t mess with people who have powerful connections.

EXT. HIGHWAY 111 – DAY

Rush Hour.

About two blocks from Irv’s Deli Ruth doesn’t notice, but she passes Karen Halverson in the Riverside County vehicle that is pulled over by a police officer writing a ticket. Karen exits the car. She’s openly angry.

EXT. ROADSIDE HIGHWAY 111 – DAY

KAREN

Do you know who I am?

Officer holds up her drivers license and looks a it.

POLICE OFFICER

Yup.

KAREN

And?

POLICE OFFICER

Don’t care.

Karen kicks the tire of her car and hurts her foot.

KAREN

OUCH!

Officer looks up at people driving nearby then using his thumb he indicates Karen and shakes his head.

He grins at Karen, then goes back to finish writing the ticket.

[James Clark]

Day 11 Challenging the Old ways through ”Should Work But Doesn’t and “Living Metaphors

Jim Clark’s Assignment

What I learned from this assignment: Metaphors and questions can be powerful tools in making changes in the life views of the characters.

Should work but doesn’t

1. Choose an Old Way

2. Use the Old Way expecting Success

3. Failure. Character needs to find a New Way

1.

A. Karen invades Margie’s location in the ER

B. Expecting to use her color of authority one more time to try and intimidate Margie

C. Margie and Ruth turn the intimidation technique on Karen forcing her to leave the ER

2.

A. Veteran’s Day event at the VFW. Maureen is drunk and lashes out at Clifton and Ruth.

B. Maureen insults everyone of her acquaintances. She tries to leave byt is too drunk to drive

C. She’s taken home by Pastor Phil who she despises because he was an enlisted NCO rather than a Commission Officer.

3.

A. Clifton’s PTSD is triggered every Veteran’s Day. He’s isolating in his RV

B. It doesn’t work because Ruth won’t allow him to continue to isolate.

C. Ruth stays at his bedside comforting him and letting him know he’s valuable.

4.

A. Ruth tells Margie about Walter

B. Margie refuses to listen.

C. Margie goes through a box of baby items

5.

A. Clifton has spent 25 years living a solitary life

B. Ruth invades his life

C. He asks Ruth to marry him

Living Metaphors

1. Select an Old Way

2. Brainstorm metaphors that could represent that Old Way

3. Use that metaphor to reduce the hold of the Old Way

1.

A. Margie has no children or grandchildren

B. She goes through an old box of items for a baby that never transpired.

C. Margie agrees to see Ruth as the daughter of Walter

D.

2.

A. Maureen’s injury represents her internal pain over her life choices

B. She rebukes everyone around her

C. She eventually takes her own life

3.

A. Nancy & Phil take Thanksgiving dinner to Maureen’s RV

B. The dinner is untouched

C. Maureen died alone feeling unloved.

4.

A. Karen Is pulled over by a police officer who writes her a ticket. She’s furious. Margie drives by and they lock eyes

B. Karen loses her job on Christmas Eve.

C. Spending Christmas alone with no friends, Karen opens her Bible

5.

A. Karen does manual labor at the RV Park

B. She enjoys the exercise and being in the fresh air.

C. Pastor Phil asks her what se learned and she gives an apt answer.

[James Clark]

Jim Clark’s Assignment

What I learned from this assignment: Metaphors and questions can be powerful tools in making changes in the life views of the characters.

Should work but doesn’t

1. Choose an Old Way

2. Use the Old Way expecting Success

3. Failure. Character needs to find a New Way

1.

A. Karen invades Margie’s location in the ER

B. Expecting to use her color of authority one more time to try and intimidate Margie

C. Margie and Ruth turn the intimidation technique on Karen forcing her to leave the ER

2.

A. Veteran’s Day event at the VFW. Maureen is drunk and lashes out at Clifton and Ruth.

B. Maureen insults everyone of her acquaintances. She tries to leave byt is too drunk to drive

C. She’s taken home by Pastor Phil who she despises because he was an enlisted NCO rather than a Commission Officer.

3.

A. Clifton’s PTSD is triggered every Veteran’s Day. He’s isolating in his RV

B. It doesn’t work because Ruth won’t allow him to continue to isolate.

C. Ruth stays at his bedside comforting him and letting him know he’s valuable.

4.

A. Ruth tells Margie about Walter

B. Margie refuses to listen.

C. Margie goes through a box of baby items

5.

A. Clifton has spent 25 years living a solitary life

B. Ruth invades his life

C. He asks Ruth to marry him

Living Metaphors

1. Select an Old Way

2. Brainstorm metaphors that could represent that Old Way

3. Use that metaphor to reduce the hold of the Old Way

1.

A. Margie has no children or grandchildren

B. She goes through an old box of items for a baby that never transpired.

C. Margie agrees to see Ruth as the daughter of Walter

2.

A. Maureen’s injury represents her internal pain over her life choices

B. She rebukes everyone around her

C. She eventually takes her own life

3.

A. Nancy & Phil take Thanksgiving dinner to Maureen’s RV

B. The dinner is untouched

C. Maureen died alone feeling unloved.

4.

A. Karen Is pulled over by a police officer who writes her a ticket. She’s furious. Margie drives by and they lock eyes

B. Karen loses her job on Christmas Eve.

C. Spending Christmas alone with no friends, Karen opens her Bible

5.

A. Karen does manual labor at the RV Park

B. She enjoys the exercise and being in the fresh air.

C. Pastor Phil asks her what se learned and she gives an apt answer.

[James Clark]

5 Questions Challenging The Old Ways with Counter Examples

Jim Clark – Assignment

What I learned from this exercise: Having characters queston a viewpoint can heighten the stakes and create greater intrigue between the characters.

1- INT. IRV’S DELI – MORNING

Margie blinks in response to the vision. She takes a final sip of her tea, signs the credit card slip, wraps her short silk scarf around her neck and slides out of the booth. She steadies herself with her cane and walks to the front door. The waitress is at the register.

DONNA

How was today’s parade?

MARGIE

Nice.

DONNA

Does it ever change?

MARGIE

Why would it?

INT. RV PARK OFFICE – DAY

2-TEDDY COLLINS (60) hands Ruth a piece of paper.

INSERT NAME BADGE:

Chiriaco Vista RV Park

Teddy CollinsManager

TEDDY

Site number 57. Two streets up then turn left.

RUTH

Thanks.

Teddy leers as she walks away.

Without turning around…

RUTH (CONT’D)

Am I feeling your eyeballs, Mr. Collins?

Teddy turns away. Ruth leaves the office.

3- INT. MARGIE’S HOME – DAY

Doorbell rings. Margie opens the door. Karen Halverson is facing Margie. There is a Mezuzah on the doorpost.

KAREN HALVERSON

Good morning Mrs. Owens.

Margie is surprised, quickly assesses and responds.

MARGIE

Miss Halverson. You are here because?

KAREN

I’m following up on my previous visit. May I come in?

Before Margie can respond, Karen steps through the door brushing past Margie.

Margie turns to face Karen.

MARGIE

You may not. You may leave. You are a rude young lady aren’t you?

KAREN

Just doing my job Mrs. Owens. Now that I’m here, why don’t we chat.

Karen moves around the entryway looking at items. She uses her finger to check for dust on a table. She eyes the photos on the mantle. Margie still stands in the doorway with the door open.

Margie is taking a video of the activity on her phone.

MARGIE

There will be no conversation. I don’t like you conducting an inspection of my home.

Do you enjoy being a bullycrat that makes an income from my tax dollars?

KAREN

I need to see…

MARGIE

…I play golf with the former Chief of Police for Palm Springs. I could claim this is a home invasion. You decide.

Karen stares at Margie for a few seconds. She steps toward the door. Margie moves aside to let her out. Karen turns back to face Margie.

KAREN

Mrs. Owens, your healthcare provider…

Margie’s index finger hovers over the dial pad on her cell phone.

MARGIE

Three…

Karen backs up and opens the front door but doesn’t exit.

MARGIE (CONT’D)

Two…

Karen backs out and stands with her toes on the door sill.

KAREN

I’m just doing my …

MARGIE

One!

Margie closes the door in Karen’s face.

4- INT. IRV’S DELI – DAY

Margie sits at her normal booth with a view of Highway 111. Ruth, Maureen and Sandi are in a booth several feet away. Ruth is seated and has a clear view of Margie and the highway outside. Margie has her Lox, sliced tomatoes, bagel and herbal tea. Ruth is drawn to observe Margie. Maureen is working on a Bloody Mary. Ruth is drinking tea and Sandi is drinking coffee.

MAUREEN

Ruth, Where’d ya go?

RUTH

Sorry. I was just watching a lady in another booth. She’s interesting.

SANDI

Could be a celebrity.

RUTH

I don’t think that’s it. But there’s just something about her – substance, authenticity.

Margie glances over at Ruth and her friends. She and Ruth lock eyes.

Margie smiles and nods. Ruth smiles back.

Margie turns her head and gazes out the window watching as traffic goes by.

MAUREEN

You were a nurse right?

Ruth nods.

MAUREEN (CONT’D)

I started as a nurse but moved into Administration.

RUTH

Gotta lot of respect for Hospital Administrators. Where’d you work?

MAUREEN

Army.

RUTH

My son was a Navy Corpsman. Marine Recon. Iraq. Thanks for your service.

Maureen bristles. She finishes her Bloody Mary in one gulp. She holds up the empty glass to the waitress and points at it.

MAUREEN

Service doesn’t mean a thing.

SANDI

Maureen!

RUTH

Why wouldn’t it?

Maureen looks at Ruth, purses her lips, turns away and looks out the window.

• This reply was modified 2 years ago by  James Clark.

[James Clark]

Day 9 The Old Ways of 12 Angry Men

Jim Clark

What I learned from this assignment is that the level of tension can be manipulated

by the writer through the process of challenging/not challenging the old ways.

Old Ways

Habits: Interrupting others; Not paying attention; bullying

Challenge: Pay attention to the subject; stop bullying; “the word is doesn’t, not don’t”.

Assumptions: The knife was rare; prior trouble with the law; The L Train was not a problem.

Challenge: Henry Fonda proved it was no uncommon; prior trouble with the law doesn’t equal murder in this case; The L Train makes a lot of noise as it passes, so it’s possible the witness didn’t hear what he said he heard

Filters: Racism;

Challenge: We’re all “one of them” to somebody;

Social Values: Poor people tend to be criminals

Challenge: I grew up poor and I did okay.

[James Clark]

Jim Clark’s profound ending

What I learned from this assignment is how to incorporate the process backwards from the ending.

1. What is my profound truth and how will it be delivered powerfully in the ending?

a- Women are strong; families can be built from scratch; strangers can become family;

2. How do my lead characters (Change Agent & Transformable Characters) come to an end in a way that represents the completed change?

a- Ruth (CA) coordinates the opportunities even unknowingly

b- Margie (TC) Margie has children and grandchildren that she never would have had otherwise. Margie sets up a non profit organization to use her wealth to help others, expecting Ruth and Karen to take it forward.

c- Karen (TC) realizes the pain she has caused due to her selfishness

3. What are the setups/payoffs that complete in the end of the movie, giving it deep meaning?

a. Setups

Ruth swinging her driver pg 1; Margie watching the car parade at the diner pg 2; Ruth’s intuition pg 3; Margie’s investment company pg 4; Ruth talking to Cynthia “Hollywood” pg 5; Teddy stealing from the RV Park; Ruth remembering her deceased husband, Tom pg 8; Ruth refers to Clifton’s “gig” line pg 9; Karen’s name badge pg 10; The Oscar on Margies mantle; Ruth sees Margie in the diner and studies her pg 13; Ruth’s an RN pg 13 : Maureen is self destructive pg 13/14; Clifton has issues pg 14; Margie faints at the golf center, Ruth comes to her aide pg 16; Karen gets message Margie’s in the ER pg 18; Karen pays a bribe to the ER Receptionist pg 20; Maureen’s drinking various scenes; Ruth’s Mom knew someone who lived and worked in Hollywood pg 23; Mezuzah on the door frame to Margie’s house pg 23; Ruth notices Margie’s Oscar and an old smoking pipe pg 24; Margie mention’s Walter pg 25; Ruth looks at a photo of Margie and Walter pf 26; Ruth gets an email from Child Services in Michigan pg 28; Margie calls Carl for help; Karla tells Ruth about Clifton’s PTSD pg34;

b. Payoffs

Margie rebuffs Karen pg 11; Karen is rebuffed by both Margie and Ruth in the ER pg 19; Ruth has found her birth father “Walter Owens, Margie’s husband pg 28; Clifton shows up to take Ruth to dinner in uniform paying off the “gig Line” comment pg 31/32; Ruth shows compassion for Clifton’s PTSD pgs 37, 38, 39; Margie’s CFO informs her of Teddy stealing at the RV park pg 41;Ruth shares with Margie that Walter is her birth father pg 43; Karen gets her first of a series of traffic tickets to pay off on Margie’s “call” on call to Carl pg 44; Clifton acknowledges Ruth’s help during his episode pg 45; Margie with baby box memories to pay of her telling Ruth she and Walter couldn’t have kids pg 46; Thanksgiving Day Margie shows up at the RV Park during the park dinner to apologize to Ruth pg 51;

4. How am I designing it to have the audience see an inevitable ending and then making It surprising when it happens?

All the characters come together in one location where the Antagonists think they can eliminate the Lead and his sidekick. What the antagonists don’t realize is that they will be the victims of spiritual warfare.

5. What is the parting image/line that leaves us with the Profound Truth in our minds?

Parting line: Let’s see if you are fearfully and wonderfully made:

Parting image: The main antagonist is captured in a living cylinder of bees. FADE TO BLACK, then we hear the antagonist “SCREAM”.

[James Clark]

DAY 7 ASSIGNMENT

James E. Clark Connection with the audience

1- Which Character will I intentionally create a connection

A- Ruth

B- Margie

C- Karen

2- Four ways of connecting for each character

A- Ruth

a-Relatability – family, retirement, response to being leered at,

b- Intrigue – her daughter asks about Hollywood; Photo in Margie’s house

c- Empathy – Widowed, long way from home,

d- Likability – Sense of humor, a mom, a grandma, makes friends easily

B- Margie

a – Relatability – Memories, still working, strong and stands up for herself.

b- Intrigue – The cars, the baby box, medications, golf

c- Empathy – Being picked on by Karen, still sharp of mind but body failing, having been truly in love.

d- Likeability – Golf, likes people, strong willed.

C- Karen

a – Relatability – Needs money, wants to advance on the job,

b- Intrigue – Why does she need the money, why is she targeting Margie, what will she do after being fired, driving tickets

c- Empathy – having job problems, comes clean in court

d- Likeability – return to her Bible, pleads guilty, loves caring for he elderly.

What I learned from this assignment: This process makes my characters more human rather than one dimensional.

[James Clark]

James E. Clark

Analysis: Happy Hearts

Day Six Assignment

1-Transformational Logline: An entitled county APS bureaucrat has a plan to use her position to put wealthy individuals into the “system” so she can make positive impressions on her boss and get faster promotions to help pay off her Stanford student loans.

2- Transformable Character is Karen

3- The current structure is the 9 beat structure. For this assignment I will break it out in the MMM format

4-The MMM Transformational Journey Format

A- Does my logline match the dialogue and action?

Yes.

B- Do I have the three gradients?

Karen falls under Forced Change due to her behavior and actions

C- Are the gradients sequenced in escalating challenges?

Karen is in Denial of her actions; Karen gets angry when Margie and Ruth challenge Karen’s actions by denying her access to Margie’s life: Margie’s contacts with the Palm Springs police department have Karen getting pulled over daily for minor traffic infractions causing Karen to try and talk her way out of the situation – she fails; Karen loses her job with the County. She fights her depression by reading her Bible for the first time in years; Karen Accepts her responsibility which frees her up to become a better human being. The final change results in Karen, Margie and Ruth becoming a family where one didn’t exist before.

D- What did I learn from this assignment?

Asking the question What if…? Is a powerful way to dive deeper into each situation in the story.

[James Clark]

Jim Clark’s Transformable Journey

What I learned from this assignment: The more questions I ask myself about my character, the deeper I go into their life and personality

TJ Logline: An entitled county APS bureaucrat has a plan to use her position to put wealthy individuals into the “system” so she can make positive impressions on her boss and get faster promotions to help pay off her Stanford student loans.

Transformable Character(s)

1- Margie: Forced Change: At 85 Margie still runs her Film Production and Real Estate Empire. Also, she just found out she has a family she never knew she had. She also realizes her health is failing. So her “oppression” is that her time is running out.

The betrayhing character is Maureen who hates her life and tries to drag others into her misery.

[James Clark]

ZhiMin, thanks for being here. It sounds like you already having a wonderful career.

[James Clark]

Hi everyone. I’m James E. Clark. But I go by Jim.

I’ve written five screenplays. One has earned multiple awards at film festivals and writing competitions. I have one that will be ready for film festivals and pitching within the next month. I have two more behind that one that are ready for rewrites and elelvation and I have several concepts that I can start to develop.

I hope to get stronger skills in developing and elevating concepts and stories.

Unique and special: I adore my wife of 46 years, our three kids and our six grandkidlets. They are my joy. In my youth I was a competetive archer and I’ve been know to play the bagpipes in the past. Prior to retirement I was in hospital adiministration.

[James Clark]

James E. Clark(Jim)

Transformable Logline: An entitled count Adult Protective Services bureaucrat has a plan to abuse her authority and put wealthy individuals into the “system” so she can make positive impressions on her boss and get faster promotions to help pay off her Stanford student loans.

Issue: The bureaucrat thinks she’s entitled and untouchable.

Journey: She targets an ultra 85 year old wealthy widow who has all of her faculties and is well known in the community and is able to fend off the manipulations of the bureaucrat

Transformation: The widow toys with the bureacrat through the Chief of Policeand the health care system. The bureaucrat hits bottom and refers back to her childhood training and realizes she has been wrong the whole time. She begins her steps back to treating people with respect.

Old Ways: Buraeucrat is out for herself and doesn’t care who she hurts.

New Ways: Bureaucrat’s heart has tenderized and she realizes shen needs to change for the better or she will end up in prison.

[James Clark]

What is my profound truth: I am a story teller with unique and quirky ideas and I can generate quality stories by using my snenses and life experience to build a “world” for my characters.

What is the change my movie will cause with an audience: Seniors can life quality, fulfilling lives and contribute to society in multiple ways.

What is the entertainment vehicle that I will tell this story through: Embellished as it happened.

[James Clark]

James E. Clark (Jim)

What I learned from this assignment: Creating a change arc develops a stronger character(s) resulting in a better story.

What is the change this movie is about: Phil sees himself as more important than he truly is, resulting in his narcissitic actions which are part of his wall of emotional protection. Therefore, no friends.

Lead Characters

Who is the change agent: Rita. She’s the constant character constantly urging Phil to be better.

Who is the transformable character: Phil. His character gives lots of room for major transformation. Nothis is subtle about Phil.

What’s the Oppression: Time standing still, reliving Groundhog Day for Phil for a very long time.

How are we(audience) lured into the profound journey: We have a chracter in Phil who has big dreams and a firm grip on fantasy. He thinks of himslef as better than everyone around him. But his actions in how he treats them say otherwise.

Looking at the characters, who changed the most: Phil going from rude anger to learning to like himself by caring for others.

Identify the Old Way vs the New Way: Phil is a mean rude SOB who thinks he’s funny but isn’t. He learns incrementally how to appreciate life, who he is and people around him that are kind hearted.

What is the gradiant change: Phil starts out treating everyone else as dirt. Once he starts to relive Groundhog Day, he gets an inkling as to how he operates, but shakes it off. He begins to see how nice people are even if he insults them. He does various tests to learn about people and then works on the relationships one groundhog day at a time. H eventually sees how he can be a benefit to others resulting in him buying lots of insurance from Ned and having Rita fall in love with him, but not taking advantage of her. The final visual hit is when he doesn’t step inot the icy deep puddle.

What beliefs are challenged that cause a main character to shift their
perspective…and make the change: Phil believes everyone but him is stupid, lazy, unprofessional and useless.

What are the most profound moments
of the movie: Scenes with his crew, the people at the B&B, meeting Ned, stepping in the puddle, Suicide scenes, when he realizes he loves Rita

What are the most profound lines of
the movie: about brekfast at the B&B, How he treats Rita and his crew, how he treats Ned.

How does the ending payoff the setups of this movie? Living the same day over again can get boring. Phil tries to take his life, then he takes on multiple hobbies to freshen his days. He eventually begins to see the value in others. The payoff is that the eternal groundhop day is ended and he can live a normal life know that life is valuable and the people around him are wonderful.

What is the Profound Truth of this movie:Incremental change is more powerful than an overnight change. It affects the heart and mind instead of paper thin actions that are false.

[James Clark]

Name: James E. Clark

I agree to the terms of this release form.

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

[James Clark]

.

[James Clark]

QE Cycle #2 Assigned Scene. V2

LOGLINE: Do whatever needs to be done to get the information.

ESSENCE: Who can hold out the longest?

INT. RESTAURANT KITCHEN – NIGHT

JOHN (35) is dressed in Chef’s clothing – all white. The name tag reads Chef John.

He’s standing at a prep table chopping vegetables. He stops chopping, looks at Nickie for a BEAT then goes back to chopping.

JOHN

I told you, the owner makes those decisions.

NICKIE (30 & FEMALE) Dressed in a woman’s business suit.

NICKIE

Yeah. But we give a huge discount on each box.

JOHN

No supplier discounts wine.

Nickie puts her briefcase on her side of the prep table. She opens it. John cannot see what’s inside.

NICKIE

It’s not a financial discount.

Inside the briefcase are three bottles of wine, an automatic pistol, a knife and a set of brass knuckles and a red rose.

NICKIE (CON’T)

It’s more of a partnership incentive. Mutual respect and all.

John stops chopping. He adjust his grip on the knife.

JOHN

Who’s giving and getting the respect?

Nickie reaches into the brief case.

` NICKIE

I’m sure the owner would like our product line. Who would I send it to?

JOHN

I’ll give them your regards.

Nickie removes her hands from the brief case. She holds up a bottle of wine in one hand. She sets in the middle of the prep table. Her other hand is not visible.

John notices she doesn’t reveal her other hand.

NICKIE

Our finest cabernet. Yours to keep.

JOHN

Recognize the label. My mother’s red wine vinegar tastes better.

Remind me of who’s getting the respect.

NICKIE

I’m sure I can convince the owner. Time to tell me who they are.

JOHN

Not going to happen.

Nickie raises her hand, reaches across the table and sets a business card down next to the bottle of wine, facing John.

The card has the number thirty four on it.

John glances down. When he looks back up Nickie is holding the red rose in her left hand. She sets the rose down next to the business card.

NICKIE

Rose is for you.

JOHN

Rose? Thirty four? No thanks, don’t want it.

NICKIE

It’s not for you to have. The rose makes you number thirty five.

JOHN

Thirty five what?

NICKIE

Success stories.

JOHN

Well you haven’t sold me. So why should I give you my bosses name?

NICKIE

A cover story.

JOHN

Prepare to be sorry. Not getting’ the name.

JOHN

What makes me a success story?

NICKIE

Ever heard the name Arty Santini?

JOHN

Yeah. I heard his mechanic is a gal.

NICKIE

He’s your boss.

JOHN

How…?

NICKIE

He’s mine too.

John looks into Nickie’s eyes, drop his eyes to her hidden hand, looks back up to her eyes.

JOHN

I s your life worth…

John throws his knife. Nickie raises her gun and fires.

[James Clark]

QE Cycle #2 Assigned Scene. V1

LOGLINE: Do whatever needs to be done to get the information.

ESSENCE: Who can hold out the longest?

INT. RESTAURANT KITCHEN – NIGHT

JOHN (35) is dressed in Chef’s clothing – all white. The name tag reads Chef John.

He’s standing at a prep table chopping vegetables.

JOHN

I told you, the owner makes those decisions. You know that.

NICKIE (30 & FEMALE) Dressed in a woman’s business suit.

NICKIE

Yeah. But we give a huge discount on each box.

JOHN

No supplier discounts wine.

Nickie puts her briefcase on her side of the prep table. She opens it. John cannot see what’s inside.

NICKIE

It’s not a financial discount.

Inside the briefcase are three bottles of wine, an automatic pistol, a knife and a set of brass knuckles and a red rose.

NICKIE (CON’T)

It’s more of a partnership incentive. Mutual respect and all.

John stops chopping. He adjust his grip on the knife.

JOHN

Who’s giving and getting the respect?

Nickie reaches into the brief case.

` NICKIE

I’m sure the owner would like our product line. Who would I send it to?

JOHN

I’ll give them your regards.

Nickie removes her hands from the brief case. She holds up a bottle of wine in one hand. She sets in the middle of the prep table. Her other hand is not visible.

John notices she doesn’t reveal her other hand.

NICKIE

Our finest cabernet. Yours to keep.

JOHN

Recognize the label. My mother’s red wine vinegar tastes better.

Remind me of who’s getting the respect.

NICKIE

I’m sure I can convince the owner. Time to tell me who they are.

JOHN

Not going to happen.

Nickie raises her hand, reaches across the table and sets a business card down next to the bottle of wine, facing John.

The card has the number thirty four on it.

John glances down. When he looks back up Nickie is holding the red rose in her left hand.

JOHN

Rose? Thirty four?

NICKIE

The rose makes you number thirty five. Is your life worth the loyalty?

JOHN

Are you sure you want to suffer the consequences if you kill me?

Are you familiar with Arty Santini?

Nickie stares at John.

NICKIE

I’ve heard the name.

JOHN

My boss. He’s got the best mechanic in the business. I’ve heard she’s…

John’s jaw drops as he looks from Nickie’s eyes to her unseen hand and back to her eyes.

BEAT

John throws his knife. Nickie raises her gun and fires.

[James Clark]

Completed.

[James Clark]

Lesson 5 v2

James E. Clark

Assigned Scene

What I learned from this assignment: Given a small amount of material, I can create a world around the basic information given regarding character traits and interest techniques.

SCENE

EXT. LAKE – DAY

The sun is rising on the horizon. The water reflects the golden sunrise.

Two bass boats speed across the water.

EXT. COVE – DAY

Mid Afternoon. The two bass boats are about twenty feet apart, bobbing up and down in the water.

EXT. WATER LEVEL – DAY

ROBERT (30) is in one boat. TRENT (28) is in the other. They each are frantically trying to bring in another fish.

Robert pulls in a fish. He measures it and weighs it. He holds it up and shows it to Trent.

ROBERT

(LAUGHING) It’s all about technique. Do you have technique?

Robert fires up his boat and takes off.

Trent gets one more bite but can’t reel the fish in. He’s angry. He carefully places his rod in the holder. He checks his tackle box which is clean and neat. He fires up the engine and chases after Robert.

TRENT

I know how to hurt you .

EXT. MID LAKE – DAY

Trent is going full speed but there are two boats between him and Robert.

TRENT

Whatever it takes! I’m gonna get the jerk.

EXT. TOURNMENT HQ DOCK – DAY

Robert is standing in line with his catch. There’s one fisherman in front of him. He turns and sees three boats coming in. Two are close. Trent’s is five hundred yards back.

FISHERMAN

How did Trent do?

ROBERT

He thinks that spend five times too much for his boat

makes up for lack of technique. Worst catch of his career.

Looks like you did really well.

Fisherman moves up to the directors table.

Robert steps to the director’s table and gives them his catch. As they measure and weigh, he turns back just in time to see Trent entering the dock area at full speed and ramming Robert’s boat near the rear. Robert looks Trent in the eye with no emotion. He turns back to the DIRECTOR (55) who is giving Trent and angry look.

DIRECTOR

Congratulations Robert. You’re currently in first place.

Robert turns to Trent and raises his index finger. Trent is angry. Robert’s boat is sinking. Trent’s boat is damaged but afloat. Trent points to Robert’s boat and raises his index finger.

Robert leaves the stand.

LATER

Trent steps up and hands his catch to the Director.

DIRECTOR

Trent, I can’t let you turn them in. Tournament rules.

Trent turns and looks at Robert’s boat. Then turns back to the Director.

TRENT

Worth it! I can replace his boat ten times over.

The Director shakes his head.

INT. BOATING CLUB DINING ROOM – NIGHT

Robert is sitting at the “head” table with the tournament officials.

The Director of the tournament gives Robert his trophy.

ROBERT

Thanks everyone. I’m not sure I deserve this but…

TRENT

You got that right.

Robert holds up his trophy and waves to the audience. He looks Trent in the eye.

ROBERT

Ya’ll know Trent, the guy who’d rather buy his success than earn it.

Trent is sitting near the rear of the room and drinking heavily.

LATER

Trent approaches the “head” table and throws a drink in Robert’s face. Robert gets up and tries to grab Trent. The Director grabs Robert from behind and pushes him into his seat. He then grabs Trent’s shirt and pulls him close.

DIRECTOR

You two! You’re an embarrassment to the sport. End this right

now or you’ll never compete in any tournament again!

EXT. DOCKSIDE – DAY

Early morning. Robert and Trent stand about a hundred feet from each other. They watch as the salvage crew lifts their boats out of the water.

EXT. PARKING LOT – DAY

Afternoon. The damaged boats have been placed on their respective trailers which are hitched to their pickups.

Robert is inspecting the damage at the bottom of the hull. He hears steps getting close. He doesn’t respond.

BEAT

TRENT

How bad is it?

ROBERT

Fixable.

TRENT

I chose the safest spot.

ROBERT

Really? You planned it?

Trent bristles.

TRENT

You’re a lousy fisherman. And Mom always like you best!

ROBERT

You’re spoiled. Always have been.

Trent charges Robert, kicking him while he’s still kneeling next to the boat. Robert sweeps his legs from a prone position knocking Trent to the ground. They begin wrestling.

A pair of hands grabs the collar of each of them and yanks them hard. Pulling them up to their feet.

DIRECTOR

For heaven’s sakes. What am I to do with you two?

Robert and Trent look down and shuffle their feet.

DIRECTOR

Next Sunday is Easter. Your family expects you to be

in church and then home for dinner. Is that understood?

What would your Mother say?

Robert and Trent MUMBLE

DIRECTOR

(SHOUTS) Is that understood?

ROBERT

Yes sir.

TRENT

Sorry Dad.

[James Clark]

I’m James (Jim) Clark. I’ve completedfive screenplays and I have several that I’m developing. I have a feature screenplay that has earned multiple Best Screenplay awards at film festivals and was a quarter finalist in the ISA Page Turner competition. I have a short screenplay that has earned Best Screenplay at a FF.

I have had one unpaid writing assignment where the film is to be a silent film. It was a challenge for me. I went back a watched mulitple silent films to get the feel for it. It was a wonderful project.

My goal here is to utilize what I learn to develop strong screenplays and to elevate the ones I have completed.

[James Clark]

Lesson 5

James E. Clark

Assigned Scene

What I learned from this assignment: Given a small amount of material, I can create a world around the basic information given regarding character traits and interest techniques.

SCENE

EXT. LAKE – DAY

The sun is rising on the horizon. The water reflects the golden sunrise.

Two bass boats speed across the water.

EXT. COVE – DAY

Mid Afternoon. The two bass boats are about twenty feet apart, bobbing up and down in the water.

EXT. WATER LEVEL – DAY

ROBERT (30) is in one boat. TRENT (28) is in the other. They each are frantically trying to bring in another fish.

Robert pulls in a fish. He measures it and weighs it. He holds it up and shows it to Trent.

ROBERT

(LAUGHING) Deal with it.

Robert fires up his boat and takes off.

Trent gets one more bite but can’t reel the fish in. In anger he tosses his tackle to the bottom of the boat, fires up the engine and chases after Robert.

EXT. MID LAKE – DAY

Trent is going full speed but there are two boats between him and Robert.

TRENT

Whatever it takes! I’m gonna get the jerk.

EXT. TOURNMENT HQ DOCK – DAY

Robert is standing in line with his catch. There’s one fisherman in front of him. He turns and sees three boats coming in. Two are close. Trent’s is five hundred yards back. Robert’s steps to the director’s table and give them his catch. As they measure and weigh, he turns back just in time to see Trent entering the dock area at full speed and ramming Robert’s boat. Robert looks Trent in the eye with no emotion. He turns back to the DIRECTOR (55) who is giving Trent and angry look.

DIRECTOR

Congratulations Robert. You’re currently in first place.

Robert turns to Trent and raises his index finger. Trent is angry. Robert’s boat is sinking. Trent points to Robert’s boat and raises his index finger.

Robert leaves the stand.

LATER

Trent steps up and hands his catch to the Director.

DIRECTOR

Trent, I can’t let you turn them in. Tournament rules.

Trent turns and looks at Robert’s boat. Then turns back to the Director.

TRENT

Worth it!

INT. BOATING CLUB DINING ROOM – NIGHT

Robert is sitting at the “head” table with the tournament officials.

The Director of the tournament gives Robert his trophy.

ROBERT

Thanks everyone. This is a very special night.

Robert holds up his trophy and waves to the audience.

Trent is sitting near the rear of the room and drinking heavily.

LATER

Trent approaches the “head” table and throws a drink in Robert’s face. Robert gets up and tries to grab Trent. The Director grabs Robert from behind and pushes him into his seat. He then grabs Trent’s shirt and pulls him close.

DIRECTOR

You two! You’re an embarrassment to the sport. End this right

now or you’ll never compete in any tournament again!

EXT. DOCKSIDE – DAY

Early morning. Robert and Trent stand about a hundred feet from each other. They watch as the salvage crew lifts their boats out of the water.

EXT. PARKING LOT – DAY

Afternoon. The damaged boats have been placed on their respective trailers which are hitched to their pickups.

Robert is inspecting the damage at the bottom of the hull. He hears steps getting close. He doesn’t respond.

BEAT

TRENT

How bad is it?

ROBERT

Fixable.

TRENT

I – uh…

ROBERT

Yeah? You uh what?

Trent bristles.

TRENT

You’re a lousy fisherman. And Mom always like you best!

ROBERT

You’re a lousy brother and Dad coddled you.

Trent charges Robert, kicking him while he’s still kneeling next to the boat. Robert sweeps his legs from a prone position knocking Trent to the ground. They begin wrestling.

A pair of hands grabs the collar of each of them and yanks them hard. Pulling them up to their feet.

DIRECTOR

For heaven’s sakes. What am I to do with you two?

Robert and Trent look down and shuffle their feet.

DIRECTOR

Next Sunday is Easter. Your family expects you to be

in church and then home for dinner. Is that understood? What would your Mother say?

Robert and Trent MUMBLE

DIRECTOR

(SHOUTS) Is that understood?

ROBERT

Yes sir.

TRENT

Sorry Dad.

[James Clark]

CREATIVE Mastery Assignment 4 Maximum Interest

What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is that a simple POV change will heighten the interest.

Screenplay: Happy Hearts

Scene: Margie in the ER Pgs 18-19

Essence: A Bullycrat meets her match

Scene Logline: Age and Wisdom dominate youth and anticipation.

Technique: Essence w/o On-the-nose

INT. EMERGENCY ROOM – DAY

Karen Halverson Makes an inquiry at the Nursing Station. The nurse points to the bed location. Karen crosses the hall to Margie’s location. She hears laughter. She reaches over to pull the privacy curtain.

INT. MARGIE’S ER CUBICLE – DAY

Karen is facing Margie and Ruth. She takes a step toward the bed.

MARGIE

Don’t take another step.

Ruth observes Karen.

KAREN

I understand you had an incident.

MARGIE

And?

KAREN

I’m here on official business.

MARGIE

Of course you are. Is there any other kind of business than “official”?

Karen steps toward Ruth and holds out her hand. They shake hands.

KAREN

Karen Halverson, Adult Protective Services

RUTH

Ruth Cooper, ER RN. What led you here?

KAREN

It’s my job to be aware of potential risk to the elderly.

RUTH

How special of you.

Margie giggles and presses the call button.

MARGIE

Miss Halverson you aren’t welcome here. Take your

precious little clipboard and leave.

KAREN

Mrs. Owens it’s my jo…

MARGIE

How nice. Run along now.

Ruth chuckles.

Karen bristles, clutches her clip board to her torso, turns her back and walks away.

Margie and Ruth look at each other and laugh.

[James Clark]

What I learned from this Assignment: People are complex. This assginment showed me how to consider the human nature complexity of the characters I’m writing.

Person 1: Negative Traits: Narcissitic, Dishonesty Positive Traits: Loyalty, Focus Every conversation is dominated by this person. This has been a 57 year relationship

Person 2: Negative Traits: Pettiness, Toughtlessness Positive Traits: Authenticity, Self-Discipline We clashed from day 1 thirty years ago. He stepped out of my life 15 years ago. I recently reached out to apologize for my part in our contentious relationship. He acknowledged my apology and then went on a tangent.

Person 3: Negative Traits: Impoliteness, Impatience Positive Traits; Authentic, Kindhearted. Another decades long realtionship. He’s been a brother more than just a friend.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  James Clark.

[James Clark]

CREATIVE MASTERY

James Clark Puts Essence to work

What I learned: By seeing the Essence of the scene, I can elevate the logline.

Lesson 2: Discovering The Essence

Five scene exercise to improve the essence of the scene

SCREENPLAY: Happy Hearts

Format: Location, Logline, Essence, New logline

A- Opening scene Pg 1.

a. Location: Along Interstate 10 just east of the Coachella Valley

b. Logline: Ruth takes in the landscape of her temporary winter home.

c. Essence: Ruth’s life is about to change

d. New Logline: New location, new life, new adventure, new experiences.

B- Margie confronts Karen Pgs 8-9

a. Location; Margie’s House

b. Logline: Trying to intimidate Margie, Karen gets her comeuppance

c. Essence: Karen tries to intimidate Margie

d. New Logline: Margie’s sharp and tough and is no holds barred in a fight

C- Margie, Ruth and Karen together for the first time pgs 16-17

a. Location: Margie’s hospital room

b. Logline: Karen crashes Margie’s hospital room

c. Essence: Margie’s done with Karen

d. New Logline: Margie proves she’s smarter than a 29 YO bully.

D- Ruth and Karla discuss Clifton pgs 29-30

a. VFW Powder Room

b. Logline: Karla give Ruth the lowdown on Clifton

c. Essence: Know what you’re getting into.

d. New Logline: Veterans carry baggage.

E- Ruth Reveals to Margie that Walter is her birth father. Pgs 37-38

a. Location: Irv’s Deli

b. Logline: Ruth drops a bomb

c. Essence: Reveal knowledge in a kind way

New Logline: Ruth faces a tough choice.

[James Clark]

James E. Clark. I’ve written six screenplays. I hope to grasp the techniques needed to elevate my scripts to professional level.

Unique and strange. I didn’t enter the dramatic arts until my late 60’s. I’m soon to be 72.

[James Clark]

Jim Clark’s Marketing Plan

Lesson 12 A

WHAT I LEARNED FROM THIS ASSIGNMENT:

Having a specified Marketing Plan keeps me focused on the goal.

1- My email request for writing assignments

Subject: Regarding you’re your Faith Based film XYZ

Hi ABC,

Like you, I do Faith Based stories as my forte.

I want to let you know that I’m available to do writing assignments such as, rewriting a screenplay, adapting a book, or write a screenplay based on your concept or idea. I have writing samples available so you can assess the quality of my work.

I received First Runner Up for a short screenplay, THE LOOK OF LOVE at the God & Country Film Festival.

Let me know if I can help you in any way

Regards,

James E. Clark

951-733-1703

bagpiperjim@gmail.com

[James Clark]

Jim Clark’s Plan for Increasing Perceived value

What I learned from this assignment: My pricing at this stage is part of the collaboration process. By asking the right questions, I’m able to understand the producer’s vision, concept and view of the writing process. I can get paid in multiple different way.

1- My expertise is in the specialty of Faith Based dramas and thrillers.

2- I have 318 Producers in my Linkedin #1 connection.

3- Plan for Increasing my perceived value

a. Today: Target Producers to contact regarding my writing samples

b. Next 30 days:

i. Elevate my current script through the rewrite process

ii. Empowerment process

iii. Contact targeted Producers

iv. Develop 6 to 10 more writing samples.

v. Review the Assignments for this course.

c. Next 6 months:

i. Get two writing assignments

ii. Get recommendation from Producer of my current writing assignment

iii. Create a FB subpage for James E. Clark Screenwriter

[James Clark]

Jim Clark is a note taking professional Lesson #10

What I learned from this assignment: There are multiple ways to tell the same story and I need to be open to the collaboration process.

LOGLINE: After the brutal murder of his pregnant daughter, an L.A. abortionist retreats to a simpler life where he raises plants inhabited by the souls of babies he aborted, in a greenhouse – and they communicate with him.

Note Requests:

CUT THE BUDGET IN HALF:

Estimated Budget $15MM Reduced Estimate $7MM

1- Reduce expensive exterior locations

2- Reduce and or eliminate crowd scenes

3- Rework the post tornado disaster scene for simplification

4- Reduce the number of vehicles.

5- Rewrite the opening and character introductions to eliminate expensive crowd and location.

6- Reduce thriller action scenes by increasing the drama between characters.

WRITE IT FOR A DIFFERENT AUDIENCE:

It’s currently written for and audience that believes in the sanctity of life and is in the 3- 65 age bracket.

By eliminating the gritty portions of the story and changing the Protagonist to be a teenage girl who’s the daughter of the abortionist physician, this story could be directed to teens and twenty somethings.

DOUBLE THE CONFLICT

Increase the anxiety of the Protagonist regarding his spiritual changes. Make the struggle for his decision making an intense journey.

CHANGE THE SEX AND AGE OF THE LEAD CHARACTER

1- See WRITE FOR A DIFFERENT AUDIENCE

2- Make the Protagonist a 40 year old female.

CHANGE THE GENRE

It’s currently a faith based thriller. Change it to a dramatic love story as a metaphor for God’s love for mankind.

[James Clark]

Jim Clark’s Decreased Budget

What I learned from this assignment: Simplifying large scenes can have a major impact on the cost as can reducing characters, vehicles, locations, and crowd scenes.

THE GREENHOUSE

Elimination Choices

1- I’m letting go of the Opening that occurs in the large expensive Hollywood hotel.

From first six pages: Eliminate hotel Int./Ext scenes – This takes out two expensive locations, three crowd scenes, one night scene, three characters, a limo and one music right. This should remove four or five pages from the script.

2- The dramatic goal I’m trying to express is the crass, narcissistic world of the abortion industry through the introduction of the Protagonist, Antagonist, and the Sacrificial Lamb.

3- I can accomplish this goal using a Morning Show interview, inexpensive interior locations and character exposition without expositional dialogue.

4- I’m letting go of the scenes at the conference grounds

This eliminates a crowd scene, an expensive location, and a night scene and three pages from the script.

5- The dramatic goal I’m trying to express is that evil has no value of human life and potential.

6- I can accomplish this Through more dramatic confrontation between the Protagonist and the Antagonist and a Zoom meeting between the Antagonist and the FDA bureaucrat.

7- I’m letting go of the scenes of the Nashville offices.

This eliminates Ext./Int. scenes, two characters plus background, an automobile and two pages from the script.

8- The dramatic goal I’m trying to express, is how people are subtly manipulated into the world of abortion and wicca.

9- This can be accomplished my Zoom meetings or a walk in the park with dramatic dialogue.

10- I’m letting go of the scene with the tractor in the garden bed.

This eliminates on character, one vehicle and half a page from the script.

11- The dramatic goal I’m trying to express is the difference between a big city physician trying to be a prepper and the small-town locals.

12- I can accomplish this with dialogue only with another character.

13- I’m letting go of the post tornado disaster at the Nursery

This eliminates an expensive set, heavy equipment and two characters and a page from the script.

14- The dramatic goal I’m trying to express is a reconciliation between the Protagonist and a local who initially despised him.

15- I can accomplish this with a less extensive set and a change in the action.

[James Clark]

NA

[James Clark]

Jim Clark here. I’m ready to do the 2nd Producer Interview process regarding the sequencing of our Treatments. email: bagpiperjim@gmail.com Ph: 951-733-1703

[James Clark]

Jim Clark’s Fantastic Treatment

What I learned from this assignment: Tell the story in a simple/direct way that will allow the Producer to see the film in their mind.

THE GREENHOUSE

THEME: Pro Life

GENRE: Faith Based Drama

STRUCTURE: Three Act Outline

CONCEPT: After the brutal murder of his pregnant daughter, an L.A. abortionist retreats to a simpler life where he raises plants in a greenhouse that acquire the souls of babies he aborted – and they communicate with him.

1: Opening

Introduction of the Protagonist, Geoff Abernathy, MD, L.A. celebrity abortionist; Antagonist, Consuela Richards, CEO of The Reproductive Initiative, a world wide abortion lobby; Amelia, Geoff’s Christian/pregnant daughter and the Inciting Incident character.

Geoff and Consuela are entering a hotel. Amelia and a group of protesters are outside having a Pro Life rally. Geoff approaches Amelia. Consuela tries to go with him. Amelia silently rebuffs her. Geoff had invited Amelia to the evenings event. She refused to attend.

In the hotel ballroom Geoff receives an award from The Reproductive Initiative for being the strongest supporter of women’s rights to abortion. Three pro life protesters sneak into the ballroom and create some chaos.

The after party in a hotel suite is filled with much of the lewd and lasciviousness one would expect from this crowd.

REVEAL: One of the prolife protesters from the ballroom is dead and shoved into the trash chute at the hotel.

Amelia agrees to having dinner with Geoff. He wants Consuela to attend. Amelia reluctantly agrees. At the dinner sparks fly between Amelia and Consuela.

Geoff is providing aborted tissue to the Food & Drug Administration.

2: Inciting Incident

Amelia is brutally murdered in a display of an abortion. The killer leaves a note: “Your two for my two”. Geoff is crushed. He realizes that Amelia’s death is tied to his abortion career. He sells his medical practice and retreats to a simpler life in Bethesda, TN.

3: Act 2

Geoff throws himself into restoring the property he purchased, including a dilapidated greenhouse and an old workshop. He meets Sam, the owner of the local nursery and the Pastor of New Hope Church. Sam gives Geoff guidance on horticulture, bee keeping and life in rural Tennessee. Geoff and Sam become friends.

As the plants in the greenhouse mature, they begin communicating with Geoff. They reveal their names and he realizes that they are babies he aborted. He builds a relationship with the plants. Geoff opens a family medical practice in a restored section of the workshop on his property.

People in town want to drive Geoff away. One woman, Wendy, is the most vocal about it. She works for Sam at the nursery and is a member of his church.

Consuela’s brother Estancio is the “hitman” for The Reproductive Initiative. He’s the one who killed Amelia. He’s now stalking Geoff. Consuela starts paying more attention to the Nashville offices of The Reproductive Initiative. She uses the time to determine how to eliminate Geoff.

Consuela tries to insinuate herself back into Geoff’s life. He rebuffs her. Estancio is stalking Geoff.

Sam introduces Geoff to the joys of jogging up on Heartbreak Ridge and subtlety begins to introduce Geoff to the Gospel.

4: Midpoint

Consuela is revealed to be involved in wicca and child sacrifice. The Doctor of Veterinary Medicine at the Food and Drug administration is also in wicca and child sacrifice. The both attend the “Annual Gathering”.

Consuela burns the plants from the greenhouse that have been transplanted to a garden bed. The smoke from the fire rises up to the forest on Heartbreak Ridge and is absorbed by the trees in the forest.

5: Turning point – End of Act 2

Wendy is fatally injured at the nursery from a tornado. Geoff tries to save her, realizes he can’t and comforts her in her final minutes. She apologizes to him. At Wendy’s funeral, her family rallies around Geoff and thanks him for not letting her die alone.

Geoff is spending time reading Amelia’s Bible and listening to Christian music. Sam is seeing the subtle changes in Geoff’s demeanor.

6. Act Three

Geoff is running alone on Heartbreak Ridge when from the trees he hears the voices of the plants he nurtured in the greenhouse.

Geoff and Sam build a much closer relationship. Sam takes Geoff fishing using it as a metaphor for a life led by the Holy Spirit. Geoff is doing good deeds for people in Bethesda. He begins to understand his need for spiritual justification in Christ. He accepts Christ and is baptized.

7: Crisis

As Geoff and Sam do their weekly run together on Heartbreak Ridge Estancio and Consuela hunt them with the intent to kill them.

8: Conclusion

Geoff and Sam are saved by the trees and the bees
that incapacitate Consuela and Estancio.

[James Clark]

I’d like to coordinate the Producer Interview process with someone.

Thanks

Jim Clark

[James Clark]

Cheryl,

I’m having trouble coordinating the Lesson numbers to the day numbers. Could you please tell me which day number in forums is connected to lesson 6?

Thanks

James Clark

[James Clark]

James E. Clark <b style=”background-color: transparent; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>My unwritten screenplay synopsis for Producer Interview

TITLE: ON BEN TIME

<b style=”background-color: transparent; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>CONCEPT & LOGLINE

Benjamin Franklin, a skirt chasing and hard drinking dullard is trapped in the 21^st century with his brilliant son William who discovers the joy of drugs. To save William, Ben needs to get him back to 1754, but how?

SYNOPSIS

OPENING

Philadelphia 1754

Ben (43) in an Ale House with William (22) having a meal. A couple of rude guys tease Ben for being dumb. Ben smiles. Ooooops! William has seen this before. Ben stands up towering over both of the guys. He challenges them to try to take him down or bet that he can’t swim three miles non stop. They choose the bet, and lose.

INCITING INCIDENT

William and Ben are inside a barn. William explains the pending experiment to Ben who listens and nods but really doesn’t understand. They open the Barn doors. It’s stormy and raining outside. They release a kite into the air while staying relatively safe just inside the barn. On the kite string is an iron key. Thunder and lightening all around them. Suddenly, a simultaneous flash of light and thunder. William and Ben are standing in warm sunlight in the middle of the parking lot of the Philadelphia Eagles stadium.

ACT 1

Ben and William are confused for people auditioning for the Eagles Mascot. They are chosen. William learns how computers work. He researches his name and Ben. There’s nothing on Ben, but William will be the Royal Governor of New Jersey. William is befriended by some of the players and their fans. He’s introduced to drugs. Ben meets and falls for a woman working in the food concession at the stadium, Connie. She’s kind and patient with him. He doesn’t understand the change in William. She explains to Ben the negative impact of drugs. She teaches Ben how to use a computer. It clicks with him (pun intended).

TURNING POINT END OF ACT 1

William can’t stop doing drugs. Ben is becoming popular as the Eagles Mascot, Connie is the daughter of the owner of the Eagles and a detective on the Philadelphia PD. Ben bets team members he can swim three miles non stop. It turns into a big event at the pool at the Eagles training gym challenges team members. Ben wins making thousands of dollars.

ACT 2

Connie modernizes Ben’s look. He learns to shop in department stores, as the mascot he visits children in the hospital, experiences his first trains, planes and automobiles, follows Connie’s lead and tries to eat vegan but… He watches as William deteriorates. Feeling helpless, he determines to save William from his bad decisions.

While on the computer, Ben runs a cross pictures of cast iron stoves. He researches electricity. He researches eyeglasses. He researches time travel.

TURNINGPOINT END OF ACT 2

While walking through Independence Park, Ben and Connie are approached by a man dressed in early twentieth century gentlemen wear. He speaks with an English accent and introduces himself as Bertie Wells. He tells Ben he can help him get William home safely to the very date they left. He admits that he tracks people on computers who research time travel.

ACT 3

With the help of Ben and Bertie, Connie is able to bust the stadium employees who are selling drugs.

CONCEPT & LOGLINE

Benjamin Franklin, a skirt chasing and hard drinking dullard is trapped in the 21^st century with his brilliant son William who discovers the joy of drugs. To save William, Ben needs to get him back to 1754, but how?

SYNOPSIS

OPENING

Philadelphia 1754

Ben (43) in an Ale House with William (22) having a meal. A couple of rude guys tease Ben for being dumb. Ben smiles. Ooooops! William has seen this before. Ben stands up towering over both of the guys. He challenges them to try to take him down or bet that he can’t swim three miles non stop. They choose the bet, and lose.

INCITING INCIDENT

William and Ben are inside a barn. William explains the pending experiment to Ben who listens and nods but really doesn’t understand. They open the Barn doors. It’s stormy and raining outside. They release a kite into the air while staying relatively safe just inside the barn. On the kite string is an iron key. Thunder and lightening all around them. Suddenly, a simultaneous flash of light and thunder. William and Ben are standing in warm sunlight in the middle of the parking lot of the Philadelphia Eagles stadium.

ACT 1

Ben and William are confused for people auditioning for the Eagles Mascot. They are chosen. William learns how computers work. He researches his name and Ben. There’s nothing on Ben, but William will be the Royal Governor of New Jersey. William is befriended by some of the players and their fans. He’s introduced to drugs. Ben meets and falls for a woman working in the food concession at the stadium, Connie. She’s kind and patient with him. He doesn’t understand the change in William. She explains to Ben the negative impact of drugs. She teaches Ben how to use a computer. It clicks with him (pun intended).

TURNING POINT END OF ACT 1

William can’t stop doing drugs. Ben is becoming popular as the Eagles Mascot, Connie is the daughter of the owner of the Eagles and a detective on the Philadelphia PD. Ben bets team members he can swim three miles non stop. It turns into a big event at the pool at the Eagles training gym challenges team members. Ben wins making thousands of dollars.

ACT 2

Connie modernizes Ben’s look. He learns to shop in department stores, as the mascot he visits children in the hospital, experiences his first trains, planes and automobiles, follows Connie’s lead and tries to eat vegan but… He watches as William deteriorates. Feeling helpless, he determines to save William from his bad decisions.

While on the computer, Ben runs a cross pictures of cast iron stoves. He researches electricity. He researches eyeglasses. He researches time travel.

TURNINGPOINT END OF ACT 2

While walking through Independence Park, Ben and Connie are approached by a man dressed in early twentieth century gentlemen wear. He speaks with an English accent and introduces himself as Bertie Wells. He tells Ben he can help him get William home safely to the very date they left. He admits that he tracks people on computers who research time travel.

ACT 3

With the help of Ben and Bertie, Connie is able to bust the stadium employees who are selling drugs.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by  James Clark.

[James Clark]

Looking for someone to trade notes with. My writing sample is on lesson 5.

Jim Clark

[James Clark]

I’d like to team up with someone to exchange notes.

Jim Clark

[James Clark]

LESSON 5 WRITING SAMPLE

Jim Clark’s Writing Sample Plan

What I learned from this assignment: 1- Each pass at the screenplay presents multiple opportunities to improve it. For example, exchanging the word “which” for “what” can intensify the meaning of the dialogue. 2- Being able to do the questionnaire test of meeting the requirements on a 10-page section helps to elevate that section without being overwhelmed. 3- Pulling from another section of the screenplay to heighten the Writing Sample gave me the opportunity to assess multiple carve outs to see which ones would work. Fun!

PAGES 1-10

GENRE: Faith Based Drama

THEME: Prolife.

EXT. HOLLYWOOD CITY SCAPE – NIGHT

A limousine pulls up in front of a high-end hotel. Lots of shouting.

EXT. HOTEL ENTRANCE – NIGHT

GEOFF ABERNATHY (55) and CONSUELA RICHARDS (45) are walking away from the limo. Consuela is dressed for a celebrity event. She walks as if she’s a runway model and knows the spotlight is on her. Geoff, celebrity handsome, lean, and confident carries himself like James Bond at fifty-five; the Armani tux is the cake icing.

Geoff’s phone chirps. He looks and sees the caller is Amelia. He answers.

GEOFF

Hey kiddo. What’s up?

AMELIA (V.O.)

Look to your right.

Geoff looks at the nearby crowd of prolife protestors. At the front of the crowd, he sees AMELIA (22), bright and fresh as a Spring Day, carrying a sign and pointing her finger at him and Consuela.

GEOFF (TO CONSUELA)

I’ll just be a minute.

He walks toward Amelia. Consuela starts to follow. Amelia holds out her palm silently telling Consuela to stay away. She has a small gold cross necklace and is proudly six months pregnant.

EXT. SIDEWALK BY HOTEL – NIGHT

Geoff approaches Amelia.

GEOFF

Doesn’t surprise me. Did you get my invitation?

AMELIA

What are you thinking Dad? I love you, but no.

GEOFF

Got it. I was just hoping. Anything you want me to convey to Consuela?

AMELIA

Yeah. But I’d have to suck on a soap lollipop if I said it.

Geoff places his hand on Amelia’s abdomen. He then hugs her.

GEOFF

Love you with all my heart.

AMELIA

I know.

They break the hug. Amelia stands on her toes and kisses Geoff on the cheek.

Amelia watches as Geoff and Consuela enter the hotel.

EST. HOTEL FRONT DOOR – NIGHT

CONSUELA

(With disdain) Awww, sweet. What’d the brat have to say?

GEOFF

She’s, my daughter. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t refer to her as the brat. If you had kids, you might understand.

CONSUELA

She’s twenty-two, right?

GEOFF

Yeah.

CONSUELA

Brat. Never wanted kids. They’re an imposition.

INT. HOTEL HALLWAY – NIGHT

Plaque next to the Ballroom door reads Malibu Ballroom.

A sign on an electronic screen next to the door reads “Reproductive Initiative Annual Gala”.

INT. BALLROOM – NIGHT

Geoff and Consuela enter the ballroom. The crowded ballroom erupts in applause as Geoff and Consuela work their way to the main table filled with well-heeled and bejeweled folks. They sit side by side. Across the table is a twenty something starlet. Geoff flirts with her. Consuela observes the interchange with the intensity of black widow spider.

INT. BALLROOM – NIGHT

Mealtime is over. Wait staff clearing the tables, serving dessert, and pouring coffee. Audience applauds with fervor.

INT BALLROOM STAGE – NIGHT

At the podium, Consuela is poised and openly confident. The applause begins to subside.

From the back of the room –

MALE (OC)

(SLURRING) I love you, Consuela.

Consuela smiles. Points at the man.

CONSUELA

Thanks. I love you too, especially in your last film. And thanks to all of you. Your generosity will continue to underwrite the protection of women’s reproductive rights for years to come. And now for the glicken event of the evening. Geoff Abernathy needs no introduction. There isn’t an OB/GYN in Southern California that has done as much to support women’s reproductive rights than Dr. Abernathy. Tonight, we honor him for his work and perseverance in providing services to women not just from LA but from around the country and the world. Geoff, step on up and receive your award.

INT. BALLROOM TABLE – NIGHT

Geoff takes a drink from his wine glass, slyly winks at the young starlet across the table who grins back, stands, and walks to the stage and podium.

INT. BALLROOM STAGE – NIGHT

The audience is applauding loudly. At the podium Consuela gives him a kiss on the cheek, then whispers in his ear.

CONSUELA

(WHISPERS) It’s your night Babe. Remember who you’re with.

INT. BALLROOM – NIGHT

At the rear of the room three females dressed as servers gather and unfurl a banner that reads “Abortion is murder”. The room begins to buzz as people realize there are protesters inside. Some people stand and boo the protesters. A couple of people throw food at the protestors.

Security shows up and removes them. The crowd applauds. Just then firecrackers go off in the back of the room, sounding like gun shots.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

INT. BALLROOM STAGE – NIGHT

Geoff protects Consuela but loses his balance and ends up pushing her into the podium which falls over. He, Consuela, and the podium are in a tangled mess on the stage floor. Security comes over helps them up and resets the podium. Consuela straightens her dress. Geoff’s bow tie is askew.

CONSUELA

Well, that was interesting.

Consuela adjusts Geoff’s tie.

CONSUELA (CONT’D)

So how about Geoff Abernathy?

The crowd goes wild with applause.

GEOFF (TO AUDIENCE)

Thank you. Maybe somebody should nominate those gals for a Razzie.

Laughter, applause, and cheers continue.

GEOFF (CONT’D)

Thank you. And thanks to the security staff for the quick response.

Applause and whistles. He raises his hands to quiet the audience.

GEOFF (CONT’D)

You guys are great. And ladies, I really do appreciate the business.

The crowd erupts in more applause as Consuela approaches the podium with a crystal trophy. She leans into the mic and the crowd quiets down.

CONSUELA

For twenty-five years of service to the fairer sex, the Reproductive Initiative would like to present you with our annual Heroes Award.

GEOFF

Thank you, Consuela. And thanks to all of you for supporting her work at the Reproductive Initiative. You’re the brave ones. So, be braver and open those checkbooks. Consuela and the folks at the Reproductive Initiative are counting on your support.

Geoff holds the award high, gives a wave to the audience and steps from the stage.

INT. HOTEL TRASH CHUTE – NIGHT

The body of one of the protestors from the ballroom is wrapped in the banner. A firecracker has been shoved between her lips.

INT. HOTEL SUITE – NIGHT

A crowd fills the room. Most people have drinks. A couple of people are doing lines of coke at the coffee table. Music plays in the background. Consuela is mingling. The young starlet, dressed to ensure her physical attributes are obvious, throws herself at Geoff. He leers. Out of nowhere, Consuela pulls his hand away and hip bumps the girl.

CONSUELA (TO GEOFF)

Keep your eyes, hands, and everything else right where they belong.

She pulls Geoff into a dance hold, and they sway dance.

GEOFF

Tell me something about you I don’t know.

Consuela stops dancing, wanders over to a piano. She lightly fingers some keys, sits down, and starts to run some riffs then breaks into a boogie woogie beat. People start approaching the piano. Geoff moves close to her.

GEOFF (CONT’D)

Full of surprises.

CONSUELA

You have no idea.

She breaks into a strong piano/vocal of “Rockin’ Pneumonia and the Boogie Woogie Flu”. People around the table go wild cheering. Consuela gets up from the piano, links her arm with Geoff and leans into his ear.

CONSUELA (CONT’D)

(WHISPERS) Let’s get out a here.

She bites his ear lobe. He grins.

EXT. TRAIL – DAY

Geoff is running a trail in the Hollywood Hills. He gets to the top, looks at the Hollywood sign then at the Hollywood Bowl. Takes in the morning air, stretches, and enjoys the surrounding nature. Checks his pedometer – six miles.

EXT. MEDICAL BUILDING – DAY

Upscale, building set back from the street, lots of lush foliage. A small brass plaque at the front door reads “Geoff Abernathy, M.D. OB/GYN”.

INT. TREATMENT ROOM – DAY

A woman is on the obstetrics table and is draped by a medical covering. Geoff sits on a stool.

GEOFF

Ready?

The woman nods.

GEOFF (CONT’D)

Just a slight discomfort. You’ll be fine. Won’t take long.

WOMAN

Been on this road trip before.

GEOFF

Okay then. Let’s get started.

INT. NURSING STATION – DAY

Geoff has a small cooler.

NURSE

FDA?

GEOFF

Yeah. Fill out the paperwork for thymus and liver samples. Two more of these will cover the holiday party.

NURSE

Ahhhh, Vegas.

The nurse rubs her hands together.

INT. RECOVERY AREA – DAY

Woman is in severe pain, her face glistening with perspiration as she moans.

INT. NURSING STATION – DAY

Nurse is on the phone.

NURSE

We need an ambulance STAT.

Geoff approaches. He holds his index finger to his lips in the shush format.

NURSE (CONT’D)

… and yeah, no sirens.

As Geoff walks away, he gives a thumbs up.

EXT. PARKING AREA REAR OF MEDICAL BUILDING – DAY

Foliage obscures the view from the street. An ambulance is backed up to the rear entrance to the facility. EMT’s load a gurney into the ambulance. The woman is crying out in pain. The nurse stands by watching. When the ambulance rear doors close. The nurse hands the driver an envelope.

NURSE

A little something for you.

The ambulance leaves with no lights or siren.

EXT. STREET – DAY

Across the street from the back of Dr. Abernathy’s office WOMAN 1 holds a pro-life sign takes a video on her phone of the ambulance pulling out of the rear parking area and leaving.

WOMAN 1

No sirens.

She blasts the e-mail video.

INT. AMELIA’S HOUSE – DAY

Amelia is putting together a crib. Household tools are comfortable in her hands. Amelia’s phone pings. She opens it to a prolife site. She watches the video of the ambulance leaving Geoff’s office location.

AMELIA

Awwwwww. Dad.

She shakes her head.

AMELIA (CONT’D)

Lord, accept that tiny soul into your kingdom. Bring understanding to the mom.

INT. GEOFF’S OFFICE – DAY

Geoff at his desk. He opens a computer log and scrolls to the bottom of the page. In the first column titled Patient Number he enters “34,092”. In the second column he enters 2/11/2021. In the third column he enters “Issues”.

AMELIA (OC)

(CLEARS HER THROAT)

He looks up to see Amelia standing in the door. Geoff smiles and waves her in.

GEOFF

You’re lookin’ good.

Amelia smiles.

AMELIA

Saw a video of an ambulance leaving. No sirens.

Geoff looks at her then avoids her eyes.

GEOFF

Dinner?

AMELIA

Uh huh. The Alps?

GEOFF

Good choice.

Amelia rubs her pregnant tummy.

AMELIA

Can’t wait until I can have a beer with my schnitzel.

GEOFF

I’ll bet. Ummm, mind if invite Consuela?

Amelia hesitates.

AMELIA

The woman killed at the hotel was a good friend of mine.

GEOFF

I’m sorry. Don’t know anything, honest. I, uh, don’t have to ask her. But I really want you two to get to know each other better.

AMELIA

I know all I wanna know. I’ll play nice but…

GEOFF

But Jesus and abortion don’t mix, right?

AMELIA

Absolutely.

GEOFF

How ya doin’?

AMELIA

Navy’s been great. The Chaplain checks in with me each week. He encourages me to visit the cemetery and just chat with Wendell. That helps. Geoff looks at Amelia for a couple of seconds then nods as he texts Consuela.

GEOFF

Let’s go.

INT. THE ALPS RESTAURANT – NIGHT

Amelia sits on one side of the booth, Geoff on the other side. Consuela approaches the booth smiling. She leans over giving Amelia a kiss on the cheek, then sits next to Geoff. They kiss.

CONSUELA

How’s the little one?

Amelia protectively places her hand on her tummy.

AMELIA

Just fine.

CONSUEALA

Didn’t your dad look dashing in his tux?

AMELIA

He’s always been dashing to me.

Consuela takes her time.

CONSUEALA

We’ll never see eye to eye. But can you accept that I’m a part of your dad’s life?

Consuela reaches over and takes Geoff’s hand. She smiles at Amelia.

AMELIA

Just which part might that be?

Consuela and Amelia lock eyes.

CONSUELA

Understood

CONSUELA (VO)

Brat.

AMEILIA

Understood

AMELIA (VO)

Opportunist.

Geoff watches the interaction.

GEOFF

Uh, this is going well. Let’s order.

INT. GEOFF’S HOUSE – DAY

Geoff’s phone rings. He listens.

GOEFF

I’ll be right there.

EXT. AMELIA’S HOUSE – DAY

Emergency vehicles everywhere. Geoff jumps from his car and starts running. DETECTIVE KARLA BENTON steps in front of him placing her hands on his chest, stopping him.

KARLA

You’re Dr. Abernathy?

Geoff nods

KARLA

Trust me. You don’t want to see her like this. Sorry for your loss.

INT. AMELIA’S KITCHEN – DAY

Amelia is crumpled on the floor. Blood splattered everywhere. Amelia’s throat is slit. Next to her is a bloody mass; her baby cut from her womb.

[James Clark]

James E. Clark’s Key Business Decisions

What I learned doing this assignment is… This gives me another gem of an opportunity to refine my work from a global perspective.

1. Give us the decisions that are in your current High Budget script:

Genre: Faith
Based Drama
Title; THE
GREENHOUSE

Concept: After a brutal personal tragedy, an LA abortionist abandons his practice, retreats to a simpler life where he grows plants in a greenhouse where they take on the souls of babies he aborted – and they communicate with him.

Audience: Pro
life groups 25+/Fans of Faith based films

Budget: $30MM

Lead Characters: Geoff Abernathy, MD Providing abortions
is how he got rich, attitude that pre-born is not representative of life; Consuela
Richards CEO of the largest abortion lobby, calloused
emotionally and involved in satanic rituals; Sam, a Pastor in Geoff’s new
home town who befriends Geoff guiding him in understanding the value of all
life.

Journey / Character Arc: Geoff
goes from a humanist abortionist to taking a faith based stand on the
value of life, ALL LIFE.

Opening / Ending:

OPENING: Geoff’s daughter is pregnant and a Christian. Geoff is hard partying, calloused regarding the lives he takes and is the boyfriend of the CEO of the largest abortion lobby. He provides aborted fetal material to the FDA for research. Geoff’s daughter is brutally murdered. Her throat is slit and her child has been removed from her womb.

· ENDING: The plants Geoff has been raising are burned by an arsonist. The smoke from the fire drifts up into the mountains where it’s absorbed by the trees on Heartbreak Ridge. Geoff also has beehives. Those trees now have the souls of babies Geoff aborted. Geoff and Sam are jogging on Heartbreak Ridge. Consuela and her brother are stalking them to kill them. A tree uses it’s roots to capture Consuela’s brother. Consuela is surrounded by a bubble of bees to keep her controlled. Every time she tries to move, she gets stung multiple times.

2. Tell us which of those decisions you could improve to make your script more marketable.

My original Ending was much more intense and scary. I was advised to tone it down. I think I need to go back to my original ending.

[James Clark]

WRITING ASSIGNMENT COURSE

DAY 3

James E Clark’s Specialty

What I learned doing this assignment: Viewing the film as a writer gives me more insight into the story and characters than when I view as an audience member. I think that’s because I’m looking at the film from a totally different perspective. I found myself being more philosophical about the characters and their actions.

Films

1- Lilies Of The Field (1963) Oscar winning film for Best Actor – Sidney Portier DRAMA

How does it deliver on the conventions?

Purpose: Homer Smith struggles with setting aside his care free itinerant life to build a chapel int the New Mexico desert for a group of German nuns.

Character Driven Journey: Homer just wants to do a couple of easy repairs jobs, get paid and be on his way. The Mother Superior appeals to his Protestant upbringing and keeps giving him more and more to do until he too sees the vision of the chapel. It’s a push and pull between Homer and the Mother Superior.

High stakes come from within: Homer is drawn to the open road. He wants to live his life on his terms and be a free spirit. He doesn’t like being told what to do. Once he starts working on the chapel, he begins to see the vision that the Mother Superior has for her people. Mother Superior recognizes that Homer needs stability in his life that can be confirmed by completing a project. She wants that project to be her chapel that she’s been praying for.

Emotionally Resonates: We see Homer torn between his desire to be “on his way” with a few bucks in his pocket vs the constant vision of the Mother Superior’s chapel. When Homer agrees to build the chapel, his ego gets in the way and he refuses help from locals who will be part of the parish. Once he’s confronted with his inability to do the whole job on his own, he agrees to the help. In the end, we see the humble pride and joy that Homer has for the new chapel. It’s a beautiful yet simple chapel. Once done, Homer quietly slips away as he listens to the nuns singing.

Challenging, emotionally charged situations: There’s barely enough food to feed the nuns. But now they have a hard working man – he gets the same rations as the nuns. The Mother Superior talks Homer into driving them to Mass. He obliges and finds that Mass is held outside next to a diner. He gets himself a good meal. Homer gets a job with the local contractor in order to pay for materials for the chapel. He uses part of his earnings to buy groceries for the nuns, including candy. When Homer admits he can’t build the chapel on his own, the locals step in and do the labor. Homer learns that he can be a Supervisor. In the end they all make a good team. In the las scene, Homer slips outside as the nuns are singing. He sings with them. Suddenly, the Mother Superior realizes she can’t hear him. She hears the gravel crunch under his tires. She nods.

OUTLINE:

OPENING: Homer drives into the nun’s property to get water for his radiator and himself. The Mother Superior sees a strong man who can help them with needed repairs. She offers food for the work. She has no money. He gets food but not enough to satisfy a hardworking man.

INCITING INCIDENT: Mother Superior wants Homer to build the chapel. He’s not interested knowing that they can’t pay him and hey can’t pay for materials.

Act 1: Homer meets the travelling Priest and the locals who will be part of the chapel. He also meets the owner of the local diner who’s a strong leader but has stepped away from the Catholic church. Homer lands a job driving heavy equipment for a large contractor who refers to Homer using a racial epithet. Homer responds in kind and shows he can do the job, earning the respect of the contractor. Homer uses his earnings to pay for gas, groceries and small amounts of materials.

TURNING POINT ACT 1: Homer leave unannounced and is gone for a few weeks. He returns agrees to do the chapel seeing it as a mission to be accomplished.

ACT 2: Homer continues to earn respect from the contractor. The Mother Superior lobby’s the contractor for free materials. When blocks cannot be obtained, the locals show up and spend their days making adobe blocks. Homer tries to understand how the nuns think by spending time with the priest. Homer continues to impress the contractor with his skills and the Mother Superior by providing for the nuns grocery needs.

TURNING POINT ACT 2

Homer learns that he can’t construct the chapel all alone. Locals bring gifts for the chapel including doors and a chandelier. They continue to make adobe bricks. The contractor donates material and delivers it himself.

ACT 3

Homer supervises the crew as the chapel takes shape. The contractor watches Homer and admires his supervisory skills. He offers Homer a supervisory position. Homer declines. The last item to complete the chapel is the cross on top of the building. Homer insists that he be the one to do that task. Homer walks around the inside of the chapel making sure everything is to his liking.

ENDING:

Homer finishes dinner with the nuns. They all start singing the song AMEN that Homer taught them when he first arrived. As they sing he steps outside, continues to sing and loads up his car. Inside the Mother Superior realizes she can’t hear him singing. She hears the crunch of gravel as he drives away.

2- Courageous (2011) DRAMA

How does it deliver on the conventions.

PURPOSE: Exploring the lives of men of faith both the strong and the weak as they commit to being husbands and fathers guided by Biblical standards.

CHARACTER DRIVEN JOURNEY: Four Deputies and a day laborer struggle with the impact of life on their family and work relationships.

Nathan Hayes is a strong, loving husband and Dad who models Christian family values. He wants to be better as both a husband and father. He views his position as a Deputy as an opportunity to display Christ like behavior.

Adam Mitchell is a Corporal Deputy who takes care of his men. In his personal life he loves his wife and kids but he’s nominal in giving them any extra time. He’s a Christian and attends church, but his faith is weak. After the loss of his daughter he delves deep into the Word of God finding renewed strength and desire to become a better husband, father and leader of men

Shane Fuller: A divorced man with a weak relationship with his son. He’s a cop with weak resistance. He thinks he’s a Christian but isn’t and he tries to hide that from his friends. He steals drugs to sell so he can pay his alimony and child support. He gets caught by his best friend Adam. He goes to jail and begs forgiveness.

David Thomson: a rookie Deputy. Has no idea what Christianity is about. But he’s surrounded and tutored by men he works with who care about him. He fathered a child while in college. Once he comes to understand his position as a Christian. He makes amends with the mother of his daughter, he begins to provide child support and determines to live life as a godly Dad.

Javier Martinez: A day laborer who struggles to support his wife and two children. He lives life knowing that he’s a child of God. He meets Adam who brings Javier into his circle of friends and they accept him completely. Adam helps Javier find a permanent job. After a few months the owner of the company offers Javier a promotion. To get the promotion Javier must complete a task that isn’t ethical. When Javier declines the job. The Owner of the company tells Javier it was a test and Javier passed the test, the only person to do so.

HIGH STAKES COME FROM WITHIN: Because his daughter is being pursued by a young man he doesn’t trust, Nathan Hayes teaches his fifteen year old daughter what a true man of God should look like and how he should act towards a lady. Adam realized his selfish nature. He chose to make changes that would be beneficial to his son, wife and friends. Shand Fuller is a broken man who when caught, begs Adam to forgive him and asks him to mentor his son. David Thomson risks his deepest emotions by reaching out to the mother of his daughter, not knowing how she would respond. She agrees to let David be a part of their daughter’s life. Javier Martinez has had a sporadic income as a day laborer. Now he has a full time job that he’s good at and likes. When put to the test, he places his integrity above money.

EMOTIONALLY RESONATES: Before she’s killed in a care accident, Adam’s ten year old daughter asks him to dance with her under a tree to music playing on the car radio. He declines and watches as she does the dance alone as if he’s with her. Later Adam returns to that tree. In tears he asks God to let his daughter know that he’s dancing with her now. He dance’s to the same music as if she’s with him. Nathan takes his daughter on a dinner date, gives her a Promise ring and tells her how precious she is to her family and God. Shane weeps over what he’s done and the loss of his relationship with his son and friends. Javier is overjoyed that he got the promotion in the right way.

Challenging, emotionally charged situations: Adam and his friends decide to make a public declaration to be men of courage, declaring their devotion to God a family. They begin to live that in their lives. Adam challenges the men of the church to be men of courage and they respond.

Outline:

OPENING

The audience is introduced to Nathan, Adam and Shane during a car chase where Nathan’s infant son is in the car stolen by a local gang member. David is introduced at “roll call” the next morning.

ACT 1

The relationship between the men is introduced. Adam needs a handyman to help him build a shed in his yard. Javier comes along in God’s perfect timing. They meet and Javier does excellent work. Adam invites him into his circle of friends.

INCITING INCIDENT

Adam’s daughter is invited to a birthday party. She’s picked up by other people going to the party. There’s a car accident and his daughter is killed. Initially, Adam pulls away from his wife and sixteen year old son.

TURNING POINT ACT 1

Adam turns to his pastor and friends for support.

ACT 2

Adam becomes a deliberate student of the Bible. He rebuilds his relationship with his wife and son. He starts studying what it means to be a man, husband, father who places God first in his life. He develops the declaration and introduces it to his friends. The decide that they want to do it too, including Shane. They make it a formal commitment in front of friends and family headed by a pastor. David reaches out to the mother of his daughter. Nathan instructs his daughter on how a man should treat her. Javier gets a full time job and is offered a promotion with a test, which he passes. Adam catches Shane with illegal drugs and arrests him. Adam and Nathan are in a gunfight with local gang members, one of which is the boy trying to date Nathan’s daughter.

TURNING POINT ACT 2

Shane asks Adam to forgive him and to please watch over his son. Nathan spends time with the young gang member in jail doing Bible study. David gets to spend time with his daughter. Adam returns to the location where his daughter asked him to dance with her but he declined. He asks God to forgive him and if God would let her know that Adam’s dancing with her now. Adam agrees to run a 5K with his son.

ACT 3

Adam his son and Shane’s son are all running in the 5K together. Adam and his friends stand up in front of the church where Adam reads the declaration and then challenges men from the church by asking “Where are you men of courage?”.

[James Clark]

WRITING ASSIGNMENT COURSE

DAY 2

James E. Clark’s Credibility is Going Up!

What I learned: I have a significant level of control over my credibility profile.

MY PLAN FOR INCREASING MY CREDIBILITY OVER THE NEXT THIRTY DAYS

1- Complete my current writing audition assignment

2- Continue to reach out to Producers

3- Continue to add to my Linkedin Producer/Manager list.

4- Create a FB subpage to my FB page dedicated to Screenwriter Only

CREDIBILITY CHECKLIST

1. Writing Sample: THE GREENHOUSE meets credibility requirements for genre and business decisions

2. Screenwriting Accomplishments: My short THE LOOK OF LOVE earned 1^st Runner Up at a film festival

3. The Google Factor: None

4. 4. Network: I have 400+ Producers in my Linkedin network. I have 2 A list Actors in my Linkedin network

5. Education: I have a certificate form ScreenwritingU for Pro Series 76 and screenwriting courses at Orange Coast College

6. Borrowed Credibility: NO

7. IMDB Credits: Acting

8. Other forms of credibility related to screenwriting: I do B2B copywriting.

POSSIBLE THINGS I CAN DO TO INCREASE MY CREDIBILITY

1. Enter my screenplay into film festivals

2. Get coverage on my screenplay

3. Have my current writing audition be successful and build a relationship with that Producer

4. Develop a website and market it

5. I have five screenplays the I have written but they need to be totally redone. SO – I’LL REDO THEM!

6. Continue to develop Concepts to pitch to producers.

[James Clark]

James E. Clark

Feature Screenplay: THE GREENHOUSE

Budget: 20 – 30 MM

Concept: On Ben Time

Budget: 50 60 MM

• This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by  James Clark.

[James Clark]

James E. Clark

I agree to the terms of this release form.

[James Clark]

Hi! I’m James E. Clark, but I go by Jim . I’ve written seven scripts. Only one is currently good enough to go to market. One will probably never be good enough. The others I have in a holding pen ready to reattack at some point in the future.

I realize that spec scripts are a very small percentage of income for professional screenwriters. As much as I love the stories I have personally created, I also want to make a living by doing what I’m passionate about – writing.

Uniqueness: I know how to play the bagpipes and as of this coming Friday Nov 5 I will have been married to the love of my life for 44 years. Counting our kids spouses, we have six kids and six grandkidlets.

I hope each of you has a wonderful time in this course. I’m excited about the potential.

Jim

[James Clark]

THIRTY DAY SCREENPLAY ASSIGNMENT #28

James E. Clark – Chronological Edit

What I learned from this assignment: I need to fight the desire to slow down and edit as I go. This has resulted in me having one third of the screenplay done. However, I have all of the undone elements listed as place holders. The screenplay will soon be finished. Secondly, the tools I learned here will help me complete the final versions of another screenplay in process. I completed ProSeries 76. With these two classes ScreenwritingU has been a great boost to my confidence in writing. I love the new platform. My thanks to ScreenwritingU.

EXT. COMPANY HEADQUARTERS – DAY

Signage reads “Company A Seabee Training Facility, Port Hueneme, CA”

Sailors are scrambling to be in the right place in formation and on time. Everyone is at attention. One lone sailor is five seconds late and has to work his way into his place.

Facing the Sailors is a diminutive Sr. Chief Carrie Waters. Five foot nuthin’ and a hundred pounds. She’s wearing immaculate Khaki’s with lots of ribbons including a Purple Heart.

CARRIE

Seaman Quincy front a center.

The late seaman comes forward and faces Carrie.

CARRIE

About face.

Seaman Quincy performs a clean about face.

CARRIE

Explain to your shipmates why you were late to formation.

QUINCY

I was in the restroom Sr. Chief.

CARRIE

Seconds count. If we were in combat you just risked the lives of your shipmates. DO YOU UNDERSTAND SEAMAN?

QUINCY

Yes Sr. Chief. But…

CARRIE

Quincy, I don’t give a rats rosy red hindquarters about your excuses. Understand that and your life will be better. Now, stand at attention and apologize to your shipmates.

Quincy squares his shoulders and stands tall.

QUINCY

Shipmates, I apologize.

CARRIE

Quincy, fall in.

Quincy goes back to his location.

CARRIE (CON’T)

As a result of Quincy being late. The whole company will all stand at attention until the Company Commander and the Master Chief arrive.

As if on cue, the Company Commander and the Master Chief come around the corner. Carrie does an about face, stands at attention.

CARRIE

Company, ATTENTION.

As the Company Commander and the Master Chief approach, she salutes.

CARRIE (CON’T)

All present and accounted for Sir.

MASTER CHIEF

Any problems Sr. Chief.

CARRIE

No Master Chief. We are tight as a drum

Quincy relaxes his facial demeanor.

EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE – DAY

Sr. Chief Waters is watching a Seaman struggle with the operation of a large earthmover.

With ease she scrambles up to the cab.

CARRIE

Hobart, who taught you how to operate this mover?

HOBART

You did Sr. Chief.

CARRIE

And when was your last class session.

`HOBART

Two days ago, Sr. Chief.

CARRIE

Are you unable to retain information Hobart?

Hobart can’t look her in the eye and doesn’t respond.

CARRIE

Seaman, do you plan on embarrassing your Sr. Chief this close to graduation day.

HOBART

No Sr. Chief.

CARRIE

Well then, walk me through the start up procedures.

TWO MINUTES LATER

Carrie is on the ground. Hobart shifts a control. The earth mover begins to move forward. Then it dies.

CARRIE

HOBART! Come ‘ere

Hobart trips trying to get down. He falls to the ground, gets up and dusts the dirt off as he runs to where Carrie is standing. She looks at Hobart and laughs.

CARRIE

Anything broken beside your pride?

HOBART

No Sr. Chief.

CARRIE

Know what you did wrong?

HOBART

Yes Sr. Chief.

CARRIE

Try it again young man.

Hobart scurries back to the earthmover.

MOMENTS LATER

The earthmover is smoothly moving down the dirt road.

INT. CHAPEL CONFERENCE ROOM – NIGHT

Women are milling around chatting and drinking coffee or bottled water. Some are in uniform, some in civies. Carrie is in civies.

CARRIE

Okay ladies, grab Bible, your coffee and treats. Time to start.

As the ladies sit, they’re still chatting about their husbands.

As Carrie listens, she looks down at her left ring finger. She looks up while reaching over with her right hand to touch where a ring would have been.

CARRIE

First question, why was Deborah placed into the position of a Judge?

Bible study is over.

WOMAN 1

What do you want to do when you retire?

CARRIE

Assuming I make Master Chief, I’ve got seven more years left for a round thirty. After that, I want to visit all of the states I haven’t been to yet.

WOMAN 2

How many’s that?

CARRIE

Thirteen.

INT. DOJO – NIGHT

Carrie, 3^rd degree Black Belt is teaching a class of kids ages 8-15. She pairs the kids up by age and size on the mat.

An 11-year-old boy gets too rambunctious and hurts a girl in the class.

CARRIE

Andrew, to the side and kneel. You will remain there until the end of class.

She confronts the boy by asking him how much he likes being at the Dojo. He loves it. She gives him a serious reprimand.

As the students leave the mat and pick up their belongings, Carrie approaches Andrew.

CARRIE

How long you been coming to class?

ANDREW

My fourth week.

CARRIE

And now you think you know it all. Do you like coming to class.

ANDREW

Yes sensei.

CARRIE

If I see that again, you’ll be out of class. And remember, I’m in Bible study with your Mom.

Andrew drops his head.

ANDREW

Yes sensei.

INCITING INCIDENT

INT. NAVY MEDICAL OFFICE – DAY

Carrie sitting on the exam table. The physician is reading lab reports then looks at MRI results. Carrie studies him for any hints. None.

CARRIE

Indigestion? Virus?

PHYSICIAN

Life isn’t always fair Sr. Chief… Carrie, you have pancreatic cancer. You’re in superb physical shape. You’ll probably be able to last longer than most. But, it could be anywhere from six months to two years.

EXT. FRONT OF MEDICAL CENTER – DAY

Carrie stands and stares into nothingness. Then starts to shake. Then SCREAMS. She turns and faces.

REAR ADMIRAL

Everything okay Sr. Chief Waters?

CARRIE

Nothing I can’t resolve Admiral.

She salutes him. He salutes back and they part ways.

INT. BASE GYM – NIGHT

Carrie is wailing on the body bag. She gives it one final punch with a SCREAM.

She turns. Yup, the Admiral in sweats just finishing his workout.

REAR ADMIRAL

Chief?

CARRIE

All under control, Sir.

BEAT

REAR ADMIRAL

Uh huh. I can see that.

INT. BATALLION COMMANDERSERS OFFICE

Beginning

Sr, Chief Waters enters the Commanders office dressed in Khakis. She stands at attention

CARRIE

Sr. Chief Waters reporting as ordered Sir.

CAPTAIN

At ease, Sr. Chief.

Carrie laces her hands behind her back and relaxes, slightly.

The Command Master Chief of the base is standing to the side of the Captains desk. He smiles at Carrie.

CAPTAIN (CON’T)

Thank you for coming in Sr. Chief.

CARRIE

Sir.

The Captain looks down then back up at Carrie and purses his lips.

CAPTAIN

We met with your physician earlier today.

Carrie looks from the Captain to the Command Master Chief and then back. She straightens her back and raises her head high.

CARRIE

Sir.

CAPTAIN

You must be aware of what’[s coming.

CARRIE

Yes Sir. No promotion to Master Chief and no thirty year career.

CAPTAIN

We’ve known each other a long time. You helped a young Ensign become a better Seabee officer

CARRIE

Yes Sir. Thank you, Sir.

The Captain walks around the desk, take her hands into each of his.

CAPTAIN

I’m so sorry Carrie. I wish…

CARRIE

I know sir. It’s okay.

NOTE: CHANGE “CAPTAIN’ TO LEIUTENANT.

EXT. BASE HOUSING – DAY

Carrie turns to walk into her unit. She kicks over her flowers in front of her place. She picks up a ceramic pot and smashes it on the ground, and SCREAMS, just a s a Harley pulls up and stops. She looks. The helmet is taken off and there sits the Rear Admiral. He gets off the bike and stops at her property line.

REAR ADMIRAL

I spoke with your Captain today. I’m very sorry
Sr. Chief. I was looking forward to having you on my staff as Master Chief.

CARRIE

That would have been nice Admiral.

They shake hands. She watches as he drives away. Then turns and cries.

EXT. AUCTION SITE – DAY

Carrie walks around checking out various school busses. She makes a notation on two of them. Her notes indicate how much she will bid.

The auctioneer is getting bids on her first choice. He calls out her top number.

AUCTIONEER

Twenty Two thousand.

Carrie raises her hand.

AUCTIONEER

I have twenty two do I hear twenty three?

No response. Carrie looks around the room.

CARRIE (VO)

I’ve got it.

MALE VOICE (VO)

Twenty two five.

Carrie scratches that one from her list.

LATER

The auctioneer is getting bids on her second choice. Her nots read eighteen thousand max.

AUCTIONEER

I’ve got fifteen six. Do I hear sixteen ?

Carrie raises her paddle.

AUCTIONEER

I’ve got sixteen. Do I hear seventeen?

No response.

AUCTIONEER

Do I hear sixteen five?

No response.

AUCTIONEER

Sold to the lady in the Navy sweatshirt.

She drives it off the lot.

EXT. NAVY BASE MECHANIC SHOP – DAY

Loud noise and banging from inside the bus. A pile of bus seats are in a pile outside the bus.

INT. BUS – DAY

Carrie is ripping the seats out of the bus. She’s angry, crying and forceful as she works.

CARRIE

Why? Why, God?

LATER

All the seats are out. She’s curled up in a ball on the floor of the bus crying.

CARRIE

I’ve loved you. I tried. What do you want?

Command Master Chief sticks his head in the door of the bus. He sees and hears Carrie. He comes inside the bus. He places his hand on her shoulder.

COMMAND MASTER CHIEF

Lord, give her the peace that only you can provide. Give her joy in you.

Carrie sits up, wipes her eyes with her forearm and nods to him.

COMMAND MASTER CHIEF (CON’T)

Martha expects you for dinner this Sunday after church. Don’t make me have to order you, ‘cause I’ll never hear the end of it from her if you’re not there.

CARRIE

Aye, aye, Command Master Chief.

EXT. BUS – DAY

Carrie lifts the hood and starts taking note of what mechanical issues need to be resolved.

EXT. BASE CHAPEL – DAY

Carrie exits carrying her Bible. She nods to the Chaplain as she leaves.

EXT. BASE HOUSING – DAY

Carrie approaches the front door carrying a bunch of flowers.

EXT. PARADE GROUND – DAY

Company A is at attention. Families sit in chairs facing the podium.

MASTER CHIEF

Forward March.

Carrie leads Company A as they march past the podium which holds the Battalion Commander, Command Sergeant Major and the Admiral. As Carrie and the first rank come abreast of the podium …

MASTER CHIEF

Eyes right!

All heads snap right as they march by.

INT. CARRIE’S HOUSING – NIGHT

Carrie has a map of the US. She’s coloring in all the states she has been to – total of 37. She pours herself a drink.

Carrie is on YouTube watching videos of RV life. She simultaneously is making a list of what she wants to see in the states she’s never seen. She’s now drinking straight from the bottle.

Carrie is passed out on her bed. Her cat is curled up next to her. The empty bottle is tipped over on the night stand.

EXT. NAVY BASE MECHANIC SHOP – NIGHT

Carrie is putting the final touches on her Bus. Functional but feminine.

INT. BUS – DAY

The Women’s Bible Study is having their last meeting with Carrie. They’re laughing and giggling. More fellowship than Bible study going on.

CARRIE

So that’s it. I admit I drank myself into oblivion.

The women surround her letting her know how much she’s loved by them. They pray for her.

INT. DOJO – NIGHT

The kids surround Carrie giving her hugs which she returns. A little girl gives her a bouquet of daisies.

CARRIE

I’m so gonna miss you guys.

INT. BASE PERSONEL OFFICE – DAY

Carrie is standing at the counter. The clerk hands her a package.

CLERK

There ya go Sr. Chief. You are now an official Veteran.

EXT. NAVY BASE GATE – DAY

Carrie’s RV is pulling out of the gate at Port Hueneme, CA.

EXT. PACIFIC COAST HIGHWAY – DAY

Carrie is driving through the countryside north of Santa Barbara.

EXT HILLS – DAY

Carrie pulls into Ronald Reagan’s ranch Casa de La Cielo. She visits the museum.

EXT. PACIFIC COAST HIGHWAY – DAY

Carrie stops just south of Big Sur and watches the ocean and waves as she eats her meal. She’s enjoying the view and serenity.

She gets out and walks a path down to the water.

INT. RV – NIGHT

Carrie is cleaning up form dinner and watching other campers at the campground move about.

EXT. CAMPGROUND – NIGHT

Carrie is out for a walk. She spots an RV with a Navy Sr. Chief decal. She wanders over. A husband and wife are sitting outside enjoying the evening.

CARRIE

Hi. Carrie Waters. Just retired this week. What was your rate?

MAN

Corpsman. You?

CARRIE

Seabee.

WOMAN

Good for you. Rank?

CARRIE

Sr. Chief. Enjoy your evening.

MAN

You too.

Carrie starts to walk away.

MAN

Hey, you ever serve in Afghanistan?

CARRIE

Yeah. Attached to a SEAL Team.

MAN

Me too. Were you injured by a rocket launched grenade? Have a vertical scar on your chest from surgery.

Carrie nods.

MAN (CON’T)

I was in the operating room. We almost lost you three times. Glad to see you made it.

CARRIE

Thanks.

She waves as she leaves.

EXT. CHURCH PARKING LOT – DAY

Modesto, CA. Carrie has found a small church that needs some sprucing up.

INT. CHURCH OFFICE – DAY

CARRIE

I’d like to volunteer to do some repair work at my expense.

EXT PARKING LOT – DAY

Carrie unloads a couple of doors and plumbing parts.

INT. HALLWAY – DAY

Carrie checks a door to make sure it opens and closes easily. It does.

INT. BATHROOM – DAY

Carrie flushes the toilet. Works just fine. No leaks.

EXT. CHURCH – DAY

Carrie amends the soil in a flower bed, plants flowers and waters them.

Carrie replacing a door. Carrie fixing a toilet. Carrie painting a room. Carrie fixing the sprinkler system. Carrie planting flowers.

EXT. BRYCE CANYON – NIGHT

Carrie exits the RV with her coffee cup. She wanders over to the edge of the canyon and waits.

The sun starts to rise. She watches as the canyon walls change color with the rising sun.

CARRIE(VO)

Your creation is more beautiful than any man made art work.

INT. RV – DAY

Colorado. Carries is driving through a rural area. She passes a private Christian school. In the front is a flag pole that is leaning with a tattered and faded US flag.

INT. HARDWARE STORE – DAY

Carrie has a bag of cement, a rope, a two by four and a new US flag and a state flag.

EXT. SCHOOL – DAY

The flag pole is straight . It has a new lanyard and a new flag flying in the breeze

Students are standing around. The principal shakes Carrie’s hand.

EXT. PICNIC TABLE CAMP GROUND – DAY

Carrie is looking at a Christian website that posts volunteer positions. She sees one for a church camp in need of someone with construction experience. She copies her resume, pasts it into the volunteer application and off it goes.

INT. BUS – DAY

Carrie pulls up to the entrance to the church camp. The sign is missing boards so the whole name is not visible.

CARRIE

First impressions last. I’ll start there.

INT. CAMP OFFICE – DAY

Carrie is standing at the counter.

SECRETARY

… and we’re so excited to have you with us Miss Waters.

CARRIE

I’ve seen some of your needs. Glad to help. Can I meet the camp director.

SECRETARY

He’s out of town for a few days. He gave me a list of things to be done.

CARRIE

Where can I park my bus?

INT. BUS – NIGHT

Carrie is looking at the list. The front sign is at the top of the list. Second on the list is a new fire suppression system for the kitchen oven.

CARRIE

My sentiment too.

INT. COUNTY BUILDING PERMIT OFFICE – DAY

COUNTY OFFICIAL

I’m familiar with your kitchen. It’s a mess. You’re going to have sixty days to bring it all up to code.

Carrie reads the list.

CARRIE

I came in regarding the fire suppression system. I’ve assessed the rest of the kitchen. Your list seems aggressive. This will add twenty thousand dollars to the cost.

COUNTY OFFICIAL

Not my problem. The camp has been skirting the code for years. Christians think they’re above the law.

INT. CAMP OFFICE – DAY

CARRIE

… and the guy was an absolute jerk. He doesn’t think highly of the camp or Christians. Bureaucrat!

NELSON

You still don’t suffer fools well do you?

Carrie freezes, then slowly turns to see Nelson the Camp Director smiling at her. She can’t respond.

NELSON(CON’T)

Speechless eh?

Carrie storms out of the office.

EVERYTHING BELOW THIS LINE IS A PLACE HOLDER

INT. WORKSHOP – DAY

Carrie is cutting boards.

NELSON

What’s that for ?

CARRIE

Entrance sign. You do a lousy job of taking care of your assets.

NESLON

Just arrived two weeks ago.

CARRIE

Well… you coulda done more.

NELSON

I know. I could of robbed a bank to pay for it and brought in a crew. Would have been done to your satisfaction, I’m sure.

CARRIE

Doubt that. So, you knew I was coming?

NELSON

Nope. The Office Manager set it up.

CARRIE

Huh. I’ll finish the entrance sign then I’ll take off. The bureaucrat is your problem.

Carrie is holding her left ring finger with her right hand. Nelson notices.

NELSON

Sounds like you have the problem.

CARRIE

Not casting pearls to swine.

NELSON

LAUGHS

Carrie is flustered

CARRIE

Jerk.

NELSON

That would be Command Master Chief Jerk to you.

CARRIE

I heard.

With the hint of a smile.

Carrie takes the boards over to the belt sander and starts sanding.

EXT. FRONT GATE – DAY

Carrie is reassembling the sign. It looks great. Crunching sound on the gravel.

NELSON

Looks nice. Still leaving?

CARRIE

Reconsidering.

NELSON

That guy at the permit office is a regular swamp rat. He’s willing to back off… for a special gift.

CARRIE

Handcuffs work.

NELSON

Sharp edged ones. We’ve got a volunteer crew from several churches coming in soon. I could use you to train them on how to use tools and safety precautions. Then supervise the projects.

NOTE: EVERYTHING BELOW THIS LINE IS A PLACE HOLDER

Middle

INT. FINE DINING RESTAURANT – NIGHT

Nelson slides a ring box to her. She opens it and sees it’s the same one she wore twelve years earlier.

Carrie revels her illness to Nelson. She tells him she needs to compete her journey or until she can’t do any more. He asks her to wear the ring until she is done with her journey or has to return. She says she’ll think about it – but keeps the box.

EXT. CAMP GROUND – DAY

Carrie is in Vermont in the Green Mountains. She runs into some nomads she met at her first Boondock site. They’re heads south to Florida.

Carrie’s headed north to Maine. She tells them she might see them in Florida later.

Carrie’s energy level is declining.

EXT. MOUNT KADYDIN MAINE – DAY

Carrie hikes to the top, slowly.

EXT. TOP OF MOUNT KATYDIN – DAY

Carrie looks at the panorama. There’s a plaque at the top that reads “Terminus- Appalachian Trail.

End

INT. RV – NIGHT

Carrie is reading and drinking a cup of tea. Her nose starts to bleed.

She opens her map. She has three states left, South Carolina, Georgia and Florida. She opens the jewelry box and looks at the ring. She taps her ring finger on the Florida Keyes.

EXT. CAMP WORKSHOP – DAY

Carrie is teaching the volunteers how to use specific tools.

Carrie asks who want to learn how to operate the skip loader.

EXT. FIRE BREAK – DAY

Volunteers watch and listen to Carrie as she gives instructions. A twenty something gal jumps up as the first student. The skip loader jerks around as she tries to drive it.

TE 10b

INT. DINING HALL – NIGHT

Nelson and Carrie are enjoying some quiet time together. He slides a ring box across the table. She recognizes it. It’s the same engagement ring she wore twelve years earlier.

He asks her to marry him. She confesses she’s still in love with him.

She tells him her journey isn’t over yet and she has to do it on her own. She keeps the ring box but doesn’t opens it.

INT. NELSON’S OFFICE – DAY

He’s on the phone with his sister who’s a producer of documentaries.

EXT. BUS – DAY

Sarah, Nelson’s sister is interviewing Carrie about her journey.

At the end of the interview Sarah tells Carrie she glad Carrie is back in Nelson’s life and that he has not had a relationship since they ended their engagement twelve years earlier.

Carrie agrees to do a video blog on the rest of her journey.

TE 11

Sarah books Carrie for an interview on TBN.

INT. STAGE – DAY

Interview asks Carrie why the Navy. Carrie gives her story. Orphan. Was given a birth name by the orphanage. She changed it legally to Carrie Waters because she liked the serving concept of Chop Wood and Carry Water. The Navy was another opportunity to serve and have a great career.

INT. BATTALION COMMAND MASTER CHIEF’S OFFICE – DAY

The TV is on TBN. The interview finishes up. Battalion Commander is also watching.

COMMAND MASTER CHIEF

Thata girl.

Battalion Commander smiles and nods.

TE 14

INT. MOTEL ROOM – DAY

Carrie asks Nelson to mark off Florida and bring her the map. All fifty states have been marked off.

NELSON

Proud of you Babe.

Write The Outlined Scenes

Te9B

EXT. CAMP WORKSHOP – DAY

Carrie is holding up a pair of safety glasses.

CARRIE

Again, how many pairs of eyes do you have?

VOLUNTEERS

ONE!

CARRIE

So the glasses…

VOLUNTEERS

SAVE EYES!

CARRIE

Who wants to learn how to drive the skip loader?

Every hand goes up.

EXT. FIRE BREAK – DAY

The volunteers are lined up next to the skip loader. Carrie has a young twenty something gal behind the controls.

CARRIE

Keep the clutch down unless your driving. This controls the bucket. Forward is down, back is up right tilts the bucket up, left tilts the bucket down. Got it?

Carrie jumps of and signals the girl to start. The engine starts, she lifts the bucket off the ground. She tries to put it in gear and the gears grind.

CARRIE

Push in the clutch. Then put it in gear.

The girl follows Carrie’s instruction. The skip loader lurches forward and dies. Crowd laughs. Girl does too.

EXT. CAP – DAY

Carrie and the volunteers are walking back for lunch.

CARRIE

You all did a great job.

VOLUNTEER

When do we get to try the road grader?

CARRIE

That’s a track vehicle. Operates very differently than a wheeled vehicle. Tell you what. Join the Army and sign up for Armor. You’ll get all the track driving you could ever want.

VOLUNTEER

Just might do that.

TE 10b

INT. DINING HALL – NIGHT

Carrie is sitting at a table. Nelson walks up with two cups in his hands

NELSON

Hot chocolate as requested.

Carrie smiles.

CARRIE

Thanks. Why here?

NELSON

It’s peaceful. And… anyway, I love the outdoors.

CARRIE

I understand.

NELSON

Why help out for free and cover the materials too?

CARRIE

Chop wood – carry water.

Nelson slides the ring box across the table to her. It’s the same one she had twelve years prior.

CARRIE (CON’T)

I love you. I do. But I’m not sure.

NELSON

Got it. Keep the ring. If you decide to wear it, so much the better.

NELSON

You mind if I share your story with Sarah?

CARRIE

I haven’t talked to her in years. She still with TBN?

NELSON

Yeah. This might make a great documentary.

CARRIE

I don’t know…

NELSON

What better way to chop wood and carry water than to share your story?

CARRIE

Who’s story?

NELSON

Yeah, got it. Jesus.

TE 11

EXT BUS – DAY

TBN is set up with directors chairs, lights and camera. Sarah and Carrie are miced.

SARAH

Carrie, why are you making this journey?

LATER

SARAH

Wrap. (TO CARRIE) I’m glad you and Nelson have reconnected.

CARRIE

That doesn’t mean th…

SARAH

Of course. No matter the outcome, your relationship is built on Christ. Did you know that he hasn’t gone out with or dated anyone since you guys broke up.

CARRIE

That’s like him. Me too.

SARAH

Not surprised.

INT. COMMAND MASTER CHIEF’S OFFICE – DAY

TV is on TBN.

CHIEF

Thata girl.

Battalion Commander is in the office. He smiles.

TE 14

INT. MOTEL ROOM – DAY

Carrie’s in bed.

CARRIE

Please, hand me my map and a marker.

Carrie marks Florida. She’s hit all fifty states.

NELSON

Proud of you Babe.

CARRIE

My purse please.

Nelson hands her the purse. She reaches in and pulls out the ring box. She hands it to Nelson. He opens the box and she holds out her left ring finger. He slides it on. It’s very loose on her hand.

CARRIE

One of the downsides of weight loss.

INT. RV – DAY

Carries interview with Sarah on TBN has gone viral. She opens her blog to see hundreds of responses. She shows Nelson.

NELSON

What are you going to do?

CARRIE

Respond to every one of them.

Nelson pulls her hand to him and kisses it.

NELSON

So proud of you.

MONTAGE

-Carrie blogs while Nelson drives. As she blogs she listens to instrumental praise music.

-At every stop along the way she takes incognito photos of people and posts them on her blog.

– Nelson and Carrie are in a diner. She’s in her wheel chair. Two pre-teen girls come up to her and ask for her autograph. She obliges. Nelson takes a photo of Carrie the girls and their Mom. Carrie posts the photo on her blog

– The town where the camp is located has banners welcoming Carrie back. Nelson drives slowly through the town. People are lining the street waving and cheering.

EXT. CAMP – DAY

Camp staff are out in full force to welcome Carrie and Nelson back.

Snow is on the ground. Nelson helps Carrie from the bus and helps her into a wheel chair.

WOMAN 1

We set up a cabin for you.

CARRIE

Thanks. I’ll like that.

INT. CABIN – DAY

Carrie blogs that her time is near. She’s sorry to be leaving this life but excited for the next. This will be her final blog. She reminisces about her life as an orphan, legally changing her name to Carrie Waters, her Navy career as a Seabee, being one of the first females in the Seabees, breaking Nelson’s heart and him taking her back 12 years later, her walk with Christ, Her opportunity to have been in every state.

CARRIE’S FINAL ENTRY: “Thank you to all of you who have been following with me on this path. To those of you who are Today Friends, I pray the very best for you. To my Forever friends, I’ll see you soon.”

INT. CABIN – DAY

Nelson is putting wood in the fire place.

CARRIE

Thanks. I’ll be fine. Go get settled back in.

NELSON

See you at dinner. Cook’s making your favorite.

CARRIE

Chicken feet. Yum!

NELSON

Cook can do that too.

INT. DINING HALL – NIGHT

The dining hall is decorated for Christmas. The countdown to Christmas reads six days.

Carrie is seated at a table. Staff is going through the chow line.

Nelson approaches the table with two trays. He sets one in front of Carrie. It’s meat loaf, mashed potatoes and peas. On tip of the mashed potatoes is a yellow PEEP.

Carrie looks at Nelson then at the staff watching her and she breaks out laughing.

EXT. CAMP – DAY

Nelson pushes Carrie on a trail by the pond.

NELSON

Warm enough?

CARRIE

Uh huh.

INT. WORKSHOP – DAY

Carrie visits with the Maintenance man.

MAINTENANCE MAN

How would you run new electrical lines for the exterior spot lights?

Carrie and the Maintenance man are going over a drawing of her ideas.

EXT. FIRE BREAK – DAY

Nelson lifts Carrie into the seat of the Grader. He stays with her. She starts the engine.

Carrie clears snow from the fire break.

CARRIE

I’d say I’m going to miss this. But I have a mansion waiting and I’m looking forward to being there.

NELSON

I’m sure it’s a beaut.

INT. CABIN – DAY

Carrie’s in bed. Nelson brings her breakfast.

NELSON

Merry Christmas Eve. I bring sustenance.

CARRIE

You’re too good for me.

NELSON

Not so. Yet, thanks.

CARRIE

Do me one more favor?

EXT. FIRE BREAK – DAY

Nelson lifts Carrie into the seat of the Grader. He stays with her. She starts the engine.

Carrie clears snow from the fire break.

CARRIE

I’d say I’m going to miss this. But I have a mansion waiting and I’m looking forward to being there.

NELSON

I’m sure it’s a beaut.

EXT. CAMP PARKING LOT – NIGHT

Nelson lifts Carrie from the wheel chair and puts her in his truck.

EXT. ROAD – NIGHT

The headlights shine off the snowy trees.

NELSON

One of my favorite spots coming up.

EXT. LAKESIDE – NIGHT

Nelson

Looks like we got the timing right.

CARRIE

What?

NELSON

Shhh. Just watch, over those trees.

Nelson points

Slowly a full moon that’s bright orange begins to rise over the trees. Carrie cries.

CARRIE

Oh Nelson, it’s beautiful.

Carrie snuggles into his arm.

NELSON

You’re my full moon.

They watch as the moon rises higher. Nelson hears a long exhale. She’s no longer breathing.

Nelson cries, then deep sobs.

NESLON

Someday, I’ll come visit you in your mansion.

HOLDING AREA

EXT. WOODS – DAY

Carrie and Nelson are walking and talking

[James Clark]

THIRTY DAY SCREENPLAY ASSIGNMENT #27

James E. Clark – Solved Scene Problems!

What I learned from this assignment: This process is time consuming in a good way. It slows me down to look at the Acts and Scenes from a more critical viewpoint.

I chose to focus on Act One, Scenes 1,2 and 3.

Act 1 Scene 1

A: Basic Scene Problems

Most important Purpose: Introduction of Protagonist; juxtapose tough leader with Christian kindness.

Action: Current Bible study place holder should be filled in with a time of tenderness and prayer.

Move story forward: The scene does well here.

Conflict: Carrie’s diminutive size compared to her career as a Navy Seaabee. Uniqueness.

ARC: The Arc is strong but could use a little something between the Dojo and the Inciting Incident.

B: Weak Scene

Improve the Arc: Use prayer from the Bible study

Increase the conflict: Company Master Chief and the unskilled kid on the earth mover.

Raise stakes: Company Master Chief questions the skills of two of her recruits.

C: Challenge the Characters:

Goal: Travel

Need: Make Master Chief

Value: Navy/Christ

Wound: Have Carrie contemplate her ring finger while other Bible study women talk about their husbands

Act 1 Scene 2

A: Basic Scene Problems

Purpose: Introduce the problem Carrie is facing – Good

Move story forward: Yes

Conflict: Conflict: She’s dying.

Arc: Yes

B: Weak Scenes

Arc: Good

Conflict: Good

Stakes: High

Interest Technique: Increase the level of surprise of the diagnosis.

C: Challenge the characters

Goal: Get through the grief process

Need: Start her new life

Values: Help People:

Wound: Why has God allowed this?

Interest Technique: Assumed betrayal by God.

Act 1 Scene 3

A: Basic scene problems:

Purpose: Introduce how Carrie will spend her remaining days.

Move story forward: Good

Conflict: Choice of three. Strong

Clear Arc: Yes, in place

B: Weak Scenes

Stronger Arc: Have Carrie attend dinner with the Command Master Chief and his family.

Conflict: Yes – strong

Stakes: Add a race against time.

Interest technique: Increase the anxiety of the audience.

C: Challenge Characters

Goal: Make every state she has not been i9n.

Need: Experience life outside of the Navy

Value: Remaining time

Wounds: She is surprised when she takes a job where she reconnects with her former fiancé.

Interest technique: Love.

ACT 1

OPENING

EXT. COMPANY HEADQUARTERS – DAY

Signage reads “Company A Seabee Training Facility, Port Hueneme, CA”

Beginning

Sailors are scrambling to be in the right place in formation and on time. Everyone is at attention. One lone sailor is five seconds late and has to work is way into his place.

Middle

Facing the Sailors is a diminutive Sr. Chief Carrie Waters. Five foot nuthin’ and a hundred pounds. She’s wearing immaculate Khaki’s with lots of ribbons including a Purple Heart.

CARRIE

Seaman Quincy front a center.

The late seaman comes forward and faces Carrie.

CARRIE

About face.

Seaman Quincy performs a clean about face.

CARRIE

Explain to your shipmates why you were late to formation.

QUINCY

I was in the restroom Sr. Chief.

CARRIE

Seconds count. If we were in combat you just risked the lives of your shipmates. DO YOU UNDERSTAND SEAMAN?

QUINCY

Yes Sr. Chief. But…

CARRIE

Quincy, I don’t give a rats rosy red hindquarters about your excuses. Understand that and your life will be better. Now, stand at attention and apologize to your shipmates.

Quincy squares his shoulders and stands tall.

QUINCY

Shipmates, I apologize.

CARRIE

Quincy, fall in.

Quincy goes back to his location.

CARRIE (CON’T)

As a result of Quincy being late. The whole company will all stand at attention until the Company Commander and the Master Chief arrive.

As if on cue, the Company Commander and the Master Chief come around the corner.

CARRIE (CON’T)

All present and accounted for Sir.

MASTER CHIEF

Any problems Sr. Chief.

CARRIE

No Master Chief. We are tight as a drum

Quincy relaxes his facial demeanor.

MASTER CHIEF

That is good to hear Sr. Chief Waters.

The company has been dismissed and are headed to their work areas. Master Chief is with Carrie.

MASTER CHIEF

Carrie, I’m worried about Hobart an Quincey. What’s your plan to bring them into the fold?

Carrie looks down then back up and looks the Master Chief in the eye.

EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE – DAY

Beginning

Sr. Chief Waters is watching a Seaman struggle with the operation of a large earthmover.

Middle

With ease she scrambles up to the cab.

CARRIE

Hobart, who taught you how to operate this mover?

HOBART

You did Sr. Chief.

CARRIE

And when was your last class session.

`HOBART

Two days ago Sr. Chief.

CARRIE

Are you unable to retain information Hobart?

Hobart can’t look her in the eye and doesn’t respond

CARRIE

Seaman, do you plan on embarrassing your Sr. Chief this close to graduation day.

HOBART

No Sr. Chief.

CARRIE

Well then, walk me through the start up procedures.

TWO MINUTES LATER

Carrie is on the ground.

Hobart shifts a control. The earth mover begins to move forward. Then it dies.

CARRIE

HOBART!

Hobart trips trying to get down. He falls to the ground, gets up and dusts the dirt off as he runs to where Carrie is standing. She looks at Hobart and laughs.

CARRIE

Try it again young man.

Hobart scurries back to the earthmover.

MOMENTS LATER

The earthmover is smoothly moving down the dirt road.

INT. CHAPEL CONFERENCE ROOM – NIGHT

Beginning

Women are milling around chatting and drinking coffee or bottled water. Some are in uniform, some in civies. Carrie is in civies.

CARRIE

Okay ladies, grab Bible, your coffee and treats. Time to start.

Middle

As the ladies sit, there still chatting about their husbands.

As Carrie listens, she looks down at her left ring finger. She looks up while reaching over with her right hand to touch where a ring would have been.

They are going through the story of Deborah in the Book of Judges. Carrie asks pointed questions of the participants to keep them engaged.

End

Bible study is over.

WOMAN 1

What do you want to do when you retire?

CARRIE

Assuming I make Master Chief, I’ve got seven more years left for a round thirty. After that, I want to visit all of the states I haven’t been to yet. Right now I’ve checked of thirty seven states.

INT. DOJO – NIGHT

Beginning

Carrie, 3^rd degree Black Belt is teaching a class of kids ages 8-15. She pairs the kids up by age and size on the mat.

Middle

An 11-year-old boy gets too rambunctious and hurts a girl in the class.

CARRIE

Andrew, to the side and kneel. You will remain there until the end of class.

End

She confronts the boy by asking him how much he likes being at the Dojo. He loves it. She gives him a serious reprimand.

As the students leave the mat and pick up their belongings, Carrie approaches Andrew.

CARRIE

How long you been coming to class?

ANDREW

My fourth week.

CARRIE

And now you think you know it all. Do you like coming to class.

ANDREW

Yes sensei.

CARRIE

If I see that again, you’ll be out of class. And remember, I’m in Bible study with your Mom.

Andrew drops his head.

ANDREW

Yes sensei.

INCITING INCIDENT

INT. NAVY MEDICAL OFFICE – DAY

Beginning

Carrie sitting on the exam table. The physician is reading lab reports then looks at MRI results. Carrie studies him for any hints. None.

Middle

CARRIE

Indigestion? Virus?

PHYSICIAN

Life isn’t always fair Sr. Chief… Carrie, you have pancreatic cancer. You’re in superb physical shape. You’ll probably be able to last longer than most. But, it could be anywhere from six months to two years.

End

EXT. FRONT OF MEDICAL CENTER – DAY

Carrie stands and stares into nothingness. Then starts to shake. Then SCREAMS. She turns and faces.

REAR ADMIRAL

Everything okay Sr. Chief Waters?

CARRIE

Nothing I can’t resolve Admiral.

She salutes him. He salutes back and they part ways.

INT. BASE GYM – NIGHT

Carrie is wailing on the body bag. She gives it one final punch with a SCREAM.

She turns. Yup, the Admiral in sweats just finishing his workout.

REAR ADMIRAL

Chief?

Firmly.

CARRIE

All under control, Sir.

REAR ADMIRAL

Uh huh. I can see that.

INT. BATALLION COMMANDERSERS OFFICE

Beginning

Sr, Chief Waters enters the Commanders office dressed in Khakis. She stands at attention.

CARRIE

Sr. Chief Waters reporting as ordered Sir.

CAPTAIN

At ease, Sr. Chief.

Carrie laces her hands behind her back and relaxes, slightly.

The Command Master Chief of the base is standing to the side of the Captains desk. He smiles at Carrie.

CAPTAIN (CON’T)

Thank you for coming in Sr. Chief.

CARRIE

Sir.

The Captain looks down then back up at Carrie and purses his lips.

CAPTAIN

We met with your physician earlier today.

Carrie looks from the Captain to the Command Master Chief and then back. She straightens her back and raises her head high.

CARRIE

Sir.

CAPTAIN

You must be aware of what’s coming.

CARRIE

Yes Sir. No promotion to Master Chief and no thirty year career.

CAPTAIN

We’ve known each other since I was an Ensign and you were a recruit.

CARRIE

Yes Sir.

The Captain walks around the desk, take her hands into each of his.

CAPTAIN

I’m so sorry Carrie. I wish…

CARRIE

I know sir. It’s okay.

EXT. BASE HOUSING – DAY

Carrie turns to walk into her unit. She kicks over her flowers in front of her place and SCREAMS, just a s a Harley pulls up and stops. She looks. The helmet is taken off and there sits the Rear
Admiral. He gets off the bike and stops at her property line.

REAR ADMIRAL

I spoke with your Captain today. I’m very sorry
Sr. Chief. I was looking forward to having you on my staff as Master Chief.

CARRIE

That would have been nice Admiral.

They shake hands. She watches as he drives away. Then turns and cries.

REACTION TO INCITING INCIDENT

EXT. AUCTION SITE – DAY

Beginning

Carrie walks around checking out various school busses. She makes a notation on two of them. Her notes indicate how much she will bid.

Middle

The auctioneer is getting bids on her first choice. He calls out her top number.

AUCTIONEER

Twenty Two thousand.

Carrie raises her hand.

AUCTIONEER

I have twenty two do I hear twenty three?

No response. Carrie looks around the room.

CARRIE (VO)

I’ve got it.

MALE VOICE (VO)

Twenty two five.

Carrie scratches that one from her list.

LATER

The auctioneer is getting bids on her second choice. Her notes read eighteen thousand max.

AUCTIONEER

I’ve got fifteen six. Di I hear sixteen

Carrie raises her paddle.

AUCTIONEER

I’ve got sixteen. Do I hear seventeen?

No response.

AUCTIONEER

So I hear sixteen five?

No response.

AUCTIONEER

Sold to the lady in the Navy sweatshirt.

End

She drives it off the lot.

EXT. NAVY BASE MECHANIC SHOP – DAY

BEGINNING

Carrie is ripping the seats out of the bus. She’s angry, crying and forceful as she works.

CARRIE

Why? Why, God?

Middle

All the seats are out. She’s curled up in a ball on the floor of the bus crying.

CARRIE

I’ve loved you and followed you, I’ve given my life to you and now this .

Command Master Chief sticks his head in the door of the bus. He sees and hears Carrie. He comes inside the bus. He places his hand on her shoulder.

COMMAND MASTER CHIEF

Lord, give her the peace that surpasses all understanding. Give her joy in you.

Carrie sits up, wipes her eyes with her forearm and nods to him.

COMMAND MASTER CHIEF (CON’T)

Martha expects you for dinner this Sunday after church. Don’t make me have to order you, ‘cause I’ll never hear the end of it from her if you’re not there.

CARRIE

Aye, aye, Command Master Chief.

Carrie lifts the hood and starts taking note of what mechanical issues need to be resolved.

End

INT. CARRIE’S HOUSING – NIGHT

BEGINNING

Carrie has a map of the US. She’s coloring in all the states she has been to – total of 37. She pours herself a drink.

Middle

Carrie is on Youtube watching videos of RV life. She simultaneously is making a list of what she wants to see in the fourteen states she’s never seen. She’s now drinking straight from the bottle.

End

Carrie is passed out on her bed. Her cat is curled up next to her. The empty bottle is tipped over on the night stand.

EXT. NAVY BASE MECHANIC SHOP – NIGHT

Carrie is putting the final touches on her Bus. Functional but feminine.

INT. BUS – DAY

The Women’s Bible Study is having their last meeting with Carrie. They’re laughing and giggling.

CARRIE

So that’s it. I admit I drank myself into oblivion.

The women surround her letting her know how much she’s loved by them.

INT. DOJO – NIGHT

The kids surround Carrie giving her hugs which she returns. A little girl gives her a bouquet of daisies.

CARRIE

I’m so gonna miss you guys.

[James Clark]

THIRTY DAY SCREENPLAY ASSIGNMENT #26

James E. Clark – Solved Character Problems

What I learned from this assignment: I focused on Protagonist/Antagonist too good/bad, Weak character intros and all characters the same. I learned to use my character outlines to develop stronger representations of who they are.

ACT 1

OPENING

EXT. COMPANY HEADQUARTERS – DAY

Signage reads “Company A Seabee Training Facility, Port Hueneme, CA”

Beginning

Sailors are scrambling to be in the right place in formation and on time. Everyone is at attention. One lone sailor is five seconds late and has to work is way into his place.

Middle

Facing the Sailors is a diminutive Sr. Chief Carrie Waters. Five foot nuthin’ and a hundred pounds. She’s wearing immaculate Khaki’s with lots of ribbons including a Purple Heart.

CARRIE

Seaman Quincy front a center.

The late seaman comes forward and faces Carrie.

CARRIE

About face.

Seaman Quincy performs a clean about face.

CARRIE

Explain to your shipmates why you were late to formation.

QUINCY

I was in the restroom Sr. Chief.

CARRIE

Seconds count. If we were in combat you just risked the lives of your shipmates. DO YOU UNDERSTAND SEAMAN?

QUINCY

Yes Sr. Chief. But…

CARRIE

Quincy, I don’t give a rats rosy red hindquarters about your excuses. Understand that and your life will be better. Now, stand at attention and apologize to your shipmates.

Quincy squares his shoulders.

QUINCY

Shipmates, I apologize.

CARRIE

Quincy, fall in.

Quincy goes back to his location.

CARRIE (CON’T)

As a result of Quincy being late. The whole company will all stand at attention until the Company Commander and the Master Chief arrive.

As if on cue, the Company Commander and the Master Chief come around the corner.

CARRIE (CON’T)

All present and accounted for Sir.

MASTER CHIEF

Any problems Sr. Chief.

CARRIE

No Master Chief. We are tight as a drum

Quincy relaxes his facial demeanor.

EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE – DAY

Beginning

Sr. Chief Waters is watching a Seaman struggle with the operation of a large earthmover.

Middle

With ease she scrambles up to the cab.

CARRIE

Hobart, who taught you how to operate this mover?

HOBART

You did Sr. Chief.

CARRIE

And when was your last class session.

`HOBART

Two days ago Sr. Chief.

CARRIE

Are you unable to retain information Hobart?

Hobart can’t look her in the eye and doesn’t respond

CARRIE

Seaman, do you plan on embarrassing your Sr. Chief this close to graduation day.

HOBART

No Sr. Chief.

CARRIE

Well then, walk me through the start up procedures.

TWI MINUTES LATER

Carrie is on the ground.

Hobart shifts a control. The earth mover begins to move forward.

INT. CHAPEL CONFERENCE ROOM – NIGHT

Beginning

Women are milling around chatting and drinking coffee or bottled water. Some are in uniform, some in civies. Carrie is in civies.

CARRIE

Okay ladies, grab Bible, your coffee and treats. Time to start.

Middle

PLACEMARKER

The are going through the story of Deborah in the Book of Judges. Carrie asks pointed questions of the participants to keep them engaged.

End

Bible study is over.

WOMAN 1

What do you want to do when you retire?

CARRIE

Assuming I make Master Chief, I’ve got seven more years left for a round thirty. After that, I want to visit all of the states I haven’t been to yet. Right now I’ve checked of thirty seven states.

INT. DOJO – NIGHT

Beginning

Carrie, 3^rd degree Black Belt is teaching a class of kids ages 8-15. She pairs the kids up by age and size on the mat.

Middle

An 11-year-old boy gets too rambunctious and hurts a girl in the class.

CARRIE

Andrew, to the side and kneel. You will remain there until the end of class.

End

She confronts the boy by asking him how much he likes being at the Dojo. He loves it. She gives him a serious reprimand.

As the students leave the mat and pick up their belongings, Carrie approaches Andrew.

CARRIE

How long you been coming to class?

ANDREW

My fourth week.

CARRIE

And now you think you know it all. Do you like coming to class.

ANDREW

Yes sensei.

CARRIE

If I see that again, you’ll be out of class. And remember, I’m in Bible study with your Mom.

Andrew drops his head.

ANDREW

Yes sensei.

INCITING INCIDENT

INT. NAVY MEDICAL OFFICE – DAY

Beginning

Carrie sitting on the exam table. The physician is reading lab reports then looks at MRI results. Carrie studies him for any hints. None.

Middle

PHYSICIAN

Life isn’t always fair Sr. Chief. Pancreatic cancer is no respector of persons. Your in superb physical shape. You’ll probably be able to last longer than most. But, it could be anywhere from six months to two years.

End

EXT. FRONT OF MEDICAL CENTER – DAY

Carrie stands and stares into nothingness. Then starts to shake. Then SCREAMS. She turns and faces.

REAR ADMIRAL

Everything okay Sr. chief Waters?

CARRIE

Nothing I can’t resolve Admiral.

She salutes him. He salutes back and they part ways.

INT. BASE GYM – NIGHT

Carrie is wailing on the body bag. She gives it one final punch with a SCREAM.

She turns. Yup, the Admiral in sweats just finishing his workout.

REAR ADMIRAL

Chief?

Firmly.

CARRIE

All under control, Sir.

REAR ADMIRAL

Uh huh. I can see that.

INT. BATALLION COMMANDERSERS OFFICE

Beginning

Sr, Chief Waters enters the Commanders office dressed in Khakis. She stands at attention

CARRIE

Sr. Chief Waters reporting as ordered Sir.

CAPTAIN

At ease, Sr. Chief.

Carrie laces her hands behind her back and relaxes, slightly.

The Command Master Chief of the base is standing to the side of the Captains desk. He smiles at Carrie.

CAPTAIN (CON’T)

Thank you for coming in Sr. Chief.

CARRIE

Sir.

The Captain looks down then back up at Carrie and purses his lips.

CAPTAIN

We met with your physician earlier today.

Carrie looks from the Captain to the Command Master Chief and then back. She straightens her back and raises her head high.

CARRIE

Sir.

CAPTAIN

You must be aware of what’[s coming.

CARRIE

Yes Sir. No promotion to Master Chief and no thirty year career.

CAPTAIN

We’ve known each other since I was an Ensign and you were a recruit.

CARRIE

Yes Sir.

The Captain walks around the desk, take her hands into each of his.

CAPTAIN

I’m so sorry Carrie. I wish…

CARRIE

I know sir. It’s okay.

EXT. BASE HOUSING – DAY

Carrie turns to walk into her unit. She kicks over her flowers in front of her place and SCREAMS, just a s a Harley pulls up and stops. She looks. The helmet is taken off and there sits the Rear
Admiral. He gets off the bike and stops at her property line.

REAR ADMIRAL

I spoke with your Captain today. I’m very sorry
Sr. Chief. I was looking forward to having you on my staff as Master Chief.

CARRIE

That would have been nice Admiral.

They shake hands. She watches as he drives away. Then turns and cries.

REACTION TO INCITING INCIDENT

EXT. AUCTION SITE – DAY

Beginning

Carrie walks around checking out various school busses. She makes a notation on two of them. Her notes indicate how much she will bid.

Middle

The auctioneer is getting bids on her first choice. He calls out her top number.

AUCTIONEER

Twenty Two thousand.

Carrie raises her hand.

AUCTIONEER

I have twenty two do I hear twenty three?

No response. Carrie looks around the room.

CARRIE (VO)

I’ve got it.

MALE VOICE (VO)

Twenty two five.

Carrie scratches that one from her list.

LATER

The auctioneer is getting bids on her second choice. Her nots read eighteen thousand max.

AUCTIONEER

I’ve got fifteen six. Di I hear sixteen

Carrie raises her paddle.

AUCTIONEER

I’ve got sixteen. Do I hear seventeen?

No response.

AUCTIONEER

So I hear sixteen five?

No response.

AUCTIONEER

Sold to the lady in the Navy sweatshirt.

End

She drives it off the lot.

EXT. NAVY BASE MECHANIC SHOP – DAY

BEGINNING

Carrie is ripping the seats out of the bus. She’s angry, crying and forceful as she works.

CARRIE

Why? Why, God?

Middle

All the seats are out. She’s curled up in a ball on the floor of the bus crying.

CARRIE

I’ve loved you and followed you, I’ve given my life to you and now this .

Command Master Chief sticks his head in the door of the bus. He sees and hears Carrie. He comes inside the bus. He places his hand on her shoulder.

COMMAND MASTER CHIEF

Lord, give her the peace that surpasses all understanding. Give her joy in you.

Carrie sits up, wipes her eyes with her forearm and nods to him.

COMMAND MASTER CHIEF (CON’T)

Martha expects you for dinner this Sunday after church. Don’t make me have to order you, ‘cause I’ll never hear the end of it from her if you’re not there.

CARRIE

Aye, aye, Command Master Chief.

Carrie lifts the hood and starts taking note of what mechanical issues need to be resolved.

End

INT. CARRIE’S HOUSING – NIGHT

BEGINNING

Carrie has a map of the US. She’s coloring in all the states she has been to – total of 37. She pours herself a drink.

Middle

Carrie is on Youtube watching videos of RV life. She simultaneously is making a list of what she wants to see in the fourteen states she’s never seen. She’s now drinking straight from the bottle.

End

Carrie is passed out on her bed. Her cat is curled up next to her. The empty bottle is tipped over on the night stand.

EXT. NAVY BASE MECHANIC SHOP – NIGHT

Carrie is putting the final touches on her Bus. Functional but feminine.

INT. BUS – DAY

The Women’s Bible Study is having their last meeting with Carrie. They’re laughing and giggling.

CARRIE

So that’s it. I admit I drank myself into oblivion.

The women surround her letting her know how much she’s loved by them.

INT. DOJO – NIGHT

The kids surround Carrie giving her hugs which she returns. A little girl gives her a bouquet of daisies.

CARRIE

I’m so gonna miss you guys.

Act 2 additional scenes Pre mid point

Beginning

EXT. NAVY BASE GATE – DAY

Carrie’s RV is pulling out of the gate at Port Hueneme, CA.

EXT. PACIFIC COAST HIGHWAY – DAY

Carrie is driving through the countryside north of Santa Barbara.

EXT HILLS – DAY

Carrie pulls into Ronald Reagan’s ranch Casa de La Cielo. She visits the museum.

EXT. PACIFIC COAST HIGHWAY – DAY

Carrie is pulled over just south of Big Sur and watching the ocean and waves as she eats her meal. She’s enjoying the view and serenity.

She gets out and walks a path down to the water.

INT. RV – NIGHT

Carrie is cleaning up form dinner and watching other campers at the campground move about.

Middle

EXT. CHURCH PARKING LOT – DAY

Sacramento, CA. Carrie has found a small church that needs some sprucing up. She offers to do work at not cost and she will cover materials.

Carrie replacing a door. Carrie fixing a toilet. Carrie painting a room. Carrie fixing the sprinkler system. Carrie planting flowers.

EXT. BRYCE CANYON – NIGHT

Carrie exits the RV with her coffee cup. She wanders over to the edge of the canyon and waits.

The sun starts to rise. She watches as the canyon walls change color with the rising sun. She’s satisfied.

INT. RV – DAY

Carries is driving through a rural area. She passes a private Christian school. In the front is a flag pole that is leaning with a tattered and faded US flag.

End

INT. HARDWARE STORE – DAY

Carrie has a bag of cement, a rope, a two by four and a new US flag.

EXT. SCHOOL – DAY

The flag pole is straight . It has a new lanyard and a new flag flying in the breeze

Students are standing around. The principal shakes Carrie’s hand.

EXT. PICNIC TABLE CAMP GROUND – DAY

Carrie is looking at a Christian website that posts volunteer positions. She sees one for a church camp in need of someone with construction experience. She copies her resume, pasts it into the volunteer application and off it goes.

INT. BUS – DAY

Carrie pulls up to the entrance to the church camp. The sign is missing boards so the whole name is not visible.

CARRIE

First impressions last. I’ll start there.

INT. CAMP OFFICE – DAY

Carrie is standing at the counter.

SECRETARY

… and we’re so excited to have you with us Miss Waters.

CARRIE

I’ve seen some of your needs. Glad to help. Can I meet the camp director.

SECRETARY

He’s out of town for a few days. He gave me a list of things to be done.

CARRIE

Where can I park my bus?

INT. BUS – NIGHT

Carrie is looking at the list. The front sign is at the top of the list. Second on the list is a new fire suppression system for the kitchen oven.

CARRIE

My sentiment too.

INT. COUNTY BUILDING PERMIT OFFICE – DAY

COUNTY OFFICIAL

I’m familiar with your kitchen. It’s a mess. You’re going to have sixty days to bring it all up to code.

Carrie reads the list.

CARRIE

I came in regarding the fire suppression system. I’ve assessed the rest of the kitchen. Your list seems aggressive. This will add twenty thousand dollars to the cost.

COUNTY OFFICIAL

Not my problem. The camp has been skirting the code for years. Christians think there above the law.

INT. CAMP OFFICE – DAY

CARRIE

… and the guy was an absolute jerk. He doesn’t think highly of the camp or Christians. Bureaucrat!

NELSON(VO)

You still don’t suffer fools well do you?

Carrie freezes, then slowly turns to see Nelson the Camp Director. She can’t respond.

NELSON(CON’T)

Speechless eh?

Carrie storms out of the office.

EVERYTHING BELOW THIS LINE IS A PLACE HOLDER

Act 2 additional scenes post mid point

Beginning

EXT. WOODS – DAY

Carrie and Nelson are walking and talking

Middle

INT. FINE DINING RESTAURANT – NIGHT

Nelson slides a ring box to her. She opens it and sees it’s the same one she wore twelve years earlier.

Carrie revels her illness to Nelson. She tells him she needs to compete her journey or until she can’t do any more. He asks her to wear the ring until she is done with her journey or has to return. She says she’ll think about it – but keeps the box.

EXT. CAMP GROUND – DAY

Carrie is in Vermont in the Green Mountains. She runs into some nomads she met at her first Boondock site. They’re heads south to Florida.

Carrie’s headed north to Maine. She tells them she might see them in Florida later.

Carrie’s energy level is declining.

EXT. MOUNT KADYDIN MAINE – DAY

Carrie hikes to the top, slowly.

EXT. TOP OF MOUNT KATYDIN – DAY

Carrie looks at the panorama. There’s a plaque at the top that reads “Terminus- Appalachian Trail.

End

INT. RV – NIGHT

Carrie is reading and drinking a cup of tea. Her nose starts to bleed.

She opens her map. She has three states left, South Carolina, Georgia and Florida. She opens the jewelry box and looks at the ring. She taps her ring finger on the Florida Keyes.

EXT. CAMP WORKSHOP – DAY

Carrie is teaching the volunteers how to use specific tools.

Carrie asks who want to learn how to operate the skip loader.

EXT. FIRE BREAK – DAY

Volunteers watch and listen to Carrie as she gives instructions. A twenty something gal jumps up as the first student. The skip loader jerks around as she tries to drive it.

TE 10b

INT. DINING HALL – NIGHT

Nelson and Carrie are enjoying some quiet time together. He slides a ring box across the table. She recognizes it. It’s the same engagement ring she wore twelve years earlier.

He asks her to marry him. She confesses she’s still in love with him.

She tells him her journey isn’t over yet and she has to do it on her own. She keeps the ring box but doesn’t opens it.

INT. NELSON’S OFFICE – DAY

He’s on the phone with his sister who’s a producer of documentaries.

EXT. BUS – DAY

Sarah, Nelson’s sister is interviewing Carrie about her journey.

At the end of the interview Sarah tells Carrie she glad Carrie is back in Nelson’s life and that he has not had a relationship since they ended their engagement twelve years earlier.

Carrie agrees to do a video blog on the rest of her journey.

TE 11

Sarah books Carrie for an interview on TBN.

INT. STAGE – DAY

Interview asks Carrie why the Navy. Carrie gives her story. Orphan. Was given a birth name by the orphanage. She changed it legally to Carrie Waters because she liked the serving concept of Chop Wood and Carry Water. The Navy was another opportunity to serve and have a great career.

INT. BATTALION COMMAND MASTER CHIEF’S OFFICE – DAY

The TV is on TBN. The interview finishes up. Battalion Commander is also watching.

COMMAND MASTER CHIEF

Thata girl.

Battalion Commander smiles and nods.

TE 14

INT. MOTEL ROOM – DAY

Carrie asks Nelson to mark off Florida and bring her the map. All fifty states have been marked off.

NELSON

Proud of you Babe.

Write The Outlined Scenes

Te9B

EXT. CAMP WORKSHOP – DAY

Carrie is holding up a pair of safety glasses.

CARRE

Again, how many pairs of eyes do you have?

VOLUNTEERS

ONE!

CARRIE

So the glasses…

VOLUNTEERS

SAVE EYES!

CARRIE

Who wants to learn how to drive the skip loader?

Every hand goes up.

EXT. FIRE BREAK – DAY

The volunteers are lined up next to the skip loader. Carrie has a young twenty something gal behind the controls.

CARRIE

Keep the clutch down unless your driving. This controls the bucket. Forward is down, back is up right tilts the bucket up, left tilts the bucket down. Got it?

Carrie jumps of and signals the girl to start. The engine starts, she lifts the bucket off the ground. She tries to put it in gear and the gears grind.

CARRIE

Push in the clutch. Then put it in gear.

The girl follows Carrie’s instruction. The skip loader lurches forward and dies. Crowd laughs. Girl does too.

EXT. CAP – DAY

Carrie and the volunteers are walking back for lunch.

CARRIE

You all did a great job.

VOLUNTEER

When do we get to try the road grader?

CARRIE

That’s a track vehicle. Operates very differently than a wheeled vehicle. Tell you what. Join the Army and sign up for Armor. You’ll get all the track driving you could ever want.

VOLUNTEER

Just might do that.

TE 10b

INT. DINING HALL – NIGHT

Carrie is sitting at a table. Nelson walks up with two cups in his hands

NELSON

Hot chocolate as requested.

Carrie smiles.

CARRIE

Thanks. Why here?

NELSON

It’s peaceful. And… anyway, I love the outdoors.

CARRIE

I understand.

NELSON

Why help out for free and cover the materials too?

CARRIE

Chop wood – carry water.

Nelson slides the ring box across the table to her. It’s the same one she had twelve years prior.

CARRIE (CON’T)

I love you. I do. But I’m not sure.

NELSON

Got it. Keep the ring. If you decide to wear it, so much the better.

NELSON

You mind if I share your story with Sarah?

CARRIE

I haven’t talked to her in years. She still with TBN?

NELSON

Yeah. This might make a great documentary.

CARRIE

I don’t know…

NELSON

What better way to chop wood and carry water than to share your story?

CARRIE

Who’s story?

NELSON

Yeah, got it. Jesus.

TE 11

EXT BUS – DAY

TBN is set up with directors chairs, lights and camera. Sarah and Carrie are miced.

SARAH

Carrie, why are you making this journey?

LATER

SARAH

Wrap. (TO CARRIE) I’m glad you and Nelson have reconnected.

CARRIE

That doesn’t mean th…

SARAH

Of course. No matter the outcome, your relationship is built on Christ. Did you know that he hasn’t gone out with or dated anyone since you guys broke up.

CARRIE

That’s like him. Me too.

SARAH

Not surprised.

INT. COMMAND MASTER CHIEF’S OFFICE – DAY

TV is on TBN.

CHIEF

Thata girl.

Battalion Commander is in the office. He smiles.

TE 14

INT. MOTEL ROOM – DAY

Carrie’s in bed.

CARRIE

Please, hand me my map and a marker.

Carrie marks Florida. She’s hit all fifty states.

NELSON

Proud of you Babe.

CARRIE

My purse please.

Nelson hands her the purse. She reaches in and pulls out the ring box. She hands it to Nelson. He opens the box and she holds out her left ring finger. He slides it on. It’s very loose on her hand.

CARRIE

One of the downsides of weight loss.

INT. RV – DAY

Carries interview with Sarah on TBN has gone viral. She opens her blog to see hundreds of responses. She shows Nelson.

NELSON

What are you going to do?

CARRIE

Respond to every one of them.

Nelson pulls her hand to him and kisses it.

NELSON

So proud of you.

MONTAGE

-Carrie blogs while Nelson drives. As she blogs she listens to instrumental praise music.

-At every stop along the way she takes incognito photos of people and posts them on her blog.

– Nelson and Carrie are in a diner. She’s in her wheel chair. Two pre-teen girls come up to her and ask for her autograph. She obliges. Nelson takes a photo of Carrie the girls and their Mom. Carrie posts the photo on her blog

– The town where the camp is located has banners welcoming Carrie back. Nelson drives slowly through the town. People are lining the street waving and cheering.

EXT. CAMP – DAY

Camp staff are out in full force to welcome Carrie and Nelson back.

Snow is on the ground. Nelson helps Carrie from the bus and helps her into a wheel chair.

WOMAN 1

We set up a cabin for you.

CARRIE

Thanks. I’ll like that.

INT. CABIN – DAY

Carrie blogs that her time is near. She’s sorry to be leaving this life but excited for the next. This will be her final blog. She reminisces about her life as an orphan, legally changing her name to Carrie Waters, her Navy career as a Seabee, being one of the first females in the Seabees, breaking Nelson’s heart and him taking her back 12 years later, her walk with Christ, Her opportunity to have been in every state.

CARRIE’S FINAL ENTRY: “Thank you to all of you who have been following with me on this path. To those of you who are Today Friends, I pray the very best for you. To my Forever friends, I’ll see you soon.”

INT. CABIN – DAY

Nelson is putting wood in the fire place.

CARRIE

Thanks. I’ll be fine. Go get settled back in.

NELSON

See you at dinner. Cook’s making your favorite.

CARRIE

Chicken feet. Yum!

NELSON

Cook can do that too.

INT. DINING HALL – NIGHT

The dining hall is decorated for Christmas. The countdown to Christmas reads six days.

Carrie is seated at a table. Staff is going through the chow line.

Nelson approaches the table with two trays. He sets one in front of Carrie. It’s meat loaf, mashed potatoes and peas. On tip of the mashed potatoes is a yellow PEEP.

Carrie looks at Nelson then at the staff watching her and she breaks out laughing.

EXT. CAMP – DAY

Nelson pushes Carrie on a trail by the pond.

NELSON

Warm enough?

CARRIE

Uh huh.

INT. WORKSHOP – DAY

Carrie visits with the Maintenance man.

MAINTENANCE MAN

How would you run new electrical lines for the exterior spot lights?

Carrie and the Maintenance man are going over a drawing of her ideas.

EXT. FIRE BREAK – DAY

Nelson lifts Carrie into the seat of the Grader. He stays with her. She starts the engine.

Carrie clears snow from the fire break.

CARRIE

I’d say I’m going to miss this. But I have a mansion waiting and I’m looking forward to being there.

NELSON

I’m sure it’s a beaut.

INT. CABIN – DAY

Carrie’s in bed. Nelson brings her breakfast.

NELSON

Merry Christmas Eve. I bring sustenance.

CARRIE

You’re too good for me.

NELSON

Not so. Yet, thanks.

CARRIE

Do me one more favor?

EXT. FIRE BREAK – DAY

Nelson lifts Carrie into the seat of the Grader. He stays with her. She starts the engine.

Carrie clears snow from the fire break.

CARRIE

I’d say I’m going to miss this. But I have a mansion waiting and I’m looking forward to being there.

NELSON

I’m sure it’s a beaut.

EXT. CAMP PARKING LOT – NIGHT

Nelson lifts Carrie from the wheel chair and puts her in his truck.

EXT. ROAD – NIGHT

The headlights shine off the snowy trees.

NELSON

One of my favorite spots coming up.

EXT. LAKESIDE – NIGHT

Nelson

Looks like we got the timing right.

CARRIE

What?

NELSON

Shhh. Just watch, over those trees.

Nelson points

Slowly a full moon that’s bright orange begins to rise over the trees. Carrie cries.

CARRIE

Oh Nelson, it’s beautiful.

Carrie snuggles into his arm.

NELSON

You’re my full moon.

They watch as the moon rises higher. Nelson hears a long exhale. She’s no longer breathing.

Nelson cries, then deep sobs.

NESLON

Someday, I’ll come visit you in your mansion.

[James Clark]

THIRTY DAY SCREENPLAY ASSIGNMENT # 25

James E. Clark:

What I learned from this assignment: It’s a long process that needs on going assessment even though this is a First Draft. I suppose I just need to write and not correct anything along the way.

ACT 1

OPENING

EXT. COMPANY HEADQUARTERS – DAY

Signage reads “Company A Seabee Training Facility, Port Hueneme, CA”

Beginning

Sailors are scrambling to be in the right place in formation and on time. Everyone is at attention. One lone sailor is five seconds late and has to work is way into his place.

Middle

Facing the Sailors is a diminutive Sr. Chief Carrie Waters. Five foot nuthin’ and a hundred pounds. She’s wearing immaculate Khaki’s with lots of ribbons including a Purple Heart.

CARRIE

Seaman Quincy front a center.

The late seaman comes forward and faces Carrie.

CARRIE

About face.

Seaman Quincy performs a clean about face.

CARRIE

Explain to your shipmates why you were late to formation.

QUINCY

I was in the restroom Sr. Chief.

CARRIE

Seconds count. If we were in combat you just risked the lives of your shipmates. DO YOU UNDERSTAND SEAMAN?

QUINCY

Yes Sr. Chief.

CARRIE

Apologize to your shipmates.

QUINCY

Shipmates, I apologize.

Quincy is embarrassed.

CARRIE

Quincy, fall in.

Quincy goes back to his location.

CARRIE (CON’T)

As a result of Quincy being late. You will all stand at attention until the Company Commander and the Master Chief arrive.

As if on cue, the Company Commander and the Master Chief come around the corner.

CARRIE (CON’T)

All present and accounted for Sir.

MASTER CHIEF

Any problems Sr. Chief.

CARRIE

No Master Chief. We are tight as a drum

Quincy relaxes his facial demeanor.

EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE – DAY

Beginning

Sr. Chief Waters is watching a Seaman struggle with the operation of a large earthmover.

Middle

With ease she scrambles up to the cab.

CARRIE

Hobart, who taught you how to operate this mover?

HOBART

You did Sr. Chief.

CARRIE

And when was your last class session.

`HOBART

Two days ago Sr. Chief.

CARRIE

Are you unable to retain information Hobart?

Hobart can’t look her in the eye and doesn’t respond

CARRIE

Seaman, do you plan on embarrassing your Sr. Chief this close to graduation day.

HOBART

No Sr. Chief.

CARRIE

Well then, walk me through the start up procedures.

TWI MINUTES LATER

Carrie is on the ground.

Hobart shifts a control. The earth mover begins to move forward.

INT. CHAPEL CONFERENCE ROOM – NIGHT

Beginning

Women are milling around chatting and drinking coffee or bottled water. Some are in uniform, some in civies. Carrie is in civies.

CARRIE

Okay ladies, grab Bible, your coffee and treats. Time to start.

Middle

PLACEMARKER

The are going through the story of Deborah in the Book of Judges. Carrie asks pointed questions of the participants to keep them engaged.

End

Bible study is over.

WOMAN 1

What do you want to do when you retire?

CARRIE

Assuming I make Master Chief, I’ve got seven more years left for a round thirty. After that, I want to visit all of the states I haven’t been to yet. Right now I’ve checked of thirty seven states.

INT. DOJO – NIGHT

Beginning

Carrie, 3^rd degree Black Belt is teaching a class of kids ages 8-15. She pairs the kids up by age and size on the mat.

Middle

An 11-year-old boy gets too rambunctious and hurts a girl in the class.

CARRIE

Andrew, to the side and kneel. You will remain there until the end of class.

End

She confronts the boy by asking him how much he likes being at the Dojo. He loves it. She gives him a serious reprimand.

As the students leave the mat and pick up their belongings, Carrie approaches Andrew.

CARRIE

How long you been coming to class?

ANDREW

My fourth week.

CARRIE

And now you think you know it all. Do you like coming to class.

ANDREW

Yes sensei.

CARRIE

If I see that again, you’ll be out of class. And remember, I’m in Bible study with your Mom.

Andrew drops his head.

ANDREW

Yes sensei.

INCITING INCIDENT

INT. NAVY MEDICAL OFFICE – DAY

Beginning

Carrie sitting on the exam table. The physician is reading lab reports then looks at MRI results. Carrie studies him for any hints. None.

Middle

PHYSICIAN

Life isn’t always fair Sr. Chief. Pancreatic cancer is no respector of persons. Your in superb physical shape. You’ll probably be able to last longer than most. But, it could be anywhere from six months to two years.

End

EXT. FRONT OF MEDICAL CENTER – DAY

Carrie stands and stares into nothingness. Then starts to shake. Then SCREAMS. She turns and faces.

REAR ADMIRAL

Everything okay Sr. chief Waters?

CARRIE

Nothing I can’t resolve Admiral.

She salutes him. He salutes back and they part ways.

INT. BASE GYM – NIGHT

Carrie is wailing on the body bag. She gives it one final punch with a SCREAM.

She turns. Yup, the Admiral in sweats just finishing his workout.

REAR ADMIRAL

Chief?

Firmly.

CARRIE

All under control, Sir.

REAR ADMIRAL

Uh huh. I can see that.

INT. BATALLION COMMANDERSERS OFFICE

Beginning

Sr, Chief Waters enters the Commanders office dressed in Khakis. She stands at attention

CARRIE

Sr. Chief Waters reporting as ordered Sir.

CAPTAIN

At ease, Sr. Chief.

Carrie laces her hands behind her back and relaxes, slightly.

The Command Master Chief of the base is standing to the side of the Captains desk. He smiles at Carrie.

CAPTAIN (CON’T)

Thank you for coming in Sr. Chief.

CARRIE

Sir.

The Captain looks down then back up at Carrie and purses his lips.

CAPTAIN

We met with your physician earlier today.

Carrie looks from the Captain to the Command Master Chief and then back. She straightens her back and raises her head high.

CARRIE

Sir.

CAPTAIN

You must be aware of what’[s coming.

CARRIE

Yes Sir. No promotion to Master Chief and no thirty year career.

CAPTAIN

We’ve known each other since I was an Ensign and you were a recruit.

CARRIE

Yes Sir.

The Captain walks around the desk, take her hands into each of his.

CAPTAIN

I’m so sorry Carrie. I wish…

CARRIE

I know sir. It’s okay.

EXT. BASE HOUSING – DAY

Carrie turns to walk into her unit. She kicks over her flowers in front of her place and SCREAMS, just a s a Harley pulls up and stops. She looks. The helmet is taken off and there sits the Rear
Admiral. He gets off the bike and stops at her property line.

REAR ADMIRAL

I spoke with your Captain today. I’m very sorry
Sr. Chief. I was looking forward to having you on my staff as Master Chief.

CARRIE

That would have been nice Admiral.

They shake hands. She watches as he drives away. Then turns and cries.

REACTION TO INCITING INCIDENT

EXT. AUCTION SITE – DAY

Beginning

Carrie walks around checking out various school busses. She makes a notation on two of them. Her notes indicate how much she will bid.

Middle

The auctioneer is getting bids on her first choice. He calls out her top number.

AUCTIONEER

Twenty Two thousand.

Carrie raises her hand.

AUCTIONEER

I have twenty two do I hear twenty three?

No response. Carrie looks around the room.

CARRIE (VO)

I’ve got it.

MALE VOICE (VO)

Twenty two five.

Carrie scratches that one from her list.

LATER

The auctioneer is getting bids on her second choice. Her nots read eighteen thousand max.

AUCTIONEER

I’ve got fifteen six. Di I hear sixteen

Carrie raises her paddle.

AUCTIONEER

I’ve got sixteen. Do I hear seventeen?

No response.

AUCTIONEER

So I hear sixteen five?

No response.

AUCTIONEER

Sold to the lady in the Navy sweatshirt.

End

She drives it off the lot.

EXT. NAVY BASE MECHANIC SHOP – DAY

BEGINNING

Carrie is ripping the seats out of the bus. She’s angry, crying and forceful as she works.

CARRIE

Why? Why, God?

Middle

All the seats are out. She’s curled up in a ball on the floor of the bus crying.

CARRIE

I’ve loved you and followed you, I’ve given my life to you and now this .

Command Master Chief sticks his head in the door of the bus. He sees and hears Carrie. He comes inside the bus. He places his hand on her shoulder.

COMMAND MASTER CHIEF

Lord, give her the peace that surpasses all understanding. Give her joy in you.

Carrie sits up, wipes her eyes with her forearm and nods to him.

COMMAND MASTER CHIEF (CON’T)

Martha expects you for dinner this Sunday after church. Don’t make me have to order you, ‘cause I’ll never hear the end of it from her if you’re not there.

CARRIE

Aye, aye, Command Master Chief.

Carrie lifts the hood and starts taking note of what mechanical issues need to be resolved.

End

INT. CARRIE’S HOUSING – NIGHT

BEGINNING

Carrie has a map of the US. She’s coloring in all the states she has been to – total of 37. She pours herself a drink.

Middle

Carrie is on Youtube watching videos of RV life. She simultaneously is making a list of what she wants to see in the fourteen states she’s never seen. She’s now drinking straight from the bottle.

End

Carrie is passed out on her bed. Her cat is curled up next to her. The empty bottle is tipped over on the night stand.

EXT. NAVY BASE MECHANIC SHOP – NIGHT

Carrie is putting the final touches on her Bus. Functional but feminine.

INT. BUS – DAY

The Women’s Bible Study is having their last meeting with Carrie. They’re laughing and giggling.

CARRIE

So that’s it. I admit I drank myself into oblivion.

The women surround her letting her know how much she’s loved by them.

INT. DOJO – NIGHT

The kids surround Carrie giving her hugs which she returns. A little girl gives her a bouquet of daisies.

CARRIE

I’m so gonna miss you guys.

PLACE HOLDER ACT 2

PLACEHOLDER ACT 3

[James Clark]

THIRTY DAY SCREENPLAY ASSIGNMENT #24

James E. Clark – Filled in missing scenes.

What I learned from this assignment: I have to force myself to just write and do first draft quality and ignore any need for correcting along the way.

1- I have completed Act 1

2- I’m working on the additional scenes for Acts 2,3 and 4.

[James Clark]

THIRTY DAY SCREENPLAY – ASSIGNMENT #23

James E. Clark Act 4 Resolution

What I learned from this assignment: I need to be more detailed in my outline in order to have defined scenes.

OUTLINE

INT. RV – DAY

Carries interview with Sarah on TBN has gone viral. She opens her blog to see hundreds of responses. She shows Nelson.

NELSON

What are you going to do?

CARRIE

Respond to every one of them.

Nelson pulls her hand to him and kisses it.

NELSON

So proud of you.

MONTAGE

-Carrie blogs while Nelson drives. As she blogs she listens to instrumental praise music.

-At every stop along the way she takes incognito photos of people and posts them on her blog.

– Nelson and Carrie are in a diner. She’s in her wheel chair. Two pre-teen girls come up to her and ask for her autograph. She obliges. Nelson takes a photo of Carrie the girls and their Mom. Carrie posts the photo on her blog

– The town where the camp is located has banners welcoming Carrie back. Nelson drives slowly through the town. People are lining the street waving and cheering.

EXT. CAMP – DAY

Camp staff are out in full force to welcome Carrie and Nelson back.

Snow is on the ground. Nelson helps Carrie from the bus and helps her into a wheel chair.

WOMAN 1

We set up a cabin for you.

CARRIE

Thanks. I’ll like that.

INT. CABIN – DAY

Carrie blogs that her time is near. She’s sorry to be leaving this life but excited for the next. This will be her final blog. She reminisces about her life as an orphan, legally changing her name to Carrie Waters, her Navy career as a Seabee, being one of the first females in the Seabees, breaking Nelson’s heart and him taking her back 12 years later, her walk with Christ, Her opportunity to have been in every state.

CARRIE’S FINAL ENTRY: “Thank you to all of you who have been following with me on this path. To those of you who are Today Friends, I pray the very best for you. To my Forever friends, I’ll see you soon.”

INT. CABIN – DAY

Nelson is putting wood in the fire place.

CARRIE

Thanks. I’ll be fine. Go get settled back in.

NELSON

See you at dinner. Cook’s making your favorite.

CARRIE

Chicken feet. Yum!

NELSON

Cook can do that too.

INT. DINING HALL – NIGHT

The dining hall is decorated for Christmas. The countdown to Christmas reads six days.

Carrie is seated at a table. Staff is going through the chow line.

Nelson approaches the table with two trays. He sets one in front of Carrie. It’s meat loaf, mashed potatoes and peas. On tip of the mashed potatoes is a yellow PEEP.

Carrie looks at Nelson then at the staff watching her and she breaks out laughing.

EXT. CAMP – DAY

Nelson pushes Carrie on a trail by the pond.

NELSON

Warm enough?

CARRIE

Uh huh.

INT. WORKSHOP – DAY

Carrie visits with the Maintenance man.

MAINTENANCE MAN

How would you run new electrical lines for the exterior spot lights?

Carrie and the Maintenance man are going over a drawing of her ideas.

EXT. FIRE BREAK – DAY

Nelson lifts Carrie into the seat of the Grader. He stays with her. She starts the engine.

Carrie clears snow from the fire break.

CARRIE

I’d say I’m going to miss this. But I have a mansion waiting and I’m looking forward to being there.

NELSON

I’m sure it’s a beaut.

INT. CABIN – DAY

Carrie’s in bed. Nelson brings her breakfast.

NELSON

Merry Christmas Eve. I bring sustenance.

CARRIE

You’re too good for me.

NELSON

Not so. Yet, thanks.

CARRIE

Do me one more favor?

EXT. FIRE BREAK – DAY

Nelson lifts Carrie into the seat of the Grader. He stays with her. She starts the engine.

Carrie clears snow from the fire break.

CARRIE

I’d say I’m going to miss this. But I have a mansion waiting and I’m looking forward to being there.

NELSON

I’m sure it’s a beaut.

EXT. CAMP PARKING LOT – NIGHT

Nelson lifts Carrie from the wheel chair and puts her in his truck.

EXT. ROAD – NIGHT

The headlights shine off the snowy trees.

NELSON

One of my favorite spots coming up.

EXT. LAKESIDE – NIGHT

Nelson

Looks like we got the timing right.

CARRIE

What?

NELSON

Shhh. Just watch, over those trees.

Nelson points

Slowly a full moon that’s bright orange begins to rise over the trees. Carrie cries.

CARRIE

Oh Nelson, it’s beautiful.

Carrie snuggle into his arm.

NELSON

You’re my full moon.

They watch as the moon rises higher. Nelson hears a long exhale. She’s no longer breathing.

Nelson cries, then deep sobs.

NESLON

Someday, I’ll come visit you in your mansion.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by  James Clark.

[James Clark]

THIRTY DAY SCREENPLAY ASSIGNMENT #21

James E. Clark Act 4 First Scenes

What I learned from this assignment: Act three and Act four tend to blend together. I need to better define those in my outlines.

1. Act 4: 25 pages – Test the change in this character! Prove the New Ways.

OUTLINE

INT. RV – DAY

Carrie is praying that she’s just getting to enjoy civilian life and now it’s going to end soon. She asks for more time to get back to the Camp.

She asks Nelson to drive her back.

TE15: She asks Nelson to drive back to the camp rather than fly

NOTE: REDO Act 3 where so that the bus is still in the story.

MONTAGE

EXT. RV ON THE ROAD – DAY

Headed West.

EXT CHURCH – DAY

They are painting. Carrie struggles with holding on to tools. She trips trying to get back into her RV.

EXT. VARIOUS – DAY

She blogs daily about her travels and her predicament.

People following her blog come out to see her as she goes through their towns.

She spends more time getting to know the locals than she does working on projects – although she still does that too.

She takes candid photos of people in their everyday life.

Nelson gives her regular encouragement.

INT. DOCTOR’S OFFICE – DAY

Doctor review her medical chart from the Navy. He indicates it won’t be long. He strongly suggests she check in to a hospital. She refuses saying she won’t die in a hospital.

INT. BUS – DAY

They pull into a camp ground. Another camper comes over and asks if she is Carrie Waters. He loves her blog.

EXT. HIGHWAY – DAY

The bus is driving on a road in a vast expanse of wheat fields.

INT. BUS – DAY

Carrie is enjoying not having to drive so that she can take in the passing countryside.

EXT. CAMP – DAY

Carries struggles to get out of the bus. Snow on the ground.

INT. CAMP DINING HALL – DAY

Nelson wheels Carrie into the DH in a wheel chair. The volunteers are long gone. Camp staff is a skeleton crew. The DH is decorated for Christmas.

EXT CAMP – NIGHT

Nelson carries her to his truck and places her in the front seat.

She asks where they are going. It’s a surprise.

EXT. HILLTOP OVERLOOK – NIGHT

It’s Christmas Eve. They watch the moon rise over the lake. She dies in his arms.

The truck pulls up to the edge of a lake. Nelson points and tells Carrie to watch that direction.

The full moon begins to rise. It’s bright orange getting slowly less so as it rises higher.

They talk about their love for each other, their Navy experiences. He opens a small case. It’s her Purple Heart. He pins it on her.

She dies in his arms.

KEY SCENES 1 & 2

WRITE KEY SCENES 1 & 2

KEY SCENE 1

INT. BUS – DAY

Carrie gets a text from a church in a town nearby.

EXT CHURCH – DAY

A small white clapboard church.

Nelson is painting a door set on sawhorses.

Carrie guides Nelson on how to hang the door.

INT. BUS – DAY

Nelson is driving. Carrie writes her blog for the day. Then she responds to messages from her fans. She sends photos and videos to Sarah at TBN.

She gets a text to stop at City Park in the next town.

EXT. CITY PARK – DAY

The bus pulls into the parking lot of the park. There’s a banner up welcoming Carrie. Lots of people are there to cheer her on.

CARRIE

How did they know?

NELSON

Sarah’s fingerprints deem to be on this one.

Sarah and a camera operator step out from behind the crowd.

CARRIE

Your fingerprints too.

NESLON

Yeah. Mea Culpa.

EXT. BUS – DAY

Nelson helps Carrie out of the bus. She struggles to walk. He holds her up.

SARAH

What do you think?

CARRIE

I think you’re sneaky. And I love it.

SARAH

You’re a hero to so many people.

Carrie takes photos of people who come to wish her well.

INT. TBN STUDIO – DAY

Sarah is sitting at the stage desk.

SARAH

.. and that just one of many towns that a cheering Carrie on as she travels. You can follow her at carrieblog.com. Full disclosure, I’ve known Carrie for almost fifteen years. She was engaged to my brother up until twelve years ago. They’ve reconnected and are engaged again. She served in the Navy for twenty three years and retired earlier this year and a Senor Chief. She’s a combat Vet with a Purple Heart. Her whole Navy career was as a Seabee. So, you young girls out there – YEAH! You can do construction too. You can accomplish whatever you want.

KEY SCENE 2

EXT. CAMP – DAY

Snow is on the ground. Nelson helps Carrie from the bus and helps her into a wheel chair.

Staff show up to welcome them back.

WOMAN 1

We set up a cabin for you.

CARRIE

Thanks. I’ll enjoy having more space.

INT. CABIN – DAY

Nelson is putting wood in the fire place.

CARRIE

Thanks. I’ll be fine. Go get settled back in.

NELSON

See you at dinner. Cook’s making your favorite.

CARRIE

Chicken feet. Yum!

NELSON

Cook can do that too.

INT. DINING HALL – NIGHT

The dining hall is decorated for Christmas. The countdown to Christmas reads six days.

Carrie is seated at a table. Staff is going through the chow line.

Nelson approaches the table with two trays. He sets one in front of Carrie. It’s meat loaf, mashed potatoes and peas. On tip of the mashed potatoes is a yellow PEEP.

Carrie looks at Nelson then at the staff watching her and she breaks out laughing.

EXT. CAMP – DAY

Nelson pushes Carrie on a trail by the pond.

INT. WORKSHOP – DAY

Carrie visits with the Maintenance man.

Maintenance Man

How would you run new electrical lines for the exterior spot lights?

Carrie and the Maintenance man are going over a drawing of her ideas.

EXT. FIRE BREAK – DAY

Nelson lifts Carrie into the seat of the Grader. He stays with her. She starts the engine.

Carrie clears snow from the fire break.

CARRIE

I’d say I’m going to miss this. But I have a mansion waiting and I’m looking forward to being there.

NELSON

I’m sure it’s a beaut.

INT. CABIN – DAY

Carrie’s in bed. Nelson brings her breakfast.

NELSON

Merry Christmas Eve. I bring sustenance.

CARRIE

You’re too good for me.

NELSON

Not so. Yet, thanks.

CARRIE

Do me one more favor?

NELOSN

Sure, what?

EXT. CAMP PARKING LOT – NIGHT

Nelson lifts Carrie from the wheel chair and puts her in his truck.

EXT. ROAD – NIGHT

The headlights shine off the snowy trees.

NELSON

One of my favorite spots coming up.

EXT. LAKESIDE – NIGHT

Nelson

Looks like we got the timing right.

CARRIE

What?

NELSON

Shhh. Just watch, over those trees.

Nelson points

Slowly a full moon that’s bright orange begins to rise over the trees. Carrie cries.

CARRIE

Oh Nelson, it’s beautiful.

Carrie snuggle into his arm.

NELSON

You’re my full moon.

They watch as the moon rises higher. Nelson hears a long exhale. She’s no longer breathing.

Nelson cries, then deep sobs.

NESLON

Someday, I’ll come visit you in your mansion.

[James Clark]

THIRTY DAY SCREENPLAY # 20

James E. Clark: Completed Act 3

What I learned from this assignment: Filling in the holes between the Key scenes can be just as or even more challenging than the “big” Key scenes.

FINAL SCENE 3 OUTLINES

TE 9b

EXT. CAMP WORKSHOP – DAY

Carrie is teaching the volunteers how to use specific tools.

Carrie asks who want to learn how to operate the skip loader.

EXT. FIRE BREAK – DAY

Volunteers watch and listen to Carrie as she gives instructions. A twenty something gal jumps up as the first student. The skip loader jerks around as she tries to drive it.

TE 10b

INT. DINING HALL – NIGHT

Nelson and Carrie are enjoying some quiet time together. He slides a ring box across the table. She recognizes it. It’s the same engagement ring she wore twelve years earlier.

He asks her to marry him. She confesses she’s still in love with him.

She tells him her journey isn’t over yet and she has to do it on her own. She keeps the ring box but doesn’t opens it.

INT. NELSON’S OFFICE – DAY

He’s on the phone with his sister who’s a producer of documentaries.

EXT. BUS – DAY

Sarah, Nelson’s sister is interviewing Carrie about her journey.

At the end of the interview Sarah tells Carrie she glad Carrie is back in Nelson’s life and that he has not had a relationship since they ended their engagement twelve years earlier.

Carrie agrees to do a video blog on the rest of her journey.

TE 11

Sarah books Carrie for an interview on TBN.

INT. STAGE – DAY

Interview asks Carrie why the Navy. Carrie gives her story. Orphan. Was given a birth name by the orphanage. She changed it legally to Carrie Waters because she liked the serving concept of Chop Wood and Carry Water. The Navy was another opportunity to serve and have a great career.

INT. BATTALION COMMAND MASTER CHIEF’S OFFICE – DAY

The TV is on TBN. The interview finishes up. Battalion Commander is also watching.

COMMAND MASTER CHIEF

Thata girl.

Battalion Commander smiles and nods.

TE 14

INT. MOTEL ROOM – DAY

Carrie asks Nelson to mark off Florida and bring her the map. All fifty states have been marked off.

NELSON

Proud of you Babe.

Write The Outlined Scenes

Te9B

EXT. CAMP WORKSHOP – DAY

Carrie is holding up a pair of safety glasses.

CARRE

Again, how many pairs of eyes do you have?

VOLUNTEERS

ONE!

CARRIE

So the glasses…

VOLUNTEERS

SAVE EYES!

CARRIE

Who wants to learn how to drive the skip loader?

Every hand goes up.

EXT. FIRE BREAK – DAY

The volunteers are lined up next to the skip loader. Carrie has a young twenty something gal behind the controls.

CARRIE

Keep the clutch down unless your driving. This controls the bucket. Forward is down, back is up right tilts the bucket up, left tilts the bucket down. Got it?

Carrie jumps of and signals the girl to start. The engine starts, she lifts the bucket off the ground. She tries to put it in gear and the gears grind.

CARRIE

Push in the clutch. Then put it in gear.

The girl follows Carrie’s instruction. The skip loader lurches forward and dies. Crowd laughs. Girl does too.

EXT. CAP – DAY

Carrie and the volunteers are walking back for lunch.

CARRIE

You all did a great job.

VOLUNTEER

When do we get to try the road grader?

CARRIE

That’s a track vehicle. Operates very differently than a wheeled vehicle. Tell you what. Join the Army and sign up for Armor. You’ll get all the track driving you could ever want.

VOLUNTEER

Just might do that.

TE 10b

INT. DINING HALL – NIGHT

Carrie is sitting at a table. Nelson walks up with two cups in his hands

NELSON

Hot chocolate as requested.

Carrie smiles.

CARRIE

Thanks. Why here?

NELSON

It’s peaceful. And… anyway, I love the outdoors.

CARRIE

I understand.

NELSON

Why help out for free and cover the materials too?

CARRIE

Chop wood – carry water.

Nelson slides the ring box across the table to her. It’s the same one she had twelve years prior.

CARRIE (CON’T)

I love you. I do. But I’m not sure.

NELSON

Got it. Keep the ring. If you decide to wear it, so much the better.

NELSON

You mind if I share your story with Sarah?

CARRIE

I haven’t talked to her in years. She still with TBN?

NELSON

Yeah. This might make a great documentary.

CARRIE

I don’t know…

NELSON

What better way to chop wood and carry water than to share your story?

CARRIE

Who’s story?

NELSON

Yeah, got it. Jesus.

TE 11

EXT BUS – DAY

TBN is set up with directors chairs, lights and camera. Sarah and Carrie are miced.

SARAH

Carrie, why are you making this journey?

LATER

SARAH

Wrap. (TO CARRIE) I’m glad you and Nelson have reconnected.

CARRIE

That doesn’t mean th…

SARAH

Of course. No matter the outcome, your relationship is built on Christ. Did you know that he hasn’t gone out with or dated anyone since you guys broke up.

CARRIE

That’s like him. Me too.

SARAH

Not surprised.

INT. COMMAND MASTER CHIEF’S OFFICE – DAY

TV is on TBN.

CHIEF

Thata girl.

Battalion Commander is in the office. He smiles.

TE 14

INT. MOTEL ROOM – DAY

Carrie’s in bed.

CARRIE

Please, hand me my map and a marker.

Carrie marks Florida. She’s hit all fifty states.

NELSON

Proud of you Babe.

CARRIE

My purse please.

Nelson hands her the purse. She reaches in and pulls out the ring box. She hands it to Nelson. He opens the box and she holds out her left ring finger. He slide it on. It’s very loose on her hand.

CARRIE

One of the downsides of weight loss.

[James Clark]

THIRTY DAY SCREENPLAY ASSIGNMENT 19

James E. Clark Act 3: Turning point

What I learned from this assignment : This TP is the “final straw”. It forces the Protagonist into making one final decision that will bring the story to a conclusion.

OUTLINE OF ACT 3 KEY SCENES

KEY SCENE 1 TE 9 & TE10

Beginning

EXT. CAMP – DAY

Carrie is at a table down by the lake. Her Bible is open. She prays asking for guidance in dealing with civilian life.

Carrie starts to treat the volunteers as her equals rather than like young sailors.

Middle

The volunteers start to include Carrie in their off time activities. She builds a relationship with a woman close to her age.

Nelson starts to see a change in Carrie

Nelson and Carrie spend time together and eat at the same dining hall table.

Carrie is manifesting more symptoms of her disease.

End

Carrie makes plans to complete her 50 state journey.

KEY SCENE 2 TE 11

Beginning

Carrie is on the road. She stops by a river and soaks her feet in the water as she lays on her back watching the birds and clouds fly by.

She thanks God for letting her go on this journey

Middle

Carries driving through a small Midwest town. A poor farming community. She passes a Christian school.

She notes the leaning flag pole, the tattered US and State flags.

Carrie stops at the hardware store. She gets the flags,, rope, paint and a bag of cement.

Carrie gets permission from the school. She unloads the materials.

End

Flagpole is completed and standing upright.

KEY SCENE 3 TE 12

Beginning

Back on the road. Carrie is in a campground for the night.

She tells God she’s still mad at him for cutting her life short. But, she understands He’s in charge, not her.

Middle

Carrie’s in a restaurant going over her map. She has six states left to complete her journey. She notes that the last three will be South Carolina, Georgia and Florida.

She heads for New Hampshire, Vermont and Maine are also unmarked

Carrie’s in Maine. She opens her map. Vermont and New Hampshire are done.

KEY SCENE 4 TE 13

End

Carrie is beginning to have increased mobility issues.

ACT 3 Turning point

KEY SCENES 4

INT. BUS – DAY

Carrie gives Florida one final tap with her left ring finger. She checks her phone map. Driving distance to Miami is 1723 miles. She turns the ignition on and puts the bus in gear.

EXT. CAMPGROUND – DAY

Shenandoah Valley, Virginia.

Carrie’s chatting with a neighbor who looks surprised when Carrie’s nose starts to bleed. Embarrassed, Carrie excuses herself.

INT. BUS – DAY

Carrie cleans up. The bleeding has stopped.

INT. BUS – NIGHT

Carrie’s eating a dinner of canned Vienna Sausages. She eats methodically with the thousand yard stare. She has tissue in each nostril. Next to her is a pile of tissues that are soaked in blood. The tissue in her nostrils quickly gets soaked in blood. She removes them and puts in two fresh ones.

EXT. HIGHWAY – DAY

The bus starts to wobble. It starts to slow. Carrie pulls it over to the side of the road. The front axel breaks on the right. The bus shivers and leans to the right.

INT. BUS – DAY

Carrie needs support to walk. She has little strength left. She checks her GPS. She’s twenty miles from the Florida state line. She calls a towing service. Then she calls Nelson.

INT. TOW TRUCK -DAY

Carrie sits next to the driver as they cross the state line into Florida. She smiles.

INT. MOTEL ROOM – DAY

Carrie is in bed she has little energy. Nelson is in a chair holding her hand. He tells her that he got her a good deal on the bus from a former SEAL buddy. Nelson asks her if she’s ready to go home to the camp. She asks Nelson to pass her purse.

[James Clark]

THIRTY DAY SCREENPLAY ASSIGNMENT 18

James E. Clark Act 3: Things go well… until.

What I learned from this assignment: Using specified key scenes keep me focused on the story line.

OUTLINE OF ACT 3 KEY SCENES

KEY SCENE 1 TE 9 & TE10

Beginning

EXT. CAMP – DAY

Carrie is at a table down by the lake. Her Bible is open. She prays asking for guidance in dealing with civilian life.

Carrie starts to treat the volunteers as her equals rather than like young sailors.

Middle

The volunteers start to include Carrie in their off time activities. She builds a relationship with a woman close to her age.

Nelson starts to see a change in Carrie

Nelson and Carrie spend time together and eat at the same dining hall table.

Carrie is manifesting more symptoms of her disease.

End

Carrie makes plans to complete her 50 state journey.

KEY SCENE 2 TE 11

Beginning

Carrie is on the road. She stops by a river and soaks her feet in the water as she lays on her back watching the birds and clouds fly by.

She thanks God for letting her go on this journey

Middle

Carries driving through a small Midwest town. A poor farming community. She passes a Christian school.

She notes the leaning flag pole, the tattered US and State flags.

Carrie stops at the hardware store. She gets the flags,, rope, paint and a bag of cement.

Carrie gets permission from the school. She unloads the materials.

End

Flagpole is completed and standing upright.

KEY SCENE 3 TE 12

Beginning

Back on the road. Carrie is in a campground for the night.

She tells God she’s still mad at him for cutting her life short. But, she understands He’s in charge, not her.

Middle

Carrie’s in a restaurant going over her map. She has six states left to complete her journey. She notes that the last three will be South Carolina, Georgia and Florida.

She heads for New Hampshire, Vermont and Maine are also unmarked

Carrie’s in Maine. She opens her map. Vermont and New Hampshire are done.

KEY SCENE 4 TE 13

End

Carrie is beginning to have increased mobility issues.

ACT 3 THINGS GO WELL… UNTIL.

KEY SCENES 2 & 3

KEY SCENE 2

EXT. CAMP OFFICE – DAY

Nelson prays for Carrie.

NELSON

Lord, keep Carrie safe in the road. Guide her heart, give her joy and wisdom. Protect her and bring her back safe.

EXT. CAMP ENTRANCE – DAY

Neslon watches as Carries bus turns onto the road and disappears. He slowly heads back to the office.

EXT. CAMPGROUND – DAY

Carrie is cleaning up from breakfast and packs her stuff in the bus. She walks down to a nearby creek, removes her shoes and soaks her feet in the water. She lays back watching the clouds move through the sky.

CARRIE

Your creation is beauty beyond compare. Your will be done.

INT. BUS – DAY

Carrie is approaching a small town. The City Limit sign says the population is 1867. She slows down to reach the speed limit. She passes a church with a small Christian school attached. She slows down as she drives by. The flag pole is leaning, it needs a coat of paint, the lanyard is frayed and the flags are ragged.

EXT. HARDWARE STORE – DAY

Carrie loads a can of paint, rope, a bag of cement and a new flag into her bus.

INT. SCHOOL OFFICE – DAY

Carrie and the Principal shake hands.

EXT. FLAG POLE – DAY

Carrie takes a picture of the flag pole

The flag pole is on the ground as Carrie sprat paints it.

LATER

Carrie places the flag pole in the hole, braces it with some wood and uses her level to make sure it’s straight. She takes a picture of the base and brace work. She walks about thirty feet away to make sure it looks okay. She takes another picture.

LATER

Carry is pouring mixed cement into the hole and smooths it over with a trowel. She takes a picture of the cement work

LATER

The students, faculty and staff raise the new flag.

The students give Carrie a bouquet of daisies. A little girl gives her a big hug. She takes a picture of them standing around the flag pole.

EXT. BOONDOCK SITE – NIGHT

Carrie sends the pictures to Nelson and the staff at camp.

INT. NELSON’S CABIN – NIGHT

He texts her back

TEXT: Well done, good and faithful servant.

KEY SCENE 3

EXT. TRUCK STOP – DAY

A large busy truck stop. Carrie leaves the bus carrying a gym bag.

INT. TRUCK STOP COFFEE SHOP – DAY

A man sitting at the counter watches as Carrie pays her bill, sees the sign for the showers and heads in that direction. Then man watches as another man follows Carrie toward the showers. The first man follows.

INT. SHOWER ROOM – DAY

Carrie checks her wet hair in the mirror. She grabs her gym back and unlocks the shower room door. As she opens the door, the man who followed her shoves her back into the shower room.

INT. HALL OUTSIDE OF SHOWER ROOM – DAY

Yelling and screaming from inside the shower.

INT. SHOWER ROOM -DAY

The man from the lunch counter bursts through the door. Carrie squares off against him. He puts his hands up.

MAN 1

I’m security.

Man 2 who followed her is on the floor blood all over his face.

MAN 2

She broke my nose and fingers.

MAN 1

Shut up or I’ll bust something else.

Carrie drops her Martial Art stance. She struggles to catch her breath.

EXT. RV PARK – NIGHT

Well populated RV park.

INT. BUS – NIGHT

Carrie sits at her table. She closes her Bible and prays.

CARRIE

I’m angry, at life and at You. I had plans. I wanted to have kids and grandkids. I wanted to enjoy me retirement. I know that my ways aren’t Your ways. I’ve tried to live my life for you and now you take it from me! WHAT DO YOU WANT?

EXT. CAMP SITE – DAY

Carrie is drinking her coffee. She has her map open. Six states are left for her to visit; Vermont, New Hampshire, Maine, South Carolina, Georgia and Florida.

EXT. MOUNT KATYDIN, MAINE – DAY

Carrie opens her map. Vermont and New Hampshire are marked off. She puts the map in the bus and starts walking toward the mountain.

EXT. TOP OF MOUNT KATYDIN – DAY

Sign reads Northern Terminus – Appalachian Trail.

EXT. TRAIL – DAY

Carrie’s half way down the mountain. He leg gives out and she stumbles. As she stands she has trouble breathing.

INT. BUS – DAY

Carrie is looking at her map. South Carolina, Georgia and Florida are the remaining states she hasn’t visited. A drop of blood from her nose falls on the map. She opens the ring box looking at her engagement ring. She taps Florida with her ring finger..

[James Clark]

THIRTY DAY SCREENPLAY ASSIGNEMTN 17

James E. Clark Act 3 Reaction to midpoint

What I learned from this assignment: The processing of the outline into a scene gives structure to the process but also inspires creativity because it removes the problem of having to think of story structure on the fly.

OUTLINE OF ACT 3 KEY SCENES

KEY SCENE 1 TE 9 & TE10

Beginning

EXT. CAMP – DAY

Carrie is at a table down by the lake. Her Bible is open. She prays asking for guidance in dealing with civilian life.

Carrie starts to treat the volunteers as her equals rather than like young sailors.

Middle

The volunteers start to include Carrie in their off time activities. She builds a relationship with a woman close to her age.

Nelson starts to see a change in Carrie

Nelson and Carrie spend time together and eat at the same dining hall table.

Carrie is manifesting more symptoms of her disease.

End

Carrie makes plans to complete her 50 state journey.

KEY SCENE 2 TE 11

Beginning

Carrie is on the road. She stops by a river and soaks her feet in the water as she lays on her back watching the birds and clouds fly by.

She thanks God for letting her go on this journey

Middle

Carries driving through a small Midwest town. A poor farming community. She passes a Christian school.

She notes the leaning flag pole, the tattered US and State flags.

Carrie stops at the hardware store. She gets the flags,, rope, paint and a bag of cement.

Carrie gets permission from the school. She unloads the materials.

End

Flagpole is completed and standing upright.

KEY SCENE 3 TE 12

Beginning

Back on the road. Carrie is in a campground for the night.

She tells God she’s still mad at him for cutting her life short. But, she understands He’s in charge, not her.

Middle

Carrie’s in a restaurant going over her map. She has six states left to complete her journey. She notes that the last three will be South Carolina, Georgia and Florida.

She heads for New Hampshire, Vermont and Maine are also unmarked

Carrie’s in Maine. She opens her map. Vermont and New Hampshire are done.

KEY SCENE 4 TE 13

End

Carrie is beginning to have increased mobility issues.

ACT 3 REACTION TO MIDPOINT

KEY SCENE 1

EXT. DECK – DAY

Carrie is making notes on what needs to be done. Two girl volunteers walk by and don’t see her.

GIRL 1 (VO)

I just wish she were nicer.

GIRL 2(VO)

I know. And now the Camp Director is Navy too. Hope he’s nicer than her.

GIRL 1(VO)

Yeah. But he’s sure easy on the eyes.

GIGGLES

EXT. CAMP BY LAKE – DAY

Carrie is sitting at a picnic table. Her Bible is open. Her head is bowed.

CARRIE

Lord, please help me to be a better example of what a leader should be.

INT. DINING HALL – NIGHT

Carrie and Nelson are having a cup of coffee.

NELSON

So?

CARRIE

Treat them with respect.

NELSON

Yup. Nice goes a long ways.

EXT. CAMP – DAY

Carrie has a group of women volunteers. She’s giving them training on the use of power tools.

CARRIE

See? You can use power tools. Now you can go home and show up your husbands. Who wants to learn how to drive a skip loader tomorrow?

Every hand goes up.

SHEILA

Wanna join us for S’mores at the fire pit after dinner.

Carrie – big grin.

CARRIE

Yeah, nice.

INT. CARRIE’S RV – DAY

Carrie rolls out of bed and falls. She’s having trouble moving her legs.

INT. CAMP OFFICE – DAY

NELSON

You sure?

CARRIE

It’s time. I haven’t made my goal yet. I’ll come back.

[James Clark]

THIRTY DAY SCREENPLAY ASSIGNMENT #16

James E. Clark: Has completed Act 2 Draft 1

What I learned from this assignment: The process of creating the two previous exercises and then reviewing my Beat Sheet caused me to come up with new additional ideas for scenes.

Act 2 additional scenes Pre mid point

Beginning

EXT. NAVY BASE GATE – DAY

Carrie’s RV is pulling out of the gate at Port Hueneme, CA.

EXT. PACIFIC COAST HIGHWAY – DAY

Carrie is driving through the countryside north of Santa Barbara.

EXT HILLS – DAY

Carrie pulls into Ronald Reagan’s ranch Casa de La Cielo. She visits the museum.

EXT. PACIFIC COAST HIGHWAY – DAY

Carrie is pulled over just south of Big Sur and watching the ocean and waves as she eats her meal. She’s enjoying the view and serenity.

She gets out and walks a path down to the water.

INT. RV – NIGHT

Carrie is cleaning up form dinner and watching other campers at the campground move about.

Middle

EXT. CHURCH PARKING LOT – DAY

Sacramento, CA. Carrie has found a small church that needs some sprucing up. She offers to do work at not cost and she will cover materials.

Carrie replacing a door. Carrie fixing a toilet. Carrie painting a room. Carrie fixing the sprinkler system. Carrie planting flowers.

EXT. BRYCE CANYON – NIGHT

Carrie exits the RV with her coffee cup. She wanders over to the edge of the canyon and waits.

The sun starts to rise. She watches as the canyon walls change color with the rising sun. She’s satisfied.

INT. RV – DAY

Carries is driving through a rural area. She passes a private Christian school. In the front is a flag pole that is leaning with a tattered and faded US flag.

End

INT. HARDWARE STORE – DAY

Carrie has a bag of cement, a rope, a two by four and a new US flag.

EXT. SCHOOL – DAY

The flag pole is straight . It has a new lanyard and a new flag flying in the breeze

Students are standing around. The principal shakes Carrie’s hand.

Act 2 additional scenes post mid point

Beginning

EXT. WOODS – DAY

Carrie and Nelson are walking and talking

Middle

INT. FINE DINING RESTAURANT – NIGHT

Nelson slides a ring box to her. She opens it and sees it’s the same one she wore twelve years earlier.

Carrie revels her illness to Nelson. She tells him she needs to compete her journey or until she can’t do any more. He asks her to wear the ring until she is done with her journey or has to return. She says she’ll think about it – but keeps the box.

EXT. CAMP GROUND – DAY

Carrie is in Vermont in the Green Mountains. She runs into some nomads she met at her first Boondock site. They’re heads south to Florida.

Carrie’s headed north to Maine. She tells them she might see them in Florida later.

Carrie’s energy level is declining.

EXT. MOUNT KADYDIN MAINE – DAY

Carrie hikes to the top, slowly.

EXT. TOP OF MOUNT KATYDIN – DAY

Carrie looks at the panorama. There’s a plaque at the top that reads “Terminus- Appalachian Trail.

End

INT. RV – NIGHT

Carrie is reading and drinking a cup of tea. Her nose starts to bleed.

She opens her map. She has three states left, South Carolina, Georgia and Florida. She opens the jewelry box and looks at the ring. She taps her ring finger on the Florida Keyes.

[James Clark]

THIRTY DAY SCREENPLAY #15

James E. Clark Act 2 TP Midpoint

What I learned from this assignment: The process of turning the beat into an outline and the outline into the scene makes the process much easier, more creative and exciting to write.

OUTLINE

Beginning

INT. CAMP OFFICE – DAY

The new Camp Director is now there. Carrie walks in the office still fuming from her bout with the bureaucrat. She runs straight into NELSON MURDOCK (40) the retired Navy SEAL she almost married twelve years earlier. She freezes and stumbles over her words.

INT. FIRE WATCH TOWER ON A MOUNTAIN TOP – DAY

Ten miles from camp the forestry fire watcher spots a lightening strike and a blaze. He calls it in.

Middle

INT. CHURCH OFFICE – DAY

Carrie is looking at Nelson. Her mouth is still open. The phone rings. The secretary hands the phone to Nelson. He listens then thanks the person on the other end. Fire just started ten miles away and the wind is blowing in the direction of the camp. His first question is what are the emergency procedures and how often are drills run. Most recent drill was just a two weeks prior. He wants to know if there’s a fire break. There is but it’s on the to do list for clean up.

The only people in the camp are the staff and the volunteers. Campers arent’ expected for another two weeks.

EXT. CAMP EQUIMENT – LOT

Carrie grabs a volunteer who knows how to use a skip loader. She goes to the bull dozer. They start to clear the fire break.

EXT. FRONT OF OFFICE BUILDING – DAY

Nelson coordinates the rest of the volunteers and the staff to wet down as much of the property as possible, line up vehicles for retreat, put together food that can be eaten quickly and taken with them if they need to leave.

EXT. CAMP PARKING LOT – DAY

A fire crew shows up with two trucks. They set up strategically. Smoke is filling the air.

EXT. FIRE BREAK – DAY

Carrie and the volunteer have cleared the fire break. Carrie gets a call on her walkie talkie. The fire is now moving in a different direction. Safe for now.

End

INT. CAMP OFFICE – DAY

Carrie is covered in soot. She’s moving very slowly and Nelson notices. Now they have to deal with their reunion. And she dumps the permit issue in his lap.

SCENE

INT. CHURCH OFFICE – DAY

Carrie storms through the door

CARRIE

Lousy bureaucrats. A complete waste of oxygen.

SECRETARY

Yeah. He can be very difficult.

Out of Carrie’s eyesite, NELSON MURDOCH (40) isstanidng in the doorway fo the Camp Administrators office looking at her. He’s smiling.

NELSON

Some people never change.

Carrie whips around and sees Nelson. Her jow drops and she can’t get any words out.

NELSON

Silence isn’t normal for you.

SECRETARY

Carrie, meet…

CARRIE

Nelson Murdoch. Navy SEAL and all around good guy – sometimes.

Nelson grins.

NELSON

Carrie Waters. All around genuine ground breaker – sometimes.

INT. FIREWATCH TOWER ON MOUNTAIN TOP – DAY

The forest service workier is scanning the forest with hi9s binoculars. Dark cluds are in the air. Lightening strikes. He turns the binoculars in that direction. He sees smoke and then flames. He logs the entry. He picks up the mic to his radio.

FOREST SERVIE WORKER

Command – towere five.

COMMAND CENTER (VO)

Tower five – Command Center.

FOREST SERVICE WORKER

We have a lightening strike in grid fourteen section 3. I have visual on smoke and flames.

He checks the weather vane just outside his window.

FOREST SERVICE WORKER (CON’T)

…wind from the northwest at five MPH.

COMMAND CENTER (VO)

Copy that tower five.

INT. CAMP OFFICE – DAY

Phone rings. Secretary picks it up.

SECRETARY

Got oit, thanks. Neslon, there’s a forest fire moving outr way.

NELSON

Give me the protpcol – quick.

EXT. FRONT OF OFFICE – DAY

Volunteers and staff are all bunched together.

NELSON

Do you have the equipment Carrie?

Carrie nods.

NELSON

Okay. Head out. The rest of you have your assignments. Fire crews are on their way.

EXT. CAMP EQUIPMENT AREA – DAY

Smoke can be smelled.

CARRIE

We each start at opposite ends of the fire break and move toward each other. Got it?

VOLUNTEER 1

Sure do Sr. Chief.

CARRIE

We’re civilians. Carrie will do just fine.

Volunteer smiles.

VOLUNTEER 1

Copy that Sr. Chief.

Carrie nimbly climbs up to the drivers seat of the bull dozer. She immediately starts the engine.

They both laugh.

INT CAMP KITCHEN – DAY

Camp cook staff is putting together emergency food.

EXT. CAMP GROUNDS – DAY

Volunteers and other camp staff are busy watering down the roofs of buildings.

EXT. FIRE BREAK – DAY

Smoke is in the air. Carrie is sweaty and covered in soot. She calls the other drive on her walkie talkie.

CARRIE

Now!

The engines of both vehicles start to rumble. Carrie throws her dozer into gear.

EXT. CAMP PARKING LOT – DAY

Fire crew shows up and tells Nelson that the fire is now moving in a different direction. They are safe for the moment.

END

INT. CAMP OFFICE – DAY

Carrie is exhausted, covered is soot and ashes stuck to sweat. Nelson smiles as he looks at her.

NELSON

Well done. No bullets this time. But it was still an enemy.

CARRIE

Thanks. I need to clean up.

She starts to leave, stops and turns back to Nelson

CARRIE (CON’T)

Enemies come in all kinds of packages.

Nelson watches her as she leaves the office, limping.

[James Clark]

THIRTY DAY SCREENPLAY #15

James E. Clark Act 2 TP Midpoint

What I learned from this assignment: The process of turning the beat into an outline and the outline into the scene makes the process much easier, more creative and exciting to write.

OUTLINE

Beginning

INT. CAMP OFFICE – DAY

The new Camp Director is now there. Carrie walks in the office still fuming from her bout with the bureaucrat. She runs straight into NELSON MURDOCK (40) the retired Navy SEAL she almost married twelve years earlier. She freezes and stumbles over her words.

INT. FIRE WATCH TOWER ON A MOUNTAIN TOP – DAY

Ten miles from camp the forestry fire watcher spots a lightening strike and a blaze. He calls it in.

Middle

INT. CHURCH OFFICE – DAY

Carrie is looking at Nelson. Her mouth is still open. The phone rings. The secretary hands the phone to Nelson. He listens then thanks the person on the other end. Fire just started ten miles away and the wind is blowing in the direction of the camp. His first question is what are the emergency procedures and how often are drills run. Most recent drill was just a two weeks prior. He wants to know if there’s a fire break. There is but it’s on the to do list for clean up.

The only people in the camp are the staff and the volunteers. Campers arent’ expected for another two weeks.

EXT. CAMP EQUIMENT – LOT

Carrie grabs a volunteer who knows how to use a skip loader. She goes to the bull dozer. They start to clear the fire break.

EXT. FRONT OF OFFICE BUILDING – DAY

Nelson coordinates the rest of the volunteers and the staff to wet down as much of the property as possible, line up vehicles for retreat, put together food that can be eaten quickly and taken with them if they need to leave.

EXT. CAMP PARKING LOT – DAY

A fire crew shows up with two trucks. They set up strategically. Smoke is filling the air.

EXT. FIRE BREAK – DAY

Carrie and the volunteer have cleared the fire break. Carrie gets a call on her walkie talkie. The fire is now moving in a different direction. Safe for now.

End

INT. CAMP OFFICE – DAY

Carrie is covered in soot. She’s moving very slowly and Nelson notices. Now they have to deal with their reunion. And she dumps the permit issue in his lap.

SCENE

INT. CHURCH OFFICE – DAY

Carrie storms through the door

CARRIE

Lousy bureaucrats. A complete waste of oxygen.

SECRETARY

Yeah. He can be very difficult.

Out of Carrie’s eyesite, NELSON MURDOCH (40) isstanidng in the doorway fo the Camp Administrators office looking at her. He’s smiling.

NELSON

Some people never change.

Carrie whips around and sees Nelson. Her jow drops and she can’t get any words out.

NELSON

Silence isn’t normal for you.

SECRETARY

Carrie, meet…

CARRIE

Nelson Murdoch. Navy SEAL and all around good guy – sometimes.

Nelson grins.

NELSON

Carrie Waters. All around genuine ground breaker – sometimes.

INT. FIREWATCH TOWER ON MOUNTAIN TOP – DAY

The forest service workier is scanning the forest with hi9s binoculars. Dark cluds are in the air. Lightening strikes. He turns the binoculars in that direction. He sees smoke and then flames. He logs the entry. He picks up the mic to his radio.

FOREST SERVIE WORKER

Command – towere five.

COMMAND CENTER (VO)

Tower five – Command Center.

FOREST SERVICE WORKER

We have a lightening strike in grid fourteen section 3. I have visual on smoke and flames.

He checks the weather vane just outside his window.

FOREST SERVICE WORKER (CON’T)

…wind from the northwest at five MPH.

COMMAND CENTER (VO)

Copy that tower five.

INT. CAMP OFFICE – DAY

Phone rings. Secretary picks it up.

SECRETARY

Got oit, thanks. Neslon, there’s a forest fire moving outr way.

NELSON

Give me the protpcol – quick.

EXT. FRONT OF OFFICE – DAY

Volunteers and staff are all bunched together.

NELSON

Do you have the equipment Carrie?

Carrie nods.

NELSON

Okay. Head out. The rest of you have your assignments. Fire crews are on their way.

EXT. CAMP EQUIPMENT AREA – DAY

Smoke can be smelled.

CARRIE

We each start at opposite ends of the fire break and move toward each other. Got it?

VOLUNTEER 1

Sure do Sr. Chief.

CARRIE

We’re civilians. Carrie will do just fine.

Volunteer smiles.

VOLUNTEER 1

Copy that Sr. Chief.

Carrie nimbly climbs up to the drivers seat of the bull dozer. She immediately starts the engine.

They both laugh.

INT CAMP KITCHEN – DAY

Camp cook staff is putting together emergency food.

EXT. CAMP GROUNDS – DAY

Volunteers and other camp staff are busy watering down the roofs of buildings.

EXT. FIRE BREAK – DAY

Smoke is in the air. Carrie is sweaty and covered in soot. She calls the other drive on her walkie talkie.

CARRIE

Now!

The engines of both vehicles start to rumble. Carrie throws her dozer into gear.

EXT. CAMP PARKING LOT – DAY

Fire crew shows up and tells Nelson that the fire is now moving in a different direction. They are safe for the moment.

END

INT. CAMP OFFICE – DAY

Carrie is exhausted, covered is soot and ashes stuck to sweat. Nelson smiles as he looks at her.

NELSON

Well done. No bullets this time. But it was still an enemy.

CARRIE

Thanks. I need to clean up.

She starts to leave, stops and turns back to Nelson

CARRIE (CON’T)

Enemies come in all kinds of packages.

Neslon watches her as she leaves the office, limping.

[James Clark]

THIRTY DAY SCREENPLAY ASSIGNMENT #14

James E. Clark Act 2 Middle Scenes

What I learned from this assignment: By having the Protagonist struggle to be relevant, it heightens the curiosity of the audience in regards to the story.

<b style=”background-color: transparent; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>KEY SCENE 2 OUTLINE

EXT. CHURCH CAMP – DAY

Beginning

Carrie drives the RV into the camp. She gets out and stretches. As she walks she exhibits a slight limp. She goes to the camp office to let them know she just arrived. Office staff is happy to see her because the volunteer construction group needs leadership. Carrie asks to see the Camp Director. She’s told the Director who brought her on board is no longer there. The new Director will be coming in a week.

Middle

Carrie calls the volunteer group together consisting of twenty people from various churches. She tells them who she is. They’re glad to have her – at first. She divides them into teams of four. She lays out the plans for each team and each element of the project.

As she follows up with the teams she sees things that don’t meet her standard of quality. She makes her displeasure know in a very NCO manner. Several people go to the office to complain. They say they are volunteers not sailors.

End

Carrie realizes she’s made the same mistake she did at the boondock site. She brings the volunteers together for a fun day where they do team building games – some of which are construction related. She apologizes to them. After the games she treats them to pizza. The teams are able to work quickly and efficiently and Carrie treats them with respect that volunteers deserve.

KEY SCENE 3 OUTLINE

INT. COUNTY – PERMIT OFFICE – DAY

Beginning

Carrie enters the office with multiple drawings. She fills out an application for a construction permit. The county employee is on their cell phone holding a private conversation while Carrie politely waits. She’s annoyed by tries to hide it.

Middle

As Carrie ties to explain the project to him he’s rude and makes snarky comments about Christian Camps. She let’s the comments go by as she contuse to explain the project. He then insults her personally. She puts him in his place as if he were a Seaman Recruit. He’s incensed. Tells her off and refuses to give her a permit.

End

Carrie walks down the hallway to the off ice of County Board of Supervisors. She goes straight to the top. She explains her situation to the bureaucrat behind the counter who doesn’t seem to care. But she’s overheard by one of the County supervisors. Who takes charge and picks up the phone. Turns out he’s also a retired Navy NCO.

Carrie walks back down the hallway to the permit office. The permit is there waiting for her.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by  James Clark.

[James Clark]

THIRTY DAY SCREENPLAY ASSIGNMENT #13

James E. Clark Reaction to the Turning Point scene.

What I learned from this assignment: The transition from Act 1 TP to Act 2 needs to be obvious. It needs to show the Protagonist in circumstances that are outside of their comfort zones.

INT. RV – DAY

Carrie pulls out of the base gate and onto a highway. The sign reads Big Sur 175 miles.

Carrie is driving on a highway

BEAT A

EXT. BOONDOCK SITE – DAY

Carrie rankles people in an RV caravan by giving orders when she thinks she’s suggesting. She can’t understand why people dislike her.

EXT BOONDOCK SITE – DAY

There’s a problem with her solar electrical system and she can’t figure it out. She asks for help from the group. Everyone turns her down except for one person, a guy with other interests

INT. RV – DAY

Carrie s cooking a large pot of food

EXT. BOONDOCK SITE – NIGHT

She tries is to be nice by sharing food. A couple of people warm up to her, both women. But others still reject her and the guy treats her poorly because he didn’t get the kind of attention he wanted.

INT. RV – DAY

Carrie gets out of bed. Somethings different. She starts manifesting physical ailments that hinder her – slight, but there.

EXT BOONDOCK SITE – DAY

She’s feeling hurt but thankful for the two friends she made. She leaves the caravan group and goes off on her own.

OUTLINE A

EXT. BOONDOCK SITE – DAY

Beginning

Carrie finds a location she likes and starts to set up her camp

Middle

Carrie wanders around introducing herself to people. She tells a guy how to improve his RV. The guy gets mad at her. She doesn’t understand why. She tells someone else the best way to set up their solar panels. The tell her to mind her own business.

Back at her site, she goes over to the nearest RV and knocks on the door. A woman peaks through the blinds of a window. A man opens the door and is holding a rifle at port arms. He chews out Carrie for not following camp site protocol. Ya don’t knock on RV doors. That’s considered invading space.

People around camp are watching her and chit catting about her. Carrie notices.

End

Carrie retreats to the inside of her RV. She pulls up a YouTube video on RV camp site etiquette.

EXT. BOONDOCK SITE – DAY

Beginning

Carrie is having trouble with her internet reception. She approaches people in small groups and asks for advice. She’s rebuffed. Except by a guy who had other interests. Carrie picks up the vibe and declines the guys offer of assistance.

Middle

A woman comes to Carrie and tells her she shouldn’t be bossy. People will not like that in the nomad life.

End

Carrie goes to her RV and starts to cook a large pot of stew and makes biscuits.

EXT. BOONDOCK SITE – NIGHT

Beginning

Carrie places the pot on a folding table.

Middle

She invites the gal who gave her advice to get some stew.

The gal sees how much is there and tells Carrie that sharing of food is a good way to make friends. Carrie goes around inviting the rest of the campers. Each person took a single serving , thanking Carrie. She makes friends.

End

She approaches the neighbors who had the gun. Offers them dinner. They decline, angrily.

INT. RV – DAY

Beginning

Carrie gets out of bed. She has trouble walking

Middle

She tries to put her sox on and isn’t able to. It takes her twce as long to get dressed than usual.

End

Carrie struggles to break camp.

[James Clark]

THIRTY DAY SCREENPLAY # 12

James E. Clark Finished Act 1

What I learned from this assignment: The freedom to write without having to stop and “fix” stuff is empowering.

OUTLINE

OPENING

EXT. COMPANY HEADQUARTERS – DAY

Beginning

Sailors are scrambling to be in the right place in formation and on time. Everyone is at attention. One lone sailor is five seconds late and has to work is way into his place

Middle

Facing the Sailors is a diminutive Sr. Chief Carrie Waters. Five foot nuthin’ and a hundred pounds. She’s wearing immaculate Khaki’s with lots of ribbons including a Purple Heart.

End

She sarcastically thanks the late sailor for joining his shipmates. She tells the whole formation that she will inspect them prior to the Commander inspecting them and woe to anyone who’s not prepared.

EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE – DAY

Beginning

Sr. Chief Waters is watching a Seaman struggle with the operation of a large earthmover

Middle

With ease she scrambles up to the cab. Asks the sailor a few questions. Walks him through the operative procedure and has him restart the earth mover. It works.

End

She kindly confirms that the sailor is able to go through the steps to enforce is learning.

INT. CHAPEL CONFERENCE ROOM – NIGHT

Beginning

Women are milling around chatting and drinking coffee or bottled water. Some are in uniform, some in civies. Carrie is in civies. She calls them all to the table.

Middle

The are going through the story of Deborah in the Book of Judges. Carrie asks pointed questions of the participants to keep them engaged.

End

Bible study is over. Someone asks Carrie what she’ll do once she retires. She tells them she wants to visit every state in the US. Someone asks her about SEAL she was once engaged to. She brushes off the question .

INT. DOJO – NIGHT

Beginning

Carrie, 3^rd degree Black Belt is teaching a class of kids ages 8-15.

Middle

An 11-year-old boy gets too rambunctious and hurts a girl in the class. She orders him off the mat where he must kneel and watch the rest of the class continue.

End

She confronts the boy by asking him how much he likes being at the Dojo. He loves it. She gives him a serious reprimand threatening to expel him if he targets anyone else.

INT. CARRIE’S HOUSING – NIGHT

She’s researching online RV life and places to travel in the US. A drop of blood drips from her nose and onto her desk.

INCITING INCIDENT

INT. NAVY MEDICAL OFFICE – DAY

Beginning

Carrie wonders why she’s in the Dr’s office and not the exam room.

Middle

Physician gives Carrie bad news. One to two years at most.

End

EXT. FRONT OF MEDICAL CENTER – DAY

Carrie stands and stares into nothingness. Then starts to shake. She screams. She hears a voice behind her. It’s a Rear Admiral asking if she’s okay. She salutes and excuses herself

INT. BATALLION COMMANDERSERS OFFICE

Beginning

Sr, Chief Waters enters the Commanders office dressed in fresh Khakis. She reports. Commander welcomes her. Command Master Chief observes and smiles at her.

Middle

Commander informs her she will have to retire. She has sixty days left in the Navy. She will not make Master Chief and she won’t have a thirty year career.

End

EXT. BATTALION COMMAND HQ – DAY

Carrie stands and stares into nothingness. She kicks a concrete bench and SCREAMS!

A staff car with a one star flag drives by. The same Admiral rolls down the window and watches Carrie as the car drives by. She salutes.

ACT 1 TURNING POINT

REACTION TO INCITING INCIDENT

Beginning

INT. CARRIE’S HOUSING – NIGHT

She researches projects on turning a school bus into an RV

Middle

EXT. AUCTION SITE – DAY

Carrie walks around checking out various school busses.

Carrie bids on her favorite and loses. She bids on her #2 choice and gets it.

End

She drives it off the lot.

NAVY BASE MECHANIC SHOP

INT. SCHOOL BUS – DAY

BEGINNING

Carrie is ripping the seats out of the bus. She’s angry, crying and forceful as she works.

Middle

All the seats are out. She’s curled up in a ball on the floor of the bus crying and pouring her heart out to God.

Command Master Chief finds her in that state and prays with her. His wife wants her to come over for dinner.

Carrie lifts the hood and starts taking note of what mechanical issues need to be resolved.

End

Carrie texts the Command Master Chief, thanks him for the invitation and asks for a rain check.

INT. CARRIE’S HOUSING – NIGHT

BEGINNING

Carrie has a map of the US. She’s coloring in all the states she has been to – total of 36. She pours herself a drink.

Middle

Carrie is on Youtube watching videos of RV life. She simultaneously is making a list of what she wants to see in the fourteen states she’s never seen. She’s now drinking straight from the bottle.

End

Carrie is passed out on her bed. Her cat is curled up next to her. The empty bottle is tipped over on the night stand.

NAVY BASE MECHANIC SHOP

INT. RV – NIGHT

Beginning

Carrie is putting the finishing touches on the inside of her RV. Very functional and yet feminine.

Middle

INT. RV – DAY

The Women’s Bible study are having their study in the RV. They spend more time giggling about fond memories than in the Word.

EXT. RV – DAY

Carrie is washing the RV. A Harley pulls up next to her. The rider removes his helmet. It’s the Admiral. He’s sorry that she has to leave the Navy. If she ever needs anything, he’ll make sure the Navy will be there for her.

End

Carrie wishes them goodbye.

INT. NAVAL PERSONNLE OFFICE – DAY

Carrie is outprocessing.

EXT. COMMAND MASTER CHIEF’S HOUSING – DAY

Carrie knocks on door. She has flowers.

INT. COMMAND MASTER CHIEF’S HOUSING – DAY

Surprise party of the base Chiefs to say goodbye to Carrie. She’s touched

EXT. BATALLION PARADE GROUNDS – DAY

Beginning

Retirement ceremony for Sr. Chief Waters. Carrie stands next to the Battalion Commander and the Command Master Chief and watches as the Battalion marches in and then stands in formation to honor her.

Middle

Commander and Command Master Chief honor her.

Speeches are over and people crowd around Carrie wishing her well. She busy shaking hands and thanking people who have helped her in her career.

End

INT. RV – DAY

Carrie is driving her RV. She pulls out the gate of the base.

CALIFORNIA CENTRAL COAST

EXT. OCEAN OVERLOOK – DAY

Carrie wears a ball cap that reads Retired US Navy Sr. Chief. She sits on a folding chair. She prays for her food. Stars eating her lunch as she looks out at the ocean.

[James Clark]

THIRTY DAY SCREENPLAY ASSIGNMENT #11

James E. Clark Turning Point 1 Scenes

What I learned from this assignment: Writing is faster when I don’t stop to correct errors, change words or follow a different path. Save that for the end of the exercise.

Act 1 Beats

Inciting Incident:

INT. NAVY MEDICAL OFFICE – DAY

Carrie is in the doctor’s office on base. She’s been given the news of a terminal diagnosis. We don’t hear what it is, but we see her reaction.

INT. COMMANDER’S OFFICE – DAY

Carrie is informed she will be forced to retire after 23 years. She has 60 days until she’s a civilian.

ACT 1 TURNING POINT

REACTION TO INCITING INCIDENT

Carrie speeds up her plan for life after retirement.

Act 1 Outline

Inciting Incident

INT. NAVY MEDICAL OFFICE – DAY

Carrie is sitting in the waiting room. She gets called.

Carrie is shown to the Dr’s office rather than an exam room. She’s apprehensive.

INT. DOCTOR’S OFFICE – DAY

Carrie asks the Dr. why the office rather than an exam room. He responds that an exam is not necessary. She’s relieved – somewhat.

The Dr. tells Carrie she has one to two years left to live. He’s sorry the news couldn’t be better.

EXT. FRONT OF MEDICAL BUILDING – DAY

Carrie is standing – staring. She suddenly screams. From behind she hears a voice, turns to see the Admiral. Embarrassed she salutes and walks away.

INT. BATALLION WAITING ROOM – DAY

Carrie is dressed in her freshly laundered khaki’s. She sits in the waiting room.

The Command Master Chief steps out of the Commander’s office and beckons Carrie in.

INT. BATTALION COMMANDER’S OFFICE – DAY

They inform her that due to her illness, she will be retired with 23 years in service. She will not make Master Chief and she will not have a 30 year career. They are sorry and wish the news was better.

EXT BATTALION HQ BUILDING – DAY

Carrie is standing – staring. She screams – again. As she screams a car with a single star flag pulls up next to her and stops. The window rolls down and there’s the Admiral. He asks her if she’s okay. She nods, salutes and turns in the opposite direction and walks angrily.

Act 1 Turning point – Reaction to Inciting Incident

EXT. AUCTION LOT – DAY

Carrie is checking out school busses. She looks inside, under the hood and crawls underneath to check out the undercarriage. She makes notes on three busses.

INT. AUCTION ROOM – DAY

Carrie loses her first choice bid. She gets her second choice.

EXT. NAVY BASE MECHANICAL WORKSHOP – NIGHT

Carrie is ripping all of the seats out of the bus. She’s angry and every move she makes has an aggressive feel to it.

Carrie stares at a pile of 24 bus seats neatly stacked up.

INT. CARRIE’S NAVY HOUSING – DAY

She just arrives home from work. She heats herself a bowl of soup. She pulls out her checklist and checks off 1- emptying the interior of the bus and 2- verifying the quality of the engine and transmission.

She sits at a table working on her map of the US and the states she has not yet seen. Her Bible is on the table. When she’s done, done with the map, she goes over to a cabinet, grabs a bottle of gin and a bottle of tonic water bringing them back to the table. She puts ice in a tumbler and makes her drink. She looks back and forth from the drink to the Bible several times. She touches the Bible keeping her hand there. Then, she pushes the Bible away and succumbs to the drink.

INT. CARRIE’S NAVY HOUSING – NIGHT

Gin bottle is empty. Carrie is passed out on the couch.

EXT. NAVY BASE MECHANICAL WORKSHOP – DAY

The bus is completed. Simple design, functional – but feminine.

[James Clark]

THIRTY DAY SCREENPLAY # 10

James E. Clark Act 1 Inciting Incident

What I learned from this assignment: This gives me a simple process for writing drama in to the Inciting Incident.

Opening:

EXT. COMPANY HEADQUARTERS – DAY

Sr. Chief Carrie Waters I inspecting her sailors for morning “Formation”.

EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE – DAY

Sr. Chief Waters is berating a young sailor for not remember how to operate the heavy earth mover. She does it nicely but firmly.

INT. CHAPEL CONFRENCE ROOM – NIGHT

Sr. Chief Waters I at a Women’s Bible study on the Navy base. The younger women gravitate to her for advice.

INT. DOJO – NIGHT

Sr. Chief Waters is at a dojo wearing a 3^rd degree Black Belt. She’s teaching children the art of Tai Kwon Do.

Inciting Incident:

INT. NAVY MEDICAL OFFICE – DAY

Carrie is in the doctor’s office on base. She’s been given the news of a terminal diagnosis. We don’t hear what it is, but we see her reaction.

OUTLINE

OPENING

EXT. COMPANY HEADQUARTERS – DAY

Beginning

Sailors are scrambling to be in the right place in formation and on time. Everyone is at attention. One lone sailor is five seconds late and has to work is way into his place

Middle

Facing the Sailors is a diminutive Sr. Chief Carrie Waters. Five foot nuthin’ and a hundred pounds. She’s wearing immaculate Khaki’s with lots of ribbons including a Purple Heart.

End

She sarcastically thanks the late sailor for joining his shipmates. She tells the whole formation that she will inspect them prior to the Commander inspecting them and woe to anyone who’s not prepared.

EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE – DAY

Beginning

Sr. Chief Waters is watching a Seaman struggle with the operation of a large earthmover

Middle

With ease she scrambles up to the cab. Asks the sailor a few questions. Walks him through the operative procedure and has him restart the earth mover. It works.

End

She kindly confirms that the sailor is able to go through the steps to enforce is learning.

INT. CHAPEL CONFERENCE ROOM – NIGHT

Beginning

Women are milling around chatting and drinking coffee or bottled water. Some are in uniform, some in civies. Carrie is in civies. She calls them all to the table.

Middle

The are going through the story of Deborah in the Book of Judges. Carrie asks pointed questions of the participants to keep them engaged.

End

Bible study is over. Someone asks Carrie what she’ll do once she retires. She tells them she wants to visit every state in the US

INT. DOJO – NIGHT

Beginning

Carrie, 3^rd degree Black Belt is teaching a class of kids ages 8-15.

Middle

An 11-year-old boy gets too rambunctious and hurts a girl in the class. She orders him off the mat where he must kneel and watch the rest of the class continue.

End

She confronts the boy by asking him how much he likes being at the Dojo. He loves it. She gives him a serious reprimand.

INCITING INCIDENT

INT. NAVY MEDICAL OFFICE – DAY

Beginning

Carrie sitting on the exam table. The physician is reading lab reports then looks at MRI results.

Middle

Physician gives Carrie bad news. One to two years at most.

End

EXT. FRONT OF MEDICAL CENTER – DAY

Carrie stands and stares into nothingness. Then starts to shake.

INT. BATALLION COMMANDERSERS OFFICE

Beginning

Sr, Chief Waters enters the Commanders office dressed in Khakis. She reports. Commander welcomes her. Command Master Chief observes and smiles at her.

Middle

Commander informs her she will have to retire. She has sixty days left in the Navy. She will not make Master Chief and she won’t have a thirty year career.

ACT 1 TURNING POINT

REACTION TO INCITING INCIDENT

EXT. AUCTION SITE – DAY

Beginning

Carrie walks around checking out various school busses.

Middle

Carrie bids on her favorite and loses. She bids on her #2 choice and gets it.

End

She drives it off the lot.

EXT. NAVY BASE MECHANIC SHOP – DAY

BEGINNING

Carrie is ripping the seats out of the bus. She’s angry, crying and forceful as she works.

Middle

All the seats are out. She’s curled up in a ball on the floor of the bus crying and pouring her heart out to God.

Command Master Chief finds her in that state and prays with her. His wife her to come over for dinner.

Carrie lifts the hood and starts taking note of what mechanical issues need to be resolved.

End

Carrie texts the Command Master Chief, thanks him for the invitation and asks for a rain check.

INT. CARRIE’S HOUSING – NIGHT

BEGINNING

Carrie has a map of the US. She’s coloring in all the states she has been to – total of 36. She pours herself a drink.

Middle

Carrie is on Youtube watching videos of RV life. She simultaneously is making a list of what she wants to see in the fourteen states she’s never seen. She’s now drinking straight from the bottle.

End

Carrie is passed out on her bed. Her cat is curled up next to her. The empty bottle is tipped over on the night stand.

EXT. NAVY BASE MECHANIC SHOP – NIGHT

Beginning

Carrie is putting the finishing touches on the inside of her RV. Very functional and yet feminine.

Middle

The Women’s Bible study are having their study in the RV. They spend more time giggling about fond memories than in the Word.

End

Carrie wishes them goodbye.

EXT. BATALLION PARADE GROUNDS – DAY

Beginning

Retirement ceremony for Sr. Chief Waters. Carrie stands next to the Battalion Commander and the Command Master Chief and watches as the Battalion marches in and then stands in formation to honor her.

Middle

Commander and Command Master Chief honor her.

Speeches are over and people crowd around Carrie wishing her well. She busy shaking hands and thanking people who have helped her in her career.

End

INT. RV – DAY

Carrie is driving her RV. She pulls out the gate of the base.

[James Clark]

THIRTY DAY SCREENPLAY # 9

James E. Clark Act 1 Opening Scenes

What I learned from this assignment: We have been building a foundation for the story. We are now preparing to build the framing. The concept of a little bit at a time seems counterintuitive to being speedy. But it works!

Opening:

EXT. COMPANY HEADQUARTERS – DAY

Sr. Chief Carrie Waters I inspecting her sailors for morning “Formation”.

EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE – DAY

Sr. Chief Waters is berating a young sailor for not remember how to operate the heavy earth mover. She does it nicely but firmly.

INT. CHAPEL CONFRENCE ROOM – NIGHT

Sr. Chief Waters I at a Women’s Bible study on the Navy base. The younger women gravitate to her for advice.

INT. DOJO – NIGHT

Sr. Chief Waters is at a dojo wearing a 3^rd degree Black Belt. She’s teaching children the art of Tai Kwon Do.

Inciting Incident:

INT. NAVY MEDICAL OFFICE – DAY

Carrie is in the doctor’s office on base. She’s been given the news of a terminal diagnosis. We don’t hear what it is, but we see her reaction.

OUTLINE

OPENING

EXT. COMPANY HEADQUARTERS – DAY

Beginning

Sailors are scrambling to be in the right place in formation and on time. Everyone is at attention. One lone sailor is five seconds late and has to work is way into his place

Middle

Facing the Sailors is a diminutive Sr. Chief Carrie Waters. Five foot nuthin’ and a hundred pounds. She’s wearing immaculate Khaki’s with lots of ribbons including a Purple Heart.

End

She sarcastically thanks the late sailor for joining his shipmates. She tells the whole formation that she will inspect them prior to the Commander inspecting them and woe to anyone who’s not prepared.

EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE – DAY

Beginning

Sr. Chief Waters is watching a Seaman struggle with the operation of a large earthmover

Middle

With ease she scrambles up to the cab. Asks the sailor a few questions. Walks him through the operative procedure and has him restart the earth mover. It works.

End

She kindly confirms that the sailor is able to go through the steps to enforce is learning.

INT. CHAPEL CONFERENCE ROOM – NIGHT

Beginning

Women are milling around chatting and drinking coffee or bottled water. Some are in uniform, some in civies. Carrie is in civies. She calls them all to the table.

Middle

The are going through the story of Deborah in the Book of Judges. Carrie asks pointed questions of the participants to keep them engaged.

End

Bible study is over. Someone asks Carrie what she’ll do once she retires. She tells them she wants to visit every state in the US

INT. DOJO – NIGHT

Beginning

Carrie, 3^rd degree Black Belt is teaching a class of kids ages 8-15.

Middle

An 11-year-old boy gets too rambunctious and hurts a girl in the class. She orders him off the mat where he must kneel and watch the rest of the class continue.

End

She confronts the boy by asking him how much he likes being at the Dojo. He loves it. She gives him a serious reprimand.

INCITING INCIDENT

INT. NAVY MEDICAL OFFICE – DAY

Beginning

Carrie sitting on the exam table. The physician is reading lab reports then looks at MRI results.

Middle

Physician gives Carrie bad news. One to two years at most.

End

EXT. FRONT OF MEDICAL CENTER – DAY

Carrie stands and stares into nothingness. Then starts to shake.

[James Clark]

James E. Clark Beat Sheet Draft Two

What I learned from this assignment: Codifying where the Theme is revealed in the “beats” clarifies the Antagonist for me.

THEME: Dying with dignity

ANTAGONIST: Time – because for Protagonist, it’s finite.

1. Act 1: 25-30 pages Set up and see old ways

Opening:

EXT. COMPANY HEADQUARTERS – DAY

Sr. Chief Carrie Waters I inspecting her sailors for morning “Formation”.

EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE – DAY

Sr. Chief Waters is berating a young sailor for not remember how to operate the heavy earth mover. She does it nicely but firmly.

INT. CHAPEL CONFRENCE ROOM – NIGHT

Sr. Chief Waters I at a Women’s Bible study on the Navy base. The younger women gravitate to her for advice.

INT. DOJO – NIGHT

Sr. Chief Waters is at a dojo wearing a 3^rd degree Black Belt. She’s teaching children the art of Tai Kwon Do.

Inciting Incident:

INT. NAVY MEDICAL OFFICE – DAY

Carrie is in the doctor’s office on base. She’s been given the news of a terminal diagnosis. We don’t hear what it is, but we see her reaction.

INT. BATALLION COMMANDER’S OFFICE – DAY

Her Commanding Officer and the Battalion Command Master Chief instruct her that she is going into forced retirement. She has 60 days.

TE1: She tries to convince them that she can continue to do the job for more years. The Command Master Chief sets her straight

THEME: She knows her life will end soon. She experiences the pain of losing her career.

Act 1 Turning Point:

TE2 She finally learns to accept that she won’t make Master Chief.

THEME: She has to speed up her plan for her Bucket List.

EXT. AUCTION – DAY

Carrie purchases an old school bus

EXT. NAVY BASE MECHANICS SHOP – DAY

Carrie is working on transforming the bus into an RV

EXT. NAVY BASE MECHANIC SHOP – NIGHT

Carrie is putting the final touches on the build out. The look is practical but definitely feminine.

INT. CARRIE’S BASE HOUSING – NIGHT

Carrie is planning a trip with a map of the US. She learns about RV life from Youtube.

EXT. BATALLION HEADQUARTERS PARADE GROUND – DAY

Carrie is being honored for her retirement.

INT. BASE CLUB – NIGHT

Carries sailors throw her a going away party.

2. Act 2: 20-30 pages – challenge the old ways

INT. RV – DAY

Carrie is driving on a highway

TE3 Barking orders to civilians. OOOPS!

EXT. BOONDOCK SITE – DAY

Carrie rankles people in an RV caravan by giving orders when she thinks she’s suggesting. She can’t understand why people dislike her.

EXT BOONDOCK SITE – DAY

There’s a problem with her solar electrical system and she can’t figure it out. She asks for help from the group. Everyone turns her down except for one person, a guy with other interests

INT. RV – DAY

Carrie s cooking a large pot of food

EXT. BOONDOCK SITE – NIGHT

She tries is to be nice by sharing food. A couple of people warm up to her, both women. But others still reject her and the guy treats her poorly because he didn’t get the kind of attention he wanted.

INT. RV – DAY

Carrie gets out of bed. Somethings different. She starts manifesting physical ailments that hinder her – slight, but there.

THEME: Symptoms are manifesting.

EXT BOONDOCK SITE – DAY

She’s feeling hurt but thankful for the two friends she made. She leaves the caravan group and goes off on her own.

EXT. HIGHWAY – DAY

Carrie’s RV is driving through red rock country of southern Utah.

INT. RV – NIGHT

Early AM. Carrie is finishing her morning Bible study.

EXT. BRYCE CANYON – DAY

It’s still dark. Carries stands at the edge looking down into the canyon watching the colors of the rack change as the sun rises.

TE4: She’s touched by the beauty.

THEME: She’s finite. God’s creation will outlast her.

EXT. CHURCH – DAY

Church that needs some TLC.

INT. CHURCH OFFICE – DAY

Carrie offers to add some landscaping in exchange for staying in the parking lot.

EXT. CHURCH – DAY

Landscaping has shrubs and flowers and a sprinkler system. The building has been painted. Pastor offers her payment. She declines.

EXT. CHURCH CAMP – DAY

Carrie’s RV pulls into the camp. She has a gig at a church camp. She does not charge for her work. It’s her way of serving.

INT. CAMP OFFICE – DAY

Carrie asks for the Camp Director by name. Secretary says he’s retired and there’s a new Director is a former Navy SEAL that she almost married twelve years prior. Feelings still exist.

TE5: Now she had to deal with feelings that she has suppressed for twelve years.

THEME: Now she has to deal with love again in a limited time frame.

Turning Mid Point 2:

TE6: Barking orders – AGAIN.

INT. COUNTY PERMIT OFFICE – DAY

Carrie is trying to get a permit for construction work at the Camp. Bureaucrat is not cooperating. She reverts to “giving orders’. WRONG TACTIC. Leaves without the permit.

INT. COUNTY PERMIT OFFICE – DAY

Carrie returns. Apologizes explain she’s trying to adjust to civilian life. Bureaucrat is having none of it. Still no permit.

INT. CAMP OFFICE – DAY

Carrie informs SEAL of situations. He picks up the phone and calls to Permit office and speaks with the bureaucrat. He asks if they are still going fishing on Friday and then asks for the permit. Done deal. Carrie shakes her head.

TE7 – Carrie feels inept.

EXT. CAMP – DAY

A forest fire starts and the wind is blowing it toward the camp. Carrie and the SEAL use their command skills to create fire breaks, organize staff and campers for potential evacuation. She’s in her element.

TE 8- She’s getting her confidence back.

3. Act 3: 20 – 30 pages – With Mid Point Change Profound moments give us New Ways

TE 9: Learns that civilian life takes a different skill set to navigate day to day activities.

EXT. CAMP – DAY

The fire missed them. Carrie is beginning to see that even in civilian life, she needs to rely on teams to accomplish large tasks.

TE10: She goes back to her NCO training for getting the task done, but now treats the volunteers as her equal.

EXT. CAMP – DAY

Carrie is directing volunteers on multiple projects both inside and outside. She oversees the work and is having a great time.

INT. RV – NIGHT

Carrie is feeling more tired than usual. Symptoms are increasing. She opens her map. She started out needing 14 states to visit. She now only needs 7 more.

THEME: SYMPTOMS BEGIN TP TAKE THEIR TOLL.

EXT CAMP – DAY

She and the SEAL have fallen back in love. He agrees to support her travel goal. She agrees to return when she’s facing imminent death.

Projects are done. She and the SEAL – Director say their goodbyes.

THEME: THE END IS NOW IN SIGHT.

INT. RV – DAY

Carrie is on the road.

INT. CAMP OFFICE – DAY

SEAL (gotta give this guy a name) is on the phone talking with his sister who does human interest stories for a major Christian television network.

EXT. CAMPSITE – DAY

Smokie Mountains. SEAL’s sister and Carrie sit in camp chairs. A film crew is setting up.

TE11: She’s interviewed on TBN

EXT. CHRISTIAN SCHOOL – DAY

Flags on flag pole are ragged. Flag pole leans.

INT. HARDWARE STORE – DAY

Carrie buys some wood, a bag of cement, a can of paint, a US flag, a Tennessee flag and rope.

EXT. CHRISTIAN SCHOOL – DAY

Carries steps back from the flag pole. It’s straight, has a fresh coat of paint, a new lanyard and two new flags. She smiles.

INT. RV – NIGHT

Map has 3 states left to complete the 50. Carries symptoms are becoming more obvious.

TE12: She tells God she’s still angry. But thanks Him for the life she has had.

THEME: SHE POURS HER HEART OUT TO GOD.

EXT. COASTAL REGION – DAY

Late October. Cloudy and windy. Carrie is on an island in Maine. She stands looking out and the wild ocean. She smiles.

TE13: She’s beginning to have mobility issues

INT. RV – NIGHT

TE14: She marks off Maine on her map as the 50^th state. She made her goal.

THEME: SHES BEEN TO HER FINAL STATE. SHE IS FREE TO DIE.

4. Act 4: 25 pages – Test the change in this character! Prove the New Ways.

INT. RV – DAY

Carrie is praying that she’s just getting to enjoy civilian life and now it’s going to end soon. She asks for more time to get back to the Camp.

TE15: She calls SEAL and tells him shes’ on her way back

MONTAGE

EXT. RV ON THE ROAD – DAY

Headed West.

EXT CHURCH – DAY

Painting. Struggles with holding on to tools. She trips trying to get back into her RV.

EXT. VARIOUS – DAY

She spends more time getting to know the locals than she does working on projects – although she still does that too.

She takes candid photos of people in their everyday life.

She starts a blog about her travels and her predicament.

She phones SEAL weekly. He gives her regular encouragement.

EXT. CAMP – DAY

Carries struggles to get out of the RV.

EXT CAMP – NIGHT

TE16: SEAL carries Carrie to his truck and places her on the front seat.

EXT. HILLTOP OVERLOOK – NIGHT

It’s Christmas Eve. They watch the moon rise over the lake. She dies in his arms.

[James Clark]

James E. Clark Three passes

What I learned from this assignment: The prior building block assignments made this process very easy and allowed my creativity to be free to wander.

1. Act 1: 25-30 pages Set up and see old ways

Opening:

EXT. COMPANY HEADQUARTERS – DAY

Sr. Chief Carrie Waters I inspecting her sailors for morning “Formation”.

EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE – DAY

Sr. Chief Waters is berating a young sailor for not remember how to operate the heavy earth mover. She does it nicely but firmly.

INT. CHAPEL CONFRENCE ROOM – NIGHT

Sr. Chief Waters I at a Women’s Bible study on the Navy base. The younger women gravitate to her for advice.

INT. DOJO – NIGHT

Sr. Chief Waters is at a dojo wearing a 3^rd degree Black Belt. She’s teaching children the art of Tai Kwon Do.

Inciting Incident:

INT. NAVY MEDICAL OFFICE – DAY

Carrie is in the doctor’s office on base. She’s been given the news of a terminal diagnosis. We don’t hear what it is, but we see her reaction.

INT. BATALLION COMMANDER’S OFFICE – DAY

Her Commanding Officer and the Battalion Command Master Chief instruct her that she is going into forced retirement. She has 60 days.

TE1: She tries to convince them that she can continue to do the job for more years. The Command Master Chief sets her straight

Act 1 Turning Point:

TE2 She finally learns to accept that she won’t make Master Chief.

EXT. AUCTION – DAY

Carrie purchases an old school bus

EXT. NAVY BASE MECHANICS SHOP – DAY

Carrie is working on transforming the bus into an RV

EXT. NAVY BASE MECHANIC SHOP – NIGHT

Carrie is putting the final touches on the build out. The look is practical but definitely feminine.

INT. CARRIE’S BASE HOUSING – NIGHT

Carrie is planning a trip with a map of the US. She learns about RV life from Youtube.

EXT. BATALLION HEADQUARTERS PARADE GROUND – DAY

Carrie is being honored for her retirement.

INT. BASE CLUB – NIGHT

Carries sailors throw her a going away party.

2. Act 2: 20-30 pages – challenge the old ways

INT. RV – DAY

Carrie is driving on a highway

TE3 Barking orders to civilians. OOOPS!

EXT. BOONDOCK SITE – DAY

Carrie rankles people in an RV caravan by giving orders when she thinks she’s suggesting. She can’t understand why people dislike her.

EXT BOONDOCK SITE – DAY

There’s a problem with her solar electrical system and she can’t figure it out. She asks for help from the group. Everyone turns her down except for one person, a guy with other interests

INT. RV – DAY

Carrie s cooking a large pot of food

EXT. BOONDOCK SITE – NIGHT

She tries is to be nice by sharing food. A couple of people warm up to her, both women. But others still reject her and the guy treats her poorly because he didn’t get the kind of attention he wanted.

INT. RV – DAY

Carrie gets out of bed. Somethings different. She starts manifesting physical ailments that hinder her – slight, but there.

EXT BOONDOCK SITE – DAY

She’s feeling hurt but thankful for the two friends she made. She leaves the caravan group and goes off on her own.

EXT. HIGHWAY – DAY

Carrie’s RV is driving through red rock country of southern Utah.

INT. RV – NIGHT

Early AM. Carrie is finishing her morning Bible study.

EXT. BRYCE CANYON – DAY

It’s still dark. Carries stands at the edge looking down into the canyon watching the colors of the rack change as the sun rises.

TE4: She’s touched by the beauty.

EXT. CHURCH – DAY

Church that needs some TLC.

INT. CHURCH OFFICE – DAY

Carrie offers to add some landscaping in exchange for staying in the parking lot.

EXT. CHURCH – DAY

Landscaping has shrubs and flowers and a sprinkler system. The building has been painted. Pastor offers her payment. She declines.

EXT. CHURCH CAMP – DAY

Carrie’s RV pulls into the camp. She has a gig at a church camp. She does not charge for her work. It’s her way of serving.

INT. CAMP OFFICE – DAY

Carrie asks for the Camp Director by name. Secretary says he’s retired and there’s a new Director is a former Navy SEAL that she almost married twelve years prior. Feelings still exist.

TE5: Now she had to deal with feelings that she has suppressed for twelve years.

Turning Mid Point 2:

TE6: Barking orders – AGAIN.

INT. COUNTY PERMIT OFFICE – DAY

Carrie is trying to get a permit for construction work at the Camp. Bureaucrat is not cooperating. She reverts to “giving orders’. WRONG TACTIC. Leaves without the permit.

INT. COUNTY PERMIT OFFICE – DAY

Carrie returns. Apologizes explain she’s trying to adjust to civilian life. Bureaucrat is having none of it. Still no permit.

INT. CAMP OFFICE – DAY

Carrie informs SEAL of situations. He picks up the phone and calls to Permit office and speaks with the bureaucrat. He asks if they are still going fishing on Friday and then asks for the permit. Done deal. Carrie shakes her head.

TE7 – Carrie feels inept.

EXT. CAMP – DAY

A forest fire starts and the wind is blowing it toward the camp. Carrie and the SEAL use their command skills to create fire breaks, organize staff and campers for potential evacuation. She’s in her element.

TE 8- She’s getting her confidence back.

3. Act 3: 20 – 30 pages – With Mid Point Change Profound moments give us New Ways

TE 9: Learns that civilian life takes a different skill set to navigate day to day activities.

EXT. CAMP – DAY

The fire missed them. Carrie is beginning to see that even in civilian life, she needs to rely on teams to accomplish large tasks.

TE10: She goes back to her NCO training for getting the task done, but now treats the volunteers as her equal.

EXT. CAMP – DAY

Carrie is directing volunteers on multiple projects both inside and outside. She oversees the work and is having a great time.

INT. RV – NIGHT

Carrie is feeling more tired than usual. Symptoms are increasing. She opens her map. She started out needing 14 states to visit. She now only needs 7 more.

EXT CAMP – DAY

She and the SEAL have fallen back in love. He agrees to support her travel goal. She agrees to return when she’s facing imminent death.

Projects are done. She and the SEAL – Director say their goodbyes.

INT. RV – DAY

Carrie is on the road.

INT. CAMP OFFICE – DAY

SEAL (gotta give this guy a name) is on the phone talking with his sister who does human interest stories for a major Christian television network.

EXT. CAMPSITE – DAY

Smokie Mountains. SEAL’s sister and Carrie sit in camp chairs. A film crew is setting up.

TE11: She’s interviewed on TBN

EXT. CHRISTIAN SCHOOL – DAY

Flags on flag pole are ragged. Flag pole leans.

INT. HARDWARE STORE – DAY

Carrie buys some wood, a bag of cement, a can of paint, a US flag, a Tennessee flag and rope.

EXT. CHRISTIAN SCHOOL – DAY

Carries steps back from the flag pole. It’s straight, has a fresh coat of paint, a new lanyard and two new flags. She smiles.

INT. RV – NIGHT

Map has 3 states left to complete the 50. Carries symptoms are becoming more obvious.

TE12: She tells God she’s still angry. But thanks Him for the life she has had.

EXT. COASTAL REGION – DAY

Late October. Cloudy and windy. Carrie is on an island in Maine. She stands looking out and the wild ocean. She smiles.

TE13: She’s beginning to have mobility issues

INT. RV – NIGHT

TE14: She marks off Maine on her map as the 50^th state. She made her goal.

4. Act 4: 25 pages – Test the change in this character! Prove the New Ways.

INT. RV – DAY

Carrie is praying that she’s just getting to enjoy civilian life and now it’s going to end soon. She asks for more time to get back to the Camp.

TE15: She calls SEAL and tells him shes’ on her way back

MONTAGE

EXT. RV ON THE ROAD – DAY

Headed West.

EXT CHURCH – DAY

Painting. Struggles with holding on to tools. She trips trying to get back into her RV.

EXT. VARIOUS – DAY

She spends more time getting to know the locals than she does working on projects – although she still does that too.

She takes candid photos of people in their everyday life.

She starts a blog about her travels and her predicament.

She phones SEAL weekly. He gives her regular encouragement.

EXT. CAMP – DAY

Carries struggles to get out of the RV.

EXT CAMP – NIGHT

TE16: SEAL carries Carrie to his truck and places her on the front seat.

EXT. HILLTOP OVERLOOK – NIGHT

It’s Christmas Eve. They watch the moon rise over the lake. She dies in his arms.

[James Clark]

James E. Clark Transformational Events

What I learned from this Assignment: Filling in the transformation events helps to give me more creative ideas for the story.

1. Character Arc, Old Ways & New Ways

Carrie Waters Character Arc that represents “Transformation”.

a. Internal Journey: From a cynical concept of civilian life to enjoying the freedom

b. External Journey: From a tough Navy NCO POV to civilian life

Old Ways and New Ways

c. Old Ways: Rigid schedule, gives/takes orders, cynical of civilians, lived in nice Navy housing, if it ain’t Navy it’s nothing. Gave up on love

d. New Ways: Sets own schedule, gives/takes suggestions, civilians are great, lives in a van, civilian life is worth living. Finds love again at the end of her life.

2. & 3. Six – eight changes or steps that need to happen for the character to go from who they are in the beginning (Old Ways) to who they are in the ending (New Ways) Then sequence for easiest to most difficult.

A. Learn that Civilian life requires a different set of management skills.

B. Learn to lead teams from a civilian perspective

C. Reconnect with her former love.

D. Learn to enjoy the daily freedom she has to make choice for her own life

E. Accept that she won’t be able to make Master Chief

F. Learn to accept God’s timing for her life

G. Learn to love again

H. Accept her fate of a terminal diagnosis

3. Brainstorm Dramatic Events that could cause theses changes

A. Barking orders at volunteers and having them rebel

B. Being told by her Commanding Officer that she must retire after 23 years and she will not be able to make Master Chief.

C. Accepted as volunteer help at a Christian camp. When she arrives the former Camp Director is gone and the new Director is her prior love from a decade earlier – Navy SEAL

D. Rather than standing morning Formation, she’s watching the sunrise at Bryce Canyon

E. She continues her Physical Training by running.

F. She get’s angry at God for her life being shortened. But then finds peace in His authority over her life.

G. Her story gets out and she’s interviewed on TBN.

H. She begins losing mobility.

I. She makes it to her fiftieth state

J. She returns to the camp where she and the SEAL get married

K. He carries her to his truck. They drive to an overlook of a lake. She dies in his arms.

1. Act 1: 25-30 pages Set up and see old ways

Opening: Sr. Chief Waters is berating a young sailor for not remember how to operate the heavy earth mover. She does it nicely but firmly.

Sr. Chief Waters I at a Women’s Bible study on the Navy base. The younger women gravitate to her for advice.

She is at a dojo wearing a 3^rd degree Black Belt. She’s teaching children the art of Tai Kwon Do.

Inciting Incident: Carrie is in the doctor’s office on base. She’s been given the news of a terminal diagnosis. We don’t hear what it is, but we see her reaction.

Her Commanding Officer and the Battalion Command Master Chief instruct her that she is going into forced retirement. She has 60 days.

She tries to convince them that she can continue to do the job for more years. The Command Master Chief sets her straight

Turning Point: Carrie purchases an old school bus and builds it out into her own custom RV. She starts planning her trip round the country. She goes on websites and offers her services to churches, schools and camps.

The bus buildout is complete. She has a plan. Navy friends throw her a party and wish her well.

She finally learns to accept that she won’t make Master Chief.

2. Act 2: 20-30 pages – challenge the old ways

Carrie rankles people in an RV caravan by giving orders when she thinks she’s suggesting. She can’t understand why people dislike her.

Barking orders.

There’s a problem with her solar electrical system and she can’t figure it out. She asks for help from the group. Everyone turns her down except for one person.

She tries to be nice by sharing food. Not working there either.

She starts manifesting physical ailments that hinder her – slight, but there.

She’s feeling hurt, she leaves the caravan group and goes off on her own.

After her morning Bible study, she watches the sunrise over Bryce Canyon Utah

She has a gig at a church camp. She does not charge for her work. It’s her way of serving. The Camp Director turns out to be the Navy SEAL she almost married. She doesn’t know how to react. He understand her and is kind. She responds with kindness. He never married either.

Now she had to deal with feelings that she has suppressed for twelve years.

Turning Mid Point 2:

Carrie runs into a county bureaucrat who makes her life miserable in trying to get permits for work to be done for the camp. She starts by giving him “orders” but realizes that is not working in civilian life. She goes back with honey rather than vinegar. He’s still a jerk. She enlists the camp director who resolves the whole thing.

Barking orders.

A fire starts in the forest near the camp. She jumps on the skip loader and tries to create a fire break. The skip loader breaks down and she doesn’t have the tools to fix it. Fortunately the fire was extinguished.

Feels inept.

She’s frustrated that being a civilian is tougher than she thought and tougher than the Navy.

Learns that civilian life takes a different skill set to navigate day to day activities.

3. Act 3: 20 – 30 pages – With Mid Point Change Profound moments give us New Ways

Carrie is beginning to see that even in civilian life, she needs to rely on teams to accomplish large tasks.

She goes back to her NCO training for getting the task done, but now treats the volunteers as her equal.

She realizes she needs to move on to accomplish her travelling goal. She finishes the project. BUT…

She and the SEAL have fallen back in love. He agrees to support her travel goal. She agrees to return when she’s facing imminent death.

Carrie is on the road.

She’s interviewed on TBN

Carrie is working at a Christian school.

Carrie now has six states left to see. Her map indicates the 44 states she has been in.

She tells God she’s still angry. But thanks Him for the life she has had.

Carrie is on an island in Maine.

She’s beginning to have mobility issues

She marks off Maine on her map as the 50^th state. She made her goal.

4. Act 4: 25 pages – Test the change in this character! Prove the New Ways.

Carrie is starting to enjoy life as a civilian while her physical capabilities are slowly declining.

She’s working her way back to the Camp.

She spends more time getting to know the locals than she does working on projects – although she still does that too.

She takes candid photos of people in their everyday life.

She starts a blog about her travels and her predicament.

She phones SEAL weekly. He gives her regular encouragement.

She finds herself able to accomplish tough projects because she trusts civilians to be team players.

It’s Christmas Eve. Back at the camp, she declines quickly. He carries her to his truck. They drive to an overlook to watch the moon rise over the lake. She dies in his arms.

[James Clark]

James E. Clark Transformational Structure

Title: Carrie Waters

What I learned from this Assignment: Breaking down the Structure into ACTS allows me to simplify my thoughts and to organize the story.

1. Concept, Main Conflict, Old Ways and New Ways

Concept: CREATING MY CONCEPT

A. Who is the lead character this story is about: Carrie Waters. Retired Navy Sr. Chief, 40. 23 years in the Navy as a SeaBee.

B. What is the improbable goal that Carrie is going for: Spend her retirement travelling and making life better for others. Helping on church construction projects in every state.

C. What/who is the opposition: 1) A pending serious illness. Time is the opposition 2) Because of her petite size, people don’t take her constructions skills seriously. Being underestimated is the opposition 3) She is treated poorly for her Christina faith. Anti Christian bigotry is the opposition.

D. What is the interesting world worth exploring: The various projects she tackles and the people she meets.

E. What makes this concept unique: A petite (100#) woman is highly experienced in all aspects of construction. Because of her military career, she’s a great leader and negotiator and she’s a 3^rd degree Black Belt in Tai Kwon Do

CREATING THE LOGLINE

A. A retired Navy Sr. Chief spends her retirement travelling and doing construction jobs for churches as she faces a terminal illness.

B. A retired SeaBee Sr. Chief wants to spend her retirement travelling to all fifty states and helping on church construction projects. Her diminutive size leads to people not taking her seriously.

C. A diminutive retired SeaBee Sr. Chief travels in her van hoping to help churches in all fifty states on construction projects as she faces racial bigotry and a terminal illness.

Main Conflict: Due to a terminal diagnosis, Carrie Waters has a limited amount of time to enjoy her retirement from the Navy and to use her skills to help others during that time.

Carrie Waters

a. Old Ways: Rigid schedule, gives/takes orders, cynical of civilians, lived in nice Navy housing, if it ain’t Navy it’s nothing.

b. New Ways: Sets own schedule, gives/takes suggestions, civilians are great, lives in a van, civilian life is worth living.

2. Act 1: 25-30 pages Set up and see old ways

Opening: Sr. Chief Waters is berating a young sailor for not remember how to operate the heavy earth mover. She does it nicely but firmly.

Sr. Chief Waters I at a Women’s Bible study on the Navy base. The younger women gravitate to her for advice.

She is at a dojo wearing a 3^rd degree Black Belt. She’s teaching children the art of Tai Kwon Do.

Inciting Incident: Carrie is in the doctor’s office on base. She’s been given the news of a terminal diagnosis. We don’t hear what it is, but we see her reaction.

Her Commanding Officer and the Battalion Command Master Chief instruct her that she is going into forced retirement. She has 60 days.

Turning Point: Carrie purchases an old school bus and builds it out into her own custom RV. She starts planning her trip round the country. She goes on websites and offers her services to churches, schools and camps.

The bus buildout is complete. She has a plan. Navy friends throw her a party and wish her well.

3. Act 2: 20-30 pages – challenge the old ways

Carrie rankles people in an RV caravan by giving orders when she thinks she’s suggesting. She can’t understand why people dislike her.

There’s a problem with her solar electrical system and she can’t figure it out. She asks for help from the group. Everyone turns her down except for one person.

She tries to be nice by sharing food. Not working there either.

She starts manifesting physical ailments that hinder her – slight, but there.

He feeling hurt, she leaves the caravan group and goes off on her own.

She has a gig at a church camp. She does not charge for her work. It’s her way of serving. The Camp Director turns out to be the Navy SEAL she almost married. She doesn’t know how to react. He understand her and is kind. She responds with kindness. He never married either.

Turning Mid Point 2:

Carrie runs into a county bureaucrat who makes her life miserable in trying to get permits for work to be done for the camp. She starts by giving him “orders” but realizes that is not working in civilian life. She goes back with honey rather than vinegar. He’s still a jerk. She enlists the camp director who resolves the whole thing.

A fire starts in the forest near the camp. She jumps on the skip loader and tries to create a fire break. The skip loader breaks down and she doesn’t have the tools to fix it. Fortunately the fire was extinguished.

She’s frustrated that being a civilian is tougher than she thought and tougher than the Navy.

4. Act 3: 20 – 30 pages – With Mid Point Change Profound moments give us New Ways

Carrie is beginning to see that even in civilian life, she needs to rely on teams to accomplish large tasks.

She realizes she needs to move on to accomplish her travelling goal. She finishes the project. BUT…

She and the SEAL have fallen back in love. He agrees to support her travel goal. She agrees to return when she’s facing imminent death.

Carrie is on the road.

Carrie is working at a Christian school.

Carrie now has six states left to see. Her map indicates the 44 states she has been in.

Carrie is on an island in Maine.

5. Act 4: 25 pages – Test the change in this character! Prove the New Ways.

Carrie is starting to enjoy life as a civilian while her physical capabilities are slowly declining.

She spends more time getting to know the locals than she does working on projects – although she still does that too.

She takes candid photos of people in their everyday life.

She starts a blog about her travels and her predicament.

[James Clark]

INTERVIEWING MY PROTAGONIST

James E. Clark Character Interviews

What I learned from the assignment: Using stream of consciousness allows my brain to freely root out information about my character that I was unaware of previously. A very freeing experience.

1. Tell me about yourself.

a. I’m the most fortunate gal in the world. Enlisted in the Navy at 17. Never knew my parents and I grew up in a horrible orphanage. Navy has given me stability, education, opportunities galore. Twenty three years later, I’m a Sr. Chief over 200 Sailors in a SeaBee unit. I know! Me construction? Five foot nothin’ and 100#. But I’m darned good at what I do! With the exception of Jesus Christ, the Navy has been my life, my love and my home for 23 years. Yeah, I’m a Bible believing Christian. In Boot Camp my Sr. NCO gave me two books to read – The Late Great Planet Earth and Mere Christianity. When I returned them to her she asked me what I thought. I had written down about 20 questions. So I hit her up and she answered each and every one. She led me to Christ and I was baptized by the Chaplain. I’ve lived, up ‘til now, a very wonderful life.

2. Until Now?

a. I want to stay in the Navy, make Master Chief and complete 30 years. However, I’m dying. It’s time for me to enter a new chapter in my life. So I’m really looking forward to the time I have left to enjoy God and the life He has given me.

3. Why do you think you were called to this journey? Why you?

a. Our days on Earth are numbered by God. He has a plan for us from birth to death. In my life he has given me the opportunity to develop construction skills that I can use to help others. Now I’m going to have the time to do that – help others. The Navy taught me that “service” is an example of love and loving my country is honorable. Christ taught me to love others as I love myself. So, I want to somehow use my training to help others and I want to see as much of America that I can until I no longer can.

4. In order to survive or accomplish this, you are going to have to step way outside of your box. What changes do you expect to make and which of them will be the most difficult?

a. Navy life is highly structured. I apply that structure to my faith life as well. The benefit to that is that I know what to expect of myself daily. If I’m going to transition to civilian life and travel on my own, I’m going to have to learn to trust my planning and leadership training in a new environment. I’ll be on my own. I know I’ll be safe because I’m a 3^rd degree Black Belt in Tai Kwon Do and I’m skilled with firearms. But, the thing that scares me the most is meeting new people and having to develop new relationships. I’ve worked with the same people for over twenty years.

5. What habits or ways of thinking do you think will be the most difficult to let go?

a. Navy life is very structured. I have always know what I was going to do, where I was going to do it, why I was going to do it, when I was going to do it and how I was going to do it. Now I’m going to have the freedom to go when I want, be where I want, do what I want and how I want. That’s going to take some getting used to.

6. What fears, insecurities and wounds have you held back?

a. As an orphan, I have felt abandoned causing me to not want to have a family. There was a guy in my life for awhile. Great Christian and one tough Sailor – SEAL. But I chased him off because I was afraid of not being able to live up to the concept of the ideal wife.

7. What skills, background or expertise makes you well suited to face this conflict or antagonist?

a. My Antagonist is – time. My conflict is that I’m going to die much sooner than I have anticipated. Military leadership skills have taught me to face tough situations with calmness, thoughtfulness and rapid decision making. So, I think I can transition into this new season with dignity. That doesn’t mean I won’t grieve for what I am losing – I will. But it means I will handle it in a dignified manner. As to my skills, I can do anything regarding construction; from operating large heavy equipment to finish carpentry, plumbing, electrical, cabinetry, HVAC, landscaping and maintenance. Those are what I hope to use to help others as I travel down this new road.

8. What are you hiding from other characters? What don’t you want them to know?

a. My fear of being on my own. My fear of meeting new people. My internal grief.

9. What do you think of your Antagonist – Time?

a. There is a season for everything; a time to plant – a time to reap; a time to live – a time to die. My season for living is coming to an end. I cannot stop it and from a Christian perspective I don’t want to stop it. God’s timing for my life is His prerogative. Yet, even though I know what my end result will be, I sometimes have questions about my transition between earth and heaven.

10. Tell me your side of this conflict/story.

a. I’m going to travel. I’m going to see the 35 states I’ve never been to. On my journey I’m going to help out where and when I can, using my skills and training.

11. What does it do for your life if you succeed here?

a. I will have been in all fifty states and I will have a legacy of helping others and honoring God.

12. Other Questions

[James Clark]

THIRTY DAY SCREENPLAY ASSIGNMENT # 3

SUBJECT: James E. Clark – Character Profile 2

What I learned from this assignment: The value of traits, flaws, subtext and Irony coupled with Assignment #2 begins to create a vision of how my Protagonist functions in the world; how she views herself and how she interacts with others.

1. 3 minute empowerment – Done

2. Part 2 of Character Profile

a. What draws us to this character: A mixture of tough military experience and gentle love for mankind.

b. Traits: Confident, focused, curious, woman of faith, adventurous.

c. Subtext: Controls her fear of her illness by sticking to her goals. Her kindness is expressed in encouraging others.

d. Flaw: She has difficulty getting close to others emotionally

e. Values: Precision; Quality work; Time; Bible; Structure; America

f. Irony: She’s giving up structure to live on the road and see America. It also means she will interact with many new people.

g. What makes this the right character for this role?: As a diminutive woman she doesn’t appear to fit the mold for construction (twist). This gives her an advantage when she’s able to display her skills because people are intrigued.

3. Make improvements to Part 1 profile and meld with Part 2

Changes are in italics

a. Protagonist : Explorer – Carrie is exploring the freedom of civilian life vs military life and how that freedom is expressed in her Christian faith.

b. Antagonist: Change Agent – TIME which is running out on her as she deals with a terminal diagnosis.

c. Other characters:

i. Supporting: A love interest from Navy days; an Editor who encourages her to write her story; a Women’s Ministry leader; a Contractor who doubts her skills.

ii. Minor roles: Pastors; a couple of thugs; Navy physician; Navy Chaplain; various people from her travels.

iii. Background: Sailors; construction workers; people in church; people in camp grounds.

d. Genre: Drama

e. Lead Character Development

f. Role in the story: An explorer trying to reconcile military vs civilian life, how to use her skills to serve others in Christ, how she should then live with a limited amount of time.

g. Age range/Description: 40; very petite – 100#; black; pretty; 23 year Navy Vet; in charge attitude.

h. Internal Journey: From a cynical concept of civilian life to enjoying the freedom

i. External Journey: From a tough Navy NCO POV to civilian life

j. Motivation: Live life in service of Christ

k. Wound: Never knew her parents/being an orphan

l. Mission/Agenda: Travel to all fifty states and use her skills to help churches

m. Secret: 1-She’s dying and would have studied architecture if she did have a terminal diagnosis; 2-She’s a 3^rd degree Black Belt in Tai Kwon Do; 3- As an orphan, she legally changed her name to Carrie Waters after learning the meaning behind the term Carry Water.

n. What makes her special: Due to her career as a Navy SeaBee, she’s capable of doing all types of construction from heavy equipment to finish carpentry, plumbing and electrical. She knows it all. As a woman in the Navy, she learned to be strong by being kind and firm at the same time.

[James Clark]

SUBJECT: James E. Clark – Character Profiles Part 1

What I learned from this assignment: By defining my character in simple terms, it’s easier to build on that foundation than it would be to create that character in detail early on.

1. 3 minute empowerment : Done

2. Protagonist : Explorer – Carrie is exploring the freedom of civilian life vs military life and how that freedom is expressed in her Christina faith.

3. Antagonist: Change Agent – TIME which is running out on her as she deals with a terminal diagnosis.

4. Other characters:

a. Supporting: A love interest from Navy days; an Editor who encourages her to write her story; a Women’s Ministry leader; a Contractor who doubts her skills.

b. Minor roles: Pastors; a couple of thugs; Navy physician; various people from her travels.

c. Background: Sailors; construction workers; people in church; people in camp grounds.

5. Genre: Drama

6. Lead Character Development

a. Role in the story: An explorer trying to reconcile military vs civilian life, how to use her skills to serve others in Christ, how she should then live with a limited amount of time.

b. Age range/Description: 40; very petite – 100#; black; pretty; 23 year Navy Vet; in charge attitude.

c. Internal Journey: From a cynical concept of civilian life to enjoying the freedom

d. External Journey: From a tough Navy NCO POV to civilian life

e. Motivation: Live life in service of Christ

f. Wound: Never knew her parents/being an orphan

g. Mission/Agenda: Travel to all fifty states and use her skills to help churches

h. Secret: She’s dying and would have studied architecture if she did have a terminal diagnosis; she’s a 3^rd degree Black Belt in Tai Kwon Do

i. What makes her special: Due to her careen as a Navy SeaBee, she’s capable of doing all types of construction from heavy equipment to finish carpentry, plumbing and electrical. She know’s it all.

[James Clark]

SUBJECT: James E. Clark Transformational Journey

What I learned from this assignment: By distilling down the compare and contrast of the Internal/External Journeys and the Old/New Ways helps clarify the traits that my Protagonist is going to experience.

1. 3 Minute Empowerment: My empowerment moment comes from having a 4.0 at the local community college after getting out of the Army 1974-1975.

2. Carrie Waters Character Arc that represents “Transformation”.

a. Internal Journey: From a cynical concept of civilian life to enjoying the freedom.

b. External Journey: From a tough Navy NCP point of view to civilian life.

3. Old Ways and New Ways

a. Old Ways: Rigid schedule, gives/takes orders, cynical of civilians, lived in nice Navy housing, if it ain’t Navy it’s nuthin’

b. New Ways: Sets own schedule, gives/takes suggestions, civilians are great, lives in a van, civilian life is just as empowering as Navy life.

[James Clark]

Name: James E. Clark

Scripts: 6

Hope to Accomplish: Write more powerful scripts faster

Uniqueness: Play the bagpipes

[James Clark]

James E. Clark

“I agree to the terms of this release form.”

[James Clark]

Patricia, another prayer warrior! Keep it up.

[James Clark]

Good on ya, Kate.

[James Clark]

Ginny, hope you feel better soon. Covid is a weird disease. Been there.

[James Clark]

Karen, nice to meet you. When I was in the Army (USA), I was stationed in Neu Ulm, FRG from 1971 -1974. I got to go to the Munich Olympics. Beautifu country.

[James Clark]

Will, keep up the work. The process of learning to write screenplays is similar to the Tranformation Journey we are learning right now.

[James Clark]

Bill, nice to meet you. I’m guessing you are living Winston Churchill’s quote “Never give up, never give up, never give up”. Stay in the game.

[James Clark]

Bob, from one Vet to another – Good on ya Mate.

[James Clark]

Patricia,

I like the story. The description of “L.L. Bean woodsman painted the perfect picture of someone not skilled in the outdoors. May I suggest that you slowly and incrementally increase the suspense and intrigue. That way, when it’s revealed it becomes a powerful reveal.

Well done.

Jim Clark

[James Clark]

Joseph,

Great concept. I laughed at the first scene from under the table. You have lots of opportunity to fill in more techniques. For example, rather than having Trent whisper into other characters ears. Have him say the words. That way the audience is aware of whats going on, but it’s hidden from Robert.

Good job

Jim Clark

[James Clark]

Dana, are you still interested in doing the Producer interviews? I’m also behind due to work.

Jim Clark

[James Clark]

Amy, I read magazines the same way.