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Jan Fantl

Member
May 7, 2024 at 9:05 pm in reply to: Lesson 2

Jan Puts Essence to Work
What I learned is that re fining is potentially a never ending process.
Script I choose: THIRST – Pilot (developed during the `23 binge class)
Scene 1 Location: end of intro
Logline: Oliver and Aide walk towards the HQ, Oliver insecure wether his general wants to see him because of his complaint in writing .
Essence I’ve discovered: It’s about Loyalty
New Logline: Oliver and Aide walk towards the HQ, Aide makes clear he will have his back about the complaint as well as the increasing situations under PTSD.
Scene 2 Location: first third of act one
Logline: Oliver stands in front of his squadron and has to announce the death of two comrades same time with the regime how everyone will have to report who triggered his weapon and the fact the he will be on leave for a couple of days during this mourn and process
Essence I’ve discovered: It’s about Oliver would rather not leave his position but somehow helping the mother is a common must.
New Logline: Oliver informs his squad the he’d be rather in war with them than flying home to mourn at civilian funeral
Scene 3 Location: 2nd sc. 3rd act
Logline: Oliver searches for a way to register at his home to enable him to get access to his parents’ place of murder
Essence I’ve discovered: It is more about, Oliver is has a suspicious reputation from the past – and feels unwanted in his hometown
New Logline: Oliver seeks to register and is told he is not welcome
Scene 4 Location: 3rd sc. 3rd act
Logline: Oliver discovers his late fathers brother in a Resto with Clarice, lying to him.
Essence I’ve discovered: Oliver taps into the hornet nestNew Logline: Oliver discovers his late fathers brother lying to him sitting together with two of his biggest opponents
Scene 5 Location: 1st sc. 4th act
Logline: Oliver meets the police officers in the district where his father had his mortal accident
Essence I’ve discovered: it’s about Oliver feels like a stranger onand on
New Logline: Oliver seeks first informations about his fathers accident and feels like an unwanted stranger again, so many times this day.
Jan Fantl

Member
May 7, 2024 at 5:09 pm in reply to: Lesson 2

dear class mates,
please accept my apologies for letting you, the class down.
Returning from a six days stint in a hospital – without a lap top and on top no energy to focus on this course- I am back in my habitat and will try to dive into the chapters and assignments missed and to catch up with you.
Maybe that is the situation to use AI to speed me up and work on the same assignments you are already looking at.
speak soon
Jan
Jan Fantl

Member
April 29, 2024 at 8:52 pm in reply to: Lesson 1
Jan Fantl – Finds the Essence

What I learned is to re visit a script of a movie I know well put up a pair of fresh glasses and looking for depth and see/ find the essence of the respective scenes.
Script I choose: SPARTAN by David Mamet
Scene 1 Location: 2nd sequence in INTRO 
Logline: Sergeant Jackie thanks Scott for being honored to work for him at the hidden training facility  
Essence: Scott (protagonist) is a tough officer yet with an utmost high reputation among this special ops staff.

Scene 2 Location: 2nd half 2nd act
 Logline: the president’s wife secret service detail unveils deep knowledge that the president’s team will let Laura die rather than risk the campaign. 
ANGLE INT. SANITORIUM. The woman is Mrs. Newton. She walks
with a companion, she wears sunglasses, and starts out of
the sanitorium. As Scott walks up, some yards behind her,
following her out onto a roofed porch. The woman moves to
the far end of the porch, obviously weeping. Scott enters
the porch, and stands for a moment. Beat.
DONNY (V.O.)
…terrible thing, grief…
Scott turns to her, to see a lovely woman in her late
fifties, sitting on a lounge chair, a robe over her legs,
indicating the weeping woman.
Scott nods, and takes something from his pocket. He starts
toward the weeping woman, but the other woman holds him with
her voice.
DONNY
…you want to comfort them, but
you don’t know how.
(pause)
I always think it’s better to
Leave Them Alone…
Scott nods his acceptance of her wisdom, and begins to start
toward the woman.
SCOTT
(of Mrs. Newton, and
the woman, talking to her)
A relative?
DONNY
A psychic.
(pause)
SCOTT
Well.
(pause)
Can we blame her…?
(he gestures, meaning,
we get comfort where
we can find it)
DONNY
That’s right.
Scott begins to move toward Mrs. Newton. The woman on the
lounge chair sits up.
DONNY
…who are you…?
SCOTT
(moving off)
United States Secret Service.
The woman moves her blanket to reveal a pistol which she holds.
DONNY
Guess again, ’cause I’m the
Secret Service, and you follow
my directions or I will shoot
you dead. Spread your hands to
your sides, please…
(Scott spreads his
hands to his sides)
Open them…
He opens his hands to show the red crescent earring. We see
the demeanor of the woman in back of him change, as she sees
the earring. She comes up to Scott, and he turns around. She
looks up, asking, mutely, what it means.
/TIME CUT/
DONNY
(sotto, unable to stop
her invective)
…the motherfuckers pulled the
Detail off of her…He was in
town. Her father was in town,
they pulled the Secret Service
Detail off her, to take him
tomcatting. He’s been doing it
for years. That’s what they do.
They turn the Secret Service
into a bunch of pimps. He took
her protection, she got snatched…
SCOTT
He’d let her die?
A female Agent knocks at the door and sticks her head in and
Donny gestures "rotate".
FEMALE AGENT
…leaving the post…
Donny gestures that she has heard. The Agent leaves and the
door is closed.
DONNY
(meaning, "this is my surmise")
The start of a campaign: Your
daughter got kidnapped because
you were out getting laid?
SCOTT
Her father would let her die…?
DONNY
Who knows if he knows. His
’people’ would let her die in a
heartbeat.
SCOTT
…her mother…?
DONNY
(pause. She takes up
the earring and she
begins to weep. She
looks beseechingly at Scott)
I’m her mother…
She takes out a small, tattered, cheap earring box.
ANGLE INS. We see the empty place for holding two earrings,
and a small arcade photo of a five-year-old Laura Newton,
and this woman, Donny, fifteen years younger. They are
hugging. Scott turns over the photo to read, in a childish
scrawl, "Donny, you can keep the box, cause I’ll never take
them off". Donny starts to weep.
SCOTT
I need some money.
(Donny looks up at him questioningly)
I’m going to get the girl back.
DONNY
What can I do?
SCOTT
I need money. I need a lot of money.
DONNY
(of Mrs. Newton)
I’ve been signing her checks for
years.
SCOTT
Alright…
(he scribbles a figure
on a napkin)
Can you go this high, that’s
what I need…
DONNY
(as she looks down at
the figure on the paper)
…I…I don’t…is there
anywhere else you…
ANGLE. Both look to the side.
ANGLE, their POV. One of the Secret Service Agents, looking
askance at Scott. Does a double-take. And begins to raise
his cuff mike to his lips to speak.
ANGLE, on Donny, as she sees this, and turns around.
ANGLE, her POV. The empty room. Scott vanished.

Essence: Scott and Donny are the only two caring about Laura and Scott will bring her back. – Strangers can be more parental than parents
Why is this the scene with utmost profound essence to me? The scene centers around the aftermath of the alleged tragic accident involving Laura Newton, highlighting the deep emotional pain and grief experienced by Donny, a Secret Service agent who regards herself as Laura's real mother. The discussion between Scott and Donny reveals themes of protection and betrayal, especially regarding the president's misuse of Secret Service resources and its role in Laura’s kidnapping, which underscores a broader critique of power misuse.

Scene 3 Location: campfire scene before finale in 3rd act 
Logline: Scott prepares Laura in an isolated desert location that he will bring her on the flight home, when she she expresses feelings of being uncared for and abandoned
 Essence: Scott is a Ranger, the Spartan, he will finish his mission no matter what.

Scene 4 Location: mid of 1st half 2nd act
 Logline: The president’s advisor, Burch, asks Scott if he would be the man for a dirty mission off this mission 
Essence: Scott will do whatever it takes.

Scene 5 Location: End of movie
 Logline: Scott watches world news on a street in London – how happily the President watches Laura arriving back home – the ultimate lie. 
Essence: Scott is the last witness who knows the truth and therefore cannot return home. – If you really stick to values, you are willing to pay a high price.
- This reply was modified 1 year ago by Jan Fantl.
Jan Fantl

Member
April 25, 2024 at 12:27 pm in reply to: Introduce Yourself to the Group

Hi, Jan Fantl here, I currently live in Berlin and on Ibiza, right in the heart of Europe. I have a background in television episode writing and produced several successful TV shows. I have written a couple of scripts produced for tv, none for theatrical so far, I have experience in directing, which eventually led me to producing. I worked in LA for ten years as a film funds manager and producer, and after 52 theatrical movies and several decades in the industry, I am about to return forward to a new challenge to develop own “stuff”.
This is my third long class with Hal and I am excited to up my skills, fine tune and learn new techniques by joining this boot camp. Weird? I work every day on my ability not to judge in this judgmental industry and believe that the universe will deliver whatever if I only order clearly and precisely.
Jan Fantl

Member
April 25, 2024 at 11:59 am in reply to: Confidentiality Agreement

Jan Fantl, I agree to the terms of this release form.
Jan Fantl

Member
September 19, 2023 at 1:00 pm in reply to: Confidentiality Agreement

I agree to the terms of this release form.

Jan Fantl
Jan Fantl

Member
August 16, 2023 at 7:26 pm in reply to: Lesson 15

Many many changes from Lesson 13,14,15

THIRST

SEASON ONE – STEAL
A SOLDIER IS COMING HOME (PILOT)

Written by

Jan Fantl

Idea developed by

Jan Fantl

EFOROX OÜ
Narva mnt 5
10117 Tallinn, Estonia jan_fantl@me.com

EXT. WAR ZONE VILLAGE – DAY
SOLDIER BAUER, in combat uniform, drinks from his canteen.

Desert heat. Some twenty soldiers load two trucks with bags tightly wrapped in plastic.

SUPER: 2021 AFGHANISTAN

A child in an Arabic Niqab (10ish) approaches BAUER’s car, mimicking the drinking sign.

EXT. WAR ZONE ROADSIDE – DAY

In a distance Major OLIVER WIND, in full German combat gear, sits on the roof of a DINGO, an armored military vehicle, grabs for his mouth piece…

OLIVER (in mike)

Falcon One for nest. Keep the kiddo away. Don’t let it come near to any of you.

…and scans the huts and houses around the square. His special unit of fifteen German soldiers cover the activities with an inner ring.

EXT. WAR ZONE VILLAGE -DAY

Bauer, sits on a semi armored pick up truck, waves with his hand towards the kid to stay away.

The kid stops, signals too, makes the international sign for drinking again.

OLIVER (O.S.)

Soldier in nest, do not let the kid approach, it could be an asset. Copy.

It waves with both hands, Please! The soldier ignores the warning ..

The Kid approaches the truck…

BAUER
I think he really asks for

something to drink. He looks thirsty

Focused and not happy about the answer.

OLIVER (O.S.)

Shoo him away. This is an order.

EXT. WAR ZONE ROADSIDE – DAY

OLIVER
Any team near the kid and nest?

AIDE (over intercom)

I am 30 sec away

VOICE 3 (over intercom)

On my way, in 20
… the kid is only 18 sec away.

Oliver shoots into the air. He raises attention.

The working soldiers turn. The kid the last meters towards the truck.

Soldier Bauer lifts his weapon. He now.

BAUER
Stop. Do not come close!

Oliver aims at the kid through his the kid … nothing in his hands

turns… and starts to run understands the situation

Stop now!
special rifle’s scope…

OLIVER
Somebody has to be around. All ring

one: check visuals, somebody must have an eye-line with him.

He searches the windows and roof tops from his PoV

VOICE (over intercom)

Suspect on my eleven o’clock, your eight.

Oliver swings around, backwards ….

VOICE (CONT’D)
Window, first floor, zero25 clicks.

2.

… and sees through the scope a man watching. He swings back…

OLIVER
Stop the boy, shoot in the sand in

front of his feet, or his feet, NOT THE BODY! stop him. NOW.

BAUER
Stop. Do not come close! Stop now!

… He’s only nine or so.
The kid is almost in reach of the truck.

Oliver swings around with his scope. The man behind the window speaks. Is this praying? Yes!!!!!

Oliver swings back, aims through scope. The back…

OLIVER (his inner voice)

It’s a kid… the butt …

the leg…

OLIVER (CONT’D) It’s a bomb..

OLIVER (CONT’D) It’s a kid..

the knee…

OLIVER (CONT’D) It’s a bomb

Oliver triggers…

… the back of the leg is hit, blood gushes visibly on the niqab, the kid stumbles, falls.

The momentum makes the kid continue to roll on its way forward.

Oliver swings around. The man bows. The kid touches the truck

ARABIC KID Allah is great

KARRRBOUUMMMMHH

3.

Everything explodes, a fireball, the truck is lifted several meters, no kid, a soldier body flies burning through the air …. a second detonation, fire and dust.

Oliver his face covered, watches, speaks same time.

OLIVER (intercom)

All team Falcon. Outer ring: nobody leaves the village. Inner ring: Swarm and find his accomplices, the kid didn’t trigger it by himself. Somebody nearby did. Find these fuckers!

… jumps off his Dingo and runs

OLIVER (CONT’D)
Medics, stay back, wait for orders.

Bauer lies 24 meters away from where seconds ago his truck was. Oliver knees next to him…

.. checks the area, with scope and without.

OLIVER (CONT’D) Clear. Medics come in.

..and opens the Kevlar vest, a lot of blood gushing.

OLIVER (CONT’D) Falcon One for Camp M, copy.

VOICE CAMP (O.S.)

Come in Falcon One.

OLIVER
We have been ambushed. One man

wounded, one seriously…. Two medics appear, bend over BAUER.

OLIVER (CONT’D)
… We are 45 clicks out, preparing

for transport. Send Medvac for air transport, prepare hospital. Copy that.

Around them, soldiers run around, villagers scream… it’s turmoil.

4.

VOICE CAMP (O.S.)

Copy. Two injured, one for immediate surgeries. Forward ID and we’ll prepare for blood preserves at al.

OLIVER
Complete ID on daily sheet … for

He grabs the dog-tag out of the gushing blood, wipes it.

OLIVER (CONT’D)
… Golf-Echo-Mike-Zero-One-Zero- Seven-One-Nine-Nine-Four ID five-

zero-five-zero-six-seven.

VOICE CAMP (O.S.)

Recorded. Will forward. ESTA us once airborne. Copy that

OLIVER

Cop..
The medics try to keep Bauer alive.

VOICE CAMP (breaking up, white noise)

Falcon? Copy…….Falcon Cop SCREEN GOES BLACK.

EXT. MILITARY CAMP – IN FRONT OF POLICE BUILDING – DAY OVER BLACK

AIDE (O.S.)

Oliver…Oliver, common, Oli for God’s sake.

ON: Oliver explodes out of a nightmare dream, disturbed and agitated.

OLIVER
You can make … What. Ohh. What.

….Fuck… Again.

AIDE
Yo bro. You need to wake. Here.

5.

SERGEANT AIDE holds a bottle of water. Oliver goes from something into nothingness, starts shaking on his seat, hyperventilates.

OLIVER
No. Ohhhhh. W…what….hm Hm hm

It’s a panic attack.
Aide, not surprised, slaps his face.

AIDE
Yes, you can…, come back, I am

here, ….common…

It does not work, he grabs a grocery bag from one of his many soldier pants pockets and pulls it over Oliver’s head. Pulls it tight.

AIDE (CONT’D) Calm, calm….it’s all good.

Oliver defends himself, wriggles and squirms. Aide holds tight and he faints and slumps in his seat.

Aide releases the grocery bag instantly and Oliver gains consciousness and returns to this side of the universe…

..handed a can with a power drink.

AIDE (CONT’D)
Welcome back, boss. Are we ready to

continue with that prick?

OLIVER In a sec.

Takes a sip. Inhales. Another sip. Not fit.

OLIVER (CONT’D) Ok, Allah is great. Let’s see

He gets up and they walk into the building marked Military Police – MP.

END OF TEASER

6.

ACT 1: TRAVEL

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM – DAY

Oliver leans over the table – time has passed – and pushes a plastic cup to the end of his third of the table.

OLIVER (in English)

Ok, let’s look at it this way. Here is some water. What do you want to put on your side of the playfield? A name, a name of a tribe, a village? Tell me.

The TRANSLATOR seated next to him points at the cup.

TRANSLATOR
Bāshe, bīāyīd īnja bengarīm. Īnjā

ye kam āb hast. Mikhāy chīzī rūy-e zamin-e bāzi begzāri? Ye nām, yā nām-e yek dehkade? Behem bego.

MAHMOUD
Nāme man Mahmūd Khālid ben Khālid

Al Masmoorī ast va man yek jangjū- ye Khodā hastam.

TRANSLATOR
My name is Mahmoud Khalid ben

Khalid Al Masmouri and I am warrior of Allah.

OLIVER
Yes. But he is all Muslims Allah,

not yours alone. And he would accept apologies if we’d knew who ordered you to trigger.

TRANSLATOR
Baleh. Amma hattā jangjūhā ham

shavāliyehā, khādemhā va rūesāyi dārand. Agar bedānim kī dastur-e to rā barā-ye eqdām dāde ast, Khodāvand ‘ozrkhāhī rā qabūl mīkonad.

MAHMOUD
Khodā hekīm ast. Ū hameh chiz rā

mibīnad.
Oliver cuts off Translator

7.

OLIVER
Allah is wise. He sees it all. I

heard this one before.
Yes, he does. And he will see that the kid does not know what to do with 99 virgins. Too…

A YOUNG SOLDIER enters the room, salutes and walks over to Oliver, whispers discreetly in his ear.

OLIVER (CONT’D) Thank you soldier. (turns) Now

we’re heading to new playgrounds. Death row, Mahmoud. One kid, two body counts on our end. Murder.

TRANSLATOR
Hālā be so-ye zaminhā-ye bāzi

jadīdī mīravad. Rū be marg, Mahmūd. Yek bachcheh va do jasad dar entezār-e mā. Qatl.

Oliver hangs in silently. Patient.

MAHMOUD
(in broken English)

Allah is wise. One of our child heroes took two of your well trained men. (looks at Oliver). We have more children and women than you soldiers.

Oliver looks at the translator…

OLIVER
So we do speak languages. Good.

.. breathes to calm himself .. turns to soldier

OLIVER (CONT’D) Thank you soldier, dismissed.

The young soldier salutes, turns…the wrong way around … Mahmoud checks and jumps… Oliver realizes instantly but the table is in his way. Mahmoud grabs the knife from the young soldiers hip and re surfaces with the deadly blade in his hands.

Oliver pushes the young soldier out of the way and signals the guard by the door to not use his weapon.

8.

MAHMOUD (in English)

Allah will show me the way. Allah is wise.

OLIVER
He will show you no exit Mahmoud.

Nothing will happen here. Nothing.
He signals towards the door. Stays behind the table.

OLIVER (CONT’D)
Nobody is armed here but the guard

and you. Not me and not the young stupid walking in here with a knife to his hip.
What do you want to do? Want to debate with Allah?

I tell … stop, don’t move – listen.
Sergeant, do not kill the suspect. Aim at his thighs and ankles. Shoot until he cannot get off the ground. Copy.

GUARD BY THE DOOR Sir, copy that, I will shoot not

kill, sir.

OLIVER
That’s for that. You will not die

through the enemy. My comrades will stay back in the far corner…And they will survive…And you will.

Oliver moves slowly.

OLIVER (CONT’D)
Leaves you with me. Hmm. No dying,

no virgins, no honor. So, what now? Mahmoud reacts to Oliver’s negotiation.

MAHMOUD (agitated back to

mothertongue)
Īn nū-ye afsānehhā-ye parīhā bā Khodā kār nemīkonnand.
Mā majbūr nīstīm be kāfarān gūsh konīm

OLIVER
Ok, back to Farsi. Translator.

9.

From the corner where he stands with young soldier and Guard.

TRANSLATOR These kind of …

OLIVER Louder!

TRANSLATOR
These kind of fairy tales do not

work with Allah. We don’t have to listen to infidels.

Oliver continues to negotiate

OLIVER
Fine, leaves us with just you. And

this interrogation about a cowardly set ambush. And your trial of course. No honor… but death row? Depends. Honor… No. Certainly a No

Mahmoud steps back into his corner, raises the knife …against himself, to cut his own throat.
Oliver knew it, steps on the chair , grabs the cup of water from the table… flies into Mahmouds corner … who is… for a split second … irritated whether to turn the knife against Oliver or himself … looses time … and Oliver gushes the water into his face… and has a second later.. his wrist. Knife gone, Oliver on top of him.

OLIVER (CONT’D)
Guard, take him. And to his cell.

Done. No fight.

The guard rushes into their corner, fixes one hand and from Oliver, getting up, the other one.

OLIVER (CONT’D)
24 hours no contact. Food and water

based on human rights, nothing more, nothing less.

Mahmoud spits on the floor in front of Oliver.

OLIVER (CONT’D)
How does it get any better than

that?
Mahmoud is led away. Through the open door AIDE marches in.

10.

AIDE (formal)

Major Wind, Lieutenant Colonel Brauen requests your presence.

Oliver looks at his buddy, they are comrades and soldiers, he knows every tone between the lines. Doesn’t sound good.

AIDE (CONT’D) … Instantly

Oliver reacts …

EXT. MILITARY CAMP – DAY

… and they – Aide and Oliver – walk together through the German desert camp. Busy outdoor army life.

OLIVER What is it? You know?

AIDE
Nope, nothing. But he looked …

calm?

OLIVER
Calm? That sounds dangerous. About

my latest complaint back home?

AIDE
I have checked mail and IT, not a

word. Not what I have access to.

OLIVER (suddenly agitated)

Really, I have to do that. We have a different mission than protecting drug transports on behalf of the government. And watch our people get killed

AIDE
Or it’s something about your

nightmares. It won’t take long and the team will know. You’re having them now already in open daylight.

OLIVER (uninterrupted)

It’s not our job. Even if our pharmaceutical industry really needs it…I spend my time with the wrong killers.

11.

AIDE
Or maybe, because you could have

pulled the trigger 1,5 secs earlier? You know that.

Oliver blinks.

AIDE (CONT’D)
I’m with you, but now cool it.

Let’s be all army business now.

OLIVER Right.

… they walk into the building marked HQ.

INT. CAMP HQ – OFFICE – DAY
Oliver stays in front of a desk.
Commanding officer, Lieutenant Colonel BRAUEN looks at a map.

LT CL BRAUEN
Sad afternoon, Major Wind. Stay at

ease.

OLIVER
Yes Sir, losses. Triggered by a

misinterpretation…led to casualties. And his own death. If I may …( he is not interrupted) We had 15 minutes left packing the trucks. It was a really well prepared trap. The mistake of…

LT CL BRAUEN
I appreciate your instant report,

Major but have to interrupt you. (break)

Oliver stops, waits for the bad news.

LT CL BRAUEN (CONT’D) You are flying home. You are

released for an undetermined window of time.

Oliver is surprised. Brauen considers how to continue.

OLIVER
Sir. I had to send this. Too many

of my men are dying because of …

12.

LT CL BRAUEN
..and it is not about your petition

either. Please have a seat.
Oliver does, Brauen fills two glasses with water.

LT CL BRAUEN (CONT’D) Please. It is my sad duty to send

you home because … You are flying home to assist your mother as your father has passed away.

He stops to drink, looks at LT CL Brauen. Stone faced. Stare. Nothing.

LT CL BRAUEN (CONT’D) Yesterday. Nothing to soother this away. Death back home is different

than here. Please go see your family, stay in touch, we are here for you.

Oliver gets out his chair.

OLIVER
I appreciate Sir. With your

permission?

Lieutenant Colonel BRAUEN gets up as well. Oliver about to salute but Brauen offers a handshake.

LT CL BRAUEN
With all respect, Major Wind. Be

strong, be back. They shake hands.

LT CL BRAUEN (CONT’D)

Dismissed.

INT. CAMP HQ – TRAVEL MANAGEMENT – DAY

TRANSPORTATION MANAGER LT. Yes and Yes. YES, you have travel

status. And Yes, you have the next available seat

AIDE
Common there must be a better

option than “in 42 hours”. This is a sad thing and he ….

13.

Oliver is not part of this conversation, stays behind in the back

TRANSPORTATION MANAGER LT. No, .. he has already Prio 2 from

Lt.Cl.Brauen. We ….

AIDE
… Prio 2? How about Prio 1 then?

Can’t you put him on prio one??

TRANSPORTATION MANAGER LT. One? That’s a flight code to report

directly to the Chancellor and the ministers.

OLIVER (from the back)

Really? Any other short cut?

TRANSPORTATION MANAGER LT. Yes Major. In two days.

EXT. CAMP – DAY
Oliver strolls with Aide through the desert camp.

OLIVER
I need you to find something to

take me out of here. Not 42 or 40. In six hours the latest. A flying carpet, an elephant, anything.

AIDE Yes, man.

Aide leaves.

INT. TENT/BARRACK – OLIVER – DAY

Oliver sits on his bed, next to an almost empty backpack. He tries to reach his mother on his satellite phone.

No answer. Aide enters.

AIDE
Oli, let’s run. No flights other

than the one fucking cargo leaving in six minutes.

14.

OLIVER (wakes alert)

Six … like in Now?

AIDE
Details on the way, Now-Now.

Oliver grabs his backpack while already on the move.

EXT. AIRFIELD – DAWN
Oliver and Aide run through camp.

AIDE
You have probably no seat or so.

Stuff flying back for repair. Aide hands him a couple of energy bars.

OLIVER
That’s ok, haven’t slept since days

anyway…You make sure when our American friends pick him up, that Mahmoud is alive and still around when I’m back.

AIDE
Oli? We have to hand him over!

OLIVER
That is not an order, I want you to

promise.

AIDE
He will be alive and waiting.

OLIVER
You will talk in person to our US

comrades and tell them, we have a witness. I am the witness, what ever it needs, he does not go Guantanamo.

Oliver grabs him by the shoulders.

OLIVER (CONT’D) ……Promise.

AIDE
And you work on your trauma?

15.

OLIVER
Deal. I will send you my report.

Inform the prosecutor’s office to contact me in Germany. I’ll do the funeral and will be back. Days, may be a week ….

It’s loud. Oliver phone rings.

EXT. AIRFIELD – NEAR CARGO PLANE – DAWN

Aide eyes the blue light flashing through Oliver’s breast pocket, points at it. Oliver grabs his satellite phone and it shows MAMMA.

SPLIT SCREEN OPENS -ZOOM/FACE TIME LIKE BOTH ARE ON-SCREEN

OLIVER Mum? I am on..

FREDDIE
Oliver, are you coming? I need …

The cargo plane engines are tested, it is deafening…

OLIVER
Yes Mum, I am just running to catch

the plane and …

FREDDIE
I need to tell you something

urgent. Can we speak for a few minutes?

From the other side a semi truck speeds into frame. Two soldiers bring a body bag, run towards the open hatch.

OLIVER
Mum, this is the only plane. I need

to go on board ….

FREDDIE
But it’s urgent. Your dad. The

family is going out ….

Aide opens a midsized metal briefcase, Oliver takes his handgun from the hip, unloads the weapon and puts it into the briefcase. Aide closes it.

The cargo officer waves him in….. Oliver runs towards the open hatch of the cargo…

16.

OLIVER
I can’t hear you well. I will try

from the plane. Or will call when landed

…hangs up, turns, waves to Aide

AIDE
(signs and mouth moves)

Call me, weirdo. Aide makes some idiot moves.

Oliver smirks, nods. Aide runs with briefcase towards the front of the cargo plane. Closing hatch interrupts their eye line.

INT. CARGO PLANE – DARK

Oliver sits between damaged jeeps and trucks, weaponry. A large water bottle in his hands, the energy bars next to him. Unable to take his eyes away from the body bag with the small German flag on it. He shakes like a baby – no tears though.

EXT. AIRFIELD GERMANY – NIGHT Rain, wind, fall.

Oliver in his sand uniform disembarks down the open hatch. Soldiers wait. He checks, approaches the officer who supervises the procedure.

OLIVER Sergeant.

AIRFIELD OFFICER (salutes)

Major, sir.

OLIVER
At ease. Do me a favor?. One of my

soldiers returns home in a bag.

AIRFIELD OFFICER
A Comrade? Fuck… We loose so

many.

OLIVER
FiftyOne. We loose as many as other

nations on ISTAF.

17.

AIRFIELD OFFICER
Sorry Major, we are just the only

ones not educated to loose soldiers in war.

An airfield soldier comes from the pilot’s door, holds the midsized metal briefcase. He salutes, unlocks the briefcase.

OLIVER
We learn. Please have the Staff

Sergeant pick some of your sensitive guys when they go to see his parents.

AIRFIELD OFFICER
We will look after him on his way

home.

OLIVER
Appreciated. Is my driving service

around?

Oliver takes his handgun and the magazine out, checks, loads and puts in his holster.

AIRFIELD OFFICER
Yes sir, No sir. We got information

your driver will be about 3 to 4 hours late.

…signs for his weapon, the soldier is dismissed.

Why?

OLIVER

AIRFIELD OFFICER
We have no intel on this, sir.

Two soldiers disembark with the body bag. Oliver stops in his move, turns into attention, salutes.

…. …. …. … The bag is loaded on a truck.

OLIVER
I need to sleep, any bunk free

here.

AIRFIELD OFFICER
Sorry, no sir. This is an airfield

only, no barracks, no nothing other than trucks and gasoline.

18.

OLIVER Next exit?

AIRFIELD OFFICER
The 9Inn, I can get you a lift.

Best option around. Oliver nods, his fatigue visible.

OLIVER
And let my transport know where to

p.u. me.

INT. THE 9 INN – NIGHT Oliver looks at..

CONCIERGE 9INN …not kidding. 360 €uro it is

until six o’clock. We charge by the 30 minutes, you’ll do the math.

OLIVER
I really want to sleep, nothing

else.

CONCIERGE 9INN
Got it, but then room is blocked,

dude.

OLIVER
How does it get any better? Look, I

just return from war, brought back a buddy home. In a bag. A rebate maybe, for just a shower?

CONCIERGE 9INN
Your a real soldier? Not from the

airfield? Ok, here’s my hero rebate.

He turns the sign paper, with a scribbled number on it

OLIVER
Hm, seems I AM a hero.

Grabs the pen and signs.

CONCIERGE 9INN
But maybe one of the girls needs to

take a nap on the other side of your bed, just a nap.

19.

OLIVER
Man, I am so dead, haven’t slept

for more than 40 hours. As long as she doesn’t shoot at me.

CONCIERGE 9INN No extra service. Right?

..and plucks the key card. The Concierge salutes.

INT. ROOM WITH A BED – DARK
Oliver emerges from the in-room-shower, worn out.

A tiny room. He steps over his backpack, his body is marked with tattoos, but the scars on his back, shoulders and thighs tell deeper stories of past hardships.

Exhausted, he grabs his satellite phone, glances at his watch.

2:25AM.

He rests the phone on the nightstand, brushes his face with his hands….slips into slumber before his head touches the linen.

INT. ROOM WITH A BED – DARK

Uneasy in his rest, Oliver bumps into an arm and is up, immediately on alert. He startles, looks, ready to fight… XENIA, a semi-attractive pro with wit, wakes too.

XENIA What?

Sees his hands ready for combat

OLIVER
I said, no services, did I?

XENIA
Right but boss told you, I might

need a rest too.

Yes?

OLIVER

XENIA
Yes. Man, sex worker, sleep, peace.

She looks at the blanket

20.

XENIA (CONT’D)
But maybe you wanna reconsider,

regulate some pressure before going home seeing Mutti.

Wrong button “Mutti” rings the bell, looks at his wrist watch

OLIVER
Shit, it’s eight thirty? Man.

He jumps out of bed, forgetting he is totally naked. Xenia looks at his/him

XENIA
(sarcasm yet motivating)

You sure you don’t want to regulate a bit?

Oliver looks out of the window, no car outside.

OLIVER
What are you doing this mornin’?

I’ll give you 50. Conversation goes sideways.

XENIA
Changed your mind quickly. Sure.

OLIVER
Surely not. Drive me to the next

car rental

XENIA Oh, ok. 70 then.

Oliver stepping naked over his backpack towards bath room, looks at her in her exotic prostitute underwear

OLIVER Need a tee or so?

Xenia kind of likes his humor but mostly looks at his/him

XENIA
Got two… or so. In case you ever

need to regulate pressure, lemme know.

Xenia totally openly smiles at Oliver. He first time realizes he stands in front of her with an erection

OLIVER Can we?

21.

END OF ACT 1

22.

ACT 2: ARRIVAL

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – DAY

Oliver drives into town, still in his sand uniform. He takes in the places he has not seen for quite a while. Sad moments for him.

A public bus honks from behind, he drives on a bus lane. He hasn’t noticed, waves a “sorry”.

The car GPS guides him…

SIRI (O.S.)

In 200 meters take a right. The location will be on your right hand side.

OLIVER I know, thanks.

EXT./INT. HOME STREET – OLIVER

Oliver arrives. He has to give way to a grey minibus transporter that leaves the drive way next to the house.

Oliver passes by.

EXT. IN FRONT OF THE WIND HOME – DAY

Oliver walks up the small driveway. He sees a woman – PETRA – locking the main door.

He approaches her.

OLIVER
Hi there, good morning.

PETRA
Good morning. Are you a relative?

OLIVER Yes. I am his son.

They are on different stages of information.

PETRA
His son? OK then, where is the

husband, your father?

23.

OLIVER
Bad timing for jokes. I am just

arriving for mourning. Is she home?
Oliver moves to walk around Petra to ring the doorbell.

PETRA
I am not into jokes. Fredericke

Wind passed this early morning and if you know how to contact her husband I would appreciate you give me the information.

Oliver stops in his motions.

OLIVER
There must be a misunderstanding. I

believe my father died 49 hours ago. And who are you, actually?

Petra pulls her detective ID and holds it in his direction.

PETRA
Petra Müller, Homicide Cottbus. I

am sorry for your loss but I don’t know of any misunderstandings. And I would like to see your IDs.

There is a brief, difficult moment for Oliver. He could loose his calm within this one ..two ..three secs of dangerous blink in his eyes.

Oliver stays calm, pulls out his ID and hands it over.

PETRA (CONT’D) (checks)

Oliver Wind. Major with the Saxonian hunter brigade. You have any other ID?

OLIVER
If rules haven’t changed since

got on the plane 36 hours ago, officer, soldiers don’t fly in out of war zones carrying ID’s them but this one.

Petra sees that Oliver carries a handgun

I

and on

on his hip.

PETRA
But the registration to carry a

weapon in Germany you do have?

24.

Oliver leans forward and Petra overreacts a bit as if he would attack.
He points to a certain line on his ID…

…and she reads.

Soldier weapons wide.

PETRA (CONT’D)
is authorized to carry in all territories world

OLIVER
Actually it is Major, Military

police, at the Nato Response Force. So please fill me in.

PETRA
I am filling you in shit, you have

no jurisdiction here.
Oliver takes a deep breath. She is right.

OLIVER
Ok. You mind I give you some

answers inside?
Petra looks at him ..2..3.. turns and unlocks the door.

INT. THE WIND HOME – DAY
Oliver looks around, it is very silent. He turns to Petra.

OLIVER
For what I know, we received

message via the family intel
that my father has passed. I
been released from duties to
and to assist my mother with the funeral and all what comes with it. And mourning. This happened Tuesday late afternoon local time Camp Marmal, North of Kundus, Afghanistan. Now it’s Thursday morning and you are saying not my father passed but my mother?

She hits a different tone now as well.

PETRA
Then it’s my sad duty to inform you

that your mother passed this early morning, yes, here at her home.

(MORE)

center have travel

25.

PETRA (CONT’D)
I don’t know about your father. Who

gave you this information?

OLIVER
I assume my mother informed the

FIC, our contact hub for all relatives… And my mother and I spoke on the phone before boarding. What happened to her?

He walks around, Petra follows him, always watches what he does or touches. But he doesn’t touch anything.

PETRA
Police received a call by neighbors

that a window was constantly slamming open and close in the weather. Which seemed unusual for them.

They reach the bedroom of his parents. His brain takes pictures.

PETRA (CONT’D)
A patrol car stopped by, checked and opened the door after nobody

responded. They found your mother on the bed at 2:11 and called us.

Oliver looks at the bed. It begins to dawn he is an orphan as of now.

PETRA (CONT’D)
Your mother died peacefully during

her sleep.
This is not so rare in very long relationships. Sorry.

He leaves the bedroom, strolls to his mothers home office.

OLIVER
(back to this world)

No. Never. The other way round? Maybe. My mother? Trust me, wouldn’t die this way. No. Something is wrong.

Petra is not impressed by his analyzes.

PETRA
I understand your grief. But no

signs of external circumstances. No indication to start investigation.

(MORE)

26.

PETRA (CONT’D)
We looked carefully, the open

window nor the door show any signs of outside intrusion.

He strolls by the desk and sees an open calendar on the desk. Without stopping his brain takes picture despite the writing is upside down.

FLASH OF CALENDAR: THURSDAY 16:00 NOTARY , FRIDAY 13:00 UNDERTAKER L.

PETRA (CONT’D)
It’s tough, sure. You just arrived,

you must be tired. Maybe you should touch base with the other relatives first.

OLIVER
Yes, the other relatives.

(sarcastic) That should be great help.

Oliver is not happy with this suggestion.

PETRA Yes. Shall we?

Oliver looks at Petra.

OLIVER Shall we what?

PETRA Leave?

OLIVER Where?

PETRA
I don’t know. You are not

registered under this address, you have no own keys as I understand. You can’t stay. Officially this is not your home. And I don’t know if you are in charge or somebody else from the family. Siblings or so.

OLIVER
You are kidding me. I m flying

5.000 kilometers to have no access to my parents home? What do you want me to do?

27.

PETRA
I don’t know. To hand you the keys

I need to see something, Mr. Military police Major Wind, correct? Confirmation of registration, power of attorney, last will.

He knows she is – inhumanly – right, he follows her to leave the house.

EXT. IN FRONT OF THE WIND HOME – DAY Oliver passes by Petra. She locks the door.

PETRA
(with a tone of irony)

You actually should thank me. A minute ago you claimed this to be a crime scene.

Petra hands him a business card.

PETRA (CONT’D)
Present anything that proves your

authorization to enter and stay at this house and I will hand you the keys.

Petra leaves Oliver stunned.

OLIVER
Be sure I will. Something is off.

And this will be sorted. Petra doesn’t turn.

END OF ACT 2

28.

ACT 3: DOORS WIDE SHUT

EXT. IN FRONT OF THE WIND HOME – DAY

Oliver sits in his sand uniform, alone on the doorsteps, helpless for the moment, contemplating.

Phone rings.
Oliver pulls the satellite phone, answers it.

OLIVER

Wind.
SPLIT SCREEN OPENS -ZOOM/FACE TIME LIKE BOTH ARE ON-SCREEN

BRIGADIER GENERAL
Major Wind. I am just popping in to

see how you are holding up.

OLIVER
Brigadier General. Thank you for

calling.

BRIGADIER GENERAL Are you in a private situation?

OLIVER Yes, sir. I am alone.

BRIGADIER GENERAL Skip the sirring. Oliver please

accept my dearest condolences. I wish for lot of strength for the up coming time. And please say high to your mum and give her my best, will you?

OLIVER
Thank you Paul, but it’s worse than

that…. My mother passed away too, few hours ago while I was still in the air.

…..Paul says nothing for a couple of seconds.

BRIGADIER GENERAL
You know I, no…. words won’t do.

You know …shit. Rest if possible. Oliver I have your back when you need me, right?

29.

OLIVER
I appreciate, that is good to know.

Thank you.

BRIGADIER GENERAL
Is there anything you need right

now?
Oliver gets up, walks off the estate, towards

OLIVER
I think it was not as peaceful for

my mom as the local police perceives it. But I need to clear my head first.

BRIGADIER GENERAL
You are in a civilian, non military

setting. Take it slow, Oliver.

OLIVER Certainly I will.

BRIGADIER GENERAL Sounds like your famous: I will

certainly not. Oliver, family stuff is different.

OLIVER Certainly in this family.

BRIGADIER GENERAL
Will you listen to me, Major Wind?

OLIVER
Aye sir, General brigadier, I will.

But there is a truth that needs to be uncovered, I can smell it, Paul.

BRIGADIER GENERAL You will let me know, promise?

OLIVER Yes, Sir.

BRIGADIER GENERAL
And get yourself a cell phone, no

need to call via satellite while your home.

the car.

Oliver hangs up, packs satellite phone into jacket.

Home?

OLIVER

30.

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – DAY

Oliver looks on a screen of a smart phone. An arrow shows how to walk. Oliver looks up, unfamiliar with the buildings of his former home town.

INT. RESIDENTS’ REGISTRATION OFFICE – DAY SUPER: A NUMBER BLINKS

Oliver walks to a long row desk with four boothes, shows the number and his military ID.

OLIVER
Hello. Madam, I hope you can help

me. I just flew in and as an active soldier I carry this as only identification. I need registration at my parents house, what do I need to fill?

LADY AT REGISTRATION Sure. Where are you registered

currently.

OLIVER
At the address of my regiment. FJR

One, 13405 Berlin.

LADY AT REGISTRATION Have you been registered here in

Cottbus as well?

OLIVER
Yes, but that was eighteen years

ago. Before I joined the army. Not since.

LADY AT REGISTRATION Then we have a problem.

OLIVER
Because I am with the army?

LADY AT REGISTRATION No…. But …

She turns towards her screen and types stuff. He looks at her name tag on her desk, it shows Mrs. Wind.

LADY AT REGISTRATION (CONT’D) …Yes. We are digitizing all paper

files and documents. (MORE)

31.

LADY AT REGISTRATION (CONT’D) And progressed so far only into

year 2009. I can’t find you.

OLIVER
But then you have me on paper

files?

LADY AT REGISTRATION No, unfortunately. They have been

outsourced for digitization.

OLIVER
What else is possible? I see we

have the same name. Did you know Friedericke and Harry Wind?

LADY AT REGISTRATION Freddie? Sure we are from the same

tribe. Her father is my mums cousin. Say hi to them. But then the solution is simple. (lowers voice). Have one of them join you and see me, sign for you and I’ll register you, right then and there. (she whispers even more) We don’t need to make a big fuzz then, do we?

OLIVER
That actually is the problem. My

parents passed away the last two days. Nobody to show up here.

The Lady with the name Wind looks at him in painful surprise.

LADY AT REGISTRATION OMG, I am so sorry. Please accept

my condolences for this hard situation in life.
…. But then I am afraid I have no solution to offer.

Oliver looks stunned.

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – DAY

Oliver on the steps of the local registration office. He pulls out his new smartphone and types a number from the top of his head.

OLIVER
Major Wind, FJR One, 356561. Staff

office 1 please. … I am holding.

32.

Listens.

Listens.

OLIVER (CONT’D)
Yes, hi. Major Wind, FJR One, ID

356561.
I do need your assistance please. I have been released of duties for a short period of time. I am in Germany and need you to check my files, if there is a copy of certificate of birth? Or my last address before joining the army? Please check for anything to document where I lived before 2002.

OLIVER (CONT’D)
Yes, I understand. Check with the

commanding officer of staff office. And when in doubt, he should double check with Brigadier General Paul Flut in Hannover HQ of MP.

Walking the street, Oliver recognizes a man – on the open air terrace of a restaurant next to the town hall. Double checks – not sure. The man sits opposite an attractive young woman (32ish) in business apparel.

OLIVER (CONT’D)
I appreaciate your assistance,

please make it urgent. Do you see the number on your screen. Yes. Thank you Master Sergeant Baum. …Ah, and please inform Staff One, my transportation yesterday night never appeared.

No, never did.

Oliver by an ugly monument on the square, pulls his satellite phone, finds and types a number into the smart phone. Dials.

He sees in the distance the man – UNCLE HANS – grabs the phone and picks up.

SPLIT SCREEN OPENS -ZOOM/FACE TIME LIKE BOTH ARE ON-SCREEN

UNCLE HANS

Wind?
Yes, me too. Oliver Wind.

OLIVER

33.

UNCLE HANS
Oliver. I am so sorry about your

father. What a terrible accident. Where are you? Still in Afghanistan?

Oliver packs the satellite phone away. He gets up and starts to walk towards the terrace of the restaurant where his uncle, HANS WIND, sits.

OLIVER
No, I just arrived in Cottbus. I

thought I call you, his brother first and we can talk …

UNCLE HANS
Yes. Absolutely. The right thing to

do. ..It’s just.. He closes in on Uncle Hans

UNCLE HANS (CONT’D) …I am not in town today. .. I am

on a business trip and will be back tomorrow.

… looks at the man speaking clearly into the phone while he looks at the young lady. Oliver stops

UNCLE HANS (CONT’D) You must be tired. Why don’t you

take a rest. And be with your mother, I m sure she will need you in these tough hours…

Oliver realizes he obvious doesn’t know the actual situation.

UNCLE HANS (CONT’D) …and you come by tomorrow. Then

we will talk things through. Funeral and so.

OLIVER
Ok, thank you. I will.

Oliver decides and strolls slowly by the terrace to see if Uncle Hans traps himself in his lies. But Uncle Hans doesn’t look at the people passing by. He addresses the young woman – CLARICE- .

UNCLE HANS (O.S.)

He is already in town.

34.

CLARICE
Then we have not much time left.

He can hear their conversation

CLARICE (CONT’D)
I will discuss with my father next

steps.

UNCLE HANS
Do that. Family Urgencies. We need

to swing into action

Oliver walks out of eavesdropping distance. Question marks on his face.

INT. REGISTRY OFFICE – DAY Oliver meets with the registrar.

OLIVER
Thank you for seeing me on such

short notice. My parents passed away within the last couple of hours. I have no access to their home and I need a copy of my birth certificate. What do I have to do?

REGISTRAR
Please accept my condolences for

your loss. Have you and your parents lived here in Cottbus?

OLIVER
Yes. I am born in Cottbus to

Fredericke and Harry Wind.

REGISTRAR
No way. I am so sorry. Then you are

Oliver. I am so so sorry. What happened?

OLIVER
My father had an accident two days

ago and my mother was found …, this morning in her bedroom. Without papers it seems tough as long as it’s not documented that I am the only child alive.

35.

REGISTRAR
You are. I remember when you left

twenty years ago, or so. Wasn’t there a story to it?

Oliver doesn’t blink.

REGISTRAR (CONT’D) Yes, and your older brother has

been declared dead and missing, 10 or eleven years ago.
What papers have you got?

He sighs, he has explained this a couple of times already.

OLIVER
It seems to be a not widespread

information: Soldiers who go to war carry only their military ID.

REGISTRAR
Hm. I have a solution for you. You

come back with Harry’s brother or your grandmother Lehner and one testifies you are you and I will expedite a Birth certificate for you.

OLIVER
Is that the simplest way?

REGISTRAR
Yes, and I am already bending the

rules there.

OLIVER
And it will take how long?

REGISTRAR
A couple of days. Two weeks tops.

Oliver looks stunned.

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – DAY
Oliver takes the ringing smart phone out of his pocket.

CORONER’S CLERK Mr. Wind? Mr. Oliver Wind.

OLIVER Speaking.

36.

CORONER’S CLERK
This is regarding your call this morning. You left messages about

your mother’s body and her whereabouts.

OLIVER
Yes. Have you spoken with your

boss?

CORONER’S CLERK
Yes. And he asked me to give you

the following information and message.
Do not call again unless you have some kind of authorization or power of attorney.

OLIVER
Listen. I did explain …

The call is abruptly ended
Frustrated, Oliver takes a deep breath, shakes his head.

OLIVER (CONT’D)
Home town, as friendly as it gets.

NT. BANK – DAY

Oliver sits opposite a BANK CLERK, whose name tag again bears the name Wind. Is here anybody not a Wind?

BANK CLERK WIND
I am sorry to sound repetitive yet

as said, the policy of the bank is individually and set a bit differently.
The power of attorney needs not only be signed by the both of you. It has to be notarized as well.

OLIVER
What will happen if I can’t present

it?

BANK CLERK WIND
We will need to wait for the Death

certificate and the confirmation who the validated administrator of estate is. He, she or them will be authorized to request the bank to act.

37.

OLIVER
And until then? What about standing

orders, direct debits? Other responsibilities of my parents.

BANK CLERK WIND
I am not entitled to speak about

this in detail but rest assured, I will be taking care that things continue smoothly.

OLIVER
But you are family too, correct?

Shouldn’t that be overlooked by somebody else?

BANK CLERK WIND (gets up)

Mr.Wind, Please, again accept my deepest condolences for your losses but there is actually nothing more to discuss. Don’t misunderstand me yet things are regulated and my hands are tied.

EXT. COTTBUS STREET – NEAR TOPPER CAR COMPOUND – DAY Oliver walks and grabs the ringing phone

OLIVER Major Wind

SOLDIER STAFF OFFICE 1 Staff Office One, Master Sergeant

Baum, sir. We spoke earlier.

OLIVER
Yes, Master Sergeant. You have

intel for me?

SOLDIER STAFF OFFICE 1 Yes, sir. There is no home

registration nor other documents. There is your signed application to join the army; co signed by your mother and your high school diploma.

OLIVER Nothing else?

38.

SOLDIER STAFF OFFICE 1 No, sir. There are all your

diplomas and course certificates within the army, of course and your promotions and order of merits. But nothing from the outside world. Sir.

OLIVER (speak-thinks)

Is there an address printed on my mothers confirmation letter? An address in Cottbus or Goyatz?

Oliver’s attention is caught by a large car dealer compound with big marketing adds “Toll, Top, Topper.” He looks at it with disdain…

SOLDIER STAFF OFFICE 1 Let me check sir. … It’s on

letterhead of a Wind shipyard in Goyatz. Sir.

…particularly at a man – JÜRGEN TOPPER – who is involved with customers.

OLIVER
On the diploma, is there an address

of the high school?

SOLDIER STAFF OFFICE 1 There is an address, in Cottbus,

sir.
He watches the man, with a sense of disgust.

OLIVER
Send scans to my army mail address.

And prepare them as hardcopies, I will call and give you an address for landmail too. Copy.

SOLDIER STAFF OFFICE 1 Will send scans via email now and

prepare landmail, sir. You will provide an address tomorrow, sir.

OLIVER
Copy that. And have them confirmed

or stamped by an authorized officer. Thank you

Yes, sir.

SOLDIER STAFF OFFICE 1

39.

He hangs up. Disheartened, he gives Jürgen and the car dealer compound a dirty look.

OLIVER
Will not work in this shit hole.

He contemplates his next steps

OLIVER (CONT’D) But worth a try

…and turns away.

EXT. IN FRONT OF SHIPYARD WIND – DAY

Oliver gets out of the car and rings a bell at the closed gate. A large shipyard, boats out of water, on trailers, in repair, a large ship building hall. A lot new to Oliver.

A Man looks around the corner of the big shipyard hall, far away from the fence. He shouts.

SIGGI
We are closed. Family reasons.

Please call Saturday.

OLIVER (shouts back)

Siggi! It’s me. Oliver

Siggi does not react, disappears around the corner, off… Oliver is not in his toolbox.

…

OLIVER (CONT’D) Oliver Wind. C’mon Siggi.

SIGGI (Polish accent)

Jessus Maria, Oliver. Baby Oliver? I am coming.

Siggi returns.

The gate begins to open automatically. Siggi shows up running.

He hugs Oliver instantly, tears running down his face.

40.

SIGGI (CONT’D)
Oh my God, Oliver I am so sorry.

Your dad, he was always such a nice fellow. And my boss. And …

OLIVER
Siggi. Yes, he was a good boss. And

a strong boss.

Oliver creates a bit of a distance between the two guys. Siggi looks at him.

SIGGI
For how long haven’t I seen you,

decades, no?

OLIVER Eighteen years.

He looks around

OLIVER (CONT’D)
.. and many things have happened

since, I can tell.

SIGGI
We are quite big yes. Not only

repairing, we are mainly in house boats now.

OLIVER
My father hated house boats. Shit

houses for tourists he called them.

SIGGI
I know, but house boats sell well.

And for good money. We deliver them to Potsdam or even Berlin. Customers paying up to half million.

OLIVER (surprised)

Really?

SIGGI
Yep. Your father focused on the

boats and yachts. And me on the houseboats. I brought more workers from Poland. Good business. I was surprised he decided to sell.

OLIVER
The shipyard is sold?

41.

SIGGI
I don’t know. Your mum said no, he

said yes. They discussed for weeks. I don’t know. This went on and on.

OLIVER (interrogator now)

Ok Siggi. Can you tell me the whole story? What happened to my dad?

Siggi presses his remote, the gate starts to close

SIGGI
Common, I show you. There is not

much of a story.
Together they walk towards buildings at the lakeside

EXT. SHIPYARD – YACHT & SAILING CLUB – DAY

Oliver and Siggi appear between typical white buildings of a private sailing club.

Siggi leads Oliver towards the jetties

SIGGI
….He asked me if and how I would

continue with the house boats in case he would retire. I told him I couldn’t buy a share of the company but he was fine with it; it would just have new owners.

OLIVER
He said who? Did they show up?

SIGGI
I never met them. Nor did he said

who.

OLIVER And my mum?

SIGGI
First she was ok, then she was

against it. Last thing was, she requested to divide the shipyard in their will, he would do what he wants, she would keep her part. …For you.

OLIVER
Me? The shipyard. No way.

42.

They walk the jetty, two thirds out Siggi shows Oliver around.

SIGGI
This is where the accident

happened, police says.

OLIVER What happened here?

SIGGI
He was…. They say probably…Do

you need to hear this, really?

OLIVER …. Yes.

SIGGI (swallows)

He fell from a ladder,.. broke both legs before he slipped into the lake. Unfortunately the ladder fell on top of him, hit him on the head, made him dizzy. Trying to stay afloat, he must have tangled with the ladder…. And drowned only a meter away from the jetty.

OLIVER Nobody around?

SIGGI
The club is closed on Tuesday’s. At

the shipyard Mondays and Tuesdays are our days off. He was alone, why, Jesus knows.

Oliver looks around, his brain takes picture. The jetty, the boats. A few lamppost with lights and a garland with colored light bulbs. While he looks around, Siggi recognizes a boat coming in.

CLARICE
Hey, can you assist please?

A midsized nice motorboat, driven single handed by Clarice.

She manages to steer the boat slowly alongside to the jetty and wrap the stern rope around one of the posts…

Siggi assist with the bow rope…
CLARICE jumps on the jetty, identifies herself.

43.

CLARICE (CONT’D)
Hey there, thank you for the hand,

appreciated. Are you Siggi?

SIGGI Yes, Madam….

CLARICE
Siggi, my father and I we would

like to express our gratitude and say sorry that Wind shipyard has lost such a great …

SIGGI
Maybe better tell the son?

Clarice switches tone and style – a real hydra

CLARICE
O? … uh, I am sorry.. you are

Harry’s son? …I am so sorry, I didn’t know

Oliver remembers her well, and what she said a few hours ago to Uncle Hans.

CLARICE (CONT’D) You are Oliver, Oli?, Right?

Clarice walks towards Oliver, offers her hand for a handshake, then decides to hug Oliver.

CLARICE (CONT’D)
I am soo sorry. I wish you all the

strength you will need.

Clarices unhugs herself from almost no reaction, and offers her hand again.

CLARICE (CONT’D) I am Clarice, your cousin

Clarice… Wind-Feuer. He accepts the handshake

OLIVER
Oh, cousin Clarice? Must have been

a while we met.

CLARICE
Ah, not more than 15-16 years.

Maybe.

44.

OLIVER
Maybe 18. But my mum told me here

and there over the phone how pretty you become.

CLARICE
Aunt Freddie? Yes, she had so much

fun pulling my leg. Please say high to her…or better why don’t you both come over. My dad will certainly be glad to …

OLIVER Thank you. But …

CLARICE
No, I insist. I am sure my mother

wants me to insist, her sister to be treated well.

OLIVER
Aunt Freddie … (bites and clears

his throat) .. my mother died this morning.

Clarice stops in her motions, prepared to speak, stares at Oliver.

SIGGI (hands over mouth)

Jessus Maria. That ain’t true. Jessus. What are you saying, Oliver?

Clarice looks at Siggi, back at Oliver

CLARICE
(tears dwell but don’t)

My Aunt died? What? When? How? This morning. What happened?

OLIVER
(no tears, coarse voice)

She was found in her bed, early morning by police. Neighbors called because of a clashing window in the wind.

SIGGI (deep emotional)

Only one day after?

45.

CLARICE
Does my mum know? …. Guess not.

Must call her. I don’t want her to hear it from Swiss police.

She jumps back on her boat, revs the engine. Siggi helps with the bow rope. She uses engine and steern rope to turn around.

Oliver watches her depart and fumble with her earpods. Siggi wraps his arms around him.

SIGGI
Only one day and she follows him? I

am so sorry Oli.

Frozen in time and emotion, Oliver – no tears – has no idea what to think, who to believe, what actually to do.

He kind of wakes up, checks his watch and realizes the time.

OLIVER
I need to go back to town, my

mother made an appointment for this afternoon.

They walk back on the jetty

SIGGI
You should return the rental in

town. I’ll bring you dads car tomorrow. No need to pay for a car.

OLIVER Thank you Siggi.

SIGGI What ever you need.

Oliver turns and checks the jetty again with a thoughtful look.

EXT. HOUSE OF NOTARY NEBEL – DAY
A street with nice houses and trees alongside the driveways.

INT. OFFICE – NOTARY WAITING ROOM – DAY

Oliver enters the room, still in his dune jacket, approaches the secretary who looks at her wrist watch.

46.

SECRETARY NOTARY It’s after four, we don’t take

appointments this time of the day.

OLIVER
Yes. Excuse me. I am here on behalf

of my mother, Friedericke Wind.

SECRETARY NOTARY
You cannot be her “on her behalf”.

She has requested a personal appointment with Dr. Nebel. And ..

OLIVER
..and it will stay personal. Please

tell Dr. Nebel, her son is asking to see him. Please.

SECRETARY NOTARY
I don’t think he has time, he is in

an appointment. He looks at his watch.

OLIVER
Yes, with my mother. Since six

minutes. Tell him I am sorry for being late and that I will be patiently waiting in his waiting room.

The secretary is surprised by this attitude, walks back to her desk.

She leans forward, looks into the semi-connected waiting room.

This soldier in his sand dune combat gear has leaned back, closed his eyes and doing nothing.

She peeks again. Unchanged. She gets up and walks into the notary’s study.

NOTARY NEBEL
What is it you are asking for? Your

mother is not in my office.

Oliver opens his eyes and gets up. He has spoken with so many people within the last hours. He’s had it, no intro this time.

TIME CUT:

47.

OLIVER
My mother died. Last night, this

early morning.

And looks for the reaction. The notary’s body language speaks, the notary does not.

Notary Nebel looks Oliver in the eyes.

NOTARY NEBEL In my office, please.

He turns and walks.

NOTARY NEBEL (CONT’D) Mrs. Singer, and a clients warrant

for Mr.Oliver Wind. Oliver follows the notary. Turns..

OLIVER And no condolences?

..closes door.

INT. OFFICE – NOTARY STUDY – DAY Oliver closes the second door.

NOTARY NEBEL This city is so fucked up.

Oliver surprised

OLIVER
No condolences either.

NOTARY NEBEL
I told her yesterday, to leave town

for a couple of days. But she wouldn’t listen.

It’s getting weird, Oliver takes a deep breath. Knock on the door.

Yes

NOTARY NEBEL (CONT’D)

Secretary comes in, puts a two pager in front of Nebel and leaves.

Oliver is about to speak, the notary lift his hand with his fist clenched.

48.

Second door closes.

NOTARY NEBEL (CONT’D) You must have many questions, I am

sure. Therefore I suggest you let me tell you what I am allowed to tell you. And after that we’ll see which questions I may answer. Does that sound?

OLIVER
Might be a good short cut.

He sits opposite the notary.

Fade

NOTARY NEBEL
Well then. Let me start with a

short cut too.
Do you know the expression platonic lover, Oliver?

OLIVER Go on.

NOTARY NEBEL
I was at your mum’s house yesterday

evening until eleven or so. After what happened the day before …..

INT. OFFICE – NOTARY – DAY

The door opens from the study, notary Nebel walks out with Oliver.

NOTARY NEBEL
Please stay in contact with me or

..(turns to his secretary, stresses it).. with my office.

He turns again

NOTARY NEBEL (CONT’D) Mrs. Singer, hand me the envelope

we signed yesterday with Mrs. Wind please.

Secretary Singer opens a cabinet and selects from files.

49.

NOTARY NEBEL (CONT’D) … there are details that I am not

entitled to speak about before the will is opened to the family.
But I strongly suggest you to stay until then. We will send out the invitations first thing in the morning.

She returns with an envelope, hands it, Nebel opens it and puts it on the table.

NOTARY NEBEL (CONT’D) Please sign here…. And here.

OLIVER What is this?

NOTARY NEBEL
Once you have signed, it will be a

fully notarized Power of attorney, signed by your mother yesterday afternoon.

This time Oliver is really stunned.

EXT. OFFICE – NOTARY – DAY

Notary Nebel lets Oliver out. Oliver still in combat and piece of paper in his hand.

NOTARY NEBEL Stay and dig. Some of your

questions will be sorted before the funerals.

END OF ACT 3

50.

ACT 4: BRAWL & SEX

EXT. LAKE DISTRICT – HIGHWAY – DAY DRONE:

Oliver’s rented car journeys through the nice landscape of the Lake Spreewald District.

SOUND ONLY: CAR DOOR IS SHUT, STEPS WALKING AWAY

INT. GOYATZ POLICE STATION – DAY

Oliver approaches the high bar with a police officer behind it.

OLIVER
Hello. My name is Oliver Wind, son

of Harry Wind…
Oliver takes out his military ID and puts it next to the PoA.

OLIVER (CONT’D)
…who had a lethal accident three

days ago in the Yacht Club.

POLICE OFFICER 1 (looks Oliver up and down)

And you are here for a war or so? Is this a loaded weapon, sir?

The police officer has his hand to his own weapon. Oliver had these looks all day long, inhales to stay calm, points at a line on his ID

OLIVER
And I am entitled to carry it. I

flew in this morning. From Afghanistan.

POLICE OFFICER 1 From …Afghanistan War?

OLIVER
Yes, Camp Marmal, Kundus, in case

this sounds familiar. And I would like to talk to the officer in charge about my father’s accident.

The Officer looks at the military ID

51.

POLICE OFFICER 1
We don’t see these here often…

actually it’s the first time ever. Don’t you have some different document? Like personal ID?

OLIVER
We don’t carry other IDs in war

zones as a matter of fact. Officer looks into PoA.

POLICE OFFICER 1 Hmh….Hmh. This power of attorney

is for your mothers business not your fathers. I doubt it is valid for this case.

OLIVER (inhales again)

My mother passed this morning. You can check with Cottbus homicide. Would actually be good, cause they don’t know about my fathers accident either.

As my mother was the only widow of my father, results in: I am in charge now, right?

That is too much of information at the same time. The police officer walks away.

POLICE OFFICER 1 Please wait.

POLICE OFFICER 2 That sounds unusual

OLIVER
Sir, is that a question?

TIME CUT:

Yes.

POLICE OFFICER 2

OLIVER
Which part? Sounds or unusual?

POLICE OFFICER 2
Sir, can we please stay civilized

and polite.

52.

OLIVER
Look. I heard all day I need a

proof of authorization. Here it is. A Power of attorney. Please, I request … politely .. to know if this authorizes me to hear details about my fathers accident. Do I?

POLICE OFFICER 2
We don’t know you. But probably

yes.
Have you been here 18 years ago?

No You? No

OLIVER POLICE OLIVER POLICE

OFFICER 2

OFFICER 1

OLIVER
See. I have ….almost every day.

With my parents. Do I question you? It has no meaning. What do you know about the accident?

POLICE OFFICER 2
It was an accident. I don’t want

sound rude but the club was closed, your father slipped, fell, entangled with the ladder, drowned.

OLIVER
That is what’s on file?

Indeed

POLICE OFFICER 2

OLIVER
Would you please write down for me

who and where I can find the prosecutor in charge. And the morgue where my father is.

POLICE OFFICER 2 Prosecutor? Why?

OLIVER
Because I will file for an autopsy.

53.

POLICE OFFICER 2
Ok. But there was nothing, just an

accident.
He pulls his military ID out again,

OLIVER
I understand your point of view.

and it’s nothing personal, officers…

shows the officer a detail.

OLIVER (CONT’D)
..see this? I am police too. We are

kind of colleagues, and I have a different point of view.

Officer 1 hands him a piece of paper.

POLICE OFFICER 2
We are not colleagues. From what I

know, MP manages traffic and checks that soldiers go to bed without being too drunk or too loud.

OLIVER
Thank you (turns) Like you manage

traffic and check pubs closing on time, right?

Oliver leaves.

OLIVER (CONT’D) Only that you do not feal one hundred percent with educated

killers,correct? On behalf of your fatherland.
Sirs, can we please stay civilized and polite. And respectful? …Make sure to give the morgue a correct notice in writing.

EXT./ INT. CAR/ LAKE DISTRICT -View at SHIPYARD – SUNSET / BLUE HOUR

Oliver drives by the lake. He stops the car.

On the opposite lakeside is the yacht club and the shipyard in the dusk. He just stares. No tears. Suddenly he opens the door and vomits.

Oliver gets out of the car and starts wildly kicking and fighting trees.

54.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

Oliver punches in a number into his smart phone, starts driving. Fumbles with earpiece.

SPLIT SCREEN OPENS -ZOOM/FACE TIME LIKE BOTH

PETRA
Homicide Cottbus, Miller speaking.

OLIVER
Oliver Wind here. Where can we

meet?

PETRA
You found authorization?

OLIVER
Yes, Power of attorney, notarized.

I would like you hand me the keys to the family’s house.

PETRA
So it’s not a crime scene anymore?

Glad to hear that.

OLIVER
It’s a crime scene more than ever,

and I am happy to fill you in.

ARE ON-SCREEN

PETRA
We can meet tomorrow. I am out to a

different crime scene, a real one. Tomorrow ten in the police Headquarter, homicide, 2nd floor.

OLIVER
No, I would like to …

PETRA
Other than you, I am working, not

hallucinating. Tomorrow, ten. Hangs up on him.

EXT. CAR RENTAL COTTBUS – NIGHT

Oliver throws the car keys into the night-box, picks up his backpack.

He walks tired and angry, ponders his options. He triggers his earpiece.

55.

OLIVER (into headset)

Hey, show me simple hotels nearby

He pulls the phone and looks on the map. He turns into a side street. Walks.

…and sees a nightlife pub BACK SALON.

OLIVER (CONT’D) BACK SALON, really.

INT. BACK SALON – NIGHT
Oliver among a few guests, calm.

He sits at a table across the bar. A glass of beer on the table.

Marie 26ish, attractive, tattooed on one shoulder and arm, checks, walks over from the bar, Oliver’s glass is almost empty.

MARIE Another one, soldier?

OLIVER
Yes, bar tender, in uniform the two

beer rule is on.
New guests arrive, walk past Marie and greet.

MARIE
Two beer rule? Certainly not known

to many around here. Funny though.

TOUGH GUY 1
Whats up? Half empty tonight.

MARIE
It’s football night. And we have no

streamer.

TOUGH GUY 1 Four tanks on my neck.

MARIE
Coming. (turns to Oliver) See?

The four guys begin to play darts, having fun.
In one corner three guys are in an excited debate.

56.

In one booth a guy is heavily working to impress his target girl for the night.

Oliver takes it all in, he shakes his head from time to time, obviously thinking about stuff.

The dart guys squeak. A dart arrow glides over the floor, stops near to Oliver’s foot.

TOUGH GUY 1
Sorry man, Sergeant. It bumped

backwards

OLIVER
No problem, things happen.

Tough guy walks back, they play.

Oliver realizes how one guy throws towards the dart board and another one throws his dart unnoticeable backwards.

Tough Guy 2 picks it up in front of Oliver.

TOUGH GUY 2 Sorry, again it bumped.

OLIVER
Yes sometimes a dartboard seem the

be full of metal.

TOUGH GUY 2
You wanna play with us man? It’s

one beer per round only.

OLIVER
That’s kind. But no, was a long

day.

TOUGH GUY 2
Got it, must be back at the

barracks

OLIVER Yes, no. Kinda

TOUGH GUY 2
Yes, no, kind of. You don’t want to

talk to me, right?

OLIVER I’m just tired.

57.

TOUGH GUY 2
Hey guys, he is tired talking to

me. While I am paying for his uniform and his pay check.

TOUGH GUY 1
Really, that’s arrogant, isn’t it.

The other three walk back to Oliver.

TOUGH GUY 2
Look, we pay taxes, you are sitting

in your barrack, playing with war toys and rocking your balls.

Oliver gets up

OLIVER
I believe you talking to the wrong

man. I left a war zone yesterday afternoon far away from here. I believe it’s ok to be just tired

TOUGH GUY 2
You left a war zone? Uhhh now I am

afraid of you. What are you doing in a war zone?

Oliver steps aside to find a space to walk towards the bar.

OLIVER
My team and I watch and protect

other soldiers serving in Afghanistan.

TOUGH GUY 1
Protecting other soldiers. Sounds

like a luxury job.

OLIVER
Would you mind? Please.

He waves for Marie

OLIVER (CONT’D) I’ll check out my tab.

Marie comes closer

TOUGH GUY 2
You are turning your back on me?

That’ll cost you. (MORE)

58.

TOUGH GUY 2 (CONT’D) Marie put another 8 beer on his

tab, the soldier wants to say he is sorry for being disrespectful.

He doesn’t turn.

OLIVER
No, the Major doesn’t invite these

gentlemen. …now turns.

OLIVER (CONT’D)
In respect of respect. Have one of

you served in the army? Is anyone a reservist?

TOUGH GUY 2
No. We don’t accept your fucked up

country. We have our own Reich. And our own army.

…it dawns who he is talking to.

OLIVER
Your own Reich, own army, got it.

So who is the highest rank here? Looks at Tough Guy 2. He doesn’t answer.

TOUGH GUY 3 I am, soldier.

OLIVER
Ok, what are your men calling you?

TOUGH GUY 3 Sergeant Major.

Oliver becomes aware, he can’t smooth talk his way out of this situation.

OLIVER
Right. Sergeant Major. I request

you make your men listen to you.
I am Major of the military police, 2. Grenadier hunter Battalion, actually in charge as NATO Response Force. I don’t care if you have ever heard of it.
They call us the bad boys watching over good guys. We are even taking the trash out when needed.

(MORE)

59.

OLIVER (CONT’D)
Now tell your men to step back, let

me pay, end this useless provocative conversation and then we walk in two different directions. Like nothing happened. Copy?

Tough Guy 3 looks embarrassed but amused

TOUGH GUY 3
Is there a plan B to your

suggestion?

And actually… Oliver doesn’t even make the effort to get out smoothly any more.

OLIVER
Marie? Marie was it, right?

Yep

MARIE

OLIVER
Would you mind to keep my backpack

behind the bar? I am traveling light. And I don’t want my toothbrush broken.

TOUGH GUY 2
You might not need a toothbrush for

a while.
He does not even react to this.

OLIVER (to tough Guy 3)

You want Plan B described in detail or is a brief description enough?

TOUGH GUY 3 Brief is enough

OLIVER
All four of you will be fucked up,

and no one of you will make it alone to the hospital.
Now let’s get outside or I will charge you afterwards for everything that will be broken in here.

The guys look at each other. Yes, hurray! This will be fun.

60.

Oliver hands his backpack over and in the last moment rips one of the zippers open and pulls out a Tonfa.

Turns. With his back to the bar he faces all four guys.

OLIVER (CONT’D)
Now would be the best time to end

this.

TOUGH GUY 3
Yes Major, Mister special police

forces shit. But we’ll end it our way. Guys.

(Rough choreography). Two gyus attack Oliver, he responds by hitting one against the throat, backing the other guys arm, kick against his ankle. He turns and twists, away from the bar, breaks the third guys arm and facing Tough Guy 3

OLIVER
Again, you are still up and could

drive them to the hospital.

Tough Guy 3 grabs a bottle from the bar and breaks it. One other gets up and attacks again. Oliver throws TG 3 over, unrests his arm and falls with the bottle into TG2. Done. Up again there its one left who is like a ragging bull. Oliver stops him with the Tonfa, not hitting yet.

Mistake, one guy gets up, attacks from behind and strikes his arm with a blade.

TOUGH GUY 3
So, Mr. war zone, how about respect

now, German soldier pussy?

Oliver has enough, briefly looks at his arm. He unwinds 4-5 fast kick, hits and moves. Done.

OLIVER
Didn’t I tell, we even take the

trash out from time to time?

He kneels down on him, his eyes burn. He could easily take the whole day out on this guy, he is close to kill.
Oliver breathes…. 2…3 then empties the pockets of TG3 and TG2, no other weapons. He grabs a couple of bills, all hundreds out of their pockets, hands them to Marie

OLIVER (CONT’D)
For the broken stuff. I’ll keep

one, my sand jacket needs to see a seamstress.

(MORE)

61.

OLIVER (CONT’D)
And you guys out. Or do you want

another round on my dance card? Marie looks over the bar.

The other guests leave as low-key as possible

MARIE
Not you, you may stay.

LOVERBOY
Thank you. But no thank you.

He drags his girl outside. The Tough Guys leave, everybody else too.

Marie passes Oliver, heading for the door

MARIE
And I complain we have no streamer

tv?
We have live action.

END OF ACT 4

62.

ACT 5 RESTLESS NIGHT

INT. BACK SALON – NIGHT

Marie locks the door and returns. Oliver packs the Tonfa back into his back pack.

63.

MARIE
You are one of the bad boys. Fuck

OLIVER
And we do watch over the good guys.

Is there a small hotel nearby you would recommend?

MARIE
Yes. But let me look at your arm

first.

Marie sits behind Oliver and putting some meds on his wound. Oliver’s sand tee is ripped open at the arm, covered with blood. He is not a muscle guy but very ripped and trained sleek with scars and tattoos.

OLIVER
…. I arrived last night in

Germany, this morning in this town. (grins his teeth) Mhhh.

Marie continues to bandage his upper arm.

MARIE Hurts a lot?

OLIVER
Hurts. A lot is different.

Marie locks eyes with Oliver.

MARIE Go on, bad boy.

OLIVER
Nobody seems to know about the war,

everybody stares at my uniform or ID … if I tell you everything what happened since this morning, I’d sound like a whiner…and you wouldn’t want to have sex with me.

TIME CUT:

Marie doesn’t stop

MARIE
Do I want to have sex with you?

OLIVER
From what I see I‘d say ….

MARIE Actually, yes.

OLIVER
So you won’t give me a suggestion

for a Hotel nearby?

MARIE

OLIVER

MARIE

No Seriously?

Yes

Marie finishes lousily the bandage, comes up and turns in for a kiss

INT. APARTMENT – MARIE – NIGHT

Oliver and Marie bump through the door – kiss wildly

…. undressing each other.

Marie bumps into the fresh bandaged wound which makes Oliver groan.

MARIE
Don’t be such a whiner, you pussy

OLIVER
I forgot, you’re the pussy here

On they go, they engage in a passionate and wild encounter of sex.

Find joy and temporary solace in each other’s arms.

INT. APARTMENT – MARIE – NIGHT

After their encounter. Marie naked, has her head on Olivers naked chest, purring like a cat.

64.

MARIE
How long did you say you had no

sex.

OLIVER
Four, four and half month.

MARIE
Can we do this again, like in the

morning?

OLIVER (smiles)

I hope so.

MARIE (sleeping away)

Mhhmmmm.

OLIVER
You still won’t suggest a hotel

nearby?

MARIE Nooo wayyy

Marie sleeps. …..Oliver does not fall asleep. …..He looks at the ceiling. …..He dims the lights.

He is restless. He walks up and down the room.

He gets dressed, about to leave the apartment. Too late, the attack is on it’s way.

OLIVER (under his breath)

We have to wait until the morning, Mum.

Oliver makes it to an armchair next to the bed. His hands start to tremble. He tries to be silent, his arms and knees, then his head and neck, everything trembles, goes out of control.

Oliver looks at the ceiling, bites not to make noises. The pictures come. Flashy. No story, just flashes of his soldier life, watching others die.

Soldiers being shot, running, falling. Soldier Bauer in his arms, the shot into the kids niqab, the water canteen, the truck exploding.

END OF PILOT
Jan Fantl

Member
July 31, 2023 at 3:10 pm in reply to: Lesson 11

Please find homeworks completed in Lesson 12
Jan Fantl

Member
July 31, 2023 at 3:10 pm in reply to: Lesson 10

Please find homeworks completed in Lesson 12
Jan Fantl

Member
July 31, 2023 at 3:09 pm in reply to: Lesson 9

Please find homeworks completed in Lesson 12
Jan Fantl

Member
July 31, 2023 at 3:07 pm in reply to: Lesson 8

please find homeworks completed in Lesson 12
Jan Fantl

Member
July 31, 2023 at 3:06 pm in reply to: Lesson 7

please find homeworks completed in Lesson 12
Jan Fantl

Member
July 31, 2023 at 3:05 pm in reply to: Lesson 6

bad listening pupil I am. Please find homeworks completed in Lesson 12
Jan Fantl

Member
July 31, 2023 at 3:01 pm in reply to: Lesson 12

Jan’s Description 1

WIL: I continue to work on the script as whole. Potentially a bad pupil, I work not on ten, I worked on all descriptions on all scenes. This version – I tend to label it 3rd draft contains all development of assignments 5,6,7,8,9,10,11 and 12.

EXT. WAR ZONE VILLAGE – DAY

SOLDIER 1, in full armored combat, drinks from his canteen.

Desert heat. A child approaches, mimicking the drinking sign.

SUPER: 2021 AFGHANISTAN

EXT. WAR ZONE ROADSIDE – DAY

In a distance Major OLIVER WIND, in full German combat gear, sits on the roof of an armored car, grabs for his mouth piece

OLIVER

(in mike)

Falcon One for nest. Keep the kiddo away. Don’t let it come near to any of you.

Oliver scans the surrounding of the village. His special unit of fifteen German soldiers cover the activities as an inner ring.

EXT. WAR ZONE VILLAGE -DAY

Soldier 1, sitting on a semi armored pick up truck, waves with his hand towards the kid to stay away.

The kid in an Arabic Burka stops, signals too, makes the international sign for drinking

OLIVER

(O.S.)

Soldier in nest, do not let the kid approach, it could be an asset. Copy

The kid waves with both hands. The soldier ignores the warning ..

The Kid approaches the truck…

SOLDIER 1

I think he really asks for something to drink. He looks thirsty

OLIVER

(O.S.)

Shoo him away. This is an order.

EXT. WAR ZONE ROADSIDE – DAY

OLIVER

Any team near the kid and nest?

AIDE

(over intercom)

I am 30 sec away

VOICE

(over intercom)

On my way, in 20

… the kid is only 18 sec away.

Oliver shoots into the air to raise attention.

The working soldiers turn. The kid turns… and starts running the last meters towards the truck

Soldier 1 understands the situation. He lifts his weapon

SOLDIER 1

Stop. Do not come close! Stop now!

Oliver aims at the kid through his special rifle’s scope… the kid … nothing in his hands

OLIVER

Somebody has to be around. All ring one check visuals, somebody must have an eye-line on him.

Oliver is searching the windows and roof tops from his PoV

VOICE

(over intercom)

Suspect on my eleven o’clock, your eight.

Oliver swings around, backwards

VOICE

Window, first floor, zero25 clicks.

Oliver sees through the scope a man watching the boy. He swings back

OLIVER

Stop the boy, shoot in the sand in front of his feet, or his feet, stop him. NOW

SOLDIER 1

Stop. Do not come Close! Stop now!

The kid is in reach of the truck.

Oliver swings around with his scope. The man behind the window speaks. Is this praying? The man bows. Yes!!!!!

Oliver swings back, the kid touches the truck

ARABIC KID

Allah is great

BOUUMMMMHH

Everything explodes, a fireball, the truck is lifted several meters, no kid, a soldier body flies burning through the air …, fire and dust.

Oliver watches, his face covered, speaks same time.

OLIVER

(intercom)

All team Falcon. Outer ring: nobody leaves the village. Inner ing : Swarm and find his accomplices, the kid didn’t trigger it by himself. Somebody nearby did. Find these fuckers!

Oliver jumps off his jeep and runs

OLIVER

Medics, stay back, wait for orders.

Soldier 1 lays 30 meters away from where his truck was. Oliver knees next to him

Oliver checking the area, with scope and without.

OLIVER

Medics come in

He opens the Kevlar vest, a lot of blood gushing.

OLIVER

Falcon One for Camp M, copy

VOICE CAMP

(O.S.)

Come in Falcon One.

Two medic soldiers arrive, take over solder 1.

OLIVER

We have been ambushed. One man wounded, one seriously. We are 45 clicks out, preparing for transport. Send Medvac for air transport, prepare hospital. Copy that.

VOICE CAMP

(O.S.)

Copy. Two injured, one for immediate surgeries. Forward Id and we’ll prepare for blood preserves at al.

OLIVER

ID is on daily sheet …. With …

Oliver grabs Soldier 1’s dog tag

OLIVER

Unicorn-Bravo-Delta-One-One-Zero-Seven-Nine-Zero-Six

VOICE CAMP

(O.S.)

Recorded. Will forward. ESTA us once airborne. Copy that

OLIVER

Cop..

The Medic soldiers try to keep Soldier 1 alive. .

VOICE CAMP

(breaking up, white noise)

Falcon? Copy…….Falcon Cop

SCREEN GOES BLACK

EXT. MILITARY CAMP – IN FRONT OF POLICE BUILDING – DAY

OVER BLACK

AIDE

(O.S.)

Oliver…Oliver, common, Oli for God’s sake.

ON: Oliver wakes up from a dream, disturbed and agitated.

OLIVER

You can make … What. Ohh. What. ….Fuck… Again.

AIDE

Yo bro. You need to wake. Here.

Aide holds a bottle of water. Oliver goes from something to nothing, starts shaking, breathing.

OLIVER

No. Ohhhhh. W…what….hm Hm hm

It’s a panic attack.

Aide, not surprised, slaps Oliver’s face.

AIDE

Yes, you can…, come back, I am here, ….common…

It does not work. Aide grabs a grocery bag from one of his many soldier pants pockets and pulls it over Oliver’s head. Pulls it tight.

Oliver defends himself, wriggles and squirms. Aide holds tight and Oliver faints and slumps in his seat.

Aide releases the grocery bag instantly.

… Oliver gains consciousness and returns to this side of the universe.

Aide hands him a can with a power drink.

AIDE

Welcome back, boss. Are we ready to continue with that prick?

OLIVER

In a sec.

Takes a sip. Inhales. Another sip.

OLIVER

Ok, Allah is great. Let s see

Oliver gets up. He and his aide walk into the building marked MP.

END OF TEASER

ACT 1: TRAVEL

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM – DAY

Oliver leans over the table – some time has passed – and positions a plastic cup of water in his third of the table.

OLIVER

(in English)

Ok, let’s look at it this way. Here is some water. What do you want to put on your side of the playfield? A name, a name of a village? Tell me.

The TRANSLATER in uniform next to Oliver points at the cup.

TRANSLATOR

Bāshe, bīāyīd īnja bengarīm. Īnjā ye kam āb hast. Mikhāy chīzī rūy-e zamin-e bāzi begzāri? Ye nām, yā nām-e yek dehkade? Behem bego.

MAHMOUD

Nāme man Mahmūd Khālid ben Khālid Al Masmoorī ast va man yek jangjū-ye Khodā hastam.

TRANSLATOR

My name is Mahmoud Khalid ben Khalid Al Masmouri and I am warrior of Allah.

OLIVER

Yes. But even warriors have knights, servants, chieftains. Allah would accept apologies if we’d knew who ordered you to trigger.

TRANSLATOR

Baleh. Amma hattā jangjūhā ham shavāliyehā, khādemhā va rūesāyi dārand. Agar bedānim kī dastur-e to rā barā-ye eqdām dāde ast, Khodāvand ‘ozrkhāhī rā qabūl mīkonad.

MAHMOUD

Khodā hekīm ast. Ū hameh chiz rā mibīnad.

Oliver responses before Translator

OLIVER

Allah is wise. He sees it all. I have heard this one before.

Yes, he does. And he will see that the kid does not know what to do with 99 virgins. Too…

A YOUNG SOLDIER enters the room, salutes and walks over to Oliver, whispers discreetly in his ear.

OLIVER

Thank you soldier. (turns) Now we’re heading to new playgrounds. Death row, Mahmoud. One kid, two body counts on our end. Murder.

TRANSLATOR

Hālā be so-ye zaminhā-ye bāzi jadīdī mīravad. Rū be marg, Mahmūd. Yek bachcheh va do jasad dar entezār-e mā. Qatl.

Oliver hangs in silently.

Patient.

MAHMOUD

(under his breath-in English)

Allah is wise. One of our child heroes took two of your well trained men. (looks at Oliver). We have more children and women than you soldiers.

Oliver looks at the translator.

OLIVER

So we do speak, good.

breathes to calm himself ..turns to soldier

OLIVER

Thank you soldier, dismissed.

The young soldier salutes, turns…the wrong way around … Mahmoud checks and jumps… Oliver realizes same time but is on the wrong side. Mahmoud grabs the long knife on the young soldiers hip and re surfaces with the deadly blade in his hands.

Oliver pushes the young soldier out of the eye-line and signals the guard by the door to not use his weapon.

MAHMOUD

(in English)

Allah will show me the way. Allah is wise.

OLIVER

He will show you no exit Mahmoud. Nothing will happen here. Nothing.

He signals the guard by the door. Oliver stays behind the table.

OLIVER

Nobody is armed here but the guard and you. Not me and not the young stupid walking in here with a knife to his hip.

What do you want to do? Want to debate with Allah?

I tell … stop, don’t move – listen. I am giving now orders to the guard:….

Sergeant, you are going not to kill the suspect. Train at his thighs, calves and ankles. Shoot until he cannot get off the ground. Copy.

GUARD BY THE DOOR

Sir, copy that, I will shoot not kill, sir.

OLIVER

That’s for that, you will not die through the enemy. So, what now? My comrades will stay back in the far corner, watch and hope to survive this. And they will. And you will.

Oliver moves slowly.

OLIVER

Leaves you with me. Hmm. No dying, no virgins, no honor.

Mahmoud reacts to Oliver’s negotiation.

MAHMOUD

(agitated)

These kind of fairy tales do not work with Allah. We don’t have to listen to infidels.

OLIVER

Fine, Allah may stay out of it. Leaves us with just you. And this interrogation about a cowardly set ambush. And your trial. No honor… but death row, yes, depends. Honor… No. Certainly a No

Mahmoud steps back into his corner, raises the knife ….against himself, to cut his own throat.

Oliver knew it, steps on the chair , grabs the cup of water from the table… flies into Mahmouds corner …

Mahmoud for a split second irritated wether to turn the knife against Oliver or himself … looses time … and Oliver gushes the water into the face of Mahmoud and split seconds later has his wrist. Knife gone, Oliver lays on him

OLIVER

Guard, take him. And to his cell..

Done. No fight.

The guard rushes into their corner of the room and fixes one hand and with Oliver getting up, the other one.

OLIVER

24 hours no contact. Food and water based on human rights, nothing more, nothing less.

Mahmoud spits on the floor in front of Oliver.

OLIVER

How does this gets any better than that?

Mahmoud is led away. In the opened door AIDE arrives.

AIDE

(formal)

Major Wind, Lieutenant Colonel Brauen request your presence.

Oliver looks at his buddy, they are comrades and soldiers, knowing every tone between the lines.

AIDE

… Instantly

Oliver reacts …

EXT. MILITARY CAMP – DAY

… and they – Aide and Oliver – walk together through the German camp in the midst of the desert.

OLIVER

What is it? You know?

AIDE

Nope, nothing. But he looked like ..calm

OLIVER

Calm? That sounds dangerous. About my latest complain back home?

AIDE

I have checked mail and IT, not a word. Not what I have access to.

OLIVER

(suddenly agitated)

Really I have enough. We have a different mission than protecting drug transports on behalf of the government. And watch our people get killed

AIDE

Or it’s something about your nightmares. It won’t take long and the team will know. You re having them now in open daylight.

OLIVER

(uninterrupted)

It’s not our job. Even if our pharmaceutical industry really needs it…….I spend my time with the wrong killers.

AIDE

I m with you, but now cool it. Let’s be business now.

OLIVER

Right.

Walk away into the HQ building.

INT. CAMP HQ – OFFICE – DAY

Oliver stays in front of a desk.

His Commanding Officer, Lieutenant Colonel BRAUEN looking at a map.

LT CL BRAUEN

Sad afternoon, Major Wind. Stay at ease.

OLIVER

Yes Sir, losses. Triggered by an individual misinterpretation. A fault – led to own death and casualties. If I may ( he is not interrupted) We had 15 minutes left packing the trucks. It wasn’t really the mistake of this unexperienced …

LT CL BRAUEN

I appreciate your instant report, Major but has to interrupt it. This meeting has a different topic.

Oliver stops, waiting for the bad news.

LT CL BRAUEN

You are flying home. You are released for an undetermined window of time.

….

OLIVER

Sir. I had to send this. Too many of my men are dying because of …

LT CL BRAUEN

..and it is not about your petition either. Please have a seat.

Oliver does

LT CL BRAUEN

It is my sad duty to send you home because … You are flying home to assist your mother as your father has passed away last night.

Oliver looks at LT CL Brauen.

Stone faced. Stare. Nothing.

LT CL BRAUEN

Nothing soothers this. Death is different in the family than here. Please do not become a stranger, we are here for you.

Oliver gets out his chair.

OLIVER

I appreciate Sir. With your permission?

Lieutenant Colonel BRAUEN gets up as well. Offers a handshake.

LT CL BRAUEN

With all respect due, Major Wind. Be strong, be back. Dismissed.

INT. CAMP HQ – TRAVEL MANAGEMENT – DAY

TRANSPORTATION MANAGER LT.

Yes and Yes. YES, you have travel status. And Yes, you have the next available seat in 42 hours

AIDE

Common there must be a better option, this is a sad thing and he ….

Oliver is not part of this conversation, stays behind in the back

TRANSPORTATION MANAGER LT.

No, .. he has already prio 2 from Lt.Brauen. We ….

AIDE

… Prio 2? How about Prio 1 then? Can’t you put him on prio one??

TRANSPORTATION MANAGER LT.

One? That’s a flightcode to report to the Chancellor and the minister.

OLIVER

(from the back)

Really? Any other short cut?

TRANSPORTATION MANAGER LT.

Yes Major. In two days.

EXT. CAMP – DAY

OLIVER

I want you to find something to take me out of here. Not 49 or 44. In six hours the latest. A flying carpet, an elephant, anything.

Aide leaves.

INT. TENT/BARRACK – OLIVER – DAY

Oliver sits on his bed, next to minimal packed backpack. He tries to reach his mother on his satellite phone.

No answer.

Aide enters.

AIDE

Oli, let’s run. No flights other than the one fucking cargo leaving in six minutes.

OLIVER

(wakes alert)

Now? Where?

AIDE

Now-Now. I’ll tell on the way, c’mon

Oliver grabs backpack while already moving.

They run.

EXT. AIRFIELD – DAWN

Oliver and Aide running

AIDE

You have probably no seat or so. Stuff flying back for repair

OLIVER

That ok, haven’t slept since days anyway……You make sure when our American friends pick him up, that Mahmoud is alive and still around when I’m back.

AIDE

Oli, c’mon? We have to hand him over

OLIVER

That is not an order, I want you to promise

AIDE

Yes, will be alive and waiting.

OLIVER

You will talk in person to our US commies and tell them, we have a witness. I am the witness, what ever it needs, he does not go Guantanamo. ……Promise.

Oliver grabs him by the shoulders.

OLIVER

I’ll do the funeral and will be back. Days may be a week ….

It’s loud. Oliver phone rings.

EXT. AIRFIELD – NEAR CARGO PLANE – DAWN

Aide sees the blue light flashing through Oliver’s breast pocket, points at it. Oliver grabs his ringing satellite phone and it shows MAMMA

OLIVER

Mum? I am on..

THE SCREEN OPENS TO A SPLIT OF OLIVER AND FREDDIE

FREDDIE

Oliver, Are you coming? I need …

The connection is noisy,

OLIVER

Yes Mum, I am just running to catch the plane and …

FREDDIE

I need to tell you something urgent. Can we speak for 5 minutes?

OLIVER

Mum, this is the only plane. I need to go on board ….

FREDDIE

But it’s urgent. Your dad. The family is going out ….

The cargo officer is waving him in….. Oliver is running towards the open hatch of the cargo…

From the other side a semi truck speeds into frame. Two soldiers bringing a body bag, running towards the open hatch.

OLIVER

I can’t hear you well. We talk in the morning ok? We’re flying out now. I ‘ll call you when landed

Oliver hangs up, turns, waving to Aide

AIDE

(signs and mouth moves)

Call me, weirdo.

Making the idiot moves

Oliver smirks, nods. Closing hatch interrupts their eye line..

INT. CARGO PLANE – DARK

(Optional)

Oliver sits between damaged jeeps and trucks, weaponry. Unable to take his eyes away from the body bag with the small German flag on it. He shakes like a baby – no tears though.

EXT. AIRFIELD GERMANY – NIGHT

Rain, wind, fall.

Oliver in his sand uniform disembarks down the open hatch. Soldiers wait.

Oliver checks the situation, approaches the officer who supervises the procedure

OLIVER

Sergeant.

AIRFIELD OFFICER

(checks, salutes)

Major

OLIVER

Save it, at ease. Do me a favor? There is a bag on the flight? One of my mates returning. Please pick some of your sensitive guys when they go to see his parents.

AIRFIELD OFFICER

A Comrade? Fuck… Sorry Major, we will. We will look after him on his way home.

An airfield soldier comes from the pilots door, holds a midsized metal briefcase. He salutes, unlocks the briefcase

OLIVER

Appreciate. Is driving service around?

Oliver takes his handgun and the magazine out, checks, loads and puts in his sidearm holster.

AIRFIELD OFFICER

Yes sir, No sir. We got information your driver will be about 3 to 4 hours late.

Oliver signs for his weapon, the soldier is dismissed.

OLIVER

Why?

AIRFIELD OFFICER

We have no intel on this, sir.

OLIVER

I need to sleep, any bunk free here.

AIRFIELD OFFICER

Sorry no Sir. This is an airfield only, no barracks no nothing other than trucks and gasoline.

OLIVER

Next exit?

AIRFIELD OFFICER

The 9Inn, I can get you a lift. Best option around.

Oliver nods.

OLIVER

And let my transport know where to p.u. me.

INT. THE 9 INN – NIGHT

Oliver looks at..

CONCIERGE 9INN

…not kidding. 360 €uro it is until six o’clock. We charge by the 30 minutes, you’ll do the math.

OLIVER

I really want to sleep, nothing else.

CONCIERGE 9INN

Got it, but then room is blocked, dude.

OLIVER

How does that get any better? Look, I just return from war, brought back a buddy home. Dead. A rebate maybe, for just a shower?

CONCIERGE 9INN

Your a real soldier? Not from the airfield? Ok, here’s my hero rebate.

He turns the sign paper, with a scribbled number on it

OLIVER

Hm, seems I AM a hero.

Grabs the pen and signs.

CONCIERGE 9INN

But maybe one of the girls needs to take a nap on the other side of your bed, just a nap.

OLIVER

Man, I am so dead, haven’t slept for more than 40 hours. As long as she doesn’t shoot at me.

CONCIERGE 9INN

No extra service. Right.

OLIVER GRABS THE KEY CARD. THE CONCIERGE SALUTS.

INT. ROOM WITH A BED – DARK

Oliver emerges from the in-room-shower, his tiredness evident.

It’s a tiny room. Oliver steps over his backpack, more present than several tattoos are his scars from heavy wounds on back, tighs and his arm, remembrances to past experiences.

Exhausted, Oliver grabs his satellite phone. He glances at his watch,

Watch 2:25am.

He puts the phone back on the nightstand

Rubs his face, and …

falls asleep before he hits linen.

INT. ROOM WITH A BED – DARK

Oliver is restless in his sleep, bumps into Xenia’s arm and

immediately on alert, he startles, looks, ready to fight…

XENIA, a semi-attractive pro with wit, wakes too.

XENIA

What?

Sees his hands ready for combat

OLIVER

I said, no services, did I?

XENIA

Right but boss told you, I might need a rest too.

OLIVER

Yes?

XENIA

Yes. Man, sex worker, sleep, peace.

She looks at the bedspread

XENIA

But maybe you wanna reconsider, regulate some pressure before going home seeing Mutti.

Wrong button. “Mutti” rings the bell. Oliver looks at his wrist

OLIVER

Shit, it’s eight? Man.

He jumps out of bed, forgetting he is totally naked. Xenia looks at his/him

XENIA

(sarcasm yet motivating)

You sure you don’t want to regulate a bit?

Oliver looks out of the window, no car outside.

OLIVER

What are you doing this mornin’? I’ll give you 50.

Conversation goes sideways.

XENIA

Changed your mind quickly. Sure.

OLIVER

Surely not. Drive me to the next car rental

XENIA

Oh, ok. 70 then.

Oliver stepping naked over his back pack towards bath room, looks at her in her exotic call girl underwear

OLIVER

Need a t shirt or so?

Xenia kind of likes his humor but mostly looks at his/him

XENIA

Got two… or so. In case you ever need to regulate pressure, lemme know.

Xenia totally openly smiles at Oliver. Oliver first time realizes he stands in front of her with an erection

OLIVER

Can we?

END OF ACT 1

ACT 2: ARRIVAL

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – DAY

Oliver drives into town, still in his sand uniform. He takes in the sights of places he has not seen for quite a while.

A public bus honks from behind, Oliver drives on a bus lane. He hasn’t noticed

The car GPS guides him and announces

SIRI

(O.S.)

In 200 meters take a right. The location will be on your right hand side

EXT./INT. HOME STREET – OLIVER

Oliver arrives at the house of his parents.

He has to give way to a grey minibus transporter which comes out of the parking spot in front of the house.

Oliver passes the house, finds a parking spot nearby.

Oliver walks back.

EXT. IN FRONT OF THE WIND HOME – DAY

Oliver walks up the small driveway. He sees a woman – PETRA – locking the main door.

Oliver addresses her

OLIVER

Hi there, good morning.

PETRA

Good morning. Are you a relative?

OLIVER

Yes. I am his son.

They are on different stages of information.

PETRA

His son? OK then, where is the husband, your father?

OLIVER

Bad timing for jokes. I am just arriving for mourning. Is she home?

Oliver moves to walk around Petra to ring the doorbell.

PETRA

I am not into jokes. Fredericke Wind passed this night and if you know where to contact her husband I’d appreciate you give me the information.

Oliver stops in his motions

OLIVER

There must be a misunderstanding. I believe my father died 49 hours ago. And who are you, actually?

Petra pulls her detective ID and holds it in his direction.

PETRA

Petra Müller, Homicide Cottbus. I am sorry for your loss but I don’t know of any misunderstandings. And I would like to see your IDs.

There is a brief, difficult moment for Oliver. He could loose his calm within this three secs of dangerous blink in his eyes.

Oliver stays calm, pulls out his military ID and hands it over.

PETRA

(checks)

Oliver Wind. Major with the Saxonian hunter brigade. You have any other ID?

OLIVER

If rules haven’t changed since I got on the plane 36 hours ago, officer, soldiers don’t fly in and out of war zones carrying ID’s on them but this one.

Petra sees that Oliver carries a handgun on his hip.

PETRA

But the registration to carry a weapon in Germany you do have?

Oliver leans forward and Petra overreacts a bit as if he would attack.

Oliver points to a certain line on his ID

Petra reads.

PETRA

Soldier is authorized to carry weapons in all territories world wide.

OLIVER

Actually it is Major, Military police, at the Nato Response Force.

So please fill me in.

PETRA

I am not filling you in, you have no jurisdiction here.

Oliver takes a deep breath. She is right.

OLIVER

Ok. You mind I give you the answers inside?

Petra looks at Oliver ..2..3..4.. turns and unlocks the door.

INT. THE WIND HOME – DAY

Oliver looks around, it is very silent. He turns to Petra.

OLIVER

For what I know, we received message via the family intel center that my father has passed. I have been released from duties to travel and to assist my mother with the funeral and all what comes with it. And mourning. This happened Tuesday late afternoon local time Camp Marmal, North Afghanistan. Now it’s Thursday morning and you are telling not my father passed but my mother?

Petra hits a different tone as well, recognizes that Oliver co-operates.

PETRA

Then it’s my sad duty to inform you that your mother passed this early morning, here at her home. I don’t know about your father. I hear this from you first time. Who gave this information?

OLIVER

I assume my mother informed the FIC, which is the contact hub for all relatives of army personnel …..

…. And my mother and I spoke on the phone before boarding. What happened to her?

Oliver walks around, Petra follows him, always watches what he does or touches.

PETRA

Police received a call by neighbors that a window was constantly slamming open and close in the weather. Which seemed unusual for them.

Oliver reaches the bedroom of his parents. His brain takes pictures.

PETRA

A patrol car stopped by, checked and opened the door after nobody responded. They found your mother on the bed at 3:11 and called us.

Oliver looks at bed, loneliness begins to dawn.

PETRA

Your mother died peacefully during her sleep.

This is not so rare in very long relationships. Sorry.

Oliver leaves the bedroom, strolls to his mothers home office.

OLIVER

(back to this world)

No. The other way round? Maybe. My mother? No. And my father would wanted that too ….

would want her continue to live on. Something is wrong.

Petra is not impressed by his analyzes.

PETRA

I understand your grief. No signs of external circumstances. No indication showed to start to investigate.

We looked carefully, the open window nor the door show any signs of outside intrusion.

Oliver strolls by the desk and sees an open calendar on the desk. Without stopping his brain takes picture despite the writing is upside down.

FLASH OF CALENDAR: 16:00 NOTARY

PETRA

It’s tough, sure. You just arrived, you must be tired. Maybe you should touch base with the other relatives first.

OLIVER

Yes, the other relatives. (sarcastic) That should be great help.

PETRA

Yes. Shall we?

Oliver looks at Petra.

OLIVER

Shall we what?

PETRA

Leave?

OLIVER

Where?

PETRA

I don’t know. You are not registered under this address, you have no own keys as I understand. You can’t stay. Officially this is not your home. And I don’t know if you are in charge or somebody else from the family. Siblings or so.

OLIVER

You are kidding me. I m flying 8.000 kilometers to have no access to my parents home? What do you want me to present?

PETRA

I don’t know. To hand you the keys I need to see something, Mr. Military police Major Wind, correct? Confirmation of registration, power of attorney, last will.

Oliver knows she is – inhumanly – right, he follows her to leave the house.

EXT. IN FRONT OF THE WIND HOME – DAY

Oliver passes by Petra. She locks the door.

PETRA

(with a slight tone of sarcasm)

You actually should thank me. A minute ago you claimed this to be a crime scene.

Petra hands him a business card.

PETRA

Bring me anything that proves your authorization to enter and stay at this house and I will hand you the keys.

Petra leaves leaves Oliver stunned.

OLIVER

Be sure I will. Make sure to be reachable. Something is off. And this will be sorted.

Petra doesn’t turn.

END OF ACT 2

ACT 3: DOORS WIDE SHUT

EXT. IN FRONT OF THE WIND HOME – DAY

Oliver sits in his sand uniform, alone on the doorsteps, helpless for the moment, contemplating.

Phone rings.

Oliver pulls the satellite phone, answers it.

OLIVER

Wind.

SPLIT SCREEN OPENS -ZOOM/FACE TIME LIKE BOTH ARE ON-SCREEN

BRIGADIER GENERAL

Major Wind. I am just popping in to see how you are holding up.

OLIVER

Brigadier General. Thank you for calling.

BRIGADIER GENERAL

Are you in a private situation?

OLIVER

Yes, sir. I am alone.

BRIGADIER GENERAL

Skip the sirring. Oliver please accept my dearest condolences. I wish for lot of strength for the up coming time. And please say high to your mum and give her my best, will you?

OLIVER

Thank you Paul, but it’s worse than that…. My mother passed away too, few hours ago while I was still in the air.

…..Paul says nothing for a couple of seconds.

BRIGADIER GENERAL

You know I, no…. words are not sufficient. I want you to know …shit. Rest if possible. Oliver I have your back when you need me, right?

OLIVER

I appreciate, that’s is good to know. Thank you.

BRIGADIER GENERAL

Is there anything you need right now?

Oliver gets up walks of the premise, towards the car.

OLIVER

I think it was not as peaceful for my mom as the local police sees it. But I need to clear my head first.

BRIGADIER GENERAL

Take it slow, Oliver. We are all afraid when you start to investigate. But you are in civilist public. And family stuff is different. Will you listen to me, Major Wind?

OLIVER

Aye sir, General brigadier, I will. But there is a truth that needs to be uncovered, I can smell it, Paul.

BRIGADIER GENERAL

You will let me know, promise?

OLIVER

Yes, Sir.

BRIGADIER GENERAL

And get you a cell phone, no need to call via satellite for the moment.

Oliver hangs up, packs satellite phone into the sand jacket

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – DAY

Oliver looks on screen of a smart phone. A map shows how to walk. Oliver looks up, unfamiliar with the buildings of his former home town.

INT. RESIDENTS’ REGISTRATION OFFICE – DAY

SUPER: A NUMBER BLINKS

Oliver walks to a desk, shows his military ID.

OLIVER

Hello Madam, I hope you can help me. I just flew in and active soldiers carry this as only identification available. I need registration at my parents house, what do I need to fill?

LADY AT REGISTRATION

Sure. Where are you registered currently.

OLIVER

At the barracks address of my regiment. FJR One, 13405 Berlin.

LADY AT REGISTRATION

Have you been registered here in Cottbus as well?

OLIVER

Yes, but that was eighteen years ago. Before I joined the army. Not since.

LADY AT REGISTRATION

Then we have a problem.

OLIVER

Becuase I am with the army?

LADY AT REGISTRATION

No…. But

She turns towards her screen and types stuff. Oliver looks at her name tag on her desk, it shows Mrs. Wind.

LADY AT REGISTRATION

…Yes. We are digitizing all paper files and documents. And we progressed only into year 2009. I can’t find you.

OLIVER

But then you have it on paper?

LADY AT REGISTRATION

No, unfortunately. They have been outsourced for digitization.

OLIVER

What else is possible? I see we have the same name. Did you know Friedericke and Harry Wind?

LADY AT REGISTRATION

Freddie? Sure we are from the same family tribe. Her father is my mums cousin. Say hi to them. But then the solution is simple. (lowers voice). Have one of them join you and see me, sign for you and I’ll register you, right then and there. (she whispers even more) We don’t need to make a big fuzz then, do we?

OLIVER

That actually is the problem. My parents passed away the last two days. Nobody to show up here.

The Lady with the name Wind looks at him in pain.

LADY AT REGISTRATION

OMG, I am so sorry. Please accept my condolences for this hard situation in life.

…. But then I am afraid I have no solution to offer.

Oliver looks stunned.

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – DAY

Oliver on the steps of the local registration office. He pulls out his new smartphone and types a number from the top of head.

OLIVER

Major Wind, FJR One, 3456789. Staff office 1 please. ….. Holding.

Listens.

OLIVER

Yes, hi. Major Wind, FJR One, DeltaOceanZulu3456789.

I do need your assistance please. I have been released of duties for short period of time. I am in Germany and need you to check my files. Is there a copy of certificate of birth? Or my last address before joining the army? Please check for anything to document where I lived before 2002.

Listens.

OLIVER

Yes, I understand. Check with the commanding officer of staff office. And when in doubt, he should double check with Brigadier General Paul Flut in Hannover HQ of MP.

Walking the street, Oliver recognizes a man – Uncle Hans (not sure) – on the open air terrace of a restaurant next to the town hall. The man sits opposite an attractive young woman (32ish) in business apparel.

OLIVER

I appreaciate your assistance, please make it urgent. Do you see the number on your screen. Yes. This is …while I am in Germany. Thank you Master Sergeant Baum. …Ah, and please inform Staff One, my transportation yesterday night never appeared.

No, never did, just for the records.

Oliver sits by an ugly monument on the square, pulls his satellite phone, finds and types a number into the smart phone. Dials.

He sees in the distance UNCLE HANS grabs the phone and picks up.

SPLIT SCREEN OPENS -ZOOM/FACE TIME LIKE BOTH ARE ON-SCREEN

UNCLE HANS

Wind?

OLIVER

Yes, me too. Oliver Wind.

UNCLE HANS

Oliver. I am so sorry about your father. What a terrible accident. Where are you? Still in Afghanistan?

Oliver packs the satellite phone. He gets up and starts to walk towards the terrace of the restaurant where his uncle, HANS WIND, sits.

OLIVER

No, I just arrived in Cottbus. I thought I call you, his brother first and we can talk …

UNCLE HANS

yes. Absolutely. The right thing to do. ..It’s just..

Oliver closes in on Uncle Hans

UNCLE HANS

…I am not in town today. .. I am on a business trip and will be back tomorrow.

Oliver looks at the man speaking clearly into the phone while looking at the young lady. Oliver stops

UNCLE HANS

You must be tired. Why don’t you take a rest. And be with your mother, I m sure she will need you in these tough hours. Surely she feels a bit better, you holding her.

Oliver realizes he obvious doesn’t know the actual situation.

UNCLE HANS

…and you come by tomorrow. And we’ll talk all things through. Funeral and so.

OLIVER

Ok, thank you. I will call tomorrow.

Oliver decides and walks by the terrace to see if Uncle Hans traps himself in his lies. But Uncle Hans doesn’t look at the people passing by. He addresses the young woman -CLARICE- .

UNCLE HANS

(O.S.)

He is already in town.

CLARICE

Then we have not much time left.

Oliver can hear their conversation

CLARICE

I will discuss with my father next steps.

UNCLE HANS

Let’s do that. Family Urgencies.

Oliver walks out of eavesdropping distance. Question marks on his face.

INT. REGISTRY OFFICE – DAY

Oliver meets with the registrar.

OLIVER

Thank you for seeing me on such short notice. The situation to sort is as follows. My parents passed away within the last couple of hours. I have no access to their home and I would need a copy of my birth certificate. What do I have to do?

REGISTRAR

Please accept my condolences for your loss. Have you and your parents lived here in Cottbus?

OLIVER

Yes. I am born in Cottbus to Fredericke and Harry Wind.

REGISTRAR

No way. I am so sorry. Then you are Oliver. I am so so sorry. What happened?

OLIVER

My father had an accident two days ago and my mother was found … not sure dead, this morning in her bedroom.

Without papers it seems tough to get more informations here, as long it’s not documented that I am the only child alive.

REGISTRAR

You are. Your older brother has been declared dead and missing, 10 or eleven years ago.

But your situation sounds indeed difficult. What papers have you got?

Oliver sighs, he has explained this a couple of times already.

OLIVER

Soldiers carry no official papers on them other than their military ID. And I live in the barracks when in Germany and therefore registered nowhere outside.

REGISTRAR

I have a solution for you. You come back with Harry’s brother, Hans or your grandmother Granny Lehner and one testifies you are you and I will expedite a Birth certificate for you.

OLIVER

Is that the simplest way?

REGISTRAR

Yes, and I am already bending the rules there.

OLIVER

And it will take how long?

REGISTRAR

A couple of days. Two weeks tops.

Oliver looks stunned.

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – DAY

Oliver takes the ringing smart phone out of his pocket.

CORONER’S CLERK

Mr. Wind? Mr. Oliver Wind.

OLIVER

Speaking.

CORONER’S CLERK

This is regarding your call this morning. You left messages about your mother’s body and her whereabouts.

OLIVER

Yes. Have you spoken with your boss?

CORONER’S CLERK

Yes. And he asked me to give you the following information and message.

Do not call again unless you have some kind of authorization or power of attorney.

OLIVER

Listen. I did explain …

The call is abruptly ended

Frustrated, Oliver takes a deep breath, shakes his head.

OLIVER

This city, friendly as it was.

NT. BANK – DAY

Oliver sits opposite a BANK CLERK, whose name tag again bears the name Wind.

BANK CLERK WIND

(repeating)

I am sorry to sound repetitive yet as said, the policy of the bank is individually set a bit differently.

The power of attorney needs not only be signed by the both of you. It has to be notarized as well.

OLIVER

And if I can’t present it. What will happen then?

BANK CLERK WIND

We will need to wait for the Death certificate and the confirmation administrator of estate. He, she or them will be authorized to request the bank to act.

OLIVER

And til then? What about standing orders, direct debits? Other responsibilities of my parents.

BANK CLERK WIND

I am not entitled to speak about this in detail but rest assured, I will be taking care that things continue smoothly.

OLIVER

But you are family too, correct? Shouldn’t that be overlooked by somebody else?

BANK CLERK WIND

(gets up)

Mr.Wind, Please, again accept my deepest condolences for your losses but there is actually nothing more to discuss. Don’t misunderstand me yet things are regulated and my hands are tied.

EXT. COTTBUS STREET – NEAR TOPPER CAR COMPOUND – DAY

Oliver walks and grabs the ringing phone

a call from the military HQ,

OLIVER

Major Wind

SOLDIER STAFF OFFICE 1

Staff Office One, Master sergeant Baum, sir. We spoke earlier.

OLIVER

Yes, Master Sergeant. You have intel for me?

SOLDIER STAFF OFFICE 1

Yes, sir. Actually no sir. We checked all your files. There is no home office registration nor other documents. There is your signed application to join the army; later co signed by your mother and your high school diploma. Nothing more.

OLIVER

Nothing else?

SOLDIER STAFF OFFICE 1

No, sir. There are all your diplomas and course certificates within the army and your promotions and order of merits. But nothing from the outside world. Sir.

OLIVER

(speak-thinks)

Is there an address printed on my mothers confirmation letter? An address in Cottbus or Goyatz?

Oliver’s attention is caught by a large car dealer compound with big marketing adds “Toll, Top, Topper.” He looks at it with disdain…

SOLDIER STAFF OFFICE 1

Let me check sir. … It’s on letterhead of a Wind shipyard in Goyatz. Sir.

….particularly at a man – JÜRGEN – who appears to be involved with the customers.

OLIVER

On the diploma, is there an address of the high school?

SOLDIER STAFF OFFICE 1

There is an address, in Cottbus, sir.

Oliver watches the man, with a sense of disgust.

OLIVER

Send scan copies to my army mail address. And prepare them as hardcopies, I will call and give you an address for landmail too. Copy.

SOLDIER STAFF OFFICE 1

Will send scans via email now and prepare landmail, sir. You will provide an address tomorrow, sir.

OLIVER

Copy that. And have them confirmed or stamped by an authorized or officer. Thank you

SOLDIER STAFF OFFICE 1

Yes, sir.

Oliver hangs up. Disheartened, Oliver looks at Jürgen and the car dealer compound.

OLIVER

Will not work in this shit whole.

Oliver contemplates his next steps

OLIVER

Worth a try

Oliver turns away form the car dealership.

EXT. IN FRONT OF SHIPYARD WIND – DAY

Oliver gets out of the rented car. He walks and rings a bell at the closed gate.

A Man looks around the corner of the big shipyard hall.

SIGGI

We are closed. Family reasons. Please call Saturday.

OLIVER

(shouts back)

Siggi! It’s me. Oliver

Siggi does not react, turns the corner, off ….. Oliver is not in his toolbox.

OLIVER

Oliver Wind. C’mon.

…

SIGGI

Jessus Maria, Oliver. Baby Oliver? I am coming.

Siggi re appears.

The gate begins to open automatically. Siggi appears running.

Siggi hugs Oliver instantly, tears running down his face.

SIGGI

Oh my God, Oliver I am so sorry. Your dad, he was always such a nice fellow. And my boss. And …

OLIVER

Siggi. Yes, he was a good boss. And a strong boss.

Oliver creates a bit of a distance between the two guys. Siggi looks at im.

SIGGI

For how long haven’t I seen you, years, no?

OLIVER

Many years. Eighteen to be precise.

Oliver looks around

OLIVER

.. and many things have happened since, I can tell.

SIGGI

We are quite big yes. Not only repairing, we are mainly in house boats now.

OLIVER

My father hated house boats. Shit houses for tourists he called them.

SIGGI

I know, but house boats sell well. and for good prices. We deliver them to Potsdam or even Berlin. Customers paying up to half million.

OLIVER

(surprised)

Really?

SIGGI

Yep. Your father was the boss but he focused on the big boats and yachts. And me on the houseboats. I brought more workers from Poland. Good business. I was surprised he decided to sell.

OLIVER

The shipyard is sold?

SIGGI

I don’t know. Your mum said no, he said yes. They discussed for weeks. I don’t know. This went on and on.

OLIVER

(turns interrogator)

Ok Siggi. Can you tell me the whole story? What happened to my dad?

Siggi presses the remote, the gate begins to close

SIGGI

Common, I show you. There is not much of a story

Together they walk towards buildings at the lakeside

EXT. SHIPYARD – YACHT & SAILING CLUB – DAY

Oliver appear between typical white buildings of a private sailing club.

Siggi leads Oliver towards the jetties

SIGGI

He asked me if and how I would continue with the house boats in case he would retire. I told him I couldn’t buy a share of the company but he was fine with it; it would just have new owners.

OLIVER

He said who? Did they show up?

SIGGI

I never met them. Nor did he said who.

OLIVER

And my mum?

SIGGI

She was against it. Last thing was, she requested to divide the shipyard in the will, he would do what he wants, she would keep her part. …For you.

OLIVER

Me? The shipyard. No way.

Siggi walks a jetty, two thirds out he shows Oliver around.

SIGGI

This is where the accident happened, police says.

OLIVER

What happened here?

SIGGI

He was…. They say probably…Do you need to hear this, really?

OLIVER

…. Yes.

SIGGI

(swallows)

He fell from a ladder,.. broke both legs before he slipped into the lake. Unfortunately the ladder fell on top of him, hit him on the head, made him dizzy. Trying to stay afloat, he must have tangled with the ladder…. And drowned only a meter away from the jetty.

OLIVER

Nobody around?

SIGGI

The club is closed on Tuesday’s. At the shipyard Mondays and Tuesdays are our days off. He was alone, why , Jesus knows.

Oliver looks around, his brain takes picture. The jetty, the boats. A few lamppost with lights and a garland with colored light bulbs. While he is looking around, Siggi recognizes a boat coming in

CLARICE

Hey, can you assist please?

A midsized nice motorboat, driven single handed by Clarice.

She manages to steer the boat slowly alongside to the jetty and wrap the stern rope around one of the posts.

Siggi assist with the bow rope

CLARICE jumps on the jetty,

identifies herself

CLARICE

Hey there, thank you for a hand, appreciated. Are you Siggi?

SIGGI

Yes, Madam….

CLARICE

Siggi, my father and I we would like express our gratitude and say sorry that Wind shipyard has lost such a great …

SIGGI

Maybe better tell the son?

Clarice switches tone and style – a real hydra

CLARICE

O? … uh, I am sorry.. you are Harry’s son? …I am so sorry, I didn’t know

Oliver well remembers what she said a few hours ago to Uncle Hans.

CLARICE

You are Oliver, Oli?, Right?

Clarice walks towards Oliver, offers her hand for a handshake, then decides to hug Oliver.

CLARICE

I am soo sorry. I wish you all the strength you will need.

Clarices unhugs herself from almost no reaction, and offers her hand again

CLARICE

I am Clarice, your cousin Clarice… Wind-Feuer.

OLIVER

Oh, cousin Clarice? Must have been a while we met.

CLARICE

Ah, not more than 15-16 years. Maybe.

OLIVER

Maybe 18. But my mum told me here and there over the phone how pretty you become.

CLARICE

Aunt Freddie? Yes, she had so much fun pulling my leg. Please say high to her…or better why don’t you both come over. My dad will certainly be glad to …

OLIVER

Thank you. But …

CLARICE

No, I insist. I am sure my mother wants me to insist, her sister be treated well.

OLIVER

Aunt Freddie … (has to bite and clears his throat) .. my mother. died this morning.

Clarice stops in her motions, prepared to speak, stares at Oliver.

SIGGI

(hands over mouth)

Jessus Maria. That ain’t true. Jessus. What are you saying, Oliver?

Clarice looks at Siggi, back at Oliver

CLARICE

(tears dwell but don’t flow)

My Aunt died? What? When ? How? This morning. What happened?

OLIVER

(no tears, coarse voice)

She was found in her bed, early morning by police. Neighbors called because of a clashing window in the wind.

SIGGI

(deep emotional)

Only one day after?

CLARICE

Does my mum know? …. Guess not. Must call her. I don’t want her to hear it from Swiss police.

Clarice jumps back on her boat, revs the engine. Siggi helps with the bow rope. Clarice uses engine and steern rope to turn around.

Oliver watches her depart, CLARICE fumbling earpieces into her ear. Siggi wraps an arm around Oliver.

SIGGI

Only one day and she follows him? I am so sorry Oli.

Frozen in time and emotion Oliver – no tears – has no ida what to think, who to believe, what actually happens.

He kind of wakes up….checks his watch and realizes the time.

OLIVER

I need to go back to town, my mother made an appointment for this afternoon.

They walk back on the jetty

SIGGI

You should return the rental in town. I’ll bring you dads car tomorrow. No need to pay for a car.

OLIVER

Shall do, Thank you Siggi.

SIGGI

What ever you need.

Oliver turns and checks the jetty again with a thoughtful look.

INT. OFFICE – NOTARY WAITING ROOM – DAY

Oliver enters the room, still in his dune jacket approaches the secretary who looks at her wrist watch.

SECRETARY NOTARY

It’s after four, we don’t take appointments this time of the day.

OLIVER

Excuse me, yes. I am here on behalf of my mother, Friedericke Wind.

SECRETARY NOTARY

You cannot be her “on her behalf”. She has requested a personal appointment with Dr. Nebel. And ..

OLIVER

.and it will stay personal. Please tell Dr. Nebel, her son is asking to see him.

Please.

SECRETARY NOTARY

I don’t think he has time, he is in an appointment.

Oliver looks at his watch.

OLIVER

Yes, with my mother. Since six minutes. Tell him I am sorry for being late and that I will be patiently waiting in his waiting room.

The secretary is surprised by this attitude, walks back to her desk.

She looks into the semi-connected waiting room.

This soldier in his sand dune combat gear has leaned back, closed his eyes and doing nothing.

She peeks again. Unchanged. She gets up and walks into the notary’s study.

TIME CUT:

NOTARY NEBEL

What is it you are asking for? Your mother is not in my office.

Oliver opens his eyes and gets up. He has spoken with so many people the last hours. He’s had it.

OLIVER

My mother died. Last night, this early morning.

And looks for the reaction. The notary’s body language speaks, the notary does not.

Notary Nebel looks Oliver in the eyes.

NOTARY NEBEL

In my office, please.

He turns and walks.

NOTARY NEBEL

Mrs. Singer, and a clients warrant for Mr.Oliver Wind.

Oliver follows the notary. Turns

OLIVER

And no condolences?

Closes door.

INT. OFFICE – NOTARY STUDY – DAY

Oliver closes second door.

NOTARY NEBEL

This city is so fucked up.

Oliver surprised

OLIVER

No condolences either.

NOTARY NEBEL

I told her yesterday, to leave town for a couple of days. But she wouldn’t listen.

It’s getting weird, Oliver takes a deep breath … Knock on the door.

NOTARY NEBEL

Yes

Secretary comes in, puts the two pager in front of Nebel and leaves.

Oliver is about to speak, the notary lift his hand with his fist clenched.

Second door closes.

NOTARY NEBEL

You must have many questions, I am sure. Therefore I suggest you let me tell you what I am allowed to tell you. And after that we’ll see which questions I may answer. Does that sound?

OLIVER

Might be a good short cut.

Oliver sits opposite Notary Nebel.

NOTARY NEBEL

Well then. Let me start with a short cut too.

Do you know the expression platonic lover, Oliver?

OLIVER

Go on.

NOTARY NEBEL

I was at your house yesterday evening until eleven or so. After what happened the day before …..

Fade

INT. OFFICE – NOTARY – DAY

The door opens from the study, notary Nebel walks out with Oliver.

NOTARY NEBEL

Please stay in contact with me or ..(turns to his secretary, stressing it).. with my office.

He turns again

NOTARY NEBEL

Mrs. Singer, hand me the envelope we signed yesterday with Mrs. Wind.

Secretary Singer opens a cabinet and selects from files.

NOTARY NEBEL

… there are way more details that I am not entitled to speak about before the will is opened to the family.

I urge you yet, to stay for the time being, I will send out the invitations and announcement first thing tomorrow.

Secretary returns with an envelope, hands it, Nebel opens it and puts it on the table.

NOTARY NEBEL

Please sign here…. And here.

OLIVER

What is this?

NOTARY NEBEL

Once you signed, it will be a fully notarized Power of attorney, signed by your mother yesterday afternoon.

This time Oliver is really stunned.

EXT. OFFICE – NOTARY – DAY

Notary Nebel lets Oliver out. Oliver still in combat and piece of paper in his hand.

NOTARY NEBEL

Please stay. And dig. Some of your questions will be sorted before the funerals.

END OF ACT 3

ACT 4: BRAWL & SEX

EXT. LAKE DISTRICT – HIGHWAY – DAY

DRONE:

Oliver’s rented car in a nice landscape of the Lake District.

SOUND ONLY: CAR DOOR IS SHUT, STEPS WALKING AWAY

INT. GOYATZ POLICE STATION – DAY

Oliver approaches the high bar with a police officer behind it.

OLIVER

Hi. My name is Oliver Wind, son of Harry Wind…

Oliver takes out his military ID and puts it next to the PoA.

OLIVER

…who had a lethal accident three days ago in the Yacht Club.

POLICE OFFICER 1

(looks Oliver up and down)

And you are here for a war or so? Is this a loaded weapon, sir?

The police officer has his hand to his own handweapon. Oliver had these looks all day long, inhales to stay calm, points at a line on his ID

OLIVER

And I am entitled to carry it. I flew in this morning. From Afghanistan.

POLICE OFFICER 1

From … the Afghanistan War?

OLIVER

Yes, Camp Marmal, in case this sounds familiar. And I would like to talk to the officer in charge about the accident.

The Officer looks at the military ID

POLICE OFFICER 1

We don’t see these here often… actually it’s the first I see ever. Don’t you have some different document? Like personal ID?

OLIVER

We don’t carry other IDs in war zones as a matter of fact.

Officer looks into PoA.

POLICE OFFICER 1

Hmh….Hmh. This PoA is for your mothers business not your fathers. I doubt it is valid for this case.

OLIVER

(inhales again)

My mother passed this morning. You can check with Cottbus homicide. Would actually be good, cause they don’t know about my fathers accident.

As my mother was the only widow of my father means I am in charge now, right?

That is too much of information at the same time. The police officer walks away.

POLICE OFFICER 1

Please wait.

TIME CUT:

POLICE OFFICER 2

That sounds unusual

OLIVER

Sir, is that a question?

POLICE OFFICER 2

Yes.

OLIVER

Which part? Sounds or unusual?

POLICE OFFICER 2

Sir, can we please stay civilized and polite.

OLIVER

Look. I heard all day I need a proof of authorisation. Here it is. A Power of attorney. Please, I request …. politely .. to know if this authorizes me to hear details of my fathers accident. Do I?

POLICE OFFICER 2

We don’t know you. But probably yes.

OLIVER

Have you been here 18 years ago?

POLICE OFFICER 2

No

OLIVER

You?

POLICE OFFICER 1

No

OLIVER

See. I have left 18 years ago. Until then I was here with my parents almost every day. Therefore it has no meaning. What do you know about the accident?

POLICE OFFICER 2

It was an accident. I don’t want sound rude but the club was closed, your father slipped, fell, entangled with the ladder, drowned.

OLIVER

That is what’s on file?

POLICE OFFICER 2

Indeed

OLIVER

Would you please write down for me who and where I can find the prosecutor in charge. And the morgue where my father is.

POLICE OFFICER 2

Prosecutor? Why?

OLIVER

Because I will file for an autopsy.

POLICE OFFICER 2

Ok. But there was nothing, just an accident.

He pulls his military ID again out,

OLIVER

I understand your point of view. and it’s nothing personal guys

shows the officer a detail.

OLIVER

See this. I am police too. We are kind of colleagues, and I have a different point of view.

Officer 1 hands Oliver a piece of paper.

POLICE OFFICER 2

We are not colleagues. From what I know, MP manages traffic and checks that soldiers go to bed without being too drunk or loud.

OLIVER

Thank you (turns) Like you manage traffic and check pubs closing on time, right?

Oliver leaves.

OLIVER

Only that you do not manage one hundred percent educated killers.

Make sure you give the morgue a correct notice in writing that I will be back tomorrow.

EXT./ INT. CAR/ LAKE DISTRICT -View at SHIPYARD – SUNSET / BLUE HOUR

Oliver drives by the lake. He stops the car.

On the opposite lakeside is the yacht club and the shipyard in sun down. Oliver just stares. Other pictures in his head than what he sees. No tears.

Suddenly he opens the door and vomits.

Oliver gets out of the car and starts kicking and fighting trees.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

Oliver punches in a number into his smart phone, starts driving.

PETRA

Homicide Cottbus, Miller speaking.

OLIVER

Oliver Wind here. Where can we meet?

PETRA

You found authorization?

OLIVER

Yes, Power of attorney, notarized. I would like you hand me the keys to the family’s house.

PETRA

So it’s not a crime scene anymore? Glad to hear that.

OLIVER

It’s a crime scene more than ever, and I am happy to fill you in.

PETRA

We can meet tomorrow. I am out to a different crime scene, a real one. Tomorrow ten in the police Headquarter, homicide, 2nd floor.

OLIVER

No, I would like to …

PETRA

Other than you, I am working, not hallucinating. Tomorrow, ten.

Hangs up on him.

EXT. CAR RENTAL COTTBUS – NIGHT

Oliver throws the car keys into the night-box, picks up his backpack.

Oliver walks tired and angry, ponders his options. He triggers his earpiece.

OLIVER

(into headset)

Hey, show me simple hotels nearby

Oliver pulls the phone and looks on the map.

Oliver turns and walks into a side street. Walks.

Oliver sees a nightlife pub BACK SALON.

OLIVER

BACK SALON, really.

INT. BACK SALON – NIGHT

Oliver among a few guests, calm.

He sits at a table across the bar. A glass of beer on the table.

Marie 26ish, attractive, tattooed on one arm, walks over checks over the bar, Oliver’s glass is almost empty.

MARIE

Another one, soldier?

OLIVER

Yes, in uniform two beer rule is on.

MARIE

Two beer rule? Certainly not known to many around here. Is up and coming.

New guests arrive, walk past Marie and greet.

TOUGH GUY 1

Whats up, Marie? Half empty tonight.

MARIE

It’s football tonight. And we have no streamer.

TOUGH GUY 1

Four tanks on my neck.

MARIE

Coming. (turns to Oliver) See?

The four guys begin to play of dart, having fun.

In one corner three guys are in an excited debate.

In one booth a guy is heavily working to impress his target girl for the night.

Oliver takes it all in, he shakes his head from time to time, obviously thinking about stuff.

The dart guys squeak. A dart arrow glides over the floor, stops near to Oliver’s foot.

TOUGH GUY 1

Sorry man, sergeant. It bumped backwards

OLIVER

No problem, things happen.

Tough guy walks back, they play.

Oliver watches how one guy throws towards the dart and another one throws his dart hiddenly backwards.

Another guy walks to Oliver.

TOUGH GUY 2

Sorry, again it bumped.

OLIVER

Yes sometimes a dartboard seem the be full of metal.

TOUGH GUY 2

You wanna play with us man? It’s one beer per round only.

OLIVER

That’s kind. But no, was a long day.

TOUGH GUY 2

Got it, must be back at the barracks

OLIVER

Yes, no. Kinda

TOUGH GUY 2

Yes, no, kind of. You don’t want to talk to me, right?

OLIVER

I’m just tired.

TOUGH GUY 2

Hey guys, he is tired talking to me. While I am paying for his uniform, his gun and his pay check.

TOUGH GUY 1

Really, that’s arrogant, isn’t it.

The other three walk back from the dart to Oliver.

TOUGH GUY 2

Look, we pay taxes for you, you are sitting in your barrack, playing with war toys and rocking your balls.

Oliver gets up

OLIVER

I believe you talking to the wrong man. I left a war zone yesterday afternoon far away from here. I believe it’s ok to be just tired

TOUGH GUY 2

You left a war zone? Uhhh now I am afraid of you. What are you doing in a war zone?

Oliver puts out a hand to his shoulder, to find a space to walk towards the bar.

OLIVER

My team and I watch and protect other soldiers serving in Afghanistan.

TOUGH GUY 1

Protecting other soldiers. Sounds like a luxury job.

OLIVER

Would you mind? Please.

He waves for Marie

OLIVER

I’ll check out my tab.

Marie comes closer

TOUGH GUY 2

You re turning your back on me? That’ll cost you.

Marie put another 8 beer on his tab, the soldier wants to say he his sorry for being disrespectful.

Oliver doesn’t turn

OLIVER

No, the major doesn’t invite these gentlemen.

Now he turns.

OLIVER

In respect of respect. Have one of you served in the army? Anyone a reservist?

TOUGH GUY 2

No. We are not part of your fucked up country. We don’t accept this, we have our own Reich. And own army.

Oliver dawns who he is talking to.

OLIVER

Your own Reich, own army, got it. So who is the highest ranking one here?

Looks at Tough Guy 2. He doesn’t answer.

TOUGH GUY 3

I am, soldier.

OLIVER

Ok, what are your men calling you?

TOUGH GUY 3

Sergeant Major.

OLIVER

Right. Sergeant Major. I request you make your men listen to you.

I am Major of the military police, 2. Greandier Battalion, actually in charge as NATO Response Care. I don’t know if you have ever heard of this. And I don’t care.

We are called the bad guys watching over good guys. We are even taking the trash out when needed.

Now tell your men to step back, let me pay, end this useless provocative conversation and then we walk in two different directions. Like nothing happened. Copy?

Tough Guy 3 looks embarrassed but amused

TOUGH GUY 3

Is there a plan B to your suggestion?

Oliver knows, he can’t talk himself out of this smoothly.

OLIVER

Marie? Marie was it, right?

MARIE

Yep

OLIVER

Would you mind to have my backpack? I am traveling light. And I don’t want my toothbrush broken.

TOUGH GUY 2

You might not need a toothbrush for a while.

Oliver does not even react to this.

OLIVER

(to tough Guy 3)

You want Plan B described in detail or is a brief description enough

TOUGH GUY 3

Brief is enough

OLIVER

All four of you will be fucked up, and no one of you will make it alone to the hospital.

Now let’s get outside or I will charge you afterwards for everything that will be broken in here.

The guys look at each other. Yes. This will be fun.

Oliver hands his backpack over and in the last moment rips one of the zippers open and pulls out a Tonfa.

Turns. With his back to the bar he faces all four guys.

OLIVER

Now would be the best time to end this.

TOUGH GUY 3

Yes Major, Mister special forces shit. But we finish it our way, guys.

And of we go (rough choreography). Two gyus attack Oliver, he responds by hitting one against the throat, backing the other guys arm, kick against his ankle. He turns and twist, away from the bar, breaks the third guys arm and facing Tough Guy 3

OLIVER

Again, you are still up and could drive them to the hospital.

Tough Guy 3 grabs a bottle from the bar and breaks it. One other gets up and attacks again. Oliver throughs TG 3 over, unrests his arm and falls with the bottle into TG2. Done. Up again there its one left who is like a ragging bull. Oliver stops him with the Tonfa, not hitting yet.

Mistake, the other guy left, attacks from behind and strikes Oliver’s arm with a knife.

TOUGH GUY 3

So, Mr. war zone, how about respect now, German soldier pussy?

Oliver has enough, briefly looks at his arm. He unwinds 4-5 fast kick, hits and moves. Done.

OLIVER

Didn’t I tell, we even take the trash out from time to time?

Oliver kneels down on him, his eyes burn. He could easily take the whole day out on this guy, he is close to kill.

Oliver breathes…. and empties the pockets of TG3 and TG2, no other weapons. He grabs a couple of bills, all hundreds out of their pockets, hands them to Marie

OLIVER

For the broken stuff. I’ll keep one, my sand jacket needs to see a seamstress.

And you guys out. Or do you want another round on my dance card.

Marie looks over the bar.

MARIE

Or I call 110.

The other guests leave as inconspicuous as possible

MARIE

Not you, you may stay.

LOVERBOY

Thank you. But no thank you.

He drags his girl outside.

The Tough Guys leave, everybody else too.

Marie passes Oliver, heading for the door

MARIE

And I complain we have no streamer tv?

We have live action.

END OF ACT 4

ACT 5 RESTLESS NIGHT

Marie locks the door and returns. Oliver packs the Tonfa back into his back pack.

MARIE

You are one of the bad guys. Fuck

OLIVER

Is there a small hotel nearby you would recommend?

MARIE

Yes. But let me look at your arm first.

TIME CUT:

Marie sits behind Oliver and putting some med on his wound. Oliver’s sand tee is ripped open at the arm, covered with blood. He is not a muscle guy but very ripped and trained sleek with scars and some tattoos.

OLIVER

…. I arrived last night in Germany, this morning in this town. Mhhh -grins his teeth. –

Marie continues to bandage his upper arm.

MARIE

Hurts a lot?

OLIVER

Yes. A lot is different.

Marie locks eyes with Oliver.

MARIE

Go on, stranger.

OLIVER

Nobody seems to know about the war were in nor like German soldiers … if I tell you everything what happened since, I’d sound like whiner…and you wouldn’t want sex with me.

Marie doesn’t stop

MARIE

Do I want sex with you?

OLIVER

From what I see ….

MARIE

Actually, yes.

OLIVER

So you won’t give ma a suggestion for a Hotel nearby?

MARIE

No

OLIVER

Seriously?

MARIE

Yes

Marie finishes lousily the bandage, comes up and turns in for a kiss

INT. APARTMENT – MARIE – NIGHT

Oliver and Marie bump through the door already kissing

…. and wildly into each others undressing

Marie bumps into the fresh bandaged wound which makes Oliver groan.

MARIE

Don’t be such a whiner, you pussy

OLIVER

I forgot, your the pussy

On they go, they engage in a passionate and wild encounter of sex,

Find joy and temporary solace in each other’s arms.

INT. APARTMENT – MARIE – NIGHT

After their encounter. Marie naked has her head on Olivers naked chest, purring like a cat.

MARIE

How long did you say you had no sex.

OLIVER

Four, four and half month.

MARIE

Can we do this again, like in the morning?

OLIVER

(smiles)

Guess so.

MARIE

(sleeping away)

Mhmmm.

OLIVER

So you still won’t suggest a hotel nearby?

MARIE

Nooo wayyy

Marie sleeps. …..Oliver does not fall asleep. …..He looks at the ceiling. …..He dims the lights.

He is restless. Oliver walks up and down the room.

He gets dressed, about to leave the apartment. Too late, the attack is on it’s way.

OLIVER

(under his breath)

We have to wait for the morning, Mum.

Oliver makes it to an armchair next to the bed. His hands start to tremble. Oliver tries to be silent, his arms and knees, then his head and neck, everything trembles, goes out of control.

Oliver looks at the ceiling, bites not to make noises. The pictures come. Flashy. No story, just flashes of his soldier life, watching others die.

Soldiers being shot, running, falling. Soldier 1 in his arms, the water canteen, the truck exploding,

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>END OF PILOT
Jan Fantl

Member
July 23, 2023 at 8:35 pm in reply to: Lesson 5

Jan’s ACT 4 & 5

WIL: even while speed writing I realized the my act structure was incorrect. I could shove certain elements to EP 102 and keep the Pilot shorter yet entertaining. And I found through this even a better and more introducing end for the main character.

ACT 4: BRAWL & SEX

EXT. LAKE DISTRICT – HIGHWAY – DAY

DRONE:

Oliver’s rented car in a nice landscape of the Lake District.

SOUND ONLY: CAR DOOR IS SHUT, STEPS WALKING AWAY

INT. GOYATZ POLICE STATION – DAY

Oliver approaching the high bar with police officer behind it.

OLIVER

Hi. My name is Oliver Wind, son of Harry Wind.

Oliver takes out his military ID and puts it next to the PoA.

OLIVER

Who had a lethal accident three days ago in the Yacht Club.

POLICE OFFICER 1

(looks Oliver up and down)

And you are here for a war or so?

Oliver had these looks all day long, inhales to stay calm.

OLIVER

I flew in this morning. From Afghanistan.

POLICE OFFICER 1

From … the War Afghanistan?

OLIVER

Yes. And I would like to talk to the officer in charge about the accident.

The Officer looks the military ID

POLICE OFFICER 1

We don’t see these here often… actually iT’s the first I see ever. Don’t you have some different document? Like personal ID?

OLIVER

We don#t carry other IDs in war zones as amatter fo fact.

Officer looks into PoA.

POLICE OFFICER 1

Hmh….Hmh. This PoA is for your morthers business not your fathers. I doubt oit s valid for this case.

OLIVER

(inhales again)

My mother passed this morning. You can check with Cottbus homicide. Would actually be good, cause they don’t know about my fathers passing.

As my mother was the only widow of my father means i am in charge now, right?

That is too much of information at the same time. The police officer walks away.

POLICE OFFICER 1

Please wait.

TIME CUT:

POLICE OFFICER 2

That sounds unusual

OLIVER

Sir, is that a question?

POLICE OFFICER 2

Yes.

OLIVER

Which part? Sounds or unusual?

POLICE OFFICER 2

Sir, can we please stay civlized and polite.

OLIVER

Look. I heard all day I need a PoA, here it is. Please, I request …. Politely .. to know if this authorises me to hear details of my fathers accident. Do I?

POLICE OFFICER 2

We don’t know you. But probably yes.

OLIVER

Have you been here 18 years ago?

POLICE OFFICER 2

No

OLIVER

You?

POLICE OFFICER 1

No

OLIVER

See. I have left 18 years ago. Until then I was here with my parents almost every day. Therefoer it has no meaning. What do you know about the accident?

POLICE OFFICER 2

It was an accident. I don’t want sound rude but the club was closed , your father slipped, fell, entangled with the ladder, drowned.

OLIVER

That is what#s on file?

POLICE OFFICER 2

Indeed

OLIVER

Would you please write down for me who and where I can find the prosecutor in charge. and the morgue where my father is.

POLICE OFFICER 2

Prosecutor? Why?

OLIVER

Because I want to file and request for and autopsy.

POLICE OFFICER 2

Ok. But there was nothing, juzst an accident.

He pulls his military ID again out,

OLIVER

I understand your point of view. and it s nothing personal guys

shows the officer a detail.

OLIVER

See this. I am police too. We are kind of colleagues, and I have a differnt point of view.

Officer 1 hands Oliver a piece of paper.

POLICE OFFICER 2

We are not colleagues. From what I know you are managing traffic and check that soldiers go to bed without being drunk.

OLIVER

Thank you (turns) Like you manage traffic and check pubs closing on time, right?

Oliver leaves

OLIVER

Only that you do not manage one hundred percent educated killers.

Please give the morgue a notice in writing that I will be back tomorrow.

EXT./ INT. CAR/ LAKE DISTRICT -View at SHIPYARD – SUNSET / BLUE HOUR

Oliver drives by the lake. He stops the car.

On the opposite lakeside there is the yact club and the shipyard.

Oliver just stares. Other pictures in his head than what he sees. No tears.

Suddenly he opens the door and vomits.

Oliver gets out of the car and starts kicking and fighting trees.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

Oliver punches in a number into his smart phone, szarts dring.

PETRA

Homicide Cottbus, Miller speaking.

OLIVER

Oliver Wind here. Where can we meet?

PETRA

So you found authorisation?

OLIVER

Yes, Power of attorney, notarized. I would like you hand me the keys to the families house.

PETRA

So it’s not a crime scene anymore? Like to hear that.

OLIVER

It’s a crime scene more tahn ever, and I am happy to fill you in.

PETRA

We can meet tomorrow. I am out to a different crime scene, a real one. Tomnorrow ten in the police Headqueter, homicide, 2nd floor.

OLIVER

No, I would like to …

PETRA

Other than you, I am working, not hallucinating. Towmorrow , ten

Hangs up on him.

EXT. CAR RENTAL COTTBUS – NIGHT

Oliver throws the carkeys into the night-box, picks up his backpack.

Oliver walks tired and angry, ponders his options. He triggers his earpiece.

OLIVER

(into headset)

Hey, show me options of simple hotels nearby

Oliver pulls the phone and looks on the map.

Oliver turns and walks inot a side street. Walks.

Oliver sees a nightlife pub BACK SALON.

OLIVER

BACK SALON, really.

INT. BACK SALON – NIGHT

Oliver finds himself among a few guests, attempts to calm down after this tumultuous day.

Oliver sits at a table across the bar. A glass of beer on the table.

Marie 26ish, attractive, tattooed on one arm, walks over checks from the bar, sees that Oliver’s glass is almost empty.

MARIE

Another one, soldier?

OLIVER

Yes, in uniform two beer rule is one.

MARIE

Sure thing, tank beer is coming.

New guests arrive, walk past Marie and greet.

TOUGH GUY 1

Whats up, Marie? Half empty tonight.

MARIE

It football tonight. And we have no streamer.

TOUGH GUY 1

Four tanks on my neck.

MARIE

Coming

The four guys begin to play of dart, having fun.

In one corner three guys are in an excited debate

In one booth a guy is heavily working to impress his target for the night.

Oliver takes it all in, he shakes his head from time to time, obviously thinking about stuff.

The dart guys squeak. A dart arrow glides over the floor, stops near to Oliver’s foot.

TOUGH GUY 1

Sorry man, sergeant. It bumped backwards

OLIVER

No problem, things happen.

Tough guy walks back, they play.

Oliver watches how one guy throws towards the dart and another one thorws his hiddenly backwards.

Another guy walks to Oliver.

TOUGH GUY 2

Sorry, again it bumped.

OLIVER

Yes sometimes a dartboard seem the be ffull of metal.

TOUGH GUY 2

You wanna play with us?m It’s one beer per round only.

OLIVER

Tht’s kind. But no,,was a long day.

TOUGH GUY 2

Goz it must back to the barracks

OLIVER

Yes, no. Kinda

TOUGH GUY 2

Yes, no, kind of. You don’t want to talk to me right.

OLIVER

I’m just tired.

TOUGH GUY 2

Hey guys, he is tired talking to me. While I am paying for his uniform, his gun and his pay check.

TOUGH GUY 1

Really, that’s arrogant, isn’t it.

The other three walk back from the dart to Oliver.

TOUGH GUY 2

Look, we pay taxes for you, sitting in your barrack, playing with war toys and rocking your balls.

Oliver gets up

OLIVER

I believe you talking to the wrong soldier. I left a war zone yesterday afzernoon. As said I am not arrongant just tired

TOUGH GUY 2

You left a war zone? Uhhh no I am afraid of you. what are you doing in a war zone?

Oliver puts out a hand to find a space to walk towards the bar.

OLIVER

My team and i watch and protect other soldiers serving in Afghanistan.

TOUGH GUY 1

Protecting other soldiers. Sounds like a luxury job.

OLIVER

Would you mind?m Please.

He waves for Marie

OLIVER

I’ll check out my tab.

Marie comes closer

TOUGH GUY 2

You re turning your back on me? That’ll cost you.

Marie put another 8 beer on his tab, the soldier wants to say sorry for being respectles.

Oliver doesn’t turn

OLIVER

No the major doesn’t invite these gentlemen.

Now he turns.

OLIVER

In respect of respect. Have one of you served in the army? Anyone a reservist?

TOUGH GUY 2

No.We are not part of your fucked up country. We don’t accept this, we have our own Reich. And own army.

Oliver dawns who he ois talking to.

OLIVER

Got it. I Got it. So who is the highest rank of you?

Looks at Tough Guy 2. He doesn’t answer.

TOUGH GUY 3

I am, soldier.

OLIVER

Ok, what are your men calling you?

TOUGH GUY 3

Sergeant Major.

OLIVER

Right. Sergeant Major. I request you make your men listen to you.

I am Major of the military police, 2. Greandier Batallion, actually in charge as A NATO Response Care.

We are the bad guys watching over the good guys. We are taking the trash out when we need to.

Now tell your men to step back, let me pay, end this useless provocative conversation and then we walk in two different directions. And nothing happened.

Tough Guy 3 looks embarressed but amused

TOUGH GUY 3

Is there a plan B to it?

Oliver knows, he can’t himself out smoothly.

OLIVER

Marie? Marie was it right?

MARIE

Yep

OLIVER

Would you mind to have my backpack? I am travelling light. And I don’t want my toothbrush demolished.

TOUGH GUY 2

You might not need a toothbrush for a while.

OLIVER

(to tough Gouy 3)

You want Plan B described in detail or is a breif description enough

TOUGH GUY 3

Enough

OLIVER

All four of you will be fucked up, and no one of you will make it alone to the hospital.

Now lets get outside or I will charge you afterwards for everything inside that you broke.

The guys look at each other. Yes. That will be fun.

Oliver hands his backpack over and rips in the last moment one of the zippers open and pulls out a Tonfa.

With his back to the bar he faces all four guys.

OLIVER

Now would be the best time to end this.

TOUGH GUY 3

Yes Major, special forces shit. But we want to finish it our way, guys.

And of we go. Two gyus attack Oliver, he responds by hitting bone against the throat, backing the other uys arm, kick against his ankle. He turns and twist, away from the bar, breaks the third guys arm and facing Tough Guy 3

OLIVER

Again, you are still up and could drive them to the hospital.

Tough Guy 3 grabs a bottle from the bar and breaks it. One other gets up.and Attacks too. Oliver throughs TG 3 over, unrests his arm and falls with the bottle into TG2. Done.Up Again there ios one left who is like a ragging bull. Oliver stops him with the Tonfa, not hitting yet.

Mistake the other guy keft over attcks from behingd and strikes Oliver arm wuth a knife.

Oliver has enough, briefly looks at his arm and unwinds 4-5 fast kick, hits and moves. Done.

Oliver kneels down and empties the pockets of TG3 and TG2, no other weapons. He grabs a couple of bills all hundreds out of their pockets. hands them to MArie

OLIVER

For the broken stuff. I’ll keep one, my sand jacket needs to see a seamstress.

And you guys out. Or want another round on my dance card.

Marie looks over the bar

MARIE

Or I call 110. Even better.

The other guests leave as inconspicuous as possible

MARIE

Not you, you may stay.

LOVERBOY

Thank you. But no thank you.

He drags his girl outside.

The Tough Guys have left, everybody else too.

Marie passes Oliver, heading for the door

MARIE

And I complain we have no streamer tv?

We have live action.

END OF ACT 4

ACT 5

Marie locks the door and returns. Oliver packs the Tonfa back into his back pack.

MARIE

You are one of the bad guys. Fuck

OLIVER

Is there a small hotel nearby you would recommend?

MARIE

Yes. But let me look at your amr first.

TIME CUT:

Marie sits behind Oliver and putting some med on his wound. Oliver Tee is ripped open at the arm, covered with blood. He is not a muscle guy but very well trained, sleak. What we see scars and some tattoes.

OLIVER

…. I arrived last night in Germany, this morning in this town. Mhhh -grins his teeth. –

Marie continues to bandage his upper arm.

MARIE

Hurts a lot?

OLIVER

Yes. A lot is different.

Marie locks eyes with Oliver.

MARIE

Go on, starnger.

OLIVER

I arrive this morning. … And if I tell you everything what happened since, you wouldn’t want sex with me.

Marie doesn’t stop

MARIE

Do I want sex with you?

OLIVER

From what I see

…

MARIE

Actually, yes.

OLIVER

So you wount give ma a suggestion for a Hotel nearby?

MARIE

No

OLIVER

Seriously ?

MARIE

Yes

Marie finishes lousiliy the bandage, comes up and turns in for a kiss

INT. APARTMENT – MARIE – NIGHT

Oliver and Marie bump through the door already kissing

…. and wildly into each others undressing

Marie bumps into the fresh bandaged wound which makes Oliver groan.

MARIE

Don’t be such a pussy

OLIVER

I forgot, your the pussy

On they go, they engage in a passionate and wild encounter of sex,

Finding joy and temporary solace in each other’s arms.

INT. APARTMENT – MARIE – NIGHT

After their encounter. Marie naked has he head on Olivers chest, purring like a cat.

MARIE

How long did you say you had no sex.

OLIVER

Four, four and half month.

MARIE

Can we do that in the morning again

OLIVER

(smiles)

Guess so.

MARIE

(sleeping away)

Mhmmm.

OLIVER

So you still wount suggest a hotel nearby?

MARIE

Nooo wayyy

Marie sleeps. …..Oliver does not fall asleep. …..He looks at the ceiling. …..He dims the lights.

He is restless. Oliver walks up and down the room.

He gets dressed, about to leave the apartment. Too late, the attack is on it’s way.

OLIVER

We have to wait for the morning, Mum.

Oliver manages to sit in an armchair next to the bed. His hands start to tremble.

Oliver tries to be silent, his arms and knees, then his head and neck, everything trembles, goes out of control.

Oliver looks at the ceiling, bites not to make noise. The pictures come back. Flashy. Several. No story , just anecdotes of his soldier life, watching others die.

Soldier 1(scene 1, shot 1) with his canteen, the semi armoured truck exploding, Soldier 1 in his arms.

END OF PILOT
Jan Fantl

Member
July 23, 2023 at 8:31 pm in reply to: Lesson 4

Jan’s ACT 3

WIL:

ACT 3: DOORS SHUT

EXT. IN FRONT OF THE WIND HOME – DAY

Oliver sits in his sand uniform alone on the doorsteps, helpless for the moment, contemplating.

Satellite phone rings.

Oliver pulls the satellite phone, answers it.

OLIVER

Wind.

SPLIT SCREEN OPENS -ZOOM/FACETIME LIKE BOTH ARE ON-SCREEN

BRIGADIER GENERAL

Major Wind. I just popping in to see how you are holding up.

OLIVER

Mr. Brigadier General. Thank you for calling.

BRIGADIER GENERAL

Are you in a private situation?

OLIVER

Yes, sir. I am alone.

BRIGADIER GENERAL

Skip the sirring. Oliver please accept my dearest condolences. I wish for lot of calm and strength for the up coming time. And please say high to your mum and give her my best, will you.

OLIVER

Thank you Paul, but it’s worse than that. My mother passed away too, few hours ago while i was still in the air.

…..Paul says nothing for a couple of seconds.

BRIGADIER GENERAL

You know I, no…. Words are not sufficient. I want you to know …shit. Rest if possible. I have your back when you need me, right?

OLIVER

I appreciate, that’s is good to know. Thank you.

BRIGADIER GENERAL

Is there anything you need right now?

Oliver gets up walks of the premise, towards the car.

OLIVER

I think it was not as peacefully for my mom as the local police sees it. But I need to clear my head first.

BRIGADIER GENERAL

Take it slow, Oliver. We all know what of an excellent investigator you are. Please take it all in before judging. You are in civilist public spheres, things are different. Will you listen to me, Major Wind?

OLIVER

Ay sir, general brigadier, I will. But there is a truth that needs to be uncovered, I can smell, general.

BRIGADIER GENERAL

You will let me know, promised?

OLIVER

Yes, Sir.

BRIGADIER GENERAL

And get you a cell phone, no need to call via satellite.

Oliver hangs up, packs satellite phone into the sand jacket

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – DAY

Oliver looks on screen of smart phone. A map shows how to walk. Oliver looks up, unfamiliar with the buildings of his former home.

INT. RESIDENTS’ REGISTRATION OFFICE – DAY

SUPER: A NUMBER BLINKS

Oliver walks to a desk, shows his military ID.

OLIVER

Hi, I hope you can help me. I just flew in and this my only identification available. I need registration at my parents house, what do I need to fill.

LADY AT REGISTRATION

Sure. Where are you regisitrated currently.

OLIVER

At the barracks address of my regiment. FJR One, 13405 Berlin.

LADY AT REGISTRATION

Have you been registered here in Cottbus as well?

OLIVER

Yes, but that was eighteen years ago. Before I joined the army. Not since.

LADY AT REGISTRATION

Then we have a problem.

She truns towards her screen and types stuff.Oliver Looks at her name tag on her desk, it shows Mrs. Wind.

LADY AT REGISTRATION

Yes. We are duigitizing all paper files and documents. And we progressed into year 2009. I can’t find you.

OLIVER

But then you have my papers?

LADY AT REGISTRATION

No, unfortunatöley. They have been outsourced for digitization.

OLIVER

What else is possible? I see we have the same name. Did you know Friedericke and Harry Wind?

LADY AT REGISTRATION

Freddie? Sure we are from the same family tribe. Her father is my mums cousin. Say hi to them. But then the solution is simple. (starts whispering) Have one of them join you and see me. NAd sighn for you and I’ll register you, right then and there. (she whispers even more) We don’t need to make a big fuzz then, do we?

OLIVER

That actually is the problem. My parents passed away the last days. Nobody to show up here.

The Lady with the name Wind looks at him in pain.

LADY AT REGISTRATION

OMG, I am so sorry. Please accept my condolences for this hard situation in life.

…. But then I am afraid I have no solution to offer.

Oliver looks stnned.

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – DAY

Oliver on the steps of the local registration office. He puls out his new smartphone and types a number from the top of head.

OLIVER

Major Wind, FJR One, 3456789. Staff office 1 please. ….. Holding.

Listens.

OLIVER

Yes, hi. Major Wind, FJR One, 3456789.

I do need your assistance please. I have been released of duties for short period of time. I am in germany and need you to check my files. Is there a copy of certificate of birth? Or my last address before joining the army? Please check for anything to document where I lived before 2002.

Listens.

OLIVER

Yes, I understand. Check with the commeanding officer of staff office. And when in doubt, he shouzld double check with Briagdier General Paul Flut in Hannover HQ.

OLIVER

I appreaciate your assistance, please make it urgent. Do you see the number .on Your screen. Yes. This is while I am in Germany. Thank you Master Sergeant Baum.

Walking the street, Oliver recognizes a man – Uncle Hans(not sure) – on the open air terrace of a restaurant next to the town hall. The man sots opposite an attractive young woman (32ish) in business apparel.

Oliver sits on by an ugly monument on the sqaure, pulls his satellite phone and types the number into the smart phone. Dials.

He sees in the distance UNCLE HANS grabbing the phone and pick up.

SPLIT SCREEN OPENS -ZOOM/FACETIME LIKE BOTH ARE ON-SCREEN

UNCLE HANS

Wind?

OLIVER

Yes, me too. Oliver Wind.

UNCLE HANS

Oliver. I am so sorry about Harry. What a terrible accident. Where are you? Still in Afgnanostan?

Oliver packs the satellite phone. He gets up and starts to walk towards the terrace of the restaurant where his uncle, HANS WIND,sits.

OLIVER

No, I just arrived in Cottbus. I tzhought I call you, his brother first and we can talk …

UNCLE HANS

O yes. Absolutely. The right idea.

Oliver closes in on Uncle Hans

UNCLE HANS

It’s just. I am not in town today. .. I am on a business trip and will be back tomorrow.

Oliver looks irritated at the man speking clearly into the phone while looking at the young lady. Oliver stops

UNCLE HANS

You must ne tired. Why don’t you take a rest. And be with your mother, I m sure she will need you in these tough hours. Surely she feel a bit better, you holding her.

Oliver realizes he obvious ly doesn’t know the actual. Situation.

UNCLE HANS

…and you come by tomorrow. And we’ll talk all things through. Funeral and so.

OLIVER

Ok, thank you. I will call tomorrow.

Oliver decides and walks by the terrace to see if Uncle Hans trpa hilmslef in his lies. Uncle Hans doesn#t look at the people passing by. He Addresses the young woman -CLARICE- .

UNCLE HANS

(O.S.)

He is already in town.

CLARICE

Then we have not much time left.

Oliver can hear their converstaion

CLARICE

I will discuss with my father next steps.

UNCLE HANS

Let’s do that. Urgently

Oliver walk out of listening in distance. Qustion marks on his face.

INT. REGISTRY OFFICE – DAY

Oliver meets with the registrar.

OLIVER

Thank you for seeing on such short notice. The situtation to sort is as follows. My parents passed awaywithin the last couple of hours. I have no access to their home and I would need a copy of my birth certificate. What do I have to do?

REGISTRAR

Please accept my condolences for your loss. Have you parents lived here in Cottbus?

OLIVER

Yes. Fredericke and Harry Wind.

REGISTRAR

No way. I am so sorry. Then you are Oliver. I am so so sorry. What happened?

OLIVER

I don’t know. My father had an accident two days ago and my mother was found … dead, this morning in her bedroom.

Without papers it seems tough to get more informations here, as ,long it’s not documented I am the only child alive.

REGISTRAR

You are. You older brother has been declared passed in missing, 10 or eleven years ago.

But your situation sounds indeed difficult. What papers have you got.

Oliver sighs, he has exploianed this a couple of times already.

OLIVER

Soldiers carry no official paers on them other than their military ID. And I live in the barracks when in Germany and therefore registered nowhere outside.

REGISTRAR

I have a solution for you. You come back with Harry brother, Hans or your grandmother Granny Lehgner and one testifies you are you and I will expedite a Birth certifivate for you.

OLIVER

is that the simplest way?

REGISTRAR

Yes, and I am already bending the rules there.

OLIVER

And it will take how long?

REGISTRAR

A couple of days. Two weeks tops.

Oliver looks stunned.

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – DAY

Oliver takes the ringing smart phone out of his pocket.

CORONER’S CLERK

Mr. Wind? Mr. Oliver Wind.

OLIVER

Speaking.

CORONER’S CLERK

This is regarding your call this morning. You left messages about your mother’s body and her whereabouts.

OLIVER

Yes. Have you spoken with your boss?

CORONER’S CLERK

Yes. And he asked me to give you the following infor,ation and message.

Do not call again unless you have some kind of authorisation or pwer of attorney.

OLIVER

Listen. I did explain …

The call is abruptly ended

Frustrated, Oliver takes a deep breath, shakes his head.

OLIVER

This city, friendly as was

NT. BANK – DAY

Oliver sits opposite a BANK CLERK, whose name tag again bears the name Wind, refuses to provide any information without a valid power of attorney.

BANK CLERK WIND

(repeating)

I am sorry to sound repetitive yet as said, the policy of the bank is individually set a bit differently since a few years

The power of attorney needs not only be signed by the both of you. It has to be notarized as well.

Conflict:

OLIVER

And if I can’t present it. What will happen then?

BANK CLERK WIND

We will need to wait for the Totenschein and the Sz´tandeasmtlich Erklärung who is or are authorized to Nachlassverwalter. He she or them will be in charge to request the bank to act.

OLIVER

Nad til then? What about standing orders, direct debits? Other responsibilities of my parents.

BANK CLERK WIND

I am not entitled to speak about this in detail but rest assured, I will be taking care that things continue smoothly.

OLIVER

But you are family too, correct? Shouldn’t that be overlooked by somebody else?

BANK CLERK WIND

(gets up)

Mr.Wind, Please, again accept my deepest condolences for your losses but there is actually nothing more to discuss. Don’t misundersatnd me yet things are regulated and my hands a re tied.

EXT. COTTBUS STREET – NEAR TOPPER CAR COMPOUND – DAY

Oliver walks and grabs the ringing phone

a call from the military HQ,

OLIVER

Major Wind

SOLDIER STAFF OFFICE 1

Staff Offie One, Unteroffizier Keller, sir. We spoke earlier.

OLIVER

Yes, Unteroffizier. You have intel for me?

SOLDIER STAFF OFFICE 1

Yes, sir. Actually no soir. We checked all your files. There is no home office registration nor other documents. There are your signed application to join the army; later co signed by your mother and your high school diploma. Nothing more.

OLIVER

Nothing else?

SOLDIER STAFF OFFICE 1

No, sir. There are all your diplomas and course certificates within the army and your promotions and order of merits. But nothing from the outside world. Sir.

OLIVER

(speak-thinks)

Is there an address printed on my mothers confirmation letter? An address in Cottbus or Goyatz?

Oliver’s attention is caught by a large car dealer compound with big marketing adds “Toll, Top, Topper.” He looks at it with disdain,

SOLDIER STAFF OFFICE 1

Let me check sir. … It’s on letterhead of a Wind shipyard in Goyatz. Sir.

particularly at a man – JÜRGEN – who appears to be involved with the customers.

OLIVER

On the diploma, is there an address or the name of the high school only?

SOLDIER STAFF OFFICE 1

There is an address, in Cottbus , sir.

Oliver watches the man, with a sense of disgust.

OLIVER

Send then a scan copies to my BW mail address. And prepare it as hardcopies,I will call and give you an address to send the snailmail to. Copy.

SOLDIER STAFF OFFICE 1

Will send scans via email now and prepare landmail, sir. You will provide an address tomorrow, sir.

OLIVER

Copy that. And have them confirmed/ stamped by the authorized or commanding officer. Thank you

SOLDIER STAFF OFFICE 1

Yes, sir.

Oliver hangs up. Disheartened,Oliver looks around, residents passing by

OLIVER

Will not work in this shit whole.

Oliver contemplates his next steps

OLIVER

Worth a try

Oliver turns away form the car dealership.

EXT. IN FRONT OF SHIPYARD WIND – DAY

Oliver gets out of car, branded as a renteed car. He walks and rings a bell at the closed gate.

A Man looks around the corner of the big shipyard hall.

SIGGI

We are closed. Family reasons. Please call Saturday.

OLIVER

(shouts back)

Siggi! It’s me. Oliver

Siggi does not react ….. Oliver is not in his toolbox.

…

OLIVER

Oliver Wind. C’mon.

SIGGI

Jessus Maria, Oliver. Baby Oliver? I am coming.

Siggi nidsappears.

The gate begins to open automatically. Siggi appears running.

Siggi hugs Oliver instantly, tears running down his face.

SIGGI

Oh my God, Oliver I am so sorry. Your dad, he was always such a nice fellow. And boss. And …

OLIVER

Siggi. Yes, he was a good boss. And a strong boss.

Oliver creates a bit of a distrance between the two guys. Siggi looks ath im.

SIGGI

For how long haven#t I seen you, years, no?

OLIVER

Many years. Eighteen to be precise.

Oliver looks around

OLIVER

.. and many things have happened since, I can tell.

SIGGI

We are quite big yes. Not only repairing, we are manily in house boats now.

OLIVER

My father hted house boats. Shit for tourists he called them.

SIGGI

I know, but house boats sell well. and for good prices. We deliver them to Potsdam or Berlin, people paying up to half million.

OLIVER

(surprised)

Really?

SIGGI

Yep. your father was the boss but he focused on the big boats and yachts. And I on the houseboats. I brought more people from Poland. Good buisness. I was surprised he decided to sell.

OLIVER

The shipyard is sold?

SIGGI

I don’t know. Your mum said no, he said yes. They discussed for weeks. I don’t know. Thi swent on for weeks.

OLIVER

(turns interrogator)

Ok Siggi. I haven’t talked with my mum for quite a while. We had situations in Afghanistan. Can you tell me the whole story? What happened to my dad.

Siggi presses the remote, the gate gbegins to close

SIGGI

Common, I show you. There is not much of a story

Together they walk towards buildings at the lakeside

EXT. SHIPYARD – YACHT & SAILING CLUB – DAY

Oliver appear between white buildlings typical for a private sailing club.

Siggi leads Oliver towards the jetties

SIGGI

He asked me if and how I would contnue with the house boats in case he would retire. I told him I couldn’t pay him a share but he was fine with it; it would just have new owners.

OLIVER

He said who? Did they show up?

SIGGI

I found that weird , they never showed up. Nor did he said who.

OLIVER

And my mum?

SIGGI

She was against it. Last thing was, she requested to divide it in the will, he would do what he wants, she would keep her part. …For you.

OLIVER

Me? The shipyard. No way.

Siggi walks a jetty, zwo third out he shows Oliver around.

SIGGI

This is where the accident happened, police says.

OLIVER

What happened here?

SIGGI

He was…. They say probably…Do you need to hear this, really?

OLIVER

…. Yes.

SIGGI

(swallows)

He fell from a ladder,.. broke both legs before he slipped into the lake. Unfortuntely the ladder fell on top of him, hit him on the head, made him dizzy. Trying to stay afloat, he must have tangled with the ladder…. And drowned only a meter away from the jetty.

OLIVER

Nobody around?

SIGGI

The club is closed on Tuedays. the shipyard MOn and TUE has our days off after the weekendds. He was alone, why, god knows.

Oliver looks around, the jetty, the boats. There a a few lamppost with lights and bwtween the a garland with light bulbs. While he is looking around, Siggi recognizes a boat coming in

CLARICE

Hey, can you assist pleasae?

A midsized nice motorboat, driven single handed by Clarice.

She manages to steer the boat slowly longside to the jetty and wrap the steern rope aorng one of the posts.

Siggi assist with the bow rope

CLARICE jumps on the jetty,

identifies herself

CLARICE

Hey there, thank you for a hand, appreciated. Are you Siggi?

SIGGI

Yes, Madam….

CLARICE

Siggi, ma father and I we would like exprss our gratitude and say sorry that Wind shipyard has lost such a great …

SIGGI

Maybe better tell the son?

Clarice switsches tone and style – a real hydra

CLARICE

O? … uh, I am sorry.. you are Harry’s son? …I am so sorry, I didn’t know

Oliver well remembers what she said a few hours ago to uncle Hans, he might even believe her.

CLARICE

You are Oliver, Oli?, Right?

Clarice walks towards Oliver, offers her hand for a handshake, then decides to hug Oliver.

CLARICE

I am soo sorry. I wish for all the strentgh you will need.

Clarices unhugs herself from almots no reaction, and offers her hand again

CLARICE

I am Clarice, your cousin Clarice… Feuer.

OLIVER

Oh, cousin Clarice? Must have been a while we met.

CLARICE

Ah, not more than 15-16 years. Maybe.

OLIVER

Maybe 18. But my mum told me here and there how pretty you become.

CLARICE

Aunt Freddie? Yes, she had so much fun pulling my leg together with my mum. Please say high to her…or better why don’t you both come over. My dad will certainly be glad to ? …

OLIVER

Thank you. But …

CLARICE

No, Insist. I am sure my mother wants me to insist, her sister be treated well.

OLIVER

Aunt Freddie … (has to bite and clears his throat) .. my mother. died this morning.

Clarice stopped in her motions, prepared to speak, stares at Oliver.

SIGGI

(hands over mouth)

Jessus Maria. That aint true. Jessus

Clarice looks at Siggi, back at Oliver

CLARICE

(tears dwell but don’t flow)

My Aunt died? What? When ? How? This morning. What happened?

OLIVER

(no tears, coarse voice)

She was found in her bed, early morning by police. Neighbors called because of a clashing window in the wind.

SIGGI

(deep emotional)

Only one day after?

CLARICE

Does my mum know? …. Guess not. Must go back, must call her. I don’t want her to hear from French police.

Clarice jumps back on her boat, revs the engine. Siggi helps with the bow roap. Clarice uses engine and steern rope to turn around.

Oliver watches her depart, her mobile to her ear. Siggi wraps an arm around Oliver.

SIGGI

Only one day and she follows him? I am so sorry Oli.

Frozen in time and emotion Oliver – no tears -has no ida what to think, who to believe, what is actually happening.

He kinda wakes up….checks the time and realizes the time.

OLIVER

I need to go back to town, my mother made an appointment for this afternoon. Curious what this is about.

They walk back on the jetty

SIGGI

You should return the rental in town. I’ll bring you dads car tomorrow. No need to payr a car.

OLIVER

Shall do, Thank you Siggi.

SIGGI

What ever you need.

Oliver turns and checks the jetty again with a thoughtful look.

INT. OFFICE – NOTARY WAITING ROOM – DAY

Oliver enters the room, still in his dune jaket approaches the secretary who looks at her wrist watch.

SECRETARY NOTARY

It’s after four, we don’t take appointments this time opf the day.

OLIVER

Excuse me, yes. I am here on behalf of my mother. Friedericke Wind.

SECRETARY NOTARY

You cannot be her “on behalf”. She has requested a personal appointment with Dr. Nebel. And ..

OLIVER

.and it will stay personal. Please tell Dr. Nebel, her son is asking to see him.

Please.

SECRETARY NOTARY

I don’t think he has time, he is in an appointment.

Oliver looks at his watch.

OLIVER

Yes, with my mother. Since six minutes. Tell him I am sorry for being late and that I will be patiently be waiting in his waiting room.

The secretary is suprised by this attitude, walsk back to her desk.

She looks into the semi-conneczed waiting room.

This soldier in his sand dune combat gear has leanded back, closed his eyes and doing nothing.

She peeks again. Unchanged. She gets up and walks into the notary’s study.

NOTARY NEBEL

What is it you are asking for? Your mother is not in the office.

Oliver opens his eyes and gets up.

And I believe we have no business to discuss

Oliver has spoken with so many people the last hours. He’s had it.

OLIVER

My mother died. Last night, this early morning.

He is looking at the reaction. Of the notary only. His body language speaks, the notary does nbot.

Notary Nebel looks Oliver in the eyes.

NOTARY NEBEL

In my office, please.

He turns and walks.

NOTARY NEBEL

Mrs. Singer, and a clients warrant for Mr.Oliver Wind.

Oliver follows the notary. Turns

OLIVER

And no condolences?

Closes door.

INT. OFFICE – NOTARY STUDY – DAY

Oliver closes second dorr.

NOTARY NEBEL

This city is so fucked up.

Oliver surprised

OLIVER

No condolences either.

NOTARY NEBEL

I told her yesterday, to leave twon for a couple of days. But she wouldn’t listen.

It’s getting weird, Oliver takes a deep breath … Knock on the door.

NOTARY NEBEL

Yes

Secretay comes in, puts the two pager infnot of Nebel and leaves.

Oliver is about to speak, the notary lift his hand with his fist clenched.

Second door closes.

NOTARY NEBEL

You must have many questions, I am sure. Therefore I suggest you let me tell you what I am allowed to tell you. And after that we’ll see which questions I may answer. Does that sound?

OLIVER

Might be a good short cut.

Oliver sits opposite Notary Nebel.

NOTARY NEBEL

Well then. Let me start woith a short cut too.

Do you know the expression platonic lover, Oliver?

OLIVER

Go on.

NOTARY NEBEL

I was at your house yesterday evening until eleven or so. After what happened the day before …..

Fade

INT. OFFICE – NOTARY – DAY

The door opens from the study, notary Nebel walks out with Oliver.

NOTARY NEBEL

Please stay in contact with me or ..(turns to secretary, stressing it).. with my office.

He turns again

NOTARY NEBEL

Mrs. Singer, hand me the envelope we signed yesterday with Mrs. Wind.

Secretary Singer opens a cabinet and selects from files.

NOTARY NEBEL

… there a way more details that I am not entitled before the will is opened to the family.

I ensure you, make sure to stay for the time being, I will send out the invitations and announcement tomorrow first thing.

Secretary returns with an envelope, hands it, Nebel opens it and puts it on thebtable.

NOTARY NEBEL

Please sign here…. And here.

OLIVER

What is this?

NOTARY NEBEL

Once you signed, it will be a fully notarized Power of attorney, signed by your mother yesterday afternoon.

This time Oliver is really stunned.

EXT. OFFICE – NOTARY – DAY

Notary Nebel lets Oliver out. Oliver still in combat and piece of paper in his hand.

NOTARY NEBEL

Please stay. And dig. Some of your questions will be sorted before the funerals.

END OF ACT 3
Jan Fantl

Member
July 23, 2023 at 8:24 pm in reply to: Lesson 3
Jan’s ACT 2

WIL:

ACT 2: ARRIVAL

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – DAY

Oliver drives into town,still in his sand dune uniform. He takes in the sights of places he has not seen for quite a while.

A public bus honks from behind, Oliver drives on a bus lane. He hasn’t noticed

His GPS guides him and announces

SIRI

(O.S.)

In 200 meters take a right. The location will be on your right hand side

EXT. HOME STREET – OLIVER

Oliver arrives at the house of his parents.

He has to give way to a grey minibus transporter which comes out of the parking spot in fornt of the house.

Oliver passes the house, finds a parking spot nearby and leav3s the car.

Oliver walks back.

EXT. IN FRONT OF THE WIND HOME – DAY

Oliver turuns into the small driveway. He sees a woman – PETRA – locking the main door.

Oliver addresses her

OLIVER

Hi there, good morning.

PETRA

Good morning. Are you a relative?

OLIVER

Yes. I am his son.

They are on different stages of information.

PETRA

His son? OK then, where is the husband, your father?

OLIVER

Bad timing for jokes. I am jzust arriving to see my mother and be here for her mourning. Is she home?

Oliver move to walk around Petra to ring the doorbell.

PETRA

Look , I am not into jokes. Fridericke wind passed this night and if you know where to contact her husband, I’d appreciate you give me the information.

Oliver stops in his motions

OLIVER

There miust be a miszunderstanding. I believe my father died 49 hours ago. And who are you by the way.

Petra pulls her detective ID adn holds in his direction.

PETRA

Petra Müller, Homicide Cottbus. I am sorry for your loss but I don’t know of any misunderstandings. And I would like to see your IDs.

There is a brief yet difficult moment for Oliver. He could loose his calm within this two secs af dangerus blink i in his eyes.

Oliver stays calm, pulls out his military ID and hands it over.

PETRA

(checks)

Oliver Wind. Major with the saxonian hunter brigade. You have any other ID?

OLIVER

if rules haven’t chenged since i got on the plane 36 hours ago, soldiers don’t fly in and out of war zones carrying ID’s on them but that one.

And Actually it is Military police, Major at the Nato Response Force. So please fill me in.

PETRA

I am not filling in, you have no jurisdiction here. I ask the questions.

Oliver take a deep breath. But she is right.

OLIVER

Ok. You mind i give the answers inside?

Petra looks at Oliver, 2,3,4. Turns and unlocks the door.

INT. THE WIND HOME – DAY

Oliver looks around, it is very silent. He turns to Petra.

OLIVER

For what I know, I received message via the family intel center that my father has passed. I have been released from duties to travel and assist my mother with funeral and all what comes with it. And mourning. This happened Tuesday late afternoon. Now it’s Thursday morning and you are telling not my father passed but my mother?

Petra hits a different tone as well, recognizes that Oliver co-operates.

PETRA

Then it’s my sad duty to inform you that your mother passed this early morning, here at her home. I don’t know about your father. I hear this from you first time. Who gave this information?

OLIVER

I assume my mother informed the FIC, that is contact for all relatives of army personnel.

And my mother and I spoke on the phone before boarding. What happened to my mum?

Oliver walks the around, Petra always following him, carefully watching what he is doing or touching.

PETRA

Police received a call by neighbors that a window was constantly slams open and close in the wind. Which is unusal for the Wind compound.

Oliver reaches the bedroom of his parents.

PETRA

A patrol car stopped by, checked and opened the door after nobod responded. They found your mother on the bed at 4:11 and called us.

Oliver looks ath bed, realization of loneliness begins to dawn

PETRA

Your mother died peacefully during sleep.

This is not so rare in very long realtionships. Sorry.

Oliver leaves the bedroom, strolls to his mothers home office.

OLIVER

(back to this world)

No. The other way round? Maybe. My mother? No. And my fatrzerh would wanted that too ….

would want her continue to live on. Something is wrong.

Petra is not impressed by his analyzes.

PETRA

I understand your grief. No signs of external circumstances. No indication showed to start to investigate.

I understand you don’t but we lookeda carefully, the open window nor the door show any signs of outside intrusion.

Oliver strolls by the desk and sees an open calender on the desk. Without stopping he takes picture with his brain despite the writing is upside down.

FLASH OF CALENDAR: 16:00 NOTARY

PETRA

It’s tough, sure. You just arrived, you must be btired. Maybe you should touch base with the other realtives first.

OLIVER

Yes, the other relatives. (sarcastic) That Should help.

PETRA

Yes. Shall we?

Oliver looks at Petra.

OLIVER

Shall we what?

PETRA

Leave?

OLIVER

Where?

PETRA

I don’t know. You are not registered under this address, you have no own keys as I understood. You can’t stay. officially this is not your home. And I don’t know if you are in charge or somebody else from the family. Siblings or so.

OLIVER

You are fucking kidding me. I m flying 8.000 kilometers to have no access to my parents home? What do you want me to present?

PETRA

I don’t know where you regitered, not here for sure. To hand you the keys I needs to see something, Mr. Military police Major Wind, correct? Confirmation of registration, power of attorney, last will.

Oliver knows she is – unhumanly – right , he follows her to leave the house.

EXT. IN FRONT OF THE WIND HOME – DAY

Petra leaves the house, followed by Oliver. She waits and closes and locks the door.

PETRA

(with a slight tone of sarcasm)

You actually should thank me. A minute ago you claimed this to be a crime scene.

Petra hands him a buiness card.

PETRA

Bring me anything that proves your authorization to enter and stay at this house and I will hand you the keys.

Petra leaves leaves Oliver stunned.

OLIVER

Be sure I will. Make sure to be reachable.

Petra doesn’t turn.

END OF ACT 2
- This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by Jan Fantl.
Jan Fantl

Member
July 10, 2023 at 9:32 pm in reply to: Lesson 2
Jan’s ACT 1

WIL: Mainly I allow myself letting the characters speak in a rough direction of what the story needs to flow forward. From characterizations earlier I remember where the intriguing sound might be, doing it not correcting it. moving forward.

forward. ACT 1: TRAVEL

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM – DAY

Oliver leans over the table – some time has passed – and shoves a glass of water into his third of the table.

OLIVER

Ok, let’s look at it this way. Here s some water. what do you want to put next on the playfield? A name, a name of a village? Tell me

MAHMOUD

My name is Mahmoud Khalid ben Khalid Al Masmouri and I am warrior of Allah.

OLIVER

Yes. But even warriors have knights, servants, chieftains. Allah would accept apologies if we’d knew who ordered you to trigger.

MAHMOUD

Allah is wise. He sees it all.

OLIVER

He does. And the he will see that the kid does not know what to do with 99 virgins. Too…

A YOUNG SOLDIER enters the room, salutes and walks over to Oliver, whispers discreetly in his ear.

OLIVER

Thank you soldier. (turns) Now we’re heading from playground to death row, Mahmoud. One kid, two body counts on our end. Murder.

Oliver hangs in silently.

Patient.

MAHMOUD

(under his breath)

Allah is wise. One of our child heroes takes two of your well trained men. (looks at Oliver). We have more children and women than you soldiers.

Oliver invisible breathes to calm, (turns to soldier)

OLIVER

Thank you soldier, dismissed.

The young soldier salutes, turns…the wrong way…Mahmoud checks and jumps… oliver realizing same time but beeing on the wrong side of the body. Mahmoud grabs the long knife on the young soldiers hip and re surfaces with the deadly blade in his hand.

Oliver pushers the young soldier out of the eyeline and signals the guard by the door to not use his weapon.

MAHMOUD

Allah will show me the way. Allah is wise.

OLIVER

Now we’re talking. Stop Mahmoud. Nothing will happen here. Nothing

He signals the guard by the door

OLIVER

Allah will be questioned now, as nobody will send you to see your destined virgins. Not 99, not one, none.

Nobody is armed here but the door guard and you. Not me and not the young stupid walking in here with a knife to his hip.

What do you want to do? Want to debate with Allah?

I`ll tell …- stop don’t wove – listen. I am giving now orders to the guard: Sergeant, you are going not to shoot the suspect. Train at his tighs, calves and ankles. Shoot until he cannot get to you, off the ground nor to the door. Copy that.

GUARD BY THE DOOR

Sir, copy that, sir.

OLIVER

That’s for that, you will not die through the enemy. So, what now? My young camerade will stay back in the far corner, watch and hope to survive this. And he will. And you will.

Oliver moves slowly towards the interrogation table

OLIVER

Leaves you with me. Hmh. Me? No dying, no virgins, no honor.

Mahmoud begins visibly to react to Oliver’s negotiation.

MAHMOUD

(agitated)

These kind of fairy tales do not work with Allah. We don’t have to listen to infidels

OLIVER

Fine, Allah may stay out of it. Leaves us with just you .and this interrogation about a cowardly set ambush. And your trial in Brussels. No honor… Or death row, yes, dedpends. Honor… No. Certainly a No

Mahmoud steps back into his corner raising the knife …. And then the move to cut his own throat.

Oliver knew it, steps on the chair , grabs the bottle of water from the table… flies into Mahmouds corner …

Mahmoud irritated for a split second to turn the knife against Oliver or himself … looses time … and Oliver gushes the water into the face of Mahmoud and split seconds later against his wrist. Knife gone, Oliver lays on him

OLIVER

Guard, take him. And to his cell..

Done. No fight.

The guard rushes into their corner of the cage and fixes one hand and with oliver getting up, the other one.

OLIVER

24 hours no contact. Food and water based on human rights, nothing more, nothing less.

Mahmoud spits on the floor in front of Oliver.

OLIVER

Isn’t Allah great? How does that get any better?

Mahmoud is led away.see Aide In the opened door we see AIDE arrive.

AIDE

(formal)

Major Wind, Lieutenant Colonel Brauen request your presence.

Oliver looks at his aide, they are buddies and comrades and soldiers, knowing every tone between the lines.

AIDE

… Instantly

Oliver reacts …

EXT. MILITARY CAMP – DAY

… and they – Aide and Oliver – walk together through the German camp in the midst of the desert.

OLIVER

What is it? You know?

AIDE

Nope, nothing. But he looked like ..calm

OLIVER

Calm? That sound dangerous. Else thing? About my latest complain back home?

AIDE

I have checked mail and IT, not a word. Not what we have access to.

OLIVER

(suddenly aggitated)

I have it. I’m loosing one soul per month, only me. our people get killed protecting drug transports on behalf of the government.

AIDE

Oli, you have to do something about your nightmares first thing. it wount take long team will know. You re having them now in open daylight.

OLIVERIt’s not our job

(uninterrupted)

It s enough. Even if our pharmaceutical industy needs it

I spend my time interrogating the wrong killers. … And your right, don’t know

AIDE

I m with you, but now cool it. Let’s be army buisness

OLIVER

Right. I am the fuck of army biz.

Walk away into the HQ building, talking

INT. CAMP HQ – OFFICE – DAYFOR AN UNDETERMINED

Oliver stays in front of a desk.

His Commanding Officer, Lieutenant Colonel BRAUEN looking at a map.

LT CL BRAUEN

Sad afternoon, Major Wind, Stay at ease.

OLIVER

Yes Sir, losses. Triggered by an individual misinterpreation. Fault – lead to own death and casualtyies .If I may ( he is not interrupted) We had 15 minues packing the trucks ahead of us . We would have fall for one of their traps. It wasnt really the mistake of this unexperienced …

LT CL BRAUEN

Sorry, appreciauteda but interrupted, this meeting has a different topic…. You are flying home. You are realedsd for an undeterminedd window of time.

OLIVER

Sir. I had to send this. Too many are dying becuase of …

LT CL BRAUEN

..and it is not about your petition either. Would please sit down?

Oliver does

LT CL BRAUEN

It is my sad duty to send you home because..let me make it brief. You are fyling home to assist your mother as your father has passed away last night.

Oliver looks at his LT C.

Stone faced. Stare. Nothing.

LT CL BRAUEN

Nothing soothers this. It’s differnt. Please do not become a stranger , we are here for you

Oliver gets out his chair.

OLIVER

I appreciate Sir. With your permission?

INT. CAMP HQ – TRAVEL MANAGEMENT – DAY

TRANSPORTATION MANAGER LT.

Yes and Yes. YES you have travel status. And Yes, you have the next available seat in xy hours

AIDE

Common ther e must be a better scheduling, this is a sad thing and he

Oliver is not parte´of this , staying back

TRANSPORTATION MANAGER LT.

No, .. he has already prio 2 from Lt.Brauen. We re looking

AIDE

Prio 2? What’s Prio 1 then? Can’t you put him in there?

TRANSPORTATION MANAGER LT.

One? That’s war, fly back to report to the Chancellor and the ministers. Really.

OLIVER

(from the back)

Is there any short cut?

TRANSPORTATION MANAGER LT.

Yes sir. In two days.

EXT. CAMP – DAY

OLIVER

I want you to find something to take me out of here. Not 49 or 44. IN Six the lates. A flying carepet, elephant or something.

Aide leaves, Oliver on his bed, alone, no tears.

INT. TENT/BARRACK – OLIVER – DAY

Oliver packs his belongings and tries to reach his mother on his satellite phone.

There is no answer.

Aide enters.

AIDE

Oli, let’s get running. No flights or the one cargo that leaves in six.

OLIVER

(wakes alert)

Now? Where?

AIDE

Now-Now. I’ll tell on the run,c’mon

Oliver seizes the opportunity, closes backpack while already moving.

They run.

EXT. AIRFIELD – DAWN

Oliver and Aide running

AIDE

You have probably no seat or so. Stuff flying back for repair

OLIVER

That ok, havent sleapt sinmce days anyawy. You makle sure that Mahmoud is alive when I’m back. Thta is not an order, I want you to promise.

AIDE

Oli, c’mon? The HQ will want us to

OLIVER

Promise

AIDE

Yes, will be alive and waiting

OLIVER

I#ll do the funeral and will be back. Days may be a ….

Oliver phone rings.It’s loud

EXT. AIRFIELD – CARGO PLANE – DAWN

Aide sees a blue light flashing above Oliver’s breast pocketzs points at it. Oliver grabs his ringing satellite phone and it shows MAMMA

OLIVER

Mum? I am on..

THE SCREEN OPENS TO A SPLIT OF OLIVER AND FREDDIE

FREDDIE

Oliver, Are you coming ? I need …

The connection is noisy,

OLIVER

Yes Mum, I am just jumping on aplane and …

FREDDIE

O need to tell you something urgent. Can we speak for 5 minutes?

OLIVER

Mum, I am at the plane. I need to go on board ….

FREDDIE

But it’s urgent. Your dad. The family is going out of ….

Oliver is running into the open hatch of the cargo, the cardo officer is waving him in.

From the other side a semi truck speeds into frame. Two soldiers bringing a body bag, running towards the open hatch.

OLIVER

I can’z hear you well. We talk in the morning ok? We re flying out now.I ‘ll call you when landed

Oliver hangs up, turns, waving to aide

AIDE

(only as mouth moves)

Call me, weirdo

Making the idiot moves

Oliver smirks, nods. Closing hatch interrupts their eye line..

INT. CARGO PLANE – DARK

(Optional)

Oliver sits between damages jeeps and trucks, weaponary. Unable to take his eyes away from the body bag. He shakes like a baby – no tears though.

EXT. AIRFIELD GERMANY – NIGHT

Rain, wind, fall.

Oliver as he disembarks the opening hatch. Soldiers waiting.

Oliver checks the situation approaches the officer supervising the ürocedure

OLIVER

Hey

AIRFIELD OFFICER

(checks,salutes)

Major

OLIVER

Save it, dismiss. Do me a favor? There is a bag on the flight? One of my team returning. Please see after some of your sensitive guys go see his parents

AIRFIELD OFFICER

A comrad? Fuck. Sorry Major, we shall do, look after him on the way home.

OLIVER

Appreciate. … I need to sleep, any bunk free here.

AIRFIELD OFFICER

Sorry no Sir. We are an airfield only, no barracks no nothing other tahn tricks and gasoline.

OLIVER

Next exit?

AIRFIELD OFFICER

The 9Inn, I can get you a driver. Best option

Oliver nods

INT. THE 9 INN – NIGHT

Oliver looks at..

CONCIERGE 9INN

…not kidding. 360 €uro is it until six o’clock. Must understand we charge by the 30 minutes, you’ll do the math.

OLIVER

I really want to sleep, nothing else.

CONCIERGE 9INN

Got it but the rrom is blocked, dude.

OLIVER

Look, how does that get any better? I just return from war zone, brought back a buddy home.A Rebate for a just a shower?

CONCIERGE 9INN

your real? not from the airfield? Ok, here’s my hero rebate

He truns the sign paper,with a scribbled number on it

OLIVER

Hm, seems I AM a hero

Grabs the pen and signs.

CONCIERGE 9INN

But maybe one of the girls needs to kae a rest on the other side of your bed, jus a nap

OLIVER

Man, I am so dead, haven’t slept for mopre than 36. As long as she doesn’t shot at em.

CONCIERGE 9INN

No extra service? Right?

Oliver grabs the key card.

INT. ROOM WITH A BED – DARK

Oliver emerges from the shower, his tiredness evident.

It’s a tiny room. Oliver comes from the shower mounted in the room, steps and turnsover his heavy backpack, we see several tattos but more present are his Scars from heavy wounds on back and his arm,rememberences to his past experiences.

Exhausted, Oliver grabs his phone, now the satellite and a older smart phone. But the he glances at his watch, late. He puts his back on the nightstand

Rubs his face, and

falls asleep before he hits linen

INT. ROOM WITH A BED – DARK

Oliver is restless in his sleep, bumping into Xenia’s arm and

immediately becoming alert. He Startles high and looks, ready to fight…

XENIA, a semi-attractive pro, wakes too.

XENIA

What?

Sees his hands ready for comabt

OLIVER

I said, no services, id I?

XENIA

Right but boss told you one might need to rest here

OLIVER

Did I?

XENIA

Yes. Man, sex worker, sleep, peace.

She looks at the bedspread

XENIA

But maybe you wanna reconsider, regulate some pressure before going home seeing Mutti.

Wrong button “Mutti” rings the bell. Oliver looks at his wrist

OLIVER

Shit, it’s eight? Man.

He jumps out of bed, forgetting. He is totally naked. Xenia looks at his/him

XENIA

(sarcasm yet motivating)

You sure You don’t want to regulate a bit?

OLIVER

What are doing this mornin’? I’ll give you 50.

Conversation goes sideways.

XENIA

Changed your mind quickly. Sure

OLIVER

Surely not. Drive me to the next car rental

XENIA

Oh, ok. 70 then.

Oliver stepping naked over his back pack towards bath room, looks at her in her exotic call girl underwaear

OLIVER

Need a t shirt? Or so?

Xenia kind of likes his humor but mostly looks at his/him

XENIA

Got two… or so. In case you ever need to regulate pressure, emme know.

Xenia totally openly smiles at Oliver. Oliver first time relizes he stands in front of her with an erection

OLIVER

Can we?

END OF ACT 1
- This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by Jan Fantl.
Jan Fantl

Member
July 10, 2023 at 7:59 pm in reply to: Lesson 1

Jan’s High Speed writing

WIL:

EXT. WAR ZONE – DAY

A SOLDIER 1 drinks from his canteen.

A child approaches, mimicking the drinking sign.

OLIVER sitting on a semi armoured car, grabs for his mouth piece

OLIVER

(in mike)

Falcon One for nest. Keep the kiddo away. Don’t let it come near to any of you.

Oliver scans the surrounding of the village. German soldiers load bags welded in plastic on two military trucks. His team of five soldiers of his special unit cover the work of froman outer ring.

Soldier 1 waves with hois hand towards tje kid to stay away. The the kid in a arabic Burka stops, and signals too, he is thirsty, makes the international sign for drinking

OLIVER

Soldier in nest copy, do not let the kid approach it could be an asset. Copy

The kid waves with both hands. The soldier ignores the warning ..

The Kid approaches The semi armoured Jeep…

SOLDIER 1

I think he really asks for sometzhing to drink. He looks thirsty

OLIVER

WArn him to go awqy . Now. This is an order

OLIVER

Any team near the kid and nest 1 ?

AIDE

(over intercom)

I am 30 sec away

VOICE

(intercom)

On my way in 25

… the kid is only 5 sec away.

Oliver shoots into the air to raise attnetion.

The working soldier turn. The kid turns… and starts running the last meters towards the truck

Soldier 1 understands the situation. He lifts his weapon

SOLDIER 1

Stop. Do not coem Close! Stop now!

Oliver aims at the kid through his special rifle … the kid is too close to the truck already.

The kid is in reach of the truck, touches it

ARABIC KID

Allah is great

BOUUMMMMHH

Everything explodes, no kid, no soldier … a truck lifted into the air in fire, and dust

Oliver watches, covering his face.

OLIVER

(intercom)

All team Falcon. Swarm and find his accomplices, the kid didn#t trigger it itself. Somebody nearby did. Finde these fuckers.

Oliver jumps of his Jeep and rushes to the injured soldier.

Soldier 1 lays 30 meters away from where his truck was. Oliver knees next to him opens his Kevlar vest. Lot of blood gushing from wherever

OLIVER

Falcon One for Camp xy,copy

VOICE CAMP

Come in Falcon One.

OLIVER

We have been ambushed. One men wounded, one seriously. We are 30 clicks out, preparing for transport. Prepare for hospital. Copy that

VOICE CAMP

Copy. Two injured, one for immeadiate surgeries. Once on your way, forward Id and we’ll prepare for blood preserves eat al. And send ESTA. Copy that

Oliver tries to keep Soldier 1 alive.

VOICE CAMP

Falcon? Copy…….Falcon Cop

EXT. MILITARY CAMP – IN FRONT OF POLICE BUILDING – DAY

AIDE

Oliver…Oliver, common, Oli for planet earth

Oliver wakes up from a dream, disturbed and agitated.

OLIVER

You can make … What. Ohh. What. Fuck. Again

AIDE

Yoe bro. You need to wake. Here

Oliver goes from something to nothing, starts shaing, breathing.

OLIVER

No. Ohhhhh. W…what .hm Hm hm

It’s a panick attack

Aide, not surprised, continues to slap Oli’s face

AIDE

Yes, you can make, come back I am her, comon

It’s not working and his buddy is not surprised even, grabs a grocery bag from one of his many soldier pants pockets and pulls it over Oliver’s head. Pulling it tight.

Oliver defends himself, wriggels and squirms. Aide helds tight and Oliver faints and slumps in his seat.

Aide releases the grocery bag instantly and slaps in Oliver’s face again.

Oliver gains consciousness and returns to this side of the universe.

Aide hands him a bottle of water and a can with a power drink.

AIDE

Welcome back, boss. We re ready to continue with that prick?

OLIVER

Just give me a sec

Takes a sip. Inhales. Another sip.

OLIVER

Ok, Allah is great. Let s see

Oliver gets up. He and his aide walk into the building marked MP.

END OF TEASER
Jan Fantl

Member
July 2, 2023 at 6:40 pm in reply to: Lesson 12

Jan’s Outline With Intrigue

WIL: When you think you’re there – haha – there is more pond to dive deeper and get yourself a clearer mind what you are story telling about. Bravo!

WAR

EXT. WAR ZONE – DAY – Intriguing World

Start:

A SOLDIER drinks from his canteen as a child approaches, mimicking the drinking sign.

Challenging Situation:

OLIVER signals over the intercom for the soldier to keep the child at a safe distance.

Conflict:

The soldier ignores the warning and

Action:

is ambushed by the child, who turns out to be a suicide bomber. Oliver orders his team to apprehend the accomplices.

Finish:

Oliver rushes to the injured soldier, trying to keep him alive.

Mystery: Where is Oliver, what is going on?
Empathy/Distress: Oliver motivates others to focus, a plan that fails
Open Loop: Is the soldier going to survive?
Payoff:
Irony: the motion of being kind can cost lives
Setup: Oliver is traumatized

EXT. MILITARY CAMP – IN FRONT OF POLICE BUILDING – DAY – Hidden Layer

Start:

Oliver wakes up from a dream, disturbed and agitated.

Challenging Situation:

His AIDE calls him in to continue an interrogation,

Conflict:

knowing that Oliver has these recurring dreams. And no news about the soldier in hospital

Action:

They walk back in to continue

Open Loop: there is an interrogation going on
Open Loop: the soldier is still alive
Mystery: who ordered this ambush, they were actually protecting a transport of their cocaine
Empathy/Distress: Why are we getting theses orders? Oliver is worried what they are doing as an army on behalf government
Payoff: soldier was brought back alive
Irony: we are getting shot for protecting cocaine dealers
Setup: Oliver is traumatized from earlier

ACT 1: TRAVEL

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM – DAY – Secret identity

Start: Oliver interrogates MAHMOUD, a captured individual with indications of triggering the ambush.

Challenging Situation:

During the interrogation, Oliver is discreetly informed that the soldier did not survive the attack.

Conflict:

Oliver uses this information to accuse Mahmoud of murder, but Mahmoud remains unimpressed and unresponsive.

Action:

When the soldier turns to whisper in Oliver’s ear, Mahmoud seizes the opportunity to attack. Oliver restrains the guard at the door and convinces Mahmoud to back down. Mahmoud is led away

Finish:

as another soldier arrives, requesting Oliver’s presence to see his commanding officer.

Open Loop: Oliver promises Mahmoud to continue interrogation soon
Mystery: Is Oliver a soldier or a crime detective?
Empathy/Distress: the soldier didn’t make it
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Oliver is good interrogator
Setup: Oliver is excellent at handling difficult situations

EXT. MILITARY CAMP – DAY – Hidden agenda

Start:

Oliver walks with his aide,

Challenging Situation:

discussing the lack of response to his previous complaint.

Conflict:

He expresses disappointment that his squad is assigned to guard German soldiers involved in questionable activities, such as organize cocaine transports for pharmaceutical companies.

Finish:

Talking into the HQ

Open Loop: What will army do about Oliver’s complaints
Mystery: Can we find out who was behind the ambush?
Empathy/Distress: loose soldiers in questionable activities
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Oliver’s relation to HQ back home

INT. CAMP HQ – OFFICE – DAY – Wound

Start:

The COMMANDING OFFICER informs Oliver that he is being released to travel home.

Challenging Situation:

Oliver is surprised, thinking it’s related to his complaints, but it’s personal news.

Conflict:

His father has passed away, and he is being granted leave to assist his mother with the funeral arrangements.

Action:

Oliver falls silent, processing the news.

Finish/ Start:

Oliver is being dismissed,

Challenging Situation:

with the advise to stay as long as it takes.

Open Loop: Is Oliver coming back ?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress: about his complaint/ message about his father’s accident
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Oliver needs to take care about family issues

INT. CAMP HQ – TRAVEL MANAGEMENT – DAY Deception

Conflict:

Oliver and his aide learn that the next available passenger flight is in two days.

Open Loop: How does Oliver get to his mother?
Mystery: What is between Oliver and his family?
Empathy/Distress: How will I pretend to mourn about my father
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Oliver is not finished with Mahmoud

EXT. CAMP – DAY – Wound

Action:

Oliver asks his aide to explore any options for an earlier departure.

Aide leaves, Oliver on his bed, alone, no tears.

Open Loop: Can aide find a flight to leave earlier
Mystery: why is Oliver not sad?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Stress with family is coming up

INT. TENT/BARRACK – OLIVER – DAY – Strange Behavior

Start:

Oliver packs his belongings and tries to reach his mother on his satellite phone,

Challenging Situation:

but she doesn’t answer or there is no signal.

Conflict:

His aide enters and informs him of a flight departing in a few minutes, a cargo flight carrying damaged goods back to Germany.

Action:

Oliver seizes the opportunity and accepts the flight.

Finish:

They run

Open Loop: Can he get on the flight?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress: decide quickly, no comfort
Payoff:
Irony: He doesn’t want to go but runs
Setup:

EXT. AIRFIELD – DAWN – Hidden Agenda

Start:

Oliver asks his aide

Challenging Situation:

to ensure the assassin is kept well and alive until

Conflict:

his return in 5-6 days to continue the interrogation despite the funeral

Action:

Aide is not convinced but agrees

Finish:

Oliver phone rings

Open Loop: will the team wait until he is back with the interrogation?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress: get a respectful travel home for the dead soldier
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup:

EXT. AIRFIELD – CARGO PLANE – DAWN

Start:

Aide points at Olivers pocket, his satellite phone rings, and it’s his mother, FREDDIE.

Challenging Situation:

The connection is noisy, but Oliver gathers that something is amiss. He reassures her that he will be there in a couple of hours, and they can talk about everything then.

Conflict:

Now he needs to finish this call as the cargo plane’s door closes,

Action:

Oliver rushes inside, same time the body bag with the dead soldier is loaded last minute into the same plane

Finish:

ending the call.

Open Loop: to understand what his mother was saying
Mystery: what is what mum has to say
Empathy/Distress: He speaks kindly to his mother/ but can’t understand what she says
Payoff: because of the quick decision he gets the flight
Irony: the dead soldier flies home with the same plane
Setup: Freddie (mother ) has some important informations for Oliver

INT. CARGO PLANE – DARK Wound/Strange Behavior

(Optional)

Oliver sitting in an uncomfortable position. And the uncomfortable view on the body bag.

EXT. AIRFIELD GERMANY – NIGHT – Secret

Start:

Unfavorable weather greets Oliver as he disembarks the plane.

Challenging Situation:

He approaches a soldier and inquires about nearby accommodations for a shower and some rest.

Conflict:

There is none The soldier recommends the 9-Inn.

Action:

Oliver leaves

Open Loop:
Mystery: why isn’t Oliver rushing home?
Empathy/Distress: almost home / need sleep
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: He has always guys to talk to in the army

INT. THE 9 INN – NIGHT – Intriguing World

Start:

Oliver requests a room and

Challenging Situation:

is given an exorbitant price for a short stay, as the establishment charges by the 30-minute increment.

Conflict:

After explaining his situation of coming from a war zone and needing rest before seeing his mother,

Action:

Oliver is granted a “hero’s rebate” with the understanding

Finish:

that he won’t require any extra services.

Open Loop: will Oliver get some special service
Mystery: Why is he accepting these circumstances
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup:

INT. ROOM WITH A BED – DARK – Wound

Start:

Oliver emerges from the shower, his tiredness evident.

Challenging Situation:

He struggles with his heavy backpack, revealing a gunshot wound or a scar on his arm, a testament to his past experiences.

Conflict:

Exhausted, he glances at his phone and watch,

Action:

rubs his face, and

Finish:

falls asleep.

Open Loop:
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress: thinking to connect with his mother/ not doing it
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup:

INT. ROOM WITH A BED – DARK Intriguing World

Start:

Oliver is restless in his sleep, bumping into someone’s arm and

Challenging Situation:

immediately becoming alert. XENIA, a semi-attractive pro, reassures him. Despite Oliver’s initial request for no services,

Conflict:

she explains that they needed the bed for her to rest after dealing with a difficult client. Nothing happened between them.

Action:

Oliver realizes it’s already morning and rushes to leave, offering Xenia €50 for driving him to the nearest car rental,

Finish:

which she accepts.

Open Loop:
Mystery: will we meet Xenia again?
Empathy/Distress: I got sleep/ I am late
Payoff: He didn’t receive any special treatment
Irony: paying a sex worker as a driver
Setup:

ACT 2: ARRIVAL

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – DAY Hidden Layer

Start:

Oliver drives into town, his aide on the phone

Challenging Situation:

taking in the sights of a place …His aide mocks him, he needs GPS at home?

Conflict:

he hasn’t been in a long time.

Action:

His GPS guides him and announces. Now it is about his mother and how she’s holding up. He hangs up

Finish:

200 meters to final address.

Open Loop: How will his mother being holding up?
Mystery: how come he hasn’t been home for so long?
Empathy/Distress: meeting his mother / meeting his mother
Payoff:
Irony: Oliver needs a GPS to find home
Setup: the home town and Oliver

EXT. HOME STREET – OLIVER – Secret

Start:

He misses the house, and as he gets out of the car, he runs into PETRA, who is about to lock up.

Challenging Situation:

They immediately clash, and just as Oliver’s GENERAL calls, he tries to delay the conversation.

Conflict:

After Petra insists, Oliver shows her his military ID to introduce himself.

Action:

Petra informs him of his mother’s passing the previous night.

Finish:

Neighbors heard a window constantly in the wind and called police.

Open Loop: What is the local homicide do next?
Mystery: What happened to his mother ?
Empathy/Distress: / he slept when she died
Payoff:
Irony: without needing sleep he could met her alive
Setup: What is this all about

INT. HOME -PARENTS – DAY –

Start

Petra reluctantly agrees to accompany Oliver through the house, which feels strange since they are both police officers. While walking, Oliver notices an appointment note on the desk for a visit to the notary’s office.

Challenging Situation:

Oliver’s homecoming is marred by tension and loneliness. Petra informs him that they have found no evidence of a crime, as his mother was found fully dressed on her bed without any suspicious letters.

Conflict:

Oliver doesn’t believe it and argues that his parents’ deaths occurring within 59 hours raise suspicions. This revelation surprises Petra, as the homicide department has no information about his father’s passing. Oliver has no details.

Action:

In a fit of frustration, Oliver verbally confronts Petra, announcing his determination to investigate and defy the dismissive stance of the homicide department.

Finish:

Petra leaves and refuses to leave him with the keys. Oliver is stunned.

Open Loop: What is Oliver going to do about it?
Mystery: What happened to both of his parents and local police doesn’t know about?
Empathy/Distress: Oliver is worried , new situation, what to do next?
Payoff:
Irony: sitting in front of his home, he hasn’t been to quite long
Setup: Oliver embarks the journey to find the truth

ACT 3: DOORS SHUT

EXT. HOME STREET – DAY – Deception

Start:

Oliver sits alone on the doorsteps, contemplating his next move.

Challenging Situation:

He receives another call from his general, discussing

Conflict:

his suspicions about his parents’ deaths and his determination to uncover the truth.

Action:

The general assures him of support if needed.

Finish:

Oliver decides to clear his mind first but assumes he can handle it

Open Loop: Is homicide getting away with this?
Mystery: What is it between the two and him?
Empathy/Distress: he is crime investigator / he is son
Payoff:
Irony: flying home to help mother and now investigating her passing
Setup: the general becomes a player in this story

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – DAY – Hidden agenda

Oliver walks through the town, unfamiliar with the buildings and feeling disconnected from his former home.

Open Loop:
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup:

INT. RESIDENTS’ REGISTRATION OFFICE – DAY Strange Behavior

Start:

Oliver visits the registry office to confirm his residency,

Challenging Situation:

but they are unable to find him in their digital records as they -digitally -only go back to 2009 and the file-files are with the digitizing company.

Conflict:

The REGISTRATION LADY, whose name tag shows her family name as Wind, sympathizes with his loss but can’t provide assistance without the required documents.

Open Loop: How will he get access to the house ?
Mystery: How come he has unregistered 19 years ago?
Empathy/Distress: condolences / no assistance
Payoff:
Irony: the lady reuses to help is a relative, is she?
Setup: Many people carrying the name Wind

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – DAY Hidden Agenda

Start:

Oliver continues his search for answers, contacting the military police HQ in Germany

Challenging Situation:

to check his files and residency history. They promise to call him back with the information.

Conflict:

Oliver checks Google and finds contacts for his uncle, HANS WIND,

Action:

whom he decides to call.

Open Loop: Will he get access to the house ?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress: having family/ having stress with family
Payoff: Speaking to the general allows him to use army intel
Irony: serving in the army made Oliver disappear what he originally wanted, now paddling backwards
Setup: Oliver’s network in the army is a fallback

INT. TOWN HALL OFFICE – DAY Deception

Start:

Over finds contacts for the next close relative. Uncle Hans knows details about his father’s accidental death at the shipyard and expresses condolences.

Challenging Situation:

He offers to meet the following day to mourn together, as he is out of town, discuss the funeral, and catch up on family matters.

Conflict:

It’s clearly a lie. He is in town, and across from him sits Clarice, observing Hans as he speaks.

Action:

After ending the call, they share a glance, wondering

Finish:

what their next move should be.

Open Loop: Will he get access to the house ?
Mystery:There is a history with Uncle Hans. What is it?
Empathy/Distress: I have helpful relatives / Uncle Hans is a liar
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Introducing Clarice
Setup: Uncle Hans has an agenda

INT. REGISTRY OFFICE – DAY – Strange behavior

Start:

Oliver meets with the registry office,

Challenging Situation:

asks for a certificate of birth

Conflict:

but they can’t provide assistance without specific documents, such as an residential confirmation and papers signed by his parents.

Action:

They sympathize with his loss

Finish:

but can’t bend the rules.

Open Loop: Will he get access to the house ?
Mystery: How come Oliver doesn’t publicly exist?
Empathy/Distress: what else option is there?
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: this city has so many Winds

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – DAY – Hidden Agenda

Start:

Oliver receives a call from the coroner’s office,

Challenging Situation:

returning his call, regarding his mother’s body.

Conflict:

They refuse to speak to him without a power of attorney

Action:

and abruptly end the call.

Finish:

Frustrated, Oliver realizes that the authorities won’t cooperate easily.

Open Loop:
Mystery: What is going in this town? Or this the new normal?
Empathy/Distress: being Cop/ being son
Payoff:
Irony: Oliver asks if there is working somebody with the name Wind, which they misunderstand as they think he s looking for a vitamin B relation .
Setup: Red flag: He must avoid cremation or fast funeral

INT. BANK – DAY – Deception

Start

Oliver visits his mother’s bank

Challenging Situation:

and inquires information what he will need to get authority about and for her accounts.

Conflict:

The BANK CLERK, whose name tag again bears the name Wind, refuses to provide any information without a valid power of attorney.

Action:

They express condolences

Finish:

but remain firm.

Open Loop: Will he get access to any piece of paper to unwind this bureaucratic system?
Open Loop: Will he get access to the house ?
Mystery: How did the Wind clan has put so many people in the driving seats of this town?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony: the more they block the better Oliver will become
Setup: This town will have fun with Oliver

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – DAY Hidden agenda

Start:

Oliver receives a call from the military HQ,

Challenging Situation:

stating they couldn’t find any documents related to his previous residency. Before he joined the army.

Conflict:

Disheartened,

Action:

surrounded by masses of residents walking around him Oliver contemplates his next steps

Finish:

sitting there and lonesome on the market square of his home town.

Open Loop: Will he get access to any piece of paper to unwind this bureaucratic system?
Open Loop: Will he get access to the house ?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup:

EXT. STREET NEAR TOPPER CAR COMPOUND – DAY – Wound/Secret

Start:

Oliver’s attention is caught by a large car dealer compound

Challenging Situation:

with the name “Toll, Top, Topper.” He looks at it with disdain,

Conflict:

particularly at a man named JÜRGEN, who appears to be involved with the customers.

Action:

Oliver turns away,

Finish:

feeling a sense of disgust.

Open Loop:
Mystery: There is a history with Jürgen, what is it?
Empathy/Distress : disgust about Jürgen
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: the Jürgen story leads to big wound

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – DAY

Start:
Challenging Situation:
Conflict:
Action:
Finish:

Oliver unlocks his rental car and drives away.

Open Loop:
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup:

EXT. SHIPYARD WIND – DAY – Hidden Layer

Start:

Oliver finds Siggi, Helge’s long time right-hand man at the shipyard,

Challenging Situation:

Siggi shares information with Oliver. He talks about the shipyard deal and

Conflict:

his observations in the last 4-6 weeks, hinting at something suspicious.

Action:

Oliver asks for more details

Finish:

and Siggi leads him towards the jetties.

Open Loop: What was going on the last 4-6 weeks ?
Mystery: There is something weird about his fathers dead as well, what is it?
Empathy/Distress: seeing what his dad made out of the shipyard/ breaks his heart same time.
Payoff: Siggi remembers Oliver as a child that was always friendly with him.
Irony:
Setup: it will be about the shipyard

EXT. SHIPYARD – YACHT & SAILING CLUB – DAY Hidden Agenda

Start:

Siggi shows Oliver the spot

Challenging Situation:

where the accident supposedly occurred,

Conflict:

involving his father falling into the lake.

Action:

Oliver looks around, the jetty, the boats. Oliver is about to walk away,

Finish: /Start:

When Siggi recognizes a boat coming in

Challenging Situation:

CLARICE, who identifies herself as Oliver’s cousin, appears and invites him to visit her and her father, Johan Feuer-Wind.

Conflict:

Clarice offers Oliver to stay at their house in case he understandably does not want to stay at home or his mother needs rest, she is unaware of Oliver’s mother’s passing, and Oliver realizes the family is not on the same page.

Action:

Clarice and departs and Oliver checks the time and realizes the time of his mother’s scheduled appointment at the notary’s office.

Finish:

Back on land Oliver turns and checks the jetty again with a thoughtful look.

Open Loop: What is Oliver going to do about his father’s accident ?
What was helge (father) doing the last 4-6 weeks that created seemingly a turmoil ?
Mystery: Siggi has a history with the family, what will this be?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff: Doing his job well shows him quickly that something is off about the accident
Irony: a shipbuilder and sailor drowns on jetty
Setup: Oliver needs to investigate on his father’s dead too
Open Loop: what brought Clarice to this Yachtclub?
Mystery: what is the family connection to Clarice and her father Johan?
Empathy/Distress: putting the first pieces together / the stress will be in the family
Payoff:
Irony: Clarice would be Oliver’s kind of prey scheme but he kind of dislikes her
Setup: Clarice, Johan and the water Mill will become a story

INT. OFFICE – NOTARY WAITING ROOM – DAY Hidden Layer

Start:

Oliver requests to wait in the notary’s office for his mother,

Challenging Situation:

despite the secretary attempts to shoo him away. Oliver insists on staying,

Conflict:

and when the secretary goes to inform the notary,

Action:

she returns with the notary. Oliver has news.

Finish:

His mother passed away in the early morning.

Open Loop:
Mystery: the secretary has her own story with the Winds, what will it beg
Empathy/Distress: the secretary is worried if Freddie wants to meet Oliver, so they are not up to date either. / Oliver needs to hold back.
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: the secretary story about the Winds and the Lehners.

INT. OFFICE – NOTARY STUDY – DAY – Conspiracy

Start:

The notary, a close friend of “Freddie,”

Challenging Situation:

offers Oliver a summary of the events leading up to her passing.

Conflict:

Oliver becomes firmer to question the peacefulness of both his parents’ deaths, and the notary somehow does not disagree. And

Action:

the notary suggests Oliver should stay in town until the will is read to the family. He urges to investigate further and stay. And then he hands Oliver a power of attorney that Oliver’s mother signed, just hours before her passing,

Finish:

granting him authority to handle her affairs.

Open Loop: Why should Oliver stay? What will be in the will?
Mystery: the notar y has his own history with Freddie, what will it be?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff: confronting the notary directly with the message about his mother opens his heart instantly
Irony: the power of attorney was there all day as his mother seemingly guessed how the town will welcome him
Setup: the private notary story and informations about his mother’s life.

ACT 4: BRAWL & SEX

EXT. LAKE DISTRICT – HIGHWAY – DAY – Intriguing World

Start:

Oliver drives car in nice landscape Lake District

INT. GOYATZ POLICE STATION – DAY Hidden Agenda

Challenging Situation:

Checking in, Oliver introduces himself and presents his PoA, Oliver receives intel about the accident,

Conflict:

but police does not see anything else than an accident.

Action:

Oliver files a request to see his father in the morgue and that he will file for an examination by the public prosecutor. Has asks for intel how to inform both police districts about to have knowledge about both deaths of his parent at two different places within 59 hours.

Finish:

Oliver announces to be back next day.

Open Loop: How to push forward what happened to his father
Mystery: How come this police station doesn’t see indications as well
Empathy/Distress: detective / son
Payoff: having the PoA some tasks can get started
Irony:
Setup: Investigation in the shipyard area

EXT. LAKE DISTRICT -View at SHIPYARD – SUNSET / BLUE HOUR Secret Identity

Start:

Oliver drives

Challenging Situation:

by the lake, stops the car, opens the door and has to throw up.

Conflict:

His gaze fixed on the shipyard on the other side of the lake, that belonged to his parents.

Action:

Oliver just stares. Other pictures in his head than what he sees.

Finish:

He gets out of the car and starts kicking and fighting trees. No tears.

Open Loop:
Mystery: There is something wrong about Oliver and his homelands, what is it?
Empathy/Distress: son / family
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: What are Oliver’s traumata ?

EXT. POLICE HQ – NIGHT Imminent Threat

Start:

Oliver presents the power of attorney at the police headquarters,

Challenging Situation:

requesting access to his parents’ home and to see Petra.

Conflict:

Petra is not present, and they wont tell him.

Action:

Oliver offers two solutions, he will call military police and ask for assistance and they will know where she is or they call her and ask for permission to tell ´him the location. They do and

Finish:

Petra agrees to see her on a crime scene as she still carries the keys on her.

Open Loop: Does Oliver gets the keys finally ?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: The Petra – Oliver head to head will last

EXT. CLOSE TO POLICE CRIME SCENE- NIGHT – Strange Behavior

Start:

Oliver arrive at crime scene, presenting his police ID requests to see Petra.

Challenging Situation:

Oliver presents his PoA again and receives keys. Petra challenges him

Conflict:

Why is he so into finding a crime about his parents passing? Is he so war traumatized that every corpse means a killing. Petra has no idea which boobytrap she just tapped in.

Action:

Oliver gives her the big picture what he’s found so far within less than one day. Father and mother died within 59 hours, in two police districts. His father fell from a ladder on a jetty where is nothing to work at from a ladder, and fell into water and drowned with two broken tight. So either you fall onto the jetty and break your bones but then you are on the jetty. Or you fall into the water and break probably nothing. His mother was fully dressed yet not on her bedside but his fathers, why would she do that, if she didn’t leave a letter? He adds 2-3 more indications and resumes, he would see enough initial suspicion to trigger an investigation. And he will.

Finish:

Oliver walks away, wishes Petra good luck with her crime scene, he would wish he would not have to go to THE crime scene he is going to.

Open Loop: Who is Petra? Why is she so hesitant to a case
Mystery: Is there something about the Winds Oliver should know?
Empathy/Distress: Petra is worried about Oliver , yet she taps into the wrongest questions af all
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Oliver can now start to investigate

INT. PARENTS’ HOME – NIGHT Mystery

Start:

Oliver finally opens the door to his parents home.

INT. PARENTS’ HOME – NIGHT – Mystery

Challenging Situation:

Oliver walks the rooms

INT. PARENTS’ HOME – NIGHT – Mystery

Conflict:

Oliver walks into the bedroom

INT. PARENTS’ HOME – NIGHT – Mystery

Action:

Oliver decides to leaves quickly

INT. PARENTS’ HOME – NIGHT – Wound

Finish:

Oliver leaves – no results, impressions only.

Open Loop:
Mystery: Who might have an agenda with his parents to kill or have killed them?
Empathy/Distress: cop / son
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup:

INT. PROSECUTOR’S OFFICE – NIGHT – Suspicion

Start:

Oliver presents the power of attorney and

Challenging Situation:

files for the prevention of his mother’s body release, demanding an official examination.

Conflict:

The authorities require a „different“ validation of the power of attorney,

Action:

leaving Oliver frustrated and announcing pressure

Finish:

certain about his next move.

Open Loop: He wants his parents having both an examination and autopsy, will get this on motion ?
Mystery: the town, the town the town ?
Empathy/Distress: having PoA / not enough
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: connect the authorities in town and shipyard area

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – BACK SALON – NIGHT – Hidden Layer

Start:

Walking with anger subsiding, Oliver ponders his options.

Challenging Situation:

Oliver sees a nightlife pub,

Conflict:

hesitating but ultimately seeking solace.

Action:

Oliver decides and walks and

Finish:

enters a nightlife pub BACK SALON.

Open Loop:
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup:

INT. BACK SALON – NIGHT – Secret identity/ Imminent Threat

Start:

Oliver finds himself among a few guests at the bar, attempts to calm down after this tumultuous day.

Challenging Situation:

Two groups of men arrive, seeking Oliver’s opinion and provoking a confrontation.

Conflict:

Oliver sees the conflict and tries to manage to avoid it but the guys leave no way out and it escalates into a 4 against 1 brawl.

Action:

Despite the outnumbering odds, Oliver fights without causing much damage to the bar. As the assailants flee, Oliver seizes their wallets before tending to his knife wound. MARIE, the bartender, thanks him for taking a stand and tends to his injury.

Finish:

They engage in conversation, and Oliver asks Marie for a recommendation for a simple hotel. Marie offers her own room above the bar for him to stay.

Open Loop: somebody staged a pub brawl to get him beaten up or worse, who?
Mystery: Who is already after Oliver?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff: the knight gets the princess
Irony: people who fancy war emblems and stories come to provoke a soldier
Setup: the Marie-Oliver story

INT. APARTMENT – MARIE – NIGHT – Secret Identity

Start:

Oliver and Marie bump through the door already kissing

Challenging Situation:

and wildly into each others undressing

Conflict:

While Marie bumps all the time into the fresh bandaged wound which makes Oliver groan.

Action:

Marie playfully orders Oliver to be not such a pussy and they engage in a passionate and wild encounter of sex,

Finish:

finding joy and temporary solace in each other’s arms. Marie mumbles she feels like knowing him since a long time before she falls asleep.

Open Loop: Is this going to last ./. one night stand ?
Mystery: Do they have a history? He never had a girlfriend in home town; and she s too young.
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Oliver’s traumata of restlessness and insomnia

INT. APARTMENT – MARIE – NIGHT

Start:

After their encounter,

Challenging Situation:

Oliver is restless and

Conflict:

unable to sleep.

Action:

He gets dressed, leaves the apartment, and

Finish:

embarks on a restless night.

Open Loop: Is Oliver coming back?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress: rest/ restless , tired / insomnia
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: The Marie and Oliver journey of trust

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – BACK SALON – NIGHT – Hidden Agenda

Start:

Oliver walks the streets,

Challenging Situation:

seeking a quiet moment to gather his thoughts.

Conflict:

Not possible

Action:

Suddenly, he begins walking briskly

Finish:

in a particular direction.

Open Loop: What is he after?
Mystery: Why is he running around in the middle of the night?
Empathy/Distress: lover/ son/ cop
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup:

ACT 5: RESTLESS NIGHT

INT. PARENTS’ HOME – NIGHT – Mystery / Strange Behavior

Start:

Oliver reenters the house, determined for a specific direction.

Challenging Situation:

He heads to the bedroom where his mother was found dead,

Conflict

placing himself on the bed, inhaling the room and inspecting the surroundings.

Action:

He checks the nightstand on his father’s side, contemplates how his mother’s body was moved into the bedroom, and searches through closets and sideboards. Oliver’s frustration grows as he finds no substantial leads. He rewinds the answering machine, listens to the messages, and searches other rooms of the house.

Finish:

Feeling defeated, Oliver gives up and exits the house.

Open Loop: What is he going to do next ?
Mystery: It feels obvious to Oliver that something is off, but he can’t put a fingertip on it
Empathy/Distress: son / cop // cop Son
Payoff: His determination and allowance to ask the universe for assistance
Irony: a cop talking to the universe?
Setup: Oliver and his relation to the Quanten theory and Buddha

EXT. PARENTS’ HOME – NIGHT – Secret Identity

Start:

Oliver locks the house,

Challenging Situation:

preparing to walk away,

Conflict:

but something stops him in his tracks. The answer has been sent

Action:

Oliver reenters the house.

Finish:

Door closes behind him.

Open Loop:
Mystery: Oliver really talks to the universe?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: esoteric tools to handle crime

INT. PARENTS’ HOME – NIGHT – Mystery

Start:

Oliver returns to his mother’s desk, sits down, doing nothing. Tens his eyes …

Challenging Situation:

noticing a missing drawer on the right-hand side.

Conflict:

He explores further, finding a hidden compartment inside the drawer containing a diary.

Action:

Oliver reads – with his mother’s voice – the final entries aloud, expressing her suspicions about how she might not survive the own families attacks, she fears for deaths.

Finish:

The weight of the situation is evident on Oliver’s face.

Open Loop: Oliver is talking to the universe asking for answers, really.
Mystery: His mother is writing in her diary that she fears for her live because of her own family
Empathy/Distress: Buddhist / Cop
Payoff: allow others to help you
Irony:
Setup: Oliver will have to investigate this family and unveil what happened to his mother and maybe father as well
Jan Fantl

Member
July 2, 2023 at 11:06 am in reply to: Lesson 11
Jan’s Scene Requirements…

WIL: to analyze each scene again and find if in some there were the structure incomplete, work to complete and check for missing conflicts et al.

EXT. WAR ZONE – DAY

Start:

A SOLDIER drinks from his canteen as a child approaches, mimicking the drinking sign.

Challenging Situation:

OLIVER signals over the intercom for the soldier to keep the child at a safe distance.

Conflict:

The soldier ignores the warning and

Action:

is ambushed by the child, who turns out to be a suicide bomber. Oliver orders his team to apprehend the accomplices.

Finish:

Oliver rushes to the injured soldier, trying to keep him alive.

EXT. MILITARY CAMP – IN FRONT OF POLICE BUILDING – DAY

Start:

Oliver wakes up from a dream, disturbed and agitated.

Challenging Situation:

His AIDE calls him in to continue an interrogation,

Conflict:

knowing that Oliver has these recurring dreams.

Action:

They walk back in

ACT 1: TRAVEL

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM – DAY

Start: Oliver interrogates MAHMOUD, a captured individual with indications of triggering the ambush.

Challenging Situation:

During the interrogation, Oliver is discreetly informed that the soldier did not survive the attack.

Conflict:

Oliver uses this information to accuse Mahmoud of murder, but Mahmoud remains unimpressed and unresponsive.

Action:

When the soldier turns to whisper in Oliver’s ear, Mahmoud seizes the opportunity to attack. Oliver restrains the guard at the door and convinces Mahmoud to back down. Mahmoud is led away

Finish:

as another soldier arrives, requesting Oliver’s presence to see his commanding officer.

EXT. MILITARY CAMP – DAY

Start:

Oliver walks with his aide,

Challenging Situation:

discussing the lack of response to his previous complaint.

Conflict:

He expresses disappointment that his squad is assigned to guard German soldiers involved in questionable activities, such as organize cocaine transports for pharmaceutical companies.

Finish:

Talking into the HQ

INT. CAMP HQ – OFFICE – DAY

Start:

The COMMANDING OFFICER informs Oliver that he is being released to travel home.

Challenging Situation:

Oliver is surprised, thinking it’s related to his complaints, but it’s personal news.

Conflict:

His father has passed away, and he is being granted leave to assist his mother with the funeral arrangements.

Action:

Oliver falls silent, processing the news.

Finish/ Start:

Oliver is being dismissed,

Challenging Situation:

with the advise to stay as long as it takes.

INT. CAMP HQ – TRAVEL MANAGEMENT – DAY

Conflict:

Oliver and his aide learn that the next available passenger flight is in two days.

EXT. CAMP – DAY

Action:

Oliver asks his aide to explore any options for an earlier departure.

Aide leaves, Oliver on his bed, alone, no tears.

INT. TENT/BARRACK – OLIVER – DAY

Start:

Oliver packs his belongings and tries to reach his mother on his satellite phone,

Challenging Situation:

but she doesn’t answer or there is no signal.

Conflict:

His aide enters and informs him of a flight departing in a few minutes, a cargo flight carrying damaged goods back to Germany.

Action:

Oliver seizes the opportunity and accepts the flight.

Finish:

They run

EXT. AIRFIELD – DAWN

Start:

Oliver asks his aide

Challenging Situation:

to ensure the assassin is kept well and alive until

Conflict:

his return in 5-6 days to continue the interrogation despite the funeral

Action:

Aide is not convinced but agrees

Finish:

Oliver phone rings

EXT. AIRFIELD – CARGO PLANE – DAWN

Start:

Aide points at Olivers pocket, his satellite phone rings, and it’s his mother, FREDDIE.

Challenging Situation:

The connection is noisy, but Oliver gathers that something is amiss. He reassures her that he will be there in a couple of hours, and they can talk about everything then.

Conflict:

Now he needs to finish this call as the cargo plane’s door closes,

Action:

Oliver rushes inside,

Finish:

ending the call.

INT. CARGO PLANE – DARK

(Optional – Not sure if needed)

EXT. AIRFIELD GERMANY – NIGHT

Start:

Unfavorable weather greets Oliver as he disembarks the plane.

Challenging Situation:

He approaches a soldier and inquires about nearby accommodations for a shower and some rest.

Conflict:

There is none The soldier recommends the 9-Inn.

Action:

Oliver leaves

INT. THE 9 INN – NIGHT

Start:

Oliver requests a room and

Challenging Situation:

is given an exorbitant price for a short stay, as the establishment charges by the 30-minute increment.

Conflict:

After explaining his situation of coming from a war zone and needing rest before seeing his mother,

Action:

Oliver is granted a “hero’s rebate” with the understanding

Finish:

that he won’t require any extra services.

INT. ROOM WITH A BED – DARK

Start:

Oliver emerges from the shower, his tiredness evident.

Challenging Situation:

He struggles with his heavy backpack, revealing a gunshot wound or a scar on his arm, a testament to his past experiences.

Conflict:

Exhausted, he glances at his phone and watch,

Action:

rubs his face, and

Finish:

falls asleep.

INT. ROOM WITH A BED – DARK

Start:

Oliver is restless in his sleep, bumping into someone’s arm and

Challenging Situation:

immediately becoming alert. XENIA, a semi-attractive pro, reassures him. Despite Oliver’s initial request for no services,

Conflict:

she explains that they needed the bed for her to rest after dealing with a difficult client. Nothing happened between them.

Action:

Oliver realizes it’s already morning and rushes to leave, offering Xenia €50 for driving him to the nearest car rental,

Finish:

which she accepts.

ACT 2: ARRIVAL

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – DAY

Start:

Oliver drives into town,

Challenging Situation:

taking in the sights of a place

Conflict:

he hasn’t been in a long time.

Action:

His GPS guides him and announces

Finish:

200 meters to final address.

EXT. HOME STREET – OLIVER

Start:

He misses the house, and as he gets out of the car, he runs into PETRA, who is about to lock up.

Challenging Situation:

They immediately clash, and just as Oliver’s GENERAL calls, he tries to delay the conversation.

Conflict:

After Petra insists, Oliver shows her his military ID to introduce himself.

Action:

Petra informs him of his mother’s passing the previous night.

Finish:

Neighbors heard a window constantly in the wind and called police.

INT. HOME – OLIVER

Challenging Situation:

Oliver’s homecoming is marred by tension and loneliness.

Conflict:

Petra denies him access to the house and

Action:

refuses to leave him with the keys.

Finish:

Oliver is stunned.

ACT 3: DOORS SHUT

EXT. HOME STREET – DAY

Start:

Oliver sits alone on the doorsteps, contemplating his next move.

Challenging Situation:

He receives another call from his general, discussing

Conflict:

his suspicions about his parents’ deaths and his determination to uncover the truth.

Action:

The general assures him of support if needed.

Finish:

Oliver decides to clear his mind first.

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – DAY

Oliver walks through the town, unfamiliar with the buildings and feeling disconnected from his former home.

INT. RESIDENTS’ REGISTRATION OFFICE – DAY

Start:

Oliver visits the registry office to confirm his residency,

Challenging Situation:

but they are unable to find him in their digital records as they -digitally -only go back to 2009 and the file-files are with the digitizing company.

Conflict:

The REGISTRATION LADY, whose name tag shows her family name as Wind, sympathizes with his loss but can’t provide assistance without the required documents.

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – DAY

Start:

Oliver continues his search for answers, contacting the military police HQ in Germany

Challenging Situation:

to check his files and residency history. They promise to call him back with the information.

Conflict:

Oliver checks Google and finds contacts for his uncle, HANS WIND,

Action:

whom he decides to call.

INT. TOWN HALL OFFICE – DAY

Start:

Over finds contacts for the next close relative. Uncle Hans knows details about his father’s accidental death at the shipyard and expresses condolences.

Challenging Situation:

He offers to meet the following day to mourn together, as he is out of town, discuss the funeral, and catch up on family matters.

Conflict:

It’s clearly a lie. He is in town, and across from him sits Clarice, observing Hans as he speaks.

Action:

After ending the call, they share a glance, wondering

Finish:

what their next move should be.

INT. REGISTRY OFFICE – DAY

Start:

Oliver meets with the registry office,

Challenging Situation:

asks for a certificate of residence

Conflict:

but they can’t provide assistance without specific documents, such as an apartment confirmation signed by his parents.

Action:

They sympathize with his loss

Finish:

but can’t bend the rules.

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – DAY

Start:

Oliver receives a call from the coroner’s office,

Challenging Situation:

returning his call, regarding his mother’s body.

Conflict:

They refuse to speak to him without a power of attorney

Action:

and abruptly end the call.

Finish:

Frustrated, Oliver realizes that the authorities won’t cooperate easily.

INT. BANK – DAY

Start

Oliver visits his mother’s bank

Challenging Situation:

and inquires what he will need to get authority about and for her accounts.

Conflict:

The BANK CLERK, whose name tag again bears the name Wind, refuses to provide any information without a valid power of attorney.

Action:

They express condolences

Finish:

but remain firm.

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – DAY

Start:

Oliver receives a call from the military HQ,

Challenging Situation:

stating they couldn’t find any documents related to his previous residency.

Conflict:

Disheartened,

Action:

surrounded by masses of residents walking around him Oliver contemplates his next steps

Finish:

sitting there and lonesome on the market square of his home town.

EXT. STREET NEAR TOPPER CAR COMPOUND – DAY

Start:

Oliver’s attention is caught by a large car dealer compound

Challenging Situation:

with the name “Toll, Top, Topper.” He looks at it with disdain,

Conflict:

particularly at a man named JÜRGEN, who appears to be involved with the customers.

Action:

Oliver turns away,

Finish:

feeling a sense of disgust.

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – DAY

Start:
Challenging Situation:
Conflict:
Action:
Finish:

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – DAY

Start:
Challenging Situation:
Conflict:
Action:
Finish:

Oliver unlocks his rental car and drives away.

EXT. SHIPYARD WIND – DAY

Start:

Oliver finds Siggi, Helge’s long time right-hand man at the shipyard,

Challenging Situation:

Siggi shares information with Oliver. He talks about the shipyard deal and

Conflict:

his observations in the last 4-6 weeks, hinting at something suspicious.

Action:

Oliver asks for more details

Finish:

and Siggi leads him towards the jetties

EXT. SHIPYARD – YACHT & SAILING CLUB – DAY

Start:

Siggi shows Oliver the spot

Challenging Situation:

where the accident supposedly occurred,

Conflict:

involving his father falling into the lake.

Action:

Oliver looks around , the jetty , the boats. Oliver is about to walk away,

Finish: /Start:

When Siggi recognizes a boat coming in

Challenging Situation:

CLARICE, who identifies herself as Oliver’s cousin, appears and invites him to visit her and her father, Johan Feuer-Wind.

Conflict:

Clarice is unaware of Oliver’s mother’s passing, and he realizes the family is not on the same page.

Action:

Clarice departs and Oliver checks the time and realizes the time of his mother’s scheduled appointment at the notary’s office.

Finish:

Back on land Oliver turns and checks the jetty again with a thoughtful look.

INT. OFFICE – NOTARY WAITING ROOM – DAY

Start:

Oliver requests to wait in the notary’s office for his mother,

Challenging Situation:

despite the secretary attempts to shoo him away. Oliver insists on staying,

Conflict:

and when the secretary goes to inform the notary,

Action:

she returns with the notary. Oliver has news.

Finish:

His mother passed away in the early morning.

INT. OFFICE – NOTARY STUDY – DAY

Start:

The notary, a close friend of “Freddie,”

Challenging Situation:

offers Oliver a summary of the events leading up to her passing.

Conflict:

Oliver becomes firmer to question the peacefulness of both his parents’ deaths, and the notary somehow does not disagree. And

Action:

the notary suggests Oliver should stay in town until the will is read to the family. He urges to investigate further and stay. And then he hands Oliver a power of attorney that Oliver’s mother signed, just hours before her passing,

Finish:

granting him authority to handle her affairs.

ACT 4: BRAWL & SEX

EXT. LAKE DISTRICT – HIGHWAY – DAY

Start:

Oliver drives car in nice landscape Lake Dstrict

INT. GOYATZ POLICE STATION – DAY

Challenging Situation:

Checking in, Oliver introduces himself and presents his PoA, Oliver receives intel about the accident,

Conflict:

but police does not see anything else than an accident.

Action:

Oliver files a request to see his father in the morgue and that he will file for an examination by the public prosecutor. Has asks for intel how to inform both police districts about to have knowledge about both deaths of his parent at two different places within 59 hours.

Finish:

Oliver announces to be back next day.

EXT. LAKE DISTRICT -View at SHIPYARD – SUNSET / BLUE HOUR

Start:

Oliver drives

Challenging Situation:

by the lake, stops the car.

Conflict:

his gaze fixed on the shipyard that belonged to his parents.

Action:

Oliver just stares. Other pictures in his head than what he sees.

Finish:

No tears. He gets out of the car and starts kicking and fighting trees.

EXT. POLICE HQ – NIGHT

Start:

Oliver presents the power of attorney at the police headquarters,

Challenging Situation:

requesting access to his parents’ home and to see Petra.

Conflict:

Petra is not present, and they wont tell him.

Action:

Oliver offers two solutions, he will call military police and ask for assistance and they will know where she is or they call her and ask for permission to tell ´him the location. They do and

Finish:

Petra agrees to see her on a crime scene as she still carries the keys on her.

EXT. CLOSE TO POLICE CRIME SCENE- NIGHT

Start:

Oliver arrive at crime scene, presenting his police ID requests to see Petra.

Challenging Situation:

Oliver presents his PoA again and receives keys. Petra challenges him

Conflict:

Why is he so into finding a crime about his parents passing? Is he so war traumatized that every corpse means a killing. Petra has no idea which boobytrap she just tapped in.

Action:

Oliver gives her the big picture what he’s found so far within less than one day. Father and mother died within 59 hours, in two police districts. His father fell from a ladder on a jetty where is nothing to work at from a ladder, and fell into water and drowned with two broken tight. So either you fall onto the jetty and break your bones but then you are on the jetty. Or you fall into the water and break probably nothing. His mother was fully dressed yet not on her bedside but his fathers, why would she do that, if she didn’t leave a letter? He adds 2-3 more indications and resumes, he would see enough initial suspicion to trigger an investigation. And he will.

Finish:

Oliver walks away, wishes Petra good luck with her crime scene, he would wish he would not have to go to THE crime scene he is going to.

INT. PARENTS’ HOME – NIGHT

Start:

Oliver finally opens the door to his parents home.

INT. PARENTS’ HOME – NIGHT

Challenging Situation:

Oliver walks the rooms

INT. PARENTS’ HOME – NIGHT

Conflict:

Oliver walks into the bedroom

INT. PARENTS’ HOME – NIGHT

Action:

Oliver decides to leaves quickly

INT. PARENTS’ HOME – NIGHT

Finish:

Oliver leaves – no results, impressions only

INT. PROSECUTOR’S OFFICE – NIGHT

Start:

Oliver presents the power of attorney and

Challenging Situation:

files for the prevention of his mother’s body release, demanding an official examination.

Conflict:

The authorities require a „different“ validation of the power of attorney,

Action:

leaving Oliver frustrated and

Finish:

uncertain about his next move.

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – BACK SALON – NIGHT

Start:

Walking with anger subsiding, Oliver ponders his options.

Challenging Situation:

Oliver sees a nightlife pub,

Conflict:

hesitating but ultimately seeking solace.

Action:

Oliver decides and walks and

Finish:

enters a nightlife pub BACK SALON.

INT. BACK SALON – NIGHT

Start:

Oliver finds himself among a few guests at the bar, attempts to calm down after this tumultuous day.

Challenging Situation:

Two groups of men arrive, seeking Oliver’s opinion and provoking a confrontation.

Conflict:

Oliver sees the conflict and tries to manage to avoid it but the guys leave no way out and it escalates into a 4 against 1 brawl.

Action:

Despite the outnumbering odds, Oliver fights without causing much damage to the bar. As the assailants flee, Oliver seizes their wallets before tending to his knife wound. MARIE, the bartender, thanks him for taking a stand and tends to his injury.

Finish:

They engage in conversation, and Oliver asks Marie for a recommendation for a simple hotel. Marie offers her own room above the bar for him to stay.

INT. APARTMENT – MARIE – NIGHT

Start:

Oliver and Marie bump through the door already kissing

Challenging Situation:

and wildly into each others undressing

Conflict:

While Marie bumps all the time into the fresh bandaged wound which makes Oliver groan.

Action:

Marie playfully orders Oliver to be not such a pussy and they engage in a passionate and wild encounter of sex,

Finish:

finding joy and temporary solace in each other’s arms.

INT. APARTMENT – MARIE – NIGHT

Start:

After their encounter,

Challenging Situation:

Oliver is restless and

Conflict:

unable to sleep.

Action:

He gets dressed, leaves the apartment, and

Finish:

embarks on a restless night.

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – BACK SALON – NIGHT

Start:

Oliver walks the streets,

Challenging Situation:

seeking solace and a quiet moment to gather his thoughts.

Conflict: Not possible

Action:

Suddenly, he begins walking briskly

Finish:

in a particular direction.

ACT 5: RESTLESS NIGHT

INT. PARENTS’ HOME – NIGHT

Start:

Oliver reenters the house, determined for a specific direction.

Challenging Situation:

He heads to the bedroom where his mother was found dead,

Conflict

placing himself on the bed, inhaling the room and inspecting the surroundings.

Action:

He checks the nightstand on his father’s side, contemplates how his mother’s body was moved into the bedroom, and searches through closets and sideboards. Oliver’s frustration grows as he finds no substantial leads. He rewinds the answering machine, listens to the messages, and searches other rooms of the house.

Finish:

Feeling defeated, Oliver gives up and exits the house.

EXT. PARENTS’ HOME – NIGHT

Start:

Oliver locks the house,

Challenging Situation:

preparing to walk away,

Conflict:

but something stops him in his tracks.

Action:

Oliver reenters the house.

Finish:

Door closes behind him

INT. PARENTS’ HOME – NIGHT

Start:

Oliver returns to his mother’s desk, sits down

Challenging Situation:

noticing a missing drawer on the right-hand side.

Conflict:

He explores further, finding a hidden compartment inside the drawer containing a diary.

Action:

Oliver reads the final entries aloud, expressing his suspicions about his parents’ deaths.

Finish:

The weight of the situation is evident on Oliver’s face.
- This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by Jan Fantl.
Jan Fantl

Member
July 1, 2023 at 8:00 pm in reply to: Lesson 10
WAR

EXT. WAR ZONE – DAY

A SOLDIER drinks from his canteen as a child approaches, mimicking the drinking sign. OLIVER signals over the intercom for the soldier to keep the child at a safe distance. The soldier ignores the warning and is ambushed by the child, who turns out to be a suicide bomber. Oliver orders his team to apprehend the accomplices. Oliver rushes to the injured soldier, trying to keep him alive.

EXT. MILITARY CAMP – IN FRONT OF POLICE BUILDING – DAY

Oliver wakes up from a dream, disturbed and agitated. His AIDE calls him in to continue an interrogation, knowing that Oliver has these recurring dreams.

ACT 1: TRAVEL

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM – DAY

Oliver interrogates MAHMOUD, a captured individual with indications of triggering the ambush. During the interrogation, Oliver is discreetly informed that the soldier did not survive the attack. Oliver uses this information to accuse Mahmoud of murder, but Mahmoud remains unimpressed and unresponsive. When the soldier turns to whisper in Oliver’s ear, Mahmoud seizes the opportunity to attack. Oliver restrains the guard at the door and convinces Mahmoud to back down. Mahmoud is led away as another soldier arrives, requesting Oliver’s presence to see his commanding officer.

EXT. MILITARY CAMP – DAY

Oliver walks with his aide, discussing the lack of response to his previous complaint. He expresses disappointment that his squad is assigned to guard German soldiers involved in questionable activities, such as organize cocaine transports for pharmaceutical companies.

INT. CAMP HQ – OFFICE – DAY

The COMMANDING OFFICER informs Oliver that he is being released to travel home. Oliver is surprised, thinking it’s related to his complaints, but it’s personal news. His father has passed away, and he is being granted leave to assist his mother with the funeral arrangements. Oliver falls silent, processing the news.

INT. CAMP HQ – TRAVEL MANAGEMENT – DAY

Oliver and his aide learn that the next available passenger flight is in two days.

EXT. CAMP – DAY

Oliver asks his aide to explore any options for an earlier departure.

INT. TENT/BARRACK – OLIVER – DAY

Oliver packs his belongings and tries to reach his mother on his satellite phone, but she doesn’t answer or there is no signal. His aide enters and informs him of a flight departing in a few minutes, a cargo flight carrying damaged goods back to Germany. Oliver seizes the opportunity and accepts the flight.

EXT. AIRFIELD – DAWN

Oliver asks his aide to ensure the assassin is kept well and alive until his return in 5-6 days to continue the interrogation.

EXT. AIRFIELD – CARGO PLANE – DAWN

Oliver’s satellite phone rings, and it’s his mother, FREDDIE. The connection is noisy, but Oliver gathers that something is amiss. He reassures her that he will be there in a couple of hours, and they can talk about everything then. As the cargo plane’s door closes, Oliver rushes inside, ending the call.

INT. CARGO PLANE – DARK

(Optional – Not sure if needed)

EXT. AIRFIELD GERMANY – NIGHT

Unfavorable weather greets Oliver as he disembarks the plane. He approaches a soldier and inquires about nearby accommodations for a shower and some rest. The soldier recommends the 9-Inn.

INT. THE 9 INN – NIGHT

Oliver requests a room and is given an exorbitant price for a short stay, as the establishment charges by the 30-minute increment. After explaining his situation of coming from a war zone and needing rest before seeing his mother, Oliver is granted a “hero’s rebate” with the understanding that he won’t require any extra services.

INT. ROOM WITH A BED – DARK

Oliver emerges from the shower, his tiredness evident. He struggles with his heavy backpack, revealing a gunshot wound or a scar on his arm, a testament to his past experiences. Exhausted, he glances at his phone and watch, rubs his face, and falls asleep.

INT. ROOM WITH A BED – DARK

Oliver is restless in his sleep, bumping into someone’s arm and immediately becoming alert. XENIA, a semi-attractive pro, reassures him. Despite Oliver’s initial request for no services, she explains that they needed the bed for her to rest after dealing with a difficult client. Nothing happened between them. Oliver realizes it’s already morning and rushes to leave, offering Xenia €50 for driving him to the nearest car rental, which she accepts.

ACT 2: ARRIVAL

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – DAY

Oliver drives into town, taking in the sights of a place he hasn’t been in a long time. His GPS guides him to his address.

EXT. HOME STREET – OLIVER

He misses the house, and as he gets out of the car, he runs into PETRA, who is about to lock up. They immediately clash, and just as Oliver’s GENERAL calls, he tries to delay the conversation. After Petra insists, Oliver shows her his military ID to introduce himself. Petra informs him of his mother’s passing the previous night. Neighbors heard a window constantly in the wind and called police.

INT. HOME – OLIVER

Oliver’s homecoming is marred by tension and loneliness. Petra denies him access to the house and refuses to leave him with the keys. Oliver is stunned.

ACT 3: DOORS SHUT

EXT. HOME STREET – DAY

Oliver sits alone on the doorsteps, contemplating his next move. He calls his general, discussing his suspicions about his parents’ deaths and his determination to uncover the truth. The general assures him of support if needed. Oliver decides to clear his mind first.

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – DAY

Oliver walks through the town, unfamiliar with the buildings and feeling disconnected from his former home.

INT. RESIDENTS’ REGISTRATION OFFICE – DAY

Oliver visits the registry office to confirm his residency, but they are unable to find him in their digital records as they -digitally -only go back to 2009 and the file-files are with the digitizing company. The REGISTRATION LADY, whose name tag shows her family name as Wind, sympathizes with his loss but can’t provide assistance without the required documents.

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – DAY

Oliver continues his search for answers, contacting the military police HQ in Germany to check his files and residency history. They promise to call him back with the information. Oliver checks Google and finds contacts for his uncle, HANS WIND, whom he decides to call.

INT. TOWN HALL OFFICE – DAY

Over finds contacts for the next close relative. Uncle Hans knows details about his father’s accidental death at the shipyard and expresses condolences. He offers to meet the following day to mourn together, as he is out of town, discuss the funeral, and catch up on family matters. It’s clearly a lie. He is in town, and across from him sits Clarice, observing Hans as he speaks. After ending the call, they share a glance, wondering what their next move should be.

INT. REGISTRY OFFICE – DAY

Oliver meets with the registry office, but they can’t provide assistance without specific documents, such as an apartment confirmation signed by his parents. They sympathize with his loss but can’t bend the rules.

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – DAY

Oliver receives a call from the coroner’s office, returning his call, regarding his mother’s body. They refuse to speak to him without a power of attorney and abruptly end the call. Frustrated, Oliver realizes that the authorities won’t cooperate easily.

INT. BANK

Oliver visits his mother’s bank and inquires about her accounts. The BANK CLERK, whose name tag again bears the name Wind, refuses to provide information without a valid power of attorney. They express condolences but remain firm.

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – DAY

Oliver receives a call from the military HQ, stating they couldn’t find any documents related to his previous residency. Disheartened, Oliver contemplates his next steps.

EXT. STREET NEAR TOPPER CAR COMPOUND – DAY

Oliver’s attention is caught by a large car dealer compound with the name “Toll, Top, Topper.” He looks at it with disdain, particularly at a man named JÜRGEN, who appears to be involved with the customers. Oliver turns away, feeling a sense of disgust.

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – DAY

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – DAY

Oliver unlocks his rental car and drives away.

EXT. SHIPYARD WIND – DAY

Siggi, Helge’s right-hand man at the shipyard, shares information with Oliver. He talks about the shipyard deal and his observations in the last 4-6 weeks, hinting at something suspicious.

EXT. SHIPYARD – YACHT & SAILING CLUB – DAY

Siggi shows Oliver the spot where the accident supposedly occurred, involving his father falling into the lake.

CLARICE, who identifies herself as Oliver’s cousin, appears and invites him to visit her and her father, Johan Feuer-Wind. Clarice is unaware of Oliver’s mother’s passing, and he realizes the family is not on the same page.

After Clarice departs, Oliver checks the time and realizes he has a scheduled appointment at the notary’s office.

INT. OFFICE – NOTARY – DAY

Oliver tries to wait in the notary’s office for his mother, but the secretary attempts to shoo him away. Oliver insists on staying, and when the secretary goes to inform the notary, she returns with the notary , Oliver has news. His mother passed away in the early morning.

The notary, a close friend of “Freddie,” offers Oliver a summary of the events leading up to her passing. Oliver questions the peacefulness of both his parents’ deaths, and the notary suggests he stay in town until the will is read to the family. He urges to investigate further and stay in town.

And the he reveals the existence of a power of attorney that Oliver’s mother signed, just hours before her passing, granting him authority to handle her affairs.

ACT 4: BRAWL & SEX

EXT. LAKE DISTRICT – HIGHWAY – DAY

EXT. GOYATZ POLICE STATION – DAY

Checking in, presenting his PoA, Oliver receives intel about the accident, but police do not see anything else.

INT. GOYATZ POLICE STATION – DAY

EXT. LAKE & SHIPYARD – SUNSET / BLUE HOUR

Oliver drives by the lake, his gaze fixed on the shipyard that belonged to his parents.

EXT. POLICE HQ – NIGHT

Oliver presents the power of attorney at the police headquarters, requesting access to his parents’ home. Petra is not present, he needs to find her on a crime scene as she still carries the keys on her.

INT. PARENTS’ HOME – NIGHT

SEARCH

INT. PARENTS’ HOME – NIGHT

INT. PARENTS’ HOME – NIGHT

INT. PARENTS’ HOME – NIGHT

INT. PROSECUTOR’S OFFICE – NIGHT

Oliver presents the power of attorney and files for the prevention of his mother’s body release, demanding an official examination. The authorities require a „different“ validation of the power of attorney, leaving Oliver frustrated and uncertain about his next move.

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – NIGHT

Walking with anger subsiding, Oliver ponders his options.

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – BACK SALON – NIGHT

Oliver enters a nightlife pub, hesitating but ultimately seeking solace.

INT. BACK SALON

Oliver finds himself among a few guests at the bar, attempting to calm down after a tumultuous day. Two groups of men arrive, seeking Oliver’s opinion and provoking a confrontation. Oliver tries to avoid the conflict, but it escalates into a 4 against 1 brawl. Despite the outnumbering odds, Oliver fights without causing much damage to the bar. As the assailants flee, Oliver seizes their wallets before tending to his knife wound. MARIE, the bartender, thanks him for taking a stand and tends to his injury. They engage in conversation, and Oliver asks Marie for a recommendation for a simple hotel. Marie offers her own room above the bar for him to stay.

INT. APARTMENT – MARIE – NIGHT

Oliver and Marie engage in a passionate and intimate encounter, finding temporary solace in each other’s arms.

INT. APARTMENT – MARIE – NIGHT

After their encounter, Oliver is restless and unable to sleep. He gets dressed, leaves the apartment, and embarks on a restless night.

EXT. COTTBUS STREETS – BACK SALON – NIGHT

Oliver walks the streets, seeking solace and a quiet moment to gather his thoughts. Suddenly, he begins walking briskly in a particular direction.

ACT 5: RESTLESS NIGHT

INT. PARENTS’ HOME – NIGHT

Oliver reenters the house, unsure of where to begin his search. He heads to the bedroom where his mother was found dead, inhaling the room and inspecting the surroundings. He checks the nightstand on his father’s side, contemplates how his mother’s body was moved into the bedroom, and searches through closets and sideboards. Oliver’s frustration grows as he finds no substantial leads. He rewinds the answering machine, listens to the messages, and searches other rooms of the house. Feeling defeated, Oliver gives up and exits the house.

EXT. PARENTS’ HOME – NIGHT

Oliver locks the house, preparing to walk away, but something stops him in his tracks. He reenters the house.

INT. PARENTS’ HOME – NIGHT

Oliver returns to his mother’s desk, noticing a missing drawer on the right-hand side. He explores further, finding a hidden compartment inside the drawer containing a diary. Oliver reads the final entries aloud, expressing his suspicions about his parents’ deaths. The weight of the situation is evident on Oliver’s face.
- This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by Jan Fantl.
- This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by Jan Fantl.
Jan Fantl

Member
June 26, 2023 at 7:55 pm in reply to: Lesson 9

Jan’s Set ups for future episodes (hints)

WIL: to grapple through the whole idea and storylines of 5 seasons and use or create preparation for it in the Pilot and introduce characters in the Pilot that so far been presented later.

Oliver is traumatized.

Oliver is dissatisfied with politically incorrect procedures in his squad.

He complains to the government about inappropriate military duties.

Oliver feels guilty for not complete his trip to his mother, as she may still be alive.

Petra and Oliver will continuously be on odds in this case.

The General makes a call. (NEW)

Uncle Hans is involved in something where Oliver might become an obstacle.

No one in town offers Oliver assistance.

Siggi tells Oliver about his father and his ambiguous observations in the last 4-6 weeks (shipyard deal). NEW

The notary offers assistance and ask Oliver to stay until the will is opened

Gabrielle calls and offers help (cover-up for the meta bad girl & S2).

Who are all these family members in town?

Clarice shows up at the shipyard and invites him to meet her and her father, Johan. NEW

As Oliver recognizes the car dealer compound he is walking towards, he stops, turns, and walks away (Jürgen). NEW

Oliver becomes involved in a staged bar brawl: why, and who is behind it?

Marie takes care of Oliver.

– Oliver discovers his mother’s actual diary.

– Will Oliver uncover the truth and survive?

– Will he be able to expose the water mill deal and prevent it?

– Will Oliver and Marie make it?

– Can Oliver solve the old case that tarnished his reputation?
Jan Fantl

Member
June 19, 2023 at 8:58 pm in reply to: Lesson 8

Jan’s Adding Empathy/Distress!

WIL: What can I say, you are forcing me over my limits and I love it.

Bring their wound present:

In the field, Oliver stresses to himself, “Focus, focus, you must focus.”

Plans that fail:

He urges the soldier from afar to focus on the child and not allow it to come near. However, the soldier fails and offers the child his water bottle, resulting in both the soldier and the car being bombed and going up in flames.
Witnessing the pain of others: Oliver witnesses the soldier being ambushed and holds him while ordering others to catch the assassins.

Trapped:

Oliver is trapped between situations as he wants to leave but needs to stay. It is unclear who put him into this situation, but Hans, Gabrielle, the notary, and Marie are all potential suspects.

Betrayal/Violation of trust:

Oliver experiences betrayal from Hans at the age of 17, leading him to run away.

He also was betrayed by Jürgen, who ran away and left him alone with their best friend dying. And is father didn’t believe him when it got existential.

…. and there may be additional betrayals yet to be revealed.

Forced decision:

Oliver is faced with the decision of whether to confront his own family particularly Uncle Hans, about their involvement in the conspiracy surrounding his parents’ deaths. He must decide whether to confront them directly, or to let go of his pursuit for justice and move on with his life.

Hurt those they love:

Marie falls in love with Stephanie and cheats on Oliver.

Stephanie doesn’t tell Oliver that she is forced to spy on him, causing emotional turmoil for Oliver.

He opens up about his father and Uncle Hans, who were the main characters that didn’t believe him when the car accident happened.

Oliver also reveals how he was abused as a child under the supervision of Uncle Hans.

Emotional Dilemma:

Oliver is torn between his duties. He must navigate the conflict between his loyalty to the army and his desire to uncover the truth about his parents’ deaths. He must choose between following orders and following his personal quest for justice

Exposed:

It is uncertain who will expose Oliver as the boy who ran away and try to destroy his reputation. Clarice and Gabrielle are potential suspects, and Jürgen may also play a role in exposing Oliver.

Must make decisions with future consequences:

Oliver announces that he will stay as long as it takes to find the truth.

He decides to stay with Marie, despite accusations of incest from the rest of the family.

Oliver accepts his heritage and refuses to renew the shipyard deal, which has significant future consequences.

Uncle Hans – Violation of Trust :

When Oliver calls Uncle Hans, hoping for support and guidance with his parents passing, instead of offering assistance, Uncle Hans betrays Oliver’s trust by lying about his whereabouts and instantly speaking to others who are concerned about Oliver’s arrival.

Petra – Violation of Trust:

Looking at Petra, the detective investigating Oliver’s parents’ deaths, Oliver ask himself about a potential dilemma. Is she trapped between her duty to uncover the truth and some kind of pressure from a party he’s not aware of? When he asks, he gets a shitstorm. So, is he right?

General – Trapped: Oliver requests to may return to his team asap while he hides behind the parents passing the request to stay as ” as long as needed”
Jan Fantl

Member
June 18, 2023 at 6:55 pm in reply to: Lesson 7

3.7. Jan’s Mysteries and Open Loops

WIL: -/-/?

Main Mystery : Why did my parents die? <div>

Sub Mysteries:
Did Oliver’s father had really an accident ?

What happened to the mother next day?
I

f somebody had killed them, why?

Why did the mother change the will within a few hours?

Why did the mother set a PoA for Oliver who is most far away?

Why would some one send 4 tough next to start a fight?

Why kept mother her diary in a hidden place?

What is she saying in her diary about the Winds?

What is this all about the shipyard?

Main Open Loop: Can Oliver solve the death of his parents, unveil the truth and bring it to justice?

Sub Open Loops
Why does homicide behave so stubborn to see that there is a case? </div><div>

Why is Clarice showing up at the shipyard?

Why are all public offices and authorithies against Oliver?

Why is Uncle Hans lying right away ?

Why is the notary actually the only friendly person around?

3.7. Teaser: WAR

Essence: During his duty, Oliver’s patrol is ambushed by a child assassin, resulting in the death of a fellow soldier in his arms. </div><div>

TP 1 : Intriguing World: When Oliver’s patrol is ambushed by a child assassin, this results in the death of a fellow soldier in his arms and change his believe as a soldier.

(OL) Will the soldier in Oliver arms survive?

(OL) will the team catch one or all assassins?

TP 2: Startled from his daytime nightmare in the desert camp, Oliver must gather himself and continue the interrogation of the primary assassin of this fellow soldier.

O Opening : Marty is a loyal police officer in the field, but over time he started to question the work ethics in the army.

(OL) did he hear back from the military commissioner?

Act 1: TRAVEL

Essence: Interrupted during the interrogation, Oliver learns of his father’s sudden death and catches a cargo flight home with the help of his buddy. He briefly speaks to his mother on the phone, promising to listen to her full story upon their reunion.
The soldier did not survive, Oliver interrogates a murder. </div><div>

TP 1: Oliver receives the news of his father’s sudden death.

(OL) Oliver asks to keep the assassin in good shape, what will happen to the assassin when he returns?

(Opening O): Oliver is released to fly home for his father’s funeral

(OL) Has Oliver to wait two days for the next plane?

TP 2: Oliver’s buddy helps him catch a cargo flight to return home immediately.

M) Oliver speaks briefly with his mother on the phone, she wants to tell him something but on the way to the plane it is too loud.

(M) What information wanted his mother give him ?

(OL) will he get this intel in time?
TP3: Stranded at a cargo airfield, Oliver can’t get hold of his mum and chooses a motel to get some sleep, assuming his mother will be resting as well.

(O Dilemma:) Oliver needs rest and decides against driving that night.

Act 2: ARRIVAL

Essence: Essence: Oliver returns home and meets detective Petra, who informs him about his mother’s death but is unaware of his father’s demise. They explore the house together, and Oliver discovers his mother’s appointment with the notary. Despite his emotional state, Petra insists on proof of his identity before granting him access to his parents’ house. </div><div>

(O’s O) Oliver arrives home, meets detective Petra, who shares the news of his mother’s passing. They search the house, but Petra sees no signs of foul play. (

M) Oliver sees in a blink an appointment in his mother’s calendar that raises suspicions. However, Petra withholds the keys and denies him the opportunity to stay.

(M) What happened to Oliver’s mother?

TP1 : Oliver is not the son arriving to assist, suddenly he is all alone and on himself.

(P M) How come Oliver knew his mothers passing many hours before it happened?

(P O) Petra is ready to leave when an unknown individual approaches, questioning her presence. Although he identifies as Oliver Wind, there is no concrete proof that he is the woman’s son. With tensions rising, they walk through the house, and Oliver notices pictures of himself. Despite this, Petra refuses to let him stay, asserting her authority.

(OL) How can he get access to the house of his parents, and search it?

P TP 1: As Petra prepares to leave, Oliver asks about his father’s body, but she is clueless about it. She requests to show up at the investigation department.

(M) What happened to his father a day before his mother died?
(OL) How come homicide doesn’t know about this?

TP2 /Midpoint: Oliver sees and feels something „is off““ in the house and he defies the dismissive homicide department and embarks on a journey to uncover the truth. (He announces to investigate)

Main Open LOOP: Can Oliver solve the death of his parents, unveil the truth and bring it to justice?

Act 3: DOORS SHUT

Essence: Frustrated and alone in his hometown, Oliver encounters obstacles at the residents registration office due to lack of proof of identity and other public offices. He attempts to contact relatives, including Uncle Hans, but faces difficulties reaching them. He schedules an appointment for the following day and also contacts the police at his father’s workplace. </div>

<div>

O Dilemma: Feeling isolated in his own town, Oliver refuses to give up and takes proactive measures, visiting various public offices for assistance. While condolences are offered, he struggles to find anyone willing to provide immediate help.

(M) What happened in this town that all public offices and authorithies unwilling to listen or assist Oliver?
(

OL) Why is the banker stressing that he liked his mother but coldly friendly can’t help with out representation;

(OL) Why does homicide is so stubborn to see that there is a case?

(Hans O): Uncle Hans receives a call from Oliver, expressing condolences for his father’s death but postponing their meeting until the next day due to being out of town. He then informs Clarice, about Oliver’s arrival, leading to uncertainty about their next steps?

(OL) Why is Uncle Hans lying right away ?

P3: Nobody is ready to help instantly, he must halt to regain strength.

(Notary O) Oliver arrives at the notary’s office, initially facing resistance from the secretary. However, notary Muller intervenes and invites him into his office. Meeting Oliver first time.

O TP: In a surprising turn of events, Oliver is handed a recently signed power of attorney document by his mother, dated just one day prior, raising suspicions about her intentions.

(OL) Why is the notary actually the only friendly person around?

TP 4: Oliver is handed a freshly signed power of attorney document by his mother at the notary’s office, dated just one day before her death.

(OL) Why did the mother set a PoA for Oliver who is mostly so far away?

Act 4: BRAWL/ SEX

Oliver confronts the authorities with the power of attorney, gaining access to his home where he searches in frustration for answers. </div><div>

TP1: Oliver presents his Power of Attorney to the Petra, receives the keys to his parents house and announces: truth must and will be uncovered.

(OL) Why does Petra continues to be so stubborn to see that there is a case?

(O Major Conflict) Despite limited evidence and resistance from the authorities, Oliver becomes determined to uncover the truth behind his parents’ deaths, pushing forward in his investigation. And he files for an indictment against unknown

O shows up at the Prosecutor’s office and files for an obduction.

Uncle Hans is receives phone calls, Oliver is taking the town upside down.

(OL) Will Hans go into action to stop Oliver ?

TP 2: Additionally he calls military police and files for an administrative assistance procedure.
Oliver enters his parents home sits and takes a breath. He searches the house with no success.

(M) What has happened in this house ?
Oliver about to leave returns, no nothing?

(OL) How can he investigate, totally alone?

O TP3 : Oliver becomes involved in a – staged -bar brawl, sustaining injuries.

(OL) Who would send 4 tough guys to start a fight?

TP4: Marie, the bartender, comes to his aid and they share a passionate night together.

(Marie opening) Marie encounters Oliver at her nighttime job and is drawn to him, offering her support and inviting him to stay the night.

Turning Point 5: After their encounter, Oliver is restless and suffering from insomnia, he takes a walk in an attempt to find solace and peace of mind.

Act 5: RESTLESS NIGHT

Essence: Oliver searches his parents’ house again and uncovers a hidden compartment containing one of his mother’s diary. </div>

TP: Lock In: As he reads aloud from his mother’s diary, he shatters the illusion of her death: a peaceful dead, really?

(M)Why kept mother her diary in a hidden place?

(M) Why is she complaining in her diary about the Winds?

(OL) Why was his mother afraid of a b brutal end?
Jan Fantl

Member
June 18, 2023 at 3:42 pm in reply to: Lesson 5

Jan’s Layers and Reveals

WIL: fine tune and become more aware what’s in your pilot and what was maybe unclear

Actually all layers and reveals have been already in the Pilot structure and outline. And yet this class made is helpful to become more aware of what you are doing

Surface: Oliver is a great military officer <div>

Layer: Oliver is unsatisfied with the army ethical behavior

Layer 2: it appears Oliver had complained to the military commissioner the government

Layer 3: his general doubts whether Oliver is still a loyal soldier and good command officer and forces him to go to therapy

Layer 4 : The therapy unveils is a way to spy on Oliver

Layer 5 : Oliver is pressed to spy on his therapist as well

6: Oliver and Stephanie open up to each other and form a counter conspiracy;
Separately from each other they dribble in faked intel in tiny portions;
General is forced to accept Oliver as loyal officer and Stephanie to continue her scientific work on PTSD. (For now end of S1)

Different Layers

Surface : Oliver’s father died in a working place accident

Layer 1 : Harry Wind, father’s corpse, shows marks of forced contacts

Layer 2 : Harry was about to sign the deal to sell the shipyard;

Layer 3: Uncle Hans has sent Jürgen to convince to pull not back from the deal

Layer 4: Jürgen rattles the scaffolding Harry is standing on, Harry falls, is injured and Jürgen throws him and the scaffolding into the water, walking away and Harry dies with two broken legs, unable to swim

Layer 5: the two Albanian goons arrive a minute later watching Jürgen cars leave , see Harry dying, who they have been hired to kill. They decide to do nothing but cash in the fee for killing.

Layer 6: Clarice hired them for the dirty works. They didn’t kill the father but Hans’s driver(one of their gang) killed the mother – Frederike Wind – and know that Clarice was with him on site.

Surface: Marie is a bartender

Layer : she is Oliver’s cousin she learns after the first night stand

Layer: Marie is Uncle Hans’ daughter

Layer: Marie is an aspiring landscape photographer

Layer: Marie was in paid education at the Water Mill

Layer: she made the beauty shots for the Water mill campaign bak then;

Layer: Marie is the main heir of her farther

Layer: she is feeding eco activists with her landscape pics

Surface: Oliver comes home as a son to help his mother

Layer: his mother has passed on arrival

Layer: Oliver disagrees with homicide’s Petra bout the peaceful passing

Layer : Oliver makes Petra alert asking about his dad’s dead of which she doesn’t know ( district outside of her jurisdiction)

Layer : Oliver starts to investigate

Layer: No one in town cares or is willing to assist

Layer: the power of attorney – handed by notary Mueller – gives Oliver all the authority to take care of business and to investigate

—- here I lack of pressure or an option lock for Oliver or threat;

Layer : Oliver finds his mother’s diary – with a sentence that his mother feared a forced death

Surface : Petra dismisses any doubts about Frederike Winds peaceful passing;

Petra is forced by her superior to start to investigate

She dislike Oliver for creating this pressure

She accepts that Oliver had seen the right indications and signes of the deed;

She becomes a sound boarding partner

Petra is advised between the lines – the superior of her superior – to find nothing

Petra behaves loyal to her idea of police work

Petra gets shot

Major reveals in the Pilot:

Oliver suffers trauma from soldiers in his team killed by child assassin, revealed (Emotional) as a daydream nightmare

Oliver is sent home – his father died, revealed (worst moment) in the middle of the interrogation of the assassin;

Oliver’s mom is found dead, (shocking/ emotional) only two hours before he arrives home, after he stayed (cost him) at the airport for a couple of hours sleep;

Petra does not accept Oliver’s intuitive indication of a crime (worst moment)/ emotional )

Oliver announces he will investigate and unveil the truth (one thing son, then investigator) worst moment/ will cost)

Oliver’s home town acts dismissive and even hostile, revealed in a chain of dismissive reaction when Oliver shows up at public offices to find out how to start to deal with two dead parents;

Uncle Hans – his father’s brother turns him down and postpones a meeting until next day, when calling to say high to family and speak about the funeral, revealed by showing Hans is in town (one and then the opposite)

Uncle Hans informs Clarice that Oliver has arrived -causing already trouble, revealed instantly ( betrayal/ then truth) after hanging up with Oliver, who was asking for help

The power of attorney makes Oliver the family member in charge (surprise )and allows him to investigate same time, revealed by the notary where he almost got send away too (present opposite then truth).

There is something wrong about his parents passing, in an emotional voyage through his home. (Emotional)

A part of the family is determined to talk him into the shipyard deal and out of town

Gabrielle calls Oliver, she will help him to handle the family, and with he funeral of Oliver’s mum, her sister,

Oliver is seen he can fight physically too – handles 4 four guys in the bar

Oliver and Marie becoming a romantic couple after she helps him with his wounds.

Oliver finds mother’s actual diary, clear announcement of a potential end caused by this brutal family (emotional)

</div>
Jan Fantl

Member
June 15, 2023 at 9:16 pm in reply to: Lesson 6
<div>Jan’s Stacking Intrigue…</div>

WIL: learned about the concept of stacking intrigue to make your turning points more powerful.

<div><div>

Teaser: WAR Essence: During his duty, Oliver’s patrol is ambushed by a child assassin, resulting in the death of a fellow soldier in his arms.

TP 1 : Intriguing World: When Oliver’s patrol is ambushed by a child assassin, this results in the death of a fellow soldier in his arms and change his believe as a soldier

TP 2: Startled from his daytime nightmare in the desert camp, Oliver must gather himself and continue the interrogation of the primary assassin, of this fellow soldier.

O Opening : Marty is a loyal police officer in the field, but over time he started he started to question the work ethics in the army.

Act 1: TRAVEL

Essence: Interrupted during the interrogation, Oliver learns of his father’s sudden death and catches a cargo flight home with the help of his buddy. He briefly speaks to his mother on the phone, promising to listen to her full story upon their reunion. </div><div>

TP 1: Oliver receives the news of his father’s sudden death.

TP 2: Oliver is stranded for 48 hrs but hiss buddy helps him catch a cargo flight to return home immediately.

(Opening O): Oliver is released to fly home for his father’s funeral

TP3: Stranded at a cargo airfield, Oliver can’t get hold of his mum and chooses a motel to get some sleep, assuming his mother will be resting as well.

(O Dilemma:) Oliver needs rest and decides against driving that night.

Act 2: ARRIVAL

Essence: Essence: Oliver returns home and meets detective Petra, who informs him about his mother’s death but is unaware of his father’s demise. They explore the house together, and Oliver discovers his mother’s appointment with the notary. Despite his emotional state, Petra insists on proof of his identity before granting him access to his parents’ house. </div><div>

(O’s O) Oliver arrives home, meets detective Petra, who shares the news of his mother’s passing. They search the house, but Petra sees no signs of foul play. Oliver finds an appointment in his mother’s calendar that raises suspicions. However, Petra withholds the keys and denies him the opportunity to stay.

TP1 : Oliver is not the son arriving to assist, suddenly he is all alone and on himself.

(P O) Petra is ready to leave when an unknown individual approaches, questioning her presence. Although he identifies as Oliver Wind, there is no concrete proof that he is the woman’s son. With tensions rising, they walk through the house, and Oliver notices pictures of himself. Despite this, Petra refuses to let him stay, asserting her authority.

P TP 1: As Petra prepares to leave, Oliver asks about his father’s body, but she is clueless about it. She requests to show up at the investigation department.

TP2 /Midpoint: Oliver sees and feels something „is off““ in the house and he defies the dismissive homicide department and embarks on a journey to uncover the truth.

Act 3: DOORS SHUT

Essence: Frustrated and alone in his hometown, Oliver encounters obstacles at the residents registration office due to lack of proof of identity and other public offices. He attempts to contact relatives, including Uncle Hans, but faces difficulties reaching them. He schedules an appointment for the following day and also contacts the police at his father’s workplace. </div><div>

O Dilemma: Feeling isolated in his own town, Oliver refuses to give up and takes proactive measures, visiting various public offices for assistance. While condolences are offered, he struggles to find anyone willing to provide immediate help.

(Hans O): Uncle Hans receives a call from Oliver, expressing condolences for his father’s death but postponing their meeting until the next day due to being out of town. He then informs Clarice, about Oliver’s arrival, leading to uncertainty about their next steps? P3: Nobody is ready to help instantly, he must halt to regain strength.

(Notary O) Oliver arrives at the notary’s office, initially facing resistance from the secretary. However, notary Muller intervenes and invites him into his office. Meeting Oliver first time.

O TP: In a surprising turn of events, Oliver is handed a recently signed power of attorney document by his mother, dated just one day prior, raising suspicions about her intentions.

TP 4: Oliver is handed a freshly signed power of attorney document by his mother at the notary’s office, dated just one day before her death.

Act 4: BRAWL/ SEX

Oliver confronts the authorities with the power of attorney, gaining access to his home where he searches in frustration for answers. </div><div>

TP1: Oliver presents his Power of Attorney to the Petra, receives the keys to his parents house and announces: truth must and will be uncovered.

(O Major Conflict) Despite limited evidence and resistance from the authorities, Oliver becomes determined to uncover the truth behind his parents’ deaths, pushing forward in his investigation. And he files for an indictment against unknown O shows up at the Prosecutor’s office and files for an obduction. Uncle Hans is receiving phone calls, Oliver is taking the town upside down.

TP 2: Additionally he calls military police and files for an administrative assistance procedure. Oliver enters his parents home sits and takes a breath. He searches the house with no success.

O TP3 : Oliver becomes involved in a – staged -bar brawl, sustaining injuries. TP4: Marie, the bartender, comes to his aid and they share a passionate night together.

(Marie opening) Marie encounters Oliver at her nighttime job and is drawn to him, offering her support and inviting him to stay the night.

Turning Point 5: After their encounter, Oliver is restless and suffering from insomnia, he takes a walk in an attempt to find solace and peace of mind.

Act 5: RESTLESS NIGHT

Essence: Oliver searches his parents’ house again and uncovers a hidden compartment containing one of his mother’s diary. </div>

TP/Lock In: As he reads aloud from his mother’s diary, he shatters the illusion of her death: a peaceful dead, really

</div>
- This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by Jan Fantl.
Jan Fantl

Member
June 15, 2023 at 9:11 pm in reply to: Lesson 5
sorry wrong reply.
- This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by Jan Fantl.
Jan Fantl

Member
June 14, 2023 at 7:43 pm in reply to: Lesson 4

3.4. Jan’s Character Story Lines

WIL: …….. continue and re fine

Teaser: WAR

Essence: During his duty, Oliver’s patrol is ambushed by a child assassin, resulting in the death of a fellow soldier in his arms.
Turning Point: Startled from his daytime nightmare in the desert camp, Oliver must gather himself and continue the interrogation of the primary assassin.
O Opening : Marty is a loyal police officer in the field, but over time he started he started to question the work ethics in the army.

Act 1: TRAVEL

Essence: Interrupted during the interrogation, Oliver learns of his father’s sudden death and catches a cargo flight home with the help of his buddy. He briefly speaks to his mother on the phone, promising to listen to her full story upon their reunion. <div>

(Opening O): Oliver is released to fly home for his father’s funeral

Turning Point:) Stranded at a cargo airfield, Oliver chooses a motel to get some sleep, assuming his mother will be resting as well.

(O Dilemma: Oliver needs rest and decides against driving that night)

Act 2: ARRIVAL

Essence: Essence: Oliver returns home and meets detective Petra, who informs him about his mother’s death but is unaware of his father’s demise. They explore the house together, and Oliver discovers his mother’s appointment with the notary. Despite his emotional state, Petra insists on proof of his identity before granting him access to his parents’ house. </div>

<div>

(O’s O) Oliver arrives home, meets detective Petra, who shares the news of his mother’s passing. They search the house, but Petra sees no signs of foul play. Oliver finds an appointment in his mother’s calendar that raises suspicions. However, Petra withholds the keys and denies him the opportunity to stay.

(P O) Petra is ready to leave when an unknown individual approaches, questioning her presence. Although he identifies as Oliver Wind, there is no concrete proof that he is the woman’s son. With tensions rising, they walk through the house, and Oliver notices pictures of himself. Despite this, Petra refuses to let him stay, asserting her authority.

P TP 1: As Petra prepares to leave, Oliver asks about his father’s body, but she is clueless about it. She requests to show up at the investigation department.

(Turning Point/Midpoint): Oliver defies the dismissive homicide department and embarks on a journey to uncover the truth.

Act 3: DOORS SHUT

Essence: Frustrated and alone in his hometown, Oliver encounters obstacles at the residents registration office due to lack of proof of identity and other public offices. He attempts to contact relatives, including Uncle Hans, but faces difficulties reaching them. He schedules an appointment for the following day and also contacts the police at his father’s workplace. </div><div>

O Dilemma: Feeling isolated in his own town, Oliver refuses to give up and takes proactive measures, visiting various public offices for assistance. While condolences are offered, he struggles to find anyone willing to provide immediate help.

(Hans O): Uncle Hans receives a call from Oliver, expressing condolences for his father’s death but postponing their meeting until the next day due to being out of town. He then informs his daughter, Clarice, about Oliver’s arrival, leading to uncertainty about their next steps?

(Notary O) Oliver arrives at the notary’s office, initially facing resistance from the secretary. However, notary Muller intervenes and invites him into his office.

O TP: In a surprising turn of events, Oliver is handed a recently signed power of attorney document by his mother, dated just one day prior, raising suspicions about her intentions.

Act 4: BRAWL/ SEX

Oliver confronts the authorities with the power of attorney, gaining access to his home where he searches in frustration for answers. </div><div>

(O Major Conflict) Despite limited evidence and resistance from the authorities, Oliver becomes determined to uncover the truth behind his parents’ deaths, pushing forward in his investigation. (Who will I find for him to talk to and unveil this?)

(O TP) Oliver becomes involved in a – staged -bar brawl, sustaining injuries. Marie, the bartender, comes to his aid and they share a passionate night together.

(Marie opening) Marie encounters Oliver at her nighttime job and is drawn to him, offering her support and inviting him to stay the night.

Turning Point: After their encounter, Oliver is restless and suffering from insomnia, he takes a walk in an attempt to find solace and peace of mind.

Act 5: RESTLESS NIGHT

Essence: Oliver searches his parents’ house again and uncovers a hidden compartment containing one of his mother’s diary. </div>

Lock In: As he reads aloud from his mother’s diary, he shatters the illusion of her death: a peaceful dead, really?
Jan Fantl

Member
June 8, 2023 at 7:26 pm in reply to: Lesson 3

Jan’s Pilot Structure <div>

WIL: I apologize for being repetitive. I learn here constantly to send back my work to myself and review it. Like a cow I use all different compartments of my scriptwriting “stomach” to re- and re- and re- write what I thought before. And yes, here, I learn to become better.

Teaser: WAR

Essence: During his duty, Oliver’s patrol is ambushed by a child assassin, resulting in the death of a fellow soldier in his arms.

Turning Point: Startled from a daytime nightmare in the desert camp, Oliver must gather himself and continue the interrogation of the primary assassin.

Act 1: TRAVEL

Essence: Interrupted during the interrogation, Oliver receives the news of his father’s sudden death and his buddy aids him in catching a cargo flight to return home immediately. As he walks towards the cargo plane, he has a brief conversation with his mother on the phone, promising to learn the whole story when they reunite in a few hours. </div><div>

Turning Point: Stranded at a cargo airfield with no place to rest, Oliver opts for a motel to catch some sleep, hoping his mother will be sleeping anyway. (It’s not a strong point as of yet but will show that this is why he missed to meet his mother alive. maybe I can do better)

Act 2: ARRIVAL

Essence: Oliver returns home and meets detective Petra, who tells him about his mother’s death but is unaware of his father’s demise. They explore the house together, Oliver finding his mother’s appointment with the notary. Petra requires proof of his identity before allowing him to stay in his parents’ house. </div><div>

Turning Point/Midpoint: Oliver will seek justice for his parents’ mysterious deaths, defying the dismissive homicide department to uncover the truth.

Act 3: DOORS SHUT

Essence: Frustrated and alone in his hometown, Oliver faces numerous obstacles at the residents registration office as he lacks proof of identity. He tries calling relatives e.g. Uncle Hans, who is unavailable, and schedules an appointment for the following day. He calls police at dad’s work place. </div><div>

Turning Point: To his surprise, at the notary’s office, Oliver is handed a freshly signed power of attorney document by his mother, dated just one day before.

Act 4: BRAWL/ SEX

Essence: Oliver presents the PoA at the homicide office, obtains the keys, searches his home in frustration, and later finds himself unable to avoid a brawl at a bar. Despite getting injured, Marie, the bartender, assists him and they spend the night together. </div><div>

Turning Point: After having sex, Oliver finds himself restless and unable to sleep. He takes a walk in an attempt to calm his mind.

Act 5: RESTLESS NIGHT

Essence: Oliver searches his parents’ house once more and discovers a hidden compartment containing his mother’s diary. </div>

Lock In: As he reads aloud from his mother’s diary, he shatters the illusion of her death: a peaceful dead, really?
Jan Fantl

Member
June 6, 2023 at 11:26 am in reply to: Lesson 2

Jan’s Amazing Inciting Incident

WIL: to shed light from a different perspective

1. What is the “Inciting Incident” of your series that this pilot needs to deliver powerfully?

2. Give us the main beats of that Inciting Incident:

Intriguing Concept: Oliver’s parents have been murdered and anybody in town could be involved, entangled or placed the order.

Act 1: in the war zone, guarding a transport Oliver looses a teammate, meeting Oliver as interrogator (asking questions) and flying home because his father died, briefly talking to his Mum while boarding a cargo plane

Midpoint: They did not die peacefully, who murdered them and why?

Lock In: Doors are slammed into his face by homicide’s Petra, (he doesn’t even get the keys to the house), by Uncle Hans (pushing for next day because of biz), the banker, secretary of notary (but he paves his way to the notary, who hands him the PoA, which gets him the keys), the general learning about both cases frees Oliver from duties (despite Oliver doesn’t want this), the right wingers mocking German soldiers as pussies. Restless Oliver finds prove that his mother knew that his father feared an over aggressive reaction of the Winds.
Jan Fantl

Member
June 6, 2023 at 11:19 am in reply to: Lesson 1

Subject line: Jan’s Big Picture Components

WIL: go back to former wording, check and improve it if possible.

SERIES INFO:

A military police officer returns from a war zone to attend his father’s funeral, but discovers his mother dead as well under suspicious circumstances. As he delves deeper into the investigation, he uncovers a web of corruption and conspiracy surrounding the illegal privatization of water in his hometown. Fueled by his thirst for justice, he evolves from an investigator to a vigilant crusader, challenging his own relatives and confronting his inner dark secrets that lie within his past before he ran away.

<div>
</div>

World: The whispering small town cob web, covering, hindering and disbelieving

Main mystery: the suspicious deaths of his parents -interwoven with the he conspiracy to steal potable water.

Impossible Goal: to sort his parents deaths against all odds

Main Conflict: pursuit of the truth against a network of influential individuals involved in the illegal privatization of potable water.

Second Mystery: history of Oliver and his hometown

Season 1 Arc: From finding his parents dead to uncover the truth about their killing and unveil his relatives involvement in the Water steal deal

Season 1 Protagonist Internal Journey: From disconnection and inner struggles to confronting his inner demons, to his emotions to finding trust, loyalty and love in a modern experiment of a triangle partnership

2. Tell us the basic Pilot Info:

PILOT INFO:

Oliver returns to Germany for his father’s funeral and discovers his mother’s sudden passing, fueling his suspicion of foul play. He seeks answers and meets Petra, a dismissive homicide detective. During his investigation, Oliver visits the notary and uncovers a recently signed power of attorney, raising doubts about his mother’s intentions. As he grapples with PTSD and sleeping disorders, Oliver finds solace in Marie, leading to a spontaneous night together. While searching his parents’ house, he stumbles upon his mother’s diary in a hidden compartment, raising questions about her seemingly peaceful death.

<div>
</div>

Pilot Conflict: the mysterious deaths of Oliver’s parents and his suspicion of foul play. (Will become the arc for the season)

Characters Introduced: Oliver, Marie, Petra, Hans, Notary

Inciting Incident of Season 1: When Oliver receives the message that his father died and is sent home and learns his mother has died within 36 hours too.
Jan Fantl

Member
June 1, 2023 at 10:18 pm in reply to: Lesson 12

not possible to show the visuals. I am happy to send over a pdf to classmates interested.

THIRST

Action Thriller Series

by

Michael von Petschau-Aussenberg

and

Jan Fantl

A military police officer returns from a war zone to assist his mother with his fathers funeral, finds her dead too, probably both killed, taking on his relatives and hometown involved and slowly grows from investigator into vigilante.

THIRST uncovers the dark underbelly of a small town plagued by corruption, illuminates the pervasive vices of “networking” and greed that exist universally. As a military police investigator, Oliver delves into a conspiracy that unveils the semi-legal privatization of the nation’s potable water by a powerful conglomerate.

Thought-provoking and centered in Germany’s Lake District Spreewald, it sheds light on the urgent matter of water scarcity.

Summary

THIRST follows the story of Oliver Wind, an active military police officer who returns from Syria to attend his father’s funeral. Upon landing in Germany, he arrives into the devastating news of his mother’s passing. Amidst the grief, Oliver is driven to investigate their deaths, suspecting foul play.

He uncovers a hidden web of corruption and conspiracy surrounding the privatization of water in his long-abandoned hometown.

In a city where he is disliked by almost everyone, the haunting memory of a car accident that took his best friend’s life 18 years ago continues to overshadow Oliver’s existence.

Despite inheriting his parents’ properties, he is drawn into a dangerous struggle involving estranged family members, influential politicians, and powerful conglomerates.

Constantly facing threats to his life, Oliver forms unlikely alliances with his cousin Marie and therapist Stefanie, who provide unwavering support and become pillars of strength.

Together, they navigate the complexities of love, loyalty, and join forces to fight for justice and protect the world’s most valuable resource — potable water.

next

– Lead Characters

– Season One THIRST – STEAL – Titled Episodes (13)

– Five Seasons Descriptions

Characters

OLIVER WIND – 37ish

Oliver is a good investigator, a brilliant interrogator, and a relentless military police officer. Yet, his war-induced PTSD leaves him restless, plagued by sleep disorders, and prone to occasional outbursts that jeopardize his success.

He is the silently unappreciated black sheep who returns home for his parents’ funerals. He must investigate the underlying reasons for their deaths and will stop at nothing to uncover the truth.

However, his uncle Hans and the corrupt middle class cobweb of this stuffy hometown may try to stop him. Oliver deeply dislikes his family, except for his granny, and recently his cousin Marie.

Oliver left town at the age of 17, for a very specific reason when he was blamed for causing an accident, in which his girl friend BFF died. He didn’t cause it but the town and worse, his family didn’t trust his words. He ran away, forged a signature, joined the army and almost never visited home, unless his mother begged him to do so.

Surprisingly before he manages to leave town quickly this time, he finds into a modern poly armoire relationships among his cousin Marie and his army therapist Stefanie. Together they discover a huge illegal water deal and its connection to his parents.

In the therapy with Stefanie he also learns to open up about his deepest wound and the underlying reason for the strained relationship with his world.

He forces himself and Marie into deadly situations and refuses to betray Stefanie. Though he finds peace and joy with his loved ones, he faces the possibility of crossing moral boundaries and assuming the role of a vigilante in his quest for justice.

MARIE WIND – 26ish

Marie, a young and ambitious eco photographer, works as a bartender in the town’s nightlife scene, where she meets Oliver, a military officer coming to visit to bury his parents.

Despite discovering they are cousins, Marie is torn between her growing feelings for Oliver, her group of eco activists and her future heritage. As they work to uncover the truth about his parents’ deaths, Marie falls in love with Oliver’s therapist as well, leading her on a journey to explore her sexuality. However, her family may not know.

Her family has a long-standing connection to the corrupt dealings in town. Despite Marie is determined to uncover the truth feels from time to time uncertain how to remain her position as her fathers heir and the nice life waiting.

Marie must confront her family’s wrongdoings and works determined and intelligently with Oliver and Stefanie to expose the Water Mill’s dangerous owners and their involvement in the corrupt dealings.STEFANIE MUELLER, Dr., 42ish

Stefanie is a psychologist specializing in treating war PTSD. When Oliver is ordered by his general to seek therapy during his leave, he becomes her new patient. When Oliver hides more in talking about his parents’ suspected murder and funeral, Stefanie deals with it patiently and becomes his sound board to help him cope with his family and the townspeople.

Stefanie has been an active therapist in war zones like Afghanistan and therefore they find quickly to a level of the same traumatizing or dulling anecdotes. However, as Stefanie’s personal connections to the Water Mill are revealed, matters become more complicated.

To add to the complexity, Marie falls for Stefanie and seduces her, leading Stefanie to delve into experimenting with bisexuality. Stefanie’s behavior, sleeping with her patient’s girlfriend, troubles her, but Marie convinces her to invite Oliver into a polyamorous relationship on site.

Stefanie’s proactive and intellectual nature, as well as her intriguing history, make her a key player in the team efforts to uncover the truth about Oliver’s parents’ deaths and the Water Mill deal while she desperately tries to finish her book that will change the ways to treat PTSD.

As Stefanie delves further together with Oliver they realize that their commanding officer has instructed them to spy on one another. The general stubbornly dismisses Stefanie’s balanced blend of holistic and scientific methods for addressing war trauma, and demands proof of Oliver’s loyalty and leadership.

Stefanie reveals her own hidden trauma from her time in war zones. She patiently encourages Oliver to explore his past beyond the war and accompanies him into his early childhood which leads to a dramatic, historical and life changing coming out for Oliver when he was abused. Oliver’s revelation shocks even Stefanie.

Stefanie and Oliver successfully deceive their general and form a strong bond in the process.

With their threesome relationships intensifying, Stefanie must confront her own loyalties and emotions while pursuing the truth.

SEASON 1 THIRST – STEAL

A Soldier’s Coming Home 101

Oliver returns to Germany, but his parents’ deaths raise suspicions and lead him on a quest for answers.

Oliver returns to Germany for his father’s funeral and arrives into his mother’s sudden passing. He suspects foul play in their deaths and seeks answers. He meets Petra, a homicide detective, who initially dismisses any foul play.

Oliver visits the notary and is handed a recently signed power of attorney, raising suspicions about his mother’s intentions.

In a pub brawl, Oliver gets injured but finds solace in Marie, leading to a first night stand right away. A restless PTSD with sleeping disorders, he searches his parents house and discovers a hidden compartment containing his mothers diary. A peaceful death, no doubt?

Meet the family, seriously? 102

As homicide dismisses the need for investigation, Oliver visits the shipyard where his father drowned while the notary schedules the opening of the will.

Oliver and Marie wake up realizing they are cousins, adding complexity to their relationship.

Oliver is surprised by Uncle Hans, who prioritizes his brother’s funeral over a mutual one for both of his parents.

The notary provides Oliver with crucial information, reflecting that he might want to stay a bit longer; and the will’s opening is scheduled.

Oliver visits the shipyard where his father drowned, uncovering potential clues.

The general insists Oliver seeks therapy for his war trauma. Meanwhile, Marie helps Oliver find an undertaker when his mother’s sister, Gabrielle, calls from Switzerland about the funeral, taking over.

Oliver confronts the banker regarding his mother’s accounts, presenting his Power of Attorney while Uncle Hans is visited by Johan, another member of the Wind family, questioned if the Water Mill plan would be at risk?

The Will – Family Secrets Emerge 103

Accusations arise, Oliver seeks therapy, and he inherits everything.

Accusations of incestuousness arise from Hans’ 2nd wife, causing tension in the family. Oliver begins therapy sessions with Stefanie, focusing on funeral matters.

Oliver joins Petra during his mother’s autopsy and discovers evidence of foul play. He meticulously searches his parents’ house for more clues.

The will is finally opened, shocking the family as Oliver is the sole heir, he inherits everything. Oliver uses the situation to give a determined speech that he will stay to uncover the truth.

Meeting Uncle Johan, CEO of Water Mill and his daughter Clarice, running business affairs there, doesn’t work so well and Marie reveals the existence of a network of influential individuals, sarcastically known as the Winds.

Funeral for Two- no Fun 104

Oliver investigates the shipyard, homicide finds torture marks, and the funeral divides the family.

Stefanie helps Oliver in therapy, making progress with his emotional struggles.

Oliver observes the shipyard’s peculiar water patterns.

Petra informs Oliver of torture marks on his father’s body before drowning.

Marie reveals her connection to eco-activists and her dream of being an eco-photographer and shows Oliver her pictures of dying lakes and landscape. Oliver uncovers a hasty deal to sell the shipyard.

The funeral takes place, dividing the family, but Oliver gains unexpected support from Gabrielle, his mother’s sister arriving from Geneva and his grandmother. Jürgen appears at the funeral, a shady memory to former life of Oliver.

Walking back from the funeral, a car bomb detonates. Is this the limo Oliver was supposed to sit in?

The Shipyard – Tough Heritage 105

Oliver and Marie pursue Jürgen, investigate the rushed shipyard sale, and question the notary about his mother’s role in the deal.

Oliver and Marie delve deeper into the hasty shipyard sale and its implications while the general urgently seeks information about Stefanie and her unpublished book.

Oliver and Stefanie feel that they are both being manipulated. Oliver questions why someone would rush to buy the shipyard, the notary opens up about his past with Oliver’s mother.

Oliver narrowly escapes an attempted murder by goons.

The general presses for information about Stefanie’s therapy techniques and threatens her as well.

Oliver and Petra find out that the car bomb was built from military explosives, stolen in a camp nearby.

Not enough Funds for the Big Plan 106

Marie uncovers Water Mill as buyer, orchestrated by Uncle Hans and Jürgen involved. Oliver introduces Marie to Stefanie.

Marie informs Oliver about the secret agreement made by Johan, orchestrated by Jürgen and Hans.

Marie meets Stefanie for the first time through Oliver, and later on, returns, kissing her right away on the doorstep. .

Oliver drives to the military camp and visits his police colleagues to discuss the car bomb incident. He discreetly takes a handgun.

Oliver confronts Hans regarding the shipyard deal and uncovers the Water Mill’s plans for a new water production facility. His aunt Gabrielle in Switzerland reveals that they lack the funds to finance it. The town supports the project, expecting economic growth, but without any financial involvement. This raises questions about Jürgen’s role.

Upon returning to the shipyard, Oliver receives a mysterious message suggesting that he investigate Marie’s past when she worked at the Water Mill.

Shadows Under Water 107

Oliver attends a therapy group, opens up about trauma. Tensions rise when Johann confronts him. Marie proposes polyamorous relationship to Stefanie.

Invited by Stefanie, Oliver attends a group meeting in a nearby town. Right there and then he decides to burst open about his past trauma being abused at the age of seven. Contrary to his lifelong fear, he earns respect from all men in the room. And Stefanie.

Johann approaches Oliver and tensions rise. Clarice warns others about losing their investment in the shipyard, claiming Oliver wants to keep it solely for himself and takes action into her own hands, calls her mother.

Stefanie contemplates breaking up with Marie, but Marie proposes an alternative solution.

Johan receives a phone call and it is requested to end Oliver’s thirst to unlock the riddle.

The Engine Stutters -No Stopping 108

Johann informs board of shipyard losses. Stefanie’s relationship with Marie is tested. Petra shares intel with Oliver from Organized Crime department.

Johann and Clarice inform the board about potential losses in the shipyard investment due to Oliver’s actions.

Stefanie’s relation with Marie is tested.

Oliver is attacked by unknown assailants while driving, but he manages to defeat the attackers and contacts Petra for assistance.

The general grows increasingly impatient for information on Stefanie’s therapy methods. In therapy, Oliver and Stefanie realize they are both being coerced into spying on each other and a plan evolves how to deal with that.

Oliver receives knowledge about the killers and that they are part of an organized group to finish dirty work for hire.

Oliver loads the handgun and drives to town.

Tapping into Hidden Shoals 109

Oliver finds a hidden facility at shipyard, Notary reveals mother’s intervention in shipyard sale. Oliver uncovers mother’s visit to notary before death.

Oliver tracks down the hired guns responsible for the attacks on him and cleverly eliminates them. He hides the stolen handgun and informs military police and Petra same time.

Oliver discovers a hidden technical facility beneath the covered docks of the shipyard.

He contacts a soldier friend who monitors satellites over Europe and asks for a favor.

The notary tells Oliver that his parents changed their plans about the inheritance just before his father died. His mother left everything to Oliver. She accidentally came in one day earlier than scheduled and signed her will. That’s it, she was just killed a bit too late?

The notary’s office is being watched.

Petra is visited by military police.

Could this become Home again? 110

Oliver moves to shipyard. Notary’s office break-in turns lethal. Oliver seeks Petra’s help. Marie and Stefanie propose polyamorous relationship.

Oliver decides to move to the shipyard and considers living there permanently. Marie surprises him with a revelation.

Petra interrogates Jürgen about the deaths of two Albanians, with a military police officer joining in.

Oliver visits the parents of his late girlfriend BFF and apologizes for never apologizing. He receives a gift from the past.

Oliver and Marie break into the notary’s office for more evidence but find the notary poisoned. Oliver cleverly covers his tracks and contacts Petra for help.

In the midst of all this, Marie and Stefanie suggest a polyamorous but romantic relationship, which shocks Oliver.

Gabrielle calls Johan, and the fate of the notary hangs in the balance. It’s time to clean up this mess.

Unmasking the Culprit/s 111

Oliver uncovers Water Mill’s underground pipeline. Trio prepares for new life at shipyard. Oliver confronts family about illegal deal. Jürgen exposed as mastermind, flees again.

Oliver confronts Hans about the growing evidence against him, resulting in a heated argument.

The gift from the past delivers finally prove, Jürgen sitting in the drivers seat before the accident.

Oliver shares his doubts and desires for a relationship with both Marie and Stefanie, forming a complex triangle. He is in; and commits to the shipyard as their headquarters.

He decides to confront the entire family with the truth, revealing Jürgen as responsible for his best friend’s death 18 years ago and providing evidence of his involvement with the Albanians.

Jürgen escapes, and Johann receives a phone call, while Clarice seeks assistance from her father’s driver. Stefanie confesses that she was Johan’s mistress for a period of time.

Running out of Energy 112

Water Mill’s role revealed in deaths. Marie confronts her father, Hans. Clarice escapes.

Johann faces the consequences of his involvement in building the tunnel to steal public water. Oliver unveils that the Water Mill assisted big time in his parents’ deaths.

Clarice manages to trick Oliver and Marie and to escape the country. She sends a secret message telling Oliver to give up because he can’t beat the conglomerate.

Oliver asks his ISAF friends for help to find Clarice. They discover she’s now in a top position at a famous water and nutrition company in Africa.

Petra finds Jürgen dead with a letter confessing that he killed Oliver’s father. But something doesn’t seem right.

When Petra leaves the scene and calls Oliver, she is shot in the back.

The Healing Begins – doesn’t it? 113

Oliver plans next move, visits assassin for a deal. Clarice ambushed, Oliver shot in Syria. Reunites with Marie and Stefanie. Plans for long rehab.

Oliver returns to his military camp and continues his duties and prepares his next step. He visits Mohammad, the assassin from the first episode, offering him a deal for freedom for himself and his family.

The plan is set in motion to get Mohammad to South Africa

Clarice is ambushed near the Water Mill headquarters in South Africa.

In a separate incident, Oliver shoots himself in the thigh during his watch in Syria. Oliver sets Mohammad and his wife free before he is flown back home for rehab.

Johan, speaking brokenly, delivers the devastating news over the phone that his daughter Clarice has been killed.

Oliver reunites with Marie and Stefanie, embarking joyfully on a journey of healing and envisioning a brighter future together.

As Oliver, Marie, and Stefanie leave the airport, they are followed unnoticed. Oliver’s phone rings and in his earpiece we hear the light French accent of Gabrielle who announces to have him killed because he killed his own sister. – What?Five Seasons Descriptions

S 1: THIRST – Steal – see above

S 2 : THIRST – Revenge. Oliver MUST BE HUNTED BY GABRIELLE

Someone is retaliating in town, is the conspiracy fighting back? Or is it Gabrielle? Is there a difference?

Petra, recovering in the hospital, learns she will need crutches for the rest of her life.

Oliver must protect his loved ones unexpectedly. Johan publicly admits his mistakes but refuses to step down. He has the support of an international group led by Gabrielle’s husband, who are lobbying for him to control water as an asset.

While Oliver investigates Johan’s past, Stefanie and Marie connect the dots. Stefanie was Johan’s mistress while Marie was receiving education at the Water Mill. Marie is shocked to learn that she had a „me too“-experience with Johan.

Gabrielle is restless in trying to have Oliver killed.

The Water Mill tries to improve its image by showcasing a traveling exhibition of Marie’s photos, displaying her work before and after her education at the mill. The exhibition showing the destruction of lakes and rivers in the area goes viral, but her eco-activist friends turn against her, leading to online harassment and cancel culture.

Oliver negotiates his future in the army, seeking a position away from war zones and conflicts. The general presents an appealing offer in the capital, but Oliver must first return to the military police headquarters. Stefanie suspects foul play once again.

Team Oliver fights to restore the Water Mill’s reputation, but they continue to be targeted by Gabrielle and face constant threats. They eventually discover the origin of “the cleaner” and her connection to the mastermind behind the ruthless idea of denying water for free.

S3 : THIRST – Future

Stefanie becomes pregnant, and Oliver is transferred from the MP HQ to the capital city, Berlin. He commutes four days a week when Marie brings up the topic of getting pregnant and suggests raising the babies together.

Stefanie gives birth and the same hour her baby is swapped with another child and taken from the hospital. It’s clear that Stefanie and the baby don’t bond and a blood test reveals that it’s a “raven child,” not her biological baby. Oliver and Marie start to investigate and find out that the other mother was picked up only to disappear. Oliver seeks assistance from his friends in the US and Czech armies to trace any leads.

Oliver tries to adapt to life in Berlin and understands the differences in this unique war zone of politics and lobbying. He discovers evidence of a powerful water lobby pushing for unrestricted control over potable water, without any public oversight.

Marie confronts her father, Hans, and takes advantage of his weakened state and grabs his position on the Water Mill board.

Gabrielle contacts Stefanie and outlines the procedure she expects Stefanie to follow, believing that Stefanie wants her baby to be in good care. In the background, we see a nanny with a baby, and Clarice in a wheelchair.

S 4: THIRST – New Endings

Oliver decides to leave Berlin as he finds the war there too unpleasant and dirty. He requests to find a military position closer to his hometown, but the decision is „in the air“.

Clarice returns to town in a wheelchair, with half of her face and body reconstructed by top cosmetic surgeons. She now communicates through an AI-generated voice module connected to her brain. Her presence back in town is not a good sign.

Oliver and Marie successfully locate Gabrielle’s resort in Switzerland and manage to re-kidnap and to escape with Stefanie’s baby.

Marie convinces the board to reject Clarice’s re-entry into any position at the Water Mill.

Marie becomes pregnant, bringing joy to the triple.

Johan confirms that Clarice is not Gabrielle’s daughter, but the sister of Oliver’s late mother.

Sadly, Marie loses the baby in a car accident and it remains uncertain for not very long until Gabrielle coldly tells Stefanie over the phone that such accidents happen every day and that she too could be a victim.

Hans, devastated by the loss of his unborn grandchild and suspecting Clarice’s involvement in seeking revenge, makes a terrible decision. During a Zoom call with Gabrielle, he pushes Clarice’s wheelchair into the lake, with Clarice still strapped to it.

Gabrielle contacts Stefanie and warns of retaliation.

S 5 : THIRST – 4 Thirst

Marie becomes the Chairwoman of the advisory board and decides to stay at the Water Mill full-time monitoring the management.

Oliver and Marie find certain of Stefanie’s advice strange and decide to observe her quietly.

Oliver wins the bid to provide security services at the Water Mill, even though Marie has concerns about compliance. However, she’s glad she wasn’t involved in the decision. Oliver plans to leave the army and start a security company in their hometown and at the Mill.

Stefanie reaches out to Gabrielle, hoping for help to escape her difficult life….. and ease hers. But her real motive is to find out if Gabrielle where her child is kept..

Gabrielle kidnaps surprisingly Stefanie and frames Uncle Hans for the crime, as part of her plan to control the water industry.

Hans shows up at the meeting point and gets shot, while Petra and the police arrive too late. Everybody becomes aware Stefanie is missing.

Oliver, Marie, and Stefanie’s baby must find Stefanie and bring the person who killed Hans to justice.
Jan Fantl

Member
June 1, 2023 at 8:57 pm in reply to: Lesson 11

Jan’s Edited TV Pitch Bible

WIL: Just return and fine-tune – and if you find refinements – go back and re check everything again…and again

(Actually it is impossible to show certain improvements as the formatting and several other – picture on front page e.g. cannot be shown here)

Action Thriller Series

by

Michael von Petschau -Aussenberg

and

Jan Fantl

A military police officer returns from a war zone to assist his mother with his fathers funeral, finds her dead too, probably both killed, taking on his relatives and hometown involved and slowly grows from investigator into vigilante.

THIRST uncovers the dark underbelly of a small town plagued by corruption, illuminates the pervasive vices of “networking” and greed that exist universally. As a military police investigator, Oliver delves into a conspiracy that unveils the semi-legal privatization of the nation’s potable water by a powerful conglomerate.

Thought-provoking and centered in Germany’s Lake District Spreewald, it sheds light on the urgent matter of water scarcity.

Summary

THIRST follows the story of Oliver Wind, an active military police officer who returns from Syria to attend his father’s funeral. Upon landing in Germany, he arrives into the devastating news of his mother’s passing. Amidst the grief, Oliver is driven to investigate their deaths, suspecting foul play.

He uncovers a hidden web of corruption and conspiracy surrounding the privatization of water in his long-abandoned hometown.

In a city where he is disliked by almost everyone, the haunting memory of a car accident that took his best friend’s life 18 years ago continues to overshadow Oliver’s existence.

Despite inheriting his parents’ properties, he is drawn into a dangerous struggle involving estranged family members, influential politicians, and powerful conglomerates.

Constantly facing threats to his life, Oliver forms unlikely alliances with his cousin Marie and therapist Stefanie, who provide unwavering support and become pillars of strength.

Together, they navigate the complexities of love, loyalty, and join forces to fight for justice and protect the world’s most valuable resource — potable water.

– Lead Characters

– Season One THIRST – STEAL – Titled Episodes (13)

– Five Seasons Descriptions

Characters

OLIVER WIND – 37ish

Oliver is a good investigator, a brilliant interrogator, and a relentless military police officer. Yet, his war-induced PTSD leaves him restless, plagued by sleep disorders, and prone to occasional outbursts that jeopardize his success.

He is the silently unappreciated black sheep who returns home for his parents’ funerals. He must investigate the underlying reasons for their deaths and will stop at nothing to uncover the truth.

However, his uncle Hans and the corrupt middle class cobweb of this stuffy hometown may try to stop him. Oliver deeply dislikes his family, except for his granny, and recently his cousin Marie.

Oliver left town at the age of 17, for a very specific reason when he was blamed for causing an accident, in which his girl friend BFF died. He didn’t cause it but the town and worse, his family didn’t trust his words. He ran away, forged a signature, joined the army and almost never visited home, unless his mother begged him to do so.

Surprisingly before he manages to leave town quickly this time, he finds into a modern poly armoire relationships among his cousin Marie and his army therapist Stefanie. Together they discover a huge illegal water deal and its connection to his parents.

In the therapy with Stefanie he also learns to open up about his deepest wound and the underlying reason for the strained relationship with his world.

He forces himself and Marie into deadly situations and refuses to betray Stefanie. Though he finds peace and joy with his loved ones, he faces the possibility of crossing moral boundaries and assuming the role of a vigilante in his quest for justice.

MARIE WIND – 26ish

Marie, a young and ambitious eco photographer, works as a bartender in the town’s nightlife scene, where she meets Oliver, a military officer coming to visit to bury his parents.

Despite discovering they are cousins, Marie is torn between her growing feelings for Oliver, her group of eco activists and her future heritage. As they work to uncover the truth about his parents’ deaths, Marie falls in love with Oliver’s therapist as well, leading her on a journey to explore her sexuality. However, her family may not know.

Her family has a long-standing connection to the corrupt dealings in town. Despite Marie is determined to uncover the truth feels from time to time uncertain how to remain her position as her fathers heir and the nice life waiting.

Marie must confront her family’s wrongdoings and works determined and intelligently with Oliver and Stefanie to expose the Water Mill’s dangerous owners and their involvement in the corrupt dealings.STEFANIE MUELLER, Dr., 42ish

Stefanie is a psychologist specializing in treating war PTSD. When Oliver is ordered by his general to seek therapy during his leave, he becomes her new patient. When Oliver hides more in talking about his parents’ suspected murder and funeral, Stefanie deals with it patiently and becomes his sound board to help him cope with his family and the townspeople.

Stefanie has been an active therapist in war zones like Afghanistan and therefore they find quickly to a level of the same traumatizing or dulling anecdotes. However, as Stefanie’s personal connections to the Water Mill are revealed, matters become more complicated.

To add to the complexity, Marie falls for Stefanie and seduces her, leading Stefanie to delve into experimenting with bisexuality. Stefanie’s behavior, sleeping with her patient’s girlfriend, troubles her, but Marie convinces her to invite Oliver into a polyamorous relationship on site.

Stefanie’s proactive and intellectual nature, as well as her intriguing history, make her a key player in the team efforts to uncover the truth about Oliver’s parents’ deaths and the Water Mill deal while she desperately tries to finish her book that will change the ways to treat PTSD.

As Stefanie delves further together with Oliver they realize that their commanding officer has instructed them to spy on one another. The general stubbornly dismisses Stefanie’s balanced blend of holistic and scientific methods for addressing war trauma, and demands proof of Oliver’s loyalty and leadership.

Stefanie reveals her own hidden trauma from her time in war zones. She patiently encourages Oliver to explore his past beyond the war and accompanies him into his early childhood which leads to a dramatic, historical and life changing coming out for Oliver when he was abused. Oliver’s revelation shocks even Stefanie.

Stefanie and Oliver successfully deceive their general and form a strong bond in the process.

With their threesome relationships intensifying, Stefanie must confront her own loyalties and emotions while pursuing the truth.

SEASON 1 THIRST – STEAL

A Soldier’s Coming Home 101

Oliver returns to Germany, but his parents’ deaths raise suspicions and lead him on a quest for answers.

Oliver returns to Germany for his father’s funeral and discovers his mother’s sudden passing. He suspects foul play in their deaths and seeks answers. He meets Petra, a homicide detective, who initially dismisses any foul play.

Oliver visits the notary and is handed a recently signed power of attorney, raising suspicions about his mother’s intentions.

In a pub brawl, Oliver gets injured but finds solace in Marie, leading to a deeper connection between them. A restless PTSD with sleeping disorders, he searches his parents house and discovers a hidden compartment containing his mothers diary. A peaceful death, really?

Meet the family, no doubt? 102

As homicide dismisses the need for investigation, Oliver visits the shipyard where his father drowned while the notary schedules the opening of the will.

Oliver and Marie wake up realizing they are cousins, adding complexity to their relationship.

Oliver is surprised by Uncle Hans, who prioritizes his brother’s funeral over a mutual one for both of his parents.

The notary provides Oliver with crucial information, reflecting that he might want to stay a bit longer; and the will’s opening is scheduled.

Oliver visits the shipyard where his father drowned, uncovering potential clues. The general insists Oliver seeks therapy for his war trauma. Meanwhile, Marie helps Oliver find an undertaker for his mother and his mother’s sister, Gabrielle, calls from Switzerland about the funeral.

Oliver confronts the banker regarding his mother’s accounts, presenting his Power of Attorney while Uncle Hans is visited by Johan, another member of the Wind family, questioned if the Water Mill plan would be at risk?

The Will – Family Secrets Emerge 103

Accusations arise, Oliver seeks therapy, and he inherits everything.

Accusations of incestuousness arise from Hans’ 2nd wife, causing tension in the family. Oliver begins therapy sessions with Stefanie, focusing on funeral matters.

Oliver joins Petra during his mother’s autopsy and discovers evidence of foul play. He meticulously searches his parents’ house for more clues.

The will is finally opened, shocking the family as Oliver is the sole heir, he inherits everything. Oliver uses the situation to give a determined speech that he will stay to uncover the truth.

Meeting Uncle Johan, CEO of Water Mill and his daughter Clarice, running business affairs there, doesn’t work so well and Marie reveals the existence of a network of influential individuals, sarcastically known as the Winds.

Funeral for Two- no Fun 104

Oliver investigates the shipyard, homicide finds torture marks, and the funeral divides the family.

Stefanie helps Oliver in therapy, making progress with his emotional struggles.

Oliver observes the shipyard’s peculiar water patterns.

Petra informs Oliver of torture marks on his father’s body before drowning.

Marie reveals her connection to eco-activists and her dream of being an eco-photographer and shows Oliver her pictures of dying lakes and landscape. Oliver uncovers a hasty deal to sell the shipyard.

The funeral takes place, dividing the family, but Oliver gains unexpected support from Gabrielle, his mother’s sister arriving from Geneva and his grandmother. Jürgen appears at the funeral, a shady memory to former life of Oliver.

Walking back from the funeral, a car bomb detonates. Is this the limo Oliver was supposed to sit in?

The Shipyard – Tough Heritage 105

Oliver and Marie pursue Jürgen, investigate the rushed shipyard sale, and question the notary about his mother’s role in the deal.

Oliver and Marie delve deeper into the hasty shipyard sale and its implications while the general urgently seeks information about Stefanie and her unpublished book.

Oliver and Stefanie feel that they are both being manipulated. Oliver questions why someone would rush to buy the shipyard, the notary opens up about his past with Oliver’s mother.

Oliver narrowly escapes an attempted murder by goons. The general presses for information about Stefanie’s therapy techniques and threatens her as well.

Oliver and Petra find out that the car bomb was built from military explosives, stolen in a camp nearby.

Not enough Funds for the Big Plan 106

Marie uncovers Water Mill as buyer, orchestrated by Uncle Hans and Jürgen involved. Oliver introduces Marie to Stefanie.

Marie informs Oliver about the secret agreement made by Johan, orchestrated by Jürgen and Hans.

Marie meets Stefanie for the first time through Oliver, and later on, returns, kissing her right away on the doorstep. .

Oliver drives to the military camp and visits his police colleagues to discuss the car bomb incident. He discreetly takes a handgun.

Oliver confronts Hans regarding the shipyard deal and uncovers the Water Mill’s plans for a new water production facility. His aunt Gabrielle in Switzerland reveals that they lack the funds to finance it alone. The town supports the project, expecting economic growth, but without any financial involvement. This raises questions about Jürgen’s role.

Upon returning to the shipyard, Oliver receives a mysterious message suggesting that he investigate Marie’s past when she worked at the Water Mill.

Shadows Under Water 107

Oliver attends a therapy group, opens up about trauma. Tensions rise when Johann confronts him. Marie proposes polyamorous relationship to Stefanie.

Invited by Stefanie, Oliver attends a group meeting in a nearby town. Right there and then he decides to burst open about his past trauma being abused at the age of seven. Contrary to his lifelong fear, he earns respect from all men in the room. And Stefanie.

Johann approaches Oliver and tensions rise. Clarice warns others about losing their investment in the shipyard, claiming Oliver wants to keep it solely for himself and takes action into her own hands calls her mother.

Stefanie contemplates breaking up with Marie, but Marie proposes an alternative solution. Johan receives a phone call and it is requested to end Oliver’s thirst to unlock the riddle.

The Engine Stutters -No Stopping 108

Johann informs board of shipyard losses. Stefanie’s relationship with Marie is tested. Petra shares intel with Oliver from Organized Crime department.

Johann and Clarice inform the board about potential losses in the shipyard investment due to Oliver’s actions.

Stefanie’s relation with Marie is tested. Oliver is attacked by unknown assailants while driving, but he manages to defeat the attackers and contacts Petra for assistance.

The general grows increasingly impatient for information on Stefanie’s therapy methods. In therapy, Oliver and Stefanie realize they are both being coerced into spying on each other and a plan evolves how to deal with that.

Oliver receives knowledge about the killers and that they are part of an organized group to finish dirty work for hire. Oliver loads the handgun and drives to town.

Tapping into Hidden Shoals 109

Oliver finds a hidden facility at shipyard, Notary reveals mother’s intervention in shipyard sale. Oliver uncovers mother’s visit to notary before death.

Oliver tracks down the hired guns responsible for the attacks on him and cleverly eliminates them. He leaves hidden evidence and informs military police and Petra same time.

Oliver discovers a hidden technical facility beneath the covered docks of the shipyard.

He contacts a soldier friend who monitors satellites over Europe and asks for a favor.

The notary tells Oliver that his parents changed their plans about the inheritance just before his father died.

His mother left everything to Oliver. She accidentally came in one day earlier than scheduled and signed her will.

The notary’s office is being watched.

Petra is visited by military police

Could this become Home again? 110

Oliver moves to shipyard. Notary’s office break-in turns deadly. Oliver seeks Petra’s help. Marie and Stefanie propose polyamorous relationship.

Oliver decides to move to the shipyard and considers living there permanently. Marie surprises him with a revelation.

Petra interrogates Jürgen about the deaths of two Albanians, with a military police officer joining in.

Oliver visits the parents of his late girlfriend BFF and apologizes for never apologizing. He receives a gift from the past.

Oliver and Marie break into the notary’s office for more evidence but find the notary poisoned. Oliver cleverly covers his tracks and contacts Petra for help.

In the midst of all this, Marie and Stefanie suggest a polyamorous but romantic relationship, which shocks Oliver.

Gabrielle calls Johan, and the fate of the notary hangs in the balance. It’s time to clean up this mess.

Unmasking the Culprit/s 111

Oliver uncovers Water Mill’s underground pipeline. Trio prepares for new life at shipyard. Oliver confronts family about illegal deal. Jürgen exposed as mastermind, flees again.

Oliver confronts Hans about the growing evidence against him, resulting in a heated argument.

Oliver shares his doubts and desires for a relationship with both Marie and Stefanie, forming a complex triangle. He commits to the shipyard as their headquarters.

He decides to confront the entire family with the truth, revealing Jürgen as responsible for his best friend’s death 18 years ago and providing evidence of his involvement with the Albanians.

Jürgen escapes, and Johann receives a phone call, while Clarice seeks assistance from her father’s driver. Stefanie confesses that she was Johan’s mistress for a period of time.

Running out of Energy 112

Water Mill’s role revealed in deaths. Marie confronts her father, Hans. Clarice escapes.

Johann faces the consequences of his involvement in the conspiracy and building the tunnel to steal public water. Oliver discovers that the Water Mill played a big part in his parents’ deaths too.

Clarice manages to trick Oliver and Marie and escape the country. She sends a secret message telling Oliver to give up because he can’t beat the conglomerate.

Oliver asks his ISAF friends for help to find Clarice. They discover she’s now in a top position at a famous water and nutrition company in Africa.

Petra finds Jürgen dead with a letter confessing that he killed Oliver’s father. But something doesn’t seem right.

When Petra leaves the scene and calls Oliver, she is shot in the back.

The Healing Begins – doesn’t it? 113

Oliver plans next move, visits assassin for a deal. Clarice ambushed, Oliver shot in Syria. Reunites with Marie and Stefanie. Plans for long rehab.

Oliver returns to his military camp and continues his duties and prepares his next step. He visits Mohammad, the assassin from the first episode, offering him a deal for freedom for himself and his family.

The plan is set in motion together with friends at ISAF to get Mohammad to SA and Clarice is ambushed near the Water Mill headquarters in South Africa.

In a separate incident, Oliver shoots himself in the thigh during his watch in Syria. Oliver sets Mohammad and his wife free before he is flown back home for rehab.

Johan, speaking brokenly, delivers the devastating news over the phone that his daughter has been killed.

Oliver reunites with Marie and Stefanie, embarking joyfully on a journey of healing and envisioning a brighter future together.

As Oliver, Marie, and Stefanie leave the airport, they are followed unnoticed. Oliver’s phone rings and in his earpiece we hear the light French accent of Gabrielle who announces to have him killed because he killed his own sister. – What?

Five Seasons Descriptions

S 1: THIRST – Steal – see above

S 2 : THIRST – Revenge. Oliver MUST BE HUNTED BY GABRIELLE

Someone is retaliating in town, is the conspiracy fighting back? Or is it Gabrielle?

Petra, recovering in the hospital, learns she will need crutches to walk for the rest of her life.

Oliver must protect his loved ones unexpectedly. Johan publicly admits his mistakes in managing the Water Mill but refuses to step down. He has the support of an international group led by Gabrielle’s husband, who are lobbying for him to control water as an asset.

While Oliver investigates Johan’s past, Stefanie and Marie connect the dots. Stefanie was Johan’s mistress while Marie was receiving education at the Water Mill. Marie is shocked to learn that she had a „me too“-experience with Johan.

The Water Mill tries to improve its image by showcasing a traveling exhibition of Marie’s photos, displaying her work before and after her education at the mill. The exhibition showing the destruction of lakes and rivers in the area goes viral, but eco-activists turn against her, leading to online harassment and cancel culture.

Oliver negotiates his future in the army, seeking a position away from war zones and conflicts. The general presents an appealing offer in the capital, but Oliver must first return to the military police headquarters. Stefanie suspects foul play once again.

Team Oliver fights to restore the Water Mill’s reputation, but they continue to be targeted by Gabrielle and face constant threats. They eventually discover the origin of “the cleaner” and her connection to the mastermind behind the ruthless idea of denying water for free.

S3 : THIRST – Future

Stefanie becomes pregnant, and Oliver is transferred from the MP HQ in Hannover to the capital city, Berlin. He commutes four days a week from the shipyard. Marie brings up the topic of getting pregnant and suggests raising the babies together.

Stefanie gives birth, but the next day her baby is swapped with another child and taken from the hospital. It’s clear that Stefanie and the baby don’t match and don’t bond with each other. A blood test reveals that it’s a “raven child,” not her biological baby. Oliver and Marie start investigating the situation, finding out that the other mother was picked up and taken to her apartment, only to disappear from there. Oliver seeks assistance from his friends in the US and Czech armies to trace any leads.

Oliver tries to adapt to life in Berlin and understands the differences in this unique war zone of politics and lobbying. He discovers evidence of a powerful water lobby pushing for unrestricted control over potable water, without any public oversight.

Marie confronts her father, Hans, who is currently without any responsibilities. Taking advantage of his weakened state, Marie takes over Hans’s position on the Water Mill board.

Gabrielle contacts Stefanie and outlines the procedure she expects Stefanie to follow, believing that Stefanie wants her baby to be in good care. In the background, we see a nanny with a baby, and Clarice in a wheelchair.

S 4: THIRST – New Endings

Oliver decides to leave Berlin as he finds the war there too unpleasant and dirty. He requests to find a military position closer to his hometown, but the decision is „in the air“.

Clarice returns to town in a wheelchair, with half of her face and body reconstructed by top cosmetic surgeons. She now communicates through an AI-generated voice module connected to her brain. Her presence back in town is not a good sign.

Oliver and Marie successfully locate Gabrielle’s resort in Switzerland and manage to re-kidnap and to escape with Stefanie’s baby.

Marie convinces the board to reject Clarice’s re-entry into any position at the Water Mill.

Gabrielle contacts Stefanie and warns of retaliation.

Marie becomes pregnant, bringing joy to the triple. Johan confirms that Clarice is not Gabrielle’s daughter, but the sister of Oliver’s late mother.

Sadly, Marie loses the baby in a car accident a few months later. It remains uncertain for not very long until Gabrielle coldly tells Stefanie over the phone that such accidents happen every day and that she too could be a victim.

Hans, devastated by the loss of his unborn grandchild and suspecting Clarice’s involvement in seeking revenge, makes a terrible decision. During a Zoom call with Gabrielle, he pushes Clarice’s wheelchair into the lake, with Clarice still strapped to it.

S 5 : THIRST – 4 Thirst

Marie becomes the Chairwoman of the advisory board and decides to stay at the Water Mill full-time monitoring the management.

Oliver and Marie find certain of Stefanie’s advice strange and decide to observe her quietly.

Oliver wins the bid to provide security services at the Water Mill, even though Marie has concerns about the compliance. However, she’s glad she wasn’t involved in the decision. Oliver plans to leave the army and start a security company in their hometown and at the Mill.

Stefanie reaches out to Gabrielle, hoping for help to escape her difficult life.; and ease hers. But her real motive is to find out if Gabrielle was involved in her child’s kidnapping.

Gabrielle kidnaps Stefanie and frames Uncle Hans for the crime, as part of her plan to control the water industry.

Hans shows up at the meeting point and gets shot, while Petra and the police arrive too late. Stefanie goes missing.

Oliver, Marie, and Stefanie’s baby must find Stefanie and bring the person who killed Hans to justice.
Jan Fantl

Member
May 21, 2023 at 1:47 pm in reply to: Lesson 10

Jan’s Episode Titles

WIL : allow yourself for another round of creativity and re check for great titles.

THIRST – Season One – STEAL

A Soldier’s Coming Home

Meet the Family?

The Will – Family Secrets Emerge

A Funeral – No Fun

The Shipyard – A Heavy Heritage

Too Poor for the Big Plan?

Shadows Under Water

The Engine Stutters – No Stopping

Hidden Shoals

Could This become Home Again?

Unmasking the Culprit/s

Running Out of Energy

The Healing Begins – Doesn’t it?
Jan Fantl

Member
May 20, 2023 at 4:57 pm in reply to: Lesson 6
Jan’s pitch bible – show summary

WIL: dig and delve, ask, ask and ask again, fine tune – go back , then fine tune. And then start again.

THIRST

Commercial Hour Action Thriller

By

MvPA

Concept

A military police officer returns from a war zone to assist his mother with his fathers funeral finds her dead too, probably both killed, taking on his relatives and hometown involved and slowly grows from investigator into vigilante.

World

The small town world of stuffy corruption and conspiracy, uncovered by a military police investigator as he breaks into a powerful conglomerate, illegally privatizing potable water in the country.

Thought-provoking on the pressing issue of water scarcity it is set in the Lake District Spreewald in Germany.

Show Summary

THIRST follows the story of Oliver Wind, an active military police officer who returns from Syria to attend his father’s funeral. Upon landing in Germany, he receives the devastating news of his mother’s passing. Amidst the grief, Oliver is compelled to investigate their deaths, suspecting foul play. He uncovers a hidden web of corruption and conspiracy surrounding the privatization of water in his long-abandoned hometown.

In a city where he is disliked by almost everyone, the haunting memory of a car accident that took his best friend’s life 18 years ago continues to overshadow Oliver’s existence. Despite inheriting his parents’ properties, he becomes embroiled in a dangerous struggle involving estranged family members, influential politicians, and powerful conglomerates. Constantly facing threats to his life, Oliver forms unlikely alliances with his cousin Marie and therapist Stefanie, who provide unwavering support and become pillars of strength. Together, they navigate the complexities of love, loyalty, and join forces to fight for justice and protect the world’s most valuable resource—potable water.

Character Descriptions

OLIVER WIND – 37ish

Oliver is a good investigator, a brilliant interrogator, and a relentless military police officer.

He is the silently unappreciated black sheep of the family who returns home for his parents’ funerals. He must investigate the real reasons for their deaths and will stop at nothing to uncover the truth.
However, his uncle Hans and the corrupt middle class cobweb of this stuffy hometown may try to stop him. Oliver deeply dislikes his family, except for his granny and his late mother.

Oliver left town at the age of 17, for a very specific reason when he was blamed for driving without license with a borrowed car and causing an accident, in which his girl friend BFF died. He was involved but didn’t cause it yet the town and worse, his family didn’t trust his words. He ran away, became a soldier and almost never visited home.

Surprisingly before he manages to leave town quickly this time, he is finding into a modern poly armoire relationships among his cousin Marie and his army therapist Stefanie. Together they discover a huge illegal water deal and its connection to his parents.

In the therapy with Stefanie he also learns to open up about the way deeper wound and real reason he left town and his strained relationship with his world.

He forces himself and Marie into deadly situations and refuses to spy on Stefanie. Though he finds peace and joy with his loved ones, he may ultimately choose to cross the line and become a vigilante to achieve justice.

MARIE WIND – 26ish

Marie, a young and ambitious eco photographer, works as a bartender in the town’s nightlife scene, where she meets Oliver, a military officer coming to visit to bury his parents.

Despite discovering they are cousins, Marie is torn between her growing feelings for Oliver and loyalty to her family. As they work to uncover the truth about his parents’ deaths, Marie falls in love with Oliver’s therapist, Stefanie, leading her on a journey to explore her sexuality. However, her family may not know.

Her family has a long-standing connection to the corrupt dealings in town. Despite Marie is determined to uncover the truth, she feels from time to time uncertain how to remain her position as her fathers heir and the nice life waiting.

Marie must confront her family’s wrongdoings and works determined and intelligently with Oliver and Stefanie to expose the Water Mill’s dangerous owners and their involvement in the countries corrupt dealings.

STEFANIE MUELLER, Dr., 42ish

Stefanie is a psychologist specializing in treating war PTSD. When Oliver is ordered by his general to seek therapy during his leave, he becomes her new patient. When Oliver hides in talking about his parents’ suspected murder and funeral, Stefanie deals with it patiently and becomes his sound board to help him cope with his family and the townspeople.

Stefanie has been an active therapist in war zones like Afghanistan and therefore they find quickly to a level of the same traumatizing or dulling anecdotes. However, as Stefanie’s personal connections to the Water Mill are revealed, matters become more complicated.

To add to the complexity, Marie falls for Stefanie and seduces her, leading Stefanie to delve into experimenting with bisexuality. Stefanie’s unpredictable behavior, including sleeping with her patient’s girlfriend, troubles her, but Marie convinces her to invite Oliver into a polyamorous relationship.

Stefanie’s proactive and intellectual nature, as well as her intriguing history and relationships, make her a key player in the team efforts to uncover the truth about Oliver’s parents’ deaths and the Water Mill deal while she desperately tries to finish her book that will change the ways to treat PTSD.

As they dig deeper, Stefanie and Oliver realize that they have been told to spy on each other by their general. He refuses to accept that their might be a better way to help soldiers to deal with war traumata as well as requests to find out if Oliver is still a loyal officer and leader. Stefanie and Oliver decide to form a counter-conspiracy to fool their commanding officer.

Meanwhile, Stefanie reveals her own hidden trauma from her time in war zones. She encourages Oliver to explore his past beyond the war and accompanies him into his early childhood which leads to a dramatic, historical and life changing moment for Oliver when he was abused. Oliver’s revelation shocks even Stefanie.

Stefanie and Oliver successfully deceive their general and form a strong bond in the process.

With their threesome relationships intensifying, they must confront their own loyalties and emotions while pursuing the truth.

Episode Descriptions

SEASON 1 – STEAL

101 A Soldier’s Coming Home

Oliver returns to Germany, but his parents’ deaths raise suspicions and lead him on a quest for answers.

Oliver returns to Germany for his father’s funeral and discovers his mother’s sudden passing. He suspects foul play in their deaths and seeks answers. He meets Petra, a homicide detective, who initially dismisses any foul play.

Oliver visits the notary and is handed a recently signed power of attorney, raising suspicions about his mother’s intentions. In a pub brawl, Oliver gets injured but finds solace in Marie, leading to a deeper connection between them. A restless PTSD with sleeping disorders, he searches his parents house and discovers a hidden compartment containing his mothers diary. A peaceful death, really?

102: Meet the family

As homicide dismisses the need for investigation, Oliver visits the shipyard where his father drowned while the notary schedules the opening of the will.

Oliver and Marie wake up realizing they are cousins, adding complexity to their relationship. Uncle Hans, who prioritizes his brother’s funeral over a mutual one surprises Oliver. The notary provides Oliver with crucial information, reflecting that he might want to stay a bit longer; and the will’s opening is scheduled. Oliver visits the shipyard where his father drowned, uncovering potential clues. The general insists Oliver seeks therapy for his war trauma. Meanwhile, Marie helps Oliver find an undertaker for his mother, his mother’s sister, Gabrielle, calls from Switzerland about the funeral. Oliver confronts the banker regarding his mother’s accounts, presenting his Power of attorney while Uncle Hans is visited by Johan, another member of the Wind family, questioned if the WM plan would be at risk?

103: Family Secrets Emerge

Accusations arise, Oliver seeks therapy, and he inherits everything.

Accusations of incestuousness arise from Hans’ wife, causing tension in the family. Oliver begins therapy sessions with Stefanie, focusing on funeral matters. Oliver joins Petra during his mother’s autopsy and discovers evidence of foul play. He meticulously searches his parents’ house for more clues. The will is finally opened, shocking the family as Oliver is the sole heir, he inherits everything. Oliver gives a determined speech that he will stay to uncover the truth. Meeting Uncle Johan and cousin Clarice doesn’t work so well and Marie reveals the existence of a network of influential individuals, sarcastically known as the Winds.

104: A Funeral – no Fun

Oliver investigates the shipyard, homicide finds torture marks, and the funeral divides the family.

Stefanie helps Oliver in therapy, making progress with his emotional struggles. Oliver realizes the shipyard’s peculiar water patterns and investigates further. Petra informs Oliver of torture marks on his father’s body before drowning. Marie reveals her connection to eco-activists and her dream of being an eco-photographer. Oliver uncovers a hasty deal to sell the shipyard. The funeral takes place, dividing the family, but Oliver gains unexpected support from Gabrielle, his mother’s sister arriving from Geneva and his grandmother. Jürgen appears at the funeral, a shady memory to former life of Oliver. Walking back from the funeral, a car bomb detonates. Was this the limo Oliver is supposed to sit in?

105: Unraveling Motives

Oliver and Marie pursue Jürgen, investigate the rushed shipyard sale, and question the notary about his mother’s role in the deal.

Oliver and Marie delve deeper into the hasty shipyard sale and its implications while the general urgently seeks information about Stefanie’s therapy methods in her unpublished book. Oliver attends another therapy session with Stefanie, leading to a realization that they are both being manipulated. Oliver questions why someone would rush to buy the shipyard, the notary opens up about his past with Oliver’s mother. Oliver narrowly escapes an attempted murder by goons. The general presses for information about Stefanie’s therapy techniques and threatens both. Oliver and Petra find out that the car bomb was built from military explosives, stolen in a camp nearby.

106 Not enough Funds for the Big Plan

Marie uncovers the shipyard sale details: Water Mill buyer, orchestrated by Uncle Hans, with Jürgen’s involvement. Oliver introduces Marie to Stefanie.

Marie provides Oliver with information about the shipyard sale being handshake closed with Johan from the Water Mill, orchestrated by Jürgen and Hans. Marie meets Stefanie first time through Oliver and later returns, kissing her right away on the doorstep. Oliver drives to the military camp and pays a visit to his police colleagues about the car bomb, steals a handgun. Oliver confronts Hans about the shipyard deal, discovering the Water Mill’s plans for a new water production facility. He spoke to Gabrielle in Switzerland found out that they don’t have the funds to finance this alone. The town welcomes the project, anticipating economic growth but has no financial involvement. Oliver returning to the shipyard gets mysterious message suggesting to investigate Marie’s past when she worked at the Water Mill.

107: Shadows over Dark Waters

Oliver attends a therapy group, opens up about trauma. Tensions rise when Johann confronts him. Marie proposes polyamorous relationship to Stefanie.

Oliver attends a group meeting in a nearby town, where he opens up about his past trauma, being abused at the age of seven, earning respect from others. Johann approaches Oliver and tensions rise. Johann warns others about losing their investment in the shipyard, claiming Oliver wants to keep it solely for himself. Clarice takes action into her own hands and calls her mother in Switzerland, while Stefanie contemplates breaking up with Marie, but Marie proposes an alternative solution. Johan receives a phone call and it is requested to end Oliver’s thirst to unlock the riddle.

108: The Engine stutters – No Stopping

Johann informs board of shipyard losses. Stefanie’s relationship with Marie is tested. Petra shares intel with Oliver from Organized Crime department.

Johann informs Clarice and the board about potential losses in the shipyard investment due to Oliver’s actions. Stefanie’s relationship with Marie is tested. Oliver is attacked by unknown assailants while driving, but he manages to defeat the attackers and contacts Petra for assistance. The general grows increasingly impatient for information on Stefanie’s therapy methods. In therapy, Oliver and Stefanie realize they are both being coerced into spying on each other and a plan evolves how to deal with that. Oliver receives knowledge about the killers and that they are part of an organized group to finish dirty work for hire. Oliver loads the handgun and drives to town.

109: Uncovering Hidden Secrets

Oliver finds hidden facility at shipyard, Notary reveals mother’s intervention in shipyard sale. Oliver uncovers mother’s visit to notary before death.

Oliver discovers a hidden technical facility beneath the covered docks of the shipyard, leading him to suspect the Water Mill’s involvement. Oliver uses his friendship to a soldier from USA army who flies and monitors satellites over Europe and asks for favor and to check underground in depth around the shipyard while he finds the group of goons behind the attacks on him and finishes them smartly. He leaves evidence and informs military police.

The notary reveals how his parents have dealt with a mutual understanding how to divide their heritage so that his father could sell the shipyard but after his death his mother rewrote this unsigned will and inherited everything to Oliver accidentally came in one day earlier than scheduled and signed her will. The notary’s office is under surveillance too. Petra is visited by military police

110: Could this become Home again?

Oliver moves to shipyard. Notary’s office break-in turns deadly. Oliver seeks Petra’s help. Marie and Stefanie propose polyamorous relationship.

Oliver decides to move to the shipyard and considers living there permanently. Marie surprises him with a revelation. Jürgen is interrogated by Petra about two dead Albanians, a military police officer joining. Oliver and Marie break into the notary’s office for additional evidence but find the notary poisoned. Oliver cleverly covers his tracks and contacts Petra for assistance. Meanwhile, Marie and Stefanie suggest a polyamorous yet romantic relationship which shocks Oliver. Gabrielle calls Johan, will the notary make it? We need to clean this all up.

111: Confronting the Culprit

Oliver uncovers Water Mill’s underground pipeline. Trio prepares for new life at shipyard. Oliver confronts family about illegal deal. Jürgen exposed as mastermind, flees again.

Oliver confronts Hans about the mounting evidence against him, leading to a heated exchange. Oliver opens up to Marie and Stefanie about his doubts and his hopes for their relationship in a triangle form.But he is in. And the shipyard. He decides to confront the entire family with the truth, exposing Jürgen as the main villain responsible for his best friend’s death 18 years ago. Jürgen flees, and Johann receives a call while Clarice seeks help from her father’s driver. Stefanie confesses that she was Johan’s mistress for a while.

Episode 12: Running out of Energy

Water Mill’s role revealed in deaths. Marie confronts her father, Hans. Clarice escapes.

Johann faces the consequences of his involvement in the conspiracy, and there is no room for negotiation. Oliver discovers that the Water Mill played a significant role in his parents’ deaths. Followed by Oliver and Marie, Clarice manages to trick them and to escape the country. She sends a cryptic message for Oliver to give up, he has no ops against the lead conglomerate. Oliver enlists the help of his ISAF friends to locate Clarice. It shows that she has risen to a prominent position in a renowned water and nutrition company in Africa. Petra finds Jürgen dead with a confessing letter next to him. When leaves the site calling Oliver, Petra is shot in the back.

Episode 13: The Healing Begins – doesn’t it?

Oliver plans next move, visits assassin for a deal. Clarice ambushed, Oliver shot in Syria. Reunites with Marie and Stefanie. Plans for long rehab.

Oliver returns to his military camp and continues his duties while planning his next move. He visits Mohammad, the assassin from the first episode, offering him a deal that would grant freedom for him and his family. The plan is set in motion together with friends at ISAF and others to get Mohammad to SA. Clarice is ambushed near the Water Mill headquarters in South Africa. Oliver is shot on his watch in Mali in the thigh. Oliver sets Mohammad and his wife free and is flown back home for rehabilitation, where he reunites with Marie and Stefanie, starting the healing process and seeking a brighter future together. Leaving the airport, an unknown spy is following them, in his earpiece we hear the light French accent of Gabrielle who gives the go to kill Oliver because he killed his sister.

Five Seasons Descriptions

S 1: THIRST – Steal – see above

S 2 : THIRST – Revenge

Somebody is cleaning up in town, is the conspiracy striking back?. Petra, recovering in hospital, learns she will never walk again without clutches. Oliver suddenly needs to investigate FOR his family and protect them: Who is killing one after the other in the tribe. Johan publicly confesses mistakes in his Water Mill management nevertheless does not step down and is even backed by an international consortium of potable water producers who are lobbying for him – water will – and must – become an asset.

While Oliver digs deeper on Johan’s past, Stefanie steps up and confesses that she was Johan’s mistress while Marie was in education at the Mill. Marie is shocked as she had a „Me-too“ experience with Johan. At the same time.

The Water Mill produces as a sign of a good will and learning curve a traveling exhibition of photos of Marie „before and after“- her pics when she was educated in the Mill and did beauty shots of the landscape and then when she photographed the landscape as it actually is. The presentation goes viral and the eco activists are sudden enemies to her and start to ghost her. Cancel culture kicks in.

Oliver negotiates his future in the army – away from war zones and pub brawls- what do they have to offer? The general has an attractive offer in the capitol but first he must return to the MP HQ – Stefanie suspects foul play – again.

Team Oliver fight for the Water Mill to regain it’s reputation, they are foul played again. Yet finally find the „cleaner“ and her link to the master mind behind the unmerciful idea of „no water for free“

S3 : THIRST – Future

Stefanie becomes pregnant, Oliver is assigned from the MP HQ (Hannover) to the capitol in Berlin – commutes 4 days a week from the shipyard. Marie triggers discussion if she should get pregnant too and to have and raise the babies almost together.

Stefanie gives birth; a day later her baby is exchanged for another one and taken from the hospital. When Stefanie and the baby obviously do not match nor like each other, a blood test shows it’s a „raven child“. Oliver and Marie investigate that the „other“ mother was picked up and transported to her apartment only to disappear from there. Oliver pleads for help from his US and CZ soldier buddies to assist to find traces.

Oliver tries to acclimatize in Berlin and has his tasks to understand the difference in this very different war zone of politics and lobbyism. He finds traces there about a strong water lobby, in fact pushing merciless towards publics zero control over potable water.

Marie confronts her father Hans who in this case is without any responsibility. Marie uses this period of weakness to take over Hans’s seat in the Water Mill board.

Stefanie is contacted by Gabrielle and described the procedure she demands to be followed by her, believing Stefanie wants her baby in good custody. In the back ground of Gabrielle we see a nanny, a baby. And Clarice in a wheel chair

S 4: THIRST – New Endings

Oliver leaves Berlin, this war is to stinky and dirty for him. He seeks a military position closer to hometown and it is discussed yet not to decided.

Clarice returns in a wheel chair, half face and body reproduced by top cosmetic surgeons, yet she has to speak through an AI generated voice Modul tied to her brain. Having her back in town is no good sign.

Oliver and Marie manage to find Gabrielle’s resort in Switzerland and to escape from there with Stefanie’s baby.

Marie manages that the board is refusing to allow Clarice any function in the Water Mill.

Gabrielle is calling Stefanie announcing to retaliate

Marie becomes pregnant. Johan opens up that Clarice is not Gabrielle’s daughter but her sisters, Oliver’s mother.

Marie will loose the baby only a few month later in a car accident – foul play or bad luck? Gabrielle explains on the phone to Stefanie that such a bad accident happens every day and it could happen to her as well.

Hans is devastated and believes that Clarice has skin in this revenge makes him make bad decisions. While on a zoom call with Gabrielle, he pushes the wheelchair into the lake – with Clarice tight to it.

S 5 : THIRST – 4 Thirst

Marie takes over as Chairwoman of the advisory board and introduces herself as manager that will be permanently on the premise.

Oliver and Marie feel that some of Stefanie’s advice is „kind of weird“ and has a new not convincing quality. They decide to quietly observe.

Oliver wins the tender call for the new security services in the Water Mill. Marie is not happy in terms of governance but on the other hand happy as she had totally no skin in this decision. Oliver plans to leave the army and run a security company in hometown and the Mill.

Stefanie gets in contact with Gabrielle and is curious and ambitious if she can help her to find a way out of the life long misery. In fact Stefanie seeks to find out if is involved in her child’s kidnapping

Stefanie gets kidnapped by Gabrielle. And makes Uncle Hans look like the kidnapper is a different party, she plays for her own success in the water monopoly.

Hans shows up at the appointed hand over location and is shot while Petra and the police show up a minute too late. But Stefanie cannot be found.

Oliver, Marie and Stefanie’s baby must overcome this and find Stefanie. And…. there is a murder out there who must pay for killing Hans, Marie’s father.
- This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by Jan Fantl.
Jan Fantl

Member
May 14, 2023 at 5:31 pm in reply to: Lesson 5
<div>Jan’s. Episode Descriptions .. including corrections from class 4 </div>

WIL: …. ? ( maybe not to give up when you don’t know how to proceed?)

—- and there are still real flaws in the mid section

Episode 1: Oliver returns to Germany for his father’s funeral and mother passed too, he suspects foul play

Episode 1: A Soldier’s Coming Home

Oliver returns to Germany for his father’s funeral
discovers his mother’s sudden passing.

He suspects foul play in their deaths and seeks answers.

Oliver visits the notary and finds a recently signed power of attorney,

This raises suspicions about his mother’s intentions.

He meets Petra, a homicide detective, who initially dismisses any foul play.

In a pub brawl, Oliver gets injured but finds solace in Marie, leading to a deeper connection between them.

Cliffhanger: Restless in dawn, Oliver discovers his mothers diary

Episode 1: A Soldier’s Coming Home

HOOK/INTRIGUE: Oliver returns to Germany for his father’s funeral and discovers his mother’s sudden passing.

MAIN CHARACTER JOURNEY: Oliver must meet his family and navigate the stuffy world of his hometown

MAJOR CHALLENGE/CONFLICT: Oliver must seek answers about his parents’ deaths
ACTION/REACTION: Oliver investigates his parents’ house and discovers a hidden compartment containing his mother’s diary.

CLIFFHANGER: The discovery of his mother’s diary shows a first hint at the hidden truths surrounding his parents’ deaths.

Episode 1: A Soldier’s Coming Home

Oliver returns to Germany for his father’s funeral and discovers his mother’s sudden passing. He suspects foul play in their deaths and seeks answers. He meets Petra, a homicide detective, who initially dismisses any foul play.

Oliver visits the notary and finds a recently signed power of attorney, raising suspicions about his mother’s intentions. In a pub brawl, Oliver gets injured but finds solace in Marie, leading to a deeper connection between them. A restless PTSD with sleeping disorders , he searches his parents house and discovers a hidden compartment containing his mothers diary. A peaceful death, really?

Episode 2: Oliver and Marie realize they are cousins. Oliver visits shipyard.

Episode 2: Meet the family

Oliver and Marie wake up realizing they are cousins,

Petra continues to see no need for investigation

Oliver meets Uncle Hans, who prioritizes his brother’s funeral over a mutual one

The notary provides Oliver with crucial information, and the will’s opening is scheduled.

Oliver visits the shipyard where his father drowned, uncovering potential clues.

The general insists Oliver seeks therapy for his war trauma.

Meanwhile, Marie helps Oliver find an undertaker for his mother
Oliver confronts the banker regarding his mother’s accounts.

Cliffhanger: Uncle Hans receives a visit from Johan. Is the WM-deal at risk?l

Episode 2: Meet the Family

HOOK/INTRIGUE: Oliver and Marie wake up realizing they are cousins, adding complexity to their relationship.

MAIN CHARACTER JOURNEY: While police refuses to investigate Oliver faces the challenge and confronts family members
A

CTION/ REACTION Oliver join forces with Marie to uncover the truth. He receives additional intel from the notary.

MAJOR CHALLENGE/CONFLICT: ACTION/REACTION: Oliver is on his own after Uncle Hans prioritizes one funeral over two mutual ones. Oliver finds with Marie assist an undertaker himself

CLIFFHANGER: Uncle Hans receives a visit from Johan, a member of the wider family/tribe Is the WM-deal at risk?

Episode 2: Meet the family

Oliver and Marie wake up realizing they are cousins, adding complexity to their relationship. Uncle Hans, who prioritizes his brother’s funeral over a mutual one surprises Oliver. The notary provides Oliver with crucial information, reflecting that he might want to stay a bit longer; and the will’s opening is scheduled. Oliver visits the shipyard where his father drowned, uncovering potential clues. The general insists Oliver seeks therapy for his war trauma. Meanwhile, Marie helps Oliver find an undertaker for his mother, and Oliver confronts the banker regarding his mother’s accounts, presenting his. Power of attorney while Uncle Hans is visited by Johan, another member of the Wind family, questioned if the WM would be at risk?

Episode 3: Accusations of incestuousness arise. Oliver obliged to see shrink. Oliver inherits everything.

Episode 3: Family Secrets Emerge

Accusations of incestuousness arise,
tension in the family.

Oliver begins therapy sessions with Stefanie, focusing on funeral matters.

Oliver joins Petra during his mother’s autopsy and discovers evidence of foul play.

Oliver searches his parents’ house for more clues.

The will is finally opened, shocking the family with Oliver as sole heir.

Oliver gives a speech he will stay until the truth is uncovered.

Marie reveals to Oliver the existence of a network most of the Windsor part of.

Episode 3: Family Secrets Emerge

HOOK/INTRIGUE: Accusations of incestuousness arise from Hans’ wife, causing tension in the family.

MAIN CHARACTER JOURNEY: Oliver joins Petra during his mother’s autopsy and discovers evidence of foul play.

MAJOR CHALLENGE/CONFLICT: At the reading of the will Oliver becomes the sole heir; he responds that he will not stay longer than necessary to solve the death of his parents.

ACTION/REACTION: Oliver sees therapist Stefanie as he was obliged by his general, to address his emotional struggles. Oliver begins therapy sessions with Stefanie, focusing on scapegoats.

CLIFFHANGER: Marie unveils a shocking detail about her family, the network of the Winds

Episode 3: Family Secrets Emerge

Accusations of incestuousness arise from Hans’ wife, causing tension in the family.

Oliver begins therapy sessions with Stefanie, focusing on funeral matters.

Oliver joins Petra during his mother’s autopsy and discovers evidence of foul play.

He meticulously searches his parents’ house for more clues.

The will is finally opened, shocking the family as Oliver inherits everything.

Oliver gives a determined speech to uncover the truth.

Marie reveals the existence of a network of influential individuals known as the Winds.

Episode 4: The therapy kicks in, The funeral is weird; Oliver discovers a toxic substance linked to his father’s death.

Episode 4: Darker Waters

Stefanie helps Oliver to make progress with war traumata;

Oliver realizes the shipyard’s peculiar water patterns and investigates further.

Petra informs Oliver of torture marks on his father’s body before drowning.

Oliver asks Petra to have his father’s stomach and blood samples checked for certain chemicals;

Marie reveals her connection to eco-activists and her dream of being an eco-photographer.

Oliver uncovers a hasty deal to sell the shipyard,

The funeral takes place, dividing the family,

Oliver gains unexpected support from his grandmother.

Jürgen, a much disliked acquaintance re appears in Oliver’s live.

Uncle Hans urges Marie to drive with them, Maris insists to walk with Oliver

Cliffhanger : A car bomb detonates on the graveyard compound, was this Oliver’s limo?

Episode 4: Darker Waters

HOOK/INTRIGUE: Stefanie helps Oliver in therapy, making progress with his emotional struggles.

MAIN CHARACTER JOURNEY: Oliver continues to investigate the shipyard sale and its implications.

MAJOR CHALLENGE/CONFLICT: Petra reports torture marks and Oliver must gather evidence and discovers a toxic substance that could be linked to his father’s death,

ACTION/REACTION: Oliver realizes the shipyard’s peculiar water patterns and investigates further.

CLIFFHANGER: Walking back from the funeral, car bomb detonates. Was this the limo Oliver is supposed to sit in?

Episode 4: Darker Waters

Stefanie helps Oliver in therapy, making progress with his emotional struggles. Oliver realizes the shipyard’s peculiar water patterns and investigates further. Petra informs Oliver of torture marks on his father’s body before drowning. Marie reveals her connection to eco-activists and her dream of being an eco-photographer. Oliver uncovers a hasty deal to sell the shipyard, involving Jürgen, a disliked acquaintance. The funeral takes place, dividing the family, but Oliver gains unexpected support from his grandmother while Jürgen appears at the funeral, a shady memory to former life of Oliver. Walking back from the funeral, car bomb detonates. Was this the limo Oliver is supposed to sit in?

Episode 5:- Oliver and Marie delve into the shipyard sale and the Water Mill’s connection to a high-ranking government official. The general presses on both spies

Episode 5: Bubbly Reasons

Petra investigates the car bomb assassination on Oliver ,

Oliver and Marie were not in the limo because he followed Jürgen

Oliver and Marie delve deeper into the hasty shipyard sale

Oliver interviews the notary, about his mother’s influence on stepping back from the deal

The notary opens up being a long timer admirers of his mother

The general urgently seeks information about Stefanie’s therapy methods.

Oliver attends another therapy session with Stefanie, leading to a realization that they are both being manipulated.

Oliver questions why someone would rush to buy the shipyard
Oliver narrowly escapes an attempted murder by goons.

The general threatens Stefanie for information about Oliver’s state of mind

Episode 5: Bubbly Reasons

HOOK/INTRIGUE: Oliver and Marie delve deeper into the hasty shipyard sale and its implications.

MAIN CHARACTER JOURNEY: Oliver must open up to Stefanie to uncover the motives behind the generals approach;

CHALLENGE/CONFLICT: Oliver faces resistance from the Water Mill organization and its powerful connections.

ACTION/REACTION: Oliver and Marie investigate the shipyard’s sale and the general urgently seeks information about Stefanie’s therapy methods.

CLIFFHANGER: The Stefanie receives a call from the general, he threatens her to uncover a hidden file containing classified information about the Water Mill’s connection to a high-ranking government official. And to her.

Episode 5: Bubbly Reasons

Oliver and Marie delve deeper into the hasty shipyard sale and its implications while the general urgently seeks information about Stefanie’s therapy methods. Oliver attends another therapy session with Stefanie, leading to a realization that they are both being manipulated. Oliver questions why someone would rush to buy the shipyard, the notary opens up about his past with Oliver’s mother. Oliver narrowly escapes an attempted murder by goons. The general presses for information about Stefanie’s therapy techniques and threatens her.

Episode 6: Unveiling the Water Mill’s Plans. Marie unveiling her feelings for Stefanie

Episode 6: Diving into the Plans

Marie provides Oliver with information about the shipyard sale
t

he Water Mill was the buyer and the deal orchestrated by Uncle Hans

Jürgen planning run for a political career in the state was involved as well as matchmaker

Marie picks up Oliver and is introduced to Stefanie

Marie later returns, convincing her to reconsider a relationship.

Oliver confronts Hans about the shipyard deal, discovering the Water Mill’s plans for a new water production facility, they seemingly have no funds for.

Who is cash flowing these deals buying all these properties in the Lake District?
The town welcomes the project, anticipating economic growth.

Oliver receives a message suggesting to stay away from Marie and to investigate her past with the Water Mill.

Episode 6: Diving into the Plans

HOOK/INTRIGUE: Marie provides Oliver with information about the shipyard sale being orchestrated by the Water Mill.

MAIN CHARACTER JOURNEY: Oliver and Marie work together to expose the Water Mill’s plans and protect their loved ones.

MAJOR CHALLENGE/CONFLICT: Oliver doesn’t know that Marie shows her feelings for Stefanie while unraveling the Water Mill’s plans.

ACTION/REACTION: Marie meets Stefanie and later returns to convince her to reconsider their relationship.

CLIFFHANGER: Oliver receives a mysterious message suggesting to stay away from Marie and to investigate her past with the Water Mill.

Episode 6: Diving into the Plans

Marie provides Oliver with information about the shipyard sale being handshake closed with Johan from the Water Mill, orchestrated by Jürgen and Hans. Marie meets Stefanie first time through Oliver and later returns, convincing her to consider a relationship. *?missing* Oliver confronts Hans about the shipyard deal, discovering the Water Mill’s plans for a new water production facility. While he found out that they don’t have the funds to finance this alone. The town welcomes the project, anticipating economic growth but has no financial involvement. Oliver returning to the shipyard gets mysterious message suggesting to investigate Marie’s past with the Water Mill.

Episode 7: Johann reveals his true allegiance, putting Oliver’s life in danger. Oliver takes a stand and opens on his ultimate core wound.

Episode 7: Shadows on Lee side

Oliver attends a week end group meeting in a nearby town,

Oliver opens up about his past trauma, earning respect from others.
J

ohann approaches Oliver, and tensions rise.

Johann warns others about losing their investment in the shipyard, claiming Oliver wants to keep it solely for himself.

Stefanie contemplates breaking up with Marie, but Marie proposes an alternative solution to maintain a polyamorous relationship.

Cliffhanger: Clarice drives by her father Johan, who is talking on the phone, ordering an end to this Oliver situation.

Episode 7: Shadows on Lee side

HOOK/INTRIGUE: Oliver attends a group meeting in a nearby town where he opens up about his past core trauma.

MAIN CHARACTER JOURNEY: Oliver confronts his inner demons and gains the respect of others through his honesty.

MAJOR CHALLENGE/CONFLICT: Oliver faces tensions with Johann and must navigate his true allegiance.

ACTION/REACTION: Johann approaches Oliver, and tensions rise between them.
CLIFFHANGER: Johann reveals a shocking secret about his involvement with the Water Mill, exposing his true allegiance and putting Oliver’s life in danger.

Episode 7: Shadows on Lee Side

Oliver attends a group meeting in a nearby town, where he opens up about his past trauma, earning respect from others. Johann approaches Oliver and tensions rise. Johann warns others about losing their investment in the shipyard, claiming Oliver wants to keep it solely for himself. Clarice takes action into her own hands while Stefanie contemplates breaking up with Marie, but Marie proposes an alternative solution to maintain a polyamorous relationship. And Johan requests to end Oliver’s thirst to unlock the riddle.

Episode 8: Oliver’s plan to make the shipyard his home. Huge losses ahead Johann and Clarice starting to react and act.

Episode 8: No Stopping

Johann informs Clarice and the board about potential losses in the shipyard investment due to Oliver’s actions.

Stefanie’s relationship with Marie is tested.

Oliver is attacked by unknown assailants while driving, but he manages to escape.

He retaliates by defeating the attackers and contacts Petra for assistance.

The general grows increasingly impatient for information on Stefanie’s therapy methods.

therapy, Oliver and Stefanie realize they are both being coerced into spying on each other.

Oliver and Stefanie develop a plan how to report as spies while giving away nothing.

Petra receives intel from department Organized crime and forwards it
Oliver has now a lead onto a group of dirty-work -for-hire!

Cliffhanger: He asks buddies at ISAF in Prague and Warsaw to investigate on the killers

Episode 8: No Stopping

HOOK/INTRIGUE: Johann informs Clarice and others about potential losses in the shipyard investment due to Oliver’s actions.

MAIN CHARACTER JOURNEY: Oliver strives to uncover the truth and protect those close to him from the Water Mill’s retaliation.

MAJOR CHALLENGE/CONFLICT: In therapy, Oliver and Stefanie realize they are both being coerced into spying on each other and a plan evolves how to deal with that while maintaining their relationship

ACTION/REACTION: S Oliver is attacked by unknown assailants while driving, but he manages to escape. He retaliates by defeating the attackers and contacts Petra for assistance.

CLIFFHANGER: Oliver network with soldier buddies at ISAF in Prague and Warsaw to investigate on the killers

Episode 8: No Stopping

Johann informs Clarice and the board about potential losses in the shipyard investment due to Oliver’s actions. Stefanie’s relationship with Marie is tested. Oliver is attacked by unknown assailants while driving, but he manages to escape. He retaliates by defeating the attackers and contacts Petra for assistance. The general grows increasingly impatient for information on Stefanie’s therapy methods. In therapy, Oliver and Stefanie realize they are both being coerced into spying on each other and a plan evolves how to deal with that. Oliver receives knowledge about the killers and that they are part of an organized group to finish dirty work for hire.

Episode 9: Oliver realizes he has been under constant surveillance and confronts the Water Mill’s involvement.

Episode 9: Deep Dive for Hidden Secrets

Oliver discovers a hidden technical facility beneath the covered docks of the shipyard,

Oliver suspects the Water Mill is involved.

The notary reveals that Oliver’s father had planned to sell the shipyard but his mother intervened to keep it in the family.

Oliver learns that his mother revisited the notary’s office a day before her death to finalize the will.

The notary is under surveillance too.

Episode 9: Deep Dive for Hidden Secrets

HOOK/INTRIGUE: Oliver discovers a hidden technical facility beneath the covered docks of the shipyard.

CHARACTER JOURNEY: Oliver must uncover deeper layers of the conspiracy and confronts tUncle Hans and Johan at Water Mill head-on.

MAJOR CHALLENGE/CONFLICT: Oliver must navigate the dangerous facility and gather evidence against the Water Mill.

ACTION/REACTION: Oliver explores the secret water pipeline and stumbles upon a room filled with surveillance equipment

CLIFFHANGER: we learn that the notary is under surveillance too

Episode 9: Deep Dive for Hidden Secrets

Oliver discovers a hidden technical facility beneath the covered docks of the shipyard, leading him to suspect the Water Mill’s involvement. Oliver uses his friendship to a soldier from USA army who flies and monitors satellites over Europe and asks for favor and to check underground in depth around the shipyard

The notary reveals how his parents have dealt with a mutual understanding how to divide their heritage so that his father could sell the shipyard but after his death his mother rewrote this unsigned will and inherited everything to Oliver accidentally came in one day earlier than scheduled and signed her will, while we learn the notary os under surveillance too.

Episode 10: – Oliver and Marie discover crucial evidence, find notary poisoned. Oliver calls Petra.

Episode 10: Homecoming of a Son

Oliver decides to move to the shipyard
considers living there permanently.

Marie surprises him with a revelation.

Oliver and Marie break into the notary’s office for additional evidence but find the notary poisoned.

Oliver cleverly covers their tracks and contacts Petra for assistance.

Marie and Stefanie suggest a polyamorous relationship, they both want to explore loving him same time.

Oliver is shocked, will refuse the offer?

Episode 10: Homecoming of a Son

HOOK/INTRIGUE: Oliver decides to move to the shipyard and considers living there permanently.

MAIN CHARACTER JOURNEY: Oliver seeks closure and builds a future while continuing his investigation.

MAJOR CHALLENGE/CONFLICT: Oliver must balance his personal life with his pursuit of justice.

ACTION/REACTION: Oliver and Marie break into the notary’s office for additional evidence.

CLIFFHANGER: Oliver is speechless when Marie and Stefanie suggest a threesome romance.

Episode 10: Homecoming and Intrigue

Oliver decides to move to the shipyard and considers living there permanently. Marie surprises him with a revelation. Oliver and Marie break into the notary’s office for additional evidence but find the notary dead from poisoning. Oliver cleverly covers his tracks and contacts Petra for assistance. Meanwhile, Marie and Stefanie suggest a polyamorous yet romantic relationship which shocks Oliver.

Episode 11: Oliver confronts Jürgen and makes him flee, Oliver invites Marie and Stefanie to movie, accepts experiment

Episode 11: Thirst for Trust

Oliver confronts Hans about the mounting evidence against him,

Oliver opens up to Marie and Stefanie about his doubts and hopes for their relationship.

Oliver receives intel from his USArmy buddy, there is a huge underground pipeline leading for several miles to the unifier that belongs to the Water Mills license.

Oliver and his two new life partners preparing at the shipyard for a threesome life.

Oliver confronts the entire family with the truth, Hans putting this illegal deal together, forcing his own brother to sell his shipyard while already preparing the pipeline to steal the water from public.

Oliver exposes Jürgen as the middleman ordering of all the killings via hisAlbanian contacts

And it was Jürgen who was responsible for his best friend’s death 18 years ago.

Jürgen flees, like back then;

Johann receives a call
Clarice seeks help from her father’s driver.

Episode 11: Thirst for Trust

HOOK/INTRIGUE: Oliver receives intel from his US Army buddy about a significant underground pipeline leading to the Water Mill’s unifier.

MAIN CHARACTER JOURNEY: Oliver confronts Hans about the mounting evidence against him, setting the stage for a confrontation and potential revelations.

MAJOR CHALLENGE/CONFLICT: Oliver must confront Hans and the entire family with the truth, exposing their involvement in illegal deals and the manipulation of his father’s death. He also faces the challenge of exposing Jürgen’s connection to his friend’s death 18 years ago.

ACTION/REACTION: Oliver opens up to Marie and Stefanie, expressing his doubts and hopes for their relationship, showing his growth and willingness to build a new life. He, Marie, and Stefanie prepare for a threesome life and take action to confront the culprits.

CLIFFHANGER: When Jürgen escapes, Clarice seeks help from her father’s driver, hinting at her involvement.

Episode 11: Thirst for Trust

Oliver confronts Hans about the mounting evidence against him, leading to a heated exchange. Oliver opens up to Marie and Stefanie about his doubts and hopes for their relationship. And the shipyard. He decides to confront the entire family with the truth, exposing Jürgen as the main villain responsible for his best friend’s death 18 years ago. Jürgen flees, and Johann receives a call while Clarice seeks help from her father’s driver.

Episode 12: Johann faces consequences for the Mill, Claire manages to escapes, setting the stage for a thrilling pursuit.

Episode 12: Out of Energy

Johann faces the consequences of his involvement in the conspiracy,

Clarice manages to escape

Oliver proves that the Water Mill played a significant role in his parents’ deaths.

Marie confronts her father „Uncle Hans“

Clarice tricks the Oliver team and flees the country,

The general is unsatisfied with the intel on Stefanie,

Oliver enlists the help of his ISAF friends to locate Clarice, who has risen to a prominent position in a renowned water company

Oliver announces his return to Mali

Clarice leaves a cryptic message behind for Oliver,

.

12: Out of Energy

HOOK/INTRIGUE: Johann faces the consequences of his involvement in the conspiracy.

MAIN CHARACTER JOURNEY: Oliver must confront everybody involved in his parents’ deaths
MAJOR CHALLENGE/CONFLICT: Oliver must navigate either the legal system and gather enough evidence or become a vigilante

ACTION/REACTION: Oliver enlists the help of his ISAF friends to locate Clarice and confronts Johann who confesses that Clarice took the reins out of his hands

CLIFFHANGER: Clarice leaves a cryptic message behind for Oliver, hinting at her involvement in a much larger conspiracy than he ever would anticipate, and asks him to lay low

Episode 12: Out of Energy

Johann faces the consequences of his involvement in the conspiracy, and there is no room for negotiation. Oliver discovers that the Water Mill played a significant role in his parents’ deaths. Followed by Oliver and Marie, Clarice manages to trick them and to escapes the country. Oliver enlists the help of his ISAF friends to locate Clarice, who has risen to a prominent position in a renowned water and nutrition company, sends a cryptic message for Oliver to give up, he has no ops against the main conglomerate.

Episode 13: Oliver returns to his military base and sets a plan to take Clarice down without becoming a vigilante. Oliver, Marie, and Stefanie are pursued by a highly trained assassin.

Episode 13: The Healing Begins

Oliver returns to his military camp
Oliver is back on duty, planning his next move.
He visits the assassin from the first episode, offering him a deal that could grant him freedom with his family.
The plan is set in motion together with friends at ISAF and others to get Mohammad to SA.
Clarice is ambushed near the Water Mill headquarters in South Africa.
Same time Oliver is shot on his watch in Mali in the thigh.
Oliver sets Mohammad and his wife free taking an oath from him
Oliver is flown back home ,
Oliver reunites with Marie and Stefanie,
Oliver plans for long rehab and healing process.

Leaving the airport, laughing unaware of an unknown character is following them, in his earpiece we hear the go to kill Oliver.

Episode 13: The Healing Begins

HOOK/INTRIGUE: Oliver returns to his military camp and plans his next move.

MAIN CHARACTER JOURNEY: Oliver seeks redemption and closure while focusing on his healing and rehabilitation.

MAJOR CHALLENGE/CONFLICT: Oliver must navigate his physical and emotional challenges, reconcile with his past, and protect himself and his loved ones from the unknown spy.

ACTION/REACTION: Oliver visits Mohammad, offering him a deal for freedom and sets a plan in motion with the help of his ISAF friends.

CLIFFHANGER: As Oliver, Marie, and Stefanie leave the airport, they are being followed by an unknown spy who has been ordered to kill Oliver.

Episode 13: The Healing Begins

Oliver returns to his military camp and continues his duties while planning his next move. He visits Mohammad, the assassin from the first episode, offering him a deal that could grant him freedom with his family. The plan is set in motion together with friends at ISAF and others to get Mohammad to SA.Clarice is ambushed near the Water Mill headquarters in South Africa. During the operation, Oliver is shot on his watch in Mali in the thigh. Oliver sets Mohammad and his wife free and is flown back home for rehabilitation, where he reunites with Marie and Stefanie, starting the healing process and seeking a brighter future together. Leaving the airport, an unknown character is following them, in his earpiece we hear the go to kill Oliver, setting the stage for a thrilling and dangerous pursuit in the upcoming season.
- This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by Jan Fantl.
- This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by Jan Fantl.
Jan Fantl

Member
May 13, 2023 at 5:36 pm in reply to: Lesson 4
Jan’s Episode List Rough Draft

WIL: setting foot into details, away from the focus on characters and flaws et al, thus keeping them in mind yet now structure story flows and acts.

1. Beginning: Oliver returns home to find both parents died within 48 hours. Suspecting foul play, he takes on his corrupt hometown and own tribe to uncover a dark conspiracy . …… Finding justice for his parents’ deaths, he turns to the new relationship and doesn’t realize that the mastermind still has them under surveillance, promising that the game just started .(Cliffhanger).

2. Mystery Set : Oliver investigates why his parents were killed, what have they done or hindered and who wanted them out of the way and who did it practically?

Mystery Solved: his father closed a deal to sell the shipyard for an enormous price but stepped back after his wife made him to. The mother was killed because she told a relative she would change the will and inherit everything to Oliver. By accident the will was changed indeed one day before the killers arrived and killed her. So now Oliver is in the way not knowing in the way of what.

Mystery 2 : What happened 18 years ago and made Oliver leave town?

Almost all tribe condemned and blamed him for causing the death of his former bestie when they were 16 and drove a car without license.

Solved : In fact it was Jürgen who caused the accident only to not run for help but away and lying to his father the car dealer, Oliver would have stollen the car. And the family didn’t believe and not strong enough to take a stand for him

Mystery 3 : Oliver works in therapy what is the true event that made Oliver the way he developed?

He was homosexually abused at the age of 7 by a way older teenager on his grannies birthday celebration when Hans was „hired“ to nanny the small kids of the tribe. And now 31 years he breaks free to bury this inside his soul.

3. Lead Character journey begins when Oliver faces the death of two of his soldiers in an ambush on his watch

Journey peaks, when he finds a way to kill the responsible for the dead of his father without turning into a vigilante.

Layers:

The foul play, his parents die by/own tribe involved

Homicide refuses to investigate, too obvious, why?

Oliver and Marie are cousins, continue love life;

Is Marie trustworthy?

Killers hired by own family

Marie meets Stefanie

Parents in the way of a big time conspiracy?

Own tribe stealing potable water from the public?

Bad guy not the mastermind?

Fathers involved in the conspiracy;

Stefanie/ Oliver refuse to spy on each other as requested.

Oliver meets citizens who blamed him 18 years ago/

opens up what really happened back then 31 years ago.

Stefanie, Marie convince Oliver to love them both as they will love him.

Main Story Line: to find the murderers of Olivers parents;

SL 2 Marie and Oliver romance – Marie and Stefanie romance – the Triplet romance

SL 3 Oliver , Uncle Hans, the family and the past

SL 4 The PTSD theory, the general and the spy agenda with Stefanie

SL 5 The war trauma therapy class and the deepest wounds of all of them

SL 6 Oliver, the shipyard and the other heritage -and being in somebodies way

SL 7 Marie and the decision who she wants to be in life

SL 8 Stefanie, Oliver the general and their army agenda

S1 Eps

Episode 1: Oliver returns to Germany for his father’s funeral and mother passed too, suspects foul play

Episode 2: Oliver and Marie realize they are cousins. Oliver visits shipyard.

Episode 3: Accusations of incestuousness arise. Oliver obliged to see shrink. Oliver inherits everything

Episode 4: The therapy kicks in, The funeral is weired; Oliver discovers a toxic substance linked to his father’s death,

Episode 5:- Oliver and Marie delve into the shipyard sale and the Water Mill’s connection to a high-ranking government official. The general presses on both spies

Episode 6: Unveiling the Water Mill’s Plans. Marie unveiling her feelings for Stefanie

Episode 7: Johann reveals his true allegiance, putting Oliver’s life in danger. Oliver takes a stand and opens on his ultimate core wound.

Episode 8: Oliver’s plan to make the shipyard his home. Huge losses ahead Johann and Clarice starting to react and act.

Episode 9: Oliver realizes he has been under constant surveillance and confronts the Water Mill’s involvement.

Episode 10: – Oliver and Marie discover crucial evidence, find notary poisoned. Oliver calls Petra.

Episode 11: Oliver confronts Jürgen and makes him flee, Oliver invites Marie and Stefanie to movie, accepts experiment

Episode 12: Johann faces consequences for the Mill, Claire manages to escapes, setting the stage for a thrilling pursuit.

Episode 13: Oliver return to his military base and sets a plan to take Calrice down without becoming a vigilante. Oliver, Marie, and Stefanie are pursued by a highly trained assassin.

S1 Eps TITLES, SHORT and CLIFFS

Episode 1: A Soldier’s Coming Home

Oliver returns to Germany for his father’s funeral and discovers his mother’s sudden passing. He suspects foul play in their deaths and seeks answers.

Cliffhanger: While investigating his parents’ house, Oliver discovers a hidden compartment containing his mothers diary

Episode 2: Meet the Family

Oliver and Marie wake up realizing they are cousins, adding complexity to their relationship. Uncle Hans, who prioritizes his brother’s funeral over a mutual one surprises Oliver.

Cliffhanger: Uncle Hans receives a mysterious phone call that leaves him visibly shaken, hinting at a hidden agenda.

Episode 3: Family Secrets Emerge

Accusations of incestuousness arise from Hans’ wife, causing tension in the family. The will is opened, Oliver inherits it’s all. Oliver begins therapy sessions with Stefanie, focusing on funeral matters.

Cliffhanger: During therapy, Stefanie accidentally reveals a shocking detail about her past that connects her to Oliver’s father’s death.

Episode 4: Unveiling Darker Secrets

Stefanie helps Oliver in therapy, making progress with his emotional struggles. The funeral takes place. Oliver realizes the shipyard’s peculiar water patterns and investigates further.

Cliffhanger: While examining water samples from the shipyard, Oliver discovers a toxic substance that could be linked to his father’s death, pointing towards a deliberate act.

Episode 5: Unraveling Motives

Oliver and Marie delve deeper into the hasty shipyard sale and its implications. The general urgently seeks information about Stefanie’s therapy methods.

Cliffhanger: The general discovers a hidden file containing classified information about the shipyard and the Water Mill’s connection to a high-ranking government official.

Episode 6: Unveiling the Water Mill’s Plans

Marie provides Oliver with information about the shipyard sale being orchestrated by the Water Mill. Marie meets Stefanie and later returns, convincing her to reconsider their relationship.

Cliffhanger: Marie receives a mysterious message threatening her to stay away from Oliver and the investigation, leaving her in fear for her safety.

Episode 7: Confronting the Shadows

Oliver attends a group meeting in a nearby town, where he opens up about his past core trauma, earning respect from others. Johann approaches Oliver, and tensions rise.

Cliffhanger: Johann reveals a shocking secret about his involvement with the Water Mill, exposing his true allegiance and putting Oliver’s life in danger.

Episode 8: No Stopping

Johann informs Clarice and others about potential losses in the shipyard investment due to Oliver’s actions. Stefanie’s relationship with Marie is tested.

Cliffhanger: Stefanie receives a threatening message warning her to stop helping Oliver, or else her dark secret will be exposed to the world.

Episode 9: Uncovering Hidden Secrets

Oliver discovers a hidden technical facility beneath the covered docks of the shipyard, leading him to suspect the Water Mill’s involvement. The notary reveals that Oliver’s mother threatened his father to step back from the sale of the shipyard and intervened to keep it in their family.

Cliffhanger: While exploring the secret water pipeline, Oliver stumbles upon a room filled with surveillance equipment and realizes he’s been under constant surveillance since his arrival in his hometown.

Episode 10: Homecoming of a Son

Oliver decides to move to the shipyard and considers living there permanently. Marie surprises him with a revelation. Oliver and Marie break into the notary’s office for additional evidence but find the notary poisoned.

Cliffhanger: Just as Oliver and Marie discover a crucial piece of evidence in the notary’s office, they hear footsteps approaching, indicating that someone else is in the room with them.

Episode 11: Confronting the Culprit

They quickly hide, fearing they’ve been caught in the act. Oliver manages to call Petra from homicide

Oliver confronts Hans about the mounting evidence against him, leading to a heated exchange. Oliver opens up to Marie and Stefanie about his doubts and hopes for their relationship and the shipyard. He decides to confront the entire family with the truth, exposing Jürgen as the main villain responsible for his best friend’s death 18 years ago. Jürgen flees, and Johann receives a call while Clarice seeks help from her father’s driver.

Cliffhanger: As Oliver confronts Jürgen in a final showdown, Jürgen reveals a shocking revelation that turns Oliver’s world upside down, leaving him questioning everything he thought he knew about his past.

Episode 12: Out of Energy

Johann faces the consequences of his involvement in the conspiracy, and there is no room for negotiation. Oliver lays out that the Water Mill played a significant role in his parents’ deaths. But not Johann. Clarice manages to escape and flees the country. Oliver enlists the help of his ISAF friends to locate Clarice, who has risen to a prominent position in a renowned water and nutrition company in South Africa.

Cliffhanger: Oliver learns that Clarice is highly secured in Cape Town, there is access to her

Episode 13: The Healing Begins

Oliver explains Marie and Stefanie there is unfinished business and returns to his military camp and continues his duties. He visits Mohammad, the assassin from the first episode, offering him a deal that would grant him to walk with his family. The plan is set in motion and soldier friends around the globe assist to get Mohammad into South Africa. Clarice is ambushed near th a village that has been deprived of their water rights. operations in South Africa. Parallel to this operation, Oliver is shot in the thigh on his watch in Mali. Oliver sets Mohammad and his wife free and is flown back home for rehabilitation, where he reunites with Marie and Stefanie, starting the healing process and seeking a brighter future together.

Cliffhanger: Just as Oliver, Marie, and Stefanie leave the airport, an somebody is following them. As they don’t realize they are being closely pursued by a highly trained assassin, we hear in his earpiece, the command to eliminate Oliver, Cliffhanger setting the stage for S2
- This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by Jan Fantl.
Jan Fantl

Member
May 9, 2023 at 7:08 pm in reply to: Lesson 3
Subject line: Jan’s 5 seasons

WIL: my brain froze first time in this class. I started to think and rethink, and experienced a writer’s block. I got I even got cranky and held monologues about the nonsense of designing 4 more seasons already. Nothing came. But, I think by the deep work in module 1 and the final FW, I am so deeply sown in that I worked overnight in my sleep and in the morning 4 seasons were ready to be roughly tuned and written down. here we go.

S 1: THIRST – Steal ,coming soon.

S2 : THIRST – Revenge

Somebody from the cobweb or WM-deal conspiracy is cleaning up in town, (The conspiracy strikes back) Petra (homicide), recovering in hospital, learns she will never walk again without clutches, if so.

Oliver is suddenly needed to investigate FOR his family not against, who is killed one after the other.

Johan publicly confesses mistakes had been made in his Water Mill management, nevertheless does not step down and is even backed by an international consortium of potable water producers who are lobbying for him – water will – and must – become an asset.

The Water Mill produces as a sign of a good will and learning curve a traveling exhibition of photos made Marie „landscape before and after“- her pics when she was educated in the Mill and did beauty shots of the landscape and then when she shows the landscape as is. The presentation goes viral and the eco activists are sudden enemies, try to ghost her. Cancel culture kicks in.

Oliver negotiates his future in the army – away from war zones and pub brawls- what do they have to offer? The general has an attractive offer in the capitol but first he must return to the MP HQ – Stefanie suspects foul play – again.

Team Oliver fight for the Water Mill to regain it’s reputation, they are foul played again. Yet finally find the „cleaner“ and her link to the master mind behind the unmerciful idea of „no water for free“

S3 : THIRST – Future

Stefanie becomes pregnant, Oliver is assigned from the MP HQ (Hannover) to the capitol in Berlin – commutes 4 days a week. Marie triggers discussion if she should get pregnant too and to have and raise the babies almost together.

Stefanie gives birth; a day later her baby is exchanged for another one and taken from the h.ospital. When Stefanie and the baby obviously do not match nor like each other, a bloodtest shows it’s a „raven child“. Oliver and Marie investigate that the „other“ mother was picked up and transported to her apartment only to disappear from there. Oliver pleads for help from his US and CZ soldier buddies to assist to find traces.

Oliver tries to acclimatize and find his stance in the Capitol and has his problems to understand this very different war zone of politics and lobbyism. Yet he finds traces in the water lobby and inside the two parties, one that is in fact lobbying and the other one that is pushing merciless towards the zero tolerance aim of water control.

Marie confronts her father Hans who in the case of the raven baby has no responsibility. Marie uses this period of weakness to take over Hans’s seat in the Water Mill.

A party we haven’t met yet contacts Stefanie and describes the ongoing deal they wish to be followed by her, believing she wants the baby in good custody. In the back ground of the caller we see a nanny obviously wit desert back grinds.

S 4: THIRST New Endings

Clarice returns in a wheel chair, half face and body reproduced by top cosmetic surgeons, yet she has to speak through an AI generated voice Modul tied to her brain. Having her back in town is no good sign.

Oliver leaves Berlin, this war is too stinky and dirty for him. He seeks a military position closer to hometown which is discussed yet not to decided.

Marie becomes pregnant, she will loose the baby only a few month later in a car accident – foul play or bad luck? Hans is devastated and the theory that Clarice has skin in this revenge makes him make bad decisions.

S 5 : THIRST 4 Thirst

Marie takes over as Chairwoman of the advisory board and introduces herself as one that will be permanently on the premise.

Oliver and Marie feel that some of Stefanie’s advice is „kind of weird“ and has a new not convincing quality. They decide to quietly observe.

Oliver wins the tender call for the new security services in the Water Mill. Marie is happy as she had totally no skin in this decision. He plans to leave the army and run a security company in hometown and the Mill.

Stefanie gets in contact with Clarice and is curious and ambitious if she can help her to find a way out of the life long misery. In fact Stefanie seeks to find out if Clarice is involved in her child’s kidnapping

Stefanie gets kidnapped by Clarice. And no, Clarice is a different party, she wants to play the kidnapper for her own succcess.

Oliver, Marie and Stefanie’s baby must overcome this and find peace. And yet …. There is a murder out there who must pay for killing Hans, Marie’s father.
- This reply was modified 2 years ago by Jan Fantl.
Jan Fantl

Member
May 9, 2023 at 6:26 pm in reply to: Lesson 2

WIL: doing this assignment is…keep returning/ / stay in the question and keep then going forward by fine tuning.

Assignment M2 L2 Thirst

ROLE: Oliver a silently unappreciated black sheep of the family returns for his parents funerals – and must investigate the real reasons for their deaths – stopping at nothing.

Noteworthy Traits: good Investigator, brilliant interrogator, relentless officer/ police officer.

There are these reasons he left town, almost never visited home and deeply dislikes his family despite his granny and his mother

Intrigue? Willing to investigate himself, fight with homicide, town hall, his general , his family, risk his career. Will uncle Hans or the forces behind him, be able to stop him ?

Mystery: What is this WM water deal and had his parents to do with it? ? What are the real reason he left town, and he can’t stand his tribe / family?

Drive conflict: forcing himself and Marie into deadly situations, refuses to spy on Stefanie

Irony: returns home to bury parents – to find love, peace and joy.

Opposing agendas : investigating own family while being with Marie who works for the water mill.

Unpredictable: Will he cross lines to become a vigilante?

Intriguing relationships : Marie, Stefanie , the notary, uncle Hans, Clarice, Johann

Intriguing side kicks: ISAF Pavel, USA Army , drone pilot, secretary assist in the MP HQ

Oliver is a good investigator, a brilliant interrogator, and a relentless military police officer. He is the silently unappreciated black sheep of the family who returns home for his parents’ funerals. He must investigate the real reasons for their deaths and will stop at nothing to uncover the truth.
However, his uncle Hans or the corrupt middle class behind him of this stuffy hometown may try to stop him. He deeply dislikes his family, except for his granny and his late mother. Oliver left town for some reason and rarely visited home. Finding into a modern poly armoire relationships among Marie, Stefanie and him, they discover a huge illegal water deal and its connection to his parents.

In the therapy with Stefanie he also learns to open up about the real reason he left town and his strained relationship with his family.

He forces himself and Marie into deadly situations and refuses to spy on Stefanie. Though he finds peace and joy with his loved ones, he may ultimately choose to cross the line and become a vigilante to achieve justice.

Role: Marie, a nightlife bar tender working on her career as eco photographer will risk her well being to expose her families wrong doings – falls in love with Oliver, shortly after with his therapist,

Noteworthy traits: Intelligent, independent, compassionate.

Intriguing history: Her family’s connection to the water mill and the town’s corrupt dealings.

Intrigue: Willing to risk her heritage and safety to help uncover the truth. Will the water mill’s powerful and dangerous owners find out?

Mystery: What is the true extent of the water mill’s involvement in the corrupt dealings of the town, and how much does Marie know?

Drive conflict: Torn between family and her growing feelings for Oliver. Putting herself in danger to help him.

Irony: Falling in love with the person who is Oliver’s therapist to explore her bi sexuality

Unpredictable: Which life path and – style will she choose ?

Intriguing relationships: Oliver, Stefanie, her father Hans, the water mill owners, and her own family.

START:

Marie, an eco photographer and bartender, meets Oliver, a military officer returning home to bury his parents.

MIDDLE:

As Marie helps Oliver investigate his parents’ death, she falls for him and shortly after his therapist, Stefanie, and grapples with her family’s corrupt ties to the town.

END:

Marie works with Oliver and Stefanie to expose the dangerous owners of the water mill and confront her family’s wrongdoings.

Marie, a young and ambitious eco photographer, works as a bartender in the town’s nightlife scene, where she meets Oliver, a military officer coming to visit to bury his parents.

Despite discovering their cousins, Marie is torn between her growing feelings for Oliver and loyalty to her family. As they work to uncover the truth about his parents’ deaths, Marie falls in love with Oliver’s therapist, Stefanie, leading her on a journey to explore her sexuality. However, her family’s connection to the town’s corruption creates uncertainty for Marie as she confronts their wrongdoings.

Her family has a long-standing connection to the corrupt dealings in town. Despite Marie is determined to uncover the truth feels from time to time uncertain how to remain her position as her fathers heir and the nice life waiting.

Marie must confront her family’s wrongdoings and works determined and intelligently with Oliver and Stefanie to expose the water mill’s dangerous owners and their involvement in the town’s corrupt dealings.

Stefanie

Who is the character? Role in the show? Therapist / Guardian

Noteworthy traits – proactive, aware, intellectual

Intriguing history – her own war experiences and trauma

Intrigue – revenge against military, commotion w other scientists, will the General find out that she is not spying on Oliver?

Mystery? What is her personal connection with Johan and Clarice? What is she hiding from her own time in war zones?

How do they support or drive the conflict with others? She forces Oliver to ego further back than the war to his youth; She discusses with Marie how to introduce the plan for the triplet with Oliver

Irony — Opposites or paradoxes that exist with the character. Oliver & Stephanie, assigned to spy on each other, become teammates.

Opposing agendas/etc. that naturally causes conflict with other characters

Unpredictable?

Intriguing relationship with one or more characters. Stefanie sleeps with her patients girl friend while encouraging him to open up.

START: Stefanie is a war PTSD therapist and guardian to Oliver, who’s ordered to see her while on leave.

MIDDLE: They become entangled in a web of deception and personal trauma, including Stefanie’s connections to the water mill. Marie seduces Stefanie for a bi sexual experience and convinces her to invite Oliver into a polyamorous relationship.

END: Stefanie, Oliver and Marie form a strong bond while successfully deceiving their general.

Stefanie is a psychologist specializing in treating war PTSD. When Oliver is ordered by his general to seek therapy during his leave, he becomes her new patient. Oliver is more interested in talking about his parents’ suspected murder and funeral, and Stefanie becomes his sound board to help him cope with his family and the townspeople. However, as Stefanie’s personal connections to the water mill are revealed, matters become more complicated. To add to the complexity, Marie falls for Stefanie and seduces her, leading them to experiment with bisexuality. Stefanie’s unpredictable behavior, including sleeping with her patient’s girlfriend, troubles her, but Marie convinces her to invite Oliver into a polyamorous relationship.

Stefanie’s proactive and intellectual nature, as well as her intriguing history and relationships, make her a key player in the team efforts to uncover the truth about Oliver’s parents’ deaths and the water mill deal. As they dig deeper, they realize that they have been told to spy on each other by their general. Stefanie and Oliver decide to form a counter-conspiracy to fool their commanding officer. Meanwhile, Stefanie reveals her own hidden trauma from her time in war zones. She encourages Oliver to explore his past beyond the war and into his youth which leads to a dramatic and historical moment for Oliver.

Stefanie and Oliver successfully deceive their general and form a strong bond in the process. With their threesome relationships intensifying, they must confront their own loyalties and emotions while pursuing the truth.
Jan Fantl

Member
May 9, 2023 at 6:14 pm in reply to: Lesson 1

Jan’s Intriguing Concept and World

WIL: Keep to plane, rasp and file

1. Present your Concept.

A military police officer returns home from a war zone to assist with his father’s funeral, only to find his mother dead as well. Suspecting foul play, he takes on his corrupt hometown and own relatives to uncover a dark conspiracy to steal potable water from the public. As he investigates, he transforms from an investigator to a vigilante seeking justice for his parents’ deaths.

2. Tell us the World of this show.

Unique Sub-World: The web of corruption in a small German town is unique and insidious. <div>

<div>

Previously unexplored: How to silently suppress justice for your own family’s tribe and personal gain

TheUnknown: The discreet charm of a German mid-sized town’s bourgeoisie cobweb in the 21st century.

The Unseen: A town selling its water and well rights for a few million dollars under the guise of secrecy, knowing that its citizens will suffer as a result. A vigilante takes on the fight for the people’s rights and investigations fail;

Unheard of Dangers: A powerful conglomerate is determined to make people worldwide pay for access to potable water, risking the lives of millions.

Reason to explore it: Explore New Ways to Keep Your Heritage and Surroundings Alive.

The Thirst World: A web of conglomerates pressuring and bribing town hall representatives and political networkers to sell water and well rights for millions, all in pursuit of making billions. Private landowners and anyone who stands in their way are being killed as preparation for a world where we must all pay to avoid dying of thirst.

</div></div>
Jan Fantl

Member
May 6, 2023 at 10:55 am in reply to: Lesson 12

Subject Line: Jan is ready for feedback!

WIL: I love bullet points – now even more. Going over them again and again I failed here and there yet it will help tremendously during the next weeks, I believe.
Jan Fantl

Member
May 5, 2023 at 5:30 pm in reply to: Lesson 4

Jan’s reposted after it got lost here:

WIL: diver deeper and deeper into long time rubbing and exploring characters.

Hidden agendas: Upon arriving, Oliver’s overt agenda is to uncover the truth behind his parents’ deaths and bring their killers to justice. However, his ulterior motive is to uncover the roles of his relatives in the web of corruption that pervades the town, including the water conspiracy. This includes a personal vendetta against his long-time opponent who played a role in his past struggles and caused him to leave town at the age of 17 and 11 month.

Competition: Oliver is fiercely competitive, especially in his professional life as a police officer in military jurisdiction. His biggest competition comes from Klara, a detective in the public homicide division who is equally ambitious in her field. Oliver and Klara are often at odds, but their rivalry drives them both to be better at their jobs. They constantly try to outdo each other, but deep down they respect each other’s skills and dedication to the job. From time to time Oliver sees even his valuable ally cousin Marie as a potential rival in their investigation.

Conspiracy: Oliver believes that a larger conspiracy is at play behind his parents’ deaths and the privatization of potable water in the Lake District and Cottbus. He suspects that powerful individuals and organizations are working together to control resources and exert their influence. His counter-conspiracy is awakened when nobody in town or in the military bureaucracy is willing to listen or act. He uses all the strings and favors he can pull from his internationally built network of ISAF and military police collaborations.

Secrets: Oliver has secrets related to his military service in Afghanistan and his struggles with accepting his rising PTSD. He also has a secret as to why he never returns home between assignments, but rather spends his time off and holidays somewhere far away, ever since his father spoke with him at the age of 17 and 10 months.

Deception: Oliver may resort to deception or manipulation in order to protect those he cares about. He may also withhold information from his allies or lie to his enemies in order to gain an advantage. Additionally, he pretends to have repressed the behaviors of his family and the Wind tribe that led to him running away and leaving town in shame.

Wound: Oliver carries an emotional wound related to his past in Cottbus. At the age of 17, he and two friends drove without a driver’s license out of town, causing an accident where the car landed in one of the canals of the lake district. Oliver’s best friend was trapped behind the wheel, and while his other friend pretended to get help and ran away, Oliver tried but couldn’t save his best friend. She slowly drowned in his arms, and he was blamed for the accident. This event has haunted him ever since and caused him to struggle with guilt and feelings of inadequacy. This main wound is compounded by his traumatic experience in Afghanistan, resulting in him slowly developing PTSD.

Secret Identity: Oliver doesn’t have a secret identity in the traditional sense, but he may use aliases or go undercover to gather information or carry out his investigations. In a way, he is a secret law and order vigilante.

Marie:

Hidden agendas: Marie’s hidden agenda is to become a leading artist of the eco movement while make a living from her pictures. And little later she seeks to find out what role her father, Hans Wind, may have played in her uncle’s death. She also has a secret desire to explore her bisexuality, which she has not yet acted upon.

Competition: Marie is in competition with herself, as she struggles to balance her personal and professional life. She also has a competitive relationship with Oliver about practical intelligence, as they often challenge each other’s ideas and approaches to the investigation.

Conspiracy: Marie acts as an agent provocateur by providing her landscape pictures to a group of eco-activists in order to increase pressure on local and federal politicians. However, after Oliver arrives, she begins to suspect that her uncle’s death was not an accident and that there is more to the story than she has been told. She teams up with Oliver to investigate her own family and others involved in the conspiracy.

Secrets: Marie’s biggest secret is her desire to explore her bisexuality. She has not yet acted upon it, as she is afraid of how her conservative family and community would react.

Deception: Marie desires to become a renowned photographer especially in the context of saving the planet yet she hides her activities as she wants to remain the heiress of her parent’s wealth.

Wound:Marie’s wound is compounded by three factors and leads to a sense of inner isolation due to her lack of direction and identity. The conservative family she grew up with has a clear idea of how Marie should live her life. Bartending is not an acceptable profession, and neither would be her seeking to explore her own sexuality as a bisexual woman. She feels like an outsider in both her small town and in her eco-activist group, where she can’t reveal her wealthy heiress background or that she took the beautiful pictures for the campaign of the water mill.

Now, she’s even investigating her own family for murder. All these layers of isolation rub against each other, and the wound of “who am I, and who do I want to become?” cannot heal.

Secret Identity: Bisexual. Marie wants to live as a bisexual woman and be surrounded by a community that accepts her private desires and emotions. However, she does not expect this to be fulfilled in a polyamorous relationship among three partners.

Stefanie

Hidden agendas:Despite her professional and emphatic demeanor, Stefanie harbors a deep-seated desire for revenge against the military establishment that she believes has failed her patients. She has a strong desire to help her patients overcome their trauma and find a path forward, but also secretly works on a book to expose the flaws in the system and demand accountability.

Competition: Stefanie is in competition with other mental health professionals who may not agree with her unorthodox methods or her outspoken advocacy. She sees herself as a trailblazer and a rebel, but also recognizes that her approach may not be well-received by everyone.

Conspiracy: Stefanie has suspicions about the military’s handling of PTSD and related issues. She believes that there may be underlying agendas at play that are not in the best interest of Oliver and other soldiers and therefore she backs Oliver when his superiors start to ask questions.

Secrets: Stefanie keeps her personal life very private, which enables her to keep her own unresolved trauma and PTSD hidden from most people in her life.

Deception: Stefanie is intentionally deceptive and protective of her patients’ privacy in her professional work, often avoiding revealing certain details or information at all costs. Additionally, she initially pretends to have no knowledge about Oliver’s activities while being part of their inner team herself.

Wound: Stefanie suffers from PTSD as a result of her time in the field as military doctor, which she still struggles to come finally to terms with. She also has personal wounds from past relationships and experiences that she keeps hidden from most people.

Stefanie’s secret identity is that of a scientific book author, where she exposes the flaws in the military’s handling of PTSD and advocates for a groundbreaking approach that involves families and achieves more successful outcomes.
Jan Fantl

Member
April 28, 2023 at 4:19 pm in reply to: Lesson 11

Jan’s Creating Irony

WIL: to become more aware where I had planted situations pairing in contradiction or for humor already and put them into my forefront planning;

– Oliver, a military police officer, is granted time off only to find himself investigating a killing.

– Marie works in a tough hood in a redneck bar while spending her days with eco-warrior landscape photography.

– Oliver hasn’t had sex for quite a while only to sleep with someone first thin on arrival, who turns out to be his cousin right away;

– Oliver’s father was killed because his wife convinced him to stay responsible and to step back from a deal that would favor criminal activities.

– Oliver’s mother trusted a relative in her family and therefore had to die.

– Almost everybody in Oliver’s hometown who would be a public official to help him with his suspicion turns out to be a member of the tribe and doesn’t help.

– Homicide’s leader, Klara, refuses to see the indications for the murder. Oliver tricks her into her duties, and Klara suspects Oliver right away.

– Oliver lies to his tribe/ family while investigating them;

-Once Klara is fully convinced that it was a paid liquidation, she gets heavily injured.

-Uncle Hans is seemingly the grieving leader of the tribe and yet an antagonist to Oliver.

– Oliver is a fully committed police officer in the German army, the squad servicing together with other nations’ soldiers (ISAF) while he is troubled by the private assignments he and his soldiers have to fulfill for private companies “on behalf” of the German government.

– Granny, 100 years old, is the only one who helps Oliver with the tribe’s mysteries.

– Uncle Hans introduces his daughter Marie to Oliver, the woman he just had a one-night stand with.

– Uncle Hans mourns together with Oliver, tells him he will take care of the funeral to focus on his brother’s only and not Oliver’s mother as well.

– Oliver is forced to attend a PTSD therapy to learn that he should be spying on the therapist.

– Stefanie is assigned to be Oliver’s shrink and is forced to spy on Oliver.

– Oliver and Stephanie, both assigned to spy on each other, turn into teammates.

– Marie needs trust and a fallback in a relationship, feels Oliver will be “it,” only to meet Stefanie through him and fulfill her longings for a bisexual modern living concept.

– Oliver and Stephanie finally become a lovers in a triplet with Marie who wants them both;

– The part of the tribe who is planning and conspiring to steal as much water as possible from the public is running for public offices and asking for trust in their public activities.

– The boy who ran away when they had the car accident back then and is the one who left Oliver and his bestie alone is the one who runs for the regional office.

– Clarice, the daughter of the mighty boss of Water Mill, is the real brain master behind the international deal.

– Oliver was taken to a big family event only to be abused there as a seven year old kid;

– Marie accepted a scholarship for photography and marketing from Water Mill, the company she is investigating against together with Oliver and Stefanie.

– Marie took the pictures that Water Mill has been using for years to promote their goodwill activities for natural, potable water, while she is taking the pictures now of how miserable the water landscape looks today in the Lake district.

– Oliver who took an oath never to kill unless certain circumstances as a soldier would make it seemingly unavoidable, arrives at crossroads to decide to kill as a vigilante.
Jan Fantl

Member
April 26, 2023 at 9:40 am in reply to: Lesson 10

Jan’s Plot and Character Layers

WIL: to recognize and re-sort layers into cascades of constantly unveiling layers of realities

Plot surface

L1 Oliver arrives to assist with funeral

L 2 Something smells like foul play, did the parents die by murder?

L3 Homicide refuses to investigate

L4 Have there been members of the own tribe involved?

L5 What is the reason for the liquidation?

L 6 Is Marie trustworthy?

L 7 Did someone from own family hired killers?

L 8 Marie meet Stefanie

L 9 Have his parents been in the way of the WM-plan?

L 10 Will tribe and family steal the potable water from the public

L 11 The bad guy is not the mastermind

L 12 The meta plan of privatization of water will continue

Character Surface

L1 Oliver arrives and plans to leave after funeral

L2 Oliver starts to investigate

L 3 Oliver and Marie are cousins

L 4 Oliver and Marie find incidents that family is somehow involved

L5 Stefanie, the general and his agenda of spying;

L 6 Oliver meets the citizens he ran away from

L 7 Oliver and the deed he was blamed for and ran away

L 8 Stefanie, Marie and the ambush of love

L 9 Oliver opens about what really happened back then 31 years ago.
Jan Fantl

Member
April 19, 2023 at 11:35 pm in reply to: Lesson 9

Jan’s OPEN LOOPS in THIRST

WIL: I fine tuned my Meta arcs in questions that if I answer and structure them well will lead to an awareness how to build them in smaller pieces, spread them and create unavoidable curiosity to see my season. And S2.

In THIRST the kissing question shows up in the first episode’s 3rd or 4th act. “Oliver and Marie share an instant attraction and kiss upon their first meeting and have sex. This question is answered and out of the way. And they find each other next morning still attractive. But quickly they will find out that they didn’t know they were both Winds, from the same tribe and family, and also cousins. Oliver and Marie will shy away from each other with an inner uncertainty about what this means in terms of wrongdoing. And their inner uncertainty about their attraction intensifies and they begin to feel and worry about how the outside world will react, especially in their bourgeois and stuffy hometown, where they are surrounded by a bossy and dominant family clan.

From there we will watch them and feel the attraction, they will build a strong bond and care for each other, we want them to be together after we learned it’s legal for cousins to be a couple and it’s morally not questionable nor unethical. It’s just pressure from the outer world. Will they make it? And finally, while we root for them to be together, there will be a surprising twist: a modern 21st century relationship involving three people, not just a couple. How will this work out? Come and see Season 2.

1. They execute to be couple right away

2. …. building a relation can not be completed due to inner questions and outer pressure …

3. .. can they overcome the inner hesitance and break the outer pressure ?

THIRST : A military police officer returns home to Germany to mourn about his fathers passing, finds his mother dead too on arrival and takes on his relatives and hometown to find out about his parents liquidation.

Will Oliver resolve his parents deaths and the reason for it?

Can Marie and Oliver make it as a couple in this stuffy and toxic surrounding?

How will Oliver unveil the cobweb in town?

Will team Oliver find out what the WM-deal is?

What is going on between Oliver and his uncle Hans?

Will Oliver be murdered as well after he inherited the shipyard?

How will Oliver deal with the PTSD therapy his general obliged him to attend while home?

Will Oliver and Stefanie get caught that they don’t play to the general’s agenda, knowing that he wants them to spy on each other?

Smaller (in eps):

How will Oliver force Klara (homicide) to start to investigate?

How will Oliver deal with his heritage after the will is opened ?

How will Oliver unmask one relative after the other at town hall, bank, hospital et al?

How will Marie deal with being team Oliver and not loose her own family?

How will Marie deal with having been educated at the water mill?

How will Marie deal with her anonymus co op with the eco activists?

How will Stefanie deal with the knowledge she is spied on?

How will Stefanie deal with her being a therapist in the army while understanding her scientific approach to modernize the therapy of PTSD is not wanted, even prevented?
Jan Fantl

Member
April 19, 2023 at 9:23 pm in reply to: Lesson 8
Jan’s shocking event and over time mystery assignment

WIL: The enormous value to get to the bottom of my already existing – far away reveals and filet it into Over Time mysteries.

Nota Bene: From here on in class I have changed the war zone from Afghanistan to Mali as I wish to stay in present time and the involvement of the German army ended in 2022.

Shocking Event Mystery

After the deaths of his parents, Oliver instinctively knows that they were murdered, but nobody else seems to share his observations. Determined to unravel the mystery and find justice, he begins to piece together clues and investigates his home town and own tribe, which leads him down a dangerous and complex path.

Shocking event: Oliver’s parents die, both within 48 hours,

Secret: Oliver hides the fact that he came back to assist with the funeral and plans to leave immediately afterward. He despises his hometown and tribe deeply.

Investigation: Oliver Wind can’t resist investigating the deaths of his parents and suspects foul play, but the local authorities refuse to investigate.

What: Wind returns home to assist his mother with the funeral, but upon arrival, he discovers that she too has passed away. As he investigates, he learns more about his hometown than he previously knew.

Where: His hometown.

When: His father passed away while Oliver was in Mali, and his mother died while he was on a flight to Germany to assist her.

How: The elderly couple seemed to have died peacefully but have been murdered

in such a sophisticated manner that’s hard to detect.

Who would do such a meticulously planned liquidation and… ?

Why would somebody kill two elders preparing for their pensionists life? And why is seemingly nobody really interested to find out? Not homicide, the town hall not even the family tribe?

Over Time

Cover up:

The tribe pretends that all and everything is in best order, “things like these happen, unfortunately, couples die.” And the town does too, at first.

Oliver and Marie don’t know how to deal with their liaison as cousins surrounded by stuffy family and citizens therefore they hide it

Secret: Marie does not tell her father that she teams with Oliver to investigate his parents deaths nor later that they together sneaking into family business nor later that they’re finding more and more intel that leads to the water deal;

Hans hides his involvement in the water deal;

Oliver hides where he gets some of his information from, the notary (who liked his mother);

Stefanie hides she is growing emotions for Oliver;

Marie hides she is longing for a bi sexual experience and that of all possibilities she senses Stefanie is the right one to approach;

Marie and Stefanie conceal from Oliver their experiment;

After Stefanie opens up to Marie that “it” would become complicated because she’s longing for Oliver too, Marie suggests to forge a secret plan to experiment as a triple;

Season’s 1st third reveal: Marie’s father, Hans and the majority of his tribe blame Oliver for running away at the age of 17, believing that he caused an accident that led to the death of his former bestie. Meanwhile, Oliver’s investigation slowly uncovers his tribe’s involvement in various illegal activities, especially in a secretly woven mega deal of privatizing potable water.

Season’s half time reveal: In the midst of all this, his therapy sessions to overcome his PTSD come to a major breakthrough when Oliver reveals his darkest secret – one that he has kept hidden for 31 years.

When Oliver was a seven year old child, his parents took him to a big family event – his grandmother’s 70th birthday celebration. His father’s brother, Hans, was tasked with babysitting and watching over the younger children in the family.

Instead playing on the sidelines of this beautiful birthday party Oliver had been sexually abused by a 16 year old teen while actually Hans, Marie’s later father, didn’t pay attention. This actually caused all his running away and his “all-life-long-must-be-successful”-career in the army and as a police officer and everything he does.

Ultimate reveal : his mother wanted his father to step back from the deal selling the shipyard to the water bottling factory “Water Mill” because it would be used as a smoking mirror to steal public water from the public in huge amounts. He did and was murdered. She wanted to keep the shipyard for Oliver and caused her own death by telling it to a relative and that she would go and see the notary. Because she got an appointment a few hours earlier than planned, she dictated the new will and got murdered a little too late.
- This reply was modified 2 years ago by Jan Fantl.
Jan Fantl

Member
April 17, 2023 at 11:08 pm in reply to: Lesson 7

<div>Jan’s </div>

WIL: Focus on the big picture and extract which misfortune and moral dilemmas will create another layer of depth and therefore deepen the longing of spectators to follow and co-live every ep and every second

A. Undeserved misfortune.
Oliver’s parents are found dead, seemingly the victims of a meticulously planned killing.

B. External Character conflicts.
With Homicide refusing to investigate and his family tribe offering little help in arranging a mutual funeral, Oliver finds himself in a difficult situation. To make matters worse, the city is entangled in a web of cronyism and conspiracy, making it challenging for him to find justice and closure.

C. Plot intruding on life.
Oliver is on a mission to uncover the identity of his parents’ killer(s), and he knows that there is no turning back. Despite not planning to return, he finds himself drawn back into the city’s cobweb of corruption. In order to clean up the mess and achieve his goals, he may have to resort to unscrupulous methods, such as selling out the people’s right to potable water. (a task previously assigned to Hercules)

D. Moral dilemmas. Oliver has endured nightmarish experiences of war, having both witnessed and committed killings in service to his country. Now, as he plans to take matters into his own hands and kill without permission, he will become a vigilante. However, there is a complication: the possibility that he may have to take the life of someone from Marie’s tribe – the very woman he is growing more and more deeply in love with.

E. Forced decisions they’d never make. Although he has learned the reason for the threat against his life, Oliver remains unaware of the identity of his would-be assassin. In order to survive, he is compelled to kill, despite the fact that it falls outside the realm of his professional expertise.
Jan Fantl

Member
April 17, 2023 at 10:08 pm in reply to: Lesson 6

Jan’s Show Relationship Map

WIL: My maps allow me to jump from chair to chair and explore common mutual interest, links or conflicts from different POV’s and therefore a permanent reminder where the energy flows

OLIVER and Marie

Surface : Teammates

Common Ground: Family

Conflict: involvement of their family in conspiracies

History: Relatives

Subtext: 1 + 1 is more than 2

Relationship Arc: from unknown to lovers

OLIVER and Stefanie

Surface : Army, Client – Doc

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Common Ground: War

Conflict: PTSD

History: experience of war and terrorist attacks

Subtext: Unexpressed thirst for love

Relationship Arc: from unknown to lovers

MARIE and Oliver

Surface : Teammates

Common Ground: Family

Conflict: involvement in the antagonist company and in his opponents too

History: Relatives

Subtext: longing for unconditional trust

Relationship Arc: from unknown to lovers

MARIE and Stefanie

Surface : Oliver’s shrink

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Common Ground: Oliver’s wellbeing

Conflict: Competitors

History: from same state

Subtext:coming out longing for bi sexual life

Relationship Arc: from unknown to lovers

STEFANIE and Oliver

Surface : Army, Client – Doc

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Common Ground: curiosity

Conflict: Trust

History: Army, war experiences

Subtext: Disappointment

Relationship Arc: from unknown to lovers

STEFANIE and Marie

Surface : Teammates

Common Ground: homeland

Conflict: Competitors

History: from same state

Subtext: unknown longing for bi sexual life

Relationship Arc: from unknown to lovers
Jan Fantl

Member
April 5, 2023 at 1:30 am in reply to: Lesson 3

Jan’s Engaging Main Characters

What I learned doing this assignment is…to create characters with a focus on what makes them engaging and selling characters connecting with the audience for a long period of story time. In doing so I needed to write in – very – long form to dive into my own idea

The journey of THIRST

“THIRST” is a fast-paced, action-packed streamer series set in Cottbus and the lake district Spreewald in Germany. The story centers around Oliver Wind, an active military police officer allowed to return to his hometown to assist with his father’s funeral. However, when he arrives, he learns that his mother has also passed away under suspicious circumstances. Determined to uncover the truth, Oliver takes on the case, believing his parents’ deaths were actually liquidations. As he investigates, Oliver discovers that his family is more connected to the city’s political and industrial cobweb than he realized, and is sucked into the networks of corruption, conspiracy and injustice. Forced to investigate a series of connected crimes, partially among his own relatives, including a high-profile murder and a possible conspiracy involving a powerful corporation, he has to fight for justice in his own former hometown while an unconventional romance develops.

Oliver Wind

A. Role in the show: Hero

B. What is Oliver’s purpose ?

Oliver’s unique purpose in this show is to uncover the truth behind his parent’s death and to seek justice for them. As a military police officer, Oliver has a strong sense of duty and a keen eye for detail, which makes him a valuable asset in solving the conspiracy. He is determined to get to the bottom of what happened to the father and little later to his mother and will stop at nothing to find out the truth, even if it means going up against powerful and dangerous people. Throughout the series, Oliver’s relentless pursuit of justice drives the plot forward and keeps the audience engaged.

C. What is hidden under the surface?

Oliver has a troubled past that he keeps hidden from those around him. He has seen and experienced things during his time in the military that have left deep scars on him, both physically and emotionally. Oliver struggles with the guilt of being a survivor and often has flashbacks of the events that led to his PTSD and he doesn’t want to be perceived as weak or incapable of doing his job.

D. What moral boundaries is Oliver crossing?

Oliver investigates the mysterious circumstances. He is a military police officer, and his duty is to serve his country and follow the law. However, in his quest for the truth, he starts to bend the rules and even breaks them. He starts to use his position and resources to investigate the case, even though it is outside his jurisdiction. He also uses his military training to intimidate and coerce people to give him information. Moreover, Oliver is also dealing with his guilt and grief over not being there for his mother during her last moments. He feels that he has failed his mother, which also puts him in a position where he is risking his career and reputation. He is not only breaking the law but also going against his commanding officers, who are trying to keep him out of the case.

Oliver’s actions may be seen as morally questionable, as he is crossing the line to get to the truth. However, his intentions are noble, as he is seeking justice for his parents and later the rights of many for potable water and wants to bring the responsible parties to account for their actions.

E. What will Oliver do next?

Oliver will go to great lengths to uncover the truth. The combination of his military background in investigation, interrogation and willingness to use his physical skills and weapons make him unpredictable. He is not afraid to protect himself and others when smart talking is not enough. His unwillingness, different to civil investigators, lawyers or downhill officials, to play by the book in addition with his personal emotional attachment to the case causes him to act outside of standard protocol, making it difficult for others to predict his next move.

F. Why do we care?

Oliver is a-bit-larger-than-life character with a strong moral code, a fierce sense of justice, and great physical and mental abilities. He has experienced great loss and trauma in his life. He is driven by a deep sense of duty and loyalty to his family and country, and we can empathize with his struggles to balance these conflicting priorities. As he investigates, Oliver discovers that his family is more connected to the city’s political and industrial network than he realized. As he delves deeper into the conspiracy behind his parents deaths he uncovers a powerful corporation that is privatizing potable water in the country, preparing for a new mega business. Despite his flaws, we root for Oliver because we see his genuine desire to uncover the truth and bring those responsible to justice, and we empathize with his pain and struggles along the way.

Marie WIND

A. Role in the story: Sidekick, love interest, conflict generator.

Marie Wind, a young bartender in her mid-20s, works at a whole in the wall in Cottbus, a town in the former German Democratic Republic. Despite her challenging work environment, Marie is an independent and strong-willed woman who is determined to pursue her passion for landscape photography. She spends her days capturing the destruction caused by drought and industrial crime in her homeland. Together with the local eco-activists she causes constant trouble by going viral with her pictures. She provide a fresh perspective and insight into the local community and its issues

B. Stefanie serves multiple purposes in the story

Love Interest: Stefanie is initially drawn to Oliver’s charisma and strength, and their relationship starts off as a physical attraction and a romantic relationship. As the story progresses, their bond deepens into, adding an emotional dimension to Oliver’s character and providing motivation for him to unravel the mystery surrounding his parents’ deaths. Same time the question arise if they are allowed to stay in a romantic relationship once they learn that they are cousins, in a small town society like theirs. And that’s just before a way more dramatic situation occurs.

Sidekick: Stefanie becomes Oliver’s ally and sidekick in his investigation. She provides support, both emotionally and intellectually, as they work together to uncover the truth behind the water conspiracy. Stefanie challenges Oliver’s thinking and helps him see things from a different perspective, which aids him in his pursuit of justice.

Familial Connection: Stefanie’s surprising revelation that she is Oliver’s cousin adds a unique twist to their relationship. It creates a personal stake for Stefanie in helping Oliver uncover the truth about his parents’ deaths and the water conspiracy. It also adds an additional layer of complexity to their relationship as they navigate their newfound family connection while working together as partners.

Conflict Generator: Stefanie’s father, an influential small-town networker, is revealed to be involved in the conspiracy, creating conflict and tension between Stefanie and Oliver. This adds drama to the story and complicates their investigation as they must navigate their personal relationship while confronting Stefanie’s father’s involvement in the conspiracy.

C. Intrigue: What is secret beneath the surface?

Marie Wind’s dark hidden secret is that she is actually the daughter of a wealthy businessman and political networker who got her a job and education as a commercial photographer in the water mill. when she left school. Marie is partially responsible for the beautiful yet misleading pictures that have been used over years to make the water mill so powerful and led to the industrial and environmental destruction around the city and the lake district . She keeps this secret hidden as she grapples with her loyalty to her father, her night job identity, the loyalty to the eco-activists and her growing awareness of the harm she has caused to the community and environment. This internal conflict adds depth and complexity to her character as she navigates her role as Oliver’s sidekick and love interest while working to solve the murder and water conspiracy in the town.

D. Compromising her own safety and well-being in pursuit of justice and exposing the truth about the destruction of her homeland and the water conspiracy. She takes risks and cross moral boundaries, such as breaking laws or endangering herself to hold those responsible accountable. Her determination to make a difference yet having a romantic affair with cousin may lead her to make difficult choices along the way.

E. Unpredictable: What will Marie do next?

Marie, night life bartender, driven by her passion for photography, takes bold and sometimes reckless actions to capture the truth about the destruction of her homeland. On the other hand she is hiding behind an alias. She is willing to cross moral boundaries and take risks in order to expose the water conspiracy and solve the murder mystery together with Oliver. Yet she is part of exactly this family and seeks to stay the heiress she is promised. Her unpredictable nature and impulsive decisions add intrigue and suspense to the story, keeping viewers on their toes as they wonder what Marie will do next. Like falling in love with a woman?

E. Why do we care?

Overall, Stefanie’s character serves as a multifaceted figure in the story, providing support, motivation, conflict, and emotional depth to the plot and to Oliver’s character arc. Her role as a love interest, sidekick, and familial connection adds layers of complexity to the story and drives the plot forward. She is a strong and independent character yet with a layer to be dishonest with herself and others, who complements Oliver’s character and they help each other in their pursuit of justice. Additionally, her relationship with Oliver adds depth and emotion to the story, making it not just about action and investigation, but also about personal connections and human emotions and therefore engaging and compelling for the audience.

Stefanie Müller, Dr.

A.Role in the story: Guardian

B. Unique Purpose / Expertise. Dr. Stefanie Müller is a PTSD specialized therapist who is assigned to work with Oliver, the protagonist, at the behest of his commanding officer. She is patient and understanding, creating a safe space for Oliver to open up about the traumatic experiences he has witnessed and the moral conflicts he has faced in the military, uncovering his involvement in dishonest operations and finally his reasons for leaving his hometown early. She serves as a compelling character with story arcs throughout the show. She becomes Oliver’s guardian and plays a crucial role in his emotional journey, unraveling the mystery of the murder and water conspiracy.

C. What is secret beneath the surface? Stefanie Müller’s secret beneath the surface is that she herself has a personal connection to the water conspiracy and maybe even to the mysterious murder in Cottbus. She has information or even involvement that she is keeping hidden from Oliver and others, adding an element of intrigue and mystery to her character. This secret will create internal conflict for her as she navigates her role as a therapist while also being personally connected to the events unfolding in the story. Her hidden past and motivations may gradually come to light as the story progresses, adding complexity to her character arc.

D. What moral boundaries is she crossing? As a PTSD therapist, Stefanie will cross moral boundaries by delving deep into Oliver’s traumatic experiences and potentially uncovering sensitive information about his past and the operations he has been involved in. Her pursuit of the truth and her determination to help Oliver may lead her to make choices that challenge traditional ethical guidelines for therapists. And how will she navigate her growing romantic feelings for Oliver, considering her professional role and the ethical boundaries it entails?

E. What will she do next? As Stefanie Müller falls in love with Oliver, her patient, she finds herself torn between her personal feelings and her professional boundaries as a therapist. Her choices and decisions may have unexpected consequences as she navigates the complexities of her relationship with Oliver while also dealing with her own inner conflicts. Even more drama arises when Marie finds Stefanie attractive, and finally together with Oliver’s the relationship takes an unexpected turn as they develop strong, positive feelings for each other. Stefanie decides to allow herself to build an inclusive, open-minded, and honest relationship as a modern 21st-century triple, defying societal norms and expectations. Their story arc explores themes of love, acceptance, and individuality, adding a fresh and contemporary element. Despite the obstacles they encounter, Stefanie, Marie, and Oliver remain true to themselves and their love for each other, defying societal norms and expectations, and showcasing the power of love, understanding, and inclusivity in a modern world.

F. Why do we care?

We care about Stefanie because she is a skilled and empathetic PTSD specialized therapist who helps Oliver confront his past trauma and open up about his experiences. Her involvement in the water conspiracy adds an additional layer of intrigue and complexity to her character, making her a key player in the unfolding mystery that keeps the audience interested in her character and invested in her story. She also forms a deep and genuine connection with both Oliver and Marie, creating a unique and poly-inclusive relationship dynamic that challenges traditional norms, which makes us care about her wanting to see how her story unfolds in the larger narrative.
Jan Fantl

Member
April 1, 2023 at 10:16 am in reply to: Lesson 2

2. Three Circles of Character in THIRST – my serie

Lead characters

Oliver Wind, is far away in Afghanistan serving as a military police officer, granted to fly home to Germany to see his mother and help her with the funeral of his father, only to find out that both parents have passed on arrival. In a suspicious way.

Marie Wind, bartender in a rough red neck bar, during daytime self educating herself as a photographer of landscape, turns out to be Olivers cousin, will become his sidekick to find out about his parents liquidation.

Dr. Stefanie Müller, a PTSD specialized therapist, where Oliver, ordered by his commanding officer, shows up and slowly leads Oliver from opening about the blood and death he sees on a daily base to his digest of dishonest operations he has been ordered to and finally why he left hometown so early.

Petra Ketzer, leader of homicide squat in Cottbus, is opposing Oliver’s suspicion of foul play in his parents death as murder and dislikes him for tricking her superiors that she has to start investigation.

Connecting / Returning
Dr. Paul, the notary not only to open the will of Oliver’s mum but giving hints and guiding Oliver to what all happened with the will the last days before his fathers passing and the one day before his mother died. He is part of the cities inner circle yet not of the ongoing conspiracies

Hans Wind, uncle of Oliver and Marie’s father. self declared leader of the Wind tribe, part of the cities honorees circle

Johann -Feuer, CEO of the water mill conglomerate

Clarice Feuer, his highly talented daughter, member of the c-lvel management of the water mill

Steve Ligt, buddy soldier in the US Army, Drone pilot screening Europe and Germany by Satellite

Pavel Horky, buddy soldier in the CZ army

Generalmajor Luft, Commanding officer in the HQ of military police in Germany

Officer de liaison – between ministers of defense and government

Siggi, Journeyman and fathers wingman in Shipyard

Environment /One liners

Mortican

Buddy soldiers in the military police in Germany;

Relatives & Distant relatives in hometown

Buddies & soldiers on post in Afghanistan

Enemies in the field / Afghanistan IS

Red necks and right wingers

Servants in public authorities in hometown

Neighbors to shipyard

Lower and higher Water authority

Water mill engineers close to borders CZ/PL

Chemical workers

Border patrol
Jan Fantl

Member
March 31, 2023 at 10:24 am in reply to: Lesson 2
What I learned doing this assignment is to analyze and sort characters in the series Supergirl ep 2

Three Circles of Characters

Main: Kara/ Assistant – Kara/ heroine

Alex Denver’s – sister/ DEO

Winn – buddy

James – guardian/ romance ?

Connecting: Hank Henshaw DEO / ?

Kat Grant

EL Loura/Mother/ judge/ hologram

Aunt/ general Astra

Environment: Bad guy from jailship/ helgramit

Bad guys from jailship

Doctors and soldiers DEO

Journalists at CatCo
- This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by Jan Fantl.
Jan Fantl

Member
March 28, 2023 at 11:41 pm in reply to: Lesson 1

What I learned doing this assignment is to dig into sorting the 5 * elements from the pilot of Super Girl.

Super Girl

the older but now on planet earth younger cousin ,Kara, of Superman turns into the female protector of the world while all the bad asses of the universe heading to take revenge that Super Girl’s mother sentenced them to an eternal jail.

Kara is calling herself to action while we watch how she needs to refine her superpowers. Will she have them at hand sometimes soon and in time to succeed with her mission?

We are intrigued watching Kara in the field of friction between being the not-so-appreciated underling-assistant of the self declared most powerful media-bitch in town, while being herself the most powerful woman and protector of the planet world.

Will her Aunt find a way to destroy Kara before she refines all her superpowers that she will need to protect the city and herself from all the bad guys of the universe?

How will Kara manage to be the protecting heroine of the city, form a team with her cousine and protect her best buddy, develop a romance with the guy who speaks personally with her super brother and stay uncovered by her boss as well as survive all the assassinations ordered by her aunt?

And will she protect superman which was her first assignment and she promised lightyears ago to do so while finally protect world in her own way?
Jan Fantl

Member
March 27, 2023 at 8:13 pm in reply to: Confidentiality Agreement

Jan Fantl

I agree to the terms of this release form.
Jan Fantl

Member
March 27, 2023 at 8:09 pm in reply to: Introduce Yourself to the Group

Hi, Jan Fantl here, I currently reside in Berlin and Prague, right in the heart of Europe. I have a background in television episode writing, having produced several successful TV shows. Although I have not yet written a produced theatrical script, I have experience in directing for German TV, which eventually led me to producing. I worked in LA for a ten years as a film funds manager and producer, and after 52 theatrical movies and several decades in the industry, I am ready to return forward to a new challenge.

Having advised countless writers on their scripts, I have decided to take on the challenge and experience to develop my own “stuff”, perhaps even taking an action-thriller drama to the midst of Europe. As the industry moves towards binge-watching, I believe that my experience and knowledge will help me create an engaging and successful story.

I am excited to hone my skills and learn new techniques by joining this boot camp. I am ready to work hard, experience both pain and joy, and collaborate with you fellow writers to produce exceptional content.
Jan Fantl

Member
September 8, 2022 at 8:09 pm in reply to: Day 14 Assignments

Jan’s -missing this class 14

due to full time attention to real life biz I worked in my 14 into the 15. J
Jan Fantl

Member
September 8, 2022 at 8:07 pm in reply to: Day 15 Assignments

Jan’s Fast Formatting

My apologies, the real life biz needed all my attention and energy, therefore I have melted my 14 and 15 into one homework.

WIL?: to melt the course classes into one scene and (hopefully) into my toolbox. PLUS: I believe if I got it and worked it out well then the scene will be self explaining.

EXT. BUS STOP – DAY

Near her new apartment, outskirts. KITTY walks, mobile rings. Display “Paul”.

KITTY

Hey, good morning

PAUL

(O.S.)

Hey. I have prepared some stuff we should tick off your bucket list today.

KITTY

As in… which bucket list?

PAUL

E.g. Residential office, bank, local account, credit card, local sim card, your IT connection. This bucket.

KITTY

Makes sense. When?

PAUL

Like now? Shall I pick you up?

KITTY

Can we meet in town, bit later? I want to sniff into my district.

PAUL

Let’s do 11 then, I`ll text you a location.

KITTY

Sure, talk then.

Kitty arrives at a bus stop, she compares the timetable with her phone.

An open Jeep stops, SYLVIE (26ish local) looks at Kitty

SYLVIE

Newbie in town?

KITTY

Is that so visible?

SYLVIE

Checking a timetable? Yes. Wanna come with, down town?

Kitty walks around, hops in. Off they go.

INT.EXT. JEEP – DAY

SYLVIE drives the open Jeep down a curvy outskirt road, Valetta and the sea downhill already visible.

KITTY

You speak totally without accent

SYLVIE

We all do …

She points over her shoulder

SYLVIE

It’s the Canadian University on Malta.

KITTY

No shit, Canada runs a U here? Cool

SOUND SCENE OVER GIRLS TALKING IN JEEP

GOON BIKER

(O.S.)

I guess we have her back on the radar.

DARK

(O.S.)

Copy that. Are you sure?

GOON BIKER

(O.S.)

50-50 chance. We’re one click away and she wears different apparel and long sleeve.

DARK

(O.S.)

Check it, get her, no injuries. Copy.

CUT TO:

SUSPENSE A triangle of five bikes, goons in leather jackets and helmets.

GOON BIKER

Copy that, sir.

Bikes speeds up into camera and out of frame.

BACK TO:

Kitty checks the traffic regularly behind them

SYLVIE

(smirks)

…and our faculty is only one year old. We’re kind of the guinea pigs here, but it’s brand new though. And the internet is a blaze.

KITTY

So you guys are why I move up here, my apt uses your signal.

SYLVIE

What are you here for?

DANGER : Kitty registers five e-motobikes following, yet nothing weird

KITTY

I am starting at the Queens and Kings. As a white hat.

SYLVIE

No shit. As resident white hat on Malta? How cool is that?

Sylvie unlocks her mobile with eyelock and hands it to Kitty

SYLVIE

I study IT biz management. Type in your number and I’ll text you, the IT gang up here is actually pretty cool.

KITTY

Sure, thank you. I hope I’ll be for a while

While she types Kitty checks the mirror again, her mood changes

KITTY

Not sure yet. Take the next left, slow down then and then speed and get away

SYLVIE

What?

Kitty checks the area

KITTY

Please do. We re followed, don’t turn around check your mirrors. See the motos?

SYLVIE

Yes

KITTY

Ok, speed up, see the bushes, take a left there.

EXCITEMENT: Sylvie checks on Kitty, she is serious. She hits the pedal and the Jeep jumps forward.

CUT TO

DANGER: The goons on the e-driven bikes react and increase the speed easily.

CUT BACK

EXT. CORNER MAIN ROAD / SIDE STREET – DAY

The Jeep takes down the road and turns a sharp left. Sylvie hits the brakes and ….

ADRENALINE:… Kitty jumps out and rolls away before the Jeep stops

PLAN: Kitty waves Sylvie to speed it and covers.

DANGER: The bikes turn around the corner and chase behind the Jeep when…

EXCITEMENT:… Kitty jumps out of from her cover and knocks the last goon off his bike.

The other four bikes are in pursuit of the Jeep.

Kitty hits the helmet of the goon 5 two three times against the tarmac making sure he is unconscious. She picks up the bike hops on and turns into the other direction.

DILEMMA: Kitty looks back

INTERCUT

Sylvie, the Jeep and the four bikes in pursuit.

CUT BACK

NEW PLAN/ DECISION: Kitty donuts the bike, hops off. She takes the helmet and biker jacket of goon 5 and take them on. She hits him unconscious again.

TWIST: Kitty jumps on the bike and follows the goons.

DANGER: The four bikes become five again, chase …. and stop the Jeep. Kitty stops alone on the other side of the Jeep, HUMOR: tries to hide her cut off jeans and naked legs.

GOON BIKER

Where is the other lady?

KITTY

I don’t know. She got off at her final destination, back there at the corner

GOON BIKER

Heck, back guys

He makes the biker sign for a 180°turnaround and off they speed, from where they came.

EXCITEMENT: – Kitty takes a bit more time to turn, gives Sylvie …

STACKING DIALOGUE: (mute) … a thumbs up, only now

RELIEF: … Sylvie realizes who is behind the helmet visor and grins, makes a call me sign.

– Kitty follows the other bikes

Twist: – Kitty drives behind the four bikes, the street forms a fork and Kitty takes the other road.

EXT. MAIN ROAD – SIDE STREET – DAY

NEW SITUATION: The Goons arrive at the corner and find Goon 5 unconscious on the boardwalk. And no bike.

GOON BIKER

We were five at the Jeep? Right?

Goon biker 2 and 3 look at each other, nod

GOON BIKER

She‘s playin us, god dammit. Back.

DANGER: Chase.

PLAN FAILS Kitty realizes the goons are back in pursuit

EXT. HIGH SEASON’S GROWTH FIELD – DAY

NEW SITUATION: she drives off the road into high season’s growth.

ADRENALINE: Kitty sees a cute little baby bunny ducked in the growth, looking at her in pain approaching….

DECISION … Kitty hits a break and swings around the baby bunny on the front wheel. She sees four helmets in the growth, none is directly in line behind her. Kitty ducks.

– The bikes shoot by, none stops

NEW PLAN – Kitty takes a 90° turn and drives away, ducked and mid speed

– No Kitty ahead. Goon 2 stands on his bike and sees Kitty in a different direction. He signals Goon Biker, they change direction.

PLAN FAILS – Kitty realizes goons are back in pursuit and pulls the throttle.

CHASE

– Kitty sees that the field ends and a natural wall of rocks is in her way, …

NEW PLAN … she uses three rocks as a ramp and

EXCITEMENT:…jumps high over the wall of rocks, only …

EXT. BEACH HANGOUT – DAY

SHOCK/ ADRENALINE: …to see the beach is two floors lower than where she jumped off… and

SURPRISE: (POV Kitty) …

KITTY

OMG! Shit

there is a bunch of people down there

– she flies with the bike and lands on sand …

EXT. BEACH HANGOUT – DAY

…and into a beach club, jammed with party people.

EXCITEMENT: – Goon 3 lands unfortunate, his chase is over. DANGER: Goon Biker, Goon 2 and Goon 4 make it and follow Kitty through the beach club

– Kitty speeds through people jumping out of her way …

… on a dance floor,

– BAAM Goon Biker makes a waiter with tablet go flying.

– Kitty ducks and sideways her bike, slides underneath a volleyball net

KITTY

(not that she’d like it)

Aaaahhhhh, jeez

– Goon 4 is too close, he stays on the beach volleyball field. And the net with him.

– Kitty speeds out of the club and around a corner.

EXT. BAY WITH MUDDY GROUNDS – DAY

ADRENALINE: Into the sea, speeding with a gist of water behind her.

TWIST: – all of the sudden the bike slows down more and more

KITTY

(muffled)

What the heck?

NEW SITUATION: – Kitty checks the bike, seems ok … She realizes she is driving on a weird kind of mud … She throttles the gas down and the bike takes back grip but refuses to gain speed. Kitty has to drive slow.

EXCITEMENT: Kitty turns, the goons have to drive slow as well. Cool.

TWIST/ DANGER: A chopper shows up, a goon roping down from the bird.

Antagonist new plan :The goon on the rope sinks towards Kitty’s level…..goon grabs Kitty from behind.

GOON ON ROPE

Let’s go honey, that’s it.

ADRENALINE: – Kitty manages to keep her balance into a stand up position and her feet under the handlebars, the goon can’t lift her and the bike.

KITTY

Really? too big for you.

ADRENALINE: Kitty finds her stand sideways on the bike, controlling the throttle with one foot to keep it moving and fighting the goon with one foot and her hands.

DANGER: – Kitty is running out of time, she has crossed the bay almost.

KITTY

Times up.

A’s PLAN FAILS EXCITEMENT: Kitty ducks and the goon tries to follow when Kitty jumps and finishes him with a roundhouse kick in the air while turns and flips back into her drivers position.

NEW SITUATION: – Kitty gets out of the muds and speeds again, the goons still in the mud.

NEW PLAN – Kitty reaches a road

– Where to go?

– Kitty takes the direction that leads into an ancient village.

DANGER: – The goons balance out of the mud, throttle up and speed behind her…

EXT. OLD VILLAGE – DAY

EXCITEMENT: … and all into an old village,

– through a small bazar

– narrow and curvy streets

– stairs down and…..

… Goon 2 signals Goon Biker to take a different route and follows Kitty up the ancient stair,

– Kitty jumps out of the stairs and goon 2 speeds to jump too at the end of the stair and ….

… BAAM crashes into the side of a delivery car .

EXT. PIAZZA WITH BALCONY OVER THE SEA – DAY

EXCITEMENT: – Kitty speeds around a corner onto a Piazza with a large terrace balcony over the sea.

SURPRISE: – From the only other street across the place comes a huge delivery truck and cuts her off all her alternatives. The truck rolls towards the terrace,

DANGER: – Kitty is too fast, there is no way out, they gonna collide …

ADRENALINE: … Kitty takes the bike onto the side and glides underneath the truck …

SUSPENSE/ FEAR…Kitty rolls away from the bike and she is still too fast

… the bike glides and shrieks on the cobblestones like on ice

– Goon Biker arrives just in time, manages to stop and to see …

…how the bike crashes through the balustrade and goes flying into high air …

SUSPENSE … while Kitty is rolling still too fast sideways into a store and out of sight.

– Goon Biker drives to the place where the bike broke through, looks down. The sea and nothing but the bike sinking.

NEW SITUATION: And no Kitty, she s gone.

GOON BIKER

Holy shit. (taps helmet mike) Boss, sir?

INT. SHOP BEACH ACCESSORIES – DAY

RELIEF – Lucky Kitty stranded in a store for beach accessories and rests within a pile of inflatable rubber ducks, unicorns, dolphins and swans. She takes the helmet off, checks her bare legs, arms and hands. Kitty sees the lizard pulses excited.

SOMETHING NEW REVEALS (Trust) Kitty fumbles her mobile out of her pocket, checks

– screen is broken

– Kitty tries to press something. YES! it rings.

PAUL

(O.S. through mobile)

That was quick.

KITTY

Yes. – Yes, please do pick me up.

PAUL

Sure. Where?

KITTY

(caught on the wrong foot)

Em, on the floor of a .. a, I’ll text you the location.

PAUL

Ok.

KITTY

And I need a new phone

But Paul already bung up on her.

Kitty checks her iwatch – 51 hours and 11 minutes left – running backwards.

Kitty looks at the lizard and allows herself to sink back onto the unicorn.
Jan Fantl

Member
August 31, 2022 at 10:57 pm in reply to: Day 12 Assignments

Jan’s Level 3 Action Emotions

WIL ?: To structure action into a mix of different conditions where Danger, Excitement and as a result Adrenaline constantly change and therefore creating non dull Action entertainment.

Log: Kitty wants to go to town what becomes a white knuckle pursuit

Scene Outline: Kitty is waiting at a bus station on the outskirts of Valetta when an open jeep stops by and Sylvie a young student offers her to take her with to town. When chatting Kitty realizes five e-trial-bikes closing in to chase them. They are small yet very fast. Kitty asks Sylvie to speed around the corner, slow and speed again, and get lost.

Behind the corner Kitty jumps off the jeep and hides, the goons follow the Jeep, Kitty makes the last bike turn over, she hits the driver unconscious. Kitty puts on his jacket and helmet and follow the goons.

After the goons realize that Kitty is not in the jeep they turn around , Kitty gives Sylvie a thumbs up and follows them only to take a different route on th enext fork. Goons find their unconscious guy and turn again for the fish bike.

A wild chase ensues through fields of high season’s growth, a jumps, through a beach front club, volley ball fields into a muddy bay fighting with a goon dangling from a chopper, narrow and steep village street, up and down stairs and finally into an unsolvable situation where Kitty is too fast to avoid a collision.

EXT. BUS STOP – DAY

SETUP Near her new apartment, outskirts. KITTY waits by a bus stop, compares the timetable with her phone.

An open Jeep stops, SYLVIE (26ish local) looks at Kitty

SYLVIE

Newbie in town?

KITTY

Is that so visible?

SYLVIE

Checking timetables? Yes. Wanna come with, down town?

Kitty walks around, hops in. Off they go.

INT.EXT. JEEP – DAY

SYLVIE drives the open Jeep over outskirts roads, Valetta and the sea downhill already visible.

KITTY

You speak totally without accent

SYLVIE

We all do

She points over her shoulder

SYLVIE

It’s the Canadian University on Malta.

KITTY

No shit, Canada runs a U here? Cool

Kitty checks the traffic regularly behind them

SYLVIE

(smirks)

Yep, only three years old. We’re kind of guinea pigs, but it’s brand new though. And the internet is a blaze.

KITTY

So you guys are why I move up here, my apt uses your signal.

SYLVIE

What are you here for?

DANGER : Kitty registers five e-motobikes closing in, yet nothing weird

KITTY

I am starting at the Queens and Kings. I am a white hat.

SYLVIE

As resident white hat on Malta? How cool is that?

Kitty changes mood

KITTY

Not sure yet. Take the next left, slow down then and then speed and get away

SYLVIE

What?

KITTY

Please do. We re followed, don’t turn around check your mirrors. See the motos?

SYLVIE

Yes

KITTY

Ok, speed up, then left.

EXCITEMENT: Sylvie checks on Kitty, she is serious. She hits the pedal and the Jeep jumps forward.

INTERCUT

DANGER: The goons on the e-driven bikes react and increase the speed easily.

CUT BACK

The Jeep takes down the road and turns a sharp left. Sylvie hits the brakes and ….

ADRENALINE:… Kitty jumps out and rolls away before the Jeep stops

Kitty waves Sylvie to speed it and covers.

DANGER: The bikes come around the corner and chase behind the Jeep when…

EXCITEMENT:… Kitty jumps out of from her cover and knocks the last goon off his bike.

The other four bikes are in pursuit of the Jeep.

Kitty hits the helmet of the goon two three times against the tarmac making sure he’s unconscious. She take the helmet off and his biker jacket and take them on. She picks up the bike from the street, jumps on it and follows the others.

DANGER: The four bikes become five again and stop the Jeep. Kitty stops on the other side of the Jeep, tries to hide her cut off jeans and naked legs.

GOON BIKER

Where is the other lady?

KITTY

I don’t know. She got off at her final destination, back there at the corner

GOON BIKER

Heck, back guys

He makes the biker sign for turnaround and off they speed, from where they came.

EXCITEMENT: Kitty takes a bit more time to turn, gives Sylvie a thumbs up, only now Sylvie realizes who is behind the helmet visor and grins, makes a call me sign. Kitty follows the other bikes

Kitty drives behind the four bikes, the street forms a fork and Kitty takes the other road.

The Goons arrive at the corner and find Goon 5 unconscious on the boardwalk. And no bike.

GOON BIKER

We were five at the Jeep? Right?

Goon biker 2 and 3 look at each other, nod

GOON BIKER

She‘s playin us, God dammit. Back.

DANGER: Chase,

Kitty realizes the goons are back in pursuit she drives off the road into

ADRENALINE: …high season’s growth. Chase

Kitty sees that the field ends and a natural wall of rocks is in her way, …

EXCITEMENT:… she uses three rocks as a ramp and jumps high over the wall of rocks, only …

ADRENALINE: …to see the beach is two floors lower than were she jumped of, she flies with the bike and lands on sand …

… in a beach club, jammed with party people.

EXCITEMENT: Goon 2 lands unfortunate, his chase is over. Goon Biker, Goon 2 and Goon 4 make it and follow Kitty through the beach club

Kitty speeds through people jumping out of her way, a dance floor, Goon Biker makes a waiter with tablet go flying.

Kitty ducks and sideways her bike, makes it under a volleyball net, Goon 4 is too close, he stays on the beach volleyball field.

Kitty speeds out of the club and around a corner through the sea, speeding with a gist of water behind her.

ADRENALINE: Suddenly the bike slows down more and more, Kitty checks the bike seems ok. She realizes she is driving on a weird kind of mud. She throttles the gas down and the bike takes up speed but refuses to speed again. Kitty has to drive slow.

EXCITEMENT: Kitty turns, the goons have to drive slow as well. Cool.

DANGER: A chopper shows up, a goon roping down from the bird.

The goon on the rope sinks towards Kitty and tries to grab her.

ADRENALINE: Kitty jumps into a stand up position to be able to fight back, Kitty stands sideways on the bike, controlling the throttle with one foot, to keep it moving and fighting the goon with her hands.

DANGER: Kitty is running out of time, she has almost crossed the bay.

EXCITEMENT: She ducks and the goon tries to follow when Kitty jumps and finishes him with a roundhouse kick in mid air while turn and flip back into her drivers position.

Kitty gets out of the mud and speeds again, the goons still in the mud.

Kitty reaches a road that leads into an ancient village.

DANGER: The goons out of the mud racing behind her…

EXCITEMENT: … and all into an old village, through small, narrow and curvy streets,

…into a bazar, stairs down und up.

DANGER: Kitty speeds around a corner and on a Piazza with a large terrace over the sea. From the only other street across the place comes a huge delivery truck and cuts off all her alternatives. The truck rolls towards the terrace, Kitty is too fast, there is no way out, they gonna collide ….

ADRENALINE: … Kitty takes the bike onto the side and glides underneath the truck …

…Kitty rolls away from the bike and she is still too fast

… the bike glides on the cobblestones like on ice

The goons manage to stop and arrive just in time to see …

…how the bike breaks through the balustrade and goes flying into the sea….

… while Kitty is rolling sideways into a store and out of sight.

Goon Biker drives to the place where the bike broke through, looks down. The sea and nothing else.

GOON BIKER

Holy shit.

EXCITEMENT: No Kitty, she s gone.

RELIEF Lucky Kitty stranded in a store for beach accessories and rest within a pile of inflatable rubber ducks, unicorns and swans. She takes the helmet and the jacket off, looks at her legs and hands and sees the lizard pulses excited.
Jan Fantl

Member
August 30, 2022 at 9:25 pm in reply to: Day 11 Assignments

Jan’s Level 2 Action Emotions

WIL ?: To take my initially thought out scene and turn and twist it to see where I can add surprise , shock and suspense.

Log: Kitty is surprisingly released from prison, leaving the station Petrus is wounded by a sniper and in the ambulance it’s not clear if she’ll make it. Petrus hands Kitty a part of the solution

„Stay in the question“ and touches her with her question mark tattoo.

Scene Outline :

Surprise : Commissaire Lusar leads Paul and Petrus towards the exit of the police station, they assisting Kitty to walk, she is still not at her full capacity after what happened in the prison cell. Kitty is surprised that she has not to stay the night, is it because Petrus confessed having created the panic and had drugged her? Lusar doesn’t not fully confirm, it is because her ex Chief of UNRA in Prague told him about her. And these two elements make way more sense than the many information he is receiving about her, probably from fake accounts. She should stay in her new apartment and do what ever she is doing on her computer for her new company. And with that they split ways outside the station. Lusar wants finally a calm evening with wife and kids.

Shock: Petrus and Paul lead Kitty towards Paul’s car when a voice shouts „Commisaire Lusar“; Lusar turns and a shot plops not very loud „Watch, what you just did“. Petrus shrieks and falls to the ground. Paul hides and Kitty with educated reflexes tries to check where the sniper is on the roofs around her. Lusar comes running, cell in his hand, checking if more shots are an option and demands an ambulance to the station, it’s an extreme urgency

Suspense: In the ambulance an emergency doc engages to stop the bleeding, it’s near or a liver wound, he can’t tell. Petrus is about fainting and Kitty speaks intensively into her ear, keeping her conscious but fails. The doc doesn’t know if she’ll make it. Kitty takes Petrus hand and oblivious their two tattoos touch : the lizard and the question mark. Petrus leapfrogs back into consciousness. Kitty is mesmerized by what she just witnesses. Petrus tells Kitty to go and find the third tattoo, it’s important for the world; and she should become aware of the skills of a lizard, that’ll help. Petrus presses her tattoo on Kitties tattoo and asks her „to stay in the question. Always. As long you’re in the question you re without limits“ with that she faints again. Kitty frozen, the doc shrugs with his shoulders , he looks helpless.

INT./EXT. ENTRANCE POLICE STATION

Surprise :

Commissaire Lusar leads Paul and Petrus towards the exit of the police station, they are assisting Kitty to walk, she is still not at her full capacity after what happened in the prison cell.

KITTY

(sarcastic,indistinct)

And you’re sure I’m not better of stayin’ in the cell?

LUSAR

(not falling for it)

I’d be happy having friends like these two. Walk and get well. Wouldn’t it be great we all have a calm evening?

KITTY

Is it because Petrus confessed having drugged me?

LUSAR

Yes. And because of what your ex Chief told me about you

KITTY

You spoke with Martinek? Why?

PAUL

Who is Martinek?

They are leaving through the exit, down a few steps.

LUSAR

Didn’t you know our tough gal here was back then in Prague an URNA officer?

PETRUS

You are a cop? Jeezz.

PAUL

I might be dumb what is URNA?

KITTY

A special team. Kind of SWAT.

LUSAR

C’mon. Too overmodest. It is a paramilitary educated and trained special force in Czech Republic. A Rapid Response Unit. And you were the only woman in two units same time.

PETRUS

Isn’t that something, lucky I’m still alive.

PAUL

(under his breath)

I had sex with a green baret? Hey

Kitty looks at him.

KITTY

Can I go back to the cell? Stop it.

LUSAR

Certainly we can. But he was totally positive about you and that’s why you walk free.

Looks at them.

LUSAR

And with that, we split ways. Go to your new place, enjoy Malta and do whatever you have to do with your new assignment.

PAUL

I actually like the idea.

Petrus wants to interfere but Lusar walks in the other direction.

LUSAR

(from his back)

Enjoy the night. My wife will.

Petrus, Kitty and Paul walk the other direction. A few steps quiet.

KITTY

Say it.

PETRUS

You don’t have time for a calm evening, your clock is ticking.

KITTY

See.

PAUL

What clock?

KITTY

Long story. I am about to die.

PAUL

What?

PETRUS

Stop it, you still have …

Petrus is looking at her wrist, when…

Shock:

SNIPER

(O.S.)

Commissaire Lusar! Look!

Lusar some fourty-five meters away, turns and looks.

Kitty, Paul and Petrus look what just happens. Kitty moving the other two sideways.

SNIPER

(O.S.)

Look what you just did.

PLOP – SOUND

A muffled shoot plops … and

… Petrus shrieks astonished, looks and falls to the ground.

Lusar looks at his jacket and shirt, nothing. HIS POV: Petrus falling. He starts running.

Kitty shoves Paul behind a car, her educated reflexes work despite she is not at her best. She is checking where the shot came from

Lusar comes running, cell in his hand.

LUSAR

Officer down, outside the station…an emergency ambulance … Urgent…. NOW!

CUT TO:

Suspense:

INT. EMERGENCY AMBULANCE – DUSK

EMERGENCY DOC engages to stop the bleeding, PETRUS on a stretcher, KITTY by her side. A lot of blood.

EMERGENCY DOC

It hit the liver or very close to it, I can’t tell.

KITTY

What can we do here? now?

EMERGENCY DOC

(over his shoulder)

Not much, too wide, too much blood. Keep her awake. For another four minutes maybe.

KITTY

(leans into Petrus ear)

You hear this, four minutes? Cake, that’s cake.

Kitty is close to Petrus, calm yet intense.

KITTY

You can do that. Petrus, c’mon stay with me.

Petrus coughs blood. Kitty wipes it away

KITTY

You hear me, stay awake. I need you.

Petrus falls unconscious. Kitty looks at the doc. He shrugs.

Kitty grabs Petrus hand and holds her.

KITTY

I know you hear me. We will make it to the hospital. Stay with me.

Kitty holds Petrus hand and …

SUPER

… oblivious she touches with her tattoo the question mark tattoo of Petrus’ wrist.

Petrus leapfrogs back into consciousness. Kitty is mesmerized by what she just witnesses.

PETRUS

Aahh. How do you find the tattoos? Stay in the question! Do you understand? Stay in the question.

Petrus turns her wrist, presses again her question mark tattoo on Kitties wrist with the lizard’s face.

Petrus presses and watch her energy impulsing the lizard

PETRUS

How do you find the two tattoos? As long you stay in the question you are without limits.

With that Petrus looks at her wrist

PETRUS

But now you have only twelve hours left

Petrus faints again. Kitty frozen, the doc shrugs with his shoulders, he looks helpless.
Jan Fantl

Member
August 30, 2022 at 2:44 pm in reply to: Day 10 Assignments

Jan’s Level 1 Action Emotions

WIL ?: It seems every scene has a similar 3 act structure like the whole story. Is that about right?

Log: Kitty is attacked on a parking lot after buying home accessories and kitchen appliances.

Scene Outline :

Anxiety: Parking Lot IKEA Malta. A SUV enters the parking lot, being instructed by DARK per voice over where to look for the woman that most probably is one of the tattooed ones. The car passes by the exit of the warehouse when Kitty and Paul leave the shop with a cart full of stuff. One goon reports that they might have seen the right girl. Kitty sends Paul to the car, she will just pick up the office chair at the bulky stuff counter and follow suit. When they split DARK directs the goons to follow Paul.

Fear: Kitty wheels the chair towards Paul’s car and is surprised by Dark’s goons, one holding a knife to Paul’s throat, one approaching her, telling her that she should do nothing just follow their instructions and nothing will happen to her boy friend. Kitty tells them Paul is not her boy friend and to go ahead, uses the split second of their irritation to grab a lamp post from the cart and fight the goons. She hits the first one who holds Paul and kicks him out of the way, which allows goon 2 to grab her which she fights with a smart move backwards through his legs to have both in reach and hit them against each other and then into the their car’s door. Kitty uses all appliances she founds on her cart. Paul groans and watches stunned. Kitty ties them up, sees their ear pieces, rips them out of their ears, shouts into the mike „not good enough“ and whistles on two fingers into it.

Relief: Kitty helps Paul to get up and tells him they need to go back to the store cause she broke the office chair and the lamp post. Turns to the goons laying in their SUV, searches them, takes cash and credit cards beats him up for the pin and shuts the sliding door.

EXT. PARKING LOT IKEA – DAY

A SUV enters the parking lot, slowly passing empty parking spaces, cruising.

DARK

(O.S.)

She is close. She maybe changed her look but she’s close. You’re near the entrance? copy.

GOON DRIVER 1

Copy that, we’re closing in on entrance. And exit.

DARK

(O.S.)

All eyes focus, I want her, now.

The car passes by the exit of the warehouse when KITTY and PAUL leave the shop with a cart full of interior stuff.

GOON DRIVER 1

Copy that, we have eyes on object. She’s leaving the building, with stuff.

DARK

(O.S.)

What stuff? Turn your body cam.

GOON 2 turns his upper body in Kitty’s direction. Kitty and Paul stop.

Kitty looking around where to follow the signs.

KITTY

Why don’t you pack the stuff and I’ll get the chair at the bulky counter?

PAUL

Sounds like a plan

And pushes the cart toward the parking lot. Kitty walks the other direction.

DARK

(O.S.)

Follow him, to the car.

GOON DRIVER

Copy that.

LITTLE LATER

Kitty pushes a wrapped office chair towards the parked car. She looks for Paul.

Coming around the car Kitty sees Paul hold by his neck, a knife to his throat.

FEAR

Goon Driver walks towards Kitty.

GOON DRIVER

Can we do this cool? You follow me and your boy friend walks unhurt?

KITTY

Ok, can we talk?

GOON DRIVER

No or he gets hurt.

KITTY

But this guy is not my boy friend.

GOON DRIVER

He is not?

KITTY

No.

Goon Driver looks back to Goon 2, he’s a bit out of comfort zone. Kitty uses this split second. She pushes the office chair into his legs and attacks.

Fight sequence: Kitty grabs a lamp post from the cart and fight the goons.

She hits the first one who holds Paul and kicks him out of the way, Goon 2 hits Paul on his head pushes him away goes for Kitty to grab her. Kitty fights with a smart move backwards through his legs to have both in reach and hit them against each other and then into the sliding door of their SUV.

Paul groans and watches stunned.

KITTY

Was that cool enough?

Kitty ties them up with their own neckties, sees their body cams and ear pieces, rips them out of their ears.

KITTY

Oh we’re on hidden camera

Shouts into the mike

KITTY

Not good enough!

and whistles on two fingers into it.

KITTY

(sharp hissing sound)

INTERCUT

INT. HEADQUARTER DARK – DAY

GEORGIE and two other operating assistants react to the hissing sound on their head sets. DARK in front of monitors rips his in-ear-buds out.

DARK

Gosh!

INTERCUT

Relief: Kitty helps Paul to get up

KITTY

Are you ok? Sorry for that.

PAUL

For being not your boy friend?

KITTY

Can you be not such a pussy? I didn’t say toy boy.

Kitty stamps on the body cams and earpieces, looks at the destroyed office chair and accessories.

KITTY

(tongue in cheek)

Bad news is we need to go back in and buy the stuff again.

PAUL

Really?

Kitty turns to the goons

KITTY

Help me please.

Paul and Kitty lift the goons through the sliding door of the SUV

KITTY

And know who is going to pay for it?

Kitty searches Goon Driver, takes his credit cards and cash.

KITTY

PIN?

Goon Driver doesn’t answer. Kitty grabs his arm and puts it on the slider where the car door closes.

KITTY

The PIN please

Kitty grabs the door handle and starts to close the sliding door.

Goon Driver looks dumb at Kitty.

KITTY

Ok.

She slides the door wide open to take it back to his hands

GOON DRIVER

Wait. …4321

KITTY

Very cooperative. Bye.

Kitty shoves his arm in and pushes the button for auto closing.

Kitty and Paul walks towards the warehouse, she presses the lock button on the remote and throws it into a garbage can.

INT. HEADQUARTER DARK – DAY
Jan Fantl

Member
August 29, 2022 at 8:33 pm in reply to: Day 9 Assignments

Jan’s twists

WIL? : to sort and think constantly out of the box, consider what could happen next that would be unexpected by the educated audience and yet fit into the characters logical arcs.

my favorites :

– Kitty wants to go to the tattoo parlor, Paul refuses, they have to visit the next apartment first

– Paul shows Kitty the apt, it has the strongest IT backbone cause it’s near a university building but it is out of town

+ Kitty likes is, seduces Paul to have sex with her right there
– the sex has no emotional meaning, she just needed sex

+ Kitty asks Paul to help her to buy some office stuff and a computer office chair , she s preparing for long hours;

They leave IKEA when Kitty is attacked by two DARK security goons;

+ Kitty uses some of the props from her cart to fight them off. During the fist fight she destroys their body cams. Paul is stunned.

+ Kitty finds the tattoo parlor – closed but Bar Petrus is open;

– In the bar Kitty grabs the woman who drugged her, Petrus replies she was waiting for her to show up.

– Petrus explains that Kitty was tattoed cause they needed two honest people with good vibes to save the old Artists most powerful tattoos.

+ Kitty is now the bearer of the Maltese lizard.

– But she must find and re unite with the other two within xy days after that the tattoo will start to dissolve and finally kill her;

+ Kitty codes a new algorithm to find the tattooed #3 ;

– Dark calls, invites Kitty to watch how the tattoo will be transplanted from tattooed #2 to his chest.

+ Kitty hangs up on him.

– Dark calls again, and Kitty should look out of the window, she is next. Kitty sees eight goons approaching Kitty’s apartment from all sides.

+ Kitty uses the kitchen appliances and the microwave to produce a dirty food bomb taking the majority out, then finishes the other four mano a mano.

+She switches the camera back on and shows DARK the havoc of men around her, hangs up again.
Jan Fantl

Member
August 22, 2022 at 9:34 pm in reply to: Day 7 Assignments

Jan’s Story Map

WIL: To go back and re elaborate what I missed to do – or think -beforehand

1. Look through your three tracks (Mission, Villain, and Action) and find the points that could work for this structure.

Opening
A1 Kitty races through the world of codes and numbers, the final competition who get’s the 5 jobs as highly paid white hats for the Malta casino conglomerate. (Her normal life).
M1 Kitty is among the five winners, next day a relocation agent will touch base and show her around et al. Kitty and the other 4 decide to celebrate at a mutual dinner. Beach Club dinner and party;
V1 DARK supervising the op on Malta from his HQ

Inciting Incident
M2. Kitty wants to go home from the party, allows to be talked into one last drink (this decision will change her life (beginning)).
A2 A sudden shooting in the club leads to a panic,
M3 A2 Kitty safes a life, leads to
A3 Kitty gets drugged
M4 Kitty wakes up next morning on a rock above the sea and is tattooed with a color- and beautiful lizard that vibrates when she looks at it.

First Turning Point at end of Act 1:
3. (re check :!! Kitty faints in Bar Petrus? Because when se wakes up is ACT 2 beginning of adventure) ?? )
V2 DARK adjusts plan to reality : find, get, bring them
M5 Kitty finds the bar where she was drugged and learns from Petrus that she has one of three parts of a magic tattoo and
M6 that she has ten days to unite the tattoos otherwise it will start to dissolve and kill her
A5 reloc Agent shows up shows her apt with strong backbone, Kitty gets arrested by police;
A6 Kitty will not allow to get pushed around by police officers;
V3 Two goons on the street are not enough to overwhelm Kitty. Who is she? Dark sends more people.
A8 Kitty recieves call from Dark
V4 Dark send false intel to local police

Mid-Point :
V5 a. Second call from DARK while she is with Petrus and Paul in the hospital, who explains that she got no chance – It’s not the ten days only but everything he will send her way, goons, bribe police, infiltrate her company, kill everyone around her. Petrus advise: it s not about the money and brain only, she should accept to listen to the energy of the lizard. Then she will be able to go into the zone and solve the riddle.
V7 DARK orders more people to Malta;
V8 DARK continues to manipulate local police;

A9 Kitty uses company computer to set huge algorithm
A 10 Kitty chases goons with tattoo 2, losses them , he s taken to Sofia

V9 DARK caught tattoo 2 and has it transplanted to his skin, killing him

A 11 more goons arrive

A 12 Kitty surrounded by goons , sorts it – without killing
A 13 Georgie arrives on Malta – now it gets serious;

Second Turning Point at end of Act 2:
V12 DARKs right hand man Georgie enters the police station gets hold of Kitty,

V13 kills Lusare. DARK sends a pic to Kitty’s phone where she can see that Dark has already transplanted one Tattoo to his chest. Her Tattoo goes dark.)

Crisis :
the head of IT of the casino company makes a statement, either Kitty shows up for the „leisure“ life of her white hat challenge” or let go of the job (her goal) ./.(need to fight for justice)
A? Kitty follows tracks for Tattoo 3
V14 DARK feels tattoo vibrating, knows Kitty is closing in on tattoo3
A 14 Kitty finds tattoo 3

V16 DARK has airport closed

A 15 Kitty tricks Georgie and kidnaps private jet; setting of false intel about targeted airport
V 17 Dark sends people to wrong airport
A 16 goons preparing at the wrong airport

Climax:
M18 Kitty fights through the HQ of DARK,
V20 A18 Georgie frees himself;
M19 / V21 Kitty finishes Georgie then
M20 /V22 A 20 DARK mano a Mano – knows she may not kill him either.
M21 / V23 Kitty ties the three of them together,
A21 Kitty let the tattoo decide

Resolution
M23 Returning to Malta another algorithm of Kitty has practically „robbed“ the casino without the four white hats even realizing and she therefore has won the round as white hat as well. Stepping out of the companies door, Paul and Petrus are waiting for her. Kitty shows Pertus her wrists, both show tattoos
Jan Fantl

Member
August 21, 2022 at 8:50 pm in reply to: Day 6 Assignments

Action Structure!

I learned to stay in the question about my first ideas – over and over. And calling myself names is not among the strategies that will assist to help

Create the 3-Act structure for your story.

1. Look through your three tracks (Mission, Villain, and Action) and find the points that could work for this structure.

Opening: <div>

Kitty races through the world of codes and numbers, the final competion who get’s the 5 jobs as highly paid white hats for the Malta casino conglomerate. (Her normal life). Kitty is among the five winners, next day a relocation agent will touch base and show her around et al. Kitty and the other 4 decide to celebrate at mutual dinner. Beach Club dinner and party;

Inciting Incident:

<div><div>
2. Kitty wants to go home, allows to be talked into one last drink (this decision will change her life(beginning)). A sudden shooting in the club leads to a panic, leads to Kitty wakes up next morning on a rock above the sea and is tattooed with a color- and beautiful lizard that vibrates when she looks at it. </div><div>

First Turning Point at end of Act 1:

3. Kitty finds the bar where she was drugged and learns from Petrus that she has one of three parts of a magic tattoo and that she has ten days to unite the tattoos otherwise it will start to dissolve and kill her </div><div>

Mid-Point :

4. Second call from DARK while she is with Petrus and Paul in the hospital, who explains that she got no chance – It’s not the ten days only but everything he will send her way, goons, bribe police, infiltrate her company, kill everyone around her. Petrus advise: it s not about the money and brain only, she should accept to listen to the energy of the lizard. Then she will be able to go into the zone and solve the riddle. </div><div>

Second Turning Point at end of Act 2:

5. DARKs right hand man Georgie enters the police station gets hold of Kitty, kills Lusare, and wounds Paul on his way out. DARK sends a pic to Kitty’s phone where she can see that Dark has already transplanted one Tattoo to his chest. Her Tattoo goes dark.) </div><div>

Crisis :

6. the head of IT of the casino company makes a statement, either to show up for the „leisure“ life of her white hat challenge or let go of the job (her goal) ./.(need to fight for justice)
Climax:
7. Kitty fights through the HQ of DARK, finishes Georgie then DARK, Dark knows she may not kill him either. Kitty ties the three off them together, let the tattoo decide </div><div>

Resolution

8. Returning to Malta another algorithm of Kitty has practically „robbed“ the casino without the four white hats even realizing and she therefore has won the round as white hat as well. Stepping out of the companies door, Paul and Petrus are waiting for her. Kitty shows that both of wrist are covered with tattoo, and the tattoo “smiles”.
</div></div></div>
Jan Fantl

Member
August 18, 2022 at 10:10 pm in reply to: Day 5 Assignments

Assignment 5

Jan’s Action mission

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” Unfortunately not much as I had to rush thorough this lesson as fast and late as possible due to project difficulties and managing tasks in a real life projects of mine. Yet I realized that I tuned the lessons before without almost any focus on acts because it was about missions and now I realize that I hadn’t even thought about it – (what is good thing of this class so far)

As I stared from a single sentence idea I know my finale and my most defeating point in act three but not exactly sure about mid point or even how I want act 2 to be structred like – Good I am under pressure.

Create a rough draft of your Action Track.

1. Answer the Action Questions:

A. Considering the concept from Lesson 1, what action could naturally show up in this movie?
Kitty -heroine – is educated in all kind of SAWT weapons and fighting techniques. Malta is an island in the Mediterranean, a vacation resort and swamped with party people. This allows for different fighting and chase scenes with increasing intensity in urban , dirt and hang out places.
B. Considering the Mission and Villain Tracks, what action could work for this track?
Heroine must escape the hunt for her skin and the tattoo under it. Heroine chases the unknown other two parts of the tattoo among tourists, rescue her\him, avoid constant supervision and interrogation by local police, , find a tools for self Defence as she is unarmed and unequipped, continue the IT Competion she was initially brought to the island, fight and finally shoot a constant growing army of DARKS security people with half automatic weapons she takes from the killed police officer.
Dark is relentlessly increasing the stakes to get hold of Kitty and the other tattooed, he is feeding local police with false intel to make them searching for the heroine in parallel. He has endless sources yet must constantly instruct his people not to kill her as then the tattoo will vanish.
C. How can the action start well, build in the 2nd Act, and escalate to a climax in the 3rd Act?
Heroine is tangled in a panicking crowd of party people tourists, she shows that she is educated not to panick , even shows nerves to safe a person from being trampled by taking a stand among crowds. Then waking up with the unwanted tattoo she stars searching and runs into two attacks by DARK people then getting arrested, interrogated then returning to her it commotion, receiving a. All directly from DARK explaining his goal she negotiates like a SWAT learns more of him ,
Then chasing an others tattooed loosing him ( DARK wins) a chase on dirt roads / motorbikes followed by boast chase on water.
Researching at the initial places, Petrus, one side kick gets wounded, she accepting another finding side kick, understands to accept help( mid point)
When about to find writing a new formula finding the 2nd tattoo she is arrested again but second side kick gets killed.
And second tattoo about to board she speeds to airport Feinds and evades tattoo2 from airplane – chase on air airport, escaping as she knows police procedures.
Overwhelming Georgie , flying to Sofia goes into 2 half of third act, fighting through DARK BUILDING, Georgie escaping her is I a defeat, and now final finale – finding DARK, Georgie gets in again in her way and DARK behind bullet proof glass next door has to watch how heroine has enough doesn’t fight Georgie a second time, just teasers him first then shoots him ties him to chair alive allowed to watch what she going to end it up with DARK. she wins the fight forces DARK to sit with the other two tattoos watching what the tatto will decide

2. Select the types of action you’ll use.

A. Chase/Pursuit YES
B. Fight YES
C. Shootout YES
D. Rescue YES
E. Escape/Evade YES
F. Competition YES
G. Dangerous Situations YES
H. Interrogation YES
I. Torture n.n.

3. Sequence the action scenes to deliver your story. Give us your list of action scenes and the purpose of each scene.

Beach Club (staged) panic: p(purpose): to single out trustworthy people – among them heroine- to be tattooed and disrupt DARKS PLAN

RUNAWAY scene : Kitty gets drugged and prepared for the tattoo

Office scene – IT competition starts

Relocation agent scene: find side kick get arrested by police

Police station. Kitty will not allow to get pushe around- we learn what educated fighter she is – yet only a fraction o self defense

In front of police station : two goons are not enough to kidnapp her

Dark calls: Kitty knows how to negotiate

Searching the tattoo riddle, she re meets the man who drugged her, learns why and about, when he gets shot and Kitty first fires a gun;

Kitty learns about her speaking tattoo and what advantages it might offer, awareness and fighting skills

Kitty breaks into the company computer – needs it power to find tatto2

Kitty in pursuit of the goons – water boat chase- looses tattoo 3 – he s going Sofia

More goons arrive on Malta while local police is ffedfalse intel, causing Kitty again;

Kitty surrounded by army of goons – don’t know yet how to create a new action situation – ( they know they not allowed to kill her -bas line)

DARKs right hand man GEORGIE arrives – now it gets serious

Kitty finds tattoo 2 , gets him out of plane and runs airport exteriors with him Georgi in pursuit.

Georgie out tricked by Kitty becomes ticket into DARK private jet, Kitty bossing the whole group to Sofia

Sofia-trick Zero : words off goons wairitning at the wrong airfield ( not new-I can do better)

Kitty into DARK HQ -fights her way towards DARK

Georgie free himself

Georgie wants second fight – doesn’t get it teased, shot, tied up made watching)

Kitty defeats DARK

Kitty finishes DARK watching how much the tattoo dislikes people like him
Jan Fantl

Member
August 15, 2022 at 5:37 pm in reply to: Day 4 Assignments

Jan’s Villain Mission Track

Assignment 4

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” To focus on the negative hero and stay completely with him, his pov, his work ethics and his will to force a positive outcome as good as it get’s. A formidable way to sit in the – antagonistic -other chair and focus on on it as if this would be the main storyline. Will make my heroine stronger and better looking

1. Ask the Villain Track questions to discover your Villain’s plan, decisions, and actions.

A. VERSION 2 PLAN: Before the movie started, DARK spent a lot of time preparing a complex plan that was designed to achieve an impossible goal and thwart any opposition. Kitty then was sucked into that plan by the old artist, not knowing what she was getting into.

VILLAIN: D.A.R.K

HERO: Kitty

A. Dark’s plan was conceived before the movie started. It is revealed through the decisions, adjustments and actions that he and his team take.
B. DARK kills the old Artist, sends local team for Kitty, then sends more men from Bulgaria, destroys her equipment, bribes authorities, catches one part of the tattoo and has It transplanted to his body, attacks all side-kicks.
C. DARK has planned how to manipulate the old artist and get the tattoo for himself, he knows about the powers of the tattoo, his HQ far out of reach yet has a strong infrastructure on Malta and even a stake in Kitties new employer; endless money and resources;
D. In the finale Kitty forces DARK to hold hands and allow the tattoo to wander into his body, that’s what was always his aim. The tattoo decides different and sucks the life out of DARK while transcending into Kitty and thereby takes revenge for killing the old artist;

Plan 2 – prepared plan

DARK knows the OLD ARTIST would never give in to tattoo a magic tattoo into DARKs skin. He sets out a plan to manipulate and horrify the artist in a way that he would tattoo one in three different people before killed. DARK plans it to be „his“ people. Then he could have all three parts transplanted to his own body. By this he would become immortal and would be able to develop from his own blood a medicine that only the richest of the richest could afford to stay young and healthy.

ADJUST PLAN: DARK learns that the artists community created a panic and other people than planned have been tattooed.He adjusts his plan to „find them, get them, bring them“

SURPRISE / ADJUST: His Malta locals research and find Kitty. But two men are not enough to kidnapp Kitty, nobody knows she is an ex-URNA (Swat) police officer. DARK sends a cohort of his security people to Malta to get the job done and hires more locals.

DOUBLE SIDED GAME: DARK sends intel to the local police about Kitty who promptly reacts and interrogates her. Taking her data into the police computer DARK gets hold of Kitties cell phone number and calls her.

TWIST: Kitty receives surprisingly a this call from DARK – you have something I want – yet being a URNA negotiator she can stretch the call with DARK and sounds willing to negotiate a deal.

REDUCING SIDE KICKS: On DARKs order security managed to find Kitty when she visits Petrus in the bar she’s been drugged to find a trace of the other two tattooed. She learns that one of them is from the DARK team b ut has been told by the artist that he will get his skin peeled off alive because there is no other way to transplant it unless you let the tattoo decide . Kitty learns of the „speaking“ and awareness abilities of the tattoo Petrus gets shot and heavily wounded. Kitty fights the shooters down, takes some of their weaponry and escapes, calling for an ambulance on the run.

ONE STEP FORWARD: DARK orders more people to Malta without a blink. And his team reports they know where to find their own guy who is hiding and are about extracting him to Sofia;

CONTINUE THE DOUBLE SIDED GAME: Malta police is manipulated by DARK to focus on Kitty. Police officer LUSARE instead calls Kitties ex chief in Prague only to learn that Kitty would never do something unrightfully, the opposite she left the police because she was forced to shoot when she didn’t want to. She quite the opposite is insatiable for justice in practical situations.

FIRST SUCCESS : DARK joins his tattooed henchman to the surgery and has him killed while the tattoo is transplanted to his skin, it works. Now they must get hold of Kitty and #three , both alive.

SURPRISE UPSIDE DOWN : DARK learns that Kitty has been hired by a company on Malta he is a shareholder of and starts to find ways how use this to his advantage. Kitty sitting at a computer same time sees the activities of his team and uses this to find about DARK, the team and locations, security et al.

PREDICTING: DARK sends a picture of his chest to Kitties cell, while she is disputing with the relocation guy PAUL and PETRUS in the hospital, how to refine her algorithm for the airport. There is only one person she is looking for. LUSARE has to arrest Kitty again, he is forced by his superiors.

ATTACK : DARK sends his right hand man „GEORGIE“with a cohort to the police station to pick up Kitty. When Lusare refuses to let her go, Kitty learns that DARK tried to bribe him but Lusare resisted. Georgie shoots LUSARE in front of Kitty. Police work sucks.

FIRST CRACKLES: DARK shows nerves for the first time on the call when he learns that Kitty on the way to the private air field managed to escape. Again?

Twist: DARK feels his tattoo vibrating -in 1300 miles distance – and requests of GEORGIE to find Kitty, she has found the third tattoo.

GOING IN: GEORGIE is trapped by Kitty who has the third tattoo, LUCA in tow and takes over the private jet. Georgie is forced to write a false message to DARK informing him that he has Kitty and Luca on board on his way to SOFIA.

RAMPING UP THE FINALE: DARK sends people to the private air field to pick them up, urging every body to highly alerted as KITTY is a hell of a smart fighter, he has to have them both alive.

DARK receives messages that the airplane has not landed,…. has not landed …..has not landed …..while Kitty has forced the pilot to take a different airfield and is already on her way with Luca and Georgie to the DARK HQ.

FINALE DARK and Kitty fight her way through the DARK HQ, Kitty is shielding Luca and even risking her own life knowing that she may not be killed.

Georgie manages to tear loose from KITTY and to find DARK resuming to fight Kitty.

Behind an armored glass wall DARK must watch the fight between Georgi and Kitty. After Georgie unwillingly shot Luca and is about to die, Kitty decides to finish very quickly this fight as she doesn’t have the time to.

FITTING END: DARK enters the room after Kitty unlocks the computer locked doors. And immediately locks them again. They have a mano a mano and DARK is fairly fit to be a real opponent but has a few dirty tricks up his sleeve. Kitty let go her police trained behavior and fights with all the dreck and dirt she met on the streets in the past.

After she breaks his legs and one arm, it’s over. Kitty sits him upright and ties one arm to Luca and one arm to hers. They both know that the tattoo is said that it will decide in the moment and while DARK laments why he is the better solution for the tattoo and the world of fit and healthy people Kitty just allows her into a meditation.

DARK feels how the tattoo of dying Luca and his wander to Kitty’s body. We can see how she receives the eagle on her other arm and the golden sun on her chest which unites to a colorful and powerful tattoo :lizard, sun and eagle . DARK has his – good – energy slowly sucked out of his body and his life and the bad one stays behind dying together with him.
Jan Fantl

Member
August 14, 2022 at 1:17 pm in reply to: Day 3 Assignments

Assignment 3: Jan’s Heroine’s Mission Track

I learned to go deeper into the story while asking myself over and over what must happen with odds and motivation until the end to keep the heroine on track with my initial idea of her journey.

1. Ask the Mission Track questions to discover your Hero’s mission.
A. What is it about this Hero that will have them go straight into the face of the overwhelming odds?

An ex UNRA (SWAT) officer with insatiable needs for justice. Expert with weapons, negations and IT

B. What is the mission that would be an impossible goal?

To find the other two tattooed among 400.000 tourists on Malta this weekend before DARKs people will

C. What strong internal and external motivation could drive the hero?

Unite the three tattoos within 10 days and stay alive while DARKs hunting party is ordered to bring her to the surgery in Sofia where her tattoo will be peeled off her alive ;

D. Imagine that mission playing out across a story. What could naturally happen if this hero went on this mission against this villain?

Searching to unite the tattoo, fighting DARKs security, escaping the hunt, becoming the huntress, finding the third tattoo and forcing DARK into the mystic ceremony of the three where the tattoo decides on whose skin it wants to unite.

2. Use the Mission Steps to outline the mission.

Clear Mission:

Kitty‘ s mission is to find the the other two pieces of the magic tattoo and save her own life, solve the riddle of the threefold tattoo and avoid that DARK gets hold of it same time

Motivation: stay alive by uniting the tattoo

Inciting Incident:

An old artist tattooed three selected and drugged people with the last threefold magic tattoo that holds the world of good energy together before he gets killed. Kitty is one of the selected ones

First Action:

Kitty returns to her hotel room, nothing is missing. She wants to visit the location wehere she was drugged and start her „own police work“. Briefly before the two guys who went to kidnap her, the lizards tattoo vibrates on her skin (bad energy around); she fights them off <div>

Kitty: find the other two tourists;

<div>

Obstacle:

Maltas police officer LUSAR researches same time if Kitty killed the old mysterious tattoo artist

Escalation:

DARK researches that Kitty is an ex UNRA police officer from Prague (CZ SWAT) and sends his Bulgarian security men to Malta to assist the local henchmen

Overwhelming Odds:

Kitty meets with the local relocation agent who is to show her few potential future apartments when she is arrested in public by local police because she was the last to have seen the Tattoo artist alive. Leaving the police station her phone rings and DARK wants „something“ that belongs to him and KITTY doesn’t even know what he is talking about; but understands that lizard is vibrating like hell that the tattoo reacts to energy. She uses office equipment to research„magic tattoos“, finds the dead artist, he was the last of a magic knowledge.

Twist:

DARKs people capture one of the other tattooed, the tattoo is peeled off him and transplanted on DARK.

Twist 2:

DARK is a stakeholder of the company Kitty started working at, turns out to be an advantage as she can get to intel about him

Apparent Defeat

Kitty beats up an army of security but is arrested again by Lusar

New Plan:

Kitty writes an algorithm to sort the tourists on the island and find the third tattooed.

Full out Attack:

She flies out to Sofia and fights through DARKs HQ, fights with him finally mano a mano and forces him to hold hands with her and the third dying tattooed one to allow the tattoo to make its own decision.

Success:

with the tattoo deciding for Kitty, it is sucked out DARK who dies. Kitty now carries the complete tattoo instead getting rid of it. </div>

Easy out:

Returning to Malta another algorithm of hers has practically „robbed“ the casino without the four white hats even realizing and she therefore has won the round as white hat as well.

</div>
Jan Fantl

Member
August 11, 2022 at 4:26 pm in reply to: Day 2 Assignments

Jan’s Hero and Villain

I learned to focus on re fining the characters and their basics which structures the two sentences of my idea for this course already in a storyline

Concept: A tourist on Malta gets tangled into a brawl fight and wakes up with an unwanted tattoo that will kill her if she can’t solve the riddle about within ten days while somebody unknown wants to get hold of the tattoo.

Hero Morally Right: Kitty fights for her own life and two other tattooed ones while fighting DARK to avoid to get killed

Villain Morally Wrong: DARK kills the last artist with the unique skills to ink mystic magic tattoos and hunts Kitty to peel it off her skin while alive

Hero

A. Unique Skill Set : SWAT education at UNRA in Prague with semi military weapons, blend grenades, vehicles, negotiation, IT et al, left with all honors, developed into a paid white hat that can find every weak point in software.

B. Motivation: to stay alive and save two other tattoed ones -and the balance of the world

C. Secret or Wound: Her believe in justice of authorities seems to be broken (?)

Villain DARK, Bulgarian pharmaceutical manufacturer and billionaire

A. Unbeatable:

DARK has endless security people, bodyguards and the money to hunt down Kitty and the other two tattooed ones.

B. Plan/Goal:

to catch Kitty alive and peel off her skin and the tattoo

C. What they lose if Hero survives:

DARK loses, his plan to become immortal has gone

Impossible Mission

Kitty is going to find the two other tattooed ones, safe her own life and avoids to be caught and killed by DARK

A. Puts Hero in Action: Kitty must escape, fight and search, hunt

B. Demands They Go Beyond Their Best: Finding and fighting DARK and his henchmen while searching the other two tattooed ones among hundreds of thousands of tourists on the island to solve the riddle and safe her own life;

C. Destroy the Villain Kitty finds the other two tattooed ones, unites the mystic tattoos and destroys DARKs plan to become immortal and turn it it into a business;
Jan Fantl

Member
August 10, 2022 at 8:00 am in reply to: Day 1 Assignments

I learned that even if pondering to fill the blank only shortly I become already clear to reduce to what my- newborn – idea is about.

Concept : Waking up after a wild night with an involuntarily inked tattoo that speaks energetically to her, an ex SWAT white hat must find the other two people with parts of the tattoo within 10 days before it will dissolve itself and kill her while being hunted by D.A.R.K a pharmaceutical manufacturer who wants to unite all three tattoos to become immortal.

Highly skilled heroine: Kitty an ex SWAT who left police and turned an IT specialist aka white hat.

Demand : Solve the riddle before before being killed by the tattoo and escape D.A.R.K who hunts her to peel it off her alive;

Misson: Find the two people being tattooed by the same artist before he got killed the same night and unite the three parts for the good of mankind;

Antagonist: D.A.R.K is a Bulgarian manufacturer of pharmaceuticals and billionaire who got hold of an ancient book about tattoos and the last artists of this art alive. He wants the three pieces peeled off his prey alive and transplanted to his which will give him the ultimate immortality and the sole ability to produce scalable longevity for the rich world wide.

Escalating Action: When D.A.R.K learns that Kitty has ten days of time before the tattoo will kill her, he sends more and more people to find her as he has only the same amount of time to find all three pieces. Being hunted and hunting same time Kitty uses her IT and SWAT education while she learns to talk to her lizard tattoo to be faster and smarter what drive DARK mad.
Jan Fantl

Member
August 8, 2022 at 7:29 pm in reply to: Introduce Yourself to the Group

How does this get any better than that? Hi I am Jan, currently living in Berlin.

I have not one produced theatrical script under my belt. I had started directing ands about to ad writing for German tv in the 80s when I decided to take a turn towards producing. It worked out and I left few years later for L.A. as producer and film funds manager. I am producing until today yet after some decades the beats coming to a calmer pace which I find a natural and good development.

After passing on thousands of scripts and advising quite a few writers on many produced and not produced projects I decided I want to go forward myself to the back then idea of starting on an empty page one and pull it through till “The End” on an Action movie. Or more.

I look forward to joyfully sharpen my tools together with you. Jan
Jan Fantl

Member
August 8, 2022 at 5:02 pm in reply to: Confidentiality Agreement

agree to the terms of the release form
Jan Fantl

Member
August 8, 2022 at 5:02 pm in reply to: Confidentiality Agreement

I agree to the terms of the release form
Jan Fantl

Member
May 7, 2024 at 8:26 pm in reply to: Introduce Yourself to the Group

hey Lauren, I know this situation well, the so called real biz life has taken me a couple of times out of Hal’s schedules but I felt always even more motivated to catch up.
look forward working with you
Jan
Jan Fantl

Member
May 7, 2024 at 8:22 pm in reply to: Introduce Yourself to the Group

hey, nice meeting you Yvonne
Jan Fantl

Member
April 29, 2024 at 9:25 pm in reply to: Introduce Yourself to the Group

hi Blair.
Jan Fantl

Member
April 29, 2024 at 9:24 pm in reply to: Introduce Yourself to the Group

hi Deborah,
here we go!
Jan Fantl

Member
April 29, 2024 at 9:23 pm in reply to: Introduce Yourself to the Group

Hi Nick!
Jan Fantl

Member
April 29, 2024 at 9:21 pm in reply to: Introduce Yourself to the Group

hi Christopher,
thank you, yes, me too. I look forward having a lot of tough fun.

Jan Fantl

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