[Jason Nave]

Jason’s Budget

What I learned doing this assignment is you don’t have to spend a lot of money to have a good story, and you can cut down your budget by paying attention to a few things as you write. As someone who produces my own films, I have experienced this. There’s something satisfying about producing something on a shoestring budget that people enjoy.

Things I have in my outline that may increase budget, and how to reduce them:

Firing a gun – In production, don’t show the firing. It won’t be a real, loaded gun. Either CGI the flash/bang or don’t show it at all and add sound in post. Don’t need a gun wrangler, etc. without a real gun.

Fights – Really can’t get away from this, but we can minimize the danger in the camera angles. It won’t be elaborate with a lot of props and stuff breaking, so it should be okay.

Injuries (makeup, effects) – Cut it down to minimal injuries, less seen, more expressed by the actors. Simple fake blood, but nothing gory or over the top. Trust the actors to sell it with minimal effects.

An explosion (though not really seen just heard and felt) – Not showing the explosion should do it. It’s implied, maybe shake the camera, add some explosion sounds, flickering of lights.

If my budget was quadrupled:

– Show a big explosion, really knock the audience’s socks off.

– Big fights with props, broken things, pull out all the stops.

– Go all out with the injuries and effects.

– Real guns? Nah, we’re past that.

– Elaborate shots that are hard to do but are cinematic.

– Add a few locations for backstory, or really jazz up the primary location.

That’s pretty much it. I don’t need to scale up or down a lot for this story (I think).

[Jason Nave]

Jason Writes Great Hope/Fear!

What I learned doing this assignment is that thinking in a Hope/Fear context helps to fill in the blanks from a plot and scene perspective to make sure the story keeps moving.

I’m still working out parts of the story, but here’s a sampling of my Hope/Fear train:

Act 1:

HOPE: Wife and Husband on their honeymoon

INCOMPATIBILITY: There is tension under the surface.

DANGER: Bomb sirens blare; something is happening – panic, disbelief, denial. People rush into the bunker.

DESTRUCTION: The bomb explodes outside; the building is leveled. They wouldn’t have made it if Prepper didn’t close the door when he did.

HOPE: They are safe inside. But TRAPPED.

DEATH: They come across a Dead Man. His throat is slit.

NOT SURE WHO OR WHAT THE REAL THREAT IS: The killer is likely someone trapped inside.

Act 2:

2nd Act Goal: Survive encounter with Prepper.

HOPE: There’s a radiation monitor inside to tell them how bad the outside is… but…

TRAPPED/DANGEROUS: It’s pretty bad, and they can’t get out, and there’s probably a killer among them.

HOPE: There is food and water, but it has also been used as a storage closet. There are tanks of refrigerant stored inside. Someone notes this could be dangerous with toxic gas under pressure.

DANGER/DEATH: Drug Addict is high and freaks out from being trapped inside. He goes off the rails and needs to be subdued. The combo of drugs and excitement makes his heart stop and he dies.

HOPE: Though the tension is high, everyone is discussing calmly. They pat down each other and search purses and backpacks.

DANGER: They find a pistol in the false bottom of a backpack (it seemed too heavy to be empty).

LOSS OF A COMPANION/DEATH: Jeopardy Guy accidentally shoots Inheritance Girl.

PERSON ON THE EDGE: Jeopardy Guy turns the gun on himself. He dies.

THREAT: Prepper gets the gun. Now he is in charge.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Act 3:

HOPE: Prepper doesn’t kill them all; maybe he’s reasonable.

TRAPPED/PRISONER: The Wife, Husband, and Deaf Girl (now awake) are now being held hostage.

HOPE: Prepper is hurt and needs help. He makes Wife tie up the others and help patch him up.

HOPE: The three captives hash out a plan. The plan has been sprung, as Wife and Deaf Girl make their moves.

ATTACK/INJURY: Prepper sees them making their move and attacks. Knocks out Husband with gun. Goes after Deaf Girl, who is trying to get a weapon.

HOPE: Wife gets to the door.

ATTACK/INJURY: After knocking down Deaf Girl, Prepper goes after Wife and stops her from getting away.

HOPE: Husband is up and helping Wife.

DEATH/LOSS OF COMPANION: There’s a struggle for the gun and it goes off. Husband has been shot. Dies.

TRAPPED/PRISONER: Deaf Girl is injured. Prepper ties up Wife with cord.

Act 4:

HOPE: Prepper insists he didn’t kill the first man and everything since then has been a terrible accident. He seems like not much of a threat, but is he mad?

INJURY: Deaf Girl isn’t doing well with her injury, is woozy from a concussion. Wife pleads with Prepper to help her.

HOPE: As Prepper is distracted, Wife is able to free herself.

ATTACK: Wife goes after Prepper.

HOPE: Deaf Girl makes her way up – she’s going to try to escape.

DANGER: Prepper has the upper hand on Wife.

TICKING CLOCK/IMPENDING DOOM: In the fight, a tank is damaged and toxic fumes spew from it, quickly filling the room.

HOPE: Deaf Girl is free, but instead of leaving, she runs to the Dead Man, has a moment, kisses him. WTF?

TICKING CLOCK/IMPENDING DOOM: Fumes fill the room. Prepper is choking Wife. Deaf Girl starts climbing to the ceiling. Wife tries to yell at her to escape.

HOPE: Wife is able to escape and kill Prepper.

DANGER/TICKING CLOCK: Deaf Girl will not leave, not before she gets what she’s after.

DEATH: Deaf Girl falls to her death, unable to breathe.

HOPE: Rescuers have just arrived to help people out of the bunker. Wife is free.

[Jason Nave]

Jason’s 4 Act Structure

What I learned doing this assignment is that it helps to break down your structure into bite-size pieces, each with a mini-structure or goal. My structure is still very much a work in progress.

1. Tell us the following:

Concept – When a tourist group rushes into a nuclear bunker after an explosion, they find themselves trapped inside with a dead man and one of them must be the killer.

Main Conflict – Staying alive while being trapped in the bunker and figuring out who among them is a killer.

2. Fill in each of these with the answers you have right now.

Act 1:

Opening – Wife and Husband on their honeymoon prepare to go out, but there’s tension between them; Prepper has a conflict with Front Desk Girl. There’s a threat of a nuclear event, but nobody takes it seriously.

Inciting Incident – There is an explosion coming (sirens blare with warning) and everyone rushes inside the bunker. Front Desk Girl doesn’t make it when Prepper closes the door on her before she gets in, which seems cruel, but in hindsight saved them as the explosion rocks them just as he closes the door.

Turning Point – They find a dead man in the bunker. His throat is slit.

Act 2:

New plan – They need to stay alive, but come to the conclusion someone in the bunker is likely the killer. Drug addict freaks out, is subdued by the group, dies.

Plan in action – People interrogate each other to try to figure out who is the killer.

Midpoint Turning Point – They find a gun in Prepper’s backpack. There is a struggle and Jeopardy Guy gets control of the gun. He accidentally kills Inheritance Girl. Becomes distraught and kills himself. Prepper gets the gun and now he is in charge.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Act 3:

Rethink everything – Only Wife, Husband, Deaf Girl, and Prepper left. They are in survival mode and comply. Prepper is the prime suspect but puts the pressure on Husband. Husband has secrets that bring suspicion on him when being questioned. How well does Wife actually know Husband?

New plan – They watch the outside radiation level. The three conspire on a plan to overtake Prepper: When the outside radiation level drops to a survivable level they will make a run for it.

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift – Husband does something to raise the ire of Prepper. Husband goes for it with their plan. It looks like he has won the battle, but when he celebrates for just a moment with Wife, Prepper gets a jump on him. Husband is killed, Deaf Girl is injured. Prepper ties up Wife with cord. Prepper justifies it as self defense to Wife and Deaf Girl.

Act 4:

Final plan – Prepper says he didn’t kill the first man, but it just sounds like he’s in denial. He says all he has done is defend himself against Husband. He’s increasingly unhinged as he speaks, but he’s being truthful, talks about his beliefs, government conspiracies, and how to survive indefinitely in the wild. It’s unnerving how he seems to be losing grasp of reality.

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict – Wife sees an opening and makes her move. Deaf Girl kisses Dead Man – reveal that they were together – and scurries up to get the item. Wife yells at her to get out, but she doesn’t stop. Deaf Girl can’t breathe, collapses, falls to the floor dead. Wife gets out as rescue workers in Hazmat suits show up.

Resolution – Wife has gotten over the incident. She’s on a vacation with a friend. She appears to have overcome her weakness/fear/wound, but then ominous sirens blare – another catastrophe? She reacts in a commanding way that scares her friend. It was nothing and she laughs it off, leaving her friend stunned.

[Jason Nave]

Jason’s Delivering Multiple Layers!

What I learned doing this assignment is that layers lead to reveals, which are great for engaging audiences. Basically any reveal in the story can be built into a pre-defined layer (a setup and payoff). Looking at characters, plots, and locations are great places to create these layers.

This technique can be used throughout the script in a number of ways, but here are a couple I have so far:

Location Layer

Surface Layer: They are trapped in a simple bunker.

Beneath That: A dead man is in the bunker – perhaps a murder occurred in there.

How Revealed: The body is found once they are locked inside.

Character Layer

Surface Layer: They are all stuck in the bunker together randomly.

Beneath That: The Dad Man is Deaf Girl’s partner in crime to steal a high-value item.

How Revealed: Deaf Girl doesn’t just leave the bunker when given the chance. Instead, she tries to retrieve the item they went in to steal and dies in the process.

[Jason Nave]

Jason’s Character Journeys!

What I learned doing this assignment is that it would be easier to lay out the character journeys if I had a better grasp on the full plot, but this actually helps to develop the plot. I have a good amount of work to do to flush out these journeys.

WIFE

Beginning: Prepares for her honeymoon vacation with her Husband. There’s a tension beneath the surface that Husband tries to joke his way out of.

Turning Point: They lock themselves in the bunker with the others. The honeymoon has taken a dangerous turn.

Midpoint: She reveals that she knows about the husband’s affair. It’s a public outing in front of everyone in the bunker.

Turning Point 2: Her Husband is killed trying to protect her. She’s all alone now in this situation.

Dilemma:

3rd Act Climax: Fights with Prepper, kills him. A tank of noxious gas is damaged and fills the bunker. As the room fills with fumes, she desperately tries to escape.

Ending: She escapes from the bunker just as rescuers arrive.

HUSBAND

Beginning: Prepares for honeymoon vacation but knows something isn’t right with Wife. He hits on the Deaf Girl. This is not a good husband.

Turning Point: They lock themselves in the bunker with the others. The honeymoon has taken a dangerous turn.

Midpoint: He is humiliated in front of everyone for his affair.

Turning Point 2: Prepper goads him into a confrontation. He thinks he has to win back Wife’s trust, so he goes overboard and further agitates Prepper.

Dilemma: Does he try to win back his Wife’s love, but put himself in danger?

3rd Act Climax: In a battle for the gun, and control of the bunker, Prepper gets the best of him.

Ending: Prepper shoots and kills him.

DEAF GIRL

Beginning: Unbeknownst to the audience, she is involved in a theft with a partner, who is inside the bunker.

Turning Point: They lock themselves in the bunker with the others. She discovers her partner is dead in the bunker.

Dilemma: Does she tell anyone that she knows the dead man, possibly diffusing the heavy conflict inside, but outing herself as a thief?

Midpoint:

Turning Point 2:

3rd Act Climax: As noxious fumes fill the room, she is incapacitated. Wife puts two and two together and realizes she is a thief. Tries to save her, but…

Ending: It’s no use, Wife has to get out before she dies. Deaf Girl doesn’t make it.

PREPPER

Beginning: He is chased off by Front Desk Girl. He doesn’t belong at the resort and is an annoyance.

Turning Point: They lock themselves in the bunker with the others.He has a chance to let Front desk Girl in but he doesn’t.

Midpoint: They find Prepper’s gun and he is even more of a suspect now. He refuses to give it up.

Turning Point 2: He shoots and kills Husband.

Dilemma:

3rd Act Climax: Stand-off between him and Wife. Deaf Girl is alive but incapacitated.

Ending: Wife turns the tables on him and kills him.

[Jason Nave]

Jason’s Character Depth!

What I learned doing this assignment is I’m still feeling out my characters. I came into this class with zero preconceived notion of the story to tell, so everything is coming from scratch. Thus, I haven’t given my characters names yet – it just feels way too early for where I am with their development. This exercise is helping me think through the characters and their motivations. This is a start anyway.

Wife

Motivation: To live her own life (and, of course, to survive this moment).

Secret: She didn’t want to marry her husband.

Wound: Her husband has cheated on her.

Subtext: She wishes she wasn’t on this honeymoon with her husband.

Conflict: Fight between her and her husband boils to the surface under the stressful confinement.

Conspiracy: She and her husband naturally team up to try to survive.

Dilemma: As the situation comes to its most dire head, can she save another person or risk dying herself.

Husband

Motivation: To save his marriage after being found out.

Secret: He cheated on his wife, and also hit on the Deaf Girl once they arrived at the resort.

Subtext: He will never be ready to settle down, but he loves his wife.

Conflict: Fight between her and her husband boils to the surface under the stressful confinement.

Hidden Agenda: He doesn’t want his wife to find out he hit on the Deaf Girl who is trapped with them.

Conspiracy: He and his wife naturally team up to try to survive.

Prepper

Motivation: To be the last one standing.

Wound: He was abandoned by a loved one and can never trust anyone.

Subtext: He plays games with people’s minds.

Conflict: Butts heads with everyone, seemingly on purpose.

Hidden Agenda: He wants people to think he could be the killer.

Secret Identity: He’s the obvious candidate for the killer, but its not him.

<b style=””>Deaf Girl

Motivation: To steal; to get out of this situation alive and not caught.

Secret: She is a thief and was working with the dead man.

Wound: She has never felt normal and steals to get even with society.

Subtext: She is a sociopath, only cares about herself.

Layers: Comes across as sweet, innocent, and vulnerable. Ends up revealed as a thief.

Conflict: Avoids conflict to keep attention off herself, but refuses to engage, which causes turmoil.

Hidden Agenda: To not be discovered for what she is.

Intrigue: Why does she act the way she does?

Secret Identity: A thief and partner of the dead man.

Inheritance Girl

Motivation: To enjoy her vacation.

Secret: She’s not wealthy, but she received an inheritance when her mother died (not really an active secret, but will be revealed among the stress of the situation).

Wound: Her mother died and they had planned to go on this vacation together.

Conflict: Her traveling companion (Jeopardy Guy) wants to be in a romantic relationship with him but she has friend-zoned him.

Secret Identity: A regular person, not the upper-crust persona she radiates.

Jeopardy Man

Motivation: To get closer to Inheritance Girl.

Secret: He’s in love with Inheritance Girl.

Wound: He has never been accepted as a romantic partner in his life.

Conflict: Inheritance Girl doesn’t like him romantically and it drives him crazy. She even assumed he was gay because he took interest in everything she did.

Hidden Agenda: To win over Inheritance Girl.

[Jason Nave]

Jason’s Right Characters!

What I learned doing this assignment is there is a “right” set of characters for any story. Characters who bring conflict, possibilities, and interesting takes make a more engaging story.

A group of tourists rushed into a nuclear bunker after an explosion find themselves trapped inside with a mortally wounded man and a killer among them.

What makes my characters the right ones (still a work in progress) is that they are designed to have conflict and create suspense. Each has something to contribute to the situation, as well as a reason to fall under suspicion. Their attributes are meant to clash with one another as their situation becomes more and more dire.

[Jason Nave]

Jason’s Great Hook

A. How did this process work for you?

It helps to have a structure/prompts to aid in coming up with hooks, as they are not always right in front of you. Being pushed to brainstorm keeps me from accepting the first thing that comes to mind, which is generally not the best idea I can come up with. I’m not completely decided on which concept to move forward with, but I have a couple of solid options, I believe.

B. What did you learn doing this assignment?

Exchanging components can help bring that extra sauce to a concept, something out of the ordinary or an additional layer of story or intrigue.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by  Jason Nave.

[Jason Nave]

<div>What I learned doing this assignment is that there are many things to consider in focusing on a contained screenplay. Especially if you’re trying to create a story with limited resources and budget, you have to think about everything from setting, to number of people on set, to stunts, and anything else that will drive cost and complexity.</div>

ASSIGNMENT PART 1: Select Your Project

1. Go through your five ideas and determine which of them can easily fit the Covid-19 guidelines. For the moment, don’t list the ideas. Just tell us your experience of evaluating them based upon the guidelines.

A. It can be done as a contained story.

B. You can write a pitch in one or two sentences.

C. There is something unique about it.

I came in with no preconceived ideas of stories and started off brainstorming contained locations. I have a few ideas that I can do, but still need to pick the “best” for what I’m trying to accomplish. I further limited myself by only considering stories that I think I can produce myself. This made the brainstorming more difficult because it forced me to think of locations that were accessible (or possibly, maybe accessible). I found that this takes a little bit of fun out of the process, but knowing that it has a real chance of becoming a produced project makes it more satisfying. After picking each location, I considered characters and contained situations that would fit in a way that led to natural conflict and entertainment. I have a couple that could definitely work. I may end up taking two through the process, since I have at least two very different types of stories and don’t want to pin myself down just yet. I think they can be pitched in one or two sentences and have something unique.

ASSIGNMENT PART 2: Adjust a Produced Movie to Covid Guidelines

2. Pick a movie that is outside the Covid Guidelines and give us your thoughts on how they could make it in the current production environment.

TITLE: Die Hard

AS THEY DID IT:

A. People: John McClane, his wife, the workers in the building, cops, and lots of bad guys

B. Stunts: Lots of action: guns, fights, falls, explosions

C. Extras: Lots of office workers and cops

D. Wardrobe: Cop uniforms, office attire

E. Hair and Make Up: People in the office who need to look professional

F. Kids and Animals: None (thank goodness!)

G. Quarantine: Tons of people in confined spaces

COVID GUIDELINE VERSION:

A. People: Stick to the main characters, maybe isolate them from the others and imply larger crowds of office workers or cops. We can be led to believe they are there without showing them or showing very many.

B. Stunts: Stunts are pretty important to this movie, but we can cut down on big, expensive stuff like explosions and gun battles. Be more inventive with conflicts, confined spaces, and psychological warfare.

C. Extras: Remove all the office workers and keep a small core, perhaps focusing on John’s wife and a couple more for effect (like the slimy weasel). Cut down the number of cops.

D. Wardrobe: If you limit the workers and cops, you reduce the impact of wardrobe. There’s really nothing fancy here so people can bring their own clothes for the office. Cop uniforms are the exception and are needed.

E. Hair and Make Up: The scenes lend themselves pretty well to people doing their own hair and makeup since they’re expected to look pretty “normal”.

F. Kids and Animals: N/A

G. Quarantine: Most of the action happens in the building, so it is well set up for a contained environment and control of people coming and going. Ancillary scenes in other locations (e.g. airplane) can be scaled down, played as close-ups, or eliminated in favor of a more isolated setting.

[Jason Nave]

Hey Everyone,<div>

My name is Jason Nave. I have written about a dozen features, a handful of pilots, maybe a dozen shorts. I’ve completed the ScreenwritingU Pro Series and MSC programs, as well as several other courses.

I live in the Los Angeles area (moved from San Antonio, TX almost 7 years ago) and I’m also a filmmaker who has produced a number of shorts. I now plan to complete my first feature soon and this means working to a budget. So I’m looking to maximize my efforts by picking up some tips on building a solid contained script.

Something interesting… I’m an engineer and program manager and have worked in the areas of robots & automation and aerospace. I worked on components that ended up on the James Webb Space Telescope.

</div>

[Jason Nave]

Jason Nave

I agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.