
Jeff Reynolds
Forum Replies Created
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Jeff / Meaningful Action
What I learned? There’s many ways to level up the entertainment value of a scene-no more talking heads.
Old way- The Ride Home
Einstein and dude are driving on the freeway when Einstein asks Dude “How did you do it?” Homelessness?
Dude explains the grueling day to life that he lived.
New way/ The Ride Home
Going across Coronado bridge Dude looks out to downtown San Diego V.O.
Dude explains the difficulties of life, murder, suicide, drugs rape and the daily survival hunt for food. All while images of these things are shown to the audience.
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Jeff -making the entertainment value better
Jeff- Entertainment values
1-(e-8) All three characters are introduced in a grocery story line .
2-(e-9) Einstein riding skateboard to meet Bob.
3-(e-7) Hedgewood has lost her job and her home.
4-(e-6) Einstein changing oil with friend Stan.
5-(e-10) Einstein participates in batting practice at padres game.
6-(e-9) Dude has fight on bridge and loses everything.
7-(e-8) What do we do with Einstein community party.
8-(e-9) Meet cute on porch with Hedgewood.
9-(e-9) Job interview and house tour.
10-(e-10) The all nighter clean up.
11-(e-7) Holy toledo the morning after.
12-(e-8) Home depot and meeting Dude.
13-(e-8) Einstein and dude hit the barber shop.
14-(e-7) Einstein and dude hit the Goodwill.
15-(e-6) Einstein and dude hit the gym.
16-(e-7) Community garage clean up.
17-(e-6) Football in the park with house sale.
18-(e-8) Dude introduced to pool room.
19-(e-7) Einstein Hedgewood come up with gamelgard plan.
20-(e-8) Gamelgard in the park.
21-(e-8) The hunt for small breet.
22-(e-6) The ride home
23-(e-7) montage 1
24-(e-8) Bike Coronado
25-(e-8) Magic whiteboard
26-(e-6) He said she said pizza place.
(*improved the entertainment of this scene by having another conversation going on at the same time they are playing the game) purpose of scene is bigger and better with two things happening at once)* (e9)
27-(e-6) Party plan blown up
*( still same purpose but the plan now involves everyone-even the audience watching) (e9)
28-(e-7) Montage 2
29-(e-8) Pool clean up Love you
30-(e-10) family day.
31-(e-10) Low point for Hedgewood
32-(e-10) crazy room revealed
33-(e-9) Compulsive cleaning business imagined
34-(e-8) Falling in La La La
35-(e-6) Some new friends
*(same purpose but more entertaining with baseball and a business idea reveal)(*e-9)
36-(e-10) Bigger and better
37-(e-10) Cultipark party for the homeless
38-(e-9) Dude off to maui
39-(e-8) Janice joins esthers
40-(e-7) love does mondays
41-(e-6) montage 3
42-(e-7) Disney proposal
43-(e-7) Maui Dude
44-(e-8) Maui wedding
45-(e-8) Love does it again San Diego
A better way to rewrite than looking at the whole 120 pages. Easy to see where the work needs to be put in my script.
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Jeff- Entertainment values
1-(e-8) All three characters are introduced in a grocery story line .
2-(e-9) Einstein riding skateboard to meet Bob.
3-(e-7) Hedgewood has lost her job and her home.
4-(e-6) Einstein changing oil with friend Stan.
5-(e-10) Einstein participates in batting practice at padres game.
6-(e-9) Dude has fight on bridge and loses everything.
7-(e-8) What do we do with Einstein community party.
8-(e-9) Meet cute on porch with Hedgewood.
9-(e-9) Job interview and house tour.
10-(e-10) The all nighter clean up.
11-(e-7) Holy toledo the morning after.
12-(e-8) Home depot and meeting Dude.
13-(e-8) Einstein and dude hit the barber shop.
14-(e-7) Einstein and dude hit the Goodwill.
15-(e-6) Einstein and dude hit the gym.
16-(e-7) Community garage clean up.
17-(e-6) Football in the park with house sale.
18-(e-8) Dude introduced to pool room.
19-(e-7) Einstein Hedgewood come up with gamelgard plan.
20-(e-8) Gamelgard in the park.
21-(e-8) The hunt for small breet.
22-(e-6) The ride home
23-(e-7) montage 1
24-(e-8) Bike Coronado
25-(e-8) Magic whiteboard
26-(e-6) He said she said pizza place.
27-(e-6) Party plan blown up
28-(e-7) Montage 2
29-(e-8) Pool clean up Love you
30-(e-10) family day.
31-(e-10) Low point for Hedgewood
32-(e-10) crazy room revealed
33-(e-9) Compulsive cleaning business imagined
34-(e-8) Falling in La La La
35-(e-6) Some new friends
36-(e-10) Bigger and better
37-(e-10) Cultipark party for the homeless
38-(e-9) Dude off to maui
39-(e-8) Janice joins esthers
40-(e-7) love does mondays
41-(e-6) montage 3
42-(e-7) Disney proposal
43-(e-7) Maui Dude
44-(e-8) Maui wedding
45-(e-8) Love does it again San Diego
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Jeff and Character intro’s-
FADE IN: INT. MORNING GROCERY STORE DOWNTOWN SAN DIEGO
Einstein is a Grizzly Adams looking customer living a shipwrecked life at fifty one. Crazy to think that this man buying balloons and pepsi’s and picking at his nose was designed for accomplishment, engineered for success and gifted with an inventors way of thinking. A young girl is running to front of store and bumps Einstein and a young boy chasing girl hits Einstein’s hand and his balloons float to light fixture above. Einstein stares at balloons and reaches and pulls a few hairs out of his nose. In another line is Jenny Lynn Hedgewood giving Einstein a look. She’s a pretty forty year old human cleaning dynamo dressed like she just jumped out of the mother of the year catalog and her work with a smile can do attitude turns the impossible into the possible. She jumps into action and pushes box to Einsteins line grabs broom and hops up on counter then higher shelving and reaches balloons with broom and pulls them down. Hands balloons to Einstein and wipes down counter and goes back to her line. Dude a young twenty year old homeless who’s scruffy exterior makes it nearly impossible to see his potential greatness and his ability to encourage the world. Dude is buying a small bag of dog food and pack of hot dogs filled with chili. Einstein is paying and takes big drink finishing one of his Pepsi’s. Jen receives her change in metal dispensary but drops some coins on floor and immediately drops to her knees to retrieve them. Einstein kicks one of the quarters out the door while giving the kids two of his balloons. Einstein is outside and Dude is digging in trash can in front of a row of condemned burnt down buildings called the love shack. Einstein puts his empty bottle on ledge near trash can along with all the coins in his pocket. Einstein ties balloon to handlebar of dude’s bike. Jen sees this and picks up quarter from ground and puts it on ledge. She then puts one slice of cake on ledge. Einstein hands her balloon. Dude pops his head up and for a second Einstein Jen and the Dude all look at each other. Balloons say Love Does It Again.
What I learned-
It’s okay to introduce my characters in a big way. I am still working on the first scene but have made some big changes introducing all three main characters in the grocery store. There is no dialog and I like the idea that we may have run into friends before actually being friends. My first wife and I grew up in the same town but never met. I often wondered if we were in the movies at the same time or store and maybe said hi to one another.
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Character:
Hedgewood is fired from her job and then finds her footing with a business of her own before finding love and a huge dream of ending homelessness.
Her Beats
-fired and losing her home in same day.
-Job interview on Einsteins porch hours later
-Shes a human cleaning dynamo
-Starting a business
-generous with neighbors and friens
-Jensday at the beach
-Love does it again
-Big and better dream
-Party for the homeless
-Disney proposal
-Maui wedding
*made big changes to the love does it again scenes with a larger than life dream of joining all their business startups into one huge business for the homeless.
This assignment has got my mind really going and thinking of things I never had any inkling of before.
I added a new twist with the passing of Einsteins wife, came out of nowhere. I did this assignment for all main characters.
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Logline: Three abbeynormal individuals create a business that gives the homeless a second chance and in the process they all find love again
Character name: Einstein
Role: Guide/instructor/mentor
Core character traits
-Humility
-Wisdom
-Availability
-Positivity
Character subtext logline: Einstein is a brilliant inventor but
wants to be more like Jesus.
His mission: To change the world for the homeless
Want:To create a business for the homeless. Need: He needs love again
Change: is availability-he has time and takes time for the people around him.
Character:Jenny Hedgewood
Role: Live in cleaning lady
Core character traits:
-Compulsive cleaner
-movie fanatic
-Kind
-Conscientious
-Generous
Character Subtext Logline: Hedgewood is a human cleaning machine
who would like to live a normal life and
fall in love like they do in the movies.
Life metaphor/Identity:Hedgewood has many layers like an onion.
Want:Give up her compulsive ways and lead a normal life.
Character arc: Goes from barely hanging on to falling in love and overcoming her challenges
to become someone who changes the world.
Change: Generous was just waiting for me to add
Character:Dude
Role:Homeless live in
Character traits:
-Survivor
-Courageous
-Impressive
-Energetic
Character subtext logline: Dude wants to overcome his drug addicted parents and
be someone special.
Life metaphor/Identity: Dude is a gift to the world. His young life has been difficult but
he is taking advantage of his second chance.
Want: Live a great story.
Character arc: Homeless and beat up and thinking about jumping off a bridge to creating a new life. Then doing something that few ever do.
Change: Impressive is going to be great to add to this character.
Character:Stan the man
Role: Loyal friend to Einstein.
Character traits:
-Loyal
-funny
-dedicated
-popular
Character arc: friend that trys to break the Einstein depression with day after day
of friend love and it finally pays off
Secret: He has a surprise gift for Einstein thats just short of a miracle
Change: popular and dedicated will give this Stab more believability
Character: Downer Gamelgard
Role: angry neighbor
Character traits:
-pedantic
-miserable
-anxious
-funny
Character arc: The neighbor that’s all nightmare faces reality and comes clean with his lie he has been living. Then finds his smile in Arizona.
Change: funny can be added to every scene with downer.
I loved and learned so much from this assignment The possibilities are endless
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Logline
Three abbeynormal individuals create a business that gives the homeless a second chance and in the process find love again.
The Beats
1-int grocery-day
Einstein purchases a gift for his new hero who he hopes to meet in 15 minutes.
2-ext. San Diego -day
A skateboarding Einstein crashes when he meets his hero Bob.
3-int. House day
Jennifer Hedgewood loses her job and home.
4-ext. driveway day
Einstein under hood tells friend that he’s ready to start living again.
5-ext. harbor bride day cont.
A young homeless named Dude gets in a fight and loses everything including his dog.
6-ext. padres game late afternoon
Einstein participates in batting practice and fulfills a dream
7-int living room evening
Neighbor organizing a birthday party for Einstein to get him going again.
8-ext. back porch evening cont
Einstein falls over pile of belongings and the owner of these things is sitting on his porch.
9-int. Living room cont
Hedgewood is getting job interview while cleaning Einstein’s disaster of a living room.
10-int. Einstein’s home cont
Einstein gives her a chance and tour of his home.
11-int Einstein’s home cont
Hedgewood stays up all night cleaning because that’s what she does. She’s a compulsive cleaner
‘12- int kitchen morning
Einstein is blown away by what has happened to his home. Hedgewood passes out in bed
13-ext. Home Depot morning
Einstein meets dude who’s holding a will work sign. Einstein give him a chance.
14-int. Barber shop morning
Einstein and Dude both cut their scraggly hairdos and facial hair
15-int. Goodwill noon
Einstein and Dude getting some new duds
16-int. Gym day
Einstein joins gym and proceed to play basketball and Dude jumps in shower and puts on new duds.
17-ext. Einstein’s drive
Einstein pulls together community of friends to clean up his disaster garage before Hedgewood starts on it. Dude is part of the clean up
18-ext. treehouse night
Hedgewood and Einstein call rude neighbor on cell and give him a challenge.
19-ext. park in front evening
Einstein has a bet with Mr Gamelgard and helps him.
20-ext downtown morning
Search for Dudes dog
21-ext. freeway day
Einstein and Dude have heart to heart with dog in backseat.
22- montage 1
– Dude is restoring pool house
– Hedgewood cleans and sings
– Einstein working in his crazy room
– rubber band wars commence
– Dude goes to Dentist
– Hedgewood and Einstein exercise
23-ext. house day
Dude is starting curb appeal business with Einstein and have an unusual way to attract business.
23-ext Coronado day
Hedgewood and Einstein have a beautiful day of fun.
24- int. House day
Plans for home repainting
25- ext. big bear day
Racing down mountain on slide Einstein gets Hedgewood to dream big
26- ext. balcony of condo day
Hedgewood with magic whiteboard put their dreams in motion.
27-int. Pizza restaurant evening
Einstein and Hedgewood play a movie game and help another couple while waiting for pizza
28-int home party – evening cont
At Tuckers home and Einstein and Hedgewood discover that community is planning a giant birthday party for Einstein.
29-ext. pool day
Pool movie magic clean up day and everyone is talking Hedgewoods movie language and love is in the air.
30-ext. backyard day
Backyard community party and Hedgewood loses control and is ashamed of her behavior.
31-int. Bedroom night
Hedgewood and Einstein talk of weirdness
32- int. Crazy room
The big reveal is a room where anything’s possible. A promise to Einstein’s wife was what kept him going and what he created will benefit everyone.
33- int kitchen cont
Einstein talking like a reporter delivers the news of a new business in town.
34-int. Einstein’s bedroom-cont
Playful jumping on bed turns into lovies…..falling in la la la
35-ext. driveway day
Einstein is a big brother to Javier and the cleaning business is started.
36-ext. neighborhood-day
Ten teams participating in a game of bigger and better to raise funds for the homeless hullabaloo
37-ext. cultipark late afternoon
An old fashioned carnival with people coming from all over city.
38-ext. Point Loma -day
Dude is off to Maui
39- ext. cultipark day
Hedgewood gets her friend a job at Esther’s in the park
40-int. Barbershop day
Hedgewood makes a deal with harry to cut hair for the homeless.
41-montage
-lovedoesday
-Dude in Maui
-cleaning business cleaning
-top of cowles mountain
– Doctors office patting stomach
42-Ext. Disney-day
Disneyland proposal
43- ext. Maui day
Dude riding bike to catch up with a girl in Maui
44-ext. beach day
Maui wedding and everyone’s there
45-ext. San Diego day
Love does it again business revealed.
I’ve learned that I’ve had my own version of beats but I have gone through the scenes a hundred times in other ways getting rid of some and changing others. I love the beats process and what I am learning. I have changed what’s happening in several of the scenes but kept the beat.
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What I learned?
– I am learning to lose my uneasiness about a rewrite and look forward to the possibilities.
Logline
– Three abbeynormal people find love while creating a solution to the homeless challenge.
1-Opening-old way
The protagonist Einstein is in downtown San Diego riding a skateboard chasing down Bob. Bob is the writer of a book that has Einstein saying yes to life again.
1-Opening-new way
Same
2-Inciting Incident-old way
Same day late evening after attending ballgame Einstein is walking up to his home and tossing his baseball in air trips and falls over over pile of luggage and boxes. Jenny Lynne Hedgewood is unexpectedly on his porch and needs to talk to Einstein about a live in cleaning job.
2-Inciting Incident-New Way
Same
3-Page Ten -you know what the story is about- old way
Einstein has found his reason for living and everything around him has improved including his new live in friends Jenny and Dude. Anything is possible for all three characters
3-Page Ten – you know –
3-new way -Same
4-My first turning point-old way
A very rude neighbor Downer Gamelgard who has gambled his life away allows Einstein to challenge him and then help him.
4-New way – same
5-midpoint Old Way
In the living room Einstein gives Jen a dream quote and then asks her what her dream is ?
New way- here’s where I came up with some big structure change
5-New Way
Big Bear lake riding down slides on bob sleds racing down the mountain. Einstein says if I win you gotta tell me what your big dream is as they slide down. Hedgewood says what if I win ? Hedgewood wins race and back at condo says you need to be part of this big dream thing also and the Big dreams of both are shared and written down on the magic white board.
6-Second Turning point -old way
Dude starts a yard clean up business and has a few customers.
6- second turning point – new way
Einstein gets Dude to dream bigger and he takes a job on a sailboat for a month to sail to Maui. He sails in 30 days.
7-Crisis -old way
Hedgewood has one of here very nervous clumsy out of control moments in front of many friends and family.
7-crisis new way
Hedgewood has her crisis but after a talk Einstein takes her to what everyone has been calling Einstein’s crazy room. He reveals to Hedgewood what he has been working on for two years. “It’s a promise I’ve been working on “ he says. Einstein has recreated an island paradise in this large room for his first wife because when she was sick she could no longer travel. This room transforms into a couple of Jen’s dream places and then Einstein reveals his big dream of helping every homeless person.
8-climax old way
A game of bigger and better produces prizes and dollars for the big party
8- climax – new way
A game of bigger and better involves many movie stars and produces a hulabalou you are the greatest miracle party for the homeless.
9- Resolution-old way
Hedgewood and Einstein are married on the beach in Maui
9-resolution-new way
They are married on the beach in Maui and the writer Bob is sailing everyone. The grand dream love does it again business is revealed with a Home Depot size store devoted to helping every homeless person in San Diego.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by
Jeff Reynolds.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by
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Title. “Love Does It again”
Logline -Three abbeynormal people find love while creating something that changes the world and you are part of this heavenly caper.
A man who has been working on something in his home for two years and nothing else. He is a haired out grooming mess that eats fast food everyday. His community of friends are worried sick and his friend Stan gives him a book that changes everything. He has listened to a book a day for two years since losing his wife but this book turns on something in him. He sets off to meet the writer Bob and meets him on a skateboard in downtown San Diego. Einstein is his nickname and it’s only 2 pages into the screenplay when he says yes to life again. He says yes to Hedgewood, a beautiful cleaning lady who has a compulsive disorder so bad that she can’t hold a job or anything really. The next day Einstein heads to Home Depot and takes a homeless young man home along with his purchase of trash bags and goods he needs. He gives Dude a job for the day and if he succeeds a pool house room for him to stay on awhile. Einstein continues to work on what people are calling his crazy room while helping Hedgewood and Dude with their new life. Einstein dreams with both of them. One on a wall and one on a magical whiteboard. Friends are coming up with a grand celebration of Einstein coming back to life. In the process of creating businesses Einstein has a huge dream that gets everyone involved including you the audience. A game of bigger and better sets the stage for a huge party in the park. Old ways of doing things are changed forever and something great has begun.
What I learned? It’s pretty scary just throwing your idea out there in the world. Something tells me it will pay off and my script will improve.
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Hi everyone my name is Jeff Reynolds. I have written one screenplay and have rewritten it 20 times or that’s what I thought I was doing. Wordsmith is what I leaned in my profound screenplay class was what I have been practicing. I’m about to retire from my job at ATT that I have been at for 40 years. I have several stories that have been rolling around in my head and one in particular for 40 years. I’m praying this rewrite class will give me the tools to finish and hopefully sell my script. Strange or weird ? I once purchased a hairpiece to cover my very reseeding hairline in the hopes I would quit thinking about my hair. We’ll after purchasing one and loving it for about 2 days I pitched it in the trash after a week. All I thought about was my hair and it was driving me mad.
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Jeff Reynolds
I agree to the terms of the confidentiality agreement
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jeff’s profound map
Hedgewood
written by Jeff Reynolds
What is your profound truth?
Everyone can create positive change
What is the transformational journey?
old ways
I could never do something like that.
journey
one step at a time each character gives love a chance
new ways
Say yes when love comes your way
trransformational logline
a homeless looking man who has decided to give love a chance gives love to a near homeless woman and a young homeless man
Who are the lead characters
Einstein-Jen- Dude are all transformable characters
change agent
book
oppression
life,nasty neighbor,death.
How do you connect with your audience at beginning of movie?
Audience has all experienced homeless situations before in their own life and are excited to see something being done. likeability, intrigue ,empathy
emotional graidient
forced change
Dude is beat up and everything is stolen from him, Jen loses her job and has no place to go
How are the old ways challenged?
All characters are fed up with the past, its been horrible and its time to move on.
How are you presenting insights?
Through action and education, Conflicts, fights
Profound lines of the movie?
uggghhh My dad, yeah probably the worst person who has ever lived. here we go again
How do you leave us with a profound ending?
The three characters not only get their own lives going again they get every audience members life a kick start and they want to join the love caper themselves. The world can be changed for the better. Its a decision away
parting image
The journey has been long and hard, Welcome my friends.( doors opening)
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Jeff’s heights of emotion
1) dude looks like he’s going to jump off a bridge
2) jen is fired from her job
3) gamelgard is pushed to tell the truth
4) dude is reminded of his dad
5) dude doesn’t know how to dream
What I learned is it’s great to brainstorm and fun to come up with twenty ways to say something. One idea turns into another.
The line that I came up with that fits throughout the movie is”here we go again” very bad things are happening to each character at first and they all have a here we go again and seems hopeless. Then as we gain our footing here we go again takes on a whole new exciting meaning. We’ve all used this line before and it fits wonderfully in my story. I can see the audience saying this before the characters say it.
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Jeff delivers irony……I learned that irony is a big challenge for me. I thought it would come to me as I went through the assignment but having a challenge. It’s tricky to me.. I know it when I see it in movies but can’t really explain it. Opposite doesn’t do it ……
A loss that is really a win….
Dude knocks on door but gets a loud resounding get outta here.
Einstein asks him if he wants to quit but Dude rethinks it and attacks the customer differently
Its a lot of work but he turns it around and wins much bigger.
Insight
Dudes dad talked to him just like that customer did and dude chose to keep going.
no dreams to big dreams……
Dude says I don’t do dreams and you want me to dream big ?It’s all too much
insight
Dude never had dreams
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Jeff delivers insight through conflict.
What I learned from this assignment is a lot. There’s opportunities throughout my script for revealing insights. I feel a breakthrough has happened in my writing and I am so excited to see this and learn this.
A fight
Gamelgard is starting a fist fight and Einstein turns the fight into a game where gamelgard is forced to reveal his huge issue.
Stakes are raised
Jen gives possible customer a “I doubt it” shows her the filth that lurks in her home
Plan goes wrong
You are knocking on the wrong door dude. I don’t have money and don’t need your services. Don’t knock on my door again.
Later dude knocks on door and delivers insight.
Verbal abuse
Young boy gets an earful from someone who doesn’t want to be disturbed without saying anything this boy delivers insight into why he never talks to adults
I have a couple of these in story already but didn’t know what I was doing but looking through script there are dozens of opportunities.
L
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Jeff’s analysis of Seabisquit
What I learned is action can play a huge part in a profound moment of a movie. I love this movie and have it in my top 10. I’ve seen it probably 20 times.
Reds life changed when his father passed him off to the trainer. He loved his dad and family and was destroyed and became angry at everyone.
Coming in second by a nose and getting beat and punished.
Breaking his leg helping his first trainer took away the match race from him but what they didn’t say in the movie is he met his wife in the hospital. She was his nurse.
Jeff bridges when he lost his boy was very profound then his wife left him.
Jeff when he meets his trainer -Tom Smith you don’t go throwing something away cause it’s broken down a little bit. Still good for something.
Tom when he sees Seabisquit for the first time – looked right through me
The match race was profound the whole country got behind this exciting event Millions of people watched and biscuit was the underground
The ending was profound that horse won again and in reds words brought all three men together
These moments in the movie are life changing events and many are heart wrenching and the story is true. all four of the main characters were broken down but were all fighters and some miracle brought them all together for some magic profound life moments I always wanted Red to see his dad again in the movie
Assignment 2 Jeff turn insights into action
New ways
3 weirdos change the world
3 unlikely people come together to be each other’s hero
3angry individuals find life’s magic in one another
Action scenes -batting practice at petco
Homeless perspective from a young homeless man
Old western bar fight in a old hotel
A community game where everyone gets involved
I learned that action is a better way to add profound moments in my movies.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by
Jeff Reynolds.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by
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Jeff’s-living metaphor’s
Jen -hey Einstein why do you not yell at me like everyone else does ? I get on everyone’s nerves by doing my work the way I know how and it infuriates people.
Einstein-the people that yell and get upset at you are wrong. There’s something funny about people who want to control everyone, they keep thinking the same way about every situation and some how think their going to get a different result. Jen if you want my opinion you’ll ask for it.
Jen – think I should stop being a live in cleaning and care giver?
Einstein-you ever think about expanding what you do ? I would think about your whole business plan in new ways.
Einstein -ever hear of Tiger woods Dude ?
Dude- yep. Watched him hit at torre once on the range – I was on the other side of the fence. He hit by himself til it was dark.
Einstein-when he was learning golf his dad would take his ball from the middle of the fairway and chuck it in the rough behind some trees. His dad would say anyone can make par from the fairway. let’s make par from the rough. Why do you think his dad did that ?
Dude-give him something else?
Einstein- yep golf and life always having new things thrown at you. No matter who you are when you overcome adversity you gain …..what?
Dude – confidence
My story is about getting rid of the old self and looking at things with fresh eyes and mind. All three have been through tremendous difficulty the last three years. Story is about what happens next and Einstein encouraging them to look at life differently and by helping others Einstein begins to look at life differently himself.
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Day 10: Challenging Old Ways – Counterexamples
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</div><div>Jeff learned a lot from this lesson and had some fun coming up with dozens of counter examples.</div><div>All three of my main characters are having difficulty changing anything by themselves but you put them all together and magic happens. </div><div>Einstein old ways</div><div>-stuck in depression </div><div>-stuck in crazy room</div><div>-no to every invitation </div><div>-getting round and out of shape</div><div>-has let go of any kind of grooming</div><div>-grumpy old man</div><div>-too busy for anyone</div><div>-lousy friend</div><div>-changing the world is a million miles away</div><div>Counter Examples</div><div>-Stan gives him a book, tells him it might help</div><div>-Everyone keeps inviting him</div><div>-jen says I can help you with your food choices</div><div>-had enough of mr grumpy says Stan</div><div>-you can help me ,then I can help you</div><div>– there’s another way to look at it – it’s ok to be a little weird</div><div>-let’s eat that elephant one bite at a time</div><div>-say yes to life again</div><div>
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Jeff, What I learned from assisgnment 9, I never seen this movie before and loved it. Watched it twice and may watch again. On the surface its a simple movie filmed in two rooms and they must come to an agreement. I was a lone holdout in a jury once and learned a lot about human behavior that week. In the movie almost all the men were in a big hurry for some reason. Ball game, horrible heat, and didn’t like each other very much. At first they were looking at everything from a surface level, cut and dried guilty and had more important things to do……old way and new way usually came from Henry Fonda. Wasn’t he great? He looked deeper and said “I don’t know” an awful lot”. I was thinking right along with him. One at a time they gave us their old way of thinking and sometimes talked so much they proved their self’s wrong. They were all so determined about being right and how foolish it would be to think otherwise. One by one their old way at looking at the case was challenged and doubt arose. Some of the old ways, Racism, I’ve seen it a million times , No way to have another knife like that one. It gets to a point where ego’s are on the line and cruel statements are flying and at one point they about come to blows. I liked when the one juror said you need to respect your elders and he was ready to take him out. In my case that I was on I was very calm like Fonda. I had about six things I brought up right away. I was nervous at first but in the end we were a hung jury six to six. Turns out the man had been tried before and it was a hung jury.
Assignment 2
Old way new way with my story
I’ve learned a great deal from this assignment and will easily be able to add more depth to my story with this tool
Old way – I’m suppose to relax in retirement
New way – let’s put all that knowledge to good use
Old- there’s nothing I can do
New- there’s a whole world of things to do
Old- it’s never gonna change
New- everything changes
Old- they deserve the trouble there in
New – maybe not and even if it’s true it doesn’t matter you can help
Old-look at this guy- pathetic excuse for a human being
New- leave the judging to God you can help this person
I’m excited about adding these to my story and right from the beginning can add some very easily
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Jeff Reynolds.
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I learned so much from lesson 8. I stood on my desk and had a whole new outlook on the possibilities of my ending.
1 What is your Profound Truth and how will it be delivered powerfully in your ending?
Love works and the message will be delivered by every character at the end by revealing what they created.
2 How do your lead characters (Change Agent and Transformable Characters) come to an end in a way that represents the completed change?
They all overcome so much and in their own way triumphed over life’s difficulties.
3 What are the setup/payoffs that complete in the end of this movie, giving it deep meaning?
The dream big whiteboard is a setup for the end. The bigger and better game is a setup for the end. The island adventure is a setup for the end. Every character puts in the effort to make the ending so rewarding. Like winning the Super Bowl of life for characters and audience.
4 How are you designing it to have us see an inevitable ending and then making it surprising when it happens?
There are clues along the way but also characters challenges popping up gives you doubts.
5 What is the Parting Image/Line that leaves us with the Profound Truth in our minds?
There is a ball that’s in every seen of the movie that’s tossed to you the audience- get in the game it’s your turn – let’s play
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<div>Jeff’s connection with audience</div><div>What I learned with this assignment- there’s a number of ways to connect to your audience. </div><div>
</div>1-Tell us which characters you are going to INTENTIONALLY create a connection with the audience. <div>I have intentionally connected all three of the main characters to the audience. I have written a story that I would want to see. You are going to see yourself in everyone of these characters. You’ve been there or seen it before in your life.
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</div><div>2-With each character, tell us how you’ll use each of the four ways of connecting with the audience in the first 30 minutes of the movie.</div><div>Einstein has had a huge loss and has had a tough time getting his life back in order. Dude is at rock bottom. Jen is looking for a job. (Relatability)</div><div>What’s up with Einstein? Why do they call him Einstein? What’s he doing in the crazy room. Jen has mental issues but has something spot out her. What happened to dude ? Is he going to freak out on everyone? (Intrigued) Einstein has a sadness about him and has done nothing but the crazy room for 3 years. Jen is beautiful but has some big mental challenges and can’t get outta her own way. Dude is homeless(empathy) Einstein is a good ball player and gets on the field at pet o. He’s liked by nearly everyone. He’s funny and silly and brilliant. Jen is a great worker and can stand up for herself. She’s kind and funny and has a beautiful energy. Dude is good to his dog. He’s been through enough and you root for him. He’s pretty positive and decides to say yes to life again. </div><div>
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Jeff’s three gradients- The Desired change.
What I learned from this assignment is a lot. I have the action in my story but I didn’t show the emotion in my three characters. All three main characters and a couple others are going through desired change.
Excitement-Einstein is on his way again and shows us by making positive changes. Dude is afraid to talk to people but gives it a go and has tremendous excitement after hitting his low point just the day before. Jen is excited about a new opportunity.
Doubt- Dude stumbles with his words and forgets what he wants to say. Jen says this is all too perfect and she thinks the real Jen will pop up and be angry.
Hope- Dude has a goal and sets out. Jen has a dream and starts. Einstein is thinking Big.
Discouragement- Someone makes fun of Dude and he fails, Jen has a breakdown and fears she will never change. Einstein has trouble finishing up his big crazy room.
Courage- Dude has a business idea and has the perfect sales pitch to a possible customer. Jen has started reaching out to new clients and has a big dream. Einstein is involved in dude and Jens startups and develops a huge dream of his own.
Triumph- 6 months later the lives of all three characters do not look the same. They do not look the same, act the same, or behave the same. Working together changes all three of their lives and all three have a huge dream that the audience will participate in……..
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Jeff’s Characters
Transformational journey logline-
A homeless looking Einstein, A near homeless Jen and a homeless Dude find each other to form a unique partnership that changes the world.
The change agent-
Einstein character is the change agent who used to give everything he had to everyone around him and was very good at it. He was the personal coach before there were personal coaches.
Transformational Characters
Jen – has been fired a hundred times and this could be her last chance and she realizes that.
Dude- has had very little guidance his whole existence and thinks he has wasted his life. He has been praying for something.
Community- everyone Misses Einstein’s ways of doing things. His excitement and knowledge gives them joy.
The Oppression
Homelessness, the drugs, Government, parents, choices,
The betrayal character-
Downer Gamelgard is the negative nasty and very unhappy used to be best friend that lives next door. Says things like. You are such a waste Einstein. always in your house doing nothing and now wasting more time with loser kids.
4B-Dead Poets Society
1-what is the change, transformational journey?
Growth as an individual, seize the day and don’t be afraid to look at everything differently. Journey is about the endless possibilities.
we are all capable of so much more than our mind believes.
2- who is the change agent?
Their teacher Keating. Perry,Anderson, overstreet,Meeks.Pitts, and Dalton are all transformable characters. Neil’s dad is the oppressor along with school admin.
3-what causes us to connect?
Keating has stirred up something in all of us. To think bigger and be open for the possibilities of life.
4-character that changed the most ?
Neil Perry and Todd Anderson both make dramatic change. Neil goes for it all with his part in the play even though he knows his dad will go crazy. Todd comes out of his fear shell and blossoms. I love the scene when he chucks the desk set.
5-Gradient change?
Students start out thinking Keating is out there or weird then comes funny and trust. They go all in and love everything about him.
6-old way challenged ?
School is very rigid and strict in every way. Characters challenge with the dead poets society in the cave , girls, speaking up and ultimately standing up for Keating.
7- most profound moments?
Todd speaking in front of class, all the boys walking across desk to gain a new perspective, and Neal joining play and risking everything with his my way or the highway dad.
8-profound lines?
“Rip it out” “ oh captain my captain”
“Carpe diem, seize the day “”boys make your life extraordinary “
“I stand on my desk to remind myself to constantly look at things in a different way” “I always though the idea of education was to learn to think for yourself “
9-how does the ending payoff the setup ?
Pressure was building in every scene and you knew something bad was about to happen.
10- the profound truth ?
Your actions have consequences and Neil’s father was all about himself. He wanted a doctor for a son and that’s all that mattered to him. Ultimately I don’t like the ending. Yes it was very dramatic and painful and Hollywood loves a good death at the end but there was a choice here. A clear choice to write a letter to his dad about thinking of killing himself and then hitting the road.
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Jeff Reynolds.
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Jeff Reynolds.
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What I learned from this assignment is I have just scratched the surface of my screenplay education. Thank you Cheryl and Hal for doing what you do. I’m excited about where these classes will take me.
A distraught disheveled Einstein learns that life must go on after being grief stricken for 3 years. Inspired and filled with hope after reading a book, he says yes to meet a near homeless woman and a homeless young man. When love is given a chance the possibilities of something bigger and better happening for everyone skyrockets.
Old ways – Einstein doesn’t live life outside of his house anymore. He’s spends most of his time in his secret room.
New ways- Einstein comes back to the living to gives life everything he’s got.-
This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by
Jeff Reynolds.
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Jeff Reynolds.
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HEDGEWOOD
First three decisions-
1. What is your profound truth?
Love is an active experience.
2. What is the change your movie will cause with an audience?
I can make a difference
3. What is your Entertainment Vehicle that you will tell this story through?
Paradise on the main land- San Diego California and big events and neighborhood community.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by
Jeff Reynolds.
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Jeff Reynolds.
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What I learned doing this assignment – I used to say to friends that Groundhog Day is a top ten movie for me. They always laugh, top ten? Are you kidding? That movie drives me crazy. It’s goofy and goes on and on. To me Groundhog Day is about changing your life until you get it right. I believe it takes Phil 5,000-10,000 days in this movie to win over the girl of his dreams. Lead character is Phil Conners and he’s funny and entertaining and the right character for change because he is a miserable bitter old man at the beginning and has so much room for growth. That’s his old way and his new way is everyone’s friend. Gradient change is going from trying to explain everything to Rita and then giving up and killing himself several times. Goes from Stealing money, Eating everything, Sex and marriage proposal, Rude to everyone and barely giving an effort at work to being the nicest guy with all the time in the world. What gets him going is the girl. He fell in love with Rita and who wouldn’t, right? She’s spectacular and she describes her perfect guy. Too humble to know he’s perfect, Romantic, courageous, good body, kind, sensitive, gentle, can cry, loves children and changes poopy diapers. Plays an instrument……..Phil sets out to be all of those and more one day at a time. Rita says maybe it’s not a curse Phil. It’s how you look at it. That’s when it hits him. We connect with Phil because everyone of us at one time or another has goals and desires to be better. Some of my favorite lines. “Six months and four to five hours a day and you’d be an expert. Come on be the hat Rita” “well what if there is no tomorrow, there wasn’t one today” ” I know all about you Rita, you like producing but you hope for more. You like boats but not the ocean. You go to the lake with your family in the summer, sucker for french pastry and rhinestones. Very generous, kind to strangers and children and when you stand in the snow you look like an angel”. The profound truth of this movie is that you can do what Phil does. Be good to everyone, listen, love, give, be fun and save a life or two. Turn your life from miserable to great. Do this and goodness comes back to you a hundred times over.
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Hi everyone, my name is Jeff Reynolds.
I have written one script and I hope to make it more profound by taking this class. I have another story that I have been working on for forty years and hope to write after I retire from 40 years at A T and T.
Something unusual? I took about 6 years of mandarin Chinese starting in the 7th grade. Wei wei ,Ni hau ma? Hen hau syshe. That’s about all I have left.
Nice to meet everyone. Looks like I’m the rookie…………..
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Jeff Reynolds.
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Jeff Reynolds.
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Jeff Reynolds.
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Jeff Reynolds
I agreed to the terms of this release form
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
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Jeff Reynolds.
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Hey Mary, haven’t seen your assignments and hoping you are okay.
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Hi Mary. Wondering if you would like to partner up? I love your story and time travel movies have always been on my watch list. I have started one of my own after reading a Tom Hanks short story in his book uncommon type. Will you be teaching us some history in your story ? I will have to brush up on my knowledge of the American Revolution. Jeff
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Thank you Mary and so happy you replied to my assignment. Looking at the page 10 again I can see where your confusion is coming from. Einstein Hedgewood and Dude all had a tough 3 years and now it’s time to start living a better life. Do you ever watch a movie and after it ends wonder what happens next ? You’ve been through the loss and pain and now what ? We’ll my story is about what’s next.
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How many pages do you have so far?
The core aspects are –
-A child Hannah has a baking family with a baking history.
– she finds the secrets of time travel
– she decides to go back to 1777
– she meets a Lydia a relative and they hatch a plan
-the poison plan is not well thought out and Lydia
Is poisoned but a remedy is found
– they foil the plans with food fights
– Hannah comes back to the future and feels she has gained some wisdom
Looking forward to seeing your 9 steps in the next assignment