Jenna Ryan
Forum Replies Created
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Jenna’s Query Letter – Draft II (thanks for your helpful feedback on Draft I, Richard).
Hi ____,
I have the next SIXTEEN CANDLES, with Asian representation.
Title: STEALING BUDDHA’S DINNER (based on the Chicago Tribune “Best Book of the Year” by Bich Minh Nguyen)
Genre: Comedy
Bich Nguyen survived the fall of Saigon. Now she has to survive high school in America.
Bich’s plan? Beg, borrow, or steal the 80’s junk food, fashion, and music approved by 10/10 teens.
High school’s biggest night is almost here, and Bich needs a hail-Mary to make herself over into a normal American teen in time for the school dance. Asia’s biggest night is coming up too, and Bich’s dad needs to regain his Asian cred he lost when he came to America.
His plan? Beg, borrow, or steal to throw the wildest Lunar New Year party ever.
When a fire breaks out at Bich’s high school dance, and no one shows up at her dad’s party, for one night only can Bich and her dad join forces to “Make Asia Great Again?”
I’d be happy to send you the script if you like the concept.
All best,
Jenna Finwall Ryan
BIO: Jenna is an optioned screenwriter and has a Ph.D. in psychology. She did her doctoral internship at the FOX series LIE TO ME. While working in TV as a researcher, Jenna’s scripts have been finalists in contests like Script Pipeline and Scriptapalooza.
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What I learned doing this assignment is that your query letter is a combo of your strongest COM and MIT, written almost entirely as hooks. Every sentence or phrase must be interesting to compel the reader to request the script. Here’s my Draft 1. I’m open to your feedback.
Hi ____,
Would you let your whole high school meet your awkward Asian family if it would save the school dance?
Title: STEALING BUDDHA’S DINNER
Genre: Comedy based on a Chicago Tribune “Best Book of the Year” I control the rights to
“SIXTEEN CANDLES, with Asian representation”
Hooray! Bich Nguyen escaped Vietnam seconds before the fall of Saigon! Uh-oh. Now she has to survive high school in America…
Bich’s plan? Beg, borrow, or steal the 80’s junk food, fashion, and music approved by 10/10 teens.
Meanwhile, Bich’s classmates are making her life a living hell. Even her dad and new step-mom Rosa are out to get her! Rosa’s masterminding a tone-deaf Asian heritage assembly at Bich’s school. Her dad’s Lunar New Year party is the same night as the school dance, and Bich’s attendance is mandatory. Just when things couldn’t get worse, Bich’s estranged mom shows up stateside with tons of questions about the night Bich fled Vietnam. Awkward!
Everything’s coming up “Asian” and Bich just wants her MTV!
When the truth comes out about her family’s escape, and a fire in the cafeteria threatens the school dance, Bich’s faced with the biggest decisions of her American teenage life:
Protect her sister from the reason their mom got left behind? Let the school dance crash her dad’s Asian party and let her freak flag fly?
For one night only, can Bich “Make Asia Great Again?”
I’d be happy to send you the script if you like the concept.
All best,
Jenna Finwall Ryan
BIO: Jenna is an optioned screenwriter and has a Ph.D. in psychology. She did her doctoral internship at the FOX series LIE TO ME. While working in TV as a researcher, Jenna’s scripts have been finalists in contests like Script Pipeline and Scriptapalooza.
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What I learned doing this assignment is that I don’t have to pay $2500 for a studio database to access contact information for producers; IMDBpro has most of it. I also learned that I haven’t “exhausted the market” just yet based on Hal’s comprehensive method for building a list of producers to target. Also, if you’re pitching to a Drama producer, then you have a “Drama” script. If you’re pitching to a Comedy producer, then you have a “Comedy” script. Pitching my script as a “Dramatic comedy” (which I had been doing before) could be a hard sell because it’s two genres essentially. Response rate to query emails can average as low as 5-7% (I’m 0 for 50 this week). Snail mail might stand out since it’s not used as much anymore. Otherwise, I might have to psych myself up to (gasp) pitch by phone.
Logline: Based on the timely Chicago Tribune “Best Book of the Year,” STEALING BUDDHA’S DINNER tells the comedic mostly-true story of an Asian refugee who’s trying to survive high school in the awesome 80’s. Through junk food and pop culture, it chronicles an awkward yellow girl’s quest to become a normal American teen when the kids are all white.
Genre: Comedy
Similar movies:
BOOKSMART
THE FAREWELL
MID90S
EIGHTH GRADE
THE WAY WAY BACK
THE DIARY OF A TEENAGE GIRL
SUPERBAD
THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER
ME AND EARL AND THE DYING GIRL
THE DUFF
(I’ll spare everyone the deep-dive I did on each movie and their lists of producers)
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What I learned doing this assignment is what to say and expect when making a phone pitch.
(Lead with credibility)
Hi, I’m Jenna and I’m an optioned screenwriter. I have the rights to a Chicago Tribune “Best Book of the Year.” Can I pitch my screenplay adaptation of it super quick?
(If “yes”, then)
Thanks! STEALING BUDDHA’S DINNER is an 80’s comedy in the vein of SIXTEEN CANDLES, but with Asian representation. Let me ask you this: would you let your whole high school meet your awkward Asian family if it would save the school dance?
(What’s the budget range?) Low budget, less than $5 million.
(Who do you see in the main roles?) For the teen protagonist, someone like Lana Condor or Disney star Madison Hu. For her dad, someone like Ken Jeong. For her step-mom, someone like Sofia Vergara.
(How many pages is the script?) A cool 99.
(Who else has seen this?) It was previously optioned by –, but that option has expired. After that, – offered to option it, but I declined. I’m holding out for someone who really gets this project and can take this ride.
(Why do you think this fits our company?) Because you’ve had success with indie films that have universal appeal; because you produce movies that celebrate diverse voices and stories; because you’ve produced comedies in this budget range, etc.
(How does the movie end?) When a fire in the cafeteria breaks out, Bich lets her entire high school crash her dad’s Lunar New Year party and lets her freak flag fly. Previously obsessed with becoming American, Bich decides to “Make Asia Great Again.”
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Hi, I’m Jenna. I’m an optioned screenwriter and control the rights to a Chicago Tribune “Best Book of the Year.” Today, I have the Dramatic Comedy adaptation of that memoir, STEALING BUDDHA’S DINNER. (Light pause). Let me ask you this: would you let your whole high school meet your awkward Asian family if it would save the school dance? (Pause for questions or script request).
“What is the budget range?” Low budget, less than $5 million.
“What actors do you like for the lead roles?”
For Bich: someone like Lana Condor, or Disney star Madison Hu
For Bich’s dad: someone like Ken Jeong
For Bich’s step-mom Rosa: someone like Sofia Vergara
“Give me the acts of the story.”
Act one: Flash back to Bich’s family’s narrow escape from Vietnam after the fall of Saigon. Five years later, American high school feels like being a refugee all over again, but worse—the kids are all white.
Act two: Bich’s plan? Beg, borrow, or steal the 80’s junk food, fashion, and music approved by 10/10 of the American teens who are making her life a living hell.
Act three: After a fire in the cafeteria, Bich has the power to save the school dance. Will she let her entire high school crash her dad’s Lunar New Year party and let her freak flag fly?
How does it end? (setup/payoff) After desperately trying to hide her heritage, on her high school’s biggest night of the year, Bich does the impossible and is able to “Make Asia Great Again.” And get to first base.
Credibility questions / “What have you done?”
I did my research internship for my Ph.D. in psychology at the FOX series LIE TO ME. While working as a researcher in TV, my scripts have been finalists in contests like Script Pipeline and Scriptapalooza. Previously optioned, STEALING BUDDHA’S DINNER is now available again.
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What I learned doing this assignment is to keep honing my query letter until it’s exciting and worthy of a script request.
Jenna’s Query Letter
*****
Hi ______,
Would you let your entire high school meet your awkward Asian family if it would save the school dance?
Title: STEALING BUDDHA’S DINNER
Genre: Dramedy adaptation based on a Chicago Tribune “Best Book of the Year” I have the rights to.
Hooray! Bich Nguyen escaped Vietnam seconds before the fall of Saigon! Uh-oh. Now she has to survive high school in America…
For a natural-born nerd raised on her grandma’s pho and a closet full of ao dais, Bich finally has a chance at the American dream: Hamburger Helper, designer duds, and Top 40 radio. Except her new step-mom Rosa forbids all of it.
Bich’s plan? Beg, borrow, or steal the junk food, fashion, and music approved by 10/10 of her fellow teens.
Meanwhile, Bich’s classmates are making her life a living hell. Even her dad and Rosa are out to get her! Rosa’s masterminding a tone-deaf Asian heritage assembly at Bich’s school. Her dad’s throwing a mandatory Asian holiday bash the same night as the school dance. And her estranged mom just showed up stateside with tons of questions about the night Bich fled Saigon. Awkward!
Everything’s coming up “Asian” and Bich just wants her MTV!
When the truth comes out about her family’s escape, and a fire in the cafeteria threatens the school dance, Bich’s faced with the biggest decisions of her American teenage life:
Protect her sister from the reason their mom was left behind? Watch her classmates’ dreams of steady lip gloss and making out burn to the ground…or let them all in to her dad’s Lunar New Year party and let her freak flag fly?
For one night only, can Bich “Make Asia Great Again?”
I’d be happy to send you the script if you like the concept, and want to take part in the recent rise/trend in Asian representation in film.
All best,
Jenna Finwall Ryan
BIO: Jenna is an optioned screenwriter and has a Ph.D. in psychology. She did her doctoral internship at the FOX series “Lie to Me.” While working as a researcher in TV, her scripts have placed in contests like Script Pipeline and Scriptapalooza.
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What I learned from doing this assignment is that a successful synopsis is built almost entirely on hooks, and to think of my script in terms of these hooks when pitching. Then, I need to make sure I deliver on those hooks in my script, and the hooks will inform my re-write.
Lesson 6: Turning Hooks Into A Great Synopsis
(Hooks from COM):
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; color: var(–bb-body-text-color); background-color: var(–bb-content-background-color);”>Great Title: STEALING BUDDHA’S DINNER
True Story: Y
Timely: Trend/rise in Asian representation in film; diverse cast
Wide Audience Appeal: Written for a Teen / YA audience
Adapted From a Popular Book: A Chicago Tribune “Best Book of the Year” that I have the rights to
(Hooks from MIT):
What is most interesting about your villain and hero? Both are “God-fearing” teens…they just believe in different gods. Bich is a Vietnamese refugee trying to survive high school during the 80’s in the U.S.
Any turning points? Jennifer turns on Bich when Jennifer doesn’t get the lead role in her wackadoodle church play. Bich’s new step-mom broadcasts Bich’s Asian identity in a tone-deaf school assembly. Bich’s dad steals her money so he can throw a party to impress his Asian community. Bich’s estranged mother they left behind in Vietnam turns up in the U.S.
Emotional dilemma? Bich must choose between her Asian identity and her American identity.
Major twists? Bich’s dad’s Lunar New Year party becomes the last-minute venue for the school dance.
Character betrayals? Jennifer betrays Bich; Bich’s father betrays Bich (steals her money).
Surprises? School dance is saved by Bich’s awkward Asian family’s Lunar New Year party (with Bich’s money she hoped to buy a trendy American jacket with).
*****
Hooray! Bich and her family escaped Vietnam seconds before the fall of Saigon! But how will she survive high school in America without the 80’s junk food, music, and fashion approved by 10/10 teens?
Bich makes a deal with the devil—who goes by the name of Jennifer—to score her favorite American food. Meanwhile Bich’s saving up for a designer jean jacket that will skyrocket her to the fashion hall of fame. And with the school dance coming up, she’ll be twerking to the entire American Top 40—preferably with her crush.
Uh-oh! Jennifer “outs” Bich as a heathen Buddhist when she can’t help Jennifer land the lead in her wacky church play. Bich’s feisty new step-mom masterminds a tone-deaf “Tet” assembly at her high school starring Bich. Her father steals her jacket money to fund a wild party the night of the school dance. And Bich’s estranged mother just showed up stateside. Everything’s coming up “Asian” and Bich just wants her MTV!
Wtf? “Lunar New Year” isn’t the theme the high school dance committee picked, but it’s the one they’ll get when the dance is forced to relocate to Bich’s father’s party.
Can Bich and her awkward Asian family “Make Asia Great Again?”
STEALING BUDDHA’S DINNER is a mostly-true story based on a Chicago Tribune “Best Book of the Year” I control the rights to. At once funny and sad, and both universal and specific, it’s SIXTEEN CANDLES but with a diverse cast that celebrates the recent rise in Asian representation in film.
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What I learned doing Assignment #5 (via email) is the difference between a High Concept and Elevator Pitch, and how to be casual (not desperate) when making an Elevator Pitch.
High Concept: Would you let your whole high school meet your awkward Asian family if it would save the school dance?
Elevator Pitch: “I’m adapting a Chicago Tribune ‘Best Book of the Year’ about an Asian refugee trying to survive American high school in the awesome 80’s.”
(maybe then they’ll ask “which book?” and start a conversation about STEALING BUDDHA’S DINNER)
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(JENNA) What I learned most from this assignment is to think of my script in a whole new way (with my “business hat” on).
“10 Most Interesting Things” about my script STEALING BUDDHA’S DINNER:
<b style=”background-color: var(–bb-content-background-color); font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; color: var(–bb-body-text-color);”>A. What is most unique about your villain and hero?
Both are “God-fearing”… they just believe in different gods.
They’re polar opposites living 10 feet apart.
They both need and hate each other.
B. Major hook of your opening scene?
Protagonist is caught casing villain’s picture-perfect bedroom.
C. Any turning points?
Estranged mother resurfaces in America.
Protagonist’s Asian role model/ally defects to the popular American girls.
Protagonist’s sister takes the blame for destroying villain’s bedroom.
D. Emotional dilemma?
Protagonist must choose between Asian vs. American identity.
E. Major twists?
Christian villain enlists heathen protagonist to help nail role in her church’s play.
Protagonist’s embarrassing Asian party becomes unlikely last-minute venue for the school dance.
F. Reversals?
Step-mom sets protagonist up for social suicide, then rescues her from it.
G. Character betrayals?
Loyal sister dumps protagonist for cool new step-sister.
Dad steals protagonist’s money to host a party that will regain his stature in the Asian community.
Step-sister’s boyfriend dumps her when she’s grounded from the school dance and won’t be able to put out.
H. Any big surprises?
The sister who yearns most for their estranged mother is the “reason” their mother got left behind in Vietnam.
Step-mom’s intentions to keep protagonist’s heritage alive are born from consequences of renouncing her own heritage.
The school dance is saved by Asian underdog/protagonist’s dad’s party (with her money that he stole).
Other things that could interest a producer?
STEALING BUDDHA’S DINNER is the next SIXTEEN CANDLES, but with Asian representation.
SIXTEEN CANDLES had a budget of $6.5 million and grossed $24 million.
Teen movies generate big audiences.
STEALING BUDDHA’S DINNER is based on a funny and harrowing Chicago Tribune “Best Book of the Year” true story, which I control the rights to.
It has great roles for bankable actors:
Bich: nerdy fish-out-of-water Asian protagonist
Jennifer: holier-than-thou drama queen/villain
Rosa: headstrong Hispanic step-mom and activist
Anh: protagonist’s loyal/protective older sister
Crissy: cool/street-smart step-sister
Mr. Nguyen: complex/charismatic father
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(JENNA) How I will present myself and project to a manager:
Hi, I’m Jenna. I control the rights to a Chicago Tribune “Best Book of the Year” and have written its marketable adaptation. STEALING BUDDHA’S DINNER tells the true story of an Asian refugee who’s trying to survive high school in the Midwest during the awesome 80’s. It’s a timely dramedy celebrating Asian representation and the universal quest for belonging, set against the backdrop of your favorite junk food and 80’s jams.
I also have a marketable sports comedy in the vein of TALLADEGA NIGHTS and BLADES OF GLORY. My unique background as a psychology Ph.D. makes me a strong candidate for paid writing assignments in cerebral TV series and film. I can’t help but get inside characters’ heads, even when I don’t want to. This blessing and curse is a great asset to writers rooms because I can pick up characters faster than you can say “Oedipus Complex.”
Please let me know if you’d like to read one of my features, or learn more about my writing.
****
How I will present myself and project to a producer:
Hi, I’m Jenna. I have the next SIXTEEN CANDLES, but with Asian representation. Adapted from a Chicago Tribune “Best Book of the Year” which I control the rights to, STEALING BUDDHA’S DINNER tells Bich Minh Nguyen’s harrowing true story of how she survived high school as an Asian immigrant in the Midwest during the awesome 80’s. Through junk food and pop culture, it chronicles an awkward yellow girl’s quest to become a normal American teen when the kids are all white.
Please let me know when you’re ready to see the one-sheet and script, and take a ride with a bad-ass Bich.
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In this lesson, I learned that I have some strong Components of Marketability, but could highlight them more strongly in my pitch.
(CURRENT LOGLINE):
Based on Bich Minh Nguyen’s award-winning coming-of-age memoir, STEALING BUDDHA’S DINNER is a dramatic comedy about an Asian refugee who’s trying to survive high school in the Midwest during the awesome 80’s. Through junk food and pop culture, it chronicles an awkward yellow girl’s quest to become a normal American teen when the kids are all white.
Components: “Great title;” “True story;” “Timely;” “Adapted from a popular book”
(NEW LOGLINE):
Based on the timely Chicago Tribune “Best Book of the Year,” STEALING BUDDHA’S DINNER tells the dramatic and comedic true story of an Asian refugee as she tries to survive high school in the Midwest during the awesome 80’s. Through junk food and pop culture, it chronicles an awkward yellow girl’s quest to become a normal American teen when the kids are all white.
I could try (again!) pitching it to producers who have had success with diverse, true story adaptations.
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STEALING BUDDHA’S DINNER (dramedy; marketing to producers who have relationships at studios/streamers)
Based on Bich Minh Nguyen’s award-winning coming-of-age memoir, STEALING BUDDHA’S DINNER is a dramatic comedy about an Asian refugee who’s trying to survive high school in the Midwest during the awesome 80’s. Through junk food and pop culture, it chronicles an awkward yellow girl’s quest to become a normal American teen when the kids are all white.
What I learned today is alternative ways of thinking about “rejection” and tips for staying empowered.
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Jenna Ryan
I agree to the terms of this release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
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Hi, I’m Jenna. I’ve written 3 features (including an adaptation), 3 pilots, and countless TV specs. I was lucky to have had a manager take my 2 recent features out two years ago, but we didn’t find them a home. I turned down an option, which I now regret. On my own, I’ve probably sent 1,000 queries for my adaptation which was a Chicago Tribune “Best Book of the Year” (not New York Times, sorry). And yes, I legally optioned the book with my own financial resources. 🙂 It is a very timely topic with roles for a diverse cast, so I must be missing something. I’m hoping this class will help me hone my pitch and improve my query letters, and ultimately end up with a sale/option! This introvert is open-minded and excited to be here! Thank you!
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That’s a great idea! Unfortunately the book award was from 2007. Re: “timely,” I was referring to the increased and long-overdue Asian representation we’ve been seeing lately in the film landscape. Maybe “topical” is a better word? Thanks for your feedback! Every little bit helps! 🙂