Forum Replies Created

  • Joan Dougherty

    Member
    May 26, 2023 at 10:36 pm in reply to: Lesson 1

    Joan Dougherty

    Over the Edge, a work of magic realism, is about the stories we tell, don’t tell, or try to keep others from telling. In it, Tiago, a jail keeper in a small rural jail tries to keep Sofia, a returning childhood friend, from telling their shared story and revealing the shame he has carried for decades. He arrests her to keep her silent. As he closes the door to her cell, she begins to unlock the door to his.

  • Joan Dougherty

    Member
    May 26, 2023 at 10:30 pm in reply to: Introduce Yourself to the Group

    Joan Dougherty

    My name is Joan Dougherty, and I live in Canada, my adopted home. I’ve taken many ScreenwritingU courses over the past few years but have only one script to bring to this Rewrite class. It’s an unusual story that merges fantasy and drama and is perhaps better described as a work of magic realisim. I wouldn’t have gotten to this stage without the courses I’ve taken from ScreenwritingU and have chosen to take this course so I can benefit from being a member of a writing community again. I’m hoping that, by its end, I will have a script that is improved, polished and ready to take out into the world.

  • Joan Dougherty

    Member
    May 26, 2023 at 9:55 pm in reply to: Confidentiality Agreement

    I, Joan Dougherty, agree to the terms of this release form.

    GROUP RELEASE FORM

    As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

    1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

    2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

    I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

    3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

    4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

    5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

    6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

  • Joan Dougherty

    Member
    July 18, 2021 at 5:23 pm in reply to: Day 10 Assignment

    Title: OVER THE EDGE

    Written by Joan Dougherty

    Genre: Drama / Fantasy

    What lengths will someone go to keep a secret safe?

    Tiago’s so desperate that he arrests a visiting storyteller, once a childhood friend, to keep her silent.

    And once Sofia’s locked inside, Tiago thinks he’s finally safe. How wrong could he be?

    She uses her wits as a storyteller to wrest control away from him and brings into her cell characters from a tale told at the opening. They wreak havoc on his life and his ability to suppress the truth.

    How can he survive?

    Forced to return to the past and the place where his secret began, he tells his story of childhood trauma and his failure to protect his friend. Shattered but relieved, he’s then ready to go over the edge into the heart of the human story to be renewed.

    If you like the concept, I’d be happy to send you the script.

    Sincerely,

    Joan Dougherty

    BIO: Joan is a writer with a lifelong interest in storytelling who’s recently made the transition from print to film with the help of courses from Screenwriting U. She’s written a screenplay that uses what she’s learned in a short feature.

    Contact info:

    Phone:

    Email:

  • Joan Dougherty

    Member
    July 17, 2021 at 9:54 pm in reply to: Day 9 Assignment

    Joan’s Phone Pitch

    What I learned from this lesson is how to keep pruning.

    I will lead with my title.

    Over the Edge is the name of my script, which is not, as it seems, about desperation but redemption.

    Budget range: $1 million to 5 million

    Actors: character actors between 35 and 40 years of age

    Length of script: 38 pages

    Others who have seen it: jurors in several competitions and SU colleagues

    Ending: once the protagonist tells his story, goes over the edge to join the human story, he re-emerges to find village members welcoming him back into the community.

  • Joan Dougherty

    Member
    July 17, 2021 at 5:49 pm in reply to: Day 8 Assignment

    Joan’s Pitch Fest Pitch

    What I learned by doing this lesson is how to compress the details.

    Hi, my name is Joan Dougherty, and I’m a relatively new screenwriter.

    Last year my script, Over the Edge, made it to the quarterfinals of the WeScreenplay Shorts Contest and received a “Consider” by a judge at a competition run by The Script Lab.

    Over the Edge is 40-minute short that combines realism and fantasy. It’s about what happens when a repressed story is finally told and the teller freed of the agony of keeping it secret. The answer is that he goes over the edge to become part of the human story.

    In the first act, this jailer in a small remote village arrests a visiting storyteller to keep her from telling their shared secret.

    In the second act, she transforms the jail to force his return to the past.

    In the third act, he returns to the woods where the secret began, tells his story and goes over the edge. At daybreak, he goes back over the edge to be welcomed back into the fold by members of the community.

    I suspect this film could be made with a budget of $5 about million with character actors between the ages fo 35 and 40.

    I’d be happy to send you my script.

  • Joan Dougherty

    Member
    July 17, 2021 at 4:27 pm in reply to: Day 7 Assignment

    Joan Dougherty’s query letter

    Title: OVER THE EDGE

    Written by Joan Dougherty

    Genre: Drama / Fantasy

    What lengths will someone go to keep a secret safe?

    Tiago’s so desperate that he arrests a visiting storyteller, a childhood friend, to keep her silent.

    And once Sofia’s locked inside, Tiago thinks he’s finally safe. How wrong could he be?

    She uses her wits as a storyteller to wrest control away from him and brings into her cell characters from a tale told at the opening. They wreak havoc on his life and his ability to suppress the truth.

    How can he survive?

    Forced to return to the past and the place where his secret began, he tells his story of childhood trauma and his failure to protect his friend. Shattered but relieved, he’s then ready to go over the edge into the heart of the human story to be renewed.

    If you like the concept, I’d be happy to send you the script.

    Sincerely,

    Joan Dougherty

    BIO: Joan is a writer with a lifelong interest in storytelling who’s made the transition from print to film. Last year, Over the Edge reached the quarterfinals of the WeScreenplay Shorts contest and this year was given a “Consider” at The Script Lab’s Free Screenplay Contest.

    Contact info:

    Email:

    Phone:

  • Joan Dougherty

    Member
    July 17, 2021 at 4:22 pm in reply to: Day 6 Assignment

    Joan Dougherty’s Synopsis Hooks

    What I learned from doing this assignment is that the material it’s based on, created during a heat wave, is not very good. I’ve moved past it with this version. COM and MOT are identified in context.

    What happens when someone desperate to keep his secret safe jails a visiting storyteller, once a childhood friend, to keep her from revealing it? [emotional drama]

    Shades of Me Too and Black Lives Matter appear in Over the Edge, a unique script about stories told, withheld or suppressed. [timely]

    Framing the film script is another story—a poem, myth or parable—that guides the unrolling of the action and underlines the transformative power of storytelling. It is told over a shot of a young boy running for his life through a wooded area. [opening with a hook]

    Before long, one of the characters of this frame tale enters the jail and helps the storyteller wreck havoc on the jail keeper’s life and his ability to suppress the truth. [major twist]

    Whether a figment of the storyteller’s imagination or an actor independent of her control, this character leads him to the place where his secret began and encourages him to tell it. When he does so, Tiago is both shattered and relieved. In the words of the frame tale, he is ready to go over the edge of the world’s rim to be renewed by story because he’s now willing to tell his own. [reversal]

    When the sun pries open the sky, thus widening the clamshell of day that had closed overnight, he walks back over the edge to find those he had wronged waiting for him. They welcome him back to the community. [big surprise]

    Telling a personal story to overcome personal trauma is not new, but entering a world of stories that daily renew one’s spirit is. It is found over the edge. [marketing component]

  • Joan Dougherty

    Member
    July 2, 2021 at 6:16 pm in reply to: Day 5 Assignment

    Joan’s High Concept/Elevator Pitch

    What I learned doing this assignment is how to simplify the pitch.

    Big picture explanation of my lead character’s journey

    A jail guard in a rural village arrests a childhood friend, just returned after a long absence, to keep her from telling their shared story. Once inside, she uses her wits as a storyteller to force his return to the past and to the story he needs to tell.

    Telling the story in the most interesting way

    Goal/unique opposition

    Elevator Pitch

    I’m currently revising a script about what happens when stories long buried begin to surface.

    High Concept

    How does a young man keep his secret safe when someone who knows it returns to the village?

  • Joan Dougherty

    Member
    July 2, 2021 at 6:13 pm in reply to: Day 4 Assignment

    Joan’s 10 Most Interesting Things

    What I learned in doing this assignment is to be more descriptive than analytical.

    My list:

    Major hook in opening scene: a glimpse of a child running for his life through the woods without any clue as to why

    Character betrayal starts early when Tiago rejects a childhood friendship to punish Sofia, now returned after a long absence, to protect himself.

    Turning point: Tiago, the local jail keeper, arrests Sofia, a storyteller, to keep her from telling their shared story. That’s not the reason he gives for the arrest however.

    Emotional dilemma: Tiago reacts badly to the community pressure to let Sofia go.

    Reversal: Once inside, Sofia uses her wits as a storyteller to force his return to the past.

    Big surprises and major twists:

    Tiago comes back to the jail after doing rounds to hear children’s voices in the cell area only to discover there are no children there.

    Sofia slowly transforms the cells into the woods that Tiago has refused to enter. Vines snake across the floor and around the cell bars, choking the space.

    The running boy from the beginning makes an appearance in the wooded cell, then out the door of the jail. Tiago follows the running child through the village and into the woods but comes away empty handed.

    Tiago returns to the jail and finds an empty cell where Sofia should be.

    Tiago returns to the woods, to the place where a murder occurred, and comes face to face with the past and the means to overcome his trauma as a child. By telling his story, he gains entrance into a storied world.

  • Joan Dougherty

    Member
    July 2, 2021 at 6:06 pm in reply to: Day 3 Assignment

    Meeting with a producer

    I’m happy to tell you about a script that I think may interest you.

    Over the Edge is about a young man’s struggle to keep his past a secret and a storyteller’s efforts to help him reclaim that past and finally tell its story.

    Overcoming childhood trauma by telling your personal story is not a new concept, but entering a world of stories that perpetually and daily renew one’s spirit is new. The entry point involves going “over the edge” of the rim of the world once you’ve become a part of a story told either by or about you.

    The script involves magic realism (an amalgam of drama and fantasy) that can be achieved without CGI. It’s set in a small rural village on the edge of a large forest with a relatively small cast. It’s unique mythology involves creatures known as NightCatchers.

    If you’re interested in reading the script, I’ll be happy to send it to you.

    Meeting with a manager

    I have only one script and no ideas for another. I cannot in good conscience write as if a manager will have enough work from me to represent.Meeting with a producer

  • Joan Dougherty

    Member
    June 28, 2021 at 3:52 am in reply to: Day 2 Assignment

    Joan’s Marketable Components

    What I learned doing this assignment is how to rework my writing about the components to make them more useable for pitching.

    Logline: A young jail keeper in small rural village arrests a visiting storyteller, once a childhood friend, to keep her from telling their shared secret.

    Marketable Components

    I think the most useful way to market this script is by focusing on its uniqueness and its title.

    This is how I’d pitch them.

    Telling a personal story as a way of overcoming childhood trauma is not a new concept, but entering a world of stories that perpetually and daily renew one’s spirit is new. It can only be reached by going over the edge, a solution unique to my script.

    Over the Edge, the name of my script, captures the entry into a world available to those with the courage to overcome resistance and both claim and express their own stories. That place where they enter the heart of the story to be renewed is where the clamshell of day closes and night catchers guard the spot where the light disappears.

  • Joan Dougherty

    Member
    June 23, 2021 at 11:57 pm in reply to: Day 1 Assignment

    Joan’s Project is Over the Edge and Market is producers


    Genre
    : Magic Realism (an amalgam of drama and fantasy)<div>

    Concept: A young jail keeper in a remote rural community arrests a returning storyteller, a childhood friend, to keep her from telling their shared story.

    The time is ripe for stories buried, forbidden, neglected or untold. Telling them can amuse us, challenge us, present us with new choices but also set us on the path to healing, as one particular story does for Tiago in Over the Edge.

    I’d target producers first because I don’t have enough for a manager to do.

    What I’ve learned today is how to create a new framework for this script that seems to work better than any other I’ve had.

    </div>

  • Joan Dougherty

    Member
    June 23, 2021 at 11:46 pm in reply to: Introduce Yourself to the Group!

    Joan Dougherty, prefer female pronouns

    I’ve written two screenplays, but only one worth discussing.

    I’ve made a career out of editing books and other print materials.

    I hope to overcome my dread, if not sheer terror, of marketing.

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