[Joanna Bielak]

Joanna’s Twists and Turns

OPENING:

Dir: The new giant screen stands up at the town main square.
Tw: it’s not a commercial billboard

Dir: Animal tests on the screen.
Tw: It’s a survey, marketer interviews bystanders.

Dir: passing by are terrified and disgusted
Tw: it disrupts the social order, Beta arrests him.

INCITING INCIDENT:

Dir: University – professor waits for Leo – it’s his PhD exam.
Tw. Leo didn’t come.
Tw. Professor doesn’t look concerned

TURNING POINT 1:

Dir: Leo is missing
Tw: the biggest twist will be revealed step by step during the entire plot

Dir: Red Fox shows all demands on the giant screen
Tw: It’s just the surface, the main problem is the corrupt government (rev at the end)

Dir: Leo on the screen as a prisoner
Tw: It’s a fake – film was pre-recorded (revealed at the end)

Dir: Red Fox are hacking into the laboratory to reveal tests’ data
Tw: deeper meaning – they want to reveal that the government is lying

MIDPOINT:

Dir: Professor indoctrinated students, became more and more radical in ideology and activism.
Tw: Red Fox can be the old pro-animal organisation reactivated by the professor.

Dir: Leo is tested on the screen using chem
Tw: It’s a big mystification

Dir: police IT masters are looking for a broadcasting source (transmission link)
Tw: It’s not necessary – video was prepared, but the transmission is running online every evening

Dir: skills of the police IT team are insufficient to stop hackers
Tw: they have enough experience and intelligence to hunt down hackers

Dir: Professor suspected to be a kidnapper
Tw: No- he has a strong alibi and zero connection with an old MARS organization

TURNING POINT 2:

Dir: Beta’s team have no success with finding the transmission link
Tw: The security services take over the case
Tw: Police IT team work cleverly and faster – they find another way to catch out Red Fox

Dir: Red Fox threatens to change the parameters of starch production to poison it,
Tw: in fact, they do not want to do that, they want to make an impact on the gov.

Dir: Leo’s father was a member of MARS, the old non-active organization, pro-animal, operating legitimately.
Tw: It was a semi-terrorist org. using violence and monkeywrenching tools
Tw: The Prime Minister was the exec director

CLIMAX:

Dir: Leo wasn’t a hostage, he is an activist and demands to adopt all pro-animal acts
Tw: Leo knows the gov will not adopt any acts – that refusal takes off all the masks and reveals the true face of gov.
Tw: Leo has a free way to uncover all dirty games of the gov: the Prime was a sponsor of the fur lobby and anti-environment groups.

RESOLUTION:

The major revelation: What did MARS do years ago that was filmed and now Leo is revealing it as revenge?
Tw: There was a pro-animal campaign: Leo’s father and the Prime liberated animals in France. The Prime had a gun (minister didn’t know about it) and shot a security guard.
Tw: It was 30 years ago, so it is out of law jurisdiction (limitation of the crime) – the minister will not be tried, but the government will collapse.

[Joanna Bielak]

Joanna’s Thriller Plot

OPENING: The new giant screen stands up at the main square of the capitol. Animal tests on the screen – people are terrified and disgusted. Marketer interviews bystanders. Beta arrests him.

INCITING INCIDENT: University: professor waits for Leo – it’s his PhD exam. Leo didn’t come.

TURNING POINT 1: The Minister of the Environment contacts the Missing Persons Police Dept and reports his son Leo as missing.

a) threat and danger:
– Red Fox shows all demands on the giant screen
– Leo on the screen – prisoner
– Leo is scared, looks quite poor
– Beta’s reputation – as a weak policewoman, who is not able to find Leo
– Red Fox are hacking into the laboratory to reveal tests’ data (gov.lies)

b) Mystery:
– What Red Fox want?
– Red Herring: professor – who is he? What is his role?
– Was the video recorded previously?

MIDPOINT: Red Fox can be the old pro-animal organisation reactivated by the professor. Leo is tested on the screen using chem.

a) threat and danger
– Beta’s experience – the skills of the police IT team are insufficient to stop hackers
– Leo is tortured before the viewer’s eyes
– police recognize that the video was recorded previously
– police IT masters are looking for a broadcasting source (transmission link)
– Professor indoctrinated students, became more and more radical in ideology and activism.

b) mystery
– What Leo’s father is hiding?
– Who is involved in the corruption process?
– Who stands behind the fur lobby and from whom have they money and instructions?
– Is professor a kindapper?

TURNING POINT 2: The security services take over the case from Beta’s IT team – because they can’t find the transmission link.

a) threat and danger
– Leo is tested using chemicals like animals
– Beta’s privacy (and reputation at work) – Beta had an affair with a woman involved in an eco-activist group. She is afraid of the leak.
– Red Fox threaten to change parameters of the starch production to poison it

b) mystery
– What was MARS organization when Leo’s father was a student? (pro-animal activists)
– Is Red Fox reactivation of the old, non-active MARS?
– Was professor a member of MARS?

CLIMAX: Leo is not a prisoner, he’s involved into the Red Fox organisation. Beta finds out their hiding house.

a) threat and danger
– Leo wasn’t a hostage he is an activist and demands to adopt all pro-animal acts, if not…
– the professor wasn’t a MARS member, has no motive and any connection to the Red Fox
– Beta’s life /career is threatened – they want to wile her into their hiding place

b) mystery
– What is Leo fighting against?
– What kind of evidence does Leo have of government corruption, their monkey business and an obscure fur lobby?
– Who else is in the hideout?

RESOLUTION: Beta in the hideout – an arrested Leo reveals all about dirty Prime games and fur lobby confabulations.

a) threat and danger
– Leo uncovers all the cards – the Prime is like a Godfather and his gov like a mafia.

b) mystery
– Who else was a MARS member besides Leo’s father? (Prime minister)
– What MARS has done years ago, what was filmed and now Leo reveals that as revenge?

[Joanna Bielak]

Joanna’s Life Threatening Sequence

What I learned is: That’s the most important part of the creation. Now I know what is necessary to keep the audience’s attention, not for one or two scenes, but for the story. That part of the genre construction was difficult for me (so far), and I didn’t know how to solve it.

1.What is the Villain’s plan and how does that put the Hero in danger?

Beta (Heroine), as a police dept. chief, has the equipment, professional team, and experience to fight against the Villains (Red Fox org.) and they know that. Therefore their every step to gain the main goal is automatically focused on (sequenced):

– her reputation – as a weak policewoman, who is not able to find Leo
– experience – the skills of the police IT team are insufficient to stop hackers
– her career – they want to wile her into their hiding place
– the most dangerous situation is at the climax – Beta’s life is threatened.

2.What other potential dangers could your Hero experience as they try to solve the mystery and confront the Villain?

Her privacy (and reputation at work) – Beta had an affair with a woman involved in an eco-activist group. She is afraid of the leak.

3.From the list of potential dangers, choose the ones that work for this story.

Point one plus:
Threats – terrorized government
Talking about the danger – Red Fox shows all demands on the giant screen
Physical danger (Leo, citizens)
Surveillance / watched – everyone sees Leo on the screen
Abducted – Leo
People around them die or are injured – citizens
Presence of weapons or thugs – their hacking skills, poisoned starch

4.Sequence those dangers in order and make a list – see p. one plus:
a) missing Leo is in danger:
– he is kidnapped
– Red Fox shows a video with Leo on the city’s giant screen
– Leo is tested in the same way as animal tests are conducted
– looks like his life is threatened (but everything was prepared – fake prisoner and fake chem. tests)
b) citizens’ health is in danger:
– Red Fox are hacking into the laboratory to reveal tests’ data
– they threaten to change parameters at the starch production to poison it

[Joanna Bielak]

Joanna’s Mystery Sequence

What is the great secret that the Villain is hiding?
– Leo, the minister’s son, is an animal activist and member of Red Fox. He wasn’t kidnapped, he’s the deputy head of the group.
– Leo has evidence of government corruption, their monkey business and an obscure fur lobby.

How many ways can they cover that secret? Those become the mysteries.
a) False video: every day, a kidnapped Leo is shown on one of the city’s giant screens. To escalate the pressure on gov., Leo on the screen is tested in the same way as animal tests are conducted. Everything looks real, but this is a hoax – the videos were pre-recorded and Leo was makeup as the hostage.

b) Professor: Leo at the University was invited to a student environmental club, led by his professor (Red Herring)

The first mystery must engage the Hero into solving it.
Leo is missing.

Sequence the mysteries so that each one leads us to the next one. Include ONE Red Herring mystery if you can.

– Leo is missing – where is he?
– Red Herring: professor – who is he? What is his role?
– What is Leo’s father hiding?
– Who is involved in the corruption process?
– Who stands behind the fur lobby and from whom have they money and instructions?
– What was MARS organization when Leo’s father was a student? (pro-animal activists)
– Who else was a MARS member besides Leo’s father? (Prime minister)
– What MARS has done years ago, what was filmed and now Leo reveals that as revenge?
– Is Red Fox reactivation of the old, non-active MARS?

Create a Mystery Chain for each main mystery.

a) Giant screen transmission:
– one of the city’s giant screens is hacked – no ads, just a static green board and an orange – red fox’s head on it.
– Leo on the screen – scared, looks quite poor
– Leo is tortured before the viewer’s eyes
– Leo is tested using chemicals, the same as Animals
– police recognize that the video was recorded previously
– police IT masters are looking for a broadcasting source (transmission link)
– police have a main router’s address – Red Fox house
– Leo wasn’t a hostage, he is an activist and demands to adopt all pro-animal acts, if not…
– Leo uncovers all the cards – the Prime is like a Godfather and his gov like a mafia.

b) The professor (Red Herring)
– First impression: respected expert.
– Second: he indoctrinated students, became more and more radical in ideology and activism.
– He knows a lot about MARS – why?
– police suspect him of being a kidnapper
– the professor wasn’t a MARS member, has no motive and any connection to the Red
Fox.

[Joanna Bielak]

Joanna’s Villain Has a Great Plan!

What I learned is: that concept. It’s a great technique to set up every next step of the Hero, which is driven by the Villain’s plan and in fact, we should start with that. Brilliant! Thank you, Hal.

What is the end goal?
– public manifest: adoption of pro-animal acts in the parliament.
– covert: to clean up the parliament from the fur lobby, corruption and dirty games to keep the status quo.
– privet: Leo’s revenge on his father’s enemies – the other ministers and the prime.

How can the Villain accomplish that in a devious way?
– kidnapping environment minister’s son,
– hacking up the laboratory to reveal tests data,
– change parameters at the starch production to poison it and then products containing starch.

How can they cover it up?
What we don’t know almost to the end is the fact that the minister’s son is an animal activist too and a Red Fox member. He is not kidnapped, he’s the vice boss of the group.

Sequence it to make it as intriguing as possible.
– every day, a kidnapped Leo is shown on one of the city’s giant screens.
– this is a hoax – the videos were pre-recorded and the boy was makeup as the hostage.
– Red Fox gives MPs time to adopt acts and fulfill their demands. Because the parliament does not want to succumb to the pressure of activists and does not convene a session of the parliament – Leo on the screen is tested in the same way as animal tests are conducted.
– the police follow the video feed link on the big screen to find their hideout/broadcasting place.
– discovering the Red Fox hideout and coming to rescue the boy is a trap for the minister and the government – the boy reveals the machinations of deputies and the sources of funding for anti-environmental and anti-animal organizations from the environment ministry.

[Joanna Bielak]

Joanna’s BI Stacking Suspense

Catherine Tramell, a homicide suspect: from the first minutes on the screen she is cold, distant, unpleasant, and even brazenly confident. I don’t like her – it’s not happening very often with women’s characters. My feelings about her don’t change until the end of the movie – after Roxy dies, after her former stalker (Beth) is revealed… I don’t change my mind about her as Nick does. I don’t trust her, I don’t want to continue watching this movie and her story.

Nick Curran, detective: he is shown from the beginning on a good side, unlike his colleagues, he does not succumb to her charms and taunts. The more she provokes him, the more she knows about him, the more she shows him his psyche and weaknesses, the more he becomes obsessed with her guilt and herself. Over time, Nick gets closer and closer to her, which is dangerous. But I understand his motivations, what is behind it and what he wants to lead to as a result. So, even though I wish he wouldn’t put himself at risk, I still root for him.

Conclusion – setting the hero from the beginning as antipathetic can be risky – the viewer may dislike him/her so much that his fate will become indifferent, as long as he does not keep his fingers crossed for him to die miserably.

Regardless, it was a very important and enlightening exercise, it gave me an insight into the structure of the thriller.

[Joanna Bielak]

SOTL

This assignment was very mind-opened for me.

C. Starling is young, inexperienced, expressive reactions reveal her emotions, yet her actions and decisions are so real. She is honest, doesn’t hide anything, and this inspires trust. Intelligent, ambitious, she quickly and accurately concludes Lecter’s riddles. I’m keeping my fingers crossed and rooting for her until the very end.

Lecter as a character is a masterpiece – creating a psychiatrist-psychopath is a big challenge, and he’s also very smart… hands down! I’ve learned that a character can be locked up in a prison, practically passive – and yet so intriguing that you want to follow how the plot unfolds.

The action starts when Bill kidnaps the senator’s daughter. Bill becomes the driving force behind the plot and negotiations between the FBI and Lecter – quid pro quo – for Starling to get something about Bill, she must give Lecter her privacy. This changes the tensions elsewhere – Bill is the “active” one here, but the girl’s life now depends on Lecter.

It’s an interesting technique here – the police are dealing with Bill’s case, but the scale pointer goes between Starling and Lecter. Soon after, their paths diverge: Lecter fights for his freedom, and Starling solves the case herself – the tension is on her side again and grows.

[Joanna Bielak]

Joanna Bielak’s World and Characters!

Concept: Missing Persons Police Department search for the son of the environment minister. Behind the kidnapping stays a group of activists fighting for animal rights acts. For some, fighting for the environment is eco-terrorism.

1 Big MIS

M: Where is the boy? Who are activists and what do they want? What can or won’t deputies do?

I: Everyone wants to find and free the boy, but what about animal rights? What can we do to stop using animals in laboratories definitively.

S: Beta has to negotiate simultaneously with the government and activists to free the boy. Neither of them wants to make concessions – the sands of time are running out.

2. Tell us the Intriguing World you have selected for this story.

Laboratory testing – do we not test on animals? Or does it outsource to China? The test is also a product – like any other, it has its price – order it, and other countries will gladly do it. It’s allowed in Asia.

Fur lobby – fox, mink, and nutria farms. Today, wearing fur is out of fashion in Europe, but export to the East (post-Soviet countries, Russia and Asia) continue – so there is a group lobbying to maintain the status quo.

3 Characters

Heroine Beta Sroka

A. What is the mystery of this character? – She is the professional head of the Missing Persons Police Department. And a big heart human – it’s a moral game for her.

B. What is the suspense of this character? – Is she capable to find and free the boy?

C. What is the intrigue of this character? – Her negotiations with the government and activists are difficult, but Beta can discover and use pieces of information about every participant in that game.

Environment Minister, father of the missing boy

M: What is his role in the activist group?

I: He is a double player – can he pressure the government to accept Animal Rights Acts? Can he exchange his son’s life for laws adopted by terrorism?

S: What kind of secrets can he use against other deputies? Will he blackmail them?

[Joanna Bielak]

Joanna Bielak: Big M.I.S

My learning: The suspense, as a danger that will continue to escalate throughout the script can escalate on more than one thread, and it’s not easy to keep tension bigger and bigger.

Logline: Beta Sroka, head of the Missing Persons Police Department, must find the son of the environment minister. Behind the kidnapping stays a group of eco-activists fighting for animal rights acts. For some MEPs and the public, fighting for the environment is eco-terrorism.

1. Conventions

Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: Beta and her team

Dangerous Villain: Red Fox, eco-activists group

High stakes: missing boy’s life

Life and death situations: if the government does not agree to the activist’s demands, the boy will be killed.

This story is thrilling because? The boy is in danger, although activists are fighting on the right issue – animal lives matter too. Conflicts and moral dilemmas are provided on many levels.

2. Big M.I.S

Big Mystery:
Where is the boy? Who are activists and what do they want? What can or won’t deputies do?

Big Intrigue:
Everyone wants to find and free the boy. Although it is also a moral issue: what about animal rights? Europe does not test food or cosmetics on animals, but, when it comes to medicine, diseases, and vaccine protection, we must invest in modern methods to stop using animals in laboratories definitively.
Animals vs. boy’s life – it’s not equal, but maybe it’s time to include animal rights in the constitution. Is there any link between heart-mind, and law? Society calls for the adoption of pro-animal acts. The government cannot yield to pressure – that’s terrorism.

Big Suspense:
Beta has to negotiate simultaneously with the government and activists to free the boy. Neither of them wants to make concessions. Time flies.

[Joanna Bielak]

Fracture (2007), written by Glenn Gers, Daniel Pyne

What I learned: This movie is exciting because the game is played on many levels, and we don’t know who wins – to keep engagement all the time is the most difficult in writing for me.

2. Watch the movie and as you do, note the conventions of THIS story.

<div>Unwitting
but Resourceful Hero: Willy Beachum, the young District Attorney
</div><div>Dangerous
Villain: Ted Crawford, a structural engineer in Los Angeles – shoots his
wife
</div><div>High
stakes: Ted Crawford confesses to the Police but then changes it to „not
guilty”. He will defend himself in court – his stake is freedom. Willy
Beachum has a successful career and is actually on his way to a lucrative
position in a big private law firm – his desire to win keeps him on the
case.
</div><div>Life and
death situations: The main theme is the mental game between the two.
Crawford is smart, but one mistake and he’ll go to jail. His opponent is
clever and ambitious, but a failure can ruin his career.
</div><div>

3. What is the BIG Mystery, Intrigue, and Suspense of this story?

</div>

• Big Mystery: Who wins the battle?
• Big Intrigue: The attorney learns that the evidence cannot be accepted in the trial, and despite knowing that Ted is the killer, the murder weapon is missing and he needs to get new evidence, otherwise he will lose the case and Ted will be a free man.
• Big Suspense: Will the Attorney find the evidence of a murder?

Joanna Bielak

[Joanna Bielak]

Hi,

Joanna Bielak, I’m a novel writer (5 crime books) and sometimes script writer – my script received a national award.
I’d like to learn the thriller concept and structure because that is the most complicated (by far) genre for me.

greetings from Warsaw

[Joanna Bielak]

I confirm the Confidentiality Agreement

Joanna Bielak