[Joseph Tobin]

Joe’s BIG MIS

What I learned: I am pretty clear on most of the conventions of my story and the BIG MIS. What I need to work on is my Unwitting but Resourceful Hero, and my Dangerous Villian. Super important to get these characters right.

[Joseph Tobin]

THE MATRIX Thriller Conventions

What I learned doing this: This is the third time I’ve analyzed THE MATRIX, and I saw it completely different from the last time. The last time, i easily saw the BIG PICTURE stuff, but this time, I got drawn into the nitty gritty of each scene and how it was constructed. Also, I learned that this may be more of an Action picture than a Thriller. I guess you could say it’s an “Action Thriller.”

MOVIE: THE MATRIX

Unwitting but Resourceful Hero:

NEO. He’s a hacker who sells black market software… He gets a mysterious computer message to “follow the white rabbit,” and he’s down the rabbit hole.

He’s unwitting because he has no idea where the rabbit hole will lead. Morpheus tells him, “You’re the one,” but he doesn’t have the vaguest notion what that means. When he’s finally shown the ugly truth about reality and the MATRIX, it’s overwhelming, and he doesn’t want to believe it.

He’s resourceful because he always was “The One,” just as Morpheus believed. And as he goes through training with Morpheus, he transforms into a powerful, badass fighter, with eye popping skills– the only human capable of destroying the Matrix.

Dangerous Villain:

There are layers of Dangerous Villains, personified by AGENT SMITH, who has superpowers inside the Matrix, and leads a team of Agents, who have the power to kill Neo (and his compatriots.) Beyond Agent Smith, there are the “Squiddies,” robot-killing machines that search in the real world for Morpheus and his crew, and beyond them is the hive-mind that is The Matrix.

High stakes:

The stakes couldn’t be higher: life or death, and the future of humankind

Life and death situations:

The Agents want to kill Neo because he is “the One,” the only human who can destroy the Matrix.

If Neo dies inside the Matrix, he’s really most sincerely dead.

The Squiddies want to destroy Morpheus’ ship, the Nebuchadnezzar to neutralize the threat from Morpheus and his crew.

This movie is thrilling because?

Non-stop Interest Techniques, raising stakes, a traitor in their midst, and of course the eye-popping kick-ass action that was iconic in its day.

3. What is the BIG Mystery, Intrigue, and Suspense of this story?

Big Mystery:

What is the Matrix?
Who controls the Matrix?
Is Neo the truly “The One?
Who are the Agents?

Big Intrigue:

The AI behind the Matrix has enslaved all of humanity and turned people in to “batteries” to supply power to the Matrix… They’ve also created a realistic cyber world for the enslaved population to live as avatars, unaware of their true situation.

Big Suspense:

Will the Agents kill Neo before he can save humanity and put an end to the Matrix?

[Joseph Tobin]

Hi fellow writers!

I’m Joe Tobin. I’ve written more screenplays that I can count. I sold two of them… I’m currently in MSC-15, where I completed a phase 3 script; and I signed up for this class to write a script from a 2nd high concept for a thriller that I developed in that program. Looking forward to learning with all you folks!

[Joseph Tobin]

Joe Tobin

I agree to the terms of this agreement.

[Joseph Tobin]

Hi everyone,

I’ve written a bunch of scripts (mostly sucky)… I’ve been optioned a few times and sold two comedies… Nothing produced yet. I’m currently in MSC-15 Phase 3, working on a romcom.

[Joseph Tobin]

Joe’s Funny Scene!

What I learned: This scene establishes the INCONGRUITY at the heart of GHOSTBUSTERS: Assistant Professor Venkman is a complete and utter con-artist who couldn’t care less about science or academic pursuits — who has to save NYC from an invasion of ghosts.

This is the scene that introduces VENKMAN (Bill Murray) and establishes his character. He uses his position at the University to hit on a pretty young co-ed.

INT. PARANORMAL STUDIES LAB — SAME TIME – DAY

DR. PETER VENKMAN is administering an ESP test to two student volunteers,
a boy and a girl, who sit across the table from him separated from each
other by a screen.

Venkman is an associate professor but his rumpled suit and the manic gleam
in his eyes indicate an underlying instability in his nature. However,
while a little short on academic credentials, Venkman is long on
confidence, charm and salesmanship.

He turns to the male volunteer, an obnoxious SOPHOMORE, and pulls out a
card from the standard deck of ESP symbols. The card is visible to the
camera over Venkman’s shoulder but hidden from the sophomore by a masonite
board that rests between them on the table. The card shows a star symbol
on it.

SETUP: Venkman is an assistant professor, an adult in a position of responsibility and authority. We expect him to behave accordingly.

VENKMAN
All right. What is it?

SOPHOMORE
(concentrates)
A square?

VENKMAN
(shakes his head)
Good guess — but no.

He shows the Sophomore the star card then presses a button on the table
which administers a mild electric shock to the volunteer. The Sophomore
twitches involuntarily as the shock passes through the electrode attached
to his fingertips.

SETUP: This is how the experiment SHOULD go. If you guess wrong you get a very mild shock. If you guess right, you don’t.

Then Venkman turns to the female volunteer, a very
beautiful COED.

VENKMAN
Now just clear your mind and tell me what
you see.

He turns over a card with a circle on it.

COED
(thinks hard)
Is it a star?

VENKMAN
(feigning surprise)
It is a star! That’s great. You’re very
good.

INCONGRUITY: Venkman isn’t following his own rules… Also, he’s a slimeball. He’s hitting on the pretty student.

The Coed beams proudly as Venkman turns back to the Sophomore without
showing her the card.

VENKMAN
(to the Sophomore)
Now think.

He turns up the diamond card.

The Sophomore glances nervously at the electrodes, then ventures a guess.

SOPHOMORE
Circle?

VENKMAN
Close — but definitely wrong.

He shocks him again and swivels around to face the Coed.

VENKMAN (CONT’D)
Ready?
(she nods and he turns up
the triangle card)
What is it?

COED
(biting her lip)
Ummm — figure eight?

VENKMAN
(lies)
Incredible! Five for five. You’re not
cheating on me here, are you?

COED
(amazed at her own ability)
No. They’re just coming to me.

VENKMAN
Well, you’re doing great. Keep it up.

INCONGRUITY: Venkman is effusively praising the pretty coed for the wrong answer. (And the Sophomore is watching with growing alarm because he sees what’s going on.)

He turns back to the Sophomore who winces as the next card is turned
up — two parallel wavy lines.

SETUP: We know that Venkman’s going to electrocute this poor kid.

VENKMAN (CONT’D)
Nervous?

SOPHOMORE
Yes. I don’t like this.

VENKMAN
Well, just 75 more to go.
The jeopardy just went up.
What’s this one?

SOPHOMORE
(takes a deep breath)
Two wavy lines?

VENKMAN
(burying the card)
Sorry. This isn’t your day.

He zaps him again but this time the Sophomore really jumps.

PAYOFF: We knew it was coming, but it’s still hilarious.

SOPHOMORE
(angry)
Hey! I’m getting a little tired of this.

VENKMAN
You volunteered, didn’t you? Aren’t we
paying you for this?

SOPHOMORE
Yeah, but I didn’t know you were going to
give me electric shocks. What are you
trying to prove?

VENKMAN
I’m studying the effect of negative
reinforcement on ESP ability.

SOPHOMORE
I’ll tell you the effect! It pisses me off!

VENKMAN
Then my theory was correct.

The Sophomore gets up, pulls the electrodes off his fingertips and exits.

SOPHOMORE
(as he goes)
Keep the five bucks. I’ve had it!

INCONGRUITY: This poor kid is getting the shit zapped out of him for $5.

Venkman turns back to the Coed and shrugs.

VENKMAN
Well, I guess some people have it and some
don’t.
COED
(provocatively)
Do you think I have it, Dr. Venkman?

VENKMAN
Definitely. I think you may be a very
gifted telepath.

INCONGRUITY: We KNOW the pretty coed doesn’t have any ESP ability, but Venkman is really laying on the bullshit.

Suddenly the door opens and RAY STANTZ enters.

STANTZ

He is Venkman’s colleague and best friend. A hard scientist with a good
academic background, Stantz is a maverick who genuinely loves a challenge.
At the moment, he seems really keyed up.

STANTZ
Drop everything, Venkman. We got one.

He starts rummaging through cabinets and drawers, gathering up a variety
of electronic devices.

VENKMAN

He frowns at the intrusion and turns to the Coed.

VENKMAN
Excuse me for a minute.
(he crosses to Stantz)
Ray, I’m right in the middle of something
here. Can you come back in about an hour?

STANTZ
(excited, but hushed and
confidential)
Peter, at 1:40 this afternoon at the main
branch of the New York Public Library on
Fifth Avenue, ten people witnessed a
free-roaming, vaporous, full-torso
apparition. It blew books from shelves at
twenty feet away. Scared the socks off some
poor librarian.

VENKMAN
(unimpressed)
Sure. That’s great, Ray. I think you
should get down there right away and check
it out. Let me know what happens.

INCONGRUITY: Stanz just told Venkman something absolutely incredible– but Venkman only cares about hitting on the pretty coed.

STANTZ
(insistent)
No, this one’s for real, Peter. Spengler
went down there and took some PKE readings.
Right off the top of the scale. Buried the
needle. We’re close this time. I can feel
it.

Venkman looks at Stantz, then back at the Coed, torn between duty and
pleasure.

VENKMAN
(decides)
Okay. Just give me a second here.
(he crosses back to the
Coed)
I have to leave now but if you’ve got some
time I’d like you to come back this evening
and do some more work with me.

COED
Eight o’clock?

VENKMAN
(lying again)
I was just going to say “eight.” You’re
fantastic!

He waves good-bye and exits with Stantz.

INCONGRUITY: Venkman clearly has something other than scientific research on his mind when he invites his student, who has zero ESP skills to meet him at eight o’clock.