[Joseph Waldygo]

HIGH CONCEPT: Female ex-military squad uses stealth and cool gadgets to steal cash from dangerous cartel drug dealers to save a veteran’s shelter from foreclosure.

ELEVATOR PITCH: The story is like Jill Reacher meets Robin Hood, except Jill is a disgraced war hero now private investigator addicted to pain meds and cheap booze.

• Dilemma – How to save Megan’s life and the shelter after she is captured.
•
• Main Conflict – Tory stealing cash and outwitting drug dealers.
•
• What’s at stake? Megan’s life, Tory’s life, others, the shelter being sold.
•
• Goal/Unique Opposition – There doesn’t seem to be any way to save both Megan and the shelter if they give the Cartel back the drugs and money.

[Joseph Waldygo]

Joe Waldygo – Synopsis Hooks

I learned adding in Synopsis Hooks makes your pitch much more enticing, memorable, and distinct.

Title: BROKEN WINGS

Genre: Action/Thriller

The story is like Jill Reacher meets Robin Hood, except Jill is a disgraced war hero now private investigator addicted to pain meds and cheap booze.

This is Tory Patton! Tory and her ex-military squad uses stealth and cool gadgets to steal cash from cartel gang drug dealers to save a veteran’s shelter from foreclosure.

Seven years ago, she was blamed for a friendly fire incident and kicked out of the Air Force with an Article 15. When Mike from her old squad commits suicide, she goes to his funeral reception and reunites with the other two survivors of the incident. Tawsha, a VA nurse. Megan, a recovering addict with a missing foot she blames Tory for.

Together, they learn the shelter will be sold at auction in 30 days unless $412,500 is paid. Tory feels guilt over Mike and Megan and believes if she can save the shelter, she will have absolution of some kind.

Based on her experience as a cop, Tory convinces Tawsha and Megan they can rob gang drug houses without anyone getting hurt. They use drones, night vision, and Tasers to execute a flawless take down and heist. But there’s one problem. No money. Just drugs. Coke and heroin. So, Tory decides to sell it to one of the Phoenix street gangs. But Megan is captured and held at a desert compound by a cartel leader who used to be a Matador, but now only kills like one. Tory agrees to trade Megan for the drugs and cash.

At the same time, a Phoenix detective executes a raid on the compound to capture the Matador. There’s a major firefight. Betrayals. Reversals. The Matador escapes with the money, but Tory catches him after a chase and fight. She gives
him to the Detective and keeps the money for the community. He covers for her.

Lastly, they meet two weeks later at a big celebration at the shelter. The Detective got promoted to Captain and Tory’s a hero again. A new beginning.

[Joseph Waldygo]

Joe Waldygo – Synopsis Hooks
I learned adding in Synopsis Hooks makes your pitch much more enticing, memorable, and distinct.
Title: BROKEN WINGS
Genre: Action/Thriller

The story is like Jill Reacher meets Robin Hood, except Jill is a disgraced war hero now private investigator addicted to pain meds and cheap booze. This is Tory Patton!

Tory and her ex-military squad uses stealth and cool gadgets to steal cash from cartel gang drug dealers to save a veteran’s shelter from foreclosure.

Seven years ago, she was blamed for a friendly fire incident and kicked out of the Air Force with an Article 15.

When Mike from her old squad commits suicide, she goes to his funeral reception and reunites with the other two survivors of the incident. Tawsha, a VA nurse. Megan, a recovering addict with a missing foot she blames Tory for.

Together, they learn the shelter will be sold at auction in 30 days unless $412,500 is paid. Tory feels guilt over Mike and Megan and believes if she can save the shelter, she will have absolution of some kind.

Based on her experience as a cop, Tory convinces Tawsha and Megan they can rob gang drug houses without anyone getting hurt. They use drones, night vision, and Tasers to execute a flawless take down and heist. But there’s one problem. No money. Just drugs. Coke and heroin. So, Tory decides to sell it to one of the Phoenix street gangs.

But Megan is captured and held at a desert compound by a cartel leader who used to be a Matador, but now only kills like one. Tory agrees to trade Megan for the drugs and cash.

At the same time, a Phoenix detective executes a raid on the compound to capture the Matador. There’s a major firefight. Betrayals. Reversals.

The Matador escapes with the money, but Tory catches him after a chase and fight. She gives him to the Detective and keeps the money for the community. He covers for her.

Lastly, they meet two weeks later at a big celebration at the shelter. The Detective got promoted to Captain and Tory’s a hero again. A new beginning.

[Joseph Waldygo]

Joe Waldygo’s – 10 Most Interesting Things
What I learned doing this assignment. I learned how to incorporate and emphasize the 10 most Interesting Things into my 5 minute pitch.

A. What is most unique about your villain and hero?
Low rent Private Investigator Tory Patton is a wounded, wrongly accused military hero addicted to pain killers.
Cartel leader known as The Matador was a real Matador, now he just kills like one.

B. Major hook of your opening scene? We see fallen hero Protagonist in chronic pain from wounds, addicted, almost shooting up heroin.
C. Any turning points?
-When veteran’s shelter receives 30-day foreclosure notice or $412k.
-Tory and 2 former squad members decide to rob a drug dealer.
-When Megan gets captured and given to Cartel.

D. Emotional dilemma?
After Megan is captured, Tory plans to rescue her solo with guns and gadgets instead of calling cops.

E. Major twists? Tory plans and executes perfect robbery but there’s no cash.
F. Reversals?
1.) Matador is ready to kill ladies. Then Lethal Latinas reveal and kick ass.
2.) Detective gets task force with DEA. Then DEA (old boss) is crooked and betrays him.
3.) The crooked DEA is in control, then Tory with rifle shuts them down.

G. Character betrayals?
Mike betrays Tory by not confessing to friendly fire incident.
Dodge betrays Detective.

H. Or any big surprises? Mike confesses and absolves Tory from friendly fire incident. Megan gets captured. Lethal Latinas in white dresses.

[Joseph Waldygo]

Joe Waldygo – Producer/Manager (put in first line of your post)
1. How will you present yourself and your project to the producer?
I would start out by giving my inspiration for writing the script and then broadly describe the genre, time period, location, audience. After that I would give the TITLE, Logline or High Concept, and main story beats of the Protagonist’s journey over 3 acts and its three most marketable components.

2. How will you present yourself and your project to the manager?
1.) I would introduce myself as a screenwriter of thriller and action/thriller features and TV pilots. 2.) Provide a little background on myself as a writer and the number of scripts I’ve written. 3.) Present strongest project. Tell the genre, TITLE, high concept, most marketable components, hooks, etc. Communicate interest in collaboration and receiving/applying notes.
3. “What I learned today is to tailor my pitches to the specific needs of the producer or manager. Always emphasize the most unique, relevant, and strongest marketing components of my project.

[Joseph Waldygo]

Joe Waldygo – Marketable Components
What I learned today is the value of developing a full repertoire of marketing hooks and pitches to most effectively target specific audiences and get script requests.
1.) Genre: Female Led Action Thriller Feature
Title: BROKEN WINGS
Logline: Tormented former fighter pilot, suffering from chronic pain and guilt, reunites with her old squad to lead a perilous mission against a ruthless cartel in order to save a collapsing veteran’s shelter and gain personal absolution.
Concept: Disgraced and addicted ex-military hero reunites with former squad to save a collapsing veteran’s shelter from foreclosure by robbing drug gang of a Mexican cartel.
a.) It’s an underdog story. An addicted and wrongly accused hero seeks and gains absolution while saving a veteran’s shelter of wounded warriors from foreclosure.
b.) I am going to target Literary Managers first because I am seeking representation for several projects.

2.) Marketable Components

a.) Unique = High Concept
Female ex-military squad uses stealth and cool gadgets to steal cash from cartel drug dealers to save a veteran’s shelter from foreclosure.

b.) Wide Audience Appeal – M&F, 25-50. Female action characters rob bad guys to save disabled veterans.

c.) Similarity to a box-office success. – The protagonist and theme is similar to Jack Reacher except with a female protagonist.

d.) Great Role for an Actor – The protagonist’s heroism, unique capabilities, and numerous flaws present a very interesting role and character arc for a leading actor.
3.) Do a quick brainstorm session about ways to elevate those two components for this script and tell us how you might pitch the script through the two components. Emphasize and contrast the disgrace, guilt, addiction with the heroism, bravery, skills and redemption/absolution. She feels guilt and wants to make up for it.

4.) Example: If you say your script has a great role, in one or two sentences, tell us how you can emphasize that role as you pitch your concept.
Badass female
Tragic Hero
Wounded & addicted warrior
Wrongfully disgraced

5.) Uniquely flawed and heroic protagonist. A disgraced and guilt-ridden ex-military war hero risks her life to gain absolution by saving a collapsing veteran’s shelter.

[Joseph Waldygo]

I’ve taken a few SU courses and learned a great deal from them. I’m hoping to improve the quality of my pitches for every situation and opportunity I come across. And hopefully get representation.

[Joseph Waldygo]

Joe Waldygo
I’ve written 3 TV pilots and 4 features. All thriller or action/thrillers.
In my day job, I’m a marketing/PR consultant and have a strong and diverse technology background in computers, software, IT, life sciences.

[Joseph Waldygo]

Joe Waldygo
I agree to the terms of this release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Joseph Waldygo]

Hi Eric,
Thanks for the note and the interesting question. I’m not 100% certain of this answer, but here goes. I know certain countries (China and Russia) block the internet or parts of the internet from their general public, but not sure how they do it. I would guess if they can control the servers that provide the local internet connection, they it could possibly be done. They probably would not be able to block wireless connections coming from a satellite.
Also, from what I’ve read, there are thousands of fake Chinese sites/servers pretending to be News Organizations and/or US citizens on social media promoting political and other conspiracies. If it were possible to easily identify and block these sites, the US would probably do it as they seem to have no legitimate purpose.
I’ve read a little about Microsoft being able to block some things, but not sure how broad or specific they can be. I would search something about Microsoft’s ability to block dangerous international Web traffic.
Aside from the technical, there would likely need to be legal/legislative reasons and approval for doing so. Congress, Justice Department, etc.
So, my short answer is – probably not:-)