[John Garofolo]

Hello Douglas, Larry, Camie,

Since it looks like we’re the only one’s that have submitted an outline thus far, I thought I’d reach out to all three of you.

I’m happy to take a look at your outlines and offer feedback (since that seems to be the feedback mechanism) if you’re interested. Of course I’m happy to get some feedback myself, so, if you’re up for it, that would be great, too.

That being said my outline is a little on the long side, since, at this point, I’m really trying to flesh out the story and I tend to want to understand where the scenes going. So, this draft is not intended to something I would send out for public consumption.

Please let me know if you’d like to swap outlines.

Have a nice weekend.

Best,

John Garofolo

[John Garofolo]

Hello Douglas, Larry, Camie,

Since it looks like we’re the only one’s that have submitted an outline thus far, I thought I’d reach out to all three of you.

I’m happy to take a look at your outlines and offer feedback (since that seems to be the feedback mechanism) if you’re interested. Of course I’m happy to get some feedback myself, so, if you’re up for it, that would be great, too.

That being said my outline is a little on the long side, since, at this point, I’m really trying to flesh out the story and I tend to want to understand where the scenes going. So, this draft is not intended to something I would send out for public consumption.

Please let me know if you’d like to swap outlines.

Have a nice weekend.

Best,

John Garofolo

[John Garofolo]

John Garofolo’s OUTLINE Version 1

Apologies for the length, but I wanted to make sure I made the deadline since this is the last session.

Best, John

*********

OAK PARK (aka BRIDAL PARTY)

OUTLINE V. 1

ACT I

1. INT. CROWDED BAR, OAK PARK, IL – NIGHT

A YOUNG MAN and YOUNG WOMAN are clearly connecting. They’re conversation is flirtatious and indicates this is going somewhere tonight.

They finish their drinks, put on their coats and walk out the bar.

2. EXT. SIDEWALK, OAK PARK, IL – NIGHT

The couple walk arm in arm and continue flirting. They stop at an apartment building and kiss passionately before entering the building.

3. INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT

Horror Situation: The couple enters the bedroom and continues kissing and tearing clothes off and begins making love.

Apprehension: They don’t notice the presence that is in the apartment and watching from the partially open door.

Surprise: Suddenly the door bursts open by a figure in shadow.

Creepy Moment, Fear, Dread: The couple reason with the figure, apologize, try to calm things down.

Panic: The figure (POV) strangles the male lover. The girl, screaming in terror tries to escape.

Hysteria: She’s caught by the Shadowy figure and slowly strangled to death and then thrown back on the bed. Her lifeless face stares.

The murderer escapes.

************

POSSIBLE ADDITION: The next morning.

Adele, a pretty 20-year-old college student and roommate enter the apartment. She takes off her coat and hangs in the coat closet and heads to the kitchen.

She throws a couple of bottles of beer in the trash, goes to the refrigerator and peers in, looking to see what’s inside.

After a few moments, she closes the door and opens a cabinet, pulls out a bag of coffee and a filter and crosses over to the coffeemaker. She pulls the glass coffee pot out and then turns to the sink, runs the water and starts filling the pot.

She calls out Hey (Name), I’m making coffee do you want some?

She waits a moment for a reply…

Nothing.

While the coffee’s brewing she goes to her roommates bedroom and lightly knocks on the door.

She gently calls (Name) and pauses.

No answer.

To herself “That’s weird, she’s usually up by now).

She knocks LOUDER.

Knocks again.

“I’m coming in, so if you’ve got company, you better cover up.

She opens the door and sees—two dead bodies lying on the bed.

She SCREAMS.

*******

FIVE YEARS LATER…

4. INT. BRIDE TO BE’S FAMILY HOME (VARIOUS ROOMS) – DAY

A GROUP OF SEVEN YOUNG WOMEN, 20’s and the bride-to-be’s STEPMOTHER are getting ready for a family and friends co-ed bridal party. We learn about the characters through their discussion and are aware that the house is the family home of the bride-to-be and her stepmother, as well as see the group dynamics. After the dinner, they’re coming back to the house for an after-party with just the bride’s inner circle.

It’s October 30th.

The Master bedroom, bathroom, bride-to-be’s old bedroom and bathroom are crowded with garment bags, make-up kits and eight women trying to get ready to go out.

Surprise/Shock: There are several occasions where the bride-to-be and other bridesmaids are startled by people innocently walking into a room and were unseen or unheard because of their laser focus on putting on hair and make-up or can’t hear because of a very LOUD BLOW DRYER.

Creepy Moment: There’s also a discussion triggered by a group of howling coyotes, which, apparently, have become more of a concern, due to more sightings in the neighborhoods and small dogs being attacked or just disappearing.

5. INT. /EXT. FAMILY HOME – DAY (NEAR DUSK)

Horror Situation: Just before they’re ready to leave, there’s a knock at the door.

Creepy Moment: The bride-to-be and Maid of Honor answer the door and are surprised to see two adult sized trick-or-treaters a day early. One is dressed like Michael Meyers and the other is dressed like Jason Voorhees.

Apprehension: The bride-to-be is a little surprised when the two characters wordlessly put forth their pillowcases indicating they’d like a treat. The bride says, “aren’t you a little early for Halloween?” No answer. They push forth their bags.

Surprise: A couple of the other bridesmaids join them at the front door and react to the early bird trick-or-treaters’ scary looking costumes and assumed adult-size teenagers.

Suspense (maybe): The bride-to-be tells the two to wait a minute and calls for someone to get some candy bars from the counter. One of the four at the door runs back toward the kitchen and returns in a few beats with a handful of candy bars and puts it in the two bags and cheerfully ends with “Happy Early Halloween, boys.”

Creepy moment: Jason and Michael stand there for a moment before all the girls say “Happy Halloween.” in unison, when a chorus of coyote howls startle the bride-to-be and she shuts the door on them.

Creepy moment (they’re unsettled): They all look at each other and say things like “that was weird,” pretty big teenagers,” “coyotes creep me out.”

6. INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT

We meet the FIANCÉ and learn more about all the characters. He’s quiet, but makes an effort to interact with the guests.

Creepy Moment (unsettling): An OLD BOYFRIEND shows up and corners the bride-to-be to tell her not to get married.

He asks if he can talk to the bride-to-be. She reluctantly agrees. He tells her she’s making a big mistake…there’s something off about her fiancé.

She doesn’t believe him and it’s getting awkward now. The Maid of Honor and several of the bridesmaids circle around the two of them. The bride-to-be tells the ex-boyfriend that it’s pretty despicable for him to trash talks her fiancé like that and she tells him to leave.

Creepy Moment: The old boyfriend leaves. But before he gets in his car, he sees the groom-to-be glaring at him in a way that makes him nervous.

The party guests have all left by now and the bridal party heads for the bride-to-be’s home.

7. EXT. OLD BOYFRIEND’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

POV:

Horror situation: Over a figure’s shoulder, a fisted hand KNOCKS on the DOOR.

It KNOCKS harder and LOUDER

From inside the apartment, the figure can hear the occupant say, “Hold on for Christ’s sakes. I’m coming. Gimme a minute.”

The door swings open.

Surprise: Robert, Samantha’s old boyfriend looks out and his eyes widen when he recognizes the figure standing outside his door.

Surprised, he asks, “What the hell are you doing’ here?”

Fear: His surprise turns to fear.

Shock/Dread/Panic: The figure pounces on Robert, grabs him and pushes him into the apartment, with a look of terror on his face as the door SLAMS shut.

The SOUNDS of a STRUGGLE are evident and Robert’s AD LIBBED protests become more MUFFLED as he fights back for a moment before a MUTED SCREAM. Then a THUMP.

Then silence.

ACT II

8. EXT. BRIDE-TO-BE’S FAMILY HOME – NIGHT

The bridal party goes back to the suburban house for the real party to open up the presents not suitable for family and friends outside the bridal party to see. The bridesmaid’s cars fill up the long drive way and they chitchat on the way into the house.

9. INT. BRIDE-TO-BE’S FAMILY HOME (DOWNSTAIRS) – NIGHT

The party continues inside the house, primarily in the kitchen, dining and living rooms, where they are seated and opening up the rest of the presents and getting more drinks.

We learn more about the dynamics, relationships and underlying pettiness between the characters (of particular importance is the discussion that the groom-to-be was adamant about no sex before marriage).

The bride’s step mother, collects everyone’s cell phones to make sure that no evidence of the party gets out and car keys to make sure no one can leave or drive while intoxicated.

They open the presents and talk further about the wedding, honeymoon with some corny sex jokes thrown in to embarrass the bride to be. The presents include sexy lingerie, handcuffs and an extra large vibrator.

The groom-to-be shows up a little later, bringing an expensive bottle of champagne. AT this point, everybody’s happy. While the level of intoxication/impairment isn’t a the level of being fall-down drunk, they’re mostly coherent, but clearly impaired, which will impact their decision-making and ability to plan and execute their escapes when needed.

That being said, the groom-to-be seems perfectly sober and the stepmother of the bride-to-becomes an obnoxious drunk. The girls convince her it’s finally time for her to go to bed (and she’s intoxicated enough to get past the point of being argumentative.

10. INT. MASTER BEDROOM (UPSTAIRS) – NIGHT

When she gets into the master bedroom, the groom-to-be comes out of the master bathroom, apologizing profusely for startling her

Horror Situation: The stepmother tells the groom-to-be to stay, flirting, then, seducing him. At first, he tries to politely escape, but she persists and eventually, they end up on the bed, with the groom-to-be on top of her.

Suspense: When she reaches down and grabs between his legs, she literally flips a switch and the seduction turns deadly.

Creepy Moment: First, he tears at her clothes (which, at first, she thinks is merely rough sex play and reacts as such), (Apprehension/Surprise:) then he paws at he body, getting rougher and then grabs her throat as she finally grasps the fact that this isn’t a game.

Panic/Horror/Hysteria: Panic sets in and she fights to tear his hands from around her throat, thrashing her body wildly, to no avail. She’s slowly strangled to death.

Monster reveal: The monster is now unleashed.

11. INT. FAMILY HOME (LIVING ROOM) – NIGHT

Release: While the murder occurs, the party continues downstairs as if nothing happened (no one knows their was a murder).

Creepy Moment/Suspense: From this point on the monster engages in a cat and mouse game with the victims, who still aren’t aware that anything is going wrong.

Suspense: One of the bridesmaids decides to go use one of the upstairs bathrooms since the downstairs bathroom is occupied. She goes up stairs and snoops around, deciding to go into the Master Bedroom.

12. INT. MASTER BEDROOM (UPSTAIRS) – NIGHT

Horror Situation: The room is empty, no sight of either the stepmother or killer. The bridesmaid (Apprehension/Suspense) looks around at things on the dresser, picks up a framed picture of the stepmother (perhaps, a boudoir photo), meanders through the room and enters the bathroom.

(Note–Potential Creepy Moment: Maybe there’s a shot of the step-mother’s lifeless body with eyes still open shoved under the bed looking out, seen by the audience, but not the nosy bridesmaid)

Monster reveal/Apprehension: The groom-to-be walks out of the closet wearing a dark trench coat and startles her. She nervously starts to stammer and chatter until she notices he’s carrying a gas mask.

Anxiety to Shock: He notices her looking at the gas mask, gives her an evil grin and pushes the bathroom door closed and pounces on her grabbing her throat with his free hand and strangles her to death (alternate: he wrestles her into the bathtub and chokes her while water from the faucet pours on her face). In either case, the victim’ reactions move from surprise, to dread to panic, then hysteria as she realizes she’s going to die.

When the groom-to-be finishes the murder, he stands in front of the mirror, looking at himself with a now, permanently etched, evil grin, putting on the gas mask and saying something like, “He’s back.” These will be the last words the killer speaks from now on.

13. INT. FAMILY HOME (DOWNSTAIRS) LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

Release: The rest of the partiers are still not aware they’re in danger.

14. INT. FAMILY HOME – NIGHT

Horror Situation: PLACEHOLDER for third murder and monster reveal.

Creepy Moments: Reaction: panic, terror, fighting back, this time there’s some NOISE that alerts the bridal party that’s something’s very wrong.

They investigate to see what’s going on.

Horror Situation: Apprehension/Dread: They go to the master bedroom and find the bride-to-be’s mother (step-mother), maybe positioned on the bed telegraphing it was a murder. They finally know they’re in big trouble.

Shock/Horror: They are disgusted, horrified, traumatized. But, they still have to solve the mystery. They look for their friends and fiancé.

Shock/Horror/Anguish: The bride-to-be is devastated at the realization her fiancé may have been killed or is the killer.

Anxiety/Panic: They can’t find their cell phones and can’t call 911, because the landline isn’t working, either. They realize they’re on their own.

15. INT. FAMILY HOME (DOWNSTAIRS) – NIGHT

Horror Situation: Fear/Suspense/Dread: While they’re looking for their phones, keys and other victims, Bridesmaid #3 runs outside to the closest neighbor’s house for help.

16. EXT. FAMILY HOME/NEIGHBOR’S HOME – NIGHT

Horror Situation: Hysteria: There’s no answer at the neighbors house, as she screams and knocks on the door. She knocks again, pleading. But there’s still no answer.

Anguish/Panic/Dread: She’s grabbed from behind by the killer and choked, but she manages to break free and tries to run back to the house, but is disoriented from the choking, she trips and staggers through the side gate (thinking she can escape the killer), trips again, but gets up and staggers through the second gate into a long side yard backing up against a hill (note: the killer never runs after the victims, his terrifying presence causes them to panic and make mistakes)

Dread/Horror/Hysteria: She’s pursued by the killer who doesn’t run, but methodically walks toward as she tries to escape, first by trying to climb over a wrought iron fence, but pauses when she hears a pack of coyotes howling nearby.

Anguish/Panic: The killer reaches for her and pulls her back and lets her escape.

Dread/Hysteria: She can’t move very fast but keeps going as she looks over her shoulder and sees the killer pursuing her.

(Hysteria) She reaches a small gate going into the backyard, but can’t seem to open it and climbs over the sharp pickets.

17. INT./EXT. FAMILY HOME – NIGHT

Horror Situation (cont’d.) Back inside the house, the rest of the bridal party continues searching the house looking for their other dead friend and the fiancé.

Fear: They’re so afraid they spook themselves, while they do their awkward search.

Panic/Horror: They’re all downstairs and decide to get out while they can and go to the front door to join their friend, whom they think has gotten help. But they can’t open the front door, it’s jammed shut and try and push the door open with no luck.

Dread/Hysteria: In the meantime, the other bridesmaid gets to the slider in the backyard patio and starts pounding on it, causing the bridesmaids inside the house to run to the family room.

Shock/ Horror: When they flip the light switch, illuminating the back yard, they see the killer standing right there, holding their friend who has a terrified expression on her face (makeup streaming down her face from her tears). Now that he has an audience, the killer strangles her while the girls inside the house, frozen in fear, they helplessly watch in horror.

Anguish/Shock: The killer drops the body to the ground and walks out of view. The four remaining survivors now decide to stay inside the house and hide since they can’t get outside and they can’t call for help.

ACT III

18. INT. FAMILY HOME (DOWNSTAIRS) – NIGHT

Horror Situation: The survivors split up and hide inside the house, one pair going upstairs the other remaining downstairs.

Horror/Hysteria: Two bridesmaids hiding in a downstairs closet are both terrified and do their best to calm themselves. It’s not working.

Suspense: The killer is somehow inside the house without making any noise. He stalks and finds the two panic-stricken survivors hiding downstairs as they try and make their escape.

Dread/Horror/Hysteria: He kills the two of them by strangling them and lifting them off the ground. They die together.

19. INT. FAMILY HOME (UPSTAIRS) – NIGHT

Horror Situation: Sam and Olivia, still in hiding, hear their friends being killed: and are riddled with panic, sorrow, guilt and shame.

Anguish/Apprehension: Now, the bride-to-be and the Maid of Honor are faced with a decision: fight or make a run for it.

Creepy Moment: The killer turns off all lights in the house and begins hunting for the remaining two.

Horror: The two survivors are terrified, but resign themselves to the fact that they have to fight to survive.

Suspense: The killer moves through the house, opening doors, peering inside, slamming them shut (for effect).

He finds them waiting for him and they fight with tenacity and anger, both taking one hell of a pounding, but finally the two women get an advantage and one of them hits him with whatever heavy or sharp object they have and the killer goes down.

Release: After the fight, the two survivors are exhausted, in shock, express sorrow, anguish and simultaneous guilt mixed with relief they’ve survived.

20. INT. BEDROOM CLOSET – NIGHT

Olivia and Sam think they’ve won the fight.

Release: They pull themselves up and see the killer’s body on the floor and feel a sense of relief.

But, they’re physically and emotionally drained and can’t even bring themselves to speak.

Exhaustion: Sam stops and stands over the killer for a moment.

They head back to the master bedroom to look around.

21. INT. MASTER BEDROOM – NIGHT

Anguish: They both stop when they see the two dead bodies on the bed.

Sam rummages through the nightstand drawer and finds two flashlights and illuminates them.

Monster Reveal/Shock: Sam flashes the light at Olivia, illuminating the killer.

Horror: She SCREAMS.

Olivia turns in horror and sees the killer as he grabs her. It’s round two of their life or death fight.

The killer chokes Olivia.

Sam runs towards them and starts wailing on the killer until he lets Olivia go and turns his attention to Sam.

He lunges for her and subdues her, as Olivia tries to catch her breath.

Olivia then looks for a weapon…any weapon that can help.

Sam bites hard on his hand and he lets her go–she quickly collects herself and throat punches the killer, which seems to stun him. But, she collapses on the ground from exhaustion.

Olivia then runs out of the closet carrying what looks like a sword and stabs the killer from behind.

She pulls the sword out and is stunned to see the killer turn toward her and grabs her throat before she can stab him again.

He strangles her even harder than before and finally kills her.

The killer drops to both knees and after a moment falls face forward to the floor.

Sam, barely coherent, pulls herself off the floor and crawls over to her friend.

She sobs heavily as she caresses her best friend’s body, holding her tight to her chest and passes out.

A few moments later when she returns to consciousness, still holding onto Olivia’s lifeless body, she realizes something is wrong…

Suspense/Panic/Dread: The killer is not in the room.

Filled with dread, but also determined to avenge the deaths of her friends, she pulls herself off the ground and starts searching for the killer (this is the moment where she decides to avenge all the deaths).

22. INT. STAIRWAY – NIGHT

Horror Situation: (FIGHT TO THE DEATH OR DIE TRYING): Armed with a flashlight and her baseball bat, she slowly goes downstairs, listening, finally hearing a loud noise coming from the garage.

She goes to the laundry room door/entrance to the garage, pauses for a moment, then slowly opens it and peers inside.

23. INT. LAUNDRY ROOM – NIGHT

Apprehension: The small room is clear.

Apprehension: She slowly opens the second door that opens to the garage.

24. INT. GARAGE (FIRST BAY) – NIGHT

Suspense: She enters the garage and tiptoes through the storage shelves.

It’s completely packed with boxes and overflowing storage shelves making a dangerous maize-like path.

Suspense: She stumbles through the garage. She knows he’s there. But doesn’t know where.

Suspense: She heads toward the next door opening to the two-car garage space.

Surprise: She hears something drop ahead of her and changes direction. She quickly opens the door.

25. INT. GARAGE (TWO-CAR BAY) – NIGHT

Apprehension: She moves very deliberately through the mass of stuff on the floor, tripping and trying

Suspense: She presses on slowly until she gets to where she last heard the sound. But, no one’s there.

Monster Reveal: She turns to the left and, in an instant, he pounces on her grabbing her from behind, puts her in a choke hold and wrestles the bat away from her.

She struggles to break the hold, throwing elbows, reaching around to grab anything.

She’s almost out of air and about to pass out.

With one final effort, she manages to kick him with her heel in the groin and he releases his grip.

She tries to catch her breath and searches for her baseball bat, but finds a screwdriver on the garage floor and desperately grabs hold of it.

He recovers and grabs her again and pulls her off the floor and tries to get her in a chokehold. She stabs at him with the screwdriver and hits her mark, causing him to release her.

She struggles to find the baseball bat on the floor…this time she finds it, grabs it and swings away striking a killing blow.

She hits him again to make sure he’s dead this time.

Release: She slowly backs away from the body until she bumps into a shelf and turns around and hurries out of the garage back into the relative safety of the house.

It’s finally over.

[John Garofolo]

John Garofolo’s (maybe) Scary-As-Hell Scene

What I learned doing this assignment is further validation of the importance of sequencing scares releases and creepy moments to ensure your project is on track with conventions of the horror genre.

HORROR MAP:

Horror Situation: Isolated/Pursued

(The scene takes place after the bride-to-be and maid of honor think they’ve killed the monster) – Release.

Anguish, Shock –They think they’ve won the fight and limp through the house and take stock of the situation. They look for their phones and go back up to the second floor bedroom and continue looking for their other friends (Note: The killer will probably reveal the two dead bodies by this time, but, I haven’t worked these reveals out yet).

Horror Situation: Isolated/Pursued

Apprehension, Anguish, Suspense — The killer comes back to life and begins quietly stalking the two survivors, until he makes a move attacking from behind and round two of the fight continues. –Panic

PANIC, HYSTERIA -the fight of their lives.

Anguish, Dread–When the dust settles this time, the maid of honor and the killer both appear to be dead.

Samantha is alive.

Release.

Anguish, Horror. The bride-to-be sobs heavily as she caresses her best friend’s body, holding her tight to her chest.

Anguish, Panic, Hysteria. But, then, she hears noises downstairs.

Now, alone, she goes back downstairs to find the killer, the man she almost married, who has, apparently come back to life again.

Fear/Apprehension. She realizes he’s in the garage. And, quietly goes down the stairs, now stalking a psycho killer, carrying her baseball bat.

She slowly opens the laundry room door/entrance to the garage.

She enters the garage and tiptoes through the storage shelves and carefully enters the garage.

Anxiety. Fear. It’s completely packed with boxes and overflowing storage shelves making a dangerous maize-like path.

She stumbles through the garage. She knows he’s there. But doesn’t know where.

Anxiety-She hears something drop ahead of her and changes direction. She moves very deliberately through the mass of stuff on the floor, tripping and giving away her position.

Dread-She pauses, catches her breath and listens.

She presses on slowly until she gets to where she last heard the sound. But, he’s not there.

She turns to the left and in an instant, he pounces on her and grabs her from the back, puts her in a choke hold and wrestles the bat away from her. –Hysteria.

Panic–She struggles to break the hold, throwing elbows, reaching around to grab anything. She’s almost out of air and with one final effort, pokes him in the eye and he releases his grip

Hysteria–She tries to catch her breath and searches for her baseball bat, but finds a screwdriver on the garage floor and desperately grabs it.

Hysteria–He recovers and grabs her again and pulls her off the floor and tries to get her in a chokehold. She stabs at him with the screwdriver and hits her mark, causing him to release her.

She struggles to find the baseball bat on the floor. She grabs it and swings away striking a killing blow–Anguish, Shock.

Release.

INT. BEDROOM CLOSET

Olivia and Sam think they’ve won the fight.

The pull themselves up and see the killer’s body on the floor and feel a sense of relief.

But, they’re physically and emotionally drained and can’t even bring themselves to speak.

Sam stops and stands over the killer for a moment.

OLIVIA

It’s over.

SAMANTHA

How can I have missed the signs?

OLIVIA

There were no signs.

SAMANTHA

I should have known.

OLIVIA

How could you have known?

SAMANTHA

This is all my fault.

Olivia grabs her.

OLIVIA

This is not your fault. It’s that sick fuck’s fault.

SAMANTHA

They’re all dead.

Olivia comforts her.

OLIVIA

Let’s find our phones and call for help. You need…we need help.

Sam nods in agreement.

They head to the master bedroom to look around.

INT. MASTER BEDROOM – NIGHT

They both stop when they see the two dead bodies on the bed.

SAM

We can’t leave them like this.

She starts moving toward them.

OLIVIA

You can’t touch them. It’s a crime scene.

Sam stops. She’s right.

She stops short, gets down on the floor and looks under the bead.

Olivia does the same.

There’s nothing.

SAM

My parents used to keep flashlights in their nightstands.

She gets off the floor and crosses to the nightstand on her left. She opens it and finds two flashlights and illuminates them.

Olivia gets up.

Sam flashes the light at Olivia and illuminates the killer

She SCREAMS.

Olivia turns in horror and sees the killer as he grabs her.

It’s round two of their life or death fight.

The killer chokes Olivia.

Sam runs towards them and starts wailing on the killer, he lets Olivia go and turns his attention to Sam.

He lunges for her and subdues her, as Olivia tries to catch her breath.

Olivia, then looks for a weapon…any weapon that can help.

Sam bites hard on his hand and he lets her go–she quickly collects herself and throat punches the killer, which seems to stun him.

But, she collapses on the ground from exhaustion.

Olivia then runs out of the closet carrying what looks like a sword and stabs the killer from behind.

She pulls the sword out and is stunned to see the killer turn toward her and grabs her throat before she can stab him again.

He strangles her even harder than before and finally kills her.

The killer drops to both knees and after a moment falls face forward to the floor.

Sam, barely coherent, pulls herself off the floor and crawls over to her friend.

She sobs heavily as she caresses her best friend’s body, holding her tight to her chest and passes out.

A few moments later when she returns to consciousness, still holding onto Olivia’s lifeless body, she realizes something is wrong…

The killer is not in the room.

Filled with dread, but also determined to avenge the deaths of her friends, she pulls herself off the ground and starts searching for the killer.

INT. STAIRWAY – NIGHT

Armed with a flashlight and her baseball bat, she slowly goes downstairs, listening, finally hearing a loud noise coming from the garage.

She goes to the laundry room door/entrance to the garage, pauses for a moment, then slowly opens it and peers inside.

INT. LAUNDRY ROOM – NIGHT

The small room is clear.

She slowly opens the second door that opens to the garage.

INT. GARAGE (FIRST BAY) – NIGHT

She enters the garage and tiptoes through the storage shelves.

It’s completely packed with boxes and overflowing storage shelves making a dangerous maize-like path.

She stumbles through the garage. She knows he’s there. But doesn’t know where.

She heads toward the next door opening to the two car garage space.

She hears something drop ahead of her and changes direction.

She quickly opens the door.

INT. GARAGE (TWO-CAR BAY) – NIGHT

She moves very deliberately through the mass of stuff on the floor, tripping and giving away her position.

She pauses, catches her breath and listens.

She presses on slowly until she gets to where she last heard the sound. But, no one’s there.

She turns to the left and, in an instant, he pounces on her grabbing her from behind, puts her in a choke hold and wrestles the bat away from her.

She struggles to break the hold, throwing elbows, reaching around to grab anything. She’s almost out of air and about to pass out.

With one final effort, she pokes him in the eye and he releases his grip

She tries to catch her breath and searches for her baseball bat, but finds a screwdriver on the garage floor and desperately grabs hold of it.

He recovers and grabs her again and pulls her off the floor and tries to get her in a chokehold. She stabs at him with the screwdriver and hits her mark, causing him to release her.

She struggles to find the baseball bat on the floor.

This time she finds it, grabs it and swings away striking a killing blow.

She hits him again to make sure he’s dead this time.

She slowly backs away from the body until she bumps into a shelf and turns around and hurries out of the garage.

[John Garofolo]

John Garofolo’s Scares, Releases and Creepy moments

What I learned from this assignment is further validation of the importance of carefully sequencing the emotions for maximum effect.

OUTLINE:

INT. FAMILY HOME (UPSTAIRS AND DOWNSTAIRS)

The survivors split up and hide inside the house, one pair going upstairs the other remaining downstairs.

The killer is somehow inside the house without making any noise. He stalks and finds the two panic-stricken survivors hiding downstairs as they try and make their escape

The bride-to-be and Maid of Honor, still in hiding, know their friends have been killed: and are riddled with panic, sorrow, guilt and shame.

Now, the bride-to-be and the Maid of Honor are faced with a decision: fight or make a run for it.

The killer turns off all lights in the house and begins hunting for the remaining two.

The two survivors are terrified, but resign themselves to the fact that they have to fight to survive.

The killer moves through the house, opening doors, peering inside, slamming them shut (for effect) He finds them waiting for him and they fight with tenacity and anger, both taking one hell of a pounding, but finally the two women get an advantage and one of them hits him with whatever heavy or sharp object they have and the killer goes down.

After the fight, the two survivors are exhausted, express sorrow, simultaneous guilt and gratitude they’ve survived.

They think they’ve won the fight and limp through the house and take stock of the situation. They look for their phones and go back up to the second floor bedroom and continue looking for their other friends (Note: The killer will probably reveal the two dead bodies by this time, but, I haven’t worked these reveals out yet).

The killer comes back to life and begins quietly stalking the two survivors, until he makes a move attacking from behind and round two of the fight continues.

When the dust settles this time, the maid of honor and the killer both appear to be dead.

The bride-to-be sobs heavily as she caresses her best friend’s body, holding her tight to her chest.

But, then, she realizes the killer, the man she almost married, has come back to life again, grabbing her from behind and choking her, lifting her off her feet.

She struggles to break the hold, throwing elbows, reaching around to grab anything. She’s almost out of air and with one final effort, pokes him in the eye and he releases his grip. She rushes to the side of the bed and reaches for a baseball bat. She grabs it, but he grabs her and pulls her away, and she swings away at him and finally strikes a killing blow.

SCENE:

INT. ENTRYWAY – NIGHT

The killer re-enters the house. His slow walking seems to be unnaturally loud.

INT. FAMILY HOME (UPSTAIRS/DOWNSTAIRS) – NIGHT

Intercut as killer moves through the house and Samantha and Olivia’s reaction as they hear him hunting them down.

INT. UPSTAIRS BEDROOM CLOSET – NIGHT

Olivia and Sam hold their breath so they can hear. They try and keep their sobbing under control.

INT. DOWNSTAIRS – NIGHT

The killer opens every door and peers inside, slamming them shut for effect.

This process seems to take forever.

INT. DOWNSTAIRS OFFICE – NIGHT

The Killer stops at the open double door and peers inside

He steps into the office and slowly looks around. He sees the cluttered bookshelf, a shadowbox with a folded American flag, A Coast Guard poster, some other photos on the wall.

He pulls the chair away from the desk and looks underneath

It’s empty.

He deliberately turns around and walks into the downstairs hallway.

INT. UPSTAIRS BEDROOM CLOSET – NIGHT

Sam and Olivia, hold each other and listen carefully at the SOUND of FOOTSTEPS, now even LOUDER on a hardwood floor.

Suddenly, there’s a CRASHING SOUND from the kitchen.

This scares the shit of the two of them.

SAM/OLIVIA

(startled, terrified)

Aaahhh!

They realize their error and stifle their scream.

INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT

The killer HEARS their STIFLED SCREAM and cocks his head as if he’s trying to hear through the ceiling.

INT. BEDROOM CLOSET – NIGHT

Sam and Olivia are intertwined and hold their hand over the other’s mouth to keep them quiet.

INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT

The killer slowly walks out of the kitchen through the dining room door.

INT. DINING ROOM – NIGHT

The killer walks through the dining room into the adjacent living room.

INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

The killer walks through the living room and stops and looks at his tableau of the two dead bridesmaids.

He appears to be studying the image.

He then closes in on the two bodies and makes an adjustment on their positions.

INT. BEDROOM CLOSET – NIGHT

Sam and Olivia slowly remove their hands from the other’s mouth.

SAMANTHA

(mouthing the words)

Can you hear anything?

Olivia shakes her head, “no.”

INT. ENTRYWAY – NIGHT

The killer steps from the carpeted living room to the entryway with hardwood.

His footsteps sound like bolts of thunder.

INT. BEDROOM CLOSET – NIGHT

Olivia and Sam HEAR the FOOTSTEPS and can only wait, their terror mounting.

INT. STAIRWAY – NIGHT

The killer reaches the carpeted stairway, but the weight of each footstep is still deliberate but audible.

INT. BEDROOM CLOSET – DAY

Sam and Olivia listen to the approaching FOOTSTEPS and begin panicking.

Tears stream down their cheeks as they realize their days are probably numbered.

The FOOTSTEPS stop.

A long pause.

Suddenly…

The killer finds them and they are hysterical with fear and try and escape. But they can’t.

He blocks their escape and pushes them to the ground.

He stands over them and just stares.

ANGLE ON OLIVIA AND

Now that they are faced with the inevitability of their death, they look at each other and are surprisingly calm.

They accept their fate and resign themselves to the only option they have left.

They stand up and the killer waits for their move.

They turn their gaze to the killer and SCREAM their best REBEL YELL and attack.

Sam and Olivia fight with tenacity and anger. It’s a life and death struggle and they’re not giving up. Not yet, anyway.

The killer, however, doesn’t just give up. He fights with tenacity and, somehow, a discernible enjoyment.

Sam and Olivia take one hell of a pounding, but, their adrenaline kicks in and, finally, they get an advantage and momentarily stun the killer, stopping his attack.

Sam hits him with her old baseball bat that was laying on the floor.

The killer lunges towards the two grabbing them by the throat and starts choking them.

Then collapses on the floor.

They can’t believe they’re still alive. They’re exhausted, but still alive.

[John Garofolo]

John Garofolo’s Level One Horror Emotions

What I learned doing this assignment is about nuancing different levels of reactions/emotions.

Scene Outline

INT. BRIDE TO BE’S FAMILY HOME (VARIOUS ROOMS) – DAY

A GROUP OF SEVEN YOUNG WOMEN, 20’s and the bride-to-be’s STEP-MOTHER are getting ready for a family and friends co-ed bridal party. We learn about the characters through their discussion and are aware that the house is the family home of the bride-to-be and her step-mother, as well as see the group dynamics. After the dinner, they’re coming back to the house for an after-party with just the bride’s inner circle.

It’s October 30th.

The Master bedroom, bathroom, bride-to-be’s old bedroom and bathroom are crowded with garment bags, make-up kits and eight women trying to get ready to go out.

There are several occasions where the bride-to-be and other bridesmaids are startled by people innocently walking into a room and were unseen or unheard because of their laser focus on putting on hair and make-up or can’t hear because of a very LOUD BLOW DRYER.

There’s also a discussion triggered by a group of howling coyotes, which, apparently, have become more of a concern, due to more sightings in the neighborhoods and small dogs being attacked or just disappearing.

Just before they’re ready to leave, there’s a knock at the door. The bride-to-be and Maid of Honor answer the door and are surprised to see two adult sized trick-or-treaters a day early. One is dressed like Michael Meyers and the other is dressed like Jason Voorhees.

The bride-to-be is a little surprised when the two characters wordlessly put forth their pillow cases indicating they’d like a treat. The bride says, “aren’t you a little early for Halloween?” No answer. They push forth their bags.

A couple of the other bridesmaids join them at the front door and react to the early bird trick-or-treaters, scary looking costumes, apparent age.

The bride-to-be, tells the two to wait a minute and calls for someone to get some candy bars from the counter. One of the four at the door runs back toward the kitchen and returns in a few beats with a handful of candy bars and puts it in the two bags and cheerfully ends with “Happy Early Halloween, boys.”

Jason and Michael stand there for a moment before all the girls say “Happy Halloween.” in unison, when a chorus of coyote howls startle the bride-to-be and she shuts the door on them.

They all look at each other and say things like “that was weird,” pretty big teenagers,” “coyotes creep me out.”

*********

INT. SAMANTHA’S FAMILY HOME (VARIOUS ROOMS) – DAY

A GROUP OF SEVEN YOUNG WOMEN, 20’s and the bride-to-be’s STEP-MOTHER are getting ready for a family and friends co-ed bridal party.

The Master bedroom, bathroom, bride-to-be’s old bedroom and bathroom are crowded with garment bags, make-up kits and eight women trying to get ready to go out.

INT. SAM’S BATHROOM – DAY

SAMANTHA, “Sam”, early 20’s, the bride-to-be is blow-drying her hair in her childhood bathroom. She’s lost in the moment, focusing on her hair.

Suddenly, SARAH, early 20’s, one of the bridesmaid’s appears in the mirror and walks in the bathroom, startling Samantha, who jumps and lets out a small yelp.

SAMANTHA

Oh my God! I didn’t see you.

SARAH

I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you!

She rummages through a pile of makeup kits and hair brushes.

They can’t help but laugh.

SAMANTHA

(laughing)

You almost gave me a heart attack!

SARAH

I didn’t mean to. I just came to grab this.

She picks up a small make-up bag from the bathroom countertop.

SARAH

I’ll make more noise next time.

SAMANTHA

Thank you.

She exits.

Sam chuckles to herself and gets back to her hair.

INT. UPSTAIRS LANDING – DAY

Around the corner Sarah is whispering in the ear of OLIVIA, early 20’s, the bridesmaid and Sam’s best friend.

There’s clearly a conspiracy at work here.

Olivia motions for BROOKE, early 20’s who’s walking up the stairs to come over.

They whisper and make hand signals and finally make their move.

Olivia takes the lead with the other two girls close behind.

INT. SAM’S BATHROOM – DAY

Like before, Sam is deep in concentration, putting the finishing touches on her hair.

The three marauders suddenly jump into Sam’s view in the mirror and yell.

OLIVIA/SARAH/BROOKE

Gotcha!

Sam Screams.

The other three laugh like hyenas

SAMANTHA

Jesus Christ! I’m going to kill you.

The laughing continues.

OLIVIA

You can’t kill me. Who’s going to be your Maid of Honor?

SAMANTHA

Anybody, you rat bastard.

They laugh.

Their laughter is broken by the PIERCING SOUND of COYOTES HOWLING.

It SOUNDS like its right outside the bathroom window.

BROOKE

Whoa. What the hell’s that?

SAMANTHA

It’s just the coyotes.

BROOKE

(unnerved)

It sounds like they’re right outside.

SAMANTHA

They could be.

SARAH

Seriously?

SAMANTHA

Seriously.

OLIVIA

They’re just dogs.

Sarah and Brooke look a little nervous.

SAMANTHA

Don’t listen to her. They’re more afraid of you then you are of them. Unless you’re a little dog. Or get lost on dark trail in the middle of the night.

(A beat)

How do I look?

OLIVIA

You look great. I’m sure David will approve.

There’s a knock on the door.

OLIVIA

(yelling)

Can someone get the door?

INT. DOWNSTAIRS BATHROOM

Three girls, TORIE, JULIA and SARAH, early 20’s, are crowded in the bathroom.

TORIE

I’ll get it.

She heads out to the front door.

INT./EXT. ENTRYWAY – DUSK

Torie pulls the door open without looking and sees two adult-sized figures, one dressed like Michael Meyers from Halloween and Jason Voorhees from Friday the 13th stare back at her.

At first, Torie’s a little puzzled and then yells into the house.

TORIE

There’s two trick or treaters. What should I do?

INT. SAM’S BATHROOM – DUSK

Sam, Olivia and Brooke AD LIB surprise.

INT. UPSTAIRS LANDING – DUSK

Olivia runs over to the stairs and looks down at Torie and the open door.

She can see the two trick-or-treaters standing there, Torie wondering what to do and Julia running over to the front door to see what’s going on.

INT./EXT. ENTRYWAY – DUSK

TORIE

You guys are a little early. Halloween’s tomorrow.

The two trick-or-treaters wordlessly put their bags out.

JULIA

Great costumes guys, but aren’t you a little old for trick-or-treating?

TORIE

Don’t be rude, Julia. My brother was six-two when he was thirteen.

(yelling)

Sam! Do you have any Halloween candy?

The two trick-or-treaters put their bags out again.

Olivia joins the group and looks out at the two. It’s getting a little awkward now.

OLIVIA

I know where it is.

She exits.

INT. UPSTAIRS LANDING – DUSK

Sam goes to the stairs and looks to see the trick or treaters.

The Master Bedroom door opens and Sam’s step-mother, KAITLYN, early 40’s, attractive, rushes through.

KAITLYN

Did someone say trick-or-treaters? I want to see them.

She runs down the stairs into the entryway and Sam watches her go to the door and peak out.

INT./EXT. ENTRYWAY – DUSK

KAITLYN

Wow. Look at you two. Great costume boys.

The trick-or-treaters lift their bags up again.

Olivia pushes through the group and drops a handful of candy into each of the bags.

The two trick-or-treaters turn and walk away without saying a word.

Everyone is a little unsettled by the strange encounter.

OLIVIA

(yelling)

It’s okay if you say, thank you!

TORIE

Chill out Olivia, their just awkward teenage boys.

KAITLYN

They probably just need to get laid.

The younger women can only cringe.

PIERCING YELPS from a pack of coyotes startles them and Julia slams the door shut.

[John Garofolo]

John Garofolo’s Outline

What I learned is that I still have a few holes to fill.

OUTLINE

Act I – Set up for Horror

INT. CROWDED BAR, OAK PARK, IL – NIGHT

A YOUNG MAN and YOUNG WOMAN are clearly connecting. They finish their drinks, put on their coats and walk out the bar.

EXT. SIDEWALK, OAK PARK, IL – NIGHT

The couple walk arm in arm and continue flirting. They stop at an apartment building and kiss passionately before entering the building.

INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT

The couple enters the bedroom and continue kissing and tearing clothes off and begin making love.

They don’t notice the presence that is in the apartment and watching from the partially open door. Suddenly the door bursts open by a figure in shadow. The couple reason with the figure, apologize, try to calm things down. Reason turns to pleading. The young man attempts an escape.

The figure (POV) strangles the male lover . The girl, screaming in terror tries to escape.

She’s caught by the Shadowy figure and slowly strangled to death and then thrown back on the bed. Her lifeless face stares.

The murderer escapes.

Dissolve to detectives at the crime scene opines they couple must have been caught having sex and probably killed by a jealous boyfriend.

FIVE YEARS LATER…

INT. BRIDE TO BE’S FAMILY HOME (VARIOUS ROOMS) – DAY

A group of young women are getting ready for a family and friends co-ed bridal party . We learn about the characters through their discussion and are aware that the house is the family home of the bride-to-be and her step-mother. The plan is to a family and friends bridal shower dinner and come back to the house for an after-party with just the bride’s inner circle. (NOTE: There’s a lot in this sequence—it will reveal the characters and relationship back stories).

INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT

We meet the fiancé and learn more about the characters. He’s quiet, but makes an effort to interact with the guests.

An old boyfriend shows up and corners the bride-to-be to tell her not to get married.

The only one who “sees” the monster: He asks if he can talk to the bride-to-be. She reluctantly agrees. He tells her she’s making a big mistake…there’s something off about her fiancé.

She doesn’t believe him and it’s getting awkward now. The Maid of Honor and several of the bridesmaids circle around the two of them. The bride-to-be tells the ex-boyfriend that it’s pretty despicable for him to trash talk her fiancé like that and she tells him to leave.

The old boyfriend leaves. But before he gets in his car, he sees the groom-to-be glaring at him in a way that gives him the chills.

(Alternate second scene–As the old boyfriend drives off, the groom (looking pretty angry) chases after the car for a moment, then goes back to the restaurant and returns to the party as if nothing happened.

(The bride-to-be probably asks him what he was doing out there and he replies nothing, acting perfectly normal)

The party guests have all left by now and the bridal party heads for the bride-to-be’s home.

OLD BOYFRIEND’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

A little later, the old boyfriend has returned to his apartment. There’s a knock at the door.

He opens the door, recognizes whomever is there and looks surprised/afraid, “ what the hell are you doing here?” The figure (POV) pushes the old boyfriend back and steps into the apartment. The sounds of a scuffle are apparent…then silence

Act 2 – The Point of No Return

EXT. BRIDE-TO-BE’S FAMILY HOME – NIGHT

The bridal party goes back to the suburban house for the real party to open up the presents not suitable for family and friends outside the bridal party to see. The bridesmaid’s cars fill up the long drive way and they chit-chat on the way into the house.

INT. BRIDE-TO-BE’S FAMILY HOME (DOWNSTAIRS) – NIGHT

The party continues inside the house, primarily in the kitchen, dining and living rooms, where they are seated and opening up the rest of the presents and getting more drinks.

We learn more about the dynamics, relationships and underlying pettiness between the characters (of particular importance is the discussion that the groom-to-be was adamant about no sex before marriage).

The bride’s step mother, collects everyone’s cell phones to make sure that no evidence of the party gets out and car keys to make sure no one can leave or drive while intoxicated.

They open the presents and talk further about the wedding, honeymoon with some corny sex jokes thrown in to embarrass the bride to be. The presents include sexy lingerie, handcuffs and an extra large vibrator.

The groom-to-be shows up a little later, bringing an expensive bottle of champagne. AT this point, everybody’s happy. While the level of intoxication/impairment isn’t a the level of being fall-down drunk, they’re mostly coherent, but clearly impaired, which will impact their decision-making and ability to plan and execute their escapes when needed.

That being said, the groom-to-be seems perfectly sober and the step mother of the bride-to-becomes an obnoxious drunk. The girls convince her it’s finally time for her to go to bed (and she’s intoxicated enough to get past the point of being argumentative.

INT. MASTER BEDROOM (UPSTAIRS) – NIGHT

When she gets into the master bedroom, the groom-to-be comes out of the master bathroom, apologizing profusely for startling her

The step-mother tells the groom-to-be to stay, flirting, then, seducing him. At first, he tries to politely escape, but she persists and eventually, they end up on the bed, with the groom-to-be on top of her. When she reaches down and grabs between his legs, she literally flips a switch and the seduction turns deadly. First, he tears at her clothes (which, at first, she thinks is merely rough sex play and reacts as such), then he paws at he body, getting rougher and then grabs her throat as she finally grasps the fact that this isn’t a game. Panic sets in and she fights to tear his hands from around her throat, thrashing her body wildly, to no avail. She’s slowly strangled to death.

The monster is now unleashed.

MIDPOINT

INT. FAMILY HOME (LIVING ROOM) – NIGHT

While the murder occurs, the party continued downstairs.

From this point on the monster engages in a cat and mouse game with the victims, who still aren’t aware that anything is going wrong. One of the bridesmaids decides to go use one of the upstairs bathrooms since the downstairs bathroom is occupied. She goes up stairs and snoops around, deciding to go into the Master Bedroom.

INT. MASTER BEDROOM (UPSTAIRS) – NIGHT

The room is empty, no sight of either the step-mother or killer. She looks around at things on the dresser, picks up a framed picture of the step-mother (perhaps, a boudoir photo), meanders through the room and enters the bathroom.

(Maybe there’s a shot of the step-mother’s lifeless body with eyes still open shoved under the bed looking out, seen by the audience, but not the nosy bridesmaid)

The groom-to-be walks out of the closet wearing a dark trench coat and startles her. She nervously starts to stammer and chatter until she notices he’s carrying a gas mask.

He notices her looking at the gas mask, gives her an evil grin and pushes the bathroom door closed and pounces on her, grabbing her throat with his free hand and strangles her to death (alternate: he wrestles her into the bathtub and chokes her while water from the faucet pours on her face). In either case, the victim’ reactions move from surprise, to panic, then terror as she realizes she’s going to die.

When the groom-to-be finishes the murder, he stands in front of the mirror, looking at himself with a now, permanently etched, evil grin, putting on the gas mask and saying something like, “He’s back.” These will be the last words the killer speaks from now on.

INT. FAMILY HOME (DOWNSTAIRS) LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

The rest of the partiers are still not aware they’re in danger.

INT. FAMILY HOME – NIGHT

PLACEHOLDER for third murder and monster reveal.

Reaction: panic, terror, fighting back, this time there’s some NOISE that alerts the bridal party that’s something’s very wrong.

They investigate to see what’s going on.

They go to the master bedroom and find the bride-to-be’s mother (step-mother), maybe positioned on the bed telegraphing it was a murder. They finally know they’re in big trouble.

They are disgusted, horrified, traumatized. But, they still have to solve the mystery. They look for their friends and fiancé.

The bride-to-be is devastated that her fiancé may have been killed or is the killer.

They can’t find their cell phones and can’t call 911, because the landline isn’t working, either. They realize they’re on their own.

Act III- Full out Horror

INT. FAMILY HOME (DOWNSTAIRS) – NIGHT

While they’re looking for their phones, keys and other victims, Bridesmaid #3 runs outside to the closest neighbor’s house for help.

EXT. FAMILY HOME/NEIGHBOR’S HOME -NIGHT

There’s no answer at the neighbors house, as she screams and knocks on the door. She knocks again, pleading. But there’s still no answer.

She’s grabbed from behind by the killer and choked, but she manages to break free and tries to run back to the house, but is disoriented from the choking, she trips and staggers through the side gate (thinking she can escape the killer), trips again, but gets up and staggers through the second gate into a long side yard backing up against a hill.

She’s pursued by the killer who doesn’t run, but methodically walks toward as she tries to escape, first by trying to climb over a wrought iron fence, but, pauses when she hears a pack of coyotes howling nearby.

The killer reaches for her and pulls her back and lets her escape. She can’t move very fast but keeps going as she looks over her shoulder and sees the killer pursuing her.

She reaches a small gate going into the backyard, but can’t seem to open it and climbs over the sharp pickets.

INT./EXT. FAMILY HOME – NIGHT

Back inside the house, the rest of the bridal party continues searching the house looking for their other dead friend and the fiancé.

They’re so afraid, they spook themselves, while they do their awkward search.

They’re all downstairs and decide to get out while they can and go to the front door to join their friend, who they think has gotten help. But they can’t open the front door, it’s jammed shut and try and push the door open with no luck.

In the meantime, the other bridesmaid gets to the slider and starts pounding on it, causing the bridesmaids inside the house to run to the family room.

When they flip the light switch, illuminating the back yard, they see the killer standing right there, holding their friend who has a terrified expression on her face (makeup streaming down her face from her tears). Now that he has an audience, the killer strangles her while the girls inside the house, frozen in fear, watch in horror.

The killer drops the body to the ground and walks out of view. The four remaining survivors now decide to stay inside the house and hide since they can’t get outside and they can’t call for help.

INT. FAMILY HOME (UPSTAIRS AND DOWNSTAIRS)

The survivors split up and hide inside the house, one pair going upstairs the other remaining downstairs.

The killer is somehow inside the house without making any noise. He stalks and finds the two panic-stricken survivors hiding downstairs as they try and make their escape

The bride-to-be and Maid of Honor, still in hiding, know their friends have been killed: and are riddled with panic, sorrow, guilt and shame.

Now, the bride-to-be and the Maid of Honor are faced with a decision: fight or make a run for it.

The killer turns off all lights in the house and begins hunting for the remaining two.

The two survivors are terrified, but resign themselves to the fact that they have to fight to survive.

The killer moves through the house, opening doors, peering inside, slamming them shut (for effect) He finds them waiting for him and they fight with tenacity and anger, both taking one hell of a pounding, but finally the two women get an advantage and one of them hits him with whatever heavy or sharp object they have and the killer goes down.

After the fight, the two survivors are exhausted, express sorrow, simultaneous guilt and gratitude they’ve survived.

They think they’ve won the fight and limp through the house and take stock of the situation. They look for their phones and go back up to the second floor bedroom and continue looking for their other friends (Note: The killer will probably reveal the two dead bodies by this time, but, I haven’t worked these reveals out yet).

The killer comes back to life and begins quietly stalking the two survivors, until he makes a move attacking from behind and round two of the fight continues.

When the dust settles this time, the maid of honor and the killer both appear to be dead.

The bride-to-be sobs heavily as she caresses her best friend’s body, holding her tight to her chest.

But, then, she realizes the killer, the man she almost married, has come back to life again, grabbing her from behind and choking her, lifting her off her feet.

She struggles to break the hold, throwing elbows, reaching around to grab anything. She’s almost out of air and with one final effort, pokes him in the eye and he releases his grip. She rushes to the side of the bed and reaches for a baseball bat. She grabs it, but he grabs her and pulls her away, and she swings away at him and finally strikes a killing blow.

It’s finally over. There’s no joy. Just survival.

***********

But, everyone knows that somehow the killer’s not really dead…at least not yet.

Alternate ending or epilogue: When it’s all over and the first police arrive on scene, they find the fiancé dazed, handcuffed with legs tied at the ankle in a closet in a room that hadn’t been checked. It turns out that the twin brother, who had some serious mental health issues came to town to confront his brother for not inviting him to the wedding. The two had had a fight and he was blindsided with a knockout shot to the chin. He was disoriented and ended up on the closet floor.

After he’s reunited with the bride-to-be, the two walk away from the camera, but after a few steps, he turns to the camera and gives it a disturbing, evil grin.

[John Garofolo]

John Garofolo’s Character Journey Track

What I learned from this assignment is the necessity of individual character traits in helping to define character and create a realistic group of unique individuals

A. Character Profile – Step-mother

1. Role: Carrier (Triggers the monster. First at party to die)

2. Traits: A little obnoxious

3. Fears: Aging/losing her looks

4. Wants/Needs: Needs to be the center of attention and still sexy

5. Likability/Rooting Factors: Except for trying to seduce the groom-to-be (too much to drink), has generally been pretty helpful to her step-daughter

6. How they react under stress: surprise, shock, horror

7. Relationships with other characters:

B. Character Journey:

1. Character Intro: Getting ready for the party…checking clothes and make-up of bridal party

2. Denial: She doesn’t have time to be in denial for long

3. Reaction at first horror: Shock, then trying to tear the killer’s hands from her throat

4. Relation to group after first horror: She’s dead

5. How they fight back: Try’s to break the killer’s grip, wild strikes and kicks

6. End point:

7. Insights their death (or survival) brings to the others/audience: Not a good idea to have sex with the groom at your step-daughter’s shower

A. Character Profile – Bride-to-be

1. Role: Leader, Rescuer

2. Traits: She’s the bride-to-be so she’s stressed, worries about everything, but is smart, resilient and a good, caring person (maybe a little bit of an introvert)

3. Fears: The wedding won’t be perfect (and her husband-to-be will change)

4. Wants/Needs: She wants to be loved, needs to come out of her shell

5. Likability/Rooting Factors: She’s a good person. Who doesn’t love a bride?

6. How they react under stress: At first bewildered, shocked, afraid, at the end, a steely resolve

7. Relationships with other characters:

B. Character Journey: Runs the gamut from victim to vindicator

1. Character Intro: At her house getting ready for the party

2. Denial: First thought, “this cant’ be happening.”

3. Reaction at first horror: once she realizes what’s happening, initial shock

4. Relation to group after first horror: like everyone else is afraid and wants to hide or escape

5. How they fight back: Once she realizes that there’s no way out, she takes charge

6. End point: She kills the monster, avenging the deaths of her friends.

7. Insights their death (or survival) brings to the others/audience: We’re all stronger and more resourceful/resilient than we think we are.

A. Character Profile – Maid of Honor

1. Role: Rescuer

2. Traits: In some ways, she’s the younger version of the step-mother

3. Fears: That people will find out she’s not as confident as she projects

4. Wants/Needs: She wants her friend to have the wedding of her dreams

5. Likability/Rooting Factors: She’s a loyal friend who will give her life

6. How they react under stress: Shock, disbelief, than resolve to save her friends

7. Relationships with other characters:

B. Character Journey: She’s her best friend’s compass, confidante and later saviour

1. Character Intro: With the bride-to-be getting ready for the party

2. Denial: This can’t be real

3. Reaction at first horror: Shock, terror

4. Relation to group after first horror: She’s the bride-to-be’s support and reminder that they can do anything together

5. How they fight back: She is willing to go toe-to-toe with the monster

6. End point: last one killed by the monster. Her death propels the bride-to-be to kill the monster once and for all.

7. Insights their death (or survival) brings to the others/audience: Sometimes the best don’t always survive

A. Character Profile – Bridesmaid #1

1. Role: Complainer

2. Traits: A know-it-all and skeptic who criticizes ever action and reaction

3. Fears: that she’s going to die

4. Wants/Needs: to not die

5. Likability/Rooting Factors: She gets on the audience’s nerves

6. How they react under stress: even more critical

7. Relationships with other characters:

B. Character Journey:

1. Character Intro: Getting ready for the party, probably hanging with the step-mother and complaining

2. Denial: She maybe the one that thinks something is going on (since she’s a contrarian)

3. Reaction at first horror: probably panic

4. Relation to group after first horror: becomes more annoying

5. How they fight back: hide behind everyone else

6. End point: Begs for her life (maybe offers a sex act in exchange for not getting killed)

7. Insights their death (or survival) brings to the others/audience: no one’s happy about it, but the audience may not be as broken up about it as some of the others.

A. Character Profile – Bridesmaid #2

1. Role: Innocent

2. Traits: Maybe the youngest and most naive

3. Fears: everything

4. Wants/Needs: wants to be accepted as a full member of the group

5. Likability/Rooting Factors: Youth and naivetivity

6. How they react under stress:

7. Relationships with other characters: treated somewhat dismissively

B. Character Journey:

1. Character Intro: Getting ready for the party

2. Denial: yes, but, deep down, thinks things are wrong

3. Reaction at first horror: Constantly stating that everything is okay

4. Relation to group after first horror: They probably get a little annoyed

5. How they fight back: Maybe run before getting killed

6. End point:

7. Insights their death (or survival) brings to the others/audience:

A. Character Profile – Bridesmaid #3

1. Role: Innocent

2. Traits: She tries to make light of things (gallows humor)

3. Fears: Dying

4. Wants/Needs: to not die

5. Likability/Rooting Factors: not a bad or annoying person

6. How they react under stress: fear, apprehension, then terror

7. Relationships with other characters:

B. Character Journey:

1. Character Intro: Getting ready for the party crowded in a bathroom with #3 and #5

2. Denial: Yes

3. Reaction at first horror: This isn’t happening, maybe cracks an unfunny joke

4. Relation to group after first horror: No change

5. How they fight back: They don’t

6. End point: The monster finds and kills her

7. Insights their death (or survival) brings to the others/audience: The monster takes his killing very seriously.

A. Character Profile – Bridesmaid #4

1. Role: Innocent

2. Traits: She’s very smart

3. Fears: People don’t like her because she’s really smart.

4. Wants/Needs: To be liked and accepted

5. Likability/Rooting Factors: She’s really smart, but not really conceited about it

6. How they react under stress: Tries to find a rational solution

7. Relationships with other characters: Good, they like her (even if they really are intimidated by her intelligence).

B. Character Journey:

1. Character Intro: Getting ready for party in a crowded bathroom with #3 and #5

2. Denial: Maybe, but first, but, she’s smart enough to realize they’re toast

3. Reaction at first horror: shock, momentarily composed, terror

4. Relation to group after first horror: Probably good, since now they realize it’s helpful to have someone smart helping to solve a problem

5. How they fight back: Hiding, fighting back when there’s no other choice

6. End point: hunted and killed by the monster

7. Insights their death (or survival) brings to the others/audience: Being the smartest person in the room doesn’t guarantee survival.

A. Character Profile – Bridesmaid #5

1. Role: Moral one

2. Traits: Maybe is the most religious of the group

3. Fears: Maybe nothing if she puts her hands in God

4. Wants/Needs: To not have to test her faith

5. Likability/Rooting Factors: She’s a nice, sincere, young woman

6. How they react under stress: maybe prays out loud

7. Relationships with other characters: they put up with her

B. Character Journey:

1. Character Intro: Getting ready for the party in a crowded bathroom with bridesmaids 3 and 4.

2. Denial: Like everyone else

3. Reaction at first horror: once she realizes the inevitable, she’s rightfully scared, but tries to rely on her faith

4. Relation to group after first horror: probably okay, but there may be some eye-rolling

5. How they fight back: when it comes right down to it, she’s terrified and doesn’t want to die.

6. End point: The monster finds her and kills her

7. Insights their death (or survival) brings to the others/audience: faith does not guarantee survival.

[John Garofolo]

Assignment #7: Monster Reveal Track

John Garofolo’s Monster Reveal Track

What I learned from this assignment is to make sure your character reveals help reveal something about your character to help your characters and audience solve the “why” question (why is this happening?)

1. A.) Who is your monster and what is their terror?

The monster is an early-twenties tall, good-looking, boy next-door who may have an altar boy, was raised by an overly religious mother who regarded sex as evil and probably shamed the monster when he was developing as a mature, sexual being, using basic pscycho mother mind-fuckery, some physical abuse and encouraged a general unhealthy attitude about sex. This led to confusion as the boy entered high school and had to deal with his own sexuality (and normal teenage desire) and the attitude that sex was sinful.

When he was in late high school or early college, he walked in on his girlfriend (who he and she had agreed on saving themselves for marriage) having sex with another boy. This triggered the psychopath in waiting.

Of course, the character reveal is just a young man and woman getting brutally murdered after getting caught in the act by someone who didn’t want to see that.

The Monster’s terror is to punish any kind of expression of sexuality directed toward him (and once triggered, anyone associated with the transgressor will be killed as well).

His powers are: keen intelligence, stealth, speed, strength and an eerie ability to seem to be in multiple places almost simultaneously. Also, once triggered, not bothered in the least by killing people

Limitiations: Is not supernatural and, thus, is limited by the environment and materials around him (he can only kill with his bare hands or implements he finds in the physical space where the murders take place).

Weaknesses: Assumes invincibility and the inability of his victims to pose a threat.

Plan/Purpose/Appetite: No particular plan, since he’s triggered by circumstances that he can’t predict and the person who triggers is unaware of the danger. Once triggered, the frenzy continues until everyone in his environment is dead. The appetite then goes away and the psychopathic killer is dormant. Has a preference for towns called “Oak Park” since that was where his first murder took place.

OUTLINE

Act I – Set up for Horror

Atmosphere of Evil: A brutal murder of a young man and woman takes place in Oak Park, Illinois.

Horror Situation: A young man and woman are having sex when the door is pushed open by a figure (POV). (First Monster reveal: The audience never sees the monster’s face or hears his voice)

Reaction: The couple reason with the figure, apologize, try to calm things down. Reason turns to pleading. The male attempts an escape.

Horror Situation: The figure strangles the male lover.

Reaction: Terror, screaming. The girl tries to escape.

Horror situation: She’s caught and slowly strangled to death by the figure and then thrown back on the bed. Her lifeless face stares.

The murderer escapes. Dissolve to detectives at the crime scene saying they couple was caught having sex and probably killed by a boyfriend (maybe on Halloween)

Connect with the Characters: Oak Park, California, Five years later. A group of young women are getting ready for a nice suburban party. We learn about the characters through their discussion and are aware that there going to a bridal shower and will come back to the house for an after-party.

The characters are warned: We meet the fiancé and learn more about the characters. An old boyfriend shows up and corners the bride-to-be to tell her not to get married.

The only one who “sees” the monster: He tells her there’s something off with him.

Reaction: Denial.

Denial of Horror: After the Maid of Honor and several of the bridesmaids intervene, the bride-to-be tells him that it’s pretty despicable for him to trash talk her fiancé like that and she tells him to leave.

Safety taken away: The old boyfriend leaves. But before he gets in his car, he sees the groom-to-be glaring at him in a way that gives him the chills.

Horror situation: As he drives off, the groom (looking pretty angry) chases after the car for a moment, then goes back to the restaurant and returns to the party as if nothing happened. (Monster Reveal—still uncertain…could be just a rightfully angry fiancé)

(She probably asks him what he was doing out there and he replies nothing, acting perfectly normal)

Monster–Nature of the beast: A little later, the old boyfriend has returned to his apartment. There’s a knock at the door.

Reaction: He opens the door, recognizes whomever is there and looks surprised/afraid, “ what the hell are you doing here?” The figure (POV) pushes the old boyfriend, steps in the apartment. The sounds of a scuffle are apparent…then silence. (Monster Reveal: Unclear who is knocking on the door. It could be our fiancé, it could be someone else)

Act 2 – The Point of No Return

Isolated/Trapped/Abducted: The bridal party goes back to the suburban house (Horror situation: Isolation) for the real party to open up the presents not suitable for family and friends outside the bridal party to see. We learn more about the dynamics between the characters (of particular importance is the discussion that the groom-to-be was adamant about no sex before marriage).

Horror situation: Not quite trapped, but a little more isolated and less options for getting help. The mother (step-mother) collects all the cell phones to make sure that no evidence of the party gets out and car keys to make sure no one drive while intoxicated.

The groom-to-be shows up a little later, bringing an expensive bottle of champagne. Everybody’s happy.

Horror situation: Probably a little too much drinking for an after party.

Reaction: While they’re coherent, they’re definitely impaired, which will impact their decision-making and ability to plan and execute an escape Also, denial. Except for the groom-to-be who is perfectly sober and the mother (step mother) of the bride-to-be who is an obnoxious drunk.

Horror situation: Isolating the mother (step-mother) and Monster approaching. The girls convince her it’s finally time for her to go to bed and when she gets into the master bedroom, the groom-to-be comes out of the master bathroom, apologizing profusely.

One of us killed:

Horror situation: Face-to-face with the monster. The mother (step-mother) tells him to stay, then starts seducing the groom-to-be, who tries to politely escape, but she persists and eventually, they end up on the bed, with the groom-to-be on top of her. When she reaches down and grabs between his legs, she literally flips a switch and the seduction turns deadly, first he tears at he clothes, paws her and then strangles her to death. The monster is now unleashed.

(Monster Reveal—this is the first concrete reveal of the monster doing monstrous things)

Reaction: Terror, Panic as she’s slowly strangled to death.

MIDPOINT

Horror situations: Impending doom. From this point on the monster engages in a cat and mouse game with the victims, who still aren’t aware that anything is wrong (so their Reaction is nothing-denial).

Horror situation: The second victim is killed and hidden. (Monster Reveal)

Reaction: Surprise, panic, terror as she realizes she’s going to die. (The rest of the partiers are still not aware they’re in danger (Denial).

Horror situation: A third victim is killed (Monster Reveal)

Reaction: panic, terror, fighting back, making some noise.

Horror situation: Because of the noise made in this killing the survivors finally realize something’s going on.

Reaction: Try to solve it and see what’s going on.

Horror situation: They go to the master bedroom and see the bride-to-be’s mother (step-mother). They finally know they’re in big trouble.

Reaction: They are disgusted, horrified, traumatized. But, they still have to solve the mystery. They look for their friends and fiancé, who they now assume may be dead too.

They find the second victim’s body

They can’t find their cell phones and can’t call 911, because the landline isn’t working, either.

Act III- Full out Horror

Fight to the death:

Horror situation: One of them runs outside to the closest neighbor’s house for help.

Reaction: There’s no answer, as she screams and knocks on the door. She knocks again, pleading. But there’s still no answer.

Horror situation: She’s grabbed from behind and strangled to death. The figure carries her body across the shared driveway toward the house, but goes through the front gate to the side of the house into a dark side yard. (Monster Reveal)

Horror situation: Back inside the house, the girls slowly search the house looking for their other dead friend and the fiancé.

Reaction: They’re so afraid, they spook themselves, while they do their awkward search.

They decide to get out while they can and get out the front door to join their friend who they think has gotten help. But they can’t open the front door, it’s jammed shut so they run back to toward the slider in the family room, but when they flip the light switch, the killer is standing there with the body of the girl he just killed.* (Monster Reveal)

Reaction: Panic, hysteria. The four remaining survivors decide to stay inside the house, and hide since they can’t get outside and they can’t call for help.

*Alternate, the girl’s not dead yet and he strangles her as the girls helplessly watch in terror. Alternate 2, he slices the throat of the girl as the others watch in terror.

Reaction: Helplessly watch in terror.

Horror situation: But, the killer can get inside. And he does, stalking, finding and killing two more survivors as they try and escape from the killer. (Monster Reveal).

Reaction of the two victims: Escape, panic, hysteria.

Reaction of the two survivors still in hiding who know their friends have been killed: panic, sorrow, guilt, shame.

Now, just the bride-to-be and the Maid of Honor are still alive.

The thrilling escape from death:

Horror situation: Face to face with the monster. The killer turns off all lights in the house and stalks the remaining two. (Monster Reveal)

Reaction: Terror, resigned to the fact that they have to fight to survive.

Horror situation: He finds them and they fight like hell, both taking one hell of a pounding, but finally they get an advantage and one hits him with whatever heavy or sharp object they have and the killer goes down.

Reaction: During the fight, tenacity, anger.

Reaction after the fight: Exhaustion, sorrow, simultaneous guilt and gratitude they’ve survived.

Death returns to take one or more:

Horror situation: Friends in Danger. Impending Doom. They think they’ve won. They limp through the house and take stock the toll. They look for their phones and go back up to the second floor bedroom and continue looking for the fiance. But, the killer comes from behind and round two of the fight continues. (Monster Reveal)

Reaction: Fighting fury.

But, another one bites the dust. This time the maid of honor and the groom-to-be appear to be dead.

Reaction: The bride-to-be sobs heavily as she caresses her best friend’s body, holding her tight to her chest.

Resolution:

Horror situation: Injured, debilitated, Tricked. But, then, she realizes the killer is the man she almost married, comes back, grabs her from behind and starts choking her, lifting her off her feet. (Monster Reveal)

Reaction: Fight to the death.

She struggles to break the hold, throwing elbows, reaching around to grab anything. She’s almost out of air and with one final effort, pokes him in the eye and he releases his grip. She rushes to the side of the bed and reaches for a baseball bat. She grabs it, but he grabs her and pulls her away, and she swings away at him and finally strikes a killing blow.

Reaction: It’s over. There’s no joy. Just survival.

But, everyone knows that somehow the killer’s not really dead…at least not yet.

Alternate ending: When it’s all over and the first police are on scene. They find the fiancé dazed, handcuffed with legs tied at the ankle in a closet in a room that hadn’t been checked. It turns out that the twin brother, who had some serious mental health issues came to town to confront his brother for not inviting him to the wedding. The two had had a fight and he was blindsided with a knockout shot to the chin. He was disoriented and he ended up in the closet.

Horror situation: Walking into a trap, working with someone, who becomes the evil one. After he’s reunited with the bride-to-be, the two walk away from the camera, but after a few steps, he turns to the camera and gives it a disturbing, evil grin. (Monster Reveal: If I do go this direction this is the real monster reveal).

[John Garofolo]

John Garofolo’s character deaths

What I learned from this assignment is the importance (for me, with my particular story) is to find unique aspects of strangulations, smothering and other quiet deaths (for most of the murders).

Prologue Character Death 1: Killer’s girlfriend

Why: Because she was cheating on her boyfriend and is caught in the act (and, unbeknownst to her, her boyfriend is a murderous psychopath.

How: choking (maybe stabbing or hit with a hammer or other tool)

Prologue Character Death 2: Killer’s girlfriend’s lover

Why: Because he was cheating with the girlfriend of a murderous psychopath who had the misfortune of getting caught in the act by said murderous psychopath

How: Strangulation (maybe stabbing or hit with a hammer or other tool)

Main story characters

Possible Character Death 1: Bride-to-be’s old boyfriend

Why: Because he had the bad manners to show up at the friend and family wedding shower dinner and try to talk the bride-to-be to get away from her creepy boyfriend (who, unbeknownst to him is a murderer).

Character Death 2: Stepmother

Why: Because she thought it might be a good idea to seduce her step-daughter’s husband to be (and she had no idea he was a murderer)

How: Choked to death in a very long draw out process and maybe having a knife stuck somewhere it help speed up the death)—it takes places either during, after or connected to their having sex.

Character Death 3: Bridesmaid #1 (the Innocent?)

Why: Because she wanted to use the master bedroom bathroom for more privacy and walked into the aftermath of the first murder.

How: The killer hides in the closet when he hears the door open and kills her after she emerges from the toilet room, grabbing her from behind and strangling her.

Character Death 4: Bridesmaid #2

Why: Because she offers to go upstairs and see what happened to the groom to be, the step mother and bridesmaid number two.

How: I’m thinking she see’s a body in the bathtub and is pounced on by the killer, who strangles her or breaks her neck.

Character Death 5: Bridesmaid #3

Why: Because she decides to make a run for the neighbor’s house to call for help, but is caught by the killer.

How: First he strangles her. She fights and manages to escape, she runs back to the house through the side gate, trips and hurts herself, is almost caught by the killer and gets to a long, narrow, dark part of the yard, up against a hill (there are coyotes nearby that are barking and howling very loudly), The killer catches up with her and she manages to kick him and get away, tries to climb the fence, but is caught and dragged through the dark yard to sliding back door (the killer knocks on the slider as he holds the girl by the throat and the rest of the wedding party watch in horror as their friend is killed (strangled and maybe killed with a pair garden shears).

From here, the rest of the bridal party try and escape from the front door, which is somehow locked from the outside. The killer manages to get back in the house and the four remaining women try and hide from the killer in the now-darkened house (lights out).

Character Death 6: Bridesmaid #4

Why: Because the killer found her hiding spot

How: the killer grabs the terrified girl and strangles her. Bridesmaid #5 tries to fight him off, but he’s able to get a good punch in that drops her to the ground. He turns his attention to Bridesmaid #4 and continues strangling her to death.

Character Death 7: Bridesmaid #5

Why: Because the killer found her hiding spot

How: See above. After he kills Bridesmaid #4 he comes back to Bridesmaid #5, who is trying to catch her breath and escape. But he grabs her and throws het to the ground a couple of times (which the other two women hiding in a different room can hear, and can conclude they’re next.). I’m thinking maybe he can kick and stomp Bridesmaid #5 to death.

Character Death 8: Maid of Honor (or possibly, Bride-to-Be)

Why: Because the Maid of Honor and Bride-to-be conclude that the only way they’re surviving is if they kill the killer.

How: In the fight for survival, the Bride-to-be is injured, the Maid of Honor is mortally wounded (but alive for a final minute with her friend) and the killer is dead (But, he’s really not and comes back for the final round with the Bride-to-be).

[John Garofolo]

John Garofolo’s Horror Situation

What I learned from this assignment is to think through the scenes to make sure they were delivering enough horror to carry the story.

Act I – Set up for Horror

Atmosphere of Evil: A brutal murder of a young man and woman takes place in Oak Park, Illinois.

Horror Situation: A young man and woman are having sex when the door is pushed open by a figure (POV).

Reaction: The couple reason with the figure, apologize, try to calm things down. Reason turns to pleading. The male attempts an escape.

Horror Situation: The figure strangles the male lover.

Reaction: Terror, screaming. The girl tries to escape.

Horror situation: She’s caught and slowly strangled to death by the figure and then thrown back on the bed. Her lifeless face stares.

The murderer escapes. Dissolve to detectives at the crime scene saying they couple was caught having sex and probably killed by a boyfriend (maybe on Halloween)

Connect with the Characters: Oak Park, California, Five years later. A group of young women are getting ready for a nice suburban party. We learn about the characters through their discussion and are aware that there going to a bridal shower and will come back to the house for an after-party.

The characters are warned: We meet the fiancé and learn more about the characters. An old boyfriend shows up and corners the bride-to-be to tell her not to get married.

The only one who “sees” the monster: He tells her there’s something off with him.

Reaction: Denial.

Denial of Horror: After the Maid of Honor and several of the bridesmaids intervene, the bride-to-be tells him that it’s pretty despicable for him to trash talk her fiancé like that and she tells him to leave.

Safety taken away: The old boyfriend leaves. But before he gets in his car, he sees the groom-to-be glaring at him in a way that gives him the chills.

Horror situation: As he drives off, the groom (looking pretty angry) chases after the car for a moment, then goes back to the restaurant and returns to the party as if nothing happened.

(She probably asks him what he was doing out there and he replies nothing, acting perfectly normal)

Monster–Nature of the beast: A little later, the old boyfriend has returned to his apartment. There’s a knock at the door.

Reaction: He opens the door, recognizes whomever is there and looks surprised/afraid, “ what the hell are you doing here?” The figure (POV) pushes the old boyfriend, steps in the apartment. The sounds of a scuffle are apparent…then silence.

Act 2 – The Point of No Return

Isolated/Trapped/Abducted: The bridal party goes back to the suburban house (Horror situation: Isolation) for the real party to open up the presents not suitable for family and friends outside the bridal party to see. We learn more about the dynamics between the characters (of particular importance is the discussion that the groom-to-be was adamant about no sex before marriage).

Horror situation: Not quite trapped, but a little more isolated and less options for getting help. The mother (step-mother) collects all the cell phones to make sure that no evidence of the party gets out and car keys to make sure no one drive while intoxicated.

The groom-to-be shows up a little later, bringing an expensive bottle of champagne. Everybody’s happy.

Horror situation: Probably a little too much drinking for an after party.

Reaction: While they’re coherent, they’re definitely impaired, which will impact their decision-making and ability to plan and execute an escape Also, denial. Except for the groom-to-be who is perfectly sober and the mother (step mother) of the bride-to-be who is an obnoxious drunk.

Horror situation: Isolating the mother (step-mother) and Monster approaching. The girls convince her it’s finally time for her to go to bed and when she gets into the master bedroom, the groom-to-be comes out of the master bathroom, apologizing profusely.

One of us killed:

Horror situation: Face-to-face with the monster. The mother (step-mother) tells him to stay, then starts seducing the groom-to-be, who tries to politely escape, but she persists and eventually, they end up on the bed, with the groom-to-be on top of her. When she reaches down and grabs between his legs, she literally flips a switch and the seduction turns deadly, first he tears at he clothes, paws her and then strangles her to death. The monster is now unleashed.

Reaction: Terror, Panic as she’s slowly strangled to death.

MIDPOINT

Horror situations: Impending doom. From this point on the monster engages in a cat and mouse game with the victims, who still aren’t aware that anything is wrong (so their Reaction is nothing-denial).

Horror situation: The second victim is killed and hidden.

Reaction: Surprise, panic, terror as she realizes she’s going to die. (The rest of the partiers are still not aware they’re in danger (Denial).

Horror situation: A third victim is killed

Reaction: panic, terror, fighting back, making some noise.

Horror situation: Because of the noise made in this killing the survivors finally realize something’s going on.

Reaction: Try to solve it and see what’s going on.

Horror situation: They go to the master bedroom and see the bride-to-be’s mother (step-mother). They finally know they’re in big trouble.

Reaction: They are disgusted, horrified, traumatized. But, they still have to solve the mystery. They look for their friends and fiancé, who they now assume may be dead too.

They find the second victim’s body

They can’t find their cell phones and can’t call 911, because the landline isn’t working, either.

Act III- Full out Horror

Fight to the death:

Horror situation: One of them runs outside to the closest neighbor’s house for help.

Reaction: There’s no answer, as she screams and knocks on the door. She knocks again, pleading. But there’s still no answer.

Horror situation: She’s grabbed from behind and strangled to death. The figure carries her body across the shared driveway toward the house, but goes through the front gate to the side of the house into a dark side yard.

Horror situation: Back inside the house, the girls slowly search the house looking for their other dead friend and the fiancé.

Reaction: They’re so afraid, they spook themselves, while they do their awkward search.

They decide to get out while they can and get out the front door to join their friend who they think has gotten help. But they can’t open the front door, it’s jammed shut so they run back to toward the slider in the family room, but when they flip the light switch, the killer is standing there with the body of the girl he just killed.*

Reaction: Panic, hysteria. The four remaining survivors decide to stay inside the house, and hide since they can’t get outside and they can’t call for help.

*Alternate, the girl’s not dead yet and he strangles her as the girls helplessly watch in terror. Alternate 2, he slices the throat of the girl as the others watch in terror.

Reaction: Helplessly watch in terror.

Horror situation: But, the killer can get inside. And he does, stalking, finding and killing two more survivors as they try and escape from the killer.

Reaction of the two victims: Escape, panic, hysteria.

Reaction of the two survivors still in hiding who know their friends have been killed: panic, sorrow, guilt, shame.

Now, just the bride-to-be and the Maid of Honor are still alive.

The thrilling escape from death:

Horror situation: Face to face with the monster. The killer turns off all lights in the house and stalks the remaining two.

Reaction: Terror, resigned to the fact that they have to fight to survive.

Horror situation: He finds them and they fight like hell, both taking one hell of a pounding, but finally they get an advantage and one hits him with whatever heavy or sharp object they have and the killer goes down.

Reaction: During the fight, tenacity, anger.

Reaction after the fight: Exhaustion, sorrow, simultaneous guilt and gratitude they’ve survived.

Death returns to take one or more:

Horror situation: Friends in Danger. Impending Doom. They think they’ve won. They limp through the house and take stock the toll. They look for their phones and go back up to the second floor bedroom and continue looking for the fiance. But, the killer comes from behind and round two of the fight continues.

Reaction: Fighting fury.

But, another one bites the dust. This time the maid of honor and the groom-to-be appear to be dead.

Reaction: The bride-to-be sobs heavily as she caresses her best friend’s body, holding her tight to her chest.

Resolution:

Horror situation: Injured, debilitated, Tricked. But, then, she realizes the killer is the man she almost married, comes back, grabs her from behind and starts choking her, lifting her off her feet.

Reaction: Fight to the death.

She struggles to break the hold, throwing elbows, reaching around to grab anything. She’s almost out of air and with one final effort, pokes him in the eye and he releases his grip. She rushes to the side of the bed and reaches for a baseball bat. She grabs it, but he grabs her and pulls her away, and she swings away at him and finally strikes a killing blow.

Reaction: It’s over. There’s no joy. Just survival.

But, everyone knows that somehow the killer’s not really dead…at least not yet.

Alternate ending: When it’s all over and the first police are on scene. They find the fiancé dazed, handcuffed with legs tied at the ankle in a closet in a room that hadn’t been checked. It turns out that the twin brother, who had some serious mental health issues came to town to confront his brother for not inviting him to the wedding. The two had had a fight and he was blindsided with a knockout shot to the chin. He was disoriented and he ended up in the closet.

Horror situation: Walking into a trap, working with someone, who becomes the evil one. After he’s reunited with the bride-to-be, the two walk away from the camera, but after a few steps, he turns to the camera and gives it a disturbing, evil grin.

[John Garofolo]

John Garofolo’s Horror Plot

What I learned doing this assignment is that in making a successful horror script, following the conventions of the genre are necessary and helpful in plotting the story.

Act I – Set up for Horror

Atmosphere of Evil: A brutal murder of a young man and woman takes place in Oak Park, Illinois. The murderer escapes. Dissolve to detectives at the crime scene saying they couple was caught having sex and probably killed by a boyfriend (maybe on Halloween)

Connect with the Characters: Oak Park, California, Five years later. A group of young women are getting ready for a nice suburban party. We learn about the characters through their discussion and are aware that there going to a bridal shower and will come back to the house for an after-party.

The characters are warned: We meet the fiancé and learn more about the characters. An old boyfriend shows up and corners the bride-to-be to tell her not to get married. He tells her there’s something off with him.

Denial of Horror: After the Maid of Honor and several of the bridesmaids intervene, the bride-to-be tells him that it’s pretty despicable for him to trash talk her fiancé like that and she tells him to leave.

Safety taken away: The old boyfriend leaves. But before he gets in his car, he sees the groom-to-be glaring at him in a way that gives him the chills. As he drives off, the groom chases after the car, then abruptly stops and goes back to the restaurant and joins his fiancé.

Monster–Nature of the beast: A little later, the old boyfriend has returned to his apartment. There’s a knock at the door. He opens it, recognizes whomever is there and looks surprise/afraid, “ what the hell are you doing here?” The visitor pushes the old boyfriend, steps in the apartment. The sounds of a scuffle are apparent…then silence.

Act 2 – The Point of No Return

Isolated/Trapped/Abducted: The bridal party goes back to the suburban house for the real party to open up the presents not suitable for family to see. We learn more about the dynamics between the characters (of particular importance is the discussion that the groom-to-be was adamant about no sex before marriage). Also, the mother (step-mother) collects all the cell phones to make sure that no evidence of the party gets out and car keys to make sure no one drive while intoxicated.

The groom-to-be shows a up a little later, but brings an expensive bottle of champagne. Everybody’s happy. Probably a little too much drinking. While they’re coherent, they’re definitely impaired. Except for the groom-to-be who is perfectly sober and the mother (step mother) of the bride-to-be who is an obnoxious drunk. The girls convince her it’s finally time for her to go to bed and when she gets into the master bedroom, the groom-to-be comes out of the master bathroom, apologizing profusely.

One of us killed: The mother (step-mother) tells him to stay, then starts seducing the groom-to-be, who tries to politely escape, but she persists and eventually, they end up on the bed, with the groom-to-be on top of her. When she reaches down and comments on his erection, she literally flips a switch and the seduction turns deadly, first he tears at he clothes, paws her and then strangles her to death. The monster is now unleashed.

MIDPOINT

From this point on the monster engages in a cat and mouse game with the victims, who still aren’t aware that anything is wrong. The second victim is killed and hidden and the rest of the partiers are still not aware they’re in danger.

A third victim is killed and they survivors finally realize what’s going on. They go through the house looking for the groom-to-be and, at first, assume he’s dead as well.

They can’t find their cell phones and can’t call 911, the landline doesn’t seem to be working, either. And they find the dead body of the mother (step-mother). They finally know they’re in big trouble.

Act III- Full out Horror

Fight to the death: One of them runs outside to a neighbor’s house. There’s no answer, as she screams and knocks on the door. She knocks again, pleading for help. She’s grabbed from behind and strangled to death. He carries her body across the shared driveway toward the house.

Hysteria: They can’t get out the front door and head toward the slider in the family room, but before they get there, the killer is standing there with the body of the girl he just killed. The four remaining survivors hide inside the house, since they think he can’t get in.

But, he can. And does, finding and killing two bridesmaids. Now, just the bride-to-be and the Maid of Honor are still alive.

The thrilling escape from death: The killer turns off all lights in the house and stalks the remaining two. He finds them and they fight like hell, both taking one hell of a pounding, but finally they get an advantage and one hits him whatever heavy objects they have and the killer goes down.

Death returns to take one or more: They think they’ve won. They limp through the house and take stock the toll. They look for their phones and go back up to the second floor bedroom and continue looking. But, the killer comes from behind and round two of the fight continues. Another one bites the dust. This time the maid of honor and the groom-to-be appear to be dead.

The bride-to-be sobs heavily as she caresses her best friend’s body, holding her tight to her chest.

Resolution: But, then, the groom-to-be, the man she almost married, comes back, grabs her from behind and starts choking her, lifting her off her feet. She struggles to break the hold, throwing elbows, reaching around to grab anything. She’s almost out of air and with one final effort, pokes him in the eye and he releases his grip. She rushes to the side of the bed and reaches for a baseball bat. She grabs it, but he grabs her and pulls her away, and she swings away at him and finally strikes a killing blow.

But, everyone knows that somehow the killer’s not really dead…at least not yet.

[John Garofolo]

Halloween Horror Conventions

What I learned from doing this assignment is John Carpenter developed a horror film model that still works 43 years later. It’s a very simple story that is well-executed and relentless in it’s pacing and shows that a bloodbath isn’t necessary if the story is well-plotted out.

Title/Concept: Halloween: as psychotic killer breaks out of the mental hospital he has been locked in for 15 years and returns to the scene of his original murder to wreak havoc on new victims.

Terrorize the Characters: Michael Meyers stalks and kills unsuspecting victims with no apparent motive and is apparently impervious to death.

Isolation: An isolated neighborhood Halloween with not parents at home and the young trick or treaters are at home with their babysitters.

Death: Strangulation, strangulation/stabbing,

Monster/Villain: An unrelenting, psychopath hell-bent on wreaking death and destruction to young women and their boyfriends repeating the origin murder spree.

High Tension: The audience knows the victims are in jeopardy long before the victims know it. The isolation and lack of any outside support or rescue from the horror (Laurie Strode, screaming in a state of hysteria, knocks on a neighbor’s door for help, but is ignored.

Departure from Reality: Michael Meyers has superhuman strength and the ability to navigate a world that he hasn’t lived in since he was a child (expertly driving a car, navigating the journey from the mental hospital to his former residence). Also, impervious to multiple stabbings, gunshot wounds and 2-story falls.

Moral Statement: Teenage girls and boys having sex get punished with death.

Title/Concept: Oak Park (working title)

Terrorize the Characters: A psychopathic killer who has laid dormant for several years is triggered on the night of his wedding shower (actually, the wedding shower after the wedding shower with just the bridal party and groom-to-be. The victims have no idea that the fiancé/friend/acquaintance is a killing machine about to be unleashed. Like in Halloween, the victims don’t know there in danger until it’s too late.

Isolation: A home in a surburban neighborhood (let’s call it Oak Park) that nothing bad ever happens. Neighbors rarely venture out and interact with each other (or don’t want to get involved), particularly late at night (and more so during COVID).

Death: Strangulation (for those who aren’t familiar, there was a famous murder in Chicago back in the 1960’s and the killer managed to kill 8 nursing students living together in an apartment, in an apartment building that no one was aware that the murders had happened. Stabbing, blunt force trauma.

Monster/Villain: The psychopathic killer in question, committed a double murder five years earlier (in another town called Oak Park), killing his girlfriend and a guy she was having sex with after he caught them in the act. He escaped justice and hid his past until being triggered at the shower.

High Tension: the victims are up against a relentless killer who will not stop until he kills everyone in the house.

Departure from Reality: It’s not everyday that your fiancé turns out to be a dormant sadistic killer that’s triggered at your wedding shower.

Moral Statement: Pre-marital sex can get you and your friends killed.

[John Garofolo]

Hi everyone, nice to meet you (virtually),

Thanks for sharing your stories. It’s great to see such a diverse group of writers in here.

About me:

1. Name: John Garofolo

2. I’ve written 4 screenplays, a couple of pilots, 3 spec TV episodes (none produced), have had a book published (and have had the privilege of spending a small fortune publicizing it)

3. I’ve never written a horror script before and I think it’s probably been to my detriment, since Horror is such a popular, enduring, genre (hence, more sellable) I probably would have been better off writing 3 horror scripts instead of the one’s that I decided to write.

4. There’s nothing special, unique or particularly strange about me, but I’m a retired Coast Guard officer, worked in entertainment eons ago and have done some teaching (including at the Coast Guard Academy). I live in Southern California.

[John Garofolo]

John Garofolo

“I agree to the terms of this agreement.”

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

[John Garofolo]

Whitney, Glad to see you made a film about a woman impersonating a man during the Civil War. Evidently, there really had been a fair number of women who fought in wars before women were officially allowed to join the military (and militaries around the world).

It’s definitely a unique story.

Congratulations.

John Garofolo

[John Garofolo]

Douglas,

We’ll have to do some Coast Guard talk down the line. It’s pretty rare to run into a former Coastie in Hollywood.

John