[John Puffer]

John’s Level 3 Action Emotions (# 12)

What I learned…let the adrenaline flow.

Outline:

DANGER: Continuing where I left off in Lesson 10… The Russians chasing Evan and Julie burst through the wall of flame from the napalm. They got ambushed, sidetracked and behind, but not much and not for long. The Russian’s car screeches to a stop. One thug aims, sniper style, at Julie’s car, hits a tire, side rearview, taillight.

EXCITEMENT: Evan can’t drive much farther now. He slides sideways to a stop on the dirt road. They each get a Glock. Julie takes the grenade launcher, runs to her right into the dense forest. Evan, left. Russians take after them but are behind. They listen, hear noises, shoot in those directions. Evan and Julie shoot back just to let the thugs know they have guns. That slows them down. Julie and Evan circle back to the two vehicles, hiding, as planned, in wait for the thugs.

ADRENALIN: The sun has set, and the Russians aren’t stupid. They know what’s waiting for them unless they get back first. It’s a foot race now. Julie gets back first. Sees one thug. Fires one shot. Out of ammo. The shot hits the Russian in the pelvis, though, and he goes down. Julie grabs her back-up revolver just as side window glass shatters in front of her. She turns and fires. Three shots, all in the chest. The other Russian, mad with rage, distracted by Evan, takes a bullet in the shoulder, two in the chest. He fires wildly as he falls dying, the bullet piercing the gas tank of his own vehicle. KA-BOOM!

INT. TAURUS – DAY

SURPRISE: Evan checks the rear view. The Russians made it through the wall of fire.

DANGER: Two bullets ricochet off the Taurus’ rear window. The passenger-side mirror shatters, startling Julie. The right rear tire blows.

SUSPENSE: Julie spots an unpaved crossroad up ahead. Tells Evan to take it. Positions herself to unlock and open the suitcase.

SURPRISE: Evan yanks the car ninety degrees right. Julie veers sideways into him.

EXT. DIRT ROAD – CONTINUIOUS

SUSPENSE: Dense woods crowd both sides. Julie grabs the launcher. Evan hopes she’s read the instructions. Julie keeps working away. Loads a grenade. Leans out the window, prepares for a shot.

Evan swerves just as Julie fires.

EXCITEMENT: The grenade bursts well behind the TWO Russians, Tzakov and Motkin. Motkin checks the gas cloud in the rear-view. Knows it was a grenade. Tells Tzakov to stop the car. Tzakov brakes hard! Motkin kicks open the door. Aims, sniper style through the window, and rapid fires.

DANGER: Taurus’s left taillight shatters. Left rear tire blows.

FEAR: Evan and Julie have to ditch the car and run for it.

SURPRISE: Julie rams her Glock into Evan’s belt with alarming swiftness. Tells Evan not to lose it.

EXCITEMENT: Julie tucks the other Glock into her waist. Grabs the launcher and her sandwich, darts out the passenger door into the woods, right. Evan power-locks the doors, then bolts into the woods, left.

DANGER: Closing in from a hundred yards, the Russians spot them running off in different directions. The Explorer grinds to a halt behind the Taurus. The Russians split up, bolt into the woods.

SUSPENSE: Motkin stops, listens, hears Julie, fires several rounds.

EXT. WOODS – CONTINUOUS

ADRENALINE: Julie veers left. Bullets whiz by, hit trees. Motkin follows her into the woods.

SUSPENSE: Tzakov stops and listens, hears Evan’s footsteps, shoots in Evan’s direction.

ADRENALINE: Evan evades. Tzakov runs after him. Julie sprints onward, veers left again. Evan runs like a madman. Stumbles and lands hard.

SURPRISE: The Glock dislodges from his belt, but he doesn’t notice. He picks himself up and bolts.

ADRENALINE: Julie clutches the launcher and runs for dear life. She stops and listens to Motkin’s distant footsteps, takes a bite of sandwich, looks back. Motkin stops, hears Julie start to run again, farther away now, shoots anyway. Julie blazes onward, veering left toward the dirt road and the cars.

SUSPENSE: Tzakov stops, listens, hears distant footsteps, fires several rounds.

DANGER: Evan hears bullets whizzing by and hitting trees. He sprints on. Tzakov darts toward Evan.

ADRENALINE: Julie spots the unpaved road. She dashes toward it. Reaches the tree line and stops to catch her breath. She sees it’s safe, darts out of the woods, blunders into a deep, grassy ditch stumbles, falls, drops her sandwich. The launcher fires.

IN THE WOODS

SUSPENSE: Motkin stops, listens, sprints left.

DIRT ROAD

FEAR: Julie gathers herself, hobbling slightly, then pulls out her Glock. She sprints toward the Taurus.

IN THE WOODS

EXCITEMENT: Tzakov thinks he hears something and stops just as the grenade explodes behind him. He shields his head and ears, scampers back toward the cars.

DIRT ROAD

RELIEF: Julie reaches the Taurus. She grabs the door handle. Locked. A bullet pierces the side window.

ADRENALINE: She turns, shoots at Motkin.

IN THE WOODS

DANGER: Evan hears the shots. He bolts toward the cars.

DIRT ROAD

EXCITEMENT: Motkin shoots at Julie, who hits the ground hard, returns fire, heart thumping.

EXCITEMENT: Motkin takes five bullets in rapid succession. Falls back, dead. Julie checks herself. No holes. Excellent. Tzakov looms from the woods, winded, coughing. He sees Julie beside the car.

DANGER: Julie hears rustling at the edge of the woods. She turns, sees Tzakov, fires one shot, then — CLICK, CLICK — out of bullets.

EXCITEMENT: Tzakov takes that bullet in the pelvis, though, and stumbles backwards.

DANGER: Evan emerges from the woods behind the Explorer, spies Julie.

SUSPRNSE: Julie reaches in through the Taurus’ shattered window. Grabs her back-up revolver.

EXCITEMENT: Evan spots Tzakov and reaches for his Glock. Not there.

ADRENAKINE: Tzakov recovers and aims at Julie. Evan SHOUTS at him. Tzakov turns, shoots at Evan. Evan dives into the bush. Julie shoots at Tzakov. Tzakov takes a bullet in the shoulder. Julie continues to fire until the chambers empty. Tzakov takes three bullets to the chest, shoots wildly as he falls back. Hits the Explorer near the gas cap.

DANGER: Julie shields herself as the Explorer explodes!

RELIEF: An eternity passes. Julie just lies there, too tired to move.

EXCITEMENT: Evan bursts out of the bush, rushes to the Taurus. He sees Julie, face down, not sure she’s alive.

RELIEF: Julie whimpers, summons all her energy to stand. She can barely lock eyes with Evan. She folds into his arms. Cries at the sight of her Taurus. Evan comforts her.

[John Puffer]

John’s Level 2 Action Emotions # 11

What I learned…to think of these three elements in a more analytical way that enables me to consider using them in more creative ways.

Outline:

Surprise: Julie finally identifies her client to Evan: Rina Koenig, estranged wife of the mine property owner. Rina has a financial stake in knowing what’s going on at these properties because they’re part of her divorce proceeding. This indicates to Evan that Peter Koenig is behind the mine-site raids and at least two murders.

Shock: Evan finally confesses to Julie that the thugs pursuing them are Russian mafia, diamond-smugglers, but that he doesn’t know why they’re after him – and now, her — precisely.

Suspense: Evan and Julie have hatched a plan to thwart the thugs, but now he knows why all this is happening. Now all that must happen is for the plan to work. Police are involved, but these are international thugs who’ve evaded capture many times before, and are determined to do it again, or die, and take as many others with them as necessary to ensure their own survival. And there are diamonds to retrieve, whereabouts “unknown.”

INT. JULIE’S TOWNHOUSE – DAY

Julie and Evan snuggle in bed, having just made love.

JULIE

Have I softened you up enough to ask a few questions?

EVAN

Are you willing to take turns?

Julie, not keen on that idea.

EVAN

Together we may have all the pieces of the puzzle, Julie. If you don’t share yours with me, well never solve it.

Not much more to think about. Julie wants answers.

JULIE

Rina Koenig.

EVAN

Peter’s wife is your client???

JULIE

She has a financial interest in finding out what’s going on. Your turn.

EVAN

Russian mafia. Diamond smuggling.

JULIE

Jesus Ev’. We’re in a lot of trouble.

EVAN

All I wanted to do was restore my reputation.

JULIE

Reputation means nothing if you’re dead. And these guys won’t stop until we are or they are. (beat)

They can trace my license plate. We can’t stay here.

A SHORT TIME LATER –

DOWNSTAIRS HALLWAY

Evan hurries down the stairs toward the –

KITCHEN

He enters, turns on the light – and freezes.

Nikolai Vovk aims a Beretta right at Evan’s heart. Shushes Evan.

FRONT ENTRANCE

Julie grabs her jacket.

JULIE

Ev’, let’s go.

She hustles to the kitchen.

KITCHEN

Julie enters.

JULIE

Evan, we’ve —

She sees Vovk. Freezes.

VOVK

The purse.

Julie tosses. Vovk catches. Takes out the Glock.

VOVK

Very pretty.

[John Puffer]

John’s Likeability/Empathy/Justification

What I learned…to organize my thoughts and take a more disciplined approach when working the beats of a story.

LIKEABILITY/LOVABILITY

· A. A Mining Engineer, Evan is smart, personable, respect-worthy, and good with chemicals and explosives.

· B. He loves people and animals. His lifestyle isn’t conducive to having a pet, but he feeds/befriends a fox on the mining site.

· C. he’s trying to make the world a productive, better place in his own professional way.

· D. Evan doesn’t rescue anybody but cares enough to keep those around him safe.

· E. Way more analytical than funny, but he is playful.

· F. His kindness shows through in his interactions with people.

· G. Evan’s not religious, but his actions and decisions are of the highest moral standard. He doesn’t understand why the world can’t be a more friendly, less violent, more welcoming place.

EMPATHY/DISTRESS

· A. Evan was beaten, had a mine site compromised by thugs, and had his cache of rough diamonds stolen from two mine sites.

· B. He’s never had time for a serious relationship.

· C. The actions of these thugs have gotten him badly injured and then, later on, fired. He’s become a liability, an unlucky charm, and no one will hire him.

· D. He’s being victimized in a way that forces him to fight back in a dangerous manner counter to his personal credo and moral compass. Thugs only understand the violent path, rarely reason.

· E. Evan resolves to fight fire with fire, use stealth and intelligence to out-maneuver the thugs.

· F. Still feeling the sting of his first encounter with Vovk, Evan knows the stakes have become life or death.

JUSTIFICATION

· A. Evan was injured, his partner killed, and rough diamonds stolen at the first mine site. His professional reputation has now been tarnished with the events at the second site.

· B. Evan is bullied and threatened in a restaurant by locals.

· C. Three times Evan is attacked while driving, attempts on his life.

· D. The revenue lost in both mine raids was in the millions. Not Evan’s money, but in his charge, and he’s determined to get it back and restore his industry reputation.

· E. Vovk and his thugs have to be stopped, get their comeuppance.

[John Puffer]

John’s Level 1 Action Emotions

What I learned… found myself getting anxious just writing this thing! Adrenalin’s good, right?

Outline:

· Anxiety: Julie has just discovered that she and Evan, who’s driving, are being pursued by thugs, closing in on them. The bad guys are shooting at them, but the bullets are bouncing of the bulletproof rear window. Julie hops onto the split, folded-down rear seats, reaches into the car’s trunk for her two Glocks.

· Fear: Evan tells her that there’re six jars of hand-made napalm in his overnight bag that maybe she should grab out of the non-bulletproof trunk. Evan drives evasively, but there’s traffic.

· Relief: Julie and Evan each throw out the jars. Julie ignites an inferno by shooting at the areas where the napalm jars landed and smashed.

INT. TAURUS – DAY

Julie takes a bite of her sandwich, checks the rear-view mirror, sees a large SUV storming toward them. JULIE

Check the rearview.

EVAN

They seem in a hurry.

JULIE

Let’s us be too.

BULLETS bounce off the rear window.

Julie hops onto the folded-down rear seats.

Reaches for her GLOCKS.

EVAN

SHIT! Is the trunk bulletproof too?

JULIE

Wasn’t in the budget.

EVAN

There’re six jars of napalm in my bag.

JULIE

WHAT???

EVAN

I said, there –

JULIE

I HEARD YOU!

Julie scrambles. Grabs her Glocks and Evan’s bag.

JULIE

NAPALM! JESUS! (returns to the front seat)

She and Evan throw the jars out their windows.

Julie fires at the road, POW POW POW…empties her magazine. IGNITES the napalm into WALLS OF FLAME and SMOKE.

EVAN

That ought to stop them.

JULIE

It’d better. (grabs, bites into her sandwich)

I’m famished.

[John Puffer]

John’s Story Map

What I learned…designing the structure is essential to developing/changing/improving the story line.

Opening:

· A1: The Russian diamond mine is raided by a dozen thugs…communication tower and security cameras destroyed, office vandalized, employees thrown out.

· V1: Vovk pistol whips and kills one man, injures (hero) Evan, makes off with a huge cache of rough diamonds.

Inciting Incident:

· M1: Mining Engineer, Evan, sets dynamite into core-drilled holes for the controlled blast on a mine site in another country.

· V2: Under cover of night, Vovk and his men kill one of the site workers, add much more dynamite to each hole.

· A2: A huge explosion casts debris over a vast area

· M2: Evan, summoned to head office a long flight away, is fired and ordered by the property owner, Koenig, not to return.

First Turning Point:

· M3: Evan returns to search the site to try to identify the explosive used by the bad guys.

· A2: Evan goes to the only nearby restaurant in the small town, is bullied and threatened by a trio of local brothers, but bests and threatens them, and they back off.

· A3: Thugs try to run him off the road and shoot at him before he even gets to the motel. He figures out that someone has alerted thugs of his plan to return. He evades the bad guys, seeks and gets help from the restaurant owner.

Midpoint:

· M4: On route back to the mine in a different vehicle, Evan stops and confronts the person following him; a private detective, Julie. They decide to work together.

· V3: Vovk and Koenig’s estranged wife, Rina, are not only lovers, but in love with each other. He tells her that this will be his last job. They have enough (stolen) riches to sustain themselves for rest of their lives.

· A4: Meanwhile, back at the mine site, Vovk’s men run Evan and Julie off the highway and into a lake. They wait to watch the car sink, and after several minutes, presume that they’ve drowned.

· A5: Evan and Julie hide out, then flag down a trucker, who gives them a lift to town.

Second Turning Point:

· V4: Vovk returns to the town, sees Julie and Evan in the restaurant, drives to the mine site, confronts his men, orders them to kill Julie and Evan and bring him proof that they’re dead. He and the remainder of the crew work the rough diamond machinery.

· M5: Evan buys supplies and munitions that will turn the tables in their favor against the thugs.

Crisis:

· M6: Evan becomes the relentless avenger. He and Julie sneak away to Julie’s townhouse in the city.

· V5: Vovk now knows Julie’s identity because she was hired by Rina to keep an eye on things. Rina desperately wants Vovk to return safely to her.

· A6: Vovk and his crew kidnap and bind Julie and Evan, take them to the airport.

· M7: The trucker, an undercover cop, has set a trap to capture Vovk and his thugs at the airport, and follows them.

Climax:

· A7: As the thugs are loading the trailer for transport, police strike and kills the thugs who fight back in vain.

· V6: Vovk slinks away to his stashed escape vehicle only to be confronted by Evan in the parking lot.

· A8: Vovk and Evan duke it out, a one-sided fight, favoring Vovk, so it seems, but Evan prevails. Kills Vovk.

Resolution:

· M8: Rina, it turns out, is the brains behind the diamond smuggling operation. She realizes Vovk isn’t going to show up at their planned rendezvous destination after days of waiting.

· A9: International police raid a clandestine diamond cutting operation but find everyone there has been assassinated.

· M9: Evan, at the airport on route to the mine site, says goodbye to Julie, both realizing that they will see each other again soon.

[John Puffer]

Action Lesson # 3 – Assignment Response

John’s Hero’s Mission Track

What I learned…dig deeper to make the action of the story more interesting while building intrigue and excitement. Hopefully.

1.

A. Evan is a brilliant career engineer, skilled in chemicals and explosives. He’s fearless, capable, resolved, and resourceful.

B. The thugs and smugglers have to be killed and/or put out of business without apparent assistance from law enforcement agencies.

C. Evan has been beaten and robbed of millions in raw diamonds; his partner was killed; two mining sites were destroyed, and no one will hire him. His career taken away, he wants revenge, justice, closure and a restored life. He’s trying to stay alive against heavily armed thugs motivated to kill him.

D. What could happen…? Evan could get killed. He could suffer pain and setbacks in his quest against this conscienceless evildoer. He could meet other people caught up in the events taking place, people willing to join his revenge mission. He could unearth and shut down the entire diamond smuggling operation himself and, with help from newly motivated law enforcement, demolish the mercenaries hired to perpetuate it.

2.

Clear Mission: To recover stolen (rough) diamonds; kill ringleader, Vovk; shut down the smuggling ring.

Motivation: Partner killed, diamonds stolen, job sites ruined, career tarnished

Inciting Incident: Vovk and his thugs raid Even’s mining site in northern Russia, kill Evan’s partner, scare off workers, steal harvested diamonds.

First Action: Evan returns home, then to his next exploration site, only to have the site blown up. Vovk has killed one of Evan’s site workers, and suspects that the same thugs are responsible, and following him.

Obstacle: Evan, slightly injured, is summoned to Head Office to explain the incident, and is summarily fired by the mine property owner. How will he, now, be able to track down the villains with no resources and no help from police.

Escalation: Vovk and his crew quickly gather and haul off the substantial rough diamond booty before Evan can return to the site to search for clues and evidence as to the identity of the perpetrators. Evan gets run off the road into a lake, almost drowns.

Overwhelming Odds: Evan heads to the town nearest the mining property, alone, an unwelcome stranger, to conduct his own investigation, trying to locate anyone who may have knowledge about or come into contact with this band of thugs, and do so without weapons or concern for personal safety.

New Plan: Investigate mine site, ask townspeople for any information about strangers, large vehicles, suspicious activities…helpful clues which will enable him to take subsequent action.

Full Out Attack: with the help of a newfound friend, Evan locates and disables loaded vehicles, ambushes each thug single-handedly, killing them all, one by one, setting a panicked Vovk to vamoose. Evan tracks Vovk down at the international airport, eventually killing him, although he’s injured in the fracas.

Success: Evan is able to save his rough diamond haul, confronts Vovk’s mistress, who’s been helping Vovk all along and awaiting the arrival of her lover at a foreign airport. In no mood for games, he forces the woman to reveal the whereabouts of the diamond smuggling headquarters. He retrieves a large stash of raw and newly cut diamonds.

Action Assignment # 4

John’s Villain Track

What I learned… To invest as much time in creating a superb villain as in creating a superb hero. The smarter the villain, the smarter the hero will have to be to succeed in his/her quest, and the more satisfying the reader’s/audience’s journey.

A. Pre-existing plan: The villain (Vovk) plans a no-holds-barred raid to loot a diamond mining site in northern Russia. The hero is on site, but suspects nothing and is not prepared for any sort of surprise violent encounter.

B. How many ways…

a. Initially, three vehicles with armed thugs show up, storm the remote camp office and mining site killing (hero) Evan’s partner, knocking him unconscious, brutally corralling staff, and destroying the communications tower and equipment.

b. Later on, they use explosives and military-style assault weapons to destroy a second mining site.

c. Evan is summoned to his company’s Head Office, while the villains haul off the treasure of raw diamonds, is fired and framed as unworthy to potential future employers.

d. Even later, he is threatened, run off the road, and forced to hide out/take shelter wherever he can find it.

e. Even later again, he’s shot at and chased through a forest. The ultimate showdown between Evan and Vovk is pretty much hand-to-hand at an airport parking garage.

C. What advantage…

a. A traitor to the mining company provides inside information to Vovk, so Vovk stays one step ahead of Evan…

b. Vovk has a dedicated, trained team of merc’s who know “war” well and who’ll do anything for him.

c. Vovk is well-financed, an excellent strategist and a charismatic field general.

d. The thugs are well-armed to do whatever the job calls for, right down to the last detail.

D. Fitting end…

a. Vovk’s team has been annihilated.

b. Diamonds in all forms recovered.

c. The smuggling ring is vanquished.

d. Vovk ultimately dies in the airport parking garage — the result of a hand-to-hand fight with Evan, which is how Vovk “introduced” himself to Evan all those weeks ago. Evan’s nowhere near Vovk’s equal in combat, but he’s smarter and more resourceful.

e. Vovk’s inside “traitor” gets found out and dealt with.

f. Evan gets back to work. Life becomes normal again.

[John Puffer]

John’s Hero and Villain

What I learned… to add more depth (and aspects) to the main characters and plot in order to make the journey more interesting and, in some ways, satisfying.

Hero Morally right: Evan wants to avenge his friend’s killing and destroy the international smuggling operation.

Villain Morally Wrong: Vovk killed Evan’s friend and partner, stole a large haul of rough diamonds, continues his violent rampage and raids on diamond mining operations around the world.

Hero: Evan Merritt: Mining Engineer

A. Unique Skill Set: Brilliant Chemical Engineer, photographic memory, resourceful planner, fearless

B. Motivation: avenge the death of his friend, recover stolen diamonds, destroy the smuggling ring, restore his tarnished reputation

C. Wound: Failed to stop two site raids by violent criminals, no one wants to hire him

Villain: Nikolai Vovk: Russian mercenary

A. Unbeatable: Ex-military, weapons/explosives expert, has a team of violent, well-trained and -equipped mercenaries, amply-financed

B. Plan/Goal: to conduct raids on diamond-mining sites around the world at any cost to disrupt the world supply

C. What they lose if Hero survives/wins: hundreds of millions in ransoms, and raw and polished diamonds

Impossible Mission: Evan must stop Vovk and his henchmen, and destroy the smuggling organization

A. Puts Hero in Action: Evan determines the most logical location for the next raid, and sets a trap to thwart it and capture or kill the mercenary team

B. Demands They go Beyond Their best: Evan liaises with the Fed’s for help to no avail, later discovers he has an undercover “assistant” working in the background, sets up a ragtag team to help carry out his plan to stop the marauding mercenaries and their violent, thieving activities.

C. Destroy the Villain: Evan sabotages the raid, but Vovk gets away, hidden by his married lover. A final do-or-die takes place in an airport parking lot between Evan and Vovk, ending in Vovk’s death. The head of the organization slinks away to a foreign country, and gets taken down a week later.

I skipped ahead after reading the assignment and asked, “If Evan can’t convince Police Departments to take him seriously, then how might Evan stop these guys himself.” The improved answers are already incorporated above.

[John Puffer]

John Puffer’s Conventions!

What I learned doing this assignment is…trust Hal. (No, I learned that a long time ago.) To not be quite so lazy and complacent in the development/thinking process, to start the process earlier when I’m fresher, and to be more outside-the-box imaginative.

Concept: To restore his tarnished reputation, a mining engineer must destroy a diamond-smuggling ring and the international thugs keeping it in business.

Conventions

Hero: Brilliant Mining Engineer, Evan Merritt, recovering from injuries
stemming from a raid by international thugs
Demand For Action: Evans goes where diamonds are mined.
International thugs track Evan to abscond the booty he unearths.
Mission: Evan has to trap, and then wipe them out. The law won’t
help him.
Antagonist: Formidable, evil, “invisible,” seemingly unstoppable
mercenary, Nikolai Vovk.
Escalating Action: Deadly raids in isolated regions of northern Russian
and Canada, lead to clashes with Vovk’s henchmen, uproar from a rural
community caught up in the violence, treachery within Evans confidants and
a mystery insider, an exploding exploration site, a midnight chase scene on
an isolated northern highway, a kidnapping, a capture plan at a major airport,
and a final clash between Merritt and Vovk.

[John Puffer]

Good day classmates,

John Puffer

Seven scripts

I want to enhance my skills in the action genre

I’m obsessed with homonyms and heteronyms, and considering therapy

[John Puffer]

John Puffer agrees to the terms of this release form.