Jon Carlson
Forum Replies Created
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Jon Carlson
“I agree to the terms of this release form.”
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
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Hi Everyone!
I’m Jon Carlson from the beautiful San Francisco Bay Area. I’ve written three different feature length screenplays, some shorts and a few television specs.
I would like to get motivated to actually produce more written work in a timely manner. Turn more ideas into tangible scripts. Learn the habits that will increase my overall production.
I love Harleys and am in the process of producing my reality/travel adventure show, “FLYING HOGZ.”
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Hi Everyone!!
Sorry that I’m posting this so f**King late, but as usual I’ve bitten off WAY more than I can chew. No worries though… I’ll catch up!
I’m Jon Charles Clayton Carlson or JonCCC for short. I live in the SF Bay Area. I’m a writer/filmmaker & SAG actor. Last year around this time I had a NDE and it was then that I decided to really go after my dream. I’m looking forward to getting to know some of you and reading your work.
Thanks so much!
JonCCC
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NEVERMIND… FOUND IT! 😆
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Sorry Cheryl, I missed it. I’ll listen to the recording. (Where can I find it?)
JonCCC
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1. Jon Carlson
“I agree to the terms of this release form.”
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
JonCCC
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Hello BW Class,
After being distracted for weeks, I finally my BINGE WORTHY FRAMEWORK and would love to exchange feedback with some of you if possible. Please email me @:
Thank you so much!
JonCCC
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Hi everyone!
I’m Jon Carlson from the SF Bay Area. I’ve written four feature scripts, some spec tv and many shorts. I’m trying to hone my skills as a screenwriter and get to the professional level. I’m a biker who’s also a huge fan of William Shakespeare. I look forward to this incredible journey.
JonCCC
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What I learned doing this assignment is: I found this exercise fun and thought provoking. Once again, a simple yet effective way to enrich the idea and bring it up to the next level. When creating one layer, it always seems to lead me to the next one! Pretty cool huh?
Assignment 1
“INVASION” – APPLE +
PLOT LAYERS
PLOT SURFACE: Aliens have arrived and are beginning to invade Earth. We see this unfolding through the perspectives of an apparently random cross section of people throughout the world.
LAYER 1: The alien drones/beings are seeking out Caspar to kill/capture him due to his psychic abilities that could possibly affect/stop them.
LAYER 2: The aliens are attempting to terraform Earth for their own habitation.
LAYER 3: They represent life as we absolutely don’t know it.
LAYER 4: They are not dead & are coming back with great strength and numbers.
CHARACTER LAYERS:
SURFACE: “IKURO MURAI” – Hinata’s father.
LAYER 1: Retired JASA engineer.
LAYER 2: Specialist in radio/audio, can help make contact/signal lock with alien ship.
LAYER 3: Has psychic abilities as well. Contacts Caspar mentally and possibly possesses the ability to make contact with the aliens as Caspar does.
LAYER 4: Could possibly be the key (or part of the key) in defeating the aliens for good.
Assignment 2
“THE EMM TRIANGLE”
PLOT LAYERS
PLOT SURFACE: Alien ruins have been discovered on both the dark side of the Moon and Mars. Dr. Xingguang “SHING” Liliang has been recruited by OWSA (Off World Space Administration) to bring her unique expertise to the projects.
LAYER 1: The initial translations/interpretation of what’s been found describes vast amounts of precious metals and other valuable resources.
LAYER 2: There is a discovery of another sort of puzzle that’s apparently the key to unlocking a devastatingly powerful weapon.
LAYER 3: Even though OWSA countries are supposedly working together, in reality, each are attempting to solve/steal the alien riddle and gain sole control of the “weapon”. Each are using covert-military espionage to achieve this goal.
LAYER 4: Gigantic worldwide corporations are also vying for control, sending spies to get ahead of the competition and be the first to capitalize on the vast untapped resources and will use or do anything within their wealth and power to get it.
LAYER 5: There is a secret waiting to be revealed that is far more important than wealth or military might and Shing might be the “chosen one” to discover it.
CHARACTER LAYERS
“SHING”
CHARACTER SURFACE: Respected professor of Archeology and Ancient Linguistics.
LAYER 1: A childhood multiple alien abductee/survivor with psychic abilities, a gift from “them.”
LAYER 2: An avid animal lover.
LAYER 3: Suffers from claustrophobia.
LAYER 4: Likes Thrash Metal music.
LAYER 5: Black belt in Karate.
LAYER 6: Has visions/dreams that can lead to deciphering the alien enigma.
LAYER 7: Can communicate with the “them.”
JonCCC
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What I learned doing this assignment is: When I think of this concept it reminds me of the “set up & pay off” in see in comedy. I think it’s really great to plant a seed with an audience to keep them looking forward to the eventual payoff whether it’s what they expected or not. Again, it just makes the whole story that much richer, which I totally love!
Assignment #1
BIG PICTURE LOOPS
“INVASION” – APPLE +
· There’s still life aboard the crashed alien ship.
· Is Sherriff Bell really dead? Will he return?
· Is Hinata still alive? Will she return?
· Is Caspar really dead? Will he return?
· Ahmed’s body wasn’t found, is he really dead? Will he return?
· Aneesha seemed to hit it off with male doctor, will they connect romantically?
· Mother ship arrives on Earth.
Assignment #2
BIG PICTURE LOOPS
“THE EMM TRIANGLE”
· Shing’s childhood Alien abductions.
· Her flashbacks & the strange symbols from her dreams/nightmares.
· As a teenager, witnessed her parents being kidnapped.
· Suffers from claustrophobia.
· Immediately hits it off with her Starship Commander “Raybeam”
· Shing notices her colleague ZZ has a pistol. Why?
· Where is the newfound artifact clue going to lead them?
· Intentional and potentially deadly traps set for Shing.
· Some of Shing’s paperwork/computer files missing/altered.
· Shing discovers even stranger new artifact.
· Artifact stolen.
· Dr. Chen goes missing.
JonCCC
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What I learned from doing this assignment is: As usual, I found this exercise extremely fun and helpful in further “fleshing out” this series in my mind. Just like the characters, it adds so many layers of richness to the idea as a whole.
Assignment #1
“INVASION” – APPLE +
MYSTERY TYPE 1
An alien species has arrived in Earth’s orbit and is in the process of invading. The POV’s from different characters around the world are the focus .
The mystery is what are they? Where are they from? In what ways are the main characters related? What makes them special? Can any of them help in dealing with this situation?
A. A SHOCKING EVENT: Aliens Invade Earth
B. SECRET: Why they have come, what they want
C. INVESTIGATION: Can communications be established? How can they be defeated?
MYSTERY TYPE 2
Why are they here? What do they want? Can they be defeated? What do the main characters have in common? What makes them special? Can they do something to prevent the aliens from winning? The aliens are not defeated. The gigantic mothership has landed. What’s their next move?
A. COVER UP: The alien ship has been nuked and crashed to Earth, People of the world celebrate.
B. SECRET: In the wreckage there are still signs of life, A Giant alien mothership appears on Earth.
C. REVEALS: What the lead characters have in common. What do they share? What makes them different? It’s not over, in fact it’s just beginning. What are the aliens going to do next? Will humanity survive?
D.
WHO: Aneesha, Mitsuki, Trevante, Caspar, Jamila,
WHAT: Aliens are invading Earth
WHERE: Japan, New York, London, Afghanistan, Space.
WHY: They all share something in common, a vision.
WHEN: A week’s time.
HOW: Unknown
Assignment #2
“THE EMM TRIANGLE”
MYSTERY TYPE 1
Ancient alien ruins have been discovered on the dark side of the moon and in the Cydonia region of Mars. OWSA has quickly assembled teams of archeologists/linguists to uncover and interpret them.
A. SHOCKING EVENT: Alien ruins have been discovered on the dark side of the Moon and the Cydonia region of Mars.
B. SECRET: The initial interpretations reveal that it might lead to vast wealth and possibly a extraordinarily powerful weapon.
C. INVESTIGATION: Interpreting the alien messages and searching for more artifacts.
WHO: Dr. Xingguang “SHING” Liliang
WHAT: Recruited by OWSA to join the digs on both Earth and Mars.
WHEN: Over a six month to one year period.
WHY: For her unique expertise and experience.
WHERE: OWSA training facilities Earth, Moon-base Gamma 2, Dig sites- Dark side, OWMC-A-5, Cydonia Regional, Mars.
HOW: By excavating structures and artifacts and attempting to decipher alien symbols, language and technology.
D. PART WITHHELD: The ACTUAL meaning of ONE of the inscriptions found… a warning.
MYSTERY TYPE 2
What are these ruins? WHO or what constructed them? What information will they reveal? Shing discovers a new message that is far more important than wealth or weaponry.
A. COVER UP: Some of the Chinese “and” Americans working on the projects are covert spies, both corporate and governmental.
B. SECRET: There is something more important than money or military might.
C. REVEALS: Where allegiance truly lies with each of them. What each are capable of to achieve their own goals. That the answers lie on Mars.
WHO: On the Dark-side of the Moon, Shing discovers what she refers to as “The Holy Relic” which message prompts her to go to Mars.
WHAT: An alien artifact unlike any found previously.
WHEN: Found by Shing on her first week, Left behind by an alien presence possibly thousands or even millions of years ago.
WHERE: Moon-base, Dark-side of the Moon leading to Mars.
HOW: How does this differ from the other artifacts
D. PART WITHHELD: That there is STILL a hidden alien presence on the Moon, Mars and even Planet Earth.
JONCCC
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What I learned doing this assignment: Once again I found that this is a simple yet effective way to add elements to your characters that not only adds to their rich complexity, but also draws the audience ever closer them.
BIG PICTURE DIFFICULT SITUATIONS
INVASION – APPLE +
“ANEESHA MALIK”
A. Undeserved misfortune: Catching Husband having an affair, Alien invasion.
B. External Character conflicts: Resents husband.
C. Plot intruding on life: Suddenly on the run with family, Her medical training suddenly in demand.
D. Moral dilemmas: Choosing her children’s lives over her husband’s.
E. Forced decisions they’d never make: Leaving her husband to die.
“THE EMM TRIANGLE”
“SHING”
A. Undeserved misfortune: Parents killed (murdered).
B. External Character conflicts: Colonel Lamb, Her Chinese archeological colleagues (secret MSS agents).
C. Plot intruding on life: Childhood alien abduction, Suddenly thrust into accelerated OWSA training, New job.
D. Moral dilemmas: Should she reveal what she’s discovered?
E. Forced de decisions they’d never make: Deliberately mislead her superiors, destroy evidence, commit an act of sabotage.
JonCCC
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What I learned from doing this assignment is: That this is yet another simple yet effective way to add such richness and depth to characters AND it helps take the story into different cool directions.
SHING’s Relationship Map “The EMM Triangle”
“SHING”
RAYBEAM
DOCTOR CHEN
COLONEL LAMB
SURFACE
RAY – Starship Commander – Friend
CHEN – Head of OWSA Archeology – Superior
LAMB – Ranking Officer
Moon-Base Gamma II
COMMON GROUND
RAY – Like each other – Mutual respect
CHEN – Mutual Admiration Share same love of history
LAMB – Mutual tolerance & respectful of each other’s roles.
CONFLICT
RAY – Still don’t completely trust each other
CHEN – Disagreement in approaching work
LAMB – Obeying orders – Boundaries that can and cannot be crossed – Limits
HISTORY
RAY – Met on first flight –Kept in touch via video messages
CHEN – Mentor-Former Professor at University
LAMB From resentment to reliance and trust
SUBTEXT
RAY – Keeping Secrets – Possible love interest
CHEN – Feels her methods are better.
LAMB – Lack of respect
RELATIONSHIP ARC
RAY – From Strangers to Friends to Lovers To allies.
CHEN – From teacher/Mentor to Colleague to Rival
LAMB – From strangers to Father figure.
Copyright 2017 Hal Croasmun, All rights reserved
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What I learned doing this assignment is:
That this simple exercise provides such an additional depth and rich dimensions to each character which directly results in bringing the entire series into a sharper focus. I’m starting to really love this entire process and am really starting to “get it.” It’s exciting to realize that I can not only use this (entire) formula to create awesome interesting characters for this project, but for ANY project that my imagination can create. “The sky’s the limit” so to speak or more appropriately “The sky’s the UNLIMITED!”
Assignment 1
“INVASION” – APPLE +
“ANEESHA”
HOPE: That she can protect her children/survive the invasion. FEAR: Losing her children/ not surviving.
WANT: Her children to be safe/to help others. NEED: To survive this.
BASE NEGATIVE EMOTION/Shock, betrayal/fear, inadequacy. PUBLIC MASK: Strong/Confident/Hopeful
WEAKNESSES: Too emotional/Too Unsure/Too attached
TRIGGERS: Motherly instincts/Jealousy/Criticism.
COPING MECHANISM: Love for/from her children.
“ MITSUKI”
HOPE: She can get Hinata back/FEAR: She’s already dead.
WANT: Get Hinata back/To contact her/aliens
BASE NEGATIVE EMOTION: Fear/Jealousy/helplessness.
WEAKNESSES: Ruled by her emotions.
TRIGGERS: Men in general/Authority Figures/The system itself/regulations.
COPING MECHANISM: Hinata’s memory/Beer/Bowie.
“CASPAR”
HOPE – Bring his mother back, Connect with the aliens/Stop them/Save Jamila, Trevante/Survive. himself. FEAR: Being too weak, Living without his mother, Failing.
WANT: Jamila, Get his mother back, Stand up for himself. NEED: Jamila & Trevante’s help/Connect with alien “Hive Mind.”
BASE NEGATIVE EMOTION: Fear/Inadequacy/self doubt/PUBLIC MASK: Unafraid, Strong.
WEAKNESSES: Epilepsy/Frailty.
TRIGGERS: Bullying/Aliens mind melding/Thoughts of his mother.
COPING MECHANISM: Medication/Artwork/Jamila/Trevante.
Assignment 2
“THE EMM TRIANGLE”
“SHING” PROFILE
HOPE: Decipher the alien enigma/Survive/Get back to her daughter. FEAR: Never knowing the answer/Never seeing her daughter again/Dying.
WANT: To figure it out/to find those responsible for the death of her parents/get back to Earth. NEED: To survive, to understand everything.
BASE NEGATIVE EMOTION: Feels smarter than everyone /Under appreciated/Resents Authority. PUBLIC MASK: Team player/good subordinate.
WEAKNESSES: Plagued by her nightmares/physically weak/suffers from claustrophobia.
TRIGGERS: Thoughts of her parents killers/Stupidity/Greed/Not taken seriously.
COPING MECHANISM: Calls to her daughter/ Green Tea, Yoga/ Tequila/Weed.
“RAYBEAM” PROFILE
HOPE: Retire with honors/Be remembered as the best pilot ever. FEAR:Early Alzheimer’s symptoms/ That he won’t live long enough to retire.
WANT: Retire wealthy to his own private island with beautiful female servants/ To be known as the best. NEED: To make it through his last missions without screwing up and dying/Make it home to Earth.
BASE NEGATIVE EMOTION: Feelings of irrelevancy/Second guessing himself/Struggling Memory. PUBLIC MASK: Cocky/Hot Shot/Womanizer/Charming
WEAKNESSES: Early symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease/Fear of dying.
TRIGGERS: Unfair Fights/Loudmouths/Asshole superiors/Younger pilots who think they “know it all”/Blondes/Jim Beam.
JONCCC
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What I learned doing this assignment is: That the more layers of intrigue you place on your characters the more they become alive and interesting to watch, especially in my own mind.
Assignment 1
EXAMPLE SHOW: INVASION – APPLE +
ANEESHA –Wronged housewife, Highly protective mother. Intelligent -went through medical school.Discovered an alien artifact/part. Does she really hold one of the keys to defeating the aliens? Will she?
MITSUKI – Deeply In love with Hinata. Highly trained JASA technician/Astronaut. Won’t give up trying to reach Hinata. Will she be the only one able to get her back alive? Can she help save Earth?
HINATA -Loves Mitsuki . Highly trained JASA Astronaut. Is Hinata still alive in the clutches of the aliens? Will she make it? Could she possibly help to defeat them?
CASPAR – Loner, loves his mother, stands up to bullies. Psychic abilities, can connect with the alien hive mind. Is he really dead? Has his mind combined with the aliens? Is he still the key to defeating them?
JAMILA – Tough chick, loves Caspar, fights for what she believes in. Can she still help Caspar? Is she some sort of conduit needed by him to connect with aliens?
In the final episode of the first season, the alien ship has been nuked in orbit and crashes to Earth. Upon closer inspection we see that are signs of life. Is the craft itself alive? Are the alien invaders still a threat?
Assignment 2
“THE EMM TRIANGLE”
Character Name: DR. XINGGUANG LILIANG nickname: – “SHING”
Role: Archeologist/Linguist, OWSA Astronaut.
Hidden Agendas: Seeks revenge for the death of her parents. Is sworn to secrecy, but wants to reveal the greatest secret humanity has ever stumbled upon.
Competition: Some of her fellow OWSA astronauts (who are actually MSS agents of the Chinese Government)
Secrets: Has extreme claustrophobia, childhood alien abductee, Could have possibly saved her parents, Knows the men responsible. Can understand & communicate with aliens. Beginning to understand the greatest secret of the universe.
Deception: Ready to give up all the secrets to the public. Acts like a “team player” but is ready to become a suicide bomber.
Wound: Her parents murdered and she could have saved them.
Secret Identity: A frightened little girl, an Avenging Angel
Character Name: COMMANDER RAYMOND BEECHAM – nickname: “RAYBEAM”
Role: Veteran pilot/Starship Commander
Hidden agendas: Wants to retire rich, eyes & ears of OWSA, wants to write a “tell all” novel.
Competition: Younger hotshot pilot who goes by the book, Guy who’s dating his ex-wife, OWSA General/Ground Control
Conspiracies: Wants to embarrass guy
Secrets: His vision is going, Still in love with ex-wife, Overhears something big.
Deception: Puts on an act like he’s a country bumpkin, but is extremely intelligent.
Wound: Screwed up his marriage, Lost the love of his life. Thinks making more money will win her back.
Secret Identity: Secretly contemplating selling information to Chinese/Russians for big $$$
JONCCC
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What I learned from this Assignment is:
That this a great test to put your characters through. I found it key in creating interesting and complex characters to populate the particular world I’m creating. As I ran each main character through the different questions, it not only forced me to think and change/tweak them for the better, but found it effected the plot line as a whole, which I thought was really fun! The beauty of this formula is that it can be used for any character in any story idea and have the same great result.
INVASION – APPLE +
CASPAR MORROW
A. Role in show: British Schoolboy
B. Unique Purpose/Expertise: Has psychic connection with the alien invaders.
C. Intrigue: His psychic abilities, feelings of guilt over the death of his mother.
D. Moral Issue: Must be induced into grand mal seizures to “connect “ with aliens. Must do whatever he has to make contact.
E. Unpredictable: He is somewhat frail and could possibly die from the seizures. He could potentially stop the invaders, but will he?
F. Empathetic: He is a good kid who grew up being bullied. We are rooting for him.
“THE EMM TRIANGLE”
Ancient artifacts have been discovered on the dark side of the Moon and Mars. An archeologist/Linguist is rushed through OWSA (Off World Space Administration) training to assist in the investigation. Her life soon gets intertwined with others involved including OWSA members, unscrupulous politicians and military leaders, both on the Moon Base, Mars Colony and Earth who are on the verge of discovering the biggest secret in the Universe.
LIEUTENANT Dr. XINGGUANG “SHING” LILIANG Phd.
30 year old CHINESE – AMERICAN
ARCHEOLOGIST/LINGUIST/PROFESSOR
TRAUMATIZED AS CHILD-ABDUCTED BY ALIENS
Both PARENTS (Archeologists) KILLED BY CHINESE GOVERNMENT (disguised as an accident)
SUFFERS FROM CLAUSTROPHOBIA AND DEPRESSION
HAS PSYCHIC ABILITIES
Attempts to continue and finish her parents work.
A. ROLE IN SHOW: OWSA (Off World Space Administration) Astronaut, Archeologist/Linguist/Psychic, brought on to aid in the investigation of ruins found on the Dark side of the Moon and Mars.
B. UNIQUE PURPOSE /EXPERTISE: Former UC Berkeley professor of Archeology-and Ancient Linguistics. Alien abductee/survivor with psychic abilities. (Unknown alien implants?) Suffers from depression.
C. INTRIGUE: What is secret beneath the surface? Abducted by Aliens as child-Suspects Parents were murdered by Chinese Government. Approached by the same government to spy for them. Unknowingly holds the key to completing her parents work and unlocking the biggest secret of the universe. Suffers from depression and has suicidal tendencies.
D. MORAL ISSUE: Forced to secretly gather information for the same government she fears are responsible for the death of her parents. Can she exact revenge? Pulled ever forward by a psychic vision she can’t get out of her head. Will she go against her Christian beliefs and kill, destroy and face going to Hell by committing suicide?
E. UNPREDICTABLE: What will she do next? Will she give the Chinese false information? Seek revenge? Sabotage? Keep her discoveries to herself? Destroy the evidence? Commit suicide?
F. EMPATHETIC: Why do we care? She’s been wronged in more ways than one, will she make those responsible pay? Can she overcome her depression? Her claustrophobia? Will she put all the pieces together and discover the secret? Will she share it with Humanity? Will she destroy it?
· DR. ZANG WEI CHEN, Head Archeologists, OWSA-Science Division
· FORMER HEAD OF CHINESE ANTIQUITIES, PROFESSOR TSINGHUA UNIVERSITY, BEIJING Educated at Harvard, University of London as well as TSINGHUA university.
A. Role in Show: Good Leader, Keeps team on point, Father like figure to Shing.
·
B. Unique Purpose/Expertise: Has a good eye for discovering/identifying artifacts and a knack for seeing the “bigger picture”.
C. Intrigue: What is the secret beneath the surface? He is an MSS (Ministry of State Security) informant.
D. Moral issue? Is science more important than loyalty to country?
E. Unpredictable: What will they do next? Might hide or destroy vital artifacts or information. May give away vital information/artifacts or might distort the truth.
F. Empathetic: Why do we care? He’s a good man and a grandfather with many grandchildren he loves. He wants them to be part of a much better future both on Earth and off world. Will he do the right thing?
COLONEL MARTIN LAMB, 30 year OWSA Astronaut assigned Moon-base Gamma II. Commands company of soldiers who’s mission is to defend the base from any and all threats. Also in assisting scientists with their hyper detailed mapping of the Moon’s dark side.
a. Role in Show: American OWSA/Military Division officer.
b. Unique Purpose/ Expertise: Ranking officer Moonbase Gamma II
c. Intrigue: What is the secret behind the surface? Disagrees with OWSA policy of international cooperation. Believes the USA should be in charge.
d. Moral Issue: What moral boundaries are they crossing? Deliberately keeping information from some of the other countries military officers.
e. UnpredictableStart a war.
f. Empathetic: Why do we care? It could mean the true extinction of humanity on all three worlds.
COMMANDER RAYMOND “RAYBEAM” BEECHAM –12 year OWSA Astronaut and Veteran Triangle Shuttle Craft Commander. Was one of the first Pilots to complete the first nonstop Earth-Moon-Mars circuits. His experience transporting passengers all these years has made him the eyes and ears of OWSA (in the field).
A. Role in Show: Veteran Pilot/Shuttle Commander
B. Unique Purpose/ Expertise: Extremely experienced space traveler hot shot pilot who has the “right stuff”.
C. Intrigue: What’s the secret beneath the surface? Wants to retire but has no retirement plan, he’s broke. He’s starting to gradually feel the early stages of Alzheimer’s.
D. Moral Issue: What moral boundaries are they crossing? Flys by the seat of his pants, instruments, instinct, training & luck. Loathes and distrusts computers and A.I. robotics. Doesn’t always obey orders. Has never lost a passenger.
E. Unpredictable: What will they do next? Turn off A.I./computer control. Take the wheel. Ignore OWSA. Do what he thinks is the right call.
F. Empathetic: Why do we care? He’s a likable “old school” kind of guy who is extremely human.
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“What I learned doing this assignment is that I had never thought of the characters as being in circles, but after looking at “Invasion” again, it was quite obvious. It’s really changed the way I think about creating characters.
DISCLAIMER WARNING: I’m just throwing out ideas for my sci-fi idea “The Triangle” and I’m hoping it will evolve into something unique and utterly intriguing as a we move through the class.
Circles of Characters: INVASION (Apple +)
Season 1, episodes 1 & 2
Main Character Circle: Aneesha Malik, Mitsuki Yomato, Sheriff John Bell Tyson,
Trevante Ward, Caspar Morrow
Connected Circle: Sarah Malik, Hinata, Jamila Huston, Luke Malik
Kaito Kawaguchi, Akira Hashimoto, Montgomery.
Environment Circle: Darwin Charles, Alfie Ademura, Togo Igowa, Learah Hall, Poppy Rees, Fara Aminah, Liam Davies, Lucy Spencer, Rupert Bailey, Tupac, Goatherd, David Barton, Patrick Mitchell, Kelly Mitchell, Mr. Edwards, Satoshi, Chavez, Ryusei, Japanese News Anchor, Takuya, National Guardsmen, Japanese Translator, Japanese Official, Afghani Father & Mother, Julian, Amanda Hornsby, Jason, Afghani Son/Daughter, Vice Minister Fukui, Kuching, Deputy Grady, Doctor Lockhart, etc., etc.
1. Create the three circles of characters for your show.” THE TRIANGLE”
A. Main Characters Circle: DR. MEGAN WRIGLEY PHD- First year OWSA Astronaut, assigned to MARS BASE GAMMA II’s geological/mining team. An Engineer who job is to assist in looking for precious metals on and below the Martian Surface. COLONEL MARTIN LAMB, 30 year OWSA Astronaut assigned MOON-BASE WEIGH STATION THETA LANGSTON. Commands company of soldiers who’s mission is to defend the base from any and all threats. Also in assisting scientists with their hyper detailed mapping of the Moon’s dark side. GEMSEY DANIELS, OWSA Mission Control technician. Always wanted to be an Astronaut, but couldn’t make the cut physically. She’s still involved as close as she possibly can be without suiting up. COMMANDER RAYMOND BEECHAM –12 year OWSA Astronaut andVeteran Triangle Shuttle Commander and SPY. Was one of the first Pilots to complete the first nonstop Earth-Moon-Mars circuits. Unknown to most, shutting passengers all these years has made him the eyes and ears of OWSA (in the field). ,MAJOR “KILLER” KELLY WILLIAMS, OWA Marine, Lunar Tank Driver. Veteran of the “Last War” on Earth. Not wanting to retire, she made the transition to low gravity better than most. DR. MERTAN MEEKS PHD, OWSA Triangular Archeologist and former college professor. Author of many books on Ancient Martian Artifact interpretation and is currently on a major dig in the Cydonia Region. DR. ALEXI GORBACHEV, OWSA Triangular Archeological, Associate of Dr Meeks with completely different theories. COLONEL JUN SONG YUN, OWA (Asia) Officer & Spy – looking for any bit of technological information he can get his hands on and pass along. Dreams of retiring a Billionaire. JAMES GOTTWELL (Director OWSA- Off World Space Administration) Uber intelligent and runs a tight ship. Been running OWSA for the past ten years. Good at putting out any political fires before they get out of control.B. Connected Circle: HIRAM BENJAMIN, OWPC (Off World Press Corps)GENERAL THEODORE CASEY OWA Earthbound.KIT “KITTEN CABOODLE” Supply Chief Moon-base Theta Langston SHEN YAN WANG, BOROSKINOV, DR. MARGARITA ROSARIO, DR HINTA JUNDEEP, MURRAY RHOADES, SAMSON LOCKHART, NANCY ANDERS, KIMBERLY LEVY, DEVLIN MCGREGOR, PAUL KENDALL C. Environment Circle: MISSION TRAINING OFFICERS, LIFT CREW, STATION RESIDENTS, DRILLING TEAM “ROUGHNECKS”, SOLDIERS, MAINTENANCE CREW, SCIENCE STAFF, INTELLIGENCE, ARCHEOLOGY TEAM, ANTHROPOLOGY TEAM, OWSA EMPLOYEES, MARS BASE CREW, EARTH BASE CREW<div>
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“What I learned doing this assignment is… that I learned for the first time how a serial series meant for streaming should be presented. How to create enough intrigue to compel the viewer to go on the ride and see where it leads.
“INVASION” Apple + 5 star model
Big Picture Hooks
What is going on? Something has invaded planet Earth? What exactly?<div>
</div><div> What makes these main characters intriguing and interesting?They are several random characters from completely different walks of life. They are a cross section of humanity- they represent “us” as residents of Earth
Main Characters—The small town sheriff, The Long Island family (loving mother-medical BG, cheating father, son, daughter), The female Japanese astronaut & her JASA lesbian lover, the soldier in Afghanistan, the British school children
Empathy / Distress
Mother- (caught husband cheating, went to Harvard med school, but didn’t finish)<div>JASA lesbian lover- must keep (her/ their) relationship a secret-she just lost the woman she loves-.Black American Soldier in foreign land cutoff from fellow soldiers, School children’s hierarchy- leaders and followers (bully vs weak kid)4. Layers / Open Loops
What type of alien race is invading Earth? Why? To what ends? How will the main characters deal with them? Will they survive? Will humanity be wiped out or enslaved? Can we defeat or repel them?5. Inviting obsession
It creates the need to have the unanswered questions answered. It does a great job of titillating the audience into wanting to accompany these characters into a situation where they themselves have no idea of what they will encounter or what the outcome will be. I
We need to SEE THE MONSTER(s) We need to know who, where, why & when! WTF is going to happen?
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Jon Carlson
I agree to the terms of this release form. 👍
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
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Jon Carlson
I’ve written several shorts, features & tv specs.
I want to learn to create, pitch & produce a totally original streaming series.
I’m a biker who also writes children’s books.