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  • Jonathan Parks

    Member
    March 29, 2021 at 3:17 am in reply to: Post Your Lesson 8 Assignment Here

    SCREENWRITING HOMEWORK 8

    Jon’s Beat Sheet Draft 2

    What I learned doing this assignment is… I learned that I do a lot of what Ive learned in this lesson naturally, but I have to convert to doing it methodically.

    THEME: A broken family’s grave need for a paradigm change, both as a group and individually. Each of the main characters is reaching out for help and for the change that will finally bring them true happiness and bring real meaning to their lives.

    Antagonist’s Beats:

    Detective volunteers for habitat for humanity

    Detective tries to avoid Judge Jones’s pressure to change jobs

    Detective snoops around Callahan’s crime scene

    He watches Callahan taken off to jail

    Detective questions Callahan in jail

    Detective meets Chance at Habitat volunteering

    He shares disdain with his job

    He talks dreams and realize they have similar dreams

    He jokingly makes a plan to leave the city and build on a lake

    He is amazed at their similarities

    He gives Chance his building manual

    Detective Begins Investigating the crime spree

    He calls Judge Jones and asks him to look into Judge Dreyfus

    Judge pressures him again about switch to the judicial side of justice

    Detective makes Judge think he’s right about changing jobs but he is thinking about homebuilding

    Detective’s stakeouts get him closer and closer to the crook

    He is outsmarted by the crook thanks to Carolina’s help

    Detective snoops around Callahan’s court proceedings

    Judge calls detective to thank him for the Dreyfus tip and tries to grill him

    Detective tells Judge Jones that the law sometimes needs a lil help to get to justice

    Detective and Mom show their bond and a bit of who they are personally

    He has proposed to his girlfriend and he’s a mommas boy

    PLACEHOLDER: need to learn moms potential power here

    Detective finally catches the crook and its Chance

    PLACEHOLDER: when and why does he reveal all he knows about being family

    Detective visits Callahan in jail for more questions, tells him about Chance, promises to help

    Squeezes Callahan’s hand. They have history, is it revealed now?

    PLACEHOLDER: when and why does he reveal it and how does that fit in Chances journey

    He hugs his dad for the first time in a while at the mistrial

    He whispers that his mom is working on getting Chance out of jail

    He escorts Chance out of jail

    Detective snatches sold sign out of ground triumphantly

    He and his brother over look the halfway done lakeside home dream together

    He watches as his mom is healed a bit along with Chances’s mom AND the whole family

    4 Act Structure

    Act 1:

    A Opening

    (Montage: The beginning of the day for main characters)

    INT. BUS – MORNING

    TE 1 Chance sees homestead billboard on the way to law school

    EXT. URBAN HOME CONSTRUCTION SITE – CONTINUOUS

    Detective volunteers for habitat for humanity

    INT. CALAHAN LAW OFFICE CONFERENCE ROOM – CONTINUOUS

    Dad lectures young lawyers in his office on power of details

    INT. CALAHAN HOME – CONTINUOUS

    Fiancé gets kids off to school on her way to work EXHAUSTED but COMMITTED

    INT. CALAHAN KITCHEN – CONTINUOUS

    Retired Mom sips her coffee and slides her a few dollars and a coffee to go THEN fires up a cig

    EXT. LAW SCHOOL CAMPUS – CONTINUOUS

    Chance urgently traverses the school campus…surveying it like he taking it all in

    EXT. COURTHOUSE STEPS – CONTINUOUS

    Detective tries to sneak by Judge Jones (you ignoring me?) SMDH

    INT. LAW SCHOOL HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS

    Chance walks the hallways at school to a locker and empties it

    Suddenly summoned into and admin office by the school dean

    INT. DEANS OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

    TE 2 Dean Johnson lectures him about needing successful kids like him in the community

    B Inciting Incident

    EXT. LAW SCHOOL HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS

    Chance quits college

    INT. DEANS OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

    Returns for his mechanics manual

    Chance now has a secret to hide

    INT. CALAHAN HOME – LATE AFTERNOON

    TE 3 Fiancé confronts him when he leaves kid alone to to go on job interview

    EXT. AUTO SHOP – AFTERNOON

    Busy high volume day

    EXT. AUTO SHOP BAY – AFTERNOON

    Gets a job fixing cars

    C Turning Point 1

    INT. CALAHAN HOME – LATENIGHT

    Dad kills a home invader

    EXT. CALAHAN HOME – LATENIGHT

    Police arrives as Dad exits home

    INT. CALAHAN HOME – LATENIGHT

    Dad goes to jail

    EXT. CALAHAN HOME – LATENIGHT

    He see Dad ride off in a police cruiser as he heads for his car

    Act 2:

    A New plan

    PLACEHOLDER: good place to montage and feel the weight of things

    INT. CALAHAN HOME – MORNING

    Chance promises his Mom he’ll take care of them

    Carolina seems unsure of it

    INT. AUTO SHOP BAY – AFTERNOON

    Chance works harder at work but the money isn’t enough

    EXT. CALAHAN PORCH – NIGHT

    TE 4 Fiancé wants a better life and leaves with the kid

    He has a rage filled outburst

    TE 5 Mom calms him, takes him to the far end of the porch

    He breaks down as mom tells him about his grandfather the carpenter – built this house

    EXT. PRISON – DAY

    Lots of inmate activity

    INT. CELL BLOCK – CONTINUOUS

    Feet walking down auster corridor

    INT. HOLDING ROOM

    Detective questions Callahan in jail

    B Plan in Action

    EXT. COMMERCIAL CONSTRUCTION SITE – NIGHT

    Chance has just landed a day worker job

    A construction Bell rings

    A prison horn sounds

    INT. PRISON VISITOR CENTER – DAY

    Chance visits dad in jail

    Guard says, he says looks like the same guy from last visit

    They both face the emotions they were pushing down

    PLACEHOLDER: need to see how dads situation is effecting chance

    is he scared, resentful, too busy or is he keeping busy so as not to face it

    maybe dad tells him to focus on work and hold things till he figures it out

    maybe dad hint to a hidden plan he has

    dad could motivate him to work even harder

    believe in himself (transcend the lazy past)

    PLACEHOLDER: montage

    Working the 2 jobs

    We see how hard the work is

    TE 8 He studies homebuilding in the little free time he has…

    He stops reading and stashes a wad of cash inside book

    Working the 2 jobs more

    TE 7 Chances jobs starting to pay off savings is growing

    The book is too fat…he has to find a new place for it

    We begin to see his excitement

    He pulls a new tool belt from a hardware store bag and puts it on

    He sees a slightly different person in the mirror

    How does he feel about the person? Disappointment, Fear of him failing, surprisingly proud?

    EXT. URBAN HOME CONSTRUCTION SITE – EARLY MORNING

    TE 9 Chance volunteers at Habitat to learn to build a house

    We see he got skills now

    Meets the Detective

    TE 10 They both share their disdain with their jobs

    TE 11 They talk dreams and realize they are similar dreams

    TE 12 They jokingly make a plan to leave the city and build on a lake

    They are amazed at similarities

    TE 13 Detective gives him his building manual

    C Turning Point 2. (MIDPOINT)

    INT. AUTO SHOP FRONT OFFICE – EVENING

    Chance gets fired for moonlighting the same day his night job gets stopped by the city inspector

    EXT. COMMERCIAL CONSTRUCTION SITE – NIGHT

    As Chance walks onto site, many workers walk off site and towards him

    He threads his way to an exception sign that says STOP WORK IMMEDIATELY

    Someone tells him as they walk by that it’ll be a month or two

    Payroll is held up too…no checks anytime soon…some kind of investigation?

    Act 3:

    A Rethink everything

    INT. CALAHAN GARAGE – NIGHT

    Chance finds and loads his dad’s handgun

    PLACEHOLDER:

    Chance becomes a crook

    Robbing, Stealing, Fencing, Scamming

    PLACEHOLDER:

    TE 14 Savings skyrockets

    PLACEHOLDER:

    Detective Begins Investigating the crime spree

    EXT. URBAN NEIGHBORHOOD – DAY

    TE 15 Between crimes… He helps an elderly man on a ladder fix his windows

    INT. BODEGA – EVENING

    TE 16 Between crimes… When he sees a woman neighbor buy cat food to eat

    EXT. NEIGHBOR’S FRONT PORCH – SAME EVENING

    He places groceries on her porch…this becomes a recurring deed

    EXT. CITY STREETS – DAY

    Detective calls Judge Jones from streets

    Says hope I’m not interrupting anything important

    INT. WINE AND SPIRITS WHOLESELLER – CONTINUOUS

    Nope, just pickin up some soda pop

    A bottle of XO cognac is wedged between a bottle of mina mesa cabernet and a bottle of Meiomi Pino Noir

    EXT. CITY STREETS – DAY

    Tells him Callahan’s Judge Karen Dreyfus is not clean for this case

    Says you might wanna look into it

    INT. WINE AND SPIRITS WHOLESELLER – CONTINUOUS

    When are you gonna look into making that career move

    Its a pay raise AND a paradigm shift

    EXT. CITY STREETS – DAY

    Detective puts the phone to his forehead

    Gets quiet

    Finally, he responds “you might be right about this hectic career choice”

    EXT. CITY STREETS – DAY

    Judge says now we’re making progress

    Then says ok, Ill investigate detective

    Then prods him about handling his own “caper” job in his hood

    Hangs up on detective

    B New plan

    EXT. BARBER SHOP – AFTERNOON

    Establishing shot

    EXT. BARBER SHOP – CONTINUOUS

    Chance learns about the Detective from TV news story as he preps for caper

    The entire place is rattling with commentary about the crimes

    Chance jokes to them that he now has to Tighten up his routine his overall plan

    They laugh and take it as a joke though he’s serious

    INT. DETECTIVE’S CAR – NIGHT

    He’s talking himself through his mission to corner the crook

    Turn by turn, street by street

    He looks, he sees someone, they evade him

    This goes on for a while but he seems to get closer and closer to the suspect

    He reaches over to the passenger seat and loads a round into the chamber

    INT. CAROLINA’S CAR – NIGHT

    TE 17 Fiancé follows him on a caper

    She is having a quiet but heated convo with her mom on the speaker phone as she searches the hood

    She looks urgently in every possible direction for something

    The convo is split between English and Spanish

    Out of nowhere she say’s “yeah, like this some bullshit Mammi!”

    She sees Chance in the distance and stops the car and convo and watches intensely

    EXT – DESERTED ALLEY – NIGHT

    TE 18 He lets a victim go free with out taking from them

    After shaking shaking down a victim Chance comes across something in his belongings that gives him pause

    The victim talks him into letting him go alive

    When the victim turns to walk away Chance calls him back

    And asks him a few questions about the item

    Them gives him everything back

    Chances phone suddenly vibrates

    He says to the victim “don’t walk…then screams RUN!

    INT. CAROLINA’S CAR – NIGHT

    TE 19 Fiancé calls him as he’s almost caught and guides him out of danger

    Carolina blurts out, that police cruiser you’ve been evading has you dead to rights Chance

    EXT – DESERTED ALLEY – NIGHT

    Chance can’t believe he’s hearing Carolina say this

    Suddenly headlights bend the corner

    Then Carolina speeds in the direction of the headlights but diverts last second

    EXT – DESERTED ALLEY – NIGHT

    TE 20 Detective left high and dry at the scene

    Detective is so focused spotting the crook that he narrowly escapes a collision

    When her car horn blares, he just shakes his head realizing she had the right of way

    He turns the corner and Chance and the victim are long gone

    INT. COURTROOM – DAY

    Detective slips into the back of the room and grabs the first open seat

    Judge Dryfus is forced to recuse herself

    She does all she can do to withhold her anger but can’t

    Judge says, do you even understand you killed someone’s kid?

    Callahan, I STOPPED a 20 year old armed intruder…home invader… from possibly murdering my family

    She just glares at him as she snatches up her papers and leaves

    Detective slips away unnoticed

    Bailiff: ALL RISE!

    INT. JUDGES CHAMBERS – CONTINUOUS

    Judge Jones leans over his computer

    The monitors are reflected in his glasses and the bright light is refracting on his face

    He calls Detective cell with a short cryptic message

    Thanks for the tip Detective she was definitely compromised friend of a friend’s rotten ass son

    INT. COURTHOUSE HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS

    Detective thanks him for listening

    INT. JUDGES CHAMBERS – CONTINUOUS

    Judge Jones you wanna share your motivation

    INT. COURTHOUSE HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS

    Just not sure the law was giving everyone a fair shot at …justice

    INT. JUDGES CHAMBERS – CONTINUOUS

    Judge Jones you can trust the law… it works. You’re a lawyer yourself, you know that

    INT. COURTHOUSE HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS

    Yeah but sometimes the law needs oil change and a jump start or it’ll leave your ass stranded or worst, run your ass over…Sir

    INT. JUDGES CHAMBERS – CONTINUOUS

    Good day Detective

    C Turning Point 3: Huge failure / Major shift

    INT. DETECTIVE’S LIVING ROOM

    Meet detectives mom

    Learn he’s a mommas boy

    Learn he has a proposed to his girlfriend

    Tipped off goes after crook

    EXT. URBAN AREA – NIGHT

    Detective is watching Chance

    Sets him up good

    Chance is arrested on 20 counts

    Looking at 20-80 years in prison

    INT. PRISON CELL – DAY

    Chance is in jail dejected as he paces in his small cell

    He talks to himself “I can’t do this”

    PLACE HOLDER: Get more progress from others

    INT. PRISON CELL – AFTERNOON

    Does push ups, sit ups between going crazy

    He runs in place

    INT. PRISON CELL – NIGHT

    Chance considers suicide

    His building manual and dreams prevent that

    He recommits to his dream of building a home

    Act 4:

    A Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict

    INT. PRISON – DAY

    Detective visits Callahan in jail for a few unanswered questions

    Detective Delivers Chances Fate

    Detective makes promise to do what he can to help

    TE 21 Dad says don’t worry about me just Chance

    They squeeze hands as they cannot hug

    INT. COURTROOM – AFTERNOON

    Dads trial begins up to All Rise…

    Judge Jones is announce and we see delight on Detective’s face

    Dad calls Sergeant Antoni Mills (arresting officer) to the stand

    TE 22 Dad gets him to prove him not guilty through an exercise in the courtroom

    TE 23 Judge stops the hearing and rule it a mistrial

    INT. COURTROOM HALLWAY – MOMENTS LATER

    The Prosecuting Attorney reluctantly answers his cell phone and says Yes Sir, No, Sir, UH yes

    Detective notices then whispers something to Dad

    Dad face grows with excitement and he tears up as Detective pats him on the shoulders

    INT. DA’s OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

    Barry’s mom arranges for Chance’s release

    B Resolution

    (Montage: The beginning of a new day for main characters)

    EXT. PRISON BOXING CLUB – DAY

    The old weak scared Chance throw a couple body blows then a knockdown shot to his opponent

    A prison guard summons Chance Callahan

    Chance exclaims that he aint done nothin wrong that was a clean shot

    Prison Gate buzzer blares

    Chance and Barry walk out of the facility with belongings in hand

    EXT. CALLAHAN LAW OFFICES – DAY

    TE 25 Dads lawsuits are dropped and his finances and home are safe again

    The family removes notices and official tape and out of business signs from the property

    Landscapers work on the yard

    Family is cleaning exterior

    Or grand reopening signs

    EXT. CALLAHAN HOME – DAY

    Dad glares at the for sale sign in his front yard

    He looks around at all the neighbors looking at him

    Then snatches the for sale sign out of the ground at the same time that

    EXT. LAKESIDE HOME BUILD PROJECT – MONTHS LATER

    Barry snatches the SOLD sign out of the ground and tosses it to Chance

    TE 26 The 2 brothers are halfway done building their twin lake houses

    EXT. LAKEHOUSE – MOMENTS LATER

    Mom confronts Sylvia

    It looks like trouble

    Mom thanks her

    Becomes a personality match made in heaven

    Instant sisters

    As the rest of the family joins them and Dad and Barry take away their cigarettes

    EXT. LAKE HOUSE AERIAL – CONTINUOUS

    TE 27 the view rises to reveal their majestic lakeside property with nothing but promise

  • Jonathan Parks

    Member
    March 28, 2021 at 8:49 pm in reply to: Post Your Lesson 7 Assignment Here

    SCREENWRITING HOMEWORK 7

    Jon’s High Speed Beat Sheet

    What I learned doing this assignment is… I have been doing much of the high speed technique and place holders already on my own. Now I just have to put them into slug line format and condense the descriptions

    4 Act Structure for Protagonist

    Act 1:

    A Opening

    (Montage: The beginning of the day for main characters)

    INT. BUS – MORNING

    TE 1 Chance sees homestead billboard on the way to law school

    EXT. URBAN HOME CONSTRUCTION SITE – CONTINUOUS

    Detective volunteers for habitat for humanity

    INT. CALAHAN LAW OFFICE CONFERENCE ROOM – CONTINUOUS

    Dad lectures young lawyers in his office on power of details

    INT. CALAHAN HOME – CONTINUOUS

    Fiancé gets kids off to school on her way to work EXHAUSTED but COMMITTED

    INT. CALAHAN KITCHEN – CONTINUOUS

    Retired Mom sips her coffee and slides her a few dollars and a coffee to go THEN fires up a cig

    EXT. LAW SCHOOL CAMPUS – CONTINUOUS

    Chance urgently traverses the school campus…surveying it like he taking it all in

    EXT. COURTHOUSE STEPS – CONTINUOUS

    Detective tries to sneak by Judge Jones (you ignoring me?) SMDH

    INT. LAW SCHOOL HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS

    Chance walks the hallways at school to a locker and empties it

    Suddenly summoned into and admin office by the school dean

    INT. DEANS OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

    TE 2 Dean Johnson lectures him about needing successful kids like him in the community

    B Inciting Incident

    EXT. LAW SCHOOL HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS

    Chance quits college

    INT. DEANS OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

    Returns for his mechanics manual

    Chance now has a secret to hide

    INT. CALAHAN HOME – LATE AFTERNOON

    TE 3 Fiancé confronts him when he leaves kid alone to to go on job interview

    EXT. AUTO SHOP – AFTERNOON

    Busy high volume day

    EXT. AUTO SHOP BAY – AFTERNOON

    Gets a job fixing cars

    C Turning Point 1

    INT. CALAHAN HOME – LATENIGHT

    Dad kills a home invader

    EXT. CALAHAN HOME – LATENIGHT

    Police arrives as Dad exits home

    INT. CALAHAN HOME – LATENIGHT

    Dad goes to jail

    EXT. CALAHAN HOME – LATENIGHT

    He see Dad ride off in a police cruiser as he heads for his car

    Act 2:

    A New plan

    PLACEHOLDER: good place to montage and feel the weight of things

    INT. CALAHAN HOME – MORNING

    Chance promises his Mom he’ll take care of them

    Carolina seems unsure of it

    INT. AUTO SHOP BAY – AFTERNOON

    Chance works harder at work but the money isn’t enough

    EXT. CALAHAN PORCH – NIGHT

    TE 4 Fiancé wants a better life and leaves with the kid

    He has a rage filled outburst

    TE 5 Mom calms him, takes him to the far end of the porch

    He breaks down as mom tells him about his grandfather the carpenter – built this house

    EXT. PRISON – DAY

    Lots of inmate activity

    INT. CELL BLOCK – CONTINUOUS

    Feet walking down auster corridor

    INT. HOLDING ROOM

    Detective questions Callahan in jail

    B Plan in Action

    EXT. COMMERCIAL CONSTRUCTION SITE – NIGHT

    Chance has just landed a day worker job

    A construction Bell rings

    A prison horn sounds

    INT. PRISON VISITOR CENTER – DAY

    Chance visits dad in jail

    Guard says, he says looks like the same guy from last visit

    They both face the emotions they were pushing down

    PLACEHOLDER: need to see how dads situation is effecting chance

    is he scared, resentful, too busy or is he keeping busy so as not to face it

    maybe dad tells him to focus on work and hold things till he figures it out

    maybe dad hint to a hidden plan he has

    dad could motivate him to work even harder

    believe in himself (transcend the lazy past)

    PLACEHOLDER: montage

    Working the 2 jobs

    We see how hard the work is

    TE 8 He studies homebuilding in the little free time he has…

    He stops reading and stashes a wad of cash inside book

    Working the 2 jobs more

    TE 7 Chances jobs starting to pay off savings is growing

    The book is too fat…he has to find a new place for it

    We begin to see his excitement

    He pulls a new tool belt from a hardware store bag and puts it on

    He sees a slightly different person in the mirror

    How does he feel about the person? Disappointment, Fear of him failing, surprisingly proud?

    EXT. URBAN HOME CONSTRUCTION SITE – EARLY MORNING

    TE 9 Chance volunteers at Habitat to learn to build a house

    We see he got skills now

    Meets the Detective

    TE 10 They both share their disdain with their jobs

    TE 11 They talk dreams and realize they are similar dreams

    TE 12 They jokingly make a plan to leave the city and build on a lake

    They are amazed at similarities

    TE 13 Detective gives him his building manual

    C Turning Point 2. (MIDPOINT)

    INT. AUTO SHOP FRONT OFFICE – EVENING

    Chance gets fired for moonlighting the same day his night job gets stopped by the city inspector

    EXT. COMMERCIAL CONSTRUCTION SITE – NIGHT

    As Chance walks onto site, many workers walk off site and towards him

    He threads his way to an exception sign that says STOP WORK IMMEDIATELY

    Someone tells him as they walk by that it’ll be a month or two

    Payroll is held up too…no checks anytime soon…some kind of investigation?

    Act 3:

    A Rethink everything

    INT. CALAHAN GARAGE – NIGHT

    Chance finds and loads his dad’s handgun

    PLACEHOLDER:

    Chance becomes a crook

    Robbing, Stealing, Fencing, Scamming

    PLACEHOLDER:

    TE 14 Savings skyrockets

    PLACEHOLDER:

    Detective Begins Investigating the crime spree

    EXT. URBAN NEIGHBORHOOD – DAY

    TE 15 Between crimes… He helps an elderly man on a ladder fix his windows

    INT. BODEGA – EVENING

    TE 16 Between crimes… When he sees a woman neighbor buy cat food to eat

    EXT. NEIGHBOR’S FRONT PORCH – SAME EVENING

    He places groceries on her porch…this becomes a recurring deed

    EXT. CITY STREETS – DAY

    Detective calls Judge Jones from streets

    Says hope I’m not interrupting anything important

    INT. WINE AND SPIRITS WHOLESELLER – CONTINUOUS

    Nope, just pickin up some soda pop

    A bottle of XO cognac is wedged between a bottle of mina mesa cabernet and a bottle of Meiomi Pino Noir

    EXT. CITY STREETS – DAY

    Tells him Callahan’s Judge Karen Dreyfus is not clean for this case

    Says you might wanna look into it

    INT. WINE AND SPIRITS WHOLESELLER – CONTINUOUS

    When are you gonna look into making that career move

    Its a pay raise AND a paradigm shift

    EXT. CITY STREETS – DAY

    Detective puts the phone to his forehead

    Gets quiet

    Finally, he responds “you might be right about this hectic career choice”

    EXT. CITY STREETS – DAY

    Judge says now we’re making progress

    Then says ok, Ill investigate detective

    Then prods him about handling his own “caper” job in his hood

    Hangs up on detective

    B New plan

    EXT. BARBER SHOP – AFTERNOON

    Establishing shot

    EXT. BARBER SHOP – CONTINUOUS

    Chance learns about the Detective from TV news story as he preps for caper

    The entire place is rattling with commentary about the crimes

    Chance jokes to them that he now has to Tighten up his routine his overall plan

    They laugh and take it as a joke though he’s serious

    INT. DETECTIVE’S CAR – NIGHT

    He’s talking himself through his mission to corner the crook

    Turn by turn, street by street

    He looks, he sees someone, they evade him

    This goes on for a while but he seems to get closer and closer to the suspect

    He reaches over to the passenger seat and loads a round into the chamber

    INT. CAROLINA’S CAR – NIGHT

    TE 17 Fiancé follows him on a caper

    She is having a quiet but heated convo with her mom on the speaker phone as she searches the hood

    She looks urgently in every possible direction for something

    The convo is split between English and Spanish

    Out of nowhere she say’s “yeah, like this some bullshit Mammi!”

    She sees Chance in the distance and stops the car and convo and watches intensely

    EXT – DESERTED ALLEY – NIGHT

    TE 18 He lets a victim go free with out taking from them

    After shaking shaking down a victim Chance comes across something in his belongings that gives him pause

    The victim talks him into letting him go alive

    When the victim turns to walk away Chance calls him back

    And asks him a few questions about the item

    Them gives him everything back

    Chances phone suddenly vibrates

    He says to the victim “don’t walk…then screams RUN!

    INT. CAROLINA’S CAR – NIGHT

    TE 19 Fiancé calls him as he’s almost caught and guides him out of danger

    Carolina blurts out, that police cruiser you’ve been evading has you dead to rights Chance

    EXT – DESERTED ALLEY – NIGHT

    Chance can’t believe he’s hearing Carolina say this

    Suddenly headlights bend the corner

    Then Carolina speeds in the direction of the headlights but diverts last second

    EXT – DESERTED ALLEY – NIGHT

    TE 20 Detective left high and dry at the scene

    Detective is so focused spotting the crook that he narrowly escapes a collision

    When her car horn blares, he just shakes his head realizing she had the right of way

    He turns the corner and Chance and the victim are long gone

    INT. COURTROOM – DAY

    Detective slips into the back of the room and grabs the first open seat

    Judge Dryfus is forced to recuse herself

    She does all she can do to withhold her anger but can’t

    Judge says, do you even understand you killed someone’s kid?

    Callahan, I STOPPED a 20 year old armed intruder…home invader… from possibly murdering my family

    She just glares at him as she snatches up her papers and leaves

    Detective slips away unnoticed

    Bailiff: ALL RISE!

    INT. JUDGES CHAMBERS – CONTINUOUS

    Judge Jones leans over his computer

    The monitors are reflected in his glasses and the bright light is refracting on his face

    He calls Detective cell with a short cryptic message

    Thanks for the tip Detective she was definitely compromised friend of a friend’s rotten ass son

    INT. COURTHOUSE HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS

    Detective thanks him for listening

    INT. JUDGES CHAMBERS – CONTINUOUS

    Judge Jones you wanna share your motivation

    INT. COURTHOUSE HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS

    Just not sure the law was giving everyone a fair shot at …justice

    INT. JUDGES CHAMBERS – CONTINUOUS

    Judge Jones you can trust the law… it works. You’re a lawyer yourself, you know that

    INT. COURTHOUSE HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS

    Yeah but sometimes the law needs oil change and a jump start or it’ll leave your ass stranded or worst, run your ass over…Sir

    INT. JUDGES CHAMBERS – CONTINUOUS

    Good day Detective

    C Turning Point 3: Huge failure / Major shift

    INT. DETECTIVE’S LIVING ROOM

    Meet detectives mom

    Learn he’s a mommas boy

    Learn he has a proposed to his girlfriend

    Tipped off goes after crook

    EXT. URBAN AREA – NIGHT

    Detective is watching Chance

    Sets him up good

    Chance is arrested on 20 counts

    Looking at 20-80 years in prison

    INT. PRISON CELL – DAY

    Chance is in jail dejected as he paces in his small cell

    He talks to himself “I can’t do this”

    PLACE HOLDER: Get more progress from others

    INT. PRISON CELL – AFTERNOON

    Does push ups, sit ups between going crazy

    He runs in place

    INT. PRISON CELL – NIGHT

    Chance considers suicide

    His building manual and dreams prevent that

    He recommits to his dream of building a home

    Act 4:

    A Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict

    INT. PRISON – DAY

    Detective visits Callahan in jail for a few unanswered questions

    Detective Delivers Chances Fate

    Detective makes promise to do what he can to help

    TE 21 Dad says don’t worry about me just Chance

    They squeeze hands as they cannot hug

    INT. COURTROOM – AFTERNOON

    Dads trial begins up to All Rise…

    Judge Jones is announce and we see delight on Detective’s face

    Dad calls Sergeant Antoni Mills (arresting officer) to the stand

    TE 22 Dad gets him to prove him not guilty through an exercise in the courtroom

    TE 23 Judge stops the hearing and rule it a mistrial

    INT. COURTROOM HALLWAY – MOMENTS LATER

    The Prosecuting Attorney reluctantly answers his cell phone and says Yes Sir, No, Sir, UH yes

    Detective notices then whispers something to Dad

    Dad face grows with excitement and he tears up as Detective pats him on the shoulders

    INT. DA’s OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

    Barry’s mom arranges for Chance’s release

    B Resolution

    (Montage: The beginning of a new day for main characters)

    EXT. PRISON BOXING CLUB – DAY

    The old weak scared Chance throw a couple body blows then a knockdown shot to his opponent

    A prison guard summons Chance Callahan

    Chance exclaims that he aint done nothin wrong that was a clean shot

    Prison Gate buzzer blares

    Chance and Barry walk out of the facility with belongings in hand

    EXT. CALLAHAN LAW OFFICES – DAY

    TE 25 Dads lawsuits are dropped and his finances and home are safe again

    The family removes notices and official tape and out of business signs from the property

    Landscapers work on the yard

    Family is cleaning exterior

    Or grand reopening signs

    EXT. CALLAHAN HOME – DAY

    Dad glares at the for sale sign in his front yard

    He looks around at all the neighbors looking at him

    Then snatches the for sale sign out of the ground at the same time that

    EXT. LAKESIDE HOME BUILD PROJECT – MONTHS LATER

    Barry snatches the SOLD sign out of the ground and tosses it to Chance

    TE 26 The 2 brothers are halfway done building their twin lake houses

    EXT. LAKEHOUSE – MOMENTS LATER

    Mom confronts Sylvia

    It looks like trouble

    Mom thanks her

    Becomes a personality match made in heaven

    Instant sisters

    As the rest of the family joins them and Dad and Barry take away their cigarettes

    EXT. LAKE HOUSE AERIAL – CONTINUOUS

    TE 27 the view rises to reveal their majestic lakeside property with nothing but promise

  • Jonathan Parks

    Member
    March 24, 2021 at 7:44 pm in reply to: Post Your Lesson 6 Assignment Here

    Jon’s Transformational Events

    What I learned doing this assignment is… I am much further along in solid story structure AND everything in between. Also, I’m realizing that I have to slow down and let the lessons motivate some of my brainstorming.

    Character ARC / Transformation:

    Chance puts his sad criminal behavior behind him and builds a happy and prosperous life using his brain.

    Internal Journey:

    Feeling terrible about his criminal ways to feeling great about achieving things legally.

    External Journey:

    From being a two bit hustler to becoming a homeowner and business owner

    Old Ways:

    Not giving a shit about people

    being irresponsible

    Not having ambition

    Not seeing himself successful in the future

    being what his dad loathes

    having nothing

    being full of rage and confusion

    New Ways:

    genuinely caring about people

    being responsible

    being more of what his dad would have wanted

    owning a home and a business just like his dad

    conquering his rage and learning where it came from

    Make a list of 6 – 8 changes or steps that need to happen for that character to go from who they are in the beginning (Old Ways) to who they are in the ending (New Ways). Sequence the steps from easiest to most difficult.

    Transformations Need:

    Stop being lazy and irresponsible

    Recognize that there is a better life for him in the future

    Find motivation and ambition

    See the level of power that is within him to achieve his goals

    Get off the criminal path and onto the legit path

    Learn to make a plan and execute the plan

    Stop doubting himself and see himself successful in the future

    Begin to have empathy and sympathy for others

    Get a handle on his temper, anger and rage

    Become personally valuable

    Become financially valuable

    Work to become secure

    Brainstorm dramatic events or tests that could cause those changes for the character.

    Sequence the steps from easiest to most difficult. This will imply the journey the character takes.

    Transformational Events:

    He leaves the kid alone to make a run. Fiancé catches him and confronts him

    Dean Johnson pressures him to stay in school to no avail

    Fiancé lets him know she wants a better life and is taking a break with the kid

    He has a pageful outbreak

    Between crimes… He helps an elderly man on a ladder fix his windows

    Between crimes… When he sees a woman is buy cat food eating cat food he brings her groceries

    Fiancé follows him on a caper

    He lets a victim go free with out taking from them

    Fiancé calls him as he’s almost caught and guides him out of danger

    His mom tells him about his grandfather the carpenter – built this house

    He sees the Habitat billboard and pursues it

    Detective takes him to see his lakeside lot he plans to build on

    He buys part of the lot from the detective

    He builds his home alongside his brother’s home

    Add these transformational events to your four act structure.

    4 Act Structure for Protagonist

    Act 1:

    A Opening

    The beginning of the day for main characters

    Chance sees homestead billboard on the way to law school

    Its where…

    Detective volunteers for habitat for humanity

    Dad lectures young lawyers in his office on power of details

    Fiancé gets kids off to school on her way to work EXHAUSTED but COMMITTED

    Retired Mom sips her coffee and slides her a few dollars and a coffee to go THEN fires up a cig

    Chance urgently traverses the school campus…surveying it like he taking it all in

    Detective tries to sneak by Judge Jones (you ignoring me?) SMDH

    Chance walks the hallways at school to a locker and empties it

    Suddenly summoned into and admin office by the school dean

    Long stares then the verdict

    Dean Johnson Are you self destructing? No, let me be real…YOU are self destructing

    Chance says school is not what he wants…he’s miserable…I’m here for all the wrong reasons

    Dean asks you have a kid and a fiancé what is your plan your life plan

    Work, save, buy some land by a lake and build my own home

    Dean and how will you pay for it all assuming you don’t even have a job yet

    Chance just glares at his assumption

    Dean Johnson lectures him about needing successful kids like him in the community

    Who says I won’t be successful?

    Chance Its over…

    Dean what’s over?

    Chance this conversation

    B Inciting Incident

    Chance quits college

    Leaves his books behind with Dean

    Returns for his mechanics manual

    Fiancé confronts him when he leaves kid alone to to go on job interview

    Gets a job fixing cars

    Chance now has a secret to hide

    C Turning Point 1

    Dad kills a home invader

    The laws are not on his side

    He goes to jail

    Act 2:

    A New plan

    Chance promises his Mom he’ll take care of them

    Carolina seems unsure of it

    Chance works harder at work but the money isn’t enough

    Fiancé lets him know she wants a better life and is taking a break with the kid

    He has a rage filled outburst when they leave

    Mom calms him and tells him about his grandfather the carpenter – built this house

    Detective visits Callahan in jail with questions

    Something peculiar STEPPED ON FOOT QUESTIONS

    Calahan is out of his mind irritated with the system and blurts out everything but answers

    a civil lawasuit for $1 million dollars I don’t have

    My home is going into foreclosure

    With my wife and family in it

    And ur asking me about stepping on a foot!!

    Im done! He walks off then yells back

    They better not touch my hellcat!!

    B Plan in Action

    He picks up an onsite job on a construction site

    Chances jobs starting to pay off savings is growing

    He studies homebuilding in the little free time he has

    He volunteers at Habitat to learn to build a house

    Meets the Detective

    Im Detective Wolski but Barry is good

    Chance is startled to be chatting up the police

    Detective eventually recognizes him as his brother

    Questions him on a few things

    Chance is startled to be chatting up the police

    They both share their disdain with their jobs

    They talk dreams and realize they are similar dreams

    They jokingly make a plan to leave the city and build on a lake

    They play a guessing game about their fav things and are amazed at similarities

    They admire each other

    Detective shows him his building manual

    Chance’s spirit is lit on fire as he flips through it

    Detective says keep it ill grab another one

    Maybe you’ll learn enough to help me one day

    C Turning Point 2. (MIDPOINT)

    He gets fired for moonlighting the same day his night job gets stopped by the city inspector

    Act 3:

    A Rethink everything

    Chance becomes a crook

    Robbing, Stealing, Fencing, Scamming

    Savings skyrockets

    Detective Begins Investigating the crime spree

    Between crimes… He helps an elderly man on a ladder fix his windows

    Between crimes… When he sees a woman is buy cat food eating cat food he brings her groceries

    Detective calls Judge Jones from streets

    Tells him Callahan’s Judge Karen Dreyfus is not clean for this case

    Says you might wanna look into it

    B New plan

    Chance learns about the Detective from TV news story as he preps for caper

    Vows to Tighten up his routine and the overall plan

    Fiancé follows him on a caper

    He lets a victim go free with out taking from them

    Fiancé calls him as he’s almost caught and guides him out of danger

    Detective left high and dry at the scene

    Judge Dryfus is forced to recuse herself

    Judge Jones calls Detective cell with a short cryptic message

    Thanks for the tip Detective she was definitely compromised friend of a friend’s rotten ass son

    Detective thanks him for listening

    Judge Jones rejects it having not done anything illegal

    Detective right the law, trust the law

    Judge Jones it works

    Yeah but sometimes it needs oil change and a jump start or it’ll leave your ass stranded or run your ass over

    Good day Detective

    C Turning Point 3: Huge failure / Major shift

    Detective gets an urgent text and rushes out the house

    Detective is watching Chance

    Sets him up good

    Chance is arrested on 20 counts

    Looking at 20-80 years in prison

    Chance is in jail dejected as he paces in his small cell

    Does push up, sit ups between going crazy

    He runs in place

    Time goes by and he now has a thick raggedy beard staring at the ceiling

    Suddenly, he tears a few strips of his sheet

    Braids them together slowly

    Tests the strength of the long braid

    Then ties a noose and drops it on the bed

    He searches for a pencil then paper

    But only finds his building manual

    He whips to the dedication and finds a big blank spot on the page and rips it out

    When he does he reads the first page of the manual

    Its a motivational introduction that reads

    “Build Your Dream Home & Change Your Lifestyle in 90 days”

    Once again a fire is lit inside him

    He urgently turns over the blank page and draws a sketch of what he plans to build

    Then he reads voraciously

    Act 4:

    A Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict

    Detective visits Callahan in jail for a few unanswered questions

    They carry on like adversaries

    Detective Delivers Chances Fate

    Detective makes promise to do what he can to help

    Dad says don’t worry about me just Chance

    Before they part Detective reaches for dads hand

    Dad squeezes back and says, I know…you are sorry, I know not your fault son

    Dad says I’m sorry too

    By the time Detective says for what

    Dad shoves him away, calls him fuckin asshole and retreats calling on guards

    Dads trial begins up to All Rise…

    Judge Jones is announce and we see delight on Detective’s face

    Judge then continues the harsh treatment that Judge Dryfus started

    Dad calls Sergeant Antoni Mills (arresting officer) to the stand

    Dad gets him to prove him not guilty through an exercise in the courtroom

    Judge stops the hearing and rule it a mistrial

    Dad and Detective share a moment from a distance

    Then suddenly, dad walks across the room and hugs Detective and quickly part

    The Prosecuting Attorney reluctantly answers his cell phone and says Yes Sir, No, Sir, UH yes

    Detective leans back in an whispers something to Dad

    Dad face grows with excitement and he tears up as Detective pats him on the shoulders

    DA is cursing at his team over the phone then slams it shut

    Phone rings immediately

    His brother’s mother the ex DA pulls a favor and gets him out of jail around the same time as dad

    Mr Claiborne right?

    AG Claiborne, what can I do for you

    This. Is her name you might remember me from our early days working in the same building on main?

    Cant say I do, but what is your issue

    My issue is that you have a very serious problem heading your way

    And I need a favor

    So maybe its no problem for you if you can help

    Whoever this is I don’t have the time…

    Under the floor boards of the janitor’s closet right down the hall from you

    You will find a box of files

    The box will read :…

    Most of the files in the box with contain blank sheets of paper

    But one of the files will be of great interest and value to you and your family and your freedom

    When you find the box of files and walk down your dirty criminal memory lane

    You will have an uncontrollable urge to set it on fire.
    Feel free to do so…

    There are 2 more identical boxes in similar cleverly tucked away places

    Ill call you tomorrow with a small favor you will be overjoyed to take care of for me

    DA has the floor ripped up and sees a file box labeled “1 of 3 mf”

    DA tells his staffer to get me on the AG’s lunch schedule and I mean today, just tell him I’m treating

    B Resolution

    Dads lawsuits are dropped and his finances and home are safe again

    The 2 brothers are halfway done building their twin lake houses

    Funny Barry introduces his girlfriend/fiance to Chance

    Chance says please don’t tell me I have a sister too?

    Yes you do

    Chance yells for dad

    Carolina joins Chance and intros herself to

    Sister in law

    She says soon to be sister in law

    Chance oh shit congrats fam!!!

    Dad and Mom visit them and bring a check to help them finish

    Dad I sold the hellcat… not much but it’ll buy a shitload of lumber and nails and some shingles maybe

    Dad once the lawsuit is reversed I can help you more

    He turns to Barry and finishes his statement “Son”

    Then to Chance “Son”

    The two brothers simultaneously say the same thing “Dad, we’re good…”

    Then they laugh at themselves

    Chance we’re fuckin twins is what we are

    Barry except I’m older

    Chance you’re older?

    The family all join in on the banter

    Until they notice Mom walking over to Barri’s Mom

    Everyone gets nervous, worried

    Mom stops infant of her sitting regally in a wheelchair smoking a cigarette

    They stare at each other

    A long time goes by

    Then Mom reaches out and hugs her tightly

    Everyone exhales and smiles

    Mom whispers Thank you as her tears well up

    And I’m sorry for keeping them apart all this time

    Sylvia WE kept them apart and Im sorry too, but that’s over now…they’re together, happy and young

    Mom And we getting old AF

    Sylvia SMDH girl

    They both wipe their tears and sign

    Mom points to cigarrette

    Mom U got another one of them uhh…

    Barry’s Mom “Sylvia” hell, sit down lets smoke the whole pack

    Mom says as she sits next to her on a picnic bench

    Oh, i see you’re bad as me, Huh!

    Sylvia birds of a feather

    As the rest of the family joins them and Dad and Barry take away their cigarettes

    the view rises to reveal their majestic lakeside property with nothing but promise

  • Jonathan Parks

    Member
    March 24, 2021 at 5:31 pm in reply to: Post Your Lesson 5 Assignment Here

    Jon’s 4 Act Transformational Structure

    What I learned doing this assignment is… that I have been writing without the tools that make writing easier, quicker and fun. This format is allowing me to quickly develop my story in great detail as well as in basic beats.

    Create a first draft of your 4 Act Transformational Structure.

    Give us the following:

    Concept

    After his father and provider gets convicted, a once innocent Chance Adams, without a worry in the world is suddenly thrust into the jaws of a lion (the real world). He now has to do what he’s never had to before…Survive…by hook or crook. He chooses crook.

    Main Conflict

    Detective Barry Jones won’t stop at anything to catch this new crook. The crimes are all in his own neighborhood, so its personal and his reputation is also at stake

    Old Ways:

    Not giving a shit about people

    being irresponsible

    being what his dad loathes

    having nothing

    being full of rage and confusion

    New Ways:

    genuinely caring about people

    being responsible

    being more of what his dad would have wanted

    owning a home and a business just like his dad

    conquering his rage and learning where it came from.

    2. Fill in each of these with the answers you have right now.

    Act 1:

    A Opening

    The beginning of the day for main characters

    Chance sees homestead billboard on the way to law school CARE FREE

    Its where…

    Detective volunteers for habitat for humanity

    Dad lectures young lawyers in his office on power of details

    Fiancé gets kids off to school on her way to work EXHAUSTED

    Retired Mom sips her coffee and slides her a few dollars and a coffee to go THEN fires up a cig

    Chance urgently traverses the school campus…surveying it like he taking it all in

    Detective tries to sneak by Judge Jones (you ignoring me?) SMDH

    Chance walks the hallways at school to a locker and empties it

    Suddenly summoned into and admin office by the school dean

    Long stares then the verdict

    Dean Johnson Are you self destructing? No, let me be real…YOU are self destructing

    Chance says school is not what he wants…he’s miserable…I’m here for all the wrong reasons

    Dean Johnson gives him piece of mind about needing successful kids like him in the community

    Who says I won’t be successful?

    B Inciting Incident

    Chance quits college

    Leaves his books behind with Dean

    Returns for his mechanics manual

    Gets a job fixing cars

    Chance now has a secret to hide

    C Turning Point 1

    Dad kills a home invader

    The laws are not on his side

    He goes to jail

    Act 2:

    A New plan

    Chance promises his Mom he’ll take care of them

    Carolina seems unsure of it

    Chance works harder at work but the money isn’t enough

    Detective visits Callahan in jail with questions

    Something peculiar STEPPED ON FOOT QUESTIONS

    Calahan is out of his mind irritated with the system and blurts out everything but answers

    a civil lawasuit for $1 million dollars I don’t have

    My home is going into foreclosure

    With my wife and family in it

    And ur asking me about stepping on a foot!!

    Im done! He walks off then yells back

    They better not touch my hellcat!!

    B Plan in Action

    He picks up an onsite job on a construction site

    Chances jobs starting to pay off savings is growing

    He studies homebuilding in the little free time he has

    He volunteers at Habitat to learn to build a house

    Meets the Detective

    Im Detective Wolski but Barry is good

    Chance is startled to be chatting up the police

    Detective eventually recognizes him as his brother

    Questions him on a few things

    Chance is startled to be chatting up the police

    They both share their disdain with their jobs

    They talk dreams and realize they are similar dreams

    They jokingly make a plan to leave the city and build on a lake

    They play a guessing game about their fav things and are amazed at similarities

    They admire each other

    Detective shows him his building manual

    Chance is spirit is lit on fire as he flips through it

    Detective says keep it ill grab another one

    Maybe you’ll learn enough to help me one day

    C Turning Point 2. (MIDPOINT)

    He gets fired for moonlighting the same day his night job gets stopped by the city inspector

    Act 3:

    A Rethink everything

    Chance becomes a crook

    Robbing, Stealing, Fencing, Scamming

    Savings skyrockets

    Detective Begins Investigating the crime spree

    Detective calls Judge Jones from streets

    Tells him Callahan’s Judge Karen Dreyfus is not clean for this case

    Says you might wanna look into it

    B New plan

    Chance learns about the Detective from TV news stories

    Tightens up his routine and the overall plan

    Judge Dryfus is forced to recuse herself

    Judge Jones calls Detective cell with a short cryptic message

    Thanks for the tip Detective she was definitely compromised friend of a friend’s rotten ass son

    Detective thanks him for listening

    Judge Jones rejects it having not done anything illegal

    Detective right the law, trust the law

    Judge Jones it works

    Yeah but sometimes it needs oil change and a jump start or it’ll leave your ass stranded or run your ass over

    Good day Detective

    C Turning Point 3: Huge failure / Major shift

    Detective gets an urgent text and rushes out the house

    Detective is watching Chance

    Sets him up good

    Chance is arrested on 20 counts

    Looking at 20-80 years in prison

    Chance is dejected as he paces in his small cell

    Does push up, sit ups between going crazy

    He runs in place

    Time goes by and he now has a thick raggedy beard staring at the ceiling

    Suddenly, he tears a few strips of his sheet

    Braids them together slowly

    Tests the strength of the long braid

    Then ties a noose and drops it on the bed

    He searches for a pencil then paper

    But only finds his building manual

    He whips to the dedication and finds a big blank spot on the page and rips it out

    When he does he reads the first page of the manual

    Its a motivational introduction that reads

    “Build Your Dream Home & Change Your Lifestyle in 90 days”

    Once again a fire is lit inside him

    He urgently turns over the blank page and draws a sketch of what he plans to build

    Then he reads voraciously

    Act 4:

    A Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict

    Detective visits Callahan in jail for a few unanswered questions

    They carry on like adversaries

    Detective Delivers Chances Fate

    Detective makes promise to do what he can to help

    Dad says don’t worry about me just Chance

    Before they part Detective reaches for dads hand

    Dad squeezes back and says, I know…you are sorry, I know not your fault son

    Dad says I’m sorry too

    By the time Detective says for what

    Dad shoves him away, calls him fuckin asshole and retreats calling on guards

    Dads trial begins up to All Rise…

    Judge Jones is announce and we see delight on Detective’s face

    Judge then continues the harsh treatment that Judge Dryfus started

    Dad calls Sergeant Antoni Mills (arresting officer) to the stand

    Dad gets him to prove him not guilty through an exercise in the courtroom

    Judge stops the hearing and rule it a mistrial

    Dad and Detective share a moment from a distance

    Then suddenly, dad walks across the room and hugs Detective and quickly part

    The Prosecuting Attorney reluctantly answers his cell phone and says Yes Sir, No, Sir, UH yes

    Detective leans back in an whispers something to Dad

    Dad face grows with excitement and he tears up as Detective pats him on the shoulders

    DA is cursing at his team over the phone then slams it shut

    Phone rings immediately

    His brother’s mother the ex DA pulls a favor and gets him out of jail around the same time as dad

    Mr Claiborne right?

    AG Claiborne, what can I do for you

    This. Is her name you might remember me from our early days working in the same building on main?

    Cant say I do, but what is your issue

    My issue is that you have a very serious problem heading your way

    And I need a favor

    So maybe its no problem for you if you can help

    Whoever this is I don’t have the time…

    Under the floor boards of the janitor’s closet right down the hall from you

    You will find a box of files

    The box will read :…

    Most of the files in the box with contain blank sheets of paper

    But one of the files will be of great interest and value to you and your family and your freedom

    When you find the box of files and walk down your dirty criminal memory lane

    You will have an uncontrollable urge to set it on fire.
    Feel free to do so…

    There are 2 more identical boxes in similar cleverly tucked away places

    Ill call you tomorrow with a small favor you will be overjoyed to take care of for me

    DA has the floor ripped up and sees a file box labeled “1 of 3 mf”

    DA tells his staffer to get me on the AG’s lunch schedule and I mean today, just tell him I’m treating

    B Resolution

    Dads lawsuits are dropped and his finances and home are safe again

    The 2 brothers are halfway done building their twin lake houses

    Funny Barry introduces his girlfriend/fiance to Chance

    Chance says please don’t tell me I have a sister too?

    Yes you do

    Chance yells for dad

    Carolina joins Chance and intros herself to

    Sister in law

    She says soon to be sister in law

    Chance oh shit congrats fam!!!

    Dad and Mom visit them and bring a check to help them finish

    Dad I sold the hellcat… not much but it’ll buy a shitload of lumber and nails and some shingles maybe

    Dad once the lawsuit is reversed I can help you more

    He turns to Barry and finishes his statement “Son”

    Then to Chance “Son”

    The two brothers simultaneously say the same thing “Dad, we’re good…”

    Then they laugh at themselves

    Chance we’re fuckin twins is what we are

    Barry except I’m older

    Chance you’re older?

    The family all join in on the banter

    Until they notice Mom walking over to Barri’s Mom

    Everyone gets nervous, worried

    Mom stops infant of her sitting regally in a wheelchair smoking a cigarette

    They stare at each other

    A long time goes by

    Then Mom reaches out and hugs her tightly

    Everyone exhales and smiles

    Mom whispers Thank you as her tears well up

    And I’m sorry for keeping them apart all this time

    Sylvia WE kept them apart and Im sorry too, but that’s over now…they’re together, happy and young

    Mom And we getting old AF

    Sylvia SMDH girl

    They both wipe their tears and sign

    Mom points to cigarrette

    Mom U got another one of them uhh…

    Barry’s Mom “Sylvia” hell, sit down lets smoke the whole pack

    Mom says as she sits next to her on a picnic bench

    Oh, i see you’re bad as me, Huh!

    Sylvia birds of a feather

    As the rest of the family joins them and Dad and Barry take away their cigarettes

    the view rises to reveal a majestic lakeside property with nothing but promise

  • Jonathan Parks

    Member
    March 23, 2021 at 2:37 pm in reply to: Post Your Lesson 4 Assignment Here

    Jon’s Character Interviews

    What I learned doing this assignment is… that Chance and Barry have very similar qualities and traits. That both characters humor will lighten the drama a bit. That the things they have in common may very well create a bond between them. That Barry may save Chance in the end. Also, the background stories are coming together and weaving through the various characters journeysk well. I can see the story much clearer now. Lastly this format has shown me how to control my brainstorming…little notes and save the details for the assignments.

    PROAGONIST INTERVIEW CHANCE ADAMS

    Tell me about yourself.

    I am not a bad person

    I love my kids more than anything

    I grew up in a happy family and I want that for my kids

    I love my fiancé and absolutely planned to pop the question before my dad’s situation

    I love pistaccios, but the shells I leave around pisses everyone off

    I love to cook and see people happy eating

    I have developed a temper recently with all that is going on

    I would have never thought id see myself transform in the way I have in such a short time

    Why do you think you were called to this journey? Why you?

    My kids, fiancé and mom need someone to be strong

    I was the only choice available

    Life is like that sometimes

    You are up against <the Antagonist>. What is it about them that makes this journey even more difficult for you?

    He seems very smart and cunning when I see him on tv

    He seems very capable of catching me

    I can feel him watching and following me, but I can’t see him doing it

    I feel I can’t avoid him with each day that passes

    Maybe I’m just paranoid knowing the bad things I’ve done

    I cannot afford to be caught…I cannot imagine what my kids would go through…look at how I ended up under the stress and pressure of my dads demise.

    In order to survive or accomplish this, you are going to have to step way outside of your box. What changes do you expect to make and which of them will be the most difficult?

    I have to amass as much cash as I can quickly and get out and disappear from his trail

    The truth is…I don’t see an out for me. Theres never enough money to get anywhere doing this…there’s always only enough to get by…then the cycle starts over

    When I look at my kids smile with a belly full of food and a roof over their head it makes me think of how my father was able to provide all of that legitimately…That makes me feel terrible

    With no degree and being a self taught mechanic, the most difficult change would be giving a regular job a shot. It would never provide what they are accustomed to

    It makes me realize just how successful my dad was and I want to be that too

    What habits or ways of thinking do you think will be the most difficult to let go of?

    Dropping those damned pistaccio shells!

    No…the quick and easy money would be the hardest to let go of. I really never had to work for things in life…just be good, go to school and try to achieve…that’s all dad and mom required

    What fears, insecurities and wounds have held you back?

    Fear of failing…again, because I feel I wasted a degree in criminology trying to follow and please my dad

    Being a bit spoiled left me insecure about being able to be successful in a job. I knew I always had my parents to fall back on…one of the reasons I still live in their house

    What skills, background or expertise makes you well-suited to face this conflict or antagonist?

    Im good at getting people to trust me before I drop the scam on them

    I can hot wire and steal any vehicle in 2 seconds…

    I can pose as a Good Samaritan with tools coming to your aid before jacking you for cash

    I also work with lots of metal parts so I am able to remove a serial number from a gun, build a custom silencer and customize just about anything…I’m fuckin brilliant at that shit

    I’m also pretty disciplined at planning my side jobs as a mechanic. You have to be able to change how you are building things when your original plan hits the brick wall

    If I do my part right…there will be no face to face with the antagonist

    I am pretty disciplined at planning my side jobs as a mechanic. You have to be able to change how you are building things when your original plan hits the brick wall

    What are you hiding from the other characters? What don’t you want them to know?

    I don’t want anyone to know that I’m grifting.

    It would break my mom’s heart

    End my relationship with my fiancé

    And just kill my dad

    I also don’t want them to know how weak I am

    What a loser I am

    How lazy I am doing the easy hustle instead of hunkering down on a job

    What do you think of <the Antagonist>?

    Just that he seems smart

    He seems friendly too…like someone id be friends with

    I think he’s crazy if he thinks I’m gonna let him catch me

    Tell me your side of this whole conflict / story.

    My dad followed the law all his like and taught us to do the same.

    Then the law turned on him

    It scared me and shook me to my core

    I swear I am suffering mentally from it right now

    But I’m not a doctor…I’m not anything really

    I was a good son, a so so father to my kids

    I really have never given my fiancé the reason to say yes if I did pop the question

    When I look at her I see mostly my fear of growing up and being responsible

    Its easier to play video games with my kids to escape spending time and opening up to her

    What does it do for your life is you succeed here?

    Probably hold off the inevitable of going to jail just a little longer

    Its not a win win

    I have to figure out a way to be successful and prosperous soon

    ANTAGONIST INTERVIEW BARRY JONES

    Tell me about yourself.

    I am pretty type A

    Something deep inside seems to alway rise up and kill my relationships

    Haven’t figured that out yet

    I am expert marksman

    I am like Clint Eastwood when it comes to confrontation and conflict

    I never have a lack of confidence or courage

    Sometimes I just want something to happen so that I can fight my way through my frustration

    My temper get the best of me sometimes

    Having to do with this journey, what are your strengths and weaknesses?

    I am a relentless professional

    I have lots of experience at detective work

    I have lots of solved cases under my belt

    I have people in high places when I need them

    I do not have the ability to give up or lose gracefully

    Why are you committed to making the Protagonist fail? Or for a relationship movie, why are you committed to making them change?

    I am consumed by justice

    I want everyone accountable

    The Protagonist winning would reflect badly on my career and reputation

    What do you get out of winning this fight / succeeding in your plan / taking down your competition?

    I feel better…safer…a since of accomplishment

    My neighbors will be ecstatic

    I get my dad back

    What drives you toward your mission / agenda, even in the face of danger, ruin, or death?

    I cannot fail my dad, my community

    It would tear at the fabric of who I am

    My dad is always happy to see me on tv doing the perp walk

    What secrets must you keep to succeed? What other secrets do you keep out of fear / insecurity?

    Nobody can know he’s my dad

    Until the time is right

    That id rather build a house than solve a crime

    Compared to other people like you, what makes you special?

    Nothing that I know of

    What do you think of <the Protagonist>?

    He is damned cunning and careful

    We both like pistachios

    He’s a damn fool if he thinks he’ll be free much longer

    Tell me your side of this whole conflict / story.

    I am the illegitimate child of my dad and my mom’s secret relationship

    My dads wife does not allow hime to see me or accept me

    My mom was a powerful DA when they had the affair

    I know of my brother but don’t know him

    He doesn’t know me… yet

    I am trying behind the scenes of an investigation to help my dad

    I am trying to be there for him in prison as well

    I believe he is technically guilty

    But also not guilty in terms of his intent during the home invasion

    Dad got caught up in the momen

    I keep telling him LAWYER UP AND SHUT UP

    Of course the brilliant one won’t listen

    What does it do for your life is you succeed here?

    I would be reunited with my dad/brother

    My neighborhood would be safe

    My reputation would be in tact

    Id be on a new road to a more rewarding life as a builder

  • Jonathan Parks

    Member
    March 21, 2021 at 7:42 pm in reply to: Post Your Lesson 3 Assignment Here

    Jon’s Character Profile Part 2

    What I learned doing this assignment is…that I do not need to have all the answers and detail about characters at this point, I just need to explore their characteristics. That all the traits, values and flaws and all will show up in the characters actions and dialogue.

    What draws us to this character? A once innocent kid without a worry in the world is suddenly thrust into the jaws of a lion (the real world). He now has to do what he’s never had to before…Survive.

    Pick the type of role your Protagonist will play and give us a few sentences on how they will fulfill that role.

    PROTAGONIST:

    Runner

    Dreamer

    Pick the type of role your Antagonist will play and give us a few sentences on how they will fulfill that role.

    ANTAGONIST:

    Authority

    What other characters might be necessary?

    OTHER CHARACTERS:

    Supporting characters: Dad, Mom, Fiance, 2 kids, Adoptive Dad, Adoptive Brother

    Minor roles: Not sure

    Background characters: Not sure

    Pick your genre.

    Hero

    Action

    Drama

    Fill in whatever answers come to you about your lead character profiles.

    Role in the story: individual lost in traumatic circumstance

    Age range and Description: 20 or 30 something, physically fit…very handsome and attractive

    Internal Journey: From feeling vulnerable financially and emotionally to feeling secure in those ways in the end

    External Journey: From being a two bit hustler to becoming a homeowner and business owner

    Motivation: Recovering from his dad’s financial demise

    Wound: Seeing his dad fail, thinking he too will fail

    Mission/Agenda: Not to fail himself, children, mother, fiancé and FATHER

    Secret: He hides his criminal activities from his family

    What makes them special? His extreme love for his kids and family

    Traits: Brilliant, vulnerable, intense, risk taker, charming, funny, self deprecating

    Subtext: He hides his fear of succeeding by leaning into his criminality

    Flaw: He lies, his disbelief in a good future, his bad temper,

    Values: Loyalty, blind courage, strong belief in family, has a new found ambition

    Irony: He has no real experience at surviving, He has to hurt others to keep his kids from hurting, All the years of watching his dad follow the law and then to see the law break his dad.

    What makes this the right character for this role? His abject lack of experience and responsibility. He can get out of his own way and that creates conflict

  • Jonathan Parks

    Member
    March 20, 2021 at 4:13 pm in reply to: Post Your Lesson 2 Assignment Here

    Jon’s Character Profiles Part 1

    Pick the type of role your Protagonist will play and give us a few sentences on how they will fulfill that role.

    PROTAGONIST:

    Runner
    Dreamer

    Pick the type of role your Antagonist will play and give us a few sentences on how they will fulfill that role.

    ANTAGONIST:

    Authority

    What other characters might be necessary?

    OTHER CHARACTERS:

    Supporting characters: Dad, Mom, Fiance, 2 kids, Adoptive Dad, Adoptive Brother
    Minor roles: Not sure
    Background characters: Not sure

    Pick your genre.

    Hero
    Action
    Drama

    Fill in whatever answers come to you about your lead character profiles.

    Role in the story: individual lost in traumatic circumstance
    Age range and Description: 20 or 30 something, physically fit…very handsome and attractive
    Internal Journey: Feeling terrible about his criminal ways to feeling great about achieving things legally.
    External Journey: From being a two bit hustler to becoming a homeowner and business owner
    Motivation: Recovering from his dad’s financial demise
    Wound: Seeing his dad fail, thinking he too will fail
    Mission/Agenda: Not to fail himself, children, mother, fiancé and FATHER
    Secret: He realizes how smart he really is and how capable he is to overcome his doldrums
    What makes them special? Surprisingly he has a breaking point when it comes to criminality.

    Answer the question “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” and put it at the top of your work.

    I’ve learned that I have been missing this kind of process, curriculum and forum that obviously makes for a successful writing process!

  • Jonathan Parks

    Member
    March 19, 2021 at 1:12 am in reply to: Post Your Lesson 2 Assignment Here

    Jon’s Character Profiles Part 1

    Pick the type of role your Protagonist will play and give us a few sentences on how they will fulfill that role.

    PROTAGONIST:

    Runner
    Dreamer

    Pick the type of role your Antagonist will play and give us a few sentences on how they will fulfill that role.

    ANTAGONIST:

    Authority

    What other characters might be necessary?

    OTHER CHARACTERS:

    Supporting characters: Dad, Mom, Fiance, 2 kids, Adoptive Dad, Adoptive Brother
    Minor roles: Not sure
    Background characters: Not sure

    Pick your genre.

    Hero
    Action
    Drama

    Fill in whatever answers come to you about your lead character profiles.

    Role in the story: individual lost in traumatic circumstance
    Age range and Description: 20 or 30 something, physically fit…very handsome and attractive
    Internal Journey: Feeling terrible about his criminal ways to feeling great about achieving things legally.
    External Journey: From being a two bit hustler to becoming a homeowner and business owner
    Motivation: Recovering from his dad’s financial demise
    Wound: Seeing his dad fail, thinking he too will fail
    Mission/Agenda: Not to fail himself, children, mother, fiancé and FATHER
    Secret: He realizes how smart he really is and how capable he is to overcome his doldrums
    What makes them special? Surprisingly he has a breaking point when it comes to criminality.

    Answer the question “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” and put it at the top of your work.

    I’ve learned that I have been missing this kind of process, curriculum and forum that obviously makes for a successful writing process!

  • Jonathan Parks

    Member
    March 18, 2021 at 9:00 pm in reply to: Post Your Day 1 Assignment Here

    Jon’s Transitional Journey

    What I learned doing this assignment is that I love screenwriting. It is something that even this first assignment reconfirms that I am a good writer who needs more tools and the sharpening of his craft. I learned that a good character arc is the reason that I watch Man On Fire over and over. People love to be taken on a journey. They WANT to like the main character and his ARC. That filling in the middle between the beginning and end of the transformational journey is just the How and What and that makes writing easier.I learned that knowing my own transformational journey and that of others will help me be more success full at writing my own screenplay. I was surprised to learn that an analogy like dieting and weight lose is so very like any character’s journey. If I use the tools presented, I will write faster and more effectively.

    \Who is my Hero:

    My hero’s name is Chance (short for Chancellor). He was named by his father, who was a lawyer, before he was convicted of murder for killing the intruder during a home invasion – and not retreating as the law requires. Chance went to great schools, never wanted for anything and had immense promise up to that traumatic day in this life. With two toddlers of his own and overwhelming bills related to civil lawsuits and the now failed practice, Chance struggles to get by financially, on top of struggling emotionally. In this new state of being, he doesn’t make good decisions. He turns to the streets to make money and the streets are meaner than he could imagine. But, he has to do what he has to do. As a result of all of this madness, his mother loses her grip on reality and his fiancé decides she can’t handle who he has become.

    Transformation:

    Chance puts his sad criminal behavior behind him and builds a happy and prosperous life using his brain.

    Internal Journey:

    Feeling terrible about his criminal ways to feeling great about achieving things legally.

    External Journey:

    From being a two bit hustler to becoming a homeowner and business owner

    Old Ways:

    Not giving a shit about people, being what his dad loathes, having nothing, being full of rage and confusion,.

    New Ways:

    genuinely caring about people, being just what his dad would have wanted, owning a home and a business just like his dad, conquering his rage and learning where it came from.

  • Jonathan Parks

    Member
    March 18, 2021 at 8:53 pm in reply to: Introduce Yourself To the Group

    I’m Jon Parks. I’ve written several scripts. Wanna wrangle the basics once again and increase writing speed. Something unusual about me?… I was hit by a car at age 8 and I was a producer and editor for 2 U.S. Presidential candidates in a single year.

    Ok, one of them actually won.

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