[jon brown]

Title: The Time Tourist
Genre: Science Fiction/Time Travel
Concept: A journalist covering the opening of a new resort learns that it won’t be built for 200 years, and she will be the first guest.

[jon brown]

Jon’s Dramatic Reveals

1. Make a list of the important reveals that you want the audience to experience.

Who the aliens are
Where the aliens came from

Why the aliens are here

2. Sequence them to fit into your Thriller Map.

3. With each reveal, make sure the following are in place:

A. What is the reveal? aliens are human from the future
B. How did it get covered up? humanity is meeting them for the first time
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? They want a rookie journalist to do their first interview but why? She might be a rookie but she will solve the mystery
D. When you reveal the truth, it must have dramatic impact.
When the aliens abduct Eve they reveal why. They need her DNA to reverse humanities future extinction

* The question is how do we reveal this information in the most dramatic way? Aboard the alien saucer in the ship’s planetarium?

[jon brown]

Subject Line: Jon’s Life Threatening Sequence

Create your Life Threatening Sequence.

1) What is the Villain’s plan and how does that put the Hero in danger?

The aliens are here to extract Eve’s DNA to reverse the effects of a bio-weapon that have prevented them from procreating.

2) What other potential dangers could your Hero experience as they try to solve the mystery and confront the Villain?

The government in an attempt to silence Eve have kidnapped her. AKA US rendition.

She escapes into the air duct and discovers the government official behind her capture conversing with the aliens.

The aliens are requesting the government return a technology that was left after an alien saucer crash-landed in 1947 Roswell.

The government official asks about Eve’s grandmother. The aliens will need her again if they don’t get that device. Eve freaks out that her mother could be at risk and follows the alien. As the alien is about to transport back to the saucer Eve assults it and causes her to be transported along with the alien back to the ship.

Now she is trapped aboard the alien saucer with no ability to escape.

3) From the list of potential dangers, choose the ones that work for this story.
(these dangers apply)
Closeness to the villain
Trapped / Abducted / Arrested
Danger to someone they know
The unknown
Physical danger (does DNA extraction hurt)
Loss of a job or career (she already lost her job)

4) Sequence those dangers in order and make a list like the one I did for Basic Instinct above.
Aliens attack her and photographer driving on a deserted highway
They request her presence for an interview
She goes aboard their Saucer but is that safe?
She refuses to mind her government minders when she discovers the truth
Her rebellious nature makes her a threat to national security
The government rendition of Eve puts her life at risk
She discovers the aliens are in cahoots with the government (who can she trust)
She attacks the alien. What consequences will she face from them?
She is transported to their saucer?
How will she escape the ship and get home and rescue her grandmother?

[jon brown]

Jon’s Mystery Sequence

Title: Alien Correspondent

Logline: A rookie reporter gets to conduct the first interview with extraterrestrials but what do they want and why are they on Earth. What she learns disturbers her because she is the only one who can save humanity from extinction.

1 – What is the big secret that the Villain is covering up?

Why are the aliens here and what do they want?

Go to the end of the story and identify the big secret.
The big secret often points to other secrets that need to be covered.

2. How many ways can they cover that secret? Those become the mysteries.

They are here to help humanity.

They want to share advanced technology to prevent the next pandemic. This is half true. They know that if they prevent the big extinction event in the future they won’t exist.

Eve discovers

they are half-human
They are from the future (but why are they here now at this time)
They can’t procreate and they need an uninfected human
The original weapon is based on the gnome of Eve’s great-granddaughter so they need her DNA to reverse engineer the sequence

Make a list of your main mysteries (cover-ups) that must be solved to discover the final secret.

3. The first mystery must engage the Hero into solving it.

Do Aliens Exist?

What is the mystery that the Hero absolutely must solve that lures him or her into the other mysteries?

4. Sequence the mysteries so that each one leads us to the next one.

1 – Do aliens exist?

2 – Why are the aliens here and what do they want?

3 – Who are the aliens?

4 – Why do they need Eve’s DNA?

If you layout the three or four main mysteries, they will imply a sequence.

5. Create a Mystery Chain for each main mystery.

What series of “mysterious” events make up each main mystery?
How do those events cover the secret of the Villain?

1 – Do Aliens exist

reporter witnesses UFO
– UFO attacks their car on a deserted highway
Photographer captures pictures
Helicopter rescues them
Who was in the helicopter (someone else knows)

2 – Aliens make first contact

Newspaper prints photo after Eve is fired
Military whistleblower leaks matching evidence
Government official admits to legitimacy
Will the aliens stay hidden?

3 – Why are aliens here?

Aliens want to do an interview with Eve

They offer to help advance science to prevent the next pandemic?

They really want Eve’s DNA

4 – Who are the aliens?

During the interview, Eve steals alien technology

They run tests and determine that the DNA is human/alien hybrid

Carbon dating it’s from the future 200 years from now

5 – Why are the aliens here?

To get Eve’s DNA

Eve gets kidnapped by the aliens

She confronts them and they tell her the truth
She agrees to help

6 – Why do they need the DNA?

To correct the fallout from a bioweapon that was released on Earth in the future.

What is the red herring?

Government kidnaps Eve first.

[jon brown]

Jon’s Villain Has a Great Plan!

1)What is the end goal?

To collect DNA from Eve

2)How can the Villain accomplish that in a devious way?

They request an interview to get her aboard the ship but they don’t have an opportunity.

3)How can they cover it up?

Eventually, aliens kidnap her to collect her DNA. The coverup is that they use technology so there are no signs of abduction.

4)Sequence it to make it as intriguing as possible.

Request Eve.

Refuse her replacement.

Try to convince her to try technology during the interview

Kidnap her Grandmother in an attempt to lure her in

Kidnap her.

She grabs their DNA instead and technology

Foils the DNA extraction (they must return)

they admit to being half-human from the future and she agrees to help.

[jon brown]

Subject: Jon’s Big MIS

Title: Alien Correspondent

Logline: A young novice reporter scores the biggest interview of her career after Earth makes first-contact with aliens. The aliens insist that she performs the interview but she must find out why the aliens are here and what they want. She finds out that she has to save humanity from extinction.

Conventions

Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: A young journalist who has just lost her job for having too much virtue is offered the gig that all her piers wish they could have.
Dangerous Villain: Gray aliens who have just arrived on Earth. No one knows why they are here or where they come from. Or worse what do they want?
High stakes: After the interviewing reporter finds out she is the only one who can save humanity from extinction
Life and death situations: Are the aliens here to prevent or cause extinction
This story is thrilling because: Our rookie novice young reporter has to take on powerful aliens who have advanced technology and powers that we don’t know but are great enough for them to travel to Earth.

Big M.I.S. of story

1) Big Mystery – Why are the aliens here?

2) Big Intrigue – Why do the aliens want an inexperienced rookie reporter to be the ones who make first contact?

3) Big Suspense – Can she figure out why the aliens are here before it’s too late? Can a rookie reporter beat powerful aliens?

[jon brown]

Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

Conventions

<b data-pm-slice=”1 1 ["ul",{"style":null,"backgroundColor":null,"color":null,"lineHeight":null,"listStyleType":null},"li",{"style":null,"checked":null,"value":null,"displayValue":null,"backgroundColor":null,"color":null,"listStyleType":null}]” data-en-clipboard=”true”>1) Unwitting but Resourceful Hero:

We have a great investigative reporter who is broken after recently being framed by a rich billionaire. After a lifetime of great detective work, he made one mistake and it has cost him greatly. He is forced into the journey when the court case has nearly bankrupt him and he has no choice but to take the gig.

2) Dangerous Villain:

Who makes a great villain? Someone powerful with lots of money, from a family of generations of power and manipulation. Money power and corruption.

<b data-pm-slice=”1 1 ["ul",{"style":null,"backgroundColor":null,"color":null,"lineHeight":null,"listStyleType":null},"li",{"style":null,"checked":null,"value":null,"displayValue":null,"backgroundColor":null,"color":null,"listStyleType":null}]” data-en-clipboard=”true”>3) High Stakes:

A detective who never loses but is coming off his first failure and has had his reputation damaged. He must prove himself all over again or his career as an investigative journalist will be over.

<b data-pm-slice=”1 1 ["ul",{"style":null,"backgroundColor":null,"color":null,"lineHeight":null,"listStyleType":null},"li",{"style":null,"checked":null,"value":null,"displayValue":null,"backgroundColor":null,"color":null,"listStyleType":null}]” data-en-clipboard=”true”>4) Life and Death Situation:

He takes the gig and must stay on the deserted family island to be close enough to the family to investigate. Then a rogue bullet almost hits him but was it an accident or does someone want him dead. Is he a threat to uncover the murder? Or are there other more serious things at risk. Who wants him dead? In the end, he will come face to face with the killer and come close to death himself.

<b data-pm-slice=”1 1 ["ul",{"style":null,"backgroundColor":null,"color":null,"lineHeight":null,"listStyleType":null},"li",{"style":null,"checked":null,"value":null,"displayValue":null,"backgroundColor":null,"color":null,"listStyleType":null}]” data-en-clipboard=”true”>5) The movie is thrilling because?

It’s a classic story of good vs evil. The rich and powerful versus the weak and broken who must overcome.

MIS:

1) Big Mystery

Who killed the niece a generation ago.

2) Big Intrigue

Can an investigative journalist defeat a rich billionaire family and solve the murder that no one has been able to solve for a generation. The patriarch wants closure and he’s running out of time. A journalist with the assistance of a young bisexual mentally disturbed computer hacker can beat the family.

3) Big Suspense

Is the mystery what is seems and is she really dead? If she was killed why did no one ever find her body? Will this rich powerful family allow the mystery to be solved and why are they hiding from the truth?