Joseph R. Basci
Forum Replies Created
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Hi, I’m Joseph R. Basci, call me Ron.
I’ve written and produced several scripts, including: three unproduced screenplays; a documentary short – aired nationwide; a dramatic short -“The First Responder”, currently competing its festival run with two best drama awards; two comedy shorts episodes of “Freddy”, as part of a series in development.
As one who approaches topics from an out-of-the-box perspective, my goal here is to develop a better understanding of conventional comedy structures.
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Ron Basci Favorite Comedy!
Main area of incongruence: Two completely different personalities on a date.
Straight laced, conventional BILLY, 31, is a guy who, no matter what the social situation, would rather be anywhere else. Will he ever get out of his own way long enough to have a serious shot at succeeding?
Quirky JENNY, 28, is ethereal, a child of the moon. She’s a yoga instructor with another talent.
BOB, 33, Billy’s married best buddy.
COUNTERMAN, 40’s, malnourished, tee shirt w/ rolled up sleeves, anchor tattoo on bicep.
Scene:
BILLY runs into BOB who is munching a bag of chips. Billy is in new jeans, polo shirt, and dress shoes. Bob quickly looks him over.
Bob: Let’s get a beer, you’re stressed.
Billy: So what’s new?
He grabs the bag from Bob, pops some into his mouth.
Bob: You aughtta take a night off. Grab a date, have some fun.
Billy: Yeah, sure. I’m not into grabbing.
Billy: You’re pissing your life away, bro, find somebody…Hey, my yoga teacher’s single,
and she’s smokin’ hot! I’ll set you up.
Billy: If she’s that hot, why don’t you date her?
Bob: (raises his hand showing wedding ring.) Remember Sally?
Billy: Look, I don’t need you for a date.
Bob: You won’t be dating me.
Billy: No shit, you’re not my type.
Bob: Now that we have that straight, I’m setting you two up.
Billy: Damnit! I told you I can make my own mistakes, so bug off!
Billy waves a backhand towards Bob to signify discussion is closed.
Bob: (Quick look for non existent bug on shoulder) What?
Ignoring Billy’s request, Bob pulls his phone out. Billy angrily slaps at it with his chips bag hand, spraining his wrist. Contents fly. He turns away bent in pain with eyes shut tight grasping his damaged limb.
Billy: Owwww! Forget the beer, I’ll never lift a bottle again.
Bob (ignoring, opens his cell phone) Hey, drama boy, open your eyes, I have her picture, take a look!
Billy: No! Knock it off, will ya, I’m hurting here!
Bob: C’mon.
Bob tries to hold it near Billy’s face as Billy squirms. When he finally opens his eyes…they bug out. The pain is suddenly gone, Billy straightens up, can’t take his eyes off image.
Billy: Holy Lollobrigida, is she for real? Forgive me, Raquel.
Bob: You betcha.
Billy: And you’d set me up with HER?
Bob: I’m taking that as a yes.
Billy: Call her, already, what the hell are you waiting for? Do it!
Bob: Sure, you never know. Sometimes the pick of the litter will fall for the runt.
Next Day. Billy arrives early at the seaside park Ferris wheel, takes a look around for Jenny, shrugs and heads to nearby concession stand. He wears a sport coat, open collar shirt, slacks, casual shoes and a bandaged hand. En route, an excited kid carelessly running bumps him dripping ice cream onto his shirt. Silent, but with a chagrined look at parent he meticulously wipes it with his handkerchief, replaces it in a pocket, then closes jacket button to hide the stain. Reaching the counter he perches on a wobbly stool, the only available one, almost slipping off. Orders a Heineken and fries. Bottle is handed to Billy. As he loads plate by scraping fries off discarded dishes the Counterman notices some are grayish, turns to Billy while lifting a catsup bottle. Billy nods, yes. The spuds are drowned, removing all evidence. Billy eats and has several more beers while waiting. He is soon two sheets to the wind.
Jenny: A physically fit beauty, is wearing a white sunhat over pageboy styled blue hair with yellow streaks, a green sweatshirt with gold lettering: “Flowers are People too”, a pair of orange short shorts over black waist high leggings, white sneakers, no bag or purse.
Jenny eventually arrives at the Ferris wheel, looks around. She spots Billy’s upraised beckoning arm and approaches. Empty beer bottles denote time passage.
Jenny: Hi, Billy?
As Billy rises to greet her, the wobbly stool and excessive beer causes him to lose his balance. Slamming his bandaged hand on the counter to keep from falling, Billy winces and tries to stifle his pain. The glancing blow to his plate of fries sends them sailing into a grizzled nosher’s plate, one landing in his beer glass. Reaction as nosher slowly plucks a soggy fry from his glass flicking same at Billy, hitting his jacket then sliding down. Billy is oblivious to this action behind him. Customer then flicks again with a second fry, same result. Counterman wipes counter with a dirty rag giving a “well done” nod to customer. Simultaneously:
Billy: Hi, Jenny how the hell are you? What would you like?
She sits at Billy’s now available other side.
Jenny: Sorry I’m so late. What are you having?
Billy: A Heinie
Jennie: I just love Heinies.
Billy motions to Counterman for two beers. She is silently staring at his head.
Noticing, Billy nervously smooths his hair.
Billy: Is something wrong?
Jenny: Interesting.
Billy: My hair?
Jenny: No, your hair’s adequate, I’m absorbing your aura.
Billy: My aura? You mean I have a rainbow?
Jenny: I’m very sensitive. I can see them. They tell me what people are like.
Billy: Oooh K, so what are you seeing?
Jenny: Really interesting.
Billy: What, why? Tell me.
Jenny: I’ve never seen one like yours before.
Billy: Does that make me special?
Jenny: (breaks her stare) It really does. Yours is slate gray, like those clams over there. Like a pet rock.
Billy: Never had one. I had a guppie once.
Jenny: Rocks are people, too, so are guppies.
Billy is trying hard to stay in the moment.
Billy: Of course. Bob tells me you’re a yoga instructor.
Jenny: I’m very aware of different energies, and yours is so…so excitingly unique. You should work out more.
Billy: Will you show me the Downward Dog?
Jenny: (smiling) Nope, I get paid to teach.
Billy: (becoming desperate) I see you like plants. I had a spider plant once.
Jenny: They’re my favorites!
Billy: I think it drowned.
Jenny: How terribly sad. Bob said you wanted to be an actor. What happened?
Billy: Reality.
Jenny (laughing): You’re a dull guy, but funny…like Bob Newhart.
Billy: Who? (finally becoming a bit at ease) You think so?
Jenny: Totally, I would even pay to see you in a movie. Yes!, a porno!
Billy: But, I’d have to take my clothes off…And with my pasty white heinie, nah.
Feeling a rising tide in his gut, Billy suddenly spews flotsam and fries, a fair portion of which
splatter on Jenny’s sneakers, ankles and leggings. She calmly studies the result.
Billy: (rising awkwardly, grabbing for napkins as stool falls away) God, I’m so sorry…
Jenny: (looks up with a gigantic grin) What fabulous colors, your aura lies! This moment will mark the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Embarrassed, Billy’s pants darken as his previous beers are also finding a way out.
Jenny notices: It’s Kismet! Yes! Take me now!
Billy (confused and inebriated, looking at his pants): Huh? (slowly looks up) Where’s Kismet?
Jenny: In my arms, Einstein.
Billy (staring): I love you.
A wet dish rag flies smacking Billy’s face.
Counterman (OS): Clean up your mess, pal.
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Ron Basci Physical and Prop Humor Lesson 9
What I learned from this exercise: In the tradition of legendary comedians like Buster Keaton, WC Fields, Laurel and Hardy and every vaudevillian who ever worked the stage, physical and prop humor can make good dialogue great, poor dialogue almost unnoticeable and absence of dialogue hilarious.
Comic Situation Outline:
Billy resists blind date, gives in.
Arrives on time at seaside amusement park Ferris wheel.
She’s not there. Wanders to beverage stand. Sits, has a beer.
Orders fries, another beer and another.
45 minutes later, Jenny arrives.
Their greetings, her clothing.
Billy trying to keep it together. Conversation about auras, jobs.
Billy loses control, spews his abdominal contents splattering her sneakers.
She studies the result, is genuinely impressed by his “creativity” and declares that this is a sure sign that they are made for each other.
Nonplussed by his action and her response, he replies.
Main area of incongruence: Two completely different personalities on a date.
Additional actions, props:
Billy’s reaction to the date suggestion: They are standing on sidewalk. He is in jeans and tee shirt. At his angry outburst he smacks a nearby tree. It hurts, a lot. Clutching it, he is not paying much attention to Bob until he sees the picture.
Billy arrives at seaside park: He wears a sport coat, open collar shirt, slacks, casual shoes and a bandaged hand. Near Ferris wheel an excited kid drops ice cream onto his shoe. Silent, but with a chagrined look at parent he meticulously wipes it with his handkerchief, then throwing same in trash.
At the concession counter he sits on a wobbly stool, almost slipping off. Orders a Heineken and fries. Counterman notices some fries are gray colored so before serving asks if Billy wants them served with catsup. Affirmative response the spuds are drowned, removing all evidence. Billy eats and has two more beers.
Jenny arrives: Pageboy styled blue hair, a green sweatshirt with gold lettering: “Animals are people too”, a pair of orange shorts over black waist high leggings, white sneakers, no bag or purse. She sees his upraised beckoning arm and approaches. As Billy rises to greet her (conversation begins) the wobbly stool and excessive beer causes him to lose his balance. Slamming his good hand on the counter to keep from falling, a glancing blow to the fries sends them sailing to other customer’s plate, with one landing in his beer. Reaction as customer slowly plucks soggy fry and flicks same at Billy, who is oblivious. Jenny sits on Billy’s other side, asking what he’s drinking. (Heine) and wants one, too.
Conversation: She reads auras and is intrigued his is gray like the clams on another’s dish. Anxious and inebriated, Billy does his best to participate.
Jenny: You should be an actor. You’d be funny in a porno.
Billy: I’d have to take my clothes off. Besides, my pasty white heinie would never work.
Jenny: Just get more sun.
Billy suddenly spews flotsam and fries, a fair portion of which land on Jenny’s sneakers. She studies the result.
Billy: (rising awkwardly as stool falls away) God, I’m so sorry…
Jenny: (looks up smiling) Fabulous colors! This marks the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Embarrassed, Billy’s pants darken as his previous beers have also found a way out.
Jenny notices: It’s Kismet! Yes! Take me now!
Billy (confused looking at his pants): Huh? (slowly looks up) Where’s Kismet?
Jenny: In my arms, Einstein.
Billy (staring): I love you.
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Ron Basci Topper Outline! Session 8
What I learned is that changing direction, and reordering set ups and possible responses steer the writing to improved results.
The Funny Moments and Outline are from the previous lesson.
Funny Moments:
Billy’s reaction to possible date
Location: Amusement Park, evening
Separate arrivals: Billy arrives first
Waiting for Jenny
First Looks
Conversation
Misunderstanding
Wildly Inappropriate Response(s)
Outline:
Billy resists blind date, gives in.
Arrives on time at amusement park ferris wheel.
She’s not there. Wanders to beverage stand. Sits, has a beer.
Orders fries, another beer and another.
45 minutes later, Jenny arrives.
Their greetings, her clothing.
Billy trying to keep it together. Conversation about auras, jobs.
Billy loses control, spews his abdominal contents splattering her sneakers.
She studies the result, is genuinely impressed by his “creativity” and declares that this is a sure sign that they are made for each other.
Nonplussed by his action and her response, he replies: “So, yoga, huh?”
Additional For Assignment 8
Funny Moments
Billy’s responses to blind date suggestion: (will attempt to use all.) Disbelief, dismissal, annoyance, anger, violence, acceptance, eagerness, wariness, fear.
Date Location: Bob’s apartment, religious service, outdoor rock concert, grocery store, subway station, police station, amusement park.
Arrivals: Simultaneous, cancellation, force majeure prevents, Jenny no show, Jenny first, Billy no show, both no show, there but miss each other, Billy first.
Conversation with Jenny includes misunderstandings, wildly inappropriate responses: Bob, jobs, yoga, guppies, porno, pet rocks, Einstein, auras, beer, Kismet.
I have chosen two funny moments for this exercise: the final lines of Bob and Billy’s conversation, and that of Billy and Jenny.
Bob and Billy’s conversation:
Funny lines: Call her, Now!, Gimme that phone!, Is she for real? What are you waiting for?! Cleopatra lives! Ahummina hummina!, Great Googamooga!, I stand corrected.
Toppers: Her morals are high but her dating standards…you’ll do. , You never know, pick of the litter could fall for a runt like you. Is that a yes?
Scene:
While sharing a bag of cookies, Bob tries to persuade a very reluctant Billy to relax a little, go out on a date.
Billy: If I ever go out, I’ll get my own date, so bug off!
Bob: (opens his cell phone shows Billy a photo with Jenny) Hey, open your eyes, look!
Billy: Great Googamooga, Cleopatra lives!
Bob: Is that a yes?
Billy: Call her, Please!
Bob: Sure, sometimes pick of the litter will fall for the runt.
Billy and Jenny’s conversation:
A very intoxicated Billy has struggled through to this point.
Jenny: You’d be great in a porno.
Billy: I’d have to take my clothes off. Besides, my pasty white heinie would never work.
Jenny: Thanks a lot for that picture.
Billy suddenly spews flotsam and fries, a fair portion of which land on Jenny’s sneakers. She studies the result.
Billy: God, I’m so sorry…
Jenny: (looks up smiling) Fabulous colors! This marks the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Billy’s pants darken as his previous beers have also found a way out.
Jenny notices: It’s Kismet! Take me now!
Billy (confused looking at his pants): Huh? Where’s Kismet?
Jenny: In my arms, Einstein.
Billy: I love you.
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Ron Basci Comedy Brainstorm Session!
What I learned from this session: The more you explore, the better your result.
Comedy situations: Embarrassment, Wildly Inappropriate Response(s)
Characters and their log lines:
Billy, 31, is the kind of person who, no matter what the social situation, would rather be anywhere else. He rarely dates as he wants to become “financially secure” before committing to a partner. Will he ever get out of his own way long enough to have a serious shot at succeeding? He is practical, honest, frugal, awkward, shy, exasperating, a romantic at heart.
Jenny, 28, is ethereal, a child of the moon. A yoga instructor, there is no new age trend she hasn’t explored. While Jenny is adamant about being productive at all times, the truth is rather the opposite. Jenny is: Quirky, narcissistic, fun, faddist, athletic, outlandish.
Bob, 33, Billy’s best buddy.
Possible funny moments:
Billy’s reaction to possible date
Location: Amusement Park, evening
Separate arrivals: Billy arrives first
Waiting for Jenny
First Looks
Conversation
Misunderstanding
Wildly Inappropriate Response(s)
Outline:
Billy resists blind date, gives in.
Arrives on time at amusement park ferris wheel.
She’s not there. Wanders to beverage stand. Sits, has a beer.
Orders fries, another beer and another.
45 minutes later, Jenny arrives.
Their greetings, her clothing.
Billy trying to keep it together. Conversation about auras, jobs.
Billy loses control, spews his abdominal contents splattering her sneakers.
She studies the result, is genuinely impressed by his “creativity” and declares that this is a sure sign that they are made for each other.
Nonplussed by his action and her response, he replies: “So, yoga, huh?”
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Ron Basci Punchlines
What I learned from this assignment is that by utilizing the comedy figures of speech before finalizing a punchline, the result will have a strong foundation. The first response may be discarded for another or ultimately kept, but there will be competition.
INGRID is an opinionated, obnoxious, resentful, divorced 40ish person with one sweet spot, just one.
SARA, 32, gentle demeanor, grounded, friendly, is happily married with a child in elementary school.
They meet at a dog run. Numerous dogs are playing.
Sara
Which one’s yours? It’s my first time here.
Ingrid
That gorgeous pitbull, Angel. Isn’t she adorable?
Sara
She’s very cute. Mine’s the mutt. I call him Sicily cause he’s got a little bit of everything in him.
Ingrid
What do you mean? Never mind.
Dogs romping together, Sicily approaches Angel.
Sara
Oh look, they’ve met. How friendly they are.
Ingrid
See that? She’s so clever. Look! Angel loves to tease her friends. She pretends she’s going to bite, gives a quick nip, and then jumps back to play.
Sara
That’s pretty weird.
Ingrid
What’s weird about it? She doesn’t really bite.
Angel pulls her act, Sicily doesn’t get it and snaps a quick warning at her. They continue playing.
Ingrid
Hey, watch your dog.
Sara
Don’t worry. He wouldn’t hurt a fly.
Ingrid
How are you so sure, he’s an animal.
Sara
Because I adopted him at six weeks and trained him the right way. Has Angel ever had a problem with “her act”?
Ingrid
No, only about twice over three years.
Sara
Does she perform her “trick” on people too?
Ingrid (delighted)
Yes! Everyone, she’s just so precious.
Angel again pulls her stunt, Sicily again snaps his warning, wagging his tail.
Ingrid
Hey, your animal is scaring Angel again, she doesn’t like that.
Sara
He doesn’t bite. Animals or people.
Ingrid
You just better be sure your dirty mutt doesn’t try anything you’ll be sorry for. Understand?
Sara
Well, I can see there’s more than one bitch in your family.
Absurd request: Bite me.
Comparison: You’re talking about Sicily, not Cujo.
Exaggeration: I understand your negativity level equals the population of Cleveland.
Metaphor: You’ll have nothing to worry about, Sicily only likes the bitches of his own kind.
Misinterpretation: I’ll be sure to give him a bath before we come here again.
Parody: Your wish is my command, Master.
Rename: Si, diablo.
Reversal: I’m trying to. But how do I teach Angel good manners?
Understatement: I do, and I’ll let Sicily know that he should tell his friends and their parents about Angel’s unique play habits.
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Ron Basci Character’s intro Lesson 5
What I learned: When creating a character, the more his various aspects are developed, the more opportunity there is for creating comic situations.
CHRIS is a confident actor, talented but seldom working. He takes on odd jobs to pay the rent. Chris approaches each opportunity confidently, fully expecting a successful result.
After placing ads offering his services as a handyman, Chris has obtained a client.
Haughty Woman
Can I help you?
Chris
Hi, I’m Chris, you emailed me about hanging your painting.
Woman
Oh yes, come in.
Freddy enters a very large elaborate NYC apartment. Woman leads him into the living room to a huge (6’ x 4’) eye sore of a painting.
Woman
I trust you have done this before. This piece
has been in my family for generations. It is an
original by Lord Freemantle Mountchessington
the second.
Chris
(voice over as the woman keeps talking)
The Second..?
Woman
I want it hung precisely in the middle of this wall, exactly
the same distance from the ceiling as it is to the floor.
You do understand sir? Ceiling to floor.
Chris
Yes, got it. Ceiling to floor. No problem.
Woman
I am to run an errand, I will be back in several
minutes, I expect that you’ll be finished by then.
Chris
The Lord is in good hands.
Woman exits the apartment. Chris surveys the living room spotting Vuitton. The pampered miniature poodle is relaxing on a chair. Chris then empties his bag on the Persian rug: a hammer, several nine inch nails, dozens of thumb tacks, six worn wall anchors, and a roll of cellophane tape. He successfully hammers in two anchors, then triumphantly stands back to admire his work. Vuitton comes by, sits next to Chris and looks at the wall.
Chris
Looks good, doesn’t it, dog?
With no response from Vuitton, Chris hoists the painting catching the anchors. His job is done. Shot of Chris admiring then to dog still in same spot just looking. OTS shot of Chris admiring his work. Painting crashes to the floor.
Chris
Crap!
Startled, Vuitton scoots right through the tacks emitting a gigantic yelp. Chris abruptly turns in response, tearing a hole in the canvas with his heel as Vuitton disappears into a rear room. He now stands frozen, horrified at the gash. Realizing what he brought is useless to repair the painting, and fearing the imminent return of his employer, Chris runs to the kitchen looking for anything he might use.
Tearing through drawers, he finds a roll of duct tape, considers but moves on, scotch tape, coffee filters, then picks up Elmer’s glue
Chris
In this apartment?
Puts it down and grabs a stapler left on a table near some papers. Back in the living room he quickly realizes this won’t work.
Chris
Crap!!!!!!!! Useless!!
Runs back to the kitchen, grabs the glue, back to the painting, puts some on the flaps and tries to seal them. Fearing the drying is taking too much time, Chris grabs a hairdryer from the bathroom, returns, plugs it in and slowly calms down as the machine does its thing. Checking his progress by peering around to the front, he realizes the paint is loosening. He abruptly stops the dryer and returns it. Vuitton is now watching from the safety of another doorway. Steeling himself to finish the job he was hired for Chris uses all the anchors to hang the painting.
Examining the repair, Chris is confident his patch job will pass muster. He flops into a nearby chair.
Woman (enters with a flourish)
Are you finished yet?
Chris
Yes, M’am.
Chris leaps out as the woman proceeds to get her best vantage point. He counters her movement by strategically placing himself to obscure the repair.
Chris (nervously)
What do you think? Do you like it?
Woman stands in the middle of her living room not saying a word. Then,
Woman
You’ve done a fine job. Here’s your payment along
with a bonus. I’m impressed with your work. Thank you.
Chris
Thank you Ma’m.
He exits. As he walks down the hall, he hears the priceless heirloom crash to the floor. He runs.
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More of Ron Basci’s Funny Situations
What I learned from this assignment is how dire or horrific scenarios can be fertile fields for comedy.
INT. NIGHT. JANUARY 19-20, 2021. A VAN TRAVELS NORTH TOWARDS TEXAS, USA. COYOTE MARCO DRIVES WHILE HUNCHED IN THE REAR ARE ESME, BENITO, RASHID, REXIN, MANNY AND MIRANDA.
The characters: MARCO, a forty five year old pot bellied Hispanic. MIRANDA, 16 years old is with her boyfriend, MANNY, 19, both are naive. She is seven months pregnant. REXIN, 35, a Chinese working class laborer, RASHID, 28, a dark and brooding Pakistani, ESMERALDA, heavy set upbeat 40something, and her traveling companion, BENITO 38, who has made this trip before.
MARCO
(shouting to the back)
One more stop in lovely Mexico. There you will turn over your valuables before the crossing.
Disgruntled mumbling ensues. Then
BENITO
That’s why I travel light. See? No rings.
MANNY
But Miranda and me, we gave everything. We have nothing. What will happen for us?
BENITO
Then you’ll be on your own.
MIRANDA
No. We will die here!
ESME
Don’t worry angel, there is always a way, you’ll be fine.
MANNY
Miranda and me. We are running away. She has my baby, but her family…you know.
REXIN
Keep your head down, mind your business. Wear blinders.
(demonstrates)
No one will bother you.
RASHID
I don’t like this. We’re too close to the border. Let’s jump Marco and throw him out.
He slowly reaches into his pocket, partially pulls a knife, replaces it, taps his pocket. No one notices.
REXIN
(scooting as far from all as possible.)
My brother will pay for me. I hear nothing.
BENITO
Be practical, Marco knows the route. We don’t.
RASHID
(displaying the weapon)
Then we need to take him hostage.
ESME
This is starting to get out of hand.
MANNY
Yes! This is the way! We are five six with Miranda. We will succeed!
ESME
Don’t be foolish, calm down.
RASHID
I don’t care if I’m alone. I will get him.
BENITO
And once you do, what next?
MIRANDA
We’ll tie him up!
REXIN
With what?
MIRANDA
Shoe laces!
ESME
How would he drive?
RASHID
He won’t. He’ll guide us. I’ll drive. You hold him, Rex.
REXIN
With shoe laces? You have the knife.
BENITO
I can drive.
ESME
Oh, God.
MIRANDA
(becoming enthusiastic)
Yes, yes!
ESME
I can’t believe this is happening.
REXIN
(to Rashid)
How do you approach him?
ESME
I have some apricot brandy. But this is crazy.
RASHID
Maybe, but it’s going to happen.
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Ron Basci Funny Situations Lesson 3
What I learned from this assignment: How difficult it was for me to insert a genuinely comedic situation without using already established characters and absent of the movie plot. This was a good test.
On a noisy and busy Manhattan street a patrol car searches for a missing young, Bollywood actress. The PATROLMAN points to a pretty brunette passing by.
PATROLMAN
That’s her! Slow down.
DRIVER
(glances quickly)
Not even close. She’s American, Romeo!
As car continues, a store owner emerges from his shop shouting and gesticulating for help unseen and unheard in the crowd. Patrolman spots another young woman walking in the same direction car is traveling. He looks down at the missing’s photo and up again, excitedly
PATROLMAN
There she is!
Car passes revealing an Oriental woman. Patrolman is disappointed and angry
PATROLMAN
Shit! I could swear it was her! Forget t.
Car continues as a stunning South Asian WOMAN comes into view in the midst of the crowd. Driver uses his chin to point to her. A teenager is lounging nearby carefully watching the patrol car.
DRIVER
Here we go, over there. How ’bout that one?
PATROLMAN
Pull over quick! Hey baby!
Woman looks and sneers, keeps going. Car pulls up along side.
PATROLMAN
I said to stop! We have some questions for you. C’mere.
Woman approaches and leans into passenger window. Street noise more audible.
PATROLMAN
We’re looking for this actress and were wondering if that’s you.
Annoyed, she responds with a hard shake of her head,
WOMAN
No! What’s with you? Didn’t get any last night? You think we all look alike? Get lost, loser!
PATROLMAN
Well, you are a feisty one, and a hottie, too. Why don’t you and me…
Woman slaps Patrolman hard almost sending him into the Driver’s seat. Driver chuckles as she walks off. As this transpires, the teenager springs into action grabbing a woman’s purse and taking off. The victim begins the chase, abruptly stops, the police are oblivious – being otherwise occupied.
DRIVER
This is getting us nowhere and your face is starting to swell. Let’s cut this crap and do some real police work.
PATROLMAN
Yeah, but I’m gonna keep an eye out.
DRIVER
Another slap and you might lose one. Hey there! She’s walking away, she looks exactly like the picture from the back.
PATROLMAN
Yeah, gotta be, yeah… Uh. No. Keep going.
DRIVER
What, you sure?
PATROLMAN
Yeah, that’s my brother.
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Ron Basci Comedy Plots Day 2
What I learned:
By combining the three types into a narrative, a story has its beginnings.
Recent environmental studies college grad with his head in the clouds heads for Alaska to save the world.
While fighting nature in the remote wilderness he meets and recruits a 50ish rugged female individualist to his cause: climate change.
After convincing the skeptical pragmatist to be a bit more concerned about the outside world, they agree to spark a social media movement to repurpose the Keystone pipeline. How to repurpose is a mystery. Let the people decide, they agree. Once begun, environmentalists applaud the initiative, while Big Oil and others gather oppose it. A great debate spreads across the land. As the movement continues to gain steam, the public turns to our heroes. What is YOUR plan?
Asked directly during a televised interview, our grad hastily comes up with a solution. We should transport ice in its liquid form to be refrozen at its destination points, he says. This will mitigate global warming.
The initiative immediately fails as California and several Western states object claiming that they need water to be water. Fallen after a moment of glory, our hero accepts a teaching position at a community college while our erstwhile heroine returns to her beloved isolation.
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Hi Margaret,
Self reliance is a wonderful thing and this “Ol’ Gal” sure is determined. Despite all her mishaps with the task at hand, her octogenarian mind defeated the scammer. A victory for all of us!
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Hi William,
Loved the snappy interchanges, had me chuckling throughout. Reminiscent of George and Gracie and, of course, Abbot and Costello. The Odd Couple references were well placed and the Bewitched nose twitch a fine touch. Shades of Preston Sturges.