Joseph Zastawny
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Bobby’s Act 1
These are just temporary placeholders for scenes in Act 1 – nothing in stone yet – bit by bit – this will come together – I promise!
What I learned:
Still trying to figure out who my essential characters are around Bobby and their respective roles – this is a learning process to be sure. I learned that there are no wrong answers, simply maybe the wrong words that will lead to the better ones ….INT. JUDY’S BEDROOM
Feminist posters of famous female icons adorn the rooms walls. Judy is quietly reading in her big reading chair next to her bed – when she hears dishes being broken downstairs in the kitchen.THWACK
CRASH
CRUNCH
BOOM
Judy tenses up immediately. Bobby comes running into her room.BOBBY
(fearfully)
“It’s happening again…..”
Judy motions Bobby forward.JUDY
(gives Bobby a small comforting smile)
“Close the door. Lock it – you can stay in here. Just be…very quiet. Okay?”Judy hands Bobby an old Marvel comic. Bobby’s hand automatically reaches for it – hiding out in his sister’s room is something he’s clearly used to.
Bobby lies down on his sister’s rug in front of her. He gently peruses the comic – trying to concentrate – amidst his mother screaming out multiple hail Mary’s as more plates come crashing down from the cupboards.
INT. BOBBY’S BEDROOM
Bobby lies on his bed. He bounces a ball against his sister’s wall. He can now because Judy is gone. Gone – he doesn’t know where.
Bobby misses Judy. He seems very forlorn – and far too melancholic for a 12-year-old. He should be outside playing.
He doesn’t feel like going outside today.
EXT. DRIVEWAY
Bobby watches as his father leaves – in their family’s station wagon – leaving him alone with his mother, just as Judy did.This time Bobby’s father is going on an extended business trip – they are opening new locations in the south and it may take longer than expected.
Bobby bounces his ball. It rolls away from him and out into the street.
Bobby doesn’t retrieve the ball.
INT. BOBBY’S HOUSE
Bobby’s mother Angela is destroying Judy’s room.She screams and shouts about Angela burning in hell for her sins.
She takes all of Judy’s belongings and dumps them in huge cardboard boxes.
EXT. BACKYARD
Bobby’s mother is burning all of Judy’s belongings – clothes, posters, books, etc.Bobby spies a stack of Marvel comics – Judy’s favorites. As his mother throws clothes in the fire, Bobby makes a headlong dive into a cardboard box for the comics. He grabs them – success!
ANGELA
(turns around, seeing him)
“What are you doing? Give those back!!!”Bobby is too quick. He runs back into the house with the comics – intending to hide them.
ANGELA
(still yelling)
“…..you defiant ingrate! I’ll get you!”EXT. WOMEN’S SHELTER – DOWNTOWN
Outside two women smoke cigarettes, a third woman rocks twin toddlers in a broken-down stroller.Judy clutches the scraps of her blouse to her chest. She still has her purse and backpack at least.
Tears have dried down her face – her mascara and eyeliner leaving spiderwebs down her face.
She sighs and trudges forward into the homeless shelter for women. -
Joe’s Turning Point 1 Scene(s)
What I learned: As I work through each of these lessons I find that the process of structuring the story (my weakest point when writing) is starting to become much more manageable and practical. The hardest part is just to keep going – just keep writing – just keep swimming…
INT. ST. CATHERINES PRIMARY SCHOOL
Bobby sits in the back of the class – idly gazing out the window out onto the school’s play-yard.
He shakes his head. He’s tired of playing little kid games. He’s anxious to be bigger – he’s anxious to do something, to do anything, at all really.
Bobby glances at his frumpy math teacher, MR. MICHAELS – glasses the size of goggles, dressed in ballon-esque khaki pants, the school’s navy approved blazer, white starched collared shirt and standard plaid tie.
Bobby doodles in his composition book. He draws Mr. Michaels as an elephant with glasses – squeezed into a tight uniform suit. Bobby chuckled to himself when suddenly
THWANK
A folded up piece of paper in the shape of a triangle hits him in the head. It falls to his desk.
The triangle has X’s written on all over it. In the middle of the triangle tiny letters spell out
READ ME.
Bobby discreetly opens up the note in his lap underneath his desk so as not to cause suspicion.
The crumpled paper reads:
SAW YOUR STUNT AFTERSCHOOL LAST WEEK. MEET AT THE BUS STOP NEXT TO OLD HANKS.
The note was signed KYLE AND THE YEE BOYS.
Old Hank’s was a neighborhood quick mart – junk food, alcohol, cigarettes, dairy if your household got desperate and ran out. It was also located next to the school with an eagle eye view of the local park and basketball courts across the street.
Bobby smiles to himself – remembering how Kyle saluted him and his car bumper hitch-riding stunt(s). He sobers quickly – slowly grimacing – remembering how his mother embarrassed him and wondering if he will ever see Judy again.
EXT. HANKS QUICK MART
Bobby has taken a shortcut and sneaks up on KYLE – a young boy with a blond buzzcut (Bobby had heard how all of Kyle’s family had gotten a bad batch of lice and as a result they all got their heads shaved including his sisters), and a dimple in his chin. He wore standard school attire and red converse hi-top sneakers.
Kyle and his friends were known among older gangs as the YEE BOYS – a young gang of neighborhood boys.
KYLE
(speaking to a group of three to four boys ranging in age 13 to 14- Bobby of course being just 12 )
“…Go easy on him – he’s the youngest newbie . . .
I think he’s got something though, potential yeah….
Bobby straightens up and peers up at Kyle – who though only a year older towers at least a head or two above Bobby.
BOBBY
Hey ya Kyle – got your message…what’s up?
Kyle gives Bobby a piercing look. He rubs his hands together.
KYLE
“It’s easy kid, you just gotta pretend to buy something….”
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What I learned:
The freedom to let myself go – to just write – even if its a draft or it won’t make it into the actual script. All writing can lead to something I can use – I can work with. I’m also learning about the characters – my antagonist and my protagonist. I see them as having dual journeys.
EXT. BOBBY’S HOME
A ramshackle two-story brick house, that’s seen better days. It used to look pristine – back in prohibition times but the front yard is overgrown with weeds – the windows are high – with some windows having stain glass from the early 19th century.
The front door opens and JUDY – a sixteen-year old with red hair like Angela’s – very pretty, with a pert nose and bangs framing her oval face – comes running out. She wears cut off jeans and a floral blouse.
Judy carries a large stuffed duffel bag, a purple backpack, and a brown leather purse. She is visibly shaken and crying.
Angela comes barreling after her.
ANGELA
“Drop those bags! You ungrateful little whore!”
JUDY
“This is my stuff Ma – they belong to me”
Angela and Judy get in a tug of war match with the duffel bag. Both refuse to budge. They both struggle furiously until the duffel bag breaks, spilling open to reveal its contents: clothes, toiletries, books, etc.
ANGELA
“Get the hell out! Take nothing you vile wretched
Cursed thing!”
Bobby looks on – hiding behind the slightly ajar front door.
JUDY
“What is wrong with you? It was an
Accident….your lord in heaven
can forgive me!!”
ANGELA
“You’re an unsullied rotten creature!
Leave now before you taint your brother
with your sin!”
JUDY
“You are delusional! You
Crazy fucking bitch!”
Angela straightens up. She glowers menacingly at Judy. She slaps Judy hard across the face.
BOBBY
Mom?!
Judy is not shocked – but angers quickly. She slaps Angela back.
BOBBY
Stop! Please stop fighting.
Angela’s face reddens, now she is truly furious. Bobby cowers behind the door, clearly scared of her.
Judy breathes heavily – her eyes darting back and forth between Bobby and Angela. She gives Bobby a slight nod – as if saying goodbye and goodluck.
She grabs her backpack and purse quickly. She starts running.
Unbeknownst to Judy, Angela takes off right after her and starts running too.
ANGELA
“You ungrateful little harlot! Damn you to hell!”
She catches up to her Judy. She yanks the backpack off her. In the commotion, Judy falls down. Angela snatches at Judy’s blouse and rips it off her.
Judy clutches a piece of the fabric to cover her bra and herself. She still has a purse and she takes off running into the street – with cars dodging to avoid her. Once safely on the other side of the street – she takes off running further.
Angela does not follow.
Bobby stares out the living room window with tears running down his face.
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I learned: that even though what I put forth on the page might not work down the line – it’s a good starting point – it gives me something to work with – something to mold into a better shape. I have a clear idea of my protagonist but I definitely need more fleshing out of my antagonist – this kind of deep dive(s) is most definitely not for the faint of heart – good luck to all of us out there !
Act 1
EXT. ST. CATHERINES PRIVATE SCHOOL – DAY
Opening: FIRST DAY OF MIDDLE SCHOOL
Bobby is no longer a little kid but not yet a teenager…
EXT. BOBBY’S HOME – DAY
Inciting Incident: Bobby’s older teen sister Eileen is kicked out of the house – she is pregnant
EXT. OUTSIDE CATHOLIC CHURCH – DAY
Bobby asks his mother if Eileen is like Mary and did God magically put the baby inside her too?
Placeholder: Bobby’s mother is extremely religious – she has multiple shrines placed throughout the home and lots of and lots of candles …..
Theme: Loss of innocence – Bobby is not a kid anymore and he must grapple at home without the protection of his sister. He starts to realize that she protected him from their crazy mother
INT. BOBBY’S HOME – NIGHT
Without his sister to protect/spare him from his mother, Bobby is scared of his mother – she screams and rants about Jesus, sins, and various saints….
EXT. ST. CATHERINES PRIVATE SCHOOL – DAY
Bobby causes a ruckus in front of school – he SKEETCHES – attracting the attention of boys a little older than him known to be in a local neighborhood street game
Placeholder – With Bobby’s sister gone, he turns to his father – but his father is leaving for an extended work trip leaving Bobby all alone with his mother…….
EXT BOBBY’S HOME – DAY
Bobby is hanging out on his doorstep – he didn’t want to go with his mother to church so she left him outside locked out of the house. A couple older kids from school (the same ones who were impressed with the ruckus he caused) see him and invite him to hang out with them.
INT/EXT HOME – DAY
Without Bobby’s sister around, his mother focuses solely on him – he even catches her watching him sleep. She grows obsessed with her son, especially since her husband is gone more and more. She has control issues, especially due to being raised by her cruel aunt who would often lock her in the basement without nourishment (her own parents having perished in a car crash)- her aunt was deeply religious and taught her the (cruel) ways of the one true Lord….
Turning Point – Bobby joins a gang – his initiation consists of robbing a local neighborhood liquor store – he pulls it off – barely
Act 2
INT. ST. CATHERINES PRIVATE SCHOOL – DAY
Bobby’s counselor is worried about him – he isn’t doing well in his classes – due to his always hanging out with his slightly older troublemaker friends . . .
INT. BOBBY’S HOME – NIGHT
Bobby’s mother punishes him – she whips his back with a studded rosary. Bobby cries and tries to call his sister but his mother has removed the telephone now the only phone is in her room . . .
INT/EXT BOBBY’S FRIENDS HOUSE – DAY
Bobby hangs out at his friend Kyle’s house after school – they shoot at small animals in his backyard. Bobby kills a squirrel and he is saddened but hides his feelings from Kyle.
Placeholder – Bobby tries to contact/see his sister. His mother is scaring him, she is acting crazy, she keeps lighting candles, praying out loud, and counting her studded rosary – he thinks something is wrong with her.
Placeholder: Flashback – Bobby’s mother has repressed memories of a priest coming to visit her aunt – the aunt let the priest harm her while she was in the basement – she disappeared into her mind during these “holy visits” from the priest….
Act 3
INT. ST. CATHERINE’S PRIVATE SCHOOL – DAY
Bobby gets a new arts teacher – the previous teacher was elderly and suddenly passed away. The new teacher Mrs. Williams is much younger – and she intrigues Bobby.
INT. STAGE – DAY
Bobby gets interested in the arts – Mrs. Williams invites him to join an after school theater arts club. Bobby wants to but he can’t – he has gang activities he must parktake in – joy rides, dirty movies, beer, weed, and other mischief.
INT. BOBBY’S FRIENDS HOUSE – DAY
Kyle lets Bobby crash with him – but Kyle’s family are all drug addicts and they press Bobby for money for anything of value – Bobby happily goes out looking for scores.
EXT. TRAINYARD – NIGHT
Bobby breaks into a freight train and shows the score to his friends and some older gang members but things go terribly wrong – one of his friends is killed and some including Bobby are arrested.
EXT. BOBBY’S HOME – DAY
Because Bobby is not yet a teenager he is let back into his mothers custody – the worst possible place for him he thinks – he would prefer juvie to being alone at home with his mother…
INT. BOBBY’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Bobby is punished severely by his mother. She also finds a hidden drug stash in his room. She uses a hot iron poker from the family fireplace to burn Bobby with. Bobby runs away.
Act 4
EXT. LOCAL WOMEN’S SHELTER – DAY
Bobby tracks down his sister but she is staying in a home for only girls. Bobby is not allowed to stay with her.
Placeholder: Bobby’s sister confesses that their mother is not only crazy but she is a murderer – she killed her aunt – by smothering her face with a pillow so it looked like she died in her sleep……
INT. ST. CATHERINE’S PRIVATE SCHOOL – DAY
Bobby has no one left to turn to – he confesses everything to Mrs. Williams. She notifies the proper authorities immediately.
Placeholder: No one, not even Bobby can get in touch with his father….
EXT. BOBBY’S HOUSE– DAY
Bobby’s house is on fire – firefighters get his mother out alive just in time. She keeps slapping her face with her studded rosary and shouting hail mary’s. She has bloody welts on her face and is taken to the psych ward.
INT. BOBBY’S FATHERS CAR – DAY – some time later
Bobby finds out his father has a secret family across town. He goes to live with them and his father and will soon go to a new school – where he will hopefully start a new and better life….
Theme: Growth and rebirth – Bobby can grow into the person he wants to become – if he so chooses – out of all the darkness there can be light – rejuvenation after great and many tragedies…..
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I learned that no task is impossible – just that some tasks are harder than others. I also learned that I need to be hard on myself – I have a lot I want to write but sometimes finding the right words can be a struggle but on the other hand I learned that there are no right or wrong words – merely they are all stepping stones leading to the greater picture…..
Act 1
EXT. ST. CATHERINES PRIVATE SCHOOL – DAY
Opening: FIRST DAY OF MIDDLE SCHOOL
Bobby is no longer a little kid but not yet a teenager…
EXT. BOBBY’S HOME – DAY
Inciting Incident: Bobby’s older teen sister Eileen is kicked out of the house – she is pregnant
EXT. OUTSIDE CATHOLIC CHURCH – DAY
Bobby asks his mother if Eileen is like Mary and did God magically put the baby inside her too?
INT. BOBBY’S HOME – NIGHT
Without his sister to protect/spare him from his mother, Bobby is scared of his mother – she screams and rants about Jesus, sins, and various saints….
EXT. ST. CATHERINES PRIVATE SCHOOL – DAY
Bobby causes a ruckus in front of school – he SKEETCHES – attracting the attention of boys a little older than him known to be in a local neighborhood street game
Placeholder – With Bobby’s sister gone, he turns to his father – but his father is leaving for an extended work trip leaving Bobby all alone with his mother…….
EXT BOBBY’S HOME – DAY
Bobby is hanging out on his doorstep – he didn’t want to go with his mother to church so she left him outside locked out of the house. A couple older kids from school (the same ones who were impressed with the ruckus he caused) see him and invite him to hang out with them.
Turning Point – Bobby joins a gang – his initiation consists of robbing a local neighborhood liquor store – he pulls it off – barely
Act 2
INT. ST. CATHERINES PRIVATE SCHOOL – DAY
Bobby’s counselor is worried about him – he isn’t doing well in his classes – due to his always hanging out with his slightly older troublemaker friends . . .
INT. BOBBY’S HOME – NIGHT
Bobby’s mother punishes him – she whips his back with a studded rosary. Bobby cries and tries to call his sister but his mother has removed the telephone now the only phone is in her room . . .
INT/EXT BOBBY’S FRIENDS HOUSE – DAY
Bobby hangs out at his friend Kyle’s house after school – they shoot at small animals in his backyard. Bobby kills a squirrel and he is saddened but hides his feelings from Kyle.
Placeholder – Bobby tries to contact/see his sister. His mother is scaring him, she is acting crazy, she keeps lighting candles, praying out loud, and counting her studded rosary – he thinks something is wrong with her.
Act 3
INT. ST. CATHERINE’S PRIVATE SCHOOL – DAY
Bobby gets a new arts teacher – the previous teacher was elderly and suddenly passed away. The new teacher Mrs. Williams is much younger – and she intrigues Bobby.
Placeholder – Bobby gets interested in the arts – Mrs. Williams invites him to join an after school theater arts club. Bobby wants to but he can’t – he has gang activities he must parktake in – joy rides, dirty movies, beer, weed, and other mischief.
INT. BOBBY’S FRIENDS HOUSE – DAY
Kyle lets Bobby crash with him – but Kyle’s family are all drug addicts and they press Bobby for money for anything of value – Bobby happily goes out looking for scores.
EXT. TRAINYARD – NIGHT
Bobby breaks into a freight train and shows the score to his friends and some older gang members but things go terribly wrong – one of his friends is killed and some including Bobby are arrested.
EXT BOBBY’S HOME – DAY
Because Bobby is not yet a teenager he is let back into his mothers custody – the worst possible place for him he thinks – he would prefer juvie to being alone at home with his mother…
INT. BOBBY’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Bobby is punished severely by his mother. She also finds a hidden drug stash in his room. She uses a hot iron poker from the family fireplace to burn Bobby with. Bobby runs away.
Act 4
EXT. LOCAL WOMEN’S SHELTER – DAY
Bobby tracks down his sister but she is staying in a home for only girls. Bobby is not allowed to stay with her.
INT. ST. CATHERINE’S PRIVATE SCHOOL – DAY
Bobby has no one left to turn to – he confesses everything to Mrs. Williams. She notifies the proper authorities immediately.
Placeholder: No one, not even Bobby can get in touch with his father….
EXT. BOBBY’S HOUSE– DAY
Bobby’s house is on fire – firefighters get his mother out alive just in time. She keeps slapping her face with her studded rosary and shouting hail mary’s. She has bloody welts on her face and is taken to the psych ward.
INT. BOBBY’S FATHERS CAR – DAY – some time later
Bobby finds out his father has a secret family across town. He goes to live with them and his father and will soon go to a new school – where he will hopefully start a new and better life….
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I learned: that each of these exercises builds upon each other – and these building blocks can only help me – but first I must help myself by trying my best not to procrastinate, procrastination being my greatest weakness and my greatest enemy as of late.
Protagonist – Bobby
Old Ways: Troublemaker, low-self esteem, ignorant, chaotic, pessimistic
New Ways: Maturity milestone, knowledgeable, optimistic, hopeful
List of steps:
1. Learns that a life of crime is not the path for him – he wants to do better, he wants to be better
2. Battles a lot of inner strife, he knows his mother is not right in the head but he doesn’t know what to do about it
3. Become a better student, try to be the son his father would be proud of
4. Discover that he cannot trust his friends or his mother – who is his true mentor? It’s not the gang member he idolizes but his arts teacher Mrs. Williams
5. Takes a step back from his gang friends and tries to be engaged in school and the arts
6. Gets in trouble with both his gang friends and his mother – who finds his friend’s drug stash
7. Starts believing in himself, his mother gets taken away from him and he starts a new life on the other side of town with his father, and his father’s family
Tests/Examples:
1. Wants to be a part of something so he joins a gang – they introduce him to petty crime and other mischief
2. Has some close calls with getting caught – almost goes to juvie and sees a friend die in a freight train hijacking gone wrong
3. Confides in a teacher at school – Mrs. Williams – she tries to convince him to join after school arts activities
4. His friends make fun of him for his interests at school – he agrees to stash drugs at his home for his friends
5. Discovers he likes the arts and wants out of his friends gang activities
6. Chaos ensues when his mother finds the drug stash at home – they argue she tries to burn him with a hot iron in the shape of a cross – he runs away
7. He has no one to turn to – he confides in Mrs. Williams, his mother is taken away
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What I learned doing this assignment: by breaking my script down into structural chunks of information with focused points of protagonist and antagonist action, the process feels more manageable and enjoyable.
1. Give us the following:
Concept: Disillusioned with his parents and elementary school, Bobby finds a new life through petty crime and by joining a street gang.
Main Conflict: Rebelling against his mothers religious dogma, Bobby’s troubles at school soon escalate delinquent acts of crime and theft in search of a better life.
Old Ways: Troublemaker, low-self esteem, ignorant, chaotic, pessimistic
New Ways: Maturity milestone, knowledgeable, optimistic, hopeful
2. Act 1:
Opening: Bobby exits school and “skeetches”(illegally shoe-skiing from the back of a car while trying not to be seen by the driver) – in front of a bunch of students and teachers in the snow filled street.
Inciting Incident: Bobby gets in a fight with Angela over laundry money.
Turning Point: Bobby befriends the neighborhood gang boys. He tips them off to an approaching rival gang.
Act 2:
New plan: He gets to know gang life, exposure to a “good life” filled with cars, weed, beer, junk food, neighborhood girls etc.
Plan in action: Even though Bobby has made these new friends, he feels isolated and knows that what he is doing is wrong, but he doesn’t know a way out, he turns to Mrs. Williams, the only teacher at school who “gets him”
.
Midpoint Turning Point: Bobby’s new friends start robbing freight trains, one of them is caught and goes to juvie. One of them also dies in a horrible accident gone wrong….
Act 3:
Rethink everything: Bobby ponders that maybe gang life is not for him.
New plan: Bobby tries to get involved with extracurricular activities after school with Mrs. Williams, his friends try to draw him back in. He also vows to get his mother psychological help.
Trying Point: Huge failure / Major shift:
Bobby and his mother have a huge fight. She finds a stash of drugs Bobby’s been holding for his friends. She flushes it down the toilet. She crosses the line and tries to burn him with the shape of a cross above his heart. He runs away.
Act 4:
Climax / Ultimate expression of conflict
Bobby is in trouble and needs to come up with the money for the drugs. He is chased down by his friends and cars and hides out at school. He confesses to Mrs. Williams about his trouble and his mother.
Resolution:
Mrs. Williams calls child services and Bobby’s mother is taken to a psych ward. Bobby tracks down his father who is revealed to have another family on the other side of town. He agrees to house Bobby out of guilt and Bobby goes to a new school with a sense of renewed hope.
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What I learned doing this assignment:
Discovering my characters’ voices is really helping me to nail down their personalities – thinking in terms of three-dimensional characters I think is necessary to my path forward on this journey ….
QUESTIONS FOR YOUR PROTAGONIST
Tell me about yourself.
Uh hello my name is Bobby – short for Robert Jr. I’m named after my dad. I don’t see him that much cause he’s always traveling for work. I wish I was old enough to work so I could go with him. I.. I miss him.Why do you think you were called to this journey?
I think it’s cause I’m growing up ya know? – I’m not a kid anymore, and my friends are all older – they know what’s up…
Why you?
Cause I see a lot of adults as two-faced, like the bad guy in the batman cartoon. You can’t trust your parents, school, and especially the church – that stuff is all fake.
You are up against Angela (Mom) . What is it about them that makes this journey even more difficult for you?
I don’t think she wants me to grow up, you know? She wants me to stay a kid. This stuff is hard because she disowned my sister, they don’t even talk anymore. I feel like I am torn between them, it sucks. My sister Judy had the balls to run away and live her own life…I wish I could be more like her….
In order to survive or accomplish this, you are going to have to step way outside of your box. What changes do you expect to make and which of them will be the most difficult?
I think the hardest part of all of this is my friends – they are good guys at heart but they do a lot of um bad stuff… nothing too R rated but yeah they like to cause trouble…I want to be a better student and I like the theater arts teacher Mrs. Williams…she’s different from all the other adults but my friends hate school…I think I might need to ditch my friends but I fear I maybe can’t you know?What habits or ways of thinking do you think will be the most difficult to let go of?
I think pretending not to care…when I really do. I gotta stop that but I just don’t know how to but I wish I did…What fears, insecurities and wounds have held you back?
That my Dad doesn’t love me – that my sister doesn’t love me – I think they do but Dad is always gone and Judy bailed – and now I’m stuck with Ma – I think maybe sometimes I’m scared of her, my mom I meanWhat skills, background or expertise makes you well-suited to face this conflict or antagonist?
I know how to escape and outrun my Mom – I’m good at it. She doesn’t like it and often throws her rosary beads after me ….What are you hiding from the other characters? What don’t you want them to know? Hiding?
That my Ma is crazy – she, she’s not right in the head, she sees things that aren’t there and talks to herself….a lot. I get worried, you know?
What do you think of ?
That other people’s parents are…normal. Their dad is at home for dinner, these other kids are not stuck with just their mom. You see, it’s not the best at home for me…..Tell me your side of this whole conflict / story.
I want to be better than my mom – she doesn’t live in the real world she doesn’t get it – I wish she would be on my side you know? But she doesn’t care, she only cares about her bible stories and going to church….What does it do for your life if you succeed here?
I need to do better in school, I need to get my grades up, I can’t be left behind a grade…..
Ask any other questions about their character profile that will help you.
– in process/pending thanks!
QUESTIONS FOR YOUR ANTAGONIST
Tell me about yourself.I’m Angela. Praise be and god bless you Jesus will shine a light of love straight into you and you will be beamed up to our father who art in heaven.
Having to do with this journey, what are your strengths and weaknesses?
My strength comes from God. He has truly truly blessed me. Weakness? There is no weakness, there is only strength in belief.Why are you committed to making the Protagonist fail? Or for a relationship movie, why are you committed to making them change?
He is a dirty boy, who needs as much help as possible from the lord. He needs to come with me to Church. I try to drag him but he just won’t go. He runs away – it’s because he has been falling for the devil just like his father.What do you get out of winning this fight / succeeding in your plan / taking down your competition?
I will put my boy Bobby on the righteous path. He will be good. I hope he becomes a priest one day…..What drives you toward your mission / agenda, even in the face of danger, ruin, or death?
My parents were both alcoholics. They drank themselves to death and I was orphaned, sent to live with my cruel Aunt Mary. She would beat me while she read the Bible out loud. I found solace in the lord and strive to do his good work.What secrets must you keep to succeed? What other secrets do you keep out of fear / insecurity?
Aunt Mary did more than beat me – she gave me lashings with a belt and she dripped hot candle wax on me. I still have the scars. I hide them. Bobby doesn’t know anything about this and he never will.Compared to other people like you, what makes you special?
I survived Aunt Mary and was resurrected through God’s love. His light now shines on me where once I was a dark foul little thing.I don’t need the approval of others.
What do you think of ?
I feel sorry for Bobby – he idolizes false gods – his teacher Mrs. Williams, all that damn sinful music, R-rated movies, and slutty TV! I have to cleanse Bobby’s mind from all the filth out there…Tell me your side of this whole conflict / story.
I am trying to save Bobby – I don’t want him to end up a degenerate on the street begging for scraps and dancing for greasy dollar bills like his rotten sister. I am Bobby’s salvation I must show him the way no matter what…..god willing. -
Bobby’s Character Profile Part II
1. What I learned:
I learned that the protagonist and the antagonist are in a sense, two sides of the same coin – they each come from a similar emotional place but how they get what they want creates obstacles for the other.
2. Fill in Part 2 of the character Profile for your two lead characters:
Bobby – Protagonist:
What draws us to this character?
His innate striving to better himself despite resistance from forces in his life – his mother’s religious zealotry, his friends on the street that want him to get into trouble, etc.Traits:
– thoughtful, sensitive, curious
– tries to be tough – to show he he is no longer a kidSubtext:
– he acts like he is a young adult even though he is still very much a kid
– he deflects from sharing his own thoughts and feelings, instead he tries to impress others– runs headlong into trouble – thinking he is doing adult things i.e. petty crime, hanging with older teenagers, drugs, alcohol, sex, etc.
Flaw:
– fear of his absentee father finding out, fear of his controlling mother, fear of letting his sister down, fear of not being tough in front of his fatherValues:
– truth, art – acting and the theater, adulthood,
Irony:
– He is still very much 12 years old – he is thrust quickly into adult situations and must think on his toes or risk everything – his family, his friends, his futureWhat makes this the right character for this role?
– Bobby idolizes the adults around him, even ones in his neighborhood who are criminals – he looks up to anyone that impresses him and he is easily impressed – his naivete makes him the perfect character to transform by the end of his journey.Angela, Antagonist:
What draws us to this character?
– She inverts the nurture mother role – instead of nurturing she is verbally and sometimes physically combative. She lives in a world of scripture, God, the devil, and angels. She denies the outside world and so in a way shuns her own son – she refuses to see him growing into a young man, preferring him to remain a childTraits
– delusional, abrasive, crazed, manic, negative, sometimes crueSubtext
– uses people’s flaws against them – Covers up her low sense of worth through worshipFlaw:
– hypocriticalValues:
– honesty, righteousness, sanctity, graciousnessIrony:
– her personality has driven her husband away hence why he travels for work – it is later discovered he has a secret separate family – another wife and childWhat makes this the right character for this role?
– her religious convictions make her the right character for this role – Bobby will later inherit her passions but direct it toward social pursuits – acting/theater/the arts -
What I learned doing this assignment is that storytelling is a complex puzzle that can be fun when broken down in this manner.
2. Pick the type of role your Protagonist will play and give us a few sentences on how they will fulfill that role.
Runner/victim.Bobby runs away from his turbulent family life at home – straight into the arms of trouble aka street life.
His physical surroundings he yearns to get away from and he will explore a variety of avenues (petty crime, adolescent love, and also as a student) as a Runner.
Bobby is also a Victim – of his surroundings – this leads him to make bad choices – but he will transform from a Victim to a Survivor/Fighter by the end.
3. Pick the type of role your Antagonist will play and give us a few sentences on how they will fulfill that role.
Villain/authority.Bobby’s mother Angela is extremely religious – she should be guiding him on his adolescent journey but instead she thwarts him at every turn. She is abusive towards Bobby and his sister and her aggression molds her family to be like her. Bobby strives to get away from Angela but as the younger sibling he is forced to deal with her self righteous delusions.
4. What other characters might be necessary?
Supporting characters: A supportive arts teacher named Mrs. WilliamsMinor roles: An older sister named Judy
5. Pick your genre.
Drama – coming-of-age6. Fill in whatever answers come to you about your lead character profiles.
Bobby’s role: He is a detective – he is curious about how other people lead their lives. He has unanswered questions because Angela always answers with a Bible quote. He is ashamed of his family life and yearns for his father to be around but he travels for work. He wants to be older and independent like his sister but is still breaking free from childhood.Age range and Description: 12, male, student
Internal Journey: Discovering himself separate from his family
External Journey: Growing from a child into a teenager
Motivation: Trying to be a good student despite his troublemaking friends
Wound: Ashamed – of his family and of himself
Mission/Agenda: To get out from under the thumb of his mother
Secret: Fear of failing
What makes them special? He is a sensitive artistic soul in the middle of the concrete jungle of the city.
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Joe’s Transformational Journey
What I learned doing this assignment is to not fear my writer voice but to embrace it – and just as my character will embark on journeys, I will as well with my writing.
1. Bobby is a twelve-year old boy on the cusp of adolescence. He still has some childhood innocence and is looking to lose it – he wants to be grown up so bad he will do just about anything.
Internal journey: From troubled and childish to empathetic and generous.
External journey: Young troubled boy who hangs with the wrong crowds grows up into a thoughtful and accountable young teen.
2. Old Ways: Troublemaker, low-self esteem, ignorant, chaotic, pessimistic
New Ways: Empowered, knowledgeable, serene, optimistic, hopeful
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I, Joseph Zastawny, agree to the terms of this release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
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Hello All,
I’m Joe Zastawny
I’ve written 3 scripts
I want to be better disciplined in my writing with less judgment in the beginning/early stages of writing and gain more practical writer tools towards following drafts.
My two cats(just over 13 months) are my latest form of writers block. The cheeky bastards work in shifts to paw at the keys when I sit down to type! I promise to not let them infringe on my class work. Excited to be here…!
Cheers,