

Joyce Davidson
Forum Replies Created
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Joyce’s High Concept/Elevator Pitch
What I learned doing this assignment: I like to answer several lessons at a time because it keeps the goals in my mind.
High Concept: Bertram Zed, a James Bond wanna-be, becomes the agent to save the world from a doomsday device.
• Dilemma – Bertie was a great accountant, but his desire to live a more exciting life seems unlikey. He is not the man his father is, another secret agent who is currently in prison in Spamovia. Can Bertie develop courage, intelligence, and stamina to stop the evil men who will use the device to master the world?• Main Conflict – MI6 barely trains Bertie Zed. Nevertheless, he flies to Spamovia where Warlick has possession of a device that interrupts all technical systems: drones, computers, phones, planes, everything.
• What’s at stake? His father’s life and the fate of the world hangs on the new spy Bertram Zed, 009 and 1/2, a young man who has never jumped from a plane, wind sailed over a bridge, or faced such evil men as Warlick and Ivan Metropolis.
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Joyce’s hooks for synopsis
WIL: So many ideas are not the best hooks. It takes discernment.Logline: A former accountant becomes a recruit for the SIS to rescue his agent father and the world from a mysterious doomsday device.
GENRE: comedy, spy spoof
The fate of the world depends upon a new MI6 recruit, but this bumbling accountant is no James Bond.
title: Zed (009 and 1/2)
After Funnelworth Financial closes the door behind accountant Bertram Zed, he wins his dream job with the Secret Intelligence Agency. With little training he goes to Spamovia to rescue his father Lance in a Spamovia prison because the experienced agent has uncovered Warlick’s discovery of a destructive device.
Beretie’s first attempt fails.
Warlick transports the entire spy team in Spamovia, including lovely Georgianna, a photo-journalist maybe, to the summit meeting at Morotosky where winning bid for the device will determine who can control the fate of the world.
Bertram Zed has no choice.
He must save his father, earn his respect, and together save the world.
He must form a plan. Perhaps he can Google it.0 -
Joyce’s points to interest a producer.
WIL specific hooks I have in my project willl help me write a pitch.:A. What is most unique about your villain and hero? He is a good accountant, but fired from his position, and he’s an untrained agent for SIS , but he now has his dream job and has a chance to save his father and the world.
B. Major hook of your opening scene? He discovers that his father has been a spy for many years.
C. Any turning points? He fumbles an awards party at work and loses his job.
D. Emotional dilemma? His father makes him feel that he is disappointed in his son and barely tolerates him.
E. Major twists? His father is wounded and can not return to the field. Bertie is hired and sent after his father sneaks out of the country and returns only to be captured.
F. Reversals?
G. Character betrayals?The man who controls the country and the mysterious device betrays his country.
H. Or any big surprises? Bertie rises to save the world. He also makes an impression on a lovely journalist who is really an agent, too.
2. Make a list of any other things in your script that could interest a producer. Bertie’s journey shows him as he becomes the spy he always wanted to be and he also shows promise for future assignments.0 -
Joyce’s Producer/Manager
What I learned today is I will have a beter chance with a producer than with a manager.
1. How will you present yourself and your project to the producer? I will greet the producer and when I am asked what the script is about, I will offer hooks and my goals to have an actor inerested in the main role. I will assure the producer that I wll be happy to utilize any suggestions and notes about the entire project.2. How will you present yourself and your project to the manager? I will approach a manager with a script that can be apossible series of sequels.
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WIL:The lesson erases some concerns that the script has to be elevated to attract a reader.
Wide audience appeal:The locatons and the plot of this comedy are aimed at worldwide appeal.
A great role for a bankable actor: A shorter under six feet actor could make this role memorable.
Unique: Zed, double O nine and a half is an poor recruit for spying, but he saves the world.0 -
WIL: I learned patience.
Title: Zed
1. Genre: Comedy (spy spoof)
2. Logline :A young, inept accountant becomes an agent for the Secret Intelligence Service when it has reached the bottom of the biscuit tin for operatives and they send him to rescue his agent father by saving the world from a mysterious doomsday device.
3. The main character is a bumbling James Bond wanna-be, but he overcomes his clumsiness as he originates ways to combat evil leaders, The role is for a thirty something man, not a huge adversary with training, but he evolves in his journey. There is a possiblility that the character will have a future in sequels.0 -
Hi, I’m an old writer and have a Master’s Certificate from 2017, I’ve written over 8 scripts. My most recent script received a recommend from Barb Doyon on the first round, and two of my scripts placed in contests; one in the top one hundred finalists and the other in the top one half. I have much to do although I have been retired 30 years because now that my husband has passed I have all the financial duties to continue addressing. My weakness is in marketing. This class should give me confidence and informatio as a refesher course. Classes I have taken are: Writing for Assignments, Profound, Thriller, Action, Comedy, AI, Binge Worthy T. V., Horror, Fresh and Edgy, Rewriteand some may be missing.
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GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I Joyce Davidson agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.0 -
Joyce’s Outline Powerfully
WIL: I have the horror scenes, but not the setup scenes. I have too many scenes fleshed out with dialogue.
INT. GYMNASIUM – NIGHT
Blaine works off his depression on the basketball court and is unaware of Jon (the monster) in the scoreboard booth.
Blaine takes another long shot.
Lights flicker.
Scares. He bounces the ball in place, looks around, takes the ball down the court with less enthusiasm.
Swish he scores an easy shot.
He fends off imaginary opponents, goes mid court, and throws. Swish.
The scoreboard lights blink and show points.
Nervous, Blaine wipes his nose and speaks to the dark corners of the gym. His voice cracks.
Suspense. Jon’s back looms in the booth. He wears the tiger costume head
Blaine tries to see in the dim light.
In a mad series of one-man play, he checks the gym between shots. Talks to the unseen controller.
Scoreboard goes crazy.
He aims a long shot that hits the backboard ready to plop into the basket. Two knives swish through the air and pierce the ball. It drops to the floor.
Blaine yells at the thrower in the dark. A slash. A scream. Blaine drops to his knees, bleeding. He falls on his face.
Jon leans over Blaine. His dark figure raises a knife and it plunges into Blaine. Jon drags the body.
Release. The scoreboard spits and spits. Then explodes.
Jon’s silhouette like a crouching tiger pads into the darkness.
INT. GYMNASIUM – NIGHT
After the loud crash Scott and Chad race to the gymnasium. They are cautious.
The lights flicker and most are out.
Chad says he smells burning wires.
They are apprehensive.
Shock. Scott stumble on Blaine’s feet.
Fear and dread. Chad gropes in the dark to yank the controls to raise the bleachers off the body.
The motor runs, but nothing goes up.
Chad takes out his cell phone.
No signal.
Release. They try to lift the bleachers manually,and move the section of bleachers a few inches.
Scott pulls on Blaine’s feet.
He drops them. They are bloody stumps.
Chad bends over, sick and in disgust.
Panic.Chad shines phone light around and at basketball net.
Blaine’s bleeding body hangs from it, missing legs.
Scott shakes the light as Chad cuts the body down.
In the doorway Haley stands, watches, and screams. She reels into the hall and sinks down against the lockers. Sobs.
Down the hall the shadow of a tiger moves away.
Hysteria. Scott runs to her, She points at Jon’s figure. Too late. He’s gone.
INT. BAND ROOM – NIGHT
Gray comes to bring Angel to the others, but Jon is already there to kill her.
RELEASE:A portable light shines on Angel and the drums she pounds. She screeches a fight song.
SUSPENSE:Jon wears the tiger head as he appears from the darkened hallway. He weaves past band chairs toward her.
Release: Angel mistakes him for Gray. Makes fun of him.
Release: Gray comes into the room. He yealls for her to come with him.
Fear. Jon swings a music stand at Gray.
Horror. They fight. Jon hits Gray again with the stand.
§Angel tosses the drumsticks at Jon and then she struggles to reach her baton.
Gray lies stunned.
Angel twirls the baton toward Jon. He grabs it.
She goes back and holds up a drum.
Jon thrusts the baton through the drum and her chest.
Gray crawls to him and yanks Jon’s feet out from under him.
He pins Jon down with a music stand. And tears off the tiger head.
Shocked, Gray sits back.
Jon shoves him and bolts out the door.
INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT
Desperate fear: Chad goes to get §Angel and Gray via the trophy display. He breaks the trophy case glass and takes out one the right size for a weapon.
Chad heads for the band room.
Horror/shock Angel is dead from a batton thrust to her chest.
Hysteria. Chad backs from there. He follows a trail of blood.
He meets Jon. Chad recognizes him.
He calls him a loser. They fight in the hall.
Chad is no match for Jon.
Beats him with the trophy. Chad lies in the hall dying.
INT. FURNACE ROOM – NIGHT
Maybe Jon isn’t the only monster.
Janitor Mooney acts out drunken fury toward Latoya. He grabs books from her and hits her.
She grabs his empty bottle and cracks it.
He shies away from the sharp edges.
He yells as Jon enters.
Latoya holds out the glass.
Jon elbows Janitor Mooney. Mooney hits the floor.
Latoya aims the bottle at Jon.
He grabs her arm and rams the broken glass at her neck.
She collapses.
Kristine fires an arrow. It lodges in his upper thigh.
He screams.
Bores into his shoulder.
Kristine sets another one in the bow.
Jon turns, lunges. He flays his arms at her.
She lets go the arrow, but he deflects it.
He closes in.
She grabs the arrow in his shoulder and swings him behind her, she slams a yearbook across his face.
He crouches stunned.
Fear. She scrambles for the broken bottle and defends herself.
Release. Jon limps from her and disappears into a dark passageway.
Kristine goes to Laatoya and stuffs paper into her wound.
She helps her to her feet and drags her out into the passageway. Dread. She follows the tracks Jon leaves.
At a narrow window she leans Latoya against the wall.
She squeases through the opening.
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL – NIGHT
An escape is found, but Jon may be watching.
The moon goes behind clouds. Rain begins, light rain at first, then it blows . The bulldozer lights up.
Jon runs the dozer, adds dirt to fill the excavation.
Kristine stands dumbfounded and defeated.
She holds out her hands.
Nothing is around her but mud.
She crawls and slides around the excavasion.
The bulldozer backs up for another run.
Kristine makes her way to Scott, reaches down, and he grabs her wrist,
Instead of burying him, the dirt boosts him.
Kristine heaves him above the pit. She slides him to safety.
She comes around the side of the bulldozer and slings two wads of mud at Jon’s head.
She climbs up and kicks Jon from the seat.
He drops into the mud.
Kristine backs up the dozer and the blade gathers mud, buries Jon. He rolls into the pit.
Kristine backs up, changes direction, and rams the building.
She helps Latoya outside.
Scott stands, coughs, and stumbles to her.
KRISTINE
Our chariot.
Scott helps Kristine raise Latoya in the cab and climbs in with them.
Kristine rams through the fence gate and on to the street.
EXT. INT. SCHOOL BUILDING – NIGHT
Kristine and Scott give up safety to go back and retrieve evidence to prove what went on.
EXT. INT. SCHOOL – NIGHT
They have no idea if Jon is alive.
They sneak in at the back.
They find dead Janitor Mooney whom Jon stuffs in furnace.
They struggle with Jon.
Scott is thrown aside on a pile of books.
Kristine battles Jon alone.
Jon pours gasoline and sets fire to the building.
He bangs Kristine against the furnace.
She kicks him and punches him.
Jon lies unable to get up.
The flames are intense.
Kristine yanks Scott to his feet.
Scott saves two yearbooks from the blaze.
They have to leave.
EXT. INT. SCHOOL BUILDING – NIGHT
Scott and Kristine tell her that her son is a murderer.
Kristine helps Scott get away.
Principal stands with husband. She orders him to save their son, but he refuses. He can’t move fast enough.
She claws inside through the smoke she pulls Jon from the blazing fire, but outside she collapses and dies.
Jon fades away in the smoke.
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by
Joyce Davidson.
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Revised outline.
EXT. INT. HOME – DAY
New, expensive neighborhood house with sign in the yard. “Model Home” sold.
A BMW-type car parks in the driveway.
KRISTINE steps out and walks to the mailbox, carries into the house several letters and an 8X10 mailer.
She rips open an envelope with a black border, an invitation to her 10th high school reunion.
Kristine looks puzzled and somewhat disturbed. She looks puzzled and somewhat disturbed.
A mysterious app signature shows up on phone and computer.
When she calls her father, a judge, and says she’s coming home to Lawtry Falls for a reunion and will visit him.
He warns her not to come. He will be guest lecturer at a law school and not at home. The townspeople have not forgotten the old scandal and won’t be friendly.
Flashback: On the day for delivering the Lawtry Falls yearbook, students are furious, for certain pictures are demeaning, vulgar, and damaging.
One girl is found in the river.Even though the students claim they never saw the hateful photos, police blame the annual staff.
Flashback:
The school board charges the yearbook staff with this crime, but they plead innocence. There is no proof any of them waylayed the book at the printing shop, but all books had to be returned to the school. They rule girl’s death is suicide. Her sister Angel was on the staff.
BACK TO SCENE:
Kristine’s husband MYLES comes home with interior designer PALMER. They are planning a new decor for the display houses.
Kristine wants to talk to husband privately.
Palmer leaves.
Kristine asks why they have to move into a new house so often. She wants her own home so they can settle down with a family.
He promises he will after he hits it big with his construction company projects. Why does she bring this up now?
She shows the invitation.
Myles suggests that she should go to the reunion and not make it a big deal. He’s too busy to leave. He’ll call.
EXT. INT. CAR (MOVING) – DAY
LATOYA, yearbook editor at Lawtry Falls ten years ago, asks to ride with Kristine.
They agree that they are crazy to let the townies set their claws in them again, and the black border on the invitation is in poor taste. Where’s the orange?
In the town Kristine stops to give sport’s editor BLAINE a ride to the dinner meeting.
He isn’t sure they should be seen with him. He’s not welcome most places, either. Everybody in town was positive he’d be in the NBA. It’s a wonder he lives here, but where else could he go? He lost his scholarship when the school lost the big game.
BLAINE gets into car.
They take him to room at hotel to clean up.
They compare invitations, all have black borders.
Kristine suggests they party without going.
EXT. INT. HOTEL- DAY
Marquee says reunion.
Blaine shows the yearbook to her with insulting pictures and comments.
That isn’t all Blaine shows them. There is a picture of him. He’s slam dunking, but the page has red streaks around it.
Latoya shows her yearbook. It also has ugly pictures and one of her holding a book, but it has a grotesque figure drawn on it.
Why didn’t Kristine bring her mailer?
They decide they have to go downstairs to the reunion.
INT. HOTEL BALLROOM – NIGHT
People mingle around tables set for dinner.
When Blaine walks past, guests part and stare at him.
Latoya gives them a look back. She sympathizes with him.
CHAD and GRAY cross the room to the three.
Gray slaps Blaine on the back Chad kisses Kristine.
She shrinks from him. Scott reminds him that she is married.
When they sit there are place cards for all of the yearbook staff from years ago.
They received similar desicrated yearbooks. One says the yearbooks that had to be destroyed years ago are still showing up in the school.
They want to go find them.
Principal speaks and says school has been sold to be renovated for apartments. Says to stay out of there.
Kristine goes out to phone Myles. Yes, he knew it was sold. His company bought it. He can’t talk now. Maybe, she can check it out while she is there.
Blaine should know these things. He lives in town, never went anywhere after losing the big game. Should have had a scholarship and gone pro. Class president Scott goes between them.
EXT. INT. HIGH SCHOOL – NIGHT
The group goes inside. Lights are on. Somewhere down the halls is giggling and slamming of lockers. Chad holds group back and offers to investigate, but before he moves, a couple of teenagers run outand slam the door as they go.
The lights flicker.
Where do they start?
Chad will organize.
Kristine laughs.
He isn’t impressed.
They go to the library first.
HALEY blames Latoya for messing up as editor.
ANGEL digs Haley about losing first place in honors.
HALEY
I should have been valedictorian.
They circle a picture in the book. Chad is down with the goal post wrapped around his neck and body.
GRAY
Photo edit. You can’t be worried about that. It’s a joke.
Chad grabs him.
CHAD
Maybe you think it’s funny. Took you long enough to show how jealous you are.
GRAY
I didn’t print that. Cripes, I’ve had plenty of chances to get back at you.
KRISTINE
Why, Gray?
GRAY
Nevermind.
Lights flicker and go out. Auxiliary lights come on, but they are dim.
BLAINE
I’m out of here. We won’t find anything tonight.
He goes.
They hear his footsteps down the hall.
CHAD
We know where there’s one room always bright and shiny.
SCOTT
Next to the yearbook room.
ANGEL
The pot room.
CHAD
And I have a bag or two.
KRISTINE
I’ll catch up with Blaine.
ANGEL
Still a Miss Priss, go on home, then. Nice seeing you – aging.
Kristine leaves them as they head the opposite direction.
Loud banging. They keep walking. More banging from a different direction. They get to the furnace room.
Chad shares his stash.
JANITOR Mooney comes in.
JANITOR
What. You creeps. Gonna get me fired.
ANGEL
Well, Mr. Mooney. Let’s call the cops.
HALEY
He won’t. Now we’re old enough to slap his disgusting hands. Keep them to yourself, old man.
JANITOR
You came for them books. I seen them pictures. A lot of folks wanted to run you out of town.
SCOT
You saw copies? Where?
JANITOR
All over the schoolhouse in lockers, on shelves under bleechers in the gym.
Chad stomps his joint.
CHAD
Lets go. We can canvas the school. We’ll take hall lockers first.
They go into the hall and start opening and slamming locker doors.
Kristine and Blaine join them.
KRISTINE
Blaine was halfway down the steet. Then we couldn’t get back inside. only one door is open.
GRAY
Mooney found books all over the place. You each take a hall and check it.
BLAINE
You’re kidding. We can’t find all of them. It takes a single copy to steam up the town again and I got nowhere else to go.
CHAD
Look in the gym, then.
GRAY
I’ll search the boy’s locker room.
KRISTINE
Perhaps, we should work together, two by two. Latoya, come with me.
SCOTT
I will. You know, one guy and one gal.
CHAD
Oh, sure.
Kristine and Scott move away.
CHAD
Haley, partner with me.
HALEY
As long as you never tell a soul.
They go another direction.
LATOYA
The library is a likely place.
ANGEL
It’s yours. I’ll be in the band room.
LATOYA
BUT, ANGEL —
ANGEL
If Mooney bothers you just punch him out.
LATOYA
He messed with you, too.
ANGEL
Until I threatened to smash his head with my batton.
INT. GYMNASIUM – NIGHT
The bleachers are folded up against the walls.
Blaine dribbles a ball, down the court and tosses it in. He plays a frenzied one-man throw and retrieve.
One eye watches him from the scoreboard booth.
Blaine stops playing, shrugs, and feints, dribbles to make a long shot.
The ball bounces ofF the rim. He snags it and goes back.
INT. SCHOOL – NIGHT
Montage
Kristine and Scott on opposite sides of a hall banging lockers, open and close them.
Latoya searches in the library.
Angel in the bandroom beats on a drumset.
Chad and Haley pass a trophy display next to girls’ locker room.
Gray is in boys’ locker room.
INT. BOYS’ LOCKER ROOM – NIGHT
Nothing shows up in the first row of lockers except his old mascot costume. He removes his jacket and puts on the tiger suit. He opens another row fast. No head for the costume.
He opens the last row where there is a yearbook and a picture.
Picture: Blaine, a teenager, jumping for a basket.
Gray talks to himself. He opens the next and finds the same.
Picture:
One of Blaine’e arms is missing and red streaks come from the shoulder.
BACK TO SCENE
Gray hesitates at the next locker, grabs it and jerks it open to a third picture.
Picture:
Both of Blaine’s arms are gone.
BACK TO SCENE
Gray slams the door shut. He leafs through the yearbook to sports.
Picture:
The action shot has been changed. Both legs and arms are missing from Blaine’s body.
BACK TO SCENE
Gray scrams out of there.
INT. GIRL’S LOCKER ROOM — NIGHT
The lockers stand open and Haley is in a small office, big glass window.
An eye is visible at a peep hole.
In a closet Haley finds a bow and arrows.
She sits at the desk and goes through the drawers. Old papers and grade books remain, but at the bottom of a drawer is a yearbook.
Suddenly Chad’s deep voice scares her.
Chad laughs.
HALEY
Where are you, dummy? Okay, spying on me. Sick Creep.
CHAD
My pocket money for lunch for years.
Chad runs into the room.
HALEY
We had a view to the boys’ locker room.
CHAD
Why? You’re rich.
HALEY
No charge.
She stands and chair rises and pulls her back.
HALEY
I’m stuck.
Chad tries to lift her.
Super glue. He takes out a pocket knife and cuts the back of her dress, puts a hole in the center and draws it over her head.
INT. LIBRARY – NIGHT
Scott and Kristine carry in yearbooks they found.
Latoya shows the few she has.
Half of the group chalk everything up to a joker, but which one is it?
Gray gasps, plops in and on a chair with Blaine’s pictures.
INT. GYM – NIGHT
Blaine takes another long shot.
Two knives swish and pierce the ball. It flops.
Blaine turns, but the thrower is in the dark.
BLAINE
You didn’t have do that. Always joking. This has gone far enough, buddy.
A slash. A scream. Blaine drops to his knees, bleeding. He falls on his face.
A whirring noise precedes a crash as stored bleachers rumble down over the body.
A silouette of a crouching tiger moves into the darkness.
INT. GIRLS’ LOCKER ROOM – NIGHT
Haley and Chad react to the scream and run. She carries the bow and arrows. Chad brings the yearbook.
INT. LIBRARY – NIGHT
All stand in the hall outside. Gray shows the picture in the yearbook.
Scott and Chad leave Gray in charge of the girls and go to the gym.
INT. GYM – NIGHT
The lights are flickering and half go out.
Chad and Scott try to raise the bleachers at the controls, but it won’t budge.
They stumble on Blaine’s feet and try to lift the bleachers manually.
Chad holds the bottom. Scott pulls Blaine’s feet. No body, just legs.
They shine a light.
Blaine’s bleeding torso hangs from the basketball net.
Chad cuts him down.
Haley stands in the doorway and screams.
She staggers to the hall and drops down.
Down the hall is a shadow of a tiger.
She points at it when Scott comes to her.
The shadow moves away.
She blames Gray.
INT. LIBRARY – NIGHT
Scott, Chad, and Haley join the others.
They leaf through all books and find groteque pictures in place of the originals.
Haley accuses Gray. He was the photographer.
INT. SCHOOL – NIGHT
Scott and Chad don’t want the women to see Blaine.
Haley yells at them and tells the women what she saw.
Kristine insists that someone has to try the front door. Scott volunteers at once.
Kristine wants someone to go to the band room for Angel.
Haley surely won’t go.
Gray demands that Haley must quit blaming him.
Kristine says it is all her fault. She brought Blaine back. ~It must be over now. All are accounted for.
Chad says he blames the janitor. Mooney wasn’t with them, and Angel wouldn’t have the strength to kill Blaine. Neither would Gray.
Since Latoya was yearbook editor she calls on them to burn these books now.
Gray volunteers to bring Angel, He leaves. The rest go to the furnace room.
INT. FURNACE ROOM – NIGHT
Janitor Mooney sits in a chair and drinks.
The group circles him.
Chad pulls him out of the chair. Threatens him.
Haley readies an arrow.
Kristine reprimands her. It isn’t necessary.
Chad interrogates Mooney.
Kristine attempts to make peace.
Janitor saw the body. He’s ready to get drunk.
Latoya wants all the yearbooks burned.
Janitor Mooney drags out a box, leftovers from the scandal.
Each of the staff thumbs through them.
Haley shows a picture of the archery teacher.
Haley is star, but Angel’s older sister was good.
Her sister’s picture shows her after drowning in a river.
Mooney says that maybe she did kill herself, and maybe she had help. He claims the furnace has not been in use for 9 years. There is no fuel.
Kristine wants everyone to stop. They have gone about everything wrong. They have to have a way out, need communication, and have to trust each other. They have ruined evidence by handling the books.
Chad reminds her that a new scandal will hurt them all.
Haley adds, if they live to see it.
They go back to library.
INT. LIBRARY – NIGHT
Scott reports that the inner and outside doors are bolted shut.
High windows string along 20 foot walls.
Scott breaks chair legs off.
He hands some to Latoya. She decides to go and burn the yearbooks.
She and Haley take them.
Scott and Chad shove high book shelves to the wall, tip them like a ladder.
Scott climbs them.
SCOTT
I’m going for help.
INT. BAND ROOM – NIGHT
Jon has the tiger head on and comes in while Angel is beating the drums.
Mistaking Jon for Gray, she makes fun of him, the former school mascot.
When Gray enters, Jon hits him with a music stand. They fight. Gray is down.
Angel tries to help.
She stabs drum sticks into Jon and runs.
Jon thrusts a batton into her chest.
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY – NIGHT
Chad worries about Angel and Gray. He heads for the band room.
Angel is dead .
Chad backs from there. He follows a trail of blood.
He meets Jon in the tiger head.
When the Jon takes it off, Chad recognizes him as the principal’s deranged son..
He calls him a loser. They fight in the hall and Jon slams him into the trophy case and beats him with a trophy. Chad lies in the hall dying.
INT. FURNACE ROOM – NIGHT
Haley rips pages and starts the wood burning.
Latoya goes to the yearbook room for solvent.
She brings it and the flames grow. They burn yearbooks.
They enter the next room for any books there and discover a box full of them.
Hayley leaves Latoya to get more wood.
Gray still in his costume but now he has on the head and lunges at her in the hall.
HALEY
You found the tiger head. Let go of me.
He slides to the floor.
Haley pulls off the head.
His neck gushes blood, slashed.
INT. LIBRARY – NIGHT
At the top of the shelving Scott breaks a window. He crawls out through it.
Below is an excavation filled with muddy water. He grasps the building trim. He gropes along toward ground, but he drops into the water. He surfaces and swims to the side. It is too muddy and slippery to get a hold.
INT. FURNACE ROOM – NIGHT
Janitor Mooney acts out drunken fury toward Latoya. He grabs books from her and hits her. She grabs his empty bottle and cracks it. He backs away.
Jon enters.
Latoya slinks back.
Jon beats Janitor to the floor.
Latoya swings the bottle at Jon.
He rams the broken glass at her neck.
She collapses.
He screams. An arrow pierces his upper thigh. Another bores into his shoulder.
Kristine loads another one in the bow.
Jon turns, staggers. He swings his arms at her.
She lets go the arrow, but he deflects it.
He closes in .
She grabs the arrow in his shoulder and swings him behind her, she slams a yearbook across his face.
He is stunned.
She lifts the bloody glass broken bottle and defends herself.
Jon limps from her and disappears into a dark passageway.
Kristine goes to Latoya and stuffs her wound.
She helps her to her feet and drags her out into the passageway. She follows the tracks Jon leaves.
At a narrow window she leans Latoya against the wall.
She squeases through the opening.
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL – NIGHT
The moon goes behind clouds. Rain begins, light rain at first, then it blows . The bulldozer lights up.
Jon begins filling the excavation.
Kristine stands dumbfounded and defeated.
She holds out empty hands.
Nothing is around her but mud.
She crawls and slides around the excavasion.
The bulldozer backs up for another run.
Kristine makes her way to Scott, reaches down, and he grabs her hand, Instead of burying him, the dirt gives him a boost.
Kristine heaves him above the pit. She slides him to safety.
She comes around the side of the bulldozer and slings two wads of mud at Jon’s head.
She climbs up and kicks Jon from the seat.
He drops into the mud.
Kristine backs up the dozer and the blade gathers Jon with the dirt. He rolls into the pit.
Kristine backs up, changes direction, and rams the building.
She rushes inside and brings Latoya outside.
Scott stands, coughs, and stumbles to her.
KRISTINE
Our chariot.
Scott helps Kristine lift Latoya into the cab and climbs in with them.
Kristine rams a gate and on to the street.
EXT. INT. HOSPITAL REST ROOM – NIGHT
The last of the grime washes off. Kristine looks at herself in the mirror. She shakes away a tear, but her lips quivver.
Hospital room Latoya is hooked up to machines.
Scott stands beside the bed.
SCOTT
Don’t expect too great an improvement.
KRISTINE
I must.
SCOTT
I mean, right away. She hasn’t opened her eyes, yet. Probably won’t know us.
Latoya’s eyes flutter.
LATOYA
Kristine.
KRISTINE
Yes. I’m here. It’s over. You can rest.
LATOYA
The Tiger Claw.
KRISTINE
Put to bed, too. No more worries.
LATOYA
My staff?
SCOTT
We’re it. Rest now.
LATOYA
Oh. I, I’ll sleep.
KRISTINE
Good night.
Scott and Kristine go to the nurse’s desk.
KRISTINE
We haven’t had any phones. Could I call my husband?
The nurse hands her a phone.
Scott walks away.
KRISTINE
Myles,….yes, it’s very late. I’m sorry. The building? I’ll give you a report when I come home….well, in a day or two, I suspect. I hear the t. v. don’t wait up for me. Love you.
Scott looks at his feet.
KRISTINE
When will the doctor operate?
SCOTT
He’ll want her to be stable.
KRISTINE
None of this was her fault. Not the scandal, the reunion, that sick maniac.
SCOTT
Or our friends.
KRISTINE
He was such a mean kid, but why, why did he turn – Scott takes her in his arms.
The alarm sounds. Nurses run to Latoya’s room.
EXT. HOTEL – DAY
Kristine’s car is at the curb.
Scott gets in behind the wheel.
The police will want statements.
KRISTINE
It’s unfair. Everything. After what we went through.
SCOTT
Unless you know somebody.
KRISTINE
You called my father.
SCOTT
He wanted to know.
They drive to a highway.
INT. HOME – NIGHT
SCOTT
Shall I wait here?
KRISTINE
I have a land line. I’ll call you.
Kristine goes inside.
Myles is mixing a drink.
He smiles as he turns. The smile fades.
MYLES
Kristine. You said a couple of days.
She explains, but Myles interrupts her. He heard the news. He wonders if the building will have a bad reputation.
Kristine frowns at him. Of course, he understands she was in danger and is exhausted.
He carries her suitcsse for her to her room. She unpacks.
The door is ajar. She sees Pamela.
She phones Scott from her room.
When he arrives, Kristine and Pamela meet at the door.
Pamela lies that she just arrived.
EXT. CEMETERY – DAY
Scott and Kristine are the last to leave the plot. She says they made a mistake.
She wants to go back to the school. They have to keep one yearbook with pictures of violence for proof that there is a killer among them.
EXT. INT. SCHOOL BUILDING – NIGHT
They sneak in at the back. Kristine and Scott retrieve evidence to prove what went on.
They have no idea if Jon is alive.
They find dead Janitor Mooney Jon stuffs in furnace.
Scott leaps on Jon. Scott, thrown aside on a pile of books, hits his head.
Kristine battles Jon alone. he socks her.
Jon pours gasoline and sets fire to the building.
He bangs Kristine against the furnace.
She kicks him and punches him.
Jon lies unable to get up.
The flames are intense.
Kristine yanks Scott to his feet.
Scott saves two yearbooks from the blaze.
EXT. INT. SCHOOL BUILDING – NIGHT
They leave through the narow opening at the back.
Principal waits there with her husband, the formere principal now retired.
She has called fire department.
Scott and Kristine tell her that her son is a murderer.
Kristine helps Scott get away.
Principal orders husband to save their son, but he refuses. He can’t move fast enough.
She claws inside through the smoke she pulls Jon from the blazing fire.
outside Jon shoves her. She collapses . Husband holds her, but she dies.
Jon fades away in the smoke.
the end
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by
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Joyce’s Scary as Hell Scene
WIL This is a good map for all the horror scenes.
INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT
Haley skirts the lockers in the dull light toward the library. She hears scraping, pauses, and quickens her pace.
The scraping seems ahead of her. She flattens against a locker.
Greg staggers from an adjacent hall.
Haley screams. surprise/shock
Greg wears his costume but now he has on the head.
HALEY
You bastard. Creeping up on me.
Haley reaches out and touches his arm.
HALEY
You found the tiger head.
He lunges at her in the hall, slams her legs against the locker..
HALEY
Let go of me.
Blood gushes from his neck.
Haley holds his head up inches, as he slides to the floor.
Haley pulls off the head.
His neck is slashed. She panics, limps on down the hallway to the library, yards from her.
Jon’s figure appears beneath an auxiliary light.
HALEY
Jon. Who’s with you? Help me.
He raises a bow with an arrow poised at her.
HALEY
No. No, no, no, you —
She throws the tiger head.
Jon sends an arrow at her neck.
Haley falls.
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Joyce’s Scary as Hell Horror scenes
WIL: I will need to work on this. Right now it is mostly action.
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL – NIGHT
The moon goes behind clouds. Rain begins, light rain at first, then it blows . The bulldozer lights up.
Jon runs the dozer, adds to the fill at the excavation.
Kristina stands dumbfounded and defeated.
She holds out empty hands.
Nothing is around her but mud.
She crawls and slides around the excavasion.
The bulldozer backs up for another run.
Kristina makes her way to Scott, reaches down into the excavation.
Scott grabs her hand.
Jon at the dozer makes another pass. Instead of burying Scott, the dirt boosts him.
Kristina heaves him above the pit. She slides him to safety.
She comes around the side of the bulldozer and slings two wads of mud at Jon’s head.
She climbs up and kicks Jon from the seat. they struggle.
He drops into the mud.
Kristina backs up the dozer. The blade gathers mud, buries Jon. He rolls into the pit.
Kristina backs up, changes direction and rams the building.
She comes down, enters the building, and brings Latoya outside.
Scott stands, coughs, and stumbles to her.
KRISTINA
Our chariot.
Scott helps Kristina put Latoya in the cab and climbs in with them.
Kristina rams through the fence gate and on to the street.
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Joyce’s Horror Emotion Scene Scary and Creepy Moments
WIL: I LEARNED THAT i CAN WRITE A HORROR SCENE AFTER ALL.
Scott and Chad leave Greg in charge of the girls and go to the gym.
INT. GYM – NIGHT
The lights are flickering and half go out.
Scott stumble on something, Blaine’s feet.
SCOTT
He’s crushed. Lift the bleachers.
Chad gropes in the dark to yank the controls to raise the bleachers.
The motor runs, but nothing goes up.
CHAD
He’s a goner. No use pulling on him.
He takes out his cell phone.
CHAD
I’ll call police.
No signal.
CHAD
Gimme yours.
SCOTT
I left it in the hotel.
CHAD
Figures. You stupid dolt. You’ll never make a living.
SCOTT
Yeah. Doctors have it tough right now.
CHAD
Doctor? Can you tell if Blaine’s alive?
SCOTT
He’s warm.
CHAD
We have to lift the weight.
SCOTT
If we raise the bleachers manually, he may bleed to death. It could be stopping the flow as it is.
CHAD
I say, Go for it.
They try to lift the bleachers manually,and move the section of bleachers a few inches.
Scott pulls on the legs. They are bloody stumps.
He drops hold of them.
Chad bends, sick and in disgust.
SCOTT
Is there a light on your phone?
Chad shines it around and back to the basketball net.
Blaine’s bleeding body hangs from it, missing legs
Scott holds the light as Chad cuts the body down.
In the doorway Haley stands and screams. She staggers to the hall and sinks down.
Down the hall is a shadow of a crouching tiger. The shadow moves away.
She points at it when Scott comes to her. There’s nothing there.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by
Joyce Davidson.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by
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Joyce’s Horror Emotion Scene
WIL: The plot is becoming easier to manage.
Picture: Blaine, a teenager, jumping for a basket.
GREG
There you go, buddy. One more jump like that and Lawtry Falls, national champs. but you messed up.
On the wall opposite a piece of wall slips off.
Greg turns, but he, doesn’t investigate.
GREG
All right, already, I didn’t give you the finger. It’s the pits. But it’s all your own fault, Buddy. You let us down, the whole town. They cut you down to size. You deserve everything they got against you.
Jon watches him from the peephole..
Greg: opens the next locker and finds another annual.
Picture: one of Blaine’s arms is missing and red streaks come from the shoulder.
Greg hesitates at the next locker, grabs it and jerks it open to a third picture.
Picture: both of Blaine’s arms are gone.
Greg slams the door shut. With his back to the locker he turns a page.
Picture: The action shot has been altered. Both legs and arms are missing from Blaine’s body.
Greg scrams out of there.
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Joyce’s Horror Emotion Scene
WIL: This will be enhanced by sound and lighting.
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL – DAY
A sign :
Commercial Property For Sale
SOLD. Trackmar Construction Company
~A new chain link fence closes in bulldozers parked behind buildings across a muddy field which may have been for baseball or soccer in recent years.
INT. COMPUTER ROOM – DAY
Obsolete computers and printers sit on tables. a silouhette of JON, crouching in a lighted corner before a conputer screen. His face isn’t visible.
Picture on computer:
“Find a yearbook”.
“Lawtry Falls Claw” annual appears. Pages turn, zoom on the yearbook staff. Colpied, saved in another window, photo-shopped with red like blood dripping from them. Printer spits out a copy. Jon reaches for it and envelopes fall to the floor.
He picks them up.
Envelope: Mrs. Kristina Smith Trackmar
4895 Zoar Bend
His thumb obscures the rest.
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Joyce’s Readable Outline
WIL: I’m not doing this right, but I am going on with it. For me this is a practgice script, not marketable.
EXT. INT. HOME – DAY
New, expensive neighborhood house with sign in the yard. “Model Home” sold.
A BMW parks in the driveway. KRISTINA steps out and walks to the mailbox, carries into the house several letters and an 8X10 mailer.
She rips open an envelope with a black border. Invitation to return to home town high school reunion.
Kristina looks puzzled and somewhat disturbed.
A mysterious app signature shows up on phone and computer.
Her husband MYLES comes home with interior designer PALMER.
They are deciding on new decor for the next row of houses.
Kristina wants to talk to husband privately.
Palmer leaves.
She wants to know why they have to move into new houses all the time. She wants a home and to settle down with a family.
He promises he will after he hits it big with his construction company. Why does she bring this up now?
She shows the invitation.
Suggests that she go to home town and not make a big deal about it. He won’t go with her. Too busy. He will call her.
EXT. INT. CAR (MOVING) – DAY
LATOYA Yearbook editor staff on ten years ago receives same invitation. She is upset.
They are entering the town. Kristina swerves to miss a man on the road and muddies him.
Latoya tells her to pull over.
BLAINE gets into car.
They take him to room at hotel to clean up.
They compare invitations, all hyave black borders.
Kristina suggests they party without going.
EXT. INT. HOTEL- DAY
Marquee says reunion.
Blaine show the yearbook to her with insulting pictures and comments.
Flashback. Entire yearbook staff in room with board of education.
They protest innocence, but they take the blame.
BACK TO SCENE
That isn’t all Blaine shows them. There is a picture of him. He’s slam dunking, but the page has red streaks around it.
Latoya shows her yearbook. It also has ugly pictures and one of her holding a book, but it has a grotesque figure drawn on it.
Why didn’t Kristina get one?
They decide they have to go downstairs to the reunion.
INT. HOTEL BALLROOM – NIGHT
People mingle around tables set for dinner.
When Blaine walks past, guests part and stare at him.
Latoya gives them a look back. She sympathizes with him.
CHAD and GREG cross the room to the three.
Greg slaps Blaine on the back Chad kisses Kristina.
She shrinks. She is married.
When they sit there are place cards for all of the yearbook staff from years ago.
They received similar desicrated yearbooks. One says the yearbooks that had to be destroyed years ago and still available in the school.
They want to go.
Principal speaks and says school has been sold to be renovated for apartments. Says to stay out of there.
Kristina goes out to phone Myles. Yes, he knew it was sold. His company bought it. He can’t talk now. Maybe, she can check it out while she is there.
Blaine should know these things. He lives in town, never went anywhere after losing the big game. Should have had a scholarship and gone pro. Class president Scott goes between them.
EXT. INT. HIGH SCHOOL – NIGHT
The group goes inside. Lights are on. Somewhere down the halls is giggling and slamming of lockers. Chad holds group back and offers to investigate, but before he moves, a couple of teenagers runoutand slam the door as they go.
The lights flicker.
Where do they start?
Chad will organize. Baline laughs. He isn’t impressed.
They go to the library first.
HALEY blames Latoya for messing up as editor.
ANGEL digs Haley about her second in the class position.
HALEY
I should have been valedictorian.
ANGEL
And me, I’d be a better prom queen than –
SCOTT
Forget it. Nevermind them, Kristina.
GREG
And I missed being Queen of May, so what and who cares about some old yearbooks. It was sttled years ago.
CHAD
Yeah. Here’s mine. Take a look.
They circle a picture in the book. Chad is down with the goal post wrapped around his neck and body.
GREG
Phnoto edit. You can’t be worried about that. It’s a joke.
Chad grabs him.
CHAD
Maybe youthink it’s funny. Took youlong enough to show how dealous you are.
GREG
I didn’t print that. Cripes, I’ve had plenty of chances to get back at you.
KRISTINA
Why, Greg?
GREG
Nevermind.
Lights flicker and go out. Auxiliary lights come on, but they are dim.
BLAINE
I’m out of here. We won’t find anything tonight.
He goes.
They hear his footsteps down the hall.
CHAD
We know where there’s one room always bright and shiny.
SCOTT
Next to the yearbook room.
ANGEL
The pot room.
CHAD
And I have a bag or two.
KRISTINA
I’ll catch up with Blaine.
ANGEL
Still Miss Priss, go on home, then. Nice seeing you – aging.
Kristina leaves them as they head the opposite direction.
Loud banging. They keep walking. More banging from a different direction. They get to the furnace room.
Chad shares his stash.
JANITOR comes in.
JANITOR
What. You creeps. Gonna get me fired.
ANGEL
Well, Mr. Mooney. Let’s call the cops.
HALEY
He won’t. Now we’re old enough to slap his disgusting hands. Keep them to yourself, old man.
JANITOR
You came for them books. I seen them pictures. A lot of folks wanted to run you out of town.
SCOT
You saw copies? Where?
JANITOR
All over the schoolhouse in lockers, on shelves under bleechers in the gym.
Chad stomps his joint.
CHAD
Lets go. We can canvas the school. We’ll take hall lockers first.
They go into the hall and start opening and slamming locker doors.
Kristina and Blaine join them.
KRISTINA
Blaine was halfway down the steet. Then we couldn’t get back inside. only one door is open.
GREG
Mooney found books all over the place. You each take a hall and check it.
BLAINE
You’re kidding. We can’t find all of them. It takes a single copy to steam up the town again and I got nowhere else to go.
CHAD
Look in the gym, then.
GREG
I’ll search the boy’s locker room.
KRISTINA
Perhaps, we should work together, two by two. Latoya, come with me.
SCOTT
I will. You know, one guy and one gal.
CHAD
Oh, sure.
Ketrina and Scott are moving away.
CHAD
Haley, partner with me.
HALEY
As long as you never tell a soul.
They go another direction.
LATOYA
The library is a likely place.
ANGEL
It’s yours. I’ll be in the band room.
LATOYA
But, Angel —
ANGEL
If Mooney bothers you just punch him out.
LATOYA
He messed with you, too.
ANGEL
Until I threatened to smash his head with my batton.
INT. GYMNASIUM – NIGHT
The bleachers are folded up against the walls.
Blaine dribbles a ball, down the court and tosses it in. He plays a frenzied one-man throw and retrieve.
One eye watches him from the scoreboard booth.
Blaine stops playing, shrugs, and feints, dribbles to make a long shot.
The ball bounces ofF the rim. He snags it and goes back.
INT. SCHOOL – NIGHT
Montage:
Kristina and Scott on opposite sides of a hall banging lockers open and closed.
Latoya searches in the library.
Angel in the bandroom beats on a drumset.
Chad and Haley pass a trophy display next to girls’ locker room.
Greg is in boys’ locker room.
INT. BOYS’ LOCKER ROOM – NIGHT
Nothing shows up in the first row of lockers except his old mascot costume. He removes his jacket and puts on the tiger suit. He opens another row fast. No head for the costume.
He opens the last row where there is a yearbook and a picture.
Picture: Blaine, a teenager, jumping for a basket.
Greg talks to himself. He opens the next and finds the same.
Picture: one of Blaine’e arms is missing and red streaks come from the shoulder.
Greg hesitates at the next locker, grabs it and jerks it open to a third picture.
Picture: both of Blaine’s arms are gone.
Greg slams the door shut. He leafs through the yearbook to sports.
The action shot has been changed. Both legs and arms are missing from Blaine’s body.
Greg scrams out of there.
INT. GIRL’S LOCKER ROOM — NIGHT
The lockers stand open and Haley is in a small office, big glass window.
An eye is visible at a peep hole.
In a closet Haley finds a bow and arrows.
She sits at the desk and goes through the drawers. Old papers and grade books remain, but at the bottom of a drawer is a yearbook.
Suddenly Chad’s deep voice scares her.
Chad laughs.
HALEY
Where are you, dummy? Okay, spying on me. Sick Creep.
CHAD
My pocket money for lunch for years.
Chad runs into the room.
HALEY
We had a view to the boys’ locker room.
CHAD
Why? You’re rich.
HALEY
No charge.
She stands and chair rises and pulls her back.
HALEY
I’m stuck.
Chad tries to lift her.
Super glue. He takes out a pocket knife and cuts the back of her dress, puts a hole in the center and draws it over her head.
INT. LIBRARY – NIGHT
Scott and Kristina carry in yearbooks they found.
Latoya shows the few she has.
Half of them group chalk everything up to a joker, but which one is it?
Greg gasps, plops in and on a chair with Blaine’s pictures.
INT. GYM – NIGHT
Blaine takes another long shot.
Two knives swish and pierce the ball. It flops.
Blaine turns, but the thrower is in the dark.
BLAINE
You didn’t have do that. Always joking. This has gone far enough, buddy.
A slash. A scream. Blaine drops to his knees, bleeding. He falls on his face.
A whirring noise precedes a crash as bleachers rumble down over the body.
A silouette of a crouching tiger moves into the darkness.
INT. GIRLS’ LOCKER ROOM – NIGHT
Haley and Chad react to the scream and run. She carries the bow and arrows. Chad brings the yearbook.
INT. LIBRARY – NIGHT
All stand in the hall outside. Greg shows the picture in the yearbook.
Scott and Chad leave Greg in charge of the girls and go to the gym.
INT. GYM – NIGHT
The lights are flickering and half go out.
Chad and Scott try to raise the bleachers at the controls, but it won’t budge.
They stumble on Blaine’s feet and try to lift the bleachers manually.
Chad holds the bottom. §Scott pulls of Blaine’s feet. No body, just legs.
They shine a light.
Blaine’s bleeding Body is hanging from the basketball net.
Chad cuts him down.
Haley stands in the doorway and screams.
She staggers to the hall and drops down.
Down the hall is a shadow of a tiger.
She points at it when Scott comes to her.
The shadow moves away.
She blames Greg.
INT. LIBRARY – NIGHT
Scott, Chad, and Haley join the others.
They leaf through all books and find groteque pictures in place of the originals. Haley accuses Greg. He was the photographer.
INT. SCHOOL – NIGHT
Scott and Chad don’t want the women to go see Blaine.
Haley yells at them and tells the women what she saw.
Kristina insists that someone has to try the front door. Scott volunteers at once.
Kristina wants someone to go to the band room for Angel.§Angel.
Greg will.
Haley surely won’t go.
Greg demands that Haley must quit blaming him. He leaves.
Kristina says it is her fault. She brought Blaine back. ~It must be over now. We are all accounted for.
Chad says he blames the janitor. Mooney wasn’t with them, and Angel wouldn’t have the strength to kill Blaine. Neither would Greg.
Since Latoya was yearbook editor she calls on them to burn these books now.
Greg voluteers to bring Angel,
The rest go to the furnace room together.
INT. FURNACE ROOM – NIGHT
Janitor Mooney sits in a chair and drinks.
The group circles him.
Chad pulls him out of the chair. Threatens him.
Haley pulls out an arrow.
Kristina reprimands her. It isn’t necessary.
Chad interrogates Mooney.
Kristina attempts to make peace.
Janitor saws the body. He’s ready to get drunk.
Latoya wants all the yearbooks burned.
Janitor Mooney drags out a box.
These books are left overs from the scandal.
Each one thumbs through.
Haley shows a picture of the archery teacher.
She starred, but Angel’s older sister was good.
Her sister’s picture shows her drowned in a body of water.
Mooney says that maybe she did and maybe she had help.
He claims the furnace has not been in use for 9 years. There is no fuel.
Kristina wants everyone to stop. They have gone about everything wrong. They have to have a way out, need communication, and have to trust each other. They have ruined evidence by handling the books.
Chad reminds her that a new scandal will hurt them all.
Haley adds, if they live to see it.
They go back to library.
INT. LIBRARY – NIGHT
Scott reports that the inner and outside doors are bolted shut.
There are high windows along 20 foot walls.
Scott breaks chaiar legs off.
He hands some to Latoya and tells her to burn the yearbooks.
She and Haley take them.
Scott and Chad push high shelves to the wall, tipped like a ladder.
SCOTT
I’m going for help.
Chad worries about Angel and Greg. He heads for the band room.
Angel is dead from a batton thrust to her chest.
Chad backs from there. He follows a trail of blood.
He meets the monster in the tiger head.
When the monster takes it off, Chad recognizes him.
He calls him a loser. They fight in the hall and The monster beats him into the trophy case and with a trophy. Chad lies in the hall dying.
INT. FURNACE ROOM – NIGHT
Haley rips pages and starts the wood burning.
Latoya goes to the yearbook room for solvent.
She brings it and the flames grow. They burn yearbooks.
They enter the next room for any books there and discover a box full of them.
Hayley leaves Latoya to get more wood.
Greg still in his costume but now he has on the head and lunges at her in the hall.
HALEY
You found the tiger head. Let go of me.
He slides to the floor.
Haley pulls off the head.
His neck is slashed.
INT. LIBRARY – NIGHT
At the top of the shelving Scott breaks a window. He crawls out through it.
Below is an excavation filled with muddy water. He grasps the building trim. He gropes along toward ground, but he drops into the water. He surfaces and swims to the side. It is too muddy and slippery to get a hold.
INT. FURNACE ROOM – NIGHT
Janitor Mooney acts out drunken fury toward Latoya. He grabs books from her and hits her. She grabs his empty bottle and cracks it. He backs away.
Monster enters.
Latoya recognizes him.
Monster beats Janitor to the floor.
Latoya swings the bottle at the monster.
He rams the broken glass at her neck.
She collapses.
He screams. An arrow pierces his upper thigh. Another bores into his shoulder.
Kristina sets another one in the bow.
Monster turns, staggers. He swings his arms at her.
She lets go the arrow, but he deflects it.
He is close.
She grabs the arrow in his shoulder and swings him behind her, she slams a yearbook across his face.
He is stunned.
She lifts the bloody glass broken bottle and defends herself.
Monster limps from her and disappears into a dark passageway.
Kristina goes to Laatoya and stuffs her wound.
She helps her to her feet and drags her out into the passageway. She follows the tracks the monster leaves.
At a narrow window she leans Latoya against the wall.
She squeases through the opening.
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL – NIGHT
The moon goes behind clouds. Rain begins, light rain at first, then it blows . The bulldozer lights up.
The monster begins filling the excavation.
Kristina stands dumbfounded and defeated.
She holds out empty hands.
Nothing is around her but mud.
She crawls and slides around the excavasion.
The bulldozer backs up for another run.
Kristina makes her way to Scott, reaches down, and he grabs her hand,
Instead of burying him, the dirt gives him a boost.
Kristina heaves him above the pit. She slides him to safety.
She comes around the side of the bulldozer and slings two wads of mud at his head.
She climbs up and kicks him from the seat.
He drops into the mud.
Kristina backs up the dozer and the blade gathers the monster with the dirt. He rolls into the pit.
Kristina backs up,changes direction and rams the building.
She brings Latoya outside.
Scott stands, coughs, and stumbles to her.
KRISTINA
Our chariot.
Scott helps Kristina put Latoya in the cab and climbs in with them.
Kristina rams through a gate and on to the street.
EXT. INT. HOSPITAL REST ROOM – NIGHT
The last of the grime washes off. Kristina looks at herself in the mirror. She shakes away a tear, but her lips quivver.
Hospital room
Latoya is hooked up to machines.
Scott stands beside the bed.
SCOTT
Don’t expect too much improvement-
KRISTINA
..No, I must.
SCOTT
I mean, right away. She hasn’t opened her eyes, yet. Probably won’t know us.
Latoya’s eyes flutter.
LATOYA
Kristina.
KRISTINA
Yes. I’m here. It’s over. You can rest.
LATOYA
Tiger Claw.
KRISTINA
Put to bed, too. No more worries.
LATOYA
My staff?
SCOTT
We’re it.
LATOYA
Oh. I, I’ll sleep now.
KRISTINA
Good night.
Scott and Kristina go to the nurse’s desk.
KRISTINA
We haven’t had any phones. Could I call my husband?
The nurse hands her a phone.
Scott walks away.
KRISTINA
Myles,….yes, it’s very late. I’m sorry. The building? I’ll give you a report when I come home….well, in a day or two, I suspect. I hear the t. v. don’t wait up for me. Love you.
Scott looks at his feet.
SCOTT
You still have a room at the hotel.
KRISTINA
When will the doctor operate.
SCOTT
He’ll want her to be stable.
KRISTINA
Noneof this was her fault. Not the scandal, the reunion.
SCOTT
Or our friends.
KRISTINA
He was such a mean kid, but why, why did he turn –
Scott takes her in his arms.
The alarm sounds. Nurses run to Latoya’s room.
EXT. HOTEL – DAY
Kristina’s car is at the curb.
Scott gets in behind the wheel.
KRISTINA
It’s unfair. Everything. §After what we went through the police will want statements.
SCOTT
Unless you know somebody.
KRISTINA
You called my father.
SCOTT
He wanted to know.
They drive to a highway.
INT. HOME – NIGHT
SCOTT
Shall I wait here?
KRISTINA
I have a land line. I’ll call you.
Kristina goes inside.
Myles is mixing a drink.
He smiles as he turns. The smile fades.
MYLES
Kristina. You said a couple of days.
She explains, but Myles interrupts her. He heard the news. He wonders if the building will have a bad reputation.
Kristina. Frowns at him. Of course, he understands she was in danger and must be tired.
He carries her suitcsse for her to her room. She unpacks.
The door is ajar. She sees Pamela.
She phones Scott from her room.
When he arives, Kristina and Pamela meet at the door.
Pamela lies that she just arrived.
EXT. CEMETERY – DAY
Scott and Kristina are the last to leave the plot.She believes they made a mistake.
She wants to go back to the school for one yearbook with pictures of violence.
They sneak in at the back.
Monster pours gasoline and sets fire to the building and gets too close.
Scott saves kristina.
Principal arrives with husband. She orders him to save their son, but He can’t move fast. She claws through the smoke to pull out monster and succumbs. Monster slinks away in the smoke.
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Joyce’s Monster
WIL: I have to confine my monster to the horror genre or it will be a thriller instead.
A. Who is your monster and what is their terror? A former student, son of principal, and a transfer student from private schools after his expulsions, has no other goals in life but to kill and the reunion if a perfect setup for him. He is strong and dedicated.
Powers? Strength and hate
Limitations? Fails to kill all of them at the time of assault.
Weaknesses? Deranged.
Plan/Purpose/Appetite? Only success in life to kill.
.B. Sequence the reveals. 1. In background of picture he can be seen in the yearbook.
2. After the janitor is killed, he finishes the job. The others didn’t burn the body..
3. Football captain confronts him in mascot suit when mascot is killed.
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<div>Joyce’s:</div>
wil:WRITING “CATCH-UP” HELPS. It makes you sort out the elements quickly.
ACT 1 — <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”> Atmosphere of Evil established: An invitation to return to home town, but it is edged in black •Protagonist is puzzled and somewhat disturbed. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>A mysterious app signature shows up on phone and computer. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Her husband suggests that she go to home town and not make a big deal about it. He won’t go with her.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Connect with the characters: Yearbook staff on ten years ago all receive them.
• At the reception, the characters are warned not to do it: Principal speaks and warns not to go to old school. it is being renovated. Many insist. They go
a tour, but the staff members don’t leave.
•<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Denial of Horror: they search for damning yearbooks, find one with horrific picture of killing. Someone
playing a joke.
• Safety taken away: Janitor in boiler room is suspicious.
ACT 2
Separate and search for yearbooks.
Find one killed like a picture. He is favorite basketball player of their class. The moveable stands in the gym crash down on him. They try to release him, but the lights on on auxiliary and the automatic left isn’t working. They kick off a section of seats and discover his throat has been slashed.<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”> MIDPOINT
Full pursuit: They go two by two for safety. Pro goes with the class mascot. He finds his old tiger costume and puts it on. They search for hidden yearbooks.<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Two others find a book. It has a picture of the mascot covered in blood. They run to find him. Pro loses sight of the mascot. Two scream when they find him lying in a pool of blood. They turn him over and his head rolls off inside the tiger head costume.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Three band together.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Another is attacked, an innocent victim, but monster is not finished and leaves. She is badly hurt in the library.
Terrorized, men go after the janitor.<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>ACT 3- FULL OUT
HORROR
• Monster: Kills janitor. The majorette blames Pro for the killings. She was editor of the yearbook and valeditorian. she won everything. majorette won’t stay with her. Instead, she runs to the band room. On a keyboard she sees her picture when she led the band, but she is all in red blood.<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”><b class=””>The drum sounds Theothers find her in the bandroom. she wears the drum major helmut, but the baton is embedded in her chest.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”><b class=””>Monster kills any who are alone and leaves a picture.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”><b class=””>Pro tries to hide with girl who is wounded.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”><b class=””>Two plot to burn down the school. they go to Janitor’s supply room and find flammable materials. the fire is contained, at first. One goes toadd to the blaze. Monster kills each one.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”><b class=””>ACT 4
Pro excapes with wounded friend. The Principal tries to stop them. She is sure he is the monster, but he is killed, too.<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”><b class=””>She calls husband and says she will come home when friend is out of danger. Friend dies.
<b class=”” style=”font-weight: bold;”>She slips away to go home. Sees husband making out with intgrior designer woman and drives back to home town. She sets fire to the building. Monster attacks her, but she fights. He leaves her unconscious.
Saved by firemen, she escapes.
Monster comes out of smoke holding a yearbook.
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Joyce’s Horror Plot structure lesson 4
WIL: I have to listen to my own ideas at first to get an outline and not second guess them.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>4-ACT STRUCTURE:
ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
<b class=””>• Atmosphere of Evil established: An invitation to return to home town, but it is edged in black.
• Connect with the characters: <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>A mysterious app signature shows up on phone and computer. Yearbook staff on ten years ago all receive them.
• The characters are warned not to do it: Principal speaks and warns not to go to old school. They go on a tour, but they don’t leave.
• Denial of Horror: they search for damning yearbooks, find one with horrific picture of killing. Someone is playing a joke.
<b class=””>• Safety taken away: Janitor in boiler room is suspicious.
<b class=””>ACT 2
Separate and search for yearbooks.
Find one killed like a picture.
MIDPOINT
Full pursuit: One is attacked , but monster is not finished and leaves, She is badly hurt.
Terrorized, men go after the janitor.
<b style=”background-color: transparent; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>ACT 3- FULL OUT HORROR
• Monster: Kills janitor. He kills any who are alone and leaves a picture.
Pro tries to hide with one who is wounded.
Others are trapped. Two plot to burn down the school.
Monster stops them and killes them.
ACT 4
Pro excapes with wounded friend. Slips away to go home. Sees husband with another woman and goes back. She sets fire to the building. The monster burns. His son emeges from the smoke. He holds a yearbook.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by
Joyce Davidson.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by
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Joyce’s Characters for Horror
WIL: Real life situations and characters blown out of proportion work in your subconscious until brainstorming yanks them out and you have victims and villains.
REUNION: SOCIAL GROUP- AT SOCIAL EVENT.: High school graduates who once belonged to a secret club return to search for damaging evidence against them during a reunion so that nothing is uncovered when the H. S. is turned into a mental hospital.
DYING PATTERN: One by one until they band together.
1.Basketball star: He took the lead from another player.
2.Salutatorian: Bumped from valedictorian by
3.Rich girl: Her father, the judge, makes sure she is top of the class.
4.Football captain: Valedictorian’s boyfriend. He is a flash in the pan after high school, so she dumps him.
5.Son of the vice principal: he is the group safety net. Nobdy can touch them if they are found to be doing anything illegal.
6. Year book editor: mistakes in the yearbook might not have been errors, but intentional.
7. Thespian: starred in every play for two years.
8. Twin sister of one of them who is in the group, but does not belong.
The monster needs to silence them all.
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<div>Crafting the Monster</div>
WIL: The monster has to be multi-faceted and yet is restricted..
Their Terror: destroy anybody who did not help the son or those who ridiculed him.
Their Mystery: The monster uses a daughter to assist in avenging her brother’s death.
Their Fear Provoking Appearance: Deranged, ruthless, and abnormally strong
Their Rules:only aim at guilty ones who deserve to die.
Their Mythology:Mental illness
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This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by
Joyce Davidson.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by
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Lesson One. Watching a horror film
WIL: I learned that urgency, tension and fear must be maintained and grow to the end.
Movie: THERE’S SOMEONE IN THE HOUSE
I chose this quickly and found one of my concepts is similar to the environment and the motivation of the “monster”. #1 It is difficult to find him fearsome. He did terrorize victims.#2. Each victim was alone. There is a danger for killer’s actions to become to predictable.#3 The victims seldom fought back, but the killer was realistic.They mourned their friends more than they feared that they were next. #4.Monster/villain could have had a stronger motive. #5. Romantic scenes did little to rev the tension.#6. The environment was realistic and not scary in itself. #7 Everyone has a secret, but the members of this group were supposed to have bad secrets. This required some back story revelations.
My concept involves a group of returning alums to a reunion.
When at a reunion a group of fromer students tour the old high school before it is opened as a hospital for the mentally ill, but they are trapped inside with a killer among them.
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Joyce Davidson
2. I have written 10.
3. I hope the class will help me lift my concepts and struggles to a new level.
4. Something unique is I am older than your grandmother.
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GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I, JOYCE DAVIDSON, agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
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Joyce’s Anticipatory dialogue.
WIL this is an excellent lesson to vary the dialogue that creates the conflict and suspense.
I want to create movies that are memorable and actors want to perform.
The scenes with the secondary antagonists are stronger and the protagonist has a journey filled with unexpected danger.
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Joyce’s banter dialogue.
WIL: I thought banter was distracting. It isn’t. It’s useful.
To create memorable scripts actors want to perofrm.
INT. BEACH HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
Delaney wrings out her shirt tail and squints at Kevin. Her glasses are gone.
Kevin opens his bag. With every thing in water-proof zipped, inner bags his wrapped clothes are dry.
DELANEY
You can leave now.
KEVIN
No other rooms. Would you like dry pajamas?
DELANEY
I would like you to get lost. Find yourself another hotel.
She goes into a bathroom.
Kevin stands by the window, watches the clerk talk to a uniformed man, then leave.
§Kevin closes the curtains. He tosses dry pajamas on a bed and stows his suitcase in several different places.
He taps on the bathroom door.
KEVIN
The clerk may suspect, but if we appear to be tourists –
DELANEY
.. barely acquainted tourists.
KEVIN
That works. Police may ignore us.
She opens the bathroom door and steps out wrapped in towels.
Bathroom
Kevin goes inside. Her clothes are hanging everywhere. He skirts around them to brush his teeth.
When he exits, his mouth hangs open.
Delaney wears his pajamas and sits combing her wet hair. Her glasses are missing. She is lovely.
Kevin coughs.
KEVIN
I should apologize.
DELANEY
An urgent reaction in the line of duty, I’m sure. Just don’t let it happen again.
She snaps out the light.
KEVIN
What? The pajamas?
DELANEY
That kiss. If you can call it that.
KEVIN
I can’t see in the dark.
DELANEY
Now you know how I feel. A fish in the bay is wearing my glasses.
Kevin stubs his foot.
KEVIN
You moved my case.
DELANEY
And I tossed you a blanket with a pillow. Good night.
KEVIN
Sweet dreams.
DELANEY
Don’t even go there.
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Joyce’s Lesson I. Dialogue
WIL I love the different structures, but I can’t seem to go through the entire script. I become bogged down.
I want to create memorable movie scripts which will attract actors.
I have a perfect opportunity to use dialogue in which two people are thinking in opposite ways and intend to pursue this more. I also have two characters who already use banter. I will go back and add intrigue to some of the obvious dialogue but doing the opposite..
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Joyce’s Module 7 #5 Elevating dialogue
WIL: For me this is the most fun. I can’t forget my poetry, short story, novel, and play experiences.
…to create memorable movie scripts that actors want to perform.
HUNTER
1. The big, “I shouldn’t have done it,” speech. Coming up.
2. He told her not to nag.
3 .Othelly went to the deli and sliced the beef.
LAUREN
1. You’re utterly ruining his speech.
2. You’re as funny as smoked sausage.
3. Maybe you spoke unwisely and unwell.
DELANEY
1. No one can ruin Shakespeare.
KEVIN
1. Or decompose it.
2. Right. but “All the world’s a stage.”
DELANEY
1. All of you. Shut up.
HUNTER
1. How poetic.
PROFESSOR
Please. Allow Othello to make amends.
LAUREN
1. Over her body? I’m going to cry.
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Joyce’s Module 7 #4 (previous assignment was numbered wrong) Elevating scenes.
WIL: this is another lesson which should be repeated often. I will post a few changes.
To create memorable movie scripts that actors want to perform.
Characters have already been changed with betrayals, uncomfortable situations, revealed purposes that clash, and hidden romantic feelings for the two main characters.
The real instigator of trouble is revealed in Act four, a surprise.
The goals of the protagonist don’t change much, but her fellow graduate student experiences a welcome a turnaround at the conclusion.
The professor has ability to recover what he lost but sadly won’t teach again.
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Joyce’s Module 7 #4, Elevating emotional scenes.
WIL: There are 154 emotions mentioned in the Holy Bible and Jesus is recorded to have reacted with 39 of them. Emotions stir our feelings and will cause strong reactions.
I want to create memorable movie scripts that actors want to perform.
When the right thing is the wrong thing if these two are going to get together. Delaney has been betraying Kevin. It is becoming more difficult. He has gone against his principles to search for Cardenio and Professor’s book manuscript. Kevin is ready to quit now that they have a script.
DELANEY
I’m going back, Kevin. I have to try.
Kevin doesn’t look at her.
KEVIN
Suit yourself.
The man she gave the clues to is the enemy and kidnaps her.
Act four
They come home failures, but the professor has recovered somewhat and Lauren is his caretaker.
Failure becomes success when Kevin and Delaney go on a new quest.
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<div>Joyce’s Module 7 #2 Reveals.</div>
WIL: This sorts out the high points.
I want to create memorable movie scripts that actors want to perform.
Act. One
A. What is the DEMAND? Professor has a manuscript to publish, which has leaked to a large group against his theory.
B. What is being REVEALED? The group threatens the College President of Graduate Studies, and introduces a man who will stop the publication.
C. How is it presented DRAMATICALLY? The professor becomes unconscious when the humidifier in rare books is vandalized. The manuscript is already on its way.
Act. two.
A. Kevin and Delaney accept the job of finding the manuscript and the lost plays.
B. They follow a clue to Michigan and learn about the connection between Cardenio and Don Quixote.
C. They barely make it to Spain on a boat when the captain has them thrown overboard.
Act. three
A. They find the theater where Cardenio was last performed and find scripts. They are working together and become fond of each other.
B. A fire starts and they escape to find the woman who has received the manuscript in a cabin in the mountains.
C. Bragg captures Delaney and the manuscript.
Act. 4
A. Kevin learns that Delaney was helping Bragg until he kidnapped her. Now she knows he is working for money, not to show evidence of the real Shakespeare.
B. They escape from Bragg on a gondola , but Bragg fights Kevin and Delaney throws the pages into the valley. where Bragg falls.
C. Delaney and Kevin have becomes adversaries now and when they come home, Cardenio has been reworked. All was wasted, but Kevin has found excitement in this kind of search. He goes to look for the Francis Bacon evidence of authorship. Ther is Delaney in the next assigned airplane seat.
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Joyce’s Module 7 #1 Characters
WIL Elevating characters showed me which ones were most important and how to give the protagonist the spotlight.
To create memorable movie scripts that actors want to perform.
I completely changed the female supporting character to the protagonist and gave the supporting role an arc.
I strengthened the antagonist and decided I must concentrate to increase the antagonist role and not have too many possible villains.
Delaney is not ugly, but she’s overshadowed by Lauren, who will never be an intellectual.
Delaney becomes attractive, and Lauren becomes caring and finds that is her true calling.
Kevin gets his fill of being neutral when the conflict heats. He also seems to have a chance with Delaney until he bungles it. He comes to the conclusion that he has to take a stand. Doling so give him new goals.
Professor is not defeated although he never completely recovers from an attack on his life. He also comes to a conclusion to let the past bury itself.
Bragg, one antagonist, works his devious tricks for the money. Even that isn’t enough to keep him on the job.
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Joyce’s lesson #5: exchange
WIL: Life events took away my will to write–three heartbreakers in a row. I can’t exchange.
Vision: To create memorable movie scripts that actors want to perform.
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Joyce’s lesson #4 structure.
vision: To create memorable movie scripts that actors want to perform.
WIL: This list will have to be ongoing for me.
There is so much depth in this assignment even if I complete it fast, I will want to review it later.I have early scenes that require setups for more dynamic reveals later.
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Joyce’s Cliche Busting
To create memorable films that actors want to perform.
WIL: I changed several scenes and it is stronger.
The romantic scenes were too common and needed to be elevated and moved.
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<div>Joyce’s Module 6: writing the second draft lesson 2</div>
…to create memorable movies that actors want to perform.
WIL: Much of the problems should improve in execution after action passes. Even in this second draft the dialogue is too heavy.
A. Generic Lead Characters: Because of their opposing goals they are different from most characters.
B. Weak protagonist or antagonist. The antagonist grows more sinister and the protagonist rises out of his initial character to fight him.
C. Protagonist Too Good or Antagonist Too Bad. NO.
D. Weak character intros. Yes. Needs work.
E. Characters not in action. about 75 percent.
F. Protagonist journey not strong. to them it is.
G. All the characters seem the same. no. All have separate personalities.
H. Lead characters not present. Always one of them is in each scene.
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Joyce’s Module 6; writing second draft
…to create memorable movies that actors want to perform.
WIL: Go back to gaps in the outline early to continue the pace and not forget your initial intentions.
1. Some parts of the outline I had repeated and some sections were marked for further brainstorming.
2. The first act is slow.
3. The protagonist at the beginning is reluctant and by the third and fourth acts he must grow stronger.
4. Changes I have made to the outline are more interesting to me.
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Joyce’s first Draft of first Act.
Vision: to create memorable movie scripts that actors want to perform.
WIL: Away with the old ways and continue to use the new ways.
I touch type on a keyboard smaller than the old typewriters and make multiple errors. It is a challenge to speed write when your fat fingers make mistakes, but I am letting go more.
In my outline I introduced a group of. grad students. Now, as I do the first draft, I am able to pinpoint the protagonist. In the next scene the antagonist appears. So, I will soon come to the inciting incident and the journey and the end of Act One.
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Joyce’s Speed writing.
vision :to create memorable movies that actors want to perform.
WIL: I have more hang-ups to let go, but I am enjoying the speed writing.
Rule 1: Choose speed over quality for EARLY drafts.
I was adding too much to my outline, but now it will smooth.
Rule 2: Master writing in drafts.
A 1st draft keeps writers on track.
Rule 3: Keep yourself empowered!
I encourage myself. I can do this, mistakes and all
Rule 4: Allow yourself to start (or continue) without all the answers.
I chose a topic which I had pursued for many years.
Rule 5: Keep moving. Don’t ever allow yourself to stall out.
October was filled with sad anniversaries. It was difficult to break away when I and loved ones were hurting. so now I’m catching up fast.
Rule 6: Anything you don’t solve quickly, give it to your creative mind to process, knowing it will come to you! this is the best news. I have so much to solve in future drafts.
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Joyce’s Formatting
WIL: Even with family demands there can be time to write and use the creative process with speed writing.
vision: I want to creative memorable movie scripts that actors want to perform.
The first scene is drafted. Now, I have an outline on which to base the first draft.
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Joyce’s: 4/10
Vision: to create memorable movies that actors want to perform.
WIL Technology is tough. I am finally able to post. I learned not to become frustrated, well , not too much.
ACT ONE
#1
EXT./INT: CAMPUS THEATER – NIGHT
Beginning
Grad students in Shakespeare Literature class in the audience for required attendance of Othello.
OTHELLO
Speak of me as I am. Nothing extenuate, Nor set down aught in malice. Then must you speak Of one that loved not wisely, but too well; Of one not easily jealous, but being wrought, Perplexed in the extreme; of one whose hand, Like the base Judean, threw a pearl away Richer than all his tribe;
Essence: Shakespeare’s play Othello plays final night at campus theater. Between entrances and exits they give their opinions. Colin and Hunter disagree.
Hope: Professor hopes grad students like it.
Conflict: Laurel sits by Colin who is surprised and flattered and Hunter is angry. Delaney is skeptical.
Subtext: Colin isn’t used to attention from women.
Arc: He goes from showing embarrassment to tolerance.
Middle
Laurel wants Colin to walk her home. Delaney insists she will drive her.
Tomorrow Professor expects dissertation topics.
End
On the way to the parking lot Othello catches up with Delaney and Laurel.
EXT. INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY – DAY
#2
Beginning:
Big picture: Colin knows literature, but not women.
Essence: A graduate class is divided by positions they take about Shakespeare ‘s authorship controversy.
Hope/Fear: Colin faces the last semester to earn a PHD. And his last opportunity financially.
Conflict: The brightest student of the class accepts historical Stratfordian legacy. A division of legacy believers and new evidence believers emerges.
Subtext embeds their opinions which cause jealousy. Also, they vie for an assistantship position for Professor, whose opinion will be revealed.
Arc: Colin, becomes distracted by Laurel.
In the library among the shelves several students search for books. COLIN FAIRBANKS, graduate student, reaches for a heavy volume, but before he pulls it, LAUREL GOODE, sexy classmate, yanks his shoulder to face her. Her mission is to seduce Colin and have him write her dissertation and cheat on the finals. He refuses.
Middle:
He tries to avoid Laurel by the 820’s stacks She asks him to write her dissertation and kisses him.
A large book drops from the top shelf on Colin.
Delaney interrupts as Colin fumbles with the book.
Hunter appears.
Colin blames Hunter. But he backs away from a scuffle.
Hunter assures him if he did it, he wouldn’t have missed.
End:
Laurel storms off in a huff with Hunter close behind.
Delaney ridicules Colin for falling for Laurel’s motives.
Colin has his confidence dashed.
#3
EXIT. / INT.CAMPUS LIBRARY – DAY
Essence: Two sides form.
Hope: Colin is a dud around women, a failing we hope ends with sexy Laurel.
Subtext: Delaney annoys HUnter.
Conflict: Hunter appears angry when Laurel flirts with Colin.
Arc: Colin, uncomfortable with confrontations, admits the class is becoming a battlefield.
Beginning
Delaney sits by Hunter, engrossed in a newspaper in the current periodicals, and teases him.
Middle
She has never seen him go to the library. He tries to wriggle his way out since computers provide enormous information and he never saw her study anything until today.
End
Hunter follows Delaney to the literature section.
#4
INT.CAMPUS LIBRARY – DAY
Essence: Colin is the most dedicated to the studies.
Fear: Classmates resent him.
Conflict: Hunter shows his anger toward Colin.
Arc: He changes from lackadaisical to concerned.
Beginning
Colin collects several volumes and hands them to Laurel. She declares he can’t resist her. She kisses him. Colin is uncomfortable with sexy women,
Middle
Delaney and Hunter interrupt Laurel’s clinch, an embarrassment for Colin. Laurel accuses Hunter of dropping a book on her. He denies it and shifts accusations to Laurel’s flirting because she came to study with Colin.
Subtext: What is Hunter up to? Is he merely determined to be graduated and why does he help Laurel?
EXT. GRADUATE STUDIES BUILDING – DAY
#5
Beginning
Grad students cram through the doorway while Colin holds it open and make fun of him.
INT. LECTURE ROOM DAY
Essence: the class professor has an interest in their standing about the controversy.
Conflict: One of them will be the professor’s assistant for the last semester.
Hope/fear: Colin is a shoo-in, but he can’t accept., even though he needs the financial help.
Scene arc: Colin corrects Hunter’s explanation.
PROFESSOR GRAYDON ALEXANDRES draws three rings on a portable chalkboard. Inside the first he writes “concept,” the second, “research,” and third, “completion.” He points the chalk at Laurel and places an X between concept and research. She pulls books out of a satchel, library books. Delaney laughs at Laurel. There was no time for her to checkout books. Laurel whines that she couldn’t find her I.D. anyway. Her thesis will be to contrast Ophelia, Kate in “Taming of the Shrew,” Desdemona, Juliet about their poor choice of lovers.
Middle
Hunter offers the only comment that her dissertation will run two pages at least.
Professor asks Hunter to discuss his project. Hunter stands beside the lectern. He strokes his chin, stares at the ceiling, turns to the others and recites lines from Hamlet’s “to be or not to be:.. His thesis concerns fathers and how they drive their children. He cites the “To be or not to be” quote. Professor with raised eyebrows nods at Colin whose looks suggest he is unwilling to comment. Professor clears his throat. Colin takes on the whole class in a discussion. His comments cause trouble, and the class ridicules him.
End
After a hot discussion about Hunter’s proposed thesis concerning questions in Shakespeare’s plays, such as in Macbeth and Hamlet. Hamlet’s soliloquy is like a debate topic, such as “resolved a decline in global reliance on the dollar would help international economies” and did not mean what Hunter proposes. Hunter attacks Colin whose elbow smacks Hunter’s nose accidentally.
Students break it up. Colin asks a series of questions. Hunter finally argues he has more than one idea and uses poor grammar, which Colin corrects. The entire class moans.
Professor announces that he will choose one of them as his assistant for the fall term from their applications. Since Delaney is in competition with all classmates, especially with Colin, for an assistant position during their last term toward a PHD. She shoots daggers at him.
#6
INT. PROFESSOR’S OFFICE – DAY
Beginning
Colin dislikes disputes and confrontation.
Essence: Colin opposes professor’s ideas, but admires the man. He doesn’t criticize.
Hope: We hope Colin will take a stand.
Conflict: The controversy is no longer just a hot subject but dangerous.
Subtext: Much money will be lost by people who benefit from current authorship credits in Stratford.
Middle
Finished manuscript about the real authorship of Shakespearean plays and sonnets which is ready for publication may anger the current Shakespearean legacy advocates with this new evidence. It will cause an uproar among Shakespeare’s legacy, followers, the tourist industry, and publications. Secret: Professor will not divulge how he has old script page of Cardenio and what this means to his manuscript.
End
Professor asks why Colin hasn’t applied for assistant job.
Colin says it wouldn’t be a good fit because Professor’s remarks often collide with Colin’s beliefs.
Colin warns Professor the manuscript may cause danger. People are complaining that they have much to lose, but the other camp says the truth is important. No one should go without credit for genius.
EXT. GRADUATE STUDIES BUILDING – DAY
#7
Beginning
Colin is tired of Delaney’s ridicule and her arguments.
Essence: Colin dodges Delaney at the elevator.
Fear: Will they ever be more than classmates, at odds, too?
Subtext: Delaney knows more about seventeenth century culture than Colin.
Arc: Colin can’t avoid opposing ideas to the authorship any more not only because it has divided the class but also because the professor’s book may add too much fuel to the fight.
Delaney follows Colin out of class and continues the arguments, but Colin leaves her in an elevator just as the doors are closing.
INT./ EXT. ADMINISTRATION OFFICE – DAY
Essence: The International Shakespeare Society for Preservation of Shakespeare’s Legacy is prepared to stop the professor at any cost.
Conflict: He has a manuscript ready to reveal new evidence.
Hope/fear: on the part of Delaney. She dislikes Colin and will do anything to keep him out of her way.
Arc: From discussions and published books to threats.
Beginning
President of Graduate Studies looks out the window at the campus before he answers the two visitors at his desk, Cecil Bragg and Rosalind Sharp from the International Shakespeare Society.
He welcomes their generous endowment donation, but he wonders why Professor Alexandres has anything to connected to it. They leave after giving a veiled threat about the professor and his new publication.
INT. / EXT. CAMPUS LIBRARY FOURTH FLOOR – DAY
Essence: The professor suffers a mysterious attack.
Hope/fear: We hope he will be able to publish his book.
Conflict: The manuscript is taken.
Subtext: Delaney doesn’t suffer from the attack although she is nearby.
Arc: Colin saves Delaney and professor.
Beginning
Fourth floor houses the rare books with appropriate air control. The humidifier hisses. Professor looks up from his reading at the noise.
Delaney approaches him. She hopes that Colin isn’t the new assistant because of his blind disregard about the unmasking of Shakespeare.
Professor has no time for her.
The hissing continues.
Middle
When Professor nods and closes his eyes, Bragg steals the manuscript, but Othello startles him and he drops it, so Delaney steals it and staggers out with it into Colin’s arms. Bragg and Othello disappear.
End
Colin calls for help and goes back for the professor, who is unconscious.
INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY MAIN FLOOR – DAY
Essence: Police question Colin.
Hope: We hope he won’t be blamed.
Conflict: Delaney says she saw two men.
Police suggest that she was thinking about the play and the other man was Colin. She implicates him.
Police open the manuscript, filled with blank pages.
Since professor can’t talk about what might be missing, Colin is set free and police rule case is an accident caused by a faulty humidifier.
Arc: Police will watch Colin’s activities.
#11
INT. HOSPITAL – DAY
Beginning
Colin visits the professor to study how he can help him.
Essence: Professor is severely impaired after the attack.
Hope: We hope Colin can communicate with him.
Arc. Colin tries different methods to communicate with the impaired professor.
Middle
He fails again and again until professor blinks his eyes and moves an index finger.
Subtext: The movements seem to be a message, but what?
End
Colin understands that the manuscript is missing. He must find a way to communicate with Professor Alexandres.
#12
INT. LECTURE ROOM – DAY
Beginning
Class meets without the professor.
Essence: Most classmates accept the police report. Hunter doesn’t want Colin’s involvement dropped.
Fear: If he quits his studies now, it is impossible for Colin to continue with his PHD.
Arc: Delaney admits that the manuscript is missing, and the professor can’t talk or explain where it is.
Middle
The class has no chance to write dissertations. Now, finals will replace dissertations. They are suspicious and argue about who should investigate further. None of them wants to give up finals to play detective, so Laurel passes around straws in a cup.
Hunter protests. Over-ruled.
Colin slumps with disappointment when he pulls the shortest straw.
Laurel offers to accompany him. Now Colin really looks frantic.
End
Delaney steps between them. She presents a fake shortened straw to be Colin’s assistant. It causes a heated discussion. Hunter takes Delaney aside and tells her to back off, but she says she will get the manuscript first, a real sacrifice since she dislikes Colin and his beliefs Colin refuses to go and investigate. Let Delaney handle the trip if she wants it so much. The others lean on his loyalty to the professor. No dice.
# 13
INT. ADMINISTRATION OFFICE – DAY
Essence: What can the university to do now the professor is hospitalized?
Subtext: The manuscript is their goal.
Fear: The opposition will take over.
Arc. The opposition doesn’t have the manuscript.
President of Graduate Studies at his desk with several visitors who expect the professor will be let go now that he is unable to speak. His tenure is of no use to him. The manuscript is a problem.
The administration decides to locate the manuscript and any other information possible to make sure it won’t damage the university graduate program and graduate funding.
#14
INT. PROFESSOR’S OFFICE – DAY
Essence: Someone searched professor’s office. Office is trashed.
Hope: They may have found a clue to the manuscript, a clue that sends them to Michigan.
Subtext: Items that seem unimportant are collected by Colin and Delaney.
Colin searches for clues, collects acrostics and other symbols that may lead to the attacker and the manuscript the vandal missed. Bible, Shakespeare, Don Quixote, torn receipt for mailing a package.
INT./ HOSPITAL ROOM AND CORRIDOR – DAY
Essence: Professor is still in danger.
Hope: Will Colin and Delaney ignore it until forced to by an assailant?
Subtext: They will help the professor.
Arc. They stop fighting each other.
Beginning
During a visit, Colin finds the hospital room empty. An aide tells him to wait because professor is having therapy. In a few moments Colin notices there is no scheduled therapy session listed on the nurse’s wall board. He chases a man down corridors and fails to stop him, but the professor, dumped out of his wheelchair, lies on the floor. An attendant wheels him back to his room and a nurse exams him. Colin won’t leave until he is sure Professor is not worse for his accident.
MIddle
A policeman interrogates Colin. Then, Delaney arrives. She claims that she didn’t see the intruder. Colin isn’t convinced that she didn’t.
End
Still, he accepts Delaney’s offer to help retrieve information from the professor.
INT. LAB – DAY
Essence: Colin examines the motor skills the professor lacks now.
Hope: Will the contraption he builds help with communication?
Conflict: The missing manuscript is only a part of the trouble.
Arc: Colin is actively working on Professor’s problems.
Subtext: Delaney works against him.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY
Essence: Colin uncovers Professor’s plan.
Hope/fear: Will Colin be able to carry it out?
Subtext: There are a few clues they must investigate in Michigan and also Folger Library.
Arc: The manuscript isn’t on campus.
Beginning
With an old device Colin rigs for the professor to signal “yes” or “no” and communicate without speech, Colin begins to notice how the Professor is fighting to answer questions.
Reading the old relic, he gets a response from the professor’s gadget which point to a region in Spain where Professor sent his manuscript. In a town in Spain. they will find clues in the old play, Cardenio, which Society searches for in Europe.
Middle
With grant money professor had Colin promises that he will investigate and find the manuscript.
End
Delaney insists she will accompany Colin. So, neither will take the graduate finals or write dissertations. Colin’s PHD will be over.
ACT TWO
INT. MICHIGAN – RESTAURANT – DAY
Essence: In an interview with family whose relative in 1800’s made startling discoveries, they aren’t too forth coming.
Fear: Delaney will runs with this before other information is brought to light.
Conflict: Family wants none of this to come back at them.
Subtext: Colin sees there is secret information.
Arc: Colin changes his mind and is more receptive about the investigation.
Beginning
Throughout Shakespeare’s plays that provide information leading to Sir Henry Neville.
Middle
The family refuses to be quoted or their identity revealed.
End
Delaney persuades Colin to interview a recent author Linda Ramos.
INT. RAM0S’ HOME – DAY
Essence: Colin angers Linda with his opening remarks, so Delaney must encourage her to trust them.
Conflict: She had a co-author who refused to be acknowledged.
Hope/Fear: He may not be alive since he vanished.
Subtext: He last was seen in Spain.
Beginning.
Ramos sounds like it’s a commercial pitch for her book. Colin debates with her and upsets her.
Middle:
Delaney receives more information and the secret that she had a co-author who is missing.
End
They assure Linda they will also investigate the other author’s disappearance along with their manuscript search.
INT. AIRPORT IMMIGRATION – DAY
Essence: The opposition sends authorities .
Fear: The will stop and hold Colin at the airport.
Colin’s Passport is revoked and confiscated.
Subtext: Why does Delaney stay with him?
Arc: They have to find a way to travel to Europe.
Beginning
Authorities pull Colin from boarding line and interrogate him.
MIddle
They do not return his passport and go through his suitcases. Delaney rolls her eyes at the ultra organized, neat bag.
End
Colin hates to give up so early, but he must have his passport to leave. They also need his passport for him to come back. She has connections.
EXT. SHIP – DAY
Essence: Without passports they may be arrested on shore.
Fear: The search may end since someone alerts the authorities.
Subtext: Delaney refuses to change her mind about Colin.
Arc: Colin shares dry clothes with her and she accepts.
Beginning
Delaney finds berths on a barge/steamer. They will not be able to return through legal immigration ports.
Middle
The Captain gives Colin advice about women. He learns that police wait for them at their destination, so Colin jumps overboard with his suitcase, but Captain orders a mate to throw Delaney over the rail.
Delaney loses her suitcases.
EXT. SPAIN – DAY
Essence: Colin sees how attractive Delaney can.
Hope: We want them to be friends.
Conflict: They have separate reasons and can’t trust each other to get the manuscript.
Subtext: Delaney keeps Colin at arm’s-length.
Arc: She softens a little when he offers her his dry clothes.
Beginning
The two make it to shore. Colin is surprised to see soaking wet Delaney without glasses and severe hair style. She dries out and looks very attractive.
Middle
She has no other clothes, but ever-organized Colin has a dry shirts to lend her. She thanks him half-heartedly.
End
She desperately wants the manuscript and pretends she is helping Colin, but she reveals plans to get the manuscript first to a contact.
INT. HOTEL – DAY
Essence: Colin has some of Professor’s evidence from his office. It points to the lost play, Cardenio.
Hope: Will they be able to find more of it?
Conflict: Delaney keeps information from Colin.
Subtext: Her arguments begin to give away her goals for coming with him.
Arc: Colin sees a pattern in the clues.
Cardenio has ties to Don Quixote.
Beginning.
They spread out the information they have already amassed, but Delaney contradicts Colin’s every interpretation.
Middle:
He accuses her of messing up the investigation.
End
He finds clues leading to Henry Neville, but he refuses to settle on him and studies further.
EXT. TOWN – DAY
Essence: They have to investigate old play scripts.
Hope: Somebody must have family ties to Professor.
Subtext: Delaney questions Bragg’s connections.
Arc: A reveal shows her real intentions are personal
Beginning
Then, Colin interviews people who had ancestors who acted in Cardenio centuries before this. They give him information. He can form a plan.
Middle
Delaney steers Colin the wrong way.
End
Delaney leaves. Bragg is following them.
EXT. TOWN – DAY
Essence: Delaney meets Bragg secretly.
Conflict: Bragg threatens to kill Colin.
Subtext: Delaney agrees to give him whatever information they find.
Fear: We fear she will betray Colin and he will be harmed.
Arc: Delaney’s actions prove she isn’t loyal.
Beginning: Bragg has followed them.
Middle: He will coerce Delany to give him Cardenio and the manuscript if She finds them.
End: Delaney is at a crossroad: help Colin and have him killed or give Bragg the information without knowing what he plans to do with it.
EXT./ INT. TRAIN DAY
Essence:Colin and Delaney follow the clues to the mountains.
Fear: Does he realize someone is following them?
Conflict: Bragg confronts Delaney on a train.
Arc. Delaney sabotages Colin’s secret mission.
Beginning
Colin has no choice but to trust Delaney.
Middle
Bragg lurks on the train and waits for her to give him their plan.
ACT THREE
EXT. TOWN DAY
Essence: Colin follows clues in a small town.
Fear: Will they have been destroyed over the centuries?
Conflict: Delaney wants them for her own purposes.
Arc: Another enemy is added.
Delaney and Colin go to the cathedral for clues.
Beginning
An old priest seems helpful, but he turns on them when he learns what they want.
Middle
A young priest comes forward. He has seen Cardenio written on an old script, but much of it came from Don Quixote.
End:
Townspeople are proud of Cervantes, Don Quixote and resent Colin’s interrogations.
EXT. TOWN HALL DAY
Essence: People will not answer questions about “Don Quixote”.
Fear: They harbor old grievances about their beloved book.
Conflict: The young sends them to to the town archives.
INT. ARCHIVES – DAY
Essence: Colin discovers crypto.
Hope: Will his information lead to the lost play?
Subtext: An official hands them a copy of a scrap of play script, numbered 58, that many inquiries that year, mostly by email. It does exist somewhere in Spain.
Arc: They are getting closer.
EXT. TOWN BAR DAY
Essence: Townspeople threaten them.
Fear: Will they survive?
Subtext: Delaney feels guilty and sorry for Collin.
Arc: Bragg is becoming fed up with Delaney.
Beginning
In a bar they learn more about the manuscript and the old play.
Middle
Patrons are belligerent. Their hero is Cervantes, and they are indignant even today that Don Quixote is the source for Cardenio.
End
Delaney pulls Colin out before he gets too hurt.
EXT./INT. CATHEDRAL NIGHT
Essence: Colin believes there are icons and other clues.
Fear: They will be found searching.
Subtext: Clues they missed have more meaning.
Conflict: The old priest told them to stay away.
Arc: Colin is committed to this search.
Vespers are over. Colin and Delaney hide in the church. When no one remains but them, they search for hiding places in carvings and statuary for artifacts and clues.
Delaney finds pictures of three rings. She has them from her family and hides them, each one on a separate toe. Delaney insists she has no information for Bragg, yet. He threatens Colin’s safety. No one will find him if Bragg is a ruthless man.
EXT. CATHEDRAL – DAY
Essence: The opposition is strengthening.
Fear: The journey has more danger than they realized.
Conflict: Some people like Bragg will stop them from finding and returning the manuscript.
Subtext: Delaney struggles with her feelings about Colin and he dedication to find what they are looking for.
Arc: She will help Colin find it and then take it. They return to the cathedral.
Three men from the bar surround them. Colin and Delaney fight their way and escape.
EXT. TOWN HOTEL – NIGHT
Essence: The first attractive woman to be fond of Colin is Delaney but she doesn’t want to be attractive to him.
Hope: We hope she won’t betray him.
Subtext: She wants to validate her family’s ancestral authorship of Shakespeare’s plays.
Arc: She treats Colin with affection.
Beginning
Delaney has softened toward Colin. She dresses his cuts. Colin is comfortable with her. He admits he cares more about Delaney than Shakespeare’s legacy.
Middle
She promises to help, but afterwards she wants an equal playing field.
End
She has three rings but doesn’t share their importance with him.
EXT. MOUNTAIN RESORT DAY
Essence: Clues lead them to a mountain town.
Hope: No one seems to follow them there.
Subtext: Delaney makes excuses.
Conflict: Colin discovers Delaney hides information from him.
Arc: Colin loses the last bit of confidence in her.
Beginning
There are no rooms available. Ski season is late but the resort will be busy shortly.
Middle
When they have lunch, Delaney complains about her foot. Colin pulls off her boot before she can stop him. On each of three toes she has a ring.
The rings set in a pile have a spear design. Colin is furious about her stealing, which is against his principles.
End
Delaney tries to explain that they are hers.
EXT.INT. FAMILY CABIN – DAY
Essence: He wants to finish the investigation and go home.
Fear: Will he leave Delaney?
Conflict: Colin has to protect the manuscript. and prove worthy to these people.
Subtext: He has pages of Cardenio, probably authentic, in his hands.
Arc: His determination grows and he makes better headway.
Beginning
(Colin must earn this.) They rent a cabin.
Middle
She reveals that many of her ancestors have been related to kings, princes, and other royalty and men who may have authored the Shakespearean plays. She is related to Macbeth, and Duncan, Southampton, de Vere, the Nevilles and several monarchs from William the Conqueror to the present day Spencers, and the seventeen century ancestors may be the real authors. Their history means so much to her.
End
Colin argues with Delaney. They barely speak.
EXT. CABIN DAY
Essence: Delaney confesses she’s betraying him.
Hope: Now she can quit.
Conflict. Bragg won’t let her.
Arc: Delaney and Colin are in danger.
Beginning
She kisses him now that she approves of his good qualities. Delaney seduces Colin.
Subtext: She may have another trick planned.
Hope: We hope they can be true to each other.
Conflict: Whose side is Delaney on now? She knows what the professor has discovered, but she may die for it.
Arc: Colin gives up his mistrust for he has fallen in love with Delaney.
Beginning
Love scene when Delaney approaches Colin.
Middle
She makes a mistake.
End
Delaney steals the manuscript Colin has.
EXT./INT. CABIN DAY
Essence: Colin discovers Delaney has betrayed him to Bragg.
Fear: What will he do?
Conflict: Delaney has a chance to give Bragg the manuscript, but she doesn’t.
Arc. He has become a fighter.
Beginning
Colin goes for help, but Delaney has other plans.
Middle: She contacts Bragg. He confesses that he doesn’t care about Shakespeare’s legacy or about the new evidence about other authors, he wants to sell to the highest bidder.
End
Delaney pretends she doesn’t have it.
EXT. SPAIN – DAY
Essence: After Delaney deceives Bragg, he kidnaps her.
Fear: She is in danger.
Subtext: The manuscript and play script have taken on greater importance.
Arc: No one is safe from the opposition.
Beginning
Bragg takes Delaney in a rented vehicle. After the car wrecks, they go on foot.
Middle: Bragg kidnaps Delaney
End: After Colin learns more from a contact, he returns and she is gone.
EXT. SPAIN – DAY
Essence: Colin is ready to abandon Delaney, but has a change of heart.
Hope/fear: Will he rescue her?
Conflict: It is Colin against Bragg.
Arc: The betrayer becomes the victim.
Beginning.
Delaney leaves Clues for Colin to reach her.
Middle:
Colin picks up Delaney’s trail.
End
He saves Delaney when they flee from Bragg.
EXT. RESORT GONDOLAS DAY
Essence: They aren’t free, yet.
Conflict: Bragg follows and attacks Colin at gondolas.
Hope/fear: Delaney will have a choice between her love for Colin and her loyalty to her quest for proof of ancestral authorship.
Fear/hope: What will they find at home if they can get back?
Subtext: Colin has a challenge, too, if his feelings for Delaney are strong enough to overcome his common sense.
Arc: Colin’s fighting nature has arrived.
Bragg pulls a gun.
Brag offers Colin’s life for the manuscripts.
Instead, Delaney unfastens the pages and throws them into the wind down the valley.
Bragg climbs out to retrieve pages that cling to the gondola.
Delaney urges Colin to kill Bragg.
Colin climbs out to save Bragg and manuscript. The gondola almost arrives at the station, as Bragg falls. Because of Colin he won’t fall a great distance. His fate is unknown.
ACT FOUR
EXT. HOSPITAL DAY
Essence: Changes back home surprise them. Professor speaks now.
Hope: Their college aspirations are dashed. Colin and Delaney’s failed mission hurts, but it draws them closer.
Conflict: Laurel has taken their places.
Subtext: Othello brings the rings to Delaney, a man steals them. They have lost much of what the professor wanted.
Arc: Colin and Delaney have both become sleuths and hooked on mysteries.
They visit Professor. Laurel has found her calling is caring for the ailing man. Professor is gaining movement and may recall much of his lost manuscript. He has lost his position because of he is not strong enough to fulfill his teaching duties or to address the controversy. Colin insists that no life is worth losing to save the manuscripts. The men and women involved are long dead, anyway.
Othello bursts in.
Colin shoves women behind him and prepares to fight.
Othello hands over blurred pages. He gives Colin a letter. Although Bragg is alive and is grateful Colin tried to save him, someone else is after the information. This controversy is far from over. (Or he brings in Bragg).
Professor agrees it should end. Still, there is much nobody knows about the lost plays.
EXT./INT. ADMINSTRATION BUILDING – DAY
Colin goes to find out why they put professor out to pasture and meets Delaney there. They sit outside and argue. She yells when a man steals her packages. Colin chases and tackles Hunter. He drags him into the ad building. Delaney follows and confronts the President. She has clout.
EXT. HOSPITAL – DAY
Laurel wheels professor out on the lawn. Colin informs him that Hunter has is the attacker.
Professor convinces Colin he should go back to Europe to track other lost plays.
INT. AIRPLANE DAY
Essence: Colin boards plane.
Hope: Colin won’t be alone.
Subtext: He is late for the boarding.
Conflict: He travels a different path from his old one.
Arc: No longer on the fence or non-confrontational.
On the plane Colin goes to his seat and it’s next to Delaney. She has clout.
The end
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trying to catch up
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Posted wrong place
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posted on the wrong lesson
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Joyce’s Assignment 9
WIL: Busy month, October, so I am late but posting and I am not discouraged. I will catch up.
ACT ONE
#1
EXT./INT: CAMPUS THEATER – NIGHT
Beginning
Grad students in Shakespeare Literature class in the audience for required attendance of Othello.
OTHELLO
Speak of me as I am. Nothing extenuate, Nor set down aught in malice. Then must you speak Of one that loved not wisely, but too well; Of one not easily jealous, but being wrought, Perplexed in the extreme; of one whose hand, Like the base Judean, threw a pearl away Richer than all his tribe;
Essence: Shakespeare’s play Othello plays final night at campus theater. Between entrances and exits they give their opinions. Colin and Hunter disagree.
Hope: Professor hopes grad students like it.
Conflict: Laurel sits by Colin who is surprised and flattered and Hunter is angry. Delaney is skeptical.
Subtext: Colin isn’t used to attention from women.
Arc: He goes from showing embarrassment to tolerance.
Middle
Laurel wants Colin to walk her home. Delaney insists she will drive her.
Tomorrow Professor expects dissertation topics.
End
On the way to the parking lot Othello catches up with Delaney and Laurel.
EXT. INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY – DAY
#2
Beginning:
Big picture: Colin knows literature, but not women.
Essence: A graduate class is divided by positions they take about Shakespeare ‘s authorship controversy.
Hope/Fear: Colin faces the last semester to earn a PHD. And his last opportunity financially.
Conflict: The brightest student of the class accepts historical Stratfordian legacy. A division of legacy believers and new evidence believers emerges.
Subtext embeds their opinions which cause jealousy. Also, they vie for an assistantship position for Professor, whose opinion will be revealed.
Arc: Colin, becomes distracted by Laurel.
In the library among the shelves several students search for books. COLIN FAIRBANKS, graduate student, reaches for a heavy volume, but before he pulls it, LAUREL GOODE, sexy classmate, yanks his shoulder to face her. Her mission is to seduce Colin and have him write her dissertation and cheat on the finals. He refuses.
Middle:
He tries to avoid Laurel by the 820’s stacks She asks him to write her dissertation and kisses him.
A large book drops from the top shelf on Colin.
Delaney interrupts as Colin fumbles with the book.
Hunter appears.
Colin blames Hunter. But he backs away from a scuffle.
Hunter assures him if he did it, he wouldn’t have missed.
End:
Laurel storms off in a huff with Hunter close behind.
Delaney ridicules Colin for falling for Laurel’s motives.
Colin has his confidence dashed.
#3
EXIT. / INT.CAMPUS LIBRARY – DAY
Essence: Two sides form.
Hope: Colin is a dud around women, a failing we hope ends with sexy Laurel.
Subtext: Delaney annoys HUnter.
Conflict: Hunter appears angry when Laurel flirts with Colin.
Arc: Colin, uncomfortable with confrontations, admits the class is becoming a battlefield.
Beginning
Delaney sits by Hunter, engrossed in a newspaper in the current periodicals, and teases him.
Middle
She has never seen him go to the library. He tries to wriggle his way out since computers provide enormous information and he never saw her study anything until today.
End
Hunter follows Delaney to the literature section.
#4
INT.CAMPUS LIBRARY – DAY
Essence: Colin is the most dedicated to the studies.
Fear: Classmates resent him.
Conflict: Hunter shows his anger toward Colin.
Arc: He changes from lackadaisical to concerned.
Beginning
Colin collects several volumes and hands them to Laurel. She declares he can’t resist her. She kisses him. Colin is uncomfortable with sexy women,
Middle
Delaney and Hunter interrupt Laurel’s clinch, an embarrassment for Colin. Laurel accuses Hunter of dropping a book on her. He denies it and shifts accusations to Laurel’s flirting because she came to study with Colin.
Subtext: What is Hunter up to? Is he merely determined to be graduated and why does he help Laurel?
EXT. GRADUATE STUDIES BUILDING – DAY
#5
Beginning
Grad students cram through the doorway while Colin holds it open and make fun of him.
INT. LECTURE ROOM DAY
Essence: the class professor has an interest in their standing about the controversy.
Conflict: One of them will be the professor’s assistant for the last semester.
Hope/fear: Colin is a shoo-in, but he can’t accept., even though he needs the financial help.
Scene arc: Colin corrects Hunter’s explanation.
PROFESSOR GRAYDON ALEXANDRES draws three rings on a portable chalkboard. Inside the first he writes “concept,” the second, “research,” and third, “completion.” He points the chalk at Laurel and places an X between concept and research. She pulls books out of a satchel, library books. Delaney laughs at Laurel. There was no time for her to checkout books. Laurel whines that she couldn’t find her I.D. anyway. Her thesis will be to contrast Ophelia, Kate in “Taming of the Shrew,” Desdemona, Juliet about their poor choice of lovers.
Middle
Hunter offers the only comment that her dissertation will run two pages at least.
Professor asks Hunter to discuss his project. Hunter stands beside the lectern. He strokes his chin, stares at the ceiling, turns to the others and recites lines from Hamlet’s “to be or not to be:.. His thesis concerns fathers and how they drive their children. He cites the “To be or not to be” quote. Professor with raised eyebrows nods at Colin whose looks suggest he is unwilling to comment. Professor clears his throat. Colin takes on the whole class in a discussion. His comments cause trouble, and the class ridicules him.
End
After a hot discussion about Hunter’s proposed thesis concerning questions in Shakespeare’s plays, such as in Macbeth and Hamlet. Hamlet’s soliloquy is like a debate topic, such as “resolved a decline in global reliance on the dollar would help international economies” and did not mean what Hunter proposes. Hunter attacks Colin whose elbow smacks Hunter’s nose accidentally.
Students break it up. Colin asks a series of questions. Hunter finally argues he has more than one idea and uses poor grammar, which Colin corrects. The entire class moans.
Professor announces that he will choose one of them as his assistant for the fall term from their applications. Since Delaney is in competition with all classmates, especially with Colin, for an assistant position during their last term toward a PHD. She shoots daggers at him.
#6
INT. PROFESSOR’S OFFICE – DAY
Beginning
Colin dislikes disputes and confrontation.
Essence: Colin opposes professor’s ideas, but admires the man. He doesn’t criticize.
Hope: We hope Colin will take a stand.
Conflict: The controversy is no longer just a hot subject but dangerous.
Subtext: Much money will be lost by people who benefit from current authorship credits in Stratford.
Middle
Finished manuscript about the real authorship of Shakespearean plays and sonnets which is ready for publication may anger the current Shakespearean legacy advocates with this new evidence. It will cause an uproar among Shakespeare’s legacy, followers, the tourist industry, and publications. Secret: Professor will not divulge how he has old script page of Cardenio and what this means to his manuscript.
End
Professor asks why Colin hasn’t applied for assistant job.
Colin says it wouldn’t be a good fit because Professor’s remarks often collide with Colin’s beliefs.
Colin warns Professor the manuscript may cause danger. People are complaining that they have much to lose, but the other camp says the truth is important. No one should go without credit for genius.
EXT. GRADUATE STUDIES BUILDING – DAY
#7
Beginning
Colin is tired of Delaney’s ridicule and her arguments.
Essence: Colin dodges Delaney at the elevator.
Fear: Will they ever be more than classmates, at odds, too?
Subtext: Delaney knows more about seventeenth century culture than Colin.
Arc: Colin can’t avoid opposing ideas to the authorship any more not only because it has divided the class but also because the professor’s book may add too much fuel to the fight.
Delaney follows Colin out of class and continues the arguments, but Colin leaves her in an elevator just as the doors are closing.
INT./ EXT. ADMINISTRATION OFFICE – DAY
Essence: The International Shakespeare Society for Preservation of Shakespeare’s Legacy is prepared to stop the professor at any cost.
Conflict: He has a manuscript ready to reveal new evidence.
Hope/fear: on the part of Delaney. She dislikes Colin and will do anything to keep him out of her way.
Arc: From discussions and published books to threats.
Beginning
President of Graduate Studies looks out the window at the campus before he answers the two visitors at his desk, Cecil Bragg and Rosalind Sharp from the International Shakespeare Society.
He welcomes their generous endowment donation, but he wonders why Professor Alexandres has anything to connected to it. They leave after giving a veiled threat about the professor and his new publication.
INT. / EXT. CAMPUS LIBRARY FOURTH FLOOR – DAY
Essence: The professor suffers a mysterious attack.
Hope/fear: We hope he will be able to publish his book.
Conflict: The manuscript is taken.
Subtext: Delaney doesn’t suffer from the attack although she is nearby.
Arc: Colin saves Delaney and professor.
Beginning
Fourth floor houses the rare books with appropriate air control. The humidifier hisses. Professor looks up from his reading at the noise.
Delaney approaches him. She hopes that Colin isn’t the new assistant because of his blind disregard about the unmasking of Shakespeare.
Professor has no time for her.
The hissing continues.
Middle
When Professor nods and closes his eyes, Bragg steals the manuscript, but Othello startles him and he drops it, so Delaney steals it and staggers out with it into Colin’s arms. Bragg and Othello disappear.
End
Colin calls for help and goes back for the professor, who is unconscious.
INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY MAIN FLOOR – DAY
Essence: Police question Colin.
Hope: We hope he won’t be blamed.
Conflict: Delaney says she saw two men.
Police suggest that she was thinking about the play and the other man was Colin. She implicates him.
Police open the manuscript, filled with blank pages.
Since professor can’t talk about what might be missing, Colin is set free and police rule case is an accident caused by a faulty humidifier.
Arc: Police will watch Colin’s activities.
#11
INT. HOSPITAL – DAY
Beginning
Colin visits the professor to study how he can help him.
Essence: Professor is severely impaired after the attack.
Hope: We hope Colin can communicate with him.
Arc. Colin tries different methods to communicate with the impaired professor.
Middle
He fails again and again until professor blinks his eyes and moves an index finger.
Subtext: The movements seem to be a message, but what?
End
Colin understands that the manuscript is missing. He must find a way to communicate with Professor Alexandres.
#12
INT. LECTURE ROOM – DAY
Beginning
Class meets without the professor.
Essence: Most classmates accept the police report. Hunter doesn’t want Colin’s involvement dropped.
Fear: If he quits his studies now, it is impossible for Colin to continue with his PHD.
Arc: Delaney admits that the manuscript is missing, and the professor can’t talk or explain where it is.
Middle
The class has no chance to write dissertations. Now, finals will replace dissertations. They are suspicious and argue about who should investigate further. None of them wants to give up finals to play detective, so Laurel passes around straws in a cup.
Hunter protests. Over-ruled.
Colin slumps with disappointment when he pulls the shortest straw.
Laurel offers to accompany him. Now Colin really looks frantic.
End
Delaney steps between them. She presents a fake shortened straw to be Colin’s assistant. It causes a heated discussion. Hunter takes Delaney aside and tells her to back off, but she says she will get the manuscript first, a real sacrifice since she dislikes Colin and his beliefs Colin refuses to go and investigate. Let Delaney handle the trip if she wants it so much. The others lean on his loyalty to the professor. No dice.
# 13
INT. ADMINISTRATION OFFICE – DAY
Essence: What can the university to do now the professor is hospitalized?
Subtext: The manuscript is their goal.
Fear: The opposition will take over.
Arc. The opposition doesn’t have the manuscript.
President of Graduate Studies at his desk with several visitors who expect the professor will be let go now that he is unable to speak. His tenure is of no use to him. The manuscript is a problem.
The administration decides to locate the manuscript and any other information possible to make sure it won’t damage the university graduate program and graduate funding.
#14
INT. PROFESSOR’S OFFICE – DAY
Essence: Someone searched professor’s office. Office is trashed.
Hope: They may have found a clue to the manuscript, a clue that sends them to Michigan.
Subtext: Items that seem unimportant are collected by Colin and Delaney.
Colin searches for clues, collects acrostics and other symbols that may lead to the attacker and the manuscript the vandal missed. Bible, Shakespeare, Don Quixote, torn receipt for mailing a package.
INT./ HOSPITAL ROOM AND CORRIDOR – DAY
Essence: Professor is still in danger.
Hope: Will Colin and Delaney ignore it until forced to by an assailant?
Subtext: They will help the professor.
Arc. They stop fighting each other.
Beginning
During a visit, Colin finds the hospital room empty. An aide tells him to wait because professor is having therapy. In a few moments Colin notices there is no scheduled therapy session listed on the nurse’s wall board. He chases a man down corridors and fails to stop him, but the professor, dumped out of his wheelchair, lies on the floor. An attendant wheels him back to his room and a nurse exams him. Colin won’t leave until he is sure Professor is not worse for his accident.
MIddle
A policeman interrogates Colin. Then, Delaney arrives. She claims that she didn’t see the intruder. Colin isn’t convinced that she didn’t.
End
Still, he accepts Delaney’s offer to help retrieve information from the professor.
INT. LAB – DAY
Essence: Colin examines the motor skills the professor lacks now.
Hope: Will the contraption he builds help with communication?
Conflict: The missing manuscript is only a part of the trouble.
Arc: Colin is actively working on Professor’s problems.
Subtext: Delaney works against him.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY
Essence: Colin uncovers Professor’s plan.
Hope/fear: Will Colin be able to carry it out?
Subtext: There are a few clues they must investigate in Michigan and also Folger Library.
Arc: The manuscript isn’t on campus.
Beginning
With an old device Colin rigs for the professor to signal “yes” or “no” and communicate without speech, Colin begins to notice how the Professor is fighting to answer questions.
Reading the old relic, he gets a response from the professor’s gadget which point to a region in Spain where Professor sent his manuscript. In a town in Spain. they will find clues in the old play, Cardenio, which Society searches for in Europe.
Middle
With grant money professor had Colin promises that he will investigate and find the manuscript.
End
Delaney insists she will accompany Colin. So, neither will take the graduate finals or write dissertations. Colin’s PHD will be over.
ACT TWO
INT. MICHIGAN – RESTAURANT – DAY
Essence: In an interview with family whose relative in 1800’s made startling discoveries, they aren’t too forth coming.
Fear: Delaney will runs with this before other information is brought to light.
Conflict: Family wants none of this to come back at them.
Subtext: Colin sees there is secret information.
Arc: Colin changes his mind and is more receptive about the investigation.
Beginning
Throughout Shakespeare’s plays that provide information leading to Sir Henry Neville.
Middle
The family refuses to be quoted or their identity revealed.
End
Delaney persuades Colin to interview a recent author Linda Ramos.
INT. RAM0S’ HOME – DAY
Essence: Colin angers Linda with his opening remarks, so Delaney must encourage her to trust them.
Conflict: She had a co-author who refused to be acknowledged.
Hope/Fear: He may not be alive since he vanished.
Subtext: He last was seen in Spain.
Beginning.
Ramos sounds like it’s a commercial pitch for her book. Colin debates with her and upsets her.
Middle:
Delaney receives more information and the secret that she had a co-author who is missing.
End
They assure Linda they will also investigate the other author’s disappearance along with their manuscript search.
INT. AIRPORT IMMIGRATION – DAY
Essence: The opposition sends authorities .
Fear: The will stop and hold Colin at the airport.
Colin’s Passport is revoked and confiscated.
Subtext: Why does Delaney stay with him?
Arc: They have to find a way to travel to Europe.
Beginning
Authorities pull Colin from boarding line and interrogate him.
MIddle
They do not return his passport and go through his suitcases. Delaney rolls her eyes at the ultra organized, neat bag.
End
Colin hates to give up so early, but he must have his passport to leave. They also need his passport for him to come back. She has connections.
EXT. SHIP – DAY
Essence: Without passports they may be arrested on shore.
Fear: The search may end since someone alerts the authorities.
Subtext: Delaney refuses to change her mind about Colin.
Arc: Colin shares dry clothes with her and she accepts.
Beginning
Delaney finds berths on a barge/steamer. They will not be able to return through legal immigration ports.
Middle
The Captain gives Colin advice about women. He learns that police wait for them at their destination, so Colin jumps overboard with his suitcase, but Captain orders a mate to throw Delaney over the rail.
Delaney loses her suitcases.
EXT. SPAIN – DAY
Essence: Colin sees how attractive Delaney can.
Hope: We want them to be friends.
Conflict: They have separate reasons and can’t trust each other to get the manuscript.
Subtext: Delaney keeps Colin at arm’s-length.
Arc: She softens a little when he offers her his dry clothes.
Beginning
The two make it to shore. Colin is surprised to see soaking wet Delaney without glasses and severe hair style. She dries out and looks very attractive.
Middle
She has no other clothes, but ever-organized Colin has a dry shirts to lend her. She thanks him half-heartedly.
End
She desperately wants the manuscript and pretends she is helping Colin, but she reveals plans to get the manuscript first to a contact.
INT. HOTEL – DAY
Essence: Colin has some of Professor’s evidence from his office. It points to the lost play, Cardenio.
Hope: Will they be able to find more of it?
Conflict: Delaney keeps information from Colin.
Subtext: Her arguments begin to give away her goals for coming with him.
Arc: Colin sees a pattern in the clues.
Cardenio has ties to Don Quixote.
Beginning.
They spread out the information they have already amassed, but Delaney contradicts Colin’s every interpretation.
Middle:
He accuses her of messing up the investigation.
End
He finds clues leading to Henry Neville, but he refuses to settle on him and studies further.
EXT. TOWN – DAY
Essence: They have to investigate old play scripts.
Hope: Somebody must have family ties to Professor.
Subtext: Delaney questions Bragg’s connections.
Arc: A reveal shows her real intentions are personal
Beginning
Then, Colin interviews people who had ancestors who acted in Cardenio centuries before this. They give him information. He can form a plan.
Middle
Delaney steers Colin the wrong way.
End
Delaney leaves. Bragg is following them.
EXT. TOWN – DAY
Essence: Delaney meets Bragg secretly.
Conflict: Bragg threatens to kill Colin.
Subtext: Delaney agrees to give him whatever information they find.
Fear: We fear she will betray Colin and he will be harmed.
Arc: Delaney’s actions prove she isn’t loyal.
Beginning: Bragg has followed them.
Middle: He will coerce Delany to give him Cardenio and the manuscript if She finds them.
End: Delaney is at a crossroad: help Colin and have him killed or give Bragg the information without knowing what he plans to do with it.
EXT./ INT. TRAIN DAY
Essence:Colin and Delaney follow the clues to the mountains.
Fear: Does he realize someone is following them?
Conflict: Bragg confronts Delaney on a train.
Arc. Delaney sabotages Colin’s secret mission.
Beginning
Colin has no choice but to trust Delaney.
Middle
Bragg lurks on the train and waits for her to give him their plan.
ACT THREE
EXT. TOWN DAY
Essence: Colin follows clues in a small town.
Fear: Will they have been destroyed over the centuries?
Conflict: Delaney wants them for her own purposes.
Arc: Another enemy is added.
Delaney and Colin go to the cathedral for clues.
Beginning
An old priest seems helpful, but he turns on them when he learns what they want.
Middle
A young priest comes forward. He has seen Cardenio written on an old script, but much of it came from Don Quixote.
End:
Townspeople are proud of Cervantes, Don Quixote and resent Colin’s interrogations.
EXT. TOWN HALL DAY
Essence: People will not answer questions about “Don Quixote”.
Fear: They harbor old grievances about their beloved book.
Conflict: The young sends them to to the town archives.
INT. ARCHIVES – DAY
Essence: Colin discovers crypto.
Hope: Will his information lead to the lost play?
Subtext: An official hands them a copy of a scrap of play script, numbered 58, that many inquiries that year, mostly by email. It does exist somewhere in Spain.
Arc: They are getting closer.
EXT. TOWN BAR DAY
Essence: Townspeople threaten them.
Fear: Will they survive?
Subtext: Delaney feels guilty and sorry for Collin.
Arc: Bragg is becoming fed up with Delaney.
Beginning
In a bar they learn more about the manuscript and the old play.
Middle
Patrons are belligerent. Their hero is Cervantes, and they are indignant even today that Don Quixote is the source for Cardenio.
End
Delaney pulls Colin out before he gets too hurt.
EXT./INT. CATHEDRAL NIGHT
Essence: Colin believes there are icons and other clues.
Fear: They will be found searching.
Subtext: Clues they missed have more meaning.
Conflict: The old priest told them to stay away.
Arc: Colin is committed to this search.
Vespers are over. Colin and Delaney hide in the church. When no one remains but them, they search for hiding places in carvings and statuary for artifacts and clues.
Delaney finds pictures of three rings. She has them from her family and hides them, each one on a separate toe. Delaney insists she has no information for Bragg, yet. He threatens Colin’s safety. No one will find him if Bragg is a ruthless man.
EXT. CATHEDRAL – DAY
Essence: The opposition is strengthening.
Fear: The journey has more danger than they realized.
Conflict: Some people like Bragg will stop them from finding and returning the manuscript.
Subtext: Delaney struggles with her feelings about Colin and he dedication to find what they are looking for.
Arc: She will help Colin find it and then take it. They return to the cathedral.
Three men from the bar surround them. Colin and Delaney fight their way and escape.
EXT. TOWN HOTEL – NIGHT
Essence: The first attractive woman to be fond of Colin is Delaney but she doesn’t want to be attractive to him.
Hope: We hope she won’t betray him.
Subtext: She wants to validate her family’s ancestral authorship of Shakespeare’s plays.
Arc: She treats Colin with affection.
Beginning
Delaney has softened toward Colin. She dresses his cuts. Colin is comfortable with her. He admits he cares more about Delaney than Shakespeare’s legacy.
Middle
She promises to help, but afterwards she wants an equal playing field.
End
She has three rings but doesn’t share their importance with him.
EXT. MOUNTAIN RESORT DAY
Essence: Clues lead them to a mountain town.
Hope: No one seems to follow them there.
Subtext: Delaney makes excuses.
Conflict: Colin discovers Delaney hides information from him.
Arc: Colin loses the last bit of confidence in her.
Beginning
There are no rooms available. Ski season is late but the resort will be busy shortly.
Middle
When they have lunch, Delaney complains about her foot. Colin pulls off her boot before she can stop him. On each of three toes she has a ring.
The rings set in a pile have a spear design. Colin is furious about her stealing, which is against his principles.
End
Delaney tries to explain that they are hers.
EXT.INT. FAMILY CABIN – DAY
Essence: He wants to finish the investigation and go home.
Fear: Will he leave Delaney?
Conflict: Colin has to protect the manuscript. and prove worthy to these people.
Subtext: He has pages of Cardenio, probably authentic, in his hands.
Arc: His determination grows and he makes better headway.
Beginning
(Colin must earn this.) They rent a cabin.
Middle
She reveals that many of her ancestors have been related to kings, princes, and other royalty and men who may have authored the Shakespearean plays. She is related to Macbeth, and Duncan, Southampton, de Vere, the Nevilles and several monarchs from William the Conqueror to the present day Spencers, and the seventeen century ancestors may be the real authors. Their history means so much to her.
End
Colin argues with Delaney. They barely speak.
EXT. CABIN DAY
Essence: Delaney confesses she’s betraying him.
Hope: Now she can quit.
Conflict. Bragg won’t let her.
Arc: Delaney and Colin are in danger.
Beginning
She kisses him now that she approves of his good qualities. Delaney seduces Colin.
Subtext: She may have another trick planned.
Hope: We hope they can be true to each other.
Conflict: Whose side is Delaney on now? She knows what the professor has discovered, but she may die for it.
Arc: Colin gives up his mistrust for he has fallen in love with Delaney.
Beginning
Love scene when Delaney approaches Colin.
Middle
She makes a mistake.
End
Delaney steals the manuscript Colin has.
EXT./INT. CABIN DAY
Essence: Colin discovers Delaney has betrayed him to Bragg.
Fear: What will he do?
Conflict: Delaney has a chance to give Bragg the manuscript, but she doesn’t.
Arc. He has become a fighter.
Beginning
Colin goes for help, but Delaney has other plans.
Middle: She contacts Bragg. He confesses that he doesn’t care about Shakespeare’s legacy or about the new evidence about other authors, he wants to sell to the highest bidder.
End
Delaney pretends she doesn’t have it.
EXT. SPAIN – DAY
Essence: After Delaney deceives Bragg, he kidnaps her.
Fear: She is in danger.
Subtext: The manuscript and play script have taken on greater importance.
Arc: No one is safe from the opposition.
Beginning
Bragg takes Delaney in a rented vehicle. After the car wrecks, they go on foot.
Middle: Bragg kidnaps Delaney
End: After Colin learns more from a contact, he returns and she is gone.
EXT. SPAIN – DAY
Essence: Colin is ready to abandon Delaney, but has a change of heart.
Hope/fear: Will he rescue her?
Conflict: It is Colin against Bragg.
Arc: The betrayer becomes the victim.
Beginning.
Delaney leaves Clues for Colin to reach her.
Middle:
Colin picks up Delaney’s trail.
End
He saves Delaney when they flee from Bragg.
EXT. RESORT GONDOLAS DAY
Essence: They aren’t free, yet.
Conflict: Bragg follows and attacks Colin at gondolas.
Hope/fear: Delaney will have a choice between her love for Colin and her loyalty to her quest for proof of ancestral authorship.
Fear/hope: What will they find at home if they can get back?
Subtext: Colin has a challenge, too, if his feelings for Delaney are strong enough to overcome his common sense.
Arc: Colin’s fighting nature has arrived.
Bragg pulls a gun.
Brag offers Colin’s life for the manuscripts.
Instead, Delaney unfastens the pages and throws them into the wind down the valley.
Bragg climbs out to retrieve pages that cling to the gondola.
Delaney urges Colin to kill Bragg.
Colin climbs out to save Bragg and manuscript. The gondola almost arrives at the station, as Bragg falls. Because of Colin he won’t fall a great distance. His fate is unknown.
ACT FOUR
EXT. HOSPITAL DAY
Essence: Changes back home surprise them. Professor speaks now.
Hope: Their college aspirations are dashed. Colin and Delaney’s failed mission hurts, but it draws them closer.
Conflict: Laurel has taken their places.
Subtext: Othello brings the rings to Delaney, a man steals them. They have lost much of what the professor wanted.
Arc: Colin and Delaney have both become sleuths and hooked on mysteries.
They visit Professor. Laurel has found her calling is caring for the ailing man. Professor is gaining movement and may recall much of his lost manuscript. He has lost his position because of he is not strong enough to fulfill his teaching duties or to address the controversy. Colin insists that no life is worth losing to save the manuscripts. The men and women involved are long dead, anyway.
Othello bursts in.
Colin shoves women behind him and prepares to fight.
Othello hands over blurred pages. He gives Colin a letter. Although Bragg is alive and is grateful Colin tried to save him, someone else is after the information. This controversy is far from over. (Or he brings in Bragg).
Professor agrees it should end. Still, there is much nobody knows about the lost plays.
EXT./INT. ADMINSTRATION BUILDING – DAY
Colin goes to find out why they put professor out to pasture and meets Delaney there. They sit outside and argue. She yells when a man steals her packages. Colin chases and tackles Hunter. He drags him into the ad building. Delaney follows and confronts the President. She has clout.
EXT. HOSPITAL – DAY
Laurel wheels professor out on the lawn. Colin informs him that Hunter has is the attacker.
Professor convinces Colin he should go back to Europe to track other lost plays.
INT. AIRPLANE DAY
Essence: Colin boards plane.
Hope: Colin won’t be alone.
Subtext: He is late for the boarding.
Conflict: He travels a different path from his old one.
Arc: No longer on the fence or non-confrontational.
On the plane Colin goes to his seat and it’s next to Delaney. She has clout.
The end
0 -
Joyce’s Scene Requirements.
Vision: to create memorable movie scripts actors want to perform.
WIL: I have to post what I have and not worry if it is half-baked or not.
Genre: Action / Drama CARDENIO LOST
ACT One
EXIT. INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY – DAY
#1 hope
Graduate students face the last semester to earn a PHD. Essence: the class is divided in position they take about Shakespeare controversy.
Subtext embeds this division. There is also a conflict among the members of the class which causes jealousy.
In the library among the shelves several students search for books. COLIN FAIRBANKS, graduate student, reaches for a heavy volume, but before he pulls it, LAUREL GOODE, sexy classmate, yanks his shoulder to face her. Her mission is to seduce Colin and have him write her dissertation and cheat on the finals. He refuses. The big book falls and Collin moves Laurel out of the way.
#2
EXIT. / INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY – DAY
Essence: The sides begin to form. Colin is most intelligent in the class, but he is a dud around women.
DELANEY another classmate, approaches the library. In the main room she sits by HUNTER, engrossed in a newspaper in the current periodicals, and she teases him. She has never seen him go to the library. He tries to wriggle his way out since computers provide enormous information and he never saw her study anything until today. Hunter follows Delaney to nonfiction.
Colin collects several volumes and hands them to Laurel. She declares he can’t resist her. She kisses him. Delaney and Hunter interrupt Laurel’s clinch, an embarrassment for Colin. Laurel accuses Hunter of dropping a book at her. He denies it and shifts accusations to Laurel because she came to study with Colin. Laurel storms off in a huff with Hunter close behind. Delaney ridicules Colin for falling for Laurel’s motives.
Subtext: What is Hunter up to? Is he merely determined to be graduated and why does he help Laurel?
Essence: Colin is uncomfortable with sexy women,
Conflict between Hunter and Colin.
He tries to avoid Laurel by the 820’s stacks She asks him to write her dissertation and kisses him.
He won’t cheat for her. A large book drops from the top shelf on Colin.
Hunter and Delaney interrupt as Colin fumbles with the book.
Colin blames Hunter. Backs off from a scuffle.
Hunter assures him if he did it, he wouldn’t have missed.
EXT. GRADUATE STUDIES BUILDING – DAY
Grad students cram through the doorway while Colin holds it open and make fun of him.
INT. LECTURE ROOM – DAY
Essence: the class professor has an interest in their standing about the controversy.
Conflict: One of them will be the professor’s assistant for the last semester.
Hope/fear: Colin is a shoe-in, but he can’t accept., even though he needs the financial help.
Scene arc: Colin corrects Hunter’s explanation.
PROFESSOR GRAYDON ALEXANDRES draws three rings on a portable chalkboard. Inside the first he writes “concept,” the second, “research,” and third, “completion.” He points the chalk at Laurel and places an X between concept and research. She pulls books out of a satchel, library books. Delaney laughs at Laurel. There was no time for her to checkout books. Laurel whines that she couldn’t find her I.D. anyway. Her thesis will be to contrast Ophelia, Kate in “Taming of the Shrew,” Desdemona, Juliet about their poor choice of lovers. Hunter offers the only comment that her dissertation will run two pages at least.
Professor asks Hunter to discuss his project. Hunter stands beside the lectern. He strokes his chin, stares at the ceiling, turns to the others and recites lines from Hamlet’s “to be or not to be:.. His thesis concerns fathers and how they drive their children. He cites the “To be or not to be” quote. Professor with raised eyebrows nods at Colin whose looks suggest he is unwilling to comment. Professor clears his throat. Colin takes on the whole class in a discussion. His comments cause trouble, and the class ridicules him.
After a hot discussion about Hunter’s proposed thesis concerning questions in Shakespeare’s plays, such as in Macbeth and Hamlet. Hamlet’s soliloquy is like a debate topic, such as “resolved a decline in global reliance on the dollar would help international economies” and did not mean what Hunter proposes. Hunter attacks Colin whose elbow smacks Hunter’s nose accidentally.
Students break it up. Colin asks a series of questions. Hunter finally argues he has more than one idea and uses poor grammar, which Colin corrects. The entire class moans.
Professor announces that he will choose one of them as his assistant for the fall term from their applications. Since Delaney is in competition with all classmates, especially with Colin, for an assistant position during their last term toward a PHD. She shoots daggers at him.
#5
INT. PROFESSORS’ OFFICE – DAY
Essence: Colin opposes professor’s ideas, but admires the man.
Conflict: Professor wonders why Colin hasn’t applied.
Colin says it wouldn’t be a good fit because Professor’s remarks often collide with Colin’s beliefs. Colin dislikes the disputes.
Secret: Professor will not divulge how he has these pages.
Conflict: The controversy is no longer just a hot subject but dangerous. Much moneyuwill be lost.
Finished manuscript about the real authorship of Shakespearean plays and sonnets which is ready for publication may anger the current Shakespearean legacy advocates with this new evidence. It will cause an uproar among Shakespeare’s legacy, followers, the tourist industry, and publications.
#6
EXT. LECTURE ROOM – DAY
Essence: Colin dodges Delaney:
Will they ever be more than classmates, at odds , too?
Delaney follows Colin out of class and continues the arguments, but Colin leaves her in an elevator just as the doors are closing.
#7
INT./ EXT. ADMINISTRATION OFFICE – DAY
Essence: The society is prepared to stop the professor at any cost.
Conflict: He has a manuscript ready to reveal new evidence.
Hope/fear: on the part of Delaney. She dislikes Colin and will do anything to keep him out of her way.
Arc: From discussions and published books to threats.
Director looks out the window at the campus before he answers the two visitors at his desk, Cecil Bragg and Rosalind Sharp from the International Shakespeare Society.
He welcomes an endowment from them, but he wonders why Professor Alexander has anything to connected to it. They leave after giving a veiled threat.
#8
INT. / EXT. CAMPUS LIBRARY FOURTH FLOOR – DAY
Essence: The professor suffers a mysterious attack.
Hope/fear: We hope he will be able to publish his book.
Conflict: The manuscript is taken.
Subtext: Delaney doesn’t suffer from the attack although she is nearby.
Arc: Colin saves them.
Fourth floor houses the rare books with appropriate air control. The humidifier hisses. Professor looks up from his reading at the noise.
Delaney approaches him. She hopes that Colin isn’t the new assistant because of his blind disregard about the unmasking of Shakespeare.
Professor has no time for her.
The hissing continues.
When Professor nods and closes his eyes, Bragg steals the manuscript, but Delaney startles him and he drops it, so she steals it and staggers out with it into Colin’s arms.
Colin calls for help and goes back for the professor, who is unconscious.
#10
INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY MAIN FLOOR – DAY
Essence: Police question Colin.
HOpe: We hope he won’t be blamed.
Conflict: Delaney implicates him. They open the manuscript, filled with blank pages. Since professor can’t talk about what might be missing, Colin is set free and the case is ruled an accident caused by a faulty humidifier.
Arc: Police will watch Colin’s activities.
#11
INT. HOSPITAL – DAY
Essence: Professor is severely impaired after the attack.
Hope: We hope Colin can communicate with him.
Arc. Colin tries different methods to communicate with the impaired professor.
He fails again and again until professor blinks his eyes and moves an index finger.
Subtext: The movements seem to be a message, but what?
#12
INT. LECTURE ROOM – DAY
Essence: No classmates accept the police report.
Fear: The class has no professor, no chance to write dissertations. Now, finals will replace dissertations. They are suspicious and argue about who should investigate further. None of them wants to give up finals to play detective, so Laurel passes around straws in a cup.
Arc: Delaney admits that the manuscript is missing, and the professor can’t talk to explain where it is.
Hunter protests. Over-ruled.
Colin slumps with disappointment when he pulls the shortest straw.
Laurel offers to accompany him. Now Colin really looks frantic.
Delaney steps between them. She presents a fake shortened straw to be Colin’s assistant. It causes a heated discussion. Hunter takes Delaney aside and tells her to back off, but she says she will get the manuscript first, a real sacrifice since she dislikes Colin and his beliefs
Colin refuses to go and investigate. If he quits his studies now, it is impossible for him to continue with his PHD. Let Delaney handle the trip if she wants it so much. The others lean on his loyalty to the professor. No dice.
# 13
INT. ADMINISTRATION OFFICE – DAY
Essence: What can the university to do now the professor is hospitalized?
Subtext: The manuscript is their goal.
Fear: The opposition will take over.
Arc. The opposition doesn’t have the manuscript.
President of Graduate Studies at his desk with several visitors who expect the professor will be let go now that he is unable to speak. His tenure is of no use to him. The manuscript is a problem. Get the manuscript and any other information possible.
#14
INT. PROFESSOR’S OFFICE – DAY
Essence: Someone searched professor’s office. Office is trashed.
Subtext: Items that seem unimportant are collected by Colin and Delaney.
Colin searches for clues, collects acrostics and other symbols that may lead to the attacker and the manuscript the vandal missed. Bible, Shakespeare, Don Quixote, torn receipt for mailing a package.
Hope: They may have found a clue to the manuscript.
#15
INT./ HOSPITAL ROOM AND CORRIDOR – DAY
Essence: Professor is still in danger.
Hope: Will Colin and Delaney ignore it until forced to by an assailant?
Subtext: They will help the professor.
Arc. They stop fighting each other.
During a visit, Colin finds the hospital room empty. An aide tells him to wait because professor is having therapy. In a few moments Colin notices there is no scheduled therapy session listed on the nurse’s wall board. He chases a man down corridors and fails to stop him, but the professor, dumped out of his wheelchair, is lying on the floor. An attendant wheels him back to his room and a nurse exams him. Colin won’t leave until he is sure Professor is not worse for his accident.
A policeman interrogates Colin. Then, Delaney arrives. She claims that she didn’t see the intruder. Colin isn’t convinced that she didn’t. Still, he accepts Delaney’s offer to help retrieve information from the professor.
#16
INT. LAB – DAY
Essence: Colin examines the motor skills the professor lacks now.
Hope: Will the contraption he builds help with communication?
Conflict: The missing manuscript is only a part of the trouble.
Arc: Colin is actively working on Professor’s problems.
Subtext: Delaney works against him.
#17
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY
Essence: Colin uncovers Professor’s plan.
Hope/fear: Will Colin be able to carry it out?
Subtext: There are a few clues.
Arc: The manuscript isn’t on campus.
Arc:
With an old device Colin rigs for the professor to signal “yes” or “no” and communicate without speech, Colin begins to notice how the Professor is fighting to answer questions.
Reading the old relic, he gets a response from the professor’s gadget which point to a region in Spain where Professor sent his manuscript. In a town in Spain. they will find clues in the old play, Cardenio, which treasure seekers search for in Europe.
With grant money professor had Colin promises that he will investigate and find the manuscript.
Delaney insists she will accompany Colin to Europe. So neither will take the graduate finals or write dissertations. Colin’s PHD will be over.
ACT TWO
#18
INT. AIRPORT IMMIGRATION – DAY
Essence: The opposition sends authorities .
Fear: The will stop and hold Colin at the airport.
Colin’s Passport is revoked and confiscated.
Subtext: Why does Delaney stay with him?
Arc: They have to find a way to travel to Europe.
#19
EXT. SHIP – DAY
Essence: Without passports they may be arrested on shore.
Fear: The search may end.
Subtext: Delaney refuses to change her mind about Colin.
Arc: Colin shares dry clothes with her and she acctepts..
Delaney finds berths on a barge/steamer. They will not be able to return through legal immigration ports.
The Captain warns them police wait for them at their destination, so they jump overboard.
Delaney loses her suitcases.
#20
EXT. SPAIN – DAY
Essence: Colin sees how attractive Delaney can be.
Hope: We want them to be friends.
Conflict: They have separate reasons to get the manuscript.
Subtext: Delaney keeps Colin away.
Arc: She softens a little.
The two make it to shore. Colin is surprised to see soaking wet Delaney without glasses and severe hair style. She dries out and looks very attractive.
She has no other clothes, but ever-organized Colin has a dry shirts to lend her. She thanks him half-heartedly. She desperately wants the manuscript and pretends she is helping Colin, but she plans to get the manuscript first.
@21
INT. HOTEL – DAY
Essence: Colin has some of Professor’s evidence from his office. It points to the lost play, Cardenio.
Hope: Will they be able to find more of it?
Conflict: Delaney may keep information from Colin.
Subtext: Her arguments begin to give away her goals.
Arc: Colin sees a pattern in the clues.
#22
EXT. SPAIN – DAY
Essence: They have to investigate old play scripts.
Hope: Somebody must have family ties to Professor.
Subtext: Delaney finds more information from the enemy, Bragg.
Arc: A reveal shows her real intentions.
Then, Colin interviews people who had ancestors who acted in Cardenio centuries before this. They give him information. Bragg is following them. Delaney steers Colin the wrong way.
Delaney meets Bragg secretly. Bragg threatens to kill Colin. Delaney agrees to give him whatever they find.
#23
EXT./ INT. TRAIN – DAY
Essence: Colin and Delaney follow the clues to the mountains.
Fear: Does he realize someone is following them?
Conflict: Bragg confronts Delaney on a train.
Arc. Delaney sabotages Colin’s secret mission.
ACT THREE
#24
EXT. TOWN – DAY
Essence: Colin has ideas that there are clues in a small town.
Fear: Will they have been destroyed over the centuries?
Conflict: Delaney wants them for her own purposes.
Arc: Another enemy is added.
Delaney and Colin go to the cathedral for clues.
An old priest seems helpful, but he turns on them when he learns what they want. A young priest comes forward. He has seen Cardenio written on an old script, but much of it came from Don Quixote.
#25
EXT. TOWN HALL – DAY
Essence: People will not answer questions about “Don Quixote”.
Fear: They harbor old grievances about their beloved book.
Conflict: The young sends them to to the town archives.
INT. ARCHIVES – DAY
Essence:
Essence: Colin discovers crypto.
Hope: Will his information lead to the lost play?
Subtext: An official hands them a copy of a scrap of play script, numbered 58, that many inquiries that year, mostly by email. It does exist somewhere in Spain.
Arc: They are getting closer.
#26
EXT. TOWN BAR – DAY
Essence: Townspeople threatens them.
Fear: Will they survive?
Subtext: Delaney feels sorry for Collin.
Arc: Bragg is becoming fed up with Delaney.
In a bar they learn more about the manuscript and the old play. Patrons are belligerent. Their hero is Cervantes, and they are indignant even today that Don Quixote is the source for Cardenio. Delaney pulls Colin out before he gets too hurt.
Delaney insists she has no information for
Bragg, yet. He threatens Colin’s safety. No one will find him.They return to the cathedral.
EXT./INT. CATHEDRAL – NIGHT
Essence: Colin believes there are icons and other clues.
Fear: They will be found searching.
Subtext: Clues they missed have more meaning.
Conflict: The old priest told them to stay away.
Arc: Colin is committed to this search.
Vespers are over. Colin and Delaney hide in the church. When no one remains but them, they search for hiding places in carvings and statuary for artifacts and clues.
Delaney finds three rings, but she hides them.
EXT. TOWN – DAY
Essence: The opposition is strengthening.
Fear: The journey has more danger than they realized.
Conflict: Some people like Bragg will stop them from finding and returning the manuscript.
Subtext: Delaney struggles with her feelings about Colin and he dedication to find what they are looking for.
Arc: She will help Colin find it and then take it.
Three men from the bar surround them. Colin and Delaney fight their way and escape.
#27
EXT. TOWN – HOTEL – NIGHT
Essence: The first attractive woman to be fond of Colin is Delaney and she doesn’t want to be attractive to him.
Hope: We hope she won’t betray him.
Subtext: She wants to validate her family’s ancestral authorship of Shakespeare’s plays.
Arc: She treats Colin with affection.
Delaney has softened toward Colin. She dresses his cuts. Colin is comfortable with her. He admits he cares more about Delaney than Shakespeare’s legacy. She promises to help, but afterwards she wants an equal playing field.
#28
EXT. MOUNTAIN RESORT – DAY
Essence: Clues lead them to a mountain town.
Hope: No one seems to follow them.
Subtext: Delaney makes excuses.
Conflict: Colin discovers Delaney hides information from him.
Arc: Colin loses the last bit of confidence in her.
There are no rooms available. Ski season is late but the resort will be busy shortly. When they have lunch, Delaney complains about her foot. Colin pulls off her boot before she can stop him. On three toes she has a ring. The rings set in a pile have a spear design. Colin is furious. Stealing is against his principles.
#29
EXT. / INT. FAMILY CABIN – DAY
Essence: He wants to finish the investigation and go home.
Hope: His determination grows and he makes better headway.
Subtext: He has pages of Cardenio in his hands.
Arc: Against his better judgment he shows Delaney.
Colin interviews a family in the mountains. They have old play scripts passed down about “Cardenio”. They share one with Colin. He tells Delaney.
#28
EXT. CABIN – DAY
Essence: Delaney confesses.
Hope: Now she can quit betraying him.
Conflict. Bragg won’t let her.
Arc: Delaney and Colin are in danger, so she steals the manuscript. for
Bragg.(Colin must earn this.) They rent a cabin. She reveals that many of her ancestors have been related to kings, princes, and other royalty and men who may have authored the Shakespearean plays. She is related to Macbeth, and Duncan, Southampton, de Vere, the Nevilles and several monarchs from William the Conqueror to the present day Spencers, and the seventeen century ancestors may be the real authors. Their history means so much to her. She kisses him now that she approves of his good qualities. Colin figures out clues to the manuscript sent to professor’s contact in Europe. She knows what the professor has discovered, but she may die for it.
Delaney steals the manuscripts Colin has.
#29
EXT./INT. CABIN – DAY
Essence: Colin discovers Delaney has betrayed him to Bragg.
Fear: What will he do?
Conflict: Colin has to protect the manuscript. and prove worthy to these people.
Arc. He has become a fighter.
Colin goes for help, but Delaney has other plans. She contacts Bragg. He confesses that he doesn’t care about Shakespeare’s legacy or about the new evidence about other authors, he wants to sell to the highest bidder.
#30
EXT. SPAIN – DAY
Essence: Delaney has a chance to give Bragg the manuscript, but she doesn’t.
Fear: She is in more danger.
Subtext: The manuscript and plyy script have taken on great importance.
Arc: No one is safe from the opposition.
After Delaney deceives Bragg, he kidnaps her in their rented vehicle. When the car wrecks, they go on foot.
#31
EXT. SPAIN – DAY
Essence: Colin is ready to abandon Delaney, but has a change of heart.
Hope/fear: Will he be able to rescue her?
Conflict: It is Colin against Bragg.
Arc: The betrayer is the victim.
Colin picks up Delaney’s trail. Delaney tricks the attacker and leaves Clues for Colin to reach her. He saves Delaney.
#32
EXT. SPAIN – DAY
They carry the manuscripts over the mountain pass to tourist resort gondolas.
#33
EXT. SPAIN – DAY
Essence: They go for help at the ski resort.
Hope/fear: Will Bragg catch up with them?
Conflict: Bragg will not give up easily.
Arc: Delaney and Colin are working together.
Bragg follows and attacks Colin. Bragg pulls a gun.
Brag offers Colin’s life for the manuscripts. Instead, Delaney unfastens the pages and throws them into the wind down the valley. Bragg climbs out to retrieve pages that cling to the gondola. Delaney urges Colin to kill Bragg. Colin climbs out to save him, but Bragg falls.
ACT FOUR
#34
EXT. HOMELAND – DAY
Essence: They don’t have everything the professor wanted, but it does not matter anymore. They learn that others have rewritten Cardenio and performed it..
Fear/hope: What will they find at home fi they can get back?
Conflict: They have no passports and authorities are looking for them.
Arc: They have become good as sleuths.
Colin and Delaney sneak back home.
Colin and Delaney’s failed mission hurts, but it draws them closer.
#35
Ext. Hospital – Day
Essence: Surprises meet them.
Hope: Will Colin forgive Delaney for working against him?
Conflict: Someone else attacked Professor.
Subtext/reveal : Hunter is the real enemy. Colin turns Hunter over to police.
Arc: Colin has lost his graduate degree, but he has found something else he likes more.
They visit Professor. Laurel wins the assistant’s position. She has found her calling is caring for the ailing man, who is gaining movement and may recall much of his lost manuscript. Colin insists that no life is worth losing to save the manuscripts. The men and women involved are long dead, anyway.
Professor signals that he agrees. Still, there is much nobody knows about the lost plays.
Professor begs them to go back to Europe to track down other lost plays.
#36
Colin and Delaney say goodbye to their classmates at the airport, as they fly to Europe.
0 -
Joyce’s Scene Requirements
Vision: to create memorable movie scripts that actors want to perform.
WIL: I see I have to have more conflict in action.
Genre: Action / Drama CARDENIO LOST
ACT One
EXT. GRADUATE STUDIES BUILDING – DAY
Grad students cram through the doorway while Colin holds it open and make fun of him.
INT. LECTURE ROOM – DAY
The professor announces that he will choose one of them as his assistant for the fall term from their applications, but he wonders why Colin hasn’t applied.
Colin says it wouldn’t be a good fit because Professor’s finished manuscript about the real authorship of Shakespearean plays and sonnets which is ready for publication may anger the current Shakespearean legacy advocates with this new evidence. It will cause an uproar among Shakespeare’s legacy, followers, the tourist industry, and publications. Colin dislikes the disputes.
Hunter laughs.
Professor reads a tattered page from “Cardenio”, an old play script with notations in the margins, that he says is his proudest possession. The play, one of four Shakespeare’s late ones, was never published.
Professor will not divulge how he has these pages.
Professor asks Hunter, Laurel, and Ed “What is the essence of your dissertation?”
Colin takes on the whole class in a discussion. His comments cause trouble, and the class ridicules him. After a hot discussion about Hunter’s proposed thesis concerning questions in Shakespeare’s plays, such as in Macbeth and Hamlet. Hamlet’s soliloquy is like a debate topic, such as “resolved a decline in global reliance on the dollar would help international economies” and did not mean what Hunter proposes.
Hunter attacks Colin whose elbow smacks Hunter’s nose accidentally.
Students break it up.
EXT. LECTURE ROOM – DAY
Delaney follows Colin out of class and continues the arguments, but Colin leaves her in an elevator just as the doors are closing.
INT./ EXT. ADMINISTRATION OFFICE – DAY
Director looks out the window at the campus before he answers the two visitors at his desk, Cecil Bragg and Rosalind Sharp from the International Shakespeare Society.
He welcomes an endowment from them, but he wonders why Professor Alexander has anything to connected to it. They leave after giving a veiled threat.
INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY – DAY
Colin, uncomfortable with sexy women, tries to avoid Laurel by the 820’s stacks
She asks him to write her dissertation and kisses him.
He won’t cheat for her. A large book drops from the top shelf on Colin.
Hunter and Delaney interrupt as Colin fumbles with the book.
Colin blames Hunter. Backs off from a scuffle.
Hunter assures him if he did it, he wouldn’t have missed.
INT. / EXT. CAMPUS LIBRARY FOURTH FLOOR – DAY
Fourth floor houses the rare books with appropriate air control. The humidifier hisses. Professor looks up from his reading at the noise.
Delaney approaches him. She hopes that Colin isn’t the new assistant because of his blind disregard about the unmasking of Shakespeare.
Professor has no time for her.
The hissing continues.
When Professor nods and closes his eyes, Bragg steals the manuscript, but Delaney startles him and he drops it, so she steals it and staggers out with it into Colin’s arms.
Colin calls for help and goes back for the professor, who is unconscious.
When police question Colin, Delaney implicates him. The manuscript is filled with blank pages, so she is released. Since nothing is missing, Colin is set free and the case is ruled an accident caused by a faulty humidifier. Police will watch Colin.
INT. HOSPITAL – DAY
Colin hopes he can find a way to communicate with the impaired professor.
His hope rises when professor blinks his eyes and moves an index finger.
EXT. CAMPUS LIBRARY – DAY
No classmates accept the police report. Delaney admits that the manuscript is missing, and the professor can’t explain where it is.
Now, finals will replace dissertations. They are suspicious and argue about who should investigate further. None of them wants to give up finals to play detective, so Laurel brings straws in a cup.
Colin pulls the shortest straw.
Delaney fakes the next shorter straw to go with Colin after the manuscript, a real sacrifice since she dislikes him and what he believes.
If Colin quits his studies now, it is impossible for him to continue with his PHD, but they lean on his loyalty to the professor. He still refuses.
EXT. HOSPITAL – DAY
At a second attempt on Professor’s life, Colin chases a man and fails.
Delaney bumps into Colin and offers her help with the professor. Colin questions if she saw the intruder. He is not convinced. Still, he accepts Delaney’s help. And they collect acrostics and other symbols that may be clues to the attacker and the manuscript.
He uses an old device to help the professor communicate without speech. Colin asks him more questions. He rigs a contraption for the professor to signal “yes” or “no”.
Reading the old relic, he gets a response from the professor’s gadget which point to a region in Spain where Professor sent his manuscript. There they will find clues in the old play, Cardenio, which treasure seekers search for in Europe.
With grant money professor had Colin promises that he will investigate and find the manuscript.
Delaney insists she will accompany Colin to Europe. So neither will take the graduate finals or write dissertations. Colin’s PHD will be over.
INT. AIRPORT IMMIGRATION – DAY
Colin’s Passport is revoked and confiscated.
EXT. SHIP – DAY
Delaney finds berths on a barge/steamer. They will not be able to return through legal immigration ports.
The Captain warns them police wait for them at their destination, so they jump overboard.
Delaney loses her suitcases.
ACT TWO
EXT. SPAIN – DAY
The two make it to shore. Colin is surprised to see soaking wet Delaney without glasses and severe hair style. She dries out and looks very attractive.
She has no other clothes, but ever-organized Colin has a dry shirts to lend her. She thanks him half-heartedly. She desperately wants the manuscript and pretends she is helping Colin, but she plans to get the manuscript first.
INT. HOTEL – DAY
The clues are right before them, and yet they can’t decipher them.
EXT. SPAIN – DAY
Then, Colin interviews people who had ancestors who acted in Cardenio centuries before this. They give him information. Bragg is following them. Delaney steers Colin the wrong way.
Delaney meets Bragg secretly. Bragg threatens to kill Colin. Delaney agrees to give him whatever they find.
EXT./ INT. TRAIN – DAY
Colin and Delaney follow the clues to the mountains. He realizes someone is still following them.
Bragg confronts Delaney on a train. Delaney sabotages their secrecy.
ACT THREE
EXT. TOWN – DAY
Delaney and Colin go to the cathedral for clues.
EXT. TOWN HALL – DAY
A priest sends them to to the town archives. An official hands them a scrap of the play script. It does exist somewhere in Spain.
EXT. TOWN BAR – DAY
In a bar they learn more about the manuscript and the old play. Patrons are belligerent. Their hero is Cervantes, and they are indignant even today that Don Quixote is the source for Cardenio. Delaney pulls Colin out before he gets too hurt.
EXT. TOWN – HOTEL – NIGHT
Their fighting is over, too. Delaney has softened. She dresses his cuts and soft talks. Colin is comfortable with her, cozy, romantic. He admits he cares more about Delaney than the Shakespeare legacy. She promises to help, but afterwards she wants an equal playing field.
EXT. / INT. FAMILY CABIN – DAY
Colin interviews a family in the mountains. They have old play scripts passed down about “Cardenio”. They share one with Colin. He tells Delaney. (He has to do something to earn this.) They rent them a cabin.
EXT. CABIN – DAY
She reveals that many of her ancestors have been related to kings, princes, and other royalty and men who may have authored the Shakespearean plays. She is related to Macbeth, and Duncan, Southampton, de Vere, the Nevilles and several monarchs from William the Conqueror to the present day Spencers, and the seventeen century ancestors may be the real authors. Their history means so much to her. She kisses him now that she approves of his good qualities. Colin figures out clues to the manuscript sent to professor’s contact in Europe. She knows what the professor has discovered, but she may die for it.
Delaney steals the manuscripts Colin has.
EXT./INT. CABIN – DAY
The cabin door is stuck from snow heaped on it. (?) Colin discovers Delaney has betrayed him to Bragg. Colin goes for help, but Delaney has other plans. She contacts Bragg. He confesses that he doesn’t care about Shakespeare’s legacy or about the new evidence about other authors, he wants to sell to the highest bidder.
EXT. SPAIN – DAY
After Delaney deceives Bragg, he kidnaps her in their rented vehicle. When the car wrecks, they go on foot. Colin picks up Delaney’s trail. Delaney tricks the attacker and leaves clues for Colin to reach her. He saves Delaney.
EXT. SPAIN – DAY
They carry the manuscripts over the mountain to the tourist gondolas.
Bragg follows and attacks Colin. Bragg pulls a gun.
Brag offers Colin’s life for the manuscripts. Instead, Delaney unfastens the pages and throws them into the wind down the valley. Bragg climbs out to retrieve pages that cling to the gondola. Delaney urges Colin to kill Bragg. Colin climbs out to save him, but Bragg falls.
ACT FOUR
EXT. HOMELAND – DAY
Colin and Delaney sneak back home.
Colin and Delaney’s failed mission hurts, but it draws them closer.
Ext. Hospital – Day
They visit Professor. Laurel wins the assistant’s position. She has found her calling is caring for the ailing man, who is gaining movement and may recall much of his lost manuscript. Colin insists that no life is worth losing to save the manuscripts. The men and women involved are long dead, anyway.
Professor signals that he agrees. Still, there is much nobody knows about the lost plays.
Professor sends them to Europe to track down other lost plays.
Colin and Delaney say goodbye to their classmates at the airport, as they fly to Europe.
0 -
<strong style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Joyce’s Intriguing Moments
Vision: to create memorable movie scripts that actors want to perform.
WIL: A complex plot is nothing without intriguing moments.
Cardenio Lost
<strong style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>ACT ONE
Professor reads a tattered page from “Cardenio”, an old play script with notations in the margins, that he says is his proudest possession for the play, one of four Shakespeare’s late ones, was never published,
The professor announces that he has written a book and the manuscript is ready for publication about the real authorship of Shakespearean plays and sonnets.
He wants Colin to be his assistant, but Colin doesn’t have the same beliefs.
Colin goes inside the rare books rooms and finds Delaney gasping and Professor, unconscious, He calls for help.
Colin draws the short straw and is sent to follow clues for the impaired professor.
Delaney is related to royalty far back to William the Conqueror and wants justice., so she is belligerent in class and devious.
ACT TWO
Delaney insists she will go with Colin to Europe to search for clues revealed in Cardenio, leading to the stolen manuscript, so neither will take the graduate finals or write dissertations.
Police question Colin.
Their passports are revoked, so they book berths on a barge to Europe .
Police wait for them at their destination, and they swim to shore in Spain.
Delaney without glasses and severe hair style, dries out, and Colin considers her very attractive. She weakens her dislike.
Clues are found, and yet they can’t decipher them.
People who had ancestors who acted in Cardenio centuries before this hand them other pages of the play script.
Someone is following them.
Colin discovers Delaney has betrayed him to Bragg.
Bragg kidnaps her.
Colin rescues her and she confesses that her ancestors are on the lists of would-be authors of Shakespeare’s plays, and she will prove it.
Bragg attacks Colin.
Brag offers Colin’s life in exchange for the manuscripts.
Instead, Delaney unfastens them and throws them from the mountain gondola into the valley.
Bragg climbs out to retrieve pages and Colin struggles to save him, but Bragg falls.
ACT FOUR
Colin and Delaney sneak back into the country.
They report to the Professor.
Laurel found her calling is to care for the ailing man.
Colin insists that no life is worth losing to save the manuscripts because the men and women involved are dead.
Professor convinces both of them to search for three other plays never published.
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Joyce’s Emotional moments
Vision: to crate memorable movie scripts that actors want to perform.
WIL: This will be repeated before I write the entire outline since it is important for the audience to feel empathy and dread for different characters.
ACT One.
Emotional Dilemma: Colin, uncomfortable with sexy women in general, falls victim to Laurel’s attention. When she kisses him among the library stacks, she asks him to write her dissertation. He won’t cheat for her, so she turns to Champion and together they badger him before the class begins.
Betrayal: Delaney witnesses this encounter and sees the large volume which drops from the top shelf on Colin.
Surprise: The professor announces that he has written a book and the manuscript is ready for publication about the real authorship of Shakespearean plays and sonnets.
Champion laughs.
Courage: Colin takes on the whole class in a discussion about Champion’s research for his dissertation.
Surprise: Professor reads a tattered page from “Cardenio”, an old play script with notations in the margins, that he says is his proudest possession for the play, one of four Shakespeare’s late ones, was never published. He will not divulge how he has this page. he will be the next graduate assistant.
Excitement: Students linger after class. Champion attacks Colin whose elbow smacks Champion’s nose.
Hidden Weakness: To avoid more confrontation Colin fools Delaney, who follows him out of class and continues the arguments, by leaving an elevator just as the doors are closing.
Surprise: In Professor’s office he glances at the manuscript. He asks for time to think about the assistant position because he doesn’t agree with the professor’s ideas.
Distress: When Colin goes to the rare book floor, Delaney staggers out with Professor’s manuscript. Colin calls for help and goes inside the rooms to find Professor, who is unconscious.
Distress: Police question Colin and Delaney. The manuscript is filled with blank pages, so she is released. Since nothing is missing, Colin is set free and the case is ruled an accident caused by a faulty humidifier.
Act Two
Emotional Dilemma: At the hospital Colin can’t tell the professor that he doesn’t want the assistant position. Instead, he studies him and hopes he can find a way to communicate with the impaired man.
Excitement: No one in class accepts the police report. They argue about who should investigate further. Laurel brings straws. Colin pulls the shortest.
Emotional Dilemma: If Colin quits his studies now, it is impossible for him to continue with his PHD, but he is loyal to the professor.
Courage: During a visit to the professor there is a second attempt on the man’s life. Colin chases him, but he misses. He brings a device to help the professor communicate without speech.
Success: Reading the old relic, he gets a response from the professor’s gadget. Colin asks him more questions.
Sacrifice: Delaney insists she will go with Colin to Europe to search for clues revealed in Cardenio, so neither will take the graduate finals or any dissertations.
Distress: Their passports are revoked and confiscated at the airport immigration office. Delaney finds berths on a barge/steamer.
Distress: Police wait for them at their destination, so they jump overboard.
Bonding: A soaking wet Delaney without glasses and severe hair style, dries out and is very attractive. She has no dry clothes, but ever-organized Colin has dry shirts. She can borrow one. She seems to like him more.
Act Three
Emotional Dilemma: The clues are right before them, and yet they can’t decipher them. Then, Colin interviews people who had ancestors who acted in Cardenio centuries before this. They hand him another page of the play script.
Excitement: Colin and Delaney follow the clues to the lower Alps. She reveals that many of her ancestors have been related to kings, princes, and other royalty and men who may have authored the Shakespearean plays.
Betrayal: After Delaney meets Bragg, she steals the manuscripts Colin finds, and she hides them. Bragg kidnaps her. He reveals to her that he doesn’t care about Shakespeare’s legacy or about the new evidence about other authors, he wants to sell to the highest bidder.
Courage: Colin saves Delaney. They carry the manuscripts up the mountain to the gondolas. Bragg follows and attacks Colin.
Surprise: Brag offers Colin’s life for the manuscripts. Instead, Delaney unfastens them and throws them into the valley. Bragg climbs out to retrieve what he can that clings to the gondola. Delaney urges Colin to kill Bragg. Colin steps back. Bragg falls to his death. Colin and Delaney sneak back into the country.
Act 4
Wounds: Colin and Delaney’s failed mission hurts, but it draws them closer. They visit Professor. Laurel is there. She has found her calling is to care for the ailing man, who is gaining and may recall much of his manuscript. They uphold Colin’s stand that no life is worth losing to save the manuscripts. The men and women involved are long dead, anyway. Professor signals that he agrees. Still, there is much nobody knows about the lost plays. Clin and Delaney say goodbye to their classmates at the airport, as they fly to Europe to track down the lost plays.
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Joyce’s Reveals
vision: to create memorable movie scripts that actors want to perform.
WIL: The questions I have about details can wait. The structure is more important.
“Cardenio Lost”
Genre: Action / Drama
ACT 1:
PJ. 1 Colin tries to avoid sexy Laurel in the library 800’s but she kisses him.
Reveal: Laurel pretends that Colin is her lover, a ploy which embarrasses him and flatters him, too.
PJ.2. A book falls on them from a high shelf.
PJ.3. Colin fumbles with books. and Laurel leaves with Champion who will help her pass the finals.
AJ. 4. Delaney appears after she witnesses the kiss and the book.
PJ. 5. Colin pulls several books from the shelves with Delaney dogging him.
PJ. 6 Colin tricks Delaney into an elevator, but he exits seconds before the doors close.
P. J. 7 Before class begins Fellow graduate students antagonize him.
Triangle: 8. Professor announces his forthcoming publication and hints that his manuscript will anger the current Shakespearean legacy advocates with the real truth about the authorship of Shakespeare’s plays.
Deeper Layer: Colin is against the argument the professor wants published., but he needs an assistant position the professor has open.
AJ. 9 Delaney feels the class should promote professor’s research.
PJ. 10 After a hot discussion about Champion’s proposed thesis concerning questions in Shakespeare’s plays, such as in Macbeth and Hamlet, Colin is attacked by Champion and overtly socks him.
PJ.11. Colin explains how Hamlet’s soliloquy is like a debate topic, such as “resolved a decline in global reliance on the dollar would help international economies” and did not mean what Champion proposes.
Triangle: When the class is over. Professor calls Colin into his office and offers him an associate position.
Reveal.
PJ. 12 Colin reads notes professor for the forthcoming manuscript and opposes the radical ideas in the publication.
PJ. 13 Colin asks for more time to decide and insure Colin’s PHD.
AJ. 14. Delaney overhears them and follows the professor to the library rare book section to confront him about his decision to give Colin an associate position.
AJ. 15 On the rare books floor Delaney argues with professor because he refuses to change his decision,
Triangle: Professor demands she must leave him alone to work on additional pages of his book.
AJ. 16 The only two there she steals his manuscript and stays in the next section away from professor,
AJ 17. She opens the manuscript, but it is blank.
TP. 18. As the air control that preserves the rare volumes hisses, the professor becomes unconscious.
PJ. 19. Colin goes to find the professor and discovers him and an incoherent Delaney.
PJ. 20 Colin drags her out from there, calls for help, and goes back for the professor.
INCITING INCIDENT:
21. The police suspect that Colin tampered with the air controls.
AJ. 22. Delaney witnesses that the manuscript is missing and that Colin may know where it is.
Triangle: 23. The professor is seriously impaired and can’t explain about the manuscript.
Deeper Level:
24. Police treat the affair as an accident with a faulty air control.
PJ. 25. Colin becomes the associate and finals will replace dissertations.
PJ. 26. Colin loses when the majority decides to investigate but none of them wants to give up finals to play detective, so they draw straws.
PJ. 27. The investigation will end his graduate studies.
Setup.
AJ. 28. Delaney fakes the next shorter straw to go with Colin after the manuscript, a real sacrifice since she dislikes him and what he believes.
Deeper Layer.
Reveal.
AJ. 29. She desperately wants the manuscript and has to pretend she is helping Colin, even though it will cause an uproar among Shakespeare’s followers, the tourism, and his legacy, she has to get the manuscript first.
PJ. 30. Colin ekes out information, from the ailing Professor to set up a way that they can get a clue.
Turning Point
PJ. 31. Colin rigs a contraption for the professor to signal “yes” or “no”.
PJ. 32. Colin chases a suspicious man but loses him.
Setup
AJ. 33. Delaney bumps into Colin and offers her help with the professor.
PJ. Colin questions if she saw the intruder.
Triangle. 34. Although the professor can’t write or speak, he can move his fingers.
PJ. 35. Colin accepts Delaney’s help, and they collect acrostics and other symbols for Professor’s clues to his attacker and his manuscript.
Deeper Level.
Setup.
Triangle. A 36. Answers can be found in an unpublished play “Cardenio”, which treasure seekers search for in Europe.
TURNING POINT. The grant money professor had will be used to find what they can about Cardenio in Europe.
ACT 2:
Inciting incident. 34. Colin and Delaney are stopped at the airport and lose their passports to authorities.
Deeper Level: They will not be able to return through legal immigration ports.
AJ: 37. Delaney pulls strings, with family ties and they sail to Europe on a barge.
They receive a warning that they will be apprehended at the dock.
Setup.
DJ and AJ. 36. They jump overboard.
AJ. 38. Holds on to one suitcase and loses a second one.
Reveal.
AJ. On shore she has lost her glasses and her hair is loosened, not like the dowdy student she portrayed but an attractive woman.
PJ. 39. Colin shares his shirts with her. and admits he cares more about Delaney than the Shakespeare legacy.
PJ.40. Setup. In Europe Colin sharpens his wits for they are being followed.
AJ. 41. Delaney pretends to care for Colin, and she kisses him, but she becomes aware of his good qualities.
Turning point
AJ. 42. Delaney promises to help find the manuscript, but after that she wants an equal playing field.
Reveal.
AJ. 43. Delaney meets Bragg secretly.
AJ. 44. Bragg is a more dangerous antagonist than she is and threatens to kill Colin.
AJ. 45. Delaney agrees to get him the manuscript to save Colin.
AJ. 46. Setup. Delaney sabotages their secrecy.
PJ. 47. After Colin finds a family who have information passed down about “Cardenio” and three other plays never printed in a folio, he shares with Delaney.
DEEPER LEVEL REVEAL:
AJ. 48. Delaney confesses she isn’t a struggling graduate student, but from an aristocratic background.
Turning Point
PJ: 49.:Colin figures out clues to the manuscript sent to professor’s contact in Europe.
AJ. 50. Delaney steals it and tells Colin she knows what the professor has discovered.
Act 3:
Deeper Reveal
PJ. 48. Colin learns that In Delaney’s family tree are aristocrats and noblemen as ancestors who may be the real authors of Shakespeare’s works, but she may die for it.
AJ. 49. Delaney hides the manuscript,.
#2 AJ. 50; The real antagonist, the attacker, kidnaps Delaney.
AJ. 51. Delaney promises to share Cardenio with him.
PJ. 51. In the lowlands of the Alps, Colin picks up Delaney’s trail.
AJ. 52. Delaney tricks the attacker and leaves clues for Colin to reach her.
Turning point :
PJ. 53. Colin fights Bragg and rescues Delaney.
AJ. 54. Bragg tracks them and confronts Delaney on a train.
PJ. 55. Colin fights Bragg to save Delaney and the manuscript.
AJ. 56. Bragg pulls a gun on Colin.
AJ. 57 Delaney tears open the manuscript and throws it into the wind, as the train goes over a trestle.
AJ. 58 Bragg attempts to recover it and dies.
Act 4:
Reveal
AJ. 59. Delaney reveals she is related to Macbeth, and Duncan, Southhampton, de Vere, the Nevilles and several monarchs from William the Conqueror to the present day Spencers. And the seventeen century ancestors may be the real author.
PJ. 60. Convinces Delaney that it just doesn’t matter who wrote the plays and poems.
PJ. 61. Colin and Delaney sneak back into the country.
Resolution
P.J. 62. Colin fails in his journey, but he helps the professor communicate to reconstruct the manuscript.
Climax
AJ. and PJ. 63. Delaney hires Laurel to care for professor so that she and Colin can return to Italy to find proof of the other three plays which were performed but never published.
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Joyce’s Dharacter Action Tracks
Cardenio Lost
To create memorable movie scripts that actorrs want to perform.
WIL: I paused to research my subject to fulfillthe requirement for action.
Genre: Action / Drama
ACT 1:
P. J. 1. Before class Fellow graduate studentsantagonize him.
Triangle: 2. Professor announces his forthcoming publication and hints that his manuscript will anger the current Shakespearean legacy advocates with the real truth about the authorship of Shakespeare’s plays..
Deeper Layer: Colin is against the argument the professor wants published., but he needs an assistant position the professor has open.
AJ. 3. Delaney feels the class should promote professor’s research.
PJ. 4. After a hot discussion about Champion’s proposed thesis concerning questions in Shakespeare’s plays, such as in Macbeth and Hamlet, Colin is attacked by Champion and overtly socks him. He explains how Hamlet’s soliloquy is like a debate topic, such as “resolved a decline in global reliance on the dollar would help international economies”and did not mean what Champion proposes.
Triangle: When the class is over. Professor calls Colin into his office and offers him an associate position.
PJ. 5. Colin reads notes professor for the forthcoming manuscript and opposes the radical ideas in the publication.
PJ. 6. Colin asks for more time to decide realizing that will insure Colin’s PHD.
AJ. 7. Delaney overhears them and follows the professor to the library rare book section to confront him about his decision to give Colin an associate position.
PJ. 8. Colin tries to avoid sexy Laurel in the library 800’s but she kisses him.
Reveal: Laurel pretends that Colin is her lover, a ploy which embarrasses him and flatters him, too.
PJ. 9. A book falls on them from a high shelf.
PJ.10. Colin fumbles with books. and Laurel leaves with Champion who will help her pass the finals.
AJ. 11. Delaney appears after she witnessed the kiss and the book.
PJ. 12. Colin pulls several books from the shelves with Delaney dogging him.
PJ. 13. Colin tricks Delaney into an elevator, but he exits seconds before the doors close.
AJ. 14. On the rare books floor Delaney argues with professor because he refuses to change his decision,
Triangle: Professor demands she must leave him alone to work on additional pages of his book.
AJ. 15. The only two there she steals his manuscript and stays in the next section away from professor,
Aj. 16. She opens the manuscript, but it is blank.
TP. 17. As the air control that preserves the rare volumes hisses, the professor becomes unconscious.
PJ. 18. Colin goes to find the professor and discovers him and an incoherent Delaney.
PJ. 19. Colin drags her out from there, calls for help, and goes back for the professor.
INCITING INCIDENT: 20. The police suspect that Colin tampered with the air controls.
AJ. 21. Delaney witnesses that the manuscript is missing and that Colin may know where it is.
Triangle: 22.he professor is seriously impaired and can’t explain about the ms.
Deeper Level: 23.Police treat the affair as an accident with a faulty air control.
PJ. 24. Colin becomes the associate, and finals will replace dissertations.
PJ. 25. Colin loses when the majority decides to investigate but none of them wants to give up finals to play detective, so they draw straws.
PJ. 26. The investigation will end his graduate studies.
AJ . 27. Delaney fakes the next shorter straw to go with Colin after the manuscript, a real sacrifice since she dislikes him.
Deeper Layer: She desperately wants the manuscript even though it will cause an uproar among Shakespeare’s followers, the tourism, and his legacy.
PJ . 28. Colin visits the ailing professor to eke out information.
PJ. 29. Colin chases a suspicious man but loses him.
AJ. 30. Delaney bumps into Colin and helps understand the professor.
Triangle. 31. Although the professor can’t write or speak, he. can move his fingers.
PJ. 32. Works with Professor to set up a way that they can get a clue. “Cardenio”.
TURNING POINT.
PJ and AJ. 33 They decipher acrostics and symbols and Professor’s clues to his attacker and his manuscript.
Deeper Level. Answers can be found in an unpublished play “Cardenio”, which treasure seekers search for in Europe.
ACT 2:
Inciting incident. 34. Colin and Delaney are stopped at the airport and lose their passports.
AJ: 35. Delaney pulls strings, with family ties and they sail to Europe on a barge.
DJ and AJ. 36. After a warning they jump into the surf before landing.
AJ. 37. Holds on to her suitcase and loses her second one.
PJ. 38. Colin shares his shirts with her.
Deeper Level: They will not be able to return through legal immigration ports
PJ.39. In Europe Colin must sharpen his wits for they are being followed.
Turning point 2:
AJ. 40. Delaney sabotages their secrecy.
DEEPER LAYER REVEAL:
AJ. 41. Delaney isn’t a struggling graduate student, but from an aristocratic background.
PJ. 42. Colin finds a family who have information passed down about “Cardenio” and three other plays never printed in a folio.
AJ. 43. Delaney’s anger lessens against Colin and promises to help find the manuscript, but after that she wants an equal playing field.
AJ. 44. Delaney meets Bragg. Secretly.
DEEPER LEVEL REAVEAL:
Bragg is a more dangerous antagonist than she is.
AJ. 45. Delaney agrees to get him the manuscript to save Colin.
DEEPER LEVEL REVEAL: Colin admits he cares more about Delaney than the Shakespeare legacy.
Turning Point 3:
PJ: 46: Colin figures out clues to the manuscript sent to professor’s contact in Europe.
AJ. 47. Delaney steals it and tells Colin she knows what the professor has discovered.
Act 3:
Deeper Reveal
AJ. 48. In Delaney’s family tree are aristocrats and noblemen as ancestors who may be the real authors of Shakespeare’s works, but she may die for it.
AJ. 49. Delaney hides the manuscript, so the attacker kidnaps her.
PJ. 50. In the lowlands of the Alps, Colin picks up Delaney’s trail.
AJ. 51. Delaney tricks the attacker and leaves clues for Colin to reach her.
Turning point 4:
PJ. 52. Colin fights Bragg and rescues Delaney.
AJ. 53. Bragg chases them on a train.
PJ. 54. Colin fights to save Delaney and the manuscript.
AJ. 55. Bragg pulls a gun on Colin.
AJ. 56. Delaney tears open the manuscript and throws it into the wind, as the train goes over a trestle.
AJ. 57. Bragg attempts to recover some of it and dies.
Act 4:
PJ. 59. PJ. Convinces Delaney that it just doesn’t matter who wrote the plays and poems.
AJ. 60. Delaney reveals she is related to Macbeth, and
Duncan, Southhampton, de Vere, the Neville’s and several monarchs. From William the Conqueror to the present day.PJ. 61. Colin and Delaney sneak back into the country.
Resolution
P.J. 62. Colin fails in his journey, but he helps the professor communicate to reconstruct the manuscript.
Climax
AJ. and PJ. 63. They hire Laurel to care for Professor so that she and Colin can return to Europe to find three plays which were performed but never published.
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Joyce’s New Outline Beats
Vision: to create memorable scripts that actors want to perform.
WIL: It is easier to make changes now before starting the script.
Genre: Action / Drama
ACT 1:
PJ 1: Colin has one shot at a graduate degree, then he must find a job.
PJ. 2. His professor announces his forthcoming publication and hints that his manuscript will anger the current Shakespearean legacy advocates with the real truth about the accepted beliefs of authorship.
Deeper Layer: Colin is against the argument the professor wants published.
AJ. Delaney shows how she feels about promoting professor’s research.
PJ.3. After a hot discussion, the class is over.
PJ.4. Professor calls Colin into his office and although Colin opposes the publication, he offers him an associate position, realizing that will assure Colin of a PHD.
AJ. 5. Delaney overhears them and follows the professor to the library rare book section to confront him about his decision to give Colin an associate position.
PJ. 6.Sexy Laurel meets Colin in the library 800’s and flirts with him.
Reveal: Laurel has acted as if Colin is her lover, a ploy which embarrasses him and flatters him, too.
PJ. 7. Laurel kisses Colin and a book falls on them from a high shelf.
PJ. 8. Laurel blames him and leaves with another student from class, who will help her pass the finals.
AJ. 9. Delaney finds professor and his manuscript, and when he refuses to change his decision, she stays in the next section away from professor, the only two on rare books floor.
TP. 10,The air control that preserves the rare volumes hisses and makes the professor unconscious.
PJ. 11. Colin goes to find the professor and discovers him and an incoherent Delaney. PJ. Colin drags her out from there and calls for help.
INCITING INCIDENT: The police suspect him.
AJ.12. Delaney witnesses that the manuscript is missing and that the professor is seriously affected by the air.
Deeper Level: 13. Police treat the affair as an accident with a faulty air control.
PJ. 14. At a class meeting the majority decides to investigate but none of them wants to give up final theses to play detective, so they draw straws and Colin loses.
TP. The investigation will end his graduate studies.
AJ 15. Delaney fakes the next shorter straw to go with Colin after the manuscript, a real sacrifice since she dislikes him.
Deeper Layer: She desperately wants the manuscript even though it will cause an uproar among Shakespeare’s followers, the tourism, and his legacy.
PJ 16. Colin visits the ailing professor to eke out information.
AJ. 17. Delaney show up and helps set up a way that they can understand what the professor can’t write or speak.
TURNING POINT 1: Professor’s clues to his attacker and his manuscript can be found in an unpublished play “Cardenio”, which treasure seekers search for in Europe.
ACT 2:
Inciting incident. 18. Colin and Delaney are stopped at the airport and lose their passports.
AJ: 19. Delaney pulls strings, and they sail to Italy on a commercial ship.
Reveal: She has clout and money, but from where?
Deeper Level: They will not be able to return through immigration posts.
PJ 20. In Europe Colin must sharpen his wits for they are being followed.
Turning point 2:
AJ 21. Delaney sabotages their secrecy.
DEEPER LAYER REVEAL:
AJ. 22. Delaney isn’t a struggling graduate student, but from an aristocratic background.
PJ. 23. Colin finds a family who have information passed down about “Cardenio” and three other plays never printed in a folio.
AJ. 24. : Delaney loses some of her anger against Colin and promises to help find the manuscript, but after that she wants an equal playing field.
AJ. 25. Delaney meets Bragg, the attacker.
<strong style=”background-color: transparent; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>DEEPER LEVEL REAVEAL:
AJ: Bragg is a more dangerous antagonist than she is.
AJ.26. Delaney offers to get him the manuscript to save Colin.
Turning Point 3:
PJ: 27. Colin rescues the manuscript sent to professor’s contact in Europe.
Inciting incident:
AJ. 28. Delaney steals ms. and tells Colin what the professor has discovered.
<strong style=”background-color: transparent; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>DEEPER LEVEL REVEAL: Colin admits he cares more about Delaney than the Shakespeare legacy.
<strong style=”background-color: transparent; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>AJ. 29. She lets down her guard and says she cares for him.
Act 3:
Turning point.
<strong class=””>The professor ‘s ms suggests that five authors contributed to the real Shakespeare plays.
<strong class=””>Deeper Reveal
AJ. 30: Delaney has ancestors who have been considered the real authors of Shakespeare’s works, but she may die for it.
AJ. 31. Delaney does not give up the manuscript to the attacker, so he kidnaps her.
PJ. 32. In the lowlands of the Alps, Colin tracks Delaney.
<strong style=”background-color: transparent; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>AJ.33. Delaney tricks the attacker and leaves clues for Colin to reach her.
Turning point 4:
PJ. 34: Colin finds her and struggles with the attacker. to wrest the manuscript from him.
AJ.35: Delaney tears open the manuscript and throws it into the wind over a valley.
AJ.36 .Bragg attempts to recover some of it and dies.
Act 4:
PJ. 37: Colin sneaks back into the country with Delaney’s help.
Resolution
P.J. 38: Colin fails in his journey, but he moves near the professor and begins to reconstruct the manuscript.
Climax
AJ. 39: Delaney hires a person to care and to edit for professor so that she and Colin can return to Europe to find proof of the other three late Shakespearean plays once performed but never published.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by
Joyce Davidson.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by
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Joyce’s Beat Draft # 1
Vision to create memorable movie scripts which actors want to perform.
WIL: The Genre has changed somewhat, but it is rounding out.
Genre: Action / Drama
ACT 1:
PJ 1: Colin has one shot at a graduate degree, but when his professor’s controversial manuscript is stolen and the professor left for dead, he is chosen to find the attacker and the manuscript.
PJ 2: The police suspect him.
AJ 1: Delaney pushes to go after the manuscript.
Deeper Layer: Colin is against the argument the professor wants published.
AJ 2: Delaney dislikes Colin.
INCITING INCIDENT: The class draws straws and Colin’s shortest straw sends him on the investigation which will end his graduate studies.
AJ 3: Delaney fakes the next shortest straw so that she can accompany Colin.
Deeper Layer: She desperately wants the manuscript even though it will cause an uproar among Shakespeare’s followers, the tourism, and his legacy.
PJ 3: Colin visits the ailing professor to eke out information.
TURNING POINT 1: With clues to an unpublished play “Cardenio” Colin and Delaney are stopped at the airport and lose their passports.
ACT 2: Delaney pulls strings and they sail to Italy on a commercial ship.
PJ 4: In Italy, Colin must sharpen his wits for they are being followed.
<strong style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Turning point 2:
<strong style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>AJ 5: Delaney sabotages their secrecy.
DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Delaney isn’t a struggling graduate student, but from an aristocratic background.
PJ. 5: Colin finds a family who have information passed down about “Cardenio” and three other plays never printed in a folio.
AJ. 6: Delaney loses some of her anger against Colin and agrees to help.
DEEPER LEVEL REAVEAL: Delaney has met with the attacker who is a more dangerous antagonist than she is and she offers to get him the manuscript to save Colin.
Turning Point 3:
PJ: 6: Colin rescues the manuscript sent to professor’s contact in Italy.
Act 3:
Deeper Reveal
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>AJ.7: Delaney has ancestors who have been considered the real authors of Shakespeare’s works, but she may die for it.
AJ.8: Delaney does not steal the manuscript, so the attacker kidnaps her.
PJ. 7: In the lowlands of the Italian Alps Colin searches for Delaney.
DEEPER LEVEL REVEAL: Colin admits he cares more about Delaney than the Shakespeare legacy.
AJ.9 :Delaney tricks the attacker and leaves clues.
<strong style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Turning point 4:
PJ. 8: Colin finds her and struggles with the attacker. to wrest the manuscript from him.
AJ.10: Delaney tears open the manuscript and throws it into the wind over a valley.
AJ.1: The real antagonist dies .
Act 4:
PJ. 9:Colin sneaks back into the country with Delaney’s help.
Resolution
P.J. 10: Colin fails in his journey, but he moves near the professor to reconstruct the manuscript.
Climax
AJ. 11: Delaney hires a person to care for professor so that she and Colin can return to Italy to find proof of the other three plays never printed.
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Joyce’s Deeper Layers<div>
To create memorable scripts that actors want to perform.
WIL: Much under the surface will add suspense, intrigue, and reveals.
<div>
Title:
“Cardenio Lost”High concept: After his professor is badly beaten, a Shakespearean scholar searches for the attacker and for the professor’s lost manuscript before new evidence explodes.
PROTAGONIST: COLIN
Act 1
Beginning: COLIN argues with the professor to prevent him from publishing his manuscript until the class has won their PHD’s.
Inciting Incident: When the professor who wrote about who wrote Shakespeare’s plays is attacked, left for dead, and is unable to speak or walk, his class decides one of them must investigate; they draw straws, and Colin loses.
Turning Point 1: Delaney fakes her loss and joins Colin in the search for the attacker from clues the professor can tap for them.
Act 2:
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: After they argue all the way to Italy, they realize they are being followed and blame each other.
Act 3:
Turning Point 3: Bragg kidnaps Delaney and Colin realizes he must save her.
Act 4 Climax: They find a seventh generation family who have written information about “Cardenio” with clues to the lost manuscript just before Bragg burns their family papers.
Resolution: They work as a team to solve the mystery of Cardenio and find the manuscript, as Colin realizes Delaney is more important than the century-old argument about who wrote Shakespeare’s plays.
Surface layer: Colin helps the professor.
Deeper layer: He opposes the professor’s disclaiming Shakespeare’s legacy.
Major reveal: He discovers ruthless men who will kill to suppress new evidence.
Influences surface story: He is fighting for the wrong side.
Hints: He argues that the status quo is correct, but the professor claims to have a manuscript ready to publish and fears that groups will stop him.
Changes reality: An attacker sends the professor to the hospital with serious results.
ANTAGONIST: Delaney
Beginning: Her family has had proof for centuries that an ancestor was a prolific writer, but never given credit, so she resents Colin for his opposing beliefs and his short-sighted surrender to Laurel’s obvious intentions to use him.
Inciting Incident: She promises Bragg that she will find and hand over the manuscript.
Turning Point 1: Colin tries to lose her, but she makes the flight to Italy.
Act 2:
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint:
Act 3:
Turning Point 3: When Bragg kidnaps her, she realizes to late that he represents people who want to stop them.
Act 4 Climax: Colin saves her, and they discover a family who have heard about Cardenio. Their information leads them to the manuscript.
Resolution: When she sees what a good man Colin is, she throws the manuscript off a bridge, and Bragg dives to save it.
Surface layer: Opposes the professor.
Deeper layer: She has family claims that reverse Shakespeare’s legacy.
Major reveal: She accompanies Colin to destroy new evidence.
Influences surface story: She trusts the true antagonist Bragg.
Hints: She meets Bragg and believes him.
Changes reality: She has to steal whatever Colin finds and that means go with him to Italy.
</div></div>
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<div>Joyce’s CHARACTER STRUCTURE</div>
Mod. 4:Lesson 1
Vision: to create memorable scripts which actors want to perform.
WIL: Patience. I must not be worried about how the conflict will intensify until the outline is complete.
Title: “Cardenio”
High concept: After his professor is badly beaten, a Shakespearean scholar searches for the attacker and for the professor’s lost manuscript before his new evidence is destroyed.
PROTAGONIST:COLIN
Act 1
Beginning: COLIN argues with the professor to prevent him from publishing his manuscript until the class has won their PHD’s.
Inciting Incident: When the professor who wrote about who wrote Shakespeare’s plays is attacked, left for dead, and is unable to speak or walk, his class decides one of them must investigate; they draw straws, and Colin loses.
Turning Point 1: Delaney fakes her loss and joins Colin in the search for the attacker from clues the professor is able to tap out for them.
Act 2:
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: After they argue all the way to Italy, they realize they are being followed and blame each other.
Act 3:
Turning Point 3: Bragg kidnaps Delaney and Colin realizes he must save her.
Act 4 Climax: They find a seventh generation family who have written information about “Cardenio” with clues to the lost manuscript just before Bragg burns their family papers.
Resolution: They work as a team to solve the mystery of Cardenio and find the manuscript, as Colin realizes Delaney is more important than the century-old argument about who wrote Shakespeare’s plays.
ANTAGONIST: Delaney
Beginning: Her family has had proof for centuries that an ancestor was a prolific writer, but never given credit, so she resents Colin for his opposing beliefs and his short-sighted surrender to Laurel’s obvious intentions to use him.
Inciting Incident: She promises Bragg that she will find and hand over the manuscript.
Turning Point 1: Colin tries to lose her, but she makes the flight to Italy.
Act 2:
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint:
Act 3:
Turning Point 3: When Bragg kidnaps her, she realizes to late that he represents people who want to stop them.
Act 4 Climax: Colin saves her and they discover a family who have heard about Cardenio. Their information leads them to the manuscript.
Resolution: When she sees what a good man Colin is, she throws the manuscript off a bridge, and Bragg dives to save it.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by
Joyce Davidson.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by
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Supporting Actors: Mod #3, Lesson 8
to write memorable scripts which actors will want to perform.
WIL: I now have the suggestion of a more powerful antagonist.
Name Laurel Goode
Role: attempts seduction to pass finals
Main purpose: adds to Cole’s inability to attract a woman, so he stays a loner.
Value: She is fickle, selfish and untrustworthy to the entire class a is the weak link in the investigation.
Name: Hunter Devane Champion
Role: opposes Cole in class. Arranges fraudulent straw contest and shows up with Redmond Bragg,
Main purpose: He is the one who suggests that one of the class members has to go look for the attacker and the manuscript and is of interest to the people who want to destroy the manuscript and/or the professor.
Value: He takes Laurel off Cole’s hands by promising she will get a diploma.
Name: Redmond Bragg
Role: Represents groups which are searching for the manuscript to destroy it.
Main purpose: There is no way a college student can find the manuscript before him, but just in case he has to follow Cole and Delaney, convince him to hand over what they find or he’ll stop them any way possible from succeeding.
Value: He is the real power behind the organization set on preserving the current beliefs in Shakespeare’s identity because it is financially imperative that they preserve them
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Mod 3; lesson 8: I want to write memorable scripts that actors want to perform.
WIL: I now have the suggestion of a more powerful antagonist.
Name Laurel Goode
Role: attempts seduction to pass finals
Main purpose: adds to Cole’s inability to attract a woman, so he stays a loner.
Value: She is fickle, selfish and untrustworthy to the entire class a is the weak link in the investigation.
Name: Hunter Devane Champion
Role: opposes Cole in class. Arranges fraudulent straw contest and shows up with Redmond Bragg,
Main purpose: He is the one who suggests that one of the class members has to go look for the attacker and the manuscript and is of interest to the people who want to destroy the manuscript and/or the professor.
Value: He takes Laurel off Cole’s hands by promising she will get a diploma.
Name: Redmond Bragg
Role: Represents groups which are searching for the manuscript to destroy it.
Main purpose: There is no way a college student can find the manuscript before him, but just in case he has to follow Cole and Delaney, convince him to hand over what they find or he’ll stop them any way possible from succeeding.
Value: He is the real power behind the organization set on preserving the current beliefs in Shakespeare’s identity because it is financially imperative that they preserve them
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This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by
Joyce Davidson.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by
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<div>Mod. #3: Lesson 7</div>
Wil: I need a definite antagonist.
vision: I want to write memorable scripts which actors want to perform.
A. The High Concept. When his professor is attacked, a Shakespearean scholar accepts the search for the attacker and the professor’s damaging manuscript which ruthless people want to destroy.
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B. This Character’s Journey. Cole pulls the short straw and gives up finals and graduation to search not only for his professor’s attacker, but also for the lost or stolen manuscript which Cole knows contains allegations contrary to his own.
C. The Actor Attractors for this Character. Strong, brave, principled, loyal, but he’s unsuited for the journey and goes in spite of his beliefs and comfort zone with an assistant who hates him and groups who want to beat him to the manuscript to destroy it.
3. Brainstorm these profile components for each character.
7. Character Subtext: Cole struggles between his loyalty to his professor and to his strong support for Shakespeare’s legacy.</div>
8. Character Intrigue: He uncovers people who will stop at nothing to maintain the accepted identity of Shakespeare’s authorship, for their action shake his beliefs.
9. Flaw: As an adamant grammarian, he angers most of his classmates, especially women, so he ignores them.
10. Values: honesty, loyalty
11. Character Dilemma: On his journey he encounters strong opposition and even his fellow classmate assisting him worries him. Will his beliefs crash when he finds clues in an old play Cardenio? Can he protect the manuscript if he finds it?
A. The High Concept. When his professor is attacked, a Shakespearean scholar with a belligerent classmate accepts the search for the attacker and the professor’s damaging manuscript which ruthless people want to destroy.
B. This Character’s Journey. Delaney fakes the next round and shows the shortest straw so that she can decipher clues and destroy the manuscript before Cole returns it so that two of her ancestors’ identities may be revealed as authors of Shakespeare’s plays and sonnets..
C. The Actor Attractors for this Character. Trying to look dowdy, Delaney’s attractiveness eventually appears. She is a strong, woman, intelligent and determined to go anywhere to have proof her ancestors wrote the plays.
7. Character Subtext: Appears docile, but she will go to any lengths to further her goals.<div>
8. Character Intrigue: No one suspects that Delaney has her own crusade.
9. Flaw: She is vulnerable, because Laurel is the beauty of the class and the others will do anything to please her.
10. Values: Delaney believes in giving credit to those who deserve it no matter how many years have passed or how it will upset a strong financial network based on what she considers a lie.
11. Character Dilemma: She can’t hate Cole forever. He has qualities she admires , but he is her enemy.
<div>
A. The High Concept. After the professor is attacked, a Shakespearean scholar with a belligerent classmate accepts the search for the attacker and the professor’s damaging manuscript which ruthless people want to destroy.
B. This Character’s Journey. the professor has his upward climb to recover from the beating which took his speech and his mobility.
C. The Actor Attractors for this Character. In spite of his injuries he is able to communicate somewhat and help in the investigation.
7. Character Subtext: He knows Cole doesn’t believe as the professor does, but he admires his intelligence and hopes to persuade him he must see another side of facts.</div>
8. Character Intrigue: Will he recover? Could he recreate the manuscript?
9. Flaw: physically unable to defend himself.
10. Values: The truth is more valuable than money or any deeds by ruffians.
11. Character Dilemma: He should have been quiet about his manuscript and used more protection.
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<div>
</div>Mod: #3: lesson #6.
Vision: to write memorable movie scripts that attract winning actors or actors who establish a good reputation by performing in them.
WIL: Posting takes me longer than the assignments.
A. The High Concept. A reluctant Shakespearean scholar searches for clues to his wounded professor’s attacker, and his unpublished manuscript found in a lost play by Shakespeare which will cause a worldwide uproar.
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B. This character’s journey: Cole Fairbanks admires his professor although he opposes his views concerning Shakespeare’s authorship, but he searches for the attacker and thief who hurt the professor and stole the manuscript.
C. The Actor Attractors for this character. His arc goes from a non-confrontational scholar to a physically and mentally strong investigator who fights those who gain from the suppression of Shakespeare’s true identity. He has widest arc and most appeal.
Role in the Story: protagonist</div>
Age range and Description: 25-30, well-built, handsome, bookish, Cole still have little appeal for women.
Core Traits: somewhat irritating as a grammarian who corrects everyone’s errors, and principled to a fault, relentless.
Motivation; Want/Need: to preserve Wm. Shakespeare’s legacy and earn a PHD from a professor who like each other, but don’t agree.
Wound: Beautiful women scare him.
Likability, honorable, willing to change after firm evidence is revealed.
Relatability, has top honors in class, will sacrifice finals and graduation to investigate the crime and save the professor’s manuscript.
Empathy: He works for a degree and now his beliefs are trash, yet he fights for a wheelchair bound professor who has lost more, his ability to speak .
Actor Delaney
Role: Cole’s nemesis in class and his assistant in the investigation.
Age: 25-30, dowdy (her choice) a bookworm, sarcastic and critical of Cole, determined to save her ancestors’ historical relationship to Shakespeare.
Traits: intelligent, driven, angry, secretive and yet, outspoken against Cole
Motivation: Family issues cause her to accompany Cole, not to assist, but to save her family name. She needs to be smarter and sneakier than Cole.
Wound: She is the disappointment to her family once connected to royalty.
Likability: her sarcasm is somewhat amusing. men don’t find her attractive.
Relatability: a woman who fights for what she believes
Empathy: she may lose her chance to complete the course, also, and can’t afford to take it twice because she elects to challenge Cole on this journey of investigation. What will he do when he finds clues?
Actor: Professor
Role: Victim whom enemies have silenced and his manuscript lost.
Age: 45-55/ mild-mannered, nervous, smiles at odd remarks,.
Core traits: fearsome evaluator of students’ work. brilliant, passionate researcher, ignores mundane surroundings, brave or too innocent to understand what his manuscript will cause if it is published.
Motivation: the truth. Credit given where it is due, Need: recover his speech and mobility.
Wound: Powerful people have stopped him from rising. May not be able to recover from another defeat.
Likability: clever and dedicated, he has been stopped by physical violence against him.
Relatability: He won’t give up to reveal evidence that may contribute to the truth.
Empathy: badly beaten and unable to speak, he has lost him manuscript, backups, and everything he worked so long to prepare.
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Vision: write memorable scripts actors want to portray.
WIL: tough for me to write about likable characters.
Likability: Cole has principles, intelligence, and loyalty, but he lacks social importance. He must learn how to become less of a loner and have people root for him.
Relatability: Many of us feel more at home in large crowds or before large audiences and very uncomfortable at a smaller social gathering.
Empathy: Audiences will also relate to his struggle to help someone he admires even though his personal beliefs differ greatly. He is too honorable to let down the professor and he must be strong enough to win against those who want to stop the manuscript publication.
Likability: Delaney has rivals in looks, intelligence, and dedication, but she avoids men. She fights against her own nature to prove something that happened centuries ago.
Relatability: Many women want to prove how strong they are and capable of taking care of themselves, but through their grit there arises a vulnerable woman who wonders what it will be like to always be alone.
Empathy: Audiences will be proud of her for the journey she has accepted, but they will also fear that she will throw it all away by stealing and destroying vital evidence and lose any relationship with Cole once she stops hating him.
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Joyce’s Module 3: lesson 4 Leads
WIL: All have subtext now and secrets from each other.
Character name: Cole Fairbanks
Role: Shakespearean scholar, head of his class, assists Professor Graydon Alexander and is coerced into investigating the professor’s attack and loss of manuscript about to be published.
Hidden agendas: Does not share professor’s views but is loyal to him
Competition: Hunter Champion, another classmate about to take finals , a jealous rival for Cole’s importance and his ex-girlfriend, Laurel Goode.
Secrets: he’s open, but quiet
Deception: wants to preserve Shakespeare’s legacy in spite of Professor Alexander’s opposition.
Unspoken wound: He has never had a girlfriend until Laurel pressures him and then drops him.
Secret identity: none.
Character name: Delaney Dorchester
Role: classmate coerced into assisting Cole
hidden agendas: wants to get to the evidence first
Competition: Laurel, who is sexy and can stomp on anyone with no regrets
Secrets: Her ancestors include two possible candidates as the real Shakespeare.
Deception: She wants to appear dowdy and coy
Unspoken wound: She hates how through centuries her ancestors had no credit for what they wrote.
Secret identity: an heir to the real legacy.
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vision: Write memorable scripts actors want to portray.
WIL: It’s building with names, traits, faces, and schemes.
Module 3: Lesson 3
Movie title: CARDENIO
Protagonist : Cole Fairbanks
Subtext identity: Reluctant follower of the professor, Cole could be a disclaimer and overthrow new evidence that his professor plans to publish about Shakespeare’s possible identity challenges.
Subtext Trait: Intelligent loner, Cole is loyal and will go on a journey to find lost manuscript even though it may be contrary to his own desire to preserve Shakespeare’s legacy.
Subtext logline: Cole loses by choosing the short straw so that the rest of the class may graduate while he has to find the professor’s attacker and his manuscript by searching for the lost play,“Cardenio”.
Possible areas of subtext: Cole is sidetracked by the siren of the class for a while, but she dumps him before he goes to Europe to search for clues with Delaney. She is not generous with information. He suspects he must secure any clues they find in case she steals them.
Character name: Delaney Dorchester
Subtext identity: Secretive, Delaney gets the next short straw to assist Cole although she dislikes him.
Subtext Trait: She chooses to be unattractive and pursue a career without the burden of a husband.
Subtext logline: Some dynamic secret in Delaney’s ancestry goads her to assist Cole, more to keep an eye on him and stop him, if necessary, but also to find the manuscript and professor’s attacker.
Possible areas of subtext: Delaney may not share deep regard for the professor, but she will go along with the search for clues that may lead to his lost manuscript and prove historical fraud unless it is too politically dangerous to confront powerful people.
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MODULE # Lesson #2:Actor’s role
I want to write scripts that are memorable which actors want to portray.
Genre: Drama
Title:
1. An actor would want to be known for this role for the character’s confidence in his own ability with research and deductions, but how he fails with women. Gorgeous classmate latches on to him until she admits it is only to pass the course.
2. He is most interesting because of Irony. Although he loses the girl, he accepts the challenge of finding the professor’s attacker and his lost/stolen manuscript although he suspects it will go against everything he believes.
3. A scene evolves from his passion to protect Shakespeare’s legacy from those who insist the bard’s identity is a false claim to the plays and sonnets. When he encounters villains, attackers, and other kidnappers, he discovers he can fight them.
4. His introduction can be his breakup with the hot classmate or the arguments with the professor, who, actually, likes opposition.
5. Emotional range is that of a relatively shy, but stubborn graduate student who is uncomfortable with other classmates, especially women, who rises above his own convictions to save his professor.
6. What subtext can actor play comes from failure to have self-worth.
7. Interesting relationships arise from his crush on the attractive classmate, his dislike for the egocentric one, and his unfortunate professor who has enemies the main character has to fight with another volunteer from the class, a women who is opposed to him.
8. Unique voice is that of a grammar policeman and a bookish sense of humor.
9. What makes this character special and unique is his emotional arc and personal view of himself. His confidence soars when he completes his mission and takes the professor where the man can redo his manuscript.
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My visions is to write memorable scripts that actors want to perform.
WIL: A character who has opposing characteristics within himself makes an interesting role for an actor especially if his arc is exciting.
Watch a movie: raiders of the Lost Ark
1. An actor wants to play Bigger than life lead like Indiana Jones.
2. Most interesting for the most conflicts and successes he meets.
3. Most interesting actions are from his brilliant calculations and his abilities as a fighter.
4. The big introduction shows the devil-may-care Indiana Jones retrieving a valuable artifact with many dangers including a huge rolling boulder.
5. His emotional range swings from a lover to a carefree but ruthless fighter.
6. The subtext shows his mundane position as a professor and later his fear of snakes.
7. His two main relationships are with his former girlfriend and his good friend who provides much of what he needs, but also a French archeologist, his nemesis and competitor.
8. His unique voice shows he doesn’t waste words. What he says he means and can back it up.
9. His character is special and unique because he has dual personalities: one is dedicated research professor and the other is a fortune-hunter, passionate about training lost treasures.
10. When Indie and girl are bound to a pole, the Nazis open the arc. Indie knows the stories about the sanctity of the arc and the danger and tells Miriam to close her eyes, so that they won’t be destroyed like the others.
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Actor’s role
1. An actor would want to be known for this role for the character’s confidence in his own ability with research and deductions, but how he fails with women. Gorgeous classmate latches on to him until she admits it is only to pass the course.
2. He is most interesting because of Irony. Although he loses the girl, he accepts the challenge of finding the professor’s attacker and his lost/stolen manuscript although he suspects it will go against everything he believes.
3. A scene evolves from his passion to protect Shakespeare’s legacy from those who insist the bard’s identity is a false claim to the plays and sonnets. When he encounters villains, attackers, and other kidnappers, he discovers he can fight them.
4. His introduction can be his breakup with the hot classmate or the arguments with the professor, who, actually, likes opposition.
5. Emotional range is that of a relatively shy, but stubborn graduate student who is uncomfortable with other classmates, especially women, who rises above his own convictions to save his professor.
6. What subtext can actor play comes from failure to have self-worth.
7. Interesting relationships arise from his crush on the attractive classmate, his dislike for the egocentric one, and his unfortunate professor who has enemies the main character has to fight with another volunteer from the class, a women who is opposed to him.
8. Unique voice is that of a grammar policeman and a bookish sense of humor.
9. What makes this character special and unique is his emotional arc and personal view of himself. His confidence soars when he completes his mission and takes the professor where the man can redo his manuscript.
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Joyce’s 4-Act Transformational Structure
Vision is to write memorable scripts that actors want to perform.
WIL: Working like this builds my own excitement.
concept for Cardenio Lost: After his professor’ attempted assassination a Shakespearean scholar struggles to track the last unpublished scripts of Shakespeare’s plays to to save him and bait the attacker.
Main conflict: Scholars for centuries have fought over Shakespeare’s identity and the stakes are too high to allow a professor to reveal new investigations, so his students choose one to investigate.
Old Ways: The reluctant loser in the straw poll recruits another classmate to dig into manuscripts and try to communicate with the impaired professor.
New Ways: If they are going to see the professor alive, they have to travel to Italy and other countries to seek the origin of plays.
Act 1.
Opening: Professor hints that his manuscript will blow up the Shakespearean debate,.
Inciting incident: but before publication the manuscript is stolen and the professor is attacked, left for dead, and unable to speak or walk.
Turning Point: His students, ready to take finals, have a straw poll to see which one will forego his finals and search for the manuscript and save the professor by luring the attacker out of hiding.
Act 2.
New Plan: He can’t do it alone, so he needs an assistant. The flamboyant girl in the class turns him down, but a bookish girl agrees to help.
Plan in Action: They travel to Italy.
Turning Point: Someone is stalking them and attacks them.
Act 3:
Rethink: Information uncovered in Rome sends them to Denmark and Scotland.
New Plan: Tell the professor what they have uncovered, but he can’t respond.
Turning Point: Their visit shakes up the professor as if someone is still after him.
Act 4:
Climax: Assistant reveals her ancestors were involved with Shakespeare’s identity, but she gets to the proof before the protagonist can stop her. She goes to finish off the professor and entombs the protagonist.
Resolution: she goes back to help the protagonist who already has escaped and fights her for the information. She destroys the play information and the manuscript she has. The protagonist takes the professor home with him to recover and remember what findings were in the manuscript.
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Joyce’s 4-Act Transformational Structure
Vision is to write memorable scripts that actors want to perform.
WIL: Working like this builds my own excitement.
concept for Cardenio Lost: After his professor’ attempted assassination a Shakespearean scholar struggles to track the last unpublished scripts of Shakespeare’s plays to to save him and bait the attacker.
Main conflict: Scholars for centuries have fought over Shakespeare’s identity and the stakes are too high to allow a professor to reveal new investigations, so his students choose one to investigate.
Old Ways: The reluctant loser in the straw poll recruits another classmate to dig into manuscripts and try to communicate with the impaired professor.
New Ways: If they are going to see the professor alive, they have to travel to Italy and other countries to seek the origin of plays.
Act 1.
Opening: Professor hints that his manuscript will blow up the Shakespearean debate,.
Inciting incident: but before publication the manuscript is stolen and the professor is attacked, left for dead, and unable to speak or walk.
Turning Point: His students, ready to take finals, have a straw poll to see which one will forego his finals and search for the manuscript and save the professor by luring the attacker out of hiding.
Act 2.
New Plan: He can’t do it alone, so he needs an assistant. The flamboyant girl in the class turns him down, but a bookish girl agrees to help.
Plan in Action: They travel to Italy.
Turning Point: Someone is stalking them and attacks them.
Act 3:
Rethink: Information uncovered in Rome sends them to Denmark and Scotland.
New Plan: Tell the professor what they have uncovered, but he can’t respond.
Turning Point: Their visit shakes up the professor as if someone is still after him.
Act 4:
Climax: Assistant reveals her ancestors were involved with Shakespeare’s identity, but she gets to the proof before the protagonist can stop her. She goes to finish off the professor and entombs the protagonist.
Resolution: she goes back to help the protagonist who already has escaped and fights her for the information. She destroys the play information and the manuscript she has. The protagonist takes the professor home with him to recover and remember what findings were in the manuscript.
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Joyce’s Subtext Plot
Vision is to write memorable movies that actors want to perform.
WIL: Main Levels will guide the outline, but there could be hints of the others, too, as the outline develops
Scheme and Investigation : the professor’s students have to draw straws to have one of them investigate the professor’s attack.
Someone Hides Who They Are: He has an assistant for backup, but she has a secret of her own.
A Major Cover Up : Scholars for almost 400 years have fought about the identity of Shakespeare, and the recent pre-publication of the professor’s manuscript brings out his enemies because they believe he has new information about the final plays which were not published or the copies are lost.
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VISION
I want to write uplifting scenes in drama and humor for memorable movies that attract actors.
WIL: A character came to life in my mind when I thought I had no clues.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by
Joyce Davidson. Reason: copy
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This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by
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WIM: Joyce’s Transformational Journey
Vision: To write memorable scenes in drama and humor that actors will want to play in a movie.
WIL” My excitement is growing about the outline.
Arc beginning: bookish, non-confrontational, Shakespearean scholar has no interest in physical ability until he is thrust into a serious situation which requires mind and body at their best.
Arc ending: He rises to the desperate needs of his impaired professor and learns that he is excellently qualified to complete the journey.
Internal journey: He never volunteers for dangerous missions, would rather stay in the background and research, so that others may find and vanquish the villains.
External journey: He draws the short “straw”, but after studying clues, he accepts the mission to find professor’s lost manuscript about the last Shakespearean play Cardenio before those who want him and the professor dead.
Old ways: shy, avoids danger, retreats from arguments, interested in academics, awkward around jocks and girls
New ways: Bold, protective, able to face enemy forces clever at clues and how to act on them, fails, but never retreats.
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WIM: TITLE, CONCEPT, AND CHARACTER STRUCTURE
VISION: I want to write memorable, uplifting scenes of drama and humor, so that actors will want to act in the movies.
WIL: A concept I really want to pursue is possible after this assignment.
TITLE: Cardenio Lost
CONCEPT: After his professor suffers from an attempted assassination a Shakespearean scholar struggles to track an unpublished manuscript about Shakespeare’s last play to bait the killer.
CHARACTER STRUCTURE: Protagonist vs. antagonist
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WIM: TITLE, CONCEPT, AND CHARACTER STRUCTURE
VISION: I want to write memorable, uplifting scenes of drama and humor, so that actors will want to act in the movies.
WIL: A concept I really want to pursue is possible after this assignment.
TITLE: Cardenio Lost
CONCEPT: After his professor suffers from an attempted assassination a Shakespearean scholar struggles to track an unpublished manuscript about Shakespeare’s last play to bait the killer.
CHARACTER STRUCTURE: Protagonist vs. antagonist
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Joyce Davidson
MemberJuly 26, 2022 at 5:03 pm in reply to: What did you learn from the opening teleconference?It is good to have reinforcement of empowerment techniques, because we all have lapses. Those negative voices from the past and remarks in the present and future can erase the strongest beliefs that protect our self-worth.
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I , Joyce Davidson, agree to GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas. AND i WILL NOT CHOOSE A CONCEPT SIMILAR TO YOUR SPECIFIC GENRE AFTER BEGINNING THE CLASS.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
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Hi, I’m Joyce Davidson. My Master’s Screenwriter certificate came October 2017. Since then I have added to my first three screenplays by writing five others and partial plays. The only class besides this one that I haven’t taken is Horror which I may attempt soon. I hope to write a script than I truly feel passionate about, one which will touch people’s hearts and minds. The three novels I published and a joint authorship of a memoir, sold on Amazon, Book-a-Million and Barnes and Noble, could make fine movies, but I don’t want to write these. I want to work on viewpoint because I am 92 years of age and it helps to have a younger attitude.
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</div>Joyce’s Character Journies
WIL: I need to stay with the lessons.
Role: Whitney, survivor,plans escape and calms the group
Traits: intelligent valedictorian, cautious, naive and trusts others close to her
Fears: losing everything she has worked for because of a scandal in high school the group were part of.
Wants/Needs : To help her husband build his company, needs to feel wanted and loved.
Likability / Rooting factors: she is smart, but vulnerable
How she reacts under stress: calm, careful, encouraging others
Relationship with other characters: She knows one is to blame, but she protects them all until she knows the truth.
B. What is her Character Journey for this story? She struggles to keep the group on the right track, but fails and barely survives.
Character Intro: She has a weird invitation to the reunion, but her husband tells her to go.
Denial: She thinks nothing of the yearbook sent to her until her friend shows her a similar one.
Her reaction at first horror: sorrow and self-blame
Relation to group after first horror: keep them toghere or never go alone.
How she fights back: tries to get out. Burn the yearbooks in furnace room.
End Point: Saves the editor and goes home to unfaithful husband, but returns and burns down his building.
What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? She breaks her own rules of honesty and integrity by burning down the building.
— Role: Former Basketball player Blaine, has something to hide but dies first before he can reveal it.
Traits: athletic, secretive, brooding, loner
Fears: the future and the past
Wants/Needs : reconciliation and revenge
Likability / Rooting factors: He is a good athlete with one big mistake in his past.
How he reacts under stress: plays basketball
Relationship with other characters: tolerates them, but goes his own way. They feel sorry for him and for what he might have been.
B. What is his Character Journey for this story? He wants to find the vulgar yearbooks on his own and dies.
Character Intro: At the reunion the group insists that he must join them.
Denial: He never feels like part of the group.
His reaction at first horror: He is the victim.
Relation to group after first horror: none.
How they fight back: can’t
End Point: his body is dragged away.
What insight does his death bring to the others/audience? One believes the janitor is to blame. The others have new respect for danger.
— Role: Angel, the majorette and former writer for the bands and choruses, has deep jealousy for Whitney and shows it.
Traits: aging more than the others, smart mouth, believes she deserves more than she gets and will never bget over what she thinks are slights.
Fears: afraid to get old and afraid to be without a man.
Wants/Needs : more recognition than she gets and needs applause.
Likability / Rooting factors: Some former classmates still admire her as a class beauty of their day. Whitney tries to be friendly, but Angel will never like her.
How she reacts under stress: Freaks out.
Relationship with other characters: Some would protect herven after she puts them down.
B. What is her Character Journey for this story? She searches for the vulgar books with a partner, but they are separated and she is killed by the monster.
Character Intro: Maybe a flashback shows her temperament but she joins the group at the reunion.
Denial: She is not the woman Whitney is, isn’t that smart and is losing her looks.
Their reaction at first horror: Almost collapses.
Relation to group after first horror: It shuts her down for a short while.
How she fights back: She agrees to look for the bookds and a way out from the onster, but she wants Chad to go with her.
End Point: Dies.
What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? They see their is no obvious reason for the deaths, but someone or somethink is trapping them in this old building.
— Role:Chad, former football player and sports editor is the muscle man of the group.
Traits: Big, still arrogant and pushy with women.
Fears:not being a stud and not going anywhere.
Wants/Needs : attention and needs to find the monster before they are rescued to keep the vulgar yearbooks out of other people’s hands.
Likability / Rooting factors: He had a following in high shool. The group depends on his strength.
How he reacts under stress: Anger. Physical desplays.
Relationship with other characters: they accept him for what he is and has become. They remember his wins and forgive his losses.
B. What is their Character Journey for this story? He kills the janitor. He believes the man is the monster, but he isn’t.
Character Intro: Reunion. Women pass him and give him an insult because of his former actions.
Denial: He wants to quit looking when he thinks he killed the monster.
His reaction at first horror: Recovers quickly.
Relation to group after first horror: Actually tries to organize the group.
How he fights back: He opens lockers, but he leaves angel alone in the band room where she is killed.
End Point: He teams up with the school mascot. Separated he finds him dead and a second mascot. Which is the monster?
What insight does his death or survival bring to the others/audience?
Now they have no one of strength. It will have to take a miracle or a plan to survive.
— Role:Greg, photographer. Wears mascot suit.
Traits: quiet, funny, scared, insecure, hides behind a mask always.
Fears: being alone, left out and of monsters.
Wants/Needs : to help, to figure out what the monster wants and needs to get a picture of him/it.
Likability / Rooting factors:Everyone likes Greg.
How they react under stress:
Relationship with other characters:
B. What is their Character Journey for this story? Finds themonster. Is killed in the mascot costume.
Character Intro: Last one to join the group,
Denial: At first he is skeptical.He follows Chad and Angel, but he loses them until her death. He takes a picture.
His reaction at first horror: takes a picture.
Relation to group after first horror: willing to help but not to lead.
How he fights back: He is determined to document the horror.
End Point: Dies.
What insight does his death or survival bring to the others/audience? Frantic, hysteria.
— Role: Latoya was editor of the yearbook and took most of the blame for the scandal, but she is not to blame.
Traits: quiet, bookish, loyal, rather timid
Fears: the scandal will rise again to hurt her chances of a better life, if the monster does not kill her first.
Wants/Needs : Blaine to notice her and renew friendship or more.
Likability / Rooting factors: Others see her as a quiet leader they trust.
How she reacts under stress: silence.
Relationship with other characters: She is sisterly influence.
B. What is their Character Journey for this story? Attacked, but Whitney saves her.
Character Intro: In the car with Whitney on the way to the reunion.
Denial: Nobody could be that desperate to desperate to destroy them.
Her reaction at first horror: She is numb, stricken, won’t move.
Relation to group after first horror: caring.
How she fights back: takes responsibility for the scandal although she didn’t do anything wrong, but as editor, she blames herself.
End Point: Lives to be rescued, but she dies in the hosp-ital.
What insight does her death or survival bring to the others/audience? Because of her death Whitney goes home and leaves the investigation early, but when she finds her husband with another woman, she drives back and burns down the building.
— Role: Scott, former class president and student council president of old school, a plastic surgeon, and was part of a triangle with Chad for Whitney’s dates.
Traits: Moral, steady, not bold around women, carrying a torch for Whitney.
Fears: not much. He has faith that everything turns out all right.
Wants/Needs: anther chance at love.
Likability / Rooting factors: Others trust him, but Chad makes fun of him.
How he reacts under stress: great strength of character.
Relationship with other characters: He is reliable.
B. What is his Character Journey for this story? Hde takes Whitney home after the monster is routed and brings her back after the fiasco with her husband.
Character Intro: Flashback, He spares Whitney embarrassment when Chad gets fresh at prom years before.
Denial: He will never hava a chance with her and he alone should defeat the monster.
His reaction at first horror: Astonishment. Get everyone out and try to call authorities.
Relation to group after first horror: Could lead, but bows to Chad and then Whitney.
How does he fight back: He stops a mutiny.
End Point: He lives after fighting the monster.
What insight does his survival bring to the others/audience? They had to understand why this was happening to them and how to be ahead of the monster.
— Role: Janitor, Hank, has yearbooks, but he’s killed.
Traits: incorrigible, unrepentant criminalviscious, former prisoner, could easily be a pedophile for his advances toward females staudents. Was he still stalking them?
Fears: someone will report him t0 police and going back to prison.
Wants/Needs :to make money off the scandal.
Likability / Rooting factors: Women avoid him and men laugh at him. hated and feared
How he reacts under stress: does he hide the first body?
Relationship with other characters: ostracized.
B. What is their Character Journey for this story? They meet him furnace room.
Character Intro: Group goes to furnace room.
His reaction at first horror: shrugs his shoulders. Goes to clean up blood. He won’t be caught for anything.
Relation to group after first horror: Get out yourselves.
How he fights back: Shows them box of old yearboooks.
End Point: Dies by Chad and body is burned in the furnace by monster.
What insight does his deaths bring to the others/audience? At first they consider that the monster is dead.
–Role:Traits: Principal Edna Hardcourt. She is mother of Harlon, the killer.
Fears: Her son will be taken away.
Wants/Needs :to save son.
Likability / Rooting factors: strict and temperamental, students don’t like her.
How he reacts under stress:
Relationship with other characters: she was their dean of students yyears ago.
B. What is their Character Journey for this story? She has been principal since her husband retired ande knows her son is guilty of crimes, but she protects him.
Character Intro: at reunion, speech
Denial: they won’t uncover anything and son will not be there, but he is.
Her reaction at first horror: She doesn’t know.
Relation to group after first horror: she is at reunion.
How she fights back: At end she sends husband into the smoke to save Harlon, but husband doesn’t survive.
End Point: She loses son when he runs off.
What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? She got what was coming to her.
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Joyce’s Death Track
WIL: I have much more work to do on this.
Who. Valedictorian, The survivor. She is leader and most innocent.
Why. Tries to save others.
Who. Class president, he helps valedictorian go home at the end.
Why: To get away from the chaos.
1.First death: Basketball star, sho let the town lose the nat’l championship from bad decision.
How: beheaded in the gym
2.Who. Majorette. Bitchy. Jealous.
How. Killed with an old baton. And head left in helmut.
3.Who. Janitor, suspect for killings.
How. Hit and stuffed in furnace.
4. Who. Football captain. Messed up girls’ lives.
How. Meets mascot, but monster is wearing costume, too. Cut up.
5.Who: Mascot. Further terror.
How: Head severed.
6.Who. Yearbook editor. The innocent woman.
How: Throat slashed, but not mortal. increases the horror.Monster is interrupted. value. Who. She dies in hospital later.
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