[J.R Riddle]

What I learned doing this assignment: The details of a great screenplay are all woven like a beautiful piece of fabric. Forget to include one at the right point, using the weaker thread will change the resulting product.

I moved a few scenes forward and earlier, which changed the flow, setups and reveals. I had to do some major rearranging again to hit the marks. Probably as I now move around my outline to fit this new rewritten script, I’ll find more changes to implement.

Every single scene must have a purpose, a payoff and be engaging. As I learned, there are many ways, dozens of them to create change – pick one, work it out, and pray for the best. It can always be embellished and elevated again, before going into film.

Exciting class, and I’ve learned so much. I like my script, more, and I’m optimistic some others will feel the same, and say so with a screenwriting winning script, purchased and made into film. I hope my learning to be a better writer inspires and entertains with the final product.

[J.R Riddle]

What I learned? This was another fabulous lesson that inspired me into understanding more ways to elevate my script and any future scripts. My whole script dramatically improved with these changes, because of knowing what the agent, manager and actors are wanting.

I changed and elevated all 2 of my protag. and my antagonist, coming and going. They have more depth and more interesting scenes as a result. I’m excited about the possibilities. I also realize that I’ll go back again and elevate what I’ve missed and now found.

[J.R Riddle]

What I learned: Like the saying, “There are many ways to skin a cat” – no worries, as I’m a cat lover and owner. However, anyone knowing about cats knows simply getting the nails cut is a major accomplishment, so skinning is next to impossible unless the cat is dead!!

Therefore, kill your babies/favorite writing/scenes/kill and let go of former ideas, so that creativity downloads open, enhancng your writing again. Pause and let that happen. No rushing to find the many solutions of rewriting any dialogue. They will come.

I found with this lesson: Many ways to shorten dialogue as too wordy, also allowing the character’s main traits to be exemplified. Each character becomes more compelling. I’m going to do a “go through” again, as I’m aware that I may have missed some more. Great lesson!

[J.R Riddle]

Meaningful Action:

What I learned from this lesson 14:

Scenes can be weak, if too much dialogue covers the scene, rather than action. Figuring out the best action takes more time than one thought. Will the action set something else off? Does the action satisfy a past issue and could be a pay-off. Writing depth into the action is also important – rather than rambling, plus try to cut the size of the scene for a quicker read.

I will change several scenes into more action, being most aware that the action can’t be only a punch, spontaneously. but must have reasoning behind the punch – ie why? Not all bad guys mean to be bad guys; Some are forced, some enjoy the power, some are just selfish.

i changed a scene to show not only one betrayal, but two. One to the betrayed and one to the betrayer, plus added the why, which demonstrated both men were used by the same source. All based on false trust and misleading information.

Example: Purpose/meaning of scene: Who is the betrayer and why?

I rewrote this scene as a double betrayal.

Joe knows that there’s a betrayer, but doesn’t know who. He suspects someone inside his business. Blackmailed best friend John, is not even imagined as the betrayer, until John’s guilty confession. Joe is blindsided and devistatedly angry, because it’s his best friend betraying him and his family. But John is not the ultimate betrayer. It went 2 levels more in the scene. The action comes from Joe, physically attacking his long-time best friend at the end and holding the rest of his planned action against John until later, sending him to jail or worse: “Let him sweat.” Subtext: “like I’ve been sweating my life and business survival.”

[J.R Riddle]

What I learned from this assignment – Elevated Scene Structure:

Each scene can be elevated with this new lesson 13. I read and reread scenes and rewrote a few. I am more satisfied with my writing, as I can understand how these choices and changes add a completely new dimension – not recognized before, like “Irony.”

EXT. FRONT ENTRANCE – AFTERNOON

Sitting in Nicky’s Mercedes convertible, both dressed for work, Francesca and Nick exchange warm good-byes. Her legs exit the convertible first – One ankle wrapped. Motor running, Nicky remains in his driver’s seat and lights a cigar.

Doorman, George squints to see them. He sniffs the air like a dog. George hurries to help with Francesca’s pink crutches.

GEORGE – THE DOORMAN

Ms Francesca, you always smell like a beautiful flower garden. Ms Gina smells spicy. And Ms Angela smells like … well ah… Ms Giovana … all different.

FRANCESCA MARTINO

That’s enough. Thank you, George, you’re too kind.

Nicky lifts the crutches from the back seat and hands them to George.

GEORGE – THE DOORMAN

Here, you can’t forget these.

(looks negatively at Nikolai, sniffs)

You watch out now, Ms Francesca.

***************************************

[J.R Riddle]

What I learned: Really? I’ve learned so much that I could fill several sheets on this page, however, I won’t bore all of you with a long diatribe. I’m pleased that I can rate my scenes in such a fashion to know exactly what I’ve written – does each scene create what keeps an audience engaged, waiting for more.

I love these techniques. Now I’m detached from each scene and each beat – like reading the script for the 1st time, and it’s not mine. I believe that I have a good script that is becoming better. None of my scenes is a “10” because that would be perfection. I want to continue improving, so the highest rating I gave the scenes is a 8 but none lower than a “5” thanks to the class. Now I’m realizing what I have to still change to create a great script. I am more able to see/read/analyze if the scene turns positive to negative or negative to positive arc, plus if I’ve placed “hooks” where I need to entice the audience.

I am going to contact “Support” directly about understanding how to number the scenes.

[J.R Riddle]

Thank God and ScreenwritingU for this class. WOW! I have learned so many new techniques with this lesson- how to evaluate each scene, each beat. I have moved scenes around, rewritten and changed the arc of several, and realized how to let go of some scenes as unnecessary to the scripts main storyline and purpose.

Although, I’m still behind due to living a normal summer of business, family visits etc, however even more determined to finish the class with a wonderfully, improved and dynamic script. I still have to curb my perfectionistic tendencies, and I’m recognizing the pattern earlier. That in itself is a great improvement in my writing and writing style. My confidence is growing exponentially with each lesson.

[J.R Riddle]

Julie, I would be happy to read your outline and give feedback.

Contact me via email. Have a beautiful weekend!

[J.R Riddle]

What I’ve learned: My script now uses more genre-related scenes, more interest techniques. I’m not sure how to count scenes when it cuts back and forth between two locations? Do you count each cut back and forth, as a scene change, or only when the drama changes?

The script uses the following interest techniques:

Mystery – who done it? – several times

Suspense – who was in the Limo? Who survives chaos?

Intrigue – BIG one – who’s causing the chaos? Will business survive?

Cliff hanger – who’s dead? – several times

Surprise – Antag. not dead – several – who’s pregnant?

Twist – Helicopter won’t start – others? Who really loves who?

Betrayal – friends – several times

Dilemma – find his daughter? End pregnancy?

Character changes – better character changes all around

All around, my script has improved dramatically. Thanks everyone!

[J.R Riddle]

Stronger Leads: Adding more take charge scene changes for my leads – definite attitudes.

Stronger Intro: Changed 2 and the 3rd didn’t need much – he was already nasty and engaging.

Playing it safe: Made the characters more vulnerable, more defiant, controlling and less likable in some instances to change the arc.

Lead Characters not present. Didn’t realize the importance of having Leads in most scenes.

Combining scene ideas and condensing some to achieve less of these “not present” scenes.

Every day of doing the class work, I’m learning what I didn’t know and that importance. Now that I understand more and know how to think outside my box, I’m reevaluating the importance of specific concepts to improve my writing style. I’m pleased with how this is developing.

[J.R Riddle]

Yes, we have all had the same issues with unusual dates, wrongly placed sections, however I did get an answer and was able to access week 4. I was behind also due to family issues etc. that happened as the class issues happened. I believe that we all agree that the class is very informative as far as learning various techniques/breakthroughs. I know that I have – I can exchange with someone. Contact me if you’re ready – Jan R – 14soclv@gmail.com. Thanks everyone! Make it a great script, and make it a great life for yourself. Many new Blessings!

[J.R Riddle]

What I learned: This character, called Ali, impels me to revisit every emotional scene in my screenplays and write to a new level. Be bold! Be uncompromising in my character’s truths, wounds and secrets. I loved this class! Thank you, everyone, for your insights.

[J.R Riddle]

Ali was a confident, angry and egoistic young man – as a person, it was easy to see his wounds in this film. He was also a highly successful, talented fighter. This scene was well written regardless of whether it’s all true or compromised for the movie’s emotional effects. The emotional impact of this scene held the audience to empathizing with Ali’s belief of not fighting. When he could beat the pulp out of people he knew for money and fame, but would not, by his own emotional wounds, fight strangers for his country’s cause.

Having lived through those times, however we all could imagine both sides of humanity’s emotions at that point in our country’s history. I met Ali in New York, in later years, as we marched down a main street – he was friendly, funny, intellectually slow but still bigger than life. The disconnect for some people or media in the past, and this movie’s audience was that Ali forgot our “Country” fought a Revolutionary War and later a Civil War to give him that right to speak as he wanted, worship as he preferred and live a life with some measures of freedom. The film shows his emotions, rightly or wrongly; we can’t judge the man, Ali, only this script. The dialogue created a dynamic scene that held our attention and pulled us into his emotional wounds, pain and reality.

[J.R Riddle]

Hi everyone,

I already replied to this, but don’t see it?? To sum up, this would not be a movie that I would watch or like – very dark and negative. However, the acting and writing do accomplish what was set out to do – intimidate, frighten and possibly enjoy watching a psychopath do what is expected – be strangely weird, uncaring, unnerving and frightening. Good job at this – no redeeming-value human being. I’m hoping not to encounter this type of character anywhere, anytime, living or imagined by me.

[J.R Riddle]

This was a fun movie to watch for his diametrically opposing characters. We believe Greg is an up and up honest, great guy who loves his lady. However when put in uncomfortable situations, he lies and lies to get out of the problem, created by him alone. How can she, the princess-daughter trust a man who covers up everything to look good. Greg is weak and insecure – who wants a guy like this? She does, because her role-model Dad is manipulating, also evasive and wants to control everything. Greg looks like an easy-going dumb-dumb, easily manipulated by her, her father, friends and the family.

Drama is around deceit. In this scene, Greg is snooping and is caught with his hand already in the lie detecter apparatus, so to speak. Jack loves this. Jack can’t wait to get the goods/forcefully snooping on Greg with his lie device. Both want the best for princess, but both go about it the wrong way, and that makes for comedic, uncomfortable moments throughout.

I learned to create more of these uncomfortable moments, fingers in the pie/lie detector, in my screenplay – as I have very few if any. Great way to create anxiety, comic relief or fear and intimidation.

[J.R Riddle]

Each character is right for this script. Drama wraps around their wounds. One is vulnerable and one is not. One wants to help and one is denying help. One is kind and the one is selfish. These behavior differences and others create great conflict and a waiting for the emotional explosion. One has a higher IQ and one has a higher EQ, and that makes this interesting.

This is an interesting “cat & mouse” game. The question is, “Who is the cat & who is the mouse?” Will is ordered to therapy sessions, while hating authority and knowing he’s brilliant, Will sets out to play games rather that being honestly vulnerable. Both of these me have wounds and while Sean is a mature therapist, he is unwilling to tolerate emotional abuse from an emotionally immature, angry young man, no matter how brilliant he may be. Sean watches and listens, patiently, until Will crosses the line and attacks Sean’s beloved.

I’m learning how to create depth with many, many writing tools, but all the tools do not have to fit into my story. Applying all of these tools is unnecessary, as each would have to fit, make sense and would take some thought – where, what goes, how and why? Adding character depth cannot be about change alone or conflict alone just because we learned a new tool. The changes have to make sense on several levels and fit my character’s profiles.

[J.R Riddle]

It is easily seen how this cop gave up his values about helping people, helping children. When the “monster/child” begins to attack, he reacted with self-preservation and fired his gun. That face was not of a child but a monster.

The drama was based around all the death, destruction around the cop. What does he do? The cop character was moved by his helping nature, trained as a policeman, but obviously he’s frightened out of his wits when she turns around. An old wound?

The surprise “reveal” is that the little girl is not an innocent – she is an attacking creature. This would not be a movie that I would watch any longer than this clip. My screenplays are not as dark as this, so I will have a difficult time relating to my script – however I will look into this change of values on another level.

[J.R Riddle]

Fun scene to watch twice, especially since the guilt or innocence depends on Ms. Vito’s testimony. Characters show cultural differences, and many diversity differences. Rule here is, don’t assume anything. Looks are deceiving and when challenged, get ready for surprises. Ms. Vito passes the knowledge test and saves the day for the two boys, and her attorney boy friend looks good. The prosecuting team look manipulative and wrong, plus the Judge views Ms. Vito in a different and more positive light. This scene was imperative to winning the case.

I learned that looks can be deceiving, and I can add depth to my characters by changing a scene into a similar test of wits and knowing. Plus use the scene for reveals or set ups.

[J.R Riddle]

Changing my characters through this class helps me on so many levels. I would like to share with someone, who has some good scenes and characters that were improved to great – how did they do it?

[J.R Riddle]

This ending leaves one hopeful and cheering with the audience, yelling, “Rudy, Rudy” over and over. We know more is coming for a grand finish. Little dialogue proves if it’s written and directed to the best situation, “action speaks louder than words.”

Rudy, being the underdog, can’t lose as he’s already a winner with all the cheering. When he makes the tackle the whole audience goes nuts. They knew he could do something good that would lead to an even happier moment for everyone. Humble to the end, Rudy deserved all the recognition because Rudy never gave up – he just kept going at it again.

I learned: My screenplay is getting more character changes based on never giving up – keep being open to change, be patient and surround myself with optimistic, inspiring people who also believe in me and my writing. I love Hal’s idea of “unique” ending and character depth with Rudy being bigger than his size and smarter than his IQ abilities.

[J.R Riddle]

After reviewing my outline, I moved a scene closer to the beginning, which introduced my main characters with a stronger conflict and a stronger opening – more dynamic for a drama/thriller. Additionally, I moved other scenes around for a strong opener.

What I learned: Make changes if necessary and evaluate how those changes will affect your whole storyline and main characters with more intrigue, reveals etc.. Be bold and think more outside the box.

[J.R Riddle]

Learning the Genre Convention changed my big picture perspective. I have more a drama with thriller added. This assignment took time to focus on all the parts of the outline and pitch connection so that they work together. I realized some scenes needed to be moved, or deleted completely and stated in another scene’s action.

I learned that my big picture will continue to change to the final draft, and that’s okay. I’m being gentler on myself regarding a finish with these classes. I can continue at my own pace, since like some others, I have a busy summer life. As I let go of my favorites, as I add and delete scenes or move them elsewhere, I can strengthen the characters initially with better introductions, and build on their interesting personalities further. Ultimately my script will continue to improve, and pray it will find a production home with a prosperous studio.

[J.R Riddle]

What I learned: Strong character writing must have the character face obstacles, make changes and sometimes be prepared to shift gears quickly. Can the character do this or not, and face the consequences of a possible poor decision? Life without regrets in a Blessed life.

[J.R Riddle]

This intriguing opening of the film and the intro of Don Vito Corleone manipulates us into wanting more. A lone, standing man pours his anger, pain and frustration to someone we don’t see or know. However the speakers vulnerability and verbal pleading tells us the seated person has a lot of power to do something about this man’s pain. As the camera moves back we see the Don’s hands, not his face as yet. Who is he that sits in the shadows? We know he doesn’t go to the light but lives in the shadows. Only at the end of his pleading sad story, do we see the Don – tuxedo dressed and very serious. He has many sides, including being a great listener, judging from the diatribe spoken. The gentle Don shows, sits and listens while stroking a purring kitty. Even how he puts the cat down shows gentleness.

The analytical Don judges, pauses and answers the plead for help, which includes murder for desired justice, we see the domineering, crafty eye-for-an-eye powerful character show his true colors. This mob leader absolutely desires respect, loyalty, friendship, honor and humility. This complicated man doesn’t like killing just for murdering someone. But business before pleasure. His daughter’s wedding should be about her and hosting a memorable event, but stopped for a good period of time to do business with his mob patrons.

Then comes the serious Don’s gentle wrath – he never raises his voice, period. However what he says could cut through steel – he minces no words and humiliates the lone talker for his audacity, asking for a favor from the Don, before developing a any kind of caring friendship – Don is insulted, tells him so. at the end, the Don asks for a favor in return. At scene’s end, you know this character deeply.

I learned that I need to rewrite my opening scene and present my character differently, thinking it through and allowing him/her to represent many aspects, likable and unlikable.

[J.R Riddle]

Watching Hannibal Lector with new-be FBI agent, Clarice in the opening scenes fascinates. The FBI would not have sent her to convince him for investigative answers, if they thought she was too weak. However initially it looks like the slaughter of the lamb, Clarice/ She swallows hard, is fear-filled and intimidated, but holds her own with direct eye contact and gentle but persistent determination. You know they will be dueling mentally and emotionally to the end.

Hannibal does not change. He remains a genius intimidator, psycho-murderer and evil to the finish – having someone over “for dinner” does not mean feeding them. (great subtext).

Clarice grows endurance, curiously more competent and can play games with him, dodging power plays and responding like it’s a fencing match. Hannibal winds up admiring her brilliance and stamina and how she has much control over her emotions. She gets her killer, but not without stress and fearful times during the hunt. Clarice grows up – she’s a tough-ass woman.

I’ve learned to think through another way of saying, stating or doing some action in my script- better subtext, twists in meaning and possibilities for more intrigue.

[J.R Riddle]

Talk about role reversals – that makes this a fun story. Andrew wants to better himself by becoming an editor, but is held hostage by a strong, unfriendly woman boss. Margaret also becomes subservient to Andrew by blackmailing him into marrying her, just to keep her job. She is being deported as an alien – kind of funny in today’s US of A. as people pour in the borders without green cards and few are deported. Times change.

Commonality – none, except fear and neither wants to be with the other in marriage, and both want to keep their jobs. She has few friends, if any and a barren family life; he has a rich and loving huge family and friends in Alaska.

I loved this film, funny to the end, even knowing they will be married for the right reasons. All the disagreements couldn’t hide they were falling in love. Most people think of diversity today as gender and race, but having lectured and taught diversity, it is much deeper. Romantic couples starting out fighting and disagreeing on many levels are interesting to watch on screen. I’m realizing boring writing is the result of not knowing how to write deeper and more more real diversity: age, ethnicity, gender, culture, race, social level, education and even religion can make for a better read and selling my script.

[J.R Riddle]

Although I knew each character had an “arc” – I didn’t realize that using the same premise as the whole screenplay applied to characters in such a linear fashion. Very helpful as my characters, all, will be written differently.

[J.R Riddle]

What I learned from rewriting my characters is that the most interesting scenes develop from characters who come from totally different backgrounds or have different personalities, or have different age groups, cultures or countries. Think different for conflict, comedy and interesting development of scenes and story.

[J.R Riddle]

If anyone is ready to partner up this week, let me know.

[J.R Riddle]

After watching the 1st time, I noticed lots of mumbling, like both initially were holding back, almost shyly. She sang her own song, impressed Jackson, but no one else has been much impressed. Sitting on the street in the dark, lonely parking lot infers they were both empty, at the bottom. Both looked somewhat grungy – he looked like he badly needed a shower. Both lack self worth. Both have wounds from childhood: Ally’s mother was gone and Jackson’s father and mother were gone. Both have insecure, needy mannerisms. Attraction – She was mostly awed by his fame, and he mostly by her talent.

Neither felt good enough. Both enormously talented but lacking emotional support from the men who raised them. She felt ugly; he felt worthless due to losing his hearing, drinking and addictions. The attraction was both being on the common playing field of music, low self-esteem and neediness.

The second time watching: The drama was built on pain and insecurity. Both looking to the other to escape their realities. No happy people here. Jackson kindly said he was not good at keeping secrets, and correctly stated, as his issues were apparent. Jackson’s character arc continually tanked. When I had watched the Judy Garland, Barbra Streisand films based on co-dependent, emotional love, they were also depressing. This film scored a little higher through the arc of Gaga following her dreams and talent towards lasting success. That helps a somewhat positive ending. Not one of my favorite films, past or present, unless like all of us – for analyzing film and writing creative scripts.

[J.R Riddle]

This love triangle has interesting characters: Tess surprise at Danny showing up, and then her anger shows up by saying what Danny didn’t do for her and what he did to her. He wasn’t honorable in their relationship with lying, thieving and being irresponsible in the relationship. She wants security, however while Benedict can provide huge financial security, Danny hints that Benedict has less integrity, has her in a cage by knowing “everything in his casino” and infers that he knows something about him that she doesn’t.

When Benedict shows up and notices the chemistry. He knows all about Danny’s life of crime, and challenges him with his knowing. While Danny knows he’s on another man’s turf, he backs off, gives him his seat. Danny doesn’t want Benedict to suspect anything about anything, so he lies about the meeting, and Benedict knows he is lying. Subtext well written. It’s obvious all three are hiding something from emotions to power, intent and future actions to get what they want in their lives. The men infer “let the games begin” without saying it directly. Fun to watch.

What I learned: Deepen the triangle in my script with more wit and subtext and create a battle of movements and words, very politely and mannerly, would work as well.

[J.R Riddle]

Lots of male power struggle in this film: black vs white, young vs old, coach vs players, parents vs coaches, coaches vs coaches. – tons of testosterone. Everyone fights for individual survival, however the individuals must come together as a team to win. Everyone wants recognition. Boon states being tough without Mama will increase chances of gaining the team members giving up their individual prejudices, attitudes and wants for the goal of the team winning.Boon says he’s “a winner” and will not tolerate the individual egos fighting each other.

Drama is built around power control and ultimately winning – who’s strategy will work? Being Black in a segregate community carries old wound of judgement and discrimination in the old South. White players fear bing replaced with new, inexperienced black players taking their place in the line-up without earning that place.

Breakthrough: Don’t be afraid to write strong, even arrogant characters when appropriate to the story. No initial soft, nice guy can work towards a strong arc in development.

[J.R Riddle]

What I learned: This is an efficient way to deepen characters character arc, and should be done in the outline, before finishing the script completely.

Joe – Protag. #1

Beginning: Joe is confidently dapper, light-hearted and retired, friendly to all.

Inciting Incident: Fire and death of favorite employee.

T. Point 1: Angela’s bday party where Tony and he argue.

Mid Point: Kidnapping and Joe becomes fearful and unsure.

T. Point 2: Joe recalls Margo’ imperfections and affair, now sadly, skeptical and lonely.

Dilemma: Hunting for Gina – courageous and fearless

Major Climax: Joe confronts Maksim, fights for his beliefs.

End: Joe and family transformed into loving each other with support

***********

Gina: Protag. 2

Beginning: Gina is arrogant, a perfectionist, bossy and domineering, confident and brilliant

Inciting Incident: Head boss-women is failing due to fire and lack of employees

T. Point 1: Angela’s birthday party – being upstaged & losing control

Mid Point: Kidnapping

T. Point 2: Out of control, drugs involved and helpless

Dilemma: May face death, never see her family again

Climax: Fighting men and the environment

End – Humbled, nicer person and appreciates her family

[J.R Riddle]

No wonder the Academy Awards awarded this “Best Original Screenplay” – I thought the same and didn’t know it was the actual winner at first, and will always be one of my favorites!

These two men are mismatched on many physical dimension levels: race, culture, education, gay/straight, honest vs bends truth, ethnicity, manners. However, where they are alike is on the inner dimension: both have wounds, both are determined fighters, both have a big heart, both hide behind their pride, both will negotiate to get what the want, both need a job to be successful.

While I do have more than one mismatched pair in my script, my breakthrough rolls around making them even more mismatched through actions and words, but making some more alike internally.

[J.R Riddle]

Great scene about how negative character traits can be seen as positive by someone who sees life holistically, and can add one and one and not get three. Both Red and Sea Biscuit are fighters, not joiners. Both have serious wounds around trust and being pushed into surrendering anything. Both are determined not to give up the fight. The trainer sees all this with a few glances, watching them, and realizes this is a match made in race-winning heaven.

What I learned – create more static when writing some of my ‘first meets’ – not everyone needs to be nice and friendly, but questionably defensive, and appearing at times – for no reason at all, except for their inner issues of fear and wounds. I rewrote one of my first meets in this fashion, making the characters at first, wary of each other and defensively protective.

I love this class!

[J.R Riddle]

Of course, they belong together, in spite of logistics. She agrees with him, speaking casually to herself, while driving and listening. He displays his kindness and patience with his son’s phone call to a stranger, and publicly at that. Hiding any embarrassment, he is understanding his son’s perspective and reevaluating his own. To her, he’s sweet, understanding and needy. She wants to fill that need.

I learned that my “belong together” scene is based on a gut feeling, a love at first sight, or love at first “hello” kind of thing – very romantic, and not the bang-bang thank-you of some scripts today. I will deepen my scene with reflective words and actions that show the characters REAL personality like this scene captures so beautifully.

[J.R Riddle]

What I learned from this lesson was phenomenal, as I wanted to deepen some of my characters – this class helped by making me see them in different situations with different goals and changing the relationships already written. This breakthrough inspired me to do all my characters with this analysis below.

A. Joe’s Role: Father of only daughters, trained them to be independent but not of him.

B. Core Traits: Overly protective, loving, old fashioned, celibate, tough and determined

C. Motivation: Wants to know his family will be safe

D. Flaw/Wound: Flaw is his Fear of living full out; wound is his guilt

E. Secret/Hidden agenda: Deifies the daughter’s mother in spite that she cheated on him. His F. Hidden Agenda: To control everything and everyone in his life, even though he says the opposite.

G. Internal Dilemma: Wants his daughters to be financially independent, physically and intellectually, but emotionally he won’t cut the umbilical cords to let them fail or succeed without his meddling control.

H. Why Joe’s the perfect father: Joe deeply loves his daughters in that unconditional way, while his spoiled daughters continue to argue and create havoc in his life and their own.

[J.R Riddle]

Good afternoon,

I’m J.R. Ritchie aka Jan. Just realized I didn’t check in here.

It is exciting to understand all the possibilities in creating a rewrite. Several scripts sit, await the challenge of moving out of my ‘normal writing box’ – and being more disciplined to change. Unique and unusual about me – I can’t answer that in this short space and time, as family and friends have always said that “you’re a little different” in a complimentary, but wierd fashion. I’ll leave it at that, and focus on how to improve my writing.

[J.R Riddle]

Hi all, I don’t see many requests.

I’m ready to share a scene with somebody. Anyone else ready, please reply. I don’t do Twitter, right now, but have an email address.

Thanks, Jan

[J.R Riddle]

I learned that writing imperfect characters, with several flaws and fears, increases the chances of having a really profound script. Too often, writing “nice and normal” characters leads to a slow, boring script that can drone on and on. Emotional conflict creates interest. In this scene, Will moves his emotions from loving, relaxing to anger, aggression – culminating in a huge lie, “I don’t love you.” Will’s classic fear of rejection confirms his attitude of “reject first, before I am rejected.

Skyler portrays complete vulnerability – she’s open and honest, but Will doesn’t believe her. Will projects his deceitful nature, to hide, lie and exaggerate, on Skyler and she’s dumbfounded because of it. Still, she begs for his love, and he attacks her more for her vulnerability.

Watching this scene reminded me that most people are deeply flawed – I rewrote a scene showing more the flaws of my characters, vulnerability is key – and it reads now with added curiosity and emotional depth.

[J.R Riddle]

This series secrets and reveals were well written; no wonder the great success.

Drama develops with the dying man’s insistence of knowing what’s in his pocket. The written Poster set the whole thing off, as now someone besides the dying man knows who Kate really is – but does Jack or any of us, the audience?

This Kate is a complicated character – beauty attracts but her secretive, evasive nature intrigues and repels. That game, “I never” was subtly explosive as more was revealed than expected – yes, Kate did kill someone. On a minor note, she’s relatively uneducated, but is street smart instead. She’s never voted or had a one-night stand. Kate is a closed character on many levels, coldly methodical, as shown in the explosion/fire scene as she simply rides off. Being vulnerable, she’s not going to reveal anything too quickly.

Sawyer plays well, as the sneaky narcissist, someone not to trust. He loves being selfish.

Watching Jack’s disappointed and disillusioned face when he found saw the poster was heart breaking – Jack’s deeply infatuated with Kate and probably falling in love.

Gestures, facial expressions and the actor’s eyes show more than dialogue in some scenes. Silence is deadly. Three reveals helps deepen the character and builds tension. I

[J.R Riddle]

J.R. Riddle aka Jan

I agree to the terms of this release form in its totality. Thank you!

If you agree to the terms of the release form, then you can post your assignments into the group and your cohort can give feedback on them.

Also, if you don’t agree to this group confidentiality agreement, you’ll still need to sign an agreement that says you will keep the strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

+2

[J.R Riddle]

I agree to the terms stated; I trust ScreenwritingU and fellow writers to opt for integrity and personal writing brilliance during each class.

[J.R Riddle]

What I learned from Lost.

Great writing about secrets and reveals will enhance tension and wanting to binge watch if writing is a series. My script has a few major secrets, and while I have set them up, I realize there is room for improvement by creating more tension between characters like, ” … why the gun?” “where from – the Russian knife?” Secretive person not revealing any background on the character. Setting up in several scenes on known deception builds more questioning and tension.

[J.R Riddle]

Good Morning, I am JR Riddle aka Jan. Like many of you, I’ve enjoyed many of Hal and Cheryl’s classes. Now I’m fascinated with the potential of this rewrite class. I have written several scripts over the years and want to improve my style and professionalism. The rewrite that I’m focusing on has placed in the Maui Writers Conference and won a screenwriting contest in Arizona. However, not good enough! Doing a proper rewrite and elevating all my scripts to a that new level is my long-term goal, one at a time. My 2nd goal: selling at least one this year.

[J.R Riddle]

What I learned: After looking at several scenes in my script, I realized how much and what needed rewritten. I added more subtext, cut some words and make my characters’

tones, different and compelling. My breakthroughs included seeing for the first time, new and different character reactions, complexities and set-up possibilities.

[J.R Riddle]

The 2nd time watching:

The drama was built around Savor/Victim caused by pain/anger leftover from war. Junah’s Soul is conflicted. His past drives his negative lifestyle.

Traits?

Junah: weak, angry, indecisive, victimized, arrogant, empathetic, honest, witty, sarcastic

Baggar: mystical, witty, humble, unselfish, thought-provoking, all-knowing, helpful

[J.R Riddle]

Where is Junah coming from? Junah is a lost soul. He has fallen from Grace, lost his confidence and escapes into booze, disengaged from life. PTSD has Junah’s name next to it since with war ended. The war goes on for Junah. Once a famous golfer, Junah has lost his golf swing along with his former great attitude. He has no insight, foresight or future with or without golf. But he’s hitting balls in the dark into nowhere, (kind of asking for help from the darkness) and that does happen. Negatively practicing his swing, his anger, his contempt for himself and life is prevalent. Junah is a loser, until Baggar saunters out of the dark night from nowhere and answers Junah’s unknown cry for help. Until Junah offers food to Baggar, he’s quick tempered and totally unlikeable. That demonstrates some depth of the pre-war likable Junah, who possesses a good, generous and empathetic heart.

Baggar Vance appears out of nowhere, coming from some unknown place, out of the darkness, a void. He appears knowing everything important to know about Junah. This is a great scene, infers that he’s the one to lead Junah back into the Light. He knows unknown and known, before being asked or told.

Baggar has the insight to see the past, present and future of Junah. I believe that he is a mystical angel or from some other dimension to encourage Junah into living and loving again. To me, this is the Grace of God sent due to Junah’s war courage. Baggar points to the right choices for Junah’s golf match, but a metaphor regaining his mojo for living full-out again. Baggar isn’t greedy, wanting $5. instead of a possible $1000. He’s pragmatic in his approach with Junah, and enticing him to choose wisely, first by choosing him as his caddy after Baggar stripes the ball into the unseen darkness. Baggar shows a smiling wisdom; Junah’s opposite, a wise-guy spouting arrogant jests. Baggar humbly reacts to everything with a smiling, doesn’t-matter-to-me attitude – your choice, your game, your life.

What makes them right for this movie? Both men are very good looking, that makes them even on that premise. Both are dynamic, interesting characters, showing strength through different and opposite behaviors. They initially conflict on most everything. Their personal attitudes and behaviors continues the conflict through most of the script. This is key to writing and having an engaging script, a quick read to the finishing page.

[J.R Riddle]

This great scene fascinates. Both Kyle and Sarah are living in fear – fear for their lives and more. The character difference is that Kyle has mastered his fear and has become fearless and courageous, saying, “I would die for John Connors.” Kyle knows the big picture of doom and destruction, what needs to be done. He is still courageous and fighting. While ignorant, inexperienced Sarah, on the other hand, is frightened beyond her ability to to even try to be courageous. Until now, she has lived a simple life, working, partying, playing at life. No more, since the seemingly indestructible Terminator continues to hunt them down. Kyle is her savor, mentor/leader, her lover. Kyle takes a bullet and is not concerned. Sarah is, and she kindly treats his wound in spite of wanting to barf – the first sign of moving outside her current insignificant life. She questions Kyle about her son, unknowing that Kyle is soon-to-be father of her hero son. What an enormous and dynamic character arc for Sarah. How exciting for us, the audience, to imagine the person that she’s going to become after this scene when we hear of her achievements and accolades. We hear that she has become “a legend” and hero that everyone admires. In this scene, she is a like a frightened animal who “…can’t even balance her checkbook.” What a ride we, as the audience, are going to experience her changes and growth, as she fights for her life, and the life of her unborn son, John, who’s destiny is to help save the planet with her. This beautifully written scene ends with Sarah calming down, thinking more deeply about what is ahead in her life. What is her unknown future and realizing that she must survive to bring her amazing child into a destructive, futuristic world.

[J.R Riddle]

What I learned from this assignment is discernment about how to use each character’s dialogue without wasting a word. Every word is important to create chaos or peace, expound truth or falsehoods, hide or expose, build or collapse – depending on our structure, characters and story. When we write a script, we should know the outcome desired, like Kyle, but not always the how, when and why until we write the layers into characters and the various scene experiences. The script’s future is changeable, and can lead in many directions. If well-written, our audience experiences many emotions and is surprised, pleased, etc. However, like Sarah, the reader/audience is being led without knowing the future, the ending. It’s up to the writer to create belief, trust (Come with me on this adventure…) and provide an experience that satisfies and gives more than expected.

[J.R Riddle]

What I learned today challenges how I write. – sometimes simple and direct dialogue can express tons of subtext backstory without backstory. Other times a run-on dialogue can do the same without boring the audience. When to write what and when to use various insights or reveals then creates a page-turning script. Focus and accept only my best from my writing, rewrite again and look deeper for something more – don’t settle for mediocrity. Be bold!

[J.R Riddle]

Hi there, I love Hal & Cheryl’s classes and have taken quite a helpful few. I’m optimistic that this one will also be fantastic with all of you very interesting people involved. I have written several scripts and have been a writer for many years in various genres – always fun and challenging to create something new. I’m looking forward to crafting characters with more depth. What makes me unique or strange? I’ve been called that all my life, so to state how would take another challenging, newly-written script. Right now, I’m looking forward to getting my scripts sold because my scripts are unique, special and unusual. Ditto for all of you, I’m sure! 🙂 🙂

[J.R Riddle]

I learned today that this can become very confusing. It’s better to go slowly, taking one step at a time and adding misdirection as needed/appropriate. Or the audience will become confused too and lose interest in following a frustratingly confusing scenario. Less maybe more when writing and overlapping twists, clues, coverups etc.

A. The Red Herring character misdirection:

John admits he was asked by an unknown person, paid by an unknow person to drag out the union contract negotiations & help create problems. Says he doesn’t know who is mfg. the extreme chaos.

B. The Villain’s plan: Maksim hides the fact that Nick is his son, working for him and not Joe. Otis and Joe believe that Nick is not guilty but under suspicion for not making the union negotiations work to the casino’s fair advantage.

C. The cover-up for each mystery presented as “Reality:” I must review this as not sure what is meant.

2. Look through your Thriller Map for a few opportunities to add in misdirection: I am thinking that a clue could be misdirection; also a twist, coverup and others could be misdirected??? Is this also correct??

A. Clue Misdirection: Not knowing where as yet, I will drop in a few as needed when the rewrite begins to take shape.

B. Character Misdirection: John is guilty of sabotaging the casino union operations, and called out by Joe, however he thinks that it maybe Maksim but doesn’t say anything until Gina is kidnapped.

C. Dialogue Misdirection. As I write the new dialogue, I will add some misdirection.

******************************************

[J.R Riddle]

Today I learned that I need more clues to set up the main mysteries. I like the way my script is improving and deepening. Still not sure about the “Map.”

MAIN MYSTERIES:

1. WHO OR WHAT IS CAUSING ACCIDENTS & THE CASINO DESTRUCTION?

Clues include:

a. Men smuggling drugs

b. Too many strange Russians in the area

c. Too many odd accidents

d. Money laundering

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>e. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Customers driven away by fights in casino

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>f. Press is being fed bad information by whom?

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>g. Who all in the union is creating problems?

2. WHO KIDNAPPED JOE’S DAUGHTER, and which one or ones?

Clues include:

a. All the sisters wear red bottomed shoes

b. Limo predominant

c. Russian Nanny

d. Strange gifts arrive

e. Strangers give the twins a ride home

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>f. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Nick is snooping

g. House robbery by a Russian

3. WHO IS NICK?

Clues include:

a. Nick is too accommodating and curious

b. Mayhem began when Nick was hired

c. Nick speaks several languages

d. Nick was schooled in Europe and Harvard

e. Nick has a soft heart

f. Nick has strange habits like playing with a knife

g. Nick doesn’t always follow up/drops the ball

h. Nick looks like Francesca

4. WHAT HAPPENED (to create hatred) BETWEEN JOE, MARGO, TONY AND MAKSIM?

Clues include:

a. Casino only plays 70s music and décor is 70s

b. What’s with Joe’s gold cufflinks?

c. Joe and Maksim knew each other during the war

d. Joe saved Maksim’s life

e. Maksim lost his leg

f. Joe left Margo alone in Germany

g. Joe wants a son after 2 daughters

h. Margo died in some unspoken, strange fashion

Joe doesn’t drink or curse – why?

[J.R Riddle]

Help! Today I learned that I am a better writer, however help is needed. I’m not exactly sure what a “Thriller Map” looks like completely; I have the pieced ideas but not a complete concept. Can we please have some feedback on this “Thriller Map” written & visually.

Mystery: Who are these strange men?

Suspense coverup: Fly in at night – what’s in the boxes – too dark to be seen clearly.

Reveal: Maksim’s Russian mercenaries out to harm Joe.

Mystery: Four sexy young women riding in a fancy Limo?

Intrigue: They seem like Vegas visitors, a bridal party having fun? Friends? Why so cynical?

Reveal: These 4 wealthy women own and run a L.V. casino.

Mystery: Why do all four women wear red-bottomed, designer shoes?

Intrigue: The women seem connected but disconnected from each other.

Reveal: The shoes state who they are – Wealthy but unique, disconnected, and nasty.

Mystery: Who is this perfectionistic, knife-wielding foreigner? Why and what is he up to?

Intrigue: What’s in the cargo boxes? Who ordered it? The unknown, cigar smoking man?

Reveal: None of these men – Maksim did.

Mystery: Who is this friendly cowboy who knows everyone?

Why does he like the 70s Retro Casino’s décor and play only 70’s music? Who is Otis?

Reveal: His life is in the shit hole now – The 70s was Joe’s most happy time of life.

Mystery: Who are the men that walked away smiling.

Intrigue: Did they start the fire/explosion. Was it Otis? Will there be more?

Suspense: How many are dead? Were they visitors or workers?

Reveal: Destruction belongs to Maksim.

Intrigue: The four women work at the casino. Are they related? Who’s party?

Suspense: Will the party be safe or more dangerous accidents/explosions?

Reveal: The four women own/manage the whole casino.

Intrigue: Who is Margo? Is she the owner of Margo’s? Is it her party? Who are these people?

Reveal: Margo is Joe’s perfect, dead wife that he still loves/grieves.

Intrigue: Why do the four sisters want to keep Joe and Tony out of the Casino?

Reveal: Power fighters, Joe and Tony disrupt the casino; create nasty scenes.

Suspense: Will the BDay party begin and end without disruption/mayhem?

Intrigue: Everyone thinks that it was successful; the kidnapping occurs after the party.

Mystery: Who are Joe’s real friends?

Reveal: Some are not, including John.

Suspense: Who is behind the accidents?

Intrigue: It’s not who is first believed.

Reveal: Maksim, an old friend turned enemy has a destructive plan ongoing.

Mystery: How do Otis and Joe know each other from Chicago?

Intrigue: Is Otis his real friend?

Reveal: Otis helps create the fix on what’s going on.

Suspense: Who can Joe trust?

Mystery: Who has created this ongoing evil.

Reveal: Joe figures out it’s not the local union.

Intrigue: Will Joe get the support he needs to save his casino and Gina?

Reveal: Tony steps up. General Sawyer steps up. Otis steps up.

Intrigue: Will the sisters find out that Gina is kidnapped?

Suspense: Will Tony or Joe tell the sisters what they know?

Reveal: The older sisters know, but why didn’t they tell Giovana?

Suspense: Pop Tony did not know Giovana used drugs.

Reveal: What will be his reaction?

Suspense: Will Giovana stay off serious drugs to be helpful? Will Tony convince/threaten his granddaughter to grow up, or he will disinherit her.

Reveal: Giovana being upset and angry about Gina, says she will go straight.

Mystery: Will Tony figure out a way to board the helicopter?

Intrigue: Will Joe and Otis throw him out if found. How will Tony react?

Reveal: Tony realizes he will be an obstacle, due to his issues.

Suspense: Can Joe save Gina before they kill her? Where is she?

Intrigue: Will all the equipment work? Will the team be good enough?

Reveal: His brilliant team knows how to go around obstacles.

Suspense: Is Gina drugged and dead?

Intrigue: Will her chip die before she is rescued?

Reveal: The UV and bad guys are discovered in the desert.

Mystery: Will Nick back Tony or continue revenge with Maksim.

Intrigue: Will Nick figure out who his father might be instead and not marry Francesca.

Reveal: Nick softens.

Mystery: Are the Martino women and Gina healing and doing well after the rescue?

Reveal: Gina has PTSD. Francesca is pregnant. Giovana is off drugs – for now.

Intrigue: Francesca’s pregnant to Nick – How long before she finds out he’s her brother?

Mystery: Will Francesca keep the baby or abort it once the truth is known.

Intrigue: Can the casino recuperate with all the issues destroying Joe’s business.

Reveal: Things are going slowly back to normal – the 50^th Anniversary party will happen.

Suspense: Can Tony forgive; pull his family together and find family unity continues.

Intrigue: What else is Tony hiding? Is Tony really wheelchair bound forever.

Reveal: Tony can walk.

Suspense: Who shot Maksim? Was Maksim dead? Did he have a heart attack?

Intrigue: If alive, is he through with his Martino revenge? Go back to Europe?

Mystery: Will Nick support another of Maksim’s schemes, or live his own life?

Reveal: Maksim makes negative, future plans; Nick walks away.

[J.R Riddle]

I’m learning to deepen my script writing by looking for and anticipating places where holes can be filled with more excitement and twists. This helps eliminate bland dialogue or actions with weak turning points.

Hero: Joe

Villain: Maksim and Assoc. (Unknown at first) – finding out the truth of Margo

Red Herring Character: local union (not trustable in negotiations/fear mongering)

Trusted, but shouldn’t be John and Nick – Sells out for money/Sells out Martino family for father’s loyalty and love

Isn’t trusted but should be: Tony – Finds out the truth about Margo and her death.

Hero / Villain Not Trusted: End of story; Maksim leads Joe to believe he’s open to a peace-making meeting. However, he is not and still carrying jealousy and revenge.

Hero / Red Herring Character Trusted: Being Joe’s best friend, he loves the family. However, his young, expensive wife is becoming unaffordable, and he needs money. John thinks it’s only about screwing with union contracts. Not realizing the depth of destruction, Maksim has planned, he sells Joe out for money.

Red Herring /Martino Family Isn’t Trusted: Union pickets, sends threatening letters, sets fires, gives bad press etc.

Hero / Trusted, but shouldn’t be: Nikolai/Nicky, charming, intelligent attorney assistant to Gina is Maksim’s unknown son, who helps plan Joe and family destruction on a daily basis.

Hero / Isn’t trusted, but should be: Pop Tony, who hates Joe, however would fight to the death for his family and granddaughters,

JOE – JOHN TRUST: John is Joe’s best friend; they golf together weekly. They attend each other’s family events for over 30 years.

DISTRUST: Threatening letters left in Joe’s home mailbox.

TRUST: John reassures Joe that he met with union leaders, who agreed to back off the home attacks due to his grandchildren living there.

DISTRUST: Fire bombing at employee entrance.

DISTRUST: John blames Gina. Assures Joe to be patient, as he’s doing his best with the union.

TRUST: John steps up, attends Angela’s BDay party with a huge gift of a beautiful birthstone necklace.

DISTRUST: John’s young wife is on a shopping spree, overspending in Beverly Hills, and not at Angela’s party. John needs money.

TRUST: John is Gina’s Godfather and would not hurt her intentionally.

DISTRUST: John did screw up the union negotiations, and delays closing. is being accomplished as the union threats increase on Joe’s family and violent fires/pickets at his casino’s front entrance causing bad press.

TRUST: John is Gina’s godfather and adores her – didn’t know the depth of the hatred for Joe, but John would not have put her at risk.

DISTRUST: When challenged with the Russian concept, John’s guilt causes his confession, because he, too, was roped in by the Maksim/Russian plan, and didn’t know about Gina’s kidnapping. Unacceptable loyalty, Joe throws him out.

JOHN – MARTINO FAMILY TRUST: Joe, the managers and the daughters believe that John helping the family.

TRUSTED: Gina, Nick and John could calm and negotiate the with union nuts.

TRUST: Union backed off pickets for the day of Angela’s BDay party.

DISTRUST: John’s wife is on a shopping spree in Beverly Hills, and not at Angela’s party.

DISTRUST: Someone broke in Joe’s home. Joe defended his family by killing the intruder, thought to be tied to the union sympathizers.

DISTRUST: No one trusts John now. When challenged with the Russian concept, John’s guilt causes his confession, because he, too, was roped in by the Maksim/Russian plan, and didn’t know about Gina’s kidnapping. Unacceptable loyalty, Joe throws him out

NICK/NIKOLAI – JOE & FAMILY TRUST: Nick/Nikolai was hired by Gina, and she’s too smart to be fooled.

TRUST: Plus, other management members group interviewed him. He’s a brilliant attorney and a wonderful addition to the Martino management team.

DISTRUST: Nick seems to be late for union meetings and doesn’t add much to the negotiation meetings – more fluff than brilliance.

DISTRUST: Joe doesn’t like Nick’s disappearing/no phone contact with his daughter, who ends up at the emergency room/hospital.

TRUST: The sisters see Nick helping Francesca and the developing love relationship between Nick and very choosy, skeptical Francesca.

TRUST: Nick has stopped/avoided Francesca’s kidnapping.

DISTRUST: Maksim pushes against Nick’s decisions.

TRUST: Joe sees how quickly Nick has stepped up to cover for Gina, missing from union meetings. He meets with the outside Press to quell union problems.

DISTRUST: Nick is caught eavesdropping at the surveillance, locked doors.

TRUST: Francesca defends Nick.

DISTRUST: The sisters talk, and no one trusts Nick any longer. Who is Nick really?

DISTRUST: Francesca’s pregnant.

FRANCESCA – NICK DISTRUST: Francesca doesn’t care for Nick and sees him as narcissistic, overly placating and overly charming manipulator.

DISTRUST: Nick dances with Francesca, but no attachment to his charms.

TRUSTS: Nick protects Francesca after her ankle accident.

DISTRUST: Nick caused the ankle sprain accident.

TRUST: Nick wins over Francesca with caring ways and concern over union.

DISTRUST: Nick accuses her of snooping, argues with Francesca.

TRUST: Apologizes and they begin to date. Francesca and Nick fall in love.

DISTRUST: Francesca’s pregnant.

JOE – TONY DISTRUST: Tony harangues Joe every chance that he gets, including publicly at Angela’s BDay party.

TRUSTS: Joe sees the love Tony has for his granddaughters; separate from the hate he has for Joe.

DISTRUST: Joe refuses to help Tony fight for his casino.

TRUST: Tony turns around and offers to help.

DISTRUST: Joe again sees the sneaky, underhanded side of Tony.

TRUST: Tony will risk his reputation – acquire illegal weapons and supplies support for Gina’s recapturing.

DISTRUST: Tony sneaks out the hidden, secret back door to the parking lot.

TRUST: Tony never squealed about girls’ surveillance chips, he keeps the granddaughters busy and away from danger.

DISTRUST: Tony argues, tries to take over the main plans, when Joe already pulled in legal help with his gov’t favors via his good friend, General Sawyer.

TRUST: Tony finally backs off going to Mexico in favor of what’s best for Gina.

DISTRUST: Tony hasn’t needed the wheelchair for 6 months. Faked. After Gina’s return, he hops out in front of Joe and the family. What else is faked?

TRUST: Hosts Thanksgiving dinner, reinforcing family unity and forgiveness.

**********************************

[J.R Riddle]

I learned that writing a great thriller takes time, know-how, creative depth with planned surprises of twists and turns.

BUILDING CURRENT DIRECTION TWISTS

Joe walks happily through the casino – Twist: Now saddened, Joe learns of casino fire and dead employees.

Happy four sisters prepare for a mascaraed, Angela’s Birthday party – Twist: Giovana rebels.

Stranger, well-dressed Viktor, visits Angela’s party to spy or? Twist: Viktor thwarted, asked to leave.

Limo driver murdered; daughter (s) abducted? Twist: Casino accidents just got worse.

Musician Billie-Bob lures naïve Giovana into hiring him. Twist: Billie-Bob really works for Maksim.

Joe concern about the safety of Angela’s birthday party. Twist: Safety issue turns bad AFTER the party.

Daughters meet to discuss helpful safety measures. Twist: Daughters don’t know THEY are the target.

Giovana has drugs and sex with Billie-Bob/setup kidnapping? Twist: Giovana throws him out.

Everybody likes charming Nick and hires him. Twist: Big mistake as nobody now likes sneaky Nick.

Francesca is the daughter Maksim wants kidnapped ie CFO. Twist: Nick falls in love with her.

Nick obeys everything Maksim wants done. Twist: Not Francesca, Nick against his father and abducts Gina.

Viktor seems like an ignorant roughneck. Twist: He is not that person; he’s an educated surgeon.

Best friend John B. helps with Union negotiations. Twist: John betrays Joe’s family for money.

Giovana stopped by a bad guy policeman. Twist: Cop likes Giovana and treats her with empathy.

Union not responsible for all evil destruction. Twist: John betrayed but not as believed – tried to help issues.

Accidents are not accidents. Twist: Accidents caused by a group of Russian mercenaries hired by??

Holding his grudge, Tony refuses to help Joe. Twist: Tony puts family first and agrees to help.

Careless Joe caused Margo’s death. Twist: Tony acknowledges that his mafia friends caused her death

Hateful Maksim holds Joe responsible for his crippled leg. Twist: Jealous Maksim loved Joe’s wife.

Francesca appears fragile. Twist: During union aggression, Francesca saves Nick by knowing self-defense.

Joe believes Margo was his love only. Twist: Joe knows she was Maksim’s too.

Angry Nick finds Francesca’s spying. Twist: She’s looking innocently for something, now she’s angry.

Staying back, Joe sends security as a defense against crooks. Twist: Joe physically joins the fight.

Daughters think Joe insisted only on Karate lessons. Twist: Extreme measure, Joe placed tracking devices.

Controlled, in-charge Joe doesn’t drink after Margo’s death. Twist: Otis rescues Out-of-control, drunk Joe.

Exact location found and all looks good. Twist: Kidnappers leave to drop Gina in the desert to die.

The best rescue equipment all working. Twist: Doesn’t matter as location unknown again – Gina’s chip dies.

Drugged Gina looks weak and vulnerable. Twist: She’s acting, avoided enough drugs as enough alertness.

Angela believes sweet Nanny Alba cares for her family. Twist: Undermining Alba works for Maksim’s hate.

Nick’s belief that evil Joe deserves Maksim’s wrath. Twist: Nick softens and wants an end to mayhem.

Joe’s health issues limit his physical strength. Twist: Joe jumps in and finally saves his daughter.

Selfish daughters compete and fight with each other. Twist: After rescue, all four accept and forgive each other.

Thanksgiving family day, Gina humbled, smiling, healthy. Twist: Gina hides PTSD weakness from the family.

Tony hates Joe. Twist: Tony relents, reunites the family into being a loving family.

Daughters try for perfection, due to Joe pushing that their mother was a “Saint.” Twist: Joe does push perfection any longer.

Francesca pregnant and loving the child coming. Twist: Will she abort when finding the truth about possible brother Nick?

Why does Joe ease on Nick – (turn his cheek, to end the family’s fearful conflict? Twist: Does Joe know Nick is possibly the son he and Margo always wanted?

Is Maksim dead? Tony has to know? Twist: Joe won’t tell.

Again, Tony thinks Joe was a patsy and acting weak. Joe should have him arrested. Twist: No fear, Joe met face to face with Maksim to kill him.

Joe meets with Maksim to kill him. Twist: Joe changes his mind, wants a deep understanding.

Joe wants no revenge on Maksim, life to go peacefully. Twist: Maksim lies to Joe’s face – thinks differently with renewed revenge.

Nick hated by all the Martino family, fired, and waiting for jail sentence. Twist: If Joe relents, will there be no prosecution.

Nick/Nikolai obeys/loves his father, Maksim. Twist: Nick breaks away from Maksim’s control.

Maksim is shot, dead by Joe in self-defense. Twist: Unforgiving, jealous Maksim wore a bullet-proof device. Only lives to taunt again. Joe doesn’t know this.

[J.R Riddle]

Through this assignment, I learned to play with possibility. Since I’m creating this, this script can be anything imagined, loaded with innuendo, truth, secrets and excitement. Hopefully improving in the next few weeks – this is my possible, ultimate goal.

Opening: Illegal drugs arrive by plane. What’s the plan? Who are these people?

1. V. Plan: Destroy a family, a casino business and a man’s life. Two strange, foreign men stalk the four sisters while creating the beginnings of a personal war.

2. Mystery: Why do the four vacuous, young women act deserving all the attention?

3. V. Plan: Maksim’s invisible. Be covert. Viktor with no conscience manages havoc.

4. Threatening: Strange men set fire/explosion to casino entrance causing the death and injury of employees.

5. In the casino, unaware and retired, Joe smiles, but dismayed about accidents and injuries.

6. The four sisters prepare/plan for a mascaraed, Angela’s Birthday party.

7. Threatening: Adversary, Pop Tony holds his Mafia friends too close.

8. V. Plan: Joe’s friend, John B. oversees Union contract with little help given.

9. V. Plan: Stranger, well-dressed Viktor, visits Angela’s party to spy or?

INCITING INCIDENT (P.10): Limo driver murdered; daughter (s) abducted?

10. Intrigue: Maksim’s son, Attorney Nick works in Joe’s Casino, watching and planning.

11. Mystery: Why of Maksim’s hate. Flashback of Joe and Maksim first meet.

12. Threat: Maksim and Nikolai meet, plan Joe’s daughter torture or death?

13. Mystery: Fruit basket arrives – who is it from? Unknown?

14. Joe plays golf with John B. and discussed/argue Union negotiations.

15. Threat: Musician Billie-Bob lures naïve Giovana into hiring him.

16. Threat: Women customers threatened/purse snatching.

17. Threat: Union is picketing Joe’s casino, creating bad press.

18. Daughters meet to discuss helpful measures.

19. Mystery: Joe’s Flashback – Perfect wife Margo and his marriage relationship.

20. Mystery: Otis, Security Manager finds/hides black panties in the hallway.

21. Joe has unspoken health issues.

22. Threat: Joe speaks with his security head, Otis Rosewell, with concern about the safety of Angela’s birthday party that night.

23. Mystery: Russian Nanny Elba living in Joe’s home, good or evil?

24. Maksim castigates his son, argues Nikolai’s/Nicky’s weaknesses.

25. Viktor and Maksim show their deep evil connected personalities.

26. Mystery: Who hired Nick? Nick’s been advising Angela on failing marketing.

27. Intrigue: Nicky plays flirting games with Francesca, over and over.

28. Angela’s party filled with celebs, mafia and Joe’s old friends.

29. Famous entertainer sings at Angela’s party, as Viktor watches.

30. Threat: Adversaries, Joe and mob-lover Tony have an altercation at the party.

31. Threat: Hired Billie-Bob drugs Giovana and has sex with her – abducted?

32. Mystery: Who is the unconscious daughter in the back of a black van?

TURNING POINT (P.30): Titled – “Day 2 – The After-Party Pain” Which unknown of Joe’s daughters was abducted?

1. V. Plan: Maksim meets with Nikolai/Nick, Viktor to further their revenge.

2. Threat: Viktor, an MD admits to ease of Russian surgery murders as ordered.

3. Continuing Flashback of Joe and Maksim, who was crippled in the war.

4. Mystery: What will happen as Nick reinforces familiarity with Francesca.

5. V. Plan: Nikolai/Nick lures in Francesca – will she be abducted?

6. Angela’s birthday party continues, as Tony infuriates Joe all night.

7. Mystery: Hired Billie-Bob seduces addictive Giovana – will she be abducted?

8. Mystery: Viktor abducted one of the daughters – which one?

9. Joe’s stressed. His old friend, Dominic, the driver’s dead and which daughter was kidnapped. He doesn’t know which one and can’t locate any of them.

MID-POINT/45: Titled “Day 2 – The Pain” Joe’s casino collapses further with more personal problems.

1. V. Plan: Joe’s over-the-top stressed. His old friend, Dominic, the driver’s dead and which daughter was kidnapped. He doesn’t know and can’t locate them.

2. Threat: Flashback of Maksim growing hatred – Joe caused him a crippled leg and left for dead during the war.

3. Maksim’s Lake Las Vegas home – “I’m richer than God.” Maksim has a bad heart.

Bad mood Joe meets with casino managers to discuss repair/adjust measures.

4. Joe puts a silence lid on all the mayhem with security boss, Otis.

5. V. Plan: Surveillance witnesses/stops Russian-arranged money laundering – how much loss and how long has this been going on?

6. Joe defends his casino in a physical fight with the Russian gangsters.

7. Threat: Joe approaches his other enemy, Pop Tony, as his home. Tony refuses to help him, at first. Tony has a bad heart and can’t walk.

8. Mystery: How did Margo die? Tony blames Joe for his daughter, Margo’s death.

9. Angela screams at Giovana to fire Billie-Bob immediately.

10. Mystery continues: Joe is still unsure of which daughter was kidnapped. He’s hunting the daughters – asking questions etc. Has it down to Gina or Francesca.

11. Angela and Giovana go on a snooping spree to find out what’s hidden/going on?

12. Mystery continues: Gina doesn’t show at court for a meeting. Where’s Gina?

13. V. Plan: Gina is being held in Mexico by perverts and druggies.

14. On crutches, Francesca’s with Nicky – an accident, overnight in the hospital.

15. Joe learns which daughter (s) are kidnapped. Gina’s gone – Who did it? Why?.

16. Otis, Joe, Tony try to create a plan to rescue Gina.

17. Page 45 – In his scooter wheelchair, Tony tries to take over the investigation of Gina’s abduction/arguing continues with Joe with Otis and Juan.

18. Giovana is stopped by police – is this a REAL policeman? Is she in danger now?

19. Threat: Angry Nick accuses Francesca of pilfering his desk and spying on him.

20. Pop Tony threatened and reprimands Giovana for her bad behavior.

21. Nick and Francesca make up and begin dating on the side.

22. V. Plan: Threat as Joe kills a burglar in his home with Angela and twins inside.

Titled: “Day 3 – The Confessions”

TURNING POINT 2 (Page 60): Daughter Gina cannot be found; no ransom etc. How can she be rescued? Where is she?

1. Martino sisters discuss Nick. They all conclude – they don’t like him.

2. Threats: Joe fights through Union picket lines at his casino entrances.

3. V. Plan: Union meeting goes awry. John B. leading it, and Joe argues.

4. John confesses selling Joe out for money.

5. Threat: Andre tortures Gina in Mexican captivity with drugs.

6. Joe’s whole family meets and decide to pull together for Gina, not argue.

7. Threat: Revenge as Maksim reveries, acknowledge his love for Margo, Joe’s wife.

8. MYSTERY: Joe confesses to daughters with friend, Dr. Green that each daughter had electronic tracking devises in their necks since age age 2-3 years. But they are weakening and need replacing. All the daughters are furious for not being told of this.

9. Threat: Union pickets instigated by young Russian mercenaries.

10. Nick’s shocked with Francesca beats one up to save Nick from attach.

11. She confesses all her defense training under Joe’s mentoring.

10. Angela and Giovana argue about behavior and firing Billie-Bob.

Title: “Day 4 – The Hunt”

(Page 80) CLIMAX: Will the covert, all-out effort to rescue his daughter work?

1. Joe and Otis stay up all night thinking/worrying/planning.

2. Threats: Chaos continues at the casino; card sharks, fountains bubble/overflow.

3. Mystery: Joe asks “Why am I seeing so many damn Russians? I hate Russians.”

4. Flashback: Bonn, Germany with Margo and his friend, Maksim. Joe remembered when Maksim wanted Joe’s help to leave the KGB.

5. Mystery: Joe is putting the Russian/Gina pieces together.

Intrigue: Secret love affair between Margo and Maksim began in Germany.

6. Threat: Gina’s chip is fading. Intrigue: Speed is vital. Methodical hunt finds Gina’s still working chip in Santiago, Mexico.

7. Intrigue: The hunters assemble their hunting weapons at Tony’s home.

8. Mystery: Joe sleeps in Gina’s office and find the “note with $2500.” For John B.

9. Joe disagrees with the methods/ideas of local police, so he’s taking matters into his own hands with his own “hunters” without police knowledge.

10. FLASHBACK TO 1982 – Margo’s death at the Sands Hotel.

11. Mystery Secret/Maksim’s love affair with Margo is now known to Joe.

12. Otis finds Joe wallowing in alcohol (he doesn’t drink since Margo’s death).

13. Intrigue: Can Otis save Joe from himself and help Joe save Gina?

14. In Mexico, Gina attacks her captor.

15. John B. begs for forgiveness, defends his betrayal, and wants to help. Joe throws him out.

16. Threats: Bad television, on-air publicity for Joe’s casino about mayhem.

17. Threats: Casino lawsuits being filed for accidents, injuries and mayhem.

18. Threats: Maksim orders Gina dropped, without shoes in the Sonoran Desert. “Let the rattlers have her.”

(Page 90) TITLE: “DAY 5 – THE FINAL REVENGE”

1. Security office discussion – no ransom wanted; known it’s only Maksim’s revenge.

2. Maksim discussed as Joe’s ultimate enemy behind everything.

3. Intrigue: Otis lays out his plan for rescue. Joe, Tony, Otis and friends plan.

4. Angela fires Russian nanny, Elba, and buys a guard dog/puppy.

5. Intrigue: Joe calls in his Special Forces contacts, asks General Sawyer for his help.

6. Joe, Otis and Tony prepare the Helicopter for Mexico’s mission.

7. The sisters talk of Gina’s rescue, money needed for the anniversary party.

8. Intrigue: Airport – Joe & team take off for Mexico, know where Gina is being held.

9. Intrigue: The covert rescue begins. Tony tries to sneak on board and go along to Mexico. Otis throws him off.

10. Sadly Francesca confronts Nicky about his betrayal and Maksim’s kidnaping.

11. Intrigue: As planned, Gina’s abductors are sexually misled and tricked.

12. Jimbo, the helicopter pilot guides the trip with expert CIA and special training.

13. Threat: Gina’s chip died while the hunters flew over the desert. Now what?

14. Intrigue: Andre attempts to rape an unconscious Gina. Will he succeed?

15. The abductors with Gina escape in a black van – dropping her in the desert to die.

16. Intrigue: The Helicopter lands and a fight ensues with snipers and abductors.

17. Joe’s age and secret health issues – Can he keep up with the active “shooters.”

18. Will the hunters succeed and rescue Gina? Who will die in the fight?

19. Gina’s rescue is completed. How is Gina doing?

Resolution – Title: “Weeks Later – Secrets kept; Secrets ended, New secrets.”

1. Union settled and casino functioning as patrons return support.

2. 50^th Anniversary Party planned by the daughter/management team.

3. Thanksgiving gathering – Family at Tony’s home

4. Intrigue: The Daughters all share their new life’s goals.

5. The once fireball Gina hides that she has severe PTSD.

6. Joe’s let go of his past and perfect Margo and is dating Rita.

7. Tony walks again – did that didn’t really need it so, goodbye wheelchair.

8. Intrigue: Francesca’s pregnant. As a devout Catholic, would she abort Nicky’s child if she knew Nick was her only brother by Margo’s indiscretion with Maksim. Is Nicky history?

9. Intrigue: Will Joe acknowledge this secret possibility of fathering Nick in Germany?

10. V. Plan: Revenge – threaten Margo with the truth revealed. Maksim takes the son that Joe and he always wanted. Joe had no idea that the baby wasn’t a miscarriage, but born.

Title: “Is Today the End or the Beginning?

1. Intrigue: Maksim and Nicky dine with Victor – plan their next attack. Why?

2. Does Nick know Francesca’s pregnant by him, and she’s his sister?

3. Intrigue: Will Nick ever find out Joe is his real, biological father or is Maksim?

4. Intrigue: Maksim and Viktor threaten Nicky – our way or incarceration. Why?

5. Intrigue: Joe sets up a final body-guard protected meeting with Maksim.

6. Maksim thinks Joe’s now out for the final revenge. Will they argue/fight to the end?

7. Ending Intrigue: Does Joe kill Maksim? Or does Maksim kill Joe? Is this the end, exposure and finish, of a 30 year-plus secret, revenge feud?

8. Ending Intrigue: Will Joe not press charges for conspiracy/fraud on possibly – his son? Or will Joe take Nick away from Maksim by exposing the lie, then embrace Nick into the family casino business permanently?

8. Ending Intrigue: Tony chides Joe, wants to know if Joe shot Maksim – is he dead? Joe won’t directly tell this secret answer. Tony wants to know if Joe had the “balls” yet?

******************

[J.R Riddle]

Again, I learned planning patience and thoughtfulness, logic and reasoning out how to plan the various sequences, surprises and pay offs, so they make my thriller exciting and well-written to the final unexpected scene.

Life-Threatening Sequence.

What is the Villain’s plan and how does that put the Hero in danger?

The villain, Maksim plans on destroying Joe’s life, his family and his business. Every time Maksim executes something devious, someone gets hurt or is dead. Joe, being an ex-CIA, ex-combat marine will do anything, give his life to protect his family or someone that he knows.

What other potential dangers could your Hero experience as they try to solve the mystery and confront the Villain?

Joe could get in the way of the plan, even by accident and be a part of the negative outcome – being hurt physically, emotionally. Joe could be forced to do something to save or help that is against his spiritual or religious belief – selling his soul with regrets later.

From the list of potential dangers, choose the ones that work for this story.

Include:

1. Illegal drugs arrive by plane to be spread among Joe’s business & family.

2. Two strange, foreign men stalk the four sisters.

3. The same men set fire/explosion to back casino entrance causing the death and injury of employees.

4. Russian Nanny Elba lives in Joe’s home with Angela and watches his grand twins, as well as Joe’s habits, his family’s coming and goings.

5. Pop Tony’s friends with Mafia men to Joe’s dismay.

6. Joe’s irritated with John B. one of his best friends due to Union contract talks.

7. Stranger well-dressed Viktor, visits Angela’s party to get a pace on the night’s action.

8. Cop slashes their limo driver’s throat, and kidnaps one or more of the Martino daughters.

9. Maksim’s son works in Joe’s Casino, watching and making casino destruction plans with his father.

10. Back to the day’s beginning before the birthday party and kidnapping.

11. Maksim’s flashbacks to when he first met Joe.

12. Maksim and Nikolai decide where to stash the daughter and how much torture to inflict upon her or death?

13. Fruit basket arrives – who is it from? Unknown?

14. Billie-Bob is luring naïve, spoiled Giovana into excess sex, drugs, alcohol and rock & roll nights.

15. Union is picketing Joe’s casino, creating bad press.

16. Flashback shows Margo and Joe’s misfunctioning marriage.

17. Joe speaks with his security head, Otis Rosewell, with concern about the safety of Angela’s birthday party that night. Will the party be safe and successful with all the Hollywood players, Local celebs and politicians present?

18. Francesca states Nick’s been advising Angela on failing marketing strategies. Who hired Nick? What do we know about Nick?

19. Maksim meets with Nikolai/Nick and Viktor to further plan their revenge. Viktor, an MD admits to Russian surgery murders as ordered.

20. Strange young male entices Giovana into addictive behaviors.

21. Nick reinforces his familiarity with Francesca & okays Billie-Bob who works for him – rather than the casino alone.

22. Maksim, Nikolai and Viktor plan which daughter to kidnap effectively.

23. Nikolai lures in Francesca – will she be abducted?

24. Angela’s birthday party continues, as Tony infuriates Joe all night.

25. Hired Billie-Bob seduces, overly drugs Giovana – will she be abducted?

26. Viktor has abducted one of the daughters – which one? Joe can’t locate them.

27. Joe’s over-the-top stressed. His old friend, Dominic, the driver’s dead and which daughter was kidnapped. He doesn’t know and can’t locate them.

28. Flashback shows how Joe caused Maksim growing hatred – to be a cripple and left for dead years before. Maksim has a bad heart and no left leg/a prosthesis.

29. Joe puts a silence lid on all the mayhem with security boss, Otis.

30. To throw another wrench, surveillance witnesses arranged money laundering – how much loss and how long has this been going on?

31. Joe approaches his other enemy, Pop Tony, as his home. Tony refuses to help him, at first. Tony has a bad heart and can’t walk.

32. Giovana is stopped by a cop for bad driving.

33. Francesca has an accident, while being with Nicky, and cannot be located.

34. Union meeting, with John heading it up, goes awry.

35. These setups are to the 1^st Act break and moving only up to page 40.

36. The rest of the screenplay focuses on finding the abducted daughter and rescuing her. All the while, putting out legal fires, real fires and problems with family members and the casino’s expenditures/earnings. Maksim states, “I have more money than God.” With unlimited funds, he has been planning his revenge for a long while. Maksim states, “Kill him? No, I want him to suffer for a long time. Then I’ll kill him – in front of his family.”

37. Maksim had a love affair with Joe’s perfect wife, Margo, unknown while Joe was deployed, and Maksim desperately loved her, his hate holds Joe responsible for her death.

38. Tony also holds Joe responsible for his daughter, Margo’s death – is he a player in Joe’s destruction? Did he put John B. up to selling out? Is he tied to Maksim’s men?

39. Joe’s Margo had an abortion, not the believed miscarriage – where, who helped her get it?

40. The truth in Margo’s death – how did she die? Who’s at fault?

41. Harvard-grad attorney, Nikolai is really falling in love with Francesca. Will he, programmed since his teens with hatred of Joe, continue his father’s planned wrath? Could he hurt Francesca and her hating him forever?

42. Will John B. be discovered as selling out to Maksim? Ditto on all the various hired-gun employees, including Nicky. Who gets fired, when?

43. Will the daughter be rescued in time before she dies or becomes a drug addicted shell of herself? What country is she being held?

44. Will Maksim kill Joe or visa/versa. Will Joe’s casino live on, managed successfully by his “Four of a Kind?”

[J.R Riddle]

What is the big secret that the Villain is covering up? <div>

Maksim had an affair with Joe’s wife, Margo, that produced a son, Nikolai.

How many ways can they cover that secret? Those become the mysteries.

a. Have Joe hire Nikolai, his/Maksim’s son, as her assistant, Attorney.

b. Joe does not know Maksim is not dead and behind the casino issues.</div><div>

c. Have Nikolai, a charming bad guy, negotiate with the Union.

d. Hide the fact that Nickolai AKA Nicky is Maksim’s son.

e. Nickolai doesn’t know that he’s Joe’s son not Maksim’s son.

f. Have Nikolai choose which daughter/sister to kidnap.

g. Maksim doesn’t reveal the real reason for his hatred for Joe/ but tells Nikolai Joe left him for dead.

h. Maksim doesn’t reveal to his son that he had an affair with Joe’s Margo.

i. Maksim does not reveal to his son that Joe’s not the bad guy, but he/Maksim is.

j. Nikolai has an affair/ but instead falls in love with one sister/daughters.

k. Daughter does not know Nikolai is her brother/incest beginning.

3. The first mystery must engage the Hero into solving it.

a. Joe does not know Maksim is not dead

<b style=”text-decoration: underline;”>4, Sequence the mysteries so that each one leads us to the next one. Include ONE Red Herring mystery if you can.</div><div>

1st RED HERRING MYSTERY: John Benedetti and the Union

1. Joe’s family is being threatened by the union with mailed letters.

2. Casino business is being threatened by the Union due to contract issues.

3. Create a fire that kills employees.</div><div>

4. Push drugs in the Casino & blame it on employees – arresting who?

5. Hire hackers to infiltrate the IT system-steal Whales info./marketing.

6. John admits he took money to work in favor of the unions/not his best friend, Joe, and not knowing that Maksim was behind it all.

2^nd MYSTEREY – Who then, if not the unions is really behind the chaos/destruction?

1. Old Mob enemies of Joe/Tony and his friends?

2. Drug Cartel who want to buy the casino at a low price?

3. Russian -foreign money underworld or laundering Mob who want to buy the casino at a low price?

4. Addict Giovanna to drugs & sex with the drug pushing band leader.

3^rd MYSTEREY – Who kidnaped Joe’s daughter?

1. Mexican Cartel Drug dealers?

2. Romanian cheaters?

3. Who hates Joe enough to destroy him/family/casino?

4. Will Joe reinvent his bad relationship with Tony, Margo’s father?

5. Will Joe’s daughter be rescued? Alive or dead?

4^th MYSTERY – Will Joe figure out that Maksim is alive/destroying him?

5^th MYSTERY – Will Nikolai discover his father’s secret about him?

6^th MYSTERY – Will Joe and his daughters discover that Nikolai is their son and brother via perfect mother Margo’s indiscretion with Maksim.</div>

7^th MYSTERY – Will Nikolai and Joe’s daughter cut their ties, or continue the incestuous relationship?

8^th MYSTERY – Will Joe kill Maksim or release him to authorities or Maksim escapes?

9th MYSTERY – WIll Nikolai forgive Maksim for using him in his revenge scheme and stay with Maksim or join his newly found real family/Joe and his sisters? He could inherit the Casino?

[J.R Riddle]

I thoroughly enjoyed figuring out the various levels of M.I.S. stacking in both assigned films. From watching Silence of the Lambs several times, I realized that this creepy film is a study in layered psychological disfunction – who is the most creepy sociopath, Lecter or Buffalo Bill? Why, how and when will they strike? Who is weaker – The victim in the well? Clarice? The FBI and police, who keep getting murdered? Who is stronger?

The big Mystery of who is the skinner, combined with will Lecter do more cannibalism and escape is riveting to the end – and we know that he will eventually, but how, because we learn Lecter is more than brilliant – he’s a force of unstoppable evil.

The Intrigue of watching the unexperienced heroine, Clarice, learn more as she goes along, studying Lecter and BBill, while improving her fighting and psychological skills. Will she catch the bad guy before more evil happens? Will she survive the fighting needed, emotional, mental and physical poured upon her from all the men?

The Suspense was non-stop. I found it interesting how the writer layered Clarice’s character to always be competing with men, all much larger than her in size, not smarts – the film showed her surrounded by men, questioning her capabilities. Her confidence grew. She was constantly challenged, except for Crawford, her supporter. Lecter continually taunted her, so would she survive his strong force. Strangely he grew to admire her, and was her weird fan at the end. Plus, in the end – leaving the door open to Lecter stalking his next dinner victim on the unknown island. Again, Lecter being unstoppable evil.

[J.R Riddle]

What I learned from Basic Instinct – Even though I had seen this movie several times before, this viewing was like I’d never seen it with this M.I.S. depth. The layers and layers of setups and payoffs were exciting to watch. Writing a great thriller is complicated but simple if knowing all the processes that make it work for the audience’s thrills.

I loved the several “red herrings” – Roxy and Hazel, then you always had Catherine and later, is it Catherine or Beth? Nick seemed confident in one scene and in the next he sells his soul and character for all his addictions from alcohol to sex satisfactions. Typical of addictions not controlled, so who was the hero, I asked? Who is the winner? Catherine? Nick? I figured that it’s the one who survives. All the M.I.S. kept you wondering. Also the sex scenes were pornographic. Nothing was left to the imagination in that department, except was Catherine going to ice pick him at the finish. Scary, complicated people all around with volatile personalities that killed off anyone who was in their way of getting to handsome, vulnerable and sexy Nick. Even at the end, will he survive in the future after making love to Catherine. Unnerving film to the end.

[J.R Riddle]

Day 3 Assignment<div>

What I learned doing this assignment is if I follow the plan/setting up and paying off the sequences of character development and layering the M.I.S. one step at a time, I will have a serious, exciting thriller.

Las Vegas Casino life: Hero – Joe Moran, Villain – Maxim Andropovitch, Red Herring – John Benedetti

Hero: Casino owner, Joe Moran

Mystery of character is that amiable Joe knows lots of people from various backgrounds including the Chicago mob, gov’t officials, shaky former friends, very rich neighbors etc.

Intrigue of character is Joe’s temper, persistence and love of family above all else, including his casino business, friends, his own high morality or church rules.

Suspense of character is that Joe is unpredictable, volatile, stubborn and determined so he never gives up, gives in and is not for sale.

Villain: Old war buddy and former enemy, Maxim Andropovitch

Mystery of character is that no one knows he is in Vegas along with his team of mercenaries.

Intrigue of character is that Joe thinks Maxim is dead, plus doesn’t know that his newly hired attorney is Maxim’s son, Nikolai working against him and knowing Joe’s every move.

Suspense of Character is that He’s covert/under the radar and can arrange kidnappings, havoc, destruction, making it appear that it’s someone local.

Red Herring: John Benedetti, Joe’s long-time friend, union leader.

Mystery of character is that Joe believes John is his friend, who will look out for him and his family’s casino business in a fair and honest way.

Intrigue of character is that John is whipped – his young, beautiful 2nd wife spends money like a drunken sailor, so John is always in need and short on cash.

Suspense of character is John going to sell out his friend, Joe? Will he calm the union troublemakers threatening Joe’s casino and family.

</div>

[J.R Riddle]

HOMEWORK: 4-28/22

What I learned from this assignment is to make a plan, think first, decide how to approach the script to include the main “thriller” M.I.S. components.

LOGLINE: Four gorgeous daughters and one controlling, widowed father own and manage a Las Vegas Casino, while the father’s old, arch enemy develops a complex plan to destroy the casino, the father’s life and family.

1. What are the conventions of your story?

Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: Head of Security or Pop Tony.

Dangerous Villain: Andropovitch Family and ties.

High stakes: “How can they stop the destruction of the family Casino business?”Life and death situations: “Kidnapping/possible murder of the Casino President/ murder of others in the way of the kidnapping and destruction.”

This story is thrilling because? “Constant turmoil – fires, murder, kidnapping, problems running the casino, hidden betrayal from friends and employees, love affairs with the enemy.”

2. Tell us the Big M.I.S. of your story?

Big Mystery: What is the main mystery of your story that will keep us wondering throughout the story? “Who is creating the chaos and are these problems accidental or is someone or something else creating the chaos?”

Big Intrigue: What is the covert, clandestine, underhanded plot that will live under the surface for most of the movie? “An unknown, revengeful enemy, the father’s enemy from his old, Army Afghan days plans to completely destroy him.”

Big Suspense: What is the main danger to your Hero that will continue to escalate throughout the script? “Which of the four daughters was kidnapped, how, where and by whom? Are the accidents related? Who or what is destroying his casino business and how to stop it, all while finding his daughter and protecting employees, and the other family members?”

[J.R Riddle]

Thriller Conventions: ” Fortress “

What I learned doing this assignment – Some movies at first appear to be thrillers, however after applying the conventions of a thriller story, some are more dramas than thrillers.

* Unwitting but resourceful hero: the son of Bill, who was naive and quickly became aware of the evil people involved, and he fought them to the end.

* Dangerous Villain: Frederick, a malevolent, revengeful and greedy former so-called “good guy,” who hunted down Bruce Willis character, Bill, without regard for anyone’s life that was in his way.

* High Stakes: Prevent Frederick from accessing and acquiring the 600M, plus stop the continuous slaughter of anyone in his way – dozens and dozens of people.

* Life and Death situations: Frederick and his hired assassins’ continuous slaughter of gov’t agents/protectors living and working inside the Forge Mt. Retreat for retired CIA agents, as well as Bill/Bruce and his son and girl friend protecting each other from death/murder.

* This movie is thrilling because: it has layers of mystery, intrigue and suspense that are presented in good fashion.

* Big Mystery: What is this highly protected compound and what/whom does the “Fortress” protect and why? What do the bad guys want to achieve through their invasion?

* Big Intrigue: Who has sold out to Frederick and what does he want from Bill/Bruce? Will Freddie succeed with his greedy, revenging game plan. Will Bill and his son repair their neglected relationship after finding out Bill’s REAL occupation – being a CIA hero for the U.S. and the world’s safety.

* Big Suspense: Will Bill, his son and close friends survive the attack against the Fortress.

* Added thoughts: I have a new respect for the profound complexity involved in writing a superb thriller movie. I will be better, more involved and more aware of the needed depth in writing my excellent thriller script.

Thank you, Hal and Cheryl, for the depth of your research and presenting these concepts.

[J.R Riddle]

Hi Everyone,

Happy to be involved with you all today. I’ve written 3 scripts and have started another 1/2 dozen that need a push for completion. I’m optimistic that this class may help that initiative. From Las Vegas, NV. I just returned last night from Hollywood and the TCM Classic Film Festival – enjoyed a great many suburb films, listened to the actors, directors and producers discuss what works and doesn’t work. Plus met some very interesting people, including TCM Hosts, Ben M. who had to pull info out of Warren Beatty, and Eddie M. who spoke about fascinating noir films. Excited now to begin fresh, implement some new techniques and ideas from this class.