Mario Garcia
Forum Replies Created
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I agree!
MJ
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Hi,
I’m grateful that my friend gifted me this course. Looking forward to learning new techniques to help improve my rewriting skills.MJ
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Jani’s Query Letter-Draft#1
GENRE: DRAMA/ROMANCE
TITLE: LIVE FOREVER
Joe sees his father’s ghost and wonders, is he next?
Joe arrives in New York City to set up his Serpentarium Show in Central Park. He meets Becky, an autistic woman, falls in love, until Jet shows up and lets all the poisonous snakes loose.
Becky and Joe make a quick getaway to upstate New York. Becky decides to join him as a vigilante until…
…Jet winds up killing Joe with the same garrote that was given to Joe by his grandfather. Becky becomes Jet’s next victim. Instead, she winds up killing Jet with the same garrote. Becky escapes to Central Park where she first met Joe.
While crossing the street, Becky gets hit by a van. Will Becky die, only to reincarnate to meet Joe again in another lifetime, so they can live forever?
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Jani’s Target Market
What I Learned:
I was glad to go over the learning process again, seeing how to find producers on IMDB for my script.
TITLE: LIVE FOREVER
GENRE: DRAMA
LOGLINE: A mildly, autistic woman teams up with a wannabe vigilante with a dark past, who teaches her to let go of her fears.
1. Five Similar Dramas:
a. I AM SAM
b. NELL
c. TEMPLE GRANDIN
d. RAINMAN
e. FOREST GUMP
2. Possible Actors and Producers for LIVE FOREVER:
a. Actors:
Jessica Biel-Becky
Justin Timberlake-Joe
Bill Pullman-Grandpa
Diego Luna-Jet
b. Producers:
I decided I wanted to work with eight producers from RAINMAN, two from NELL, seven from TEMPLE GRANDIN, nine from I AM SAM and twenty-six from THE GOOD DOCTOR.
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Jani’s Phone Pitch
1. My strategy:
Out of the four strategies, I believe I can lead with a great title. At first, I didn’t have a marketable title. When I changed it to LIVE FOREVER and pitched it to producers in MSC16, several producers told me they liked my title.
2. Ask Permission: When I pitched to producers whether it was via LinkedIn, email or by phone, I found that when I asked their permission first, they were a lot more receptive to hearing my pitch. I would say something like this, “Hi, I’m Jani Siwek and I was wondering if I can run my concept by you? I found a handful of producers who were receptive. For those who said, “Yes!” I told them my genre, which is a drama and my title, LIVE FOREVER.
3. a. My Budget Range is $1-$5 Million.
b. My main actors who I visualize playing the main roles are Jessica Biel as Becky and Justin Timberlake as Joe.
c. LIVE FOREVER is a made for t.v. film that contains three parts. The first part is sixty pages and it’s about when Becky and Joe first meet. I need to work on the second and third parts to complete the trilogy.
4. Why do you think this fits our company? I read that you’re looking for writers who enjoy writing for small budget, independent films. This is the main reason why I chose your production company.
5. How does my script end?
Becky goes back to New York City where she first met Joe. She needs to go back to the past before she could move forward with her life. After spending hours in Central Park, she finally leaves and as she crosses the street, she gets hit by a van and dies.
What I learned:
I learned that it’s vital to be flexible with producers. Especially if they’re going to spend millions of dollars to make your script into a film.
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Hi Cheryl,
Mario just paid for the On-Demand classes as a gift for me. For some reason, his name is now on this portal. It should be under my name Jani Siwek.
Thanks,
Jani
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Jani’s Credibility and Other Attractors
What I learned:
Even if f I don’t have a lot to say about my credibility, then, I will focus on the genres I specialize in.
1. Credibility:
My name is Jani Siwek and I specialize in drama, comedy and horror genres.
2. Genre and Title:
Genre: Drama
Title: LIVE FOREVER
3. One or Two Sentence Hook:
A woman with mild autism, teams up with a wannabe vigilante, with a dark past who teaches her to let go of her fears.
4. Budget:
My budget is one to five million dollars.
5. My Lead Actors:
Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel.
6. Summary of My Four Acts:
Act 1:
Becky and Joe meet in Central Park and fall in love. Joe’s nemesis, Jet, follows him to New York City and all hell breaks loose. Jet releases all of Joe’s poisonous snakes from his serpentarium show. A lot of people get bit, including Jet.
ACT 2:
Becky and Joe escape to upstate New York to Joe’s grandfather’s house.
ACT 3:
Joe introduces Becky to the people in his neighborhood so she can eventually join him as a vigilante.
ACT 4:
Jet kills Joe. Becky seeks revenge and kills Jet. Becky heads back to N.Y.C. to start a new life. While crossing the street, she gets hit by a van and dies.
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Jani’s Query Letter
What I Learned?
I learned you should always keep it simple when you deal with producers. I also learned if you don’t have any credibility in the industry, you can leave out your bio.
GENRE: DRAMA/ROMANCE
TITLE: LIVE FOREVER
Joe sees his father’s ghost and wonders, is he next?
Joe arrives in New York City to set up his Serpentarium Show in Central Park. He meets Becky, a mildly, autistic woman, falls in love, until Jet shows up and lets all the poisonous snakes loose.
Becky and Joe make a quick getaway to upstate New York. Becky decides to join him as a vigilante until…
… Jet winds up killing Joe with the same garrote that was given to Joe by his grandfather. Becky becomes Jet’s next victim. Instead, she winds up killing Jet with the same garrote. Becky escapes to Central Park where she first met Joe.
While crossing the street, Becky gets hit by a van. Will Becky die, only to reincarnate to meet Joe again in another lifetime, so they can live forever?
Sincerely,
Jani B. Siwek
(954)748-2042
Linked In: Jani B.
Email: jsiwek@bellsouth.net
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Jani’s Synopsis/Hooks
GENRE: Drama
TITLE: LIVE FOREVER
Joe sees his father’s ghost and wonders, will he be next?
Joe arrives in New York City to set up his Serpentarium Show in Central Park. He meets Becky, an autistic woman, falls in love, until Jet shows up and lets all the poisonous snakes loose.
Becky and Joe make a quick getaway to upstate New York. Becky decides to join him as a vigilante until…
…Chaos sets in and their world is turned upside down. Jet winds up killing Joe with the same garrote that was given to Joe by his grandfather. Becky becomes Jet’s next victim. Instead, she winds up killing Jet with the same garrote. Becky escapes to Central Park where she first met Joe.
While crossing the street, Becky gets hit by a van. Will Becky die, only to reincarnate to meet Joe again in another lifetime, so they can live forever?
What I Learned:
I learned that hooks are the key components in keeping a producer, manager and audience engaged.
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Jani’s Elevator Pitch/High Concept
What I Learned?
In assignment four, I learned that saying less, turns out to be even more powerful. Just like in assignment five, the elevator pitch is short, to the point and also powerful.
A. My Elevator Pitches:
1. What if you never have to fear death and can live forever?
2. Working on my television sequel for LIVE FOREVER.
B. My High Concept:
A woman with mild autism, teams up with a wannabe vigilante with a dark past, who teaches her to let go of her fears.
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Jani’s Ten Most Interesting Things
1. Unique: My hero, Becky, is mildly autistic and towards the end of LIVE FOREVER, she kills the antagonist, Jet, with a garrote.
2. Intrigue: In the opening scene, Joe sees his dead father’s ghost and wonders, will he be next?
3. Turning point #1: Jet shows up at Joe’s Serpentarium Show and let’s all of his poisonous snakes loose.
4. Turning Point #2: Becky decides to move in with Joe and join him as a vigilante.
5. Twist: At first, it looks like Jet’s going to kill Becky and instead she winds up killing him with a garrote instead.
6. Surprise: Three months after Joe dies, Becky goes back to New York City. While she’s in Central Park, Becky sees a baby that has the same beauty mark under his left eye, like Joe had.
7. Reveal: The baby turns out to be the reincarnation of Joe and it’s revealed in the sequel.
8. Emotional Dilemma: In the sequel, Jet reincarnates and turns out to be Joe’s girlfriend, Tej.
9. Intrigue: While Becky’s crossing the street in New York City, she gets hit by a van with a picture of a large, green snake on it and dies.
10. Surprise: Becky reincarnates and meets Joe in another lifetime and they fall in love again.
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Jani’s Producers/Managers
What do producers and managers want?
Time is money to producers and managers. They dislike when you take up too much of their time. So, keep it short and leave the book reports for the children and grandchildren. Producers and managers want you to be an asset. Meaning, show them that you work hard, your on the same wavelength as they are and then, they’ll be happy to work with you.
What I learned?
I learned it’s important to be confident, open minded and flexible creatively when dealing with producers and managers. I also learned that when they give you feedback, don’t take it personally. Just take a deep breath, feel empowered that you made it this far, smile and let it roll off your shoulders. Being a team player is vital in this industry.
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Jani’s Marketable Components
1. Logline: A woman with mild autism, teams up with a wannabe vigilante with a dark past, who teaches her to let go of her fears.
2. The two selling points that will hook a producer:
a. I feel that LIVE FOREVER is a great title. When I pitched it to producers in MSC 16, they really liked the title. That gave me hope that I was on the right track.
b. I believe it also offers a great role for bankable actors.
3. What I Brainstormed:
a. At first, I was stuck on the title, BECKY AND JOE. I realized that it wasn’t a marketable title so I had to do some heavy duty brainstorming to find something that’s unique and will also attract producers. I finally came up with LIVE FOREVER.
b. An actor would love to play, Becky. It’s a unique role that would probably get them some recognition since it deals with the daily challenges an autistic person faces.
4. What I Learned:
Audiences crave conflict. They love to connect with characters that have lots of flaws instead of watching characters who live “inside the box”, in their own boring world.
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Jani’s Ultimate Plan
1. GENRE: Drama
TITLE: LIVE FOREVER
CONCEPT: A woman with mild autism, teams up with a wannabe vigilante with a dark past who who teaches her to let go of her fears. They both reincarnate and keep meeting again in different lifetimes.
2. What makes my story interesting is that it’s a three part series for streaming t.v. that will engage audiences.
3. I would like to target managers first because they can help me with planning and organizing my goals which will ultimately, steer me in the right direction with producers, agents, etc.
4. In this assignment, I learned that the first thing I need to do is become more organized before I approach a manager.
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I, Jani Siwek, agree to the terms of the release form.
Thanks,
Jani Siwek
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Hi! My name is Jani Siwek. I’ve written three scripts. I’m still working on the rewrites after taking MSC16. My goal is to learn how to be more confident so when I pitch to producers and managers, I’ll have a more positive outcome.
I would have to say that being adopted is what makes me feel different than most people. I’m grateful that I found my mom’s side of the family. Currently, I’m looking for my dad’s side. They finally opened the records in New York City where I was born. I will now be able to see my original birth certificate.
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My name is Jani Siwek. I’ve written three scripts. My goal is to get paid for writing assignments. I’m adopted and I feel that’s a pretty unique experience to go through in life.
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I agree!
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Thank you so much!