[Julie Dod]

Subject: Julie Dod’s Precise Description

What I learned doing this assignment is that I really need to do more research on what the description should be. From my Final Draft software, it’s suppose to be action. Is all the action my responsibility or the director’s? In the assignment, Hal mentions too much description about how the actor is feeling – so are we not to describe how the actor’s are feeling? Or just more succinctly describe it?

I did go through and tightened up every description, which in turn had me cutting two scenes, and therefore cutting four pages from the script, so all in all I think what I did was good, but I am not sure it’s all that needs to be done.

Thank you!

Julie

[Julie Dod]

Subject: Julie Dod’s Key Scenes that Sell You

What I learned doing this assignment is that once you have a good structure, it is easier to go back to those structure points and focus on just those scenes. If you don’t have structure, you would be flailing from scene to wordsmithing, when you should be thinking about action, purpose and meaning, and showing not telling.

For this assignment I focused on my introduction scene, Act 4 turning point, and the Resolution. I added more character reactions in the introduction to better set up their future reactions, therefore giving the scene deeper meaning juxtaposed with the spectacle of the lively pub crowd singing and clapping along with the bar dance.

I added more character reaction to the 4^th act turning point, with a poignant exchange that set my character off again in an unknown direction, which I feel made a much deeper impact on their last scene together.

The resolution still needs work, but I’m “working” on it. The protagonist and antagonist move closer, than farther away from each other, then finally end up in an embrace. Their diaglogue was meaningful and deeply impacted each other.

The biggest “reveal” was in the Act 4 turning point, when my protagonist admits she loved the antagonist, and all he can say is “I know,” which of course is another gut punch for her. There’s still work to be done, but this was a great exercise, and one which I will visit again and again until I feel I have it right.

Thank you!

Julie

[Julie Dod]

Subject: Julie Dod’s Intro / Exit Characters Powerfully

What I learned doing this assignment is that once I had core structure of the script written with the changes made along the way, going back to their intros and exits was easier than I thought it would be because this time I knew the characters better.

My red lettering showing the changes doesn’t copy and paste here, so I used a different format to show improvements.

Main Character – Protagonist – Molly – Intro Beats

· Giving food to homeless woman

· Helps drunk woman from bar to bathroom –

·       When Dan comes looking for her in the restroom and takes over taking care of Maria so Molly can join “the Show,” Molly says, “God I love you” before leaving the restroom

· The crowd cheers when Molly runs up to the bar and two regulars help her up. Molly starts “The Show” with the other servers, the crowd going crazy now that she has joined

· Catches Antagonist’s eye; Molly shakes off the eye contact she made with Jake, but she somehow keeps finding his eyes

· Chandelier falls

Main Character – Dan – Antagonist – Intro Beats

· Enters Ladies Restroom – polite and says hi to all the ladies– looking for Molly

· Goes into bathroom stall, tells Molly they’re all waiting for her

· Stays with Maria, holds her hair, rubs her back – and tells Molly he’ll take care of Maria

· Dan kisses Molly before she leaves the stall – tells her he loves her – go get ‘em, Babe.

· Molly says she loves him too as she runs out of the stall

· He and Maria walk out to Bar to see the Show – watching Molly admiringly

· Dan watching Molly like he’s the luckiest bastard in town that she’s with him and no one else

·       Notices Jake watching Molly
·       Notices Molly catching and holding Jake’s eyes
·       Countenance quickly deflating

· Chandelier falls

Main Character – Jake – Antagonist – Intro Beats

· Enters the bar among the excitement of the show having started, looking around intrigued and excited by it, the women notice him immediately and cant’ take their eyes off him

· Sees Molly

· Asks about her to his friend, Brian

·       When Brian points to Dan, Brian sizes up Dan like he’s sizing up the new kid in school whom he decides poses no threat

· He keeps his eyes on Molly

· Jake starts moving closer to the bar, not caring he’s practically standing next to Dan

· He and Molly lock looks

· He has followed her every move, standing confidently with that James Dean aura, that Molly can’t help but looking back at him

· He and Molly lock eyes again

· Chandelier falls

Main Character – Protagonist – Molly and Dan – Ending Beats

· She and Dan walking toward Seany’s

· Surprised when she sees the transformation Seany’s has made

· Happily surprised Dan has quit being a lawyer to lead chef and manage the new Seany’s

· She says she likes the new Dan

· When Dan tells her “God I hope I’ve changed,” and tells her he misses her and wants her back, she moves closer to him.

· When Dan tells her she deserved better – that he knows he was an asshole – and will never be that guy again, she says, “I believe you, Dan – we both lost our way.”

·       When Dan says he misses her and wants her to come home, she gives him a loving look in his eyes, as they are now standing kissing distance from each other, and says, “if you’ll promise me just one thing.”  Dan says, “anything, Molly, I’ll never give up on us again.”  Molly says, “promise me I’ll never have to eat your langostinkos.”
·       They both laugh, and hug.

· They walk out of Seany’s with Dan’s arm around Molly, music is playing, Seany watching with tears in eyes and a big Irish smile, and the two of them stop underneath the chandelier for kiss that will last a lifetime.

Main Character – Jake – Antagonist – Exit Beats

· Molly comes to Jake’s door, pounds on it, soaking wet.

· The girl that’s in his apartment looks through the peephole, announcing it’s a woman

·       Jake looks through the hole and sees it’s Molly – throws his head down with gloom, and the girls answers the door.

· When Jake says Molly’s name, the girl is upset, and tells her to come in, as she leaves the room.

· Jake asks Molly if she’s okay. Molly slowly looks around the room, and lands her eyes back on Jake.

· Jake tries to explain – Molly, I’m not rea-

· Molly holds up her hand and stops him and looks at his shoes.

·       Jake says, “Molly, please – I “ she stops him again.
·       Molly says, struggling, “I actually loved you.”
·       Jake looks at her hard in the eyes and with an honesty he never knew he had says, “I know.”

· Before walking out of the apartment Molly says, “those are some shoes you have Jake.”

[Julie Dod]

Subject: Julie Dod’s Unique Character Dialogue

What I learned doing this assignment is ?”

I learned that the character profiles are so important – especially the traits, as it 100% informs the dialogue. I went through the script and tightened up dialogue to more reflect the three main characters’ personalities and traits. My characters are pretty easy – one is a know it all downer who’s pissed off, the other is a people pleaser, charismatic, and the main protagonist is just nice who finally is fed up being unhappy and “nice.” So, for the most part the script dialogue followed these characteristics, but I did make a lot of small tweaks, none of which I made note of, unfortunately, but I will continue to review and re-review the dialogue with the traits in mind!

Great lesson!

Best,

[Julie Dod]

Subject: Julie Dod’s Meaningful Action

What I learned from doing this assignment is that in a dramatic romance film it’s hard to thrown in “meaningful” action – “meaningless” action is easy, which I have a lot of.

Looking through my script, I made one meaningful scene change – but am thinking through changing others.

Scene 50: Dan and Molly lying in bed talking about the fight she had earlier with her best friend and why Molly hadn’t talked about her best friend’s new boyfriend.

Changed Scene 50 to: Molly coming into her and Dan’s bedroom late, not waking up Dan and Dan not waking up when she got to bed, and Molly staring at the ceiling.

The scene is meant to show her jealousy of her friend’s happiness, and Molly’s despair, which I think the rewrite more shows, which followed the fight with the best friend telling her not to see her old lover, and the daughter telling her husband that she had the fight with her best friend.

[Julie Dod]

Lesson 13 – Elevating Scene Structure

Subject: Julie Dod’s Elevated Scene Structures

“What I learned from doing this assignment is…?”

I really appreciated this assignment, as I notice these scene structures in sitcoms, series, and films – to make scenes more interesting. Like someone taking off a heavy make-up face while telling backstory, or showing war wounds while telling their stories, in a chase scene having a couple’s fight, etc.

I identified several scenes I rated as 5s and re-read them with the intent to restructure them, but I ended up temporarily cutting one of the scenes and not changing the others. I guess because I was cognizant of action as I wrote the scenes, and that every scene needs to have a beginning, middle, and end, and at this time I can’t think of a better way to change them, but I’ll keep thinking on it, as the more intriguing I can make the scenes of course the better – so I will keep after it!!

What I learned is that I’ll always rate my scenes going forward with my screenwriting, and (2) I’ll be thinking about the 11 different scene structures to keep the action moving and the audience interested.

This was excellent information!

Thank you,

Julie

[Julie Dod]

Subject Line: Julie Dod’s Scene Ratings

What I learned doing this assignment is what I have had trouble with through all my drafts – my beginning and ending are not strong enough – I’m not getting the script to where it needs to be. These scenes had more E5s that I would like. Also, one of my secondary characters – Venus – I only have one strong scene with her, and she is the person who my protagonist sees throughout the film who symbolizes who she wants to be; i.e., happy with herself and her life. E5 is mediocre, and E8,9 meant I was hitting the entertainment value I was aiming for. I only rated one scene an E10, and none lower than an E5, although I was probably being too generous with myself. Good assignment!

[Julie Dod]

Subject line: Julie Dod – Outline to Script!

What I learned from this assignment is?

I learned that the people who made suggestions about my outline were right! I did need a big closure scene between my protagonist and my antagonist – the lover. I love the scene that I have drafted. Because of that added scene, I needed to change some tiny dialogue pieces in two other scenes.

I also added a bigger fight scene between my antagonist and the antagonist – her husband, which I think added a lot more depth to their fight.

[Julie Dod]

Julie Dod’s Fascinating Scene Outlines

I numbered my outline and also added the structure points. I have 99 scenes. I made some changes to my script in the opening scene, but it’s still not quite right – still thinking on it. I know the outline isn’t perfect.

What I learned from this lesson is that the interest techniques are an amazing guide to writing great scenes. I don’t think I’ve written amazing scenes, but there is action, intrigue or a dilemma in most of them. I’ve been writing this script for a very long time, and I have undergone at least 4 major rewrites. I’m anxious to have someone look at my outline and tell me what they think is missing.

Thank you!

[Julie Dod]

Julie Dod Solves Major Problems!

4. Give us a list of the changes you made to your script. But don’t post the outline, yet.

I began making changes to my opening scene because I know it needs to be stronger. Not sure I’m done making changes, but I made a few. Still thinking about it.

I also have a big fight scene that I think needs elevated – thinking on that one as well.

I believe my Climax is in the right place – about 7 pages from the beginning of the resolution, and I think the scene is right, but not sure if the pages between it and the Resolution are good.

Ending scene – It’s the right scene in the right setting (it ends where it starts), but it could be better I think.

5. Answer the question, “What I learned from doing this assignment is…?”

What I learned is that pivotal moments in a film are what make them memorable, and this exercise (which I read and listened to several times) has reinforced how I need to take risks and got for it – whilst (personally) staying away from cliches.

Thank you!

[Julie Dod]

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

I really liked labeling where in the outline the Acts and turning points, midpoints, inciting incident etc land within in the outline. It helped me see the structure in the story. The lesson also showed me where I needed to add a little more to the two supporting characters’ stories to help the audience understand them. I think I can cull other scenes to allow for these two extra scenes. It was a good exercise.

What improvements did you make to your outline?

I added two more possible scenes to the outline for my two other main characters – to more show their stories and show why they are who they are and act as they do.

[Julie Dod]

What I learned from this assignment:

I learned that main characters need a story and an emotional arc in order for the audience to care about them.

Molly

Beginning: Molly is a loving
mother but disappointed and unsatisfied with the relationship she and her
husband have and is insecure around other moms in her kids’ school, feeling
inadequate, afraid to do something wrong.

Turning Point: She runs into a former lover and pursues
him. He makes her feel like she’s
okay and doing a good job as a mother.

Midpoint: She and the former
lover become involved and she leaves her husband because of the guilt she
feels and secretly believing she and the former lover, Jake, are meant to
be together.

Turning Point 2: Once she has left her husband, the
former lover leaves her without warning, as he did several years prior,
which caused her to then break up with her now husband.
Major Conflict: Alone, she has to decide what she is
going to do with her life – stay sad and disappointed, or find the
meaningful life she desires.

Ending: She changes, finds a meaningful career, realizes she can be herself which is not perfect, gives her husband
another chance by spending time with him, confronts the other school moms
with confidence, realizing they didn’t expect anything from her, then
ultimately decides she wants to give her husband and her marriage more
effort, having put Jake behind her.

Dan

Beginning: Dan is an over-stressed
lawyer, who loves his family, but he puts all his energy into his career,
which is not as successful as he’d like it to be. He’s comfortable and happy around other
people, but when it comes to Molly and supporting her in her insecurities,
he is not there for her. We see
that cooking is a release for Dan.

Turning Point: Dan runs into Jake at Seany’s – where Molly
and Jake first met years before causing Molly to break up with.

Midpoint: Molly misses an important school
appointment, and Dan suspects she is seeing Jake and suggests to Molly
that they move to Idaho. They have
a fight, he confronts Molly about seeing Jake, and Molly tells him she
doesn’t like who she has become while being married to him.

Turning Point 2: to Seany
suggests Dan should help him expand the pub to include fine dining and an
outdoor patio, and be his head chef.
Major Conflict: When Molly is sick, he comes to cook for
her and tells her he wants her to come home, but Molly says she can’t go
back to what they were. He was
secretly hoping that with Jake out of the picture, she would come back to
him like she did in the past.

Ending: Seany and Jake revitalize the pub, Seany
gives Dan sage advice about trying hard for the things he loves, and Dan invites
Molly on outings they used to love, showing her he has changed, and then
finally takes Molly to the restaurant where he says he’ll never give up
on anything important to him again, especially when it comes to her.

Jake

Beginning: Jake has moved back
to Seattle after leaving it ten years prior, while dating Molly, and not
telling her he left.

Turning Point: Back in town for a new career opportunity,
he runs into her at the pub where they met, and they hit it off as if no
time has passed.

Midpoint: While happy to see her, he didn’t expect
anything from their encounter, he is intrigued/flattered when he she
pursues him, but then he realizes he does still have feelings for her.

Turning Point 2: Molly leaves
her husband, and Jake spends time with her and the kids.
Major Conflict: He does love Molly, but he also doesn’t
want to lose his chance at the career opportunity he came back for, and
doesn’t want to take on her, her kids, and his new career, so he does
what he did before and leaves her without warning or reason.

Ending: We see him on the streets in the morning
in a suit, talking on the phone, looking successful. He eyes Molly across the street and
stops and watches her walk into her new office, then gives a nod of
satisfaction and waits patiently for his walk sign to turn green.

[Julie Dod]

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

I learned that you really have to know your characters well in order to create a fulfilling story.

Molly

A. Name: Molly
Dane <div>

B. Role in the
Story: Protagonist

C. Core Traits: Thoughtful,
Compassionate, nice

D. Motivation:
Want/Need: To be loved and appreciated

E. Flaw/Wound: Worries
what others think; Scared to ask for what she wants as this has always
failed—scared of rejection.

F. Secret/Hidden
Agenda: She wants a better husband/marriage – feels Jake is her soul
mate
G. Internal Dilemma: Needs
acceptance yet wants to be free and confident to be herself, who is different.
H. What makes this character
perfect for their role in this story?
Molly doesn’t try hard enough to be who she wants to be and instead
rushes into a relationship with Jake thinking it’s just her relationships
that she needs to fix.

2. Answer the questions to improve the Character Profiles.

A: Are there any parts of
the profile that you could improve? Show more of how Molly is
scared to be who she wants to be and say what she wants <div>

B: Can this character
fulfill their role in the story more effectively? More dramatic
interactions; more hesitancy with Jake – show the push pull that she feels
when she’s with him.

Dan

A. Name: Danny Dane </div><div>

B. Role in the Story: Danny is the Protagonist’s
husband, from whom she has become disappointed and frustrated with.

C. Core Traits: friendly, knowledgeable in his field,
devoted, know-it-all; avoids emotional, meaningful connections.

D. Motivation: Want = life to be easy. Need = to be
successful.

E. Flaw/Wound: Flaw = Lazy. Wound = lost Molly before
to Jake.

F. Secret/Hidden Agenda: Secret = knows it was his
fault Molly is unhappy in their relationship. Hidden Agenda = doesn’t want
to do anything hard as his job is hard enough.

G. Internal Dilemma: While blaming Jake for his
and Molly’s problems, he knows if he tried harder or tried to change, he
might have a chance or might not.

H. What makes this character perfect for their role in
the story? Dan’s personal struggles with success and failure make
him emotionally unavailable for Molly, and this drives the struggle
between him and Molly, forcing Molly to make a decision.

2. Answer the questions to improve the Character Profiles.

A: Are there any parts of
the profile that you could improve? I could try and show why
Dan is reluctant to have an emotionally intimate relationship with Molly. </div><div>

B: Can this character
fulfill their role in the story more effectively? Dan goes on
his own journey of change, which I could show more of.

Jake

A. Name: Jake </div><div>

B. Role in the
Story: Molly is happy when
she’s with him, and this gives her the courage to leave her marriage, as
her intention wasn’t to be disloyal.

C. Core Traits: charismatic,
likeable

D. Motivation:
Want/Need: Wants to be successful; knows he’s messed up in the past
and wants a fresh start

E. Flaw/Wound: He
can’t be honest with people.

F. Secret/Hidden
Agenda: He never intended his relationship with Molly to be long term
or permanent.

G. Internal Dilemma:
He does love Molly.

H. What makes this character
perfect for their role in this story?
Molly is desperate for an intimate connection and avails herself to
Jake even though she knows the relationship could end as it did in the
past. When she’s proved right, she
trudges through the sludge of loss and comes out her true self again.

2. Answer the questions to improve the Character Profiles.

A: Are there any parts of
the profile that you could improve? I could weave in some
flashbacks of their story, or show Jake on his own more, where we see he’s
not serious about Molly. <div>

B: Can this character
fulfill their role in the story more effectively? I’ll have to
think more on this one.

</div></div></div>

[Julie Dod]

Julie Dod’s 4-Act Structure

What I learned doing this assignment:

That I have an actual structure – and that I need to make my turning points more pronounced.

Title: Come By This Way

Genre: Romance / Comedy

Concept: In 1995, a young wife and mother leaves
her husband when she is reunited with a former lover.

Main Conflict: After leaving her husband, the former
lover disconnects all his phones, her best friend leaves the country, and
she is left alone with her children to re-find her way.

Act 1:

Opening –

Molly as young and carefree
serving drinks at Seany’s, the star of the Friday night “Show” bar dancing
act to R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Jake walks in the pub, notices Molly, Molly notices
Jake, their eyes lock, the chandelier falls
Inciting Incident – Ten years
later, Molly back at the bar as a married, mother of two, celebrating a
birthday with her best friend, Maria, whom she met in the Opening Scene. We’ve previously seen her trying to
connect with her husband, Dan, whom we also met in the opening scene.

Turning Point – Jake walks back
in the bar – they immediately connect.

Act 2:

New plan – Pursues Jake –

Plan in action – tries to
juggle seeing Jake and her responsibilities as a volunteer at the kids’
school. During this time Dan runs
into Jake at the pub and knows he’s back in town.

Midpoint Turning Point – After
spending an afternoon with Jake she fails to make the school Olympics she’s suppose to volunteer at,
telling her husband she was at a spa day with Maria, but he suspects.

Act 3:

Rethink everything – Molly leaves
Dan after he confronts her about Jake.
Molly says she doesn’t like whom she has become while being married
to him.

New plan – living with Maria,
she and Jake see each other – goes to the zoo with the kids, and the kids
rebel by letting all the goats out of the goat petting zoo. Maria leaves for France. Dan dates an attorney in his office.

Turning Point: Huge failure /
Major shift –

Jake disappears from Molly’s life, by disconnecting
his phones – not telling her. Molly
sad, smoking and drinking alone at night, finally sees a homeless woman on
a dark rainy night. The next day
she brings her a coffee. She goes
to confession. She meets the intimidating
school moms with confidence.

Act 4:

Climax/Ultimate expression of
the conflict –

Molly is sick and Dan comes over to care for her. He wants her back, says she was right
about them. She said she can’t go
back to what they were. They begin
having family outings.
Resolution – Dan takes her to
the revitalized and expanded Seany’s.
She says maybe they could try way harder this time – Dan says he’ll
never again give up when it comes to her. The kiss under the chandelier.

[Julie Dod]

What I learned in this assignment: That I am writing a simple story about one woman’s emotional journey from failed dreams to fulfilling herself.

A. Genre: Drama and Comedy

B. Title: Come By This Way

C. High Concept: In 1995, Molly, a young wife and mother, leaves her husband when she is reunited with her former lover.

D. Main Conflict: Once Molly is free, the former lover disappears from her life by disconnecting all his phones.

E. Transformational Journey: Alone, reeling with guilt and shame, Molly is forced to learn who she is and where she is going.

F. Opposition: Having lost control of her life, Molly realizes she is her own opposition to becoming the person she is meant to be.

[Julie Dod]

Hello!

1. Julie

2. I’ve written one script (and rewritten it 1000 times haha)

3. I hope to get some confidence and writing strategies

4. Nothing too unique or special about me, but I am pretty good at reading a room, which is good and bad!

I hope you all get what you need from this class –

[Julie Dod]

Julie Dod

I agree to the terms of this release form

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

[Julie Dod]

Hi, Rhonda – here is my email: julie.r.dod@gmail.com! I’ll send you mine shortly!

Best,

Julie

[Julie Dod]

Hi, ZhiMin Hu – I’m happy to exchange outlines if you’re interested! I’ve written a drama with romance and comedy.

Thank you,

Julie

[Julie Dod]

Hi, Rhonda – I’m happy to exchange outlines. I’ve written a drama, with romance and comedy.

Thank you!,

Julie

[Julie Dod]

Hi, Tita – I’m happy to read your outline. I’ve written a drama – would you like to read mine?

Thanks,

Julie