Katherine Davis
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Day 8 Assignment: Pump Up Your Beat SheetLESSON 14 OF 25 Hal April 21, 2021ASSIGNMENT
Select at least three (3) scenes in your Beat Sheet that you’d like to improve.
Tell us the purpose of each scene you are improving.
Give us the “before and after” of the beats you improve.
Give us the updated Beat Sheet with the improvements you’ve made.
At the top of your work, answer the question “What I learned doing this assignment is…?”
Subject: (Katherine) Elevated Story Beats
13. (E5) INT – SILVER SPRINGS MAYOR’S OFFICE – DAY
Mary is pissed again. She downloads everything from the mayor’s computer. Especially everything related to the hospital development. She has no intention of training Sheila or coming to the office anymore.
There are three things going on in this beat.
1. Mary is pissed. Richard will have to pay in some way for treating her this way.
2. She copies everything from the system for research on who could have possibly killed the mayor. Other than the suspects she already has in mind.
3. She will not train anybody nor will she be coming back to the office. She trained him to take over as Mayor. She’s not training anybody else.
I see this as a transition for Mary. She has to not only finally forget about having a relationship with Richard, but to give up her job and livelihood. Because of him as well. Not that she was worried about her financial condition. She was always a saver, not a spender. She could maintain her living standards. But Mary was the type of person that needed something to do. A goal. Something to work towards.
What she is not is someone who waits to confront a person who has wronged her. She would not have waited to tell Richard off. She would have confronted him immediately.
18. (E6) INT – CHURCH – DAY
Mayor Bennett asks Mary and Eli to meet with him that evening at Liz’s House.
This is another transitional scene. However, it should include Mayor Bennett having conversations with the other female politicians. He tells them he would like to have a role in their organization, if he would be allowed. He firmly believes in what they are trying to accomplish and would like to pick up some part of the support that Liz was providing. He gives each of them his contact information and if in the near future they meet, he would like to sit in and learn about their goals and any future plans. He wants to see if he can fit in at some level.
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Day 7: Find Your Script’s Entertainment ValueASSIGNMENT
BEAT SHEET
High Scenes E7 thru E10 = 20
Low Scenes E5 thru E6 = 5
What I learned doing this assignment – The low rated scenes were for movement and information. I need to find away to include the information in an entertaining way or possibly even delete the scene.
- (E10) INT – MARY’S HOUSE — NIGHT Mary learns her boss has been found dead. Mary dispose of the drops she’s been giving the mayor in case the drug is found in the autopsy.
- (E10) INT – HOODOO WOMAN’S HOUSE — NIGHT Mary goes to the woman who gave her the drops. She finds out it was only caffeine. Mary insist on a refund and threatens the woman with bodily harm if she ever speaks of her visits.
- (E7) INT – MAYOR STONE’S OFFICE — NIGHT Mary goes to the office and retrieves the blackmail thumb drives.
- (E8) INT – MARY’S HOUSE — NIGHT Back home, Mary check’s off ‘kill Liz’ from her mental to-do list and sleeps soundly.
- (E10) INT – MAYOR STONE’S HOUSE — DAY The next day, Mary visits Mayor Stone’s house to recover any work Liz had at home and search for more blackmail evidence. The house has been burglarized. Mary calls Chief Walker. She comments about the heartless person who would vandalize the house after the mayor had a fatal heart attack. Chief Walker informs her, (not in a nice way) that the mayor was bludgeoned to death. He tells her to stay there until a policeman arrives and he hangs up on her.
- (E10) INT – MARY’S HOUSE — DAY Mary leaves immediately, headed for her own house. She’s been burglarized in the hours since she left home. The burglar must think she has the blackmail information. She calls Chief Walker again. He tells her he will get to her.
- (E10) INT – MARY’S HOUSE — DAY Chief Walker arrives. Mary is on the phone calling the city councilman. She insists he send her money immediately to pay for damages to both homes. He balks, she counters with putting his pervert activities on social media. He folds. She calls the plant manager and insists on the same and threatens the same if he doesn’t comply. He does. Chief Walker explains they have no evidence that either killed the mayor. Mary counters with their obvious guilt about their activities or they wouldn’t be sending the money.
- (E10) INT – POLICE HEADQUARTERS — NIGHT Mayor Bennett of Atlanta arrives at Chief Walker’s office to discuss the murder of Mayor Stone. Chief Walker has always known about Mayor Bennett’s visits to the city to see Liz. Chief Walker would cover Mayor Bennett’s back while he was visiting the city. This is the first time they met. They always communicated by text. Mayor Bennett asks Chief Walker to keep him informed of the investigation and offers whatever assistance he may need. Mayor Bennett says there is one other person who may have information. Chief Walker says, yes…the secretary.
- (E10) INT – POLICE HEADQUARTERS — NIGHT Mayor Bennett and Chief Walker meet with the media together which causes a media frenzy on TV and social media. Everyone wants to know the relationship between Mayor Bennett and Mayor Stone. Mayor Bennett ignores all questions regarding their relationship.
- (E5) INT – SILVER SPRINGS MAYOR’S OFFICE — DAY Richard, the City Manager, calls Mary. Tells her to set up an emergency meeting of the city council to elect a mayor pro tem until an election can be scheduled. Mary and Richard were lovers until he stopped coming to her house over 6 months ago.
- (E7) INT – SILVER SPRINGS MAYOR’S OFFICE — DAY Richard runs the meeting. He is nominated to be mayor protem. Percy, the pervert, nominates himself. Richard wins. He wants to set up another meeting of the city council as soon as possible to vote on the hospital development plans which Liz was blocking.
- (E10) INT – SILVER SPRINGS MAYOR’S OFFICE — DAY After the meeting, Richard tells Mary to prepare a press release regarding his new position and send all information to his secretary, Sheila. Mary asks why. He tells her Sheila will be his secretary. He knows Mary will train Sheila in her duties and not to worry. They will give her a nice severage package for her years of service. She’s been fired.
- (E5) INT – SILVER SPRINGS MAYOR’S OFFICE — DAY Mary is pissed again. She downloads everything from the mayor’s computer. Especially everything related to the hospital development. She has no intention of training Sheila or coming to the office anymore.
- (E10) INT – MARY’S HOUSE — DAY Mary is back home. Chief Walker comes over to question her about Mayor Stone’s recent activities. She tells him Richard fired her and the only thing the mayor was working on was the hospital development. She was getting pressure to bring it to a vote. Mayor Stone was planning on voting no on the project, which would anger a lot of people. They agree to trust each other. They agree on the top suspects: Percy, the city councilman, Plant Manager, Joe, the funeral director and Mayor Bennett. Eli does not believe Mayor Bennett should be on the list. He insists on Richard being on the list. They agree to meet later that evening.
- (E10) INT – FUNERAL HOME — DAY Mary goes to the funeral home to make arrangements for the Mayor Stone funeral. Joe is locked in his office. Crying over Liz’s death. Mary questions him about the last time he was with Liz. He says Liz was on the computer and finally says something like ‘I got you’. Meaning she had finally found out something about someone. It seemed important and she was excited. She never said who it was or what it was.
- (E10) INT – MARY’S HOUSE — NIGHT Chief Walker is in civilian clothes. They discussed Mary’s conversation with Joe. She thinks he should come off the list. Too weak to kill Liz. Mary and Eli are attracted to each other. He spends the night.
- (E10) INT – CHURCH — DAY It’s a short service. Citizens and one Female Politician spoke. Mayor Bennett did not speak at the service.
- (E6) INT – CHURCH — DAY Mayor Bennett asks Mary and Eli to meet with him that evening at Liz’s house.
- (E5) INT – MAYOR STONE’s HOUSE — NIGHT Mayor Bennett asks for an update on the investigation. Mary mentions she is concentrating on the people behind the hospital project. Liz was going to vote no on the project. It would have pissed off a lot of people. Percy the pervert was supposedly in traffic. The Plant Manager says he was at the plant. Richard had an alibi. Mayor Bennett says they both have a place in his administration when they are ready. But we must first take care of Liz’s killer.
- (E10) INT – MARY’S HOUSE — NIGHT Mary has connected the dots. She knows of at least 3 men behind Mayor Bennett and they control most development in Atlanta and surrounding areas. Powerful men. She figures out the password to Eli’s thumb drive. It’s the case file on the murder of Eli’s daughter. Mary goes thru the entire file. And inside the file she figures out who killed his daughter and why Liz needed to die as well. Liz had finally figured it out too. It was Percy, the pervert.
- (E10) INT – MAYOR STONE’s HOUSE — NIGHT Mary phones Percy to meet her at Liz’s house. When he arrives, Mary tells him what she knows. He killed Eli’s daughter. Liz finally figured it out and you killed her too. He starts talking about how much he loved Eli’s daughter. She wanted to leave him. She started screaming and he was just trying to keep her quiet. He didn’t mean to hurt her. Liz was going to tell Eli. He would have killed him. Mary says she is going to tell Eli. He comes after Mary. They fight all over the house. Mary knocks him out with a vase over the head. She has taped everything. She wants to kill him. But that would rob Eli of the pleasure. She calls Eli.
- (E10) INT – POLICE HEADQUARTERS — DAY Chief Walker holds a press conference. Percy, the city councilman, has been arrested for the mayor’s murder. And the murder of his daughter.
- (E10) INT – MARY’S HOUSE — NIGHT Mary invites the Plant Manager over. He is to turn over all the insurance money he received for his wife’s death. The children will be sent to one of his wife’s relatives to live. He will no longer be having sex with his underaged step-daughter. He’s to sell his house and forward the money to Mary. She will set up a trust fund for the kids. Which he will continue to put money into.
- (E10) INT – MAYOR’S OFFICE — DAY Mary walks in on Richard and Sheila. She proceeds to show them the video she secretly recorded of Richard and Sheila in bed. Along with another man. Sheila runs out of the office in tears. Mary tells Richard he finished in public office. Starting immediately.
- (E6) INT – MAYOR BENNETT — DAY Mayor Bennett announces his plans to start the AtlantaMissingChildren Alliance headed by Eli Walker. His secretary, Mary, stands behind him.
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Day 6 Assignment: Introduce Characters PowerfullyASSIGNMENT
Create new introductions for your two lead characters.
List the beats of your current character introductions for the lead characters.
Mary Colston, Protagonist
Select a different type of introduction from this list below for each character.
Types of Introductions
– Action shows primary traits.Write a scene that introduces at least one of those characters using the results from #2 and #3.
Answer the question “What I learned doing this assignment is…?”
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Subject: Katherine _ Character Story Beats
Take your top five characters through this Character Beats process by following these steps.
Mary Colston – Protagonist
Beginning, Middle, End
Beginning – Mary must find out who killed her boss.
Middle – Mary is blackmailing two of five suspects, Percy Montgomery and Plant Manager.
End – Mary figures out Percy is the killer and confronts him.
Beats of her story-
Mary learns she did not kill the mayor. Someone else did.
Mary takes possession of the Mayor’s blackmailing material.
After her home is burglarized, Mary blackmails two of the suspects.
Mary interviews Joe who is one of Mayor’s lovers and a third suspect.
Mary sleeps with Elijah Walker, Chief of Police.
Mary arranges the Mayor’s funeral.
Mary figures out Percy is the killer. They fight, Mary wins.
Mary turns Percy over to Eli.
Mary goes to work for Bennett
One part of their story that could be improved. Mary sleeps with the Chief of Police.
Mary should be more suspicious of Eli. He gathered all the blackmail information for the Mayor. He technically could be a suspect. Just like her previous lover, Richard. She should not trust him completely.
Possible change – Mary suspects Eli and Eli suspects Mary.
Tell us the improvement you are making to that character’s story.
<hr>
Percy Montgomery – Antagonist
Beginning, Middle, End
Beginning – Percy kills the mayor; he runs for Mayor pro tem. He’s defeated.
Middle – Percy attends the mayors’ funeral. He is seen by Mary talking to a mother and her underaged daughter. He’s warned by Mary to get away from the girl.
End – Gets call from Mary – she knows he killed the mayor and knows why..
Beats of her story-
Percy pressures the mayor to put the hospital development vote on the agenda. She refuses.
Percy waits for the mayor on the Silver Comet Trail and kills her.
Percy nominates himself for Mayor pro tem, loses to Richard.
At Mayor’s funeral repast, he is seen next to an underaged girl.
Mary calls him to meet at the mayor’s house.
Mary tells him she knows he killed the mayor to prevent his being arrested for killing the Chief’s daughter.
He fights with Mary – loses.
He’s arrested for both murders.
One part of their story that could be improved.
Possible change – Percy defeats Mary and escapes. Before leaving town, he wants to kill Mary so no one will find out about his killing the Chief’s daughter.
Tell us the improvement you are making to that character’s story.
<hr>
Mayor Lucas J. Bennett, III – Supporting Character
Beginning, Middle, End
Beginning – Lucas finds out Liz has been murdered. He tells Eli to keep him informed.
Middle – Lucas goes to the funeral, but does not speak at the funeral.
End – He’s informed the killer has been identified and jailed. He hires Mary and Eli to his staff.
Beats of his story-
Lucas learns from the radio that Liz has been murdered.
Lucas recalls his years-long relationship with Liz.
Lucas visits Eli to get details and offer support.
Lucas and Eli meet with the press
Lucas attends the funeral
Lucas meets with Eli and Mary to get an update and offer both positions in his administration.
Lucas announces to the press that Eli had joined his team in Atlanta.
One part of their story that could be improved.
Possible change –
Tell us the improvement you are making to that character’s story.
<hr>
Elizah ‘Eli’ Walker, Chief of Police – Supporting Character
Beginning, Middle, End
Beginning – Eli investigates the Mayor’s murder.
Middle – He teams with Mary to find the murderer.
End – He arrests Percy for the murder.
Beats of his story-
Eli gets a phone call from Mary. He does not have a conversation with her.
Eli get another call from Mary regarding the home burglaries
Eli questions Mary about the mayor’s activities before her death.
Eli visits Mary and they end up sleeping together.
Eli attends the Mayor’s funeral.
Eli meets with Mary and Lucas to get an update on progress.
Eli meets Mary at Liz house where she’s holding Percy.
Eli tells press Percy has been arrested for Liz’s murder.
Eli attends press conference where Lucas announces his position with his administration.
One part of their story that could be improved.
Possible change –
Tell us the improvement you are making to that character’s story.
<hr>
Mayor Elizabeth ‘Liz’ Stone – Supporting Character/Deceased
Beginning, Middle, End
Beginning – She’s been attacked and murdered.
Middle – Funeral.
End – Murderer identified and arrested.
Beats of her story- Liz only appears in the story when one of the other characters are remembering her.
One part of their story that could be improved.
Possible change –
Tell us the improvement you are making to that character’s story.
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Day 4_ASSIGNMENT _ Five Character Profiles
Subject: Katherine Davis Character Profiles
Logline
Mary must find her boss’s killer before anyone suspects she tried to kill her boss.
REQUIRED:
1. Character Name_ Mary Colston
Role – Protagonist_The Secretary
Determined – gets what she wants even if it means someone may get too sick to continue work. It’s possible the person may die.
Character Subtext Logline _ Mary is proficient at reading people which makes her the perfect secretary. She has no issues with what other people will do to get what they want… except when they hurt/damage children.
OPTIONAL:
Flaw
Want/Need
Mission/Agenda_ To find out who killed her boss.
Character Arc (if any)_She falls for Chief Walker. Someone she cannot control.
World View
Life Metaphor/Identity
Secret_She killed her stepfather. Blames her mother for bringing him into their home.
Something they don’t want to admit about themselves: She wants to be loved by a man as strong as she is.
What makes this character unique? Men who hurt children must be punished in a way that will hurt them, and she doesn’t mind being the one to do it.
Improve at least one item on each character profile. How it improved the
character and what it might do for your story.Change_ Something they don’t want to admit about themselves: If she understood that she just wanted a man as strong as she was, she would not have wasted all her time on Richard. She would not have put herself in a position as suspect because she never would have tried to get rid of Liz.
2. Character Name_ Mayor Elizabeth ‘Liz’ Stone
Role – The Victim/Deceased
Determined – She is an ambitious politician. She wants to run for State Representative.
Character Subtext Logline _ Liz has two sides. One, she is in charge of a city she is determined to get the best for its citizens. She is so hard in this endeavor, they call her The Stone. She will use her connection and history with the Atlanta Mayor to make that happen. She will blackmail criminals she cannot get convicted to make that happen. Her other side mentors other women in politics and girls who could have a career in politics or community service.
OPTIONAL:
Flaw
Want/Need_While she is a visible person in the community, she also yearns to be just a wife with a husband that loves her.
Mission/Agenda_ To find out who killed Chief Walker’s daughter.
Character Arc (if any)
World View
Life Metaphor/Identity
Secret
Something they don’t want to admit about themselves:
What makes this character unique?
Change Want/Need: If she admitted to wanting a career more than a husband and kids, she would not have gotten involved with Joe and pressured him into leaving his wife.
3. Character Name_ Mayor Lucas J. Bennett, III
Role – Suspect
Determined – Another ambitious politician. He wants to run for US Senator.
Character Subtext Logline _ Lucas is the perfect politician. Outrageously handsome, horrible upbringing by a crackhead mother, highly educated.
OPTIONAL:
Flaw
Want/Need_ To be free of the men behind his career success. One day they may ask something of him he cannot give.
Mission/Agenda_ To find out who killed Elizabeth.
Character Arc (if any)
World View
Life Metaphor/Identity
Secret_ Mayor Elizabeth Stone. Due to their history, she requires his financial support, sexual support and his support of her career.
Something they don’t want to admit about themselves: He cared more for Elizabeth than he could admit while she was alive.
What makes this character unique?
Improve at least one item on each character profile.
Secret_ Mayor Elizabeth Stone. He should have never made Liz a secret. Their relationship could have been open and he would not be in a compromising situation as he is now. If he had been open, their may have never been a sexual aspect to their relationship. There would have never been something to hide.
4. Character Name_ Elijah ‘Eli’ Walker
Role – Chief of Police
Determined – To find the mayor’s killer.
Character Subtext Logline _ Elijah is pissed. More at himself than the killer. He should have known someone would go after the mayor. If not the people she was blackmailing, it would have been one of the people she was about to put out of business when she voted no on the hospital project. He should have put an officer on her to guard her.
OPTIONAL:
Flaw
Want/Need_ He must find the killer. He never found the person who killed his daughter. He must find the person who killed Liz.
Mission/Agenda_ To find out who killed Elizabeth.
Character Arc (if any)
World View
Life Metaphor/Identity
Secret_ He collected the information for Liz to use as blackmail.
Something they don’t want to admit about themselves: He failed his daughter by not discovering who killed her. He should have been more of a disciplinarian.
What makes this character unique?
Improve at least one item on each character profile.
Secret_ He should have never collected blackmail information for Liz to use. He made himself a co-conspirator by doing so. And therefore, he made himself a crooked cop. True, he had no qualms about them getting some kind of punishment if the law could not get them, but what was he doing to himself?
5. Character Name_ Percy Montgomery, City Councilman
Role – Antagonist
Determined – Another ambitious politician. He wants to be mayor of the city.
Character Subtext Logline _ Percy is a pharmaceutical salesman who provides pills to young girls across the state so he can eventually have sex with them.
OPTIONAL:
Flaw
Want/Need_ To be seen as important by everyone.
Mission/Agenda_ To one day become mayor of the city.
Character Arc (if any)
World View
Life Metaphor/Identity
Secret_ Yes, he likes young girls who are not yet sullied by life through other boys or men. He likes to be their first so he can show them what a real man is like.
Something they don’t want to admit about themselves: That he is a pedophile. The girls love to do everything he loves to do to them. How could that be wrong?
What makes this character unique?
Improve at least one item on each character profile.
Want/Need_ If Percy did not want so desperately to be seen as an important man, he may have questioned other decisions/actions in his life which eventually led him to commit murder.
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BEAT SHEET
LOGLINE: Mary must find her boss’s killer before anyone suspects she tried to kill her boss.
INT – MARY’S HOUSE — NIGHT
Mary learns her boss has been found dead. Mary dispose of the drops she’s been giving the mayor in case the drug is found in the autopsy.
INT – HOODOO WOMAN’S HOUSE — NIGHT
Mary goes to the woman who gave her the drops. She finds out it was only caffeine. Mary insist on a refund and threatens the woman with bodily harm if she ever speaks of her visits.
INT – MAYOR STONE’S OFFICE — NIGHT
Mary goes to the office and retrieves the blackmail thumb drives.
INT – MARY’S HOUSE — NIGHT
Back home, Mary check’s off ‘kill Liz’ from her mental to-do list and sleeps soundly.
INT – MAYOR STONE’S HOUSE — DAY
The next day, Mary visits Mayor Stone’s house to recover any work Liz had at home and search for more blackmail evidence. The house has been burglarized. Mary calls Chief Walker. She comments about the heartless person who would vandalize the house after the mayor had a fatal heart attack. Chief Walker informs her, (not in a nice way) that the mayor was bludgeoned to death. He tells her to stay there until a policeman arrives and he hangs up on her.
INT – MARY’S HOUSE — DAY
Mary leaves immediately, headed for her own house. She’s been burglarized in the hours since she left home. The burglar must think she has the blackmail information. She calls Chief Walker again. He tells her he will get to her.
INT – MARY’S HOUSE — DAY
Chief Walker arrives. Mary is on the phone calling the city councilman. She insists he send her money immediately to pay for damages to both homes. He balks, she counters with putting his pervert activities on social media. He folds. She calls the plant manager and insists on the same and threatens the same if he doesn’t comply. He does. Chief Walker explains they have no evidence that either killed the mayor. Mary counters with their obvious guilt about their activities or they wouldn’t be sending the money.
INT – POLICE HEADQUARTERS — NIGHT
Mayor Bennett of Atlanta arrives at Chief Walker’s office to discuss the murder of Mayor Stone. Chief Walker has always known about Mayor Bennett’s visits to the city to see Liz. Chief Walker would cover Mayor Bennett’s back while he was visiting the city. This is the first time they met. They always communicated by text. Mayor Bennett asks Chief Walker to keep him informed of the investigation and offers whatever assistance he may need. Mayor Bennett says there is one other person who may have information. Chief Walker says, yes…the secretary.
INT – POLICE HEADQUARTERS — NIGHT
Mayor Bennett and Chief Walker meet with the media together which causes a media frenzy on TV and social media. Everyone wants to know the relationship between Mayor Bennett and Mayor Stone. Mayor Bennett ignores all questions regarding their relationship.
INT – SILVER SPRINGS MAYOR’S OFFICE — DAY
Richard, the City Manager, calls Mary. Tells her to set up an emergency meeting of the city council to elect a mayor pro tem until an election can be scheduled. Mary and Richard were lovers until he stopped coming to her house over 6 months ago.
INT – SILVER SPRINGS MAYOR’S OFFICE — DAY
Richard runs the meeting. He is nominated to be mayor pro tem. Percy, the pervert, nominates himself. Richard wins. He wants to set up another meeting of the city council as soon as possible to vote on the hospital development plans which Liz was blocking.
INT – SILVER SPRINGS MAYOR’S OFFICE — DAY
After the meeting, Richard tells Mary to prepare a press release regarding his new position and send all information to his secretary, Sheila. Mary asks why. He tells her Sheila will be his secretary. He knows Mary will train Sheila in her duties and not to worry. They will give her a nice severage package for her years of service. She’s been fired.
INT – SILVER SPRINGS MAYOR’S OFFICE — DAY
Mary is pissed again. She downloads everything from the mayor’s computer. Especially everything related to the hospital development. She has no intention of training Sheila or coming to the office anymore.
INT – MARY’S HOUSE — DAY
Mary is back home. Chief Walker comes over to question her about Mayor Stone’s recent activities. She tells him Richard fired her and the only thing the mayor was working on was the hospital development. She was getting pressure to bring it to a vote. Mayor Stone was planning on voting no on the project, which would anger a lot of people. They agree to trust each other. They agree on the top suspects: Percy, the city councilman, Plant Manager, Joe, the funeral director and Mayor Bennett. Eli does not believe Mayor Bennett should be on the list. He insists on Richard being on the list. They agree to meet later that evening.
INT – FUNERAL HOME — DAY
Mary goes to the funeral home to make arrangements for the Mayor Stone funeral. Joe is locked in his office. Crying over Liz’s death. Mary questions him about the last time he was with Liz. He says Liz was on the computer and finally says something like ‘I got you’. Meaning she had finally found out something about someone. It seemed important and she was excited. She never said who it was or what it was.
INT – MARY’S HOUSE — NIGHT
Chief Walker is in civilian clothes. They discussed Mary’s conversation with Joe. She thinks he should come off the list. Too weak to kill Liz. Mary and Eli are attracted to each other. He spends the night.
17. INT – CHURCH — DAY
It’s a short service. Citizens and one Female Politician spoke. Mayor Bennett did not speak atthe service.
18. INT – CHURCH — DAY
Mayor Bennett asks Mary and Eli to meet with him that evening at Liz’s house.
19. INT – MAYOR STONE’s HOUSE — NIGHT
Mayor Bennett asks for an update on the investigation. Mary mentions she is concentrating on the people behind the hospital project. Liz was going to vote no on the project. It would have pissed off a lot of people. Percy the pervert was supposedly in traffic. The Plant Manager says he was at the plant. Richard had an alibi. Mayor Bennett says they both have a place in his administration when they are ready. But we must first take care of Liz’s killer.
20. INT – MARY’S HOUSE — NIGHT
Mary has connected the dots. She knows of at least 3 men behind Mayor Bennett and they control most development in Atlanta and surrounding areas. Powerful men. She figures out the password to Eli’s thumb drive. It’s the case file on the murder of Eli’s daughter. Mary goes thru the entire file. And inside the file she figures out who killed his daughter and why Liz needed to die as well. Liz had finally figured it out too. It was Percy, the pervert.
21. INT – MAYOR STONE’s HOUSE — NIGHT
Mary phones Percy to meet her at Liz’s house. When he arrives, Mary tells him what she knows. He killed Eli’s daughter. Liz finally figured it out and you killed her too. He starts talking about how much he loved Eli’s daughter. She wanted to leave him. She started screaming and he was just trying to keep her quiet. He didn’t mean to hurt her. Liz was going to tell Eli. He would have killed him. Mary says she is going to tell Eli. He comes after Mary. They fight all over the house. Mary knocks him out with a vase over the head. She has taped everything. She wants to kill him. But that would rob Eli of the pleasure. She calls Eli.
22. INT – POLICE HEADQUARTERS — DAY
Chief Walker holds a press conference. Percy, the city councilman, has been arrested for the mayor’s murder. And the murder of his daughter.
21. INT – MARY’S HOUSE — NIGHT
Mary invites the Plant Manager over. He is to turn over all the insurance money he received for his wife’s death. The children will be sent to one of his wife’s relatives to live. He will no longer be having sex with his underaged step-daughter. He’s to sell his house and forward the money to Mary. She will set up a trust fund for the kids. Which he will continue to put money into.
22. INT – MAYOR’S OFFICE — DAY
Mary walks in on Richard and Sheila. She proceeds to show them the video she secretly recorded of Richard and Sheila in bed. Along with another man. Sheila runs out of the office in tears. Mary tells Richard he finished in public office. Starting immediately.
23. INT – MAYOR BENNETT — DAY
Mayor Bennett announces his plans to start the AtlantaMissingChildren Alliance headed by Eli Walker. His secretary, Mary, stands behind him.
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Logline: The Secretary
Mary must find her boss’s killer before anyone suspects she tried to kill her boss.
Main Conflict: 1st List
Opening – Mary learns her boss, Mayor Elizabeth Stone has been found dead. She disposes of the drops she’s been putting in the mayor’s coffee to poison her. Mary goes to her contact who provided the drops to make sure they keep quiet about her purchase. Mary retrieves the mayor’s blackmail evidence at the office before the Chief of Police can get it. Chief Eli Walker is a widower whose child was also murdered. He knows of the mayor’s blackmail schemes because he supplied most of the information used by the mayor.
Inciting Incident: The mayors’ house has been burglarized and ransacked. Probably looking for the blackmail evidence. Mary’s house has also been burglarized. Killer believes Mary knows what the blackmail evidence is and probably has it.
What the movie is about: With the Chief of Police present, Pissed- off Mary, phones the two most likely suspects – the city commissioner and the plant manager. She accuses each of them separately of the break-ins and the murder. She demands thousands of dollars for the clean up and will be in touch. Both comply.
First Turning Point at the end of Act 1 – Mayor Bennett of Atlanta creates a media frenzy by meeting with Chief Walker and offers his assistance.
Mid-Point: Richard, the City Manager and Mary’s boyfriend who decided he doesn’t want Mary, calls for an interim election – wins. Fires Mary. She downloads everything from the Mayor Liz’s computer and plans her revenge. Mary meets with suspect #3, Joe, the mayor’s married lover #2 and funeral home director. Mary plans the funeral. He tells Mary of his bedroom conversation with the Mayor two nights before her murder.
Second Turning Point at end of Act 2: Mayor’s Funeral. All suspects are present including Mayor Bennett. Many female politicians and young girls are present. They all speak of Mayor Stone as their mentor and how she supported them in their positions and their goals as women in politics. Mayor Bennett meets with Mary and Chief Walker later that evening. Offers both a position in his administration – after they find out who killed Liz. Mary concludes he didn’t kill Liz, but he’s not innocent. The group behind him was definitely involved with bribing city council members to vote yes on the hospital development.
Crisis – Mary has been fired, she has time to analyze the hospital project and all the suspects. She hopes it’s not Chief Eli since she’s now sleeping with him. The group behind Mayor Bennett is a powerful one and they may come after her. She’s confident she can manage them. During her research, she figures out who the killer is. And it has nothing to do with the hospital project.
Climax – Mary knows who the killer is. She invites him over to Liz’s house. She wants to kill him and he wants to kill her.
Resolution – Chief Walker arrests the city commissioner for killing the mayor. Mary gets her revenge on Richard. Meets with the Plant Manager and metes out justice for the children without him going to jail. Mary becomes Mayor Bennett’s secretary and Eli is assigned to Atlanta’s Missing Children’s Alliance.
Main Conflict: 2nd List
Opening – Mary learns her boss, Mayor Elizabeth Stone has been found dead. She disposes of the drops she’s been putting in the mayor’s coffee to poison her. Mary goes to her contact who provided the drops to make sure they keep quiet about her purchase. Mary retrieves the mayor’s blackmail evidence at the office before the Chief of Police can get it. Chief Eli Walker is a widower whose child was also murdered. He knows of the mayor’s blackmail schemes because he supplied most of the information used by the mayor.
Inciting Incident: The mayors’ house has been burglarized and ransacked. Probably looking for the blackmail evidence. Mary’s house has also been burglarized. Killer believes Mary knows what the blackmail evidence is and probably has it.
What the movie is about: With the Chief of Police present, Pissed- off Mary, phones the two most likely suspects – the city commissioner and the plant manager. She accuses each of them separately of the break-ins and the murder. She demands thousands of dollars for the clean up and will be in touch. Both comply.
First Turning Point at the end of Act 1 – Mayor Bennett of Atlanta creates a media frenzy by meeting with Chief Walker and offers his assistance.
Mid-Point: Richard, the City Manager and Mary’s boyfriend who decided he doesn’t want Mary, calls for an interim election – wins. Fires Mary. She downloads everything from the Mayor Liz’s computer and plans her revenge. Mary meets with suspect #3, Joe, the mayor’s married lover #2 and funeral home director. Mary plans the funeral. He tells Mary of his bedroom conversation with the Mayor two nights before her murder.
Second Turning Point at end of Act 2: Mayor’s Funeral. All suspects are present including Mayor Bennett. Many female politicians and young girls are present. They all speak of Mayor Stone as their mentor and how she supported them in their positions and their goals as women in politics. Mayor Bennett meets with Mary and Chief Walker later that evening. Offers both a position in his administration – after they find out who killed Liz. Mary concludes he didn’t kill Liz, but he’s not innocent. The group behind him was definitely involved with bribing city council members to vote yes on the hospital development.
Crisis – Mary has been fired, she has time to analyze the hospital project and all the suspects. Mayor Stone’s murder has everything to do with the hospital project. At least three of the city council members have been paid off and were ready to vote yes on the project. Mayor Stone was voting no. Being out-voted would not have stopped her. She could go to the citizens and sway public opinion.
Climax – Mary knows who the killer is. She invites him over to Liz’s house. She wants to kill him and he wants to kill her.
Resolution – Chief Walker killed Mayor Stone. He was also bought and paid for by the men behind Mayor Bennett.
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<div>Logline</div>
The Secretary
Mary must find her boss’s killer before anyone suspect she tried to kill her boss.
One Page
The Secretary
Mary Colston is secretary to the Mayor of Silver Springs, an affluent city in the Atlanta suburbs. Elizabeth Stone, the mayor, has been found dead on the Silver Comet Trail. Mary must dispose of any evidence she was trying to kill the mayor and divert suspicion to the four people the Mayor was blackmailing.
Mary retrieves the blackmailing evidence from the Mayor’s office before the Chief of Police can confiscate it. That evidence includes a thumb drive on the Chief of Police himself. The other suspects include a city commissioner who likes underage girls, the Plant Manager of the largest employer in the city, who likes his step daughter in a non-familial way and the owner of one of the largest funeral homes in the area. A married man the Mayor was having an affair with and pressuring to leave his wife.
The other person who had to be considered was also one of the most powerful men in the country. The Honorable Lucas J. Bennett, III, Mayor of Atlanta. Mayor Bennett was controlled by a select group of businessmen in Atlanta who in turn, controlled mostly every major project in the Atlanta area. They wanted a regional hospital built in Silver Springs.
Mayor Bennett and Mayor Stone’s history went back to their college days. Stone was blocking the vote. She had a hold over him and he would comply with whatever she required of him. Too, she was suspicious who was behind the project and who on the city commission was bought to push the vote through. Part of the last day of her life was to vote no on the project at the City Commission meeting.
There was a fifth suspect, the City Manager, Richard XX. Richard was Mary’s lover and the reason Mary was getting rid of Liz in the first place, so he could become Mayor. She spent years grooming him for the job. Mary’s secret plan included marrying Richard so she could become First Lady of the City.
Upon Liz’s death, Richard did become Mayor Protem and immediately terminated Mary. Mary knew he didn’t have the balls to get rid of Liz, and not really a viable suspect. However, his hospital vote was likely bought and paid for to push the hospital project through. Mary kept him on the list to pay him back for firing her. Not just from her job, but from his bed as well.
Mary figures out who killed the mayor. The killer was one of the suspects and the punishment should fit the crime in Mary’s mind.
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Hello everyone,
My name is Katherine and I have written one script.
What I hope to get out of this class is how to rewrite it to make it presentable/marketable.
The only unique thing about me is I am a senior and retiree looking to carve a way into the business at this late stage.
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I, Katherine Davis, agree to the terms of the release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.