Kathi Wahed
Forum Replies Created
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Lesson 2:
Till Death Do Us Part…and Beyond
Genre: Serious with comedy
Logline: A grieving, insecure widow wants to start over so buys an old house only to discover it needs major renovation. Unbekownst to her, she faces the meddling of her incompetent angel, the ghost of her husband and an angry neighbor who wants her gone until she resolves an old conflict with her husband and discovers a confidence she thought she’d lost.
Theme: Becoming your true self.
Main Conflict: To renovate her new home.
Stakes: She’ll have to sell the house at a loss if she can’t fix it and move in with her kids.
Transformational Journey: Kat develops confidence in her abilities after addressing her dependence on her husband.
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This reply was modified 5 months, 3 weeks ago by Kathi Wahed.
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This reply was modified 5 months, 3 weeks ago by
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Genre: Comedy-Drama
Title: “Till Death Do Us Part…and Beyond”: or “Remodel Specter”
Concept: A grieving widow — guided intuitively by a new angel getting her wings — buys and renovates the first home she shared with her husband only to discover his ghost wreaking havoc on her remodel until they heal an old conflict.
Main characters:
Kat, an accident-prone and insecure 50 year old widow, trying to start over after the loss of her husband. She decides randomly to sell her house and buy elsewhere.
Nova, an angel-in-training, who’s been assigned to Kat. She’s in over her head but If she doesn’t pass her trianing she’ll be sent back to a dismal waiting room to try again…in a distant future.
Elie, the ghost of Kat’s husband, is still hanging around in this dimension because of unresolved issues with his wife. He worries she wont’ be able to manage without him. He’s a control freak, annoyed he has so little control without a body, but trying to direct Kat’s life from the grave.
Jack, Kat & Jack’;s next door neighbor, who knew her and Elie in their youth. He wanted to buy Kat’s former home and connect it to his own, but Kat beat him to the punch. He’s trying to make her life miserable to run her off. Until he develops feelings for her.
Synopsis:
Kat, driven by maintenance disasters at home, decides to sell her home and buy elsewhere. In her search she discovers the first home she had with Elie is on the market. But it’s no better for the wear after 30 years. She takes on the job of renovating it but between her inexperienced angel, her husband’s meddling ghost and her neighbor who wants to force her out, she faces hilarious challenges left and right. Unaware of these hidden influences at first, she faces a nightmare renovation. But gradually she starts to understand that she must forge a true life of her own now and really take matters into her own hands.
What makes this funny?
Between the angel, the ghost and the neighbor — all with competing motives — Kat faces unknown, unseen and unimaginable forces. All of which create hilarious mishaps in a house being renovated.
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This reply was modified 5 months, 3 weeks ago by Kathi Wahed. Reason: don't know how to code to create proper spacing
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This reply was modified 5 months, 3 weeks ago by
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Kathi Wahed’s Hero
What I learned: Detail helps deepen character and motivation
Hero Morally Right: Hero developed genetically enginered seed to save US from starvation
Villain Morally Wrong: China military infectedUS food supply in effort to starve US population. Can’t abide anything that will reverse this.
Hero: A Unique Skill: Accomplished in extreme outdoor sports, excellent scientist
Motivation: He invented technology to save US, his wife and family included (we see them starving)
Secret or Wound: CIA has charged him with espionage
Villain: Unbeatable — Top athlete, now military leader. Trained as an assasin.
Plan/Goal — Steal Hero’s technology (seed), reverse engineer to sell to countries to make allies and money.
What they lose if Hero Survives — his life
CImpossible Mission :
A Puts Hero in Action: seeds stolen, CIA shows up at work looking for him, suspects him of espionage, Hero set on road to retrieve seeds
B. Demands they go beyond their best: physcially very challenging (intentional from route set up by Villain). Bikes within crowd to lose his pursuers. Destroy Premier’s fields that grow seed poisoning US and Europe’s food supply. Retrieve his invention to reverse the impact.
C. Destroy the Villain : Rockclimb into Premier’s secret sactum and uselight lasers to retrieve his invetnion and kill Villain.
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What I learned….move fast and don’t overthink things.
Kathi’s Conventions
Concept: Biologist about to file a patent for new strain of rice that will save America, has his prototype stolen by a Chinese spy. The biologist must hunt down the spy through Asia, all the way to the Chinese premier’s compound. If he doesn’t steal the prototype back China will use it to save its population from starvation. And America will starve.
Conventions:
Hero: Brilliant but conflicted about his work at a large chemical company. Grew up in China with his missionary mother and father. Returned to US to study. His recent discovery will revolutionize and save Americans from starvation (in the future when our food supply is depleted) and his patent will allow him to get out of the rat race and do what he likes most — extreme mountain sports. <div>
Demand For Action: Hero will have to get to China, overcoming murder attempt on the plane. Once in China he’ll be tracked by European intelligence trying to stop him (since they’ve negotiated a deal with China) and hounded by CIA who want to get to the prototype first. Inside the premier’s compound he’ll have to fight off highly skilled Chinese army commandos.
Mission: To retrieve the prototype, get home and take it to President’s staff for safekeeping. Claim his patent and save.
Antagonist: Chinese spy is the best assassin the country has.
Escalating Action: On his flight to China, kill a Chinese military officer who attacks him in the WC, steal a private plane when they land after the officer’s body is found, get shot at by Chinese pilots, crash and barely make it to town where he grew up, finds friend from his youth and asks for her help, her life is endangered, climbs rugged mountain range and skis through a blizzard to get to the premier’s heavily guarded compound. Disguise himself and crawl through the sewer system. Finds prototype in laser-guarded room, uses climbing skills to navigate, steals prototype back. Defeat competing countries’ spy network who want the prototype for themselves, betrayal of American politicians, etc.
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Hi I’m Kathi Wahed…I’ve taken many classes of Hals, including his Master’s class and Pro Series. I’ve written 10 screenplays and many have been finalists in writing competitions. I continue to educate myself on how to improve my skills and hope to one day (before I die) sell one of them!
I’m a “military brat,” moved every 3 years while growing up and lived all over the world. Loved the expose to different cultures and still love to travel and incorporate my life experiences into my stories.
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I, Kathi Twomey Wahed, agree to the terms of this release form.
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What I learned: come up with a plan, even if it’s not well developed. After all this is 20% quality so I’m definitely winging it. Fran’s plan is to go along with her new situation, comply (old ways). She advises everyone to think of this as summer camp. Until she realizes it isn’t. This is part A of her plan.
INT. HUT-TURLOCK RANCH – DAY
Fran wakes up, crammed into a small, dirty hut with eight other people – three sets of bunk beds.
She falls from the top bunk and injures her knee. When she spies a rat, she releases her cat to chase it.
CHU
What did we do to deserve this?
FRAN
We’re white.
Everyone looks at her, then Chu, confused.
FRAN
Wrong zip code. Look, we’re here because we deserve it. We’re entitled.
The others just stare at her.
FRAN
We need to develop empathy. Understand the underclass. They serve us. Now we serve them. It’s karma. This is Socialism 101…we’re in training, it’s summer camp. Let’s look at it that way.
MAGGIE
You sound like a moronic cheerleader.
FRAN
I thought you believed in the movement.
MAGGIE
I believed in the one that allowed us to stay in our homes. Not this.
FRAN
We can’t rock the boat. Or we’ll be shot. Right, Chu?
CHU
I’m sure my dad would be happy he spent $200,000 on my medical education to shovel shit.
FRAN
You didn’t build it. Whatever that means.
CHU
My father was a refugee who had three jobs to pay for my school. I spent six years a slave to the medical profession.
FRAN
I understand your disillusionment, your anger, your bitterness. But we’re the elites. We deserve this. It all boils down to white guilt.
CHU
You’re black for Chrissakes!
EXT. CATTLE PEN – DAY
Fran and the others, sweating, eye the cattle. Revolutionaries patrol the area with machine guns.
ED, a former accountant hijacked from a San Francisco CPA firm, bedraggled in suit and tie, shows them a graph and spouts numbers.
ED
Production is down and the revolution needs meat.
MAGGIE
They got us.
ED
The goal is three tons by next week. That’s ten cows. It requires three hours for each cow. We might make it.
FRAN
I’m nonviolent.
ED
What kind of work did you do?
Fran looks around to see if Sandy is anywhere to be seen.
FRAN
(whispering)
I was a therapist.
ED
Well, that was violent. In its own way. Ripping people’s pasts apart.
He turns to the cows.
ED
Maybe you could counsel them on separation anxiety.
He laughs hilariously.
MAGGIE
I’m not killing anything.
ED
That’s your job now. As I understand it, you are the means of production and the production is meat from the cows.
CHU
I dissected cadavers in medical school.
ED
Okay, you’re in charge. Get going. If we don’t meet our quotas we’ll be sent down the river.
FRAN
To another farm?
ED
No.
A revolutionary shoots one of the cows.
REVOLUTIONARY
It’s easy. You chicken shits.
Fran and Maggie swoon.
Chu leads the group into the slaughterhouse.
Unseen by the others, Fran and Maggie open the gate so the cows can escape.
INT. SLAUGHTERHOUSE – DAY
Chu and the others await the cows. But none come inside.
The Revolutionary wanders in.
REVOLUTIONARY
What are you waiting for? Kill the mother….
He notices there are no cows. He looks out the window and sees the cows trotting out into the field. He runs outside.
EXT. CATTLE PEN – DAY
The Revolutionary stares at Fran and Maggie.
REVOLUTIONARY
You counter revolutionary bitches.
FRAN
I’ve always supported the revolution. And I’ve counseled the others here to go along with it.
REVOLUTIONARY
You are thwarting PRC’s production goals. You are thwarting the revolution.
MAGGIE
But we’re not trained to do this.
FRAN
Not that we’re complaining. We aren’t the complaining types.
REVOLUTIONARY
Nobody knows what they’re doing. That doesn’t matter. What matters is the Workers are liberated and the Proletariat are their slaves now. Or something like that.
FRAN
I feel your pain…
He shoots at their feet and they jump.
REVOLUTIONARY
Here’s some pain. Get those cows.
Fran and Maggie race into the dung-filled fields.
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What I learned: make the Turning Point definiaitive. Have the Protagonist commit to journey no matter her ignorance.
EXT. TURLOCK RANCH – DAY
Trucks unload Fran, Maggie and her neighbors near the cows and the slaughterhouse. Cows eye them. Fran reassures them.
FRAN
I’m vegetarian.
It stinks and there are flies everywhere. Fran and Maggie close up their noses and swat at the insects.
A neighbor, SAM, a doctor neighbor, joins them.
SAM
We’re here to survive.
FRAN
I can do that.
Sandy and the Army steer them toward farmhand huts. Sandy steers Fran, Maggie and Sam to the low-life huts.
FRAN
You don’t expect us to live here, do you?
SANDY
Why not? This is the way you expected those farmhands to live. The ones who provided food for you.
FRAN
You’re right. We deserve this. But how long do we have to do this?
SANDY
How long did the Cultural Revolution last?
SAM
Till 20 million died.
Fran and the others scream and try to jump back on the trucks to escape.
The revolutionaries shoot one of their comrades. Fran, Maggie and Sam retreat.
SANDY
It’s for the cause. You dirty, elitist pigs. This resettlement is re-education. Get it?!
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What I learned. The Turning Point must be a definitive commitment to the story, whether the Protagonist wants it or not. It’s happening.
EXT. TURLOCK RANCH – DAY
Trucks unload Fran, Maggie and her neighbors near the cows and the slaughterhouse. Cows eye them. Fran reassures them.
FRAN
I’m vegetarian.
It stinks and there are flies everywhere. Fran and Maggie close up their noses and swat at the insects.
A neighbor, SAM, a doctor neighbor, joins them.
SAM
We’re here to survive.
FRAN
I can do that.
Sandy and the Army steer them toward farmhand huts. Sandy steers Fran, Maggie and Sam to the low-life huts.
FRAN
You don’t expect us to live here, do you?
SANDY
Why not? This is the way you expected those farmhands to live. The ones who provided food for you.
FRAN
You’re right. We deserve this. But how long do we have to do this?
SANDY
How long did the Cultural Revolution last?
SAM
Till 20 million died.
Fran and the others scream and try to jump back on the trucks to escape.
The revolutionaries shoot one of their comrades. Fran, Maggie and Sam retreat.
SANDY
It’s for the cause. You dirty, elitist pigs. This resettlement is re-education. Get it?!
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What I learned. Having a beginning, middle and end to scenes and sequences really helps with structure and logic.
Inciting Incident:
Beginning: Sandy and revolutionaries invade Fran’s neighborhood and tell her to get in truck
Middle: Fran tries to dissuade Sandy, saying she’s black, after all, but turns out she lives in the wrong zip code .
End: Fran is separated from her daughter and son-in-law and they’re all taken away from their homes.
INT. COURTHOUSE – DAY
Fran pleads with a JUDGE, 30’s.
FRAN
I didn’t realize what was happening, Judge.
JUDGE
Ignorance is no defense.
FRAN
It should be. There’s so much of it when it comes to crime. We need education, not punishment.
JUDGE
What do you plead?
FRAN
I plead with you to think. Look, Taco Bell is a capitalist corporate bloodsucker, right? They exploit workers, expropriate Latinix culture, cause climate change.
JUDGE
Climate change?
FRAN
Methane. From beans. You know.
JUDGE
Oh.
FRAN
Screw the corporations.
JUDGE
Didn’t you work for a corporation, in human relations, as a therapist?
FRAN
Well, yes. But these corporations are evil.
JUDGE
Taco Bell is more evil than Wells Fargo?
FRAN
They’re all evil.
JUDGE
Yeah. I guess you’re right. Case dismissed, based on good intentions.
Sandy and his cadre of revolutionaries, now quadrupled in size — all the new recruits are under fifteen — enter the courthouse.
SANDY
(yelling)
Fuck the judiciary.
FRAN
Where did you get all those kids?
SANDY
They’re comrades. Move-in sent out the word on social media and they showed up. Just like we planned.
One of the teenagers shoots the Judge. They all cheer.
FRAN
Oh my god. She shot the judge.
SANDY
This is now the People’s Republic of California. We’re in charge. You’re free, Fran.
FRAN
I was free. He dismissed my case.
SANDY
Now you’re really free.
Sandy and his army retreat, destroying the courthouse as they go.
SANDY
The PRC rules!
FRAN
Maybe I should’ve reported him when he told me about killing that kitten.
EXT. FRAN’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Trucks, filled with revolutionaries, pour into the neighborhood. Floodlights scan the perimeter. Residents appear at their windows.
Sandy, bullhorn in hand, yells to the residents.
SANDY
Leave your homes quickly. Take one bag, leave everything else behind.
Revolutionaries shoot open the front door of Fran’s neighbor, grab a couple and push them outside, in their pajamas. They load them onto trucks.
The man resists and a revolutionary shoots him. The wife collapses.
Fran stares her front door, shocked.
FRAN
What are you doing, Sandy?
SANDY
It’s happening. Just like I told you. American Mao.
FRAN
Meow? Was that the kitten story?
SANDY
American Mao. The Cultural Revolution. Come on.
Sandy nudges her with his machine gun.
FRAN
But I’m black.
SANDY
Wrong zip code.
FRAN
Zip code?
SANDY
You live in a white supremacist zip code. Everyone has to go.
FRAN
Go where?
SANDY
Get your things and get in the truck, Fran. And shut up.
She grabs her mother-in-law’s silver, set aside in an emergency bag. And shoves her cat into a cat cage. It meows.
FRAN
American meow.
Ruth and Jimmy stumble out, still drunk. Jimmy gestures with his gun. Revolutionaries shoot at his feet and he drops the gun. Ruth throws up on Sandy.
RUTH
Oh sorry. Wow. This party looks bigger than mine.
FRAN
Get a bag, Ruthie. They’re taking us away. It’s the revolution.
RUTH
Cool.
Sandy points to a different truck for Ruth and Jimmy.
FRAN
Let them come with me, Sandy. Please.
SANDY
Families are no longer allowed. They are against policy.
RUTH
That’s fine with me.
FRAN
But. She’s my child.
Fran is forced into one truck; Ruth and Jimmy another. Ruth giggles, thinking this is fun and games.
Revolutionaries shoot other neighbors who resist.
Reaction:
Beginning: Fran spies her friend Maggie in the departing truck.
Middle: They console themselves that this is like Swedish socialism and it will be temporary.
End: Farm workers overtake their homes and they realize it’s probably permanent.
INT. TRUCK – NIGHT
Fran spies Maggie at the back of the truck. They huddle together and hold one another.
MAGGIE
I didn’t think they’d do this.
FRAN
They said it was socialism. Like in Sweden. And they have such nice design there, you know.
MAGGIE
This doesn’t look like Sweden. They’re taking our homes.
FRAN
They’ll give them back, I’m sure.
They look out the window. Other trucks arrive with scores of bedraggled Farm Workers. They jump from their trucks and rush to enter the vacated homes. Ecstatic they yell to Fran and Maggie and others in the trucks.
FARM WORKER
Gracias, gracias. Hey, do you have Netflix?
Maggie bites her lip.
FRAN
This looks like the Chinese version, not the Swedish one.
MAGGIE
It’s an exchange.
FRAN
Yeah, but for what?
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EXT. OAKLAND DOWNTOWN — DAY
FRAN, mid 50’s, former hippie, but now into shoppiing, shouts amongst a protest crowd where signs scream “GUNS KILL! SAVE OUR CHILDREN, TURN IN YOUR GUNS.”
FRAN
Guns kill, turn ‘em in. Guns kill, turn ‘em in.
A BYSTANDER yells back at her.
BYSTANDER
What about the constitution?
FRAN
This is the 21st century, not the 13th.
BYSTANDER
The Constitution was signed in 1787.
FRAN
Whatever.
BYSTANDER
Guns don’t kill, people do.
FRAN
But they’re victims of the racist system we allow. They need help. Therapy.
Fran eyes the Neiman Marcus in the distance. She turns to her friend, MAGGIE, 70’s, purple hair and whispers.
FRAN
They’re having a sale.
MAGGIE
You’re such a consumerist, Fran.
FRAN
I like shoes.
MAGGIE
This is the revolution, sister. Get over it.
FRAN
Don’t report me on Facebook, please.
Behind them, at a police precinct, Police Officers pay for gun-owners to voluntarily turn in their guns. As they load the guns into a wheel barrow, a volunteer, JIMMY, early 30’s, Fran’s son-in-law, steers it to the out-of-sight back door, where he sells off the guns to local gangs.
SANDY, late 20’s, skinny, outfitted in black except for his flamboyant face make-up, approaches with a group of Revolutionaries. They all dress alike and carry machine guns.
SANDY
(to Fran)
Good job, doc. You cleared the way for us.
FRAN
I did? Wow. I did.
SANDY
Go to my van, will ya? Bring me that box in the back.
FRAN
Sure, Sandy. Anything for a patient.
SANDY
Shut up, bitch. No one can know about that.
FRAN
Watch that anger of yours, Sandy. You know it’s a deep-seated issue.
Fran trots over and brings back a box and hands it to Sandy.
A Compatriot points to a cross down the street.
Sandy opens the box, pulls out a bomb and tosses it at the church.
Suddenly, Tacos, chips, refried beans and workers fly through the air.
FRAN
What do you have against Taco Bell?
SANDY
I thought it was a church. We’ve gotta destroy religion. But shit…it’s a fucking capitalist, bloodsucking corporation. Expropriates Mexican culture, exploits its workers, encourages climate change.
The Army cheers and shoots off guns at the anti-gun protest. Sandy gives Fran a thumbs up and leaves.
MAGGIE
You rock, Fran.
FRAN
I thought this was gonna be
peaceful.
The police arrest her, while Sandy and his compatriots escape.
INT. FRAN’S HOUSE, SUBURBIA – NIGHT
Fran drags into her house, having just paid her bail to get out of jail.
A party rages at her beautifully decorated suburban home.
Fran zeroes in on her daughter, RUTH, early 30’s, narcissist and party-goer.
FRAN
What are you doing?
RUTH
Loosen up, mom. Have some fun.
FRAN
I was fighting for the revolution and got arrested. I called you but got your voicemail.
RUTH
I don’t do voicemail, mom. So old school.
FRAN
This is my house, Ruth. Have some respect.
RUTH
It was Dad’s house, not yours. You capitalist bitch.
FRAN
He was run out of town by anti-Semites and had to go to Israele gave me the house. Don’t you remember?
RUTH
Whatever. Get over it mom. This place is mine as much as yours. It’s the people’s house.
Jimmy, the son-in-law, corrals all the guns he collected at the police station. He continues to sell them to gang members out the back door.
FRAN
Where did you learn this stuff, Ruth?
RUTH
University. Whadyathink?
INT. COURTHOUSE – DAY
Fran pleads with a JUDGE, 30’s.
FRAN
I didn’t realize what was happening, Judge.
JUDGE
Ignorance is no defense.
FRAN
But it should be. Look, Taco Bell is a capitalist corporate bloodsucker, right? They exploit workers, expropriate Latinix culture, cause climate change.
JUDGE
Climate change?
FRAN
Methane. From beans. You know.
JUDGE
Oh.
FRAN
Screw the corporations.
JUDGE
Yeah. Dismissed, based on good intentions.
Sandy and his revolutionaries enter the courthouse, but now it’s a huge army.
SANDY
Fuck the judiciary.
They shoot the Judge.
SANDY
This is now the People’s Republic of California. We’re in charge. You’re free, Fran.
Sandy and his army retreat.
FRAN
Maybe I should’ve reported him when he told me about killing that kitten.
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Lesson 8 – Revised Beat Sheet, Theme & Antagonist’s journey
AMERICAN MAO
OPENING
ACT 1
EXT. URBAN AREA – DAY
Anti-gun protest. FRAN, mid 50’s, shouts out slogans, “Guns kill. Turn them in.” “What about the constitution?” “Fuck the constitution.” Law enforcement pays for gun-owners to voluntarily turn in their guns. We see there’s a scam going on where the collected guns are being recirculated out the back door.
SANDY, late 20’s, approaches with a group of revolutionaries. He asks Fran to help retrieve something from his van, which she does, unwittingly. We see they know each other when she reminds him to remember his anger issues.
Sandy and the revolutionaries, spying a cross in the distance, toss their bombs there. Instead of a church it’s a Taco Bell. Tacos, chips, refried beans and workers fly through the air. Sandy and revolutionaries brandish guns and shout Communist jargon in celebration. Sandy gives Fran a thumbs up. She’s shocked, saying “I thought this was peaceful.”
INT. FRAN’S HOUSE, SUBURBIA – NIGHT
Placeholder – see Fran’s very nice suburban house. Wild party in process. Meet her daughter RUTH, early 30’s, and son-in-law, perhaps a younger son. See the son-in-law made a killing from trading in guns for a local gang and getting paid multiple times for them. Fran reproaches them “This is my house, respect it.” Ruth: “you capitalist pig. Dad paid for this house.” “He was run out of the country by anti-Semites. Anyway, he gave the house to me.” “Fuck private land ownership, this belongs to me as much as you.” “Where did you learn this?” “At school, of course.”
INT. COURTHOUSE – DAY
Fran tells a Judge she didn’t realize what was happening. She’s innocent. Anyway, “Taco Bell is a capitalist corporate bloodsucker that exploits its workers, expropriates another culture for profit, encourages climate change.” Judge: “oh?” “Beans, methane.” Judge nods and dismisses her because of her good anti-capitalist intentions.
Sandy and his revolutionaries take over the courthouse, but now it’s a huge army. They kill the Judge and declare the People’s Republic of California (PCR) is now in charge. Sandy explains that elites must be elimianted for the cause. Fran is mortified and says something like “maybe I should’ve reported Sandy.”
INCITING INCIDENT
EXT. FRAN’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Sandy and Army move in with trucks, floodlights, bullhorns, announcing everyone is to leave their homes. Can take one bag. Sandy yells at Fran, “It’s happening, just like I told you.”
They point guns at Fran and make her leave her house. She objects, saying “but I’m black.” Sandy says “you live in a white supremacist zip code. You are one of them.”
She grabs her mother in law’s silver and her cat. Staring down the guns, she turns to Sandy, “I thought you were against guns?” Sandy smirks.
The Army separates her from her family. Ruth, her husband and brother are taken in a different truck. Ruth objects, “I spouted your jargon.” Sandy says, “You have a rotten social score.” “What for?” “Letting your dog shit on your neighbors’ lawns. They reported you.” They take her dog from her.
Fran pleads to stay together but Sandy says “families are no longer allowed. It’s against policy.” They are piled into trucks and taken away.
EXT. TURLOCK RANCH – DAY
Trucks unload Fran and her neighbors near the cows and the slaughterhouse. Cows eye them. Fran reassures them, “I’m vegetarian.” It stinks and there are flies everywhere.
Sandy and the Army steer them toward farmhand huts. They “liberate” the farmhands, who cheer, say Adios and jump on the trucks. Sandy: “You’re going to live in a beautiful home.” Farmhand to Fran: “Do you have Netflix?”
Fran and the neighbors object and question Sandy. “This is just temporary, right?” He says, “How long did the Cultural Revolution last in China?” A neighbor, a doctor, says after awhile, “After 20 million died.” The group screams and tries to run back to the truck but one of the Army shoots a woman and injures her. Sandy: “it’s for the cause, you dirty elitist pigs. This is resettlement for re-education.”
ACT 2
INT. HUT-TURLOCK RANCH – DAY
Fran wakes up, crammed into small, dirty hut with 8 other people – 3 sets of bunk beds. She falls from top bunk, injures knee. Releases her cat to chase rats. Someone says, “what did we do to deserve this?” “we’re white” – they all look at Fran and she says “wrong zip code.”
Fran tries to buy into the experience…says it’s to give us a taste of how our struggling workers live. Good to help open our eyes. Develop empathy and appreciation. Learn a new skill set. Think of it as camp.” Everyone looks at her skeptically. The Doctor says, “I’m sure my dad will be happy he spent $200,000 on my medical education so I can shovel shit.” Fran parrots: “You didn’t build it.” Doctor: “my father was an immigrant who had 3 jobs to pay for my school. I spent 6 years a slave to the medication profession. For this?” Fran says “quit whining” and, ever the optimist and therapist says, “Let’s make the best of it.”
INT. RANCH SLAUGHTERHOUSE – DAY
Fran and others, sweating. They eye the cattle. A Revolutionary Cadre Leader (former gamer/hacker?) directs them, spouts numbers, quotas, performance metrics. Fran says, “But what are we supposed to do?” Cadre Leader says “Did you think cows poop hamburgers? Line ‘em up and shoot ‘em.” Fran objects and secretly releases cows from fenced in yard. Cadre leader shoots at her feet and makes her retrieve them from dung-filled fields. Cadre leader: “YOU don’t exist anymore. You only exist to help the group. No one cares about your selfish needs.”
INT. HUT – NIGHT
Fran holds a group therapy session, using her “Socialist for Dummies” manual to train the group in socialist jargon. They question the dictates. She tells them to face their white guilt and get over it.
Sandy joins them, uses a white board and puts an X through white people. Doctor says “as in exterminate us?” Sandy: “Oh no, just take away everything of value from you, make you real workers and eliminate you from leadership positions. You’re dust.”
When Sandy leaves, the group disintegrates and starts complaining and whining and beating up on each other. Fran tries to counsel them in traditional therapist manner but it’s all ludicrous.
Suddenly, over the hidden room speakers, Sandy says “we hear you. You have committed a communist crime.” The room is smoke bombed. Sandy and the Army punishes them by making them sleep outside with the cows, “like the animals that you are.”
INT. SLAUGHTERHOUSE – NIGHT
Carcasses come through on an assembly line. A few workers try to cut them up a lot Lucille Ball, but there’s a back-up. No one knows what they’re doing. They review a large chart showing animal parts of cow. Doctor tries to help. Doesn’t work. Finally, they just throw the whole bodies into the back of the trucks.
EXT. FANCY CITY RESTAURANT OR GROCERY STORE – DAY
Trucks arrive and dump whole cow carcasses. Workers pissed and unsure what to do. None of them know what they’re doing, they’re all IT workers. Talk about algorithms.
Zombie-like people, starving, steal parts of the carcasses and gnaw on them.
EXT. FEEDLOT – DAY
PRC troops come in to increase production (there’s a backlog and people are beginning to starve). But they make their point by pepper spraying the cattle with bullets, killing cattle and a few people in the process. “Get it?”
MIDPOINT – TURNING POINT
INT. HUT – NIGHT
Fran calls daughter – “where are you?” Ruth tells her she’s living in a ghetto near their old house, over the hill. Ruth reveals to Fran that she’s pregnant. Fran is so excited, “I’m going to be a grandmother.” But Ruth tells her the Commandant said they have to abort. Fran asks if she wants that. She’s not sure, but has no choice. Abortion is set for ____ date in future (5days?). Ruth says “maybe it’s the best thing since who wants to bring kids into the ghetto.” Fran says, “look we can go home, have the baby.” Ruth shows her a video of their home overrun with 3 Mexican families now living there, taco trucks in driveway, low rider cars in neighborhood, Madonnas gracing every tree, wet clothes drying on shrubs, homes now painted paint and turquoise, strumming Mexican musicians, gangs roaming around with the guns from scene one. Ruth, “we can’t go home.”
INT. HUT – DAY
Placeholder: Everyone’s phones confiscated.
ACT 3
EXT. TURLOCK RANCH – DAY
All workers become like slaves, spouting communist diktats, like robots.
INT/EXT. SLAUGHTERHOUSE OR FIELD – DAY
Fran whispers to doctor “I’ve gotta get out of here.” Doctor, “but how?”
EXT. SLAUGHTERHOUSE – DAY
Fran and group digging ditch.
INT. HUT – DAY
Fran and the group hunting for something.
EXT. HUT – NIGHT
Guard notices something sparkling in grass. He sees Fran’s piece of silver and goes to retrieve it. He picks it up then notices another in the distance, goes to pick it up, eventually falls in shit ditch they dug.
Fran takes remaining silver set, the steak knives, and jumps in bus. She drives out of there with a doctor, and they head toward Oakland.
EXT. REMOTE FIELD – DAY
Doctor trains Fran on tossing knives at scarecrow. They shoot a rat and eat it?
EXT. MERCED – DAY
Their bus breaks down. Counterrevolutionaries (underground group) threaten Fran and doc. But they identify as counterrevolutionaries, too. They make them answer a multi-choice test to see if they’re really counterrevolutionaries. They challenge Fran and say “you’re black, how is this possible?” Fran says “wrong zip code.” “How racist.” They help them to continue on their way to Oakland. Give them a phone.
EXT. SLAUGHTERHOUSE – DAY
Sandy arrives, learned about Fran’s desertion, tortures hut-mate who objects. “What about the divine consciousness in every human being?” “That’s religious bullshit. Counterrevolutionary.” Once Sandy knows where Fran has gone, he shoots the hut-mate.
EXT. I-5 OR HWY 99 – DAY
A line of trucks of revolutionaries in hot pursuit of Fran and friend.
EXT. MERCED – DAY
Counterrevolutionaries get word of pursuing revolutionaries, set up intersection with banner of Mao and Marx. Sandy thinks they’re being welcomed. But shoot out ensues. Guns, bombs, etc. One of the counterrevolutionaries throws a gun to Fran and a samurai knife to her friend. They escape, by way of motorcycles?
EXT. GHETTO – DAY
Fran watches from afar as PRC health van picks up Ruth and son-in-law. Cuffs them and drives off.
EXT. URBAN STREETS – DAY
Fran and friend follow the van to Hospital or clinic. Get caught up in protest with signs that say “Eliminate white people.” They eye Fran, then the doctor (who’s Korean). “What about him?” “I don’t think he’s white.”
INT. PCR PRECINCT – DAY
Fran shows up, spouts a lot of Communist jargon and convinces them she’s with the revolution. She demands they replenish her supplies (guns.). They comply and she gets guns.
INT./EXT. ABORTION CLINIC – DAY
Fran breaks into clinic. Points gun at abortion doc, “release my daughter.”
Sandy and revolutionary army break arrive in a tank, guns in hand.
Counterrevolutionaries show up with hand held missiles. Sandy’s group drops a drone shot but it misses the building. Escalation then a stand-off.
Sandy confronts Fran. She drops her gun but then stabs Sandy with steak knife. Her doctor neighbor takes the Sumarai sword he was given and fillets a few of the troops into tenderloins, chops, etc. just like on diagram at slaughterhouse. But Sandy kills him.
EXT. ABORTION CLINIC – DAY
Counterrevolutionaries set off bombs and Fran, Ruth and son-in-law escape.
EXT. NEAR NEVADA STATE LINE – NIGHT
Placeholder: Sandy survives and, with his army, stop them at the border. Last battle. Fran uses info from their therapist session to embarrass him in front of his army (indulgent capitalist past).
EXT. NEVADA – day
Fran, Ruth and son in law stopped by a truck, resembling PRC truck. Frightened. But learn it’s full of nice folks (cowboys, prostitutes, PTA leaders, men in suits) who are a welcoming committee. They offer to take them to the hospital.
INT. HOSPITAL – DAY
Ruth gives birth to a baby girl. Doctor asks, “What race? Black, white?” They say “who cares, she’s beautiful.”
What I learned? This is a great way, step by step, to make sure one’s beat sheet incorporates theme and the antagonist’s journey from the get-go.
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Lesson 7 – Beat Sheet, Speed writing
AMERICAN MAO
OPENING
ACT 1
EXT. URBAN AREA – DAY
Anti-gun protest. FRAN, mid 50’s, shouts out slogans while law enforcement pays for volunteer gun-owners to turn in their guns. We see there’s a scam going on where the collected guns are being recirculated out the back door.
SANDY, late 20’s, approaches with a group of revolutionaries. He asks Fran to help retrieve something from his van, which she does, unwittingly. We see they know each other when she reminds him to remember his anger issues.
Sandy and the revolutionaries, spying a cross in the distance, toss their bombs there. Instead of a church it’s a Taco Bell. Tacos, chips, refried beans and workers fly through the air. Sandy and revolutionaries brandish guns and shout Communist jargon in celebration. Sandy gives Fran a thumbs up. She’s shocked, saying “I thought this was peaceful.”
INT. FRAN’S HOUSE, SUBURBIA – NIGHT
Placeholder – see Fran’s very nice suburban house, meet her daughter RUTH, early 30’s, and son-in-law, perhaps a younger son. See the son-in-law made a killing from trading in guns for a local gang and getting paid multiple times for them. Daughter a party girl?
INT. COURTHOUSE – DAY
Fran tells a Judge she didn’t realize what was happening. She’s innocent. Anyway, “Taco Bell is a capitalist corporate bloodsucker anyway.” Judge agrees and dismisses her because of her good intentions.
Sandy and his revolutionaries take over the courthouse, but now it’s a huge army. They kill the Judge and declare the People’s Republic of California (PCR) is now in charge. Fran is mortified and says something like “maybe I should’ve reported him to the police.”
INCITING INCIDENT
EXT. FRAN’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Sandy and Army move in with trucks, floodlights, bullhorns, announcing everyone is to leave their homes. Can take one bag. Sandy yells at Fran, ”it’s happening, just like I told you.”
They point guns at Fran and make her leave her house. She objects, saying “but I’m black.” Sandy says “you live in a white supremacist zip code. So, you are one of them.”
She grabs her mother in law’s silver and her cat. Staring down the guns, she turns to Sandy, “I thought you were against guns?” She smirks.
The Army separates her from her family. Ruth, her husband and brother are taken in a different truck. Fran pleads to stay together but Sandy says “families are no longer allowed. It’s against policy.” They are piled into trucks and taken away.
EXT. TURLOCK RANCH – DAY
Trucks unload Fran and her neighbors near the cows and the slaughterhouse. Cows eye them. Fran reassures them, “I’m vegetarian.” It stinks and there are flies everywhere.
Sandy and the Army steer them toward farmhand huts. They “liberate” the farmhands, who cheer, say Adios and jump on the trucks. Sandy: “You’re going to live in a beautiful home.” Farmhand: “Do you have Netflix?”
Fran and the neighbors object and question Sandy. “This is just temporary, right?” He says, “How long did the Cultural Revolution last in China?” Some professor says after awhile, “After 20 million died.” The group screams and tries to run back to the truck but one of the Army shoots a woman and injures her. Sandy: “it’s for the cause, you dirty elitist pigs. This is resettlement for re-education.”
ACT 2
INT. HUT-TURLOCK RANCH – DAY
Fran wakes up, crammed into small, dirty hut with 8 other people – 3 sets of bunk beds. She falls from top bunk, injures knee. Releases her cat to chase rats. Someone says, “what did we do to deserve this?” “we’re white” – they all look at Fran and she says “wrong zip code.”
Fran tries to buy into the experience…says it’s to give us a taste of how our struggling workers live. Good to help open our eyes. Develop empathy and appreciation. Learn a new skill set. Think of it as camp.” Everyone looks at her skeptically. One neighbor says, “I’m sure my dad will be happy he spent $200,000 on my medical education so I can shovel shit.” Fran, ever the optimist and therapist says, “Let’s make the best of it.”
INT. RANCH SLAUGHTERHOUSE – DAY
Fran and others, sweating. They eye the cattle. Fran says “Just so you know, I’m a vegetarian.”
A Revolutionary Cadre Leader (former accountant) directs them, spouts numbers, quotas, performance metrics. Fran says, “But what are we supposed to do?” Cadre Leader says “Did you think cows poop hamburgers? Line ‘em up and execute them.” Fran objects and secretly releases cows from fenced in yard. Cadre shoots at her feet and makes her retrieve them from dung-filled fields.
INT. HUT – NIGHT
Fran holds a group therapy session, using her “Socialist for Dummies” manual to train the group in socialist jargon. They question the dictates. She tells them to face their white guilt and get over it. Sandy joins them, uses a white board and puts an X through white people. Doctor says “as in exterminate us?” Sandy: “Oh no, just take away everything of value from you, make you real workers and eliminate you from leadership positions. You’re dust.”
When Sandy leaves, the group disintegrates and starts complaining and whining and beating up on each other. Fran tries to counsel them in traditional therapist manner but it’s all ludicrous.
Suddenly, the room is smoke bombed. Sandy and the Army have been eavesdropping on them, knows their every word. Punishes them by making them sleep outside with the cows, “like the animals that you are.”
EXT. FEEDLOT – DAY
PRC troops come into to increase force an increase production (there’s a backlog and people are beginning to starve). But they make their point by pepper spraying the cattle with bullets, killing cattle and a few people in the process. “Get it?”
INT. SLAUGHTERHOUSE – NIGHT
Carcasses come through on an assembly line. A few workers try to cut them up a lot Lucille Ball, but there’s a back-up. No one knows what they’re doing. They review a large chart showing animal parts of cow. Doctor tries to help. Doesn’t work. Finally, they just throw the whole bodies into the back of the trucks.
EXT. FANCY CITY RESTAURANT OR GROCERY STORE – DAY
Trucks arrive and dump whole cow carcasses. Workers pissed and unsure what to do. None of them know what they’re doing, they’re all IT workers.
MIDPOINT – TURNING POINT
INT. HUT – NIGHT
Fran calls daughter – “where are you?” Ruth tells her she’s living in a ghetto near their old house, over the hill. Ruth reveals to Fran that she’s pregnant. Fran is so excited, “I’m going to be a grandmother.” But Ruth tells her the Commandant said they have to abort. Fran asks if she wants that. She’s not sure, but has no choice. Abortion is set for ____ date in future (5days?). Ruth says “maybe it’s the best thing since who wants to bring kids into the ghetto.” Fran says, “look we can go home, have the baby.” Ruth shows her a video of their home overrun with 3 Mexican families now living there, taco trucks in driveway, low riders cars in neighborhood, Madonnas gracing every tree, wet clothes drying on shrubs, homes now painted paint and turquoise, strumming Mexican musicians, gangs roaming around with the guns from scene one. Ruth, “we can’t go home.”
ACT 3
INT/EXT. SLAUGHTERHOUSE OR FIELD – DAY
Fran whispers with friend “I’ve gotta get out of here.” Friend, “but how?”
EXT. SLAUGHTERHOUSE – DAY
Fran and group digging ditch.
INT. HUT – DAY
Fran and the group hunting for something.
EXT. HUT – NIGHT
Guard notices something sparkling in grass. He sees Fran’s piece of silver and goes to retrieve it. He picks it up then notices another in the distance, goes to pick it up, eventually falls in shit ditch they dug.
Fran takes remaining silver set, the steak knives, and jumps in bus. She drives out of there with a neighbor friend, and they head toward Oakland.
EXT. REMOTE FIELD – DAY
Friend trains Fran on tossing knives at scarecrow. They shoot a rat and eat it?
EXT. MERCED – DAY
Their bus breaks down. Counterrevolutionaries (underground group) threaten Fran and friend. But they identify as counterrevolutionaries, too. They challenge her and say “you’re black, how is that possible?” Fran says “wrong zip code.” “How racist.” They help them to continue on their way to Oakland.
EXT. SLAUGHTERHOUSE – DAY
Sandy arrives, learned about Fran’s desertion, tortures hut-mate who reveals where Fran has gone and why.
EXT. I-5 OR HWY 99 – DAY
A line of trucks of revolutionaries in hot pursuit of Fran and friend.
EXT. MERCED – DAY
Counterrevolutionaries get word of pursuing revolutionaries, set up intersection with banner of Mao and Marx. Sandy thinks they’re being welcomed. But shoot out ensures. Guns, bombs, etc. One of the counterrevolutionaries throws a gun to Fran and a samurai knife to her friend. They escape, by way of motorcycles?
EXT. GHETTO – DAY
Fran watches from afar as PRC health van picks up Ruth and son-in-law. Cuffs them and drives off.
EXT. URBAN STREETS – DAY
Fran and friend follow the van to Hospital or clinic.
INT. PCR PRECINCT – DAY
Fran shows up, spouts a lot of Communist jargon and convinces them she’s with the revolution. She demands they replenish her supplies (guns.). They comply and she gets guns.
INT./EXT. ABORTION CLINIC – DAY
Fran breaks into clinic. Points gun at Doctor, “release my daughter.”
Sandy and revolutionary army break in with a tank and military aviation support, guns in hand. There’s a stand-off. Fran drops gun but stabs Sandy with steak knife. Fran’s friend (the doctor?) takes the sumarai sword he was given and fillets a few of the troops into tenderloins, chops, etc. just like on diagram at slaughterhouse.
EXT. ABORTION CLINIC – DAY
Fran, the doctor set off bombs and Ruth and her husband escape with Fran.
EXT. NEVADA STATE LINE – NIGHT
Fran, doctor, Ruth and son in law stopped by a truck, looking just like PRC truck. Frightened. But learned it’s full of nice folks who offer to take them to the hospital.
INT. HOSPITAL – DAY
Ruth gives birth to a baby girl. Doctor asks her race “Black, white?” They say “who cares, she’s beautiful.”
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Lesson 6 – Transformational Events
Fran starts as a Socialist supporter who’s anti-gun use and ends up saving her daughter from a forced abortion from the new Maoist government by way of shooting it out with the Antagonist.
Old Ways:
Believer in Socialism
Suburban mother and therapist
Conformist to progressive views; wanting to please her friends
Anti-gun activist
Thought the Maoist approach might work
New Ways
Sees the reality of what socialism means when she loses her house and belongings and is sent to resettlement/re-education camp
Separated from her daughter by the new regime and unable to practice her profession
Starts to question the effectiveness of this approach ; sees how people really act in this situation
Realizes she may have to use a gun to save her daughter (since the regime uses guns to impose order)
Sees the truth of the Maoist fallacy; resettling people/reeducating them is inhumane and inefficient
6-8 changes or steps that need to happen for the character to go from who they are in the beginning to who they are in the ending.
1) Realizes movement is not nonviolent but willing to use violence to achieve goals
2) Realizes the movement is not just theoretical but a true revolution
3) Realizes she will have to pay a personal price in this revolution – loss of home, separation from daughter, loss of profession, relocation to farm
4) Tries to buy into it but sees reality of the farm’s failure/idiocy
5) Starts to voice opposition/tell the truth/help other farm residents/effort to save daughter
6) Realizes she has to stand up, escape, take up arms against movement (and Antagonist) to save daughter – needs training and partners to help her achieve goal.
7) Is willing to risk her life for escape to a different future
Transformational events:
1) At anti-gun rally Antagonist convinces Fran to help provide material. She doesn’t realize it’s for a bombing. Instead of Church, Antagonist bombs a Taco Bell. Lives and tacos are loss.
2) When called before Judge, Fran exhorts “tacos for all, not just the rich.” He realizes she’s a theoretical Socialist so lets her off for “good intentions.” But the Antagonist blows him to pieces, demonstrating the movement means total annihilation of the old order.
3) Antagonist and goons confiscate Fran’s house and resettle her to a farm where she will be re-educated. She balks, saying she’s black, but Antagonist says she lives in the wrong zip code. No exceptions. She’s separated from daughter.
4) At farm, tries to use her skills to make things works – please others, be compliant. But sees what a joke the whole thing is. Nobody knows what they’re doing and the farm fails. Some people don’t do any work; others do it all. Re-education is ludicrous. She has to come to grips with the Truth. But when she does, she’s thrown to the masses and beaten up.
5) When she finds out her daughter (living elsewhere) is pregnant and the regime wants to abort her baby, she trains in the use of guns, devises a plan to escape and save her daughter and future grandchild.
6) Executes plan but it fails. She’s about to be killed but son in law brings in guns, they’re able to rescue Fran and her daughter. Fran kills Antagonist and they escape to other state. She loses all her belongings but has her freedom and the future grandchild she saved.
What I learned: Need to come up with more specific dramatic events to showcase transformation. Plus they need to be funnier to make this satire work effectively.
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Lesson 5 – Kathi’s 4 Act Transformational Structure
1) Structure
a) Concept: What if the socialist revolution you think you support would mean killing off your grandchild-to-be?
b) Main Conflict: Fran escaping from a re-education camp to save her daughter from a forced abortion.
c) Old Ways: compliant, wants to please others, weak, passive, against guns.
d) New Ways: stands up, isn’t concerned about making others unhappy, strong, aggressive, using a gun when she has to.
1) Act 1
a. Opening: Anti gun protest where Fran spouts socialist jargon. An activist bombs what they think is a church but turns out to be a Taco Bell
b. Inciting Incident: New socialist government (People’s Republic of California), with deputy commandant, Sandy (her old therapy patient) who confiscates her house and resettles her to…
c. Turning Point: A re-education camp or farm where she has to till the land and grow pot for the revolution
2) Act 2
a. New Plan: Fran decides to give it a try, please the government and be helpful.
b. Plan in Action: Tries to make it like camp, learning all the communist beliefs through games, but everybody gets it backwards; tries to do group therapy but people just want to talk about personal problems, not the group so it fails; Fran wants to get her family transferred to join her but no luck (PRC wants to segregate and destroy the family Sandy shows her by way of a puppet show); Fran wants to go home but Sandy shows her via home security that it’s taken over by others and her home is in shambles.
c. Midpoint Turning Point: Fran finds out her daughter is pregnant
3) Act 3
a. Rethink everything: Farm is a failure because nobody knows what they’re doing and Fran is fearful she’ll be killed; realizes she has to escape, especially to save her daughter.
b. New Plan: escape from the farm, liberate pregnant daughter and get out of state.
c. Turning Point: Huge failure/major shift: Caught by Antagonist, taken to other farm where daughter is, daughter wants abortion; Fran to witness death of her future grandchild (or be the killer herself).
4) Act 4:
a. Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Fran, with help of son in law and others, turns gun on Sandy and the rest of the army to free daughter (who has changed her mind and wants the baby afterall).
b. Resolution: Escape to other state. They have nothing but are helped by townspeople there. Daughter gives birth.
What I’ve learned: This skeletal approach to an outline is more approachable than laboring over all the details. I have something to work with.
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Interview with Fran, the Protagonist:
Tell me about yourself: I come from a family of 4 girls and 1 boy. Our father was a professor of psychiatry at a traditionally black college. I became a therapist myself. My parents were followers of Martin Luther King, not the Black Panthers. I had an affair with my college professor of philosophy, an Israeli or white Frenchman, got pregnant and we married. I wanted an abortion but my husband threatened legal action. We had a daughter, Ruth, who’s 32 now and a son who’s 28 but we divorced when my husband became super religious and returned to Israel? He paid child support, so helped out financially, but wasn’t in the picture.
Why you were called to this journey?
Because I’m guilty of having too much – more than I deserve, mainly because my husband was white. Not like my sisters who live over the hill in Oakland. I need to feel their pain.
Who are you up against? The new government, the PCR (People’s Republic of California) and this badass white dude named Sandy. Well, they’re trans but so what? I’ve discovered they want to torture me and make an example out of me…to prove that they can do this to a black woman, as well as a white, no problem.
What is it about them that makes this journey even more difficult for you?
Sandy is a former patient.
Stepping out of box to survive—what changes do you expect to make and which will be the most difficult?
Working on a farm – a pot farm no less. I never liked pot anyway. I’m very sensitive and am afraid how I might react to it. Worried it will affect my work and I will suffer. Afraid what they might do if I don’t produce to their quotas. Anyway, I’m not in very good shape and I have a bum knee. Plus, I like my cappuccinos and croissants and I doubt those will be on the menu.
What habits or ways of thinking will be most difficult?
Being unable to pay for what I want (no money in this system). Afraid things might degenerate into a “dog eat dog” mentality and I’ll be too weak to stand up.
What fears, insecurities, wounds held you back?
Loss of everything, including my identity. Managed to survive but barely. Fearful of guns and worry system won’t be as utopian as promised.
What skills, background or expertise makes you well suited to face this conflict or antagonist?
My therapist experience. I can understand people, especially Sandy, as I counseled him, well, they, before they were a they. Also I was a camp counselor
What are you hiding from the other characters? What don’t you want them to know?
I’m really afraid.
What do you think of Sandy?
He has a lot of anger to deal with.
Tell me your side of whole conflict/story?
I don’t know why Sandy is being so mean to me. I thought he cared about me. But now I’m just a cog in the wheel of his bigger plan. He’s ended up being very authoritarian, despite all our work, and he seems bent on persecuting me for some reason. I agree with the movement, theoretically, but I didn’t think it would be so extreme, so cruel and inhumane. It worries me. I can’t predict what he’ll do.
What does it do for your life if you succeed here?
I will be reunited with my daughter and get a grandchild and live, once again, in a free land. Even if I have nothing.
Why do you believe in Socialism?
Because it’s caring and compassionate – or that’s what I thought. It’s humane, takes care of everyone no matter their color, race, gender, age, etc. It takes from the rich who have more than they need and gives to the poor, who have nothing — in an effort to achieve true equality. It values the community, the group, rather than the selfish individual.
Interview with Sandy, the Antagonist
Tell me about yourself.
I used to be lost but now I’ve found my calling. I struggled with my identity, politics, school, relationships – now I’m a deputy commandant and have a clear goal: break down society and create a new one. It makes me feel so powerful and purposeful.
Having to do with this journey, what are your strengths and weaknesses?
I am focused and determined, single minded, can’t be dissuaded. Except that Fran may try to confuse me with her psycho babble, like she did last year. But I’m not going to fall for it. I will cut her off or get rid of her, if I have to.
Why are you committed to making the Protagonist fail?
She threatens the system and all we believe in. I thought she could be trusted but now she’s all for saving her daughter – who we cannot let have her baby. No more white people allowed in the population. She’s selfish and we can’t tolerate people thinking of themselves and not the larger group.
What do you get out of winning this fight? Succeeding in your plan/taking down your competition?
Will be promoted to commandant if my farm resettlement works. My future is at stake.
What drives you toward your mission/agenda even in the face of danger, ruin or death?
We must prove this experiment a success. It’s our only chance to save society. Plus, they’ll kill me if I fail.
What secrets must you keep to succeed? What other secrets do you keep out of fear/insecurity?
1) The plan to eliminate all white people.
2) Worry people will rise up and destroy me and ruin everything.
Compared to other people like you, what makes you special?
I’m ready to give my life for the cause. I don’t know if others are that committed.
What do you think of Fran?
She’s an entitled bitch who mouths Socialist platitudes but won’t be able to live it. She tried to talk me out of my trans identity so I hate her for that.
Tell me your side of this whole conflict/story.
Socialism isn’t enough. We need all-out Communism to bring true equality. Those who HAVE need to give to those who DON’T HAVE. It’s only fair and we need to make it happen by reforming our social system, no matter how many people have to be sacrificed in the process.
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Kathi’s Character Profile Part 2
Fran, the Protagonist
What draws us to this character?
She’s well-meaning, humanistic even as she’s gullible and naïve. Because this is a comedy we need to care about her but also be able to laugh at her.
Traits:
Naïve/gullible
Self-centered
Big hearted
Pacifist
Subtext:
Falls back on quoting Saul Alinsky though she’s not sure what it means.
Flaw:
Easily influenced by others
Values:
Equality
Generosity
Idealism
Love
Irony:
Has a bad temper and violent streak though she’s a pacifist
What makes this character right for this role?
Because she’s African American and liberal and should be protected by the new government, she’s the perfect foil for the extreme treatment she actually gets.
Sandy, the Antagonist
What draws us to this character?
They are so passionate and committed to the revolution…will they be able to make it happen, succeed, continue to believe in it?
Traits:
Obedient
Fanatical & principled
Cruel
Confident (know it all)
Flaw:
Overconfident
Subtext: Insults people to cover his ignorance or insecurity
Values:
Revolutionary
Equality
Strength through power
Irony:
Even though they are a minority, they can’t break the rules and defend other minorities – instead they follow the rules of the new government. But it creates a small crack, perhaps.
What makes this person right for the role?
Again, because this is a comedy, it calls for someone who is fanatically dedicated, almost in a cartoon way, so we (or the Protagonist) can tear them down eventually.
What I learned doing this assignment? The more you probe these questions about character, the clearer a picture you get as to who these people are.
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30 DAY SCREENWRITING CLASS – Lesson 2
Type of role Protagonist plays & how they will fulfill that role.
Victim: Fran will become a victim of the new government and has to fight to escape and save her daughter form the antagonist.
Type of role Antagonist plays & how they will fulfill that role.
Authority: Sandy follows rules, has to meet deadlines, believes metrics even if dubious or outright wrong. Sees the word in black/white even if everything is in gray.
What other characters might be necessary?
Supporting characters: best friend, daughter, ex-husband
Minor role: daughter’s boyfriend
Background characters: workers at the farm, residents who take over her home in suburbia
Pick your genre:
Comedy (satire/ dark comedy)
Lead Character Profiles:
Protagonist: Fran
Role in the story: Heroine
Age range and Description: late 50’s/early 60’s, slightly overweight, African/American, suburban Socialist, retired social worker or therapist, divorced, white husband supports her through business buyout, former hippie, vegetarian, anti-gun, pro-choice, hates conservatives
Internal journey: passive to aggressive
Enneagram: Giver/Helper, possessive, generous, people-pleasing, fear being unloved and unwanted; doesn’t acknowledge own needs
External journey: Accommodating liberal to activist libertarian
Motivation: to save daughter and grandchild (love) – escape to other state
Wound: Held up at church by gun-toting druggie but saved because he died. Hates guns as a consequence.
Mission/Agenda: Escape from farm, rescue daughter and flee to other state.
Secret: Was a hunter as a child OR tried to abort daughter but went awry (forced into birth by evangelicals)
What makes them special? Complete pacifist – wouldn’t hurt a fly, an animal a person.
Antagonist: Sandy
Role in the story: Cadre commander who wants to prove “they” are up to imposing cultural revolution and equity.
Age range and Description: mid to late 20’s, thin, white, trans, asexual, spiteful, cruel, heavily tattoed, dresses in all black.
Enneagram: Perfectionist, fastidious, afraid of making mistakes, critical, resentful and impatient.
Internal Journey: from weak to strong
External journey: from neophyte revolutionary to proven commandant
Motivation: power play/control through suffering
Wound: Mother disowned “them”
Mission: Confiscate homes in suburbia, resettle inhabitants to farm and impose re-education and hard labor – resettle illegal aliens to suburbia
Secret: Afraid of blood? Went to a military school? Was a computer nerd at school?
What makes them special: Shows no emotion. Sociopath.
What I learned doing assignment: Moving forward even if you’re unsure of what you’ve come up with gives you something to work with.
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Who is your Hero and what is their Character Arc that represents a transformation?
Fran is a former hippie suburbanite who’s come to believe she’s a Socialist, like her best friend. She supports most progressive causes, like anti-gun and pro-choice issues. She has a comfortable life that she worked hard for but her friend makes her feel guilty for what she has, especially compared to those who don’t have much. When the new government imposes its own version of the Chinese Cultural Revolution, confiscates her home and resettles her to a farm for reeducation and hard labor, she sees the true impact of these theoretical beliefs she’s bought into so complacently. When she finds out her daughter (separated and living in an adjacent area) is pregnant but the government is going to force an abortion, she becomes an outlaw and combatant and raises up arms to save her future grandchild.
Internal journey: From passive and reluctant to assertive and decisive.
External Journey: From a mere talker to someone who takes action into her own hands.
Old Ways: Fran starts out:
A follower, deferring to her friend who mouths the Socialist philosophy
Like her friend, excoriating those who disagree with this philosophy
Fearful
Compliant
Weak
New Ways: Fran ends up:
Courageous
Willing to fight for her family, despite it going against her earlier values and beliefs
Open to different views of what the truth is
Independent
Strong
What I learned. The path is more clear cut when you set up opposites in terms of your Hero’s internal and external journeys.
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Hi Cheryl, I thought I’d replied and sent my assignment for Day 1 but I don’t see it here. Did it come through? I like to print out my responses to keep in my notebook so if there’s an easy way to do this please advise. Thanks, Kathi
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Hi, my name is Kathi Wahed
I’ve written 9 scripts.
I’m hoping to complete the first draft of a new screenplay, and generally get me back into the writing process again.
I was 2nd in the nation in swimming backstroke when I was 10. Never made it to 1st but am still swimming 🙂
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Kathi Wahed
I agree to the terms of this release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.