Kathryn Ekblad
Forum Replies Created
-
Kathryn misdirects
I learned that I had another opportunity for a false villain in the incumbent.
Misdirected clues added:
The good Dr. is friends with the current President.
The clinic was funded by an organization the President’s wife started.
When the good Dr dies the President disappears.
The President has the same monitoring watch as Max.
The President approaches Emily privately about reopening the clinic.
The President steps down before his loss is called.
-
Kathryn Gives Great Clues
I learned that I had actually been doing this all along, which is a good thing, I hope 🙂
STRUCTURE FOR MR & MRS AMERCIA
OPENING:
-Max visits his wife’s grave, then gets a call from her, on the watch she gave him!
Mass of people come to campaign rally, and drop down dead!
-will the ambulance come in time?
wife is in the crowd! Can he get to her?
-Dr. S says he’ll take care of her, but she leaves alone
-Emily goes home—plugs herself in, and is fine! Says he’ll be a great president
-people are getting sick right and left, linked to an uncontrolled viral infection
-when people go home, Alexa’s are effected, etc.
-virus came from good dr.’s lab
Max’s campaign manager is staunch
-Emily can’t remember details prior to cancer, he goes to meet her at a restaurant and she isn’t there. Max goes to his wife’s grave
-people are seemingly better after a week
-Good Dr. demands investigation into why, says he received a death threat
-Good Dr. Only uses AI staff, for safety with a hazmat suit
-Main “human party” candidate becomes the front runner
-Max is threatened by the opponent
-Max’s car is tailed the night of the announcement
INCITING INCIDENT: Max gets in a car crash.
-the funeral for the drunk driver has no attendees, but Dr. S, man was a war vet/amputee
-wakes up with/comforted by Emily, flashing lights, no memory; (Emily is in a Dr.’s coat—maybe flash to this later)
-rehab clinic is very secretive
-the rehab building is half blocked off for “construction”
-Pres uses rehab clinic alongside prosthetic uses with AI limbs
-good Dr can’t fix his headaches
-Dr. S treats his pounding headaches
-the front runner dies (of the virus)
-(Original Emily was a physical therapist)
-campaign manager has a sick daughter, Max tells him the truth about Emily in private
-everyone who was treated is banned from voting…possibly anyone to come into contact with them
-cancer research center is shut down by investigators
-clinic has been funded by the opposing party
-target physical therapists for virus
-leaked to the press that Emily is AI, he denies
his house is targeted, and the clinic, death threats
Campaign manager meet the Dr., hands him paperwork,
TURNING POINT 1: Emily is arrested.
Max prepares to resign,
-alter voting polls, polls sky-rocket
-people get virus passports, all people who’ve been sick, vote one way!
Emily is having an affair with Dr. S
-Emily is the only person who’s worked there before, and after: show’s Max good Dr.’s work
-Pres finds surveillance attached to his watch
-Dr. S tells him The virus Emily died of is the mother of the ones killing everyone
he misses a check up and is followed
Max becomes president
-virus has mutated since used on original Emily
-Max finds a note in Emily’s diary (that he keeps himself) saying she was in a car accident but remembers nothing, and that her arm is sore, and she found a sticker with a number
-virus injection site is the arm!
-Good Dr is murdered
-the drunk driver was Emily’s first patient, after her death
-Dr. S finds viral map in Good Dr’s office
-Pres says anyone found supporting AI will be thrown in jail (or Max does?)
Max pulls over car following him—
-there is no one in the car following him
-car is run by AI
Max leaves his “watch” in his car, then goes back in—he sees Emily put a body in the car?
-the man was in rehab with him!
-Max looks at the man’s DL
-the man voted for him!
-car blows up
-As the man passes out, he says he hates the man for running against AI
-Max runs the DL, the man has no family
Emily and Max standing in street—shooter aims at Max, Emily throws herself on them, they hug—who is shot
Emily calls AI ambulance, she is shot, fixes herself
-they have to go to the lab, the ambulance is tracked
MIDPOINT: Max’s brain is in a robot body.
-he goes underground, under wife’s grave, to lab
-there is a crematorium in the lab
-He takes some ash to run for DNA
He is threatened with a Supreme Court case
-Max sees the same man from the crash in the crowd!
-All the AI PT’s had previous lives with no family, and, all know voted for him
-The ash was the same DNA as one of the “living” AI”s! -The original woman was dying of cancer, and treated the same time as Emily.
TURNING POINT 2: The brain is dying, Max collapses during state of the union.
-Max’s headaches make him blackout, Emily gives him a reboot, takes herself off the grid
-Max has extreme clarity, then everything goes black
-Dr. S comes to treat Pres right away himself and Emily refuses
-the person in the car crash was reported dead two months earlier
Dr turns Emily off, but she is off the grid—he sends all workers to locate her
-Dr. S says he can reverse the decline, apologies for Emily, and will shut her off
Emily breaks into code room with master controls
-Emily finds a missing vile, and sticks it in her pocket (matching number)
Dr. is about to administer life saving operation
AI turn on Dr S
-Emily infects the Dr and changes his “profile” with someone else
CLIMAX: Emily kills Dr. S and tells Max to turn her off.
-the Dr “kills himself”
-power in the clinic goes out. Dr. is dead, everyone else (except Emily) is “off”
-Emily tells the Pres his brain is in the body of a robot, but it’s dying, he has a choice, does he become full AI or die?
-Emily turns off the master controls, shows they were controlled by Dr. S
AI wait to see if Max will keep them alive
RESOLUTION: Max decides to become a full robot. Address the public as if he were human and funds the viral research. “the people are safe”
-Max sends politicians with virus to health conference w/officials in…Russia?
-
Kathryn’s reveals
I learned the reveals themselves needed to be much more exciting. I also learned that places I thought were separate mysteries were clues from connecting mystery chains.
1)Mystery: Why didn’t the people show up to the rally?
suspense: people at the rally are falling down, seemingly dead!
intrigue: are these people okay?
suspense: will enough ambulances come in time?
reveal: they are getting sick with a virus
2)Why can’t Emily remember their anniversary?
Why wasn’t his wife with him?
intrigue: is the same thing wrong with her?
suspense: can he get to his wife through the crowd? Can he save her?
intrigue: why is she different?
reveal: She gets better after plugging herself into the outlet!
reveal: Emily is a robot!
3)What is making everyone sick?
reveal: a virus, that affects their technology! Their lights go out, Alexa’s talk, etc.
intrigue: was this engineered?
4)Where did this virus come from?
intrigue: people are sick for one week, then seemingly fine.
intrigue: Why does Max think the good dr can help?
intrigue: voting polls change, can it be related?
intrigue: they are changing in Max’s favor, is he being framed?
5)Who is the real Emily?
reveal: His wife died of cancer
6)Who is following Max?
reveal: Emily has put a tracking device in his anniversary watch!
7)Why doesn’t the other driver have any family?
intrigue: Dr. S is the only one at the funeral.
reveal: He’s been dead for two months!
8)Where is Max being taken?
intrigue: other paraplegics around him using “fake” limbs.
intrigue: inexplicable headaches, his Dr can’t treat—but Dr S can!
reveal: the equipment is really teaching his brain to work with a robot body!
9) Was the front funner murdered?
intrigue: Emily says he’ll be a great pres!
reveal: Dr. S’s plan is to get Max into the white house!
10) What is changing the voting pattern?
reveal: the virus is programed to change voting!
11) Does the opposing party have something to do with this?
Intrigue: opposing party funded rehab clinic
intrigue: Emily is the only one who had worked there the whole time
reveal: Emily is under master control of Dr. S!
12) Why were physical therapists the first one’s to get infected?
Intrigue: The good doc uses AI staff so they won’t get infected.
reveal: All the PI’s are AI!
13) Will Max resign?
suspense: Emily is targeted
suspense: Max is in a car crash:
suspense: Max is followed
intrigue: Emily is tracking Max
intrigue: Max is in a robot body, and his brain is dying!
reveal: Max has Emily make him a full on robot and addresses the audience as if he were human!
14) What does Emily have to do with the virus?
intrigue: Emily is able to overcome the “illness” with an outdate
intrigue: Emily can do the update herself
intrigue: the virus is the same as the one used to treat the original Emily!
intrigue: the virus mutated since Emily first used it.
intrigue: Dr. S has Emily’s file under-proto-type
reveal: original Emily was murdered!!
15) How did the good dr get sick?
intrigue: the virus he used mutated!
intrigue: the virus was controlled, but is now spreading!
intrigue: He only works with AI, and only under a hazmat suit.
suspense: The dr received a death threat to shut down his work!
intrigue: a vial is missing from the collection
intrigue: viral maps are found in the good Doc’s office
intrigue: Emily can access the viral maps
reveal: the viral maps are controlled by Dr. S
reveal: the dr was murdered by Dr. S
16) What is Emily’s link to the drunk driver?
intrigue: Dr. S is the only one at the funeral
intrigue: Emily is having an affair with Dr S
intrigue: there is no one in the car following Max
intrigue: Emily is seen walking away from the car, with a body now in it!
reveal: Emily is perpetrating these heinous acts!
17) Why is there no one in the car following him?
intrigue: the car is run by AI
intrigue: the new “body” was a man with no family.
intrigue: there is a crematorium in the lab!
intrigue: the man was in the rehab with him, but does not remember!
intrigue: the man voted for him, but isn’t like his normal voter profile!
intrigue: the man is back out on the street, with splotchy memory!
reveal: people are being murdered and turned into AI versions of themselves!
18) Why isn’t Max bleeding?
suspense: Emily covers Max with her body!
Mystery/suspense: Which one of them is shot!!!
Mystery: Is Emily genuinely trying to save him or does she have an ulterior motive?
suspense: will she be attacked or shut off if the crowd discovers she is AI?
suspense: Will Max be thrown in jail?
intrigue: Emily can heal herself
reveal: Emily took the bullet so that Max (and the world!) wouldn’t find out he’s in a robot body!
19) Will the reboot save or hurt him?
suspense: Max has extreme clarity…and then everything starts going black!
reveal: His decline has sped up!
20) Why does Emily go off the grid?
suspense: Dr. S has all the AI try and track her, to shut her down!
intrigue: Dr. S can reverse the sped up decline!
suspense: Emily is captured by Dr. S!
intrigue: the AI turn on Dr S
intrigue: Emily shut off the master controls!
intrigue: Max’s head clears
suspense: Emily kills Dr. S!
intrigue: Emily takes Max to the master controls…where dr s had his plans
reveal: Dr S wants to turn all the people infected by the virus in AI and they have a year to live!
-
Kathryn’s Trust Relationships
What I learned: what a major breakthrough this lesson was!!!! This lesson took my three hours and was well worth every minute. I learned that alternating trust and distrust works so much better in terms of intrigue, and keeping the audience on their toes than what I had–which was mostly one way then a switch. I moved scenes around, added scenes, took out scenes and changed the trust/distrust in existing scenes. I also learned I have to change the midpoint to save a reveal for later, but I haven’t done that yet. I am very excited.
Hero: Max
Villain: Dr. S
Red Herring Character: Emily
Trusted, but shouldn’t be: Dr. S
Isn’t trusted, but should be: Good Dr.
MAX/ DR. S:
Trust: Dr. S takes care of Emily when she’s ill.
Distrust: Dr. S is the only one at the car crash funeral
– Trust: Dr. comes right away to treat his headaches
Distrust: Emily is having an affair with Dr. S
Trust: he leaks info about the good dr.’s virus killing the original Emily
Distrust: the Good Dr. is murdered
Trust: Dr. S finds the viral map in the good dr.’s office
– Distrust: person from car crash reported dead 2 months earlier
Trust: Dr. is about to administer life saving procedure
MAX/EMILY:
– Distrust: Emily can’t be at the opening
-Trust: Emily is first person by his side after accident
Distrust: Emily is having an affair
Trust: Emily shows him the good dr.’s work
-Distrust: surveillance on the watch she gave him
– Trust: Emily tries to take the bullet herself
-Distrust: drunk driver was Emily’s first patient
-Trust: Emily breaks code into private room with master viral controls
Distrust: Emily kills Dr. S
– Trust: Emily turns off the master controls
MAX/GOOD DR.
distrust: virus came from his lab
trust: good dr leads investigation into why the virus has mutated
distrust: virus killed Emily was the same!
trust: good dr is murdered
distrust: viral map in good dr office
trust: viral map is controlled by Dr. S
STRUCTURE FOR MR & MRS AMERCIA
OPENING: Mass of people don’t show up to campaign rally, all have fevers
-night of opening debate his wife is ill and can’t be there, Dr. S takes care of her
-people are getting sick right and left, linked to an uncontrolled viral infection
-virus came from good dr.’s lab
Max’s campaign manager is staunch
-Emily can’t remember details prior to cancer, he goes to meet her at a restaurant and she isn’t there. Max goes to his wife’s grave
-Good Dr. demands investigation into why
-Main “human party” candidate becomes the front runner
-Max is threatened by the opponent
-Max’s car is tailed the night of the announcement
INCITING INCIDENT: Max gets in a car crash.
-the funeral for the drunk driver has no attendees, but Dr. S, man was a war vet/amputee
-wakes up with/comforted by Emily, flashing lights, no memory; (Emily is in a Dr.’s coat—maybe flash to this later)
-rehab clinic is very secretive
-the rehab building is half blocked off for “construction”
-Pres uses rehab clinic alongside prosthetic uses with AI limbs
-Dr. S treats his pounding headaches
-the front runner dies (of the virus)
-(Original Emily was a physical therapist)
-campaign manager has a sick daughter, Max tells him the truth about Emily in private
-everyone who was treated is banned from voting…possibly anyone to come into contact with them
-cancer research center is shut down by investigators
-clinic has been funded by the opposing party
-target physical therapists for virus
-leaked to the press that Emily is AI, he denies
his house is targeted, and the clinic, death threats
Campaign manager meet the Dr., hands him paperwork,
TURNING POINT 1: Emily is arrested.
Max prepares to resign,
-alter voting polls, polls sky-rocket
Emily begs him to stop investigating the virus
-people get virus passports
Emily is having an affair with Dr. S
-Emily is the only person who’s worked there before, and after: show’s Max good Dr.’s work
-Pres finds surveillance attached to his watch
-Dr. S tells him The virus Emily died of is the mother of the ones killing everyone
he misses a check up and is followed
Max becomes president
-Good Dr is murdered
-the drunk driver was Emily’s first patient, after her death
-Dr. S finds viral map in Good Dr’s office
Max pulls over car following him—
-there is no one in the car following him, car blows up
Max leaves his “watch” in his car, then goes back in—he sees Emily put a body in the car?
-Emily is shot, insists he take her to the lab to fix herself
MIDPOINT: Max’s brain is in a robot body.
-he goes underground, under wife’s grave, to lab
-there is a crematorium in the lab
He is threatened with a Supreme Court case
-Max’s headaches make him blackout, Emily gives him a reboot, takes herself off the grid
TURNING POINT 2: The brain is dying, Max collapses during state of the union.
-Dr. S comes to treat Pres right away himself and Emily refuses
-the person in the car crash was reported dead two months earlier
Dr turns Emily off, but she is off the grid—he sends all workers to locate her
Emily breaks into code room with master controls
Dr. is about to administer life saving operation
-Emily infects the Dr and changes his “profile” with someone else
CLIMAX: Emily kills Dr. S and tells Max to turn her off.
-the Dr “kills himself”
-power in the clinic goes out. Dr. is dead, everyone else (except Emily) is “off”
-Emily tells the Pres his brain is in the body of a robot, but it’s dying, he has a choice, does he become full AI or die?
-Emily turns off the master controls, shows they were controlled by Dr. S
RESOLUTION: Max decides to become a full robot. Address the public as if he were human and funds the viral research. “the people are safe”
-Max sends politicians with virus to health conference w/officials in…Russia?
-
Kathryn’s Twists and Turns
I learned an awesome tool to make scenes more intriguing before they are even written. I also learned I had not at all been thinking about this script from a scene level.
STRUCTURE FOR MR & MRS AMERCIA
OPENING: Mass of people don’t show up to campaign rally, all have fevers
-night of opening debate his wife is ill and can’t be there
-the President has terrible headaches
-people are getting sick right and left, linked to an uncontrolled viral infection
Max’s campaign manager is staunch
-Emily can’t remember details prior to cancer, he goes to meet her at a restaurant and she isn’t there. Max goes to his wife’s grave
-the “good Dr.” demands investigation into why
-Main “human party” candidate becomes the front runner
-Max is threatened by the opponent
-Max’s car is tailed the night of the announcement
INCITING INCIDENT: Max gets in a car crash.
-the funeral for the drunk driver has no attendees, but Dr. S, man was a war vet/amputee
-wakes up with Emily, flashing lights, no memory; Emily is in a Dr.’s coat
-rehab clinic is very secretive
-the rehab building is half blocked off for “construction”
-Pres uses rehab clinic alongside prosthetic uses with AI limbs
-the front runner dies (of the virus)
-(Original Emily was a physical therapist)
-Emily is the only person who’s worked there before, and after
-campaign manager has a sick daughter, Max tells him the truth about Emily in private
-everyone who was treated is banned from voting…possibly anyone to come into contact with them
-Emily shuts down cancer research to make the whole clinic rehab
-clinic has been funded by the opposing party
-target physical therapists for virus
-leaked to the press that Emily is AI, he denies
his house is targeted, and the clinic, death threats
Campaign manager meet the Dr., hands him paperwork,
-good Dr. dies–by his own virus
TURNING POINT 1: Emily is arrested.
Max prepares to resign,
-alter voting polls, polls sky-rocket
Emily begs him to stop investigating the virus
-people get virus passports
Emily is having an affair with Dr. S
-Pres finds surveillance attached to his watch
he misses a check up and is followed
-The virus Emily died of is the mother of the ones killing everyone
Max becomes president
-(the Dr. links Emily, then dies)
MIDPOINT: Max’s brain is in a robot body.
Max pulls over car following him—
-there is no one in the car following him, car blows up
-the person in the car crash was reported dead two months earlier
Max leaves his “watch” in his car, then goes back in—he sees Emily put a body in the car?
-Emily is shot, insists he take her to the lab to fix herself
-he goes underground, under wife’s grave, to lab
-there is a crematorium in the lab
He is threatened with a Supreme Court case
-the drunk driver was Emily’s first patient, after her death
-Max’s headaches make him blackout, Emily gives him a reboot, takes herself off the grid
TURNING POINT 2: The brain is dying, Max collapses during state of the union.
-Dr. S comes to treat Pres himself and Emily refuses
Dr turns Emily off, but she is off the grid—he sends all workers to locate her
-Max is kidnapped and tied to a machine
-Emily infects the Dr and changes his “profile” with someone else
CLIMAX: Emily kills Dr. S and tells Max to turn her off.
-the Dr “kills himself”
-power in the clinic goes out. Dr. is dead, everyone else (except Emily) is “off”
-Emily tells the Pres his brain is in the body of a robot, but it’s dying, he has a choice, does he become full AI or die?
RESOLUTION: Max decides to become a full robot. Address the public as if he were human and funds the viral research. “the people are safe”
-Max sends politicians with virus to health conference w/officials in…Russia?
-
Kathryn’s Thriller Plot!
I learned that story can be built from responding to a villain’s plan!
STRUCTURE FOR MR & MRS AMERCIA
OPENING: Good doctor is killed, evidence of engineered virus in his lab
-wife convinces him to run
-the President has terrible headaches
-people are getting sick right and left, linked to an uncontrolled viral infection
Max announces his running
-Emily can’t remember details prior to cancer
-the “good Dr.” demands investigation into why
-Main “human party” candidate becomes the front runner
-Max is threatened by the opponent
-Max’s car is tailed the night of the announcement
INCITING INCIDENT: Max gets in a car crash.
-the funeral for the drunk driver has no attendees, but Dr. S
-wakes up with Emily, flashing lights, no memory
-rehab clinic is very secretive
-the rehab building is half blocked off for “construction”
-Pres uses rehab clinic alongside prosthetic uses with AI limbs
-the front runner dies (of the virus)
-Emily is the only person who’s worked there before, and after
-everyone who was treated is banned from voting…possibly anyone to come into contact with them
-(Original Emily was a physical therapist)
-Emily shuts down cancer research to make the whole clinic rehab
-clinic has been funded by the opposing party
-target physical therapists for virus
-leaked to the press that Emily is AI, he denies
his house is targeted, and the clinic, death threats
-good Dr. dies–by his own virus
TURNING POINT 1: Emily is arrested.
-alter voting polls
Emily begs him to stop investigating the virus
Emily is having an affair with Dr. S
-Pres finds surveillance attached to his watch
he misses a check up and is followed
-The virus Emily died of is the mother of the ones killing everyone
-(the Dr. links Emily, then dies)
MIDPOINT: Max’s brain is in a robot body.
-there is no one in the car following him
-the person in the car crash was reported dead two months earlier
-there is a crematorium in the lab
-Emily is shot
He is threatened with a Supreme Court case
-the drunk driver was Emily’s first patient, after her death
TURNING POINT 2: The brain is dying, Max collapses during state of the union.
-Dr. S comes to treat Pres himself and Emily refuses
-Max is kidnapped and tied to a machine
-Emily infects the Dr and changes his “profile” with someone else
CLIMAX: Emily kills Dr. S and tells Max to turn her off.
-the Dr “kills himself”
-power in the clinic goes out. Dr. is dead, everyone else (except Emily) is “off”
-Emily tells the Pres his brain is in the body of a robot, but it’s dying, he has a choice, does he become full AI or die?
RESOLUTION: Max decides to become a full robot. Address the public as if he were human and funds the viral research.
-
Kathryn’s life threatening sequence
I learned that I had a bunch of places for potential danger that I hadn’t yet explored before this assignment. This took scenarios I had and made them way more exciting.
-Max is threatened by the opponent
-Max’s car is tailed the night of the announcement
-he gets into an accident he doesn’t see coming
-wakes up with Emily, flashing lights, no memory
-the front runner dies
-leaked to the press that Emily is AI, he denies
-his house is targeted, and the clinic, death threats
-he gets personal security, which are all AI
-good Dr. dies–by his own virus
-Emily begs him to stop investigating the virus
-Emily is having an affair with Dr. S
-Pres finds surveillance attached to his watch
-he misses a check up and is followed
-there is no one in the car following him
-Emily is shot
-He is threatened with a Supreme Court case
-Max is kidnapped and tied to a machine
-power in the clinic goes out. Dr. is dead, everyone else (except Emily) is “off”
-
Kathryn’s Mystery Sequence
I learned how to build A TON of escalating mystery around one main secret. This was mind blowing for me.
The big secret: Dr. S killed the Pres and made him an AI.
Sequence 1: Why are people’s voting patterns changing?
-people are getting sick right and left, linked to an uncontrolled viral infection
-the “good Dr.” demands investigation into why
-the good Dr. dies, of his own mutation of the virus
-no one else is dying…yet
-Main “human party” candidate becomes the front runner
-everyone who was treated is banned from voting…possibly anyone to come into contact with them
-front runner dies…of the virus
Sequences 2/3: Dr. and the Clinic/What is Emily hiding: Red Herring Sequences
-rehab clinic is very secretive
-Emily is the only person who’s worked there before, and after
-clinic has been funded by the opposing party
-Emily shuts down cancer research to make the whole clinic rehab
-Pres uses rehab clinic alongside prosthetic uses with AI limbs
-(Original Emily was a physical therapist)
-Emily can’t remember details prior to cancer
-The virus Emily died of is the mother of the ones killing everyone
-(the Dr. links Emily, then dies)
-there is a crematorium in the lab
-Emily is shot and there is no blood
Sequence 4: The President is AI
-President is hit by a drunk driver the night of announcing his candidacy
-the President has terrible headaches
-the funeral for the drunk driver has no attendees, but Dr. S
-the person in the car crash was reported dead two months earlier
-the rehab building is half blocked off for “construction”
-the drunk driver was Emily’s first patient, after her death
-mid-acceptance speech Pres collapses
-Dr. S comes to treat Pres himself and Emily refuses
-Emily infects the Dr and changes his “profile” with someone else
-the Dr “kills himself”
-Emily tells the Pres his brain is in the body of a robot, but it’s dying, he has a choice, does he become full AI or die?
-
Kathryn’s SOTL Stacking Suspense
Things I learned:
Bill is a mystery, but not as great a mystery as Hannibal.
Clarice’s desire for job placement is what gives her visible stacks from the top of the movie, before we learn about her past.
We are already in great anticipation of Hannibal before he enters because of what is said about him by others.
Dr. Chilton is incredibly intriguing. In his intro he doesn’t get what he wants and there is major tension with that. It sets up an arc that runs to the last scene in the movie.
All the intrigue is coming from character!
Hannibal is dangerous not only from his past, but while he is captive–he talks Miggs to death!
So much mystery in Act 1.
<font face=”inherit”>At the Act 1 turning point a new live victim is taken, </font>and<font face=”inherit”> this is the driving action of Acts 2 and 3.</font>
<font face=”inherit”>The clues are very clear. We close up on the pen, then the pen missing, which is mentioned. I’m possible to miss the set up.</font>
<font face=”inherit”>A pending life is tremendous suspense.</font>
<font face=”inherit”>Act 1 is mystery heavy and Act’s 2 and 3 are suspense heavy.</font>
<font face=”inherit”>At the top of Act 3, we think we have Buffalo Bill.</font>
<font face=”inherit”>The layout of the scene sequence that leads to Clarice being at the right house is AMAZING!</font>
<font face=”inherit”>Catherine’s screams in the climax are Clarice’s worst nightmare.</font>
-
Kathryn’s BI Stacking Suspense
Things I learned:
THE MYSTERY to be solved in the movie was introduced in the first scene, and remained until the last frame of the movie. I could rewrite that line over and over.
Meeting Roxy before Catherine was intriguing. The entire character of Roxy served to add nothing but intrigue in every scene that she was in. Some scenes she was in may have even been a little too flat without her. She was not one of the main three characters, but she really added to the story, straight through to things we learn about her after she dies.
We meet all five major characters in the first 15 mins.
By the 15 min mark, Catherine seems like a slam dunk for the villain. This is interesting, because I would have been inclined to save this feeling for another 15 mins, but the intrigue of this movie holds nothing back.
by 20 mins, Catherine and Nick are clearly the only people who could get to each other. Amazing Protag/Antag set up.
Every scene uses mystery to move the plot forward. We are solving the mysteries of the past while future crimes are being set up. The intrigue moves both ways in time simultaneously with stopping the drive, action and momentum.
min 57, Nick is in the same seat Catherine was in! What amazing irony!
min 1:24, money was taken out months before he met Catherine–this is the first time we start believe her possible innocence. All of Act 2 was against her, and now in Act three, we start to root for her.
by min 1:41 we are torn in evidence as to which one of them killed Boaz–or anyone else!
The second most amazing thing to me (aside from the first sentence I wrote) is that Nick has a character development in reverse, it is all falling action. He is clean when we meet him, only goes straight down. The movie is a story of his undoing, not of overcoming.
-
Kathryn’s World And Characters!
I learned that I needed to create a lot of mystery to really allow myself the freedom to discover, and now, I might need to thin some out.
Concept: An American Senator is running for President on the platform to shut off all AI, only after he is sworn in does he discover that his wife (an AI he was hiding) has murdered him and put his brain in the body of a robot.
Big MIS
M: How advanced is AI now? Can they live and reproduce without humans?
I: The Doctor wants to get an AI into the white house to lead his own AI revolution.
S: Will Max be killed, will an AI become president? Will all humans be controlled by AI and ultimately deemed unnecessary?
Intriguing World:
The election of a president through the controlling powerful world of a super genius engineer of AI.
Hero: Max
M: How is he so physically capable? Why doesn’t he remember his first date with his wife? How does he recover so quickly after being shot?
I: He has pictures, letters, etc from his wife in a hidden place not even she can get to them.
S: Will he figure out who is out to get him and how to beat them and the system before he is killed and the US is run by AI?
Red Herring: Emily (Max’s wife)
M: Why doesn’t she remember the beginning of their relationship? Why is she nervous about him running for president? What is her relationship with the Dr? Who’s side is she on?
I: She is not human, but a cloned robot, controlled by the Dr, and she wants freedom.
S: Will she be turned off? Can she get Max to let go of his past?
Villain: Dr. S
M: How is he going to get AI in the white house?
I: He is using all AI to control the human world, and now AI can mate with humans to make a new “AI/human baby”.
S: <font face=”inherit”>If he </font>succeeds,<font face=”inherit”> AI will have more power than humans, and he will be in control of it all.</font>
-
What I learned is allowing myself to not know the answer allowed space for possible answers to come.
Logline: An American senator is running for president on the campaign promise to shut down all AI humans, but only after he is sworn in does he realize his wife (an AI he was hiding) has murdered him and put his brain in the body of a robot.
Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: Max, running for president, voice of the people but cannot face the loss of his wife, empathetic with amazing (uber-human) ability to survive
Dangerous Villain: the genius doctor who wants AI in the white house to lead the AI revolution and end to human control, believes humans are less beautiful than his creations and he as the creator should have ultimate control.
High stakes: Max’s life, his wife’s life, the life of the doctor, and the future of human freedom.
Life and death situations: opening shooting, planned assassination of his wife which she finds out about, his “death” when he tries to defend her, the doctor trying to take over his brain, coming after him, ultimate battle with the doctor, innocent people being targeted and pitted against each other to prove they are inferior and get them out of the way.
This story is thrilling because? The hero believes he is the last hope, unknowing that he is actually what he is fighting against, and this might make him the strongest person to save humanity, or be the nail in the coffin.
2. Tell us the Big M.I.S. of your story?
Big Mystery: What is the main mystery of your story that will keep us wondering throughout the story? How advanced is AI now? Can they live and reproduce without humans?
Big Intrigue: What is the covert, clandestine, underhanded plot that will live under the surface for most of the movie? The Doctor wants to get an AI into the white house to lead his own AI revolution.
Big Suspense: What is the main danger to your Hero that will continue to escalate throughout the script? Will Max be killed, will an AI become president? Will his wife be turned off? Will all humans be controlled by AI and ultimately deemed unnecessary?
-
SELF-LESS Thriller Conventions
I learned how powerful it was to completely hide the villain’s plan until the midpoint.
Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: Damian (Ben Kingsley) is a NY tycoon dying of cancer and agrees to have his consciousness put it a body made in a lab. The body (Ryan Reynolds) was in the army and has excellent shooting/fighting skills, and Damian is sharp and will be manipulated by no one.
Dangerous Villain: The Doctor who engineered this whole thing to keep geniuses from dying.
High stakes: Damian’s life, Mark (the body)’s life, the lives of the little girl and woman Mark was married to, the life of the body the little boy of his friend took, the lives of future innocent people who will be murdered, the lives of the doctor’s staff and the life of the doctor.
Life and death situations: SOOO MANY! Damian agreeing to the procedure, the life of Mark (who’s body he’s in) the house on fire scene in St Louis, the confrontation scene in the Doctor’s old New Orlean’s house, car chase to his friend’s house, escaping his friend’s house, kidnapping in the woods, the final lab transfer, rescuing the girl and wife from storage, trapped in the control room, lighting the doctor on fire.
This movie is thrilling because? The villain’s plan is so vial, and the victim’s of it are everywhere–the hero himself isn’t the main concern, but the innocent lives he is fighting to save are tear jerking.
3. What is the BIG Mystery, Intrigue, and Suspense of this story?
Big Mystery: Where do the bodies come from for these procedures?
Big Intrigue: The Doctor is murdering healthy, young people to put rich intelligent, dying people into their bodies.
Big Suspense: Can Damian beat the doctor and choose to do the right thing and let himself die so that this amazing woman and her daughter can have their husband and father back?
-
Hi!
Kathryn Ekblad
I’ve written 6 features, one pilot and one stage play.
I want to get a great map, and subsequently, a thriller I am excited to market.
I used to be on off-broadway fight director and actress, and I am a published poet.
-
Kathryn Ekblad
I agree to the terms of this release form.