Kenneth Wood
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Ken Wood’s Horror Outline Version 1
With this process, one can enhance scenes with strong and well-paced, horror emotions. Knowing the emotions needed in each segment of the screenplay, one has clearer direction on how to set up and write the story to grow to a true and powerful climax.
Emotions for Map:
Apprehension, Surprise, and Shock
Fear, Suspense, and Dread.
Anguish, Panic, Horror, and Hysteria.
Horror Outline:
ACT 1
EXT. SHIPPING PORT, BRAZIL – DAY p.1
A CAPTAIN and four family CREWMEN finish loading an old cargo boat with bananas. One of the crew finds some SPIDER webbing and finds it is unusually sticky and tough. We see the leg of a large spider disappear into the banana shipment.
EXT. SHIPPING PORT, U.S.A – DAY p.1
DOCK
Surprise, and Shock: The old cargo boat slams into the dock, bounces and keeps slamming into the dock. The PORT SUPERVISOR and PORT ASSISTANT try to get the (Hysteria) hysterical Captain to turn off the engine to no avail.
Suspense, horror: Port Assistant goes down into the SLEEPING BIRTH, finds four Crewmen’s dead bodies, and is horrified.
Apprehension, suspense: Port Supervisor goes down into the ENGINE ROOM to turn off the engine.
Panic, horror: The Spider kills him. Port Assistant watches the death and is horrified again.
Release: The Captain comes and shuts the engine room hatch and locks the Spider in.
INT. PORT AUTHORITY OFFICE – CONTINUOUS p.7
The distraught Captain sits in a chair blurting out, in Portuguese, details of the deaths to state medical examiner KEATON and Port Assistant.
EXT. DOCK/BOAT – CONTINUOUS p.9
Apprehension: SHERIFF MAUER investigates and gives us a closer look at the dead Crewmen in the sleeping birth.
Panic, fear: He gets halfway down into the engine room when Keaton comes running warning that the killer Spider is still down there.
Shock/Surpirse: The Spider tries to catch him with a silk strand.
Release: The Sheriff has to cut the silk off of his pants to escape.
INT. ANTI-VENOM RESEARCH LAB – CONTINUOUS p.12
White light with a blurry, out-of-focus, dark thing suspended in air. A spider comes into focus. DR. REXY LAMBERT, arachnologist, and two lab assistants, REESE ROBBINS and CALI ANN NICHOLE are in a venom extraction process as Keaton’s call comes to Rexy to assist him in this “killer spider case”.
INT. MORGUE – DAY p.15
Keaton and Rexy must visit the CORONER to get a tissue sample from the deceased in order to identify the genus and species of the spider. This is a gross out moment. They identify similarities with the Phoneutria Feras , the most poisonous spider in the world, but also realize the venom and digestive juices are many times more toxic and corrosive.
INT. KEATON’S AUTOMOBILE – CONTINUOUS p.17
Driving. Rexy chatters away while Keaton drives. They talk about their former love lives and why they broke up. Rexy eludes to a deep dark secret, but does not divulge it to Keaton.
EXT. BOAT DOCK, PARKING LOT – DAY p.21
Keaton meets up with Rexy, who lugs a suitcase out of her vehicle and shuts the door. ATTICUS XANDERMAN, arachnologist from Brazil, mysteriously shows up and dispels any thought of killing the spider on sight, claiming the spider, while new, is a protected species.
Anxiety: Keaton gets on his stomach to peer into the dark engine room to see if he can spot the killer spider. With a flashlight he scans the room. There, at the foot of the steps, is the dead body of the Port Supervisor on the floor.
Surprise/Scare: Rexy shouts, “Careful!” Keaton jumps.
Keaton jumps.
Keaton:
I’m being careful. That doesn’t help.
Release: Keaton on edge, resumes his scan of the walls. Something moves close to his head. Keaton jerks his hand out. The flashlight gets knocked out of his hand and sputters out on the floor.
Fear: He takes out his cell phone and turns on its light, and carefully aims it where he saw the movement. This time he realizes that a wall-mounted coat rack’s shadow was what moved when his light went from right to left.
Release:
Keaton looks again.
Keaton
It’s just a sprinkler. I don’t see anything else. Come on. Let’s go down.
Dread: The three descend down the ladder stepping over the Port Supervisor’s body. Keaton carries a rope they will use to get the Port Supervisor’s body out.
They search around the entire engine, dreading that they could be attacked with little chance of escaping.
Fear: The three are unaware of the movement taking place in the leg of the Port Supervisor’s pants, but the audience sees it.
Release: Keaton ties one end of the rope around the Supervisor’s chest. They all go up the ladder and begin to pull. The body come part way, but a knife in a belt pouch gets caught on the ladder.
Anxiety: As the body is hoisted up, head first, the spider falls out of the pant leg and retreats into the shadows. Keaton volunteers to go back down and fix the problem.
Dread: As Keaton pulls down on the body, the rope starts slipping out of Rexy’s and Atticus’s hands.
Shock: The rope slips completely out of their hands. The body knocks Keaton to the ground. Keaton hits his head and the body pins him to the floor, arms and all. Keaton is dazed.
Dread: The Spider crawls out of the shadow for a second and retreats. Keaton, still in a daze and weak, tries to get his arms free.
Panic: He looks up to see the Spider has moved up on the body just above his head. The fangs of the Spider protrude and venom beads form on their tips. The Spider hisses and begins to attack.
Surprise/Shock: The metal clap of Rexy’s POLE NET snaps shut around the Spider’s body, an inch from Keaton’s nose.
Panic: The Spider rages like a hooked Marlin. She pulls it out of the hole.
Release: Keaton, with renewed adrenaline, gets his arms out, pushed the body off and hustles up to the top deck. They subdue it several sprays of CO2, causing it to relax and go to sleep. They decide to take it to the lab right away and start to leave.
Release:
Atticus asks about the body? Keaton tells him , “I’m turning that duty back over to the Sheriff.”
ACT 2
INT. UNIVERSITY ENTOMOLOGY WING – DAY p.32
Walking down the HALL to the ANTI_VENOM LABORATORY Atticus references the gruesome closeup poster-sized photos of Spider faces, calling it the Hall of Horrors (Another gross out moment).
INT. ANTI_VENOM LAB – DAY
Anxiety and Monster Reveal: We finally get to see the Spider in all its grotesque features.
When Reese and Cali Ann arrive, a venom extraction begins.
Dread: They sedate the Spider with CO2.
Shock and Surprise: Thinking it is enough, they start to lift out the spider from its encasement, only to have it strike at the tongs.
Apprehension: They sedate it some more and take it out of the encasement.
Fear and Dread: The extraction with simple stroking the fangs does not work. They must hook up a an electrical shock mechanism to get it to produce venom, and risk waking and angering the spider.
Release: The extraction works and they unhook the electrodes from the spider’s body…
Shock and Panic: …only to have it wake up with Cali Ann, the lab assistant, holding the tongs and the creature as it goes wild.
Surprise and Panic: Rexy, the instructor, freezes instead of helping Cali Ann.
Release: They manage to get the spider back in its encasement and secure the lid with a weight.
INT. UNIVERSITY HORSE STABLE – DAY p.43
Rexy takes the venom to JACK(60s), the HORSE BARN manager. Atticus goes with her and learns which horse, GEORGIE, is used to produce the anti-venom. We learn that Atticus is working for CIA Operatives who want the venom but absolutely no anti-venom. Atticus is there, not to help, but to get the Spider back at all costs.
INT. REXY’S CAR – CONTINUOUS p.45
A text message from Keaton pops up on her cell phone. DINNER? The “B” story of Keaton’s love interest is furthered.
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT p.45
Keaton finally gets Rexy to explain why she decided to not pursue a Pathology Degree with Keaton and, instead, transferred to another college to get a degree in Entomology. Rexy reveals she is the cause of her sister’s death at the fangs of a killer spider.
EXT. COUNTRY FARM – DAY p.47
Rexy describes, with an accompanying flashback, how she had purposely aggravated a MOTHER SPIDER with a rock.
Surprise and Shock: When sister, DARLA, pushes Rexy back, Rexy pushes Darla onto the egg sac. It bursts open and a thousand baby spiders being to swarm Darla, and the Mother Spider attacks her.
Panic: Rexy freezes.
Horror: Darla is attacked and bitten by the mother spider.
Anguish: She cries for Rexy to help her.
Fear and Dread: Rexy is too afraid for her own safety to help.
Horror: Rexy looks back to see Darla fall to the ground and be swarmed by the spiders.
INT. COUNTRY HOUSE – CONTINUOUS p.48
Hysteria: Rexy runs into the house, up the stairs, into her bedroom, and cowers in the closet. Rexy froze and ran back to the house and hid in her closet.
Surprise and shock: She didn’t tell her parents about the Spider’s attack until an hour later, when it was too late.
INT. RESTAURANT – CONTINUOUS p.48
Keaton consoles her, “You were a young child, too young to realize consequences.
EXT. RESTAURANT, VERANDA – CONTINUOUS p.49
The night is warm. String lights and large potted plants make this a romantic spot. Keaton asks for a second chance at the relationship. They kiss.
INT. ANTI-VENOM RESEARCH LAB – NIGHT p.51
Apprehension and Monster Reveal: Reese and Cali Ann are tasked with feeding the lab creatures, including Teras.
Dread: After Reese feeds Teras, he gets interested in making out with Cali Ann and fatally forgets to put the weight back on the lid of Teras’s enclosure.
Surprise, shock, horror: Teras gets out and kills Cali Ann.
Panic: Teras blinds Reese with irritating urticating hairs. These also restrict his breathing.
Hysteria: We feel the additional terror of fighting off a deadly creature while blind.
Horror: Teras finally kills Reese. In a gross out display we see Teras spray Reese with digestive juices which dissolve his face. He then plasters his head to the wall with silk.
INT. UNIVERSITY HORSE STABLE – NIGHT p.55
We see a pen light down at the end of the corridor going from one stall to the next. It’s Atticus. He uses a Brazilian bamboo poison to kill Georgie.
ACT 2 MIDPOINT
INT. ANTI-VENOM RESEARCH LAB – NIGHT p.56
Shock and Horror, Monster Reveal: After Teras, finishes with the humans, it proceeds to attack, and kill every other venomous creature. It finally fights and kills the King Cobra in an epic battle.
Horror and anguish: In the morning Rexy discovers Reese and Cali Ann and all of the lab creatures dead. She calls Keaton. She also hears from Jack that he has given George, the horse, an antidote which reverses the bamboo poison. Rexy is so distraught, Keaton tells her to go home while he and Atticus find the “lost” spider again. The spider escapes the lab in Rexy’s large purse.
INT. REXY’S VEHICLE – DAY p.58
Anxiety: Rexy drives through her residential neighborhood. Next to her is her oversized purse with Teras inside. Teras does not attack, because she is exhausted and engorged with feasting on Reese and the lab creatures from the following night. It is also day and the Phoneutria Genus of spiders primarily hunt at night.
INT. ANTI-VENOM RESEARCH LAB – MORNING p.59
HALLWAY. Atticus gets a call from the CIA Operatives and disappears. He is threatened to get the spider back.
INT. CIA HEADQUARTERS – CONTINUOUS p.63
We finally see Anon(50s), a rugged CIA operative with the demeanor of a callused Nazi, vowing to kill Atticus. We find they have hired Atticus to crossbreed spiders to create the fastest and deadliest acting venom to use in their ballistic, assassination program deemed, QUICK KILL. If the bullet doesn’t kill you the venom will. Smart Horror!
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE ANTI-VENOM LAB – CONTINUOUS p.64
Atticus pockets his phone and goes into the lab where Keaton is consoling Rexy to go home while they look for the spider and take care of Reese’s and Cali Ann’s bodies. Rexy leaves with Teras in her purse.
EXT./INT. HORSE BARN – DAY p.65
Rexy stops at the horse barn to see Georgie has recovered. Jack gives her the first anti-venom vial. It’s not up to full anti-venom strength, but it may have some positive effect if needed.
INT. ANTI-VENOM RESEARCH LAB p.67
Keaton receives a call. Sheriff Mauer calls Keaton to tell him that he has found Atticus’s station is on the Pará River where the bamboo poison is found and close to the shipping port in Belém, where Captain Andrade’s company is based. The Sheriff found evidence of Atticus’s Dan and the bamboo poison on a glove Atticus accidentally left at the Horse Barn confirming Atticus poisoned Georgie and he is officially deemed a bad actor.
EXT./INT. REXY’S CAR – CONTINUOUS p.68
Rexy get’s in her car and starts the engine. The movement of the car, going from reverse to drive, causes the purse to shift and one of Teras’s legs comes out. Will the Spider come out and attack her while she is driving? Suspense!
EXT./INT. REXY’S HOME – CONTINUOUS p.68
Anxiety: Rexy swings her LARGE PURSE onto her shoulder and carries it to the front door. Tension fills the air. Will Teras attack? Not yet.
Anxiety and fear: Rexy puts the purse on a credenza in the entrance hall. We now fearer for two other people as Rexy’s daughter LILLY comes home, and ROSCO, Rexy’s dog are introduced.
Denial: Rosco is so happy to see them and hungry for pancakes, he disregards the scent of the Spider in the purse, even though he looks at it.
Dread: Rexy tells Lilly to go in to her purse and get the video game, Donkey Kong.
Lilly gets the package quickly and doesn’t realize that Teras was near and tried to strike her.
Anxiety: After pancakes, Rosco goes outside. Rexy goes upstairs and gets in the shower, and Lilly goes to her upstairs bedroom and lays down with a new video game, Donkey Kong. Lilly drifts off to sleep.
Shock and Dread: The jungle sounds of the game attract Teras who climbs up on Lilly’s body and rest on her hands, still not in hunting mode.
Panic and anguish: Lilly awakes and calls for her mother who is drying her hair.
Release: Rexy finally turns off the hair dryer and hears Lilly’s pleas for help.
Subdued Panic: Rexy in a bath towel tells Lilly to fling the spider off toward the door. Rexy takes a tennis racket to Teras but misses.
Surprise and Hysteria: Teras jumps on her towel.
She knocks it off.
Release: Rosco enters and engages the spider, fighting it all the way down the stairs.
Dread: Rosco gets bit, but, Rexy has anti-venom in her purse. She administers it and Rosco lives.
Release: Rexy takes a fire extinguisher (CO2) and sprays Teras until the spider escapes out the back doggie door.
BACKYARD p.75
Teras climbs over the backyard gate and drops to the ground on a silk strand. She walks to the front yard where she picks up the scent of the port and the warehouse where her egg sacs are hidden among the bananas.
ACT 3
INT. KEATON’S AUTOMOBILE – CONTINUOUS p.80
Rexy and Keaton are driving toward the Port as Keaton tells Rexy that Atticus is based in the same area on the Para2 River that the bamboo poison is from and Captain Andrade’s shipping company operates out of. They finally deduce that Atticus, in a “GAIN-OF-FUNCTION” crossbreeding experiment created Teras from a Brazilian Wandering Spider and a Goliath Bird-Eating Tarantula.
Apprehension and fear: They also deduce that this aggressive and deadly species, if allowed to live and procreate, has the potential to create a plague which will endanger all other species and possibly humankind. (SEQUEL SETUP)
EXT. SHIPPING PORT, U.S.A – CONTINUOUS p.81
Rexy opens the door and starts to get out. Keaton grabs two CO2 dispensers. They rush to Crutchfields Warehouse to look for Teras and any egg sacs that Teras may have left.
Apprehension: We find that Bob Crutchfield distributed half of the bananas to the local grocery stores and didn’t inspect them throughly enough for all egg sacs. He found one and Rexy, Keaton and the Sheriff find another.
Surprise and shock: Atticus and the CIA Operatives show up and, at gun point, take them, but drop them on the concrete floor when Teras shows up and threatens to attack them.
Surprise and shock: The egg sacs burst open.
Anguish, panic, horror: Baby Terases swarm the CIA Operatives and Teras attacks and kills them.
Dread: BOB CRUTCHFIELD grabs his homemade flamethrower and start to torch the baby Terases.
Panic: Teras attacks Atticus and Keaton next. When Bob succumbs to the baby Terases, Sheriff Mauer grabs the flamethrower and torches the rest of the baby terases.
Surprise, shock, dread: Rexy tries to get the anti-venom to Keaton, but Atticus takes it and injects himself, leaving Keaton to die.
Surprise, shock, horror: Keaton tells Sheriff Mauer to shoot off the finger that Teras bit. The Sheriff complies in a gross out moment.
Surprise, shock, hysteria: Teras can’t get to Sheriff Mauer and attacks Rexy next. She is knocked to the floor, but manages to hold off a bite from the Spider until Keaton can knock Teras away from Rexy.
Tension and Release: Rexy then asks for the flamethrower from Sheriff Mauer and takes after Teras. Teras heads for the door, afraid of the flames, Rexy attempts to set her on fire.
Surprise and fear: Only a spurt comes out and lands on the Spider’s back. Teras escapes out the door, while Rexy goes back to check on Bob.
Horror: Bob goes into a seizure and dies.
EXT. DOCK – CONTINUOUS p.88
Release: Teras limps across the dock platform in an escape, but it looks like she is still going to burn to death.
INT. ATTICUS’S VEHICLE – CONTINUOUS p.88
Atticus breathes heavily, pain down below comes in sharp pulses. Atticus, is feeling the painful cure of ED that the Phoneutria species is known for, only it is amplified. Morbid Humor.
EXT. DOCK AT OLD CARGO BOAT – CONTINUOUS p.89
Surprise and shock: Still on fire and SIZZLING, Teras drags herself to the edge of the dock and stops. She molts, leaving her burning exoskeleton behind and boards the Old Cargo Boat, the one she came in on.
Dread: She climbs down into the Engine Room and up into a corner where she has laid another undiscovered, large, egg sac. We feel dread that a spider plague is about to visit the world.
DOCK p.90
Sheriff Mauer walks toward the exoskeleton thinking it is the whole spider. He crushes it and sweeps it into the water with his foot.
EXT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT p.90
Keaton, Rexy, and Lilly exit onto a sidewalk and take a stroll. We see that they are together as a couple and potential family.
INT. GROCERY STORE – NIGHT p.91 Rexy, Keaton walk past a kiosk with bananas. They instinctively look for spiders. Seeing none, they walk past. However, as the camera stays on the bananas, we see one baby Teras spider. As another customer lifts a cluster of bananas out of the crate, we see an egg sac with another baby Teras coming out. It screeches and jumps on the Camera Lense, creating a FINAL BLACKOUT.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Kenneth Wood.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by
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Ken Wood’s Scary-As-Hell Scene
I learned that starting with horror emotions in mind and trying to use them to map out the scene first, helps make for a richer scene. Especially, by incorporating releases, also deemed false alarms, that enriches the scenes with unexpected twists, and unexpected twists are always good.
Horror Map
Anxiety: Keaton gets on his stomach to peer into the dark engine room to see if he can spot the killer spider. With a flashlight he scans the room. There, at the foot of the steps, is the dead body of the Port Supervisor on the floor.
Surprise/Scare: Rexy shouts, “Careful!” Keaton jumps.
Keaton jumps.
Keaton:
I’m being careful. That doesn’t help.
Release: Keaton on edge, resumes his scan of the walls. Something moves close to his head. Keaton jerks his hand out. The flashlight gets knocked out of his hand and sputters out on the floor.
Fear: He takes out his cell phone and turns on its light, and carefully aims it where he saw the movement. This time he realizes that a wall-mounted coat rack’s shadow was what moved when his light went from right to left.
Release:
Keaton
It’s just a coat rack. I don’t see anything else. Come on. Let’s go down.
Dread: The three descend down the ladder stepping over the Port Supervisor’s body. Keaton carries a rope they will use to get the Port Supervisor’s body out.
They search around the entire engine, dreading that they could be attacked with little chance of escaping.
Fear: The three are unaware of the movement taking place in the leg of the Port Supervisor’s pants, but the audience sees it.
Release: Keaton ties one end of the rope around the Supervisor’s chest. They all go up the ladder and begin to pull. The body come part way, but a knife in a belt pouch gets caught on the ladder.
Anxiety: As the body is hoisted up, head first, the spider falls out of the pant leg and retreats into the shadows. Keaton volunteers to go back down and fix the problem.
Dread: As Keaton pulls down on the body, the rope starts slipping out of Rexy’s and Atticus’s hands.
Shock: The rope slips completely out of their hands. The body knocks Keaton to the ground. Keaton hits his head and the body pins him to the floor, arms and all. Keaton is dazed.
Dread: The Spider crawls out of the shadow for a second and retreats. Keaton, still in a daze and weak, tries to get his arms free.
Panic: He looks up to see the Spider has moved up on the body just above his head. The fangs of the Spider protrude and venom beads form on their tips. The Spider hisses and begins to attack.
Surprise/Shock: The metal clap of Rexy’s POLE NET snaps shut around the Spider’s body, an inch from Keaton’s nose.
Panic: The Spider rages like a hooked Marlin. She pulls it out of the hole.
Release: Keaton, with renewed adrenaline, gets his arms out, pushed the body off and hustles up to the top deck. They subdue it several sprays of CO2, causing it to relax and go to sleep. They decide to take it to the lab right away and start to leave.
Release:
Atticus
How about the Supervisor’s body?
Keaton
I’m turning that duty back over to the Sheriff. Let’s go.
The Scene:
All are in suits and gloves. Keaton slowly opens the hatch. The stench knocks them back. Keaton approaches and kneels.
KEATON
Flashlight.
Rexy hands it to him. He shines it into the hole and looks around. He gets on his stomach and leans in to look.
REXY
(loudly and abruptly)
Careful!
Keaton’s body jumps.
KEATON
I’m being careful. Let’s not do that.
REXY
Sorry.
Keaton scans the Supervisor’s body with the flashlight.
REXY
Do you see the Supervisor?
KEATON
Yes. He’s at the foot of the stairs.
Keaton shines the light up the walls and onto the ceiling. The light casting a moving shadow on a sprinkler makes it look like a moving spider.
Keaton jerks back, and drops the flashlight. It hits the floor, sputters, and goes out.
KEATON
Crap.
REXY
Did you see it?
Keaton gets out his phone and turns on its flashlight. Cautiously, he peers back in and shines the light on the object.
KEATON
No. Just a scary sprinkler head.
We follow the light around the room again.
KEATON
It must have moved behind the engine. You guys ready to go down?
Rexy and Atticus give each other concerned looks.
Keaton descends first with the rope, keeping watch as Rexy and Atticus follow. Rexy hand a CO2 tank to Keaton.
Keaton drops the rope on the floor. Rexy has a spring-loaded net, with its jaws opened and ready.
KEATON
Watch out for the body.
They step over it. Keaton hands the tank to Atticus.
Slowly they creep around the left side of the engine. No spider. They make their way to the front again and start around the right side.
We see the Supervisor’s body again. Unknown to the search party, a crawling movement takes place inside one of the pant legs.
The trio scans the right side and back side of the engine, finding nothing.
REXY
Where did it go?
ATTICUS
Maybe it made its way out through the exhaust duct.
REXY
That sucks.
Keaton scans the room again.
KEATON
Hmm. Well. Let’s get the body out. Help me get this rope under his arms.
They lift while Keaton secures the rope.
KEATON
Let’s go topside and pull him out.
A moment later, from both outside and inside the engine room, we watch the three attempt to heave the body up the ladder. All have taken off their face guards.
We see crawling movement inside the pants leg.
The Supervisor’s knife/belt pouch catches on a ladder rung. They pull harder, but, to no avail.
REXY
He’s stuck.
KEATON
Can you two hold on, while I go back down?
ATTICUS
Go for it.
Keaton gingerly lets go and makes his descent, around the decaying body, to the floor. He spots the knife pouch wedged under the rung.
KEATON
Give me some slack.
Atticus and Rexy inch toward the hatch. Keaton hugs the legs of the body as he struggles to loosen the knife.
KEATON
A little more.
The rope start to slide in Rexy’s glove. Atticus feels it.
ATTICUS
Hold on.
REXY
He’s too heavy.
Keaton pulls down on the belt. The knife pops loose, and the Spider falls out of the pants leg into the shadows below.
The rope jerks out of their hands and whips into the hole. The body falls down knocking Keaton on his back and pinning him, arms and all underneath the body.
A head bump leaves Keaton’s vision blurred. He blinks to and shakes his head to regain his vision. Rexy’s voice calls to him like in a distant cave.
REXY (O.S.)
Keaton. Are you okay?
From the shadows, to the right of his head, comes the SPIDER’S HISS.
Keaton’s eyes squint. A spider leg steps out from the shadows. Keaton struggles to get his arms free to no avail.
The spider leg retracts into the shadows. Keaton holds still to listen. He scans the room. Where did it go? Where the heck did it go?
REXY (O.S.)
(echoing)
Keaton.
He turns his head to search the left side. Nothing but a rotting face. He struggles to get his arms free.
Keaton’s POV: He looks directly up to see the spider’s legs creeping over the top of the body toward his face.
Closer. Closer.
A low HISS. Huge, red, hairy fangs flex open to reveal sharp, black fangs. Beads of venom form on the tips. It slowly raises its two front legs straight up.
The spider crouches in striking position. It emits a blood-curdling SCREECH and LUNGES toward him. Keaton abruptly closes his eyes and turns his head away.
He hears a SWISHING NOISE and a METALLIC CLAP. The spider SHRIEKS.
Keaton dares open his eyes. The spider is caught in the net, FIGHTING and RANTING like a fresh-caught fish.
At the other end of the net handle is a shaking, wide-eyed Rexy. She pulls the net up out of the hole. Atticus sprays it with CO2, trying to anesthetize it.
Keaton uses new-found adrenalin to push off the body and climb out of the hole.
ON DECK – MOMENTS LATER
They observe the now-calm spider. Rexy’s shaky hands holds out the net handle to Keaton.
REXY
Here, Keaton. You take it. I feel like I just reeled in a Marlin.
Rexy and Atticus crouch to get a closer look. The spider lunges at them. They jump back up and away. It keeps lunging.
ATTICUS
Hold still sweetheart. We just want a closer look at your beauty.
Atticus leans his head down again. A sudden burst of CO2 engulfs the net. Atticus jumps and turns to see Rexy, lips pursed, ready to give the spider, yet, another blast.
ATTICUS
Thanks for the warning.
The spider, sluggishly continues to move. She blasts it again. Finally, calm. They peer at it.
REXY
Well, Mr. Xanderman, do you recognize it?
Atticus squints to get a close look.
ATTICUS
I can’t tell for the net and CO2.
Rexy SIGHS in disappointment.
REXY
Let’s get it to the lab. We’ll figure it out there.
Keaton and Rexy de-board the boat. Atticus looks at them and then back at the engine room entrance.
ATTICUS
Aren’t we forgetting something?
KEATON
Huh?
ATTICUS
You know, Mister Spider Bait.
KEATON
The Sheriff just inherited that job again.
REXY
I agree.
ATTICUS
It’s the American way?
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Kenneth Wood.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by
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Ken’s Scares, Releases, and Creepy moments
Outline:
The Spider has escaped the anti-venom lab by hiding in Rexy’s large purse. It has had a long night of hunting and killing and feasting on humans and creatures. It’s daylight and her time to rest.
This becomes a disturbing situation when Rexy drives home with the purse(and spider) next to her. At one point, she brakes and we see the Spider’s leg shift out of the bag and retract back inside, just inches away from Rexy’s leg. She carries the purse inside her house and places it on a credenza in the hallway.
Rexy’s daughter, Lilly arrives, and in a moment of release, Rexy, her daughter Lilly and dog, Rosco, go to the kitchen, make pancakes and laugh about Lilly playing catch with her dad (Rexy’s ex) and hitting him in the face with a football.
Rexy tells Lilly that she has a surprise gift for her in her purse. It’s a Donkey Kong video game. Lilly goes to get it and we have another disturbing situation when she sticks her hand in the purse and rummages around. The package is not in there and surprise, the spider is not either. The package has fallen to the ground under the credenza. She grabs it and we see the Spider comes out of the shadow for a quick punch strike but misses and retracts back into the shadow.
After the meal, Rosco goes outside through the doggie door. Lilly goes to her upstairs bedroom to lay on her bed and play her game and eventually dozes off. Rexy goes to take a shower. The Spider, is attracted to the jungle noises of the game and makes its way up the stairs, onto her bed and climbs up on top of Lilly.
In a shocking, unnerving, situation, Lilly awakes to see the Spider and begins to call out for her mother. However, Rexy is using a hair dryer. When Rexy turns it off, she hears Lilly’s desperate, emotional pleas and comes to her room wrapped in a towel. They develop a plan for Lilly to swipe the Spider off and Rexy will hit it with a tennis racket.
The launch is a success, but Rexy misses and the Spider jumps up on her towel. Rexy goes into hysteria knocking the Spider off. The Spider, fully aroused intends to attack again. However, in a jump scare of a different sort, Rosco the dog attacks the spider and engages in a rough and tumble fight all the way down the stairs to the ground floor.
The Spider bites Rosco and we think it will die. Exhausted from the night and dog fight, the Spider escapes out the doggie door. In a moment of release, Rexy remembers she has a vial of anti-venom in her purse and administers it to Rosco.
Scenes:
EXT./INT. REXY’S CAR – CONTINUOUS
Rexy get’s in her car and starts the engine. The movement of the car, going from reverse to forward, causes the LARGE PURSE to move.
A spider leg comes out, then retracts. Rexy doesn’t notice it. Rexy drives through the neighborhood and pulls up to her two-story home.
EXT./INT. REXY’S HOME – CONTINUOUS
Rexy swings her LARGE PURSE onto her shoulder and carries it to the front door. Rexy picks up a small Amazon package from the porch. She slides it in her purse.
REXY
It came.
She opens the door. ROSCO, her small-sized dog, greets her with much affection. She forces a smile.
REXY
Oh, to be a dog. Always happy.
She lays her keys and her purse on its side on a hallway credenza, and gives the dog a good head rub.
The front doorbell rings. Rexy opens the door to her daughter, LILLY(11), a happy, athletic girl. They hug.
REXY
Hi, Lilly girl.
LILLY
Hi, Mom.
Her EX-HUSBAND waves, as his vehicle backs out of the drive and leaves. They enter and Rexy closes the door.
REXY
Hungry?
LILLY
Yes.
REXY
Come on. Breakfast at dinner. I’m hungry for buttery pancakes.
LILLY
And hot maple syrup.
REXY
And ice-cold milk. I bet Rosco would like a pancake, too.
They head toward to the kitchen. Rosco follows but looks back at the LARGE PURSE. The promise of food wins Rosco over, however. They disappear into the kitchen.
The LARGE PURSE on the credenza begins to shake. A spider leg appears, then another. The small package drops to the floor. Teras’s head becomes fully visible.
Loud LAUGHTER from Rexy and Lilly comes from the kitchen, and retracts into the purse.
REXY (O.S.)
Turn the mixer off first.
KITCHEN
The girls have aprons on and batter splatters on their faces.
LILLY
So, I threw this perfect spiral, and it hit dad right in the nose.
Rexy gasps.
REXY
He always has been klutzy.
LILLY
His eyes are turning black.
They LAUGH.
REXY
Oo. I needed a good laugh. Hey, I got you an early birthday present.
LILLY
You did?
REXY
It’s in my purse. On the credenza.
HALLWAY
Lilly runs up to the purse and starts to stick her hand in.
She realizes she has batter on the back of her hand. She wipes it off on her apron.
She lifts open the purse with one handle and sticks her hand slowly in the other. She feels around and gets a confused look.
She glances down and finds the PACKAGE partially under the credenza. Just behind package, in the shadows is Teras.
She bends down and grabs it, just as Teras reaches out to strike her hand. Teras misses and retracts into the shadow.
Lilly grins and hustles back into the…
KITCHEN
Lilly opens it. It is a GAME for a SWITCH CONSOLE.
LILLY
DONKEY KONG! Yes! Thanks, Mom.
Lilly hugs her.
REXY
You’re welcome. But, don’t forget to spend time with your mom.
LILLY
I will.
Hot syrup pours, melting butter. Rosco sits up with tail wagging profusely just below the table.
LILLY
Good dog.
REXY
Obedience school is paying off.
LILLY
Here, boy.
Lilly puts down a small plain pancake. He laps it up and begs for more. Rexy SIGHS.
LILLY
Can I give him another one?
REXY
Why not?
Lilly does.
LATER
The table is cleaned. Lilly puts up the fridge items. Rexy rinses the plates and loads them in the dishwasher.
REXY
Do you want to go anywhere, do anything tonight?
LILLY
Mom, I stayed up late two nights in a row. I thinks I’d like to just go to my room and lay down, maybe play with the new game.
REXY
Sure, Honey.
They pull off their aprons. Rexy gives Lilly a hug and watches her leave the room.
REXY
(to Rosco)
Alright, boy. Go outside and do your duty.
Rosco exits the kitchen door via a doggie door.
LILLY’S BEDROOM
Lilly lays down on her back on top of the covers. She plugs in the new KONG game to her SWITCH CONSOLE, and plays it.
DOWNSTAIRS HALLWAY
Teras hears the JUNGLE SOUNDS of the Donkey Kong game.
BATHROOM
Rexy takes a shower.
STAIRS
Teras, now at the top of the stairs, looks toward the Bathroom, but is drawn by the JUNGLE SOUNDS coming from Lilly’s room.
Teras slowly enters…
LILLY’S ROOM
Lilly plays on. Teras crawls behind the bed out of our view.
INTERCUT: REXY/LILLY
Rexy washes her hair.
Lilly becomes overwhelmed with tiredness and puts the SWITCH on her night stand. Her hands fold over her stomach and her eyes blink slowly until she finally drifts off to sleep.
Rexy gets out of the shower and wraps in a towel.
Teras’s leg appears coming up on the bed near Lilly’s feet.
Rexy blows her hair dry.
Teras climbs up on top of Lilly’s body. As Teras climbs up on her hands, Lilly wakes up to see the face of Teras. Fear fills Lilly’s eyes.
LILLY
(softly to loudly)
Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom.
Rexy continues blow drying, but finally shuts it off. Lilly’s distressed cries finally reach her.
LILLY (O.S.)
Mom. Please come now.
Rexy swings open the door and flies down the hall into Lilly’s room. She and Teras see each other.
From one mother to another, Teras seems to have a sad, longing face. Rexy cocks her head trying to interpret the strange look.
LILLY
(whimpering)
What do I do, Mom?
Rexy looks around.
REXY
Stay still. This spider is deadly. What do you have that I can hit it with?
LILLY
My tennis racket over in the corner.
Rexy creeps over, gets it, and creeps to the foot of the bed.
LILLY
Don’t hit me.
REXY
I won’t. Now, When I say go, I want you to flip it off with your hand. Really hard and fast toward the door. I’ll whack it when it hits the ground. Ready?
Lilly nods.
REXY
Go.
Lilly successfully launches it off and scrambles out of bed. Rexy attempts to hit it. Teras sidesteps. Rexy misses. Teras jumps up on Rexy’s towel. Lilly and Rexy SCREAM.
Rexy whacks Teras off. Teras tumbles out the door into the…
UPSTAIRS HALLWAY
Teras uprights herself at the top of the…
STAIRS
Rosco suddenly flies up the stairs, growling and barking and launches headlong into the spider. A rolling, wrestling match commences.
LILLY
Rosco, no.
Rosco and Teras roll and fight closer toward the stairs. Finally, they plunge downward. Bouncing, GROWING, SCREECHING.
When they hit ground level, the two fly apart, sliding on their sides. Lilly and Rexy come flying down the stairs.
LILLY
Rosco!
Rosco breaths heavily and whimpers. Teras gets upright, shows her fangs, SCREECHES and stalks Rosco. Suddenly, a blast of CO2 from a fire extinguisher, sprays Teras in the face. We see Rexy’s angry face.
REXY
Not my dog.
Teras backs away. Rexy forces Teras toward the back door. Trying to get the spider to go to sleep. Teras backs up to the door and accidentally bumps the doggie door open.
Teras escapes. Rexy runs back to Rosco in the…
HALLWAY
Lilly, in tears, holds Rosco as the dog fights for life. Rexy kneels. Lilly looks up at mom.
LILLY
I think he got bit.
REXY
Oh, no.
It suddenly dawns on Rexy that she has the anti-venom in her purse.
REXY
Wait a minute.
She dashes to her purse and dumps out the contents. The glass vial rolls off the credenza. In slow motion it falls and hits the floor. Rexy’s face goes into full panic. She GASPS.
It hits, bounces once, and spins. It does not break. BIG SIGH. She sees a needle among the contents, scoops it up, and rushes to treat Rosco.
She injects Rosco. Lilly’s teary eyes look for hope in Rexy’s. Rexy’s can’t offer much. They wait. Rosco calms down and goes still.
Rosco suddenly throws up breakfast all over Lilly and stands on all fours, wagging his tail and licking his lips.
LILLY
Eww. Rosco-wuh.
REXY
It works. The anti-venom works.
They all hug.
REXY
Thank God, you’re both okay. I love you so much.
LILLY
What was that thing?
REXY
A spider from the lab. It must have gotten in my purse. But, go get cleaned up. I have to make a call.
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Ken’s Level 3 Horror Emotion Scene
I learned that in Act 3, it’s time for the Lead Character(s) to experience the greatest and most direct onslaught of the monster, or whatever is creating the terror.
I’ve done my best to ratchet up the emotions of Anguish, Panic, Horror and Hysteria.
In my Act 3 scene, Teras, the most intelligent, deadly, and aggressive spider in the world, finally has escaped the lab and made it back to the banana shipment at Crutchfield’s Produce Warehouse at the sea port. We discover that getting back to egg sacs, that she has planted among the bananas, has been her driving force and cause of her deadly aggression. However, our lead characters, Rexy, Keaton, Sheriff and Atticus converge on the warehouse just before her arrival, thinking that she might be returning to the smells of her native country, Brazil.
The humans discover the egg sacs, and while Rexy’s team believes they should be killed on the spot, CIA Operatives behind the gain-of-function spider venom experiment, known as QUICK KILL abscond with the egg sacs planning to use their venom in their assassination program. No sooner do they have the egg sacs in their hands, Teras shows up, more agitated than ever. The CIA Operatives drop the egg sacs which burst open causing the thousands of baby spiders to swarm them and others nearby. Teras viciously attacks as many humans as she can, fully intent on killing all of them.
Teras is especially enraged when Crutchfield begins to torch her offspring with a homemade flamethrower. A big moment of these horror emotions is when Keaton gets bitten on the finger by Teras. Atticus has been bitten as well, but takes the anti-venom for himself that Rexy was bringing to Keaton. So, Keaton asks the Sheriff to shoot off his finger to save his life, which the Sheriff does.
My Scene:
CRUTCHFIELD’S WAREHOUSE
Upon entering, they are greeted by a livid Sheriff Mauer reaming out Bob Crutchfield.
SHERIFF MAUER
What the heck do you mean, you had to get them to market?
BOB
Only half of them. I had to break even.
SHERIFF MAUER
Did you check them for other spiders? This thing is a killing machine, Bob.
BOB
I’d be dead already then, huh? Come on. I watched those bananas a whole day and a half turning yellow. Didn’t see no more creepy crawlies. Only a…
Bob halts abruptly.
SHERIFF MAUER
What was that?
BOB
I found an egg sac. Only one, but, I trashed it.
REXY
Oh, no. She’s reproduced. How big was it?
BOB
About four inches long. It ran between some bananas.
REXY
How wide?
BOB
Maybe an inch.
Rexy squeezes Keaton’s arm. He bends over.
REXY
(whispering)
That’s large enough for at least a thousand eggs.
Keaton’s eyes grow wide.
SHERIFF MAUER
Bob, were you gonna call and tell me?
BOB
I figured I’d just apologize when the time came. Over here.
Bob leads them toward a large, rubber, trash can. Keaton rummages around in the can.
BOB
I tied the bag real tight. They can’t get out. Those are premium bags.
SHERIFF MAUER
You better hope to God.
Keaton and Rexy inspect it.
REXY
We have to check the rest of the crates. There may be more.
SHERIFF MAUER
Let’s get to it.
A frantic search for egg sacs ensues. In one of the last crates, Keaton announces…
KEATON
I found one. He pulls out a cluster of bananas. He lifts a banana to reveal the large egg sac underneath.
They all converge to look at it.
REXY
We have to destroy the egg sacs.
BOB
I’ve got a homemade flamethrower I use to burn those banana spiders when they crawl out on the concrete. I don’t get near ‘em.
SHERIFF MAUER
Get it. Let’s do this now.
Bob retrieves the flamethrower. Keaton lays the banana cluster and egg sac on the ground.
Bob lifts out and cuts open the trash bag, pulls out the cluster of bananas with the other egg sac, and hands them to Keaton. Keaton places them alongside the other cluster.
Bob lights the device with a camping flint.
ATTICUS (O.S.)
You can’t do that.
The group wheels around to see Atticus, flanked by gun-bearing Anon and his Fellow Associate.
ATTICUS
Those spider eggs are protected, too. Turn that thing off.
Bob complies and sets it down.
ANON
Sheriff, drop the gun.
Sheriff Mauer complies. Anon forces Rexy and Sheriff Mauer away from the clusters.
KEATON
What brings you here, Atticus?
ATTICUS
We can’t find Teras, so, we’re looking for the next best thing.
SHERIFF MAUER
(to Anon and Fellow Associate)
Who the heck are you guys?
Anon flashes a fake badge.
ANON
Brazilian Ministry of Environment.
REXY
Atticus, the Teras species is going to destroy thousands of other species. You can’t let Teras and her offspring live. They’re too aggressive and too deadly.
ATTICUS
Not if we can contain them.
REXY
Haven’t you learned yet? You can’t contain Phoneutria Teras. They’ll spread faster than a Corona Virus.
ANON
Shut up, lady!
Rexy’s eyes plead with Atticus. Atticus shrugs.
ATTICUS
These men have all the guns.
ANON
(to Fellow Associate)
Get those egg sacs.
Fellow Associate approaches Keaton and Bob.
FELLOW ASSOCIATE
Step back.
Bob steps away but, Keaton steps in front of the clusters. Fellow Associate smacks him in the side of his head. Keaton falls.
>>>> Change to possible fight here?
Fellow Associate picks up one cluster. Anon makes his way over and picks up the other. Atticus follows to inspect the sacs.
ATTICUS
Those are the hers, alright.
ANON
Alright. Let’s go.
They start toward the door. But stop dead in their tracks. Teras has appeared right in front of them.
She is in battle stance, with her front legs up in the air. Her fangs fully extend with beads of venom beads forming on her fangs.
Teras lets out a blood-curdling SCREECH.
Anon aims at her. BANG! Teras side steps. Missed.
Teras SCREECHES again and moves quickly around to the far side of Fellow Associate. Keaton stirs from the blast.
Fellow Associate takes aim at Teras. BANG! Missed again. Teras moves around.
ATTICUS
You better drop those bananas and do it now if you want to live.
Anon and CIA Associate release the clusters.
IN SLOW MOTION, THEY FALL. AS THEY HIT THE CONCRETE, BANANAS PULL APART AND RIP BOTH SACS OPEN. THOUSANDS OF BABY TERAS’S SWARM OUT AND CLIMB UP ANON AND FELLOW ASSOCIATE LIKE DARK STORM CLOUDS. SOME SWARM ON KEATON AND ATTICUS AS WELL.
Teras launches onto Anon, crawling up to his face and plunging her fangs in his cheek, fiercely pumping in venom. Anon falls.
Teras jumps onto Fellow Associate’s back and climbs up, and bites him in the neck. He falls to the ground. Shortly, both men go into paralysis, then seizure, then death. The baby spiders begin to feast.
Teras jumps on Atticus’s arm and bites him. Keaton tries to knock Teras off of Atticus, but TERAS SEES HIS HAND COMING AND WRAPS AROUND IT.
SHE BITES DOWN ON KEATON’S MIDDLE FINGER. WE SEE TERAS PUSHING THE VENOM IN. KEATON RIPS TERAS OFF.
REXY
No!
Rexy scrambles in her purse and pulls out the vial of anti-venom and a syringe and runs to Keaton. Nervously, she sucks the anti-venom into the syringe and raises it to inject Keaton.
Suddenly, Atticus’s hand grabs hers and redirects the shot into his own arm. Rexy goes into total shock and looks at Keaton with absolute despair.
Rexy slugs Atticus square in the nose and knocks him to the ground.
Teras heads toward Bob. Bob lights up the flame thrower and holds Teras off.
KEATON
Sheriff, I need you to do something quick.
SHERIFF MAUER
Okay.
KEATON
I’ve got about thirty seconds and I’m dead. I need you to take your gun and shoot me.
SHERIFF MAUER
I’m not going to do that.
Keaton holds up his middle finger. We see the fang marks.
KEATON
Not me. My finger.
Rexy and Sheriff Mauer look at each other in horror.
KEATON
Now!
Sheriff Mauer takes aim. BANG! Keaton writhes in pain. Rexy rips of part of her shirt and makes a tourniquet around the stub.
REXY
Get up, Keaton. Let’s go.
She whacks off baby spiders from Keaton, and those which are now on her.
REXY
Hurry.
Bob tries to torch Teras in liquid fire, but she dodges. Teras SCREECHES and tries to get at Bob, but he holds her off.
Bob now battles the baby spiders who now bite him. He drops the flamethrower to fight them off.
Sheriff Mauer grabs the flamethrower and begins to torch all the spiders he can while swiping them off of Bob and himself.
Many of the baby spiders are feasting on, now dead, ANON and Fellow Associate. Sheriff Mauer torches them all and keeps Teras at bay.
Baby spiders by the hundreds, now aflame, begin to scatter all over the room in a surreal spectacle.
Sheriff Mauer is relentless, he hunts down every last one of the spiders, torching them with a vengeance. They all begin to turn into smoldering blobs of char.
TERAS, climbs up to the tallest banana crate, rears up, and CRIES IN AGONY for her dying babies.
REXY
Over here, Sheriff.
At the sound of her voice, Teras squares on Rexy and launches off the crates toward her. Rexy’s hands go up and catch Teras by the legs, pinning her in the air. Rexy falls on her back.
Teras tries to lunge at her face and hands with her fangs but Rexy holds her off.
Teras shakes urticating hairs toward Rexy’s face, Rexy turns, holds her breath and closes her eyes.
Keaton sweeps Teras off of Rexy and throws her away, hard. Teras bounces, tumbles and slides. As she rights herself she becomes aware of her crying, burning, babies again.
Rexy gets on her feet, successful in avoiding the hairs.
REXY
Give me that torch, Sheriff.
Rexy takes it and heads toward Teras. Fearful of the fire, Teras attempts to make it to the door.
Almost there, Teras sees Rexy coming up behind her. Her face looks like the devil himself. She takes aim with the flamethrower.
REXY
Die, Legs!
She presses the handle, but, only a small burst of liquid fire sputters out upon Teras. Rexy shakes the can and tries again, but it’s out of juice.
Teras escapes out the door with a patch of fire on her back.
[…]
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Kenneth Wood.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by
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Ken Wood’s Level 2 Horror Emotion Scene
I learned that focusing the action in my second act on the emotions of FEAR, SUSPENSE and DREAD, raises the intensity of the story.
Set up for this scene: The Spider has already killed five people on a banana boat from Brazil. It has now been caught by lead arachnologist, Dr. Rexy Lamber, with the aid of mysterious Brazilian arachnologist, Atticus Xanderman, and the State Medical Examiner, Keaton Mercer.
Now, Rexy has the spider in the Anti-Venom Lab to perform a venom extraction. She has brought in two University students as lab assistants.
Fear, Suspense and dread permeate this scene, as this spider has proven to have a wildly aggressive killer instinct. And now it is hopefully anesthetized enough with CO2 for Rexy and team to lay her out on an open table and attempt a venom extraction. The fear, suspense and dread of her waking up mid procedure is nerve wracking. When the spider does, Rexy freezes and almost causes her student Cali Ann to get killed.
INT. ANTI-VENOM LAB – DAY
[…]
REXY
Atticus, once more with the CO2.
KEATON
How much is enough?
REXY
We just want to anesthetize her, not euthanize her.
Atticus and Rexy coordinate another spraying, then watch. Teras moves backwards into the cave structure.
CALI ANN
Is it ready?
REXY
Let’s find out.
ATTICUS
Can I perform the extraction? I mean, if I get bit, look at as penance for my bad jokes.
REXY
Very well.
Atticus slides open the lid and takes a pair of long tongs and slowly moves them to touch Teras on the face. Sweat breaks out on his forehead. Atticus looks up at Rexy. Rexy nods.
Teras strikes high up on the tongs!
ATTICUS
Whoa!
Atticus drops them, jerks his hand out, and closes the lid. Eyes grow wide around the room.
ATTICUS
Not enough.
REXY
Let’s give it another shot.
Rexy inserts the nozzle. Reese presses the handle. CO2 fog swirls to fill the whole tank.
REXY
That’s enough.
A sluggish Teras climbs up through the fog on top of the cave structure. She raises her butt upward and emits a stream of silk, attaching it to the lid.
She turns upside down. Each leg reaches up to grab hold of the single strand. She sleeps, dangling midair.
KEATON
What’s she doing?
REXY
Cali Ann? Care to explain?
CALI ANN
When a spider experiences freezing temperatures, it will often take this posture to keep her vital organs warm.
REESE
She’s going into a sleep state, to conserve energy.
ATTICUS
Doc. I can tell already. The terrarium is too deep. I’m going to need her out on the table to perform the extraction.
KEATON
Are you kidding?
REXY
We should be okay, Keaton. Cali, take the other end of the lid and we’ll lift her over together.
Cali Ann complies.
REXY
One, two, three.
They lift the spider out, swing her over to the tray, and lay her down.
REXY
Reese, scrape off the silk from the lid.
The spider’s legs in the air.
REXY
Let’s do this quick. Cali Ann, get me another pari of tongs.
She complies. Rexy uses the tongs to turn the spider over and hold it down.
REXY
Cali Ann hold the tongs. Reese, turn on the vacuum pump.
They comply. Rexy moves aside.
REXY
Atticus, she’s all yours.
Atticus moves in place. He uses a one-foot-long wooden stick the width of a toothpick to force out the shiny, black fangs.
Rexy positions the small glass nozzle of the pump near Teras’ fangs.
Atticus strokes the fangs up and down. Slowly a bead of the deadly venom forms on one fang. Rexy vacuums it into the glass nozzle.
REXY
We need more than that.
Atticus strokes the fangs up and down. Nothing comes.
ATTICUS
She’s not producing this way.
REXY
We’ll have to hook her up.
Rexy raps Teras’s upper body with wire and tape, and attaches an alligator clip to the wire.
KEATON
Fill me in, here.
REXY
An electric circuit will deliver a twelve-volts shock when we touch her mouth with the other end.
While holding the fangs out with the toothpick, Atticus takes a small rod with an alligator clip attached to it and touches Teras’s mouth.
The spider jumps. The people jump as well. The spider relaxes and so do the people.
We get a close up of Teras’s face as LARGE BEADS OF VENOM form on both FANGS. Rexy vacuums them into the glass nozzle.
REXY
One more?
ATTICUS
Okay.
Rexy delivers the jolt. Large venom beads form. Rexy vacuums them up. This time, TERAS’S LEGS START TO FLEX.
REESE
Is she waking up?
CALI ANN
What do I do?
REXY
Get her in the terrarium. Quick. Don’t drop her.
Cali Ann lifts her off the tray with the tongs and moves her over the terrarium. Teras goes into a frenzy, fighting the tongs and the wire wrap.
Rexy, uncharacteristically freezes and backs up. Keaton frowns at her. Teras clings to the tongs and bites them.
CALI ANN
It won’t let go. What do I do?
Rexy is speechless. Keaton frowns in surprise.
Teras emits silk and uses her legs to encase the tongs.
CALI ANN
What do I do?
KEATON
Let go of it all.
Teras and the tongs crash into the terrarium. Rexy reaches for the lid and knocks it off the table. Atticus picks it up and slams it in place.
ATTICUS
Whew! What a temper.
Keaton puts the weight on top. Rexy sees that Cali Ann is shaking. She hugs her, trying to mask her own fear.
[…]
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Ken Wood’s Level 1 Horror Emotion Scene
This lesson clarified for me how to keep my horror story momentum escalating by using the main “horror emotions” at the right times.
Outline
ACT 1, Scenes 1 and 2:
Scene 1
One of the five Crewmen on the Brazilian Cargo Boat encounters some sticky spider webbing among the bananas. Apprehension
We see only a spider’s leg among the banana crates. Apprehension/Anxiety and Surprise
Scene 2
As the boat reaches the American sea port, it slams into the dock over and over again and the Captain will not turn off the engine. Apprehension and Surprise
The spider has killed four people. Anxiety/Shock
The spider has also tried to break into the Captain’s room via the reinforced glass window, but has only broken it. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Anxiety/Shock
The Captain is locked in his cabin, too hysterical to turn off the boat. all he can say is Aranha (Portuguese for Spider). Anxiety/Shock
The Port Supervisor decides to go down into the engine room to shut the engine off. Apprehension
______________
Actual Scenes:
Act 1, Pt. 1
EXT. SHIPPING PORT, BRAZIL – DAY
OLD CARGO BOAT
Four Brazilian CREWMEN(ages: 60, 40, and two 20s) and their CAPTAIN, CÉASAR ANDRADE(40s), load and stack by hand, CRATES OF GREEN BANANAS three-high onto the deck.
Crewman #1 heaves a final crate in place. He notice some light spider webbing close by. Alarmed he drops it and looks around for a spider.
Nothing. He wipes off the webbing. It’s unusually sticky and tough to get off his hands. He walks away down the plank.
We catch a glimpse of a large, hairy spider’s leg slipping in between bananas in another crate. Disappearing.
The Captain enters the cabin and starts the engine. Black smoke belches from the exhaust. The Crewmen drag a large canvas tarp over the produce, creating a black out.
EXT. SHIPPING PORT, U.S.A – DAY
DOCK
The Cargo Boat creeps toward the dock, ENGINE PUTTERING at low speed. The boat SLAMS into the dock. CRACK. Its motor continues to RAM the boat into the dock and bounce off.
The livid DOCK SUPERVISOR and a DOCK WORKER run and jump on board. No one is on deck. Strange. The Dock Supervisor shakes the cabin door handle. It’s locked. Frustrated, he pounds on the door.
DOCK SUPERVISOR
Captain. Turn off your engine. You’re damaging my dock.
He peers into the murky, reinforced glass window. He’s startled. The glass has been shattered with the pattern of a spider web.
DOCK SUPERVISOR
Captain. Turn off your engine and open this freakin’ door.
The Captain’s hysterical chants become audible.
CAPTAIN (O.S.)
Aranha. Aranha.
The Port Supervisor BANGS some more. The Captain’s shaking hand creeps up from the bottom of the window. His terrified face slowly rises and peers out the window left and right.
CAPTAIN
Aranha. Aranha.
DOCK SUPERVISOR
What’s he saying?
The Dock Worker approaches the door to listen and read lips.
DOCK WORKER
Aranha. He’s saying aranha. It’s Portuguese for spider.
DOCK SUPERVISOR
(to Captain)
Aranha. Where?
The Captain looks to the right and left again. Then shakes his head.
DOCK WORKER
He doesn’t know where it went.
PORT SUPERVISOR
I’m going down into the engine room to shut it off.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Kenneth Wood.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by
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Word to my classmates. This exercise is laborious, but very critical. You may first be asked for an outline or treatment of your story by a producer or agent before they ask for the script. This exercise will come in handy.
Ken Wood’s Horror Outline Version 1
What I learned: Detailed Outlines with action descriptions and purposes for the action work to make the story fit the genre and also achieve a viable, original story! This was the first script that I spent several months just mulling over the outline, learning about the horror genre, and creating the story from beginning to end with actions that a rich in purpose and horror elements. Once I had this detailed outline essentially worked out, the story started flowing with much more intensity and speed. I have finished my first draft and have been tweaking the script with each new lesson. Hal seems to come up with one skill after another to help elevate a story and get it marketable.
Script Title: I LOST THE SPIDER
Genre: This is a horror-genre story with a mix of mystery and international thriller mixed in.
Logline: The longer an arachnologist keeps a mysterious, new, highly-venomous Amazonian spider alive, the more it kills and multiplies, and the questions remain, “How did this monster come to exist?” and, “Should it be allowed to live?”
ACT 1
EXT. SHIPPING PORT, BRAZIL – DAY p.1
A CAPTAIN and four family CREWMEN finish loading an old cargo boat with bananas. One of the crew finds some SPIDER webbing and finds it is unusually sticky and tough. We see the leg of a large spider disappear into the banana shipment.
EXT. SHIPPING PORT, U.S.A – DAY p.1
DOCK The old cargo boat slams into the dock, bounces and keeps slamming into the dock. The PORT SUPERVISOR and PORT ASSISTANT try to get the hysterical Captain to turn off the engine to no avail. Port Assistant goes down into the SLEEPING BIRTH, finds four Crewmen’s dead bodies, and is horrified. Port Supervisor goes down into the ENGINE ROOM to turn off the engine. The Spider kills him. Port Assistant watches the death and is horrified again. The Captain comes and shuts the engine room hatch and locks the Spider in.
INT. PORT AUTHORITY OFFICE – CONTINUOUS p.7
The distraught Captain sits in a chair blurting out, in Portuguese, details of the deaths to state medical examiner KEATON and Port Assistant.
EXT. DOCK/BOAT – CONTINUOUS p.9
SHERIFF MAUER investigates and gives us a closer look at the dead Crewmen in the sleeping birth. He gets halfway down into the engine room when Keaton comes running warning that the killer Spider is still down there. The Spider tries to catch him with a silk strand. The Sheriff has to cut the silk off of his pants to escape.
INT. ANTI-VENOM RESEARCH LAB – CONTINUOUS p.12
White light with a blurry, out-of-focus, dark thing suspended in air. A spider comes into focus. DR. REXY LAMBERT, arachnologist, and two lab assistants, REESE ROBBINS and CALI ANN NICHOLE are in a venom extraction process as Keaton’s call comes to Rexy to assist him in this “killer spider case”.
INT. MORGUE – DAY p.15
Keaton and Rexy must visit the CORONER to get a tissue sample from the deceased in order to identify the genus and species of the spider. This is a gross out moment. They identify similarities with the Phoneutria Feras , the most poisonous spider in the world, but also realize the venom and digestive juices are many times more toxic and corrosive.
INT. KEATON’S AUTOMOBILE – CONTINUOUS p.17
Driving. Rexy chatters away while Keaton drives. They talk about their former love lives and why they broke up. Rexy eludes to a deep dark secret, but does not divulge it to Keaton.
EXT. BOAT DOCK, PARKING LOT – DAY p.21
Keaton meets up with Rexy, who lugs a suitcase out of her vehicle and shuts the door. ATTICUS XANDERMAN, arachnologist from Brazil, mysteriously shows up and dispels any thought of killing the spider on sight, claiming the spider, while new, is a protected species. A tense-filled search produces nothing. The spider is in the clothes of the Port Supervisor. They use rope to get the body of the Port Supervisor out. His knife belt gets stuck on a ladder rung. Keaton goes back down to unhook the body, thinking the Spider is gone. The body falls on Keaton, pinning him to the floor. A head bump causes him to be in a daze. The Spider stalks him. Dread/Suspense. At the last second Rexy catches the Spider in a mechanical net. Terror.
ACT 2
INT. UNIVERSITY ENTOMOLOGY WING – DAY p.32
Walking down the HALL to the ANTI_VENOM LABORATORY Atticus references the gruesome closeup poster-sized photos of Spider faces, calling it the Hall of Horrors (Another gross out moment). We finally get to see the Spider in all its grotesque features. When Reese and Cali Ann arrive, a venom extraction is attempted and almost goes awry. Tension and terror.
INT. UNIVERSITY HORSE STABLE – DAY p.43
Rexy takes the venom to JACK(60s), the HORSE BARN manager. Atticus goes with her and learns which horse, GEORGIE, is used to produce the anti-venom. We learn that Atticus is working for CIA Operatives who want the venom but absolutely no anti-venom. Atticus is there, not to help, but to get the Spider back at all costs.
INT. REXY’S CAR – CONTINUOUS p.45
A text message from Keaton pops up on her cell phone. DINNER? The “B” story of Keaton’s love interest is furthered.
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT p.45
Keaton finally gets Rexy to explain why she decided to not pursue a Pathology Degree with Keaton and, instead, transferred to another college to get a degree in Entomology. Rexy reveals she is the cause of her sister’s death at the fangs of a killer spider.
EXT. COUNTRY FARM – DAY p.47
Rexy describes, with an accompanying flashback, how she had purposely aggravated a MOTHER SPIDER with a rock. When sister, DARLA, pushes Rexy back, Rexy pushes Darla onto the egg sac. A thousand baby spiders being to swarm Darla, and the Mother Spider attacks her.
INT. COUNTRY HOUSE – CONTINUOUS p.48
She runs up the stairs, into her bedroom, and cowers in the closet. Rexy froze and ran back to the house and hid in her closet. She didn’t tell her parents about the Spider’s attack until an hour later, when it was too late. Terror, horror, shock.
INT. RESTAURANT – CONTINUOUS p.48
Keaton consoles her, “You were a young child, too young to realize consequences.
EXT. RESTAURANT, VERANDA – CONTINUOUS p.49
The night is warm. String lights and large potted plants make this a romantic spot. Keaton asks for a second chance at the relationship. They kiss.
INT. ANTI-VENOM RESEARCH LAB – NIGHT p.51
Reese and Cali Ann are tasked with feeding the lab creatures, including Teras. After Reese feeds Teras, he gets interested in making out with Cali Ann and fatally forgets to put the weight back on the lid of Teras’s enclosure. Teras gets out and kills Cali Ann. Teras blinds Reese with irritating urticating hairs. These also restrict his breathing. We feel the additional terror of fighting off a deadly creature while blind. Teras finally kills Reese. In a gross out display we see Teras spray Reese with digestive juices which dissolve his face. He then plasters his head to the wall with silk.
INT. UNIVERSITY HORSE STABLE – NIGHT p.55
We see a pen light down at the end of the corridor going from one stall to the next. It’s Atticus. He uses a Brazilian bamboo poison to kill Georgie.
ACT 2 MIDPOINT
INT. ANTI-VENOM RESEARCH LAB – NIGHT p.56
We see Teras use her pedipalps to break glass. Then, in a display of raw aggressiveness and superior fighting and killing abilities, Teras takes on the other venomous creatures in the lab, starting with a spider and ending with the King Cobra. In the morning Rexy discovers Reese and Cali Ann and all of the lab creatures dead. She calls Keaton. She also hears from Jack that he has given George, the horse, an antidote which reverses the bamboo poison. Rexy is so distraught, Keaton tells her to go home while he and Atticus find the “lost” spider again. The spider escapes the lab in Rexy’s large purse.
INT. REXY’S VEHICLE – DAY p.58
Rexy drives through her residential neighborhood. Next to her is her oversized purse with Teras inside. Teras does not attack, because she is exhausted and engorged with feasting on Reese and the lab creatures from the following night. It is also day and the Phoneutria Genus of spiders primarily hunt at night.
INT. ANTI-VENOM RESEARCH LAB – MORNING p.59
HALLWAY. Atticus gets a call from the CIA Operatives and disappears. He is threatened to get the spider back.
INT. CIA HEADQUARTERS – CONTINUOUS p.63
We finally see Anon(50s), a rugged CIA operative with the demeanor of a callused Nazi, vowing to kill Atticus. We find they have hired Atticus to crossbreed spiders to create the fastest and deadliest acting venom to use in their ballistic, assassination program deemed, QUICK KILL. If the bullet doesn’t kill you the venom will. Smart Horror!
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE ANTI-VENOM LAB – CONTINUOUS p.64
Atticus pockets his phone and goes into the lab where Keaton is consoling Rexy to go home while they look for the spider and take care of Reese’s and Cali Ann’s bodies. Rexy leaves with Teras in her purse.
EXT./INT. HORSE BARN – DAY p.65
Rexy stops at the horse barn to see Georgie has recovered. Jack gives her the first anti-venom vial. It’s not up to full anti-venom strength, but it may have some positive effect if needed.
INT. ANTI-VENOM RESEARCH LAB p.67
Keaton receives a call. Sheriff Mauer calls Keaton to tell him that he has found Atticus’s station is on the Pará River where the bamboo poison is found and close to the shipping port in Belém, where Captain Andrade’s company is based. The Sheriff found evidence of Atticus’s Dan and the bamboo poison on a glove Atticus accidentally left at the Horse Barn confirming Atticus poisoned Georgie and he is officially deemed a bad actor.
EXT./INT. REXY’S CAR – CONTINUOUS p.68
Rexy get’s in her car and starts the engine. The movement of the car, going from reverse to drive, causes the purse to shift and one of Teras’s legs comes out. Will the Spider come out and attack her while she is driving? Suspense!
EXT./INT. REXY’S HOME – CONTINUOUS p.68
Rexy swings her LARGE PURSE onto her shoulder and carries it to the front door. Tension fills the air. Will Teras attack. Not yet. Rexy puts the purse on a credenza in the entrance hall. Her daughter LILLY comes home. ROSCO, Rexy’s dog is so happy to see them and hungry for pancakes, he disregards the scent of the Spider in the purse, even though he looks at it. After pancakes, Rosco goes outside. Rexy goes upstairs and gets in the shower, and Lilly goes to her upstairs bedroom and lays down with a new video game, Donkey Kong. Lilly drifts off to sleep. The jungle sounds of the game attract Teras who climbs up on Lilly’s body and rest on her hands, still not in hunting mode. Lilly awakes and calls for her mother who is drying her hair. Suspense! Rexy finally turns off the hair dryer and hears Lilly’s pleas for help. Rexy in a bath towel tells Lilly to fling the spider off toward the door. Rexy takes a tennis racket to Teras but misses. Teras jumps on her towel. Terror! She knocks it off and Rosco engages the spider and fights with it down the stairs. Rosco gets bit, but, Rexy has anti-venom in her purse. She administers it and Rosco lives. Meanwhile Teras escapes out the back doggie door.
BACKYARD p.75
Teras climbs over the backyard gate and drops to the ground on a silk strand. She walks to the front yard where she picks up the scent of the port and the warehouse where her egg sacs are hidden among the bananas.
ACT 3
INT. KEATON’S AUTOMOBILE – CONTINUOUS p.80
Rexy and Keaton are driving toward the Port as Keaton tells Rexy that Atticus is based in the same area on the Para2 River that the bamboo poison is from and Captain Andrade’s shipping company operates out of. They finally deduce that Atticus, in a “GAIN-OF-FUNCTION” crossbreeding experiment created Teras from a Brazilian Wandering Spider and a Goliath Bird-Eating Tarantula. They also deduce that this aggressive and deadly species, if allowed to live and procreate, has the potential to create a plague which will endanger all other species and possibly humankind. SEQUEL!!!
EXT. SHIPPING PORT, U.S.A – CONTINUOUS p.81
Rexy opens the door and starts to get out. Keaton grabs two CO2 dispensers. They rush to Crutchfields Warehouse to look for Teras and any egg sacs that Teras may have left. We find that Bob Crutchfield distributed half of the bananas to the local grocery stores and didn’t inspect them throughly enough for all egg sacs. He found one and Rexy, Keaton and the Sheriff find another. Atticus and the CIA Operatives show up and, at gun point, take them, but drop them on the concrete floor when Teras shows up and threatens to attack them. The egg sacs burst open. Baby Terases swarm the CIA Operatives and Teras attacks and kills them. BOB CRUTCHFIELD grabs his homemade flamethrower and start to torch the baby Terases. Teras attacks Atticus and Keaton next. When Bob succumbs to the baby Terases, Sheriff Mauer grabs the flamethrower and torches the rest of the baby terases. Rexy tries to get the anti-venom to Keaton, but Atticus takes it and injects himself, leaving Keaton to die. Keaton tells Sheriff Mauer to shoot off the finger that Teras bit. The Sheriff complies in a gross out moment. Teras can’t get to Sheriff Mauer and attacks Rexy next. She is knocked to the floor, but manages to hold off a bite from the Spider until Keaton can knock Teras away from Rexy. Rexy then asks for the flamethrower from Sheriff Mauer and takes after Teras. Teras heads for the door, afraid of the flames, Rexy attempts to set her on fire. Only a spurt comes out and lands on the Spider’s back. Teras escapes out the door, while Rexy goes back to check on Bob. Bob goes into a seizure and dies.
EXT. DOCK – CONTINUOUS p.88
Teras limps across the dock platform in an escape, but it looks like she is still going to burn to death.
INT. ATTICUS’S VEHICLE – CONTINUOUS p.88
Atticus breathes heavily, pain down below comes in sharp pulses. Atticus, is feeling the painful cure of ED that the Phoneutria species is known for, only it is amplified. Morbid Humor.
EXT. DOCK AT OLD CARGO BOAT – CONTINUOUS p.89
Still on fire and SIZZLING, Teras drags herself to the edge of the dock and stops. She molts, leaving her burning exoskeleton behind and boards the Old Cargo Boat, the one she came in on. She climbs down into the Engine Room and up into a corner where she has laid another undiscovered, large, egg sac. We feel dread that a spider plague is about to visit the world. Set up for SEQUEL!!!
DOCK p.90
Sheriff Mauer walks toward the exoskeleton thinking it is the whole spider. He crushes it and sweeps it into the water with his foot.
EXT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT p.90
Keaton, Rexy, and Lilly exit onto a sidewalk and take a stroll. We see that they are together as a couple and potential family.
INT. GROCERY STORE – NIGHT p.91 Rexy, Keaton walk past a kiosk with bananas. They instinctively look for spiders. Seeing none, they walk past. However, as the camera stays on the bananas, we see one baby Teras spider. As another customer lifts a cluster of bananas out of the crate, we see an egg sac with another baby Teras coming out. It screeches and jumps on the Camera Lense, creating a FINAL BLACKOUT.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Kenneth Wood.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by
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Ken Wood’s Character Journey Track
This assignment helped me assess the depth and arcs of each of my lead characters. I did find room for improvement.
Dr. Rexy Lambert,
A. Role
1 Role: Arachnologist tasked with
Capturing and studying the new species of spider.
Creating an anti-venom.2 Traits: High school socialite turned into geeky entomologist.
3 Fears: Being found out for neglecting to get help for her sister when she was attacked and killed by a spider when they were children.
Afraid if anyone, especially Keaton found out, he would hate her. So, she chose to go to a different college.
4 Wants/Needs :
Has dedicated her life to creating anti-venoms as a kind of penance.
Actually has a deep-seated fear of spiders when she can’t control the environment.5 Likability / Rooting factors:
She is personable. Likes lite banter. Works well with college students. Her daughter loves her. She is gentle to the horse which has to take on dilutions of the venom in order for him to create anti-bodies. She lovers her dog and saves his life.
When we learn that she feels responsible for her sisters death from a spider attack she caused, and that she has tried to make up for it as an anti-venom scientist, we feel deeply for her.
6 How they react under stress: Rexy freezes when the Spider wakes up during a venom-extraction procedure. It’s just like the time the spider attacked her sister.
7 Relationship with other characters: She broke up with Keaton during college, and hadn’t kept contact until Keaton needed her on this case. Now, she realizes how much she really likes Keaton again.
She did marry someone else after college and had a child, but got divorced. She has been reticent to get involved since.
Rexy senses something is off with Atticus right away and disdains his crudeness. She is liked and respected by her classmates and Keaton.
B. What is their Character Journey for this story?
1 Character Intro: Rexy and two lab students are performing a venom extraction when Keaton calls. She gets curt with whoever it is until she hears Keaton say her name.
2 Denial: Makes lite of Keaton for making the spider sound like an apocalyptic alien invader.
3 Their reaction at first horror: Shocked at the rapid decomposition.
4 Relation to group after first horror: Still committed, but lets Keaton go down in the engine room to catch the spider.
5 How they fight back: Angry at herself for freezing during the spider’s wake up during the venom extraction.
6 End Point: When the spider hitchhikes a ride to her home and climbs up on her daughter, she really gets angry. When it bites her dog, she wants to hunt it down and kill it, listing six different ways.
7 What insight do their death or survival bring to the others/audience? When people she cares for start getting attacked by the spider, that’s when her courage overcomes her fear and she persists in stopping the spider.
Keaton Mercer
A. What is their Character Profile?
1 Role: State Medical Examiner tasked with investigating the string of deaths caused by the spider. He is the love interest of Rexy, and goes out of his way to help her and the sheriff capture the spider and solve the mystery of the spider’s sudden appearance on the planet.
2 Traits: Level-headed, problem-solver, bravest one on the team.
3 Fears: Losing Rexy again.
4 Wants/Needs: Wants Rexy for life.
5 Likability / Rooting factors: Brave, smart, good guy, helpful to Rexy, will banter with her, helps Rexy get over her guilt. Sacrifices a digit to live and be with Rexy.
6 How they react under stress: Level-headed, resourceful.
7 Relationship with other characters:
Still pines for Rexy and has remained unmarried all this time. Works well with the Sheriff.
B. What is their Character Journey for this story?
1 Character Intro: Asks Rexy to join the case and wants to keep the relationship purely professional at first.
2 Denial: Doesn’t think the spider is as resourceful and ferocious as it really is, therefore, he puts himself in a dangerous position down in the engine room.
3 Their reaction at first horror: Sickened and extremely cautious about going after the spider until he knows more about it. He is able to bravely carry out his duties.
4 Relation to group after first horror: Is the coordinator who gets the team assembled with arachnologists.
5 How they fight back: Keaton makes the plan to capture the spider and though things go wrong, nearly getting himself killed, the plan succeeds.
6 End Point: Keaton goes above and beyond, never leaving Rexy to deal with the spider alone. He is there for her when things go wrong and aids the sheriff in uncovering Atticus’s hidden part in the creation of the new species. He also tries to save Atticus by knocking the spider off of him, and gets bit in the process.
7 What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? Provides an excellent role model as a public servant, and as a man looking out for his friends, and the woman he loves.
He survives even though bit by asking the sheriff to shoot off his finger, showing he’s willing to make the toughest of calls.
We also learn that his ambitiousness during college years, caused Rexy to feel like he wasn’t sensitive enough as a partner, so she broke it off. But, now, he was able to demonstrate that he is a better listener and values her more deeply now than ever before.
Atticus Xanderman
A. What is their Character Profile?
1 Role: Arachnologist who secretly crossbred the most venomous spider with the largest spider to create a venomous spider ten-times more dangerous than any other.
2 Traits: Intelligent. Tells off-color jokes. Motivated to create the spider for money.
3 Fears: Being exposed. Getting bit. Afraid of what his dangerous employers will do to him if he doesn’t get the spider back.
4 Wants/Needs : Wants to get the spider back in Brazil, under control, making venom for his employers. Thus, getting back to normal.
5 Likability / Rooting factors: Irreverently funny. He has a sadistic/obsessive relationship with spiders.
6 How they react under stress: Responds to stress in quirky, humorous ways.
7 Relationship with other characters: Feigns being helpful when all he really wants is to get the spider back. Feels he’s always saying or doing something that Rexy does not like, but makes a joke about “being in trouble” with her anyway. This only makes it worse.
B. What is their Character Journey for this story?
1 Character Intro: Shows up unannounced to help catch the spider. Immediately his irreverent humor spills out.
2 Denial: Denies having anything to do with creating the spider. Yet, tries to make Rexy and Keaton believe that he must take the spider back to Brazil, soles because it is “protected under the Endangered Species program”.
3 Their reaction at first horror: Shocked at what his creation’s venom can do.
4 Relation to group after first horror: Feigns being helpful in creating an anti-venom, but tries to stop the process by poisoning the horse.
5 How they fight back: Atticus actually keeps them from killing the spider and tries to do the same for its offspring. When Rexy tries to give a dose of anti-venom to Keaton, he redirects the syringe meant for Keaton into his arm, leaving Keaton to possible die.
6 End Point: After Atticus takes the anti-venom, he flees the scene and separates completely from the group.
7 What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? His character is so quirky and intriguing that his survival gives the audience hope that there will be a sequel and that he will be in it.
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Ken Wood’s Monster Reveal Track
Concept: The longer an arachnologist keeps a mysterious, new, highly-venomous Amazonian spider alive, the more it kills and multiplies, and the questions remain, “How did this monster come to exist?” and, “Should it be allowed to live?”
This assignment helped me develop and pace the revelation of the monsters full personality, power, limitations and weaknesses. It also helped me parcel out the clues and seed them throughout the entire story.
A. Monster Description and Terror
My monster is a mega spider called Phoneutria TERAS, a crossbreed between the most venomous and deadly spider, Phoneutria Feras, and the largest spider, the Goliath Bird-Eating Tarantula.
It’s Terror
Powers:
Deadliest and quickest venom/poison known to man.
Highly cunning, fast thinking, aggressive.
Injects its venom, in 60 seconds the victim goes into paralysis for a few seconds, then violent seizure.
The spider injects or sprays victims with corrosive digestive juices which cause pustules to rise and burst, and dissolve tissue.
It can flick its pedipalps against glass and break it.
It can shake its legs and emit urticating hairs which can irritate eyes and lungs and cause them to swell rapidly.
Its face is grotesque.
It is fearless
It kills anything, human, animal, or insect that it thinks is a threat to it or its offspring.
It thinks everything is a threat.
It is so aggressive and deadly that the lead Arachnologist determines that it will create a species that will endanger ever other species on the planet.Limitations:
It is a biological creature, therefore subject to fire, drowning, suffocation, being shot, stabbed, or smashed, etc. The problem is, it is so quick, and evasive, it eludes most attempts.
Weaknesses:
It can be put to sleep by being sprayed with a heavy dose of CO2.
It can be lured with jungle sounds, and the smells of home among the banana shipment which came from her place of Origin, the Pará River in north Brazil.
Plan/Purpose/Appetite
We find late in the story, it came on the banana boat, because it had planted a number of egg sacs in the banana clusters that the Brazilian-based Andrade Produce Company had harvested. It boarded the boat to America to watch over it’s egg sacs. When captured, separated from the banana shipment, and taken captive in the Anti-Venom lab, the spider fights, and kills to get free. It not only kills to protect, but kills to provide food for its offspring. In short it has an ultra-obsessive mothering instinct. Its plan is to get back to her egg sacs at the warehouse and the banana boat.
B. Sequence the reveals.
Opening/prologue: Start the mystery of the monster by showing us the result of their violence.
One of the crewmen encounters some sticky spider webbing among the bananas.
We see only a spider’s leg among the banana crates on the Brazilian Cargo Boat.
During 1st Act: Foreshadowing as clues
As the boat reaches the American sea port, it has killed four people. The Captain is locked in his cabin, too afraid to turn off the boat which keeps battering and bouncing off the dock.
The spider kills the Port Supervisor down in the engine room. We do not see the spider, but see what its bite and digestive juices do to a human. We also see the power and strength of its silk to reel in and subdue its prey.
1st Act turning point: Characters are locked into horror
Sheriff Mauer and State Med. Examiner, Keaton Mercer are tasked with investigating the deaths on the boat. Keaton enlists arachnologist, Dr. Rexy Lambert to help with the spider bite toxicology assessment.
Atticus Xanderman, a Brazilian arachnologist, mysteriously shows up to “help” but is really there to get the spider back. Turns out he is the breeder and has done so to make the world’s deadliest and quickest acting poison. Rexy’s toxicology report confirms, the venom is indeed most deadly and quick acting.
Sheriff Mauer is first to view the decaying corpses of the four Crewmen, a reveal of the lethality and rapid decomposition potency of the venom of the spider.
Keaton/Rexy/Atticus are tasked with removing it from the engine room. The spider’s stealth and stalking is revealed in this engine room scene. We still do not see the spider fully as it descends upon a pinned-down Keaton.
In this scene, they manage to trap it in a mechanical net, triggered to clam shut with the push of a button on the long handle. They also spray it with CO2 further masking our clear view of the spider. However, we see it violently rage like a caught fish.
1st half of 2nd Act: The monster is present, but hidden
The spider is taken to Rexy’s Anti-Venom Laboratory, where an attempt will be made to extract venom from it for the purpose of creating an anti-venom.
My monster reveal is like Steven Spielberg’s monster dinosaurs in Jurassic Park, where we saw the raptors, and the Tyrannosaurus rex in his ACT 2. We got a taste of their cunning and ferocity, but the fun dose came in ACT 3.
Mighty Joe Young is another example of the Monster tracked and captured in ACT 1 and studies and examined in ACT 2.
In the lab, we reveal other aspects of the spider, namely, that it takes a heavier dose of CO2 than any other spider, snake or scorpion. It actually wakes up while the venom extraction is taking place and nearly goes on the attack.
The extraction scene creates tension in having this spider out in the open. We think it’s going to sleep through the whole procedure, but surprises them by waking up. It rages viciously against the tongs which hold it, frightening everyone. They barely get it back in its glass enclosure.
Midpoint: Monster is worse than we thought
2nd half of 2nd Act: Monster pursuing / attacking characters, delivering clues with each attackAt feeding time later that day, College lab assistants, Reese Robins and Cali Ann Nichole return to the lab for feeding. Reese feeds the spider, but doesn’t heed instructions to put the weight back on the lid of the spiders enclosure. Instead, he gets distracted with romancing Cali Ann.
The spider gets out, showing its cunning, and attacks and kills the students.
We then see its ferocity as it proceeds to get in the cages of each venomous creature and kills them. We see its power to use its pedipalps to break glass to get into a spider’s enclosure.
We see the spider’s ultimate superiority when it takes on and defeats the lab’s King Cobra in an epic battle.
When Keaton, Atticus and Rexy do a thorough search for the spider in the lab, the spider, cunningly sneaks into Rexy’s large purse and stays hidden until she gets to her home to be with her daughter Lilly and dog, Rosco. We learn that the spider can become exhausted and full after feeding, that it is in resting mode at this point. It also becomes more lethargic in the day. It’s species, the Brazilian Wandering Spider only hunts at night.
3rd Act: Characters solve the puzzle and fight back, apparently killing monster
When Lilly moves to her upstairs bedroom and plays a video game with jungle sounds, we learn that the spider can be lured and calmed that way. Lilly does not get bitten, even though the spider crawls up on her in her bed. We discover that the spider has superior hearing and association of sounds with environments.
When the dog gets bit by the spider in a fight, Rexy uses the anti-venom on the dog, saving its life.
The spider’s resourcefulness kicks in again, as it finds a way to escape out the doggie door. Outside, it smells the aroma of the banana shipment and makes her way to Crutchfields Produce Warehouse where they are being held. We discover that the spider has superior sense of smell. Her babies are where the bananas are.
Sheriff Mauer, Keaton and Rexy head toward the Warehouse as well, thinking they must check to see if the spider has laid eggs and is trying to get back to them. Atticus, who had previously separated from them also appears at the warehouse with two CIA Operatives. Two egg sacs are found, one by Bob Crutchfield and the other by Sheriff/Keaton/Rexy. We learn that the spider is highly prolific.
The CIA Operatives attempt to take them. But the mother spider appears and readies to attack them. They drop the banana clusters causing the egg sacs to burst open, letting out two thousand baby spiders. They prove to be just as aggressive and swarm the CIA Operatives. The mother spider attacks and kills them, herself. Then bites Atticus and Keaton. Rexy tried to give Keaton a shot of anti-venom but Atticus deflects the shot into his own arm. The stronger anti-venom works. He survives. Without an anti-venom, Keaton has seconds to live, when the Sheriff provides a crazy solution— to shoot off the finger where he was bitten. Keaton survives.
Bob Crutchfield pulls out a homemade flamethrower which he has used throughout the years to incinerate Brazilian Wandering Spiders when they showed up in the bananas. He begins to incinerate the baby spiders successfully. However, he is overcome by the baby spiders which are now biting him and dies. The sheriff picks up the flamethrower and pursues the mother spider to the door. She sees all of her babies burning and dying and gives up. In this scene, we learn that she fears fire.
The sheriff sprays her, but only a little comes out and lands on her back. The spider flees out the door of the warehouse, across the dock and boards the Brazilian Cargo Boat. She goes into the engine room, still with fire upon her back. She climbs up to the ceiling in a corner where we learn of another egg sac. It is throbbing with baby spiders. We learn she is indeed extremely prolific.
Resolution: Survivors live…but somehow, the monster is still alive for the sequel
Rexy/Sheriff/Keaton have survived. Atticus has survived and run away.
In the engine room we see the mother spider’s exoskeleton crack down the top and a new, unburnt spider, larger and more grotesque emerge. We learn she can molt and is not fully grown to her full potential.
Just as the spider has boarded, we face a new twist, the Captain boards the boat with new crew and departs for the open ocean and Brazil.
As Rexy, Keaton and Lilly go to the grocery store and see crates of bananas. These came from Crutchfields and had not been thoroughly inspected for the spider’s egg sacs. There is a small one at the bottom of the crate which we only see after Rexy/Keaton/Lilly have moved on to get apples and leave.
These two scenes create the set up for a sequel where the characters will have to deal with, not only the mother spider, but the spider plague which comes from her egg sacs.
C. Create Demand for each clue/reveal.
Throughout each ACT and sub-point of the story, we discover more about the spider’s lethality, cunning, and ferocity.
We also learn that her species is biological and can be subdued with CO2, killed with fire, lured with sounds and smell, and an anti-venom created by Rexy’s university team does work. So, we have hope.
Keaton, Rexy and the Sheriff work together to discover Atticus’s role in creating this “gain-of-function” spider.
Much like the Covid-19 virus was believed to have been manipulated in the Wuhan Lab, making it contagious among humans and causing millions to contract it and many die, the spider in this story will go on to create a plague with even greater challenges to overcome.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Kenneth Wood.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Kenneth Wood.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by
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Ken Wood’s Character Death Track
Concept: The longer an arachnologist keeps a mysterious, new, highly-venomous Amazonian spider alive, the more it kills and multiplies, and the questions remain, “How did this monster come to exist?” and, “Should it be allowed to live?”
Deaths 1-4
Crewmen aboard the Banana Cargo Ship
Why? To establish the atmosphere of horror in the opening two scenes. To establish that this is no ordinary spider, but one of cunning, ferocity, aggressiveness, and lethality.
How? We don’t see these deaths, we see these men who have been killed in their bunks in the sleeping birth of the ship.
Death 5
Port Supervisor
Why? Deny’s the warnings of the Captain, who is telling him there is a spider on board.
How? The Captain goes below deck into the engine room to shut off the engine in anger, rather than find out first why the Captain is so hysterically insane.
Death 6
Cali Ann, University student and lab assistant in the Anti-Venom Lab
Why? A character is in denial of the seriousness of the danger the spider poses. It increases the horror.
She dies because she and her boyfriend, Reese, also a lab assistant, disregard safety protocols and use their time in the lab for romance instead of feeding the creatures. They carelessly fail to put the weight back on the lid of the highly-dangerous Spider’s enclosure.
How? Teras, the spider, sneaks up behind her, while she and Reese are kissing. Crawls up her back and bites her.
Death 7
Reese Robbins, University student and lab assistant in the Anti-Venom Lab
Why? A character is in denial of the seriousness of the danger the spider poses. It increases the horror.
Reese disregards safety protocols and uses his and Cali Anns time in the lab for romance instead of feeding the creatures. They carelessly fail to put the weight back on the lid of the highly-dangerous Spider’s enclosure.
How? Teras, the spider, emits urticating hairs from its legs into Reese’s eyes and lungs. These are extreme irritants which spiders use to blind and restrict breathing in their prey. When Teras is finished with Cali Ann, Teras stalks Reese, who is now blinded, Reese tries to put of a good fight, but Teras bites him in the face. We then see Teras feast on Reese’s face.
Deaths 8-12
King Cobra and other Venomous Creatures in the lab
Why? We see an even greater example of the monster’s ferocity, cunning, aggressiveness, and lethality in defeating other venomous creatures. We establish the fact, that if Teras and any offspring are allowed to live as a new species, that they may endanger hundreds, if not thousands of other species, perhaps even the human species.
How? Teras finishes killing Cali Ann and Reese. A nearby spider provokes Teras. Teras exhibits a skill, she can tap glass with her pedipalps so hard, she can break it. Teras does this to get into the other spider’s terrarium and kill it. She goes on to kill everything in the lab by entering their enclosures.
Deaths 13, 14
Anon, a CIA Agent, and his Fellow Associate
Why? Denial of a character. Immoral guys meet their deaths.
How? The CIA Operatives enter the warehouse with Atticus to retrieve the egg sacs which Teras has laid among the bananas. Teras arrives and sees they have the egg sacs in their hands. They are warned to drop them, which they do. This causes the egg sacs to split open and thousands of baby spiders swarm out and over the men. Teras attacks and kills Anon first, then his Fellow Associate.
Death 15
Bob Crutchfield, Owner of Crutchfield’s Produce Warehouse
Why? Denial of danger. Careless in not inspecting the banana crates more thoroughly. We see that their venom will be as strong as their mother’s, Teras.
How? He tries to fight the spiders and Teras with his homemade flamethrower, but the baby spiders bite him enough that their venom finally defeats him.
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Ken Wood’s Horror Situation Track
This extensive list of horror situations is a great checklist. It helps to expand my creative thinking on other elements of horror to add in my story.
Concept: The longer an arachnologist keeps a mysterious, new, highly-venomous Amazonian spider alive, the more it kills and multiplies, and the questions remain, “How did this monster come to exist?” and, “Should it be allowed to live?”
Horror Elements and Reactions by ACTS and Scenes:
ACT 1
Crew trapped on boat at sea. Reaction – Reactions: Captain feels trapped, hysterical, Rexy, Keaton and Sheriff horrified.
Port Supervisor isolated in engine room – Trapped, face to face, Isolated. Reaction – Horror of Port Assistant
Bob continues on as if business as usual, even though five people have just been killed – Denial
Team forced to go into engine room – forced into a dangerous environment, Lured into Horror. Reaction: Fear, Trepidation, Suspense, Dread
Keaton pinned down when body falls on him in engine room – Isolation, Face to face with monster – forced into a dangerous situation. Reaction: Panic
Extracting venom from the spider, who is not entirely asleep – deceptive, face to face with monster, Threatened. Reaction: Escape by containing the spider again.
Atticus shows up out of the blue – Unknown motive
ACT 2
As Teras wakes up during venom extractions, Rexy freezes – a character refuses to take action
Reese plays around in lab. Doing something forbidden. He gets hit in the face with urticating hairs and – cannot see. These are spooky situations – attacked. Reaction: Denial
Reese sees Cali Ann – attacked – watches someone else tortured and killed
Reese is attacked and killed, Horror, Escape
Teras tortures and kills all other venomous species in lab, including King Cobra Reaction: Creatures try to escape. Cobra tries to fight.
Rexy discovers Reese and Cali Ann dead in lab – Loses it, hysteria
Atticus tries to poison the horse being used to create the anti-venom.
Teras climbs up on Rexy’s daughter – Face to face with monster, Daughter in danger. Reaction: Fight
Rexy tries to help daughter and Teras jumps on her while she is only in a bath towel – Helping a good person and being attacked, feeling overly exposed
Rexy’s dog, Rosco, attacks the spider – trying to help a good person and gets attacked. Reaction: Fear of loss when Rosco gets bitten.
ACT 3
Atticus has been thwarting plans to exterminate the spider. Working with someone, who turns out to be evil – a deceptive situation.
CIA Operatives show up at Warehouse – Menacing strangers.
Teras attacks and kills CIA Operatives – Horror
Teras goes for Keaton next – Friend in danger – Horror
Baby spiders kill Bob – Horror
Keaton is bitten – Attacked and injured Reaction of Rexy: Come to aid, fight off spiders
Sheriff offers to shoot off finger of Keaton, or he will die – debilitate to save Reaction:Make sacrifice to survive
Bob and Sheriff use flamethrower to torch baby spiders and Teras. Reaction:Fight
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Ken Wood’s Horror Plot
This lesson provided a sound horror plot outline for me to check my story against.
Concept: The longer an arachnologist keeps a newly-discovered, Amazonian spider alive, the more it kills and multiplies, and the question must be answered, where did this monster originate?
ACT 1- Set Up for Horror
Atmosphere of evil established:
A Brazilian-based Banana boat arrives in America with four dead CREWMEN and one CAPTAIN who has gone mad, trying not to be killed by the Spider that savagely attacked his Crew. The boat keeps driving into the dock and bumping off, until the Port Supervisor goes below to turn off the engine. The Spider kills him. We don’t see the Spider yet, just his rapidly decaying victims.
Connect with the Characters:
We feel pity for the Captain.The Crewmen were the Captain’s family. <div>
Arachnologist, DR. REXY LAMBERT, Dir. of Entomology at University, is asked by…
State Med. Examiner, KEATON MERCER to help with the toxicology tests to determine the type of spider.
Rexy and Keaton were an item until Rexy, with no explanation, opted to change colleges and moved away. They broke up, but she regrets having done so. Maybe this time things will work out. We find that Rexy felt responsible for her sister’s death by spider attack, when they were children. This is why she chose to pursue arachnology at another college to make anti-venoms.
Keaton is problem solver and one to take the risks. He still really likes Rexy.County SHERIFF MAUER, a common-sense, law and order guy, tasks Rexy and Keaton to help him catch the spider. He has to ride
Bob Crutchfield all the time. He’s got a Sam Elliot-type personality.
Brazilian-based ATTICUS XANDERMAN shows up unannounced to help, claiming he heard reports of the deaths before the boat reached America. He’s knowledgeable, but a crude joker, and he has a something to hide. He has a Jeff Goldblum personality.
Owner of the food company, Crutchfields, BOB CRUTCHFIELD whines about the money he has tied up in the banana shipment. We don’t know if he will abide by the quarantine that the Sheriff put on the bananas.
College lab assistants, REESE ROBBINS and CALI ANN NICHOLE, help Rexy extract venom from the various creatures in the lab. They like each other. Cali Ann is a little more reserved. Reese is a bit of a dare-devil. They like each other a lot.
We later meet Rexy’s Daughter, LILLY, and her dog, ROSCO, who will experience close encounters with the spider at the end of ACT 2
We later meet…CIA Operative, ANON and his ASSOCIATE. They are funding Atticus.
JACK is the animal caretaker of the Anti-Venom Horse Barn.
GEORGIE is the gentle horse that helps produce the anti-venoms.
The VENOMOUS CREATURES of the Lab. They don’t seem to be aggressive until the spider, Teras agitates them and seeks to destroy them.
The Characters are warned not to do things
Reese and Cali Ann are warned to keep the weight on Teras’s Terrarium.
Bob Crutchfield is told not to release the banana produce out to the local stores until given the green light by the Sheriff
Everyone is warned to take extreme caution, but even the warning are not enough. No spider has the intelligence, strength and viciousness as Teras.Denial of Horror
Thinking that Teras was no longer in the engine room, Keaton Mercer, doesn’t keep his protective mask on while trying to retrieve the Port Supervisor’s body out of the engine room. The spider was in the Supervisor’s pants.
Reese Robbins doesn’t take Rexy’s warnings seriously and exposes Cali Ann and himself to Teras’s attack.
Bob Crutchfield has seen hitchhiking spiders before, even venomous ones. He doesn’t take this one seriously either, even though the spider killed five people before he received the shipment. His mind was on staying afloat and meeting his customer’s demands.
CIA Operatives don’t heed the warnings of the Spiders’ dangers.
Safety Taken Away
Keaton takes off his mask, thinking the Spider is no longer in the engine room. As he is trying to get the Supervisor’s body up the ladder, the Supervisor’s heavy body falls on him, pinning him to the floor. The Spider crawls out of his pants and moves in to attack Keaton.
Removing Teras out of her terrarium for a venom extraction, without giving it enough CO2 to put it totally asleep proved to almost be fatal.
Reese leaves off the weight and Teras gets out and attacks him and Cali Ann.
No one heeded the broken glass on the boat.Teras has powerful pedipalps that she flicks so hard they can crack glass. She breaks out of her terrarium and knows how to get in every other creature’s to kill them.
Teras hides in Rexy’s purse where she can attack Rexy at any moment. Rexy does not know that she has brought the Spider home, endangering her daughter and dog.
Bob Crutchfield does not contain the egg sacs well and the CIA Operatives mishandle them as well. This elicits their mother, Teras’s, most vicious and deadly attacks.
Monster, Nature of the Beast
TERAS is a vicious, venomous hybrid Spider. Super venomous, highly aggressive, intelligent, calculating, and elusive.
ACT 2 The Point of No Return
Isolated, Trapped or Abducted:
Trapped and Isolated.
Rexy, Keaton and Atticus capture the Spider and take it to the University Anti-Venom Lab, a room already full of venomous creatures, including a large King Cobra.
One of us is killed.
Reese Robbins carelessness gets Cali Ann and himself killed. </div>
MIDPOINT – The monster is worse than we thought. Full pursuit. Terrorized.
Recaptured, the Spider breaks out of its enclosure, attacks and kills all of the venomous creatures in the lab.
There is a big dual between the King Cobra where Teras prevails. Moments later, the night janitor, CARLOS dies.
When Rexy, Keaton, Atticus arrive at the lab, the spider is no where to be found. It has slipped into Rexy’s purse and hitchhikes to Rexy’s house.There, the Spider climbs up on Rexy’s daughter’s sleeping body while Rexy is taking a shower. When Rexy finally hears her daughter’s pleas for help, she has the added fear of being not fully clothed. She gets the spider off her daughter, but the spider then jumps on her towel. The Dog attacks the Spider and they get in a wrestling match that causes them to fall down the stairs. The Dog gets bitten. Rexy remembers she has a vial of untested anti-venom she had received from Jack. She administers it to Rosco, the Dog, and he lives, but Teras escapes out the back door and disappears into the neighborhood.
<div>
ACT 3 Full Out Horror
Fight to the death
Hysteria
The thrilling escape from death
Death returns to take one or more.</div>The Sheriff notifies Rexy and Keaton that an egg sac from the Spider has been found in the bananas. This is alarming to Rexy. If one spider is this dangerous, imaging a thousand more.
They go to the warehouse and find Bob sent out half the banana shipment to the local stores. He told them he put the egg sac he found on those in a trash can.
They search the other half of the bananas and find yet another egg sac.
They decide to destroy them by incineration.
Atticus and the CIA Operatives intervene and seek to take the egg sacs for one of their covert operations—they want the quick acting venom Teras and her offspring produce. They restrain Keaton and keep the rest at gun point.The CIA Operatives are careless with the eggs. Secretly, Teras, the mother, has made it back to in time to try and protect her offspring.
The egg sacs split open on the floor and two thousand spiders swarm, Keaton, and the CIA Operatives. Teras attacks and kills the CIA operatives. Atticus and Keaton get bitten and will die. Rexy starts to administer the anti-venom to Keaton, but Atticus grabs it and injects it into himself. Keaton says, grab the ax from the fire extinguisher cabinet and cut off my hand. Rexy complies and saves him.The Sheriff and Bob work together to douse the spiders in flammable insecticide and set them on fire. Teras rages.
Rexy ponders: Was Teras just obeying her strong motherly instinct to get back to, protect, and eradicate all potential threats to her offspring?
Rexy makes the tough decision and instructs them to spray Teras in a climatic moment.She lights Teras on fire.
Resolution and/or set up for sequel
Teras escapes out the building on fire and limps to the banana boat where she goes down into the engine room and climbs up to yet another egg sac she laid there. She molts out of her damaged outer body which is mistaken for her whole dead body. But, she has emerged new. She has also taken her egg sac and hid it in another part of the boat.
Captain Andrade has a new crew and leaves the port.
Rexy, Keaton and Lilly are finally together. They are just leaving a restaurant and decide to go into a local grocery store. A small spider, an offspring of Teras’s, scampers across the bananas. Then another. We follow back to find an egg sac with a hole in it with a third spider just coming out.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Kenneth Wood.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by
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Ken Wood’s Characters for Horror
This assignment helped me focus on my characters, and make selections on who would die, who would survive, and the pattern in which they would meet their fates.
1a. Concept: The longer an arachnologist keeps a newly-discovered, Amazonian spider alive, the more it kills and the more it breeds.
1b. Group: A Team of Professionals.
2. Dying Pattern: B. The characters experience the terror and survive together, but one or two die.
3. Characters and Descriptions
A. Arachnologist, Dr. Rexy Lambert: University Director of the Entomology. Runs an Anti-Venom Lab. Does what she does out of guilt. Out of fear, she did not help her sister after she was bitten by a venomous spider, when they were both children.
B. Keaton Mercer, State Medical Examiner charged with investigating deaths of Banana Boat Crew and Port Security Officer. Former love interest of Rexy Lambert.
C. Atticus Xanderman, American arachnologist, stationed in the Brazilian Amazon who does “gain-of-function” experiments for the CIA.
D. Sheriff Mauer, local lawman, with a no-nonsense demeanor.
E. College Entomology students, Reese Robbins and Cali Ann Nichole. Cali is the cautious one. Reese is the foolish one in the lab.
F. Bob Crutchfield, owner of the Food Distribution Company which received the deadly banana shipment. More concerned with money than public safety, allows half the banana shipment to go to market.
G. Jack, director of the Horse Barn, where animals are used to create anti-venoms.
J. Banana Boat Crew: Captain Andrade, and four family members. Only the Captain survives.
K. University Janitor, Carlos.
L. Lilly, Rexy’s pre-teen daughter.
M. Rosco, the Lambert’s Dog
N. Georgie, the gentle horse used in creating the anti-venom from Teras.
O. Teras. The monster spider.
P. Numerous Venomous Creatures in the Anti-Venom Lab which get attacked by Teras.
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Ken Wood’s Terrifying Monster
Using this assignment I was able to crystalize the parameters of my story’s monster, how it evokes mystery, how it looks, how it behaves, and how it terrorizes. It helped give me ideas for when to conceal and reveal certain things about the monster and how the survivors will overcome it.
1 TERROR
I decided to create my unique spider monster out of two Brazilian species: It is a cross breed between the most deadly spider in the world, the Brazilian Wandering Spider species, <i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Phoneutria Feras (FERAS), which is Greek for <i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Murderous Beast, and the largest spider in the world, the Goliath Bird-Eating Tarantula.
I invented the scientific name Phoneutria TERAS, which is Greek for Murderous Monster), for my monster.
Teras is doubly-aggressive, doubly-venomous and doubly-intelligent. As its parent, FERAS, Teras does not make a web to catch prey. It hunts it down.
Teras’s venom paralyzes first, then causes a violent seizure, followed by death all within 60 seconds. Accelerated decomposition follows leaving a human body to decay within hours compared to a week in the sun.
Its digestive juices are pumped into its prey causing the flesh, mussles and organs to dissolve rapidly into mush, which Teras ingests like a slurpee. Its digestive juices also enter the bloodstream causing rapid body-wide decomposition.
Its silk has a tensile strength 100 times tougher than a strand of steel of the same size.
It ejects a stream of silk to capture it prey. Handling the silk only causes one’s hands to get stuck in it.
It can break thick, tempered glass by flicking its pedipalps (those thingies beside its mouth.
Its fangs are oversized and are intimidating when extended. They drip with a creamy-yellowish venom just before striking.
The spider either creeps up on its prey, runs or drops upon it, or snags it with silk and jerks its prey toward itself. It viciously bites and can be seen pumping its venom repeatedly into its prey.
The monster isolates its victims in small spaces.
The monster is an expert at escape. It can’t be put to sleep with the normal CO2 anti-venom scientists use to put other spiders to sleep.
Like a tarantula, it will shake its legs and release urticating hairs which get in the eyes and lungs of its prey and cause excruciating pain and swelling.
It’s attitude is, “Kill brutally and messy.” A human after death may have his head plastered to the wall with a half-dissolved face.
2 MYSTERIES<div>
The world has seen spiders, but none as large, grotesque, and venomous at the same time.
It’s speed, intelligence, strength, and ferocity, are like nothing witnessed in a spider before.
A big mystery is, how did a Brazilian Wandering Spider, FERAS, mate with a Goliath Bird-Eating Tarantula. It is unheard of in nature. They would kill each other. This is a secret revealed in Act 3.
Looming question: Are there more TERAS’s or should we just kill it before it kills other people?
This is the dilemma that causes the arachnologist to keep Teras alive. If there are more, we need to keep Teras and farm its venom in order to develop a stock of anti-venom. This causes a problem. Teras knows how to escape any enclosure.
Main Monster Mystery: In order to survive, an anti-venom must be made which can act in under sixty seconds.
How do you kill it? It has an immunity to pesticides and bug killers. In real life, the sting of the Hawk Wasp is the Brazilian Wandering Spiders’ death blow. I want to bring this to bear in Act 3.
Why it doesn’t kill the daughter of the arachnologist or the arachnologist is also a mystery to be revealed.
3 FEAR PROVOKING APPEARANCE
This spider is large, hairy, and intimidating. Its eight eyes stare at us blankly. Its fangs are unusually huge and drip venom. It creeps slowly and strikes rapidly.
The collection of other venomous creature in the Anti-Venom Laboratory of the University create additional fear factor, especially when TERAS engages them in a “Bug Wars” scene.
4 RULES
Teras kills everything it thinks is a challenge to it or its interests, and it thinks everything and everyone is a challenge. It has one exception.
It has different methods of attack, i.e. creeping up on, or rapid fire striking, but the outcome is always death.
It is brutal when it kills, and abusive to the corpse after death.
The Monster has desires or motivations that are outside the norm. Unknown until near the end, we learn that TERAS’s motivation is to get back to the bananas in the Warehouse. Reason: She laid egg sacs there and wants to stock the space with food, because she has produced a “boat-load” of spiders that come out hungry. Three egg sacs with 1,000 spiders each.
5 MYTHOLOGY
TERAS’s origin, sudden appearance, and reason for existence is only revealed fully in act in ACT 3.
</div> </div>
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This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by Kenneth Wood.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by Kenneth Wood.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by
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Ken Wood
What I learned:
Watching my choice of horror movie, “A Quiet Place”, while looking for the horror concepts listed in this lesson, helped me identify them as they were used throughout the movie.
This exercise helped me brainstorm how to use them throughout my own script outline.
Movie Title: A Quiet Place
Horror Conventions I found:
Opening Scene: Setting: Ominous dystopian setting. -Departure from Reality
1 – Family searching for food in abandon town, signing so as to not make noise and attract the aliens/“monsters”. —Departure from Reality, High Tension
Smallest child grabs a toy that potentially would make noise. – High Tension
2 – Go to a farm where they “hide” from the aliens in the barn. Here we see all of the safety measures which they have employed to stay safe.- Departure from Reality
3 The small child plays with the toy and gets killed – High Tension, Death/Monster/Villian, Terrorizing of Characters
4 Other people get killed nearby. – Terrorizing of Characters, High Tension, Death
5 Other living son is terrified, even at waterfall. Terrorizing of Characters
6 A way to kill them is not known, but is being researched. – High Tension
7 Wife is on the verge of having a baby. – High tension
8 An accidental noise causes the aliens to come to the farm. High Tension, Terrorizing of Characters.
9 We see the aliens are grotesque, have sharp blade-like arms, and stalk their prey. We know they are intent on wiping out all human and animal lifeforms on earth. Monster/Villian. High Tension, Terrorizing of Characters
10 Wife steps on a nail and almost screams bringing the aliens. High Tension, Terrorizing of Character, Isolation
11 They have to hide in small spaces in an already small basement in a barn structure. – Isolation
12 Wife has to go to farm house to wash clothes. Her birth pangs begin. An alien hears her. She retreats to upstairs bathroom-High tension, Terrorizing of Characters, Isolation
13 Her water breaks, she gets in the tub and the birth contractions intensify. -High Tension, Terrorizing the character, Isolation
14 She delivers the baby. – High Tension, Terrorizing of Character
15 Can’t shoot for fear of bringing other aliens. – High Tension, Monster/Villian
16 Choose diversion of fireworks to draw aliens away. Departure from Reality
17 Husband comes and sees blood in tub thinking that his wife has been killed – Death Imagined, Terrorizing of Character
18 Newborn makes noise, attracting the alien.
High Tension, Terrorizing of Characters
19 As they figure out what can kill the alien, there is a confrontation. – High Tension, Monster/Villian, Terrorizing of Characters
20 Too many aliens converge, Daughter and Son are put in danger. Father sacrifices himself so they can escape. – Terrorizing of Characters, High Tension, Death
There was not anything substantial in this movie that one could say was a moral failure on any of the character’s parts. There was nothing that caused them to deserve terror, mutilation and/or death from the aliens.
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Brainstorming of Conventions for my movie:
Horror Concept:
A leading arachnologist is tasked with catching the newest and most venomous species of spider known to man, and developing an anti-venom for its bite. But, she experiences that the spider is too aggressive, deadly, and intelligent to be controlled, and may have even been bred for a sinister purpose.
A spider
A spider boards a Brazilian-based cargo boat full of bananas headed for America.—Isolation
By the time it reaches port in the U.S., it has killed four of the crew and has the captain in hysteria locked in his cabin. Isolation
The spider’s venom, once injected in a victim, acts within the minute, causing paralysis, then a violent seizure, then decay. Terror of Characters. Monster/Villian
The spider’s digestive juices are so potent, they cause flesh and muscle to turn to mush, also within the minute. Monster/Villian
Captain too hysterical to turn off boat, causing it to repetitively ram and damage the dock. All he can say is “Aranha” (Portuguese for Spider)- Departure from Reality, Terrorizing of Character
The Port Supervisor goes into the engine room below to shut off engine. -Isolation, High Tension
A silk strand hits the back of his head and he is pulled into the void. Terror of Character, Monster/Villian, Death
Autopsy of the dead finds the spider’s venom and digestive juices are stronger than any known venomous creature. – Monster/Villian
Finding and catching the spider. High Tension, Monster/Villian
Taken to an Anti-venom Laboratory in the Entomology Department of the local University, where numerous other venomous creatures are held. – Isolation. Departure from most peoples’ Reality.
Get first real face-to-face view of the grotesque spider. -Monster/Villian
First attempt at putting it to sleep in order to extract venom, puts main characters in deadly position. -Isolation
The spider wakes too soon. High Tension, Terrorizing of Characters
Two college lab assistants, a guy and girl, enter the lab for a scheduled feeding, are careless and the spider gets out. High Tension. The spider intelligently stalks them and kills them. Terrorizing of Characters, High Tension, Death, Isolation, Monster/Villian, Moral Statement
After recapture, one night the spider gets provoked by another spider in an adjoining terrarium. The spider gets out of its enclosure and into the other’s to kill it. High Tension. Terrorizing of Character.
Once killing the provoking spider, it goes on to kill every other creature in the lab. The scene climaxes in a battle with a King Cobra. – Terrorizing of Characters, Isolation, Monster/Villian, Death, Departure from Reality
The Night Janitor arrives, and is quickly subdued and killed. -Death.
Anytime the spider gets loose and no one knows where it is, elevates the scene. High Tension.
By now, we have seen how aggressive, deadly and highly intelligent the spider is. So, when we are confronted with it head on, we are in panic or shock. -Terrorizing of Characters
When we see it’s eight eyes close up, we wonder, what is it thinking? Will it attack? -Terrorizing of Characters
As the chief Arachnologist, Dr. Lambert, and other officials arrive. An unproductive search commences in the lab. We see the spider crawl into her large purse. High Tension.
She is encouraged to go home and carries the spider in her purse in her car and into the house. High Tension, Isolation.
At her home, her daughter and dog have breakfast. Dr. Lambert tells her daughter that she bought her a present. It is in her purse. The girl goes to get it, reaches in. Nothing happens. High Tension, Isolation
The spider climbs up on the napping daughter, while Dr. Lambert takes a shower. Daughter awakes. Cries for mother. Mother can’t hear because of hair dryer. Isolation, Terrorizing of Characters, Monster/Villian
Mother finally hears. Gets daughter to brush it off quickly. She tries to hit it, but it dodges and jumps on her towel. Panic and hysteria! -High Tension, Monster/Villian, Terrorizing of Characters
Dog takes on spider. Fights with it down the stairs to the first floor. Monster/Villian, Terrorizing of Characters
Dog gets bitten, but Dr. Lambert remembers the “untested” anti-venom is in her purse. She gives it to the dog. Death (at least the fear).
The spider escapes out a doggie door. We learn that spiders have a heightened sense of smell. Dr. Lambert’s house is close to the Port, where the banana shipment, with its smells of home, is stored. Dr. Lambert deduces that the Warehouse is where the spider is headed. -Monster/Villian, Departure from Reality
This spider, above all others, is the ultimate escape artist and has been trying to get back to the banana shipment in the Warehouse for more than just the smell of home.
At the Warehouse, we discover that she has laid a number of egg sacs in the bananas and is determined to protect them. She will kill any human or creature who poses a threat. -Monster/Villian, Terrorizing the Characters
As the Main Team of Characters discovers one of the egg sacs, one Team Member tries to smash it underfoot, but only succeeds in breaking it open. A thousand baby spiders pour out and crawl up the person. -High Tension, Terrorizing the Character, Monster Villian
As the person tries to kill them. The mother spider attacks and kills him. -Terrorizing the Character, Death
Soon, the baby spiders come from other egg sacs and swarm the warehouse. -Monster/Villians, Terrorizing the Characters, High Tension, Departure from Reality, Isolation, Moral Statement, Death
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Hi, All.
I am Ken Wood.
I’ve written ten scripts, and am currently developing my eleventh.
In this class, I want to learn all I can about writing professional horror, so this script will be solid on every level. I am especially interested in learning about “Smart Horror” and anything else that will elevate my story and my writing so that it will stand out, head and shoulders above others.
Something unique as it relates to horror writing: I first started creating spook houses in our back yard when I was ten, and now run one of the top haunted attractions in the OKC area.
The inspiration for my new horror script came from an Orb Weaver Spider that created a web outside our front door in mid-September, as we were gearing up for the Haunted Attraction season. We called her Orbie, of course.
Boy, did we get complements on our Halloween decor: “That looks real!”
She produced two egg sacs on the outside wall, and stayed on her web until mid December when she finally succumbed to the cold. When she died, we buried her. Her offspring should be hatching with the warm weather.
She is the first spider that we actually felt was a pet. Have you ever petted the back of a spider? I now can say, I have.
Orbie inspired me to study spiders, and to write my new screenplay. It won’t be about her, but a new species of Brazilian Wandering Spider, that becomes the deadliest, most aggressive, hunting spider of all time.
Something else unique relating to horror: I had a real life encounter with a 15-year-old girl whose parents were high up in a satanist cult. She was multiple-posted by demons that spoke through her in one of our 4-hour conversations. She told me her parents had invoked demons into her before she was even born, and that when she turned 16, which was in a few weeks, the father was going to ritually kill her and have her demons possess him. I was at the end of a help line and helped her escape.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by Kenneth Wood.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by Kenneth Wood.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by
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Ken Wood
I agree to the terms of this release form.
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
Ken Wood
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Kenneth Wood Assignment 10 Meaningful Action
What I learned: Adding meaningful action to the scene helps the film “show” not “tell” the story. It’s really good to create some kind of action which supports the dialogue of a scene. It’s always good to look at a scene with dialogue and see if action can be added which enhances the reason for the dialogue.
In this scene, Doug grapples with staying where he is at as a retail employee, or participating in the Santa’s new outreach to help the kids in The Project, the city’s most dangerous, gang-infested neighborhood.
Instead of him talking to himself, He talks to the can of flock, which represents his 18-year job, and the Pookie which represents the invitation to help the poor in a significant way.
I changed this scene to have a box of Pookies come from an order Doug, himself, made 12 months ago, and not as the fault of some anonymous person. It came just as he is in the valley of decision. The delivery man emphasizes that it is right on time on the very day it was to arrive, alluding to a Providential Hand at work.
This turned out to be so much more interesting than my original scene.
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INT. OUTDOOR ADVENTURE WORLD, DOUG’S OFFICE – DAY
Doug sits in his office chair typing into his laptop.
DOUG
Google, what neighborhood had the highest crime rate in the city?
He squints and then his eyes grow wide.
DOUG
The Project. Auto Thefts, 17. Robberies, 21. Violent Crimes, 28. Murders, 8. Okay, they’re insane. I’d really need a sign.
Doug closes the laptop and stares at a can of flock on his desk. A tiny, five-inch Christmas tree, made of green yarn, is also on the desk. He picks up the can and sprays a little into the air over the tree. He watches it fall.
A KNOCK on his door is quickly followed by a DELIVERY MAN carting in a large cardboard box.
DOUG
All deliveries go to the Receiving Office, not here.
DELIVERY MAN
This one says, “Care of Doug Glenn”. That you, Mister?
DOUG
Yes. Who’s it from?
DELIVERY MAN
Woodland Stuffed Animals.
DOUG
Oh, yeah. I ordered that twelve months ago. You guys are late.
DELIVERY MAN
Not according to the manifest. Expected delivery date, today on or before nine. See? It’s just now nine, which means it’s right on time.
He exits. Doug fishes out a box cutter, and opens the box. He pulls out a snowy white ferret, like Peyton’s.
DOUG
A Pookie. Lots of Pookies.
He fishes out another and another then picks up the box and dumps out its contents. All Pookies.
DOUG
I would have ordered an assortment.
Doug calls Abe.
DOUG
I wanted to ask, could I join you and not participate in The Project outreach?
Abe replies positively.
DOUG
I can decide that later? Okay. Let me think about it some more and I’ll let you know.
Doug hangs up. He picks out a single Pookie and walks back to the desk and sits. He points the Pookie at the can of flock.
DOUG
Flock, you make Christmas trees look snowy. And, yes, you bring a degree of Christmas spirit for the season. But, you, little Pookie…and all you little Pookies.
He looks the Pookie in the eyes.
DOUG
A tiny guy like you could sustain a little girl’s happiness long after the season is over.
He sets the Pookie on his desk and stares at it.
DOUG
Helping that girl and her mom meant more to me, than anything else.
He looks at the can of flock.
DOUG
As much as I love doing store displays for a living. Who cares? No big deal. I want more.
He takes a beat and then slaps his hands on the desk to raise himself upright and grabs the Pookie.
DOUG
(singing)
I WANT TO BE WHERE THE SANTAS ARE.
Doug take big bold strides over to the box of Pookies and grabs two hands full of them and tosses them up in the air and freezes. A heavenly light shines down. A little glitter falls on him.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by Kenneth Wood.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by Kenneth Wood.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by Kenneth Wood.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by
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Kenneth Wood
THE SANTA BROTHERHOOD
Elevated beats
What I learned: Separating out a scene individually, and thinking of ways to creatively enhance it, really makes me stretch mentally to make it the most impactive it can be. Since my script is a comedy, I needed to infuse an “on-foot” chase scene with something comedic and somehow use something that my lead character, Doug, uses from his profession as a store decorator. In the opening scene is flocking trees for the Santa Wonderland display. In the chase scene, I added that Doug whips out a can of Christmas tree flock, and uses it like a can of mace, to blind the gang leader T. Roy, when he catches up to him. This served to create a kind of bookends for the movie.
The scene:
EXT. RIVER BANK – CONTINUOUS
The Santa van heads underneath a bridge overpass, but POPS a front tire. T. Roy loses control. He slams on the brakes, then hits a bridge pylon. SMOKE pours from the crumpled hood.
Abe’s Truck and the Police Car SCREECH to a halt behind them. Policewoman roles her eyes. T. Roy grabs his gun. He and Slice jump out of the car and make a run for it. Cal and Doug run after them.
POLICEMAN
Halt. Do not run.
Bob, Miss Amy, and Abe get out of the vehicles. Policeman and Policewoman draw their guns.
POLICEWOMAN
Put your hands up.
They Comply. Miss Amy puts hers down and approaches.
MISS AMY
I can explain.
POLICEWOMAN
Stop. Hands up lady.
POLICEMAN
(low voice to Policewoman)
She must be the Godmother.
They continue. T. Roy shoots at Cal and Doug. Cal slows.
CAL
Wait, Doug.
Doug keeps running into the gun fire. Cal cringes.
CAL
Doug, nooo.
T. Roy turns his upper body to shoot Doug. Doug whips out a can of flock and sprays T. Roy in the face. T. Roy loses his balance and stumbles into Slice.
Doug tackles them from behind. They roll into the river. Cal and the Police Officers run to pull them out.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Kenneth Wood.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by
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KENNETH WOOD SCENE RATINGS- THE SANTA BROTHERHOOD
With this assignment, I learned to evaluate each scene for its entertainment value: its ability to evoke emotion, create curiosity and/or intrigue, inspire anticipation for what’s ahead, and for its ability to absorb the reader into another place, time and situation, while forgetting about one’s own. If one can infuse each scene with one of these elements, the script’s entertainment value will rise exponentially.
The Santa Brotherhood
Beat Sheet
Title: THE SANTA BROTHERHOOD
Genre: Buddy Comedy
Logline: A timid employee of a mega outdoor store joins a secret society of Santa’s founded by Saint Nicholas, and commits to establishing an outreach program for kids in the highest crime area of the city, but first he must survive their brand of “Santa” training.
1. (E9) INT. OUTDOOR ADVENTURE WORLD – DAY
Introduces protagonist, Doug Glenn, decor designer for Outdoor Adventure World, who gets challenged by the three store Santas to step out of the mundane work world to live a higher purpose, one of perpetual generosity. Intros poor single mom, Louise and daughter Peyton as the kind of people the Santas are committed to helping. Intros Pookie, a stuffed animal, which personifies divine providence is at work bringing people together for a higher purpose.
2. (E9) INT. OUTDOOR ADVENTURE WORLD – DAY
The Santas challenge to Doug to join their secret society, at a time when they are launching a quest to help the children and single moms in the most dangerous section of the city—The Project. We find Doug and wife, Sonia, are facing foreclosure. Doug dreams of being kidnapped by men in a red van.
3. (E10) EXT. OUTDOOR ADVENTURE WORLD – DAY
Doug has inhaled too much Christmas tree flock, Santas pull up in red van and rush to hospital, saving his life. Doug’s resistance to their invitation melts, he agrees to, at least, learn what they are all about.
4. (E9) EXT./INT. THE NORTH POLE – DAY
The Santas take him to their clandestine HQ and reveal the depth and breadth of the Brotherhood’s historic benevolent workings. They reveal their new quest to make a difference in the lives of kids and single moms living in the most dangerous neighborhood of the city—The Project. We see a humorous reenactment of St. Nicholas delivering his legendary three bags of money to the daughters of an impoverished man.
5. (E10) INT. OUTDOOR ADVENTURE WORLD – DAY
Doug gets his first experience doing a traditional store Santa gig. He realizes playing Santa is more than listening to kids ask for gifts. Sometimes the requests go far deeper and emotional.
6. (E10) EXT. THE PROJECT – DAY
Doug’s visits The Project. Overwhelmed with fear, he almost backs out for good. Then, he sees Louise and Peyton. They live there and this opens his heart to want to help.
7. (E10) INT. THE NORTH POLE – DAY
We learn the backgrounds of each member of the Brotherhood—a Hell’s Angel, a Marine Reconnaissance Vet, and a Black Belt Ju Jitsu World Champion. We find out why The Santa Brotherhood means so much to them. Doug is moved by their bravery and also feels much more safe.
8. (E9) EXT./INT. THE NORTH POLE – DAY
Doug commits to becoming a Santa. Since the Santas make their benevolence money doing Santa gigs in the Christmas season, and do Super hero and Clown Parties throughout the rest of the year, the Santas put him through training—First, creating balloon animals, second, taking him on his first midnight Santa run to leave gifts and aid to a needy family. He encounters a pit bull. Doug manages to outrun him, inspiring the Santas to give him the superhero name of Cheetah Man.
9. (E10) INT. OUTDOOR ADVENTURE WORLD – DAY
Doug falls asleep at work, and gets a warning from the manager. At lunch, the Santas and Doug are taking a photo, in the break room, to promote their super hero gigs at the same time the gang leader at The Project, T. Roy and some of his gang attempt a “smash and grab” of guns and ammo. Doug wants to abide by company policy and hide, but the tough Santas boldly go to confront the thieves. Doug, hangs back but finally musters enough courage to leave the break room, just in time to “accidentally” thwart the robbery. A news photographer takes their picture and blasts it on the front page of tomorrow’s paper.
10. (E10) INT. OUTDOOR ADVENTURE WORLD – DAY
Sam, the manager shows Doug and the Santa’s the footage of the attempted robbery. Doug recognizes T. Roy as the same guy who lives at The Project.
11. (E10) EXT. GAS STATION – DAY
T. Roy and gang realize that Doug and one of the Santas, Abe, have been to The Project. They suspect they are undercover agents of some sort.
12. (E9) INT. MISS AMY’S APARTMENT – DAY
Doug and the Santas meet with Miss Amy and discuss plans for a pre-Christmas party. Doug will play Santa and get the kid’s requests and learn of any needs the mothers may have. As they leave in the red Santa van, T. Roy pays Miss Amy a visit.
13. (E10) EXT. STREET NEAR TARGET HOUSE #2 – NIGHT
Doug attempts his second midnight Santa run, but raises the suspicion of the police. A chase ensues. Doug narrowly escapes.
14. (E8) INT. OUTDOOR ADVENTURE WORLD – DAY
Doug falls asleep at work for three hours, and gets fired.
15. (E9) INT. DOUG’S HOME – DAY
Sonia shows Doug a foreclosure letter. Doug has to tell her he’s been fired. He will work out with the bank to do a “short sale” of their house. Sonia threatens to leave and go live with her father in the nursing home.
16. (E10) INT. THE PROJECT CLUBHOUSE – DAY
The pre-Christmas party happens. Doug plays Santa. Miss Amy shows the first signs of stomach problems. T. Roy catches Doug alone and threatens to shut down their Christmas Eve Santa run to The Project unless Doug gives him the ammo he needs for the one gun he was able to steal in their “smash and grab”. T. Roy also threatens to harm Louise and Peyton.
17. (E9) INT. OUTDOOR ADVENTURE WORLD – DAY
Doug buys the ammo, but also buys blank ammo for the same gun. The amount is so high, $1,200, it triggers a “Red Flag Warning”. Sam, the manager, confronts Doug and asks if he should be worried.
18. (E8) INT. DOUG’S HOME, BASEMENT – NIGHT
Doug switched the blanks to the real ammo boxes. Doug wads up the receipt and puts it in his pocket. If Sonia saw it, she would explode in anger.
19. (E8) INT. DOUG’S HOME, DINING ROOM – NIGHT
Sonia asks if he has called the mortgage company. He pulls out his phone to show her it’s on his “list app”. The receipt falls out, Sonia picks it up.
20. (E7) INT. CORPORATE HQ OUTDOOR ADVENTURE WORLD – DAY
CEO, Tommy Moss finds out Doug has been terminated and begins to investigate why.
21. (E7) EXT. THE PROJECT – DAY
Tommy Moss comes, with Sam to witness Doug and the Santas working with the kids at The Project.
22. (E10) EXT. THE PROJECT – NIGHT
It’s Christmas Eve. Doug and the Santas arrive with the Santa van and Bob’s truck full of wrapped packages. As everyone goes to get Miss Amy, and Bob does one more surveillance trip in his truck, T. Roy and Slice steal the Santa van.
23. (E10) EXT. STREETS OF THE CITY – NIGHT
Doug, the Santas and Miss Amy chase the van, alerting a nearby police cruiser. All three vehicles high speed through a parking lot with speed bumps, weave through the streets and then go down an embankment to a river road.
24. (E10) EXT. RIVER ROAD – NIGHT
T. Roy crashes the van. He and Slice run away on foot. Doug and Cal pursue. T. Roy begins to shoot. Cal hides, but Doug keeps running until he tackles them and they go into the river. The police arrest T. Roy and Slice. Doug, the Santas and Miss Amy go on to deliver the packages to all the kids. Miss Amy has to be rushed to the hospital with her ailment.
25 (E7) INT. HOSPITAL – NIGHT
Doctor reports she has a dangerous form of ulcer. Prescribes medication and sends her home. Louise will look after her. Doug invites the Santas and their families to Christmas dinner.
26 (E8) INT. DOUG’S HOME – NIGHT
After food and fun, Doug explains how working with the Santas has changed his life. They have taught him “Not to work just to become wealthy, but to become generous.”
Tommy Moss comes unexpectedly to ask Doug to come back to the company as director of the new Kid’s Adventure World program, with three times the salary. Tommy gives him a large bonus, and also the deed to their home which he bought in the short sale and is now gifting back to them paid in full.
27. (E10) INT. MISS AMY’S APARTMENT – DAY
Miss Amy’s condition worsens. Feeling she is about to die, she asks Doug to see if the authorities will let T. Roy can come and see her. She reveals he is her estranged son and only family.
28. (E10) INT. MISS AMY’S APARTMENT – DAY
T. Roy and Miss Amy make amends just before she passes away. T. Roy vows to change his ways.
29. (E8) EXT. THE PROJECT – DAY
One year later, we see that The Project has been revitalized.
29. (E7) EXT./INT. KID’S ADVENTURE WORLD CAMPGROUND – DAY
The Santas arrive to be part of a fishing tournament with the kids. The proceeds will go to a charity chosen by the kids. At Tommy’s request, Doug and he take out a small bass boat to have their corporate meeting.
30. (E10) INT. PRISON – DAY
Doug and the Santas have been working with T. Roy and the prisoners to change their lives for the better. T. Roy gives his inspirational testimony as a Black pastor would to a Black congregation. Doug and the Santas recreate the rest of the meeting in the same way, with games, as they did with the kids at the pre-Christmas party back at The Project.
31. (E10) MISS AMY’S GRAVE SIGHT – DAY
Doug, the Santas, Louise and Peyton visit to honor the grandmother of The Project, whose dream it was to see The Project Turned around.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Kenneth Wood.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Kenneth Wood.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by
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Kenneth Wood
The Santa Brotherhood
Logline: A timid employee of a mega outdoor store joins a secret society of Santa’s founded by Saint Nicholas, and labors with them to establish an outreach program for kids in the highest crime area of the city.
CHARACTER INTROS:
NOTES: I my original draft, I waited until much later in the story for ABE, BOB and CAL to share their backgrounds: Abe – Marine vet, Cal – Mixed Martial Arts, Bob – Hell’s Angels, I altered my character intros to bring the hint of those right up front. Their intros are now much more contrasting and provocative. “What are these guys doing playing store Santas listening to what little kids want for Christmas? What are they really up to? I modified Doug’s assessment of them to reflect this contrast between tough guys and nice guys.
I also added in Doug’s description of himself how insecure he felt his job was, even though he was a top store designer for the mega store chain. “[I’m as] safe as a moth near a bug zapper. That’s me.”
ABE, BOB, CAL
Three husky guys with Santa-like white beards, ABE, BOB and CAL(50s and 60s), strut past them. Their t-shirts reflect their rugged backgrounds: Abe – Marine vet, Cal – MMA, Bob – Hell’s Angels. Their garment bags carry Santa suits inside.
ABE
Hello, Sam.
MANAGER
Here are my Santas, Abe, Bob, Cal.
DOUG
The Santas find DOUG GLENN(50s) up on a scissor lift, spraying a towering tree. Five more trees wait to be done. A large throne for Santa is at the center, flanked by North Pole decor and animal taxidermy.
CAL
Hey, Doug!
Doug doesn’t hear him. Bob WHISTLES. Doug looks down. Traces of flock are in his hair, eyebrows, and on his N-95 mask. He pulls out bluetooth earbuds.
DOUG
Hi, guys. Just got a little Christmas mood music on. These also keep the flock out of my ears.
ABE
Look at this set. Wow!
BOB/CAL
Fantastic! Amazing!
DOUG
Thanks. It’s killing me, but it’s all for a good cause, right? Doin’ it for the kids, not corporate.
He lowers the lift and steps out. He takes off his mask to reveal a white mustache and goatee. The Santa’s look surprised at him, then at one another.
ABE
Doug.
DOUG
What?
BOB
You’ve gone white.
DOUG
I did five years ago. I’m just finally embracing it. Family budget cuts, if you want the truth.
ABE
And you’ve plumped up a bit.
CAL
No budget cut there, huh?
DOUG
It’s those darn meds.
A half-eaten, Ho Ho Cupcake package falls off the lift next to him. Doug steps to hide it and kicks it underneath the lift. Cal and Bob roll their eyes at each other.
ABE
You’re beginning to look more and more like us. You should join us.
DOUG
Ha. Apparently, I can grow belly fat, but not a full beard.
CAL
There’s yak hair for that.
DOUG
Animal hair on my face? Not a personal hygiene goal.
The Santas keep nodding.
ABE/BOB
Yep. Uh huh.
DOUG
Aw, come on, guys. You’re serious?
CAL
Why not? It’s for a higher purpose.
Doug thinks, as he picks up a box of flock cans and puts it on the lift.
DOUG
I can sum up my life’s purpose in three words, Don’t screw up. Retail work doesn’t pay much, and you never know when layoffs are coming. The mortgage payments and medical bills keep rolling in, though.
ABE
Surely, Outdoor Adventure World’s top decor designer is safe.
DOUG
Safe as a moth near a bug zapper. That’s me.
DOUG’s reaction to the Santas:
DOUG
There go the coolest, tough guys this side of the North Pole.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Kenneth Wood.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Kenneth Wood.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Kenneth Wood.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Kenneth Wood.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Kenneth Wood.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by
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Through this assignment, I found ways to give some of my supporting character’s stronger storylines. It also helped me find some deeper feelings and actions for the characters to express.
Title: The Santa Brotherhood
Logline: A “play-it safe” employee of an outdoor store gets involved with three store Santas, who are part of a clandestine but benevolent, secret society, just in time to start a Christmas project benefiting the kids and single moms in a housing project where the city’s most dangerous gang lives.
Character Story Arcs
Doug
Plays it safe for job security even if job is not paying enough to make ends meet in inflationary economy > Challenge> New Perspective> An open heart of generosity inspires others to have open hearts> Doug inspires his CEO to shift his focus from “Making more and more money, to doing more and more good with the money the corporation generates.
Miss Amy’s transformation from prostitute to caring grandmother figure is laid out. However, Miss Amy has one more step, to forgive and ask forgiveness of her son, T. Roy. She does. This influences T. Roy to have the change of heart he needs.
Miss Amy tells T. Roy, “There’s a better way than the way of the street. These men can help you find it.”
With the Santas, Abe, Bob and Cal, we learn from their testimonies, that they all came to a place of transformation.
The Santas
Having gone through their own previous transformations, they now serve as mentors, for Doug. Their life’s theme, “Don’t work to become wealthy, work to become generous.”
Abe rebelled against his father’s role model as a member of The Santa Brotherhood, joins the Marines, becomes a tough guy vs. the soft and gentle man his father was. Abe has softened.
Bob grew up in gangs, then hell’s angels, got sick of the lifestyle (or “death style”)
Bob explains what motivates T. Roy, Bob also becomes the one who can really relate to T. Roy and become his counselor once T. Roy is in prison.
Cal was small and bullied, learned Ju Jitsu and became a vigilante before transforming into a member of The Santa Brotherhood. His skills help thwart the smash and grab by T. Roy’s gang.
T. Roy, son of a prostitute grew up wild. Though he has a humorous and crazy sense of humor, he has a deep-seated anger and resentment that makes him dangerous and intimidating. The forgiveness of his mother, Miss Amy starts his journey to clean up his life. Bob, as a former gang member, becomes his life coach.
Tommy Moss, Founder and CEO of Outdoor Adventure World became obsessed with the money-making potential of creating a fishing, hunting and camping mega store. This was unlike his father whose own bait and tackle store was closed half the time, so he could go fishing with Tommy. Coming out to see Doug working with the Santas at The Project, even though he knew Doug had just lost his job and was about to lose his house, reminded Tommy of his own father. Seeing the plight of all of the children and single mothers in The Project, causes Tommy to create ways to
Enhance their lives with Kid’s Adventure Camps, and workplace modifications for single mothers.
Tommy also realizes he is not helping his employees’ pay stay up with inflation.
“How can an employee who worked with me 18 years, not have enough money to, all of a sudden, pay his monthly mortgage?”
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Kenneth Wood.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by
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I learned that if your character’s traits and background are clearly defined, their dialogue, actions and reactions can flow from them. Subtext traits and flaws, clearly defined, can help inspire the necessary subtext and flawed actions a character can make well-rounded characters and elevate the story.
Title: THE SANTA BROTHERHOOD
Main Character Profiles
Logline: <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Logline: A “play-it safe” employee of an outdoor store gets involved with three store Santas, who are part of a clandestine but benevolent, secret society, just in time to start a Christmas project benefiting the kids and single moms in a housing project where the city’s most dangerous gang lives.
DOUG
Stays in his lane even though financially it is not enough to make ends meet.
Life’s Motto: Don’t Screw up.
Generous to a fault.
Devoted to the company to a fault
Fights fear and insecurity
Subtext: Tries to hide how bad things really are, and what the root causes are for his weight gain.
ABE
Military: Marine Reconnaissance
Leader and chief strategist of The Santa Brotherhood
Compassionate counselor
Loves connecting with the history of the historical Saint Nicholas, the founder of The Santa Brotherhood
Rebel against his father, a Santa Brotherhood member, now walks in his footsteps as leader of The Santa Brotherhood
Motivated by not only generosity, but making real differences in people lives. Handouts and helping hand up.
Subtext trait: loves a good prank and plays one on Doug
BOB
Former Hell’s Angel
Sick of the gang lifestyle counseled with Cal during one of Cal’s Santa gigs,
Became a 100% believer in the cause of the Brotherhood to help and not hurt people.
An encourager and supporter of Doug as he becomes a member of the Brotherhood.
Always ready to take the game on the road (a la midnight Santa drops to needy families in dangerous neighborhoods. Usually the driver of the Santa van.
Subtext trait: Goes along with Abe’s pranks and enjoys them
CAL
Fun loving
Doug’s best fan and encourager
Ju Jitsu black belt champion, turned vigilante, turned one of the Santas in the Brotherhood.
Costume designer and wearer. Inspired the Superhero birthday parties the Santa Brotherhood hold to raise money year-around for the cause.
Subtext trait: Brave to a point. Don’t know when he is going to freeze.
MISS AMY
Lived former life as a prostitute, druggie
Cares for the children and mothers in The Project, has reached out to Abe to help clean up the neighborhood.
Subtext trait: Ashamed of her past. Is embarrassed of and hides the fact that T. Roy is her son.
T. ROY
Feared Gang leader
Crazy, eccentric, jokester
Subtext trait: Can turn on a dime into a very threatening person.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Kenneth Wood.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by
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The Santa Brotherhood
Beat Sheet
Title: THE SANTA BROTHERHOOD
Logline: When an employee of a retail outdoor store, who likes to play it safe, accepts the invitation of three store Santas to join their ranks, he does so, only to find they are part of an ancient secret society and the quest they want him for is clandestine and perilous.
INT. OUTDOOR ADVENTURE WORLD – DAY
Introduces protagonist, Doug Glenn, decor designer for Outdoor Adventure World, who gets challenged by the three store Santas to step out of the mundane work world to live a higher purpose, one of perpetual generosity. Intros poor single mom, Louise and daughter Peyton as the kind of people the Santas are committed to helping. Intros Pookie, a stuffed animal, which personifies divine providence is at work bringing people together for a higher purpose.
INT. OUTDOOR ADVENTURE WORLD – DAY
The Santas challenge to Doug to join their secret society, at a time when they are launching a quest to help the children and single moms in the most dangerous section of the city—The Project. We find Doug and wife, Sonia, are facing foreclosure. Doug dreams of being kidnapped by men in a red van.
EXT. OUTDOOR ADVENTURE WORLD – DAY
Doug has inhaled too much Christmas tree flock, Santas pull up in red van and rush to hospital, saving his life. Doug’s resistance to their invitation melts, he agrees to, at least, learn what they are all about.
EXT./INT. THE NORTH POLE – DAY
The Santas take him to their clandestine HQ and reveal the depth and breadth of the Brotherhood’s historic benevolent workings. They reveal their new quest to make a difference in the lives of kids and single moms living in the most dangerous neighborhood of the city—The Project. We see a humorous reenactment of St. Nicholas delivering his legendary three bags of money to the daughters of an impoverished man.
INT. OUTDOOR ADVENTURE WORLD – DAY
Doug gets his first experience doing a traditional store Santa gig. He realizes playing Santa is more than listening to kids ask for gifts. Sometimes the requests go far deeper and emotional.
EXT. THE PROJECT – DAY
Doug’s visits The Project. Overwhelmed with fear, he almost backs out for good. Then, he sees Louise and Peyton. They live there and this opens his heart to want to help.
INT. THE NORTH POLE – DAY
We learn the backgrounds of each member of the Brotherhood—a Hell’s Angel, a Marine Reconnaissance Vet, and a Black Belt Ju Jitsu World Champion. We find out why The Santa Brotherhood means so much to them. Doug is moved by their bravery and also feels much more safe.
EXT./INT. THE NORTH POLE – DAY
Doug commits to becoming a Santa. Since the Santas make their benevolence money doing Santa gigs in the Christmas season, and do Super hero and Clown Parties throughout the rest of the year, the Santas put him through training—First, creating balloon animals, second, taking him on his first midnight Santa run to leave gifts and aid to a needy family. He encounters a pit bull. Doug manages to outrun him, inspiring the Santas to give him the superhero name of Cheetah Man.
INT. OUTDOOR ADVENTURE WORLD – DAY
Doug falls asleep at work, and gets a warning from the manager. At lunch, the Santas and Doug are taking a photo, in the break room, to promote their super hero gigs at the same time the gang leader at The Project, T. Roy and some of his gang attempt a “smash and grab” of guns and ammo. Doug wants to abide by company policy and hide, but the tough Santas boldly go to confront the thieves. Doug, hangs back but finally musters enough courage to leave the break room, just in time to “accidentally” thwart the robbery. A news photographer takes their picture and blasts it on the front page of tomorrow’s paper.
INT. OUTDOOR ADVENTURE WORLD – DAY
Sam, the manager shows Doug and the Santa’s the footage of the attempted robbery. Doug recognizes T. Roy as the same guy who lives at The Project.
EXT. GAS STATION – DAY
T. Roy and gang realize that Doug and one of the Santas, Abe, have been to The Project. They suspect they are undercover agents of some sort.
INT. MISS AMY’S APARTMENT – DAY
Doug and the Santas meet with Miss Amy and discuss plans for a pre-Christmas party. Doug will play Santa and get the kid’s requests and learn of any needs the mothers may have. As they leave in the red Santa van, T. Roy pays Miss Amy a visit.
EXT. STREET NEAR TARGET HOUSE #2 – NIGHT
Doug attempts his second midnight Santa run, but raises the suspicion of the police. A chase ensues. Doug narrowly escapes.
INT. OUTDOOR ADVENTURE WORLD – DAY
Doug falls asleep at work for three hours, and gets fired.
INT. DOUG’S HOME – DAY
Sonia shows Doug a foreclosure letter. Doug has to tell her he’s been fired. He will work out with the bank to do a “short sale” of their house. Sonia threatens to leave and go live with her father in the nursing home.
INT. THE PROJECT CLUBHOUSE – DAY
The pre-Christmas party happens. Doug plays Santa. Miss Amy shows the first signs of stomach problems. T. Roy catches Doug alone and threatens to shut down their Christmas Eve Santa run to The Project unless Doug gives him the ammo he needs for the one gun he was able to steal in their “smash and grab”. T. Roy also threatens to harm Louise and Peyton.
INT. OUTDOOR ADVENTURE WORLD – DAY
Doug buys the ammo, but also buys blank ammo for the same gun. The amount is so high, $1,200, it triggers a “Red Flag Warning”. Sam, the manager, confronts Doug and asks if he should be worried.
INT. DOUG’S HOME, BASEMENT – NIGHT
Doug switched the blanks to the real ammo boxes. Doug wads up the receipt and puts it in his pocket. If Sonia saw it, she would explode in anger.
INT. DOUG’S HOME, DINING ROOM – NIGHT
Sonia asks if he has called the mortgage company. He pulls out his phone to show her it’s on his “list app”. The receipt falls out, Sonia picks it up.
18b. INT. CORPORATE HQ OUTDOOR ADVENTURE WORLD – DAY
CEO, Tommy Moss finds out Doug has been terminated and begins to investigate why.
18c. EXT. THE PROJECT – DAY
Tommy Moss comes, with Sam to witness Doug and the Santas working with the kids at The Project.
EXT. THE PROJECT – NIGHT
It’s Christmas Eve. Doug and the Santas arrive with the Santa van and Bob’s truck full of wrapped packages. As everyone goes to get Miss Amy, and Bob does one more surveillance trip in his truck, T. Roy and Slice steal the Santa van.
EXT. STREETS OF THE CITY – NIGHT
Doug, the Santas and Miss Amy chase the van, alerting a nearby police cruiser. All three vehicles high speed through a parking lot with speed bumps, weave through the streets and then go down an embankment to a river road.
EXT. RIVER ROAD – NIGHT
T. Roy crashes the van. He and Slice run away on foot. Doug and Cal pursue. T. Roy begins to shoot. Cal hides, but Doug keeps running until he tackles them and they go into the river. The police arrest T. Roy and Slice. Doug, the Santas and Miss Amy go on to deliver the packages to all the kids. Miss Amy has to be rushed to the hospital with her ailment.
INT. HOSPITAL – NIGHT
Doctor reports she has a dangerous form of ulcer. Prescribes medication and sends her home. Louise will look after her. Doug invites the Santas and their families to Christmas dinner.
INT. DOUG’S HOME – NIGHT
After food and fun, Doug explains how working with the Santas has changed his life. They have taught him “Not to work just to become wealthy, but to become generous.”
Tommy Moss comes unexpectedly to ask Doug to come back to the company as director of the new Kid’s Adventure World program, with three times the salary. Tommy gives him a large bonus, and also the deed to their home which he bought in the short sale and is now gifting back to them paid in full.
INT. MISS AMY’S APARTMENT – DAY
Miss Amy’s condition worsens. Feeling she is about to die, she asks Doug to see if the authorities will let T. Roy can come and see her. She reveals he is her estranged son and only family.
INT. MISS AMY’S APARTMENT – DAY
T. Roy and Miss Amy make amends just before she passes away. T. Roy vows to change his ways.
EXT. THE PROJECT – DAY
One year later, we see that The Project has been revitalized.
EXT./INT. KID’S ADVENTURE WORLD CAMPGROUND – DAY
The Santas arrive to be part of a fishing tournament with the kids. The proceeds will go to a charity chosen by the kids. At Tommy’s request, Doug and he take out a small bass boat to have their corporate meeting.
MISS AMY’S GRAVE SIGHT – DAY
Doug, the Santas, Louise and Peyton visit to honor the grandmother of The Project, whose dream it was to see The Project Turned around.
INT. PRISON – DAY
Doug and the Santas have been working with T. Roy and the prisoners to change their lives for the better. T. Roy gives his inspirational testimony as a Black pastor would to a Black congregation. Doug and the Santas recreate the rest of the meeting in the same way, with games, as they did with the kids at the pre-Christmas party back at The Project.
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Main Structure Outline and Elevation
Title: THE SANTA BROTHERHOOD
Logline: A “play-it safe” employee of an outdoor store gets involved with three store Santas, who are part of a clandestine but benevolent, secret society, just in time to start a Christmas project benefiting the kids and single moms in a housing project where the city’s most dangerous gang lives.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Main Conflict:
Doug’s: Setting aside his <i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>play-it-safe attitude to engage in the Santa’s higher purpose of helping others year-around and trusting that the generosity he sows with cause generosity to flow back to him.
The Protagonists’: The Santas work to bring positive change to the kids and single parents in a high crime neighborhood where they are confronted by the deadly gang which controls it.
Opening:
A poor mother and child come in to the Outdoor Adventure World (OAW) to buy a camping stove to keep warm at home. Their electricity has been cut off. They come from a nearby apartment complex called The Project. Lead character Doug, a, top store designer and play-it-safe employee of 18 years, has a foreclosure warning on his mortgage, yet, generously gives the mother money to help her pay the bill. The three store Santa’s witness Doug’s generosity and invite him to join them. He is reluctant.
Inciting Incident:
The Santa’s intervene to save Doug’s life which opens Doug up to hear and accept their proposal to become part of their secret society, The Santa Brotherhood.
By page 10, you know what the movie is about:
The Project is the most dangerous part of the city. The Santa’s need a fourth man to help them in their quest to help the children and single mothers of The Project experience a better life. The Santas are all guys who have had rough and tough pasts. Now, they want to channel their lives into fulfilling the benevolent purpose and tradition of the legendary 4th century bishop of Myra, Saint Nicholas. They train and incorporate Doug into their operation.
First turning point at end of Act 1:
Doug tours The Project in his car and is immediately confronted by T. Roy, leader of the gang who lives at The Project. Doug thinks about backing out, but then, he sees the young mother and her daughter live there. He reluctantly keeps with the program.
Doug’s late night activities with the Santas and a malfunctioning CPAP machine start to adversely affect his job performance. He gets a warning from the store manager.
Mid-Point:
While the Santas take a promotional photo of themselves in their Super Hero costumes OAW, T. Roy and gang attempt a smash and grab of guns and ammo. They are thwarted by The Santas. T. Roy escapes, however. A next-day, front-page newspaper article and photo of the Santas with Doug is seen by T. Roy.
Second turning point at end of Act 2:
The Santas and Doug visit the manager of The Project, elderly Miss Amy. They plot a pre-Christmas party to find out what the kids and mothers need for Christmas and also plan a Christmas Eve delivery. T. Roy sees them at Miss Amy’s and pays her a visit, where he discovers their plan.
Crisis:
Doug gets caught sleeping on the job and gets fired. He goes home to find that the mortgage company has started foreclosure. He opts to put the house up for a Short Sale. The CEO, Tommy Moss, of OAW sees that Doug’s name was on the Employees Who Have Been Terminated List. He is told that Doug has been engaged with the store Santas on a project. Mr. Moss comes to see what Doug and the Santas are doing at The Project. Doug and the Santas hold their pre-Christmas party for the kids. Miss Amy starts getting sick.
T. Roy shows up and catches Doug alone at the end of the party. He will only let The Santas deliver Christmas packages to the kids and mothers only if Doug will get him the ammo that he needs. T. Roy swears him to silence or he will hurt the young mother and daughter.
Climax:
Not willing to let the kids and moms down or see any of them get hurt, he buys the ammo and brings it to T. Roy a day before the scheduled Christmas Eve delivery. On Christmas Eve, T. Roy and gang steal the Santa’s van with all of the packages. The Santa’s pursue in a black truck, also full of packages. The chase catches the attention of the police.
The pursuit takes the three vehicles down to the river where T. Roy crashes the van and flees on foot. Doug and one of the Santas, Cal, pursue them on foot. T. Roy starts shooting at them. Cal takes cover, but Doug continues and eventually catches the T. Roy and the gang member, pushing them into the river. Doug is scolded for pursuing while T. Roy was shooting. Doug revealed that they were blanks and that he had given them to T. Roy himself.
Doug’s bravery is commended. The police take T. Roy and the gang member into custody while the Santas and Doug, with Miss Amy’s help, deliver the packages before dawn.
Resolution:
The kids are seen opening their packages. T. Roy and gang are sent to prison. Tommy Moss visits Doug and reinstates him as the new director of the Kids Adventure World outreach program. He also implements a program at OAW specifically for single mothers to work and have childcare at all OAW stores.
Miss Amy realizes that she is dying and asks for T. Roy to visit her. She reveals that he is her son. T. Roy comes to her death bed and exchange forgiveness and love for each other. Before she dies, Miss Amy asks Doug for the Santas to keep visiting T. Roy in prison. One year later we see that T. Roy’s visit to his dying mother and the Santa’s continued visits have changed his life. He, Doug and the Santas are now working together with the other prisoners to change their lives for the better.
Elevation:
I was able to elevate the scene where T. Roy tells Doug he will allow the Christmas Eve present delivery only if Doug brings him live ammunition from his store. I elevated it by having T. Roy threaten the young mother and daughter.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Kenneth Wood.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by
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Ken Wood’s Title, Logline and One Page Story Summary
Title: THE SANTA BROTHERHOOD
A buddy dramedy
Logline: When an employee of a retail outdoor store, who likes to play it safe, accepts the invitation of three store Santas to join their ranks, he does, only to find they are part of an ancient secret society and the quest they want him for is clandestine and perilous.
One Page Description: Bills keep piling up for Adventure Outdoor World’s top in-store display designer, Doug Glenn. But, that doesn’t stop him from reaching into his own pocket to help a young mother, Louise, and her young daughter, Peyton, with their winter heating bill. The three store Santa’s who take turns doing seasonal work there, happen to be in store and witness Doug’s sacrificial generosity. The Santas invite Doug to join their ranks, but when Doug realizes they are part of a secret society dating back to the original Saint Nicholas, upon which the Santa Legend is founded, and that their actual mission and goes far beyond making money as store Santa’s, but actually engages in benevolent missions in places where danger lurks around every corner.
Doug is reluctant, proclaiming that his mission in life has always been, to play it safe , even if working retail has gotten him further behind in his bills. However, the lure of living for a higher purpose, leads him to accept their challenge to join their mission. That mission is to transform the lives of children and single moms in a housing project at the epicenter of the city’s highest criminal activity. It was given to them by the grandmother of The Project, Miss Amy. Doug becomes emotionally attached to the quest while on a tour of The Project. Then he discovers that the young mother and daughter he helped at first, live there and are in danger from a crazy gang leader named T. Roy.
Doug and the Santa’s go to work conducting events for the children at The Project. When the Santas succeed in foiling T. Roy’s plans to rob the outdoor store of guns and ammo, T. Roy determines to thwart their goal of a Christmas Eve gift drop for the children in The Project. Doug negotiates an uncharacteristic truce with T. Roy. When T. Roy violates it, Doug and the Santa’s have no choice but to go face to face with T. Roy’s gang. All, the while, Doug’s new commitments to the Santa Brotherhood, take a toll on his work ethic, resulting in his dismissal from the job and the foreclosure of his house.
When the owner of Adventure Outdoor World, Tommy Moss, investigates why one of the company’s best employees was terminated, his eyes are opened to the work of Doug and the Santa’s do in The Project. This inspires him to start a new division in his company and to ask Doug to head it. Doug and the Santas also find a way to fulfill Miss Amy’s final request to work with T. Roy in prison.
What I Learned: This lesson helped me hone my logline to better encapsulate the core of my story and to add more dynamic impact to the logline.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Kenneth Wood.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Kenneth Wood.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by
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Ken Wood
Ken Wood
I agree to the terms of this release form.
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
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Hi, I’m Ken.
Scripts:
I’ve written twelve scripts mostly in the action adventure, buddy comedy genres for the whole family. These past two years, I have focused on writing for Hallmark and the burgeoning faith-based streaming services. My last two scripts have been Christmas-themed: A Dickens of a Christmas, and The Santa Brotherhood.
Class Goal
By taking the Re-write class my goal is to re-write and elevate both of these scripts, before marketing them.
Unique:
To get inside the head of a store Santa, for script, The Santa Brotherhood, I served in the role of Santa on OKC’s Polar Express Train Ride in 2021. My wife and I are the executive directors of Spotlight Productions OKC, a training organization for youth who want to pursue professional stage performance, musical theater and film and television. I have been an actor in 12 movies and streaming series. I play the Irish whistle and any instrument that a keyboard can produce. I have four instrumental albums on Spotify, two feature solo acoustic guitar and two are Celtic, featuring the Irish whistle, set against soft piano and orchestra. One album, Portals to Heaven, earned the title of Best Instrumental Album of the Year.
It’s a pleasure to be back with Hal and Cheryl for this, my fourth ScreenwritingU class.
Best to all,
Ken
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Kenneth Wood.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by
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Hey, Bill.
Hang in there. You’re almost through.
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Hang in there Mike. You’re almost across the finish line.
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Hey, Bill. This is a powerful scene. Well, done.
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Thanks Mike. You are an inspiration, too. You’re hanging in here to the end. I’ve enjoyed your posts to see how you implement the lessons into shaping your outline and scenes. The Professor is becoming a horror character to be feared.
I’ll be happy to share outlines with you, Kris, and everyone else who wants to.
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Nice one, Kris!
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Sounds good Kris.
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Please do. I would like to see how your story is coming.
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Aram, your story is shaping up nicely.
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Mike, I like the way your story is shaping up.
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I really like your story concept, Kris.
You’ve probably already thought about this, but it just dawned on me that the Quarterman has rules he must abide by. He can only go after children, or people, who do bad, therefore, even in his quest for revenge, he cannot harm Liam, the innocent. All he can do is lay in wait until Liam does something bad.
I see this dilemma of, The Quarterman lusting after Liam as his ultimate prize, as becoming the real heart of your story.
Perhaps the Quarterman has another rule that he cannot directly provoke a person to sin. However, the Quarterman can do despicable things to those around the innocent one, who are guilty of sin.
As Liam observes the Quarterman doing his vengeful work against the family throughout ACT 2, he gets angry enough to do something wrong, and the Quarterman can now pursue him which would make for a powerful ACT 3.
If Liam is to survive, he must seek repentance and forgiveness, and return to a state of purity again. Then he can obtain the power and wisdom to conquer the Quarterman.
Feel free to disregard any of this if it doesn’t align with your vision for the story. These are just my random thoughts.
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I like your concept, Bill.
“Once you live here you can never leave. If you try, you die.”
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Interesting concept, Chelle.
What location will you use for your compound? Someplace here in the U.S., a foreign country, an isolated island?
This made me think one of those Mission of Mercy group of surgeons going to some mystical place in a jungle.
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Good concept, Aram.
Making fun of a Voodoo Priestess, maybe even calling her a fake, then, she lets him/them have it, driving them insane.
It will be interesting to see how you envision enlightening the “survivors” to overcome the “monster/villian”.
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I’ve been watching the episodes on Guillermo del Toro’s Cabinet of Curiosities. Reminds me of The Twilight Zone.
Best wishes on developing your story. I’ll keep in touch.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by Kenneth Wood.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by
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Love the name, FINAL EXAM, Mike, and the concept. It got me in brainstorm mode.
Use any of the following ideas if they will help.
I like the idea that, in order for a student to be saved from being killed, the others have to solve a problem.
Maybe the Moral Statement could be, “You should have paid attention in school kids.”
Perhaps the teacher gets so frustrated with kids who no longer care about learning and just want to make trouble and are disrespectful. The teacher turns from “really caring” to “demeaning, condescending and hateful”.
When the kids finally have had enough, they conspire to get the teacher fired. Under those circumstances, the teacher looses all retirement benefits, and reputation. He/she devises a series of escape room scenarios based on subject matter they should have learned.
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Love the concept and the setting in Ireland.
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“It’s only allowed out once a day.”
Mystery to explore: Who or what is controlling the demon?
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Interested in seeing how you develop this story, Jon.
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I just added a note to better explain why I made the changes.
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Marian. These are all great elevations, not only of your character’s introductions, but their personalities as well.
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Hey, Marian.
I read over your post. Looks like you were able to strengthen your characters and their stories. Way to go.
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I’m your Huckleberry.
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I hope everything gets lined out for you.
Good luck on catching up. Message me when you post anything and I will try to respond quickly.
Best,
Ken
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Go to that Class Assignment in FORUMS. Hit the red REPLY button in the upper right-hand column. Type or paste your assignment. Click POST.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Kenneth Wood.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by
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Hi, Samuel. I hope you got a response from the moderator, but incase you did not, let me offer what I think might be your issue. There is a button at the end of each lesson that says, COMPLETED. If you click on that, it will put a line through that assignment and open up the next assignment, and so on.
That’s the only thing I can think of, unless there is a glitch in this new system.
Good luck, Samuel.
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I am sure that you are NO more than 39, because that’s what gentlemen do. 😇
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I would assume that you are French, but your husband is of Scottish heritage.
And, I am sure that you are no more than 39 years old. 🙂
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Kenneth Wood.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Kenneth Wood.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Kenneth Wood.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by