
Ken Callaway
Forum Replies Created
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TITLE: Tolly’s Rangers
LOGLINE: Spellbound by JRR “Tolly” Tolkien’s nightly fireside tales, a kid at scout jamboree in 1953 England seeks a mysterious girl he believes is an actual fairy.
Please send any!!! feedback to kencallawaywrites@gmail.com
KEN CALLAWAY’S THRILLER MAP VERSION 1
What I learned in this assignment was that I pretty much had the entire story in some form. This assignment turned out to be quite a bit more difficult than I had anticipated, but so very satisfying.
EXT–BOMBED LONDON STREET, 1940–DAY
Newsreel footage of people frantically searching through brick piles fallen from halved buildings. A smashed double-decker bus burns unattended.
Mae, in a blood-stained dress, holds an infant (Kevin) as three strange nurses wrap gauze around his bloodied eyes. One nurse whispers “It’s for the best” MOS to Mae. Mae turns and slowly walks away. What did the nurse say? The nurses watch her leave as the gauze slips through their hands one-by-one. The bandage floats like a kite tail as a building collapses onto the nurses.
TITLE: TWELVE YEARS LATER
EXT-BARGE DECK–DAY
An intense storm hammers the decaying barge. A lightning flash illuminates the name LADY GENEVIEVE on the boat’s bow as Kevin (wears eye patch) and Jim board from the stern. The two in pirate grab sneak up on two other boys, Jacko at the bow and Danny at the wheel. All have white fence pickets, hanging sword-like from waist sashes.
Kevin runs past Danny and yells at Jacko demanding the whereabouts of the fairy prisoners. The game stops as the three other boys want to play pirates, not fairy hunters.
Kevin relents, draws then throws a real sheath knife at Jacko. It sticks close to Jacko’s boot. Jacko draws his fence picket sword as does Kevin. The fun starts again as the two teens clash with violent swordplay. Chips fly until Jacko mistakenly clobbers Kevin, nearly taking his only eye. Kevin falls overboard. The sun breaks through the clouds and we see the boat is in a muddy, urban scrap yard, not at sea.
As his friends look on Kevin springs from the mud, a bloody but happy pirate. Kevin turns his face up to the sun and smiles. Jacko, Jim and Danny cheer with delight.
EXT-BIRMINGHAM STREET–DAY
A group of teen boys in scouting uniforms sit on a stake-bed truck loaded with war surplus tents and camping gear. Kevin below, sports the sheath knife on his scout uniform belt. He’s teary-eyed as Mae takes his photo. She kisses him goodbye then tells him it’s for the best. She hands him his scout kitbag, telling Kevin to put his grandfather’s knife inside. He reluctantly complies then climbs onto the truck with his Jacko, Jim and Danny as three older scouts look on.
Mae bumps into father John, the Jesuit priest who convinced her that Kevin should go to the weeklong jamboree. The two discuss Kevin, Mae thinks he’s too young to go along. Father John thinks the experience will be great for Kevin, a chance to grow up. Mae is unsure as she looks at the older boys.
His three friends notice Kevin has been crying and halfheartedly cheer him up saying maybe he can hunt fairies at the jamboree. Kevin takes the dig then excitedly calls a warning to the fairies from the back of the truck. His friends laugh.
The priest’s father, JRR “Tolly” Tolkien arrives to hear Kevin’s cry to the fairies. Tolly spouts parallel fairy lore. Kevin’s interest in the outing is now more than piqued. Tolly had been invited to tell scary fireside stories.
EXT-WEST MIDLANDS–DAY
The truck bounces slowly along a country road. Father John, Tolly and a scouting couple, the Shipleys are in the cab. Scoutmaster Shipley is driving. Kevin and his friends tell jokes and play as the older scouts plot against them. The biggest kid, Hux slides Kevin’s kitbag close, shows it to his friends Pisser and Ace then throws it into a stream as the truck passes. The three laugh.
EXT–DROITWICH–DAY
The truck parks in the small village so the scout troops can shop for the jamboree. Kevin searches for his kitbag so he and his friends can buy some sweets. Unable to find it he panics. If his kitbag is gone so is his grandfather’s knife. The look on Hux’s face says it all. Kevin accuses Hux of stealing the kitbag and grapples with the much older and larger Hux. Just as Kevin reaches the boiling point he notices a disturbingly arresting girl watching them. She taunts Kevin then slips into the sweets shop across the street. With his focus completely changed, Kevin ignores Hux.
As Hux and his pack leave to shop with the Shipleys, Tolly asks Kevin to lead his friends on their gathering task. Kevin crosses the street to the sweets shop.
INT–SWEETS SHOP-DAY
Kevin and his friends enter the shop but the girl has disappeared. The quirky shop keeper claims not to have seen her. As his friends order candies Kevin presses the shop keeper, she get’s rattled and demands the boys leave. His friends exit the shop and as Kevin follows, the shopkeeper warns Kevin that if he is on the same path with the mystery girl, he’s doomed. What is his connection to the girl?
EXT-OAKWOOD GREEN-DAY
As the scouts set up the camp Kevin sneaks back to the village to find the girl but to no avail. After several hours Kevin heads back to camp, as he crosses a large meadow he is chased by small, very frightening fairies. He gets turned around and finds himself lost. Kevin sees a girl riding a horse in the distance.
She ignores Kevin as he runs behind her. Panicked and out of breath he is suddenly grabbed by the arm. It’s Father Fox a, a Jesuit priest from the jamboree. Father Fox takes Kevin back to the camp.
EXT-JAMBOREE-NIGHT
The scouts meet at the campfire for a challenge. Kevin missed the day’s activities; making a longbow. The challenge has the Birmingham group pitted against another camp to shoot a flaming arrow over a small lake to a small island. After all of the scouts have tried Tolly has Kevin use the bow that Jacko made. Kevin breaks it, Tolly has him use Hux’s bow. Kevin ricochets his arrow off of a rock and wins the challenge. Tolly and all the boys are thrilled.
EXT-OAKWOOD GREEN-DAY
Kevin and Hux get assigned to dig a latrine. Hux walks off to leaving Kevin to work. Kevin finds a rune stone with a knife similar to his grandfather’s. He picks up the knife just as a fairy appears. Kevin, startled stabs the fairy killing it. Kevin yells and Hux reappears. Kevin holds the fairy, but Hux says he sees a rabbit in Kevin’s hands. Is Kevin crazy? Hux attempts to take it but Kevin won’t let him. He threatens Hux with the shovel so Hux heads back to the camp. Kevin buries the fairy, moves to a different spot then sobbing, digs the latrine alone.
EXT-JAMBOREE-NIGHT
At the evening’s bonfire Hux makes fun of Kevin. Kevin pulls Tolly aside and tries to tell him of the dead fairy and the bullying. Tolly let’s Kevin know that fantasy is a great talent and he should be proud of his active imagination. The boys all meet at the bonfire, Hux bullies Kevin in front of the entire group.
Tolly tells his first fireside story; a tale of a fairy princess named Genevieve that lures unsuspecting mortal boys to their watery deaths. Kevin is convinced the mystery girl from the village is a fairy. Kevin, Jacko, Jim and Danny go back to their tent terrified.
INT-TENT-NIGHT
The four boys lay in a star pattern with their heads to a center pole. Kevin’s sleeping bag has big holes in it, his feet stick out. They four try to play off Tolly’s story but each has been deeply moved, each heard a different version of the tale.
EXT-JAMBOREE-DAY
As Kevin and his friends peel dinner potatoes he notices a few scouts sneaking away from camp heading toward Oakwood Manor. Kevin slips away and tries to follow them but they soon lose him. Hearing noises around him, Kevin nervously moves through the field.
Kevin spots a young girl on a stallion and calls to her. She rides to him but she is not the mystery girl, she wears thick horn-rimmed glasses. He asks if she knows Genevieve and the rider points to nearby bramble. Genevieve walks out and greets Kevin.
At that moment the stallion explodes and bolts toward the two. Kevin jumps in front of Genevieve, the horse strikes at him repeatedly but Kicks Genevieve in the head. He grabs a long stick and stabs sword-like at the horse’s chest sending it and the rider away. Kevin pulls a roll of gauze from his pocket and wraps her wound. He takes her hand and the two walk toward Oakwood Manor. The girl introduces herself as Genevieve Oakwood. He says he is Kevin, she scoffs and says sure you are.
EXT-OAKWOOD MANOR-DAY
Kevin rings the bell at the grand manor’s entrance. The door is quickly answered by two women in odd nurse’s uniforms. Kevin is unnerved by the greeting as he tries to explain what happened. The nurses seem more interested in him than Genevieve.
INT-OAKWOOD MANOR-DAY
Genevieve tells the nurses that her sister tried to kill her, but Kevin intervened. She introduces Kevin as Keenan. Kevin tries to correct her but nurses whisper to each other then whisk Genevieve down a long hallway. A door slams. Kevin sits in the grand entry watching the sun go down.
INT-HALLWAY-DUSK
He calls out to Genevieve, the house echoes. He begins walking through the maze-like house calling for her. He listens at doors as he passes. At one door he hears two young girls laughing. He gently knocks and the laughing stops.
Kevin peers through the keyhole to see a horribly disfigured, ancient man in a dental chair. The man appears dead, almost collapsed as if he has no bones. A nurse carries a tall milk can as if it weighs nothing. She reaches her hand into the can and feeds the man a scoop of milk. He laps at her hand with a hideous vigor.
Horrified, he takes a few steps back then stops. He approaches and peers in once more. He sees the nurse pull a femur bone from the milk can, open the man’s flaccid mouth extremely widely and shove the bone through his torso to his leg. She pulls her arm out of his mouth and the ancient man coughs. Kevin screams and runs from Oakwood.
Him
Kevin runs through the field he approaches and passes a group of five scouts walking to the manor. One of them was Jim. He tries to warn him but everything sounds crazy. The boys laugh, so does Jim. Kevin, dejected takes off toward a bonfire in the distance.
EXT-JAMBOREE-NIGHT
Kevin runs into Beatrice Shipley and tries to explain. She feels his forehead then calls her husband. Mr. Shipley explains that Father John said this could happen as Kevin is a storyteller.
Shipley takes him back to his tent saying they have a big day tomorrow and he should sleep. Kevin tells Mr. Shipley that Jim has run off, but Shipley says his parents picked him up.
INT-TENT-NIGHT
Kevin enters the tent, Jacko and Danny are sound asleep. Kevin tries to wake them but to no avail. Kevin crawls into his sleeping bag he shivers. Jim’s bag is empty.
EXT-JAMBOREE-DAY
Kevin is silent as he and several scouts peel potatoes. Hux walks up behind him and punches Kevin in the back. He turns and stabs Hux in the arm with the potato peeler. The other scouts recoil in horror. Hux pulls the peeler away and peels a slice of skin from Kevin’s palm saying we are even.
Tolly walks up just as Hux passes the peeler back to Kevin. Tolly sees the blood, asks what happened. Kevin looks at Hux then replies the peeler slipped. Tolly takes Kevin to the first aid tent. Father Fox and Tolly tell stories of battles as Fox puts a dressing on Kevin’s hand.
After talking with Tolly, Mr. Shipley pairs Kevin’s group with Hux’s group for the camp war games. To everyone’s surprise Kevin and Hux put their heads together and win the day. The new group is invited to Oakwood Manor for a big celebration dinner.
EXT-BONFIRE-NIGHT
The scouts sit around the fire carving wood neckerchief woggles. Kevin uses the knife he found as Hux watches. Hux apologizes to Kevin for cutting him. Kevin’s knife slips and he gashes his finger. Kevin drops the knife and covers the wound. Father Fox sees the incident and kneels next to Kevin to check the wound but it has healed.
Father Fox picks up Kevin’s woggle, admires it and asks if Kevin would trade for his carved bone woggle, saying it’s magic. They trade.
Tolly delivers another scary fireside tale about a small group of rangers fighting off elves. Kevin unimpressed, thinks Tolly is pulling punches with this story.
INT-TENT-NIGHT
Kevin talks Jacko and Danny into searching for Jim.
EXT-JAMBOREE-NIGHT
Kevin talks Jacko and Danny walk the jamboree, past may groups sitting around fires. No Jim. As they walk Hux follows them. Kevin tells his friends that Jim is probably at Oakwood Manor and that Hux might know what’s going on. Kevin says they need to search Oakwood Manor during the dinner the next day. Jacko and Danny reluctantly agree.
INT-DINING HALL-NIGHT
The scouts are eating the best meal any of them have had in their short, post-war lives. Kevin sees Hux stand and ask for the loo then leave the room. Kevin stand to follow just as Oldfather Oakwood enters. Oldfather is the boneless old man the nurse was reassembling. Mr. Shipley introduces Kevin to Oldfather as the scout who wins wars.
Oldfather shakes Kevin’s hand with a painfully strong grip. Kevin is mortified, but quotes Tolly’s ranger story and stays strong. Kevin asks Oldfather if he was injured in the war then promises Oldfather he would win a war for him too. Everyone has a good laugh. Kevin asks for the loo, exits.
INT-HALLWAY-NIGHT
Kevin immediately runs into Hux relaying his fears about Oakwood and the missing scouts. Hux confided he is a ranger hunting fairies as well, He confesses that he stole Kevin’s knife on the ride to Oakwood Green as he thought he would need it to kill fairies. Kevin tells him to keep it as he will need it. Hux tells Kevin they must get back to the dinner. Kevin says he can’t, he needs to find Jim and Genevieve.
The two hear voices, Hux leaves and Kevin hides in a large window box behind long curtains. Oldfather and the three nurses walk past speaking about the looming war with humankind after the scouts get back to their homes. Kevin backs into something, he turns, reaches out to feel the horse rider’s horn-rimmed glasses. She’s dead.
Kevin opens the window, jumps out and runs flat out into the darkness toward camp.
EXT-JAMBOREE-DAY
Kevin pushes his way through crowds of scouts then runs into Tolly. He delivers the entire story. Tolly asks Kevin to relax then asks him when you bumped into me how did you know who I was? Kevin responds how do you mean? Tolly tells Kevin he knows he is blind. Kevin claims he is not blind, Tolly asks him if it’s day or night. Kevin hesitates then responds the smell of your pipe tobacco, that’s how I knew.
As Kevin calms down Tolly tries convincing him that his failing vision let him down the wrong path. Kevin asks Tolly about his friend Jim. Tolly responds that Jim’s parents picked him up and that is he’s safe at home.
Tolly asks Kevin to wait at the first aid tent while he locates the Shipleys and father John so they can get a hold of Kevin’s mother. Kevin responds I’m blind, where can I go?
EXT-OAKWOOD GREEN-DAY
Kevin is wandering circuitously through the pasture trying to find the way to Oakwood Manor when he is stopped by Genevieve. Kevin tells her every detail about what he has seen; the fairy Kevin killed with a knife, the fairies in the field, Oldfather’s transformation, finding her sister dead and the plans to take the world from humankind. Kevin admits he might be going crazy.
Genevieve takes Kevin by the hand and turns him toward Oakwood Manor. She tells Kevin that everything he is seen as real and that she is a fairy. She admits that she had to kill her sister or her sister would’ve killed her to become the Fairy Queen. Kevin is in shock, he pulls away from her and begins trembling. Genevieve takes his hand again but Kevin pulls away and begins running. Kevin trips over something and falls into the tall grass. He reaches around and discovers Hux lying dead he reaches for his face and finds his grandfather’s knife in Hux’s chest.
Kevin stands and reaches out to touch Genevieve’s face. Genevieve tells him since the beginning of time they have been on the same path, but now he has a choice has a choice. He can go back to the world of mortals or lead the fairies against them. He wipes a tear from Genevieve’s cheek and says goodbye.
EXT-JAMBOREE-DAY
Kevin is being led across the camp by the Shipley’s they get into the cab of the flatbed truck and drive away.
INT-OAKWOOD MANOR-DAY
The truck pulls up in front of Oakwood Manor and the Shipley’s health Kevin out. As they walk up to the front door and opens and the Shipley’s are greeted by Oldfather and a nurse. They asked to use the telephone to call Kevin’s mother.
As Mr. Shipley uses the phone Kevin whispers to old father saying he knows what he is. Oldfather laughs and winks at Mrs. Shipley and says he’s just a very, very old man. Kevin asks him where Genevieve is. Oldfather seems confused and asks him to describe Genevieve. Now blind, Kevin reaches deep into his memory and describes her perfectly.
Oldfather responds that he knows her, and that her name is actually Grace Greene, one of the blind patients at Oakwood Asylum. Kevin absolutely stunned asks what kind of asylum is Oakwood? Mr. Shipley returns and ends the conversation telling Kevin they’re going to take him to his mother.
Kevin keeps asking what is Oakwood? Kevin asks again and again as he’s led out by the Shipleys. Oldfather watches smiling, as they walk past several children sitting in the main hallway, some are blind others just sit with a catatonic stare.
EXT-JAMBOREE-DAY
Kevin sits on a cot quietly calling to his friends one by one. Tolly walks up and takes him by the hand. He hands Kevin’s kitbag and says one of the kids found this it’s got your name on it. Kevin reaches in and finds his grandfather’s knife.
EXT-JAMBOREE PARKING LOT-DAY
The flatbed truck starts in Tolly helps Kevin into the cab next to Mrs. Shipley. Behind the truck we see a group of scouts in line for the evening meal. Jacko, Danny and Jim are laughing and playing with their food trays. Hux, Pisser and Ace stand behind them.
INT-TRUCK-NIGHT
Mr. Shipley is driving, Mrs. Shipley rests her head on his shoulder sound asleep. Kevin leans against the door of the truck replaying everything had seen and everything seemed to change. The fairies chasing him and the fairy he killed were rabbits, Genevieve’s “dead” sister was a large doll, Oldfather’s transformation, Hux’s body, the missing scouts… everything including Genevieve, all imagined by a blind kid.
INT-A MODEST FLAT-DAY
Kevin sits on a small sofa next to his catatonic father. Kevin wears black glasses and is carefully feeding his father soup. His mouth is agape and where his eyes should be is a dark oval-shaped cavern. Kevin wipes his father’s mouth and puts a rather handsome plastic mask on his face.
Kevin asks his father and my adopted? From offscreen we hear his mother answer saying he doesn’t know. Kevin asks was I? Mae answers you’re not adopted, you were given to me. Mae tells Kevin the story of the three nurses on that fateful day in London. She says it was the happiest day of her life.
The door on the mail slot squeaks in a letter falls on the floor. His mother walks over picks up the letter and smiles. She tells Kevin it’s from Tolly, Kevin is elated. She reads the letter saying he hopes you are well and that he always wanted to believe in fairies too. She finishes saying maybe you should write a book about fairies.
Mae sets the letter down. The crest at the top of the letter is from Oakwood assignment. It reads Kevin has been accepted as a patient.
INT-OAKWOOD MANOR-DAY
Mae and Kevin stand in the foyer of the grand old building. Kevin sets a suitcase on the floor. In the other hand he holds a cane with a white tip. Oldfather and the three nurses greet Mae and Kevin. Oldfather asked one of the nurses if she can call an escort to show Kevin around the grounds.
Mae kisses him on the forehead and whispers you’ll surely learn a fine trade here Kevin, it’s for the best. Kevin smiles slightly.
As Mae and Oldfather talk Kevin’s escort arrives. Grace Greene wearing black glasses takes his hand then says welcome to Oakwood. She takes his cane and they walk out the door onto the great lawn.
EXT-OAKWOOD MANOR-DAY
As the two kids cross the lawn in the bright sunlight Kevin asks her name. She takes off her glasses, looks lovingly at Kevin and answers Genevieve, what’s yours? Kevin tips his face up to the sun, smiles and says my friends call me Keenan.
INT-DINING HALL-DAY
The room is filled with well-dressed people seated at white cloth covered tables, chatting politely and quietly. A great curtain is drawn open. We see Oldfather standing behind the dental chair where Kevin lies reclining, his eyes closed. The three nurses walk in and stand next to Oldfather. Genevieve enters carrying a tall milk can, she sets it on the floor.
A hush grows over the crowd. One of the nurses reaches deeply into the can as milk flows out onto the floor. She pulls a pair of eyes out and holds them up high. She leans over Kevin and inserts the new eyes.
INT-GRAND BALLROOM-NIGHT
Kevin and Genevieve sit in matching thrones in front of hundreds of people. Kevin’s eyes are bandaged, Genevieve’s eyes are closed. Oldfather stands to one, side he begins applauding. Everyone in the room rises to their feet. The three nurses enter, stand behind Kevin and slowly take the long streamer of gauze from his eyes.
Genevieve opens her eyes and turns to him, Kevin opens his eyes and smiles.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by
Ken Callaway.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by
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KEN CALLAWAY’S THRILLER MAP VERSION 1
What I learned in this assignment was that I pretty much had the entire story in some form. This assignment turned out to be quite a bit more difficult than I had anticipated, but so very satisfying.
EXT–BOMBED LONDON STREET, 1940–DAY
Newsreel footage of people frantically searching through brick piles fallen from halved buildings. A smashed double-decker bus burns unattended.
Mae, in a blood-stained dress, holds an infant (Kevin) as three strange nurses wrap gauze around his bloodied eyes. One nurse whispers “It’s for the best” MOS to Mae. Mae turns and slowly walks away. What did the nurse say? The nurses watch her leave as the gauze slips through their hands one-by-one. The bandage floats like a kite tail as a building collapses onto the nurses.
TITLE: TWELVE YEARS LATER
EXT-BARGE DECK–DAY
An intense storm hammers the decaying barge. A lightning flash illuminates the name LADY GENEVIEVE on the boat’s bow as Kevin (wears eye patch) and Jim board from the stern. The two in pirate grab sneak up on two other boys, Jacko at the bow and Danny at the wheel. All have white fence pickets, hanging sword-like from waist sashes.
Kevin runs past Danny and yells at Jacko demanding the whereabouts of the fairy prisoners. The game stops as the three other boys want to play pirates, not fairy hunters.
Kevin relents, draws then throws a real sheath knife at Jacko. It sticks close to Jacko’s boot. Jacko draws his fence picket sword as does Kevin. The fun starts again as the two teens clash with violent swordplay. Chips fly until Jacko mistakenly clobbers Kevin, nearly taking his only eye. Kevin falls overboard. The sun breaks through the clouds and we see the boat is in a muddy, urban scrap yard, not at sea.
As his friends look on Kevin springs from the mud, a bloody but happy pirate. Kevin turns his face up to the sun and smiles. Jacko, Jim and Danny cheer with delight.
EXT-BIRMINGHAM STREET–DAY
A group of teen boys in scouting uniforms sit on a stake-bed truck loaded with war surplus tents and camping gear. Kevin below, sports the sheath knife on his scout uniform belt. He’s teary-eyed as Mae takes his photo. She kisses him goodbye then tells him it’s for the best. She hands him his scout kitbag, telling Kevin to put his grandfather’s knife inside. He reluctantly complies then climbs onto the truck with his Jacko, Jim and Danny as three older scouts look on.
Mae bumps into father John, the Jesuit priest who convinced her that Kevin should go to the weeklong jamboree. The two discuss Kevin, Mae thinks he’s too young to go along. Father John thinks the experience will be great for Kevin, a chance to grow up. Mae is unsure as she looks at the older boys.
His three friends notice Kevin has been crying and halfheartedly cheer him up saying maybe he can hunt fairies at the jamboree. Kevin takes the dig then excitedly calls a warning to the fairies from the back of the truck. His friends laugh.
The priest’s father, JRR “Tolly” Tolkien arrives to hear Kevin’s cry to the fairies. Tolly spouts parallel fairy lore. Kevin’s interest in the outing is now more than piqued. Tolly had been invited to tell scary fireside stories.
EXT-WEST MIDLANDS–DAY
The truck bounces slowly along a country road. Father John, Tolly and a scouting couple, the Shipleys are in the cab. Scoutmaster Shipley is driving. Kevin and his friends tell jokes and play as the older scouts plot against them. The biggest kid, Hux slides Kevin’s kitbag close, shows it to his friends Pisser and Ace then throws it into a stream as the truck passes. The three laugh.
EXT–DROITWICH–DAY
The truck parks in the small village so the scout troops can shop for the jamboree. Kevin searches for his kitbag so he and his friends can buy some sweets. Unable to find it he panics. If his kitbag is gone so is his grandfather’s knife. The look on Hux’s face says it all. Kevin accuses Hux of stealing the kitbag and grapples with the much older and larger Hux. Just as Kevin reaches the boiling point he notices a disturbingly arresting girl watching them. She taunts Kevin then slips into the sweets shop across the street. With his focus completely changed, Kevin ignores Hux.
As Hux and his pack leave to shop with the Shipleys, Tolly asks Kevin to lead his friends on their gathering task. Kevin crosses the street to the sweets shop.
INT–SWEETS SHOP-DAY
Kevin and his friends enter the shop but the girl has disappeared. The quirky shop keeper claims not to have seen her. As his friends order candies Kevin presses the shop keeper, she get’s rattled and demands the boys leave. His friends exit the shop and as Kevin follows, the shopkeeper warns Kevin that if he is on the same path with the mystery girl, he’s doomed. What is his connection to the girl?
EXT-OAKWOOD GREEN-DAY
As the scouts set up the camp Kevin sneaks back to the village to find the girl but to no avail. After several hours Kevin heads back to camp, as he crosses a large meadow he is chased by small, very frightening fairies. He gets turned around and finds himself lost. Kevin sees a girl riding a horse in the distance.
She ignores Kevin as he runs behind her. Panicked and out of breath he is suddenly grabbed by the arm. It’s Father Fox a, a Jesuit priest from the jamboree. Father Fox takes Kevin back to the camp.
EXT-JAMBOREE-NIGHT
The scouts meet at the campfire for a challenge. Kevin missed the day’s activities; making a longbow. The challenge has the Birmingham group pitted against another camp to shoot a flaming arrow over a small lake to a small island. After all of the scouts have tried Tolly has Kevin use the bow that Jacko made. Kevin breaks it, Tolly has him use Hux’s bow. Kevin ricochets his arrow off of a rock and wins the challenge. Tolly and all the boys are thrilled.
EXT-OAKWOOD GREEN-DAY
Kevin and Hux get assigned to dig a latrine. Hux walks off to leaving Kevin to work. Kevin finds a rune stone with a knife similar to his grandfather’s. He picks up the knife just as a fairy appears. Kevin, startled stabs the fairy killing it. Kevin yells and Hux reappears. Kevin holds the fairy, but Hux says he sees a rabbit in Kevin’s hands. Is Kevin crazy? Hux attempts to take it but Kevin won’t let him. He threatens Hux with the shovel so Hux heads back to the camp. Kevin buries the fairy, moves to a different spot then sobbing, digs the latrine alone.
EXT-JAMBOREE-NIGHT
At the evening’s bonfire Hux makes fun of Kevin. Kevin pulls Tolly aside and tries to tell him of the dead fairy and the bullying. Tolly let’s Kevin know that fantasy is a great talent and he should be proud of his active imagination. The boys all meet at the bonfire, Hux bullies Kevin in front of the entire group.
Tolly tells his first fireside story; a tale of a fairy princess named Genevieve that lures unsuspecting mortal boys to their watery deaths. Kevin is convinced the mystery girl from the village is a fairy. Kevin, Jacko, Jim and Danny go back to their tent terrified.
INT-TENT-NIGHT
The four boys lay in a star pattern with their heads to a center pole. Kevin’s sleeping bag has big holes in it, his feet stick out. They four try to play off Tolly’s story but each has been deeply moved, each heard a different version of the tale.
EXT-JAMBOREE-DAY
As Kevin and his friends peel dinner potatoes he notices a few scouts sneaking away from camp heading toward Oakwood Manor. Kevin slips away and tries to follow them but they soon lose him. Hearing noises around him, Kevin nervously moves through the field.
Kevin spots a young girl on a stallion and calls to her. She rides to him but she is not the mystery girl, she wears thick horn-rimmed glasses. He asks if she knows Genevieve and the rider points to nearby bramble. Genevieve walks out and greets Kevin.
At that moment the stallion explodes and bolts toward the two. Kevin jumps in front of Genevieve, the horse strikes at him repeatedly but Kicks Genevieve in the head. He grabs a long stick and stabs sword-like at the horse’s chest sending it and the rider away. Kevin pulls a roll of gauze from his pocket and wraps her wound. He takes her hand and the two walk toward Oakwood Manor. The girl introduces herself as Genevieve Oakwood. He says he is Kevin, she scoffs and says sure you are.
EXT-OAKWOOD MANOR-DAY
Kevin rings the bell at the grand manor’s entrance. The door is quickly answered by two women in odd nurse’s uniforms. Kevin is unnerved by the greeting as he tries to explain what happened. The nurses seem more interested in him than Genevieve.
INT-OAKWOOD MANOR-DAY
Genevieve tells the nurses that her sister tried to kill her, but Kevin intervened. She introduces Kevin as Keenan. Kevin tries to correct her but nurses whisper to each other then whisk Genevieve down a long hallway. A door slams. Kevin sits in the grand entry watching the sun go down.
INT-HALLWAY-DUSK
He calls out to Genevieve, the house echoes. He begins walking through the maze-like house calling for her. He listens at doors as he passes. At one door he hears two young girls laughing. He gently knocks and the laughing stops.
Kevin peers through the keyhole to see a horribly disfigured, ancient man in a dental chair. The man appears dead, almost collapsed as if he has no bones. A nurse carries a tall milk can as if it weighs nothing. She reaches her hand into the can and feeds the man a scoop of milk. He laps at her hand with a hideous vigor.
Horrified, he takes a few steps back then stops. He approaches and peers in once more. He sees the nurse pull a femur bone from the milk can, open the man’s flaccid mouth extremely widely and shove the bone through his torso to his leg. She pulls her arm out of his mouth and the ancient man coughs. Kevin screams and runs from Oakwood.
Him
Kevin runs through the field he approaches and passes a group of five scouts walking to the manor. One of them was Jim. He tries to warn him but everything sounds crazy. The boys laugh, so does Jim. Kevin, dejected takes off toward a bonfire in the distance.
EXT-JAMBOREE-NIGHT
Kevin runs into Beatrice Shipley and tries to explain. She feels his forehead then calls her husband. Mr. Shipley explains that Father John said this could happen as Kevin is a storyteller.
Shipley takes him back to his tent saying they have a big day tomorrow and he should sleep. Kevin tells Mr. Shipley that Jim has run off, but Shipley says his parents picked him up.
INT-TENT-NIGHT
Kevin enters the tent, Jacko and Danny are sound asleep. Kevin tries to wake them but to no avail. Kevin crawls into his sleeping bag he shivers. Jim’s bag is empty.
EXT-JAMBOREE-DAY
Kevin is silent as he and several scouts peel potatoes. Hux walks up behind him and punches Kevin in the back. He turns and stabs Hux in the arm with the potato peeler. The other scouts recoil in horror. Hux pulls the peeler away and peels a slice of skin from Kevin’s palm saying we are even.
Tolly walks up just as Hux passes the peeler back to Kevin. Tolly sees the blood, asks what happened. Kevin looks at Hux then replies the peeler slipped. Tolly takes Kevin to the first aid tent. Father Fox and Tolly tell stories of battles as Fox puts a dressing on Kevin’s hand.
After talking with Tolly, Mr. Shipley pairs Kevin’s group with Hux’s group for the camp war games. To everyone’s surprise Kevin and Hux put their heads together and win the day. The new group is invited to Oakwood Manor for a big celebration dinner.
EXT-BONFIRE-NIGHT
The scouts sit around the fire carving wood neckerchief woggles. Kevin uses the knife he found as Hux watches. Hux apologizes to Kevin for cutting him. Kevin’s knife slips and he gashes his finger. Kevin drops the knife and covers the wound. Father Fox sees the incident and kneels next to Kevin to check the wound but it has healed.
Father Fox picks up Kevin’s woggle, admires it and asks if Kevin would trade for his carved bone woggle, saying it’s magic. They trade.
Tolly delivers another scary fireside tale about a small group of rangers fighting off elves. Kevin unimpressed, thinks Tolly is pulling punches with this story.
INT-TENT-NIGHT
Kevin talks Jacko and Danny into searching for Jim.
EXT-JAMBOREE-NIGHT
Kevin talks Jacko and Danny walk the jamboree, past may groups sitting around fires. No Jim. As they walk Hux follows them. Kevin tells his friends that Jim is probably at Oakwood Manor and that Hux might know what’s going on. Kevin says they need to search Oakwood Manor during the dinner the next day. Jacko and Danny reluctantly agree.
INT-DINING HALL-NIGHT
The scouts are eating the best meal any of them have had in their short, post-war lives. Kevin sees Hux stand and ask for the loo then leave the room. Kevin stand to follow just as Oldfather Oakwood enters. Oldfather is the boneless old man the nurse was reassembling. Mr. Shipley introduces Kevin to Oldfather as the scout who wins wars.
Oldfather shakes Kevin’s hand with a painfully strong grip. Kevin is mortified, but quotes Tolly’s ranger story and stays strong. Kevin asks Oldfather if he was injured in the war then promises Oldfather he would win a war for him too. Everyone has a good laugh. Kevin asks for the loo, exits.
INT-HALLWAY-NIGHT
Kevin immediately runs into Hux relaying his fears about Oakwood and the missing scouts. Hux confided he is a ranger hunting fairies as well, He confesses that he stole Kevin’s knife on the ride to Oakwood Green as he thought he would need it to kill fairies. Kevin tells him to keep it as he will need it. Hux tells Kevin they must get back to the dinner. Kevin says he can’t, he needs to find Jim and Genevieve.
The two hear voices, Hux leaves and Kevin hides in a large window box behind long curtains. Oldfather and the three nurses walk past speaking about the looming war with humankind after the scouts get back to their homes. Kevin backs into something, he turns, reaches out to feel the horse rider’s horn-rimmed glasses. She’s dead.
Kevin opens the window, jumps out and runs flat out into the darkness toward camp.
EXT-JAMBOREE-DAY
Kevin pushes his way through crowds of scouts then runs into Tolly. He delivers the entire story. Tolly asks Kevin to relax then asks him when you bumped into me how did you know who I was? Kevin responds how do you mean? Tolly tells Kevin he knows he is blind. Kevin claims he is not blind, Tolly asks him if it’s day or night. Kevin hesitates then responds the smell of your pipe tobacco, that’s how I knew.
As Kevin calms down Tolly tries convincing him that his failing vision let him down the wrong path. Kevin asks Tolly about his friend Jim. Tolly responds that Jim’s parents picked him up and that is he’s safe at home.
Tolly asks Kevin to wait at the first aid tent while he locates the Shipleys and father John so they can get a hold of Kevin’s mother. Kevin responds I’m blind, where can I go?
EXT-OAKWOOD GREEN-DAY
Kevin is wandering circuitously through the pasture trying to find the way to Oakwood Manor when he is stopped by Genevieve. Kevin tells her every detail about what he has seen; the fairy Kevin killed with a knife, the fairies in the field, Oldfather’s transformation, finding her sister dead and the plans to take the world from humankind. Kevin admits he might be going crazy.
Genevieve takes Kevin by the hand and turns him toward Oakwood Manor. She tells Kevin that everything he is seen as real and that she is a fairy. She admits that she had to kill her sister or her sister would’ve killed her to become the Fairy Queen. Kevin is in shock, he pulls away from her and begins trembling. Genevieve takes his hand again but Kevin pulls away and begins running. Kevin trips over something and falls into the tall grass. He reaches around and discovers Hux lying dead he reaches for his face and finds his grandfather’s knife in Hux’s chest.
Kevin stands and reaches out to touch Genevieve’s face. Genevieve tells him since the beginning of time they have been on the same path, but now he has a choice has a choice. He can go back to the world of mortals or lead the fairies against them. He wipes a tear from Genevieve’s cheek and says goodbye.
EXT-JAMBOREE-DAY
Kevin is being led across the camp by the Shipley’s they get into the cab of the flatbed truck and drive away.
INT-OAKWOOD MANOR-DAY
The truck pulls up in front of Oakwood Manor and the Shipley’s health Kevin out. As they walk up to the front door and opens and the Shipley’s are greeted by Oldfather and a nurse. They asked to use the telephone to call Kevin’s mother.
As Mr. Shipley uses the phone Kevin whispers to old father saying he knows what he is. Oldfather laughs and winks at Mrs. Shipley and says he’s just a very, very old man. Kevin asks him where Genevieve is. Oldfather seems confused and asks him to describe Genevieve. Now blind, Kevin reaches deep into his memory and describes her perfectly.
Oldfather responds that he knows her, and that her name is actually Grace Greene, one of the blind patients at Oakwood Asylum. Kevin absolutely stunned asks what kind of asylum is Oakwood? Mr. Shipley returns and ends the conversation telling Kevin they’re going to take him to his mother.
Kevin keeps asking what is Oakwood? Kevin asks again and again as he’s led out by the Shipleys. Oldfather watches smiling, as they walk past several children sitting in the main hallway, some are blind others just sit with a catatonic stare.
EXT-JAMBOREE-DAY
Kevin sits on a cot quietly calling to his friends one by one. Tolly walks up and takes him by the hand. He hands Kevin’s kitbag and says one of the kids found this it’s got your name on it. Kevin reaches in and finds his grandfather’s knife.
EXT-JAMBOREE PARKING LOT-DAY
The flatbed truck starts in Tolly helps Kevin into the cab next to Mrs. Shipley. Behind the truck we see a group of scouts in line for the evening meal. Jacko, Danny and Jim are laughing and playing with their food trays. Hux, Pisser and Ace stand behind them.
INT-TRUCK-NIGHT
Mr. Shipley is driving, Mrs. Shipley rests her head on his shoulder sound asleep. Kevin leans against the door of the truck replaying everything had seen and everything seemed to change. The fairies chasing him and the fairy he killed were rabbits, Genevieve’s “dead” sister was a large doll, Oldfather’s transformation, Hux’s body, the missing scouts… everything including Genevieve, all imagined by a blind kid.
INT-A MODEST FLAT-DAY
Kevin sits on a small sofa next to his catatonic father. Kevin wears black glasses and is carefully feeding his father soup. His mouth is agape and where his eyes should be is a dark oval-shaped cavern. Kevin wipes his father’s mouth and puts a rather handsome plastic mask on his face.
Kevin asks his father and my adopted? From offscreen we hear his mother answer saying he doesn’t know. Kevin asks was I? Mae answers you’re not adopted, you were given to me. Mae tells Kevin the story of the three nurses on that fateful day in London. She says it was the happiest day of her life.
The door on the mail slot squeaks in a letter falls on the floor. His mother walks over picks up the letter and smiles. She tells Kevin it’s from Tolly, Kevin is elated. She reads the letter saying he hopes you are well and that he always wanted to believe in fairies too. She finishes saying maybe you should write a book about fairies.
Mae sets the letter down. The crest at the top of the letter is from Oakwood assignment. It reads Kevin has been accepted as a patient.
INT-OAKWOOD MANOR-DAY
Mae and Kevin stand in the foyer of the grand old building. Kevin sets a suitcase on the floor. In the other hand he holds a cane with a white tip. Oldfather and the three nurses greet Mae and Kevin. Oldfather asked one of the nurses if she can call an escort to show Kevin around the grounds.
Mae kisses him on the forehead and whispers you’ll surely learn a fine trade here Kevin, it’s for the best. Kevin smiles slightly.
As Mae and Oldfather talk Kevin’s escort arrives. Grace Greene wearing black glasses takes his hand then says welcome to Oakwood. She takes his cane and they walk out the door onto the great lawn.
EXT-OAKWOOD MANOR-DAY
As the two kids cross the lawn in the bright sunlight Kevin asks her name. She takes off her glasses, looks lovingly at Kevin and answers Genevieve, what’s yours? Kevin tips his face up to the sun, smiles and says my friends call me Keenan.
INT-DINING HALL-DAY
The room is filled with well-dressed people seated at white cloth covered tables, chatting politely and quietly. A great curtain is drawn open. We see Oldfather standing behind the dental chair where Kevin lies reclining, his eyes closed. The three nurses walk in and stand next to Oldfather. Genevieve enters carrying a tall milk can, she sets it on the floor.
A hush grows over the crowd. One of the nurses reaches deeply into the can as milk flows out onto the floor. She pulls a pair of eyes out and holds them up high. She leans over Kevin and inserts the new eyes.
INT-GRAND BALLROOM-NIGHT
Kevin and Genevieve sit in matching thrones in front of hundreds of people. Kevin’s eyes are bandaged, Genevieve’s eyes are closed. Oldfather stands to one, side he begins applauding. Everyone in the room rises to their feet. The three nurses enter, stand behind Kevin and slowly take the long streamer of gauze from his eyes.
Genevieve opens her eyes and turns to him, Kevin opens his eyes and smiles.
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KEN CALLAWAY MISDIRECTS… WHEN APPROPRIATE
What I learned… As “when appropriate” is the crux of this assignment, I learned I will have to elevate a few character misdirects and will need to bury some of the writer misdirects. This should (again, hopefully) allow my character’s actions to proactively push the story rather than being lead through the story as its realities are transposed.
· Main Mystery 1: Who is Kevin Frye?
· Overt Clue: Kevin the mystery baby in first scene
· Overt Clue: Imagines he’s a fairy hunter, is he?
· Covert Clue: Is Kevin blind or going blind?
· Overt Clue: Is he even Mae’s son?
· Covert Clue: Could Kevin be a fairy?
· Main Mystery 2: Is Genevieve Oakwood a fairy?
· Covert Clue: How does she know Kevin?
· Covert Clue: Does she know what is going on at Oakwood?
· Covert Clue: Did she kill her sister?
· Overt Clue: Is Genevieve Genevieve?
· Overt Clue: How does she know she & Kevin are on the same path?
· Covert Clue: Is Genevieve insane?
· Main Mystery 3: What is the connection between the two?
· Overt Clue: Are they actually on the same path?
· Covert Clue: Can what Kevin has seen be believed?
· Overt Clue: Will Kevin and Genevieve lead the war against humankind?
LIST OF MAIN CHARACTERS
· Hero: Kevin Frye
· Villain: Genevieve Oakwood
· Red Herring Character: Hugh “Hux” Huxley
· Trusted but shouldn’t be: Genevieve Oakwood
· Isn’t trusted, but should be: JRR “Tolly” Tolkien
CHARACTER’S BASIC STATE
· Hero: Kevin Frye – Trustworthy
· Villain: Genevieve Oakwood – Untrustworthy
· Red Herring Character: Hugh “Hux” Huxley – Trustworthy
· Trusted but shouldn’t be: Mae Frye, mother – Untrustworthy
· Isn’t trusted, but should be: JRR “Tolly” Tolkien – Trustworthy
HOW TRUST and DISTRUST UNFOLDS
· Hero / Villain: The deeper Kevin Falls for Genevieve the less he can trust her
· Hero / Red Herring: Kevin discovers Hux is actually fighting against the fairies
· Hero / Trusted but shouldn’t be: As the story progresses the Kevin learns that his blood pits him against humankind
· Hero / Isn’t trusted, but should be: When Kevin learns his true nature he has no choice but to join the fairies
OPENING: Three frightening nurses hand a young woman an infant with bloody, bandaged eyes during London’s blitz bombings.
· Life threatening 1: Will the boy live?
· Mystery 1: Who is the child? Who is the woman? Who are the nurses?
· Trust: The woman seems caring
· Distrust: The nurses seem otherworldly
· Reveal 1: As the woman turns away she seems uncaring – Covered up by her initial response.
· Direction: Woman leaves with child
· Intrigue: Where is she going?
· Twist: The building falls on nurses
· Mystery 2: The boy, now twelve years wears an eye-patch
· Overt Clue: Kevin the mystery baby in first scene
· Intrigue: He and three others sail an old boat through a crashing storm
· Trust: Kevin seems sympathetic
· Direction: Boys are in a dire struggle
· Trust: They appear to be brave
· Reveal 3: Boat is not at sea – Covered up by perspective & action
· Reveal 4: The boat is in a muddy, urban scrap yard – perspective & action
· Intrigue: The four are just playing in the rain. Where are their parents?
· Mystery 3: Kevin plays a different game; he’s a fairy hunter, they are pirates
· Intrigue: What is his obsession with fairies?
· Overt Clue: Imagines he’s a fairy hunter, is he?
· Direction: The others object, the game gets dangerous
· Reveal 5: Kevin pulls a real knife (“Fairy Hunter”) on his friends – Covered up we expected wood swords
· Intrigue: – Kevin takes game too seriously
· Intrigue: – Kevin almost loses his only eye then falls overboard
· Covert Clue: Is Kevin blind or going blind?
· Distrust: They don’t like Kevin’s game
· Twist: Kevin pops up, out of the mud
· Reveal 6: He’s okay, smiling – Covered up as he was hit very hard
· Clue Misdirection (character): Kevin’s still playing the Fairy Hunter game
· Twist: His friends are elated
· Trust: Even though they were playing rough Kevin stays positive, fun
· Direction: A priest, Father John (Tolkien) convinces Kevin’s mother, Mae to send him to the scout jamboree at Oakwood Green
· Distrust: Why is it so important to his mother for Kevin to go?
· Twist: Kevin thanks his mother
· Covert Clue: Is he even Mae’s son?
· Reveal 7: Kevin is scared – he does not want to go – Covered up as he appeased his mother
· Clue Misdirection (character): Kevin pretends to be happy with the trip
· Direction: Kevin and his friends board the transport truck
· Direction: Kevin’s friends half-heartedly convince him it will be fun – “maybe you can hunt fairies there.”
· Twist: Kevin takes the dig then excitedly calls a warning to the fairies from the transport truck. His friends laugh.
· Clue Misdirection (character): What does Tolly know about Kevin?
INCITING INCIDENT: The priest’s father, JRR “Tolly” Tolkien arrives to hear Kevin’s cry to the fairies then spouts parallel fairy lore. Kevin’s interest is now more than piqued. Tolly had agreed to tell scary fireside stories for the week-long outing.
· Direction: On the ride to the jamboree Kevin and his friends begin having fun
· Twist: Older scouts from a different pack ‘Hux,’ ‘Pisser’ and ‘Ace’ bully Kevin
· Distrust: Hux has it out for Kevin
· Direction: Scouts arrive in the village of Droitwich
· Reveal 8: Kevin can’t find his kitbag, his father’s knife is gone – Covered up as he was sitting on it
· Mystery 4: Did Hux take it?
· Clue Misdirection (writer): Hux does have Kevin’s knife
· Distrust: Kevin thinks Hux is to blame
· Mystery 5: Kevin is distracted by intriguing mystery girl. She taunts him then slips into a sweets shop
· Covert Clue: How does she know Kevin?
· Direction: Kevin’s and his friends enter the shop
· Trust: Kevin’s friends play along with him
· Twist: The girl has vanished and the strange shopkeeper claims she didn’t see the girl
· Distrust: The shopkeeper appears to be lying
· Direction: Kevin presses the shopkeeper
· Reveal 9: The shopkeeper knows something – Covered up, she had to have seen the girl
· Mystery 6: she gets spooked, abruptly asks them to leave
· Twist: Kevin exits last. The shopkeeper gives Kevin a dire warning about the girl
· Reveal 10: There is a connection between Kevin and the girl
· Distrust: Kevin feels threatened
· Direction: The scouts begin setting up camp, Kevin sneaks back to the village to find the girl – to no avail
· Twist: On the way back to Oakwood Kevin is followed by small, frightening fairies
· Clue Misdirection (writer): Fairies run/jump like rabbits
· Intrigue: Kevin begins running, gets turned around
· Direction: Kevin sees a girl riding a horse in the distance
· Distrust: The girl ignores Kevin
· Twist: He follows the rider to Oakwood Manor as the fairies chase him
· Direction: Kevin is panicked, out of breath is closing in on the rider
· Twist: Native American priest, Father Fox stops Kevin then sends him back to camp
· Distrust: Father Fox changes Kevin’s trajectory
· Direction: Kevin missed the first day’s craft activity; making a longbow
· Twist: The scouts must use their bows in the first night’s scout challenge
· Direction: Hux taunts Kevin knowing he did not make a bow. Tolly has Kevin use Jacko’s bow
· Distrust: Tolly knows Kevin will not win the game
· Twist: With great difficulty Kevin draws the arrow back, drops it then dry fires – the bow breaks
· Direction: Tolly has Kevin borrow Hux’s larger, much stronger bow
· Distrust: Tolly knows the stronger bow creates a greater challenge
· Twist: After several attempts Kevin can’t fully draw the string. He shoots at a close rock, ricochets the arrow, and wins the challenge
· Trust: Tolly’s faith in Kevin builds
· Direction: Kevin and Hux are assigned to dig a latrine. Hux walks off leaves Kevin to do the work
· Distrust: Hux abandons Kevin
· Twist: While digging Kevin finds what appears to be his Fairy Hunter knife under a rune stone
· Reveal 11: Fairies are real – one appears from the hole – Covered up as it was just Kevin’s imagination
TURNING POINT 1: Kevin accidentally kills the fairy
· Direction: Kevin yells, Hux returns to find Kevin crying, holding something
· Trust: Hux appears concerned
· Twist: Kevin shows Hux the dead fairy
· Reveal 12: Hux says he sees a rabbit – Covered up as we see the fairy
· Clue Misdirection (writer): Hux sees the truth
· Distrust: Hux is lying, threatening Kevin
· Mystery 7: Why can’t Hux see the fairy?
· Direction: Hux attempts to take the “rabbit” back to camp
· Twist: Kevin fends off Hux, buries the fairy
· Direction: Back at camp Hux taunts Kevin as he tries to tell his friends about the dead fairy.
· Twist: Tolly interrupts Kevin
· Distrust: Tolly doesn’t believe Kevin’s story
· Villain’s Plan 1: Tolly’s first fireside tale describes an evil fairy named Genevieve that lures scouts to their demise
· Twist: Kevin is convinced his mystery girl is Tolly’s fairy
· Trust: Kevin believes Tolly’s story
· Mystery 8: Kevin sees scouts leaving camp, heading toward Oakwood Manor
· Direction: Kevin follows behind the scouts, sees girl riding horse across pasture
· Distrust: She’s not Kevin’s mystery girl
· Twist: Kevin stops the rider, asks if she is Genevieve
· Reveal 13: she points to the bramble nearby – Covered up as we see the mystery girl
· Direction: The mystery girl runs toward them, the horse spooks
· Distrust: Why would she purposefully jump between Kevin and the horse?
· Life Threatening 2: The horse goes crazy, strikes at Kevin repeatedly
· Direction: The horse kicks the girl
· Twist: Kevin fights the horse off, pulls girl to safety
· Trust: Mystery girl saved by Kevin
· Direction: The horse and rider run off
· Twist: Kevin helps the girl up, her left eye is bloodied
· Reveal 14: The girl introduces herself as Genevieve Oakwood – Covered up, she can’t possibly be the fairy Genevieve
· Clue Misdirection (character): Genevieve is a spoiled rich girl, out of Kevin’s league
· Direction: Kevin helps Genevieve to Oakwood Manor
· Reveal 15: Kevin is met by two odd nurses – Covered up the grand manor now seems institutional
· Distrust: Kevin is unnerved by the nurses
· Covert Clue: Does she know what is going on at Oakwood?
· Twist: Genevieve tells the nurses her sister tried to kill Kevin then is quickly whisked away
· Distrust: Kevin is unsure the rider tried to hurt/kill him
MIDPOINT
· Direction: Left alone, Kevin searches through the house
· Reveal 16: Kevin sees a horribly disfigured (dead?) man lying back in a dental chair being tended by a nurse – Covered up as the room is hidden away
· Distrust: The shocking sight panics Kevin
· Life Threatening 3: Oldfather Oakwood is rejuvenated as the nurse “assembles” (transforms) him
· Reveal 17: Oldfather sees Kevin – Covered up as Oldfather is very much alive
· Direction: Kevin runs to a great hall
· Reveal 18: He sees the family elders leading scouts into a hidden cavern below the manor – Covered up as the scouts are all here
· Distrust: Everything at Oakwood seems evil
· Direction: Kevin runs from Oakwood, back to the camp
· Twist: Scoutmasters, Martin and Beatrice Shipley don’t listen to Kevin send him to peel potatoes with Jacko and Danny
· Distrust: The Shipleys don’t believe Kevin, say Father John said this might happen
· Direction: Kevin asks where Jim is. Jim may be missing, Hux interrupts them
· Twist: Kevin snaps at him and Hux cuts Kevin’s hand
· Direction: The camp war games begin, Kevin’s group is paired with Hux’s group
· Twist: The group wins the camp-wide war games championship, get invited to Oakwood Manor for a dinner
· Trust: Hux appears to warm up to Kevin, apologizes
· Direction: The scouts begin the next craft, neckerchief woggles. Kevin carves a wood woggle with his new-found rune knife – cuts himself, the wound heals
· Twist: Father Fox trades his “magic” carved bone woggle for Kevin’s woggle
· Clue Misdirection (writer): Woggle is not magic
· Trust: Father Fox appreciated Kevin’s talents, notices Kevin’s cut is gone
· Direction: Tolly delivers another scary fireside story, a small group of rangers fighting a band of fairies (ranger knife vs. hunter knife)
· Distrust; Kevin thinks that Tolly knows more than he is letting on
· Twist: Kevin enlists his friends to find Jim
· Direction: Kevin, Jacko and Danny look around the expansive camp for Jim
· Twist: Hux stalks them through the darkness
· Distrust: Kevin believes Hux may be involved in the disappearances
· Direction: Kevin theorizes Jim may have been taken to Oakwood Manor
· Twist: Kevin asks his friends to help him search for Jim during the Oakwood dinner
· Direction: Hux overhears them
· Life Threatening 4: At the Oakwood Manor dinner Kevin follows Hux, gets separated from his friends
· Reveal 19: Kevin discovers Genevieve’s sister is dead, stabbed – Covered up, she’s hidden in closet
· Covert Clue: Did Genevieve kill her sister?
· Distrust: Kevin believes Genevieve may have killed her
· Direction: Kevin runs into Hux
· Trust: Kevin reluctantly relays his fears
· Twist: Hux tells Kevin he is a ranger hunting fairies
· Trust: Hux tries to give Kevin back his knife
· Twist: Kevin tells him to keep it
· Villain’s Plan 2: Kevin overhears fairy elders discussing the looming war with humankind
· Mystery 9: Kevin tells Tolly about Jim, Genevieve and the fairy’s plan. Tolly discovers Kevin is almost blind, can’t truly trust what Kevin has “seen”
· Covert Clue: Can what Kevin has seen be believed?
· Direction: Tolly tells Kevin that Jim’s parents picked him up for an emergency trip to India.
· Distrust: Kevin doesn’t believe him and runs away
· Direction: Halfway across the pasture Kevin stops, turns back meets Genevieve, he tells her everything
· Twist: They find Hux, he’s been stabbed
· Reveal 20: Hux was stabbed with Kevin’s knife – Covered up, could Kevin be a suspect?
· Life Threatening 5: Genevieve admits to killing her sister and Hux to protect Kevin
· Twist: Genevieve tells Kevin he is the blood fairy king
· Direction: Genevieve tells Kevin they have always been on the same path
· Overt Clue: How does she know she & Kevin are on the same path?
· Covert Clue: Are they actually on the same path?
· Twist: Genevieve tells Kevin he was adopted
· Distrust: Genevieve’s “path” story matches the shopkeepers
· Direction: Kevin runs away, heads back to camp
· Trust: Kevin enlists the help of the Shipleys
· Direction: The Shipleys take Kevin back to Oakwood
· Twist: They speak to the two nurses who call Oldfather Oakwood
TURNING POINT 2: Oldfather tells the Shipleys that Genevieve is actually Grace Greene, a blind patient at Oakwood Asylum
· Overt Clue: Is Genevieve Genevieve?
· Covert Clue: Is Genevieve insane?
· Reveal 21: Kevin is now completely blind – Covered up, he’s been working hard to keep it a secret
· Direction: The Shipleys take Kevin back to camp
· Trust: Kevin opens up to the Shipleys
· Distrust: Kevin asks about Jim’s parents and the trip to India, they don’t remember anyone named Jim
· Villain’s Plan 3: Kevin stumbles around camp searching for his friends, they are all missing – “the war” has begun
· Direction: Tolly finds Kevin and leads him to the truck
· Distrust: Hands Kevin his kitbag
· Distrust: Kevin knows his kitbag was lost
· Reveal 22: Kevin is on the wrong truck, there are no scouts, just gear – Covered up, perspective & timing.
· Clue Misdirection (writer): Kevin’s friends are on an adjacent truck
· Mystery 10: On the ride home Kevin replays everything he had seen
· Trust: Tolly was right, Kevin could have imagined it all
· Direction: Kevin realizes he could have been mistaken about everything
· Reveal 23: The fairies chasing him were rabbits, the fairy he killed – a rabbit, Genevieve’s “dead” sister was a large doll, Oldfather’s transformation, Hux’s body, the missing scouts… everything including Genevieve – Covered up, all this was imagined
· Mystery 11: Now home, Kevin’s life is sitting around the house
· Reveal 24: Kevin sits with his blind, catatonic father – Covered up, assumed his father was just blind
· Direction: Kevin feeds his father
· Twist: Wipes his face and puts his father’s mask on
· Direction: Kevin asks his father “Who am I? Am I adopted?”
· Overt Clue: Is he even Mae’s son?
· Reveal 25: Kevin’s mother sits next to them answers, “He doesn’t know.” Covered up, perspective & timing
· Mystery 12: Kevin asks his mother about his true origin, the three nurses and their fairy stories
· Direction: His mother says “Kevin you were not adopted”
· Reveal 26: She says “You were given to me.” Covered up, assumed that Kevin was her child
· Mystery 13: A postman drops a letter through the mail slot
· Direction: Kevin’s mother says the letter is from Tolly, Kevin is elated
· Twist: She “reads” it saying it was from someone named Tolly. “He hopes you are well. He says he always wanted to believe in fairies, but they are not real.”
· Direction: His mother sets the letter down
· Reveal 27: The letter is from Oakwood Asylum – Kevin has been accepted as a patient – Covered up as Kevin is blind
· Life Threatening 6: Kevin’s mother takes him to Oakwood Asylum
· Covert Clue: Could Kevin be a fairy?
· Direction: Oldfather Oakwood greets Mae and Kevin then calls for an escort to show Kevin around the grounds
· Reveal 28: His escort, Grace Green takes his hand – Covered up, Kevin is blind
· Trust: Kevin asks her name
· Reveal 29: She answers – “Genevieve.” Covered up, assumed she is actually Grace Greene
· Clue Misdirection (character): Genevieve is Genevieve Oakwood
CLIMAX: Kevin in the great hall sits back in the dental chair
· Direction: Oldfather watches as the nurses “assemble” Kevin with new eyes
· Twist: Genevieve looks on
RESOLUTION: Oldfather and the three nurses, as in the first scene, wrap Kevin’s eyes
· Direction: Oakwood Asylum, a grand hall.
· Reveal 30: Kevin and Genevieve sit in matching thrones, smiling, looking into each other’s eyes
· Distrust/Intrigue: Will Kevin and Genevieve lead the fairies against mankind?
· Overt Clue: Kevin and Genevieve will lead the war against humankind
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KEN CALLAWAY GIVES GREAT CLUES
What I learned… This assignment brought me back to assignment # 8 where the (hopefully) singular thread that (hopefully) runs through the story has an effect on the entire work.
That said I feel I will need to work much harder to interweave my clues to deliver the necessary payoff for the audience… the OMG ‘I totally should have seen that coming’ as opposed to the OMG I what a great but impossible to figure out twist (see The Usual Suspects, cuz who really saw that one coming?)
· Main Mystery 1: Who is Kevin Frye?
· Overt Clue: Kevin the mystery baby in first scene
· Overt Clue: Imagines he’s a fairy hunter, is he?
· Covert Clue: Is Kevin blind or going blind?
· Overt Clue: Is he even Mae’s son?
· Covert Clue: Could Kevin be a fairy?
· Main Mystery 2: Is Genevieve Oakwood a fairy?
· Covert Clue: How does she know Kevin?
· Covert Clue: Does she know what is going on at Oakwood?
· Covert Clue: Did she kill her sister?
· Overt Clue: Is Genevieve Genevieve?
· Overt Clue: How does she know she & Kevin are on the same path?
· Covert Clue: Is Genevieve insane?
· Main Mystery 3: What is the connection between the two?
· Overt Clue: Are they actually on the same path?
· Covert Clue: Can what Kevin has seen be believed?
· Overt Clue: Will Kevin and Genevieve lead the war against humankind?
LIST OF MAIN CHARACTERS
· Hero: Kevin Frye
· Villain: Genevieve Oakwood
· Red Herring Character: Hugh “Hux” Huxley
· Trusted but shouldn’t be: Genevieve Oakwood
· Isn’t trusted, but should be: JRR “Tolly” Tolkien
CHARACTER’S BASIC STATE
· Hero: Kevin Frye – Trustworthy
· Villain: Genevieve Oakwood – Untrustworthy
· Red Herring Character: Hugh “Hux” Huxley – Trustworthy
· Trusted but shouldn’t be: Mae Frye, mother – Untrustworthy
· Isn’t trusted, but should be: JRR “Tolly” Tolkien – Trustworthy
HOW TRUST and DISTRUST UNFOLDS
· Hero / Villain: The deeper Kevin Falls for Genevieve the less he can trust her
· Hero / Red Herring: Kevin discovers Hux is actually fighting against the fairies
· Hero / Trusted but shouldn’t be: As the story progresses the Kevin learns that his blood pits him against humankind
· Hero / Isn’t trusted, but should be: When Kevin learns his true nature he has no choice but to join the fairies
OPENING: Three frightening nurses hand a young woman an infant with bloody, bandaged eyes during London’s blitz bombings.
· Life threatening 1: Will the boy live?
· Mystery 1: Who is the child? Who is the woman? Who are the nurses?
· Trust: The woman seems caring
· Distrust: The nurses seem otherworldly
· Reveal 1: As the woman turns away she seems uncaring – Covered up by her initial response.
· Direction: Woman leaves with child
· Intrigue: Where is she going?
· Twist: The building falls on nurses
· Mystery 2: The boy, now twelve years wears an eye-patch
· Overt Clue: Kevin the mystery baby in first scene
· Intrigue: He and three others sail an old boat through a crashing storm
· Trust: Kevin seems sympathetic
· Direction: Boys are in a dire struggle
· Trust: They appear to be brave
· Reveal 3: Boat is not at sea – Covered up by perspective & action
· Reveal 4: The boat is in a muddy, urban scrap yard – perspective & action
· Intrigue: The four are just playing in the rain. Where are their parents?
· Mystery 3: Kevin plays a different game; he’s a fairy hunter, they are pirates
· Intrigue: What is his obsession with fairies?
· Overt Clue: Imagines he’s a fairy hunter, is he?
· Direction: The others object, the game gets dangerous
· Reveal 5: Kevin pulls a real knife on his friends – Covered up we expected wood swords
· Intrigue: – Kevin takes game too seriously
· Intrigue: – Kevin almost loses his only eye then falls overboard
· Covert Clue: Is Kevin blind or going blind?
· Distrust: They don’t like Kevin’s game
· Twist: Kevin pops up, out of the mud
· Reveal 6: He’s okay, smiling – Covered up as he was hit very hard
· Twist: His friends are elated
· Trust: Even though they were playing rough Kevin stays positive, fun
· Direction: A priest, Father John (Tolkien) convinces Kevin’s mother, Mae to send him to the scout jamboree at Oakwood Green
· Distrust: Why is it so important to his mother for Kevin to go?
· Twist: Kevin thanks his mother
· Covert Clue: Is he even Mae’s son?
· Reveal 7: Kevin is scared – he does not want to go – Covered up as he appeased his mother
· Direction: Kevin and his friends board the transport truck
· Direction: Kevin’s friends half-heartedly convince him it will be fun – “maybe you can hunt fairies there.”
· Twist: Kevin takes the dig then excitedly calls a warning to the fairies from the transport truck. His friends laugh.
INCITING INCIDENT: The priest’s father, JRR “Tolly” Tolkien arrives to hear Kevin’s cry to the fairies then spouts parallel fairy lore. Kevin’s interest is now more than piqued. Tolly had agreed to tell scary fireside stories for the week-long outing.
· Direction: On the ride to the jamboree Kevin and his friends begin having fun
· Twist: Older scouts from a different pack ‘Hux,’ ‘Pisser’ and ‘Ace’ bully Kevin
· Distrust: Hux has it out for Kevin
· Direction: Scouts arrive in the village of Droitwich
· Reveal 8: Kevin can’t find his kitbag, his father’s knife is gone – Covered up as he was sitting on it
· Mystery 4: Did Hux take it?
· Distrust: Kevin thinks Hux is to blame
· Mystery 5: Kevin is distracted by intriguing mystery girl. She taunts him then slips into a sweets shop
· Covert Clue: How does she know Kevin?
· Direction: Kevin’s and his friends enter the shop
· Trust: Kevin’s friends play along with him
· Twist: The girl has vanished and the strange shopkeeper claims she didn’t see the girl
· Distrust: The shopkeeper appears to be lying
· Direction: Kevin presses the shopkeeper
· Reveal 9: The shopkeeper knows something – Covered up, she had to have seen the girl
· Mystery 6: she gets spooked, abruptly asks them to leave
· Twist: Kevin exits last. The shopkeeper gives Kevin a dire warning about the girl
· Reveal 10: There is a connection between Kevin and the girl
· Distrust: Kevin feels threatened
· Direction: The scouts begin setting up camp, Kevin sneaks back to the village to find the girl – to no avail
· Twist: On the way back to Oakwood Kevin is followed by small, frightening fairies
· Intrigue: Kevin begins running, gets turned around
· Direction: Kevin sees a girl riding a horse in the distance
· Distrust: The girl ignores Kevin
· Twist: He follows the rider to Oakwood Manor as the fairies chase him
· Direction: Kevin is panicked, out of breath is closing in on the rider
· Twist: Native American priest, Father Fox stops Kevin then sends him back to camp
· Distrust: Father Fox changes Kevin’s trajectory
· Direction: Kevin missed the first day’s craft activity; making a longbow
· Twist: The scouts must use their bows in the first night’s scout challenge
· Direction: Hux taunts Kevin knowing he did not make a bow. Tolly has Kevin use Jacko’s bow
· Distrust: Tolly knows Kevin will not win the game
· Twist: With great difficulty Kevin draws the arrow back, drops it then dry fires – the bow breaks
· Direction: Tolly has Kevin borrow Hux’s larger, much stronger bow
· Distrust: Tolly knows the stronger bow creates a greater challenge
· Twist: After several attempts Kevin can’t budge the string. He lies on his back, uses his feet and wins the challenge
· Trust: Tolly’s faith in Kevin builds
· Direction: Kevin and Hux are assigned to dig a latrine. Hux walks off leaves Kevin to do the work
· Distrust: Hux abandons Kevin
· Twist: While digging Kevin finds what appears to be his father’s knife under a rune stone
· Reveal 11: Fairies are real – one appears from the hole – Covered up as it was just Kevin’s imagination
TURNING POINT 1: Kevin accidentally kills the fairy
· Direction: Kevin yells, Hux returns to find Kevin crying, holding something
· Trust: Hux appears concerned
· Twist: Kevin shows Hux the dead fairy
· Reveal 12: Hux says he sees a rabbit – Covered up as we see the fairy
· Distrust: Hux is lying, threatening Kevin
· Mystery 7: Why can’t Hux see the fairy?
· Direction: Hux attempts to take the “rabbit” back to camp
· Twist: Kevin fends off Hux, buries the fairy
· Direction: Back at camp Hux taunts Kevin as he tries to tell his friends about the dead fairy.
· Twist: Tolly interrupts Kevin
· Distrust: Tolly doesn’t believe Kevin’s story
· Villain’s Plan 1: Tolly’s first fireside tale describes an evil fairy named Genevieve that lures scouts to their demise
· Twist: Kevin is convinced his mystery girl is Tolly’s fairy
· Trust: Kevin believes Tolly’s story
· Mystery 8: Kevin sees scouts leaving camp, heading toward Oakwood Manor
· Direction: Kevin follows behind the scouts, sees girl riding horse across pasture
· Distrust: She’s not Kevin’s mystery girl
· Twist: Kevin stops the rider, asks if she is Genevieve
· Reveal 13: she points to the bramble nearby – Covered up as we see the mystery girl
· Direction: The mystery girl runs toward them, the horse spooks
· Distrust: Why would she purposefully jump between Kevin and the horse?
· Life Threatening 2: The horse goes crazy, strikes at Kevin repeatedly
· Direction: The horse kicks the girl
· Twist: Kevin fights the horse off, pulls girl to safety
· Trust: Mystery girl saved by Kevin
· Direction: The horse and rider run off
· Twist: Kevin helps the girl up, her left eye is bloodied
· Reveal 14: The girl introduces herself as Genevieve Oakwood – Covered up, she can’t possibly be the fairy Genevieve
· Direction: Kevin helps Genevieve to Oakwood Manor
· Reveal 15: Kevin is met by two odd nurses – Covered up the grand manor now seems institutional
· Distrust: Kevin is unnerved by the nurses
· Covert Clue: Does she know what is going on at Oakwood?
· Twist: Genevieve tells the nurses her sister tried to kill Kevin then is quickly whisked away
· Distrust: Kevin is unsure the rider tried to hurt/kill him
MIDPOINT
· Direction: Left alone, Kevin searches through the house
· Reveal 16: Kevin sees a horribly disfigured (dead?) man lying back in a dental chair being tended by a nurse – Covered up as the room is hidden away
· Distrust: The shocking sight panics Kevin
· Life Threatening 3: Oldfather Oakwood is rejuvenated as the nurse “assembles” (transforms) him
· Reveal 17: Oldfather sees Kevin – Covered up as Oldfather is very much alive
· Direction: Kevin runs to a great hall
· Reveal 18: He sees the family elders leading scouts into a hidden cavern below the manor – Covered up as the scouts are all here
· Distrust: Everything at Oakwood seems evil
· Direction: Kevin runs from Oakwood, back to the camp
· Twist: Scoutmasters, Martin and Beatrice Shipley don’t listen to Kevin send him to peel potatoes with Jacko and Danny
· Distrust: The Shipleys don’t believe Kevin, say Father John said this might happen
· Direction: Kevin asks where Jim is. Jim may be missing, Hux interrupts them
· Twist: Kevin snaps at him and Hux cuts Kevin’s hand
· Direction: The camp war games begin, Kevin’s group is paired with Hux’s group
· Twist: The group wins the camp-wide war games championship, get invited to Oakwood Manor for a dinner
· Trust: Hux appears to warm up to Kevin, apologizes
· Direction: The scouts begin the next craft, neckerchief woggles. Kevin carves a wood woggle with his rune knife
· Twist: Father Fox trades his “magic” carved bone woggle for Kevin’s woggle
· Trust: Father Fox appreciated Kevin’s talents
· Direction: Tolly delivers another scary fireside story, a small group of rangers fighting a band of fairies
· Distrust; Kevin feels that Tolly knows more than he is letting on
· Twist: Kevin enlists his friends to find Jim
· Direction: Kevin, Jacko and Danny look around the expansive camp for Jim
· Twist: Hux stalks them through the darkness
· Distrust: Kevin believes Hux may be involved in the disappearances
· Direction: Kevin theorizes Jim may have been taken to Oakwood Manor
· Twist: Kevin asks his friends to help him search for Jim during the Oakwood dinner
· Direction: Hux overhears them
· Life Threatening 4: At the Oakwood Manor dinner Kevin follows Hux, gets separated from his friends
· Reveal 19: Kevin discovers Genevieve’s sister is dead, stabbed – Covered up, she’s hidden in closet
· Covert Clue: Did Genevieve kill her sister?
· Distrust: Kevin believes Genevieve may have killed her
· Direction: Kevin runs into Hux
· Trust: Kevin reluctantly relays his fears
· Twist: Hux tells Kevin he is a ranger hunting fairies
· Trust: Hux tries to give Kevin back his knife
· Twist: Kevin tells him to keep it
· Villain’s Plan 2: Kevin overhears fairy elders discussing the looming war with humankind
· Mystery 9: Kevin tells Tolly about Jim, Genevieve and the fairy’s plan. Tolly discovers Kevin is almost blind, can’t truly trust what Kevin has “seen”
· Covert Clue: Can what Kevin has seen be believed?
· Direction: Tolly tells Kevin that Jim’s parents picked him up for an emergency trip to India.
· Distrust: Kevin doesn’t believe him and runs away
· Direction: Halfway across the pasture Kevin stops, turns back meets Genevieve, he tells her everything
· Twist: They find Hux, he’s been stabbed
· Reveal 20: Hux was stabbed with Kevin’s knife – Covered up, could Kevin be a suspect?
· Life Threatening 5: Genevieve admits to killing her sister and Hux to protect Kevin
· Twist: Genevieve tells Kevin he is the blood fairy king
· Direction: Genevieve tells Kevin they have always been on the same path
· Overt Clue: How does she know she & Kevin are on the same path?
· Covert Clue: Are they actually on the same path?
· Twist: Genevieve tells Kevin he was adopted
· Distrust: Genevieve’s “path” story matches the shopkeepers
· Direction: Kevin runs away, heads back to camp
· Trust: Kevin enlists the help of the Shipleys
· Direction: The Shipleys take Kevin back to Oakwood
· Twist: They speak to the two nurses who call Oldfather Oakwood
TURNING POINT 2: Oldfather tells the Shipleys that Genevieve is actually Grace Greene, a blind patient at Oakwood Asylum
· Overt Clue: Is Genevieve Genevieve?
· Covert Clue: Is Genevieve insane?
· Reveal 21: Kevin is now completely blind – Covered up, he’s been working hard to keep it a secret
· Direction: The Shipleys take Kevin back to camp
· Trust: Kevin opens up to the Shipleys
· Distrust: Kevin asks about Jim’s parents and the trip to India, they don’t remember anyone named Jim
· Villain’s Plan 3: Kevin stumbles around camp searching for his friends, they are all missing – “the war” has begun
· Direction: Tolly finds Kevin and leads him to the truck
· Distrust: Hands Kevin his kitbag
· Distrust: Kevin knows his kitbag was lost
· Reveal 22: Kevin is on the wrong truck, there are no scouts, just gear – Covered up, perspective & timimg
· Mystery 10: On the ride home Kevin replays everything he had seen
· Trust: Tolly was right, Kevin could have imagined it all
· Direction: Kevin realizes he could have been mistaken about everything
· Reveal 23: The fairies chasing him were rabbits, the fairy he killed – a rabbit, Genevieve’s “dead” sister was a large doll, Oldfather’s transformation, Hux’s body, the missing scouts… everything including Genevieve – Covered up, all this was imagined
· Mystery 11: Now home, Kevin’s life is sitting around the house
· Reveal 24: Kevin sits with his blind, catatonic father – Covered up, assumed his father was just blind
· Direction: Kevin feeds his father
· Twist: Wipes his face and puts his father’s mask on
· Direction: Kevin asks his father “Who am I? Am I adopted?”
· Overt Clue: Is he even Mae’s son?
· Reveal 25: Kevin’s mother sits next to them answers, “He doesn’t know.” Covered up, perspective & timing
· Mystery 12: Kevin asks his mother about his true origin, the three nurses and their fairy stories
· Direction: His mother says “Kevin you were not adopted”
· Reveal 26: She says “You were given to me.” Covered up, assumed that Kevin was her child
· Mystery 13: A postman drops a letter through the mail slot
· Direction: Kevin’s mother says the letter is from Tolly, Kevin is elated
· Twist: She “reads” it saying it was from someone named Tolly. “He hopes you are well. He says he always wanted to believe in fairies, but they are not real.”
· Direction: His mother sets the letter down
· Reveal 27: The letter is from Oakwood Asylum – Kevin has been accepted as a patient – Covered up as Kevin is blind
· Life Threatening 6: Kevin’s mother takes him to Oakwood Asylum
· Covert Clue: Could Kevin be a fairy?
· Direction: Oldfather Oakwood greets Mae and Kevin then calls for an escort to show Kevin around the grounds
· Reveal 28: His escort, Grace Green takes his hand – Covered up, Kevin is blind
· Trust: Kevin asks her name
· Reveal 29: She answers – “Genevieve.” Covered up, assumed she is actually Grace Greene
CLIMAX: Kevin in the great hall sits back in the dental chair
· Direction: Oldfather watches as the nurses “assemble” Kevin with new eyes
· Twist: Genevieve looks on
RESOLUTION: Oldfather and the three nurses, as in the first scene, wrap Kevin’s eyes
· Direction: Oakwood Asylum, a grand hall.
· Reveal 30: Kevin and Genevieve sit in matching thrones, smiling, looking into each other’s eyes
· Distrust/Intrigue: Will Kevin and Genevieve lead the fairies against mankind?
· Overt Clue: Kevin and Genevieve will lead the war against humankind
-
KEN CALLAWAY’S DRAMATIC REVEALS
This assignment made me realize how important reveals are as opposed to exposition. This (hopefully) will drive the action and (hopefully) will keep the audience guessing, invested in discovering the mysteries.
OPENING: Three frightening nurses hand a young woman an infant with bloody, bandaged eyes during London’s blitz bombings.
· Life threatening 1: Will the boy live?
· Mystery 1: Who is the child? Who is the woman? Who are the nurses?
· Trust: The woman seems caring
· Distrust: The nurses seem otherworldly
· Reveal 1: As the woman turns away she seems uncaring – Covered up by her initial response.
· Direction: Woman leaves with child
· Intrigue: Where is she going?
· Twist: The building falls on nurses
· Mystery 2: The boy, now twelve years wears an eye-patch
· Reveal 2: The boy is alive – Covered he looked very bad off
· Intrigue: He and three others sail an old boat through a crashing storm
· Trust: Kevin seems sympathetic
· Direction: Boys are in a dire struggle
· Trust: They appear to be brave
· Reveal 3: Boat is not at sea – Covered up by perspective & action
· Reveal 4: The boat is in a muddy, urban scrap yard – perspective & action
· Intrigue: The four are just playing in the rain. Where are their parents?
· Mystery 3: Kevin plays a different game; he’s a fairy hunter, they are pirates
· Intrigue: What is his obsession with fairies?
· Direction: The others object, the game gets dangerous
· Reveal 5: Kevin pulls a real knife on his friends – Covered up we expected wood swords
· Intrigue: – Kevin takes game too seriously
· Intrigue: – Kevin almost loses his only eye then falls overboard
· Distrust: They don’t like Kevin’s game
· Twist: Kevin pops up, out of the mud
· Reveal 6: He’s okay, smiling – Covered up as he was hit very hard
· Twist: His friends are elated
· Trust: Even though they were playing rough Kevin stays positive, fun
· Direction: A priest, Father John (Tolkien) convinces Kevin’s mother, Mae to send him to the scout jamboree at Oakwood Green
· Distrust: Why is it so important to his mother for Kevin to go?
· Twist: Kevin thanks his mother
· Reveal 7: Kevin is scared – he does not want to go – Covered up as he appeased his mother
· Direction: Kevin and his friends board the transport truck
· Direction: Kevin’s friends half-heartedly convince him it will be fun – “maybe you can hunt fairies there.”
· Twist: Kevin takes the dig then excitedly calls a warning to the fairies from the transport truck. His friends laugh.
INCITING INCIDENT: The priest’s father, JRR “Tolly” Tolkien arrives to hear Kevin’s cry to the fairies then spouts parallel fairy lore. Kevin’s interest is now more than piqued. Tolly had agreed to tell scary fireside stories for the week-long outing.
· Direction: On the ride to the jamboree Kevin and his friends begin having fun
· Twist: Older scouts from a different pack ‘Hux,’ ‘Pisser’ and ‘Ace’ bully Kevin
· Distrust: Hux has it out for Kevin
· Direction: Scouts arrive in the village of Droitwich
· Reveal 8: Kevin can’t find his kitbag, his father’s knife is gone – Covered up as he was sitting on it
· Mystery 4: Did Hux take it?
· Distrust: Kevin thinks Hux is to blame
· Mystery 5: Kevin is distracted by intriguing mystery girl. She taunts him then slips into a sweets shop
· Direction: Kevin’s and his friends enter the shop
· Trust: Kevin’s friends play along with him
· Twist: The girl has vanished and the strange shopkeeper claims she didn’t see the girl
· Distrust: The shopkeeper appears to be lying
· Direction: Kevin presses the shopkeeper
· Reveal 9: The shopkeeper knows something – Covered up, she had to have seen the girl
· Mystery 6: she gets spooked, abruptly asks them to leave
· Twist: Kevin exits last. The shopkeeper gives Kevin a dire warning about the girl
· Reveal 10: There is a connection between Kevin and the girl
· Distrust: Kevin feels threatened
· Direction: The scouts begin setting up camp, Kevin sneaks back to the village to find the girl – to no avail
· Twist: On the way back to Oakwood Kevin is followed by small, frightening fairies
· Intrigue: Kevin begins running, gets turned around
· Direction: Kevin sees a girl riding a horse in the distance
· Distrust: The girl ignores Kevin
· Twist: He follows the rider to Oakwood Manor as the fairies chase him
· Direction: Kevin is panicked, out of breath is closing in on the rider
· Twist: Native American priest, Father Fox stops Kevin then sends him back to camp
· Distrust: Father Fox changes Kevin’s trajectory
· Direction: Kevin missed the first day’s craft activity; making a longbow
· Twist: The scouts must use their bows in the first night’s scout challenge
· Direction: Hux taunts Kevin knowing he did not make a bow. Tolly has Kevin use Jacko’s bow
· Distrust: Tolly knows Kevin will not win the game
· Twist: With great difficulty Kevin draws the arrow back, drops it then dry fires – the bow breaks
· Direction: Tolly has Kevin borrow Hux’s larger, much stronger bow
· Distrust: Tolly knows the stronger bow creates a greater challenge
· Twist: After several attempts Kevin can’t budge the string. He lies on his back, uses his feet and wins the challenge
· Trust: Tolly’s faith in Kevin builds
· Direction: Kevin and Hux are assigned to dig a latrine. Hux walks off leaves Kevin to do the work
· Distrust: Hux abandons Kevin
· Twist: While digging Kevin finds what appears to be his father’s knife under a rune stone
· Reveal 11: Fairies are real – one appears from the hole – Covered up as it was just Kevin’s imagination
TURNING POINT 1: Kevin accidentally kills the fairy
· Direction: Kevin yells, Hux returns to find Kevin crying, holding something
· Trust: Hux appears concerned
· Twist: Kevin shows Hux the dead fairy
· Reveal 12: Hux says he sees a rabbit – Covered up as we see the fairy
· Distrust: Hux is lying, threatening Kevin
· Mystery 7: Why can’t Hux see the fairy?
· Direction: Hux attempts to take the “rabbit” back to camp
· Twist: Kevin fends off Hux, buries the fair
· Direction: Back at camp Hux taunts Kevin as he tries to tell his friends about the dead fairy.
· Twist: Tolly interrupts Kevin
· Distrust: Tolly doesn’t believe Kevin’s story
· Villain’s Plan 1: Tolly’s first fireside tale describes an evil fairy named Genevieve that lures scouts to their demise
· Twist: Kevin is convinced his mystery girl is Tolly’s fairy
· Trust: Kevin believes Tolly’s story
· Mystery 8: Kevin sees scouts leaving camp, heading toward Oakwood Manor
· Direction: Kevin follows behind the scouts, sees girl riding horse across pasture
· Distrust: She’s not Kevin’s mystery girl
· Twist: Kevin stops the rider, asks if she is Genevieve
· Reveal 13: she points to the bramble nearby – Covered up as we see the mystery girl
· Direction: The mystery girl runs toward them, the horse spooks
· Distrust: Why would she purposefully jump between Kevin and the horse?
· Life Threatening 2: The horse goes crazy, strikes at Kevin repeatedly
· Direction: The horse kicks the girl
· Twist: Kevin fights the horse off, pulls girl to safety
· Trust: Mystery girl saved by Kevin
· Direction: The horse and rider run off
· Twist: Kevin helps the girl up, her left eye is bloodied
· Reveal 14: The girl introduces herself as Genevieve Oakwood – Covered up, she can’t possibly be the fairy Genevieve
· Direction: Kevin helps Genevieve to Oakwood Manor
· Reveal 15: Kevin is met by two odd nurses – Covered up the grand manor now seems institutional
· Distrust: Kevin is unnerved by the nurses
· Twist: Genevieve tells the nurses her sister tried to kill Kevin then is quickly whisked away
· Distrust: Kevin is unsure the rider tried to hurt/kill him
MIDPOINT
· Direction: Left alone, Kevin searches through the house
· Reveal 16: Kevin sees a horribly disfigured (dead?) man lying back in a dental chair being tended by a nurse – Covered up as the room is hidden away
· Distrust: The shocking sight panics Kevin
· Life Threatening 3: Oldfather Oakwood is rejuvenated as the nurse “assembles” (transforms) him
· Reveal 17: Oldfather sees Kevin – Covered up as Oldfather is very much alive
· Direction: Kevin runs to a great hall
· Reveal 18: He sees the family elders leading scouts into a hidden cavern below the manor – Covered up as the scouts are all here
· Distrust: Everything at Oakwood seems evil
· Direction: Kevin runs from Oakwood, back to the camp
· Twist: Scoutmasters, Martin and Beatrice Shipley don’t listen to Kevin send him to peel potatoes with Jacko and Danny
· Distrust: The Shipleys don’t believe Kevin, say Father John said this might happen
· Direction: Kevin asks where Jim is. Jim may be missing, Hux interrupts them
· Twist: Kevin snaps at him and Hux cuts Kevin’s hand
· Direction: The camp war games begin, Kevin’s group is paired with Hux’s group
· Twist: The group wins the camp-wide war games championship, get invited to Oakwood Manor for a dinner
· Trust: Hux appears to warm up to Kevin, apologizes
· Direction: The scouts begin the next craft, neckerchief woggles. Kevin carves a wood woggle with his rune knife
· Twist: Father Fox trades his “magic” carved bone woggle for Kevin’s woggle
· Trust: Father Fox appreciated Kevin’s talents
· Direction: Tolly delivers another scary fireside story, a small group of rangers fighting a band of fairies
· Distrust; Kevin feels that Tolly knows more than he is letting on
· Twist: Kevin enlists his friends to find Jim
· Direction: Kevin, Jacko and Danny look around the expansive camp for Jim
· Twist: Hux stalks them through the darkness
· Distrust: Kevin believes Hux may be involved in the disappearances
· Direction: Kevin theorizes Jim may have been taken to Oakwood Manor
· Twist: Kevin asks his friends to help him search for Jim during the Oakwood dinner
· Direction: Hux overhears them
· Life Threatening 4: At the Oakwood Manor dinner Kevin follows Hux, gets separated from his friends
· Reveal 19: Kevin discovers Genevieve’s sister is dead, stabbed – Covered up, she’s hidden in closet
· Distrust: Kevin believes Genevieve may have killed her
· Direction: Kevin runs into Hux
· Trust: Kevin reluctantly relays his fears
· Twist: Hux tells Kevin he is a ranger hunting fairies
· Trust: Hux tries to give Kevin back his knife
· Twist: Kevin tells him to keep it
· Villain’s Plan 2: Kevin overhears fairy elders discussing the looming war with humankind
· Mystery 9: Kevin tells Tolly about Jim, Genevieve and the fairy’s plan. Tolly discovers Kevin is almost blind, can’t truly trust what Kevin has “seen”
· Direction: Tolly tells Kevin that Jim’s parents picked him up for an emergency trip to India.
· Distrust: Kevin doesn’t believe him and runs away
· Direction: Halfway across the pasture Kevin stops, turns back meets Genevieve, he tells her everything
· Twist: They find Hux, he’s been stabbed
· Reveal 20: Hux was stabbed with Kevin’s knife – Covered up, could Kevin be a suspect?
· Life Threatening 5: Genevieve admits to killing her sister and Hux to protect Kevin
· Twist: Genevieve tells Kevin he is the blood fairy king
· Direction: Genevieve tells Kevin they have always been on the same path
· Twist: Genevieve tells Kevin he was adopted
· Distrust: Genevieve’s “path” story matches the shopkeepers
· Direction: Kevin runs away, heads back to camp
· Trust: Kevin enlists the help of the Shipleys
· Direction: The Shipleys take Kevin back to Oakwood
· Twist: They speak to the two nurses who call Oldfather Oakwood
TURNING POINT 2: Oldfather tells the Shipleys that Genevieve is actually Grace Greene, a blind patient at Oakwood Asylum
· Reveal 21: Kevin is now completely blind – Covered up, he’s been working hard to keep it a secret
· Direction: The Shipleys take Kevin back to camp
· Trust: Kevin opens up to the Shipleys
· Distrust: Kevin asks about Jim’s parents and the trip to India, they don’t remember anyone named Jim
· Villain’s Plan 3: Kevin stumbles around camp searching for his friends, they are all missing – “the war” has begun
· Direction: Tolly finds Kevin and leads him to the truck
· Distrust: Hands Kevin his kitbag
· Distrust: Kevin knows his kitbag was lost
· Reveal 22: Kevin is on the wrong truck, there are no scouts, just gear – Covered up, perspective & timing
· Mystery 10: On the ride home Kevin replays everything he had seen
· Trust: Tolly was right, Kevin could have imagined it all
· Direction: Kevin realizes he could have been mistaken about everything
· Reveal 23: The fairies chasing him were rabbits, the fairy he killed – a rabbit, Genevieve’s “dead” sister was a large doll, Oldfather’s transformation, Hux’s body, the missing scouts… everything including Genevieve – Covered up, all this was imagined
· Mystery 11: Now home, Kevin’s life is sitting around the house
· Reveal 24: Kevin sits with his blind, catatonic father – Covered up, assumed his father was just blind
· Direction: Kevin feeds his father
· Twist: Wipes his face and puts his father’s mask on
· Direction: Kevin asks his father “Who am I? Am I adopted?”
· Reveal 25: Kevin’s mother sits next to them answers, “He doesn’t know.” Covered up, perspective & timing
· Mystery 12: Kevin asks his mother about his true origin, the three nurses and their fairy stories
· Direction: His mother says “Kevin you were not adopted”
· Reveal 26: She says “You were given to me.” Covered up, assumed that Kevin was her child
· Mystery 13: A postman drops a letter through the mail slot
· Direction: Kevin’s mother says the letter is from Tolly, Kevin is elated
· Twist: She “reads” it saying it was from someone named Tolly. “He hopes you are well. He says he always wanted to believe in fairies, but they are not real.”
· Direction: His mother sets the letter down
· Reveal 27: The letter is from Oakwood Asylum – Kevin has been accepted as a patient – Covered up as Kevin is blind
· Life Threatening 6: Kevin’s mother takes him to Oakwood Asylum
· Direction: Oldfather Oakwood greets Mae and Kevin then calls for an escort to show Kevin around the grounds
· Reveal 28: His escort, Grace Green takes his hand – Covered up, Kevin is blind
· Trust: Kevin asks her name
· Reveal 29: She answers – “Genevieve.” Covered up, assumed she is actually Grace Greene
CLIMAX: Kevin in the great hall sits back in the dental chair
· Direction: Oldfather watches as the nurses “assemble” Kevin with new eyes
· Twist: Genevieve looks on
RESOLUTION: Oldfather and the three nurses, as in the first scene, wrap Kevin’s eyes
· Direction: Oakwood Asylum, a grand hall.
· Reveal 30: Kevin and Genevieve sit in matching thrones, smiling, looking into each other’s eyes
· Distrust/Intrigue: Will Kevin and Genevieve lead the fairies against mankind?
-
KEN CALLAWAY’S TRUST RELATIONSHIPS
This assignment made me realize that some smaller twists were also trust/distrust issues.
LIST OF MAIN CHARACTERS
· Hero: Kevin Frye
· Villain: Genevieve Oakwood
· Red Herring Character: Hugh “Hux” Huxley
· Trusted but shouldn’t be: Genevieve Oakwood
· Isn’t trusted, but should be: JRR “Tolly” Tolkien
CHARACTER’S BASIC STATE
· Hero: Kevin Frye – Trustworthy
· Villain: Genevieve Oakwood – Untrustworthy
· Red Herring Character: Hugh “Hux” Huxley – Trustworthy
· Trusted but shouldn’t be: Mae Frye, mother – Untrustworthy
· Isn’t trusted, but should be: JRR “Tolly” Tolkien – Trustworthy
HOW TRUST and DISTRUST UNFOLDS
· Hero / Villain: The deeper Kevin Falls for Genevieve the less he can trust her
· Hero / Red Herring: Kevin discovers Hux is actually fighting against the fairies
· Hero / Trusted but shouldn’t be: As the story progresses the Kevin learns that his blood pits him against humankind
· Hero / Isn’t trusted, but should be: When Kevin learns his true nature he has no choice but to join the fairies
OPENING: Three frightening nurses hand a young woman an infant with bloody, bandaged eyes during London’s blitz bombings.
· Life threatening 1: Will the boy live?
· Mystery 1: Who is the child? Who is the woman? Who are the nurses?
· Trust: The woman seems caring
· Distrust: The nurses seem otherworldly
· Direction: Woman leaves with child
· Twist: building falls on nurses.
· Mystery 2: The boy, now twelve years wears an eye-patch. He and three others sail an old boat through a crashing storm.
· Trust: Kevin seems sympathetic
· Direction: Boys are fighting intense storm at sea.
· Trust: They appear to be brave
· Twist: Boat is not at sea, it’s in a muddy Birmingham scrap yard. The four are just playing in the rain.
· Mystery 3: Kevin plays a different game; he’s a fairy hunter, they are pirates.
· Direction: The others object, the game gets dangerous – Kevin almost loses his only eye then falls overboard.
· Distrust: They don’t like Kevin’s game
· Twist: Kevin pops up out of the mud, smiling. His friends are elated.
· Trust: Even though they were playing rough Kevin stays positive, fun
· Direction: A priest, Father John (Tolkien) convinces Kevin’s mother, Mae to send him to the scout jamboree at Oakwood Green.
· Distrust: Why is it so important to his mother for Kevin to go?
· Twist: Kevin thanks his mother, but does not want to go. Kevin is crestfallen as he and his friends board the transport truck.
· Direction: Kevin’s friends half-heartedly convince him it will be fun – “maybe you can hunt fairies there.”
· Twist: Kevin takes the dig then excitedly calls a warning to the fairies from the transport truck. His friends laugh.
INCITING INCIDENT: The priest’s father, JRR “Tolly” Tolkien arrives to hear Kevin’s cry to the fairies then spouts parallel fairy lore. Kevin’s interest is now more than piqued. Tolly had agreed to tell scary fireside stories for the week-long outing.
· Direction: On the ride to the jamboree Kevin and his friends begin having fun.
· Twist: Older scouts from a different pack ‘Hux,’ ‘Pisser’ and ‘Ace’ bully Kevin, covertly throwing his kitbag into a river.
· Distrust: Hux has it out for Kevin
· Direction: Scouts arrive in the village of Droitwich, Kevin can’t find his kitbag – he’s devastated, his father’s knife is gone.
· Distrust: Kevin realizes Hux is to blame
· Mystery 4: Kevin is distracted by intriguing mystery girl. She taunts him then slips into a sweets shop.
· Direction: Kevin’s and his friends enter the shop.
· Trust: Kevin’s friends play along with him
· Twist: The girl has vanished and the strange shopkeeper claims she didn’t see the girl.
· Distrust: The shopkeeper appears to be lying
· Direction: Kevin presses the shopkeeper, she gets spooked, abruptly asks them to leave.
· Twist: Kevin exits last. The shopkeeper gives Kevin a dire warning about the girl.
· Distrust: Kevin feels threatened
· Direction: The scouts begin setting up camp, Kevin sneaks back to the village to find the girl – to no avail.
· Twist: On the way back to Oakwood Kevin is followed by small, frightening fairies. Begins running, gets turned around.
· Direction: Kevin, now lost sees a girl riding a horse in the distance.
· Distrust: The girl ignores Kevin
· Twist: He follows the rider to Oakwood Manor as the fairies chase him.
· Direction: Kevin is panicked, out of breath is closing in on the rider.
· Twist: Native American priest, Father Fox stops Kevin. Sends him back to camp.
· Distrust: Changes Kevin’s trajectory
· Direction: Kevin missed the first day’s craft activity; making a longbow.
· Twist: The scouts must use their bows in the first night’s scout challenge.
· Direction: Hux taunts Kevin knowing he did not make a bow. Tolly has Kevin use Jacko’s bow.
· Distrust: Tolly knows Kevin will not win the game
· Twist: With great difficulty Kevin draws the arrow back, drops it then dry fires – the bow breaks.
· Direction: Tolly has Kevin borrow Hux’s larger, much stronger bow.
· Distrust: Tolly knows the stronger bow creates a greater challenge
· Twist: After several attempts Kevin can’t budge the string. He lies on his back, uses his feet and wins the challenge.
· Trust: Tolly’s faith in Kevin builds
· Direction: Kevin and Hux are assigned to dig a latrine. Hux walks off leaves Kevin to do the work.
· Distrust: Hux abandons Kevin
· Twist: While digging Kevin finds what appears to be his father’s knife under a rune stone, then is startled by a tiny fairy.
TURNING POINT 1: Kevin accidentally kills the fairy.
· Direction: Kevin yells, Hux returns to find Kevin crying, holding something.
· Trust: Hux appears concerned
· Twist: Kevin shows Hux the fairy but Hux insists it’s a rabbit.
· Distrust: Hux is lying, threatening Kevin
· Mystery 5: Why can’t Hux see the fairy?
· Direction: Hux attempts to take the “rabbit” back to camp.
· Twist: Kevin fends off Hux, buries the fairy.
· Direction: Back at camp Hux taunts Kevin as he tries to tell his friends about the dead fairy.
· Twist: Tolly interrupts Kevin.
· Distrust: Tolly doesn’t believe Kevin’s story
· Villain’s Plan 1: Tolly’s first fireside tale describes an evil fairy named Genevieve that lures scouts to their demise.
Kevin is convinced his mystery girl is Tolly’s fairy.· Trust: Kevin believes Tolly’s story
· Mystery 6: Kevin sees scouts leaving camp, heading toward Oakwood Manor.
· Direction: Kevin follows behind the scouts, sees girl riding horse across pasture.
· Distrust: She’s not Kevin’s mystery girl
· Twist: Kevin stops the rider, asks if she is Genevieve – she points to a girl standing in the bramble nearby.
· Direction: The mystery girl runs toward them, the horse spooks.
· Distrust: Why would she purposefully jump between Kevin and the horse?
· Life Threatening 2: The horse goes crazy, strikes at Kevin repeatedly.
· Direction: The horse kicks the girl.
· Twist: Kevin fights the horse off, pulls girl to safety.
· Trust: Mystery girl saved by Kevin
· Direction: The horse and rider run off.
· Twist: Kevin helps the girl up, her left eye is bloodied. The girl introduces herself as Genevieve Oakwood.
· Direction: Kevin helps Genevieve to Oakwood Manor and is met by two odd nurses.
· Distrust: Kevin is unnerved by the nurses
· Twist: Genevieve tells the nurses her sister tried to kill Kevin then is quickly whisked away.
· Distrust: Kevin is unsure the rider tried to hurt/kill him
MIDPOINT
· Direction: Left alone, Kevin peers into a room sees a horribly disfigured man in a dental chair being tended by nurse.
· Distrust: The shocking sight panics Kevin
· Life Threatening 3: Oldfather Oakwood is rejuvenated as the nurse “assembles” (transforms) him. Kevin runs away to a great hall, sees the family elders leading scouts into a hidden cavern below the manor.
· Distrust: Everything at Oakwood seems evil
· Direction: Kevin runs from Oakwood, back to the camp.
· Twist: Scoutmasters, Martin and Beatrice Shipley don’t listen to Kevin send him to peel potatoes with Jacko and Danny.
· Distrust: The Shipleys don’t believe Kevin
· Direction: Kevin asks where Jim is. Jim may be missing, Hux interrupts them.
· Twist: Kevin snaps at him and Hux cuts Kevin’s hand.
· Direction: The camp war games begin, Kevin’s group is paired with Hux’s group.
· Twist: The group wins the camp-wide war games championship, get invited to Oakwood Manor for a dinner.
· Trust: Hux appears to warm up to Kevin
· Direction: The scouts begin the next craft, neckerchief woggles. Kevin carves a nice wood woggle with his rune knife.
· Twist: Father Fox likes it asks if Kevin will trade him for his carved bone woggle. They trade.
· Trust: Father Fox appreciated Kevin’s talents
· Direction: Tolly delivers another scary fireside story, a small group of rangers fighting a band of fairies.
· Distrust; Kevin feels that Tolly knows more than he is letting on
· Twist: Kevin enlists his friends to find Jim.
· Direction: Kevin, Jacko and Danny look around the expansive camp for Jim.
· Twist: Hux stalks them through the darkness.
· Distrust: Kevin thinks Hux is involved in the disappearances
· Direction: Kevin theorizes Jim may have been taken to Oakwood Manor.
· Twist: Kevin asks his friends to help him search Oakwood to find Jim, Hux overhears them.
· Life Threatening 4: At the Oakwood Manor dinner Kevin follows Hux, gets separated from his friends. Kevin discovers Genevieve’s sister is dead, stabbed.
· Distrust: Kevin believes Genevieve may have killed her
· Direction: Kevin runs into Hux
· Trust: Kevin reluctantly relays his fears
· Twist: Hux tells Kevin he is a ranger hunting fairies
· Trust: Hux gives Kevin back his knife back to protect himself, apologizes
· Villain’s Plan 2: Kevin overhears fairy elders discussing the looming war with humankind.
· Mystery 7: Kevin tells Tolly about Jim, Genevieve and the fairy’s plan. Tolly discovers Kevin is almost blind, can’t truly trust what Kevin has “seen.”
· Direction: Tolly tells Kevin that Jim’s parents picked him up for an emergency trip to India.
· Distrust: Kevin doesn’t believe him and runs away.
· Direction: Halfway across the pasture Kevin stops, turns back meets Genevieve, he tells her everything.
· Twist: They find Hux, he’s been stabbed.
· Life Threatening 5: Genevieve admits to killing her sister and Hux to protect Kevin, the blood fairy king.
· Direction: Genevieve tells Kevin they have always been on the same path
· Twist: Genevieve tells Kevin he was adopted.
· Distrust: Genevieve’s “path” story matches the shopkeepers
· Direction: Kevin runs away, heads back to camp. Enlists the help of the Shipleys, who take Kevin back to Oakwood.
· Twist: They speak to the nurses who call Oldfather Oakwood.
TURNING POINT 2: Oldfather tells the Shipleys and Kevin that Genevieve is actually Grace Greene, a patient at Oakwood Insane Asylum. Oldfather notices Kevin is now completely blind.
· Direction: The Shipleys take Kevin back to camp.
· Trust: Kevin opens up to the Shipleys
· Distrust: Kevin asks about Jim’s parents and the trip to India, they don’t remember anyone named Jim.
· Villain’s Plan 3: Kevin stumbles around camp searching for his friends, they are all missing – “the war has begun.”
· Direction: Tolly finds Kevin and leads him to the truck. Hands Kevin a kitbag.
· Distrust: Kevin is on the wrong truck, there are no scouts, just gear.
· Mystery 8: On the ride home Kevin replays everything he had seen.
· Trust: Tolly was right, Kevin could have imagined it all
· Direction: Kevin realizes he could have been mistaken about everything.
· Twist: The fairies chasing him were rabbits, the fairy he killed – a rabbit, Genevieve’s “dead” sister was a large doll, Oldfather’s transformation, Hux’s body, the missing scouts… everything including Genevieve.
· Mystery 9: Now home, Kevin’s life is sitting around the house caring for his blind, catatonic father.
· Direction: Kevin feeds his father.
· Twist: Wipes his face and puts his father’s mask on.
· Direction: Kevin asks his father “Who am I? Am I adopted?”
· Distrust: Kevin’s mother answers, “He doesn’t know.”
· Mystery 10: Kevin asks his mother about his true origin, the three nurses and their fairy stories.
· Direction: His mother says “Kevin you were not adopted.”
· Trust: She says “I didn’t adopt you, you were given to me.”
· Mystery 11: A postman drops a letter through the mail slot.
· Direction: Kevin’s mother says the letter is from Tolly, Kevin is elated.
· Twist: She “reads” it saying it was from someone named Tolly. “He hopes you are well. He says he always wanted to believe in fairies, but they are not real.”
· Direction: His mother sets the letter down.
· Distrust: We see that the letter is from Oakwood Asylum accepting Kevin as a patient.
· Life Threatening 6: Kevin’s mother takes him to Oakwood Asylum.
· Direction: Oldfather Oakwood greets Mae and Kevin then calls for an escort to show Kevin around the grounds.
· Twist: His escort, Grace Green takes his hand.
· Trust: Kevin asks her name and she answers – “Genevieve.”
CLIMAX: Oldfather and the three nurses in the great hall, Kevin sits in a dental chair.
· Direction: Oldfather and the nurses begin the “assembling” for Kevin, they hold up his new eyes
· Twist: Genevieve looks on.
RESOLUTIN: Oldfather and the three nurses in the great hall, Kevin sits in a dental chair.
· Direction: Oakwood Asylum, a grand hall.
· Twist: Kevin and Genevieve sit in matching thrones, smiling, looking into each other’s eyes.
· Distrust: Kevin and Genevieve will lead the fairies against mankind
-
KEN CALLAWAY’S TWISTS AND TURNS (Three Act)
What I learned with this lesson was that I actually had many, many more twists and turns than I thought… quite a satisfying place to find myself. As a note, my Location Rashwood has been changed to Oakwood.
OPENING: Three frightening nurses hand a young woman an infant with bloody, bandaged eyes during London’s blitz bombings.
· Life threatening 1: Will the boy live?
· Mystery 1: Who is the child? Who is the woman?
· Direction: Woman leaves with child
· Twist: building falls on nurses.
· Mystery 2: The boy, now twelve years wears an eye-patch. He and three others sail an old boat through a crashing storm.
· Direction: Boys are fighting intense storm at sea.
· Twist: Boat is not at sea, it’s in a muddy Birmingham scrap yard. The four are just playing in the rain.
· Mystery 3: Kevin plays a different game; he’s a fairy hunter, they are pirates.
· Direction: The others object, the game gets dangerous – Kevin almost loses his only eye then falls overboard.
· Twist: Kevin pops up out of the mud, smiling. His friends are elated.
· Direction: A priest, Father John (Tolkien) convinces Kevin’s mother, Mae to send him to a scout jamboree at Oakwood Green.
· Twist: Kevin thanks his mother, but does not want to go. Kevin is crestfallen as he and his friends board the transport truck.
· Direction: Kevin’s friends half-heartedly convince him it will be fun – “maybe you can hunt fairies there.”
· Twist: Kevin takes the dig then excitedly calls a warning to the fairies from the transport truck. His friends laugh.
INCITING INCIDENT: The priest’s father, JRR “Tolly” Tolkien arrives to hear Kevin’s cry to the fairies then spouts parallel fairy lore. Kevin’s interest is now more than piqued. Tolly had agreed to tell scary fireside stories for the week-long outing.
· Direction: On the ride to the jamboree Kevin and his friends begin having fun.
· Twist: Older scouts from a different pack ‘Hux,’ ‘Pisser’ and ‘Ace’ bully Kevin, covertly throwing his kitbag into a river.
· Direction: Scouts arrive in the village of Droitwich, Kevin can’t find his kitbag – he’s devastated, his father’s knife is gone.
· Mystery 4: Kevin is distracted by intriguing mystery girl. She taunts him then slips into a sweets shop.
· Direction: Kevin’s and his friends enter the shop.
· Twist: The girl has vanished and the strange shopkeeper claims she didn’t see the girl.
· Direction: Kevin presses the shopkeeper, she gets spooked, abruptly asks them to leave.
· Twist: Kevin exits last. The shopkeeper gives Kevin a dire warning about the girl.
· Direction: The scouts begin setting up camp, Kevin sneaks back to the village to find the girl – to no avail.
· Twist: On the way back to Oakwood Kevin is followed by small, frightening fairies. Begins running, gets turned around.
· Direction: Kevin, now lost sees a girl riding a horse in the distance.
· Twist: He follows the rider to Oakwood Manor as fairies chase him.
· Direction: Kevin is panicked, out of breath is closing in on the rider.
· Twist: Native American priest, Father Fox stops Kevin. Sends him back to camp.
· Direction: Kevin missed the first day’s craft activity; making a longbow.
· Twist: The scouts must use their bows in the first night’s scout challenge.
· Direction: Hux taunts Kevin knowing he did not make a bow. Tolly has Kevin use Jacko’s bow.
· Twist: With great difficulty Kevin draws the arrow back, drops it then dry fires – the bow breaks.
· Direction: Tolly has Kevin borrow Hux’s larger, much stronger bow.
· Twist: After several attempts Kevin can’t budge the string. He lies on his back, uses his feet and wins the challenge.
· Direction: Kevin and Hux are assigned to dig a latrine. Hux walks off leaves Kevin to do the work.
· Twist: While digging Kevin finds a knife under a rune stone, then is startled by a tiny fairy.
TURNING POINT 1: Kevin accidentally kills the fairy.
· Direction: Kevin yells, Hux returns to find Kevin crying, holding something.
· Twist: Kevin shows Hux the fairy but Hux insists it’s a rabbit.
· Mystery 5: Why can’t Hux see the fairy?
· Direction: Hux attempts to take the “rabbit” back to camp.
· Twist: Kevin fends off Hux, buries the fairy.
· Direction: Back at camp Hux taunts Kevin as he tries to tell his friends about the dead fairy.
· Twist: Tolly interrupts Kevin.
· Villain’s Plan 1: Tolly’s first fireside tale describes an evil fairy named Genevieve that lures scouts to their demise.
Kevin is convinced his mystery girl is Tolly’s fairy.· Mystery 6: Kevin sees scouts leaving camp, heading toward Oakwood Manor.
· Direction: Kevin follows behind the scouts, sees girl riding horse across pasture.
· Twist: Kevin stops the rider, asks if she is Genevieve – she points to a girl standing in the bramble nearby.
· Direction: The mystery girl runs toward them, the horse spooks.
· Life Threatening 2: The horse goes crazy, strikes at Kevin repeatedly.
· Direction: The horse kicks the girl.
· Twist: Kevin fights the horse off, pulls girl to safety.
· Direction: The horse and rider run off.
· Twist: Kevin helps the girl up, her left eye is bloodied. The girl introduces herself as Genevieve Oakwood.
· Direction: Kevin helps Genevieve to Oakwood Manor and is met by two odd nurses.
· Twist: Genevieve tells the nurses her sister tried to kill Kevin then is quickly whisked away.
· Direction: Left alone, Kevin peers into a room sees a horribly disfigured man in a dental chair being tended by nurse.
· Life Threatening 3: Oldfather Oakwood is rejuvenated as the nurse “assembles” (transforms) him. Kevin runs away to a great hall, sees the family elders leading scouts into a hidden cavern below the manor.
· Direction: Kevin runs from Oakwood, back to the camp.
· Twist: Scoutmasters, Martin and Beatrice Shipley don’t listen to Kevin send him to peel potatoes with Jacko and Danny.
· Direction: Kevin asks where Jim is. Jim may be missing, Hux interrupts them.
· Twist: Kevin snaps at him and Hux cuts Kevin’s hand.
· Direction: The camp war games begin, Kevin’s group is paired with Hux’s group.
· Twist: The group wins the camp-wide war games championship, get invited to Oakwood Manor for a dinner.
· Direction: The scouts begin the next craft, neckerchief woggles. Kevin carves a nice wood woggle with his rune knife.
· Twist: Father Fox likes it asks if Kevin will trade him for his carved bone woggle. They trade.
· Direction: Tolly delivers another scary fireside story, a small group of rangers fighting a band of fairies.
· Twist: Kevin enlists his friends to find Jim.
· Direction: Kevin, Jacko and Danny look around the expansive camp for Jim.
· Twist: Hux stalks them through the darkness.
· Direction: Kevin theorizes Jim may have been taken to Oakwood Manor.
· Twist: Kevin tells his friends he will search Oakwood to find Jim, Hux overhears him.
· Life Threatening 4: At the Oakwood Manor dinner Kevin and gets separated from his friends. Kevin discovers Genevieve’s sister has been killed, stabbed.
· Direction: Kevin runs into Hux, relays his fears.
· Twist: Hux tells Kevin he is a ranger hunting fairies, gives Kevin back his knife to protect himself.
· Villain’s Plan 2: Kevin overhears fairy elders discussing the looming war with humankind.
· Mystery 7: Kevin tells Tolly about Jim, Genevieve and the fairy’s plan. Tolly discovers Kevin is almost blind, can’t truly trust what Kevin has “seen.”
· Direction: Tolly tells Kevin that Jim’s parents picked him up for an emergency trip to India.
· Twist: Kevin doesn’t believe him and runs away.
· Direction: Halfway across the pasture Kevin stops, turns back meets Genevieve, he tells her everything.
· Twist: They find Hux, he’s been stabbed.
· Life Threatening 5: Genevieve admits to killing her sister and Hux to protect Kevin, the blood fairy king.
· Direction: Genevieve tells Kevin they have always been on the same pat,
· Twist: Genevieve tells Kevin he was adopted.
· Direction: Kevin runs away, heads back to camp. Enlists the help of the Shipleys, who take Kevin back to Oakwood.
· Twist: They speak to the nurses who call Oldfather Oakwood.
TURNING POINT 2: Oldfather tells the Shipleys and Kevin that Genevieve is actually Grace Greene, a patient at Oakwood Insane Asylum. Oldfather notices Kevin is now completely blind.
· Direction: The Shipleys take Kevin back to camp.
· Twist: Kevin asks about Jim’s parents and the trip to India, they don’t remember anyone named Jim.
· Villain’s Plan 3: Kevin stumbles around camp searching for his friends, they are all missing – “the war has begun.”
· Direction: Tolly finds Kevin and leads him to the truck. Hands Kevin a kitbag.
· Twist: Kevin is on the wrong truck, there are no scouts, just gear.
· Mystery 8: On the ride home Kevin replays everything he had seen.
· Direction: Kevin realizes he could have been mistaken about everything.
· Twist: The fairies chasing him were rabbits, the fairy he killed – a rabbit, Genevieve’s “dead” sister was a large doll, Oldfather’s transformation, Hux’s body, the missing scouts… everything including Genevieve.
· Mystery 9: Now home, Kevin’s life is sitting around the house caring for his blind, catatonic father.
· Direction: Kevin feeds his father.
· Twist: Wipes his face and puts his father’s mask on.
· Direction: Kevin asks his father “Who am I? Am I adopted?”
· Twist: Kevin’s mother answers, “He doesn’t know.”
· Mystery 10: Kevin asks his mother about his true origin, the three nurses and their fairy stories.
· Direction: His mother says “Kevin you were not adopted.”
· Twist: She says “I didn’t adopt you, you were given to me.”
· Mystery 11: A postman drops a letter through the mail slot.
· Direction: Kevin’s mother says the letter is from Tolly, Kevin is elated.
· Twist: She “reads” it saying it was from someone named Tolly. “He hopes you are well. He says he always wanted to believe in fairies, but they are not real.”
· Direction: His mother sets the letter down.
· Twist: We see that the letter is from Oakwood Asylum accepting Kevin as a patient.
· Life Threatening 6: Kevin’s mother takes him to Oakwood Asylum.
· Direction: Oldfather Oakwood greets Mae and Kevin then calls for an escort to show Kevin around the grounds.
· Twist: His escort, Grace Green takes his hand. Kevin asks her name and she answers – “Genevieve.”
CLIMAX: Oldfather and the three nurses in the great hall, Kevin sits in a dental chair.
· Direction: Oldfather and the nurses begin the “assembling” for Kevin, they hold up his new eyes
· Twist: Genevieve looks on.
RESOLUTIN: Oldfather and the three nurses in the great hall, Kevin sits in a dental chair.
· Direction: Oakwood Asylum, a grand hall.
· Twist: Kevin and Genevieve sit in matching thrones, smiling, looking into each other’s eyes.
-
KEN CALLAWAY’S THRILLER PLOT
What I learned with this lesson is it has allowed me to come full circle, showing me many things I can do to better stitch the story together. It exposed a thread that when pulled will (hopefully) move every other part of my story.
OPENING: Three frightening nurses hand a young woman an infant with bloody, bandaged eyes during London’s blitz bombings.
- Life threatening 1: Will the boy live?
- Mystery 1: Who is the woman? Who is the child?
- Mystery 2: The boy,
now twelve wears an eye-patch. He plays with three friends on an old boat
during a pounding storm. - Mystery 3: He plays a
different game; he’s a fairy hunter, they are pirates. In the rough game Kevin almost loses his only eye.
INCITING INCIDENT: Kevin is sent to scout camp at Rashwood Green, where he meets the jamboree’s old storyteller, JRR “Tolly” Tolkien.
- Mystery 4: Kevin sees a
village mystery girl, she taunts him then vanishes. No one else saw her and the older scouts bully him. - Villain’s Plan 1: Tolly’s first fireside
tale about an evil fairy named Genevieve who will take over our world.
Kevin is convinced his mystery girl is Tolly’s fairy.
TURNING POINT 1: Kevin accidentally kills a small fairy.
- Mystery 5: Kevin believes
he killed a small fairy. - Mystery 6: Kevin notices
scouts are disappearing from the jamboree. - Life Threatening 2: Kevin saves
Genevieve Rashwood and her sister from rampaging stallion. - Life Threatening 3: Kevin sees Oldfather
Rashwood and his nurses “assemble” (transform) him. Kevin sees the fairy
elders in the great hall, sending missing scouts into hidden caverns below
the manor. - Life Threatening 4: Kevin sneaks
into Rashwood Manor, finds Genevieve’s sister has been killed. - Villain’s Plan 2: Kevin overhears
fairy elders discussing the looming war with humankind. - Mystery 7: Kevin tells
Tolly about Genevieve and the fairy’s plan. Tolly discovers Kevin is
almost blind, can’t truly trust what Kevin has “seen.” - Life Threatening 5: Genevieve
admits to killing her sister to protect Kevin, says Kevin must help her.
TURNING POINT 2: Genevieve tells Kevin she is actually insane, her name is actually Grace Greene, a patient at Rashwood Asylum.
- Villain’s Plan 3: Kevin runs
back to camp as the scouts are packing up. He boards the truck nearly blind
now, calls for his friends but they are all missing – the war has begun. - Mystery 8: On the ride
home Kevin replays everything he had seen, or thought he had seen. He
realizes he could have been mistaken about the fairy he killed, Genevieve’s sister, the fairy elders, the missing scouts… everything including Genevieve. - Mystery 9: Now home and
blind, Kevin’s life is sitting around the house caring for his blind, vegetative
father. - Mystery 10: Kevin asks his
mother about his true origin, the three nurses and their fairy stories.
His mother admits he was adopted from the nurses and nothing more. - Mystery 11: The postman
delivers a letter. His mother says it’s from Tolly, Kevin is elated. She “reads”
it stating Tolly always wanted to believe in fairies, but they are not
real. We see that the letter is from Rashwood Asylum accepting Kevin as a patient. - Life Threatening 6: Kevin’s mother
takes him to Rashwood Asylum where he can “learn a trade.” Oldfather
Rashwood greets them and calls for an escort to show Kevin around the
grounds. His escort, Grace Green takes his hand. Kevin asks her name and she
answers – “Genevieve.” - Mystery 12: Are Kevin and
Genevieve insane?
CLIMAX: Oldfather Rashwood and the three nurses in the great hall begin the “assembling” for Kevin, they hold up his new eyes.
- Mystery 13: Will Kevin see
once more?
RESOLUTION: Kevin is and always was the blood fairy king. He is seated next to Genevieve in a grand hall…they sit in matching thrones, smiling, looking into each other’s eyes.
- Mystery
14: Will Kevin and Genevieve lead the fairies into the war with humankind?
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Ken Callaway’s Life Threatening Sequence Tolly’s Rangers
I learned that building this sequence has really put my story into perspective for me and that will ultimately allow me to come out with a stronger story with real, ever heightening thrills.
- Opens on an injured child, blinded in the London Blitz.
The bleeding boy is handed to a young woman by three witch-like women, dressed
as nurses. - Kevin, now a teen with an eye-patch is playing on an
old boat with his three friends. They are playing “pirates” he is playing “fairy
hunter.” Kevin attacks, gets hit in the face almost losing his good eye. - To his dismay Kevin’s doting mother sends him to a week-long
scout camp with their parish priest. Kevin’s imaginative stories set him
at odds with the other scouts. - Along for the outing is the priest’s father, JRR “Tolly”
Tolkien who has volunteered to tell fireside stories each night.
Kevin strikes a chord with Tolly and is ridiculed by a group
of older scouts. - Kevin taunts their leader, Hugh “Hux” Huxley.
Hux throws Kevin’s camp gear into a river, he loses
everything. - In the village for food Kevin follows a beautiful mystery
girl. - First night Kevin hears JRR Tolkien’s fairy girl story, believes the
girl he saw is a fairy.
Tolly calls Kevin and his three friends “Rangers.” - Second day, crafts & war games begin. Kevin accidently
kills a small fairy then is beaten up by older scouts. - Kevin saves mystery
girl, Genevieve Rashwood and her sister from a crazed stallion.
Kevin notices scouts are disappearing from Camp.
Third day at camp Kevin confronts Hux, gets beaten up again. - Kevin hears
strange noises coming from Rashwood Manor. More scouts disappear from
camp. - Day four Kevin and his friends win the war games. The
four scouts are invited to Rashwood for dinner. Kevin seeks out Genevieve she
appears to be scared of her sister. Tells Kevin she’s a fairy. - Kevin sneaks back into Rashwood to confront Genevieve and
sees Oldfather Rashwood “assemble” and the fairy elders putting the missing scouts into great caverns
below the manor. (loud noises) Kevin hides in closet finds Genevieve’s sister, she’s dead. - Day five Kevin learns that Genevieve may have killed
her sister to protect him.
Kevin tells Tolly about Genevieve and the fairy plan,
Tolly finds that Kevin is almost blind and is convinced Kevin is imagining
things (betrayal) - Day six Kevin finds out that Genevieve did kill her
sister to save him. Kevin confronts Hux, accuses him of being a morph. Hux knows about the fairy’s plan. - Day seven – Genevieve tells Kevin she is insane, her
name is Grace Greene and that she is an inmate at Rashwood Asylum. Kevin runs
away, finds Hux dead. - Camp ends, Kevin is blind as he boards the truck, calls
for his friends, they are gone. - Now home, Kevin asks his mother about his birth. She
admits that he was adopted (betrayal) and does not know his true origin except
for the three nurses and their stories.
Kevin’s mother reads him a letter from Tolly saying
fairies are real to him too. - Kevin’s mother can’t take care of him so he goes back
to Rashwood Asylum to learn a trade and finds Grace. Grace discovers Kevin
he is blind. - The ending where we learn that Kevin is the blood
fairy king, he is now teamed with Genevieve. Kevin he gets new eyes (assembled) by Oldfather Rashwood.
- Opens on an injured child, blinded in the London Blitz.
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KEN CALLAWAY’S MYSTERY SEQUENCE
This assignment could have been the toughest yet. I feel it taught me how reverse engineering from the big secret and sequence can drive the mystery, but it also opened up the many other mystery possibilities I need to explore.
BIG SECRET – Fairies are plotting to take over the world.
WAYS TO COVER SECRET
· Hide or distort any evidence that fairies do exist
· Convince (Hero) Kevin that Tolly’s stories are just stories
· Make the Rashwood family appear as rich eccentrics
· Claim the warrior’s training is just scouting activities
· Have Kevin begin to question his own sanity
· Make Kevin fall for Genevieve
FIRST MYSTERY
Who is Genevieve Rashwood and why is she so interested in Kevin?
MYSTERY SEQUENCE
· Why does “Hux” Huxley hate Kevin?
· How did Genevieve just disappear?
· Was Tolly’s “fairy girl” story true or just a story?
· Did Kevin actually kill a fairy?
· How did Kevin control Genevieve’s stallion?
· Why are many of the scouts so driven to succeed?
· What are the booming sounds in Rashwood Manor each night?
· How did Genevieve’s sister actually die?
· Why are so many scouts leaving the jamboree early?
· Who are the important visitors at Rashwood Manor?
· Did Kevin imagine seeing Oldfather Rashwood ‘reassemble’ himself?
· Will Kevin join Genevieve and start the war against humankind?
RED HERRINGS.
Hux Huxley hates Kevin – Is he a fairy?
o Steals Kevin’s knife early on
o Knows too much about fairies
o Sets-up Kevin to fail at all challenges
o Gets in between Kevin and Genevieve
o Hux turns in Kevin for breaking into Rashwood Manor
o Hux is not a fairy just wanted the knife, gives knife back
What does Tolly actually know about fairies?
o Does he believe?
o Does he know of the fairy’s plan?
MYSTERY CHAIN 1 – Who is Genevieve?
· Kevin has always hated fairies, his mother always humored his overactive imagination
· Kevin & friends get asked to a scout jamboree by their parish priest
· The priest’s father, Tolly comes along to tell fireside stories
· The scouts are trucked to a small, odd village in the west midlands, to Rashwood Estate
· In the village Kevin sees & follows a mystery girl
· The girl disappears, villagers deny seeing her
· Tolly tells first fireside story about a fairy girl named Genevieve, Kevin is convinced the mystery girl is the fairy Genevieve
· Kevin accidently kills small fairy, fairy changes into a hare
· Kevin meets Genevieve Rashwood, believes she’s a fairy
· Kevin saves her from a rampaging stallion
· Kevin learns her sister was killed by a horse
MYSTERY CHAIN 2 – What is Rashwood Manor?
· Kevin sees scouts (morphs) being lead to Rashwood Manor each night
· Kevin breaks into Rashwood, sees morph’s indoctrination
· Kevin tells Tolly what he has seen, Tolly humors him
· Kevin wins war games, gets invited to Rashwood for big dinner
· At Rashwood, he tells Genevieve he knows what is going on
· Genevieve introduces Kevin to the elders
MYSTERY CHAIN 3 – Are Fairies real?
· Kevin breaks into Rashwood, learns of the fairy elders plan
· Kevin sees Oldfather Rashwood “reassemble” himself
· Kevin tells Tolly of the fairy’s plan, Tolly realizes Kevin is almost blind and everything Kevin has seen could be explained away
· Tolly informs Kevin that Rashwood Manor is an insane asylum
· Kevin confronts Genevieve, she denies everything and runs away
· The jamboree ends, as the trucks load many scouts are missing
· Genevieve waves goodbye to Kevin, realizes he is almost blind
· She admits she is “touched” asks him to stay at Rashwood with her
MYSTERY CHAIN 3 – Who is Kevin?
· Kevin’s mother lets him stay at Rashwood Asylum, he’s now completely blind
· Kevin asks her about his birth, she tells him he was adopted
· Kevin confronts Genevieve, she says she is a blood fairy, she killed her sister as her sister was going to kill Kevin
· Did Kevin imagine everything? Did his failing eyes lie to him? Could Kevin actually be the blood fairy king?
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KEN CALLAWAY’S VILLAIN HAS A GREAT PLAN
WHAT I LEARNED – LESSON FIVE
My story “Tolly’s Rangers” is loosely based on a longtime friend’s actual experiences in post-war England, when JRR “Tolly” Tolkien told scary fireside stories each night during a week-long scouting event.
I had copious of notes of the actual events and many well tuned (so I thought) plot points on how to craft my fictionalized version of this incredible time in a young boy’s life. What I didn’t know was how to deliver the evolution of my villain’s plan with incredible impact – with MIS for my story, my hero and mostly my villain. I feel through lesson five I have been gifted an amazing array of new tools and will be able to craft a fun, thrilling screenplay in a much shorter timeframe than I could have possibly imagined.
VILLAIN’S GOAL
To transform the earth into the singular realm of the fairies.
INTRIGUE
Since the start of Second World War the Ancient Fairies had been morphing young human children, building an army of fairy warriors. The morphed now gather for the first time as the new war draws near.
COVERT EVENTS & SECRETS
In the first days of the Second World War, “Operation Pied Piper” evacuated over 650,000 unaccompanied English children from the cities to the countryside to escape the German bombing raids. At the war’s end they came back home. They were older and they had all had been changed by the experience… but some were changed more than others.
VILLAIN’S PLAN (SEQUENCE)
1. Assemble the older scouts (morphed fairy warriors) at the annual Wolf Scout Jamboree.
2. Teach the morphed how to think like a pack.
3. Put the scouts through seven days of grueling work while teaching them how to fight like an army.
4. Discern which of the morphed could become the new fairy king.
5. Challenge the new king’s knowledge, spirit and powers to confirm he is worthy.
6. Introduce the new king to the young fairy queen.
7. Rid the gathering of any “Rangers”- scouts who could and would stand in the way of the plan.
8. Send the pack out into the world to finally begin the War of the Fairies.
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Ken Callaway’s BI Stacking Suspense
From the landmark opening sequence through to the credits this film’s pacing and magic clobbered me. I had not watched the film in ten or so years and I felt like I had never really “seen” the film.
This assignment allowed me to voyeuristically see the characters, to get to know them. I actually watched it twice and (of course) saw many hidden gems. I was stunned how well engineered each scene was.
Every single character had a specific dramatic need that was unfolded (via MIS) before my eyes and they either satisfied their need or died trying. The stakes are so varied and high throughout, I felt as though we had lost Nick several times both spiritually and mortally.
The overall MIS of the film never plateaus and this allowed the MIS of the characters keeps us on our heels. Though the suspense didn’t stack with every scene (it didn’t have to) the mystery and intrigue certainly did to the very last moment.
Ken Callaway’s SOTL Stacking Suspense
While beginning to prepare this assignment I wished that I had somehow rated each scene’s MIS, but now realize that would be wholly unsatisfying. How would one rate one of the greatest thrillers ever written?
Watching the early Starling character work as a wide-eyed recruit, alone in a very structured world easily put me in her shoes – great action!
The story unfolds in an almost Sherlock Holmesian manner and by scene 4 when we meet Lector we already know he is the most feared and diabolical villain ever. His MIS is all top-notch quality and timing, he pays out layers of intrigue like clockwork.
Mystery – Lector is nearly likeable, scary (don’t let Hannibal get inside your head) and easily, instantly in control.
Intrigue – Though locked up, Lector is presented as the key to finding Buffalo Bill.
Suspense – Though he is behind “bullet-proof glass” Starling (and the viewer) is made to feel staggeringly vulnerable.
Stake – Could Lector escape? What would Lector do to Starling?
The introduction of Buffalo Bill in scene 8 reminds the viewer that great evil exists all around us and Bill’s MIS allows (forces?) us to think he is just as evil and twisted as Lector. This new world now puts Starling in ever deepening peril.
As the film progresses and Starling’s character begins to arc, Lector’s character solidifies and Bill’s goes off the rails. Intrigue goes through the roof as Starling finds the moth’s cocoon and we see just how formidable an agent she is. Intrigue builds as Chilton covertly makes the deal with Lector.
Mystery – Chilton “loses” his pen.
Intrigue – Chilton’s huge ego drives the scenes MIS in an undeniably dark and fast direction
Suspense – Foreshadowing… again driving the intrigue and suspense to higher heights. Something REALLY bad is about to happen.
When Starling breaks the rules to see Lector and he asks “What is its nature?” he really delivers the final mystery, a small question that we learn is the foundation for the final conflict.
The rest of the film flows so fast with the suspense building literally by the second and yet smoothly as Lector escapes, the botched FBI raid, and the great misdirection of Starling finding Bill’s house and Catherine Martin.
Starling’s character (shakily) soars and Bill’s crumbles… ending with a last mystery as Lector walks free!
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Ken Callaway’s World and Characters!
What I learned while doing this assignment is the importance of fully realizing each of the main characters, to give them more depth, realistic emotions and the motivation to do what they must do.
Concept – Spellbound by JRR “Tolly” Tolkien’s nightly fireside tales, a Brummie lad at a scout jamboree in 1953 England seeks a mysterious girl that he believes is a fairy sent to destroy our world.
Big Mystery: Who is Genevieve and is she an actual fairy?
Big Intrigue: Could anyone at the jamboree or in the village of Droitwich be a fairy? What do the fairies want?
Big Suspense: If Kevin is sane, is he the conduit between the world of men and that of fairies and if so, can he stop them before they kill him?
WORLD: Adolescent fantasies collide with the stark realities of post-war England.
HERO: Kevin Frye
Mystery – What is his lifelong connection to the fairy world?
Intrigue – Is he falling in love with Genevieve?
Suspense – Will he discover the truth and if so which truth will it be?
RED HERRING: Hugh ‘Hux’ Huxley
Mystery – What could he have against Kevin, a kid he’s just met?
Intrigue – What does he know about Droitwich, fairies and Genevieve?
Suspense – Will he discover Kevin’s frailties and his secrets?
VILLAIN: Genevieve Rashwood
Mystery – Could she be an actual fairy?
Intrigue – Why is she toying with Kevin?
Suspense – How far would she go to set her malevolent scheme in motion? Would she kill Kevin?
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Ken Callaway’s Big M.I.S.
“What I learned doing this assignment is… This assignment is helping me to learn, understand and develop the tools needed to transform a drama into a multi-layered thriller! (Exciting stuff…)
Logline – Spellbound by JRR “Tolly” Tolkien’s nightly fireside tales, a Brummie lad at a scout jamboree in 1953 England seeks a mysterious girl that he believes is a fairy sent to destroy our world.
Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: A visually impaired teen dreamer living in a fantasy world of Viking tales and adventurous boyhood games.
Dangerous Villain: A mysterious girl whose wealthy family sponsors the annual Wolf Scout jamboree on their west-midlands estate.
High stakes: Hero’s life and the possible exposure of a nation of fairy warriors plotting to take over our world.
Life and death situations: Hero accidentally kills a small fairy then is pursued by monsters as young campers disappear, leading to a confrontation between Hero and the fairy leader.
This story is thrilling because? We grow to doubt Hero’s sanity as he prepares for a war he cannot possibly win.
Big Mystery: Who is Genevieve and is she an actual Fairy?
Big Intrigue: Could anyone at the jamboree or in the village of Droitwich be a fairy? What do the fairies want?
Big Suspense: If Kevin is sane, is he the conduit between the world of men and of fairies and if so, can he stop them before they kill him?
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What I learned – This exercise shows that the simple thriller conventions can create a crazy, fun, engaging psychological journey with relatively few locations, small cast all in a lower budget film.
My film choice – Disturbia, 2007
The Thriller Conventions
Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: Kale, an emotionally damaged teen is placed under electronic house arrest for the summer. Reminiscent of Hitchcock’s Rear Window, Kale becomes fixated on watching his neighbors; one a girl his age and the other could be a murderer.
Dangerous Villain: Neighbor Mr. Turner, a meticulous loner.
High stakes: After several “out of bounds” events and clashes with Mr. Turner, the cop assigned to Kale’s case clamps down on him.
Life and death situations: Kale believes he has seen clues that link Mr. Turner with several missing women. Now Kale and his two friends must prove his crafty neighbor’s guilt before his mom gets any closer to the man.
This movie is thrilling because? Kale can’t leave his house so he puts his buddy and his new love interest in peril to gather evidence on Mr. Turner.
Big Mystery: Is Mr. Turner a serial killer?
Big Intrigue: With Kale’s mounting trouble, can he discover the truth about Mr. Turner in time?
Big Suspense: Will Kale be able to protect his mom and girlfriend from the murderer?
Our hero is an average kid who made a few mistakes and gets pulled into a situation out of his control and way, way over his head. There but for the grace of God…
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1. Hi team, my name is Ken Callaway. My wife and I live on a small ranch east of San Diego near the Mexican border.
2. I’ve written five feature scripts and two shorts, to date.
3. What I’d like to gain from this class is the ability to confidently craft a thriller that will grip the reader, producer, actors and audience.
4. Weird fact – My dad was a cowboy and I didn’t meet him until I was 21. After years in the military and many positions in various manufacturing industries I became a cowboy too (ranch director actually).
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I, Ken Callaway, agree to the terms and conditions of this release form.