Kevin Ash
Forum Replies Created
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Scandal 5 star model
What I learned doing this assignment is that as long as you tie the knots, every part of the story doesn’t need to dazzle, but it’s better if it does.
Big Picture Hooks
Ask this: What is the big hook of this show? Will the lead character take down the president? Other hooks: What will she do for the intern? How does the love triangle between the new fiance and his co-worker play out? Will the protagonist thrive or fail?Amazing and Intriguing Character
Ask this: What makes these main characters intriguing and interesting? Pope seems like a cold blooded killer, but she’s hiding her humanity. President is a snake who manipulates, will he get his? Fiance is trying to get normalcy, but can he? Co-worker try-hard is in love but can’t show it.Empathy / Distress
Ask this: What situations causes us to feel both empathy and distress for these characters? Pope is in love with the President, but he’s a snake. Intern is telling the truth but is destroyed anyway, then taken on by Pope. Protagonist hired to do cool job, then thrown under the bus, then finds truth but opinion isn’t validated, sees good that came of job 2 and faith is restored. Co-worker is in love with guy who proposes to girlfriend, foreshadowing that she’s being constantly tortured.Layers / Open Loops
Ask this: What questions are created by this first episode that can only be answered by watching the entire season? Will the President get his? Will the protag. succeed?Inviting Obsession
Ask this: How does this pilot create the need to see every single episode?Layered characters, empathy created for several of them put in bad situations. You root for the underdogs who may be able to see justice eventually. Two satisfactory storylines played out to conclusion, meaning more to follow. -
Hey all, Kevin Ash here. I’ve written a dozen or so screenplays, more stage plays, had several optioned, a few writing assignments, and currently in the middle of producing 2 projects. I’ve taken many SU courses including Pro Series, Incredible Movies, Bingeworthy the first time, been on development teams, and am a Hal champion! I’m a huge Miami Dolphins fan, so loving the sports team life right now. I also teach film and theatre in a private school and I’m doing a deep dive into AI and using it in teaching my classes, so looking forward to getting more familiar with how to get it to behave! 🙂
I am on my 4th career. Started as an actor in NYC, member of SAG/AFTRA, AEA, and DGA. Then became a director and designer in theatre, then an Artistic Director of 2 professional theaters and a film producer, and now teaching. Screenwriting and producing are next and doing so from Hawaii within the next 5 years…
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This is Kevin Ash, I agree to the terms of this release form:
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
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<div>Kevin’s Marketable Components</div><div>
Fractured Reality:
Logline: Barbara has recurring nightmares she is a super-spy stuck in a coma. In her dreams, a failed mission has left her in a coma with critical information about a terrorist cell who failed to kill her are hot on her trail. She can hear and feel everything as her doctor takes her on the run to save her. But her nightmares seem to be creeping into reality, she is seeing people from her dream, and bruises start appearing without cause. She begins to question which life is real. As things come to a head, in order stay alive, she must choose in which life to die.
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What I learned doing this assignment is that although I liked my logline, it is far too long and complex. While the story is also complex, I need to find a way to boil it down.
The components that are most marketable are
A. Unique.
A dual life story about a spy in a coma hasn’t been done.B. Great Title.
I think maybe it could be better, but It seems to test well.
J. A great role for a bankable actor. The lead character gets to play a traumatized psych patient in a love story and a super spy on the run, in a coma.
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Kevin’s project and market
1. Give us your Genre – thriller, Title Fractured Reality, and Concept A secret agent with a SD card of secrets falls into a coma. As both sides are trying to find and kill her, she doesn’t know whether reality lies with her lucid dream or in the coma, where she can feel and hear everything around her as a doctor tries to save her life and takes her on the run.
2. In one or two sentences, tell us what you think is most attractive about your story. The unique situation the spy is in, living two lives where she is in danger, and not knowing which one is real.
3. Tell us which you will target FIRST — producers because I want to get it produced. Maybe actors if the right actress is a fit.
4. What I learned today is I’m ready to sell this script and move on in my career.
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I’ve finished the first draft, and well on my way to finishing the second, and have fallen back a day or two and always managed to catch back up! I plan to be there on Day 30 at the finish line!!!
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LESSON TWENTY—SIX
Kevin’s Solved Character Problems!
What I learned doing this lesson is that even though I thought the characters were pretty well defined, there were still significant things I needed to fix!
D. Characters Not in Action. Even though I have a lot of action in the film, there were still scenes where Gordon and Batman with Robin and sometimes Ali were stagnant and adding some action in those more toned down moments made it richer. Not action like fighting, but just things people do besides talk while they have conversations.
F. All the characters seem the same. Although they all have character traits and things about them which make them unique, the dialogue, particularly of minor characters all had the same or a very similar voice. They needed some separation in speech pattern and tone. I think that really improved the script.
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Kevin’s Solved Structural Problems
At I learned doing this assignment was that my structure actually got stronger in writing the scenes as the added elements made the conflict greater and the stakes higher.
Act 1:
Opening/Old Ways: Batman and Joker are definitely living in old ways (fat tired, depressed
Inciting Incident: Joker gets fired and triggered by the mini-Batman’s dad.
Turning Point: Joker blows up a daycare and lays the blame at Batman’s feet.
Act 2:
New Plan: Batman decides to take on Joker by getting in shape and getting back in the game.
Plan in action: He turns over a new leaf and tries to get healthy and fit.
Midpoint Turning Point: Batman gets to the facility but barely misses the deadline. Joker blows up other daycares instead, tricking him and making things worse.
Act 3:
React/Rethink: Batman concedes his limitations and agrees to let Robin help. Robin seems invincible.
New Plan: Sends Robin to thwart one threat as Batman goes after Joker.
Turning Point: Robin successfully stops one bomb threat, but Joker blows up multiple police precincts including headquarters and the Opera where a huge Gala with Ali and his friends present, when Batman refuses to kill Joker.
Act 4:
Dilemma: Joker threatens to destroy Gotham if Batman doesn’t do his bidding. Batman must choose now whether to kill Joker or sacrifice the city now that Robin has been defeated.
Climax/Ultimate @xpression Of The Conflict: Joker and Batman face off on top of the cell tower. Either Batman kills him, or he destroys the world.
Resolution: Batman saves Joker but Joker unleashes the weapon that will cause Armageddon. Bruce Wayne show up and stops the dart from puncturing the balloon that will unleash certain death for all, as Joker plunges to his, on his own.
New Ways: Bruce has given the mantle of Batman over to Ali and Robin. He is now Bruce Wayne full time and will serve as Alfred to Ali’s Batman.
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LESSON TWENTY FOUR
Kevin’s Filled In Missing Scenes!
What I learned from this assignment is there are a lot of scenes that can make the story richer, and fill in the depth of the story.
I added Ali going to the Opera to set up the climax, Bruce and Ali talking about the benefit to establish the ultra rich will all be in one place at one time, Bruce re-appearing to the world after a decade long absence to set up that Wayne isn’t dead as speculated, Speculation at the Opera that Wayne is dead to give him a reason to show up in public again, The new commissioner deciding to call in Gordon to convince Batman to work together with the police, Joker’s men cornering Robin and trying to electrocute him and failing to set up the harpoon in the chest, and there are probably more once I have these filled in. The story is becoming more complex and interesting.
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Kevin’s Act 4 Resolution
What I learned doing this assignment is that my resolution is very short but serves the purpose. I don’t know if I want to have a bows scene or not, but that would be one way to add to it.
<div>A moment freezes in time as another figure
swings around the spire, grabs the dart and lands on the platform next to
Batman.
</div><div>BRUCE Not quite what he asked for, but he got what he
wanted.Batman reaches for the mask and takes it off,
revealing Ali’s face.ALI Thank God you showed up.
Bruce catches her hand, and he puts the mask
back on her.BRUCE Never in public, eyes are everywhere. The mask
is your real power.A beam pierces the clouds. It’s the bat signal.
BRUCE The Commissioner is calling you.
THE END
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Kevin’s Act 4 Climax
What I learned doing this assignment is the climax is fun! I still have holes to fill and now that I’m this far I can see setups that need to be placed in the earlier scenes to make the payoffs work. Good stuff!
INT. JOKER’S HOTHOUSE – NIGHT
Joker is pacing back and forth in a hothouse full of dangerous toxic plants and test tubes of various poisons line the walls. Several screens dot the room, each with a different social media platform scrolling…
JOKER
Come on, Batman, I know you’re out there!
The screens all pop up versions of the same story. Batman’s face fills every screen.
BATMAN
I have a special greeting planned for the Joker. The Joke’s on him! Tonight at midnight, towering above Gotham, where all the city speaks out, I’ll be waiting and we will play out the end game of all end games!
JOKER
HAHAHAHAHA!!!! It worked! I’ve got you now, Batman. After tonight, you’ll never sleep again!
EXT. CELL TOWER – DAY
Joker stands on a platform below the cell repeaters on the tower. Detonator in hand. He holds a phone in his hand, outstretched.
JOKER
Ho ho, Gotham! Destiny awaits. Can Batman save the day, or will Gotham light up the night sky like a thousand suns and cease to be? Party like there’s no tomorrow! There may not be. Hahahahaha.
A batarang knocks the detonator out of Joker’s hand and a foot swipes down and kicks the cell phone into the clouds. The other foot thuds solidly against Joker’s chin, sending him down a level onto a lower platform.
A metal hand reaches out around the tower and catches the detonator. Joker stagers up, dazed and confused.
JOKER
Ho ho ho, ha ha ha… didn’t see that one coming! Neat trick. No matter. What’s one detonator between frenemies, eh?
Batman appears out of the darkness. Lean and strong.
JOKER
Oh ho. What’s this? Lost a few pounds in the last few hours? New regimen? Do tell!
BATMAN
You’re the one who’s going to do the telling, Joker. To the world. Fess up. You’ve been lying this whole time. There’s no nuclear bomb.
JOKER
Hahahaha. How can you be so sure? There’s something funny going on here. You don’t sound quite the same, and you sure don’t look like the last time we met. What gives? Have you given over the mantle to that tin can?
Robin flips up from below to stand in front of Joker.
ROBIN
Not I, said the AI.
Joker dashes to a nearby lever and pulls it. A net flies up and engulfs Robin, snaring and entangling him in a wire mesh.
JOKER
I’ll be doing the fast talking around here, boy un-wonderful!
He flips a switch and a spear tied to a powerline hurls forth piercing Robin’s chest.
JOKER
What a shocking development! I made a few modifications since our last encounter, flash.
Robin lays inert.
JOKER
Now, is it just you and me, Batty? Or have you brought some other friends to the party as well? You seem to be a cheater at last! Ready to break your one rule for me? Hee hee hee!
Joker reaches behind his back and yanks downward. A jetpack sends him above Batman and he pulls a bazooka from behind his back and fires a direct hit where Batman stood.
JOKER
Take that … bat!
Joker grabs a repeater on the side of the spire, and peers down at the blast area. Only the platform is there amidst the dark circle of destruction.
BATMAN
Too slow!
Batman turns the Jetpack around sending Joker smashing into the platform and ripping the jetpack apart on impact.
BATMAN
Oops. Guess the tables have turned once again.
Joker pulls himself up, beaten and bloody, and looks up at Batman.
JOKER
Oh, just one little thing.
He holds the detonator up again, his thumb a millimeter from the button.
JOKER
Your metal buddy down there lost his grip when a thousand volts decided to course through the interior of his exterior. So now you have ONE choice. End me, or face the end.
BATMAN
There isn’t a uranium signature anywhere near the city.
JOKER
Oh, you got me. My bad, I lied.
Batman flies down to the platform to face Joker.
JOKER
Ah, ah, ah! Not so fast, First I should tell you what it does do!
BATMAN
I’m all ears.
JOKER
Pointy ones too!
Batman takes a step forward, Joker one step back, now against the wire railing.
JOKER
Okay, okay, okay. I’ve been bored, bored, board over the past decade or so, so I’ve been breeding plants, exotic and oh so poisonous!
BATMAN
What have you done?
JOKER
Well, these new beauties leach their toxic fluids when the come in contact with water you see… Once in the atmosphere, it will float amongst the clouds, and fall as a deadly rain over Gotham, get sucked back into the atmosphere and float over the globe with glee, killing ocean, river, stream, and all who consume water… meaning everything!
BATMAN
No…
JOKER
Yes! Isn’t it wonderful? Annihilation of the planet. Here in my palm, oh yes, and over your head!
Batman looks up and sees among the clouds a large transparent balloon full of plants, dangling from the top of the spire.
BATMAN
That’s not a detonator, is it?
JOKER
Ding, ding, ding! It’s a dart launcher. One little prick and pop! It’s raining apocalypse!
BATMAN
Is there an antidote?
JOKER
Like I’d tell you if there was! But wait, there’s more! You, you, you can stop, stop, stop it. And you know how. Easy Peasy. Just look to your left.
Attached to a support is taped a golden revolver, like the one in Joker’s lair. Batman Takes it and slowly wraps his hand around the grip.
JOKER
That’s it Batman. It’s a special bullet in there, meant just for you and I. Use it, and for the rest of your life, you’ll be able to see the image of the life draining out of me. Go ahead. I’m ready!
Batman starts to squeeze the trigger and Joker puts his hands out like Jesus on the cross and closes his eyes. The shot rings out.
JOKER
Noooo!
Batman has pointed the gun in the air. As the bullet sails into the sky parting the clouds, an explosion destroys the pillar behind the gun which would have been pointing at Batman’s face.
Batman grabs a batarang from his utility belt and tosses it, catching Joker’s ankle as he goes backwards over the wires. He swings under the ledge, Batman rushing to the edge to look over. Joker swings back out.
JOKER
Damn you and the entire world with you!
Joker shoots the dart as he swings wide. Batman lets go of the batarang cable and dives for the dart. He misses and the dart zips through the air toward the balloon as Joker plummets through the clouds.
JOKER
Aaaahahahaha
BATMAN
Nooooooooo.
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LESSON TWENTY- ONE
Kevin’s Act 4 First Scenes
What I learned from this assignment is that the buildup to the climax needs more set up.
INT. WAYNE CORPORATE HEADQUARTERS – DAY
Batman sits atop Wayne Corporate headquarters and looks around him as smouldering buildings and chaos hits the streets. He stares blankly at a cell phone feed.
JOKER
As once again the Batman fails you and doesn’t stop the carnage. This time your precious police force is reduced to rubble! The Lords of Gotham have ceased to be and left it all to you! Go get it, Armageddon is upon us! Chaos reigns! Chaos Reigns! Chaos Reins!
The figure on the screen glitches over and over repeating the last phrase. Batman just stares. The doors atop the roof open and Robin bursts forth with Ali.
ROBIN
There you are. Predictable, but not easy to find. What happened?
Batman stares off in the distance. Ali walks up.
ALI
Robin, pause.
Robin stops where he is and shuts down.
ALI
Uncle Bruce. I’m sorry. Empathy is hard to teach.
Batman lowers his head and drops the phone.
BATMAN
I couldn’t kill him.
ALI
It’s all right.
BATMAN
Really? Look around you. It’s clearly not all right. He just wanted to die. He wanted me to kill him. The gun was right there. I couldn’t do it, now this.
Batman looks at Ali. Then removes his mask. Realization crosses his face.
BRUCE
You’re alive.
ALI
Yes we all are.
BRUCE
How?
ALI
Robin sent a message. To everyone who was to attend the Opera, everyone working the event.
She brings up a text and shows Bruce.
ALI
Bomb threat. Stay away. Leave at once. We’re all safe. No one was there.
BRUCE
How did he know?
ALI
He said something about paper. A game you played. Robin?
Robin walks up to them.
ROBIN
Defeating the bombs was too easy. Given the previous plans, it was a fair deduction the target wasn’t the stated target and that many influential people in one place seemed too tempting a target.
BRUCE
What about the precincts?
ROBIN
Unfortunately that wasn’t as simple a fix. Fortunately though, most of the officers were either on their way to Joker’s lair or on patrol, so loss of life was significant, but not catastrophic.
BRUCE
But the news
ROBIN
Interesting thing about news nowadays. They tend to report other reports and everyone needs to be first. Sadly the first reports were that everyone at the opera perished in an inferno that disintegrated the bodies. All were lost.
ALI
I wonder where that report came from?
ROBIN
I doubt we’ll ever find out, but the guests and workers are all locked down and out of sight for now, giving you a window to lay a trap for Joker that he can’t resist.
ALI
But you need to get off your ass and back to the lab. The jet is ready to go.
She grabs Bruce’s hand and pulls him up. They follow the curve of the building as the Batjet comes into view.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – DAY
Screens with every social media platform play around the room as Robin and Bruce are at different stations in the lab.
BRUCE
Assuming I am able to lure him to an isolated location, and not the other way around, what then?
ROBIN
I’m working on a gas that’s undetectable and will render him immobile, but you will need to have your rebreather in place before you can use it, or you will both succumb to the toxin.
BRUCE
Excellent.
The lab door opens and Ali emerges with Gordon in tow.
ALI
There’s someone who has been trying to reach you, Mr. Wayne.
BRUCE
Jim!
Bruce runs to him and embraces him.
BRUCE
Barbara?
GORDON
She’s fine. We both are. After you rescued us, we left the building.
BRUCE
The commissioner?
Gordon shakes his head.
GORDON
Most of the top brass are gone. He hit us hard, Bruce. We are down.
ROBIN
But not out!
GORDON
What’s this?
ROBIN
What?
BRUCE
Who. Jim, who. This is Robin. My new sidekick.
Robin cocks his head.
ALI
Partner?
BRUCE
I don’t work with partners, but yes, non-human partner I suppose.
ROBIN
I superior form of intelligence at his disposal will do.
GORDON
I see.
ROBIN
Do you?
GORDON
No, not really. Anyway, what happened up there?
BRUCE
I
ROBIN
The Joker played on Batman’s humanity and tricked him, getting away but losing his advantage. We have his plans, and his hideout.
BRUCE
Thanks.
GORDON
The council has asked me to step in for now, and I’ve agreed. We need to find a way to end this. Now. Things are only going to get worse.
BRUCE
I know.
GORDON
No. Look at this.
He hands Bruce a handwritten note.
ALI
What is it?
GORDON
A declaration of war. On civilization. I don’t’ know if he has the capability.
BRUCE
(Reading) A nuclear device?
ALI
Is that possible?
ROBIN
It is.
ALI
Rhetorical.
ROBIN
Sorry.
GORDON
If he really has this thing, you never know with him, we need to stop him now, before he can re-group.
BRUCE
Yes.
ROBIN
I’ll start-
BRUCE
No. I’ll take care of it.
ALI
But
BRUCE
I have this. But standby. Commissioner?
GORDON
Good to have you back, Batman.
BRUCE
Follow me. Ali, I need you to get me on social media.
ALI
On it, boss.
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LESSON TWENTY
Kevin’s Completed Act 3
What I learned from this assignment is the work it the thing. It’s easy to become distracted and not do the work, but sitting down and writing, ignoring the distractions even if it means finding a way to isolate, is the way forward.
INT. BATMAN’S LAB – NIGHT
Batman sits in a chair opposite Robin, staring him down. Ali is standing to the side at a computer screen scanning locations searching for something.
BRUCE
All right, you hunk of metal. Let’s see how you are at chess.
ROBIN
Go for it.
Bruce makes a move. Robin immediately moves his piece. Bruce contemplates and moves again. Robin immediately moves.
ALI
You can’t beat him.
BRUCE
Shut up, I’m concentrating.
ALI
He’s programmed to learn from everything contained on the internet.
BRUCE
Did you hear….
ROBIN
Checkmate.
BRUCE
Damn you!
ALI
You can’t beat him at games, he can process Thousands of scenarios in a second.
BRUCE
Fine. Rock, Paper, Scissors.
ALI
Interesting.
BRUCE
Only 3 outcomes.
ROBIN
Humans are predictable.
BRUCE
Joker is not!
ROBIN
Unpredictability, is predictable.
BRUCE
What does that even mean?
ROBIN
If one does not behave in a predictable manor, that in itself is predictable to a degree.
BRUCE
Go!
Bruce and Robin play rock, paper, scissors and Robin wins.
BRUCE
Again!
They throw again. Again Robin wins.
BRUCE
Again!!
They throw one more time and Bruce wins.
BRUCE
Aha!
ALI
Congratulations. Now Robin, will you help Bruce train?
ROBIN
Of course Ali.
BRUCE
I don’t need help training, I need time.
ROBIN
I can be of help, Bruce.
BRUCE
Don’t call me Bruce. To you I’m Batman.
ROBIN
Yes, Batman. I’ll make a note of that.
BRUCE
Are you mocking me? Ali, is he mocking me?
ALI
Robin, were you mocking Bruce?
ROBIN
I don’t think so, it was more sarcastic than sardonic, playing on –
BRUCE
Stop!
ROBIN
Stop what?
ALI
Pause for a moment Robin.
Robin freezes and shuts down.
BRUCE
Who’s controlling him anyway, you?
ALI
No one really controls him. He’s autonomous really. He does respond to some commands in my voice, like that one. But really he’s artificial intelligence. He learns from every interaction with the outside world, with humans, and learns to read them. Their tendencies, their behavior. He reads everything posted on the internet as it appears on a server.
BRUCE
Why don’t I know about him? Didn’t I pay for all this?
ALI
Mr. Wayne. You not only know about him, he was your idea. You authorized and greenlit him before your spiral. He’s been more than a decade in development.
BRUCE
I don’t remember that.
ALI
You don’t remember much of the last decade I’ll wager. Do you remember saying, “without Alfred, I’m lost”, and “You take care of things now, will you? They don’t need me anymore”?
Bruce sinks back in his chair.
BRUCE
Vaguely.
ALI
I’m surprised even that remains. When Uncle Alfred died, we all mourned.
BRUCE
You don’t understand.
ALI
What don’t I understand? My parents died too you know. When I was a teenager. Uncle Alfred took me in, you helped raise me, both of you. I lost my anchor too!
BRUCE
I’m sorry.
ALI
Don’t be sorry, do something about it!
BRUCE
What can I do? Look at me. I’m not Batman anymore. I don’t have it in me. I’m not even a shell of who I was.
ALI
Then be who you are! Let Robin do the fighting, you are still the brains, you are still the brand! You are Batman!
BRUCE
I’m only making things worse.
ALI
You’re letting Joker decide who you are? You’re taking the blame for his insanity and evil? Since when did you let any of them dictate who you were?
Bruce sits there dejected.
ALI
I’ve had enough of this. Robin, kick the shit out of Batman until he remembers who he is!
BRUCE
What?
ROBIN
Yes, Ali.
Robin marches up to Bruce and picks him up with one hand, throwing him against a wall. Bruce crumbles in a pile and cries out in pain.
BRUCE
Stop!
ROBIN
I’m sorry, Batman. Ali is my friend.
Robin picks him up again, and tosses him across the room.
BRUCE
Pause!
Robin flies across the room, picks him up again and makes a fist.
ROBIN
Amusing Batman. That won’t work.
BRUCE
Wait!
Robin hits him in the chest with an open hand causing him to slam into another wall.
ROBIN
Should I avoid breaking bones, Ali?
Ali has left the room.
ROBIN
I’ll avoid breaking your bones.
Bruce is trying to crawl across the room to a weapon. As Robin’s back is turned he grabs a batarang from a table.
ROBIN
I can hear you, and that won’t work on me, my exterior shell sheds electricity.
Batman hurls the batarang at Robin, and he puts an arm up. It clanks off and electricity engulfs Robin’s figure, the electric pulse coursing around his shape and off his extended finger back to a generator in the corner of the room.
ROBIN
Did you think I was lying? I wouldn’t lie to you Batman, although I am capable of lying. You are however, my ally, so I don’t foresee that outcome.
Robin approaches steadily as he speaks. Bruce tries to stand, but falls back.
BRUCE
I think I’m injured.
ROBIN
You have sustained several minor injuries it appears. Although nothing major. Kicking the shit out of you only really requires pain, not injury.
BRUCE
How can I get you to stop?
ROBIN
What was asked of me, Bruce?
Robin lifts Bruce into the air again, grabbing him by the front of his shirt.
BRUCE
I’m… I’m… (resigned.) I’m Batman.
Robin spins him around and bearhugs him. Bruce’s spine cracks in multiple places and he falls to the ground in a heap.
ROBIN
That’s all anyone wants from you.
Robin walks back to the chair he was originally sitting in opposite Bruce. Bruce stands up, stretches his back, suddenly mobile again. He walks over to Robin.
BRUCE
What did you do?
ROBIN
Oh, your spine was merely out of alignment. I just straightened you back out.
BRUCE
Thanks.
ROBIN
Why did you choose Paper?
BRUCE
What?
ROBIN
When you beat me at Rock, Paper, Scissors. Why did you choose paper?
BRUCE
I was trying to be unpredictable.
ROBIN
But if you were trying to be unpredictable you would have chosen Scissors. I took that into account.
BRUCE
I eliminated what I wanted to do, what I would do if I was trying to trick you, and ended up at paper.
ROBIN
Very clever. I will have to make a note of that.
BRUCE
Not funny.
ROBIN
I tried.
INT. POLICE HEADQUARTERS – DAY
BANG! The door to the roof jerks open 6 inches. Bang. Creak. The door swings open and slams against the frame behind. Gordon rubs his shoulder as he passes through. Commissioner Parsons and officers follow.
GORDON
I can see you’ve maintained the place well.
COMMISSIONER PARSONS
We haven’t had a need to keep the old thing in working order. Things have been in hand until now.
GORDON
Uh huh.
Gordon strides over to the bat signal. It’s rusty and tilted at an odd angle.
GORDON
Should I bother.
COMMISSIONER PARSONS
I’m sure it won’t fire up. It’s been years.
Gordon grabs the handle on the side and pushes up to straighten it. The spotlight falls off and nearly crushes him. A rusty hinge is all that’s left on the stand. It rolls against the switch and a blinding light jumps forth, hitting them in the face.
GORDON
At least the torch still lights. Turn that thing off!
One of the policemen dash over to the switch and turn it off.
COMMISSIONER PARSONS
Get that thing mounted again. Do you think he’ll answer?
GORDON
He always has.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – DAY
Ali stands outside Bruce’s bedroom door with a tray holding coffee, green sludge juice, and a paper. She sighs and kicks open the door. The room is empty.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – DAY
Bruce is standing in front of a screen drinking a glass of green juice while jogging on the treadmill. Social media outrage at the bombings fill the screen. Robin stands beside him running in place. Ali stands in the doorway with her tray.
ALI
Well, this is a nice change.
BRUCE
I asked Robin to wake me at dawn. If I’m going to show up in public, I need to at least try to look the part.
ALI
Good for you. I’m glad you seem to have settled your differences with Robin.
BRUCE
I wouldn’t say that. He is a great chiropractor though. I feel better than I have in decades.
ALI
Speaking of decades, here’s your morning coffee and your paper.
Bruce slows his pace.
BRUCE
I’m off the poison, and trying to catch up to the 22nd Century.
ROBIN
Pace, Batman, and that would be the 21st.
BRUCE
Thanks tin-man.
Bruce ramps back up to speed.
ALI
Nice one.
ROBIN
He has a rudimentary skill for insults, although his reference bank is sadly out of date.
BRUCE
Can it.
ROBIN
Very droll.
BRUCE
Thanks. Listen Ali, I want to apologize –
ALI
Stop right there. You don’t have enough breath for all that, and I already forgave you each time I gave you a roundhouse to the head after you went on a bender.
BRUCE
No wonder my head hurt so much!
ALI
Yeah, well. It kept me from losing mine!
BRUCE
Right. Another thing I’m woefully behind on is this social media. I’m getting slammed and I have no idea what’s going on. Can you help?
ALI
It’s just noise, but noise we need to turn to our advantage somehow. What is clear is we need a plan of action.
ROBIN
I’ve run 120,321 scenarios –
BRUCE
Hang on, we don’t have time for that. We need to whittle that down to say, the best 12? I’ll try to come up with one while you do that.
Ali smiles and retreats through the door with her tray.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – NIGHT
Bruce and Ali are sitting in the dining room eating dinner.
BRUCE
Thank you for agreeing to join me tonight.
ALI
It’s not like I refused any invitations before. I just never received any.
BRUCE
I know. I’m sorry. I guess after Alfred… I just lost my way.
ALI
I know. We all did. He held us all together more than anyone knew.
BRUCE
I want to make it up to you. All my … whatever that was for the past … anyway, I want to make you my heir.
ALI
Well. That’s very flattering, thank you.
BRUCE
Don’t say no, it’s done. I spoke with the lawyers this afternoon. It took a little convincing to get them to believe it was me, but the paperwork is finished.
ALI
Then, thank you I guess.
BRUCE
You already run the company. You know all my secrets. Between you and Robin, I’m pretty much obsolete anyway.
Ali starts to protest. Bruce holds up a hand.
BRUCE
I know, sorry. Just running off at the mouth. You are indispensable to me and were even before I disappeared into a bottle.
ALI
Thanks.
BRUCE
Robin and I hit upon a plan while you were busy running the company today. I think it will work. He zeroed in on Joker’s lair. We’ll make a pre-emptive strike and get him on the run again. That should give us more time. I’ll fill you in while we eat.
EXT. BOX STORE – DAY
Joker stands in front of a row of televisions for sale, holding a clicker in his hand with glee.
JOKER
Three, two, one.
He pushes a button and all the televisions turn to static, then at once his face appears on all of them. He cackles with excitement.
JOKER (ON SCREEN)
Hello Gotham! Me again, your friendly, neighborhood Joke-man! It’s been such a breath of fresh air, well smoke-filled air, to be back! Sadly The Batman has still to respond to my pleas for a tet-a-tet, so I suppose I must up the ante once again. So Bat-a-tat-tat, here’s your latest challenge: In two hours the Gotham convention center is going to go ‘boom’ unless you can climb to the top and stop the countdown. Only one little problem. All the doors are locked, the streets impassible, and no communications can go in or out. They have no idea they’re about to be incinerated! But you can save them! OR you can save the only other person still alive you care about. Sadly, and hour in the opposite direction. Wait, have we been here before?
The camera swings to show Gordon and his wife Barbara tied to a bomb, bound and gagged on the roof of police headquarters.
JOKER
James and Barbara Gordon! They’re calling for you, Batman! Just look to the skies!
The camera pans again to the joker flipping a switch,, then to a circle of light in the clouds, the bat signal is there with the shadow of Gordon and Barbara tied to it.
EXT. WAYNE MANOR – NIGHT
Robin is in the bat-cave, triangulating something on a screen while Joker’s broadcast plays in the background on another screen. Bruce and Ali burst in.
BRUCE
We have him now! Let’s go, is it ready?
ROBIN
Just through there. Modified and ready to roll!
ALI
What’s going on?
Bruce dashes through the entry Robin pointed to.
ROBIN
I anticipated the scenario which has just played out. Commissioner Gordon contacted Batman earlier today.
ALI
How are you going to save them both-
ROBIN
And catch Joker? I’ve located his new lair.
BATMAN (V.O.)
Coordinates?
ROBIN
In the Batmobile. You’ll have time to get to the commissioner and still catch him before the Convention center blows.
ALI
You’d sacrifice all those-
ROBIN
Of course not. That’s the beauty of having a boy wonder on the team!
ALI
Boy wonder!?
BATMAN
You’re welcome!
A black figure and cape flash past and disappears into the batmobile. The top closes on the figure of Batman.
BATMAN
The Bat is back, baby!
ALI
Spare me.
EXT. CONVENTION CENTER – NIGHT
People stream out of the convention center doors, which have been torn away from the frames. Robin is clambering up the side of the convention center, racing toward the top.
EXT. POLICE HEADQUARTERS – NIGHT
The Bat grappling hook shoots over the side of the rooftop. As it retracts, Batman flies over the side and onto the roof. He races to Gordon and Barbara, unties them and grabs the bomb.
GORDON
Bruce, is that you?
BATMAN
It’s Batman, commissioner. Been a long time. We’ll catch up later. I have a surprise party to get to, in honor of the Joker.
Batman runs to the side of the building and hooks the ledge, he grabs the cable and jumps over the edge.
BATMAN
It’s going to be a bomb!
EXT. CONVENTION CENTER – NIGHT
Robin reaches the top. He looks over the vast roof with vents and pipes reaching as far as the eye can see.
ROBIN
Where are you? Rock, scissors, and paper!
He looks in the middle of the building and jumps to the center. The roofs gives way to a courtyard below. As he falls to the garden level, a wide array of bombs are woven together. In the center of the maze is a clock counting down from 5 minutes.
ROBIN
And chaos says-
He looks around the perimeter and sees a lone tree in the corner.
ROBIN
You.
He walks over to the tree and finds one wire looped around the base. He walks around behind the tree and picks up a handful of dirt. He crushes it between his hand and blows the dust over the field.
ROBIN
Et voila.
The field jumps alive with lasers crisscrossing the field of bombs. He follows the wire to the top of the tree and finds a laser. He crushes it in his hand and the field goes dark except for the counter.
INT. JOKER’S LAIR – DAY
Batman, in a transformed suit, crashes through the window. He holds the bomb that was tied to Barbara and Gordon.
EXT. CONVENTION CENTER – NIGHT
Robin looks down on the last of the conventioneers escaping the center from the rooftop. He holds the timer in his hand as it hits zero and unceremoniously gives a tiny zap.
INT. JOKER’S LAIR – NIGHT
Joker lounges on the sofa, watching a black and white surveillance video of both the convention center and the police headquarters.
JOKER
Ah, finally. The bat returns! Looks like you’ve gained a little weight there!
BATMAN
You’re plans have failed Joker.
JOKER
Impressive actually. I’m curious. Who’s this little fellow you’ve got working for you? I thought you always worked alone!
BATMAN
Times have changed, and I guess I had to adapt.
Joker stands and strolls to a table beside the televisions.
JOKER
Well, you certainly have done that. You might consider a different outfit though. That one’s a bit stretched out, don’t you think?
BATMAN
Your time is up Joker.
JOKER
I couldn’t agree more. As much fun as all this has been, I’m tired. I have a treat for you.
Joker reaches for a detonator on the table and holds it in the air.
BATMAN
Your bombs are all disabled. That won’t do you any good.
JOKER
Oh, those little things? Ah well, you win some you lose some. The one you have there? It’s not even real. (He laughs maniacally.) See?
He reaches behind his back and draws a large handgun, firing it into the bomb. Batman reacts, throwing the Batarang and knocking the gun from Joker’s hand, a second too late, but still shocking Joker and sending hinm flying.
JOKER
Hahahahaha! Now THAT was invigorating! Best pick me up I’ve had in years! WHERE have you been!?
BATMAN
That’s enough. Time to give yourself up Joker, by now the police have this building surrounded.
JOKER
Oh I’m sure they do. Sadly, that’s not the plan, oh bat of my heart. You see, there is no surrender this time. There’s only one way out for me, and one way out for you.
BATMAN
What are you talking about?
JOKER
Oh don’t worry, there’s no trap. Not a physical one, anyway. You see, you and I are outdated, outmoded, antiques. I was never supposed to live this long.
BATMAN
Well, I guess that’s life.
JOKER
That’s the thing though. I’m done with this life, and you’re going to break your one rule and help me out of it.
BATMAN
No. I’m not.
JOKER
Oh, but you are. Because if you don’t. This detonator –
He flips the switch to arm it.
JOKER
Will go off and the city really will devolve into chaos.
BATMAN
What do you mean?
JOKER
There. Next to you. It’s a hand gun. Pick it up.
BATMAN
No.
JOKER
Pick it up, or I drop this stick. When it hits the ground, boom.
BATMAN
Boom? What explodes?
JOKER
Everything. The headquarters you were just at. The rooftop was just window dressing. The basement is loaded!
BATMAN
The commissioner and the others are on their way here. Those left behind know the risks they take.
JOKER
Maybe so, but what about Bruce Wayne and the social elite? What about all the other precincts and the computer banks that tie them together? What I hold in my hand is the fabric of society. I spent months setting up this punch line. Society will crumble and chaos will reign.
BATMAN
That’s not possible.
JOKER
Oh, but it is. The ultra rich sit at the opera for a fund raiser set up by Wayne Enterprises for the unfortunate. They sit on a ton of C4 tonight.
BATMAN
You couldn’t have possibly-
JOKER
Twitter twitter. Can’t keep anything from the socials! Just look at the riche, lining up like cattle for the slaughter!
Joker switches the view to the opera, as the ultra rich walk up the red carpeted steps. Ali graces the screen with Robin on her arm.
BATMAN
What do you gain?
JOKER
An end. Finality. Surely you must be tired. I’m exhausted. But if you can’t end one life, then so many others will have to die.
BATMAN
There’s no way out for you.
JOKER
Well. Your choice. 10, 9, 8,
BATMAN
I’m not going to kill you, but you are going with me.
JOKER
7, 6, 5, not this time.
Batman fires a net which Joker just ducks under.
JOKER
4, 3, 2 too slow Batman!
Joker throws the detonator in the air. Batman dives for it and catches it as Joker dives for the sofa which flips upside down, spinning back up empty.
Batman rushes to the sofa and pushes it halfway. He reveals a slide disappearing to nowhere. Just as he starts to dive after him, an explosion rings out in the distance.
A ball of fire lights up the sky. Another explosion and another ball of fire. Batman is drawn to the broken window in horror as the night sky lights up with billows of fire and smoke revealing the city as far as he can see.
-
LESSON NINETEEN
Kevin’s Act 3 Turning Point
What I learned from this lesson is that I am able to go deeper than I thought in giving my protagonist the lowest low. Taking everything away from him is devastating.
EXT. CONVENTION CENTER – NIGHT
Robin looks down on the last of the conventioneers escaping the center from the rooftop. He holds the timer in his hand as it hits zero and unceremoniously gives a tiny zap.
INT. JOKER’S LAIR – NIGHT
Joker lounges on the sofa, watching a black and white surveillance video of both the convention center and the police headquarters.
JOKER
Ah, finally. The bat returns! Looks like you’ve gained a little weight there!
BATMAN
You’re plans have failed Joker.
JOKER
Impressive actually. I’m curious. Who’s this little fellow you’ve got working for you? I thought you always worked alone!
BATMAN
Times have changed, and I guess I had to adapt.
Joker stands and strolls to a table beside the televisions.
JOKER
Well, you certainly have done that. You might consider a different outfit though. That one’s a bit stretched out, don’t you think?
BATMAN
Your time is up Joker.
JOKER
I couldn’t agree more. As much fun as all this has been, I’m tired. I have a treat for you.
Joker reaches for a detonator on the table and holds it in the air.
BATMAN
Your bombs are all disabled. That won’t do you any good.
JOKER
Oh, those little things? Ah well, you win some you lose some. The one you have there? It’s not even real. (He laughs maniacally.) See?
He reaches behind his back and draws a large handgun, firing it into the bomb. Batman reacts, throwing the Batarang and knocking the gun from Joker’s hand, a second too late, but still shocking Joker and sending hinm flying.
JOKER
Hahahahaha! Now THAT was invigorating! Best pick me up I’ve had in years! WHERE have you been!?
BATMAN
That’s enough. Time to give yourself up Joker, by now the police have this building surrounded.
JOKER
Oh I’m sure they do. Sadly, that’s not the plan, oh bat of my heart. You see, there is no surrender this time. There’s only one way out for me, and one way out for you.
BATMAN
What are you talking about?
JOKER
Oh don’t worry, there’s no trap. Not a physical one, anyway. You see, you and I are outdated, outmoded, antiques. I was never supposed to live this long.
BATMAN
Well, I guess that’s life.
JOKER
That’s the thing though. I’m done with this life, and you’re going to break your one rule and help me out of it.
BATMAN
No. I’m not.
JOKER
Oh, but you are. Because if you don’t. This detonator –
He flips the switch to arm it.
JOKER
Will go off and the city really will devolve into chaos.
BATMAN
What do you mean?
JOKER
There. Next to you. It’s a hand gun. Pick it up.
BATMAN
No.
JOKER
Pick it up, or I drop this stick. When it hits the ground, boom.
BATMAN
Boom? What explodes?
JOKER
Everything. The headquarters you were just at. The rooftop was just window dressing. The basement is loaded!
BATMAN
The commissioner and the others are on their way here. Those left behind know the risks they take.
JOKER
Maybe so, but what about Bruce Wayne and the social elite? What about all the other precincts and the computer banks that tie them together? What I hold in my hand is the fabric of society. I spent months setting up this punch line. Society will crumble and chaos will reign.
BATMAN
That’s not possible.
JOKER
Oh, but it is. The ultra rich sit at the opera for a fund raiser set up by Wayne Enterprises for the unfortunate. They sit on a ton of C4 tonight.
BATMAN
You couldn’t have possibly-
JOKER
Twitter twitter. Can’t keep anything from the socials! Just look at the riche, lining up like cattle for the slaughter!
Joker switches the view to the opera, as the ultra rich walk up the red carpeted steps. Ali graces the screen with Robin on her arm.
BATMAN
What do you gain?
JOKER
An end. Finality. Surely you must be tired. I’m exhausted. But if you can’t end one life, then so many others will have to die.
BATMAN
There’s no way out for you.
JOKER
Well. Your choice. 10, 9, 8,
BATMAN
I’m not going to kill you, but you are going with me.
JOKER
7, 6, 5, not this time.
Batman fires a net which Joker just ducks under.
JOKER
4, 3, 2 too slow Batman!
Joker throws the detonator in the air. Batman dives for it and catches it as Joker dives for the sofa which flips upside down, spinning back up empty.
Batman rushes to the sofa and pushes it halfway. He reveals a slide disappearing to nowhere. Just as he starts to dive after him, an explosion rings out in the distance.
A ball of fire lights up the sky. Another explosion and another ball of fire. Batman is drawn to the broken window in horror as the night sky lights up with billows of fire and smoke revealing the city as far as he can see.
-
LESSON EIGHTEEN
Kevin’s Act 3 Middle Scenes
What I learned from this assignment is that sometimes the answers hit you harder than you try to hit them.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – NIGHT
Bruce and Ali are sitting in the dining room eating dinner.
BRUCE
Thank you for agreeing to join me tonight.
ALI
It’s not like I refused any invitations before. I just never received any.
BRUCE
I know. I’m sorry. I guess after Alfred… I just lost my way.
ALI
I know. We all did. He held us all together more than anyone knew.
BRUCE
I want to make it up to you. All my … whatever that was for the past … anyway, I want to make you my heir.
ALI
Well. That’s very flattering, thank you.
BRUCE
Don’t say no, it’s done. I spoke with the lawyers this afternoon. It took a little convincing to get them to believe it was me, but the paperwork is finished.
ALI
Then, thank you I guess.
BRUCE
You already run the company. You know all my secrets. Between you and Robin, I’m pretty much obsolete anyway.
Ali starts to protest. Bruce holds up a hand.
BRUCE
I know, sorry. Just running off at the mouth. You are indispensable to me and were even before I disappeared into a bottle.
ALI
Thanks.
BRUCE
Robin and I hit upon a plan while you were busy running the company today. I think it will work. He zeroed in on Joker’s lair. We’ll make a pre-emptive strike and get him on the run again. That should give us more time. I’ll fill you in while we eat.
EXT. BOX STORE – DAY
Joker stands in front of a row of televisions for sale, holding a clicker in his hand with glee.
JOKER
Three, two, one.
He pushes a button and all the televisions turn to static, then at once his face appears on all of them. He cackles with excitement.
JOKER (ON SCREEN)
Hello Gotham! Me again, your friendly, neighborhood Joke-man! It’s been such a breath of fresh air, well smoke-filled air, to be back! Sadly The Batman has still to respond to my pleas for a tet-a-tet, so I suppose I must up the ante once again. So Bat-a-tat-tat, here’s your latest challenge: In two hours the Gotham convention center is going to go ‘boom’ unless you can climb to the top and stop the countdown. Only one little problem. All the doors are locked, the streets impassible, and no communications can go in or out. They have no idea they’re about to be incinerated! But you can save them! OR you can save the only other person still alive you care about. Sadly, and hour in the opposite direction. Wait, have we been here before?
The camera swings to show Gordon and his wife Barbara tied to a bomb, bound and gagged on the roof of police headquarters.
JOKER
James and Barbara Gordon! They’re calling for you, Batman! Just look to the skies!
The camera pans again to the joker flipping a switch,, then to a circle of light in the clouds, the bat signal is there with the shadow of Gordon and Barbara tied to it.
EXT. WAYNE MANOR – NIGHT
Robin is in the bat-cave, triangulating something on a screen while Joker’s broadcast plays in the background on another screen. Bruce and Ali burst in.
BRUCE
We have him now! Let’s go, is it ready?
ROBIN
Just through there. Modified and ready to roll!
ALI
What’s going on?
Bruce dashes through the entry Robin pointed to.
ROBIN
I anticipated the scenario which has just played out. Commissioner Gordon contacted Batman earlier today.
ALI
How are you going to save them both-
ROBIN
And catch Joker? I’ve located his new lair.
BATMAN (V.O.)
Coordinates?
ROBIN
In the Batmobile. You’ll have time to get to the commissioner and still catch him before the Convention center blows.
ALI
You’d sacrifice all those-
ROBIN
Of course not. That’s the beauty of having a boy wonder on the team!
ALI
Boy wonder!?
BATMAN
You’re welcome!
A black figure and cape flash past and disappears into the batmobile. The top closes on the figure of Batman.
BATMAN
The Bat is back, baby!
ALI
Spare me.
EXT. CONVENTION CENTER – NIGHT
People stream out of the convention center doors, which have been torn away from the frames. Robin is clambering up the side of the convention center, racing toward the top.
EXT. POLICE HEADQUARTERS – NIGHT
The Bat grappling hook shoots over the side of the rooftop. As it retracts, Batman flies over the side and onto the roof. He races to Gordon and Barbara, unties them and grabs the bomb.
GORDON
Bruce, is that you?
BATMAN
It’s Batman, commissioner. Been a long time. We’ll catch up later. I have a surprise party to get to, in honor of the Joker.
Batman runs to the side of the building and hooks the ledge, he grabs the cable and jumps over the edge.
BATMAN
It’s going to be a bomb!
EXT. CONVENTION CENTER – NIGHT
Robin reaches the top. He looks over the vast roof with vents and pipes reaching as far as the eye can see.
ROBIN
Where are you? Rock, scissors, and paper!
He looks in the middle of the building and jumps to the center. The roofs gives way to a courtyard below. As he falls to the garden level, a wide array of bombs are woven together. In the center of the maze is a clock counting down from 5 minutes.
ROBIN
And chaos says-
He looks around the perimeter and sees a lone tree in the corner.
ROBIN
You.
He walks over to the tree and finds one wire looped around the base. He walks around behind the tree and picks up a handful of dirt. He crushes it between his hand and blows the dust over the field.
ROBIN
Et voila.
The field jumps alive with lasers crisscrossing the field of bombs. He follows the wire to the top of the tree and finds a laser. He crushes it in his hand and the field goes dark except for the counter.
INT. JOKER’S LAIR – DAY
Batman, in a transformed suit, crashes through the window. He holds the bomb that was tied to Barbara and Gordon.
-
LESSON SEVENTEEN
Kevin’s Act 3 Reaction to Midpoint
What I learned doing this assignment is staying in the habit of writing every day is hyper-important. Falling back even one day for whatever reason you choose to do so can result in a cascading series of reasons not to write. Giving yourself the deadline of sitting there and writing even 1 page of crap inspires you to keep going … need to keep to it!
INT. POLICE HEADQUARTERS – DAY
BANG! The door to the roof jerks open 6 inches. Bang. Creak. The door swings open and slams against the frame behind. Gordon rubs his shoulder as he passes through. Commissioner Parsons and officers follow.
GORDON
I can see you’ve maintained the place well.
COMMISSIONER PARSONS
We haven’t had a need to keep the old thing in working order. Things have been in hand until now.
GORDON
Uh huh.
Gordon strides over to the bat signal. It’s rusty and tilted at an odd angle.
GORDON
Should I bother.
COMMISSIONER PARSONS
I’m sure it won’t fire up. It’s been years.
Gordon grabs the handle on the side and pushes up to straighten it. The spotlight falls off and nearly crushes him. A rusty hinge is all that’s left on the stand. It rolls against the switch and a blinding light jumps forth, hitting them in the face.
GORDON
At least the torch still lights. Turn that thing off!
One of the policemen dash over to the switch and turn it off.
COMMISSIONER PARSONS
Get that thing mounted again. Do you think he’ll answer?
GORDON
He always has.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – DAY
Ali stands outside Bruce’s bedroom door with a tray holding coffee, green sludge juice, and a paper. She sighs and kicks open the door. The room is empty.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – DAY
Bruce is standing in front of a screen drinking a glass of green juice while jogging on the treadmill. Social media outrage at the bombings fill the screen. Robin stands beside him running in place. Ali stands in the doorway with her tray.
ALI
Well, this is a nice change.
BRUCE
I asked Robin to wake me at dawn. If I’m going to show up in public, I need to at least try to look the part.
ALI
Good for you. I’m glad you seem to have settled your differences with Robin.
BRUCE
I wouldn’t say that. He is a great chiropractor though. I feel better than I have in decades.
ALI
Speaking of decades, here’s your morning coffee and your paper.
Bruce slows his pace.
BRUCE
I’m off the poison, and trying to catch up to the 22nd Century.
ROBIN
Pace, Batman, and that would be the 21st.
BRUCE
Thanks tin-man.
Bruce ramps back up to speed.
ALI
Nice one.
ROBIN
He has a rudimentary skill for insults, although his reference bank is sadly out of date.
BRUCE
Can it.
ROBIN
Very droll.
BRUCE
Thanks. Listen Ali, I want to apologize –
ALI
Stop right there. You don’t have enough breath for all that, and I already forgave you each time I gave you a roundhouse to the head after you went on a bender.
BRUCE
No wonder my head hurt so much!
ALI
Yeah, well. It kept me from losing mine!
BRUCE
Right. Another thing I’m woefully behind on is this social media. I’m getting slammed and I have no idea what’s going on. Can you help?
ALI
It’s just noise, but noise we need to turn to our advantage somehow. What is clear is we need a plan of action.
ROBIN
I’ve run 120,321 scenarios –
BRUCE
Hang on, we don’t have time for that. We need to whittle that down to say, the best 12? I’ll try to come up with one while you do that.
Ali smiles and retreats through the door with her tray.
-
LESSON SIXTEEN
Kevin Has Completed Act 2 Draft 1
What I learned from this assignment is that writing the script headfirst in its simplest form, I’m only at page 24 at the halfway mark. This is going to make for a very short first draft, so I need to go back and add some complexity to it. I already do have a scene or two that will expand it, but it’s going to speak to the vulnerability of the protagonist, so it will help deepen the journey… but more work to do. I’ve become very proficient at writing lean, maybe too much so.
INT. CABIN IN THE WOODS – DAY
COMMISSIONER GORDON, 76, weathered but contented, sits by a calm lakeside, fishing. An elegant woman, BARBARA, opens the cabin door and calls out.
BARBARA
Jim!
JIM
You’re scaring the fish!
She walks down to the edge of the lake.
BARBARA
You know there aren’t any fish.
JIM
Still.
BARBARA
You need to see the news.
JIM
Really? Why do you bother. It never changes. I’m done with all that.
BARBARA
It changed today.
She hands him his fedora.
JIM
Shit.
INT. JOKER’S LAIR – NIGHT
Joker is pacing the floor of his lair, pistol in hand, shooting at a life size figure of Batman as we know him, situated at one end of a long room.
JOKER
Where are you, masked crusader? (shot) I know you’re out there, somewhere. (shot) Don’t you care about the little kiddies any more? (Shot) Their smouldering carcases DON’T MOVE YOU?!
He empties the pistol into the mannequin and tosses it after the barrage of bullets. He marches over to a case, pulls out a rocket launcher, and fires, blowing the Batman replica to bits.
JOKER
Whew. That’s better.
He pushes down on a button on the table next to him.
HENCHMAN
Ya boss? Everything okay? I heard somethin’ explode.
JOKER
If things weren’t okay, you would know about it. My little bat dolly had an oopsie. Get me another one, will you? And come clean up this mess.
HENCHMAN
Y-
Joker hangs up and walks out the door into his garden with a flourish.
JOKER
Good. Now where are you, you rat with wings?!
INT. WAYNE MANOR – NIGHT
Bruce is on his treadmill, sucking on green goo, and looking at a complex grid on a virtual screen in front of him. Ali is standing at a console with rows of statistics in front of her.
BRUCE
Allison, how does this work again? I know we developed this, but…
Ali walks over in front of him and swipes her hand in front of his face. The screen swipes away and is replaced by another.
ALI
Honestly Uncle Bruce, how did you get so out of the loop? Just swipe in front of your face and poke holes in what you want to key in. A child can do it.
BRUCE
A child who grew up with technology. I grew up with dial phones and green stamps.
ALI
And developed hi tech gear to save the planet over and over with my Uncle Alfred. Cry me a river!
BRUCE
Okay, fine. Just help me out here, I’m detoxing and drinking your green crap aren’t I?
Ali stops what she’s doing and looks at him, sweating and chugging.
ALI
Two things. This ultimatum from the Joker. It’s not about airlines. Nothing here is vulnerable or out of line, and hijacking is too small scale for his threat. There must be something else we’re missing.
BRUCE
That’s one thing, and I agree, but his clues don’t match anything else. Military maybe? What’s the second thing?
ALI
You. No way we’re getting you anything close to camera ready by noon tomorrow. We need a plan to put you out there, but not let you be seen.
BRUCE
Agreed. Military isn’t his style. Chaos is. Let’s call him out before noon then. You do social media, right?
ALI
On it grandpa. You work on a speech that’ll resonate, I’ll get the platforms ready to pop.
INT. POLICE HEADQUARTERS – DAY
Commissioner Gordon enters the HQ and starts to file past the detectives desks, fedora down low and walking fast. Chief Bock strides into his path and puts a hand on his shoulder.
BOCK
Hold it right there old timer. I’d know the grease stains on that hat anywhere. Who said you could be in here?
JIM
Why you old goat. I’m surprised to see you still around. Thought you’d have bowed out years ago.
BOCK
Like you did? Sorry, not a yellow bone in this old body. What foul wind blew you in?
JIM
Like you don’t know…
Bock knocks Jim’s hat off and gives him a huge bear hug. The room breaks out in cheers.
BOCK
Glad you’re back on the block, Jim. God, we need your help.
JIM
Not likely, but when I got the call, I knew I didn’t have a choice.
A DETECTIVE hands Jim his hat and he dons it as the two walk toward the Commissioner’s door, which slams against the frame as it’s shoved open.
COMMISSIONER PARSONS
What’s all this then! I thought I told you assholes to scour the … Jim! Thank God you’re here. Let’s go to the war room.
JIM
Have you heard from him?
COMMISSIONER PARSONS
No, not yet. I’m sure he’ll come through though.
JIM
He always does.
Bock releases his grip and the three of them head down a dark hallway, deeper into the building.
EXT. DEPARTMENT STORE – DAY
Joker slides furtively to and fro in front of a row of televisions in a department sore.
JOKER
Come on Battie, come on…
A news report rolls a banner reading breaking news Batman appears on the screen.
JOKER
Ha ha! There you are… I knew you were out there somewhere!
BATMAN
This is a message for the coward who calls himself The Joker. There’s no need to harm innocent children and day care workers if it’s me you’re after.
JOKER
Ha ha ha! You! You’re the one who will put an end to this miserable existence. I’ve got you now!
BATMAN
Meet me in the colosseum tomorrow at midnight. I’ll be alone.
Joker laughs and laughs. Those around watching in disgust.
JOKER
Oh no you don’t. We play by my rules, oh bat one.
INT. DAYCARE CENTER TWO – DAY
Joker stands in the middle of the daycare center. Around him are children chained to desks, play equipment and each other. A camera sits in front of him as he sits on the floor, building a letter block tower.
JOKER
Tick tock Batman, Tick tock. High noon approaches and these little ones want to get back to their blocks.
He strings a wire through the middle of the blocks and wiring them to a red button with a clown face in the middle of it.
OKER
I saw your little message, and as much as I’d love to come to your little rendezvous, it will be 12 hours too late! We already have a date which expires in 4 hours!
He finishes wiring the button, and moves the camera as he stands and points it to the button and then all around the room at the crying and sobbing children.
JOKER
This button will disable the bombs located in the middle of this here room! Saving all the little kiddies here!
He starts dancing around the room handing out suckers and candy to the children.
JOKER
Hurry Batman, all you have to do is find them and push the little red button! In the light of day. Better hurry!
INT. WAYNE MANOR – DAY
Bruce is drinking a green shake, making faces and choking it down. Ali is at the computer display eliminating sections of Gotham and trying to track the signal.
BRUCE
Damnit!
ALI
Got him!
Joker stared hard into the camera.
JOKER
Oh, and before you think the cavalry can save the day, they can’t see this!
He cackles uncontrollably.
JOKER
That’s right! I know where you are! Not actually of course or I’d blow you to oblivion but your digital imprint allowed me to open a tunnel and downstream directly to you! Thanks to AI, this is a love letter directly from me to you! Tick tock!
The screen blanks out.
BRUCE
Where’s the suit?
He jumps off the treadmill and opens the pneumatic closet that holds his suits. He pulls one out and holds it up. It’s half his size.
ALI
A few too many chips, Bruce?
BRUCE
Shut up. What are we going to do?
ALI
In 4 hours? I have no idea. You could send someone else.
BRUCE
Not possible. You saw him.
ALI
In the suit no one will know the difference.
BRUCE
Even if there was someone, I’m not putting someone else in danger.
ALI
It’s pushing a button.
BRUCE
It’s never just pushing a button.
ALI
Okay then, You can squeeze into the mask, right, I have an idea. We can just make it.
She circles an address, and swipes it off the screen.
INT. BATMOBILE – DAY
The Batmobile races through the streets of Gotham. The daycare looms in the distance growing closer. Batman crammed in the batmobile wearin the familar mask and a giant black cape surrounding him glances at the clock on his dash.
BATMAN
One minute thirty. You timed it just right didn’t you Joker?
He comes to a screeching halt at the front doors and a thick fog pours forth from the front of the batmobile engulfing the day care in white.
Batman emerges from the vehicle a shadow of black with the signature sillouette bursting through the doors surrounded by fog that fills the room instantly.
BATMAN
Made it. Now where is that infernal button?
He lunges forward, but trips on the oversized cape, falling forward just short of the button. The timer around the base counts down 3,2,1 Batman lunges to hit the timer.. 0 buzz. He hits it a second too late.
JOKER
Too late Batman!
The Joker’s laughter is loud and raucous as no explosion happens. The kids and teachers rejoice and laugh. Sirens come screaming up to the scene.
BATMAN
Time to evaporate. (to the room) The authorities are here now to release you.
Batman disappears back into the Batmobile as the fog dissipates. He vanishes back into the streets as the police and fire rescue vehicles pull up.
BATMAN
That doesn’t make sense. I was a second too late. No explosion. What was the laughter about?
His police scanner jumps to life.
SCANNER
All cars, an explosion at 22 Elm. Bowie elementary has gone up in a blaze. All cars. Respond to 454 Forrest, an explosion has torn Townhome elementary apart. All cars, respond to 225 Sycamore. Daisy daycare has exploded in a ball of fire. All cars. Respond to 667 Mimosa drive, Gotham Day care has been destroyed in a massive explosion.
BATMAN
No!!!
Alarms and sirens fill the air from all directions as the Batmobile screams off into the distance.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – NIGHT
Images of destroyed elementary and Day school buildings flood the screens in front of Bruce, sitting in despair, tears running down his face.
A silver figure walks over to him and puts his hand on Bruce’s shoulder.
Bruce instinctively turns to grab the arm and remove it, but it doesn’t budge, but cuts Bruce’s hand as it slides up the gleaming metal.
BRUCE
Who? What?
He tries to stand but is held in place by the android being now standing beside him. Ali is hanging by the doorway.
ALI
His name is Robin.
BRUCE
No. I don’t need a tin can to help. This is all my fault, I will fix it.
ALI
Come on Bruce, he can give you the advantage you’ve lost. And then some.
BRUCE
Thanks but no thanks. I can do it on my own.
ALI
Alright then. Let’s put him to the test. If he passes, he’s part of the team. If he fails, well. He won’t fail.
BRUCE
Fine. My rules.
ALI
To the lab.
INT. JOKER’S LAIR – NIGHT
Joker is pacing the floor of his lair, shooting up the new mannequin of Batman.
JOKER
Stupid, stupid, stupid. What a waste of chaos! What went wrong oh winged one? I timed everythig out to the second, even built in a few to spare…
He picks up a shotgun and blasts Batman over and over as he walks up, black plastic flying with each blast until he’s point blank and demolishes what’s left.
JOKER
ANOTHER!
He storms back to the table to reload as the henchman quickly places a new Batman in place of the old one, running out of the way just before Joker blasts the new one with the the rocket launcher.
JOKER
Another!
The henchman limps out the door not quite having escaped the debris.
JOKER
Still… I suppose now I have your full attention. Let’s see you get out of this one…
Joker goes to the intercom and hits the button.
JOKER
Oh my jolly elves, listen up! We’re going ballistic this time, only we’re going to use social media to do our bidding. Hit the streams my chuckles, open the floodgates of influence. We’re going to bury the bat in shame, and then hit him where it really hurts!
Joker laughs maniacally and sends another missile screaming at the new Batman just being placed in the target zone.
KABOOM! SPLAT.
-
Kevin’s Act 2 TP Midpoint
What I learned from this assignment is that the harder you set them up, the harder they fall.
INT. BATMOBILE – DAY
The Batmobile races through the streets of Gotham. The daycare looms in the distance growing closer. Batman crammed in the batmobile wearin the familar mask and a giant black cape surrounding him glances at the clock on his dash.
BATMAN
One minute thirty. You timed it just right didn’t you Joker?
He comes to a screeching halt at the front doors and a thick fog pours forth from the front of the batmobile engulfing the day care in white.
Batman emerges from the vehicle a shadow of black with the signature sillouette bursting through the doors surrounded by fog that fills the room instantly.
BATMAN
Made it. Now where is that infernal button?
He lunges forward, but trips on the oversized cape, falling forward just short of the button. The timer around the base counts down 3,2,1 Batman lunges to hit the timer.. 0 buzz. He hits it a second too late.
JOKER
Too late Batman!
The Joker’s laughter is loud and raucous as no explosion happens. The kids and teachers rejoice and laugh. Sirens come screaming up to the scene.
BATMAN
Time to evaporate. (to the room) The authorities are here now to release you.
Batman disappears back into the Batmobile as the fog dissipates. He vanishes back into the streets as the police and fire rescue vehicles pull up.
BATMAN
That doesn’t make sense. I was a second too late. No explosion. What was the laughter about?
His police scanner jumps to life.
SCANNER
All cars, an explosion at 22 Elm. Bowie elementary has gone up in a blaze. All cars. Respond to 454 Forrest, an explosion has torn Townhome elementary apart. All cars, respond to 225 Sycamore. Daisy daycare has exploded in a ball of fire. All cars. Respond to 667 Mimosa drive, Gotham Day care has been destroyed in a massive explosion.
BATMAN
No!!!
Alarms and sirens fill the air from all directions as the Batmobile screams off into the distance.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – NIGHT
Images of destroyed elementary and Day school buildings flood the screens in front of Bruce, sitting in despair, tears running down his face.
A silver figure walks over to him and puts his hand on Bruce’s shoulder.
Bruce instinctively turns to grab the arm and remove it, but it doesn’t budge, but cuts Bruce’s hand as it slides up the gleaming metal.
BRUCE
Who? What?
He tries to stand but is held in place by the android being now standing beside him. Ali is hanging by the doorway.
ALI
His name is Robin.
BRUCE
No. I don’t need a tin can to help. This is all my fault, I will fix it.
ALI
Come on Bruce, he can give you the advantage you’ve lost. And then some.
BRUCE
Thanks but no thanks. I can do it on my own.
ALI
Alright then. Let’s put him to the test. If he passes, he’s part of the team. If he fails, well. He won’t fail.
BRUCE
Fine. My rules.
ALI
To the lab.
INT. JOKER’S LAIR – NIGHT
Joker is pacing the floor of his lair, shooting up the new mannequin of Batman.
JOKER
Stupid, stupid, stupid. What a waste of chaos! What went wrong oh winged one? I timed everythig out to the second, even built in a few to spare…
He picks up a shotgun and blasts Batman over and over as he walks up, black plastic flying with each blast until he’s point blank and demolishes what’s left.
JOKER
ANOTHER!
He storms back to the table to reload as the henchman quickly places a new Batman in place of the old one, running out of the way just before Joker blasts the new one with the the rocket launcher.
JOKER
Another!
The henchman limps out the door not quite having escaped the debris.
JOKER
Still… I suppose now I have your full attention. Let’s see you get out of this one…
Joker goes to the intercom and hits the button.
JOKER
Oh my jolly elves, listen up! We’re going ballistic this time, only we’re going to use social media to do our bidding. Hit the streams my chuckles, open the floodgates of influence. We’re going to bury the bat in shame, and then hit him where it really hurts!
Joker laughs maniacally and sends another missile screaming at the new Batman just being placed in the target zone.
KABOOM! SPLAT.
-
LESSON FOURTEEN
Kevin’s Act 2 Middle Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is it took several scenes to show the plan getting put into action.
EXT. DEPARTMENT STORE – DAY
Joker slides furtively to and fro in front of a row of televisions in a department sore.
JOKER
Come on Battie, come on…
A news report rolls a banner reading breaking news Batman appears on the screen.
JOKER
Ha ha! There you are… I knew you were out there somewhere!
BATMAN
This is a message for the coward who calls himself The Joker. There’s no need to harm innocent children and day care workers if it’s me you’re after.
JOKER
Ha ha ha! You! You’re the one who will put an end to this miserable existence. I’ve got you now!
BATMAN
Meet me in the colosseum tomorrow at midnight. I’ll be alone.
Joker laughs and laughs. Those around watching in disgust.
JOKER
Oh no you don’t. We play by my rules, oh bat one.
INT. DAYCARE CENTER TWO – DAY
Joker stands in the middle of the daycare center. Around him are children chained to desks, play equipment and each other. A camera sits in front of him as he sits on the floor, building a letter block tower.
JOKER
Tick tock Batman, Tick tock. High noon approaches and these little ones want to get back to their blocks.
He strings a wire through the middle of the blocks and wiring them to a red button with a clown face in the middle of it.
OKER
I saw your little message, and as much as I’d love to come to your little rendezvous, it will be 12 hours too late! We already have a date which expires in 4 hours!
He finishes wiring the button, and moves the camera as he stands and points it to the button and then all around the room at the crying and sobbing children.
JOKER
This button will disable the bombs located in the middle of this here room! Saving all the little kiddies here!
He starts dancing around the room handing out suckers and candy to the children.
JOKER
Hurry Batman, all you have to do is find them and push the little red button! In the light of day. Better hurry!
INT. WAYNE MANOR – DAY
Bruce is drinking a green shake, making faces and choking it down. Ali is at the computer display eliminating sections of Gotham and trying to track the signal.
BRUCE
Damnit!
ALI
Got him!
Joker stared hard into the camera.
JOKER
Oh, and before you think the cavalry can save the day, they can’t see this!
He cackles uncontrollably.
JOKER
That’s right! I know where you are! Not actually of course or I’d blow you to oblivion but your digital imprint allowed me to open a tunnel and downstream directly to you! Thanks to AI, this is a love letter directly from me to you! Tick tock!
The screen blanks out.
BRUCE
Where’s the suit?
He jumps off the treadmill and opens the pneumatic closet that holds his suits. He pulls one out and holds it up. It’s half his size.
ALI
A few too many chips, Bruce?
BRUCE
Shut up. What are we going to do?
ALI
In 4 hours? I have no idea. You could send someone else.
BRUCE
Not possible. You saw him.
ALI
In the suit no one will know the difference.
BRUCE
Even if there was someone, I’m not putting someone else in danger.
ALI
It’s pushing a button.
BRUCE
It’s never just pushing a button.
ALI
Okay then, You can squeeze into the mask, right, I have an idea. We can just make it.
She circles an address, and swipes it off the screen.
-
Kevin’s Act 2 Reaction to TP 1
What I learned from this assignment is that I combined the immediate reaction to the turning point into the turning point scene, but it goes deeper, so I went beyond and made it even deeper in the following scenes.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – NIGHT
Bruce is on his treadmill, sucking on green goo, and looking at a complex grid on a virtual screen in front of him. Ali is standing at a console with rows of statistics in front of her.
BRUCE
Allison, how does this work again? I know we developed this, but…
Ali walks over in front of him and swipes her hand in front of his face. The screen swipes away and is replaced by another.
ALI
Honestly Uncle Bruce, how did you get so out of the loop? Just swipe in front of your face and poke holes in what you want to key in. A child can do it.
BRUCE
A child who grew up with technology. I grew up with dial phones and green stamps.
ALI
And developed hi tech gear to save the planet over and over with my Uncle Alfred. Cry me a river!
BRUCE
Okay, fine. Just help me out here, I’m detoxing and drinking your green crap aren’t I?
Ali stops what she’s doing and looks at him, sweating and chugging.
ALI
Two things. This ultimatum from the Joker. It’s not about airlines. Nothing here is vulnerable or out of line, and hijacking is too small scale for his threat. There must be something else we’re missing.
BRUCE
That’s one thing, and I agree, but his clues don’t match anything else. Military maybe? What’s the second thing?
ALI
You. No way we’re getting you anything close to camera ready by noon tomorrow. We need a plan to put you out there, but not let you be seen.
BRUCE
Agreed. Military isn’t his style. Chaos is. Let’s call him out before noon then. You do social media, right?
ALI
On it grandpa. You work on a speech that’ll resonate, I’ll get the platforms ready to pop.
-
-
Kevin’s finished Act I
What I learned doing this assignment is that moving through the story, sections reveal themselves and scenes get richer and even flow in their own directions as you move toward the end scenes. You can even build in callbacks while filling in earlier scenes that aren’t part of the key scenes we wrote first.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – NIGHT
BRUCE WAYNE, 62, sits in a comfortable easy chair, beer in hand, chips strewn about, eating a NY slice of pizza. He is 80 pounds overweight in a T-shirt and shorts, looking more like Archie Bunker than Batman.
An NFL game is on the wall sized television in front of him. He tosses a handful of chips at the screen.
BRUCE
Damn it, catch the fucking ball! You have hands, not flippers, what are you, a penguin?!
He grabs a dart from a box full of then on a side table and squints at the wall to his left. It’s full of news articles of past villains he has defeated. He chugs his beer.
He takes aim at the article with a photo of Penguin on it and flings the dart. It misses wildly and lands amongst the plethora of other darts scattered across the wall.
BRUCE
Fuck you too. Rot in hell with the other cockroaches!
EXT. PLAYGROUND PAGODA – DAY
THE JOKER, 65, too thin, is in typical clown gear, clearly drunk, moping about trying to scare the children who are running around him. The theme of the party is super heroes. The Children are all capes and logos.
JOKER
Come here you little Bat!
He swipes at a mini Batman, who evades his grasp and punches at the bells on his tunic, setting them jingling.
JOKER
I’ll get you next time, just wait!
He sticks out his foot and trips a Green Lantern who is trailing… he lets out a cackle. Wonder Woman whips at his head and pulls off the green wig atop his balding head.
JOKER
You little cowards! Come here, I’ll make you pay for that!
He falls awkwardly, his jester’s stick locking itself between his legs as he falls, causing him to double up in pain. The children laugh and mock him.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – DAY
Bruce is asleep in his chair, debris littering his chest and the room. ALI, 27, buff and beautiful walks in softly, the only light the television on a streaming landing screen.
ALI
Sir? Mr. Wayne?
Bruce is in a food and drink coma. She flips a switch on the wall. Gentle cinema lighting slowly fades in.
ALI (CONT’D)
Mr. Wayne? Are you awake?
Bruce is unaffected. She gives an irritated look and flips the switch all the way up, harsh lighting floods the room. Bruce doesn’t move.
ALI (CONT’D)
Gluttonous asshole.
She kicks the lever on the side of the recliner and it snaps into position dumping Bruce on the floor. He falls face up and sputters as the drink on his chest is now all over him and has nearly drowned him.
ALI
Oh, Mr. Wayne, you’ve fallen out of your chair. Let me help you.
She rolls him over with her foot so he’s lying face down. He wheezes for air. She walks over him putting her weight on his stomach as she does so. He sputters some more and crawls up to his hands and knees, coughing.
ALI
Are you all right sir? What can I do for you?
BRUCE
Nothing, nothing. What’s going on?
ALI
I don’t know what you mean sir. I was just coming in to inform you it’s nearly noon in case you were interested in starting your day.
BRUCE
Starting what day? What day is it?
ALI
It’s Tuesday sir.
BRUCE
What difference does it make? They’re all the same.
ALI
You do have a board meeting today sir. 2 o’clock. If you start getting ready now you can just make it.
BRUCE
Board meeting? Let Pennyworth take care of it. I won’t be going.
ALI
But sir,
BRUCE
Pennyworth, you hear?! I have to get some rest.
Bruce finally finds his feet, very unsteady, and grabs the back of the chair to steady himself.
ALI
Alfred died several years ago, Mr. Wayne.
BRUCE
What? Oh. Yes. Then the new CFO, what’s his name?
ALI
Her name, sir. Allison.
BRUCE
Right. Her. Let her do it.
ALI
Sir, with all due respect,
BRUCE
If you had any respect, girl, you’d shut up and help me to my bed!
Ali puts her foot on the handle of the chair and pushes down. The chair reclines sending Bruce once again to the floor.
ALI
Are you all right sir? You seem to have fallen again.
BRUCE
Fucking chair, what the fuck? Clean all this up, girl. What do you think I pay you for?
He grabs on to the door frame and pulls himself up. He slinks down the hallway beyond holding on to the walls as he goes. Ali looks after him.
ALI
Running this entire enterprise it seems.
She speaks into her phone.
ALI
Housekeeping.
HOUSEKEEPER
Yes, Miss Pennyworth?
ALI
Please send someone up to the film room. It’s a mess again.
HOUSEKEEPER
Right away ma’am.
ALI
Thank you.
EXT. PLAYGROUND PAGODA – DAY
Joker is lying on the ground, his pants having been pulled down to his ankles, wild polka dotted shorts flin in the wind about his waist.
JOKER
You little shits! I’ll show you how to play tag. Tag this… Oh Batman!
The Batman birthday boy runs over to Joker and kicks him. Joker grabs his leg and pulls him down.
JOKER
Come here kid, I have a special birthday treat for you!
They both get up and the Batman awaits patiently as Joker pulls his pants up, reaches in and pulls out a sucker, handing it to him.
BIRTHDAY BATMAN
Suckers are lame! I want a real candy bar!
JOKER
Sure kid, I have a nice Butterfinger (product placement) here in my bag for you!
He turns and walks over to his bag, reaching in and pulling out a handful of candy bars and dumping them on the picnic table.
BIRTHDAY BATMAN
Oh boy, a Butterfinger!
JOKER
Take your choice, I have all kinds.
Joker stands aside motioning to the pile of candy. Birthday Batman rushes to the table greedily putting a handful in each front pocket of his costume.
Joker pulls a firecracker out from one front pocket and a lighter out of the other. He ignites it and drops it in Birthday Batman’s back pocket just before he turns around. He kicks Joker in the shin and runs off.
JOKER
Happy Birthday!
Joker winces and smiles at the same time, giving out a little cackle. He watches Birthday Batman sprinting across the park as the firecraker blows up propelling the child forward and flat on his face as parents and children are horrified and Joker bursts out in glee.
The Dad comes vaulting toward Joker, who takes an innocent stance and shrugs ‘I dunno’.
JOKER
Don’t look at me, but he did have it coming!
Dad punches him out.
JOKER
Hey, whadid I do? They’ve been harassing me all day!
DAD
I don’t care what they did to you, they’re just little kids. You’re fired asshole!
JOKER
Take it easy.
DAD
And I’m going to be suing you, and the cut rate company you work for, for everything you’re worth!
THE DAD grabs Joker by the britches and collar and throws him through the bushes nearby, into a stream beyond.
JOKER
Hey watch it, you don’t know who you’re messing with. Hey, my gear!
DAD
I hope it hits you in the ass on your way out!
He grabs the bad and hurls it over the hedges, nearly hitting Joker, who is trying to fight the current of the stream. He lunges for the bag and goes in head first.
JOKER
Break out of jail to go straight for this? Fuck ‘em all. I’m done with this shit.
He drags himself out and slinks off, drown rat that his is, to a beaten down car.
INT. JOKER’S APARTMENT – DAY
Joker gets out of the shower and puts on a robe. he goes to his fridge that only contains Celcius. He grabs one as the news comes on the television.
COMMISSIONER PARSONS
As the new commissioner of police, I am proud of the work done by the previous administration, building on the famous Commissioner Gordon and the legendary Batman, in cleaning up this city and making it a shining example of law and order.
Joker tosses the can through the television set. He grabs a big gun from a drawer and begins shooting.
JOKER
You motherfuckers! Law and order my ass, meet crime and punishment!
He shoots the television and then takes aim at anything he can see that looks like a target. A muffled voice ring out.
VOICE
What the hell is going on? Is that gunfire? Stop that right now or I’m calling the police!
JOKER
Fuck you! Meet Disaster and Chaos!
He turns the gun on the walls and shoots up the entire apartment. Screaming rings out in all directions and bullets tear up sheetrock, explode windows, and ricochet off of stovetop and refrigerator.
He puts the gun to his head and winces, but cant do it.
JOKER
One last dance, Bat. You and me. Only this time you’re breaking that one rule of yours!
He opens his laptop, lying at his feet, the only thing spared the carnage. He searches Daycare facilities, chooses one randomly and heads out, grabbing a bag from his closet,, riddled with bullet holes.
JOKER
Welcome back to the good old days, Gotham! Joker is back in town!
He Crashes through the broken window onto the fire escape, laughing maniacally, climbing toward the roof as sirens fill the air.
EXT. DAYCARE CENTER ONE – DAY
The Center is full of PLAYING CHILDREN. A DAY CARE WORKER kneels down to help one of the little ones tie their shoe. The Joker walks out the front door with a gleam in his eye and a wry smile on his face.
JOKER
And so the cat pounces on the little bat and squeezes til it hurts!
He reaches into his pants and grabs his crotch. He squeezes wincing as he lets go. He does a little shake and pulls out a detonator in his hand.
JOKER
Boom!
He cackles with glee as his thumb presses down on the red button. He starts counting down from 10. When he gets to two the facility explodes behind him with a force that catapults him forward knocking him unconscious.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – DAY
A television blares footage of the destroyed facility with sirens blazing and chaos in the background. Bruce lies in bed passed out. Ali races into the room and kicks Bruce in the head.
ALI
Wayne! Get the hell up, now!
Bruce grabs his head in pain not sure what from, hung over and blurry.
BRUCE
What the hell?
Ali points to the screen covering the wall opposite the bed. A news anchor is in tears.
NEWS ANCHOR
Dozens of innocent children were killed along with three day care employees. The message scrawled across the roof reads Batman did this!
BRUCE
What the fuck?
NEWS ANCHOR
Authorities say they are waiting for Batman, after decades out of sight, to respond or reach out.
BRUCE
What’s going on, Ali?
ALI
Someone destroyed that daycare in your name.
BRUCE
I didn’t do it.
ALI
No shit, you couldn’t tie your shoes.
BRUCE
That’s not nice.
ALI
We don’t have time for nice. You need to find out what’s going on, and who’s behind this!
BRUCE
On it.
Bruce tries to get out of bed but his feet and head dont cooperate and he falls to the floor.
ALI
Oh for God’s sake.
She helps him to his feet. As he stands he’s in a dead stare with the charred remains of small children and stuffed animals. Ali breaks down in tears, he sinks to his knees, devastated and joins her.
The screen suddenly goes blank and a beeping sound emits. Then an image of The Joker appears in the center of the screen.
JOKER
Good morning, Gotham. Or rather good mourning. Sadly I’ve been away on a decades long sabatical, but guess what? I’m back, baby!
BRUCE
Of course it’s you.
JOKER
Sadly, The Batman has also decided to retire and leave you all subject to the criminal element. Sadly, they have no vision, but I’m here to enlighten them!
BRUCE
Where did you crawl out from?
JOKER
I’ve been trying to reach the rodent hero for weeks now, but all I’ve gotten is a cold shoulder, so I decided to heat things up. Hot enough for you now, Batman?
BRUCE
I’m going to extinguish you!
JOKER
You have 48 hours to show yourself and be man enough take responsibility before the next one goes up in flames! I’ll be waiting for your rsvp.
Joker cackles as an envelope pops open on the screen with an image of a mini Batman, the birthday boy we saw earlier, being drawn and quartered, then his torso flying forward to fill the screen blacking it out and cutting back to the reporter, who stares blankly at the camera.
Bruce stares blankly ahead, the falls backward onto the floor, Ali still sobbing, looks down on him.
INT. JOKER’S LAIR – DAY
Joker is in an all out hysterical state, laughing gleefully and dancing around his apartment, now cluttered with bomb making materials and stacks of cash.
JOKER
Batman, Batman, where are you? Come and get me!
The television in the background shows footage of the daycare smouldering and reporters watching as rescuers comb through the debris looking for survivors.
REPORTER
Still no word from Batman as the city and its officials wait and wonder.
The camera cuts to the police commissioner.
COMMISSIONER PARSONS
This is a tragedy of epic proportion the likes of which the city hasn’t known in decades. Batman, if you are watching, the phone lines are jammed. We urge you to contact us, in person if necessary.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – DAY
Bruce is on a treadmill walking slowly as sweat pours down his face onto his drenched t-shirt. The television is on the wall in front of him.
COMMISSIONER PARSONS
To the public, please free the emergency lines unless you have a genuine emergency, we are giving you information as soon as we know what’s happening. Please don’t add to the chaos in the streets by calling 911 for non-emergencies.
Ali walks in with a shake in one hand and a syringe in the other. She hands Bruce the shake. He takes a drink and spits it out.
BRUCE
What is that?!
ALI
It’s a weight loss protein shake. It won’t work miracles, but it won’t hurt!
BRUCE
Tell that to my taste buds.
She sticks the syringe in his arm and injects.
BRUCE
Ouch! What the hell, and watch it!
ALI
What the hell is vitamins and a special formula to kick your ass. And I meant for it to hurt!
BRUCE
Careful not to bite the hand that feeds you!
ALI
Hah! If uncle Alfred were here, he’d have kicked your ass!
BRUCE
Huh. Probably right.
ALI
You know I am. If I had any balls I’d do it right now.
BRUCE
Well, thank God you don’t. Besides, that isn’t going to motivate me any more than I already am.
ALI
Then let’s get to work, shall we? What’s the plan?
BRUCE
I think we wait. Get me back into fighting shape, as much as possible. He said 48 hours, so we wait until the 47th hour and lead him in a new direction. Take the lead and not fall into his trap.
ALI
Fighting shape? In 48 hours? It took 480 months to degenerate into this. You couldn’t get into pear shape by then.
The television glitches into static and begins playing circus music. Joker appears on the screen once again.
JOKER
Boring, boring, boring. I’m so tired of all this talking, saying the same thing over and over… blah, blah, blah! Let’s ratchet up the action! Now the timer is set for tomorrow at noon. If we don’t have a Batman sighting, explaining his lack of compassion and action there will be another little cataclysm and this time it won’t be such child’s play… come on Batman, come on out of the cave and fly to the rescue, or little birdies everywhere will fall from the sky!
ALI
What does he mean by that?
BRUCE
Airlines. Call up the Air Traffic server.
Bruce hits a button on the treadmill stopping it and tries to vault over the side, feeling his old motivation. His new physique however doesn’t cooperate and he just smashes into the side taking the entire machine over with him.
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Kevin’s Turning Point 1 Scenes
What I learned from this assignment is that I combined the inciting incident and the first turning point. Also I found out that taking time off in between writing is sort of crippling for me. I like continuing to flow. Even though taking a break now and then is necessary, taking 24 hours is too long and I lose momentum.
INT. JOKER’S LAIR – DAY
Joker is in an all out hysterical state, laughing gleefully and dancing around his apartment, now cluttered with bomb making materials and stacks of cash.
JOKER
Batman, Batman, where are you? Come and get me!
The television in the background shows footage of the daycare smouldering and reporters watching as rescuers comb through the debris looking for survivors.
REPORTER
Still no word from Batman as the city and its officials wait and wonder.
The camera cuts to the police commissioner.
COMMISSIONER PARSONS
This is a tragedy of epic proportion the likes of which the city hasn’t known in decades. Batman, if you are watching, the phone lines are jammed. We urge you to contact us, in person if necessary.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – DAY
Bruce is on a treadmill walking slowly as sweat pours down his face onto his drenched t-shirt. The television is on the wall in front of him.
COMMISSIONER PARSONS
To the public, please free the emergency lines unless you have a genuine emergency, we are giving you information as soon as we know what’s happening. Please don’t add to the chaos in the streets by calling 911 for non-emergencies.
Ali walks in with a shake in one hand and a syringe in the other. She hands Bruce the shake. He takes a drink and spits it out.
BRUCE
What is that?!
ALI
It’s a weight loss protein shake. It won’t work miracles, but it won’t hurt!
BRUCE
Tell that to my taste buds.
She sticks the syringe in his arm and injects.
BRUCE
Ouch! What the hell, and watch it!
ALI
What the hell is vitamins and a special formula to kick your ass. And I meant for it to hurt!
BRUCE
Careful not to bite the hand that feeds you!
ALI
Hah! If uncle Alfred were here, he’d have kicked your ass!
BRUCE
Huh. Probably right.
ALI
You know I am. If I had any balls I’d do it right now.
BRUCE
Well, thank God you don’t. Besides, that isn’t going to motivate me any more than I already am.
ALI
Then let’s get to work, shall we? What’s the plan?
BRUCE
I think we wait. Get me back into fighting shape, as much as possible. He said 48 hours, so we wait until the 47th hour and lead him in a new direction. Take the lead and not fall into his trap.
ALI
Fighting shape? In 48 hours? It took 480 months to degenerate into this. You couldn’t get into pear shape by then.
The television glitches into static and begins playing circus music. Joker appears on the screen once again.
JOKER
Boring, boring, boring. I’m so tired of all this talking, saying the same thing over and over… blah, blah, blah! Let’s ratchet up the action! Now the timer is set for tomorrow at noon. If we don’t have a Batman sighting, explaining his lack of compassion and action there will be another little cataclysm and this time it won’t be such child’s play… come on Batman, come on out of the cave and fly to the rescue, or little birdies everywhere will fall from the sky!
ALI
What does he mean by that?
BRUCE
Airlines. Call up the Air Traffic server.
Bruce hits a button on the treadmill stopping it and tries to vault over the side, feeling his old motivation. His new physique however doesn’t cooperate and he just smashes into the side taking the entire machine over with him.
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Kevin’s Inciting Incident
What I learned doing this assignment is that my scenes leading up to this need to go deeper into the emotional states of my characters to set it up, and there’s a lot of work ahead to make this scene even more powerful for the protagonist.
EXT. DAYCARE CENTER ONE – DAY
The Center is full of PLAYING CHILDREN. A DAY CARE WORKER kneels down to help one of the little ones tie their shoe. The Joker walks out the front door with a gleam in his eye and a wry smile on his face.
JOKER
And so the cat pounces on the little bat and squeezes til it hurts!
He reaches into his pants and grabs his crotch. He squeezes wincing as he lets go. He does a little shake and pulls out a detonator in his hand.
JOKER
Boom!
He cackles with glee as his thumb presses down on the red button. He starts counting down from 10. When he gets to two the facility explodes behind him with a force that catapults him forward knocking him unconscious.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – DAY
A television blares footage of the destroyed facility with sirens blazing and chaos in the background. Bruce lies in bed passed out. Ali races into the room and kicks Bruce in the head.
ALI
Wayne! Get the hell up, now!
Bruce grabs his head in pain not sure what from, hung over and blurry.
BRUCE
What the hell?
Ali points to the screen covering the wall opposite the bed. A news anchor is in tears.
NEWS ANCHOR
Dozens of innocent children were killed along with three day care employees. The message scrawled across the roof reads Batman did this!
BRUCE
What the fuck?
NEWS ANCHOR
Authorities say they are waiting for Batman, after decades out of sight, to respond or reach out.
BRUCE
What’s going on, Ali?
ALI
Someone destroyed that daycare in your name.
BRUCE
I didn’t do it.
ALI
No shit, you couldn’t tie your shoes.
BRUCE
That’s not nice.
ALI
We don’t have time for nice. You need to find out what’s going on, and who’s behind this!
BRUCE
On it.
Bruce tries to get out of bed but his feet and head dont cooperate and he falls to the floor.
ALI
Oh for God’s sake.
She helps him to his feet. As he stands he’s in a dead stare with the charred remains of small children and stuffed animals. Ali breaks down in tears, he sinks to his knees, devastated and joins her.
The screen suddenly goes blank and a beeping sound emits. Then an image of The Joker appears in the center of the screen.
JOKER
Good morning, Gotham. Or rather good mourning. Sadly I’ve been away on a decades long sabatical, but guess what? I’m back, baby!
BRUCE
Of course it’s you.
JOKER
Sadly, The Batman has also decided to retire and leave you all subject to the criminal element. Sadly, they have no vision, but I’m here to enlighten them!
BRUCE
Where did you crawl out from?
JOKER
I’ve been trying to reach the rodent hero for weeks now, but all I’ve gotten is a cold shoulder, so I decided to heat things up. Hot enough for you now, Batman?
BRUCE
I’m going to extinguish you!
JOKER
You have 48 hours to show yourself and be man enough take responsibility before the next one goes up in flames! I’ll be waiting for your rsvp.
Joker cackles as an envelope pops open on the screen with an image of a mini Batman, the birthday boy we saw earlier, being drawn and quartered, then his torso flying forward to fill the screen blacking it out and cutting back to the reporter, who stares blankly at the camera.
Bruce stares blankly ahead, the falls backward onto the floor, Ali still sobbing, looks down on him.
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Kevin’s opening scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is that writing these scenes opens up the characters even more.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – NIGHT
BRUCE WAYNE, 62, sits in a comfortable easy chair, beer in hand, chips strewn about, eating a NY slice of pizza. He is 80 pounds overweight in a T-shirt and shorts, looking more like Archie Bunker than Batman.
An NFL game is on the wall sized television in front of him. He tosses a handful of chips at the screen.
BRUCE
Damn it, catch the fucking ball! You have hands, not flippers, what are you, a penguin?!
He grabs a dart from a box full of then on a side table and squints at the wall to his left. It’s full of news articles of past villains he has defeated. He chugs his beer.
He takes aim at the article with a photo of Penguin on it and flings the dart. It misses wildly and lands amongst the plethora of other darts scattered across the wall.
BRUCE
Fuck you too. Rot in hell with the other cockroaches!
EXT. PLAYGROUND PAGODA – DAY
THE JOKER, 65, too thin, is in typical clown gear, clearly drunk, moping about trying to scare the children who are running around him. The theme of the party is super heroes. The Children are all capes and logos.
JOKER
Come here you little Bat!
He swipes at a mini Batman, who evades his grasp and punches at the bells on his tunic, setting them jingling.
JOKER
I’ll get you next time, just wait!
He sticks out his foot and trips a Green Lantern who is trailing… he lets out a cackle. Wonder Woman whips at his head and pulls off the green wig atop his balding head.
JOKER
You little cowards! Come here, I’ll make you pay for that!
He falls awkwardly, his jester’s stick locking itself between his legs as he falls, causing him to double up in pain. The children laugh and mock him.
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Kevin’s Beat Sheet Draft 2
What I learned doing this assignment is that the theme isn’t really what I thought it was at all once I see the story played out. I found a better one, that I think is more pervasive.
The new beat sheet is below with the theme of moving on from the past and accepting a better future woven throughout and added to the antagonist’s journey.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – NIGHT
BRUCE WAYNE, 62, sits in a comfortable easy chair, beer in hand, chips strewn about, eating a NY slice of pizza. He is 80 pounds overweight in a T-shirt and shorts, looking more like Archie Bunker than Batman.
He is watching a football game, throwing chips from a bowl at the wall mounted TV when upset. He has a wall of villains he has defeated to his left, a box full of darts next to him. He throws a dart every few drinks trying to hit the villains on the wall. The wall is covered in darts.
EXT. PLAYGROUND PAGODA – DAY
THE JOKER, 65, too thin, is in typical clown gear, clearly drunk, moping about trying to scare the children who are running around him. The theme of the party is super heroes and some are dressed as Batman, including the birthday boy. They are pulling at his clown clothes, laughing at him. He curses them as they trip him and mock him. He tries to lash out at the Batman kids calling them cowards.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – DAY
Bruce is asleep in his chair, debris littering his chest and the room. ALI, 27, buff and beautiful walks in and flips on harsh lighting. Bruce doesn’t move, so she kicks the lever on the side of the recliner and it snaps into position dumping Bruce on the floor.
They have a conversation where she is polite and contrite, clearly the servant, and he is confused and belligerent, depressed and slinks off to bed leaving her to clean up the mess. Clearly not her job, as she calls for a maid.
EXT. PLAYGROUND PAGODA – DAY
Joker has had enough of the kid’s crap, so he lights a firecracker and puts it in the pocket of THE BIRTHDAY BOY. It explodes, the kid cries and Joker laughs.
THE DAD punches Joker out and fires him on the spot, throwing him through the bushes into a stream beyond which washes him downstream. He drags himself out and slinks off to he beaten down car.
INT. JOKER’S LAIR – DAY
Joker gets out of the shower and puts on a robe. Goes to his fridge that only contains Celcius. He grabs one and tosses it through his small TV set as it shows the new commissioner of police addressing the safety of the city.
He gets a big gun from a drawer and shoots the apartment up, screaming at everything he owns. He puts the gun to his head but cant do it. He curses Batman and decides that’s it.
He opens his laptop and searches Daycare facilities. He chooses one randomly and heads out, grabbing a bag from his closet. He rails about the glory days which will soon be back.
EXT. DAYCARE CENTER ONE – DAY
Joker walks away from the daycare facility counting down from 10. As he gets to 2 the facility explodes behind him. He curses he was off the count and keeps walking away, hero style.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – DAY
A television blares footage of the destroyed facility with sirens blazing and chaos in the background. Ali runs into the room and kicks Bruce in the bed to awaken him. Bruce reluctantly rises, hung over and blurry.
A news anchor is saying that the past has reared it’s ugly head again.
Ali explains what happened. He responds tragedy happens, and she shows him a laptop with Joker’s calling card, boasting and calling out Batman on Social media. He says Batman has 48 hours to respond before the next bombing.
INT. JOKER’S LAIR – DAY
Joker gloats and laughs as the commissioner calls on Batman to come back and help out.
INT. CABIN IN THE WOODS – DAY
COMMISSIONER GORDON, 76, weathered but contented looking, is called to the cabin from fishing in a nearby pond. His wife shows him the news. He rebukes her until he sees Joker’s image and hears the call for Batman to return. He sighs and she hands him his fedora.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – NIGHT
Batman has reluctantly decided to get back in shape and go after Joker, but without time, Ali points out the best he can do is get sober and sharp. They start to train and sweat him out, to little avail.
EXT. DEPARTMENT STORE – DAY
Joker, not in costume, is standing in front of a row of televisions watching an image of Batman rebuking him and calling him a coward who kills children and to come find him in person if that’s his end game.
Joker laughs and laughs, public watching in disgust.
INT. DAYCARE CENTER TWO – DAY
Joker is broadcasting from the daycare facility early in the AM in clown costume, in the middle of children chained to play equipment, calling out Batman, who he is saying is too cowardly to show his face, to come rescue them before it’s too late. Saying if Batman is too late, it will be too late for the hundreds of kids who are in care today.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – DAY
Bruce is drinking a green shake, making faces and choking it down. The news report with Joker is playing on Ali’s computer as he looks at the suit which is half the size he is.
They discuss how he will make an appearance as Batman, even with a newly designed suit, to save the kids, and decide that he’ll take the Batmobile and lay down a fog before entering, fitting in the mask. Hes the only one that can save them, says he.
INT. BATMOBILE – DAY
Batman is racing through the streets and pulls up to the daycare center with 1:30 counting down on the timer. He lays down a thick fog, pushing it into the daycare center ahead of him.
He arrives at the playgound with 20 seconds left on his timer, but the fog is so thick he can’t find the detonator. He finally sees the red flashing light at 5 seconds. He nearly reaches it at 3 but trips. It counts down 2,1, then a beep goes off and a recorded voice says… too late caped crusa –
Batman slams his hand down on the red button, and canned laughter rings out. No explosion. The kids and teachers reoice.
Then alarms and sirens go off all around them. He jumps back into the Batmobile as the fog dissipates and the radio blares out an explosion has taken place at Bowie Elementary, then another report at another day care, then another. The batmobile screeches off into the distance.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – NIGHT
Bruce sits dejected lamenting 10 day care and elementary schools were bombed, hundreds of lives lost. He cries and doesn’t know what to do. A silver figure walks over to him and puts his hand on Bruce’s shoulder.
Bruce instinctively swats it away but it doesn’t budge, but cuts Bruce’s hand. He looks up and it is an android. Ali is standing nearby and tells him Robin can help.
SCENE WHERE BATMAN REJECTS ROBIN AND SAYS HE CAN DO IT ALONE, TRAINING SEQUENCE IN WHICH ROBIN IS BETTER AT EVERYTHING AND BATMAN HAS TO ADMIT IT.
She reintroduces Robin as a solution for Bruce’s lack of physical strength and prowess. Bruce realizes he’s been out of the game too long and asks Ali to teach him how to operate Robin and show him the technology.
INT. JOKER’S LAIR – NIGHT
Joker is angry Batman didn’t make it in time, but knows he has his attention now. He goes on social media to call him out once again, blaming him for the children’s deaths, and tells him next time it won’t be such a small loss of life.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – DAY
The next morning, Ali brings Bruce coffee and Bruce is staring at a television reporting all the social media outrage. He laments being out of touch for so long and asks Ali to give him a crash course in social media.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – NIGHT
Bruce takes to social media as Batman, baiting the joker into responding quickly and finds out the location of joker’s lair.
EXT. BOX STORE – DAY
Joker is watching his new threat of destroying the largest convention center in gotham on the tvs in the store. He gives another ultimatum, this time Batman only has 2 hours to find him and stop the destruction of the convention center.
EXT. WAYNE MANOR – DAY
Bruce sends Robin to the convention center to evacuate the people in the building and disarm the bombs, as he rushes to the joker’s lair to stop him.
EXT. CONVENTION CENTER – DAY
People are streaming out of the convention center doors, running away as Robin is climbing the side of the building to get to the top.
He reaches the top of the building, finds the detonation device, and watches it count down from 5 minutes. He disarms the device and stands there watching the last of the people run away.
INT. JOKER’S LAIR – DAY
Batman, in a transformed suit, crashes through the window, finding Joker lounging on the sofa. He congratulates Batman on finding him, and mocks him, making fun of his appearance and weight gain. Batman tells him his time is up.
The joker agrees and points to a large gun on the table beside Batman. Joker is holding a detonator. He tells Batman he has one chance to end this all by violating his one rule and saving everyone. To take the gun and kill him.
Batman scoffs and tells him his plan failed and his sidekick, Robin has already evacuated the convention center and disarmed the bombs.
Joker says good for him, the detonator in his hand isn’t for the convention center, that one was just for show, the one in his hand is for the police headquarters, the commissioner and all the brass will go up in smoke if Batman doesn’t end it all for the joker by the time he reaches 10.
Joker starts the countdown as Batman tries to reason with him and take him into custody. As Joker reaches one, Batman is two steps away and lunges, Joker throws the detonator in the air and the sofa flips over, dumping the joker to safety. Batman catches the detonator as a building in the distance explodes on the horizon. Batman looks out the window in horror.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – DAY
Batman is despondent and defeated. He watches Joker on the computer screen telling the world that chaos is approved, the head’s been cut off the policing world and all is fair game. Looting, any crime is going to be impossible for the cops to stop. Batman’s next failure will result in a nuclear disaster that will destroy Gotham and pollute the world. Get it while the gettin’s good and get out.
A knock and Ali enters with Gordon. They discuss Bruce’s Achilles heel and inability to take down the Joker. If only he was the man he used to be. Gordon says he doen’t need to be that man, only the man he is. There is another Batman who can play by other rules.
Ali steps out of the shadows in Batman’s suit without the mask. Batman hands her the mask, and she asks what the plan is.
SCENES ABOUT GORDON AS THE NEW COMMISSIONER
EXT. CELL TOWER – DAY
Joker is broadcasting the new ultimatum to Batman about the nuclear device planted in the middle of the city at City Hall.
Joker is standing on a platform below the cells with the detonator in his hand. He tells the world it’s too late to run for all of them. If Batman fails to show up and confront him like a man, everyone in Gotham, himself included will be victim to the largest tragedy known to man.
He’s about to give the time frame when the detonator is kicked from his hand and another foot crosses his mouth sending him down a level on the tower.
He gets up confused but swearing and mocking Batman, when Batman jumps from the upper level down to stand in front of Joker, lean and strong. Batman grabs Joker by the throat and holds him off the ground.
Joker laughs and tells Batman to throw him off the tower, end him and save the world, then notices it’s not the Batman he knows and punches Batman in the crotch. Batman lets go momentarily.
Joker asks who that really is and where is the real Batman. Bruce steps out from behind him and pins him to the rail. Revealing he was batman, but now there’s a new batman in town, and now Joker will die in prison, as he should have long ago.
Joker recognizes Wayne and they have a moment. He then says he’s too old for that and if Wayne won’t kill him, he’ll do it himself after all, thwarted and alone.
As Bruce reaches out to grab him, Joker leans back and falls off the tower to his death, disappearing in the clouds below them. Batman dives to the spot just too late to catch his arm. Standing in front of Bruce, Ali pulls off the mask.
Bruce puts it back on her. Never in public he says. The mask is the power.
They look up into the clouds and see the bat signal pervading the mist. Gordon is calling for you Bruce says.
THE END
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Kevin’s High Speed Beat Sheet
What I learned from this assignment is that it flowed pretty well to the beat sheet and it’s taking shape already.This method is working well to get me to scenes. I’d say I’m probably halfway to where I want to be. 26 scenes at this point.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – NIGHT
BRUCE WAYNE, 62, sits in a comfortable easy chair, beer in hand, chips strewn about, eating a NY slice of pizza. He is 80 pounds overweight in a T-shirt and shorts, looking more like Archie Bunker than Batman.
He is watching a football game, throwing chips from a bowl at the wall mounted TV when upset.
EXT. PLAYGROUND PAGODA – DAY
THE JOKER, 65, too thin, is in typical clown gear, moping about trying to scare the children who are running around pulling at his clown clothes, laughing at him.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – DAY
Bruce is asleep in his chair, debris littering his chest and the room. ALI, 27, buff and beautiful walks in and flips on harsh lighting. Bruce doesn’t move, so she kicks the lever on the side of the recliner and it snaps into position dumping Bruce on the floor.
They have a conversation where she is polite and contrite, clearly the servant, and he is confused and belligerent, depressed and slinks off to bed leaving her to clean up the mess. Clearly not her job, as she calls for a maid.
EXT. PLAYGROUND PAGODA – DAY
Joker has had enough of the kid’s crap, so he lights a firecracker and puts it in the pocket of THE BIRTHDAY BOY. It explodes, the kid cries and Joker laughs.
THE DAD punches Joker out and fires him on the spot, throwing him through the bushes into a stream beyond which washes him downstream. He drags himself out and slinks off to he beaten down car.
INT. JOKER’S LAIR – DAY
Joker gets out of the shower and puts on a robe. Goes to his fridge that only contains Celcius. He grabs one and tosses it through his small TV set.
He gets a big gun from a drawer and shoots the apartment up, screaming at everything he owns. He puts the gun to his head but cant do it. He curses Batman and decides that’s it.
He opens his laptop and searches Daycare facilities. He chooses one randomly and heads out, grabbing a bag from his closet.
EXT. DAYCARE CENTER ONE – DAY
Joker walks away from the daycare facility counting down from 10. As he gets to 2 the facility explodes behind him. He curses he was off the count and keeps walking away, hero style.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – DAY
A television blares footage of the destroyed facility with sirens blazing and chaos in the background. Ali runs into the room and kicks Bruce in the bed to awaken him. Bruce reluctantly rises, hung over and blurry.
Ali explains what happened. He responds tragedy happens, and she shows him a laptop with Joker’s calling card, boasting and calling out Batman on Social media. He says Batman has 48 hours to respond before the next bombing.
INT. JOKER’S LAIR – DAY
Joker gloats and laughs as the commissioner calls on Batman to come back and help out.
INT. CABIN IN THE WOODS – DAY
COMMISSIONER GORDON, 76, weathered but contented looking, is called to the cabin from fishing in a nearby pond. His wife shows him the news. He rebukes her until he sees Joker’s image and hears the call for Batman to return. He sighs and she hands him his fedora.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – NIGHT
Batman has reluctantly decided to get back in shape and go after Joker, but without time, Ali points out the best he can do is get sober and sharp. They start to train and sweat him out, to little avail.
EXT. DEPARTMENT STORE – DAY
Joker, not in costume, is standing in front of a row of televisions watching an image of Batman rebuking him and calling him a coward who kills children and to come find him in person if that’s his end game.
Joker laughs and laughs, public watching in disgust.
INT. DAYCARE CENTER TWO – DAY
Joker is broadcasting from the daycare facility early in the AM in clown costume, in the middle of children chained to play equipment, calling out Batman to come rescue them before it’s too late. Saying if Batman is too late, it will be too late for the hundreds of kids who are in care today.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – DAY
Bruce is drinking a green shake, making faces and choking it down. The news report with Joker is playing on Ali’s computer as he looks at the suit which is half the size he is.
They discuss how he will make an appearance as Batman to save the kids, and decide that he’ll take the Batmobile and lay down a fog before entering, fitting in the mask.
INT. BATMOBILE – DAY
Batman is racing through the streets and pulls up to the daycare center with 1:30 counting down on the timer. He lays down a thick fog, pushing it into the daycare center ahead of him.
He arrives at the playgound with 20 seconds left on his timer, but the fog is so thick he can’t find the detonator. He finally sees the red flashing light at 5 seconds. He nearly reaches it at 3 but trips. It counts down 2,1, then a beep goes off and a recorded voice says… too late caped crusa –
Batman slams his hand down on the red button, and canned laughter rings out. No explosion. The kids and teachers reoice.
Then alarms and sirens go off all around them. He jumps back into the Batmobile as the fog dissipates and the radio blares out an explosion has taken place at Bowie Elementary, then another report at another day care, then another. The batmobile screeches off into the distance.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – NIGHT
Bruce sits dejected lamenting 10 day care and elementary schools were bombed, hundreds of lives lost. He cries and doesn’t know what to do. A silver figure walks over to him and puts his hand on Bruce’s shoulder.
Bruce instinctively swats it away but it doesn’t budge, but cuts Bruce’s hand. He looks up and it is an android. Ali is standing nearby and tells him Robin can help.
She reintroduces Robin as a solution for Bruce’s lack of physical strength and prowess. Bruce realizes he’s been out of the game too long and asks Ali to teach him how to operate Robin and show him the technology.
INT. JOKER’S LAIR – NIGHT
Joker is angry Batman didn’t make it in time, but knows he has his attention now. He goes on social media to call him out once again, blaming him for the children’s deaths, and tells him next time it won’t be such a small loss of life.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – DAY
The next morning, Ali brings Bruce coffee and Bruce is staring at a television reporting all the social media outrage. He laments being out of touch for so long and asks Ali to give him a crash course in social media.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – NIGHT
Bruce takes to social media as Batman, baiting the joker into responding quickly and finds out the location of joker’s lair.
EXT. BOX STORE – DAY
Joker is watching his new threat of destroying the largest convention center in gotham on the tvs in the store. He gives another ultimatum, this time Batman only has 2 hours to find him and stop the destruction of the convention center.
EXT. WAYNE MANOR – DAY
Bruce sends Robin to the convention center to evacuate the people in the building and disarm the bombs, as he rushes to the joker’s lair to stop him.
EXT. CONVENTION CENTER – DAY
People are streaming out of the convention center doors, running away as Robin is climbing the side of the building to get to the top.
He reaches the top of the building, finds the detonation device, and watches it count down from 5 minutes. He disarms the device and stands there watching the last of the people run away.
INT. JOKER’S LAIR – DAY
Batman, in a transformed suit, crashes through the window, finding Joker lounging on the sofa. He congratulates Batman on finding him, and mocks him, making fun of his appearance and weight gain. Batman tells him his time is up.
The joker agrees and points to a large gun on the table beside Batman. Joker is holding a detonator. He tells Batman he has one chance to end this all by violating his one rule and saving everyone. To take the gun and kill him.
Batman scoffs and tells him his plan failed and his sidekick, Robin has already evacuated the convention center and disarmed the bombs.
Joker says good for him, the detonator in his hand isn’t for the convention center, that one was just for show, the one in his hand is for the police headquarters, the commissioner and all the brass will go up in smoke if Batman doesn’t end it all for the joker by the time he reaches 10.
Joker starts the countdown as Batman tries to reason with him and take him into custody. As Joker reaches one, Batman is two steps away and lunges, Joker throws the detonator in the air and the sofa flips over, dumping the joker to safety. Batman catches the detonator as a building in the distance explodes on the horizon. Batman looks out the window in horror.
INT. WAYNE MANOR – DAY
Batman is despondent and defeated. He watches Joker on the computer screen telling the world that chaos is approved, the head’s been cut off the policing world and all is fair game. Looting, any crime is going to be impossible for the cops to stop. Batman’s next failure will result in a nuclear disaster that will destroy Gotham and pollute the world. Get it while the gettin’s good and get out.
A knock and Ali enters with Gordon. They discuss Bruce’s Achilles heel and inability to take down the Joker. If only he was the man he used to be. Gordon says he doen’t need to be that man, only the man he is. There is another Batman who can play by other rules.
Ali steps out of the shadows in Batman’s suit without the mask. Batman hands her the mask, and she asks what the plan is.
SCENES ABOUT GORDON AS THE NEW COMMISSIONER
EXT. CELL TOWER – DAY
Joker is broadcasting the new ultimatum to Batman about the nuclear device planted in the middle of the city at City Hall.
Joker is standing on a platform below the cells with the detonator in his hand. He tells the world it’s too late to run for all of them. If Batman fails to show up and confront him like a man, everyone in Gotham, himself included will be victim to the largest tragedy known to man.
He’s about to give the time frame when the detonator is kicked from his hand and another foot crosses his mouth sending him down a level on the tower.
He gets up confused but swearing and mocking
Batman, when Batman jumps from the upper level down to stand in front of Joker,
lean and strong. Batman grabs Joker by the throat and holds him off the ground.
Joker laughs and tells Batman to throw him off
the tower, end him and save the world, then notices it’s not the Batman he
knows and punches Batman in the crotch. Batman lets go momentarily. Joker asks who that really is and where is the
real Batman. Bruce steps out from behind him and pins him to the rail.
Revealing he was batman, but now there’s a new batman in town, and now Joker
will die in prison, as he should have long ago. Joker recognizes Wayne and they have a moment.
He then says he’s too old for that and if Wayne won’t kill him, he’ll do it
himself after all, thwarted and alone. As Bruce reaches out to grab him, Joker leans
back and falls off the tower to his death, disappearing in the clouds below
them. Batman dives to the spot just too late to catch his arm. Standing in front
of Bruce, Ali pulls off the mask. Bruce puts it back on her. Never in public he
says. The mask is the power. They look up into the clouds and see the bat
signal pervading the mist. Gordon is calling for you Bruce says.THE END -
Kevin’s Transformational Events
What I learned from this lesson is that choosing transformational changes to the character’s arc deepens the story.
Batman goes from Old, depressed, no will to live to reinvigorated, interested in life again, and becoming the Alfred to Ali’s Batman
3. Make a list of 6 – 8 changes or steps that need to happen for that character to go from who they are in the beginning (Old Ways) to who they are in the ending (New Ways).
4. Sequence the steps from easiest to most difficult. This will imply the journey the character takes.
He needs to get up to speed on current technology
He needs to leap forward in current culture
He needs to go from Out of shape and in poor health to healthy and fit
He needs to brush up on his fighting skills and reflexes
He needs to accept he’s not what he once was
He needs to let go of his past identity and take on new responsibility
He needs to let someone else step into the role of hero and accept the role of support
Act 1:
Opening Batman is old, fat, depressed. Living out his
days as a regular Joe, uninspired and letting others manage his empire.
Joker is doing kids parties and hating life.
Inciting Incident Joker gets fired from gig and decides
it’s time to die – by the hand of Batman.
Turning Point Joker blows up daycare facility to get
Batman’s attention.Act 2:
New plan Batman decides to get in shape and back in
action to stop Joker. He enlists the help of his new assistant, Ali
(Alfred’s niece) who is a trainer and martial artist as well as a computer
engineer.
Plan in action He calls Joker out, starts working out,
eating better, training, and goes out to thwart the next attempt at
disaster.
Midpoint Turning Point Batman arrives at the destination
after the deadline, but is able to stop the bomb but instead 10 other
facilities are destroyed when he disables the one device. He has destroyed
all of the others.Act 3:
Rethink everything Batman decides he needs help in
order to compensate for his lack of physical ability and brings online an
AI partner Ali had created for him that he rejected, Robin, to help make
up for his lack of ability. He has Ali teach him technology and how to leverage
social media.
New plan – He figures out Joker’s next trap, sending
Robin as a decoy to disarm the bomb in time this time, while he goes to
Joker’s new lair.
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift When he gets
there, Joker congratulates him but tells him that unless he kills Joker in
the next 0 seconds, the largest convention center in Gotham will be
destroyed. Batman hesitates and Joker, disappointed in him, tells him the
next one will determine the fate of the entire city… he blows the building
full of people and vanishes.Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict – Batman is
dejected and returns to the manor. Joker sends the final message, a
nuclear device that will destroy the city and wreak havoc on the entire
world. Batman finally realizes he can’t be the hero he once was, but is
able to see and anticipate, and is better suited for the role Alfred once
played for him. He asks Ali to become Batman, take over his legacy, and
stop The Joker.
Resolution – Ali steps into the suit and becomes
Batman. She is all the physical specimen he was, with added skills. She
confronts Joker, who notices it’s not THE Batman he knows, who comes up
behind him and traps him as Bruce Wayne, revealing himself to Joker.
Rather than face another incarceration, Joker throws himself off the tower
to his death committing suicide and ensuring his place in oblivion, not
infamy. -
Kevin’s 4 Act Transformational Structure
What I learned from this assignment is this wasn’t as hard as I imagined it would be and is going to be a fun ride!
1. Give us the following:
Concept Batman and Joker are both past their prime and
suffering from the loss of the limelight. Joker can’t take it anymore and
decides to draw Batman back out into one final conflict which will end in
the Joker’s death.
Main Conflict – Joker tries to get Batman to kill him.
Old Ways Both are despondent and depressed.
New Ways Both find new purpose and rekindled vigor2. Fill in each of these with the answers you have right now.
Act 1:
Opening Batman is old, fat, depressed. Living out his
days as a regular Joe, uninspired and letting others manage his empire.
Joker is doing kids parties and hating life.
Inciting Incident Joker gets fired from gig and decides
it’s time to die – by the hand of Batman.
Turning Point Joker blows up daycare facility to get
Batman’s attention.Act 2:
New plan Batman decides to get in shape and back in
action to stop Joker. He enlists the help of his new assistant, Ali
(Alfred’s niece) who is a trainer and martial artist as well as a computer
engineer.
Plan in action He calls Joker out, starts working out,
eating better, training, and goes out to thwart the next attempt at
disaster.
Midpoint Turning Point Batman arrives at the destination
after the deadline, but is able to stop the bomb but instead 10 other
facilities are destroyed when he disables the one device. He has destroyed
all of the others.Act 3:
Rethink everything Batman decides he needs help in
order to compensate for his lack of physical ability and brings online an
AI partner Ali had created for him that he rejected, Robin, to help make
up for his lack of ability.
New plan – He figures out Joker’s next trap, sending
Robin as a decoy to disarm the bomb in time this time, while he goes to
Joker’s new lair.
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift When he gets
there, Joker congratulates him but tells him that unless he kills Joker in
the next 0 seconds, the largest convention center in Gotham will be
destroyed. Batman hesitates and Joker, disappointed in him, tells him the
next one will determine the fate of the entire city… he blows the building
full of people and vanishes.Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict – Batman is
dejected and returns to the manor. Joker sends the final message, a
nuclear device that will destroy the city and wreak havoc on the entire
world. Batman finally asks Ali to become Batman, take over his legacy, and
stop The Joker.
Resolution – Ali steps into the suit and becomes
Batman. She is all the physical specimen he was, with added skills. She
confronts Joker, who notices it’s not THE Batman he knows, who comes up
behind him and traps him as Bruce Wayne, revealing himself to Joker.
Rather than face another incarceration, Joker throws himself off the tower
to his death committing suicide and ensuring his place in oblivion, not
infamy. -
Kevin’s Character interviews
What I learned from this assignment is that my characters are getting more realistic and less cartoon-like with each assignment which I think is a good thing in today’s environment.
QUESTIONS FOR YOUR PROTAGONIST
Tell me about yourself. – I have more money than I
could give away and yet I’m deeply unhappy. Nothing matters to me anymore
and I don’t really have a purpose. All my work to this point has been for nothing.
Nothing ever changes.
Why do you think you were called to this journey? Why
you? I don’t have a choice. This is all my doing and if I don’t act,
untold thousands will die for nothing.
You are up against <the Antagonist>. What is it
about them that makes this journey even more difficult for you? He’s been
mocking me my entire life, I thought he was gone but now he comes back to
torment me one final time.
In order to survive or accomplish this, you are going
to have to step way outside of your box. What changes do you expect to
make and which of them will be the most difficult? I have to change
everything to come back and defeat him. I’m a different man now than I
used to be but even so it will be hard to do the physical things I was
once capable of and mentally I’m not strong any more.
What habits or ways of thinking do you think will be
the most difficult to let go of? I may have to break my one rule and
finally kill.
What fears, insecurities and wounds have held you back?
My entire life has been in pursuit of justice and revenge. I may have to
revisit that and break my code of honor
What skills, background or expertise makes you
well-suited to face this conflict or antagonist? I was Batman.
What are you hiding from the other characters? What
don’t you want them to know? That I’m fat, out of shape, depressed and
unfit to carry my legacy forward.
What do you think of <the Antagonist>? He is the antithesis
of who I am. Someone who has no moral compass and cares about nothing.
Tell me your side of this whole conflict / story. Those
like him are the reason my parents were killed and I was left an orphan
seeking revenge for life. He stands for everything evil in the world and
though he’s been out of the limelight, he’s the poster child for all
things sour. He needs to disappear forever this time.
What does it do for your life is you succeed here? I
may finally find peace.
Ask any other questions about their character profile
that will help you.QUESTIONS FOR YOUR ANTAGONIST
Tell me about yourself. I’m a sad lonely shell of my
former self. I do children’s parties out of disdain for myself. I should
have died years ago, but was left to live this pitiable existence.
Having to do with this journey, what are your strengths
and weaknesses? I am still quick witted and have an agile mind. I can
torment with the best of them, but I’ve lost the will to act in large and
flashy ways. Too much effort.
Why are you committed to making the Protagonist fail?
Or for a relationship movie, why are you committed to making them change?
I need Batman to betray himself and finally kill me to cement my place in
history and not die alone and puny.
What do you get out of winning this fight / succeeding
in your plan / taking down your competition? I get immortality and to
leave the earth in glory instead of oblivion.
What drives you toward your mission / agenda, even in
the face of danger, ruin, or death? My mission is my death and my legacy,
once thought secure but now pales to the likes of other less brilliant
evil men.
What secrets must you keep to succeed? What other
secrets do you keep out of fear / insecurity? I must not let Batman know I
want him to kill me. I need to manipulate him into doing it.
Compared to other people like you, what makes you
special? There is no one like me! I am unique and uniquely brilliant.
Other pretenders think they are agents of chaos, but they are ants and I
am the anteater.
What do you think of <the Protagonist>? He’s a
sad little man who has finally accepted his puny place in history. Sadly
he is also the only one that can cement my place in history, so I must
draw him back out.
Tell me your side of this whole conflict / story.
Batman beat me into submission by locking me away enough times and thwarting
my genius to the point that I lost ambition in the end. Now however I
cannot stand the lowlight and the existence I’ve been subjected to. I will
create one last stand that will ultimately lead to my death and immortality! -
Kevin’s Character Profiles Part 2
What I learned doing this assignment is that there is more to the story that’s interesting than I first imagined. It’s going to be fun to explore these characters deeper.
2. Fill in Part 2 of the character Profile for your two lead characters.
Batman
What draws us to this character? Relatable beaten down
person tired of being responsible and feeling the pressure of his role,
even though he’s been out of the spotlight and largely forgotten.
Traits: Rich, brilliant, worn out, out of shape,
dejected
Subtext: wants to be relevant again, but tired of the
job. Longs for adventure but doesn’t want to search for it.
Flaw: He’s gotten out of shape
Values: Virtue, Justice,
Irony: He is driven by revenge, even when he’s doing
good he’s still chasing ghosts
What makes this the right character for this role? He’s
Batman!The Joker
What draws us to this character? Sad sack. Fun and
funny. Erratic and unpredictable. Agent of chaos.
Traits: Tortured, ridiculed, brilliant but twisted.
Defeated and fed up
Subtext: Wants to end it all, but can’t take his own
life. Wants Batman to do it for him.
Flaw: He’s unhinged.
Values: Chaos, nothing else matters.
Irony: Even though he creates chaos to draw Batman out,
he doesn’t care about any of it any more.
What makes this the right character for this role? He’s
Batman’s arch enemy, even now. The one who always got away! -
Kevin’s Character Profiles Part 1
What I learned doing this assignment is that there is richness in this story and a lot of fun to be had!
2. Pick the type of role your Protagonist will play and give us a few sentences on how they will fulfill that role.
Batman – Hero
He will be forced into action after years of inaction and save Gotham from The Joker.
3. Pick the type of role your Antagonist will play and give us a few sentences on how they will fulfill that role.
The joker – Villain
He will be humiliated one too many times and come out of hiding after years of irrelevance to bait Batman into coming to find him and kill him.
4. What other characters might be necessary?
Supporting characters: Commissioner Gordon, Arthur’s niece,
Bruce Wayne’s new butler
Minor roles: Police, Henchmen
Background characters: Citizens in peril5. Pick your genre.
Action Comedy
6. Fill in whatever answers come to you about your lead character profiles.
Role in the story: Batman and Joker – arch enemies
Age range and Description: Past retirement, desperateMotivation: Batman – quest for relevance, Joker – need
for peace and finality.
Wound: Batman – loneliness, Joker – despair from lack
of being relevant or seen.
Mission/Agenda: Joker – to be done with this life,
Batman – to save Gotham and become relevant
Secret: Batman wants to save Joker.
What makes them special? Both are old and out of the
memory of the culture and are on a final quest for relevance. -
Kevin’s Transformational Journey
What I learned doing this assignment is I’m much like my main character and hopefully can join him on his transformational journey!
2. Who is your Hero and what is their Character Arc that represents a transformation?
Batman: Age 65
Internal Journey: From tired old man to invigorated super hero
External Journey: From Retiree with no will to live, to super hero who saves Gotham once again.
3. What are the Old Ways and New Ways?
Old Ways
Sitting around waiting for things to happen for him
Frustrated, ordering people around
sad and dejected with life
New Ways
Energized and ready to reengage.
Interested in being fit
looking for ways to help humanity again
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Hey all, Kevin Ash here. I’ve written a dozen or so screenplays, more stage plays, had several optioned, a few writing assignments, and am trying to finally write a film that’s been brewing for a decade. I’ve taken many SU courses and am a Hal champion! I’m pretty sad about the Dolphins right now, even though it’s early in the game… so I’ll change the subject. I also teach film and theatre in a private school and am looking ahead to my retirement to Hawaii within the next 5 years… let’s sell this one and make it this year! 🙂
Oh yeah, I am on my 4th career. Started as an actor in NYC, member of SAG/AFTRA and AEA, became a director and designer in theatre, then an Artistic Director of 2 professional theaters and a film producer, and now teaching. Screenwriting and producing will be next.
Reply
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This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by Kevin Ash.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by
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I, Kevin Ash, agree to the terms of this release form.
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
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Module 3 Lesson 4
· Kevin Ash’s Character Intrigue
· Vision: I will be living in paradise, writing prolifically at my leisure, respected and sought after for my interesting and thought provoking films.
What I learned from doing this assignment is my characters have the subtext built in. I will try to find other ways to increase the intrigue, but as addicts, there are inherent deception and hidden agendas at all times when dealing with life.
Evan:
Protagonist:
Deception Hidden agenda Secrets, unspoken wound. He hides his addiction from family and certain friends while hiding his other life to the drug underworld. His secrets include drug addiction, his relationships, his unborn baby. His hidden agenda is to become an artist, music runs his world.
Dane:
Antagonist:
Deception, Hidden agenda, unspoken wound, secrets. His deception is to keep his alcoholism from his son, his wound is that his son is becoming like him, his agenda is to stop his son’s addiction while hiding his own. His secrets are keeping the truth from his family about everything.
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Module 3 Lesson 3
· Kevin Ash’s Subtext Characters
· Vision: I will be living in paradise, writing prolifically at my leisure, respected and sought after for my interesting and thought provoking films.
What I learned from doing this assignment is my characters have opposing underlying personalities but similar traits and subtext underneath. Both are driven by the same demons and act out on it in similar ways. Mirrors of each other essentially.
2. With your example movie, give us the following answers for the character with the most subtext:
Movie Title: Lethal Weapon
Character Name: Riggs
Subtext Identity: A detective who is addicted to
adrenaline
Subtext Trait: unpredictable, outrageous
Subtext Logline: Rigs is a detective who is unpredictable
and gets results by outrageous means.
Possible Areas of Subtext: Has a deathwish. Doesn’t
care about himself or how he looks or acts. Engages in addictive behavior,
alcohol, adrenaline, falls in love and finally finds himself again.3. For your two leads, brainstorm these answers:
Character Name: Evan / Dane
Subtext Identity: A student/young man who can’t
reconcile his need for love with the love he receives / A father who would
give anything for his son to not fall into his patterns to no avail.
Subtext Trait: demonized, tortured / demonized,
tortured
Subtext Logline: Evan is a young man who wants
desperately to help others at all costs only to have addiction get in his
way. / Dane is a caring father who fights to save his son from his
addictions but ends up enabling him in the process
Possible Areas of Subtext: Drinking, doing drugs,
getting into a stupor and shutting himself away, doing outrageous things
to help others without regard for own safety / Drinking, stifling with rules,
strict, tries to mold son out of his image while driving him directly into
it. -
Module 3 Lesson 2
· Kevin Ash’s Actor Attractors!
· Vision: I will be living in paradise, writing prolifically at my leisure, respected and sought after for my interesting and thought provoking films.
What I learned from doing this assignment is I really love the character and think he’d be a great character to play (actually both leads would be) and the character profile is probably much closer to Lethal Weapon than Steel Magnolias for the main protagonist, but the other way around for the antagonist/father.
Lead Character Name:
EvanRole: (Protagonist or
Antagonist) Protagonist1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?
Wild child who constantly has fun in all he does, has lots of stunt opportunities, ultimately changes the world for better.
2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?
He is the most interesting. He gets to drive fast, takes risks to help others without regard to self, he acts on impulse and instinct, always getting into trouble. Ultimately gets it all together just in time to self destruct.
3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?
Saving a friend by throwing himself at bullies, going on a joyride and destroying property and vehicle, playing hooky, skinny dipping in neighbor’s pool, climbing redwood trees.
4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
Showing fight and ultimate action that leads to his death, trying to save a friend from making a terrible mistake.
5. What could be this character’s emotional raige?
From introverted, thoughtful soul, to wild man, acting out in public, being a loose cannon, to anger filled tirades, to happy go lucky. Manic.
6. What subtext can the actor play?
Subtext is all over the place with this character and with his father. He wants to do right and be controlled but can’t stop himself, plays to whatever audience is there, but underneath is tortured.
7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?
Girlfriend who gets pregnant, tells him it’s his, he tries to save her from an abusive household, his father who is also an alcoholic and tries to save his son, but ends up enabling him, leading him down the same paths. His family who adore him for the person they see on the outside, not seeing the tortured soul
8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?
Through the contrast between his own outward joy and selfless acts, and his inner demons taking over his thoughts and actions.
9. What could make this character special and unique?
His charisma and wild antics contrasted with his inner demons and darkness driving him to selfless acts and crazy actions.
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Module 3 Lesson 1
· Kevin Ash’s Actor Attractors for Steel Magnolias
· Vision: I will be living in paradise, writing prolifically at my leisure, respected and sought after for my interesting and thought provoking films.
What I learned from doing this assignment is that it’s really difficult to find a comp that meets this criteria for my film. That’s probably a good thing.
Movie Title: Steel Magnolias
Lead Character Name: Shelby
1. Why would an actor WANT to be known for this role?
Complex role with high drama
2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in the movie?
She gets to chew up the scenery while staying vulnerable and likable.
3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead takes in the movie?
Goes into insulin shock, embroiled in emotionally traumatizing situation, suffers a coma and dies
4. How is this character introduced that could sell it to an actor?
Wedding day, has hypoglycemic attack getting her hair done.
5. What is this character’s emotional range?
From sweet and innocent, a victim to strong but ready to die.
6. What subtext can the actor play?
All over the place. She wants to get married, but doesn’t feel she should because she can’t have children, then gets pregnant but has doubts about the baby’s health, then baby has kidney failure, thinks it’s all her fault.
7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character has? She and her mother, who dotes on her, her fiancé, who she has second thoughts about marrying, then her child who is born anyway and the dynamics between her husband and family.
8. How is this character’s unique voice presented? Through the opening on her wedding day, before when she’s irreverent and confident to her doubt filled private life, to her attack and the severe underlying doubt brought about by it.
9. What makes this character special and unique? Her medical condition which runs her decision making and guilt.
10. (Fill in a scene that shows the character fulfilling much of the Actor Attractor model.)
The opening scene follows her preparation for the wedding, her encounter with her fiancé in which she nearly calls off the wedding again, through her attack at the beauty parlor and remorse after the attack. Sums her up in a relentless gauntlet of emotional and subtext filled existence.
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This reply was modified 3 years ago by Kevin Ash.
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This reply was modified 3 years ago by
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Module 2 Lesson 6
· Kevin Ash’s Genre Conventions
· Vision: I will be living in paradise, writing prolifically at my leisure, respected and sought after for my interesting and thought provoking films.
What I learned from doing this assignment is his story is so filled with dramatic events it’s both easy and hard to fill it with drama… trying to figure out how to deliver it has been the hardest part.
2. Tell us the following:
Title: Design Your Mind
Concept: The true story of a loose cannon, Evan, who battled addiction for years and won against all odds with the help of his father, inspiring all those around him, after his tragic death at 21.
Genre: Drama
3. CONVENTIONS OF DRAMA
PURPOSE: To explore stories with emotional and interpersonal high stakes
for their characters.
CHARACTER-DRIVEN JOURNEY: We always need to care about the
characters in a Drama, and their internal journey drives the film’s events
and progression.
HIGH STAKES COME FROM WITHIN: Whether the story’s events are
relatively mundane or intense, the struggles, obstacles, and stakes comes
from within the characters more than from external pressures.
EMOTIONALLY RESONATES: Drama audiences want to feel and be moved
by the characters’ emotions and how they experience the events.
CHALLENGING, EMOTIONALLY-CHARGED SITUATIONS: Characters get
challenged to their core by the emotional situations and struggles that they
run into.
REAL-LIFE SITUATIONS: Drama stories are grounded in reality.
Act 1:
Opening: Evan is 21, grabbing the hood of a car looking
at the camera, laughing but yelling at the driver to stop the car. The
driver behind him laughing, suddenly gets serious and slams on her breaks.
He is jettisoned off the hood.
Inciting Incident: After seeing Evan as a wild child he
is on a cruise at 9 and is handed a beer by an attendant.
Turning Point: He drives around the neighborhood with
friends grabbing hidden stashes of alcohol from bushes when caught by
police. Retrieved from jail by father.Act 2:
New plan: Parents send him to rehab for minors, gets
sober
Plan in action: Talking about stars and philosophy with
father. Bothe are drinking and talking about how to control your addictions.
Midpoint Turning Point: Father has serious incident
with hard liquor and ends up in rehab. Evan witnesses this.Act 3:
Rethink everything: Decides he can handle his alcoholism
by himself, leaves home as soon as he can, moves in with friends.
New plan: Sequesters himself in apartment, never leaving,
gets heavy into art, music, only comes out when forced for family events.
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: Found in
stupor in apartment, shell of himself. Family forcefully remove him.Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Enrolled in
immersive program living with strangers.
Resolution: Comes out of program, goes on spiritual
journey discovering himself and philosophy… ends up trying to save
ex-girlfriend from abusive family relationship because she’s pregnant and
tells him it’s his, ends up flying off of hood of car, hits head on curb
and dies. – (maybe start with funeral scene, maybe donors being given
second chance, or show funeral – balloon release, stats and photos here. -
· Kevin Ash’s 4 Act Transformational Structure
· Vision: I will be living in paradise, writing prolifically at my leisure, respected and sought after for my interesting and thought provoking films.
What I learned from doing this assignment is this needs tweaking and maybe reorganization, complex story. But it’s a start.
2. Give us the following:
· Concept: The true story of a loose cannon, Evan, who battled addiction for years and won against all odds with the help of his father, inspiring all those around him, after his tragic death at 21.
Main Conflict: Evan acting on his instincts and
brilliance only to let substance abuse derail his agenda every time.
Old Ways: Only
thinking of selfCausing damage to property
Ignoring authority
Being recklessNew Ways: Thinking mainly of others
Developing a philosophy
Becoming a thoughtful artist
Helping others to overcome personal doubt3. Fill in each of these with the answers you have right now.
Act 1:
Opening: Evan having great times and winning over
everyone around him.
Inciting Incident: Introduction to alcohol at age 9
Turning Point: Near fatal car crash at age 14 after
huffingAct 2:
New plan: goes into rehab, gets sober
Plan in action: drinking with his father talking about
addiction and controlling it.
Midpoint Turning Point: Getting into harder drugs with
girlfriend, serious consequences.Act 3:
Rethink everything: Decides he can handle his alcoholism
by himself
New plan: Goes off on his own and disappears into
music/art
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: Found in
stupor in apartment, shell of himself. (suicidal?)Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Enrolled in
immersive program living with strangers.
Resolution: Comes out of program, goes on spiritual
journey discovering himself and philosophy… ends up trying to help ex
girlfriend, dying because of it accidentally, organ donor saves 22 others.
(?) -
· Kevin Ash’s Subtext Plot
· Vision: I will be living in paradise, writing prolifically at my leisure, respected and sought after for my interesting and thought provoking films.
What I learned from doing this assignment is the subtext of my character is clear, but the subtext of the entire plot is still a bit confusing to me. There are a couple of ways to try and play it:
Someone Hides Who They are; This would be Evan hiding his addictions from himself. It would play out over the course of many events where he acts on his addictions and it manifests in mishaps that are dangerous and scary.
Superior Position: This would be easiest with the father figure who is constantly trying to save his son from his addictions while not noticing his own.
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· Kevin Ash’s Transformational Journey
· Vision: I will be living in paradise, writing prolifically at my leisure, respected and sought after for my interesting and thought provoking films.
What I learned from doing this assignment is I have a very clear picture of my protagonist’s journey, but not really clear on how I’ll do this for the antagonist.
Tell us the Character Arc for your Protagonist:
Arc Beginning: Wild child causing chaos
Arc Ending: Guru to those around him, choosing others
over selfGive us their Internal/External Journey.
Internal Journey: From wild, irreverent, and random to
determined and intentional
External Journey: Acting out everywhere with abandon to
being a hero and guru to othersTell us their Old Ways at the beginning of the movie and their New Ways at the end.
Old Ways: Only
thinking of selfCausing damage to property
Ignoring authority
Being recklessNew Ways: Thinking mainly of others
Developing a philosophy
Becoming a thoughtful artist
Helping others to overcome personal doubt -
· Kevin Ash’s Intentional Lead Characters
· Vision: I will be living in paradise, writing prolifically at my leisure, respected and sought after for my interesting and thought provoking films.
· What I learned from doing this assignment is with an antagonist like alcohol and Drug addiction, the other lead character can be sharing his fight.
· Concept: The true story of a loose cannon, Evan, who battled addiction for years and won against all odds with the help of his father, inspiring all those around him, after his tragic death at 21.
· Character: Evan – a captivating enigmatic youth, who inspired all around him while battling an alcohol and drug addiction which he overcomes, only to die tragically.
· Character: Father – Evan’s father, who fought the courageous battle of Evan’s champion through all adversity and against Evan’s will until finally helping him to sobriety, only to lose him to a tragic accident.
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· Kevin Ash’s Title Concept and Character Structure!
· Vision: I will be living in paradise, writing prolifically at my leisure, respected and sought after for my interesting and thought provoking films.
· What I learned from doing this assignment is I don’t think these structures fit my film, but I will try to fit it into one.
· Title: Design Your Mind
· Concept: The true story of my cousin’s son who battled addiction for years and won, inspiring all those around him, only to tragically die just when it all comes together.
· Character Structure: Protagonist vs. Antagonist
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Hello all,
My name is Kevin Ash. I’ve written a dozen or so screenplays and over 20 plays. All my plays have been produced, and several of my screenplays were optioned, several others were commissioned, and a few of my shorts have been produced, still waiting on a couple features that are in pre-production – who knows…
I plan to get a couple of the scripts written that have been on my to do list for several years, at least one of them, and to remind myself of all the techniques and tips that we went over in MSC and Bingeworthy and to build on those… to write even more incredible movies!
I’ve had 3 careers thus far, and am nearing the end of the third, the fourth is to be a full time professional screenwriter and this is prep for that! I began as an actor in theatre/film/tv and am a member of SAG/AFTRA and AEA, the second was as a producer/designer/director of a regional theatre – a member of DGA, and the third is teaching film and theatre in a private school. I look forward to the next part of the journey, and honing my skills with you all! WGA here I come! 🙂
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This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by Kevin Ash.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by
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This is Kevin Ash. I agree to the terms of this release form as follows:
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As a member of Writing Incredible Movies, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, through social media, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, videos, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
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Congrats!!
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Thanks Bobby, just now reading replies, great to be in class with you again too! Sorry I’ve had a death in the immediate family so just posting as I can as we pick up the pieces. this could be a movie in itself, she went in for emergency surgery, only to come out on the other side, go into rehab, doing well until she had to go into another emergency surgery that she never recovered from. Not to be maudlin, just explaining.