Kimberly Jentzen
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Kimberly Jentzden Character Profiles
What I’m learning is that this exercise helped tremendously and took a while to process, but it actually improves the story because I discovered aspects that make them more fun and interesting.
A. Name: Ella Heart (working name) age 16. Role in the Story: She is the unlikely hero that brings Bully Canary to justice.C. Core Traits: Uptight proper baker attempting to be good, clumsy, very girly, temperamental, has a lot to say, chef, impatient, can’t shoot a gun worth a nickel. D. Motivation: Want/Need: Want = to be courageous enough to bring Bully the kid Canary to justice. Need = To know that she is worthy to live, even though her mother died. E. Flaw/Wound: Flaw = fearful and has low self-view. Doesn’t feel good enough. Wound = Ella killed her mother in childbirth. Mother was supposed to have a son, not another daughter. She had twins. Ella was the daughter. Father dies in Appomattox. F. Secret/Hidden Agenda: Secret Hidden Agenda = To get her sister to forgive her and be family.G. Internal Dilemma: Forgiving herself for losing her family.H. What makes this character perfect for their role in this story? No one would believe this 85 lb 16-year old could ever take on Bully Canary. A. <div>
Name: Dusk Heart (Working last name) age 19. Role in the Story: Sister to Ella – Ended up in the orphanage only to run away and join the Civil War effort. C. Core Traits: Sullen, mysterious, wild, quiet, rebel, violent, sharp shooter, warm interior, cool exterior, always underestimated because she’s a girl.D. Motivation: Want/Need: Want = escape the nightmares of the war and find freedom. Need = belongingE. Flaw/Wound: Flaw = distrust. Wound = Mother dies in childbirth of her twin siblings and Dusk can’t forgive Ella or Beau. Then they’re split up and sent to different locations to grow up.F. Secret/Hidden Agenda: Secret = Never really ever killed anyone, just her reputation always proceeds her. She maintained the horses in the war, and helped them when they were injured. After all, girls weren’t allowed to fight.
Hidden Agenda she really wants to have a cattle ranch and be a cow girl.<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>G. Internal Dilemma: Lacks trust. Learning to depend on another. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>H. What makes this character perfect for their role in this story? She’s someone who can train Ella, she’s clever and learned how to survive in a rugged environment with mean soldiers who were dying of dysentery, too. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>A.
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Name: Bully CanaryB. Role in the Story: Antagonist and bandit that is a murderer and robber. Starts as resentful and bitter stagehand. C. Core Traits: selfish, greedy, angry, wants revenge, has a sweet tooth which he’ll do anything to satisfy D. Motivation: Want/Need: Want = to live like a king and have a hotel that caters to high society in the West. Need = to learn you don’t get there by stealing and murdering. E. Flaw/Wound: Flaw = takes everything personally and is quick to kill. Wound = Born out of poverty – always hungry. F. Secret/Hidden Agenda: Secret = Mother didn’t want him. Hidden Agenda = to be the kingpin of the culinary West. Then it becomes to kidnap Ella and get her to cook for him. G. Internal Dilemma: Will I always be hungry? H. What makes this character perfect for their role in this story? Dangerous villain for any baker or chef.
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Kimberly Jentzen Genre Conventions
It’s getting more defined and the blank spaces are beginning to get filled in. I noticed a weak section and will continue to brainstorm.
Thank you!
Kimberly
1. Tell us the following:
Title: Chasing Dusk
Concept: A fearful baker learns how to summon her courage to face off the notorious bandit Bully Canary with the help of her long lost sister, Dusk
Genre: Action
2. Make a list of the conventions for your chosen genre, like this:
Example for Action:
Purpose: Adrenaline-stirring / fast paced: Must find Dusk to get Bully Canary before he murders another victim
Demand for Action: Bully Canary murders Ella and Dusk’s brother
Mission: To find Bully Canary and bring him to justice
Escalating Action: Reports that he’s the meanest murderer in the West. News spreads like wild fire that no one is safe especially bad cooks. He’s murdered every bad cook West of the Mississippi. Ella takes a job at the Rattlesnake Inn to catch him.
Hero: Ella and Dusk
Antagonist: Bully Canary
1. Give us the following:
Title: Chasing DuskGenre: ActionConcept: A fearful baker learns how to summon her courage to face off the notorious bandit Bully Canary with the help of her long lost sister, Dusk
Main Conflict: Ella’s determined but doesn’t believe she’s as brave as Dusk and needs Dusk to teach her how to fight so she can face off the man who killed their brother.
2. Fill in each of these with the answers you have right now.
Act 1:
Opening: Ella is serving soup at the Theatre. Ella is used as a temporary sandbag for the theatre’s fly system.
Inciting Incident: Theatre fire – Bully Canary kills brother
Turning Point – Grandpa dies, but with just enough time to tell Ella to find Dusk. Ella and Canary have an encounter at the bakery – Bully holds the bakery up for cake and biscuits. Ella gets the biscuit recipe. Bully threatens Ella and kills the baker who made the cake cause it was too dry.
Act 2:
New plan – Ella takes a train, encounters Dusk who warns her of the evils of killing – Dusk was in the Civil War. Dusk goes West with the Wild Bill Hickok show. Then Ella takes a wagon, then a balloon and encounters Dusk who evades her again and Dusk quits the show. Then Ella takes a mule and makes it to the Rattlesnake Inn as…
Plan in action – Dusk happens to be bringing in a dead bad man (who had accidentally shot himself) and Dusk gets assigned bounty hunter. Ella finally gets Dusk to teach her to shoot, throw knives and to use her iron skillet as a weapon.
Midpoint Turning Point – Dusk reveals that she’s never killed anyone
Act 3:
Rethink everything – Ella gets a gig at the Rattlesnake Inn. They will capture him.
New plan – Ella and Dusk purchase rope and determine they’ll take him to the crowbar hotel. Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift — Bully Canary comes and steals Ella’s cakes and goes to rob the bank, both Ella and Dusk catch him, but he escapes. The cakes though are very moist — and now he can’t stop thinking about Ella and her baking.
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Ella is kidnapped to be Canary’s slave cook. Dusk goes after Canary to save her. The town gets involved. Resolution – Together Dusk and Ella take Bully Canary in for good.
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Kimberly Jentzen 4 Act Structure
I’ve been working on this and forgot to submit it. When I didn’t get my lesson today, I decided to catch up my submissions.
I’m learning structure!!! Yay! A structure system that makes sense to me. I used to do page counts of what was supposed to happen. That’s all I could figure out from all the other training I had past received. Hal, you are brilliant!!! It’s liberating!
1. Give us the following:
Title: Chasing DuskGenre: Action <div>
Concept: A fearful baker learns how to summon her courage to face off the notorious bandit Bully Canary with the help of her long lost sister, Dusk
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Main Conflict: Ella’s determined but doesn’t believe she’s as brave as Dusk and needs Dusk to teach her how to fight so she can face off the man who killed their brother.
2. Fill in each of these with the answers you have right now.
Act 1:
Opening: Ella is serving soup at the Theatre. Ella is used as a temporary sandbag for the theatre’s fly system. </div>
Inciting Incident: Theatre fire – Bully Canary kills Ella’s brother
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Turning Point – Grandpa dies upon hearing the news, but with enough time to tell her to find Dusk
Act 2:
New plan – takes a train, then a wagon, then a balloon, then a mule</div><div>
Plan in action – Dusk is bringing in a dead bad man (who had accidentally shot himself dead) and she gets assigned bounty hunter. Ella finally gets Dusk to teach her to shoot and fight
Midpoint Turning Point – Dusk reveals that she’s never killed anyone
Act 3:
Rethink everything – Ella gets a gig at the Rattlesnake Inn. They will capture him. </div><div>
New plan – Ella and Dusk purchase rope and determine they’ll take him to the crowbar hotel. Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift — Bully Canary comes and steals Ella’s cakes and goes to rob the bank both Ella and Dusk catch him, but he escapes.
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Ella is kidnapped to be Canary’s slave cook. Dusk goes after Canary to save her. The town get’s involved. </div>
Resolution – Together Dusk and Ella take Bully Canary in for good.
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What I learned doing this assignment is how to build structure for a script out of the convention of the genre. Huge breakthrough that brought an overall rewrite that I was searching for.
A. Genre: ACTION ADVENTURE
B. Title: CHASING DUSK
C. High Concept: Two adversaries in search of family will discover that they really are sisters
D. Main Conflict: Hunting the bandit, Bully Ray that keeps robbing and killing, to bring him and his posse to justice
E. Transformational Journey: Learning to forgive and depend on another.
F. Opposition: Two orphans must work together to defeat the bandit Bully Ray
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Hi I’m Kimberly Jentzen — I look forward to meeting and working with all of you! I really look forward to all the growth as well as completing a rewrite on a script that has my heart. I’ve written more than 10 scripts, 5 have been produced, one “story by” credit and 3 books. What’s strange about me is that I’m a cat whisperer. I’ve helped several friends with their cats. I’m not a cat person, I only have one feral that I feed because she was hungry for the last 10 years. I’m just very passionate about all animals, especially, obviously… wild ones.
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I Kimberly Jentzen, as a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.