[Lawrence Fraly]

Larry Fraller’s Creating Irony!

What I learned doing this assignment is to really let loose, knowing AI will back me up and corral me if need be.

Assignment 1

The Diplomat

When Hal answers the phone after he sees the explosion on the ship, Kate assumes that Hal’s the one they want to be ambassador to UK. But it’s her.

Hal acts as ambassador when he’s not. Revealed during newscast.

Kate tells Trowbridge to bomb Russia, but it’s a bluff to make him see the real danger of his extreme rhetoric.

We know Kate’s being groomed for VP, but she doesn’t know it.

Margaret appears to be Trowbridge’s adversary, but she’s his confidante.

Assignment 2

My Show

My ideas for irony for my show.

–Bella appears to love Marco, while she’s scheming to steal from him.

–While Bella’s scheming to steal from Marco, she falls in love with him.

–Carlita is an active member of the Sierra Club, but her purpose is to sabotage their efforts to protect the Everglades from oil exploration.

–Alex used to be Alice.

–Roofie’s grandfather had original rights to the well, but lost them gambling at nine ball with Marco’s grandfather, who cheated him.

–Roofie is a veteran SEAL who was dishonorably discharged for disregarding the lives of civilians during a mission.

–Carlita owns a mansion from early-day Florida, but we find out it’s a rundown rooming house.

–Carlita’s two lawyers each thinks theirs is the only well…one well in the Great Cypress Swamp, the other buried under a warehouse near Naples.

–The warehouse that’s built over the second well is the clearing house for a weapons manufacturer owned by a Chinese billionaire—operated by Marinda.

–The weapons are mini-drones equipped with high powered lasers, shipped to Cuba via the Caymans.

FROM AI that I like

CHARACTER IRONY

The street musician, usually associated with freedom and spontaneity, becomes entrapped in a web of deception orchestrated by the seemingly ordinary mom.

RELATIONSHIP

The street musician and the mom develop a genuine romantic connection despite the initial deception and ulterior motives.

DIALOGUE

The mom uses seemingly innocent and mundane conversations to extract crucial information from the street musician and his mother without them realizing.

DRAMATIC

As the families clash over the scandal, viewers are aware of hidden alliances and motives, adding complexity to the unfolding drama.

TOTAL AI GENERATED IRONIES

I’m going to give you the [concept] in which the mom marries the street musician and has a baby by him, [lead characters], and [main conflict] for my TV Series in [Format/Genre] and I’d like you to brainstorm forms of [irony] that could show up in the show.

IRONY = Put two opposites together in a meaningful way. Those opposites could be on any of these levels: Plot, character, relationships, situations, cover-ups, layers, actions, dialogue, or dramatic irony where the audience knows something one or more of the characters don’t or other forms of irony that meet the definition.

Format/Genre = crime drama

Concept = a mom schemes with her ex- to steal from a street musician and his controlling mother the rights to a secret, capped oil well in the Everglades

Main conflict = two families clash over a decades-old scandal

Lead Characters = the mom, her ex-, the street musician, his controlling mother

ChatGPT

ChatGPT

Certainly, let’s explore some forms of irony for your crime drama TV series:

1. Character Irony:

· The street musician, usually associated with freedom and spontaneity, becomes entrapped in a web of deception orchestrated by the seemingly ordinary mom.

· The controlling mother, who is accustomed to manipulating situations, finds herself unable to control the unfolding events as the mom and her ex- outsmart her.

2. Relationship Irony:

· The mom and her ex- maintain a facade of an amicable co-parenting relationship while secretly plotting against the street musician and his mother.

· The street musician and the mom develop a genuine romantic connection despite the initial deception and ulterior motives.

3. Situational Irony:

· The capped oil well, symbolizing hidden wealth, becomes both the source of conflict and an unexpected bond between the two families.

· The street musician, who performs in public spaces, ends up being connected to a secretive and valuable resource in the Everglades.

4. Dialogue Irony:

· The mom uses seemingly innocent and mundane conversations to extract crucial information from the street musician and his mother without them realizing.

· The ex- employs double entendres and cryptic language, revealing his true intentions only to those who are keen enough to decipher his words.

5. Plot Irony:

· The mom, initially portrayed as an average woman, turns out to be a mastermind orchestrating an elaborate scheme.

· The audience discovers early on the true nature of the oil well, creating dramatic irony as characters remain oblivious to its significance.

6. Dramatic Irony:

· The audience knows about the scam from the beginning, but the characters remain blissfully unaware, creating suspense and anticipation.

· As the families clash over the scandal, viewers are aware of hidden alliances and motives, adding complexity to the unfolding drama.

7. Action Irony:

· The mom, who is typically associated with nurturing and protection, engages in actions that are manipulative and deceitful.

· The street musician, known for his openness and vulnerability in his music, takes unexpected and calculated actions to protect his family’s secret.

8. Irony of Cover-ups:

· The controlling mother attempts to conceal her family’s involvement in the scandal, only to be exposed by the seemingly ordinary mom who is adept at concealing her true intentions.

By incorporating these forms of irony, you can add layers of complexity and intrigue to your crime drama TV series, making it engaging for the audience.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Larry Fraller’s Big Picture Loops

What I learned doing this assignment is to not freak out if I can’t figure something out. AI will help me figure things out. When I get bogged down in detail, AI helps me see the bigger picture.

Assignment 1

DIPLOMAT

Goals:

learn to be ambassador

divorce Hal

Major problems

ambassador to UK – doesn’t want it, doesn’t know the protocols

who did the explosion

Consequences

UK have her bypass the sec of state who is her boss

sec of state can’t stand Hal

Solving problems

major problem – stopping a war

trying to solve who attacked the ship

major change – has to deal with high society and top authorities

previous solutions cause new problems–she’s used to field work in a third world country concerning human rights

public image is everything to the Brits

Relationships

Her plan to divorce Hal is in peril.

new relationship with CIA station director

new relationship with UK foreign secretary

Danger/survival/risks:

has to work with CIA

if she fucks it up, there could be a war

MY STORY

Goal Eddie and Sarah want to steal the oil well

Victoria wants to keep oil well secret, and definitely not let Sarah in on the secret

Consequences Will Sarah and Eddie get caught

What will Victoria do to stop the scheme

Victoria’s already killed one of Eddie’s girlfriends

Solving problems

Can Sarah escape Eddie’s threats

Sarah’s major problem is Eddie

How can she keep her plans secret

She’s not used to acting for herself

Relationships

She plots to leave Eddie

Will she come clean with Daniel

Daniel despises Alex, can this be resolved

Victoria turns Alex against Sarah

Danger/survival/risks:

Sarah, Daniel and Eddie (her ex) haven’t the slightest idea the danger their in

Alex is beginning to see the bigger picture. What will he do about it?

Victoria’s the only one who knows the details of the well.

Victoria’s part of a larger group protecting/the well

Victoria has killed before, will she kill again.

The well contains poisonous gases which, if released, would cause widespread illness, death

AI Generated Loops

You

I’m writing a TV series that is [format/genre] about [concept] in which the mom marries the street musician and has a baby by him and [conflict] with [lead characters]. Can you generate [open loops] and setups that could play out over the course of season 1.

Definition of “open loops”: questions that can only be answered in future episodes. An open loop is a rhetorical device to instill curiousity by creating anticipation for what will come next.

open loops opportunities:

goals:

new goals?

goals related to the big picture?

crushed goals?

competition/conflict around goals?

consequences: are they going to be caught?

problems created from past actions?

good plans gone wrong?

solving problems:

what is the major problem for this character?

major change imposed on character?

what are they trying to solve?

major changes cause new problems?

previous solutions cause new problems?

relationships: relationships in peril?

new relationships forming?

conflict inside relationships?

relationships changing?

danger/survival/risks:

can they survive X?

putting themselves in danger/making dangerous decisions?

who else is pulled into their danger?

internal dangers (drug addiction, need for medicine, inner demons)?

format/genre = crime drama

concept = a mom and her ex scheme to steal from a street musician and his controlling mother the rights to a secret capped oil well in the Everglades.

conflict = control of the oil well and the ex-‘s threats of violence against the mom and the street musician lead

characters = the mom, her trans teen, her ex-, the musician, his mother

ChatGPT

Certainly! Here are some open loops, setups, and potential storylines for your crime drama TV series:

Goals:

1. New Goals:

· The mom discovers a hidden document that hints at another valuable resource in the Everglades. What is it, and how does it complicate their initial plan?

· The street musician starts pursuing a music career in a way that inadvertently puts the secrecy of the oil well at risk. Can they keep his new ambitions under control?

2. Goals Related to the Big Picture:

· The mom learns about a larger organization with interests in the Everglades, raising questions about who else might be after the oil well and why.

· The musician’s mother has a hidden agenda that involves a powerful figure in the city. How does this connection impact the power dynamics around the oil well?

3. Crushed Goals:

· The mom and her ex-face unexpected setbacks in stealing the rights to the oil well. What went wrong, and how do they adapt their plan?

· The musician’s dream of a music career hits a roadblock, leading him to reconsider his involvement in the oil well scheme.

4. Competition/Conflict Around Goals:

· A rival group discovers the mom and her ex-‘s plan and seeks to outmaneuver them. What are their motives, and how do they complicate the situation?

· The ex-‘s violent threats escalate, creating internal conflicts within the group and putting pressure on their alliance.

Consequences:

1. Are They Going to Be Caught?:

· A detective with a personal connection to the Everglades starts investigating, raising the stakes for the mom and her group.

· The musician’s mother hires a private investigator to dig into the background of the mom and her ex-. What secrets will be uncovered?

2. Problems Created From Past Actions:

· The mom’s past criminal activities resurface, leading to unexpected alliances and betrayals.

· The ex-‘s violent actions have consequences that extend beyond their immediate circle, attracting attention from law enforcement and criminal rivals.

3. Good Plans Gone Wrong:

· A seemingly foolproof plan to steal the rights to the oil well unravels due to an unforeseen complication. How do they salvage the situation?

Solving Problems:

1. Major Problem for This Character:

· The trans teen faces challenges related to their identity and the societal pressures in the crime-filled environment. How do they navigate these issues?

2. Major Change Imposed on Character:

· The mom is forced to make a difficult choice that jeopardizes her relationship with her child. How does this decision impact their future actions?

3. What Are They Trying to Solve?:

· The mom discovers a hidden message that suggests the oil well might have environmental consequences. How does this revelation affect their motives and alliances?

4. Major Changes Cause New Problems:

· A change in leadership within the criminal underworld introduces new conflicts and alliances, reshaping the dynamics around the oil well.

5. Previous Solutions Cause New Problems:

· The mom and her group successfully acquire the oil well but find themselves entangled in a web of corporate and political corruption. How do they navigate these treacherous waters?

Relationships:

1. Relationships in Peril:

· The mom’s relationship with the musician becomes strained as secrets and lies come to light. Can they overcome these challenges, or is their connection doomed?

2. New Relationships Forming:

· The trans teen forms a surprising alliance with someone from the musician’s past. How does this alliance impact the overall scheme?

3. Conflict Inside Relationships:

· The ex-‘s violent tendencies create tension within the group, leading to internal power struggles. Who emerges as the dominant force, and at what cost?

4. Relationships Changing:

· The musician’s mother begins to question her loyalty to her son, leading to unexpected alliances and betrayals.

Danger/Survival/Risks:

1. Can They Survive X?:

· The group faces a dangerous encounter in the Everglades that tests their survival skills and loyalty to each other.

2. Putting Themselves in Danger/Making Dangerous Decisions:

· The mom makes a risky deal with a dangerous figure to protect her family. How does this decision come back to haunt them?

3. Who Else Is Pulled Into Their Danger?:

· A charismatic activist becomes involved in their cause, attracting both supporters and enemies. How does their involvement change the dynamics of the conflict?

4. Internal Dangers (Drug Addiction, Need for Medicine, Inner Demons):

· The musician struggles with addiction, posing a threat to the success of their plan. Can they overcome these personal demons, or will it lead to their downfall?

These open loops and setups should provide a foundation for intricate and suspenseful storylines throughout Season 1 of your crime drama TV series.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Larry Fraller’s Big Picture Loops

What I learned doing this assignment is to not freak out if I can’t figure something out. AI will help me figure things out. When I get bogged down in detail, AI helps me see the bigger picture.

Assignment 1

DIPLOMAT

Goals:

learn to be ambassador

divorce Hal

Major problems

ambassador to UK – doesn’t want it, doesn’t know the protocols

who did the explosion

Consequences

UK have her bypass the sec of state who is her boss

sec of state can’t stand Hal

Solving problems

major problem – stopping a war

trying to solve who attacked the ship

major change – has to deal with high society and top authorities

previous solutions cause new problems–she’s used to field work in a third world country concerning human rights

public image is everything to the Brits

Relationships

Her plan to divorce Hal is in peril.

new relationship with CIA station director

new relationship with UK foreign secretary

Danger/survival/risks:

has to work with CIA

if she fucks it up, there could be a war

MY STORY

Goal Eddie and Sarah want to steal the oil well

Victoria wants to keep oil well secret, and definitely not let Sarah in on the secret

Consequences Will Sarah and Eddie get caught

What will Victoria do to stop the scheme

Victoria’s already killed one of Eddie’s girlfriends

Solving problems

Can Sarah escape Eddie’s threats

Sarah’s major problem is Eddie

How can she keep her plans secret

She’s not used to acting for herself

Relationships

She plots to leave Eddie

Will she come clean with Daniel

Daniel despises Alex, can this be resolved

Victoria turns Alex against Sarah

Danger/survival/risks:

Sarah, Daniel and Eddie (her ex) haven’t the slightest idea the danger their in

Alex is beginning to see the bigger picture. What will he do about it?

Victoria’s the only one who knows the details of the well.

Victoria’s part of a larger group protecting/the well

Victoria has killed before, will she kill again.

The well contains poisonous gases which, if released, would cause widespread illness, death

AI Generated Loops

You

I’m writing a TV series that is [format/genre] about [concept] in which the mom marries the street musician and has a baby by him and [conflict] with [lead characters]. Can you generate [open loops] and setups that could play out over the course of season 1.

Definition of “open loops”: questions that can only be answered in future episodes. An open loop is a rhetorical device to instill curiousity by creating anticipation for what will come next.

open loops opportunities:

goals:

new goals?

goals related to the big picture?

crushed goals?

competition/conflict around goals?

consequences: are they going to be caught?

problems created from past actions?

good plans gone wrong?

solving problems:

what is the major problem for this character?

major change imposed on character?

what are they trying to solve?

major changes cause new problems?

previous solutions cause new problems?

relationships: relationships in peril?

new relationships forming?

conflict inside relationships?

relationships changing?

danger/survival/risks:

can they survive X?

putting themselves in danger/making dangerous decisions?

who else is pulled into their danger?

internal dangers (drug addiction, need for medicine, inner demons)?

format/genre = crime drama

concept = a mom and her ex scheme to steal from a street musician and his controlling mother the rights to a secret capped oil well in the Everglades.

conflict = control of the oil well and the ex-‘s threats of violence against the mom and the street musician lead

characters = the mom, her trans teen, her ex-, the musician, his mother

ChatGPT

Certainly! Here are some open loops, setups, and potential storylines for your crime drama TV series:

Goals:

1. New Goals:

· The mom discovers a hidden document that hints at another valuable resource in the Everglades. What is it, and how does it complicate their initial plan?

· The street musician starts pursuing a music career in a way that inadvertently puts the secrecy of the oil well at risk. Can they keep his new ambitions under control?

2. Goals Related to the Big Picture:

· The mom learns about a larger organization with interests in the Everglades, raising questions about who else might be after the oil well and why.

· The musician’s mother has a hidden agenda that involves a powerful figure in the city. How does this connection impact the power dynamics around the oil well?

3. Crushed Goals:

· The mom and her ex-face unexpected setbacks in stealing the rights to the oil well. What went wrong, and how do they adapt their plan?

· The musician’s dream of a music career hits a roadblock, leading him to reconsider his involvement in the oil well scheme.

4. Competition/Conflict Around Goals:

· A rival group discovers the mom and her ex-‘s plan and seeks to outmaneuver them. What are their motives, and how do they complicate the situation?

· The ex-‘s violent threats escalate, creating internal conflicts within the group and putting pressure on their alliance.

Consequences:

1. Are They Going to Be Caught?:

· A detective with a personal connection to the Everglades starts investigating, raising the stakes for the mom and her group.

· The musician’s mother hires a private investigator to dig into the background of the mom and her ex-. What secrets will be uncovered?

2. Problems Created From Past Actions:

· The mom’s past criminal activities resurface, leading to unexpected alliances and betrayals.

· The ex-‘s violent actions have consequences that extend beyond their immediate circle, attracting attention from law enforcement and criminal rivals.

3. Good Plans Gone Wrong:

· A seemingly foolproof plan to steal the rights to the oil well unravels due to an unforeseen complication. How do they salvage the situation?

Solving Problems:

1. Major Problem for This Character:

· The trans teen faces challenges related to their identity and the societal pressures in the crime-filled environment. How do they navigate these issues?

2. Major Change Imposed on Character:

· The mom is forced to make a difficult choice that jeopardizes her relationship with her child. How does this decision impact their future actions?

3. What Are They Trying to Solve?:

· The mom discovers a hidden message that suggests the oil well might have environmental consequences. How does this revelation affect their motives and alliances?

4. Major Changes Cause New Problems:

· A change in leadership within the criminal underworld introduces new conflicts and alliances, reshaping the dynamics around the oil well.

5. Previous Solutions Cause New Problems:

· The mom and her group successfully acquire the oil well but find themselves entangled in a web of corporate and political corruption. How do they navigate these treacherous waters?

Relationships:

1. Relationships in Peril:

· The mom’s relationship with the musician becomes strained as secrets and lies come to light. Can they overcome these challenges, or is their connection doomed?

2. New Relationships Forming:

· The trans teen forms a surprising alliance with someone from the musician’s past. How does this alliance impact the overall scheme?

3. Conflict Inside Relationships:

· The ex-‘s violent tendencies create tension within the group, leading to internal power struggles. Who emerges as the dominant force, and at what cost?

4. Relationships Changing:

· The musician’s mother begins to question her loyalty to her son, leading to unexpected alliances and betrayals.

Danger/Survival/Risks:

1. Can They Survive X?:

· The group faces a dangerous encounter in the Everglades that tests their survival skills and loyalty to each other.

2. Putting Themselves in Danger/Making Dangerous Decisions:

· The mom makes a risky deal with a dangerous figure to protect her family. How does this decision come back to haunt them?

3. Who Else Is Pulled Into Their Danger?:

· A charismatic activist becomes involved in their cause, attracting both supporters and enemies. How does their involvement change the dynamics of the conflict?

4. Internal Dangers (Drug Addiction, Need for Medicine, Inner Demons):

· The musician struggles with addiction, posing a threat to the success of their plan. Can they overcome these personal demons, or will it lead to their downfall?

These open loops and setups should provide a foundation for intricate and suspenseful storylines throughout Season 1 of your crime drama TV series.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Larry Fraller’s Show Mysteries

What I learned from doing this lesson is how to build mystery into my plot and characters. AI blew me away with its suggestions, especially when I asked for new, specific information. Talk about fun! I found so many ideas of my own that dove tail nicely, such as Sarah’s ex- and his cousin go into the Glades to find the well. They accidentally cause the explosion. Or the cousin goes to the well as a double cross to get the oil for himself. The young woman in the car appear to be dead from exposure to the explosion, but that’s a cover up to be revealed as more information comes out about the well. etc.

ASSIGNMENT 1

MYSTERY 1

Shocking event opening the show in pilot: explosion of a British warship

Secret: who did it

Investigation: Kate and CIA and Hal and Hal’s contacts

MYSTERY 2

Cover up: Iran is the first and most obvious attacker

Secret: We don’t know who, but there are many possibilities, as clues come to the surface. A major aspect of the secret is us watching the politicians invent cover for the blast to the public.

Reveals: Clues so far are who did NOTattack the ship, but they’ve narrowed it down to a mercenary who appears to be Russian proxy.

ASSIGNMENT2

MYSTERY 1

Shocking event: Car with dead young woman inside pulled from canal off Tamiami Trail

Secret Who is she? There are no tire marks.

Investigation: Police determine she slid off the road into the canal. They find a two or three footprints, so they think someone else must have bailed out and got lost in the Glades. They search for the missing person, but of course, nothing pops up.

MYSTERY 2

Cover up Victoria is presented as a warm mother to Daniel who gushes over his flute music, and pushes him to get a music scholarship to the local music academy. Welcomes Sarah with open arms. Buys the baby some baby clothes.

Secret She keeps control over him so she can keep the oil well secret from him and everyone else.

Reveals She tries to smother the baby.

Sarah interrupts her just in time.

She threatens Sarah for neglecting the baby.

She instigates fight between Alex against Sarah.

She tries to kill Sarah.

WHO WHAT WHEN WHERE WHY & HOW Victoria killed the other girl because the girl was a real snoop and found D’s father’s diary, or ledger or something that described the capped oil well. A page is missing, torn out. But as the girl starts to trace over the marks to see what’s missing, she’s caught by Victoria, and dragged to her car. Victoria. Somehow Victoria renders the girl helpless and drives her to the canal on the trail, straps the seatbelt around the girl and plunges the car into the canal. Victoria walks a ways up the road and takes an Uber back home.

Part withheld:

AI GENERATED MYSTERIES

With this TV [concept] in which the mom marries the street musician and has a baby by him in [format/genre], and these [lead characters], give me a list of possible mysteries that could be created for Season 1.

Mystery Definition: The intriguing secret question, or puzzle that must be solved by the hero, often connected to high stakes and consequences for the main characters. format/genre = crime drama

concept = A mom and her ex- scheme to steal from a street musician and his controlling mother the rights to a secret capped oil well in the Everglades

lead characters = the mom, her ex-, her child with her ex-, her husband, her husband’s mother

ChatGPT____________________________

1. Mystery of the Capped Oil Well’s Location:

· The characters discover that the coordinates to the capped oil well are missing or incomplete. They must decipher a series of cryptic clues left by the street musician to locate the hidden well before others with malicious intent find it.

2. Identity of the Saboteur:

· Acts of sabotage begin to occur around the investigation, putting the characters in danger. The mystery revolves around uncovering the identity and motives of the saboteur trying to prevent the group from accessing the valuable oil well.

3. Double-Crossing Allies:

· The characters realize that some of their supposed allies have hidden agendas. They must navigate a web of deception and betrayal to determine who among them is secretly working against their interests.

4. Hidden Family Connections:

· Clues suggest that there might be deeper family connections between the characters than initially known. Uncovering these connections becomes crucial to understanding the full story behind the capped oil well and its significance.

5. The Enigmatic Past of the Street Musician:

· The street musician’s past holds secrets that could unlock the mystery of the capped oil well. Delving into his history, the characters unearth hidden relationships, old conflicts, and long-buried grudges that provide crucial clues.

6. Blackmail and Intrigue:

· Mysterious letters or messages surface, revealing that someone possesses damaging information about one of the lead characters. The team must race against time to identify the blackmailer and prevent the exposure of potentially ruinous secrets.

7. The Curse of the Oil Well:

· Locals speak of a curse surrounding the capped oil well, with strange occurrences and misfortunes befalling those who seek to exploit its resources. The characters must determine whether these events are mere superstition or if there’s a tangible threat connected to the well.

8. Missing Pieces of the Puzzle:

· Critical information related to the capped oil well is missing, hidden, or encrypted. The characters must follow a trail of breadcrumbs, solving puzzles and riddles to piece together the complete picture and understand the true nature of the well.

9. The Mother’s Secret Alliances:

· The mom’s past reveals unexpected alliances and affiliations that come to light. Unraveling the mystery of her connections becomes pivotal in understanding the complex web of interests surrounding the capped oil well.

10. Confrontation with the Controlling Mother:

· The controlling mother of the street musician proves to be a formidable adversary. The characters must investigate her past actions, business dealings, and personal connections to uncover her true motivations and potentially neutralize her influence.

You________________________

I’m going to provide [mystery 1] and [mystery 2] for my TV series about [concept] in which the mom marries the street musician and has a baby by him in [format/genre], and these [lead characters]. Please create them through [mystery strategy 1] and [mystery strategy 2].

Mystery Definition: The intriguing secret question, or puzzle that must be solved by the hero, often connected to high stakes and consequences for the main characters. mystery strategy 1 = For the opening shocking event mystery, please include:

A. shocking event:

B. secret:

C. investigation:

mystery strategy 2 = For ongoing over-time mystery, please include:

A. cover up:

B. secret:

C. reveals:

format/genre = crime drama

concept = A mom and her ex- scheme to steal from a street musician and his controlling mother a secret capped oil well in the Everglades.

lead characters = the mom, her ex-, her child with her ex-, her husband, her husband’s mother

mystery 1 =

mystery 2 =

ChatGPT_________________________

Mystery 1: Opening Shocking Event

A. Shocking Event:

· In the opening episode, during a seemingly routine visit to the Everglades to gather information about the capped oil well, a mysterious explosion occurs. The explosion destroys the entrance to the well, trapping the characters inside and cutting off their exit. It’s a shocking event that raises the stakes and puts their lives in immediate danger.

B. Secret:

· The investigation reveals that the explosion wasn’t accidental; someone deliberately set off the blast to prevent the characters from reaching the oil well. The secret lies in uncovering the identity of the saboteur and understanding their motives. The characters soon realize that the saboteur has a deep connection to the capped oil well and is determined to keep its secrets hidden.

C. Investigation:

· As the characters work to escape the Everglades and survive in the hostile environment, they begin piecing together the clues surrounding the explosion. The investigation leads them to hidden messages, coded maps, and a series of mysterious events from the past. Each revelation brings them closer to the truth about the capped oil well and the dangerous forces at play.

·

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Mystery 2: Ongoing Over-Time Mystery

A. Cover Up:

· Years before the events of the series, there was a failed attempt to extract oil from the well by a different group. The cover-up involves powerful individuals with a vested interest in maintaining the well’s secrecy. They manipulated records, silenced witnesses, and created a false narrative to divert attention away from the true potential of the well.

B. Secret:

· The ongoing mystery revolves around a hidden secondary reservoir beneath the primary capped well, containing a substance with unprecedented energy potential. The individuals orchestrating the cover-up are aware of this secondary reservoir but have kept it concealed to maintain control over the region’s energy resources. The characters slowly uncover this secret reservoir and realize its significance in the broader scheme of power and greed.

C. Reveals:

· Over time, the characters discover fragments of information that point to the existence of the secondary reservoir. Clues emerge from old documents, confidential informants, and cryptic messages. The reveals are gradual, leading the characters deeper into a conspiracy that involves not only the mom and her ex- but also influential figures who will stop at nothing to control the untapped energy source. As the characters unveil the layers of deception, they become entangled in a dangerous game where their actions could reshape the balance of power in the Everglades.

You­__________________________________

Assume the oil in that reservoir contains some kind of poison which only the husband’s mother knows about. Tell me about the poison, which is the real secret within the secret reservoir.

ChatGPT_____________________________

The Poisonous Secret Reservoir:

A. Nature of the Poison:

· The poison within the secret reservoir is a rare and lethal substance known as “Venomis Etherium.” It’s a naturally occurring toxin with properties that make it undetectable by conventional means. Exposure to Venomis Etherium leads to a slow and agonizing death, and its effects mimic common illnesses, making it challenging to diagnose.

B. Characteristics of Venomis Etherium:

· Venomis Etherium is colorless, odorless, and tasteless, making it nearly impossible to detect in water or other substances. It acts as a silent killer, affecting the nervous system and vital organs over an extended period. The poison is so potent that even a small dose can have devastating consequences, and its effects can be mistaken for natural causes.

C. The Husband’s Mother’s Knowledge:

· The controlling mother of the street musician, who has been guarding the secret reservoir for years, is the only person aware of the Venomis Etherium’s presence. She discovered the poison’s existence during an earlier failed attempt to exploit the well. Fearing the catastrophic consequences if the poison were unleashed, she chose to keep this information hidden, even from her own son.

D. Motivation for Secrecy:

· The husband’s mother believes that knowledge of Venomis Etherium could lead to chaos and exploitation. She fears that if the true nature of the poison becomes public, powerful entities might attempt to weaponize it or use it for nefarious purposes. Her silence is driven by a desire to protect the world from the potential devastation that could result from the misuse of Venomis Etherium.

E. Unraveling the Poisonous Secret:

· As the characters delve deeper into the mystery, they stumble upon clues hinting at the toxic nature of the reservoir. The husband’s mother becomes a key figure, guarding the knowledge of Venomis Etherium and ensuring that it remains concealed. Unraveling this poisonous secret becomes not only a matter of personal survival for the characters but also a race against time to prevent the catastrophic consequences of the poison falling into the wrong hands.

You______________________

Does the explosion in the shocking event of the pilot contain any of the poison? If so, what happens to the people exposed to the explosion? Who are those people? How far does the explosion reach? Is the explosion detected on any geological/meteorological instruments?

ChatGPT____________________________

Incorporating the Poison into the Shocking Event:

A. Presence of Poison in the Explosion:

· Yes, the explosion in the shocking event contains a dispersion of Venomis Etherium from the secret reservoir. The saboteur orchestrates the explosion to release a controlled amount of the poison into the air, ensuring that it reaches the characters trapped in the Everglades.

B. People Exposed to the Explosion:

· The main characters (the mom, her ex-, her child with her ex-, and her husband) are directly exposed to the poisonous fallout from the explosion. The saboteur, aware of the nature of Venomis Etherium, intends to use it not only as a means of hindering their progress but also as a tool to create confusion and panic among the group.

C. Effects on Those Exposed:

· The exposure to Venomis Etherium initially induces symptoms resembling a common cold or flu. However, as time progresses, the characters begin to experience more severe and life-threatening effects, including respiratory distress, organ failure, and hallucinations. The slow onset of symptoms adds a layer of suspense as the characters grapple with the mysterious illness.

D. Reach of the Explosion:

· The explosion’s reach is extensive, affecting a sizable area within the Everglades. The poisonous cloud, carried by the wind, spreads gradually, creating a danger zone that the characters must navigate. This not only heightens the urgency of their escape but also adds a ticking clock element to the unfolding mystery.

E. Detection on Instruments:

· The explosion and the release of Venomis Etherium go undetected on conventional geological and meteorological instruments. The poison’s unique properties make it elusive to standard detection methods, contributing to the challenge faced by the characters in identifying the source of their predicament. The lack of a clear external threat intensifies the mystery, as the characters must rely on their wits and resourcefulness to survive and unravel the secrets of the Everglades.

Top of Form

[Lawrence Fraly]

Larry Fraller’s Show Empathy/Distress.

What I learned doing this assignment is how much more I see in The Diplomat now that I know what to look for, mostly differences between big picture and situation. AI insights into adding depth to characters and plot that go hand-in-hand, but can be very vague.

ASSIGNMENT1

The Diplomat

KATE

Distress

Undeserved misfortune Appointed to a job where she’s way out of her element.

External character conflicts Hal keeps going behind her back. Dennison complains of her going behind his back. Sec of State can’t stand her or Hal, and he’s her boss!

Plot intrudes on life She can’t divorce Hal if she’s going to be VP

Moral Dilemma Using Hal to help with her job while wanting to be rid of him altogether.

Keeping her distance from Dennison, while being drawn to his charisma.

Forced decisions As sole representative of US, she has to make global decisions.

Empathy

Distress Has to learn on the job how to stop a war

Make her relatable Struggling with her marriage. She can’t trust her husband.

Universal experiences that are emotional Hal and half the people around her often don’t take her seriously. She has to watch her temper. She’s hot and cold with her marriage

ASSIGNMENT 2

SARAH

Distress

Undeserved misfortune constant threat of danger from her abusive ex-

External character conflicts Her husband’s mother despises her, her ex-

Plot intrudes on her life Marries the musician and has a baby—to inherit the oil well.

Moral dilemma Sarah falls in love with Daniel who despises her child she had with her ex who pleads with Sarah not to abandon him for Daniel

Forced decisions she’d never make Married and has baby so she can inherit the oil well

Empathy

Distress Daniel can’t accept her other child, Alex.

Relatable picks herself up when she gets knocked down, refuses help until she can’t go any further alone.

Universal experiences that are emotional She loves her abuser, and abuses the one who loves her – until she frees herself of both.

DANIEL

Distress

Undeserved misfortune conned into marriage and having a baby

external character conflicts Sarah’s ex

Plot intrude on life Stifles his music

Moral dilemma His art or his family or his mother

Forced decisions he’s never make Breaks away from his mother

Empathy

Distress Her other child

Relatable in over his head socially

Universal experiences that are emotional Learns to love his stepchild. Escapes S’s ex.

AI generated

I’m going to provide my TV series [format/genre], [concept] in which the mom marries the street musician and has a baby by him, and [conflict]. Can you give me ways to create [distress] and [empathy] for each of my [lead characters]? Please be detailed and provide unique and specific answers for each character in short sentences that are precise..

genre = crime drama

concept = a mom and her ex- scheme to steal from a street musician and his controlling mother the rights to a secret capped oil well in the Everglades

distress = A. undeserved misfortune

B. external character conflicts

C. plot intruding on life

D. moral dilemmas

E. forced decisions they’d never make

empathy = A. put them in distress

B. make them relatable

C. universal experiences that are emotional

format/genre = crime drama

concept = a mom and her ex- scheme to steal from a street musician and his controlling mother the rights to a secret capped oil well in the Everglades

conflict = control of the oil well and the ex-‘s threats of violence against the mom and the musician

lead characters = the mom, her ex-, the musician, his mother

ChatGPT

Lead Characters:

1. The Mom (Distress):

· A. Undeserved Misfortune: Uncover the mom’s tragic past, revealing that her life has been marked by hardships and betrayals, making her current situation feel like an undeserved continuation of her misfortunes.

· B. External Character Conflicts: Introduce a formidable adversary from her past who resurfaces, bringing external conflicts that force her to confront unresolved issues, complicating her life further.

· C. Plot Intruding on Life: Have her personal life invaded by the machinations of the oil well scheme, disrupting her attempts to build stability and happiness.

· D. Moral Dilemmas: Force her into morally ambiguous situations, where her choices impact not just her future but also the well-being of those she cares about.

· E. Forced Decisions They’d Never Make: Compel her to make choices that go against her principles, creating internal conflict and distress as she navigates the murky waters of crime and deceit.

Empathy for the Mom:

· A. Put Them in Distress: Showcase her vulnerabilities and struggles, highlighting the weight of her past and the challenges she faces in the present.

· B. Make Them Relatable: Establish common ground by portraying her as a person with dreams, regrets, and a deep desire for a better life.

· C. Universal Experiences: Connect her experiences to universal themes like the pursuit of redemption, love, and the struggle to break free from a cycle of hardship.

2. Her Ex- (Distress):

· A. Undeserved Misfortune: Reveal a personal tragedy in the ex-‘s past, humanizing him and creating sympathy even as he engages in nefarious schemes.

· B. External Character Conflicts: Introduce a powerful adversary who threatens the ex-‘s existence, making his involvement in the oil well plot a desperate bid for survival.

· C. Plot Intruding on Life: Demonstrate the personal sacrifices he makes for the scheme, emphasizing the toll it takes on his relationships and mental well-being.

· D. Moral Dilemmas: Present him with moral crossroads, forcing him to question the righteousness of his actions and grapple with the consequences.

· E. Forced Decisions They’d Never Make: Push him to make choices that go against his nature, creating internal turmoil as he becomes entangled in the criminal world.

Empathy for Her Ex-:

· A. Put Them in Distress: Reveal the emotional weight of his struggles, making it clear that his actions are born out of desperation rather than malice.

· B. Make Them Relatable: Explore his motivations and dreams, painting him as a person with flaws and vulnerabilities rather than a one-dimensional antagonist.

· C. Universal Experiences: Depict his yearning for redemption and a second chance, tapping into universal themes of forgiveness and the search for personal growth.

3. The Musician (Distress):

· A. Undeserved Misfortune: Uncover the musician’s past, exposing instances of betrayal and heartbreak that have left him emotionally scarred.

· B. External Character Conflicts: Introduce a rival musician who challenges the musician’s place in the street music scene, creating external conflicts that exacerbate his distress.

· C. Plot Intruding on Life: Portray the scheme’s impact on his artistic pursuits, as the oil well conflict disrupts his passion for music and artistic expression.

· D. Moral Dilemmas: Force him to grapple with ethical decisions that test the boundaries of his principles, causing inner turmoil.

· E. Forced Decisions They’d Never Make: Place him in situations that compromise his artistic integrity, highlighting the internal conflict between survival and staying true to his craft.

Empathy for the Musician:

· A. Put Them in Distress: Showcase the emotional toll of his past and present struggles, emphasizing the weight he carries as he navigates the dangerous world around him.

· B. Make Them Relatable: Explore his love for music and the solace it provides, making him a relatable character with dreams and aspirations.

· C. Universal Experiences: Connect his experiences to universal emotions like love, loss, and the pursuit of personal identity, fostering empathy from the audience.

4. His Mother (Distress):

· A. Undeserved Misfortune: Uncover a tragic event in the mother’s past that shaped her controlling demeanor, revealing a vulnerability that adds depth to her character.

· B. External Character Conflicts: Introduce a family rival or an old acquaintance who resurfaces, threatening the mother’s carefully maintained facade of control.

· C. Plot Intruding on Life: Demonstrate the strain the oil well conflict places on her relationship with her son, exposing the emotional toll of their shared secrets.

· D. Moral Dilemmas: Force her to confront the ethical implications of her actions, challenging her to reassess her commitment to preserving the family legacy.

· E. Forced Decisions They’d Never Make: Place her in situations that force her to question her authoritative stance, creating internal conflict as she grapples with the need for change.

Empathy for His Mother:

· A. Put Them in Distress: Reveal the emotional burdens she carries, shedding light on the reasons behind her controlling nature and fostering understanding.

· B. Make Them Relatable: Explore her motivations and fears, illustrating that she, too, is a complex individual with a history that shapes her present actions.

· C. Universal Experiences: Connect her struggles to universal themes of parental love, the fear of loss, and the desire to protect one’s family, making her a more sympathetic figure.

Top of Form

[Lawrence Fraly]

Larry Fraller’s Intriguing Character Layers

What I learned from doing this assignment is that I have to prompt AI with more precise instructions, which is hard to do and still keep true to the concept. My own and AI’s first list are from my original concept. The second AI list is from the new concept. Both AI lists help me better understand what the terms mean because AI’s suggestions are clear and succinct.

ASSIGNMENT 1

1. Previously, I saw more intrigue regarding the plot than the characters, where the characters tended to act like props for the plot…except when it comes to specific characters like Kate and Hal regarding their relationship, which involves wounds and secrets for both.

Secrets, deception, conspiracy and hidden agenda about the VP job.

Same with Iran, Russia, ship sinking or not.

Hal is deceptive, conspiring and secretive about enticing the Iranian ambassador to meet with the Foreign Secretary.

SEASONS 1: EPISODE 4

Continues the several layers of intrigue regarding the Iranian ambassador, surfacing during his meeting with the Foreign Secretary, attended by Kate secretly, etc.

Then, of course, the Iranian dies. Layers of intrigue grow around his death. Who, what, when, why, how does he die. And then almost comically Kate and Dennison conspiring to make it look like the Iranian wasn’t dead until reaching the hospital.

P.M. Trowbridge secret/hidden agenda to continue to use the Iranians as target for his vitriol in order to make him look tough as prime minister.

Billie’s secret held also be Stuart is that she ran for President and he was her campaign manager, and she had won the election until a court overturned the results…echoing the 2000 election where the Florida State Supreme Court ruled about the hanging chad causing W to beat Gore.

Kate and the Dennison secretly have sex, or at least keep their sexual spark as secret as they can until the CIA station director figures it out.

There’s a whole lot more. Every word, every action emerges from subtext.

ASSIGNMENT 2

My characters are still evolving as is the story.

Name: SARAH

Role: Protagonist.

Hidden agenda: She’s out to get her spouse’s (Daniel) trust fund.

Competition: competes with Daniel’s mother (Victoria) to get control of Daniel’s fund.

Conspiracy: she plots with Daniel’s secret girlfriend (Emma) to help her (Sarah) escape her “abusive” marriage.

She plots with her ex from the time she met Daniel to get the trust fund. Later conspires with her ex to get rid of Victoria.

Secrets: She and her ex are still together, and have grifted others before Daniel, but on a much more petty scale. All the while from the time before she met her ex, she’s good friends with an older man as a father figure who lets her stay with him on his boat as sanctuary whenever she needs one.

Deception: She works at a thrift store as a cover so she can pass notes along to her ex.

She goads Daniel into abusing her so it looks like she’s the victim. After the police respond to several calls, they lock Daniel up. She acts like the loving daughter-in-law to Victoria, while plotting to get rid of her. Marries and has child by Daniel as heir to his trust fund, which makes her trustee.

Wound: Hates herself for what she’s doing to Daniel. Scamming Daniel is her ex’s idea. Feels she’s failed as a mother because Alex transitioned from Alice.

Secret identity: Changed her name when she met Daniel. Changed name when she met her ex. She has a different identity with the father figure on his boat. We never find out her true identity. She acts differently with each name she goes by. 

Name: Daniel

Role Sarah’s spouse, father of toddler, stepfather to Alex.

Hidden agenda: To break free of his mother’s clutches.

Competition Unwittingly competes with Sarah’s ex. Also competes with his mother for Sarah’s allegiance.

Conspiracy Plots with his secret girlfriend to rid Victoria from his life.

Secrets Secret girlfriend whom he knew before marrying Sarah.

Deception Married Sarah and has a child by her in order to show his mom he’s a man on his own, but he’s still emotionally dependent on his mother.

Wound Emotionally dependent on mother. Financially dependent on father. Sarah humiliates Daniel, especially sexually, making him feel inadequate.

Secret identity As a street musician (flute), he assumes the moniker “The Messenger”. He believes his street music comes from the realm of the gods, unlike his technical approach to music at the music academy.

Victoria

Role: Evil mother/mother-in-law.

Hidden agenda Keep control of the trust fund, by keeping Daniel emotionally dependent on her.

Competition Sarah.

Conspiracy Plots with Daniel’s secret girlfriend to get rid of Sarah…the way the secret girlfriend got rid of Daniel’s previous girlfriend, whom the police fished from the river when a fisherman found her car sunk under the bridge.

Secrets: She fears Daniel will lose his innocence. She knows the trust fund is tied to an oil well discovered on their land–capped and buried in cement as hazardous to the environment. No one else knows. All legal documents and records have been destroyed by her husband when he drew up the will.

Deception Gets close to Daniel’s girlfriends so they confide in her about Daniel, which she uses against the girls so Daniel breaks up with them.

Wound Her deception doesn’t work on Sarah, who’s too street smart for her.

Secret identity none that I know of

From AI:

For each of the [main characters] for this [genre] about this [concept], please brainstorm the [intriguing layers] of that character that have never been seen on TV or in the movies and that fits this TV series well. intriguing layers = hidden agendas, competition, conspiracies, secrets, deception, wound, secret identity character name: role: A. hidden agendas: B. competition: C. conspiracies: D. secrets: E. deception: F: wound: G: secret identity Genre = drama Concept = A mother, protecting her trans teen from a dangerous husband and his controlling mother, finds solace in her husband’s secret lover, navigating a complex dance of interferences and secrets Main characters = mother, dangerous husband, husband’s controlling mother

ChatGPT

Certainly! Let’s explore the intriguing layers for each main character in this drama series:

1. Mother

A. Hidden Agendas: The mother secretly plans to expose her dangerous husband’s illegal activities to ensure a better future for her trans teen.

B. Competition: She competes covertly with her husband’s controlling mother for custody of her trans teen, striving to create a safer environment.

C. Conspiracies: The mother uncovers a conspiracy involving her husband’s dangerous dealings, leading her to collaborate with unexpected allies to bring him to justice.

D. Secrets: She harbors a deep, personal secret from her past that, if revealed, could jeopardize her efforts to protect her trans teen.

E. Deception: In order to gain crucial information, she strategically deceives her dangerous husband and his controlling mother, playing a dangerous game to maintain the upper hand.

F. Wound: The mother carries emotional wounds from her own past, impacting her ability to trust and connect with others, especially as she navigates the complexities of her family situation.

G. Secret Identity: She adopts a secret online identity to gather information about her husband’s activities, all while maintaining a facade of normalcy in her day-to-day life.

2. Dangerous Husband

A. Hidden Agendas: The dangerous husband has a hidden agenda to use his controlling mother’s influence for personal gain, even if it means putting his family at risk.

B. Competition: He competes with other criminal entities in an underground world, leading to dangerous power struggles that inadvertently threaten his family.

C. Conspiracies: The dangerous husband is entangled in a larger criminal conspiracy, unbeknownst to his wife, involving illicit activities that extend beyond their family drama.

D. Secrets: He holds a crucial secret that, if exposed, could unravel the criminal empire he has built, adding an extra layer of tension to the unfolding drama.

E. Deception: Constantly deceiving his wife and controlling mother, the dangerous husband skillfully maintains a facade of normalcy while pursuing his illicit activities.

F. Wound: His criminal pursuits stem from unresolved wounds and trauma in his past, providing a nuanced understanding of his destructive behavior.

G. Secret Identity: In the criminal underworld, he operates under a false identity, making it challenging for anyone, even his wife, to fully comprehend the extent of his dangerous connections.

3. Husband’s Controlling Mother

A. Hidden Agendas: The controlling mother has hidden agendas to maintain her family’s reputation at any cost, even if it means suppressing the truth about her son’s criminal activities.

B. Competition: She competes with the mother for control over the family narrative, striving to manipulate events to portray her son in a more favorable light.

C. Conspiracies: The controlling mother is part of a larger conspiracy to protect her family’s criminal enterprises, leading her to make morally questionable decisions.

D. Secrets: She guards a dark family secret that, if exposed, could shatter the carefully constructed image she has maintained for years.

E. Deception: Expert at manipulation, she deceives those around her, presenting a facade of a concerned mother while covertly pulling strings to protect her son’s criminal interests.

F. Wound: Her controlling nature stems from her own traumatic experiences, offering a glimpse into the psychological complexities that drive her actions.

G. Secret Identity: She maintains a public image that starkly contrasts with her involvement in criminal activities, effectively concealing her true identity from those outside her inner circle.

These intriguing layers for each character add depth and complexity to the drama, making the series more engaging and thought-provoking.

For each of the [main characters] for this [genre] about this [concept], please brainstorm the [intriguing layers] of that character that have never been seen on TV or in the movies and that fits this TV series well. intriguing layers = hidden agendas, competition, conspiracies, secrets, deception, wound, secret identity character name: role: A. hidden agendas: B. competition: C. conspiracies: D. secrets: E. deception: F: wound: G: secret identity Genre = crime drama Concept = A young woman schemes with her ex to steal from an off-beat family the rights to a capped oil well that might not even exist–in the Everglades. Main characters = young woman, her ex, street musician, musician’s controlling mother

ChatGPT

Character 1: Name: Riley Stone
Role: Young woman
A. Hidden Agendas: Riley is secretly working for a powerful oil tycoon who wants to eliminate the off-beat family’s competition in the oil industry by taking control of the potentially lucrative capped oil well in the Everglades.
B. Competition: Riley is not just competing against the off-beat family; she is also in a covert competition with another corporate spy hired by a rival company to secure the rights to the oil well.
C. Conspiracies: Riley discovers a hidden conspiracy within her own employer’s organization, where they plan to exploit the oil well’s discovery for their gain, but at the expense of environmental destruction in the Everglades.
D. Secrets: Riley harbors a personal secret from her past involving the off-beat family that, if revealed, could jeopardize her entire mission and put her in grave danger.
E. Deception: Riley maintains a false identity as an environmental activist to get close to the family and gain their trust, all the while hiding her true motives for wanting control of the capped oil well.
F. Wound: Riley carries the emotional wound of a traumatic event from her childhood linked to the Everglades, making her connection to the mission more complex and personal.
G. Secret Identity: Riley’s true identity is concealed not only from the off-beat family but also from her ex-partner, who believes they are working together for personal gain rather than corporate interests.

Character 2: Name: Jake Miller
Role: Ex-partner
A. Hidden Agendas: Jake has a hidden agenda to double-cross Riley and take sole control of the capped oil well, seeking revenge for a past betrayal.
B. Competition: Jake is not only competing against the off-beat family but is also secretly in a race against time as he competes with another criminal organization looking to exploit the Everglades for their gain.
C. Conspiracies: Jake unwittingly becomes entangled in a larger conspiracy involving government officials and illegal oil operations in the Everglades, putting his life at risk.
D. Secrets: Jake is hiding a dark secret about his involvement in the criminal underworld, which, if exposed, could ruin any chance he has of successfully stealing the oil well.
E. Deception: Jake pretends to reconcile with Riley for the heist, but he is actually plotting to betray her, leading to a complex web of lies and deceit.
F. Wound: Jake carries the wound of a past failed heist that resulted in the death of a close friend, driving his ruthless determination to succeed at any cost.
G. Secret Identity: Jake operates under an alias, concealing his true identity not only from the off-beat family but also from Riley, who believes they share a common goal.

Character 3: Name: Dylan Harper
Role: Street musician
A. Hidden Agendas: Dylan is secretly using the heist as an opportunity to escape his troubled past and start anew, hoping to disappear in the chaos surrounding the oil well scheme.
B. Competition: Dylan competes with other street musicians for the prime spots in the Everglades, creating a hidden rivalry amidst the chaos of the heist.
C. Conspiracies: Dylan unwittingly becomes a pawn in a larger conspiracy involving the environmental impact of the oil well, forcing him to choose between personal gain and his principles.
D. Secrets: Dylan is hiding his true identity as a former tech prodigy who faked his own death to escape a life of privilege and pursue his passion for music on the streets.
E. Deception: Dylan hides his affluent background from the off-beat family, portraying himself as a struggling musician, while secretly using his technological skills to assist in the heist.
F. Wound: Dylan carries the emotional wound of a family tragedy that led him to abandon his former life, making the heist an opportunity for redemption.
G. Secret Identity: Dylan’s true identity as a wealthy runaway is concealed not only from the off-beat family but also from Riley and Jake, who remain unaware of his past.

Character 4: Name: Beatrice Harper
Role: Musician’s controlling mother
A. Hidden Agendas: Beatrice has a hidden agenda to use the profits from the oil well scheme to fund her secret philanthropic activities aimed at manipulating local politics.
B. Competition: Beatrice competes with other influential figures in the community for control over the Everglades and its resources, leading to a hidden power struggle.
C. Conspiracies: Beatrice is part of a larger conspiracy involving corrupt politicians and environmental lobbyists, aiming to exploit the Everglades for personal gain while appearing as an environmental advocate.
D. Secrets: Beatrice hides her involvement in a past scandal that could tarnish her family’s reputation, using the heist as a means to erase any trace of her indiscretions.
E. Deception: Beatrice maintains a facade of a loving and protective mother while secretly manipulating her musician son and the rest of the family to further her own agenda.
F. Wound: Beatrice carries the emotional wound of a past betrayal that drives her ruthless pursuit of wealth and power in the Everglades.
G. Secret Identity: Beatrice’s true identity as a cunning manipulator is concealed from the off-beat family, who sees her as a loving matriarch.

Top of Form

[Lawrence Fraly]

Module 1 Lesson 3

Larry Fraller’s Engaging Main Characters

What I learned doing this assignment is how AI surprised me by the complexity it adds, which I would have never considered. Also, by its lack of depth in many of the Character Basics. But AI’s language and logic is far more succinct than my own, uninterrupted by personal involvement the way I am.

ASSIGNMENT 1

The Diplomat: Season 1, Episode 3

ROLE

Kate: Ambassador to UK

Hal: Married to Kate, used to be ambassador

PURPOSE / EXPERTISE

Kate: Expertise: No nonsense problem-solver

Purpose: prevent a war

Hal: Expertise: Contacts throughout Middle East and other war zones

Purpose: Groom Kate to be VP and support her as Ambassador

IRONY

Kate doesn’t know she’s being tested and groomed to be VP

Hal tells her they want her to be VP just as she’s about to greet the President as he arrives in London

INTRIGUE / SECRETS

Kate wants a divorce, forges relationships with whom she shouldn’t and without sharing her plans in the proper chain of command

Hal Sec of State won’t let anyone hire him because Hal’s such a loose cannon, going behind everyone’s back using his contacts to deliver messages that he’s not authorized to do

MORAL ISSUES, BOUNDARIES

Kate ignores protocol and traditional role of ambassador to UK as figurehead, bypasses the proper channels and chain of command. Abuses egos in order to get the job done.

Hal acts through back channels, even when it violates federal law

UNPREDICTABLE

Kate Makes errors in judgment when gets emotional about an issue or a person, as when she beats Hal for lying to her about wanting a divorce, and when cussing at the Foreign Secretary when he left her out of the loop about the “sinking ship”.

Hal sets events in motion when he’s not supposed to, which no one knows until he fails or succeeds—after the fact.

EMPATHETIC – WHY DO WE CARE?

Kate is way over her head and out of her element as ambassador because all along she’s been a hands-on field agent working on human rights and helping people on site.

She’s also being pushed into being VP, which she’s neither qualified for nor wants.

Hal has been relegated to “ambassador’s wife” after a superlative career as ambassador in his own right.

ASSIGNMENT 2

My Show

1. Journey of the show:

To escape her violent husband, Sarah abandons her 2-year-old and goes on the run with her preteen son until her husband catches up to her.

2. Main characters that will sell the show:

Sarah (the mom)

Alex (her preteen son)

Daniel (her abusive husband)

SARAH

Role

protagonist

Unique purpose/expertise

Mentally brilliant, dumb as a skunk in the streets – so dumb that she can’t tell when people take advantage of her – but she’s a quick learner and gets vicious when she has to.

Intrigue/secret beneath the surface

She’s been there before. Abandoned by her own mother, she grew up with her alcoholic grandparents. Sarah got really good at pretending everything is alright. She’s got a world of repressed rage she doesn’t know she has – until she’s finally had enough.

Moral issue: What moral boundaries is she crossing

She’s a killer in sheep’s clothing. I wouldn’t pursue her if I were her abusive husband.

Unpredictable

Being repressed and pretending everything’s alright until it’s not, she trusts people she shouldn’t and fears people she should trust.

Empathetic, Why do we care?

We care because she does. She goes through a lot of trials in the beginning, and has to make one of the toughest choices any mother can make: abandoning her two-year-old to protect her 12-year-old.

ALEX

Role

Rebellious son

Unique purpose/Expertise

Blames his mom for abandoning his baby brother. Terrified of his stepfather. Intrigue/Secret

Learns from stepfather how to attack when opponent least expects it—once Alex gets strong enough and danger closes in.

Moral issue What moral boundaries are they crossing

He steals. He lies. He bullies.

Unpredictable/what will he do next.

He gets into dangerous situations just to prove he can handle it.

Empathetic Why do we care

We see in the beginning how he has to defend himself but can’t. He tries to defend his mom against his stepfather, and practically gets killed.

DANIEL

Role

Abusive spouse/stepfather

Unique purpose/Expertise

He’s an ex-SEAL with PTSD

Intrigue / Secret

Dishonorably discharged for causing collateral damage (killing civilians) he could have avoided.

Moral issue/What moral boundaries is he crossing

Not only does he not control his rage, he doesn’t want to.

Unpredictable

Sometimes he comes home flush with cash—and booze. Times like those he sits in the street and whimpers. Times like those he also might parade around the yard naked as if he owns the whole neighborhood, which he might, as everyone’s either afraid of him or excuses him because he’s a vet.

Empathetic/Why do we care?

I mean, come on, he’s a vet with PTSD, right?

No? Not enough? How about he loves the baby he has with Sarah. Too bad he resents Alex (from some other guy’s loins). He’s kind to Sarah when she’s not with Alex. So why’s he such as asshole? Maybe we shouldn’t care. But some people might see something in him otherwise. I don’t know. You tell me.

AI generated version of my characters:

For each of the [main characters] for the [genre] about this [concept], please brainstorm the [Character Basics] of that character that fits this TV series well.

Character Basic =

A. Role in the show

B. Unique Purpose / Expertise

C. Intrigue: What is secret beneath the surface?

D. Moral Issue: What moral boundaries are they crossing?

E. Unpredictable: What will they do next?

F. Empathetic: Why do we care?

Genre = Drama

Concept = To escape her violent husband, Sarah abandons her 2-year-old and goes on the run with her preteen son Alex until her husband Daniel catches up to her.

Main Characters = Sarah, Alex, Daniel

ChatGPT

Certainly, let’s brainstorm the Character Basics for each of the main characters in this drama with a focus on their role in the show, unique purpose or expertise, intrigue, moral issues, unpredictability, and what makes them empathetic:

Sarah:
A. Role in the show: The central character and protagonist, Sarah is the character whose journey the audience follows as she escapes her abusive husband.
B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: Sarah’s expertise lies in her determination to protect her children and her resourcefulness in evading her husband.
C. Intrigue: Beneath the surface, Sarah is hiding the guilt and shame of leaving her toddler behind, which haunts her throughout the series.
D. Moral Issue: Sarah grapples with the moral dilemma of abandoning her 2-year-old, questioning if it was the right decision or a betrayal.
E. Unpredictable: Sarah’s actions can be unpredictable as she makes choices driven by desperation and fear for her children’s safety.
F. Empathetic: We care about Sarah because she’s a mother who took a desperate measure to protect her children from an abusive relationship, and her internal conflict reflects the difficult choices many face in similar situations.

Alex:
A. Role in the show: Alex is Sarah’s preteen son who must adapt to the challenges of being on the run with his mother and protecting his younger sibling.
B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: Alex’s expertise is his maturity beyond his years and his ability to navigate unfamiliar situations.
C. Intrigue: Beneath the surface, Alex is struggling with anger towards his father and the weight of the responsibility placed on his young shoulders.
D. Moral Issue: Alex faces a moral dilemma as he becomes involved in decisions and actions that challenge his sense of right and wrong.
E. Unpredictable: Alex’s actions can be unpredictable as he grapples with the complexities of the situation and his evolving role in the family.
F. Empathetic: We care about Alex because he’s a child thrust into a difficult situation, trying to protect his family while coping with the trauma of an abusive household.

Daniel:
A. Role in the show: The primary antagonist, Daniel’s role is to pursue Sarah and create tension throughout the series.
B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: Daniel’s expertise lies in tracking and manipulation as he is relentless in his pursuit of Sarah.
C. Intrigue: Beneath the surface, Daniel has unresolved anger and insecurity stemming from his own troubled past.
D. Moral Issue: Daniel has crossed moral boundaries with his violent and controlling behavior, and his actions reveal the consequences of such behavior.
E. Unpredictable: Daniel’s actions are unpredictable as he becomes increasingly desperate and unpredictable in his quest to regain control.
F. Empathetic: While he is the antagonist, there’s potential for empathy toward Daniel as viewers may glimpse the damaged person behind the abusive behavior, though it never justifies his actions.

These character basics add depth and complexity to the main characters, making their roles in the drama more engaging and emotionally resonant.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Larry Fraller’s Three Circles of Characters

What I learned doing this assignment is to work with my own ideas, then use AI to fill in the gaps and/or take the characters to extremes. I may be able to use some of what AI generated. But I could also have AI generate another list more aligned to my own.

ASSIGNMENT ONE

The Diplomat Season 1 Episode 2

A. Main Characters Circle

Kate – Ambassador to UK. Her journey—from hands-on, frazzled, sharp-tongued, no bullshit field operative who specializesc in Mideast warzones, to Vice President (basically a bureaucrat with a fancy trappings). However, her journey is also the remaking of the Vice President’s role. (Oddly, her four traits are spelled out succinctly by three different characters at 35:00 of Season 1 Episode 3)

Hal – Kate’s husband and previous diplomat who supports her work behind the scenes, which screws up her work behind her back, unintentionally or not.

Eidra Park – Chief of the CIA Station in London who “manages the very close and very important (and very complicated) relationship between the CIA and MI6. Park vets Kate’s info and supports her as an assistant of sorts. At first, Park doesn’t like Kate’s attitude or methods, but she grows to accept and respect her.

Foreign Secretary Dennison – UK’s Foreign Secretary and “Kate’s most important relationship in the UK who becomes an unexpected partner when crisis hits. He learns to respect Kate, hinting also at romantic interest in her, a chemistry between them we see, but they don’t dare acknowledge.

Essandoh — Kate’s Deputy Chief of Mission at the US Embassy in London, “her savvy and loyal right-hand-man.

Prime Minister Trowbridge – Out of favor with the public because of their perception that he has no backbone. Hence, he uses to his political advantage the blast that kills more than 40 sailors on the aircraft carrier. A loose cannon in his own right, challenging Kate to deal with difficult politicians more in tuned to their own interests while acting like his actions are in the country’s best interest.

B. Connected Characters Circle:

US Secretary of State Ganon – Kate’s boss who’s always left out of the loop, leaving her to balance his ego with her selfless commitment to doing what’s best for the country. He’s basically a slime bucket who could be seen as the primary villain to Kate’s hero.

Billie Appiah – White House Chief of Staff. A constant battle between her and Kate, Appiah represents bureaucratic protocol that Kate has to slog through. Billie is one of the key players testing Kate’s abilities to fill the role of VP.

President Rayburn – Gutsy, no nonsense Churchill kind of guy who’s open to reasonable ideas that don’t mesh with his own. He challenges Kate because he’s testing her for the VP position, and he quickly learns to heed her advice.

Margaret Roylin – Conservative Party political operative who knows more than she lets on. Essandoh does his best to steer Kate away from her.

C. Environment Circle

A host of UK characters at the American ambassador’s residence and the 10 Downing Street, whose roles are to maintain protocol which Kate and Hal kind of laugh at. These background characters serve as a link from the previous Ambassador, striving for continuity.

Security personnel. Some of these serve as comic relief.

Embassy staff

Iranian spies/agents who kidnap Hal, putting Kate in a complicated and dangerous tightrope situation, considering that Hal is the one who learns that Iran is not responsible for attacking the aircraft carrier.

ASSIGNMENT 2

My show

MY CHARACTERS

1 Circles of Characters

A Main characters circle

Sinclair—PROTAGONIST Successful businessman who spent 8 years for

second degree murder, having killed his spouse in a jealous rage

Bats – 3 years for illegal bookmaking, and extortion.

Howie – 5 years for assaulting a cop, resisting arrest, tax evasion.

B Connected circle

Ferdie (Fernandez) – Scruffy ex-SEAL with a big heart he wears on his sleeve

who runs the soup kitchen.

Solina – She runs the Altered Identity Network

Nightboy – runs witness local protection program.

3 Environment circle

Ragged masses, mostly street people, day workers & homeless.

Other kitchen volunteers

AI CHARACTERS

LAF:Please create three groups of characters for my TV series that is thriller about ex-cons working in a soup kitchen that is set in subworld of hidden witness protection program and covert organization that creates new identities for criminals, and are unique to this story. A. Main characters: 3-5 key characters that the journey is about. Tell us the following: Unique role: Secret or intrigue. B. Connected characters: These are characters that the main characters interact with during the season. They play a part in the journey in some way and sometimes affect the main character’s actions. C. Environmental characters: These are background characters that are necessary to fulfill the “standard roles” for this kind of story, but usually don’t do anything significant. List them by their jobs only. Genre = thriller Concept = Ex-cons at a soup kitchen, one suspecting a fellow member as the informant who led to his arrest, confront a web of secrets and betrayals that endanger their newfound lives. Subworld = Hidden witness protection program and Altered Identity Network.

ChatGPT

Certainly, here are three groups of characters for your TV series, “Rat’s Reckoning,” set in the subworld of a hidden Witness Protection Program and the Altered Identity Network:

A. Main Characters:

1. Eddie “Spoon” McCarthy

· Unique Role: The reformed criminal who manages the soup kitchen, haunted by his past and determined to uncover the rat who informed against him.

· Secret/Intrigue: Eddie’s secret is that he was once a high-profile organized crime member and has a deep-rooted desire for vengeance against the rat.

2. Lena “Whisper” Carter

· Unique Role: A tech-savvy ex-hacker and chef, who is crucial in digging up information about the rat’s identity.

· Secret/Intrigue: Lena is in hiding from a powerful cybercrime syndicate that wants her dead.

3. Agent Jessica Reynolds

· Unique Role: The WITSEC agent responsible for overseeing the Witness Protection Program, tasked with preventing Eddie from discovering the truth.

· Secret/Intrigue: Jessica is secretly questioning the ethics of her work within WITSEC and is considering exposing its dark side.

4. Dr. Lorraine Grant (Key Character)

· Unique Role: The enigmatic mastermind behind the Altered Identity Network, who holds the key to the ex-cons’ pasts.

· Secret/Intrigue: Lorraine has a personal connection to Eddie’s past and a hidden agenda within AIN.

B. Connected Characters:

1. Miguel “Rico” Rodriguez

· A street-smart ex-gang member and the charismatic cook in the kitchen, who inadvertently discovers critical information about the rat’s identity.

2. Agent Paul Donovan

· A veteran WITSEC agent who sympathizes with Eddie’s pursuit of the rat but is conflicted between his loyalty to the organization and his conscience.

3. Samantha “Sunny” Johnson

· A former con artist with a knack for gaining trust, who forms a bond with some of the newcomers to the soup kitchen, unwittingly collecting clues about their true identities.

4. Lucas “Ghost” Steele

· A field agent for the Altered Identity Network, who interacts with the ex-con kitchen staff during their covert operations, leaving subtle clues about the network’s activities.

C. Environmental Characters (Background):

1. Soup Kitchen Volunteers

2. Local Law Enforcement

3. Kitchen Patrons

4. Street Vendors

5. Delivery Workers

These environmental characters help create the backdrop and atmosphere of the series while occasionally influencing the main characters’ actions and decisions.

[Lawrence Fraly]

DIPLOMAT

What I learned doing this assignment was: there are other elements that contribute to the 5-star model:

1 pacing: I got so used to the rapid pacing that I couldnt’ slow down at the end even if I wanted to: (very short, quick scenes for international plot, longer reflective scenes for their relations) Pilot ends with jump from her photo op to quick shot of him getting kidnapped.

2 from one scene to the next, I felt swept up in the various points of view about the main plot and the various developing relationships (Kathryn has to prevent a war while having to deal with Hal and the messed up marriage to him.)

3 Kathryn’s reaction to each new setting as both a pain in the ass ans also an awesome fantasy

The Diplomat opens with a bang, literally. Explosion on aircraft carrier at sea. We don’t know whose the carrier is, what kind of explosion, where the ship is, or why. (HOOK, BIG QUETION THAT KEEPS COMING UP)

Cut to establishing shot of Wash DC.

Cut to couple in suite (hotel?) Nice to intro two main characters with strong contrast between the two. She’s dressing almost frenetic, while he sits idly on the bed at his laptop. Their marriage is strained. They’re normal roles are flipped.

Catalyst at 2:50 is the couple see burning ship on their laptop.

Throughout we see the relationship strained, especially when he’s free to cut through protocol, and she, as new ambassador must “respect institutional norms.

(BOTH ARE INTERESTING CHARACTERS, LOTS OF LAYERS TO EACH. RIGHT AWAY WE SEE HER DISTRESS AT BEING A FISH OUT OF WATER WHEN HAL SAYS THE CALL’S FOR HER — SHE’S WANTED IN THE WHITE HOUSE.)

Their conflict is in every scene where they’re together. And sometimes when they’re not, as when Kathrine explains to Deputy Chief of Mission that Hal’s behind her getting on the call to the President and Prime Minister, which US Sec of State was left out. (HER DISTRESS WHEN HAL GOES BEHIND HER BACK TO GET THINGS DONE AND IGNORING PROTOCOL, WHICH COMES DOWN ON HER. AND IT’S NOT SMALL EITHER…THEY HAVE TO PREVENT A WAR WHILE DEALING WITH EACH OTHER)

Funny and ironic situations where Hal is expected and gets credit as the US Ambassador while she’s working on INTRIGUE of the perpetrator of carrier explosion.

IRONY when she hears President promised he’d never send Hal anywhere after Hal called the Sec of State a war criminal, which he probably

SO FAR SEVEREAL LAYERS OF PLOT

SURFACE –The explosion on carrier: who, what, why

SURFACE – Katheren a fish out of water

SURFACE – Kathren and Hal don’t get along

2ND LAYER: Who did the explosion ((Several people are mentioned which always has rebuttal to keep us wondering.(HOOK, INTRIGUE)

2N LAYER: Katheren and Hal across from each other on plane, debating the int’l conflict and the protocols of politics (INTERESING, KNOWLEDGEABLE CHARACTS)

3RD LAYER: She’s being tested/groom to be VP and she doesn’t know it but catches a lot of flak because of it (INTRIGUE, DISTRESS, AMAZING CHARACTER, WHICH SEE IN ACTION AND HEAR FROM WITNESSES)

3RD LAYER: Why is she going to be fired? (DISTRESS, INTRIGUE

4th LAYER: K and H both have reputations as Ambassadors that could affect her position in UK

5th LAYER: K and H each have self-esteem issues that the other knows but can’t address directly because for the sake of the plot, they need each other, regardless what a pain in the ass he is.

by this point, I was caught. Minute 6:30

All this happens so quickly given a break following their convoy from overhead

Aside from unanswered questions, and unpredictability, two other elements that draw me into obsession:

1: how quickly she’s swept into inner circle, and how well she handles it, having the moral fortitude to say what she knows that they don’t, regardless of the other person’s political status

2: pacing: rapid scenes for int’l plot giving a sense of impending doom and her Sherlock Holmes ability to see clearly without making assumptions

Then slowing scenes down when K and L are alone, because their relationships

My emotions tend to match the pace, or as Hal says HOPE / FEAR

The rest of the pilot does the same as she goes through transformations. One of my favorite lines when she learns they plan to fire her is that Cinderella can’t be fired,

so she goes through the ritual and protocol.

Almost any scene after could end the pilot at any scene, but the pilot keeps moving forwad with terrific cliffhangers.from one scene to the next. THE BEST CLFFHANGER Sis the final image of Hal being drugs and taken away/ (INTRIGUE, HOOK, DISTRESS LAYERS

DIFFICULT TO GO THROUGH REST OF THE PILOT BECAUSE IT’S SO PACKED WITH SIMILAR ISSUES

[Lawrence Fraly]

Zoom is open but won’t let me in. Keeps buffering, no matter how I try.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Name: Larry Fraller (Lawrence Fraly)

I agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Lawrence Fraly]

I’m Larry Fraller (by the way, I don’t how, but ScreenwritingU got my last name wrong. No wonder I can’t find any of my other courses!)

I’ve written three features, several shorts, and a music video.

Mozart in the Jungle got me hooked on watching series. Ever since, I’ve been wanting to learn how to write one myself. If AI can keep me from writing in too many directions at once, I’m all for it. (and anything else I can learn)

While in college, I interviewed some fascinating people for college newspaper. Some interviews I absolutely botched.

I’ve taken ProSeries, MSC15 and several 30-day courses with ScreenwritingU.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by  Lawrence Fraly.

[Lawrence Fraly]

I’ve modified my outline and brainstormed three scripts for this course, but haven’t completed anything except scenes that I’ve rejected as taking each script in directions I didn’t want to go. I tried exchanging with one person back in the beginning, but never heard back. This course has definitely strengthened my understanding of character, because of the clips we watched. It was good review of what Hal presented in the Pro Series and MSC.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Week 4 Day 5 Undiluted Truth/Monologue ALI

FIRST WATCH

Quality of this monologue Rhythm, repetition, simplicity of language, turn same words used by “establishment” against itself (irony), pausing between sentences/phrases – classic oratory

Level of emotion and the character’s truth Ali elevates the emotion as he speaks, he’s angry, and speaking to the press as well as to any in the establishment who could hear him.

SECOND WATCH

Drama of this scene Ali was called up as a draftee, and he refused to fight. At the time, there was great division in the country about the Vietnam war and civil rights.

Profile Here’s the greatest fighter in the world in the ring, which makes him the perfect character when he refuses to fight for those who try to take him out of the ring and thrust into the ring of fire. He’s brave in and outside the ring, standing up against improbable odds. Dodging their punches and punching back. His wound are his being black and Muslim. But he embraces his wound as his strength.

What makes his character great from a writer’s p.o.v. is the many layers Ali lived in real life and what he represented to so many people – devil or saint, depending on which side you were on. Most of those issues (if not all of them, including inequities in the military) are still with us. Tapping deeply into those truths could upset a whole lot of folks who don’t get the truths now and any more than the folks did back then. What else makes this character so great from a writer’s perspective is how dangerous he could appear on the screen. You have to pull your punches, no pun intended, or this movie would have never been made. Even Spike Lee understands the business side.

My writing I’ve had to pull my punches on both screenplays I’ve written for courses I’ve taken with ScreenwritingU. And I’ll have to pull even more punches with the one I’m writing now. I learned a lot about toning down the “truths” just from listening to this milquetoast monologue (no offense to Michael Mann).

[Lawrence Fraly]

Week 4 Day 4 Uncomfortable Moments MEET THE FAMILY

FIRST WATCH

How many ways is this character made uncomfortable?

1) Jack catches Greg looking through Jack’s things in Jack’s basement

2) Jack asks Greg if he’s looking for something, which could imply that Greg’s looking to get the dirt on Jack or at least that Greg is where he’s not wanted, or at least doesn’t belong

3) Jack then asks if Greg is looking at “that” (something specific). This sounds like Jack suspects Greg of spying on him or getting ready to steal something.

4) Jack asks Greg to try out the polygraph machine, asks him what he’s afraid of, bringing Greg’s anxiety out into the open (elephant in the room).

5) Jack ties Greg up (to the machine) with all kinds of straps and clips and who knows what all

6) Jack says the machine can tell if someone’s lying.

7) only yes or no answers, without being allowed to explain his answers

8) Jack tells Greg no peeking at the machine’s read out

9) Two questions that are automatic easy “yes”, followed immediately by an awkward ambiguous question which would implicate Greg of being dissatisfied with the cooking, which Greg is not dissatisfied, but the food was a little on the rare side for his taste

10) The needles are jumping wildly with Greg’s answer about the food and/or his anxiety about the question

11) Jack cuts into Greg’s most intimate privacy by asking if he watches porn.

12) Scene cuts away to Greg alone, in his pajamas in what looks like a bedroom, chewing Nicorette gum because he’s not allowed to smoke in the house

Weak position: Greg is already on Jack’s turf, in his house, in his basement, tied up to Jack’s machine to which he has to answers Jack’s questions without being allowed to ask any himself.

SECOND WATCH

Drama scene built around Jack is testing Greg to see if Greg is worthy of marrying Jack’s daughter.

Profile Greg is a private person, tending towards making light of any situation, passive by nature. Greg has many secrets. You can tell by his anxiety at being tested by a lie detector machine.

Jack is domineering, seemingly without any sense of privacy. His vulnerability is his daughter. Jack can read between the lines. He’s a predatory alpha male. Greg is easy prey.

Breakthrough about these characters being great from a writer’s p.o.v. Their traits are almost diametrically opposed, except that they’re both worried about their relationship with Jack’s daughter. Every event is unpredictable. This unpredictability is not unlike the Cohn Brother’s coin toss scene.

For my own writing I’m adding more anxiety situations where my protagonist demands answers from others about her, not about themselves.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by  Lawrence Fraly.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Week 4 Day 3 Pushed to the breaking point GOOD WILL HUNTING

FIRST WATCH

Built up to this breaking point To Will, Sean is just another therapist. And just like in the bar when he out-duels and bullies the grad student, Will attacks Sean with facts and name-dropping. Facts he derives from objects that appear meaningful to Sean. Sean parries every one of the thrusts with deeper knowledge than Will attacks with, until Will analyzes the watercolor, in which we see Will showing his own insecurities he’s projecting onto Sean.

How is Will able to get to Sean and what reaction does it cause?

A split second is all we’re allowed to see of Will’s own vulnerability in his self-reflective analysis of the painting—before Will realizes he can’t get to Sean through the usual trappings of ego. Will attacks what’s truly meaningful to Sean—not facts and artifacts, but what he thinks is Sean’s loss of manhood / intimacy with Sean’s wife. What Will doesn’t realize is that Sean’s wife is dead.

SECOND WATCH

Drama The court requires Will to see a therapist. Will’s gotten the better of every therapist so far. But he hasn’t run into Sean who parries every one of Will’s attacks on the artifacts in Sean’s office. Will lumps Sean in with all the other therapists. What he doesn’t count on is that Sean has a wound even deeper than Will’s.

Profile What Will also doesn’t realize is that Sean’s wife isn’t an object of Sean’s affection, not an object at all, but his life. Her death is Sean’s wound. Her life was his strength. Will’s attacking her also reveals Will’s own inability to love anyone but himself.

Will is aggressive, abstract, analytical, narcissistic, intuitive, and can’t stand authority.

Sean is intuitive, analytical, clever, witty, well-rounded. He will meet head-on any challenge to himself and/or his colleagues, except the one thing he holds sacred is his wife. Then it’s not a challenge, it’s a war, and he’s been to war.

Interesting from writer’s p.o.v. Both have powerful/archetypal subtext of vulnerability they refuse to let go of. Will doesn’t know his yet, but I’m sure he’s going to reveal it to Sean. The painting is a trope like a mirror, revealing the character’s subtext as he analyzes the meaning. These two are equally matched in the surface world. But Sean is so much more aware of his inner world than Will is.

My own writing I have two secondary characters who are in similar relation to WIll and Sean, with one character more vulnerable, and going at each other as one pulls away from the other. For my protagonist, whose wound is deepest of all and self-inflicted, I need to draw out the conflict between her and her mother, whose wound is also deep, but which she wears on her sleeve.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Week 4 Day 2 Forced To Violate Their Values THE WALKING DEAD

FIRST WATCH

How was this value shown: In a very gentle voice he calls her “little girl”, and tells her he’s a policeman and not to be afraid. He reaches out his hand, implying he’s someone who can help her, even as she’s walking away in her robe and pjs and slippers, carrying a teddy bear.

What caused him to violate that value and what are the consequences? When she turns to face him, she’s all dirty and deformed like her face has been punched pretty hard and she’s been tortured. Then she snarls and comes at him, like a monster. He shoots her in the head. She falls backwards, dead.

SECOND WATCH

Drama this scene built around There are no other people than the two of them. Cars are either wrecked or parked all which away. No sound. When he/we first see her from him looking under a car at her, she’s reaching to pick up a teddy bear. For all we know, she’s a lost child, and in shock.

Profile He’s kind, protective, gentle, caring, can kill to keep from being killed.

She’s dead, or something.

Interesting character from writer’s p.o.v. He has all those sweet traits, but underneath, he’s as much a killer as anyone. After all, he’s carrying a gun and uses it. But with the suspense of his kindness, will he shoot her?

My own writing I need to show more explicitly what Sadie values, and how she is tested when her father kills the deer and she picks up the rifle and aims at him.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Week 4 Day 1 – Putting the Character to the Test MY COUSIN VINNY

FIRST WATCH

How is she tested and how does it build to an emotional moment?

Intending to show that she’s not a qualified witness, the prosecutor admits she has general knowledge about cars, but that it doesn’t make her expert witness. So she gets up to leave but the judge says she can’t leave until he tells her to. Vinny tells the prosecutor to give some real questions. But says she can’t answer because it’s a bullshit question. Prosecutor says that proves she’s not expert. She says no one can answer it because it’s a trick question. She blows everyone away on what she knows about the trick question.

What is the result of the test Her knowledge puts the prosecutor to shame.

SECOND WATCH

Drama scene is built around Courthouse where Vinny’s cousin and friend are on trial for murder, because their car matches the real murderer’s car. Vinny and his troupe are New Yorkers in a Southern town, classic trope of out-of-towner underdogs who seemingly are way in over their heads with no chance of justice.

What profile items show up? She’s snide, humble, doesn’t put up with nonsense, sees through hypocrisy, smart as shit, and a private person, as a woman, she’s at a disadvantage so when she takes down the big dogs it’s a great win for all women.

Vinny—cocky, respects women as equals, looking for a good fight, fights hypocrisy, resourceful

Insights: test the character and you’ll find all kinds of hidden talents and secrets and resources…Especially if the test is in steps that build to a crescendo of ultimate success of failure, where stakes are life/death.

My writing Several tests and challenges dominate my story, but I can definitely see where I can up the stakes and draw out the tests/challenges, not unlike No Country for old Men.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Week 3 Day 5 Character Ending RUDY

FIRST WATCH

Fitting ending: Rudy is cheered on by the crowd. When he gets into the game. The crowd continues to cheer. The coach is reluctant to put him in (Rudy’s such a little guy). When he does, on the last play of the game, Rudy makes the decisive tackle ending the game in his team’s favor.

The experience at the end is unique Rudy practiced with heart, he breaks through the offensive line with heart to bring down a big running back.

Journey to a conclusion Rudy worked so hard all year, and it pays off when he tackles with skill and courage.

SECOND WATCH

Character engaging The crowd.

Expressing his profile He’s a popular guy because he works so hard, without complaining and without any playing time. But he’s hopeful, optimistic and persistent. Rudy’s no quitter.

Character depth Rudy’s much better athlete than the coach gives him credit for. So you get the feeling that Rudy has much more under the surface than the coach sees. But the whole school and his own team do see.

Character great from writing p.o.v. Rudy’s an underdog. He’s very small compared to every other player on the field. But he’s got heart. Even if he loses in the end, he wins because he faces up to the test.

My writing. I have two under dogs in my story. But one of them has to have a secret that gives her strength (because she endures the secret for so long) and fear (because she’s afraid of the rage and aggression she’s capable of). Given the right subtext, the ending will be unique for her.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Week 3 Day 4 – Character Climax THE MATRIX

FIRST WATCH

Ultimate expression of conflict: Chron is going to pull the plug on Neo to see if he’s the one. He’s killing people all over the place. Why, I don’t know. But he’s in love with Trinity but she chooses Neo instead of Chron.

True test of his character Trinity turns him down, and he goes nuts killing everyone in sight. Then he’s going to prove that Morpheus has tricked them, by pulling the plug on Neo and killing him. If Neo doesn’t die, then Morpheus told the truth. Chron’s character, as I see him in this scene, is a sceptic who needs empirical proof. He also would rather live a lie than live without Trinity.

The yes or no moment of his journey When Trinity says no to him, choosing Neo instead.

SECOND WATCH

Character is engaging: He’s passionate. He’s skeptical. He’s not going to take no for an answer, regardless of what that no means. He’s resentful. He’s a psycho killing machine.

Expressing his profile; He’s talking with Trinity the whole time he’s killing everyone, including his attempt to kill Neo. But he never tries to kill Trinity.

Depth of his character: Even while he’s killing everyone else, he’s pouring his heart out to Trinity. He thinks Morpheus is lying to them, that they are not in the real world. Or at least he WISHES this were not the real world, because in the real world, Trinity rejects him.

Interesting from a writer’s p.o.v. Chron is emotionally charged. Passionate. Questions authority. Anything by an automaton like the others.

Insights for my own writing Give at least one of my secondary characters a powerful emotional connecting to Sadie, that depends on her actions towards him.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Week 3 Day3 Turning Point THE MATRIX

FIRST WATCH

Part of character’s journey looking for the truth, he takes the red pull and returns to reality

Changes the character’s life forever He’s been pumped with all kinds of gizmos attached to him that seem to be pumping an ionized liquid through him, imagery not entirely unlike the movie 2001 when Hal locks the human from the space craft.

Requires him to up his game NOW: Can’t tell what his game is or how he has to up it. This scene appears only to be his transformation from human to something not.

SECOND WATCH

Engaging: He chooses to give up his present life to find the truth, and he’s subjected to strange sci fi gizmos that seem to impact his physical being, but it’s the visuals that are striking to me, the character being merely a prop to get some cool CGI on the screen

Expressing their profile Neo doesn’t seem to have any emotion, except apprehension. He goes through this gooey transformation without any resistance or emotion.

Character depth: A mystery of what he’s going through, and where he’ll wind up. His surface appears like it’s going to be changed. Depth? What is coming to the surface that wasn’t there before?

Interesting character from writer’s p.o.v. Once you see that Neo’s willing to subject himself to anything in order to learn the truth, the writer can challenge and change him in just about any way the writer wants to, including giving him new traits, and/or bringing subtext to the surface. Neo can go through incredible obstacles that test of his will. You can give him superpowers. You can take him on a journey to a wise being at the center of Hell or as high as the highest peak in existence. You define the “truth” any way you want to. Neo is about as malleable as any character can be.

Breakthrough from other writers: To get anything more out of this scene, I have to see other scenes for context.

Breakthrough for my writing: Back to my script TRIGGER EFFECT, I could invent any truth for which Sadie searches. Any truth could be valid, so long as I create the metaverse believable to the audience. I can give Sadie a secret that she doesn’t know she has until she finds it.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Week 3 Day 2 Character Intro THE GODFATHER

FIRST WATCH

Challenging situation Man asks him for justice for his daughter.

Dialogue Corleone rebukes the man for coming for help only now that he’s in trouble, never as a friend, never calling him Godfather, never offering respect. If the man had, then man’s daughter would never have been attacked because then man’s enemies would have been his enemies. Best line is end of scene when he says they’re not murderers no matter what the undertakers say.

Take action fitting his character Once other man completely submits to him, Corleone agrees to do what the man’s asking…by telling one of his cronies to tell one of their hitman to do the job.

Insight into who he really is He’s unwilling to do anything for the guy because the guy never showed him “respect”, until now. Once Corleone completely humiliates him in front of the “council”, then Corleone will inflict “justice” on the men who attacked the guy’s daughter. Corleone says consider it a gift on Corleone’s daughter’s wedding day. At first, we only see the man, as if his monologue is what matters. We don’t know if he’s speaking to the camera or another person until the camera pulls back and we see a hand gesture for another hand to offer the man a shot of liquor. Then pull back more to see Corleone. He towers over the scene without even being in the initial shot.

SECOND WATCH

Engaging Corleone who focuses on respect, gradually humiliating the man who comes begging for his help. Every gesture, every word by Corleone is measured, ripe with subtext, in control, and gathering more control as the scene progresses.

Express profile Corleone never raises his voice. He dominates by convincing the man he’s disrespected Corleone. Corleone boxes the other man into a corner by preying on the man’s desperate need for help. Corleone sneers throughout the scene. He pets a cat through the whole scene. He values animals more than people.

Depth in this character Corleone is dressed formal while discussing murder. He pets a cat while discussing murder. He demands respect while he’s disrespecting the other man. He’s godfather to the man’s child, but he’s also godfather to his own mafia family. We don’t even see his mafia life in this scene, but he alludes to it when he says they don’t murder.

Great character Corleone plays many different roles from the very opening. Mixing family and business. Blood lines and bloody body bags. He’s been around a while, so he must have survived a whole lot of crap, and committed even worse to get where he is. He also commands others as his henchmen.

My own writing. The prince’s mother can command this kind of respect, by force of

[Lawrence Fraly]

Week 3 Day 1 Character Structure SILENCE OF THE LAMBS

FIRST WATCH

CLARICE

Intro Rookie FBI agent, says not spook easily

Act1 Turning Point she has to track down serial killer on the loose

Midpoint She has to match wits at the prison with worst serial killer ever in order to track down other killer

Act2 Turning Point Hannibal escapes. Now she’s in danger, and has to find him.

Climax She’s terrified but continues to go after him.

Ending He thanks her. Has she gained his respect?

HANNIBAL

Intro We learn from hearing others describe him that Hannibal’s the worst psychopath ever caught.

Act1 Turning Point He meets Clarice and instantly plays her.

Midpoint He escapes

Act2 Turning point He’s on the run

Climax We see just how gruesome he is.

Ending He thanks her. Why? What’s she done for him? Is he still toying with her?

Both are great characters

Clarice develops her strengths and faces her weaknesses. Her traits emerge under fire.

She has to strangle her passions and fears in order to keep a level enough head to act on her training, and rise beyond her training to master of the chase.

Hannibal’s intro is how he appears to others. But then he’s so subtle with her in person, their first meeting, that we are drawn into his mysterious subtext. What is his motivation? How to show him as even worse than how others see him. He’s masterfully insightful. We have to respect and fear him. It’s as if he’s an archetypal god preying upon human hubris.

My own writing: Horror story. Lorette loses her innocence gradually. We see her loss before she does. Prince Ossamon reveals his evil gradually. He toys with Lorette without her realizing it…until it’s almost too late.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Week 3 Day 1 Character Journey THE PROPOSAL

FIRST WATCH

Andrew:

Intro Late to work, but does what he can to get there

Act1 Turning point She tells him to work weekend, he doesn’t want to, makes excuses, she sees through his excuses (he’s subservient by necessity, but quietly rebels in asides)

Midpoint Agrees with her scheme to sham marriage, or lose his job

Act 2 Turning Point Meet parents, marriage better be real, again he submits, but only because at this point he’s buried up to his ears in the sham, and can’t back out. He dumps her out of boat, no longer submissive. He rebels on personal level. She’s no longer the boss.

Climax The real kiss, sham intimacy becomes real intimacy

Ending They’re married, equal and loving it (each other)

SECOND WATCH

Margaret:

Intro She domineering in the office, she’s his boss

Act 1 Turning Point She needs him to work weekend, lets him complain, knowing he’ll still submit, do what he has to do to keep his job. She values him or else just doesn’t want to have deal with replacing him. She likes toying with him, because he’s playful.

Midpoint She’s going to be deported, lose her job if deported. Schemes sham marriage with Andrew to avoid getting deporting

Act2 Turning Point Parents expect real marriage. She’s no longer in her role as boss at work. She has to act as a person, and her vulnerabilities come out.

Climax The kiss. Sham intimacy becomes real intimacy.

Ending Married, equal, and loving it.

Great characters: They’re on opposite tracks of dominant/submissive that converge at equality. She’s a control freak, he submits against his will. Situation forces them to converge. Once she finds a way out of her dilemma at work, she thinks she’s acts as if she’s still in control of her situation. But the situation controls her and him. They have to work together to gain control of the situation. Opposite traits fight each other until their similar subtext trait can show itself – need for intimacy.

My writing Power plays between characters can work completely opposite to The Proposal: on the surface, their traits align, in subtext their traits conflict. This gives me something to work with. Their traits emerging as their attraction falls away. Their structures start out together, but fall apart as their structure progresses.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Week 2 Day 5 Attraction

A STAR IS BORN

FIRST WATCH

where does attraction show up for Ally?

The way she looks at him, especially when he’s not looking at her.

She admits the song (or at least the line about rough edged) is about him.

The way she surrenders to the song, it’s an offering to him. Or rather for him. Yet not. She’s allowing herself to be vulnerable to him, without asking his permission. She sings with supreme confidence, knowing (sensing) his awe. I mean, like how could he NOT be in awe. As are we, the audience.

When he kisses her hand, she says, she loves that. Then hedges when she says, she thinks, fearing she’s made herself too vulnerable to him. But she says it anyway. She’s already beyond herself with him.

Her song asks if he’s trying to fill that void (she knows the void), and asks if he needs much more.

Where does attraction show up for Jack?

He listens intently to every word she says. When she gets too emotionally close, he looks down, but still as intent, even more so, when he’s not engaging directly with her. His asking if the song, or the line is about him…shows he likes her liking him. He knows he’s a star, but it’s good to feel it’s not just for the masses, but for someone who truly feels his pain.

He kisses her hand.

He’s sitting in a parking lot with her. Bringing her into his world of alcoholic disregard (disdain) for the public who have no regard for him (or who let him into their world of pain numbed by addiction—without judging). Trusting her not to judge him.

what is causing this attraction?

I can’t tell what’s causing the attraction, because they’re already sitting in each other’s intimate space when the scene opens.

However, the attraction builds as she reveals more of herself through the song. It’s the song, I believe, that draws in the audience beyond empathy and interest in the characters. The song, the lyrics, the melody, her voice, her belting it out with eyes closed, standing above him and the world – this song is not only to him, but to the universe.

SECOND WATCH

What drama scene built around:

She’s writing a song for him. They’re in a parking lot of a convenience store, without regard for their social status or personal differences. It’s a shared space. Their intimately shared space.

Profile

Jack alcoholic, aging out, knows the elation of writing/performing but he’s lost it and in great need of being appreciated as a musician as well as a person – he’s intuitive (knows the song is about him) – but he’s not going to grab her attention, he needs her appreciation to be freely given. He’s no fool. He knows he’s hit bottom. It’s his wound, but it’s also his identity.–That void, Needs more. Hard core.

Ally Insightful, bold, vulnerable, She knows that void he’s in, and needs more, and is hard core. Everything she sings about him is coming from herself…also herself, in her own fashion, on a different scale.

Breakthroughs: “That” void is beyond the personal. It’s the existential void of despair that we are alone in this universe and can seek solace only in surrendering to that void in each other. But only if the other also feels “that” void. Not just feels, but knows, deep inside. That’s the appeal of this song and their relationship.

WHat makes these characters great from writer’s perspective – they exist within and with each other. Neither could stand alone. Apart, they’re opposites in the everyday world, the temporal world. Together, their opposites merge into a singularity, a harmony. This scene shows me the importance of music. Music – this song – is a central character, without which this would be an ordinary movie about the broken sage mentoring the gifted acolyte.

My own script The attraction in this scene is built around the song which is built around their attraction, which is built around their need for more than themselves. All of a sudden, from what I’ve been focusing on in the song, it’s just now coming to me that almost all my characters in everything I write are trying to fill that void, or avoid it, but they need so much more than the world provides. This script’s a horror genre. I can feel the void throughout the story, in the violating of norms, and the antagonist’s preying upon the protagonist’s fantasies. What I need to do is adjust the entire outline so the subtext creeps into every scene. Maybe some of it’s already there. I have to rethink this.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Week 2 Day 4 TRIANGLE

Ocean’s Eleven

FIRST WATCH

What makes this triangle interesting?

The subtext. All the dialogue is oblique, nothing direct except Danny saying he would like her in his life, but respects her choice. From the first gesture of this scene, when Danny touches Tess’s shoulder and she thinks it’s Terry, we feel the tension of the other man’s (Terry) presence, even when he’s not there – through expectations and surprises.

Where do you see secrets, intrigue, and emotional needs?

This meeting between Danny and Tess would be kept secret if Terry doesn’t show up. Unless—Danny WANTS Terry to see him with Tess. A taunt? Is Danny playing up the emotions one would expect him to show her by his acting (saying) he wants her in his life? Can we trust Danny, since he admits to lying (about being a thief), while she implies Danny has lied to her all along. I mean, she says Danny never told her he was in prison—unless SHE’S lying too. There’s a secret history of bad blood between them.

Then there’s Terry, who implies he knows Danny plans, or at least intends to rob the casino. It’s as if Terry is challenging Danny to a duel, using Tess as a reason. There has to be some bad blood between Terry and Danny too. A history we don’t know but we can feel from this scene.

Where do you see conflict between each point of the triangle?

See my response to previous question.

SECOND WATCH

What drama is this scene built around?

Terry owns a casino. He acts like he owns Tess. Danny acts like he’s only saying hey to his -ex, but we know he’s a thief. Does Danny own Terry? Terry says “I don’t imagine we’ll be seeing Mr. Ocean any time soon.” Danny retorts “You never know.” Like two alley cats testing each other.

Profile

Terry – cold, eyes of steel. This guy don’t sweat for nothing nor nobody. Danny’s might be just the heat to force Terry’s wound to the surface. Something in Terry’s life made him a control freak. Macho Latino? Appropriate for Casino boss, but for a triangle relationship?

Danny – slick, a smooth operator, schemer, pretty boy with an ugly heart.

Tess – a player. Is she distant and distrusting of Danny – because she knows Terry is watching? She and Danny must have had some chemistry, matching their traits when they were married/living together. So it’s harder to read her than Danny.

These characters are great from a writing perspective

They speak through subtext, playing off one another’s weaknesses. Each portends a future showdown. The dialogue is witty. Danny is playful. Tess is a player. Terry is being played.

My own script.

I’m developing my horror movie. There’s a built-in triangle between the young married couple and the prince. Each has a triangle with the other. All subtext, except the young woman whose naiveté evolves outwardly. Her actions corrupt her. Her husband and the prince (and the prince’s mother) are all corrupt inside to begin with. The husband doesn’t know it until the prince makes him aware of it. Oh what fun I’m going to have with them after seeing this scene, and reading this lesson.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Week 2 Day 3 Power Struggle

REMEMBER THE TITANS

FIRST WATCH

Power struggle created by arrogant football player telling new coach to use just himself and a friend in the games. Coach doesn’t like that one bit, and immediately humbles the guy.

What about these characters demand this power struggle?

Coach runs the team. Players do not. Player is super capable athlete, with an ego to go with it. Coach is confident, with a vision to build the guys into a community who work together.

How does each character’s audience influence & depend on this power struggle?

Player’s parents look on with pride which tells us the parents are vicarious heroes through the boys. The parents shield the arrogant guy from any responsibility. They are there to support and brag about their All American star. Also, the kid’s white, so there’s that. Obvious contempt for the authority of Coach.

Coach has no visible audience, except the other coaches, who don’t seem to approve of him. Coach has to show he takes charge. That he’s not only equal, but superior to these smug assholes because he can see right through them, while they ignore his clapping as if he’s invisible. He shows who’s boss.

SECOND WATCH

Drama built around everyone watching to see how the new coach handles adversity. How he will prove himself worthy. Atmosphere so electric you can feel the zap of the coach’s thunderclap burning down the incipient white privilege to a pile of ashes.

Profile

Coach brash, bold, alpha male, probably had to take a lot of crap off white folks his whole life. He’s astute. He flips the power dynamic of submissive black man/haughty white boss man. His future is to build a team where everyone has a role to play…As Deion said to parents of his players when he was coach at Jackson State – you give me your boys, and they will come back to you as men. But his future’s is dealing with the white coaches whose game plan is different from his. The white coach looks down on the black coach’s game plan as simplistic.

Athlete Arrogant. Knows he’s on stage as lead actor, and insists the new coach treat him as such. Wound is he’s not yet a man, not yet a big enough star to run the show.

Great character

Coach has the grit to stand up to others, but he’s got a deep wound he’s covering by being so brash. He’s got a thing about “Who’s your daddy?”. Opportunity for serious backstory and subtext about growing up black. He’s got a minefield to dance through, and the smarts to step hard when he needs to.

What I learned:

In my horror script, my protagonist and antagonist will have subtext that matches up with the each other’s surface traits. They’ll get along tremendously well, until they don’t.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Week 2 Day 2 Worthy Opponents

GREEN BOOK

FIRST WATCH

How mismatched

Dr Shirley sits on a throne, literally and figuratively looking down on Tony who sits on a simple chair with no table between them.

Dr Shirley looks African, articulates clearly without accent, pompous, pretentious, beautiful, intellectual without emotion, with an agenda. He projects “Black is beautiful.”

Tony looks gnarled and speaks street. Sees only the surface. He’s prejudiced against groups, even treats individuals with prejudiced. He has no idea how he comes across, and doesn’t give a shit either, except he expects respect.

Whereas Dr Shirley says “valet”, Tony says “butler”.

Even their clothes are mismatched—Tony in dark, Dr Shirley in whitish.

What do they have to get over to be able to work together and become friends.?

Each has to see the other as an individual, clearing them of stereotypes, and discover what they have in common.

How does this mismatch create a future?

They’re extremely opposite. But underneath, there’s that need for respect, and their fears of moving outside the familiar. In this case, it really is dangerous for both of them.

They’ll have to work on each other. Get inside the other’s head, by showing what’s in their own. Both appear dangerous. You can see they’ve got a lot to learn about each other. I suspect they’ll have to rely on each other as the movie progresses.

SECOND WATCH

Drama They’re feeling each other out. Tony wears his prejudice on the surface. Dr Shirley wears his “superiority” on his surface. Both have powerful subtexts that barely come to the surface, but are implied. Tony uses prejudiced language as he says he had “colored” people over for dinner, an oblique reference to Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner, but without the guess and without the dinner. Dinner is a fairly intimate meal, especially when you have kids.

Dr Shirley says it’s not a job for a married man.

Tony says it depends on how much money the job pays.

Profiles

All of the above. Plus: Dr Shirley must have a wound strong enough for him to have created this surface traits.

Tony comes from a rough life.

Both pretend to be something they’re not.

Tony’s secret is obvious to us that he’s connected to the mob.

Dr Shirley’s secret is obvious to us that he’s a rapper – his “Dr” a front name, like many other rappers who project faux white respectability, while rapping about hate and violence.

My breakthroughs/insights into what makes these characters great from a writing perspective?

Being so extreme and opposite in their arcs toward a common closure, these characters give the writer many incredible scenes to bring them together.

Breakthrough from other writers:

I learned that the “dinner” was just something to drink for the workmen. Not particularly an insight, but a new fact added to the equation.

And that their opposites is also their commonality.

What I learned rewriting my scene/character:

Still working on the outline and notes for my family feud script, I can work mismatched characters into all three of the children and, in turn, each with the mother.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Week 2 Day 2 Worthy Opponents

TOMBSTONE

FIRST WATCH

Tension when these two worthy opponents come face-to-face:

Johnny Ringo tries to intimidate Doc by talk, by gun in Doc’s face, by gun speed. Doesn’t work. They mock each other, matching wits and speed. Ultimately, Doc outdoes Ringo. But Ringo’s not humiliated by Doc’s showing him up with his cute cup trick, which draws laughter all around. Ringo looks like he’s walking away, bested by a drunk, but instead good-naturedly buys a round for the house. Game on. They understand each other. Only one can win, but both will try.

What does Doc discover about Johnny’s character in their first meeting?

Doc sees himself in Johnny. His nerves of steel. His arrogance. They’re both educated men, speaking Latin to each other.

How do they stand out from others?

Talent with gun, steely eyes, speaking Latin, literally standing, both are bold and fearless.

SECOND WATCH

What drama is this scene built around?

Both men have reputations as gun men. And they know it. Doc’s drunk, in a saloon. All the patrons are completely focused—riveted on how Doc and Ringo test each other.

They’re on Doc’s home court, with Doc’s good buddy Wyatt Earp holding court with a gun cocked and ready if Ringo pulls a fast one.

What profile items (right character, traits, secret, wound, future) showed up in these two characters?

In addition to what’s above, they are both confident, playful, and have a history of killing.

What makes this character great from a writer’s perspective?

The challenge. Upping the stakes. Each has to draw upon subtext, secrets, resources that build tension into the future. The characters’ talents go from the mundane to the ridiculous, giving the writer free reign with his imagination.

Insights/breakthroughs I picked up from other writers;

I missed that Doc sees himself in Ringo and doesn’t like what he sees (himself).

I get that these two are twins on opposite sides of the tracks, but I learned from the forum that Doc is likeable, Ringo is despicable.

I missed Doc is unarmed and protected by Wyatt Earp. I mean, I saw this but it didn’t dawn on me that Earp tried to defuse the situation by saying he’s retired. Doc picks up the ball and runs with it.

I don’t know why I miss so much on the surface that speaks worlds of subtext underneath. It helps to read others’ comments. So many breakthroughs.

What I learned rewriting my scene/character:

Breakthrough! I have to strengthen my two main characters in the family feud script, which is still in outline and notes. This lesson is much better applied before I begin the actual script. All the lessons are.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Week 2 Day 1 BELONGING TOGETHER

SEABISCUIT

First Watch

They belong together because the horse is a fighter against everyone. Red is a fighter taking on everyone, telling them to come at him. Red’s fearless, and knows what it’s like to be attacked.

Second Watch

Drama Situation where thoroughbred can’t be tamed. The trainer’s looking for someone to ride the horse. The person he finds can’t be tamed either. Perhaps intimidated is a better word than tamed.

Profile Red looks like he’s got the same untamed spirit as the horse. The trainer’s looks from the horse to Red. We can see in his look that he’s going to get Red to work the horse. Both horse and jockey are misfits with very hot tempers, especially when threatened. They don’t back down. What will their profile look like when they learn to trust each other and are no longer threatened?

What makes this character great from a writer’s perspective? Is Red up to the challenge? He’s a fighter, but does he have other qualities, wounds, subtext where he and the horse can meet on equal ground, testing each other, learning to trust. The writer starts with a raw, unrefined, brute (both horse and Red). But there has to be more. The writer leaves it open as to whether the horse and the man will be merely superhero/villain, one-dimensional fighters, or will their battle bring out the best in each.

In my horror screenplay (still in very rough first draft), an innocent young wife brings to life a prince by painting him from her imagination. On the surface, both are innocent of heart and pure of intent. Each, however, will evoke the worst in each other. Well matched by both of them living in a dreamworld, until they turn each other’s dreams into nightmares.

What I learned rewriting my scene/character: Give them the same traits and subtexts so that they belong together, at first as sweetness convention of rom/com, evolving into their inner demons creeping to the surface. Each connives against the other. They are driven to evil by forces beyond their control after each transgresses against their own ideals…those forces are my own twist(ed) lifting of the Eumenides from Greek mythology.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Week 2 Day 1 BELONGING TOGETHER

Sleepless in Seattle

FIRST WATCH

They have parallel responses to the radio – he calling in, she listening in.

They both say “Sure you do” (and she smiles) when radio says “I don’t want to invade your privacy.”

When radio says that something sounds missing in Sam’s voice and that he’s living under a cloud, Annie is looking off into space, melancholy.

Annie has a pained look (for Sam’s situation, for all loneliness which shows in her own pained look) when he mentions his wife used to do everything, and it’s tough this time of year (Christmas).

When radio asks if maybe Sam needs someone as much as his son (Jonah) does, Annie says yes, and closes her eyes (answering for herself) when radio says don’t answer that.

When radio cuts to comments, Annie snaps out of her pensiveness, Sam shows his own return to awareness when turns to his son.

Both show a need for someone meaningful in their lives, both sensitive and longing.

SECOND WATCH

Drama Christmas, Sam’s a single dad of a bright young son with whom he seems rather close by talking with the kid as an equal.

Annie’s listening in on his private loneliness, with her own longing.

And both are tuned in to the same show.

Predictable that these two will get together because they belong together.

Profiles

Sam kind, gentle, caring, sentimental, dreamer, but domestically not much imagination (he left that up to his wife), lost his wife, single dad, future (looking for someone)

Annie sensitive, seeking someone, caring, dreamer

My breakthrough from others’ insights These two well-known actors are the real characters. They bring to the screen their own personas. Both characters are visceral rather than rather than rational. There’s a lot going on before this scene that leads to their commonality. Not having seen the movie or read the script, I realize that I should try harder to get my hands on the scripts used in this class. I generally look for a script after I see a movie that has some kind of impact on me.

What I learned rewriting my scene/characters my own writing I’m still in the brainstorming/outlining phase of my new script. I’ll experiment with subtext traits that belong together, which the pairs of characters don’t realize, but others around them do.

[Lawrence Fraly]

1_5 CHARACTER WOUND

Goodwill Hunting

What I learned rewriting my scene/character

Sadie thinks Derek’s getting killed is her fault for scaring him into the street. This trails back three years earlier to her having picked up a rifle against her father and putting it down before he saw her with the rifle.

1st WATCH

What causes both characters to reveal their wounds?

She wants him to go to California with her. He doesn’t want to.

How are those wounds motivating their emotion, actions, and reactions?

Skylar wants to hear Will say he loves her. She practically pleads with him to say so. Hearing him say he loves her seems more important than him saying he’d go to California with her.

Will gets very defensive about leaving, raising the volume and intensity as she keeps at him to say he loves her or not. He acts like he’s going to hit her after he tells her he’s an orphan, and she keeps on the subject of him loving her, and that she can help him. He gets really fired up when she hits his wound of him being strong enough to live without hers or anyone else’s help.

They threaten each other’s wound by playing the role opposite what each needs. She says she’ll leave him alone if he says he doesn’t love her. As he walks out (abandoning her), he says he doesn’t love her. He attacks her as being a rich bitch slumming with him. She says she had no say in her money, inheriting from her father, and the money means nothing to her, if she could have even one more minute with her father (losing his love when he died).

He turns his wound against her – by abandoning her.

She turns her wound against him – by him losing her love.

2nd WATCH

What drama was this scene built around? They are in bed together, intimate, trusting their vulnerabilities to each other. But that trust blows up in their faces when it turns out each character’s vulnerability is a corollary of the other’s. Each is alone in their own way — Skylar by losing her father; Will by being an orphan.

What traits show up in these characters’ words and actions?

Skylar is a rescuer (as a metaphor for bringing back her father, creating a father figure who will be beholden to her). She quietly suffers her pain. She pleads for love but is used to loss, regardless of the pain, and will walk away if he walks away from her. She defers emotional responsibility to the other person to make decisions for her. This is her loss of father figure.

Will is a fighter. Gut punch fighter. Going for her weakest points which he assumes is her wealth, about which he’s wrong. He’s impulsive and quick to judge, holding grudges in life that are misplaced in her. He pushes her away, pushing himself back on the streets alone – turning away from a faux mother figure in her. He’s not a loner, but he acts like he doesn’t need her to care about him.

BREAKTHROUGH

I knew about wounds from other courses and such, but seeing these two affect each other’s wounds is a real eye-opener for me. The relationships are more important than the wounds and the secrets themselves.

I also love the raw emotional dialogue that plays off each other. Plays into each other. Their facial expressions and volume of delivery builds with their emotions, and the dialogue becomes quicker and sharper, like weapons moving in at close quarters.

What makes this character great from a writer’s perspective is the layers each peels away from the other, digging deeper into each other’s wound without realizing what they’re doing to the other. Gives each other opportunity to build emotional exchange. Each shows just enough of their wound to cause the other to show more of their wound. On the surface, each has different goal. She wants to leave (with him). He wants to stay with or without her. Subtext, they’re both hurting, causing each other to hurt worse by bringing their subtexts close to the surface, but only close enough to not push each other apart. His subtext forces her to abandon him. Her subtext forces him to say he doesn’t love her.

Insights from others: Will and Skylar battle for control.

Each has subconscious reasons for their wounds (subtext?).

The two come from different levels of society (different worlds).

[Lawrence Fraly]

Secrets and Reveals LOST

What I learned rewriting my scene/character is to make the secret a dangerous one. And set it up in the opening, even if it’s disguised, to make the audience want to see where it leads the character and/or what’s driving the character. When it’s revealed, many of the plot pieces should fall into place.

I’m writing a new script for this class. So far, I’ve mapped out most of the outline, but am still inventing characters and secrets. The more I learn how to develop my characters, the stronger the plot.

1st Watch

1) Kate’s secret is set up by her driving away as the house blows up in the opening. There seems to be a history of him abusing her.

2) Jack’s shock at Kate’s wanted poster and Marshall saying she’s dangerous.

3) Her secret is revealed while playing “I never” with Sawyer, as she gets loosened by the alcohol, and she confesses because of Sawyer upping the secrecy/stakes of each confession. Several secrets are revealed by this game, building emotion with each new reveal.

2nd Watch

1) Drama is built around the confession scene as we and Jack know she’s dangerous. Sawyer and she are alone at night around a campfire. The game builds suspense as several layers of subtext are peeled away until her truth comes out that she killed a man

2) Traits

Jack – insightful, clever, subtle

Kate – confident, brave, daring, spiteful/vindictive (picks on J’s weakness), playful

Breakthrough

I never saw the show, never knew the slightest thing about it, except that a lot of people had watch parties and really got into it. Now I can see why.

A hidden secret that’s damaging / hurtful / dangerous to the character hidden can drive the plot through that character’s subtext. Once revealed, and the subtext comes to the surface, it doesn’t have to come to the surface for everyone, just a select few. If only one other person learns the secret, the two become either cohorts or dangerous to each other.

I missed that Jack had also killed a man. I mean, I saw it, but it didn’t register until I read other people’s posts.

Also, I didn’t catch that Jack is charming, but seeing it in another person’s post, it’s oh so evident to me now.

[Lawrence Fraly]

WATCH 1ST TIME

Junah is coming from defeat, but pushing through, trying to find his deeper self that’s buried under a barrage of surface demands and bloodletting.

Bagger literally comes out of the darkness, like a phantasm.

RIGHT FOR THEIR ROLES:

Junah is a former champion, who no longer believes he’s a champion, or at least says so to others. To himself, driving shots off the tee in the night, he’s fighting to come back. He’s got the champion’s determination, and the erosion of self esteem from having been beaten down away from the golf course, and burdened with too much self-awareness keeping him from letting his self find its natural playfulness. One does, after all, “play” sports.

Bagger Vance is perfect for his role because he’s loose, playful, and knows Junah’s history. As caddie, he goes from being an interrupter/obstruction, to mentor and guide.

WATCH 2ND TIME

Drama Junah trying to get his swing in the dark where no one can see him and he can’t see the results of his shots. There’s a match coming up that he says he’s not going to play in, but, as Bagger points out, Junah’s fighting with himself to get ready to compete.

Traits Junah is determined, frustrated, polite even though Bagger keeps interrupting him, generous and trusting when he offers Bagger to go in the house and eat though they’ve never met before. Junah is also burdened by rules, as shown by his explanation that caddie’s get 10%, not the $5 that Bagger asks for.

Bagger is aware of the deeper self. He lives like a dream, without limitations, without rational thought controlling his life. He’s humble, yet confident. Kind and playful.

In other posters to the forum, I gained insights into level of character development and revealing a character gradually.

One thing I just now happened to think of is that these two characters reveal each other through indirect dialogue focused around a very specific action (hitting the ball). So simple, I don’t know how I missed that until going through other postings and thinking differently about the scene.

[Lawrence Fraly]

What I learned rewriting my scene/character

Bagger Vance and Junah are as different as night and day.

Extremes.

Bagger keeps interrupting Junah’s swing, as if he’s an obstruction. Finally, Junah gives in and hands Bagger the club. At this point, Bagger is no longer an obstruction but a guide.

Fantasy come to life – Bagger as Junah’s alter ego.

As in any sport, and art, the more you think about what you’re doing, the less you succeed. As a writer, when I’m thinking about what I’m writing, then I’m not writing, I’m reading. When I just let myself go (as with Bagger), then my swing comes to me. I don’t focus on my writing, but let the story/characters show themselves through me. The story unfolds rather than crumples in cramps.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Week 1 Day 2 LIVING INTO THE FUTURE

The Terminator

What I learned from rewriting my scene/character

To revise my opening scene, I need to drop more hints about the future, build it into the character’s actions and motivations. I need to be more explicit in the opening about what the goals and problems ahead of them, and not quite let them know what they’re headed for. Keep the audience guessing and wanting to see where the characters will go and what they will do to overcome the obstacles in their way.

WATCH 1ST TIME

Sarah is living into a future where her son already exists, and where’s to become a legend, as Kyle put it. She doesn’t know anything about the future, says that she doesn’t want to organize or be a leader. She seems to know she has a son, but nothing about him. She wants to know, but not about his death.

Kyle knows the future of hiding and fighting.

Sarah’s transformation is implied that she will be a leader, a legend, and everything she says she can’t do now and doesn’t want to do.

WATCH 2ND TIME

Drama is built around them being chased and having to ditch their car and hide, so they can be alone and set up her future and her response to that future.

Traits Kyle is without emotion (is he a robot?), yet he bleeds when shot. And it hurts him. He shows courage, having volunteered for this mission to bring her to the future. He’s humble. He doesn’t let his wound hold him back. He’s courageous.

Sarah knows her limitations. She’s got fire, though, fighting her destiny. She pushes through even when she thinks she can’t handle it (dressing Kyle’s wound). She’s emotionally tied to her future through her son. She’s curious about his life, but doesn’t want to hear about his death.

I don’t see much depth in either of these characters, other than the warrior roles they seem to be headed for in the future.

FROM INSIGHTS OF OTHERS

The setting in the safety and darkness of the cave offers a perfect place for Kyle to spell out exposition in dialogue of her asking then dodging the info about her son.

These characters are in a fluid situation where the future isn’t set. I learned from others on the forum that this is a pattern for our own writing, that we know where our characters are headed, but they don’t, and their future changes as we determine when and how they meet their future.

MY SCENE

My protagonist is going to say directly what she intends to do, but she doesn’t know how difficult that’s going to be for her.

[Lawrence Fraly]

What I learned rewriting my scene /character.

Watch FIRST TIME

character traits

WILL

brilliant (wicked smart)

amused by friend in a trap

waits for bully’s strongest attack, then Will attacks bullie’s biggest vunerability

reads people’s weakness and motivations

show-off

erudite/photographic memory?

well-read (curiousity)?

cold water runs in his veins. Flat affect.

CHUCKIE

bullshitter

insecure

cocky

easily intimidated

SKYLAR

playful (at others’ expense?)

self-assured

unafraid

attention queen

Watch SECOND TIME

Drama Chuckie try to pick up a girl way over his head, and gets caught out on his bullshit by a smug know-it-all

Chuckie’s friends’ lie in waiting.

Will comes to his aid.

Setting Harvard bar so Chuckie can see if he can impress a girl who’s not from the streets.

To show Will’s super-literate/analytical mind. Emotionless, as well, except offer to fight.

BREAKTHROUGHS

At first, I only saw Will sit back, observing, showing nothing of himself other than amusement at letting his friend make a fool of himself. And that Will is brilliant, and reads people well.

But then I realized he’s setting the time and place for his own bullying. He uses his defense of Chuckie so he can take down the Goliath, with himself as the David. Except I also realized WIll thrives on the kill, not on the defense of his friend. He’s cold-blooded, loves making a fool of the grad student the way the grad student was making a fool of Chuckie.

The scene has as many layers as the characters. Building from Chuckie’s easy going noncerebral everyman all the way up to the unique man who’s all brains. Observed by a sweet girl who toys with Chuckie, letting him put the moves on her, while she scoffs at his moves without him realizing it. The scene escalates as Chuckie invents something in common with Skylar. We don’t know how far she’s going to let him go on because there’s a sharp reversal when the grad student barges in. The grad student reveals Chuckie’s insecurity and shows Chuckie just how out of place he is. Talk about a buzz kill! What an asshole, but then Will, the other asshole, goes toe to toe with the grad student. As Will reveals the grad student’s subtext, I suspect there’s a whole lot more going on in Will than shown in this scene.

This is a great set-up for future pay-offs, though I don’t know what those pay-offs might be. None of this is as obvious as the blue sweater scene in Prada. There are other far more subtle metaphors and subtext in Prada.

The subtexts are subtle in Good Will, but the metaphors are practically nonexistent, as far as I can tell. Except the accents. Will and Chuckie are definitely from the streets. The language of Skylar and the grad student is polished. Will tries to hide his accent but it’s evident he belongs with Chuckie and the third guy who leaves with them. So, it seems like language is a metaphor in itself, while the underlying tones are the meanings behind the metaphor.

I have some metaphor in my script, but it need more underlying tones.

I need to put some subtext into my protagonist that will be a driver for her journey, that will be a believable trigger

• This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by  Lawrence Fraly.

[Lawrence Fraly]

I’m Larry Fraller.

I’ve written 3 scripts with several more outlined and partially written. Two scripts are worth rewriting, one of which I’ve been rewriting for a couple of years.

This course offers another reminder that I need to kick myself in the ass and finish this final draft.

Unusual? I keep taking ScreenwritingU courses, including the MSC15 which lasted about two years. And have completed a writing assignment without even trying to get one. I thought I was just helping a guy out. Turns out he’s building his own production company.

[Lawrence Fraly]

(Lawrence (aka Larry) Fraller

I agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

0

[Lawrence Fraly]

Larry’s LinkedIn Profile Is Amazing

What I learned doing this assignment: LinkedIn and other profiles are never static. Should be updated and examined periodically.

Credibility Checklist:

1. writing sample: delivers on genre (drama) in a strong way

delivers on the business decisions

2. Screenwriting Accomplishments

smaller deal: writing assignment (video script shaping a feature)

3. Google factor

IMDB

LinkedIn

4. Network

1200 producers in network (LinkedIn)

280 connections to producers

5 Education

ProSeries and Master Screenwriter Certificate program at ScreenwritingU

6 Borrowed Credibility

Working with a producer

Connected to a star

7 IMDB

no credits

8 Other forms related to screenwriting

plays published and produced

experience with agent at William Morris

experience with an editor for Stephen King

co-wrote and acted lead in sci-fi short (student film)

gave paid poetry readings, including one with Bukowski

4. Will update communications with producers I’m connected to.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Larry’s Credibility is Going Up!

ASSIGNMENT 1 CREDIBILITY CHECKLIST

What I learned doing this assignment is: I can develop my credibility in small steps that I didn’t realize count as credibility; and to be more diligent communicating with producers already in my network.

Steps to take in next 30 days

enter competition

develop relationship with producers already in my network

Checklist:

1. writing sample: delivers on genre (drama) in a strong way

delivers on the business decisions

2. Screenwriting Accomplishments

smaller deal: writing assignment (video script shaping a feature)

3. Google factor

IMDB

LinkedIn

4. Network

1200 producers in network (LinkedIn)

280 connections to producers

5 Education

Master Screenwriter Certificate program at ScreenwritingU

6 Borrowed Credibility

Working with a producer

Connected to a star

7 IMDB

no credits

8 Other forms related to screenwriting

plays published and produced

experience with agent at William Morris

experience with an editor for Stephen King

co-wrote and acted lead in sci-fi short (student film)

Possibilities to increase credibility

competitions

query with treatment / synopsis

assist in production of film(s)

am working with a director to develop a screenplay

ASSIGNMENT 2: Improve LinkedIn profile DONE

• This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by  Lawrence Fraly.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Larry Fraller’s Projects and Insights

1 Go to the forum and sign the Group Confidentiality Agreement: DONE

2 Introduce yourself to the group while you are there. DONE

3 Tell us the two projects you’re bringing into this class and give us a budget range for each; each project must be:

a. An idea that you would like to create:

1) TITLE: UNLEARNING TO DRIVE (Drama: budge $1-5M)

LOGLINE An elderly woman tries make peace with her family, unwittingly wreaking havoc instead, until she and they discover humility and unconditional love.

2) STORY: based on my mother’s end of days.

b. My finished script:

TITLE: TRIGGER EFFECT (Drama: budget $1-5M)

LOGLINE

A rumor that Sadie’s gone bonkers and is going to shoot up the prom triggers the straight-A senior to go bonkers and threaten the prom, unless her friends can stop her before the cops catch her.

(rewriting the script)

Normally a sweet kid, Sadie harbors a simmering rage after having witnessed the shooting of a homeless man the day before on her way home from serving at the soup kitchen.

Some girls start the rumor when they overhear talk about Sadie’s changed demeanor. Whether Sadie means to actually shoot up the prom or not is part of the plot.

We watch her intensions unfold, and how her best friend pieces her back together, before she can pull the trigger.

But her bravado and self-absorption has dire consequences, triggering a completely docile and alienated student to take up a gun in a blind rage.

The underlying message is some triggers to look for and some possible ways to tame the savage beast within us all before it can cause any one of us to attack.

WHAT I LEARNED FROM HAL’S FIRST TELECONFERENCE is to get the movie made! Which means making decisions to finalize my script. From the MSC course, I learned that the story must stay true to the concept. The two lessons are difficult for me to reconcile, but they also force me to focus on a single conflict all the way through, allowing for detours, but always moving toward the same end.

[Lawrence Fraly]

I’m Larry Fraller, written a whole lot of stuff over the years, and three full scripts, though I can’t ever decide on the opening of two scripts, both which came from MSC15. Each of the openings could be a short in itself. No, I’m not a perfectionist. But every time I read something, its meaning is never the same and takes me in different directions.

I just finished a script for rap video, adapted from a feature in pre production. But the rapper crapped out and got himself arrested, so there goes that. The producer’s going to pay me anyway.

By taking this class, I hope to kick myself in the butt and finish a script. I feel good developing relationships with producers and the like, having several who chat with me on regular basis. I’m not so much looking to write for them, but for them to get familiar enougn with what I write.

About me? I wrote a comic book when I was 8, drew all the boxes and stuff by hand (no computers in 1958), and sold the one copy for three cents to a neighbor kid. Fun stuff, huh?

I didn’t get the assignments until a couple hours ago, But I do plan to finish both scripts. Also, I’m terrible at loglines, because every time I write one out, it changes when I reread it.

Genre: drama (subgenre: pscyhological crime, if there is such a thing, well, now there is)

[Lawrence Fraly]

I, Larry Fraller, agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Larry Fraller’s Horror Outline Version 1

What I learned doing this assignment is to get an overview to see what needs more horror/releases, and how to look for specific emotions in each scene.

I’m unsure how to format the horror situations, whether separately or as the action itself. So this version is pretty much a jumble. For feedback I could probably use help Horror emotions.

Title: VEGGIE BITES

Logline: When a vegetarian acquires a taste for meat, parasites and predators acquire a taste for her husband and others in her social circle.

Horror Outline

1. EXT. COTTAGE – DAY

Newcomers, Chambers and Lorette meet Alessa who warns them not to violate tradition.

Horror Situation: Lorette’s afraid of the creepy old woman

Denial: Chambers chides her active imagination

Horror situation: An image of evil shows up in a painting Lorette’s doing.

Denial: Chambers can’t see it.

Panic: Lorette paints a prince, Disney like. To balance good against evil.

2. EXT. CASTLE – DAY

They attend dinner at Ossimon’s castle. She sees darkness in Megarette.

Horror situation: Ossimon’s shadow appears to attack Lorette

Dread: She spills wine on the shadow which causes it to give off smoke.

Fear: She sticks close to Chambers

Denial: She’s attracted to it as a secret portal to Ossimon mysterious world

Denial: Chambers says she’s over reacting, her mind’s playing tricks on her.

Horror situation: creepy description of the lamb as a living being right before they eat it.

Anguish: Lorette feels the animal’s pain. Others are grossed out by it.

Suspense: Lorette’s a vegetarian.

Fear: Lorette tries to leave, but Chambers won’t let her.

Lorette tastes the lamb. Then devours it like a predator. Feels sick.

3. INT. COTTAGE – NIGHT

Lorette falls ill. Alessa brings healing potion that cause gnats to swarm Chambers.

Horror situation: Alessa and Megarette share the same hidden darkness

Fear: Lorette recovers from her fever and follows Alessa into the woods

Terror: The deep woods are as dark and cold as Alessa.

Dread: Lorette breaks off a branch to defend herself.

Panic: She turns back, looking over her shoulder the whole time.

Denial: Chambers says her imagination is running away from her.

Horror situation: Lorette dreams Chambers is not what he appears to be.

Apprehension: She turns away from him in bed.

Surprise: But he’s not in bed. He’s outside watching the moon.

Anxiety: She calls to him but he acts like she’s not there.

Anguish: She sees eyes in the darkness watching him.

Panic: She finds a rifle, but can’t find ammunition

Release: He’s back inside. The sun’s rising. He goes back to bed.

4. EXT. COTTAGE – DAY

Servant girl watches Lorette paint.

Horror situation: Eyes, which Lorette did not paint, appear in the painting

Dread: No one sees these eyes but Lorette.

Denial: Servant girl says Lorette’s a very imaginative artist.

Release: The eyes disappear.

5. EXT. COTTAGE – DAY

Foul smell comes from well, caused by animal carcass. Servant girl fetches water from the river.

Horror situation: Girl doesn’t return

Anxiety: Lorette takes a machete with her to look for the girl.

Fear: Lorette hears howling.

Panic: A wolf attacks her. She kills it with machete.

Dread: She sees a pack of wolves by the river.

Horror: The wolves devour the servant girl, while she’s still alive.

Release: The wolves leap through the river and disappear into the woods beyond

Anguish: Lorette leaves servant girl’s bones.

5. EXT. COTTAGE – DAY

Alessa blames Lorette and Chambers for the girl’s death but won’t say why.

6. EXT. VINEYARD – DAY

Horror Situation: Megarette warns Chambers not to touch native plants

Apprehension: He can’t get anyone to tell him which plants are native.

Denial: The old lady’s a bit demented

Fear: The old lady’s a bit demented

7. EXT. RIVER – DAY

Chambers tells Lorette about Megarette’s warning.

Horror situation: River overflows swamping the garden with parasites

Apprehension: Lorette tells him about the darkness she sees in the old woman.

Denial: Chambers plays it down as her imagination.

Anxiety: Lorette surmises what if she’s right? What if his garden plants are native?

Suspense: He tries to filter the parasites through one of her silk undergarments

Dread: She watches him taste it.

Anguish: He vomits blood.

Panic: She searches everywhere for Alessa’s potion.

Release: She finds it, forces him to drink it. He’s instantly cured.

Suspense: She’ll try boiling the water.

8. EXT. COTTAGE / GARDEN – DAY

River continues to rise. Chambers builds a berm around his garden.

9. EXT. CASTLE – DAY

Megarette dies from bees in her glass of wine, stinging her insides.

ACT 2

10. INT. COTTAGE – NIGHT

Chambers warns Lorette not to go to Ossimon’s by herself .

11. EXT. CASTLE – DAY

Lorette and Chambers attend a gala for Stephatta. Stephatta amuses Lorette with lurid stories .

Horror situation: Lorette sees same darkness in Stephatta.

Apprehension: Lorette sticks close to Ossimon

Denial: When she’s with Ossimon, she doesn’t see the darkness.

Anxiety Ossimon drifts away from her to be with the gypsy women

Fear: Lorette feels shadowed by Stephatta, tries to evade her.

Release: Stephatta leaves her to join a more rowdy group somewhere else in the castle

Panic: Ossimon invites Lorette to the noisier party.

Denial: Lorette likes his attention and her reduced inhibition around the gypsies

Apprehension: Stephatta invites her to dance with the gypsy women

Anxiety: Lorette declines Stephatta’s offer to teach her how to dance

Fear: Lorette sees an even deeper darkness in her.

12. EXT. PATH – NIGHT

Vintner’s wife escorts Lorette home, and is bitten by a poisonous snake with no effect on her.

13 INT. COTTAGE – NIGHT

Chambers won’t let Lorette attend Stephatta’s gypsy amusements.

14. EXT. COTTAGE – DAY

River continues to rise. Larger more dangerous predators swim in the flood.

Alessa brings them a pair of tiny fish to clean predators from the water.

Horror situation: Alessa’s tiny fish kill predators larger than themselves.

Anxiety: Lorette tries to get rid of them with a net she makes of Chambers’ shirts.

Fear: She runs inside because the fish eat the shirts right out of her hand.

Dread: She finds ammunition for the rifle and blasts the fish.

Panic: The river breaches the berm. Chambers kills fish with a machete.

Hysteria: Lorette runs out of ammunition.

Release: Chambers escapes into the cottage. Lorette flees to the castle.

MIDPOINT

15. INT. CASTLE / BOUDOIR – DAY

Lorette’s shadow leaves her to follow her reflection in the mirror.

Horror Situation: Audience sees her shadow leave, but she does not see it.

Denial: She seems perfectly comfortable without a shadow.

Suspense: She gets cold in the corridor and returns to the room for a jacket.

Shock: She sees her shadow in the mirror act independently of her own movements.

Panic: She runs into the corridor without her jacket.

16. INT. CASTLE / CORRIDOR – CONTINUOUS

Half-dressed, she meets Ossimon. She struggles to escape his charm.

Horror situation: His shadow consumes her shadow on the wall.

Panic / Relief: He oscillates between threatening and nurturing, death and life.

Denial: She decides on his warmth, stirred even by the evil she sees in him.

Suspense: She flirts with him.

Apprehension: He controls her, but she pretends she’s letting him.

17. EXT. COTTAGE – DAY

Horror situation: Wolves attack Chambers on his way to the castle.

Anxiety: He barely escapes into the cottage.

Surprise: The wolves leap at the windows and the door.

Terror: One breaks the window. He kills it with a kitchen knife. His machete is outside!

Panic: He uses a sword to kill the wolves.

Suspense: The wolves stop attacking, but wait and watch.

Release: He sets traps.

18. INT. CASTLE – NIGHT

Gypsy women give Lorette a bath. Make her wait for Ossimon.

Horror situation: Ossimon ties her to a stake, calls for a whip

Anxiety: She fights the gypsies, but can’t escape their hold on her.

Suspense: He tickles her with the whip.

Terror: He whips her three times.

Horror situation: ravens peck to death a naked woman in the bath Lorette had just been in.

Hysteria: Lorette screams for help.

Release: They cut her down, and dress her in the clothes she came in.

Act 3

19. EXT. PATH – DAY

She traipses home as the sun rises.

20. EXT. COTTAGE – DAY

The wolves flee when they see her.

21. INT. COTTAGE – DAY

Chambers wraps her in a towel and runs a bath.

Horror situation: If he gives her a bath, he will see her scars.

Apprehension: She refuses the bath.

Anxiety: She’s almost too weak to resist.

Dread: She huddles in the corner, acting crazy so he’ll leave her alone.

Panic: He demands details of her night at the castle. She screams he’s trying to kill her.

Release: He tries to comfort her. She lets him think he is.

River rises to their door. Animals float by. Vultures pick at the corpses.

Horror situation: vultures mill about outside their door

Surprise: Vultures stay after the water rises. Chambers and Lorette try to scare them

Anxiety: Vultures don’t scare. The couple cling to each other.

Panic: Lorette throws rocks at them. They squawk, sounding like laughter.

Hysteria: She hacks wildly at the air with the sword still stained with wolf blood.

He locks her in the basement.

Horror Situation: basement floods, rats swim around and over and under her

Anxiety: Lorette bats at the rats, pushes them away.

Terror: The rats bite her. She swims, climbs the stairs.

Panic: The door’s locked. She can’t get out. She pounds on the door.

Hysteria: Rats leap at door, gnaw and claw the wood. They squeal and roar as they die.

Release: Door crumbles. She and the rats float free.

Horror situation: water rises along with various vermin and predators.

Terror: Lorette and Chambers climb the stairs to her studio in the attic.

Panic: Dives into the rising water.

Hysteria: Creatures attack her. Chambers drags her upstairs and shuts the door .

Horror Situation: Chambers can’t hold onto Lorette.

Panic: He tries to reach her with one good lunge.

Release: He catches her hand and drags her to the dormer where water hasn’t reached.

He performs mouth-to-mouth. She kisses him. He falls into water. Snakes kill him.

Horror situation: Lorette watches Chambers die a painful death.

Anguish: She screams, wails, rends her face with her fingernails.

She drags his body to her. Holds his cold face to hers. His eyes are open, peer into her as if he’s alive with full knowledge of her guilt and corruption.

Horror situation: She holds her husband’s corpse while monstrous fish feed on him.

Hysteria: She lets his bones go. Screams at the fish to take her. Dives into liquid hell.

She survives. Watches his bones float out the door as water quickly recedes back to the river.

22. EXT. COTTAGE – DAY

Horror situation: Lorette gathers her husband’s bones.

Anguish: Alessa accuses her of desecrating animals, when she tasted the lamb.

Surprise / Horror: Chambers’ bones turn to dust. She scatters his dust in his garden.

NEED AN EARLIER SCENE WHERE THE THREE EUMENIDES GATHER AND DEBATE Lorette’s violation of the morality of food, whereas Chambers nurtured the morality of life.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Larry Fraller’s Scary-As-Hell Scene

END OF ACT 1

Horror situation: Unknown motive.

Vintner sends servant girl to bring water from the river.

Sequence of Horror Emotions: Anxiety to shock

What emotions go in between: Apprehension, suspense, dread, horror, shock

Give a physical action that could cause each emotion:

Apprehension: Lorette’s painting adds an element of its own when the river water gets streaks of red in it from the blistering sun

Suspense: When Chambers agrees to tour the vineyards, Vintner sends servant girl to fetch water from the stream

Dread: Lorette hears a hideous howling from where she can see the servant girl, alone.

Horror: Lorette runs to the girl with a machete. Finds her surrounded by wolves.

Shock: The wolves attack the girl. She raises her machete to fight them off the girl. The wolves snarl at her. Lorette’s not that brave. She helplessly watches the wolves shred her to the bone.

SCENE

EXT. COTTAGE – DAY

Lorette sits in the sun convalescing from her recent fever. She paints her view of the stream, with branches hanging over.

Chambers chats with Vintner in the garden.

Vintner’s Servant Girl watches Lorette paint. What Girl doesn’t see is the two eyes that appear in the painting in the dark woods beyond the stream. Then two more and two more.

DIALOGUE

A foul smell rises from their well, like a carcass.

Vintner sends Servant Girl to fetch water from the stream. She’s reluctant, but goes.

DIALOGUE

about her reluctance

Vintner and Chambers bid her goodbye as they start to leave to tour the vineyard.

DIALOGUE

Lorette pleads with them to wait until Girl gets back. Just in case.

DIALOGUE

Chambers plays down her over active imagination.

Vintner says his wife is perfectly able to take care of herself. He downplays her reluctance because she distrusts outsiders until she gets to know them, after which she treats you like family.

Lorette points to her painting, but the eyes aren’t there.

DIALOGUE

Vintner praises her painting that it seems so real it could come to life.

Vintner and Chambers leave.

A hideous growl from the river.

Lorette finds Chamber’s machete and hurries as best she can to the stream, still weak from her fever.

She calls to the peasant girl. A wolf charges at her. She cuts it in half with one stroke of the machete.

She gets closer. Another wolf races at her, meets the same fate.

More snarls and growls. She finds peasant girl surrounded by wolves. Lorette screams at them. The don’t leave. They watch Lorette with the same eyes in the painting.

She’s not that brave. Horrified, but fascinated by the ravenous beasts, she can’t take her eyes off the wolves even as they attack the girl, eating through muscle and fat down to the bone.

The wolves lope through the stream and disappear into the woods beyond.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Larry Fraller’s Scares, Releases, and Creepy moments!

What I learned doing this assignment is there are really cool ways to scare people, and then give them a chance to calm down before hitting them with something even scarier. Way cool!

SETTING: Dinner beneath the tree where Lorette is pressured to eat meat, though she’s a vegetarian.

OUTLINE:

Ossimon greets Chambers and Lorette, charming her.

They discuss the vinyard while food is brought.

Megarette cautions them to taste everything but finish nothing. It’s tradition.

Lorette is pressured to taste the lamb, though she’s a vegetarian. She does, and likes it. She’s been starved for meat for so long that she practically inhales the lamb on her plate.

Megarette frowns disapproval when Lorette avoids the lamb. Smiles when Lorette gives in.

Lorette sees darkness in Megarette, feels a cold draft from the old woman. both when she smiles and when she frowns.

SCENE:

EXT. CASTLE GROUNDS – DAY

Gothic hand-carved wooden table beneath a spreading tree. Benches on both sides. Set for 6, an intimate affair of local foods and wine and bright conversation.

Prince Ossimon welcomes Chambers and Lorette with a sweeping gesture, and a charming kiss on her hand.

She blushes and pulls away from him, hiding behind Chambers, playfully.

OSSIMON

So good of you to come. I had concerns that our humble ways might not live up to your standards. But here you are.

CHAMBERS

Here we are.

LORETTE

This place is fabulous.

Ossimon’s shadow slides an inch towards her. Unsure, she watches it grow closer. When it touches her feet, she leaps backwards against Chambers.

The shadow retreats quickly to Ossimon, retreats entirely into his body.

Chambers steadies Lorette on her feet, a bit rough.

CHAMBERS

You’ll have to excuse my wife. We’re not used to such fancy fare.

OSSIMON

She’s an artist. Perhaps she finds the real world a bit underwhelming.

She catches her breath, puts herself back together.

LORETTE

We don’t have any standards compares to this.

OSSIMON

I blush at your compliments. Perhaps you’ll discover other behaviors that exceed your expectations.

MEGARETTE

Sit. Wherever you choose, but we locals will sit in the shade, so that you may bathe in the splendor of our magical sunlight.

Ossimon whispers in Lorette’s ear. She blushes.

The Vintner diverts Chambers’ attention.

VINTNER

Perhaps the gentleman would appreciate a walk through our ancient vines, renowned for the most sensuous of wines.

VINTNER’S WIFE

Some say we produce the world’s only true aphrodisiac.

Vintner secretly smiles at a tender-aged SERVANT GIRL.

VINTER

I like to think so.

Servant girl escapes to the kitchen at the rear of the castle.

VINTNER’S WIFE

But it’s just gossip, I assure you.

Vintner pinches Wife’s butt. She lets out a squeal and a little fart.

OSSIMON

I’m of the same opinion.

Lorette leans in close to Chambers.

LORETTE

(whispers)

Which opinion?

Ossimon grins. In the shade of the massive tree, his shadow grows darker, larger, with long fingers that creep towards her, while Ossimon’s fingers remain rigid with formality.

OSSIMON

You be the judge. Perhaps the lady would care to lift a toast to her hosts and hostesses.

He hands Lorette a crystal glass, sparkling with sunshine. His eyes glow like heated iron. His shadow grows towards her. No one else seems to notice, or even see what she sees.

Vintner pours a proper draft all around.

Lorette raises her glass, nerves on edge, spills wine onto Ossimon’s shadow. A wisp of smoke rises from the shadow which shrinks to its normal size.

LORETTE

(voice cracks)

I’m terrible at speeches. Chambers?

Chambers shrugs. He raises his glass. Ossimon jumps in, raising his glass and asserting his charm.

Lorette sighs. Chambers rubs her back.

OSSIMON

In this dark world, may we always find light. In the cold, the heat to warm our lives.

Lorette applauds, sees the others are not, continues softly, fading to silence.

They toast. They sit.

CHAMBERS

A little over-eager. She gets emotional.

LORETTE

At formal occasions.

If looks could burn, she’d have set Chambers on fire every moment since they arrived. With a little wine in her – watch out.

Servant girl and an AGED WOMAN bring out splendid dishes of sumptuous salads and savory meats.

OSSIMON

This lamb is one of our own. Slaughtered this very morning.

Aged woman bows.

OSSIMON

I pride myself in ending their precious sentience with minimal pain.

SERVANT GIRL

What I do is I smack the shit out of the little fuckers before they know what hits them.

Aged woman drags servant girl to the kitchen, muttering at each other as they go.

Megarette sits across from Lorette.

MEGARETTE

It’s our castle’s tradition to taste everything served, but leave some of each for the servants and other animals we keep.

CHAMBERS

Love it. A tithing in reverse.

Lorette pokes at the lamb on her plate.

OSSIMON

Yes? Is it not to your liking?

LORETTE

I’m a vegetarian.

Megarette frowns with harsh intent.

MEGARETTE

You dare defy our tradition?

Lorette smells the lamb, presses her fork against it. Slides the meat around on her plate.

LORETTE

I gave up meat in college when my roommate brought her pet bunny from home. How could anyone even once hold an animal and look into its eyes, then ever bite into their flesh and muscles and –

She sees Megarette’s eyes turn black like polished obsidian.

A frigid draft shuts down Lorette’s ability to speak. Her words devolve into trembling gibberish.

OSSIMON

I embrace your pain. These animals have such innocent eyes, and appear tamed, even domesticated. But all fantasy aside, they are in the end, little beasties with black hearts wreaking of lust and loose bowels.

CHAMBERS

Go ahead and at least give it a taste. No harm in that.

Lorette slices a tiny piece of the lamb, bites into it, savors it. Digs in and gobbles the rest until there’s nothing but juice left on the plate. In her eagerness, she licks the plate clean.

OSSIMON

Well done!

Megarette smiles, her eyes, blacker than before and without their luster, pierce deep into Lorette.

LORETTE

I’m not feeling so good. Would you excuse us, if we left early? Please?

She tucks an arm under Chamber’s arm and tugs him to his feet.

MEGARETTE

But of course.

OSSIMON

Perhaps another time – soon.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Larry Fraller’s Level 3 Horror Emotion Scene

What I learned doing this assignment is to sequence emotion/horror situations. And while brainstorming, I can come up with situations for fun without pressure to fit it into plot or structure. Some of my ideas don’t fit ,but they’re fun.

ANGUISH, PANIC, HORROR, AND HYSTERIA

INT. COTTAGE – ATTIC – DAY

Lorette paints in the sunlight coming through the upstairs window, looking down at Chambers tending his field of flowers, which is the painting’s subject.

EXT. COTTAGE – GARDENS – CONTINUOUS

INTERCUT – ATTIC / GARDENS

She sees a snake attack Chambers. He hacks it to pieces with a spade he uses to cut weeds from his garden.

LORETTE

Chambers! Snake! By your foot.

CHAMBERS

Everything’s fine. Go back to your painting.

She sees the dying snake’s venom shoot at him with the snake’s final convulsion. But it doesn’t seem to bother him.

LORETTE

Careful. Its venom might still be active and –

CHAMBERS

Speak up! It takes a while for you voice to travel this far. What’s that you’re going on about?

LORETTE

Too weird.

She turns back to her painting and sees the snake, which she had not painted.

LORETTE

You better come up here and see this.

CHAMBERS

Busy right now.

The hacked snake isn’t anywhere to be seen. No blood, or anything.

LORETTE

Better watch out it doesn’t have babies. I’ve heard babies have the same amount of poison.

CHAMBERS

I know we’re not planning any kids yet. But calling them poisonous? You’re scaring me.

LORETTE

Where’d that snake go? Oh my God. What’s going on here? Are you okay?

Chambers ignores her.

Frantic, she’s looks at her painting, then out the window, the stream flows fast and full, almost to the top of the bank.

Next she looks the river is rising fast. With lightning speed it overflows the bank and

heads directly at Chambers.

LORETTE

Chambers! The stream’s getting full and – Oh fuck me with a whip! It’s getting really weird now.

Her painting is smothered with green paint.

She runs downstairs to the garden. Chambers is digging a ditch around the garden.

CHAMBERS

Go back inside. You’ll only get in the way. Gonna flood us any minute.

Lorette dips her hands in the water. Digs up mud and lets it run down her arms, ecstatic.

LORETTE

Oh thank God. It’s real.

CHAMBERS

Look at you! Careful it doesn’t pull you under.

Lorette screams.

CHAMBERS

You’re not helping the situation.

She grabs him and tries to force him to the house.

LORETTE

We’re gonna drown.

The water rises to their knees. They run to the house. She stumbles. He grabs her up and carries her.

Suddenly, he stops. He can’t speak. Can’t even point.

Two bodies float towards them.

Lorette screams.

She recognizes the two corpses as the two gypsy girls who ran the bath for her at the castle.

LORETTE

Oh fuck, Chambers. This is horrible. Most horrible.

She pushes him to the house. The dead gypsies get between them and the house.

CHAMBERS

What the fuck?

LORETTE 

It’s like they’re after me. I just know it.

CHAMBERS

Just get inside. We have to get a message to someone.

INT. COTTAGE – CONTINUOUS

He locks the door and closes all the windows.

Lorette runs upstairs. The gypsies are not in her painting. Streaks of red course through the green mass. It smells like blood. Outside, the flood water turns red as she’s watching it.

She runs downstairs. The water hasn’t reached the house yet.

LORETTE

I know it’s me. The paintings are coming to life. Those bodies? I don’t remember if I painted them or not. The other night, when I didn’t come home until the sun came up –

CHAMBERS

Not now. Keep your sordid affairs out of this house. Do you understand?

LORETTE

But there’s more to what I told you about.

CHAMBERS

Do I have to lock you in the basement?

LORETTE

The Prince, he – and the girls – and the whip and

He grabs her and tosses into the basement. She bounds and rolls down the stairs. He locks her in.

LORETTE (CONT)

I can’t keep it to myself any longer. What they did to me. Or maybe you’ll never know. Maybe I’ll take my secrets back to the castle.

CHAMBERS (O.S.)

Take them with you to the grave for all I care.

Water seeps into the basement through its concrete walls. Rats squeal and scramble around her, climb her legs, bite her legs, climb up her arms to her neck.

She bats them away, but they cling to her.

LORETTE

Let me out of here. I promise I’ll be good. I swear it. I’ll do anything you want. You’re a saint. A goddamn saint if you let me out.

She screams.

CHAMBERS

Stay down there all night for all I care. I am so sick of your fantasies and lies.

The water rises quickly to her knees, then to her waist. It reaches her bodice and she dives under the water to shake the rats from their hold on her.

She comes up for air. The rats let go, screaming at one another as they scramble to the door. They swarm the door, gnawing and chewing the heavy wood.

In a matter of minutes, they break through the door. Water falls them into the kitchen.

He opens the door to let her out while he chases the rats with a machete, slashing and thrashing them as the water carries him and the rats higher into the attic.

But she can’t swim. The water’s over her head. She kicks off the floor, but can’t stay up long enough to catch a breath. Three more tries, and she has no breath left.

Her body floats into the kitchen where the two gypsy are jammed between to chairs.

As the water rises higher, he flees up the stairs to the attic.

Lorette’s green and red paint no longer conceals the images. He sees the one with the snake.

CHAMBERS

Get in here.

Her body floats into the room, knocking over an easel with a painting of herself on a tropical island wading nude, oblivious to the sharks circling her.

The painting changes right before his eyes. He’s the one in the water. The sharks are piranhas.

The real water rises. He climbs into a closet, as high as he can go. The water stops rising.

Her corpse follows him like some kind of monster. Her eyes are open and appear to be watching him.

Piranhas race towards him. He holds her body in the water as a shield between him and the fish.

The piranhas devour Lorette’s flesh down to her skeleton. Soon as she’s reduced to bones, the water recedes, the fish depart, her paintings melt into a slushy mess.

With trembling arms, his body wracked with sobbing, his mind frozen with terror, he carries her bones downstairs. The river returns to its bank. Outside her bones turn to dust in his fingers.

Without realizing what he’s doing, his brain a fogbank, he scatters her dust in his garden.

Alessa appears, as does Stephatta and the Prince encircle him, chanting weird words about destiny and the imbalance of nature that Lorette brought on herself by giving eating meat which she had sworn she would never do. (I’ll write their chants, etc at a later time)

[Lawrence Fraly]

Larry Fraller’s Level 2 Horror Emotion Scene

What I learned doing this assignment is that I like writing about witches. And other weird psychological stuff. In some ways, I feel it’s not quite the structure of a slasher movie, so I don’t have to get grotesque and bloody, so long as the audience gets a good scare that frightens them for even days after they see the movie…or read the book.

ESSENCE: The expectation of torture or death

Fear: sense of impending danger, not expected death for characters

Suspense: Set up consequence, then delay the delivery

Dread: Require characters to face a known danger head on

INT. CASTLE – TOWER – NIGHT

Two gypsy women escort Lorette up the winding stone stairway.

When she hesitates, they urge her higher. Their shadows paint ghastly figures on the walls.

LORETTE

My husband’s going to worry sick if I stay much longer. He doesn’t like me out after dark.

GYPSY ONE

Dark? Not with the moon so bright tonight. See for yourself. Like liquid sky.

LORETTE

I meant the late –

She gasps as they usher her into a room lit by candles, and ripe with moonlight pouring in a tall window.

A luxurious couch stretches along one wall.

Beneath the lone window, steam rises from a large bath, scenting the air with lavender and cinnamon.

The two gypsy women shed their capes, but leave on their masks through which their dark eyes gleam with a light of their own.

They remove Lorette’s cape and mask. She tries to hold onto her costume, but their fingers are fast, deft, unabashed.

In seconds, they have her down to her undergarments, then out of those, while the women themselves remain clothed.

LORETTE

It’s a little chilly, don’t you think?

The two gypsies lift her into the tub with arms as strong as any man’s. And fingers cold as death.

She squirms but they hold her in.

GYPSY ONE

It won’t be long now.

LORETTE

The water’s getting cold.

GYPSY TWO

It won’t stay cold.

LORETTE

But there’s no door. And the window’s wide open. I only just yesterday recovered from a fever.

GYPSY ONE

The view will take your breath away.

GYPSY TWO

And your eyesight. On a bright day.

LORETTE

But the doorway. There’s a cold draft.

GYPSY ONE

Why, you’re trembling like a doe beneath a skinner’s knife.

GYPSY TWO

Be assured, nothing here will hurt you.

GYPSY ONE

This room is sanctified.

The gypsies laugh, echoing through the massive room. The candles flicker.

LORETTE

I’d like to go now.

She tries to climb out but the gypsies corral her, one at her feet and the other behind her head. They work their fingers along her neck and ankles.

LORETTE

That’s nice, but –

GYPSY ONE

She’s trembling.

GYPSY TWO

She’s afraid of something.

GYPSY ONE

But there’s nothing in this room to be afraid of.

GYPSY TWO

You’re safe here, unless –

Their fingers pin her down, her face nearly underwater, except for her nose –

and her eyes.

GYPSY ONE

Unless you aren’t.

A shadow appears on the ceiling. Elongated, it grows. She smells leather. Their hands lift her so she can see Ossimon approach.

His alabaster skin seems to glow of its own accord. His grin pierces the night. His lingering eyes heat the water around her belly and underneath.

She sinks into the bath, but there’s no escape. The gypsies bar the door. Ossimon massages her feet. She squirms, but her body has a mind of its own.

LORETTE

My prince.

She hears herself say.

OSSIMON

Yours? Who possesses who?

The gypsy women remove his outer garments. Beneath, he wears a silken white doublet and pants so tight it takes both gypsies to tug them free.

Their unabashed fingers linger longer than necessary. They cackle as he pries them loose.

Lorette uses their distraction to escape the tub. But she has no clothes.

OSSIMON

Cold?

He wraps her in an embroidered cloak. With one hand, he pulls her close.

Lorette coos. Her lips have a mind of their own. She opens her mouth for a kiss.

Ossimon’s fingers squeeze her lips together.

OSSIMON

I don’t think your husband would approve.

Ossimon snaps his fingers again.

LORETTE

He doesn’t know.

The gypsies wind a skein of red yarn around Lorette and force her to her knees.

Ossimon drags her across the room to a post she had not seen before. A wooden stake, large enough to hold her upright.

The gypsies remove the cloak.

OSSIMON

He’ll know by the marks on your body, if you ever dare intimacy with him or anyone else after tonight.

LORETTE

He’ll kill you.

He answers with the crack of a whip. Then another and another.

GYPSY ONE

Only three?

GYPSY TWO

She’s not as special as she thought.

They remove her bonds and plunge her into the bath.

OSSIMON

Never. No one is ever as –

STEPHATTA

Warm as yourself?

The gnarled old woman hovers over Ossimon and Lorette.

OSSIMON

Of course not.

STEPHATTA

They have no choice.

She fills the bath with ice.

Ossimon lifts Lorette quaking from the icy bath and burning from the whip. He walks her to the door.

Unclothed, she flees down the stairs. Behind her, she hears a WOMAN SCREAM.

Stephatta appears in front of Lorette, blocking the stairs.

Forced back to the room, she sees another naked woman in the tub. The bathwater near boiling. Ravens darken the window. They fight each other, pecking the terrified woman, through flesh and fat until nothing but her skeleton remains.

The gypsies dress Lorette in the clothes she came in. Stephatta escorts her to the gate.

OSSIMON

Did you forget something?

Lorette tries to run, but her legs won’t let her.

OSSIMON

This?

He kisses her passionately.

STEPHATTA

Do give Chambers our love.

The sun rises. Lorette traipses home.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Larry Fraller’s Level 1 Horror Emotion Scene

What I learned doing this assignment is to build emotional intensity gradually, after first showing the audience what danger really lurks ahead. But I don’t know how to do that with this story, unless I do put the Eumenides first. As witches, as in Macbeth. But for now, I’m doing the opening scene.

OUTLINE OF SCENE FROM ACT 1

Apprehension

Alessa enters and greets them about following traditions

Surprise

Lorette paints picture of castle with prince riding towards her on a steed with a falcon on his arm. Picture seems to come to life as prince drives a white car from castle, but in her imagination he’s riding a white horse.

Shock

In the castle window, a woman appears with black holes for eyes, which Lorette can see, but did not paint. Chambers doesn’t see it, says Lorette’s imagination is running away from reality.

This is the opening scene, as it stands now.

SCENE:

EXT. COTTAGE – DAY

LORETTE sits at an easel in the sunlight, painting the castle on the side of the mountain to the east of them with a prince riding towards them on a white steed.

Her husband CHAMBERS plants seeds by hand in rows of rich black soil.

APPREHENSION:

ALESSA, wrinkled hunchback woman, steps from behind a tree, watches before advancing to the young couple.

Her sudden appearance so startles Chambers that he scatters a handful of seeds everywhere.

Lorette slashes a blob of black paint above the castle.

LORETTE

Oh my!

ALESSA

I’m Alessa. It’s my task to welcome strangers to our community.

CHAMBERS

Well, you’ve certainly made an impression on my wife. Lorette gets so deep into her painting, she hardly knows there’s a world outside her fantasies.

Alessa digs in the pockets of her scarlet apron for a mason jar of honey. She offers the honey to them.

ALESSA

May you both experience the richness of our life here. We raise bees for honey, and as pollinators for the castle vineyards. The vines are as ancient as the soil itself. No one touches them except the vintner and his servant girl.

Chambers opens the jar and dips his finger in.

Before he can touch the honey, Lorette snatches it from his hand and gives him a scolding look.

LORETTE

Chambers knows better. But he forgets about touching food with his hands. Especially something easily contaminated. Can you believe he dips his spoon in yoghurt? After he licks it. Everyone knows saliva digests dairy. Yuck.

She pours a slow drop of honey onto her finger, touches her tongue to it.

Suspense strangles the air, awaiting Lorette’s approval or not. She grins ear to ear. Pours large goops of honey, licking her fingers like a child with ice cream.

CHAMBERS

She’s a vegetarian.

ALESSA

There’s no meat in our honey.

CHAMBERS

I only meant –

SURPRISE

ALESSA

Then she’ll be pleased with my next gift.

She lifts a small basket from her apron. When Chambers opens his hand, Alessa turns away from him.

CHAMBERS

For her. I get it. Woman to woman.

ALESSA

Your hands are covered with soil.

Chambers wipes them on a rag.

Alessa lays the basket at Lorette’s feet.

CHAMBERS

But her hands are slimed with your other gift. Much nastier than mine.

ALESSA

She understands the morality of food.

Alessa cleans Lorette’s hands with a potion from her apron.

Chambers holds out his hands, but Alessa stows the vial into her apron.

ALESSA

No no no! Do not open it unless your garden dies, and you’re bones poke through from starvation. Learn our traditions and follow them. Both of you.

LORETTE

But how –

ALESSA

Do what others do. Avoid what others avoid. By all means, do not violate our moralities.

With that admonition, the old woman disappears into the forest.

Neither touches the basket.

LORETTE

Did you feel that cold draft when she opened the basket? And I’ll tell you something else, she has a darkness in her.

CHAMBERS

You and your imagination. Her and her rules.

She returns to her painting. He returns to his planting.

CHAMBERS

Right out of Grimm’s Fairy Tales.

LORETTE

Those aren’t fairy tales. They’re parables.

CHAMBERS

Alright. Then DisneyLand.

SHOCK

Lorette screams. Chambers rushes to her. She’s pale as Sleeping Beauty.

She points her brush at the painting. Words choke in her throat. He examines the picture.

CHAMBERS

What’s your fantasies done to you this time?

She yanks him to his knees.

LORETTE

There! The window. I didn’t paint that. I would never –in the window. She’s got no eyes. Hollow black holes where her eyes should be!

[Lawrence Fraly]

Larry Fraller’s Horror Outline Version 1

What I learned is a better understanding of what a horror situation is, and to look at my script from beginning to end as a single story rather than just scenes, and to do a setup/reveal of the monster, not putting them at the beginning as the three witches. However, the three witches still intrigues me. Perhaps somewhere later in the script, as a twist, as one of the characters – Lorette sees the darkness in all three older women, and through her painting maybe their evil starts to show their faces to her. I know this is a mess, but it’s not even a first draft. Unsure any longer where the acts end and begin. But that’ll come, hopefully.

SET UP FOR HORROR

ATMOSPHERE OF EVIL ESTABLISHED

(Later when something goes wrong for them: Megarette dies? or Prince gets emotionally attached to Lorette, for which he is chastised by Megarette?

As a twist at end of Act 1?)

ACT 1

EXT. COTTAGE – DAY

LORETTE paints a picture of the castle with a prince riding towards her.

CHAMBERS, Lorette’s husband plants seeds and seedlings.

PRINCE OSSIMON drives from the castle to greet them and invite them to dinner in their honor.

Lorette accepts the invitation eagerly. Chambers hesitates but agrees because Lorette does.

As Ossimon drives off, ALESSA, an old village woman advises them not to break the traditions, which they can only learn by doing what others do and avoiding what others avoid. Lorette shudders at a darkness she sees in her. Chambers doesn’t.

After Ossimon leaves, Lorette urges Chambers pick her a rose, fantasizing he’s the prince.

EXT. CASTLE GROUNDS UNDER A TREE – DAY

Ossimon welcomes and charms them. Lorette’s a vegetarian, and refuses the lamb until MEGARETTE, Ossimon’s elderly aunt frowns at her. Lorette shudders at the same darkness in her as in Alessa.

Invites Chambers to tour his vinyard next day.

Vintner eats with them.

INT. COTTAGE – NIGHT

Lorette sick with fever.

Alessa brings Lorette a potion to calm her fever.

The potion attracts gnats that swarm Chambers.

Lorette dreams Chambers keeps her in a dungeon.

EXT. COTTAGE – DAY

Their well water turns foul. The plants shrivel.

Vintner comes to take Chambers to the vinyard. He orders a servant girl with him to fetch water from the creek because Lorette is sick and Chambers is obliged to do as the Prince says.

EXT. RIVER – DAY

When servant girl doesn’t return, they find her dead in the creek, the water poisoned by her corpse.

EXT. COTTAGE – DAY

Alessa blames Lorette for the servant girl’s death because she touched the rose. No one touches any plants not native to the area. Of course, Lorette had no way of knowing that.

EXT. VINYARD – CONTINUOUS

Bees swarm the vines, stinging Chambers.

Megarette treats him with salve.

EXT. RIVER – CONTINUOUS

Chambers fetches water from upstream from where the girl died.

EXT. COTTAGE – CONTINUOUS

He ridicules Lorette’s for taking Alessa’s warning seriously.

River overflows and washes out the roads. Lorette says it’s a curse for him picking the rose like Alessa said.

EXT. COTTAGE – CONTINUOUS

Chambers builds a berm to keep the flood out.

Prince sends for Lorette to attend another dinner.

INT. CASTLE – DAY

Prince tells Lorette about ancient rituals no longer permitted, salacious tales she believes.

Megarette says there never were any and that it’s only his imagination to challenge her domesticity.

Megarette opens a bottle of wine. Bees swarm her. She bats them away without injury to herself.

When she drinks the wine, bees sting her inside and she is laid up in bed, paralyzed.

INT. COTTAGE – NIGHT

Lorette describes the dinner and Megarette’s demise to Chambers.

Chambers warns her not to go over there by herself any more. We learn now that he had told her not to the day before when he was building the berm.

EXT. CASTLE – DAY

Stephatta arrives in limo with entourage of gypsy men and women.

Lorette and Chambers attend a gala in her honor.

Chambers fatigues easily, Lorette remains, entertained by the gypsy music and dancing.

Prince and Stephatta amuse her with stories of their past escapades.

Lorette feels the coldness again, sees Stephatta’s darkness.

Megarette appears at top of stairs, crawled from her bed, trailing bedsheets like a banshee behind her. Everyone freezes, melts into the shadows.

Prince escorts Lorette to the door, has Vintner take her home.

EXT. PATH – NIGHT

Vintner bitten by a snake. He twists off its head with bare hands. The snake is nonpoisonous. Reptiles from the river pursue them in the dark.

Lorette makes it home safely.

Chambers laments his garden dying from bad water.

Alessa brings them exotic fish to clean the waters. Warns them not to get too close to the fish.

INT. CASTLE – NIGHT

Festive gala and dinner. Chambers gets drunk, passes out. Lorette half-drunk, loses her inhibitions and joins the gypsies dancing wildly and flirting with the men. Women taunt her to dance more and more wildly.

EXT. CASTLE – NIGHT

Lorette leaves castle as sun’s coming up.

EXT. COTTAGE – NIGHT

The three old women (Eumenides) standing in the flood, chanting as in Macbeth.

Lorette witnesses without being seen.

INT. COTTAGE – DAY

Lorette returns from castle, tries to wake Chambers to tell him about the old women.

He’s too hungover to listen.

She finds spider on her pillow, puts it on his hand, wakes him.

He freaks out. Runs into flood to get spider off. Nipped by exotic fish.

INT. COTTAGE – DAY

Chambers swells from fish bites.

Alessa brings salve. (She visits every day)

Salve doesn’t work.

Lorette goes to get salve from Megarette.

When she leaves, wolves attack Chambers. He locks all entrances to cottage.

INT. CASTLE – DAY

Rain traps Lorette in the castle.

Stephatta gives her a warm bath.

Prince climbs into the bath with her.

The bath heats up. Her skin burns. He boils to death.

She panics and can’t find her clothes.

Gypsies tie her to a post and flog her in wild orgy of pain, blood and erotic dancing.

Stephatta and Megarette chase the gypsies away and dress her and lead her outside, shutting the gate behind her.

EXT PATH – DAY

Vultures circle while she slogs through mud.

Wolves howl at her, but don’t attack.

INT. COTTAGE – DAY

Wolves get in. Attack Chambers.

She and Chambers kill them.

River rises. Bodies float.

Water rises in the house.

Rats attack swarm to escape flood.

Chambers and she are separated by the swirling bloody water

Lorette drowns. He can’t save her.

Large fish consume the rats.

He climbs to attic just ahead of rising water.

Her body floats to him, eyes open as if alive.

Piranhas attack him. He uses her body as shield to keep them back.

When the fish devour her down to a skeleton, the water recedes, leaving her bones at his feet.

Alessa directs him to bury Lorette near the roses Lorette loved so much.

Megarette and Stephatta come to pay their respects.

EXT. COTTAGE – NIGHT

As he digs the grave, the Eumenides chant and close in around him.

He backs into the roses. The more he tries to free himself, the deeper he plunges into the roses where the thorns pierce and torture him.

He watches helplessly as Lorette’s bones turn to dust which the Eumenides inhale.

Their final words something about searching for the next guilty conscience.

He asks what he’s done to cause him such pain.

They say, he stood by and allowed his wife to … blah blah blech.

The Eumenides morph into grotesque creatures and disappear into thin air.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Larry Fraller’s Character Journey Track

What I learned doing this assignment is I have too many characters! I need to find which are necessary to the essence of the plot. Also, character profile and journey is a bit different for horror.

LORETTE

PROFILE

Role: Victim/cause of the horror

Traits: Selfless, repressed, adventurous, fantasizes

Fears: aging

Wants/Needs: Want to be rescued by a prince and live in a castle, free of the rules and boredom of her life. Need to feel guilt for eating meat, but she feels no guilt. She feels relief to be freed of her own restrictions and inhibitions

Likability: She’s practically a Disney character, at least in her own imagination, sweet natured, and caring about and for animals, even after giving up being vegetarian

How they react under stress: She doesn’t even recognize stress until it’s too late, then she panics.

Relationship with other characters: Loves her husband but bored with his life style. Everyone loves her, some love her too much, and she doesn’t know where to draw the line. The old women despise her.

JOURNEY

Character intro: Painting a fantasy of prince coming from castle. Perhaps with some kind of evil or trapped damsel in an upper window.

Denial: She denies the old woman’s warnings about keeping traditions because she has no idea what that means. She lives in a fantasy world where good always wins over evil.

Their reaction to first horror: Romanticizes the darkness she sees in Megarette as a test of her faith in good over evil

Relation to group after first horror: She’s attracted to the prince even more, drawn toward the dark side, as it were.

How they fight back: She runs from the Prince, but teases her husband into fighting the prince, which he doesn’t do, because she lacks the courage to tell him the truth, and because she’s gotten selfish enough to just want to follow her lustful desires

End point: She drowns, then eaten by piranhas, as a final deed protecting her husband by succumbing to death, thereby cleansing her of guilt she never felt to begin with

What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience: Your actions come back to haunt you

CHAMBERS

PROFILE

Role: Survivor/ hapless magnet for horror because of his wife’s behavior for which he takes no responsibility

Traits: Domesticated, nurturing (gardener), unimaginative

Fears: Just about everything new, especially the warning about following traditions

Wants/Needs: Want a quiet life Need to step outside himself and experience new things

Likability: He’s a gardener, loves and trusts his wife, law-abiding

How they react under stress: Paranoia

Relationship with other characters: Loves his wife, keeps to himself, except friendly with the Vintner because of his gardening.

JOURNEY

Character intro: Gardening

Denial: Believes that so long as he’s doing what’s right, evil will leave him alone.

Their reaction to first horror: He doesn’t recognize it in Megarette and doesn’t believe Lorette

Relation to group after first horror: He stays away from the castle and all the goings on up there.

How they fight back: He tries to kill the creatures that attack.

End point: He uses Lorette’s corpse to hold off the piranhas.

What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience: No one’s immune.

PRINCE

PROFILE

Role: Monster – conduit for the Eumenides wielding of justice

Traits: Perceptive, deceitful, charismatic

Fears: Losing his power

Wants/Needs: Want control over the living. Need victim’s souls

Likability: He’s glamourous and noble

How they react under stress: Deflects it back onto those who cause him stress

Relationship with other characters: Commands their respect and attracts their carnal desires

JOURNEY

Character intro: Rides jauntily up to the couple’s cottage, warmly welcoming them to a feast in their honor

Denial: He denies he’s evil. Feels only his own power over others.

Their reaction to first horror: Embraces it

Relation to group after first horror: Seeks to increase their misery

How they fight back: He pretends to offer aid, but pushes victims closer to disaster

End point: He regrets destroying Lorette who’s such a consummate object of his desires

What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience: Even the most horrible amongst us has regrets for their evil deeds when those deeds come back to haunt them

[Lawrence Fraly]

Larry Fraller’s Monster Reveal Track

What I learned doing this assignment is it can be really hard to reveal the monster little by little, at first only by its effects. This would be a surprise reveal for the audience as well as the characters. However, I wonder how it would work if the audience saw the monster(s) from the beginning and knew they would prey on someone, but not say how or when or even who. The audience expectations might be heightened by what they know but can’t see or understand yet. Especially in the beginning when the weird Eumenides talk in riddles. It worked for Shakespeare and Aeschylus. But I’m not them, of course.

I couldn’t help putting it all together in the outline. It’s the only way I could see what was a clue or a reveal, and how they work together. It also helped me reduce the actions/scenes to their essence.

1A. Who is the monster and what is their terror?

* Powers: One’s conscience, by unleashing forces of nature commensurate with the person’s transgression that are both real and symbolic

*Limitations: Person’s transgression must be life altering, with the person knowing their transgression is wrong, and a function of carnal desire.

*Weaknesses: If a person recovers from their transgression and returns to their vow, then the Eumenides have no power over them any longer

*Plan/purpose/appetite: Justice, destruction of the violator and all those present in their life. No one is immune, not even themselves.

SET UP FOR HORROR

PROLOGUE (result of their violence)

CLUE: Why do they stir water of a pond while chanting weird mysterious predictions?

CLUE: Why does the pond boil and turn to blood and stench?

Alecto, (ALESSA) Consequence of violating spiritual knowledge

Megaera, (MEGARETTA) Consequence of violating volition

Tisiphone (STEPHATTA) Consequence of violating carnal desires

CLUE: Why does a wolf drag a dead deer to the Eumenides?

MONSTER REVEAL: They eat the deer raw (chanting that this is the soul of the transgressor) (would love to use lamb, as symbolic of innocence, but then it would give away that Lorette is the transgressor when she tastes the lamb)

ACT 1 (foreshadowing as clues)

CLUE: Why does Chambers pick a rose, but only told afterwards it violates rule?

CLUE: Why does ALESSA warn they can smell but not touch the roses?

CLUE: What happens if they violate traditions?

INCITING INCIDENT

CLUE: Why does Lorette get a fever?

MONSTER REVEAL: Lorette sees darkness in MEGARETTA and feels cold draft.

CLUE: Why do gnats swarm Chambers, irritating his eyes and his nerves.

ACT 1 TURNING POINT AND TWIST (locked into horror)

MONSTER REVEAL: Lorette dreams Chambers is evil, keeps her in dungeon so he can keep her to himself. In dream, he’s a demon, same darkness in Megaretta, eyes try to poison her soul

ACT 2 POINT OF NO RETURN (HORROR EVERY 10 TO 15 MINUTES)

CLUE: Why does their well water turns foul with parasites?

CLUE: What is the secrets the servant girl wants to tell but dies before she can tell them?

MONSTER REVEAL: They find her body at edge of creek, rotting with worms consuming her.

CLUE: Why does MEGARETTA determines the girl died from terror that stole her soul?

CLUE: Why does ALESSA blame LORETTE and CHAMBERS for not retrieving their own water from the river?

CLUE: Why do bees take over the vines while the VINTNER’s wife is picking grapes?

MONSTER REVEALED: She’s stung mercilessly.

CLUE: Why and how does she survive by a potion her husband keeps on hand?

CLUE: Why is Megaretta killed by the bees, which is really weird, considering she’s one of the Eumenides?

MONSTER REVEAL: Creek overflows and washes out the roads, bringing more parasites, larger and more

CLUE: Why are these parasites mysteriously not native to the region?

ACT 2 MIDPONT – MONSTER IS WORSE THAN WE THOUGHT

CLUE: Why does Megaretta’s younger sister STEPHATTA replace her?

CLUE: Why is she’s the opposite in temperament and action from Megaretta?

MONSTER REVEAL: Lorette sees the same darkness in her that she saw in Megarette, but there’s no cold draft.

CLUE: Why does Stephatta let blame Lorette and Chambers for her sister’s death?

ACT 2 CONTINUED

CLUE: Who are these singers and dancers and why are they there?

MONSTER REVEAL: Singers and dancers beat PRINCE OSSIMON

CLUE: Why was S&M forbidden by MEGARETTA?

MONSTER REVEAL: Orgies of pain and torture of the younger servants. They are forced to whip OSSIMON and one another.

CLUE: Why do one of them have to die every night?

MONSTER REVEAL: until the person guilty of killing MEGARETTA is revealed.

MONSTER REVEAL: Servants are tortured with spiders and snakes, which kill them slowly.

MONSTER REVEAL: Larger, more dangerous predators from the river attack Chambers and Lorette

CLUE: Why does Alessa bring them a tiny exotic fish she claims is to keep evil away?

CLUE: Why is LORETTE drawn to the orgies of sex?

CLUE: Why does Chambers agree to let her go?

MONSTER REVEAL: It tortures him to hear from her what she experiences.

CLUE: Why does she enjoy torturing him with his sexual failures?

CLUE: Why does ALESSA brings him a remedy?

MONSTER REVEAL: When she leaves, he’s attacked by wolves.

CLUE: Why do the wolves leave when LORETTE returns from the all-night orgy?

CLUE: Why do the gypsy women bathe her in rose petals?

MONSTER REVEAL: OSSIMON ties her to a post and pours freezing water over her.

CLUE: Why does Ossimon let her escape as the sun’s coming up?

MONSTER REVEAL: A naked woman in the tub now boiling and being pecked to death by ravens.

MONSTER REVEAL: Torrential rains turn the path home to mud. Weird animal cries all around her. She almost drowns in the mud. Vultures circle overhead.

ACT 2 END TWIST

CLUE: Why does Lorette tell CHAMBERS only about her excitement in the tub?

MONSTER REVEAL: When they fall asleep after making passionate love. The stream overflows and flood creeps toward their house.

ACT 3 FULL OUT HORROR

MONSTER REVEAL: Bodies float by. Some still alive and pulled underwater, blood spewing into the flood around them. Vultures pick at the corpses.

CLUE: Why do vultures watch LORETTE with knowing eyes, hypnotizing her?

MONSTER REVEAL: She swings sword wildly at demons only she can see. Almost chops off Chamber’s foot.

MONSTER REVEAL: Rats escape from the basement.

MONSTER REVEAL: Flood seeps into the house.

MONSTER REVEAL: Large fish consume the rats, which squeal and roar as they die.

MONSTER REVEAL: The water turns bloody.

MONSTER REVEAL: The herbs that ALESSA gave to CHAMBERS warms the waters to bath temperature, then warmer.

MONSTER REVEAL: CHAMBERS and LORETTE flee up the stairs as the water chases them higher.

MONSTER REVEAL: Worms and snakes and rats attack them. LORETTE goes mad. Tries to swim.

MONSTER REVEAL: Chambers can’t catch her. He goes higher. High as he can go to the rafter in the loft.

MONSTER REVEAL: LORETTE’S body floats to him. Her eyes open, peer into him as if she’s alive. He starts to faint from the hot water. Hallucinates visions of piranhas swimming towards him.

MONSTER REVEAL: Chambers uses LORETTE’s body to fend off the piranhas. They attack and devour her while he’s holding her.

CLUE: Why is there nothing left but her skeleton after the water cools and recedes? ‘

CLUE: Why is he left holding her skeleton, her eye sockets still piercing into him?

CLUE: When he opens the box into which he had placed her bones, why is there only dust?

MONSTER REVEAL: ALESSA describes how LORETTE had violated her own vow to never eat animals. It’s a tradition that anyone who breaks a sacred vow is punished according to the manner of the vow they broke, unleashing forces of vengeance and retribution.

CLUE: Why does Stephatta tell Chambers to spread LORETTE’s dust among the roses?

CLUE: Why does Chambers touch a rose?

MONSTER REVEAL: It’s ambiguous whether he’s pushed into the roses or the roses grab him. Either way Chambers is caught in the roses and the more he struggles to free himself, the deeper he plunge into the roses, completely torn to pieces by the thorns.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Larry Fraller’s Horror Plot

What I learned doing this assignment is that there’s a structure that’s specific to horror conventions. Should hopefully make it easier to draft a script. It gave me an overview to see if I had the right characters and enough of them, and to fill out their roles. Still rather unsure of the outline.

SET UP FOR HORROR

PROLOGUE

ATMOSPHERE OF EVIL ESTABLISHED

Three Eumenides stir the water of a pond (like McBeth’s three witches, and Aeschylus’ Eumenides)

Alecto, (ALESSA)

Megaera, (MEGARETTA)

Tisiphone (STEPHATTA)

Torture and foul consequences of guilty conscience

Wolf drags dead lamb to the Three Eumenides

They eat the lamb raw (lamb as soul of vegetarian with a taste for meat)

ACT 1 CONNECT WITH THE CHARACTERS

LORETTE paints a romantic picture. Talks to herself, her Disney like fantasy (I’ve considered her painting comes to life, but too weird even for me)

CHAMBERS hoes garden, answers her as if she’s talking to him.

ALESSA welcomes them with a gift, warns they can smell but not touch the roses. Follow traditions, but doesn’t say how, one has to experience them. He’s already picked a rose for Lorette. Neither tell this to Alessa, but she seems to know without saying. It’s in her eyes, the way she looks at Lorette, not at how she looks at Chambers.

Denial of Terror

Chambers says Alessa makes no sense.

Lorette’s seen lots of witches (Disney), but prince always wins with good over evil.

INCITING INCIDENT

Safety taken away

VINTNER invites them to outdoor feast. Warns to taste everything, but finish none.

Chambers doesn’t understand that it’s a warning. Lorette says watch what others do.

LORETTE is vegetarian. She smell of lamb, she tastes it and likes it, but it makes her sick..

Monster: The nature of the beast.

Lorette first refuses lamb, but sees darkness in MEGARETTA and feels cold draft.

Lorette develops high fever she attributes to cold draft.

Chambers says her imagination is overactive about Megaretta, He didn’t feel cold draft.

Chambers attacked by swarms of gnats that irritate his eyes and his nerves.

Alessa brings herb to alleviate the fever

ACT 1 TURNING POINT AND TWIST

Herb puts Lorette to sleep

She dreams Chambers is evil, keeps her in dungeon so he can keep her to himself. In dream, he’s a demon, same darkness in Megaretta, eyes try to poison her soul

ACT 2 POINT OF NO RETURN (HORROR EVERY 10 TO 15 MINUTES)

Their well water turns foul with parasites. So they take water from the creek

One of the servant girls offers to carry water for them because has secrets she wants to tell them and warn them about, but when she doesn’t return, they find her body at edge of creek, rotting with worms consuming her.

The river is now contaminated downstream from her death so they have to get their water from upstream which is contained by cliffs and sharp rocks.

MEGARETTA determines the girl died from terror that stole her soul.

ALESSA blames LORETTE and CHAMBERS for not retrieving their own water from the river. The young couple explain that it was the Vintner who sent the girl as a gift from him to save them the labor and as a gift for secretly purchasing his wine (SUBTEXT)

Bees take over the vines while the VINTNER’s wife is picking grapes. She’s stung mercilessly but survives by a potion which her husband keeps on hand for that very reason.

When a barrel is tapped for MEGARETTA, it has bees in it and they sting her from the inside.

Isolated/Trapped/Abducted

Creek overflows and washes out the roads, bringing more parasites, larger and more

exotic and dangerous, mysteriously not native to the region

One of us killed

Megaretta dies of from bee stings and destruction of her flesh because her

immune system is compromised by CHAMBERS’ hair gel (Megaretta kept

complaining about the smell and that no cosmetics were allowed because

everything has to be natural…)

ACT 2 MIDPONT – MONSTER IS WORSE THAN WE THOUGHT

Full pursuit by the killer

Megaretta’s younger sister STEPHATTA comes to replace her. She’s elegant and done up heavily with cosmetics so she’s seen as a regal beauty, ageless, but LORETTE sees her as ugly for being entirely unnatural.

Stephatta wants revenge for her sister’s death (secretly SUBTEXT for Lorette acquiring a taste for meat) and lets everyone know it, blaming LORETTE and CHAMBERS as outsiders.

But they claim STEPHATTA is also an outsider, which brings out another SUBTEXT that she is the rightful heir to the domain, and had been passed over by her father because of her wanton ways in the city.

ACT 2 CONTINUED

Terrorized

Stephatta has a rather large entourage of exotic gypsy type singers and dancers who entertain into the wee hours of the morning.

They beat PRINCE OSSIMON, and we learn that as his SUBTEXT, he likes S&M, which had been forbidden by MEGARETTA.

Orgies of pain and torture of the younger servants. They are forced to whip OSSIMON and one another.

STEPHATTA insists that one of them die every night until the person guilty of killing MEGARETTA is revealed.

Servants are tortured with spiders and snakes, which kill them slowly.

Larger, more dangerous predators from the river attack Chambers and Lorette

Alessa brings them a tiny exotic fish she claims is to keep the evil spirits away.

LORETTE is drawn to the orgies of sex, as a liberated woman unsatisfied by CHAMBERS. To save his marriage (and her inheritance) he agrees to let her go, though it tortures him to hear from her what she experiences. She enjoys torturing him with his sexual failures as less than a man.

ALESSA hears of his troubles and brings him a remedy. When she leaves, he’s pinned inside his house by wolves. The smell of rotten meat fills the air, choking him.

When he opens a window, wolves come in, which he kills with kitchen knives until there are too many of them, and he takes down an ancient sword from the mantle which he’s never to touch because it belongs to the house, and the people from whom they bought the house.

With the sword he disembowels several wolves.

At dawn, the wolves leave when LORETTE returns from her night at the orgies.

She describes OSSIMON’s sexual endowment and her having to watch, but not touch.

The gypsy women bathe her in rose petals, caressing her to near orgasm, then leave her to OSSIMON who ties her to a post and pours freezing water over her in the tub.

Lorette almost drowns.

Prince lets her escape as the sun’s coming up.

She hears screams as she looks for her clothing. Goes back into the bathroom, sees a naked woman in the tub being pecked to death by ravens in boiling water.

Torrential rains turn the path home to mud. Weird animal cries all around her. She almost drowns in the mud. Vultures circle overhead.

ACT 2 END TWIST

She tells CHAMBERS only about her excitement in the tub. They make passionate love. And fall asleep around midmorning, with the flood rising

ACT 3 FULL OUT HORROR

Fight to the death

River rises to a flood.

Bodies float by. Some still alive and pulled underwater, blood spewing into the flood around them. Vultures pick at the corpses.

Hysteria

Vultures watch LORETTE with knowing eyes. She says they’re trying to hypnotize her. She takes up the sword CHAMBERS had used to slaughter the wolves, swings it wildly at demons only she can see. Almost chops off his foot. CHAMBERS thinks she’s going crazy and opens the basement to lock her in.

Rats escape from the basement.

Flood seeps into the house.

Thrilling escape from death

Large fish consume the rats, which squeal and roar as they die.

The water turns bloody.

The herbs that ALESSA gave to CHAMBERS warms the waters to bath temperature, then warmer. CHAMBERS and LORETTE flee up the stairs as the water chases them higher.

Death returns to take one or more

Worms and snakes and rats attack them. LORETTE goes mad. Tries to swim.

Chambers can’t catch her. He goes higher. High as he can go to the rafter in the loft.

LORETTE’S body floats to him. Her eyes open, peer into him as if she’s alive. He feels himself start to faint from the hot water. Hallucinates visions of piranhas swimming towards him.

Resolution

Chambers uses LORETTE’s body to fend off the piranhas. They attack and devour her while he’s holding her.

Soon as there’s nothing left but her skeleton, the water cools, recedes. He’s left holding her skeleton, her eye sockets still piercing into him.

ALESSA and STEPHATTA and all the others gather around as he digs her grave.

When he opens the box into which he had placed her bones, there’s only dust.

ALESSA describes how LORETTE had violated her own vow to never eat animals. It’s a tradition that anyone who breaks a sacred vow is punished according to the manner of the vow they broke, unleashing forces of vengeance and retribution.

Stephatta instructs Chambers to spread LORETTE’s dust amongst the roses, which Lorette so loved.

But Chambers can’t help touching a rose.

It’s ambiguous whether he’s pushed into the roses or the roses grab him. Either way Chambers is caught in the roses and the more he struggles to free himself, the deeper he plunge into the roses, completely torn to pieces by the thorrns.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Larry Fraller’s Character Death Track

What I learned doing this lesson is to be better organized, so I can make the outline more rational and begin to see the story as a unit, rather than scenes.

Survivor

Chambers

Deserves to live because he never took part in Lorette’s violation of own conscience, even though she played him so he would

Order they die:

young servant girl

why consequence of Lorette eating meat

how drowned in river

female gipsy reveler

why consequence of Lorette’s lust

how boiled in bathtub

Megaretta

why So Sephatta can replace her

how bee sting and allergy to Chamber’s hair gel

Lorette

why ultimately because she willfully violated her conscience by eating meat and acquiring a taste for it

how: drowned and consumed by various animals, and then destroyed by piranahs

[Lawrence Fraly]

Larry Fraller’s Horror Situation Track

What I learned doing this assignment is that there are more than one situation and reaction. I wound up brainstorming mostly about the opening (prologue) because of this assignment.

I’ve worked through an entire outline giving the specific situations. It took some serious brainstorming to get the appropriate reactions.

After looking at everyone else’s, I think I should posted the actual outline / structure. But…I didn’t.

Isolated situations

* Lost ( in castle)

REACTION – panic, but adventurous and daring/

*Trapped in castle

REACTION – fear, panic, hide, try to solve

*Trapped by flood and rising river flood and in house water rising

REACTION – fear, hide, escape

*Lured into danger – Lorette at the orgies/ eat lamb at feast/ bath with ice water

REACTION – fear, excited, adventurous, denial, hide, escape

*Forces of nature – flood/rising river/ parasites, spiders, snakes, insects, vultures

REACTION – fear, panic, fight, hide

*The only one who sees the monster – Lorette sees the evil darkness in Megaretta

REACTION – fear, hide

Pursued situations

*Attacked by wolves (Chambers alone in house) and other parasites/predators

REACTION – fear, fight, hide, denial

*forced into dangerous environment (Rising waters force Chambers to dormers

REACTION – fear, fight, hide

*Impending doom – warning by Eumenides about temptation and look but don’t touch

REACTION – denial, fear

*No escape or escape route cut off – floods / Lorette can’t leave the castle when she wants to

REACTION – try to solve, fear, fight

*Monster approaching – as movie progresses Lorette becomes more and more certain that she sees real evil darkness in each of the Eumenides

REACTION – try to solve, fear, hide

*Monster trying to get you – Orgy/gala with Prince as emissary of Eumenides because his mother and aunt are, and he suspects they are more than they are and his blood is their blood

REACTION – try to solve, fear

Torture situations

*injured/ wounded/debiliated – Lorette’s fever after she tastes lamb

Lorette nearly chops off Chamber’s foot

REACTION – panic, denial, tries to solve

*See another killed

Chambers watches Lorette drown

REACTION – Panic, denial

They find servant girl’s body in stream

REACTION – fear, try to solve it, denial

Lorette sees girl’s body in bathtub

REACTION – fear, denial, glad it’s not her

*Something inside our body

Bees inside Megaretta

Parasites in Chambers

REACTION – fear, disgust, panic, run away

*Transformed into something else

Prince becomes demonic S&M

REACTION – panic, denial, hide, surrender and join them

Lorette sees demons in the Eumenides and in Chambers

REACTION – denial, panic, hide, fights back

*Physically tortured

Lorette at the castle

REACTION – shock, but then she loves it, tries to solve it, escape

Gnats on Chambers

REACTION – denial, panic, hysteria

other parasites in Chambers

REACTION – denial, disgust, fear, tries to solve it

People at the gala S&M they love it but it terrifies Lorette

REACTION – fear, hide, denial, escape, hide

*Mentally tortured

Lorette tormented by her fantasy of prince which she has to keep to herself

REACTION – escape, surrenders

Lorette torments Chambers with lurid tales from her time at the Castle, which are fantasies and therefore not real

REACTION – fear, denial, fight

Terror and confusion about Look but don’t touch

REACTION – denial, fear, apprehension, tries to solve

Tormented situations

*Possessed – Lorette thinks Chambers and the Eumenides are demons inside

REACTION – denial, hide, tries to solve, fight

*Tricked – into eating lamb

REACTION – denial, anger, fear, hide

*Dilemma – Chambers has to use his wife’s body as shield against piranhas

As water rises, he could try to save Lorette, but then they’d both surely die

REACTION – fear, panic, fight, try to solve, escape

*Friends in danger – Vintner and his wife,

REACTION – fear, denial

*Another character who loses it (hysterically) – servant girl’s terror of the river

REACTION – denial, tries to solve it

*Character becomes a liability (physically) – Vintner’s wife could go blind

Vintner could get poisoned on his wine

REACTION – fear, try to solve it

Paranoia situations

*Group has been infiltrated – Prince? Stephatta? Servant girl infatuated with Prince

REACTION: Denial

*Suspecting someone else is possessed – some of the gypsies at the gala/orgy

REACTION: Denial, escape

*Not knowing who is possessed – how can Chambers believe Lorette’s allegations since she’s got such a wild imagination

REACTION: Denial, Try to solve it

*Unknown motive – eating the lamb/ orgy at the castle / servant girl sent to carry water from river. Is she lying about who sent her? Did she owe a debt, or was she cursed, since she’s so terrified, but is there anyway, maybe she has a thing for Chambers, or SERVANT GIRL TRIES TO WARN THEM

No one has a clue except that Stephatta accuses L & C of being outsides, but C says S is one too, but it then comes out that she was sent away for wanton when she was young

REACTION: Denial, try to solve it, fight, Escape

*Menacing stranger – all three of the Eumenides

REACTION: Try to figure it out, Hide, Escape

*Character refuses to take action – Lorette likes the adventure until it’s too late, and Chambers feels it’s all a fantasy of hers

REACTION: Denial, try to solve it

Spooky situations

*Slimed – foul water from well

REACTION: Escape, try to figure it out

Lorette in the bath: Denial, try to figure it out, fight, escape

*doing something forbidden

Lorette in the bath, and lying about it to Chambers, and her going to the gala/orgy in the first place, and eating the lamb which she forbids to herself, though she always loves the smell of cooked meat

REACTION: Denial, try to figure it out, fight it, escape

Fall through the floor – nope.

*threatened – almost every moment

*face to face with the monster – every time they’re with any of the three Eumenides, only after a while does Lorette suspect that all three are the same monster, but she’s wrong, they are three separate ones though have similar darkness about them

REACTION Try to figure it out, denial, escape

*Cannot see, speak, or yell, hear – flood waters rise in the house, and both are underwater at some point

REACTION Denial, try to figure it out, fight, escape, hide

Lorette at the gala it’s too noisy

REACTION Escape

*Environment changing around you – waters rise

REACTION: Escape, hide

Deceptive situations

*Walking into a trap – tasting the lamb / lured to the orgy only to be frustrated after tantalized

REACTION Denial, try to figure it to, escape

*lured into the horror – the gala/orgy

REACTION Denial, try to figure it out, escape/

*helping a good person and being attacked – Chambers could help the Vintner then be attacked by the bees

REACTION Try to figure it out, fight, escape

working with someone, then they become the evil one – The Prince (for Lorette)

REACTION Try to figure it out, fight, hide, escape

[Lawrence Fraly]

Larry Fraller’s Horror Plot

What I learned doing this assignment is that there’s a structure that’s specific to horror conventions. Should hopefully make it easier to draft a script. It gave me an overview to see if I had the right characters and enough of them, and to fill out their roles.

ACT 1 SET UP FOR HORROR

atmosphere of evil established
small chalet near gothic castle

connect with the characters
outdoor dinner welcoming the new couple to the neighborhood

characters are warned not to do not ignore the traditions of the neighborhood
represented by the old woman who lives in the castle

denial of horror

the couple are skeptical about the old woman’s sanity, and think the others are playing a
trick on them to see how gullible they are because the prince and vineyard keeper are
sophisticated men, as it turns out, so is the old woman who
may or may not be the prince’s grandmother, or even the grand dame of the castle for
which the prince is only a regent

The vegetarian wife is tempted to taste lamb, so as to honor the traditions

Traditions may be old, but that doesn’t make them right.

Safety taken away

the new couple learn that they have to submit all their purchases for the old woman’s
approval to make sure they are not violating any traditions, about which the couple only
gradually learn, which makes them beholden to the old woman and the traditions, even for
water, which they need to take from the creek because the creek runs dry at certain times
of day, with the ebb and flow of the tides that reach all the way up the stream from the
ocean

Parasites fill the well, it can no longer be used

ACT 2 THE POINT OF NO RETURN

Isolated/Trapped/Abducted

Stream overflows and washes out the roads, as it does every year when the snow melts
on the higher mountains, bringing more parasites, larger and more exotic and dangerous,
mysteriously not native to the region

At nights while her husband sleeps, the wife is called to the castle as nurse to the old
woman (just now made her a nurse so she can also tend to any others and give diagnosis
for the parasites, etc.

One of us killed

old woman dies of parasitic invasion and destruction of her flesh because her immune
system is compromised by the new woman’s perfume (old woman kept complaining about
the smell and that no cosmetics were allowed because everything has to be natural…

Except she’s not dead, just transformed into her old self as one of the Eumenides,
of whom another comes to this old woman’s funeral which is not a funeral with a casket
but an urn with her ashes, burned to release her spirit without corruption of the flesh by
earthly worms and parasites other parasites.

The young couple are held as witnesses until the urn can be interred when the river
retreats and tides return bringing salt water back to the well

Prince falls sick with sorrow from his grandmother’s death, which requires the new wife to
spend more time with him away from her husband while husband sleeps.

Wife and prince develop a fondness for each other. He’s appreciative of her kindness,
she’s enamored of his tales of adventure. She has a terrific imagination which her
husband thinks she makes up about the old woman, about whom the wife was suspicious
and even more suspicious of the old woman’s sister who comes to visit for the “funeral”



MIDPOINT – THE MONSTER IS WORSE THAN WE THOUGHT

Full pursuit by the killer

Larger, more dangerous predators attack or threaten everyone except the vineyard wife
and the sister of the old woman who died

Terrorized

Everyone blames the husband because he does not assimilate and remains skeptical so
he is attacked physically and verbally by the others, including his wife who turns against
him when he accuses her of having an affair with the prince

More predators come after husband, but stop attacking the others because old woman
has potion which even the wife/nurse believes because she’s into homeopathic alternative
herbs and the like

Husband blamed for breaking the traditions

Old woman from the village brings him gift of a tiny exotic fish she claims is to keep the
evil spirits away.

Prince and vineyard supervisor are killed by a wolf when they’re tending to the sheep

Wife comes home with the bad news about the prince

ACT 3 FULL OUT HORROR

Fight to the death

spiders and bees and snakes and vultures are everywhere in the house when husband
wakes up

Husband is in danger of death. Wife administers first aid and potions she got from old
woman in the village earlier

But potion causes the river to rise, flooding the house.

Hysteria

They are trapped in the house as water rises, they have to go up to the loft but can’t open
the dormer windows that are sealed shut

Thrilling escape from death

He’s trapped in the last gasp of air. She drowns.

The waters begin to recede

Death returns to take one or more

water stops receding when the wife’s body floats into a space that blocks the
water’s retreat.

Piranhas (the exotic fish) get free and are about to attack him. He has to use his wife’s
body as food for the piranhas to keep them from getting at him.

Resolution

The water recedes. Piranhas die.

Eumenides reunited and are satisfied…for now.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Larry Fraller’s Characters for Horror

What I learned doing this assignment is to write enough characters to make the horror more interesting, and the manifestation of evil more pronounced.

CONCEPT: When a vegetarian acquires a taste for meat, predators and parasites acquire a taste for her husband and friends.

GROUP: Husband and new friends from neighborhood or castle.

DYING PATTERN: Each character, except the castle owner, experiences annoyance, then irritation, fatal diseases, and animal attacks. The husband also experiences the worst horror having to use his wife’s corpse to fend off piranhas in his flooded house.

IDENTITY: The protagonist Wife: vegetarian since college when her roommate’s pet pig

showed her how intelligent and loving an animal could be, and it horrified her that other pigs, and any animal could be slaughtered for people to eat

Husband: Loving, gentle, easy-natured nerd who wouldn’t hurt so much as a flea unless he has to.

Castle owner: Suave, late middle aged eccentric who dabbles in entomology and vaccination experiments on animals for the good of all animals (red herring)

Vineyard supervisor: Elderly, quiet, secretive, protective of his vines, suspicious of outsiders, but tends to his plants with extreme care and affection

Vineyard’s supervisor’s wife: Kindly alcoholic who welcomes outsiders. Fantastic cook who prepares every meal with great pride, and sumptuous recipes of her own making

and very persuasive. She was raised by a goat herder who taught her from an early age how to tend and nurture the goats and slaughter them without guilt, as a way of life.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Larry Fraller’s Terrifying Monster

What I learned doing this assignment is the monster is more complex than I realized.

1. My monster comes in two parts.
First part is the Eumenides who determine who and why the victim is going to be.
Second is through what medium the Eumenides manifest their attacks.

2. Terror: What begins as barely noticeable pests grows by monstrous proportions to unlikely and bizarre beasts.

Mystery: What are the barely noticeable pests? Are they real or imagined? By the time we get to the ending, we still don’t know where they come from but we know they are terrifyingly deadly real.

Fear Provoking Appearance: The Eumenides are three grotesque, deformed, ancient creatures resembling human beings. Each may be different or they may be clones of one another except with distinctly different personalities (though I don’t know yet). But they are in the background after the opening scene. Their creations appear almost normal, but act with volition that is relentless and unrecognizable in normal creatures of their kind.

Their Rules: They attack the guilty through someone dear to the guilty party, and the guilty party never knows why they’re guilty. The victim has done something that might appear slight or even benign, but the consequences of their decision/action is beyond their own life.

Their Mythology: The Eumenides are archetypal, residing in everyone’s conscience, beyond subconsciously. They are eternal, divine and never sated. They can be thwarted only by conscious and willful atonement. Then they disappear back into the individual, but continue to exist and can manifest whenever someone’s guilt opens the gates.

[Lawrence Fraly]

(THE SWARM) Horror Conventions

What I learned doing this assignment is to analyze a horror movie while I’m watching it, rather than just getting primal feared.

This movie doesn’t quite match the model, but it’s kind of close. Listed as Horror on Netflix.

Title is pretty darn scary. It lured me to look at the concept.

Concept A single mother breeds locusts as high-protein food, but has trouble getting them to reproduce until she finds they have a taste for blood.

Terrorize the characters Locusts eventually attack the mom, her two kids, the family pet goat, the neighbor and his dog, and in the end, the swarm escapes to get everyone else in the universe they will come in contact with.

Isolation The farm is set off from the nearest neighbor by a good distance.

Death: Dog, family goat, neighbor, and other locusts.

Monster/Villain: These things swarm like a single predatory beast.

High Tension From the outset we expect these beasties to attack, as they don’t reproduce and are rather fidgety, dying when the woman needs them to reproduce for her business to survive. Then she gets hurt and wakes to find the swarm crawling all over her, and picks several of their legs from her wound. So we expect them to get worse and crave more blood. and they do.

Departure from reality

I mean, like, who raises locusts for food (in France, where, you have to admit, they do eat some strange things)? Locusts that eat blood is rather removed from reality, as far as I know.

Moral statement: Careful what you wish for. Virginie wanted her locust crop to grow so she could sell more and make more money.

What made The Swarm a great horror movie is the subplots where other people depended on Virginie’s growing enough locusts to help their businesses and vineyards survive as well. Sympathy for her two young teen kids, especially the daughter brought you into their world. The daughter (Laura) did not like the locusts and wanted to get rid of them, but ironically, by destroying their sacks in which the mother kept them, Laura released the swarm.

MY CONCEPT (most of this is off the top of my head)

TITLE: VEGGIE BITES

CONCEPT: When a vegetarian acquires a taste for meat, parasites and predatory animals acquire a taste for her husband.

Terrorize the Characters: Well really, there’s only and he gets put through some rather harrowing experiences. Then, in the end, the little monsters get her too.

Isolation: They somehow are staying in a remote out building of a castle some place in Gothic Europe, or at the edge of the Amazon in some country bordering on that River.

Death: Not to give it away, but it’s the wife who dies…and then he has to do this horrendous thing to her in order to save his own life.

Monster/Villain: These plagues are the work of the Eumenides who act as judge jury and executioners of those who transgress their own values or that of the community.

High Tension: These plagues appear out of nowhere with no explanation and grow increasingly more horrendous with each attack.

Departure from reality: The sequencing of attacks which grow from harmless gnats to ravenous piranha is hopefully as far from reality as you can get.

Moral Statement: Your decisions affect more than yourself.

[Lawrence Fraly]

1. Larry Fraller

2. 3 scripts, but only one is good enough to admit to

3. Conventions of horror and a good screenplay

4. Lots of strange and unusual things about me. One is that I have two half-brothers named Jon who don’t know each other exists, though this is probably not so uncommon these days.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Larry Fraller

I agee to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Larry Fraller’s Elevated Profiles

STEP 1 Shorten profile to a precise one

I’m going to present a [character profile] for my TV series that is [format/genre] about [concept] in which the Bella marries Marco and has a baby by him. Please read it and make this profile more precise, using short single sentence answers (2 to 10 words) that get to the essence of each part. Please focus on what makes the character the most interesting, intriguing, and complex, and fits the concept and genre.

format/genre = crime drama

concept = Bella and Roofie scheme to steal from Marco and Carlita the rights to a secret, capped oil well in the Everglades.

character profile =

BELLA Role in the show: the mom, protagonist, it’s her journey we follow

Unique purpose: inherit the well by marrying Marco, who unwittingly has rights to the well, and having a baby with.

Expertise: seductive. street smart. thrill seeker

Intrigue: To sabotage Roofie’s scheme.

Moral issue: what moral boundaries are they crossing? Larceny. Betrayal. Lies.

Unpredictable: what will they do next? Disappears for several days with Alex to stay with food truck owner Marinda and brothers who are fiercely protective of her.

Empathetic: Why do we care? abused by Roofie. Volunteers at a thrift store. Sings-off key but with heart. Falls in love with the man she’s supposed to rip off.

Hidden agendas: Triggers Marco’s bipolar so he gets committed, leaving her to with both kids and rights to the well.

Competition: Carlita, Roofie.

Secrets: Alex is not Roofie’s kid. Bella spent time in prison before meeting Roofie. Her father was deported. Her mother killed in a construction accident. Bella was raised off the radar by a food truck operator.

Deception: Fakes love for Marco. Fakes obedience to Roofie.

Wound: Orphaned. Abused by Roofie.

Secret identity: Different name with Roofie, another with Marco. Another with the food truck operator. Various profiles on social media.

Situational: hope / fear: HOPE conquer her fears and establish her own identity / FEAR losing Alex, attack by Roofie, caught by Marco and/or Carlita.

Mask: base negative emotion / public mask NEGATIVE self-hate / MASK invents silly characters she acts out on the street

Weaknesses: easily influenced, overly imaginative

Triggers: police, aggressive men

Coping mechanism: Bashes bullies on social media. Sings when Marco plays..

ROOFIE Role in the show: Bella’s ex-, villain

Unique purpose: steal the well, undermine Marco’s family Expertise: oil roustabout, fearless veteran SEAL

Intrigue: His grandfather discovered the well, then lost it gambling to a cheater (Marco’s grandfather) who killed Roofie’s grandfather.

Moral issue: what moral boundaries are they crossing? He uses Bella to steal the well.

Unpredictable: what will they do next? PTSD and trained killer, no conscience, angry at the world Empathetic: Why do we care? Believes the well is rightfully his. Suffers from PTSD.

Hidden agendas: To steal the well or destroy it if he can’t. Revenge kill Marco’s family—until he bonds with Marcho, then pits Marco against Bella.

Competition: Marco, Carlita

Secrets: Dishonorably discharged for causing collateral damage that killed civilians. His grandfather discovered the well.

Deception: Anonymously befriends Marco. They bond. Roofie tells him about the well from rumors in the oil patch.

Wound: Alex being trans bugs the shit out of him. Seeing Bella happy with Marco.

Secret identity: his family heritage, his friendship with Marco

Situational: hope / fear: HOPE seize the oil well / FEAR lose Bella

Mask: base negative emotion / public mask NEGATIVE angry at the world / MASK Mr. Nice Guy

Weaknesses: Pride. Jealousy. PTSD

Triggers: “Snowflake hippies”. Ostentatious snobs.

Coping mechanism: Firing range. Wears camo. Hunts pythons in Everglades.

MARCO Role in the show: Bella’s husband Unique purpose: unwitting heir to the well.

Expertise: Plays inspired flute in public.

Intrigue: rarely speaks, deflects questions.

Moral issue: what moral boundaries are they crossing? He wants abortion. Angry at her because she won’t. Roofie plays this up. Marco has no clue Roofie and Bella are connected.

Unpredictable: what will they do next? His passion and total focus on his music makes his nerves tight as a violin. Bipolar mood swings at any time.

Empathetic: Why do we care? Rescues Bella from Roofie’s abuse. His music reaches into the souls of the lost and the damned. Member Sierra Club. Activist environmentalist.

Hidden agendas: Fights development in Everglades.

Competition: Alex, Roofie, Bella Secrets: In and out of rehab for extreme bipolar.

Deception: hides meds because they block his music. He blames the world.

Wound: near total emotional dependence on Carlita

Secret identity: When he’s manic, he transforms to The Messenger, an agent of God. Some of his followers believe he’s a super hero.

Situational: hope / fear: HOPE: If you don’t like him, you can leave him alone / FEAR: losing Bella

Mask: base negative emotion / public mask: NEGATIVE: insecure socially / MASK: draws a crowd when plays his flute

Weaknesses: insecure sexually, secretly sexually attracted to Alex, oblivious to danger, hasty judgments.

Triggers: interruption to his music by people who think they “get it”, but don’t.

Coping mechanism: Plays flute. Easily seduced.

CARLITA Role in the show: Marco’s aunt. Owns deed to the well.

Unique purpose: controls the narrative, keeper of the family secrets

Expertise: knows the Everglades

Intrigue: two lawyers on retainer, each with different versions of the well’s history. She killed one of Marco’s girlfriends for snooping through her office.

Moral issue: what moral boundaries are they crossing? uses Alex to spy on Marco and Bella. Keeps Marco in the dark about the well as his inheritance. Murder.

Unpredictable: what will they do next? Ruthless, sees the bad in everyone.

Empathetic: Why do we care? She’s protective of Marco and captivated by his flute. Befriends Alex when everyone else clashes with him.

Hidden agendas: keeps the second well hidden, keeps anyone from interfering with Marco’s music. Sabotage the Sierra Club.

Competition: Bella, Roofie

Secrets: She knows there’s a second well. After her husband disappeared, she drew up the will for Marco with only the one well in it.

Deception: Acts the loving aunt.

Wound: Lonely. Afraid of dying alone.

Secret identity: Active member of Sierra Club.

Situational: hope / fear: HOPE Marco and Bella divorce FEAR She’ll die alone

Mask: base negative emotion / public mask NEGATIVE EMOTION: Hates men. MASK: uses them as boy toys. Weaknesses: Night terrors.

Triggers: Aggressive men. Being told she’s wrong, especially when she is wrong. Coping mechanism: sex with younger men and women

ChatGPT

BELLA Role: Protagonist, schemer.

Unique Purpose: Marry Marco, have his baby, inherit the oil well.

Expertise: Seductive, street-smart thrill-seeker.

Intrigue: Sabotaging Roofie’s plan.

Moral Issue: Larceny, betrayal, lies.

Unpredictable: Disappears with Alex, seeks refuge with protective allies.

Empathetic: Abused, volunteers, imperfectly sings, falls in love genuinely.

Hidden Agendas: Trigger Marco’s bipolar, secure rights to the well.

Competition: Carlita, Roofie.

Secrets: Alex’s true parentage, Bella’s prison past, hidden upbringing.

Deception: Fakes love, obeys Roofie.

Wound: Orphaned, abused.

Secret Identity: Multiple personas, various social media profiles.

Situational Hope/Fear: HOPE conquers fears, establishes identity / FEAR losing Alex, Roofie’s attack, exposure.

Mask: NEGATIVE self-hate / MASK acts out silly characters.

Weaknesses: Easily influenced, overly imaginative.

Triggers: Police, aggressive men.

Coping Mechanism: Social media bashing, singing with Marco.

ROOFIE Role: Antagonist, oil roustabout.

Unique Purpose: Steal the well, undermine Marco’s family.

Expertise: Fearless SEAL, oil worker.

Intrigue: Grandfather’s history with the well.

Moral Issue: Exploiting Bella for theft.

Unpredictable: PTSD, trained killer, vengeful.

Empathetic: PTSD sufferer, believes well is rightfully his.

Hidden Agendas: Steal or destroy the well, revenge on Marco’s family.

Competition: Marco, Carlita.

Secrets: Dishonorably discharged, well’s familial connection.

Deception: Befriends Marco, reveals well through oil patch rumors.

Wound: Alex’s identity, Bella’s happiness.

Secret Identity: Conceals family heritage, friendship with Marco.

Situational Hope/Fear: HOPE seizes the well / FEAR loses Bella.

Mask: NEGATIVE angry / MASK Mr. Nice Guy.

Weaknesses: Pride, jealousy, PTSD.

Triggers: “Snowflake hippies,” ostentatious snobs.

Coping Mechanism: Firing range, hunting pythons.

MARCO Role: Husband, unwitting heir.

Unique Purpose: Inherit the well, passionate musician.

Expertise: Flutist, environmental activist.

Intrigue: Mysterious, deflects questions.

Moral Issue: Abortion desire, unaware of Bella’s connection with Roofie.

Unpredictable: Bipolar mood swings, musical focus.

Empathetic: Rescues Bella, reaches lost souls through music.

Hidden Agendas: Fights Everglades development.

Competition: Alex, Roofie, Bella.

Secrets: In and out of bipolar rehab.

Deception: Hides meds blocking music, blames the world.

Wound: Emotionally dependent on Carlita.

Secret Identity: The Messenger, superhero persona when manic.

Situational Hope/Fear: HOPE left alone / FEAR losing Bella.

Mask: NEGATIVE socially insecure / MASK draws crowds with flute.

Weaknesses: Insecure sexually, attracted to Alex, oblivious to danger.

Triggers: Interruption to music, misunderstood fans.

Coping Mechanism: Plays flute, easily seduced.

CARLITA Role: Aunt, well’s deed holder.

Unique Purpose: Control narrative, keeper of family secrets.

Expertise: Knows the Everglades.

Intrigue: Lawyers with conflicting well histories, past murder.

Moral Issue: Uses Alex to spy, hides well’s existence.

Unpredictable: Ruthless, sees bad in everyone.

Empathetic: Protective of Marco, captivated by his music.

Hidden Agendas: Conceals second well, protects Marco’s music.

Competition: Bella, Roofie.

Secrets: Knowledge of second well, crafted Marco’s will.

Deception: Acts as loving aunt.

Wound: Lonely, fear of dying alone.

Secret Identity: Sierra Club member.

Situational Hope/Fear: HOPE Bella and Marco divorce / FEAR dying alone.

Mask: NEGATIVE hates men / MASK uses them as toys.

Weaknesses: Night terrors.

Triggers: Aggressive men, being told she’s wrong.

Coping Mechanism: Sex with younger partners.

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STEP 2 & 3 Edit the profile for intrigue and meaning

ChatGPT

BELLA Role: Protagonist, schemer.

Unique Purpose: Marry Marco, have his baby, inherit the oil well.

Expertise: Seductive, street-smart thrill-seeker.

Intrigue: Sabotage Roofie’s scheme. Marinda’s crew.

Moral Issue: Larceny, betrayal, lies.

Unpredictable: Easily influenced. Suppresses emotions.

Empathetic: Abused by ex. Sings badly but from the heart.

Hidden Agendas: Trigger Marco’s bipolar. Secure rights to the well.

Competition: Carlita, Roofie.

Secrets: Father deported. Mother died working construction. Marinda’s sanctuary.

Deception: Fakes love for Marco. Betrays Roofie.

Wound: Feels she failed being a mom because Alex is trans.

Secret Identity: Multiple personas.

Situational Hope/Fear: HOPE conquer her fears / FEAR losing Alex. Getting caught.

Mask: NEGATIVE self-hate / MASK acts out silly characters.

Weaknesses: Easily influenced, overly imaginative.

Triggers: Police. Aggressive men.

Coping Mechanism: Bashing bullies on social media., Singing with Marco.

ROOFIE Role: Antagonist, oil roustabout.

Unique Purpose: Steal the well, undermine Marco’s family.

Expertise: Fearless SEAL, oil worker.

Intrigue: Grandfather discovered the well.

Moral Issue: Exploiting Bella to steal the well.

Unpredictable: PTSD. Trained killer. Vengeful.

Empathetic: PTSD. Believes the well is rightfully his.

Hidden Agendas: Steal or destroy the well. Revenge on Marco’s family.

Competition: Marco. Carlita.

Secrets: Dishonorable discharge for causing civilian casualties.

Deception: Befriends Marco. Mr. Nice Guy.

Wound: Alex’s identity as trans. Bella’s happiness with Marco.

Secret Identity: Friends with Marco.

Situational Hope/Fear: HOPE seize the well / FEAR lose Bella.

Mask: NEGATIVE angry / MASK Mr. Nice Guy.

Weaknesses: Pride. Jealousy. PTSD.

Triggers: “Snowflake hippies”. Ostentatious snobs.

Coping Mechanism: Firing range. Hunting pythons.

MARCO Role: Husband, unwitting heir.

Unique Purpose: Inherit the well. Passionate musician.

Expertise: Flutist. Environmental activist.

Intrigue:

Moral Issue: Abortion desire, unaware of Bella’s connection with Roofie.

Unpredictable: Bipolar mood swings, musical focus.

Empathetic: Rescues Bella, reaches lost souls through music.

Hidden Agendas: Fights Everglades development.

Competition: Alex, Roofie, Bella.

Secrets: In and out of bipolar rehab.

Deception: Hides meds blocking music, blames the world.

Wound: Emotionally dependent on Carlita.

Secret Identity: The Messenger, superhero persona when manic.

Situational Hope/Fear: HOPE left alone / FEAR losing Bella.

Mask: NEGATIVE socially insecure / MASK draws crowds with flute.

Weaknesses: Emotional dependence on his mother.

Triggers: Interruption to music. Musicians who think they get him, but don’t.

Coping Mechanism: Plays flute.

CARLITA Role: Aunt, well’s deed holder.

Unique Purpose: Controls narrative. Keeper of family secrets.

Expertise: Knows the Everglades. Political ties.

Intrigue: Feeds lawyers conflicting info about the wells.

Moral Issue: Murder.

Unpredictable: Ruthless. Sees only the bad in everyone except Marco.

Empathetic: Protective of Marco’s innocence.

Hidden Agendas: Sabotage Sierra Club. Sabotage Marco & Bella’s marriage.

Competition: Bella. Roofie.

Secrets: Knowledge of second well.

Deception: Acts as loving aunt.

Wound: Fear of dying alone.

Secret Identity: Sierra Club member. Her mansion’s a rooming house.

Situational Hope/Fear: HOPE Bella and Marco divorce / FEAR dying alone.

Mask: NEGATIVE distrusts Bella / MASK acts the kindly aunt to her.

Weaknesses: Night terrors.

Triggers: Aggressive men, being told she’s wrong.

Coping Mechanism: counting her money.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Larry Fraller’s Plot and Character Layers

What I learned doing this assignment is how make the plot and characters be outwardly one way, and under the surface many possible ways. Also the more I develop my characters, the easier it is for me to work with AI. The simplicity of AI – succinct, often way off base and very vague. Gives me lots of opportunity to see how mine can be adjusted and added to.

Assignment 1 The Diplomat

PLOT LAYERS — surface: explosion on ship

Scheme revealed: small boats attack the carrier

mystery revealed: the boats came from direction of Iran

Story’s not what we thought it was: Nor Iran, but looks like Russia

Major shift in meaning: Trowbridge wants to attack Russia to avenge the 41 dead sailors

Hidden history: Trowbridge needs a victory to show Scotland not to secede

Hidden plan: Trowbridge says they’re going to arrest the mercenary that all the evidence points to

Major betrayal: Kate learns the real plan isn’t to arrest the mercenary, but to kill him.

CHARACTER LAYERS –

Secret Identity – Kate doesn’t know she’s being groomed to be VP

Character Intrigue – In her small circle, she’s the only one who doesn’t know.

Hidden relationships and conspiracies: Hal and Pres conspiring to make Kate VP

Hidden character history: Margaret Roylin and been Trowbridge’s campaign manager

Assignment 2 My Story

PLOT LAYERS – surface: explosion of capped oil well in Everglades

Major scheme revealed: While investigating explosion, car with dead woman pulled from Tamiami Trail canal. Car is a rental charged on Victoria’s credit card.

Mystery revealed: Her purse and all her credit cards had been stolen.

Thought story was one thing, but it is another: Victoria owns the well. In trust for Daniel.

Major shift in meaning: She owns another capped oil well buried under an upscale gated community at the edge of the Everglades.

Hidden history: The dead woman is Daniel’s ex-girlfriend (Monique) who had snooped around and found the diary and true story of both wells.

Hidden plan: Sarah married Daniel and had a child by him so she can inherit the well after she and her ex- either kill Daniel, or get him locked away for one reason or another.

Major betrayal: Sarah falls in love with Daniel and abandons her ex-‘s plan.

CHARACTER LAYERS

Secret identity: Alex is trans…used to be Alice.

Character intrigue: Sarah’s ex comes looking for her. She fleas with Alex, abandoning her infant to save Alex from both Victoria and Eddie.

Hidden relationships and conspiracies: Victoria uses Alex to split Sarah and Daniel apart. Sarah uses Alex to kiss up to Victoria so she’ll include him in her will. Alex plays both of them against each other, because Sarah’s ex (Alex’s dad) threatens to kill him otherwise.

Hidden character history: Sarah’s guardian owns a food truck where Sarah grew up under a different name because her father was deported and her mom died working construction. The food truck is Sarah’s secret sanctuary, where she’s protected by a crew who knew her mother.

Victoria’s husband died from the pool of poison beneath the oil. The poison is the secret Victoria hides, until the well explodes and the poison spreads out over a wide area.

AI GENERATED

I’m writing a TV Series that is [format/genre] about [concept] in which the mom marries the street musician and has a baby by him, with [lead characters]. Can you generate [plot layers] and [character layers] that could play beneath the surface and be revealed in turning points or cliffhangers.

definition of layer = A new level of meaning beneath the surface that changes things. It makes us rethink what has happened up to that point and/or causes us to anticipate a new future. You start with a surface layer. Then a new layer is revealed. That new layer becomes the new surface. It is what we know as the “reality.” When the next layer is revealed, it surprises us, but soon becomes the next new surface.

PLOT LAYERS = story beneath the story.

-major scheme revealed

-mystery revealed

-thought the story was one thing, but it is another -major shift in meaning

-hidden history

-hidden plan

CHARACTER LAYERS = identity beneath the identity

-secret identity

-intrigue layers

-hidden relationships and conspiracies

-hidden character history

-hidden agenda

-wound

format/genre = crime drama

concept = a mom and her ex- scheme to steal from a street musician and his controlling mother the rights to a secret capped oil well in the Everglades.

lead characters = the mom, her ex-, her husband, her husband’s mother, her trans 13-year-old

ChatGPT

Plot Layers:

1. Major Scheme Revealed:

· Surface Layer: The mom and her ex-partner scheme to steal the rights to the secret capped oil well in the Everglades from the street musician and his controlling mother.

· New Layer: It’s unveiled that the street musician and his mother have their own elaborate scheme, and the capped oil well is just a small part of a much larger, illicit operation.

2. Mystery Revealed:

· Surface Layer: The capped oil well seems to hold significant financial value.

· New Layer: The mystery deepens when the true nature of the oil well’s contents is unveiled, tying it to a historical event or a government secret that could change the course of the story.

3. Thought the Story Was One Thing, But It Is Another:

· Surface Layer: The mom and her ex-partner pretend to be romantically involved for their scheme.

· New Layer: It’s revealed that the mom’s ex has genuine feelings for her, and the scheme is not as simple as it seems; personal motives intertwine with the criminal plot, adding emotional complexity.

4. Major Shift in Meaning:

· Surface Layer: The mom and her husband’s mother clash due to their different backgrounds and values.

· New Layer: A major revelation about a shared past between the mom and her husband’s mother changes the dynamics, leading to unexpected alliances and conflicts.

5. Hidden History:

· Surface Layer: The street musician’s past is shrouded in mystery.

· New Layer: An unexpected connection between the street musician’s history and a powerful figure is revealed, linking the current conflict to a deeper conspiracy.

6. Hidden Plan:

· Surface Layer: The mom and her ex seem to follow a straightforward plan to steal the oil well rights.

· New Layer: A hidden layer of the ex-partner’s plan is unveiled, revealing a more intricate and dangerous plot that involves larger players with their own agendas.

Character Layers:

1. Secret Identity:

· Surface Layer: The mom’s ex-partner appears as a charming accomplice.

· New Layer: His true identity as an undercover investigator, working for a government agency, comes to light, adding a layer of tension and complication to the mom’s scheme.

2. Intrigue Layers:

· Surface Layer: The trans 13-year-old is navigating adolescence and family dynamics.

· New Layer: The 13-year-old’s unique perspective and skills become essential in unraveling a cryptic aspect of the larger conspiracy, making them a key player in the unfolding events.

3. Hidden Relationships and Conspiracies:

· Surface Layer: The mom and her husband present a united front.

· New Layer: The husband has a hidden connection to one of the powerful figures involved, creating internal conflicts and loyalty dilemmas for him.

4. Hidden Character History:

· Surface Layer: The street musician’s past is a mystery.

· New Layer: A dark and unexpected chapter from the street musician’s history is revealed, influencing his choices and complicating the overall narrative.

5. Hidden Agenda:

· Surface Layer: The mom’s ex seems solely driven by the scheme.

· New Layer: A personal vendetta or an ulterior motive is uncovered, adding complexity to his character and altering the trajectory of the story.

6. Wound:

· Surface Layer: The mom’s wounds from her past marriage are hinted at.

· New Layer: The true extent of the emotional scars from her previous relationship is exposed, impacting her decisions and relationships in unforeseen ways.

Top of Form

• This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by  Lawrence Fraly.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Hi Eclipse. You’re never short of good stories to tell. And you tell them well. Good to see you here.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Hi Sunil. Good to see you here.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Margaret. Forty-four years! You survived all those illnesses and grumpy whoever’s. Certainly a lot of material, if it weren’t for HIPAA (names changed to protect the guilty). Good to see you here. Writing will hopefully fill the hole in your life that nursing left behind.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Hi Deanne. Your headache and solution remind me of Better Call Saul. Series on Netflix — spinoff from Breaking Bad. WiFi may yet be the death of us all, as conspiracy spirits might have it — also quite a few scientists. Glad you found a way to use the Internet before it abused you any further.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Hi Margaret. Good to see a familiar face. MSC15, I think. It’s been awhile.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Big Smile here. Gotta love a dad like that.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Hi KZ(ok to call you KZ as virtual friend?). I envy your ability with languages. I envy ANYONE with ability in languages. I’m terrible at it. I studied French all four years in high school and could rarely understand a word anyone said. German for three semesters, a little better. One term Italian (on the midterm, I accidentally answered all the questions in French, got the French right LOL). All through elementary school, we were taught Spanish over the P.A. I still have trouble understanding Spanish. English? I’m not too bad.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Hi Tom. Spacecraft at JPL? Wow!

[Lawrence Fraly]

Hi Kristina (KZ). What a life! Since I was fourteen, I’ve dreamed of living in Paris.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Hi Jeffrey. You’re an accomplished professional entertainer/artist, for sure. Glad to be in the same course with you.

[Lawrence Fraly]

HI Deborah. Congratulations on your series. Also on completing so much.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Hi Sara. I know quite few people who could use your therapy, especially me and everyone in my family.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Hi Renee. I don’t know which is more interesting, archery or that you were in the Junior Olympics. Either way (or both), I’m impressed.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Karyn, I think Ali’s refusal went way past doing the required. He spoke out against the entire establishment. I wonder what he’d say about this movie, and this monologue if he were of the same mental capacity as he was in 1967 at the height of the war and fight for civil rights.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Cheryl,I remember when Ali was drafted and refused to fight. I don’t remember his exact words, but I remember his anger was far stronger and his speech more specific and comprehensive than this monologue portrays. I suspect the producers/writers/etc. toned down Ali’s speech so they wouldn’t alienate or instill violence in their audience. I mean, look who they chose to play Ali.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Karyn, I love this comedy, probably because I’ve been in similar situation to Greg, which many suitors probably have. What works for me is that Greg and Jack are so extremely different from each other, it seems like the movie might have been written specifically for Robert De Niro and Ben Stiller.

[Lawrence Fraly]

“Will breached a boundary”. You nailed it! That’s what Will sets out to do, but this time he breached too far.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Deborah. YES! They are right characters because Sean can stand up to Will, as no one else has throughout. I had missed that. Your response is a good example of putting all the lessons together, not just the one we’re focusing on. Thanks for nudging me to be more aware.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Sandeep. You see more than I do, and I’m glad you pointed out that all the elements of lesson 4 are in this scene.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Karyn. Wow! Truths at the opposite ends of the continuum–that completely escaped me. I never thought or felt to look deeper than the obvious into the philosophical implications, a kind of archetypal revelation, whether the writer intends it or not. I feel like I’m back in grad school–and loving it. Thanks for that.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Karyn. Definitely agree about the cultural contrasts/conflicts. To me, that’s what makes this movie stand out as incredibly brilliant writing–showing both sides of the equation, with of course, the Southern small-mindedness being less equal than New Yorkers.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Patricia. I agree about the underdog. The key is to create an underdog who either every roots against or for. If it’s not a genuine underdog, I doubt the audience would cheer that person on.

[Lawrence Fraly]

I think the song alone is almost enough to carry this scene…and his awe reflecting my own awe at her suddenly singing to/for the universe, not just him or herself. Amazing song.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Karyn, love how you put the drama in such clear and simple terms. You must be excellent at writing loglines and concepts.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Thanks for that about Danny showing up before Terry as a model for him being a step ahead of Terry (plot and character). These are the kinds of layers I often miss… the ones buried in plain sight.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Leona, I hadn’t thought of them as underdogs. Given this insight, I can now see a much broader arc for both. Very helpful.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Patricia, I think you nailed their stereotypes perfectly. I’m not a fan of Rom/Com but Tom Hanks is up there with the best, able to play any role he chooses. Most of the time, I’m aware of his acting, because, in away, he’s always Tom Hanks. I’ll choose movies often by the actors in them. His earlier movies have escaped me though.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Leona. Your awareness of Rom/Com conventions is spot on. As are your own characters, the ones I’ve read that is.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Paul, I like your mention of Sam’s son. The kid has as more on the ball than anyone else in this scene. He’s present, and aware of the situation without being tearful or longing or sentimental. You might say his trait is maturity.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Karyn. Perfect! Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks belong together, so their characters do. You made me realize that I was watching the actors not the characters.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Sandeep. I learn a lot every time I read your “ignorance”. You’ve made me realize I should find as much as I can about a movie in order to give better context to whatever scene we’re analyzing. Your use of the terms “magic” and “rational” also illuminate much of this scene for me, as I find this entire scene to be rather dreamlike, especially when I see them both snap back to the present when Marcia takes a break from Sam’s call. So, thanks for all that and more.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Karyn. Fear and self-doubt. Your insight here gives me a much broader perspective to view this scene. Will’s insecurity in this scene is complete opposite to the scene in the bar when he confronts the arrogant grad student.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Deb. I love that you brought up Banshees. Their wounds are almost inexplicable, because they are so tied to each other’s identity that when Colm breaks away, they both break into antagonists, archetypes of love / hate being two sides of the same universe. Somehow, that does seem very relevant to the love / hate that Will expresses.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Sandeep. Thanks for pointing out that Will is lying. Also, the contemporary nature of their wounds. Outwardly, at least. I suspect these two wounds are not limited to our era.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Deb. “forcing a trait to manifest itself”. That says so much about writing characters that resonate. I’m going to hear that phrase in my mind a long time.

[Lawrence Fraly]

JR, you said it all about the script’s future being changeable. Sometimes I have to remind myself the outline is not set in stone. I spend too much time trying to make things fit into my outline instead of letting the plot and characters determine the outline. When I outline, I wil have to let myself get more flexible. I appreciate your insights!

[Lawrence Fraly]

Paul, so well said, and in simple language even I can understand, about this scene (living into the future) is a pattern for creating our characters, who don’t know where they’re going. Usually, though, when I think I know their future, they surprise me by taking paths I couldn’t see in the beginning.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Your breakthrough moment, has now become another one of mine. Thanks! Also, I see the everyman in this too. What I didn’t see until your post was how this is like Rocky — underdog. At least not in those words. You put it so much more clearly than I do.

[Lawrence Fraly]

I can’t help loving Will and Chuckie and their third friend’s (wicked smart). Together none of them are out of place anywhere. Alone, each could tumble over their own swag.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by  Lawrence Fraly.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Tone of voice seems to be as powerful as the words themselves, and the pacing. Will’s pacing is staccato. Chuckie begins fun and easy going. But falls quickly as does his face when called out by the grad student’s snarky tone and pregnant pauses waiting for each dart to smack Chuckie right in the ego. So maybe it’s the words that move the plot while it’s the tones of subtext that motivate the plot. At least, it feels that way to me.

[Lawrence Fraly]

I’m missed that the grad student is trying to impress Skylar. I saw him simply going after an easy prey in Chuckie. But I do see the possibility. I’ll have to watch the scene again to see how much attention the grad student is throwing at her, such as his physical proximity and what his gestures might indicate.

[Lawrence Fraly]

You folks are really perceptive. Seems I missed quite a bit about Skylar. I pretty much saw her as a foil. But I completely missed her interest in Will. As well as her difference in attire than the other girls.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Leona!!!

[Lawrence Fraly]

David,

Love your response! Covers a lot of bases and worded far better than I could. Literate, like a novel.

[Lawrence Fraly]

Where is the link to Good Will Hunting scene? I don’t see it and can’t find it.