Larry Ridlen
Forum Replies Created
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Larry Ridlen’s Marketing Campaign
What I learned doing this assignment is…
Seeing the words “great writing” repeatedly in the link makes me question the current level of my script, and… I feel like I need to do yet another rewrite. Maybe then I’ll be at least a step closer to doing the others. In the meantime I’ll focus on:
Marketing Campaign #7: Building Your Network
Compile a list of producers, actors, assistants, and so forth, who seem positioned to help get the movie made.
Use LinkedIn to try to connect with them.
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Larry Ridlen’s Query Letter Draft ONE
Dear Producer Name:
BIO: Optioned screenwriter with an IMDB credit. Larry’s scripts have placed in numerous contests including PAGE and ScreenCraft.
Title: Befudled Path
Genre: Sci-fi/fantasy
Is it possible to combine all realities into a perfect one?
Jim has the power to merge alternate realities. The problem is, he doesn’t know it. His befuddled path begins when he meets the woman of his dreams, Kim. She hates drugs. So does he.
Too bad he’s secretly a drug runner for the mob.
On a drug run in Jamaica, Herbie, a Rastafarian, trains Jim to use his power. Kim gets kidnapped! Executing a desperate plan to rescue her, Jim tries to use his reality-bending powers to create the perfect reality.
Turns out… Jim worked for the FBI all along!
If you like the concept, I’d be happy to send the script, BEFUDDLED PATH.
Larry Ridlen
Phone
Address
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Larry Ridlen’s Target Market
What I learned doing this assignment is…
As I was going through it, and rereading the assignment again I realized I may have been too specific in the sense of “movies like mine.” I was largely looking for plots centered around alternate realities. I think next time, I’d be more general… sci-fi.
Title:
Befudled Path
Logline:
A man discovers he has the power to traverse dimensions after grudgingly becoming a mule between Jamaican drug lords and the New York mafia in order to pay his special needs brother’s inadvertent gambling debt.
Genre: Sci-fi/fantasy
Movies like mine:
The One
Entangled (2019)
Possible Worlds
Infinitum: Subject Unknown (2021)
Between Waves (2020)
Actors I’d like:
Jim – a Tom Holland type
Kim – Peyton List (Corba Kai)
Herbie – Richard Chevolleau (Narc, Earth Final Conflict)
Earth Final Conflict
Producers:
The One:
Tom Boles … coordinating producer
Steven Chasman … producer
Todd Garner … executive producer
Glen Morgan … producer
Charles Newirth … producer
Lata Ryan … executive producer
Tom Sherak … executive producer
Greg Silverman … executive producer
Happy Walters … executive producer
James Wong … producer
Entangled (2019):
Michelle Aseltine … Line Producer/Production Manager
Bev Bliss … producer
Andrew Chang-Sang … executive producer
Racheal Forbes … executive producer
Jason Ross Jallet … producer
Jessica Labi … executive producer
Ty Reinhardt … producer’s assistant
William G. Santor … executive producer
Ron Simons … executive producer
Possible Worlds:
Sandra Cunningham … producer
Ted East … executive producer
Bruno Jobin … producer
Victor Loewy … executive producer
Charlotte Mickie … executive producer
Infinitum: Subject Unknown (2021):
Matthew Butler-Hart … executive producer / producer
Tori Butler-Hart … executive producer / producer
Anthony Pye-Jeary … executive producer
Between Waves (2020):
Virginia Abramovich … producer
Jorge Contras … associate producer
Susan Curran … executive producer
Alexandros Gounaropoulos … executive producer
Fiona Graham … executive producer
Christine Guerin … executive producer
Alex Jordan … producer
Derek Liscoumb … executive producer
Scott McCuaig … line producer
Alan McKenna … associate producer
Peter Medeiros … associate producer
Franco Menniti … executive producer (as Frank Menniti)
Kirk Middleton … associate producer
Filipe Tavares … line producer: Portugal
Stephen Trivieri … associate producer
Actors I’d like:
Jim – a Tom Holland type
Kim – Peyton List (Corba Kai)
Herbie – Richard Chevolleau (Narc, Earth Final Conflict)
To find a producer who knows Richard Chevaolleau:
Earth Final Conflict:
Stephen Roloff … producer (110 episodes, 1997-2002)
Angela Mastronardi … associate producer (66 episodes, 1999-2002)
Majel Barrett … executive producer (49 episodes, 1997-1999)
David Kirschner … executive producer (49 episodes, 1997-1999)
Seaton McLean … executive producer (49 episodes, 1997-1999)
Paul Gertz … executive producer / co-executive producer (44 episodes, 1997-1999)
John Calvert … producer (27 episodes, 1997-1999)
Richard C. Okie … executive producer (22 episodes, 1997-1998)
Emanuele ‘Manny’ Danelon … line producer (22 episodes, 1998-1999)
Jonas McCord … executive producer (12 episodes, 1998-1999)
Carleton Eastlake … executive producer (10 episodes, 1999)
Rod Roddenberry … associate producer (2 episodes, 1997)
Sherri Saito … line producer (unknown episodes)
Harry ‘Doc’ Kloor … producer (uncredited) (20 episodes, 1997-1998)
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Larry Ridlen’s Phone Pitch
What I learned from this lesson is…
Having the answers to these questions before calling is a lot more professional than trying to wing it.
Lead with credibility.
Hi, I’m Larry Ridlen. I’m an optioned and award-winning screenwriter. I’m wondering if I could run a quick concept by you?
I’ve got a Sci-Fi/Fantasy called BEFFUDLED PATH. (Light pause) It’s about Jim, a man trying to save his girlfriend from his employers… the mob. In doing so he discovers he has the ability to reshape reality.
3. Give us a one or two sentence answer to the questions a producer may ask:
What’s the budget range?
Middle budget: $15 million to $30 million.
Who do you see in the main roles?
Jim – a Tom Holland type
Kim – Peyton List (Corba Kai)
Herbie – Richard Chevolleau (Narc, Earth Final Conflict)
How many pages is the script?
105 pages.
Who else has seen this?
No one.
Why do you think this fits our company?
You did Parallels which also focused on alternate realities.
How does the movie end?
Jim gets deeper into the mob with no way out. It ends with him destroying the mob, getting the girl, and it turns out… Jim was an FBI agent the whole time!
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Larry Ridlen’s Pitch Fest Pitch
What I learned is…
To try to think in terms of hooks rather than details.
Hi, I’m Larry and I’m an optioned screenwriter. I’ve got a Sci-Fi/Fantasy called BEFFUDLED PATH. (Light pause) It’s about Jim, a man trying to save his girlfriend from his employers… the mob. In doing so he discovers he has the ability to reshape reality.
What is the budget range?
Middle budget: $15 million to $30 million
What actors do you like for the lead roles?
Jim – Tom Holland (or a type like him)
Kim – Peyton List (Corba Kai)
Herbie – Richard Chevolleau (Narc, Earth Final Conflict)
Give me the acts of the story.
ACT 1. Jim works as a drug mule to pay his brother’s debt. On a drug run he meets the woman of his dreams, and his destiny to merge alternate realities.
ACT 2. Jim learns to wield his power. The mob sinks its hooks in deeper and Kim gets kidnapped.
ACT 3. Using his power Jim kills the bad guys and saves a bunch of innocents, including Kim. He forges his nearly perfect reality, and begins building a new life for his loved-ones.
How does it end? (setup / payoff).
It starts with Jim getting deeper into the mob with no way out. It ends with him destroying the mob, getting the girl, and it turns out… Jim was an FBI agent the whole time!
Credibility questions What have you done?
I have an IMDB credit for a short film and several of
my feature length scripts have placed in numerous contests including PAGE and StoryPros. -
Larry Ridlen’s Query Letter
What I learned doing this assignment is…
Keep it SHORT.
Is it possible to combine all realities into a perfect one?
Jim has the power to merge alternate realities. The problem is, he doesn’t know it. His befuddled path begins when he meets the woman of his dreams, Kim. She hates drugs. So does he.
Too bad he’s secretly a drug runner for the mob.
On a drug run in Jamaica, Herbie, a Rastafarian, trains Jim to use his power. Kim gets kidnapped! Executing a desperate plan to rescue her, Jim tries to use his reality-bending powers to create the perfect reality.
Turns out… Jim worked for the FBI all along!
If you like the concept, I’d be happy to send the script, BEFUDDLED PATH.
BIO: An optioned screenwriter with an IMDB credit, Larry’s scripts have placed in numerous contests including PAGE and ScreenCraft.
Larry Ridlen
Email
Phone
Address
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Larry Ridlen’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned doing this assignment is…
Focusing on the steps for COM and MIT beforehand makes writing the synopsis a heck of a lot smoother.
A plane just about to land disappears! Reappears a moment later in a different position.
Jim is asleep at the airport and the power to manipulate alternate realities lies in his subconscious.
His befuddled path begins when he meets the woman of his dreams, Kim. She hates drugs. So does he. Too bad he’s secretly a drug runner for the mob.
On a drug run in Jamaica Jim meets Herbie, a Rastafarian who trains him to use the power he doesn’t know he has.
As Jim and Kim get closer, he discovers Nick, a relative of the mob boss, had raped her.
In the Nexus, a place apart from all realities, Jim meets alternate versions of people he knows. They train him.
Kim gets kidnapped by Nick and the mob!
Herbie and Jim team up to rescue Kim.
In a fierce battle with Nick, Jim tries to use his reality-bending powers to create the perfect reality.
Jim worked for the FBI all along!
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Larry Ridlen’s High Concept/Elevator Pitch
What I learned doing this assignment is…
The purpose of a High Concept is not to describe the story. It is to get an emotional reaction. Don’t know about anyone else, but for me, this was a tough one. I’m very detail-oriented and always thought, the more details the better. Having to strip away the details left me staring at the proverbial blank page for a long time, but… It provided me with a different viewpoint regarding my story. It wasn’t the set-up or how my character got into this mess in the first place. It was what happened further into the story where the stakes became really high.
The elevator pitch, combined with the 10 Components of Marketability, gave me an understanding of what might generate interest from a producer. Focusing on the most marketable single detail might resonate with a producer more than several details I think are cool.
1. A drug mule gains the power to reshape reality.
2. A drug mule with the power to bend reality tries to save his girlfriend.
3. Doing a quick edit on a script about a guy with the ultimate power; merging alternate realities.
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Larry Ridlen’s 10 Most Interesting Things
What I learned doing this assignment is…
Book reports or summaries don’t grab the producers.
BEFUDDLED PATH
<div>
A.
Unique Hero: A drug mule learns how to change reality.</div><div>B.
Major hook of your opening scene: A plane just about to land disappears
then reappears a moment later in a different position, amid a voiceover
explaining The Many Worlds Theory.C.
Turning Points: When picking up drugs in Jamaica Jim meets Herbie, a Rastafarian
who trains him.In
the Nexus, a place apart from all realities, Jim meets alternate versions
of people he knows, and they train him.As
Jim and Kim get closer, he discovers that Nick, a relative of the mob
boss, had raped her.Kim
gets kidnapped!D.
Emotional dilemma: To prevent more suffering Jim must kill the Nick. But
can he live with that?E.
Reveal: Jim blames himself for Billy getting molested by their uncle.F.
Reversals: Just when it seems Jim is about to pay off the debt in full an
FBI sting lands Billy in jail. The mob boss bails him out… for a price.G.
Character betrayals: While he always seemed in Jim’s corner, the mob boss
has been pulling strings to keep Jim under his control!H.
Surprise: Jim works for the FBI to take down the mob!</div>
OTHER INTERESTING THINGS IN BEFUDDLED PATH
<div>
Nick
has powers of his own!</div><div>Cool
fight scene where Jim uses his reality-bending powers against Nick.</div><div>
Herbie
and Jim team up to rescue Kim.An
alternate version of Herbie is the pilot of the plane flying Jim to
Jamaica.The plane crashes with Jim and Alternate Herbie on it
which resets into another reality.</div>
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Larry Ridlen Producer/Manager
I would say to the producer: “I have a great script with intriguing characters and a catchy title that would fit in well with the genre of movies you make. I am committed to getting this movie made. I’m happy to do any rewrites. Just tell me what YOU need.”
I would say to the manager: “I have several great scripts with fascinating characters. I am committed to a career as a successful screenwriter. I’m happy to do any rewrites. Just tell me what YOU need.”
What I learned today is:
Successful collaboration is dependent on the flexibility of the writer.
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I’m Larry Ridlen (he/him). I have written or co-written five features and two shorts. One of the features was optioned but has since expired, and one of the shorts was produced. From this class I am looking to gain the skills necessary to build a successful writing career. Something unusual about me: I am the co-creator and co-writer of the comic book series, City of Mith and I also do the lettering.
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Larry Ridlen’s Marketable Components
What I learned doing this assignment is…
Pitches need to hook producers quickly. One may have a great story, but without a marketable component, no one may read it.
A man discovers he has the power to traverse dimensions after grudgingly becoming a mule between Jamaican drug lords and the New York mafia in order to pay his special needs brother’s inadvertent gambling debt.
Components of Marketability:
Unique: Not many scripts have a drug mule with the ability to cross into alternate realities.
Great title: BEFUDDLED PATH. I like it because befuddled is a word that, while most people know it’s meaning, not many use it in everyday conversations.
Elevating the pitch:
Unique: For many, drugs provide an escape from reality. Who better than one who facilitates this is better suited to actually delve into and learn to manipulate other realities?
Great Title: Most people do not live their lives
in a straight line. Their paths are wrought with detours, hardships, mistakes,
and regrets; thus, their paths become befuddled. -
Larry Ridlen’s Project and Market
Genre: Sci-fi
Title: Befuddled Path
Concept: A man discovers he has the power to traverse dimensions after grudgingly becoming a mule between Jamaican drug lords and the New York mafia in order to pay his special needs brother’s inadvertent gambling debt.
As he finds a flaw, mistake or failing in his dimension, with practice, he learns to merge alternate realities into his own to create the best possible life for himself and those he loves. Also, he totally crushes the bad guys!
Producers. Seems like this might go easier with a smaller, perhaps independent company.
What I learned today is…
Marketing is a necessary tool to learn to
utilize as a screenwriter. -
Larry Ridlen
I agree to the terms of this release form.
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Hi Frank!
Don’t feel bad about anything. You are right on all counts. I was trying to incorporate hooks over details… and I think I overdid it. To clarify some points, Jim is able to jump into alternate realities and merge them with his own, Herbie is sort of a Yoda, and the title should change to something more attention grabbing. I’ll need to rework this, but the forum for this class will probably close before I can come up with something. I’d like to keep in contact with you as our critiques seem to have benefited both of us.
My email is:
I’m posting and sending this to the email you posted, in case this closes before you read it.
Thank you for your suggestions. They are very much appreciated and helpful.
Larry Ridlen
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Larry Ridlen’s Critique or Frank Livorsi’s Rhapsody in Blue:
Hey Frank!
I am by no means an expert in this, but I tried to read it as a producer and made changes accordingly. I explained the WHY in (parenthesis) as I went along, and put a full edited version at the bottom. Take it for what’s it worth.
He killed his father, and stole another man’s wife. Should a cop be doing that? (Comment: I felt this was excellent. Right to the point. Indeed, an intriguing hook! In fact, your hook is SO strong, I’m not even sure you need the Logline, at least for query purposes, as you explain the bulk of it in the first paragraph of your synopsis. I removed it in my rewrite at the bottom, but did a TINY bit of editing a few lines down from here)
I just completed a script in the style of Film Noir that I would like to submit to you for consideration. FYI…I had one script produced and two others optioned. (Comment: Impressive! You are a produced screenwriter. Got my attention right away. Suggestions: Leave out “I just completed a script in the style of Film Noir that I would like to submit to you for consideration. FYI…” keep in mind: they know you are submitting for their consideration. Make it less wordy. Just say “Genre: Film Noir”
“Bio: Frank is a produced screenwriter with two other scripts optioned.”
Here is the logline.
An off- duty policeman is handed a letter from his deceased mother, by a sister he never knew existed. When he decides to find out the identity of his real father, he uncovers a political scandal from 35 years ago, involving both his parents.
(Question: how important is it that he is “off-duty”? Or that his unknown sister gave it to him? Don’t get me wrong. You know your story. If it’s important, fine. I’m just trying to make it a bit shorter. And, hey… my logline was so long and detail oriented, I decided to remove it for the purpose of query letters, at least for this assignment, because it hindered the flow.)
Logline: A cop gets a letter from his deceased mother, revealing the identity of his real father. Searching for him, he uncovers an old political scandal involving both his parents.
Here’s a brief recap of “Rhapsody In Blue”: (Comment: when I see the word “recap” it makes me think what I am about to see will refresh my memory or fill in big details of something I may have missed. For example “Previously on Loki” and it’s followed by a brief recap of previous episode. When I first read your query, I thought: is this a series… perhaps a sequel?)
Detective Richie Holiday gets a letter from his unknown birth mother, delivered by a sister he 8never knew existed. Same mother, different fathers. A simple search for his father turns out to be much more, as bodies start piling up when he gets close to the truth.
As a member of the highway commission, his mother was a party girl, with a lust for good times. His father, it seems, had to be a member of that same commission.
Layer after layer of evidence points to a political scandal from years ago. Evidence was found that can’t be used in court, and Richie determines there’s only one way to bring this group to justice. (While I did make a FEW changes in my rewrite below, I really felt I wanted to know the answer to this question: “What is the only way to bring them to justice?” Killing them? Exposing them online? Then I thought, “What the heck WAS this scandal anyway? In short, you got me interested! GREAT JOB!)
His own home life gets complicated as he takes in his homeless sister, and has an affair with his married partner. (This part was less interesting. I’m not saying you should remove it, but at least consider it, or possibly moving it, but I’m not sure where. I just feel you should end on the part about only one way to bring them to justice. I removed it in my rewrite below.)
Please let me know if you’d be interested in reading, “Rhapsody In Blue.”
Frank Livorsi
847-366-0032
All right Frank! Just a side note. Your title caught my attention. Seemed familiar. I googled it and, as you probably know, it was also the title of a 1945 movie about George Gershwin. Once I realized this, it reinforced the Noir that you are going for. That made your movie more interesting to me. I could almost hear period jazz playing over a black-and-white opening scene.
When you have a moment, I would appreciate any input from you about my query. Good luck in your endeavors.
My suggestions for a rewrite are:
Dear Producer:
Bio: Frank is a produced screenwriter with two other scripts optioned.
He killed his father, and stole another man’s wife. Should a cop be doing that?
Title: Rhapsody in Blue
Genre: Film Noir
Detective Richie Holiday gets a letter from his unknown birth mother, delivered by a sister he never knew existed. Same mother, different fathers. A simple search for his father turns out to be much more, as bodies start piling up when he gets close to the truth.
As a member of the highway commission, his mother was a party girl, with a lust for good times. His father, it seems, had to be a member of that same commission.
Layer after layer of evidence points to a political scandal from years ago, but it’s inadmissible in court. Richie decides there’s only one way to bring this group to justice.
Please let me know if you’d be interested in reading, “Rhapsody In Blue.”
Frank Livorsi
847-366-0032