[Lauren Y Walker]

Dialogue Covers Subtext

I would like to use this tactic in the opening scene to immediately have the reader wonder if the detective that Lisa is pulled over by, a bad cop who is by the book and by the shield and not one to look out for fellow African Americans, or is there more to him than meets the eye. Can he be trusted…what side of the shield does he stand on is the question I will plant in the readers’ heads with dialogue the covers subtext.

Dialogue Points to Subtext

In the scene that will reveal the story’s theme there will be an incident at the truck plaza cashier area where being ignored or served or even skipped over becomes the experience of a person not of color. They get a taste of treatment that those of color experience from time to time. This will occur on the heels of having been watched as they went through the store, simply because their clothing suggested homeless or indigent. The dialogue between the victim and the cashier points to incantation on the part of cashier that they made assumptions based upon biases/stereotypes and the exchange by the victim has subtext undertones that this behavior is not acceptable and in their estimation should be reserved for those of color – they are above that treatment.

What I learned is that great subterfuge can begin on page one with good subtext dialogue banter. I haven’t completed the assignment with dialogue cause dialogue is hard for me, but this assignment has forced me like the Subtext Action assignment to look at my scene outline a consider where I can add these elements.

[Lauren Y Walker]

What I learned is that in trying to figure out something to write for two scenes (which I haven’t STILL), I did identify several scenes where I do want to include these subtext elements…actually 14 different scenes. I am excited to consider incorporating these elements in several areas because I think it will inherently ensure a suspenseful element is sprinkled throughout the story without much effort. I can also use these elements to provide hints for things that will be more meaningful in subsequent books in the series…breadcrumbs, if you will. I also realize it is a way to provide a little background when needed without being too on the nose…just through action we learn more about the character.

Action Opposite Dialogue

These are notes to myself not actual dialogue, but there is a scene in my story where I want the protagonist/amateur sleuth to be “in the zone” as far as hunting down and analyzing clues, but I don’t want her to realize what she is doing. I want to craft the scene so that what she says indicates that she has no business trying to determine who the murderer is, she has no experience and no clue how to even start tracking down info, but there are very subtle actions (not sure what those are yet) or things she observes and slyly takes note of that makes the reader and eventually Tera know that her background is far different than what she has led her and Rose to believe. This scene will heightened suspicions raised by Tera and Rose in an earlier scene when they overheard her dictating some information into her phone that sounded like he expertise of a forensics professional, not just a lowly truck driver who reads crime novels. Lisa has put herself in an awkward position and will realize it, and somehow cover that to keep suspicions down…Will she succeed?

Action Covers Something Covert

I feel like I need a scene where the killer realizes that law enforcement is too close to determining who is guilty and sets a trap for Lisa. Not sure what that trap is specifically, but I know that I want the set up to not only make Lisa think twice about continuing her search, but it frames at least one of the red herrings. The trap will involve the killer mirroring the behavior of the herring of them doing something that squarely makes both look like they could have been responsible for murder #2, based on evidence found at the murder scene, but the behavior on the part of the killer is truly the covert action. An example, though bad, is perhaps both the herring and the killer are getting rid of their brand of sneakers that has the same print mark found at the murder scene. One is getting rid of them because they have found to not provide enough support and is aggravating the owners’ plantar fasciitis. The other person is getting rid of them because of knowledge of investments the company is in that don’t align with the social values that person has.

• This reply was modified 4 years ago by  Lauren Y Walker.

[Lauren Y Walker]

I learned that I actually had more subtext than I thought and it occurs ironically enough, at my plot points. I learned how to better identify what subtext is and that it isn’t quite as difficult as I thought and as well, I need more of it in the story.

Misinterpretation

• Subtext Situation: At the plaza where the first body is found, Lisa overhears Detective Guy talk about the death of a black trucker
• Surface: Detective Guy shows no interest in the death of the trucker/blows it off
• Beneath Surface: His behavior masks his real interest. He saw a similarity on the victim as he did on photos on a cold case(bro)

Superior Position

• Subtext Situation: Lisa is at the funeral of her ex
• Surface: Detective Guy talks to Lisa about staying away and letting the cops handle it
• Beneath Surface: What he says lets her know he knows her secret. She wonders if the secret is safe.

What he doesn’t realize is the secret he has, isn’t the secret she is trying to keep

Deception

• Subtext Situation: The ladies lunch (bonding)
• Surface: The ladies all share their background; how they got into trucking; men
• Beneath Surface: Their conversation deceives the reader and each other; nobody is telling the whole truth; they all know
more than what they say; they are trying to each get info on the other because they think the other Is guilty

Sabotage

• Subtext Situation: Lisa comes to Guy’s office to go to dinner; after reluctant acceptance
• Surface: They both want to try to get info from each other; she overhears him talking to Paul about destroying her career
• Beneath Surface: Guy believes that Paul is unethical and is pretending to be in sync about Lisa to really catch and destroy him

Unaware

• Subtext Situation: Lisa is in Jail supposedly because Guy believes she is guilty
• Surface: Guy is holding her and trying to force her to talk (confess)
• Beneath Surface: Guy is keeping Lisa safe because he thinks her life is in danger by Paul and he wants to snuff out Paul as the
killer (he has announced to the public that Lisa is the killer and they have caught her – she and Guy r unaware)

Can’t Say

• Subtext Situation: Lisa has gone to the cab of one of her friends
• Surface: Lisa is shooting the breeze (can’t say that she is fishing for info) with the person and during the conversation
realizes she is w/the killer
• Beneath Surface: The killer realizes begins saying things and asking questions that confirms Lisa realizes she is the killer AND
that the killer is not who she thought she was (initially can’t say that she realizes more about the killer, until a
struggle ensues

[Lauren Y Walker]

I learned in doing this assignment, that I am more in tune with their subtext (what they are hiding or lying about, as opposed to their surface story.

I suppose the surface story is that these three women are cultivating a friendship while long hauling for a living. Fellow truckers are dying, and these independent women learn they have to trust each other more than they want and in the midst of realizing that there are a few reasons for them not to.

Surface: Lisa, the protagonist, is a neophyte trucker who is struggling to keep her job. Alone and lonely, she befriends two female truckers she hears on a CB, Rose and Tera.

Subtext: Lisa, unknowingly is crippled by fear in various areas of her life, but makes decisions and exhibits behavior that would suggest she is fearless, confident and kick ass.

She is hiding many things: A fear of failure and success

An opinion she expresses covertly is she wonders if she has
unconscious bias

Ani insecurity is her fear of not being good enough/worthy

An agenda that is hidden is her past in sleepwalking and doing some things in her sleep she’d like to keep secret (afraid to say)

A secret or wound she has is abandonment issues

She covers it up through bravado, tough talk, ignoring or blowing off her numerous fears as if they aren’t affecting the way she leads her life. After her ex turns up dead, she fears that her past may be responsible for his demise.

Surface: Rose is the “elder” of the three women. A single mother and divorced, she is no nonsense bs detector. Her side hustle is being a mentor, although she doesn’t currently have a trainee.

Subtext: Rose is a bit of a saboteur, in that she sabotages the opportunities of other truckers to get big loads so she can book them for herself. She is bit of an ironic character in that she is a mother, who is less than nurturing and empathetic when it comes to others. Her less than honorable behavior ties her to at least two of the murdered truckers.

Surface: Tera is a trucker who is all about making money, by any means necessary, legally. That wasn’t always the case for her.

Surface: Tera is an undercover trucker. Her friendship with Lisa is an outright lie. Her side hustle is that she is a detective who follows truckers to monitor their skills and log infractions. Her assignment to follow and monitor Lisa. She is hiding that fact, as well as the fact that before she was a trucker, she was a dope dealer and her past ties her to at least two of the dead truckers.

[Lauren Y Walker]

I learned that I am still unclear about the subtext of this story because as I completed this first attempt, I realized how much more I can add. …which is a good thing.

Diesel Detective – Subtext Environment

The truck plaza is one subtext environment. On the surface it is where truckers congregate to talk and shop and pay for fuel. It is also where families traveling pay for their gas and shop. The subtext is, it is a microcosm of the US – a mirror of race relations in America. Truckers are relegated to entering and exiting out of one entrance and on the other side of the plaza, families enter and exit. The two rarely connect with each other and if so it is a simple nod or hello. Neither take the initiative to get have a conversation or show any inkling of concern for the other entity. They each have their pre-conceived ideas about who the people are based on the title family in a four-wheeler or trucker. <div>

2. The cabs of each of the drivers is a second subtext environment. On the surface this is where they are seen most of the time, driving. They look out of the window and see what is ahead. From a subtext point of view, the cab is confining. It serves as a metaphor for how they each think…in a limiting way. They only can see what they see, not that which is beyond the horizon and therefore their behaviors reflect that. This is much like how we as a society behave when managing interactions with others who are not of the same race or background. Our behaviors are based on pre-conceived ideas, they are often limiting because we can’t see the potential results if we behaved and believed based on possibility.

3. The third environment is the highways of America. These are the arteries that enable America’s economy to thrive. There are many ways to get to a destination, however, trucking companies usually have a pre-determined route for loads. Subtext-wise, we behave in much the same way when trying to advance as a culture in dealing systemic racism and stereotypes. The road less traveled is often the one that should be taken.

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[Lauren Y Walker]

I learned that as rough as this is, writing out the exercise brought more clarity to the overall story. I see that in the subtext of the story is where I can layer in my MIS (mystery suspense and intrigue) perhaps which until now I was feeling like more mystery didn’t have enough of(now I see an avenue for a lot) and I learned that this underlying message is what I want the take away to be. It is the more difficult of the stories I’m telling and it is the true north of the plot.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Diesel Detective

In the first scene, Lisa fishtails the semi on black ice she wasn’t aware she was driving on, nearly jackknifing the truck. The erratic move of the vehicle prompts a cop to pull her over. In an instant, she is hyper-aware and of her life being in much more peril than the fishtail. She doesn’t do herself any favors by mis-reading the cop.

Learning that her ex has died unexpectantly, knowing a secret in her past could make her responsible for his death and realizing the same cop (detective) has little interest in solving what is deemed a homicide, Lisa becomes committed to finding out the truth about her ex’s death…a truth that will give her insight into her current professional state.

In chasing clues, she’s able to find peace that she is not to blame for his death, but has a head on crash with the reality that her delusion of a road family she’s made with new friends and trust she’s built with her driver leader are an illusion at best. One is the murderer – she can trust none of them.

From bad to worse, she’s framed and the detective who arrests her is not who she thinks he is either. Delusional no more about people or trust, Lisa realizes that the price tag for truth may be too expensive.

In the end, Lisa realizes that the truth she holds in solving the murder is much bigger than she thought, and has the potential to unravel the fabric on which the culture of the US clings to and the price of not knowing the truth is non-negotiable payment that must be made.

[Lauren Y Walker]

Hi David,

My apologies for not responding right away. I am pulling down my lesson responses and saw your comment. I will definitely keep in touch. Will be looking for beta readers later this year. Thanks!

[Lauren Y Walker]

Hi David,

Thanks so much for your input. I appreciate your comments and the encouragement. particularly, that I wasn’t clear on my surface story. It brought to my attention that it benign my head doesn’t necessarily mean it is clear on the page.

Let’s see, the surface story follows a neophyte trucker on the verge of losing her job who finds that her job is further in jeopardy when she feels she has no choice but to find out why her ex died, instead of spending her spare time focusing on improving her driving skills as a trucker.