LEE SKORE
Forum Replies Created
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Lee Skore’s Marketable Components
4 — What I learned:
Having strong components and knowing how to empahasize them is important.
1 — Current logline:
Her recurring nightmares are repressed memories of her parents’ horrific murders and now someone wants to kill her too, but she survives only if she discovers the mystery of her past.
2 — Marketable components:
B. Great title — Telling Lies.
J. Great roles for bankable actors — (a) Dakota Fanning or someone like her (b) someone similar to Chris Pine.
3 — Brainstorm/elevate:
Telling Lies: (a) it’s obvious to the audience one character is lying to another character (b) the audience notices discrepancies in the story that lead to unexpected outcomes.
Bankable actors: 2 main characters and love interests: (a) late-20s female character is the main protagonist (b) mid-30s male actor is the 2nd protagonist.
The title is a play on words. This story has two protagonists who work together to solve the mystery.
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Lee Skore’s Project and Market
1. Genre, Title, Concept
Mystery
TELLING LIES
What do you do when someone tries to kill you and you’ve learned your life is a lie?
2. What is most attractive?
A present-day mystery with a female main character in her 20s, helped by a male character in his 30s.
3. Target first?
Producers because they manage the money and have many contacts.
4. What I learned today?
A concept and a logline are no where near the same.
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Lee Skore’s Marketing Campaign
(4) What I learned doing this assignment is:
I have to take “baby steps” because when I think of the whole process I feel overwhelmed. One step at a time feels more doable and not so intimidating.
(1) Read through campaigns and select ONE:
Marketing Campaign #6: Marketing to Producers
(2) Plan of Action:
— From the various drafts I wrote of my query letter, choose and polish the one I think will garner the most responses
— Search IMDb for more producers in my genre
— Get contact information to send emails or make phone calls to these producers
— Send query letters
— Create a strong phone pitch
— Connect with producers on LinkedIn
— Enter contests
(3) First Actions:
Make sure my query letter and my phone pitch are as strong as possible
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Lee Skore’s Query Letter DRAFT 4
TELLING LIES
Genre: Mystery
Logline: A Nantucket woman’s recurring nightmares are repressed memories of her parents’ murders twenty-five years ago, but now someone is trying to kill her, too. To survive, she must solve the mystery of her past.
GUNSHOTS. Corey screams, “Stop killing me.” She wakes… from a nightmare she has every night.
That day, the mayor insists Corey give the newly hired sheriff, a retired SEAL, a tour of the island. They explore an abandoned cottage. She finds an old photo of herself when she was three with people she doesn’t recognize. She shows the photo to friends. That night, a car forces her car over a cliff into the ocean. The sheriff rescues her.
Her parents confess she’s adopted. They found her in the abandoned cottage among three murdered people. They lied to protect her from the killer and tell the sheriff the murders were never investigated.
The sheriff finds three skeletons down a well at the cottage. Corey’s DNA matches two of them.
Who wants Corey dead? Whose lies threaten her life?
If you like the concept of TELLING LIES, I’d be happy to send you the script.
Bio: I wrote TELLING LIES with the guidance of my mentor, Chris Soth; ScreenwritingU ProSeries 63 Alum.
Best regards,
Lee Skore
801-296-1566
88 W. 50 S., #J-9
Centerville, UT 84014
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Lee Skore’s Query Letter Draft ONE
What I learned doing this assignment is: as usual, I find some of your directions very confusing. Also, I think draft two is stronger than draft one.
DRAFT ONE:
Dear…,
BIO: I have written other screenplays and have had several producers express interest in them. I wrote TELLING LIES with the guidance of my mentor, Chris Soth.
GUNSHOTS. Corey screams, “Stop killing me.” She wakes… from the same nightmare she’s had for twenty-five years.
That day Corey and the sheriff explore an abandone cottage. She finds an old photo of a three-year-old who looks like her, but with people she does not recognize. That night, someone tries to kill her.
Corey and the sheriff struggle to learn the mystery of her past.
Who wants Corey dead? What is he after? Can Corey and the sheriff bring him to justice before he kills her to keep his secret?
If you like the concept of TELLING LIES, I’d be happy to send you the script.
Best regards,
Lee Skore
(contact information)
DRAFT TWO
Dear…,
TELLING LIES
Genre: Mystery
Logline: A Nantucket woman’s recurring nightmares turn out to be repressed memories of her parents’ murders and now someone wants to kill her, too, but she only survives if she and the sheriff can solve the mystery of her past.
BIO: I’ve written other scripts, but this one I wrote with the guidance of my mentor, Chris Soth.
GUNSHOTS. Corey screams, “Stop killing me.” She wakes… from the same nightmare she’s had for twenty-five years.
That day, Corey and the sheriff explore an abandoned cottage. She finds an old photo of a three-year-old girl who looks like her with people she doesn’t recognize in a place she claims she’s never been. That night, someone tries to kill her.
She learns she’s adopted. Her parents found her in the abandoned cottage among three murdered people. Their skeletons are found. Corey’s DNA matches two of them.
Can Corey and the sheriff learn the mystery of her past before the murderer kills her too?
If you like the concept of TELLING LIES, I’d be happy to send you the script.
Best regards,
Lee Skore
801-296-1566
88 W 50 S, #J-9, Centerville, UT 84014
Please critique. Thank you.
DRAFT THREE
TELLING LIES
Genre: Mystery
Logline: Corey’s recurring nightmares are repressed memories of her parents’ murders twenty-five years ago, but now someone is trying to kill her, too, and she only survives if she solves the mystery of her past.
Bio: I wrote TELLING LIES with the guidance of my mentor, Chris Soth; ScreenwritingU ProSeries Alumni.
GUNSHOTS. Corey screams, “Stop killing me.” She wakes… from the same nightmare she has every night.
That day, the mayor, Corey’s boss, insists she give the newly hired sheriff, a retired SEAL, a tour of the island. They explore an abandoned cottage. She finds an old photo of herself when she was three with people she doesn’t recognize. The sheriff believes she knows them, she claims she doesn’t. Corey shows the photo to frinds at dinner. That night, someone runs her car off the road into the ocean. The sheriff rescues her.
Her parents admit she’s adopted. They found her in the abandoned cottage among three murdered people. They tell the sheriff the murders were never investigated.
The sheriff searches the cottage and finds three skeletons. Corey’s DNA matches two of them.
Who wants Corey dead? Why did they kill her parents? What are the after now? Can Corey and the sheriff bring them to justice before they kill Corey to keep their secret?
If you like the concept of TELLING LIES, I’d be happy to send you the script.
Best regards,
Lee Skore
801-296-1566
88 W. 50 South, #J-9
Centerville, UT 84014
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This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by LEE SKORE.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by LEE SKORE.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by
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Lee Skore’s Target Market
(3) What I learned doing this assignment is:
First–your directions were not accurate, and I HAD to set up an IMDb account–then I was able to access information. It’s nice to have all these people’s names, but what do I do with them now?
(4) TITLE: TELLING LIES
LOGLINE: A Nantucket woman’s recurring nightmares turn out to be repressed memories of her parents’ murders and now someone wants to kill her, too, but she only survives if she and the sheriff can solve the mystery of her past.
GENRE: Mystery
(1) List of movies: I don’t know all the budgets for the films below, but they’re similar genres:
Where The Crawdads Sing, Knives Out, The Little Things, Death on the Nile, Malignant, Wind River.
List of actors:
Female leads — Dakota Fanning, Kara Kilmer, Naomi Scott
Male leads — Taylor Kinney, Chris Pine, Jake Gyllenhaal
(2) Producers:
Crawdads: Betsy Dansbury, Rhonde Tollefson, Reese Witherspoon, Jon Wu
Knives Out: Ram Bergman, Rian Johnson, Tom Karnowski, Leopold Hughes, Nikos Karamigios
Little Things: Josh Lieberman, Scott Marder, Christina Pazsitzky, Michael Rotenberg, Tom Segura
Death on the NIle: Kenneth Branagh, Mark Gordon, Judy Hofflund Matthew Jenkins, Simon Kinberg, James Prichard, Ridley Scott, Kevin Walsh
Malignant: a total of 25 executive producers, co-executive producers, co-producers
Wind River: a total of 29 executive producers, producers, associate prducers
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Lee Skore Phone Pitch
(4) What I learned from this lesson:
Choosing the strongest idea(s), but presenting it/them very concisely so a producer can see the WHOLE movie, is challenging.
(1) Which of the 4 strategies to open the pitch? Credibility, title, concept
Hi, I’m Lee Skore, I wrote my script with the guidance of my mentor, Chris Soth. The title is TELLING LIES. The concept is a Nantucket woman must solve the mystery of her past before the person who murdered her parents kills her too.
(2) Answers to the following:
— Budget range: Probably in the $15-$30 million range.
— Main roles: Female lead: Dakota Fanning, Kara Kilmer; Male lead: Taylor Kinney, or someoe like Jake Gyllenhaal or Chris Pine.
— Number of pages: 104
— Who else has seen this: Chris Soth and one friend
— Why I think it fits your company: You have produced other mystery movies in the same budget range of TELLING LIES.
— How does thi movie end:
Setup: Corey wakes from her nightmare screaming, “Stop killing me.” She finds 3 skeletons down an old well and learns her DNA matches 2 of the skeletons. Someone tries to kill her. She must solve the mystery of her past before the killer tries to murder her again.
Payoff: Corey fights for her life, kills her attacker, and survives.
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Lee Skore’s Pitch Fest Pitch
What I learned is: Choosing the best opening hook to peak the producer’s interest the most is challenging.
(1) Credibility
Though I’ve written several other scripts, my mentor, Chris Soth, guided me through the whole process of writing this script.
(2) Genre and Title
The genre is Mystery and the title is TELLING LIES.
(3) Hook
To survive another attempt on her life, a Nantucket woman must solve the mystery of her past before the person who murdered her parents kills her too.
(4) Answer these:
— Budget: Because the location is Nantucket Island and there are underwater shots, I think the range would be $15-$30 million.
— Actors: Female lead — Naomi Scott, Kara Kilmer, Blu Hunt, Emma Nelson; Male lead — Taylor Kinney, someone like Chris Pine.
— Acts: (I) Corey finds a photo of herself when she was 3 years old with 2 young adults she doesn’t recognize in an old cottage she claims she’s never been to.
(2) Corey survives two murder attempts on her life, learns she’s adopted, and her DNA matches the DNA of 2 skeletons found down a well near the old cottage.
(3) Corey battles her parents’ murder — the same person trying to murder her — and kills that person.
— End: Corey solves the mystery of her past and kills the person who’s attempted to murder her.
— Credibility: I’ve written several other scripts, but my mentor, Chris Soth, guided my through the whole process of writing TELLING LIES.
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Lee Skore’s Query Letter
Dear …,
BIO: I have written other screenplays and have had several producers express interest in them. I wrote TELLING LIES with the guidance of my mentor, Chris Soth.
GUNSHOTS. Corey screams, “Stop killing me.” She wakes… from the same nightmare she’s had for twenty-five years.
That day, Corey and the sheriff explore an abandoned cottage. She finds an old photo of a three-year-old girl who looks like her, but with people she does not recognize. That night, someone tries to kill her.
Her mom and dad tell her she’s adopted. They found her in an abandoned cottage among three murdered people. They lied to protect her from whomever killed them.
Corey and the sheriff struggle to learn the mystery of her past.
Who wants Corey dead? What is he after? Can Corey and the sheriff bring him to justice before he kills her to keep his secret?
If you like the concept of TELLING LIES, I’d be happy to send you the script.
Best regards,
Lee Skore
801.296.1566
88 West 50 South, #J-9, Centerville, UT 84014
(5) What I learned doing this assignment is:
Some of the hooks I chose for the query letter are different from some I used in the synopsis because I thought they are more interesting and make the letter flow better.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by LEE SKORE.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by
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Lee Skore’s Synopsis Hooks
(5) What I learned doing this assignment is: to make the synposis flow better, I included a few hooks that I did not list in my previous assignments. (I had 23 hooks in my own MIT list, but only listed 10 for the assignment)
(6) LIST OF HOOKS:
— Figure dressed head-to-toe in black bursts into an old cottage, gun drawn. GUNSHOTS. SCREAMS. Three people dead.
— Twenty-five years later, Corey (lead character) finds a photo of herself with two people she doesn’t recognize.
— Corey survives the first attempt on her life.
— Corey learns she is adopted.
— Three skeletons are found at the old cottage.
— Corey’s DNA matches the DNA of two skeletons.
— Corey learns her biological father is her boss’s illigitimate brother. Her boss is the island patriarch and wealthy town mayor.
— Corey learns she is sole heir of the mayor’s fortune.
— Corey finds the Will proving she is sole heir.
— Corey nearly dies fighting her parents’ murderer.
SYNOPSIS FIRST DRAFT:
A Nor’easter thrashes Nantucket Island. A Figure dressed head-to-toe in black bursts into an old cottage, gun drawn. GUNSHOTS. SCREAMS. Three people dead.
Twenty-five years later, Corey (lead character) investigates the old cottage with Will (sheriff) and finds a photo of herself with two people she doesn’t recognize.
That night, Corey survives the first attempt on her life. Will saves her. She also learns she is adopted. Her adoptive parents found her in the old cottage amoung three murdered bodies, but lied to protect her from a killer who might still be on the island.
Three skeletons are found down a well next to the old cottage. Corey’s DNA matches the DNA of two of the skeletons.
From the family attorney, Corey learns her biological father (Jacob) is the illigitimate brother of her boss (Chase) — the island patriarch and town mayor. And… their father (Josiah) left his entire estate to Jacob, but nothing to Chase… making Corey Josiah’s sole heir. But Josiah’s signed Will proving Corey is rightful heir is missing.
Corey finds Josiah’s signed Will. She nearly dies fighting Chase’s wife (Helen) — the person who murdered Corey’s parents twenty-five years earlier.
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Lee Skore’s High Concept/Elevator Pitch
(4) What I learned doing this aassignment is: creating a simple single High Concept sentence or the simple way to deliver the Elevator Pitch is more challenging than creating the logline.
(1) To find main hook, tell us the big picture explanation of you lead character’s journey.
Can the lead character find her parents’ murderer before the killer murders her too?
(2) How can you tell it in the most interesting way possible?
Dilemma:
A woman’s parents are murdered — she survives three attempts on her life, but can she survive a fourth one?
Main Conflict:
A woman’s parents were murdered twenty-five years ago, and now she survives three attempts on her life and must solve the mystery of her past to survive the fourth.
What’s at stake?:
Staying alive depends on a woman’s ability to solve the mystery of her past and her parents’ murders before their murderer kills her too.
Goal/Unique Opposition:
A woman learns she’s the sole heir of property for which her parents’ were murdered and she must find their killer before he murders her for it.
(3) What is your Elevator Pitch?
A Nantucket woman’s parents were murdered twenty-five years ago, but their murders were never solved, and now someone is trying to kill her too.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by LEE SKORE.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by
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Lee Skore’s 10 Most Interesting Things
(4) What I learned doing this assignment is:
Some of these hooks seem similar to me — turning points, major twists, reversals. However, I chose different hooks for each category.
(1) Go through project and see which hooks I have:
Going through my script I listed 23 hooks that fit the different categories listed.
(2) Make a list of any other things that could interest a producer:
I thought of 2 others.
(3) Organize both and select the 10 most interesting things. Post those to the forums.
(A) What is most unique about your villain and hero?
The person you suspect is the villain, is not the actual villain.
The hero learns she is not who she believed she is.
(B) Major hook of your opening scene?
A Figure dressed head-to-toe in black, bursts into a cottage, gun drawn. GUNSHOTS. SCREAMS. Three dead. Who are the Figure… the dead… and why?
(C) Any turning points?
The hero learns her DNA matches the DNA of 2 of the victims murdered in the cottage.
(D) Emotional dilemma?
The hero has romantic feelings for the sheriff but doesn’t trust he’ll solve her parents’ murders (which happened 25 years ago and were never solved) or protect her from whoever is trying to kill her now.
(E) Major twists?
The hero learns her adoptive parents found her in the cottage where the 3 people were murdered, but lied to protect her.
A fireman removes the hero’s body from a devastating fire.
(F) Reversals?
The hero is alive.
(G) Character betrayals?
The suspected villain is killed by his wife, the actual villain.
(H) Or any big surprises?
The hero learns the mother of her birth father is alive and chooses to meet her.
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Lee Skore Producer/Manager
(1) Present to producer:
I believe I have a marketable well-written script and my mentor, Chris Soth, guided my through the entire writing process. Working with Chris, a producer himself, taught my to think and see my story differently, to adapt, and to re-write various ideas more than once. I collaborate well with others, take feedback easily, humbly incorporate my own ideas when given the opportunity. I look forward to working on your project and fulfilling your expectations and goals.
(2) Present to manager:
During my years writing comparative financial analyses on Wall Street, I learned to be flexible, write what my bosses wanted, and meet deadlines. I want to be just as successful working on film projects — collaborating with others, putting others’ ideas (and mine) on paper. I’ve always been a strong team player, a good listener, and happy when I’ve fulfilled the goals of whatever project I’ve worked on. I look forward to working with you, following your suggestions and guidance, and making this project a great success.
(3) What I learned today is:
This lesson was like putting the cart before the horse. If I knew HOW to present me or a project to a producer or manager, I wouldn’t be taking this class. Asking me what I’d say before I’ve even learned WHAT TO SAY or HOW TO SAY IT makes me feel more clueless than I already do.
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Lee Skore’s Marketable Components for TELLING LIES
(4) What I learned doing this assignment is:
Choosing the components that provide the highest marketability is challenging. Trusting that I can make the right choices for my script is daunting, especially since I haven’t done this before.
(1) Current logline:
A Nantucket woman’s recurring nightmares turn out to be repressed memories of her parents’ murders, but now someone wants to kill her too, and the only way she survives is if she and the sheriff solve the mystery of her past.
(2) B – Great Title ; G – Wide Audience Appeal ; A – Unique (possibly)
(3) Brainstorm to elevate components:
Title: The title has more than one meaning. “Telling” lies are clues to the mystery of the main character’s past. “Telling lies” are statements made by all the characters — some statements are true, some are not — the audience has to decide which are which so they can figure out the film’s mystery and the murderer.
Audience Appeal: The film is a mystery, a favorite genre of mine and many others. There are two main characters, a Nantucket woman in her late-20s and a former SEAL (sheriff) in his mid-30s. They work very closely together, develop feelings for each other, which would appeal to both female and male audiences.
Unique: The film is set on Nantucket Island, a location rarely used. I understand why, but when I visited there years ago it touched my soul like no other place and I have always wanted to set a film there.
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Lee Skore Project and Market
Genre: Drama, Mystery, Thriller
Title: TELLING LIES
Concept: A Nantucket woman’s recurring nightmares are memories of her parents’ murders, and now someone is trying to kill her too, but she only survives if she and the sheriff solve the mystery of her past.
Most Attractive: (1) it’s a mystery… mysteries always seem popular (2) two leading characters… a woman, late 20s… a man, mid 30s… they must work together to find the murderer before he kills again.
Target FIRST: I believe Managers would know the producers or actors’ production companies who would most likely be interested in my script and could get it to them more quickly than I could.
What I learned today: (1) getting “in” was a challenge (2) I don’t know where the SUBSCRIBE button is (3) there’s A LOT I don’t know, but I’m looking forward to learning to do it well.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by LEE SKORE.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by
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Lee Skore
Hi everyone. I’m retired and have written three screenplays and a play over the years, but until now, haven’t felt confident enough to proceed to the marketing phase. My goals… to sell at least one of the scripts I’ve written which leads me to additional writings assignments.
I worked in the financial field for years in Chicago and New York while taking acting classes, doing theater showcases, extra work on TV. Here in Salt Lake City, I worked on the Sundance Film Festival for 9 years, enjoyed more acting classes, worked as a location assistant on “Touched By An Angel” for several years, worked as assistant director and director-in-training on 10 shows at our semi-professional community theater. I’m also president of the Homeowners’ Association of my condominium complex, and sing with a choir which has performed at the Tabernacle, at Lincoln Center, and in Carnegie Hall.
I’m really looking forward to learning a lot in this class and interacting with fellow class members.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by LEE SKORE.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by
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Lee Skore – I agree to the terms of this release form.
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by LEE SKORE.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by