[Leslie A Aguillard]

Leslie A. Aguillards THRILLER MAP

What I am learning: First, I should have posted this first and then version 1 with some of the scene headings and basic story line. Second, practice this mode of thinking as this is very different from how I used to write and this way is better. Third, the map, even if I haven’t quite got it right, helps me to see where I need to do more brainstorming to invent more unique situations.

THRILLER MAP: Title, Boy Toy; Location: London, present day.

Mystery: PM (hero) tries to find out why he is targeted while in the throes of grieving a tragic death, not realizing they are connected. And

Mystery: who really is PM? Will he survive the insane V?

Mystery: Will V (villain) keep getting away with his elaborate and sadistic stunts which he does for ratings. And

Mystery: Why does V pick on PM, a stranger?

Mystery: Who is Random Woman and why is she following PM and then also V? Finally, did she know PM “before”…. As a woman?

Intrigues: What are the scars and tattoos on PM’s chest? Is PM overly distraught over the death of a friend? Is grief the only reason PM is uncooperative? How does V have computer access to almost everything?

What makes V escalate his torment of PM?

Why do staff and Aide even work for V? Is it just money?

To whom is Random Woman reporting and why?

What causes PM to snap from victim to vengeful?

Suspense: PM survives tragic car crash but his friend dies.

PM is attacked and pursued by V for unknown reasons; paranoid about being followed, and sometimes he is correct.

PM is drugged then kidnapped, escapes only to be chased by dogs; is rescued only to be threatened with being sex trafficked.

Chases and hunts: through hospital; fight at Hotel; lethal searches and fights at the Estate and why does PM suddenly change from victim to vengeful?

Villain’s plan: whatever is sensational, controversial, illegal to manipulate others for viral hits that makes him money. Feels above the law because he has been able to buy whatever he wanted and decides to mess up PM’s life because he can. Likely has desires he’s suppressed and PM triggers those. Is vindictive to whoever does not cater to him or laud his “celebrity” which is not universal.

Red Herrings?: Random-Woman shows up so much but doesn’t seem to help. Is she orchestrating or just reporting?

Aide: Cares for V but also hates V; seems to help but then betrays PM.

Life Threatening sequences: Car crash in which friend dies; beat up as room is robbed; drug/kidnap/set upon by dogs; threat of being trafficked; vengeful cat and mouse chase as PM picks off V’s henchmen who are trying to kill him.

Plot Twists: PM’s celebration turns tragic. What was celebrated? Turns out it was a honeymoon. Friend dies.

Friend’s family seething with hate and blame PM for the accident unreasonably.

PM turns out to be an efficient killer.

PM’s finger prints match a female CIA operative (?) who went missing and was presumed dead.

PM assumes new identity with money and documents liberated from V.

[Leslie A Aguillard]

Leslie A’s Thriller Map Version 1

What I am learning is a steady build up in the creation of a story emphasizing actions rather than dialogue or exposition.

INT. ESTATE.NIGHT

An elaborate English estate, a decadent party of bizarre celebs, Someone falls backward into the pool and gets fished out.

Large monitors show real time social media posts and accumulating hits up on the walls.

V, a pale thin handsome young man, artfully dressed, full of himself, scrolls through his I phone at videos and shouts:

V: “It has to be more viral than this!”

V has his Aide on a leash. Aide, another handsome young man, has studded collar around his neck, bare-chested. Aide texts instructions into his phone like an extension of V’s whims.

Someone else is pushed into the pool. Someone has her clothes being roughly torn off. Their screams are barely noticed above the party’s roar. V seems to approve, smiles at Aide.

A beautiful young woman being filmed staggers to Aide and gives him a sloppy kiss as her entourage applauds.

Aide is surprised by this but likes it and leans in for more but she twirls away to kiss the next guy, it is V.

V rebuffs her advances as if disgusted.

V: “Don’t you know who I am?”

She acts too drunk to care and grabs at V again, yells out:

Beauty: “You? What about ME, darling!?”

V throws a drink in her face, gives the leash a jerk pulling Aide sideways as V steps away.

Beautiful woman angrily grabs V, slaps V, then strides away amidst both cheers, mocking and laughs from party goers even as V follows her out with his camera filming. V sneers at the images.

V checks the hits on the feed running live on the wall mounted monitors.

V remarks: “that’s better.”

V has an idea.

The woman is being surveilled from above as she leaves the Estate, orders her car brought up, gets in with some hangers-on and drives screeching recklessly away at high speed.

In the background: is the pool person drowning? Is the naked girl being dragged away?

The Aide takes off the Velcro collar to glare at V; V shrugs and returns to his texting.

(meanwhile)

INT. PUB. NIGHT

Party at a local up-scale pub, mostly men are toasting and enjoying a celebration.

Random-Woman in the background alone surreptitiously taking video. Also, in the background two men kiss; mixed couples dance.

A very strong looking woman, heavily made up, sweeps up and dips PM (a 30’s handsome man in a nice suit) and kisses him as everyone howls and laughs.

At the Bar’s entrance there is an argument as two men are being barred. A woman body builder type assists the regular bouncer and shoves the barred men back from the door.

Woman Body Builder: “the sign reads – Private Party, gents. Move along.”

The denied men act rude, shove back, talk smack, take photos, send texts but also back off.

The bar tender gets a signal from the bouncer.

Bartender rings a ship’s brass bell to indicate police may soon be on the way.

Several people leave quickly but not concerned, more used to it; others give farewell kisses to the two men being celebrated, PM and friend. All still laughing.

PM and Friend are informed and do not want to be there when police arrive. All is good natured, not like at the Estate. . PM and friend walk toward parked cars.

Friend, teasing: “You sure you can drive?”

PM: “of course, idiot. Give me the keys.”

Friend shows some anxiety as the barred men are still on the sidewalk and begin walking toward PM and friend.

Random-Woman leaves pub, seems to run into the barred men on purpose, sidetracks them, and then runs across the street ducking out of sight; She takes more photos of PM and friend.

The barred men go the other way as PM and friend get into their car.

INT. ESTATE. SAME NIGHT

V smiles at his feed of the woman driving drunk. Aide notices this, laughs less enthusiastically as V walks to another room.

IN. ESTATE COMPUTER ROOM. SAME NIGHT

V enters a private room which is filled with computer equipment and works on something.

V texts instructions into the phone and takes control of the woman’s car terrifying the car’s passengers as they are slung about side to side. V returns to the now empty party room.

EXT. CITY STREET. NIGHT

The woman’s car screeches around corners, side swipes other cars, makes pedestrians leap out of the way. More than one ped takes pics with their phones and report the car to the police.

Sirens heard, possibly responding to the woman’s reckless driving reports.

EXT. SIDE STREET. SAME NIGHT

The pub couple (PM and friend), in their car driving away prudently as

Police car pulls up to pub and officers go in past other couples leaving. The police detain one obvious drag queen. The regular bouncer, straight-looking man, negotiates with police.

Back and Forth scenes: PM and friend driving normally from the pub vs the woman and her screaming friends careening; are they on a collision course unbeknownst to them? Yes.

EXT. STREET. SAME NIGHT

Inciting Incident: A terrible/fatal car crash engineered by V taking control of car’s computer.

Several cars are hit, including PM and friend. Woman’s car flips into the air and crashes on it’s top. PM and friend spin away with the passenger’s side destroyed.

PM behind the wheel, is dazed, then horrified seeing his friend. PM tries to free his friend.

INT. ESTATE. SAME NIGHT

VM laughs hysterically. “Whoa… Bullseye! Posting, posting! Look at the hits.”

V takes an oddly intense interest as PM tries to pull his friend from their wrecked car.

Then the woman’s <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>car bursts into flame.

V hoots, “bitches on the barbie.”

V tells Aide “spin this. I want millions of followers.” The aide, aghast, yet begins posting.

V steers the drone closer to see the pub men, the friend looks seriously hurt.

Aide tells V “Probably should probably call an ambulance”.

V agrees unconvincingly: “Of course! I wonder how fast they’ll figure out the

right place if I send them a few blocks away? Let’s see.”

EXT. STREET. CRASH SITE. SAME NIGHT.

PM has pulled friend from their car, cradles his friend, shielding him from the other burning car, trying to get his phone to connect to emergency.

PM; “What is the 911 in London? Is it 999? “

PM fumbles, misdials, wipes blood from his eyes. In shock? Is angry. Doesn’t hear the sirens holding his friend.

INT. ESTATE. SAME NIGHT. Computer room.

V is able to intercept the signal from PM’s phone to reassure the PM but misdirects emergency. V fascinated by the PM. V stares at the monitor. Aide walks in.

Aide, flatly: “You got over a million hits from the crash.”

EXT. STREET CRASH SITE. SAME.

Playing on V’s monitor feed

One of the camera crew notes the camera drone…points it out… drone gets knocked down/ shot down/ somehow destroyed pissing off V.

Aide tries to bring perspective, after all that V has done but V slaps the Aide hard.

V and Aide pass glares back and forth but Aide backs down.

V has noted to which hospital they are taken.

INT. AMBULANCE. SAME

Medics frantically work to stabilize PM’s friend. PM using all his control to stay out of the way and refusing attention himself.

INT. HOSPITAL. SAME NIGHT

Amidst hospital chaos, PM continues refusing treatment while giving police report. PM doesn’t want to be undressed. Says his injuries are minor. Tries repeatedly to discover the fate of his friend, understandably upset.

PM refuses to leave and demands to know about his friend’s condition

Turning Point: PM is delivered the terrible news – Friend is dead.

Doctor: if only they’d gotten there sooner.

PM in stunned grief, angry the emergency services were driving around in circles.

PM: “WTF! Incompetent assholes!” Takes a wild swing at some doctor.

Police grab PM, order him to get a hold of himself. PM slumps in a chair, head in hands.

INT. ESTATE. COMPUTER ROOM. SAME NIGHT

V is hacked into hospital cameras. Feigns sadness: “Aww… what a bonus. How many hits?”

Aide is grudgingly tallying viral footage retweets or whatever to V.

Aide pops a pill, swallows it with water or whatever, leans back in chair and closes his eyes.

INT. HOSPITAL. SAME NIGHT

Police to PM: “There is nothing you can do right now except get a hold of yourself.”

Someone shows up to give PM a ride back to his hotel, but PM shoves him away and runs off.

Police exasperated, begin searching for PM. They get it but it has been a long night.

Foot chase through hospital.

PM gets away. Police now put an APB out for PM, he’s acting irrationally.

Meanwhile

INT. ESTATE COMPUTER ROOM. SAME NIGHT

V‘s street cameras/security cameras he’s hacked into lose sight of PM and V gets really angry.

V: “Dammit! Lost the bugger. Wait. He mentioned his hotel.”

INT. HOTEL. DAY.

Random-Woman is in hotel lobby reading a paper, drinking coffee. Notes henchman entering.

At hotel V’s henchman tries to avoid cameras, turning away from others so as not to be identified, takes stairs. Random woman gets up and goes to the elevator as PM enters hotel.

INT. HOTEL HALLWAY. DAY.

Henchman breaks into PM’s room. Tearing the room apart. FINDS a watch and some money and takes that.

PM exits elevator on his floor, sees his room door ajar, runs to it.

Random-Woman slips out of elevator and out of view but sees PM enter his room.

Henchman ready to slink away but is discovered by PM and they fight .

FIGHT SCENE

Henchman has advantage and gets away.

Random-Woman lurks near by, hears PM on the phone, she takes the stairs to the next floor.

Security and Police arrive at PM’s room; PM sitting on bed, heart broken/exhausted.

Police: “you’re the guy from the hospital.

The hotel manager arrives, feigns innocence… nothing like this has ever happened. Hotel offers another room to PM or PM exasperated “All this is insane”. Police calls victim advocate despite PM’s unreceptivity.

PM calls the attorney back who expresses sympathy then suggests PM go to Amer Embassy.

Randon Woman claiming to be victim advocate arrives as police leave…PM is skeptical.

Random-Woman: “Fine. The Embassy is close by. You can walk or take a cab.”

She draws a map to the Embassy and says … he might want to clean up first.

*We see only a strong back as PM peels off his shirt, and a glimpse of scars across the chest /lots of tattoos.

Random Woman is searching around the room trying not to be seen doing it.

She is startled when PM is standing right behind her.

PM: “you still here?”

Random Woman “clearly.” Maybe she has something in her hand, puts into pocket.

EXT. HOTEL STREET. DAY

PM ignores the cab outside, but then feels someone near, looks around, The REAL police advocate yells to him, tries to engage him. PM is conflicted by this and hurries off leaving the advocate standing on the street befuddled.

Henchman follows PM to Amer. Embassy.

Henchman reports and V says to wait, the new videos are being set up.

Random Woman in a phone box on the street, apparently sees both Henchman and PM.

INT. EMBASSY OFFICE. DAY.

PM at American Embassy to see what to do…

PM tries to contact police about the apparently missing and now confusing report… complains about fake advocate…wires really crossed…

PM exasperated and angry, creates a yelling scene, is told to calm down or he will be charged.

Embassy will figure out the snafu. “you are exhausted, had terrible shocks, it is understandable, but you need to rest and help. Do you have an attorney?” Yes.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>PM phones dead friend’s mother to break the news… Mother is hysterical, very angry and blames PM and PM feels even worse, “this was more than a mistake.”

Mother “I’m sorry just won’t cut it.” Mother reacts as badly as can be.

The Father gets on the phone and suggests that PM better not return at all.

PM: “That did not go well.” Collapses on a bench, head back, tear down his cheek.

The voices on the phone were loud enough for an assistant in the Embassy to hear. Embassy Assistant tries to assure PM they will help arrange for the friend’s body to be sent home after the police are done investigating, will reschedule PM’s flight home as well, etc. etc. We will speak with your attorney.

EXT. STREET NEAR HOTEL. DAY.

PM Walking determined back to hotel. The Henchman follows. Then the Random-Woman also follows.

INT. ESTATE COMPUTER ROOM. DAY.

V somehow hacked into the phone call PM made to dead friend’s mother which replays on a monitor, and V enjoys PM’s pain.

V: “oh this just brings out the ‘stalker’ in me!! I do want a closer look at him”

EXT. SUBURBAN ROAD. DAY

V and Aide drive into the town center from the estate to intercept PM.

INT. HOTEL. DAY.

PM returns to his trashed hotel room.

PM tries to lay in new bed, cannot stand it.

PM goes outside the Hotel to look around, takes deep breaths and walks down the street.

A car follows him. PM is suspicious then turns abruptly into a pub.

INT. PUB. DAY.

PM walks in, glances around, but doesn’t want to stay, Turns to leave and

There V “accidently” bumps into PM –“Oh, you are American? How is London treating you? Oh no, terrible??? Tries to steer PM back into the pub.

PM: “No. Thanks anyway.”

PM’s trust level is low and he’s exhausted, trying not to make a scene or engage with V.

V says “I can see you have been through something dire…

I am so sorry you’ve had a tragic experience.”

Aide slips some tracker on to PM acting like a pat on the back, PM jerks around.

PM “What is wrong with you? Get off me. How would you know if I’ve been through anything… tragic?”

Undaunted, V “Mate! At least let me buy you a drink. Seems like you need one and a friend.”

PM: “Ah fuck! Can this day get any worse?”

V: “ A drink. Don’t you know who I am?”

PM: “No, don’t care and – what do you say? Bugger off – mate.“

The bar man yells to them all to take it outside.

PM pushes passed V and down the street back to the hotel.

V is livid, shaking mad. Aide’s mouth is open, stunned, both impressed and also worried for PM.

V leaves the henchman to keep watch. V and Aide drive away.

INT. HOTEL ROOM.NIGHT

Random-Woman opens then closes her door when service cart goes by.

Knock on PM’s door: Room service – arrives with supper.

PM opens door, says he’ll take it from here, gives the server some cash and shuts the door.

In the Hall the henchman removes the jacket and hands jacket and cash to real server standing near by.

Henchman waits in the hall until hears a crash of plates.

Drink or Food is drugged. Henchman enters PM’s room.

PM realizes something is amiss, staggers to standing and takes a swing at Henchman, but misses and falls to the floor. As PM passes out, Henchman and Aide are at his side and taking him out of the room.

Random-Woman is walking down the hall, makes it clear she sees them.

Aide fakes talking to someone in the room: We’ll get this cleaned up sorry he just needs to go home. Random Woman approaches them.

Rand.Wom: “Oh sorry, can I help you here? Such a scene when a mate gets trollied.”

Aide says yeah, you can help, come here, he reaches into his chest pocket, the woman begins to reach behind her back (a tense moment)

Aide takes out an envelope, the woman smiles and brings her hand away from her back.

Aide gives the woman money to take the envelope to the Hotel desk, fast talks a story about paying for the mess PM made being drunk.

The Random Woman pretends to buy the story.

Henchman takes PM down the service elevator and Aide and Random Woman go down guest elevator to lobby.

Tense silent awkward ride in elevator.

Random-Woman agrees and takes the envelope to the desk Aide watches her she waves back. Car pulls up and Aide gets in as Random-woman waves.

EXT. HOTEL ALLEY. NIGHT.

The car pulls around the corner and stops out of view. Henchman gets out. V gives instructions to Henchman then drives the knocked out PM away.

INT. HOTEL LOBBY. SAME :

Random Woman sits in large chair, a waiter comes over, she orders a drink, opens the envelope and takes the money, reads the note and thinks a moment. Her drink arrives, she pays and downs the shot.

Henchman enters the back of the Hotel again, takes service elevator to PM’s floor, looks around corner toward PM’s room. Surprisingly he sees the Random Woman looking into PM’s doorway.

Random-Woman backs up, closes the door, looks toward Henchman who is out of sight, pauses then walks away.

Henchman goes to the room, hears elevator and then someone at the door. He hides behind the door.

Random-Woman opens the door slightly, takes something off the table near the door then leaves.

Henchman exhales then begins packing PM’s things.

In the meantime

INT. HOTEL LOBBY. DAY

Random Woman tells Hotel clerk a guy she can’t describe told her to deliver this envelope. In the envelope is note saying PM has returned home to the USA, and that the bill is “paid”. The clerk turns away to call for Hotel security and desk manager who finds this odd since the bill is not paid but the Random Woman is gone.

Security goes up to the crime room and enters… is knocked out by the henchman who leaves with two packed bags down the stairs.

EXT. HOTEL. DAY.

Outside the Hotel, Random-Woman walks down the side street about to make a call then looks up in time to notice the henchman leaving back of Hotel with the packed bags. She ducks out of sight then peeks again and notes the license plate. Makes a call as she returns to the Hotel.

INT. ESTATE. DAY

While PM is out cold, V has aide stage some photos of the unconscious PM and directs aide to put ‘ai’ faked photos on social media of PM, distort the car crash into a sordid tale… re tweets galore.

Aide unamused, questions V: “ c’mon, why are you doing this still?

V: “because I can. What’s wrong with you? Jealous?”

Aide shakes his head and says he needs to get some sleep, says PM should be out for hours yet. Aide walks out to a cottage like out building from the main house. V then follows.

PM’s eyes open as soon as they leave.

INT. HOTEL LOBBY DESK. SAME DAY.

Desk phone rings… Amer. Attorney trying to reach PM… neither the trashed room nor the new room answer, also Desk cannot raise their house security man.

The ringing phone woke the Random-Woman napping inside her room’s door. She turns her jacket inside out and puts on a wig and glasses; slips out of the room.

A bus boy and a desk manager look and find the security guard concussed in the crime room.

The Random-Woman calmly walks down the hall passed the commotion in the crime room.

INT. ESTATE. DAY

PM sits up, now alone, sick, angry. Realizes he has no passport or wallet on him and has a moment of clarifying panic.

PM stealthily looks around the estate house.

PM confronts some staff who do not speak English. They shrug, act like PM is just another crazy party goer.

PM indicates they should be quiet away. Staff shakes heads, mutter curses and go about their chores. PM finds this disconcerting but goes on about his searching, enters the private room full of computers.

PM grabs a laptop and a phone, closes the door for privacy, sees the crazy social media posts and is more confused than angry.

PM: “who the fuck posted this shit? What is going on?”

PM calls the hotel and can’t explain because the hotel demands to know his whereabouts but PM doesn’t know.

While holding the phone, PM rifles through desk drawer to see if there is any indication of an address – A WRONG ADDRESS? SCOTLAND MAYBE? PM tells this to hotel people who do not believe it and ask him to hang on the line..

PM demands to know “What day is it? Has anyone tried to call for me there?”

Hotel: “What day? (scoff) Of Course there have been calls”

Hotel manager trying to keep PM on the line, gestures wildly to clerk to notify police.

Hotel says “Hang on – Something happened to our computers. “

PM says “Something happened to ME as well” is outraged and then… becomes very still.

The phone is not useful… he doesn’t have the names of the friends who were mostly his dead buddies’ contacts. PM hangs up as hotel manager yells for him to hang on.

PM searches and finds another staff…asks where he is? “No se. You want coffee?”

PM: “Yes! take me to the kitchen”. (gestures eating) He’ll make his own coffee.

PM talking to himself… Why is this happening? Who is doing this? Where am I??? Where is passport, wallet, his own phone. What’s that attorney’s name and number…aarrgghh then In the meantime V and Aide are coming back from the cottage-out building.

PM recognizes V approaching, Grabs staff, points out the window at V.

Staff: “Si Si boss man, Senor V.”

PM slips outside rather than confront V and decides he’ll run to a road…any road. Staff guy just shrugs.

Inside the Main House V checks surveillance from hidden cameras, sees PM not in bedroom but rather running across the lawn.

V: “Uh oh – no running away. Release the hounds”.

EXT. ESTATE LAWN. DAY

PM is running; he gets chased down by dogs on the villas huge property and takes refuge up a tree… he is surprisingly strong and nimble.

PM (panting, hanging on to limb) “Help!”

V and Aide rescue PM in a golf cart.

Aide calls off the dogs and sends them home, apologizes to PM as he climbs down from tree.

PM is angry about all these circumstances, Where are his papers? Who are you people?

V: lies: “Papers? You had nothing on you”.

Aide: “You went through a huge trauma and passed out. We tried to “help”

PM doesn’t believe any of it.

V: “What? do you think I kidnap and traffic – pretty foreign men for fun??”

PM begins to protest again but A CHANGE COMES OVER HIM.

PM: “What is this? Am I going to be trafficked? this some sort of game to you? (seems to swoon) Oh… oh….”

PM decides to play along or pretend he really is still loopy. Gets into the golf cart vehicle, goes back to the house. The aide supports PM. PM pretends to be near fainting.

Aide says to V: “This has gone far enough”

V sneers at Aide to just do as he is told.

When they get back to the house the aide helps PM out of vehicle,

PM stands unsteadily then turns, pretends to collapse into V’s arms and as PM slides down V’s body, he seems to get a good feel of V’s, Checking for a gun? No gun? Apparently V really liked that physical contact.

PM notices, has a very serious face then pretends to go limp.

V likes PM acquiescing “Well, well. Traffic. Not a bad idea, really…

maybe we should go to the yacht”

Aide “No, this is not a good idea. This has gone too far. The crash, now this?”

V: “What has gotten into you?”

Shoves Aide away. Yells for a Henchman to: “Take our guest to the room.”

PM’s eyes pop open…the crash? also does not want to be stuck on a boat. Allows himself to be half dragged off by the Henchman up some stairs.

Turning Point/ plot twist? PM undergoes a change into a killing machine??

As V’s hench man half carries PM away PM surprises, overpowers, and shoves the henchman out the window head first, the body lays still on the ground, then with surprising speed, runs off through house and grabs Henchman’s phone on the way.

Hearing the crash, seeing his man on the ground, V sounds the alarm

V: “Shit! find PM!

Aide checks on the Henchman outside the window who appears to be bleeding profusely.

Aide is making phone call (police? Ambulance?)

A fast game of Cat and mouse through the estate house as three Henchmen search for PM.

PM sees where cameras are, ducks around, narrowly missing being caught, so far avoiding them.

PM finds a pair of gloves, takes also a belt and tie….a knife/letter opener?

V’s henchmen split up to search for PM. They have communication ear buds maybe.

PM subdues a henchman with a hard punch to the head, takes the ear bud and weapon, He wraps the tie tightly around the henchman’s neck then punches him hard again. PM drags the body in or behind some furniture and runs on.

PM hides from another Hench man, then uses the belt like a whip to the Hench’s head. A quick move with the belt and knocks him down wrapping the belt around his neck, stands on one end and jerks up the other – CRACK – neck is broken. “Three down.”

PM doesn’t hear anyone coming so goes back down the stairs always looking around, to computer room.

PM sees the house security cameras; finds V and Aide are but he doesn’t look everywhere. PM goes out a side door and grabs the aide who is usually always with VM and pulls him aside,

The Aide desperately acts like he wants to help PM “Come on this way, come on! You have to get out of here!”

But as they move away Aide spies another Guard and V and yells out, betraying PM.

PM grabs aide by the throat and holds him up as a shield.

V and an armed guard confront PM with the hostage aide as if to negotiate.

PM asks: How much does V value this aide?

V: “Not that much really.” The aide is appalled even as he is choking, but the Henchman is reluctant to fire his gun.

V says “You don’t think you can get away from here do you?”

PM says: “that depends. Maybe I don’t want to”.

VM nervously feigns boredom, tired that things aren’t going his way and pulls out his phone.

V: “I’m calling the police.”

PM: “now why don’t I believe you?”

The armed guard near V can’t get a clear shot but has his gun on PM and Aide.

The slowly being strangled aide has a ray of hope of being saved, maybe the police will come..

PM also has a gun at his back, pulls it out shoots the edge of the phone out of V’s hands and kills the guard standing behind him. Clearly PM is a better shot than V’s men.

PM asks V “ how fast do you want to die?” The aide is more terrified, choking and gasping.

V feigns indifference or willing to negotiate “Well you are full of surprises…What do you want?”

Surprisingly PM says “I want ….a job with you. Clearly you need better men around you”

PM is slowly tightening his grip on the aide’s throat. The aide tries to be warning V not to trust PM but Aide passes out and PM lets him fall to the floor. Is he dead?

V is shaken more than he thought. Backing up, stumbles a little on the dead guard’s body but steps over him as PM very slowly advances towards him.

V sees another guard creeping up behind PM so V tries to keep PM focused away from the approaching guard. Stammering as guard creeps closer and as PM draws closer to V.

V asked why would PM want to work for him? It doesn’t make sense. They don’t even know one another.

PM: “ why then am I here at this house- Who are you? What’s with the drugging, dogs, social media shit? And that car crash…wtf is up with that?”

V fumbles to make some story up, stalling.

The last guard creeps silently closer to PM even as PM moves slowly toward V.

Maybe PM catches a glimpse of the guard in some reflection, moves out of reach… toying back.

V very nervous tries to steer PM back but this time PM turns and shoots the sneaking guard between the eyes.

V shrieks…” WTF – are you CIA or something?”

PM says “Or something.”

V and PM notices that the estate’s staff are fleeing across the lawn.

V faintly threatens PM “You are not going to get away.”

PM laughs “Neither are you. You think you are above the law?”

V: “The police are on their way!”

PM doesn’t care. “Let the police come.”

PM confronts V about the social media sensationalism, a tad homophobic???

V: “It is a game of followers and influencers. Just a game. Got out of hand.”

V admits to orchestrating the car wreck.

PM is disgusted and angry and has his answer and his justification for revenge.

V lies, says “ it wasn’t me… it was his aide…the aide is the techy… V just collects followers and hits for money from advertisers and influencers, he doesn’t really care as long as the money comes in”.

PM grabs V. twisting his arm then PM puts the gun in VM’s hand but his hand is on it too.

PM makes V shoot the aide (not in the chest or head), and fires randomly around the room until the gun is empty.

V twists free and tried to hit PM with something (vase? Lamp?)

PM calmly dodges.

PM grabs and hits V and knocks him down then breaks a chair (or something) over him.

PM feels V for a pulse but just to be sure, breaks his neck with a swift twist.

PM calls the police and leaves the phone line open on the ground, wiping the phone clean. The police are already on their way as some staff alerted them to trouble at the estate.

Sirens are heard in the distance.

INT. ESTATE. DAY

Police all over the estate looking for clues, processing the scene of several murders.

Staff has been rounded up. What is their story? They get hired when the V throws a party. The parties are always crazy, violent, a mess to clean up.

Is it even V’s house? No. it is on the market and been standing empty. V was a real estate mogul who used vacant properties for his parties.

A man (PM) was brought to the house passed out they think…They thought it was another eccentric prank. Staff does not know where PM is but they identify him when police show a photo of PM. Police arrest some staff on visa violations.

They relate how PM was trying to leave but V set dogs on him. As far as they could tell, V was doing some sort of sadistic game with the American. Their excuse to work for V? V always had wild parties and he paid very well to keep quiet.

Who killed the guards? As far as staff knows they killed each other or V went insane.

Aide has survived and is writing info to the police that exonerate PM?? Random woman shows up like a news reporter and catches Aides eye, signals him to not give her up, but he can’t speak anyway. She listens, takes videos, then leaves. Who is she?

Who is this PM guy?? And WHERE is he?

Stories are stitched together:

PM is just a tourist on his honeymoon with his partner when a car struck them and killed his new husband. A man caught in terrible circumstances and disappears.

Aide is writing this information down, like a confession, from V’s predatory social media angle.

Police find PM’s belongings packed bags in a garage.

Police have sent PM’s fingerprints all over for identification.

The US Embassy and the US attorney exchange information.

The CIA/Interpol discuss an issue – It seems that a black ops agent thought to have been killed years ago has resurfaced? But that agent was a woman – Not a man.

OR…. Finger prints match a serial killer who dropped out of sight years ago…a woman. If serial killer, she must have found what she needed but then the car wreck took that away???

Closing shot on PM changing clothes. His chest tattoos are from an “upper surgery”???

The woman CIA agent/ or serial killer transitioned into a man!! PM has V’s passport and a lot of money and gets on to a private jet disguised … flying to and or landing in an Asian city.

The End (could be a pilot to a series… maybe a little like Dexter?)

[Leslie A Aguillard]

LESLIE A. AGUILLARD MISDIRECTS WHEN APPROPRIATE

What I learned: Am still attempting to distinguish the names of these techniques from one another: clue / misdirection / mystery / suspense are sometimes overlapping, but I’m trying to have an action or question and then make sure to answer that question. Am trying to limit characters and have made more use of the Random Woman than I originally thought which adds to the mystery. As these layers or techniques become part of my thinking, I am trying to put the suspense/jeopardy into every moment with only a few moments of relief so far.

A. Clue misdirections: whether the pub at beginning is a gay bar or not; are the hero and friend more than friends? Hero seems acting out understandably to his friend’s death until drugging and the kidnap; behavior changes when trapped by the villain (chased by dogs then saved fromthem) and Hero becomes efficient killer to save himself. Big mystery reveal at the end: is the hero really a former agent who faked “her” death and changed sex?

At the Villain’s estate: his violent parties and circumstances are unjudged by the staff and henchmen who are all just paid to do their jobs and they do them with disturbing indifference, as if they also are above the law.

B. Character misdirections: The Random Woman at first may not be noticed but keeps showing up. In the background at the Pub in the beginning, running into men barred from the pub, seems to be following the Hero; not sure if she’s friend or foe when she says she’ll help the villain’s men but then doesn’t. May still be unclear if she’s CIA or just a PI at the end.

With the hero, he is at first just a guy caught by tragic accident and then becomes victimized for no discernable (to him) reason, and then fights back effectively revealing he is much more than he appeared.

Villain Misdirections: Villain thinks he is above the law and can kill people and get away with it; thinks he’s more famous than he is as hero never heard of him; Villain’s aide is conflicted often with Villain’s plans as it seems being made up as it goes along. Villain does not try to save his Aide much to Aide’s dismay.

C. Dialogue Misdirections: Have not done much yet with dialogue. To avoid exposition however, it seems asking a question and answering with another question is a good strategy. To argue or confront is more interesting than a polite exchange.

[Leslie A Aguillard]

Leslie A. A. gives Great Clues!

What I learned: Although I am still figuring it all out, these lessons focus my thinking. Seems I’d be all over the place otherwise. Thanks! Each lesson helps me add in vital details, and it is much more action than dialogue. I’m beginning to wonder if I could do it all with action.

1.Three or Four main mysteries:

Who is PM (hero)?

If the car wreck killing PM’s friend was really just collateral damage, why is PM being followed/ targeted?

Who is the Random Woman? Is she hired by someone to keep tabs on PM?

Why is V (villain) such a jerk / can he get away with murders? /is he really a human trafficker?

2, 3 & 4 Clues for each mystery in sequence:

People in the pub- subtle drag; What is the party for? PM and friend wanting to avoid a raid in pub; Terrible hateful reaction to PM re: friend’s death; PM’s tattooed chest; PM’s personality ‘snaps’ from being a victim to being an efficient survivor.

Random woman in the background at pub, on the street, outside the Embassy, in the hotel, in a phone booth, takes money from envelope but leaves the note, shows up at the estate dressed like staff. Who is she and to whom is she reporting?

V has high tech surveillance equipment and capabilities; has only men around him; unkind to Aide; has unhealthy control issues, obsessed with viral social media hits, mentions kidnapping pretty men, betrays Aide.

PM goes through a change and moves from victim to very proactive.

5. Latest version of Thriller Map:

– decadent party, obnoxious and violent; domination, using people spitefully for the sake of viral social media shares and hits – addictive and tasteless behaviors; acts as if above the law. The introduction of V and Aide and Henchmen.

– surprise that beautiful woman will be ‘sacrificed’ and reactions to that realization. A dramatic out of control speeding reckless car that kills nearly all involved.

– contrasting party in pub, clues re: clientele, social status and social intolerance but less violent; anxiety about a couple driving away, intervention by Random Woman; the hero, PM, and friend heading for crash unawares.

– violent car crash; V engineering it but not enough hits on social media, V wants to target PM and friend; delayed emergency response; V’s viral hits vs PM and friend’s tragedy.

– Car explodes, worsens tragedy and responses.

– Hospital: PM learns of friend’s death, acts out, runs away, police chase but PM gets away.

– Hotel: V’s henchman trashes PM’s room, PM catches him and they fight but henchman gets away. Random woman shows up again observing/ reporting?

– American Embassy – PM seeks help to get friend’s body home etc with the car crash and hospital. PM still very emotional and too angry to cooperate. Embassy tries to understand, assures they will take care of details as PM puts them in touch with his attorney. PM leaves. Again Random Woman is around.

– PM again “running away” but is intercepted by V and aide outside Hotel. V gets PM to have some food and drink. PM is drugged and kidnapped. Aide pays Random Woman who is good at being in the way, to take a note and payment to the Hotel supposedly to pay for room, but Rand.Woman takes the money. Hotel alerted to worsening scam?

– PM wakes at estate. Confronts staff. Tries to run away, is chased by dogs; PM “saved” by V and Aide; hints at human trafficking; PM has a change come over him. PM gets drop on guard and throws him through a window. PM discovers viral footage as he plays cat and mouse in the Estate house.

– V and Aide and henchmen searching for PM – tables turn as PM picks off guards and captures Aide; PM has proof V engineered car crash; Makes V pull the trigger on Aide and others before PM kills V.

– Aftermath; finger prints of PM confusing. They seem to match a CIA operative who died but that operative was a woman.

– PM and friend were actually on honeymoon. Friend’s family so angry because they never liked the gay lifestyle. Random woman was hired by friend’s family to keep tabs on PM and friend, She also knows the PM’s attorney… She may have also known the “former CIA operative” persona.

– PM on private plane with V’s money and credentials landing in Asia… perhaps for more physical changes in identity.

[Leslie A Aguillard]

Leslie’s dramatic reveals

What I am learning with these lessons is adding further meat to the story, learning that clarity is needed with these techniques, and to set them up is efficient ways to move the story quickly. As the lessons unfold, the story I’m trying to form gets better. I may have to go back at the end, as in Sixth Sense, to show some of the clues? All of the clues?

important reveals:

#1 PM – who PM is won’t be revealed until the end (haven’t decided if he’s an operative who faked his own death in order to get out of the business and became trans in order to do it)

Clues: pretty man, happy and normal thrown into a terrible set of victim scenarios. Chest scars and tatoos. Emotionally acting out more than expected, easily frustrated or understandably so? Personality changes as his troubles mount from victim to turning the tables. Then becomes a surprisingly ruthless and surgical killing machine.

#2 Who was PM’s friend killed in car crash. Also reveals at the end to be PM’s spouse and they were on their honeymoon.

Clues: Pretty man celebrating with his friend seems innocuous

Mystery? What is celebration? Turns out later to be a honeymoon party

What significance is the pub at all? Why do they need to leave?

Reveal: the pub is really a gay bar with many of the women there are in drag and need to go so as not to be charged by police;

Mystery: Why is family more angry than sad when informed of friend’s death?

Reveal: family disapproves of the gay life;

Mystery: does family even know who PM really is? (may not be revealed to them)

Intrigue/Mystery: Who is Random woman who is barely noticed but in so many scenes?

Reveals: she is hired by family to follow PM and their son (the friend who is killed in crash); reports to family then betrays both family and hero and maybe is a former colleague who finally recognizes PM.

#3 Villain’s reason for messing with people including killing them –

Mystery: why does V go out of his way to hurt others?

Reveal: sociopathic rich person addicted to power and inflicting pain fed by viral hits and money it makes for him on social media,

Reveal: secretly drawn to and hates his own homosexuality and PM excites him. an unplanned for ‘benefit’.

Clues: aide and henchmen are all pretty men; fatal flaws thinking money is all that is needed to control others; money is the only reason anyone is with him at all.

#4 Who is this Random woman showng up?

Reveal: actually worked for the dead friend’s family and or lawyer associate to spy on PM and friend.

Mystery: Why does villain’s aide thinks she be bought and will deliver note and money to hotel? (everyone can be, he thinks BUT since he’s also conflicted and wants to sabotage, may hope she won’t do as he pays her to do)

Reveal: She takes note and money from aide, agrees to deliver to hotel desk, she sees aide watching her go to the desk, but when aide leaves, she takes the money and leaves the now confusing / suspicious note.

Clues about Random woman: in the background at gay bar; walks through hospital; is on the street by Embassy and Hotel lobby, is seen in a phone booth/ or turning away to talk on her phone; When hero calls attorney, attorney takes another call (from random woman);

Makes herself noticed by V’s aide to get the note and hotel payment. Phones friend’s family to report. (may turn out to have been a colleague to PM in former life and finally recognizes)

#5 Why is the Aide even wth the villain?

Aide secretly hates villain but also addicted to him( money; rich lifestyle and social status), then seeks revenge for the car crash also and sabotages villains plan even unto his own demise. (Money can’t buy everything?)

Clues: hates it when V throws drink in woman’s face then controls and crashes her car.

Aide liked the woman more than let on, maybe more than he even knew,

Mystery: Why does Aide try to dissuade V from further messing with hero? Wants to change but maybe can’t, so tries to sabotage V’s attempts with hero; then when chips are down is devasted that V won’t lift a finger to save him from the hero.

Suspense: Is the aide dead?

Reveal: seems not… since aide provide corroburation to the police that hero was only trying to defend himself against the insane sadism of the villain.

Mystery: Why does aide “help” the hero even after hero nearly killed him?

Reveal: Random woman is somehow known to aide as well? More to figure out.

[Leslie A Aguillard]

Leslie’s Trust Betrayal

What I learned in this assignment is the need for this level in the story. I need more brainstorming cetainly but I have also noticed more of these techniques in the films I watch. I have been trying to put the names of the emotion “trust” and “betrayal” to the actions.

1. Characters:

V = villain (Not trustable)

Aide = slavish attendant to villain (Not trustable)

Aide might appear as a red herring (still not trustable)

Henchmen are mercenary thugs working for V (also not trustable)

PM = hero (trustable and has a big secret)

Police, embassy personnel, hotel personnel, (trustable but PM is at odds with them)

the dead friend’s family, should be trustable to the hero but blame the hero for what happens so are not trustable.

Embassy and Police (trustable)

2. How character seems trustable but then isn’t

V and aide offer help to PM (hero) to have a drink, trust, then drug him.

A random woman paid to give a note and payment to hotel to throw off authorities (trust) but then takes the money leaving only the note (not trustworthy).

PM wakes to find a lap top and phone (trust) but both are rigged with bad info.

Staff at V’s home seem to help but don’t (are more indifferent than trustworthy and not speaking English appear less trustworthy. They just don’t care)

V and Aide save PM from dogs even though they were the ones who lossed the dogs and so appear trusting only to betray PM again.

Aide tries to get PM to trust him in order to get away from V but then betrays their whereabouts to henchmen.

PM – switches identies and leaves us wondering if he is trustworthy or not.

[Leslie A Aguillard]

Leslie’s Twists and Turns

INT. Estate.Night. rowdy party of high class drunks

Expect: beautiful young woman being filmed staggers to Aide and gives him a sloppy kiss. Aide is surprised but liked it, but as she twirls away to kiss the next guy

Twist: VM rebuffs her advances, throws a drink in her face, she then slaps him and strides away amidst mocking, laughter and jeering from party goers..

VM (villain) laughs. Looks at his phone. As if texting. The Aide seems disappointed but goes to the VM’s side.

expect: watch her leave with friends.

twist: watching from a surveillance drone.

she drives recklessly away at high speed.

INT. PUB.NIGHT.

people laughing and celebrating

expect: rowdiness draws undesired attention

twist: bartender rings a big bell to warn patrons of coming police

PM (hero) and friend accept hugs and kisses as they, too, leave and drive away prudently.

Int. Estate. Night.

The drunken party is breaking up. VM and aide getting them to leave and staff begins cleaning.

expect: the woman driving drunk.

twist: drone feed, Aide watches also, laughs less enthusiastically as somehow VM takes over control of the woman’s car and speeds it up dangerously terrifying the passengers as they are slung about side to side.

Ext. Street. Night

The car screeches around corners, side swipes other cars, makes pedestrians leap out of the way. More than one ped takse pics with their phones and report the car to the police.

Sirens heard are really responding to the woman’s reckless driving.

Expect: police to pull woman over

twist: her car caused PM and friend to also crash.

Ext. Street. Night. Inciting Incident: A terrible/fatal car crash engineered.

expect: emergency vehicles to arrive

twist: VM misdirects the ambulance threatening the lives of crash victims further

twist: Then the woman’s car bursts into flame.

Amidst the chaos, PM is treated while giving report. PM doesn’t want to be undressed. Says his injuries are minor. Tries to discover the fate of his friend, understandably upset.

Report: The other car was speeding out of control…It crashed into PM’s car on passenger side then careened into a wall or parked vehicle…moments later, bursts into flames. PM is somehow free to go with minor injuries

but then

Turning Point: is delivered the terrible news about his friend now dead.

PM in stunned grief, angry WTF! Takes a swing at some doctor. Police order him to get a hold of himself.

expect: victim advocate comes to help PM

twist: advocate is fake or PM is paranoid about believing help is available

expet; police to get PM back to his hotel

twist: PM doesn’t want to leave his friend. but then shoves police away and runs off

Police exasperated, begin searching for PM. Foot chase through hospital.

PM gets away. Police now put an APB out for PM, he’s acting irrationally.

VM‘s drone loses sight of PM and VM gets really angry, orders his own henchmen to search.

expect: henchmen waiting at hotel

twist: henchmen break into PM’s room and trash it, FINDS a watch and some money and takes that.

slinks away nearly being discovered a couple of times, leaves by the stairs as the elevator opens and PM gets out. Or is discovered by PM and they fight and then henchman gets away. OR PM enters his room and finds it ransacked. Calls hotel desk and Police again.

expect; PM gets hold of himself. wants to go to Amer. Embassy

twist: Woman victim advocate arrives…PM is skeptical. She draws a map to the Embassy and says he can walk or take a cab… he might want to clean up first.

*We see only a nicely muscled back as PM peels off his shirt, a glimpse of scars across the chest and some tattoos.

expect PM to take cab to Embassy

twist: ignores the cab, but then feels like he’s being followed, looks around, imagined or real seems other duck out of sight when PM looks their way.

Some ducks are innocent people meeting a friend, one is the henchman following.

expect: American Embassy arrangements… the body of his friend, getting home early, being victim of crime…Amer Embassy tries to corroborate PM’s sad story…

twist: somehow none of the story matches what Amer Embassy can verify

There is a scene and PM is told to calm down or he will be charged. They will figure out the snafu. “you are exhausted, had terrible shocks, it is understandable, but you need to let us help.”

twist: PM runs away from embassy.

expect: PM goes into phone box to make a call.

Twist: The VM has found PM again on street cameras he can hack into.

PM calls USA to break the news about his friend to friend’s family

twist: Friend’s family is angry and blame it all on PM. Friend’s father threatens PM’s life.

PM makes his way back to his hotel but then VM “accidently” bumps into him –Oh, you are American? How is London treating you? Oh no, terrible??? offers help –

PM says thanks but no. His trust level is low and he’s exhausted.

VM says I can see you have been through something dire… I am so sorry you’ve had a tragic experience. This calls PM down a bit.

VM At least let me buy you a drink. “Seems like you need one and a friend.” They go to the bar next door to the hotel. VM is really taken by PM. PM is just trying to wrap his head around it all…

Twist or turning point? Drink is drugged. PM passes out, his pockets rifled and is taken away by VM and aide.

VM’s hench man returns to Hotel room with key… packs it up.

mystery: A random woman goes to the counter, says a guy she can’t describe gave her money to deliver this envelope. In the envelope is payment of hotel bill and note saying the man has returned home to the USA.

While PM is out cold, VM and aide put ‘ai’ faked photos on social media of PM, distort the car crash into a sordid tale… re tweets galore.

mystery: why is VM so bent on destroying a total stranger?

PM wakes up in the estate alone. PM looks around the villa. The staff does not speak English?? They shrug, act like PM is just another crazy party goer.

VM has left a lap top where PM can find it. PM Finds a phone and a lap top. He sees the crazy social media posts and is just more confused by them than angry. who the fuck posted this shit?

PM is freaked out when he finds that nearly 2 days have passed. that he has missed his flight home, and the Amer. Embassy as well as the police seem not to be clear about him or the incidents. PM is a wanted man.

TWist: PM is at first outraged and then wants to escape.

PM recognizes VM approaching, slips outside rather than confront VM and decides he’ll run to a road…any road.

twist: VM is watching from hidden cameras. VM-Release the hounds. then VM rescues PM from the dogs and brings PM back to the estate.

expect: PM is angry about not knowing where he is, Where are his papers?

Papers? You had nothing on you VM lies.

VM You went through a huge trauma and passed out. We tried to “help” “do you think I kidnap and traffic pretty men??”

expect: PM to panic – is being trafficked? but

twist: A CHANGE COMES OVER HIM…. and PM comes on seductively to VM then “faints.”

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Turning Point/ plot twist?

As VM’s hench man is taking the groggy PM away upstairs,

twist: PM is not fainted; surprises, overpowers, and shoves the henchman out the window head first, the body lays still on the ground, then with surprising stealth, sneaks through house and grabs the lap top.

The henchman is discovered outside!! The alarm is sounded. VM yells to find PM!

Cat and mouse. PM sees on the computer what rooms have cameras, ducks around, narrowly missing being caught and avoids them. PM finds a pair of gloves and takes them.

VM’s guards or henchmen split up to search. They have communication ear buds maybe.

PM subdues another henchman, takes the ear bud and weapon, Does he kill the henchman with a tie??? Hides the body in or behind some furniture. Or some other clever way to kill him???

PM begins to hunt VM.

expect hunt and chase

twist PM is an efficient killer

PM Captures the aide and begins to choke out his life in order to negotiate with VM

twist PM suggests VM hire him since he is better than VM’s other guards

VM shrieks…” WTF are you CIA or something?”

PM says “Or something.” PM notices that the estate’s staff are fleeing. He doesn’t care. Let the police come.

PM confronts VM about the social media sensationalism. It is a game of followers and influencers. VM admits to orchestrating the car wreck. PM is disgusted and angry.

VM lies, says it wasn’t him… it was his aide…the aide is the techy… VM just collects followers and hits for money from advertisers and influencers, he doesn’t really care as long as the money comes in…

PM grabs VM. PM is stronger than VM.

twist: instead of subduing VM, PM puts the gun in VM’s hand but his hand is on it too. PM makes VM shoot the aide, and fires randomly around the room until the gun is empty.

PM hits VM and knocks him out then breaks a chair over him. PM feels for a pulse.. there is none.

PM waits for police with his story of self defense.

Staff has been rounded up. What is their story? They get hired when the VM throws a party.

Is it even VMs house? No. it is on the market and been standing empty. VM was a real estate mogul who used vacant properties for his parties. PM was brought to the house passed out they think…They thought it was another eccentric prank.

They relate how PM was trying to leave but VM set dogs on him. As far as they could tell, VM was doing some sort of sadistic game with the American. Their excuse? VM always had wild parties and he paid very well to keep quiet.

PM is questioned… who killed the guards? As far as PM knows they killed each other.

twist: PM is just a tourist on his honeymoon with his partner when a car struck them and killed his husband.

twist: PM is a trans man (could become trans man action hero)

[Leslie A Aguillard]

Leslie’s Thriller Plot

What I learned…having the mysteries and life threatening events thought up in advance makes the story much easier to fill in, or to brainstorm even better connections between events.

Introduction of Villain. Wealthy, Wild, Wanton party where tempers flare out of control and a woman drives off recklessly with some passengers, seemingly the pawns of the host.

Mystery: why is she being provoked; if she is not in control of her car – who is?

Introduction of Hero. Celebration, comradery at a pub, and two men bid farewell to friends and drive away normally..

Life threatening: woman’s speeding car, Screeching, screaming, narrowly escaping crashes, like a missile being aimed at a target.

Mystery: Who are these men? Are they being targeted?

life threatening: Scenes cut back and forth from the woman’s car to the men’s car.

Inciting incident: terrible car crash, several dead, thanks to the villain hacking into woman’s car controls. Woman’s car bursts into flames. Why was she killed? Collateral damage to hero and his friend hurt by the crash. Villain delays police and ambulance to the scene.

Turning point 1– Hero’s friend dies in hospital.

Life threatening– police escort not really police. Hero jumps from car and runs off. Dodges the fake police looking for him as he makes his way to hotel.

Mystery – hero becomes a target, why? Was no one supposed to survive? Hero’s room is ransacked. American Embassy unsympathetic but can provide information for transporting the friend’s body back to the states. Family of dead friend react very badly to news of their son’s death and blame the hero. Approached by men claiming to offer help.

Life threatening– hero is drugged and kidnapped

Midpoint- awake in a strange mansion, no passport or wallet or phone

mystery – what is he doing there? who is responsible?

Life Threatening- tries to run away and is chased down by dogs.

Turning point 2 – hero pretends to succumb and play along or want to work for villain

mystery – will he be trafficed somehow?

Life Threatening – fighting off armed guards.

mystery – who is the hero…he seems really good at killing!

Climax – hero sets up villain to look like he has killed the guards and hero then kills villain staging it to look like it was self defense

Resolution – hint at the identity of hero ( a missing black ops agent?? a serial killer who has resurfaced in England?? A gay vigillante?? )

[Leslie A Aguillard]

Leslie’s Life Threatening Sequence

What I learned doing this assignment:

I gave up making my villain wanting to be top dog among oligarchs. It seems beyond me. So, I thought of a powerful person just toying with someone in order to destroy a “no body” just for fun, because villain knows he can. In order to somehow be okay coming up with evil stuff, I had to accept that the villain is mentally ill. The sociopathic behavior/psychopathic behavior is excuse in itself for the bad things he does. I had to pretend to understand that this behavior is compelling for the villain and that causing pain, trouble, etc. for someone else is what the villain enjoys. The villain feels invincible, above the law, and money has never failed to buy whatever he wanted. I tell myself that I do not need to understand it any farther than this…accept it and write things accordingly. Well… it seemed to work for me.

Villain- has exclusive dinner party wherein others of his class in a luxury location. The hero just happens to be vacationing in that area.

Villain has pulled a mean stunt upon one of his guests in order to ruin the reputation and poison their millions of “followers” (one of his games) and notices that the hero and friends were harmed by the ruined guest racing away outraged. Perhaps bad car accident… the Villain hoots, enjoying the crash he can somehow observe. Then villain sees survivors – the hero and friend. The car crash should probably be #1 but….

The hero and hero’s friends are nothing more than collateral damage to the villain and only because the hero and friend survive the crash… the villain notices them. Something about the hero attracts the villain (so beautiful/handsome? Reminds villain of a childhood rival? Something we don’t yet know)

Once noticed however, the villain takes pleasure in hurting them and instead of collateral damage, the villain is amused to focus his evilness upon them, like a game.

What is terrifying about this is that the hero is a random victim – no motive, no goal other than the destruction of a person…the way a bored mean kid burns an ant under a magnifying glass.

The Villain foils the hero’s plan to report the car crash (whatever the incident will be)

1. misdirecting the police, and frustrates the hero further jeopardizes hero and friend by delaying ambulance so the hurt friend nearly dies right there.

The hero and friend can’t grasp why anyone would be messing with them for any reason : are they just unlucky victims or are they are being terrorized deliberately? But why? Hero goes to hospital with friend. Can’t get details. Told to call back tomorrow.

2. Police report gets lost. Police act like they know nothing about the incident or harm to hero’s friend.

3. Hero’s Hotel room trashed is brushed off as a failed robbery since hero’s passport and money are on the hero’s person. Then

4. friend in hospital dies and the death is deemed natural rather than suspicious. Hero feels devastated…tries/fails to reach family and friends – something not working with hero’s phone.

Hero, failing to get any satisfaction from hospital or police, goes to American Embassy, but

5. there, too, no evidence, no identities or reasons, it is all brushed off as a sad occurrence that happens when people travel. Advice…go home.

The hero is

6. followed and photographed and doctored photos show up on social media to embarrass and harass the hero – who is perplexed, appalled then moved from grief to both anger and fear… there is no doubt, hero is being targeted. Why? By whom?

The embassy and police both say

7. why would anyone want to target you? You are nobody. It must be some jilted friend seeking revenge. Hero complains I have no such enemy. Hero is laughed at… no one is a saint… you must have some petty enemy somewhere who is out to get you. The hero may not be a saint but knows no reason why he’s pissed anyone off that much ever. Computers at embassy are hacked??

Hero is deflated and wants to return home to the USA.

His 8. airline reservation vanishes. Then his

9. hotel reservation vanishes. While waiting for a cab to go to a suggested hostel, hero is 10. robbed of his luggage. People on the street shrug. Police again take report but no identification so unlikely to find anyone.

Then, Hero is met by villain who pretends to be a good Samaritan and offers to help…

Hero is wary…wants to return to Amer. Embassy… villain drops him off then hero realizes his 11. passport is now missing. Villain says ‘The pick pockets are extremely clever. ‘ Let me at least buy you a drink…

12. hero consents then is drugged.

Meanwhile using ai, Villain posts on Hero’s social media nasty photos, lies saying that plans changed, he’s staying in Europe. Friends and family of deceased Hero’s friend are alarmed, attempts to reach hero fail, authorities don’t know what to suggest… money, time, distance, importance… people vanish. Villain laughs while posting and answering hero’s social media and being ugly. Little people are so easy to squash.

Hero wakes up in Villain’s lavish home in the country somewhere.

13. Lost, alone, being molested? Hero can’t speak the language. Staff is unconcerned for hero’s well-being – he’s just another obnoxious guest or whatever. Hero tries to run across the landscape only to be

14. chased up a tree by dogs followed by a security person on a motor bike with sidecar to fetch him back to the house after security person subdues hero – but maybe not entirely.

Hero taken to a room… panics when he can’t leave… but now must rally and somehow go on the offensive to survive.

What can he do to avoid being murdered for fun? No allies. Cut off from home. BUT so far it seems that the villain sees hero as only a weak mouse/ victim to be toyed with…. Villain has not taken hero seriously as an adversary…

I haven’t yet decided what special skill or training or insight or intelligence my hero has that will help him survive. But he has no choice now…

Hero needs to escape his room/ avoid being drugged / avoid dogs/ reach his real friends and family via computer?? Will he unmask the villain? Will he outsmart the villain and fix it so the villain cannot victimize anyone else? How? So: 15, 16, 17 and maybe 18 are yet to come as the Hero survives….

[Leslie A Aguillard]

Leslie A.A.’s Mystery Sequence

What I learned doing this: I need to first grasp this thinking, the end first, reverse engineer, decide what the secrets are and how to hide them and then reveal them. What a red herring is (And I thought both Beth and Catherine did crimes).

I am trying to understand these steps as if they were fill in the blanks, and what is filled in is plot lines/story ideas, but I’m still not coming up with the story ideas. Trying to find a balance between an idea big enough for a movie but intimate enough for an audience to relate to it.

It needs to be personal? Just do the steps. Trust the process…

What’s the Big Secret my villain is hiding? That he/she wants to be the top dog with all the power but wants to make it seem like he/she is a saint or savior and graciously accepts the power thrust upon him/her. He/She wants to be the only one left standing (among his level of power beings).

How many ways can the villain cover this up? By deflecting the blame to others; lying about how things actually happened so it is his word against someone else’s; disguising the true nature of projects that may have some good outcomes for people but mostly fits into his/her big plan; getting others to believe they are being smart when they are just being manipulated into doing what he/she wants; disguising the deaths of his ‘rivals’… who don’t realize they are rivals…they think they are partners.

When all else fails, manipulate the data: what they think the future holds is sabotaged… Martian colonies will never happen until space junk is cleaned up around planet earth and that won’t happen until safeguards are in place in case the satellites do go down (full Kessler syndrome), thus taking doomsday prepping to a new level.

Convince others to take down the current space racers because they are only speeding up the Kessler effect so need to redirect those resources into clean up operations to help ensure lunar bases will be built soon (from which the villain will stage his own Martian colonizing agendas.

The current space racers could be red herrings. They already have the reputation of not caring about the rest of humanity. Their clean up efforts could be seen as their own insurance to escape the planet when all the satellites fail.

The First Mystery that the Hero has no choice but to solve:

Hero is having a phone call with someone very important, someone who needs the Hero’s immediate help and the phone line goes dead… not because of a low battery. Other electronic devices stop… the computer… some vehicles in traffic. Hero’s first thought “EMP and impending nuclear war” but suddenly the computer reboots and traffic begins unsnarling. Some sort of back up generator kicks in. Hero thinks of the 1951 BW film and says ” Klaatu barada nikto ” but the phone still doesn’t work and the special someone still needs help (Hero’s child? Spouse?) But where was that person calling from? No phone, no GPS, no idea where to go to get to the special person. Thinking: damn, we never set up a place to meet in case anything bad happened, just go home, when else would that person be? Try not to panic. If this is happening to me, it is likely happening to others. Is there a news report? How wide spread is the problem? Where is the special someone?

What might the situation be? An active shooter at a mall or school? A handicapped spouse in an electric vehicle stranded somewhere strange? I don’t know yet.

It feels like before I can make a mystery change I need to know the story details. These are yet to dawn on me.

[Leslie A Aguillard]

Leslie A. A. Villain Has a Great Plan!

What I learned from this assignment: in theory, to reverse engineer the story, specific here, the villain. One of the difficulties I had was trying to make a villain that was different – but basically they are all the same. Then I was trying to make an ultimate villain, one that when vanquished, all the world’s problems would be solved – that became far too complicated when I did some research. I should know by now how complicated the world is. Then I thought about a small villain, and intimate villain, but I floundered there. Rather than stop myself with the thought that I just didn’t think like a decent villain, I just went for the steps Hal laid out… try to make it simple and general for now.

What’s the villain’s end goal: To be the top dog, the king of the pile, to have all the chips or all the power, all the money.

How does the villain accomplish this? The villain knows all the other “top dogs” and knows what they have – how much money, into what those top dogs invest, and knows what will temp them to “support his scheme that will ultimately and surprisingly turn on them.”

How does the villain cover up his scheme? The villain makes it appear that all the aspects of his grand plan are good business ventures; things that will feed the egos and give good press to his “rivals.” He makes his rivals feel like partners rather than competitors. He manipulates his rivals into feeling admired by the people rather than hated by them… he is throwing out the ‘gangster’ play book for a ‘savior’ play book.

Sequencing: In order to win the long game, there are steps to take…. experimental habitats on the failing planet earth which will be used by the ‘rivals and their heirs’ to survive in the long run: from semi underground earth habitats to space stations, to lunar bases, to robots building Mars habitats, and testing the ‘paraterraforming’ technologies needed for human survival on other than Earth planets. The Villain sells the future of humanity to his rivals and also the lesser entities needed to gain public approval while all the time planning to seduce the rivals into trips of a lifetime only to have them implode like the sub visiting the Titanic.

[Leslie A Aguillard]

Leslie Aguillard’s SOTL Stacking Suspense Thriller

What I learned from doing this assignment: Trying to think like Hal. How he can label an action or an element briefly that takes me sentences to describe. I’m not there yet.

Frankly it took me 4 hours going through Basic Instinct trying to grasp his notes to the scenes. Often I was off track, though I got the idea of how I was supposed to think, I still struggled getting there. I would watch the scene. Think about what was going on then look at the notes and try to reconcile the two, mine and Hal’s. I want to be able to think like Hal or understand how that thinking works in order to use the short-hand to generate ideas, not the other way around.

Then Silence of the Lambs, which I had watched a few days prior to this assignment for the first time. It was not as I feared. I remember, when I was a kid in Chicago, the story of this killer who skinned people. My own notes on the movie were one full page of tiny writing. The notes I took on Basic Instinct however, WITH the filled in chart, was 8 pages! Clearly, I am trying to wrap my head around this approach, but not there yet. I know I need to ‘get it’ yet I only grasp the short-hand of Action/Myster/Intrigue/Suspense/Character and Stakes because I know the details rather than the short-hand having meanings on their own. I have a long way to go to translate the short-hand labels into producing the story details to fulfill them. I have to think differently than I do now. Others have done it, so I have to tell myself I also can.

Silence of the Lambs – details.

Action: Training scene while the titles roll. Woman running. Mystery: who is she? Why is she training? Intrigue: She’s alone on the course, why? Suspense: is she about to be attacked? Character: She is strong, working hard, determined. Stakes: Ah, relief, she is on an obstacle course. She is not currently in danger.

Her name is Clarice Starling, she is interrupted on the obstacle course by a superior who tells her Crawford wants to see her, who is Crawford, must be the boss. Ah! Starling is in the FBI. Contrasting her tiny self in the elevator filled with large men a head and shoulders taller made me laugh. I was relieved at that. Maybe this movie won’t be as horrifying as I thought since I have avoided watching it all these years. So, what does Clarice, this tiny woman, have that the big guys don’t? They don’t snicker at her, so she’s accepted and possibly respected… good. So, what is her role at the FBI?

Action: Clarice goes to see Crawford. Mystery: What does he want. What is Clarice’s role in the FBI? Suspense: what does Crawford want from her? Character: though she is opposite in size and demeanor from the men she is smart and important and accepting of the challenge. Stakes: Can she get Hannibal to cooperate and not let him get into her head? (I’m not confident I am labeling these element correctly so will stop….)

Crawford, the boss, likes(?) Clarice and is giving her this assignment – since nothing else has worked. She’s okay with that. Crawford warns Clarice not to let Hannibal get into her head. What does that even mean? Is this the stakes?

Introduced to Buf. Bill’s grisly serial crimes of skinning victims via pictures on the wall. Since Starling is an in- training profiler, her assignment is to interview another serial killer to get insights on who Buf. Bill is and how to catch him. Her first big assignment? Is she up to it? She thinks so. Who is this Hannibal Lecter? A brilliant but quite insane psychiatrist who has not cooperated with anyone thus far, but the FBI believes he can lead them to Buf.Bill, so Clarice is the new approach. She is warned not to let Hannibal get into her head.

So, there is this psychological danger – maybe right up her alley. What happens when Hannibal gets in your head? Will Clarice be able to prevent that? Will she be able to get Hannibal to cooperate and find Buf Bill? The point is to stop Buf.Bill and find out if Clarice can do it. I’m just not sure how to do the short hand yet.

I liked the introduction of Clarice, it unfolded, showing contrasts- she was capable though small in stature, and it seemed the only female in a sea of men, in a dangerous profession. She is shown as serious about her job. She has a southern twang to her voice – it tugs at an irrational prejudice of mine that southern drawls are off-putting, but her training and title means she is smart and the goal to which she is being set is huge, catching a ghastly serial killer the FBI can’t seem to stop.

Introducing a character I know is important, not only to the story, but for getting an actor to want to play the role. I liked the “opposites” of Clarice’s tiny size to the big physical size of the men around her. I liked that she is supposed to be smart. She also is trained to get inside of other people’s heads. Will it be a contest between her and this Hannibal Lecter?

Now introducing the other characters. (pardon if I spell names wrong)

Dr. Chilton, head of the asylum-prison that houses Hannibal. Chilton is creepy, cloying, likes being in charge, warns Clarice about Hannibal which is why he should accompany her, showing her a photo of a nurse who has her face bit off by Hannibal. Chilton wants to show how smart and important he is but Clarice shuts him down – politely but definitely saying it is better if she sees Hannibal alone. Clarice acts confident and in charge. Chilton doesn’t like that but he will watch on a monitor. Clarice now needs to prove she is up for it.

Introduction to Hannibal. Series of locked gates emphasize this maximum security crazy bin. A dark hall, stay to the right (out of reach) while walking past violent, gross, scary and loud monster men. One yells “I can smell your cunt” while Clarice keeps walking despite flinching from those inmates. She has a job to do. They can’t reach her, not physically.

And then, in stark contrast, is Hannibal. A clean cell at the very end. It is brightly lit contrasted to the dark and dingy other cells. Thick plexiglass with small holes in it instead of bars. He can’t physically touch her. Things are passed through the wall in stages. He stands erect, focused, composed, dignified, like he is totally in charge despite being incarcerated. He doesn’t need to posture or thrash around; His eyes are piercing and direct and he speaks distinctly and softly. He is intrigued by Clarice and deigns to talk with her because she is “honest” with him. ( a ploy? Of course.) He tells how he ate the liver with fava beans and a nice chianti. He tells her to ignore the other men and says he cannot smell her cunt but he smells her soap or perfume. He observes her closely. He seems willing to comply or is he just toying with her? He suggests she look into Moffit’s storage – whatever that is.

To further see into Clarice’s story there is a flashback. Her father was a cop. She cries.

Deeper into the story now. Crawford tells Clarice that the inmate who was so rude to her is dead…Hannibal got into his head and he kills himself swallowing his own tongue in his cell. Revolting, but we see how manipulative and effective Hannibal is.

Answer what is in Moffit’s storage: hearse, grisly head in a bottle. Hannibal is again questioned. He wants Buf.Bill’s case file to help catch him; says Buf.Bill is looking for his next victim. Sets up meeting Buf.Bill.

Introduction of Buf. Bill: we watch a woman being stalked and tricked into a van! Terrifying how easily it was done to a woman trying to be helpful; how easily he got away with the abduction. We don’t see Buf Bill much.

Clarice is called to another scene, body in the water a week, a victim of Buf.Bill; Everyone recoils but Clarice stays ‘professionally detached,’ but she notices what others don’t, an insect casing in the body’s mouth. Clarice takes this to bug experts at a museum. It is a death’s head moth, from another country, has to be grown here, it has meaning. So, Buf Bill is meticulous and ritualistic.

Glimpse at Buf. Bill’s lair: the miserable pleading woman at the bottom of a well in a dungeon. Horrifying. As if BB wasn’t scary enough. Will she be saved?

Contrast to the senator on TV asking for Katherine to be returned; Clarice insight says it is good the senator keeps using Katherine’s name, trying to make BB see Katherine as a person rather than a thing.

Back to the famous lines from the movie with BB telling Katherine to rub the lotion, put the lotion in the basket. BB has a little dog. Why show the dog? Another Contrast? Maybe that’s a vulnerability.

The senator agrees to have Hannibal moved to Memphis per his wishes. (What? Are they nuts?? What can go wrong??) Chilton, seems a tad sadistic himself, doesn’t like losing control of Hannibal. There is a point made about Chilton’s pencil on a table which disappears while talking to Hannibal about being transferred… the deal so Hannibal will cooperate. What about that pencil???

Hannibal is masked, straight-jacketed, strapped to a gurney, surrounded by guards who do not appreciate the danger they all are in. The senator meets them at the airport. Hannibal gives up more info on BB…his name is Lewis, this tall, blonde hair. While Chilton is whoreing to the press about his own importance, Clarice is making anagrams of the name Lewis – clearly games are being played and she is trying to discover the games and the meaning while others are distracted. Hannibal gives Clarice another hint – “Lewis covets.”

Hannibal gets Clarice to tell a story from her childhood running away from a ranch, and we get the title of the movie: lambs screaming about to be slaughtered– she is unable to save even one. Does this also foreshadow Clarice/FBI failure?? Clarice returns to Washington, while Hannibal is working his own plan, toying with his guards.

Another escalation– Hannibal’s escape! Hannibal uses a pencil part to unlock his handcuffs while two cops bring him dinner then ruthlessly kills them. Takes a knife. MISLEAD: other cops sound the alarm and try to hunt for Hannibal and think they are taking one of the fallen cops to the hospital. Turns out Hannibal took the cop’s face off and wears it like a mask, dressed up as the cop and kills everyone in the ambulance and gets away. Shockingly clever.

Clarice feels sure Hannibal will not come after her. (Really? Why? – I guess there will be a sequel)

Escalation again: So, we learned how ghastly ruthless Hannibal is, now lets get more into Buff. Bill. We see him sewing (assume it is human skin). Clarice makes a connection: We covet what we see everyday. (I never thought about that but just accepted this analysis) so Clarice investigates BB’s first victim. Things are moving fast now. The lead sends FBI to Calumet City outside Chicago, where the first victim was from.

Escaltion: BB makes himself up and dances for video. If we didn’t think he could be more insane…this…demonstrates it.

Crawford’s team seems to be doing one thing contrasting to Clarice doing another, connecting her own dots, tracking down her own lead and we get shocked to find they are not in the same place – Clarice is on her own at the real BB location. The stakes zoom sky high here. How is Clarice going to get the drop on BB or otherwise survive?

Katherine down in the well has been trying her own manner of escape by luring BB’s little dog into being trapped down the well with her. How desperate and determined she is in this horrible situation. BB hates that his dog is in the well and gets a gun, but then someone is as his door!!! It is Clarice.

Clarice weedles her way into BB’s house, she knows she is right, BB is suspicious and escapes down in his cavernous basement, luring Clarice into deeper danger (how is that even possible?) Clarice discovers Katherine and tells her the FBI is on the way. (Really, are they? Will they arrive in time?)

The creepiest sequence is when BB turns the lights out. In the pitch black Clarice is panicking, trying to feel around in the dark while BB has night vision glasses, creeping closer and closer and closer. Clarice luckily hears BB’s gun cock and she begins firing in that direction and empties her gun into BB. (Yikes, wow and whew)

Ahhh – Katherine is saved, wrapped in a blanket, Clarice is okay. Back in Washington Clarice is given an award for having caught and killed BB etc. then the phone rings for her, What Now? Out in the hall she hears…..

(Oh the black humor of it all) Hannibal is disguised, on some tropical island, and tells Clarice he can’t talk long enough for the call to be traced, besides, he has to go… he’s having a friend for dinner.

We see that creep Chilton likely trying to hide from Hannibal since everyone knows he escaped, but clearly he did not succeed. Hannibal casually follows Chilton. The End. (I did not feel the least bit sorry for Chilton…ugh…what does that say about me?) (Also, am not sure I can see the prequel or the sequel)

[Leslie A Aguillard]

Leslie Aguillard’s WORLD and CHACTERS

What I learned doing this assignment is __that I’m not sure how to state a character’s Mystery, Suspense and Intrigue, so I described desires, fears, but am not sure that is it.

The Concept: There is a Mystical ‘thing’ to save life on Earth which seems irrational, absurd even, and those in power do not believe it will prevent the oncoming extinction event. (which is??? On-coming gamma burst from a nova star?? Not sure yet.)

The Mystery: How to prove to those in power that there is a Mystical ‘Thing’, and by doing the Mystical ‘thing’ they will saves Life on Earth from Extinction, and prevent the extinction event, and only they can do it. Can they do it before the extinction event arrives? Is utter transformation to something unrecognizable any better than death?

The Intrigue: The plan of the Villain – he believes he will not die and all his worldly goods/power will remain for him to enjoy, and to give that up is worse than death, it is eternity in Hell, which he believes is more real than the extinction event.

The Suspense: The villain wants to kill the hero, kill even the idea of some “mystical anything” could/will save anyone/everything because the villain believes Hell is more real and that only he can cheat death. Human societies are beginning to panic; doom looms.

The Intriguing World: There are Shamans and there are Shamans – history is filled with stories, fables, wishful thinking and none of it is based on much if anything, and people are sick of being scammed… No religion has ever gotten “it” and no practice so far has either, however… and while people panic, some want to believe there is the fundamental Reality of the “Mystical Thing” that could save them. What really is “salvation?” Reality?

Some used meditation to reach ‘understanding’, some used drugs, some used money and power and nothing worked. The planet Earth is dying and extinction looms and the powers that be refuse to change anything because they believe nothing can be done.

until……the actual location of the ‘ Altar of All Light’ is discovered. What is it? A portal? The basis of every legend? But to go there requires a breakthrough in consciousness no one has yet achieved, and panic is definitely NOT the way.

Should I even be Hinting at alternative realities and the multi-verse???

So, how to cut through the woo-woo and B.S. to that one transcendent FACT, which once known/experienced/grasped/felt/whatever, allows anyone, even the most cynical selfish psychopath to be transformed into “That which Saves the World” and becomes unrecognizable as anything he or she was before? Is that also not death??The clock is ticking.

The top two characters:

A. The Research Analyst Mystic-loving beautiful young professor – loves the idea that such a Mystical Thing exists, though even she thinks it is just another story. She is feminist and though compassionate to males, feels it is not possible to be on an equal footing with men. Her success thus far has made her independent.

Her Mystery/Secret: she is afraid that “normal” relationships will only end her ambitions to attain “Fame, Wealth, Safety”. She thinks THIS world is the only one that is real because she can’t wrap her mind around the concept of alternate realities. Her core belief is if she can understand a thing then she can teach it to someone else. She thinks she is always right because so often it has been true. She has mostly always been the smartest person in the room.

Her Suspense/danger to self/ her high stakes: She thinks she is more rational than she is; she is suspicious of men even as she is attracted to men; she wants to save the world but fears it isn’t possible; She can’t see that her own desire for “Fame-Glory-Wealth” is not any different from the 1% she blames for the problems in the world. Her work/research/ book deals/teaching/talks and relationships are seductive and she both wants them and rejects them as distractions from the idea of the “Mystical Thing”. She shrinks if and when she is shown to be not the smartest in the room. And now, she is fears someone will kill her for ‘no reason’, like a nameless casualty, her biggest fear, and feels no one can keep her safe.

Her Intrigue/ plan: She justifies her actions: not really using someone to gain her ends, or that she really doesn’t have agendas when she does. Facing herself, being honest that she is human/vulnerable and flawed horrifies her. Finding out she may be wrong about everything she has known terrifies her…. In this way, she and the villain are alike?

B. The eccentric fabulously wealthy handsome man who teeters on insanity believing he can avoid death and Hell as long as he can, once and for all, rid people of the idea there is a way to avoid extinction…. For Them…. Not him. He is “a scientist” when it suits him. When he notices “A” he is triggered into fear, hatred, and desire to destroy as never before.

His Mystery/Secret: he convinced he alone knows the truth of how the world works. He has so much money no one has ever said no to him, he feels invincible – except he is afraid of death and that nothing ultimately matters. He doubts himself but can’t have anyone suspect that. There is no time left to send people to Mars or establish a colony there.

His Suspense/danger to self: The thought that nothing matters scares him, undermines his confidence; he plans his suicide just in case but this causes him more doubt. He believes that if the organization around him knows that he is willing to let them all die to save himself, they will kill him first. He has zero trust but doesn’t want to show that. He thinks money will buy anything, anyone, will accomplish survival of his consciousness.

His Intrigue/plan: “A” triggers his fear even as others seem to embrace her mystical ideas and are inspired to help her save the planet. He feels he must discredit her, defame her or destroy her but cannot be seen as the one to do it. Maybe he will try to woo “A” and trick her into surrendering to him romantically. He feels like a good vampire.

[Leslie A Aguillard]

Leslie A Aguillard’s Big M. I. S.

What I learned doing this assignment is that these components are to be deliberate and are concepts separate from context or story. I think that’s what I meant, but I fear story is already sneaking in to my thinking

Logline: Time is running out fast for saving life on Earth from a planetary extinction event which only an unlikely and obscure connection can prevent.

Hero: Mystic Genius Analyst theorizes proof exists that will cause leaders to wake up and do what they could easily do if they chose to save the world

Villain: faithless, ignorant and selfish, disregarding the plight of all others as inconsequential, want to keep and enjoy feeling good and powerful here & now, and want to silence the hero.

High Stakes: This is the last generation on Earth unless certain drastic measures are instituted now to save all life.

Life & Death: the powerful refuse to believe and/or do not care that there will be no one left after they die unless they act in ways very foreign to them now. They work at discrediting and silencing the hero.

Thrilling because: 99% of humans and the rest of all life doesn’t want to die and must influence the 1% in power, while little time remains in order to stop the extinction event peacefully. Try to convince someone who doesn’t care what you say and dismisses who you are even with proof that they must change utterly.

Big Mystery: Why isn’t acting now to save all life on Earth even up for debate?

Big Intrigue: The secret belief shared by the wealthiest 1% ruling the world and why this belief makes them not care if the planet is destroyed after they die….maybe they believe they will never die.

And /or another secret of incredible individuals preserving the remaining few life giving connections.

Big Suspense: Only a few connections remain that, if broken, will be the tipping point of no return for the extinction level event for Planet Earth, and only a few scientists and thinkers, like the hero, even think about it.

In the grand scheme of Cosmic things, life on Earth is irrelevant except to Life on Earth. Have we enough self-respect or self-love to keep life evolving here?

[Leslie A Aguillard]

Lesson One: The Tutor ;

Thriller movie Conventions: Opening: it seems that Ethan Campbell, a private tutor to rich and vapid teens, is the unwitting hero, hired by his friend Chris for a mysterious assignment for a lot of money requiring a week long live-in to start. Ethan’s girlfriend Annie is pregnant and they seem charming, happy, healthy and interested in the opportunity to make more money. Ethan takes photos to pass time.

A driver brings Ethan to a very rich area and is led through a huge estate to his charge, “Sir Jackson”.

Who is the student, Jackson? It is set up like he is going to be the villain. He is not forthcoming, seems highly intelligent, though odd, maybe “on the spectrum.” Other teens at the house taunt Ethan with sexual innuendos, but Ethan remains cool.

Jackson says he’s not allowed to talk about what father does; mother was sent away. Jackson knows way more about Ethan than he should like, he’s not married to Annie, Annie is pregnant, and isn’t Ethan worried about having a bastard child? Ethan, clearly disturbed, wants to stick to work.

Who is Jackson’s father? What happened to Jackson’s mom. A cousin, living in the house with some girls for the summer, hints that the mom wasn’t sent away. What happened??

Ethan is taunted with 5 grand which he takes while Jackson and the cousin seem to have won some bet. Ethan is left picking money up from the floor, says just when I thought I saw it all.

Jackson later shows up at Ethan’s room in pajamas and pretends to be sad, climbs on the sofa and puts his head on Ethan’s knee…says his father never liked him, and getting Ethan to reveal bad things about his own father and mother leaving him. Jackson pops up and leaves, ” You do listen, he says” not ever having been sad and Ethan is angry about getting played again.

Ethan wants to go home, the week is up, but Jackson invites him to a dinner with his dad but Ethan refuses. A man appears, Ethan assumes it is Jackson’s dad but this is not stated. Ethan says he won’t come to dinner, the man says it’s okay, offers to let Ethan take a large painting, they have so many… very odd. Then later Ethan tries to find Jackson through the huge again empty house and finds lots of photos of Ethan and Annie on Jackson’s computer. Though Appalled, Ethan gets back home.

Chris later calls Ethan and says he is invited to return for 3 x the money. A year’s work in a month! Ethan is duped into returning to the mansion rather than meeting in the city, but Jackson never shows up, instead calls and stalls and says ‘have some fruit’…Ethan eats fruit that is drugged and wakes up struggling to survive being thrown in a lake 7 hours later. It seems like Jackson is playing a deadly game, but why? Ethan hitches home to Annie soaking wet, having missed an important baby doctor appointment.

Annie does not believe Ethan’s story that Jackson would drug Ethan or throw him in the lake and alludes to “something that happened before.” Perhaps Ethan was unfaithful before? Maybe Ethan has a dark side after all?

Ethan and Annie meet friends for dinner, Ethan is drinking, clearly not a good drunk, and begins talking trash about his rich clients, says he feels like a whore etc etc unsavory comments puts everyone off and then Jackson appears at their table! Jackson says his father owns several buildings on this block and they weekend there in the city. Annie hates when Ethan drinks – we find out Ethan has this flaw, as well as how he feels about being a tutor, and it reminds Annie of Ethan’s father, which also is not a good thing.

Ethan then finds a lot of photos in his dark room of himself with girls, he is horrified, and there is a photo of Jackson he took. Were these photos taken while Ethan was drugged? or what?? Annie asks if Ethan got any good shots and Ethan says no.

Chris calls again but says Jackson is firing Ethan, is scared of Ethan, accuses him of being inappropriate with girls and there are photos. There are photos but… but… Chris then fires Ethan who now cannot get a job even as a busboy. Annie confronts Ethan: who is Rachel Platt? Here is a news story from years ago, she was murdered. Rachel is someone Ethan once knew, he downplays their “affair,” says she was not murdered, she committed suicide. Annie says “poor Jackson.” Ethan is befuddled by her taking Jackson’s side. Ethan’s past seems pretty murky and Annie knows a lot that is also surprising.

(At this point I thought Rachel must be Jackson’s mom, Ethan had an affair with her and this is revenge upon Ethan). Annie kicks Ethan out. Another flaw of Ethan besides drinking: he is violent, beating the steering wheel of his car “why won’t you just die?” Clearly Ethan is not the okay guy we thought. He seems as creepy as Jackson, just in a different way.

Escalation. Ethan and Jackson meet “accidently” and threaten one another, both accusing the other of having lost everything because of the other. Then Ethan is arrested. A video shows someone in a hoody beating up Jackson in an alley. It seems Ethan is set up again. Annie has compassion for Jackson, he’s been traumatized she says, he can’t help it that he came from money. Why is she so understanding about the things happening to Jackson?Why doesn’t she believe Ethan? What is in his past really? How does Annie know Jackson?

Escalation again… Ethan lurks outside the giant mansion, strange people are unpacking and going in. Ethan, like a lunatic, confronts them, but they don’t know any Jackson. Ethan accuses the owner’s wife as being one of the women in the photos, she waves at him, the man kicks Ethan off the property. Ethan is at the police station again. Rachel Platt was Jackson’s mother, and Ethan was questioned years ago when she died. Jackson’s father also died a few years ago so Ethan could not have met him at the mansion. Ethan is crying, told not to leave town. He says he just wants his life back.

Jackson calls Ethan, says to meet him or else the “charade” will continue, and says to meet him where “she” died. Ethan goes out to the mansion, the dock by the lake where Jackson is. Jackson confronts Ethan, he knew to come here where she died, so he killed her. Jackson is making his case despite Ethan’s protests. The cousin hits Ethan from behind. When Ethan wakes on the floor by a fireplace, Jackson further incriminates Ethan, reading from Rachel’s diary…she said Ethan was pathetic, would not let go and each point enrages Ethan more, and he goes from weeping to anger to admission!! In the ensuing struggle, the cousin is killed by Ethan who now hunts Jackson like a predator, the turn-around is complete, Ethan is a very bad guy, regardless of Jackson. He killed Rachel.

As Ethan closes in on a weeping and hiding Jackson in the boat house, Annie Shows up! She confronts Ethan who now is totally the insane killer, saying that they’ were good together but now she knows too much’. A shot is fired. Ethan falls and sinks in the water. (too easy??)

The serene lake, sirens, the detective watches police divers who are not finding the body. Annie is with Jackson. (Cripes, they look like they are related. I think they are). Why didn’t you tell me you thought he did it, Annie asks Jackson. I wanted to find out for myself, he says to Annie. They gaze out the window together.

Last scene…there is Ethan!!.. the monster that just won’t die and keeps coming back. Smiling kindly, he is talking his Tutor game to a new client, ‘it is all about connection’ he says, echoing the words he said at the beginning of the movie. His winning smile fades…creepy. The end

Twist: the Hero and Villain reverse roles. Misleads: friend of Annie’s tells her that she may be jumping to conclusions regarding Ethan and that she is obsessing about Rachel’s story on the internet. Mystery and Reveals about Jackson’s dead parents, and how the character of Ethan erodes (his dislike of the rich students, his drinking, his violence, his sordid past, his guilt), why is Annie so compassionate to Jackson? Suspense: Why is Ethan being stalked? What is going on in that big empty house, who are the people there? When Ethan begins stalking, will he kill Jackson and Annie? How the heck did he survive being shot in that lake? We will never know.

What did I learn: That I still talk too much about plot and need to be more succinct about the components of the thriller genre. There were no scenes that didn’t add to the story, also that not every detail needed to be explained, like were Annie and Jackson really related? or who were those girls with the cousin who was killed at the end. I need to learn when it is okay to Gestalt and necessary to explain. The music was in sinc with the action from light and amusing at the beginning, to eerie and foreboding and dramatic at the end.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by  Leslie A Aguillard. Reason: trying to title the assignment correctly

[Leslie A Aguillard]

My Name is Leslie A. Aguillard

I have written no successful scripts but 5 that I’ve called scripts.

I hope to get my ideas to be ore marketable and interesting.

I like to do line drawings using the statues of Liberty, Freedom, Peace and Justice as characters, as in a coloring book.

[Leslie A Aguillard]

Leslie A. Aguillard

I agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Leslie A Aguillard]

James – would you like to exchange feedback with me?

Leslie A.Aguillard

[Leslie A Aguillard]

Mary – would you like to exchange feed back with me?

Leslie Aguillard