[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Outline Exchange 1!

Anyone interested in exchanging? Feel free to email me if interested.

Title: Cartel Kings
Written By: Linda Kish
Email address: lindalkish@yahoo.com
Genre: Action Thriller
Concept: When a dying kingpin launches a brutal contest for his succession, a peaceful man's family is endangered, forcing him to battle for control of the cartel to save them and destroy it.
Outline: Posted in Lesson 10

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Fascinating Scene Outlines!
My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer who has many successful movies produced and an Oscar on the mantel.
What I learned doing this assignment is this process helped me fill in blanks, think harder about what interest techniques will have the biggest impact, and work out some issues in the plot.

Scene 1
EXT. FARMHOUSE – DAY
Joaquin, a family man and scout for the cartel, is dealing with a typical issue with his kids while he races to a farmhouse.
• Beginning: (Intrigue) Racing + drone overhead following him
• Middle: (Mislead) Arrives at a farmhouse while dealing with a family issue on the phone
• Ending: (Surprise / Reveal) The farm is a drug lab
Scene 2
INT. FARMHOUSE – DAY
He alerts the workers the Federales are coming. As they flee the lab, he blows up the evidence. Risks his life to help an elderly worker to his car.
• Beginning: (Interesting Setting) Yells at workers to get out, take what they can
• Middle: (Dilemma / Suspense) Chooses to help elderly lab worker, risking capture
• Ending: (Major Twist) Just as they exit, Joaquin detonates the lab, providing a dramatic escape from the Federales
Scene 3
INT. NEW DRUG LAB – DAY
Joaquin’s friend, Brayden, reveals he tipped off the police. Dante, #2 in the cartel, kills him for his betrayal while Joaquin stands by helpless.
• Beginning: (Major twist) Brayden tipped off the Federale after a conversation he had with Joaquin about their mutual desire to get out of the cartel
• Middle: (Misinterpretation) Joaquin advises Brayden to keep low, mistakenly thinking it’ll keep him safe
• Ending: (Major Twist / Cliffhanger) Dante kills Brayden and orders Joaquin into his jeep
Scene 4
EXT. OPEN MEXICAN ROAD – DAY
Dante withholds their destination as another jeep, driven by Arturo, #3 in the cartel, joins them, carrying Joaquin’s family.
• Beginning: (Suspense) Where are they going and why?
• Middle: (Intrigue / Mislead) Tense conversation but ends calm, then…
• Ending: (Reveal / Cliffhanger) Another jeep pulls up, his heart sinks as he sees his family inside. Both jeeps take sharp turns off the main road.
Scene 5
EXT. RODRIGO’S COMPOUND – DAY
They arrive at the kingpin’s compound. Arturo helps Camila (Joaquin’s wife) out of the jeep, revealing personal dynamics. Arturo tells Dante that Tomas (Joaquin’s son) is a sharpshooter, Isabel (Joaquin’s daughter) is a livewire – a lot like her mother.
• Beginning: (Intrigue) Arturo’s attentiveness to Camila hints at deeper intentions
• Middle: (Mystery) What does Rodrigo (the kingpin) want with them?
• Ending: (Cliffhanger) Arturo’s locks eyes with Joaquin, a silent threat hanging between them as they enter the compound
Scene 6
INT. COMPOUND – NIGHT
Rodrigo, the kingpin announces he has a terminal illness and is kicking off a competition for his succession with points awarded based on how much they contribute to his infamy.
• Beginning: (Uncomfortable Moment) Rodrigo calls out to Joaquin as he enters the room, putting him uncomfortably in the spotlight
• Middle: (Surprise / Internal Dilemma) The announcement of Rodrigo’s health and the competition shocks everyone + Joaquin grapples with it internally.
• Ending: (Major Twist) A courier drops off an anonymous note to Joaquin that says his family will suffer if he doesn’t participate. He doesn’t sign up.
Scene 7
INT. RODRIGO’S SITTING ROOM – NIGHT
Joaquin was Rodrigo’s deceased son’s best friend growing up and the kingpin insists he and his family stay until he dies. Joaquin’s father was Rodrigo’s #2 and died while protecting him.
• Beginning: (Suspense / Mystery) Rodrigo reminisces about Joaquin’s father and his son, hinting at undisclosed details about their deaths and Rodrigo’s loneliness
• Middle: (Character Changes) Rodrigo rants about the woman who killed his son.
• Ending: (Uncertainty) Joaquin is concerned about the note, but Rodrigo insults Joaquin that he’s too weak and would get killed if he signed up for the competition
Scene 8
INT. VEGA TEMPORARY RESIDENCE – NIGHT
An anonymous figure sneaks into the house, watches Camila in the bathtub.
• Beginning: (Superior Position) Scene opens with a shadowy figure
• Middle: (Suspense / Betrayal) Watches Camila w/disturbing focus
• Ending: (Cliffhanger) She sees the shadow. Fearing for her sleeping children, she jumps out of the tub, but he’s gone. She can’t figure out how he got in or out.
Scene 9
INT. VEGA RESIDENCE / TUNNELS – NIGHT
Hearing what happened, Joaquin races to a trapdoor in the hallway and into the tunnels that he knew about from his childhood.
• Beginning: (Interesting Setting / Intrigue) Accesses trapdoor and hidden tunnels
• Middle: (Suspense / Superior Position) Hears noises, hides, Dante unknowingly walks past, w/Joaquin silently watching, and now he has a suspect
• Ending: (Major Twist) While hiding, he finds C4, stacks of cash, and US military uniforms
Scene 10
EXT. COMPOUND – DAY
Rodrigo reveals Joaquin has been under his protection since his father died, as a promise he made to him due to his father’s loyalty. Isabel lashes out at Rodrigo, wanting to go home.
• Beginning: (Surprise) Joaquin learns about his protected status
• Middle: (Internal Dilemma / Intrigue) Joaquin struggles w/the new info, feeling both grateful, trapped, and terrified for what will happen when the kingpin dies
• Ending: (Uncertainty / Suspense) Isabel’s outburst shows family tensions are high, making their situation even more precarious as Rodrigo’s anger rises.
Scene 11
EXT. / INT. RESTAURANT – DAY
Arturo offers to take Joaquin under his wing and teaches him how to be violent so he is valuable to the organization.
• Beginning: (Mislead) They enter the restaurant and Arturo asks customers what they think of the food, then tosses it across the restaurant
• Middle: (Character Changes Radically / Reveal) Arturo beats Santiago, the restaurant owner, pushes Joaquin to help as he gives him pointers
• Ending: (External and Internal Dilemma) Joaquin is forced to cross his moral code
Scene 12
EXT. CAMPAIGN RALLY – DAY
Dante shoots up the rally, assassinates the gubernatorial candidate. While under fire, Joaquin helps the injured. Arturo brings him a baseball bat to use the next day for their shakedowns.
• Beginning: (Interesting Setting / Major Twist) Unexpectedly opens fire
• Middle: (Internal Dilemma) Torn between fleeing and helping the wounded
• Ending: (Uncertainty) Arturo hands Joaquin a baseball bat to use next day for shakedowns, symbolizing the violence he must embrace, leaving him morally conflicted
Scene 13
EXT. SCHOOL – DAY
Arturo saves Isabel from an attempted kidnapping, deepening the complexities of his character.
• Beginning: (Surprise) Kidnapping attempt is sudden, throwing the school into a panic
• Middle: (Betrayal) Arturo intervenes heroically, conflicting w/his character
• Ending: (Cliffhanger / External Dilemma) Arturo warns Camila that Dante may have been behind it. He offers a bodyguard. What are his true motives and loyalties?
Scene 14
INT. RIVAL DRUG LAB – NIGHT
A cloaked figure blows up a rival drug lab.
• Beginning: (Suspense) Cloaked figure, uses thermal imaging to confirm no occupants
• Middle: (Intrigue) Sets explosives. Who is it and what is he doing?
• Ending: (Major Twist) Lab explodes in a fiery ball
Scene 15
INT. COMPOUND – DAY
Points tally. Dante presents the heads of rivals and the gubernatorial candidate, earning a lot of points. Joaquin admits to blowing up the lab and enters the competition.
• Beginning: (Interesting Setting / Uncomfortable Moment) Dante presents gruesome trophy, shocking the room and setting a brutal tone
• Middle: (Mislead / Reveal / Character Changes Radically) Joaquin declares he blew up a rival lab with a shaky voice that reveals his fear of what’s to come
• Ending: (Uncertainty / Suspense) His declaration hangs in the air as Dante flashes a cold smile, leaving uncertainty about his future actions
Scene 16
INT. VEGA RESIDENCE – DAY
Camila confronts Joaquin about his involvement in the competition, fearing for his morality and their family.
• Beginning: (Betrayal) Camila throws a notebook he’s writing in, expressing anger and disappointment, papers fluttering like their fraying relationship
• Middle: (Internal Dilemma) Joaquin tries to justify his actions, torn between his role as a protector and the man Camila believes him to be
• Ending: (Betrayal / Cliffhanger) Camila walks away, leaving Joaquin alone, symbolizing a growing rift in their relationship
Scene 17
EXT. COMPOUND SHOOTING RANGE – DAY
Joaquin tries to earn points without bloodshed, but struggles. Rodrigo chastises him by shooting at his feet.
• Beginning: (Character Changes Radically) Rodrigo hosts a gathering at the range, that includes Joaquin’s son, Tomas, who revels in the opportunity
• Middle: (Suspense) Rodrigo calls out Joaquin’s failures in the competition, shoots at his feet, causing Joaquin to “dance” to avoid getting shot
• Ending: (Uncomfortable Moment) Tomas is embarrassed by his father
Scene 18
INT. VEGA RESIDENCE – DAY
On drone footage, Joaquin sees a payoff from Arturo to a Federale. He’s interrupted by a shooting sound which is coming from Tomas’s room.
• Beginning: (Superior Position / Mislead) Drone footage of Arturo’s shady dealings
• Middle: (Reveal) Tomas plays a cartel recruiting video game, which lights Joaquin’s ire
• Ending: (Betrayal / Major Twist) Joaquin reveals his father’s death was his fault – he was distracted by Joaquin’s decision to join the cartel against his father’s wishes. Tomas isn’t moved, leaving Joaquin to worry about his son
Scene 19
EXT. / INT. DANTE’S LAIR – DAY
Joaquin plants surveillance equipment (while workers pack fentanyl in crutches) but makes a narrow escape when his presence is detected.
• Beginning: (Intrigue) Stealthily places surveillance devices, hinting at his clever planning
• Middle: (Surprise) Discovers a file with his name, revealing Dante’s close watch
• Ending: (Major Twist / Cliffhanger) Alert from his residence triggers near capture
Scene 20
EXT. TOWN – DAY
Joaquin’s family is safe, but they find flowers and lingerie in Isabel’s room with an anonymous note that it’s “a gift for our upcoming wedding night.”
• Beginning: (Suspense / Uncertainty) His family arrives home at the same time
• Middle: (Uncomfortable Moment / Mystery) Discovers the disturbing gifts, identity remains hidden, adding layers of threat
• Ending: (Suspense) Worried, implications looming
Scene 21
INT. RODRIGO’S SON’S ROOM IN COMPOUND – DAY
To gain favor, Joaquin lies to Rodrigo that they’re related.
• Beginning: (Mislead) Joaquin feeds Rodrigo fabricated story about how they’re related
• Middle: (Character Changes Radically) Rodrigo reacts warmly, rare vulnerability that contrasts his usual toughness. Shares that he can’t get over Maritza, now the Commissioner for US Customs and Border Protection, killing his son 20 yrs ago at the border
• Ending: (Intrigue / Uncertainty) Joaquin delves into a conversation Rodrigo would have wanted to have with his son, wanting to learn everything he can about how to run the cartel. Will the deception hold?
Scene 22
EXT. / INT. EXTRAVAGANT RESIDENTIAL HOME – NIGHT
Arturo alerts Joaquin to an impending danger against his daughter.
• Beginning: (Suspense / Major Twist) Arturo alerts Joaquin that his daughter, Isabel, is at a dangerous party at Dante’s brothers’ place and her bodyguard won’t go up against Luis for fear of retribution
• Middle: (Character Changes Radically) Joaquin arrives to a scream. Finds Luis, Dante’s brother, assaulting Isabel. Fueled by rage, he kills Luis, crossing his moral line
• Ending: (Uncertainty) Isabel clings to Joaquin, both relieved and terrified of the man he’s becoming, as is he
Scene 23
EXT. STEPS OUTSIDE THE COMPOUND – MORNING
Arturo tells Camila about Joaquin’s violent act, aiming to sever their bond.
• Beginning: (Superior Position) Camila doesn’t know about the assault / murder
• Middle: (Betrayal / Internal Dilemma) Camila struggles with this image of Joaquin, torn between love and her horror at his actions
• Ending: (Uncertainty) Camila is in doubt, relationship teetering on edge
Scene 24:
INT. VEGA HOME – DAY
Camila confronts Joaquin, revealing her past with Arturo
• Beginning: (Character Changes Radically) Joaquin learns of Camila’s past with Arturo – they were engaged to be married when he started engaging in violence with the cartel. She broke it off
• Middle: (Misinterpretation / Betrayal) Joaquin explains the details Arturo left out about Luis. He grapples with feelings of betrayal and deception
• Ending: (Internal Dilemma / Major Twist) Camila defends Arturo’s actions as protective
Scene 25:
INT. COMPOUND – DAY
Points tally. Joaquin’s transformation to violence causes Dante to take drastic measures.
• Beginning: (Suspense) Rival competitors part ways creating face off w/Dante after Joaquin killed his brother
• Middle: (Surprise) First time Rodrigo applauds Joaquin, awards him a chunk of points
• Ending: (Mislead / Cliffhanger) Dante orders his men to stop Joaquin
Scene 26:
INT. VEGA RESIDENCE – DAY
Isabel snoops on her father’s computer. Sees he’s been tracking Arturo.
• Beginning: (Setting / Dilemma) Isabel in her father’s computer, to snoop or not
• Middle: (Surprise) Joaquin has been tracking Arturo
• Ending: (Uncertainty) What will she do with the knowledge?
Scene 27:
EXT. COMPOUND – NIGHT
Dante offers Joaquin a deal to quit the competition in exchange for his life and a role in the cartel – needs his brain to develop international strategy and agreements.
• Beginning: (Suspense) Dante’s men corner Joaquin as he tries to evade them
• Middle: (External Dilemma) Offers him the deal w/ a 24-hour decision deadline
• Ending: (Internal Dilemma) Scene closes on Joaquin’s contemplative face
Scene 28:
EXT. / INT. WAREHOUSE – NIGHT
Isabel overhears threats against her father, but is discovered.
• Beginning: (Internal + External Dilemma) Bodyguard says to stay in the car
• Middle: (Suspense / Major Twist) She sneaks into the warehouse / overhears Arturo discussing Dante’s offer to Joaquin and that it can’t happen
• Ending: (Cliffhanger) She’s spotted, escapes, directly in the path of a corrupt Federale
Scene 29:
INT. CAR – NIGHT
The Federale drives her away, her situation growing increasingly perilous.
• Beginning: (Misinterpretation) Believes the Federale is going to help her
• Middle: (Suspense) Realizes he’s not, tries to escape, locked in, panic rising
• Ending: (Betrayal / Cliffhanger) Law enforcement is going to kill her
Scene 30:
INT. VEGA RESIDENCE – NIGHT
The Federale tells Joaquin and Camila their daughter is dead.
• Beginning: (Superior Position / Suspense) As Joaquin shares his dilemma with his wife, the Federale interrupts, delivering the devastating news of Camila
• Middle: (Internal Dilemma / Major Twist) Joaquin struggles between outright denial and the chilling possibility it may be true
• Ending: (Internal + External Dilemma) The Federale tells a concocted story of how she died, but Joaquin is skeptical
Scene 31:
EXT. CEMETERY – DAY
At Isabel’s funeral, sniper fire reigns down. Joaquin narrowly avoids assassination.
• Beginning: (Intrigue) Arturo whispers to Camila, sowing seeds about Dante’s involvement in Isabel’s death. Joaquin tells Dante no deal.
• Middle: (Major Twist / Interesting Setting) As Joaquin approaches the coffin, sniper shots ring out, forcing him to dive for cover
• Ending: (Cliffhanger) Joaquin realizes Arturo might be orchestrating this
Scene 32:
INT. VEGA RESIDENCE – DAY
Joaquin reviews surveillance, discovering the truth behind Isabel’s fate.
• Beginning: (Superior Position) Joaquin watches the footage, piecing together the events leading to his daughter’s death
• Middle: (Reveal) Sees her leave Arturo’s facility and drive away with the Federale, the one in which Arturo paid off prior
• Ending: (Cliffhanger) What is Joaquin going to do?
Scene 33:
INT. TUNNELS / FEDERALE’S HOUSE – DAY
Joaquin kills the Federale, crossing another moral line.
• Beginning: (Intrigue) Sneaks through the tunnels, infiltrates Federale’s home
• Middle: (External + Internal Dilemma) Torn between justice and vengeance
• Ending: (Character Changes Radically) Executes the Federale, solidifying descent into the cartel’s dark world
Scene 34:
INT. COMPOUND – DAY
Joaquin presents the Federale’s head at the points tally.
• Beginning: (Uncomfortable Moment) Joaquin throws the head on the table
• Middle: (Character Changes Radically) Stares down Arturo and Dante, his eyes burning with vengeance and purpose
• Ending: (Uncertainty) The room is silent as Joaquin’s challenge hangs in the air, everyone realizing he is now a formidable contender
Scene 35:
EXT. CENTER OF TOWN – DAY
Day of the Dead celebration turns into a reflection on personal losses.
• Beginning: (Mislead) Joaquin bonding with Rodrigo over their losses, but he says he can’t protect him from rival competitors
• Middle: (Character Changes Radically) Tomas comes to understand his father’s violent world, aligning his desire for revenge with his father’s cause
• Ending: (Suspense) Joaquin dissuades Tomas from acting rashly, fearing a cycle of violence that could claim his son
Scene 36:
EXT. BEACH – DAY
Arturo’s team kidnaps American celebrities’ and billionaires’ kids.
• Beginning: (Mislead) Beach day, fun in the sun
• Middle: (Major Twist) Chaos as gunmen storm, executing bodyguards, seizing children
• Ending: (Reveal) The children are taken away, their fate uncertain, as Arturo satisfied, heads back to town for Day of the Dead
Scene 37:
EXT. CENTER OF TOWN – DAY
Rival cartel seeks revenge for their lab being blown up and attacks at Day of the Dead with Arturo betraying Joaquin.
• Beginning: (Interesting Setting / Mislead) Day of the Dead. Rodrigo ordered a moratorium on competition activity during the sacred day
• Middle: (Suspense) Rival cartel arrive guns blazing
• Ending: (Betrayal) Arturo sets Joaquin up and he’s almost killed again
Scene 38:
INT. Hospital – Day
Santiago tells Joaquin he and community members want to work for him, he needs protection to win. Joaquin accepts.
• Beginning: (Suspense) Santiago enters Joaquin’s hospital room with weapons
• Middle: (Major Twist) Santiago and a team want to protect Joaquin
• Ending: (Cliffhanger) Gives Joaquin a gun, he’s the #1 target now of rivals
Scene 39:
INT. WAREHOUSE / INT. HOSPITAL – DAY
Arturo tortures the kids while videotaping them for ransom. Joaquin zooms in on his computer examining the video. As he does this the Commissioner for US Customs and Border Protection, Maritza, threatens the kidnappers with military action.
• Beginning: (Uncomfortable Moment) Torture of the kids
• Middle: (Character Changes Radically / Internal Dilemma) Joaquin is overwhelmed by anger and disgust, then calms down and zooms in on the video
• Ending: (Suspense) Maritza threatens that if kids are not immediately returned unharmed, they will send military
Scene 40:
EXT. WAREHOUSE DISTRICT – NIGHT
Joaquin searches the district, which leads to a perilous chase. Santiago comes to his rescue.
• Beginning: (Intrigue) What is he looking for?
• Middle: (Suspense) He’s spotted and pursued
• Ending: (Uncertainty) Treacherous until Santiago comes to the rescue
Scene 41:
INT. TUNNELS / SANTIAGO’S RESTAURANT BACK ROOM – NIGHT
Joaquin prepares for a major assault and enlists Santiago’s help.
• Beginning: (Mislead) Joaquin enters tunnels empty-handed
• Middle: (Reveal / Surprise) Arrives at Santiago’s with night vision goggles, military uniforms, weapons, money to mail to Brayden’s wife and children, and a stack of letters which he asks Santiago to overnight one each day from outside of cartel territory.
• Ending: (Intrigue / Cliffhanger) If letters get into the wrong hands, he’ll be killed
Scene 42:
INT. COMPOUND – DAY
A shocking turn of events as the Mexican President is assassinated on live TV.
• Beginning: (Interesting Setting + Surprise) Broadcast starts as a standard warning to the US in response to Maritza’s warning, but with a hint of duress
• Middle: (Major Twist) As the Mexican President finishes his speech, Dante assassinates him, declaring his power and fearlessness
• Ending: (Uncertainty) Dangerous new era
Scene 43:
INT. COMPOUND – DAY
Points tally. Arturo asks if killing celebrity kids or using them as mules will get him more points. While this debate is going on, Santiago and his team free the hostages.
• Beginning: (Mislead) Rodrigo’s illness has progressed. Arturo is overconfident, gaining points for drawing international attention and receiving half the ransom already. Dante earns points for developing a new drug.
• Middle: (Character Changes) Santiago rescues the hostages and flips the script.
• Ending: (Suspense) Children are safe, but danger for Joaquin is far from over
Scene 44:
INT. VEGA RESIDENCE – NIGHT
Joaquin prepares for a final, dangerous mission, leaving his family behind.
• Beginning: (Major Twist / Character Changes Radically) Joaquin packs (notebook, explosives) for a mission that could be his last, filled with resolve and sorrow
• Middle: (Intrigue + Mystery) Won’t tell them where or what he’s doing and what is in the notebook, but says he’s giving Rodrigo what he wants. Implores Camila and Tomas to stay safe, away from Arturo, his voice thick with emotion
• Ending: (Cliffhanger) What is he going to do and will he succeed?
Scene 45:
EXT. / INT. VEGA RESIDENCE – NIGHT
Arturo learns Joaquin freed the hostages. He confronts Camila, searching for Joaquin.
• Beginning: (Suspense) Knocks on the door, his intentions dangerous
• Middle: (Misinterpretation / Betrayal) Camila stalls. 1st he believes its her kindness, then realizes she’s stalling.
• Ending: (Uncertainty) Arturo’s anger grows, anxiety about what he’s going to do
Scene 46:
EXT. COMPOUND – NIGHT
Arturo orders a manhunt in the tunnels, but Joaquin has sabotaged the surveillance.
• Beginning: (Suspense) Arturo mobilizes his men
• Middle: (Superior Position) Joaquin’s foresight leaves Arturo blind to traps
• Ending: (Character Changes Radically) Arturo’s frustration mounts as he realizes Joaquin is always one step ahead
Scene 47:
INT. TUNNELS – DAY
Joaquin faces a deadly trap by Arturo’s men, but escapes.
• Beginning: (Suspense) Seemingly outgunned and outmaneuvered
• Middle: (Surprise) With a well-placed explosive he goes above tunnel
• Ending: (Major Twist) His phone is dead. Must get to the next tunnel entrance
Scene 48:
INT. COMPOUND – DAY
Points tally. Rodrigo tightens the deadline to 72-hours. Joaquin at a severe disadvantage.
• Beginning: (Character Changes Radically) On his deathbed and confused, Rodrigo wants to know where his “son” Joaquin is
• Middle: (Major Twist / Uncertainty) Joaquin’s chances slip away
• Ending: (Cliffhanger) Joaquin must now race against time and his enemies to claim victory or face destruction
Scene 49:
EXT. OUTSKIRTS OF TOWN – DAY
Arturo enlists Dante and they set an ambush for Joaquin.
• Beginning: (Superior Position) Coordinates a massive offensive
• Middle: (Major Twist) Forces converge, setting the stage for confrontation
• Ending: (Cliffhanger) Joaquin knows it’s a trap, no way he can escape this
Scene 50:
INT. TUNNEL – DAY
Final stand involves a risky explosion at a critical juncture.
• Beginning: (Intrigue / Misinterpretation) Sets charges at a tunnel intersection, facing imminent capture
• Middle: (Suspense) Ensnares them, he seemingly sets it off too early
• Ending: (Uncertainty) Did he die?
Scene 51:
INT. VEGA RESIDENCE – DAY
Arturo notifies Camila her husband his dead, attempting to wield his power over her.
• Beginning: (Betrayal) Grim news. Arturo trying to sway Camila and her son to come live with him, he’ll provide for them and protect them
• Middle: (Internal Dilemma) Heartbroken yet skeptical, she struggles w/the news
• Ending: (Suspense) Unable to reach Joaquin, she faces an agonizing decision, surrounded by her enemies
Scene 52:
EXT. SANTIAGO’S RESTAURANT – DAY
Camila discovers Santiago’s restaurant overrun by Arturo’s men and Santiago is missing. She’s losing her support system.
• Beginning: (Interesting Setting) The restaurant is unusually quiet
• Middle: (Uncomfortable Moment / Major Twist) Discovers the violent struggle; Arturo’s men lurk, question her about Joaquin’s whereabouts
• Ending: (Uncertainty) Left without support, Camila feels trapped
Scene 53:
EXT. TUNNEL IN US – DAY
Joaquin emerges from the tunnel in the US only to be captured by immigration.
• Beginning: (Surprise) Crawls out the tunnel, only to be greeted by border patrol agents
• Middle: (Internal Dilemma) Asks for a phone, they refuse
• Ending: (Cliffhanger / Mislead) Taken to an immigration detention center
Scene 54:
INT. US IMMIGRATION DETENTION CENTER – DAY
Joaquin is flagged on a terror watch list, struggles to communicate his intentions to immigration officials.
• Beginning: (Intrigue) Asks about his notebook
• Middle: (Reveal / Suspense) Demands to see Maritza. Time is ticking.
• Ending: (Uncertainty) Will she or won’t she come?
Scene 55:
INT. ARTURO’S RESIDENCE – DAY
Tomas storms out, not ok with this arrangement. Arturo consummates the relationship with Camila, but slips, says how incredible she looked in the bathtub when she first got to the compound.
• Beginning: (Suspense) Tomas wants to kill Arturo, but Camila reminds him of his father’s wishes
• Middle: (Misinterpretation) Arturo assures her he loves her, gets her to open up
• Ending: (Reveal / Betrayal) He reveals details of her in the bathtub and she realizes the extent of his deceit. She’s emotionally shattered as he consummates the relationship.
Scene 56:
INT. IMMIGRATION DETENTION CENTER – DAY
Maritza comes to speak to Joaquin as he tries to enlist her help with his plan.
• Beginning: (Suspense / Uncomfortable Moment) Maritza enters interrogation room, her face unreadable as she sits across from Joaquin
• Middle: (Intrigue) He asks if she received his letters, pleads his case for her to read the contents of his notebook
• Ending: (Internal Dilemma / Uncertainty) Should Maritza trust this guy? Leaves w/o any indication of her intentions
Scene 57:
EXT. IMMIGRATION DETENTION CENTER – DAY
Joaquin is escorted to another building by Maritza and a guard. An explosion…
• Beginning: (Suspense) Where are they taking him? He subtly checks his surroundings
• Middle: (Major Twist) An explosion…
• Ending: (Cliffhanger) Amidst the smoke and confusion, his fate is unclear
Scene 58:
INT. COMPOUND – DAY
Joaquin returns just in time to confront his enemies in a dramatic showdown.
• Beginning: (Surprise / Reveal) Joaquin bursts in. Tomas blurts out what has happened, exposing Arturo’s manipulations – he set it all in motion, the competition, Joaquin’s family coming was all his idea, it was always about Camila.
• Middle: (Major Twist) Joaquin shows evidence of killing Maritza – all over the news and he’s the definitive suspect. Her death is what Rodrigo wanted most. Joaquin wins the competition.
• Ending: (Character Changes Radically / Cliffhanger) Rodrigo hands Joaquin his gun and asks him to put him out of his misery. Instead, Joaquin turns the gun on Dante, kills him as an explosion outside distracts everyone but Joaquin. He fires at Arturo, who flees.
Scene 59:
EXT. COMPOUND – DAY
Joaquin chases Arturo through the compound that Joaquin had pre-rigged with explosives and traps.
• Beginning: (Suspense) Navigate through traps and explosives
• Middle: (Surprise) Santiago joins the fight, but gets wounded.
• Ending: (Major Twist) Tomas shows up and the distraction almost costs Joaquin his life, but instead Tomas shoots and kills Arturo
Scene 60:
INT. COMPOUND – DAY
Maritza comes out of the shadows and reveals she is alive to the dying Rodrigo, as she and Joaquin prepare to face new challenges.
• Beginning: (Reveal) As Rodrigo lies dying, Maritza steps out of the shadows
• Middle: (Character Changes Radically / Betrayal) She taunts Rodrigo with her survival and alliance with Joaquin, before killing him, marking the end of his era
• Ending: (Major Twist) Joaquin, now allied with Maritza, prepares to take control of the cartel, facing a challenging new future as they battle to dismantle the cartels from within
Scene 61:
INT. COMPOUND – DAY
A remorseful Camila is forgiven by Joaquin as they reconcile.
• Beginning: (Superior Position) Camila apologizes but doesn’t say what she did
• Middle: (Betrayal) Knowing, Joaquin embraces her, forgiving
• Ending: (Intrigue) Together they look towards a future free from the shadows of Arturo, Dante, and Rodrigo, contemplating a new direction for the cartel and their lives

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Scene Requirements

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer who has many successful movies produced and an Oscar on the mantel.
What I learned doing this assignment is I overwhelmed AI with too much information and it rewrote my story plot. I had an interesting conversation with AI though about why it rewrote it and learned a few things.

Scene 1
• Slugline: EXT. FARMHOUSE – DAY
• Description: Joaquin, a scout for the cartel, is dealing with a typical family issue while he races to a farmhouse.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Starts with family normalcy, ends with Joaquin racing to a cartel-related task.
o Essence: Introduce Joaquin’s dual life, hint at stakes.
o Conflict: Balancing family issues with urgent cartel work.
o Subtext: Joaquin’s desire for a normal life is disrupted by cartel demands.
o Hope/Fear: Hope for a quick resolution, fear of family consequences.
Scene 2
• Slugline: INT. FARMHOUSE – DAY
• Description: It’s a drug lab. He alerts the workers the police are coming. As they flee the lab, he blows up the evidence. Risks his life to help an elderly worker to his car.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Starts with a drug lab operation, ends with its destruction and a moral choice.
o Essence: Show Joaquin’s quick thinking and moral compass.
o Conflict: Save cartel equipment vs. save people.
o Subtext: Joaquin's conflicted loyalty and moral dilemmas.
o Hope/Fear: Hope to avoid capture; fear of being caught by police.
Scene 3
• Slugline: INT. NEW DRUG LAB – DAY
• Description: Joaquin’s friend, Brayden, tells him he’s the one who tipped off the police so they can get out of the cartel. Dante, #2 in the cartel, is at the new drug lab. Brayden is sure he knows. Joaquin gives him well-meaning, but bad advice to keep his head down. Dante kills Brayden, orders Joaquin into his jeep.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Starts with tension, ends with Brayden’s death and Joaquin's capture.
o Essence: Show the stakes of cartel betrayal.
o Conflict: Misplaced trust in Joaquin’s advice leads to fatal consequences.
o Subtext: Joaquin’s fear and guilt over Brayden's fate.
o Hope/Fear: Hope to survive; fear of further punishment.
Scene 4
• Slugline: EXT. OPEN MEXICAN ROAD – DAY
• Description: Inciting Incident: Dante withholds where they’re going and why as another jeep, driven by Arturo, #3 in the cartel, joins them on the road. Joaquin’s family is in the 2nd jeep.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Starts with confusion, ends with mounting dread.
o Essence: Set up the inciting incident and personal stakes.
o Conflict: Uncertainty and fear for his family’s safety.
o Subtext: Power dynamics and control within the cartel.
o Hope/Fear: Hope for family's safety; fear of them being used as leverage.
Scene 5
• Slugline: EXT. RODRIGO’S COMPOUND – DAY
• Description: At the compound dropoff, Arturo helps Camila and Isabel out of the jeep. Arturo tells Dante that Tomas is a sharpshooter, the girl is a livewire – a lot like her mother.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Starts with arrival, ends with tension between Arturo and Joaquin.
o Essence: Introduce the key characters and underline their dynamics.
o Conflict: Subtle rivalry between Arturo and Joaquin.
o Subtext: Arturo's hidden vendetta against Joaquin.
o Hope/Fear: Hope for a peaceful meeting; fear of hidden threats.
Scene 6
• Slugline: INT. COMPOUND – NIGHT
• Description: Rodrigo, the kingpin announces he is dying and kicking off a savage competition for his succession. A courier drops off an anonymous note to Joaquin that says his family will suffer if he doesn’t participate.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Starts with announcement, ends with threat.
o Essence: Establish the stakes of the competition.
o Conflict: Compelled to participate to protect family v. desire to stay out of it.
o Subtext: Manipulation and Joaquin's reluctant involvement.
o Hope/Fear: Hope to avoid competition; fear for family’s safety.
Scene 7
• Slugline: INT. RODRIGO’S SITTING ROOM – NIGHT
• Description: Rodrigo wants Joaquin to stay until he dies. Mention of Rodrigo’s deceased son and Joaquin’s father who was Rodrigo’s #2 and died while protecting the kingpin. Rodrigo didn’t send the threatening note. Who did?
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Starts with command, ends with suspicion.
o Essence: Build personal connection and raise suspicions.
o Conflict: Loyalty to Rodrigo vs. suspicion of foul play.
o Subtext: Hidden motives and Joaquin's mistrust.
o Hope/Fear: Hope for insight; fear of deeper involvement.
Scene 8
• Slugline: INT. VEGA TEMPORARY RESIDENCE – NIGHT
• Description: Anonymous figure sneaks into the house, watches Camila in the bathtub, leaves a letter for Isabel “promising” they’ll be together when he wins the competition.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Starts with intrusion, ends with threat.
o Essence: Establish personal threats to Joaquin’s family.
o Conflict: Safety of family vs. unseen danger.
o Subtext: Hidden dangers and personal vendettas.
o Hope/Fear: Hope for safety; fear of the stalker’s intentions.
Scene 9
• Slugline: INT. VEGA RESIDENCE / TUNNELS – NIGHT
• Description: Joaquin races into the tunnels, that can be accessed through a trapdoor in their hallway, that he knew about from his childhood. Dante is down there as well as C4.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Starts with no knowledge, ends with a suspect.
o Essence: Identify a suspect and availability of explosive material.
o Conflict: Navigating the tunnels vs. Dante’s presence.
o Subtext: Hidden routes and clandestine activities.
o Hope/Fear: Hope for safe passage; fear of confrontation with Dante.
Scene 10
• Slugline: EXT. COMPOUND – DAY
• Description: At breakfast, Joaquin learns he’s been under Rodrigo’s protection due to his father’s loyalty. Isabel lashes out at Rodrigo and Joaquin tries to wriggle out of them staying.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Starts with revelation, ends with conflict.
o Essence: Reveal personal history and build tension.
o Conflict: Gratefulness for protection vs. desire to leave.
o Subtext: Power dynamics and family tension.
o Hope/Fear: Hope to leave safely; fear of being trapped.
Scene 11
• Slugline: EXT. / INT. RESTAURANT – DAY
• Description: Arturo takes Joaquin under his wing, teaching him how to be violent. Give Santiago a beat down for being late on his Internet payment.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Starts with mentoring, ends with violence.
o Essence: Show Arturo’s influence and Joaquin’s struggle.
o Conflict: Learning violence vs. maintaining morals.
o Subtext: Arturo’s manipulation and Joaquin’s resistance.
o Hope/Fear: Hope to avoid violence; fear of moral compromise.
Scene 12
• Slugline: EXT. CAMPAIGN RALLY – DAY
• Description: Dante shoots up the rally, assassinates the gubernatorial candidate. While under fire, Joaquin helps the injured. Arturo brings him a baseball bat to use the next day for their shakedowns.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Starts with assassination, ends with moral dilemma.
o Essence: Show lengths Dante will go to win the competition and Joaquin’s inner conflict.
o Conflict: Helping the injured vs. cartel violence.
o Subtext: Joaquin’s reluctance and moral struggle.
o Hope/Fear: Hope to maintain integrity; fear of being corrupted.
Scene 13
• Slugline: EXT. SCHOOL – DAY
• Description: TP 1: Attempted kidnapping of Isabel. Arturo saves her and warns Camila he suspects Dante. Arturo offers a bodyguard to protect Isabel.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Starts with danger, ends with uneasy alliance.
o Essence: Establish Arturo’s deceptive heroism.
o Conflict: Trusting Arturo vs. fearing for Isabel.
o Subtext: Arturo’s ulterior motives and manipulation.
o Hope/Fear: Hope for Isabel’s safety; fear of hidden threats.
Scene 14
• Slugline: INT. RIVAL DRUG LAB – NIGHT
• Description: Using heat sensors to make sure it is empty, a cloaked figure blows up a rival drug lab.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Starts with cautious preparation, ends with the destruction of the drug lab.
o Essence: Joaquin's entry into the competition, asserting his commitment.
o Conflict: Internal conflict between his moral code and the actions required by the contest.
o Subtext: Struggles with the weight of his actions, feeling he is becoming what he despises.
o Hope/Fear: Hope that this action will protect his family, fear that he's losing his humanity.
Scene 15
• Slugline: INT. COMPOUND – DAY
• Description: Points tally. Dante brings the heads of the gubernatorial candidate and competitors, earning a lot of points. Joaquin announces he blew up the lab and is entering the competition.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Joaquin publicly declares his participation in the competition.
o Essence: Joaquin is developing courage against Dante’s ruthlessness.
o Conflict: Between Joaquin’s reluctance and the necessity to act.
o Subtext: Joaquin’s declaration is both a statement of power and a desperate plea for survival.
o Hope/Fear: Hope that Joaquin can navigate the competition without further bloodshed, fear of what Dante might do in retaliation.
Scene 16
• Slugline: INT. VEGA RESIDENCE – DAY
• Description: Camila is furious Joaquin entered the competition, throws his notebook across the room. Says he can never win, that’s not the man she married.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Starts with tension and ends with despair and disconnection between Joaquin and Camila.
o Essence: The personal cost of Joaquin’s decisions on his marriage.
o Conflict: Joaquin’s decision to enter the competition versus Camila’s expectations of him.
o Subtext: Camila’s fear and disillusionment, and Joaquin’s conflict between his role as a husband and protector.
o Hope/Fear: Hope that Joaquin can reassure Camila, fear that this might drive a wedge between them.
Scene 17
• Slugline: EXT. COMPOUND SHOOTING RANGE – DAY
• Description: Joaquin tries to earn points without bloodshed – it’s failing to earn him many points.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: His strategy is shown to be ineffective in a ruthless environment.
o Essence: Struggle to maintain his morality in an immoral competition.
o Conflict: Joaquin's ideals against the harsh reality of the cartel's violent culture.
o Subtext: Ineffectiveness in the competition mirrors his internal conflict about participating.
o Hope/Fear: Hope that Joaquin can find another way to earn points, fear that he'll be pushed towards violence.
Scene 18
• Slugline: INT. VEGA RESIDENCE – DAY
• Description: On drone footage, Joaquin sees a payoff from Arturo to a cop. Tomas is watching a cartel recruiting video. In a heated argument, Joaquin reveals that his father was killed because he disobeyed him and joined the cartel, causing his father to be distracted.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Joaquin’s past is fully revealed, escalating the tension within his family.
o Essence: Exploring the generational impact of cartel involvement on Joaquin's family.
o Conflict: Joaquin’s revelation about his father to Tomas.
o Subtext: Joaquin’s fear of repeating his father’s mistakes with his own son.
o Hope/Fear: Hope that understanding the past may deter Tomas from idolizing the cartel, fear it may already be too late.
Scene 19
• Slugline: EXT. / INT. DANTE’S LAIR – DAY
• Description: Joaquin sneaks into Dante’s lair to plant surveillance equipment. Packing fentanyl in crutches. Joaquin finds a file with his name on it. Gets an alert from his residence, which alerts Dante’s team someone is there. Joaquin narrowly escapes.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Joaquin enters cautiously and escapes amid danger.
o Essence: Proactive steps to protect himself and gather intelligence.
o Conflict: The immediate danger of being caught by Dante’s men.
o Subtext: Discovery of the file signifies Dante’s close watch and plans against him.
o Hope/Fear: Hope that he gathers useful intelligence, fear of being caught and killed.
Scene 20
• Slugline: EXT. TOWN – DAY
• Description: Joaquin’s family wasn’t home. Flowers and lingerie in Isabel’s room – a gift for our upcoming wedding night.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Discovery of the unsettling gifts, escalating tension.
o Essence: The personal threat to Joaquin's family becomes chillingly intimate.
o Conflict: The intrusion into personal life and the implied threat to Isabel.
o Subtext: Gifts symbolize a menacing claim and foreshadow potential violence.
o Hope/Fear: Hope that Isabel remains safe, fear of what the sender might do.
Scene 21
• Slugline: INT. RODRIGO’S SON’S ROOM IN COMPOUND – DAY
• Description: The room is a shrine with articles about his son’s killer, the director of US border patrol, Maritza. Joaquin tells Rodrigo they’re related, which is not true. Bonds with Rodrigo over wanting to learn everything about how to run the cartel.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Joaquin uses deception to gain Rodrigo’s trust.
o Essence: Joaquin's strategic maneuvering within the cartel's power structure.
o Conflict: Rodrigo’s questioning of Joaquin’s lie.
o Subtext: Joaquin’s lie reflects his desperation and willingness to manipulate.
o Hope/Fear: Hope that the lie solidifies his standing, fear it could backfire.
Scene 22
• Slugline: EXT. TOWN – DAY
• Description: Arturo sets up Luis to go after Isabel, then alerts Joaquin she is at a dangerous party.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Joaquin learns of Isabel’s danger and rushes to help.
o Essence: Arturo manipulating events to push Joaquin to kill a man.
o Conflict: Joaquin’s race against time to save Isabel.
o Subtext: Arturo’s actions hint at a deeper scheme against Joaquin.
o Hope/Fear: Hope that Joaquin reaches Isabel in time, fear of what Luis might do.
Scene 23
• Slugline: EXT. / INT. EXTRAVAGANT RESIDENTIAL HOME – NIGHT
• Description: Joaquin finds Luis assaulting Isabel and kills him.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Transformation from a reluctant participant to taking decisive action.
o Essence: Joaquin’s crossing a moral line to protect his family.
o Conflict: Direct physical confrontation with Luis.
o Subtext: Joaquin’s action marks a significant moral compromise and a deepening of his entanglement in the cartel’s violent world.
o Hope/Fear: Hope that this act saves Isabel, fear of the consequences of murder.
Scene 24
• Slugline: EXT. STEPS OUTSIDE THE COMPOUND – MORNING
• Description: Arturo reveals to Camila that Joaquin killed a man.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Camila confronts the reality of Joaquin's actions.
o Essence: The erosion of the ideal image Camila held of Joaquin.
o Conflict: Camila's grappling with Joaquin's increasingly dark actions.
o Subtext: Arturo’s revelation is calculated to drive a wedge between Joaquin and Camila.
o Hope/Fear: Hope that Camila understands and forgives Joaquin, fear that it destroys their relationship.
Scene 25:
• Slugline: INT. VEGA HOME – DAY
• Description: Joaquin questions why Arturo would rush to tell her. Camila reveals that she and Arturo were engaged and he’s done nothing but protect them.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Realization of Arturo's past with Camila and his manipulations.
o Essence: Increasing the complexity of relationships and loyalties.
o Conflict: Joaquin's feelings of betrayal and questions of truth.
o Subtext: Camila’s past with Arturo complicates her current feelings and loyalty.
o Hope/Fear: Hope that Joaquin can navigate this revelation wisely, fear that it fuels further conflict.
Scene 26:
• Slugline: INT. COMPOUND – DAY
• Description: Joaquin earns points for killing Luis. Dante tells his guys to stop Joaquin from leaving.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Joaquin's growing influence and Dante’s response.
o Essence: Joaquin’s ascension within the competition’s ranks.
o Conflict: Over Joaquin’s killing of Dante’s brother.
o Subtext: Dante’s fear of Joaquin’s rising power and potential threat.
o Hope/Fear: Hope Joaquin can maintain momentum, fear of Dante’s retaliation.
Scene 27:
• Slugline: INT. VEGA RESIDENCE – DAY
• Description: Isabel snoops on her father’s computer. Sees he’s been tracking Arturo.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Discovers evidence of her father’s distrust of Arturo.
o Essence: Set up of Isabel’s confrontation with Arturo.
o Conflict: Realization of the depth of her father’s entanglement in cartel activities.
o Subtext: Isabel is going to do something about her stalker.
o Hope/Fear: Hope that Isabel uses this information wisely, fear of the implications for her safety.
Scene 28
• Slugline: EXT. COMPOUND – NIGHT
• Description: Dante corners Joaquin. Offers his life if he drops out of the competition and work for him – needs his brain to develop international strategy and agreements.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Joaquin is offered a lifeline that requires a significant compromise.
o Essence: A critical decision point for Joaquin, blending opportunity and threat.
o Conflict: Consideration of Dante’s offer versus his own plans and safety.
o Subtext: Offer is both an acknowledgment of Joaquin’s value and a strategic move to neutralize him as a threat.
o Hope/Fear: Hope that Joaquin finds a safer path, fear that accepting Dante's offer means deeper involvement in cartel activities.
Scene 29
• Slugline: EXT. / INT. WAREHOUSE – NIGHT
• Description: Isabel’s bodyguard stops at a warehouse and tells her to stay in the care. She disobeys and overhears Arturo talking about killing her dad. She’s spotted, runs out – right into the corrupt Federale.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: From safety to danger.
o Essence: Isabel is in serious danger.
o Conflict: Isabel versus Arturo and the corrupt Federale.
o Subtext: He can’t let her live.
o Hope/Fear: Hope that she’ll get away or the Federale will have some morals, afraid that he’s deep in with the cartel.
Scene 30
• Slugline: INT. CAR – NIGHT
• Description: The Federale drives her away. The wrong way.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: From Isabel thinking she’s safe to realizing she’s not.
o Essence: She’s in trouble.
o Conflict: Isabel trying to get out of the car, but the locks are controlled.
o Subtext: This is the end for her.
o Hope/Fear: Hope that her father sees her on surveillance, fear that the Federale is going to kill her.
Scene 31
• Slugline: INT. VEGA RESIDENCE – NIGHT
• Description: The Federale tells Joaquin and Camila their daughter is dead.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: From a bonding dinner to the worst dread.
o Essence: The cartel killed Isabel.
o Conflict: Joaquin doesn’t believe the Federale, but doesn’t want to get them all killed as well.
o Subtext: If they thought Joaquin was rising up before, just wait!
o Hope/Fear: Hope that they find her alive, fear that they really did kill her.
Scene 32
• Slugline: EXT. CEMETERY – DAY
• Description: At the funeral, Arturo convinces Camila that Dante killed her in retaliation for his brother’s death. Sniper fire reigns down, Joaquin narrowly avoids assassination.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: From sadness over Isabel to terror.
o Essence: Joaquin is no longer safe anywhere in public.
o Conflict: Joaquin doesn’t want Arturo there to running for their lives.
o Subtext: Arturo is the one who orchestrated the snipers.
o Hope/Fear: Hope no one else will be killed, fear this is not the end of it.
Scene 33
• Slugline: INT. VEGA RESIDENCE – DAY
• Description: Joaquin searches surveillance equipment and finds his daughter running into the Federale. Goes back to the surveillance of the payoff from Arturo.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Suspicions of who killed his daughter to knowing who was behind it.
o Essence: Arturo was behind the killing of his daughter.
o Conflict: Joaquin versus his daughter’s killers.
o Subtext: He’s going after them.
o Hope/Fear: Hope he kills them both, fear his family is in more danger.
Scene 34
• Slugline: INT. TUNNELS / FEDERALE’S HOUSE – DAY
• Description: Joaquin sneaks through tunnels to the Federale’s house and kills him.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: From Joaquin only killing in self-defense to proactive murder.
o Essence: Joaquin has crossed another line that he can’t come back from.
o Conflict: Physical to the death against the Federale.
o Subtext: If it’s a fight they want, they’ve got it and he’s doing it the cartel way.
o Hope/Fear: Hope he kills him but don’t want him to cross the line, fear it’s the only way.
Scene 35
• Slugline: INT. COMPOUND – DAY
• Description: Joaquin brings the Federale’s head to the points tally.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: From a Dante owning the points tallies to Joaquin.
o Essence:
o Conflict: Joaquin letting Arturo know he knows, and putting Dante on notice that he’s going to battle him for the win.
o Subtext: Joaquin is coming for them too.
o Hope/Fear: Hope he puts the fear in them, fear he’s putting a bigger target on his back.
Scene 36
• Slugline: EXT. CENTER OF TOWN – DAY
• Description: Day of the Dead. Rodrigo and Joaquin bond over the deaths of their children. Then Tomas acknowledges he understands his father’s position, he wants revenge against the cartel that killed his sister. Joaquin warns him that’s how Isabel was killed.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: From honoring the dead to fear there will be another one.
o Essence: Joaquin strengthening his bonds with Rodrigo and Tomas.
o Conflict: Joaquin and his family against the cartel.
o Subtext: Blames Rodrigo for putting all of this in motion, killing his daughter.
o Hope/Fear: Hope it’s a peaceful day and Tomas listens, fear he won’t.
Scene 37
• Slugline: EXT. BEACH – DAY
• Description: Arturo’s team kidnaps American celebrities’ kids, kills their bodyguards.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: From a fun day on the beach to being kidnapped.
o Essence: Arturo is going for big points.
o Conflict: The reach of the cartel.
o Subtext: It’s a ransom play.
o Hope/Fear: Hope the kids get away, fear they won’t.
Scene 38
• Slugline: EXT. CENTER OF TOWN – DAY
• Description: Rival cartel seeks revenge for their lab and come to Day of the Dead with guns blazing. Turns into a cartel versus cartel battle. Arturo sets up Joaquin to be killed by the rival cartel.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: From a peaceful day to all out battle and betrayal.
o Essence: Arturo is trying to kill Joaquin and he knows it.
o Conflict: Battle. Arturo sets Joaquin up.
o Subtext: Arturo versus Joaquin is all about Camila.
o Hope/Fear: Hope that Joaquin won’t be killed, fear he will.
Scene 39
• Slugline: Hospital – Day
• Description: Santiago tells Joaquin he and community members want to work for him, he needs protection to win. Joaquin accepts.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: From fear he’s going to be killed in the hospital to protected.
o Essence: He’s winning over the community.
o Conflict: Santiago and team are risking their lives for him.
o Subtext: He now has a realistic chance to win.
o Hope/Fear: Hope he can stay alive, fear they keep coming after him.
Scene 40
• Slugline: INT. WAREHOUSE / INT. HOSPITAL – DAY
• Description: Arturo tortures kids while videotaping them for ransom. Joaquin zooms in on his computer to examine where the kids were tortured.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Arturo is evil to can Joaquin save the kids.
o Essence: Joaquin hasn’t lost his moral compass, he’s just compromised it.
o Conflict: Torture of the children.
o Subtext: Joaquin isn’t just going after points, he’s going after cartel activities.
o Hope/Fear: Hope he can save them, fear he won’t be able to find them.
Scene 41
• Slugline: INT. COMPOUND – NIGHT
• Description: Points tally. Joaquin is way behind. Dante developed a new drug. Arturo is drawing international attention and already has part of the ransom. Maritza is furious and vows to come after the perpetrators.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: From Joaquin surviving the attacks on him to falling way behind in the competition.
o Essence: Is Joaquin going to have to lose his morality completely to win?
o Conflict: The points stacking up against him.
o Subtext: He has a plan.
o Hope/Fear: Hope he can still win, fear he can’t.
Scene 42
• Slugline: EXT. CAR – NIGHT
• Description: Joaquin is searching a warehouse district. Is followed, chased. Santiago comes to his rescue.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: From curiosity of what he’s doing to car chase and escape.
o Essence: He’s looking for the kidnap victims.
o Conflict: Arturo’s men shooting at him.
o Subtext: He found the kids.
o Hope/Fear: Hope he’ll find and rescue the kids, fear he won’t.
Scene 43
• Slugline: INT. TUNNELS – NIGHT
• Description: Joaquin steals money, night vision goggles, C4, military uniforms.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: From arriving home safely to going into the tunnels and stealing.
o Essence: Using cartel stashes against them.
o Conflict: Joaquin putting himself further in their crosshairs.
o Subtext: He’s going to try to save the children.
o Hope/Fear: Hope he succeeds, fear he won’t.
Scene 44
• Slugline: INT. SANTIAGO’S RESTAURANT BACK ROOM – NIGHT
• Description: Joaquin gives Santiago money to mail to Brayden’s wife and children and a stack of letters – overnight one each day from outside of cartel territory – if found, he will be killed.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: From thinking it’s about rescuing the kids to intrigue over the letters.
o Essence: The letters are a big part of his plan.
o Conflict: He’s really putting his trust in Santiago.
o Subtext: Will Santiago betray him?
o Hope/Fear: Hope he won’t, fear he will.
Scene 45
• Slugline: INT. COMPOUND – DAY
• Description: On TV and under duress, the Mexican President warns the US there will be consequences if the come to extract the kidnapped victims. Then he is shot in the head – by Dante.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: A simple statement from the President to his assassination.
o Essence: Dante fears no one and can get to anyone.
o Conflict: The points keep adding up against Joaquin.
o Subtext: Dante is cleaning up Arturo’s mess, risking the US military coming.
o Hope/Fear: Hope the US military comes, fear for Joaquin if they do.
Scene 46
• Slugline: Points tally. Arturo wants to know if killing celebrity kids or using them as mules will get him more points. While this debate is going on, Santiago and his team free the hostages.
• Description:
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: From Arturo and Dante raking up more points to Joaquin stealing points from Arturo.
o Essence: Joaquin is still a good man and is smarter than Arturo and Dante.
o Conflict: Joaquin fighting to win while doing good.
o Subtext: They don’t know what is happening while they argue over points.
o Hope/Fear: Hope the kids get out safely, fear they or Santiago will die.
Scene 47
• Slugline: INT. VEGA RESIDENCE – NIGHT
• Description: Joaquin he’s going to be gone for a little while so he can give Rodrigo what he wants. He fills his backpack with his notebook, explosives, etc. Urges Camila and Tomas to stay away from Arturo while he’s gone. He disappears down the tunnel.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: From victory over saving the children to a secret mission.
o Essence: He’s putting his plan in motion.
o Conflict: He’s going to be alone. And so are they.
o Subtext: Escalating dangers.
o Hope/Fear: Hope he’ll succeed quickly, fear something will happen to them.
Scene 48
• Slugline: EXT. / INT. VEGA RESIDENCE – NIGHT
• Description: Arturo learns Joaquin was behind the freeing of the hostages, not the US military. He’s going after him directly now. Knocks on the door. Camila opens it to buy Joaquin time. Stalls answering his questions. Arturo searches the room for clues of Joaquin’s whereabouts.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Arturo gets angrier, Camila is still protecting her husband.
o Essence: Camila is still choosing Joaquin over Arturo.
o Conflict: Arturo versus Camila.
o Subtext: Camila is stalling to protect Joaquin.
o Hope/Fear: Hope she stalls long enough, fear Arturo will find him.
Scene 49
• Slugline: EXT. COMPOUND – NIGHT
• Description: Arturo orders his men to find Joaquin in the tunnels and kill him. Pull up surveillance, but Joaquin has dismantled it.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Arturo has a beat on Joaquin to him being steps ahead.
o Essence: Set up for a battle between them.
o Conflict: Who will win?
o Subtext: Arturo fears Joaquin will win on both fronts.
o Hope/Fear: Hope Joaquin is long gone, afraid he’s still within reach.
Scene 50
• Slugline: INT. TUNNELS – DAY
• Description: Joaquin is chased, trapped by Arturo’s men. But he escapes.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Peace in the tunnels to a battle.
o Essence: Arturo is holding nothing back now.
o Conflict: Shootout in the tunnels.
o Subtext: Arturo’s scheme has failed.
o Hope/Fear: Hope Joaquin can survive, fear that he won’t.
Scene 51
• Slugline: INT. COMPOUND – DAY
• Description: Points tally. Dante and Arturo gain more points. None for Joaquin. Rodrigo announces he’s moving up the deadline to 72-hours.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: From typical points tally to 72-hour deadline.
o Essence: Joaquin is running out of time.
o Conflict: Time.
o Subtext: Rodrigo is almost dead and there will be another cartel leader soon.
o Hope/Fear: Hope it will be Joaquin, fear he won’t get back in time.
Scene 52
• Slugline: EXT. OUTSKIRTS OF TOWN – DAY
• Description: Arturo tips off the rival cartel. Enlists Dante as well. They’ll all come from different directions.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Arturo’s scheming to Joaquin has no chance.
o Essence: They’re all coming for him.
o Conflict: A lot of firepower.
o Subtext: If he can survive, he still has to win the competition.
o Hope/Fear: Hope he can survive and accomplish the win, fear it’s impossible.
Scene 53
• Slugline: INT. TUNNEL – DAY
• Description: They’re coming at Joaquin three ways. He sets off explosives at a Y. Looks like he doesn’t get past it in time.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Trapped to presumed dead.
o Essence: Kills himself, or does he?
o Conflict: Joaquin is trapped by 3 factions, sets off explosives.
o Subtext: Does he survive? What will happen to his family?
o Hope/Fear: Hope he survives, fear he doesn’t.
Scene 54
• Slugline: INT. VEGA RESIDENCE – DAY
• Description: Arturo notifies Camila her husband his dead. Promises to take care of her, wants her and Tomas to live with him. She tries to contact Joaquin. No response.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Husband dead, but she isn’t convinced.
o Essence: Arturo thinks he’s won and wants to seal it up.
o Conflict: Camila versus Arturo.
o Subtext: Arturo has boxed her into a corner. But is her husband really dead?
o Hope/Fear: Hope she doesn’t agree to his offer, afraid she’ll have no choice.
Scene 55
• Slugline: EXT. SANTIAGO’S RESTAURANT – DAY
• Description: Camila goes to Santiago. Arturo’s men have taken over the restaurant, killing some of his men, Santiago escaped and fled. She’s losing her support system.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: An option for her safety to dead end.
o Essence: Arturo is taking out any other option and opposition.
o Conflict: Arturo’s men.
o Subtext: Santiago isn’t dead, he’s going to be back.
o Hope/Fear: Hope Santiago comes and saves her, fearful he’s gone into hiding.
Scene 56
• Slugline: EXT. TUNNEL IN US – DAY
• Description: Joaquin emerges. Phone doesn’t work. He’s captured by US immigration.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: He’s alive to he’s captured.
o Essence: He’s alive but surely he can’t win now.
o Conflict: Joaquin versus border control.
o Subtext: Why doesn’t he run?
o Hope/Fear: Hope they will just let him go, fearful they won’t.
Scene 57
• Slugline: INT. US IMMIGRATION DETENTION CENTER – DAY
• Description: Joaquin is on the terror watch list. He asks immigration if they gave his notebook to Maritza. They ignore him. Asks for a phone, they won’t give him one.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: In trouble to this is part of his plan.
o Essence: This is his plan, but will immigration cooperate.
o Conflict: Immigration officers don’t seem to be cooperating.
o Subtext: He’s ratting out the cartel.
o Hope/Fear: Hope they believe him and save his family, afraid they won’t.
Scene 58
• Slugline: INT. ARTURO’S RESIDENCE – DAY
• Description: Tomas storms out. Arturo consummates the relationship with Camila. He slips, says something to Camila about how incredible she looked in the bathtub.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Moving into Arturo’s place to knowing he was the stalker.
o Essence: Arturo gets what he wants.
o Conflict: Manipulation by Arturo.
o Subtext: He betrayed her.
o Hope/Fear: Hope she doesn’t go through with it, fear she does.
Scene 59
• Slugline: INT. IMMIGRATION DETENTION CENTER – DAY
• Description: Maritza comes to speak to Joaquin. He asks if she got his letters and the notebook.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Time is ticking to Maritza is listening.
o Essence: Suspense. Will she go along with his plan?
o Conflict: Maritza’s hatred for the cartel, but why would she trust him?
o Subtext: What exactly is his plan?
o Hope/Fear: Hope he can convince her, afraid she won’t do anything.
Scene 60
• Slugline: EXT. IMMIGRATION DETENTION CENTER – DAY
• Description: Joaquin is escorted to another building by Maritza and a guard. An explosion…
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Walk to another building to an explosion.
o Essence: He set this up.
o Conflict: Explosion.
o Subtext: He’s going to kill her.
o Hope/Fear: Hope he comes out of this unscathed and doesn’t kill her, fearful that he has lost his humanity.
Scene 61
• Slugline: INT. COMPOUND – DAY
• Description: Joaquin arrives just in time. Joaquin confronts Arturo – this was all about Camila. Asks Rodrigo whose idea the competition was – Arturo’s. And his family to come – Arturo’s. Joaquin shows evidence that he killed Maritza. Rodrigo crowns Joaquin the winner and hands him a gun to put him out of his misery. Joaquin shoots Rodrigo. Sets off another explosion. Guns down Dante. Arturo runs.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Will this be enough for Joaquin to win to cartel leader intent on killing his rivals.
o Essence: Joaquin wins but he has lost his daughter and his humanity.
o Conflict: Shooting, explosions. Joaquin versus his enemies.
o Subtext: Has Joaquin become just like them. Replacing one brutal leader with another?
o Hope/Fear: Hope he still has some morals, fearful he’s become them.
Scene 62
• Slugline: Joaquin chases Arturo through the compound, pre-rigged with explosives and traps. Santiago joins the fight, but gets injured. Tomas shows up, which distracts Joaquin. Now is trapped by Arturo. Tomas shoots Arturo, saves his dad.
• Description:
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Chasing to trapped to saved.
o Essence: History repeating itself, or not?
o Conflict: Protagonist versus Antagonist.
o Subtext: Joaquin’s wound.
o Hope/Fear: Hope this ends well, fearful it won’t.
Scene 63
• Slugline: INT. COMPOUND – DAY
• Description: Maritza is alive, but only shows her face when it’s just her and Joaquin. She leans down over the dying Rodrigo. Tells him Joaquin could never be related to him and is glad her face will be the last one he sees. As the new cartel leader, Joaquin, with Maritza, are ready to take on the other cartels.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Maritza is alive to now they’re taking on the cartels together.
o Essence: They faked Maritza’s death to dismantle the cartel.
o Conflict: Rub salt in Rodrigo’s wound. Future conflict with the other cartels.
o Subtext: Joaquin double-crossed the cartel.
o Hope/Fear: Hope there is a sequel , fearful Joaquin will once again be in danger.
Scene 64
• Slugline: INT. COMPOUND – DAY
• Description: Camila runs to Joaquin and he forgives his wife.
• Scene Requirements:
o Scene Arc: Camila relieved and apologetic to Joaquin forgiving her.
o Essence: The Vega’s will never have to deal with Arturo, or Dante, or Rodrigo again.
o Conflict: What Arturo did to Camila.
o Subtext: He forgives, but can he forget?
o Hope/Fear: Hope he does, fearful he won’t.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Intriguing Moments

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer who has many successful movies produced and an Oscar on the mantel.
What I learned doing this assignment is I had a lot of intriguing moments, but this assignment gave me several others. I found this AI prompt to be the best so far in that it gave me more unique and valuable ideas (that weren’t pulled from the info I included in the prompt) than other prompts.

Act 1:
Superior Position: Joaquin’s friend tipped off the cops.
Intrigue: Where is Dante taking Joaquin and why won’t he tell him where or why?
Conspiracy: Arturo has gone to his home to collect his family and is following behind Dante’s jeep.
Mystery: Why is Joaquin important to Rodrigo?
Covert Agenda: The competition.
Intrigue: The anonymous threat delivered by courier. Your family will suffer if you don’t participate.
Intrigue: Who is stalking Camila and Isabel?
Superior Position: Joaquin is hiding in the tunnels from Dante and his men.
Covert Agenda / Scheme: Arturo devised the competition (and taking him under his wing) to push Joaquin into committing violence so he can win back Camila.
Secret: Joaquin has never told anyone what he did that got his father killed.
Cover Up / Covert Agenda: Arturo has his men attempt to kidnap Isabel so he can swoop in and stop it, looking like a hero.

Act 2:
Intrigue: Who is blowing up the rival drug lab?
Secret / Conspiracy: Camila and Arturo were engaged to be married and are keeping the information from Joaquin.
Intrigue: What is Arturo paying off the cop for?
Covert Agenda: The kingpin’s deception. Joaquin overhears his conversation w/Rodrigo that the win is his, he just wants the legacy and part of that is to to “cleanse” the org for loyalty.
Super Position / Cover Up: Joaquin sneaks into Dante’s lair to plant surveillance equipment and finds a file on himself.
Covert Agenda: Arturo schemes for Luis to attack Isabel so he can not only be the one to warn Joaquin, but also be the one to tell Camila her husband killed a man.
Hidden Identity: Isabel is like her father and sneaking around to identify her stalker.
Covert Agenda / Intrigue: Dante corners Joaquin but instead of getting revenge for his brother’s murder, he gives Joaquin a choice to come work for him.
Scheme / Intrigue: Joaquin’s notebook – he’s planning how to win.
Superior Position: Isabel doesn’t listen to her bodyguard and sneaks into the warehouse.
Superior Position: The cop is in Arturo’s pocket.

Act 3:
Cover Up: The cop tells a story as to how Isabel got herself killed.
Superior Position: Snipers get in position during Isabel’s funeral to take out Joaquin.
Intrigue / Hidden Identity: Where is Joaquin going in the tunnels? To kill the cop.
Scheme: Warns Santiago of things his rivals are planning that will affect the community.
Superior Position: Arturo’s man sees Joaquin leave and follows him.
Scheme: Arturo kidnaps celebrities’ kids to secure the largest ransom in history.
Covert Agenda / Conspiracy: Arturo is in bed with the rival cartel and sets Joaquin up to be killed.
Cover Up: Arturo tries to wiggle out of setting up Joaquin.
Intrigue: Joaquin drives to the outskirts of town, using his drones, searching for something.
Hidden Identity / Intrigue: Joaquin steals money, night vision goggles, military uniforms, etc. from the cartel. What is he going to use it for?
Covert Agenda: The Mexican President warns the US about trying to free the hostages, but he is under duress.
Intrigue: What is in the letters Joaquin asked Santiago to mail?
Scheme / Conspiracy: During a points tally, Santiago and his men free the hostages.
Intrigue / Covert Agenda / Secret: Says goodbye to his family, he’s going to win, but how is a secret.
Superior Position / Covert Agenda: Camila is trying to buy Joaquin time when Arturo comes to her for information.
Scheme: To find Joaquin in the tunnels and kill him.
Conspiracy: Arturo makes a deal with Dante and tips off the rival cartel to go after Joaquin.
Intrigue / Covert Agenda: Arturo tells Camila her husband is dead. Is he?

Act 4:
Covert Agenda / Scheme: Joaquin captured by immigration.
Mystery: What is in the notebook and letters?
Hidden Identity: Arturo makes a mistake, revealing himself as the stalker.
Intrigue: Maritza escorts Joaquin to a black site warehouse.
Covert Agenda / Scheme: Explosions.
Mystery / Scheme: Joaquin is alive, arrives in time for the awarding of the competition winner. How did he get out alive?
Covert Agenda / Scheme: Arturo motives and him as the driver of the competition are revealed.
Covert Agenda / Scheme: Kills Rodrigo and using explosions as a distraction, kills all of his rivals.
Hidden Identity: Joaquin is the new leader of the cartel
Conspiracy / Hidden Identity: Maritza is alive and working with Joaquin.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Emotional Moments

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer who has many successful movies produced and an Oscar on the mantel.
What I learned doing this assignment is it really helps to isolate the emotional moments and now I believe I will be able to build them in much stronger. The AI assignment gave me more insight into how to deepen the emotions.

Act 1:
Distress: Dante kills Joaquin’s friend, then orders him into his jeep without telling him where they’re going or why. On the way, another jeep joins them on the road and Joaquin realizes his family is in the jeep with another cartel leader. Grief and rage conflicting in him.
Emotional Dilemma: The kingpin orders Joaquin and his family to stay at the compound until he dies. But someone is stalking his daughter. Leave and they may all be killed. Stay and his daughter is in danger. Inability to protect his family and wound of causing his father’s death.
Bonding: Thinking something happened to her husband in the tunnels, Camila and Joaquin have a moment when he gets to safety.
Moral Issue: Arturo takes Joaquin under his wing. Teaches him to be violent, which Joaquin has avoided all his life.
Courage: While shots ring out at the gubernatorial campaign, Joaquin helps those who were shot.
Distress: Attempted kidnapping of Isabel.
Wound: Tomas wants to join the cartel.

Act 2:
Excitement/Courage/Success: Joaquin blows up the rival lab and joins the competition.
Bonding (negative): Arturo makes a deal with Camila to protect her husband.
Wound: Tomas is watching a recruiting video that sends Joaquin into a rage. Reveals that his father died because he didn’t listen to him to stay out of the cartel.
Bonding: Joaquin bonds with Rodrigo.
Emotional Dilemma: Luis is assaulting his daughter. Against all his moral code, he kills him.
Betrayal: Arturo is the one to tell Camila that he killed Luis.
Distress: Cornered by Dante after he killed his brother.
Sacrifice: Isabel is killed trying to protect her family.

Act 3:
Distress: Learns Isabel was killed.
Moral Dilemma: Kills the cop who killed his daughter. Courage mixed with further descent into cartel violence and becoming the man he never wanted to be.
Emotional Dilemma: Targeted by the rival cartel. Does he let his wife and Tomas to go with Arturo who he believes killed Isabel or keep them with him and in the line of fire of the rival cartel members?
Betrayal: Arturo has set up Joaquin to be killed.
Surprise/Bonding: Santiago and community members volunteer to be his protection.
Success/Winning: Joaquin frees the hostages.
Sacrifice: Won’t tell anyone where he is going or what he’s going to do to protect them.
Love: Camila tries to protect her husband from Arturo.
Distress: Joaquin is hunted and Camila is told he’s dead.
Sacrifice: To protect Tomas, Camila gives in to Arturo.

Act 4:
Distress: Joaquin captured by immigration.
Moral Issue: Joaquin kills Maritza.
Surprise: Joaquin is free and arrives in time.
Success/Winning: Wins the competition.
Excitement: Explosions. Takes out all of his rival competitors.
Surprise: Maritza is alive and they double crossed the cartel.
Betrayal and Forgiveness: For his wife sleeping with Arturo.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Reveals!

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer who has many successful movies produced and an Oscar on the mantel.
What I learned doing this assignment is reveals is one area where I have greatly improved. I have a lot of setups and reveals already built in.

Act 1:
Setup: Joaquin is racing toward a farmhouse w/a drone overhead.
Reveal: The farmhouse is a drug lab and he’s a scout for the cartel warning them of a raid.
Setup: One of the workers, a friend, jumps into Joaquin’s jeep.
Reveal + Setup: The friend ratted the cartel out to the police.
Reveal: Dante kills the friend.
____
Setup: Dante orders Joaquin to get in his car.
Reveal + Setup: They’re taking his family too.
Reveal: The kingpin is dying and kicking off a competition for his successor.
Setup: The kingpin wants Joaquin, the closest he has to family, to stay until he dies.
Reveal: Joaquin has been under the kingpin’s protection as a promise to his loyal father.
____
Setup: Joaquin goes into the tunnels, believing the stalker came from there.
Reveal: Dante is the tunnels.
Setup: Joaquin overhears Dante’s conversation about recruiting.
Reveal: Tomas gets a recruiting video.
____
Setup: Arturo has offered and convinced the kingpin that he should take Joaquin under his wing.
Reveal: Arturo forces Joaquin to become violent.
____
Setup: A rally for governor.
Reveal: Dante assassinates the candidate.
____
Setup: All the things that are happening to his family.
Setup: His family lashes out at Joaquin that he’s not protecting them.
Reveal: Joaquin joins the competition.

Act 2:
Setup: A cloaked figure blows up a rival drug lab.
Setup: He checked to make sure no one was in it first.
Setup: One of the competitors takes credit.
Reveal: It was Joaquin and he proves it to the dying kingpin and is given points.
____
Setup: Arturo offers a bodyguard for Isabel.
Setup: Luis assaults a waitress in Joaquin’s presence.
Setup: Arturo alerts Joaquin that Isabel is at a party with Luis.
Reveal + Setup: Isabel is assaulted by Luis and the bodyguard is afraid of him and won’t step in to help her.
Reveal + Setup: Joaquin kills Luis.
Reveal: Arturo tells Camila her husband is a killer.
____
Setup: Arturo is very attentive to Camila.
Setup: Multiple points where Arturo befriends, confides, shares information w/Camila.
Reveal: They were once engaged to be married.
____
Setup: The killing of Luis.
Setup: Dante and his men corner Joaquin.
Reveal: Instead of killing Joaquin, Dante wants him to come work for him.
____
Setup: The bodyguard stops by a warehouse and tells Isabel to wait in the car.
Setup: Isabel gets out and sneaks into the warehouse.
Reveal: Isabel hears something she shouldn’t.
Setup: Isabel runs out and flags down a cop.
Reveal: The cop kills her.

Act 3:
Setup: On drone footage, Joaquin sees a payoff from Arturo to the cop
Setup: The same cop makes the announcement of Isabel’s death.
Setup: Joaquin scans his surveillance. Sees Isabel run into the cop.
Reveal: Joaquin kills the cop.
____
Setup: Arturo and Joaquin enter a restaurant and Arturo asks a family how the food is.
Setup: They are there to beat up the owner, Santiago, for not paying his bills on time.
Setup: Santiago thanks him for trying to dissuade Arturo from the violence.
Reveal: Santiago offers to become Joaquin’s bodyguard.
____
Setup: The notebook.
Setup: The notebook is hidden in a wall in the residence.
Setup: Takes the notebook with him into the tunnels.
Reveal: Gives the notebook to the director of border patrol.
____
Setup: Arturo kidnaps four celebrities’ kids for a ransom.
Setup: Joaquin risks being seen in public to drive around a dilapidated area on the outskirts of town.
Setup: Joaquin shows Santiago and his guys the tunnels, gives the military uniforms he stole from the cartel, and night goggles.
Reveal: Santiago and his guys storm a building in the dilapidated area and free the hostages.

Act 4:
Setup: Joaquin tells his family he’s leaving to go win the competition.
Setup: He disappears into the tunnels.
Setup: Arturo finds out he’s in the tunnels and goes after him. Collapses the tunnel on him. Dead.
Reveal: Joaquin emerges from the tunnels, in the US, not dead.
____
Setup: Joaquin is captured by border patrol.
Setup: Joaquin kills the director of border patrol.
Reveal: Joaquin is not dead and earns the points to win the competition.
____
Setup: A stalker is in the Vega’s temporary residence and watching Camila in the bathtub.
Setup: The stalker left a threatening letter for Isabel.
Reveal + Setup: Isabel is the victim of an attempted kidnapping.
Setup: Arturo saves Isabel.
Reveal + Setup: Isabel is attacked by Luis
Reveal: Arturo is the stalker and set it all in motion to push Joaquin to enter the competition and prove that he is violent and no better than Arturo.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Character Action Tracks!

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer who has many successful movies produced and an Oscar on the mantel.

What I learned doing this assignment is that by focusing directly on the actions I could see where my action thriller was veering into drama rather than action. The AI prompts gave me some new ideas that I’m considering incorporating into outline.

New Actions:
Joaquin
Act 2:
Subversive Tactics: Joaquin uses his knowledge of cartel operations to create chaos without direct violence, like switching shipment labels to disrupt drug distribution.
Act 4:
Master of Guile: Employs guerrilla tactics learned from his father, using the cartel's own weapons against them during the climax.
Arturo
Act 1:
Sabotage: Plants false evidence to make Joaquin suspect other cartel members, stirring distrust.
Act 2:
Cruel Intimidation: Kidnaps a close friend of Joaquin's and uses them as leverage to force Joaquin into making risky moves in the competition.
Dante
Act 1:
Old Guard Respect: Enforces traditional cartel codes among younger members, showing his respect for the old ways and his view of leadership.
Act 2:
Strategic Elimination: Uses his influence to isolate Joaquin from potential allies within the cartel, ensuring that he faces challenges alone.
Act 3:
Secure Loyalties: Hosts a lavish but intimidating gathering for cartel leaders to secure their loyalty through a mix of fear and rewards.
Paranoid Measures: Installs surveillance throughout the cartel compound, catching a minor betrayal that he uses to set an example.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s New Outline Beats!

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer who has many successful movies produced and an Oscar on the mantel.

What I learned doing this assignment is I had some logic jumps and isolating them allowed me to solve them pretty quickly.

I isolated my midpoint and realized that the death of my protagonist’s daughter and subsequent killing of the police officer who killed her didn’t feel authentic and had some logic jumps. I fixed that in my outline.

My script is about a competition to succeed the dying kingpin. I realized that some of the actions that my three main characters take weren’t true to their character traits and agendas so I isolated each and developed a strategy for each competitor based on their character profile.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer who has many successful movies produced and an Oscar on the mantel.
What I learned doing an assignment is it was extremely helpful to isolate the protagonist and antagonist in this version of the beat sheet.

4 ACT STRUCTURE (given the long length, only posting first two acts)
Genre: Action Thriller
Act 1: Joaquin is summoned by the dying Kingpin
Joaquin PJ: Joaquin, a scout for the cartel, is dealing with a typical family issue while he races to alert the drug lab workers the police are coming. As they flee the lab, he explodes the evidence. Helps an elderly worker to his car.
Joaquin PJ: Joaquin’s friend, Brayden, tells him he tipped off the police like they discussed, so they can get out of the cartel.
Joaquin PJ: Dante kills Brayden while Joaquin does nothing to stop it.
Inciting Incident: Joaquin and his family are summoned to the cartel compound.
Arturo AJ: At the compound dropoff, Arturo tells Dante that Tomas is a sharpshooter. Camila appears to be afraid of Arturo. Arturo’s puppy races out to him, not afraid at all.
Arturo AJ and Reveal: Rodrigo, the kingpin announces he is dying and kicking off a savage competition for his succession (which Arturo instigated).
Joaquin PJ: Rodrigo tells Joaquin he wants him to stay. First mention of Rodrigo’s son and Joaquin’s father’s death and connection to Rodrigo.
Arturo AJ: Sneaks into the Vega guest house to watch Camila in the bathtub and leave the letter for Isabel.
Action: Joaquin goes after the culprit in the tunnels and believes it is Dante. Tells them Rodrigo wants them to stay. He’s lonely and we are the closest he has to a family.
Reveal: Joaquin has been under Rodrigo’s protection due to his father’s loyalty. Now Arturo is his most loyal, he cares most about Rodrigo’s legacy. Isabel lashes out at Rodrigo and Joaquin tries to wriggle out of them staying.
Arturo AJ: Takes Joaquin under his wing, teaching him how to be violent. Acts like he’s empathizing with Joaquin. Asks Joaquin if he has a dog – they never leave you analogy.
Reveal: Arturo AJ: Sends Tomas a cartel recruiting video. Joaquin reveals how his father was killed.
TP 1 and Arturo AJ: Attempted kidnapping of Isabel. Arturo saves her and warns Camila that he caught Dante checking out Isabel. Alludes to mutually keeping something from Joaquin.
Joaquin PJ: The family lashes out at Joaquin to do something to protect their family.
Act 2: Joaquin joins the competition and tries to navigate w/o bloodshed
Joaquin PJ: After checking to make sure it is empty, he blows up a rival drug lab and joins the competition.
Joaquin PJ: He tries to earn points without bloodshed but everything fails and Rodrigo is disgusted with him, says he’ll never win. Now he is stuck in the competition so it is win or be killed.
Joaquin PJ: Sneaks into Dante’s lair and plants surveillance equipment.
Joaquin PJ: He and Camila have a blow up about him entering the competition, and his notebook. Things are out of order at his desk – someone was in there.
Joaquin PJ: Announces to Rodrigo that they’re related. Asks to visit Rodrigo’s son’s room. It’s a shrine. He finds the hidden location from childhood – stuff still in it. Puts his notebook in there. And finds the door to the basement and unlocks it.
Arturo AJ: Arturo sets up Luis to go after Isabel, then tells Joaquin.
Arturo AJ: At Arturo’s hints, Tomas seeks out Dante to teach him about the cartel.
Joaquin PJ: Joaquin finds Luis assaulting Isabel and kills him.
Arturo AJ: Arturo reveals to Camila that Joaquin killed a man.
Deeper Layer / Reveal: Camila reveals that she and Arturo were engaged and he should be focused on Dante. He hasn’t admitted to anything on surveillance.
Joaquin PJ: Joaquin earns points for killing Luis. He struggles with what to write in his notebook.
Joaquin PJ: Dante corners him, mislead that he’s going to kill Joaquin, but instead he offers him a position if he drops out of the competition and comes to work for him.
Deeper Layer / Arturo AJ: Isabel is on to Arturo and he kills her.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Deeper Layer!

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer who has many successful movies produced and an Oscar on the mantel.
What I learned doing an assignment is I had deeper layers, but was missing a number of opportunities to set them up better and make them much stronger.

Camila and Arturo’s relationship
• Surface Layer: Camila is afraid of Arturo, a leader in the cartel
• Deeper Layer: Camila and Arturo were once engaged to be married
• Major Reveal: At the midpoint after Isabel is killed. Through surveillance, he learns who killed Isabel, and knows he was previously paid off by Arturo. Camila assures him Arturo would never harm her children. He promised her he’d protect them all and that’s what he’s been doing.
• Influences Surface Story: Arturo is the one to take Joaquin under his wing. He warns Camila that Dante is checking out Isabel. He agrees with Camila that it is better to keep their relationship from Joaquin. He pretends to empathize with Joaquin when he is tasked with violence. He “saves” Isabel from “kidnappers.” Warns Joaquin of Luis attacking Isabel. Vows to Camila to protect her husband.
• Hints: We don’t see Dante checking out Isabel. He is always the one warning of what is to come and “protecting.” Asks Joaquin if he has a dog. They never leave you. Or, see her run, she will always come back. Got out once, got lost, next day she was at my doorstep.
• Changes Reality: Knowing they have a relationship makes us wonder whether Arturo is the one terrifying Joaquin and his family.

Arturo schemed up the competition and Joaquin’s summons
• Surface Layer: Rodrigo summoned Joaquin and his family to be with him while he dies.
• Deeper Layer: Arturo schemed the situation so he can win back Joaquin’s wife, Camila.
• Major Reveal: At the crowning at the end. Tomas reveals that Arturo told them Joaquin was dead and convinced his mother to take him back.
• Influences Surface Story: This was all about Camila wasn’t it, he asks Arturo. Then asks Rodrigo whose idea the competition was – Arturo’s. And my family coming?
• Hints: Rodrigo makes a comment about Arturo taking Joaquin under his wing – he’s the one who cares most about Rodrigo’s legacy. He knows how to get people to do what he needs them to do.
• Changes Reality: He must be killed and Joaquin has to do it. Now Dante wants revenge against Arturo too. Joaquin has to kill Dante first – which leads to him having to chase down Arturo.

Joaquin lies about being Rodrigo’s family
• Surface Layer: Joaquin learns he is related to Rodrigo and tells him so
• Deeper Layer: It’s a lie that Joaquin created
• Major Reveal: At the very end, when Rodrigo is dying he tells him they could never be related.
• Influences Surface Story: Rodrigo awards Joaquin the crown.
• Hints: Tells Camila that Rodrigo is lonely. He wants a family, his son.
• Changes Reality: Rodrigo wants Joaquin to win badly now.

Misinformation Network
• Surface Layer: Dante and Arturo’s people are turning on them
• Deeper Layer: Joaquin has created a sophisticated surveillance and misinformation network. Has advanced tech skills, which he uses to manipulate events from behind the scenes.
• Major Reveal: Act 3: Arturo figures it out and shares the info with Dante who now also realizes he has to kill Joaquin
• Influences Surface Story: Arturo and Dante are about to square off, but don’t based on this information.
• Hints: The letters. Things he discusses with Santiago.
• Changes Reality: Dante agrees to kill Joaquin.

Attacks on Isabel and Stalking of Camila
• Surface Layer: Dante is stalking Camila and Isabel
• Deeper Layer: Arturo is manipulating them to think it’s Dante
• Major Reveal: Act 3: Once he has Camila in bed, he says something about how beautiful she looked in the bathtub.
• Influences Surface Story: Forces Joaquin into the competition. Keeps suspicion on Dante at first.
• Hints: All the warnings about Dante come from Arturo.
• Changes Reality: Now we know the lengths Arturo has gone to in order to get Camila back.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Character Structure

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer who has many successful movies produced and an Oscar on the mantel.
What I learned is that the antagonists’ acts and turning points can be different and this process makes it much easier to see how they work with each other.

Joaquin – Protagonist Journey
• Beginning: Joaquin, a scout for the cartel, wants out, but must keep that to himself or he will be killed.
• Inciting Incident: The dying kingpin of the cartel summons Joaquin to his compound where he announces a brutal contest for his successor.
• Turning Point 1: Joaquin’s family is threatened by an anonymous competitor (Arturo).
• Act 2: He joins the competition but tries to navigate it without bloodshed, his way, not the cartel’s way.
• Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Arturo has his daughter killed.
• Act 3: Joaquin kills the corrupt police officer who killed his daughter and goes on the offensive, the cartel way, to win and get revenge on Arturo.
• Turning Point 3: He is captured by US immigration and believed to be dead by the cartel.
• Act 4 Climax: At the crowning of the winner, Joaquin surprises everyone with evidence he killed the US Director of Border patrol. He’s announced the winner, which turns into a battle in which he kills all of his rivals, including Arturo.
• Resolution: Joaquin and his family are safe. Sets up a sequel where he and Maritza go after other cartels.

Arturo – Antagonist Journey
• Beginning: Arturo and Joaquin’s wife were engaged to be married when he started to engage in cartel violence. She broke up with him and married Joaquin.
• Inciting Incident: Joaquin was under the kingpin’s protection so Arturo couldn’t do anything about Joaquin, but now the kingpin is dying and he sees an opening.
• Turning Point 1: Arturo convinces the kingpin to bring Joaquin and his family to the compound to be with him until he dies. But his real motive is to prove to Camila that Joaquin is a violent man, and no better than he is. Once he does that, he can kill him.
• Act 2: He takes Joaquin under his wing, manipulating him, stalking his family.
• Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Joaquin joins the competition.
• Act 3: Arturo pushes Joaquin to commit murder.
• Turning Point 3: He convinces Camila that Joaquin is dead and lures her back to him.
• Act 4 Climax: Joaquin is alive and wins the competition. He battles him to the death.
• Resolution: Arturo is dead.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Supporting Characters

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer who has many successful movies produced and an Oscar on the mantel.

What I learned is I didn’t realize how many supporting characters I had until I did this assignment and it was way too many. This helped me pare it down and think through which ones were necessary and how they can contribute to the story in more valuable ways. I had some breakthroughs with my supporting characters as a result.

Support 1:
• Name: Rodrigo Espinoza
• Role: The dying kingpin
• Main purpose: His medical condition and impending death is the driving force for the movie plot.
• Value: While not the main antagonist, he pushes Joaquin to change in an uncomfortable way.
Support 2:
• Name: Camila Vega
• Role: Wife of Joaquin
• Main purpose: The woman Arturo covets and reason for his vindictiveness
• Value: While just a supporting character she is really a triangle character, critical to the story, and creates a lot of tension between Joaquin and Arturo.
Support 3:
• Name: Isabel Vega
• Role: Joaquin’s youngest daughter, a target of stalking, and is killed.
• Main purpose: The reason Joaquin joins the competition (one of the competitors is assaulting her), then she is the reason he makes his first kill (to protect her from sexual assault), and the second one (to kill the man who killed her), driving him to violence.
• Value: She is the target of Arturo’s manipulation – he uses her to get to Joaquin and drive him into the competition. And she is the first to suspect Arturo, which drives him to kill her, and thus, driving Joaquin to violence.
Support 4:
• Name: Tomas Vega
• Role: Son of Joaquin. He reminds Joaquin of himself when he is that age and making the same mistake he made – which led to his father’s death.
• Main purpose: Brings Joaquin’s wound to the forefront and forces the reveal.
• Value: He makes Joaquin look in the mirror, at his own mistakes, his fear of change, fear of standing up to the cartel, and letting it control him, and put his family in danger, all his life.
Support 5:
• Name: Santiago
• Role: Restaurant owner / Joaquin’s #2
• Main purpose: Shows Joaquin is winning over the community. Gives Joaquin protection and added manpower so he isn’t killed in the competition.
• Value: To be able to run the cartel, Joaquin will need people on his side and gaining the support of Santiago demonstrates his leadership capabilities.

Background Character 1:
• Name: Maritza
• Role: US Director of Border Control
• Main purpose: She is the key to winning the competition.
• Value: Rodrigo’s hatred for her and their history makes Joaquin figure out how to win the competition. She is Rodrigo’s wound. Sets up a sequel.
Background Character 2:
• Name: Luis Herrera
• Role: Brother of Dante
• Main purpose: A red herring for Isabel’s stalker.
• Value: Creates a situation, the attempted sexual assault of Isabel, that drives Joaquin to kill for the first time, and it is believable, and understandable.
Background Character 3:
• Name: Brayden
• Role: Friend who is killed
• Main purpose: Empathy for Joaquin.
• Value: He sets the opening in motion and is killed as a result and we feel empathy for his friend Joaquin who was not responsible for his death, but made a few innocent decisions that contributed to it.
Background Character 4:
• Name: Galo Leon
• Role: Another competitor.
• Main purpose: To help Arturo in his attempts to take down Joaquin.
• Value: Misleads the audience when Joaquin blows up the lab. Goes after Joaquin in the tunnels. May be other uses for him.
Background Character 5:
• Name: Felipe
• Role: Liquor store owner
• Main purpose: Arturo’s target for his first step in manipulating Joaquin into committing violence.
• Value: An innocent that
Background Character 6:
• Name: Officer Emilio
• Role: Crooked police officer
• Main purpose: Kills Isabel at Arturo’s orders.
• Value: Provides a reason for Joaquin to kill a second time and another empathetic situation for Joaquin that makes us root for him eventhough he’s turning to violence like the other competitors and cartel members.
Background Character 7:
• Name: Nurse
• Role: Rodrigo’s nurse
• Main purpose: Rodrigo is at the end of life so he needs someone to help him.
• Value: Provides some pushback to Rodrigo, which is what Joaquin is going to do in bigger proportion. Is there a way I can use her more?
Background Character 8:
• Name: Waitress
• Role: To mislead with Luis as the red herring.
• Main purpose: Luis assaults her, leading us to believe he’s the one stalking Isabel.
• Value: To show how horrible Luis is, setting him up as a good first kill for Joaquin.
Background Character 9-12:
• Name: 4 American Kids
• Role: They are kidnapped by Arturo.
• Main purpose: For Arturo to win points and look like he may beat Joaquin.
• Value: Add suspense. Authentic cartel crime.
Background Character 13:
• Name: Border control / Immigration Officers
• Role: Confine Joaquin
• Main purpose: Mislead audience to believe Joaquin can’t win the competition
• Value: Suspense. Mislead. Worry the audience.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Character Profiles Part 2

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer who has many successful movies produced and an Oscar on the mantel.
What I learned is these assignments are helping to flush out my characters and make them more unique and interesting.

Cartel Kings
Action thriller
Concept = When a dying kingpin launches a brutal contest for his succession, a peaceful man's family is endangered, forcing him to battle for control of the cartel to save them and destroy it.

Joaquin Vega
Journey: From a peaceful, reluctant and trapped cartel member to a decisive leader, forced to engage in the cartel’s brutal competition to protect his family and take control of the cartel.
1. Role in the Story: Protagonist, reluctant scout in the cartel and competitor in a cutthroat competition to succeed the dying kingpin.
2. Age range and Description: Joaquin (30’s) is the guy in the room that no one notices, just an average guy who is trying to do right by his family and get through each work day as a scout for the XYZ cartel.
3. Core Traits: Morally conflicted, devious, tight-lipped, reads people
4. Motivation: Want / Need: To get out of the cartel and protect his family. Needs to get the courage to stand up to the cartel as well as redemption for past mistakes and reconciliation with his own moral compass.
5. Wound: His father died as a result of his naivete and unwillingness to go through with his father’s plan to get him out of the cartel.
6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy: As police sirens get closer, he risks his freedom to help an elderly or disabled person get to safety. Cooks a bunch of tamales because it’s the only way he can get time with his son. Highlight scenes where Joaquin deals with common struggles, such as his frustration and fear over his inability to provide a safer environment for his family, tapping into universal fears of failure and concern for loved ones. His friend is killed right in front of him.
7. Character Subtext: Tight lipped and hiding his hatred for the cartel.
8. Character Intrigue: Competition to succeed the dying kingpin. Unspoken wound – his father died because of him.
9. Flaw: Cowardice
10. Values: Family. Life.
11. Character Dilemma: Protecting his family versus fear. Desire for peace and need to commit violence to achieve it.

Arturo
Journey: Arturo’s journey is marked by his cunning and ruthless maneuvers to ascend in the cartel’s ranks with a hidden motive of winning back the woman he covets.
1. Role in the Story: Arturo (antagonist) is #3 in the cartel and has a hidden vendetta against Joaquin who married the woman that he covets.
2. Age range and Description: 30’s. Rough around the edges but charming.
3. Core Traits: Vindictive, covert operator, obsessive, ambitious, charming
4. Motivation: Want / Need: To get the love of his life back and take control of the cartel. Tells Camila she will be a partner in running the cartel. Needs validation and acceptance that he is superior to Joaquin.
5. Wound: Camila left him when he started to commit violent acts for the cartel, a rejection that fuels his hatred and schemes.
6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy: He offers a hand to Camila to get out of the jeep. Hands money to poverty-stricken kids. Offers to take Joaquin under his wing. Charms the kids and assigns a protection detail to them. Alerts Joaquin when Isabel is in danger. Reminiscing about a time when he and Camila were younger, happier. Regret. Unrequited love. This job (ambitions, power) cost me a lot. Deep seated feelings of rejection and inadequacy.
7. Character Subtext: Cunning and plotting the demise of Joaquin so he can win his wife back. Profound fear of being alone and unloved.
8. Character Intrigue: Orchestrates the competition and threats to eliminate Joaquin covertly and prove to Camila that Joaquin is no better than he is.
9. Flaw: His obsession with Camila blinds him to other threats, undermining his strategies.
10. Values: Winning, control, and possession over true emotional connections.
11. Character Dilemma: Struggles between his desire for power and the need to feel loved and validated by someone he respects.

Dante
Journey: Dante is a secondary antagonist who is embroiled in the brutal contest for leadership, willing to commit horrific acts to secure his position. His journey intersects and clashes with Joaquin’s, as both vie for the same role but with different intentions.
1. Role in the Story: Secondary antagonist; fiercely ambitious, sees the competition as his right of passage to leadership.
2. Age range and Description: Mid-30s; muscular and imposing with a cold, calculating gaze.
3. Core Traits: Ruthless, ambitious, relentless.
4. Motivation; Want/Need: Wants to be the next kingpin; needs recognition of his strength and capability to lead.
5. Wound: Feels betrayed by the kingpin's decision to hold a competition, believing he was the rightful successor.
6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy: Despite his ruthless nature, showing Dante respecting an old cartel rule or tradition can add a layer of respectability and principle to his character. Dante's ambition can be made relatable by showing his hard work and dedication—perhaps scenes of him alone, strategizing late into the night, underscored by personal sacrifices he's made for his career.
7. Character Subtext: Masks deep insecurities about his worthiness as a leader under a facade of brutality.
8. Character Intrigue: Willing to betray, manipulate, and kill to secure his position at the top.
9. Flaw: His single-minded focus on power makes him overlook what Rodrigo wants most
10. Values: Values strength, dominance, and loyalty to the cartel's vision.
11. Character Dilemma: Caught between his ruthless methods and the need to prove he is a worthy leader not just through force but through effective governance.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Character Profiles Part 1

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer who has many successful movies produced and an Oscar on the mantel.
What I learned from doing this assignment is how important (and challenging) it is to find uniqueness that makes your characters stand out that is authentic and in line with your concept and genre.

Lead Character Name: Joaquin Vega
Role: Protagonist
High Concept: Reluctant competitor in a cutthroat competition to succeed the dying kingpin.
Journey: From a peaceful, reluctant and trapped cartel member to a decisive leader, forced to engage in the cartel’s brutal competition to protect his family and take control of the cartel.
• What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it? Transformation from a reluctant participant in a violent world to a decisive leader driven by familial protection and inner reform.
• What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story? Internal conflict between his peaceful nature and the brutal environment of the cartel. Journey from pacifism to reluctant engagement to eventual leadership adds layers of depth and intrigue.
• What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script? Navigating the treacherous hierarchy of the cartel, strategizing against competitors, and ultimately taking decisive steps to dismantle the organization from within while protecting his family. Insider exchanges with the kingpin. Being coerced to violence and finding a way out. Blowing up a rival lab. Taking out his competitors.
• How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor? In his role as scout for the cartel he alerts the employees at the lab the police are coming then sets the place on fire. While on his way he gets a call from his wife about his son acting out. Introducing Joaquin as a conflicted scout torn between his desire for peace and his familial ties to the cartel would immediately intrigue actors, showcasing the moral complexity and emotional depth of the character.
• What could be this character’s emotional range? Spans from initial reluctance and fear to moments of intense determination, guilt, and ultimately, a sense of grim resolve as he embraces his role as a leader. Fear, horror, confusion, guilt, anger, love, panic, sadness, determination, anxiety, triumph
• What subtext can the actor play? He hates the cartel and wants out but has to hide this. He strategizes to take down the cartel. He thwarts his competitors’ actions and misleads and lies to the cartel kingpin.
• What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have? His relationship with the cartel kingpin who is also the father of his best friend who was killed when they were kids. His relationship with Arturo who is manipulating Joaquin into joining the competition so he can steal his wife. His relationship with Dante who doesn’t trust him and he kills his brother.
• How will this character’s unique voice be presented? Haven’t figured this one out yet.
• What could make this character special and unique? Journey of transformation and redemption, as he navigates the brutal world of the cartel with a sense of reluctant heroism, driven by a desire to protect his loved ones and effect positive change from within.
Age range and Description: Joaquin (30’s) is the guy in the room that no one notices, just an average guy who is trying to do right by his family and get through each work day as a scout for the XYZ cartel.
• Core Traits: Morally conflicted, devious, tight-lipped, reads people
• Motivation: To protect his family.
• Want: To get out of the cartel.
• Need: To get the courage to stand up to the cartel.
• Wound: His father died as a result of his naivete and unwillingness to go through with his father’s plan to get him out of the cartel.
• Likability: As police sirens get closer, he risks his freedom to help an elderly or disabled person get to safety.
• Relatability: Cooks a bunch of tamales because it’s the only way he can get time with his son. Highlight scenes where Joaquin deals with common struggles, such as his frustration and fear over his inability to provide a safer environment for his family, tapping into universal fears of failure and concern for loved ones.
• Empathy: His friend is killed right in front of him.

Lead Character Name: Arturo
Role: Antagonist
High Concept: #3 in the cartel who is obsessed with Joaquin’s wife and fixated on ruining their marriage so he can win her back.
Journey: Arturo’s journey is marked by his cunning and ruthless maneuvers to ascend in the cartel’s ranks with a hidden motive of winning back the woman he covets.
• Known for Role: Portraying a cunning and ruthless antagonist driven by personal vendettas that stem from an obsession with his childhood sweetheart.
• Most Interesting Character: Arturo's obsession with Joaquin's wife and his vindictive nature make him a compelling and unpredictable antagonist, adding layers of tension and personal stakes to the story.
• Interesting Actions: Arturo's most interesting actions include manipulating situations to undermine Joaquin, leveraging his position in the cartel to further his own agenda, and resorting to ruthless tactics to achieve his goals.
• Introduction: Introducing Arturo as a cunning and resentful third-in-command with a personal vendetta against Joaquin would immediately establish his role as a formidable antagonist, setting the stage for conflict and intrigue.
• Emotional Range: From simmering resentment and envy to moments of intense vindictiveness and manipulation, showcasing his complex motivations and inner turmoil.
• Subtext: The actor can explore the subtext of his obsession with Joaquin's wife, his deep-seated resentment towards Joaquin, and his ruthless ambition, adding layers of depth to his interactions and motivations.
• Interesting Relationships: His relationship with Joaquin, his wife, and other members of the cartel, particularly those he sees as threats to his ambitions.
• Unique Voice: Arturo's unique voice is presented through his manipulative and vindictive demeanor, exuding a sense of menace and unpredictability that keeps both characters and audience on edge.
• Special: His personal vendettas and obsessive nature, which drive much of the conflict and tension within the story, elevating him beyond a typical antagonist to a complex and compelling character in his own right.
Age range and Description:
• Core Traits: Manipulator, covert operator, corrupt, caring
• Motivation: Camila.
• Want: To get the love of his life back.
• Need: To become a better man.
• Wound: Camila left him when he started to commit violent acts for the cartel.
• Likability: He offers a hand to Camila to get out of the jeep. Hands money to poverty-stricken kids. Offers to take Joaquin under his wing. Puts a protection detail on Camila’s kids. Alerts Joaquin when Isabel is in danger.
• Relatability: Reminiscing about a time when he and Camila were younger, happier.
• Empathy: This job cost me a lot.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Likability/Relatability/Empathy

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer who has many successful movies produced and an Oscar on the mantel.

What I learned from doing this assignment is there were many opportunities that I was missing to add likability, relatability and empathy into my opening scenes.

Protagonist – Joaquin:
• Likability: As police sirens get closer, he risks his freedom to help an elderly or disabled person get to safety.
• Relatability: Cooks a bunch of tamales because it’s the only way he can get time with his son. Highlight scenes where Joaquin deals with common struggles, such as his frustration and fear over his inability to provide a safer environment for his family, tapping into universal fears of failure and concern for loved ones.
• Empathy: His friend is killed right in front of him.

Antagonist – Arturo:
• Likability: He offers a hand to Camila to get out of the jeep. Hands money to poverty-stricken kids. Puts a protection detail on Camila’s kids. Alerts Joaquin when Isabel is in danger.
• Relatability: Reminiscing about a time when he and Camila were younger, happier.
• Empathy: This job cost me a lot.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Character Intrigue

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer who has many successful movies produced and an Oscar on the mantel.
What I learned from doing this assignment and the previous one is that I had a breakthrough with regards to not only my characters, especially how to make my protagonist more unique and memorable, but also how to create actions for them that are in line with their traits and their character subtext.

Character Name: Joaquin
Role: Protagonist
• Hidden agendas: To get out of the cartel.
• Competition: To win the competition so he can dismantle the cartel from within.
• Conspiracies: Conspires with community members to thwart his competitors and keep the community safe.
• Secrets: Hates the cartel and wants out.
• Deception: Schemes to beat his competitors and take control of the cartel.
• Unspoken Wound: His father tried to get him out of the cartel when he was a kid, but he defied his father which is what got him killed.
• Secret Identity: A bad ass cartel kingpin.

Character Name: Arturo
Role: Antagonist
• Hidden agendas: To lure Joaquin’s wife back to him.
• Competition: Using the competition to ruin Joaquin’s marriage with his wife, and kill Joaquin without getting blood on his hands.
• Conspiracies: Conspires with his crew to set Joaquin up for bad acts.
• Secrets: Covets Joaquin’s wife. Fakes hallucinations to make people afraid of him.
• Deception: Takes Joaquin under his wing and protects his family while he is the one threatening them.
• Unspoken Wound: Camila left him when he started committing violent crimes for the cartel.
• Secret Identity: The one threatening Joaquin’s family.

Character Name: Dante
Role: Triangle
• Hidden agendas: To gain Joaquin’s loyalty so he can take advantage of his intelligence when he takes over the cartel.
• Competition: Intends to win the competition at any cost.
• Conspiracies: Signs competitors up who he knows he can conspire with.
• Secrets: Feels threatened by Joaquin. He detests his brother.
• Deception: Keeps things from Joaquin to unsettle him / gain an advantage.
• Unspoken Wound: He expected Rodrigo to hand him the keys to the cartel and is hurt that he didn’t.
• Secret Identity: Respects strength, even his fiercest competitors.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Subtext Characters

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer who has many successful movies produced and an Oscar on the mantel.
What I learned from doing this assignment is defining the character’s subtext early really helps to develop a strong and unique character.

Example movie:
• Movie Title: The Beekeeper
• Character Name: Verona Parker
• Subtext Identity: An FBI agent who seeks justice, but questions whether it is right in this case.
• Subtext Trait: Hiding true feelings
• Subtext Logline: Verona is an FBI agent who is tracking down the man who is seeking vengeance for her mother’s death.
• Possible Areas of Subtext: Respect for the man she is hunting. Guilt over her mother’s death.

Protagonist:
• Character Name: Joaquin Vega
• Subtext Identity: A competitor in a cutthroat competition to succeed the dying kingpin.
• Subtext Trait: Devious. Tight-lipped.
• Subtext Logline: Joaquin wants out of the cartel, but is afraid until his family is threatened and he jumps into the competition to take control of the cartel and dismantle it.
• Possible Areas of Subtext: Has to hide his hatred for the cartel or he will be killed. Is trying to figure out who is threatening his family. Doesn’t want to work for Arturo, but can’t say no. Suspects Arturo is behind the threats. Schemes to earn points and win the competition. Misleads the kingpin to win and take out all of the threats to his leadership.

Antagonist:
• Character Name: Arturo
• Subtext Identity: #3 in the cartel who is obsessed with Joaquin’s wife and fixated on ruining their marriage so he can win her back.
• Subtext Trait: Manipulator. Covert operator. Corrupt.
• Subtext Logline: Arturo is driven by his desire to win back the woman he covets, using his position in the cartel to orchestrate Joaquin's downfall.
• Possible Areas of Subtext: Is behind Rodrigo summoning Joaquin to the compound. Taking Joaquin under his wing so he can manipulate him. Manipulates Joaquin into joining the competition by covertly threatening his family. Lying about Joaquin’s death. Lures Joaquin’s wife into his bed.

Triangle:
• Character Name: Dante
• Subtext Identity: #2 in the cartel and is fiercely determined to eliminate all threats to his path to power.
• Subtext Trait: Suspicious. Views any sign of weakness as a threat to his ambitions.
• Subtext Logline: Dante is a ruthless second-in-command, willing to commit any act of violence to assert his dominance within the cartel, secretly plotting to eliminate Joaquin and seize control for himself.
• Possible Areas of Subtext: Suspicious of Rodrigo and Joaquin’s relationship. When Joaquin kills his brother, holds it over his head. Respects Joaquin’s developing strength and brutality.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Actor attractors!

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer who has many successful movies produced and an Oscar on the mantel.
What I learned from doing this assignment is my supporting characters are more interesting than my protagonist. Still working on how to make him the most interesting.

ACTOR ATTRACTORS
Lead Character Name: Joaquin Vega
Role: Protagonist
1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?
Transformation from a reluctant participant in a violent world to a decisive leader driven by familial protection and inner reform. Like a robin hood of the cartel.
2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?
His internal conflict between his peaceful nature and the brutal environment of the cartel. His journey from pacifism to reluctant engagement to eventual leadership adds layers of depth and intrigue.
3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?
Navigating the treacherous hierarchy of the cartel, strategizing against competitors, and ultimately taking decisive steps to dismantle the organization from within while protecting his family. Insider exchanges with the kingpin. Being coerced to violence and finding a way out. Blowing up a rival lab. Taking out his competitors.
4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
In his role as scout for the cartel he alerts the employees at the lab the police are coming then sets the place on fire. While on his way he gets a call from his wife about his son acting out. Introducing Joaquin as a conflicted scout torn between his desire for peace and his familial ties to the cartel would immediately intrigue actors, showcasing the moral complexity and emotional depth of the character.
5. What could be this character’s emotional range?
Spans from initial reluctance and fear to moments of intense determination, guilt, and ultimately, a sense of grim resolve as he embraces his role as a leader. Fear, horror, confusion, guilt, anger, love, panic, sadness, determination, anxiety, triumph
6. What subtext can the actor play?
He hates the cartel and wants out but has to hide this. He strategizes to take down the cartel. He thwarts his competitors’ actions and misleads and lies to the cartel kingpin. explore the subtext of inner turmoil, moral ambiguity, and the weight of familial obligation versus personal ethics, adding layers of complexity to the character's interactions and decisions.
7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?
His relationship with the cartel kingpin who is also the father of his best friend who was killed when they were kids.
His relationship with Arturo who is manipulating Joaquin into joining the competition so he can steal his wife.
His relationship with Dante who doesn’t trust him and with whom he kills his brother.
8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?
Through surveillance speak. Measured speech.
9. What could make this character special and unique?
Journey of transformation and redemption, as he navigates the brutal world of the cartel with a sense of reluctant heroism, driven by a desire to protect his loved ones and effect positive change from within.

Lead Character Name: Arturo
Role: Antagonist
1. Known for Role: Actors would be attracted to Arturo's role for its complexity, portraying a cunning and ruthless antagonist driven by personal vendettas and ambitions within the cartel's hierarchy.
2. Most Interesting Character: Arturo's obsession with Joaquin's wife and his vindictive nature make him a compelling and unpredictable antagonist, adding layers of tension and personal stakes to the story.
3. Interesting Actions: Arturo's most interesting actions include manipulating situations to undermine Joaquin, leveraging his position in the cartel to further his own agenda, and resorting to ruthless tactics to achieve his goals.
4. Introduction: Introducing Arturo as a cunning and resentful third-in-command with a personal vendetta against Joaquin would immediately establish his role as a formidable antagonist, setting the stage for conflict and intrigue.
5. Emotional Range: Arturo's emotional range spans from simmering resentment and envy to moments of intense vindictiveness and manipulation, showcasing his complex motivations and inner turmoil.
6. Subtext: The actor playing Arturo can explore the subtext of his obsession with Joaquin's wife, his deep-seated resentment towards Joaquin, and his ruthless ambition, adding layers of depth to his interactions and motivations.
7. Interesting Relationships: Arturo's most interesting relationships could be with Joaquin, his wife, and other members of the cartel, particularly those he sees as threats to his ambitions.
8. Unique Voice: Arturo's unique voice is presented through his manipulative and vindictive demeanor, exuding a sense of menace and unpredictability that keeps both characters and audience on edge.
9. Special: What makes Arturo special is his personal vendettas and obsessive nature, which drive much of the conflict and tension within the story, elevating him beyond a typical antagonist to a complex and compelling character in his own right.

Lead Character Name: Dante
Role: Triangle
1. Known for Role: Actors would be drawn to Dante's role for its intensity and ambition, portraying a ruthless and determined second-in-command willing to commit any act to secure his path to power within the cartel.
2. Most Interesting Character: Dante's relentless ambition and willingness to go to any lengths make him a formidable player in the cartel's deadly game, providing a stark contrast to Joaquin's reluctant involvement and adding tension to their interactions.
3. Interesting Actions: Dante's most interesting actions include scheming to eliminate rivals, manipulating situations to his advantage, and engaging in brutal acts of violence to assert his dominance within the cartel.
4. Introduction: Introducing Dante as a fiercely determined second-in-command with clear ambitions for leadership would immediately establish his role as a formidable rival to Joaquin, setting the stage for conflict and competition within the story.
5. Emotional Range: Dante's emotional range spans from ruthless determination and ambition to moments of frustration, anger, and desperation as he faces obstacles to his ascent within the cartel.
6. Subtext: The actor playing Dante can explore the subtext of his unyielding ambition, his disdain for weakness, and his underlying insecurity, adding layers of complexity to his interactions and motivations.
7. Interesting Relationships: Dante's most interesting relationships could be with Joaquin, whom he views as a threat to his ambitions, as well as with other members of the cartel vying for power and influence.
8. Unique Voice: Dante's unique voice is presented through his ruthless and ambitious demeanor, exuding a sense of calculated menace and determination that commands attention and respect within the cartel.
9. Special: What makes Dante special is his relentless pursuit of power and dominance within the cartel, driving much of the conflict and tension within the story, and serving as a formidable obstacle for Joaquin on his journey of transformation and redemption.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Actor attractors for The Beekeeper

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer who has many successful movies produced and an Oscar on the mantel.
What I learned from doing this assignment is a compelling character can carry a story and demand that someone play it.

ACTOR ATTRACTORS
Movie Title: The Beekeeper
Lead Character Name: Adam Clay, The Beekeeper
1. Why would an actor WANT to be known for this role? He’s a retired beekeeper, a classified group of clandestine operatives who protect the hive and don’t stop killing until they reach their goal. He takes down the scumbags who defraud old and vulnerable people.
2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in the movie? He cares enough for the woman who took care of him to go after the guys who defrauded her yet has zero remorse or empathy for anyone he kills, including another beekeeper.
3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead takes in the movie? Burns the call center down in an impressive way. Uses his bee equipment and unique ways to kill the men who come for him. Going to kill his way to the top of the hive to get vengeance for the woman’s suicide. Cuts off a finger to use it to gain access. He strolls right into locations where they are on alert for him, announces he’s there, then still takes them all down.
4. How is this character introduced that could sell it to an actor? Takes down a massive hornet’s nest, protecting Eloise and his bees, carries it into the woman’s home, electrocutes the bees, then goes out to make honey.
5. What is this character’s emotional range? Peace and appreciation at the beginning. Sadness when the woman commits suicide. Anger and vengeance.
6. What subtext can the actor play? His caring and pain of losing Eloise while killing over and over again. Says what he’s going to do, knowing they can’t stop him.
7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character has? With Eloise, even in death. With Eloise’s daughter who is also an FBI agent who is hunting him, but I felt the writer and actors could have done more with this relationship. With Danforth and his employees.
8. How is this character’s unique voice presented? Uses bee and hive analogies. Tells the bad guys and law enforcement exactly what he’s going to do.
9. What makes this character special and unique? He’s a beekeeper, a retired member of a classified program, who kills until he takes out the top of the hive.
10. (Fill in a scene that shows the character fulfilling much of the Actor Attractor model.)

INT. CALL CENTER – MORNING
The elevator doors open and eyes rise from call stations as CLAY steps in, two gas-cans in hand.
Phones frozen at ears, everyone watches as he enters. Setting one of the cans on top of a desk in front of a call-station he …
CLAY
(call pitch rep) Hang up the phone.
…starts splashing GASOLINE across the floor with the other.
DATA GROUP REP What … what are you doing?
Clay stops. Looks at him.
CLAY
I said hang up the phone.
The young man blinks back at him.
DATA GROUP REP (then/into phone)
I’m … sorry Mrs. Perkins – I’ll have to call you back …
He hangs up. Clay goes back to spreading gasoline.
CLAY (everyone else)
Everyone. Hang up.
All up and down the rows of call stations, startled faces hang up their phones. Clay picks up the other gas can.
CLAY (CONT'D)
Repeat after me. I will never steal
from the weak and vulnerable ever again.
There is a collective swallow. Then, more or less together they repeat …
CALL CENTER EMPLOYEES
… we will never steal from the weak and vulnerable again …
CLAY
Good. And to help you keep that promise, I’m going to now burn your place of business to the ground. So I’d get out of here if I were you.
There is the slightest beat. Then, as one, they all jump up and go rushing for the exits as Clay continues dousing the computers and call-stations with gasoline.
VOICE
What! The Fuck! Do you think you think you’re DOING!?
Clay looks to see a MAN IN HIS 30’s there with the TWO OFF- DUTY COPS and several other SECURITY OFFICERS.
CLAY
I’m a Bee-Keeper. Sometimes when I want to smoke hornets – the natural predators of bees – out of their nests – I use fire.
GARNETT (THE VOICE)
The fuck you will! This a multi- million dollar operation asshole.
(security) Get his ass!
And they – all six of them charge for Clay down the aisle.
But Clay just reaches over one of the desks and yanks the HANDSETS of TWO TELEPHONES out by their cords and …
Swinging them like maces, MEETS them in the aisle, laying into them, TEETH, BLOOD and MUCUS flying until …
He catches both handsets in his hands and proceeds to use them a BATTERING TOOLS, hammering their ends in both directions into every piece of hard and soft tissue that gets in his way until …
They … everyone of them – bloody and brutalized – are down. He turns to look to GARNETT (who spoke) – who stands astonished – down the aisle.
CLAY
Now – I don’t care whether your friends here live or die. But the next call that your little phishing scam generates back to this call center? It’s also going to generate an electrical charge in the wires of the phones I just ripped out of the wall and, given all the gasoline fumes in here now?
(he nods)
I’d suggest – this place is gonna go up like Nagasaki.
Heading up the aisle he passes Garnett and …
Up to you. CLAY (CONT'D)
Pushes out thru the emergency exit and disappears. Garnett looks at him astonished. Then goes running for the men rolling around in agony down the aisle.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Genre Conventions
My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer who has many successful movies produced and an Oscar on the mantel.
What I learned from doing this assignment is I don’t have enough thriller elements in my 4-act structure or my plan for the script. Continue to work on this and keep it in focus as I move forward with the structure and outline.

Title: Cartel Kings
Genre: Action Thriller
Concept: When a dying kingpin launches a savage contest for his succession, a peaceful man's family is endangered, forcing him to battle for control of the cartel to save them and destroy it from within.

Action Genre Conventions:
• Purpose: Adrenaline-stirring / fast paced:
• Demand for Action:
• Mission:
• Escalating Action:
• Highly Skilled Hero that brings with a unique skill or talent to the fight:
• Clearly Evil Antagonist that requires action to defeat:

Thriller Genre Conventions
o Purpose: Thrill with high stakes, plot twists and suspense that never let’s up
o Life and Death Situations:
o Mystery/Intrigue/Suspense:
o Unknowing or Unwitting Hero:
o Devious and Unrelenting Villain:
o Main Emotions: Suspense, tension, anticipation, uncertainty and surprise.

Revised 4 Act Structure:
Act 1:
• Opening: Joaquin, a scout for the cartel, despises the violence and corruption around him. He dreams of leaving the cartel but feels trapped due to his familial ties and fear of reprisal. Joaquin alerts the drug lab workers the police are coming then stands by while Dante, the kingpin's right-hand man, kills his friend for tipping the police off.
• Inciting Incident: Joaquin and his family are summoned to the cartel compound where Rodrigo, the dying kingpin announces a savage competition for his succession.
• Turning Point: Joaquin’s family is threatened by an anonymous competitor.
Act 2:
• New plan: Joaquin blows up a rival drug lab and joins the competition. The anonymous competitor, who remains largely unseen, sends cryptic threats and starts to anticipate Joaquin’s moves.
• Plan in action: He tries to earn points while keeping his morals intact, but everything fails and now he is stuck in the competition so it is win or be killed. He sneaks into Dante’s lair and plants surveillance equipment. Believing Arturo is the one threatening their family, Joaquin’s daughter follows him and is killed.
• Midpoint Turning Point: Joaquin kills the police officer who killed his daughter.
Act 3:
• Rethink everything: Joaquin must go on the offensive and put his morals aside if he wants to win.
• New plan: To “kill” the US Director of Border Control who killed Rodrigo's son years ago.
• Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: Joaquin is captured by US immigration and his wife thinks he’s dead, which Arturo uses to trap her into getting back in bed with him.
Act 4:
• Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Joaquin brings evidence he killed the US Director and wins the competition, then guns down all of his competitors, taking full power and control of the cartel. The warehouse, pre-rigged with various traps and escape routes, becomes the arena for a final, all-out battle. Joaquin uses the environment to his advantage, picking off his rivals one by one in a suspenseful and strategically orchestrated series of confrontations that demonstrate his mastery of guerrilla warfare and his readiness to end the cartel violence once and for all.
• Resolution: He didn’t kill the US director, he enlisted her to help him and they faked her death. Now the two of them are going after the rival cartel.

Improvements:
Action – Instead of a typical gun battle as the climax, Joaquin has pre-rigged the announcement area w/traps, explosives, etc. to give himself an advantage and add to the action elements of the story. Also added Joaquin using his surveillance techniques to spy on his competitors, making for tense actions scenes where he almost gets caught doing it.
Thriller – Add an anonymous competitor who sends Joaquin cryptic threats and starts to anticipate his every move.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s 4 Act Transformational Structure (place in first line)

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer who has many successful movies produced and an Oscar on the mantel.

What I learned from doing this assignment is my turning points were not as powerful as they could be.

Concept: When a dying kingpin launches a brutal contest for his succession, a peaceful man's family is endangered, forcing him to battle for control of the cartel to save them and destroy it from within.

Main Conflict: The protagonist must navigate the lethal competition without betraying his own moral code, while outsmarting rivals who will do anything to win.
• Old Ways:
o Cautions his friend and family to put their heads down
o Says and does nothing when Dante kills his friend
o Obeys Dante’s commands
o Stays at the compound when he and his family want to leave
o Plans but never acts
o Goes to work for Arturo
• New Ways:
o Joins the competition
o Steals C4 and money from the cartel
o Burns down the rival cartel’s lab
o Manipulates Arturo
o Gains respect of the community and they protect him
o Puts his plan into action
o Puts his freedom at risk to win the competition
o Kills the cartel leader, Arturo and Dante
Act 1:
• Opening: Joaquin, a scout for the cartel, despises the violence and corruption around him. He dreams of leaving the cartel but feels trapped due to his familial ties and fear of reprisal. Joaquin alerts the drug lab workers the police are coming then stands by while Dante kills his friend for tipping them off.
• Inciting Incident: Joaquin and his family are summoned to the cartel compound where Rodrigo, the kingpin announces a competition for his succession.
• Turning Point: Joaquin’s family is threatened.
Act 2:
• New plan: Joaquin blows up a rival drug lab and joins the competition.
• Plan in action: He tries to earn points while keeping his morals intact, but everything fails and now he is stuck in the competition so it is win or be killed. Believing Arturo is the one threatening their family, Joaquin’s daughter follows him and is killed.
• Midpoint Turning Point: Joaquin kills the police officer who killed his daughter.
Act 3:
• Rethink everything: Joaquin must go on the offensive and put his morals aside if he wants to win.
• New plan: To “kill” the US director of border policy
• Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: Joaquin is captured by US immigration and his wife thinks he’s dead, which Arturo uses to trap her into getting back in bed with him.
Act 4:
• Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Joaquin brings evidence he killed the US Director and wins the competition, then guns down all of his competitors, taking full power and control of the cartel.
• Resolution: He didn’t kill the US director, he enlisted her to help him and they faked her death. Now the two of them are going after the rival cartel.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Subtext Plot
My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer who has many successful movies produced and an Oscar on the mantel.
What I learned from doing this assignment is I was using several subtext plots, but my focusing on just one or two I could strengthen them and making the story more intriguing.

Concept: When a dying kingpin launches a brutal contest for his succession, a peaceful man's family is endangered, forcing him to battle for control of the cartel to save them and destroy it from within.

Choice of Subtext Plot: Layering and Someone Hides Who They Are

Layering
Beneath the overt brutality of the competition lies a deeper narrative of Joaquin’s moral and psychological transformation. Initially presented as a contest for leadership, the true essence of the battle emerges as a struggle for Joaquin's soul. As he progresses, the audience gradually discovers that each act of violence committed by Joaquin is simultaneously a step towards saving his family and a step away from his own humanity. This duality creates a layered narrative where every action has a deeper, often contradictory meaning.

Someone Hides Who They Are
Arturo, outwardly just another ruthless competitor, secretly harbors a deep-seated jealousy and hatred towards Joaquin, stemming from a personal vendetta related to their shared past love interest. This subplot of hidden identity unfolds through subtle clues—overlooked glances, ambiguous remarks, and unexplained sabotages. As Joaquin delves deeper, he uncovers Arturo’s true motives, leading to a dramatic confrontation where hidden emotions and past grievances explosively surface.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Transformational Journey
My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer who has many successful movies produced and an Oscar on the mantel.
What I learned from doing this assignment is that I tend to complicate the journey unnecessarily.

Protagonist
• Arc Beginning: A low-level scout in the cartel
• Arc Ending: The cartel kingpin
• Internal Journey: A peaceful and timid man who feels trapped and is afraid to go against the leaders of the cartel to feeling invincible and battles the cartel leaders for power
• External Journey: A scout who obeys all orders to a powerful cartel kingpin who wipes out his competition
• Old Ways:
o Cautions his friend and family to put their heads down
o Says and does nothing when Dante kills his friend
o Obeys Dante’s commands
o Stays at the compound when he and his family want to leave
o Plans but never acts
o Goes to work for Arturo
• New Ways:
o Joins the competition
o Steals C4 and money from the cartel
o Burns down the rival cartel’s lab
o Manipulates Arturo
o Gains respect of the community and they protect him
o Puts his plan into action
o Puts his freedom at risk to win the competition
o Kills the cartel leader, Arturo and Dante

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Intentional Lead Characters

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer who has many successful movies produced and an Oscar on the mantel.

What I learned from doing this assignment is it gave me more clarity about who my characters are.

Protagonist: Joaquin
Joaquin (protagonist) is a scout for the cartel and the son of the kingpin’s former #2. He wants out of the cartel but knows he will be killed if he tries to leave.
• Role: Joaquin is a scout for the cartel and the son of the kingpin’s former right-hand man.
• Journey: Joaquin is on a transformational journey from a peaceful, reluctant cartel member to a decisive leader, forced to engage in the cartel’s brutal competition to protect his family and ultimately dismantle the cartel from within.
• Unique: Joaquin's internal conflict between his inherent pacifism and the violent world he inhabits adds depth to his character. His dual identity as a cartel scout and a protective family man makes him a complex protagonist.
• Intentional: Joaquin’s background as the son of a former cartel leader gives him inside knowledge and the necessary connections to navigate the cartel’s hierarchy. His peaceful nature juxtaposed with the violent cartel environment emphasizes the theme of personal sacrifice and transformation under pressure.

Antagonist: Arturo
Arturo (antagonist) is #3 in the cartel and has a hidden vendetta against Joaquin who married the woman that he covets.
• Role: Arturo is third in command in the cartel and harbors a deep resentment and envy towards Joaquin.
• Journey: Arturo’s journey is marked by his cunning and ruthless maneuvers to ascend in the cartel’s ranks, using any means necessary to thwart Joaquin’s rise and seize leadership for himself.
• Unique: Arturo’s obsession with Joaquin’s wife and his vindictive nature make him a compelling and unpredictable antagonist. His actions are driven by personal vendettas as much as by ambition.
• Intentional: Arturo’s position in the cartel and his personal vendetta against Joaquin make him the perfect disruptor in Joaquin’s life. His cunning and ruthlessness heighten the stakes, making his confrontations with Joaquin inevitable and explosive.

Triangle Character: Dante
Dante (triangle) is #2 in the cartel and will stop at nothing to be the next kingpin.
• Role: Dante is second in command and fiercely determined to become the next kingpin, viewing the competition as his rightful path to power.
• Journey: Dante is embroiled in a brutal contest for leadership, willing to commit horrific acts to secure his position. His journey intersects and clashes with Joaquin’s, as both vie for the same role but with different intentions.
• Unique: Dante’s relentless ambition and willingness to go to any lengths set him apart as a formidable player in the cartel’s deadly game. His ruthlessness contrasts sharply with Joaquin’s reluctant involvement.
• Intentional: Dante’s role as the #2 in command and his unyielding ambition serve to escalate the conflict and tension within the story. His aggressive tactics and clear motive to win at all costs provide a stark counterpoint to Joaquin’s more reluctant approach.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by  Linda Kish.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Title, Concept, and Character Structure!

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer who has many successful movies produced and an Oscar on the mantel.

What I learned from doing this assignment is it helps to clarify your structure at the outset of a new project.

Title: Cartel Kings

Concept: A dying kingpin puts his succession up for competition where brutality wins. What if the only way for a peaceful man to save his family and destroy the cartel is to lead it first?

Character Structure: Protagonist v. Antagonist

[Linda Kish]

Lesson #2: Linda’s Credibility is Going Up!

What I learned doing this assignment is that I have more control than I thought I had in building my credibility.

Steps I’ll take in the next 30 days to increase my credibility:

· Enter ACCELERATED RISK in 2 contests

· Get coverage on AR

Credibility Checklist

1. Your Writing Sample

· I have not sought coverage for any recent scripts

2. Screenwriting Accomplishments

· I don’t have any accomplishments that qualify here

3. The Google factor

· I appear at the top of Google, but it is for my other career that has no link to screenwriting

4. Your Network

How many producers are in your network? 260
LinkedIn connections with producers
How many Connections do you have who are connected
to producers? 140 other connections on LI who are connected to producers

5. Education specific to screenwriting

Completed Master Screenwriter Certificate program
at ScreenwritingU

6. Borrowed Credibility

Not represented or connected to any stars

7. IMDB CREDITS

· No IMDB credits

8. Other forms of credibility that is related to screenwriting:

On development team for ScreenwritingU Writing
Incredible Movies course

Linda’s LinkedIn Profile is Amazing!

My LI profile showcases the credibility I have currently pretty well as I created it during the Master Class and updated it recently, but there are a lot of other things I can do to build it up as highlighted below.

My plan for improving my LI profile.

· Exchange endorsements with members of this class

· Exchange recommendations with the members of the WIM development team

· Continue to invite new producers to my network

· Post about movies in my genre

[Linda Kish]

Lesson #1: Linda’s Projects and Insights

Go to the forums and sign the Group Confidentiality Agreement – DONE

Introduce yourself to the group while you are there – DONE

Tell us the two projects you’re bringing into this class and give us a budget range for each; each project must be:

a. RISE OF THE FALCON, an action thriller. A script I started in Writing Incredible Movies but didn’t like the direction it was going so I’m reimaging it. Budget: $5 – 15 million is my goal

b. ACCELERATED RISK, an action thriller. A finished script. Budget: $20 – 40 million

Tell us what you learned from the opening teleconference. Three things from the opening teleconference stood out to me:

· I never thought of a writer as a subcontractor. The analogy gave me a different perspective about the role we play in writing assignments and how to approach the work.

· I liked the approach Hal discussed of taking a section of a finished script and elevating it to make it the best example of that genre possible.

· While I’ve been watching some action movies and took the action class, I haven’t become an expert on the conventions, tropes and top movies in the genre. I have the motivation to do it now.

[Linda Kish]

I’m Linda Kish. I’ve written six scripts across a few genres, but focusing now on action thrillers.

My goal for this class is to learn strategic skills for working with producers.

I’ve run two marathons.

[Linda Kish]

Linda Kish

I agree to the terms of this release form.

[Linda Kish]

Linda Completed Act 2

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer with many successful movies produced and an Oscar on my mantel.

What I learned doing this assignment is it’s much easier to keep writing every day than to start and stop. I paused on this screenplay to hit some deadlines on other work and am now struggling to remember what I was thinking on some of these scenes as I write from outline. On the flip side, I feel like I’m coming in with a fresh perspective and quickly seeing areas where I must make improvements during the next drafts.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Act 1 First Draft Part 1

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer with many successful movies produced and an Oscar on my mantel.

What I learned doing this assignment is it helps tremendously to have the beginning, middle and ending already figured out. I did realize I will have to go back and take a look again at the interest techniques I identified during that process – with writing fast I’m sure I can make them more powerful once I spend more time with them.

How I used the High Speed Writing Rules: Although I was very tempted to read over my scenes to make changes, I wrote fast instead and didn’t worry that much of my dialogue will need improvements.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s High Speed Writing Rules!

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer with many successful movies produced and an Oscar on my mantel.

What I learned doing this assignment is to just go, go, go. Write fast, you will produce some good stuff and some crappy stuff, but that is okay, you’ll fix it later.

This process is giving me the encouragement to write when I don’t have a lot of time and would normally forego trying. I enjoy writing this way and am finding nuggets of good writing along the way.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s First Scene!

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer with many successful movies produced and an Oscar on my mantel.

The process worked much better than I anticipated. I knew I had a few questions about the scene I started with so I had low expectations that I’d be able to crank a decent scene out quickly, but I did. And I solved my issues with it in the process.

What I learned doing this assignment is just putting words on paper and getting the mind flowing can help solve issues and spark creativity.

[Linda Kish]

I’m quite late to the party, but would be great to exchange outlines if anyone is still interested.

Title: Rise of the Falcon

Genre: Action Thriller

Concept: Born into the cartel, all he’s ever wanted is freedom. Now’s his chance – the head of the cartel is dying and puts his succession up for competition. But can this low-level worker win against ruthless heavyweights who are coming after his family, a point system that rewards heinous crimes, and morals that he swore he’d never cross?

[Linda Kish]

Module #4 / Lesson #10: Linda Fascinating Scene Outlines!

Linda’s Scene Requirements!

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer with many successful movies produced and an Oscar on my mantel.

What I learned doing this assignment is this is a great way to ensure interest techniques are built into every scene.

Act 1: Joaquin is summoned to cartel HQ and subject to anonymous threats against him and his family.

INT. CARTEL DRUG FACTORY – DAY

· Beginning: (Uncomfortable moment) Joaquin, a low-level cartel worker, called a falcon, and his co-workers are suffering the brutal leader.

<div>· Middle: (Superior position) Undetected, Joaquin plays an underhanded prank on the leader, humiliating him. </div>

· Ending: (Suspense) He threatens he’ll beat them all until someone confesses.

EXT. MEXICAN LANDSCAPE / CARTEL DRUG FACTORY – DAY

· Beginning: (Intrigue) A cartel convoy drives through a small town.

· Middle: (Superior position) Pulls up to the fenced in drug factory. The gate opens.

· Ending: (Suspense) Dante, the cartel drug lord’s second in command, climbs out of the jeep, an automatic weapon slung over his shoulder.

INT. CARTEL DRUG FACTORY – DAY

· Beginning: (Uncertainty) The brutal leader demands to know who pranked him.

· Middle: (Major twist) Dante enters with an order for Joaquin to go with him to the cartel leader’s compound. (Misinterpretation) Before they leave, Joaquin’s friend is wrongly accused of doing the prank.

· Ending: (Major twist) Dante kills him with one shot.

INT. TRUCK – DAY

· Beginning: (Internal dilemma) Joaquin is torn up about his friend dying as a result of his actions, but can’t show it.

· Middle: (Mislead) Dante converses with Joaquin (intrigue) without revealing too much about the purpose of the summons. It puts Joaquin at some ease until he realizes…

· Ending: (Major twist, reveal) …they are headed to his house.

EXT. JOAQUIN’S HOME – DAY

· Beginning: (Suspense) Modest and rundown, the outside of the home is punctuated by a makeshift gun range in the desert yard. Tomas, Joaquin’s son (16), is shooting tin cans with good aim.

· Middle: (External dilemma) Joaquin waves him inside, but Dante instructs him to keep shooting and tells his father to go inside and pack.

· Ending: (Uncertainty, suspense) As Tomas focuses on his shooting, Dante takes the automatic weapon off his shoulder. (surprise) Hands it to Tomas with some pointers and tells him to shoot it.

INT. JOAQUIN’S HOME – DAY

· Beginning: (Mystery) Camila grills Joaquin on why they are being summoned. He tells her he will sacrifice himself to protect them.

· Middle: (Uncomfortable moment) Dante and Tomas walk in. Isabel (15) in short shorts and a crop top catches Dante’s eye. Joaquin instructs Isabel to change and pack clothing.

· Ending: (Suspense) He sneaks a few minutes to warn his children to do what he taught them and keep their heads down. He has Tomas memorize the number of a cousin across the border and to call him if anything happens to Joaquin.

EXT. CARTEL HEADQUARTERS IN MEXICAN CITY – DAY

· Beginning: (Suspense, uncertainty) The drug lord’s inner circle file into the compound. Dante pulls up with Joaquin and family.

· Middle: (Intrigue) Arturo, an inner circle member, lingers by the jeep as Camila disembarks. They make eye contact, he nods. She hooks her arm around her husband’s and hurries away.

· Ending: (Suspense) Arturo catches Dante unable to keep his eyes off Isabel. (Mystery) Remarks that she looks just like Camila did at her age – she grew up down the street from him – hard for a man to walk away from that.

INT. JOAQUIN FAMILY TEMPORARY RESIDENCE – DAY

· Beginning: (Surprise) Dante shows each family member their room.

· Middle: (Suspense) As he and Joaquin leave to go to the drug lord’s compound…

· Ending: (Cliffhanger) Isabel finds a letter addressed to her on the bureau in her room. Opens it and is terrified.

INCITING INCIDENT

INT. RODRIGO’S COMPOUND – DAY

· Beginning: (Mystery) A friendly gathering of cartel leaders. Why was Joaquin invited?

· Middle: (Major twist) Rodrigo, the drug lord, announces he is dying and there will be a competition for his successor. Points awarded based on activities that promote his infamy.

· Ending: (Cliffhanger) Who will win? What will they have to do to win? Will Joaquin join the competition?

INT. RODRIGO’S COMPOUND SITTING ROOM – DAY

· Beginning: (Intrigue) Rodrigo summons Joaquin to his sitting room.

· Middle: (Surprise) Joaquin’s father was Rodrigo’s bodyguard and died trying to protect him. Unbeknownst to Joaquin, Rodrigo promised to protect him. His son was killed, Joaquin closest thing he has to a son. (Mystery) Mention of his father is triggering for Joaquin.

· Ending: (Major twist) Won’t be possible to protect him from the grave so he brought Joaquin to help him secure a good position in the new organization.

EXT. RODRIGO’S COMPOUND PATIO – DAY

· Beginning: (Internal dilemma) During lunch with Arturo, Rodrigo belittles Joaquin. He’d hoped he could be his successor, but not a leader. Explains what it takes to protect the cartel. Joaquin takes it on the chin.

· Middle: (Surprise, Mislead) Will have to hang his hat on loyalty. Arturo will take him under his wing.

· Ending: (Mystery) Rodrigo triggered by seeing US Director of Border Patrol, Maritza Montoya on TV.

EXT. STREET – DAY

· Beginning: (Mislead) As Arturo empathizes with Joaquin, (Major twist) he starts hallucinating.

· Middle: (Betrayal, Reveal) Arturo prods Joaquin to get mad at Rodrigo and enter the competition to show him what he can do.

· Ending: (Uncertainty) Joaquin is smart in how he answers/doesn’t answer.

INT. DINNER TABLE – NIGHT

· Beginning: (Intrigue) Joaquin draws out of his family…

· Middle: (Mystery) …that an anonymous letter was left for Isabel from someone claiming he will be the next drug lord and…

· Ending: (Cliffhanger) …take Isabel as his wife.

EXT. TOWN SQUARE – DAY

· Beginning: (Interesting setting) Arturo has a hallucination…

· Middle: (Major twist) …and takes aim at Tomas.

· Ending: (Uncertainty, Suspense) Joaquin risks his life to save him.

EXT. CANTINA – NIGHT

· Beginning: (Mislead) A cartel hang out. Joaquin meets up with an old friend.

· Middle: (External dilemma) Dante’s brother, Luis, harasses a young woman. Joaquin’s friend stops him from interfering.

· Ending: (External dilemma) The friend says someone has to do something about the competition and begs him to convince Rodrigo to stop the competition and appoint a less threatening drug lord.

INT. JOAQUIN’S TEMPORARY RESIDENCE – NIGHT

· Beginning: (Uncomfortable moment, Major twist) In bathtub, Camila sees someone in the house watching her.

· Middle: (Suspense) She searches the house, but no one is there.

· Ending: (Surprise, Cliffhanger) Joaquin comes home to her shaking. Joaquin reveals there is a trap door that leads to the tunnels.

INT. TUNNEL – NIGHT

· Beginning: (Interesting setting) Joaquin searches the tunnels.

· Middle: (Suspense, Mislead) Hears Dante. (Uncertainty) Hides.

· Ending: (Major twist) Finds C4. (Cliffhanger) Hammers nails into the stairs/railing.

EXT. JOAQUIN’S TEMPORARY RESIDENCE TOMAS’ ROOM – DAY

· Beginning: (Mislead) Tomas playing a video game and quickly shuts it down when his father walks in.

· Middle: (Reveal) Joaquin demands to see the game. Discovers it is a cartel recruiting video that was anonymously sent to Tomas. (Character changes radically) Joaquin goes ballistic.

· Ending: (Surprise) Joaquin tells Tomas he’s been working on a plan to get him into college in the US. Tomas doesn’t want to go, they get into a fight and he lashes out at his dad – how can he expect Tomas to leave when he never left himself.

INT. RODRIGO’S SITTING ROOM – DAY

· Beginning: (Mislead) Joaquin sits with Rodrigo as he rehashes his life with Joaquin’s father.

· Middle: (Misinterpretation) Joaquin seeks information about the point system and competitors.

· Ending: (Uncomfortable moment) Joaquin tells Rodrigo he needs to leave as he has somewhere he needs to be.

EXT. COMPETING DRUG CARTEL LAB – NIGHT

· Beginning: (Mystery) Under cloak of a hood and dark clothing…

· Middle: (Suspense) …a man sets C4 around the perimeter of the lab.

· Ending: (Superior position, Surprise) The man is Joaquin. He sets it off and the lab explodes.

TP 1: Joaquin enters the competition to become the next drug lord.

INT. RODRIGO’S COMPOUND – DAY

· Beginning: (Superior position) Rodrigo questioning who blew up their competitors drug lab as Joaquin enters. He tries to speak up but is silenced.

· Middle: (External dilemma) Joaquin demands to be heard. Shows proof he blew up the lab and has entered the competition.

· Ending: (Surprise) Rodrigo declares it a death sentence.

ACT 2: Joaquin struggles with his morals as he tries to navigate the competition without crossing lines he can’t live with.

EXT. CITY SQUARE – NIGHT

· Beginning: (Suspense) Dante brutally murders two of the biggest local threats to their drug trade.

· Middle: (Uncomfortable moment) Leaves their bodies on a bench in the square with a signature symbol so everyone knows he gets the credit.

· Ending: (Uncertainty) Dante awarded big points and goes way ahead in the competition.

INT. JOAQUIN’S TEMPORARY RESIDENCE – DAY

· Beginning: (Betrayal) Camila begs Joaquin to back out of the competition. He’s trying to protect his family.

· Middle: (Internal dilemma) Asks him if he can compromise his morals because that’s the only way he can win.

· Ending: (Character changes radically) Storms out, accuses his wife of having no faith in him.

INT. CANTINA – DAY

· Beginning: (Intrigue) Dante stops talking as Joaquin walks by.

· Middle: (Suspense) Arturo taunts Joaquin by questioning what Dante is hiding, mentioning his interest in Isabel.

· Ending: (Major twist, Cliffhanger) Warns him that if anyone else wants to win, they will have to kill Dante. Wants to work together to kill him.

EXT. PRISON – NIGHT

· Beginning: (Suspense, Mislead) Arturo breaks a high-profile drug cartel member out of prison.

· Middle: (Reveal) The freed prisoner is his father.

· Ending: (Intrigue) Father learns of Joaquin and demands to know what his son is going to do about him. Warns his son not to underestimate him, his father was his rival and the reason he wasn’t drug lord.

EXT. CANTINA

· Beginning: (Mislead) Arturo has a hallucination and wrecks havoc among the community.

· Middle: (Superior position) Joaquin studies him.

· Ending: (Character changes radically) Arturo’s father beats him out of the hallucination.

EXT. MARKET – DAY

· Beginning: (Mislead) Joaquin tells his “friend” he’d rather Dante win than Arturo and Dante’s best move would be to bribe the other competitors to join his team rather than compete against him. Swears him to secrecy about what he said.

· Middle: (Betrayal) Joaquin leaves the cantina and his friend tells Dante what he said.

· Ending: (Reveal) It was a test, Joaquin is watching from out of sight.

EXT. JOAQUIN’S TEMPORARY RESIDENCE – DAY

· Beginning: (Internal/External dilemma) Camila asks Arturo about Dante, is afraid for her daughter. Arturo feeds into her fear – he takes what he wants and no one will stop him.

· Middle: (Uncomfortable moment, Intrigue) Joaquin catches Camila and Arturo close together.

· Ending: (Betrayal) Camila reveals their prior relationship to Joaquin who is furious and feels betrayed that she never told him.

INT. RODRIGO’S COMPOUND PATIO – DAY

· Beginning: (Uncertainty) Joaquin delivers a newspaper with the competition as the headline.

· Middle: (Surprise) Rodrigo is not impressed, he’s furious. It describes the competition in a cheesy light, not building his infamy.

· Ending: (Major twist) No points for Joaquin.

EXT. RODRIGO’S COMPOUND OPEN AREA – DAY

· Beginning: (Suspense) The big board of points is updated and Dante and Arturo are way ahead of Joaquin.

· Middle: (Intrigue) Arturo conspires with one of his men to force Joaquin to cross his moral boundaries.

· Ending: (Misinterpretation) Joaquin misinterprets something Arturo does or says that sends him in the wrong direction.

INT. DRUG LAB – NIGHT

· Beginning: (Intrigue) Joaquin receives a message, allegedly from Rodrigo…

· Middle: (Suspense) …arrives where he tells him to go. It’s a set up. Joaquin is trapped…

· Ending: (Character changes radically) …has no choice but to kill.

ACT 3: Joaquin battles to win points.

EXT. MARKET – DAY

· Beginning: (Superior) Arturo makes sure Camila knows Joaquin committed murder.

· Middle: (External dilemma, Uncomfortable moment) Afraid Joaquin will see them together, she tries to extricate herself from the conversation, but Arturo won’t leave.

· Ending: (Reveal) Hash out their relationship – she left b/c of who Arturo became. He insists Joaquin is no different than him.

INT. / EXT. JOAQUIN’S TEMPORARY RESIDENCE – DAY

· Beginning: (Mislead) Isabel is headed to a party.

· Middle: (Major twist) Arturo tells Joaquin he overheard Dante talking about Isabel and she is in trouble.

· Ending: (Suspense, Reveal) Joaquin tracks down the location of the party. Luis has her trapped. Joaquin barges in and Luis flees.

EXT. RIVAL CARTEL DRUG LAB – NIGHT

· Beginning: (Suspense) Joaquin finds Luis and follows him to the neighboring cartel.

· Middle: (Major twist) Kills him and other cartel members.

· Ending: (Cliffhanger) As Luis dies, he warns Joaquin that Dante will never let him live.

INT. RODRIGO’S LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

· Beginning: (External dilemma, Superior position) As Joaquin enters, Rodrigo is interrogating the competitors as to who started the war with the competing cartel.

· Middle: (Surprise, Suspense, Misinterpretation) One of the competitors takes credit. Dante questions why he killed his brother. Terror on his face when he realizes Luis was killed.

· Ending: (Suspense, Uncertainty, Character changes radically) Joaquin calls the man out and proves with pictures that he did it and to Dante’s face explains why.

EXT. RODRIGO’S HOUSE – NIGHT

· Beginning: (Suspense) Dante follows Joaquin out of the compound.

· Middle: (Mislead) Corners Joaquin about his brother’s death.

· Ending: (Reveal, Major twist) Offers Joaquin a position in his organization if he drops out.

EXT. MEXICO BEACH – NIGHT

· Beginning: (Mislead) On senior spring break, a group of teenagers party on the beach.

· Middle: (Suspense, Reveal) Dante and his team kidnap the kids.

· Ending: (Major twist) Several of the children are from some of the richest families in the US.

INT. RODRIGO COMPOUND – DAY

· Beginning: (Major twist) Rodrigo praises Dante. The ransom they’re asking would be the highest ever paid. Rodrigo indicates that if he succeeds it will be next to impossible for anyone to unseat him as the winner of the competition.

· Middle: (Intrigue) The kidnapping is all over the US news and they have linked it to the competition. Maritza, DHS, refuses to say Rodrigo’s name and calls him a coward for what he is doing.

· Ending: (Character changes radically, Suspense) Rodrigo throws his plate, shattering it. Joaquin attempts to clean it up, but he orders his nurse to do it. Lectures Joaquin – to lead the cartel you must demand respect.

INT. BUSY CANTINA – DAY

· Beginning: (Intrigue) Arturo chooses a time when Joaquin is dining with his children to demand the owner succumb to his request to launder money through there.

· Middle: (External dilemma) Isabel wants Joaquin to step in and help the owner.

· Ending: (Major twist) Joaquin tries to make Arturo think he’s hallucinating to help the owner out of the situation, but it doesn’t work and he shoots up the place.

EXT. DARK STREET – NIGHT

· Beginning: (Intrigue) Dante sneaks up on Joaquin again and lets him know he knows he was trying to manipulate Arturo.

· Middle: (Suspense) Joaquin alludes to his concern that Arturo has a plan up his sleeve that may take them all down. Dante assures him that won’t happen, that he’ll be the victor.

· Ending: (Mislead) Joaquin seemingly accepts Dante’s offer to give up in exchange for a high ranking position in his organization.

EXT. JOAQUIN’S TEMPORARY RESIDENCE – DAY

· Beginning: (Intrigue) Joaquin asks Arturo why he spends so much time near their residence.

· Middle: (Mislead) Arturo explains he’s trying to protect his family in loyalty to Rodrigo.

· Ending: (Intrigue, Cliffhanger, Reveal) Joaquin taunts him with Dante’s ace in the hole if he gets the ransom money. Alludes to being positioned well if that happens. Gets Arturo to make a slight slip up about the stalking of his family.

INT. JOAQUIN’S TEMPORARY RESIDENCE – DAY

· Beginning: (Intrigue) Joaquin holds a family meeting to tell them he knows how to win but has to leave town to execute it.

· Middle: (Internal dilemma, Character changes radically) Tells Tomas his father wanted him to leave the cartel, but he was too scared, they fought about it the day his father was killed. It was his fault his father was distracted. Tomas is right, he’s always been too afraid, but this time he has to stand up and protect his family no matter what it takes.

· Ending: (Suspense) Joaquin leaves through the underground tunnel. Boards up the door so the stalker would have to make a lot of noise to get back in, giving his family time to escape.

INT. UNDERGROUND TUNNEL – DAY

· Beginning: (Suspense) Joaquin crosses paths with smugglers.

· Middle: (Uncertainty) They chase him through the tunnel. Fire at him. He tries to evade them by turning back around in the tunnel.

· Ending: (Cliffhanger) He’s trapped without a place to hide.

INT. JOAQUIN’S TEMPORARY RESIDENCE – NIGHT

· Beginning: (Intrigue) Distant cousin calls to say Joaquin never made it to his house. Camila didn’t know he was going to US.

· Middle: (Mislead) Camila and kids keep trying to reach him, but no answer.

· Ending: (Surprise, Cliffhanger) A knock on the door.

INT. UNDERGROUND TUNNEL – DAY

· Beginning: (Major twist) Joaquin comes face to face with the last smuggler he hasn’t killed and realizes he’s from the same cartel.

· Middle: (Mislead) Joaquin agrees to help him get the drugs where they need to go so the smuggler won’t be killed. Joaquin realizes he lost his phone. Tries to call wife on other guys phone, but no signal – can use it when they get out of the tunnel.

· Ending: (Cliffhanger) Transporting the drugs through the tunnels.

EXT. JOAQUIN’S TEMPORARY RESIDENCE – DAY

· Beginning: (Intrigue) Arturo at Camila’s door, asking for Joaquin.

· Middle: (External dilemma, Major twist) Camila notices his hands are bloody and realizes he’s her stalker. She tells him Joaquin is visiting a relative but will be home soon.

· Ending: (Suspense, Major twist) Camila sneaks out to follow Arturo and the man he came to her house with. Hears him talking about killing Joaquin when they find him.

INT. RODRIGO COMPOUND – DAY

· Beginning: (Mislead) Camila and the kids were invited by Rodrigo to a celebration.

· Middle: (Major twist) Rodrigo announces he’s cutting competition short: 36 hours and he will announce the winner.

· Ending: (Intrigue) Arturo promises Camila he will win. She is panicked.

EXT. UNDERGROUND TUNNEL – DAY

· Beginning: (Surprise) Joaquin and the smuggler come out of the tunnel and run right into border patrol.

· Middle: (Suspense) Chase.

· Ending: (External dilemma) Joaquin and the smuggler are trapped.

ACT 4: The final showdown and announcement of the new drug lord

INT. ARTURO’S HOUSE – NIGHT

· Beginning: (Mystery) The kids are panicked about their father. Rumblings at the party that one of the other competitors may have killed him. Camila assures them he is fine.

· Middle: (Intrigue, Internal dilemma) Camila tries to find out if Arturo did anything to her husband or knows anything about his whereabouts. He’s heard nothing, but implies that he could be in trouble when he gets back.

· Ending: (External dilemma, Betrayal) She makes a deal with the devil and sleeps with Arturo to save her husband from his wrath.

EXT. STASH HOUSE FOR THE KIDNAPPED TEENAGERS – NIGHT

· Beginning: (Mislead) Dante awaits the ransom.

· Middle: (Suspense, Uncertainty) Gets confirmation of it from two parents, not others.

· Ending: (External dilemma, Cliffhanger) Dante orders the kids whose parents paid for their release to be drug mules for his cartel or they and their loved ones will be killed. (Surprise) To prove he will follow through, he executes one of the kids whose parents didn’t pay yet.

INT. MIGRANT DETENTION CENTER – NIGHT

· Beginning: (Superior position, Suspense) Joaquin is in a migrant detention center.

· Middle: (Intrigue) Joaquin is escorted to the offices.

· Ending: (Major twist, Cliffhanger) Maritza, DHS enters.

INT. CANTINA – DAY

· (Haven’t figured out the beginning, middle and ending of this one yet): In one of his “hallucinations,” Arturo kills Dante in a safe zone.

EXT. CANTINA – DAY

· Beginning: (External dilemma) Camila stumbles upon the aftermath of Arturo killing Dante. He begs her to stay with him, says it was the hallucinations.

· Middle: (Uncertainty) Arturo is a mess, doesn’t know what’s real and what’s not anymore.

· Ending: (Reveal) Camila realizes Joaquin set him up.

EXT. MIGRANT DETENTION CENTER – DAY

· (There is no beginning, middle and end to this one, it’s simply this): (Intrigue) Joaquin is escorted out of the migrant detention center with a group of men.

INT. JOAQUIN’S TEMPORARY RESIDENCE – DAY

· Beginning: (Intrigue) Arturo tells Camila he’s learned that Joaquin is dead. He’s there to comfort her.

· Middle: (Internal dilemma) She doesn’t know what to believe, but if he’s dead, she believes Arturo killed him.

· Ending: (External dilemma, Misinterpretation) Arturo insists Dante did it before he died. He promises to take care of her and her children and prods her to bring them to live in his house where he can protect them as he gets announced as the victor.

EXT. RODRIGO’S COMPOUND – NIGHT

· Beginning: (Major twist, Uncertainty) Rodrigo is about to announce the winner is Arturo when Joaquin bursts in.

· Middle: (Surprise, Superior position) He shows Rodrigo a photo of Maritza dead. Pride on Rodrigo’s face but asks his insiders for confirmation. (Reveal) Joaquin tells Arturo he knows it was him stalking his family. (Betrayal) Arturo gloats that Camila came to him, slept with him, and has always loved him.

· Ending: (Cliffhanger) Joaquin makes eye contact with his wife, a knife in his heart. (Mystery) They confirm US news report that the woman is dead and a note with her body that the killing was in honor of Rodrigo. (Suspense) Will it be enough to overtake Arturo?

EXT. RODRIGO’S COMPOUND – NIGHT

· Beginning: (Major twist) Rodrigo awards the win to Joaquin, hands him a gun and for his last order, Rodrigo orders his own execution.

· Middle: (Suspense, Surprise) Joaquin orders all the women and children out of the compound. He kills Rodrigo, then all the top competitors, including Arturo.

· Ending: (Intrigue) A woman walks in from the back under cloak of a hood, leans down to Arturo so he can see her face as he dies. (Reveal) Maritza stands up and says to Joaquin: “The teenagers are okay. (Cliffhanger) What’s our next move?”

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Scene Requirements

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer with many successful movies produced and an Oscar on my mantel.

What I learned doing this assignment is I have a number of scenes that need a lot of improvement – too many with the same answers and too many that are on the nose.

My outline is long so I’m only posting Acts 1 & 2 but have done them all.

Title: Rise of the Falcon

Genre: Action Thriller

Act 1: Joaquin is summoned to cartel HQ and subject to anonymous threats against him and his family.

INT. CARTEL DRUG FACTORY – DAY

Joaquin, a low-level cartel worker, called a falcon, and his co-workers are suffering the brutal leader. Undetected, Joaquin plays an underhanded prank on the leader, humiliating him. He threatens he’ll beat them all until someone confesses.

· Scene Arc: A funny prank to brutal threat.

· Essence: Joaquin hates the cartel and underhandedly humiliates them.

· Conflict: Underhanded revenge and punishment.

· Subtext: Joaquin is smarter than the cartel leader.

· Hope/fear: We hope he gets away with it. We fear for everyone’s safety.

Deeper Layer: Joaquin hates the cartel and wants out.

EXT. MEXICAN LANDSCAPE – DAY

A cartel convoy drives through a small town. Pulls up to a fenced in warehouse. The gate opens. Dante, the cartel drug lord’s second in command, climbs out of the jeep, an automatic weapon slung over his shoulder.

· Scene Arc: A peaceful town to cartel leader arriving at drug factory where Joaquin is.

· Essence: Dante is coming to get Joaquin.

· Conflict: Is he going to use the weapon?

· Subtext: No one is going to mess with Dante.

· Hope/fear: We hope he’s a good guy. We fear he’s not.

Deeper Layer: Dante is the heir apparent to be drug lord and red herring to who is terrorizing Joaquin’s family.

INT. CARTEL DRUG FACTORY – DAY

As the victim demands to know who did it, Dante storms in with an order for Joaquin to go with him to the cartel leader’s compound. Before they leave, Joaquin’s friend is wrongly accused of doing the prank. Dante kills him with one shot.

· Scene Arc: A funny prank to an execution.

· Essence: Dante is ruthless.

· Conflict: Joaquin and the cartel leaders.

· Subtext: Joaquin hates the cartel.

· Hope/fear: We hope Joaquin gets away with it. We fear Dante will kill him.

Deeper Layer: Joaquin got his friend killed, but didn’t have the courage to fess up.

INT. TRUCK – DAY

Joaquin is distraught over this friend but can’t show it. Dante converses with Joaquin who starts to relax about his own predicament until he realizes they are headed to his house.

· Scene Arc: Traveling to headquarters to picking up his family.

· Essence: His family may be in danger too.

· Conflict: Dante driving to his house where his wife and kids are.

· Subtext: Joaquin wants to object, but afraid Dante will kill him or his family.

· Hope/fear: We hope Dante doesn’t hurt them. We fear the worst for his family.

Deeper Layer: Rodrigo is dying and the cartel order is about to change.

EXT. JOAQUIN’S HOME – DAY

Modest and rundown, the outside of the home is punctuated by a makeshift gun range in the desert yard. Tomas, Joaquin’s son (16), is shooting tin cans with good aim. Joaquin waves him inside, but Dante takes an interest in his skill and encourages him to continue.

· Scene Arc: Dante’s indifference to interest in Tomas’ skills.

· Essence: Dante takes and interest in Tomas’ skills.

· Conflict: Dante “overrules” Joaquin.

· Subtext: Dante is in charge, despite this being Joaquin’s house.

· Hope/fear: We hope Dante leaves the kid alone. We fear not.

INT. JOAQUIN’S HOME – DAY

Camila greets Dante with trepidation. In short shorts and a crop top, Isabel (15) catches Dante’s eye. Joaquin instructs Isabel to change and pack clothing. He sneaks a few minutes to warn his children to do what he taught them and keep their heads down. He has Tomas memorize the number of a distant cousin across the border and to call him if anything happens to Joaquin. Indicates to Tomas that he will sacrifice himself if need be.

· Scene Arc: Pleasantries to fearing Dante’s interest in Isabel.

· Essence: Dante is attracted to Isabel.

· Conflict: Father versus Dante’s interest in Isabel.

· Subtext: What is Dante going to do about his interest in her?

· Hope/fear: We hope Dante isn’t going to do anything inappropriate. We fear that he is.

Deeper Layer: Joaquin will need the help of the distant cousin.

EXT. CARTEL HEADQUARTERS IN MEXICAN CITY – DAY

The drug lord’s inner circle file into the compound. Dante pulls up with Joaquin and family. Arturo lingers by the jeep as Camila disembarks. They make eye contact, he nods. She hooks her arm around her husband’s and hurries away. Arturo catches Dante unable to keep his eyes off Isabel. Remarks that she looks just like Camila did at her age – she grew up down the street from him – hard for a man to walk away from that.

· Scene Arc: Danger seems to have dissipated to intrigue between Arturo and Camila.

· Essence: Arturo and Camila have a past.

· Conflict: Camila wants nothing to do with Arturo, who now seems a threat to Joaquin.

· Subtext: Arturo and Camila’s past. Arturo’s dislike for Joaquin.

· Hope/fear: We hope there is no danger in the city. We fear Arturo.

Deeper Layer: Arturo is in love with Camila. They dated until he started rising in the cartel and showed his true colors. Arturo blames Joaquin and believes he can win back Camila if he proves Joaquin is no better than him.

INT. JOAQUIN FAMILY TEMPORARY RESIDENCE – DAY

Dante shows each family member their room. As he and Joaquin leave to go to the drug lord’s compound, Isabel finds a letter addressed to her on the bureau in her room. Opens it and is terrified.

· Scene Arc: Safe in a temporary residence to a terrifying message for Isabel.

· Essence: Isabel gets a letter.

· Conflict: An ambitious cartel member has his sights on Isabel.

· Subtext: They are not safe.

· Hope/fear: We hope they are safe. We’re afraid they aren’t.

INCITING INCIDENT

INT. RODRIGO’S COMPOUND – DAY

Rodrigo, the drug lord, announces he is dying and there will be a competition for his successor. Points awarded based on activities that promote his infamy.

· Scene Arc: A friendly gathering of cartel leaders to a brutal competition for power.

· Essence: A competition for the drug lord’s successor.

· Conflict: Why was Joaquin summoned there?

· Subtext: He will join the competition.

· Hope/fear: Will he join the competition? Can he compete?

INT. RODRIGO’S COMPOUND SITTING ROOM – DAY

Joaquin’s father was Rodrigo’s bodyguard and died trying to protect him. Rodrigo promised to protect Joaquin. His son was killed, Joaquin closest to son. Won’t be possible from the grave so he brought Joaquin to help him secure a good position in the new organization. Mention of his father is triggering for Joaquin.

· Scene Arc: There to comfort Rodrigo to pushing him up the cartel ladder.

· Essence: Rodrigo trying to help Joaquin.

· Conflict: Joaquin wants nothing to do with the plan.

· Subtext: Joaquin is being pushed to make a decision about his future.

· Hope/fear: We hope Rodrigo will let him leave the cartel. We fear he won’t.

Deeper Layer: Joaquin wants out and is going to compete.

EXT. RODRIGO’S COMPOUND PATIO – DAY

During lunch with Arturo, Rodrigo belittles Joaquin. He’d hoped he could be his successor, but not a leader. Explains what it takes to protect the cartel. Joaquin takes it on the chin. Will have to hang his hat on loyalty. Rodrigo triggered by seeing US Director of Border Patrol, Maritza Montoya on TV.

· Scene Arc: Rodrigo belittling Joaquin to being triggered by Montoya.

· Essence: Running the cartel requires ruthlessness.

· Conflict: Rodrigo doesn’t believe Joaquin is capable.

· Subtext: Something happened with Montoya, which Arturo involved in.

· Hope/fear: We hope he shows Rodrigo what he can do. We fear he won’t.

EXT. STREET – DAY

Arturo prods Joaquin to get mad at Rodrigo and enter the competition to show him what he can do. Joaquin is smart in how he answers/doesn’t answer.

· Scene Arc: Arturo empathizes with Joaquin to prodding him to enter the competition.

· Essence: Arturo pushes Joaquin to enter.

· Conflict: Joaquin wants Arturo to back off.

· Subtext: Arturo’s scheme. Joaquin enters the competition.

· Hope/fear: We hope Arturo backs off. We fear Joaquin will enter.

Deeper Layer: Arturo is going to do everything he can to get Joaquin to enter the competition. Only way Joaquin can protect himself and his family is if he wins the competition and becomes drug lord.

INT. DINNER TABLE – NIGHT

Joaquin draws out of his family that an anonymous letter was left for Isabel that the writer expects to become the next drug lord and will take her as his wife.

· Scene Arc: Family dinner to contents of threatening letter.

· Essence: Possible cartel drug lord wants Isabel as his wife.

· Conflict: The family versus unknown assailant.

· Subtext: The letter is a plant for ulterior motive.

· Hope/fear: We hope they will ID the writer. We fear it’ll come out another way.

EXT. TOWN SQUARE – DAY

Arturo has a hallucination and almost kills Tomas.

· Scene Arc: Calm day to Arturo hallucinates and almost kills Tomas.

· Essence: Arturo is dangerous.

· Conflict: Arturo versus Tomas and Joaquin.

· Subtext: Arturo can’t be trusted.

· Hope/fear: We hope Tomas survives. We fear Arturo will kill him.

EXT. CANTINA – NIGHT

A cartel hang out. An old friend tells Joaquin they are all in trouble with this competition. Dante will likely win and is brutal; his brother Luis will rape every woman in the community; Arturo is a wild card and they’d have to be on-guard due to his hallucinations. He begs him to convince Rodrigo to appoint a less threatening drug lord.

· Scene Arc: Reconnect with old friend to pressure to talk to Rodrigo.

· Essence: No good scenario for the community.

· Conflict: His friend putting him in a difficult situation.

· Subtext: It’s up to Joaquin to fix this problem.

· Hope/fear: We hope he keeps his head down. We fear he won’t.

INT. JOAQUIN’S TEMPORARY RESIDENCE – NIGHT

In bathtub, Camila sees someone in the house watching her, but no one is there when she searches. Joaquin comes home to her shaking. Joaquin reveals there is a trap door that leads to the tunnels.

· Scene Arc: Relaxing to being stalked to trap door and tunnels.

· Essence: Someone is in their home, watching Camila.

· Conflict: Who is stalking and tormenting them?

· Subtext: Someone is tormenting Joaquin’s family.

· Hope/fear: We hope they figure it out soon. We fear something bad will happen.

INT. TUNNEL – NIGHT

Joaquin searches the tunnels. Hears Dante. Hides. Finds C4. Hammers nails into the stairs/railing.

· Scene Arc: Searching empty tunnels to hearing Dante to finding C4.

· Essence: Red herring.

· Conflict: Will Joaquin get caught?

· Subtext: Believe the stalker is Dante.

· Hope/fear: We hope Joaquin stays safe. We fear he’ll get caught and killed.

EXT. SOCCER FIELD – DAY

Joaquin stumbles into a conversation between Dante and Tomas about joining the cartel. Joaquin tells Tomas he’s been working on a plan to get him into college in the US. Tomas doesn’t want to go, they get into a fight and he lashes out at his dad – how can he expect Tomas to leave when he never left himself.

· Scene Arc: Dante recruiting Tomas to Joaquin’s wound.

· Essence: Joaquin talks a big game, but never leaves.

· Conflict: Will Tomas join the cartel against his father’s wishes?

· Subtext: Joaquin’s wound has to do with leaving the cartel.

· Hope/fear: We hope Tomas listens to his father. We fear he won’t.

Deeper Layer: Arturo is luring Joaquin into the competition by making him fearful of Dante, while also avoiding Camila knowing that he is the one terrorizing her family.

INT. RODRIGO’S SITTING ROOM – DAY

Joaquin sits with Rodrigo as he rehashes his life with Joaquin’s father. Joaquin seeks information about the point system and competitors but is antsy to leave.

· Scene Arc: Bonding moment to intrigue about Joaquin’s motives.

· Essence: Joaquin is learning all he can to have leg up in the competition.

· Conflict: Rodrigo feels Joaquin is being disrespectful.

· Subtext: Joaquin is going to enter the competition.

· Hope/fear: We hope he doesn’t piss off Rodrigo. We fear he will.

EXT. COMPETING DRUG CARTEL LAB – NIGHT

Under cloak of a hood and dark clothing, a man sets C4 around the perimeter of the lab. Sets it off and the lab explodes.

· Scene Arc: Dark calm night to explosion.

· Essence: A drug lab is blown up.

· Conflict: Who the perpetrator get caught?

· Subtext: It is Joaquin.

· Hope/fear: We fear he will get caught. We hope he doesn’t.

TP 1: Joaquin enters the competition to become the next drug lord.

INT. RODRIGO’S COMPOUND – DAY

Joaquin shows Rodrigo proof he blew up the lab and has entered the competition. Rodrigo declares it a death sentence.

· Scene Arc: Success to prediction it’ll be his death sentence.

· Essence: Joaquin gets his first points and is in the competition.

· Conflict: Rodrigo is fighting him on his entry.

· Subtext: Is Joaquin going to be killed?

· Hope/fear: We aren’t sure whether we want him in the competition or not.

ACT 2: Joaquin struggles with his morals as he tries to navigate the competition without crossing lines he can’t live with.

EXT. CITY SQUARE – NIGHT

Dante kills two of the biggest local threats to their drug trade – hangs their bodies, generating the first big points of the competition.

– Scene Arc: Ruthless killing to points in the competition.

· Essence: To gain big points you have to be ruthless.

· Conflict: Joaquin has no chance of winning.

· Subtext: Joaquin has to be ruthless to win.

· Hope/fear: We hope he doesn’t cross a moral line. We fear he will.

INT. JOAQUIN’S TEMPORARY RESIDENCE – DAY

Camila begs Joaquin to back out of the competition – he can’t win because he won’t compromise his morals.

· Scene Arc: Camila listens to Joaquin’s plan to begging him not to.

· Essence: Joaquin has never killed or even injured a man.

· Conflict: In order to protect his family, he’ll have to sacrifice his morals.

· Subtext: Joaquin has made up his mind.

· Hope/fear: We hope he listens to her. We fear he won’t.

INT. CANTINA – DAY

Dante stops talking as Joaquin walks by. Arturo taunts Joaquin by questioning what Dante is hiding, mentioning his interest in Isabel. Warns him that if anyone else wants to win, they will have to kill Dante.

· Scene Arc: Dante is being secretive to someone has to kill him.

· Essence: Arturo is pushing Joaquin to kill Dante.

· Conflict: Who will kill and who will be killed? Joaquin doesn’t want to hear Arturo.

· Subtext: It’ll be between these three.

· Hope/fear: We hope Joaquin can kill Dante, and Arturo. We fear he can’t.

EXT. PRISON – NIGHT

Arturo breaks a high-profile drug cartel member out of prison, his father.

· Scene Arc: Cartel member locked up to free.

· Essence: Arturo is on the board with points.

· Conflict: Arturo versus guards.

· Subtext: Father has sway in the cartel and will fight for Arturo to lead.

· Hope/fear: We hope they won’t be too powerful. We fear they will.

EXT. CANTINA

Arturo has a hallucination and wrecks havoc among the community. Joaquin stops him, but in the process almost gets himself killed.

· Scene Arc: Arturo hallucinates, his father laughs to Joaquin as hero.

· Essence: Arturo has a long-term obsession with Camila and plan to get her back.

· Conflict: Will Arturo kill someone?

· Subtext: Arturo is behind

· Hope/fear: We hope Arturo doesn’t kill someone? We fear he will.

Deeper Level: Joaquin is going to make Arturo think his hallucinations are getting worse and he’s losing it.

EXT. MARKET – DAY

Joaquin tells his “friend” he’d rather Dante win than Arturo and Dante’s best move would be to bribe the other competitors to join his team rather than compete against him. Swears him to secrecy about what he said.

– Scene Arc: Confiding to a friend to surprise he wants Dante to win.

· Essence: Joaquin is testing his friend.

· Conflict: Will his friend tell Dante?

· Subtext: Will his friend betray him and will it get Dante to back off?

· Hope/fear: We hope this gets Dante to back off. We fear it won’t.

INT. CANTINA – DAY

The “friend” betrays Joaquin’s confidence and tells Dante who convinces competitors to drop out and he’ll give them promotions in his organization when he takes over. Going to increase drug production in his facilities to gain more points.

· Scene Arc: Friend betrays Joaquin to he set him up.

· Essence: Joaquin now knows he can’t trust his friend.

· Conflict: His friend betrayed him.

· Subtext: Joaquin is outwitting his competitors.

· Hope/fear: We hope Joaquin can keep his knowledge under wraps. We fear he won’t.

INT. RODRIGO’S COMPOUND – DAY

Rodrigo summons Joaquin. He’s pissed more of his crew aren’t racking up points – for his infamy they all need to participate. Wants to know if Joaquin knows why, which he does, but he doesn’t want to tell Rodrigo b/c he sparked it and it helps him limit the number of competitors.

· Scene Arc: Rodrigo wants some intel from Joaquin, who lies to him.

· Essence: Joaquin is silently standing up to Rodrigo and Dante.

· Conflict: Will he tell Rodrigo the truth?

· Subtext: Joaquin is a puppet master.

· Hope/fear: We hope this doesn’t bite him. We fear it will.

EXT. JOAQUIN’S TEMPORARY RESIDENCE – DAY

Camila asks Arturo about Dante, is afraid for her daughter. Arturo feeds into her fear – he takes what he wants and no one will stop him. Joaquin catches Camila and Arturo close together.

· Scene Arc: Camila asking Dante for help to Joaquin catching them together.

· Essence: This past relationship is trouble.

· Conflict: Arturo is coming between them.

· Subtext: Camila is hiding their past.

· Hope/fear: We hope she doesn’t make a mistake. We fear she will.

INT. JOAQUIN’S TEMPORARY RESIDENCE – DAY

She reveals their prior relationship to Joaquin who is furious and feels betrayed. They argue over it and Joaquin’s ability to win without compromising his morals.

· Scene Arc: Concern to betrayal.

· Essence: Joaquin and Camila had a serious relationship.

· Conflict: Is the past over?

· Subtext: Arturo is behind the stalking.

· Hope/fear: We fear this will break them up. We hope not.

INT. RODRIGO’S COMPOUND PATIO – DAY

Joaquin delivers a newspaper with the competition as the headline. Rodrigo is not impressed, in fact, he’s furious. It describes the competition in a cheesy light, not building his infamy. No points for Joaquin.

· Scene Arc: Joaquin completes another point getter to no points.

· Essence: Joaquin can’t win w/o compromising his morals.

· Conflict: Joaquin has now pissed off Rodrigo.

· Subtext: What is Rodrigo going to do?

· Hope/fear: We hope Rodrigo will forgive. We fear he won’t.

EXT. RODRIGO’S COMPOUND OPEN AREA – DAY

The big board of points is updated and Dante and Arturo are way ahead of Joaquin. Rodrigo announces that he will kill anyone who conspires together to win points. Defying him, Arturo conspires with one of his men to force Joaquin to cross his moral boundaries.

· Scene Arc: Joaquin is behind in points to his life is in danger.

· Essence: Arturo is coming for him.

· Conflict: Will Arturo kill him?

· Subtext: Arturo is the one pulling the strings.

· Hope/fear: We hope Joaquin discovers what Arturo is up to.

Mid-Point: Joaquin is backed into a corner and must kill or be killed. He makes his first kill and more points.

INT. DRUG LAB – NIGHT

Joaquin receives a message, allegedly from Rodrigo, and goes to where he tells him. It’s a set up. Joaquin is trapped, has no choice but to kill.

· Scene Arc: A meeting to a set up to a killing.

· Essence: Joaquin kills a man.

· Conflict: Joaquin is set up and backed into a corner.

· Subtext: Arturo accomplished what he set out to do.

· Hope/fear: We hope Joaquin gets out safely. We fear for his life and his morals.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Intriguing Moments!

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer with many successful movies produced and an Oscar on my mantel.

What I learned doing this assignment is how to easily flip an average drama scene into intrigue.

ACT 1:

Mystery: Why is Joaquin and his family being summoned to headquarters by the drug lord?

Covert Agenda: Joaquin wants his family to keep their heads down and if something happens to him to disappear. He gives them the plan.

Hidden Identity: Joaquin is unaware that he is going to enter the competition, win and become drug lord.

Intrigue: There is something more to Arturo and Camila, but we don’t know what it is.

Scheme: Arturo is stalking Joaquin and his family, trying to push him into the competition.

Mystery: What happened to his father?

Superior Position: Put nails in stairs leading into their house to catch who is peeping on them.

Mystery: Why is Joaquin sensitive when Tomas brings up his father?

Cover Up: Joaquin blows up a competitor’s drug lab, concealing that he/his cartel is behind it.

ACT 2:

Covert Agenda: Arturo befriends Joaquin to keep his enemy close.

Intrigue: Dante clams up when Joaquin walks into places. He is buying off his competitors and afraid Joaquin will tell Rodrigo.

Scheme: Joaquin gets Dante to bring him into his confidence about his scheme.

Cover Up: Since it benefits him, Joaquin keeps Dante’s secret from Rodrigo.

Secret: Camila hides her past relationship with Arturo.

Conspiracy/Scheme: Arturo conspires to force Joaquin to cross his moral boundaries and kill a man.

ACT 3:

Cover Agenda: Arturo tries to win Camila back by showing her that her husband is no better morally.

Scheme: Arturo feeds Joaquin more reason to believe Dante is the one after his family.

Hidden Identity: Joaquin follows Luis, murders him and others.

Conspiracy: Dante offers Joaquin a high position in his organization if he drops out of the competition.

Intrigue: What is Maritza going to do to try to stop the cartel?

Conspiracy: Arturo conspires to have Joaquin killed.

Superior Position/Cover Up: Joaquin makes Dante think he’s accepting his offer.

Mystery: What is Joaquin’s plan and where is he going?

ACT 4:

Secret: Joaquin travels the tunnels to US.

Intrigue: Joaquin makes a deal with the smugglers, but what is her really doing?

Covert Agenda/Scheme/Cover Up: Camila makes a deal with Arturo to save her husband from his wrath if he wins, which it looks like he’s going to do.

Superior Position: The competition is ending early because Rodrigo is dying and Joaquin doesn’t know.

Intrigue: Why is the director of border patrol meeting with Joaquin?

Mystery: How did Joaquin get out of the detention center? Will he make it back in time?

Covert Agenda: Arturo tells Camila her husband is dead to get her to fall for him again, and he intends to kill him as soon as his team finds him.

Hidden Identity: Joaquin announced as the winner and new drug lord.

Covert Agenda: Joaquin cleans house of the top leadership.

Secret: Maritza is alive.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Emotional Moments!

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer with many successful movies produced and an Oscar on my mantel.

What I learned doing this assignment is I can set up my emotional moments more powerfully. Just switching the order of a few scenes helped improve the emotional impact.

ACT 1:

Distress/Emotional Dilemma/Love: A cartel leader has come for Joaquin and his family.

Bonding/Wound: Rodrigo, the drug lord, announces a competition for his successor then shares with Joaquin that he owed his father, his former bodyguard a debt for saving his life, which he has been repaying by keeping Joaquin and his family safe.

Surprise: Joaquin receives an anonymous threat from a man confident he will win the competition – he suspects Dante, but it is Arturo.

Hidden Weakness/emotional dilemma: Joaquin must decide whether to enter the competition or put his fate and his family’s in the hands of the new drug lord.

Success: Joaquin blows up a competing drug cartel lab, earning his first points in the competition.

ACT 2:

Distress: Joaquin is now a target of the competitors, and the threats to his family increase.

Moral Issue: Can Joaquin win without compromising his morals, and if not, will he violate them?

Betrayal: A friend betrays his confidence to the assumed winner of the competition.

Surprise: Joaquin suspected the friend and used the betrayal he predicted to his advantage.

Betrayal: Joaquin learns his wife and Arturo had a love relationship in the past and she never told him.

Emotional Dilemma: Backed into a corner, will he kill a man or be killed?

ACT 3:

Distress: A rapist is keying in on his daughter.

Success: He kills the rapist while earning much needed points in the competition.

Emotional Dilemma: Dante offers Joaquin a position high in his organization if he drops out of the competition.

Wound/Courage: Instead of taking the offer, Joaquin is going to fight to get his family out of the cartel. His father never wanted him in it, but he wouldn’t listen to his dad and joined leading to a fight that distracted his father that night and got him killed.

Distress: Joaquin runs up against smugglers and then border patrol.

ACT 4:

Sacrifice/Betrayal: Joaquin’s wife, Camila makes a deal with the devil and sleeps with Arturo.

Distress: Looks like Arturo is going to win the competition.

Success: Joaquin arrives just in time to show he killed the director of border patrol.

Moral Issue: Rodrigo hands Joaquin a gun asking for mercy, to be put out of pain. Joaquin kills him, then all of the top competitors.

Surprise: The director of border patrol is alive.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Reveals!

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer with many successful movies produced and an Oscar on my mantel.

What I learned doing this assignment is I had a lot of reveals already built in and thought I wouldn’t get a lot out of this assignment, but found several really great reveals that are making the story stronger.

Act 1: Joaquin is summoned to cartel HQ and subject to anonymous threats against him and his family.

Joaquin PJ 1: Joaquin is working in a drug factory and underhandedly puts the nasty leader in his place / uses something he does against him / audience knows what he did, but characters don’t. Dante comes for him and his family – summoned by the drug lord to cartel headquarters.

Dante RJ 1: A friend of Joaquin’s warns him that going with Dante means death. Dante executes the friend.

Dante RJ 2: At Joaquin’s rundown home. Dante is taken aback by Isabel’s beauty (Joaquin’s daughter) and Joaquin makes her cover up.

Deeper Layer: Dante is the heir apparent to be drug lord and red herring to who is terrorizing Joaquin’s family.

Dante RJ 3: Tomas (Joaquin’s son) is taking target practice when they arrive to get him. Dante watches him shoot, he repeatedly hits the target.

Deeper Layer: Tomas will defy his father and seek to join the cartel.

Joaquin PJ 2: Camila, Joaquin’s wife is fearful. Joaquin warns his children to do what he taught them, keep their heads down. Has Tomas memorize the number of a distant cousin across the border and to call him if anything happens to Joaquin. Indicates to Tomas that he will sacrifice himself if need be.

Deeper Layer: Joaquin will need the help of the distant cousin.

Arturo AJ 1: Arturo greets them at HQ. Intrigue between him and Camila – they have a history. Doesn’t like how she looks at her husband with love, admiration and fear for him. Arturo catches Dante unable to keep his eyes off Isabel. Remarks that she looks just like Camila did at her age – hard for a man to walk away from that. Remarks that he hears Tomas is ambitious and wants to prove himself to the cartel.

Deeper Layer: Arturo is in love with Camila. They dated until he started rising in the cartel and showed his true colors. Arturo blames Joaquin and believes he can win back Camila if he proves Joaquin is no better than him.

Joaquin PJ 3: Dante escorts them to their accommodations. On the wall, “you won’t be protected forever, Joaquin.” Dante promises he’ll find out who did it.

Inciting Incident: Rodrigo, the drug lord, announces he is dying and there is a competition for his succession starting at sun up. As closest he has to family, he wanted Rodrigo there with him as he dies, but also made a promise to Joaquin’s father – who was Rodrigo’s bodyguard for years and died protecting him – that he’d protect him. No longer possible from the grave, but brought him here to introduce him to competitors so he can secure a good position in the new organization.

Deeper Layer: Joaquin is going to compete.

Joaquin PJ 4: In front of Arturo, Rodrigo puts Joaquin down for not being strong enough to lead, he had hoped he could be his successor, but not possible, not ruthless. Rodrigo plays a recorded newscast – Maritza Montoya, director of border patrol, reporting they killed Rodrigo’s son, his only family, a drug smuggler, and confiscating the biggest shipment of drugs into the US. That got Maritza promoted from working the border to director. Rodrigo got revenge – he ordered hit on her son and Arturo killed him (this is why Rodrigo lets him get away with violating cartel rules during his hallucination’s). That’s what this job takes to protect the cartel. Joaquin takes the criticism on the chin. Learns something about his competitors.

Arturo AJ 3: Arturo prods Joaquin to get mad at Rodrigo and enter the competition to show him what he can do. Joaquin is smart in how he answers/doesn’t answer. Tomas comes along and Arturo flips out, has a hallucination and almost kills him.

Deeper Layer: Arturo is going to do everything he can to get Joaquin to enter the competition. Only way Joaquin can protect himself and his family is if he wins the competition and becomes drug lord.

Arturo AJ 4: Uses the underground tunnels to get in the residence to watch Camila without her seeing him.

Joaquin PJ 5: Kids tell Joaquin Camila saw a figure in the house while she was taking a bath. Joaquin sets a trap in the tunnel – nails into the stairs/railing. While down there he hears Dante and has to hide, finds C4.

Joaquin PJ 6: An old friend tells Joaquin they are all in trouble – Dante will likely win and he is brutal; Luis, his brother will rape every woman in the community; Arturo is a wild card and they’d always have to be on-guard b/c of his hallucinations. Begs him to talk to Rodrigo and get him to appoint a less threatening drug lord.

Dante RJ 4: Joaquin stumbles into a conversation between Dante and Tomas about joining the cartel. Joaquin tells Tomas he’s been working on a plan to get him into college in the US. Tomas doesn’t want to go, get into a fight and he lashes out at his dad – how can he expect Tomas to leave when he never left himself.

Arturo AJ 5: An anonymous letter is delivered to Isabel telling her when he wins, he’ll take her as his wife. Arturo is out of town and it sounds like Dante wrote the letter.

Deeper Layer: Arturo is luring Joaquin into the competition by making him fearful of Dante, while also avoiding Camila knowing that he is the one terrorizing her family.

Joaquin P6: Joaquin sits with Rodrigo has he rehashes his life with Joaquin’s father. Joaquin seeks information about the point system and competitors but is antsy to leave.

Competing cartel drug lab blown up.

TP 1: Joaquin enters the competition to become the next drug lord. He shows Rodrigo proof he blew up the lab and has entered the competition. Rodrigo declares it a death sentence.

ACT 2: Joaquin struggles with his morals as he tries to navigate the competition without crossing lines he can’t live with.

Dante RJ 5: Dante kills two of the biggest local threats to their drug trade – hangs their bodies, generating the first big points of the competition.

Joaquin PJ 7: Camila begs Joaquin to back out of the competition – he can’t win because he won’t compromise his morals.

Arturo AJ 6: In the cantina, Dante stops talking as Joaquin walks by. Arturo taunts Joaquin by questioning what Dante is hiding, mentioning his interest in Isabel. Warns him that if anyone else wants to win, they will have to kill Dante.

Arturo AJ 7: Arturo has a hallucination and wrecks havoc among the community. Joaquin stops him, but in the process almost gets himself killed.

Deeper Level: Joaquin is going to make Arturo think his hallucinations are getting worse and he’s losing it.

Joaquin tells his “friend” he’d rather Dante win than Arturo and his best move would be to bribe the other competitors to join his team rather than compete against him. Swears him to secrecy about what he said.

Dante RJ 6: The “friend” betrays his confidence and tells Dante who convinces competitors to drop out and he’ll give them promotions in his organization when he takes over. Going to increase drug production in his facilities to gain more points.

Joaquin PJ 9: Rodrigo summons Joaquin. Is pissed more of his crew aren’t racking up points – for his infamy they all need to participate. Wants to know if Joaquin knows why, which he does, but he doesn’t want to tell Rodrigo b/c it helps him limit the number of competitors.

Arturo AJ 8: Camila asks Arturo about Dante, is afraid for her daughter. Arturo feeds into her fear – he takes what he wants and no one will stop him.

Joaquin catches Camila and Arturo close together. She reveals their prior relationship.

Dante RJ 7 and Arturo AJ 8: The big board of points is updated and Dante and Arturo are way ahead of Joaquin.

Arturo AJ 10: Arturo conspires with one of his men to force Joaquin to cross his moral boundaries.

Mid-Point: Joaquin is backed into a corner and must kill or be killed. He makes his first kill and more points.

ACT 3: Joaquin battles to win points.

Arturo AJ 11: Arturo makes sure Camila knows Joaquin committed murder. Hash out their relationship. He tries to convince her Joaquin is no different than him.

Joaquin PJ 11: Arturo tells Joaquin he overheard Dante talking about Isabel. Joaquin follows his daughter to a party to protect her, sees Luis hitting on her. Gets her out of the situation.

Joaquin PJ 12: Joaquin follows Luis, finds he is in bed with the neighboring cartel. Kills him and other cartel members. Earning significant points and seemingly making him a bigger target of Dante’s.

Deeper Layer: Dante hated his brother.

Dante corners Joaquin on his way to Rodrigo. Questions his motives. Offers Joaquin a position in his organization if he drops out.

Rodrigo is confined to bed, going downhill. News of the competition and his infamy is spreading. Maritza speaks of it, says he is a coward for wanting to take people to the grave with him just so they’ll talk about him. She refuses to speak his name, which pisses him off. Throws his plate at the TV shattering it. Joaquin attempts to clean up the plate, but he orders his nurse to do it. Lectures Joaquin that to be a leader in the cartel you must demand respect from everyone else.

Dante RJ 8 & Arturo AJ 9: Stakes are raised as Joaquin is a serious threat to win. They take more brutal actions regaining the lead.

Joaquin makes Dante think he has accepted the offer and shares his concern that Arturo may win and alludes to the fact that he intends to kill Dante.

Joaquin makes Arturo think Dante is going to immediately kill him if he wins.

Joaquin PJ 13: Tells his family he knows what he needs to do to win but has to leave town to execute it. Tells Tomas his father wanted him to leave the cartel, but he was too scared, they fought about it the day his father was killed. It was his fault his father was distracted. Tomas is right, he’s always been too afraid, but he’s not anymore, he’s fighting to get his family out.

Joaquin PJ 14: Distant cousin arranged help for him to get across the border.

Joaquin PJ 15: Joaquin crosses paths with smugglers and gets caught in the chase through an underground tunnel. Firing at him.

Joaquin PJ 16: Distant cousin calls to say Joaquin never made it to his house. She didn’t know he was going to US. Tries to reach him, but no answer.

Joaquin comes face to face with one of smugglers and realize they are same cartel. Join together. Joaquin realizes he lost his phone. Tries to call wife on other guys phone, but no signal – can use it when they get out of the tunnel.

Arturo AJ 12: Arturo conspiring with his team to find and kill Joaquin. Camila comes into the scene, sees his hands are bloody and realizes it’s been him all along.

Arturo AJ 13: Camila warns kids to be careful of Arturo and to keep their ears open like their father always taught them. Tomas wants to kill him. Camila says she’ll take care of it and not to worry.

Joaquin PJ 17: Rodrigo announces he’s cutting competition short: 24 hours he will announce the winner. Arturo is winning.

Joaquin and smugglers come out of the tunnel and run right into border patrol. Run.

ACT 4: The final showdown and announcement of the new drug lord

Joaquin PJ 18: Camila tries desperately to get in touch with Joaquin, but no response. Inquiring of others – tells them he went to US – no one has heard from him.

Arturo AJ 13: Camila makes a deal with the devil and sleeps with Arturo to save her husband from his wrath.

Dante RJ 9: Dante surges ahead of Arturo.

Joaquin is in a migrant detention center. Director of border patrol enters.

Arturo AJ 12: In one of his “hallucinations,” Arturo kills Dante in a safe zone.

Arturo AJ 13: Camila stumbles upon the aftermath of Arturo killing Dante. Arturo is a mess, doesn’t know what’s real and what’s not anymore.

Deeper Layer Reveal: Camila realizes Joaquin set Arturo up to believe his hallucinations were getting worse.

Joaquin is escorted out of the migrant detention center.

Arturo AJ 14: Arturo tells Camila he’s learned that Joaquin is dead and he is there to comfort her. She doesn’t know what to believe, but if he’s dead, she believes Arturo killed him. Arturo insists Dante did it and promises to take care of her and her children.

Joaquin PJ 20: Camila leaves Joaquin a message. We need you.

Joaquin P 21: Rodrigo is about to announce the winner is Arturo when Joaquin bursts in. You’re going to want to reconsider your decision – he shows Rodrigo a photo of the US director of border patrol dead. Pride on Rodrigo’s face but asks his team for confirmation.

Joaquin PJ 22 and Arturo 15: As team confirms US news report that the woman is dead and Joaquin left a note that he killed her in honor of Rodrigo, Joaquin tells Arturo he knows he’s been stalking his family. Arturo tells him Camila came to him, slept with him, has always loved him and how will she see Joaquin if he kills him? Joaquin makes eye contact with his wife, a knife in his heart.

Joaquin PJ 23: Rodrigo hands Joaquin a gun and for his last order, he orders him to kill him. Joaquin orders all the women and children out so they don’t have to see it. He kills them, then fires at other leading competitors, including Arturo who goes down.

Joaquin PJ 24: Orders everyone else out. A woman walks in from the back with a hood, leans down to Arturo and drops her hood. Stands up and says to Joaquin: “What’s our next move?”

Deeper Layer Reveal: Joaquin has outwitted the cartel and still maintains some of his morals.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Character Action Tracks!

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer with many successful movies produced and an Oscar on my mantel.

What I learned doing this assignment is looking at the actions of each main character separately allowed me to see places where I could take actions that created deeper meaning.

Act 1: Joaquin is summoned to cartel HQ and subject to anonymous threats against him and his family.

Joaquin PJ 1: Joaquin is working in a drug factory and underhandedly puts the nasty leader in his place / uses something he does against him / audience knows what he did, but characters don’t. Dante comes for him and his family – summoned by the drug lord to cartel headquarters.

Dante RJ 1: A friend of Joaquin’s warns him that going with Dante means death. Dante executes the friend.

Dante RJ 2: At Joaquin’s rundown home. Dante is taken aback by Isabel’s beauty (Joaquin’s daughter) and Joaquin makes her cover up.

Deeper Layer: Dante is the heir apparent to be drug lord and red herring to who is terrorizing Joaquin’s family.

Dante RJ 3: Tomas (Joaquin’s son) is taking target practice when they arrive to get him. Dante watches him shoot, he repeatedly hits the target.

Deeper Layer: Tomas will defy his father and seek to join the cartel.

Joaquin PJ 2: Camila, Joaquin’s wife is fearful. Joaquin warns his children to do what he taught them, keep their heads down. Has Tomas memorize the number of a distant cousin across the border and to call him if anything happens to Joaquin. Indicates to Tomas that he will sacrifice himself if need be.

Deeper Layer: Joaquin will need the help of the distant cousin.

Arturo AJ 1: Arturo greets them at HQ. Intrigue between him and Camila – they have a history. Doesn’t like how she looks at her husband with love, admiration and fear for him. Arturo catches Dante unable to keep his eyes off Isabel. Remarks that she looks just like Camila did at her age – hard for a man to walk away from that. Remarks that he hears Tomas is ambitious and wants to prove himself to the cartel.

Deeper Layer: Arturo is in love with Camila. They dated until he started rising in the cartel and showed his true colors. Arturo blames Joaquin and believes he can win back Camila if he proves Joaquin is no better than him.

Joaquin PJ 3: Dante escorts them to their accommodations. On the wall, “you won’t be protected forever, Joaquin.” Dante promises he’ll find out who did it.

Inciting Incident: Rodrigo, the drug lord, announces he is dying and there is a competition for his succession starting at sun up. He made a promise to Joaquin’s father – who was Rodrigo’s bodyguard for years and died protecting him – that he’d protect him. No longer possible from the grave, but brought him here to introduce him to competitors so he can secure a good position in the new organization.

Deeper Layer: Joaquin is going to compete.

Joaquin PJ 4: In front of Arturo, Rodrigo puts Joaquin down for not being strong enough to lead, he had hoped he could be his successor, but not possible, not ruthless. Rodrigo plays a recorded newscast – Maritza Montoya, director of border patrol, reporting they killed Rodrigo’s son, his only family, a drug smuggler, and confiscating the biggest shipment of drugs into the US. That got Maritza promoted from working the border to director. Rodrigo got revenge – he ordered hit on her son and Arturo killed him (this is why Rodrigo lets him get away with violating cartel rules during his hallucination’s). That’s what this job takes to protect the cartel. Joaquin takes the criticism on the chin. Learns something about his competitors.

Arturo AJ 3: Arturo prods Joaquin to get mad at Rodrigo and enter the competition to show him what he can do. Joaquin is smart in how he answers/doesn’t answer. Tomas comes along and Arturo flips out, has a hallucination and almost kills him.

Deeper Layer: Arturo is going to do everything he can to get Joaquin to enter the competition. Only way Joaquin can protect himself and his family is if he wins the competition and becomes drug lord.

Arturo AJ 4: Uses the underground tunnels to get in the residence to watch Camila without her seeing him.

Joaquin PJ 5: Kids tell Joaquin Camila saw a figure in the house while she was taking a bath. Joaquin sets a trap in the tunnel – nails into the stairs/railing. While down there he hears Dante and has to hide.

Joaquin PJ 6: An old friend tells Joaquin they are all in trouble – Dante will likely win and he is brutal; Luis, his brother will rape every woman in the community; Arturo is a wild card and they’d always have to be on-guard b/c of his hallucinations. Begs him to talk to Rodrigo and get him to appoint a less threatening drug lord.

Dante RJ 4: Joaquin stumbles into a conversation between Dante and Tomas about joining the cartel. Joaquin tells Tomas he’s been working on a plan to get him into college in the US. Tomas doesn’t want to go, get into a fight and he lashes out at his dad – how can he expect Tomas to leave when he never left himself.

Arturo AJ 5: An anonymous letter is delivered to Isabel telling her when he wins, he’ll take her as his wife. Arturo is out of town and it sounds like Dante wrote the letter.

Deeper Layer: Arturo is luring Joaquin into the competition by making him fearful of Dante, while also avoiding Camila knowing that he is the one terrorizing her family.

Joaquin P6: Joaquin seeks information about the point system and competitors. He tells Rodrigo he is entering the competition. Rodrigo declares it’s a death sentence.

TP 1: Joaquin enters the competition to become the next drug lord.

ACT 2: Joaquin struggles with his morals as he tries to navigate the competition without crossing lines he can’t live with.

Dante RJ 5: Dante kills two of the biggest local threats to their drug trade, generating the first big points of the competition.

Joaquin PJ 7: Camila begs Joaquin to back out of the competition – he can’t win because he won’t compromise his morals.

Arturo AJ 6: In the cantina, Dante stops talking as Joaquin walks by. Arturo taunts Joaquin by questioning what Dante is hiding, mentioning his interest in Isabel. Warns him that if anyone else wants to win, they will have to kill Dante.

Joaquin PJ 8: Joaquin blows up a competing cartel’s drug lab (in middle of the night when no one is there – maintaining his morals) gaining his first points. At the same time, Rodrigo is pissed so only a few points cause now they’re going to be targets of the other cartel. But Joaquin made it look like another cartel did it.

Arturo AJ 7: Arturo has a hallucination and wrecks havoc among the community. Joaquin stops him, but in the process almost gets himself killed.

Deeper Level: Joaquin is going to make Arturo think his hallucinations are getting worse and he’s losing it.

Joaquin tells his “friend” he’d rather Dante win than Arturo and his best move would be to bribe the other competitors to join his team rather than compete against him. Swears him to secrecy about what he said.

Dante RJ 6: The “friend” betrays his confidence and tells Dante who convinces competitors to drop out and he’ll give them promotions in his organization when he takes over. Going to increase drug production in his facilities to gain more points.

Joaquin PJ 9: Rodrigo summons Joaquin. Is pissed more of his crew aren’t racking up points – for his infamy they all need to participate. Wants to know if Joaquin knows why, which he does, but he doesn’t want to tell Rodrigo b/c it helps him limit the number of competitors.

Arturo AJ 8: Camila asks Arturo about Dante, is afraid for her daughter. Arturo feeds into her fear – he takes what he wants and no one will stop him.

Dante RJ 7 and Arturo AJ 8: The big board of points is updated and Dante and Arturo are way ahead of Joaquin.

Arturo AJ 10: Arturo conspires with one of his men to force Joaquin to cross his moral boundaries.

Mid-Point: Joaquin is backed into a corner and must kill or be killed. He makes his first kill and more points.

ACT 3: Joaquin battles to win points.

Arturo AJ 11: Arturo makes sure Camila knows Joaquin committed murder.

Joaquin PJ 11: Joaquin sees Luis sexually harass Isabel, which Arturo set up – he wants Dante and Luis out of the competition so if they can kill each other or Joaquin kills them, he doesn’t care.

Joaquin PJ 12: Joaquin follows Luis, finds he is in bed with the neighboring cartel. Kills him and other cartel members. Earning significant points and seemingly making him a bigger target of Dante’s.

Deeper Layer: Dante hated his brother.

Rodrigo is confined to bed, going downhill. News of the competition and his infamy is spreading. Maritza speaks of it, says he is a coward for wanting to take people to the grave with him just so they’ll talk about him. She refuses to speak his name, which pisses him off. Throws his plate at the TV shattering it. Joaquin attempts to clean up the plate, but he orders his nurse to do it. Lectures Joaquin that to be a leader in the cartel you must demand respect from everyone else.

Dante RJ 8 & Arturo AJ 9: Stakes are raised as Joaquin is a serious threat to win. They take more brutal actions regaining the lead. Joaquin underhandedly make them think they each are going to kill each other if they win so they will take each other out.

Joaquin PJ 13: Tells his family he knows what he needs to do to win but has to leave town to execute it. Tells Tomas his father wanted him to leave the cartel, but he was too scared, they fought about it the day his father was killed. It was his fault his father was distracted. Tomas is right, he’s always been too afraid, but he’s not anymore, he’s fighting to get his family out.

Joaquin PJ 14: Distant cousin arranged help for him to get across the border.

Joaquin PJ 15: Joaquin crosses paths with smugglers and gets caught in the chase through an underground tunnel. Firing at him.

Joaquin PJ 16: Distant cousin calls to say Joaquin never made it to his house. She didn’t know he was going to US. Tries to reach him, but no answer.

Arturo AJ 12: Arturo conspiring with his team to find and kill Joaquin. Camila comes into the scene, sees his hands are bloody and realizes it’s been him all along.

Arturo AJ 13: Camila warns kids to be careful of Arturo and to keep their ears open like their father always taught them. Tomas wants to kill him. Camila says she’ll take care of it and not to worry.

Joaquin PJ 17: Rodrigo announces he’s cutting competition short: 24 hours he will announce the winner. Arturo is winning.

ACT 4: The final showdown and announcement of the new drug lord

Joaquin PJ 18: Camila tries desperately to get in touch with Joaquin, but no response. Inquiring of others – tells them he went to US – no one has heard from him.

Arturo AJ 13: Camila makes a deal with the devil and sleeps with Arturo to save her husband from his wrath.

Dante RJ 9: Dante surges ahead of Arturo.

Joaquin PJ 19: In a migrant detention center. Director of border patrol enters.

Arturo AJ 12: In one of his “hallucinations,” Arturo kills Dante in a safe zone.

Arturo AJ 13: Camila stumbles upon the aftermath of Arturo killing Dante and realizes he’s been faking the hallucinations. Texts Joaquin this information.

Deeper Layer Reveal: Learn that Arturo has been faking the hallucinations.

Arturo AJ 14: Arturo tells Camila he’s learned that Joaquin is dead and he is there to comfort her. She doesn’t know what to believe, but if he’s dead, she believes Arturo killed him. Arturo insists Dante did it and promises to take care of her and her children.

Joaquin PJ 20: Camila leaves Joaquin a message. We need you.

Joaquin P 21: Rodrigo is about to announce the winner is Arturo when Joaquin bursts in. You’re going to want to reconsider your decision – he shows Rodrigo a photo of the US director of border patrol dead. Pride on Rodrigo’s face but asks his team for confirmation.

Joaquin PJ 22 and Arturo 15: As team confirms US news report that the woman is dead and Joaquin left a note that he killed her in honor of Rodrigo, Joaquin tells Arturo he knows he’s been stalking his family. Arturo tells him Camila came to him, slept with him, has always loved him and how will she see Joaquin if he kills him? Joaquin makes eye contact with his wife, a knife in his heart.

Joaquin PJ 23: Rodrigo hands Joaquin a gun and for his last order, he orders him to kill him. Joaquin orders all the women and children out so they don’t have to see it. He kills them, then fires at other leading competitors, including Arturo who goes down.

Joaquin PJ 24: Orders everyone else out. A woman walks in from the back with a hood, leans down to Arturo and drops her hood. Stands up and says to Joaquin: “What’s our next move?”

Deeper Layer Reveal: Joaquin has outwitted the cartel and still maintains some of his morals.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s New Outline Beats!

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer with many successful movies produced and an Oscar on my mantel.

What I learned doing this assignment is I was missing important beats that were necessary to tell the story emotionally.

Beats that were missing:

Need to add Joaquin’s hallucinations early on.

Need to add news of this competition and infamy spreading. Director he “kills” speaks about it on news. Perhaps she makes fun of him on TV, refuses to say his name because that is what he wants.

Director killed Rodrigo’s son, his only family, when she was working the border. Then he ordered hit on her son and Arturo killed him.

Need to set up Joaquin’s wound.

Deeper Layer: Tomas will defy his father and seek to join the cartel.

Joaquin learns things from Rodrigo that he uses against his competitors.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer with many successful movies produced and an Oscar on my mantel.

What I learned doing this assignment is using this approach makes outlining much easier and it is significantly elevated from a typical first draft outline.

Genre: Action Thriller

P = Protagonist Journey

A = Antagonist Journey

R = Red Herring Journey

Act 1: Joaquin is summoned to cartel HQ and subject to anonymous threats against him and his family.

Joaquin PJ 1: Joaquin is working in a drug factory when Dante comes for him and his family – summoned by the drug lord to cartel headquarters.

Dante RJ 1: A friend of Joaquin’s warns him that going with Dante means death. Dante executes the friend.

Dante RJ 2: Dante is taken aback by Isabel’s beauty (Joaquin’s daughter) and Joaquin makes her cover up.

Deeper Layer: Dante is the heir apparent to be drug lord and red herring to who is terrorizing Joaquin’s family.

Dante RJ 3: Tomas (Joaquin’s son) is taking target practice when they arrive to get him. Dante watches him shoot, he repeatedly hits the target.

Joaquin PJ 2: Camila, Joaquin’s wife is fearful. Joaquin warns his children to do what he taught them, keep their heads down. Has Tomas memorize the number of a distant cousin across the border and to call him if anything happens to Joaquin.

Deeper Layer: Joaquin will need the help of the distant cousin.

Arturo AJ 1: Arturo greets them at HQ. Intrigue between him and Camila – they have a history. Doesn’t like how she looks at her husband with love, admiration and fear for him. Arturo catches Dante unable to keep his eyes off Isabel. Remarks that she looks just like Camila did at her age – hard for a man to walk away from that. Remarks that he hears Tomas is ambitious and wants to prove himself to the cartel.

Deeper Layer: Arturo is in love with Camila. They dated until he started rising in the cartel and showed his true colors. Arturo blames Joaquin and believes he can win back Camila if he proves Joaquin is no better than him.

Joaquin PJ 3: Dante escorts them to their accommodations. On the wall, “you won’t be protected forever Joaquin.” Dante promises he’ll find out who did it.

Inciting Incident: Rodrigo, the drug lord, announces he is dying and there is a competition for his succession starting at sun up. He made a promise to Joaquin’s father – who was Rodrigo’s bodyguard for years and died protecting him – that he’d protect him. No longer possible from the grave, but brought him here to introduce him to competitors so he can secure a good position in the new organization.

Deeper Layer: Joaquin is going to compete.

Joaquin PJ 4: In front of Arturo, Rodrigo puts Joaquin down for not being strong enough to lead, he had hoped he could be his successor, but not possible.

Arturo AJ 3: Arturo empathizes with Joaquin as they walk away. Encourages him to enter the competition.

Deeper Layer: Arturo is going to do everything he can to get Joaquin to enter the competition. Only way Joaquin can protect himself and his family is if he wins the competition and becomes drug lord.

Arturo AJ 4: Uses the underground tunnels to get in the residence to watch Camila without her seeing him.

Joaquin PJ 5: Kids tell Joaquin they saw a figure in the house.

Joaquin PJ 6: An old friend tells Joaquin they are all in trouble – Dante will likely win and he is brutal; Luis, his brother will rape every woman in the community; Arturo is a wild card who has hallucinations so you always have to be on-guard. Begs him to talk to Rodrigo and get him to appoint a less threatening drug lord.

Dante RJ 4: Joaquin stumbles into a conversation between Dante and Tomas about joining the cartel. Joaquin tells Tomas he’s been working on a plan to get him into college in the US. Tomas doesn’t want to go, get into a fight and he lashes out at his dad – how can he expect Tomas to leave when he never left himself.

Arturo AJ 5: An anonymous letter is delivered to Isabel telling her when he wins, he’ll take her as his wife. Arturo is out of town and it sounds like Dante wrote the letter.

Deeper Layer: Arturo is luring Joaquin into the competition by making him fearful of Dante, while also avoiding Camila knowing that he is the one terrorizing her family.

Joaquin P6: Seeks information about the point system and competitors. He tells Rodrigo he is entering the competition. Rodrigo says that’s a death sentence.

TP 1: Joaquin enters the competition to become the next drug lord.

ACT 2: Joaquin struggles with his morals as he tries to navigate the competition without crossing lines he can’t live with.

Dante RJ 5: Dante kills two of the biggest local threats to their drug trade, generating the first big points of the competition.

Joaquin PJ 7: Camila begs Joaquin to back out of the competition – he can’t win because he won’t compromise his morals.

Arturo AJ 6: In the cantina, Dante stops talking as Joaquin walks by. Arturo taunts Joaquin by questioning what Dante is hiding, mentioning his interest in Isabel. Warns him that if anyone else wants to win, they will have to kill Dante.

Joaquin PJ 8: Joaquin does something to try to get points without compromising his morals, but it fails to gain points.

Arturo AJ 7: Arturo has a hallucination and almost kills Joaquin and Tomas.

Deeper Level: Arturo fakes his hallucinations to torment and get away with it.

Dante RJ 6: Convinces competitors to drop out and he’ll give them promotions in his organization when he takes over.

Joaquin PJ 9: Rodrigo summons Joaquin. Is pissed more of his crew aren’t racking up points – for his infamy they all need to participate. Wants to know if Joaquin knows why, which he does, but he doesn’t want to tell Rodrigo b/c it helps him limit the number of competitors.

Arturo AJ 8: Camila asks Arturo about Dante, is afraid for her daughter. Arturo feeds into her fear – he takes what he wants and no one will stop him.

Joaquin PJ 10: Joaquin blows up a neighboring cartel’s drug lab (in middle of the night when no one is there – maintaining his morals) gaining his first significant points. Impressing Rodrigo to a degree and becoming a target of competitors.

Dante RJ 7 and Arturo AJ 8: The big board of points is updated and Dante and Arturo are way ahead of Joaquin.

Arturo AJ 10: Arturo conspires with one of his men to force Joaquin to cross his moral boundaries.

Mid-Point: Joaquin is backed into a corner and must kill or be killed. He makes his first kill and more points.

ACT 3: Joaquin battles to win points.

Arturo AJ 11: Arturo makes sure Camila knows Joaquin committed murder.

Joaquin PJ 11: Joaquin sees Luis sexually harass Isabel, which Arturo set up – he wants Dante and Luis out of the competition so they can kill each other or Joaquin kills them, he doesn’t care.

Joaquin PJ 12: Joaquin follows Luis, finds he is in bed with the neighboring cartel. Kills him and other cartel members. Earning significant points and seemingly making him a bigger target of Dante’s.

Deeper Layer: Dante hated his brother…

Dante RJ 8 & Arturo AJ 9: Stakes are raised as Joaquin is a serious threat to win. They take more brutal actions regaining the lead.

Joaquin PJ 13: Tells his family he know what he needs to do to win, but has to leave town to execute it. Tells Tomas his father wanted him to leave the cartel, but he was too scared, they fought about it the day his father was killed. It was his fault his father was distracted. Tomas is right, he’s always been too afraid, but he’s not anymore, he’s fighting to get his family out.

Joaquin PJ 14: Distant cousin arranged help for him to get across the border.

Joaquin PJ 15: Joaquin crosses paths with smugglers and gets caught in the chase through an underground tunnel. Firing at him.

Joaquin PJ 16: Distant cousin calls to say Joaquin never made it to his house. She didn’t know he was going to US. Tries to reach him, but no answer.

Arturo AJ 12: Arturo conspiring with his team. Isabel overhears him say he is going to kill her father.

Arturo AJ 13: Isabel tells Camila. Tomas wants to kill Arturo. Camila says she knows how to get Arturo to change his mind and not to worry, she’ll take care of it.

Joaquin PJ 17: Rodrigo announces he’s cutting competition short: 24 hours he will announce the winner. Arturo is winning.

ACT 4: The final showdown and announcement of the new drug lord

Joaquin PJ 18: Camila tries desperately to get in touch with Joaquin, but no response. Inquiring of others – tells them he went to US – no one has heard from him.

Arturo AJ 13: Camila makes a deal with the devil and sleeps with Arturo to save her husband from his wrath.

Dante RJ 9: Dante surges ahead of Arturo.

Joaquin PJ 19: In a migrant detention center. Director of border patrol enters.

Arturo AJ 12: In one of his “hallucinations,” Arturo kills Dante in a safe zone.

Arturo AJ 13: Camila stumbles upon the aftermath of Arturo killing Dante and realizes he’s been faking the hallucinations. Texts Joaquin this information.

Deeper Layer Reveal: Learn that Arturo has been faking the hallucinations.

Arturo AJ 14: Arturo tells Camila he’s learned that Joaquin is dead and he is there to comfort her. She doesn’t know what to believe, but if he’s dead, she believes Arturo killed him. Arturo insists Dante did it and promises to take care of her and children. Camila tells Arturo her husband is nothing like him, what he did he did to protect his family, not for power or ruthlessness, she’ll never love him and would rather he kill her than she having to be with him.

Joaquin PJ 20: Camila leaves Joaquin a message. We need you.

Joaquin P 21: Rodrigo is about to announce the winner as Arturo when Joaquin bursts in. You’re going to want to reconsider your decision – he shows Rodrigo a photo of the US director of border patrol dead. Pride on Rodrigo’s face, but asks his team for confirmation.

Joaquin PJ 22 and Arturo 15: As team confirms US news report that the woman is dead and Joaquin left a note that he killed her in honor of Rodrigo, Joaquin tells Arturo he knows he’s been stalking his family. Arturo tells him Camila came to him, slept with him, has always loved him and how will she see Joaquin if he kills him? Joaquin makes eye contact with his wife, a knife in his heart.

Joaquin PJ 23: Hands Joaquin a gun and for his last order, he orders him to kill him. Joaquin orders all the women and children out so they don’t have to see it. He kills them, then fires at other leading competitors, including Arturo who goes down.

Joaquin PJ 24: Orders everyone else out. A woman walks in from the back with a hood, leans down to Arturo and drops her hood. Stands up and says to Joaquin: “What’s our next move?”

Deeper Layer Reveal: Joaquin has outwitted the cartel and still maintains some of his morals.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Deeper Layer

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer with many successful movies produced and an Oscar on my mantel.

What I learned doing this assignment is to work backward from the deeper layer and major reveal to make the layers more powerful.

Deeper Layer

Surface Layer: Joaquin joins the competition to become head of the cartel.

Deeper Layer: Joaquin manipulates the game and sets it up to wipe out the cartel.

Major Reveal: Kills all the power players and one of his innocent murder victims walks in, alive.

Influences Surface Story: Enters a competition there is seemingly no way he can win. Racks up points by manipulating the game. Joaquin waits until the last minute to make his big “kill” so no one has time to question it or one up it. We see some kind of indirect or passing interaction with Joaquin and one of his victims when he is conspiring with her. A body is burned up / or something else and has to be identified by a tooth / blood / something that could be given without serious harm. Sells enormous amount of drugs, gets the US government to give him the money for the drugs to keep them off the streets.

Hints: Joaquin tells his son to lay low and not worry, he has a plan. Listens to Rodrigo talk about the law enforcement who are thorniest to them.

Changes Reality: When we realize Joaquin manipulated the game to take out the cartel, we gain a whole different level of respect for him and realize all the hoops he had to jump through to get it done. We stop worrying about what will happen to him now and are ready to go on another journey with him as a warrior.

Structure

Beginning: Rodrigo, the drug lord, announces he’s dying and there will be a competition to select his successor. The points are based on how they promote Rodrigo’s infamy, but he will not tell them what activities rank highest, they should think like him/like a drug lord. A low leel Falcon, Joaquin has no interest in joining the competition and plans to keep his head down during it. Minutes after the start of the competition Arturo shoots another competitor and injures a bystander, Tomas, Joaquin’s son.

Inciting Incident: Arturo tries to recruit Tomas to the cartel/his team for the competition under the guise it will keep him safe.

TP 1: Joaquin and his daughter are stalked and tormented by an anonymous man (Arturo) claiming he will be the next head of the cartel and will take her as his wife.

Act 2: Joaquin enters the competition to protect his children. He tries to earn points without crossing too far over his moral compass. His first significant attempt at points fails – because he is betrayed by a friend – and almost killed. Rodrigo urges him to quit to avoid aggravating the inevitable winner.

TP 2 / Midpoint: Joaquin is backed into a corner by Arturo (he conspires with another competitor) and makes his first kill – earning competition points and crossing the line of his morals.

Act 3: With points on the board, Joaquin is now a target of the other competitors and must abandon all morals to compete to win. Uses what he learned from his father and from being a confidant of Rodrigo to know what will get him the most points. Plans a grand plan to charge ahead in points, but has to go away to do it and his family and the cartel think he may be dead.

TP 3: Arturo gains the points he needs to win and with just 48 hours until the end of the competition.

Act 4 Climax: Joaquin arrives back home just before the announcement with evidence of his last act – killing of the Chief of US Border Patrol. Rodrigo anoints Joaquin the new drug lord and tells him his first duty is a mercy killing as the pain has become unbearable and he wants to go out with a bang. Joaquin kills him and then the other top competitors.

Resolution: Joaquin is the new cartel lord and the community is safe, but there is a twist…

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Character Structure

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer with many successful movies produced and an Oscar on my mantel.

What I learned doing this assignment is once I looked at this from the lead characters perspective I realized I had the wrong inciting incident. This offers that different perspective that is sometimes needed to see something better.

Protagonist: Joaquin

· Beginning: Rodrigo, the drug lord, announces he’s dying and there will be a competition to select his successor. One competitor immediately takes out another unsettling Joaquin.

· Inciting Incident: Arturo tries to recruit Joaquin’s son to the cartel/his team for the competition and he almost gets killed. Joaquin is livid and warns his son they must keep their heads down to avoid the bloody war.

· TP 1: Joaquin and his daughter are stalked and tormented by an anonymous man (Arturo) claiming he will be the next head of the cartel and will take her as his wife. Joaquin enters the competition to protect his children.

· Act 2: Joaquin tries to navigate the competition without compromising his morals.

· TP 2 / Midpoint: Joaquin is backed into a corner and makes his first kill – earning competition points and crossing the line of his morals.

· Act 3: With points on the board, Joaquin is now a target of the other competitors and must abandon all morals to compete to win.

· TP 3: Arturo gains the points he needs to win and with little time left, Joaquin must make a big move that will test how far he will go to take over as head of the cartel.

· Act 4 Climax: Rodrigo anoints Joaquin the new drug lord and tells him his first duty is a mercy killing as the pain has become unbearable and he wants to go out with a bang. Joaquin kills him and then the other top competitors, starting with Arturo.

· Resolution: Joaquin is the new cartel lord and the community is safe, but there is a twist…

Antagonist: Arturo

· Beginning: Arturo and Joaquin’s wife had been young lovers.

· Inciting Incident: When Arturo showed his true colors with his ambition in the cartel, she left him for Joaquin.

· TP 1: Not able to get over his love for her, he plotted to kill Joaquin, but Rodrigo found out and ordered him not to as it was his debt to Joaquin’s father, his former bodyguard.

· Act 2: All these years, Arturo has had to endure Joaquin and his happiness and watch the woman he loves respect his enemy eventhough he has had no success in his life.

· TP 2 / Midpoint: Rodrigo announces he’s dying which means Joaquin will soon not be protected, but he wants revenge now (in case he doesn’t win) and a way to win back his love.

· Act 3: He wants her to see Joaquin is no better than him so he lures him into the competition and conspires to get him to cross his morals.

· TP 3: His love comes to him, but he learns it’s to save her husband.

· Act 4 Climax: Either he or Joaquin are going to win. He knows he can’t win her heart back so he will kill Joaquin regardless of who wins.

· Resolution: Joaquin kills him first.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Purpose Driven Supporting Characters

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer with many successful movies produced and an Oscar on my mantel.

What I learned doing this assignment is thinking through which supporting characters are necessary to tell the story can cut back on the number of extraneous characters I’ve added in the past and then had to eliminate in later drafts.

Supporting Characters: Dying cartel drug lord. Joaquin’s wife, daughter and son. Secondary competitor who Arturo conspires with to kill Joaquin. Community member who supports and pushes Joaquin. Director of border patrol.

Background Characters: Other competitions. DEA.

Support 1: Rodrigo Espinoza

· Role: Dying cartel drug lord

· Main Purpose: Creates and drives the competition for his successor.

· Value: Played a part in Joaquin’s wound. Protects Joaquin as a promise to his father, which increases the conflict between Joaquin and Arturo and requires the conspiracy.

Support 2: Camila Vega

· Role: Joaquin’s wife and love interest of Arturo.

· Main Purpose: The love interest of Arturo who tries to stop the conflict knowing one of them is going to die.

· Value: She dated Arturo before marrying Joaquin, which set up their conflict years ago.

Support 3: Isabel Vega

· Role: Joaquin’s daughter.

· Main Purpose: Arturo uses her and her brother to lure Joaquin into the competition.

· Value: Fear for her safety and freedom is what ultimately pulls Joaquin into the competition.

Support 4: Tomas Vega

· Role: Joaquin’s son

· Main Purpose: Is being recruited by Arturo to join the cartel.

· Value: Creates flashbacks for Joaquin to the conflict with his father before his death.

Support 4: Galo Leon

· Role: Secondary competitor

· Main Purpose: Conspires with Arturo to kill Joaquin.

· Value: Increasing the conflict and action.

Support 6: Dante Herrera

· Role: Low level Falcon / community leader.

· Main Purpose: Encourages Joaquin to take on the fight.

· Value: Supports Joaquin, but also gets him in this bind.

Support 7: Maritza Montoya

· Role: Director of Border Patrol

· Main Purpose: The target that could win Joaquin the competition.

· Value: A high points target and a twist.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Character Profiles Part 2

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer with many successful movies produced and an Oscar on my mantel.

What I learned doing this assignment is there are still ways to improve these characters if I keep working this profile to find deeper levels.

Joaquin

High Concept: The head of a cartel is dying and puts his succession up for competition with a point system that rewards crimes based on the degree to which they promote his infamy. How can a low-level cartel worker with morals beat the ruthless heavyweights and protect his family and community?

Journey: From a low-level Falcon, afraid and protective of his morals to sacrificing his morals and becoming a powerful cartel lord.

Actor Attractors: He is a low-level cartel member who is non-violent, self-educated and wants out, but when he finds a way he struggles with what it will cost him and whether he has the guts to do it.

Profile:

· Role in the Story: Protagonist. A low-level cartel worker, called a Falcon, who desperately wants out. He is tormented by a ruthless cartel member and enters the competition to protect his family and the community.

· Age Range and Description: Late 30’s. A better than average looking man but with more wear and tear than someone his age should have. He attire is subdued and he has no trouble blending in to a crowd.

· Core Traits: Private. Underhanded. Self-educated/smart. A listener.

· Motivation – Want/Need: Wants to protect his family and get out of the cartel. Needs to have the guts to go against the cartel.

· Wound: His father wanted him to leave for a better life, but he was naïve, didn’t have the guts and joined the cartel. They fought about it and his father was distracted, which led to his death that night.

· Likability, Relatability, Empathy: Family man and wants more for them. Feels trapped. Is backed into a corner. Must win the competition to survive and protect his family and community.

· Character Subtext:

o Joaquin lies in wait, studying cartel members until he finds a way out and will use everything he’s learned about them to his advantage.

· Character Intrigue:

o Hidden agendas: Uses his listening skills, ability to be ignored, and the confidence of Rodrigo to learn how to take down his enemies.

o Competition: Knows the only way to survive is to win.

o Conspiracies: The community is behind him and help him when they can without getting caught.

o Secrets: What he learns from Rodrigo. What he’s going to do when he wins.

o Deception: Makes Arturo believe his hallucinations are getting worse and he no longer knows what is real and what is not.

· Flaw: Cowardice.

· Values: Family. Morals.

· Character Dilemma: Morals versus doing what needs to be done to protect his family and community. Easy versus hard. Fear versus Action.

Arturo

High Concept: The head of a cartel is dying and puts his succession up for competition with a point system that rewards crimes based on the degree to which they promote his infamy. How can a low-level cartel worker with morals beat the ruthless heavyweights and protect his family and community?

Journey: A ruthless killer who terrorizes the community but struggles with the knowledge that his actions drove the woman he loves to another man. He dies without changing.

Actor Attractors: He is a loud-mouthed brutal man who is highly sensitive. He’s obsessed with Joaquin’s wife and won’t hurt her physically. She is the only person in his life who he thought truly loved him and is determined to earn her love back.

Profile:

· Role in the Story: Antagonist. A ruthless cartel member who will stop at nothing to ascend to drug lord. Wants to win Joaquin’s wife back.

· Age Range and Description: Late 30’s. Scruffy, beefy, could win most fights and doesn’t let anyone forget it.

· Core Traits: Loudmouth. Brutal. Luring. Suspicious. Highly sensitive.

· Motivation – Want/Need: Wants Joaquin’s wife back. Wants to win the competition. Needs to become a better man and stop killing people.

· Wound: Struggles with his actions that pushed the love of his life away.

· Likability, Relatability, Empathy: Treats Joaquin’s wife with respect. Regrets about past decisions that are affecting his life today. Has hallucinations and doesn’t know what’s real. Loyal to Rodrigo and feels slighted.

· Character Subtext: Arturo is a ruthless cartel member who is in love with Joaquin’s wife and lures Joaquin into the competition so he can show his wife he’s no more moral than him and then take him out.

· Character Intrigue:

o Hidden Agenda: To lure Joaquin into the competition and set him up so his wife loses respect for him. And then to kill him.

o Competition: Declares his victory before the competition even starts to dissuade his competitors.

o Conspiracy: To have Joaquin killed by another competitor so he doesn’t blow his chance at winning with Rodrigo.

o Secrets: His enduring love for Joaquin’s wife.

o Deception: Deceives Rodrigo into thinking he’s going to protect Joaquin.

o Secret Identity: Struggling with his choices in life / wants to be someone he can never be anymore.

· Flaw: Overconfident. Loudmouth.

· Values: Power. Love.

· Character Dilemma: To fight for power or for the woman he loves.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Character Profiles Part 1

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer with many successful movies produced and an Oscar on my mantel.

What I learned doing this assignment is looking at all of these together is helping to form a more complete picture of the main characters.

Joaquin

High Concept: The head of a cartel is dying and puts his succession up for competition with a point system that rewards crimes based on the degree to which they promote his infamy. How can a low-level worker with morals he doesn’t want to cross beat the ruthless heavyweights and protect his family and community?

Journey: From a low-level Falcon, afraid and protective of his morals to sacrificing his morals and becoming a powerful cartel lord.

Actor Attractors: He is a low-level cartel member who is non-violent, self-educated and wants out, but when he finds a way he struggles with what it will cost him.

Profile:

· Role in the Story: Protagonist. A low-level cartel worker, called a Falcon, who desperately wants out. He is tormented by a ruthless cartel member and enters the competition to protect his family and the community.

· Age Range and Description: Late 30’s. A better than average looking man with more wear and tear than someone his age should have. He attire is subdued and he has no trouble blending in to a crowd.

· Core Traits: Private. Underhanded. Self-educated/smart. A listener.

· Motivation – Want/Need: Wants to protect his family and get out of the cartel. Needs to be a leader.

· Wound: Blames Rodrigo for bringing his father into the cartel, which is what got him killed at an early age.

· Likability, Relatability, Empathy: Family man and wants more for them. Feels trapped. Is backed into a corner. Must win the competition to survive and protect his family and community.

Arturo

High Concept: The head of a cartel is dying and puts his succession up for competition with a point system that rewards crimes based on the degree to which they promote his infamy. How can a low-level worker with morals he doesn’t want to cross beat the ruthless heavyweights and protect his family and community?

Journey: A ruthless killer who terrorizes the community but struggles with the knowledge that his actions drove the woman he loves to another man. He dies without changing.

Actor Attractors: He is a loud-mouthed brutal man who talks about his feelings. He’s obsessed with Joaquin’s wife and won’t hurt her physically. She is the only person in his life who he thought truly loved him and is determined to earn her love back.

Profile:

· Role in the Story: Antagonist. A ruthless cartel member who will stop at nothing to ascend to drug lord. Wants to win Joaquin’s wife back.

· Age Range and Description: Late 30’s. Scruffy, beefy, could win most fights and doesn’t let anyone forget it.

· Core Traits: Loudmouth. Brutal. Luring. Suspicious.

· Motivation – Want/Need: Wants Joaquin’s wife back. Wants to win the competition. Needs to become a better man and stop killing people.

· Wound: Struggles with his actions that pushed the love of his life away.

· Likability, Relatability, Empathy: Treats Joaquin’s wife with respect. Regrets about past decisions that are affecting his life today. Has hallucinations and doesn’t know what’s real. Loyal to Rodrigo and feels slighted.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Likability/Relatability/Empathy

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer with many successful movies produced and an Oscar on my mantel.

What I learned doing this assignment is it is an interesting balance to create likability, relatability and empathy for antagonists.

Protagonist – Joaquin

· Likability: A family man. Educates his children and wants more for them. Is doing everything he can to keep them out of the business. The community looks up to him, believes he’s the one who can change things.

· Relatability: Feeling of being trapped. Want the best for our children. Have to make difficult choices.

· Empathy: Born into the cartel. Backed into a corner and knows he has to win or he will be killed and his family and the community will be in danger as well.

Antagonist – Arturo

· Likability: He treats Joaquin’s wife with respect.

· Relatability: Everyone struggles with regret, decisions they made in the past that affect their lives today.

· Empathy: Has hallucinations and doesn’t know what’s real and what’s not. Slighted by Rodrigo that he is making him fight for the drug lord position instead of giving it to him after his loyalty and commitment to the job.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Character Intrigue

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer with many successful movies produced and an Oscar on my mantel.

What I learned doing this assignment is each of these layers adds more intrigue and interest in the characters and the situations they are in.

Character Name: Joaquin

· Role: Protagonist who must beat ruthless cartel members, at a competition that rewards crimes, to protect his family and the community.

· Hidden agendas: Uses his listening skills, ability to be ignored, and the confidence of Rodrigo to learn how to take down his enemies.

· Competition: Secretly enters the competition and knows the only way to survive is to win.

· Conspiracies: The community is behind him and help him when they can without getting caught.

· Secrets: What he learns from Rodrigo.

· Deception: Makes Arturo believe his hallucinations are getting worse and he no longer knows what is real and what is not.

· Unspoken Wound: Blames Rodrigo and the cartel for his father’s death and he and his family being trapped in this life.

· Secret Identity: Future head of the cartel.

Character Name: Arturo

· Role: Antagonist who lures Joaquin into the competition.

· Hidden Agenda: To set Joaquin up so his wife loses respect for him. And then to kill him.

· Competition: Declares his victory before the competition even starts to dissuade his competitors.

· Conspiracy: Arturo conspires to have Joaquin killed so he doesn’t blow his chance at winning with Rodrigo.

· Secrets: His enduring love for Joaquin’s wife.

· Deception: Deceives Rodrigo into thinking he’s going to protect Joaquin.

· Unspoken Wound: Losing the love of his life because of his own actions.

· Secret Identity: Struggling with his choices in life / wants to be someone he can never be anymore.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Subtext Characters

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer with many successful movies produced and an Oscar on my mantel.

What I learned doing this assignment is brainstorming subtext without other distractions helps to create more depth.

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE

· Character Name: Jim Phelps

· Subtext Identity: Spy who double-crosses his team

· Subtext Trait: Devious

· Subtext Logline: Jim is a spy who double crosses his team to steal the NOC list and sell it for a windfall of money.

· Possible Areas of Subtext: Leads a mission to uncover the mole (which is really him). Pretends to lose control of the technology / elevator to kill one of his men without suspicion on him. Uses fake blood to fake his death. Feigns injury and illness to come back to life. Tries to set up Ethan for the theft. Then Kittridge.

RISE OF THE FALCON

· Character Name: Joaquin – Protagonist

· Subtext Identity: Low level cartel member who has been lying in wait to leave the organization.

· Subtext Trait: Underhanded

· Subtext Logline: Joaquin lies in wait, studying cartel members until he finds a way out and will use everything he’s learned about them to his advantage.

· Possible Areas of Subtext: Keeps his head down. Hides his self-taught smarts. Listens to everything they say. Keeps Rodrigo’s confidence so he can learn more about all of them. Plots his entrance into the competition while pretending not to be a part of it. Does things to make Arturo think his hallucinations are getting worse. The last 2 twists at the end of the movie.

· Character Name: Arturo – Antagonist

· Subtext Identity: Criminal who is in love with Joaquin’s wife.

· Subtext Trait: Evil, suspicious, and luring

· Subtext Logline: Arturo is a ruthless cartel member who is suspicious of Joaquin and lures him into the competition so he can show Joaquin’s wife he’s better than him and then take him out.

· Possible Areas of Subtext: Arturo pretends to have given up on his quest for Joaquin’s wife but is trying to earn her love back. Ignores Joaquin as not relevant but is secretly tormenting him and his family and luring him into the competition so he can kill him. Promises Rodrigo he’ll protect Joaquin, but is trying to get him killed in a way to avoid Rodrigo’s wrath.

• This reply was modified 3 years ago by  Linda Kish.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Actor Attractors

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer with many successful movies produced and an Oscar on my mantel.

What I learned doing this assignment is focusing on these actor attractors in this way is pushing me to find uniqueness in my characters to a different level than before.

Protagonist: Joaquin

1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?

He is a low-level Cartel member who is non-violent, self-educated and wants out, but when he finds a way he struggles with what it will cost him.

Read

Don’t be the loud mouth, center of attention, those are the guys who get killed

Be the guy in the background who is always listening, you’ll be able to work your way out of situations

Community thinks he is the smartest one, they are not very educated, they want him to find a way out for them

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting in your story?

The transformational journey from a non-violent family man to head of the cartel who has outwitted the most evil members to protect the community.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?

Saves a member of the community behind the back of the head of the Cartel.

Is backed into a corner and must kill or be killed.

Takes out the director of border security, but then there’s the twist.

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?

A low level cartel member who, in order to protect his family, battles those in line to be the next head of the cartel.

5. What could be this character’s emotional range?

From fearful to outsmarting to brutal to powerful.

6. What subtext can the actor play?

He plays the part of an uneducated low level worker to listen and study the evil members of the cartel, then uses the knowledge against them.

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?

The dying drug lord confides in him, giving him critical information. They also have a unique relationship – his father saved the drug lord’s life multiple times as his bodyguard so he protects him as a debt, but at the same time is disappointed that all he turned out to be is a low level worker.

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?

Teaches his children to be educated, not to be loud mouths, to keep their heads down and wait for the moment when they can make the biggest impression. Uses quotes of successful people to make points.

9. What could make this character special and unique?

How he studied his competitors for years, hoping to have an opportunity to use it to get out of the cartel. He has insider information no one else in the competition has due to his relationship with the drug lord.

Antagonist: Arturo

1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?

He is a loud-mouthed brutal man who talks about his feelings. He’s obsessed with Joaquin’s wife and won’t hurt her physically. She is the only person in his life who he thought truly loved him and is determined to earn her love back.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting in your story?

The irony of him not taking Joaquin’s wife, but he will take lives and rape other women. He lures Joaquin into the competition so he will kill and lose something in his wife’s eyes. He can’t kill him because she will hate him.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?

Brutal murders to win points. Stalks and terrorizes Joaquin and his family. Takes Joaquin’s wife when she comes to him, then learns she is disgusted by him and just trying to save her husband from his wrath.

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?

A brutal killer who terrorizes the community but is blinded by the love of a woman, which may lead to his downfall.

5. What could be this character’s emotional range?

From brutal and driven to love and regret.

6. What subtext can the actor play?

Is obsessed with Joaquin’s wife and is stalking him and luring him into the competition so he can turn her against him and win her back.

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?

His relationship with Joaquin’s wife. His relationship with Joaquin who he hates but must pretend to treat as cartel family.

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?

Loud-mouth, talks too much.

9. What could make this character special and unique?

He has hallucinations – sees things, hears things, smells things. When he has them he wants to “put them down” – will shoot, burn, etc. Sometimes talks to himself thinking someone else is there.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Actor Attractors for Mission Impossible

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer with many successful movies produced and an Oscar on my mantel.

What I learned doing this assignment is the character introductions were truly unique and powerful. Throughout the movie the characters were strong, multidimensional and had very interesting relationships.

Ethan Hunt

Actor notoriety – An IMF agent who outwits his boss when he tried to set him up to take the fall for his death and stealing the NOC list.

Character that is most interesting – He must see through is colleagues, friends, and those who think he’s guilty to exonerate himself and catch them red-handed.

Most interesting actions – The disguised interrogation, blowing up a fish tank with a piece of chewing gum, hanging from the ceiling of the vault to steal the NOC list in a pressure sensitive area, crazy train battle.

Outstanding introduction – In a disguise, he’s interrogating a Russian agent.

Range of emotions – Accomplishment, amusement, fear, panic, sadness, trapped, determination, anger, mistrust, gotcha, etc.

Subtext – He knows his boss and his wife have set him up but must play along to catch them in the act.

Interesting relationships – With his friend/boss who sets him up. With his boss’ wife who cares for but doesn’t trust. With the director who thinks he’s the mole.

Unique voice – Keeps information to himself, is playful, sees through the lies and manipulations.

Something truly special – Super spy and acrobatic action skills.

Jim Phelps

Actor notoriety – Fools his team to believe he was on the right side and killed, but is alive and the mole. A dominate and interesting character who is “present” the entire movie although his screen time is less than expected since he is considered dead much of the movie.

Character that is most interesting – Sets up his most loyal agent to steal money and run.

Most interesting actions – Fakes his own death then comes back in a surprising way.

Outstanding introduction – On a plane flight, he’s offered a movie. Suggests the flight attendant choose it for him – it is an IMF mission briefing.

Range of emotions – Cocky, injured, greedy, etc.

Subtext – He acts like a victim but he’s the mole, is pulling the strings and has team members killed.

Interesting relationships – Apparently loves his wife but puts her in a position to sleep with Ethan. Sets up his best agent and close friend.

Unique voice – In charge.

Something truly special – A mastermind.

Claire

Actor notoriety – Is an IMF agent married to the mole and seducing his enemy.

Character that is most interesting – She’s the tie between them, the one with information on both of them.

Most interesting actions – Plays a murdered woman at the beginning, helps to set up Ethan, seduces him, then double crosses him.

Outstanding introduction – Appears dead then wakes wanting to know if they got him.

Range of emotions – Relief, fear, uncertain, angry, etc.

Subtext – Is deceiving Ethan and in on the set up with her husband.

Interesting relationships – With her husband who pushes her to seduce Ethan. With Ethan who she cares about but is deceiving him.

Unique voice – An accent, is the one who

Something truly special – Love interest of both men.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Genre Conventions

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer with many successful movies produced and an Oscar on my mantel.

What I learned doing this assignment is I needed more action and thrill in my structure. I need to brainstorm actions and MIS elements and reconsider whether I can elevate the structure points.

Title: RISE OF THE FALCON

An Action Thriller.

HIGH CONCEPT: The head of a cartel is dying and puts his succession up for competition with a point system that rewards crimes based on the degree to which they promote his infamy. Will a low-level worker abandon his morals to beat the ruthless heavyweights and protect his family and community?

ACTION:

· Purpose: Adrenaline-stirring / fast paced – A man must stay alive against the ruthless cartel members who want to take him out.

· Demand for Action: A competition to win the top position of the cartel rewards crimes and demands all types of actions as they take risks to earn the most points.

· Mission: To defeat the cartel heavyweights so he can protect his family and the community.

· Escalating Action: At the beginning a cartel heavyweight just wants to torment Joaquin, but when he decides to enter the competition he becomes a target, which escalates when he starts to earn quality points.

· Hero: Joaquin is a low-level cartel member who was born into it and never had a choice but wants out for him and his family.

· Antagonist: Arturo, the presumed successor drug lord, hates Joaquin for stealing the woman he wanted and feels betrayed by Rodrigo, the current drug lord for protecting Joaquin as a debt owed to his father.

THRILLER:

· Purpose: High stakes / plot twists / suspense – From the beginning Joaquin and his family are tormented by an unknown perpetrator then learn he is the most feared cartel heavyweight who wants to take his daughter as his wife. The only way to save his daughter, his family, and community is to enter the competition and win. Multiple twists, including the very last scene.

· Life and Death Situations: His children and wife are in danger multiple times and he is in danger throughout. From the crimes he commits, the Policia, the DEA, border patrol, his competitors.

· Mystery / Intrigue / Suspense: Who is tormenting him and what does he want? Will he be able to protect his family members? He is being stalked with the purpose of being murdered and is caught off-guard multiple times but evades death. What is his wife hiding from him? What are his children hiding from him?

· Hero: Joaquin is a low-level cartel member who was born into it and never had a choice but wants out for him and his family. His father was bodyguard and confidant for the drug lord and he gets brought into his confidence at times, giving him information to take down his enemies.

· Villain: Arturo, the presumed successor drug lord, hates Joaquin for stealing the woman he wanted and feels betrayed by Rodrigo, the current drug lord for protecting Joaquin as a debt owed to his father.

· Main Emotions: MIS / Tension / Anticipation / Uncertainty: Who are his allies and who are his enemies? Can he survive and beat the cartel heavyweights? Arturo baits Joaquin by threatening his family members.

Make sure protag and antag in all structure. Brainstorm genre additions and include in structure.

ACT I:

Opening: Joaquin ushers his son away as they witness Arturo killing a man who was stealing drugs. Joaquin teaches his son how to keep his head down and avoid getting pulled into the dangerous and most immoral cartel activities or becoming a victim.

II: Rodrigo, the drug lord, announces he’s dying and there will be a competition to select his successor. The points are based on how they promote Rodrigo’s infamy, but he will not tell them what activities rank highest, they should think like him/like a drug lord and know. As they leave the announcement, one cartel heavyweight takes out another and Arturo’s son gets hit in the crossfire.

TP 1: Joaquin and his daughter are stalked and tormented by an anonymous man (Arturo) claiming he will be the next head of the cartel and will take her as his wife.

ACT II:

New Plan: With the most evil cartel members, including Arturo, making the biggest moves in the competition, Joaquin feels the only hope for his family is to join the competition and win. His son is pressured by Arturo to become a member of his faction of the cartel.

Plan in Action: Joaquin tries to earn points without crossing too far over his moral compass. His first significant attempt at points fails – because he is betrayed by a friend – and he is almost killed. Rodrigo urges him to quit to protect him from aggravating the inevitable winner.

Mid-Point: Joaquin is backed into a corner and makes his first kill – earning competition points.

ACT III:

Rethink everything: Realizes he is now a target of the top competitors and has to abandon his morals if he not only wants to win but survive and keep his family safe. They go into hiding as he strategizes, but they are flushed out and must go on the run.

New plan: Uses what he learned from his father and from being a confidant of Rodrigo to know what will get the most points as he knows he is behind the others. Goes on a tear to win points.

TP 3: Huge failure / major shift: Arturo earns major points with an evil action – making him the expected winner with just 48 hours until the end of the competition – and to celebrate he rapes Joaquin’s wife and takes her hostage. (Joaquin is missing – b/c he is in US to take out Director of Border Patrol). Arturo taunts Joaquin with his wife’s lies about their past and the sex is having with her now, trying to force him to quit the competition.

ACT IV:

New Plan: Joaquin kills the Chief of US Border Patrol.

Climax / Ultimate expression of the conflict: Rodrigo anoints Joaquin the new drug lord and tells him his first duty is a mercy killing as the pain has become unbearable and he wants to go out with a bang. Joaquin kills him and then the other top competitors.

Resolution: Joaquin is the new cartel lord and the community is safe, but there is a twist…

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s 4 Act Transformational Structure

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer with many successful movies produced and an Oscar on my mantel.

What I learned doing this assignment is I had an outline in my head, but when I went through this process I realized I needed to move up some of my plot points and make turning points stronger.

Title: RISE OF THE FALCON

An Action Thriller.

HIGH CONCEPT: The head of a cartel is dying and puts his succession up for competition with a point system that rewards crimes based on the degree to which they promote his infamy. Will a low-level worker abandon his morals to beat the ruthless heavyweights and protect his family and community?

Internal Journey: From afraid and protective of his morals to sacrificing his morals and becoming a leader.

External Journey: From low-level Falcon to powerful Cartel Lord who kills his competition.

Old Ways:

· Values morals and does all he can to not cross a line.

· Not ambitious.

· Accepts situation and keeps his head down.

· Refuses to entertain a coup.

· Allows cartel heavyweights to disrespect his family.

New Ways:

· Determined.

· Strong.

· Sacrifices morals to protect family and community.

· Fights to stay in power for the greater good.

ACT I:

Opening: Joaquin ushers his son away as they witness the cartel killing a man who was stealing drugs. He teaches his son how to keep his head down and avoid getting pulled into the dangerous and most immoral cartel activities or becoming a victim.

II: Rodrigo, the drug lord, announces he’s dying and there will be a competition to select his successor. The points are based on how they promote Rodrigo’s infamy, but he will not tell them what activities rank highest, they should think like him/like a drug lord and know.

TP 1: Joaquin and his daughter are tormented by a man claiming he will be the next head of the cartel.

ACT II:

New Plan: With the most evil cartel members making the biggest moves in the competition, Joaquin feels the only hope for his family is to join the competition and win.

Plan in Action: Joaquin tries to earn points without crossing too far over his moral compass. Rodrigo urges him to quit to protect him from aggravating the inevitable winner.

Mid-Point: Joaquin is backed into a corner and makes his first kill – earning competition points.

ACT III:

Rethink everything: Realizes he is now a target of the top competitors and has to abandon his morals if he not only wants to win but survive and keep his family safe.

New plan: Uses what he learned from his father and from being a confidant of Rodrigo to know what will get the most points as he knows he is behind the others. Goes on a tear to win points.

TP 3: Huge failure / major shift: Arturo earns major points with an evil action – making him the expected winner with just 48 hours until the end of the competition – and to celebrate he rapes Joaquin’s wife. (Joaquin is missing – b/c he is in US to take out Director of Border Patrol)

ACT IV:

New Plan: Joaquin kills the Chief of US Border Patrol.

Climax / Ultimate expression of the conflict: Rodrigo anoints Joaquin the new drug lord and tells him his first duty is a mercy killing as the pain has become unbearable and he wants to go out with a bang. Joaquin kills him and then the other top competitors.

Resolution: Joaquin is the new cartel lord and the community is safe, but there is a twist…

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Subtext Plot

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer with many successful movies produced and an Oscar on my mantel.

What I learned doing this assignment is writing beneath the surface is so much more fun than on the surface.

Competitive Agendas – Arturo, a ruthless cartel heavyweight, plots to kill Joaquin, a low-level worker while acting like they are members of the same family with the same agenda. Arturo is everything Joaquin hates about the cartel but can’t let on b/c he fears for his life – he is secretly plotting to take him out.

Superior Position – The audience learns of their plots and attempts before the other character does.

Layering – A shocking ending (I’m debating a few different options) will reveal a deeper layer.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Transformational Journey

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer with many successful movies produced and an Oscar on my mantel.

What I learned doing this assignment is old ways/new ways will help keep the transformational journey on track throughout the story and make it more compelling.

Joaquin

Arc Beginning: Low-level falcon in the Cartel who keeps his head down.

Arc Ending: Cartel Lord.

Internal Journey: From afraid and protective of his morals to sacrificing his morals and becoming a leader.

External Journey: From low-level Falcon to powerful Cartel Lord who kills his competition.

Old Ways:

· Values morals and does all he can to not cross a line.

· Not ambitious.

· Accepts situation and keeps his head down.

· Refuses to entertain a coup.

· Allows cartel heavyweights to disrespect his family.

New Ways:

· Determined.

· Strong.

· Sacrifices morals to protect family and community.

· Fights to stay in power for the greater good.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Intentional Lead Characters

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer with many successful movies produced and an Oscar on my mantel.

What I learned doing this assignment is finding what is unique about your characters right away can save a lot of time.

Title: RISE OF THE FALCON

An Action Thriller.

HIGH CONCEPT: The head of a cartel is dying and puts his succession up for competition with a point system that rewards crimes based on the degree to which they promote his infamy. Will a low-level worker abandon his morals to beat the ruthless heavyweights and protect his family and community?

· Character: Protagonist

· Joaquin: Born into a cartel family, he is a low-level falcon who has no desire for advancement and keeps his head down to protect his family and his morals.

· Unique: His father was Rodrigo’s personal bodyguard and saved his life on many occasions.

· Character: Antagonist

· Arturo: A megalomaniac who is ruthless to his core, he is expected to win the competition and run the cartel his way.

· Unique: Has a big ego and talks more than he listens.

· Character: Key Supporting Character

· Rodrigo: A drug lord with a terminal illness who wants to cement his place in history.

· Unique: Has a soft spot for loyalty and a blindspot for betrayal.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by  Linda Kish.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Title, Concept, and Character Structure!

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer with many successful movies produced and an Oscar on my mantel.

What I learned doing this assignment is to keep working the concept to make it come alive in a succinct and visual way.

Title: RISE OF THE FALCON

An Action Thriller.

HIGH CONCEPT: The head of a cartel is dying and puts his succession up for competition with a point system that rewards crimes based on the degree to which they promote his infamy. Will a low-level worker abandon his morals to beat the ruthless heavyweights and protect his family and community?

Character Structure: Protagonist v. Antagonist.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by  Linda Kish.

[Linda Kish]

My name is Linda Kish. I’ve written 5 full length features across a few
different genres, but with my last script, an action thriller, I’ve
found a niche I want to focus on. My goals for this class are to learn
new skills, sharpen skills I’ve learned in other SU classes so they
become second nature, and write a script that sells. In addition to
writing, my other love is sports. I’ve run two marathons and enjoy
watching college sports, the NFL
and golf.

[Linda Kish]

Linda Kish

I agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of Writing Incredible Movies, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, through social media, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, videos, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by  Linda Kish.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Trust Relationships

What I learned doing this assignment is …

Characters:

<div>
Hero: Leo
</div><div>

Basic state:
Trustable – top prosecutor, protects family, refuses to bend the law

Not trustable
– had an affair with his investigator, commits crime to protect family
Circumstances
– stalked, family under attack, life on the line

Villain:
Vittorio

Basic
state: Trustable – good friend, lost a loved one, empathizes

Not
trustable – vague about his trip to Italy, sketchy about his job, rationalizes
benefits of the mob, digitally stalking Leo
Circumstances
– family member killed by street crime, no justify any other way, feelings
of powerlessness

Red Herring
Character: Antonio

Basic
state: Not trustable – supporting his enforcer who is arrested for
murder, cocky, tells Leo he won’t win, shady mob dealings

Trustable –
telling the truth and it’s proven, offers information to Leo, attempt on
his life
Circumstances
– his life is in jeopardy, perceives a threat to his leadership of the crime
family, being set up

Trusted, but
shouldn’t be: Vittorio

See above

Isn’t
trusted, but should be:

Gianna

Basic
state: Not trustable – working for the mob, bends the facts, trying to
free a criminal

Trustable –
insistent Leo is blaming wrong person, trying to help him figure out who
is stalking him

Circumstances
– client is innocent, her life in danger, witnesses stalking

Hero /
Villain: Leo / Vittorio

Trust: Good
friend brings gifts from Italy to Leo’s family dinner

Distrust: Vague
about his trip

Trust:
Supportive of Leo’s plight to take down Antonio

Distrust:
Shady about new job

Trust: Together
when Leo gets a stalker message.

Distrust: Offers
advice that is questionable / defends mob actions

Trust: Keeps
info Leo tells him about the stalker secret

Distrust:
Meets with mobsters visiting from Italy

Trust: Encourages
Leo to go after Antonio

Distrust:
Sets up Antonio
District:
Is the stalker

Trust: Antonio
is killed and believed to have been the stalker

Distrust: Sets
up Leo

Distrust:
Gets Leo to quit job

Distrust:
Becomes the new mob boss

Hero / Red
Herring Character: Leo / Antonio

Distrust:
Antonio’s enforcer on trial for murder

Distrust:
Tells Leo he can’t win

Trust: Doesn’t
have the digital expertise

Distrust:
Evidence planted that he is doing it

Trust: His
defense attorney swears he’s innocent

Distrust: Antonio
is in vicinity and it looks like he’s responsible for drive-by

Trust: Is
told Leo is coming after him, but doesn’t believe it

Distrust:
Shows up at Leo’s daughter’s dance class

Trust: Is
killed and bad things are still happening to Leo

Hero / Trusted,
but shouldn’t be: same as above Leo / Vittorio

Hero / Isn’t
trusted, but should be: Leo / Gianna

Distrust:
Gianna is representing Antonio’s enforcer

Trust:
Another lawyer vouches for her

Distrust:
Withholds information

Trust: Convinces
Antonio to give them information

Trust:
Trying to help solve who is doing the stalking

</div>

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Twists and Turns

What I learned doing this assignment is it’s easy to create twists when isolating the direction and brainstorming ways you can twist it.

New Twists:

· Direction: Leo in court, client on stand.

· Twist: Opens his folder and there is a threat.

· Direction: The defendant is killed in prison.

· Twist: But the threats keep coming.

· Direction: Leo is prosecuting Antonio’s enforcer who is on trial for murder.

· Twist: A witness changes his tune.

· Direction: Leo’s wraps up his closing.

· Twist: Vittorio got back early from visiting “family” and wanted to see his friend in action in high profile case. Leo says I don’t lose. Vittorio – when are you going to leave prosecutor’s office for more money on defense side? Launching his AG bid in a month.

· Direction: Quick verdict means conviction.

· Twist: But it’s not guilty.

· Direction: Antonio’s men go to shake down a shop owner.

· Twist: He laughs at them and tells them to get the hell out.

· Direction: At relaxing dinner with family when an “Amber” alert goes off.

· Twist: It’s a warning to him instead.

· Direction: The verdict may hurt Leo’s chance to be AG.

· Twist: Still in the lead for AG.

· Direction: Leo is with Vittorio when he gets a message and reminder not to tell anyone.

· Twist: He tells Vittorio immediately.

· Direction: Told there are no tables at the restaurant.

· Twist: Vittorio shows his temper.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Thriller Plot!

What I learned doing this assignment is how quickly I can create an intriguing and life-threatening thriller using this approach.

Genovese-Napolitano, A Crime Thriller

Logline: The most feared prosecutor in Philadelphia is terrorized by a mafia don who will stop at nothing to bring his family back to prominence.

Opening: Leo, top prosecutor in Philadelphia, finds a threatening note at his seat in court.

· Life Threatening 1: His life is threatened, told to tell no one or there would be life-ending consequences.

Mystery 1: Who has the guts to terrorize the city’s top prosecutor?

· Red Herring 1: The defendant smirks.

· Life Threatening 2: Ignores the threat, throws the note away.

Inciting Incident: His family is under surveillance. “Code” cited for why they won’t go after his wife and daughter – but he has to live up to the loyalty code, if he makes a misstep that may be viewed as a broken contract.

· Life Threatening 3: His family is threatened.

· Mystery 2: What do they want Leo to do?

· Villain’s Plan 1: Vittorio returns from Italy, from visiting “family.” Says he got what he needed.

· Villain’s Plan 2: Mob hit and Antonio insinuates Leo is going to let him go.

· Red Herring 1: Where is Antonio’s confidence coming from when the Philadelphia mafia is on its knees?

· Life Threatening 4: Vittorio refuses to give in to the threats.

· Villain’s Plan 3: Leo gets a text message threat.

· Mystery 3: Leo is with Vittorio when he gets the message, will he tell him or anyone about the stalker?

· Villain Plan 4: Making a big career move.

· Mystery 4: What is the big move Leo is making in his life and career that he hints at but won’t reveal to Leo? (speaks in riddles, half thoughts)

· Mystery 5: Will his investigator find out anything about the number the message came from?

· Red Herring 2: Antonio is released.

Turning Point 1: The message is received when a bullet whizzes past him – a man is gunned down in a drive-by right next to Leo.

· Life threatening 5: He is almost shot to death, instead another man dies.

· Villain Plan 5: Appears to know nothing about the threats, but offers up advice that supports what the person making the threats wants.

· Villain Plan 6: Draws attention to the infighting at the top of the pyramid of the Philly mob.

· Mystery 6: Who would take over the mob if Antonio wiped out? Leo wonders if it would it be the end of the mob?

· Villain Plan 7: Gets Leo to confide in him about the stalker. Convinces him not to tell the police, he’ll help him handle it for the sake of his family’s lives.

· Life Threatening 6: Vittorio questions if Antonio is his stalker and convinces Leo to go after him.

· Villain Plan 8: Takes an action to show him he’s helping him solve the problem.

· Life Threatening 7: One of Antonio’s men told Leo is coming after him.

· Life Threatening 8: Antonio shows up at his daughter’s dance class.

· Life Threatening 9: His investigator / girlfriend is killed.

· Villain Plan 9: Convinces hero breaking the law is the right thing to do to save his children. Or, Leo refuses and then is set up.

· Life Threatening 9: In danger to protect his family.

Mid-Point: Leo commits a crime.

· Life Threatening 10: Text from Antonio to meet him.

· Mystery 7: Antonio didn’t send the text, who did?

· Life Threatening 11: Shoot out – Antonio and Leo escape.

· Villain Plan 10: Pictures show up on Leo’s desk about his crime, ordered to quit or they will be sent to the D.A.

· Life Threatening 12: Can no longer be a prosecutor or run for DA with crime he committed

· Villain Plan 11: Leaks info about impending mob hit.

· Villain Plan 12: Community calls 9-1-1 to report impending mob hit – current mob boss is armed and dangerous and going to shoot to kill.

TP 3:

· Villain Plan 13: Police kill current mob boss.

· Mystery 8: Who will take over the Philly mob?

· Villain Plan 14: Spreads info that Leo is to blame.

Climax:

· Villain Plan 15: Tells Leo they put a hit out on him, the only way to keep his family safe is to take out new rival and take over the family.

· Villain Plan 16: Sets up Leo for the hit on the next in line to run the family.

· Mystery 9: Who set up Leo?

· Life Threatening 10: Leo agrees to be his legal counsel / his consigliere.

Resolution:

· Villain Plan 17: His plan is to build back the Philadelphia and US mafia to higher prominence than it ever had is revealed.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Life-Threatening Sequence

What I learned doing this assignment is focusing on brainstorming just the life-threatening sequence makes it much easier to plot.

What is the
Villain’s plan and how does that put the Hero in danger?

Vittorio is plotting to take over the mob and he wants Leo to do it with him, but he would never do it voluntarily so Vittorio needs to force him to do it.

What other
potential dangers could your Hero experience as they try to solve the
mystery and confront the Villain?

· Is stalked and threatened *

· Ignores the threats *

· His family is threatened passive-aggressively *

· Is shot at *

· Car chased *

· Friends with the stalker / villain, but has no idea *

· Confides in friend (villain) eventhough stalker warned him he’d die if he did *

· Lured into a war with Antonio *

· Antonio tells him to back off

· Antonio shows up at his daughter’s school or wife’s work *

· Shoot out with police and Antonio

· Set up for a crime *

· Has to quit his job over crime – pictures will be given to the DA *

· His investigator is killed *

· Tricked into meeting with Antonio *

· Can no longer be a prosecutor or run for DA with crime he committed *

· His friend / stalker encourages him to go after Antonio *

· Friend convinces him they can “protect” the community *

· A hit is put out on Leo *

· In the cross-hairs of a mob war

· Threatened while in court and it’s lie to the Judge or get family killed *

· Tells the villain who he thinks is his friend exactly what he’s going to do

· Tries to continue job after he commits crime and dangerously close to getting found out

From the list
of potential dangers, choose the ones that work for this story.

The ones with the asterisk

4. Sequence those dangers in order and make a list like the one I did for Basic Instinct above.

· Is stalked and threatened *

· Ignores the threats *

· His family is threatened passive-aggressively *

· Friends with the stalker / villain, but has no idea *

· Is shot at *

· Threatened while in court and it’s lie to the Judge or get family killed *

· Car chased *

· Confides in friend (villain) eventhough stalker warned him he’d die if he did *

· Tricked into meeting with Antonio *

· His friend / stalker encourages him to go after Antonio *

· Antonio shows up at his daughter’s school or wife’s work *

· Lured into a war with Antonio *

· A hit is put out on Leo *

· His investigator is killed *

· Set up for a crime *

· Has to quit his job over crime – pictures will be given to the DA *

· Can no longer be a prosecutor or run for DA with crime he committed *

· Friend convinces him they can “protect” the community *

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Mystery Sequence

What I learned doing this assignment is starting with the secret and creating the cover up made plotting the mysteries so much easier and clearer. It’s amazing how engrossing and complicated / confusing a thriller can seem, but when layed out using this approach they are really very simple.

What is the
big secret that the Villain is covering up?

Vittorio Genovese is taking over the Philadelphia mob.

How many
ways can they cover that secret? Those become the mysteries.

Secret: The villain is taking over the Philly mob and will bring it to prominence again.

Cover Up: The villain convinces the hero and the community, it’s the only way to keep the streets safe.

Secret: Eliminates current mob boss and biggest rival.

Cover Up: Gets the police to kill the current mob boss and rival.

Secret: Has community call 9-1-1 to report an impending mob hit.

Cover Up: Leaks info of impending mob hit.

Secret: Sets hero up for a crime.

Cover Up: Convinces hero it’s the right thing to do to save his family.

Secret: Is behind the threats to the hero’s family.

Cover Up: Offers to help the hero and takes action to that effect.

Secret: Can’t have the police investigate.

Cover Up: Plays on his experience as prosecutor to give hero reason to keep quiet about the threats.

Secret: Is stalking the hero.

Cover Up: Is with the hero when he gets some of the stalking messages.

Secret: Going to push hero to give up prosecuting to be his consigliere.

Cover Up: Befriends hero.

The first
mystery must engage the Hero into solving it.

The hero is stalked and threatened.

Sequence the
mysteries so that each one leads us to the next one. Include ONE Red
Herring mystery if you can.

Mystery #1: Who is stalking Leo?

Mystery #2: Who wants Leo to quit his job and why?

Mystery #3: What is Vittorio hiding?

Mystery #4: Who set up Leo?

Mystery #5: Who will take over the Philly mob?

Create a
Mystery Chain for each main mystery.

Mystery #1: Who is stalking Leo?

· He’s a prosecutor – red herring is a defendant

· “Code” cited for why they won’t go after his wife and daughter

· Mob hit and Antonio insinuates Leo is going to let him go

· Stalking paused while Antonio in custody

· Leo receives a message from the mob

Mystery #2: Who wants Leo to quit his job and why?

· Threats to get him to quit his job as investigations into mob heat up

· Antonio cocky, doesn’t say he isn’t the stalker

· Something related to stalking find on Antonio

· Vittorio points him toward someone in Antonio’s organization

Mystery #3: What is Vittorio hiding?

· Returns from a trip to Italy

· Dodges questions about his trip

· Shady about his job

· Run into a woman who mentions he’s no longer at company where Leo thought he still worked

· Tells Leo he has something bigger in the works, but can’t tell him yet

Mystery #4: Who set up Leo?

· Gets a text from Antonio to meet him

· Turns out to not be from Antonio

· One of Antonio’s men told Leo is coming after him

· Someone tipped the cops off

· Leo backed into a corner where he has to kill Antonio or he will kill him

Mystery #5: Who is going to takeover the mob?

· Vittorio poses the question when Antonio still alive

· Vittorio discusses the protection the mob afforded the community and the lack of it now due to Antonio’s failings

· Leo says if Antonio falls that will be the end of the Philly mob

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Villain Has a Great Plan!

What I learned doing this assignment is it’s easier to think through the villain’s plan this way. Subtext becomes easy when you use a covert plan.

End Goal:

· To takeover the family and build back to prominence with the hero as his consigliere.

Devious Way:

· Set up mob boss to get killed for threatening the hero who commits a crime to protect his family.

Cover it Up – Sequenced:

· Get all the backing he needs from Italy.

· Use digital communication to threaten the hero with revealing identity.

· Leave breadcrumbs to lead the hero to suspect villain’s rival.

· Be the confidant to the hero so he can sway him in the direction he wants him to go.

· Convince hero he needs to skirt the law to save his children.

· Tip the police off that rival is armed and dangerous and going to shoot to kill.

· Set up next in line to suspect hero is to blame.

· Convinces hero the only way to keep his family safe is to take out new rival and take over the family.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s SOTL Stacking Suspense.

What I learned about thrillers:

· Almost every action and piece of dialogue is MIS. It would be valuable to do a pass on my script to identify actions and dialogue that can’t be categorized as MIS and see if they can be elevated to such.

· There are so many little things that occur that we don’t necessarily notice when they are happening, but as soon as the later reveal happens we have that ah-ha moment.

· There were a number of things that were telegraphed in the script, which added to the suspense instead of subtracting as I would have thought before studying these two movies.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s BI Stacking Suspense

What I learned about thrillers:

· Making things obvious can heighten the suspense

· Thrillers need lots of twists

· Interesting supporting characters can be great red herrings

· Setting up the mystery in the first scene can pull the audience in quickly

· Almost every scene in BI had mystery questions, intrigue and suspense

· Characters can have strong and obvious personalities and still have some great character MIS

· Dialogue can be used to deliver strong intrigue and suspense

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s World and Characters!

What I learned doing this assignment is looking at the M.I.S. at the character level really helps to create layers for your hero, villain, red herrings and supporting characters.

1. Remind us of your CONCEPT and the Big M.I.S. of your story.

Genovese-Napolitano, A Crime Thriller

Concept: The most feared prosecutor in Philadelphia is terrorized by a mafia don who will stop at nothing to bring his family back to prominence, but who is really behind this plan and will he be able to stop them?

<div>
Big Mystery: Who has the guts to
terrorize the city’s top prosecutor and what do they want with him?
</div><div>

Big Intrigue: The mob wants him as their
consigliere so they can build back the Philadelphia and US mafia to what
it once was. With his knowledge of the prosecutors office, brilliance as
an attorney and status in the community, they have some legitimacy they
can work under if he leaves the prosecutor’s office to represent the
family.

Big Suspense: Are they going to kill him
or his family?

</div><div>

</div>

2. Tell us the Intriguing World you have selected for this story.

· Present day mafia

· Philadelphia where street crime is rampant and rising

· Italian-American alliance with the Camorra in Italy and a plot to bring the mafia back to prominence in the US, starting in Philadelphia

3. With your top 2 or 3 characters, tell us the role they play and then answer these three questions:

Hero – Leo Barone

A. What is
the mystery of this character?

Who is threatening him and why?

B. What is
the suspense of this character?

Leo is being stalked and his and his family’s life threatened if he doesn’t quit his job. He fights it, bringing on more danger and a hit put out on his life.

C. What is
the intrigue of this character?

Leo left Italy and his Camorra family for an honest and legal career and does everything he can to keep the mafia ties hidden. But he isn’t perfect and has skeletons in his closet.

Villain (appears as the Red Herring) – Vittorio Genovese

A. What is
the mystery of this character?

What is this big move he’s making in his life and career that he won’t reveal to Leo?

B. What is
the suspense of this character?

Does he cross a line and get killed? We suspect he’s up to something illegal and is going to get caught or get them both in trouble.

C. What is
the intrigue of this character?

He is a friend to Leo, who appears to know nothing about the threats, but offers up advice that supports what the person making the threats wants.

As the story progresses, he is the character we just aren’t sure about, something is unsettling about him. He speaks in “riddles,” half thoughts.

Perceived Villain – Antonio Di Salvo

A. What is
the mystery of this character?

Why does he think this plan will work? Where is the power / confidence coming from when the Philadelphia mafia is on its knees.

B. What is
the suspense of this character?

Will Vittorio beat him at his game and kill him?

C. What is
the intrigue of this character?

He lurks in the shadows, cyberstalking Vittorio for a time, before revealing his identity. What are all the secret meetings about?

[Linda Kish]

Linda Kish’s Big M.I.S.

What I learned doing this assignment is it’s easy to take seed ideas and give them depth using the Big M.I.S. and conventions of a thriller.

Genovese-Napolitano, A Crime Thriller

Logline: The most feared prosecutor in Philadelphia is terrorized by a mafia don who will stop at nothing to bring his family back to prominence.

Conventions of your story:

<div>
Unwitting
but Resourceful Hero: A prosecutor who knows the law and has resources.
Dangerous
Villain: An Italian mobster whose goal is to build the Philadelphia + US mob
to higher prominence than it ever had.
</div><div>

High stakes:
His life. His career. His family.

Life and
death situations: Life threatened. A hit is put out on him. His family is
under surveillance and their lives threatened if he makes a misstep.
Someone killed right next to him in a drive-by.

This story
is thrilling because: It combines
the natural intrigue of the mafia with an unsuspecting hero whose life, family,
and career are threatened. At first we don’t know who is targeting him or
why. As we learn who it is, they reveal what they have on him. He and his family are under constant
surveillance and he doesn’t know who is doing it or when or if they’ll
follow through with their threats.

</div>

Big M.I.S. of your story:

<div>
Big Mystery:
Who has the guts to terrorize the city’s top prosecutor and what do they
want with him?
</div><div>

Big
Intrigue: The mob wants him as their consigliere so they can build back
the Philadelphia and US mafia to what it once was. With his knowledge of
the prosecutors office, brilliance as an attorney and status in the
community, they have some legitimacy they can work under if he leaves the prosecutor’s
office to represent the family.

Big
Suspense: Are they going to kill him or his family?

</div>

[Linda Kish]

Gone Girl Movie Thriller Conventions

What I learned doing this assignment is there was a lot of mystery, layers and subtext that contributed to the thrill of this movie. The conventions in this lesson were very apparent in this movie.

The conventions of THIS story: Thriller, drama, mystery.

<div>
Unwitting
but Resourceful Hero: Nick suspects early on that his wife or someone is “playing”
with him so he hides evidence from the police. To buy time and figure out
what to do he stays a step ahead of the clues his wife left as long as he
can. He is honest, which although it can be a fault in the case, makes him
more likable and able to ward off some of the villains plans to take him down.</div><div>

</div><div>

Dangerous
Villain: She has the pedigree and mask to appear intelligent and sane. Highly
manipulative and skilled at plotting the way she frames her husband.

High
stakes: Will Nick be arrested and convicted of his wife’s murder? Once she
is back home, will she kill him?

Life
and death situations: The danger is mainly emotional and mental, testing
Nick at every turn. It is also danger to his freedom as they suspect him
for Amy’s disappearance.

This
movie is thrilling because? Although he has his flaws, Nick is likable,
and we can see him getting pulled in deeper and deeper from the beginning
of Amy’s disappearance. He made mistakes in his past and are paying for
them in a big way. There are layers to this movie, relationship and
evidence-wise. And lots of big twists that I didn’t see coming.

But I thought the ending was ridiculous, brought the entire
movie down several levels IMO.

</div>

What is the BIG Mystery, Intrigue, and Suspense of this story?

<div>
Big
Mystery: What happened to Nick’s wife, Amy?
</div><div>

Big
Intrigue: We suspect that Nick has been set up, and he was, by his wife.

Big
Suspense: Everyone is coming for Nick and his wife was very methodical
about how she framed him. The big question is will he be able to prove it
or go down for her murder? Then when she comes back, it rachets up the
suspense – is she going to kill him?

</div>

Anything else you’d like to say about what made this movie a great thriller?

· It is an interesting interplay of Nick and Amy’s voiceovers and her writings where they tell us what they are thinking, but yet there is a lot of subtext and mystery as well.

[Linda Kish]

Hi everyone!

I’m Linda Kish from Austin, TX.

I’ve finished four scripts and am currently working on two others.

During MSC-12 I realized one of my weaknesses is I haven’t mastered the conventions of the genres I’m writing in and as a result my stories lack genre clarity and aren’t as strong as they could be. My goal is to master this genre and gain more insight into how to write powerful thrillers.

[Linda Kish]

<div>Linda Kish
</div><div>

I agree to the terms of this release form.

</div>

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Level 2 Action Emotions

What I learned doing this assignment is the difference between surprise and shock and how to implement both of them.

EXT. STASH HOUSE – NIGHT

Matteo motions orders to Thomas and the group of former military special forces operatives. They fan out, surround the stash house. Matteo crouches up to the house, under the window. He raises up, but the blind is closed, he’s unable to see in.

He points to the doors. The group moves at an urgent pace, weapons drawn. Prepared for an assault, Thomas breaches the front door. They file in.

Matteo stops short. On the wall hangs a scarecrow wearing Dante’s sweatshirt. It is half burned. Across the head is written “jihad.”

Thomas leads the others through the rest of the house.

THOMAS

Over here. There’s a shed out there.

He nods out the back window.

MATTEO

Let’s go.

Matteo is the first to step out the back door. He is no longer cautious.

BOOM. A bomb explodes from the shed.

Matteo runs toward the explosion.

MATTEO

Dante …

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Level 1 Action Emotions

What I learned doing this assignment is focusing on these emotions helped direct this scene and made it much more interesting than writing it without building around anxiety/fear/relief.

EXT. MENDOZA HOUSE – DAY

FARZAAD ZAHID and JANSHER ALI sneak through a wooded area in south Texas with a young girl, PILAR CUEVAS (pre-teen), who is gaunt and speckled with dust and grime. Pilar stares at the ground as the men push her onward.

They approach a clearing and the men squat down, pulling Pilar by the tattered dress down with them. The men survey the land, squint toward a modest home. Farzaad points to a broken-in pickup truck, motorcycle, and a pristine Mercedes.

FARZAAD

(in Pashto)

Too many.

JANSHER

(in Pashto)

The girl.

He grabs her arms. Yanks her face to his.

JANSHER

(in Spanish)

You tell them about us, tell them anything, and I will kill you.

Her body trembles.

JANSHER

(in Spanish)

You understand?

She nods.

FARZAAD

(in Pashto)

No. We need to wait.

He pulls the girl toward him.

JANSHER

(in Pashto)

There will be others. Don’t question my decision.

Farzaad backs down. Eyes the girl.

Jansher grabs her by the neck.

JANSHER

(in Spanish)

Go. Eat a piece of the fruit. Make noise so they come out. Tell them nothing.

He jerks her neck, sending her to the ground. Pulls out a gun.

JANSHER

(in Spanish)

Go.

She runs. To the peach tree. Looks back, sees the glint of the gun. Grabs a peach. Throws it against the car. THUD. Grabs another one and bites in.

The front door opens.

MATTEO MENDOZA, with an air of authority steps out onto the porch, followed by his father, JUAN CARLOS MENDOZA, a frailer version of his son, but with the same sense of bravado.

MATTEO

What are you doing?

The girl ducks behind the trunk of the tree, eating the peach with an awareness of the edge of the woods.

Matteo scans the land from the porch. Juan Carlos heads back in the house. Comes out with a shotgun.

MATTEO

Put that away.

JUAN CARLOS

You think you know sitting in that fancy office, but you aren’t here on the ground.

MATTEO

It’s just a child.

Matteo steps off the porch. Juan Carlos flanks him, his shotgun at the ready.

MATTEO

It’s okay. Come.

Pilar doesn’t move. As he gets closer, he sees her attention on the woods.

MATTEO

Is someone out there?

She stares at him.

MATTEO

(in Spanish)

Is someone out there?

She shakes her head. But Juan Carlos heads that way. Pilar’s body goes into flight mode, she starts to run.

MATTEO

(in Spanish)

Stop, please. You’re hungry. We have food. Please, come eat with us.

She hides behind a stump, peers over it as Juan Carlos approaches the woods.

MATTEO

(in Spanish)

My mother is a great cook. You will love her food. She will be disappointed if you don’t come and eat with us.

Juan Carlos steps into the woods. Pilar tenses behind the stump. Juan Carlos comes back out.

JUAN CARLOS

No one there.

Matteo waves her toward the house. She follows behind them at a distance. Stops at the porch. Matteo’s mother, Carmen, hustles out to her.

CARMEN

(in Spanish)

Don’t let them scare you child. They like to show off, but you can trust them with your life. Now let’s get you fed and cleaned up.

She ushers her into the house.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Favorite Twists

What I learned doing this assignment is it helped me get unstuck with sense that were cliched and boring.

Five Favorite Twists:

Setup/Twist: Scene – The commish grills the captured terrorist.

· Deceived > Surprising Truth – The kid feigns he doesn’t want to be part of the group, but is leading them into a trap.

Setup/Twist: Scene – On hunt to find the terrorists who crossed the border.

· New Threat > Unexpected Support – Ambushed by who they believe to be drug smugglers, but they are former border patrol men. When realize who each other are, they link up with them to find the terrorists.

Setup/Twist: Scene: The commish calls Secretary of Homeland, needs more resources.

· Plan Succeeds > Plan Fails – Sec lets him explain his plan, seemingly going along with it, then tells him he needs to get back to DC, not how this should be handled.

Setup/Twist: Scene: Lead terrorist orders the remaining men he needs to get to the border.

· Identity or Plan Exposed > Identity Hidden – Expose that lead terrorist is part American.

· Deceived > Surprising Truth – Terrorists were deceived to believe he was fully one of them.

· Betrayal > Surprising Alliance – Elder terrorist backs him.

Setup/Twist: Terrorists captured at the border.

· New Threat > Unexpected Support – Congressmen who wants to tell a story, asks them about the family situation. Then puts them on a plane to another location in US.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Likability/Empathy/Justification

What I learned doing this assignment is I didn’t have near enough reasons to care for the hero at the beginning. This was a great way to think through creative ideas to add likability/empathy/justification.

LIKABILITY/LOVABILITY

1. Parents worry for his safety.

2. Surprises his parents for the weekend because he missed them.

3. Considering quitting border patrol because it is disheartening turning people away.

4. Saves children from human smuggling.

5. Witty comeback to his parents or neighbors.

6. Helps the elderly neighbors with something.

7. Finds a kid on the property, bring him/her into the house for food, etc.

EMPATHY/DISTRESS

1. Drug smugglers or terrorists converge on his parents’ house.

2. Conflict at the border.

3. Family members killed.

4. What to do with the child.

5. Killings push him to want to shut the border.

6. Lost his first love from an attack in foreign country.

JUSTIFICATION

1. Parents and wife killed by drug smugglers or terrorists.

2. Threatening note left with his son who they left alive.

3. Victim of attacks.

4. Suffered the love of his life.

5. Drug smugglers use the kid to distract so they can steal.

Why we Care

The Commish surprises his parents with a visit and they are very happy to see him. His son and ex are there and he is emotional seeing all of them. There is tension with his ex, but you can see love there.

Terrorists approach the property. Send a young disheveled girl to get their attention.

The Commish searches the property, but doesn’t see anyone.

Commish takes the girl in, feeds her, etc.

Terrorists steal transportation and take off.

The Commish takes the girl to the border and is appalled by conditions on the ground. Barks orders. Demands they take care of the girl and keep him updated on her status. His family will take her in if they don’t find her parents.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Story Map

What I learned doing this assignment is combining the tracks helped to outline the story with impactful scenes.

Opening

A1: The commissioner surprises his parents with a visit.

V1: Terrorists approach the property, send a young girl to get their attention.

A2: The commish searches the property. Takes the girl in, feed her, etc.

V2: Terrorists steal transportation and take off.

A3: The commish takes the girl to the border for processing. Is appalled by the conditions. Barks orders. Demands they take care of the girl and keep him updated on her status. His family will take her in if they don’t find her parents.

Inciting Incident

A4: Skirmish at the border. The little girl is killed.

A5: Commish chases terrorists on water with SAFE boats. But lead terrorist makes it into the US.

V3: Wants to know why the commish is at the border and why didn’t he know about it. Learns his minions left a girl at his parents’ house and stole transportation.

A6: Orders the terrorist whose plan it was to choose that house killed. Wants to know where the house is.

M1: The commish grills the terrorist in Arabic.

End of First Act – TP

M2: The commish learns enough to suspect a terrorist plot.

A7: Orders all the resources he can to the border to lock it down.

M3: On a hunt to find the terrorists who got through.

V4: Lead terrorists orders the remaining men he needs to get to the border.

A8: Terrorists captured at the border.

M4: The commish thinks he tracked them down, kills them. But it is different terrorists, more details of the plan emerge.

V5: Lead terrorist incites thousands to overwhelm the border so terrorists can slip into the US. Use women and children to get them through, then kill them.

A9: Shootout and chase. Many terrorists killed.

M5: The commish calls POTUS, needs more resources. POTUS says Commish needs to get back to DC, not how this should be handled.

Mid-Point

M6: Tracks terrorists to his parents’ house.

V6: Commish’s parents and ex are ambushed and killed. They take his son, leave a threatening note – relax the border or his son dies.

M7: The commish calls on retired military operatives.

M8: Tells POTUS to stick it, he’s not going back to DC until he finishes this.

A10: The commish and military operatives find a cell of terrorists. Torture them to find his son. They don’t know about that, but he gets out of them the plot to bomb 50 cities across America.

V7: Orders the final step of the plot into action.

M9: Barks orders at the people who used to work for him and the acting commissioner.

A11: Bombs are set.

A12: Surround the stash house where they believe his son is being held.

A13: Breach the stash house. Son not there.

End of Act 3 – TP

A14: Bomb goes off in a shed behind the stash house.

V8: Before one of the terrorists dies he implies the lead terrorist has a personal vendetta against the commish and “one of his son’s is dead.”

Crisis

M10: Time is running out. Pushes his rogue teams in 50 states to move faster, torture and kill every terrorist they find. No mercy, they show none.

A15: Tracks down the lead terrorist. Learns he is the son he never knew he had to a woman in the middle east. She was killed by terrorist org and they took her son and indoctrinated him.

Climax

V16: The lead terrorist holds a gun to the commish’s other son’s head. His half brother.

Resolution

M11: Kills his terrorist son to save his other son and millions of Americans.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Action Structure!

What I learned doing this assignment is I needed to move up a few actions and move back a few different actions and results to make the structure more compelling.

Opening: Skirmish at the border with orders from an unseen person to individuals to cross at all cost.

Inciting Incident: Terrorists cross the border and the Commissioner is alerted. He goes to the border to lead the response.

First TP at end of Act I: Commissioner’s estranged son is kidnapped.

Mid-Point: Torture of terrorists uncovers the plot to bomb 50 cities across America. Learns the lead terrorist’s identity – the torture victims hint that the Commissioner is a target as well, and it’s personal.

Second TP at end of Act II: The Commissioner is led to believe his estranged son is dead and the attacks across 50 cities is imminent. His choices in life have led to complete failure and the loss of the one person he truly cares about.

Crisis: Tracks down the lead terrorist and battle. Learns the villain is his son.

Climax: The Commissioner comes face-to-face with the villain, the son he never knew. Must decide between his two sons.

Resolution: Kills his terrorist son to save millions of Americans.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Action Track!

What I learned doing this assignment is by focusing on the action track, you can easily make sure the script lives up to the Action genre.

Action Questions:

A. Considering the concept, what action could naturally show up in this movie?

· High speed night chase

· SAFE boat water chase

· Human smuggling

· Stash house firefight

· Gunfight at the border

· Military versus terrorist battle

B. What action could work for these Mission and Villain Tracks?

· Mission

i. Rally thousands to flood the border to provide cover for terrorists crossing

ii. Kidnap son to blackmail Commissioner

iii. Planting bombs in 50 states

iv. Attempt to kill Commissioner

· Villain

i. Use children to cross the border

ii. Human trafficking

iii. Abuse of women and children

C. How can the action start well, build in the 2^nd Act, and escalate to a climax in the 3^rd Act?

· Start – Skirmish at the border > SAFE boat water chase > using children to cross the border leads to a shootout and high-speed night chase

· 2^nd Act – Son kidnapped > send thousands to overwhelm and break through the border > firefight at a stash house > hunting terrorists who kidnapped son, kill them

· 3^rd Act – Bombs planted in 50 cities > hunt and torture pockets of terrorists for info on the plan and their leader > track down the leader and battle to the death > joint task force dispersed to unarm the bombs

Sequence of Actions:

1. Discovery: Terrorists trying to sneak across the border.

Purpose: There is a threat to the US.

2. Chase/Pursuit: Chase terrorists on water with SAFE boats.

Purpose: Difficulty of keeping the terrorists out.

3. Escape: Lead terrorist makes it into US.

Purpose: Rising threat.

4. The Order: Commissioner is updated on the alarming number of terrorists attempting / crossing the border. He orders massive resources to the border to block them. Flying there himself.

Purpose: Commissioner is not going to let them beat him, takes it personally, and owns the responsibility.

5. Shootout: Terrorists use children to get across the border > leads to a shootout and a child is shot by the terrorists

Purpose: Shows the level of evil

6. Ambush & Kidnap: Commissioner’s ex-wife and son are ambushed and the kid is kidnapped.

Purpose: Escalating the hero versus villain conflict, making it more personal.

7. Dangerous Situations: With the Commissioner distracted, the villain incites thousands to overwhelm the border so terrorists can slip into the US.

Purpose: Villain is building his army in the US.

8. Competition: Commissioner and Villain directing teams against each other.

Purpose: They are both powerful and raises questions as to who will win.

9. Interrogation & Torture: Commissioner captures terrorists and tortures them for info about his son.

Purpose: Commissioner is willing to cross lines to find his son.

10. Pursuit: Commissioner goes after the leader. His former military buddies join him.

Purpose: Now he knows who his adversary is.

11. Shootout: Gets to the hiding place where he thinks his son is and engages in a shootout.

Purpose: Think Commissioner is going to win this one.

12. Escape/Evade: Villain escapes with the kid.

Purpose: Villain plans ahead, not going to be so easy.

13. Rescue: Rescues his son.

Purpose: Commissioner wins one, but Villain isn’t there.

14. Torture: Discovers they have a plan of 50 bombs across the US. Tortures the remaining terrorists to new levels.

Purpose: Millions of American will lose their lives if he doesn’t succeed.

15. Hunt and The Order: Hunt for the terrorists and gives kill orders to the rogue military groups who are rooting them out.

Purpose: Escalating the conflict with an expectation that it’ll be a fight to the death.

16. Fights: Terrorists versus rogue military members across the US.

Purpose: Don’t know the outcomes. Who will win?

17. Final Battle: The fight to the death hero versus villain.

Purpose: One will die, one will live. Or …

18. Haunting Kill: Commissioner now knows the villain is his son.

Purpose: Dilemma with a choice that has to be made.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Villain Track

What I learned doing this assignment is the villain must make a lot of moves in action movies to keep escalating the conflict.

Villain Track Questions:

A. Terrorist’s plan was hatched over a period of time while he was radicalized. Deadly conflict at the border is the first step in the plan.

B. Orders men to use children, women, and anything else they can to get across the border. Kidnaps Border Commissioner’s son. Rallies and sends thousands to break through the border. Paid hit on Commissioner. Going to kill his son.

C. Thousands of terrorists who have no morals. It’s his plan so he has the strategic advantage over it. He has been tracking the Commissioner and his son so he knows his moves, which is how he is able to easily kidnap his son. Kills a child to show Commissioner what he is going to do to his son.

D. Terrorists’ plan blown up and all taken down. Terrorist knifed by one of the children he abused and then killed by his own father who chooses his estranged son over him.

Clear Villain Plan:

1. First Action: Deadly conflict at the border.

2. Thwarted: Commissioner stops teams of terrorists he sends to cross the border to enact his plan.

3. Dilemma & Retaliation: Don’t want to enrage Commissioner, but need to control him.

4. Capture: His son.

5. Decision / Trap: Kill children to draw him out.

6. Plan / Movement: Move the son to another place.

7. Plan / Power: With Commissioner distracted, sends thousands to the border to overpower it.

8. Escape: Escapes attempts against his life.

9. Plan / Day of Reckoning: Orders the final implementation of his plan to kill millions of Americans in 50 cities.

10. Fitting Ending: Trapped into giving away details of the plan, which is used to thwart it. Terrorist type fight that takes out his inner circle. Child stabs him. Forced into an execution style killing like he does.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Hero’s Mission Track

What I learned doing this assignment is that thinking about the mission and what could go wrong helped uncover a few twists.

Mission Track Questions

A. Border Commissioner: Former special forces who is responsible for protecting the border from terrorists coming across.

B. Up against the most ruthless terrorist group that will stop at nothing, has the weapons and a decentralized plan that is impossible to contain, and is led by a man who blames him for his mother’s death. Is decommissioned and has to go rogue.

C. Internal Motivation: Feels like he failed the love of his life who was killed at the hands of these terrorists.

External Motivation: The terrorists are going to kill millions of Americans, have his estranged son, and will kill him as well.

D. Deadly conflict at the border, search for his estranged son, covert mission attacks terrorists, kills to rescue his son, hunts for the terrorist leader – torturing his minions to try to get information, military vehicle chase.

Clear Mission: To save his son, get revenge on the terrorists who kidnapped him, and kill them before they kill Americans.

1. Motivation for the Mission: If Americans die as a result of terrorists crossing the border, he feels their deaths are solely on him, including his son’s.

2. Inciting Incident: A deadly conflict at the border and terrorists cross into the US.

3. First Action: When he learns the terrorists used children and got them killed, he floods the border and hunts the terrorists who crossed over.

4. Escalation: His team kills the terrorists. In retaliation, they kidnap his son.

5. Overwhelming Odds: He and POTUS disagree over strategy. He goes rogue against thousands of terrorists sent to enact the plan to kill Americans in 50 cities.

6. Twist: Terrorists lead an army that overpowers the border.

7. Apparent Defeat: Terrorists run free and his attempt to rescue his son fails.

8. Apparent Success: Ex-military ops join him and kill who they believe is the leader of the terrorists.

9. Twist: Real leader of terrorists is his son he never knew he had. (Or the twist is that they think they killed him, but he got away).

10. Full Out Attack: Learn where they are hiding out and attack. Terrorist son is ready to kill his estranged son. He must choose one or the other.

11. Success: Defeat terrorists. Reunites with his estranged son. Frees all the children who were being radicalized by the terrorists.

[Linda Kish]

Linda Kish’s Hero and Villain

What I learned doing this assignment is this process helped to flush out the conflict and pit the hero against the villain to new levels.

1. First Pass

· Concept:

o Hero Morally Right: Save his son’s and the children’s lives who are being used by the terrorists.

o Villain Morally Wrong: Terrorist, kidnapper, child abuser.

· Hero:

o Unique Skill Set: Ex-military ops operator. Border Patrol Commissioner.

o Motivation: Terror plot targeting US. Son is kidnapped.

o Wound: He blames himself for not being able to protect his translator and his parents who were killed during one of his military black ops missions.

o Secret: He bent the law to get his translator’s brother to the US and have him placed with a family.

· Villain:

o Unbeatable: Was recruited by ruthless terrorists and taught to blames the Commissioner for his family’s death. Seeks revenge on the Commissioner and the US.

o Plan/Goal: Set off bombs in 50 cities across the US on the same day.

o What the Villain loses if the Hero survives: Can’t avenge his brother’s death. He dies.

· Impossible Mission:

o Puts Hero in Action: Leaves his desk job and goes on the hunt, fight in the US, then middle east.

o Demands the Hero go Beyond His Best: Was an operator who was given the mission, now is rogue and hasn’t been in the field for years so must summon both strategy and operator.

o Destroy the Villain: Kills handfuls of terrorists along the way to final showdown where he takes down the mastermind.

2. Improved Answers

· Hero:

o Secret: When he was in military ops he got a woman in the middle east pregnant. He shipped out and never knew. An airstrike by the US killed her so when he went back to get her she was dead and the child taken by a terrorist group.

– Wound: He couldn’t / didn’t save his girlfriend.

· Villain:

o Unbeatable: Told his mother was killed by US strike and rationalized by most ruthless terrorist group.

· Impossible Mission:

o Destroy the Villain: He learns the villain is his son.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Conventions!

What I learned doing this assignment is figuring out these key aspects of an action story saves a lot of time and starts the brainstorming process off on an improved path.

Concept: The US Customs and Border Protection Commissioner rules the border with a firm hand, but can he stop a ruthless terrorist group who will stop at nothing, including kidnapping the Commissioner’s estranged son, to implement their plan to set off bombs in 50 cities across America.

Highly Skilled Hero: Commissioner for the US Customs and Border Protection and ex-military black ops operator who has lost empathy.

Impossible Mission: To keep a powerful terrorist group intent on killing millions of Americans from crossing the border.

Demand for Action: The terrorist group, which uses children and immigrants to manipulate and carry out their mission, kidnaps the commissioner’s estranged son.

Antagonist: Head of the terrorist group.

Escalating Action: Conflict at the border kills low level terrorists. Then they use children to try to sneak across and are caught, chase scene. Attacks at the border. A few terrorists succeed in crossing and kidnap the commissioner’s son in an attempt to distract him from their mission. The commissioner hunts them down and kills them, finding other children with his son all mistreated. Then goes after the head of the group in an unauthorized mission.

[Linda Kish]

1. Linda Kish

2. I’ve written 4 scripts – 2 sci fi dramas, a comedy and a drama.

3. Action is not one of my strengths so I’m hoping to gain some tips for improving writing action scenes across my scripts, but also interested in seeing what I can do with writing an action script.

4. I’ve rapelled down a 32 story building.

[Linda Kish]

Linda Kish

I agree to the terms of this release form.