[Kevin Lobo]

Hi Everyone! Hope you have all had great success after this course. I got a lot out of it and now have a fully edited, reread and reedited, and reread and reedited and rewritten draft, LOL!!!

I am looking for some feedback. Would one of you like to read my horror feature, DAVISVILLE EVIL? I am happy to return the favor.

I can be reached at lobokev@gmail.com. Thanks.

(P.S. – I know there was a final feedback class/session, so I am posting this).

[Kevin Lobo]

Lesson 15: Writing Nail Biting Action Description Kevin Lobo’s Writing Nail Biting Action Description

What I learned…is how brilliant, gripping and riveting writing action description can be when done the way this lesson so vividly portrays and teaches. Thank you!

EXT. THE GOVERNMENT SECURE OPERATION CENTER, SOC – NIGHT

Neil watches the change of guard in the lobby… begins to walk through the revolving doors…

INT. THE SOC – CONTINUOUS

Swipes his stolen card… walking rapidly without a pause.

A guard signing off on a computer screen turns in haste…

GUARD

Sir… Sir… your id please!

Neil continues walking… slows down his hurried steps… half turns… holding up the card… a hint of a smile… other hand rolling…

NEIL

An emergency… need to rush!

He reaches the elevator… leaps in quickly… as the guard breaks into a run.

INT. THE SOC ELEVATOR – CONTINUOUS

One man inside… nosey… stares at Neil…

NOSEY MAN

Hey! That guard was still running after…

NEIL

An emergency… need to get up there fast…

NOSEY MAN

Didn’t see you hit the floor button!

Neil eyes down… a quick scan of the depressed buttons… blurts…

NEIL

Seven… it’s already…

NOSEY MAN

Seven is restricted… my domain… can I see your id?

The nosey man begins to reach for the red button…

Neil reaches into his pocket… a quick grab and… BAM! The knuckle punch rams into to the nosey man’s face… blood spurts…

Neil… hits the stop button… 5^th floor… he grabs the collapsing man and…

INT. THE SOC – 5^th FLOOR – CONTINUOUS

Neil hauls the man out… scans the hallway… no one… turns his back to a camera and leaps into the stairwell… the passed-out man in tow…

HOOT! HOOT! HOOT! The alarms scream to life…

INT. THE SOC – 6^th FLOOR STAIRWELL – CONTINUOUS

Neil leaps up the stairs… sheds his overcoat and hat… a pristine business suit underneath…

He merges with in with the flood of employees streaming out of their offices.

[Kevin Lobo]

Kevin Lobo’s Writing Great Action Set Pieces

What I learned…is that writing Action Set Pieces is more of a scientific art use the model presented rather than dream it, live it and let it flow on the page! I used the model in the lesson rather than the one in the assignment to create the action set piece.

1. Build in Meaning (Lesson 14)

Pre-Action

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[Kevin Lobo]

Kevin Lobo’s Making Action Unique

What I learned…is that focusing on a unique action set helps drive the plot in a targeted direction.

Pick at least one action scene that you want to make more unique. Then use this process to generate ideas.

1. Looking at your entire story, what is unique about each of these places:

1. Environment:
2. Rules:
3. Villain:
4. Mission:
5. Struggle:
6. Unique
   Skillset: This is the focal piece I chose from my hero who is cyber
   security specialist now on the wrong side of the law – hacking and
   executing cyber attacks – everything he fought against.
7. Meaning:
8. Allies:
9. Weapon:

2. Brainstorm ways to make one or more of those places unique:

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[Kevin Lobo]

Kevin Lobo’s Level 3 Emotions: Danger, Excitement, and Adrenaline

What I learned…is that how well crafted the example in the lesson is. I used it as a template to guide my actions and the action steps in my head found an exact structure to flow based on the given example.

Outline of a scene(s) that includes

SETUP: The hero returns to his apartment having escaped the government agents who he now realizes are acting as part of the false setup that is the rival gang.

EXT. THE OLD RUNDOWN BUILDING – CONTINUOUS . .

The hero calmly exits the taxi knowing that he is re-entering the his first lab where he has already been attacked. He knows the government agents are following him and will most likely take down the local gang set to exact revenge on him for not bringing them the crypto they asked for as protection money.

SUSPENSE …Will the local gang hanging around attack and shoot him in the busy street.

With his heart thumping hard, expecting to be struck by blows or bullets at any time he calmly swipes into the building.

A local gang member gets into the elevator for him, waiting for the door to shut before pulling out his hand from his jacket which the hero assumes most likely holds a gun.

THE GANG MEMBER IN THE ELEVATOR

SURPRISE: Noticing the gang member’s hesitation in shooting him in sight of the other residents, the hero presses the door hold button allowing other residents to come in to the elevator thus creating a bit of an insurance against an attack.

CLICK! CLICK!

The hero quickly presses multiple level buttons ensuring that the elevator ride will be interrupted at multiple levels giving him time to…

SLAM!

– press the slamming elevator door and squeeze out thus leaving the gang member trapped in the elevator.

INT. THE BUILDING STAIRCASE – CONTINUOUS

ADRENALINE: – The hero starts racing up the building steps racing to his 7^th floor apartment to reach and salvage some of his equipment.

He has to pause multiple times to catch his breath after a few flights of steps leaving us in suspense if he losing precious time or will someone come racing up after him or having anticipated his move will the elevator gang member have alerted someone waiting at the top to come down the steps.

EXCITEMENT: Having made it safely to the 7^th floor, the hero calmly walks to his apartment past other residents so as not to raise unnecessary alarm.

He begins to gain confidence, enters his apartment, locks the door and shoves a heavy cupboard against the door.

Having gained a step ahead, the hero hesitates and seeing his equipment intact, hesitates and quickly logs in and triggers off the initial payload that will initiate the cyber-attack on his own controlling gang.

The gang are at the door breaking down the door.

INT. THE HERO’S SECRET APARTMENT – CONTINUOUS

DANGER: The hero sees the cyber-attack kick off with multiple lines of code scrolling across his screen, He verifies from another computer if the attack initiated off the cloud is good.

He hears the door go down and the blocking cupboard pushed over.

BANG! BANG!

The gang has entered the apartment shooting wildly.

SUSPENSE: The hero moves quickly to unplug his laptop, grab his documents, wallet but no sign of the gang… he hears the voices and radios of other gunmen and knows that the government agents have reached, probably shot down the local gang and now they are coming for him.

EXT. THE FIRE ESCAPE – CONTINUOUS

The only escape left for the hero is the fire escape and he calmly exist out on to the old, rickety fire escape, pressing back hard against the slimy walls to stay hidden and safe from a deadly fall to his death.

EXT. A LEDGE – CONTINUOUS

FEAR: – The hero hears the shouts of the government agents and the return replies and static on their radios as they look up and down the fire escape. He presses back hard into the ledge from both fears, getting shot by the government agents or from falling over to his death.

BEGIN INTERCUTS BETWEEN THE HERO’S ALERTS FROM HIS ATTACKS AND THE GOVERNEMNT AGENTS IN HIS APARTMENT.

The hero begins to descend down another level on the fire escape and sees…

…the agents begin to descend down after him…

ADRENALINE: . ..We see the hero gain confidence in taking two steps at a time as he sees the next level in sight –

– he also begins to hear voices below as other agents anticipating his arrival below are beginning to swarm the lower floors –

– he sees the window to an apartment open and slips in and shuts the window behind him – the alerts of his attacks reach a peak requiring further inputs from his… he has to make a decision… should he pause and log in and keep the attack going or continue to escape.

Eventually, he finds a quiet spot in the washroom as the old woman occupant of the apartment come around slowly to check her suspicison…

He hides behind the washroom door, puts his phone on mute and logs in – and thus successfully taking his cyber attack to the next level.

– He searches finds an old coat and hat, dons it and leads the old woman to the staircase mingling quickly with the other escaping occupants and thus hiding successfully.

He exits out on to the road and in the melee quickly slips away as he sees more government agent cars race back to the building.

EXCITEMENT: – he slips into a deli and looks at this alerts…the attack is succeeding…

RELIEF: He exits out of the back door of the deli and slips into a taxi. He hooks into the controlling gangs network and sees the panic messages and the interrupted data as the network goes down.

He has reached the center of the city and pauses comfortably hiding in a busy bus line knowing that he has set things in motion.

END INTERCUTS

[Kevin Lobo]

Kevin Lobo’s Level2 Action Emotions: Surprise, Shock and Suspense.

What I learned…is that how these level2 action emotions help to transition the story to a higher level and keep the action going on a definite path. From Anxiety, Fear and Relief to Surprise, Shock and Suspense – all known ingredients I knew I had to build in but this is a clear defined path to working them in.

Outline of a scene(s) that includes use surprise, shock, and suspense:

Surprise:

As the hero enters the black market for the first time, he sees how easily all of the hardware that he needs to set up his secret attack lab, is so easily available. His surprise is further escalated when he sees the level of expertise that the underworld has, masked men, who set up everything and who he is convinced have a regular day job too.

Shock:

The hero’s lab is almost instantly attacked as he is about to set out on his mission of taking the rival gang’s IT infrastructure down. He has to learn very quickly that the underworld is all connected and news of his set up has spread quickly. His shock grows by the minute as he sees their level of mastery of the cyber world and their own nefarious goals to use him to rob crypto to finance their own small time operations.

Suspense:

The hero escapes, but is easily caught and brought back. He is blindfolded, beaten and tortured to teach him a lesson. He wonders if the gang, having taught him a lesson, will take him back to his lab to re-undertake the attack for crypto or will they get rid of him.

[Kevin Lobo]

Kevin Lobo’s Lesson 10: Level1 Action Emotions: Anxiety, Fear and Relief

What I learned…is that each of these 3 emotions can be an excellent guide to writing out the opening scene and setting the tone of the movie with a definitive guide, giving it a structure.

Create a scene that uses all three of these Action emotions.

1. Look through your outline and choose a scene that could use anxiety, fear, and relief.

My opening scene(s)/sequence captures all of these 3 emotions, setting the tone of the movie.

2. Create an outline of the scene that includes each of the three emotions.

Anxiety:

· The opening scene is a home preparation underway by the hero and his wife setting up the house for a birthday party for his brother.

· There is a very evident conflict between the two as she detests the event and the very presence of his brother. We get a sense of the trouble that the brother always brings (the hero promising that the brother has given up his gangster ways and drug filled life).

· The Anxiety peaks as the brother arrives, and right behind him, an armed gang raid the house, taking the three hostage. The ruthless nature of the gang leads to extreme anxiety as to what they want and what it their purpose.

Fear:

· Fear strikes the hero and his wife as the brother is ruthlessly beaten up, and taken away.

· The fear psychosis continues as the departing gang, leave a note for the hero to show up an undisclosed location and not to call the police. The hero becomes aware that the gang were not there just to pick up the brother as part of some gang related activity but there is something more to their demands and he is about to be sucked into something bigger.

· The gang also leave the hero in fear when they hit upon his beautiful wife warning him about watching out lest something take her away.

· The hero is left in fear at multiple levels.

Relief:

· The hero fearfully goes to the location that is given.

· His immediate relief is that he is told that the brother will not be harmed if he fulfills the gang’s demands. His relief, with a catch is that it was not the brother the gang were after – it was him.

· While there is catch, and he knows his life is about to be turned upside down at the demands they are making of him, his mission is something that involves his IT Cyber skills that he is very good at.

3. Write the scene as a first draft, highlighting anxiety, fear, and relief.

· This scene is a work in progress and will be added to the notes shortly.

[Kevin Lobo]

Kevin Lobo’s Lesson 9: Twists that Engage Us!

What I learned…is that each of these twists that will lend the surprise element cannot be done on the fly. A meticulous planning, gels right in with the plot of the story as it moves and this brainstorming helps build the plot of the story itself.

Brainstorm ways to use one or more of these twists:

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[Kevin Lobo]

Kevin Lobo’s Lesson 8: Why Do We Care?

What I learned…In thinking and writing out this section, I learned this is the heart of any story, especially action where this critical piece can get lost. If not there, this likability/empathy piece can quickly get identified as gaping hole, leaving audiences with an incomplete feeling of caring for their hero and his journey.

ASSIGNMENT: Brainstorm answers to Likability/Empathy / Distress/Justified
for your Hero.

LIKABILITY/LOVABILITY

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[Kevin Lobo]

Kevin Lobo’s Lesson 7: Map Out Your Story!

What I learned…In combining the structure with the 3 previous tracks – Mission, Action and Villain tracks I straight up saw the loop holes in my story or the mismatches in the flow of action. For e.g. it exposed the villain plan not gelling in with the hero beginning to have doubts or about the abduction of the wife as well at a particular stage. I plan to keep this faulty one to be able to identify the mismatches and correct these in a following version – like a before and after.

THE STRUCTURE:

1. Opening:

From Lesson6: The hero and his reluctant, arguing wife throw a birthday party for the hero’s younger brother. She hates it. He says he owes it to him. Their house is swarmed and attacked by a gang that abduct his brother.

M1 – Motivation: His brother goes missing. To save his brother from a long prison sentence and even death.

V1 – MISTAKE: The villain realizes that the hero, has created a false attack impersonating a foreign power and thus taken the attention off himself.

2. Inciting
   Incident:

From Lesson6: The hero goes searching, is blindfolded and is confronted by a secret gang lord who knows all about his background. The hero, a cyber specialist must take down a rival gang if he wants his brother back or else the brother will be tortured and killed or exposed to the government for his gang activities, and face a long prison sentence.

M2 – Inciting Incident: He is physically attacked himself and realizes that the brother was used to reach him – he is the one they are really after.

V2 – DILEMMA: He cannot confront the hero with this information since he is the only to whom the hero has reported this action plan.

3. First Turning
   Point at end of Act 1

From Lesson6: The hero goes against his wife, takes on a task that completely negates all he has stood for. He decides to become a cybercriminal himself to take down the rival gang and save his brother.

M3 – First Action: He must take down the rival gang’s network – gets working on it.

A1 – Chase/Pursuit – As the hero sets about doing his cash purchases, he gets mugged for the amount of cash he carries, attempts to rob him as he looks for unsuspecting locations in crime ridden neighbourhoods, and has to flee as well when he naively tries to free his brother.

V3 – DECISION: Trap the hero’s wife in an affair and get him to open up about the fake foreign attack.

4. Mid-Point

From Lesson6: The over confident hero fails to break through and is quickly tracked down by the authorities and the rival gang.

M4 – Obstacle: He is a secret government cyber agent himself fighting against this very crime.

A2 – Fight – His fight is on two fronts, cyber and physical. As he launches his initial cyber attacks, he is traced back and the rival gang pin down his location and sent hit squads to trace and kill the hacker.

A3 – Shootout – The hit squad trace him down and in the shoot out he manages to overpower them and obtain a weapon. It is his first touch of a weapon.

V4 – PLAN/HIT CONTRACT: The villain updates the hero’s file constantly as he goes about hacking the rival gang thus ensuring that the hero will be fully trapped legally once the action is executed.

5. Second Turning
   Point at end of Act 2

From Lesson6: The hero’s wife abandons him for another rich man who the hero quickly discovers is an implant of the controlling gang. He must now save both his brother and his wife and fight back physically as well.

M5 – Escalation: His marriage is in trouble due to his dedication to his errant brother. The wife decides to leave him for a rich businessman who he knows secretly as a member of the gang holding his brother.

A4 – Rescue – He tries to rescue both his wife and brother and realizes that he is not up to the intense physical capabilities of the gang’s hit men.

V5 – PLAN/HIDING OUT: Holds the hero’s wife and brother in a secret villa fully guarded by electronic systems and armed guards knowing that the hero is an amateur when it comes to weapons.

V6 – RETALIATION: He sends tortured pictures of the hero’s brother and fake pictures of his wife having sex with the fake executive – threatening to spread them on the web.

6. Crisis

From Lesson6: The hero must now infiltrate his own government and simulate an attack originating from a foreign power, potentially risking a life sentence or an execution if caught.

M6 – Overwhelming Odds: He now has to break through the most secure government network to get to the cyber encryption keys that will help him take down the rival gang’s network.

A5 – Escape/Evade – He escapes the hit men, the government agents that begin to zero in home him and goes underground completely.

A6 – Competition – He is competing with an unknown enemy that may also be interested in hacking the gang’s networks to bring them down and take away the millions in illicit funds stashed in Swiss banks.

V7 – ESCAPE: He has a secret jet on a private airport from where he can quickly hop off to a Caribbean island with full immunity to American justice.

[Kevin Lobo]

Kevin Lobo’s Creating Your Action Structure!

What I learned…Creating the structure forced me to think the exact ups and downs, the twist and the deepening mystery, the action – placing them exactly where they should happen.

1. Look through your three tracks (Mission, Villain, and Action) and find the points that could work for this structure.

1. Opening:

The hero and his reluctant, arguing wife throw a birthday party for the hero’s younger brother. She hates it. He says he owes it to him. Their house is swarmed and attacked by a gang that abduct his brother.

2. Inciting
   Incident:

The hero goes searching, is blindfolded and is confronted by a secret gang lord who knows all about his background. The hero, a cyber specialist must take down a rival gang if he wants his brother back or else the brother will be tortured and killed or exposed to the government for his gang activities, and face a long prison sentence.

3. First Turning
   Point at end of Act 1

The hero goes against his wife, takes on a task that completely negates all he has stood for. He decides to become a cyber criminal himself to take down the rival gang and save his brother.

4. Mid-Point

The over confident hero fails to break through and is quickly tracked down by the authorities and the rival gang.

5. Second Turning
   Point at end of Act 2

The hero’s wife abandons him for another rich man who the hero quickly discovers is an implant of the controlling gang. He must now save both his brother and his wife and fight back physically as well.

6. Crisis

The hero must now infiltrate his own government and simulate an attack originating from a foreign power, potentially risking a life sentence or an execution if caught.

7. Climax

The hero quickly gets into the rival gang and realizes that it is a front face for a secret government network set up to trap his controlling gang. If he gives into the rival/secret government gang, his wife and brother will be both killed. He must now operate alone and set out to physically rescue them as well.

8. Resolution

The hero exposes the secret government gang, forcing them off the attack, he takes down his controlling gang, thus exposing the secret gang lord as a high government official and in preventing the gang lord’s escape to a foreign power, rescues his wife and brother being used as human shields.

[Kevin Lobo]

Kevin Lobo’s Create Your ACTION Track!.

What I learned…A lot of precise planning goes into creating the action sequences for a script of this nature to create the kind of escalating action that audiences pay to see.

ASSIGNMENT:

Create a rough draft of your Action Track.

1. Answer the Action Questions:

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[Kevin Lobo]

Lesson 4: Create Your Villain Track!

Kevin Lobo’s Villain Track!.

What I learned…To have a meticulous plan for the villain that will create a well-structured plot line for the villain.

ASSIGNMENT:

1. Ask the Villain Track questions to discover your Villain’s plan, decisions, and actions.

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[Kevin Lobo]

Lesson 3: Creating The Mission Track!

Kevin Lobo’s Hero’s Mission Track.

What I learned…To avoid jumping into the script filling in action pieces that come to my mind without proper planning. This clearly lays out the mission around which the entire plot line can be built.

ASSIGNMENT:

1. Ask the Mission Track questions to discover your Hero’s mission.

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[Kevin Lobo]

Kevin Lobo’s Hero and Villain.

What I learned…This lesson helped me define my hero and villain, their personalities, strengths, weaknesses and other finer details long before the story/plot takes shape. It helped me focus entirely on these two important entities in themselves, thus building the two strong pillars before getting caught in the noise of the plot.

ASSIGNMENT:

1. Fill in the blanks and see what shows up.

Concept:

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[Kevin Lobo]

Kevin Lobo’s Conventions!

What I learned…Think of the concept and the Action Hero at a very high level without the benefit of a story or finer details.

Concept: A regular IT-Cyber Security programmer, must give in to a Crime Lord’s gang and hack the rivals to save his errant brother trapped in the gang and facing a long hard sentence.

When his upset, unsuspecting wife abandons him for a rich business man, he realizes that the gang has a double hold on him and it will require more than just his IT skills to save them.

Conventions

Hero: A cyber
security specialist.

Demand For
Action: Rescue his brother and wife from the clutches of a gang lord.

Mission: He
must hack the rival gang and take down their black-financial network.

Antagonist: A
ruthless gang lord.

Escalating
Action: He is drawn deeper and deeper into the inter gang rivalry, must
secretly please both and finally pick up a real weapon if he is to save his
wife and brother.

[Kevin Lobo]

Kevin Lobo’s Finishing Horror Outlines Powerfully

What I learned… See a full outline with the focus just on the horror scenes systematically broken up into definite heading gives the reader a clear and full picture of the script from a pure horror perspective. It retains the essence and flow of the story without distracting away from the horror elements.

ACT 1

1-EXT. RURAL DAVISVILLE, current day – NIGHT

Setting the scene for Davisville, the town for our story.

2-EXT. bush logging CO. OFFICE – NIGHT

Setting the scene for where the teen party begins.

3-INT. A SECRET PARTY ROOM, bush logging CO. – NIGHT

Six teens, Bradley, Sarah, Ruth, Jason, Glen and Kimberly are finishing a wild pre-Birthday party and decide to go reveling around town to ring in Bradley’s 19th birthday at midnight.

4-exT. bush logging CO. parking lot – continuous

The top-down Impala screeches out of the office – six teens crammed inside, whooping and screaming. Bradley drives, Sarah snuggled into him – next to them is Kimberly, eyes glued to the road ensuring they get to the cemetery.

5-EXT – THE CEMETERY gate – NIGHT

When the Beer guzzled Bradley decides he needs to take a leak, Jason and Glen follow their idol.

Kimberly dares them to go in. When they hesitate, Ruth goes ahead and they follow.

6-EXT – THE CEMETERY – NIGHT

Slugline: The partying teens enter the cemetery.

Essence of the scene: Kimberly deftly guides the rest to the grave of JH, while some begin to get wary of where they are.

Horror Situation: A little storm picks up. Kimberly’s spell begins to drone in the wind.

Horror emotions: Some try to escape, some get emotional, weep and want to get back on the road and continue their party.

Scares: Something weird is happening and they feel the jitters.

Releases: Everything dies down as they swig a strong Cognac in celebration and find a bit of quiet.

Monster reveals: The chant, the spell, the droning voice resurface, the grave erupts, Bradley, the birthday boy gets possessed and is physically assaulted by an unseen force. He is shortly killed, crucified upside down on a tree.

Apprehension/Anxiety – Surprise – Shock.

7-INT – AN FBI MEETING ROOM, NEW YORK – DAY

Julia Langley, an FBI agent leads an all-male highly successful FBI team that has just returned from another successful raid busting a drug gang.

8-INT – THE FBI BOSS’S OFFICE – DAY

Julia is called into the Boss’s office and asked to head to Davisville. In the fierce resistance that follows, we learn of Julia’s revulsion and anxiety.

When she is asked to work with the old priest and a retired, reclusive detective, she asks rather to be sent directly to a mental asylum where she thinks she will land up eventually due to this assignment. She has no choice.

9-EXT – THE TOWN SQUARE – DAY

The town folk gather to begin a manhunt for the missing Bradley.

10-EXT – THE CEMETERY – DAY

The Sheriff and a search party find Bradley’s headless, upside down crucified body, they also discover a ruptured grave with no cross, just marked JH.

Knowing glances, and whispers of ‘he’s back’ among the elders leads to the mystery that they know something but remain secretive about.

A secret silent fear spreads through the village elders protecting themselves with religious objects without divulging the details to the horrified village but warning the village parents to lock in their teens.

The Sheriff dismisses it as the work of serial killer who he will find.

10-INT – the secret hideout room – DAY

The remaining five teens secretly and fearfully find their way back to the party room to reconnect. We learn of Sarah’s deep loss being Bradley’s girlfriend; Ruth’s resolve to keep living wild as a tribute to Bradley, and Kimberly’s refusal to accept that the spell was anything more than a silly game.

Only Jason and Glen fear that the spirit was real and will seek revenge for disturbing it.

11-INT – THE VILLAGE PUB – NIGHT

As the details of Bradley’s heinous murder emerge, Tom Monaghan, a secretive, old, rich man, generally ignored by the regulars, makes a quick escape from the pub as tempers rise.

12-EXT – THE VILLAGE STREET – day

Julia arrives to a very hostile reception in Davisville. The town elders openly mock her as powerless against an evil spirit which she dismisses instantly, promising to catch the killer.

Eli Mizrachi, Ruth’s grandfather and the town registrar, warns Sarah’s parents to lock her up as she is the next to turn 19. They are baffled, as is Julia.

13-EXT – giovanni pegulia’s house – DAY

Giovanni Pegulia, the retired FBI detective refuses to engage with her. His depression, and mention of her father whom he knew, takes her back to her own father’s suicide as a failed FBI agent. It is something she dreaded all her life but has to face now.

Giovanni advises her to arrest Tom to stop the carnage to follow. He asks her to kick the evil parish priest out of the village further putting doubts in Julia’s mind on top of her own childhood fears of an abusive priest. Julia questions if Tom is the killer, why is the priest evil?

14-EXT – the village church – DAY

Julia’s meeting with Fr. Augustus McConaughey is surprising pleasant against some secret fears she carries. He is amiable, helpful but just as secretive.

He dismisses the notion of an evil spirit and encourages her to search for the killer.

However, she snoops on an open email on his computer with an urgent petition seeking permission to conduct an exorcism.

15-EXT – sarah’s house- DAY

Julia is further baffled when Sarah’s parents will not allow her to talk to Sarah. Julia hears screams from Sarah’s room but her terrified parents explain it away as a symptom of Sarah missing Bradley whom she was in love with. The spirit has begun manifesting itself and tormenting Sarah.

The news of a spirit begins to spread through the village.

16-EXT – the village street – DAY

The teens defiantly decide to ring in Sarah’s birthday at a deserted mine that belonged to the rich Bradley, another of their hangouts. Julia tries to follow the secretive teens around town as they load up for the party.

The Sheriff promises to help when Julia refers to the investigation by Giovanni and refers to the ancient warehouse unvisited for decades about having to hunt down that file in some dusty old storage.

17-EXT –SARAH’S HOUSE – night

Julia, who is staking out Sarah’s house, discovers from the upheaval at Sarah’s that she has given them the slip.

She hunts around and follows the distant music sounds, that turn to deadly screams and eventually finds the abandoned mine.

18-ext – the abandoned mine – night

The teens arrive at the abandoned mine to ring in Sarah’s birthday.

18A-int – the abandoned mine office – continuous

Slugline: The partying teens fight their depressing and mournful emotions of Bradley’s killing and get into a party mode.

Essence of the scene: Sarah experiences the spirit manifesting itself but is unable to convince the rest that it is there.

Horror Situation: The spirit begins to surface in Sarah manifesting itself in a male voice.

Horror emotions: The rest hear the voice but are unaware of what is happening.

Scares: The rest flee to the side of the room as Sarah screams and shrieks at the physical torture the spirit is putting her through.

Releases: Sarah explains away the strange sounds to the storm outside and her weird behaviour to her missing her boyfriends Bradley desperately.

Monster reveals: The evil spirit fully possesses Sarah at midnight. It locks the teens in and physically assaults them as they try to help Sarah.

Julia finds them but is powerless against the spirit.

The spirit kills Sarah, battered against the concrete walls and finally crucified upside down in front of them.

It moves to Ruth and she is flung far.

Julia sees the suspicious Tom in the shadows and the Sheriff arrives as soon as Sarah is killed.

19-INT – the sheriff’s office – day

The villagers who initially frowned on the disruptive teen gang of 6 that were turning 19, now begin to empathize and fully try to protect the teens.

The parents are angry and fearful, and demand results. Julia goes along with the Sheriff’s story of a serial killer at work, confused at what she can do, despite having seen Sarah’s killing live by an invisible ghost.

The entire village rally around Ruth’s family knowing her 19^th birthday is coming up. The four remaining teens are warned not to meet up anymore.

Julia gets the usual procrastination from the Sheriff for the file, the usual flak from Giovanni for not arresting Tom, and Fr. Augustus’s belief that Tom has nothing to do with these events.

20-EXT – the rectory – night

Julia, begins to work on her own. She maintains a lookout on Tom, and sees him come to meet Fr. Augustus secretly at night. She begins to believe in Giovanni’s theory, still dismissive of the evil spirit theory.

21-EXT – the crime scene – day

Julia investigates the crime scene and discovers that despite the gory beheading, upside down crucifixion, there is no blood and no other clue. She begins to believe it is a spirit at work.

22-INT – ruth’s home – day

Ruth’s family come up with a plan, hatched by her fearful grandfather. They trick Ruth into believing that they have won a vacation to Vegas and the family can celebrate her birthday there in big style.

23-INT – julia’s room – night

Jason and Glen begin to reach out to Julia to help but are kept away by the their parents in a bid to protect them. Secretly, Julia, Jason and Glen begin to fight the spirit in Ruth but are powerless.

24-INT – the rectory – day

Julia tries to warn Fr. Augustus about her findings but he dismisses them all the while trying to take on the battle himself. Julia is convinced that Fr. Augustus is practicing for an exorcism.

ACT 2

25-EXT – the forest road – day

Slugline: The Mizrachi family, begin their drive away from the town headed for Vegas to celebrate Ruth’s birthday.

Essence of the scene: The spirit begins to surface in Ruth in a bid to get the family to lose their way in the forest.

Horror Situation: Ruth displays her full blown possession.

Horror emotions: The family are terrified. Her father tries to physically subdue her but is powerless against the brutal strength of the possessed teen.

Scares: The family has never seen this before and are terrified, and helpless to see their daughter in this state.

Releases: Ruth returns to her normal self and explains away the possession as a passing occurence. They begin to find their way back to the road.

Monster reveals: The evil spirit fully possesses Ruth, attacks her father at the wheel, crashes their RV and kills the rest of the family.

26-EXT – the village main road – day

The village is shell shocked as a dazed and shocked Ruth innocently drives her dead family back. The villagers know that their safety has been taken away, they are trapped, isolated and locked in the village until the spirit gets what it wants.

The spirit begins to torment Julia through Ruth in secret asking her to bring it back and that it will exact its full revenge. Julia does not know what or where but decides to go looking for Tom’s file.

Julia talks to Ruth and finds flaws in her story of the killing of her family. She is unable to bring Ruth to Fr. Augustus, in the faint hope of an exorcism and an end to the killings.

27-exT – the cemetery – day

Slugline: Jason, Glen and Kimberly go back to the cemetery secretly in a bid to find a way to undo the evil.

Essence of the scene: Kimberly, tries to undo the spell believing that writing it backwards could put the spirit back.

Horror Situation: Ruth arrives.

Horror emotions: Kimberly, Jason and Glen try to flee from Ruth since they know she carries the evil spirit in her.

Scares: Frozen, shivering and fearing for their physical safety.

Releases: Ruth talks normally, her usual self, even gets them to share a group hug. The teens begin to relax believing that Ruth is fine.

Monster reveals: The evil spirit fully possesses Ruth when Kimberly tries to reverse the spell. It attacks them physically, cutting off their escape.

Julia’s arrival saves them.

The possessed Ruth flees as the Sheriff arrives having heard Julia’s warning shot. Julia is surprised at that occurrence.

FEAR – SUSPENSE – DREAD

28-INT – tom’s house – day

After the killing of Ruth’s entire family, the villagers growing anger and Giovanni’s nagging, Julia decides to arrest Tom.

In the raid on Tom’s house, Julia finds nothing suspicious but does chance on a bunch of hand written envelopes that Tom has received and a picture of a younger Tom, a youth and a mysterious large third figure. The frame is back titled with the names Tom, JH and a blank for the third name. It is Julia’s first direct clue to JH and a possible third mysterious person.

29-INT – the village church – night

The villagers gather together in a show of strength to protect Ruth as she heads into her birthday at midnight. They suspect the pattern the evil spirit has followed and are determined to protect Ruth that night.

30-EXT – outside the village church – night

Slugline: Ruth escapes her grandfather as he drives her to the Church. The spirit in her fears the Church.

Essence of the scene: Jason and Glen, the next to turn 19, are fiercely guarded by their parents angering Ruth who can’t get them to join her in to ring in her birthday. They anger the spirit as well as they stay protected in the Church.

Ruth however tricks Kimberly into joining her, assaults her in her possessed state and her fearful screams end up drawing out the villagers and the twins to protect her.

Horror emotions: The town folk fear that the spirit is there but are unable to see it as the spirit let’s Ruth be normal.

Scares: Mass panic, screaming, fleeing and hysteria in the town folk many of whom are seeing the possessed behavior for the first time.

Releases: Ruth talks normally, fooling the town folk into believing she is normal. She gets them all to join her in the town square to ring in her birthday, thus getting the next victims, Jason and Glen out as well.

Monster reveals: Ruth is viciously possessed, assaulted and killed by the spirit. It openly declares who it is, seeks revenge and wants something returned back to its grave. The horror of what they face comes full face to the villagers.

Horror emotions: The town folk turn their anger on Julia who is taken into the priest’s protection helped by Giovanni who is defeated himself knowing that Tom’s arrest did not stop Ruth’s killing.

Julia realizes she is at her lowest point having made no progress to stop the killing and the action she took failed. She finally embraces the evil spirit theory.

31-INT – the village church – night

Julia, Giovanni and Fr. Augustus finally come to terms and decide to work together. Julia fully discloses her fears, Fr. Augustus breaks his religious confessional vows and discloses why he protects Tom.

They decide that the only way forward is for Julia to find the police file herself and exhume the JH grave to find the hidden answers.

Fr. Augustus gives Julia a religious object to protect herself.

32-EXT – the village street – night

Julia finds the Sheriff at night, following her, protecting her. She gets him to share the location of the police file warehouse.

33-INT – jason and Glen’s home – night

Slugline: With Jason and Glen both having been exposed to Ruth’s killing and their birthdays coming up next, they are in full terror along with their family and the villagers.

Essence of the scene: The town takes a decision to keep the inseparable teens apart but it becomes an impossible task as the spirit drives the possessed teen to the other brother. It becomes a vicious battle with full possessed behavior by the teens.

Horror emotions: Desperation, tears, fleeing to a different location and physical breakdown.

Scares: The evil spirit openly surfaces in Glen and Jason alternately and assaults them and those around them with brute force.

Releases: Small victories for the town folk as they realize they have successfully kept the teens apart preventing the evil spirit from possessing them both.

Monster reveals: It is now a full fight between the spirit and the town. The villagers live in abject terror, knowing that they have no weapons or defenses of any sort against a belligerent evil spirit hell bent on its next killing.

34-EXT – the police warehouse – day

Julia goes alone to search for the missing file. An exhaustive search with a nagging suspicion that she is being shadowed finally leads to her finding the file, but escaping just in time as a deadly fire ravages the warehouse.

Julia decides to keep the file a secret and declares it has been probably lost in the fire.

The religious object does not protect Julia and she begins to suspect a human at work with the spirit.

35-EXT – the cemetery – day

Julia faces a huge backlash as she proceeds to exhume JH’s grave secretly. She is surprised at the fear expressed by the Sheriff himself in further disturbing the spirit of JH, and has to bring in external help for the strenuous task, least of which is living her own demons of having run away from the burial of her own father after his suicide.

Julia discovers the headless body of JH, a big buckled belt from the picture that helps her identify him and strangely a few strands of blonde hair. The picture in Tom’s house showed Tom and JH as dark haired. The cemetery caretaker who did the burial swears that JH had his head on when buried.

Julia also finds the discarded envelope addressed to Kimberly and finds the same handwriting as the envelopes in Tom’s house.

The blonde hair, the fact that Tom is physically disabled, the similar hand writing on the same envelopes and the mysterious figure in the picture all lead Julia to believe another figure is at work.

Julia figures out that the spirit is after its head, and that she also has to find the missing heads of the teens killed by JH’s evil spirit.

ACT 3

36-INT – jason and glen’s home – day

The evil spirit shifts from Jason to Glen alternately trying to bring them together and there are many fights as each possessed teen tries to get to his brother.

37-EXT – the village street – day

With the angry spirit unleashing mayhem through the possessed teens, Jason and Glen alternately, and others becoming collateral victims, hysteria sweeps the town. The paranoid villagers turn on each other as factions form in the best way to protect the teens.

Paranoia grips the village knowing what the JH’s evil spirit wants and that it may continue its killings until it gets what it wants. They resolve to fight to the death and support Julia however possible.

The villagers reluctantly begin to rally around Julia after her discoveries and progress in the case. Julia also goes secretive as she realizes from the warehouse fire, the villagers attack at exhumation and the feeling of being constantly shadowed that someone who knows her plans is thwarting her.

Julia discovers more details from the secret police file she has. She finds that Giovanni’s raid on Tom’s house revealed the findings of secret black masses and upside-down crosses, Fr. Augustine’s word that saved Tom, the identity of JH as Jason Hugh as the teen who carried out the killings for Tom, and that he faced vigilante justice – a single shot to his head on his 19^th birthday when he walked free due to circumstantial evidence. She begins to understand Giovanni.

Giovanni exhorts Julia to raid Tom’s house but she is denied permission as Tom is already jailed and his arrest did not stop the killings.

38-INT – the village jail – day

The beginning of strange occurrences at the jail where Tom is housed, his constant loud reading of his bible, and a similar droning chant that accompanies the spirit’s killings. Tom strangely appears fearful and decides to accept responsibility for the killings. It confuses Julia, leading her to believe that Tom may not be guilty after all or just an accessory.

39-INT – jason and glen’s house – day

Jason and Glen get together and are joined by Kimberly in defiance on the eve of their birthday as a tribute to the 3 friends they have lost. Secretly, the ever-brave Jason and Glen are wanting to defeat the spirit and end the killings with their own deaths. They leave notes for each other in their normal state.

The normally brave Jason and Glen lose control of themselves. Their screaming and helplessness, gets to Kimberly who knows she is nEXT.

She still refuses to accept responsibility and help Julia but helps Jason flee from the possessed Glen. They revel in the thrilling escape that they beat the spirit and may yet be able to turn things around.

40-EXT – the cemetery – night

Slugline: Jason and Kimberly, buoyed by their small victory decide to go back to the cemetery at midnight to put things back in order. Jason and Glen are tricked into meeting up. The teens believe that they will trap the spirit back in its grave. They play right into the hands of the spirit and are killed by it.

Essence of the scene: Kimberly tries to reverse the spell but her lack of knowledge of what it is ends up attracting Glen and the possessed spirit back there.

Horror emotions: Fear, anxiety, desperation and Dread.

Scares: The evil spirit openly surfaces in Glen and Jason alternately and assaults them and those around them with brute force.

Releases: Jason and Glen appear normal as they head to the cemetery fooling them into believing that they are winning.

Monster reveals: The spirit kills both Jason and Glen, crucified upside down in the cemetery just as it wanted. Julia manages to spirit Kimberly away but in a vicious attack that follows, the spirit finds her, the last teen. Kimberly has survived but know that it is just 24 hours to her birthday and death lies around the corner.

Julia finally sees the spell torn from a book that may be something she may have seen at Tom’s house and the refusal of the Sheriff to let her raid Tom’s house, and with the final deadline looming she decides to secretly raid Tom’s house that night to save Kimberly, and stop the killings in a bid to find answers. She believes therein lies the resolution.

41-EXT – THE VILLAGE COFFEE HOUSE – NIGHT

Julia asks Kimberly, through whom the spirit has been stalking her to drive her car away as a false lead and takes on her deadliest fear and challenge.

Fr. Augustus and Giovanni, suspect Julia’s plan and follow her to help her.

42-int./ext. in julia’s car – night

Julia switches places in the car and bails out.

43-EXT – tom’s house yard – continuous

In a final deadly night, venturing alone, secretly into Tom’s yard, Julia has to battle deadly killer dogs, spirits and traps of all sorts.

44-INT – tom’s house – night

Slugline: Julia battles her away into the house but is brutally assaulted.

Essence of the scene: Julia is attacked by a killer dog, a storm and the possessed Kimberly. As she falls deeper and deeper into the house, the basement and crypts below, viciously attacked by the possessed Kimberly, Julia ends up finding a secret black Mass chamber from where Tom has continued his evil activities. She finds Jason Hughs head, identified from the bullet hole on the forehead and his signature crooked jaw – details she finds in the file. She also finds the missing heads of the teens killed thus far.

Horror emotions: Extreme fear, reluctance to go ahead with her mission, weeping, shivers, jitters, vomit, bile are all the extreme emotions that Julia goes through as she battles the evil place all by herself in the dark.

Scares: The evil spirit in full possession in Kimberly viciously assaults Julia.

Releases: In a final victory, Julia realizes that the evil spirit may have assisted and helped her in finding the secret crypt with all evidence of the black masses and its own head along with those of the teens.

Monster reveals: A fully possessed Kimberly at close hand in a brutal physical assault on Julia.

As Kimberly goes away, the spirit sings a rhyme, “Time will silver your golden hair…” leading to the growing doubt in her mind who might be the mysterious third.

Julia takes the skull and dashes to the cemetery in a bid to save Kimberly from being killed at the fast-approaching midnight deadline.

47-EXT – the cemetery – night

Julia’s arrival at the cemetery is instantly seemingly thwarted by Tom who has broken from the jail. Tom tries to declare his innocence and help her but they are accosted by the droned chants.

As Julia tries to restore the head, the Sheriff arrives and is revealed as the mysterious third figure, and it all clicks in Julia’s head.

Julia becomes aware that all of her moves have been foreseen and the only one privy to those is the silver haired village sheriff who may have been blonde as the spirit sang. Tom himself displays an inexplainable dread of the Sheriff during his interrogation taking on all the blame himself. In that moment of realization, she clicks on to the fact that the Sheriff is the third, who may also have shot Jason Hughs on his release to protect his identity and removed the head from the grave for further evil acts.

In a vicious battle that follows, the possessed Kimberly arrives and the spirit storms from her into Tom, to exact revenge on the Sheriff. Julia is assaulted by both sides. Fr. Augustus arrives and tries to exorcise JH’s spirit to save Tom. The ill-equipped Fr. Augustus is fatally attacked by the possessed Tom. The Sheriff tries to kill them all by awakening other spirits.

Giovanni arrives and shoots the sheriff to prevent further slaughter and also shoots Tom to try and save Fr. Augustus but it is too late. Giovanni finds his redemption in both the killings as it was the Sheriff who sabotaged Giovanni’s investigation in the first place and took over from him.

In helping Fr. Augustus sign himself, repeat an Act of Contrition and die in peace, Julia finds her own redemption in not having helped her own father in his dying moments.

Kimberly escapes the killings and is the only teen that survives.

Or an alternate ending

The Sheriff escapes as Giovanni battles the possessed Tom to save Fr. Augustus thus setting up the seed for a sequel.

[Kevin Lobo]

1. Kevin Lobo.

2. “I agree to the terms of this release form.”

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Kevin Lobo]

Kevin Lobo’s Scary-As-Hell Scene

Act 1

Safety taken away:

This is their first real indication that something bad is going to happen to them. They somehow lost the person, thing, map, or escape route that they had depended upon for safety.

The leader of the gang, Bradley, first to turn 19, has been possessed and killed by the evil spirit in the opening scene. Sarah, his girlfriend, is turning 19 next, does not want to celebrate her birthday, but is goaded on by the gang.

Monster: The nature of the beast:

Now, we see some version of what the monster can do. After the opening scene, this is often the second reveal of the monster, but we are only seeing a small part. We might see the result of a kill or some clues to something bad that happened in the past.

From the opening scene, as the surviving gang escape, we sense the spirit flow into another teen, Sarah – we now see the evil spirit erupt in Sarah. We see an extended possession, the physical harm to her, the upside down crucifixion, the death and the audience senses the flow of the evil spirit into another teen.

SCENE: Isolated/Pursued:

INT – the abandoned mine office – night

It’s the eve of Sarah’s Birthday. Sarah, Ruth, Kimberly, Jason and Glen begin slowly but turn into full party mode as they miss their leader, Bradley.

Unknown to them, Sarah has been slowly manifesting her possessed self. Just before midnight, the possessed Sarah locks them up in the room and begins a deadly evil torment of the teens. The spirit now in full possession of Sarah, threatens that they are all next in line.

Julia, shoots her way through the locked doors and rescues the teens but not before the spirit directly torments her and makes some demands. Julia and the rest of the teens are violently attacked by the possessed Sarah whom the spirit crucifies upside down.

We see the silent rush of wind, something invisible going to Ruth. JH’s spirit has chosen its next victim.

Anxiety: The teens
remember the evil spirit’s warning as it killed Bradley – the first death.
The warning has been vague. The teens, nor the audience, don’t know the
pattern yet. The teens simply sense that the disturbed evil spirit is
coming for all of them out of revenge and not anything more.
Surprise/scare: Sarah’s
is aware of the spirit manifesting itself in her but has kept it a secret.
In the noise of the party it surfaces again but she scampers out of the
party room just in time.
Release: The teens believe
Sarah that it is just her missing Bradley, trying to recreate his voice.
Shock: Sarah is
unable to go out the next time. The evil spirit imitates Bradley’s voice
in her.
Fear: The
teens see Sarah partially possessed but…
Dread: in a bit of denial
still believe that it is Sarah missing Bradley.
Release: Sarah assures
them she is fine and displays her normal self. It is not yet midnight and
the spirit is waiting to strike at the stroke of midnight.
Panic: As the teens
sing to ring in Sarah’s birthday, she goes into a full possession in front
of the remaining four.
Anguish: The teens see
Sarah go through a horrible beating and torture by the spirit. Along with
Julia who breaks in to rescue them they see Sarah die a horrible death as
she is slammed upside down into the wall and crucified.

EXT – THE ABANDONED MINE – NIGHT

THE NEXT FEW 18SERIES SCENES WERE WRITTEN AS PART OF LESSON 14 – SCARY-AS-HELL-SCENE.

An abandoned mine… mounds of excavated earth, rusting machinery and a cinder block office with a metal door.

Sarah puts down her hamper and juggles a bunch of keys… she finally succeeds with one and holds the door open for…

Kimberly and Ruth, with grocery bags full of their party goodies, and, Jason and Glen, hauling a twelve pack.

Sarah, hesitates, closes the door on them and leans on it…

The faint moonlight reveals a panicked, pale face that…

Bursts into a demonic one… cheeks yanked to the sides… fiery eyes and her pony tail that lashes like a whip.

A muffled, hoarse voice breaks out.

MALE VOICE sARAH

I got you, Bitch? Got you, Got you…

The door bursts open as Sarah crumbles to the ground.

Jason and Glen lift her… Ruth hugs her and Kimberly holds the door, watching tense, biting her lips, fearful.

jason

What the fuck was that?

KIMBERLY

Just the storm… I guess…

sARAH

It warned us…

kimberly

And already got its revenge already.

jason

Let’s get in, if it’s coming for us…

GLEN

Then it’s taking on the five of us.

ruth

Together!

18A-int – the abandoned mine office – continuous

The gang settle Sarah in a chair… Ruth still hugging her…

sarah

I can’t do this, guys —

ruth

For Bradley, for your love, for —

Glen

You don’t have to, Sarah.

kimberly

NO! It’s not Bradley, its –-

sarah

It’s that… please understand —

ruth

We do, darling, and we’re ringing in this 19 on our own fucking terms… for now, nothing that a little…

Ruth hits the music and shoves a Beer into Sarah’s hand.

ruth (cont’d)

Beat and Beer wont fix. Let’s Rock it!

sarah

Oh, my Brad, my Brad —

the rest

OUR BRADLEY!

Sarah bursts out crying… drowned by the beat…

They huddle into a large group hug… slowly moving… a few yells, whoops and then break off to grab a drink as…

Sarah is sprung up full length by the spirit… it speaks as…

bradley voiced sarah

Happy Birthday, Sarah, Happy –-

Unaware, the teens join in imitating Bradley’s voice, until…

A very loud shriek breaks out from Sarah.

She storms out of the room screaming.

The rest flee to the sides, cold shivers and frozen faces.

Sarah returns… desperately trying to put on a smile.

ruth

What the fuck was that?

NORMAL VOICED sarah

Sorry, I miss him so bad.

Relief and tense smiles from the rest as they slowly go to her outstretched arms… tears… Ruth hits the music again…

ruth

Bottoms up for Bradley.

Loud cheers as they guzzle down their beers, except…

Sarah who chokes on a fierce spasm, and gnashes her teeth.

Kimberly cranks up the volume and the little space echoes.

Ruth gyrates on to Jason and they go into a frenzied kiss.

Glen extends his hand… to Sarah… she blushes and falls into his arms… a slow waltz in the middle… cheers from the rest…

GLEN

He was the best… will always be…

NORMAL VOICED sarah

What would I do without you guys?

Kimberly watches them… tense… a nervous jitter… checks her watch… 11:59:00 PM – begins muttering…

kimberly

Please no, no, please, let it be ok.

RUTH

Hey, I brought a fucking cake.

Ruth shuts the music, sets the cake on a stool, tears flowing… it catches on… tears all around…

ruth (CONT’D)

For our Bradley… and his Sarah?

NORMAL VOICED sarah

For our Bradley…

She blows the candle… eyes closed; she bends over the cake…

A single spasm rocks her body… a loud belch… she chokes…

Ruth hugs her, patting her back, rubbing it when…

Sarah’s hand flies out and smacks Ruth across the face BAM!

Ruth is thrown back… stumbles and crashes into the wall.

They jump back startled… as Sarah… head bowed begins to rock… back and forth… faster and faster…

Low growls and moans emerge… a soft voice to a growl to a…

MALE VOICED SARAH

Aren’t you going to sing for me?

Jason hauls Ruth up… a cut lip… blood pours down her nose…

On the other side Glen hugs a bitterly weeping Kimberly…

KIMBERLY

I’m so sorry, so sorry…

Kimberly stops, eyes glaring, charges Sarah…

KIMBERLY (CONT’D)

You son of a… leave my Sa —

Sarah’s hand springs out… lifts Kimberly and toss her back…

Into Glen… both crash into the wall.

The four begin to inch to the door but Sarah shoots to the door… blocking it…

MALE VOICED SARAH

Aren’t you going to sing for me?

They stare blank, as the strobe continues to flash, revealing dark piercing eyes that begin to float… Sarah is suspended in mid air her pony tail prancing like a snake…

MALE VOICED SARAH

I SAID SING FOR ME! Happy Birthday…

Croaking voices try… nothing emerges… they fall to their knees, bodies in rigor…

Jason and Glen’s eyes meet across the room… a nod…

They charge Sarah… again two hands reach out lift them like puppets and slam them to the floor.

Sarah’s faint voice emerges…

NORMAL VOICED SARAH

Please, please, let me go.

MALE VOICED SARAH

Please, please let me go.

KIMBERLY

You can do it Sarah… Try, Sarah…

JASON

We’re sorry… we’ll make it up to… what do you want… we’ll do it.

Sarah darts across the room… floating… a terrifying scream…

MALE VOICED SARAH

Kill them, kill them, kill them all –

A fierce knocking at the door… their eyes light up…

Sarah floats back to the door.

JULIA (O.S.)

Kimberly, Jason… open up… its Agent –-

Sarah opens the door, a fist flies out, a groan from Julia… the door slams shut again.

MALE VOICED SARAH

She can’t help… my 18s never to be 19s.

Sarah is flung into the wall… collapses… rises… blood pouring out of her temple, a broken wrist hangs upside down… her hands reach out and yank her hair, tearing out a mass of it… a scream… she’s in pain.

NORMAL VOICED SARAH

Please, let me go, let me –-

She is slammed like a puppet into the floor, into the wall…

The rest scream hysterically as Sarah is mauled and then…

JULIA (O.S.)

Stand back from the door.

BAM! BAM! BAM! The door rattles… THUD… a kick from the outside and it flies open…

Julia enters, a gun and flashlight aimed straight…

Julia collapses to her knees at the sight… the teens charge over to her.

MALE VOICED SARAH

Too late, too late…

Sarah is slammed into the wall over and over again. Her body is spun around like the arms of a clock until…

Julia charges, grabs Sarah off the wall, protectively tries to hold her in a hug but…

Sarah goes into a vicious spin… tosses Julia off…

Sarah is finally slammed into the wall one last time… a creaking of bones… turned upside down, arms stretched out… a laugh, a groan a final warning…

MALE VOICED SARAH

I’m coming for you peeps…

Sarah’s head whiplashes repeatedly… a vicious crack… her skull on the wall… her dilated eyes go still.

Julia drags the remaining four out slowly as the door goes into fierce slamming…

It stops… slams open once more… a fierce wind gushes out…

Into Ruth who is flung back, passed out.

Julia charges to Ruth… a faint face in the bushes… flees…

JULIA

Tom? TOM! Come back her you —

A cruiser speeds in, the Sheriff dashes out.

[Kevin Lobo]

Kevin Lobo’s – Scares, Releases, and Creepy moments

What I learned doing this assignment is…one has to really think deep to find those small moments to provide these essential moments which are so key to a successful horror.

SCARES / RELEASES / CREEPY MOMENTS

EXT. THE CEMETERY – NIGHT

Kimberly’s kneels by the grave and dusts it. She reads the page quietly as her whole body goes into a rigor. She does it again and jumps up shrieking in fear as…

Bradley grabs her from the back.

BRADLEY

Gotcha!

Kimberly screams. Turns around and punches him.

EXT. THE CEMETERY – DAY

(In this scene, Kimberly, Jason and Glen have secretly ventured into the cemetery, leaving Ruth, the possessed one behind. They’ve checked on the way that she is home).

They reach the grave, still hunched low, grip hands, cold hands sending shivers down their backs. Kimberly pulls out the spell.

KIMBERLY (cont’d)

Ready?

RUTH

(Right behind them)

Ready.

They leap at the sound of her voice right behind them, muffled moans and screams.

(Further –

Ruth reaches out to the fallen Kimberly offering her a hand to pull her up – Kimberly accepts hesitantly – again it turns out to be a normal Ruth.

The possessed Ruth invites them for a group hug as in the past – they oblige cautiously, petrified that the Evil Spirit may suddenly surface – it turns out to be a harmless group hug).

Kimberly, left kneeling at the grave, shivers violently, a trembling cry breaks out of her voice as she looks up at Ruth standing right above her – a grin on her face.

KIMBERLY

Hey… you… didn’t see –-

RUTH

The party queen? Not fair, Just the four of us left, we got to stick together.

Ruth reaches out her hand… Kimberly takes it hesitantly, her body frozen in fear, wanting to but not daring to look into Ruth’s face.

RUTH (CONT’D)

Group hug? Guys, come on.

Jason and Glen come around pensively… peering closely at Ruth’s face… any signs of the evil spirit surfacing… listening for any change in her voice.

Ruth gathers them up in a big hug and let’s go. They relax a bit as she sits… they creep as far as they can. She begins to weep softly.

int. tom’s living room – night

SLAM… the large doors slam shut as if pushed by someone… the silence and darkness return.

She searches for a switch, finds it but draws away, tip toeing along the wall… a window… she looks out and catches the droning chant again, faint…

She works her way back to the door, feels for the knob… when… the doors blast open and…

The storm, the droning voice and the possessed Kimberly with her deathly scream all burst in together.

int. THE SECRET CHAMBER BELOW THE BASEMENT – CONTINUOUS

A short tumble into a lower sub floor… the door swings back shut and SILENCE.

Julia lies in her collapsed position, broken, bloodied… suddenly numb to the pain.

She finds herself desperately covering her nose… the bile in her throat ghastly… she spits hard… covers her nose hard looking around for the source of the deadly stench…

She sees Kimberly in the crashed panel… silent and still.

She rises slowly, taking in the room, turning round and round as if under a spell. Upside down crosses, frames of burnt crosses, hooded folks in pictures, skulls, witch craft objects and in all of them the same large man…

Julia collapses, head spinning… Kimberly screams…

Julia grabs a low table to rise but the unattached table top flips over with a loud THUD…

Julia tumbles flat to the floor… crushes her right shoulder, reaches to soothe another injured part and freezes, eyes bulging, her body convulsing…

Inside the low glass table, inches from her face are…

The rotting, maggot filled heads of Bradley, Sarah, Ruth, Jason, Glen, and in their middle…

A skull… clean white, a bullet hole right in the center of its forehead and a very crooked jaw.

A dirty taste fills her mouth… the oily gravy from dinner…

She opens her mouth to spit it, but her hands instinctively cover her ears from her own long, endless, piercing shriek…

She chokes on the blood and the vomit in her mouth…

[Kevin Lobo]

Kevin Lobo’s Level 3 Horror Emotion Scene:

What I learned…. Going through these final 4 emotions almost becomes like a framework to work through to really structure the final scenes… brilliant way of going about it…Anguish / Panic / Horror / Hysteria

EXT. THE village coffee house – night

THE NEXT 3 SCENES ARE A PART OF ACT 3 – WRITTEN AS PART OF LEVEL 3 HORROR EMOTION SCENE – ANGUISH-PANIC-HORROR-HYSTERIA.

Julia and Kimberly emerge from the coffee shop… silent… slow steps. Julia swirls around…

Mrs. McKinnon staring at them… hurriedly slams the door… a lock clicks… the lights go out.

Julia pulls the teen in close and guides her to the car… a few stares from across the street… she ignores them.

INT./EXT. IN JULIA’S CAR – NIGHT

They drive in silence… Kimberly reaches out and takes Julia’s right hand… gripping it hard with both hands.

Julia sees the abandoned diner lot and swings in. She slips out of the car, kneeling… motions Kimberly to climb over.

Kimberly, surprised… climbs over…

Julia grabs her in a silent hug not bothering to check any more for signs of the evil spirit in Kimberly.

Julia

Honey, I feel like a walk, need to think. Dump it on the motel lot… leave the keys in, I’ll grab them later.

Kimberly

Will do… be careful… it’s a chilly one!

Julia

Sure… I’ll fix this, I promise.

Kimberly nods and drives off.

Julia runs to into the forest. She lays low as fearful spasms grip her body. She looks through a bush and sees…

A car pull up… Fr. Augustus and Giovanni. They see Kimberly drive away. They follow.

Julia darts off into the dark forest instantly battling the foliage and low branches. Her phone falls… she picks it… the screen still lit… on it is her destination… TOM – 36 PICKERING AVENUE.

EXT – tom’s house yard – continuous

Julia does a final crawl and scans Tom’s house… a deadly dark silhouette, menacing and evil, wrapped in darkness.

She sinks low and bursts into tears soothing the cuts and bruises… trying to patch back her torn coat… delaying. Her nose drips like an open tap… she feels her pockets but instead blows into her coat, loud and then panics.

Julia

Shhh! Shut up…

She cradles her quivering cheeks in her hands and wraps up her shuddering body into a tight ball… rolls to the ground and jumps right back up with a scream as something crawls.

Julia (cont’d)

Get away…

She pounds the ground angrily, stops, as her nose begins its long drip again. Silence returns. She chants… a frenzy…

Julia (cont’d)

Run away, Julia, run away, run away…

Her hands drifts to her gun instinctively. She draws it, plays with the safety… lock, unlock, lock unlock, in a flash she places the muzzle in her mouth, and giggles.

A car approaches… she slides low… the Sheriff’s cruiser. It drives past… a faint chatter echoing from its radio… she smiles remembering…

Julia (cont’d)

New York… let’s go stupid!

Buoyed, she leaps over the wall hissing…

Julia

For Kimberly… for the teens that didn’t make it!

She darts from tree to tree… silence after each foot step… until a silent crunch becomes real… she listens…

Another dart… another crunch of tiny feet… she slides to the ground, alert, reaching for her gun… trembling hands, too late as something slams into her… sends her sprawling…

It leaps on her chest… pinning her down…

She grabs something… its throat with her right as its hot breath snaps on to her left wrist…

Angrily gnawing down threatening to tear apart her wrist…

Julia screams in pain as her right-hand squeezes and digs hard back into the fleshy throat… it yelps and let’s go of her left wrist, choking.

Julia rolls to her feet, left hand half dangling, she draws her gun with her right, circling in the dark… it darts around her in the bushes… a trained killer…

Julia braces against a large tree and waits, whispering…

Julia

Come out, come out you son of a bitch.

It leaps straight at her throat from the dark…

She ducks right… it latches on to her coat lapel… a part of her flesh included… she squeals in pain… she brings the gun up but it throws her hard back to the ground.

It snaps its mouth… going for her jugular… the gun falls as she reaches with both hands for its throat.

The dog and Julia roll in a fierce struggle… its claws ripping her clothes, she feels it’s wet nose on hers… fierce low growls emerging… she winces as something hard stabs her back… her gun…

In one swift move she yanks her right hand… grabs the gun and, BANG, into the dog’s chest… it falls on her… dead.

Julia lies still, panting, her hands wrapped around… hugging the dead dog. Her tears flow both sides.

She rolls to her left… feels her left wrist… moves it… it survived… she draws her left hand from under the large dog…

Julia

Sorry, Buddy…

The wind picks up, swishing through the trees, distant footsteps get close… a chanting drone floats on the air… she gasps looking around in fear… slaps herself hard over and over again… and breaks off into a rant…

Julia

Alex, Rueben, the rear… Harry, James, fire escape, Peter, covering fire, Bob, the ram, these bastards don’t play games, shoot to kill, rest, ready… 3,2,1 GO!

She draws her gun and sprints for Tom’s door… a behemoth double door, kicks it open and falls through.

int. tom’s living room – night

SLAM… the large doors slam shut as if pushed by someone… the silence and darkness return.

She searches for a switch, finds it but draws away, tip toeing along the wall… a window… she looks out and catches the droning chant again, faint…

She works her way back to the door, feels for the knob… when… the doors blast open and…

The storm, the droning voice and the possessed Kimberly with her deathly scream all burst in together.

Julia is thrown over, rises quickly, leaps in the dark to the other side… the kitchen… but Kimberly is right in front, this time a punch catches her in the stomach…

She gasps for air, bent on her knees, when…

A vicious kick lands in her midriff… she rolls right over, jack knifing back to her feet but…

The punch is ready… to the nose, she falls right back, into a narrow stairway… like a dead bundle, bumping and thumping all the way down.

INT. – THE BASEMENT – CONTINUOUS

She feels her nose, tries to push it back straight… messy hands… all blood and mucus… a bone creaks in her back… she bends back and sees…

Kimberly at the top of the stairs… a ghastly figure in the faint red stair case night light.

Male Voiced Kimberly

Hello again, Agent!

Julia shoves two chairs in the narrow stairway and flips a switch… another faint red light… a large hall… mounted with stuffed heads of hunted animals, Bear, Elf, Moose…

She sprints to the other end as the two chairs from the stairway crash next to her… one catches her back… to the floor again.

Julia rolls into a fetal position, weeping hysterically, stuffing her fist into her mouth to silence herself.

She lies still… an eternity… faint hustling footsteps… she rises a few inches when…

The deathly scream rifts into her ear… right next to her.

Kimberly’s two fists shoot out like battering rams… slammed into the ground again… Julia rolls, crawls, furiously…

A BUMP, she is under a table, Kimberly’s bare feet a few feet away.

Male Voiced Kimberly

You will find it, Agent! Find it, find it…

Julia springs to her feet, gun drawn, hands drooping, barely holding the guns, when…

The deathly drone gets louder. Kimberly screams louder… in agony… her head tossed viciously from side to side, as if fighting the voice.

Julia runs through an arch, a kitchenette… a dead end… Kimberly’s voice floats through.

Male Voiced Kimberly

Son of a bitch, you, son of a bitch!

Julia, confused, feels around as Kimberly comes through…

A handful of knives fly… Julia to the ground… her head hits something… in a panic she begins ramming her head into it…

Julia

Just kill me… get it over with…

A side table comes flying through the air… crashes into the wall above Julia… debris rains down on her… she squeals in pain, falling back…

A squeak… a crack… the ruptured wall begins to give way. Julia falls right through into a secret narrow staircase, rolling endlessly, till she lands on her head.

Another dead end, a dark long staircase and Kimberly at the top, coming down one step at a time.

At each step a frame comes at Julia like a missile…

Julia, aims…

Male Voiced Kimberly

Really… would you kill this helpless little new pal of yours, Agent?

Another frame… Julia fires into the step below Kimberly… she steps right on it… a ceremonial knife this time…

Julia feels around the dead end… a wooden door… she feels for a knob… nothing… she turns in time to duck as a few more frames come flying through… a gash on her forehead…

Julia

Do you plan to kill me like the kids, Jason? Kimberly, you’re in there, fight…

Kimberly is half way down the steps. Julia punches and kicks the wooden door… no effect… she screams as…

A glass snow ball strikes her waist. She crumples down… to her knees… sees a faint hole… a tiny beam of light.

She draws her gun as more objects strike her.

BANG! BANG! BANG! She empties her magazine into the little opening… loads another…

Kimberly is four steps away… her deathly screams echoing endlessly… the drone from above like a hypnotizing voice…

Julia sees Kimberly’s bulging eyes a few feet away… her hands reaching out to her… she kicks the shot door…

It gives way and Julia falls right through… a small fall and a lower floor… the door swings back shut and SILENCE.

Julia lies in her collapsed position, broken, bloodied… she sees Kimberly’s feet in the little crack under the door…

And then no more… sounds of the feet fade, climbing away.

She rises slowly, taking in the room, turning round and round as if under a spell. Upside down crosses, frames of burnt crosses, hooded folks in pictures, skulls, witch craft objects and in all of them the same large man…

Julia collapses, head spinning… Kimberly’s distant scream…

She grabs a low table to rise… the cover slides away… she falls flat to the floor and inside the glass table comes face to face with…

A skull… a bullet hole right in the center of its forehead and a very crooked jaw.

Julia

Jason Hughs… OMG, OMG… you…

Julia leaps to her feet, scrubs the dust off a frame, smashes it, peels away the faded glass and falls to her knees… shock written all across her face…

She grabs her phone. 10:00:00 PM.

She reaches for the skull… instantly backing away in fear…

She looks around, tears a cushion cover away and delicately scoops up the skull… a tortured smile on her face.

[Kevin Lobo]

<div>Kevin Lobo’s Level 2 Horror Emotions:</div>

What I learned from this lesson. Writing with a clear goal of a particular set of emotions, lends itself magically to creating a flow that will become a definite journey for the viewer.

(Setting the scene: The evil spirit has already killed off Bradley and Sarah. The teens are aware it’s in Ruth from the sporadic eruptions of the spirit in her. They go back to the grave trying to undo the evil they have set off)

EXT. THE CEMETERY – DAY

THIS SCENE IS A PART OF ACT 2 – WRITTEN AS PART OF THE EMOTIONS FEAR – SUSPENSE – DREAD.

Kimberly, Glen and Jason peer nervously over the cemetery wall, tense faces. The cemetery is empty – silent and deceptively peaceful.

They climb over the wall, staying low, speak in whispers.

Jason

Sure you saw her in the window.

Kimberly

Hell yes… got a wave too!

Glen

Her grandpa has her well secured.

Kimberly

But it’s Ruth, she could sneak out of anywhere to party… now with that evil spirit in her, anything’s possible!

Their destination is the JH grave… this time they know it well. Yellow and orange tape on little posts marks it.

Jason

How do you know you won’t set of something worse?

Kimberly

I don’t… but we’ve got to try it just might save Ruth.

Glen

And us… we’re next on its list.

Kimberly

Not happening, dammit!

Glen

Wake up K, it said it clearly to us —

Jason

Through Sarah… I don’t wanna die that miserable death!

Kimberly

Sorry… I was such a dope… ok ready.

They reach the grave, still hunched low, grip hands, cold hands sending shivers down their backs. Kimberly pulls out the spell.

Kimberly (cont’d)

Ready?

RUTH

(Right behind them)

Ready.

They leap at the sound of her voice right behind them, muffled moans and screams. Jason and Glen run to each other, hugging each other fearfully.

Kimberly, left kneeling at the grave, shivers violently, a trembling cry breaks out of her voice as she looks up at Ruth standing right above her – a grin on her face.

Kimberly

Hey… you… didn’t see –-

Ruth

The party queen. Not fair, Just the four of us left, we got to stick together.

Ruth reaches out her hand… Kimberly takes it hesitantly, her body frozen in fear, wanting to but not daring to look in Ruth’s face.

Ruth (cont’d)

Group hug? Guys, what’s wrong, come on.

Jason and Glen come around pensively… peering closely at Ruth’s face… any signs of the evil spirit surfacing… listening for any change in her voice.

Ruth gathers them up in a big hug and let’s go. They relax a bit as she sits… they creep as far as they can. She begins to weep softly.

Ruth (cont’d)

I know you detest me… I know it’s in me.

Kimberly

What does it feel like?

Ruth

I got this stupid fucking countdown going on in my head…

Jason

To what?

RUTH

(Screams violently)

To my fucking death, you fucking moron.

She goes hysterical and begins to weep loudly… still her own voice.

Ruth (cont’d)

It’s fucking playing in my head… tomorrow night… keeps reminding me… then its you two pricks.

Jason

Then help us fight it.

Ruth

NO! Don’t even —

Glen

We can do it… save you… and us three.

A spasm rocks Ruth’s body. She sits, looks up, still ok.

Ruth

Kiss me boys, just like that night.

Kimberly

Don’t!

Kimberly begins to chant the spell, in reverse, scribbled in her hand. Her voice quivers. She tries to stare at Ruth.

Ruth

Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me…

Jason and Glen, flee behind Kimberly as the spasms in Ruth’s body become deadlier. She is lifted high and tossed over behind them.

They yell, try to run and trip over another grave… Ruth standing right over them. Her hair stands like giant spikes, her eyes now like live coals, bulging miles out and her voice finally cracks into a hideous male laughter.

Male Voiced Ruth (cont’d)

Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me…

Jason and Glen stand but are punched back down viciously.

Kimberly is yanked up by her hair and tossed.

They run, but each time the spirit tosses Ruth right over cutting off their exit until…

A gun shot rings out. It’s Julia, gun outstretched, finger on the trigger, Ruth in its sight.

Julia

Another step and you’re dead.

male voiced Ruth

Ha, ha, ha… shoot this teenaged bitch, Agent, I got three more to choose from.

Julia

Let her go… go back to your grave.

male voiced Ruth

Not until you bring it back.

Julia

Bring what back?

A screech of tires… the Sheriff comes running in.

The possessed Ruth turns around and flees into the forest.

Julia

Wow! Didn’t see that happening…

Sheriff

Heard a gunshot.

Julia shrugs tucking in her gun. She grabs the three shivering, bruised teens and heads to her car.

[Kevin Lobo]

Kevin Lobo Level 1 Horror Emotions:

What I learned from this lesson…when you focus on a scene from a particular emotion, it completely changes your perspective and inspires you to create a scene with that emotion as the viewer would see… rather than just the story itself.

3-INT. A SECRET PARTY ROOM, bush logging CO. – NIGHT

A wireless Bluetooth speaker blasts at max volume – it’s deep bass thuds viciously. A powerful strobe light stabs the darkness of the room with bright flashes.

Chips, half eaten wings and empty beer bottles line the counter. Six teens, all 18, dance around it in a frenzy.

BRADLEY BUSH, large build, good looks and the most drunk, gyrates to the center.

Bradley

Bow to your leader, my subjects, I will be the first to be 19 tonight.

everyone

Hail, Bradley!

Bradley hugs everyone around. He reaches SARAH GILLESPIE last; she blushes. She is dark haired with a slim build. They break into a deep smooch.

JASON AND GLEN WAUGH, twins, small build, look on adoringly at Bradley and pat him on the back.

KIMBERLY GATTING, blonde, petite in a short party dress. Her hands feel for something in a little dress pocket. Her face goes serious, a deep sigh and a long exhale. She checks her iWatch – 11.30 pm – fearful.

She slams the speaker – silence. RUGH MIZRACHI, multi colored hair, purple lipstick and dark painted eyes swirls angrily.

Ruth

Bitch, turn it back —

KIMBERLY

This fucking sleepy town sucks!

Bradley

Let’s fucking wake it!

KIMBERLY

Paddington Road. Let’s wake those —

Jason

What’s with you and that cemetery, girl?

glen

Virgin wants to fuck a ghost!

Wild laughter as Kimberly furiously pounds Glen.

Ruth

Let’s take this party on the road.

They turn to Bradley… fumbling with a bunch of keys.

He goes off… returns with an impressive bottle in hand.

Bradley

Hennessy XO – special for tonight, gang. My old mans been saving it up for me!

They head out grabbing more beers and handfuls of chips.

4-exT. bush logging CO. parking lot – continuous

The top-down Impala shoots out, tires screech – six teens crammed inside, whooping and screaming.

Bradley drives, Sarah snuggled into him – next to them in front is Kimberly, eyes glued to the road. In the rear, Ruth in deep kisses with Glen and Jason alternately.

Kimberly

Right, turn right —

Bradley

Shut the fuck up, K, I know.

He turns hard on the steering. The impressive old Impala rocks, screeches and turns on to a dark, deserted and silent road, away from the town.

A short distance ahead on a turn is an arched gate – the cemetery entrance. It stands as an ominous, dark silhouette against the moonlit night.

5-exT. the cemetery gate – continuous

The Impala screeches to a halt. Bradley pauses, jumps out and runs to the gate. Jason and Glen follow.

Bradley

I need a fucking leak!

Jason and Glen

We too.

Kimberly

Pussies! Go in – I dare you!

Bradley

You think I’m fucking scared of —

Jason

UUUU! Ahhhh! I’m scared.

Eerie sounds from the boys… pretending to be scared.

Ruth jumps out, grabs Sarah and marches into the cemetery.

Kimberly’s face lights up. She draws out a hand written envelope – addressed to her. From it she draws a torn page with a strange language. She whispers it as a shiver shudders her body. She crosses her feet.

Kimberly

Fuck! Now I wanna pee too.

She jumps out and goes right back in. Bradley marches over.

Bradley

Who’s the pussy now?

He yanks her out of the car and marches into the cemetery past the twins. A serious look on their faces now.

Jason

Guys… this is it. Let’s not disturb —

glen

Yeah! Hey Dopes! Come back, we’re…

A disturbed bird screeches and flutters away noisily, startling them. They duck – fear on their faces.

Jason and Glen, shiver, turn to head back to the car when…

Kimberly and Bradley come running back, grab them and head back to the cemetery as mocking, moaning sounds from Ruth come from within.

All four freeze for a second before marching right ahead.

Jason

Bad idea.

Kimberly

Let’s wake the spirits.

Bradley

Yup! Cognac and the real spirits.

6-exT. the cemetery – continuous

Bradley, with a worried Sarah, cradled in one arm, and the Cognac in the other, dances all over singing.

Bradley

Happy Birthday to me… Happy 19…

Ruth continues her moaning sounds, abruptly stops as a beetle static squeals… a shiver. She turns and sees…

Jason and Glen hands clasped, slowly inching backwards.

Kimberly turns the page over and squints at it in the moonlight. On the back are two letter – J H. She heads further in, seems to know where she is headed.

She reaches a grave, no cross, just the initials J H on it.

Kimberly

Peeps, check this poor sucker, they forgot to give him a cross.

Ruth

Fuck him! I wanna go – this party just pooped!

Bradley

Fuck you all! It’s my birthday – I say we ring it in on that cross less dude.

Kimberly’s kneels by the grave and dusts it. She reads the page quietly as her whole body goes into a rigor. She does it again and jumps up shrieking in fear as…

Bradley grabs her from the back.

Bradley

Gotcha!

Kimberly screams. Turns around and punches him.

Jason, Glen and Ruth coming running over, Sarah follows.

Kimberly checks her watch… continues muttering louder.

Bradley

Time yet for my 19, K?

Jason

Let’s do it in the car.

GLEN

Yeah! Fuck this place, it’s —

Ruth

Dead, no alive, no… let’s just go!

The others nod, half turn… except Kimberly… as a low rustle sweeps through the cemetery floor. The fallen leaves stir from a silent wind that picks up strength. It goes around them in a circle.

Sarah hugs Bradley, teeth chattering… whispers…

Sarah

Baby, let’s go, I don’t like this… besides I have something special planned for you!

Jason

Guys, listen… listen… JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN!

A low droning sound fills the air. Kimberly leaps.

Kimberly

OMG, OMG… it’s my spell… the wind’s picked it… repeat after me, repeat —

glen

Shut up! Let’s go before it’s too…

kimberly

Just repeat after me… <CHANT TO BE ADDED>.

RUTH

I’m going…

Ruth begins to weeps bitterly… her tears streak her mascara down her face… looks ghostly now… Kimberly sees it… smiles.

Kimberly

Perfect! Form a circle… <CHANTING>.

Sarah

Shut her up… Shut that bitch…

Sarah tries to draw Bradley away but he breaks the circle and cracks open the Cognac.

Kimberly

No, don’t break the circle… <CONTINUES CHANTING>. Chant, chant it… groupies!

The group are slowly drawn in as Bradley passes the Cognac around. They sip it, reeling a bit as the Cognac hits them.

Silence. Everything dies down. They fall to their knees in relief, smiling. Sarah, crying, starts singing…

Sarah

Happy 19^th to my Bradley…

They join in… the droning starts again…

Kimberly picks it up, sings the chant from the paper as their birthday song turns into a loud chant now.

The group dance in a circle around the grave chanting louder, and louder, competing with the…

The drone that gets louder than their voices. The circular wind gains strength – they cling on to each other for support, dust and leaves in their faces.

A BOOMING sound begins to echo. They chant, add a BOOM to their chant and it echoes back. They chant louder and the BOOM echoes back louder, until…

The ground erupts with a shudder… Jason screams…

Jason

Run, the fucking grave cracked.

Instead, Bradley goes right over the ruptured grave, takes a swig and pours some Cognac in.

Bradley

Welcome to my party, dope!

The grave fully erupts open now. Bradley is tossed away.

Fear fills Kimberly’s face, she chucks the envelope in – a desperate bid to undo something she knew could happen.

Jason grabs the hysterical Sarah and Ruth and runs.

Glen yanks Kimberly off the ground, reaches out to Bradley but is struck by a fierce kick from him.

Glen rises with Kimberly… begins to move back as he sees…

A demonic look on Bradley’s face who is rising slowly – being lifted by an unseen force. The storm intensifies.

A deadly scream from Kimberly echoes out across the cemetery and into the village as the Church clock strikes it usual midnight single gong – DONG in the distance.

Bradley’s arms are stretched out like a crucifixion. The bottle falls from his and shatters making the rest fall to the ground. His head is slapped from side to side, his eyes bursting out… bulging.

The group huddle, gripping each other. Sarah screams.

Sarah

Brad, Baby, stop, come down.

Bradley’s voice echoes out slowly changing from his usual voice to a deep throated voice.

Normal Voice Bradley

Happy Birthday to me!

Deeper Voice Bradley

Happy Birthday to me!

Very Bass Voice Bradley

Welcome to my party, dopes!

Jason and Glen try to go to Bradley again but are yanked back by the girls.

Bradley begins to float towards them… they run, instead…

The floating Bradley, in his crucified position is spun at right angles viciously. His face is slapped with loud spats from side to side. An invisible punch to his stomach, he doubles over in the air and throws up…

Sarah

Kimberly… do something… stop it!

Kimberly

I don’t know… it wasn’t supposed to…

Ruth

Please, please… whoever, let him go.

The invisible force slams Bradley into a tree, upside down…

Jason

To the car, run… run…

Very Bass Voice Bradley

Happy Birthday, y’all… soon!

The horrified group stare at each other numb and turn to flee when a loud groan from Bradley erupts… and then silence.

They run furious… unaware that a silent rustle in the path behind them, parting the leaves, follows.

Jason takes the wheel, as Sarah turns around for a last look when the silent force slams her in as Glen pulls the door shut. The Impala speeds away, tires screeching.

[Kevin Lobo]

^{Kevin Lobo’s readable outline.}

^{What I learned from this exercise is how much control you get over your entire plot, structure and story. You are able to see it all end to end, identify gaps and fix things, see the flow long before a single line of dialogue is written (which would all also have to be rewritten should there be a change).}

ACT 1

INT – A SECRET PARTY ROOM, RURAL DAVISVILLE – NIGHT

Six teens, Bradley, Sarah, Ruth, Jason, Glen and Kimberly are finishing a wild pre-Birthday party and decide to go reveling around town to ring in Bradley’s 19th birthday at midnight.

EXT – A ROAD BY THE CEMETERY – NIGHT

Kimberly silently pushes them to take the road that goes past the cemetery. They reach there and pull over for the guys to take a leak. Kimberly dares them to go in and take a leak.

EXT – THE CEMETERY – NIGHT

In a game of dare, that turns into a sort of ritual with bizarre occurrences churning up around them, they end up resurrecting the evil spirit of the town’s former serial killer with an anonymous spell that Kimberly has received.

The first to be killed that night is Bradley, celebrating his birthday that night and the first to turn 19. Jason and Glen try to drag the possessed Bradley away but are assaulted by the spirit.

The teens flee in fear and decide to keep it secret. We see an invisible rustle and a force gush in to the escape-vehicle indicating the spirit has gone after one of the teens, Sarah, who is the next to turn 19.

INT – AN FBI MEETING ROOM, NEW YORK – DAY

Julia Edward, an FBI agent leads an all-male highly successful FBI team that has just returned from another successful raid busting a drug gang.

INT – THE FBI BOSS’S OFFICE – DAY

Julia is called into the Boss’s office and asked to head to Davisville. In the fierce resistance that follows, we learn of Julia’s revulsion of everything rural.

When she is asked to work with the old priest and a retired, reclusive detective, she asks rather to be sent directly to a mental asylum where she thinks she will land up eventually due to this assignment. She has no choice.

EXT – THE CEMETERY – DAY

The next morning as town hunts for the missing teen, the Sheriff and a search party find Bradley’s headless, upside down crucified body, they also discover a ruptured grave with no cross, just marked JH.

Knowing glances, and whispers of ‘he’s back’ among the elders leads to the mystery that they know something but remain secretive about.

A secret silent fear spreads through the village elders protecting themselves with religious objects without divulging the details to the horrified village but warning the village parents to lock in their teens.

The Sheriff dismisses it as the work of serial killer who he will find.

INT – THE SECRET HIDEOUT ROOM – DAY

The remaining five teens secretly and fearfully find their way back to the party room to reconnect. We learn of Sarah’s deep loss being Bradley’s girl friend; Ruth’s resolve to keep living wild as a tribute to Bradley, and Kimberly’s refusal to accept that the spell was anything more than a silly game.

Only Jason and Glen fear that the spirit was real and will seek revenge for disturbing it.

INT – THE VILLAGE PUB – NIGHT

As the details of Bradley’s heinous murder emerge, Tom Monaghan, a secretive, old, rich man, generally ignored by the regulars, makes a quick escape from the pub as tempers rise.

EXT – THE VILLAGE STREET – DAY

Julia arrives to a very hostile reception in Davisville. The town elders openly mock her as powerless against an evil spirit which she dismisses instantly, promising to catch the killer.

Eli Mizrachi, Ruth’s grandfather and the town registrar, warns Sarah’s parents to lock her up as she is the next to turn 19. They are baffled, as is Julia.

EXT – GIOVANNI PEGULIA’S HOUSE – DAY

Giovanni Pegulia, the retired FBI detective refuses to engage with her. His depression, and mention of her father whom he knew, takes her back to her own father’s suicide as a failed FBI agent. It is something she dreaded all her life but has to face now.

Giovanni advises her to arrest Tom to stop the carnage to follow. He asks her to kick the evil parish priest out of the village further putting doubts in Julia’s mind on top of her own childhood fears of an abusive priest.

EXT – THE VILLAGE CHURCH – DAY

Julia’s meeting with Fr. Augustus McConaughey is surprising pleasant against some secret fears she carries. He is amiable, helpful but just as secretive. He dismisses the notion of an evil spirit but she sees an open email on his computer with an urgent petition seeking permission to conduct an exorcism.

EXT– SARAH’S HOUSE – DAY

Julia is further baffled when Sarah’s parents will not allow her to talk to Sarah. Julia hears screams from Sarah’s room but her terrified parents explain it away as a symptom of Sarah missing Bradley whom she was in love with. The spirit has begun manifesting itself and tormenting Sarah.

The news of a spirit begins to spread through the village.

EXT – THE VILLAGE STREET – DAY

On the eve of Sarah’s birthday. Julia tries to follow the secretive teens around town as they load up for the party.

The Sheriff promises to help when Julia refers to the investigation by Giovanni and refers to the ancient warehouse unvisited for decades about having to hunt down that file in some dusty old storage.

EXT – THE ABANDONED MINE – NIGHT

The teens defiantly decide to ring in Sarah’s birthday at a deserted mine that belonged to the rich Bradley, another of their hangouts.

Julia, who is staking out Sarah’s house, discovers from the upheaval at Sarah’s that she has given them the slip.

She hunts around and follows the distant music sounds, that turn to deadly screams and eventually finds the abandoned mine.

INT – THE ABANDONED MINE OFFICE – NIGHT

Sarah, Ruth, Kimberly, Jason and Glen begin slowly but turn into full party mode as they miss their leader, Bradley.

Unknown to them, Sarah has been slowly manifesting her possessed self. Just before midnight, the possessed Sarah locks them up in the room and begins a deadly evil torment of the teens. The spirit now in full possession of Sarah, threatens that they are all next in line.

Julia, shoots her way through the locked doors and rescues the teens but not before the spirit directly torments her and makes some demands. Julia and the rest of the teens are violently attacked by the possessed Sarah whom the spirit crucifies upside down.

We see the silent rush of wind, something invisible going to Ruth. JH’s spirit has chosen its next victim.

Julia sees Tom in the shadows, and is delighted to find the Sheriff arrive to help.

INT – THE SHERIFF’S OFFICE – DAY

The villagers who initially frowned on the disruptive teen gang of 6 that were turning 19, now begin to empathize and fully try to protect the teens.

The parents are angry and fearful, and demand results. Julia goes along with the Sheriff’s story of a serial killer at work, confused at what she can do.

The entire village rally around Ruth’s family knowing her 19^th birthday is coming up. The four remaining teens are warned not to meet up anymore.

Julia gets the usual procrastination from the Sheriff for the file, the usual flak from Giovanni for not arresting Tom, and Fr. Augustus’s belief that Tom has nothing to do with these events.

EXT – THE RECTORY – NIGHT

Julia, begins to work on her own. She maintains a lookout on Tom, and sees him come to meet Fr. Augustus secretly at night. She begins to believe in Giovanni’s theory.

EXT – THE HIDING SPOTS – NIGHT

Ruth begins to display the presence of the spirit in her. She is able to successfully pull out the remaining three teens for her usual wild meets but the remaining three having seen the pattern and having heard the evil spirit begin to fear her. Ruth however is able to break through the lockdowns and get them out.

EXT – THE CRIME SCENE – DAY

Julia investigates the crime scene and discovers that despite the gory beheading, upside down crucifixion, there is no blood and no other clue. She is now convinced that it is a spirit at work.

INT – RUTH’S HOME – DAY

Ruth’s family come up with a plan, hatched by her fearful grandfather. They trick Ruth into believing that they have won a vacation to Vegas and the family can celebrate her birthday there in big style.

INT – JULIA’S ROOM – NIGHT

Jason and Glen begin to reach out to Julia to help but are kept away by the their parents in a bid to protect them. Secretly, Julia, Jason and Glen begin to fight the spirit in Ruth but are powerless.

INT – THE RECTORY – DAY

Julia tries to warn Fr. Augustus about her findings but he dismisses them all the while trying to take on the battle himself. Julia is convinced that Fr. Augustus is practicing for an exorcism.

ACT 2

EXT – THE FOREST ROAD – DAY

JH’s spirit takes full possession of Ruth as her Father, Mother and younger brother escape with her.

The spirit distorts their instruments, confuses them and gets them lost in the wilderness where when stuck, the spirit brutally kills the three through Ruth.

EXT – THE VILLAGE MAIN ROAD – DAY

The village is shell shocked as a dazed and shocked Ruth innocently drives her dead family back. The villagers know that their safety has been taken away, they are trapped, isolated and locked in the village until the spirit gets what it wants.

The spirit begins to torment Julia through Ruth in secret asking her to bring it back and that it will exact its full revenge. Julia does not know what or where but decides to go looking for Tom’s file.

Julia talks to Ruth and finds flaws in her story of the killing of her family. She is unable to bring Ruth to Fr. Augustus, in the faint hope of an exorcism and an end to the killings.

INT – TOM’S HOUSE – DAY

After the killing of Ruth’s entire family, the villagers growing anger and Giovanni’s nagging, Julia decides to arrest Tom.

In the raid on Tom’s house, Julia finds nothing suspicious but does chance on a bunch of hand written envelopes that Tom has received and a picture of a younger Tom, a youth and a mysterious large third figure. The frame is back titled with the names Tom, JH and a blank for the third name. It is Julia’s first direct clue to JH.

INT – THE VILLAGE CHURCH – NIGHT

The villagers gather together in a show of strength to protect Ruth as she heads into her birthday at midnight. They suspect the pattern the evil spirit has followed and are determined to protect Ruth that night.

EXT – OUTSIDE THE VILLAGE CHURCH – NIGHT

Ruth escapes her grandfather as he drives her to the Church. The spirit in her fears the Church. Jason and Glen, the next to turn 19, are fiercely guarded by their parents angering Ruth who can’t get them to join her in to ring in her birthday. They anger the spirit as well as they stay protected in the Church.

Ruth however tricks Kimberly into joining her, assaults her in her possessed state and her fearful screams end up drawing out the villagers and the twins to protect her.

Ruth is viciously possessed, assaulted and killed by the spirit. It openly declares who it is, seeks revenge and wants something returned back to its grave. The horror of what they face comes full face to the villagers.

They turn their anger on Julia who is taken into the priest’s protection helped by Giovanni who is defeated himself knowing that Tom’s arrest did not stop Ruth’s killing. Julia realizes she is at her lowest point having made no progress to stop the killing and the action she took failed.

INT – THE VILLAGE CHURCH – NIGHT

Julia, Giovanni and Fr. Augustus finally come to terms and decide to work together. Julia fully discloses her fears, Fr. Augustus breaks his religious confessional vows and discloses why he protects Tom.

They decide that the only way forward is for Julia to find the police file herself and exhume the JH grave to find the hidden answers.

EXT – THE VILLAGE STREET – NIGHT

Julia finds the Sheriff at night, following her, protecting her. She gets him to share the location of the police file warehouse.

INT – JASON AND GLEN’S HOME – NIGHT

With Jason and Glen both having been exposed to Ruth’s killing and their birthdays coming up next, they are in full terror along with their family and the villagers.

It is now a full fight between the spirit and the village. The villagers live in abject terror, knowing that they have no weapons or defenses of any sort against a belligerent evil spirit hell bent on its next killing.

The village takes a decision to keep the inseparable teens apart but it becomes an impossible task as the spirit drives the possessed teen to the other brother. It becomes a vicious battle with full possessed behavior by the teens.

EXT – THE POLICE WAREHOUSE – DAY

Julia goes alone to search for the missing file. An exhaustive search with a nagging suspicion that she is being shadowed finally leads to her finding the file, but escaping just in time as a deadly fire ravages the warehouse.

Julia decides to keep the file a secret and declares it has been probably lost in the fire.

EXT – THE CEMETERY – DAY

Julia faces a huge backlash as she proceeds to exhume JH’s grave secretly. She is surprised at the fear expressed by the Sheriff himself in further disturbing the spirit of JH, and has to bring in external help for the strenuous task, least of which is living her own demons of having run away from the burial of her own father after his suicide.

Julia discovers the headless body of JH, a big buckled belt from the picture that helps her identify him and strangely a few strands of blonde hair. The picture in Tom’s house showed Tom and JH as dark haired. The graveyard caretaker who did the burial swears that JH had his head on when buried.

Julia also finds the discarded envelope addressed to Kimberly and finds the same handwriting as the envelopes in Tom’s house.

The blonde hair, the fact that Tom is physically disabled, the similar hand writing on the same envelopes and the mysterious figure in the picture all lead Julia to believe another figure is at work.

Julia figures out that the spirit is after its head, and that she also has to find the missing heads of the three teens killed by JH’s evil spirit.

ACT 3

INT – JASON AND GLEN’S HOME – DAY

The evil spirit shifts from Jason to Glen alternately trying to bring them together and there are many fights as each possessed teen tries to get to his brother.

EXT – THE VILLAGE STREET – DAY

With the angry spirit unleashing mayhem through the possessed teens, Jason and Glen alternately, and others becoming collateral victims, hysteria sweeps the town. The paranoid villagers turn on each other as factions form in the best way to protect the teens.

Paranoia grips the village knowing what the JH’s evil spirit wants and that it may continue its killings until it gets what it wants. They resolve to fight to the death and support Julia however possible.

The villagers reluctantly begin to rally around Julia after her discoveries and progress in the case. Julia also goes secretive as she realizes from the warehouse fire, the villagers attack at exhumation and the feeling of being constantly shadowed that someone who knows her plans is thwarting her.

Julia discovers more details from the secret police file she has. She finds that Giovanni’s raid on Tom’s house revealed the findings of secret black masses and upside down crosses, Fr. Augustine’s word that saved Tom, the identity of JH as Jason Hugh as the teen who carried out the killings for Tom, and that he faced vigilante justice – a single shot to his head on his 19^th birthday when he walked free due to circumstantial evidence. She begins to understand Giovanni.

Giovanni exhorts Julia to raid Tom’s house but she is denied permission as Tom is already jailed and his arrest did not stop the killings.

INT – THE VILLAGE JAIL – DAY

The beginning of strange occurrences at the jail where Tom is housed, his constant loud reading of his bible, and a similar droning chant that accompanies the spirit’s killings. Tom strangely appears fearful and decides to accept responsibility for the killings. It confuses Julia, leading her to believe that Tom may not be guilty after all or just an accessory.

INT – JASON AND GLEN’S HOUSE – DAY

Jason and Glen get together and are joined by Kimberly in defiance on the eve of their birthday as a tribute to the 3 friends they have lost. Secretly, the ever-brave Jason and Glen are wanting to defeat the spirit and end the killings with their own deaths. They leave notes for each other in their normal state.

The normally brave Jason and Glen lose control of themselves. Their screaming and helplessness, gets to Kimberly who knows she is next.

She still refuses to accept responsibility and help Julia but helps Jason flee from the possessed Glen. They revel in the thrilling escape that they beat the spirit and may yet be able to turn things around.

EXT – THE CEMETERY – NIGHT

Jason and Kimberly, buoyed by their small victory decide to go back to the cemetery at midnight to put things back in order.

Kimberly tries to reverse the spell but her lack of knowledge of what it is ends up attracting Glen and the possessed spirit back there.

The spirit kills both Jason and Glen, crucified upside down in the cemetery just as it wanted. Julia manages to spirit Kimberly away but in a vicious attack that follows, the spirit finds her, the last teen. Kimberly has survived but know that it is just 24 hours to her birthday and death lies around the corner.

Julia finally sees the spell torn from a book that may be something she may have seen at Tom’s house and the refusal of the Sheriff to let her raid Tom’s house, and with the final deadline looming she decides to secretly raid Tom’s house that night to save Kimberly, and stop the killings in a bid to find answers. She believes therein lies the resolution.

EXT – TOM’S HOUSE YARD – NIGHT

Fr. Augustus and Giovanni, each on their own suspect Julia’s plan and secretly follow her individually to help her.

Julia asks Kimberly, through whom the spirit has been stalking her to drive her car away as a false lead and takes on her deadliest fear and challenge.

In a final deadly night, venturing alone, secretly into Tom’s yard, Julia has to battle deadly killer dogs, spirits and traps of all sorts.

INT – TOM’S HOUSE – NIGHT

Julia battles her away into the house but is brutally assaulted by the possessed Kimberly. As she falls deeper and deeper into the house, the basement and crypts below, viciously attacked by the possessed Kimberly, Julia ends up finding a secret black Mass chamber from where Tom has continued his evil activities. She finds Jason Hughs head, identified from the bullet hole on the forehead and his signature crooked jaw – details she finds in the file.

Julia wonders if JH’s spirit through Kimberly helped her find his head hidden deep in the cellars in Tom’s house. As Kimberly goes away, the spirit sings a rhyme, “Time will silver your golden hair…” leading to the growing doubt in her mind who might be the mysterious third.

Julia takes the skull and dashes to the graveyard in a bid to save Kimberly from being killed at the fast-approaching midnight deadline.

EXT – THE CEMETERY – NIGHT

Julia’s arrival at the graveyard is instantly seemingly thwarted by Tom who has broken from the jail. Tom tries to declare his innocence and help her but they are accosted by the droned chants.

As Julia tries to restore the head, the Sheriff arrives and is revealed as the mysterious third figure, and it all clicks in Julia’s head.

Julia becomes aware that all of her moves have been foreseen and the only one privy to those is the silver haired village sheriff who may have been blonde as the spirit sang. Tom himself displays an inexplainable dread of the Sheriff during his interrogation taking on all the blame himself. In that moment of realization, she clicks on to the fact that the Sheriff is the third, who may also have shot Jason Hughs on his release to protect his identity and removed the head from the grave for further evil acts.

In a vicious battle that follows, the possessed Kimberly arrives and the spirit storms from her into Tom, to exact revenge on the Sheriff. Julia is assaulted by both sides. Fr. Augustus arrives and tries to exorcise JH’s spirit to save Tom. The ill-equipped Fr. Augustus is fatally attacked by the possessed Tom. The Sheriff tries to kill them all by awakening other spirits.

Giovanni arrives and shoots the sheriff to prevent further slaughter and also shoots Tom to try and save Fr. Augustus but it is too late. Giovanni finds his redemption in both the killings as it was the Sheriff who sabotaged Giovanni’s investigation in the first place and took over from him.

In helping Fr. Augustus sign himself, repeat an Act of Contrition and die in peace, Julia finds her own redemption in not having helped her own father in his dying moments.

Kimberly escapes the killings and is the only teen that survives.

Or an alternate ending

The Sheriff escapes as Giovanni battles the possessed Tom to save Fr. Augustus thus setting up the seed for a sequel.

[Kevin Lobo]

Kevin Lobo’s Character Journey Track

What I learned doing this assignment is that a meticulous pre planning of each character against a character profile and journey helps give each character a well defined voice, something that may not develop fully if the characters are created organically as the plot/story progresses.

1. With each of your Survivors and Victims, answer the following questions:

Julia Edwards. FBI agent sent to Davisville to investigate the case.

A. What is their Character Profile?

1. Role: Lead and only investigator in the case.

2. Traits: Will not accept defeat

3. Fears: Psychological – hates the small town setting – afraid will fall back into depression; detests the two men she is supposed to work with as each represents a pain point from her past she tries to forget.

4. Wants/Needs: Justice when a crime is committed. Needs closure from a painful past.

5. Likability / Rooting factors: A team player and an amiable person who reaches out to all but through the course of the movie is rejected and hurt by everyone.

6. How they react under stress: There is no giving up, no defeat in her dictionary and will always rise/fight back from the worst defeat.

7. Relationship with other characters: Has to work hard to build each relationship with the folks in Davisville to be able to solve the killings and stop them.

B. What is their Character Journey for this story?

Character Intro: Julia is
introduced on a high winning note as she returns from another successful
raid by her all male FBI team busting a drug gang. <div>

Denial: Outright
rejection of the new mission she is being sent on, alone. She has to
remind her boss to look in her file or relook as he knows it well, of the
psychological and mental health issues she faces and this lone mission
represents it all.

Their reaction at first horror: Dismisses
the villagers theory of an evil spirit at work even though she reads all
the details in Bradley’s file. She believes and sets out to catch an evil
human being.

Relation to group after first
horror:
Begins to empathize with the evil spirit theories when she sees Sarah’s
crucified body and no blood on the scene of the crime.

How they fight back: Julia is
determined to fight back the analytical way, using her detective skills
and a detailed dive into all persons and events that can throw a clue.

End Point: Comes out a
winner when she successfully restores the ghosts head to his grave, solves
the killings, finds peace in the rural setting, finds reconciliation
through Fr. Augustine with the horrible memories she carries of a priest;
and finds closure in Giovanni’s victory thus setting herself at peace with
her own father’s suicide.

What insight do their deaths or
survival bring to the others/audience? Julia’s survival and victory is an inspiration of never
giving up and in her journey, the audience finds their own victory against
a seemingly undefeatable evil spirit.

Fr. Augustus McConaughey. The old parish priest of Davisville

A. What is their Character Profile?

1. Role: The village pastor who as a young priest saw the evil killings first hand.

2. Traits: Fatherly, protective and highly secretive.

3. Fears: Fears that he may not be able to protect his flock from the evil spirit or from wrongful condemnation of Tom when under suspicion.

4. Wants/Needs: Wants to help Julia find peace with a priest. Wants to protect Tom at all costs. Wants to protect his laity by trying to take on an evil spirit when he is ill-equipped to do an exorcism.

5. Likability / Rooting factors: Very fatherly and perceptive. Immediately senses Julia’s hesitation in his presence and wants to help her. Very protective of Tom and breaks the ultimate law by divulging his confessional knowledge to protect him.

6. How they react under stress: Closes up, casts others aside in a bid to protect them and goes solo in fighting back.

7. Relationship with other characters: Loved and respected by his flock.

B. What is their Character Journey for this story?

Character Intro: Shares a
joint introduction with Giovanni Pegulia, the reclusive, retired former village
sheriff. These are the two men who Julia has to work with primarily but we
see them at odds right at the start and know what Julia will be up
against. </div><div>

Denial: Outright
denial that Tom is the guilty one.

Their reaction at first horror: Makes it a
personal mission to secretly fight the evil spirit at the earliest and
prevent further killings.

Relation to group after first
horror:
Protective and active in trying to run his own investigation and stop the
killings in a religious way.

How they fight back: Secretly
tries exorcism even though he knows he needs permission or is not trained
to do it.

End Point: Dies at the
Tom’s hand – the man he protected all his life. Even in his dying moments
he helps Julia in her own personal struggle.

What insight do their deaths or
survival bring to the others/audience? Helps others reinforce the
very substantive and deep role of a priest as a shepherd and protector.

Giovanni Pegulia. The reclusive, retired former village Sheriff of Davisville

A. What is their Character Profile?

1. Role: Meant to help Julia solve the case but is dead set in his own beliefs of what the case is.

2. Traits: Bitter, unforgiving, self-centered and hateful due to his failed past.

3. Fears: What if he wrong after all these years and that he has wasted his entire life living with a grudge.

4. Wants/Needs: Wants to be proven right that his theory on the killings then, and now, that Tom is the killer.

5. Likability / Rooting factors: Despite everything still wants to protect the folks around him, especially the teens.

6. How they react under stress: Knee jerk reaction – whether instantly accusing Tom again or grabbing Julia’s gun and shooting Tom at the end to protect the priest.

7. Relationship with other characters: Tense and argumentative.

B. What is their Character Journey for this story?

Character Intro: Shares a
joint introduction with Fr. Augustus, the old village parish priest. These
are the two men who Julia has to work with primarily but we see them at
odds right at the start and know what Julia will be up against. </div><div>

Denial: That this is
a horror killing. That anyone or a spirit other than Tom is behind the
killings.

Their reaction at first horror: I told you
so – thus instantly accuses and confronts Fr. Augustus and accuses him of
being responsible in unleashing the same terror on the village again.

Relation to group after first
horror:
I told you so attitude, expects others to suck up to him – disgruntled
when Julia sets out on her own course of investigation rather than pick up
from where he left off.

How they fight back: Jump to
action, whether it is in warning the village or shoot Tom.

End Point: Finds
closure in Tom’s death, in a way feeling justified that Tom did have
something to do with the deaths in the first phase.

What insight do their deaths or
survival bring to the others/audience? Will inspire a feeling of
pity and a bit of respect in his devotion to his cause for justice.

Tom Monaghan. A wealthy, elder of Davisville

A. What is their Character Profile?

1. Role: The original suspect behind the Black Mass led killings and under suspicion again.

2. Traits: Shadowy figure who acts every bit suspect.

3. Fears: Fears the wrath of the village. Also fears the Sheriff. The townfolk suspect it is because of his suspicious past however the fear is due to the Sheriff being the secret head of the evil gang.

4. Wants/Needs: Wants to be rid of the suspicion and the association with the evil and reaches out to Fr. Augustus for help.

5. Likability / Rooting factors: There is no likability to Tom. His inherited wealth keeps him safe.

6. How they react under stress: Flees from the pub/crowd when the details of the killings emerge. Reaches out to Fr. Augustus in secret for help.

7. Relationship with other characters: Generally ostracized by the village, he has very little contact with the village folk.

B. What is their Character Journey for this story?

Character Intro: We see him
as a sort of outcast away from the main crowd in the pub when the details
of Bradley’s killing emerge. He flees suspiciously and hurriedly fearing
the crowd.
Denial: He refuses
to believe that this is Jason Hughs at work again. </div><div>

Their reaction at first horror: Even though
he denies the possibility of the killing being related, he still rushes to
Fr. Augustus secretly.

Relation to group after first
horror:
Tom goes into total seclusion in fear until Julia arrests him.

How they fight back: He becomes a
victim of JH’s final possession and tries to kill Fr. Augustus who tries
to exorcise him.

End Point: Giovanni
shoots the possessed Tom to save Fr. Augustus from being killed by him.
What insight do their deaths or
survival bring to the others/audience? A character in whose death
the audience will find solace and some retribution for the deaths of the
village teens.

Bradley Bush. A rich 19-year-old of Davisville and the first teen to be killed by JH’s evil spirit.

A. What is their Character Profile?

1. Role: The first 19-year-old to be killed in the opening scene.

2. Traits: Loud, boisterous, leader of the teen group (as a result of his good looks and his wealth).

3. Fears: Very little fear in the little we see of him. Even when the spell works and the graveyard becomes the scene of something deadly and evil erupting, he still fools around desecrating JH’s grave.

4. Wants/Needs: Adulation and following from the teens.

5. Likability / Rooting factors: A fun loving teen and we lose him early in the movie.

6. How they react under stress: Defiant and carefree to a point that he does not see the real danger.

7. Relationship with other characters: A sort of leader and a close friend to the other 5 teens in his group.

B. What is their Character Journey for this story?

Character Intro: The movie
begins with Bradley’s secret but loud birthday party in one of his rich
hideouts. He provides the booze, the car and all other goodies for the
teens. </div><div>

Denial: Disregards
the groups warning that something evil is happening and to flee.

Their reaction at first horror: Has very
little time to react to the horror as JH’s evil spirit possesses and kills
him immediately in the opening scene.

Relation to group after first
horror:
The teens miss him dearly, especially Sarah who had a secret crush on him.

How they fight back: Bradley does
not get a chance to fight back.

End Point: Bradly dies
in the opening sequence.

What insight do their deaths or
survival bring to the others/audience? Bradley’s death introduces
the teen gang and the audience to JH’s evil spirit at work.

Sarah Gillespie. The second teen to be killed by JH’s evil spirit

A. What is their Character Profile?

1. Role: The second 19-year-old to be killed by JH’s evil spirit.

2. Traits: Quiet, bashful, die hard supporter of Bradley and has a big crush on him.

3. Fears: She fears the deadly spirit have seen what it did to Bradley and how he was killed.

4. Wants/Needs: Wants to be loved by Bradley and thus follows him blindly.

5. Likability / Rooting factors: She is true to her crush and despite her fears insists that the gang meet up on her birthday at the same hideout where they celebrated Bradley’s birthday.

6. How they react under stress: Fearful, cries easily and is terrified to the point of being frozen with fear.

7. Relationship with other characters: Loves her gang of teens and wants to celebrate her 19^th birthday with them despite the suspicious lurking danger.

B. What is their Character Journey for this story?

Character Intro: We meet the
gang of 6 teens that includes Sarah, in the opening scene as they celebrate
Bradley’s birthday. </div><div>

Denial: Suspects and
senses that JH’s evil spirit is in her but is not willing to accept it.

Their reaction at first horror: Frozen and
numb with fear.

Relation to group after first
horror:
Gets even more attached to her group after Bradley’s death.

How they fight back: Defiantly
goes out and celebrates her birthday in the place that she associates with
Bradley.

End Point: Sarah is
killed by JH’s spirit in their secret hideout.

What insight do their deaths or
survival bring to the others/audience? Sarah’s death instantly
surfaces and reinforces the theory in those that know about JH that it is
his spirit is the one killing the teens. For those that don’t know the 19^th
birthday becomes a big red flag.

Ruth Mizrachi. The third teen to be killed by JH’s evil spirit.

A. What is their Character Profile?

1. Role: Ruth is fully aware of JH’s spirit in her. The spirit uses her to taunt Julia and to kill her entire family when they try to escape.

2. Traits: Defiant, wild, carefree and always out to have fun.

3. Fears: Fears her impending death and tries to have as much fun as she can before her birthday.

4. Wants/Needs: Wants to live her life happy, loud and partying.

5. Likability / Rooting factors: Ruth is the life of the gang with her wild ways.

6. How they react under stress: In her typical defiant spirit, Ruth secretly draws the remaining 3 under curfew to come out and party with her.

7. Relationship with other characters: The gang is her life as she loves to party and have fun and in that little village, they are all that can provide her that outlet.

B. What is their Character Journey for this story?

Character Intro: We meet the
gang of 6 teens that includes Ruth, in the opening scene as they celebrate
Bradley’s birthday. </div><div>

Denial: She begins
to realize that she has killed her family in her possessed state and refuses
to accept that huge guilt even though it is killing her.

Their reaction at first horror: Screams,
shouts, expletives and very vociferous shock expression.

Relation to group after first
horror:
Gets even more attached to her group after Bradley and Sarah’s death.

How they fight back: Defiantly draws
out the other teens and celebrates in her usual party way.

End Point: Ruth is publicly
killed by JH’s spirit in full sight of the villagers.

What insight do their deaths or
survival bring to the others/audience? Ruth’s death fully exposes the
killings as the work of an evil spirit. It reinforces the theory in everyone
that the spirit is after the 19-year-olds. It gets Julia to go after Ruth’s
grandfather and draw out the information from his registrar days that JH
was killed on his 19^th birthday.

Jason and Glen Waugh. The twin brothers killed by JH’s evil spirit together on their birthday.

A. What is their Character Profile?

1. Role: The twins start silently, in the background as diehard fans of Bradley.

2. Traits: Fearful, yet brave. Their bravery comes out on full display as they decide to take the fight to the spirit on their birthday in a bid to end its terror reign.

3. Fears: Fear their separation from each other, fear for Kimberly being left alone to die last.

4. Wants/Needs: Wanted to be like Bradley. Want to go out as defiant winners and not helpless victims of the evil spirit.

5. Likability / Rooting factors: Devoted to each other and to their friends.

6. How they react under stress: They respond with bravery. In the initial scene they try to help Bradley. When they realize the futility, the twins get the rest of the gang in the car and help them flee the graveyard.

7. Relationship with other characters: Generally loved and liked by all the others.

B. What is their Character Journey for this story?

Character Intro: We meet the
gang of 6 teens that includes the twins, in the opening scene as they
celebrate Bradley’s birthday. </div><div>

Denial: They refuse
to accept Bradley’s death and help Sarah plan her birthday party in
Bradley’s absence.

Their reaction at first horror: Rational and
quick thinking. They try to help Bradley, and then help the rest escape.

Relation to group after first
horror:
With Bradley gone, they take on a protective role over the girls and help
console them in their grief.

How they fight back: The twins
secretly come up with a deadly plan to fight back. The believe that if
they can get back to the cemetery and die within the grave, they may succeed
in locking back the spirit. They bring along their own religious objects
and in a naïve way take on the spirit bravely.

End Point: Jason and
Glen are killed ruthlessly by the angry evil spirit.

What insight do their deaths or
survival bring to the others/audience? The entire village and Julia go
all out to protect the teens and to prevent their deaths. With Jason and
Glen’s death the village descends into a deep defeat and depression. It
gives Julia the resolve and strength to break her own rules, and rally
against the biggest evil hurdle by going into Tom’s evil house alone in
what she knows will be a night of pure, evil terror from which she may not
emerge.

Kimberly Gatting. The only teen who survives.

A. What is their Character Profile?

1. Role: The one who cleverly gets the gang to play a game of dare to enter the graveyard, to try out her spell and cause the carnage. She is the last to be possessed but survives as JH’s spirit driven by rage storms into Tom.

2. Traits: Quiet, manipulative and fully aware of the evil she has rendered on the village.

3. Fears: Fears for her friends and reaches out to Julia giving her the first real break in her investigation.

4. Wants/Needs: Wants to undo the harm she has brought on her friends.

5. Likability / Rooting factors: Grieves and torments herself over her stupidity but is helpless in the face of great evil.

6. How they react under stress: Plans and thinks out her strategy, whether it is getting the teens to the graveyard in the first place or as she tries throughout to dissuade the gang from meeting up.

7. Relationship with other characters: Integral part of the gang. Is surprised when the village rallies around her knowing that she got the gang to try the spell that wrecked so much death on the village.

B. What is their Character Journey for this story?

Character Intro: We meet the
gang of 6 teens that includes Kimberly, in the opening scene as they
celebrate Bradley’s birthday. </div><div>

Denial: Initially
refuses to accept responsibility for Bradley’s death.

Their reaction at first horror: That it is
some kind of a joke that will blow over.

Relation to group after first
horror:
With Sarah’s death, Kimberly takes on an over protective role and tries to
get the teens to stay separated.

How they fight back: Lays waster
to Ruth’s plans to meet up. Despite her family’s curfew, she finds a way
to get the spell to Julia to aid her investigation.

End Point: The evil spirit
uses Kimberly to attack Julia viciously as she goes into Tom’s house. However,
she survives as it before the midnight hour when she would turn 19 that
the spirit storms into Tom for revenge.

What insight do their deaths or
survival bring to the others/audience? In Kimberly’s survival the
village finds hope and a small victory that the spirit did not have the
last victim and they came away with something.

Sheriff Duncan Fletcher.

A. What is their Character Profile?

1. Role: Sheriff Duncan is the secret leader that controls Tom and the evil spirit protected by his title and thus above suspicion.

2. Traits: Evil, controlling and driven by a maniacal thirst for the black arts and satanism.

3. Fears: Fears his identity being revealed and will do anything to protect it.

4. Wants/Needs: Wants control over others whether as a sheriff or through his evil ways.

5. Likability / Rooting factors: The unsuspecting folks around him look to him for strength and he acts out his false goodness expertly.

6. How they react under stress: A calm and cool thinker without remorse.

7. Relationship with other characters: Is privy to everyone’s plans thanks to his position and offers false help while manipulating them.

B. What is their Character Journey for this story?

Character Intro: We meet Sheriff
Duncan as he investigates Bradley’s death. </div><div>

Denial: Tries to
defuse the situation and get the villagers to let down their guard by
rational explanations of the deaths.

Their reaction at first horror: A false put
on show and false assurances to bring the killer to justice.

Relation to group after first
horror:
Tries to show detailed investigation while fully aware of the true nature
of the evil.

How they fight back: Manipulates
Julia on to the wrong track as much as he can. Burns up Tom’s police file.
Sets the dogs on Julia as she enters Tom’s house and uses the evil spirit
in Kimberly to attack Julia and prevent her from reaching the crypt.

End Point: Disappears
at the end of the movie when he knows he has been exposed – a seed for a
future sequel.

What insight do their deaths or
survival bring to the others/audience? The Sheriff’s survival and
disappearance leaves the audience and the villagers with a sense of
incompleteness that the real culprit survived.

The town elders.

A. What is their Character Profile?

1. Role: Create a sense of mystery when they immediately suspect what may be reoccurring. They generally warn the teen families but still refuse to divulge the details from the past.

2. Traits: Secretive, fearful and pessimistic.

3. Fears: They fear the deaths will go on endlessly. They fear the wrath of evil spirits.

4. Wants/Needs: Want to protect the children and grandchildren but go about it rather half heartedly.

5. Likability / Rooting factors: We feel their pain as they relive the horror and we root for them hoping they will help bring an end to the carnage.

6. How they react under stress: Shock and a retreat into their shells. They turn to God for protection.

7. Relationship with other characters: Loved and respected by the younger generations.

B. What is their Character Journey for this story?

Character Intro: We meet
various elders in various roles throughout the story. </div>

Denial: That Julia
can stop the killings. They mock her and instead turn to Fr. Augustus to
perform an exorcism.

Their reaction at first horror: Instant
doubt and suspicion. Instant withdrawal into their homes protected by
religious objects.

Relation to group after first
horror:
Try to reach out to the younger ones to stay isolated and a firm belief it
is JH’s back as a spirit.

How they fight back: With
religious objects around the village. With warnings and a push to the
priest to take charge.

End Point: They lose
loved ones but live to see another day.

What insight do their deaths or
survival bring to the others/audience? A sense of pity that they had
to relive the horror and a sense of frustration in the audience that they
could have done more to help the investigation by sharing details of the
past rather than staying secretive about them.

[Kevin Lobo]

Kevin Lobo’s Monster track reveal:

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

I learned that creating a clear plot and sequence is so critical to leaving out blanks in the plot having ventured ahead without planning. In creating a monster reveal track, the significance of coming to a suspense filled reveal requires clear thought in dropping in the clues throughout the script.

A. Who is your monster and what is their terror?

The monster is the resurrected evil spirit of a serial killer, Jason Hughs of the village from a few decades back. Jason escaped the judicial punishment but was killed by vigilante justice – the killer never having been caught.

Only the older generations, including the old parish priest, Fr. Augustus, and a reclusive, retired detective, Giovanni, know about the events that occurred. The newer generations have been shielded from these facts and there is an unspoken ban on discussing those terrible times.

What are its powers?

The
monster/evil spirit acts through the teens it possesses. It can amplify the
strength of the teens exponentially causing immense physical harm to the
teen themselves and to those around.

What are its limitations?

The
monster/evil spirit can only exist in the humans it possesses. It’s
physical acts of violence and terror, both physically and psychologically
are manifested through the possessed teens.

What are its weaknesses?

The
monster/evil spirit is afraid of religious objects, the priest, and in the
vicinity of the village church.

What is its Plan/Purpose/Appetite?

The
monster/evil spirit seeks revenge for having been used in his physical
life to carry out the nefarious acts of the two men who used him to conduct
their evil/voodoo acts.

It seeks revenge for having been murdered after escaping judicial justice.

It is enraged as its head was stolen from its grave after it’s burial.

B. Sequence the reveals.

Throughout the movie, we look for the identity of the evil spirit through the eyes of FBI Detective Julia Edwards who has been dispatched to the village to help solve the case and stop the killings.

The audience sees the evil spirit at work in the opening scene but do not know anything else about it.

The village does not see the possessed killings until Ruth’s public killing at the midpoint but find the erupted grave with the initials JH at the start, and suspect that he is an evil spirit now (they stay hushed about it out of fear of the spirit and do not even take his name).

Detective Julia is unaware of both facts, and facing a hostile village must solve the puzzle piece by piece completely unaware, and skeptical at the start that the killings could be the work of an evil spirit or a monster.

1 After the opening scene killing, when Bradley is discovered the next day crucified upside down on a tree with his head missing, there are moments of silent glances exchanged among the village elders, with half-finished whispers of “he is back?”, creating a doubt that they know something.

CLUE: A CRUCIFIXION AND A MISSING HEAD

2 The elder villagers find the erupted grave of JH and begin to protect themselves and their houses with holy objects.

CLUE/DEMAND: THE ELDER VILLAGERS KNOW SOMETHING BUT ARE HUSHED ABOUT IT.

3 When details of the first death spread out, we see Tom Monaghan, a rich elder of the village, partly disabled, suspiciously scamper from the pub in fear of the crowd.

CLUE/DEMAND: TOM HAS SOME CONNECTION TO THE KILLING AND IMMEDIATELY RECOGNIZES THE MODUS OPERANDI OF THE KILLING. WHAT IS IT?

4 Throughout the killings and the demonic activity, we are aware of an eerie chant echoing in the background as if someone is controlling the spirit.

CLUE: IS THERE SOME OTHER FORCE AT WORK AS WELL?

5 When Sarah, the second teen is killed, in the same manner, on her 19th birthday, there is a vicious secretive confrontation between the retired detective, Giovanni, and the old priest, Fr. Augustus, with Giovanni accusing Fr. Augustus of black masses and for being responsible for the deaths, again.

CLUE: THERE IS SOME HISTORY TO THESE TWO AND IT GOES WELL INTO THE PAST.

6 When Detective Julia investigates the two crime scenes, she finds no traces of blood on the victims’ clothes nor on the ground, leading her to start believing the possibility of a spirit at work as in the taunts of the villagers as if she can fight the underworld.

CLUE: FOR A DETECTIVE TO FIND NO TRACES OF BLOOD AT THE KILLING SITE LEADS TO THE POSSIBILITY OF A NON HUMAN ELEMENT.

7 The remaining 4 teens meet up secretly despite being locked in by their parents and become aware of the pattern, killed on their 19th birthday. They immediately suspect that Ruth is next while she is with them and flee from her.

CLUE: THE TEENS HAVE BEEN LURED OUT OF THEIR HOMES BY THE NORMALLY WILD RUTH.

8 We see Tom flee to Fr. Augustus for help, casting doubt on both.

CLUE: WHAT IS THE RELATION BETWEEN FR. AUGUSTUS AND TOM AND WHAT SECRET DO THEY HIDE?

9 When Julia tries to find friends of the two teens killed, their families keep them locked away.

CLUE: DESPITE PUSHING HER TO SOLVE THE KILLINGS WHY WON’T THE PARENTS LET JULIA TALK TO THEIR TEENS IN OBVIOUS DANGER.

10 Ruth’s family decide to escape with her after being pushed by her grandfather who will not say why except that he seems certain she is next.

CLUE: THE GRANDFATHER KNOW SOMETHING. HE IS ALSO THE FORMER REGISTRAR. DOES 19 HAVE SOMETHING TO WITH JASON’S AGE?

11 When Julia investigates the death of Ruth’s family as they tried to escape, she becomes certain that the spirit has a deep connection to the village and has a very specific target and aim.

CLUE: THE POSSESSED RUTH, SEEMINGLY NORMAL BEFORE HER 19TH BIRTHDAY DRIVES HER DEAD FAMILY BACK INSTEAD OF FLEEING AND SAVING HERSELF.

12 Julia finds flaws in Ruth’s story of how her family was killed. She suspects it was Ruth herself in her possessed state.

CLUE: A TEEN COULD NOT HAVE WITNESSED SO MUCH KILLING AND ESCAPE UNHURT.

13 Aware that Julia is on to it, the spirit begins to torment Julia through the possessed Ruth, with incomplete messages of “bring it back”, “they will pay”, etc. The messages it leaves tell Julia that it is somebody known to the village, that it is a spirit at work through possession of the teens and seeks revenge and something more.

CLUE: THE EVIL SPIRIT COMMUNICATES DIRECTLY – IT WANTS REVENGE AND WANTS SOMETHING ELSE BACK. HAS IT BECOME HER ALLY?

14 Julia has been asked to begin her investigation with Giovanni and Fr. Augustus. It’s a nonstarter due to Giovanni’s unexplained hatred and hostility towards the priest further deepening her doubts about some relation to the past.

CLUE: A LOT OF ANSWERS COULD BE FOUND IN WHAT TRANSPIRED BETWEEN THESE TWO OLD MEN. HOW DOES SHE UNLOCK THEM?

15 Giovanni tells Julia to bring Tom in to stop the killings and Fr. Augustus defends Tom.

CLUE: GIOVANNI KNOWS SOMETHING DEFINITE, LEADING JULIA TO LOOK FOR MORE OFFICIAL RECORDS.

16 When Julia looks for the records from the original case investigation, she finds the file burnt but finds small clues leftover and the name Tom.

CLUE: THE POLICE RECORDS ARE DESTROYED BUT THERE IS HOPE IN FINDING MORE INFORMATION IN THE JUDICIAL RECORDS.

17 When Ruth is publicly killed, Julia has to act to pacify the revolting village. She decides to arrest Tom and in the raid on his house sees a picture of Tom, a very young Jason and a mysterious third in the shadows. She sees the initials JH on the picture.

CLUE: A DEFINITE LINK BETWEEN TOM, JH AND THE EXISTENCE OF A THIRD ENTITY. A YOUNG LAD JASON – IS IT SOME LINK TO THE 19TH BIRTHDAY KILLINGS?

18 Julia decides to exhume the erupted grave marked with just a JH in a bid to find the identity of the killer spirit. A rusty old belt on the headless skeleton that matches the figure in the picture at Tom’s place gives her a first solid connection to the mysterious JH and Tom.

CLUE: THE GRAVE HOLDS ANSWERS AND WHY IS THE HEAD MISSING!

19 Julia also finds a strand of short blond hair in the grave. However, the picture in Tom’s house shows both Tom and JH with dark hair.

CLUE: A STRAND OF BLONDE HAIR IN A DARK HAIRED MAN’S GRAVE.

20 The headless corpse in JH’s grave, answers the puzzle of what the spirit may be after and why the heads of the teens go missing after being killed.

CLUE: WHERE ARE THE MISSING HEADS OF THE TEENS?

21 Julia finds an envelope in the thrash around the grave. It is the envelope in which the spell was mailed to Kimberly which she may have dropped off as the teens escaped on the opening night. She has to confront Kimberly’s family to be able to question Kimberly.

CLUE: A MOST DEFINITE CLUE TO WHERE IT ALL BEGAN.

22 Kimberly slips Julia the spell page with the initials JH hand scribbled on the printed page further deepening the mystery that the second round of killings have been deliberately set in motion.

CLUE: A TORN PAGE WITH THE SPELL, THE HAND SCRIBBLED INITIALS JH. A PUZZLE COMING TOGETHER.

23 Julia also finds a match between the handwriting on the envelope mailed to Kimberly and on other envelopes mailed to Tom. She is convinced that the spirit may be the one behind the mailings or there is third mysterious element in the picture.

CLUE: WHO IS THE MYSTERIOUS ENTITY THAT MAILED KIMBERLY AND TOM.

24 Julia has to confront the fact that if only Tom and JH worked together in their evil acts as claimed by Tom then there must have been that third mysterious figure who must have dug up the head as Tom is partially invalid.

CLUE: HOW COULD THE DISABLED TOM HAVE DUG UP A GRAVE AND TAKEN THE HEAD? WHY IS TOM TAKING RESPONSIBILITY EVEN THOUGH FR. AUGUSTUS VOUCHES FOR HIS INNOCENCE.

25 Julia finally manages to bring Fr. Augustus and Giovanni together after Ruth’s death and confronts them with her findings. She is able draw out the rest of the story from the two but still unsure if it is JH back as a spirit.

CLUE: GIOVANNI STILL BELIEVES IT IS TOM AT WORK.

26 The missing head still remains a mystery – where is it? Julia is refused permission to raid Tom’s house again as the killings continued even after Tom’s arrest. Why would the Sheriff not allow it?

CLUE/DEMAND: TOM’S HOUSE STILL HOLDS A LOT OF ANSWERS TO SOLVING THE CASE AND STOPPING THE KILLINGS.

27 In a final deadly night, venturing alone, secretly into Tom’s house, Julia has to battle deadly killer dogs, spirits and the possessed Kimberly. As she falls deeper and deeper into the house, the basement and crypts below, viciously attacked by the possessed Kimberly, Julia ends up finding the secret black Mass chamber from where Tom conducted his evil activities. She finds Jason Hughs head, identified from the bullet hole on the forehead as she heard from folklore, from the vigilante justice meted out to him and his signature crooked jaw.

CLUE/DEMAND: DID THE POSSESSED KIMBERLY HELP JULIA IN FINDING JASON’S HEAD HIDDEN DEEP IN THE CELLARS IN TOM’S HOUSE.

28 When Tom is arrested, the echoed murmurings begin to drive other prisoners crazy. Julia suspects that the bible Tom reads might be the rest of the spell book from which the page to Kimberly came. It turns out not to be.

CLUE: THE SPELL CHANTING MURMURING IS CONFIRMED BUT WHERE OR WHO IS IT COMING FROM?

29 Julia becomes aware that all of her moves have been foreseen and the only one privy to those is the silver haired village sheriff. Tom himself displays an inexplainable dread of the Sheriff during his interrogation taking on all the blame himself. In a quiet moment of realization, she clicks on to the fact that the Sheriff is the third, who may also have shot Jason Hughs on his release to protect his identity and removed the head from the grave for further evil acts.

CLUE: THE SHERIFF IN THE ONLY ONE PRIVY TO ALL OF JULIA’S INVESTIGATION.

30 In the final fight at night, in the graveyard, as Julia tries to return Jason’s head, to save Kimberly about to turn 19 at midnight, Julia finally sees the full picture. The Sheriff and Tom arrive and prevent her from putting back the head. In a final bid for revenge, Jason’s spirit storms into Tom . Kimberly is thus spared from the crucifixion and survives. The Sheriff the most powerful behind the three is accused by the spirit of having condemned them all.

31 In a bid to save Fr. Augustus (conducting an ill-equipped exorcism), from the possessed Tom, Giovanni shoots Tom but the Sheriff escapes – a seed to a future sequel.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by  Kevin Lobo.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by  Kevin Lobo.

[Kevin Lobo]

Kevin Lobo’s Lesson 6 assignment.

What I learned doing this assignment is…I am beginning to see how this process works. Ordinarily I would have just slotted these events in as I wrote. Now I have a definite plot/timeline building in the outline and I can see everything coming together cohesively. Thank you.

1. Give us the order your characters die in.

The evil spirit will kill the 5 of the group of 6, one by one on their birthdays as they turn 19. They will all be killed in exactly the same way, crucified upside down as the killer would do in his physical life. However, we find the head of the victims missing, leading to the other subplot of the movie.

Kimberly, the one who received the spell and discretely led the group to the graveyard to try it out will be the last to get possessed but will survive as in the final night at the graveyard the evil spirit turns its attention to its true revenge on the two men that caused his downfall.

With each character tell us the why and how.

Character Death 1: Bradley

Why: Bradley is big handsome guy, the
football star, the crush of all the high school girls and also the rich
kid of the village. He is also the boisterous and brawny one. His birthday
night is when things kick off in the opening scene and he dies that night
as he is the first to turn 19 (besides having a reckless bravado who
lingers a little longer one the spell works and the grave erupts.

How: Bradley is crucified upside down
on a tree in the graveyard and his head goes missing. It is how all the
teens will be killed by the spirit.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Character Death 2: Sarah

Why: Sarah is next to turn 19. She had
a deep crush on Bradley and is determined to venture out that night as a
tribute to him.

How: Sarah is crucified upside down on
a wall and her head goes missing.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Character Death 3: Ruth

Why: Ruth is next to turn 19. She is
also the wild one who just having killed her family trying to escape the
town to save her, is determined to party on her birthday despite the warnings.

How: Ruth is crucified upside down on
a trailer in the village square in the midst of all the villagers gathered
to celebrate her birthday. Her head goes missing in the mayhem that ensues.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Character Death 4 and 5: Jason
and Glen (the twins)

Why: Jason and Glen being twins turn
19 together. Their family assisted by the village do their best to keep
the inseparable twins apart. The evil spirit manages to jump from one to
the other but in the end wins by bringing them both together and killing
them.

How: Jason and Glen are both crucified
upside down back at the graveyard as they try to fight the evil spirit and
take it back to the graveyard and free the village from its wrath.

2. Build the answers into your outline. – Not sure if I should post my entire completed outline with all of these details factored in.

[Kevin Lobo]

Kevin Lobo’s Horror Situation Track:

What I learned doing this assignment is planning is the key. The temptation to rush in and write is killing but these meticulous planning sessions are amazing in chalking out the details well in advance.

ACT 1

Atmosphere of Evil established: The gang of 6 teens venture into the graveyard, try the spell, release the evil spirit which possesses and kills one of them instantly.

Horror Situation: The gang see one of them being possessed, brutally assaulted, display demonic activity, and then get crucified.

Reaction – Escape: The terrified teens flee, finding themselves powerless to help their friend.

Horror Situation: As they flee, they sense, the evil spirit among them but are too terrified to say anything.

Reaction – Denial: The gang dismiss it as a one-off punishment for disturbing the dead and playing with the spell even though they feel they must alert their elders to the death of their friend. They agree to deny all knowledge and sink away quietly into their daily routine.

The group meet up a few days later to celebrate Sarah’s birthday who is the next to turn 19. They decide to keep it low key. There are subtle warnings from the village priest and the retired village FBI detective to bypass the celebrations.

Goaded on by the wild Ruth, the gang decide to celebrate anyway.

Horror Situation: Possession/Trapped – the group see Sarah’s full-blown possession.

Reaction – Fight: This time the group try to fight back as they don’t have a choice. They are trapped in their secret dugout.

The gang begin to get a sense from the two killed on their birthdays that this is not a one off now.

Denial of Horror: Yet, despite the two deaths, the remaining slink away, in fear and guilt rather than seek help or rope in the village elders and their families.

Safety taken away: As they flee, the evil spirit torments them having slipped into the next one. They realize that they have brought back the spirit with them.

Horror Situation: The gang see their next friend possessed but slip back into her normal self

Reaction – Try to solve it. The gang realize that there is no escape now. They begin to quietly reach out for help to the Priest, the detective and the FBI agent in the village who has been sent to solve the situation.

Horror Situation: The remaining teens begin to be tormented by the evil spirit now residing in Ruth as her birthday approaches. Their warnings are lost as the Ruth’s family sees a very normal Ruth

Reaction – Denial: From Ruth’s family.

Monster: Having see two possessions and death up close and knowing that Ruth is already next with the spirit in her, the remaining three see no escape. They are tormented by nightmares and gloom as they see the village and the FBI agent now working with the priest and the retired detective totally helpless themselves.

Horror Situation: The arrest of a rich man known to dabble in the occult does nothing to stop the possession in Ruth. The remaining three see the spirit mock them as the next.

Reaction: Utter despondency and paranoia, further fed in by the paranoia engulfing the village.

ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN

Isolated / Trapped / Abducted: Ruth’s family tries to get her away from the village with the promise of a Vegas birthday celebration.

Horror Situation: TRAPPED: The gang and the village see Ruth return from the village outskirts in a daze. She informs them that the spirit showed up as a zombie and killed her family, by crashing the car.

Reaction: Hide. The remaining three are quietly tormented by the spirit in Ruth, warning them not to escape. They know it is Ruth in her possessed form who has killed her family.

Horror Situation: Pursued. The possessed Ruth finds them easily, sneaking into their bedrooms at night. It is the evil spirit in Ruth who now begins to relay messages through Ruth to them.

Reaction: They try to reach out to the FBI detective for help but are locked in by their families for their own safety.

Horror Situation: The public death of Ruth.

Character Death: The entire village gathers for a special Church service on Ruth’s birthday to pray for protection and to protect Ruth who now does not have a family and is living in the protection of the priest. However, as the villagers emerge from the Church, the evil spirit surfaces and after the usual brutal physical assault, the demonic activity, the spirit kills Ruth in sight of the entire village leaving a final warning and a deadline to find and return something it wants back.

[Kevin Lobo]

Kevin Lobo’s Horror Plot

What I learned doing this assignment is…

Once again this lesson helped me look deep into the story way ahead and plot out key moments, the killings, the reveal and the death of each of the victims.

This was a fantastic training of my writing skill to thinking systematically long before writing a single page of the script.

This also helped plug in a ton of details long before introducing the protagonist and her secondary team and their fight in leading the village and the affected teens.

ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR

Atmosphere of Evil established

The entire village is now in the grip of fear. They begin to sense the nature of the horror and the pattern to the possessions and the killings.

Connect with the characters

The villagers who initially frowned on the disruptive teen gang of 6 that were turning 19, now begin to empathize and fully try to protect the teens.

The characters are warned not
to do it.

Two of the teens have been killed on the night of their 19^th birthday as they had their wild celebration. The town tries to isolate, hide and protect the teens. They warn them to let their birthdays pass by and live isolated from each other in the safety of their home.

Denial of Horror

The teens, especially, Ruth the rebellious and wild one will have none of it. She continues her carefree and open lifestyle helping the other surviving 3 to break out and join her.

Safety taken away

When Ruth’s family tries to escape the town promising her the allure of a wild birthday celebration in Vegas, the escaping family is confronted by the spirit in a zombie form and with the aid of the now possessed Ruth, kills them all.

Monster: The nature of the
beast.

The evil spirit in a headless zombie form, the systematic killing of the teens and the messages through the teens all bring about the realization that the spirit is not on a random killing spree. It follows its pattern from its live-days, and is seeking revenge and the return of something that has been taken away from it.

ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN

Isolated / Trapped / Abducted

The affected teens and their families are now fully trapped in the village.

One of us killed

In Ruth, the evil spirit reveals it’s full horror in the sight of the entire village as they rally in the comfort of a large crowd to recover Ruth’s slaughtered family. It kills Ruth in full sight of the village establishing it’s complete hold on the village.

MIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought!

Full pursuit by the killer

There are 3 teens remaining, with Jason and Glen, the twins sharing a birthday being the next obvious victims of the spirit. The villagers separate the twins and rally around them as protection but the spirit has already seeped into one. It moves from one to the other is a bid to slaughter them together as the villagers keep the twins separate and on the move to counter that spirit.

Terrorized

It is now a full fight between the spirit and the village. The villagers live in abject terror, knowing that they have no weapons or defenses of any sort against a belligerent evil spirit hell bent on its next killing.

ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR

Fight to the death

The villagers fight to protect Jason and Glen, knowing there is guaranteed fatal end for both if they don’t give it their all.

Hysteria

With the angry spirit unleashing mayhem through the possessed teen, Jason and Glen alternately, and others becoming collateral victims, hysteria sweeps the town. The paranoid villagers turn on each other as factions form in the best way to protect the teens.

The thrilling escape from death

Jason and Glen repeatedly escape death as the villagers are able to successfully get one or the other teen twin away from each other and revel in small victories.

Death returns to take one or
more.

The evil spirit ultimately gets both Jason and Glen.

Resolution

The villagers are now fully determined to protect Kimberly, the last teen surviving. That is despite knowing that it was Kimberly’s dare game, the spell she tricked the gang into using was what unleashed the spirit in the first place.

[Kevin Lobo]

Kevin Lobo’s Characters for Horror

What I learned doing this assignment is to think into a few minute details well ahead of writing, rather than making them up as I go. I learned to focus in on each character, even though they are smaller pieces in the puzzle and to give their characters a little more detail and some interesting perspective. It made me think of adding some subtext in terms of the inner dynamics of this group of teens that the audience will see die off one by one through the movie.

1. Tell us your Concept and the Group you have chosen.

The resurrected evil spirit of a serial killer that killed teens is back. The teens of the town are its victims again.

2. Tell us the Dying Pattern of this movie.

The evil spirit crucifies the teens upside down, the death coming from the extreme physical trauma suffered from the physical assault suffered prior to the crucifixion.

3. Give us an Identity and a sentence for each character that makes up your group.

A group of 6 teens, from grade 12, all just 18 that initially played the dare game that resurrected the spirit.

Kimberly, the silent influencer of the group, who leads them into the graveyard and gets them to try the spell that has been anonymously mailed to her. The spell becomes an obsession. Kimberly is the last to be possessed but survives at the end of the movie.

The rest, Bradley, Jason, Glen, Sarah and Ruth.

Bradley is the boisterous, rich one who also ends up providing the alcohol, the secret meeting places and the wheels for the groups to move around.

Jason and Glen make up his silent followers, who look up to him for his wealth and smart looks.

Sarah has a silent crush on Bradley hence tags along with the group. She is too shy and timid to express her feelings and too scared to break away even when she knows its dangerous.

Ruth, is the wild one. She bring a sense of recklessness and a defiant attitude and pushes the group into breaking the norms of society.

[Kevin Lobo]

Kevin Lobo’s Terrifying Monster :

I learned to focus on just the terror aspect itself. I learned to focus on just the entity and look at it from various deeper aspects rather than just a monster. I learned how to identify key elements of the monster and give it a detailed look.

1. Tell us what or who your monster is.

Unique: The monster is the resurrected evil spirit of a serial killer who was into demonic rituals in his actual life.

Unknown: The afflicted villagers initially only see this as an evil/possession of their teens. It is the method of killings, the ruptured grave and other clues that lead to the identity of the evil spirit.

Terrifying: When the spirit manifests itself in the teen it has taken possession of, it brutally assaults the teens in self-immolation and other physical self-harm. The brutal death that awaits the teen as they are crucified upside down is the final painful and most torturous act before death.

2. Give us a few sentences for each of the following for your monster:

Their Terror: The vicious
possession, the demonic behavior, the physical torture, the fear in just
the victims, but their families and the village at large.
Their Mystery: There is a pattern
to the killings, the targeted messages from the spirit, all lead to the
mystery that this is not just a random possession of one or two teens,
rather it is the work of some spirit with a connection to the town,
Their Fear Provoking Appearance: The
spirit itself is never seen. It manifests itself through the teen it
possesses. The hideous ghostly transformation of the teens into zombie like
humans and their possessed behavior is the Fear Provoking Appearance.
Their Rules: The spirit moves from
teen to teen only. It completely enslaves the village when it blocks and
kills entire families that try to escape.
Their Mythology: Though not a
mythology in the true sense of the word, the spirit has a deep connection
to the town. In real life the killer operated with others that are still
alive, the spirit is after something it wants recovered and a sense of
revenge.

[Kevin Lobo]

A. The monster/villain: The resurrected evil spirit of a serial killer, who plagued the town decades back, now unintentionally released by a spell game by innocent teens.

B. The interesting terror: Just like in his live days, the spirit kills the teens by crucifying them upside down. The spirit lies silent in the teen, then suddenly comes alive displaying demonic activity, kills them and silently moves to the next teen.

C. An isolated and horrific environment: The little town of Davisville lies locked down due to fears of the demonic and possessed killings. The few teen bearing families that try to escape meet a fatal end in the forests around the town.

D. The people who will be terrorized: Primarily the teens of the town. However, as the town folk descend into paranoia, they turn on each other as well.

PRIMAL FEARS:

Fear of the dark / Fear death / Fear of being alone / Fear of the dead underworld

[Kevin Lobo]

Hi, Everyone! My name is Kevin Lobo and I live in Toronto, ON, Canada.

This is my 8th script in the last 3 year (since I started writing screenplays – a gift from COVID lockdowns). Before that I’ve self published 2 books and written a ton of short stories (1 trade published in an anthology).

This is my first horror. I hope to really nail this on with Hal’s help and make my breakthrough.

Strangely, I am an IT guy (no surprise there). I’ve had a 30 year career as a DBA primarily. I do data, data-analytics, etc. Once of my screenplays is called CYBERDOOMS DAY WWIII. It’s based on my journey into cyber security.

Looking forward to this journey with all of you.

Kevin

[Kevin Lobo]

1. Kevin Lobo.

2. I agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.