Lora
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Lora has Completed Act 2 Draft 1
What I learned doing this assignment is it’s always good to read your writing with fresh eyes.
Made a few minor tweaks;
nothing worth reposting. -
Lora’s Act 2 TP – Midpoint
What I learned doing this assignment is it’s easy to second guess yourself. Just trying to keep pushing ahead!
Act 2 – Midpoint:
Beginning: Chandler and Protagonist hang out frequently, but their romance remains innocent.
Middle: There is a birthday party for Chandler’s roommate. He tells the Protagonist how much he likes her. Later they get into a fight and he screams at her. The next day he swears he doesn’t remember the fight, but she can’t forget the horrible things he said.
End: We get to see our main character struggling to fit in with her classmates. Though she gets along with most of her class, she never feels like she belongs. She is bullied by an older girl, Katrina, in regards to Chandler. Protagonist cries in the bathroom while her friend consoles her.
INT. CHRISTOPHER, WILLIAM AND DARREN’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Phoenix and Haley are hanging out with William and Christopher when the phone rings. Williams answers it in the next room. After a few minutes, he calls out.
WILLIAM
Phoenix, you have a phone call!
PHOENIX (giving him a strange look as she takes the phone)
Hello?
CHANDLER
Hey.
Phoenix smiles into the receiver but doesn’t say anything.
CHANDLER
It’s Chandler.
PHOENIX (playing it cool)
Oh, hey. What are you upto?
CHANDLER
We’re playing card games. I was wondering if you wanted to come over and join us?
William is making kissy faces and obscene gestures. Phoenix turns away from him while trying not to laugh.
PHOENIX (slowly)
Sure, I could do that.
CHANDLER (smiling)
Okay, I’ll see you soon.
Phoenix hangs up the phone.
PHOENIX (to William)
You’re a dork.
WILLIAM
Are you gonna get lucky tonight?
PHOENIX (blushing)
No. He invited me over to play cards. Do you want to come with me?
WILLIAM
Are you sure I won’t ruin the mood?
PHOENIX (swatting at him)
Stop it. Are you coming or not?
WILLIAM (taking a drink of beer)
Alright, but you’re driving.
PHOENIX (rolling her eyes playfully)
What else is new?
INT. CHANDLER AND JOEY’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Phoenix, Haley and William arrive at Chandler and Joey’s house. They enter and Chandler gives Phoenix a hug. He is wearing his blue visor. They sit at the table and play cards for awhile. Most of the games involve alcohol, but they never pressure Phoenix to drink. They offer alternatives and make her feel like part of the group. Phoenix’s phone rings and she goes into another room to take the call.
PHOENIX’S MOM
Hi, honey. It’s getting late and it’s a school night. What time are you coming home?
PHOENIX
Sorry, Mom, I lost track of time. I’ll be home soon, in less than an hour.
PHOENIX’S MOM
Okay, be safe. I’ll wait up for you. I love you.
PHOENIX
I love you, too, Mom.
Phoenix returns to the kitchen. Chandler looks at her and smiles.
PHOENIX (to William and Haley)
That was my mom. I’ve got to get home. Are you guys ready to go?
Chandler looks disappointed. Phoenix feels insecure about her age again.
EXT. CHANDLER AND JOEY’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Haley and William get into Phoenix’s car. Chandler walks her outside.
CHANDLER
Are you coming to Joey’s birthday party this weekend?
PHOENIX
I plan on it.
CHANDLER
Okay. I can’t wait to see you.
Chandler kisses her and William whistles from the car.
PHOENIX (embarrassed)
I’ve got to go. I’ll see you soon.
Chandler waves at them as they drive off.
INT. CHRISTOPHER, WILLIAM AND DARREN’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Phoenix, Haley, Eden and Gabrielle arrive to see lots of cars parked up the lane. The music is pulsating as soon as they get out of the car. This is a very similar scene to the first night she met Chandler. The girls head into the house. There is a keg and Chandler is already very drunk.
CHANDLER (slurring)
Hey, pretty girl! I’m glad you’re here!
Chandler is wearing his blue visor and he puts his arm around Phoenix, kisses her on the cheek and stumbles. Phoenix is not impressed. Eden, Haley and Gabrielle start drinking. Chandler participates in beer bongs, keg stands and shots. By the end of the night, he is trashed. The party has thinned out and Phoenix is tired.
CHANDLER (to Phoenix)
Let’s go upstairs.
PHOENIX
No thanks.
CHANDLER
Why not?
PHOENIX (quietly)
Because I don’t want to.
CHANDLER (offended)
You don’t really like me very much, huh?
PHOENIX (scoffs)
You’re drunk.
CHANDLER
So? You could be, too, if you pulled that stick out of your ass.
PHOENIX (angry)
I’m driving my friends home. One of us has to be responsible.
CHANDLER (mimicking Phoenix)
I can’t have fun, I’m a good kid.
CHANDLER (blows raspberry)
You’re fucking lame. I guess that’s what I get for trying to date a high school kid.
Chandler walks into the next room as Phoenix’s eyes fill with tears. Haley comes around the corner and sees her sad friend.
HALEY (drunk, but concerned)
What’s wrong?
PHOENIX (wiping her eyes)
Nothing. Can you grab Gabrielle and Eden? I’m ready to go home. I’ll meet you outside.
Phoenix takes another look at Chandler, who is now hanging on another girl. She pushes her way outside angrily. She is waiting at the car when her friends stumble out, singing and laughing as they try to walk. Despite herself, Phoenix smiles at her friends. The girls envelope Phoenix in a group hug and tell her they love her. Phoenix dries her eyes as she gets behind the steering wheel. The girls chat animatedly as Phoenix drives towards home, her mind elsewhere.
INT. PHOENIX’S HIGH SCHOOL – DAY
Phoenix and Haley are the lobby during lunch when Katrina saunters down the hall with her friends. As they approach Phoenix, Haley nudges her hard and nods towards Katrina.
Phoenix does a double take as Katrina stands in front of her wearing a baby blue Playboy visor.
KATRINA (touching the bill and adjusting it)
Do you like my new hat? Chandler gave it to me.
Everyone within earshot stops what they are doing to watch the confrontation. Phoenix is dumbfounded.
KATRINA (laughing cruelly)
You’re pathetic! Chandler doesn’t want anything to do with you!
Katrina and her friends laugh as they continue down the hall.
KATRINA (over her shoulder as she waves the visor around)
Thanks for the new hat!
Phoenix is humiliated as she storms off to the bathroom. Haley follows her.
INT. WOMEN’S HIGH SCHOOL BATHROOM – DAY
Phoenix locks herself in a stall and cries for a minute. Haley leans back against the sink and waits.
HALEY
Katrina is a dumb bitch.
Phoenix comes out with a blotchy face and red eyes. Haley gives her a hug.
HALEY
I don’t get it. Chandler loved that gift. Why would he give it away?
PHOENIX (dabbing her eyes with a tissue)
I don’t know. I guess it was all just an act.
HALEY
No way, I was there! I saw his face. You can’t fake that kind of enthusiasm.
PHOENIX
Maybe he doesn’t like me that much and this is his way of letting me know?
Haley grabs Phoenix by the shoulders and gives her a shake.
HALEY
Do you hear yourself? You know that’s not true. Everyone knows he likes you.
PHOENIX (clearing throat)
Apparently not.
Haley folds her arms and leans back while Phoenix tries to compose herself in the mirror.
HALEY
I’m going to get to the bottom of this.
PHOENIX (swallowing a lump in her throat)
No! Just leave it alone. He’s already spoken loud and clear. Whatever he and I had for a fleeting moment is over.
HALEY
Phoenix–
PHOENIX (sadly)
Haley, I can’t face him. I’m too embarrassed. Actions speak louder than words. Maybe Chandler and Katrina have something going on?
HALEY (sternly)
Not possible. I don’t believe that for a second.
PHOENIX (shrugging)
I’m really not so sure anymore. Time will tell.
HALEY (bewildered)
You mean you’re not going to call him and ask him about it?
PHOENIX (clicking tongue)
And be humiliated all over again? No thanks.
Phoenix throws the soaked tissue in the trash and both girls exit the bathroom.
INT. PHOENIX’S HIGH SCHOOL – DAY
Katrina makes a point to run into Phoenix every day for the rest of the week, always with the visor hanging off of her wrist or sitting on her head. Katrina taunts Phoenix with it every time she passes by. Finally the bell rings on Friday afternoon and the students leave school, excited for their Christmas break.
EXT. PHOENIX’S HIGH SCHOOL – DAY
Phoenix is sitting in her car after school, getting ready to go home. Katrina circles around her in her car, pointing at the visor hanging off her rearview mirror. She rolls down her window.
KATRINA (laughing)
Have a nice Christmas vacation, bitch! And remember not to waste your money on presents for boys who don’t like you!
Katrina drives off cackling. Phoenix sighs and then punches her steering wheel before starting the car and driving home.
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Lora’s Act 2 Middle Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is I’m really starting to get the hang of letting dialogue flow!
Act 2:
INT. PHOENIX’S HIGH SCHOOL – DAY
Phoenix is at her locker, chatting with her friends. We notice a dramatic improvement in her mood and confidence. Levi walks by and Phoenix doesn’t hide; instead she ignores him as he checks her out.
HALEY (whistling)
Did you see that?
PHOENIX (shrugging)
Yeah. His loss.
EDEN
How are things with Chandler?
PHOENIX (SMILING)
He’s having a party Saturday night and you’re all coming with me!
GABRIELLE (looking at her friends)
Count us in.
INT. PHOENIX’S CAR – NIGHT
Phoenix is driving with her three friends in the car. The pull up to Chandler’s house and manage to find an opening parking spot in his backyard.
PHOENIX
There’s a lot of people here!
EDEN (applying lipstick in the mirror)
Are you excited to see Chandler?
PHOENIX (fixing her hair)
I am. Nervous, too.
HALEY
Don’t be nervous. I’m sure he’s excited to see you!
GABRIELLE
I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m thirsty. Let’s go.
EXT. CHANDLER AND JOEY’S HOUSE – NIGHT
There are quite a few party guests drinking and socializing in the yard. Everyone stops to watch the girls walk into the house.
INT. CHANDLER AND JOEY’S HOUSE – NIGHT
The girls are greeted with loud, pulsing music. The house is mostly dark and is lit by several black lights and a strobe lamp. People are strewn throughout the house, dancing and talking. Phoenix looks for Chandler as her friends grab beers out of the cooler. Chandler smiles as he sees Phoenix and embraces her in a hug.
CHANDLER (yelling over the music)
I’m glad you came!
PHOENIX
Thanks for inviting me!
Phoenix and Chandler dance along to the music. Haley surveys the crowd with her back to the wall while Gabrielle and Eden chat with some boys. KATRINA (short, dark curly hair) walks by and runs her hand over Chandler’s back. She leans in close and whispers something in his ear while staring at Phoenix. Her hand lingers on Chandler’s arm.
KATRINA (to Chandler)
Thanks for the invite. I’ll call you later.
Katrina winks at him as she leaves. Phoenix is uncomfortable about their exchange. She tries to shrug it off as she continues dancing with Chandler.
HALEY
I hate to break this up, but I have to be home before curfew.
PHOENIX
Okay. Grab the girls and I’ll meet you outside.
CHANDLER
You can’t leave yet!
PHOENIX
I’ve got to.
Chandler pouts before pulling Phoenix into a hug and kissing her.
CHANDLER
I’ll call you soon.
PHOENIX
Okay.
EXT. CHANDLER AND JOEY’S HOUSE – NIGHT
The girls head outside towards the car when Katrina starts yelling at them.
KATRINA
It’s about time you whores leave!
GABRIELLE
Who are you calling a whore?
Katrina blindsides Gabrielle with a punch to the face. Gabrielle falls to the ground while Katrina jumps on her and continues punching her. Eden and Haley pull her off of Gabrielle while Phoenix stands frozen in disbelief. Katrina’s friends lead her away as Phoenix helps Gabrielle to her feet.
KATRINA
Let that be a lesson to you all to stay out of my territory!
Gabrielle is covered in cuts and grass stains. She spits blood out onto the ground.
GABRIELLE
The next time you see me, you better fucking run!
INT. PHOENIX’S CAR – NIGHT
PHOENIX (To Gabrielle)
Are you okay?
GABRIELLE (dabbing at a cut that won’t stop bleeding)
I’m fine. That bitch would have been the one bleeding if it had been a fair fight.
HALEY
I think you’re going to need stitches, Gabrielle. That cut is pretty deep.
GABRIELLE (sarcastically)
My mother is going to be so pleased with me.
EDEN
It’s not your fault! Katrina started it.
PHOENIX
Should I take you to the emergency room?
GABRIELLE (staring in the mirror)
Ugh. I guess you better.
EXT. HOSPITAL – NIGHT
Phoenix and Haley are sitting on a beach outside the emergency room. Eden is lingering nearby, smoking a cigarette.
PHOENIX
I feel so bad for Gabrielle.
EDEN
She’s tough. She can handle it.
PHOENIX
I know, but she was sticking up for me.
HALEY
What is Katrina’s problem, anyway?
PHOENIX
I don’t know. I see her at school every day, but I’ve never talked to her.
EDEN
Did you see the way she was touching Chandler?
PHOENIX
Unfortunately, I had a front-row seat.
HALEY
He didn’t seem very interested in her.
Phoenix sighs. The emergency room door slides open and Gabrielle walks out with fresh stitches under her eye.
GABRIELLE (bowing)
Scarface, at your service.
Phoenix gives her a hug.
PHOENIX
Thanks for always having my back.
GABRIELLE
Someone has to put that bitch in her place!
PHOENIX (laughing)
Alright, Rocky, let’s get you home.
INT. PHOENIX’S BEDROOM – AFTERNOON
The phone rings.
PHOENIX
Hello?
CHANDLER
Hey.
PHOENIX
How are you?
CHANDLER (angrily)
You tell me.
PHOENIX
What do you mean?
CHANDLER
My party got busted shortly after you left. Any chance you or your friends called the cops?
PHOENIX (stammering)
No, no we didn’t.
CHANDLER
It just seems really convenient how your friend got hurt and suddenly the cops were there.
PHOENIX (getting mad)
We took Gabrielle to the hospital. And she told them she ran into a cupboard in the dark. You’re welcome.
CHANDLER (embarrassed)
Oh. I’m sor-
PHOENIX (annoyed)
Look, I’ve got to go. Hope you had fun at your party.
Phoenix hangs up.
INT. HIGH SCHOOL GYMNASIUM – AFTERNOON
Phoenix and Haley are at Colorguard rehearsals. After practicing their routine a few times, they take a break.
HALEY
I can’t believe Chandler thought you were the reason his party got busted.
PHOENIX (shrugs)
I suppose it’s easier to blame some young, dumb high school girl than contemplate that maybe his neighbors were tired of the noise.
HALEY
This age thing really bothers you, huh?
PHOENIX
Did I tell you that he invited me to a concert next weekend?
HALEY
On State finals weekend?
PHOENIX (nods)
I turned him down. Then he asked why. Telling him I had a high school function to attend didn’t impress him very much.
HALEY
I’m sorry.
PHOENIX (sighs)
I feel like I’m out of my league here. He’s out of school, working full time and living on his own. I don’t smoke, gamble, and I hardly drink. I’m also not experience in any of the physical elements of an adult relationship. (Puts head in hands) Why do I think I even stand a chance with him?
HALEY
To be fair, he knew how old you were the first night he met you.
PHOENIX
Maybe so, but I doubt he needs a constant reminder that I’m a few years younger than him.
HALEY
So what are you going to do?
PHOENIX
I think the best plan is to just play things cool for awhile. I’m not going to go out of my way to see him or call him. I’ll put the ball in his court. That should tell me pretty quickly how interested he is.
HALEY (smiling)
For a young broad, you sure are wise beyond your years.
PHOENIX (smirking)
Thanks, you old hag.
HALEY (laughing)
I’m only a few months older than you!
PHOENIX
Was color TV a thing when you were a kid?
HALEY (laughing)
Oh the stories I could tell you about how things were back in my day…
PHOENIX
Spare me. I’ve already heard them all.
The girls laugh and head back to practice.
INT. PHOENIX’S HIGH SCHOOL – DAY
Phoenix is at her locker when Gabrielle approaches. Her stitches still look pretty fresh.
GABRIELLE
What’s the plan for this weekend?
PHOENIX
Haley and I have state finals.
GABRIELLE (smirking)
Oh, that’s right. I figured we could find some more trouble to get into.
Levi walks by and does a double take at Gabrielle’s wound.
LEVI
What happened to your face?
GABRIELLE (sassy)
The same thing that’s going to happen to yours if you don’t mind your business!
PHOENIX (laughs)
I really think he enjoys the attention.
GABRIELLE
He should, his girlfriend doesn’t pay him any unless you’re around. She’s just trying to make you jealous.
PHOENIX (closing her locker)
Let her keep trying. Everyone needs a hobby.
The girls laugh and walk to class.
INT. STATE FINALS – NIGHT
Haley and Phoenix are in matching uniforms with their team. Their performance goes great and they get first place in their division. After dinner with the coaches, the girls go back to their hotel room.
INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
Haley and Phoenix are in separate beds, watching television.
HALEY
Have you heard from Chandler?
Phoenix shakes her head no.
HALEY
He’d probably call you if you’d give him your cell phone number.
PHOENIX
Meh. If and when the time comes that I think he’s worthy of it, then I’ll give it to him.
HALEY
You play hardball.
PHOENIX
I’m just stubborn.
Phoenix’s phone rings.
WILLIAM
How did it go?
PHOENIX (nonchalantly)
We got first place.
WILLIAM (laughs)
You say that so humbly.
PHOENIX
It was pretty cool, but I don’t want to brag.
WILLIAM
I’m calling to tell you that Chandler was just here looking for you.
PHOENIX (pauses then changes the TV channel)
Oh yeah?
WILLIAM
This is the second night this week he’s been out here asking about you.
PHOENIX
What did you tell him?
WILLIAM
That you weren’t here.
PHOENIX (laughs)
Thanks, Cowboy Obvious.
WILLIAM
Are you going to give him your number?
PHOENIX (thinking)
Maybe. I haven’t decided yet.
WILLIAM
Will we see you next weekend?
PHOENIX (smiling)
You can count on it.
INT. CLOTHING STORE IN A MALL – DAY
Haley and Phoenix are at the mall with their team. They are doing some Christmas shopping before heading home. Haley is looking for a gift for her sister. Phoenix is helping her when she sees a baby blue Playboy visor on the wall. She picks it up and rolls it around in her hands then puts it back. She goes back to shopping. She returns to the visor and picks it up again, then carries it over to Haley.
PHOENIX
Do you think Chandler would like this?
HALEY (smirking)
What happened to playing it cool?
PHOENIX
I’m not saying I’m going to give it to him, but if the occasion arose, do you think he’d like it?
HALEY (looks at the visor and then to Phoenix)
Absolutely. I could totally see him wearing it.
PHOENIX (skeptical)
Really?
HALEY
Yes. I think the part that he’d like most is that it’s a gift from you.
PHOENIX (unsure)
You don’t think he’ll freak out that I bought him something?
HALEY (squeezing Phoenix’s shoulder)
He’s going to love it.
Phoenix is still unsure of her purchase. She carries the visor around the store while she helps Haley shop. She puts it back twice and then decides to buy it at the last minute.
INT. PHOENIX’S KITCHEN – NIGHT
Phoenix wraps the visor with great care in tissue paper, places the gift in a gift bag and ties a ribbon around the handle. She examines the package for a few minutes looking for flaws. Then she carefully places it in the trunk of her car.
INT. CHRISTOPHER, WILLIAM AND DARREN’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Phoenix and Haley are sitting on the couch. Haley is drinking a beer. Christopher and William are sitting on the couch opposite them. They are watching a movie when Phoenix’s phone rings.
PHOENIX
Hey, Mom.
PHOENIX’S MOM
There’s a bad freezing rain/snowstorm rolling in. Does Christopher have a couple of couches you girls can crash on? I don’t want you driving in this mess.
PHOENIX
Yeah, we can stay here tonight.
PHOENIX’S MOM
Good! Please don’t go anywhere. The roads are already terrible.
PHOENIX
I’ll be home in the morning once the roads are cleared off.
PHOENIX’S MOM
I love you, sweetie. Have fun and behave!
PHOENIX
I love you, too, Mom. I’ll see you tomorrow.
Haley looks at Phoenix as she hangs up the phone.
PHOENIX (to Christopher and William)
I hope you boys don’t mind, but Haley and I are stranded here tonight until the blizzard clears.
CHRISTOPHER (taking a drink of his beer)
Like I told you the first night you were here, make yourself at home.
The house phone rings. Phoenix is closest to it, so she answers it.
DARREN (on the phone)
What are you doing?
PHOENIX
We’re just hanging out. Which one of your roommates would you like to talk to?
DARREN
Actually, I was calling for you. Hold on, someone wants to talk to you.
There is some shuffling and whispering as the phone changes hands.
CHANDLER
Hey, what are you upto?
PHOENIX (slowly)
Hey. We’re watching a movie. What are you upto?
CHANDLER
We’re playing games. Would you like to join us?
Phoenix glances sideways at Haley, who looks very comfy on the couch. The voice of her mother resounds in her ear, telling her not to drive anywhere.
PHOENIX (drumming her fingers on the arm of the couch)
I’d like to, but it’s pretty crappy out. I think we’re just going to stay here.
CHANDLER (disappointed)
Oh.
There is some rustling and muffled conversation on Chandler’s end.
CHANDLER
We’ll be over in a bit.
PHOENIX (sitting forward)
Are you sure? They aren’t advising travel at all right now.
CHANDLER
I’ll see you soon.
Phoenix hangs up the phone as Haley looks at her.
WILLIAM
What did Chandler want?
PHOENIX
How did you know who I was talking to?
WILLIAM
He’s been calling here regularly for you. Check the caller ID if you don’t believe me.
Phoenix scrolls through the caller ID and is surprised to see Chandler’s name on it so many times.
WILLIAM
What did he want?
PHOENIX (looking up)
They’re coming over.
Haley lets out a little squeal and nudges Phoenix.
HALEY (whispering)
Now you can give him your gift.
Phoenix smile fades as she remembers the gift in her car.
Darren arrives fifteen minutes later.
DARREN
It’s so cute that your boyfriend is risking his life to come see you!
Darren giggles and makes kissy noises before dancing up the stairs to bed. Christopher and William head upstairs shortly after.
Joey and Chandler arrive a half hour later. Chandler is wearing his signature yellow visor. Joey sits on the couch next to Haley and they chat. Phoenix carries the case of beer to the fridge. Chandler follows her into the kitchen. He presses Phoenix up against the sink and kisses her feverishly. His fingertips creep under her shirt to her lower back and she pulls away to catch her breath.
CHANDLER
I really like you.
PHOENIX
I like you, too, Chandler.
Phoenix mindlessly plays with the buttons on Chandler’s shirt. She needs some fresh air.
PHOENIX
I have something for you. I’ll be right back.
Phoenix dashes out to her car as the freezing rain hits her in the face. She almost falls on her ass. She pulls the gift out of the trunk and stands in the rain for a few moments letting herself cool down. She walks back to the house very carefully, slipping a few times. She takes a few deep breaths before opening the door. She returns to the kitchen and hands Chandler the gift bag.
CHANDLER
What’s this?
PHOENIX
Just something that made me think of you.
Chandler carefully opens the gift and runs his hands over the visor before beaming ear to ear.
CHANDLER
I love it!
He replaces the yellow visor on his head with the new blue one. Then he pulls Phoenix into a hug and kisses her.
CHANDLER
Thank you so much!
Phoenix leads them back to the living room and they sit on the couch opposite from Joey and Haley.
CHANDLER (pointing to his visor and grinning)
Look what Phoenix got me.
Haley winks at Phoenix and gives her a thumbs up sign.
JOEY
That’s really nice!
The boys stay for several hours and leave close to sunrise.
CHANDLER (holding Phoenix’s hands)
I had a lot of fun with you tonight.
PHOENIX
I’m glad you came over.
Chandler kisses her again.
CHANDLER
I’ll see you soon.
Phoenix waves as she and Haley watch the boys depart.
INT. PHOENIX’S CAR – MORNING
HALEY
He loved your gift! I told you he would!
PHOENIX
I probably wouldn’t have bought it if you hadn’t convinced me
HALEY
You guys are so freaking cute! Even the way he looks at you is adorable. I’m so happy for you!
Phoenix turns back to the road and smiles.
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Lora’s Act 2 Reaction to the Turning Point 1
What I learned doing this assignment is I’m already rethinking my format and how I’d like to change things.
Act 2:
9 MONTHS EARLIER FLASHBACK – INT. PHOENIX’S HIGH SCHOOL – DAY
Phoenix is walking through the hall at school with some friends, including GABRIELLE (dark curly hair, glasses), HALEY (glasses, wavy light brown hair) and EDEN (stylish, short blonde hair). She sees Levi walking her way. She gets shy and turns away, pretending not to see him.
GABRIELLE (whispering)
I heard he just broke up with his girlfriend. Why don’t you ask him out?
PHOENIX
No way!
HALEY
Why not?
PHOENIX (sadly)
He’d never say yes.
EDEN
You don’t know until you try!
GABRIELLE, HALEY AND EDEN (overlapping encouragement)
Yes! Do it! C’mon!
INT. PHOENIX’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Phoenix stares at the phone for a long time. Finally, she sighs, picks it up and dials Levi’s number.
LEVI’S MOM
Hello?
PHOENIX (nervously)
Hi, could I speak with Levi?
LEVI’S MOM
Sure. Can I ask who’s calling?
PHOENIX (embarrassed)
This is Phoenix.
LEVI’S MOM (yelling)
Levi, there’s a girl on the phone for you!
LEVI
Hello?
PHOENIX
Hi, Levi, it’s Phoenix.
LEVI
Hi.
PHOENIX
I heard you and your girlfriend broke up?
LEVI
Yeah, we did.
PHOENIX (tiny voice)
Well… would you want to go out with me?
There is a lengthy pause.
LEVI
No.
PHOENIX (shocked)
Why not?
Levi laughs and hangs up with no explanation. Phoenix stares at the phone while the dial tone resounds loudly. She finally sets the phone down and then hugs her knees to her chest as tears roll down her face.
INT. PHOENIX’S HIGH SCHOOL – MORNING
Phoenix heads to school the next morning feeling down and embarrassed. It seems as if all of her classmates are laughing at her.
HALEY
How are you doing?
PHOENIX
Can embarrassment kill you? If so, consider me dead.
EDEN
C’mon, it can’t be that bad!
PHOENIX
He. Hung. Up. On. Me.
GABRIELLE
Just wait until I see him. He’s going to get an ear full from me.
Levi walks down the hall towards them. Phoenix sticks her head in her locker and sighs. Gabrielle glares at him as he passes.
GABRIELLE
You are a fucking coward, Levi!
PHOENIX (from inside locker)
Is he gone yet?
EDEN
Yep, he’s gone.
Phoenix closes her locker and leans against it.
GABRIELLE
I have just the thing to cheer you up! There’s a party at my friend’s house tonight. There will be plenty of single guys there.
PHOENIX
No thanks. I’m done with guys for awhile.
HALEY
I’m going, which means you’re going, too. I already told my mom I’m staying at your house.
Phoenix shoots Haley a dirty look.
HALEY
You’re going! There’s more guys out there than stupid Levi. Give someone else a chance.
GABRIELLE
C’mon, Phoenix. It will be fun. I promise.
Phoenix is silent for a few moments as she stares at her friends eager faces.
PHOENIX (sighing)
Fine.
GABRIELLE
Great! I’ll pick you up at 8.
INT. GABRIELLE’S CAR – NIGHT
Phoenix is sitting white-knuckled in the passenger seat as Gabrielle carelessly uses the whole road as her own personal lane. She runs over an entire family of raccoons and shrugs.
GABRIELLE
Whoops.
PHOENIX
Where did you learn to drive, Gabrielle?
GABRIELLE (puffing on a cigarette)
Driver’s Ed. I think he passed me so I wouldn’t have to take it again.
PHOENIX
I can see why. You’re giving me your keys when we get to this party. I’ll drive us home.
GABRIELLE
Perfect. That means I can drink as much as I want.
Haley holds her beer up from the backseat.
HALEY
Cheers to that!
Eden and Haley clink drinks together and cheer. Gabrielle pulls down a long, gravel lane to a brick house on top of the hill.
EXT. CHRISTOPHER, WILLIAM AND DARREN’S HOUSE – NIGHT
GABRIELLE
We’re here!
Phoenix falls out of the car, happy to be on solid ground. She makes kissing noises towards the grass.
PHOENIX (to grass)
I love you. I’ve never been so happy to be on solid ground in my life.
INT. CHRISTOPHER, WILLIAM & DARREN’S HOUSE – NIGHT
The girls walk into the party. The house is crowded and the music is loud. There is a keg in the kitchen, which Gabrielle, Eden and Haley pour themselves drinks from. Phoenix strolls in behind them carrying Gabrielle’s keys. Gabrielle and Eden wander off to talk to boys while Haley and Phoenix perch in the corner of the living room and take in the scenery. They are laughing about something when Phoenix looks up and spots Chandler for the first time. Chandler is talking to some friends when he sees Phoenix and smiles at her. Haley sees the interaction and nudges Phoenix.
HALEY (slightly slurring)
He’s cute. And he’s been checking you out for awhile now.
Phoenix smiles.
PHOENIX (shrugging)
I’m sure he’s got a girlfriend.
CHRISTOPHER (short, wavy hair, average height) throws an arm around Haley and Phoenix.
CHRISTOPHER
So you’re friends of Gabrielle’s?
The girls nod.
CHRISTOPHER (pointing to roommates)
Welcome to our party! WILLIAM (tall, late 20s/early 30s, mustache, cowboy type) and DARREN (short, buzz cut, good looking but goofy personality) also live here. Let us know if you need anything, otherwise make yourself at home.
The party continues for several more hours. The girls head out to the garage, where they meet more new friends and dance the night away. Haley, Eden and Gabrielle are getting increasingly more intoxicated while Phoenix patiently waits until they are ready to go home. Upon returning into the house, Phoenix is sad to discover Chandler is nowhere to be found.
GABRIELLE
I’m drunk, let’s go home.
The girls head outside and start walking to the car. Chandler runs behind to catch up.
CHANDLER
There you are!
Phoenix looks confused at his outburst.
CHANDLER (To Phoenix)
Hi, I’m Chandler.
PHOENIX (shaking his hand)
Phoenix.
CHANDLER (pointing)
This is my roommate, Joey.
Phoenix shakes his hand and introduces both boys to her friends. JOEY (brown hair, backwards hat) and Haley seem to hit it off. Phoenix and Chandler chat for quite awhile. Chandler’s hand rests on her waist.
GABRIELLE
I’m going to start the car.
Phoenix hands Gabrielle the keys. Chandler uses this opportunity to kiss Phoenix. After they pull apart, he draws her close against him and nuzzles his cheek against hers.
CHANDLER
When can I see you again?
PHOENIX
I’m not sure.
CHANDLER
Can I call you?
Phoenix writes her number on his hand. Chandler smiles and kisses her again.
GABRIELLE (whistling)
C’mon, Lover Girl, let’s go!
PHOENIX (to Chandler)
I’ve got to go. I’ll see you soon.
Chandler let his hand slowly slip out of hers and watches her walk away. He puts his hands in his pockets and grins. Phoenix smiles as she climbs in the car and her friends squeal as they pull down the drive.
-
Lora’s Finished Act 1
What I learned doing this assignment is it’s good to read your writing out loud. You catch more errors that way!
Act 1:
INT. PHOENIX’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Beginning: Phoenix is badly beaten and near-unconscious on the floor of the shower. Blood washes down the drain.
Middle: A collage of scenes flash behind her closed eyes – she and Sterling in better times. Hope for their future is fleeting at the moment; tears stream down her face.
End: There is a pounding on the door. Her roommate, Camelle, calls out her name again and again. Her voice echoes and sounds far away as Phoenix tries to come out of the darkness. There’s a close up on her face as we see the cuts, bruises and river of tears, and then she opens her eyes and gasps.
INT. LOCAL BAR – NIGHT
Beginning: Phoenix is the bartender, exchanging drinks for a living wage and tips. Her attitude is carefree, a high contrast from the previous scene. She smiles as she works the room. She hops on stage to sing with the band. She is far from the shy, nerdy girl in high school. The regular bar patrons adore her.
Middle: STERLING (brown hair, caramel eyes, attractive) walks in with a brunette woman on his arm and they take a seat at the bar. The sight of it takes Phoenix’s breath away.
GARRETT (blue eyes, military haircut, attractive), Phoenix’s coworker/friend and friend to Sterling appears at Phoenix’s side.
GARRETT
I got this.
Phoenix pretends to be busy as Garrett steps over to take care of them.
STERLING (to Garrett)
I’d like you to meet Jenna.
Garrett stares at her outstretched hand and leaves it hanging in the air.
GARRETT (monotone)
Nice to meet you.
GARRETT (to Sterling)
What can I get you to drink?
Sterling pays for both drinks and calls his date “babe” – a word that feels like a knife in Phoenix’s heart.
Sterling talks to a stone-faced Garrett while Phoenix dreadfully watches the clock tick closer to the end of Garrett’s shift, knowing she will soon have to face Sterling and his date on her own.
ALBERT (late 30s, stocky, soft), owner of the bar enters as Garrett’s shift is ending as takes Garrett’s place as Sterling’s bartender.
GARRETT (to Phoenix)
Are you okay?
Phoenix swallows a lump in her throat and nods.
GARRETT
Do you want me to stick around?
PHOENIX (shaking her head then forcing a smile)
No, I’m sure you have plans of your own. Get on out of here!
GARRETT
Promise me you’ll call me when you get off work.
PHOENIX
I promise.
Garrett leaves the bar without saying goodbye to Sterling.
PHOENIX (quietly to Albert)
I’m so glad you’re here.
ALBERT (nodding towards Sterling)
What is he doing?
PHOENIX (sadly)
I really don’t know.
ALBERT
He’s a real piece of shit.
BAR PATRON (to Phoenix)
Who is the slutty girl with your man?
PHOENIX (sadly)
He’s apparently not my man anymore.
BAR PATRON
What a fool. She ain’t got nothin’ on you!
WILLIAM (tall, late 20s/early 30s, cowboy type), a friend of Phoenix, pulls up a seat at the bar. Albert acts as a human barricade by waiting on Sterling all night so Phoenix doesn’t have to. As Jenna becomes more intoxicated, she starts hitting on every male in the bar. She sits on William’s lap and steals his hat. She gives Albert her number. Sterling has to drag her off William’s lap and out of the bar at the end of the night.
It is an emotionally-taxing night for Phoenix. Her usual happy personality is gone. She has to force a smile all night. The neon lights are off and the “closed” sign is displayed. Phoenix is busy wiping down the bar when the door opens.
PHOENIX (Without looking up)
Sorry, we’re closed!
GARRETT
I know.
Phoenix looks up to see Garrett’s exquisite blue eyes and smiles. Garrett locks the door and helps with closing chores.
GARRETT (gently)
How did it go?
PHOENIX (sadly)
She flirted with everyone who had a penis. I can’t believe he’d rather be with her than me.
ALBERT
She’s crazy and Sterling is nuts. They deserve each other.
The two boys laugh. Phoenix does not.
ALBERT
Why don’t you guys head out and I’ll finish up.
EXT. SIDEWALK IN FRONT OF LOCAL BAR – NIGHT
GARRETT (chirps his car lock)
Do you want to go for a drive?
PHOENIX (smiling)
I thought you’d never ask.
SEVERAL YEARS BEFORE – EXT. OUTSIDE STERLING’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Phoenix meets Chandler and a few friends outside of Sterling’s house. They exchange hugs and greetings. Three guys including Sterling walk out of the house.
CHANDLER (To Phoenix)
I’d like you to meet Sterling.
Sterling and Phoenix smile and nod at each other. There is an instant connection between them. Chandler passes out beers to everyone, including Phoenix, who looks at him strangely.
CHANDLER
You’re not driving tonight, which means you are going to drink with us.
As Phoenix starts to protest, Chandler reaches over and opens the can for her. Giving in to peer pressure, she takes a drink and balks at the flavor.
CHANDLER (grinning)
It’s an acquired taste, you’ll get used to it.
CHANDLER (to group)
Alright, let’s get this party on the road!
INT. DRIVER’S CAR – NIGHT
Chandler, Sterling, Phoenix, PRESTON (short in height, dark hair cut short, very laid back attitude) and the driver climb into the car and take off with no real destination in sight. Phoenix is tucked behind the driver, with Preston next to her and Sterling on the other side of him. She is still trying to slowly choke down the beer. Chandler is controlling the music in the passenger seat. Phoenix is trying to relax and have fun. They drive aimlessly over gravel roads, just chatting and listening to music. Eventually they come across a party and decide to stop.
EXT. DAMIEN’S HOUSE – NIGHT
There is a small crowd hanging out around a bonfire. They greet the boys warming while Phoenix hangs back. She doesn’t know anyone at the party. DAMIEN (athletic build, blonde hair, ice blue eyes) and Chandler exchange a bro hug and chat before Damien sees Phoenix.
DAMIEN (standing tall and gesturing towards Phoenix)
And who is this?
CHANDLER (smiling)
That’s Phoenix.
Chandler waves Phoenix over to where they are standing.
CHANDLER
Phoenix, meet Damien.
Damien kisses the top of Phoenix’s hand.
DAMIEN (smiling seductively)
It’s nice to meet you.
PHOENIX (blushing)
It’s nice to meet you, too.
DAMIEN
Where are you from? Heaven?
Damien continues to flirt with Phoenix. Sterling is watching them. He grows annoyed with Damien’s pickup attempts and steps between them.
STERLING
It’s time to go!
DAMIEN (calmly)
You just got here.
STERLING (glaring and through gritted teeth)
It doesn’t matter. We’re leaving. Now!
Sterling rounds his companions up and ushers them towards the car.
DAMIEN
Thanks for stopping by, Phoenix! Please come back anytime!
Damien winks at Phoenix, which pisses Sterling off even more.
INT. DRIVER’S CAR – NIGHT
Sterling changes seats with Preston to sit next to Phoenix. Phoenix finishes her first beer, and Chandler celebrates by opening another and handing it to her. Phoenix is slightly drunk and is now more laid back. She dances and sings along to the music Chandler is playing. There is a lot of laughs.
Every time the vehicle goes around a corner, Sterling squishes Phoenix into the side of the car. Phoenix laughs and pushes him back. This continues for awhile and Sterling tries to touch her. She slaps his hand away and her hand lands on his thigh. There’s a major spark of electricity between them. He smiles at her as he laces their fingers together and rubs his thumb across her hand.
STERLING (over the music)
Can I kiss you?
PHOENIX
What?
Sterling kisses her. Time stops and the rest of the car fades away.
Preston sees this and slaps the back of Chandler’s seat, trying to get his attention. Phoenix pushes Sterling off of him just as Chandler turns around.
CHANDLER (to Preston)
What’s up?
PRESTON
Uhh… never mind.
Chandler shrugs and returns the music volume to a deafening level. Phoenix is slightly shaken from the force of the kiss. Sterling tries to kiss her again and she turns away, pulling her hand out of his grasp.
STERLING
What’s wrong?
PHOENIX
We can’t do this.
STERLING
Why not?
PHOENIX
Chandler and I… we… have history.
STERLING (looking skeptical)
Alright.
There is tension and awkwardness in the car. Phoenix feels bad. She never drinks; she isn’t thinking clearly. She’d give anything to be able to get out of this car right now.
EXT. STERLING’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Phoenix practically jumps out of the car as soon as they arrive back to Sterling’s house. She wants to leave immediately.
CHANDLER (to Phoenix)
Would you give me a ride back to my house?
PHOENIX
Yeah, I can do that.
Sterling watches the two of them as they head to Phoenix’s car.
STERLING
Hey, Chandler, do you want to have another drink?
CHANDLER (shrugging)
Sure.
STERLING (winking at Phoenix)
Good! I’ll meet you at your house.
Phoenix looks bewildered as she raises her eyebrows at Sterling. What is he doing?!
EXT. OUTSIDE OF TOWN – DAWN
Chandler and Phoenix drive outside of town. He instructs her to park in the middle of a gravel road and they step out of the car.
CHANDLER (pointing)
Over there is where our supplier would drop off our beer in high school.
They lean back against the car and take in the view overlooking the small town. The sky is starting to get light in the distance. Chandler puts his arm around Phoenix.
CHANDLER
The real reason I brought you here is because this is the best place to watch the sun rise.
PHOENIX
Sun rise?! What time is it? I’ve got to go!
CHANDLER (looking disappointed)
Okay, raincheck on the sun rise. Let’s head back to my place.
They get in the car and drive back to Chandler’s place. Sterling is waiting in his car out front. The three of them walk into Chandler’s house to find his roommate passed out already and the stereo blasting at full volume.
INT. CHANDLER’S HOUSE – DAWN
Sterling and Chandler crack open another beer. Chandler turns on the TV and stretches out on one couch. Sterling claims the other. Phoenix sits on the back of the couch watching the boys settle in. Chandler looks at Phoenix and pats the spot in front of him.
PHOENIX (shaking her head)
I’ve got to go.
CHANDLER
Not yet you don’t!
Chandler pulls Phoenix over the couch and rolls her into a lying position in front of him. Chandler’s puppy is bouncing around and as Phoenix scratches his ear, Sterling’s hand closes over hers and squeezes. She looks into his dismal eyes and feels guilty. She quickly pulls her hand back. As the puppy continues to jump on them, Chandler pulls the blanket up around them and kisses Phoenix. He pulls back and strokes her cheek.
CHANDLER (with emotion)
I like you so much.
PHOENIX (casually)
I like you, too.
CHANDLER
We should date, you and I.
Seeing Phoenix’s shocked expression, Chandler rambles on.
CHANDLER
I’m serious! I think we’d be great together.
PHOENIX
Maybe. Let’s see how things go and talk again about dating down the road.
CHANDLER
I’m really glad you came out tonight.
PHOENIX (smiling)
Get some rest and I’ll see you soon, okay?
CHANDLER (innocently)
Will you stay until I fall asleep?
Phoenix nods and Chandler snuggles against her. He is asleep within minutes. Phoenix crawls out from the cover tent and tucks him in. As she turns to leave, she sees Sterling sleeping soundly on the other couch. She covers him with a blanket and gives him a hug as she does so.
PHOENIX (whispering)
I’m sorry.
Phoenix takes one last look at them before she closes the door quietly behind her. She realizes she cares about both of them and we see the stress on her face as she gets into her car and drives towards home.
INT. PHOENIX’S HOUSE – MORNING
Phoenix is late for her school function. She barely has enough time to shower, throw on her uniform and dash out the door.
INT. PHOENIX’S HIGH SCHOOL – MORNING
Phoenix arrives to school with her hair soaking wet. HALEY (light brown hair, sassy attitude) is there, in the same uniform, waiting for her.
HALEY
Good morning, sunshine! What time did you get in this morning?
PHOENIX (sighs)
I haven’t been to bed yet.
HALEY
Holy shit! How did it go?
Phoenix notices LEVI (tall, athletic, short brown hair, brown eyes) hanging nearby, listening intently.
PHOENIX (lowering her voice)
It was… interesting. I’ll tell you about it later.
After the event is over, Phoenix can hardly keep her eyes open.
HALEY
Will you go to that demo derby with me this afternoon?
Phoenix shakes her head, but before she can say no, Haley sweetens the deal.
HALEY
I’ll drive and you can take a nap on the way.
Phoenix groans.
HALEY
Please?
PHOENIX (sighs)
Ugh, fine.
EXT. DEMO DERBY – NOON
Phoenix is sitting on a picnic table, trying not to fall asleep. Haley, JOEY (Chandler’s roommate, brown hair, backwards hat), BRYCE (stocky, blonde, glasses) and others are chatting nearby.
JOEY (in a singsong voice to Phoenix)
Did you have a good time last night?
PHOENIX (exhausted, but nonchalant)
It was pretty fun.
JOEY (smiling coyly)
I know, I heard. Chandler is still at home sleeping it off.
Joey winks at her before he is pulled into a different conversation a little further away. Bryce puts his foot on the bench of the picnic table and leans into Phoenix.
BRYCE (quietly)
You’ve got to stop messing around with Chandler.
PHOENIX
Huh?
BRYCE (lighting a cigarette and taking a drag)
I’m serious. He doesn’t deserve you.
PHOENIX (amused)
Why do you say that?
BRYCE (blowing out smoke and waving his cigarette in the air)
Look, Chandler is a great friend of mine. He does like you, but the two of you are never going to go anywhere. He’s got a lot of growing up to do and it’s not going to happen anytime soon. Do yourself a favor and don’t waste your time, you’re only going to get hurt.
Before Phoenix can reply, Joey and his friends come back. Bryce joins their conversation like he hadn’t just given Phoenix a warning.
HALEY (to Phoenix)
Are you ready to go?
Phoenix nods and hops off the table. Bryce gives her a hug before she leaves.
BRYCE (whispering)
Remember what I said.
Phoenix and Haley walk to the car and get in.
INT. HALEY’S CAR – MID AFTERNOON
HALEY
What was that all about?
PHOENIX
Bryce told me to stay away from Chandler. He said I’m wasting my time.
HALEY (shrugging)
Everyone knows Chandler likes you. I’d say if you like him, go for it.
PHOENIX
Last night, Chandler suggested that he and I should date exclusively.
HALEY
And you said yes, right?
Much to Haley’s dismay, Phoenix shakes her head.
PHOENIX
Things between us are good right now and I don’t want to mess that up. Also, he was drunk. It’ not a conversation I want to have while he’s intoxicated. I told him we should see how things go from here and talk about dating a little further down the road.
HALEY
That makes sense. It’s not like he’s going anywhere. He’s clearly smitten with you.
Phoenix smiles as she leans against the headrest and closes her eyes.
INT. PHOENIX’S BEDROOM – LATE AFTERNOON
Phoenix drags herself up the stairs and is asleep before her head hits the pillow. Several hours later her phone rings, which she answers before she’s even awake.
PHOENIX (groggily)
Hello?
STERLING
Hey.
PHOENIX (still half asleep)
Hi… Who am I talking to?
STERLING (casually)
This is Sterling.
PHOENIX (Suddenly awake)
Sterling?
STERLING
Yeah. We met last night.
PHOENIX
Oh, hey. (pauses) I’m really sorry about last night. I didn’t handle things very well.
STERLING (breezily)
It’s not a big deal. (Lengthy pause) Do you think that maybe you and I could go out sometime?
PHOENIX (flustered)
Maybe?
STERLING
I’d like that.
Phoenix and Sterling chat on the phone for another hour. Conversation is easy and seamless. After they finally hang up, Phoenix sets her phone down on the nightstand and settles back into bed. She rolls to face the camera, closes her eyes and grins.
-
Lora’s Turning Point 1 Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is dialogue is easier to write the less you think about it.
Act 1:
INT. PHOENIX’S HOUSE – MORNING
Phoenix is late for her school function. She barely has enough time to shower, throw on her uniform and dash out the door.
INT. PHOENIX’S HIGH SCHOOL – MORNING
Phoenix arrives to school with her hair soaking wet. HALEY (light brown hair, sassy attitude) is there, in the same uniform, waiting for her.
HALEY
Good morning, sunshine! What time did you get in this morning?
PHOENIX (sighs)
I haven’t been to bed yet.
HALEY
Holy shit! How did it go?
Phoenix notices LEVI (tall, athletic, short brown hair, brown eyes) hanging nearby, listening intently.
PHOENIX (lowering her voice)
It was… interesting. I’ll tell you about it later.
After the event is over, Phoenix can hardly keep her eyes open.
HALEY
Will you go to that demo derby with me this afternoon?
Phoenix shakes her head, but before she can say no, Haley sweetens the deal.
HALEY
I’ll drive and you can take a nap on the way.
Phoenix groans.
HALEY
Please?
PHOENIX (groaning)
Ugh, fine.
EXT. DEMO DERBY – NOON
Phoenix is sitting on a picnic table, trying not to fall asleep. Haley, JOEY (Chandler’s roommate, brown hair, backwards hat), BRYCE (stocky, blonde, glasses) and others are chatting nearby.
JOEY (in a singsong voice to Phoenix)
Did you have a good time last night?
PHOENIX (exhausted, but nonchalant)
It was pretty fun.
JOEY (smiling coyly)
I know, I heard. Chandler is still at home sleeping it off.
Joey winks at her before he is pulled into a different conversation a little further away. Bryce puts his foot on the bench of the picnic table and leans into Phoenix.
BRYCE (quietly)
You’ve got to stop messing around with Chandler.
PHOENIX
Huh?
BRYCE (lighting a cigarette and taking a drag)
I’m serious. He doesn’t deserve you.
PHOENIX (amused)
Why do you say that?
BRYCE (blowing out smoke and waving his cigarette in the air)
Look, Chandler is a great friend of mine. He does like you, but the two of you are never going to go anywhere. He’s got a lot of growing up to do and it’s not going to happen anytime soon. Do yourself a favor and don’t waste your time, you’re only going to get hurt.
Before Phoenix can reply, Joey and his friends come back. Bryce joins their conversation like he hadn’t just given Phoenix a warning.
HALEY (to Phoenix)
Are you ready to go?
Phoenix nods and hops off the table. Bryce gives her a hug before she leaves.
BRYCE (whispering)
Remember what I said.
Phoenix and Haley walk to the car and get in.
INT. HALEY’S CAR – MID AFTERNOON
HALEY
What was that all about?
PHOENIX
Bryce told me to stay away from Chandler. He said I’m wasting my time.
HALEY (shrugging)
Everyone knows Chandler likes you. I’d say if you like him, go for it.
PHOENIX
Last night, Chandler suggested that he and I should date exclusively.
HALEY
And you said yes, right?
Much to Haley’s dismay, Phoenix shakes her head.
PHOENIX
Things between us are good right now and I don’t want to mess that up. Also, he was drunk. It wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have while he was intoxicated. I told him we should see how things go from here and talk about dating a little further down the road.
HALEY
That makes sense. It’s not like he’s going anywhere. He’s clearly smitten with you.
Phoenix smiles as she leans against the headrest and closes her eyes.
INT. PHOENIX’S BEDROOM – LATE AFTERNOON
Phoenix drags herself up the stairs and is asleep before her head hits the pillow. Several hours later her phone rings, which she answers before she’s even awake.
PHOENIX (groggily)
Hello?
STERLING
Hey.
PHOENIX (still half asleep)
Hi… Who am I talking to?
STERLING (casually)
This is Sterling.
PHOENIX (Suddenly awake)
Sterling?
STERLING
Yeah. We met last night.
PHOENIX
Oh, hey. (pauses) I’m really sorry about last night. I didn’t handle things very well.
STERLING (breezily)
It’s not a big deal. (Lengthy pause) Do you think that maybe you and I could go out sometime?
PHOENIX (flustered)
Maybe?
STERLING
I’d like that.
Phoenix and Sterling chat
on the phone for another hour. Conversation is easy and seamless. After they
finally hang up, Phoenix sets her phone down on the nightstand and settles back
into bed. She rolls to face the camera, closes her eyes and grins -
Lora’s Inciting Incident
What I learned doing this assignment is the more you make the dialogue conversational, the easier it comes to you.
Act 1:
SEVERAL YEARS BEFORE – EXT. OUTSIDE STERLING’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Phoenix meets Chandler and a few friends outside Sterling’s house. They exchange hugs and greetings. Three guys including Sterling walk out of the house.
CHANDLER (To Phoenix)
I’d like you to meet Sterling.
Sterling and Phoenix smile and nod at each other. There is an instant connection between them. Chandler passes out beers to everyone, including Phoenix, who looks at him strangely.
CHANDLER
You’re not driving tonight, which means you’re going to drink with us.
As Phoenix starts to protest, Chandler reaches over and opens the can for her. Giving in to peer pressure, she takes a drink and balks at the flavor.
CHANDLER (grinning)
It’s an acquired taste, you’ll get used to it.
CHANDLER (to group)
Alright, let’s get this party on the road!
INT. DRIVER’S CAR – NIGHT
Chandler, Sterling, Phoenix, PRESTON (short in height, dark hair cut short, very laid back attitude) and the driver climb into the car and take off with no real destination in sight. Phoenix is tucked away behind the driver, with Preston next to her and Sterling on the other side of him. She is still trying to slowly choke down the beer. Chandler is controlling the music in the passenger seat. Phoenix is trying to relax and have fun. They drive aimlessly over gravel roads, just chatting and listening to music. Eventually they come across a party and decide to stop.
EXT. DAMIEN’S HOUSE – NIGHT
There is a small crowd hanging out around a bonfire. They greet the boys warming while Phoenix hangs back. She doesn’t know anyone at the party. DAMIEN (athletic build, blonde hair, ice blue eyes) and Chandler exchange a bro hug and chat before Damien sees Phoenix.
DAMIEN (standing tall)
And who is this?
CHANDLER (smiling)
That’s Phoenix.
Chandler waves Phoenix over to where they are standing.
CHANDLER
Phoenix, meet Damien.
Damien kisses the top of Phoenix’s hand.
DAMIEN (smiling seductively)
It’s nice to meet you.
PHOENIX (blushing)
It’s nice to meet you, too.
DAMIEN
Where are you from? Heaven?
Damien continues to flirt with Phoenix. Sterling is watching them. He grows annoyed with Damien’s pickup attempts and steps between them.
STERLING
It’s time to go!
DAMIEN (calmly)
You just got here.
STERLING (glaring and through gritted teeth)
It doesn’t matter. We’re leaving. Now!
Sterling rounds his companions up and ushers them towards the car.
DAMIEN
Thanks for stopping by my house! Phoenix, please come back anytime!
Damien winks at Phoenix, which pisses Sterling off even more.
INT. DRIVER’S CAR – NIGHT
Sterling has changed seats with Preston to sit next to Phoenix. Phoenix finishes her first beer, and Chandler celebrates by opening another and handing it to her. Phoenix is slightly drunk and is now more laid back. She dances and sings along to the music Chandler is playing. There is a lot of laughs.
Every time the car goes around a corner, Sterling squishes Phoenix into the side of the car. Phoenix laughs and pushes him back. This continues for awhile and Sterling tries to touch her. She slaps his hand away and her hand lands on his thigh. There’s a major spark of electricity between them. He smiles at her as he laces their hands together and rubs his thumb across her hand.
STERLING (over the music)
Can I kiss you?
PHOENIX
What?
Sterling kisses her. Time stops and the rest of the car fades away.
Preston sees this and slaps the back of Chandler’s seat, trying to get his attention. Phoenix pushes Sterling off of him just as Chandler turns around.
CHANDLER (to Preston)
What’s up?
PRESTON
Uhh… never mind.
Chandler shrugs and returns the music volume to a deafening level. Phoenix is slightly shaken from the force of the kiss. Sterling tries to kiss her again and she turns away, pulling her hand out of his grasp.
STERLING
What’s wrong?
PHOENIX
We can’t do this.
STERLING
Why not?
PHOENIX
Chandler and I… we… have history.
STERLING (looking skeptical)
Alright.
There is tension and awkwardness in the car. Phoenix feels bad. She never drinks; she isn’t thinking clearly. She’d give anything to be able to get out of this car right now.
EXT. STERLING’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Phoenix practically jumps out of the car as soon as they arrive back to Sterling’s house. She wants to leave immediately.
CHANDLER (to Phoenix)
Would you give me a ride back to my house?
PHOENIX
Yeah, I can do that.
Sterling watches the two of them as they head to Phoenix’s car.
STERLING
Hey, Chandler, do you want to have another drink?
CHANDLER (shrugging)
Sure.
STERLING (winking at Phoenix)
Good! I’ll meet you at your house.
Phoenix looks bewildered as she raises her eyebrows at Sterling. What was he doing?!
EXT. OUTSIDE OF TOWN – DAWN
Chandler and Phoenix drive outside of town. He instructs her to park in the middle of the gravel road and they step out of the car.
CHANDLER (pointing)
Over there is where our supplier would drop off our beer in high school.
They lean back against the car and take in the view overlooking the small town. The sky is starting to get light in the distance. Chandler puts his arm around Phoenix.
CHANDLER
The real reason I brought you here is because this is the best place to watch the sun rise.
PHOENIX
Sun rise? Holy shit, what time is it? I’ve got to go!
CHANDLER (looking disappointed)
Okay, raincheck on the sun rise. Let’s head back to my place.
They get in the car and drive back to Chandler’s place. Sterling is waiting in his car out front. The three of them walk into Chandler’s house to find the stereo blasting at full volume, while his roommate is passed out already.
INT. CHANDLER’S HOUSE – DAWN
Sterling and Chandler crack open another beer. Chandler turns on the tv and stretches out on one couch, Sterling claims the other. Phoenix sits on the back of the couch watching the boys settle in. Chandler looks at Phoenix and pats the spot in front of him.
PHOENIX (shaking her head)
I’ve got to go.
CHANDLER
Not yet you don’t!
Chandler pulls Phoenix over the couch and rolls her into a lying position in front of him. Chandler’s puppy is bouncing around and as Phoenix scratches his ear, Sterling’s hand closes over hers. She looks up into his dismal eyes and feels guilty. She quickly pulls her hand back. As the puppy continues to jump on them, Chandler pulls the blanket up around them and kisses Phoenix. He pulls back and strokes her cheek.
CHANDLER (with emotion)
I like you so much.
PHOENIX (casually)
I like you, too.
CHANDLER
We should date, you and I.
Seeing Phoenix’s shocked expression, Chandler rambles on.
CHANDLER
I’m serious! I think we’d be great together.
PHOENIX
Maybe. Let’s see how things go and talk about dating again down the road.
CHANDLER
I’m really glad you came out tonight.
PHOENIX (smiling)
Get some rest and I’ll see you soon, okay?
CHANDLER (innocently)
Will you stay until I fall asleep?
Phoenix nods and Chandler snuggles against her. He is asleep within a few minutes. Phoenix crawls out from the cover tent and tucks him in. As she turns to leave, she sees Sterling sleeping soundly on the other couch. She covers him with a blanket and gives him a hug as she does so.
PHOENIX (whispering)
I’m sorry.
Phoenix takes one last look at both men before she closes the door quietly behind her. She realizes she cares about both of them and we see the stress on her face as she gets into her car and drives towards home.
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Lora’s Act 1: Opening Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is not to overthink the dialogue. It will come naturally the more you play with it.
Act 1:
INT. PHOENIX’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Beginning: Phoenix is badly beaten and near-unconscious on the floor of the shower. Blood washes down the drain.
Middle: A collage of scenes flash behind her closed eyes – she and Sterling in better times. Hope for their future is fleeting at the moment; tears stream down her face.
End: There is a pounding on the door. Her roommate, Camelle, calls out her name again and again. Her voice echoes and sounds far away as Phoenix tries to come out of the darkness. There’s a close up on her face as we see the cuts, bruises and river of tears, and then she opens her eyes and gasps.
INT. LOCAL BAR – NIGHT
Beginning: Phoenix is the bartender, exchanging drinks for a living wage and tips. Her attitude is carefree, a high contrast from the previous scene. She smiles as she works the room. She hops on stage to sing with the band. She is far from the shy, nerdy girl in high school. The regular bar patrons adore her.
Middle: Sterling walks in with a brunette woman on his arm and they take a seat at the bar. The sight of it takes Phoenix’s breath away.
GARRETT, Phoenix’s coworker/friend and friend to Sterling appears at Phoenix’s side.
GARRETT
I got this.
Phoenix pretends to be busy as Garrett steps over to take care of them.
STERLING (to Garrett)
I’d like you to meet Jenna.
Garrett stares at her outstretched hand and leaves it hanging in the air.
GARRETT (monotone)
Nice to meet you.
GARRETT (to Sterling)
What can I get you to drink?
Sterling pays for both drinks and calls his date “babe” – a word that feels like a knife in Phoenix’s heart.
Sterling talks to a stone-faced Garrett while Phoenix dreadfully watches the clock tick closer to the end of Garrett’s shift, knowing she will soon have to face Sterling and his date on her own.
ALBERT, owner of the bar enters as Garrett’s shift is ending as takes Garrett’s place as Sterling’s bartender.
GARRETT (to Phoenix)
Are you okay?
Phoenix swallows a lump in her throat and nods.
GARRETT
Do you want me to stick around?
PHOENIX (shaking her head)
No, I’m sure you have plans of your own. Get on out of here!
GARRETT
Promise me you’ll call me when you get off work.
PHOENIX
I promise.
Garrett leaves the bar without saying goodbye to Sterling.
PHOENIX (quietly to Albert)
I’m so glad you’re here.
ALBERT (nodding towards Sterling)
What is he doing?
PHOENIX (sadly)
I really don’t know.
ALBERT
He’s a real piece of shit.
BAR PATRON (to Phoenix)
Who is the slutty girl with your man?
PHOENIX
He’s apparently not my man anymore.
BAR PATRON
What a fool. She ain’t got nothin’ on you!
WILLIAM, a friend of Phoenix’s, pulls up a seat at the bar. Albert acts as a human barricade by waiting on Sterling all night so Phoenix doesn’t have to. As Jenna becomes more intoxicated, she starts hitting on every male in the bar. She sits on William’s lap and steals his hat. She gives Albert her number. Sterling has to drag her off his lap and out of the bar at the end of the night.
It is a emotionally-taxing night for Phoenix. Her usual happy personality is gone. She had to force a smile all night. The neon lights are off and the “closed” sign is displayed. Phoenix is busy wiping down the bar when the door opens.
PHOENIX (Without looking up)
Sorry, we’re closed!
GARRETT
I know.
Phoenix looks up to see Garrett’s exquisite blue eyes and smiles. Garrett locks the door and helps with closing chores.
GARRETT
How did it go?
PHOENIX (sadly)
She flirted with everyone with a penis. I can’t believe he’d rather be with her than me.
ALBERT
She’s crazy and Sterling is nuts. They deserve each other.
The two boys laugh. Phoenix does not.
ALBERT
Why don’t you guys head out and I’ll finish up.
EXT. SIDEWALK IN FRONT OF LOCAL BAR – NIGHT
GARRETT (chirps his car lock)
Do you want to go for a drive?
PHOENIX (smiling)
I thought you’d never ask.
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Lora’s Beat Sheet Draft 2
What I learned doing this assignment is after sleeping on this beat sheet, things have become a little clearer and my first draft seems more cohesive than I originally thought. I think we’re on the right track!
Act 1:
INT. HERO’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Opening: Protagonist is near-unconscious in the shower. Blood washes down the drain. A collage of scenes flash behind her closed eyes. What led to this event?
INT. LOCAL BAR – NIGHT
Protagonist is the bartender, exchanging drinks for a living wage and tips. She hops on stage to sing with the band. The regular bar patrons adore her. She has come so far since being a nerd in high school. The Antagonist walks in and takes her breath away. It’s clear they know each other. Dialogue is exchanged; there is hurt and tension between them. How did they get here?
FLASHBACK – EXT. OUTSIDE A FRIEND’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Transformational Event: She meets friends at the designated location. They exchange hugs and drinks are handed out. The Antagonist walks out of the house, they are introduced and smile at each other. There’s an instant connection, something neither of them have experienced before. They all get in the car and roadtrip to a party.
EXT. OUTSIDE A PARTY – NIGHT
Inciting Incident: While the Protagonist is being hit on by the party host, the Antagonist becomes annoyed and forces his entourage to leave. On the drive home, he spends his time making the Protagonist laugh and he kisses her. He’s never felt like this before. Could relationships really be this easy?
INT. CHANDLER’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Turning Point: It’s clear that although they were once involved, the romance between the Protagonist and Chandler has died. She drives home feeling alone.
Act 2:
FLASHBACK – INT. PROTAGONIST’S HIGH SCHOOL – DAY
We get to see our main character struggling to fit in with her classmates. Though she gets along with most of her class, she never feels like she belongs. She is bullied by an older girl, Katrina, in regards to Chandler. Protagonist cries in the bathroom while her friend consoles her.
INT. AT A PARTY – NIGHT
Reaction: Our Protagonist is shy and sticks close to her girlfriends. She is eventually introduced to Chandler, who takes a liking to her. She is awkward in receiving his advances and compliments, as she is not used to this kind of attention.
INT. CHANDLER’S HOUSE – NIGHT
The Plan: Protagonist and Chandler begin spending time together, starting with a party at his house. We see a jealous Katrina in attendance, but she does not speak to our Protagonist. Chandler and Protagonist hang out frequently, but their romance remains innocent. She is enjoying their youthful romance.
INT. AT A PARTY – NIGHT
Turning Point 2: There is a birthday party for Chandler’s roommate. He tells the Protagonist how much he likes her. Later they get into a fight and he screams at her. The next day he swears he doesn’t remember the fight, but she can’t forget the horrible things he said. She decides to walk away from the situation.
Act 3:
INT. STATE FINALS – NIGHT
Rethink Everything: Protagonist is away for the weekend with her school team. She watches how well her teammate’s boyfriend treats her, and she starts to realize this relationship is not benefitting her. She feels more stressed than happy. It is time to make a change.
INT. AT A PARTY – NIGHT
New Plan: She hangs out with another guy who is interested in her, and everything is light and carefree. She starts to comprehend that things with Chandler are not meant to be. She is more independent than she was when she met him.
INT. CHANDLER’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Turning Point: Protagonist is at Chandler’s house with some friends and she sees a girl flirting hard with him. While he doesn’t welcome the attention, he doesn’t necessarily shut her down, either. Protagonist is ready to end things; she knows she deserves better.
Act 4:
INT. PROTAGONIST’S BEDROOM – AFTERNOON
Climax: The Antagonist is quite taken with the Protagonist and calls to ask her out. They speak on the phone for awhile, but she politely declines his request with Chandler in mind. She notices how much easier it is to carry on a conversation with the Antagonist than Chandler; a sign that their relationship is not what she once thought it was.
INT. CAR RIDE – NIGHT
Turning Point: Mutual friend tells Protagonist that Chandler slept with another girl. Our Protagonist spends the night crying, but her sorrow quickly turns to anger.
INT. PROTAGONIST’S HIGH SCHOOL – DAY
Resolution: Katrina comes at our Protagonist again, and she ignores her. She is fed up with not feeling good enough and she decides to get her own revenge.
INT. PROTAGONIST’S HOUSE – AFTERNOON
Turning Point: Humiliated and angry, the Protagonist calls the Antagonist and accepts his offer for a date. She realizes she now has the upper hand and she likes the way it feels.
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Lora’s High Speed Beat Sheet
What I learned doing this assignment is that I’m struggling with this format a bit because my script is based on a multi-season, episodic television show, not a movie. I have emailed the instructor for help with this matter.
Act 1:
INT. HERO’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Opening: Protagonist is near-unconscious in the shower. Blood washes down the drain. A collage of scenes flash behind her closed eyes. What led to this event?
INT. LOCAL BAR – NIGHT
Protagonist is the bartender, exchanging drinks for a living wage and tips. She hops on stage to sing with the band. The regular bar patrons adore her. She has come so far since being a nerd in high school. The Antagonist walks in and takes her breath away. It’s clear they know each other. Dialogue is exchanged; there is hurt and tension between them. How did they get here?
FLASHBACK – EXT. OUTSIDE A FRIEND’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Transformational Event: She meets friends at the designated location. They exchange hugs and drinks are handed out. The Antagonist walks out of the house, they are introduced and smile at each other. They all get in the car and roadtrip to a party.
EXT. OUTSIDE A PARTY – NIGHT
Inciting Incident: While being hit on by the party host, the Antagonist becomes annoyed and forces his entourage to leave. On the drive home, he spends his time making the Protagonist laugh and he kisses her.
INT. CHANDLER’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Turning Point: It’s clear that although they were once involved, the romance between the Protagonist and Chandler has died. She drives home feeling alone.
Act 2:
FLASHBACK – INT. PROTAGONIST’S HIGH SCHOOL – DAY
We get to see our main character struggling to fit in with her classmates. Though she gets along with most of her class, she never feels like she belongs. She is bullied by an older girl, Katrina, in regards to Chandler. Protagonist cries in the bathroom while her friend consoles her.
INT. AT A PARTY – NIGHT
Reaction: Our Protagonist is shy and sticks close to her girlfriends. She is eventually introduced to Chandler, who takes a liking to her. She is awkward in receiving his advances and compliments, as she is not used to this kind of attention.
INT. CHANDLER’S HOUSE – NIGHT
The Plan: Protagonist and Chandler begin spending time together, starting with a party at his house. We see a jealous Katrina in attendance, but she does not speak to our Protagonist. Chandler and Protagonist hang out frequently, but their romance remains innocent.
INT. AT A PARTY – NIGHT
Turning Point 2: There is a birthday party for Chandler’s roommate. He tells the Protagonist how much he likes her. Later they get into a fight and he screams at her. The next day he swears he doesn’t remember the fight, but she can’t forget the horrible things he said.
Act 3:
INT. STATE FINALS – NIGHT
Rethink Everything: Protagonist is away for the weekend with her school team. She watches how well her teammate’s boyfriend treats her, and she starts to realize this relationship is not benefitting her. She feels more stressed than happy.
INT. AT A PARTY – NIGHT
New Plan: She hangs out with another guy who is interested in her, and everything is light and carefree. She starts to comprehend that things with Chandler are not meant to be.
INT. CHANDLER’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Turning Point: Protagonist is at Chandler’s house with some friends and she sees a girl flirting hard with him. While he doesn’t welcome the attention, he doesn’t necessarily shut her down, either.
Act 4:
INT. PROTAGONIST’S BEDROOM – AFTERNOON
Climax: Antagonist calls her to ask her out. She politely declines with Chandler in mind.
INT. CAR RIDE – NIGHT
Turning Point: Mutual friend tells our Protagonist that Chandler slept with another girl.
INT. PROTAGONIST’S HIGH SCHOOL – DAY
Resolution: Katrina comes at our Protagonist again, and she ignores her. She is fed up of not feeling good enough and she decides to get her own revenge.
INT. PROTAGONIST’S HOUSE – AFTERNOON
Turning Point: Humiliated and angry, the Protagonist calls the Antagonist and accepts his offer for a date.
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Lora’s Transformational Events
What I learned doing this assignment is there are many ways to transform your character physically, mentally and emotionally.
Internal Journey: Trying not to
lose herself in heartbreak. Needs to learn that not everyone is in her
life forever; some are there just to teach a lesson or as a temporary
placeholder.
External Journey: She will
learn her own strength, even when she thinks she has none.Old Ways: Naïve, people-pleaser, will take what she can get.
New Ways: Jaded, independent, strong, knows her worth.
Changes that need to happen for character to transform from old ways to new ways:
1. Realize her own self-worth.
2. Know what she wants.
3. Stop being a people pleaser.
4. Stand up for herself and demand to be treated fairly.
5. Walk away from toxic people.
6. Learn to be independent and stand on her own.
7. Surround herself with good people.
8. Not settle.
Dramatic Events or Tests: Finding a worthy ally that helps open her eyes, So many different kinds and levels of betrayal that she goes through from friends and lovers, surviving her darkness moment alone, learning to be independent and stand on her own.
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Lora Bachman 4 Act Transformational Structure
“What I learned doing this assignment is I know where the story is headed, even if I don’t have all the specifics ironed out yet.
Create a first draft of your 4 Act Transformational Structure.
1. Give us the following:
Concept – Our Protagonist is
searching for her soul mate and finds out first hand just how hard and
demoralizing the modern world of dating is.Main Conflict – Realizing her
self-worth and trying not to get lost in toxic and abusive relationships.Old Ways – Naïve,
people-pleaser, will take what she can get.New Ways – Jaded, independent, strong,
knows her worth.2. Fill in each of these with the answers you have right now.
Act 1:
Opening – I’m thinking the
opening should be a flash forward to the most intense/tragic moment of the
season, then it will go back to present day and introduce the main
character in her normal, everyday setting.Inciting Incident – She meets
the person she believes might be her soul mate, and she falls head over
heels.Turning Point – She has decided
she will do whatever it takes to make this relationship work.Act 2:
New plan – After several
incidents in this relationship, she starts to question if this person is
who she is meant to be with – or if she even knows him at all.Plan in action – She struggles
with her own self-worth, and the situation she has gotten herself in. She
tries to leave, but is trapped. She looks to her close circle for help.Midpoint Turning Point – She starts
weeding out friends, realizes she can’t trust anyone and takes a more
independent stance.Act 3:
Rethink everything – She
questions who she is and what she brings to the table. Is this
relationship the problem? Or is she the problem?New plan – She tries to date other people and see what else is out there, but she is drawn back into the relationship in question.
Turning Point: Huge failure /
Major shift – She is left to suffer her darkest moment alone.Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of
the conflict – He blindsides her by making a major decision and gives her
no choice but to fight or take flight.Resolution – She has to learn
to pick herself up and carry on even though she feels worthless and
destroyed. -
Lesson 4: Character Interviews
What I learned doing this assignment is sometimes the answers that come from these questions surprise you. Letting the responses flow without thinking too much about them seems to be the most natural way to discover your characters.
QUESTIONS FOR YOUR PROTAGONIST
Tell
me about yourself. I’m
a girl from a small town who believes the best in people and am looking
for my soul mate. <div>Why
do you think you were called to this journey? Why you? I have an interesting journey
ahead of me and I’m not afraid to face challenges head on.You
are up against <the Antagonist>. What is it about them that makes
this journey even more difficult for you? I love him and want to be on
the same team, but he enjoys making things difficult.In
order to survive or accomplish this, you are going to have to step way
outside of your box. What changes do you expect to make and which of them
will be the most difficult?
My biggest challenge is learning to get out of my own head, to see people
and things as who they really are and not who I want them to be.What
habits or ways of thinking do you think will be the most difficult to let
go of? I need to learn that not
everyone is in your life forever; some are only here to teach you a lesson
or as a temporary placeholder.What
fears, insecurities and wounds have held you back? I’ve been bullied a lot; it’s
always made me feel as if I’m not good enough. Maybe I’m not worthy of
love or a healthy relationship.What
skills, background or expertise makes you well-suited to face this
conflict or antagonist?
I have a resilient spirit, I’m honest, trust-worthy and I continue to get
back up no matter how many times I fall.
What
are you hiding from the other characters? What don’t you want them to
know? I never want them to know how
badly I’m hurting or how broken I am under the surface.What
do you think of <the Antagonist>?
I think he could be a great life partner if he’d get his head out of his
ass.Tell
me your side of this whole conflict / story. We met, we fell in love, but
we’re young – is there more out there to life or is this it?What
does it do for your life is you succeed here? I can stop looking for my
other half and focus my attention into building my empire with my partner.QUESTIONS FOR YOUR ANTAGONIST
Tell
me about yourself.
I’m a young guy who still has a lot of the world left to see and
experience. </div><div>Having
to do with this journey, what are your strengths and weaknesses? I’m a loner – no one knows the
real me. I can shrug off hurt, but I’ve got a quick temper. Sometimes it
gets the best of me.Why
are you committed to making the Protagonist fail? Or for a relationship
movie, why are you committed to making them change? I’m not trying to make anyone
change, or let them change me. Take it or leave it.What
do you get out of winning this fight / succeeding in your plan / taking
down your competition?
Bragging rights. I’m stubborn. No one is going to tell me what to do or
change me.What
drives you toward your mission / agenda, even in the face of danger, ruin,
or death? I crave
the approval of my friends more than anything.What
secrets must you keep to succeed? What other secrets do you keep out of
fear / insecurity?
I over-compensate arrogance to cover my insecurities. I love her, but I don’t
feel worthy of her. It’s easier to sabotage the relationship than
eventually watch her leave.Compared
to other people like you, what makes you special? My laid-back attitude. I don’t
let things get to me.What
do you think of <the Protagonist>?
I love her, but I’ve never been in a serious relationship before. I’m not
ready to settle down.Tell
me your side of this whole conflict / story. We’re dating, but I don’t know
why she picked me. Surely she could do better?My antagonist is more stubborn than I originally made him out to be. My protagonist is about to get her world turned upside down and she doesn’t even know it.
</div>
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Lora Bachman
“I agree to the terms of this release form.”GROUP RELEASE FORM FOR “THE 30 DAY SCREENPLAY”
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, communications, lessons, and models of the 30 Day Screenplay confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, communications, lessons, and models of the 30 Day Screenplay available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
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Lora’s Character Profiles – Part 2
What I learned doing this assignment is there are many levels to a character, and some of the traits aren’t clear cut. Human nature is a complicated thing; good intentions don’t always lead to pure actions.
PROTAGONIST:
Role in the story: Protagonist,
Fighter, Romantic. <div>Age range and Description: Late
teens/early 20s. Tall, dark hair, blue eyes, fit build.Internal Journey: Trying not to
lose herself in heartbreak.External Journey: She will
learn her own strength, even when she thinks she has none.Motivation: Wanting to find
true love.
Wound: Never feeling like she’s
good enough.Mission/Agenda: Agenda is to
have her happily ever after.
Secret: She’s more broken than
you think.What makes them special? A
resilient spirit; not capable of giving up.ANTAGONIST:
Role in the story: Villain. </div><div>
Age range and Description: This
villain changes as the story goes because there are several. All are in
their early 20s.Internal Journey: Starting out
as Prince Charming in the beginning; morphing into the villain at the end
of the relationship.External Journey: Realizing
what they lost too late.Motivation: Wanting quantity,
not quality mates.Wound: Not feeling worthy of
love; intentionally sabotaging a good relationship.Mission/Agenda:
Secret: Deep insecurity masked
by arrogance.What makes them
special? Each villain has their own quirks; to be developed further later.PROTAGONIST:
What
draws us to this character? Her resilient spirit. </div><div>Traits:
Pure hearted, kind, empathetic, honest.Subtext:
Fights her darkest battles alone.Flaw:
Overlooks the bad to see the good in people.Values:
Loyalty, honesty, kindness.Irony:
Her willingness to love the wrong people leaves no room for the right
people to enter her life.What
makes this the right character for this role? Her good intentions make the
audience cheer for her to win.ANTAGONIST:
What
draws us to this character? He’s everything you’ve ever wanted, yet you
know he’s not good for you. </div>Traits:
Sweet, loving, angry, sneaky.Subtext:
Makes up lies, tells only fractions of the truth.Flaw:
He doesn’t know how to love.Values:
Approval of his friends.Irony:
He loves her but doesn’t know how to show it, so he chases her away
instead.What
makes this the right character for this role? You fall in love with him
when you see his sweet side and he makes you mad when he messes up. You
still want him to redeem himself before the end. -
Lora’s Character Profiles Part 1
What I learned doing this assignment is it’s a struggle trying to be specific enough to create the vision I see while still being vague enough to give myself room to change things later. The concept I have for this screenplay is a television show with several seasons; the Antagonist will be different each season.
My Protagonist is a Fighter. She refuses to give up, even when all the odds are stacked against her. She rises from the ashes every time.
My Antagonist is a villain. They try to break the Protagonist emotionally and mentally.
Supporting characters: Best friends, love interests.
Minor roles: Coworkers, flings
Background characters: Party attendees, bar patrons
The genre is Drama.
LEAD CHARACTER PROFILES:
Protagonist:
Role in the story: Fighter, Romantic.
Age range and Description: Late teens/early 20s. Tall, dark hair, blue eyes, fit build.
Internal Journey: Trying not to lose herself in heartbreak.
External Journey: She will learn her own strength, even when she thinks she has none.
Motivation: Wanting to find true love.
Wound: Never feeling like she’s good enough.
Mission/Agenda: Agenda is to have her happily ever after.
Secret: She’s more broken than you think.
What makes them special? A resilient spirit; not capable of giving up.
Antagonist:
Role in the story: Villain.
Age range and Description: This villain changes as the story goes because there are several. All are in their early 20s.
Internal Journey: Starting out as Prince Charming in the beginning; morphing into the villain at the end of the relationship.
External Journey: Realizing what they lost too late.
Motivation: Wanting quantity, not quality mates.
Wound: Not feeling worthy of love; intentionally sabotaging a good relationship.
Mission/Agenda:
Secret: Deep insecurity masked by arrogance.
What makes them special? Each villain has their own quirks; to be developed further later.
-
Lora’s Transformational Journey
What I learned doing this assignment is that it is difficult to pull specific qualities out of thin air. Filling in the blanks was a lot harder than I anticipated, and I imagine these answers will change and be added to as I get further into this process.
My hero’s name is Phoenix, a kind-hearted romantic who finds the dating world to be hopeless and tragic.
Internal Journey: She will
learn how to overcome heartbreak and not lose herself in despair.
External Journey: She will get
really good at walking away from things not meant for her.Old Ways: Naïve,
people-pleaser, will take what she can get.New Ways: Jaded, strong, knows
her worth. -
Hello!
My name is Lora and I’m excited to take this class!
This is my first time writing a script, but I have finished the book this script will be based off of.
I hope to learn the formatting techniques and tricks of the trade to make my script stand out.
I am also a singer/song-writer and have done some minor acting. I love everything about the creative side of the entertainment industry.
It’s time to get to work!
~L