
Tasha Espinoza
Forum Replies Created
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Tashaâs Marketing Plan
What I learned doing this assignment is donât panic. If I dedicate myself to the strategies and keep at it, I will succeed, but itâs all up to me. However, first and foremost, make sure the writing can back up any success I have marketing myself. Take the time to learn the writing skills I need to make me confident in my assignments.
Assignment:
1. Write your email request for writing assignments in your own words.
Subject line: About âTalk to Meâ
Dear Kristina Creyton,
I noticed your dedication to horror films, a genre I specialize in for screenwriting.
If you need someone for a writing assignment, I am currently available. Whether it’s rewriting a screenplay, adapting a book, or crafting a screenplay from your concept, I’m prepared to assist.
I’d be more than happy to provide you with a writing sample if you would like to assess the quality of my work.
Please feel free to reach out if you have any specific needs or inquiries.
Sincerely,
T. Espinoza
Phone
Email
LinkedIn Profile
2. Create a plan for marketing yourself. Give us the first three things you are going to do when you are ready to start marketing.
MARKETING CAMPAIGN #2: Marketing to Producers
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Elevate my writing
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Take SWU AI class, genre class, and rewrite class
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Write several horror scripts
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Elevate and rewrite the horror scripts until they are the best they can be
Test my screenplays out in competition, rewriting to get recommends when necessary
Send out Quality Query Letters to mid-level producers of the horror genre
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Tashaâs Plan for Increasing Perceived Value
What I learned doing this assignment isâŠ
1. What is your speciality? Describe your expertise in that speciality in one or two sentences.
I specialize in the horror genre with a focus on supernatural stories.
2. How many producers do you have in your LinkedIn Network?
0
3. Looking at the list above titled âIncreasing Your Perceived Value,â please tell us your plan for increasing your value in these three time frames:
A. Today
I will rework my LinkedIn page to deliver the message that Iâm a professional by emphasizing my expertise in the horror genre. I will work on building my network of horror producers by sending requests to connect to 20 2nd tier producers.
B. In the next 30 days
I will complete the horror SWU class to Increase expertise in my speciality genre.
I will complete the AI SWU class to increase my skill set using AI to write. I will elevate my writing sample using the methods learned in the horror SWU class.
C. In the next 6 months
I will land several writing assignments. I will see each writing assignment through to production and get the IMDB credits. I will get recommendations from other producers by finishing writing assignments, placing in screenwriting competitions and pitching to producers. I will have deals happening by continuing to grow my network and credibility.
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Tasha is a Note Taking Professional!
What I learned is how fun it is to play around with the various elements of a story to come up with something new that still retains the core concept.
1. Tell us the logline of your treatment from the last assignment.
Logline for âDating with Demonsâ:
A woman who was once exorcised has to navigate the world of dating as she tries to find the one guy who isn’t afraid of her and her possessive other half.
2. Tell us how you would honor each of the following requests:
Cut the budget in half.
The current budget for this script is $4 million. To cut it to $2 million, I would:
1) reduce the locations from 11 to 5 (move both restaurant scenes to Bethanyâs apartment, cut group home location, move support group scene to the church, move Chase scene to cafe, move all of Bethanyâs training sequences in the park to the spiritual center),
2) cut the secondary storyline of the youth home (reduces the characters, locations, dialogue),
3) cut the script from 130 to 90 pages
Write it for a different audience (quadrant).
The current quadrant for the script is females over 25. If I changed that to target a quadrant of females under 25 then I would put Bethany in high school and I would make the events of her past possession a lot more recent, probably she would have been possessed in 8th or 9th grade and wants to start dating as a high school senior.
Double the conflict.
If Bethany is still in high school and her possession was recent, then all the guys at her school would know about it. She would have to find guys to date outside of her town, which means she would start dating online. Would Demon 23 have to step in and save her from the online creeps and trolls she will most likely encounter? Could this become more of a YA romance with Demon 23?
Change the sex and age of the lead character.
If Bethany was a guy (Benny) in high school then dating online could turn into a different type of bullying. Could still be a romance with Demon 23. If Benny was not in his 20s but in his 40s, it could become a 40 year old virgin scenario which would maybe make him even more desperate to shake the demon.
Change the genre.
If it was comedy, maybe Demon 23 could be like an odd couple with Benny. Demon 23 acts like a wingman for Benny, but Demon 23 is the reason Benny is a virgin. Heâs also Bennyâs best friend since everyone is scared of Benny due to his past possession. Hijinks ensue. They have a falling out. Benny allows Priest Anders to exorcise him again, but maybe realizes that he can live with Demon 23 and somehow find a path to love. Or maybe he and Demon 23 fall in love.
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Tashaâs Decreased Budget
What I learned doing this assignment is that understanding it from a producerâs standpoint makes it easy to change the elements of the script. Thinking about what it will take to make the concepts of the screenplay physical scenes is the key to understanding script changes. Many people donât understand what goes into producing, but if you ever produced a project, you understand that making budget decisions comes from necessity. They often make filmmakers more creative and the solutions that are implemented often make movies stronger.
1. Run through this list and tell us how many ways (at least five ways) you can decrease the budget on your High Budget screenplay and what changes you might make in the script to do that.
MAIN VARIABLES
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Number of Locations – I can reduce the number of locations from 11 to 6.
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Expensive locations – I can change the costco-like warehouse to a smaller store or kiosk.
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Number of characters – Cut all the kids from the youth home, cut the congregation
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Special effects – Cut the numbers and names that appear in the air – maybe just have them on the character (maybe they could be painted on)
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Number of pages – reduce the pages from 130 to 90
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Crowd scenes – remove the congregation scene, remove/reduce the employees in the breakroom scene to 1 or 2 (or none at all) – just have it be Chase and Bethany
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Stunts, Chase scenes, and Fight scenes – Cut Bethanyâs levitation, Cut Demon 23âs Levitation
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Special sets – n/a
SECONDARY VARIABLES
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Rights to music, brands, books, etc – n/a
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Explosions and Firearms – n/a
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Kids â shorter work days, tutor on the set – cut the foster kids
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Animals â need a wrangler, more time to shoot, Humane Society – n/a
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Weather â Rain, snow, wind, tornados – change the one rainy day scene to a day with regular weather
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Water and underwater scenes – n/a
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Night scenes – make all scenes happen in the day time
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Helicopters, aircraft, drone shots – n/a
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Green screen work – n/a
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Extensive Make-up – change Demon 23 to look more humanoid so FX makeup is not extensive
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Archival Footage – NA
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Anything else dangerous that increases preparation time and/or Insurance – Neck Cutting FX – have the symbol already on her so you donât have to rig it to look like the villain is carving into her with a knife
2. With a major scene that depends upon a âhigh budget variable,â take it through the process of finding another way to deliver on the dramatic goal.
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Tell us about the high budget item in your script that you are letting go of.
I think the high budget item would be the âfull houseâ at the chapel. That would greatly reduce the number of characters in that scene and cut down on the audition process, craft services, costumes, permits, holding area for extras, longer set-up and blocking time, etc. Also, if there are less people in the scene then there will be less demons fx since basically each character in the congregation is attacked by a demon in the original script.
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Ask, âWhat dramatic goal am I trying to accomplish with this scene?â
The dramatic goal is to show that Priest Anders can conjure demons and command them to possess people.
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Ask, âHow can I accomplish the dramatic goal without the expense?â
This threat could be demonstrated by Priest Anders sending a demon into the Archdiocese whom he invites to visit his church. Less people, same dramatic goal achieved.
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Subject: Tashaâs Rewrite of Dawn Greenfieldâs Treatment
What I learned doing this assignment is to clarify as much as possible. Clarity will be your best friend in the rewrite.
Producer Experience: I really enjoyed clarifying the details of my story with Dawn and seeing what resonated with her. It really confirmed certain choices and helped me to enhance others.
Writer Experience: Putting my treatment into a structure made it come alive as an actual movie I could see in my mindâs eye. It was interesting how the story changed once that happened and I was able to work on story logic.
Rewrite Experience: I really enjoyed working with Dawn to discover the sequences of the story and fill in the plot and character motivation. It was exciting to arrive at more of her vision and I became very invested in capturing her ideas.
Treatment:
Maude by Dawn Greenfield
Genre: Sci-fi Action
When Maude (60s) gleefully starts a bar brawl, she defies her appearance. Pushing the limits of her leather catsuit with a cigarette hanging from her frozen botoxed face, she effortlessly doles out punishment.
Observing from the sidelines, Toby (28) watches in awe and suddenly has a vision of a mysterious door. Intrigued, he jumps into the melee, an unexpected ally.
As the dust settles and most of the bar patrons lie defeated, Maude extends an offer to Toby, “First round’s on me.”
But her goodwill is short-lived when Toby reveals heâs been sent by The Agency to replace her.
Furious, Maude discovers that the enigmatic organization has decided to phase her out due to a curse she hasnât been able to break. With just 30 days to train her replacement, she’s determined to reverse the curse and save her job.
Challenge accepted.
Maude puts in extra effort to shine during her first assignment with Toby. Not only does she attain the objective, but she saves Toby from a few fatal rookie mistakes. She knows heâs competition, but her heroic nature prevails.
Toby, on the other hand, starts noticing a recurring vision of the mysterious door, which is tied to a growing desire to kiss Maude. Ignoring his disturbing feelings, he advocates for Maude’s reinstatement as his partner at The Agency. But despite Tobyâs report of Maudeâs excellent performance, The Agency doesnât want to retain an aging operative.
Maude is assigned her final mission.
She must rescue a wealthy man kidnapped for information about The Agency. Guided by Toby’s psychic link to the door, she locates him and saves him from his captors. When he reveals himself to be guardian of the door, Maude quickly inquires about its location. Out of gratitude, he discloses it to her.
Maude heads to the magic door with a determination Toby had never seen.
She explains that her rival, Cali, stole a powerful talisman from The Agency to enhance her powers as a witch. Maude caught her in the act and Cali cursed her before escaping to Trangaria. Maude has been looking for the door to Trangaria to lift the spell and recover the talisman before Cali can use it. She tells Toby to stay behind for his own protection.
But Toby wonât let Maude face Cali alone. Together they go through the door and enter Trangaria.
An unexpected battle with Cali ensues, nearly resulting in victory for Maude and Toby. Yet, Cali eludes them, clutching the talisman as she delves further into Trangaria. Aware of the need for reinforcements, Maude takes Toby back to Earth.
Disheartened by their failure to recover the talisman and reverse the curse, Maude’s spirits wane.
Toby asks Maude if she trusts him. Maude says she does. Putting that to the test, Toby asks her to close her eyes. With only a momentâs hesitation, she complies.
Toby kisses her and Maude transforms back to her youthful beauty.
Maude asks how he knew it would work and he said it was just a theory based on the fairy tales he heard as a boy. Since a witch cursed her, by fairy tale logic, a kiss would break the spell. Maude thanks him for seeing past the curse to her true nature and for not giving up on her.
Maude returns to The Agency triumphant in her original 28 year old form. The Agency fully reinstates her and makes Toby her partner. Their mission is to stop Cali and retrieve the talisman. With preparations underway, Maude and Toby get ready to return to Trangaria.
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Tashaâs Fantastic Treatment
What I learned doing this assignment is thinking of the treatment as sequences gives the story structure and fills it out. You can really work out interest techniques and business decisions easily in the shorter format.
Structure: 3 Act
Title: The Villa of Evil
Genre: Horror
Logline: When Darren and Jill spend the night in a haunted mansion, they expect to see the ghost of the Lady in Red, but instead, they discover a hoax perpetrated by a group of psychotic transients determined to keep the mansion all to themselves.
Treatment – Draft 2:
A frantic young mother, in her early 20s, rushes down the grand staircase of a mansion, her two children (8 and 10) in tow. Her husband, a psychotic 42-year-old, wields a hatchet, hot on their heels. She bravely faces him, urging her children to escape. They flee, leaving her to confront her husband. He gains the upper hand, and blood spills as he hacks into her. As her children reach the front door, they look back at the staircase and the last thing they see is their mother’s lifeless, bloody body hurtling towards them.
Darren, 22, arrives late to a dinner party hosted by his wealthy 89-year-old grandfather, Payne Montgomery. He’s surprised to find that the only other guest is Clifton, 23, his cousin and rival for Payneâs affection. As Payne leads them on a tour of his palatial mansion decorated with the otherworldly artifacts from his travels, he explains that he has never actually experienced anything paranormal firsthand. He says that he has recently become captivated by the tale of the Lady in Red, a young mother hacked to death by her wealthy older husband sometime in the 17th century. She’s rumored to haunt her husband’s mansion. Payne offers his fortune to whoever provides proof of this elusive ghost. However, if either grandson fails, he will donate his fortune to charity.
With no leads, Darren approaches Clifton, hoping to team up and share the inheritance. But Clifton, whoâs father is comfortably well off, is already working with an internet famous ghost hunting team. Furthermore, he shocks Darren by revealing that Darren’s ex and talented researcher, Jill, is on his team. Darren believes that Jill still has a thing for him and he puts on the charm to get info about the Lady in Red. Disgusted, Jill leaves her desk. With her computer unattended, Darren is able to login using his birthday as the password. He searches her files and discovers an address associated with the Lady in Red.
In the dead of night, Darren sneaks into the location from Jill’s files. He explores the building, which feels more like a mental hospital than a mansion. Doubt creeps in; is this really the right place? On the roof, he encounters a solitary homeless man. They exchange pleasantries, and then, chillingly, the old man asks Darren to peel off his face. Darren flees but gets arrested by police who were tipped off about a trespasser.
Jill bails Darren out because she feels guilty about her part in the set-up, despite not knowing that Clifton had planned to call the police. She offers to tell Darren the real location of the Lady in Red in exchange for a finderâs fee and bail reimbursement. Darren agrees, but only if she will come with him and bring her equipment to prove he can trust her. Against her better judgment, she agrees. Deep in the remote Appalachian mountains, the Villa di Cataldi awaits, abandoned and devoid of security.
In the eerie darkness of the Villa, Jill and Darren set up their ghost-hunting gear at the grand staircase, but a massive equipment failure plunges them into darkness. Darren makes his way towards Jillâs hazy figure in the inky void, but the voice that calls his name isnât hers. Panicked, he stumbles into the real Jill bleeding from a deep arm gash. She reveals they’re not alone when a thick, red mist curls into a hooded figure on the landing. They turn to flee, but are confronted by the shrieking hooded figure. Jill charges at it, crashing through a screen. She stands up and a projection of the hooded figure plays on her body, turning her red. The foyer lights up as menacing figures with candles surround them. One holds a hatchet. Darren says they messed up coming to the Villa. Jill faints from blood loss.
Cornered, Darren drags Jill into the kitchen and barricades the door. He bandages her arm and she wakes up. They discover advanced jamming equipment and recognize that their enemies live there. Their only escape is a boarded-up back door. They pry boards from the door but notice that the back stairs are gone, leaving a dangerous drop. Jill urges Darren to go through because she is unable to make the leap safely without his help on the other side. He is halfway through the hole, legs first, when the sinister group bursts in and seizes Jill. Despite his efforts to hold onto her, her arm starts to bleed and she slips from his grasp. The last thing he sees before he drops to the ground is the hatchet-wielding psycho brutally attacking Jill, turning her red from her own blood.
Pursued by the group, Darren flees through the mountains. A misstep sends him tumbling down a steep hill. He disappears into the underbrush. The group searches for him until daylight, but their efforts prove fruitless and they return to the villa. Two days later, Darren regains consciousness in a narrow gully and escapes the mountains. Disillusioned, he finds Clifton and tells him he saw âher,â but failed to get proof. Once again, he offers to share the fortune in exchange for revealing the location. Clifton smiles big. Sure, he agrees. Darren tells him the fortune is as good as theirs if Clifton takes Papa Payne to the Villa di Cataldi where the Lady in Red waits.
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Tasha’s Synopsis for Producer Interview
Title: Ghost Hunt or The Villa of Evil
Genre: Horror
Logline:
When Darren and Jill spend the night in a haunted Italian mansion, they expect to see the ghost of the Lady in Red, but instead, they discover a hoax perpetrated by a group of psychotic transients determined to keep the mansion all to themselves.
Synopsis:
DARREN (22), clever but unmotivated, is invited to a dinner party thrown by his rich grandfather, Payne Montgomery. Upon arriving, Darren is surprised to learn that he is one of only two guests invited to the party. The other guest arrives late. To Darrenâs annoyance, itâs CLIFTON (23), Darrenâs pompous cousin and rival to Payneâs grandfatherly affection.
During the course of the âpartyâ, Payne takes them on a tour of his mansion where he points out many artifacts and portraits that pertain to the supernatural. He talks of his travels and of all the money he has spent in pursuit of his one true desire: to see a ghost. Despite traveling to many locations famous for paranormal activity, he has never uncovered any tangible evidence that ghosts exist. And now that his life is coming to an end, he has one chance left. He tells Clifton and Darren that he will bequeath his entire fortune to the first person that can bring him hard evidence of the supernatural, but barring no evidence, his fortune will be donated to his favorite charity.
Darren spends all his time researching and talking to experts. He becomes obsessed and loses his job, but to no avail. He continues to fail and not find any concrete evidence. Clifton, on the other hand, works with a famous ghost hunting team that has its own reality TV show. Everyday, it seems like heâs getting closer and closer.
Finally, Darren gets a break. An online forum directs him to a little known spot with huge paranormal activity potential. Darren knows he must visit Villa Cataldi to document an appearance of the Lady in Red. And thereâs only one person he wants to take with him to ensure his success.
He pays a visit to JILL (22), his ex-girlfriend and an AV technician for a brand name hotel and asks her to help him. Jill is a single mother who could use the cash Darren promises her once he inherits his grandpaâs fortune, so she agrees to help him. Sheâs also still hung up on him.
At night, Darren and Jill break into the abandoned Villa Cataldi and set up their equipment in the foyer at the foot of the grand staircase where it is rumored the Red Lady often appears . Right away, things start to go awry. After a massive equipment failure, they are left in pitch black darkness with only their phones and two flashlights for light. Jill pulls up an EV app on her phone as a back-up but it needs cellular data to operate. Jill hands Darren the phone and tells him to find a signal.
The two are separated in the dark and Jill goes temporarily missing. Darren sees a dark hazy figure that calls his name but it isnât Jillâs voice. He runs from it until he collides with the real Jill who is bleeding from the arm. She says they arenât alone.
Just then, thick, red, curling mist gathers on the landing and forms a hooded figure. Jill and Darren turn to run and the Hooded figure stands before them, shrieking. Her exposed face is gnarled and ghastly. Darren backs away in horror, but Jill charges towards the apparition ready to fight and crashes through a screen. Darren stops running. Jill stands up and a projection of the Hooded Figure plays on her body. The Hooded Figure isnât real. As they investigate the destroyed screen, the foyer lights from candles held by a dozen or so people who leer at them menacingly. One large man holds a hatchet. Darren tells Jill that he thinks they messed up coming to the Villa. Jill agrees and then passes out.
As the group slowly closes in, Darren drags Jill into another room, locking the door behind them. He realizes they are in the kitchen and their only escape is a boarded-up back door to the kitchen. He looks for something to bandage Jillâs arm with and notices the kitchen looks lived in. Jill comes too and Darren tells her that not only are they outnumbered, but the people, including the hatchet-wielding guy, live there. The need to act fast.
With some effort, Jill and Darren pry off a few boards and they create a hole. Darren reaches inside and heâs able to open the door. They look through the hole and notice that the back stairs leading to the door are gone and itâs a big drop to the ground. Jill tells Darren to go through first because she doesnât think her body will be able to take the drop without him catching her on the other end.
He puts both legs through the hole and rotates to his stomach when he sees the hooded people burst through the kitchen. They grab Jill, but Darren is able to hold onto Jillâs injured arm. Painfully, he uses his legs to try and scramble back through the window as he tries desperately to hang onto Jill, but the bandage comes loose and her arm starts to bleed. The blood causes her to slip out of Darrenâs hands. As a reflex, Darren braces himself against the boards so he doesnât fall through the hole, but all that affords him is a view of Jill being swallowed up by the crowd.
The last thing he sees before he drops to the ground is the hatchet-wielding psycho raising his hatchet and bringing it down fast and hard on Jill turning her red from her own blood.
Darren escapes. Disillusioned, he finds Clifton, who still hasnât found any proof of the supernatural. He tells him the fortune is as good as his if he takes Papa Payne to Villa Cataldi where the Red Lady waits.
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Tasha’s Producer Interview Experience
Thank you to Dawn Greenfield for being an excellent partner on this assignment. I had fun and learned a lot!
What I learned doing this assignment is to listen and make sure you don’t interrupt the producer while they are following a thought through to the end because it will lead you to the answers that flesh out the story. Listen with grace and intension and always work collaboratively towards clarity.
Producer Experience:
I really enjoyed collaborating with the writer and uncovering different facets of the story. I was really happy to have the writer’s questions guide me because it made the whole process of finding the story very easy.
Writer Experience:
I was nervous at first, but I made sure to review the questions and Dawn’s synopsis, so I could get as clear as possible on the producer’s vision. I don’t think I would have done a very good job if I didn’t have Hal’s interview questions.
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Tashaâs Horror Writing Sample
What I learned from this assignment: Stack the deck with your writing sample. Take all the best bits and figure out how to present them in a way that makes sense and packs a punch. You can always put everything back where it belongs later.
ASSIGNMENT 1: 10 Page Writing Sample
Title: Dating with Demons
This is the opening to Dating with Demons, which is a horror script. The ten page sample takes you through to the inciting incident.
WRITING SAMPLE:
INT. BETHANYâS CHILDHOOD BEDROOM – DAY
A modest girlâs room. Minimal furniture.
Bouquets of dead flowers are everywhere with tags that READ: âGet well soonâ, âHope you feel betterâ, âGarland High misses you.â
BETHANY, an innocent, blond schoolgirl of 16, writhes on her bed. Sweat-dampened hair matted to her forehead.
Weakly, she looks up from her torment.
BETHANY
What happened to all the pretty flowers?
FATHER PTOLEMY, 72, wizened and drawn from grueling years as a priest, charges forward and douses Bethany with holy water.
She jerks and screams. Her body contorts painfully and a guttural, warning growl groans out of her.
Her face becomes haggard, dark and ghastly.
DEMON 23
(talking through Bethany)
I will rip her from head to sternum before I ever give her up.
Rip marks form all over Bethanyâs skin.
FRANK, Bethanyâs father, 37, grizzled and burly, recoils from his daughter and eyes the door.
FATHER PTOLEMY
(to Frank)
Hold your daughter down, Frank!
(to Deacon Anders)
Read Psalm 91!
DEACON ANDERS, 25, a priest in training, holds an open Bible in his hands. Eyes wide in horror, slight frame quivering, he is too paralyzed by fear to help.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Damn it Anders! Help me, or sheâll die!
Bethanyâs body breaks free from Father Ptolemy and Frank. She rolls forward to the foot of the bed as if propped up by an unseen force.
Glaring into Deacon Andersâs eyes, her face breaks into a depraved smile.
DEMON 23
(talking through Bethany)
The knife burns in your pocket just as it burned in your motherâs hands. Itâs the only way to join her.
Deacon Anders drops the Bible and shrinks back desperately until heâs pressed up tight against the wall.
Bethany thrusts out her hand and Deacon Anders is pulled across the room, his tiptoes SCRAPING the floor. Bethanyâs death grip locks around his neck.
DEMON 23
(talking through Bethany)
Nowhere is safe.
She cackles wickedly and Frank scurries out of the room.
Deacon Anders struggles to breathe.
Father Ptolemy pries Bethany off of Deacon Anders, who crumples to the floor.
FATHER PTOLEMY
(at the door)
Frank!
Deacon Anders, cringing on the floor, withdraws a knife from his pocket. Bethany taunts him with a flick of her snake-like tongue.
Deacon Anders screams and bounds towards Bethany.
DEACON ANDERS
Die!
He hoists his blade to deliver a fatal strike.
FATHER PTOLEMY
No!
Father Ptolemy turns and blocks Deacon Andersâs blow. They crash against a wall, locked in physical battle.
Bethanyâs evil yellow eyes roll up with effort towards her window.
The sunshine streams through it.
Arduously, Bethany forces out her own ragged voice.
BETHANY
I am light…
Her voice grows louder as she repeats the phrase.
BETHANY
I am light…I am light…
Her eyes revert back to her own innocent and dismayed eyes.
Unnoticed by Father Ptolemy and Deacon Anders, Bethany shakily retrieves the Bible from the floor.
She flips the book open to Psalm 91 and slowly reads it.
Father Ptolemy and Deacon Anders stop fighting and look over.
DEMON 23
(speaking through Bethany)
This cannot save you.
Bethany is violently hurled into the headboard of her bed. She crashes down on the mattress still clinging to the Bible.
Father Ptolemy rushes to her and cradles her in his arms.
Her finger, broken and bleeding, holds the place of Psalm 91 like a battered bookmark.
Father Ptolemy reads the psalm out loud.
Bethany joins him.
Together, their voices grow more determined.
Bethany levitates out of Father Ptolemyâs arms. He falters.
BETHANY
Keep reading!
Father Ptolemy reads the passage over again.
Airborne, Bethany recites the Lordâs Prayer.
Deacon Anders watches as Bethany expels a shadowy essences from her body in one loud, painful scream.
She falls back on the bed.
Vibrant roses bloom on all the dead bouquets.
Bethany slumbers. A peaceful glow baths her face.
Frank enters the room.
FRANK
Is it over?
Father Ptolemy gives him a tired nod.
FRANK
(Looking at all the roses)
Probably the last time sheâll get any flowers. Who would want her after this?
Father Ptolemy collects his hat. Deacon Anders scrambles over to him and hands him his coat.
DEACON ANDERS
I deeply apologize. I will never fail you again.
Father Ptolemy yanks the coat away from Deacon Anders.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Coward.
FRANK
Where are you going?
FATHER PTOLEMY
Home.
FRANK
You canât just leave her.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Donât worry, I will be back to check on her.
FRANK
No, I mean you canât just leave her here.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Pardon?
FRANK
We have children.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Sheâs your daughter.
FRANK
No sir, not after what I saw. I donât know what she is.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Sheâs an innocent girl who had the strength to save her own life. Sheâs nothing to fear.
FRANK
If you donât take her Father, Iâll kill her. I donât care if I go to the chair.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Or if you damn your soul?
FRANK
Killing that thing would be Godâs work.
Father Ptolemy studies Frankâs eyes and sees no love for Bethany there.
FATHER PTOLEMY
(to Deacon Anders)
Collect the girl.
DEACON ANDERS
Father?
FATHER PTOLEMY
She needs our protection.
Deacon Anders hesitates to touch Bethany.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Hurry up!
Deacon Anders rouses Bethany who is very groggy and gets her to her feet.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Weâll be back for her things.
Disheartened, Father Ptolemy exits the room.
Helping Bethany walk, Deacon Anders stops short of the door to address Frank.
DEACON ANDERS
I will watch her closely. You have my word.
Bethany looks up.
BETHANY
Papa?
Frank steels his face and turns his back on her.
Bethany drops her head, weighed down by fatigue and sadness.
Deacon Anders warily guides her out of the room.
INT. CONFESSIONAL – DAY (INTERCUT BETWEEN THE LEFT AND RIGHT SIDES OF THE CONFESSIONAL AS NEEDED)
BETHANY, now 26, nervously taps a slightly scarred finger on her Bible as she sits in the confessional. Still blonde. Big smile. Beauty queen appeal under geek chic style.
The window slides open.
BETHANY
Forgive me Dea–Father for I have sinned. Itâs been 2 weeks since my last confession.
Father Deacon Anders, now 35, gray around the temples, looking older than his years, nods his head.
DEACON ANDERS
Confess my child.
BETHANY
I went on the dates even though I promised you I wouldnât.
DEACON ANDERS
Are you joking?
BETHANY
Iâm sorry Deacon–
DEACON ANDERS
Weâve been over this, Bethany. Given your past possession–
BETHANY
I know, you think itâs risky for me to date.
DEACON ANDERS
Itâs not a matter of opinion.
BETHANY
Are you sure? You keep warning me against, what? I donât know? Nothing has happened, except a string of truly terrible dates. Thatâs all.
DEACON ANDERS
You should at least let these young men know what theyâre getting themselves into.
BETHANY
Respectfully, I disagree.
DEACON ANDERS
I wish I could–if only I could tell you not to date as penance.
BETHANY
I just want to find love.
DEACON ANDERS
Alright. Alright. Weâll discuss this later. Are you sorry for committing the sin of lying?
BETHANY
For this and all sins, I am truly remorseful.
DEACON ANDERS
Great. Say ten Hail Marys and five Our Fathers. I absolve you of your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Iâll say the rest later, but I have to go.
BETHANY
Amen.
DEACON ANDERS
Go in peace.
BETHANY
Thanks be to God.
Deacon Anders shuts the confessional window.
INT. BETHANYâS APARTMENT – NIGHT
Bethany lets herself into her apartment.
She unloads her stuff at the entryway table and flips on a light.
Sifting through her mail, she automatically locks the door behind her and ambles across the open concept apartment.
She stops suddenly and her hand flies up to her neck.
Wincing, she rubs it as she surveys the small apartment.
One corner of the kitchen is obscured by an unnaturally opaque mass. She canât see anything through it.
BETHANY
Is someone there?
An object CLANGS to the ground startling her. She canât see what it is because the dark mass blocks it.
As she takes a step to the side to look around the mass, it moves. She jerks back, her breath catching in her throat.
CRASH! A kitchen shelf falls. Bethany yelps and jumps back as objects bounce out of the black mass.
Terrified, she cautiously watches the mass.
BETHANY
Demon 23?
Nothing.
She approaches it slowly until she stands directly in front of it.
The black mass swirls before her.
She holds her ground. A showdown with a shadow.
Before she can think twice, she juts her hand into the black mass and hits the light switch on the wall behind it.
The overhead light beams its ugly fluorescence down on the kitchen.
The black mass is gone.
Rattled, Bethany cleans up the mess.
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Bethany attempts to project confidence as she sits at an intimate table for two fiddling nervously with a menu. She looks the part with perfect hair and make-up and a sexy dress.
She puts the menu down and startles. BRAD, 26, typically a handsome Ken-doll type, stands before her worse for wear with a hollow expression and disheveled attire.
BETHANY
Brad?
BRAD
I canât have dinner with you.
BETHANY
And yet, youâre here.
BRAD
I canât explain it. I just–then I saw–after what I saw–oh God, Bethany! I had no idea.
BETHANY
What happened?
Bethany leaps up interrupting her own question as she blocks a levitating fork from spearing Brad in the temple. It lodges itself deeply in Bethanyâs hand and she shrieks.
The whole restaurant gapes at her in horror and she awkwardly covers her hand while backing away towards the bathroom.
BETHANY
Iâm so sorry, Brad. Iâll be right back. Please, please donât leave. I can explain this.
Bethany turns and runs to the bathroom.
INT. RESTAURANT BATHROOM – NIGHT
Bethany bursts into the restroom cradling her bleeding, skewered hand. She tugs at the fork and dry heaves.
A dainty GIGGLE comes from the only stall in the row of stalls with a closed door.
BETHANY
Hi…Could you help me? Iâm having a bit of trouble with my hand.
Bethany walks right up to the stall. A few drops of blood hit the tiled floor and the giggling stops.
BETHANY
Hello?
She stares at the door. There is no movement behind it.
BETHANY
Can you help me…
BOOM! The door busts open and Bethany is knocked across the room by a nebulous force. It pins her against the wall so aggressively, her cheek pancakes out against it.
She cries and squirms as she twists her face free from the otherworldly grip.
BETHANY
(struggling)
Our Father who art in Heaven–
Her face is smashed against the wall again.
In her panic, she defaults to a simple chant.
BETHANY
(whispering)
I am light. I am light. I am light.
The force lessens and she stealthily pulls out her phone. She finds the new age prayer she saved on it in seconds.
BETHANY
âI am the light/And the light is me/I am the light of the universal energy.â–
The unseen force tries to rip her phone out of her hand, but she holds onto it.
BETHANY
Fuck off! âLove, peace, protection surround me/For in the light I am power/And in my power, no dark thing can seize me!â
Abruptly, the supernatural activity stops and Bethany falls backward to the floor.
BETHANY
Are you still here?
All is quiet.
BETHANY
Iâm warning you! Stay away!
She scrambles to her feet and rushes out of the bathroom.
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Tashaâs Key Business Decisions
What I learned: Business decisions are not about the quality of writing, but about what the producer needs from the script to get it produced. It requires another kind of creativity and can allow a writer to really establish being invaluable to a producer.
1. Decisions currently in my High Budget script:
Genre: Horror
Title: Possession of Love
Concept:
What if Reagan from the Exorcist wanted to start dating?
Audience: Females under 25
Budget: $5-7 million
Lead Characters:
Bethany (Antagonist)
Deacon Anders (Protagonist)
Journey / Character Arc:
Bethany
Goes from misguided by priest, demon attachment and striking out in love to in charge of her spiritual health, kicking the demon to the curve and finding love after learning to love herself
Deacon Anders
Goes from exerting a controlling and manipulative influence over Bethany to being exposed for practicing dark magic, bested by Bethanyâs spiritual power and stripped of his churchâs affiliation
Opening:
A young Deacon Anders assists in performing a gnarly exorcism on a teenage Bethany who is possessed by Demon 23.
Ending:
Bethany defeats Deacon Anders and Demon 23 in order to fall in love with her spiritual guru, Koju.
2. Decisions that could improve the script to make it more marketable:
Title: Change the Title – it doesnât catch your attention and it doesnât tell you what the movie is about.
Possibilities are:
-An Exorcise in Love
-Love is (from) Hell
-Dating with Demons
-Dating with Demon
Budget:
Keep locations and characters to a minimum.
Donât go all out on sfx in the screenwriting process.
Keep it around 90 pages.
Reduce characters where possible.
Lead Characters:
Beth discovers her spiritual power, so maybe she becomes an exorcist in the end. And during the process of exorcising someone, she has to invite the demon into herself and becomes temporarily possessed, which could be scary.
Deacon Anders is a bad guy but he should be acting from a noble purpose, or at least noble to him, so that he isnât just one note. If he saw Bethany as a conduit for evil, then he would believe it was his duty as a disciple of Jesus/God to combat that evil. So everything he does to Bethany is in service for the greater good. At the end, Deacon Anders should continue to practice the dark arts, maybe he is possessed in his own way by the dark power. He most likely wonât be killed at the end, so he should still be a threat that is maybe dealt with at another time in another story.
Opening
Up the stakes. Bethany doesnât lose her soul, but what if she loses her family. Also make it scarier by showing Bethanyâs torment. Not head rotating or pee-soup vomiting, but something equally as messed up and maybe more plausible.
Ending
Bethany needs to demonstrate her power in the end. Maybe she exorcises somebody during a date and even though itâs scary, it solidifies that Koju is the guy for her.
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Tashaâs Speciality â Horror
What I learned doing this assignment is that specializing in a genre helps you get writing assignments. You can still write screenplays in other genres, but when you’re trying to get a paid assignment, specialize, specialize, specialize.
1. I would like to become an expert in the horror genre with a focus on the supernatural.
2. The two movies Iâm selecting are:
Get Out
The Hitcher (1986)
3. As you watch each movie, take notes on how that movie fulfills the key parts of your genre.
-Genre: Horror
-Title: Get Out
-How it delivered on the genre conventions:
The film expertly creates an overall tone of isolation and tension from the first scene. For the main character, Chris, the isolation continues to grow during a stay at his white girlfriendâs rural family estate until he reaches a state of high tension and eventual fear of insanity when the nefarious plot is discovered. Villain development is foreshadowed in the beginning and throughout the 2nd act until the reveal that the family is evil, which pays off well. The supernatural plot twist is a departure from reality which further drives the main characterâs insanity and desperation. The climax becomes a battle to stay alive and the resolution delivers the moral statement bringing it altogether. Moral Statement: Itâs a modern day slave-trade tale that satirically and masterfully comments on the perils of conformity for minorities in America.
All in all, it delivers on the purpose very effectively.
-Outline of the movie, highlighting the parts that fulfill the genre:
Act 1:
OPENING SCENE:
A young African American man, Andre, is kidnapped in a quiet suburban neighborhood by an unknown assailant.
Isolation – The quiet, desolate suburban neighborhood is the perfect eerie setting for the kidnapping. There are many people in their houses, yet no one is around to witness the kidnapping. It drives home the sense of helplessness Andre feels as he tries to fight off his assailant.
Inciting Incident
INT. CHRISâS LOFT – DAY
Chris, a photographer, finds out that heâs meeting his girlfriend, Roseâs, white parents for the first time without them knowing heâs black.
Isolation/Tension – Already establishes Chrisâs sense of isolation and tension as he worries about what Roseâs family will think when they see that he is black.
5. EXT. RURAL ROAD – ROSEâS CAR – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Rose tells off a cop who wants to see Chrisâs license even though he wasnât driving when they hit the deer.
Villain – Sets up Rose as a villain through irony – she comes to Chrisâs defense even though Chris will come to defend himself against Rose by the movieâs climax.
6. INT. RURAL ROAD – ROSEâS CAR – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Rose says she wonât let anyone fuck with Chris and Chris tells her thatâs hot.
Villain – Sets up Rose as a villain through irony – she comes to Chrisâs defense even though Chris will come to defend himself against Rose by the movieâs climax.
EXT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – DAY
Rose and Chris are welcomed by Dean and Missy with big hugs while Walter, the African American caretaker, watches them from afar.
Villain – Sets up the villains through irony – Missy and Dean welcome to their home even though they plan to never let Chris go home again.
8. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – DAY
Dean shows Chris around and he learns that Dean is a retired neurosurgeon and Missy is a psychiatrist. Chris meets Georgina, who is the African American maid.
Departure from Reality – Georgina doesnât act human and itâs not because sheâs disgruntled.
9. EXT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – DAY
Dean shows Chris the very isolated estate and explains why they have âblack servantsâ Georgina and Walter.
Isolation & Departure from Reality – Thereâs no one around to help Chris and Deanâs acknowledgement of Georgina and Walter draw attention to how strange they behave.
10. EXT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – BACKYARD – DAY
While Dean explains that Missy can cure Chrisâs smoking with hypnosis and Missy reminds Rose that they are having a party the next day, Georgina has a personality switch while sheâs pouring the tea. Jeremy, Roseâs brother, shows up.
Departure from Reality – Missyâs prowess with hypnosis seems a bit unbelievable and Georginaâs personality glitch continues to increase her strange behavior.
Villain – Jeremyâs boisterous introduction is high energy and draws attention.
11. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – DINING ROOM – NIGHT
Jeremy entertains everyone at the dinner table until he starts getting intense about fighting styles and tries to put Chris in a headlock.
Villain – Jeremyâs aggression towards Chris is outwardly menacing.
12. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – ROSEâS BEDROOM – NIGHT
Rose apologizes for her racially flawed family.
Villain – Continues to sets up Rose as a villain through irony – she comes to Chrisâs defense even though Chris will come to defend himself against Rose by the movieâs climax.
14. EXT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – BACKYARD – NIGHT
Chris goes outside for a smoke and Walter almost runs him over doing sprints. Chris sees Georgina being weird in the window.
Departure from Reality and Villains– Draws attention to Georgina and Walter and how increasingly strange they behave. It also establishes mounting aggression toward Chris.
A1 TP
15. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – MISSYâS OFFICE- NIGHT
MIssy puts Chris under hypnosis with her teacup and sends him to the Sunken Place.
Departure from Reality and Villain – Demonstrates Missy otherworldly talent and her nefarious intentions for Chris.
Act 2
16. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – ROSEâS BEDROOM – NIGHT
Chris wakes up as if from a bad nightmare. He notices his phone is unplugged.
Villain – Georginaâs mounting aggression towards Chris.
17. EXT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – DAY
Chris tries to talk to Walter who comes off as standoffish and robotic even though he smiles during the whole conversation.
Departure from Reality and Villain – Chris expects Walter to be able to relate to him in a natural and kindred manner, but Walterâs robotic and hostile nature goes beyond unfamiliarity, it comes off as creepy. It also shows Walterâs mounting aggression towards Chris.
18. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – ROSEâS BEDROOM – DAY
Chris tells Rose that he thinks Missy hypnotized him because he doesnât want a cigarette anymore and he had weird dreams. Also said had a weird vibe talking to Walter. The guests arrive.
Departure from Reality, Villain, High Tension – Again thereâs confirmation of Missyâs power which continues to foreshadow her as a villain. Also, even though Chris says that not wanting a cigarette is a good thing, he acts violated and this adds to his sense of discomfort and tension.
19. INT./EXT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – DAY
Chris gets bad vibes from all the primarily white party guests sizing him up like a prize horse. When he sees Andre, from the opening scene, Andre greets him in a very stiff and robotic manner.
Departure from Reality, Villain, High Tension – The party guests behave in a manner that is grotesque, this foreshadows their involvement as villains. Andre behaves like a robot and it feels very unnatural. This increases Chrisâs sense of tension.
20. EXT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – GAZEBO – DAY
Chris meets blind art dealer Jim Hudson. The only party guest to talk to Chris naturally.
Villain and Death/Insanity – Jim is a villain who is the only one who responds to Chris with ease and normalcy. However, he is the reason Chris will be put in a life or death situation where heâs driven to the brink of insanity.
21. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – DAY
Chris walks past the chatting, animated guests and heads upstairs to Roseâs room. As soon as heâs out of sight, the guests stop talking and watch the ceiling.
Departure from Reality, and Villains – The party guests behave in a manner that is out of the ordinary and foreshadows their involvement as villains.
22. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – ROSEâS BEDROOM – DAY
Chris notices that his phone is unplugged. He calls Rod and tells him he thinks Missy hypnotizes him.
Villains – Georginaâs mounting aggression towards Chris.
Intercut with
23. INT. CHRISâS LOFT – DAY
Rod says that they are probably hypnotizing everyone and turning them into sex slaves.
High Tension and Death/Insanity – Predicts the situation that will lead to Chris being out of control and fighting for his life and his sanity.
24. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – ROSEâS BEDROOM – DAY
Georgina apologizes to Chris for unplugging his phone. She seems to have a slight personality change that causes her smile through tears in a very creepy way.
Villain and Departure from Reality – Georgina lies to Chris about how sheâs helping to sabotage him. Then her sift in personality suggests a woman in turmoil who is crazy and/or out of control. She talks like sheâs trying to convince herself instead of Chris that things are alright.
25. EXT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – BACKYARD – DAY
The flash from Chrisâs phone causes a severe personality change in Andre. He charges toward Chris screaming âGet out!â
Departure from reality – Andre is desperate and hysterical after seeing the flash which is not normal.
Death/Insanity – We see Andre insanity, which shows the audience what will happen to Chris.
Tension – Andre has gained control for a handful of seconds and his desperation increases Chrisâs tension and sense of dread.
26. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – LIVING ROOM – DAY
Missy explains that Andre suffers from seizures and Andre apologizes for scaring everyone.
Villain – Missy lies to hide the true horror from Chris.
27. EXT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – BACKWOODS – DAY
Chris goes on a walk with Rose and says he needs to leave.
Tension – Chrisâs feels like heâs losing control and he wants to get it back.
Isolation – Chris wants to return home because heâs helpless at the Armitage Estate. Home is his hope for getting control back and resolving his tension and fear.
Intercut with:
Midpoint
28. EXT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – GAZEBO – DAY
Dean holds a silent auction. It is revealed that Chris is being auctioned off. Jim Hudson wins the auction.
Villains – The silence drives home the fact that all of these party guests are engaged in a nefarious undertaking.
Departure from Reality – They are bidding on Chris which is a departure from the current reality. At this point itâs unknown as to why they are bidding on him, but itâs creepy and reminiscent of slave auctions, so the audience definitely knows no good is coming from this activity.
High Tension – Creates tension for the audience as it now has a tangible reason to fear for Chrisâs safety.
29. EXT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – BACKWOODS – DUSK
Chris tells Rose that his mom died cold and alone because no one was looking for her. She says they should go back to NYC. Chris tells her he loves her.
Isolation – Highlights that the Armitageâs get away with what they are doing becomes no one comes looking for the people they auction off. This suggest that the same thing will happen to Chris.
Villain – Rose continuing to add to her villainy through irony. She defends him yet again even though he will have to defend himself against her.
ACT 3
30. EXT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – NIGHT
Chris and Rose approach the house as the guests leave and Jeremy plays a creepy tune on a ukulele.
High Tension – Will Chris be able to leave as easily as the guests do?
31. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – ROSEâS BEDROOM – NIGHT
Chris sends a photo of Andre to Rod and he identifies him. Then he finds pictures of Rose with all sorts of black people including Walter and Georgina.
High Tension & Death/Insanity – Chris is starting to realize he might be in a situation that is beyond his control. He might not be able to escape it.
A3 TP
32. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – FRONT FOYER- NIGHT
Chris discovers that Missy, Dean, Jeremy and Rose have no intention of letting him leave. Missy sends Chris to the Sunken place.
Departure from Reality and Isolation – Missyâs power is confirmed for Chris and she puts him in the Sunken Place from where he cannot escape.
High Intensity – Chris is locked in his own body and completely out of control. He is driven to hysteria.
Death/Insanity – Chris doesnât know if he will die at this point but he knows the Sunken Place is a threat to his sanity.
33. INT. CHRISâS LOFT
Rod is disturbed to find that Chris is not at home and heâs not answering his phone. Rod starts researching Andre and sees that heâs been âmissingâ for a while.
High Tension – Rodâs sense of helplessness leads him to investigate.
34. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – BASEMENT GAME ROOM – NIGHT
Chris wakes up to find that his hands and feet are bound to an armchair. A video plays that shows Chris heâs going to be part of the Armitageâs weird scheme.
Isolation: Heâs alone in the basement and bound to a chair. He is powerless.
Death/Insanity: The video doesnât explain much, but Chris knows something bad is coming that will probably threaten his life.
High Tension: The situation is out of his control.
35. INT. POLICE STATION – DAY
Rod tries to report Chris as missing.
Isolation: The cops laugh at Rod and he feels powerless.
36. INT. RODâS LOFT – DAY
Rod calls Chrisâs phone and Rose picks up. She tries to play innocent by Rod can see through her lies especially when she tries to seduce him.
Villain: Rose demonstrates how dangerous she is because Rod almost falls for her at despite knowing sheâs bad and probably did something to Chris.
37. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – BASEMENT GAME ROOM – NIGHT
Jim Hudson explains to Chris that he is going to take over Chrisâs body and Chris will live in the Sunken Place. Chris discovers how to escape.
Departure from Reality and Isolation: Demonstrates Missy otherworldly skills that renders Chris utterly powerless and at the brink of insanity and hysteria.
38. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – SURGERY ROOM – NIGHT
Dean and Jeremy prep Jim Hudson for the transplant.
Death/Insanity: Dean and Jeremy are prepping Jim so he can take Chrisâs life.
Departure from Reality: The procedure is terrifying and unreal.
Villains: Shows are skilled and ruthless Dean and Jeremy are. They are so calm about the surgery, which indicates they have been successful at it before.
High Tension: They have gotten away with this many times before. Will they successfully implant Jim into Chrisâs body?
CLIMAX – Test
39. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – BASEMENT GAME ROOM – NIGHT
Chris knocks Jeremy unconscious and escapes from the room.
High Tension: Jeremy physically kidnapped Andre. Will he overpower Chris?
Death/Insanity: Chris is fearful for his life and his hysteria enables him to fight to the death.
40. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – BASEMENT HALLWAY – NIGHT
Chris kills Dean with antlers.
High Tension: Will Chris be able to escape?
Death/Insanity: Chris is fearful for his life and his hysteria enables him to fight to the death.
41. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – MISSYâS OFFICE – NIGHT
Chris kills Missy.
High Tension: Missy is an expert at sending Chris to the Sunken Place. Will she do it again when he squares off with her.
Death/Insanity: Chris overpowers Missy in order to escape with his life.
42. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – FRONT ENTRANCE – NIGHT
Jeremy tries to choke Chris, but Chris stabs Jeremy in the leg and stomps him to death.
High Tension: The surprise of Jeremy not being dead may mean that heâs tough enough to subdue and/or kill Chris.
Death/Insanity: Chris fights for his life and makes sure that Jeremy is dead.
43. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – BEDROOM – NIGHT
Rose listens to âI Had the Time of My Life,â while eating Fruit Loops one-at-a-time and surfing the Net for another victim.
Villain: Thatâs just messed up.
44. EXT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – ROAD – NIGHT
Chris hits Georgina (Grandma) and tries to help her by loading her in the car.
Departure from Reality: Chris helps Georgina because of the slight possibility that the procedure can be reversed.
High Tension: How much of Grandma has taken over and will this cause a problem for Chris.
45. INT. CAR – NIGHT
Georgina comes to and starts attacking Chris causing him to crash. Grandma dies and Chris wakes up to Rose shooting at the car.
High Tension: Georgina comes to and sheâs all grandma. She fights Chris and causes them to crash. Is Chris dead?
Death/Insanity: The violence of the fight and the car crash.
Resolution
46. EXT. CAR – NIGHT
Rose sends Walter (Grandpa) to finish off Chris but his camera flash causes Walterâs personality to shift and he shoots Rose before killing himself. Rose, still alive, calls out for help when she sees flashing red and blue lights on the property, but itâs Rod in a TSA vehicle. Rod and Chris leave and Rose bleeds out.
Isolation: Chris is almost killed by Grandpa because there is no one there to help him.
Death/Insanity: Chris has been beaten, tortured and made to fear for his life. Heâs scared out of his mind.
Departure from reality: Walter or whoever he is kills himself because he knows that procedure cannot be reversed.
Moral Statement: Itâs a modern day slave-trade tale that satirically and masterfully comments on the perils of conformity for minorities in America.
Genre: Horror
Title: Carrie (1974)
How it delivered on the genre conventions:
Purpose: To take the characters to the point of hysteria.
Isolation: Setting and situation where the characters are alone and powerless against the monster/villain.
Death/Insanity: Threaten your characters with awful, violent, and torturous deaths. Create the fear of death or insanity.
Monster/Villain: A person or entity that will inflict endless terror and violence.
High Tension: Put your characters in sinister situations that are out of their control, then turn up the heat to the point of hysteria.
Departure from Reality: These are extreme locations, situations, outside of daily life. Thrillers are part of our normal life. Horror movies are a departure from normal life.
Moral Statement: Under all of this horror is a social message about what are acceptable values and what lines not to cross. Those who violate these values are punished in a bad way.
Analysis for The Hitcher to follow.
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Analyzing the Second Movie
Title: The Hitcher (1986)
Concept: While transporting a car from Chicago to San Diego, Jim Halsey picks up a hitchhiker named John Ryder, who claims to be a serial killer.
Terrorizes The Characters: Jim Halsey is doggedly pursued by a disappointed serial killer who will continue to kill the people that come into contact with Jim until Jim figures out how to stop him.
Isolation: A long stretch of lonely, desert road in 80s Texas with only a handful of gas stations and diners along the way, half of which are not operational.
Death: Dismemberment, Beheading, Explosions, Shootings, Vehicular Manslaughter, Child Murder
Monster/Villain: John Ryder, The Hitcher, a phantom-like serial killer who relentlessly torments Halsey into the final act of stopping Ryder.
High Tension: Every place of sanctuary Halsey seeks is visited by Ryder where he racks up a high body count. Halseyâs not even safe at a police station surrounded by cops.
Departure from Reality: Ryder corners Halsey at every turn and Halsey is forced to break the law in order to seek help.
Moral Statement: Stranger Danger! Never pick up a Hitchhiker! Also, driving solo across the country isnât just dangerous for the driver.
This movie is an excellent horror film. Not only is it very effective in delivering the horror conventions by isolating characters, creating the fear of the unknown with the enigmatic Hitcher that is a lethal, phantom-like serial killer and driving characters to the point of hysteria and fear for their lives as the body count mounts and the kills become more gruesome, but it was written with budget decision in mind as it kept characters and locations to a minimum and had a trim running time. It is super effective on all fronts.
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Tashaâs LinkedIn Profile is Amazing!
What I learned from this assignment: Even if you don’t have a lot of screenwriting-centric credibility, focusing your LinkedIn page is a great first step towards growing it.
Already, I improved my LinkedIn page by removing extraneous details and updating profile pic and text to be more professional looking. Over the next 30 days I will grow my credibility by adding accomplishments, endorsements and recommendations and by building my network of producers.
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Tashaâs Credibility is Going Up!
What I learned doing this assignment: Assessing credibility provides you with a tangible guide for improvement.
Steps for increasing credibility in the next 30 days:
Create a writing sample
Get a Recommend
Win a competition
Connect to producers and grow my networkCredibility Checklist
1. Writing Sample
âRecommendâ from Coverage â no
Delivers on the genre in a strong way â no
Delivers on the business decisions â no
2. Screenwriting Accomplishments.
Contest wins: none
Smaller deals (options, sales, writing assignments): none
Larger deal: none
Movies produced: 2 (shorts)
3. The Google factor
Google your name. How many items on the first page show you as a professional screenwriter? 0
4. Your Network
How many producers are in your network? 0
How many Connections do you have who are connected to producers? 0
5. Education specific to screenwriting
BA in Film Theory
2nd BA in Film/TV Production
ScreenwritingU – Proseries
ScreenwritingU – 30 Day Screenplay
6. Borrowed Credibility
Represented by an agent or manager: no
Working with a producer: no
Connected to a star: no
Connected to a funding source: no
7. IMDB CREDITS
What credits show up there for you?
Writer/Director as T.Espinoza for:
-Sketcherâs Sketch of a Sketchee
-Fear of Falling
-Mr. Jackson
Producer as T.E. Marshall for:
-Steveâs Problem (SIFF 2014 Official Selection)
-Soundlings: The Desert Sessions
8. Other forms of credibility that is related to screenwriting:
Novels published: 1
âMore than Wordsâ under pen-name Ava Evans
Producer or director experience: Yes
Experience working with agencies, production companies, film festivals, etc..: 1 Festival â SIFF
Possible things to do to increase credibility in the future:
-Become and expert in a genre
-Write screenplays-Win contests-Connect to Producers on on LinkedIn and grow my network-Get my screenplays produced
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Tashaâs Projects and Insights
Below are the two projects Iâm bringing into this class. Iâve included the budget range.
A) Idea:
Ghost Hunt
Budget Range $3-$5 million
B) Finished Script:
Possession of Love
Budget Range $5-$7 million
What I learned from the opening teleconference: If you want to land writing assignments, become an expert at a genre. If you want to increase your chances of staying on the writing assignment until it is produced, be collaborative and fearless when it comes to producerâs notes–try to wow the producer with how well you can execute their notes in the screenplay. Getting a writing assignment produced into a film builds up your credibility and dramatically increases your chances of getting another paid assignment.
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Hello Everybody,
My name is Tasha. I’ve written 3 scripts. I hope to gain a strong understanding of how to work with Producer Notes. Something unique about me is that I’m a synesthete and, due to a brain mutation, I see letters and numbers in color.
I’m excited to be in this class!
Have a great dayđ
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GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, the Forum for Writing Assignments 32, I, Tasha Espinoza, agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writerâs work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writerâs ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group memberâs idea, Iâll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, heâll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you donât present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group memberâs ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
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Great! Looking forward to it. Please send your pdf to tespinozaca@gmail.com. I’m sending my first draft your way in a few minutes.
Thank you!
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Tasha’s Ready for Script Exchange Version 1
Hi there! I’m ready to exchange scripts and provide feedback. If you’re looking for someone to partner up with on this assignment, please let me know.
Thank you,
Tasha
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Tashaâs Chronological Edit
Doing this assignment, I learned: Chronological edits are super fun!
Improvements:
I went through my script and saw that every scene had areas where either flow, clarity or description needed to be improved–sometimes all three. I shortened, deleted or rewrote lots of action, description and dialogue to help the pacing of the story. I used Chat GPT as a thesaurus to easily elevate nouns and verbs.
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Tasha Solved Scene Problems!
Doing this assignment, I learned: using this technique helps you to really see how the scenes work together and you gain a deeper understanding of story dynamics and character relationships.
Identify any scenes that have any of the four problems and make the prescribed improvements:
Act 1
Opening – Bethanyâs Exorcism
Problem:
Cliche
Fix:
Added the element of Bethany helping to exorcise herself
Added the element of the assistant clergy trying to kill her instead of helping to exorcise her
Act 1
Church Scene – Bethany tells Deacon Anders about bad dates
Problem:
Basic: Didnât deliver on purpose
Weak: Needed stronger scene arc
Fix: Established the old ways better by changing talking head scene to a confessional scene that depicted dates and tied dates to penance
Act 1
Int Group Home – Kids talk to Bethany about being gloomy
Int. Group Home – Bethany tells kids about date with Ben
Problem:
Basic: Didnât deliver on purpose
Weak: Needed stronger scene arc
Fix: Combined two scenes at the youth home to deliver on challenging the wound and raising the stakes for the protag
Act 1
Church scene – Bethany and Deacon have a big argument
Problem: Didnât challenge antag
Fix: Added the catered dinner for nucio to deliver on Deacon Andersâs wound
Act 1
Date scene – Restaurant – Brad tells Bethany he canât date her
Problem: Weak Scene: Needed to up the stakes
Fix: Added fork stab marks on Brad
Act 3
React – Rectory – Bethany goes to the rectory
Problem: Weak Scene: Needed interest technique
Fix: Changed dead rose to dead flowers to focus around and interest technique – suspense
Act 3
Rethink – Cup Oâ Mo Joe Cafe Scene – Bethany turns to Amy for help
Problem: Make the scene arc stronger
Fix: Crafted a better trap for discovering if Deacon Anders is the one behind sending the videos
Act 4
Dilemma – Bethanyâs Soul – Bethany talks to Demon 23
Problem: Weak: Need to raise the stakes
Fix: Added to the dilemma that if Bethany doesnât trust Demon 23, she herself could be sent to Hell
Act 4
Climax – Church – Deacon Anders demonstrates his powers
Problem:
Weak: needed to make the arc stronger
Weak: needed to up the stakes
Fix: Added foster kids to the seen to put them in danger
Act 4
Resolution – Prison – Deacon Anders gets his comeuppance
Problem:
Basic: Didnât deliver on purpose
Challenge: Didnât deliver on Wound
Fix: Changed it from the Vatican to Prison
Act 4
Resolution – Park- Brad and Bethany talk
Problem:
Basic: Didnât deliver on goal
Cliche: just a basic closure scene
Challenge: Didnât deliver on value and wound
Fix: Instead of talking to Brad, she talks to Demon 23 through a possessed Brad
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Tasha Solved Character Problems!
Doing this assignment, I learned: it is important to check that your characterâs profiles are present in the story otherwise the character doesnât really exist.
1. Check your lead characters to see if they have any of the problems listed in this lesson.
A. Weak protagonist or antagonist.
B. Protagonist Too Good or Antagonist Too Bad.
C. Weak character intros.
D. Characters not in action.
E. Protagonist journey not strong.
F. All the characters seem the same.
G. Lead characters not present.
Bethany
Is she a weak Protag because I focus too much on making her likable?
I think Bethany is likable, but I have put her in some situations where sheâs been pushed and she does or says some things that arenât nice and are selfish.
I think Bethany is pushed out of her box and as a result the audience is engaged in feeling several ways about her: some main emotions are awe, worry and frustration.
Awe because of her spiritual ability.
Worry because she has a priest that wants to kill her and a demon thatâs starting to get physical with her.
Frustration because she doubts herself.
Is Bethany too Good – is she not relatable? Is Bethany a good person doing bad things?
She does a few unlikeable things when sheâs stressed or scared like yell at a priest. She is a good person who does bad things when she selfishly tries to date Brad even though she knows it might result in his harm.
Are her two intros weak? Is she introduced in action or is she a talking head?
When sheâs first introduced, she doesnât say much, instead she saves herself from a demon, so I think thatâs pretty good action.
Her second intro is a talking head but then the things sheâs describing are also depicted so there is action as well.
Can her words be delivered through action?
There are some spots where her meaning can be established through action and tweaks have been made accordingly.
Do her actions deliver a deeper meaning?
There are some moments where action should be used to to establish a deeper meaning and tweaks have been made accordingly.
Is her journey not strong enough?
Her journey is pretty strong but the Old ways need to be better defined through Deacon Anders teachings. What are the old ways she experiences with Deacon Anders. He doesnât provide her with a very good spiritual foundation. In the confessional scene he needs to make her feel more guilty. I need to better define the rules of his spiritual guidance for Bethany.
Does she seem the same as the other characters?
These are the characteristics that need to come through: sweetness, perseverance, shame, worry, awkwardness, humor, self-deprecation. Strangely, sheâs not fearful of the Demon 23, sheâs fearful of not being loved.
How does each line deliver at least one of these?
She uses humor in most of what she says but she isnât sarcastic with it too much, mostly the sweetness drives her to be polite. So she has polite humor.
How does each action show the characterâs uniqueness?
Her perseverance drives her forward. A lot of people try to shut her down, but the drive forward is natural for her in this particular journey. She doesnât ever deliberate about if she should pursue a âleadâ regarding the question sheâs trying to answer, she just acts.
Is she not present in most of the story?
She is present in every scene of the story.
The areas Iâm working on to elevate Bethany as a protagonist are: delivering meaning through action, making sure her dialogue is consistent with her characteristics, balancing her journey with her using the old ways more specifically in the beginning.
Deacon Anders
Is he weak? Is he an expression of Bethanyâs greatest fears? Does he force her into difficult situations?
No, heâs not weak. Bethanyâs fear is that sheâs not loveable and Deacon Anders not only creates this by actively ruining her love life, he feels sheâs actually evil and makes plans to kill her.
Too bad? Is he balanced? Does he have a reason for what he is doing? Is he a bad person doing good things?
No, heâs not too bad. Heâs actually friendly with Bethany when he thinks her threat is contained. Itâs when he brings Demon 23 into play that he starts to become colder to Bethany and more villain like. And heâs only a villain to Bethany because he thinks itâs his God-given mission to deal with Bethanyâs âevilâ that he thinks she has because of her past possession. Heâs a priest, so he does a lot of good things especially if they will further his position in the church. As for people, I think he thinks theyâre fun but doesnât really concern himself with their well-being if it doesnât suit his agenda.
Is his intro weak? Is he introduced in action or is he talking head?
Heâs introduced in action as heâs being terrorized by a demon heâs supposed to help exorcise. Heâs so scared, he actually tries to kill Bethany because sheâs the demonâs host and he thinks he can stop the torment by killing her.
Can his words be delivered through action?
There are some spots where her meaning can be established through action and tweaks have been made accordingly.
Do his actions deliver a deeper meaning?
There are some moments where action should be used to to establish a deeper meaning and tweaks have been made accordingly.
Does the antag seem the same as all the other characters?
These are the characteristics that need to come through: two-faced, righteous, seemingly genuine kindness, guilt and concern for manipulation, friendly
How does each line deliver at least one of these?
His manipulation of Bethany is at first masked by kindness and you think he has an actual friendship with her, but when he has the fight with Bethany and she pulls away, his manipulation feels more two-faced. The righteousness needs to be amped up during Act 4.
How does each action show the characterâs uniqueness?
It shows his uniqueness because each action is about getting him to his end goal, which he actively uses black magic to attain, despite being a priest.
The areas Iâm working on to elevate Deacon Anders as an antagonist are: delivering meaning through action, beefing up his righteousness during the 4th act, doing a pass to make sure his actions show his uniqueness as a character.
Demon 23
Deacon Anders
Is he weak? Is he an expression of Bethanyâs greatest fears? Does he force her into difficult situations?
No, heâs not weak. He is the manifestation of Bethanyâs greatest fears – that sheâs unlovable because of her past possession. He puts her into difficult situations with his toxic ex behavior in poltergeist form.
Too bad? Is he balanced? Does he have a reason for what he is doing? Is he a bad person doing good things?
Yes, he is balanced. When he realizes heâs been attached to Bethany to do Deacon Anderâs bidding, he starts to rebel and help Bethany. Eventually he comes to realize that he doesnât want to possess Bethany, he actually loves her and ultimately helps her defeat Deacon Anders and tells Bethany his name so she can send him away.
Is his intro weak? Is he introduced in action or is he talking head?
Heâs introduced in action as he possesses Bethany, but heâs not really established as a character who will come back later in the story. Not sure if this is needed. But maybe there needs to be a characteristic of the possession that is present when Demon 23 starts to make his presence known later in the story.
Can his words be delivered through action?
His meaning is mostly delivered through action.
Do his actions deliver a deeper meaning?
There are some moments where action should be used to to establish a deeper meaning and tweaks have been made accordingly.
Does the antag seem the same as all the other characters?
These are the characteristics that need to come through: jealousy, possessive, initial disorientation, rough around the edges, helpful eventually, remorseful
How does each line deliver at least one of these?
Mostly by the time heâs chatting with Bethany, heâs remorseful and heâs trying to figure out how to fix it, but heâs uncouth so it doesnât come off great.
How does each action show the characterâs uniqueness?
Well, heâs basically an abusive ex in the form of a demonic presence that can only use a poltergeist-like action to express himself in the beginning of the story. As a demon, he goes a long way in redeeming himself when he helps Bethany defeat Deacon Anders. The fact that he even tries to help Bethany makes him unique as a demon.
The areas Iâm working on to elevate Demon 23 as an antagonist are: delivering his character traits via his words when he does get a chance to speak, making sure the possessive ex set-up and pay-off are strong, defining his uniqueness in the opening and then paying that off throughout the story.
2. For any character problems you find, make the prescribed improvements.
Improvements have been added.
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Tashaâs Solved Structural Problems
Doing this assignment, I learned: Given honest answers to the question is a great way to see areas to elevate.
1. Bring back your structural beats from Lesson 5.
Act 1:
Opening:
Father Ptolemy exorcises Demon 23 from Bethany. Deacon Anders is too freaked out to help. Bethanyâs family disowns her.
Inciting Incident:
Brad shows up unexpectedly at the coffee shop, connects romantically with Bethany while catching up, and asks her out.
Turning Point:
Brad tells Bethany he canât date her. She is physically assaulted by Demon 23 and vows to end the torment both on the demon level and on the heartbreak level.
Act 2:
New Plan:
The old way would be for Bethany to seek Deacon Andersâs guidance. Instead, she decides to figure things out on her own.
Plan in Action:
She tells the foster kids she has to say goodbye for a while to protect them.
She tries contacting Brad without success and gets advice from Amy to look up her other exes and find out why they didnât pursue a relationship with her.
She finds an old suitor who shows her the video he received of her exorcism. It scared him off. He doesnât know who sent it to him, but he tells her where she could find more answers.
She finds a support group of guys who dated her. They all received the video. They all donât know who sent it, but they have a theory they share with her.
Midpoint Turning Point:
Bethany pays a visit to the parents that disowned her and asks if theyâve been sending videos of her exorcism to people. Her father says they didnât record such a horrible event. Deacon Anders did.
Act 3:
React/Rethink
At the coffee shop, Amy tells Bethany she knows a guy who might be able to help her spiritually. She also has a way to see if Deacon Anders is sending videos of her exorcism.
New plan:
Bethany works with Koju and his team of spiritual practitioners to learn the skills she needs to fight Demon 23 and possibly Deacon Anders.
Bethany projects messages of love to the foster kids and to Brad.
After Bethany masters the light side of spirituality, Amy gives her a book about the dark arts so she can at least have an understanding of the other side. Demon 23 creates paranormal activity that seems to support Amyâs assessment.
Bethany masters some of the spells in the book including revealing what demons are in the area and what their names are so she can banish them.
She summons Demon 23 at the Spiritual center so she can reveal his name and banish him, but he has a warning for her about Deacon Anders. Before he can tell her, he vanishes. Koju tells her to telepathically reach out to Deacon Anders and see if she can figure out what Demon 23 was trying to warn her about. She sees a huge pentagram in Deacon Anders room.
Turning Point
Bethany and Koju break into Deacon Andersâ chambers and find evidence of the pentagram. Deacon Anders conjures Demon 23 to possess Koju and he has Koju knock Bethany out.
Act 4:
Dilemma
Bethany learns that Deacon Anders plans to kill Bethany and use Demon 23 to possess the Bishop. Demon 23 tells her that she might be able to defeat Deacon Anders but she has to trust Demon 23 and join forces with him–this is the demon that said he was going to tear her apart in the Opening.
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict
Deacon Anders summons a bunch of demons to possess his congregation, including the visiting Bishop and the foster kids, so he can livestream a mass exorcism to the Vatican and demonstrate his power. Bethany and Demon 23 project a Protection Spell and a Reveal Spell to the congregation and demons start being expelled. Deacon Anders tries to kill Bethany but Demon 23 possesses him and almost makes Deacon Anders kill himself, but Bethany stops him. She shows Demon 23 true love, thanks him, says his name and sends him on his way.
Resolution
Deacon Anders is defrocked by the Pope.
Bethany tells Amy she will replace her book. Amy asks if sheâs going to date Koju now, but then Brad shows up.
Brad tells Bethany heâs sorry. He tells her heâs seeing someone but he will always be there as a friend. He thanks her for the message she sent him and encourages her to find love.
Bethany reunites with the foster kids who now know all her secrets. They arenât afraid. Some want to move in with her. They all love her.
Bethany frees a guy from a demonic attachment so he can have a good date and she joins up with Koju for their date. They kiss.
2. Using the Structure Questions above, go to each structure point in your script and ask the question. Make sure you have a real answer.
Act 1:
Opening/Old Ways: Is this an engaging opening scene that lures us into the story? Is the lead character clearly living in a pre-transformation mode? Do the âOld Waysâ show up in their behavior and dialogue?
ANSWER:
Yes the opening is engaging because Bethany is in a fight for her very soul. We see her innocence and we see the ravages of the demon. The high stakes lure the audience into the story because they will want to see what happens to Bethany who is in peril.
Weak? No. The ultimate battle of good and evil/life and death is handed to the audience right at the beginning.
Confusing? No. You understand right away the stakes.
Vague? No.
Does it deliver well on that Beat? Yes. It definitely gets your attention and gets you asking whatâs going to happen.
Yes, the lead is living in the pre-transformational mode. She does display spiritual strength but she has a long way to go if sheâs going to take on her inner and outer demons. If she didnât have father Ptolemy there, she would have perished.
Weak? No, the concept is solid and interesting. I donât recall seeing a person participate in their own exorcism the way Bethany does by trying to read the bible and saying her new age mantra (even though she doesnât know itâs new age)
Confusing? [BRAINSTORM ALERT] It could be a little confusing. What triggers Bethany saying the light prayer? How does she know to say it? How do we know that she would die without Father Ptolemyâs help? This last point definitely needs to be established.
Vague? Sheâs possessed, so clearly sheâs at the pre-transformational starting point–no where else to go but up.
Does it deliver well on that Beat?
Almost does. It shows that she canât save herself on her own yet. But that needs to be heightened by establishing that it will mean death if sheâs not saved.
Yes, the old ways show up in behavior and dialogue. Bethanyâs father says no one will love her. Her own family rejects her. This is the beginning of Bethany having to overcome the fear that she isnât lovable. Deacon Anders commits himself to making up for his failure and he says he will watch Bethany. Not watch over her, but watch her.
Weak? No. Again, donât remember a movie where the possessed child was rejected by her family afterwards and it is hard hitting.
Confusing? Nothing confusing about Bethanyâs father saying he will kill her if the priest doesnât take her.
Vague? Itâs a little vague as to what Deacon Anders means by watching her and thatâs done on purpose. The audience is meant to think heâs going to keep an eye on her for her welfare, not that he is going to watch her like a hawk because he fears her.
Does it deliver well on that Beat?
Yes. It establishes the old ways that will inform the first part of Bethanyâs story.
Inciting Incident: How does this incident invite and propel us into the journey?
ANSWER: Weâve seen Bethany struggle with love and her fear that she is unlovable. Then a potential match finds her. He is actively trying to pursue her which is out of the ordinary for her and offers promise. Their connection is romantic and charming and it looks like this is one of the best prospects for love sheâs had in a long time. We want to see how it turns out. We want to see if she can finally find love with this guy. She feels the same because she fights for approval to go on the date. We want her to defy Deacon Anders and date Brad.
Weak? No. Bethany receives a call to love. Up until this point, Bethany has been doing all the calling without anything to show for it. She most definitely wants to accept this call from Brad.
Confusing? No. We know why it happens. Brad has always thought about her and as luck would have it, sheâs on the dating site he uses.
Vague? [BRAINSTORM ALERT] Maybe. How do we know this situation is not typical? Maybe this happens with every meetcute she has and then the date is whatâs the disaster. So it needs to be established that this is special and unusual–she doesnât get pursued an she doesnât have meetcutes.
Does it deliver well on that Beat?
It is definitely the incident that incites the rest of the story.
Turning Point: How is this Turning Point a twist that locks us into the journey with âno going back?â
ANSWER: Bethany realizes her problems with dating are greater than just a string of bad luck and bad dates. Her problems are supernatural. She realizes that her passive approach does not work. She realizes that Deacon Anders has not been helping. She knows she has a huge task ahead of her, but her vow to end the supernatural activity and to find out why her love life is doomed to fail locks her in. Sheâs going to do what it takes even if that might mean turning her back on Deacon Anders.
Weak? No. Bethany now has a specific cause for her failing love life. Itâs supernatural, but Bethany can now try to figure out how to resolve it. This takes her journey in a new direction.
Confusing? It might not be completely understood that Brad is scared to go on the date because of the supernatural stuff. Perhaps Brad could make that link more evident.
Vague? No. Brad ditches her on the date and a demon assaults her. Who wouldnât vow to stop those things from happening?
Does it deliver well on that Beat? Bethany can no longer stand by and accept that she has bad luck. She has identified the problem and she wants to solve it. The pursuit of the solution will take the story in a new direction.
Act 2:
New Plan: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with the Act 1 Turning Point?
ANSWER: She usually seeks guidance from Deacon Anders and tries to follow his advice to solve her problems, but this time she knows that if she wants results, she has to figure things out on her own. She is starting to realize that any involvement from Deacon Andersâs will just stop her from moving forward and solving her problem.
Weak?[BRAINSTORM ALERT] Maybe. Why doesnât she seek Deacon Anders advice? Especially regarding demonic stuff. Need to establish that Deacon Anders has threatened something that makes her not consult him.
Confusing? No. She stays away from the church and pursues her own answers.
Vague? No, she progresses from wanting to talk to Brad to talking to a bunch of her exes and having confirmation that her supernatural past scared them off. Then she makes the discovery that someone is exposing her past.
Does it deliver well on that Beat?
Yes, Deacon Andersâs guidance is the old way. Taking matters into her hands is the new way.
Plan in action: How does the protagonist take action on that plan?
ANSWER: She decides to stop going to church so she can stay away from Deacon Anders. She tells her foster kids she wonât be coming by so that she can keep them safe from whatever is happening to her that might be supernatural. She uses Amy as a sounding board. She finds her old suitors and asks them why they stopped dating her to see if she can pinpoint what went wrong. She actively takes matters into her own hands. Sheâs no longer passive.
Weak? No. And the discovery of whatâs at play mounts with each action she takes.
Confusing? No. Her ex suitors are scared because they know she was possessed by a demon when she was a teenager.
Vague? No. We see the specifics from Bradâs profile being off limits to watching the video in the costco breakroom to the support group.
Does it deliver well on that Beat?
Yes. She is definitely pursuing new ways/tactics. And sheâs making new discoveries along the way. Sheâs getting somewhere. Sheâs going deeper into her journey.
Midpoint Turning Point: How does the Midpoint change the meaning, creating a reveal that changes everything while keeping us on the same journey?
ANSWER: After talking to her exes, she agrees that her family is a rather obvious explanation for who has been sending the video. Otherwise she wouldnât do the hard thing and go to them for answers. They gave her up and however painful it will be to see them, Bethany goes. But then she finds out it might be Deacon Anders who did it. She still needs to get to the bottom of everything and figure out how to stop Demon 23 and how to fix her love life, but now she has to see what role Deacon Anders plays in this whole thing–the man she trusted more than anyone could be her biggest betrayer.
Weak? No way. Having to face her father while heâs holding a shotgun is not weak. Also itâs great because the thing she wants, confirmation that her family is behind everything, yields an even more devastating revelation.
Confusing? No. She expected one answer and she got another. And we now know who the original owner of the video is. [BRAINSTORM ALERT – Should she question if he lost the video?]
Vague? No. She has more pieces of the puzzle.
Does it deliver well on that Beat? Yes. Her journey is still the same, but the meaning is different. Itâs now about betrayal.
Act 3:
React/Rethink: What is revealed to the protagonist from the Midpoint? How do they react or rethink things?
ANSWER: It is revealed to Bethany that Deacon Anders might be sending out the video and trying to destroy her love life. And he may be the one responsible for Demon 23 being back in her life as well. Bethany needs spiritual guidance, but she knows she has to seek it from someone other than Deacon Anders. Thatâs why she pursues Amyâs recommendation to meet with her spiritual practitioner friend and agrees to set a trap to prove Deacon Anders is sending the video. She has to rethink who she trusts and replace her spiritual mentor.
Weak? The part about the trap is vague. How does it prove Deacon Anders is the one sending the tape? [BRAINSTORM ALERT – Figure out a better reasoning for why this is helpful]
Confusing? Also, the conversation between Deacon Anders. It feels like it should serve something specific for the story here. Like it could be connected to Amyâs plan to trap him, but not sure how to make this more effective without the protag/antag showing their cards.
Vague? Maybe? Why does Amy suggest the trap? What is her logic?
Does it deliver well on that Beat?
Yes. Sheâs definitely looking at Deacon Anders differently and she doesnât trust him. Sheâs going to seek spiritual guidance from another source.
New Plan: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with this new level of conflict?
ANSWER: She turns to metaphysical and new age teachings. She also looks into aspects of the occult. She trusts and bonds with a new team that teaches her new ways to foster and strengthen her spirituality and spiritual power. They really want her to succeed. She also is open to listening to other perspectives of the spiritual and the supernatural. Hence why she uses Amyâs book to practice spells.
Weak? No. I think it ramps up and we can see Bethany cultivate her spiritual strength.
Confusing? No. They are helping her. She has a natural talent and she does have a supernatural attachment. For the first time, Koju and team get to see someone who is powerful optimize their spiritual teachings.
Vague? No. We see the different techniques used by are on Bethany for each thing she learns.
Does it deliver well on that Beat?
Yes. Sheâs doing what she needs to take on Demon 23 by learning how to interact with Demon 23 in a spiritual capacity.
Turning Point: The lowest of the low. How has this Turning Point brought the character to the lowest of lows, making it almost impossible for them to win in a normal way? This forces them to adopt the change in a much bigger way.
ANSWER: Bethany learns that sheâs not just up against a priest who thinks her dating life is a bad idea, but one who is actively practicing the dark arts and using a Demon she has a bad history with to destroy her life. And in her haste she doesnât stop to make the space safe like Bob taught her. Deacon Anders is able to get the upper hand. He commands Demon 23 to possess poor Koju and he paralyzes and knocks Bethany out. She is now at his mercy. Bethany will have to make a huge change if sheâs going to get out of this one– finding the strength to trust her greatest tormentor, Demon 23.
Weak? No. Deacon Anders has just gone from video sender to practitioner of black magic. Heâs also confirmed that he controls Demon 23.
Confusing? No.
Vague? Maybe. [BRAINSTORM ALERT Demon 23 could knock her out without possessing Koju but Deacon Anders kinda wants to stick it to her]
Does it deliver well on that Beat?
Yep. Koju is possessed. Bethany and Koju are at Deacon Andersâs mercy.
Act 4:
Dilemma: What emotional dilemma requires the protagonist to choose between two alternatives, losing something with either choice?
ANSWER: Bethany has to give into Demon 23 – something sheâs terrified of doing. Heâs her greatest abuser and she never planned on ever acknowledging him because she didnât want to give him power. It was a point of pride for her to hate him. But now she is being asked to join forces with him. If not, she has to take on Deacon Anders by herself when heâs at the height of his power. Heâs already got her at a disadvantage and he added her loved ones to the mix by inviting the foster kids to the event, which could result in their own possession nightmare.
Weak? No. Join forces with a Demon that could possess your soul or take on a powerful dark priest who plans to possess his entire congregation and kill you without any help.
Confusing? No. Sheâs between a rock and a hard place.
Vague? Maybe a little in theory but hopefully the execution will make it clear.
Does it deliver well on that Beat? Yep. Sheâs stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Climax/Ultimate Expression Of The Conflict: How is this the ultimate expression of the conflict? How does it require a âfight to the death,â either literally or symbolically?
ANSWER: It is the ultimate expression of the conflict because not only does Bethany have to try and stop Deacon Anders from basically extorting the Church using Black Magic, she has to clean up his mess when things get out of hand by combining force with her greatest tormentor and use her spiritual power to block multiple possessions from happening. And while sheâs distracted doing that, Deacon Anders literally tries to kill her because he ultimately believes itâs his God-given mission to protect the world from Bethany. Demon 23 takes on the physical fight of stopping Deacon Anders while Bethany seeks to restore peace via her spiritual power.
Weak? No. Deacon Andersâs grand scheme is pretty spectacular. Lots of stuff going on but it shows the conflict. Deacon Anders wants to stop Bethany from engaging with evil, but Bethany has to do so to stop Deacon Anders from quite literally killing her.
Confusing? No. I think Bethanyâs spiritual abilities and her command of the spells has been established well. So itâs not out of left field what she ends up doing.
Vague? Maybe. [BRAINSTORM ALERT] How is Demon 23 amplifying her power? How is he manifesting the protection spell and helping reveal the demons?
Does it deliver well on that Beat? Yes. Deacon Anders thought she was evil and tried to stop her, but because sheâs spiritually good, she uses the evil that Deacon Anders conjures to stop him.
Resolution: How does this resolution represent the âNew Waysâ and bring this story to a fitting conclusion?
ANSWER: Deacon Anders is kicked out of the Catholic church and he loved being part of the church. Bethany accepts that she is worthy of love. She also provides her spiritual services to those in need. She doesnât have to hide who she is in her relationships.
Weak? Yes. I think Deacon Anders isnât punished enough. Also, I might want to revisit the idea that Bethany provides counseling for parents of formerly possessed children.
Confusing? [BRAINSTORM ALERT Defrocking is such a strange punishment cinematically. Might need to have him actually stripped of his robes and like kicked out.]
Vague? No
Does it deliver well on that Beat?
Decent. Need to elevate Deacon Andersâ fate and bring Bethany full circle on her journey with helping the youths. There are new ways in play for sure, but maybe needs to be more satisfying.
New Ways: What are the New Ways and do they clearly show up in your lead characterâs Act 4 behavior and dialogue?
ANSWER: The new ways are that 1) Bethany doesnât have to hide her past from her relationships anymore, 2) Bethany has new friends who look out for her and tell her sheâs worthy of love (Amy, Brad), 3) Bethany knows that her Foster Kids love her no matter what (resumes volunteering w them) 4) She believes in her spiritual power and uses it confidently to help others (helps Robby) 5) She is ready to be loved by a man who appreciates a strong woman and wonât run away (date w Koju).
Weak? No. [Brainstorm Alert]
Itâs pretty good but there are some payoffs that would be cool to see. Confusing? No.
Vague? No.
Does it deliver well on that Beat? Yes. She is practicing the new ways. Does she go to church with a new priest?
3. For any of the answers that feel weak or confusing or vague or that don’t deliver well on that beat, brainstorm stronger answers.
Brainstormed Changes
Opening
Father Ptolemy could say heâs not enough and can tell Deacon Anders to stow his fear and join them because together they can save Bethany otherwise they are going to lose her. That makes Bethanyâs struggle to say the prayer more meaningful, in her weakened state, she is still able to provide the second energy that will save her.
Opening and throughout: Bethany should struggle with the idea that sheâs unlovable. She can speak to it a few times, but this fear needs to always be present.
Inciting Incident:
She could kiss him and say no one should have to wait 12 years for a good kiss.
When she fights with Deacon Anders about the date, she can mention that this type of thing never happens to her. The Deacon could point out that she dates all the time and she can say sheâs never had a meet cute. Usually itâs just some guy online going, hey youâre cute, wanna get a drink. Or she messages them and they finally get back to her. No one actively seeks her out. No one ever buys her coffee. No one has ever told her that her kiss ruined them for other kisses.
ACT 1 TP
She should be more heart broken about Brad ditching her. To show her disappointment, she can ask if Brad is maybe still there in hopes that he didnât just leave. The message to stay away should hurt her. One of the men escorting her out could touch her shoulder and she could wince from the pain. Maybe she makes the vow to the Maitreâd and he could say whatever you have to do to fix your life but please donât do it here a minute longer. Get out.
Brad needs to react to the fork and he needs to say something about it not happening again. Or he canât afford another attack from a flying fork and shows her several stab marks from a fork. He needs to say heâs sorry for what happened to her but he canât have another fork stab him. Then reveals his stomach, side.
ACT 2 New Plan
Need to establish during their fight that Deacon Andersâs tells her if Brad gets hurt from demonic activity during their date, then the Deacon is going to do something like send her to a convent or something – stop her in some way and this makes her not want to seek out his help. Maybe he says heâll have her saying the rosary for a week. She could realize he doesnât offer any real help and maybe she could say as much in the heat of the argument. Also when she watches him outside the church, she can maybe reiterate the ârosary for a weekâ statement.
Or maybe he just straight up says heâll find a way to stop her from endangering the next one.
MP TP
Why doesnât she give Deacon Anders the benefit of the doubt and ask him if he had the tape and lost it or had it stolen. Thatâs what sheâs doing in the rectory. She was going to talk to him. Maybe thatâs what she mentions to Hazel. She was going to ask him about home videos or something vague. Or instead of talking to Hazel she can tell Amy that she was going to ask him in the rectory and left. He needs to address this in their conversation at the cafe.
ACT 3 TP
When Deacon Anders has Demon 23 possess Koju just to stick it to Bethany, he can actuallyremind her that he said he would stop her if she kept dating and risking guys being harmed by Deamon 23.
Crisis
Is he framing just like her or is he in between her framed hands. Maybe it’s like a battery. If doing any of these spells knocks Bethany out then maybe Demon 23 is the power she needs to sustain the spell and push it even further. He takes it into the soul like he brought Koju into Bethanyâs soul/safe space. So she should say: I have them framed, send it into their souls or just scream into their souls!
Resolution
Deacon Anders needs a better comeuppance. So he should be stripped of god robes and kicked out. Go forth in peace and they literally push him out. Her say he needs his passport and they can say everything you have we own so sorry. Or they can tell him to wait and theyâll get his passport and then the cops come to take him back to the states for attempted murder charges.
Or heâs in prison already and heâs called in to ask if her wants to be the prison chaplain and then it could turn out to be a prank and they could say they know heâs been defrocked and they can call him a Satanist.
It would be great if Bethany counseled parents of recently possessed children to not be scared and soleil and the others come to the group home to work with the kids on a volunteer level. Or Bethany brings them to the center to learn from the group.
Resolution – New Ways
Could use that balance of Bethany working with previously possessed children. And introducing her kids to her spiritual team.
Also when she clears that kid at dinner, she should give him the card of the spiritual center and tell him heâs going to need it for later or maintenance and she works with mothers to help them by cursing their children.
Consider making Demon 23 possess Brad so he can try to be with Bethany. But then Brad’s gf comes and Bethany sends him on his way.
-
Tashaâs Filled In Missing Scenes!
Doing this assignment, I learned: When the bones are there, itâs easy to see the gaps. And once you fill those scenes in, the story really starts to get fleshed out and feel like a story.
1.Tell us what scenes you added and why.
I added the following scenes:
Added: New opening at the confessional that recaps Bethanyâs most disastrous dates.
Reason: I really wanted to show Bethany bad luck with dating to set-up her journey and her goals and to explore what it would be like if you had a stigma attached to your dating, self-imposed or not.
Added: A scene where Demon 23 is at the foster kids facility.
Reason: I wanted the kids to represent the different facets of Bethanyâs heart. I also wanted to show that she is a loving person and has a lot of love to give.
Added:A scene where Bethany has to say goodbye to her kids and explains she has to go away for their safety.
Reason: When Bethany realized Demon 23 is back and tormenting her, the last thing she wants to do is put her kids in peril.
Added: Projects a message of love to Brad
Reason: We had the scene that resulted from this action, but it seemed a little bit harder to understand and less impactful without this scene to set it up.
Added: Bethany sees part of Kojuâs conversation with Demon 23 where Demon 23 makes the epiphany.
Reason: I thought this was a good transition and it also created better pacing. Also, the conversation is referenced in the Climax and I thought it would be fun to see a snippet of it.
2. For each missing scene, create a quick outline.
INT. CHURCH – DAY
Beginning: Bethany is in the confessional talking to Deacon Anders about her most recent dates.
Middle: She describes 3 terrible dates.
End: Deacon Anders suggests that she cancel the latest date and then says heâll see her at the cafe the following day to go over the church newsletter.
INT. YOUTH HOME – DAY
Beginning: Bethany helps a group of kids with their homework.
Middle: They goad her into talking about her date with Ben by accusing her of being boring.
End: They tell her they love her and stupid Ben is stupid and should have stayed for their date even if sheâs boring. Bethany sees some activity in the play room that puts her on alert even though it can be explained away.
INT. YOUTH HOME – DAY
Beginning: Bethany asks the kids to meet her in the homework room because she has a few things to talk to them about.
Middle: She tells them she has to go away for a little while. She needs to figure something out before she can come back.
End: The kids are sad and some start to cry. They worry she wonât come back and that she doesnât care about them anymore. She tells them she will do everything she can to come back. She leaves broken-hearted.
INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT
Beginning: Bethany gets out a picture of the foster kids and frames it with her hands. She tells them she loves them and to be safe.
Middle: She finds her old junior high book and finds the picture of Brad. He has acne.
End: She frames him with her hands and tells him she wishes him nothing but peace and love. She understands why he reacted the way he did. She forgives him and tells him she will always care about that little boy in junior high.
INT. UNKNOWN ROOM – DAY
Beginning: Bethany sees Koju and Demon 23 standing and talking to each other.
Middle: She doesnât understand what she hears but Koju seems to be guiding Demon 23 to a conclusion.
End: Demon 23 has an epiphany of some sort and Bethany regains consciousness.
3. Write a high speed first draft for the most important of those scenes.
INT. CONFESSIONAL – DAY (intercut between the left and right side at needed)
BETHANY, 26 y.o., still blonde, cute, a funky Barbie, sits in a confessional awaiting the priest.
The window opens and Bethany can see movement behind the screen.
BETHANY
Forgive me father for I have sinned. Itâs been 3 days since my last confession.
Deacon Anders, [insert description], nods his head.
DEACON ANDERS
Confess my child.
BETHANY
Well, father, I lied. Three times. I lied three times.
DEACON ANDERS
Why did you lie, my child.
BETHANY
I lied while I was on a date.
DEACON ANDERS
Is this 3 lies on the same date or a lie per date?
BETHANY
A lie per date.
DEACON
What were the lies?
EXT. BUSY BEACH FRONT PROMENADE – DAY
Bethany, side ponytail, cute dress, skates while holding hands with MAC, 27 y.o., muscular, wife beater, ripped jeans. He wears big black lace up boots. He does not skate.
They walk/skate up to an ice cream parlor. Thereâs a sign that says NO SKATES.
Mac spots a very sexy lady in a bikini inside.
MAC
Oh no, you canât go in.
BETHANY
I can take off my skates.
She rolls over to a nearby fountain and sits down.
BETHANY
Just give me a minute.
MAC
That will take too long. Iâm happy to go in and get you an ice cream. Whatâs your favorite flavor?
BETHANY
I donât really have one. I was hoping to look at the menu.
MAC
No problem. Iâll just get you my favorite flavor, mint chocolate chip. How does that sound?
Bethany tries to hide her grimace.
BETHANY
Delicious.
MAN
Great.
Mac gets up and goes inside. Bethany watches him as he waits in line. She sees him get a text message. He seems shocked out of his mind. He gets called up to the counter and shows the ice cream scooper the video. Then he calls the sexy girl over and she looks at the video. He points at Bethany over at the fountain and they clearly start talking about her. The ice cream scooper give him two ice creams and he hands one two the bikini girl.
Mac and the bikini girl walk out of the ice cream store feeding each other ice cream. They walk in a direction opposite of the fountain. Bethany scrambles to get up but loses her footing and falls into the fountain.
INT. CONFESSIONAL – DAY (intercut between the left and right side at needed)
Deacon Anders holds his steepled fingers to his chin.
BETHANY
Can you spot the lie there?
DEACON ANDERS
Was it about the ice cream?
BETHANY
Yes, I hate mint chocolate chip.
DEACON ANDERS
Mmmm-hmm. And what about the second date? The second lie.
BETHANY
That one was a little different.
INT. BAR – NIGHT
Bethany looks cute with another sassy side pony and a spaghetti strap max dressed cinched tight to show off her small waist.
Sheâs dressed too cute for the dive bar.
She spots LIAM, 35, skinny, punk-rocker type, weathered and ruddy, hot in a craggley stubbed out cigarette kind of way.
Bethany waves and takes a seat next to Liam at the bar.
LIAM
(Slurring)
Hi Beautiful.
He slobbers a kiss hello all over Bethany.
BETHANY
Have you been hear for a while.
LIAM
Naaaaaaaah.
He tries for another kiss and Bethany dodges and guides him back to his drink on the bar.
He laughs gleefully, grabs his drink and roughly throws an arm around Bethanyâs neck and brings her in close.
LIAM
Would you like a drink?
BETHANY
I think one is definitely in order. Iâll have what youâre having.
LIAM
Ha! Good girl!
Liam addresses the 10 or so patrons in bar.
LIAM
Hey everybody! This is Brenda!
BETHANY
Bethany.
Liam releases her.
LIAM
Bethany? I thought your name was Brenda.
(To the bar)
Bethany. Bethany? BrendâBethany. This is Bethany.
Bartender walks over to Bethany.
BARTENDER
What will it be love?
BETHANY
Iâll have what heâs having, I guess.
The bartender gives he a Dubois look.
BARTENDER
Heâs drink a whiskey double straight up.
BETHANY
Oh, thank just a beer. Anything light.
BARTENDER
Coming right up.
Liam throws another arm around Bethany.
LIAM
Brenda, have you ever had a supernatural experience?
Bethany looks shrinks back from him in a guilty manner.
BETHANY
No. Why do you ask that?
Because I suspect youâre about to have one.
Liam leans over and vomits on her shoes. He vomits so hard he falls off his stool and rolls into the vomit.
LIAM
(Playing in the vomit)
I just Exocisted.
INT. CONFESSIONAL – DAY (intercut between the left and right side at needed)
Deacon Anders rests his face in his hand. He is almost at a lost for words.
DEACON ANDERS
And so the lie for that one would be that you have experienced the supernatural.
BETHANY
Yes.
DEACON ANDERS
Why did you lie.
BETHANY
Because I didnât want any questions.
DEACON ANDERS
Okay. And the third?
BETHANY
Oh, it went really well.
DEACON ANDERS
Are you lying?
BETHANY
Yes.
DEACON ANDERS
Is that the third lie?
BETHANY
Yes.
DEACON ANDERS
Why did you lie?
BETHANY
BecauseâŠ
INT. RUN DOWN APARTMENT – NIGHT
Bethany is in a cute cocktail dress and high heels. She holds a screaming, dirty faced baby while SHAUN, 27 y.o., mullet for style, black graphic tee with sexist logo, and CHLOE, 24 y.o., overweight, midriff, make out noisily and hungrily on a couch.
INT. CONFESSIONAL – DAY (intercut between the left and right side at needed)
Deacon Anders shakes his head.
DEACON ANDERS
So Shaun?
BETHANY
Was my date.
DEACON ANDERS
And the baby was?
BETHANY
Shaunâs baby, yes.
DEACON ANDERS
And Chloe was the babyâs mother?
BETHANY
No, the next door neighbor.
DEACON ANDERS
Okay. Are you sorry for sinning?
BETHANY
For these and all sins, I am truly sorry.
DEACON ANDERS
Great. Say five Hail Marys and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, Iâll say the rest later, but I have to go.
BETHANY
Amen.
DEACON ANDERS
Go in peace.
BETHANY
Thanks be to God.
DEACON ANDERS
Iâll meet you outside.
INT. CHURCH – DAY
Father Deacon meets Bethany outside the confessional.
DEACON ANDERS
Those were some dates. I wouldnât wish them on my worst enemy.
BETHANY
Thanks.
DEACON ANDERS
Do you have any others lined up.
BETHANY
Just one tonight.
DEACON ANDERS
Are you sure you want to go through with it.
BETHANY
Like they say, no pain, no gain.
DEACON ANDERS
Yeah, but it’s mostly pain.
BETHANY
Iâm still optimistic.
DEACON ANDERS
Is that what it is?
SISTER RENEE, 50s, white hair, slim build, modern habit with sweater and skirt singles Deacon Anders .
DEACON ANDERS
I got to go. See you tomorrow at [Insert Cafe name] to work on the newsletter?
BETHANY
Yes.
Deacon Anders joins up with Sister Renee and they leave the chapel.
Bethany watches after them and exits the chapel through a side door.
INT. YOUTH HOME – DAY
Bethany sits at a table in the homework room helping SHIRLEY, 13 y.o., curly chestnut hair, freckles on her nose with math.
BETHANY
And thatâs how you solve for X. Make sense?
SHIRLEY
Yeah, I think so.
BETHANY
Try the next one.
She watches Shirley work the problem, when she feels someone tug her shirt at the elbow.
She looks down and sees Bridgy, 5 y.o., skinny, darling little button nose.
BETHANY
Hi Bridgy. What can I help you with.
BRIDGY
I broke my crayon.
Bridgy holds up a purple crayon missing itâs tip.
BETHANY
No problem.
She grabs the crayon and uses a sharpen on the table to give it a point again. She looks back at Shirleyâs work.
BETHANY
See you got it.
She hands Bridgy her crayon.
BETHANY
Donât forget to show me what you draw.
BRIDGY
When Iâm finished.
JAMIE, 17 y.o., REGINA, 15 y.o., CHANTAL, 16 y.o., BARTHOLOMEW, 17 y.o., JACKON 14 y.o., and SERGE 10 y.o., approach the table.
Bethany looks up.
BETHANY
Yes?
JAMIE
Thereâs nothing to do.
BETHANY
Define nothing.
JACKSON
Canât you entertain us or something.
REGINA
Yeah, tell us about your date with that Ben guy.
BETHANY
Not everyone is done with their homework.
SERGE
You know, youâre lucky we have affection for you because youâre pretty boring.
BETHANY
You know, Serge, I think youâre onto something. Maybe thatâs why Ben left me in the middle of our date.
CHANTAL
He left you in the middle of your date?
BRIDGY
Heâs a stupid.
BETHANY
Bridgy, thatâs not nice.
CHANTAL
But he was a stupid. He should have stayed on the date, even if youâre boring.
The kids all agree with her.
BETHANY
Thanks guys.
Bethany stands up.
BETHANY
You all get a big hug from me. Come on, get in here.
She opens her arms wide and the kids all squeeze into a group hug.
She smiles and looks up.
She sees several small numbs of crayon from the pile Bridgy was drawing with all stacked on top of each other in a straight line. She narrows her eyes as if she canât believe what she sees.
BETHANY
Bridgy, did you stack the crayons.
Bridgy looks up from the group hug.
BRIDGY
What?
BETHANY
The crayons.
Bethany looks back at the stack, but the crayon lay in a pile.
Bethany stares at the pile.
BETHANY
Never mind.
INT. YOUTH HOME – DAY
Regina, Jackson, Serge, Jaime, Bartholomew, sit on a big couch in the homework room. Chantal sits in a reading chair with Bridgy on her lap. Shirley sits on a pillow on the ground.
They all look up at Bethany who stands in the center of the room. Her arm in a sling.
REGINA
So whatâs up, Beth? Why you call us in here.
BETHANY
I wanted to tell you guys that I have to go away for a while.
JAMIE
I knew it. Sheâs leaving us.
BETHANY
No, itâs not like that. I donât want to leave. I really want to stay and see you guys every day.
BRIDGY
Then stay, Beth.
BETHANY
Oh, Bridgy. I canât.
BARTHOLOMEW
Why, then? And donât bullshit us.
BETHANY
Please watch your language.
CHANTAL
Heâs right. Donât bullshit us.
BETHANY
Okay. There are some things in my life that are getting out of hand. And itâs getting dangerous.
REGINA
Mmmhmm. Is that why your armâs in a sling? Same shit happens to my mom. Is it an ex?
BETHANY
It is someâŠone from my past. And heâs starting to act out. And heâs targeting people I care about. So until I can stop him, I canât be here. I canât bring anything bad here. If something were to happen to one of you, I think that would be it for me.
JACKSON
We donât care. Weâll protect you. Youâre our boring Bethany and we wonât let anyone hurt you.
The group echoes Jacksonâs sentiment.
BETHANY
I appreciate that so, so much. But Iâm the adult and I have to protect you. So I have to go. Please donât be mad at me.
The group stays silent.
BETHANY
Itâs okay if you are. I just wanted you to know that I love you guys and Iâm going to try very hard to get this all taken care of as fast as I can, so I can come back to you.
Some of the kids start to cry.
BETHANY
Group hug?
Serge runs out of the room.
Jackson chases after him.
REGINA
You better go Bethany. Iâll try to help them understand, but right now, it just feels like youâre abandoning us.
Bethany nods sadly and tries to smile through her tears.
BETHANY
I understand. I better go now. Please look after each other and be safe.
She exits the room.
EXT. GROUP HOME – DAY
Bethany exits the house. Itâs pouring rain, but she doesnât notice.
She walks to her car and looks back at the house.
She sees Bridgy watching her from the window. Bridgy waves goodbye. Bethany waves back and then Bridgy disappears from the window.
Bethany enters her car and ugly cries.
INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT
Bethany looks at the picture of the kids from the group home that is pinned to her cork board. She studies the picture of silly faces and poses.
She smiles.
BETHANY
(to the picture)
I sure do miss you guys.
She raises her hands up and frames the picture.
BETHANY
I wrap each one of you up in a hug. Feel my love. Carry it with you. Know that I am always with you. I send protection with this love so you will always be safe.
She lowers her hands.
BETHANY
Iâm working hard guys. I canât wait to see you and bore you with all the new stuff I learned. And maybe one day, if all goes well, I can finally tell you about a date that doesnât suck.
Bethany chuckles to herself.
BETHANY
Speaking of which, I think Bob was right.
She walks over to her walk shelf and retrieves her junior high yearbook from the bottom row.
Opening the book to her class year, she searches the little squares for a minute or two before she finds him, 14 y.o. Brad. Cute but dorky with a little bit of acne sprinkled here and there.
It makes Bethany smile. But the smile is a little sad.
She walks over to her desk and sets the book down while keeping it opened on Bradâs picture.
She frames the picture with her hands.
BETHANY
Brad, I wish you nothing but peace and love. I understand why you reacted to me the way you did and I forgive you. I will always care about the little boy from junior high.
INT. UNKNOWN ROOM – DAY
Bethany floats in a white space. She is disoriented but calm. She hears voices below her and rotates around until she can see whoâs talking.
Koju and Demon 23 stand next to each other. They are engaged in quiet conversation. Bethany can barely pick up what they are saying.
KOJU
Why her?
DEMON 23
Because of her light.
KOJU
Her light is pure love, man.
DEMON 23
We donât have that where I come from.
KOJU
So did you want the light because you wanted the love.
DEMON 23
But all I know is pain and fear.
Bethany is fascinated by what they are saying and tries to get closer to the conversation.
KOJU
So you used what you were taught to go after–
DEMON 23
After the light. I thought I had to extinguish it because I didnât know any other way.
KOJU
But now you do.
DEMON 23
But now I do.
Bethany is on the cusp of understanding, but then she regains consciousness and is whisked back to reality.
-
Tashaâs Act 4 Resolution
Doing this assignment, I learned: It’s fun to resolve things.
1. Outline Key Scene 4.
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Beginning: At a restaurant, Bethany approaches a guy spazzing out during a date.
Middle: She tells him his mother evoked a demon to stop him from finding a partner and leaving her. She whispers the demonâs name to the guy and the demon visibly rises out of him and shrinks into another dimension. The guy thanks her as his date arrives.
End: She walks to her table where she takes a seat opposite her date. Koju asks where she learned how to deal with demons. And she says some guy helped her figure it out. Koju said, it wasnât that guy, it was all her. She tells him she was once possessed and does it make him want to run. And he says no and that he also was possessed. She asks how that went and he said he and his demon got along. He doesnât understand what all the fuss is about. Bethany fein insult – well I guess we all handle our demons differently. Koju says now that sheâs handled hers, is she ready to fall in love?
2. Write Key Scene 4: Resolution â Wrap it up and show us the ânew normal.â
INT. CHURCH – NIGHT
Bethany wakes up. She is tied to a self-standing rack that is set up in front of the altar.
Koju moans next to her. He is unconscious and tied another self-standing rack.
She only has a moment to cast a wild glance around the packed church and take in the bishop sitting in the front pew before the lights are lowered. A screen descends in front of the sculpture of Jesus on the Cross and a video begins to play on it.
The crowd gasps in shock as Bethanyâs exorcism unfolds onscreen in an edited version.
The lights come back on and Deacon Anders, holding a mic, walks over to Bethany.
DEACON ANDERS
Now, dear audience, and the participants from the Vatican that are watching the live stream of tonightâs event have just witnessed an exorcism that I was a part of several years ago. I believe that the young girl in that video attracted her demon to her due to a low character and a low standing with God. Her father attested to that fact. And I have it on good authority that she is still plagued by evil. For this is Bethany Sawyer.
(He gestures to Bethany)
She is the young girl in the video.
Gasps come from the crowd.
DEACON ANDERS
For her safety and for yours, she has agreed to be restrained before you today.
Bethany tries to speak to say heâs lying, but sheâs still paralyzed.
Seated in one of the pews, MICKEY, 68 y.o., aggressively short hairdo, with earrings and a cat on her sweatshirt, leans over to her friend TILLY, 67, curly hair, make-up, purple quilted vest and dark purple slacks.
MICKEY
If sheâs so evil, why did she agree to restrain herself?
TILLY
Itâs probably a trick to lull us into a sense of safety before whamo! She possesses us all.
Mickey narrows her eyes to see if what Tilly is saying rings true.
MICKEY
I do feel safe with her tied up.
DEACON ANDERS
Bethany is still plagued by the demon that Father Ptolemy neglected to remove that day. I was a young clergyman unexperienced in the realm of exorcism, so I couldnât recognize the signs of one that was ineffectively performed. I couldnât understand what happened at the time, but I knew I had to keep an eye on Bethany. I had to be vigilant should the evil return and use Bethany as a tool of corruption once again. And Iâm sorry to say, ladies and gentleman, it did returned and it has used her, slowly, insidiously, since that botched exorcism so long ago. And the result? She has brought her demon this poor young man and it has possessed him.
As if on cue, Kojuâs eyes fly open and he begins to writhe and thrash and gnash his teeth in an animalistic way.
The crowd collectively reacts in horror.
DEACON ANDERS
But have no fear! Truly. Since my days under Father Ptolemy, I have trained and studied. And I have been given a divine gift! I have been given the gift of letting God act through me to command the unholy demons that plague his innocent flock. I have been given the ability to hold dominion over any and all of the devilâs soldier that seek to steal the souls of the meek like this young man here. And so bear witness to Godâs power as I free this man from the evil clutches of Satan and exorcise him of Bethanyâs demon!
Deacon Anders places his hand on Kojuâs head and recites an incantation he has remembered from his Spell Book.
DEACON ANDERS
[Insert Summoning Spell]
Kojuâs boy contorts violently and unnaturally as a demonic scream emits from his mouth. Demon 23 in black cloud form rises up out of Koju through his mouth and hovers over Koju per the spells instruction.
Koju can barely lift his head, he is so weak.
KOJU
What happened?
Kojuâs head flops back on the rack as he passes out.
DEACON ANDERS
And now, in a demonstration of true divine power and a complete command of the duality of possession and exorcism, I will return the demon to his original host in an attempt to banish it once and for all and free this wretched soul.
BETHANY
What?
Deacon Anders smiles at Bethany and then faces the crowd with a more solemn look.
DEACON ANDERS
Donât fear. This will only go wrong if her soul has already been lost to the devil, but either way, the demon will be expelled back to Hell.
Bethany tries to struggle but to no avail.
DEACON ANDERS
[Insert Spell]
Bethanyâs body goes rigid against the rack. Her mouth is forced open by the spell and the dark cloud of Demon 23 enters her.
Bethanyâs eyes roll back in her head and she passes out against the rack.
INT. BETHANYâS SOUL – DAY
Bethany walks around a space that looks like the coffee shop only itâs really bright, clean and empty. She takes a seat at one of the tables.
BETHANY
Where am I?
Koju enters the space and sits at the table.
KOJU
Your soul.
BETHANY
Why does my soul look like the coffee shop?
KOJU
If I had to guess, itâs because itâs your happy place?
BETHANY
That checks out. Why are you here?
KOJU
He brought me.
Demon 23 enters the space.
Bethany jumps out of her seat.
BETHANY
What the fuck!
KOJU
Bethany!
BETHANY
(to Demon 23)
Get the fuck out!
KOJU
Bethany, you brought him here.
Bethany looks at Koju accusingly.
BETHANY
What?
KOJU
You invited him here.
DEMON 23
You brought us into your soul, which is something I always tried to get ahold of. But now Iâm a guest because everything is on your terms. Something like me can only be here if you want me here. All that spiritual work youâve been doing on yourself.
BETHANY
I donât understand.
KOJU
Apparently when Deacon Anders tried to possess you by sending Demon 23 into you, your spiritual strength took away the power of the spell and placed us here, in this very controlled environment.
BETHANY
Iâm sorry. Why are you here again?
DEMON 23
When I was sent into his body, we got to talking and he made me see some things about myself that I hadnât understood or realized before. And heâs such a nice guy.
BETHANY
So?
KOJU
So, he understood that he needed to tell you a few things and he thought that maybe I could mediate.
Bethanyâs face drops
BETHANY
Like coupleâs therapy?
KOJU
Well, sort of.
BETHANY
Weâre not a couple.
KOJU
Youâve been together for several months now. And you have history.
Bethanyâs eyes widen in disbelief at what Koju is saying.
KOJU
What would it cost you to hear him out?
BETHANY
Um, heâs a demon. Manipulative, evil, wants my soul.
DEMON 23
I donât want that anymore. Can I please sit?
BETHANY
No.
KOJU
Bethany.
BETHANY
No, Koju.
KOJU
(to Demon 23)
Sit.
Demon 23 sits down.
BETHANY
My terms, my ass.
DEMON 23
Look, Bethany. I will tell you my name right now and you can cast me out of here and away from you forever, but I need to tell you a few things first.
Bethany sits back in her chair and crosses her arms.
BETHANY
Whatever.
DEMON 23
First of all, Iâm sorry. For everything. For possessing you when you were a kid. For messing up your dates with Brad and that Ben guy. For breaking your shelf. All of it.
Bethany rolls her eyes.
DEMON 23
And Iâve come to realize that I was acting out of jealousy. I didnât want anyone but me to have you. And through talking to Koju, I realized that it wasnât really about possessing your soul, but more about maybe possessing your heart.
BETHANY
What?
DEMON 23
I know, I know. It sounds crazy and at first I was just as shocked by it as you are. But it makes sense. The attachment, that was something I wanted. The guys I chased away. Getting physical with you in the bathroom. Iâm ashamed and I would take it back if I could.
BETHANY
So what am I supposed to do? Forgive you?
DEMON 23
No. Iâm not asking you to. But you should use me?
Bethanyâs brow furrows in confusion.
DEMON 23
Deacon Anders lied. Father Ptolemy successfully exorcised me that day.
BETHANY
Then how did you come back?
DEMON 23
Deacon Anders summoned me and created the attachment using a curse. He wants me to destroy not just your dating life, but you. And he wants to destroy you as his final gambit for the papacy.
BETHANY
I thought he just wanted to be Bishop.
DEMON 23
No, he wants power. The top brass. He figured if he could master the dark arts and create a narrative that you needed corrective exorcising, then he could lure the bishop here and it would be a big thing when heâŠ
BETHANY
When heâŠ
DEMON 23
Possessed the Bishop with the demon that kills you, kinda like supernatural leverage to get the Vatican to play ball with him. I mean, if he can send demons into people, what will make him stop at the Pope.
BETHANY
Iâm sorry, go back to the part about the demon that kills me.
DEMON 23
He plans to mark you for death and heâs going to finish you off with a spell and say that I killed you because your soul wasnât pure or some shit. And then heâs going to make me hop out of you and jump into the bishop.
BETHANY
If he thinks heâs going to kill me, he has another thing coming.
DEMON 23
Bethany, heâs deadly with that Spellbook. And he has control over me when Iâm not in here.
BETHANY
So weâre doomed.
DEMON 23
There might be a way to defeat him. But youâll have to trust me.
BETHANY
Tell me your name and we have a deal.
INT. CHURCH – NIGHT
Bethany lies against the stand. Her eyes closed, her body tensed. She isnât doing much, and with Koju still unconscious, Deacon Anders becomes more theatrical to make up for his lackluster hostages.
DEACON ANDERS
She and the demon are now one! See how seamlessly she has accepted the grasp of evil? It is all too natural a fit, sheâs almost comatose. But donât be fooled! The demon duo are like a viper, ready to strike!
Suddenly Bethany opens her eyes.
The crowd startles as she stares at them wildly from eyes that now seemed rimmed with a red glow.
She tears both of her arms free from the rack, raises them in front of her and frames the crowd, like Bob taught her. She lets out a labored scream, the force of which rolls over the congregation like a sonic wave pushing people against their seats.
Bethany falls against the rack weakened from the exertion.
Deacon Anders grabs his bible and the book of dark arts and starts dousing her with holy water.
Bethanyâs eyes shoot open again and she cranes her neck at an unnatural angle to look at him.
DEACON ANDERS
[Insert Summoning Spell].
Suddenly dark mass after dark mass fly into the chapel.
DEACON ANDERS
It is what I feared! She is a conduit for all manner of demon.
The crowd screams as the demons swish around them.
DEACON ANDERS
Quick drop to your knees and prayer.
Some people fall to their knees to pray. Others cower in the pews. There lots of screaming and mayhem.
The Bishop jumps over the front of his pew and runs to Deacon Anders.
He grabs his hands.
BISHOP
Please, please protect me!
DEACON ANDERS
Of course, I will.
BISHOP
Then what are you waiting for?
DEACON ANDERS
Nothing. Itâs just you want me to save you from a demon.
BISHOP
Thatâs right.
DEACON ANDERS
What better way to do that than with an exorcism.
BISHOP
What? Iâm not possessed.
DEACON ANDERS
So you see my problem.
Deacon Anders looks past the Bishop and sees the dark shadow of a spirit come up behind the Bishop. It jumps on him and forces him to the ground as it enters him.
DEACON ANDERS
Thatâs much better. Now if you donât mind.
Deacon Anders grabs the Bishop by the leg and drags him to the center of the altar. He drops his leg and walks past him to get closer to the mayhem.
DEACON ANDERS
Our beloved Bishop has fallen prey to the evil that Bethany Sawyer has brought to our little church.
But I can still triumph! I will exorcise all of you poor souls!
BISHOP
But you canât.
The Bishop walks up to Deacon Anders. He is demon free.
BISHOP
You donât know how to expel Demons back Hell. You only know how to send them in and out of bodyâs, but the attachment remains.
DEACON ANDERS
How do you know that?
BISHOP
She showed me.
The Bishop gestures to Bethany on the altar. She is unbound and stands her ground.
BISHOP
That wave of energy that rolled over us was a projection spell. She was projecting a wall of protection around our souls. So none of these swirly cues are a danger to us. But just the same, she and her demon are going to send them all back to whence they came. And Iâll make sure you answer to the Pope after all this is over. Now Bethany!
Bethany closes her eyes and focuses. Then she opens her eyes and stares directly at Deacon Anders.
BETHANY
Demon 23! Rise!
The dark mass of Demon 23 rises from Bethany as she recites the Revealing spell from memory.
BETHANY
[Insert Revealing Spell]
Bethany raises her hands above her head and frames Demon 23.
BETHANY
Demon 23! Reveal that which is hidden!
Demon 23 manifests before the crowd into his demon form. The light from Bethanyâs mental projection emanates through him. Suddenly, all of the dark shadows manifest into demons.
Deacon Anders looks around the room wildly and is both shocked and terrified to be able to see them, too.
Everyone in the chapel can see the demons now.
The spell wakes up Koju, so he can see them, too.
And everyone can see the numbers that float above the demons and in front of them.
BETHANY
(to the entire chapel)
Keep an eye on those numbers.
Bethany concentrates.
The numbers turn to names.
BETHANY
Say your demonsâ names! Now!
Thereâs a flurry of chatter as the different members of the crowd say the name of the demonâs closest to them.
DEACON ANDERS
Stop!
He runs up to Bethany and grabs her by the neck.
Demon 23 is so distracted with sustaining Bethanyâs projection of the Revealing Spell that he doesnât see Deacon Anders wrestling Bethany over to where his Spellbook lies on the ground.
DEACON ANDERS
This evil must be stopped. She is doing the Devilâs bidding! Canât you see? No mind! I planned for this.
With a firm grip on Bethanyâs shoulder, he thrusts her forward revealing the back on her neck to the crowd.
He takes out a knife and quickly carves a pentagram into it. The blood drips down her neck from the carving.
KOJU
Stop!
Koju tries to get out of his bindings but he canât do it fast enough.
Continuing to hold her tightly, Deacon Anders flips to the page with the Death Curse.
The crowd is distracted with the act of saying demon names and kicking ass that no one tries to stop him.
KOJU
Somebody stop him!
Deacon Anders takes his knife and raises it above Bethanyâs body.
DEACON ANDERS
[Insert Death Curse]
Deacon Anders cuts himself off. He arches his body as if heâs been poked in the back really hard.
Deacon Anders slowly turns. Demon 23 stands before him.
DEACON ANDERS
Oh shit.
Deacon Anders tosses the knife.
Demon 23 violently dives onto Deacon Anders, forcing him to the ground. Then Demon 23 enters Deacon Anders through every orifice of his body.
Deacon Anders writhes around on the ground. A mixture of his screaming voice and the mocking voice of Demon 23 come out of him as Demon 23 ravages Deacon Anders.
Deacon Andersâs body knocks violently around, crashing into things, levitating and dropping suddenly.
His skin splits and lesions form all over him. Finally, Deacon Anders is forced to retrieve the knife from the ground. He struggles as he raises it up and holds it above him in the air.
DEACON ANDERS
I bind you to me Demon in the name of Christ! If I die, I take you with me.
DEMON 23
(talking through Deacon Anders)
Then so be it.
Deacon Anders brings the knife down.
BETHANY
Stop!
Bethany catches Deacon Anders knife-hand. She glows with a glorious energy.
The crowd stops, arrested by Bethanyâs radiance.
Koju is in awe.
KOJU
Inner God power.
Bethany cups Deacon Andersâs chin gently in her hand and raises his face to hers. She looks deeply into his eyes.
BETHANY
Demon 23. You will not kill Priest Anders.
DEMON 23
(through Deacon Anders)
His soul is darker and more twisted than you know. He deserves to die.
BETHANY
No. I invited you into my soul, now I invite you into my heart. Feel the divinity of love through me.
Demon 23 lowers the knife.
BETHANY
And now through me you are protected and no longer bound to the Deacon Anders or to me. Please reveal yourself.
Demon 23 removes himself from Deacon Anders.
Bethany walks up to Demon 23 and smiles.
BETHANY
Thank you, Xavier.
Demon 23 disappears.
The congregation surrounds her in silent reverence.
She takes the knife and uses it to free Koju from his ropes.
She scoops up Deacon Andersâs Spell-book.
Koju hands her the bible and she places it on top of the Spell-book.
They leave the chapel.
INT. Room – Pope HQ – DAY
Deacon Anders sits in a small chair before a tribunal of seven Bishops. The Bishops are seated at a long table which towers over Deacon Anders.
The Pope sits to the side of the tribunal.
Cardinal Camerlengo, 78 y.o., jolly faced, black robes with red skull cap, addresses Deacon Anders.
CARDINAL CAMERLENGO
After having reviewed the evidence and testimony of Bishop [insert name] and after reviewing the livestream footage once again, we have a final ruling. In the name of Pope [insert name] you have been found guilty of practicing black magic and committing a grave sin against the Catholic Church. For the safety of the Catholic faith, Priest Deacon Anders is hereby defrocked. You are no longer a member of the Catholic Church and have no rights or privileges therein. We leave you in peace and may God have mercy on your soul.
The members of the tribunal get up and exit the room. The Pope is already gone. Deacon Anders looks around confused.
The room empties out completely leaving Deacon Anders by himself.
DEACON ANDERS
Thatâs it?
He gets up from his seat.
DEACON ANDERS
Hello?
His voice echoes in the empty room.
DEACON ANDERS
Hey! Someone has my passport.
He exits the room.
INT. CAFE – DAY
Bethany sheepishly walks up to the counter where Amy experiments with adding different syrups to an espresso like sheâs making a potion.
BETHANY
Hi.
AMY
(without looking up from her experiment)
You owe me a book.
BETHANY
I know. Iâm so sorry.
AMY
I guess I should have warned you not to let a demon rip it up. My bad.
BETHANY
How did you know?
AMY
Koju was here earlier. You know how rare some of those spells were? I mean the book actually tells you.
BETHANY
Right. I memorized the Revealing Spell because of what the book said.
Bethany places a very nice piece of paper with the spell typed on it. She even printed skulls and bats on it.
AMY
Skulls and bats?
BETHANY
I wanted to make it festive.
AMY
Alright. Iâll take it. But you still owe me a book.
BETHANY
I swear I wonât rest until I hunt it down.
Amy sighs her approval.
AMY
So Demon 23 is gone for good, huh?
BETHANY
Yeah.
AMY
So now youâre free and clear to date.
BETHANY
I donât know. I donât think my heartâs in it anymore.
AMY
You went through all that stuff and youâre heartâs not in it anymore. What about Koju?
BETHANY
What do you mean?
AMY
Get off it. You know what I mean. The boy got knocked out, tied up, possessed, all to help you.
BETHANY
I know, but–
AMY
But what? Donât you find him cute?
BETHANY
I do–
AMY
Then what?
The door of the cafe opens and Brad walks in. Amy spots him.
AMY
Oh, thatâs what.
Bethany turns around.
BRAD
Hi Bethany.
BETHANY
Brad?
BRAD
Can we talk?
EXT. PARK – DAY
Brad and Bethany walk in silence along a tree-lined path. The park is active but not too full and the occasional jogger passes by them.
BETHANY
So, how have you been?
Brad stops walking. Bethany follows suit.
BRAD
I know this might sound weird, butâŠmaybe not, uh, did you telepathically send me a message of peace, love and happiness?
Bethanyâs breath catches in her throat from a modicum of embarrassment.
BETHANY
Yes. I did do that. Sorry?
BRAD
No, you donât have toâŠI didnât mean to like accuse you. What I should say, what I want to say is thank you.
BETHANY
Huh?
BRAD
That was very nice. To know you felt that for me. Still. After I acted like such a coward.
BETHANY
You didnât act like a coward.
BRAD
No, I did. Iâve thought about it so much since our date and since receiving that video. I was scared, but what about you? You must have been so lonely for so long.
This surprises Bethany and she has to fight back tears.
BETHANY
Itâs fine.
BRAD
No it isnât. If I had just thought about that. I would have fought my fears to be there for you.
Bethany can no longer prevent the well from overflowing and a tear from each eye slides down her cheeks.
Brad reaches out and gently wipes one tear away with his thumb. He watches her eyes and switches his thumb to the other cheek to wipe the second tear.
BETHANY
Youâre here now keeping me company.
BRAD
And Iâm going to be there to keep you company in the futureâŠ
Bethany smiles.
BRAD
âŠas a friend.
BETHANY
[still smiling]
Oh.
BRAD
I met somebody.
BETHANY
Oh, Brad, thatâs great. Really great.
BRAD
Iâm sorry if that disappoints you.
BETHANY
No.
(laughing)
I mean yeah it does a little bit. But no, Iâm really happy for you. And thanks for asking me on a walk. It means a lot to me.
Brad shakes his head sadly.
BRAD
You are extraordinary.
BETHANY
Well, thanks.
BRAD
Please promise me you wonât stop looking for love.
BETHANY
I donât know, itâs so much more complicated now.
BRAD
Any complication or any demon is worth it, if it means somebody can be with you. I just wish I had seen it sooner.
Brad hugs Bethany. They smile at each other and resume their walk.
BETHANY
So how did you meet your girlfriend?
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Bethany enters the chichi restaurant in very fetching date attire. There is a new confidence about her. She still wears a side pony, glasses and a sweater, but she has more style and swagger now.
ROBBY, 24 y.o., timid, skinny with big hair, squirms spastically in his chair at a table. He seems very on edge with twitchy energy. He is alone.
Bethany spots him and walks over, taking the empty seat.
Robby is surprised to see her and looks around.
BETHANY
I take it you donât date much.
ROBBY
What makes you say that?
BETHANY
You seem very uncomfortable and kinda spastic.
ROBBY
No, I donât date a lot, but Iâm also not normally so, so what? This is not me. I just canât seem to calm down.
BETHANY
I think I can help.
BETHANY
[Insert Demon Tinder Spell]
Demon 45 reveals itself. [Insert Description of Demon 45]. He has a firm grip around Robâs shoulders.
BETHANY
(to Robby)
I see the problem.
(to Demon 45)
Why are you here?
Robby is confused.
ROBBY
Are you talking to me?
BETHANY
(responding to Demon 45)
Oh, really? Thatâs a touchy subject.
Robby waves his hand at Bethany.
ROBBY
Excuse me.
BETHANY
(responding to Demon 45)
No, Iâm not going to tell him. I think it should come from you. He might not believe it otherwise.
ROBBY
Hey!
Bethany looks at Robby.
BETHANY
Donât worry, I didnât forget you.
She stares deeply into his eyes, focusing her energy on his. She raises her hands so they frame either side of his head. Then she widens them to include Demon 45 in the frame.
Robby looks next to him and jumps. He can now see Demon 45.
BETHANY
(to Demon 45)
Wanna tell him what you told me?
DEMON 45
Hi there Robby.
Robby shrinks in terror and looks for an escape.
BETHANY
Stay put, Robby. Youâre gonna want to hear this.
DEMON 45
Your mom summoned me and attached me to you using a curse because she doesnât want you to meet anyone and leave her. Iâm here to create all of your weird energy to turn people off.
ROBBY
What?
BETHANY
[Insert Reveal Spell]
Demon 45âs name is revealed to be [Insert demon name].
BETHANY
See that name hanging over his head?
Robby looks up.
ROBBY
Yes?
BETHANY
Say it and heâll go back home and stop bothering you.
DEMON 45
That would be nice.
ROBBY
Really?
BETHANY
Wonât know until you try.
ROBBY
Okay. [Insert Demonâs name]
DEMON 45
It was nice doing business with ya.
Demon 45 shrinks until he disappears.
Bethany gets up from the table.
BETHANY
Enjoy your date.
Robby watches after her speechless.
WILL, 24 y.o., matching Robby in build and stature, sits down in the seat Bethany vacated.
WILL
Hi Robby, sorry Iâm late.
Robby whips his head back to see Will.
WILL
When I saw you with that girl, I was worried our date was off.
ROBBY
No way. She was just helping me with something. Iâm really glad we could meet up.
Will smiles.
IN ANOTHER PART OF THE RESTAURANT
Bethany walks up to another table.
BETHANY
Sorry, Iâm late. I had to take care of some business.
KOJU
No need to apologize.
Koju, dressed up in his finest dating outfit, gets out of his seat and gives Bethany a peck on her cheek. He pulls out her chair for her.
Bethany, happily surprised by the gesture, smiles and sits down.
BETHANY
Thank you.
Koju takes his seat.
KOJU
I saw you help that guy. He was pretty jittery.
BETHANY
He had a little something on him, so I expelled it.
Bethany pantomimes flicking something off her shoulder.
KOJU
Impressive. Where did you learn to do that?
BETHANY
Some guy helped me figure out how to do it.
KOJU
Iâm sure the guy had nothing to do with it. It was all you. You strike me as a very powerful individual.
BETHANY
Well, I have to be. I was once possessed. Oops!
Bethany slaps a hand over her mouth.
BETHANY
I never usually tell people that. It makes them want to run away from me. Do you want to run?
KOJU
Not at all. Actually, itâs kind of crazy that you were once possessed because I was also possessed.
BETHANY
Fascinating. How did that go?
KOJU
Great. My demon and I got along. I donât know what all the fuss is about.
Bethany laughs and then feigns insult.
BETHANY
Well, I guess we all handle our demons differently.
KOJU
So tell me, now that youâve handled your demon, are you ready to fall in love?
Bethany watches Koju with a playful smile on her face as she considers his question. She leans forward and they kiss.
FADE TO BLACK.
-
Tashaâs Act 4 Climax
Doing this assignment, I learned: Donât panic if your Climax takes a lot of pages to get through. Take your time and make sure youâre laying the foundations with the key points because it will ultimately make the scene stronger in rewrites.
1. Outline Key Scene 3.
INT. CHURCH – NIGHT
Beginning: Deacon Anders performs the âexorcismâ but secretly summons more demons. Deacon Anders tells everyone that Bethany is a conduit for demons and that the crowd is in peril because she has brought more demons into the church.
Middle: The dark spirits swirl around the room and the bishop is the first to become possessed followed by many others. Deacon Anders addresses the crowd and those on the lives stream that he will perform a mass exorcism. The Bishop comes on camera and tells the audience that he wonât. The Bishop seems completely free of demons.
Bethany is shielding him and everyone else by creating walls around their souls. With Demon 23âs help, Bethany performs the revealing spell and is able to visibly manifest the demons that are trying to invade them and their names. She urges the crowd to say their demonâs name. On the live stream, the Bishop names his demon. All are set free as the demons are banished.
End: Deacon Anders says this has been the work of the devil because Bethany had to unit forces with Demon 23 to put on such a show. He grabs her and starts to read the incantation for the death mark, but Demon 23 jumps into Deacon Anders and is about to destroy them both when Bethany intervenes with her awesome power. She exorcises Deacon Anders and sends Demon 23 back to his origins.
2. Write Key Scene 3: Climax â The Ultimate Expression of The Conflict.
INT. CHURCH – NIGHT
Bethany lies against the stand. Her eyes closed, her body tensed. She isnât doing much, and with Koju still unconscious, Deacon Anders becomes more theatrical to make up for his lackluster hostages.
DEACON ANDERS
She and the demon are now one! See how seamlessly she has accepted the grasp of evil? It is all too natural a fit, sheâs almost comatose. But donât be fooled! The demon duo are like a viper, ready to strike.
Suddenly Bethany opens her eyes!
The crowd startles as she stares at them wildly from eyes that now seemed rimmed with a red glow.
She tears both of her arms free from the rack, uses her hands to frame the crowd between them reminiscent of how she used them during her lessons with Bob. She lets out a labored scream, the force of which rolls over the congregation like a sonic wave pushing people against their seats.
Bethany falls against the rack weakened from the exertion.
Deacon Anders grabs his bible and the book of dark arts and starts dousing her with holy water.
Bethanyâs eyes shoot open again and she cranes her neck at an unnatural angle to look at him.
DEACON ANDERS
[Insert Summoning Spell].
Suddenly dark mass after dark mass fly into the chapel.
DEACON ANDERS
It is what I feared! She is a conduit for all manner of demons.
The crowd screams as the demons wish around them.
DEACON ANDERS
Quick drop to your knees and prayer.
The crowd falls to its knees and begins to pray, but itâs too late. Members of the flock fall to the ground and writhe in pain as their bodies are seemingly taken over by the dark shadows that have descended upon them.
The Bishop jumps over the front of his pew and runs to Deacon Anders.
He grabs his hands.
BISHOP
Please, please protect me, brother!
DEACON ANDERS
Of course, I will.
BISHOP
Then what are you waiting for?
DEACON ANDERS
Nothing. Itâs just you want me to save you from a demon.
BISHOP
Thatâs right.
DEACON ANDERS
What way to better save you than with an exorcism.
BISHOP
What? Iâm not possessed.DEACON ANDERS
So you see my problem.
Deacon Anders looks past the Bishop and sees the dark shadow of a spirit land on the Bishop and force him to the ground as it enters him.
DEACON ANDERS
Thatâs much better. Now if you donât mind.
Deacon Anders grabs the Bishop by the leg and drags him to the center of the altar. He drops his leg and walks past him to get closer to the mayhem.
DEACON ANDERS
Our beloved Bishop has fallen prey to the evil that Bethany Sawyer has brought to our little church.
But I can still triumph! I will exorcise all of you poor souls!
BISHOP
But you canât.
The Bishop walks up to Deacon Anders. He is demon free.
BISHOP
You donât know how to expel Demons back Hell. You only know how to send them in and out of bodyâs but the attachment remains.
DEACON ANDERS
How do you know that?
BISHOP
She showed me.
The Bishop gestures to Bethany on the altar. She is unbound and stands her ground.
BISHOP
That wave of energy that rolled over us was a projection spell. She was projecting a wall of protection around our souls. So none of these swirly cues are a danger to us. But just the same, she and her demon are going to send them all back to whence they came. And Iâll make sure you answer to the Pope after all this is over. Now Bethany!
Bethany closes her eyes and focuses. Then she opens her eyes and stares directly at Deacon Anders.
BETHANY
Demon 23! Rise!
Reveal that which is hidden!
The dark mass of Demon 23 rises from Bethany as she recites the Revealing spell from memory.
BETHANY
[Insert Revealing Spell]
Bethany raises her hands above her head and frames Demon 23.
BETHANY
Demon 23! Reveal that which is hidden!
Demon 23 manifests before the crowd into his demon form. The light from Bethanyâs mental projection emanates through him. Suddenly, all of the dark shadows manifest into demons.
Deacon Anders looks around the room wildly and is both shocked and terrified to be able to see them, too.
Everyone in the chapel can see the demons now. The spell wakes up Koju, so he can see them too. And they can see the numbers that float above them and in front of them.
BETHANY
[to the entire chapel]
Keep an eye on those numbers.
Bethany concentrates.
The numbers turn to names.
BETHANY
Say your demonsâ names! Now!
Thereâs a flurry of chatter as the different members of the crowd say the name of the demonâs closest to them.
DEACON ANDERS
Stop!
He runs up to Bethany and grabs her by the neck.
Demon 23 is so distracted with sustaining Bethanyâs projection of the Revealing Spell that he doesnât see Deacon Anders wrestling Bethany over to where his Dark Arts book lies on the ground.
DEACON ANDERS
This evil must be stopped. She is doing the Devilâs bidding! Canât you see. No mind! I planned for this.
With a firm grip on Bethanyâs shoulder, he thrusts her forward revealing the back on her neck to the crowd.
He takes out a knife and quickly carves a pentagram into it. The blood drips down her neck from the carving.
KOJU
Stop!
Koju tries to get out of his bindings but he canât do it fast enough.
Continuing to hold her tightly, Deacon Anders flips to the page with the Death Curse.
The crowd is distracted with the act of saying demon names and kicking ass that no one tries to stop him.
KOJU
Somebody stop him!
He takes his knife and raises it above Bethanyâs body.
DEACON ANDERS
[Insert Death Curse]
Deacon Anders interrupts the curse arching his body as if heâs been poked in the back really hard.
Deacon Anders slowly turns. Demon 23 stands before him.
DEACON ANDERS
Oh shit.
Deacon Anders tosses the knife.
Demon 23 violently dives onto Deacon Anders, forcing him to the ground. Then Demon 23 enters him through every orifice of his body.
Deacon Anders writhes around on the ground. A mixture of his screaming voice and the mocking voice of Demon 23 come out of him as Demon 23 ravages Deacon Anders.
Deacon Andersâs body knocks violently around, crashing into things, levitating and dropping suddenly.
His skin splits and lesions form all over him. Finally, Deacon Anders is forced to retrieve the knife from the ground. He struggles as he rises it up and holds it in the air.
DEACON ANDERS
I bind you to me Demon in the name of Christ! If I die, I take you with me.
DEMON 23
(talking through Deacon Anders)
Then so be it.
Deacon Anders brings the knife down.
BETHANY
Stop!
Bethany holds the knife. She glows with a glorious energy.
The crowd stops, arrested by Bethanyâs radiance.
Koju is in awe.
KOJU
Inner God power.
Bethany cups Deacon Andersâs chin gently in her hand and raises his face. She looks deeply into his eyes.
BETHANY
Demon 23. You will not kill Priest Anders.
DEMON 23
(through Deacon Anders)
His soul is darker and more twisted than you know. He deserves to die.
BETHANY
No. I invited you into my soul, now I invite you into my heart. Feel the divinity of love through me.
Demon 23 lowers the knife.
BETHANY
And now through me you are protected and no longer bound to the Deacon Anders or to me. Please reveal yourself.
Demon 23 removes himself from Deacon Anders.
Bethany walks up to Demon 23 and looks up into his eyes. He takes her hands.
She sees his name and smiles.
BETHANY
Thank you, Xavier.
Demon 23 disappears.
The congregation surrounds her in silent reverence.
She takes the knife and uses it to free Koju from his ropes.
She scoops up Deacon Andersâs dark arts book.
Koju hands her the bible and she places it on top of the dark arts book.
They leave the chapel.
-
Tashaâs Act 4 First Scenes
Doing this assignment, I learned: That reaction can be quick or they can build up over time. Whatever works best to keep you moving forward.
1. Outline Key Scene 1 and 2.
Outline Scene 1 – The Reaction
INT. CHURCH – NIGHT
Beginning: Bethany wakes up in her church chapel to find herself restrained on the altar. Koju is also restrained. The Bishop is there.
Middle: Deacon Anders plays a video (same video Bethany watches at Costco) of the exorcism of Bethany.
End: Deacon Anders tells his congregation that he will exorcise Koju and in a demonstration of the divinity that is working through him and the mastery of the occult it has given him, he will transfer the demon to Bethany. Bethany has to face the fear of possession once again.
Outline Scene 2 – Facing the dilemma
INT. BETHANYâS SOUL – DAY
Beginning: While unconscious, Bethany travels into her soul and meets Demon 23 and Koju. Koju conducts a couples therapy-esque session so Bethany and Demon 23 can hash out their issues.
Middle: Bethany learns that Demon 23 was conjured by Deacon Anders who is going to use both Bethany and Demon 23 to advance his career. He plans to possess the pope and heâs marked Bethany for death.
End: Bethany must delay her plans to break Demon 23âs attachment to her by banishing him so they can join forces and stop Deacon Anders.
2. Write Key Scene 1: Reaction to 3rd Act Turning Point.
INT. CHURCH – NIGHT
Bethany wakes up. She is tied to a self-standing rack that is set up in the front of the altar in the church.
Koju moans next to her. He is unconscious and also tied to a self standing rack.
She only has a moment to cast a wild glance around the packed church and take in the bishop sitting in the front pew before the lights are lowered and a video begins to play on the screen that has just descended in front of the Jesus on the Cross.
The crowd gasps in shock as Bethanyâs exorcism unfolds onscreen in an edited version.
The lights come back on and Deacon Anders, holding a mic, walks over to Bethany.
DEACON ANDERS
This is Bethany Sawyer. She is the young girl in the video.
Gasps come from the crowd.
DEACON ANDERS
For her safety and for yours, she has agreed to be restrained before you today.
Bethany tries to speak to say heâs lying, but sheâs still paralyzed.
DEACON ANDERS
Bethany is still plagued by the demon that Father Ptolemy negelected to exorcise from her that day. I was a young clergyman unexperienced in the realm of exorcism, so I couldnât recognize when one was performed incorrectly and therefore was ineffective. I couldnât understand what happened at the time, but I knew I had to keep and eye on Bethany. I had to vigilent against the evil should it return and use Bethany as a tool of corruption of innocence, which it has done, slowly, insiduously since that botched exorcism so long ago. And the result? She has brought her demon this poor young man and it has possessed him.
As if on cue, Kojuâs eyes fly open and he begins to writhe and thrash and knash his teeth in an animalistic way.
The crowd collectively reacts in horror.
DEACON ANDERS
But have no fear! Truly. Since my days under Father Ptolemy, I have trained and studied. And I have been given a divine gift! I have been given the gift of letting God act through me to command the unholy demons that plague his innocents of his flock. I have been given tha ability to hold dominion over any and all of the devilâs soldier that seek to steel the souls of the meek like this young man here. And so bear witness to Godâs power as I free this man from the evil clutches of Satan and exorcise him of Bethanyâs demon!
Deacon Anders places his hand on Kojuâs head and recites and incantation he has remembered from his Summoning Book.
DEACON ANDERS
[Insert Summoning Spell]
Kojuâs boy contorts violently and unnaturally as a demonic scream emits from his mouth. A black cloud rises up out of Koju through his mouth and hovers over Koju per the spells instruction.
Koju can barely lift his head, he is so weak.
KOJU
What happened?
Kojuâs head flops back on the rack as he passes out.
DEACON ANDERS
And now, in a demonstration of true divine power and a complete command of the duality of possession and exorcism, I will return the demon to his original host in an attempt to banish it once and for all and free this wretched soul.
BETHANY
What?
Deacon Anders smiles at Bethany and then faces the crowd with a more solem look.
DEACON ANDERS
Donât fear. This will only go wrong if her soul has already been lost to the devil, but either way, the demon will be expelled back to Hell once all is done.
Bethany tries to struggle but to no avail.
DEACON ANDERS
[Insert Spell]
Bethanyâs body goes rigid against the rack. Her mouth is forced open by the spell and the dark cloud of Demon 23 enters her.
Bethanyâs eyes roll back in her head and she passes out against the rack.
3. Write Key Scene 2: Protagonist faces their Dilemma.
INT. BETHANYâS SOUL – DAY
Bethany walks around a space that looks like the coffee shop only itâs really bright, clean and empty. She takes a seat at one of the tables.
BETHANY
Where am I?
Koju enters the space and sits at the table.
KOJU
Your soul.
BETHANY
Why does my soul look like the coffee shop.
KOJU
If I have to guess, itâs because itâs your happy place?
BETHANY
That checks out. Why are you here?
KOJU
He brought me.
Demon 23 enters the space.
Bethany jumps out of her seat.
BETHANY
What the fuck! Get out!
KOJU
Bethany!
BETHANY
(to Demon 23)
Get the fuck out!
KOJU
Bethany, you brought him here.
Bethany looks at Koju accusingly.
BETHANY
What?
KOJU
You invited him here.
DEMON 23
You brought us into your soul, which is something I was always trying to get ahold of. But now Iâm a guest because everything is on your terms. Something like me can only be here if you want me here. All that spiritual work youâve been doing on yourself.
BETHANY
I donât understand.
KOJU
Apparently when Deacon Anders try to possess you by sending Demon 23 into you, you spiritual strength took away the power of the spell and placed us here, in this very controlled environment.
BETHANY
Iâm sorry. Why are you here again?
DEMON 23
When I was sent into his body, we got to talking and he made me see some things about myself that I had understood or realized before. And heâs such a nice guy.
BETHANY
So.
KOJU
So, he understood that he needed to tell you a few things and he thought that maybe I could meditate.
Bethanyâs face drops
BETHANY
Like coupleâs therapy?
KOJU
Well, sort of.
BETHANY
Weâre not a couple.
KOJU
Youâve been together for several months now. And you have history.
Bethanyâs eyes widen in disbelief at what Koju is saying.
KOJU
What would it cost you to hear him out?
BETHANY
Um, heâs a demon. Manipulative, evil, wants my soul.
DEMON 23
I donât want that anymore. Can I please sit?
BETHANY
No.
KOJU
Bethany.
BETHANY
No, Koju.
KOJU
(to Demon 23)
Sit.
Demon 23 sits down.
BETHANY
My terms, my ass.
DEMON 23
Look, Bethany. I will tell you my name right now and you can cast me out of here and away from you forever, but I need to tell you a few things first.
Bethany sits back in her chair and crosses her arms.
BETHANY
Whatever.
DEMON 23
First of all, Iâm sorry. For everything. For possessing you when you were a kid. For messing up your dates with Brad and that Ben guy. For breaking your shelf. All of it.
Bethany rolls her eyes.
DEMON 23
And Iâve come to realize that I was acting out of jealousy. I didnât want anyone to have you but me. And through talking to Koju, I realized that it wasnât really about possessing your soul, but more about maybe possessing your heart.
BETHANY
What?
DEMON 23
I know, I know. It sounds crazy and at first I was just as shocked by it as you are. But it makes sense. The attachment, that was something I wanted. The guys I chased away. Getting physical with you in the bathroom. Iâm ashamed and I would take it back if I could.
BETHANY
So what am I supposed to do? Forgive you.
DEMON 23
No. Iâm not asking you to. But you should use me?
Bethanyâs brow furrows in confusion.
DEMON 23
Deacon Anders lied. Father Ptolemy successfully exorcised me that day.
BETHANY
Then how did you come back?
DEMON 23
Deacon Anders summoned me and created the attachment using a curse. He wanted me to destroy not just your dating life, but you. And he wanted to do it all in preparation for his final gambit for the papacy.
BETHANY
I thought he just wanted to be Bishop.
DEMON 23
No, he wants power. The top brass. He figured if he could master the dark arts and create a narrative that you needed corrected exorcising, then he could lure the bishop here and it would be a big thing when heâŠ
BETHANY
When heâŠ
DEMON 23
Possessed the Bishop with the demon that kills you, kinda like supernatural leverage to get the Vatican to play ball with him. I mean, if he can send demons into people, what will make him stop at the Pope.
BETHANY
Iâm sorry, go back to the part about the demon that kills me.
DEMON 23
He marked you for death and heâs going to finish you off with a spell and say that I killed you because your soul wasnât pure or some shit. And then Iâm supposed to hop out of you and jump into the bishop.
BETHANY
If he thinks heâs going to kill me, he has another thing coming.
DEMON 23
Bethany, heâs deadly with the spell. And he has control over me when Iâm not in here.
BETHANY
So weâre doomed.
DEMON 23
There might be a way to defeat him yet. But you will have to trust me.
BETHANY
Tell me your name and we have a deal.
-
Tashaâs Completed Act 3
Doing this assignment, I learned: itâs okay to let the characters talk even though a conversation might take pages and pages. Just get their words and thoughts down so you know the essence of the conversation.
Act 3:
INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY
Bethany stands at the order counter. On the staff-side of the counter, Amy leans against an espresso maker with her hands across her chest, shaking her head.
BETHANY
Well, say something.
AMY
I already knew you had a demon attached to you.
BETHANY
You did?
AMY
Yeah, I just didnât realize you had two. That Deacon guy is a real piece of work. And who the hell keeps the name Deacon when theyâre a priest.
BETHANY
Deacon is actually his first name.
AMY
He should change it.
BETHANY
I donât know what to do. Normally I would talk this stuff over with him.
AMY
Because heâs like your best friend who just so happens to be actively destroying your love life. Most likely.
Bethany nods sadly.
BETHANY
I guess.
AMY
Well, I can think of a couple things to do off the top of my head, but they include acts of violence. And itâs hard to talk about your BFF when heâs standing right there.
Bethany turns and sees Deacon Anders standing at the entrance of the coffee shop.
Amy leans in close to Bethanyâs ear.
AMY
(whisper)
Donât let the Black Deacon get too close. Who knows what else he plans to do to you.
(louder)
Latte coming right up. Have a seat.
Bethany sees an empty table nearby and sits at it.
Deacon Anders walks over to the table and jovially plops down in the seat opposite her.
DEACON ANDERS
Bethany! I feel like I havenât seen you in ages. How are you?
BETHANY
Iâm doing fine.
DEACON ANDERS
Well, thatâs great. You must be busy, I havenât heard from you about next monthâs newsletter. I was so looking forward to our little brainstorming sesh.
BETHANY
Yeah, sorry about that. Iâve been sort of busy.
DEACON ANDERS
Dating I assume.
BETHANY
No, just visiting some old friends.
DEACON ANDERS
Friends?
He looks at her long and hard, a light smirk at the corner of this mouth.
DEACON ANDERS
Well good. I know itâs hard to hear, but Bethany, I just hate to see your little heart be put through the ringer time and time again. Itâs good youâre taking a break. Just as long as youâre doing something with your time and staying out of trouble. Idle hands and what not. I wouldnât want you poking your nose in other peopleâs business or trespassing out of boredom.Bethany stays quiet.
DEACON ANDERS
Now I understand from Hazel that you dropped by the rectory today.
BETHANY
Yes, I wanted to say hi. Like you said, itâs been a while. But she said you were busy and I didnât want to disturb you.
DEACON ANDERS
That was very considerate of you.
Deacon Anders stands up.
DEACON ANDERS
I really should be going, I just saw you in here and I wanted to pop in.
He pushes his chair in.
DEACON ANDERS
Be well. And Iâm really proud of you for taking a break from dating and giving that horrendous dating site a rest.
Deacon Anders turns to leave.
BETHANY
Oh, Iâm still active on the site.
Deacon Anders turns back around.
BETHANY
For when Iâm done taking my break.
Deacon Anders drops his arms by his side and he takes on a look of concern.
DEACON ANDERS
How disappointing. I really wish you would look out for yourself better.
BETHANY
Iâm the only one who looks out for me. Iâm sorry for keeping you.
DEACON ANDERS
What?
BETHANY
Donât you have to be going?
DEACON ANDERS
Yes. Yes I do. Hope to see you around church soon.
Bethany smiles but doesnât say anything.
Bethany watches Deacon Anders as he leaves. She doesnât notice Amy approaching the table.
Amy sits down in the seat Deacon Anders just vacated.
She makes a face.
AMY
Ew. Warm.
Bethany grimaces.
AMY
So I realized I know someone who can help you.
BETHANY
Really? Thank you. Who?
AMY
His nameâs Koju. Heâs a regular. Comes in pretty often. Runs a Spiritual Center. Iâve taken a few classes there. He might know what to do about your demon.
BETHANY
Heâs not my demon. I donât own him. I didnât conjure him.
AMY
No, but I think we both have a hunch who did.
Bethany raises an eyebrow.
AMY
Here.
She shows Bethany her phone. On the screen is a website for [Insert Name here] wellness center.
AMY
This is the center. Itâs close by.
BETHANY
Can you give me his number? Or like contact him for me?
AMY
Actually, I have a way better idea. Give me your phone.
Bethany gives Amy her phone.
AMY
Whatâs the name of that dating app you use.
BETHANY
[Insert name of app]. Why?
Amy clicks on the app and accesses Bethanyâs profile.
AMY
Ah, there you are.
She does a quick search.
AMY
And hereâs Koju. If I wasnât into girls, I said hell yes to that picture.
Bethany leans over the table and cranes her head to see a very attractive guy with washboard abs.
Amy types out a message.
AMY
(typing on [Insert Dating App]}
Hey, youâre cute. Wanna meet up on Friday night?
Send.
Bethany scrambles for her phone. Amy hands it to her.
BETHANY
Omigod! What did you just do? I need to ask him for spiritual advice, not a date!
Amy types on her own phone.
AMY
Calm down. Iâm texting with him now and explaining to him about the whole thing, the possession, the evil Deacon, all that.
BETHANY
Why?
AMY
To see if Koju gets an email from Deacon Anders.
BETHANY
It still might not be him.
AMY
Itâs him alright. Besides, Koju will need to see it if heâs going to help you.
BETHANY
I would have shown him.
AMY
Yeah, but setting a trap is more fun.
Bethany stares at her wide-eyed, rethinking her selection of temporary friend when she hears a PING on her phone.
AMY
Looks like Koju said yes. You have yourself a hot date. Wonât the Deacon priest be pleased.
New plan:
INT. HEALING CENTER – DAY
Bethany enters through the front glass door of a commercial building in a strip mall. A string of bells JANGLE her arrival.
The center consists of an open main space bathed in calming earth tones and pastels. Most of the floor is taken up by a huge mat. The place is empty.
BETHANY
Is anyone here?
Koju, 32 y.o., tall, lean muscle, thick jaw-length hair, pulled back in a half ponytail walks in from a side room with a sign over it that says library.
He walks over to Bethany with quiet confidence.
KOJU
Bethany?
Bethany notices to her disappointment that unlike his dating profile picture, heâs wearing a shirt and swallows involuntarily.
BETHANY
Yes, hi. Um, did you receive a copy of the video?
KOJU
It hit my Inbox yesterday after you accepted my date.
BETHANY
I wasnât sure, it usually gets sent out after the date.
KOJU
Well maybe he figured out how to hack your dating account so he can get the details upfront.
BETHANY
As opposed to following me to the restaurant and eavesdropping from a bush.
KOJU
And then rushing home to do an internet search.
Koju smiles.
BETHANY
Yeah.
KOJU
Yeah.
BETHANY
You seem relaxed around me. Did you watch it?
KOJU
Yes.
BETHANY
What did you think?
Koju takes her hands in his. They are big and warm and so comforting.
KOJU
I think that whatever it is, youâve been put through the ringer and you need help and guidance.
BETHANY
So you donât believe I was possessed?
KOJU
I believe you believe you were possessed.
BETHANY
If only it were mental illness. Thatâs a lot less scarier.
KOJU
I disagree. But…
Koju raises his hands and gently cups her face. He gazes into her eyes.
KOJU
We can help you here. We believe that the road to any type of healing begins with oneâs spiritual [insert woo woo term].
Bethany gazes into his eyes.
BETHANY
I want to roll my eyes, but your hands are kind of making it hard.
Koju removes his hands gently.
KOJU
Why do you want to roll your eyes?
BETHANY
Oneâs spiritual [woo woo term]? Iâm sorry, but it sounds so hokey.
KOJU
Any more hokey than what your church taught you?
BETHANY
I guess not.
KOJU
And did any of that stuff end up helping? Amy filled me in about that Deacon guy. All the dead roses. And what priest calls himself Deacon.
BETHANY
Itâs his name.
KOJU
Maybe he should use his middle name. I do.
BETHANY
Your nameâs not Koju?
KOJU
My middle name is. My first name is Jeff.
BETHANY
Jeff Koju?
KOJU
And it usually gets that kind of reaction, so donât go spreading it around.
BETHANY
Did Amy tell you that I think Iâm being harassed again by Demon 23.
KOJU
Demon 23? Why do you call it that?
BETHANY
I donât know. Itâs just what weâve always called it.
KOJU
Fair enough.
BETHANY
So you still think you can help me?
KOJU
Well, weâve never dealt with a person who thought they were being–what–haunted by a demon per say, but yeah, I think we can. Who couldnât use a beefed up sense of spirituality when dealing with their demons.
BETHANY
Itâs not my demon.
KOJU
I was speaking metaphorically.
BETHANY
Oh. So when do we begin?
KOJU
Letâs start by meeting the team thatâs going to help you. Now, I have to say that a lot of our instructors are properly freaked out by this whole thing and declined to participate.
BETHANY
(interrupting)
Full out refused?
KOJU
Yes. But a few said they thought it was their duty to help you.
BETHANY
Thatâs very kind.
KOJU
(yelling towards the library)
Okay guys! I think itâs safe! You can come out!
SOLEIL, 24 y.o., short, bright pink dreads, spunky and earnest, walks out of the library. Sheâs followed by LINDA, 42 y.o. everything about her is skinny and long from her nose to her toes. Linda is followed by BOB, 56 y.o., a polo, pair of jeans and a grown out crew cut.
They stand in a line in front of Bethany.
Koju points at Linda.
KOJU
This is Linda. Sheâs a yoga and mediation master who has taken a vow of silence.
BETHANY
(interrupting)
Nice to meet you Linda.
Before she finishes her sentence, Bethany realizes that Koju has just said Linda has taken a vow of silence.
Linda smiles and nods.
Bethany stares at Koju.
Kojou points to Bob.
KOJU
This is Bob.
BOB
Hi there.
Bob steps out of line and shakes Bethanyâs hand.
BOB
I do psychic vibration, visualization and protective projection.
Bob steps back in line.
Koju gestures to Soleil.
KOJU
This is Soleil. She specializes in Reiki.
Soleil presses her hands together in prayer and bows towards Bethany.
SOLEIL
I will use the life force to work through the heaviness that surrounds you.
BETHANY
Thatâs from my demon.
SOLEIL
I do feel a separate negative energy that is bringing you down, but Iâm referring to your energy. YouâreâŠspiritually constipated.
BETHANY
Thank you.
And finally Koju joins the line.
KOJU
And me. I will train you in Cosmic Mind telepathy. Together, we are going to try to do our best to help you spiritually. Like I said, your particular situation is new territory for us, but we can guarantee that whatever we try, it will always be with your best interest in mind. I donât think Priest Deacon Anders can say as much.
BOB
(to Linda)
Priest Deacon Anders?
LINDA
(nonverbally)
I know, right?
SOLEIL
We are committed to helping you find love. Or at least be able to date normally.
BETHANY
And help get rid of my demon.
SOLEIL
Sure.
Bethany looks at the team–her team now, and smiles toothless as she tries not to shrug.
EXT. PARK – DAY
Bethany and Bob sit crossed legged on the grass under a tree. Bethany is in yoga pants and a tank top. Bob is in jeans, a shirt and a flannel–dad on a lazy Sunday tooling around in the garage vibe.
BOB
It helps to be connected to the Earth when you first learn how to do this.
BETHANY
And touching the Earth with your butt is the best way? Couldnât we stand?
BOB
The butt is the best way. The sphincter is the most absorbent part of your body?
BETHANY
Are you coming onto me?
BOB
Letâs begin.
INT. HEALING CENTER LIBRARY – DAY
Bethany sits at a long table.
Koju hands her a book.
Bethany reads the title of the book: Spiritual Self Realization – Recognizing Your Own Divine Being.
She looks up at him very dubiously.
Koju enthusiastically gestures for her to open it up and start reading.
She opens up the book and reluctantly reads it.
EXT. PARK – DAY
Bethany, in a pair of shorts and an 80s hair-band t-shirt, stands under a tree.
Linda in white linen everything demonstrates tree pose for Bethany. Then indicates that Bethany try it.
Bethany attempts the pose but struggles to hold it. She attempts the pose repeatedly but loses her balance each time.
BETHANY
I canât do it! I canât hold my stupid balance.
Linda stares at her thoughtfully.
INT. HEALING CENTER – DAY
Bethany sits at a table across from Koju.
KOJU
[Insert explanation about how Cosmic Telepathy works]
Ok. So just reach out.
BETHANY
And describe the image youâre holding in your mind?
KOJU
Yes. Close your eyes.
Bethany closes her eyes. Right away she opens them up again.
BETHANY
Why do I need to learn this?
KOJU
To increase your spiritual [Something important to her pursuit at hand – maybe awareness].
BETHANY
Itâs that simple, huh?
KOJU
Just close your eyes and concentrate.
Bethany closes her eyes.
KOJU
I have an image in my mind. Have you found it?
BETHANY
(eyes remain closed)
I think so.
KOJU
What is it?
BETHANY
A taco?
KOJU
Try again.
EXT. PARK – DAY
Bethany tries tree pose and loses her balance again, grumbling in frustration.
Linda approaches as Bethany tries to get into the pose again.
Linda extends her hands and Bethany grabs her forearms as she pitches forward off balance.
Linda struggles with Bethany awkwardness for a second. Then she is able to help Bethany right herself. Bethany clings to Linda as she maintains tree pose.
Linda nods enthusiastically. She gently pulls one of her forearms out of Bethanyâs grip and points with two fingers to her eyes indicating that Bethany should watch her.
Bethany wobbles as she watches Linda.
Linda inhales through her nose and exhales through her nose. She does this a couple times. Then she indicates to Bethany to do the same.
Bethany begins to inhale and exhale through her nose.
Soon they synchronize their breaths.
BETHANY
Donât I need to be able to do this on my own?
Linda shakes her head no and indicates âlaterâ with her hand.
Bethany wobbles and Linda lets her hold onto her second arm again.
INT. HEALING CENTER – DAY
Bethanyâs breathing becomes more focused as she inhales and exhales through her nose.
KOJU
Center yourself and reach out. What do you see?
BETHANY
An orange?
KOJU
Are you hungry?
Bethany opens her eyes.
BETHANY
Have you ever been able to connect with anyone this way?
KOJU
I think so.
EXT. PARK – DAY
Bethany and Bob sit crossed legged on the grass under a tree. They are dressed as before.
Bethany holds her hands up in front of her. Her eyes are closed tight. Her breathing is big and labored like sheâs straining to pick up something heavy.
Bob looks at her and looks between her hands.
BOB
Is that all you got?
Bethany drops her arms.
BOB
A wall has to surround you if itâs going to protect you. And it has to be big. Try again.
Bethany raises her arms again.
BOB
Widen your arms. Think bigger.
INT. HEALING CENTER – DAY
Bethany lies on her back on a massage table with her eyes closed. She is in yoga pants and a t-shirt with characters from a childrenâs show on it.
Soleil stands over her, dressed a little bit like Stevie Nix. Her hands hover over Bethanyâs feet.
SOLEIL
Your feet are metaphorically and literally the foundation of your spiritual self. The flow here is pretty good. I only have to direct the lifeforce over here minimally.
BETHANY
(mumbling)
Mmmmhmmm.
Soleil moves her hovering hands up Bethanyâs legs.
SOLEIL
Good, legs feel open.
Soleil hovers her hands over Bethanyâs belly.
SOLEIL
Oh.
She hovers her hands over her midsection.
SOLEIL
Okay. Iâm starting to define theâŠ
Soleil hovers her hands over Bethanyâs heart.
SOLEIL
Oh wow!
Her hands linger over the heart.
SOLEIL
Let me see something.
Soleil moves her hands up the rest of Bethanyâs body and hovers over her brain.
SOLEIL
Holy moly! This whole connection needs to be balanced!
She retraces the path from Bethanyâs belly to her head.
SOLEIL
Okay. Okay. Here we go.
She hovers her hands back over Bethanyâs belly, but this time they become locked in their hover.
Soleil grunts with great effort. She begins to sweat. She struggles as she pulls her hands slowly over Bethanyâs body from her belly to her brain.
She performs this act over and over again, taking breaks here and there to sip tea or dab her brow.
At one point she takes a sip from her tea cup only to find the cup empty.
SOLEIL
(yelling)
I need more tea!
Koju comes running out of the library room with a hot kettle. He refills her cup.
Soleil takes a sip.
KOJU
Howâs it going?
Soleil looks at him with exasperation.
KOJU
No need to yell. Iâm going.
Koju leaves.
Soleil resumes her effort.
Finally, she is able to hover her hands smoothly from Bethanyâs belly to brain and back again.
Soleil is completely spent.
SOLEIL
Oh my! I did it. Youâre unblocked. I donât know how I lasted, that was a doozy.
Bethany snores in response.
SOLEIL bumps the table hard enough to wake Bethany.
Bethany looks around sleepily.
SOLEIL
Youâre way less blocked now.
Bethany smiles, not really understanding.
SOLEIL
Youâre welcome.
EXT. PARK – DAY
Bethany stands under a big tree in tree pose. She is in linen pants and a linen tank top. She keeps her balance unassisted.
Linda stands near her in her own linen ensemble. She demonstrates to Bethany how to wrap her arms together.
Bethany wraps her arms effortlessly.
Linda breathes in and out through her nose. Bethany nods and her breathing becomes very controlled.
Linda points to her eyes and closes them.
Bethany closes her eyes.
Linda opens her eyes and sees Bethany completely relaxed in tree pose. She smiles.
INT. HEALING CENTER – DAY
Bethany sits at the same table as before. Koju is on the other side.
KOJU
Ok I have it.
Bethany closes her eyes.
KOJU
Focus.
Bethany breathes in and out in a very controlled manner the way she did in her yoga session with Linda.
Bethany sees an image against a dark background.
BETHANY
Seriously? A bowl of rice. Is this last nightâs dinner?
Koju watches her, surprised. He absentmindedly sips from a bottle of water.
Bethany stays with the image and the dark background gets clear enough for Bethany to see beyond the bowl of rice to the table itâs on and the television set playing behind it.
BETHANY
You watch The Real Housewives.
Koju blows out his water.
Bethany opens her eyes and looks at him as he chokes.
BETHANY
Are you okay?
KOJU
How the hell did you do that?
INT. HEALING CENTER LIBRARY – DAY
Bethany is glued to a book titled: Connecting to Your Inner God Power.
She stops reading to jot something down on a notepad.
Soleil stops by the table on the way to a shelf of books behind Bethany.
SOLEIL
How do you like the book?
BETHANY
Itâs awesome! Deacon Anders never taught me any of this stuff. Thanks for the recommendation.
SOLEIL
Glad it resonates with you.
Soleil goes to pat her on her shoulder and hovers her hand over her head.
SOLEIL
Nice.
EXT. PARK – DAY
Bob and Bethany sit cross-legged with their eyes closed.
Bob opens his eyes. He looks around him.
BOB
Very strong wall, Bethany.
Bethany turns and looks at him. She closes her eyes.
Bob jerks his head back a bit.
BOB
Well, youâre most welcome. Wow. Koju taught you well. Iâve never experienced such a strong telepathic thought from another person before. Between you and me, I thought it was bullshit.
Bobâs head jerks back again.
BOB
Donât waste that kind of stuff on me. Why donât you project all that peace, love and understanding jazz to someone else.
BETHANY
Brad.
BOB
Is Brad your fellow?
BETHANY
No.
BOB
Just the same.
Bethany concentrates.
BOB
Damn that was strong enough for me to feel it. He must mean something to you.
Bethany nods her head sadly.
BOB
Well, maybe one day youâll mean something to him, too.
Bethany smiles.
BOB
Okay, let’s see how big we can make this wall.
Bethany closes her eyes and begins to concentrate.
INT. COFFEE SHOP
Bethany walks into the coffee shop. Thereâs no line so she heads straight to the order counter.
Amy looks up, sensing her before she arrives.
AMY
Youâre different.
BETHANY
I am.
AMY
I sense power. And confidence. I suspect all that mystical crap is really upping your spiritual game.
BETHANY
You could say that.
AMY
But itâs not enough.
Bethanyâs smile falls.
AMY
You still havenât dealt with your demon.BETHANY
Wow. I didnât even notice it, but now that you mention it, Iâve been rather demon-free lately.
AMY
I donât mean him. I mean your Deacon. Thatâs a bad apple. Either way. I think youâre gonna need this.
Amy pulls out a book. Its black leather is embossed with a twisted sharp pattern.
BETHANY looks at the title of the book: [Insert Dark Arts title here].
AMY
Youâve learned to master the light. You need to bone up a bit on the dark. You can handle it now.
BETHANY
I donât want that.
AMY
Sooner or later, youâre going to have to face down your demons, both of them. You need to know how to handle the other side if youâre going to come out of it successfully. And what better way to do so than to have the answer key.
Amy opens the book to a spell that summons demons.
AMY
Flip through it. It will teach you what you need to know.
Amy closes the book and pushes it towards Bethany.
BETHANY
You want me to have it?
AMY
You can borrow it. As long as you need, but then bring it back to me.
Bethany stares at it, hesitant to even touch it.
BETHANY
I donât know. Like I said, Demon 23 hasnât made his presence known for a while. As for Deacon Anders, I stopped going to church.
AMY
Are you sure?
Amyâs sentence is interrupted by the book levitating 2 inches and then falling open on the countertop.
ANDREW
(walking by)
Saw that.
AMY
Not around anymore, huh? Letâs see what heâs trying to tell you.
Bethany and Amy look at the book.
AMY
The death mark. Do you think Deacon Anders is capable of marking you for death?
BETHANY
Highly unlikely. It says here he would have to mark me with a pentagram drawn in my own blood. And like I said, I donât go to church anymore.
AMY
But a book just opened on its own, so we can still safely say you are being plagued by the supernatural.
BETHANY
Plagued?
AMY
Just take the book.
Bethany looks at the book, nods and closes it.
BETHANY
Thanks.
She slips it into her bag.
AMY
Thank me by clearing up your shit and bringing it back to me.
Bethany salutes Amy and leaves.
Amy shakes her head. Adam walks up to her and watches Bethany leave.
ADAM
What a weirdo.
EXT. PARK – DAY
Bethany and Koju sit on a bench. Koju has Amyâs spell book open on his lap. He studies it.
BETHANY
So what do I do?
Koju looks up from the book and gestures to it.
KOJU
So you can gain control over a demon by knowing its name. Once you say its name, you have âdominionâ over it. Thereâs other ways to gain temporary control but this gives you absolute control and you can send it away.
BETHANY
Okay. How do I learn a demonâs name?
KOJU
Apparently this book provides one of the only spells that allows you to reveal demon names. Itâs a pretty cocky book and toots its own horn a lot. It says other books may claim to have reveal spells, but they are not legit.
BETHANY
So I guess it’s pretty rare. Why did Amy trust me with this thing?
KOJU
Maybe she likes you. Either way, donât look this gift horse in the mouth.
BETHANY
What does that even mean?
KOJU
It means we should try it out.
BETHANY
Should I try summoning Demon 23?
KOJU
Maybe you should start off with something more basic. Is there anything in there for beginners?
Bethany flips through the pages of the spell book.
BETHANY
Itâs not like these spells come with ratings.
Bethany points to a spell.
BETHANY
Oh wait, hereâs a summoning spell for newbies.
KOJU
The book actually uses the word ânewbiesâ?
BETHANY
It says here, you can use it to see what demons are in the area.
KOJU
Like Tinder for demons?
BETHANY
I guess. So should I try it?
KOJU
Iâve had luck with Tinder.
Bethany stands from the bench and swallows hard. She holds the book up to her.
BETHANY
[Insert spell]
She looks up from the book.
Out of the 20 or so people milling around the park, 4 have attachments, two are demonic.
A family of 5 picnicking nearby, mother, father, two boys and a girl are being terrorized by the YOUNGEST CHILD, a 4 y.o. tyrant.
He marches through the picnic grabbing food off plates and flinging it at his siblings.
His father opens his mouth to yell at him and the child squeezes his water bottle so that a stream of water hits the father right in the mouth like one of those carnival games where you squirt a clown head in the mouth until the balloon attached to it fills up with water.
He runs over to a nearby couple canoodling on a blanket under the tree and chases their trembling chihuahua.
Bethany can see that the little boy has a demon piggybacking on him.
She points to him.
BETHANY
That kid has a demon.
Koju looks but canât see it.
KOJU
You can see one?
BETHANY
Yep.
She returns her attention to the book and flips through it until she finds what sheâs looking for.
BETHANY
Now letâs try that revealing spell. [Insert Revealing Spell]
Bethany looks at the kid with his Demon and she sees the Demonâs name hanging above it like a sign.
BETHANY
Okay?
She walks up to the little kid.
BETHANY
Hey!
Both the kid and his demon look at her.
BETHANY
Kevin! Take a hike. Go back to where you came from.
The demon hops of the kid.
Instantaneously the kidâs evil little grin leaves his face and he stands still looking wildly around him as if heâs seeing the park for the first time.
KEVIN the DEMON
How did you know my name?
Kevin walks away and jumps on a stopped bus just before it closes its doors. The bus drives away.
BETHANY
That was weird.
Koju walks up to her, totally amazed.
KOJU
That worked!
The little boy walks over to his family and sits down on the blanket cross-legged.
LITTLE BOY
(to his mother)
May I have some juice, please.
His mother does a double take.
BETHANY
(to Koju)
I guess it did. Shall I try summoning Demon 23?
KOJU
Yeah, but maybe we do it at the center. I think Demon 23 is going to be more trouble than�
BETHANY
Kevin.
KOJU
Yeah, I think it will be safer at the center.
Bethany looks around the park.
BETHANY
Letâs go.
INT. NEW AGE SCHOOL
Bethany and Koju enter the learning center giddy.
KOJU
This is crazy.
BETHANY
So do you believe me now about the demon stuff.
KOJU
Definitely starting to.
BETHANY
Man, what will it take.
KOJU
It doesnât matter. Bethany, thereâs been a spiritual growth in you the likes of which Iâve never seen. The whole team agrees.
You are one powerful mamajama. And after what I saw at the park, especially with that kid, I think youâre ready. I think youâre strong enough to take on Demon 23.
BETHANY
You mean I should summon him?
KOJU
Itâs not my method, but my method doesnât really pertain to demons and other supernatural phenomena. So yeah. Use the summoning spell and the naming spell. Use what we taught you, too. And name that motherfucker and send him straight back to Hell.
BETHANY
Or his point of origin.
KOJU
Heâs not from Hell.
BETHANY
Letâs ask him. Then Iâll name him and send him back there, wherever it is. I canât believe the rules of Rumpelstiltskin apply to this situation.
KOJU
Why not, wasnât he a demon?
Bethany opens the Black Magic book and finds the summoning spell.
[Insert her performing the incantation]
Wind from no source fills the studio sending papers and loose objects flying around.
KOJU
Holy–
Koju pulls his loose hair out of his mouth.
KOJU
Holy–
Koju pulls his loose hair out of his mouth again and puts his hair into a ponytail.
KOJU
I wanted to say Holy shit.
But Bethany doesnât respond.
KOJU
Bethany?
Bethany just stares straight ahead as if in a trance.
But then she starts to speak. Koju can only see Bethanyâs side of the conversation.
BETHANY
Youâre not at all what I expected.
DEMON 23, [insert description] stands before her unseen by Koju.
DEMON 23
Iâm an interdimensional being. Iâm not going to look the way you expect.
BETHANY
So youâre not from Hell?
DEMON 23
You wonât understand where Iâm from.
BETHANY
Thatâs okay, I donât need to know the name of your point of origin. You do. So when I tell you to go back to it, you will. All I have to do is reveal your name.
DEMON 23 grabs the book and rips it to pieces.
BETHANY
That wasnât mine.
DEMON 23
Oops.
BETHANY
I have the spell memorized.
[Insert Bethany starting to recite the Revealing Incantation]
DEMON 23
Wait! I need to warn you about Deacon Anders.
Bethany stops reciting the incantation.
DEMON 23
I know Iâve been coming on real strong. And at first I was confused why I was brought back after all this time and attached to you. But now I know whatâs happening and it involves us both.
Demon 23 cuts himself off abruptly. His eyes grow wide and he jerks his body upwards.
BETHANY
Did a bee sting you?
Demon 23 canât answer.
BETHANY
If you donât talk now, Iâm going to reveal your name.
Demon 23 tries to speak. He reaches out for Bethany and then heâs yanked away, vanishing before Bethanyâs eyes.
Bethany looks down at the tattered Dark Arts Book.
BETHANY
Damn, I didnât memorize the Summoning spell.
Bethany looks up.
BETHANY
Oh, Koju. Youâre still here.
KOJU
Is Demon 23 still here?
BETHANY
He just vanished.
KOJU
Oh snap. Well, I saw what happened to the book. So looks like youâre going to have to pay a visit to the local witchcraft store tomorrow.
BETHANY
Maybe.
KOJU
I wonder where he went.
BETHANY
Before he disappeared, he said he wanted to warn me about Deacon Anders.
KOJU
Well who doesnât?
Bethany nods.
BETHANY
Yeah, but this time the warning comes from a demon, so itâs probably worse than I can imagine.
KOJU
Why donât you reach out to the Deacon and find out.
BETHANY
You mean like call him?
She raises her cell phone.
KOJU
I mean like contactâŠ
(he touches his hand to his forehead and then mimics touching Bethanyâs head)
âŠhim. You remember how you found out that I like to watch The Real Housewives when we had our Cosmic Telepathy session the other day. Do that.
BETHANY
Okay.
KOJU
Remember, close your eyes and concentrate.
Bethany closes her eyes.
KOJU
Visualize Deacon Anders. Do you see him?
BETHANY
Yes. I see from him.
Bethany can see a room from Deacon Anders perspective.
KOJU
Where is he?
Deacon Anders looks around a room.
BETHANY
At church I think.
Through Deacon Anders perspective, Bethany can see a bed and a hat rack.
BETHANY
In his chambers.
Deacon Anders looks down on the ground.
BETHANY gasps and jumps back.
She loses the telepathic connection.
KOJU
What?
BETHANY
I think heâs the one who summoned Demon 23.
KOJU
What?
BETHANY
I saw a huge red Pentagram painted on the floor of his bedroom. A photo of the Bishop was at the center of it.
KOJU
Holy shit, this isnât good.
BETHANY
No it isnât. I think I need to get into that room.
KOJU
I think I need to go with you.
Bethany nods and they head out the door of the Healing Center.
Turning Point:
INT. DEACON ANDERSâS CHAMBERS – DAY
Bethany breaks the window from the outside. She and Koju carefully climb around the glass and quietly enter the room.
The room is very cold. White clouds jet out of Kojuâs nostrils and he wordlessly points to them.
Bethany nods as she checks the closet. The orderly but barren room is empty with the exception of a few pieces of furniture.
BETHANY
Weâre alone.
KOJU
Holy shit, itâs like an ice box in here. When does that youth seminar end?
BETHANY
Not for another hour.
KOJU
Doesnât look like weâll need it.
(Looking around)
A twin? Man, this place is sad, but nothing about it screams Occult.
BETHANY
Itâs so weird. When I saw it in his mind, it was on the ground right here in the center of the room.
KOJU
Where exactly did you say it was?
BETHANY
In the vision, it was right about here.
Bethany points to the center of the floor between the bed and the dresser.
KOJU
How big was it?
BETHANY
Iâd say about 5 feet by 5 feet?
KOJU
And you think it was made out of blood, right?
BETHANY
Yes.
KOJU takes out a brown bottle with a spray top and starts spraying it in the area Bethany indicated.
Bethany reads the bottle.
BETHANY
Do you normally carry around a huge bottle of hydrogen peroxide with you?
KOJU
No, not normally. I left it in my car after I went shopping. I use it as a disinfectant when I clean my house.
BETHANY
Are we cleaning the Deaconâs floor?
KOJU
Ha ha. Hydrogen peroxide bubbles when it interacts with blood. I figured it was worth a try if anything residual remained.
Koju finishes spraying and steps back.
KOJU
Maybe Deacon Anders should buy a bottle because whatever heâs using to clean it up is not doing the trick.
Bubbling on the floor before Koju and Bethany is the outline of a Pentagram.
BETHANY
I canât believe it.
Koju starts rummaging through the dresser drawers.
KOJU
You canât believe youâre right? Or canât believe that youâre telepathic.
BETHANY
Honestly. Iâve been having a hard time with all of this. Back when we met and you suggested that maybe this whole time I was suffering from a mental illness and not demonic possession or attachment, part of me thought that maybe you were right. But now thisâ
Koju pulls out a book from the bottom drawer. It is definitely gnarly and very occulty.
KOJU
And now this.
BETHANY
Is that a conjuring book?
KOJU
Now why would a deacon need that?
DEACON ANDERS
Iâm a priest, but why would I expect a pagan like yourself to know the difference.
Kojus is surprised by the appearance of Deacon Anders who uses it to his advantage and snatches the spell book out of Kojuâs hands.
KOJU
Hey!
Koju lunges forward to snatch it back and Deacon Anders blows a red powder into his face. Koju freezes.
BETHANY
Oh my god! What did you do to him?
DEACON ANDERS
Like that, do you?
Deacon Anders turns and blows the powder into her face too. She becomes immobile.
DEACON ANDERS
Well wait til I show you why a priest would need a conjuring book.
Deacon Anders opens it to a summoning spell. He puts his reading glasses on.
He looks back at Bethany.
DEACON ANDERS
Forgive me, I donât have it memorized yet. I used to have a mind like a steel trap but you know what they say about the mind as you get older, it ainât what it used to be. Now where was I. Oh yes. Iâm about to summon Demon 23 and send him into Koju. Remember when you told me that maybe I could make a name for myself in the church if I learned how to perform an exorcism? I took those words to heart. Bet you didnât think I would try to master possession too. But watch.
Deacon Anders recites an incantation.
Bethany can see Demon 23 manifest.
Deacon Anders recites a secondary incantation and Bethany can see Demon 23 fight as he goes into Kojuâs body.
Kojuâs eyes roll back into his head until only the whites of his eyes are visble. His body moves unnaturally forward.
DEACON ANDERS
As I have said the [Insert something prayer], I exert dominion over you evil Spirit, Demon 23 as you have become known.
Koju turns toward Deacon Anders.
DEACON ANDERS
You are under my command and do my bidding alone.
Koju nods.
DEACON ANDERS
For the time being, knock her lights out.
Koju walks up to Bethany who is still frozen.
She cannot speak but terror fills her eyes as Koju approaches. He swings his head towards hers but stops short of head butting her.
He touches his forehead to hers and a white hot light fills her mind until she canât see anything else.
-
Tashaâs Act 3 Turning Point
Doing this assignment, I learned the following: Even if you have a scene outlined, itâs important to let your characters flowâtheyâll take you to some wild places, but they will always come back to the story at hand and inform where it needs to go.
1. Outline Key Scene 4 â Turning Point 3.<div>
INT. DEACON ANDERSâS CHAMBERS – DAY
Beginning: Bethany and Koju break into Deacon Anders Chambers.
Middle: They find a pentagram, a book of spells, and other occult items. Deacon Anders sends Demon 23 into Koju.
End: Deacon Anders tells Koju to knock out Bethany and prepare her.
2. Write Turning Point 3 â Protagonist faces their lowest low.
INT. DEACON ANDERSâS CHAMBERS – DAY
Bethany breaks the window from the outside. She and Koju carefully climb around the glass and quietly enter the room.
The room is very cold. A white cloud jets out from Kojuâs nostrils and he wordlessly points to them.
Bethany nods as she checks the closet. The orderly but barren room is empty with the exception of a few pieces of furniture.
BETHANY
Weâre alone.
KOJU
Holy shit, itâs like an ice box in here. When does that youth seminar end?
BETHANY
Not for another hour.
KOJU
Doesnât look like weâll need it.
(Looking around)
A twin? Man, this place is sad, but nothing about it screams Occult.
BETHANY
Itâs so weird. When I saw it in his mind, it was on the ground right here in the center of the room.
KOJU
Where exactly did you say it was?
BETHANY
In the vision, it was right about here.
Bethany points to the center of the floor between the bed and the dresser.
KOJU
How big was it?
BETHANY
Iâd say about 5 feet by 5 feet?
KOJU
And you think it was made out of blood, right?
BETHANY
Yes.
KOJU takes out a brown bottle with a spray top and starts spraying it in the area Bethany indicated.
Bethany reads the bottle.
BETHANY
Do you normally carry around a huge bottle of hydrogen peroxide with you?
KOJU
No, not normally. I left it in my car after I went shopping. I use it as a disinfectant when I clean my house.
BETHANY
Are we cleaning the Deaconâs floor?
KOJU
Ha ha. Hydrogen peroxide bubbles when it interacts with blood. I figured it was worth a try if anything residual remained.
Koju finishes spraying and steps back.
KOJU
Maybe Deacon Anders should buy a bottle because whatever heâs using to clean up is not doing the trick.
Bubbling on the floor before Koju and Bethany is the outline of a Pentagram.
BETHANY
I canât believe it.
Koju starts rummaging through the dresser drawers.
KOJU
You canât believe youâre right? Or canât believe that youâre telepathic.
BETHANY
Honestly. Iâve been having a hard time with all of this. Back when we met and you suggested that maybe this whole time I was suffering from a mental illness and not demonic possession or attachment, part of me thought that maybe you were right. But now thisâ
Koju pulls out a book from the bottom drawer. It is definitely gnarly and very occult y.
KOJU
And now this.
BETHANY
Is that a conjuring book?
KOJU
Now why would a deacon need that?
DEACON ANDERS
Iâm a priest, but why would I expect a pagan like yourself to know the difference.
Kojus is surprised but the appearance of Deacon Anders who uses it to his advantage and snatches the spell book out of Kojuâs hands.
KOJU
Hey!
Koju lunges forward to snatch it back and Deacon Anders blows a red powder into his face. Koju freezes.
BETHANY
Oh my god! What did you do to him?
DEACON ANDERS
Like that do you?
Deacon Anders turns and blows the powder into her face too. She become immobile.
DEACON ANDERS
Well wait til I show you what a priest needs with a conjuring book.
Deacon Anders opens it to a summoning spell. He puts his reading glasses on.
He looks back at Bethany.
DEACON ANDERS
Forgive me, I donât have it memorized yet. I used to have a mind like a steel trap but you know what they say about the mind as you get older, it ainât what it used to be. Now where was eye. Oh yes. Iâm about to summon Demon 23 and send him into Koju. Remember when you told me that maybe I could make a name for myself in the church if I learned how to perform and exorcism? I took those words to heart. Bet you didnât I would try to master possession too. But watch.
Deacon Anders recites and incantation.
Bethany can see Demon 23 manifest.
Deacon Anders recites a secondary incantation and Bethany can see Demon 23 fight as he goes into Kojuâs body.
Kojuâs eyes roll back into his head until all you see is the white. His body moves unnaturally forward.
DEACON ANDERS
As I have said the [Insert something prayer], I exert dominion over you evil Spirit, Demon 23 as you have become know.
Koju turns toward Deacon 23.
DEACON ANDERS
You are under my command and do my bidding alone.
Koju nods.
DEACON ANDERS
For the time being, knock her lights out.
Koju walks up to Bethany who is still frozen.
She cannot speak but terror fills her eyes as Koju approaches. He swings his head towards hers but stop short of head butting her.
He touches his forehead to hers and a white hot light fills her mind until she canât see anything else.
-
Tashaâs Act 3 Middle Scenes
Doing this assignment, I learned the following: Resist the urge to fix logic holes. Now is not the time. Just get the story down first.
1. Outline Key Scenes 2 & 3.
Outline – Key Scene 2
INT. HEALING CENTER – DAY
Beginning: Bethany meets with Koju. He confirms that someone sent an email to him of Bethanyâs exorcism (maybe itâs a link to a website).
Middle: She tells Koju she thinks her demon is back. Koju tells her he doesnât think Deacon Anders is going to help her. Koju.
End: She asks if Koju and his school can help and he says they can try but theyâve never really dealt with this before. But they can guarantee her that whatever they try, it will always be with her best interest in mind. Bottom line, they believe she can date again and maybe even find love. Bethany asks, but will she be able to get rid of her demon?
Outline – Key Scene 3
INT. NEW AGE SCHOOL
Beginning: Koju tells her sheâs strong enough to take on her Demon. She has to quip that she canât believe they all play by Rumplestilskin rules.
Middle: She summons Demon 23 and says she can reveal his name, but before she can say it, Deacon Anders summons him.
End: Bethany uses Cosmic Mind Telepathy to connect to Deacon Anders and she sees an image of a pentagram drawn on the floor of a room and an image of the Bishop.
2. Write Key Scene 2: Makes a new plan.
INT. HEALING CENTER – DAY
Bethany enters through the front glass door of a commercial building in a strip mall. A string of bells JANGLE her arrival.
The center consists of an open main space bathed in calming earth tones and pastels. Most of the floor is taken up by a huge mat. The place is empty.
BETHANY
Is anyone here?
Koju, 32 y.o., tall, lean muscle, thick jaw-length hair, pulled back in a half ponytail walks in from a side room with a sign over it that says library.
He walks over to Bethany with quiet confidence.
KOJU
Bethany?
Bethany notices to her disappointment that unlike his dating profile picture, heâs wearing a shirt and swallows involuntarily.
BETHANY
Yes, hi. Um, did you receive a copy of the video?
KOJU
It hit my Inbox yesterday after you accepted my date.
BETHANY
I wasnât sure, it usually gets sent out after the date.
KOJU
Well maybe he figured out how to hack your account and get the details upfront.
BETHANY
As opposed to following me to the restaurant and eavesdropping from a bush
KOJU
And then rushing home to do an internet search.
Koju smiles.
BETHANY
Yeah.
KOJU
Yeah.
BETHANY
You seem relaxed around me. Did you watch it?
KOJU
Yes.
BETHANY
What did you think?
Koju takes her hands in his. They are big and warm and so comforting.
KOJU
I think that whatever it is, youâve been put through the ringer and you need help and guidance.
BETHANY
So you donât believe I was possessed?
KOJU
I believe you believe you were possessed.
BETHANY
If only it were mental illness. Thatâs a lot less scarier.
KOJU
I disagree. But,
Koju raises his hands and gently cups her face. He gazes into her eyes.
KOJU
We can help you here. We believe that the road to any type of healing begins with oneâs spirituality [make it sound more woo woo].
Bethany gazes into his eyes.
BETHANY
I want to roll my eyes, but your hands are kind of making it hard.
Koju removes his hands gently.
KOJU
Why do you want to roll your eyes?
BETHANY
Because oneâs [woo woo term]? It sounds so hokey.
KOJU
Any hokier than what you learned at Church?
BETHANY
I guess not.
KOJU
And did that stuff end up helping? Amy filled me in about that Deacon guy. All the dead roses. And what priest calls himself Deacon.
BETHANY
Itâs his name.
KOJU
Maybe he should use his middle name. I do.
BETHANY
Your nameâs not KOJU?
KOJU
My middle name is. My first name is Jeff.
BETHANY
Jeff Koju?
KOJU
And it usually gets that kind of reaction so donât go spreading it around.
BETHANY
Did Amy tell you that I think Iâm being harassed again by Demon 23.
KOJU
Demon 23? Why do you call it that?
BETHANY
I donât know. Itâs just what weâve always called it.
KOJU
Fair enough.
BETHANY
So you still think you can help me.
KOJU
Well, weâve never dealt with a person who thought they were being– what–haunted by a demon per say, but yeah, I think I can. Who couldnât use a beefed up sense of spirituality when dealing with their demons.
BETHANY
Itâs not my demon.
KOJU
I was speaking metaphorically.
BETHANY
Oh. So when do we begin?
KOJU
Letâs start by meeting the team thatâs going to help you. Now, I have to say that a lot of our instructors are properly freaked out by this whole thing and declined to participate.
BETHANY
(interrupting)
Full out refused?
KOJU
Yes. But a handful said they thought it was their duty to help you.
BETHANY
Thatâs very kind.
KOJU
(yelling towards the library)
Okay guys! I think itâs safe! You can come out!
SOLEIL, 24 y.o., short, bright pink dreads, spunky and earnest, walks out of the library. Sheâs followed by LINDA, 42 y.o. everything about her is skinny and long from her nose to her toes. Linda is followed by BOB, 56 y.o., a polo, pair of jeans and a grown out crew cut.
They stand in a line in front of Bethany.
Koju points at Linda.
KOJU
This is Linda. Sheâs a yoga and mediation master who has taken a vow of silence.
BETHANY
(interrupting)
Nice to meet you Linda.
Bethany realizes what Koju said at the end of Lindaâs introduction.
Linda smiles and nods.
Bethany stares at Koju.
Kojou points to Bob.
KOJU
This is Bob.
BOB
Hi there.
Bob steps out of line and shakes Bethanyâs hand.
BOB
I do psychic vibration, visualization and protective projection.
Bob steps back in line.
Koju gestures to Soleil.
KOJU
This is Soleil. She specializes in Reiki.
Soleil presses her hands together in prayer and bows towards Bethany.
SOLEIL
I will use the life force to work through the heaviness that surrounds you.
BETHANY
Thatâs from my demon.
SOLEIL
I do feel a separate negative energy that is bringing you down, but Iâm referring to your energy. YouâreâŠspiritually constipated.
BETHANY
Thank you.
And finally Koju joins the line.
KOJU
And me. I will train you in Cosmic Mind telepathy. Together, we are going to try to do our best to help you spiritually. Like I said, your particular situation is new territory for us, but they can guarantee her that whatever they try, it will always be with her best interest in mind. I donât think Priest Deacon Anders can say as much.
BOB
(to Linda)
Priest Deacon Anders?
LINDA
(nonverbally)
I know, right?
SOLEIL
We are committed to helping you find love. Or at least be able to date normally.
BETHANY
And help get rid of my demon.
SOLEIL
Sure.
Bethany looks at the team, her team and smiles toothless as she tries not to shrug.
3. Write Key Scene 3: Things go well, untilâŠ
INT. NEW AGE SCHOOL
Bethany and Koju enter the learning center giddy.
KOJU
This is crazy.
BETHANY
So do you believe me now about the demon stuff.
KOJU
Definitely starting to.
BETHANY
Man, what will it take.
KOJU
It doesnât matter. Bethany, thereâs been a spiritual growth in you the likes Iâve never seen. The whole team agrees.
You are one powerful mamajama. And after what I saw at the park, especially with that kid, I think youâre ready. I think youâre strong enough to take on Demon 23.
BETHANY
You mean I should summon him?
KOJU
Itâs not my method, but my method doesnât really pertain to demons and other supernatural phenomena. So yeah. Use the summoning spell and the naming spell. Wse what we taught you, too. And name that motherfucker and send him straight back to Hell.
BETHANY
Or his point of origin.
KOJU
Heâs not from Hell.
BETHANY
Letâs ask him. Then Iâll name him and send him back there, wherever it is. I canât believe that the rules of Rumpelstiltskin apply.
KOJU
Why not, wasnât he a demon?
Bethany opens the Black Magic book and finds the summoning spell.
[Insert her performing the incantation]
Wind from no source fills the studio sending papers and loose objects flying around.
KOJU
Holy–
Koju pulls his loose hair out of his mouth.
KOJU
Holy–
Koju pulls his loose hair out of his mouth and puts his hair into a ponytail.
KOJU
I wanted to say Holy shit.
But Bethany doesnât respond.
KOJU
Bethany?
Bethany just stares straight ahead as if in a trance.
But then she starts to speak. Koju can only see Bethanyâs side of the conversation.
BETHANY
Youâre not at all what I expected.
DEMON 23, [insert description] stands before her unseen by Koju.
DEMON 23
Iâm an interdimensional being. Iâm not going to look the way you expect.
BETHANY
So youâre not from Hell?
DEMON 23
You wonât get where Iâm from.
BETHANY
Thatâs okay, I donât need to know the name of the point of your point of origin. You do. So when I tell you to go back to it, you will. All I have to do is reveal your name.
DEMON 23 grabs the book and rips it to pieces.
BETHANY
I have it memorized.
[Insert Bethany starting to recite the Revealing Incantation]
DEMON 23
Wait! I need to warn you about Deacon Anders.
Bethany stops reciting the incantation.
DEMON 23
I know Iâve been coming on real strong. And at first I was confused why I was brought back after all this time and attached to you. But now I know whatâs happening and it involves us both.
Demon 23 cuts himself off abruptly. His eyes grow wide and jerks upwards.
BETHANY
Did a bee sting you?
Demon 23 canât answer.
BETHANY
If you donât talk now, Iâm going to reveal your name.
Demon 23 tries to speak. He reaches out for Bethany and then heâs yanked away, vanishing before Bethanyâs eyes.
Bethany looks down at the tattered Dark Arts Book.
BETHANY
Damn, I didnât memorize the Summoning spell.
Bethany looks up.
BETHANY
Oh, Koju. Youâre still here.
KOJU
Is Demon 23 still here?
BETHANY
He just vanished.
KOJU
Oh snap. Well, I saw what happened to the book. So looks like youâre going to have to pay a visit to the local witchcraft store tomorrow.
BETHANY
Maybe.
KOJU
I wonder where he went.
BETHANY
Before he disappeared, he said he wanted to warn me about Deacon Anders.
KOJU
Well who doesnât?
Bethany nods.
BETHANY
Yeah, but this time the warning comes from a demon, so itâs probably worse that I can imagine.
KOJU
Why donât you reach out to the Deacon and find out.
BETHANY
You mean like call him?
She raises her cell phone.
KOJU
I mean like contactâŠ
(he touches his hand to his forehead and then mimics touching Bethanyâs head)
âŠhim. You remember how you found out that I like to [insert weird but non-threatening activity a man would like to hide here] when we had our Cosmic Telepathy session the other day. Do that.
BETHANY
Okay.
KOJU
Remember, close your eyes and concentrate.
Bethany closes her eyes.
KOJU
Visualize Deacon Anders. Do you see him?
BETHANY
Yes. I see from him.
Bethany can see a room from Deacon Anders perspective.
KOJU
Where is he?
Deacon Anders looks around a room.
BETHANY
At church I think.
Through Deacon Anders perspective, Bethany can see a bed and a hat rack.
BETHANY
In his chambers.
Deacon Anders looks down on the ground.
BETHANY gasps and jumps back.
She loses the telepathic connection.
KOJU
What?
BETHANY
I think heâs the one who summoned Demon 23.
KOJU
What?
BETHANY
I saw a huge red Pentagram painted on the floor of his bedroom. A photo of the bishop was at the center of it.
KOJU
Holy shit, this isnât good.
BETHANY
No it isnât. I think I need to get into that room.
KOJU
I think I need to go with you.
Bethany nods and they head out the door of the Healing Center.
-
Tashaâs Act 3 Reaction to Midpoint
Doing this assignment, I learned the following: Even if you think you got the whole writing at 20% thing down, you can relapse and throw a wrench in the flow. Always be focused on speed over quality during the first draft!
1. Using your Beat Sheet, outline your Act 3 Key Scenes.
Key Scene 1: Amy gives Bethany the idea to seek help from a metaphysical healer.
Key Scene 2: The metaphysical healer and his team try to teach Bethany to become spiritually strong so she can get rid of Demon 23 herself.
Key Scene 3: Bethany demonstrates an ability to see all demons and their names, which is the key to expelling them.
Key Scene 4: Turning Point: Deacon Anders knocks out Bethany when she discovers the pentagram in his room.
2. Write Key Scene 1: Reaction/Rethink.
Outline:
INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY
Beginning: With no one else to turn to, Bethany talks to Amy about everything and shows her the video bc normally she would talk this stuff over with Deacon Anders.
Middle: Deacon Anders finds her and has a friendly chat with her. He asks her if sheâs still on her dating apps and expresses disappointment that she is. Bethany excuses herself and goes to the restroom, leaving her laptop open.
Amy suggests that maybe the prayer she used in the bathroom could point in the right direction. Where did the prayer come from? Also comes up with the idea for proving Deacon Anders deceit. âSo youâre not sure about your priest friend. Well, if heâs hacked your dating account or had someone do it (one of the people sheâs interacted with), thereâs one way we can find out for sure.
End: Amy recommends a guy she knows who could help her. Bethany asks for the contact info and Amy says she has an idea. She gets Bethany to open up her dating profile on her phone and she finds Koju. She sends a flirty message (Hey youâre cute, wanna meet up Friday night). Bethany gets mad that Amy set up a date with Koju. But Amy texts Koju at the same time and tells him whatâs up and that they are setting up a trap for Bethanyâs priest, so to just say yes. Koju accepts Bethanyâs invitation for a date.
Key Scene 1
INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY
Bethany stands at the order counter. On the staff side of the counter, Amy leans against an espresso maker with her hands across her chest, shaking her head.
BETHANY
Well, say something.
AMY
I already knew you had a demon attached to you.
BETHANY
You did?
AMY
Yeah, I just didnât realize you had two. That Deacon guy is a real piece of work. And who the hell keeps the name Deacon when theyâre a priest.
BETHANY
Deacon is his actual first name.
AMY
He should change it.
BETHANY
I donât know what to do. Normally I would talk this stuff over with Deacon Anders.
AMY
Because heâs like your best friend who just so happens to be actively destroying your love life by not only telling people your deep dark secret but also by conjuring a demon to rough up your suitors? Most likely.
Bethany nods sadly.
BETHANY
I guess.
AMY
Well, I can think of a couple things to do off the top of my head, but they include acts of violence against your BFF. And itâs hard to talk about him when heâs standing right there.
Bethany turns behind her and sees Deacon Anders standing at the entrance of the coffee shop.
Amy leans in close to Bethanyâs ear.
AMY
(whisper)
Donât let the Black Deacon get too close. Heâs already slapped a demon on you.
(louder)
Latte coming right up. Have a seat.
Bethany sees an empty table nearby and sits at it.
Deacon Anders walks over to the table and jovially plops down in the seat opposite her.
DEACON ANDERS
Bethany! I feel like I havenât seen you in ages. How are you?
BETHANY
Iâm doing fine.
DEACON ANDERS
Well, thatâs great. You must be busy, I havenât heard from you about next monthâs newsletter. I was so looking forward to our little brainstorming sesh.
BETHANY
Yeah, sorry about that. Iâve been sort of busy.
DEACON ANDERS
Dating I assume.
BETHANY
No, just visiting some old friends.
DEACON ANDERS
Friends?
He looks at her long and hard, a light smirk at the corner of this mouth.
DEACON ANDERS
Well good. I know itâs hard to hear, but Bethany, I just hate to see your little heart be put through the ringer time and time again. Itâs good youâre taking a break. Just as long as youâre doing something with your time and staying out of trouble. Idle hands and what not. I wouldnât want you poking your nose in other peopleâs business or trespassing out of boredom.Bethany stays quiet.
DEACON ANDERS
Now I understand from Hazel that you dropped by the rectory today.
BETHANY
Yes, I wanted to say hi. Like you said, itâs been a bit. But she said you were busy and I didnât want to disturb you.
DEACON ANDERS
That was very considerate of you.
Deacon Anders stands up.
DEACON ANDERS
I really should be going, I just saw you in here and I wanted to pop in and say hi. Do come down to the church soon so we can talk about the newsletter.
He pushes his chair in.
DEACON ANDERS
Until then, be well. And Iâm really proud of you for taking a break from dating and giving that horrendous dating site a rest.
Deacon Anders turns to leave.
BETHANY
Oh, Iâm still active on the site.
Deacon Anders turns back around.
BETHANY
For when Iâm done taking my break.
Deacon Anders drops his arms by his side and he takes on a look of concern.
DEACON ANDERS
How disappointing. I really wish you would advocate for yourself better.
BETHANY
Iâm the only one who advocates for me. Iâm sorry for keeping you.
DEACON ANDERS
What?
BETHANY
Donât you have to be going?
DEACON ANDERS
Yes. Yes I do. Hope to see you around church soon.
Bethany smiles but doesnât say anything.
Bethany watches Deacon Anders as he leaves. She doesnât notice Amy approaching the table.
Amy sits down in the seat Deacon Anders just vacated.
She makes a face.
AMY
Ew. Warm.
Bethany grimaces.
AMY
So I realized I know someone who can help you.
BETHANY
Really? Thank you. Who?
AMY
His nameâs Koju. Heâs a regular. Comes in pretty often. Runs a Spiritual Center. Iâve taken a few classes there. He might know what to do about your demon.
BETHANY
Heâs not my demon. I donât own him. I didnât conjure him.
AMY
No, we already established your friend did. But here.
She shows Bethany her phone.
AMY
This is this center. Itâs close by.
BETHANY
Can you give me his number? Or like contact him for me?
AMY
Actually, I have a way better idea.
Give me your phone.
Bethany gives Amy her phone.
AMY
What was the name of that dating app you use.
BETHANY
[Insert name of app]. Why?
Amy click on the app and accesses Bethanyâs profile.
AMY
Ah, there you are.
She does a quick search.
AMY
And thereâs Koju. If I wasnât into girls, I said hell yes to that picture.
Bethany leans over the table and cranes her head to see a very attractive guy with washboard abs.
Amy types out a message.
AMY
(typing on [Insert Dating App]}
Hey, youâre cute. Wanna meet up on Friday night.
Send.
She drops Bethanyâs phone. Bethany scrambles for her phone.
BETHANY
Omigod! What did you just do? I need to ask him for spiritual advice, not a date!
Amy types on her own phone.
AMY
Calm down. Iâm texting with him now and explaining to him about the whole thing, the possession, the evil Deacon, all that.
BETHANY
Why?
AMY
To see if Koju gets an email from Deacon Anders.
BETHANY
It still might not be him.
AMY
Itâs him alright. Besides, Koju will need to see it if heâs going to help you.
BETHANY
I would have shown him.
AMY
Yeah, but arenât traps more fun.
Bethany stares at her wide-eyed, rethinking her selection of temporary friend when she hears a PING on her phone.
AMY
Looks like Koju said yes. You have yourself a hot date. Wonât the Deacon priest be pleased.
-
Tasha Has Completed Act 2 Draft 1
Doing this assignment, I learned the following: a better understanding of the structure of Act 2 and how each scene contributes to driving the narrative further.
Act 2
INT. COFFEE – DAY
Bethany walks up to Amy at the cash register.
AMY
Back again so soon?
BETHANY
What?
AMY
Werenât you here yesterday and the day before that?
BETHANY
So?
AMY
So we have a strict policy about people using our wifi to work remotely. Go home. Pay for your own wifi.
BETHANY
I have my own wifi.
AMY
So then why are you here all the time? I mean you already came in a lot before–donât you have a life?
BETHANY
I do.
AMY
What about that cute guy you were in here with? You know, that Sailboat Ken guy. Go see him.
BETHANY
Have you seen him?
AMY
Nah, I have a girlfriend.
BETHANY
I mean here, have you seen him here? Recently?
AMY
I havenât. Wait, is that why youâre here all time now?
BETHANY
Just give me a latte and a chocolate chip cookies.
She throws a $10 bill on the counter and takes a seat at an empty table.
She pulls out her phone and takes a look at her call log. 23 outgoing messages to Brad, but no calls from him.
She calls his number again.
AUTOMATED MESSAGE
The number you have dialed has been disconnected.
Bethany dials the number again and gets the same message.
She slams her phone on the table and rubs her head with her palm. She thinks for a moment. Then she grabs her laptop and logons to the [Name of Dating Site].
She clicks on the link to Bradâs profile, but gets an error message.
BETHANY
What?
Frantically she refreshes the page a couple times, but still gets the error message.
Amy looks over Bethanyâs shoulder at her screen.
AMY
Oh, thatâs too bad.
Amy drops off the latte and the cookie.
AMY
Usually you get that kind of message when youâve been blocked. Believe me, I know.
BETHANY
What do I do?
AMY
I donât know, but sitting in here day after day probably isnât it. What did you do to him?
BETHANY
Nothing.
AMY
Sure. I guess if it was ânothingâ and it was me, Iâd hunt him down and make him explain himself.
Amy walks back to the counter where her co-worker, ADAM, pencil thin, black turtleneck, art-student adjacent, covers the cash register.
ADAM
What were you and Desperate Barbie talking about?
AMY
Nothing. I just told her to stalk her ex.
INT. COSTCO WAREHOUSE – DAY
Bethany walks into the Costco in the early morning. The store has just opened, so only the staff is milling around along with a few shoppers intent on beating the crowds.
CHASE, a 30 y.o., bass player for a punk alt pop fusion band, chipped purple polish, black tee, black knee length skirt and a blue costco staff vest, gabs with a coworker as he preps his work station at the Lens Center.
Bethany spots him.
BETHANY
Chase!
Chase looks up. At first he doesnât recognize Bethany. Then his face contorts into sheer terror and he bolts.
BETHANY
Chase?
Bethany sprints after him.
INT. COSTCO HALLWAY – DAY
Chase runs down an aisle. He gets to the end and looks behind him.
Bethany enters the aisle on the other end and Chase screams. He takes off at a faster clip.
BETHANY
(calling after him)
I just want to talk to you! Geez!
Bethany runs harder.
INT. COSTCO HALLWAY – DAY
Chase enters the Hallway. He comes to a fork. He looks down one way and then the other. He chooses the fork to his left and disappears down it.
Bethany enters the Hallway and arrives at the fork. She looks down both hallways. Chase is nowhere in sight. She doesnât know which one to pick.
She closes her eyes. She feels something push her towards the left fork. She opens her eyes. Nothing is there.
Slightly weirded out, she heads down the fork to the left.
INT. COSTCO STOCK ROOM – DAY
Bethany searches the rows and rows of shelves.
She passes Chaseâs hiding place and he makes a run for it, but heâs so panicked, he trips over a box.
Bethany turns and sees him fall.
She rushes over and crouches down to help him, but he pulls away from her.
CHASE
Get away from me!
He clumsily scoots back a few inches on his butt.
CHASE
Ow!
BETHANY
Chase stop! Why are you running away from me?
Bethany reaches for him.
CHASE
Donât touch me you monster?
Bethany stands up in surprise.
BETHANY
Monster? What have I ever done to you?
Chase stops. He thinks for a second.
CHASE
Well, nothing.
BETHANY
Then whatâs going on? Why did you run from me?
CHASE
Because Iâm afraid of you.
BETHANY
Is that why you ghosted me?
CHASE
Yes.
BETHANY
I donât understand. I thought we had a pretty good date. But then you just decided that I was scary?
CHASE
Thereâs more to it than that.
INT. COSTCO BREAK ROOM – DAY
Bethany, Chase and a whole lot of his fellow Costco employees gather around the big T.V. in the break room.
Chase connects his laptop to the T.V. and his laptop screen lights up the T.V. He clicks on a folder and brings up a clip.
Chase looks over his shoulder at the crowd.
He clicks the clip. It fills the screen and starts to play.
On the screen Bethany is 14 y.o. She writhes on the bed as Father Ptolemy and Frank try to restrain her.
BETHANY
How?
Bethany suddenly remembers that day. She sees a series of events:
The arrival of Father Ptolemy and Deacon Anders.
Frank yelling at her as he holds her down.
A camera on a tripod pointed at her from the corner of the room.
Suddenly, Bethany in the video breaks free from Father Ptolemy and Frank and leans forward on the foot of the bed, taunting Deacon Anders.
Deacon Anders pushes himself against the wall on the other side of the room and Bethany extends her arm towards him. Suddenly, he is dragged across the floor.
The crowd jumps and gasps.
Chase pauses as Bethany holds Deacon Anders by the throat with one hand.
MARIA, a middle-aged mother of three, clutches her Costco vest at her chest.
MARIA
Thatâs some Darth Vader shit.
(to Bethany)
Is that you?
BETHANY
Yes.
MARIA
(to Chase)
And you dated her?
CHARLES
Oh hell, no!
Fellow COSTCO employee, CHARLES, 35 y.o., large and typically intimidating, heads for the door.
The other Costco employees start to move away from Bethany and vacate the room.
CHASE
Donât leave me with her!
Chase leaves with them.
INT. COSTCO WAREHOUSE – DAY
Chase walks out onto the main floor with the other Costco employees.
Bethany follows right behind him.
BETHANY
Please Chase!
MARIA
(to Chase)
Donât let her out on the main floor.
(to Bethany)
You need to go, to like a convent or the Vatican or something.
BETHANY
(to Chase)
I just need to know who sent that video to you. Then Iâll be on my way. I swear.
MARIA
Swearing! Not today Satan!
Maria crosses herself and backs away.
MARIA
You better get rid of her, Chase!
Chase looks back at Bethany wide-eyed and freaked out.
CHASE
I canât help you.
BETHANY
Please.
CHASE
I donât know who sent it to me. All I know is we had our date and when I got home, it was waiting for me in my inbox.
BETHANY
Do you have the email it came from?
CHASE
The person used a disposable address.
BETHANY
Can you send me the file? Iâll give you my email.
CHASE
No offense, but I donât want anything to do with you, not even a one-time email exchange.
Bethany looks defeated.
CHASE
Iâm sorry.
Bethany looks up at him. She tries not to cry.
BETHANY
Chase, if someone hadnât sent you the video. If I was still that normal girl you went on a date with, would you have asked me out again?
Chase softens.
CHASE
You were awkward as hell, but I dug it. Yeah, probably.
Bethany nods, shoulders sagging. Defeated.
BETHANY
I just donât understand.
She turns to leave.
CHASE
(to himself)
Ah, man. Donât do this.
(to Bethany)
There is one thing.
Bethany stops and looks back at him.
CHASE
Thereâs this group. They meet at the community center. Thursdays at 8. If you need answers. I go sometimes. Although after this, I donât think theyâll want me back.
BETHANY
Thank you.
CHASE
Please leave.
Bethany nods and leaves.
INT. COMMUNITY CENTER – NIGHT
Bethany peers through the narrow window of one of the side doors to the Community Center. She sees a group of men have gathered in a circle near the stage. Each man sits on a metal folding chair.
Bethany slips in very quietly. As she approaches the circle she looks from face to face. They all look familiar.
CARL, 28, young guy, basic looking, wearing dark pants and a shirt, clasps his hands between his wide legs and hangs his head as he talks to the group.
CARL
And the worst part is, I donât trust any girl after that date. What if they all have some weird stuff going on with them. You never know. I can barely work on stuff with a girl thatâs just regular. What do you do when your relationship problems are supernatural?
Bethany recognizes him.
BETHANY
Carl!
Carlâs eyes widen in terror and he slowly rises from his seat pointing a shaky finger. The rest of the guys turn to see what heâs pointing at.
Bethany looks from face to face.
BETHANY
Luke? Jim? Jordan? Guy I donât remember the name of? What are you all doing here?
The men are frozen with terror as they watch her walk around their sacred circle.
Then Bethany looks up at the stage and sees the meeting banner. It reads: Survivors of Bethany.
BETHANY
Is this a support groupâŠfor guys who have dated me?
They all just stare at her. Then Carl screams and faints, falling to the ground. This calls the guys to action. A few guys rush to help him. Others jump out of their chairs, some run out of the room, some run behind their chairs like a protective barrier. Others stay frozen.
JAKE, 33 y.o., knit cap, suspenders, a stylist at a doggy spa, starts rocking back and forth in his chair.
JAKE
No, no, no, no, no, no! Itâs happening!
JIM, 27 y.o., jersey of his favorite team, baseball cap, immaculate tennis shoes, scrambles out of his chair.
JIM
What are you doing here?
Bethany takes a few steps forward.
BETHANY
I need help.
JIM
Get back you spawn of Satan?
BETHANY
I take it youâve all seen the video?
PHILIP, slacks, a long sleeve button up loose at the collar, a junior at a finance firm, addresses the others.
PHILIP
Donât respond to her, itâs a trick.
BETHANY
Itâs not a trick.
Somebody throws a paper cup at her.
BETHANY
Hey! Thatâs not cool!
PHILIP
Thatâs it, men! Attack! Throw whatever you have!
All the men are on their feet now, launching paper cups and napkins at her. She dodges a half eaten donut.
BETHANY
Stop! Please!
The barrage continues as Bethany starts to back away.
BETHANY
Please! Please!
No mercy from her ex suitors.
BETHANY
Please just stop!
Suddenly an unseen force blasts the men back down into their seats.
No one is hurt, but everybody is stunned, including Bethany.
BETHANY
I swear, I didnât do that.
The men donât say a word.
BETHANY
I just came here to see if any of you had seen the video of my possession. And if you had, I was going to ask if you could tell me who sent it to you and if you could give me a copy. Thatâs it. I didnât want to traumatize you any more than I guess I already have. I know I only had one date with most of you. But there were others, like Jordan, that I got to spend a few dates with.
The guys look at Jordan.
JORDAN
Iâm really bad at checking my email.
The guys nodded in agreement.
BETHANY
Some of the dates were awkward and they werenât going to turn into second dates. But some of them were nice and some of the connections I made felt good. Maybe I should have told you guys up front that I was once possessed, but honestly it was such a long time ago and until recently, there hadnât been any ramifications. Iâm so sorry if my desire to find love made me naive or even maybe a little bit selfish. Iâm going to go now. Iâm glad I got to at least say I was sorry.
JORDAN, 28 y.o., handsome and cool, stands up.
JORDAN
Iâll help you.
BETHANY
You will.
JORDAN
Iâm tired of being afraid of you. And it was useless coming here and hearing all of these guys. All it did was reinforce the fear. And you found us anyway. If all you want is answers, then Iâll help you. I have the video and I can send it to you. As for who sent it, none of us know. But we do have a theory.
JIM
But if we tell you, you have to promise to leave us alone.
BETHANY
Of course.
Jordan looks at the group and they nod.
JORDAN
Okay, then.
EXT. FARMHOUSE – DAY
Bethany looks up at the farmhouse. It looms over her, intimidating. She closes her eyes and walks up the front porch steps. She hesitates to knock on the front door. KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK.
After a moment Bethany hears somebody approach the door on the other side.
FRANK (O.S.)
(through the door)
Whoâs there?
BETHANY
(clearing her throat)
UhâŠIâm looking for Frank Sawyer.
The door creaks open. Frank, 49 y.o., flannel, still brawny but haggard, stands in the frame holding a rifle.
FRANK
I donât know you.
BETHANY
You used to.
Frank stares at her and then recognition flickers across his face.
Bethany picks up on this.
BETHANY
Howâs mama?
FRANK
She donât want to talk to you.
BETHANY
She doesnât have to talk to me. I just want to know how sheâs doing. And the twins? And Joey? How are they?
FRANK
I told that priest never to bring you around here again or Iâd kill you myself.
He cocks his rifle.
BETHANY
What? No, I-Iâm sorry. I just wanted to know if youâre sending people videos of my exorcism.
Frankâs rifle involuntarily lowers and his mouth drops open a bit. He did not expect such a question.
FRANK
I donât have video of that. That little guy who came with the priest. Heâs the one that recorded he events of that God-forsaken day.
Bethany flashes to that day. She sees a series of events:
Deacon Anders telling Father Ptolemy he wonât fail him again.
Deacon Anders putting the camera back in its bag.
Deacon Anders with the camera bag and tripod on his shoulder as he helps Bethany walk past Frank and leave her room.
BETHANY
(to herself)
How did I forget that?
FRANK
Maybe your demon made you forget.
BETHANY
My demon? Itâs not my demon. It doesnât belong to me.
FRANK
But you belong to it. Whatever you did, you belong to it.
BETHANY
I didnât do anything.
FRANK
Sometimes the wicked donât have to do anything. Just existing is enough.
Bethany is stunned into silence. This statement cuts her to the quick.
FRANK
I answered your question. You have about 3 seconds to get off my property before I see to it you donât do anything ever again, wicked or not.
Lost in thought, Bethany absentmindedly raises her hand in an automatically polite gesture of farewell, but cuts him off just the same.
BETHANY
(interrupting)
Thank you.
She blindly turns aways and walks down the steps to her car.
Frank aims his rifle at her once again then slams the door closed.
INT. RECTORY – DAY
Bethany slips into the rectory through a set of double doors. Itâs deserted. The entrance to Deacon Andersâ chambers is visible on the other side of the rectory.
As she quietly makes her way across the tiled floor, she notices vase after vase of dead flowers. The smell of rot fills the air. Flies BUZZ around the deadened black petals that are strewn all over the premises.
As if mesmerized, Bethany picks up a dead flower off the ground and holds her nose.
BETHANY
(to herself)
Dead roses?
HAZEL
Smells terrible doesnât it?
Bethany jumps.
HAZEL, 62 y.o., medium build, short, choppy, dyed-blond custodian with a smokerâs lip, wheels in a trash can.
Bethany waves away the scent in vain.
BETHANY
Yes, just awful. Why do you keep them around for so long?
HAZEL
Oh, these were fresh this morning.
She stretches her arm wide and gestures to the other flowers.
HAZEL
All of them were.
BETHANY
What happened?
HAZEL
I donât know. Probably the HVAC on the fritz.
She bends down with a groan and starts shoveling the dead flowers into the trash can.
HAZEL
Only thing I canât figure is how they became roses.
BETHANY
What do you mean?
HAZEL
Iâm an old broad so maybe the old noodle ainât what it used to be, but I could have sworn these were all chrysanthemums this morning.
BETHANY
Are you sure?
HAZEL
Pretty sure. Itâs not the first time this has happened, but the Deacon, forgive me, Father Anders, tells me that Iâm probably seeing things, he says it nicely of course, but–oh I donât know. So I just clean them up. Iâm okay with being crazy.
BETHANY
Where isâŠFather Anders now?
HAZEL
In his chambers not to be disturbed. Heâs in deep prayer.
BETHANY
Really?
(to herself)
Sometimes the wicked donât have to do anything. And sometimes they pray.
HAZEL
Come again.
Bethany smiles.
BETHANY
Oh, I didnât say anything. Well, if the priest is in his room, I better be on my way.
HAZEL
Did you need me to tell him anything?
BETHANY
No. I just had a question, but I think I answered it myself.
Have a good evening.
Bethany leaves. Hazel dumps another putrid bouquet in the trash can.
-
Tashaâs Act 2 TP â Midpoint
Doing this assignment, I learned the following: The midpoint doesnât have to have something big happen in it. A small thing could be discovered. Also, the protagonist doesnât even have to understand it, but it can still drive them deeper into their story.
Another lesson I learned is that sometimes you might mistake the wrong scene for the midpoint.
1. Outline your Key Scene 4: The Midpoint.
EXT. FARMHOUSE – DAY
Beginning: Bethany goes to her parents’ farmhouse. She talks to Frank (her mama donât want to speak to her). She asks after everyone. Frank tells her to get to the point.
Middle: She asks him if he and her mother are sending people the tape of her exorcism.
End: Frank tells her the only person who made a tape of that was Deacon Anders. He guesses sheâs dealing with her demon again. Bethany doesnât like the way he says itâs her demon (maybe add something in the beginning where Demon 23 says something particular about his claim/bond/connection to Frank that convinces him that Bethany is involved in or the reason for the demon. (Note: Will need to address why Demon 23 picked her – does he prey on her fears that she is evil and therefore attracts it, does he let her off the hook at the end? Then Frank tells her to leave and never come back.
INT. RECTORY – DAY
Beginning: Bethany looks for Deacon Anders in the rectory.
Middle: She sees bouquet after bouquet of rotting roses. Ending: The Cleaning Lady says she has no idea where they come from, they just keep appearing. Bethany asks if the Deacon is here and she said heâs in his chambers not to be disturbed. Heâs in deep prayer. Bethany leaves.
2. Write the Midpoint scene.
EXT. FARMHOUSE – DAY
Bethany looks up at the farmhouse. It looms over her, intimidating. She closes her eyes and walks up the front porch steps. She hesitates to knock on the front door. KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK.
After a moment Bethany hears somebody approach the door on the other side.
FRANK (O.S.)
(through the door)
Whoâs there?
BETHANY
(clearing her throat)
UhâŠIâm looking for Frank Sawyer.
The door creaks open. Frank, 49 y.o., flannel, still brawny but haggard, stands in the frame holding a rifle.
FRANK
I donât know you.
BETHANY
You used to.
Frank stares at her and then recognition flickers across his face.
Bethany picks up on this.
BETHANY
Howâs mama?
FRANK
She donât want to talk to you.
BETHANY
She doesnât have to talk to me. I just want to know how sheâs doing. And the twins and Joey? How are they?
FRANK
I told that priest never to bring you around here again or Iâd kill you myself.
He cocks his rifle.
BETHANY
What? I just need to know if youâre sending people videos of my exorcism.
Frankâs rifle involuntarily lowers and his mouth drops open a bit. He did not expect such a question.
FRANK
I donât have video of that. The person who recorded the events of that God-forsaken day was that little guy who came with the Father.
Bethany flashes to that day. She sees a series of events:
Deacon Anders telling Father Ptolemy he wonât fail him again.
Deacon Anders putting the camera back in its bag.
Deacon Anders with the camera bag and tripod on his shoulder as he helps Bethany walk past her father and leave her room.
BETHANY
How did I forget that?
FRANK
Maybe your demon made you forget.
BETHANY
My demon? Itâs not my demon. It doesnât belong to me.
FRANK
But you belong to it. Whatever you did, you belong to it.
BETHANY
I didnât do anything.
FRANK
Sometimes the wicked donât have to do anything. Just existing is enough.
Bethany is stunned into silence. This statement cuts her to the quick.
FRANK
I answered your question. You have about 3 seconds to get off my property before I see to it you donât do anything ever again, wicked or not.
Lost in thought, Bethany absentmindedly raises her hand in a polite and automatic gesture of farewell, but cuts him off just the same.
BETHANY
(interrupting)
Thank you.
She blindly turns aways and walks down the steps to her car.
Frank slams the door behind her.
INT. RECTORY – DAY
Bethany slips into the rectory. Itâs deserted.
She quietly makes her way across the ceramic tile steps towards the back where the entrance to Deacon Anders chambers is visible.
As she walks along the hallway, she notices vase after vase of dead floors. The smell of rot fills the air. Flies BUZZ around the deadened black petals are strewn all over the floor.
As if mesmerized, Bethany picks up a dead floor off the ground and holds her nose.
BETHANY
(to herself)
Dead roses?
HAZEL
Smells terrible doesnât it?
HAZEL, 62 y.o., medium build, short, choppy, dyed-blond custodian with a smokerâs lip, wheels in a trash can.
Bethany waves away the scent in vain.
BETHANY
Why do you keep them around for so long?
HAZEL
Oh, these were fresh this morning.
She stretches her arm wide and gestures to the other flowers.
HAZEL
All of them were.
BETHANY
What happened?
HAZEL
I donât know. Probably the HVAC on the fritz.
She bends down with a grown and starts shoveling the dead flowers into the trash can.
HAZEL
Only thing I canât figure is how they became roses.
BETHANY
What do you mean?
HAZEL
I may be an old broad so maybe the old noodle ainât what it used to be, but I could have sworn these were all chrysanthemums this morning.
BETHANY
Are you sure?
HAZEL
Pretty sure. Itâs not the first time this has happened, but the Deacon, forgive me, Father Anders, doesnât seem to believe me, so I just clean them up. Iâm okay with being crazy.
BETHANY
Where isâŠFather Anders now?
HAZEL
In his chambers not to be disturbed. Heâs in deep prayer.
BETHANY
Really?
(under her breath)
Sometimes the wicked donât have to do anything. And sometimes they pray.
HAZEL
Come again.
Bethany smiles.
BETHANY
Oh, I didnât say anything. Well, if the priest is in his room, I better be on my way.
HAZEL
Did you need me to tell him anything?
BETHANY
No. I just had a question, but I think I answered it myself.
Have a good evening.
Bethany leaves. Hazel dumps another putrid bouquet in the trash can.
-
ASSIGNMENT
Tashaâs Act 2 Reaction to TP 1
Doing this assignment, I learned the following: Having a beat sheet and outlining the scene makes all the difference if you want to write something fast. I canât believe how easy it is to keep up with the lessons just using those two tools.
1. Using your Beat Sheet, outline Key Scene 1.
INT. COFFEE – DAY
Beginning: Bethany tries to order from Amy but get grilled about why sheâs been hanging at the coffee shop a lot and finds out Bethany is looking for Brad.
Middle: Bethany tries his number again but this time she gets a message that his number has been disconnected. She tries contacting him through the dating app, but she can no longer access his profile.
End: Bethany asks Amy if sheâs seen the guy she was with and Amy so no. She suggests that maybe Bethany needs to try another tactic because this one isnât working.
INT. COSTCO – DAY
Beginning: Bethany tracks down one of her ex suitors to talk to him.
Middle: The guy sees Bethany and runs away. Bethany chases him.
End:The guy tries hard to get away from her but she corners him in the employee bathroom. She tells him she just wants to know why he stopped seeing her.
INT. COSTCO BREAK ROOM – DAY
Beginning: Bethany, the guy and a lot of his coworkers gather around the tv in the breakroom and plays a tape.
MIDDLE: The tape shows Bethanyâs exorcism. The coworkers realize itâs the girl and they canât believe it.
END: Bethany asks him where he got the tape and he says he got it in the mail the day after their date. She asks if he would have asked her out again and he tells her he would have if it wasnât for the tape.
2. Write the âReaction to the Turning Pointâ scene.
INT. COFFEE – DAY
Bethany walks up to Amy at the cash register.
AMY
Back again so soon?
BETHANY
What?
AMY
Werenât you here yesterday and the day before that?
BETHANY
So?
AMY
So we have a strict policy about people using our wifi to work remotely. Go home. Pay for your own wifi.
BETHANY
I have my own wifi.
AMY
So if itâs not the job, why are you here all the time? I mean you already came in a lotâŠ.donât you have a life?
BETHANY
I do.
AMY
What about that cute guy you were in here with a few days ago? You know, that Sailboat Ken guy. Go see him.
BETHANY
Have you seen him?
AMY
Nah, I have a girlfriend.
BETHANY
I mean here, have you seen him here? Recently?
AMY
I havenât. Wait, is that why you come in here all the time now?
BETHANY
Just give me a latte and a chocolate chip cookies.
She throws a $10 bill on the counter and takes a seat at an empty table.
She pulls out her phone and takes a look at her call log. 23 outgoing messages to Brad, but no calls from him.
She calls his number again.
AUTOMATED MESSAGE
The number you have dialed has been disconnected.
Bethany dials the number again and gets the same message.
She slams her phone on the table and rubs her phone head with her palm. She thinks for a moment. Then she grabs her laptop and logons to the [Name of Dating Site].
She clicks on the link to Bradâs profile, but gets an error message.
BETHANY
What?
Frantically she refreshes the page a couple times, but still gets the error message.
Amy looks over Bethanyâs shoulder at her screen.
AMY
Oh, thatâs too bad.
Amy drops off the latte and the cookie.
AMY
Usually you get that kind of message when youâve been blocked. Believe me, I know.
BETHANY
What do I do?
AMY
I donât know, but sitting in here day after day probably isnât the answer. What did you do to him?
BETHANY
Nothing.
AMY
Then if it was me, Iâd hunt him down and make him explain himself.
Amy walks back to the counter where her co-worker, ADAM, pencil thin, black turtleneck, art-student adjacent, covers the cash register.
ADAM
What were you and Desperate Barbie talking about?
AMY
Nothing. I just told her to stalk her ex.
INT. COSTCO WAREHOUSE – DAY
Bethany walks into the Costco in the early morning. The store has just opened, so only the staff is milling around and a few shoppers intent on beating the crowds.
CHASE, a 30 y.o.bass player for a punk alt pop fusion band, chipped purple polish, black tee, black knee length skirt and a blue costco staff vest, gabs with a coworker as he preps his work station at the Lens Center.
Bethany spots him.
BETHANY
Chase!
Chase looks up. At first he doesnât recognize Bethany. Then his face lights up in sheer terror and he runs.
BETHANY
Chase?
Bethany sprints after him.
INT. COSTCO HALLWAY – DAY
Chase runs down an aisle. He gets to the end and looks behind him.
Bethany enters the aisle on the other end and Chase screams. He takes off at a faster clip.
BETHANY
(calling after him)
I just want to talk to you! Geez!
Bethany runs harder.
INT. COSTCO HALLWAY – DAY
Chase enters the Hallway. He comes to a fork. He looks down one way and then the other. He chooses the fork to his left and disappears down it.
Bethany enters the Hallway and arrives at the fork. She looks down both hallways. Chase is nowhere in sight. She doesnât know which one to go to.
She closes her eyes. She feels something push her towards the left fork. She opens her eyes. Nothing is there.
Slightly weirded out, she heads down the fork to the left.
INT. COSTCO STOCK ROOM – DAY
Bethany searches the rows and rows of shelves.
She passes Chases hiding place and he makes a run for it, but heâs so panicked, he trips over a box.
Bethany turns and sees him fall.
She rushes over and crouches down to help him, but he pulls away from her.
CHASE
Get away from me!
He clumsily scoots back a few inches on his butt.
CHASE
Ow!
BETHANY
Chase stop! Why are you running away from me?
Bethany reaches for him.
CHASE
Donât touch me you monster?
Bethany stands up in surprise.
BETHANY
Monster? What have I ever done to you?Chase stops. He thinks for a second.
CHASE
Well, nothing.
BETHANY
Then whatâs going on? Why did you run from me?
CHASE
Because Iâm afraid of you.
BETHANY
Is that why you ghosted me?
CHASE
Yes.
BETHANY
I donât understand. I thought we had a pretty good date. But then you just decided that I was scary?
CHASE
Thereâs more to it than that.
INT. COSTCO BREAK ROOM – DAY
Bethany, Chase and a whole lot of his fellow Costco employees gather around the big T.V. in the break room.
Chase connects his laptop to the T.V. and his laptop screen lights up the T.V. He clicks on a folder and brings up a clip.
Chase looks over his shoulder at the crowd.
He clicks the clip. It fills the screen and starts to play.
On the screen Bethany is 14 y.o. She writhes on the bed as Father Ptolemy and Frank try to restrain her.
BETHANY
How?
Bethany suddenly remembers that day. She sees a series of events:
The arrival of Father Ptolemy and Deacon Anders that day.
Deacon Anders setting up the camera in the corner of the room.
Deacon Anders putting the camera back in itâs case after telling Father Ptolemy he wonât fail him again.
Deacon Anders with the camera bag on his shoulder, the tripod in one hand and his other hand around Bethany supporting her weight as he helps her to walk past her father and leave her room.
Suddenly, Bethany in the video breaks free from Father Ptolemy and Frank and leans forward on the foot of the bed, taunting Deacon Anders.
Deacon Anders pushes himself against the wall on the other side of the room and Bethany extends her arm towards him. Suddenly, he is dragged across.
The crowd jumps and gasps.
Chase pauses as Bethany strangles Deacon Anders with one hand.
MARIA, a middle-aged mother of three, clutches her Costco vest at her chest.
MARIA
(to Bethany)
Is that you?
BETHANY
Yes.
MARIA
(to Chase)
And you dated her?
CHARLES
Oh hell, no!
Fellow COSTCO employee, CHARLES, 35 y.o. Large and brawny heads for the door.
The other Costco employees start to move away from Bethany.
CHASE
Donât leave me with her.
He leaves with them.
INT. COSTCO WAREHOUSE – DAY
Chase walks out onto the main floor with the other Costco employees.
Bethany follows right behind him.
BETHANY
Please Chase!
MARIA
(to Chase)
Donât let her out on the main floor.
(to Bethany)
You need to go, to like a convent or the Vatican or something.
BETHANY
(to Chase)
I just need to know who sent that video to you and Iâll be on my way. I swear.
MARIA
Swearing! Not today Satan!
Maria crosses herself and backs away.
MARIA
(to Chase)
Get rid of her!
Chase looks back at Bethany wide-eyed and freaked out.
CHASE
I canât help you.
BETHANY
Please.
CHASE
Iâm sorry. I donât know who sent it to me. All I know is that we had our date and when I got home, it was waiting for me in my inbox.
BETHANY
Do you have the email?
CHASE
The person used a disposable address.
BETHANY
Can you send me the file? Iâll give you my email.
CHASE
No offense, but I donât want to have anything to do with you.
Bethany looks defeated.
CHASE
Iâm sorry.
Bethany looks up at him. She tries not to cry.
BETHANY
Chase, if someone hadnât sent you the video. If I was still that normal girl you went on a date with. Would you have asked me out again?
Chase considers the question and smiles.
CHASE
You were awkward as hell, but I dug it. Yeah, probably.
BETHANY
Thank you.
CHASE
Please leave.
Bethany nods and leaves.
-
Tasha Finished Act 1
Doing this assignment, I learned the following: how easy the different assignments made it to get an Act 1 together. I really dig the freedom of being able to write at 20% for the first draftâ
1. Outline any other scenes left to write in Act 1.
EXT. FAST FOOD RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Beginning: Bethany goes on a terrible date that has some strange but subtle (deniable) supernatural elements to it.
Middle: Bethany makes up a bunch of different stuff and the guy asks her if sheâs possessed and she says no but then Demon 23 does something undeniably supernatural and.
End: The guy leaves the date while Bethany is mid-sentence.
INT. Apartment – Night
Beginning: Bethany sits at her desk in her darkened apartment, the only light is from her laptop. It illuminates her sad face. She opens her dating app and responds to Brad, declining his request to meet up.
Middle: Brad responds right away and tells her heâs bummed. He tries to convince her to change her mind but she makes up an excuse for not being able to see him.
End: He asks if they could do it another time and she says maybe to let him down easy. He says great and it will be his treat. Bethany ends the chat. She goes to close the dating app but stops and quickly types a few words to Brad, before erasing them and making herself close her laptop.
2. Write a 20% draft of those scenes.
3. With those scenes done, do a quick read of Act 1 and add/improve anything youâd like. No wordsmithing!
Act 1:
Opening:
INT. BETHANYâS CHILDHOOD BEDROOM – DAY
A modest girlâs room, wallpapered with a design of petite autumn flowers. Brown gingham curtains. A plain white quilt with brown trim over a mattress on a rod iron bed frame. Bouquets of dead flowers are everywhere with tags that say Get Well Soon, Hope you Feel Better, We Miss You at School.
Bethany, a blond, schoolgirl, innocent and kind, 14 y.o., writhes on her bed. Her body contorts into tortured shapes and her tongue wags uncontrollably from her mouth as the sound of thousands of sinister voices groan in her throat like an animalâs guttural, warning growl. Her face is haggard, dark and ghastly.
DEMON 23
(talking through Bethany)
I will rip her from head to sternum before I ever give her up.
Rip marks form all over her skin.
FRANK, Bethanyâs father, 35 y.o. Grizzled and burly recoils from his daughter and eyes the door.
FATHER PTOLEMY, 72, y.o. Wizen and gray from his years as a priest charges forward and douses Bethany with holy water. She jerks and screams in pain.
FATHER PTOLEMY
(to Frank)
Hold your daughter down!
(to Deacon Anders)
Read [Insert Bible verse]!
DEACON ANDERS, 25, a priest in training. Eyes wide in horror, his slight frame quivering. He just watches paralyzed.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Damn it Deacon! Read it!
Bethanyâs body rises up, breaking free from Father Ptolemy and Frank. She rolls forward but remains unnaturally up right as if being propped up by an unseen force.
She looks straight into Deacon Anders eyes smiling an unnatural menacing smile.
DEMON 23
(talking through Bethany)
If you want to give up like your mother did, use your blade. Bethany could use company.
Deacon Anders drops the Bible and backs aways until he presses his back against the far bedroom wall away from Bethany.
Bethany raises her hand. Deacon Anders is pulled towards her, his feet gliding across the room on their tiptoes. His neck comes to rest in Bethanyâs death grip.
DEMON 23
(talking through Bethany)
I snap your neck. I add you to my collection.
Deacon Anders struggles to breathe.
Father Ptolemy pries Bethanyâs grip off of Deacon Anders and Deacon Anders falls to the ground.
Father Ptolemy struggles to restrain Bethany.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Frank!
Frank aids Father Ptolemy and they return Bethany to a reclining position in her bed. She falls limp, head lulling to one side. Eyes unfocused and distant.
Deacon Anders, cringing on the floor, removes his pocket knife from his robes without taking his eyes off Bethany’s limp form.
Bethanyâs eyes dart over to him and she flicks a snake-like tongue at him.
Deacon Anders jumps to his feet and rushes towards Bethany.
DEACON ANDERS
Die!
He raises the blade intent on sending down a fatal strike.
FATHER PTOLEMY
No!
Father Ptolemy turns and blocks Deacon Andersâ blow. They struggle. Bethanyâs body starts to jerk and undulate.
Frank jumps away and Bethany laughs wildly. He shakes his head and runs out of the room.
Deacon Anders and Father Ptolemy crash against a wall, locked in physical battle.
Bethany stops laughing and flopping about on the bed.
Her eyes close. Her body stays still and straight.
Very slowly her lips begin to move. Very faintly she mumbles something.
Her voice starts to grow in sound as she continues to mumble.
BETHANY
I am light…I am light…I am light…
Unnoticed by Father Ptolemy and Deacon Anders, Bethany struggles to a sitting position. Then with great effort, she crawls across the bed. At the foot of her bed she leans down and scoops up the Bible.
BETHANY
I am light. I am light. I am light.
She flips the book open to the verse Father Ptolemy asked for and she starts to read it.
Father Ptolemy and Deacon Anders stop fighting and look over.
DEMON 23
(speaking through Bethany)
This cannot save you.
Bethany rises up and her body is hurled at the headboard of her bed. She crashes down on the mattress, but she still holds onto the Bible.
Father Ptolemy rushes to her and cradles her in his arms. He helps her hold the Bible up and finds that her finger, broken and bruised, is inserted between the pages of the bible. He opens it up to [Insert Bible Verse here] and begins to read it.
Soon, Bethany joins him.
Together, their voices grow stronger as Bethany undulates between her voice and the voice of Demon 23.
Bethany starts to levitate and is pulled out of Father Ptolemyâs arms. He falters.
BETHANY
Keep reading!
Father Ptolemy reads the verse over and over again.
Bethany begins to recite the Lordâs Prayer.
Deacon Anders watches as Bethany throws back her head and lets out one long, loud, painful scream and expels a shadowy essences from her. She falls back on the bed.
Beautiful vibrant roses bloom on all the bouquets and on the bushes outside her window. Bethany slumbers. A peaceful glow on her.
Frank enters the room.
FRANK
Is it over?
Father Ptolemy gives him a tired nod.
FRANK
(Looking at all the rose)
This will probably be the last time she gets any flowers. What boy would want her after this?
Father Ptolemy collects his hat. Deacon Anders scrambles over to Father Ptolemy and hands him his coat.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Now youâre helpful.
DEACON ANDERS
I deeply apologize. I will never fail you again.
Father Ptolemy raises a dubious eyebrow and Deacon Anders looks away.
FRANK
Where are you going?
FATHER PTOLEMY
Home.
FRANK
You canât just leave her.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Donât worry, I will be back to check on her.
FRANK
No, I mean you canât just leave her here.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Pardon?
FRANK
She canât stay here. We have children.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Sheâs your daughter.
FRANK
No sir, not after what I saw. I donât know what she is.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Sheâs an innocent girl whoâs just been through a horrible event and she needs you to heal.
FRANK
If you donât take her here and now Father, Iâm going to kill her. I donât care if I go to jail.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Or if you damn your soul?
FRANK
Killing that thing would be Godâs work.
Father Ptolemy stares into Frankâs eyes and sees no love for Bethany there.
FATHER PTOLEMY
(to Deacon Anders)
Collect the girl.
DEACON ANDERS
Father?
FATHER PTOLEMY
She needs our protection.
Deacon Anders hesitates to touch Bethany.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Hurry up!
Deacon Anders rouses Bethany who wakes up but is still quite groggy. He gets her to her feet and with her arm slung around his shoulders, walks her to the door.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Weâll be back for her things.
Father Ptolemy shakes his head and exits the room.
Helping Bethany walk, Deacon Anders stops short of exiting the room to address Frank.
DEACON ANDERS
I will keep close watch. You have my word.
Bethany looks up.
BETHANY
Papa?
Frank steals his face and turns his back on her.
Bethany drops her head, weighed down by fatigue and sadness. Deacon Anders wearily guides her through the door.
EXT. FAST FOOD RESTAURANT – NIGHT
BETHANY, now 28 y.o., still blonde, attractive, small waist, big smile, beauty queen potential, but she wouldnât know it. Her hair in a side ponty-tail, glasses perched on her nose, cute summer dress covered by a sweater – more funky than mousy. She sits nervously, trying not to rest her hands on the surface of the faux wood table because itâs sticky.
BEN, tall, gaunt, thin lips that curl downward into a scowl when heâs focusing or just relaxed, hair that is either punk and edgy or just hasnât been washed in a while, walks into the restaurant and scans the dining area.
Bethany gives him a little wave and he heads over to her.
She hurriedly stands up to greet him and at the same time he leans down to peck her on the cheek. This causes both of them to simultaneously pull back from each other. Ben tries again. So does Bethany. And they pull back again awkwardly.
BEN
You donât have to get up.
BETHANY
Oh.
She stands still and Ben gives her a kiss on the cheek.
Bethany smiles awkwardly and sits down.
Ben remains standing and turns to look at the fast food menu that hangs above the cash register [or whatever that area is called].
BETHANY
Youâre not going to sit?
Ben stares down at her with his creepy cupie doll eyes, mouth agape. Either he can’t understand what heâs looking at — a human female — and itâs silently horrifying to him or heâs weighing what heâs about to say. Whatever it is, itâs weird.
Bethany watches him wearily.
BEN
Yeah, Iâm just thinking about what to order. What are you getting?
BETHANY
Oh, I uhâŠ
She looks at the menu.
BETHANY
Iâll just get the #4.
BEN
Great. Iâll order mine first while you watch the table. Then you can go up.
BETHANY
Oh, okay.
Ben heads over to the line before Bethany finishes her short sentence.
She pauses for a second then thinks to get her wallet out of her purse. Then she stops and looks over at Ben and hears him order a bunch of stuff, none of which is the #4. He then pays for everything. The order taker hands him a fountain drink and Ben moves to the side and waits. His tall frame slouching, one hand hanging off the back of his jeans as he sips his drink and watches the food prep being down.
Bethanyâs shoulders sink just a bit. She turns to her purse, doesnât remove her wallet, but opens it inside the purse and files through a few bills before picking out a $10 and a $5.
She closes up her wallet and purse and makes a big movement to swing out of the booth when she almost collides with Ben.
She doesnât make contact with him though because Ben saw her coming and stopped short.
They both stare at each other. Close call.
Then Benâs tray flips out of his hands.
BEN
Hey! Why did you do that?
BETHANY
What? I didnât do anything?
BEN
Youâre mad I didnât pay for your food, arenât you.
BETHANY
What?
BEN
You didnât have to make a scene about it.
BETHANY
What? Wait? Would you have paid if I asked?
BEN
No. But we could have figured something out.
BETHANY
Figured something out?
BEN
Yeah, like you pay for both of us this time and I get the next time. But lady, Iâm telling you now, I canât do drama in my next relationship. Maybe if you were my last girlfriend instead of Sheila, but man I donât think you should be my next girlfriend.
BETHANY
I wasnât asking.
BEN
I donât need some chick jealous about my food acting all possessed.
BETHANY
Possessed? Iâm not possessed.
BEN
Tell that to the chicken nuggets, Miss I-use-telekinsis-or-some-shit to throw tantrums.
BETHANY
But, Ben I didnât. I assure you Iâm not possessed.
BEN
(interrupting)
Iâm outta here.
He starts to leave, but stops and turns.
BEN
No, I promised myself I would stand up to abuse.
BETHANY
Abuse?
BEN
Yeah, you owe me $12.50.
Bethany is speechless for a second.
BETHANY
I-I donât have $12.50.
BEN
Whatâs that in your hand?
She looks down at her hand.
BETHANY
$15.
Ben plucks the money out of her hand and heads for the door, but just before he can push it open, the two bills get yanked out of his hand and he stumbles into the door like heâs been pushed.
Ben stares at her with terror in his eyes!
BEN
Okay! Okay! Keep your haunted money! Just stop pushing me.
BETHANY
I didnât.
BEN
Just leave me alone.
Ben scrambles out the door and away from the restaurant.
Bethany looks around at the handful of patrons that have stopped to watch her.
She looks down and sees a mop in a bucket being wheeled over to her. It stops next to the upturned tray of food. Someone clears her throat and Bethany is looking at a disgruntled fast food employee, 18 y.o., stout, red-faced and red hair, answering to the name BLUE on her name tag.
BLUE
I donât clean up acts of jealousy.
She hands the broom handle to Bethany and walks aways.
Bethany can feel eyes burrowing into her. She leans the mop against her booth, crouches down, and self-consciously picks up the tray and starts piling food onto it.
INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT
Bethany enters her apartment.
She drops her bag on the floor and tosses her keys on the entryway table.
She shifts through her mail as she absentmindedly closes and locks her door.
She tosses the mail on the entryway table next to the keys but retains one envelope. She starts to open it as she walks across the living room to her kitchen. Her apartment is open concept.
She stops midway across the floor and slowly looks up from her mail.
She surveys the empty apartment and her eyes land on a corner of the kitchen which is obscured by an unnaturally dark and opaque shadow. She canât see anything through it.
She touches her left shoulder with her right and winces.
She begins to rub it, but stops.
BETHANY
Is someone there?
The curtains hanging in front of her windows and sliding glass door ripple in one continuous wave ending at a window nearest the kitchen. She checks and sees that the window is open but the night air is stagnant. She closes it.
Something in the darkened corner of the kitchen drops causing her to startle. She looks over but canât see what it is because the shadow is just so thick.
She tries to step to the side of the shadow for another perspective, but it moves. She pulls back and her breath catches in her throat.
CRASH! A kitchen shelf falls. Bethany jumps as objects bounce out of the shadows.
The last objects roll to a stop and the shadow goes away.
Bethany breathes rapidly and stares into her kitchen.
BETHANY
Are you there?
She waits.
No response.
She clicks the kitchen light on and cleans up the mess.
INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY
Bethany sits at a two person table designing a church newsletter on her laptop.
Deacon Anders takes the seat opposite her and puts his mug of tea and plate topped with a cookie down on the table.
Bethany looks up and notices his mug of tea.
BETHANY
No coffee today?
DEACON ANDERS
Giving it up for Lent. So I got my herbal tea here. As long as I still get to eat my cookie Iâm all good. Can I see what you got so far?
Bethany rotates the laptop and pushes it towards him. Deacon Anders lifts the glasses he wears on a chain around his neck and examines it.
DEACON ANDERS
Wow, this looks great. We really should be paying you.
BETHANY
Iâm pretty sure that would be a sin.
Deacon Anders
Bethany–
BETHANY
No really, you know I make more than enough as a graphic artist. And you helped me find a position where I can work from home, so itâs the least I could do.
Bethany sighs and wistfully watches a couple being lovey dovey a few tables over.
BETHANY (CONâT)
I just wish I wasnât so lonely.
DEACON ANDERS
How did last night go?
Bethany looks back at Deacon Anders and she shakes her head in disappointment.
BETHANY
Another stellar date.
DEACON ANDERS
It couldnât of been that bad. They canât all be bad.
BETHANY
I wish.
DEACON ANDERS
Well what happened?
[INSERT AWKWARD HIGHLIGHTS FROM HER DATE WITH BEN]
Deacon Anders mouth is a little bit agape.
DEACON ANDERS
You had to pay and clean up the nuggets?
Bethany shrugs and looks like sheâs on the verge of tears.
He closes his mouth and clears his throat to quickly gather his thoughts.
DEACON ANDERS
You know, Bethany. Itâs not a big deal if you donât date. I donât date.
BETHANY
Are you saying I should become a nun?
DEACON ANDERS
Well, there are worse ideas. Going into the church worked for me.
Bethany smiles.
BETHANY
If only I didnât want that crazy little thing called love.
DEACON ANDERS
Hey, Godâs love is no joke. Not to mention he always has your back. And so do his devoted followers.
BETHANY
Thanks.
DEACON ANDERS
Youâre welcome. But really Bethany, thereâs just been so many bad dates–remember the time [Insert anecdote of terrible date here]. Oh gosh, and then there was the one where [Insert anecdote of another terrible date here].
BETHANY
Thanks for the reminders.
DEACON ANDERS
Iâm just saying, how much can a person take? I worry. With this last date, did you mention, you know, youâre past.
BETHANY
Why would I do that? I want a chance, remember?
DEACON ANDERS
I didnât know if your policy had changed or not.
BETHANY
It never changes.
She puts her head down.
DEACON ANDERS
Did you just stifle a âbutâ or like a segue or something. I feel like there was more to that statement.
BETHANY
I think Demon 23 was in my apartment last night.
DEACON ANDERS
What?
BETHANY
Yeah. I think so.
Deacon Anders points to her cup.
DEACON ANDERS
What is that?
BETHANY
Double espresso.
Deacon Anders grabs it and downs it in one gulp.
DEACON ANDERS
Proceed.
BETHANY
I think I felt him. Or maybe not.
DEACON ANDERS
What happened?
BETHANY
A shelf fell in my kitchen.
DEACON ANDERS
And?
BETHANY
Thatâs it.
DEACON ANDERS
And you automatically think demon, not shoddy workmanship?
BETHANY
I know, but-
DEACON ANDERS
How many times have you thought this only for it to turn out to be nothing?
BETHANY
A lot.
DEACON ANDERS
A lot. So, shoddy work?
BETHANY
Maybe. Probably. Oh no, it was shoddy work, wasnât it.
The PING of a notification on Bethanyâs laptop catches Deacon Andersâs attention.
DEACON ANDERS
Looks like you got something from [Insert Dating App Name here].
He rotates the laptop and pushes it towards her.
Bethany clicks on the app and sees she has a message.
BETHANY
Brad Finley? I used to go to school with him. He transferred out of our district before high school, but I knew him all throughout Elementary School and Junior high.
DEACON ANDERS
Thatâs nice. Is he trying to make a love connection?
BETHANY
No. He just wants to catch up over coffee.
Bethany looks up. She smiles, a bit giddy.
DEACON ANDERS
Youâre not thinking of responding, are you?
Bethanyâs smile falters.
BETHANY
I was.
DEACON ANDERS
Bethany, you just told me you thought Demon 23 was in your apartment last night.
BETHANY
Yeah, but you said it was shoddy workmanship.
DEACON ANDERS
I know I said that and I meant it, but, and I donât mean to be indelicate here, but, with your past, maybe we should take it a bit more seriously.
BETHANY
But itâs just a catch up. Nothing romantic. Whatâs the harm?
DEACON ANDERS
I donât know.
Bethany looks at him pleadingly.
BETHANY
You know I hate it when I donât have your approval.
She gives him puppy dog eyes and sticks her bottom lip out. Deacon Anders smiles.
DEACON ANDERS
You poor miserable thing. Fine.
Bethany cheers and jumps out of her seat, rounds the table and gives him a hug.
BETHANY
Thank you.
Suddenly, her laptop flips off the table and lands on the ground.
Bethany and Deacon Anders look at it suspiciously.
DEACON ANDERS
I donât think you should contact him.
INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT
Bethany sits at her desk in her darkened apartment. The only light from her laptop screen illuminates her sad face.
She opens her dating app and looks at Bradâs profile. She clicks through his photos. There are a few of him wearing business casual at what looks to be a work event. Thereâs one with his arms up as he runs in the park with his dog. Clearly that was a candid taken by a friend or an ex. The last picture she looks at is of him on a sailboat looking windblown and sun kissed.
BETHANY
It would have been nice to catch up.
BETHANY
(typing on the Dating App)
Hi Brad. I really wish I could catch up, but I wonât be able to. Sorry about that. Take care.
She hits send and is about to close her laptop when she hears a notification.
She opens it back on. Brad is online and he is messaging her.
BRAD
(typing on the Dating App)
Really? Iâm sooooo bummed. Is that a no no, or should I ask again in a week?
BETHANY
(typing on the Dating App)
I think for now itâs a no, no.
BRAD
(typing on the Dating App)
Any chance you might change your mind?
Bethany hesitates to respond.
BRAD
(typing on the Dating App)
Maybe somedayâŠ.in the futureâŠif Iâm lucky?
Bethany smiles.
BETHANY
(typing on the Dating App)
Maybe if youâre lucky.
BRAD
(typing on the Dating App)
Great! Coffee will be on me.
BETHANY
(to herself)
If youâre anything like BenâŠ
(typing on the Dating App)
I got to go.
BRAD
(typing on the Dating App)
I understand. Itâs late. Iâll be looking forward to maybe getting coffee with youâŠin the futureâŠ.if Iâm lucky.
BETHANY
(typing on the Dating App)
:lauging emoji:
Bye.
BRAD
(typing on the Dating App)
Night.
Brad signs off.
Bethanyâs smile fades away and she breathes a long, sad sigh. She closes her laptop and sits alone in the dark.
Inciting Incident:
INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY
Bethany stares up at the menu while she waits in line to order coffee. There are a few people behind her including BRAD, 28 y.o., blonde, athletic, cute. Sparkly blue eyes. A Ken doll to Bethanyâs blonde Barbie.
Brad leans out of line and watches Bethany as she bops her head along to whatever her oversized white headphones are playing into her ears.
Brad smiles.
Bethany walks up to the barista. She pulls down her headphones and is shocked to hear Brad give his order. Her headphones stopped her from noticing he had slipped right next to her.
BRAD
One mocha please and whatever the lady is having.
He removes a 20 from his pocket.
AMY, the barista, purple hair, plump, nose ring and a perfect dose of attitude, scoffs.
AMY
Well, thatâs a new way to hop the line. So, you letting him do this?
Bethany, still a little stunned, manages to stammer out her order.
BETHANY
A latte. And a cookie. And a croissant. And a bagel sandwich.
Amy rings up the order and Brad pays, forking over another $20.
He follows Bethany to a table where they sit down.
BRAD
Next time Iâll be sure to specify the lady can have one thing.
Bethany pulls out a $20 and offers it to him.
Brad waves her off.
BRAD
I was only kidding.
Bethany smiles patiently.
BRAD
So?
BETHANY
So, I should be pretty freaked out right now, but you look too much like your profile picture to know youâre not some random dude who strong-armed himself into buying me coffee. And you havenât changed in 14 years.
BRAD
Surely I filled out a bit. And I have way less acne.
BETHANY
I always thought your acne was kind of cute.
BRAD
I always thought you were kind of cute.
BETHANY
Wow, we veered quickly into flirtatious territory, didnât we. I thought you just wanted to catch up.
BRAD
Well, you started it. Nobody could resist a compliment about their acne. I thought you were the one who didnât want to catch up.
BETHANY
No, I did, I do.
BRAD
Thatâs what I thought. Thatâs why I showed up here, I was hoping to bump into you.
BETHANY
How did you know I would be here?
BRAD
Itâs like the background of almost every picture you have on your dating profile. I recognized the place. Are you disappointed?
BETHANY
No, not at all. Iâm actually flattered.
BRAD
Good. Flattery looks good on you. So how have you been since the 8th grade? You donât have much of a social presence. Otherwise I wouldnât have bothered with a face-to-face. I would have just stalked you online like a normal person. So imagine when I saw Bethany Sawyer was on my dating app. I had to say hi.
BETHANY
Thereâs really not too much to tell. I went to college. Became a graphic designer. I live alone. I have a few hobbies.
BRAD
Dating seems to be one.
BETHANY
I guess it is, but it never pans out.
BRAD
I was just about to ask how youâre single.
BETHANY
Boring. Iâm pretty boring.
BRAD
You donât seem boring to me.
BETHANY
Well, I do volunteer work with a bunch of foster kids, and they tell me Iâm boring. Like all the time. They just keep doing it. Unsolicited.
BRAD
Oh no, youâre boring and a do-gooder.
BETHANY
Iâm afraid I am. So Iâll understand if you actually want that $20.
Brad laughs.
BRAD
Well, actually no. Quite the opposite in fact. I want to spend more than $20 on you. And I want you to wear something nice when I do it, and I want us to be sitting at a table with a tablecloth on it and shiny cutlery and one of those little battery operated candles. I want to be able to embarrass you with stories from our past, especially the one about how you were the first girl I ever kissed and how I think it ruined me for all other kisses.
BETHANY
Are you asking me out?
BRAD
Iâve been wanting to ask you out for about 14 years.
Bethany smiles at Brad, but notices the cutlery on the table near him moving. It looks like something unseen is trying to lift the spoon, but then moves to the knife. The point of the knife starts to lift up from the table.
BRAD
So what do you think?
Bethany leans over and kisses Brad while forcefully flattening the cutlery to the table with her hand to make it stop moving.
Bradâs hands rise up and gently caress the side of Bethanyâs face. They linger in the kiss for a while before they pull apart.
BRAD
I hope thatâs a yes.
Bethany looks down at her hand and slowly removes it from the cutlery. It stays perfectly still.
She smiles at Brad.
BRAD
Friday night?
BETHANY
Pick me up at 7.
INT. CHURCH – DAY
Bethany enters the church holding a white box.
Deacon Anders is at the altar talking to one of his parishioners who nods, shakes Deacon Anders hands and walks towards the church entrance, nodding a greeting to Bethany as he passes her.
Bethany practically dances down the aisle towards Deacon Anders.
BETHANY
I just picked up the copies of the church newsletter you ordered.
Bethany pulls off the top and holds the box out towards him.
BETHANY
See?
Deacon Anders takes the top newsletter.
DEACON ANDERS
You seem to be in a great mood.
BETHANY
I ran into Brad at the coffee shop randomly and we really hit it off.
Deacon Anders’ smile drops.
DEACON ANDERS
You did? Did anything happen?
BETHANY
I said yes to a date.
DEACON ANDERS
No, I mean did anything weird happen?
Bethanyâs face becomes a little bit guilty.
BETHANY
Like what?
DEACON ANDERS
(lowering his voice)
Like Demon 23 stuff.
BETHANY
No, nothing.
DEACON ANDERS
Nothing? Are you lying to me, Bethany?
BETHANY
No, it wasnât anything. It was so small. A knife barely levitated.
DEACON ANDERS
A knife levitated!
Bethany looks around self-consciously.
BETHANY
Keep your voice down.
DEACON ANDERS
And you have the audacity to say yes to a date? Was the knife anywhere near Brad?
BETHANY
Audacity?
DEACON ANDERS
Iâm surprised at you.
BETHANY
Nothing happened. I stopped it! What was I supposed to do?
DEACON ANDERS
I donât know, maybe stop and think for a second. Hmm, a knife is levitating towards his head, maybe I shouldn’t go on this date with him.
BETHANY
It didnât levitate towards his head, it didnât even leave the table.
DEACON ANDERS
Didnât even leave the table? Do you hear yourself? Quite selfish. Did you ever think that maybe you shouldn’t date at all?
BETHANY
Yes, every single time I talk to you. But I donât want to live like you. I donât want to sacrifice love and a relationship for an unsatisfactory career as a lowly clergyman.
DEACON ANDERS
The love of God fulfills me.
BETHANY
Oh yeah. If you’re so fulfilled, then why do you keep trying for a recommendation from the nuncio to be made a bishop. You invite that guy over all the time, but he just comes for the food.
DEACON ANDERS
Thatâs none of your business.
BETHANY
Maybe if you could perform an exorcism like Father Ptolemy, you would get noticed.
DEACON ANDERS
If I didnât know better, I would say you were in need of an exorcism right now.
BETHANY
No, Iâm not possessed, Deacon Anders. Iâm just fed up. And itâs just laughable that a priestâs first name is Deacon. And try as you might to get us to call you Father Anders, we all just call you Deacon Anders. How sad. Arenât you tired of having a name that reminds you of your failures?
DEACON ANDERS
Arenât you tired of having a past that reminds you of yours.
Bethany looks down to hide the sting of Deacon Anders words.
Bethany steels herself and looks up.
BETHANY
Yes. Thatâs why Iâm going on this date. Selfish or not.
Bethany turns and marches out of the church letting the doors slam behind her.
Turning Point:
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Bethany arrives at the restaurant and she looks great. Her hair and make-up is perfect. Her dress is sexy but tasteful. A waiter shows her to an intimate little table for two. She takes a seat and looks over the wine menu.
Brad arrives in sweatpants and a moth-eaten t-shirt with a faded vintage soda logo on it. Looking the worse for wear, he sits down opposite her.
Bethany is shocked to see him
BETHANY
Brad!
Bethany reaches for him. He jerks back. Very jumpy.
Bethany pulls back.
BETHANY
Is everything okay.?
BRAD
I canât have dinner with you.
BETHANY
You showed up to the restaurant to say you canât have dinner with me?
BRAD
Iâm sorry. I thought the least I could do was tell you in person.
BETHANY
But why?
BRAD
Something happened.
BETHANY
What?
BRAD
Something I canât explain. And then I was shown something. Oh God, Bethany! I had no idea.
BETHANY
What are you talking about Brad?
Bethany jumps up interrupting her own question.
A fork levitates and hovers right by Bradâs head. He doesnât see it.
It swings away from his head and then swings quickly towards his temple, but Bethany grabs it before it makes contact and pierces him.
Brad looks at her and then turns to look at her hand struggling to hold back a fork mere inches from his head.
BETHANY
Iâll be right back. Please, please donât leave. I can explain this!
Bethany heads towards the bathroom pulling the fork along with her.
INT. BATHROOM – DAY
Bethany marches into the bathroom and slams the fork down on the counter of the bathroom sink.
She grips the edge of the counter and shakes with anger.
BETHANY
A fork?
She snatches the fork from the counter.
BETHANY
A FORK!
She waves it around menacingly.
BETHANY
You better back off!
She looks around her.
BETHANY
I swear! If you donât leave us alone, Iâll get a Ouija board or something and chase your ass down! Iâll slap a paranormal restraining order on you so hard you wonât know whoâs the poltergeist!
An unseen force slams her against the bathroom wall and pins her. One cheek is squeezed against the wall as an invisible force presses her face hard against the wallâs surface.
She squirms and twists her face free.
BETHANY
So you are here. Our father who arts in Heaven–
Her face is slammed against the wall again.
She closes her eyes and repeats a barely audible phrase over and over again.
BETHANY
I am light. I am light. I am light.
Slowly she is released from the wall. She pulls her phone out and does a quick internet search as she backs away from the wall and towards the entrance of the bathroom.
She finds a prayer and starts to recite it.
BETHANY
[Insert New Age Prayer]
The unseen force tries to rip her phone from her hands but she holds onto it and continues to read the prayer from it.
She finishes the prayer and the unseen force releases her.
She looks around.
BETHANY
Are you still here?
All is quiet.
BETHANY
Are you?
Silence.
BETHANY
You better stay gone.
She leaves the bathroom.
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Bethany exits the bathroom and sees that Brad is still in his chair, his back to her. She walks stiffly towards him despite her best attempts to mask her pain and walk normally. Her left arm hangs at an abnormal angle.
She sits down in her chair and is surprised to see that it isnât Brad sitting across from her. Itâs the maitreâd.
Two men step to either side of her.
MAITREâD
Iâm sorry, but Iâm going to have to ask you to leave. If you go quietly, we wonât charge you for any damages done to the bathroom. But for the safety of our patrons and for their peace of mind these men will escort you out.
Bethany stands up.
BETHANY
Did the man who was sitting here say anything before he left?
MAITREâD
He asked me to tell you not to contact him again.
Bethany signs heavily.
BETHANY
This shit has got to end.
She turns around and walks out of the restaurant flanked on either side by the two men.
EXT. CHURCH – DAY
Bethany pulls up to the curb across the street from the church.
She watches Deacon Anders warmly greet two people on the front steps. He gestures for them to go inside and watches after them as they walk up the rest of the steps and disappear into the church.
Then he turns to face the street and looks directly at Bethany.
She stares at him blankly and then drives off.
-
Tashaâs Turning Point 1 Scenes
Doing this assignment, I learned the following: Make sure the first Turning Point locks the main character into the transformational journey.
1. Outline your Act 1 Turning Point.
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Beginning: Bethany arrives at the restaurant and is shown to a table.
Middle: Brad is waiting for her. He wants to tell her in person that he canât date her. She asks him why, but he seems jumpy.
End: A fork floats up to his head and Bethany grabs it. She excuses herself to the bathroom and asks him to stay so she can explain.
INT. BATHROOM – DAY
Beginning:Bethany tells whatever is trying to mess up her date to back off.
Middle:She says sheâs going to find a Ouija board and evoke whatever the equivalent is of a restraining order in the spiritual world.
End: She looks up a prayer to say but finds a more specific protection spell and says it. Seems to do the trick.
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Beginning: Bethany exits the bathroom physically tore up a bit.
Middle: She finds the table empty.
End: The MaitreâD tells her that he date left and says he doesnât want her to try and contact him again and to please leave bc she has disturbed the rest of the diners.
Bethany vows to herself that sheâs not going to let this shit happen again.
EXT. CHURCH – DAY
Beginning: Bethany pulls up to the curb across the street from the church.
Middle: She watches Deacon Anders greet two people on the steps of the church gestures that they go inside.
End: He looks up and sees Bethany in her car across the street. She stares at him blankly and then drives off.
2. Write your Act 1 Turning Point.
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Bethany arrives at the restaurant and she looks great. Her hair and make-up is perfect. Her dress is sexy but tasteful. A waiter shows her to an intimate little table for two. She takes a seat and looks over the wine menu.
Brad arrives in sweatpants and a moth-eaten t-shirt with a faded vintage soda logo on it. Looking the worse for wear, he sits down opposite her.
Bethany is shocked to see him
BETHANY
Brad!
Bethany reaches for him. He jerks back. Very jumpy.
Bethany pulls back.
BETHANY
Is everything okay.?
BRAD
I canât have dinner with you.
BETHANY
You showed up to the restaurant to say you canât have dinner with me?
BRAD
Iâm sorry. I thought the least I could do was tell you in person.
BETHANY
But why?
BRAD
Something happened.
BETHANY
What?
BRAD
Something I canât explain. And then I was shown something. Oh God, Bethany! I had no idea.
BETHANY
What are you talking about Brad?
Bethany jumps up interrupting her own question.
A fork levitates and hovers right by Brads head. He doesnât see it.
It swings away from him head and then swings quickly towards his temple, but Bethany jumps up to her feet and grabs it before it pierces him.
Brad looks at her and then turn to look at her hand struggling to hold back a fork mere inches from his head.
BETHANY
Iâll be right back. Please donât leave.
Bethany heads for the bathroom pulling the fork along with her.
INT. BATHROOM – DAY
Bethany marches into the bathroom and slams the fork down on the counter of the bathroom sink.
She grips the edge of the counter and shakes with anger.
BETHANY
A fork?
She snatches the fork from the counter.
BETHANY
A FORK!
She waves it around menacingly.
BETHANY
You better back off!
She looks around her.
BETHANY
I swear! If you donât leave us alone, Iâll get a Ouija board or something and chase your ass down! Iâll slap a paranormal restraining order on you so hard you wonât know whoâs the poltergeist!
An unseen force slams her against the bathroom wall and pins her. One cheek is squeezed against the wall as an invisible force presses her face hard against the wallâs surface.
She squirms and twists her face free.
BETHANY
Our father who arts in Heaven–
Her face is slammed against the wall again.
She closes her eyes and repeats a barely audible phrase over and over again.
BETHANY
I am light. I am light. I am light.
Slowly she is released from the wall. She pulls her phone out and does a quick internet search as she backs away from the wall and towards the entrance of the bathroom.
She finds a prayer and starts to recite.
BETHANY
[Insert New Age Prayer]
The unseen force tries to rip her phone from her hands but she holds onto it and continues to read the prayer off it.
She finishes the prayer and the unseen force releases her.
She looks around.
BETHANY
Are you here?
All is quiet.
BETHANY
Are you here?
Silence.
BETHANY
You better stay gone.
She leaves the bathroom.
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Bethany exits the bathroom and sees that Brad is still in his chair, his back to her. She walks stiffly towards him despite her best attempts to mask her pain and walk normally. Her left arm hangs at an abnormal angle.
She sits down in her chair and is surprised to see that it isnât Brad sitting across from her. Itâs the maitreâd.
Two men step to either side of her.
MAITREâD
Iâm sorry, but Iâm going to have to ask you to leave. If you go quietly, we wonât charge you for any damages done to the bathroom. But for the safety of our patrons and for their peace of mind these men will escort you out.
Bethany stands up.
BETHANY
Did the man who was sitting say anything before he left?
MAITREâD
He asked me to tell you not to contact him again.
Bethany signs heavily.
BETHANY
This shit has got to end.
She turns around and walks out of the restaurant flanked on either side by the two men.
EXT. CHURCH – DAY
Bethany pulls up to the curb across the street from the church.
She watches Deacon Anders warmly greet two people on the front steps. He gestures for them to go inside and watches after them as they walk up the rest of the steps and disappear into the church.
Then he turns to face the street and looks directly at Bethany.
She stares at him blankly and then drives off.
-
Tashaâs Inciting Incident (place in first line)
Doing this assignment, I learned the following: You can actually write a scene in 15 minutes if you let yourself be creative and sloppy in this draft.
1. Outline Key Scenes 2 & 3 for Act 1.
Inciting Incident Outline
INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY
Beginning: Brad shows up and asks her if he can buy Bethany a coffee.
Middle: They catch up and a romantic connection is sparked. He asks her out.
End: Bethany sees various cutlery start to tremble until a spoon is able to levitate. She catches it before it hits Brad (unbeknownst to him) and excuses herself to the bathroom.
Reaction 1 Outline
INT. BATHROOM – DAY
Beginning: Bethany tells whatever is trying to mess up her date to back off.
Middle:She says sheâs going to find a Ouija board and evoke whatever the equivalent is of a restraining order in the spiritual world.
End: She looks up a prayer to say but finds a more specific protection spell and says it. Seems to do the trick.
Reaction 2 Outline
INT. CHURCH – DAY
Beginning: She tells Deacon Anders that she ran into Brad at the coffee shop and they hit it off.
Middle: She tells him that she said yes to his date. They fight. Deacon Anders asks if anything more has happened re Demon 23. She says no, but he realizes sheâs lying.
End: They get into a heated argument. Deacon Anders says that sheâs being selfish every time she goes on a date because sheâs putting people at risk. She asks what her alternative, a loveless career with the clergy. She says maybe if he could perform a proper exorcism maybe she wouldnât be in this position and maybe he would finally be bishop like heâs always hoped for and not some stupid priest whose name reminds him of his failure.
2. Write your Inciting Incident scene and the scene for Reaction 1 to the Inciting Incident.
Scene 2 (Inciting Incident)
INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY
Bethany stares up at the menu while she waits in line to order coffee. There are a few people behind her including BRAD, 28 y.o., blonde, athletic, cute. Sparkly blue eyes. A Ken doll to Bethanyâs blonde Barbie.
Brad leans out of line and watches Bethany as she bops along head along to whatever her oversized white headphones are playing into her ears.
Brad smiles.
Bethany walks up to the barista. She pulls down her headphones and is shocked to hear Brad give his order. Her headphones stopped her from noticing he had slipped right next to her.
BRAD
One mocha please and whatever the lady is having.
He removes a 20 from his pocket.
AMY, the barista, purple hair, plump, nose ring and a perfect dose of attitude, scoffs.
AMY
Well, thatâs a new way to hop the line. So, you letting him buy you a drink or what?
Bethany, still a little stunned, manages to stammer out her order.
BETHANY
A latte. And a cookie. And a croissant. And a bagel sandwich.
Amy rings up the order and Brad pays, forking over another $20.
He follows Bethany to a table where they sit down.
BRAD
Next time Iâll be sure to specify the lady can have one thing.
Bethany pulls out a $20 and gives it to him.
Brad waves her off.
BRAD
I was only kidding.
Bethany smiles patiently.
BRAD
So?
BETHANY
So, I should be pretty freaked out right now, but you look too much like your profile picture. And you havenât changed in 14 years.
BRAD
Surely I filled out a bit. And I have way less acne.
BETHANY
I always thought the acne was kind of cute.
BRAD
I always thought you were kind of cute.
BETHANY
Wow, we veered quickly into flirtatious territory, didnât we. I thought you just wanted to catch up.
BRAD
Well, you started it. Nobody could resist a compliment about their acne. I thought you were the one who didnât want to catch up.
BETHANY
No, I did, I do.
BRAD
Thatâs what I thought. Thatâs why I showed up here, I was hoping to bump into you.
BETHANY
How did you know I would be here?
BRAD
Itâs like in the background of almost every picture you have on your dating profile. I recognized the place. Are you disappointed?
BETHANY
No, not at all. Iâm actually flattered.
BRAD
Good. Flattery looks good on you. So how have you been since the 8th grade? You donât have much of a social presence. Otherwise I wouldnât have bothered with a face-to-face. I would have just stalked you online like a normal person. So imagine when I saw Bethany Sawyer was on my dating app. I had to say hi.
BETHANY
Thereâs really not too much to tell. I went to college. Became a graphic designer. I live alone. I have a few hobbies.
BRAD
Dating seems to be one.
BETHANY
I guess it is, but it never pans out.
BRAD
I was just about to ask how youâre single.
BETHANY
Boring. Iâm pretty boring.
BRAD
You donât seem boring to me.
BETHANY
Well, I do volunteer work with a bunch of foster kids, and they tell me Iâm boring. Like all the time. They just keep doing it. Unsolicited.
BRAD
Oh no, youâre boring and a do-gooder.
BETHANY
Iâm afraid I am. So Iâll understand if you actually want my $20.
Brad laughs.
BRAD
Well, actually no. Quite the opposite in fact. I want to spend more than $20 on you. And I want you to wear something nice when I do it, and I want us to be sitting at a table with a tablecloth on it and shiny cutlery and one of those little battery operated candle. I want to be able to embarrass you with stories from our past, especially the one about how you were the first girl I ever kissed and how I think it ruined me for other kisses.
BETHANY
Are you asking me out?
BRAD
Iâve been wanting to ask you out for about 14 years.
Bethany smiles. Then a fork levitates up to the side of Bradâs head.
Bethany jumps out of her seat and grabs the fork without Brad noticing. She makes a beeline for the ladyâs bathroom.
BETHANY
Iâll be right back.
Scene 3 (Reaction 1 to the Inciting Incident)
INT. BATHROOM – DAY
Bethany marches into the bathroom and slams the fork down on the counter of the bathroom sink.
She grips the edge of the counter and shakes with anger.
BETHANY
A fork?
She snatches the fork from the counter.
BETHANY
A FORK!
She waves it around menacingly.
BETHANY
You better back off!
She looks around her.
BETHANY
I swear! If you donât leave us alone, Iâll get a Ouija board or something and chase your ass down! Iâll slap a paranormal restraining order on you so hard you wonât know whoâs the poltergeist!
An unseen force slams her against the bathroom wall and pins her. One cheek is squeezed against the wall as an invisible force presses her face hard against the wallâs surface.
She squirms and twists her face free.
BETHANY
Our father who arts in Heaven–
Her face is slammed against the wall again.
She closes her eyes and repeats a barely audible phrase over and over again.
BETHANY
I am light. I am light. I am light.
Slowly she is released from the wall. She pulls her phone out and does a quick internet search as she backs away from the wall and towards the entrance of the bathroom.
She finds a prayer and starts to recite.
BETHANY
[Insert New Age Prayer]
The unseen force tries to rip her phone from her hands but she holds onto it and continues to read the prayer off it.
She finishes the prayer and the unseen force releases her.
She looks around.
BETHANY
Are you here?
All is quiet.
BETHANY
Are you here?
Silence.
BETHANY
You better stay gone.
She leaves the bathroom.
INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY
Bethany marches up to Brad who scoots his chair back from the table.
Before he can stand up, she bends down and plants a big kiss on him.
She pulls away.
He looks up at her surprise.
BETHANY
Friday night. Pick me up at 7.
Bradâs speechless.
Bethany stares into his eyes.
He nods enthusiastically.
BETHANY
Iâll send you my address through the app.
She walks over to her purse and throws the strap over her left shoulder.
BETHANY
But right now I have to tend to a dislocated shoulder.
Brad tries to get up.
BETHANY
Donât worry. Stay here. Eat your dinner.
BRAD
But Bethany.
BETHANY
If you go with me, youâll just have questions. Iâll see you on Friday at 7 and weâll talk then.
Bethany smiles and walks stiffly towards the entrance despite her best attempts to mask her pain. Her left arm hangs at an abnormal angle.
3. Write the scene for Reaction 2 to the Inciting Incident.
Scene 4 (Reaction 2 to the Inciting Incident)
INT. CHURCH – DAY
Bethany enters the church with one arm in a sling and the other arm holding a box.
Deacon Anders is at the altar talking to one of the church office managers and he looks up at Bethany.
DEACON ANDERS
Oh my gosh!
He rushes down the aisle to Bethany.
Bethany holds out the box.
BETHANY
I have the copies of the church newsletter you ordered.
Deacon Anders catches up to her and takes the box.
DEACON ANDERS
Who cares about the newsletter? What happened to you?
BETHANY
Nothing. I ran into Brad at the coffee shop randomly and we really hit it off.
Deacon Anders grimaces.
DEACON ANDERS
What kind of stuff is he into.
BETHANY
Nothing like that you sicko. Heâs a perfect gentleman. So perfect in fact, that I said yes to his date.
DEACON ANDERS
You said yes. And then what?
He gestures at her shoulder.
DEACON ANDERS (conât)
Did you get mugged?
BETHANY
No, it was nothing.
DEACON ANDERS
(lowering his voice)
It wasnât Demon 23 was it?
BETHANY
No! Just a little accident. I fell, thatâs all.
DEACON ANDERS
Youâre lying to me Bethany. It was Demon 23!
BETHANY
Okay, it was.
DEACON ANDERS
And you have the audacity to go on date with Brad while Demon 23 has figure out how to turn you into his punching bag.
BETHANY
Audacity?
DEACON ANDERS
Iâm surprised you could be so selfish.
BETHANY
I took care of it. I said like a prayer and he stopped bothering me.
DEACON ANDERS
Like a prayer? What are you talking about.
BETHANY
I read this evocation about the light and the cosmic energy and I recited it at him.
DEACON ANDERS
You used a pagan recitation? Not even a Catholic Prayer. Who are you?
BETHANY
What was I supposed to do? It worked anyway. Nothing you ever did has helped me. All you do is remind me of all my bad dates and suggest that I stop dating.
DEACON ANDERS
You should stop dating. Did you ever think that maybe you werenât meant to date?
BETHANY
Yes, every single time I talk to you. But I donât want to live like you. I donât want to sacrifice love and a relationship for an unsatisfactory career as a lowly clergyman.
DEACON ANDERS
The love of God fulfills me.
BETHANY
Oh yeah. If your so fulfilled, then why do you keep trying for a recommendation from the nuncio to be made a bishop. You invite that guy over all the time, but he just comes for the food.
DEACON ANDERS
Thatâs none of your business.
BETHANY
Maybe if you could perform an exorcism like Father Ptolemy, you would get noticed.
DEACON ANDERS
If I didnât know better, I would say you were in need of an exorcism right now.
BETHANY
No, Iâm not possessed Deacon Anders. Iâm just fed up. And itâs just laughable that a priestâs first name is Deacon. And try as you might to get us to call you Father Anders, We all just call you Deacon Anders. How sad. Arenât you tired of having a name that reminds you of your failures?
DEACON ANDERS
Arenât you tired of having a past that reminds you of yours.
Bethany looks down to hide the sting of Deacon Anders words.
Bethany steels herself and looks up.
BETHANY
Yes. Thatâs why Iâm going on the date. Selfish or not.
Bethany turns and marches out of the church letting the doors slam behind her.
-
Tashaâs Act 1: Opening Scenes
Doing this assignment, I learned the following: Dividing the outline of a scene into beginning, middle, and end really makes it easy to determine what happens in the scene. It practically writes itself.
1. Go to your Beat Sheet and find the opening scene and a second lead character introduction.
Create a simple outline for those two scenes.
First Scene (Protagonist and Antagonist(s)) – Opening:
INT. BETHANYâS CHILDHOOD BEDROOM – DAY
Bethany undergoes a gnarly exorcism performed by Father Ptolemy while his assistant, Deacon Anders, can only watch petrified. Father Ptolemy successfully rids her of Demon 23âs oppression.
Beginning: Bethany is in the throws of possession by Demon 23. Deacon Anders is so scared by his first exposure to actual demonic activity, he is useless assisting Father Ptolemy.
Middle: Deacon Anders fears Bethany is a lost cause and tries to end her life. Father Ptolemy fights to stop them and during the scuffle, Bethany begins to free herself from Demon 23. That combined with Father Ptolemyâs efforts, Bethany is exorcised. Roses start to bloom all around her.
End: Bethanyâs dad says that will probably be the only time Bethany will get flowers because no boy in their right mind would want to be around her long enough to give her any. He and his wife choose to give up Bethany bc they canât risk their children.
Deacon Anders swears he will keep a watchful eye on her.
Second Scene (Antagonist Demon 23)
INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT
Bethany has a supernatural encounter at her home. She asks if itâs Demon 23 and a weird thing happens that mess with her mind.
Scene Outline
Beginning: Bethany enters her apartment. Itâs empty but she looks around like she doesnât think sheâs alone. She touches her neck and asks if anyone is there,
Middle: The curtains hanging in front of her windows and sliding glass door ripple in one continuous wave. She checks and sees that one window is open but the night air is stagnant. Something drops in the darkness of her kitchen, but she canât make out what is it because the darkest shadow sheâs ever scene obscures any detail in the center of the kitchen. She tries to step to the side of it and it moves. She pulls back and suddenly a kitchen shelf crashes to the floor sending more objects bouncing out of the shadows. The last object falls still and the shadow goes away.
End: She asks if Demon 23 is there. No response. She turns on the light and starts cleaning up the mess.
(Third Scene (Antagonist Deacon Anders)
INT. COFFEE SHOP DAY
Bethany discusses her love life over coffee and tea with Deacon Anders.
Scene Outline
Beginning: Deacon Anders sits down with his tea and asks Bethany how the date went. Bethany asks why he doesnât have coffee and he says he gave up caffeine for Lent, so just herbal tea for him. He asks to see the design of the church newsletter that Bethany is working on and she shows him her computer.
Middle: Bethany tells Deacon Anders about her date and he says it reminds him of other dates she went on and describes them to her to jog her memory. He asks if she told the guy about her past and she says no. Then she says she thinks Demon 23 is back. Deacon Anders asks her what sheâs drinking and she says double espresso. He grabs it and nervously drinks it down.
End: Then Deacon Anders sees a notification from her dating app. Itâs Brad, an old friend from elementary school, requesting to connect with Bethany. He warns her not to respond. She says he probably just wants to catch up, nothing romantic. Demon 23 tosses the laptop off the table. Deacon Anders says she really shouldnât contact Brad.
2. Write your Opening scene that introduces a lead character; either your Protagonist or Antagonist.
INT. BETHANYâS CHILDHOOD BEDROOM – DAY
A modest girlâs room, wallpapered with a design of petite autumn flowers. Brown gingham curtains. A plain white quilt with brown trim over a mattress on a rod iron bedframe. Bouquets of dead roses are everywhere with tags that say Get Well Soon, Hope you Feel Better, We Miss You at School.
And Bethany. 14 years old. A blond, schoolgirl. Innocent and kind. She writhes on her bed, body contorting in tortured shapes and her tongue wags uncontrollably from her mouth and the sound of a thousand sinister voices groan in her throat like an animalâs guttural, warning growl. Her face haggard, dark and ghastly.
DEMON 23
(talking through Bethany)
I will rip her from head to sternum before I every give her up.
Rip marks forms all over her skin.
FRANK, Bethanyâs father, 35 y.o. Grizzled and burly recoils from his daughter and eyes the door.
FATHER PTOLEMY, 72, y.o. Wizen and gray from his years as a priest surges forward and douses Bethany with holy water. She jerks and screams in pain.
FATHER PTOLEMY
(to Frank)
Hold you daughter down!
(to Deacon Anders)
Read [Insert Bible verse]!
DEACON ANDERS, 25, a priest in training. Eyes wide in horror, his slight frame quivering. He just watches paralyzed.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Damn it Deacon! Read it!
Bethanyâs body rises up, breaking free Father Ptolemy and Frankâs hold. She rolls forward to the bed but remains unnaturally up right as if being propped up by and unseen force.
She looks straight into Deacon Anders eyes smiling an unnatural menacing smile.
DEMON 23
(talking through Bethany)
Damn it Deacon Anders. If you want, Iâll damn you too.
Deacon Anders drops the Bible and backs aways until her pressed against the wall.
Bethany raises her hand. Deacon Anders is pulled across the room, feet gliding across the room on there tips. His neck comes to rest in Bethanyâs death grip.
DEMON 23
(talking through Bethany)
I snap your neck. I add you to my collection.
Deacon Anders struggles to breath.
Father Ptolemy pries Bethanyâs grip off of Deacon Anders. He falls to the ground.
Father Ptolemy struggles to restrain Bethany.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Frank!
Frank aids Father Ptolemy and Bethany in restraining.
Once returned to a lying position, she falls limp, head lulling to one side. Eyes unfocused and distant.
Deacon Anders, cringing on the floor, removes his pocket knife from his robes without taking his eyes of Bethanyâs limp form.
Bethanyâs eyes dart at his and she flicks a snake-like tongue at him.
Deacon Anders jumps to his feet and rushes towards Bethany.
DEACON ANDERS
Die!
He raises the blade intent on sending down a fatal strike.
FATHER PTOLEMY
No!
Father Ptolemy turns and blocks Deacon Anders blow. They struggle. Bethanyâs body starts to jerk and undulate.
Frank jumps away and Bethany laughs wildly.
He shakes his head and runs out of the room.
Deacon Anders and Father Ptolemy crash against a wall, locked in physical battle.
Bethany stops laughing and flopping about on the bed.
Her eyes close. Her body stays still and straight.
Very slowly her lips begin to move. Very quietly she mumbles something.
Her voice starts to grow in sound as she continues to mumble.
BETHANY
(faint)
I am light…I am light…I am light…
Unnoticed by Father Ptolemy and Deacon Anders, Bethany struggles to a sitting position. Then with great effort, she crawls across the bed. At the foot of her bed she leans down and scoops up the Bible.
BETHANY
I am light. I am light. I am light.
She flips the book open to the verse Father Ptolemy asked for and she starts to read it.
Father Ptolemy and Deacon Anders stop fighting and look over.
DEMON 23
(speaking through Bethany)
This cannot save you.
Bethany rises up and her body is hurled at the headboard of her bed. She crashes into and flops to the mattress, but she still holds onto the Bible.
Father Ptolemy rushes to her and cradles her in his arms. He helps her hold the Bible and up and finds that her finger, broken and bruised, is inserted between the pages of the bible. He opens it up the [Insert Bible Verse here] and begins to read it.
Soon, Bethany joins him.
Together, there voices grow stronger as Bethany undulates between her voice and the voice of Demon 23.
Bethany starts to levitate and is pulled out of Father Ptolemyâs arms. He falters.
BETHANY
Keep reading!
Ptolemy continues to read the verse and recite prayers.
Bethany begins to recite the Lordâs Prayer.
Deacon Anders watches as Bethany throws back her head and lets out one long, loud, painful scream and expels shadowy essences from her. She falls back on the bed.
Beautiful vibrant roses bloom on all the bouquets and on the bush outside her window. Bethany slumbers. A peaceful glow on her.
Franck enters the room.
FRANK
Is it over?
Father Ptolemy gives him a tired nod.
FRANK
(Looking at all the rose)
This will probably be the last time she gets any flowers. What boy would want her after this?
Father Ptolemy collects his hat. Deacon Anders scrambles over to Father Ptolemy and hands him his coat.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Now youâre helpful.
DEACON ANDERS
I deeply apologize. I will never fail you again.
Father Ptolemy raise a dubious eyebrow and Deacon Anders looks away.
FRANK
Where are you going?
FATHER PTOLEMY
Home.
FRANK
You canât just leave her.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Donât worry, I will be back to check on her.
FRANK
No, I mean you canât just leave her here.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Pardon?
FRANK
She canât stay here. We have children.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Sheâs your daughter.
FRANK
No sir, not after what I saw. I donât know what she is.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Sheâs an innocent girl whoâs just been through a horrible event and she needs you to heal.
FRANK
If you donât take her here and now Father, Iâm going to kill her. I donât care if I go to jail.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Or if you damn your soul?
FRANK
Killing that thing would be Godâs work.
Father Ptolemy stares into Franks eyes and sees no love for Bethany there.
FATHER PTOLEMY
(to Deacon Anders)
Collect the girl.
DEACON ANDERS
Father?
FATHER PTOLEMY
She needs our protection.
Deacon Anders hesitates to touch Bethany.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Hurry up!
Deacon Anders rouses Bethany who wakes up but is still quite groggy. He gets her to her feet and with her arm slung around his shoulders, walks her to the door.
FATHER PTOLEMY
Weâll be back for her things.
Father Ptolemy shakes his head and exits the room.
Helping Bethany walk, Deacon Anders stops short of exiting the room to address Frank.
DEACON ANDERS
I will keep close watch. You have my word.
Bethany looks up.
BETHANY
Papa?
Frank steals his face and turns his back on her.
Bethany drops her head, weighed down by fatigue and sadness. Deacon Anders wearily guides her through the door.
3. Write the scene that introduces the other lead character.
(Demon 23 – Antagonist 2)
INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT
Bethany enters her apartment.
She drops her bag on the floor and tosses her keys on the entryway table.
She shifts through her mail as she absentmindedly closes and locks her door.
She tosses the mail on the entryway table next to the keys but retains one envelope. She starts to open it as she walks across the living room to her kitchen. Her apartment is open concept.
She stops midway across the floor and slowly looks up from her mail.
She surveys the empty apartment and her eyes land on a corner of the kitchen which is obscured by an unnaturally dark and opaque shadow. She canât see anything through it.
She touches her left shoulder with her right and winces.
She begins to rub it, but stops.
BETHANY
Is someone there?
The curtains hanging in front of her windows and sliding glass door ripple in one continuous wave ending at a window near the kitchen. She checks and sees that the window is open but the night air is stagnant. She closes it.
Something in the darkened corner of the kitchen drops causing her to startle. She looks over but canât see what it is because the shadow is just so thick.
She tries to step to the side of the shadow for another perspective, but it moves. She pulls back and her breath catches in her throat.
CRASH! A kitchen shelf falls. Bethany jumps as objects bounce out of the shadows.
The last objects roll to a stop and the shadow goes away.
Bethany breathes rapidly and stares into her kitchen.
BETHANY
Demon 23?
She waits.
No response.
She clicks the kitchen light on and cleans up the mess.
(Deacon Anders – Antagonist 1)
INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY
Bethany sits at a two person table designs a church newsletter on her laptop.
Deacon Anders takes the seat opposite her and put his mug of tea and plate topped with a cookie down on the table.
Bethany looks up and notices his mug of tea.
BETHANY
No coffee today?
DEACON ANDERS
Giving it up for Lent. So I got my herbal tea here. As long as I still get to eat my cookie Iâm all good. Can I see what you got so far?
Bethany rotates the laptop and pushes it towards him. Deacon Anders lifts the glasses he wears on a chain around his neck and examines it.
DEACON ANDERS
Looks pretty good. Oh, I like what you did with the heading.
He looks up at Bethany. She wistfully staring at a couple being lovey dovey a couple of tables over.
DEACON ANDERS
How did last night go?
Bethany looks back at him. She shakes her head discouragingly.
BETHANY
Another stellar date.
DEACON ANDERS
It couldnât of been that bad. They canât all be bad.
BETHANY
I wish.
DEACON ANDERS
Well what happened?
[INSERT SCENE OF HORRIBLE AWKWARD DATE]
Deacon Anders mouth is a little bit agape.
Bethany shrugs and looks like sheâs on the verge of tears.
He closes his mouth and clears his throat to quickly gather his thoughts.
DEACON ANDERS
You know, Bethany. Itâs not a big deal if you date. I donât date.
BETHANY
Are you saying I should become a nun?
DEACON ANDERS
Well, there are worse ideas. Going into the church worked for me.
Bethany smiles.
BETHANY
If only I didnât want that pesky thing called love.
DEACON ANDERS
Hey, Godâs love is no joke. Not to mention he always has your back. And so do his followers.
BETHANY
Thanks.
DEACON ANDERS
Youâre welcome. But really Bethany, thereâs just been so many bad dates–remember the time [Insert anecdote of terrible date here]. Oh gosh, and then there was the one where [Insert anecdote of another terrible date here].
BETHANY
Thanks for the reminders.
DEACON ANDERS
Iâm just saying, how much can a person take? I worry. With this last date, did you mention, you know, youâre past.
BETHANY
Why would I do that? I want a chance, remember?
DEACON ANDERS
I didnât know if your policy had changed or not.
BETHANY
It never changes.
She puts her head down.
DEACON ANDERS
Did you just stifle a âbutâ or like a segue or something. I feel like there was more to that statement.
BETHANY
I think Demon 23 was in my apartment last night.
DEACON ANDERS
What?
BETHANY
Yeah. I think so.
Deacon Anders points to her cup.
DEACON ANDERS
What is that?
BETHANY
Double espresso.
Deacon Anders grabs it and downs it in one gulp.
DEACON ANDERS
Proceed.
BETHANY
I think I felt him. Or maybe not.
DEACON ANDERS
What happened?
BETHANY
A shelf fell in my kitchen.
DEACON ANDERS
And?
BETHANY
Thatâs it.
DEACON ANDERS
And you automatically think Demon, not shoddy workmanship?
BETHANY
I know, but-
DEACON ANDERS
How many times have you thought this only for it to turn out to be nothing?
BETHANY
A lot.
DEACON ANDERS
A lot. So, shoddy work?
BETHANY
Maybe. Probably. Oh no, it was shoddy work, wasnât it.
The PING of a notification on Bethanyâs laptop catches Deacon Andersâs attention.
DEACON ANDERS
Looks like you got something from [Insert Title of a Dating App here].
He rotates the laptop and pushes it towards her.
Bethany clicks on the app and sees she has a message.
BETHANY
Brad Finely? I used to go to school with him. He transferred out of our district before high school, but I knew him all throughout Elementary School and junior high.
DEACON ANDERS
Thatâs nice. Is he trying to make a love connection?
BETHANY
No. He just wants to catch up over coffee.
Bethany looks up. She smiles, a bit giddy.
DEACON ANDERS
Youâre not thinking of responding, are you?
Bethanyâs smile falters.
BETHANY
I was.
DEACON ANDERS
Bethany, need I remind you that you just told me you thought Demon 23 was in your apartment last night.
BETHANY
Yeah, but you said it was shoddy workmanship.
DEACON ANDERS
I know I said that and I meant it, but, and I donât mean to be indelicate here, but, with your past, maybe we should take it a bit more seriously.
BETHANY
But itâs just a catch up. Nothing romantic. Whatâs the harm?
DEACON ANDERS
I donât know.
Bethany looks at him pleadingly.
BETHANY
You know I hate it when I donât have your approval.
She gives him puppy dog eyes and sticks her bottom lip out. Deacon Anders smiles.
DEACON ANDERS
You poor miserable thing. Fine.
Bethany cheers and jumps out of her seat, rounds the table and gives him a hug.
BETHANY
Thank you.
Suddenly, her laptop flips off the table and lands on the ground.
Bethany and Deacon Anders look at it accusingly.
DEACON ANDERS
I donât think you should contact him.
-
Tashaâs Beat Sheet Draft 2
Doing this assignment, I learned the following: doing both the thematic passes and the antagonist storyline pass really fleshed out the rest of the outline and helped to create connections between the characters. Such a valuable technique!
1. I confirm I listened to the Empowerment Audio.
2. I confirm I used the High Speed Writing Rules as you do todayâs assignment.
3. Do Pass 1: Interweave theme throughout the beat sheet.
Theme: Hiding who you are because you donât think anyone could ever love the scary/ugly side of you.
How each character has experience with the theme:
Bethany hides who she is because she wants love and the only way she thinks she can get it is by not revealing her past
Deacon Anders exposes who Bethany is because he doesnât want her to find love and he believes her past will deter anyone
Demon 23 is the epitome of a personâs most scary side hiding in plain sight because he wants Bethany to himself and he knows he can scare her suitors away
Brad is exposed to Bethanyâs scary side and isnât given a chance to get to know Bethany and decide for himself if her scary side is enough to deter him (represents all the suitors before him)
4. Do Pass 2 : Build in the Antagonist Journey
Deacon Andersâs storyline
Deacon Anders watches Bethanyâs exorcism without being able to help Priest Ptolemy. He starts off powerless and scared out of his mind because now he sees that demons are real and they are evil.
Constantly reinforces that Bethanyâs dating is a disaster and strongly urges her to give up. When he canât get her to give up, he sends tapes of her exorcisms to her suitors to scare them into ghosting her.
He uses black magic to conjure Demon 23 and create an attachment to Bethany to keep her from dating and for his own promotion.
He kidnaps Bethany and ties her to an altar to exorcise her in front of the Bishop and Cardinal along with others, only he has plans to kill her and blame the violence of her particular demon and exorcism.
When Bethany and Demon 23 expose Deacon Anders to the Bishop he tries to kill Bethany, who he thinks is truly evil, but Demon 23 possesses him and almost kills him. Bethany intervenes and exorcises Demon 23 from Deacon Anders.
Deacon Anders is stripped by the Pope of his status and kicked out of the church for being a heretic.
Demon 23âs storyline
Demon 23 flexes hard and almost gets full possession of Bethanyâs soul, but Bethanyâs light is too strong and it helps Priest Ptolemy sever his hold on Bethany, but he isnât banished. Shows how dangerous Demon 23 can be.
When heâs conjured by Deacon Anders, he can only be attached to Bethany, which allows him to interact with her in a weakened state. As a result, he can only sabotage her dates in a bid for possession.
Deacon Anders uses the attachment to Bethany to keep him trapped, so that he stops Bethany from dating while Deacon Anders tries to exact his plans for further his career.
Being trapped in Bethanyâs dimension has been torture. His attachment has taught him to see things from Bethanyâs POV and he doesnât want to possess her anymore. Heâs ready to go home and he sees that Bethany is powerful enough to do it, but he asks her to hold off so he can finish his business with Deacon Anders.
After Demon 23 exposes Deacon Anders, he recklessly possesses Deacon Anders (intent on destroying the both of them) until Bethany steps in.
Demon 23 tells Bethany that he thinks he loves her before asking her to say his name and send him back to his home.
Act 1:
Opening:
INT. BETHANYâS CHILDHOOD BEDROOM – DAY
TE 1 – Deacon Anders barely can assist Father Ptolemy during a gnarly exorcism of Bethany. Scared of his wits, the confirmation that Demons are real shakes him to his core. Despite the great power of the entity which manipulates objects and causes physical harm to all involved, he canât bring himself to help Father Ptolemy. Luckily, the Demon underestimated Bethanyâs natural light and power. That combined with Father Ptolemyâs efforts, Bethany is exorcised. Roses start to bloom all around her. After the roses bloom Bethanyâs dad says that will probably be the only time Bethany will get flowers because no boy in their right mind would want to be around her long enough to give them to her. He says that he and his wife discussed it and they canât be around her either and risk the other children. [PLACEHOLDER for adding thematic element – Priest Ptolemy dismisses them and leaves. Deacon Anders says something here about doing what he can to keep people safe from Bethany but it should seem obvious heâs talking about thwarting her chance at love until after youâve gone through the story and look back at this moment.]
Demon 23 ends up encased in the concrete prison that is the fabric of this reality, trapped but conscious in a dormant stasis.
EXT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Bethany goes on a terrible date that has some strange but subtle (deniable) supernatural elements to it. Bethany makes up a bunch of different stuff and the guy asks her if sheâs possessed and she says no but then Demon 23 does something undeniably supernatural and. The guy leaves the date while Bethany is mid-sentence.
Inciting Incident:
INT. APARTMENT – DAY
Bethany has a supernatural encounter in her home. She asks if itâs Demon 23 and a weird thing happens that messes with her mind because she doesnât know if itâs a confirmation or a coincidence. She tries asking again, but gets no response.
INT. COFFEE SHOP DAY
Deacon Anders sits down with his tea and asks Bethany how the date went. Bethany asks why he doesnât have coffee and he says he gave up caffeine for Lent, so just herbal tea for him. He asks to see the design of the church newsletter that Bethany is working on and she shows him her computer. Bethany tells Deacon Anders about her date and he says it reminds him of other dates she went on and describes them to her to jog her memory. He asks if she told the guy about her past and she says no. Then she says she thinks Demon 23 is back. Deacon Anders asks her what sheâs drinking and she says double espresso. He grabs it and nervously drinks it down. Then Deacon Anders sees a notification from her dating app.
TE 2 – Itâs Brad, an old friend from elementary school, requesting to connect with Bethany. He warns her not to respond. She says he probably just wants to catch up, nothing romantic. Demon 23 tosses the laptop off the table. Deacon Anders says she really shouldnât contact Brad.
[Placeholder] Bethany goes on another disastrous date. She checks her dating app and sees that the guy left a bad review. As she reads it, she sees a message pop up from Brad asking her to coffee. She tells him she doesnât think it would be a good idea. He says he understands and asks if she can recommend a spot.
INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY
Brad shows up and asks her if he can buy Bethany a coffee. They catch up and a romantic connection is sparked. He asks her out. Bethany sees various cutlery start to tremble until a spoon is able to levitate. She catches it before it hits Brad (unbeknownst to him) and excuses herself to the bathroom.
INT. BATHROOM – DAY
Bethany tells whatever is trying to mess up her date to back off. She says sheâs going to find a Ouija board and evoke whatever the equivalent is of a restraining order in the spiritual world. She looks up a prayer to say but finds a more specific protection spell and says it. Seems to do the trick.
INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY
She says yes to Bradâs date.
INT. CHURCH – DAY
TE 3 – She gets into her first fight ever with Deacon Anders over not going on the date with Brad even though they sparked a romantic connection during their coffee catch-up. Bethany says he doesnât know what heâs talking about and all the prayers heâs used on her havenât stopped the one thing they were worried about. She criticizes him for being passed up for bishop even though thatâs all he wants. Maybe if he was actually capable or performing an exorcism like his predecessor, he could get on the Popeâs/Vaticanâs radar.
INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT
Should be a scene where Bethany has to deal with Demon 23 again and she uses the protection spell.
Turning Point:
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
TE 4 – Bethany is stood up by Brad who leaves a cryptic message with the restaurant hostess.
Act 2:
INT. CHURCH – DAY
Bethany apologizes to Deacon Anders for what she said about him not being a bishop and tells him he was right about Brad. He tells her that itâs ok if she is not cut out for dating and urges her to stop dating or at least give it a long rest. She deletes the protection prayer from her phone and asks him to perform his prayer ritual over her again. He says heâs reading an interesting book that will show him new ways to treat her situation.
[Placeholder] Something has to happen that makes her want to break her old pattern of forgetting and moving on. Maybe she sees a post about a former classmateâs wedding or maybe she sees a happy couple walk out of Deacon Anders office thanking him for the excellent relationship advice. Maybe she has a dream that some unseen force tells her it will never let her go. Or, she could dream that Deacon Anders reads a book and an entity shows up and says he will never let go.
New plan
INT. APARTMENT – DAY
She tries contacting Brad but canât track him down.
INT. COSTCO – DAY
TE 5 – She chases after an ex suitor on the job at Costco to find out why he stopped seeing her and ends up watching a tape of her exorcism in the breakroom with the guy and his coworkers.
[Placeholder] There needs to be a montage of her interacting with different guys and all of them showing her the same video.
EXT. FARMHOUSE – DAY
Bethany goes to her parents’ farmhouse and asks them if they are sending people the tape of her exorcism. They tell her the only person who made a tape of that was Deacon Anders.
Midpoint Turning Point:
INT. RECTORY – DAY
TE 6 – Looks for Deacon Anders in the rectory and sees bouquet after bouquet of rotting roses. The Cleaning Lady says she has no idea where they come from, they just keep appearing.
Act 3:
INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY
Bethany connects with Koju on her dating app and sets up another date.
TE 8 – Deacon Anders finds her and has a friendly chat with her. He asks her if sheâs still on her dating apps and expresses disappointment that she is. Bethany excuses herself and goes to the restroom, leaving her laptop open.
New plan:
INT. HEALING CENTER – DAY
TE 9 – Bethany meets with Koju. He tells her that her suspicions were correct and he received a video of her exorcism. He tells her that the entity is still attached to her and itâs growing stronger.
INT. NEW AGE SCHOOL – DAY
TE 10 – First lesson at a New Age school, Bethany connects to her inner God power and sees Demon 23. She wants to know why heâs trying to hurt her but the connection isnât strong enough yet for a whole convo.
[PLACEHOLDER] A montage of her studying and taking lessons and getting texts from Deacon Anders asking why she isnât coming to church or hanging out anymore.
INT. NEW AGE SCHOOL – DAY
Bethany creates a protective wall around her learning space to keep Demon 23 out. Sheâs told one day she could create a protective wall that will never fade away that she can extend to every facet of her life.
INT. NEW AGE SCHOOL – DAY
Bethany is shown a book on Dark Magic and is told she needs to know the dark so she can counteract it with the light. On one of the pages she reads about marking people for death (and something about how this damns them too) by drawing a penatgram on them with their own blood.
INT. NEW AGE SCHOOL – DAY
TE 12 – Bethany uses transcendental awareness to project a message of peace, love and understanding to Brad.
[PLACEHOLDER] Need a scene where Bethany demonstrates how strong her spiritual power is. Maybe she can see beyond the veil and see the anchor between her and Demon 23. Or maybe she can start to see all attachments that exist. Maybe, unlike a priest, she can actually interact face-to-face with a demon and banish it. Maybe she sees the demonâs name behind the number and evokes it. She could do a test in a park and she could see a child with a demonic attachment and she could walk up to the demon and see that his number turns into a name – maybe she does a spell or something to see this- itâs Kevin or something and she says it and they disappear and the kid stops acting crazy.
INT. NEW AGE SCHOOL – DAY
TE 12 – Bethany uses transcendental awareness to project a message of peace, love and understanding to Brad.
INT. NEW AGE SCHOOL – DAY
Koju tells her sheâs strong enough now. She has to quip that she canât believe they play by Rumplestilskin rules. She summons Demon 23 and says she knows his name, but before she can say it, he warns her that Deacon Anders has arrived.
[PLACEHOLDER] Should be a scene where Deacon Anders is at the New Age School and tries to discredit them to Bethany. He seemingly succeeds and Bethany agrees to start going back to church.
INT. NEW AGE SCHOOL – DAY
TE 11 – Bethany uses Cosmic Mind Telepathy to connect to Deacon Anders and Demon 23 shows her an image of a pentagram.
Turning Point:
INT. DEACON ANDERSâS CHAMBERS – DAY
TE 7 – Breaks into Deacon Anders Chambers and finds a pentagram, a book of conjuring spells, and other occult items. Deacon Anders knocks Bethany out and kidnaps.
Act 4:
INT. BETHANYâS SOUL – DAY
TE 13 – While unconscious, Bethany travels into her soul and summons Demon 23 to meet her there. She asks him why he showed up after all these years. He says he sent her the dream of Deacon Anders as an SOS, telling her he can never let her go because of Deacon Anders. He tells her to telepathically connect with Deacon Anders and see what heâs planning.
INT. DEACON ANDERâS CHAMBERS
Bethany can see into Deacon Anders mindâs eye. She sees him mark her unconscious body by drawing a pentagram on the back of her neck in her own blood. Bethany recognizes that heâs marking her for death.
INT. CHURCH – NIGHT
Bethany wakes up and her church to find herself restrained on the altar along with several other people. Deacon Anders has just played a video (same video Bethany watches at Costco) of his exorcism of Bethany for the congregation including the Bishop and Cardinal.
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict
INT. CHURCH – NIGHT
INT. BETHANYâS SOUL
TE 14 – Deacon Anders conjures Demon 23 and says Bethanyâs evil has allowed the demon to attach itself to her again. He seemingly reveals the other demons that are attached to the other people restrained at the altar. He says he alone can cure the lost children with an exorcism, but Bethany telepathically projects Demon 23 into the consciousness of all of the members of the congregation while protecting them with her Inner God Power. Demon 23 shows them how Deacon Anders used the occult to conjure Demon 23 and the other demons and attach them to his various victims so that he could perform a mass exorcism and ascend the ranks of the clergy and become the Pope. However, he discovered that he couldnât actually send the demons back to their origins. So once exorcised from the person, they tended to stay around and still cause havoc.
Bethany can see the demons names and she sends them all back to their point of origin thereby releasing all of Deacon Anders victims from their attachments.
Deacon Anders grabs her and starts to read the incantation for the death mark, but Demon 23 jumps into Deacon Anders and is about to destroy them both when Bethany intervenes with her awesome power. She exorcises Deacon Anders but doesnât banish Demon 23.
Resolution
INT. Pope HQ – DAY
Deacon Anders is taken to the Vatican by the bishop and the Cardinal to be stripped of his affiliation of the church by the Pope himself.
INT. BETHANYâS SOUL – DAY
TE 15 – She meets Demon 23 once again in her soul. He tells her his attachment to her changed from possession of her to something closer to love for her. He tells her visited Brad in a dream and threatened to possess him if he didnât call Bethany and give her another chance. He tells her to expect his call. Ready to leave for good, he allows Bethany to guide him back to his origins.
INT. APARTMENT – DAY
Bethanyâs phone rings.
EXT. PARK – DAY
Bethany meets up with Brad. He is now in a relationship. But despite that, he wanted to tell Bethany that he was so sorry for running away and when he thought about it from her perspective, he realized how lonely she must have been. He never wanted that for her. He tells her that she her scary side does not outweigh how extraordinary she is. Sheâs deserving of love and he hopes she keeps looking.
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
TE 16 – At a restaurant, Bethany does a quick exorcism of a guy floundering on a date and tells him his mother invoked a demon to stop him from meeting a woman and leaving her. She whispers the demons name to the guy and the demon visibly rises out of him and shrinks into another dimension. The guy thanks her and she walks to her table where she takes a seat opposite her date. He asks where she learned how to do that and she says she knows because she was once possessed herself. She asks if the date wants to run and he smiles and asks her to tell him more.
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Tashaâs High Speed Beat Sheet
Doing this assignment, I learned: that I want to accept the rules of the High Speed Writing process, but the rule that proves hardest to follow is Rule 5. I must be actively diligent about keeping criticism and self-doubt at bay.
I confirm I listened to the Empowerment Audio.
I confirm that Iâve decided to intentionally use the High Speed Writing process throughout the rest of this program.
Pass 1: Organize your Structure and Transformational Events.
Pass 2: Add slug lines.
Pass 3: Add placeholders and additional scenes
Act 1:
Opening:
INT. BETHANYâS CHILDHOOD BEDROOM – DAY
TE 1 – Deacon Anders performs a gnarly exorcism on Bethany and roses start to bloom all around her.
EXT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Bethany goes on a terrible date that has some strange but subtle (ignorable) supernatural elements to it. The guy leaves the date while Bethany is mid-sentence.
Inciting Incident:
INT. CHURCH – DAY
TE 2 – Brad, an old friend from elementary school, sends a request to Bethany via her dating app. Sheâs working with Deacon Anders on her computer doing something for the Church at the time and he sees it. He warns her to think twice about responding.
[Placeholder] Bethany goes on another disastrous date. She checks her dating app and sees that the guy left a bad review. As she reads it, she sees a message pop up from Brad asking her to coffee. She tells him she doesnât think it would be a good idea. He says he understands and asks if she can recommend a spot.
INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY
Brad shows up and asks her if he can buy Bethany a coffee. They catch up and a romantic connection is sparked. He asks her out.
INT. CHURCH – DAY
TE 3 – She gets into her first fight ever with Deacon Anders over not going on the date with Brad even though they sparked a romantic connection during their coffee catch-up. Bethany criticizes him for being passed up for bishop even though thatâs all he wants and he has the added advantage of having performed an exorcism.
Turning Point:
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
TE 4 – Bethany is stood up by Brad who leaves a cryptic message with the restaurant hostess.
Act 2:
INT. CHURCH – DAY
Bethany apologizes to Deacon Anders for what she said about him not being a bishop and tells him he was right about Brad. He tells her that itâs ok if she is not cut out for dating and urges her to stop dating or at least give it a long rest.
[Placeholder] Something has to happen that makes her want to break her old pattern of forgetting and moving on. Maybe she sees a post about a former classmateâs wedding or maybe she sees a happy couple walk out of Deacon Anders office thanking him for the excellent relationship advice. Maybe she has a dream that some unseen force tells her it will never let her go. She decides to pursue Brad.
New plan
INT. APARTMENT – DAY
She tries contacting Brad but canât track him down.
INT. COSTCO – DAY
TE 5 – She chases after an ex suitor on the job at Costco to find out why he stopped seeing her and ends up watching a tape of her exorcism in the breakroom with the guy and his coworkers.
[Placeholder] There needs to be a montage of her interacting with different guys and all of them showing her the same video.
EXT. FARMHOUSE – DAY
Bethany goes to her parents’ farmhouse and asks them if they are sending people the tape of her exorcism. They tell her the only person who made a tape of that was Deacon Anders.
Midpoint Turning Point:
INT. RECTORY – DAY
TE 6 – Looks for Deacon Anders in the rectory and sees bouquet after bouquet of rotting roses. The Cleaning Lady says she has no idea where they come from, they just keep appearing.
Act 3:
INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY
Bethany connects with Koju on her dating app and sets up another date.
TE 8 – Deacon Anders finds her and has a friendly chat with her. Bethany excuses herself and goes to the restroom, leaving her laptop open.
New plan:
INT. HEALING CENTER – DAY
TE 9 – Bethany meets with Koju. He tells her that her suspicions were correct and he received a video of her exorcism. He tells her that the entity is still attached to her and itâs growing stronger.
INT. NEW AGE SCHOOL – DAY
TE 10 – First lesson at a New Age school, Bethany connects to her inner God power and sees Demon 23.
INT. NEW AGE SCHOOL – DAY
TE 11 – Bethany uses Cosmic Mind Telepathy to connect with Deacon Anders, but Demon 23 sends her an image of a pentagram.
INT. NEW AGE SCHOOL – DAY
TE 12 – Bethany uses transcendental awareness to project a message of peace and love to Brad.
Turning Point:
INT. DEACON ANDERSâS CHAMBERS – DAY
TE 7 – Breaks into Deacon Anders Chambers and finds a pentagram, a book of conjuring spells, and other occult items. Deacon Anders knocks Bethany out and kidnaps.
Act 4:
INT. BETHANYâS SOUL – DAY
TE 13 – While unconscious, Bethany travels into her soul and invites Demon 23 to meet her there. She shows him that she can send him back to his origins, but he strikes up a deal with her to let him get back at Deacon Anders.
INT. CHURCH – NIGHT
Bethany wakes up and her church to find herself restrained on the altar. Deacon Anders has just played a video (same video Bethany watches at Costco) of his exorcism of Bethany for the congregation including the Bishop and Cardinal.
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict
INT. CHURCH – NIGHT
INT. BETHANYâS SOUL
TE 14 – Deacon Anders conjures Demon 23 and has it repossess Bethany in a demonstration of his power. He says that he will now cure her with exorcism, but Bethany telepathically projects Demon 23 into members of the congregation while protecting them with her Inner God Power. Demon 23 shows them how Deacon Anders used the occult to make Demon 23 do his bidding so that he could ascend the rank of the clergy and become the Pope.
Resolution
INT. Pope HQ – DAY
Deacon Anders is taken to the Vatican by the bishop and the Cardinal to be stripped of his affiliation of the church by the Pope himself.
INT. BETHANYâS SOUL – DAY
TE 15 – She meets Demon 23 once again in her soul. He tells her his attachment to her changed from possession of her to something closer to love for her. He tells her visited Brad in a dream and threatened to possess him if he didnât call Bethany and give her another chance. He tells her to expect his call. Ready to leave for good, he allows Bethany to guide him back to his origins.
INT. APARTMENT – DAY
Bethanyâs phone rings.
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
TE 16 – At a restaurant, Bethany does a quick exorcism of a guy floundering on a date and tells him his mother invoked a demon to stop him from meeting a woman and leaving her. The guy thanks her and she walks to her table where Brad greets her with a kiss.
COMMITMENT
I commit myself to following the High Speed Writing Rules to get my script done at record speed.
Rule 1: Understand writing in drafts.
Rule 2: Choose speed over quality for EARLY drafts.
Rule 3: Allow yourself to start (and continue) without all the answers.
Rule 4: Use empowering self talk. Cheer yourself on.
Rule 5: Give yourself freedom to write without criticism.
Rule 6: Keep moving. Donât allow yourself to ever stall out.
Rule 7: if it doesnât come to you, give it to your creative mind to process.
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Tashaâs Transformational Events
Doing this assignment, I learned the following: donât go backwards. Even if you think you got the antagonist wrong, donât try to change everything and start over at this point in the process. Save your ideas for any changes, but keep working the structure and it will start to take shape in ways that will move you closer to the goal and also help you make those desired changes when the time comes.
1. Listened to the Empowerment Audio.
2. Start with the Character Arc and the list of Old Ways and New Ways.
Bethany starts as a lonely heart hiding her past to a powerful spiritual healer who finds a soulmate.
Bethany starts off living in the the Old Ways:
Worries sheâs unlovable
Has extreme dating anxiety and hides her past of demonic possession from her suitors
Doesnât fight for relationships once they inevitably end
Relies on Deacon Anders for spiritual guidance and dating advice
Sees Deacon Anders as a father figure
Still has to deal with Demon 23
In the end Bethany finds her soulmate as a powerful dating exorcist:
Investigates failed relationships
Pursues her soulmate
Opens up about her past
Realizes Deacon Anders is her enemy
Takes her spiritual well-being into her own hands
Loves herself and believes she is deserving of love
Rids herself of Demon 23âs attachment/oppression
Becomes a powerful dating exorcist (can see when a mother or an ex is evoking an entity to mess up someoneâs dating life)
3. Sequence of steps from Easy to Difficult
She is released from the grip of evil in her youth
Sees the potential for a true love connection and refuses to let it fizzle like her other relationships
Makes the decision to investigate why everyone leaves her
Accepts that the only person she thought loved her is her enemy
Becomes skilled at new age spiritual mysticism and healing herself from oppression
Gains control of Demon 23
Expose Deacon Anders
Sends Demon 23 back to where it came from
Becomes a Spiritual Warrior and finds love
4. Brainstorm dramatic events or tests that could cause those changes for the character.
Deacon Anders performs a gnarly exorcism on Bethany and roses start to bloom all around her
She receives a request on her dating app from Brad, a friend she knew in Elementary school
She gets into a her first fight ever with Deacon Anders over not going on the date with Brad even though they sparked a romantic connection during their coffee catch-up
Gets stood up by Brad who leaves a cryptic message with the restaurant hostess
Chases after an ex suitor on the job at Costco to find out why he stopped seeing her and ends up watching a tape of her exorcism in the breakroom with the guy and his coworkers
Looks for Deacon Anders in the rectory and sees bouquet after bouquet of rotting roses, cleaning lady says she has no idea where they come from, they just keep appearing
Breaks into Deacon Anders Chambers and finds a pentagram, a book of conjuring spells, and other occult items. Demon 23 makes its presence known and physically assaults her.
Deacon Anders finds her at a coffee shop and has a friendly chat. Bethany can see him for the enemy he is and tells him nothing of her experience in his chambers.
Bethany seeks out a New Age healer for advice and the healer tells her she has something attached to her and itâs growing stronger.
First lesson at a New Age school, Bethany connects to her inner God power and sees Demon 23
Bethany uses Cosmic Mind Telepathy to influence Deacon Anders to dump coffee on himself
Bethany uses transcendental awareness to project a message of peace and love to Brad
Bethany invites Demon 23 into her soul and shows him that she can send him back to his origins, but he strikes up a deal with her to let him get back at Deacon Anders.
Deacon Anders kidnaps Bethany and uses her during a mass in front of the Bishop to demonstrate his power over possession and exorcism. He conjures Demon 23 and possesses Bethany it. When he tries to exorcise Bethany, she telepathically protects the member of the congregation with her inner god power while Demon 23 possesses each person and shows them how Deacon Anders used black magic to make Demon 23 do his bidding.
She meets Demon 23 once again in her soul. He tells her his attachment to her changed from possession of her to something closer to love for her. Heâs ready to leave for good and Bethany guides him back to his origins.
At a restaurant, Bethany does a quick exorcism of a guy floundering on a date and tells him his mother invoked a demon to stop him from meeting a woman and leaving her. The guy thanks her and she walks to her table where Brad greets her with a kiss.
6. Add these transformational events to your four act structure.
Act 1:
Opening:
Deacon Anders performs a gnarly exorcism on Bethany and roses start to bloom all around her.
Bethany goes on a terrible date that has some strange but subtle (ignorable) supernatural elements to it. The guy leaves the date while Bethany is mid-sentence.
Inciting Incident:
Brad, an old friend from elementary school, reconnects with Bethany on social media. Sheâs working with Deacon Anders on her computer doing something for Church at the time and Deacon Anders warns her not to go.
She catches up with Brad in person over coffee and a romantic connection is sparked. He asks her out.
She gets into her first fight ever with Deacon Anders over not going on the date with Brad even though they sparked a romantic connection during their coffee catch-up. Bethany criticizes him for being passed up for bishop even though thatâs all he wants and he has the added advantage of having performed an exorcism.
TP:
Bethany is stood up by Brad and he ghosts her.
Act 2:
Bethany apologizes to Deacon Anders for what she said about him not being a bishop and tells him he was right about Brad. He tells her that itâs ok if she is not cut out for dating and urges her to stop dating or at least give it a long rest.
Bethany canât ignore her feelings. She wants love.
New plan
She tries contacting Brad but canât track him down.
She chases after an ex suitor on the job at Costco to find out why he stopped seeing her and ends up watching a tape of her exorcism in the breakroom with the guy and his coworkers.
Midpoint Turning Point:
Looks for Deacon Anders in the rectory and sees bouquet after bouquet of rotting roses, cleaning lady says she has no idea where they come from, they just keep appearing
Act 3:
Breaks into Deacon Anders Chambers and finds a pentagram, a book of conjuring spells, and other occult items. Demon 23 makes its presence known and physically assaults her.
Deacon Anders finds her at a coffee shop and has a friendly chat but Bethany can see him for the enemy he is and doesnât tell him anything about her experience in his chambers.
New plan:
Bethany seeks out a New Age healer for advice and the healer tells her she has something attached to her and itâs growing stronger.
First lesson at a New Age school, Bethany connects to her inner God power and sees Demon 23.
Bethany uses Cosmic Mind Telepathy to influence Deacon Anders to dump coffee on himself.
Bethany uses transcendental awareness to project a message of peace and love to Brad.
Bethany invites Demon 23 into her soul and shows him that she can send him back to his origins, but he strikes up a deal with her to let him get back at Deacon Anders.
Turning Point:
Deacon Anders knocks Bethany out and kidnaps.
Act 4:
Bethany wakes up and her church to find herself restrained on the altar. Deacon Anders has just played a video (same video Bethany watches at Costco) of his exorcism of Bethany for the congregation including the Bishop and Cardinal.
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict
Deacon Anders conjures Demon 23 and has it repossess Bethany in a demonstration of his power.
He says that he will now cure her with exorcism, but Bethany telepathically projects Demon 23 into members of the congregation while protecting them with her Inner God Power. Demon 23 shows them how Deacon Anders used the occult to make Demon 23 do his bidding so that he could ascend the rank of the clergy and become the Pope.
Resolution
Deacon Anders is taken to the Vatican by the bishop and the Cardinal to be stripped of his affiliation of the church by the Pope himself.
She meets Demon 23 once again in her soul. He tells her his attachment to her changed from possession of her to something closer to love for her. Heâs ready to leave for good and Bethany guides him back to his origins.
At a restaurant, Bethany does a quick exorcism of a guy floundering on a date and tells him his mother invoked a demon to stop him from meeting a woman and leaving her. The guy thanks her and she walks to her table where Brad greets her with a kiss.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by
Tasha Espinoza.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by
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Tashaâs 4 Act Transformational Structure
By doing this assignment, I learned: Once you stop striving for perfection and pivot to acceptance of imperfection, your ideas and writing start to flow.
Concept:
Unlucky in love, Bethany pursues her soul mate with guidance from her favorite priest and father figure, Deacon Anders, who encourages her to be forthcoming with new potential love interest about her past possession and exorcism.
Main Conflict:
Priest Anders believes itâs his God given mission to stop Bethany from finding love and spreading her evil and corruption. You see thiis from the opening scene and everytime he encourages Bethany to tell her suitors the truth about her past.
Old Ways:
Identity: Unlucky in love, the girl who was possessed by a demon
Looks to Deacon Anders for love advice
Stalked by a demon she is powerless to shake
New Ways:
Identity: Self-loved, girflriend, spiritually powerful and divine
Realizes itâs up to her to make love happen
No longer stalked by a demon and becomes a powerful exorcist
2. Fill in each of these with the answers you have right now.
Act 1:
Opening:
Bethany in the confessional telling Deacon Anders about her latest awkward date. Deacon Anders reminds her that she might have more success if she was up front about having been possessed by a demon when she was a teen.
Inciting Incident:
Brad, an old friend from elementary school, reconnects with Bethany on social media.
Bethany asks Deacon Anders if he intends to stay a priest and he tells her once had ambition to be a bishop but finds it more rewarding to be a priest.
She catches up with Brad in person over coffee and a romantic connection is sparked. He asks her out.
Bethany excitedly tells Deacon Anders.
Bethany is stood up by Brad and he ghosts her.
Act 2:
Bethany seeks Deacon Anders counsel, and he tells her that things not working out with Brad was for the best. He tells her that itâs ok if she is not cut out for dating and urges her to stop dating or at least give it a long rest.
Deacon Anders gives her some tea and tells her sheâs welcome to crash on the couch in the rectory if sheâs feeling lonely and doesnât want to go home. Bethany has a dream about Deacon Anders contacting Demon 23.
Bethany canât ignore her feelings. She wants love.
New plan
Bethany tries dating again, but she doesnât fee the same connection she did with Brad.
She tries contacting Brad but canât track him down.
Something deep down tells her to investigate why she canât find love.
Midpoint Turning Point:
She contacts a guy she had a good date with once and asks why he didnât pursue her. He tells her an anonymous party showed him info about her past possession. It scared him away.
Act 3:
Bethany determines that the parents who abandoned her must be the ones who are meddling.
She tells Deacon Anders her suspicion and asks if he can tell her where she can find them, so she can get them to stop meddling, but Deacon Anders tells her he wonât help because he doesnât want her to get hurt.
New plan:
She breaks into Deacon Anders’ chambers to find any info on her exorcism.
She finds a video camera set up on a stand. It points to a huge pentagram on the floor and a conjuring book. She watches the tape and sees herself unconscious at the center of the pentagram. Deacon Anders uses the conjuring book and has a conversation with Demon 23 through the unconscious Bethany.
Turning Point:
Bethany is knocked out and wakes up to find herself lying in the pentagram. She is retrained. Deacon Anders uses the conjuring book to put Bethany in a trance.
Act 4:
While in the trance, Demon 23 tells her that Deacon Anders is the one who has been blocking her path to love. And that he has been practicing the dark arts to use on Bethany and repossess her, so that he can demonstrate his power and ascend the ranks of the clergy. He sees Bethany as a way to become the Pope.
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict
Deacon Anders uses the conjuring book to shorten the tether between Demon 23 and Bethany, so that she will become permanently possessed but Bethany is able to block this from happening inside her trance. After a struggle, she ultimately expels Demon 23 from her body, but he jumps into Deacon Anders body. Bethany enters Deacon Anders mind and tells Demon 23 that she forgives him and she loves him and he must return to from whence he came.
Resolution
Deacon Anders is exposed and stripped of his priesthood. Bethany is in a much better place. She performs exorcisms on possessed kids and offers educational classes for parents on how to move forward and nurture their childrenâs spiritual well-being as opposed to abandoning them because they are scared. She has many opportunities to date and does with confidence. One day Brad comes back into her life and they fall in love. She doesnât realize he is possessed by Demon 23 who realizes he never actually wanted to possess Bethany, he wanted to love her.
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Tashaâs Character Interviews
Doing this assignment, I learned to realize my goal despite the obstacles.
1. Listened to the Empowerment Audio.
2. Pull out the character profiles for your protagonist and antagonist.
Bethany
Role in the story: Victim/Dreamer/Warrior- Canât find love due to her past possession but still hopes sheâll meet someone. She will eventually battle evil later in the story in order to pursue love because she taps into her spiritual power.
Age range and Description: 26
Internal Journey: Goes from lonely, fearful, naive, trusting, spiritual victim, and loveless/unlovable to betrayed, spiritually powerful, aware, self-love
External Journey: Goes from misguided by priest, demon attachment and striking out in love to in discovering her spiritual power and taking charge of her spiritual health, kicking the demon to the curb and finding love after learning to love herself
Motivation: She wants her first boyfriend
Wound: She was abandoned by her family and feels unloved. Betrayed by Deacon Anders who she saw as a father figure.
Mission/Agenda: To brave the world of blind/online dating and find a guy
Secret: She was possessed by a demon and itâs still around. And sheâll miss it when itâs gone.
What makes them special? Due to her familyâs abandonment, she has dedicated her life to making foster kids feel loved. When her spiritual power becomes activated, she also performs exorcism and educates parents on the dangers of child abandonment especially when it comes to post-exorcism attachment .
Deacon Anders
Role in the story: Authority/Villain/Predator – The priest who exorcized Bethany and now thinks itâs his God-given mission to protect Godâs children from her vulnerability to the corruptive forces of evil by controlling her and keeping her attached to her demon. Also using her to advance his career.
Age range and Description: 72
Internal Journey: Goes from righteousness, blind belief, absolute assuredness to desperate, defiant and lost
External Journey: Goes from exerting a controlling and manipulative influence over Bethany to being exposed for practicing dark magic, bested by Bethanyâs spiritual power and stripped of his churchâs affiliation
Motivation: To stop Bethany from spreading her corruption and evil in the name of God
Wound: Hasnât been allowed to climb the ranks of religious hierarchy
Mission/Agenda: To be recognized for the exorcism and management of a demon so he can be promoted to Bishop and maybe one day Pope
Secret: He practices black magic. Enjoys Bethanyâs train-wreck of a dating life.
What makes them special? He makes Bethany think he actually loves and cares about her, but he thinks sheâs pathetic and delights in her painful dating life like itâs a reality TV. Also, he thinks heâs actually doing good and that Bethany is evil.
3. Then interview each character, knowing that they will answer any questions you ask. As you interview them, allow them to tell you their experience.
Bethany Interview
Tell me about yourself.
I want love. I have a lot to offer. I could be a good supportive gf and I have a lot of love to give. I want to give my love to someone and be loved by them too. I havenât had a lot of love in my life. My parents abandoned me and I understand why. I was possessed and it scared my family. Deacon Anders exorcized me and I think they thought the possession tainted me. So they put me in foster care. Iâve had no contact with them for a long time.
Why do you think you were called to this journey? Why you?
Iâm just a 26 year old typical girl. I dance around my room in underwear to music. I have a job. I mentor and advocate for foster kids. I give them love and thatâs why I know I have a lot of love to give. Iâm a normal girl. I love pizza. I was possessed by a demon.
You are up against <the Antagonist>. What is it about them that makes this journey even more difficult for you?
I have a spiritual power. Feels like a divine gift from God. I can send demons back to where they come from. I discover this spiritual power later after I realize Deacon Anders has been practicing black magic to keep me from love. I still have a demon attachment to me but the one Iâm being oppressed by is Deacon Anders. Strangely my power is what exposes him and gets him stripped of his priesthood. It also gets Demon 23 to leave. My spiritual power is attached to my incredible ability to love and the demon sees my heart and sees that heâs stopping me from love and he wants to give her a chance finally. Iâm the right person for the journey because Iâm spiritually strong, perseveres and her demon is in love with her.
In order to survive or accomplish this, you are going to have to step way outside of your box. What changes do you expect to make and which of them will be the most difficult?
Deacon Anders is a hard one for me bc of all the people – i havenât had a lot of love in my life – fam left, no bf. Foster kids give her love so covered on that front. But the one guy who i thought was in my corner, came fourth as a father figure was Deacon Anders. She trusted him completely, thought he was trying to take care of me, make sure I was ok. Ended up not caring about me. Using me to advance my career. Betrayal, Broke heart. Almost lost spiritual power because of a broken heart. Still has a broken heart even though she learned to love herself, but has learned that in spite of people I trust hurting me, I will be ok, I will be strong and add to my power. But it was even more difficult, despite it all, he thought I was evil and thought God wanted him to stop me.
The change I will have to make is letting go of wanting love with a partner – the minute she can free herself of that burden, she can love herself, concentrate on herself and heal. Itâs scary because she doesnât want to give up on love and be alone forever. The 2nd difficult thing is to part ways with her demon. She knows heâs the reason she canât find her person and love but heâs the only one who has been interested in me this whole time and Iâve known him for years and I think I might miss himâŠit.
Changes I need to make are to stop wanting love with someone else, love myself, heal myself, get Deacon Anders out of her religious life/life and saying goodbye to Demon 23 (does she end up with Demon 23 in the end? Does her spiritual power make him worthy of love?)
What habits or ways of thinking do you think will be the most difficult to let go of?
Must change habits of wanting love, looking for love, hoping for love, putting too much trust in Deacon Anders, letting him make me think Iâm unlovable, letting him keep my attachment going, stop letting demon 23 act like a jealous bf and ruin things for me, be less naive, be open, take on own spiritual healing, master her power
What fears, insecurities and wounds have held you back?
I think, even though I try to be optimistic about love, itâs been so long, I’m starting to think Iâm unlovable. I cling to demons’ interest in him. I don’t think it’s love, the way he treats her is awful, it’s not love. Her family never saw her as a person, but this corrupted, evil thing. Being possessed then being abandoned gives you a lot of self doubt
What skills, background or expertise makes you well-suited to face this conflict or antagonist?
Being possessed, having an attachment still. Fear made her vulnerable. Maybe never really spiritual so she could be taken over. But has dealt with all this stuff for so long sheâs not afraid of it anymore and the fact that she loves children and helps them makes her well suited to face her conflict. Also met a guy that might really like her, she might tell him the truth (Deacon Anders already told him, maybe thatâs how she finds out about Deacon Anders). Performed exorcism of foster child and realizes she is spiritually powerful and can take on Deacon Anders and demon 23.
What are you hiding from the other characters? What donât you want them to know?
Doesnât tell her dates she was possessed. She knows Deacon Anders does it and knows he really makes her a bad guy but itâs not like she isnât going to ever tell them but her best foot forward isnât hey, i was once possessed by a demon and heâs still hanging around. I donât think Iâll ever be possessed again, heâs still around but I can keep him at bay, but I can’t get rid of him and I guess I can still get possessed. I keep that a secret. I keep in the hurt from the abandonment. And even tho i trust him and see him as a father fig, i know deep down something is off about Deacon Anders but i keep it in bc I think if I show him that iâm not secure with how he feels about me, heâll pull away his interest and âloveâ
What do you think of Deacon Anders?
I love and respect Deacon Anders but I guess I thought he was pompous and one-sided but you know that people are flawed and you give the one you love slack and understanding and explain it away. I really really thought he was someone I could lean on.
Tell me your side of this whole conflict / story.
Iâm trying to date, canât shake this demon and finds out Deacon Anders is behind it all and have to let go of everything and face him and face the demon and i do it bc i fall in love but it doesn’t really matter bc i want to love myself and when I find out Deacon Anders is doing black magic to keep Demon 23 around, i have to undo it and take him on and i just i find out he does to advance his career and be bishop bc he can manipulate a demon, not entirely certain what heâs trying to do but he didnât care what happened to me
What does it do for your life if you succeed here?
It changes it for the better finally move forward finally let go of sadness and resentment of being abandoned, can finally break up with demon 23 and move his box out of my garage so to speak and make room for another box and really hope it’s this guy that seems to find me interesting i would love he continued to date me, that would be awesome, he is, his name is brad of all things, it’s such a simple name but heâs not simple at all, it would make my life better bc could at least have a proper go at love and it doesnât matter bc i feel strong enough to be me in love
Any parting words?
After demon 23 i have to heal and move on and i get a chance at love and move on and the right person will heal me and I still can love the foster children, maybe could foster and once I realize my spiritual power, I wonât ever be afraid of being possessed again and everything my parents told me and Deacon Anders to me about corruption and vulnerability and maybe a compromised soul, iâll know wasnât true and i will be sure of my path wherever it leads me or at least iâll be sure footed
Deacon Anders Interview
Tell me about yourself.
Iâm a priest but I call myself Deacon Anders to make myself seem more humble, much like a black belt always calls himself a white belt because heâs constantly learning and should never advance towards a higher rank. I call myself Deacon Anders to remind everyone that as a priest I’m still learning. I have been passed over for bishop many many times and I find that very odd because I have actually performed a successful exorcism and Iâve made sure to go above and beyond and show that I can actually wield power over a demon which means i can summon hims and banish him, and Iâm sorry, but Iâve never heard of a catholic priest that can do that, have you ever? I believe in God and Iâm doing Godâs work. I love being a priest. I love the ceremony of it, I love the power. I donât like women or children.
Having to do with this journey, what are your strengths and weaknesses?
I have many strengths, I know bible front and back, pray everyday, l am living with the holy spirit, i give great rousing sermons and interpret the word of God for a modern day society, i run charities, huge parish and grown it two fold perform exorcism, summons demons, adequate command of the black arts as well as preaching a prayer and worship
Iâm very very narrow-minded. I donât like women and children, Iâm two faced, Iâm manipulative, I can make you think I care about you but iâm only doing that if i can use you i donât really care about many people, i only care about advancing through the ranks of the church, So my weakness is iâm not very caring as a priest, donât have a lot of love to give, and I lie and I practice the dark arts, so iâm hypocritical.
Why are you committed to making the Protagonist fail? Or for a relationship movie, why are you committed to making them change?
Bethany is evil, I truly believe that or at least i believe that, sheâs sullied, like a spoiled bride. I would say her soul is probably already compromised, itâs probably already the Devil’s, I would say that sheâs going to become possessed again or that sheâs going to pass Demon 23 to someone unsuspecting person so I feel that she cannot find love, cannot make a connection, she should stay a spinster girl that doesnât bother anyone in the world. Best case scenario, she kills herself, but it would look bad if the one care i was able to free from a demon, kills herself, so maybe not the best way to go, but must keep her reigned in she cannot bring her corruption into this world or mother somebody – could you imagine?
What do you get out of winning this fight / succeeding in your plan / taking down your competition?
I stop Bethany from harming anyone else, advance career, put myself on the map, become a cardinal or pope or have my own exorcist show and bc I control demons and can pick people to become possessed and control it that way. So many things I can do but mostly want to become a bishop and then proceed from there. But would love to become pope
What drives you toward your mission / agenda, even in the face of danger, ruin, or death?
My love of religious hierarchy. Also this is my calling. God put me on this earth to stop Bethany. I was once called to exorcize her. If anything Iâm was set on the path to stop her and who knows what she could become, I suspect she has a power that hasnât been discovered yet and if she taps into it who know what demons can come through her or into her or who knows, who knows what kind of sick psychotic beast sheâll become. Sheâs so pathetic too. Even if she didnât have a demon, I would have abandoned her too honestly, she is just this sickly sweet girl, who has got a backbone already.
As for ruin or death I donât think thatâs going to happen obviously Iâm the best of both worlds. I can control the darkness but Iâm an agent of the light.
What secrets must you keep to succeed? What other secrets do you keep out of fear / insecurity
Obviously i have to make sure people donât know i practice the dark arts and interact with a demon. Actually I really like Demon 23. Heâs very charming , but I know heâs evil so I have to keep it separate but (a proud father who approves of his daughters significant other???) but i got to be very careful that nobody knows what Iâm doing in regards to Bethanyâs oppression
Iâm worried sometimes about my religious piety. I mean Iâve been hanging around Bethany and she is a corruptor so I am a little bit worried about my ability to stay on my path and not be lost and i do not know why i have been overlooked for bishop and even though i donât like most people -mostly women and children, i still act like i love them, little kids run up to me all the time and I hug them and I hate it but youâll never know that from me, Iâll smile like the rest of them
Compared to other people like you, what makes you special?
Ambition, a lot of people think that priest have to be these humble little nobodies that just grovel and turn the other cheek and i donât think you have to be, i think ambition is a sign of intelligence, of respect of what God has given you, i definitely think you should always try to strive for something. But that said, I have God on my side. And like I said, Iâm a champion of the light but I can also wield the dark. Itâs on think to have ambition, itâs another thing to have divinity on your side and darkness tucked in your back pocket. Iâm a pretty powerful guy
What do you think of Bethany?
I just find her pathetic. I really think she is evil. An agent of chaos, I do see her as a means to an end for me in terms of getting what I want so I just play her. Itâs almost a fun game for me. See how far off I can throw her from my actual agenda and how much she believes in me and how much she follows me and then she tells me all about her dating life and it is a disaster. It’s fun to hear and revel in some schadenfreude. Sheâs a delight only in that sheâs an absolute train-wreck like in horrible reality tv. I guess I find her entertaining at least or at least her pain. I donât really care about her.Do I think sheâll actually be repossessed again? I donât know. Maybe, possibly yes. I think yes. Sheâs weak in a way that is problematic and my practice of dark magic is getting better. Bethany is just, I donât know, Iâve been around her so long sheâs almost like and after thought.
Tell me your side of this whole conflict / story.
Here this girl is and sheâs possessed by a demon and donât know what she did to have this happen, or if she was doing something with her hick father or I donât know her hick brother – i donât know what was going on. The demon was able to possess her which made me suspicious of her and I exorcize her but not fully and i knew that and she was ok i guess and then i started to realize that she was evil and i didnât want her to go into the world, i didnât want to cure her so to speak because I needed her to be under my thumb so i mentored her after she was abandoned and she became a social worker, working with foster children. I always endeavor to destroy her shot at love by always telling her potential bfs about her past and I make it sound terrible but thatâs because I cannot let her drag somebody into Satanâs arms or procreate and make the anti-christ and Bethany would definitely be the person to give birth to. I should be recognized for my efforts, theyâre valiant, and not only that Iâm worthy of becoming bishop and pope, I mean I have battled evil, I can actually control evil. Tell me who else is better than me to run the church from the top – someone who knows what they are talking about.
4. Add any new info to your Character Profiles and share with us what you discovered about the characters.
I discover that Bethany and Deacon Anders have a twisted father-daughter type relationship and that Demon 23 is almost like the boyfriend that has fatherâs seal of approval. Deacon Anders also enjoys Bethanyâs failed dating life and looks at it like reality TV. Also, Bethany thinks Demon 23 actually loves her and she will miss him when heâs gone.
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Tashaâs Character Profile Part 2
Doing this assignment, I learned that working through the five components makes it really easy to discover more about the characterâs and develop their profiles.
1. Listened to the Empowerment Audio and visualized taking those steps to success.
2. Filled in Part 2 of the character Profile for my two lead characters.
Bethany
What draws us to this character?
She is an underdog in dating. Sheâs a wonderful person and absolute girlfriend material who wants love, but supernatural forces keep her from it. Also, sheâs being used by the deacon she trusts to advance his career.
Traits: Thoughtful, considerate, humble, inexperienced, too trusting, awkward, resilient
Subtext: She makes jokes to hide her loneliness. When sheâs truly hurt or insulted, she can become cringingly self-deprecating.
Flaw: Sheâs susceptible to demonic possession
Values: Kindness, altruism, humor and bravery
Irony: Deep down she likes having a demon attached to her because at least someone/something is interested in her.
What makes her the right character for this role?
She has an untapped inner spirituality that is so strong, it can combat evil. She will never give up on finding love.
<div>
</div>Deacon Anders
What draws us to this character?
Heâs really good at projecting a kind and caring facade. Of all the people that reject Bethany, he mirrors her demon in that he seems like one of the only people interested in her well-beingâŠand hearing about her dating life. But when he puts on a red robe, draws a pentagon on the floor, and starts brainstorming ways of oppressing Bethany with a demon, you know something is a little off with him.
Traits: Wise, Ambitious, Strategic, Hypocritical, Not in touch with his true motivations
Subtext: He never says what he truly thinks and must constantly translate his thoughts to something more holy and befitting of a deacon. He often pauses to choose specific words when heâs speaking and the effect is that he comes off as sage, thoughtful and sincere.
Flaw: Practices the Dark Arts to commune with a Demon. Disdains most women and children.
Values: Power, status, titles, adoration
Irony: He is a pious wolf in sheepâs clothing. He disdains most females and only tolerates Bethany because he sees her as a means of getting what he wants.
What makes him the right character for this role?
In addition to using her as a stepping stone to advance his religious career, he actually thinks heâs doing the Lordâs work by controlling Bethany and keeping her from finding someone to corrupt under the guise of love.
3. Make any improvements you think of to your Part 1 profile and bring the two parts together.
Bethany
Role in the story: Victim/Dreamer/Warrior- Canât find love due to her past possession but still hopes sheâll meet someone. She will eventually battle evil later in the story in order to pursue love.
Age range and Description: 26
Internal Journey: Goes from lonely, fearful, naive, spiritual victim and loveless/unlovable to spiritually powerful, aware, self-love
External Journey: Goes from misguided by priest, demon attachment and striking out in love to in discovering her spiritual power and taking charge of her spiritual health, kicking the demon to the curve and finding love after learning to love herself
Motivation: She wants her first boyfriend
Wound: She was abandoned by her family and feels unloved
Mission/Agenda: To brave the world of blind/online dating and find a guy
Secret: She was possessed by a demon and itâs still around
What makes them special? Due to her familyâs abandonment, she has dedicated her life to making foster kids feel loved. When her spiritual power becomes activated, she also performs exorcism and educates parents the dangers of child abandonment especially when it comes to post-exorcism attachment
Deacon Anders
Role in the story: Authority/Villain/Predator – The Deacon who exorcized Bethany and now thinks itâs his God-given mission to protect Godâs children from her vulnerability to the corruptive forces of evil by controlling her and keeping her attached to her demon.
Age range and Description: 72
Internal Journey: Goes from righteousness, blind belief, absolute assuredness to desperate, defiant and lost
External Journey: Goes from exerting a controlling and manipulative influence over Bethany to being exposed for practicing dark magic, bested by Bethanyâs spiritual power and stripped of his churchâs affiliation
Motivation: To fight evil in the name of God
Wound: Hasnât been allowed to climb the ranks of religious hierarchy
Mission/Agenda: To be recognized for the exorcism and management of a demon so he can be promoted to Priest and maybe one day Pope
Secret: He practices black magic
What makes them special? He makes Bethany think he actually loves and cares about her. Also, he thinks heâs actually doing good.
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Tasha’s Character Profiles Part 1
Doing this assignment, I learned the following:
I really need to work on prioritizing being fast over being good (at this stage). Itâs hard not to want to revise as you go along.
2. Pick the type of role your Protagonist will play and give us a few sentences on how they will fulfill that role.
Bethany
Role in the story: Victim/Dreamer.
A wonderful girl that misses out on love due to the meddling forces of her church and a demon that once possessed her. Despite the stigma of her past possession, she changes her dating tactics with the hope of make a lasting connection with someone special.
3. Pick the type of role your Antagonist will play and give us a few sentences on how they will fulfill that role.
Priest Anders
Role in the story: Villain
Actively blocks Bethany from dating because he believes that her past possession means that God has deemed her unworthy of love. Also is able to keep her tied to the demon.
4. What other characters might be necessary?
Supporting characters:
Brad, the love interest who isnât intimidated by Bethanyâs pastâŠyet.
Demon 23, the demon that possessed Bethany whoâs starting to realize that maybe it didnât actually want her soul but her devotion/love instead
Minor Roles: Other suitors, foster children
Background characters: Church congregation
5. Pick your genre.
Comedy
6. Fill in whatever answers come to you about your lead character profiles.
Bethany
Role in the story: Canât find love due to her past possession but still hopes sheâll meet someone
Age range and Description: 28
Internal Journey: Goes from lonely, fearful, spiritual victim and loveless/unlovable to spiritually strong, aware, self-love
External Journey: Goes from misguided by priest, demon attachment and striking out in love to in charge of her spiritual health, kicking the demon to the curve and finding love after learning to love herself
Motivation: She wants her first boyfriend
Wound: She was abandoned by her family and feels unloved
Mission/Agenda: To brave world of blind/online dating and find a guy
Secret: She was possessed by a demon and itâs still around
What makes them special? Due to her familyâs abandonment, she has dedicated her life to making foster kids feel loved
Deacon Anders
Role in the story: The Deacon who exorcized Bethany and now thinks itâs his God-given mission to protect Godâs children from her vulnerability to the corruptive forces of evil by controlling her and keeping her attached to her demon.
Age range and Description: 72
Internal Journey: Goes from righteousness, blind belief, absolute assuredness to fearfulness and compliance
External Journey: Goes from exerting a controlling and manipulative influence over Bethany to agreeing to leave her alone and help free her of demonic attachment
Motivation: To fight evil in the name of God
Wound: Hasnât been allowed to climb the ranks of religious hierarchy
Mission/Agenda: To be recognized for the exorcism and management of a demon so he can be promoted to Priest
Secret: He was once possessed himself
What makes them special? He is very good at manipulating Bethany and making her think he actually loves and cares about her
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Subject line: Tashaâs Transformational Journey
1. From this assignment, I learned the following:
The story can start to take shape rather effortlessly just by answering a few key questions about your protagonist. How easy!
2. My Hero is Bethany and she was once possessed.
Where she starts:
She finds it impossible to make a true love connection, let alone date, because of her past and the demon who possessed her (and still lurks around like a jealous ex)
Where she ends up:
She fights for a relationship with the one guy who isnât scared of her and permanently exorcizes the demon herself.
Internal Journey: From feeling unloved, ashamed, unworthy and oppressed to feeling worthy of love, strong enough to fight a demon and damn proud of it.
External Journey: Hiding who she is until her past scares away her suitors to exorcizing herself of her demon and pursuing a relationship.
3. What are the Old Ways and New Ways?
Old Ways:
Hides her past
Doesnât fight for relationships
Fearful sheâs unlovable
Has extreme dating anxiety
Relies on her church to help her manage the demon that still bothers her
New Ways:
Is open about her past
Fights for her relationships
Loves herself and believes she is deserving of love
Becomes great at dating
Takes her spiritual well-being into her own hands and rids herself of the demon
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Hello
My name is Tasha. I hope everyone is well.
I’ve written two scripts.
I really hope to learn the art of writing a messy, imperfect first draft.
Something unusual about me is that I have useless premonitions, mostly related to what’s on T.V.
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Tasha Espinoza
I agree to the terms of this release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writerâs work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writerâs ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group memberâs idea, Iâll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, heâll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you donât present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group memberâs ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
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Tasha’s Horror Writing Sample
What I learned from this assignment: Stack the deck with your writing sample. Take all the best bits and figure out how to present them in the sample in a way that makes sense and packs a punch. You can always put everything back where it belongs later.
ASSIGNMENT 1: 10 Page Writing Sample
Possible Title: Ghost Hunt
Second Act, Midpoint
Up until this point in the story, the protagonist, Darren, has explored Cataldi Mansion, an allegedly haunted dwelling he heard about on a podcast. However, on his visit, he didn’t see anything supernatural, especially not the mansion’s most infamous ghost, the Hooded Lady. After talking to a friend who claimed to have experienced some supernatural phenomena at the mansion, Darren tries again. But on his second trip around, he arrives more prepared. He even brings Jill, his crafty ex-girlfriend, along for the ride.
SAMPLE:
EXT. CATALDI MANSION – DUSK
Heavy, dark clouds frame a looming victorian estate.
A chain-link fence topped with thorny barbed wire surrounds the boarded up and broken mansion.
Overflowing with malevolence, rust weeps from the decrepit windows like blood tears against the peeling white paint.
Darren and Jill emerge from the quiet woods behind the property. Wearing hiking backpacks and dark clothing, they approach the fence.
DARREN
(excited)
There it is!
Darren runs ahead a few feet to a section of the fence that is no longer attached to the post.
With some effort, Darren pries the chain-link back just enough to make a small opening.
DARREN
Okay, go.
Jill scoffs.
JILL
Iâm not going first.
DARREN
(grunting)
I thought you said you werenât afraid.
JILL
Of ghosts? Iâm not. Of serial killers and mentally ill transients…
Darren looks around. The grounds are vast and remote.
DARREN
Itâs as empty as it was last time I was here.
JILL
Wasnât that a week ago.
DARREN
Jill, this is getting heavy.
JILL
Then you go.
DARREN
I canât hold the damn thing and enter at the same time.
JILL
Iâll hold it for you.
Darren letâs out a frustrated sigh and stands up. His athletic build and stature dwarfs Jillâs petite frame.
DARREN
Are you kidding, me?
JILL
What?
DARREN
Thereâs no way.
JILL
This is why you canât get a date.
Jill pulls off her backpack and drops it to the ground. She opens the top of it and sticks her arm inside.
Darren clumsily tries to turn on his cell phoneâs flashlight to offer her a light when Jill stands up holding a pair of bolt cutters.
DARREN
Damn, Jill!
JILL
You told me to bring equipment, so I brought equipment.
She turns and starts snipping the chains of the fence.
DARREN
You canât just make a hole like that!
Jill finishes her work and smirks at Darren.
She opens the flap with ease like a door and ducks through the opening with her backpack and bolt cutters in tow. She carefully closes the flap behind her and the fence looks convincingly whole.
She stands up and faces Darren through the fence. She smiles triumphantly.
JILL
Not a hole. A door.
DARREN
I thought you said you were worried about serial killers and shit?
JILL
I donât know…
(Jill holds up the bolt cutters)
…thereâs something about holding a pair of these that makes a girl feel alright. Maybe I should do tonight solo.
Darren chuckles.
DARREN
Oh really?
Jill smiles seductively.
JILL
(Flirty)
Really.
Darren leans in closer to the fence.
DARREN
Mmmm, so sassy.
Darrenâs flirty smile drops.
DARREN
Oh my God! What is that?
A look of sheer terror contorts his face. Thereâs something behind Jill.
Terrified, Jill spins around and…nothing. Nothing is there.
Breathing hard, Jill turns back to Darren to see what gives and heâs gone.
JILL
Darren?
Jill frantically searches the other side of the fence for Darren.
JILL
Darren?
Still no response. She is really getting scared now.
JILL
Holy Shit! Darren?
DARREN
What?
Darren is in Jillâs ear and she nearly has a heart attack. She turns around to find him smiling at her, very proud of himself.
DARREN
That door works pretty good.
Jill starts hitting him.
JILL
You son of a bitch!
DARREN
What? I thought you were all brave with the bolt cutters.
JILL
Iâm going home.
DARREN
Come on, Jill!
Jill grabs her stuff and heads for the makeshift door in the fence.
DARREN
Okay, okay! It was just a joke. Iâm sorry!
He meets her at the door in the fence.
Jill stops and looks at him.
He playfully caresses one of the handles of the bolt cutter.
DARREN
Câmon. You brought all this equipment and everything.
JILL
Fuck you.
Darren flashes his pearly whites. Her resolve is melting.
DARREN
It wonât be any fun without you.
Puppy dog eyes.
INT. CATALDI MANSION
Pitch black. Two glowing orbs break through the darkness. They are flashlight beams. Darren and Jill light their way as they enter the foyer.
JILL
Is it always this dark?
DARREN
No. The moon was out last time and I could see pretty good.
Jillâs flashlight illuminates the beautiful black medallion design at the center of the ivory marble floor.
JILL
Should we stay here?
DARREN
Yeah, itâs the best way to cover both staircases.
Darren shines his light at the grand double staircase.
It connects at the second floor landing in front of an ornate stained glass window.
The window depicts a cloaked maiden standing under a barren tree with crows perched on every dead branch.
Darren stares at it, captivated.
JILL
Damn!
Darren snaps out of his trance and looks over at Jill. She sits crossed-leg on top of her rolled out sleeping bag, jabbing at her cell phone.
DARREN
What?
JILL
My phone wonât download the EMF app.
Darren sets his flashlight near his bag and walks over to her.
DARREN
You donât have any bars?
Jill shakes her head no.
JILL
That was the whole point right?
DARREN
She could still appear.
JILL
Really? What did John say?
DARREN
That tech was a sure fire way to provoke anything supernatural.
JILL
And now we donât have any tech.
DARREN
I mean, does an app really count?
Jill gives him a look of annoyance. Sheâs over this.
DARREN
Let me see that thing.
Jill hands him her cell phone.
Darren raises it in the air.
DARREN
Maybe I can find some bars.
Darren begins to wander away from their base camp.
JILL
Where are you going?
DARREN
Not far.
Jill starts to lose Darren in the shadows.
JILL
Thatâs too far.
Jill points her flashlight at him brightening the grand archway Darren stands under.
Darren squints at the darkened space ahead of him.
DARREN
Looks like thereâs a ballroom or something back here. I didnât discover it last time. Pretty cool.
Jillâs light drops away, startling Darren with sudden darkness.
DARREN
What the fuck, Jill?
He turns around, but she is gone. Her flashlight rocks gently on the ground. Itâs beam points away from him.
DARREN
Jill?
Nothing. No laughter. No sassy comeback. Only the inky abyss.
He tries to turn on the phoneâs flashlight but a laugh echoes in the dark and he stops fumbling with it.
He uses the dim glow of the screen like a lantern.
DARREN
Jill? Are you trying to get me back for earlier?
No response.
DARREN
Come on, Jill! Stop playing! I canât see anything!
He takes a step forward.
DARREN
Say something!
A voice comes from the darkness behind him.
NOT JILL
(mimicking Jillâs voice)
Darren.
Darren grimaces. Jillâs voice sounds weird.
DARREN
Jill?
Darren turns around to see the dark silhouette of a hunched woman standing in the archway, her back to him.
DARREN
Jill, is that you?
The silhouette slowly turns around.
NOT JILL
(deep and raspy)
Darren.
DARREN
Oh Hell no!
Darren stumbles backwards and falls on his backside.
The silhouette creeps towards Darren at a leaden and lumbering pace.
Eyes practically bulging out of his head, Darren scrambles backwards across the floor.
The silhouette gains speed coming closer to Darren until…Jillâs phone turns off. Darkness.
A voice close to Darrenâs ear…
VOICE
Darren!
Darren screams bloody murder.
A flashlight snaps on and Jill is standing next to Darren.
JILL
Darren itâs me!
Darren screams again and shrinks away until recognition takes hold and he clings to her.
JILL
Darren, listen! Someone dragged me into another room. I donât think weâre alone.
DARREN
No shit weâre not alone.
A moaning sound echoes from the second floor landing.
JILL
What the fuck?
Jill shines her flashlight in the direction of the sound.
Suddenly Jill screams and the flashlight beam goes dark.
DARREN
Jill?
JILL
Something clawed my hand.
DARREN
Let me see.
Darren presses the flashlight button on Jillâs phone, but it wonât respond to his touch. Jill grabs it and, wincing, hits the button and turns it on. Darren takes the phone and examines her hand.
A long, deep gash goes from the meat of her palm to her wrist. Blood gushes from the woundâs exit point.
JILL
Oh shit!
DARREN
We need to stop this bleeding.
JILL
DARREN!
Jill pulls her hand away to point at the landing, flecking Darren with the blood that trails down her arm.
The stained glass window begins to glow as if lit from behind.
Thick, purple smoke cascades down the stained glass window and pools at the landing where a HOODED FIGURE has taken shape.
Huddled tightly together, breathing rapidly, Jill and Darren watch the landing on high alert.
JILL
(whispering)
Is she from the stained glass window?
DARREN
(whispering)
Itâs the Hooded Lady.
As if hearing him, the Hooded Figure snaps its head in his direction…and levitates.
It floats towards them.
DARREN
Fuck this!
Darren and Jill turn and…
The Hooded Figure SHRIEKS before them.
Jill and Darren stop dead in their tracks.
The twisted, dead face leers at them from under the hood and BLASTS an UNGODLY SHRIEK at them.
Darren backs away from the ANGRY spirit, but Jillâs flight or fight response turns to fight.
She charges towards the figure BLASTING forth her own UNGODLY SHRIEK and…CRASHES through a screen, falling to the ground.
DARREN
What the hell?
Jill stands up. The image of the Hooded Figure is projected on her.
DARREN
Itâs not real?
Suddenly a dim glow illuminates the room.
A dozen or so people, each hooded, each holding candles, surround Jill and Darren.
JILL
No, but I think they are.
Dead-eyed and menacing, the group stalks toward them.
DARREN
What did you call them earlier? Psychotic transients?
JILL
Mentally ill…
Jill looks at her bleeding arm.
DARREN
Either way, itâs not good.
JILL
(weakly)
No…itâs not.
She faints.
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Tashaâs Key Business Decisions
What I learned: Itâs not hard to make changes that could get your film made while retaining the storyâs strength and purpose.
1. Decisions currently in my High Budget script:
Genre – Horror
Title – The Villa
Concept – When Darren and Jill spend then night in a haunted Italian mansion, they expect to see the ghost of the Lady in Red, but instead, they donât expect to discover that the Lady in Red is a hoax perpetrated by a group of psychopathic transients who intend to keep the mansion all to themselves.
Audience – Males over 25
Budget – $20 million
Lead Characters – Darren and Jill
Journey / Character Arc – They start off as careless thrill seekers looking for a supernatural experience to cautious trauma survivors who respect and fear just how scary the real world is.
Opening: The women in Red legend comes to life in Darrenâs imagination as he listens to a podcast about her horrific fate that made the Villa de Cataldi haunted.
Ending: Another thrill seeking group breaks into a haunted hotel where the resident ghost ends up being another hoax of the psychotic transients.
2. Decisions that could improve the script to make it more marketable:
Title:
The Villa is too generic and not that interesting. Since the character discovers that man is more deadly than a ghost, I would change the title to reflect that. Maybe something like: The Deadliest Thing or Deadly Spirits or Deadly Souls or Enter at Your Own Risk
Budget:
I would change it from a villa in Italy to a Mansion in the Midwest
Lead Characters:
Make Darren the main character and he survives. Jill is a sidekick and she doesnât survive.
Opening / Ending
Change the end location from a hotel to a less expensive building. Maybe an abandoned tunnel or cottage in a meadow.
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Tashaâs Speciality â Horror
What I learned doing this assignment is: A great horror film delivers on the convention of the genre in every scene. No scene is unmotivated or just filler.
Genre: Horror
Title: Get Out
Moral Statement: Itâs a modern day slave-trade tale that masterfully satires the perils of conformity for minorities in America.
Outline of the movie, highlighting the parts that fulfill the genre conventions:
OPENING SCENE:
A young African American man, Andre, is kidnapped in a quiet suburban neighborhood by an unknown assailant.
Isolation – The quiet, desolate suburban neighborhood is the perfect eerie setting for the kidnapping. There are many people in their houses, yet no one is around to witness the kidnapping. It drives home the sense of helplessness Andre feels as he tries to fight off his assailant.
1. INT. CHRISâS LOFT – DAY
Chris, a photographer, finds out that heâs meeting his girlfriend, Roseâs, white parents for the first time without them knowing heâs black.
Isolation/Tension – Already establishes Chrisâs sense of isolation and tension as he worries about what Roseâs family will think when they see that he is black.
2. EXT. RURAL ROAD – DAY
Rose drives Chris down a quiet road.
Isolation – This establishes how isolated their destination is as the road becomes more lonely with each mile.
3. INT. RURAL ROAD – ROSEâS CAR – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Chris talks on the phone to his friend, Rod, a TSA agent, who warns Chris about meeting a white girlâs parents. The car strikes an animal and screeches to a stop.
Villain – Rodâs warning foreshadows the villains.
4. EXT. RURAL ROAD – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Chris discovers that they hit a deer.
High Tension and Death/Insanity – Hitting the deer creates tension in Chris and in the audience as it foreshadows Chrisâs fights to the death.
5. EXT. RURAL ROAD – ROSEâS CAR – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Rose tells off a cop who wants to see Chrisâs license even though he wasnât driving when they hit the deer.
Villain – Sets up Rose as a villain through irony – she comes to Chrisâs defense even though Chris will come to defend himself against Rose by the movieâs climax.
6. INT. RURAL ROAD – ROSEâS CAR – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Rose says she wonât let anyone fuck with Chris and Chris tells her thatâs hot.
Villain – Sets up Rose as a villain through irony – she comes to Chrisâs defense even though Chris will come to defend himself against Rose by the movieâs climax.
7. EXT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – DAY
Rose and Chris are welcomed by Dean and Missy with big hugs while Walter, the African American caretaker, watches them from afar.
Villain – Sets up the villains through irony – Missy and Dean welcome to their home even though they plan to never let Chris go home again.
8. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – DAY
Dean shows Chris around and he learns that Dean is a retired neurosurgeon and Missy is a psychiatrist. Chris meets Georgina, who is the African American maid.
Departure from Reality – Georgina doesnât act human and itâs not because sheâs disgruntled.
9. EXT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – DAY
Dean shows Chris the very isolated estate and explains why they have âblack servantsâ Georgina and Walter.
Isolation & Departure from Reality – Thereâs no one around to help Chris and Deanâs acknowledgement of Georgina and Walter draw attention to how strange they behave.
10. EXT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – BACKYARD – DAY
While Dean explains that Missy can cure Chrisâs smoking with hypnosis and Missy reminds Rose that they are having a party the next day, Georgina has a personality switch while sheâs pouring the tea. Jeremy, Roseâs brother, shows up.
Departure from Reality – Missyâs prowess with hypnosis seems a bit unbelievable and Georginaâs personality glitch continues to increase her strange behavior.
Villain – Jeremyâs boisterous introduction is high energy and draws attention.
11. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – DINING ROOM – NIGHT
Jeremy entertains everyone at the dinner table until he starts getting intense about fighting styles and tries to put Chris in a headlock.
Villain – Jeremyâs aggression towards Chris is outwardly menacing.
12. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – ROSEâS BEDROOM – NIGHT
Rose apologizes for her racially flawed family.
Villain – Continues to sets up Rose as a villain through irony – she comes to Chrisâs defense even though Chris will come to defend himself against Rose by the movieâs climax.
14. EXT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – BACKYARD – NIGHT
Chris goes outside for a smoke and Walter almost runs him over doing sprints. Chris sees Georgina being weird in the window.
Departure from Reality and Villains– Draws attention to Georgina and Walter and how increasingly strange they behave. It also establishes mounting aggression toward Chris.
15. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – MISSYâS OFFICE- NIGHT
MIssy puts Chris under hypnosis with her teacup and sends him to the Sunken Place.
Departure from Reality and Villain – Demonstrates Missy otherworldly talent and her nefarious intentions for Chris.
16. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – ROSEâS BEDROOM – NIGHT
Chris wakes up as if from a bad nightmare. He notices his phone is unplugged.
Villain – Georginaâs mounting aggression towards Chris.
17. EXT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – DAY
Chris tries to talk to Walter who comes off as standoffish and robotic even though he smiles during the whole conversation.
Departure from Reality and Villain – Chris expects Walter to be able to relate to him in a natural and kindred manner, but Walterâs robotic and hostile nature goes beyond unfamiliarity, it comes off as creepy. It also shows Walterâs mounting aggression towards Chris.
18. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – ROSEâS BEDROOM – DAY
Chris tells Rose that he thinks Missy hypnotized him because he doesnât want a cigarette anymore and he had weird dreams. Also said had a weird vibe talking to Walter. The guests arrive.
Departure from Reality, Villain, High Tension – Again thereâs confirmation of Missyâs power which continues to foreshadow her as a villain. Also, even though Chris says that not wanting a cigarette is a good thing, he acts violated and this adds to his sense of discomfort and tension.
19. INT./EXT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – DAY
Chris gets bad vibes from all the primarily white party guests sizing him up like a prize horse. When he sees Andre, from the opening scene, Andre greets him in a very stiff and robotic manner.
Departure from Reality, Villain, High Tension – The party guests behave in a manner that is grotesque, this foreshadows their involvement as villains. Andre behaves like a robot and it feels very unnatural. This increases Chrisâs sense of tension.
20. EXT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – GAZEBO – DAY
Chris meets blind art dealer Jim Hudson. The only party guest to talk to Chris naturally.
Villain and Death/Insanity – Jim is a villain who is the only one who responds to Chris with ease and normalcy. However, he is the reason Chris will be put in a life or death situation where heâs driven to the brink of insanity.
21. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – DAY
Chris walks past the chatting, animated guests and heads upstairs to Roseâs room. As soon as heâs out of sight, the guests stop talking and watch the ceiling.
Departure from Reality, and Villains – The party guests behave in a manner that is out of the ordinary and foreshadows their involvement as villains.
22. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – ROSEâS BEDROOM – DAY
Chris notices that his phone is unplugged. He calls Rod and tells him he thinks Missy hypnotizes him.
Villains – Georginaâs mounting aggression towards Chris.
Intercut with
23. INT. CHRISâS LOFT – DAY
Rod says that they are probably hypnotizing everyone and turning them into sex slaves.
High Tension and Death/Insanity – Predicts the situation that will lead to Chris being out of control and fighting for his life and his sanity.
24. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – ROSEâS BEDROOM – DAY
Georgina apologizes to Chris for unplugging his phone. She seems to have a slight personality change that causes her smile through tears in a very creepy way.
Villain and Departure from Reality – Georgina lies to Chris about how sheâs helping to sabotage him. Then her sift in personality suggests a woman in turmoil who is crazy and/or out of control. She talks like sheâs trying to convince herself instead of Chris that things are alright.
25. EXT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – BACKYARD – DAY
The flash from Chrisâs phone causes a severe personality change in Andre. He charges toward Chris screaming âGet out!â
Departure from reality – Andre is desperate and hysterical after seeing the flash which is not normal.
Death/Insanity – We see Andre insanity, which shows the audience what will happen to Chris.
Tension – Andre has gained control for a handful of seconds and his desperation increases Chrisâs tension and sense of dread.
26. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – LIVING ROOM – DAY
Missy explains that Andre suffers from seizures and Andre apologizes for scaring everyone.
Villain – Missy lies to hide the true horror from Chris.
27. EXT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – BACKWOODS – DAY
Chris goes on a walk with Rose and says he needs to leave.
Tension – Chrisâs feels like heâs losing control and he wants to get it back.
Isolation – Chris wants to return home because heâs helpless at the Armitage Estate. Home is his hope for getting control back and resolving his tension and fear.
Intercut with:
28. EXT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – GAZEBO – DAY
Dean holds a silent auction. It is revealed that Chris is being auctioned off. Jim Hudson wins the auction.
Villains – The silence drives home the fact that all of these party guests are engaged in a nefarious undertaking.
Departure from Reality – They are bidding on Chris which is a departure from the current reality. At this point itâs unknown as to why they are bidding on him, but itâs creepy and reminiscent of slave auctions, so the audience definitely knows no good is coming from this activity.
High Tension – Creates tension for the audience as it now has a tangible reason to fear for Chrisâs safety.
29. EXT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – BACKWOODS – DUSK
Chris tells Rose that his mom died cold and alone because no one was looking for her. She says they should go back to NYC. Chris tells her he loves her.
Isolation – Highlights that the Armitageâs get away with what they are doing becomes no one comes looking for the people they auction off. This suggest that the same thing will happen to Chris.
Villain – Rose continuing to add to her villainy through irony. She defends him yet again even though he will have to defend himself against her.
30. EXT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – NIGHT
Chris and Rose approach the house as the guests leave and Jeremy plays a creepy tune on a ukulele.
High Tension – Will Chris be able to leave as easy as the guests do?
31. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – ROSEâS BEDROOM – NIGHT
Chris sends a photo of Andre to Rod and he identifies him. Then he finds pictures of Rose with all sorts of black people including Walter and Georgina.
High Tension & Death/Insanity – Chris is starting to realize he might be in a situation that is beyond his control. He might not be able to escape it.
32. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – FRONT FOYER- NIGHT
Chris discovers that Missy, Dean, Jeremy and Rose have no intention of letting him leave. Missy sends Chris to the Sunken place.
Departure from Reality and Isolation – Missyâs power is confirmed for Chris and she puts him in the Sunken Place from where he cannot escape.
High Intensity – Chris is locked in his own body and completely out of control. He is driven to hysteria.
Death/Insanity – Chris doesnât know if he will die at this point but he knows the Sunken Place is a threat to his sanity.
33. INT. CHRISâS LOFT
Rod is disturbed to find that Chris is not at home and heâs not answering his phone. Rod starts researching Andre and sees that heâs been âmissingâ for a while.
High Tension – Rodâs sense of helplessness leads him to investigate.
34. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – BASEMENT GAME ROOM – NIGHT
Chris wakes up to find that his hands and feet are bound to an armchair. A video plays that shows Chris heâs going to be part of the Armitageâs weird scheme.
Isolation: Heâs alone in the basement and bound to a chair. He is powerless.
Death/Insanity: The video doesnât explain much, but Chris knows something bad is coming that will probably threaten his life.
High Tension: The situation is out of his control.
35. INT. POLICE STATION – DAY
Rod tries to report Chris as missing.
Isolation: The cops laugh at Rod and he feels powerless.
36. INT. RODâS LOFT – DAY
Rod calls Chrisâs phone and Rose picks up. She tries to play innocent by Rod can see through her lies especially when she tries to seduce him.
Villain: Rose demonstrates how dangerous she is because Rod almost falls for her at despite knowing sheâs bad and probably did something to Chris.
37. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – BASEMENT GAME ROOM – NIGHT
Jim Hudson explains to Chris that he is going to take over Chrisâs body and Chris will live in the Sunken Place. Chris discovers how to escape.
Departure from Reality and Isolation: Demonstrates Missy otherworldly skills that renders Chris utterly powerless and at the brink of insanity and hysteria.
38. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – SURGERY ROOM – NIGHT
Dean and Jeremy prep Jim Hudson for the transplant.
Death/Insanity: Dean and Jeremy are prepping Jim so he can take Chrisâs life.
Departure from Reality: The procedure is terrifying and unreal.
Villains: Shows are skilled and ruthless Dean and Jeremy are. They are so calm about the surgery, which indicates they have been successful at it before.
High Tension: They have gotten away with this many times before. Will they successfully implant Jim into Chrisâs body?
39. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – BASEMENT GAME ROOM – NIGHT
Chris knocks Jeremy unconscious and escapes from the room.
High Tension: Jeremy physically kidnapped Andre. Will he overpower Chris?
Death/Insanity: Chris is fearful for his life and his hysteria enables him to fight to the death.
40. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – BASEMENT HALLWAY – NIGHT
Chris kills Dean with antlers.
High Tension: Will Chris be able to escape?
Death/Insanity: Chris is fearful for his life and his hysteria enables him to fight to the death.
41. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – MISSYâS OFFICE – NIGHT
Chris kills Missy.
High Tension: Missy is an expert at sending Chris to the Sunken Place. Will she do it again when he squares off with her.
Death/Insanity: Chris overpowers Missy in order to escape with his life.
42. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – FRONT ENTRANCE – NIGHT
Jeremy tries to choke Chris, but Chris stabs Jeremy in the leg and stomps him to death.
High Tension: The surprise of Jeremy not being dead may mean that heâs tough enough to subdue and/or kill Chris.
Death/Insanity: Chris fights for his life and makes sure that Jeremy is dead.
43. INT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – BEDROOM – NIGHT
Rose listens to âI Had the Time of My Life,â while eating Fruit Loops one-at-a-time and surfing the Net for another victim.
Villain: Thatâs just messed up.
44. EXT. ARMITAGE ESTATE – ROAD – NIGHT
Chris hits Georgina (Grandma) and tries to help her by loading her in the car.
Departure from Reality: Chris helps Georgina because of the slight possibility that the procedure can be reversed.
High Tension: How much of Grandma has taken over and will this cause a problem for Chris.
45. INT. CAR – NIGHT
Georgina comes to and starts attacking Chris causing him to crash. Grandma dies and Chris wakes up to Rose shooting at the car.
High Tension: Georgina comes to and sheâs all grandma. She fights Chris and causes them to crash. Is Chris dead?
Death/Insanity: The violence of the fight and the car crash.
46. EXT. CAR – NIGHT
Rose sends Walter (Grandpa) to finish off Chris but his camera flash causes Walterâs personality to shift and he shoots Rose before killing himself. Rose, still alive, calls out for help when she sees flashing red and blue lights on the property, but itâs Rod in a TSA vehicle. Rod and Chris leave and Rose bleeds out.
Isolation: Chris is almost killed by Grandpa because there is no one there to help him.
Death/Insanity: Chris has been beaten, tortured and made to fear for his life. Heâs scared out of his mind.
Departure from reality: Walter or whoever he is kills himself because he knows that procedure cannot be reversed.
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Tasha’s LinkedIn Profile is Amazing!
What I learned from this assignment: A focused LinkedIn page is a major step towards growing credibility.
Already, I improved my LinkedIn page by removing extraneous detail that distract from the main information that establishes me as a credible screenwriter. Over the next 30 days I will add to my page and grow credibility by adding my accomplishments, exchanging endorsements and recommendations, and building my network of producers.
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Tashaâs Credibility is Going Up
What I learned doing this assignment: Assessing credibility provides you with a tangible guide for improvement.
Steps for increasing credibility in the next 30 days:
Create writing sample
Get a Recommend
Win competitions
Connect to producers and grow my networkCredibility Checklist
1. Writing Sample
âRecommendâ from Coverage – no
Delivers on the genre in a strong way – no
Delivers on the business decisions – no
2. Screenwriting Accomplishments.
Contest wins: none
Smaller deals (options, sales, writing assignments): none
Larger deal: none
Movies produced: none
3. The Google factor
Google your name. How many items on the first page show you as a professional screenwriter? 0
4. Your Network
How many producers are in your network? 0
How many Connections do you have who are connected to producers? 0
5. Education specific to screenwriting
BA in Film Theory
2nd BA in Film/TV Production
ScreenwritingU Proseries
6. Borrowed Credibility
Represented by an agent or manager: no
Working with a producer: no
Connected to a star: no
Connected to a funding source: no
7. IMDB CREDITS
What credits show up there for you?
Sketcherâs Sketch of a Sketch
Writer/Director as T.Espinoza
Fear of Falling
Writer/Director as T.Espinoza
Mr. Jackson
Writer/Producer/Director as T.E. Marshall
Steveâs Problem
Producer as T.E. Marshall
Soundlings: The Desert Sessions
Producer as T.E. Marshall
8. Other forms of credibility that is related to screenwriting:
Novels published: 1 – âMore than Wordsâ under pen-name Ava Evans
Producer or director experience: Yes
Experience working with agencies, production companies, film festivals, etc..: 1 Festival – SIFF
Possible things to do to increase credibility in the future:
Become and expert and write more screenplays
Enter more contests
Grow my network on LinkedIn by connecting to more producers
Contests
Get writing assignments on projects that are produced -
Tasha’s Projects and Insights
Introduce Yourself to the Group – Check
Agree to the CA – Check
A) An Idea: More Than Words
When Davis is temporarily ditched by her boyfriend during their European vacation, she forges a chaste but romantic connection with a handsome Italian rock climber who pursues her even after she dutifully returns to the states with her apologetic boyfriend. $15-$20 million
B) Finished Script: The Cosmic Crusaders
A high school student and his classmates come to believe they are like superheroes from an old comic series and wind up stopping another student when he opens fire on the school. $10-$20 million
What I learned from the opening teleconference: Being an expert dramatically increases your chances of landing a writing assignment and be the one to do the rewrites to increase your chances of staying on a project that gets produced.
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Hi there!
My name is Tasha. Iâve written two scripts. I hope to master the art of booking paid writing assignments by taking this class. My first memory is of watching Halloween 2 with my dad. I was three at the time. It made me a life long fan of horror flicks.
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Thank you, Dawn! I really appreciate your feedbackđ
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Hi Dawn,
I just emailed you my feedback on your sample. I think it’s great! It’s well-written and absolutely delivers on the sci-fi genre. I have one suggestion for reordering a few scenes to stack the deck and a few ideas for getting it to 10 pages if that’s something you decide to do.
But overall, you did an expert job!
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Hi Dawn,
Would you like to exchange feedback? My post is below and my email is tespinozaca@gmail.com.
Thanks,
Tasha
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Hi Suzanne,
Thank you for sharing about your mom. My condolences to you and your family.
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Hi Mary,
Thank you so much for this feedback. It is very helpful and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it. I tried to relay to your post and add my feedback and it looks like it went through, but just in case, I included it below as well. I apologize for the delay in giving you feedback on your sample, but hope it can still be helpful.
Take care and have a wonderful day!
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Feedback on Maryâs Time Travel Drama
I really enjoyed reading your sample. I particularly loved the relationship between Mrs. Baldwin and Hannah and think it goes a long way towards delivering on the conventions of the genre. Thank you for the delightful read!
Genre: Drama
Title: TBD?
Iâm not sure if you already have a few percolating, but, if itâs helpful, here are a some suggestions:
âBaking Birthrightâ
âBaking Traditionsâ
âBaking with My Ancestorsâ
How it delivers on the conventions:
PURPOSE: To explore stories with emotional and inter-personal high stakes
for their characters.
This story is a meditation on growing up and womanhood. Through her journey, Hannah will be guided by the past to grow into the woman she is destined to become. Itâs the personal high-stakes of self-discovery, coming-of-age and developing faith in oneâs self.
CHARACTER-DRIVEN JOURNEY: We always need to care about the
characters in a Drama, and their internal journey drives the film’s events
and progression.
Hannah is a likable kid with a charming sense of humor that is somewhat old-fashioned in a way that lends itself to the story. Before she even time travels, her connection to the past is evident with the use of phrases like âA few cherries short of a pieâ and understanding what a âbed presserâ is. Iâm pretty old and I had to look it up đ — you cleverly set-up the payoff of Hannahâs time travel to the 1700âs by adding these little communication quirks. Wonderful! My only suggestion would be to maybe pepper in a few more antiquated turns of phrase and maybe even have Mrs. Baldwin comment on Hannahâs way of speaking by saying a certain phrase is a new one to her or that she knew pre-teens spoke a different language but Hannah takes the cake or she knew kids used weird slang but she didnât think it would be regressive.
Through Mrs. Baldwinâs concern about her granddaughter, the audience becomes invested in Hannah and we happily follow her into the past to see whatâs going to happen next.
HIGH STAKES COME FROM WITHIN: Whether the story’s events are
relatively mundane or intense, the struggles, obstacles, and stakes comes
from within the characters more than from external pressures.
Hannah is struggling with something here. The story presents it as her disenchantment with baking, but she literally abandons a recipe book from her ancestors. She needs to connect with the past in order to help her overcome the emotional struggles that could stop her from pursuing her dreams.
EMOTIONALLY RESONATES: Drama audiences want to feel and be moved
by the characters’ emotions and how they experience the events.
Hannah uses humor, which makes the audienceâs time with her enjoyable. But her lack of faith in herself at a pivotal time in her development would resonate with any audience member.
CHALLENGING, EMOTIONALLY-CHARGED SITUATIONS: Characters get
challenged to their core by the emotional situations and struggles that they
run into.
The need for self-discovery literally causes Hannah to time travel. Sheâs going to have to navigate colonial life as she connects with long-deceased family members and her return to the present hangs in the balance. She is going to be challenged on many emotional fronts.
REAL-LIFE SITUATIONS: Drama stories are grounded in reality.
The fantastical element happens against the very realistic backdrop of a cityâs July 4th celebration and reenactment that involves Hannahâs ancestors.
Summary:
The writing is easy to understand and well-paced. I was able to visualize the story very well.
I did have a question as to whether or not Hannah is the reincarnation of Lydia. Or does Hannah see Lydia in the mirror because sheâs going to interact with her in the past? I ask because you say that Lydia looks like Hannah with darker hair. Is this because they are related and thus have a familial resemblance to each other? If you reveal the actual connection later in the script, then maybe it would be a good opportunity to stack the deck by saying who she is in the set-up. Hannah could remark to herself that the reflection of the colonial girl in the mirror looks just like her great grandma Lydia (or some other musing thatâs appropriate to the story).
I would also specify that Grandmaâs name is Mrs. Baldwin in the set-up. It was a little bit confusing when sheâs referred to as grandma in the set-up but as Mrs. Baldwin in the sample. You may establish this earlier in the script, but this could be another opportunity to stack the deck.
I loved seeing Mrs. Baldwinâs concern for Hannah, especially through the context of baking. I think it would be great to see it elevated in the kitchen scene.
I would also suggest that Hannah make the realization about forgetting the recipe book when sheâs already in the middle of baking. As it stands, sheâs reminded about the book in her room and instead of running out the door to go and retrieve it, she stays and bakes. I know Hannah is a pre-teen (or almost) but I found that to be an odd priority, especially since she knew how valuable the book was to Mrs Baldwin and leaving it in the tavern could risk it getting damaged or stolen. So it didnât really sit well that she didnât try to get it back immediately.
Whereas, if Mrs Baldwin called her downstairs to help bake, you could pack the scene with some key dynamics:
Hannah could gripe about having to help and Mrs. Baldwin could literally wrap an apron around her and hand an egg and bowl to her, which would demonstrate just how much Mrs. Baldwin hopes Hannah will return to her love of Baking. She could still be playful here and sing the Blondie song, which I loved btw, but while doing all that she can to physically make Hannah bake.
Then when Hannah, covered in egg and flour, etc., is told about the jumbles, she could become majorly distracted since it references the message from earlier. This could motivate the crushing of the egg and other baking mishaps as she tries to piece everything together (the dialogue she has in her room by herself could be used in the kitchen, but now mumbles it to herself).
Then when sheâs reminded about Mary Newport, she has the panicked realization that she left the book behind, but leaving urgently isnât so easy now because sheâs messy and in the middle of helping Mrs. Baldwin. She could start to wash up and tell Mrs. Baldwin, she has to go. Mrs. Baldwin could still think she is worried about her cell phone and could try to stop her when Hannah realizes she could tell her that sheâs going to âbring the jumbles to CTâ to convince her to let her go back to the Tavern.
By rearranging the sequence of actions and having her make the discovery of her mistake when sheâs already helping grandma, it makes Hannah seem less careless and unconcerned–two traits which seem out of place for a character that youâve already established as being pretty thoughtful and observant.
Thatâs it for my notes and suggestions. I hope you find them helpful. But I got to say, your fabulous instincts as a story-teller are on full display here and the sample builds on the conventions of the genre masterfully!
Thank you again for the opportunity to provide feedback on your sample.
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Hi Mary,
I apologize for the delay in giving you feedback on your sample and appreciate your patience.
First off, I want to say I really enjoyed reading your sample. I particularly loved the relationship between Mrs. Baldwin and Hannah and think it goes a long way towards delivering on the conventions of the genre. Thank you for the delightful read!
Okay, here goesâŠ
Feedback on Maryâs Time Travel Drama
Genre: Drama
Title: TBD?
Iâm not sure if you already have a few percolating, but, if itâs helpful, here are a some suggestions:
âBaking Birthrightâ
âBaking Traditionsâ
âBaking with My Ancestorsâ
How it delivers on the conventions:
PURPOSE: To explore stories with emotional and inter-personal high stakes
for their characters.
This story is a meditation on growing up and womanhood. Through her journey, Hannah will be guided by the past to grow into the woman she is destined to become. Itâs the personal high-stakes of self-discovery, coming-of-age and developing faith in oneâs self.
CHARACTER-DRIVEN JOURNEY: We always need to care about the
characters in a Drama, and their internal journey drives the film’s events
and progression.
Hannah is a likable kid with a charming sense of humor that is somewhat old-fashioned in a way that lends itself to the story. Before she even time travels, her connection to the past is evident with the use of phrases like âA few cherries short of a pieâ and understanding what a âbed presserâ is. Iâm pretty old and I had to look it up đ — you cleverly set-up the payoff of Hannahâs time travel to the 1700âs by adding these little communication quirks. Wonderful! My only suggestion would be to maybe pepper in a few more antiquated turns of phrase and maybe even have Mrs. Baldwin comment on Hannahâs way of speaking by saying a certain phrase is a new one to her or that she knew pre-teens spoke a different language but Hannah takes the cake or she knew kids used weird slang but she didnât think it would be regressive.
Through Mrs. Baldwinâs concern about her granddaughter, the audience becomes invested in Hannah and we happily follow her into the past to see whatâs going to happen next.
HIGH STAKES COME FROM WITHIN: Whether the story’s events are
relatively mundane or intense, the struggles, obstacles, and stakes comes
from within the characters more than from external pressures.
Hannah is struggling with something here. The story presents it as her disenchantment with baking, but she literally abandons a recipe book from her ancestors. She needs to connect with the past in order to help her overcome the emotional struggles that could stop her from pursuing her dreams.
EMOTIONALLY RESONATES: Drama audiences want to feel and be moved
by the characters’ emotions and how they experience the events.
Hannah uses humor, which makes the audienceâs time with her enjoyable. But her lack of faith in herself at a pivotal time in her development would resonate with any audience member.
CHALLENGING, EMOTIONALLY-CHARGED SITUATIONS: Characters get
challenged to their core by the emotional situations and struggles that they
run into.
The need for self-discovery literally causes Hannah to time travel. Sheâs going to have to navigate colonial life as she connects with long-deceased family members and her return to the present hangs in the balance. She is going to be challenged on many emotional fronts.
REAL-LIFE SITUATIONS: Drama stories are grounded in reality.
The fantastical element happens against the very realistic backdrop of a cityâs July 4th celebration and reenactment that involves Hannahâs ancestors.
Summary:
The writing is easy to understand and well-paced. I was able to visualize the story very well.
I did have a question as to whether or not Hannah is the reincarnation of Lydia. Or does Hannah see Lydia in the mirror because sheâs going to interact with her in the past? I ask because you say that Lydia looks like Hannah with darker hair. Is this because they are related and thus have a familial resemblance to each other? If you reveal the actual connection later in the script, then maybe it would be a good opportunity to stack the deck by saying who she is in the set-up. Hannah could remark to herself that the reflection of the colonial girl in the mirror looks just like her great grandma Lydia (or some other musing thatâs appropriate to the story).
I would also specify that Grandmaâs name is Mrs. Baldwin in the set-up. It was a little bit confusing when sheâs referred to as grandma in the set-up but as Mrs. Baldwin in the sample. You may establish this earlier in the script, but this could be another opportunity to stack the deck.
I loved seeing Mrs. Baldwinâs concern for Hannah, especially through the context of baking. I think it would be great to see it elevated in the kitchen scene.
I would also suggest that Hannah make the realization about forgetting the recipe book when sheâs already in the middle of baking. As it stands, sheâs reminded about the book in her room and instead of running out the door to go and retrieve it, she stays and bakes. I know Hannah is a pre-teen (or almost) but I found that to be an odd priority, especially since she knew how valuable the book was to Mrs Baldwin and leaving it in the tavern could risk it getting damaged or stolen. So it didnât really sit well that she didnât try to get it back immediately.
Whereas, if Mrs Baldwin called her downstairs to help bake, you could pack the scene with some key dynamics:
Hannah could gripe about having to help and Mrs. Baldwin could literally wrap an apron around her and hand an egg and bowl to her, which would demonstrate just how much Mrs. Baldwin hopes Hannah will return to her love of Baking. She could still be playful here and sing the Blondie song, which I loved btw, but while doing all that she can to physically make Hannah bake.
Then when Hannah, covered in egg and flour, etc., is told about the jumbles, she could become majorly distracted since it references the message from earlier. This could motivate the crushing of the egg and other baking mishaps as she tries to piece everything together (the dialogue she has in her room by herself could be used in the kitchen, but now mumbles it to herself).
Then when sheâs reminded about Mary Newport, she has the panicked realization that she left the book behind, but leaving urgently isnât so easy now because sheâs messy and in the middle of helping Mrs. Baldwin. She could start to wash up and tell Mrs. Baldwin, she has to go. Mrs. Baldwin could still think she is worried about her cell phone and could try to stop her when Hannah realizes she could tell her that sheâs going to âbring the jumbles to CTâ to convince her to let her go back to the Tavern.
By rearranging the sequence of actions and having her make the discovery of her mistake when sheâs already helping grandma, it makes Hannah seem less careless and unconcerned–two traits which seem out of place for a character that youâve already established as being pretty thoughtful and observant.
Thatâs it for my notes and suggestions. I hope you find them helpful. But I got to say, your fabulous instincts as a story-teller are on full display here and the sample builds on the conventions of the genre masterfully!
Thank you again for the opportunity to provide feedback on your sample.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by
Tasha Espinoza.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by
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Hi Joe,
I hope you are well. Could you use some feedback on your Sample? I know I would definitely appreciate it if you could take a look at mine and let me know what you think.
Thank you,
Tasha