[Matteo Ribaudo]

Title:Sangre
Logline: An unlikely hunter becomes prey to a Jungle's folklore beast.
Thriller Map 1
Characters:
Bravo Hero
Carlos red herring
Magda Vilain
Lilith Villain/Hero
TITLE CARD: “A LOVING MOTHER WILL DO ANYTHING TO FEED HER HUNGRY CHILD.”
COLD OPENING
EXT. JUNGLE – DAY
A crocodile crawls into the river. Suddenly a woman walks carefree out of the water.
INT. TENT – DAY
She makes her way to a tent and goes inside. She buttons up her shirt and tends to a man on a gurney with an IV. He says you have to be careful of the crocs in the river. She says they should be the ones who should scared. She tells him he will be fine and he’s got a baby on the way. He has puma claws around his neck. They are from his ancestors. She looks at his nails. They’re dirty and she asks him has he been out in the jungle hunting again. He smiles and hugs his wife. We need to eat he says. Suddenly SOLDIERS storm in the tent and drag the man out. The woman tries to stop them.
I/E. TENT – DAY
The soldiers beat the life out of the man and toss him into the river where the crocs devour him. His wife watches him die and the soldiers hold her back. They drag her inside the tent. She tells them to get away from her. They rip her clothes. Screams ensue from the soldiers. The silhouette of something inhuman thrashes inside.
The woman crawls out covered in blood. The soldiers inside are dead. The woman stands at the river, and screams at the loss of her husband. She caresses her flat pregnant belly she looks off into the distance.
HERO OPENING
INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY
A slinky dress and a man’s clothes on the floor. A GIRL lays next to BRAVO, (50’s), a legendary football player and celebrity from Argentina. A LOUD knock at the door. It’s his long time agent CARLOS. He’s yelling for Bravo to get up because they’re going on a jungle tour.
INT. CAR – DAY
In a car ride to the jungle entrance we learn about our lead and his agent’s relationship. Carlos surprises him with a safari to hunt pumas in the jungle. Bravo is a lover not a fighter, but goes anyway since this is the first time his agent has bought him anything. Bravo also says how much his misses being able to run and he would give anything to sprint like he used to. His knee injury that ruined his career.
EXT. JUNGLE TOUR – PARKING LOT – DAY
Sunny bright day. Tour GUIDES wait to take ADVENTURE SEEKERS and HUNTERS into the jungle. An OFFICIAL tells the guides that the weather is going to be bad and all tours are suspended. GUIDE #1 walks up to BRAVO hungover and CARLOS. The guide hands them an envelope with a refund.
INCITING INCIDENT
MAGDALENA (40’s) a local, who wears puma claws around her neck in honor of her late husband, says she can take them on the tour no problem. She carries a rusty old rifle from the military. Our hero is hesitant but his agent taunts him that he’s chicken and they into the jungle. She only has one rifle and she is in charge of the fire arm.
The guide hands them an envelope with a refund.
EXT. JUNGLE – DAY
Magdalena takes them through the jungle. They learn about the beauty, dangers, and pitfalls of the jungle. They see waterfalls and experience treacherous terrain. Bravo the footballer twists his bad knee and can’t move that well. She points to a cave system on the horizon which is an old military medical station. He can get help there.
TURNING POINT
EXT. JUNGLE – NIGHT
The group is forced to camp out at night. The caves are too far to travel to in the dark. Magdalena warns them the jungle is filled with predators. A snake crawls near Bravo and Magdalena kills it. She bites it’s head off. She cooks it and Bravo doesn’t want to eat it. Carlos loves it.
Carlos pulls out a flask to calm down Bravo. Later Carlos talks about how his Abuela use to tell stories about people who could transform into beasts if they lived in the jungle long enough.
Something in the jungle grumbles. A Puma’s eyes glow in the jungle. It hunts them. Carlos takes out his pistol and shoots blindly into the forest. Magdalena yells at him to no be so careless. She’s pissed off goes after the Puma and doesn’t return. Bravo questions why the hell does Carlos have a gun.
EXT. JUNGLE – DAY
The guys wake up and see Magdalena back. She says she had to wait till day light to make her way back to them. She leads them to the caves.
MIDPOINT
EXT. CAVE – DAY
The guys follow Magda to the cave. The see the remnants of a military medical camp. She gets the Bravo a splint and crutch to get him to follow her into the cavern. Carlos says this is not a good idea, and Bravo says we need to follow her, she’s our only way out of the jungle.
INT. CAVE – DAY
The guys follow Magda into the dark cave. She walks ahead and the guys try to keep up. Carlos goes ahead to tell her to slow down because Bravo is slow on the crutches.
Dark and now alone Bravo thinks he sees a girl. He follows her away from the group. She leads him into a room that she lives.
INT. CAVE – DAY
Carlos tries to follow Magda. He loses her in the darkness. Carlos screams for Bravo but hears his voice echo back at him. Suddenly eyes glow in the dark back at him from a puma. Carlos fires his pistol. We see flashes the puma running at him. He empties out his revolver. Carlos gets tackled to the ground. The puma breathes on top of him it bears it’s teeth. Carlos closes his eyes for a quick death. Suddenly he opens his eyes and the puma is gone. He can’t believe he’s not dead. He gets up and walks again. He sees a light up ahead.
INT. CAVE – HOME – DAY
We learn who Lilith is. She’s enamored by Bravo. She wants to know all about outside the jungle.
INT. CAVE – BLOOD ROOM – DAY
Carlos comes to hospital looking room. He sees Magdalena prepping the room. He explains his crazy puma incident. She says why don’t you lie down and rest. She could set up an IV to rehydrate him. He asks about Bravo and says he’s probably lost, but all tunnels end up here. He should be by any minute.
INT. CAVE – HOME – DAY
Carlos is now missing and Magda comes into the room and tells Bravo this is her daughter. Bravo wants to know where Carlos is? Magda explains she hasn’t seen him and hopefully he didn’t go down the wrong cave. They’re endless and he could be forever lost or fallen down a ravine.
Magda AND Lilith argue about last night and how she left the cave and it’s dangerous out alone in the jungle. She complains that she is old enough and wants to venture out. Magda defends her point by saying there’s hunters all around.
They eat lunch. And we find out she’s on a special diet. She eats blood sausage and drinks her juice, which is blood. She tells her to drink slow and to remember what happen the last time. Lilith defiantly drinks it down. Magda pulls away her blood sausage to moderate her feeding. Bravo really wants it because it reminds him of his childhood and he thought it was disgusting. His hungry and eats it and realizes it tastes good. Lilith whispers to Magda, can she have Bravo as a father. The mother says you can’t get attached to men. She says that what’s to stop her from turning him. She laughs. At her naiveté. Magda secretly says she’s not old enough or strong enough to make him transform into one and she would never live through the process.
Bravo thinks they should find Carlos, but he can’t walk. Magda says she will look. Lilith keeps Bravo company and they talk about the outside world.
TURNING POINT 1
INT. CAVE – NIGHT
Magda walks the caves and moaning is heard from down the way.
INT. CAVE – BLOOD ROOM – NIGHT
Magda comes in and tells him to be quite. Carlos is on a blood transfusion machine. He pleads for his life to Magda. She gives him more drugs to calm him down. She said he had a nasty fall and needs to stay still. She pulls a pint of blood from him. He doesn’t have much more. She explains he’s lost a lot of blood and needs to rest.
INT. CAVE – HOME – NIGHT
Magda says she hasn’t found Carlos. She tells Bravo it’s too late to leave now, especially since it’s dark out. She will look for him tomorrow and then they can head back if Bravo wants.
INT. CAVE – HOME – DAY
Magda serves blood sausage again. Bravo doesn’t want it again. Lilith also complains. Magda flips out and tosses his plate against the wall. She leaves them. Bravo asks if they are going to leave. Magda leaves and doesn’t come back until nightfall.
INT. CAVE – DAY
Bravo crutches through the cave with Lilith to leave and they hear moaning. Lilith heart beats to hunt. She’s hungry for blood. She leaves to find Carlos wailing. Bravo hears a puma growl and limps fast to hide and gets lost.
INT. CAVE – BLOOD ROOM – NIGHT
Carlos in a hospital reaches for Magda’s rifle he aims to shoot at something that lurks in the darkness. He fires the rusty relic and the trigger breaks off. The gun is useless.

INT. CAVE – NIGHT
Bravo hears screaming and thrashing echoing in the cave. The puma tares apart Carlos. Magda finds Bravo in the dark. He looks frightened. He thinks he heard Carlos and an animal. Magda consoles him and says theres no animals in here. She apologizes for earlier as teenagers are difficult to deal with.
INT. CAVE – HOME – NIGHT
Lilith comes in covered in Carlo’s blood. Her mother is pissed and tells her to wash her face. Bravo wants to know where all the blood is from. Magda says she got into the blood sausage. Lilith and her mother argue some more and how she wants to leave the cave. She tells her she can’t.
Lilith is blood drunk from feeding too much and comes onto Bravo. Her hormones rage. Magda realizing this locks her in a dog cage. Bravo sees a way out. If he can convince Lilith to help him escape he can take her into town and see the world.
INT. CAVE – HOME – DAY
Bravo wakes up early morning and he and Lilith set out to escape.
INT. CAVE – BLOOD ROOM – DAY
Bravo and Lilith walk by a blood trail that leads to Carlos half eaten. Bravo freaks out. Lilith tells him not to worry it was probably a puma that killed him. Why is he on an IV? He grabs Carlos’s gun on the counter. Lilith tells him we have to leave!
INT. CAVE – DAY
They walk in the cave and Bravo’s flash light goes out. She says to keep following her she can see in the dark as she’s use to the darkness. Her eyes glow like a puma.
INT. CAVE – DAY
Bravo and Lilith make their way to the cave exit. She is sensitive to light and puts on sunglasses as they get closer to the exit of the cave. Bravo says where to? He gets knocked out by Magda. She injects him with a needle.
TURNING POINT 2:
INT. CAVE – BLOOD ROOM – NIGHT
Lilith and her mother Magda stand over Bravo on the bed. She pleads again to turn Bravo into a shapeshifter puma. She says if not done properly he could die. Lilith says she won’t leave again but if we had a family living in the cave would be easier and he could protect her. She says no and Lilith walks out pissed.
Bravo wakes up on the table with a blood transfusion on his arm. Carlos’s gun in his pocket.
Magdalena tells him what’s going on and his sacrifice will not be wasted. She leaves him to lie there while his blood drains from his arm. His arms bound he tries to pull out the gun and can’t. Lilith comes in and says that she’s sorry. He says untie her and they can escape.
Magda comes back in and she tells Lilith to let Bravo rest. She doesn’t want to leave. She tells her mother she wants to turn him so she can have a father. She says no because she’s jealous and doesn’t trust men. She tells Lilith that she can hunt him instead.
Climax
EXT. CAVE – NIGHT
Bravo is let out of the cave to flee. Magda says your free to go. He asks what about Lilith and her? Don’t worry we’ll find you soon enough.
Bravo limps through the forest. Rustling noises in the jungle. He limps faster. Two pumas run on opposite sides of him. He trips and falls to the ground. A puma comes up. Bravo pulls out his gun. The puma is about to strike and he’s about to shoot.
Suddenly Lilith comes out of the brush. She says wait don’t. She says mother don’t. She pleads for her to turn him.
Magdalena transforms back into herself. She says okay, and that she was turned by her father at her age.
Bravo doesn’t know whats going on. Lilith walks over to him and gently grabs the gun. She tosses it in the jungle. She caresses his face and says this may hurt a little but soon you will be one of us and run again, like you have never run before. Like puma. She extends her finger and a puma claw grows out. She cuts her arm and offers her blood to Bravo. He sucks her blood. She pulls away her arm and she staggers. Her mother holds her up and asks if she’s okay. She nods I think so. Bravo convulses on the ground and lies still. Lilith thinks he killed him.
Suddenly he wakes up in a gasp of air. His eyes change to puma’s eyes. Bravo gets on all fours and changes into a puma. Lilith and Magda change into a puma. They dash into the forest.
RESOLVE
EXT. HIKING TOUR – PARKING LOT – DAY
Magdalena, Bravo, and Lilith wait with sunglasses for the next couple of guys for a hiking tour. It’s overcast. They talk about killing the people who hunt and destroy the jungle. Thrill seekers with a selfish nature deserve to be eaten. But you must be careful as hunters hunt us, thats why we hunt them wisely.

• This reply was modified 10 months ago by  Matteo Ribaudo.

[Matteo Ribaudo]

Where do we send critiques?
Where is the rest of the class?
Only two writers left? So we are getting one critique?
Where is Hal? No feedback on any lessons?
Why are we left in the dark?
Super frustrated…

• This reply was modified 10 months ago by  Matteo Ribaudo.

[Matteo Ribaudo]

Title:Sangre
Thriller Map 1
Characters:
Bravo Hero
Carlos red herring
Magda Vilain
Lilith Villain/Hero
TITLE CARD: “A LOVING MOTHER WILL DO ANYTHING TO FEED HER HUNGRY CHILD.”
COLD OPENING
EXT. JUNGLE – DAY
A crocodile crawls into the river. Suddenly a woman walks carefree out of the water.
INT. TENT – DAY
She makes her way to a tent and goes inside. She buttons up her shirt and tends to a man on a gurney with an IV. He says you have to be careful of the crocs in the river. She says they should be the ones who should scared. She tells him he will be fine and he’s got a baby on the way. He has puma claws around his neck. They are from his ancestors. She looks at his nails. They’re dirty and she asks him has he been out in the jungle hunting again. He smiles and hugs his wife. We need to eat he says. Suddenly SOLDIERS storm in the tent and drag the man out. The woman tries to stop them.
I/E. TENT – DAY
The soldiers beat the life out of the man and toss him into the river where the crocs devour him. His wife watches him die and the soldiers hold her back. They drag her inside the tent. She tells them to get away from her. They rip her clothes. Screams ensue from the soldiers. The silhouette of something inhuman thrashes inside.
The woman crawls out covered in blood. The soldiers inside are dead. The woman stands at the river, and screams at the loss of her husband. She caresses her flat pregnant belly she looks off into the distance.
HERO OPENING
INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY
A slinky dress and a man’s clothes on the floor. A GIRL lays next to BRAVO, (50’s), a legendary football player and celebrity from Argentina. A LOUD knock at the door. It’s his long time agent CARLOS. He’s yelling for Bravo to get up because they’re going on a jungle tour.
INT. CAR – DAY
In a car ride to the jungle entrance we learn about our lead and his agent’s relationship. Carlos surprises him with a safari to hunt pumas in the jungle. Bravo is a lover not a fighter, but goes anyway since this is the first time his agent has bought him anything. Bravo also says how much his misses being able to run and he would give anything to sprint like he used to. His knee injury that ruined his career.
EXT. JUNGLE TOUR – PARKING LOT – DAY
Sunny bright day. Tour GUIDES wait to take ADVENTURE SEEKERS and HUNTERS into the jungle. An OFFICIAL tells the guides that the weather is going to be bad and all tours are suspended. GUIDE #1 walks up to BRAVO hungover and CARLOS. The guide hands them an envelope with a refund.
INCITING INCIDENT
MAGDALENA (40’s) a local, who wears puma claws around her neck in honor of her late husband, says she can take them on the tour no problem. She carries a rusty old rifle from the military. Our hero is hesitant but his agent taunts him that he’s chicken and they into the jungle. She only has one rifle and she is in charge of the fire arm.
The guide hands them an envelope with a refund.
EXT. JUNGLE – DAY
Magdalena takes them through the jungle. They learn about the beauty, dangers, and pitfalls of the jungle. They see waterfalls and experience treacherous terrain. Bravo the footballer twists his bad knee and can’t move that well. She points to a cave system on the horizon which is an old military medical station. He can get help there.
TURNING POINT
EXT. JUNGLE – NIGHT
The group is forced to camp out at night. The caves are too far to travel to in the dark. Magdalena warns them the jungle is filled with predators. A snake crawls near Bravo and Magdalena kills it. She bites it’s head off. She cooks it and Bravo doesn’t want to eat it. Carlos loves it.
Carlos pulls out a flask to calm down Bravo. Later Carlos talks about how his Abuela use to tell stories about people who could transform into beasts if they lived in the jungle long enough.
Something in the jungle grumbles. A Puma’s eyes glow in the jungle. It hunts them. Carlos takes out his pistol and shoots blindly into the forest. Magdalena yells at him to no be so careless. She’s pissed off goes after the Puma and doesn’t return. Bravo questions why the hell does Carlos have a gun.
EXT. JUNGLE – DAY
The guys wake up and see Magdalena back. She says she had to wait till day light to make her way back to them. She leads them to the caves.
MIDPOINT
EXT. CAVE – DAY
The guys follow Magda to the cave. The see the remnants of a military medical camp. She gets the Bravo a splint and crutch to get him to follow her into the cavern. Carlos says this is not a good idea, and Bravo says we need to follow her, she’s our only way out of the jungle.
INT. CAVE – DAY
The guys follow Magda into the dark cave. She walks ahead and the guys try to keep up. Carlos goes ahead to tell her to slow down because Bravo is slow on the crutches.
Dark and now alone Bravo thinks he sees a girl. He follows her away from the group. She leads him into a room that she lives.
INT. CAVE – DAY
Carlos tries to follow Magda. He loses her in the darkness. Carlos screams for Bravo but hears his voice echo back at him. Suddenly eyes glow in the dark back at him from a puma. Carlos fires his pistol. We see flashes the puma running at him. He empties out his revolver. Carlos gets tackled to the ground. The puma breathes on top of him it bears it’s teeth. Carlos closes his eyes for a quick death. Suddenly he opens his eyes and the puma is gone. He can’t believe he’s not dead. He gets up and walks again. He sees a light up ahead.
INT. CAVE – HOME – DAY
We learn who Lilith is. She’s enamored by Bravo. She wants to know all about outside the jungle.
INT. CAVE – BLOOD ROOM – DAY
Carlos comes to hospital looking room. He sees Magdalena prepping the room. He explains his crazy puma incident. She says why don’t you lie down and rest. She could set up an IV to rehydrate him. He asks about Bravo and says he’s probably lost, but all tunnels end up here. He should be by any minute.
INT. CAVE – HOME – DAY
Carlos is now missing and Magda comes into the room and tells Bravo this is her daughter. Bravo wants to know where Carlos is? Magda explains she hasn’t seen him and hopefully he didn’t go down the wrong cave. They’re endless and he could be forever lost or fallen down a ravine.
Magda AND Lilith argue about last night and how she left the cave and it’s dangerous out alone in the jungle. She complains that she is old enough and wants to venture out. Magda defends her point by saying there’s hunters all around.
They eat lunch. And we find out she’s on a special diet. She eats blood sausage and drinks her juice, which is blood. She tells her to drink slow and to remember what happen the last time. Lilith defiantly drinks it down. Magda pulls away her blood sausage to moderate her feeding. Bravo really wants it because it reminds him of his childhood and he thought it was disgusting. His hungry and eats it and realizes it tastes good. Lilith whispers to Magda, can she have Bravo as a father. The mother says you can’t get attached to men. She says that what’s to stop her from turning him. She laughs. At her naiveté. Magda secretly says she’s not old enough or strong enough to make him transform into one and she would never live through the process.
Bravo thinks they should find Carlos, but he can’t walk. Magda says she will look. Lilith keeps Bravo company and they talk about the outside world.
TURNING POINT 1
INT. CAVE – NIGHT
Magda walks the caves and moaning is heard from down the way.
INT. CAVE – BLOOD ROOM – NIGHT
Magda comes in and tells him to be quite. Carlos is on a blood transfusion machine. He pleads for his life to Magda. She gives him more drugs to calm him down. She said he had a nasty fall and needs to stay still. She pulls a pint of blood from him. He doesn’t have much more. She explains he’s lost a lot of blood and needs to rest.
INT. CAVE – HOME – NIGHT
Magda says she hasn’t found Carlos. She tells Bravo it’s too late to leave now, especially since it’s dark out. She will look for him tomorrow and then they can head back if Bravo wants.
INT. CAVE – HOME – DAY
Magda serves blood sausage again. Bravo doesn’t want it again. Lilith also complains. Magda flips out and tosses his plate against the wall. She leaves them. Bravo asks if they are going to leave. Magda leaves and doesn’t come back until nightfall.
INT. CAVE – DAY
Bravo crutches through the cave with Lilith to leave and they hear moaning. Lilith heart beats to hunt. She’s hungry for blood. She leaves to find Carlos wailing. Bravo hears a puma growl and limps fast to hide and gets lost.
INT. CAVE – BLOOD ROOM – NIGHT
Carlos in a hospital reaches for Magda’s rifle he aims to shoot at something that lurks in the darkness. He fires the rusty relic and the trigger breaks off. The gun is useless.

INT. CAVE – NIGHT
Bravo hears screaming and thrashing echoing in the cave. The puma tares apart Carlos. Magda finds Bravo in the dark. He looks frightened. He thinks he heard Carlos and an animal. Magda consoles him and says theres no animals in here. She apologizes for earlier as teenagers are difficult to deal with.
INT. CAVE – HOME – NIGHT
Lilith comes in covered in Carlo’s blood. Her mother is pissed and tells her to wash her face. Bravo wants to know where all the blood is from. Magda says she got into the blood sausage. Lilith and her mother argue some more and how she wants to leave the cave. She tells her she can’t.
Lilith is blood drunk from feeding too much and comes onto Bravo. Her hormones rage. Magda realizing this locks her in a dog cage. Bravo sees a way out. If he can convince Lilith to help him escape he can take her into town and see the world.
INT. CAVE – HOME – DAY
Bravo wakes up early morning and he and Lilith set out to escape.
INT. CAVE – BLOOD ROOM – DAY
Bravo and Lilith walk by a blood trail that leads to Carlos half eaten. Bravo freaks out. Lilith tells him not to worry it was probably a puma that killed him. Why is he on an IV? He grabs Carlos’s gun on the counter. Lilith tells him we have to leave!
INT. CAVE – DAY
They walk in the cave and Bravo’s flash light goes out. She says to keep following her she can see in the dark as she’s use to the darkness. Her eyes glow like a puma.
INT. CAVE – DAY
Bravo and Lilith make their way to the cave exit. She is sensitive to light and puts on sunglasses as they get closer to the exit of the cave. Bravo says where to? He gets knocked out by Magda. She injects him with a needle.
TURNING POINT 2:
INT. CAVE – BLOOD ROOM – NIGHT
Lilith and her mother Magda stand over Bravo on the bed. She pleads again to turn Bravo into a shapeshifter puma. She says if not done properly he could die. Lilith says she won’t leave again but if we had a family living in the cave would be easier and he could protect her. She says no and Lilith walks out pissed.
Bravo wakes up on the table with a blood transfusion on his arm. Carlos’s gun in his pocket.
Magdalena tells him what’s going on and his sacrifice will not be wasted. She leaves him to lie there while his blood drains from his arm. His arms bound he tries to pull out the gun and can’t. Lilith comes in and says that she’s sorry. He says untie her and they can escape.
Magda comes back in and she tells Lilith to let Bravo rest. She doesn’t want to leave. She tells her mother she wants to turn him so she can have a father. She says no because she’s jealous and doesn’t trust men. She tells Lilith that she can hunt him instead.
Climax
EXT. CAVE – NIGHT
Bravo is let out of the cave to flee. Magda says your free to go. He asks what about Lilith and her? Don’t worry we’ll find you soon enough.
Bravo limps through the forest. Rustling noises in the jungle. He limps faster. Two pumas run on opposite sides of him. He trips and falls to the ground. A puma comes up. Bravo pulls out his gun. The puma is about to strike and he’s about to shoot.
Suddenly Lilith comes out of the brush. She says wait don’t. She says mother don’t. She pleads for her to turn him.
Magdalena transforms back into herself. She says okay, and that she was turned by her father at her age.
Bravo doesn’t know whats going on. Lilith walks over to him and gently grabs the gun. She tosses it in the jungle. She caresses his face and says this may hurt a little but soon you will be one of us and run again, like you have never run before. Like puma. She extends her finger and a puma claw grows out. She cuts her arm and offers her blood to Bravo. He sucks her blood. She pulls away her arm and she staggers. Her mother holds her up and asks if she’s okay. She nods I think so. Bravo convulses on the ground and lies still. Lilith thinks he killed him.
Suddenly he wakes up in a gasp of air. His eyes change to puma’s eyes. Bravo gets on all fours and changes into a puma. Lilith and Magda change into a puma. They dash into the forest.
RESOLVE
EXT. HIKING TOUR – PARKING LOT – DAY
Magdalena, Bravo, and Lilith wait with sunglasses for the next couple of guys for a hiking tour. It’s overcast. They talk about killing the people who hunt and destroy the jungle. Thrill seekers with a selfish nature deserve to be eaten. But you must be careful as hunters hunt us, thats why we hunt them wisely.

• This reply was modified 10 months, 1 week ago by  Matteo Ribaudo.
• This reply was modified 10 months, 1 week ago by  Matteo Ribaudo.
• This reply was modified 10 months, 1 week ago by  Matteo Ribaudo.

[Matteo Ribaudo]

Day 13: Misdirecting Your Audience
Lesson taught to use not many or it will get kitschy to add but I do think more to come during the writing process, very similar to misleads and clues.
Misdirections:

1. Check these three to see how effectively you used misdirection
The Red Herring character.
Carlos is jolly heavy set person who is kind. He brings a gun to a jungle hike.
B. The Villain’s plan.
Magdalena is a nurse from the military who seems to be caring and protective of her food source(men) for her daughter to feed on.
C. The cover-up for each mystery present as “Reality.”
2. Look through your Thriller Map for a few opportunities to add in misdirection.

Clue Misdirection.
IV is used to save somebody win the beginning and used to kill somebody in the end.
Medical station is to keep people alive long enough to kill them by draining their blood.
The gun that’s meant to kill Bravo helps save him.
B. Character Misdirection.
All the characters are a misdirection to what is really going to happen.
Bravo our hero is a jerk and learns to rise to the occasion.
Carlos is nice and considerate but has a hidden gripe with our Hero.
Magdalena is a caregiver that feeds and helps the men survive just so she can kill them.
Lilith is sheltered weak, and fragile, but she can run as puma throughout the jungle at night.
C. Dialogue Misdirection.

Bravo says you couldn’t hurt a bug what are you going to do with that gun. Like you could shoot it.

Magdalena says the crocs are the ones who should be worried.

Bravo says he would never be a tour guide and at the end he’s a tour guide to get people for food for Lilith.

• This reply was modified 10 months, 1 week ago by  Matteo Ribaudo.

[Matteo Ribaudo]

Day 12: Engaging Clue Trails

In this lesson I know more clues will come while writing the script as they usually do, but this was nice execersie to map out some of them.

CLUE LIST:
CLUE: Magdalena walks out of Croc infested waters unharmed.
CLUE: She says the crocs should be scared of her to her husband.
CLUE: She’s a medic and takes out the man’s IV when she gets back. She helps him live.
CLUE: A croc inside the tent kills the soldiers inside the tent. The woman comes out covered in blood. She stands by the river and weeps her lost love. She dives in the water.
CLUE: BRAVO has no family and his agent does. He has envy of his agent and wishes he could have a child to carry on his legacy.
CLUE: Bravo says he could never do this job, he doesn’t like people enough to lead them around the jungle.
CLUE:The Jungle is a living hell with the heat and things that can kill you, sounds like fun thanks for taking us on a Jungle hike.
CLUE: Carlos couldn’t hurt and insect in opening and Bravo steps on a cockroach.
CLUE: The agent has a gun and says nothing in the jungle is going to hurt you. As He is going to.
CLUE: Bravo is hunter and thirsty. He says I’d drink water from a the river he’s so thirsty. She says that would be dangerous to his health.
CLUE: She says you don’t want to get lost out here, or you will never find your way out. As long as I’m here you’re safe.
Clue: Magdalena catches a snake before it strikes our Hero. She bites it in half.
CLUE: Gun is revealed to protect them or to kill Bravo.
CLUE: Bravo is thirsty now from hiking. Lilith is Thirsty for blood.
CLUE: Medical equipment in the cave will be the death of them.
CLUE: Lilith’s complexion isn’t from being stuck in the cave.
CLUE : She’s sweet and polite to men but hates her mother.
Twist: She’s blood thirsty and waits to feed.
CLUE: She says she can out run any man, if her mother would let her.

Thriller Map with clues:

Cold Opening
In a near by river a newly pregnant woman’s bare legs walk out of the water. She comes to a tent and goes inside. Inside lies a man. She lays down with him.

CLUE: Magdalena walks out of Croc infested waters unharmed.
CLUE: She says the crocs should be scared of her to her husband.
CLUE: She’s a medic and takes out the man’s IV when she gets back. She helps him live.

Life threatening event:
Suddenly Guerrilla soldiers invade their tent and drag the man out. They knock her down causing a facial scar. They beat him to almost death. His wife pleads for mercy. They drag her inside and try and rape her. The man’s body is tossed into the lake and crocodiles devour him.

CLUE: A croc inside the tent kills the soldiers inside the tent. The woman comes out covered in blood. She stands by the river and weeps her lost love. She dives in the water.

Mystery: Who is this woman and how did she fight the soldiers off?
Mystery 2: Why would she dive into the water with the crocodiles?
Intrigue: There is something not normal about this woman but what?
Suspense: Will she survive the Crocodile infested waters?

A. What is the reveal? Magdalena is a shapeshifting crocodile
B. How did it get covered up? We don’t see her change into croc.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? How does she swim into the croc infested waters as a human?
D. When you reveal the truth, it must have dramatic impact.
When she turns into the crocodile our hero must escape her wrath.

TWIST 1:
Direction: A pregnant woman exits a crocodile infested waters to a tent without concern.
Twist:Safely in her tent she ins attacked by soldiers.
TWIST 2:
Direction: They kill her husband and feed him to crocodiles. They drag her inside and try to rape her.
Twist: She kill them and comes out covered in blood.

Twist 3:
Direction: She screams sadness.
Twist: She wades into the river with the crocodiles and disappears underneath.

Hero OPENING: Our hero and his longtime sports agent arrive at Jungle expedition. He’s hungover and doesn’t want to go. The sports agent tries to convince and then the expedition is cancelled due to incremental weather.

Mystery1: How is this conceited sports legend our hero?

CLUE: BRAVO has no family and his agent does. He has envy of his agent and wishes he could have a child to carry on his legacy.

CLUE: Bravo says he could never do this job, he doesn’t like people enough to lead them around the jungle. The Jungle is a living hell with the heat and things that can kill you, sounds like fun thanks for taking us on a Jungle hike.

CLUE: Carlos couldn’t hurt and insect in opening and Bravo steps on a cockroach.

Mystery 2: Why is his agent so hell bent on going into the jungle?

CLUE: The agent has a gun and says nothing in the jungle is going to hurt you. As He is going to.

Life Threatening situation: Mudslides, flooding, treacherous terrain awaits them if they go in the jungle.

A. What is the reveal? Agent carries a gun.
B. How did it get covered up? With his shirt.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? Why does a sports agent have a gun on vacation?
D. When you reveal the truth, it must have dramatic impact. The agent pulls out the gun when something stalks them in the jungle at night.

Twist 4:
Direction: Our hero and his longtime sports agent arrive at Jungle expedition.
Twist: Our Hero doesn’t want to go.

Twist 5:
Direction: The agent talks him into going.
Twist: Weather prevents them from going.

INCITING INCIDENT: A woman tells them she can take them into the jungle and the weather will be fine.

Mystery: Who is this strange woman that tells them it’s safe to go into the jungle,

Intrigue: The agent wants to still go even though he’s less adventurous and physically capable and despite all the other tour guides not going in, he eggs on our Hero to go.

Suspense: What will happen when the go into the jungle.

Twist 6:
Direction: The go to leave for the hotel.
Twist: A strange woman takes them on the expedition despite the weather report..

CLUE: Bravo is hunter and thirsty. He says I’d drink water from a the river he’s so thirsty. She says that would be dangerous to his health.

CLUE: She says you don’t want to get lost out here, or you will never find your way out. As long as I’m here you’re safe.

Twist 7:
Direction: They hike the jungle and it’s beautiful.
Twist: Their guide gets them lost and they have to camp the night.

A. What is the reveal? How vast the jungle is.
B. How did it get covered up? From outside looking in it looks pleasant and accessible.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? Being lost in the jungle is life or death.
D. When you reveal the truth, it must have dramatic impact. When Bravo climbs to the top of a mountain the jungle extends for miles.

TURNING POINT 1: The hero and his agent and guide have to spend the night in the jungle. The next day they’re left alone in the jungle and have no way out. They realize they cant get out alive without a guide.

Clue: Magdalena catches a snake before it strikes our Hero. She bites it in half.

Life threatening situations: There’s many predators that are in the jungle that can kill our hero. Snakes and pumas, and deadly spiders are everywhere in the jungle.
A. What is the reveal? Theres folklore about blood thirsty animals that inhabit the jungle.
B. How did it get covered up? They look normal because they haven’t fed yet.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? They don’t see Lilith or Magdalena for who they are until its too late.
D. When you reveal the truth, it must have dramatic impact. When they feed they transform into the animals.

Mystery: Why does Magdalena eat a snake raw.
Intrigue: Why does her cold blood need warmth from the fire?

A. What is the reveal? Lilith stalks them at night as a shapeshifting puma.
B. How did it get covered up? The darkness is great cover.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? What rustles and growls in the night.
D. When you reveal the truth, it must have dramatic impact. When the hero escapes Lilith growls as she runs after him as a puma.

Mystery: Something stalks them at night.
Mystery: What lurks in the shadows.

Clue: Magdalena catches a snake before it strikes our Hero. She bites it in half.

CLUE: Gun is revealed to protect them or to kill Bravo.

Suspense: The predator moves closer to strike.
Intrigue: Where did Magdalena go?

CLUE: Bravo is thirsty now from hiking. Lilith is Thirsty for blood.

Life Threatening :Lost in the jungle without water, the danger of hydration and potential death.

Intrigue: Why is the agent okay with being lost in the jungle? Mystery: Why does Agent keep putting them in dangerous circumstances? Cliff diving and climbing sketching rocks.
Intrigue: Does the agent have a death wish for our hero?
Suspense:Will he survive this trip?

Twist 8:
Direction: Something stalks them in the darkness.
Twist: Its a cute animal that comes into sight.

Twist 9:
Direction: In the morning they go to hike home.
Twist: The guide has left them alone.

Twist 10:
Direction: The hero tries to find their way out.
Twist: The agent plans to kill him with his gun.

Twist 11:
Direction: The agent plans to kill the hero.
Twist: He tosses his gun down the cliff.

MIDPOINT: Magdalena returns and leads them to a cavern for safety. Our hero is glad to see our true villain.
Intrigue: Where did Magdalena go and why did she come back?

A. What is the reveal?The Cave is a trap
B. How did it get covered up? Its an old medical outpost for the military.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? Why is all the equipment still being used.
D. When you reveal the truth, it must have dramatic impact. The equipment is used for blood transfusion for Lilith.

CLUE: Medical equipment in the cave will be the death of them.

Mystery: What’s in the cave?

Mystery: A maze in the cavern leads them to Lilith’s chamber where she waits to feed.
Mystery: Who is Lilith and why is she so pale?

CLUE: Lilith’s complexion isn’t from being stuck in the cave.

Intrigue: Why does Lilith not go out in the daytime?

Suspense: Will they see sunlight ever again.

Twist 12:
Direction: They need water and drink rain water from the leaves.
Twist: They become sick and need to find help.

Twist 12.2
Direction: They find a sign for and aid station and come to a cave system.
Twist: Magdalena is waiting for them.

Twist 13:
Direction: Hero is glad to see Magdalena after she explains she went to go to get water and when she returned they were gone.
Twist: Magdalena is leading them into a trap set in the cave.

Twist 14:
Direction: Magdalena leads them into the cave system to get a radio or something to help the Hero.
Twist: She leads them to her blood thirsty vampire daughter Lilith.

Twist 15:
Direction: Lilith looks harmless and friendly.
CLUE : She’s sweet and polite to men but hates her mother.
Twist: She’s blood thirsty and waits to feed.
CLUE: She says she can out run any man, if her mother would let her.

Intrigue: The mother and daughter argue a lot. She wants to get out and see the world but its not safe.

Mystery: Why does Magdalena and Lilith go swimming at night with the crocodiles?

TURNING POINT 2:
Villain’s plan: Magdalena hold them hostage to drain their blood. The mother uses a rusty IV to transfuse blood from their arms to feed Lilith.

She must be fed in stages or she will get blood drunk and feed too much and kill anything in her way to get it.

Mystery: Is Lilith a vampire?
Intrigue: Our hero tries take Lilith under his wing and pin her against her mother.

Twist 16:
Direction: The agent and Hero get tied up and have to escape.
Twist: The agent confesses his plans to kill them both.

Twist 17:
Direction: The mother brings men to her daughter to feed.
Twist: The daughter hates her mother for not letting her out in the real world to hunt her prey.

Twist 18:
Direction: Magdalena transfuses blood from the agent to make it last longer.
Twist: Lilith smashes the blood supply after she feeds and doesn’t feel like his blood is helping.

Twist 19:
Direction: Our hero decides to befriend the vampire to escape Magdalena before his blood is gone.
Twist: Lilith helps the hero escape

Suspense: As the agent’s blood is almost gone and she plans a grand feast of the hero, but the daughter has second thoughts as she feels a connection to our hero as a father figure.
Life threatening events: The agent dead body is tossed in the river.

Hero’s false hope is dangerous as Lilith will need to feed again.

A. What is the reveal? Lilith is a vampire shapeshifter
B. How did it get covered up? She is an innocent looking girl.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? Her pale complexion makes her look weak.
D. When you reveal the truth, it must have dramatic impact. When the hero escapes Lilith has great speed and is ferocious.

CLIMAX:
Villain’s plan: The mother decides to kill the hero because he is getting too close to her daughter. The hero and Lilith escape the mother as she falls to her death.

A. What is the reveal? Lilith father was a puma shape shifter.
B. How did it get covered up? Magdalena doesn’t know that she has her father’s genes.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? Lilith wants a father figure in her life.
D. When you reveal the truth, it must have dramatic impact. Lilith growls as she runs after him as a puma. When she turns 15.

Twist 20:
Direction: The hero and Lilith escape Magdalena.
Twist: Lilith just wants to hunt the hero in the open jungle.

Twist 21:
Direction: Lilith is about to eat the hero.
Twist:Magdalena saves the hero.

Twist 22:
Direction:The hero and Magdalena now must fend off Lilith’s rage and cross the crocodile infested waters.
Twist: The hero sees Magdalena for what she is shapeshifter crocodile.

Twist 23:
Direction: The hero and Magdalena want to trap Lilith back in the cave.
Twist: Lilith traps them in the cave.

Twist 24:
Direction: Magdalena tricks her daughter into forgiving her.
Twist: Magdalena punishes her for not listening to her.

Twist 25:
Direction: Magdalena ties the hero up to feed Lilith and drain him dry.
Twist: Lilith wont feed.

Twist 26:
Direction: Lilith pleads for his life.
Twist: Magdalena agrees.

Twist 27:
Direction: Magdalena says she wont kill him.
Twist: Lilith makes him into a vampire.

What is the reveal?A hero can be honorable
B. How did it get covered up? He’s a selfish prick who only cares about himself most of the way.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? He tries to save his agent but it’s too late
D. When you reveal the truth, it must have dramatic impact. His heroics to save his agent comes around too late and he’s eaten by Magdalena as a croc.

RESOLUTION: Our hero takes on a father’s role and replaces Magdalena’s for getting Lilith food. The hero is forced to deal with Lilith’s hunger now.

Twist 28:
Direction: Our hero’s now a vampire.
CLUE IRONY from beginning.
Twist: He lures new people into the jungle

• This reply was modified 10 months, 1 week ago by  Matteo Ribaudo.

[Matteo Ribaudo]

Day 11: Creating Demand for Reveals

At this point the script is already writing itself and discovery of new information floods out with each leasson.

Thriller Map with reveals and twists:

Cold Opening
In a near by river a newly pregnant woman’s bare legs walk out of the water. She comes to a tent and goes inside. Inside lies a man. She lays down with him.

Life threatening event:
Suddenly Guerrilla soldiers invade their tent and drag the man out. They knock her down causing a facial scar. They beat him to almost death. His wife pleads for mercy. They drag her inside and try and rape her. The man’s body is tossed into the lake and crocodiles devour him. The soldiers inside get killed by the woman. She comes out covered ins blood. She stands by the river and weeps her lost love. She dives in the water.

Mystery: Who is this woman and how did she fight the soldiers off?
Mystery 2: Why would she dive into the water with the crocodiles?
Intrigue: There is something not normal about this woman but what?
Suspense: Will she survive the Crocodile infested waters?

A. What is the reveal? Magdalena is a shapeshifting crocodile
B. How did it get covered up? We don’t see her change into croc.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? How does she swim into the croc infested waters as a human?
D. When you reveal the truth, it must have dramatic impact.
When she turns into the crocodile our hero must escape her wrath.

TWIST 1:
Direction: A pregnant woman exits a crocodile infested waters to a tent without concern.
Twist:Safely in her tent she ins attacked by soldiers.
TWIST 2:
Direction: They kill her husband and feed him to crocodiles. They drag her inside and try to rape her.
Twist: She kill them and comes out covered in blood.

Twist 3:
Direction: She screams sadness.
Twist: She dives into the river with the crocodiles.

Hero OPENING: Our hero and his longtime sports agent arrive at Jungle expedition. He’s hungover and doesn’t want to go. The sports agent tries to convince and then the expedition is cancelled due to incremental weather.

Mystery1: How is this conceded sports legend our hero?
Mystery 2: Why is his agent so hell bent on going into the jungle?

Life Threatening situation: Mudslides, flooding, treacherous terrain awaits them if they go in the jungle.

A. What is the reveal? Agent carries a gun.
B. How did it get covered up? With his shirt.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? Why does a sports agent have a gun on vacation?
D. When you reveal the truth, it must have dramatic impact. The agent pulls out the gun when something stalks them in the jungle at night.

Twist 4:
Direction: Our hero and his longtime sports agent arrive at Jungle expedition.
Twist: Our Hero doesn’t want to go.

Twist 5:
Direction: The agent talks him into going.
Twist: Weather prevents them from going.

INCITING INCIDENT: A woman tells them she can take them into the jungle and the weather will be fine.

Mystery: Who is this strange woman that tells them it’s safe to go into the jungle,
Intrigue: The agent wants to still go even though he’s less adventurous and physically capable and despite all the other tour guides not going in, he eggs on our Hero to go.

Suspense: What will happen when the go into the jungle.

Twist 6:
Direction: The go to leave for the hotel.
Twist: A strange woman takes them on the expedition despite the weather report..

Twist 7:
Direction: They hike the jungle and it’s beautiful.
Twist: Their guide gets them lost and they have to camp the night.

A. What is the reveal? How vast the jungle is.
B. How did it get covered up? From outside looking in it looks pleasant and accessible.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? Being lost in the jungle is life or death.
D. When you reveal the truth, it must have dramatic impact. When Bravo climbs to the top of a mountain the jungle extends for miles.

TURNING POINT 1: The hero and his agent and guide have to spend the night in the jungle. The next day they’re left alone in the jungle and have no way out. They realize they cant get out alive without a guide.

Life threatening situations: There’s many predators that are in the jungle that can kill our hero. Snakes and pumas, and deadly spiders are everywhere in the jungle.
A. What is the reveal? Theres folklore about blood thirsty animals that inhabit the jungle.
B. How did it get covered up? They look normal because they haven’t fed yet.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? They don’t see Lilith or Magdalena for who they are until its too late.
D. When you reveal the truth, it must have dramatic impact. When they feed they transform into the animals.

Mystery: Why does Magdalena eat a snake raw.
Intrigue: Why does her cold blood need warmth from the fire?

A. What is the reveal? Lilith stalks them at night as a shapeshifting puma.
B. How did it get covered up? The darkness is great cover.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? What rustles and growls in the night.
D. When you reveal the truth, it must have dramatic impact. When the hero escapes Lilith growls as she runs after him as a puma.

Mystery: Something stalks them at night.
Mystery: What lurks in the shadows.
Suspense: The predator moves closer to strike.
Intrigue: Where did Magdalena go?

Life Threatening :Lost in the jungle without water, the danger of hydration and potential death.

Intrigue: Why is the agent okay with being lost in the jungle? Mystery: Why does Agent keep putting them in dangerous circumstances? Cliff diving and climbing sketching rocks.
Intrigue: Does the agent have a death wish for our hero?
Suspense:Will he survive this trip?

Twist 8:
Direction: Something stalks them in the darkness.
Twist: Its a cute animal that comes into sight.

Twist 9:
Direction: In the morning they go to hike home.
Twist: The guide has left them alone.

Twist 10:
Direction: The hero tries to find their way out.
Twist: The agent plans to kill him with his gun.

Twist 11:
Direction: The agent plans to kill the hero.
Twist: He tosses his gun down the cliff.

MIDPOINT: Magdalena returns and leads them to a cavern for safety. Our hero is glad to see our true villain.
Intrigue: Where did Magdalena go and why did she come back?

A. What is the reveal?The Cave is a trap
B. How did it get covered up? Its an old medical outpost for the military.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? Why is all the equipment still being used.
D. When you reveal the truth, it must have dramatic impact. The equipment is used for blood transfusion for Lilith.

Mystery: What’s in the cave?

Mystery: A maze in the cavern leads them to Lilith’s chamber where she waits to feed.
Mystery: Who is Lilith and why is she so pale?
Intrigue: Why does Lilith not go out in the daytime?

Suspense: Will they see sunlight ever again.

Twist 12:
Direction: They need water and drink rain water from the leaves.
Twist: They become sick and need to find help.

Twist 12.2
Direction: They find a sign for and aid station and come to a cave system.
Twist: Magdalena is waiting for them.

Twist 13:
Direction: Hero is glad to see Magdalena after she explains she went to go to get water and when she returned they were gone.
Twist: Magdalena is leading them into a trap set in the cave.

Twist 14:
Direction: Magdalena leads them into the cave system to get a radio or something to help the Hero.
Twist: She leads them to her blood thirsty vampire daughter Lilith.

Twist 15:
Direction: Lilith looks harmless and friendly.
Twist: She’s blood thirsty and waits to feed.

Intrigue: The mother and daughter argue a lot. She wants to get out and see the world but its not safe.

Mystery: Why does Magdalena and Lilith go swimming at night with the crocodiles?

TURNING POINT 2:
Villain’s plan: Magdalena hold them hostage to drain their blood. The mother uses a rusty IV to transfuse blood from their arms to feed Lilith.
Mystery: Is Lilith a vampire?
Intrigue: Our hero tries take Lilith under his wing and pin her against her mother.

Twist 16:
Direction: The agent and Hero get tied up and have to escape.
Twist: The agent confesses his plans to kill them both.

Twist 17:
Direction: The mother brings men to her daughter to feed.
Twist: The daughter hates her mother for not letting her out in the real world to hunt her prey.

Twist 18:
Direction: Magdalena transfuses blood from the agent to make it last longer.
Twist: Lilith smashes the blood supply after she feeds and doesn’t feel like his blood is helping.

Twist 19:
Direction: Our hero decides to befriend the vampire to escape Magdalena before his blood is gone.
Twist: Lilith helps the hero escape

Suspense: As the agent’s blood is almost gone and she plans a grand feast of the hero, but the daughter has second thoughts as she feels a connection to our hero as a father figure.
Life threatening events: The agent dead body is tossed in the river.

Hero’s false hope is dangerous as Lilith will need to feed again.

A. What is the reveal? Lilith is a vampire shapeshifter
B. How did it get covered up? She is an innocent looking girl.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? Her pale complexion makes her look weak.
D. When you reveal the truth, it must have dramatic impact. When the hero escapes Lilith has great speed and is ferocious.

CLIMAX:
Villain’s plan: The mother decides to kill the hero because he is getting too close to her daughter. The hero and Lilith escape the mother as she falls to her death.

A. What is the reveal? Lilith father was a puma shape shifter.
B. How did it get covered up? Magdalena doesn’t know that she has her father’s genes.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? Lilith wants a father figure in her life.
D. When you reveal the truth, it must have dramatic impact. Lilith growls as she runs after him as a puma. When she turns 15.

Twist 20:
Direction: The hero and Lilith escape Magdalena.
Twist: Lilith just wants to hunt the hero in the open jungle.

Twist 21:
Direction: Lilith is about to eat the hero.
Twist:Magdalena saves the hero.

Twist 22:
Direction:The hero and Magdalena now must fend off Lilith’s rage and cross the crocodile infested waters.
Twist: The hero sees Magdalena for what she is shapeshifter crocodile.

Twist 23:
Direction: The hero and Magdalena want to trap Lilith back in the cave.
Twist: Lilith traps them in the cave.

Twist 24:
Direction: Magdalena tricks her daughter into forgiving her.
Twist: Magdalena punishes her for not listening to her.

Twist 25:
Direction: Magdalena ties the hero up to feed Lilith and drain him dry.
Twist: Lilith wont feed.

Twist 26:
Direction: Lilith pleads for his life.
Twist: Magdalena agrees.

Twist 27:
Direction: Magdalena says she wont kill him.
Twist: Lilith makes him into a vampire.

What is the reveal?A hero can be honorable
B. How did it get covered up? He’s a selfish prick who only cares about himself most of the way.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? He tries to save his agent but it’s too late
D. When you reveal the truth, it must have dramatic impact. His heroics to save his agent comes around too late and he’s eaten by Magdalena as a croc.

RESOLUTION: Our hero takes on a father’s role and replaces Magdalena’s for getting Lilith food. The hero is forced to deal with Lilith’s hunger now.

Twist 28:
Direction: Our hero’s now a vampire.
Twist: He lures new people into the jungle

• This reply was modified 10 months, 1 week ago by  Matteo Ribaudo.

[Matteo Ribaudo]

Day 10: Trust And Betrayal

In this assignment I realize that a thriller is all about trust and betrayal, and twisting those allegiances to make all is not as it seems is what makes a thriller great.

1. Make a list of the main characters.
Hero: Bravo
Villain: Magdalena, Lilith
Red Herring Character: Carlos
Trusted, but shouldn’t be: Magdalena, Lilith
Isn’t trusted, but should be: Carlos

2. What is their basic state — trustable or not trustable?

Bravo Trustable but not reliable. He looks out for number one, until he realizes Lilith needs his help and she warms his heart to trust her. His trust of her changes when she hunts him in the jungle.

Carlos Trustable and not trustable, he seems to trustable paying for this vacation for his client, then becomes a threat and un-trustable when he looks to kill his client. When the end is near he becomes trustable by saving his client Bravo from Magdalena. Possibly his blood is diseased and Lilith is sickened.

Magdalena Not Trustable. In the beginning she’s trustable because she leads them through the dangerous jungle and she becomes un-trustable when she leaves them alone and sets them up to feed her daughter.

Lilith not trustable. In the beginning she’s trustable because she’s weak and sick. She becomes un-trustable when she feeds and wants more.

3. With each character relationship, brainstorm how trust or distrust might show up between them.

Hero / Villain:Bravo trusts Magdalena because she kills a snake that is about to strike him. He doesn’t trust her because she leaves them alone in the jungle to fend for themselves. He gains trust in her when she explains that they were gone whence came back. His trust goes away when she traps them in the cave.

Hero / Red Herring Character:Bravo trusts Carlos from years of him doing his bidding. He loses trust when Carlos he suspects Carlos trying to kill him in the jungle but trusts him again when he helps Bravo escape.

Hero / Trusted, but shouldn’t be:Lilith appears to be innocent and her mother appears to be crazed, but Lilith can’t control her urges and shouldn’t be trusted.

Hero / Isn’t trusted, but should be: Carlos endangers Bravo through out the jungle and he in the end can’t go through with it. He actually loves our Hero like a brother.

• This reply was modified 10 months, 1 week ago by  Matteo Ribaudo.

[Matteo Ribaudo]

Twist and a Turns Day 9
Twists are easier when you have a map!

TWIST 1:
Direction: A pregnant woman exits a crocodile infested waters to a tent without concern.
Twist:Safely in her tent she ins attacked by soldiers.
TWIST 2:
Direction: They kill her husband and feed him to crocodiles. They drag her inside and try to rape her.
Twist: She kill them and comes out covered in blood.

Twist 3:
Direction: She screams sadness.
Twist: She dives into the river with the crocodiles.

Twist 4:
Direction: Our hero and his longtime sports agent arrive at Jungle expedition.
Twist: Our Hero doesn’t want to go.

Twist 5:
Direction: The agent talks him into going.
Twist: Weather prevents them from going.

Twist 6:
Direction: The go to leave for the hotel.
Twist: A strange woman takes them on the expedition despite the weather report..

Twist 7:
Direction: They hike the jungle and it’s beautiful.
Twist: Their guide gets them lost and they have to camp the night.

Twist 8:
Direction: Something stalks them in the darkness.
Twist: Its a cute animal that comes into sight.

Twist 9:
Direction: In the morning they go to hike home.
Twist: The guide has left them alone.

Twist 10:
Direction: The hero tries to find their way out.
Twist: The agent plans to kill him with his gun.

Twist 11:
Direction: The agent plans to kill the hero.
Twist: He tosses his gun down the cliff.

MIDPOINT:

Twist 12:
Direction: They need water and drink rain water from the leaves.
Twist: They become sick and need to find help.

Twist 12.2
Direction: They find a sign for and aid station and come to a cave system.
Twist: Magdalena is waiting for them.

Twist 13:
Direction: Hero is glad to see Magdalena after she explains she went to go to get water and when she returned they were gone.
Twist: Magdalena is leading them into a trap set in the cave.

Twist 14:
Direction: Magdalena leads them into the cave system to get a radio or something to help the Hero.
Twist: She leads them to her blood thirsty vampire daughter Lilith.

Twist 15:
Direction: Lilith looks harmless and friendly.
Twist: She’s blood thirsty and waits to feed.

Twist 16:
Direction: The agent and Hero get tied up and have to escape.
Twist: The agent confesses his plans to kill them both.

Twist 17:
Direction: The mother brings men to her daughter to feed.
Twist: The daughter hates her mother for not letting her out in the real world to hunt her prey.

Twist 18:
Direction: Magdalena transfuses blood from the agent to make it last longer.
Twist: Lilith smashes the blood supply after she feeds and doesn’t feel like his blood is helping.

Twist 19:
Direction: Our hero decides to befriend the vampire to escape Magdalena before his blood is gone.
Twist: Lilith helps the hero escape.
Twist 20:
Direction: The hero and Lilith escape Magdalena.
Twist: Lilith just wants to hunt the hero in the open jungle.

Twist 21:
Direction: Lilith is about to eat the hero.
Twist:Magdalena saves the hero.

Twist 22:
Direction:The hero and Magdalena now must fend off Lilith’s rage and cross the crocodile infested waters.
Twist: The hero sees Magdalena for what she is shapeshifter crocodile.

Twist 23:
Direction: The hero and Magdalena want to trap Lilith back in the cave.
Twist: Lilith traps them in the cave.

Twist 24:
Direction: Magdalena tricks her daughter into forgiving her.
Twist: Magdalena punishes her for not listening to her.

Twist 25:
Direction: Magdalena ties the hero up to feed Lilith and drain him dry.
Twist: Lilith wont feed.

Twist 26:
Direction: Lilith pleads for his life.
Twist: Magdalena agrees.

Twist 27:
Direction: Magdalena says she wont kill him.
Twist: Lilith makes him into a vampire.

Twist 28:
Direction: Our hero’s now a vampire.
Twist: He lures new people into the jungle

• This reply was modified 10 months, 1 week ago by  Matteo Ribaudo.

[Matteo Ribaudo]

Day 8 : Intertwine Your Three Sequences to Create Plot

Cold Opening
In a near by river a newly pregnant woman’s bare legs walk out of the water. She comes to a tent and goes inside. Inside lies a man. She lays down with him.

Life threatening event:
Suddenly Guerrilla soldiers invade their tent and drag the man out. They knock her down causing a facial scar. They beat him to almost death. His wife pleads for mercy. They drag her inside and try and rape her. The man’s body is tossed into the lake and crocodiles devour him. The soldiers inside get killed by the woman. She comes out covered ins blood. She stands by the river and weeps her lost love. She dives in the water.

Mystery: Who is this woman and how did she fight the soldiers off?
Mystery 2: Why would she dive into the water with the crocodiles?
Intrigue: There is something not normal about this woman but what?
Suspense: Will she survive the Crocodile infested waters?

Hero OPENING: Our hero and his longtime sports agent arrive at Jungle expedition. He’s hungover and doesn’t want to go. The sports agent tries to convince and then the expedition is cancelled due to incremental weather.

Mystery1: How is this conceded sports legend our hero?
Mystery 2: Why is his agent so hell bent on going into the jungle?

Life Threatening situation: Mudslides, flooding, treacherous terrain awaits them if they go in the jungle.

INCITING INCIDENT: A woman tells them she can take them into the jungle and the weather will be fine.

Mystery: Who is this strange woman that tells them it’s safe to go into the jungle,
Intrigue: The agent wants to still go even though he’s less adventurous and physically capable and despite all the other tour guides not going in, he eggs on our Hero to go.

Suspense: What will happen when the go into the jungle.

TURNING POINT 1: The hero and his agent are left alone in the jungle and have no way out. They realize they cant get out alive without a guide.

Life threatening situations: There’s many predators that are in the jungle that can kill our hero. Snakes and pumas, and deadly spiders are everywhere in the jungle.

Mystery: Why does Magdalena eat a snake raw.
Intrigue: Why does her cold blood need warmth from the fire?

Mystery: Something stalks them at night.
Mystery: What lurks in the shadows.
Suspense: The predator moves closer to strike.
Intrigue: Where did Magdalena go?

Life Threatening :Lost in the jungle without water, the danger of hydration and potential death.

Intrigue: Why is the agent okay with being lost in the jungle? Mystery: Why does Agent keep putting them in dangerous circumstances? Cliff diving and climbing sketching rocks.
Intrigue: Does the agent have a death wish for our hero?
Suspense:Will he survive this trip?

MIDPOINT: Magdalena returns and leads them to a cavern for safety. Our hero is glad to see our true villain.
Intrigue: Where did Magdalena go and why did she come back?
Mystery: What’s in the cave?

Mystery: A maze in the cavern leads them to Lilith’s chamber where she waits to feed.
Mystery: Who is Lilith and why is she so pale?
Intrigue: Why does Lilith not go out in the daytime?

Suspense: Will they see sunlight ever again.

Intrigue: The mother and daughter argue a lot. She wants to get out and see the world but its not safe.

Mystery: Why does Magdalena and Lilith go swimming at night with the crocodiles?

TURNING POINT 2:
Villain’s plan: Magdalena hold them hostage to drain their blood. The mother uses a rusty IV to transfuse blood from their arms to feed Lilith.
Mystery: Is Lilith a vampire?
Intrigue: Our hero tries take Lilith under his wing and pin her against her mother.

Suspense: As the agent’s blood is almost gone and she plans a grand feast of the hero, but the daughter has second thoughts as she feels a connection to our hero as a father figure.
Life threatening events: The agent dead body is tossed in the river

Hero’s false hope is dangerous as Lilith will need to feed again.

CLIMAX:
Villain’s plan: The mother decides to kill the hero because he is getting too close to her daughter. The hero and Lilith escape the mother as she falls to her death.

RESOLUTION: Our hero takes on a father’s role and replaces Magdalena’s for getting Lilith food. The hero is forced to deal with Lilith’s hunger now.

• This reply was modified 10 months, 2 weeks ago by  Matteo Ribaudo.

[Matteo Ribaudo]

Day 7 Life Threatening Sequence

“What I learned is once the mystery, the secrets , and cover ups are realized, the dangerous action or consequences are easier to plot out and there’s plenty of material to throw in front of our hero.”

What is the Villain’s plan and how does that put the Hero in danger?

Our villain's plan to feed her daughter fresh blood to survive her condition, puts our hero in danger by leading him into the fierce Jungle so he gets lost. As things in the jungle may kill him, he’s actually protected by our villain, or she would lose her daughters fuel source.

What other potential dangers could your Hero experience as they try to solve the mystery and confront the Villain?

His best friend also wants to see him falter. HE has a vendetta that unfolds as he eggs the hero on to dangerous activities so he can get physically hurt. He tells him to jump off a cliff into crocodile infested water. He dares him to climb a steep terrain. Eat a scorpion. He eats a euphoric toad’s legs for dinner.

Other dangers:
Lost in the jungle without water, the danger of hydration and potential death.

Snakes and pumas, and deadly spiders are everywhere in the jungle and the dark cavern.

A maze in the cavern leads them to Lilith’s chamber where she waits to feed.

The mother uses a rusty IV to transfuse blood from their arms to feed Lilith.

The mother decides to kill the best friend as he’s drained dry of blood, which means our hero is next.

The daughter is planning a grand feast of the hero but may have second thoughts as she feels a connection to our hero. His false hope is dangerous as Lilith will need to feed again.

The mother decides to kill the hero because he is getting too close to her daughter.

The hero escapes the mother as she falls to her death. The hero is forced to deal with Lilith’s hunger now.

These dangers I think could be developed more but I think it's a good outline. Doing some RD on jungle and its habitat will help develop this in more detail.

• This reply was modified 10 months, 3 weeks ago by  Matteo Ribaudo.

[Matteo Ribaudo]

Day 6 Crafting Your Mystery Sequence

“What I learned is that having a well thought secret can broaden your scope of misleads and cover ups to keep the audience guessing.

What is the big secret that the Villain is covering up?
Magdalena is feeding her daughter blood from bad men so her daughter doesn’t get caught being a vampire.

The first mystery is why is our hero’s best friend trusting this woman(Magdalena) to lead them into the jungle when all the other guides say its not safe to go.

The second mystery is why is this woman talking about her dead daughter like she’s still alive.

RED Herring:
Why is the hero being lead to do dangerous activities when his best friend who knows he’s got a bad knee and hates snakes and bugs.

Red Herring:
Is our hero’s best friend trying to kill him after finding out he has motive after years of verbal abuse from our hero.

Why would Magdalena leave them lost in the jungle at night?

What is lurking in the jungle at night and stalking them?

Why does his best friend lead him to the cave where Magdalena is waiting for them?

Who is the girl named Lilith in the cave if Magdalena’s daughter is dead?

What is the strange fanged mouth piece on the mantle for?

What is Lilith’s health condition as she looks ill and has a reversion to sunlight?

What condition does lilith have that skips a generation?

What happened to our hero’s best friend as he has gone missing? And why is Lilith now feeling better?

How can our hero escape Magdalena deep in the jungle with no sense of where to run? The jungle can kill him if he leaves and his life is in danger if he stays.

What sacrifice must our hero make to save Lilith at the end?

• This reply was modified 10 months, 3 weeks ago by  Matteo Ribaudo.

[Matteo Ribaudo]

Day 5
Villain’s Plan
It was helpful to come from the villain’s point of you and have the hero navigate the villain’s journey. Also reverse engineering in the beginning helped lay out a good sequence of events.

Magdalen the villain’s plan

What is the end goal? Magdalena wants to drain her victims dry of blood to feed her vampire daughter.

How can the Villain accomplish that in a devious way? She takes them on a tour into the jungle and leads them to her cave to drain their blood.

How can they cover it up? She covers her tracks by leaving her victims lost in a cave where they shouldn’t go and they authorities find them ravaged by the bats that inhabit the cave.

Sequence it to make it as intriguing as possible.

Magdalena takes two men into the jungle after their tour has been cancelled due to weather.
She leads them deep into the jungle and they now rely on her to get out of the jungle.
Halfway through the journey the group spend the night. Magdalena gains their confidence when she kills a snake that crawls on our hero’s sports agent.
At the waterfall our hero gets his ankle caught jumping into the water. She dives in and releases his ankle and rescues him.

She leads them into the forbidden cave and warns them its dangerous without a guide, many people die in the cave.

In the cave she separates them by getting them lost.

Deep in the cave system is our villain’s den where her daughter lives. Magdalena knocks out her victims and attaches a transfusion device to refill her blood storage for her daughter to feed.

Twist Ending: A hero escapes Magdalena, but her daughter’s thirst for blood is too much to control her hunger and she dispatches our hero when he’s about to escape the cave. She turns him into a vampire and he is now forced to get victims for himself in the resolution.

[Matteo Ribaudo]

Chunky paragraph problem. Not really sure how to keep the formatting and margins.

[Matteo Ribaudo]

Matteo’s World and Characters for Sangre
Day 3
What I learned: I learned to be clear on who my Red Herring and Villain are. Making sure they’re indistinguishable, but that they have different agendas, and that our villain is the worse of the two evils.

1. Remind us of your CONCEPT and the Big M.I.S. of your story.
Concept is a Soccer legend fends for his life in the jungles of Colombia.

Big Mystery: What purpose does this aging soccer legend have in life now that soccer is over and who is trying to kill him and who will succeed.
Big Intrigue: Why does a mother of a young girl who needs blood to survive, using men to feed her.
Big Suspense: The jungle and all it’s dangers, a vengeful manager, and the mother all prey upon our hero, but his worst nightmare is the mysterious girl hungry for blood.

2. Tell us the Intriguing World you have selected for this story.
A vast jungle with no help in sight and a cottage residing in the middle of nowhere.

3. With your top 2 or 3 characters, tell us the role they play and then answer these three questions:

Hero Bravo the legend
A. What is the mystery of this character? He’s an arrogant unlikely selfish hero that rises to the occasion when he learns humility.
B. What is the suspense of this character? He’s left helpless when he gets injured and has to use his wits instead of his advance physical nature.
C. What is the intrigue of this character? He has to figure out how to survive the jungle as well as how to fend off a vampire.

Villain Magdalena the Mother
A. What is the mystery of this character? A strange woman in the middle of the jungle that will stop at nothing to feed her vampire daughter.
B. What is the suspense of this character? She’s a ex nurse of the guerrilla army and looks like she’s helping, but really she’s leading them to their demise.
C. What is the intrigue of this character? She lures men into the jungle to her cottage and bleeds them dry until they’re empty.

Red Hearing Carlos the Manager
A. What is the mystery of this character? A submissive man who wants to see our hero get what’s coming to him.
B. What is the suspense of this character? He schemes to take revenge from years of psychological abuse from his boss Bravo the legend.
C. What is the intrigue of this character? Will he go through with killing our hero or does he fall prey to Magdalena first.

[Matteo Ribaudo]

“Sangre”

What I learned doing this assignment is that being specific can help clarify the story you’re trying to tell.
Logline 1:
A retired soccer star has to survive the darkness of his past and the evil that lurks in the jungle.
Logline 2:
A degenerate soccer legend and his longtime sports agent struggle to survive the jungles of Colombia and the monster that awaits them.

1. What are the conventions of your story?
Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: A pompous soccer legend who has been pampered his whole career has to fend off his manager trying to kill him and a mother who will do anything to feed her daughter.
Dangerous Villain: Manager, the Mother’s love for her daughter’s survival.
High stakes:Everything in the jungle can kill you, even the things you don’t expect.
Life and death situations: Survive jungle life, falling off a cliff, bugs, snakes, pumas, alligators, and the unknown.
This story is thrilling because?
One man needs to survive after beings attacked by everything.
2. Tell us the Big M.I.S. of your story?
Big Mystery: What is the main mystery of your story that will keep us wondering throughout the story? What purpose does this aging legend have in life now that soccer is over and who is trying to kill him and which will succeed.
Big Intrigue: What is the covert, clandestine, underhanded plot that will live under the surface for most of the movie?Why does the young girl need blood to survive.
Big Suspense: What is the main danger to your Hero that will continue to escalate throughout the script? The jungle, the manager, and the mother all prey upon our hero, but his worst nightmare is the mysterious girl hungry for blood, oh and there’s a twist of the reptilian kind.

[Matteo Ribaudo]

Hey gang! Nice to meet you. I am a writer/director/ producer in Los Angeles. I have written many screenplays and I'm starting my first novel. Some of my scripts have been made into features, some of them are crap, some amazing, and some need a little love. I have taken Hal's horror course in the past and I thought since I write thrillers, that this class would be good to refresh and dial in a new screenplay. Once you stop learning you're doomed in the creative world.
An odd fact? hmm. I fall asleep when I try and read books. Like narcolepsy, lol. When I'm rereading my stuff Im awake and ready to go! My grammar is complete crap, but I can tell a story.

To riff off the thread, I only like green olives if they're buttery or in a martini glass.
Hope everyone has a great experience!
Matteo

• This reply was modified 11 months ago by  Matteo Ribaudo.

[Matteo Ribaudo]

Matteo Ribaudo “I agree to the terms of this release form.”

GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Matteo Ribaudo]

Hey where do you we write critique?

[Matteo Ribaudo]

This is quite elaborate, kudos to you being so thorough!

[Matteo Ribaudo]

Sounds interesting, familiar, and marketable. Kinda Manchurian Candidate meets Manson.

[Matteo Ribaudo]

Thanks Chris! It’s a great conflict for the audience to witness and pose the question, what would you do for your child?

[Matteo Ribaudo]

I’m producing a docu series on Psychics, and if you need RD I can connect with real people with the gift.

[Matteo Ribaudo]

Sounds fun!