Margaret Riseley
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Margaret’s 4-act structure
What I learned is to not get bogged down in details that at this stage are still forming and fluid.
Concept: A reluctant thief gets trapped on a boat with his victim on a suicide mission.
Main Conflict: The victim’s so-called ex-lover wants them both dead.
Act 1
Opening: Sam is released from prison, finds his pre-op transsexual sister Storm waiting in a car she stole and makes her return it.
Inciting incident: Anton will drop the charges and give Storm a job if Sam can get close to Anton’s ex-girlfriend Molly and steal back his laptop that she stole from him.
Turning Point: Sam waits on Anton’s boat with the laptop as arranged, falls asleep and wakes up heading out to sea with Molly.
Act 2
New plan: Sam tries to get Molly to turn around, she tries to dump him at sea.
Plan in action: He gives her back the laptop, turns on the charm, learns she’s deep in debt and trouble and on a suicide mission, he thinks he’s talked her out of it.
Turning point/Midpoint: It’s Molly’s boat not Anton’s, there’s a bomb on board and she didn’t plant it.
Act 3
Rethink everything: Sam defuses the bomb. Molly knows why Anton (not her ex-lover) wants her dead and the laptop destroyed but she refuses to tell Sam, and going to the cops would put her in prison.
New plan: Let the boat blow up so Anton thinks he succeeded, return to shore in the tender and get Storm away from Anton but without cops to protect Molly.
Turning point 3
Sam gets an SOS from Storm. Anton is a human trafficker and he’s sending her to Iraq tonight.
Act 4
Final plan: Rescue Storm, keep Anton away from Molly and the laptop.
Climax: (to be properly worked out) Sam breaks into Anton’s secret lair, it’s empty. He charges into Anton’s home, showdown, he shoots and kills Anton. Molly tells the cops she killed him in self-defence and where to find the girls and boys destined for Iraq.
Resolution: Storm is saved, Molly gets a light sentence, Sam visits her in prison with good news from the laptop about recouping her losses.
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Margaret’s Character Journeys!
What I learned – I’m playing catch up during a quick break on a paid writing assignment, and my answers to this lesson include the greater development I found while doing the next lesson, so I guessed what I learned is just how integrated and well-designed these lessons are, and how important it is to keep going with them.
SAM
Beginning: Sam begs Anton for mercy for his sister Storm after she steals his car, Anton will let her go and won’t press charges if Sam does a job for him, sneak into Anton’s ex-partner’s home office and get a laptop the ex-partner stole from him.
Turning point: Sam waits with the laptop for Anton on his boat, and wakes up out at sea with Molly.
Midpoint: Sam finds a bomb on board, it’s Molly’s boat and she didn’t set that bomb.
Turning Point 2: Sam learns Anton is a human trafficker and Molly knows stuff that could ruin him.
Dilemma: Saving Molly puts Storm at risk, exposing Anton puts Molly at risk of going to prison and leaving her son destitute.
3<sup>rd</sup> Act Climax: Sam and Molly confront Anton and rescue Storm.
End: They trash Anton’s operations., Molly gets immunity by agreeing to testify, and collects insurance on her boat.
MOLLY
Beginning: Molly discovers her imprisoned ex-husband used her to arrange some dodgy deals, she’s bankrupt and desperate and decides to end it so her son can get the insurance.
Turning Point: Molly finds Sam on board with her ex’s laptop and wants to get rid of him because he’ll know it’s suicide.
Midpoint: Sam finds a bomb on board and Molly realises Anton wants her dead.
Turning Point 2: Molly discovers on the laptop that her ex’s business with Anton was human trafficking, and she knows stuff that could ruin Anton.
Dilemma: Exposing Anton could put her in prison.
3<sup>rd</sup> Act Climax: Molly helps Sam rescue Storm from Anton.
End: They trash Anton’s operations., Molly gets immunity by agreeing to testify, and collects insurance on her boat.
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Margaret’s Character Depth!
Lesson 4
What I learned – I have a tendency to follow tangents and over-complicate plots, this exercise allowed me to see when I was doing that and pare it back to concentrate on the most important things for the two main characters. I also used the Enneagram of Personality and matched their wounds, motivations and fears to their personality types.
Sam
Motivation – get his sister off the hook
Secret – the ledger he steals could save Jessie and ruin Anton
Wound – blames himself for abandoning his sister when she needed him
Fear – being worthless
Layers – secretly resents his sister for not taking his help, needs to prove himself to Anton
Dilemma – saving Jessie would hurt him and his sister, not saving Jessie would still hurt him and his sister
Intrigue – what’s in the ledger?
Jessie
Motivation – insurance money to pay off her debts
Secret – dodgy deals that could put her in prison
Wound – abandoned by her husband
Fear – loss and separation
Hidden agenda – she’s not coming back
Dilemma – expose Anton and go to jail or abandon her son but provide for him
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Margaret’s Right Characters!
<font face=”inherit”>What I learned – how useful it is to work specifically from the hook to find the right characters.</font>
<font face=”inherit”>What makes these characters the right ones for this story? Everything about him challenges her beliefs and the decisions she’s made, and everything about her and the situation she’s put them in challenges his wound and what he’s become because of it.</font>
<font face=”inherit”> </font>
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Margaret’s Great Hook!
How did this process work for me?
At first I resisted doing it because I’d already chosen the concept I want to work with and had applied a similar brainstorming technique to it, but doing the process definitely threw up some more interesting elements for the other four, and with my chosen one it presented more possible layers of intrigue.
What did I learn?
To be more open and not cling to preconceived ideas.
Components:
A.
Thief and workaholic
Fugitive and cleaner
Conman and owner’s PA
Street kid and owner’s daughter
Debtor and joyrider
Stowaway and cop
B:
Boat
Plane
Car
Hot air balloon
Train
Ski lift
C:
Insurance fraud
Suicide
Bomb
Pirates
Drug runners
Storm
D:
Common enemy
Debts
Deadline
Dare
Mob
Sting
IRS
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Part 1
Ideas 1-4 can be done as a contained story, with a pitch in one or two sentences but 1 and 4 feel like they could have been done before. Idea 2 is based on an amazing true story but could require too much crew, and idea 3 doesn’t really excite me after coming back to it.
Idea 5 hits the mark on all fronts.
Part 2
PHONE BOOTH
AS THEY DID IT:
A. PEOPLE – a lot of actors plus bit parts and huge number of extras
B. STUNTS – fight with pimp, pimp down, Stu shot
C. EXTRAS – street performers, cops, EMTs, media, pedestrians, onlookers etc
D. WARDROBE – plainclothes outfits for lead and secondary characters, uniforms for emergency responders
E. HAIR AND MAKEUP – wife, girlfriend, office workers, hookers, pimp, cops etc etc
F. KIDS AND ANIMALS – none
G. QUARANTINE – large amount of actors and extras
COVID VERSION:
A. PEOPLE – have just one ultra-persistent hooker and her pimp, live feed to wife, girlfriend and public, limited cop response (big emergency elsewhere?)
B. STUNTS – fine as is
C. EXTRAS – cut the number of emergency responders, media and onlookers
D. WARDROBE – reduce by cutting extras
E. HAIR AND MAKEUP – reduce by cutting extras
F. KIDS AND ANIMALS – none
G. QUARANTINE – set up character via Zoom etc, reduce number of secondary characters and bit parts, change location to smaller town
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Hi Cheryl and everyone,
It’s nice to be back. I’m Margaret Riseley, a PS21 and MSC4 grad, have lost count of how many scripts I’ve written, feature, short and TV, my own and on assignment. This promises to be a great course so I want to get the most out of it and come up with a great low budget, high concept, very marketable and “easy” to shoot project.
Not exactly unique but exciting news I haven’t shared elsewhere, I’ve been asked by a local Aussie production company with LA and UK offices to join a writers’ room, just waiting for the COVID cobwebs to blow away and get started.
Looking forward to meeting anyone I don’t know yet.
Cheers,
Margaret