[Marilynne Hebert]

1. A sunny hello from Marilynne Hebert, joining you from snowy Alberta, Canada – the perfect setting for a Christmas movie!

2. I have written about 8 scripts and pitched some in Los Angeles. My best one was optioned but sadly did not get to production.

3. I want to more quickly recognize why scenes are great and model mine in that direction.

4. My career has been in health, healthcare and technology, most recently as a university professor in graduate studies. I love science fiction that stands on the edge of reality – so you are not sure whether you should believe it or not! I am excited about this one I have just started.

• This reply was modified 4 months, 3 weeks ago by  Marilynne Hebert.

[Marilynne Hebert]

Marilynne A. Hebert
I agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Marilynne Hebert]

Marilynne’s Delivers Insights Through Conflict

What I learned doing this assignment is…I kept coming back to arguing as the form of conflict rather than exploring the whole range of conflict types.

Old Way – New Way/Insight – Conflict

1. OW-Chloe makes life decisions based on other people’s expectations

NW-Other people make decisions in her life only if she lets them. She is capable of making her own deliberate, conscious choices.

Conflict uncovers an emotional issue – Chloe has a weekly Zoom call with her family (mother, father, younger brother, older sister). It starts off as a regular update, everyone chatting. Then someone asks when she will be back. There is a pause, then Chloe says she thinks she will stay for a while. The immediate response is no, her place is at home. Then everyone is talking, arguing at the same. Chloe raises her hand to get everyone’s attention. When the noise dies down, she declares she’s not thinking about it, she has decided to stay another year. End of discussion.

2. OW-Feels nothing measures up to her expectations of “what might have been”

NW-Makes the most of opportunities that are all around her to work with others and change people’s lives for the better. This is her purpose.

Conflict uncovers loss. Chloe often bemoans the fact that her life could have been great, should have been great. Finally, Rose Marie has had enough. She confronts Choe directly with all the opportunities she has had, the ones that are right in front of her. Rose Marie understands this constant referral to “what could have been” is about loss and Chloe’s expectations not meeting reality.<s></s>

3. OW-Is irritable and impatient with the people she works with because they don’t solve problems as quickly or efficiently as she does.

NW-Other people’s opinions are as important as her own in problem solving. Takes time to listen to other people.

Conflict uncovers a misunderstanding – Chloe routinely argues with a woman named Amara who could almost be her twin, they are so alike. Amara is responsible for the community care program that looks after women and their newborn babies for a few days. Their programs could be and should be complementary. However, they are equally irritable and impatient with each other. Each day they exchange snide words and comments until one day a woman who is a patient needs help and they have to work together to help her. Working together helped them realize they each had valid problem-solving strategies.

4. OW-Chloe attempts to solve problems in her unsuccessful program as a solo effort

NW-She realizes the importance of including local expertise in program planning and marketing and starts to include experts in her planning

Conflict uncovers competition – Chloe presents her plan for advertising her local program for pregnant women. Eduardo strongly disagrees with her plan. He shows her data that demonstrates how successful his plan has been. She realizes the important contribution he could make and invites him to be a member of her team.

5. OW-Chloe believes in science, numbers and statistics

NW-She connects with the real women behind the numbers

Conflict uncovers arrogance. Chloe presents the program statistics – the number of pregnant women in the larger community, average age, number of births and deaths. As she works in the program, she gets to know many women in the community. When she begins to talk about “death rate as just a number” at a local meeting, several people start to argue with her. It’s not a death rate, it’s Luna and Imani and Makena and Sade. Chloe knew these women too and she recognizes there are real women behind the numbers.

[Marilynne Hebert]

Assignment 1: Marilynne’s Seabiscuit Analysis

What I learned doing this assignment is… even animals can have profound moments!

Profound Moments – what made them profound for me

During the Great Depression Red Pollard’s family was financially ruined, while Charles Howard continued to live in luxury. It’s partly this disparity that brings them together – a wealthy horse owner and a jockey. It’s profound because their lives interact in an unexpected way in the future.

Red loses the race and Charles realizes it was because Red couldn’t see. Profound moment to realize people may have secrets that explain why they behave a certain way.

Seabiscuit fights against the trainers trying to break him at the same time as Red is in a fist fight with three other guys. Seabiscuit’s trainer, Tom Smith, sees both horse and jockey, immediately realizing they are kindred spirits. It was a profound moment when he recognized these two combative characters would be a good team.

Assignment 2: Marilynne Turns Insights Into Action

What I learned doing this assignment is… I like the idea of representing insights with actions – it seems a more immediate and powerful way to connect with the audience

Old Ways/Insights/Action

· Chloe makes life decisions based on other people’s expectations/ Makes deliberate, conscious choices about what to do in her life/Chloe deliberately chooses to stay in Africa as Rosemarie leaves

· Feels nothing measures up to her expectations of “what might have been”/Appreciates opportunities to work with others to change people’s lives/She contributes to a new community program

· Is irritable and impatient with the people she works with/Takes time to listen to people around her/She stops to talk to an elderly woman and help her with her parcels

· Chloe attempts to solve problems in her unsuccessful program as a solo effort/She includes local expertise in program planning/Opening celebration for a new program

· Chloe believes in science, numbers and statistics/She connects with the real women behind the numbers/A mother follows all the new program rules and her baby dies, becoming one of those numbers

[Marilynne Hebert]

Marilynne’s Living Metaphors

What I learned doing this assignment is…I found it difficult to come up with “Living Metaphors” to the challenges and will continue to think about them as I press on to the next assignment

Old Way Should Work, But Doesn’t

1. Old way: Chloe is confident in her project plans and expects people to follow along

Challenge: Chloe meets an equally confident person who questions everything she suggests

Plays out in the story: At a community meeting Chloe describes how the program will roll-out, but is stopped at every turn by someone in the audience who strongly suggests she consider other possibilities

2. Old way: Chloe only considers health care treatments that have been proven with science

Challenge: People in the village successfully use locally made remedies that have been passed down for hundreds of years

Plays out in the story: Chloe witnesses the use of locally grown herbs to reduce a fever. She can’t find any published evidence for why the herbs should work, but they do.

3. Old way: Chloe controls her environment, including ordering supplies well in advance of when she will need them for a procedure.

Challenge: Supplies are not always readily available meaning flexibility and ingenuity are sometimes more important than having the planned for supplies at hand.

Plays out in the story: They run out of gauze to stop the bleeding during a procedure and one of the nurses quickly uses a small pillow that is handy.

4. Old way: Chloe typically ignores warnings about potential dangers in her life and is certain she can handle any experience

Challenge: Chloe goes on a week-end Safari in the Serengeti to celebrate the first successful phase of their project. She is warned to stay in the jeep at all times

Plays out in the story: Chloe convinces the driver to get out of the jeep and take her photo when they are parked beside an apparently empty pond, creating a near death defying experience with a hungry crocodile.

Living Metaphor Challenges (one thing represents another)

1. Old way: Chloe has been told her whole life how smart she is and sometimes her arrogance gets in the way of her being a decent human being

Living Metaphor Challenge: Intelligence, smartness, being clever is a “pass go card” for mean and hurtful behavior

Plays out in the story: A small group of 7-8 year old children play outside as Chloe waits to go into her classroom. She overhears their conversation about what being smart means. One child says something mean about another child’s scruffy clothing and is told to apologize. He replies that he is smarter than everyone there and can say whatever he likes. Then the fighting starts, and Chloe reluctantly steps in to break it up. She does her best to explain how you are born with smartness but you choose to behave with kindness.

2. Old way: Chloe lets other people strongly influence her decisions and life choices, then perpetually being unhappy with the results

Living Metaphor Challenge: Under the guise of being in her best interest, her family and friends strongly urge her to come home. Their concern is yet another way to control her life choices.

Plays out in the story: The position she was passed over for at the university has suddenly become available again because the person hired didn’t work out. Rosemarie suggests if Chloe goes along with what her family and old employer want, this scenario is another déjà vu where the past just keeps repeating itself.

[Marilynne Hebert]

Marilynne’s Old Ways: Challenges through Questioning and Counterexamples

What I learned doing this assignment… I recently watched the movie “A Man Called Otto” and new neighbor Marisol was a quintessential change agent – questioning Otto’s behavior and providing effective counterexamples. After this lesson they seemed easy to spot, but still found them a little harder to come up with for my story.

OW1: Chloe is used to being in charge and typically barrels ahead planning for a new project without other stakeholder input

Questioning: Rosemarie asks Chloe what she thinks will happen if she invited local stakeholders to a planning meeting

Counterexample through:

Experience – Chloe is invited to a planning session for a different program she is not involved with

Dialogue – a pregnant woman tells Chloe about how much she trusts her local nurse

OW2: Chloe feels her training and experience make her the “smartest one in the room” causing her to be arrogant and short-tempered with others

Counterexample through:

Character – a local woman with no formal training tells Chloe about how successful she has been with home deliveries

Experience – a local experienced African nurse is arrogant and short-tempered when Chloe isn’t aware of local knowledge

OW3: Chloe views her life through a filter of “what should have happened and her lifelong goal not being fulfilled” – not because of her choices.

Counterexample through:

Character – a local woman would like to continue her education and has no opportunities to do so

Dialogue – A member of the planning team invites several women leaders (including Chloe) to discuss their career choices and experiences with local women

OW4: Chloe sees education as the only solution for women moving forward in developing countries which blocks her ability to see other possible solutions

Questioning: Chloe is asked to comment on the progress of a local community development program.

Counterexample through:

Experience – she meets a strong community leader who has no formal education but is effective and commands respect

OW5: It’s everyone else’s fault she ended up in her current career and not her dream one

Counterexample through:

Dialogue – Chloe discusses her desire to stay in Africa with Rosemarie. She reminds Chloe of this prior to a SKYPE call with her family. During the conversation Chloe realizes she usually gives in and follows along with what they want her to do.

OW6: Chloe frequently compares her work environments: the great old one and challenging new one. She seems to be “stepping on someone’s toes” at every turn. People feel she is disrespectful – finding her both irritating and arrogant.

Questioning: Rosemarie observes an interaction between Chloe and a program supervisor. She asks Chloe if this happened in her old work environment and why she thought it was now happening in her new one.

Counterexample through:

Experience: Rosemarie helps Chloe build a partnership with a mentor who helps her fit in. She begins demonstrating respect and understanding that local partners appreciate.

[Marilynne Hebert]

Marilynne’s Old Ways Challenge Chart (Assignment 2)

What I learned doing this assignment… this exercise has been helpful to think specifically about how the changes will happen in my story (Chloe runs away to Africa…)

1. Habits

OW: Chloe is used to be in charge and usually barrels ahead planning for a new project without input from other stakeholders, which is exactly what she does for the new maternal-child project. This is despite not being as familiar with the environment and culture as others.

NW: Stakeholders in the maternal-child project are invited to have a say in developing the plans if they are expected to support them.

2. Assumptions

OW: Chloe feels her knowledge and experience make her the genuinely the most knowledgeable about maternal-child project planning; these assumptions make her arrogant and short-tempered with others who “don’t get” her thinking.

NW: She realizes other people have other equally important experiences in and knowledge of the African context which allows them to make suggestions about how to move forward if she wants their cooperation. Initially they do this privately through notes and private conversations rather than challenge her in public.

NW2: When Chloe realizes her way is not always the best she quietly observes and learns from other successful programs.

3. Filters of Perception

OW1: Chloe’s perception of where she is in life is always through a filter of “what should have happened, and her lifelong goal not being fulfilled” and not as a result of her choices

NW1: Chloe begins to make conscious choices about her life and where she wants to be – not where everyone else expects her to be

OW2: Chloe holds a strong belief that education is the answer for women and children in developing countries, particularly for them to move forward in their development and live better quality lives. This belief clouds her ability to see other possible solutions and leading her to often dismiss them as well as the people proposing them without consideration

NW2: Chloe develops new and exciting partnerships with people and agencies that she never considered before. They contribute in unexpected ways to her program development.

4. Beliefs

OW1: She has gone along with expectations of important people in her life: her father, her husband, her children, her boss, eg. does not make decisions that feel right to her, or take the career path she has always dreamed of

NW1: Chloe takes a hard look at what are the expectations in her own heart and begins to live by these, even if they don’t agree with what others want her to do, e.g. stays in Africa although everyone is imploring her to come home

OW2: she was raised in a community that believed in a Christian faith and was expected to continue in this path without question, which she has done most of her life. She is dissatisfied with something in her life and feels the need to explore alternative faiths

NW2: Rosemarie’s gentle demeanor and Buddhist faith inspires her to not only want to find out more but be open to new ideas.

5. Social Values

OW: Chloe holds some strong social values around treating people with respect and creating equality in her work and social circles. She finds not everyone believes these values are important in the same ways or they have different ways of demonstrating their values. She gets frustrated and tries to change people’s minds by telling them what the “right” values are. This is never a successful strategy.

NW: Even though she recognizes her old ways don’t work, Chloe struggles to change – to stop calling people out for their behavior that doesn’t fit her social values. Her new ways are a work in progress as she tries to be more patient and tolerant in her circumstances and spend more time listening and understanding rather than lecturing. Some of the kindergarten students that she works with part-time give her with some guidance.

6. Rules, etc. for your story – Natural and Artificial Hierarchies

OW: Chloe is used to working in a hierarchical structure and understood her place in the scheme of things. She is at a total loss in her new environment and seems to be “stepping on someone’s toes” at every turn. Some people find her seeming disrespect for “their system” irritating and unacceptable.

NW: Rosemarie helps Chloe build a partnership with a mentor who helps her fit in. She begins demonstrating respect and understanding that local partners appreciate.

[Marilynne Hebert]

Marilynne’s 12 Angry Men Analysis

What I learned doing this assignment is I appreciated having “on the nose” examples that were relatively easy to identify and helpful to understand the old and new ways together.

Asignment – Old Ways (OW): Challenged by New Ways

OW prejudice

NO. 10: It’s tough to figure, isn’t it? A kid kills his father. Bing! Just like that. Well, it’s the element. They let the kids run wild. Maybe it serves ‘em right

NO. 10: You’re not going to tell us that we’re supposed to believe him, knowing what he is. I’ve lived among ’em all my life. You can’t believe a word they say. You know that.

Challenged by NO. 9: (to NO. 10 very slowly). I don’t know that. What a terrible thing for a man to believe!Since when is dishonesty a group characteristic? You have no monopoly on the truth.

NO.7: Look at the kid’s record. At fifteen he was in reform school. He stole a car. He’s been arrested for mugging. He was picked up for knife-fighting. I think they said he stabbed somebody in the arm. This is a very fine boy.

Challenged by NO. 8: Ever since he was five years old his father beat him up regularly. He used his fists.

NO. 4: This boy—let’s say he’s a product of a filthy neighborhood and a broken home. We can’t help that.We’re not here to go into the reasons why slums are breeding grounds for criminals. They are. I know it. So do you. The children who come out of slum backgrounds are potential menaces to society.

NO. 10: You said it there. I don’t want any part of them, believe me.

Challenged by NO. 5: I’ve lived in a slum all my life…. I used to play in a back yard that was filled withgarbage. Maybe it still smells on me.

Challenged by NO. 8: Well let me ask you this. Do you really think the boy would shout out a thing like thatso the whole neighborhood would hear it? I don’t think so. He’s much too bright for that.

NO. 10: (exploding). Bright! He’s a common, ignorant slob. He don’t even speak good English!

NO. 11: (slowly). He doesn’t even speak good English.

OW: Assumption of guilt

NO. 3: I never saw a guiltier man in my life. You sat right in court and heard the same thing I did. The man’s a dangerous killer. You could see it.

NO.10: (wisely). Well, look, you’ve gotta expect that [evidence about losing the knife]. You know what you’redealing with.

NO.7: Let’s vote now. Who knows, maybe we can all go home.

NO. 3: (sarcastically) Somebody’s in left field. (To NO. 8) You think he’s not guilty?

NO. 7: What, just because I voted fast? I think the guy’s guilty. You couldn’t change my mind if you talked for a hundred years.

Challenged by NO. 8: I don’t want to change your mind. I just want to talk for a while. Look, this boy’s been kicked around all his life. You know, living in a slum, his mother dead since he was nine. That’s not a very goodhead start. He’s a tough, angry kid. You know why slum kids get that way? Because we knock ’em on the head once a day, every day. I think maybe we owe him a few words. That’s all.

OW: Just want this over

NO. 7: Just a minute. Some of us have got better things to do than sit around a jury room.

Challenged by NO. x: you have something more important to do (like go to a baseball game) than this fundamental duty in a democratic society

OW: Assuming the evidence is not questionable

NO. 7: How did you like that business about the knife? Did you ever hear a phonier story? Right. This better be fast.’ I’ve got tickets to the ballgame.

NO. 3: That’s old enough. He knifed his own father, four inches into the chest. An innocent little nineteen-year-old kid. They proved it a dozen different ways. Do you want me to list them?

Challenged by NO. 8: No.

NO. 10: (to NO. 8). Well, do you believe his story?

NO. 8: I don’t know whether I believe it or not. Maybe I don’t.

NO. 8: There were eleven votes for guilty. It’s not so easy for me to raise my hand and send a boy off to die without talking about it first.

OW: Assuming the witnesses were accurate

NO.3: Okay, let’s get to the facts. Number one, let’s take the old man who lived on the second floor right underneath the room where the murder took place. At ten minutes after twelve on the night of the killing he heard loud noises in the upstairs apartment. He said it sounded like a fight. Then he heard the kid say to his father, “I’m gonna kill you.!” A second later he heard a body falling, and he ran to the door of his apartment, looked out, and saw the kid running down the stairs and out of the house. Then he called the police. They found the father with a knife in his chest.

Challenged by several jurors: noise of the train, couldn’t have heard the boy; time and distance to the front door and the speed the old man could travel

NO. 10: Look, what about the woman across the street? If her testimony don’t prove it, then nothing does.

Challenged by NO. 8: I’d like to ask you something. How come you believed her? She’s one of “them” too,isn’t she?

NO. 4: Next, the boy claims that on the way home the knife must have fallen through a hole in his coat pocket, that he never saw it again. Now there’s a story, gentlemen. You know what actually happened. The boy tookthe knife home and a few hours later stabbed his father with it and even remembered to wipe off the fingerprints.

NO. 4: Everyone connected with the case identified this knife. Now are you trying to tell me thatsomeone picked it up off the street and went up to the boy’s house and stabbed his father with it just to beamusing?

Challenged by NO. 8: No, I’m saying that it’s possible that the boy lost the knife and that someone elsestabbed his father with a similar knife. It’s possible.

NO. 3: You’re crazy. Why would he lie? What’s he got to gain?

NO. 9: Attention, maybe.

NO. 3: You keep coming up with these bright sayings. Why don’t you send one into a newspaper? They pay two dollars.

[NO. 8 looks hard at NO. 3 and then turns to NO. 9]

Challenged by NO. 8: (softly). Why might the old man have lied? You have a right to be heard.

NO. 9: It’s just that I looked at him for a very long time. The seam of his jacket was split under the arm. Did you notice that? He was a very old man with a torn jacket, and he carried two canes. I think I know him better than anyone here. This is a quiet, frightened, insignificant man who has been nothing all his life, who has never had recognition—his name in the newspapers. Nobody knows him after seventy-five years. That’s a very sad thing. A man like this needs to be recognized. To be questioned, and listened to, and quoted just once. This is very important.

OW: Assuming the Defense Attorney did his job

NO. 3 (annoyed): What about the ones that were asked? For instance, let’s talk about that cute littleswitchknife. You know, the one that fine, upright kid admitted buying

Challenged by NO. 8: All right. I had a peculiar feeling about this trial. Somehow I felt that the defensecounsel never really conducted a thorough cross-examination. I mean, he was appointed by the court todefend the boy. He hardly seemed interested. Too many questions were left unasked.

OW: Not caring

Overlap with some of the others already raised

OW: Assuming the case is completely logical

NO. x: assumes it would be easy to stab someone with the blade down

Challenged by NO. x: grew up in a neighborhood where a switchblade was common; demonstrates how unlikely this was; how the knife would have to be opened and held to stab a taller man in a downward thrust

NO. 4: The boy’s entire story is flimsy. He claimed he was at the movies. That’s a little ridiculous, isn’t it? He couldn’t even remember what pictures he saw.

Challenged by NO. 8: One of the other jurors couldn’t remember details about a movie he’d seen either, and wasn’t under the strain this boy was

OW: Not looking beneath the surface

Overlap with assumptions of guilt

[Marilynne Hebert]

Marilynne’s Profound Ending

What I learned doing this assignment is… working backwards from the profound truth and impact using the MMM helped me determine a path forward through the story

1. My Profound Truth: What you’re looking for is not out there. It is in you.

It will be delivered powerfully in my ending: Despite all the advice of family and friends to return home, Chloe decides to give up her old life and continue her work in Africa where she has found herself.

My lead characters come to an end in a way that represents the completed change:

Change Agent – Rosemarie – introduces Chloe to different life perspectives through-out the story, including meeting with another Buddhist nun and working on some community projects. She gently reminds Chloe to look for what she wants and needs within herself. It’s not something external – more education, the right career, surrounding herself by the “right” people. In the last scene she knows Chloe believes what she is looking for is within herself when she chooses to stay and continue with work she finds fulfilling.

Transformable Character – Chloe becomes aware that what is missing in her life, the thing she keeps searching can’t be found by choosing the “right” education or husband or career. She must find the piece that’s missing for her, that completes her in a way only she can define. In the end she has changed and recognizes this community work is where she needs to be. In the last scene she is surrounded by mothers and their newborns as she says good-bye to Rosemarie.

2. Setups/payoffs that complete in the end of this movie to give it deep meaning

MMM1 set-up – ordinary world; call to adventure – she leaves a life and career she is deeply unhappy with to work somewhere she has no experience.

Payoff – Chloe uses her feelings of uncertainty to relate to new recruits who are interested in joining the expanding maternal program.

MMM2 set-up – denial of the call; Chloe continues to experience doubts and anger about agreeing to take on this program; constantly checking her phone for updates until she discovers the internet isn’t reliable

Payoff – Chloe is no longer dependent on the latest news or her search for a better life “out there”

MMM3 set-up: first attempts to solve the problem are a solo effort where she uses her knowledge and many skills – but they don’t necessarily work in this culture.

Payoff – better understanding of the culture and includes local expertise, such as nurses, midwives, doctors and women from the community in the final program design

MMM4 set-up: Chloe develops a bigger plan that backfires. She goes so far as to order in equipment that staff don’t know how to use and isn’t compatible with local power sources.

Payoff – When Chloe attempts to expand the program she now knows what not to do in gaining local support.

MMM5 set-up: Plan created without changing – Chloe tries to run the “whole show” without input of other key players – she realizes she has to change.

Payoff – a number of African maternity doctors join the team.

MMM6 set-up: the ultimate group effort, including all possible interested parties; ultimate failure in a disorganized response to an emergency and a mother dies; Chloe recognizes her potentially biggest ally has been her biggest nemesis.

Payoff – to maintain an organized response to community needs, a small team of representatives becomes the core leadership, with others contributing on a rotating basis.

MMM7 set-up: Chloe invites her biggest nemesis to join the leadership team, he becomes her biggest ally and the program takes off.

Payoff: Chloe’s biggest ally convinces her of her value to the program and to the mothers – he and the others want her to stay.

MMM8 set-up: Another potential nemesis tries to take over the program, but Chloe and her biggest ally stop that idea in its tracks and continue to move forward to recruiting people for the expansion.

Payoff: Invitations go out world-wide for specialists to join the program

3. Inevitable ending: Chloe stays in Africa.

It is surprising when it happens because Chloe’s family and friends lobby hard for her to come home and she seems to be leaning that way.

4. Parting Image/Line that leaves us with the Profound Truth in our minds:

Chloe cuddles one of the newborns while the baby’s mother rests nearby. Rosemarie smiles as she leaves, and Chloe quietly says to her: “What I’ve been looking for was never out there. I’ve found it in my heart.”

[Marilynne Hebert]

Marilynne’s Connection with Audience

What I learned doing this assignment is… it crossed my mind that maybe I should think about reversing the transformational character and change agent, ie. Chloe is the Change Agent and Rosemarie is the transformational character. A decision for earlier in the day…

I’m INTENTIONALLY trying to create a connection with the audience for two characters using each of the four ways of connecting in the first 30 minutes of the movie.

Dr. Chloe – transformational character

A. Relatability

· When Dr. Chloe agrees to manage the new African project, she is anxious about the project’s success and afraid she may fail – be responsible for more women and babies dying.

B. Intrigue

· Everyone congratulates Dr. Chloe on her successful career and by extension a successful life. Why does she struggle with this not being what she wanted in life? How could she possibly not be happy with her success?

C. Empathy

· Dr. Chloe is passed over for promotion… again. She is frustrated by what seems to be a biased selection process.

D. Likability

· Dr. Chloe is a good teacher and treats her students fairly– in the classroom and with individuals in office meetings.

· Dr. Chloe contributes time and money to worthwhile causes in her community.

Rosemarie – change agent

A. Relatability

· Rosemarie’s wicked sense of humour is often a surprise, particularly as she comments on the absurdities of life, for example people arguing about the freshness of their croissants at an early planning meeting for the Africa project.

· Rosemarie expects the best from people and tries to draw out their strengths during counselling, such as a couple’s love for each other.

B. Intrigue

· Why did Rosemarie become a Buddhist nun now, at this stage of her life and career?

· What is Rosemarie’s real motivation for supporting the Africa project?

B. Empathy

· Rosemarie struggles to keep her composure when supporting new parents whose baby died shortly after birth.

· Rosemarie worries she won’t be able to contribute what the Africa project team needs from her.

C. Likability

· Rosemarie is likeable from the moment you meet her – charming and outgoing.

· Rosemarie has a megawatt smile that makes you want to smile right back!

[Marilynne Hebert]

Marilynne’s Transformational Structure

What I learned doing this assignment is… my story is coming together. I still have a difficult time not dwelling on details and editing!

Transformational Character: Dr. Chloe Black is a busy university professor whose area of expertise is maternal child health. She teaches and mentors many students as well as does research on programs for pre-natal care. From all outward appearances she is successful in her career, but lives a secret life of regrets.

Change Agent: Rosemarie (MeMe) Swenten – friend and colleague of Dr. Chloe – has many years experience as a home birth support nurse. She recently took her vows as a Buddhist nun and is now employed as a chaplain who provides counselling and support to new parents.

Transformational Journey / Logline: Unexpectedly Dr. Chloe leaves her position at the university to manage a new challenging health program in Africa, where she discovers the true meaning of her own life.

MMM STRUCTURE: MM #1 – Pages 1 – 15 – Our hero’s status quo, her ordinary world, ends with an inciting incident or “call to adventure,” introducing the story’s main tension.

As a diligent university professor Chloe is busy teaching students and doing research. She feels trapped in her career and life and regrets some of her decisions along the way. She avoids finding out who she really is – her authentic self – keeping her brain on super drive by constantly checking her phone for the latest news, email, text and phone messages.

Her friend Rose Marie – a home birth support nurse – tries to help Chloe let go of her past and move on – maybe even help Rose Marie with a new project.

Turning Point: Call to Adventure: Chloe discovers she has been by-passed over for another key leadership position and doesn’t know which way to turn. Rose Marie convinces Chloe to take a leave of absence and join her in Africa managing a new project with pregnant women.

PROFOUND MODEL

EG – Excitement – Chloe is excited to embark on this project

AG – She travels to Africa and meets the doctors and health care workers she’ll be working with.

Challenge: The community is highly suspicious of her motives

Weakness: She projects an outward confidence that hides her deep insecurities and anger

MM #2 – Pages 15 – 30 – Our hero’s denial of the call, and her gradually being “locked into” the conflict brought on by this call.

Even though Chloe agreed to help with the project, all her doubts and anger continue to swirl relentlessly in her head. She constantly checks her phone and discovers the internet isn’t reliable. She feels like she’s stepped into one giant black hole without a safety net.

Chloe visits with a group of young pregnant women in the community and is taken aback at their fears they and their babies will still be at high risk of dying during childbirth.

Turning Point: Locked in: Chloe finally connects the statistics of deaths in childbirth with real people – her commitment to this mission becomes real

Emotional Gradient: Doubt

Action Gradient: Chloe visits pregnant women in the community and finds them skeptical of her abilities and particularly her lack of cultural awareness. <s></s>

Challenge: Success of their planned program seems uncertain and becoming more unlikely with each woman Chloe meets.

Weakness: Chloe aggressively pursues her goals but sometimes is unaware of culturally important details.

MM #3 – Pages 30 – 45 – Our hero’s first attempts to solve her problem, the first things that anyone with this problem would try, appealing to outside authority to help her. Ends when all these avenues are shut to our hero.

Chloe knows the program must change. She thought they could train local women to go out to rural communities and assess pregnant women before they were due. If they expected any complications, they would send the women to the birthing centre.

She appeals to the local midwives, who she has already alienated by not going to them initially to plan the program.

Turning Point: Standard ways fail – Her usual way of taking charge doesn’t work and Rose Marie continues to guide her to a place of letting the past go.

Emotional Gradient: Hope

Action Gradient: With the help of Rose Marie, Chloe begins to take specific steps to sort herself out. They engage with a local Buddhist nun and begin to find hope in local wisdom – both for the program and Chloe’s own life

Challenge: Chloe only believes in scientific evidence and has no faith in local practices and folklore

Weakness: Dismisses experiences of both the community and the women themselves.

MM #4 – Pages 45 — 60 – Our hero spawns a bigger plan. She prepares for it, gathers what materials and allies she may need, then puts the plan into action — only to have it go horribly wrong, usually due to certain vital information the hero lacked about the forces of antagonism allied against her.

Chloe plans for a bigger implementation – more communities and women participating.

Turning Point: Plan backfires. Rather than seeing an even greater success, Chloe finds more things go wrong – there are more emergency births, with more mothers and babies in danger of poor outcomes.

Emotional Gradient: Discouragement

Action Gradient: Chloe assists a woman who followed everything in the childbirth program she was supposed to, but the woman and her baby still die.

Challenge: No intervention or program will work 100% of the time.

Weakness: She is unprepared for when her grand program doesn’t work – mothers and babies still die.

MM #5 – Pages 60 — 75 – Having created her plan to solve her problem WITHOUT changing, our hero is confronted by her need to change, eyes now open to her own weaknesses, driven by the antagonist to change or die. She retreats to lick her wounds.

Chloe finally agrees she need local expertise to help her plan succeed.

Turning Point: The decision to change. When Chloe begins to listen to the local experts around her, she sees why her view of the situation has been wrong. She has to incorporate what’s worked in the past into the new strategies.

Emotional Gradient: Courage

Action Gradient: She goes on a safari where her resolve and courage are tested with a birth in a small remote village.

Challenge: Outside of her limited circle of co-workers, Chloe is a lone voice in a large community.

Weakness: Chloe does not appreciate the value of bringing in local “informal” leaders to make a significant change in this community

MM #6– Pages 75 – 90 – Our hero spawns a new plan, but now she’s ready to change. She puts this plan into action…and is very nearly destroyed by it. And then…a revelation.

A small, but powerful group of doctors and community health workers actively resist any changes, even if they might make a significant difference to pregnant women. Turning Point: The ultimate failure. It seems this small and powerful group are succeeding in turning others against Chloe and her plan.

She has a revelation that changes everything. One local doctor developed the current care delivery system and considers it his legacy. He is “deeply offended” by any outsiders (and in particular Chloe because she is not a doctor) coming in, changing his system and telling him what to do. Chloe did not appreciate how many loyal followers he had and how important his support was.

MM #7 – Pages 90 – 105 – The revelation allows our hero to see victory, and she rejoins the battle with a new fervor, finally turning the tables on her antagonist and arriving at apparent victory. And then the tables turn one more time!

Turning Point: Apparent victory.

xxxxxx

Emotional Gradient:Triumph

Action Gradient: Chloe recognizes an alternative destiny for herself and takes steps to expand the program to other communities on a more permanent basis.

Challenge: Despite program success, not all elders in surrounding villages are supportive and still need to be persuaded of the program’s value

Weakness: Has no doubts she can convince other leaders of her program’s value and expand the program

MM #8 – Pages 105 – 120 – The hero puts down the antagonist’s last attempt to defeat her, wraps up her story and any sub-plots, and moves into the new world she and her story have created.

Turning Point: New status quo.

Chloe and Rose Marie propose a new program at the local high school and a college in the city to train health care workers with a specialty in maternal child health care. Chloe stays to get the program off the ground which has great community support.

[Marilynne Hebert]

Marilynne’s Three Gradients

What I learned doing this assignment is… This felt like a deconstructed dessert. I could see all the necessary ingredients on my plate but didn’t really understand how the cake came together. I had to read the examples multiple times to finally get it (I think).

1. Logline for my transformational journey.

Lead character with an issue – Caroline, a health educator who is unhappy with life and her life choices

Journey – …moves to Africa to lead a project with the goal to reduce deaths in childbirth

Transformation – and discovers she has more than one rewarding destiny.

2. The 3 Gradients: Desired Change

2.1 Emotional gradient: excitement

Action gradient: Soon after arriving in her assigned African community Caroline meets the doctors and health care workers she’ll be working with.

Challenge/Weakness gradient: C: Community is highly suspicious of her motives

W: Outward confidence covers deep insecurities and anger

2.2 Emotional gradient: doubt

Action gradient: Caroline visits pregnant women in the community and becomes uncertain whether the program she planned will work

Challenge/Weakness gradient: C: The program success may depend entirely on it being more culturally sensitive

W: Aggressively pursues goals but is sometimes unaware of culturally important details.

2.3 Emotional gradient: hope

Action gradient: Caroline engages with a local Buddhist nun and finds hope in local wisdom – both for the program and her own life.

Challenge/Weakness gradient: C: She believes only scientific information is valuable

W: Discounts community and women’s experiences to date

2.4 Emotional gradient: discouragement

Action gradient: Caroline assists a woman who followed everything in the childbirth program she was supposed to, but the woman and her baby still die.

Challenge/Weakness gradient: C: No intervention or program will work 100% of the time.

W: She is unprepared for when the program doesn’t work – mothers and babies still die.

2.5 Emotional gradient: courage

Action gradient: She goes on a safari where her resolve and courage are tested with a birth in a small remote village.

Challenge/Weakness gradient: C: Outside of her little circle of co-workers, Caroline is a lone voice in a large country.

W: Does not appreciate the value of bringing in local “informal” leaders to make a significant change in this country.

2.6 Emotional gradient: triumph

Action gradient: Caroline recognizes an alternative destiny for herself as she expands the program to other communities on a more permanent basis

Challenge/Weakness gradient: C: Despite program success, not all elders in surrounding villages are supportive and still need to be persuaded of the program’s value

W: Has no doubts she can convince other leaders of her program’s value and expand the program

[Marilynne Hebert]

4B Marilynne’s Analysis of Dead Poets Society

What I learned from doing this assignment is… There were many great lines and moments in this story. I found it challenging to pick and choose between ones that were profound (the bigger, more general truths) versus ones that contributed to moving the drama forward (smaller truths related to the story).

We are looking at this movie from the perspective of the change that occurs for the lead character and the audience.

1. The change this movie is about is moving from rote, traditional thinking to free thinking.

The Transformational Journey of this movie is from being students who only follow the rules to young people who think for themselves and explore opportunities.

2. Lead characters:

· The Change Agent (the one causing the change) is the new teacher Mr. Keating. He is the right character to cause the change because he has experienced the culture of this school when he was a student but has taught at another school that espoused free thinking.

· The Transformable Characters (the ones who make the change) are the students in Mr. Keating’s class. They are the right characters to take this profound journey because they’re expecting a very traditional education, just like their fathers had that relied on order and simply following the rules without questioning them.

· The Oppression is the traditional, unchanging, unbending school system and administration.

3. We are lured into the profound journey when, in contrast to the Latin and trigonometry classes, Mr. Keating’s first class goes outside the rigid structure expected at that school.

Some of the students respond to this unexpected change, which causes us to connect with this story.

4. The character who changed the most was Todd. His profound journey began when he arrived at the school, was immediately expected to perform and be a “star” like his brother. For him the change in thinking was more difficult because he lacked self-confidence and the high expectations.

5. From “old ways” (following rules, not challenging them) to “new way of being at the conclusion” (free thinkers, able to explore new ideas and ways of learning)

6. The change gradient – steps the transformational characters go through:

· Following the strict rules and traditional learning/behavior without question,

· Beginning to experience freedom (from tearing out textbook pages that told them to follow a formulaic way to analyze poetry),

· More freedom (marching in the courtyard and not conforming to each other’s steps)

· Ultimate freedom (secret meetings in the Dead Poets Society and following their hearts rather than parents’ directives).

7. Mr. Keating questions the “old way” when he challenges the students’ beliefs and expectations by introducing new independent ways of learning (stands on his desk to get a new perspective) and thinking (challenges conformity).

8. The most profound moments of the movie:

Challenging conformity discussion:

o Mr. Nolan: “Curriculum here is set, it’s proven, it works. If you question it, what’s to prevent them from doing the same?”

o Mr. Keating: “I always thought the idea of education was to learn to think for yourself.”

o Mr. Nolan: “At these boys’ age? Not on your life.”

Neil tries to “Seize the Day” and finds he’s a really good actor. His father refuses to let him continue in the play, unexpectedly shows up in the audience and in the most humiliating way possible drags Neil off in front of everyone.

Mr. Perry lectures Neil (yet again) on how his life will proceed without him having a say, pushing Neil to commit suicide.

Todd bravely stands on his desk and says “O Captain, My Captain” to honor Keating as he’s leaving. Other students follow his lead.

9. The most profound lines of the movie:

Mr. Keating:

· Carpe Diem – Seize the Day – you’ll soon be food for worms

· In my class you will learn to think for yourselves again. Words and ideas can change the world.

· Sucking the marrow out of the bone doesn’t mean choking on the bone. There’s a time for daring, there’s a time for caution. A wise man understands which is called for

Knox: “My father just finished a big (legal) case.” Mr. Danberry: “I know where you’re heading – Like father like son.”

John: “You take a big risk in encouraging them to be artists.” Keating: “Not artists John. Free thinkers.”

After Cameron betrays them to the Administration: “You can’t save Keating, but you can save yourselves.”

Document the students must sign:

· Mr. Keating encouraged you boys to organize this club and to use it as a source of inspiration to indulge in reckless and self-indulgent behaviour.

· It was Mr. Keating’s blatant abuse of his position as teacher that led directly to Neil Perry’s death.

10. The ending pays off the setups of this movie:

· Mr. Perry keeps humiliating and restricting Neil, tightly planning the rest of his life until Neil sees no way out and commits suicide.

· Initially Todd Anderson didn’t speak up because he lacked confidence – but he changed the most and leads the students in standing on his desk and addressing Mr. Keating as “Captain, oh my Captain” to acknowledge him and the change he made in their lives.

· Cameron never really buys into the “new ways” and betrays Mr. Keating and the group to the administration.

The Profound Truth of this movie: you must learn to think for yourself and “Seize the Day” but also know when to be daring and when to be cautious.

[Marilynne Hebert]

4A Marilynne’s Lead Characters

What I learned doing this assignment is… I like the fact my initial thoughts may evolve as I consider other ideas. I hadn’t thought about the Oppression and Betraying Character before and these were a bit of a challenge for me.

My current GUESS about the logline and these four roles includes:

My transformational journey logline: Professor Caroline, an irritable and angry woman dissatisfied with her life and life choices is sent to Africa to lead a project intended to reduce deaths in childbirth where she discovers her life has more than one rewarding destiny.

Mary Ellen is the Change Agent. This character fits the role because her life prior to becoming a Buddhist Nun was a mirror image to Caroline’s life. Her vision for a life well-lived is a combination of her beliefs and experience. She joined the Buddhist order to escape some bad life choices she made.

Professor Caroline is the Transformable Character. This character fits the role because she has hit rock bottom and has so many ways she potentially needs to change to move her life forward. She is truly stuck in a negative spiral.

I’m not entirely sure how The Oppression works in my story. At this time, I think it might be the continued, pressing expectations of society and her family.

The Betraying Character might be any number of people, but I initially think it is another woman who works in the same program as Caroline and has had similar life experiences. She wants to change her life for the better and starts to work with Mary Ellen to make those changes… but when someone from her past arrives, she just gives up.

[Marilynne Hebert]

Marilynne’s Transformational Journey

What I learned doing this assignment is…it’s much easier to think about my transformational journey in “bite-size” pieces.

1. Logline for my transformational journey.

Lead character with an issue – Caroline, a health educator who is unhappy with life and her life choices

Journey – …heads to Africa to lead a student project with the goal to reduce deaths in childbirth

Transformation – and discovers she has more than one rewarding destiny.

2. I see the Old Ways as Caroline:

· Makes her life decisions based on other people’s expectations

· Exists in a perpetual state of dissatisfaction with life because she did not pursue her dream career of becoming a doctor

· Feels nothing measures up to her expectations of “what might have been”

· Is irritable and impatient with the people she lives and works with

3. I see the New Ways as Caroline:

· Makes deliberate, conscious choices about what to do in her life

· Gains clarity on her many possible destinies

· Is appreciative of opportunities to work with others to change people’s lives

· Feels grateful for her life and the people in it

[Marilynne Hebert]

Marilynne’s First Three Decisions

What I learned doing this assignment is… thinking about my story more broadly helps to identify a profound truth. I like the idea of having the cause become background rather than the central story.

Assignment

Profound truth: You are not limited to one possible destiny. Find and follow the best one for you.

Change my movie will cause with an audience: Feeling empowered to believe in themselves and their success wherever they find their destiny.

Entertainment Vehicle to tell this story through: embellished true story

[Marilynne Hebert]

Hi,

Marilynne Hebert from Calgary, Alberta CANADA

Pleased to meet all of you!

I am a recently retired university professor, doing research and teaching in the areas of health and technology (for instance, think delivering quality palliative care at a distance).

Script experience…

1. I have written several screenplays (one about a group of women who come together in a counselling session and become “Bosom Buddies” that was optioned but never made).

2. While on faculty I wrote and produced 6 webisodes that were a collective story of 5 women’s experiences having heart attacks. Having no experience with production I contacted a producer and asked, “How do I do this”? His response, “Just Do It.” (He might have worked for Nike part-time??)

3. I am currently working on 2 mystery/thriller scripts: women pilots and a sabotaged plane in WWII plus a sci-fi about the healing properties of virtual reality.

I hope to get out of this class…

I love complex stories with strong women characters and find profound journeys intriguing – to have an audience experience a change like the main character does. By the end of this course, I would like to have a good start on a script about coming to terms with not having followed your dreams. It takes place in Africa where I’ve had the privilege of teaching university students and going on two safaris.

Something strange/unusual about me…

Many years ago, I participated in music performances and stage productions. I saw an ad for auditions for a production of “Mary Jane” in December 2020 and for some reason (unknown to me) I decided to apply. Put together an audition piece, was called back and given the role…. a Buddhist nun! Due to Covid the production was delayed until June 2022. I decided to shave my head to feel more like my character. It is now coming up on 1-year post head shaving and my hair is finally a couple of inches long, but totally unruly!! (When thinking about Assignment 2, I suddenly realized that the Change Agent in my profound journey story is a Buddhist nun.)

[Marilynne Hebert]

Marilynne Hebert

“I agree to the terms of this release form.”

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Marilynne Hebert]

Marilynne’s Analysis of Groundhog Day

What I learned doing this assignment is that using the 10 questions made me look at different things in the movie that I hadn’t seen before.

We are looking at this movie from the perspective of the change that occurs for the lead character and the audience.

1. The CHANGE this movie is about – someone who blames everyone around him for his unhappiness to someone who takes responsibility for creating his own happiness – making the changes he needs to make.

Transformational Journey – Going from being dissatisfied with his life as a local TV weatherman (scrooge to everyone – “people are morons”) to being happy with his life that now includes the woman he loves.

2. Lead characters

o Change Agent (the one causing the change) – is the relentlessly cheerful producer Rita; she is the right character to cause this change for two reasons: she is the opposite of Phil and already living a happy life (vision) and he wants her to like him/has a crush on her.

o Transformable Character (the one who makes the change) is the TV weatherman Phil Connors; he is the right character to deliver this profound journey because he has the farthest to go and potentially struggle the most to change

o The Oppression is Phil being stuck in a time loop and repeating the same day over and over – the worst day of his life – until he gets it right

3. We are lured into the profound journey when we realize, at the same time Phil does. that his day is being repeated – he hears exactly the same thing on the radio, meets the same people doing and saying the same things. Wonder how long he can go on re-living this day. Phil says he’s feeling weird, drops his mic and walks off, causing us to connect with this story.

4. As the character who changed the most, the profound journey for Phil from “old ways” to “new way of being” was:

His old way:

o rude, obnoxious (doesn’t remember Ned Ryerson – from his high school)

o puts people down – asks Mrs. Lancaster if there’s any chance of getting an espresso or cappuccino. She stumbles about not knowing what he is asking for and he says under his breath “you probably don’t even know how to spell it.”

o prima donna, thinks he’s “the talent” of the broadcast team

o sarcastic, on the air announces a giant “rat” just predicted the weather

o egocentric

His new way at the conclusion:

o Kind, helpful

o Saving people from accidents

o Speaks to people in positive way

2. The gradient of change was from a total jerk to someone who was kind and caring.

Steps the Transformational Character went through as he was changing included:

a. Total jerk, disrespectful and rude to everyone he meets and talks to

b. Realizes he is trapped in a time loop and without tomorrow there are no consequences to his behavior: Phil and his 2 drunk buddies get into the car. He asks: “What if there were no tomorrow?” They immediately respond: “No tomorrow? That would mean there would be no consequences, no hangover. We could do whatever we wanted.”

c. Goes all out on the no consequences for bad habits: Breakfast with Rita he says he doesn’t worry about anything anymore (smoking, gaining weight, eating donuts for breakfast). That’s what makes him special.

d. He begins to realize he can use this repeating day to his advantage:

§ He meets “Nancy Taylor” and finds out her high school and English teacher. Later he uses this info to pretend they are old friends and seduce her.

§ He does something outrageous like robbing a bank truck because he knows their routine and there are no consequences.

§ He learns more about Rita every day with the intent to seduce her – asks who her perfect guy would be, what she drinks, likes/dislikes. He mirrors these to get her to fall in love with him.

e. He thinks he’s got the time loop down, but when he tells Rita he loves her, it backfires. He knows everything about her and has been pretending to be just like her. But in her eyes, he is still the same selfish, self-absorbed guy.

f. He hits rock bottom: drinks, gets mean in his predictions about the groundhog, smashes his clock radio when it comes on at 6am, kidnaps the groundhog and drives over a cliff, killing them both; toaster in the bathtub, hit by a truck, dives off a building and his body is identified by Rita and Larry

g. When he realizes he loves Rita, the only chance of her loving him is to improve himself and actually become her “perfect guy”: intelligent (learns French poetry), romantic (carves Rita’s face in an ice block), courageous (saves a man from choking), kind (helps elderly ladies by changing their flat tie), plays an instrument (learns to play the piano).

3. The “old way” was challenged by Phil getting to know Rita and thinking that was all he had to do to change how she felt about him.

Beliefs that were challenged that caused Phil to shift his perspective…and make the change:

· Believes people are morons and people who live in small towns are “hicks”; It is beneath him to be assigned to the small town covering a weather-telling groundhog. BUT when he learns about the town and their history, he actually likes it and decides to stay.

· Believes he can get Rita to love him simply by knowing everything about her, but this fails. Realizes he really loves her and must change himself.

· Believes he can convince Rita he is in this repeating time loop but his previous behavior makes that difficult. They spend the “perfect day” together and Phil realizes two things that spur on his changes:

o The worst thing about the day is that tomorrow she won’t remember it.

o How great she is, he doesn’t deserve someone like her, but if he ever could he’d love her the rest of his life.

The next day he wakes up without her and starts treating people differently – beginning with his crew.

He starts to use the endless time loop he’s in to improve himself

· Takes piano lessons and finally gets good at it.

· Becomes an accomplished ice sculptor

· Gives the homeless man all his money and takes him to the hospital where he dies of “old age.” Phil tries to prevent this happening by looking after the man.

· Learns how to save a man from choking.

· Learns about the history of the town and the groundhog – gives a nice speech about the importance of both

· He says he has “errands” to run and goes about saving people he knows will be in danger – catches a kid who falls out of a tree, changes the tire for 3 elderly ladies, saves a man from choking.

The most profound moments of the movie were:

· Phil leaves a broken pencil beside his clock radio and finds it in one piece the next morning proving the repeated loop he is in is real.

· At the end of a “perfect” day he tells Rita he loves her, but she sees through his game of thinking that knowing things about her means he knows and loves her. He really hasn’t changed at all from the kind of guy she could never love – someone who could only love himself.

· Rita “buys” Phil at the bachelor auction for $300 – from the town’s reaction she realizes he’s changed and she no longer despises him

· Phil realizes he genuinely loves Rita and wants to change to be worthy of her love

· Even though he can save people from deadly accidents and misfortunes, he realizes he can’t save the old man who dies of old age.

4. The most profound lines of the movie were:

· To the phone company inquiring about repairs to the long distance lines: “What if there is no tomorrow? There wasn’t one today!”

· Phil talking to guys at the bar: “What would you do if you were stuck in one place, and everything was exactly the same and nothing you did mattered?” One of the guys responds: “That sums it up for me” (and probably Phil’s life as well).

· After he carves her face into a block of ice:Rita: “It’s beautiful. I don’t know what to say.Phil: I do. No matter what happens tomorrow or for the rest of my life, I’m happy now because I love you.

· When Phil is expecting to wake up still in the time loop, he isn’t very romantic. When the time loop is broken, he is much more amorous.

o Rita: Why weren’t you like this yesterday?

o Phil: It was the end of a very long day.

5. The ending pays off the setups of this movie:

· Takes piano lessons – plays for the final Groundhog festivities party and shows he is a good guy

· He saves people and at the party many townspeople come by to thank him for his kindness

· Learns to be a master sculptor and impresses Rita with his skills; beautifully carves the image of her face into an ice block

· Learns to speak French and can read French poetry to her

· Finds true love and breaks the cycle of groundhog day.

6. The Profound Truth of this movie: you have to be willing to improve yourself, to get it right, before you can find true love.

[Marilynne Hebert]

Marilynne Hebert

“I agree to the terms of this release form.”

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Marilynne Hebert]

Marilynne’s Reaction to Turning Point 1

What I learned doing this assignment is a better understanding of how the acts are connected

ACT 2 BEAT SHEET

INT. EMERGENCY ROOM – LATER THAT EVENING

Monroe visits Dr. Isy and she confides in Monroe her desperate search for funding to save her daughter.

INT. DEPARTMENT MEETING ROOM – NEXT DAY

A colleague “volunteers” to take over her project so it will succeed.

ACT 2 OUTLINE

INT. EMERGENCY ROOM – LATER THAT EVENING

BEGINNING: Monroe frantically searches for Dr. Isy.

MIDDLE: Dr. Isy confirms she is OK but Rana has a serious spinal cord injury.

END: Dr. Isy confides in Monroe there was something off about the shooter that somehow threatens her work. She is even more desperate to secure funds to quickly finish her research and save Rana.

INT. DEPARTMENT MEETING ROOM – NEXT DAY

BEGINNING: Department Head congratulates Dr. Isy on her research progress. He notes the “unfortunate accident” yesterday, but given research funding cuts, she’ll have to put her project on hold for now.

MIDDLE: One of her “colleagues” Dr. Ted Wingate, has been putting her down for years and volunteers to “take over her project.” He brags he has connections and can find the needed funding.

PLACEHOLDER: Does Dr. Wingate have some connection to the saboteur?

END: Dr. Isy won’t be dismissed again. She slowly stands and surveys each person around the table.

“That ‘unfortunate accident’ was no accident, and my daughter was seriously injured. All of you know this is a “once in a lifetime” opportunity. I’ve already made an amazing discovery and no one – I mean no one – is going to take over. I am done listening to your back-handed, insincere comments. I will find the funding I need with no help from any of you!”

[Marilynne Hebert]

Marilynne’s Finished ACT 1

What I learned doing this assignment is I am still unclear whether I want actions of the saboteur to be visible to the audience or invisible to both the characters and audience.

(The underlined scenes are the ones that may or may not be hidden.)

Act 1

Location: Virtual Reality Research Centre in the near future. Dr. Isy (Isabella) Belton is the senior scientist, who is making slow progress on her Virtual Human Project. Four areas make up the Virtual Human Project space – Dr. Isy’s office, the computing area where the project team works, a conference room and the lab where the virtual reality is located.

PLACEHOLDER: Dr. BELTON is a scientist – early in the story she meets with her department head about abandoning her research. Funding is limited. It’s not enough to make her change her approach, but enough to get her thinking about her being more in control of her destiny.

INT. VIRTUAL HUMAN PROJECT (VHP): COMPUTER ROOM – EARLY MORNING

DR. ISY BELTON isn’t expecting anyone to be in this early. She’s surprised to find her project leader MONROE already working at her computer and asks what she’s working on.

“Checking our climbing scenario test is ready to go later this morning.” They both glance at the long cut and scrape on Dr. Isy’s right forearm.

“Nasty cut. From the Lab?”

“Yeah. Still have to figure out how that happened. Injuries in the Lab aren’t supposed to be real.”

Monroe nods in agreement. As Dr. Isy enters the Virtual Human Project Lab, she calls back to Monroe, “Just a quick test on the bike racing scenario. It has a couple of glitches still.”

Monroe nods.

INT. VHP: LAB – EARLY MORNING CONTINUOUS

Dr. Isy initiates the VHP bike racing scenario. Quickly she’s wearing racing gear and on a bicycle racing around the track. She stops after a few rounds and tosses her head (like she’s recently been wearing a bike helmet).

INT. VHP: COMPUTER ROOM – EARLY MORNING CONTINUOUS

As she re-enters the Computer Room, Dr. Isy glances at her forearm and quickly pulls her sleeve down when Monroe glances over. Her injury is gone.

INT. VHP: OFFICE – EARLY MORNING CONTINUOUS

Isy can’t believe what’s just happened. She is so excited about this breakthrough in her technology, she has to tell somebody. She closes her office door and video chats with her best friend and colleague – MARK JACKSON.

She reminds him he is sworn to secrecy. He is very aware of this and also knows how important this leap forward is. Being a realist, he can’t help but state the obvious.

“Isabella your funding has run out and you have no prospects.”

He nudges her to take on a partner – maybe the military or government.

“They are very interested and will be even more so with your new finding.”

But she adamantly refuses because what they believe about equal distribution of new scientific advances in no way matches hers.

INT. Global Techno Action (GTA) CORNER OFFICE – LATER THAT MORNING

MR. JOHN WATSON, Chief of Research and Development in a powerful company Global Techno Action (GTA), recognizes the future importance of Dr. Borden’s research. He keeps close tabs on her and senses she is close to discovering something big (or already has but hasn’t told anyone.)

He disagrees with the Assistant Chief SID ADAMOS about how to proceed. He feels his company has the right to own this technological development because they have the funds and expertise to continue to develop and market it world-wide. He plans to infiltrate her team, steal the work, and destroy her credibility in the process.

“I want you to remotely insert rogue programming to change the rock climbing scenario. By the way… they will have a job opening this afternoon. Go down there and get that job.”

EXT. ABC COFFEE SHOP – EARLY NEXT MORNING

BENNY waits on the sidewalk outside the coffee shop with two morning coffees and bagels. A well dressed, sexy woman approaches him… not the kind he usually meets and kind of intimidating. She hands him her business card and introduces herself as MARGO, a Human Resources representative from a high tech company.

Margo strikes up a conversation and asks if Benny might be interested in working in R&D, with a solid salary. He is surprised she knows his name and by this sudden offer. He says he’ll think about it. She says thanks and leaves him with a dazzling smile.

Monroe comes down the street and waves as she approaches Benny. He seems a bit “spaced out” as he tells Monroe about the strange conversation he just had, and a job offer “out of the blue.”

INT. VHP: CONFERENCE ROOM – LATER SAME MORNING

Dr. Isy and her team Benny, Monroe, and ZACK meet around the conference table discussing the climbing scenario test scheduled for the next day. Zack is a bit miffed they didn’t bring him a coffee too.

They argue about who should be the first tester. Benny has the most experience and makes the strongest case. Monroe and Zack are not convinced Benny is the best choice.

In the end it’s Dr. Isy’s decision and the team leaves the conference room still disgruntled with the decision. Dr. Isy says she’ll be right back and the rest of the team head over to the Lab. Monroe and Zack watch from the lab window while Benny heads inside the Lab

INT. VHP: LAB – MORNING CONTINUOUS

Benny starts the trial rock climbing scenario and is immediately wearing climbing gear. As he climbs he feels like he is hundreds of feet in the air, but in reality he’s only 2 feet from the floor. He feels the rope slacken, the cut piece flies past him and he “falls to the ground.” He screams and thrashes on the floor in terror.

INT. VHP: COMPUTER ROOM – MORNING CONTINUOUS

Zack is laughing hysterically and Monroe shouting to help Benny.

Dr. Isy returns to this Computing Room chaos. She immediately sees the problem and rushes into the Lab.

INT. VHP: LAB – MORNING CONTINUOUS

Dr. Isy stops the VHP program and rushes over to Benny. She reassures him that he didn’t really fall, and everything is OK.

“Tell that to my heart,” he snaps back. “I’m out. No job is worth this.”

Dr. Isy examines the rope, and it clearly has been cut. “What the hell is going on?” She shows the end of the rope to Benny.

Benny is so angry he can hardly speak. “I don’t care. I just want out of here.”

Dr. Isy and Benny return to the Computer Room.

INT. VHP: COMPUTER ROOM – MORNING CONTINUOUS

Monroe rushes over and hugs Benny. He shrugs her off. “Are you OK?”

“What do you think?” Benny turns furiously to Zack. “Is this your idea of some sick joke? I thought you were my friends!”

Benny stalks off, pulling out Margo’s business card.

PLACEHOLDER: TE – Dr. Isy must become skilled at operating inside the VHP lab as its developer. She doesn’t have any idea how this could happen and begins testing the training scenarios herself to find out how this happened.

INT. GTA: OFFICE – EARLY AFTERNOON

John Watson of GTA knows the research team are at a critical point in their testing and need an immediate replacement. He pulls all the strings necessary to make sure Sid’s resume reaches Dr. Belton and he is hired as the replacement team member.

INT. VHP: OFFICE – EARLY AFTERNOON

Sid confidently introduces himself as Mr. Sid Adamos – better known by his nickname Cracker Jack (or CJ). She doesn’t think he’s funny.

“What is Sid short for?”

“A name I have suffered for my entire life – Sisyphus* – my father thinks he’s hilarious. You know – a Greek god who was clever and destined for greatness.”

“If I recall he also ended up spending eternity pushing a boulder up a hill.”

“Well, that too.”

INT. VHP OFFICE –LATER THAT AFTERNOON

The minute he’s hired, Sid starts to track Dr. Isy Belton’s movements.

INT VHP LAB – MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

When the team is not scheduled to be in the VHP lab, Sid creates an androgenous-looking avatar dressed all in black. Takes several attempts to move his avatar into the real world.

He programs the avatar to follow Isy the next evening. Its job is to create a diversion, then shoot and seriously injure her.

INT. VHP LAB – LATE AFTERNOON

Dr. Isy uses one of her memories of a Convenience Store to create a Fantasy World to take her daughter to later.

(Need to figure this out to be consistent – If it is a VR then how can they be shot with real bullets?)

INT. LOCAL (REAL/VIRTUAL) CONVENIENCE STORE – EVENING

They have a ritual every lunar cycle – Dr. Isy and her mother, her mother and her grandmother, and now Dr. Isy and her daughter. To get ready for watching their favorite movie they buy junk food from the local convenience store for their special treat night. Dr. Isy and Rana walk to the store. They are excited – this is Rana’s first movie and treat night. The store has a few other customers.

Dr. Isy goes straight to the back of the store to get beverages. This is all so new, and Rana can’t decide what to choose from the many selections in the snack aisle. Her mother is having almost as much fun as Rana is just watching her.

An androgenous figure dressed in black enters the convenience store. He pauses, looks around, then starts shooting randomly around the store. Dr. Isy briefly glances at the figure’s face and Rana is shot.

Dr. Isy is grazed by a shot and crawls over to Rana who’s covered in blood and moaning. Like a bolt of lightning Dr. Isy realizes whoever this saboteur is means business. Funding is now critical – no matter who she needs to partner with – she must continue her research and save her daughter.

[Marilynne Hebert]

Marilynne’s Turning Point 1 Scenes

What I learned doing this assignment is to keep inserting placeholders so you continue to move forward.

TURNING POINT 1

BEATS:

An androgenous figure dressed in black randomly robs a local convenience store.

Isy’s 10 year-old daughter MIRANDA (nickname RANA), is shot and sustains a life threatening spinal injury.

Isy suspects a Saboteur is behind the attack.

OUTLINE:

INT. LOCAL (?REAL/VIRTUAL) CONVENIENCE STORE – EVENING

BEGINNING: They have a custom – Dr. Isy and her mother, her mother and her grandmother, and now her and her daughter. To get ready for watching their favorite movie they buy junk food from the local convenience store for their special treat night.

MIDDLE: Dr. Isy is at the back of the store getting beverages, Rana can’t decide in the snack aisle. An androgenous figure dressed in black enters the convenience store. He pauses, then starts shouting “get down” and shooting randomly around the store. Dr. Isy briefly looks up at the figure and Rana is shot.

END: Dr. Isy is grazed by a shot and crawls over to Rana who’s covered in blood and moaning. Like a bolt of lightning Dr. Isy realizes immediate funding is now critical to continue her research and save her daughter.

[Marilynne Hebert]

Marilynne’s Inciting Incident

What I learned doing this assignment is… the story keeps unfolding

1. Outline Key Scenes 2 & 3 for Act 1.

SECOND SCENE OUTLINE

INT. VHP CONFERENCE ROOM – LATER SAME MORNING

BEGINNING: Dr. Isy and her team Benny, Monroe, and Zack meet around the conference table discussing the climbing scenario test scheduled for the next day.

MIDDLE: They argue about who should be the first tester. Benny has the most experience and makes the strongest case. Monroe and Zack are not convinced Benny is the best choice.

END: The team leaves the lab still disgruntled with Dr. Isy’s decision.

THIRD SCENE OUTLINE

EXT. ABC COFFEE SHOP – EARLY NEXT MORNING

BEGINNING: Benny waits outside the coffee shop with his morning coffee and bagel. A well dressed, sexy woman approaches him – not the kind he usually meets. She hands him her business card and introduces herself as Margo, a Global Techno Action (GTA) Human Resources representative.

MIDDLE: She strikes up a conversation and asks if Benny might be interested in working for a large R&D corporation, with a considerable salary increase. He is surprised by this sudden offer and says he’ll think about it. She thanks him and leaves him with her dazzling smile.

END: Monroe waves as she approaches Benny. He seems a bit “spaced out” as he tells Monroe about the strange conversation he just had and the job offer “out of the blue.”

2. Write your Inciting Incident scene.

INCITING INCIDENT: An androgenous figure dressed in black apparently randomly robs a local convenience store. Roberto, Isy’s 10 year-old son, is shot and sustains a life threatening spinal injury. She suspects the Saboteur is behind it.

Inciting Incident Scene Outline

INT. LOCAL CONVENIENCE STORE – EVENING

BEGINNING: In preparation for watching their favorite movie. Dr. Isy and her 10-year-old son ROBERTO look for junk food for theirspecial treat night.

MIDDLE: Dr. Isy is at the back of the store getting beverages, Roberto can’t decide in the snack aisle. An androgenous figure dressed in black enters the convenience store. He pauses, then starts shouting “get down” and shooting randomly around the store. Dr. Isy looks up at the figure.

END: Dr. Isy has been shot and she crawls over to Roberto. He’s covered in blood and moaning.

3. Write the scene for the Reaction to the Inciting Incident.

Inciting Incident Scene Reaction

INT. EMERGENCY ROOM – LATER THAT EVENING

BEGINNING: Monroe distractedly looks for Dr. Isy.

MIDDLE: Dr. Isy confirms she is OK but Roberto has a serious spinal cord injury.

END: Dr. Isy confides in Monroe there was something off about the shooter – almost not human. She vows to track him/it down.

[Marilynne Hebert]

Marilynne’s Act 1: Opening Scenes

What I learned doing this assignment is… I am not clear about introducing the antagonist this early. He/It is not revealed until much later; the only thing that is revealed is his/its actions and their consequences.

ACT 1 – Key Scenes

OPENING SCENE BEAT SHEET

INT. VIRTUAL HUMAN PROJECT (VHP) LAB – EARLY MORNING

OPENING: DR. ISY BORDEN enters the scenario test with a cut on her arm and realizes it is healed when she leaves the lab.

OPENING SCENE OUTLINE

INT. VIRTUAL HUMAN PROJECT (VHP) LAB – EARLY MORNING

BEGINNING: Dr. ISY tells her team member MONROE she is doing an initial test on the bike racing scenario. She briefly glances at a long scrape on her right forearm as she enters the lab.

MIDDLE: In the Lab Dr. Isy initiates a bike racing scenario and is soon on a bicycle racing around the track.

END: As she leaves the Lab, Dr. Isy glances at her forearm. Her injury is gone.

SECOND SCENE BEAT SHEET

INT. VHP CONFERENCE ROOM – LATER SAME MORNING

Dr. Isy has called a meeting with her team to plan the test scenario for the next day. BENNY MARTENS will take the lead on conducting the test.

SECOND SCENE OUTLINE

INT. VHP CONFERENCE ROOM – LATER SAME MORNING

BEGINNING: Dr. Isy and her team Benny, Monroe, and Zack meet around the conference table discussing the climbing scenario test scheduled for the next day.

MIDDLE: They argue about who should be the first tester. Benny has the most experience and makes the strongest case. Monroe and Zack are not convinced Benny is the best choice.

END: The team leaves the lab still disgruntled with Dr. Isy’s decision.

THIRD SCENE BEAT SHEET

EXT. ABC COFFEE SHOP – EARLY NEXT MORNING

A Global Techno Action (GTA) Human Resources rep approaches Benny when he picks up his morning coffee. She strikes up a conversation and asks if he might be interested in working for a large R&D corporation, with a considerable increase in salary. He is surprised by this sudden offer and says he’ll think about it.

THIRD SCENE OUTLINE

EXT. ABC COFFEE SHOP – EARLY NEXT MORNING

BEGINNING: Benny waits outside the coffee shop with his morning coffee and bagel. A well dressed, sexy woman approaches him – not the kind he usually meets. She hands him her business card and introduces herself as Margo, a Global Techno Action (GTA) Human Resources representative.

MIDDLE: She strikes up a conversation and asks if Benny might be interested in working for a large R&D corporation, with a considerable salary increase. He is surprised by this sudden offer and says he’ll think about it. She thanks him and leaves him with her dazzling smile.

END: Monroe waves as she approaches Benny. He seems a bit “spaced out” as he tells Monroe about the strange conversation he just had and the job offer “out of the blue.”

[Marilynne Hebert]

Marilynne’s Beat Sheet Draft 2

What I learned doing this assignment is… it remains challenging to do a quick pass and not get distracted by all the other “little ideas” that pop into your head along the way.

1. Pass 1: Interweave theme throughout the beat sheet.

Who has the right to decide how technology should influence the course of human development?

· Antagonist (corporation): technology advances belong to the highest bidder

· Protagonist (scientist): technology advances should be available to everyone

· Team member (from the military) – whoever funded the technology development should control how it’s is used – it’s nobody else’s business

2. Pass 2: Build in the Antagonist’s Journey – In this case the antagonist has a plan in motion before the movie starts and the Protagonist steps into it, without knowing. (Main beats of the Antagonist’s story are bold and underlined below)

Act 1:

INT. VIRTUAL HUMAN PROJECT (VHP) LAB – EARLY MORNING

OPENING: DR. ISY BORDEN enters the scenario test with a cut on her arm and realizes it is healed when she leaves the lab.

INT. VHP CONFERENCE ROOM – LATER SAME MORNING

TE 1: In a meeting with colleagues who try to control what she does, going so far as to volunteer to “take over her project” which everyone can see is going to be a blockbuster success. She declares her intelligence and experience are very well suited for this project, she’ll work independently from now on and won’t take any more crap from them like ridiculous ideas about a take-over.

ISY meets with her team to plan the test scenario for the next day. BENNY MARTENS will take the lead on conducting the test.

INT. GTA CORNER OFFICE – LATER THAT DAY

MR. SID ADAMOS, Chief of Research and Development in a powerful company Global Techno Action (GTA), recognizes the future importance of Dr. Borden’s research. He keeps close tabs on her and senses she is close to discovering something big (or already has but hasn’t told anyone.)

He disagrees with the Assistant Chief about how to proceed. He feels his company has the right to own this technological development because they have the funds and expertise to continue to develop and market it world-wide. He plans to infiltrate her team, steal the work and destroy her credibility in the process.

Initially Sid hires a top hacker to remotely insert rogue programming to change the rock climbing scenario.

EXT. ABC COFFEE SHOP – EARLY NEXT MORNING

A GTA Human Resources rep approaches Benny when he picks up his morning coffee. She strikes up a conversation and asks if he might be interested in working for a large R&D corporation, with a considerable increase in salary. He is surprised by this sudden offer and says he’ll think about it.

INT. VHP LAB – LATER THAT MORNING

TE 2: A bizarre accident occurs during the test of rock climbing scenario. The climbing rope is apparently cut and Benny “falls to the ground” – he’s only physically 2 feet from the ground, but virtually felt he fell from a great height and suffered a panic attack. Benny quits his job.

TE 3: She must become skilled at operating inside the VHP Lab as its developer. She doesn’t have any idea how this could happen and begins testing the training scenarios herself to find out.

INT. VHP OFFICE – EARLY AFTERNOON

Sid knows the research team are at a critical point in their testing and need an immediate replacement. He pulls all the strings necessary to make sure his resume reaches Dr. Borden and he is hired as the replacement team member. He introduces himself as Mr. Sid Adamos – better known by his nickname Cracker Jack (or CJ). She doesn’t think he’s funny.

“What is Sid short for?”

“A name I have suffered for my entire life – Sisyphus* – my father thinks he’s hilarious. You know – a Greek god who was clever and destined for greatness.”

“If I recall he also ended up spending eternity pushing a boulder up a hill.”

“Well, that too.”

INT. VHP OFFICE –LATER THAT AFTERNOON

The minute he’s hired, he starts to track Dr. Isy Borden’s movements.

INT VHP LAB – MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

When the team is not scheduled to be in the VHP lab, Sid creates an androgenous-looking avatar who dresses all in black. Takes several attempts to move his avatar into the real world.

He programs the avatar to follow Isy the next evening. Its job is to create a diversion, then shoot and injure her.

INT. CONVENIENCE STORE – DAY

INCITING INCIDENT: An androgenous figure dressed in black apparently randomly robs a local convenience store. ROBERTO, Isy’s 10 year-old son, is shot and sustains a life threatening spinal injury. She suspects the Saboteur is behind it.

TE 4: Sees the Saboteur’s power and its intent to destroy her.

INT. VHP OFFICE – EARLY MORNING

Sid is surprised to find Dr. Borden in her office the next day with only minor injuries. Her 10-year-old son was seriously injured. He appears suitably shaken up by this news but in reality, he’s already busy making plans for how he can best use this information to his advantage.

INT VHP LAB – LATE EVENING

Sid programmes a visit from a figure dressed in black.

INT. VHP LAB – LATE AFTERNOON

Isy is close to finding the answer (for her son) when a similar figure in black gains entry to their secure environment. It causes a crash in the virtual test of a motocross race scenario and comes close to seriously injuring Isy.

Act 2:

INT. VHP LAB – LATE AFTERNOON

Sid gets bruised after an encounter in the VHP Lab with the motocross race scenario. He doesn’t let anyone on the team know how much he’s hurting – has covered the bruises with make-up and is taking pain killers by the handful. He only limps when no one is around.

INT. VHP MEETING ROOM – DAY

Team discusses how and why someone is sabotaging the VHP; list possible suspects who would stand to gain by destroying their project

Sid makes a point of contributing to the team during meetings, but truthfully is taking notes to help him program the next glitch.

INT. VHP COMPUTING ROOM – DAY

Team works to repair the programming glitch that caused motocross accident. Argue about who could be responsible, who would benefit (?government, military, industry)

INT. ISY’S OFFICE – LATE AFTERNOON

Receives a notice that an anonymous donor will fund their project to completion. Isy struggles with not knowing who that funder is and whether it will make a difference to how the technology is used.

INT. ISY’S OFFICE – LATE EVENING

Isy is tired and working alone. She glimpses a shadowy black figure physically in the lab as well as on multiple computer screens and wonders if this is all in her head.

INT. ISY’S OFFICE – VERY EARLY NEXT MORNING

Isy arrives for work and discovers the figure in black sitting at her desk. It threatens her and her son’s lives. She calls Campus Security, but the figure disappears by the time they arrive.

TE 5: Recognizes the Virtual Human Project has the potential to develop in more complex and potentially dangerous ways that are outside their current experience.

INT. VHP MEETING ROOM – DAY

Team anxiously debates how it is possible for a Virtual Human to exist outside the lab and what this might mean for future consequences.

INT. ISY’S OFFICE – LATER SAME DAY

Isy discusses the anonymous funding source with her department head and discovers it is the military. She worries this could present some serious problems in how decisions are made to use the technology. However, she’s run out of options and Roberto urgently needs the treatment.

Act 3:

INT. VHP LAB – DAY

Isy and her team test ways to take down the Saboteur. Develop a plan and start round the clock monitoring of the virtual and physical spaces; reset access codes to the VHP. Able to rule out the military who it turns out are funding the remainder of their research.

INT. VHP LAB – LATER THAT DAY

Under extreme security precautions, Isy attempts to temporarily repair Roberto’s spine damage. This will give them more time to find and correct the problem that’s preventing a permanent change. The figure in black interferes in the treatment and nearly kills Roberto.

Isy concludes there is a leak in the team but doesn’t know where.

Act 4:

INT. VHP LAB – NEXT DAY

TE 6: Defeat the Saboteur at its own game.

Isy reveals complete plans to two out of the three team members. She suspects the third member she hired after the climbing wall accident and only reveals partial plans to him.

Isy is attacked in a virtual test of motocross racing. But this time she’s ready. With the help of two team members, she aggressively knocks out its car, sending it crashing to the side in flames.

INT. VHP LAB – 2 DAYS LATER

TE 7: Isy adopts her rightful place as the research leader (?is promoted, gets a plaque)

Isy completes the urgent treatment on her son’s spine and proves it is successful.

[Marilynne Hebert]

Marilynne’s High Speed Beat Sheet

What I learned doing this assignment is that each draft has its own purpose and quality level.

Act 1:

INT. VIRTUAL HUMAN PROJECT LAB – DAY

OPENING: Isy enters the lab with a cut on her arm and discovers it is healed when she leaves the lab.

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY SOON AFTER

TE 1: In a meeting with colleagues who try to control what she does, she declares her independence and she won’t take any more crap from them.

INT. VIRTUAL HUMAN PROJECT LAB – LATER THAT DAY

TE 2: A bizarre accident in a trial scenario interferes with their testing and a key team member quits. During the test of a rock climbing scenario, the climbing rope is apparently cut and the tester “falls to the ground” – it’s only 2 feet, but he felt he was falling from a great height and suffered a panic attack.

TE 3: Become skilled at operating inside the VHP lab as its developer. She doesn’t have any idea how this could happen and begins testing the training scenarios herself to find out.

INT. CONVENIENCE STORE – DAY

INCITING INCIDENT: An androgenous figure dressed in black apparently randomly robs a local convenience store. Roberto, Isy’s 10 year-old son, is shot and sustains a life threatening spinal injury. She suspects the Saboteur is behind it.

TE 4: Sees the Saboteur’s power and its intent to destroy her.

INT. VIRTUAL HUMAN PROJECT LAB – LATE AFTERNOON

Isy is close to finding the answer (for her son) when a similar figure in black gains entry to their secure environment. It causes a crash in the virtual test of a motocross race scenario and comes close to seriously injuring Isy.

Act 2:

INT. VIRTUAL HUMAN PROJECT MEETING ROOM – DAY

Team discusses how and why someone is sabotaging the Virtual Human Program (VHP); list possible suspects who would stand to gain by destroying their project

INT. VIRTUAL HUMAN PROJECT COMPUTING ROOM – DAY

Team works to repair the programming glitch that caused motocross accident. Discuss who could be responsible, who would benefit (?government, military, industry)

INT. ISY’S OFFICE – LATE AFTERNOON

Receives a notice that an anonymous donor will fund their project to completion. Isy struggles with not knowing who that funder is and whether it will make a difference to how the technology is used.

INT. ISY’S OFFICE – LATE EVENING

Isy is tired and working alone. She glimpses a shadowy black figure physically in the lab as well as on multiple computer screens and wonders if this is all in her head.

INT. ISY’S OFFICE – VERY EARLY NEXT MORNING

Isy arrives for work and discovers the figure in black sitting at her desk. It threatens her and her son’s lives. She calls Campus Security, but the figure disappears by the time they arrive.

TE 5: Recognizes the Virtual Human Project has the potential to develop in more complex and potentially dangerous ways that are outside their current experience.

INT. VIRTUAL HUMAN PROJECT MEETING ROOM – DAY

Team has anxious discussion about how it is possible for this Virtual Human to exist outside the lab and possible future consequences.

INT. ISY’S OFFICE – LATER SAME DAY

Isy discusses the source of her anonymous funding with her department head – finds out it is the military, which she worries could present some serious problems in how the technology is eventually used but she has run out of options.

Act 3:

INT. VIRTUAL HUMAN PROJECT LAB – DAY

Isy and her team test ways to take down the Saboteur. Develop a plan and start round the clock monitoring of the virtual and physical spaces; reset access codes to the VHP. Able to rule out the military who it turns out are funding the remainder of their research.

INT. VIRTUAL HUMAN PROJECT LAB – LATER THAT DAY

Under extreme security precautions, Isy attempts to temporarily repair Roberto’s spine damage. This will give them more time to find and correct the problem that’s preventing a permanent change. The figure in black interferes in the treatment and nearly kills Roberto.

Isy concludes there is a leak in the team but doesn’t know where.

Act 4:

INT. VIRTUAL HUMAN PROJECT LAB – NEXT DAY

TE 6: Defeat the Saboteur at its own game.

Isy reveals complete plans to two out of the three team members. She suspects the third member she hired after the climbing wall accident and only reveals partial plans to him.

Isy is attacked in a virtual test of motocross racing. But this time she’s ready. With the help of two team members, she aggressively knocks out its car, sending it crashing to the side in flames.

INT. VIRTUAL HUMAN PROJECT LAB – 2 DAYS LATER

TE 7: Isy adopts her rightful place as the research leader (?is promoted, gets a plaque)

Isy completes the urgent treatment on her son’s spine and proves it is successful.

[Marilynne Hebert]

Marilynne’s Transformational Events

What I learned doing this assignment is… Perfection is a hard habit to run away from!

Character Arc – although a very smart woman with tremendous potential, a researcher allows everyone around her to control what she does. She moves from a dependent, weak position to one of independence and strength where she calls the shots on her own life.

Researcher OLD Ways:

1. Doesn’t question authority figures; lets others determine her path

2. Dedicated and driven to doing the best research in the world

3. Unable to see how a past wound experiencing technology’s harm prevents her from succeeding

Researcher NEW Ways:

1. Self-confident, not afraid to voice her opinion and “kick ass” where she needs to

2. Recognizes her team’s knowledge and skills

3. Released from her wound and able to see past the incident to focus on moving forward

6 – 8 changes or steps that need to happen for my character to go from who they are in the beginning (Old Ways) to who they are in the ending (New Ways) – sequenced from easiest to most difficult; dramatic events or tests in bold, italic

1. Own her position of knowledge and power when she engages with members of her department.

At a highly charged departmental meeting a colleague strongly suggests he should take over her project because she is too inexperienced. This is the last straw – she has more experience and knowledge than anyone in her department and decides she won’t take any more crap from them.

2. Become skilled at operating inside the VHP lab as its developer.

During the test of a rock climbing scenario, the climbing rope is apparently cut and the tester “falls to the ground” – only 2 feet, but he felt he was falling from a great height. She doesn’t have any idea how this could happen and begins testing the training scenarios herself to push the technology.

3. Recognize the Virtual Human Project has the potential to develop in more complex ways outside her current experience.

She finds a Virtual Human – an androgenous figure – dressed in black sitting in her office. It makes threats to destroy her. It shouldn’t be able to exist outside the lab.

4. See the Saboteur’s power and its intent to destroy her.

An apparent random robbery at a local convenience store leaves her son with a spinal injury. The perpetrator looks like the figure in her office.

5. Defeat the Saboteur at its own game.

She lures the Saboteur into the lab for a “motocross race.” What he/it doesn’t know is 2 people on her team are going to join her to destroy it.

6. Move into her rightful place as the research leader.

She can conduct the urgent treatment on her son and prove it is successful.

Transformational events added to my four act structure.

Act 1:

Opening: Isy has discovered she can temporarily heal wounds in her Virtual Human Project.

*Own her position of knowledge and power when she engages with members of her department.

At a highly charged departmental meeting a colleague strongly suggests he should take over her project because she is too inexperienced. This is the last straw – she has more experience and knowledge than anyone in her department and decides she won’t take any more crap from them.

At the same time, a bizarre accident in a trial scenario interferes with their testing and a key team member quits.

*Become skilled at operating inside the VHP lab as its developer.

During the test of a rock climbing scenario, the climbing rope is apparently cut and the tester “falls to the ground” – only 2 feet, but he felt he was falling from a great height. She doesn’t have any idea how this could happen and begins testing the training scenarios herself to push the technology.

Inciting Incident: An androgenous figure dressed in black randomly robs a local convenience store where Isy’s son Roberto is shot and sustains a life threatening spinal injury. He will die without her Virtual Healing intervention, but she can only make temporary repairs and can’t figure out why.

*See the Saboteur’s power and its intent to destroy her.

An apparent random robbery at a local convenience store leaves her son with a spinal injury. The perpetrator looks like the figure in her office.

Turning Point: Isy is close to finding the answer (for her son) when a similar figure in black gains entry to their secure environment. It causes a crash in the virtual test of a motocross race scenario and comes close to seriously injuring Isy.

Act 2:

New plan: Focus on finding out how and why someone is sabotaging the Virtual Human Program (VHP); investigate possible suspects that would have something to gain by destroying her project

Plan in action: Initially Isy and her team simply react to incidents – repair the damage; work backwards to figure out how it happened; develop possible reasons for why, eg. if find a programming glitch when running a test recreate the work, double check accuracy and then determine who could be responsible, who would benefit (?government, ?military, ?industry)

Turning Point/Midpoint: The figure in black is in the real world (is it the same one at the convenience store? What does this mean for VHP and real world cross-overs?) and sitting at Isy’s desk when she arrives for work. It threatens her and her son’s lives. Review of their security records reveal a shadowy black figure physically in the lab as well as on multiple computer monitors.

*Recognize the Virtual Human Project has the potential to develop in more complex ways outside her current experience.

She finds a Virtual Human – an androgenous figure – dressed in black sitting in her office. It makes threats to destroy her. It shouldn’t be able to exist outside the lab.

Act 3:

Rethink everything: Isy realizes she needs ideas from the whole team and includes them in developing a plan to catch the infamous “ghost in the machine.” Start to think seriously about who might be doing this and why. Rules out the military who it turns out are funding part of her research.

New plan: Upgrade physical and electronic security. Develop a plan for taking down/attacking the figure in black. Team members start round the clock monitoring of the virtual and physical spaces; reset access codes to the VHP

Turning Point 3: Huge failure / Major shift: Isy attempts to temporarily repair Roberto’s spine damage to give her more time to find the error that’s preventing a permanent change. The figure in black interferes in the treatment and nearly kills Roberto.

Act 4:

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Isy is again attacked in a virtual test of an extreme sport. But this time she’s ready and aggressively knocks out it’s race car, sending it crashing to the side in flames.

*Defeat the Saboteur at its own game.

She lures the Saboteur into the lab for a “motocross race.” What he/it doesn’t know is 2 people on her team are going to join her to destroy it.

Resolution: At the last moment Isy repairs Roberto’s spine.

*Move into her rightful place as the research leader.

She can complete the urgent treatment on her son and prove it is successful.

[Marilynne Hebert]

Marilynne’s 4 Act Transformational Structure

What I learned doing this assignment is that it is challenging to keep “upping the stakes” without relying on more of the same strategies.

First draft of my 4 Act Transformational Structure.

Concept: After discovering she can heal human injuries in a Virtual Reality program a future researcher is unable to complete the treatment to save her son.

Main Conflict: An unknown saboteur wants control of the new technology and will do anything to get it, including killing the researcher and her son.

Researcher OLD Ways:

1. Doesn’t question authority figures; lets others determine her path

2. Dedicated and driven to doing the best research in the world

3. Unable to see how a past wound prevents her from succeeding

Researcher NEW Ways:

1. Self-confident, not afraid to voice her opinion and “kick ass” where she needs to

2. Recognizes her team’s knowledge and skills

3. Released from her wound and able to focus on moving forward

Act 1:

Opening: Isy discovers she can temporarily heal wounds in her Virtual Human Project. A bizarre accident in a trial scenario interferes with her testing and a key team member quits. <s></s>

Inciting Incident: An androgenous figure dressed in black randomly robs a local convenience store where Isy’s son Roberto is shot and sustains a life threatening spinal injury. He will die without her Virtual Healing intervention, but she can only make temporary repairs and can’t figure out why.

Turning Point: Isy is close to finding the answer (for her son) when a similar figure in black gains entry to their secure environment. It causes a crash in the virtual test of a motocross race scenario and comes close to seriously injuring Isy.

Act 2:

New plan: Focus on finding out how and why someone is sabotaging the Virtual Human Program (VHP); investigate possible suspects that would have something to gain by destroying her project

Plan in action: Initially Isy and her team simply react to incidents – repair the damage; work backwards to figure out how it happened; develop possible reasons for why, eg. if find a programming glitch when running a test recreate the work, double check accuracy and then determine who could be responsible, who would benefit (?government, ?military, ?industry)

Turning Point/Midpoint: The figure in black is in the real world (is it the same one at the convenience store? What does this mean for VHP and real world cross-overs?) and sitting at Isy’s desk when she arrives for work. It threatens her and her son’s lives. Review of their security records reveal a shadowy black figure physically in the lab as well as on multiple computer monitors.

Act 3:

Rethink everything: Isy realizes she needs ideas from the whole team and includes them in developing a plan to catch the infamous “ghost in the machine.” Start to think seriously about who might be doing this and why. Rules out the military who it turns out are funding part of her research.

New plan: Upgrade physical and electronic security. Develop a plan for taking down/attacking the figure in black. Team members start round the clock monitoring of the virtual and physical spaces; reset access codes to the VHP

Turning Point 3: Huge failure / Major shift: Isy attempts to temporarily repair Roberto’s spine damage to give her more time to find the error that’s preventing a permanent change. The figure in black interferes in the treatment and nearly kills Roberto.

Act 4:

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Isy is again attacked in a virtual test of an extreme sport. But this time she’s ready and aggressively knocks out it’s race car, sending it crashing to the side in flames.

Resolution: At the last moment Isy repairs Roberto’s spine.

[Marilynne Hebert]

Marilynne’s Character Interviews

What I learned doing this assignment is there is always something more to learn about people and characters.

DR. ISY DORIAN (Protagonist)

She is generally well-liked, but she’s not afraid of a little competition. She expects people to play fair and she’s not good at fighting “dirty.”

Her discovery is very important and can improve the lives of many people. Its success becomes critical to her personally when her son is injured, and she learns what it means to really invest everything. She is stronger, more resilient, and tougher than she’s given herself credit for.

Isy trained as both a surgeon and research scientist. She’s been working in the Virtual Human Project for several years and really does know what she’s doing. She sticks to a project – to a fault sometimes – until it is complete. When she’s confronted with an enemy, she fights back.

While she says being successful is not about being famous… it kind of is. She hates to be tied to money but unless she has funding, the research isn’t going anywhere.

Isy’s not very tall and this leads people to make assumptions about her power or abilities. She’s not what people usually think of as “bad ass” but when her family is threatened, look out! She pulls out all the stops.

She’s a perfectionist, which gets in the way of being a good team player. She takes over every time she’s in a group – any group – at home, work, or games. She begins to recognize it’s time to be more willing to collaborate, to harness everyone’s strengths so they can make progress.

MYSTERIOUS SABOTEUR (Antagonist)

They/it have no idea what ethics or morals have to do with technology and changing people’s lives.

Their values are firmly in the camp of power, status and money. They/it feel entitled to owning and profiting from the best discoveries. They are not above industrial espionage, sabotage or being as ruthless.

[Marilynne Hebert]

Marilynne’s Character Profile Part 2

What I learned doing this assignment is… I was still happy with most of Part 1 characteristics, but could also see a few areas to improve; like the incremental changes

Dr. ISY DORIAN (Protagonist)

Part 2 Profile

<div>What draws
us to this character? She has
tremendous potential and everyone around her (co-workers, friends, family)
wants her to succeed – to burst through all the barriers that are holding
her back

</div><div>

Traits: She is brilliant and quickly solves
any problems that come her way; but she also has little patience for
people who don’t try or do sloppy work; she tends to either work by herself
or take over the leadership of any group she’s in

</div><div>

Subtext: even though externally she appears
to be going along with what is expected of her, she is driven her to do better,
be more successful

Flaw: nothing less than perfection is
good enough; this weakness causes her to sabotage her own projects or
react negatively to her staff if they are not perfect

</div>

Values: her own abilities; honesty and integrity are more important than being happy; wants discoveries to be widely available and not become a profit making venture

Irony: technology failed to save her mother because her family couldn’t afford the treatment; yet she chose a career developing technology to save people and the measure of success is profit; deciding which side of technology she is on causes internal conflict

What makes
this the right character for this role? This
character has the drive and ability to succeed but needs to reach a place
where she believes this to be true, but also recognizes she needs others
on her team

Part 1 Profile

Role in the story: Hero/Dreamer. Scientist with tremendous potential to successfully discover and create new unimagined ways of curing injuries and illness. Lacks the self-confidence and determination/drive to make it happen.

Age Range and Description: Female, early 30’s. She’s not as fit as she could be and instead spends most of her time in the lab. She feels guilty for all this time away from her eight-year old son who lives with his father.

Internal Journey: From feeling unsure of her abilities and afraid of success to demanding her rightful place as an exceptional researcher

External Journey: From a quiet introvert who lets others take credit for her success to a strong, capable leader

Motivation: relieve suffering, make a difference in the world

Wound: when Isy was a teenager, a technology and treatment were available to prevent her mother’s sudden death. But they were not affordable, and she vowed to create technology that would be freely available.

Mission/Agenda: to push the Virtual Human Project as far as human and technologically possible

Secret: only a few key people on her Research Team know about the healing potential she discovered in the Virtual Human Project.

What makes Isy special is her potential to be very successful when she can fully embrace her abilities

MYSTERIOUS SABOTEUR (Antagonist)

Part 2 Profile

What draws us to this character? The very technology she is developing becomes her worst enemy. She must fend off both real and virtual characters.

Traits: relentless, creative, seems to have unlimited resources in devising new traps/errors in the programming, can assume an unnerving human persona (dressed in black, no discernible facial features)

Subtext: along with each act of sabotage is a message that Isy will lose, so give up now

Flaw: this character is so sure they/it will win, they don’t pay attention or notice where Isy is gaining on them

Values: money, getting ahead at any cost

Irony: ?? can’t see this one yet

What makes this the right character for this role? It remains unclear who is behind the sabotage and the villain hides behind and within the technology, making them/it more difficult to fight back against

Part 1 Profile

Role in the story: Villain, preys on all Isy’s fears

Age range and Description: seemingly from within the technology it sabotages her efforts including creating “glitches” in the Artificial Human Project that cause harm to the subjects as well as destroy Isy’s belief in herself and importance of the work she is doing.

Internal Journey: sabotage begins as covert and becomes overt

External Journey: sabotage moves from inside the VHP system to the real world

Motivation: greed and control

Wound: Lost power and authority in the industry

Mission/Agenda: to simultaneously steal the programming secrets and ensure Isy fails

Secret: identity remains unknown

What makes them/it special? Able to re-create an avatar from the Virtual Human Program that can exist in the real world

[Marilynne Hebert]

Marilynne’s Character Profiles Part 1

Dr. ISY DORIAN (Protagonist)

Role in the story: Hero/Dreamer. Scientist with tremendous potential to successfully discover and create new unimagined ways of curing injuries and illness. Lacks the self-confidence and determination/drive to make it happen.

Age Range and Description: Female, early 30’s. She’s not as fit as she could be and instead spends most of her time in the lab. She feels guilty for all this time away from her eight-year old son who lives with his father.

Internal Journey: From feeling unsure of her abilities and afraid of success to demanding her rightful place as an exceptional researcher<s></s>

External Journey: From a quiet introvert who lets others take credit for her success to a strong, capable leader<s></s>

Motivation: relieve suffering, make a difference in the world

Wound: when Isy was a teenager, technology was supposed to prevent her mother’s sudden death. But it failed and she vowed to create something that would save people as promised.

Mission/Agenda: to push the Virtual Human Project as far as human and technologically possible

Secret: only a few key people on her Research Team know about the healing potential she discovered in the Virtual Human Project.

What makes Isy special is her potential to be very successful when she can fully embraces her abilities

MYSTERIOUS SABOTEUR (Antagonist)

Role in the story: Villain, preys on all Isy’s fears

Age range and Description: seemingly from within the technology they/it sabotage her efforts including creating “glitches” in the Artificial Human Project that cause harm to the subjects as well as destroy Isy’s belief in herself and importance of the work she is doing.

Internal Journey: sabotage begins as covert and becomes overt

External Journey: sabotage moves from inside the VR system to the real world

Motivation: greed and control

Wound: Lost power

Mission/Agenda: to simultaneously steal the programming secrets and ensure Isy fails

Secret: identity remains unknown

What makes them special? Able to re-create an avatar from the Virtual Human Program in the real world

SUPPORTING CHARACTERS

Three research team members

Roberto – Isy’s 8-year old son

GENRE

Sci-Fi: Big change threatens the status quo of the current world

Isy’s success would destroy the established world order for providing treatments and also be very lucrative – while she isn’t interested in either of these goals, there are others in her world who are.

[Marilynne Hebert]

Marilynne’s Transformational Journey

What I learned doing this assignment is… I realized my hero must learn how to empower herself to live her best, and most fulfilled life.

STORY – In a future Virtual Human Project, subjects physically become their avatars and Dr. Isy discovers she can temporarily repair injuries in their virtual state. By the end of the movie, she is driven to find a way to make repairs permanent, while fighting every obstacle in her path including those who don’t want her to succeed.

My hero is an exceptional researcher who doesn’t see her own potential for success and how powerful her research can be.

Internal Journey: From feeling unsure of her abilities and afraid of success to demanding her rightful place as an exceptional researcher<s></s>

External Journey: From a quiet introvert who lets others take credit for her success to a strong, capable leader<s></s>

Isy OLD Ways:

1. Doesn’t question authority figures

2. Dedicated and driven to be the best researcher in her field

3. Unable to see how a past wound prevents her from succeeding

Isy NEW Ways:

1. Self-confident and not afraid to voice her opinion

2. Takes credit for her amazing work; she is recognized for her accomplishments

3. Released from her wound

[Marilynne Hebert]

Hi,

We’ve recently installed a murphy bed in my home office for visiting family (a whole screenplay in itself). I had to clean out about a 1/3 of my “very precious” stuff in there, and discovered over 10 years I’d written 6-7 screenplays and a couple of stage plays along the way. 1 screenplay was optioned and 1 stage play was selected for a public reading.

Have been working on an idea for a number of years and never get to finishing it. What I hope to get out of the class is to finally cross that finish line.

I’ve been an academic writer for many years and fiction writing requires some re-arranging of the neurons to tell the stories in my head.

I look forward to meeting you and sharing/gaining insights to help make all of our work better!

Marilynne

[Marilynne Hebert]

Marilynne Hebert

I agree to the terms of this release form.

[Marilynne Hebert]

Your personal challenge sounds tough. Sending you encouragement.

[Marilynne Hebert]

I really liked your metaphors, particularly the one about sunglasses. Wonder how many people use them to hide behind?

[Marilynne Hebert]

I liked the way you included your responses in the context of your script. Excellent idea!

[Marilynne Hebert]

I think your story is shaping up nicely! You’ve come up with some good counterexamples.

[Marilynne Hebert]

I liked this profound observation: “The truth does not change with time.” It made me stop and think!

This is a close knit family with critical family events happening. It seems they experience/share some of the old and new ways together, rather than being individual experiences. Not something I had thought about before.

[Marilynne Hebert]

Bob,

I thought Malvolio might get stuck in his escalating revenge schemes! I like the way you are helping him find ways to change.

[Marilynne Hebert]

This really is an inspiring speech and really captures what transformation is about. I also saved it for future consideration in my character Chloe’s change from old to new ways. She is looking for something outside of herself to make the change for her.

[Marilynne Hebert]

I also appreciated your insight into the parallels of deprogramming and old vs new ways

[Marilynne Hebert]

Zappa seems like an interesting person in Judge Ken’s life. Do you see him having any role in changing Judge Ken’s life?

[Marilynne Hebert]

Thanks Joan,

You’re right this story comes out of my experience – both as an ER/ICU nurse and health researcher. I’ve been fortunate to teach African graduate students who were keen to improve their heath care system.

So much to learn about being in another culture! Not sure my story reflects the anxiety, passion and excitement yet.

[Marilynne Hebert]

I guess that’s what I found intriguing and a little scary! Seems relatively easy to believe a star chamber could exist given the current political and “fake news” environment.

[Marilynne Hebert]

I’m a great fan of historical fiction, especially around this time period.

I like the way you keep escalating the challenges.

[Marilynne Hebert]

Your story is coming together nicely with the escalating revenge. I was thinking “YIKES!” Don’t get on the wrong side of Malvolio.

[Marilynne Hebert]

I can feel the tension rising!

[Marilynne Hebert]

Interesting story coming together. I’m curious about the notion of a “star chamber.” From an online definition I can see where it was found in history, but does this sort of thing still exist?

[Marilynne Hebert]

Interested in who the Betraying Character will be! Her Spanish conquistador?

[Marilynne Hebert]

Thanks Bob. Still a work in progress!!

One thing that remains unclear to me is whether the lead character is expected to experience the “emotional gradient of change” sequence as outlined in the notes or the emotions and sequence vary based on the story.

Cheers😎 (this emoji is my coffee mug)

[Marilynne Hebert]

Appreciate your sentiments!

[Marilynne Hebert]

I was intrigued by your story having a transformable character become a change agent for someone else.

[Marilynne Hebert]

I liked the opportunity to understand a culture’s expectations through the roles of your 4 characters.

[Marilynne Hebert]

Interesting and unique journey for your characters.

[Marilynne Hebert]

Interesting observation about scenes saying the same thing, without a gradient of change. New learning for me too!

[Marilynne Hebert]

Sounds like an interesting story!

[Marilynne Hebert]

Really like how this is developing.

[Marilynne Hebert]

I agree. A bleak revenge story where nobody wins. A man who plays the fiddle cuts off all his fingers and one of his fingers kills his former friend’s pet goat. Seriously…

[Marilynne Hebert]

I really like your profound truth!

[Marilynne Hebert]

Thanks Joan – please get up on that soapbox anytime. I agree with you!!

I was not trying to take anything away from your idea but more trying to think about the issue you are describing from the opposite perspective of people who advocate for “choice.” For example, when someone joins a cult outsiders (family and friends) assume they should be rescued and deprogrammed, removing choice from the individual. Your antagonist might be someone who takes the perspective that free-will is more important than safety and you need to fight against him or her in getting your funding.

Just a thought – take it or leave it.

[Marilynne Hebert]

Hebert is a French name (pronounced Ay-bear) but I can never figure out how to add the accent! My husband’s family came over to Old Montreal in the 1600’s.

[Marilynne Hebert]

Just wondering… is your profound truth related to ethics or choice connected to deprogramming?

[Marilynne Hebert]

I wonder if there is something even more profound in your story about using the past to change the future??

[Marilynne Hebert]

I also enjoyed Hal’s breakdown of “Everything, Everywhere,” which inspired me to start thinking about writing more profound stories – like the ones I like to watch and read.

[Marilynne Hebert]

I had to go back and read that again, “reading the Classics in their original Ancient Greek.” There has got to be a story in that… time travel!!

[Marilynne Hebert]

Wow! Hope one of your stories is about your boat ride to Indonesia.

[Marilynne Hebert]

We had a chance to visit Oregon last fall and drive along the beautiful coast. It was inspiring. Hope your mom is well enough to take short journeys with you.

[Marilynne Hebert]

It seems to me that this course will help us build meaning into the story through writing about a transformational journey. Hopefully this is the key you need to move forward!

[Marilynne Hebert]

5 girls: 1dad – sound like a comedy in the making!

[Marilynne Hebert]

Hi,

I love Llamas but understand they are cuter than their personalities suggest!

[Marilynne Hebert]

I hope you receive the encouragement you need through participating in this course and meeting like-minded (struggling!) writers.