[Mark Hawk]

Mark Hawk’s Outline

What I learned doing this assignment is that there are a multitude of ways to create an outline and not fight a new process that I’m not familiar with.

Title: IN THE ICE

GENRE: Sci-Fi

Logline: When an unknown substance is discovered in an ice core a power struggle for control of it threatens the lives of everyone involved.

OUTLINE:

ACT I

INT. COMMUNICATIONS ROOM – DAY

Toni sits at the communications console of the research station, writing down information about the group of Ecotourists that will be arriving within the hour.

INT. DRILL ROOM – DAY

Marta guides the core drill pipe as Reggie looks over Brian’s shoulder as he operates the drill controls.

Brian operates the controls of a core drill. He’s becoming increasingly annoyed that Reggie keeps looking over his shoulder.

Reggie stands beside Brian as he operates the core drill controls.

Leo walks into the main drill area as Brian operates the controls.

Marta notices that there is an odd vibration in the core drilling pipe and tells Brian.

Brian thinks the drill may be hitting a suspended rock in the ice, but both he and Marta can tell that the situation is getting worse.

Brian stops the drill, and both Leo and Reggie tell him to start back up.

Brian ignores them and starts raising the core drilling pipe.

Toni walks into the room and tells Leo that the Ecotourists will be arriving in two hours. Leo resents having to take part in these tours because they take away from project work.

INT./EXT. PASSENGER DRONE – DAY

Jeffery rides in a front seat of a four-person air drone as they make their way to an Antarctic research facility. He’s making this trip after bumping someone else off the trip so that he can be near Carol.

Simone rides in the other front seat of the air drone.

Carol rides in a rear seat of the air drone. She’s making this trip to see what is occurring at the site that is generating so much secrecy.

Simone lies about how many times she has been on ecotourist trips but keeps asking questions about what is going to happen.

Need more interactions between Carol, Jeffery, and Simone to create the conflicts and personalities.

EXT. LANDING PAD – DAY

Carol, Jeffery, and Simone land in an arial drone on the Research Stations landing pad.

Toni greets them and leads them into the station.

INT. HALLWAY – DAY

Leo’s back is visible in the doorway of the drill room.

Toni leads Carol, Jeffery, and Simone and introduces them to Leo.

Leo turns and invites the group into the drill room.

INT. DRILL ROOM – DAY

Leo gives a brief explanation into what occurs in the room.

Reggie notices the guests. She can’t help but introduce herself to Carol and tells her that she is her idol.

Jeffery can’t help himself and snorts in disbelief.

Add more dynamics between Carol and Jeffery.

During the welcome at the research facility, Jeffery interrupts and talks over Carol when she tries to introduce herself. When she tries to politely tell Jeffery that he is interrupting her, Jeffery becomes more aggressively dismissive. She has only been treated like this by one man in her life, and she makes a note to watch Jeffery carefully.

Drill makes ominous sounds.

Marta yells that there are massive vibrations on the drill pipe.

Brian stops the drill and begins raising it.

Brian tells Leo that the equipment is not working properly and that he cannot guarantee anyone’s safety.

Leo thinks he just can’t figure out why it won’t work and asks Marta.

Brian tells Leo that if he says it won’t work, it won’t work.

Marta agrees with Brian.

The drill rigging stalls and lurches trying to raise the last coring pipe. Brian and Marta switch places and the ground starts to rumble.

Marta tells Brian that she is noticing odd flickers on equipment as the coring pipe is being raised.

Brian is able to get the coring drill out of the core shaft and Marta starts lowering it flat onto the ice.

Brian turns and starts to approach the drill hole when the lights flicker and the drill pipe suddenly swings violently and impales Brian in the abdomen, killing him.

ACT II

INT. DRILL ROOM – DAY

Carol is repulsed by the sight of Brian’s body and leaves the drill room, followed closely by Reggie and Jeffery.

Toni tries to comfort Leo as he stands in shock not knowing what to do.

Marta begins the process of documenting what happens.

Simone looks around and asks what she can do to help.

Toni takes Leo out of the drill room.

Simone asks Marta if she can help her, but Marta turns down the help.

Marta is filled with conflicted emotions. She is sad that her boss has just died and is fuming that Leo, Reggie, and Toni all left the room.

Marta extracts the coring pipe from Brian’s lifeless body and setting it on the ground next to him.

She places Brian into a body bag and seals it up when she hears a humming sound that she can’t quite find, but appears to be coming from the coring pipe.

Marta carefully packages the ice core into a sleeve and discovers a dark material in the ice.

INT. HALLWAY – DAY

Marta runs into Toni just outside the drill room door.

Toni says that all communications are down, even satellite.

Marta tells Toni to get Leo and Reggie and ask them to come to the drill room.

INT. DRILL ROOM

Leo enters the drill room.

Marta shows him what she has found in the ice core.

Lights flicker as Leo and Marta pick up the ice core and take it to the storage room.

INT. CORE ROOM – DAY

Leo and Marta place the ice core on a long table.

Reggie enters and offers to help Leo as Marta tries to find out why the lights are flickering.

Marta runs into Carol and Simone in the doorway.

Carol asks if they can observe what is happening.

Marta is about to answer when Jeffery pushes through them into the room.

Leo believes that the unknown substance is organic or naturally occurring, but has no clue what it is.

INT. HALLWAY – DAY

Power fluctuations and faults impact all of the support systems, including heating.

Marta is forced to focus on correcting the issues and starts to hear buzzing anytime she is near the unknown substance.

No one else hears the buzzing.

INT. CORE ROOM – DAY

Carol tries to ask Leo questions, but he says that he really needs to focus on what he is looking at.

Reggie offers to answer any questions she has.

Toni watches everyone, trying to stay out of the way.

Carol learns from Reggie that the research is at an impasse because Leo is overly cautious about anything. Carol learns that Reggie has been working with an outside organization to take over the project.

Reggie tries to present herself to Carol as someone who is destined for something greater, but Carol seems cordial and doesn’t respond to Reggie’s tactics.

Leo calls Reggie and Toni over to give them an update on what he is seeing.

Leo insists that the unknown substance is some kind of unknown primordial substance, but Reggie and Toni disagree given that there is ice above and below it.

They examine it under a microscope and cannot see anything close to an organic compound.

Toni suggests that the unknown substance should be sent to McMurdo for further testing.

Leo wants to wait and perform a few more tests.

Reggie agrees with Toni, but Leo says that it’s his call to make.

The lights start to flicker again and a faint rumbling can be felt.

Leo asks Reggie to get Marta.

Reggie leaves, followed by Jeffery.

INT. EQUIPMENT ROOM – DAY

Reggie tells Marta that Leo wants to see her.

Marta says that things aren’t going to be fixed if he keeps acting like this.

Reggie tells Marta that Leo’s convinced himself that the substance is something natural and not to worry.

Marta tells Reggie that this substance is not like anything she has ever seen, especially the way the equipment behaves. It also hums, but Reggie says she doesn’t hear it.

INT. HALLWAY – DAY

Marta and Reggie leave the equipment room.

Marta heads for the core room and passes Jeffery.

Jeffery asks if they are in any danger.

Reggie says ‘no’, but Marta says ‘not yet’.

Jeffery stops Reggie and quietly offers her an obscene amount of money in return for the unknown substance.

Simone is standing in the doorway of the core room and sees Jeffery and Reggie having a quiet discussion in the hallway.

INT. CORE ROOM – DAY

Simone looks into the room and notices Toni watching her, which makes her feel uncomfortable.

Marta enters the room and Leo approaches her.

Leo tells Marta that she needs to get the electrical issues fixed as soon as possible.

Marta says that she’s working on it when she sees Toni pick up the unknown substance.

When Marta asks what Toni is doing, Leo turns around and tells Toni to put the substance down.

Toni apologizes, and Leo tells her to check to see if communications are still down.

INT. COMMUNICATIONS ROOM – DAY

Toni secretly sends an update and receives a coded response indicating that she is to take the unknown substance and deliver it to a contact.

Communications go out before she can send confirmation.

INT. CORE ROOM – DAY

Leo and Reggie talk about what should be done with the sample, and an argument starts about who is actually in charge.

Carol tries to calm both of them down, but Leo tells her to stay out of it.

Jeffery takes advantage of the argument and deftly walks to the container of the unknown substance, places into the pocket of his jacket, then leaves the room while the argument is still in full swing.

EXT. LANDING PAD – DAY

Jeffery makes his way to the drone and climbs inside.

INT. CORE ROOM – DAY

Marta has come into the room and has calmed Leo and Reggie down just as ground begins to rumble loudly.

Reggie looks around, then bolts out the door.

EXT. LANDING PAD – DAY

Reggie runs out and tries to crawl into the drone just as the doors start to close, but is pinned by the door.

Marta and the others walk out of the station door as the ground rumbles louder.

The drone climbs 30 feet, then pitches violently flies directly into the ground.

Jeffery and Reggie are dead.

ACT III

INT. CORE ROOM – DAY

The ground stops rumbling quite so much.

Carol and Leo get into a heated argument about what should be done now that three people have died in a matter of hours.

EXT. LANDING PAD – DAY

The bodies of Jeffery and Reggie are recovered by Marta, Toni, and Simone.

Simone witnesses Toni finding the unknown substance and hiding it in her pocket.

Carol tells Leo that the discussion is far from over just as Marta, Toni, and Simone approach.

Carol walks to the door to the station and opens it.

An alarm can be heard, and Toni says that it’s the weather alarm.

INT. HALLWAY – DAY

Toni heads for the communications room as the others head to the Mess Hall.

INT. MESS HALL – DAY

Carol tries to make a call using her satellite phone, but cannot get a signal.

Simone asks Marta if she’s okay.

Toni walks in carrying the printout from the weather warning console and tells everyone that there is an impending storm approaching which should hit in the next two hours.

Marta and Leo don’t understand how the weather warning could have been received if all communication is out.

Carol asks what needs to be done to get ready, and Marta says that everything needs to be secured.

Marta wonders if the weather communications receiver could be reprogrammed to transmit a distress call.

Carol tells Marta that it can wait until after the station has been secured.

Leo takes exception to Carol issuing orders, but Carol puts him in his place quickly.

Carol splits people into teams. One team composed of Carol, Leo, and Simone. The other team composed of Marta and Toni.

PLACEHOLDER – EVENING

The teams start securing the station.

INT. MESS HALL – NIGHT

Everyone gathers in the Mess Hall after securing the station.

Simone starts to ask about whether this could all be caused by that unknown substance.

Leo scoffs at the notion.

Toni wonders if she was seen pocketing the unknown substance.

Marta suggests that at this stage anything is possible.

Everything goes black as the electricity fails, which should not be possible.

Marta, Leo, and Toni pull mini flashlights from their pockets.

Marta starts to head out the door and asks Toni to help her.

INT. EQUIPMENT ROOM – NIGHT

Marta and Toni go into the equipment room to see if they can troubleshoot the electrical issues and discover that everything should be working.

Marta sends Toni to the drill room for some equipment.

Marta begins to think that Toni is taking too long with the equipment and leaves to help her.

INT. DRILL ROOM – NIGHT

Marta discovers that Toni packing gear like she is leaving.

Marta asking Toni loudly where she is going draws everyone else to the drill room.

Toni says she is leaving.

Simone asks if she’s taking the unknown substance.

Toni claims ignorance, but Simone says it’s in her pocket.

Toni finally pulls the unknown substance out of her pocket with one hand and a gun in the other.

Toni says that she’s leaving no matter what.

When she tries to leave by backing through a doorway outside, the unknown substance in her pocket expands rapidly into a long spear shape, piercing Toni up through the head.

Toni drops to the ground dead as the unknown substance quickly contracts into a non-threatening shape.

ACT IV

INT. MESS HALL – NIGHT

Carol finally convinces Leo that the unknown substance should be removed and closely studied in one of her facilities.

Marta doesn’t agree and explains that the unknown substance behaves more like a machine than something organic based on her experience.

Leo asks her how in the hell she would know anything about that.

Marta lowers her eyes, and Carol asks why she doesn’t agree.

Marta presents her observations in precise order.

Leo asks where she gained that type of knowledge, Marta admits that it was the way she was taught when she was obtaining her PhD in Applied Physics.

Leo is flabbergasted.

Marta suggests that the unknown substance may be part of something bigger and recommends that they try placing down the core drill hole.

Simone asks who’s going to retrieve the unknown substance from Toni’s body.

Marta volunteers.

INT. DRILL ROOM NIGHT

Marta walks into the drill room and approaches Toni’s body.

The ground begins to rumble as she removes the unknown substance from Toni’s pocket.

The rumbling stops as Marta stands facing the drill hole.

She looks at the unknown substance and hears a humming coming from it.

She asks if anyone else can hear the hum, but no one does.

The ground begins to rumble and violently shake.

Marta walks to the drill hole as carefully as possible and drops the unknown substance into it.

The rumbling and ground movement immediately stops.

Electricity comes back on, and communications have been restored.

INT. COMMUNICATIONS ROOM – NIGHT

Marta contacts McMurdo and informs them that there have been three deaths and that immediate rescue is needed.

McMurdo tells them that 2 drones are going to be sent as soon as the weather clears, which should be in about 6 hours.

EXT. LANDING PAD – NIGHT

Marta, Leo, Carol, and Simone board an emergency drone that has just arrived and safely leave the site.

[Mark Hawk]

Mark Hawk’s Budget

What I learned from this lesson is that budget considerations shouldn’t impact that much on the story being told, but could create a lazy situation where you could add unnecessary scenes or shots that don’t add to the story.

1. Variables that might decrease the budget:

Eliminate Simone from the story.

Change the drill room floor upheaval to use camera shake.

Remove all external shots.

2. Variables that could be added if budget was quadrupled:

All shots to be on a special sound stage for interior shots.

Add shots of Carol, Jeffery, and Simone getting on the drone taxi and interaction between them on the journey to the research station.

Add special effects of the drone taxis arriving with Carol, Jeffery, and Simone.

Add helicopter or drone shots of drone taxis landing and leaving the station.

Add special effects on the unknown substance that breaks into multiple pieces and reassembles itself.

Add wind and snow shots outside while stacking the dead bodies.

[Mark Hawk]

Mark Hawk’s Writes Great Hope/Fear!

What I learned doing this assignment is that the construction of Hope/Fear beats is the basis for the story beats! Without setting up the emotional conflict and evolution, there is nothing.

ACT I

Hope

Leo, Reggie, Toni, Brian, and Marta are in the drill room.

Brian operates the controls as Reggie looks over his shoulder.

Leo reviews his clipboard as Reggie calls out depth numbers.

Marta stands next to the drill pipe with one hand on it as it rotates.

Triggering each other

Leo becomes increasingly annoyed by Reggie looking over his shoulder as he knows how far down to drill.

Reggie argues that Leo doesn’t want her to know what he’s doing with the drill.

Hope

Leo tells everyone to follow the established procedures and stop complaining.

Toni walks into the drill room and reminds Leo that a drone carrying ecotourists will be landing in an hour.

What is Leo afraid of?

Leo groans that he forgot they were scheduled to arrive today and really doesn’t want to deal with them. The problem is that he needs to accommodate them to keep the funding of the project flowing.

Hope

Carol, Jeffery, and Simone land in a self-flying drone on the landing pad near a second drone.

They are met by Toni and escorted in.

Clash of Personas

Jeffery presents himself as leader of the group, but Carol calmly reminds him that there are no leaders on this trip and that they are there simply to observe.

Jeffery tells Carol to mind her own business and orders Toni to take them inside.

Hope

Toni gives the group a quick tour of the facility and walks them into the drill room.

Threat

Drill makes ominous sounds. Marta yells that there are massive vibrations on the drill pipe. Brian stops the drill and begins raising it.

Hope

The atmosphere in the drill room changes to relaxation as core

ACT I: Death

The drill rigging stalls and lurches trying to raise the last coring pipe. Brian and Marta switch places and the ground starts to rumble. Brian forces the coring pipe away from the shaft but the drill pipe slams into Brian and pins him into the coring shaft.

Brian dies when the coring bit skewers him.

ACT II

Hope: New Plan

An investigation into the accident changes all plans.

Threat

All communications are lost with the outside world just before an unknown substance is discovered in the ice core pipe that impaled Brian.

Hope

Two mysteries are now being investigated. One is why Brian was killed and the other is what the mystery substance is.

Opposing Needs/Desires

With Leo and Marta focused on their separate investigations, Jeffery starts hatching a plan to take control of the unknown substance.

Hope

Leo believes that the unknown substance is organic in nature but has no clue what it is.

Dangerous

Power fluctuations and faults impact all the support systems, including heating. Marta is forces to focus on correcting the issues and starts to hear buzzing anytime she is near the unknown substance. No one else hears the buzzing.

Hope

Carol stays close to Marta to make sure she isn’t becoming unstable because of the death of her boss.

Opposing Needs/Desires

Jeffery promises Reggie an obscene amount of money to steal the unknown substance. Jeffery steals the unknown substance during an argument between Leo and Reggie.

ACT II: Midpoint Turning Point: Death

Jeffery silently leaves the station and boards the drone transport.

Reggie realizes what is happening and rushes out to get onto the transport just as it begins to take off.

The drone suddenly flips over and slams into the ground.

Jeffery and Reggie are dead.

ACT III

Hope

The ground stops rumbling, but Carol and Leo start to argue on what should be done with the sample.

Horror

The bodies of Jeffery and Reggie are recovered and stored with the body of Brian outside of the station. Simone witnesses Toni finding the unknown substance and hiding it in a pocket.

Hope

Everyone returns inside the station.

Warning

Toni tells everyone that an automated weather warning message was received about an impending storm approaching but all other communications are still down – even satellite communications.

Hope

Everyone starts securing the station for the storm, and Marta wonders if the weather communications receiver can be reprogrammed to transmit a message.

Trapped

Everyone is getting on everyone else’s nerves, but no one wants to go into the drill room.

Everything goes black as the electricity fails, which should not be possible.

Danger

Marta and Toni go into the equipment room to see if they can troubleshoot the electrical issues and discover that everything should work. Marta sends Toni to the drill room for some equipment.

Hope

Toni is taking too long with the equipment. Marta finds Toni packing gear like she is leaving. Marta’s voice draws everyone else to the drill room.

Out Of Control

Toni is taking too long with the equipment. Marta finds Toni packing gear like she is leaving. Marta’s voice draws everyone else to the drill room.

ACT III: TP: Huge failure/Major shift: Threat

Toni says she is leaving. Simone asks if she’s taking the sample. Toni claims ignorance, but Simone says it’s in her pocket. Toni finally pulls the sample out of her pocket with one hand and a gun in the other. She says that she’s leaving no matter what. When she tries to leave by backing through a doorway outside, the sample in her pocket expands rapidly into a long spear, piercing Toni up through the head.

Toni drops to the ground dead as the sample quickly contracts.

ACT IV

Hope: Final Plan

Carol and Leo get into an argument on what should be done next. Carol finally convinces him that it should be removed and closely studied in one of her facilities. Simone asks who’s going to retrieve the unknown sample.

Marta explains that the sample behaves more like a machine than something organic based on her experience. She finally admits that she has a PhD in Applied Physics that floors Leo. Marta suggests that the sample may be trying to return where it was taken from, and volunteers to be the one to do it.

Everyone reluctantly agrees.

Impending Doom

Marta walks into the drill room and approaches Toni’s body.

The ground begins to rumble as she removes the sample from Toni’s pocket

Hope

The rumbling stops as she stands and looks at the sample and hears the humming from it.

Threat

The ground begins to shake and starts to move.

Hope

Marta slowly walks to the drill hole and the ground movement seems to subside. She takes another look at the sample.

Danger

The ground violently moves and the rumbling increases.

Hope

Marta drops the sample into the drill hole.

The rumbling and ground movement immediately stops.

Electricity comes back on, and communications have been restored.

ACT IV: Resolution

Marta, Carol, Leo, and Simone board an emergency drone that has just arrived and leave the site.

[Mark Hawk]

Mark Hawk’s 4 Act Structure

What I learned doing this assignment is that the structure doesn’t have to be that complex for the story to continue to evolve. I know that the structure is going to continue to evolve in ways I’m not yet aware of. The story has already changed…

Concept: When an unknown substance is discovered in an ice core sample, it turns out to be an ancient alien device that will do everything to go back to where it was taken.

Main Conflict: People try to ruthlessly take control of the substance without knowing exactly what it is.

Act 1:

Opening: A research team are in the drill room of a remote Antarctic Research Outpost tasked with extracting ice core samples. A group of wealthy Ecotourists visit the facility.

Inciting Incident: The drill starts having mechanical issues when they try to take a deeper core sample just after the arrival of three wealthy ecotourists.

Turning Point: The maintenance lead is killed when he tries to force the drill core out of the shaft.

Act 2:

New plan: Try to figure out what caused the death in the drill room.

Plan in action: Leo begins the running tests on the unknown substance as Marta investigates her boss’s death.

Midpoint Turning Point: Jeffery schemes with Reggie to steal the unknown substance but are killed when they try to take one of the drones.

Act 3:

Rethink everything: Marta hears a low buzzing from the unknown substance, but no one else does. Leo insists that the sample can only be biologic in nature. An argument ensues between Carol and Leo on what is best to do with the substance.

New plan: Toni tries to steal the sample.

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: Toni is killed when the sample breaks the container she is holding and the substance transforms into a very thin spear-like shape that pierces her up and through the heart. Toni drops to the ground dead. The sample returns to a non-threatening shape.

Act 4:

Final plan: The decision is reluctantly made to return the sample to where it came from after Marta reveals her real background, and Leo defers to her expertise.

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: The ice begins to rumble and deform. Marta drops the unknown sample into the drill shaft and the rumbling stops.

Resolution: Marta, Leo, Carol, and Simone board an emergency drone that has just arrived and safely leave the site.

[Mark Hawk]

Mark Hawk’s Delivering Multiple Layers!

What I learned doing this assignment is that the details and timing of reveals can create additional conflict and friction for the story.

Plot Layers:

Surface Layer: An unknown substance is brought up in an ice core drill.

Beneath That: The substance is part of a much larger alien observation device that has been observing Earth and the evolving life.

How Revealed: The part of the alien device that was brought to the surface tries return. When it can’t accidents start happening. The mass of the alien device begins to shift and move to retrieve the portion that is on the surface.

Character Layers:

Surface Layer: Marta appears to be nothing more than a good maintenance worker. She is agreeable and easy to work with.

Beneath That: Marta has a PhD in Applied Physics from Caltech and is generally the smartest person in the room yet never displays it.

How Revealed: Marta reveals her knowledge and intelligence when she thinks out loud that the sample may not be organic in nature because of the effect it has on various electronic devices.

Location Layers:

Surface Layer: The drill room is cold with ice on the floor even though there are walls and a large, vaulted tent ceiling.

Beneath That: Down the drill shaft is the alien device that is never seen.

How Revealed: The floor of the drill room starts to deform as the alien device begins to rescue the portion that was brought up with the core sample.

[Mark Hawk]

Mark Hawk’s Character Journeys!

What I learned doing this assignment is that defining character arcs up-front can lead directly to the foundation of an outline synopsis quickly. By doing this, the story can be examined for adjustment or the character’s arcs can be adjusted to make the story more compelling.

Carol Rossman (female):

A very wealthy Eco-Patron who is always looking for ways to take advantage of any situation and doesn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

Motivation: Must always control any given situation.

Wound: Father never thought she would amount to anything because she is not male.

Subtext: She has never been involved on a personal level with anyone for very long.

Dilemma: Allowing her to enjoy her feelings versus always having to be in control.

3 Act Journey for Margaret

Beginning: Margaret rides in a rear seat of a four-person air drone as they make their way to an Antarctic research facility. She’s making this trip to see what is occurring at the site that is generating so much secrecy.

Turning Point: During the welcome at the research facility, Jeffery interrupts and talks over Margaret when she tries to introduce herself. When she tries to politely tell Jeffery that he is interrupting her, Jeffery becomes more aggressively dismissive. She has only been treated like this by one man in her life, and she makes a note to watch Jeffery carefully.

Midpoint: Learning from Marly that the research is at an impasse because Leo is overly cautious about anything. Margaret learns that Marly has been working with Jeffery to capitalize on the new discovery.

Turning Point 2: Watching the drone carrying Jeffery and the core sample containing the alien entity crash almost immediately after lifting off.

Dilemma: Margaret must decide whether she needs to take over and lead everyone through the current situation or not. If she does not, she feels that the bickering and fighting will continue and lead to more suffering. If she does, will she have the backing of everyone.

3rd Act Climax: Margret and Simone block the others as Marta drops the core sample containing the alien entity into the drill hole.

Ending: Margaret, Leo, Marta, and Simone board a drone and leave the research station.

Leonard (Leo) Brunell (male):

The lead scientist who is over-protective of their work and doesn’t like to be micro-managed. This individual is an anti-commercialist and believes that discoveries should be shared with all of humanity.

Motivation: To make a discovery that could benefit all of humanity.

Wound: Was betrayed by a past colleague on ownership of a joint-discovery.

Subtext: Does not trust easily, and definitely does not trust rich people.

Dilemma: Deciding on how to work with patrons who can fund the research projects could lead to self-sabotage.

3 Act Journey for Leo

Beginning: Leo walks into the main drill area as Brian operates the controls.

Turning Point: Leo is told that the Ecotourists will be arriving in two hours. Leo resents having to take part in these tours because they take away from project work.

Midpoint: Increasing number of system failures and a lack of answers begins to make Leo’s head spin.

Turning Point 2: Leo witnesses Brian Oglethorp, the maintenance lead, almost decapitated by a freak accident next to the drill shaft while Leo is trying to get answers out of him.

Dilemma: Leo feels that he is losing control of the situation at hand, and the research project in general. How can Leo regain the control that he feels he is losing?

3rd Act Climax: Leo discovers that Marly Sinclair has given the alien artifact sample to Jeffery Milestone against orders and protocols.

Ending: Leo, Margaret, Marta, and Simone board a drone and leave the research station.

Jeffery Milestone (Male):

A crypto billionaire who is just looking for a good time. They are looking for ways to take advantage of old-school money and will do anything to embarrass them.

Motivation: To make as much money as possible without having to do the work.

Secret: Wants to financially destroy Carol.

Wound: Was fired from a company that Carol was CEO.

Layers: Always verbally trying to joust with Carol and overwhelms anyone around him. He sucks all the oxygen out of any room he is in.

Intrigue: Tries to undermine anything he sees Carol becoming involved in.

3 Act Journey for Jeffery

Beginning: Jeffery rides in a front seat of a four-person air drone as they make their way to an Antarctic research facility. He’s making this trip after bumping someone else off the trip so that he can be near Carol.

Turning Point: Jeffery notices that Leo doesn’t like all the questions from Carol, or that Reggie seems a little too eager to provide information. He sees an opportunity to cause confusion and take advantage of the situation.

Midpoint: Jeffery overhears Marta mention to Reggie that the substance in the core sample is not behaving like anything she has ever seen. Jeffery decides to steal the sample and leave before anyone finds out.

Turning Point 2: Reggie agrees to Jeffery’s offer to pay handsomely for the alien artifact sample.

Dilemma: How is Jeffery going to be able to get the sample and leave without anyone stopping him?

3rd Act Climax: Jeffery takes the sample containing the alien artifact and tries to leave on one of the drones.

Ending: Jeffery dies in the drone crash.

Regina (Reggie) Sinclair (female):

An up-and-coming scientist who knows how to get their projects funded. Will do whatever it takes to take over projects after they have already started and run into difficulties.

Motivation: Will do anything and everything to further their career.

Secret: Has already worked out a deal to undermine Leo to take over the project.

Layers: Reluctantly took the assignment on the project after losing out on a different project.

Conflict: Has competed with Leo on different projects in the past. There is very little trust between Reggie and Leo.

Hidden Agenda: Will falsify project data to get Leo fired.

Regina (Reggie) Sinclair (female):

An up-and-coming scientist who knows how to get their projects funded. Will do whatever it takes to take over projects after they have already started and run into difficulties.

Motivation: Will do anything and everything to further their career.

Secret: Has already worked out a deal to undermine Leo to take over the project.

Layers: Reluctantly took the assignment on the project after losing out on a different project.

Conflict: Has competed with Leo on different projects in the past. There is very little trust between Reggie and Leo.

Hidden Agenda: Will falsify project data to get Leo fired.

3 Act Journey for Reggie

Beginning: Reggie stands beside Brian as he operates the core drill controls when she learns that a group of wealthy ecotourists is arriving shortly.

Turning Point: Meeting one of her idols, Carol Rossman.

Midpoint: Reggie tries to present herself to Carol as someone who is destined for something greater, but Carol seems cordial and doesn’t respond to Reggie’s tactics.

Turning Point 2: Jeffery approaches Reggie with a secret proposal and offers her an obscene amount of money in return for the alien artifact sample.

Dilemma: Does Reggie accept Jeffery’s offer and give him the sample?

3rd Act Climax: Reggie agrees to give Jeffery the sample on the condition that Jeffery takes her with him. Jeffery betrays Reggie when he quietly leaves the facility without her.

Ending: Reggie realizes what Jeffery has done and runs out to the drone pad to try and get on the drone. She is tries to open the door when the drone lifts off. Reggie’s arm is stuck in one of the support arms as the drone rises. The drone flips on its side and crashes. Reggie dies.

Simone Wilson (female):

A true ecotourist who is only there for the experience. They believe that the price they paid for the excursion is going to fund the research they are visiting. Very naive.

Motivation: To experience both science and nature in one setting.

Secret: Won a very large lottery drawing.

Wound: Ashamed about not having money until recently.

3 Act Journey for Simone

Beginning: Simone rides in a front seat of a four-person air drone as it makes its way to an Antarctic research facility.

Turning Point: Simone lies about how many times she has been on ecotourist trips but keeps asking questions about what is going to happen.

Midpoint: Simone notices that Jeffery and Reggie are planning something.

Turning Point 2: Simone catches Toni giving her a knowing look as she watches Jeffery and Reggie having a quiet conversation.

Dilemma: Who can Simone tell anyone about Jeffery and Reggie?

3rd Act Climax: Simone calls out Toni for putting the alien artifact sample from the crashed drone into her pocket and not telling anyone.

Ending: Simone, Leo, Carol, and Marta board the remaining drone and leave the research station.

Brian Oglethorp (male):

The maintenance lead who thinks there is nothing they can’t fix. Feels very uncomfortable around people who have money and looks for any reason to avoid them. Likes to be told what the problem is without any advice on how to fix it.

Motivation: To be able to fix anything.

Secret: He is bluffing his way through life by using aggression and intimidation.

Wound: Is ashamed that he doesn’t have the money or education that everyone else has.

Dilemma: He feels that if he admits he can’t figure something out he will be immediately removed and has nothing to fall back on.

3 Act Journey for Brian

Beginning: Brian operates the controls of a core drill. He’s becoming increasingly annoyed that Reggie keeps looking over his shoulder.

Turning Point: Notices that the drill is behaving odd. Over the objections of Leo and Reggie, he stops and begins the process of raising the core.

Midpoint: Brian tells Leo that the equipment is not working properly and that he cannot guarantee anyone’s safety. Leo thinks he just can’t figure out why it won’t work and asks Marta. Brian tells Leo that if he says it won’t work, it won’t work. Marta agrees with Brian.

Turning Point 2: Marta tells Brian that she is noticing odd flickers on equipment when the unknown sample is brought near any monitor or equipment.

Dilemma: Brian doesn’t whether Marta is trying to show him up or if there is something about the unknown sample. He simply doesn’t know what to do, and this realization scares him.

3rd Act Climax: After an argument with Toni, Brian begins the process of sealing the core shaft when something reaches up out of the shaft and pulls him down face-first into the shaft.

Ending: Brian dies.

Marta Lightfoot (female):

The maintenance subordinate is an all-around nice person and always has a smile on their face. Will do or agree with anything that the maintenance lead says but is actually the smartest person in any room.

Motivation: To learn as much as there is to learn without causing conflict.

Wound: Was humiliated during the verbal portion of his dissertation by a professor who had had some of his published work brought into question by Marta.

Subtext: Will remove themself from any intellectual discussion even when they could add a different or confirming opinion.

Secret Identity: Has a PhD in Applied Physics from Caltech.

3 Act Journey for Marta

Beginning: Marta guides the core piping as it drops down into the drill shaft.

Turning Point: Marta discovers an unknown substance in the middle of the ice core that has just been brought up.

Midpoint: Marta interrupts Toni trying to physically examine the unknown sample that has been brought up.

Turning Point 2: Leo insists that the unknown substance is some kind of unknown primordial substance, but Reggie and Toni disagree given that there is ice above and below it. They examine it under a microscope and cannot see anything close to an organic compound. Toni suggests that the sample should be sent to McMurdo for further testing.

Dilemma: Marta thinks that the substance may not be organic. After the drone crashes, Marta wonders if something in the substance may just want to go back to where it came from.

3rd Act Climax: When Simone accuses Toni of having the sample, Marta asks for it. Toni pulls a gun and says that she is going to take it to McMurdo. When asked why, Simone accuses Toni of being in the military. Toni grins and does not answer but gets into the only remaining drone to leave.

Ending: Marta, Simone, Leo, and Carol board a rescue drone and leave the research station.

Toni Granfield (female):

The young grad student who is secretly working for the military and sends weekly reports to a clandestine center. Always curious and never really offers any ideas.

Motivation: Must successfully complete her assignment in order to be promoted.

Secret: She is a spy working for the military.

Subtext: Always nice and disarming to avoid attention.

Hidden Agenda: Any discovery of biological or unknown origins are to be immediately reported and the station to be isolated.

Dilemma: If she is discovered she will no longer have a career.

3 Act Journey for Toni

Beginning: Toni writes down a message from a radio communication with McMurdo Station of an upcoming arrival of an Ecotourist drone later that day. She then walks the message to the drill room and hands it to Leo.

Turning Point: When communications become intermittent after the unknown substance is pulled from the core sample.

Midpoint: Toni secretly sends an update and receives a coded response indicating that she is to take the sample and deliver it to a contact.

Turning Point 2: Toni tries to take the unknown sample, but Jeffery and Reggie take it first.

Dilemma: How can she get the sample back?

3rd Act Climax: Toni searches the crash and retrieves the unknown sample. Simone sees her do this and calls her out inside.

Ending: Toni pulls a gun and takes the unknown sample and tries to leave on the remaining drone. The drone crashes almost immediately after takeoff and kills Toni.

[Mark Hawk]

Mark Hawk’s Character Depth!

What I learned doing this assignment is that creating the character profiles first allows the conflict to be ready built-in and can be easily used to let the story evolve in a natural way.

CHARACTER PROFILES

Character A (female):

A very wealthy Eco-Patron who is always looking for ways to take advantage of any situation and doesn’t take `no’ for an answer.

Motivation: Must always be in charge of any given situation.

Wound: Father never thought she would amount to anything because she is not male.

Subtext: She has never been involved on a personal level with anyone for very long.

Dilemma: Allowing her to enjoy her feelings versus always having to be in control.

Character B:

The lead scientist who is over-protective of their work and doesn’t like to be micro-managed. This individual is an anti-commercialist and believes that discoveries should be shared with all of humanity.

Motivation: To make a discovery that could benefit all of humanity.

Wound: Was betrayed by a past colleague on ownership of a joint discovery.

Subtext: Does not trust easily, and definitely does not trust rich people.

Dilemma: Deciding on how to work with patrons who can fund the research projects could lead to self-sabotage.

Character C (male):

A crypto billionaire who is just looking for a good time. They are looking for ways to take advantage of old-school money and will do anything to embarrass them.

Motivation: To make as much money as possible without having to do the work.

Secret: Wants to financially destroy Character A.

Wound: Was fired from a company that Character A was CEO.

Layers: Always verbally trying to joust with Character A and overwhelms anyone around him. He sucks all the oxygen out of any room he is in.

Intrigue: Tries to undermine anything he sees Character A becoming involved in.

Character D:

An up-and-coming scientist who knows how to get their projects funded. Will do whatever it takes to take over projects after they have already started and run into difficulties.

Motivation: Will do anything and everything to further their career.

Secret: Has already worked out a deal to undermine Character B to take over the project.

Layers: Reluctantly took the assignment on the project after losing out on a different project.

Conflict: Has competed with Character A on different projects in the past. There is very little trust between Character D and Character B.

Hidden Agenda: Will falsify project data to get Character B fired.

Character E:

A true ecotourist who is only there for the experience. They believe that the price they paid for the excursion is going to fund the research they are visiting. Very naive.

Motivation: To experience both science and nature in one setting.

Secret: Won a very large lottery drawing.

Wound: Ashamed about not having money until recently.

Character F:

The maintenance lead who thinks there is nothing they can’t fix. Feels very uncomfortable around people who have money and looks for any reason to avoid them. Likes to be told what the problem is without any advice on how to fix it.

Motivation: To be able to fix anything.

Secret: He is bluffing his way through life by using aggression and intimidation.

Wound: Is ashamed that he doesn’t have the money or education that everyone else has.

Dilemma: He feels that if he admits he can’t figure something out he will be immediately removed and has nothing to fall back on.

Character G:

The maintenance subordinate is an all-around nice person and always has a smile on their face. Will do or agree with anything that the maintenance lead says but is actually the smartest person in any room.

Motivation: To learn as much as there is to learn without causing conflict.

Wound: Was humiliated during the verbal portion of his dissertation by a professor who had had some of his published work brought into question by Character G.

Subtext: Will remove themself from any intellectual discussion even when they could add a different or confirming opinion.

Secret Identity: Has a PhD in Applied Physics from Caltech.

Character H:

The young grad student who is secretly working for the military and sends weekly reports to a clandestine center. Always curious and never really offers any ideas.

Motivation: Must successfully complete her assignment to be promoted.

Secret: She is a spy working for the military.

Subtext: Always nice and disarming to avoid attention.

Hidden Agenda: Any discovery of biological or unknown origins are to be immediately reported and the station to be isolated.

Dilemma: If she is discovered she will no longer have a career.

[Mark Hawk]

Mark Hawk’s Right Characters!

What I learned doing this assignment is that identifying the possible conflicts between characters up front helps to maintain the hook and story. I haven’t figured out the character’s genders or names yet, but it doesn’t matter at this point.

Here are the characters I’m considering for this story:

A. A very wealthy Eco-Patron who is always in control. This person is always looking for ways to take advantage of any situation and doesn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. A very competitive individual, they must always be in charge.

B. The lead scientist who is very over-protective of their work and doesn’t like to be micro-managed. This individual is an anti-commercialist and believes that discoveries should be shared with all of humanity.

C. A crypto billionaire who is just looking for a good time. They are looking for ways to take advantage of old-school money and will do anything to embarrass them.

D. An up-and-coming scientist who knows how to get their projects funded. Will do whatever it takes to take over projects after they have already started and run into difficulties.

E. A true ecotourist who is only there for the experience. They believe that the price they paid for the excursion is going to fund the research they are visiting. Very naive.

F. The maintenance lead who thinks there is nothing they can’t fix. Feels very uncomfortable around people who have money and looks for any reason to avoid them. Likes to be told what the problem is without any advice on how to fix it.

G. The maintenance subordinate is an all-around nice person and always has a smile on their face. Will do or agree with anything that the maintenance lead says.

H. The young grad student who is secretly working for the military and sends weekly reports to a clandestine center. Always curious and never really offers any ideas.

These characters are being placed into a situation where a new discovery causes almost immediate friction and conflict, only made worse when accidents start happening. This may evolve further, but I like where this is leading me.

[Mark Hawk]

A. How did this process work for me?

This process was a great way of breaking down the components of the idea that can then be examined for alternatives. I had never considered doing this, which helped to clarify the foundation of the story further.

B. What did I learn doing this assignment?

The use of alternatives pre-loaded conflict to the story idea before the outline has been started. It also eliminated 4 of the 5 ideas.

1. Brainstorm for possible major hooks:

A. Intriguing Contained Setting: Remote Antarctic Research Station.

B. Unique Device: unknown, but none – really.

C. Unique Monster/Villain: Alien Probe.

D. Mystery: Is one of the visiting ecotourists causing accidents and failures?

E. Impossible goal/Unsolvable problem: Winter is approaching, and they may not have transportation or supplies to survive.

F. Unique layers: Ecotourists vs. Research Station personnel vs. elements.

2. Having to do with Sci-Fi, what haven’t we seen before?

An alien probe that not have hostile intentions, but defends itself and tries to get back where it was originally hidden.

3. Components of current concept:

A. Wealthy Ecotourists

Military Personnel

Research Team

Geologic Survey Team

Scientists

B. Antarctic Research Station

Military Personnel

Research Team

Geologic Survey Team

Scientists

C. Antarctic Research Station

Military Personnel

Research Team

Geologic Survey Team

Scientists

D. Antarctic Research Station

Military Personnel

Research Team

Geologic Survey Team

Scientists

4. Selection made.

5. Selection made, but it’s a secret….

[Mark Hawk]

Mark’s Guidelines for THE MIDNIGHT SKY

What I learned in this assignment is that just because a potential story doesn’t fit the COVID contained model does not mean that the story shouldn’t be told.

ASSIGNMENT PART 1:

Using the COVID guidelines helped to realize that two of the projects couldn’t be contained because of large numbers of animals or children. One of the projects could be a contained short story, leaving two potential projects. The exercise did not make me want to discard the stories that were eliminated, only that they didn’t really fid the COVID contained model.

All that’s left is to decide which story idea to work on.

ASSIGNMENT PART 2:

TITLE: The Midnight Sky

AS THEY DID IT:

A. People: 2 actors for flashback scenes, 2 actors in the Arctic, 5 actors on Aether spacecraft, 1 actor in crashed aircraft, multiple actors in holograph scenes on Aether spacecraft.

B. Stunts: Spacewalk scene with explosions, snowmobile travel across Arctic to weather station, motorhome and snowmobile sinking into the ice, walking in arctic and digging shelters.

C. Extras: Evacuation scene at Barbeau Observatory, flashback scenes involving presentation to a lecture hall at CalTech and reception.

D. Wardrobe: Arctic gear on earth, astronaut gear for crew of Aether spacecraft, semi-formal attire for flashback scenes.

E. Hair and Make Up: Negligible, except for flashback scenes and arctic travel (ice in beard, wind-chilled skin.

F. Kids and Animals: One of the actors in the Arctic is a child, wolves at aircraft crash site.

G. Quarantine: Large number of extras for the evacuation of Barbeau Observatory and flashback scenes, along with actors for flashback scenes. Large number of actors in holograph scenes on board Aether spacecraft.

COVID GUIDELINE VERSION:

A. People: Eliminate actor in crashed aircraft. Consider reducing number of holograph scenes.

B. Stunts: Eliminate stunts and use tension.

C. Extras: Eliminate evacuation scene and use tension. Eliminate flashback scenes involving extras.

D. Wardrobe: Fine as-is.

E. Hair and Make Up: Fine as-is.

F. Kids and Animals: Consider minimal use of child, perhaps using her as a ghost or image that distracts.

G. Quarantine: Removing stunts, extras, and additional actors limits the need for large quarantine. Eliminating evacuation and flashback scenes reduces the number of locations. Most of the arctic scenes might be able to be done on a soundstage. Consider reducing number of holograph scenes.

• This reply was modified 4 years ago by  Mark Hawk. Reason: Missed a couple of scenes