[mark Morris]

What I learned doing this assignment is that the writing is only the first half of the job. The second half begins now. But I have a much better understanding of the system, and I have better tools to maneuver with.

Mark’s Marketing Campaign

1. I am going the route of Campaign #6: Marketing to Producers

2. Armed with the tools that have been developed in this class like the High Concept, the Elevator Pitch, The Pitch Fest Pitch and the Query Letter, I feel confident enough to put these approaches into action.

A. Sending out Query Letters to producers connected with my target actors and similar films.

B. Identifying smaller producers on IMDBpro (maybe Linkedin, FB, Twitter too)

C. Sending Queries to them

D. Using Six Degrees of Separation to see if any of my contacts are connected to producers I want to target.

E. Calling production companies and using the phone pitch to get script requests.

[mark Morris]

Mark’s Query DRAFT TWO

Dear Producer,

What’s the most terrifying force of nature? A lightning storm that knows who you are and where you live.

TITLE: SkyFire

GENRE: Sci-Fi thriller (TV series adapted from the novel by Thomas Page)

Synopsis:

A Navy weapons test creates a violent storm out of a clear, blue sky, and lightning bolts begin killing birds, animals and insects on the remote south sea island. The lead scientist of the team, Holden, is devastated at the damage the test caused, but partly redeems himself by saving their lives with a risky plan and flying them to safety.

The Navy’s best weather expert discovers the storm can morph itself into different-looking weather patterns, and is crossing seas and continents heading for them. Holden’s horror at realizing the storm is killing his team is compounded by his dilemma — to flee or stay and protect Gina, his college sweetheart and true love, now a widow, along with her bratty three-year-old son.

The Navy brass are ready to sacrifice Holden to the storm to stop the destruction. Only when the looming storm attacks Gina and son does he realize the boy has his DNA, and is HIS OWN son. That’s when he comes up with a stunning plan that will either kill him or save the planet as his reparation.

BIO: Mark’s first feature script was written and co-produced at age 24, and a second feature script was produced years later. This script is a Semi-Finalist, Screencraft TV Pilot Competition. Representation is by Stuart Arbury at Ramo Law.

If this concept interests you, I’d be happy to send you the script.

Feel free to contact me at any one of these contacts.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by  mark Morris.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by  mark Morris.

[mark Morris]

Mark’s Query Letter Draft ONE

Dear Producer,

What’s the most terrifying force of nature? A lightning storm that knows who you are and where you live.

TITLE: SkyFire

GENRE: Sci-Fi thriller (TV series adapted from the novel by Thomas Page)

Synopsis:

A Navy weapons test creates a violent storm out of a clear, blue sky, and lightning bolts begin killing birds, animals and insects on the remote south sea island. When the first scientist is also killed, the team leader, Holden, an ex-military pilot, saves their lives with an ingenious plan and flies them to safety.

The Navy’s best weather expert discovers the storm can morph itself into different-looking weather patterns, and is crossing seas and continents heading for them. When the storm has killed all his team members, Holden is torn between fleeing and protecting Gina, his college sweetheart and true love, now a widow, along with her bratty three-year-old son.

The Navy brass are ready to sacrifice Holden to the storm to stop the destruction. Only when the looming storm attacks Gina and son does he realize the boy has his DNA, and is HIS OWN son. That’s when he comes up with a stunning plan that will either kill him or save the planet.

BIO: Mark’s first feature script was written and co-produced at age 24, and a second feature script was produced years later. This script is a Semi-Finalist, Screencraft TV Pilot Competition. Representation is by Stuart Arbury at Ramo Law.

If this concept interests you, I’d be happy to send you the script.

Feel free to contact me at any one of these contacts.

[mark Morris]

What I learned from this exercise is that there are a number of inter-connected relationships among producers. Some of them work with the same people over various projects. Its “who you know.”

MARK’S TARGET MARKET

SIMILAR FILMS/TV Series

Final Destination

(Producers)

Chris Bender – assoc prod

Richard Brener – Exec prod

Glen Morgan – Prod

Craig Perry – Prod

Art Schaefer – co-prod

Brian Witten – exec prod

Warren Zide – prod

Wayward Pines

M. Night Shyamalan – exec prod

Donald De Line – exec prod

Ashwin Rajan – exec prod

Shawn Williamson – prod

Patrick Alson – prod

Ron French – prod

Cathy Frank – co-prod

Fringe

Bryan Burk – exec prod

Tamara Isaac – prod

Alex Kurtsman – exec prod

Tanya Swerling – prod

Cathy Lingg – prod

Joe Chappelle – exec prod

David Fury – co-exec prod

Andrew Kreisberg – co-exec prod

X-Files

Ken Horton – Cons Prod

Darin Morgan – cons prod

charles Grant Craig – Sup prod

Frank Spotnitz – exec prod

Rob Bowman – prod

Joseph Patrick Finn – prod

Stranger Things

Dan Cohen – exec prod

Shawn Levy – exec prod

Rand Geiger – prod

Justin Doble- prod

Karl Gajdusek – exec prod

Cindy Holland – prod

William Bridges – co-prod

Directors

Andrew Stanton

Andrew Stanton TV Series

For All Mankind

Ronald D Moore

Nichole Beattie

Maril Davis

Ben McGinnis

Ben Nedivi

Steve Oster

Bradley Thompson

Patricia Valenzuela

David Weddle

Matt Wolpert

Seth Edelstein

Tales From the Loop

Rafi Crohn

Nathaniel Halpern

Robert Petrovicz

Legion

John Cameron

Noah Hawley

Regis Kimble

Simon Kinberg

Derek Hoffman

Brian Leslie Parker

Eric Holmberg

Steve Blackman

LIST OF ACTORS

Ryan Reynolds, Taylor Kitsch, Liv Tyler, Felicity Jones, Ryan Gosling

Ryan Reynolds Films/TV

The Adam Project

David Ellis

Dana Goldberg

Don Granger

Shawn Levy

Taylor Kitsch Film /TV

Shadowplay (The Defeated)

David Dvoli – exec prod

Jason Cloth – co-exec prod

Aaron Gilbert – exec prod

Rick McCallum – prod

Battleship

Sarah Aubrey

Peter Berg

Brian Goldner

Duncan Henderson

Producer – Phillip J. Roth (Post Impact)

Liv Tyler Film/TV

Armageddon

Michael Bay

Gale Anne Hurd

Jerry Bruckheimer

Ad Astra

Dede Gardner

James Gray

Anthony Katagas

Jeremy Kleiner

Marc Butan

Jeffrey Chan

Paul Conway

Ryan Gosling Film/TV

Blade Runner 2049

Andrew Kosove

Broderick Johnson

[mark Morris]

What I’ve learned from this assignment is that the previous lessons make it much easier to distill the important elements of a pitch into shorter and shorter pitches that can be used in different encounters with producers. This version is the shortest – for the briefest contact in a phone introduction.

MARK’S PHONE PITCH

1.My strategy is to use credibility.to begin the pitch

2. I’m Mark Morris. I’m a produced screenwriter, and I have the rights to a Sci-Fi thriller novel. I’d like to tell you the concept in 30 seconds. Is that OK?

The Title is SkyFire. I’ve adapted it into a TV series similar to X-Files or Stranger Things, but its grounded in weather science and today’s global climate crisis. It about a young weather scientist and his team who create the most terrifying lightning storm in history; one that travels the planet hunting them and killing them for a purpose. He becomes the last survivor, and with his family in jeopardy, he has to fight or outwit vicious Mother Nature.

What’s the budget range?

Its not a big disaster story, so budget would be in the low to medium range for a one-hour drama.

Who do you see in the main roles?

Actors I like could be Ryan Reynolds or Taylor Kitsch for the protagonist.

Liv Tyler or Felicity Jones for the female lead.

Casey Affleck for the antagonist

How many pages is the script?

56 pages in the pilot.

Who else has seen this?

I can send you a list along with the script.

Why do you think this fits our company?

You’ve done shows with a similar genre in outstanding ways, and I think you could take this unusual concept to great heights.

How does the movie end?

Our scientist protagonist comes up with a self-sacrificing plan to have Gina and his son flown to safety while he pilots a fighter jet to the Arctic, luring the storm after him. He is unaware that the storm catches up with Gina. She is struck by lightning and dies while protecting the boy as the season ends.

[mark Morris]

What I learned is that its all about the business of marketing the interesting story hooks in a bare-bones, direct presentation. And promoting yourself via credentials that relate directly to the pitch and the project on a professional level.

Mark’s Pitch Fest Pitch

1. I am a twice-produced screenwriter

2. I have Sci-Fi thriller titled SkyFire, adapted from the Novel by Thomas Page

3. Skyfire is a TV series concept adapted from the popular 1980’s novel, in the vein of Stranger Things and X-Files, but it’s grounded in weather science and today’s global climate crisis.

A weather scientist and his team create the most terrifying lightning storm in history; one that hunts the planet for them and kills for a purpose. As the last survivor, with his family in jeopardy, he has to fight or outwit vicious Mother Nature.

4. The budget range is medium, under a million per episode.

Actors I like could be Ryan Reynolds or Taylor Kitsch for the protagonist.

Liv Tyler or Felicity Jones for the female lead.

Casey Affleck for the antagonist

I’ll give you the acts of the first season.

In the first act the scientist hero falls in love with his college sweetheart, Gina, who re-enters his life with her three year-old brat of a son. He narrowly escapes from the island where a Navy weapons test spawns a killer lightning storm from which he is able to rescue his team.

The second act produces the mysterious deaths of his team and leads to the discovery that the storm is purposeful and is killing everyone involved in the test.

He is the last survivor, and the Navy brass deem him expendable if it will stop the storm’s destructive movement.

The season builds to the moment when, after fleeing to protect his family, he learns that Gina and her son narrowly escape an attack by the storm, and he realizes the truth – the brat has his DNA. It’s his own son.

The Ending: He sets in motion a plan to have the Navy flay Gina and his son to safety while he pilots a fighter jet to the Arctic, luring the storm after him. He is unaware that the storm catches up with Gina. She is struck by lightning and dies while protecting the boy as the season ends.

What Have I done?: My strengths are having had first-hand experience on the creative side of the industry as a writer, cinematographer and director of docu-dramas. The third feature script I wrote was produced and distributed. And on the business side of the industry I have co-written or co-produced three feature films.

[mark Morris]

What I learned doing this assignment is How Long the Synopsis Should Be. At last!

Mark’s Query Letter

Dear Producer,

What’s the most terrifying force of nature? A lightning storm that knows who you are and where you live.

TITLE: SkyFire

GENRE: Sci-Fi thriller (TV series adapted from the novel by Thomas Page)

Synopsis:

A Navy weapons test creates a violent storm out of a clear, blue sky, and lightning bolts begin killing birds, animals and insects on the remote south sea island. When the first scientist is also killed, the team leader, Holden, an ex-military pilot, saves their lives with an ingenious plan and flies them to safety.

The Navy’s best weather expert discovers the storm can morph itself into different-looking weather patterns, and is crossing seas and continents heading for them. When the storm has killed all his team members, Holden is torn between fleeing and protecting Gina, his college sweetheart and true love, now a widow, along with her bratty three-year-old son.

The Navy brass are ready to sacrifice Holden to the storm to stop the destruction. Only when the looming storm attacks Gina and son does he realize the boy has his DNA, and is HIS OWN son. That’s when he comes up with a stunning plan that will either kill him or save the planet.

BIO: Mark’s first feature script was written and co-produced at age 24, and a second feature script was produced years later. This script is a Semi-Finalist, Screencraft TV Pilot Competition. Representation is by Stuart Arbury at Ramo Law.

If this concept interests you, I’d be happy to send you the script.

Feel free to contact me at any one of these contacts.

[mark Morris]

Mark’s Synopsis Hooks

What I learned doing this assignment is that my task is very different from writing a movie. I am writing a TV series pilot and season arc. So the hooks and turning points and emotional journeys aren’t contained only in the pilot script. They describe the 1st season. But leading off with the hooks and marketability points should still entice someone to read the script. If I were to do these exercises with only the pilot in mind, it would not be nearly as interesting.

Opening scene hook: A Navy weapons test creates a huge lightning storm out of a clear, blue sky and lightning bolts are targeting birds, animals and insects.

Turning Points: The first scientist is struck by lightning.

The storm seeks a new victim, a 100-man Navy destroyer.

Unique hero: Exceptional military pilot who has been taking orders all his life must now have develop confidence to give orders.

Emotional Drama: Holden has to flee the storm to save his life, but it means leaving Gina and son exposed to it.

Reveal: The science team flies back to the US to escape the storm. The storm can travel across oceans and continents to find them.

Mysterious deaths in different cities lead to investigations that identify the victims as Holden’s science team

Surprise: Gina’s son has Holden’s DNA

The Navy’s best weather expert discovers the storm can morph itself into different looking weather patterns, despite the hostility of Admiral Clay.

Unique. There has never been the concept of a sentient force of nature with purpose.

H.
Adapted from a popular book.

Synopsis

SkyFire is adapted from a popular Sci-Fi thriller novel with a unique premise.

A Navy weapons test creates a huge lightning storm out of a clear, blue sky and lightning bolts are targeting birds, animals and insects on the remote south sea island.

Jeff Holden, an exceptional military pilot who has been taking orders all his life, now in his second career as a meteorologist, must now develop confidence to give the orders and lead the science team. Their lives are in his hands.

The first scientist is struck and killed by lightning, Holden comes up with a crazy plan that allows him to fly them off the island in a chopper.

The storm seeks a new victim. A Navy destroyer with 100-man crew explodes and sinks.

The science team flies back to the US, where Holden’s rival, the Navy’s best weather expert, Ms. Kayama, discovers the storm can morph itself into different looking weather patterns, and is crossing seas and continents heading for them.

Admiral Clay, in charge of the project, is openly hostile to the “unlikely bullshit” theory proposed by the Asian woman.

Holden falls in love again with Gina, his college sweetheart, who re-enters his life with her three year-old brat of a son.

Mysterious deaths in different cities lead to investigations that identify the victims as Holden’s science team.

Holden learns from Kayama that the lethal storm is hunting the four of them who survived the weapons test, and he is the last target. Like an unrelenting Terminator with the power of Godzilla, this storm can’t be stopped.

Holden has to flee for his life, but it means leaving Gina and son in danger. Kayama assures him they are in no danger, it is Holden the storm wants.

The massive flooding and destruction caused by the storm’s movements forces Admiral Clay to admit to its sentient purpose. His decision is to sacrifice Holden to the storm for the greater good. Only then will the storm die out.

Holden learns that Gina and her son narrowly escape an attack by the storm, and he realizes the truth – the brat-has Holden’s DNA. It’s his own son.

The season builds to the moment when Holden makes the decision to have the Navy fly his family to safety across the country, while he pilots a fighter jet to the Arctic, luring the storm after him. He is unaware that the storm catches up with Gina. She is struck by lightning and dies while protecting the boy as the season ends.

[mark Morris]

Mark’s High Concept/Elevator Pitch

What I learned doing this assignment is that there are different ways to eke out interesting parts of the story. the four different ways to express the main hook are very helpful. I feel like my logline, that has gone through 50 versions at least, is getting more interesting.

1. A man who spent 10 years in the Air Force and became a great pilot is now out of the military, and for the first time he is unsure of his abilities in the real world, having had a structured life until now. He is adrift, unsure of his life direction and lonely.

Suddenly two events happen at once. Gina, his first love, re-enters his life, with a likelihood of emotional fulfillment, and the secret Navy weather project he is in charge of has caused a deadly weather catastrophe that will kill people – including him.

He realizes now what he wants in life at the same time that a weather catastrophe he helped engineer threatens to end his life.

2. HIGH CONCEPT

Dilemma: A meteorologist must escape a lightning storm traveling the world to kill him before it reaches his family.

Main Conflict: The odds of being struck by lightning are 100% for four scientists who caused planetary damage and woke up Mother Nature.

What’s At Stake: A meteorologist who caused a weather catastrophe is now in a global fight with Mother Nature.

Goal/Unique Opposition: How do you save your family while being hunted by a deadly force of nature out to kill you?

3. Elevator Pitch: I’m adapting a Sci-fi novel about a meteorologist that caused a weather catastrophe who must escape a lightning storm traveling the world to kill him, before it reaches his family.

[mark Morris]

Mark’s 10 Most Interesting Things

What I learned from dong this assignment is that aspects of this TV series that haven’t yet been written, but I knew were there, ARE interesting when singled out to be mentioned in a pitch. Its simple, yet still a great insight, and this practice expands my ammunition to include in a more engaging pitch.

A. Unique villain: Biologist who loves killing animals.

Unique hero: Exceptional military pilot who has been taking orders all his life must now have develop confidence to give orders.

B. Opening scene hook: A Navy weapons test creates a huge lightning storm out of a clear, blue sky and lightning bolts are targeting birds, animals and insects.

C. Turning Points: The first scientist is struck by lightning.

The storm seeks a new victim, a 100-man Navy destroyer.

E. Reveal: The science team flies back to the US to escape the storm. The storm can travel across oceans and continents to find them.

The storm is Nature’s defense weapon with a lethal purpose.

Mysterious deaths in different cities lead to investigations that identify the victims as Holden’s science team

G. Character betrayals: Admiral Clay willing to sacrifice Holden to the storm for the greater good.

H. Surprise: Gina’s son has Holden’s DNA

Other interesting things in SKYFIRE

Gina, a flower child, is Holden’s first love and college sweetheart who he hasn’t seen in three years.

The Navy’s best weather expert insists the storm can morph itself into different looking weather patterns, despite the hostility of Admiral Clay.

[mark Morris]

Mark’s Producer/Manager presentation

Pitch To Producer: My strengths are having had first-hand experience in the creative side of the industry as a cinematographer and director of docu-dramas. The third feature script I wrote was produced and distributed. And on the business side of the industry I have co-written or co-produced three feature films.

I have always been a successful collaborator on projects, and prefer the added creativity that comes from working with a partner. That’s why SkyFire is co-written by two of us. My partner is a published book author and an optioned screenwriter.

Skyfire is a TV series concept adapted from the 1980’s novel, in the vein of Stranger Things and X-Files, but it’s grounded in weather science and today’s global climate crisis.

Imagine a lightning storm with purpose, that never stops hunting and killing a team of scientists who are survivors of a Navy weapons experiment that burned a hole in the atmosphere. Mother Nature’s sentient weapon is defending the planet, and four scientists struggle to understand how it’s possible, and how to escape from it.

Unlike a high-budget disaster epic, the looming threat of this storm is often in the background, like the Terminator. It’s unstoppable and never ceases hunting them. Our characters reactions are the main story driver, as they face a threat beyond anything they could have imagined in their lives.

This entity of nature takes on a character itself and elicits terror, despair and awe even though it may be seen only as a blip on a radar screen or a low pressure area on a satellite display. It creeps and sneaks and lurks off-screen, invisible at times. It is coldly calculating, and it’s strikes are targeted and shockingly brutal.

Jeff Holden, our protagonist, is a pilot and meteorologist who teams up with the best woman weather expert in the Navy to understand what went wrong with the experiment. When they realize that the mega-storm can travel across continents and oceans and is still after them, their real terror begins. Then Holden learns an awful truth, that their electrical signatures have been imprinted by the earth’s magnetic field. His debt will be paid back to the planet only when his DNA is wiped out — the storm is after his 3 year-old son also.

The arc of the first season includes three unexplained deaths of Holden’s team, resulting in baffling local crime investigations in several cities. Holden is powerless to prevent the deaths and he becomes the last survivor. He is torn between fleeing ahead of the storm and protecting Gina, the woman he loves, and his son.

The season builds to the moment when Holden makes the decision to have the Navy fly his family to safety across the country, while he pilots a fighter jet to the Arctic, luring the storm after him. He is unaware that the storm catches up with Gina. She is struck by lightning and dies while protecting the boy as the season ends.

Our audience is all those who think that civilization can protect us from nature.

Pitch to Manager:

I am coming to screenwriting after studying my grandfather’s scripts from when he was a technical script doctor at Fox Studios in the 1930’s. And after writing or co-writing six feature scripts, two of which have been produced. I had a hand in producing those however, so I am still looking for validation as a writer from outside sources.

I have always been a successful collaborator on projects; as a co-writer or co-producer on features, and as a co-director on docu-dramas. I prefer the added creativity that comes from working with a partner. That’s why SkyFire is co-written by two of us. My partner is also a published book author and an optioned screenwriter.

Skyfire is a TV series concept adapted from the 1980’s novel, in the vein of Stranger Things and X-Files, but its grounded in weather science and today’s global climate crisis.

Imagine a lightning storm with purpose, that never stops hunting and killing a team of scientists who are survivors of a Navy weapons experiment that burned a hole in the atmosphere. Mother Nature’s sentient weapon is defending the planet, and four scientists struggle to understand how it’s possible, and how to escape from it.

Unlike a high-budget disaster epic, the looming threat of this storm is often in the background, like the Terminator. Its unstoppable and never ceases hunting them. Our characters reactions are the main story driver, as they face a threat beyond anything they could have imagined in their lives.

This entity of nature takes on a character itself and elicits terror, despair and awe even though it may be seen only as a blip on a radar screen or a low pressure area on a satellite display. It creeps and sneaks and lurks off-screen, invisible at times. It is coldly calculating, and its strikes are targeted and shockingly brutal.

Jeff Holden, our protagonist, is a pilot and meteorologist who teams up with the best woman weather expert in the Navy to understand what went wrong with the experiment. When they realize that the mega-storm can travel across continents and oceans and is still after them, their real terror begins. Then Holden learns an awful truth, that their electrical signatures have been imprinted by the earth’s magnetic field. His debt will be paid back to the planet only when his DNA is wiped out — the storm is after his 3 year-old son also.

The arc of the first season includes three unexplained deaths of Holden’s team, resulting in baffling local crime investigations in several cities. Holden is powerless to prevent the deaths and he becomes the last survivor. He is torn between fleeing ahead of the storm and protecting Gina, the woman he loves, and his son.

The season builds to the moment when Holden makes the decision to have the Navy fly his family to safety across the country, while he pilots a fighter jet to the Arctic, luring the storm after him. He is unaware that the storm catches up with Gina. She is struck by lightning and dies while protecting the boy as the season ends.

Our audience is all those who think that civilization can protect us from nature.

I have another TV series horror project based on another novel by the same author, and a feature project based on a historic event that captured world headlines for four weeks.

What I learned today is that the best answer to “What makes a great pitch?” is to explain the project only through the most interesting parts. Tell the drama through the hooks, the high points and the turning points.

[mark Morris]

Mark’s Marketable Components

What I learned from this assignment is to lead off the pitch by emphasizing the hook.

The logline mentions the hook, but that is only designed to get the producer to want to know more. And now the pitch takes it to the next level by creating a new layer of interest.

LOGLINE: A Navy weapons test creates an intelligent lightning storm that hunts and kills the scientists who have burned a hole in the atmosphere. The last survivor must escape Mother Nature to save himself, and outwit malevolent human agencies working against him.

The two marketable components seem to be, first, that the hook is Unique. There has never been the concept of a sentient force of nature with purpose. And the story also has an Ultimate. This killer storm can move around the whole planet and never stop.

I thought of a way to emphasize these qualities: This antagonist, this character of the storm is like the Terminator — with the same unrelenting menace, and is also unstoppable. It is always out there, coming after the protagonist and his colleagues, from the south Pacific to the US to Greenland.

After thinking of this, I wonder if I should re-work the logline. Does anyone have any thoughts about this logline, compared to the first one?

LOGLINE 2: What if lightning isn’t random, but happens with a purpose? Four scientists realize with100% certainty that lightning is coming after them one by one. Fleeing for his life, a meteorologist is forced to outwit Mother Nature herself to survive and save his family.

[mark Morris]

Mark’s Project and Market

1, My project is Sci-Fi TV series, titled SKYFIRE. The concept is: A Navy weapons test creates an intelligent lightning storm that hunts down and kills the scientists who have burned a hole in the atmosphere. The last survivor must escape Mother Nature to save himself, and outwit malevolent human agencies working against him.

2. Three things are attractive about this project. First, its based on IP – a published novel from the 1980s. Its got a great hook with the deadly, sentient storm that targets certain people with lightning bolts. And third, it is so timely in our age of growing climate turmoil and fear.

3. I want to target producers, because I haven’t yet done any mental casting for actors to submit to, and managers will be more interested in my long-term writing career goals, which I haven’t yet formulated. I don’t want to get into a writers room, and don’t know if I want to write full time. My impression of managers is that they are looking for dedicated, constant writers. I AM dedicated, but only to the three projects that I am writing and pitching.

4. What I learned today is that while producers are my first choice to market to, actors with production companies could be my second choice.

[mark Morris]

Mark Morris

I agree to the terms of this release form.

[mark Morris]

Hi All, I am Mark Morris. My day job is cinematographer…of low-budg movies, cable docs in the past, and more recently web-based projects. I have written six feature screenplays and self-produced one through my production company at the time. I have also written stacks of documentary proposals and pitches that haven’t gotten produced.

I have gained lots of awareness about writing from Hal’s webinars, and have risen to a new level in skills. His 30 Screenplay class was the first one that I signed up for, and it enabled me to create a solid screenplay from a true-story treatment that I had written years ago. Its making the contest rounds now.

I am pretty sure that this class will improve my chances of getting this and other scripts seen by the right people, because Hal really know his stuff.

[mark Morris]

What I learned from this assignment is that new ideas come that build on the work that has been done so far. It is satisfying to not have to search desperately for “good” ideas, but to have them present themselves based on my cululative knowledge of the characters. Perhaps this concept of subconscious creative really works. Yay!

Mark’s Chronological Edit

In reading through the script, found several places where I could enhance the dialogue and expose what the character was feeling; actually by adding lines that made the dialogue more conversational,

I found that ideas for additional scenes. sometimes even just transition shots, came to mind that would fill in small blank spaces in the story. I was able to add two short scenes that provided backstory to the antagonist, and at the same time created a payoff in the climax.

I made seven notes, which I was then able to research and fill in details. Since my story is a true historical event, I needed details on aircraft of the 1930’s and Alaskan settlement names, not to mention some 1930’s slang – all of which I was able to complete.

[mark Morris]

What I learned doing this assignment is to be able to look deeper into scenes using the criteria described in this assignment. It helps to evaluate the strength of a scene from these different perspectives.

Mark’s Solved Scene Problems

Happy to report no Basic Scene Problems or Cliche Scenes. The Course must be working.

I did enhance a scene using the wound, and another one using the Secret.

I increased the stakes for my second lead based on a reveal of his old wound.

the antagonist role was strengthened by using other characters to view him.

Protagonist –

[mark Morris]

What I learned from this lesson is that I learned plenty about how to shape characters from the opening 6 lessons. I didn’t have to do much to solve character problems.

Mark’s Solving Character Problems

All I did this time around was to add a few lines of dialogue here and there to make the characters stand out more. But the essence and the role and the journey of the leads is there.

[mark Morris]

What I learned from this assignment is that this overall analysis is a good birdseye view of the transformational structure. I like the questions. Thy are pretty good at directing attention to the core aspects and meaning of the scenes.

Mark’s Draft 2 – Solving Structure

Act 1:

Opening/Old Ways: Is this an engaging opening scene that lures us into the story? Is the lead character clearly living in a pre-transformation mode? Do the “Old Ways” show up in their behavior and dialogue? The opening is action-packed and intros our lead protagonists in a charming way. The old ways are evident.

Inciting Incident: How does this incident invite and propel us into the journey? Protagonist demonstrates a strong desire and it provokes conflict with its undertaking.

Turning Point: How is this Turning Poing a twist that locks us into the journey with “no going back?” The purpose of her journey is completely changed and literally provides no return.

Act 2:

New Plan: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with the Act 1 Turning Point? She tries to help out, be accepted on the ship and participate in what she had hoped to accomplish on the trip.

Plan in action: How does the protagonist take action on that plan? She charms her colleagues into standing a dangerous s lookout shift on the ship.

Midpoint Turning Point: How does the Midpoint change the meaning, creating a reveal that changes everything while keeping us on the same journey? The stakes are now survival itself, as the ship sinks and they are stranded on the ice drifting away from help.

Act 3:

React/Rethink: What is revealed to the protagonist from the Midpoint? How do they react or rethink things? human cruelty is revealed in the antagonist, and the changes in personality that can occur in people when thrust into dire situations. She seeks support and friendship from the strength of the captain who commands order.

New Plan: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with this new level of conflict? She inspires the captain to build a runway which will be a lifeline to rescue.

Turning Point: The lowest of the low. How has this Turning Point brought the character to the lowest of lows, making it almost impossible for them to win in a normal way? This forces them to adopt the change in a much bigger way. When the runway is destroyed by shifting ice her last hope of rescue by planes, and especially by her fiance, is gone.

Act 4:

Dilemma: What emotional dilemma requires the protagonist to choose between two alternatives, losing something with either choice? When the antagonist, a truly evil influence on everyone, confronts her alone in a cave, she must decide to submit to him or to resist him – which she is powerless to do. She uses the new ways to conquer her fear of him and actually reach out and turn him from the dark side for a time.

Climax/Ultimate @xpression Of The Conflict: How is this the ultimate expression of the conflict? How does it require a “fight to the death,” either literally or symbolically? The climax is literally a fight to the death as the antagonist attempts to imprison her with him in the wilderness – and no one knows she is there. Her triumph is equally hers, her fiance’s and her strongest friend, the captain, who all contribute equally to the triumph.

Resolution: How does this resolution represent the “New Ways” and bring this story to a fitting conclusion? She has become strong and self-reliant, and is now a fitting mate for her fiance, since she now understands the depth of his love for her after going through hell to rescue not only her but everyone else, including the captain, who for a time was his rival for her affections.

New Ways: What are the New Ways and do they clearly show up in your lead character’s Act 4 behavior and dialogue? My protagonist is not in very many scenes in ACT 4, so I added a scene with the antagonist that demonstrates the New Ways, and sets up things for the Dilemma.

[mark Morris]

What I learned from this assignment is that I had a huge gap in ACT 4 between Key Scene 1 – Reaction to the Act 3 Turning Point and Key scene 2 – Protagonist Faces Their Dilemma. I had to add 12 scenes between them. I am only attaching the outline version since there are so many scenes.

Mark’s Filling In Missing Scenes

EXT. RUNWAY – DAWN

TE 7: With jensen back in the lead, he inspires them to carry on with the runway. Colonel Bogie March. They dig with frozen hands.

PLACEHOLDER

EXT. NEAR THE ICE CAVE -DAY

Drake avoids working on the runway and spends time in his hiding place, brooding about people. He hates most of them.

EXT. ICE FIELD – DAY

Drake tries to lure Victoria away from the group, but she gets suspicious.

EXT. PLANE COCKPIT – DAY

Tony discovers the camp, and the runway. He is over-awed by it.

EXT. RUNWAY -DAY

Victoria hears and sees his plane and runs screaming in joy through camp.

The frantic people prevent him from rescuing Victoria first. He is mobbed. Victoria is shoved aside, then Jensen bulldozes her up to Tony. A quick kiss, then the mob accuses him – He won’t come back for them if she goes first.

He is forced to take two men. The overloaded plane sinks behind the horizon and Victoria fears he crashed. Before he reappears in the sky, Drake grabs her and carries her off.

EXT. BARROW STATION -DAY

Tony lands with his two passengers and everyone there is astonished at the rescue. They are even more astonished when Tony punches out both his passengers.

INT. BARROW STATION – DAY

Tony sends a radio call to Nome and contacts his pilot squadron.

INT. BARROW STATION – DAY

Tony gives them the survivor camp location and orders them to promise to take Victoria first. They agree to scatter to various villages in the event of weather issues.

EXT. ICE CAMP- DAY

Jensen makes a priority list of passengers to avoid the mob elbowing their way to safety. Victoria and the women are high on the list.

EXT. RUNWAY – DAY

Planes land each day, rescuing many, one and two at a time.

EXT. ICE CAMP -DAY

Jensen’s aide is keeping the personnel manifest, and keeping track of who is rescued. One day several planes land at once and in the confusion Drake manages to get ahold of the list and crosses off Victoria’s name.

INT. NAVY STATION – NIGHT

Tony compares notes with Nick, wondering how many have been rescued. He thinks one of the other planes rescued Victoria.

EXT. RUNWAY – DAY

Tony lands again he asks Jensen how many are taken. Jensen shows him the list and he sees Victoria’s name crossed off.

[mark Morris]

What I learned from this assignment is how to shape the ending into something more than a button up – to have it add meaning for the audience by drawing on the characters’ traits and the experiences they have had in their journey.

Mark’s ACT 4 Resolution

Key Scene 4 – Resolution

BEGINNING

EXT. NOME FLIGHT LINE – DAY

The sun is shining, bringing warmth and comfort. Tony is walking around his plane, checking for damage and wear. Victoria decides she has had enough cold in her life. She wants to ride home on a ship.

MIDDLE

EXT. NOME DOCKS – DAY

Victoria is waiting on the dock, looking for Tony. He barely makes it in time to board. He had a last minute errand to take care of.

END

EXT. DECK OF THE PASSENGER SHIP – DAY

Tony has a trick up his sleeve. He tells her the captain wants to have a word with them. The captain congratulates them for their heroic deeds and offers to marry them. They are thrilled and agree instantly. The captain isn’t the one to marry them. Its Jensen who surprises them. After warm appreciation that they are all survivors due to each other, Jensen starts the ceremony, when Tony produces the ring he just bought in Nome.

EXT. NOME FLIGHT LINE – DAY

The sun is shining, bringing warmth and comfort. Tony is walking around his plane, checking for damage and wear.

VICTORIA

If you think I’m riding home in that useless rattle-trap, forget it.

Tony walks over to her.

TONY

A little too chilly for ya?

VICTORIA

I’ve had enough cold for the rest of my life. If you can guarantee me that’s the way it will be, then I’ll listen to your offer.

Tony gives her a polite kiss.

TONY

Hmm. Let me think.

EXT. NOME HARBOR DOCKS – DAY

The SS _________ is moored, in final boarding stage for passengers.

Victoria is near the gangplank, warmly dressed and impatient. She looks around for Tony, anxious.

Tony rushes up out of the crowd, out of breath.

TONY (CONT’D)

I’m sorry, Vicky. Something I had to do.

VICTORIA

Important enough to miss the boat?

TONY

We’re fine. Yes, pretty important for the future. Lets go.

He picks up their bags and they hurry up the gangplank.

EXT. DECK OF THE PASSENGER SHIP – DAY

Victoria is looking out over the rail.

Tony talks with the captain as they exit the passageway door. He comes over to Victoria.

TONY (CONT’D)

Never look back.

VICTORIA

I won’t.

TONY

The captain would like to see us for a moment.

She is puzzled, goes with him to the captain standing in front of the passageway door.

TONY (CONT’D)

This is Victoria. Captain Peterson.

CAPTAIN PETERSON

I wanted to meet both of you. What you both have accomplished will be remembered in the history of the sea.

VICTORIA

If you’ll pardon me, I’d like to forget it.

CAPTAIN PETERSON

I understand.

(looks at Tony)

Would you like to be married now?

Tony looks to Victoria, who is stunned.

VICTORIA

Uhh…well…yes.

CAPTAIN PETERSON

Fine. I will see to it.

He goes through the door to the passageway. Immediately the door opens and Captain Jensen appears.

Tony and Victoria are both surprised. Then the warm comradeship they have come to know after such hardship overwhelms them.

VICTORIA

Captain-Jocko, Thank you for…everything.

He clasps her hand with love in his eyes.

TONY

Thank you for bringing Victoria back to me.

Their handshake is genuine and heart felt.

JENSEN

I thank both of you, for saving me.

Now. Do you have the ring?

Tony takes ring case from his pocket and opens to reveal a beautiful _______ ring.

Victoria is impressed. Smiles.

VICTORIA

For the future.

EXT. AERIAL VIEW – DAY

The ship steams south toward the sun. It follows closely behind an ice-breaker moving ice out of their path.

END TITLE

In 1934, the plight of 101 survivors of the shipwreck of the Chelyuskin became front page news for weeks. They survived for three months on the ice by building a camp.

END TITLE

Small planes were able to reach them, land, and fly them out a few at a time only because the captain ordered a runway to be cleared on the ice. The runway, their key to rescue, was repaired for weeks in shifting ice.

END TITLE

Not a single soul was lost.

[mark Morris]

What I learned from this lesson is that once the pillars are written, the key scenes that is – then the other scenes in the act can relate to those pillars and fill in the blanks between them.

Mark’s ACT 4 CLIMAX

Key Scene 3 – Climax

BEGINNING

EXT. RUNWAY – DAY

Nick and Tony’s planes touch down and they try to fit the last people in. They wrap up men in canvas and furs and lash them to the wings.

MIDDLE

Only Jensen is left. Tony says he will come back for him…if he can. Jensen wanders the camp, resigned to his fate.

END

He walks the runway to see that it is breaking up. the ocean is nearing.

EXT. ICE FIELD CAMP – DAY

BEGINNING

Jensen hears the sound of a plane. its Tony’s plane made it back.

MIDDLE

Drake hears it too, hiding in his cave. He makes Victoria watch as the last plane leaves. Now his kingdom will be complete with her. She realizes its Tony and fights furiously to escape.

END

She pushes him down an icy embankment and runs for the plane as it taxis and takes off, leaving her lying in the blowing snow.

EXT. RUNWAY – DAY

BEGINNING

Drake catches her and drags her back to his lair. She fights to no avail.

MIDDLE

As the plane soars away, Jensen looks back at his camp and sees the two struggling figures. Tony divebombs back and lands. Jensen hops out as Tony taxis the plane around cracks in the runway.

END

Jensen attacks Drake. Victoria is released and runs for the plane. Tony scoops her up in a monumental kiss and puts her in the plane, while Jensen fights Drake.

The plane lurches as a crack grows between the wheels. Tony jumps in and guns, moving off the crack. he yells to Jensen to get in, revs up and starts to taxi.

Jensen knocks Drake to the ice and runs to the plane as the end of the ice runway tilts into the sea. Drake runs across the break, falls, and rides it down into the sea. the plane barely rises in time.

KEY SCENE 3 – CLIMAX

EXT. RUNWAY – DAY

Nick and Tony’s planes touch down. Jensen and six people run to the planes. Two squeeze into each plane. Jensen tries to squeeze into Nick’s plane, but its hopeless, almost funny.

TONY

Take off, buddy. Head for the ______ village.

NICK

You can’t take four.

TONY

Maybe. Go!

Nick climbs in, gives him a nod, and roars off.

EXT. TONY’S PLANE ON RUNWAY -DAY

Jensen and Tony wrap the last two men in canvas sheets and jensen hoists them on to the wings. Together they tie them on.

Tony shakes Jensen’s hand. Jensen is calm.

TONY

I’ll try and get back in time. Don’t go anywhere.

He powers off, barely lifting into the air.

Jensen walks down the runway, resigned to his fate.

EXT.ICE CAVE AREA – DAY

Jensen walks oh-so-close to the jumble of ice blocks that make up Drake’s cave. He climbs up to a higher point.

He sees that the ice is melting and cracking.

EXT.ICE FIELD CAMP (HOURS LATER)- DAY

Jensen eats jerky. Hearing more ICE GRINDING NOISES, he gets up to see the ocean water appearing at one side of the runway.

He hears a faint plane noise. He turns and sees Tony’s plane.

EXT. ICE CAVE – DAY

Drake hears the plane. Peering through an opening in the ice wall, he sees Tony Land. He grips Victoria tightly and forces her to look.

DRAKE

See, my beauty. The last one to leave is always the captain. I’m captain now – on my own ship. You’ll be my first mate.

She recognizes Tony’s Plane and her eyes come back to life. She moans as she realizes Tony is alive. She struggles frantically in Drake’s grasp. He throws her back into the cave.

Jensen climbs into the plane and it starts to taxi.

Victoria, with an animal cry, plunges head first into Drake’s belly, knocking him flat, and rushes past. His talon fingers grab her ankle and prevent her next step. A tug of war lasts several seconds, then she breaks free.

EXT. RUNWAY – DAY

Victoria runs screaming after the plane, now taxiing faster and faster, The prop wash blows her back in a cloud of snow.

VICTORIA

(screams))

Tony…wait…come back!

She is not going to make it.

EXT. TONY’S PLANE COCKPIT -DAY

He thinks he hears something; looks around, right and left. He guns it full bore and lifts off.

EXT.RUNWAY – DAY

Victoria falls and slides on the ice, watching him go, through tears.

VICTORIA

(moans)

Nooooo.

Drake looms over her again, now with a crazed look. He hoists her up and tries to drag her back to the cave.

A primal rage rises in her. She beats and pounds on him mercilessly.

EXT. TONY’S PLANE COCKPIT -DAY

Jensen takes one last look at his camp and sees the two struggling figures below. He slaps Tony’s shoulder and points.

Tony sees and immediately torques the plane over into a steep dive and lands.

Jensen jumps out as Tony taxis the plane around cracks in the runway.

EXT. END OF THE RUNWAY -DAY

Jensen attacks Drake, freeing Victoria, who runs toward the plane.

EXT. NEAR TONY’S PLANE – DAY

Tony leaps from the idling plane and runs for Victoria. Its a moment that seems to take forever. When they meet in a crushing hug, Tony scoops her up in a monumental kiss while he carries her to the plane.

EXT. END OF THE RUNWAY – DAY

Jensen flings Drake down the runway like a doormat. He slides and rolls a good distance, then is up and charging back in a fury.

Jensen’s strong hands grab Drake’s right arm and whirls Drake like a sack of potatoes over the ice even farther than before.

Drake lands at the edge of the runway, next to a large crack in the ice.

EXT.TONY’S PLANE -DAY

The plane lurches as a crack grows between the wheels. Tony jumps in and guns it, moving off the crack.

TONY

(yells)

Get in, now.

Tony revs up and starts to taxi.

EXT. END OF THE RUNWAY -DAY

Jensen runs toward the plane.

Drake is in dangerous shifting ice. He scrambles to get away from the widening crack. He jumps across as the end of the ice runway tilts into the sea. He falls…

DRAKE

(screams)

NO. Not Alone!

…and rides the ice floe down into the sea.

EXT.RUNWAY -DAY

With Jensen squeezed in the plane with Victoria, the plane roars down the ice as it is cracking, and lifts into the air.

The deserted camp, home to 101 people for months is swallowed up by the sea. In the distance, the plane disappears into the clouds.

[mark Morris]

What I learned doing this assignment is to compile a separate outline document that gives me better direction in how to place the order of the scenes around the Transformational events and the Turning points. Up to lesson 20 I was trying to randomly place these additional scenes in the Beat sheet, because I was only outlining in the assignment doc.

MARK’s ACT 4 First Scenes

OUTLINE – KEY SCENE 1 – Reaction to 3rd act turning point

BEGINNING

Victoria is drawn to caring for Jensen as he fights to recover from pneumonia. She brings him soup.

MIDDLE

He calls her an angel, but he is despondent over losing his ship and now almost losng his life. He thinks he’s a failure as a captain.

END

He vows that not a single person in his charge will die. Her faith switches from a wishful dream of a flyer to him.

INT. JENSEN’S TENT -DAY

Victoria enters and relieves the other woman nurse at Jensen’s bedside.

NURSE

He’s much better today.

VICTORIA

Thank god.

Victoria looks down at him in thought. She pulls the blanket higher and sits at the bedside with hot soup.

He opens his eyes and smiles wanly.

JENSEN

Whooh. Hit me hard. You’re an angel. Never imagined I’d be laid low enough to be helped by a little lassie.

VICTORIA

And I wouldn’t make it without…your help.

JENSEN

Never had such tender care.

VICTORIA

Its high time. You can’t take responsibility for everyone.

JENSEN

I’m a failure as a captain.

I lost my ship. Now I almost lost my life. What kind of a captain is that? Now, only one thing is left to redeem me. My solemn vow. I will not lose a single person in my charge. No one will be lost…especially you.

VICTORIA

I believe you. Have some soup, Jocko. INT. JENSEN’S TENT -DAY

Victoria enters and relieves the other woman nurse at Jensen’s bedside.

NURSE

He’s much better today.

VICTORIA

Thank god.

Victoria looks down at him in thought. She pulls the blanket higher and sits at the bedside with hot soup.

He opens his eyes and smiles wanly.

JENSEN

Whooh. Hit me hard.You’re an angel. Never imagined I’d be laid low enough to be helped by a little lassie.

VICTORIA

And I wouldn’t make it without…your help.

JENSEN

Never had such tender care.

VICTORIA

Its high time. You can’t take responsibility for everyone.

JENSEN

I’m a failure as a captain.

I lost my ship. Now I almost lost my life. What kind of a captain is that? Now, only one thing is left to redeem me. My solemn vow. I will not lose a single person in my charge. No one will be lost…especially you.

VICTORIA

I believe you. Have some soup, Jocko.

He regains his spirit and smiles weakly.

He regains his spirit and smiles weakly.

Key Scene 2 – Protagonist Faces Their Dilemma

INT. ICE CAVE – DAY

BEGINNING

Drake has Victoria secured in his secret cave. She is in shock, thinking that Tony is dead. He slaps her into awareness and is compelled to tell her his goal of living in his own kingdom with her.

MIDDLE

She is terrified, traumatized and is physically powerless against him. All she can do is acquiesce. She pities him.

END

His love is warped and he begins to assault her. Instead of hitting him away, she gently touches his disfigured face. He breaks down, crying in misery.

INT. ICE CAVE – DAY

Victoria is hobbled to an ice block. Drake feeds her little morsels of food.

DRAKE

There, there, my pet. You must eat. I want you healthy.

She lies, terrified and afraid.

VICTORIA

Please tell me. The plane. Did it crash. What about the pilot? Is he alive?

DRAKE

Poor man. You see…you die if you try to leave my kingdom.

She shrinks into herself and goes into a near catatonic state. Her tortured heart dies within her.

He looks at her, confused. Frustrated, he paces, wanting more from her.

DRAKE (CONT’D)

Stop it. You’re with ME. You’re MINE now. You’re HERE.

He grabs her, wrestles her, slaps her. Still she is un responsive. He slaps twice and she comes out of the trance.

He begins to slowly nuzzle her abdomen and thighs, stroking her, awkwardly intimate, building in desire.

DRAKE (CONT’D)

At first I always wanted to be alone – on the sea, on the ice. They’re leaving. That’s good. Now I am alone – with you. Together.

VICTORIA

We can’t stay here. We’ll die.

DRAKE

What of it.

She looks down at him with sincere pity.

VICTORIA

We don’t deserve that, after everything, We’ve come so far.

She reaches out and gently touches his head. He looks up and she touches his deformed face.

He freezes. His eyes well with tears. He sobs and breaks down, crying in misery. He huddles against the wall.

[mark Morris]

What I learned from doing this assignment is

Mark’s Completed ACT 3

OUTLINE

(DRAKE SPREADS RUMORS ABOUT JENSEN TO UNDERMINE HE IS FAVORING VICTORIA, GIVING HER MORE FOOD)

BEGINNING

EXT. ICE CAMP – DAY

Drake passes by some of the crew who are trying to repair the radio antenna. The men grumble about being hungry, question how long the food will last. What kind of rations they are getting

MIDDLE

Drake berates them, tells them to know their place. Don’t complain. Its not their place to question the plans in place.

END

Drake puts suspicion on the captain, that he is favoring that pretty woman, giving her extra food. The men harbor resentment.

EXT.ICE FIELD CAMP

Drake passes by some of the crew who are trying to repair the radio antenna.

CREWMAN

We’ll never get this up to stay. I’m starving to death.

CREWMAN 2

Hold it in place, blast ya. You think you’re the only one – Drake, how long you think the stores will last?

DRAKE

None o yer damn business. It not yer place to complain.

CREWMAN

We’re gettin shit rations. We can’t work in this cold without enough food.

DRAKE

And no man questions the plan. It comes from me. And before me from the captain. You’ll really be starvin’ if we run out…and then it’ll be the captain’s fault won’t it?

The two men stop and look at Drake, puzzled.

DRAKE (CONT’D)

Specially if he’s favoring someone over us, like that young piece of fluff – givin her more food.

The doubt is sown in their minds.

SCENE – DRAKE STEALS FOOD

BEGINNING

INT. SHACK – NIGHT

Drake pulls out tins of food and a blanket from under his bedroll, stashes them in a tote bag.

MIDDLE

EXT. ICE FIELD -NIGHT

He sneaks out of camp and across the ice field to the jumbled area of ice ridges and tangles masses of ice.

END

EXT. ICE CAVE ENTRANCE – DAY

He climbs over some ice boulders and enters a small ice cave. He empties his tote bag contents and places them with a stash of other things he has already collected.

PLACEHOLDER SCENE: VIC TELLS JENSEN ABOUT HER FLYER -PLANES, A RUNWAY.

BEGINNING

EXT. JENSEN’S TENT – DAY

Jensen is taking a sighting with his sextant when Victoria approaches and tells him

the women are suffering because more of the food is going to the men. He realizes

that they will run out of food unless thy can get some meat.

MIDDLE

Now that the radio is down, hope for rescue looks dim. If only someone from the outside world could reach them. Jensen jokes that The Earhart woman might launch a special flight to gain notoriety.

END

Victoria has more confidence in her own flyer, Tony. She feels sure that he would do anything to get her out of there. He could swoop down out of the clouds and rescue her – if he could land.

ALTERNATE VERSION

BEGINNING

EXT. ICE FIELD -DAY

One of the men is wandering aimlessly on the ice, out of his mind. Victoria is nearby, scanning the sky. She goes to him to offer help. He attacks her in delirium. She screams.

MIDDLE

Jensen is outside his tent and runs to her aid. The man insists that his family is out there and he must go to them. They are cold. Jensen wrestles the man to exhaustion.

END

Maybe the merciful thing is to let him go. Everyone’s spirit is getting weaker. Victoria insists a plane will find them. She knows there’s one plane searching.

Jensen believes in her and kisses her. She breaks down in his arms.

EXT. ICE FIELD -DAY

One of the men is wandering aimlessly on the ice, out of his mind. He shouts at the wilderness, seeing visions of his family.

Victoria is nearby, scanning the sky. She goes to him to offer help.

He attacks her in delirium. She screams.

EXT. JENSEN’S TENT -DAY

Jensen is outside his tent and runs to her aid.

EXT. ICE FIELD -DAY

The man insists that his family is out there and he must go to them. They are cold. Jensen wrestles the man to exhaustion.

VICTORIA

Oh, the poor soul.

JENSEN

Maybe the merciful thing is to let him go.

Victoria and Jensen lie side by side on the ice, holding the man as he lies there whimpering.

VICTORIA

No one else came to help.

JENSEN

Their spirit is weakening.

VICTORIA

A plane will find us. I know there’s one plane searching.

He looks at her, desperately wanting to believe – and kisses her. She breaks down in his arms.

EXT. TONY’S PLANE – DAY

Tony flies over frozen wasteland in freezing weather. He taps his fuel gauge. Its frozen up.

BEGINNING

EXT. NAVY STATION, NOME – DAY

He lands and the ground crew check the plane. They tell him the fuel tank is empty. He just shrugs and goes in the ops center.

MIDDLE

INT. FLIGHT OPS NOME – DAY

He learns the Dreadnaught is in ice 15 feet thick and making little headway. Meanwhile calculations indicate the stranded party is drifting north at 4 miles per day.

END

He chugs coffee, goes outside, bundles up in heavy clothes, gets in his refueled plane, watched by two young navy pilots

EXT. TONY’S PLANE- SERIES OF SHOTS – DAY

Tony makes multiple flights, going through fog, wind and icy conditions. Each time he lands, the two navy pilots watch. They are restricted from flying.

INT. FLIGHT OPS, NOME -DAY

A press reporter arrives and publishes Tony’s story. The story goes out over the wire service.

Finally the navy pilots take to the air to join the search. One damages his plane on landing. they are not as experienced as Tony.

INT. FLIGHT OFFICE – DAY

Nick, reads the headline about “one man doing what the US govt can’t.”

INT. NAVY HQ, ANCHORAGE -DAY

The commander is on the phone to Washington DC where top brass are angered over the newspaper story. Tony is making the govt look bad, and their two planes are being risked with further loss of life. All air rescue attempts are grounded.

EXT. RUNWAY – DUSK

The runway is built, then cracks develop as the ice shifts each day.

EXT. RUNWAY – DAY

Jensen becomes obsessed with the task, forcing everyone to work on the runway. he works hard himself, until he falls into an icy pool of water and gets pneumonia. His body and spirit are broken, and fear and uncertainty overruns the camp. Work on the runway stops.

INT. JENSEN’S TENT -DAY

Victoria and another woman nurse Jensen back to health. jensen has never had to depend on a woman before. He regains his spirit and health.

EXT ICE CAMP – NIGHT

The lookout sees a huge monstrous shape moving over the ice. The camp is thrown into absolute terror. (polar bear attack)

EXT. RUNWAY – DAWN

TE 7: With jensen back in the lead, he inspires them to carry on with the runway. They dig with frozen hands. Drake avoids working on the runway and spends time in his hiding place, brooding.

OUTLINE

BEGINNING

INT. NOME AIR STATION -DAY

The station commander has a junior officer and the two pilots in front of him. The brass has taken a dim view of rescue operations in bad weather that risks lives and resources. He is accountable and is playing it safe. All planes are grounded.

MIDDLE

INT NOME AIR HANGAR -DAY

Tony offers to lead the pilots on a flight, but they let him know that not only are they grounded, but he is also. He pleads with them to help, then he screams at them. They won’t even lend him a shovel to dig out his plane.

END

EXT. NOME FLIGHT LINE – DAY

Tony goes out into the cold and digs at his plane with his hands. His hands go numb. Exhausted, he falls to the snow.

INT. NOME AIR STATION -DAY

The station commander has a junior officer and the two pilots in front of him.

NOME COMMANDER

Washington brass take a dim view of your wrecking the _____ plane, Stephens.

The pilot he addresses looks sheepish.

NOME COMMANDER (CONT’D)

They are watching us closely. Hell, the whole damn world is watching. And I’m accountable. You’re grounded – til the weather clears.

1ST PILOT

Sir, what about -?

NOME COMMANDER

– our guest pilot? He’s given us a black eye in Washington. He’s gonna get himself killed if he keeps it up. I’m not gonna let that happen.

INT. NOME AIR STATION HANGAR

1st Pilot and ground crewman are working on the landing gear.

Tony enters and the wind slams the door behind him. He pauses,

No reaction from the navy men. They keep on working, ignoring him.

TONY

So you got a bad taste in your mouth. A crackup you walk away from is a good one. You’ll learn faster that way.

1ST PILOT

Thanks, I’ve had enough of your methods.

TONY

Hey, its not my fault.

The navy pilot comes up to him.

1ST PILOT

What you are doing is irresponsible and dangerous – not to mention just plain stupid.

TONY

You don’t get it, do you. Over a hundred people are going to die – they are going to die -if we sit here and wait it out.

1ST PILOT

Who in hell made you god?

The pilot goes back to the landing gear,

1ST PILOT (CONT’D)

We’re off the op. We’re grounded.

Tony can’t believe it. He fumes.

TONY

I’m not. All I need is a short tow out of the drift. Then I’m on my own. How about it sergeant?

GROUND CREWMAN

I’m sorry, sir. It can’t be done.

TONY

Please…please give me a break.

1ST PILOT

(shouts)

Don’t push it!

TONY

(screams)

You should be doing what I’m doing. Why am I begging from you useless bums? At least give me a goddamn shovel. Can you manage that?

EXT. NOME FLIGHT LINE – DAY

Tony walks empty-handed to his plane covered in snow. He kneels down and digs frantically at the snow with his hands. The wind and cold soon sap his strength and his hands go numb.

He falls exhausted to the snow.

[mark Morris]

What I learned from doing this assignment is I need to re-order some scenes to make them work with the transformational events and the turning points. Its kind of fun, yet creatively challenging. I realize that without this protagonist emotional roadmap, scenes might be randomly structured without as much impact.

Mark’s ACT 3 Turning Point

OUTLINE

BEGINNNING

EXT. ICE CAMP – DAY

Jensen announces the build of the runway. Astonishment, skepticism.

MIDDLE:

EXT. RUNWAY – DUSK

The runway is built, then cracks develop as the ice shifts each day.

END

EXT. RUNWAY – DAWN

The shifting ice has almost ruined their work. Crack in the runway. They despair.

Key Scene 4 – Turning Point

EXT. ICE CAMP – DAY

Drake and two sailors go from tent to tent, ordering everyone to assemble. Drake is harsh and kicks the men who don’t move fast enough. Everyone is stiff from the cold.

The crowd assembles in front of the large tent.

EXT/INT -WOODEN SHACK – DAY

The women’s quarters. Victoria goes in to summon the women.

VICTORIA

We are all being summoned to a meeting.

LARGE WOMAN 2

Look who it is. The captain’s pet.

VICTORIA

Please come to the large tent right away.

ANOTHER WOMAN

And who says so? Its too cold to go out. Haven’t you noticed, or is your blood too hot?

VICTORIA

This concerns all of you. But if you have better things to do, you can rot.

Victoria leaves the shack. Soon some of the women file out and join the large crowd.

EXT.CENTRAL ICE CAMP – DAY

Jensen stands on a few crates above the crowd.

JENSEN

We’ve prayed for rescue. We’ve called Nome on wireless. We’re told a ship can not get through the ice, week after week – for two months. Not til the ice starts to melt. Dog sleds might reach us, but they can never carry 100 people.

The crowd is shivering in the cold.

VOICE FROM THE CROWD

What’s left?

JENSEN

There is something else I now have come to believe…is possible. How many of you have seen that movie at the picture show – King Kong?

Twenty people gesture affirmative.

JENSEN (CONT’D)

What saved New York might save us – the airplanes.

People have various reactions – from laughs, to skepticism to disgust.

DRAKE

Cap’n I know about ships, not much about air-ships. But how’s one of them gonna zoom by, and snatch us up?

JENSEN

We are the only ones able to make it happen. We are going to build a runway on the ice!

Their faces are full of skepticism and astonishment.

EXT. RUNWAY – (SERIES OF SHOTS)- DAY

Dozens of men and some women are toiling away in the ice. They dig the snow away. They crush and haul away tons of ice blocks, making a level area.

When shovels break, they make tools. When those break, they use their gloved hands. When gloves wear out, they wrap their hands in cloths.

Exhaustion overcomes some. They have to be carried back to their tents.

Day after day they labor in the field.

EXT. RUNWAY – DUSK

The runway is built. It stretches hundreds of feet, smooth and level.

Several men have done work for the day, look back and admire it.

FIRST WORKER

Damn. It looks good.

SECOND WORKER

After all this. It doesn’t work, there’ll be hell to pay.

EXT. – ICE CAMP – NIGHT

TE 6: A polar bear attacks the camp and she braves danger to save lives. A woman and baby are spared.

EXT. ICE FIELD -NIGHT

The masses of ice are slowly churning, compressing, grinding.A huge dark shape moves among the ice mounds.

INT. WOMEN’S SHACK -NIGHT

Victoria lies on her cot listening to the SOUNDS OF ICE CRACKING & GRINDING in a gruesome noise. Soon another sound is repeated, getting louder and nearer – a RUMBLING GROWL

EXT. WOMEN’S SHACK -NIGHT

One of the married couples is outside. A huge polar bear looms from behind the shack.

The man and woman both scream, startling the bear, which backs away.

Instantly more men rush up and the bear growls defensively. It lunges at the nearest man.

Men bring torches and lunge back at it. A snarling fight erupts.

The bear charges through camp in fear and anger. Spectators dive out of its way, narrowly escaping its claws.

Men with torches try to drive it away, but it circles back just as Victoria and another woman come out of the shack.

The bear heads straight for them, charging full speed. A man with a torch tries to fend it off, but it swipes at him, sending to the ground writhing as he drops the torch.

Victoria, on the ground, picks up the torch and shoves it at the bear. But it is not afraid, and comes at her. Suddenly a deafening gun blast echoes and the bear falls dead.

CU – JENSEN

Holding his rifle

EXT. RUNWAY DAWN

Several men are inspecting the ice. Victoria walks out to the runway. As she approaches, she sees them flop down on the ice, strangely.

Then she sees – the ice has shifted into jumbled blocks and bulging ridges. All their work is ruined. The runway is unusable.

She wanders in disbelief and despair. All her hope and will is drained. She drops to her knees and loses it completely.

[mark Morris]

What I learned from doing this lesson is not to notice the page count as I am writing the scenes. With Final draft its automatic and simple to just concentrate on the dialog and action, and keeping the dramatic thread going.

MARK’S ACT 3 Middle Scenes

Key Scene 2 -Make a New Plan

BEGINNING

A rebellious group, fomented by Drake, wants to leave the camp for safety. A couple of men want their wives to come along.

MIDDLE

Jensen tells them its 90 miles of dangers they won’t survive. They are joined by some of his crew and a mutiny starts to take shape. Jensen tries to instill fear in them, but they won’t listen.

END

Victoria points out, there is strength in 100 strong unity. its the only way the old folks, women and children will survive. Jensen listens to her with admiration. her conviction strengthens his resolve. Jensen pulls out his gun and won’t permit desertion of the camp. They are still on the ocean where his authority is supreme.

Key Scene 3- Things go well, until…

BEGINNING

Life is back to normal in a strained community. Drake steals food and hides it away.

INT. TENT – DAY

TE 5: Jensen shakes her admiration of Amelia Earhart to the core. They connect more deeply. Sympathetic feelings.

MIDDLE

Jensen reveals vulnerability – Captain story.

END

The radio crackles to life. Dewey sends desperate call for rescue. the tent and antenna blow away in the wind.

EXT.ICE FIELD CAMP – DAY

Drake and Bearded Man are huddled near a small storehouse.

DRAKE

You have your life, and yer free to save it. If you want to do this, you should do what’s right.

BEARDED MAN

We’ll make it to land.

DRAKE

The captain can’t keep you prisoner, you know.

Bearded man moves off. Drake watches him go, then reaches into the cache and takes two tins of meat.

A small group of men are gathered, talking among themselves. They start to gather up food and supplies as though going on a trip.

INT. COOK TENT -DAY

Victoria is working with three women preparing food.

A man comes in, grabs his wife and pulls her outside.

Victoria, worried, follows them.

EXT.ICE FIELD CAMP – DAY

The man brings his wife and joins up with a group of men who are preparing to leave. Victoria follows in consternation.

Others see whats happening and come closer.

BEARDED MAN

If you want to live, come with us.

BEARDED MAN 2

We’re going south to land.

Voices in the group echo enthusiasm.

Jensen strides over, towering over all of them.

JENSEN

If there was any chance of succeeding, I would have done this a week ago. It’s a fool’s goal.

BEARDED MAN 2

Aye, for a hundred people and babies. But we are a strong dozen.

BEARDED MAN

(shouts)

Come on, able bodied men, join us.

Half of the sailors on the crew move to join them.

JENSEN

Its ninety miles of moving ice, ridges and fissures. You don’t know the ice, with its thin crusts and deadly, freezing water beneath. Arctic wind can kill by freezing flesh. The nights are worse, with no landmarks and no direction. A fog alone will lead to starvation.(pause) Stay here in camp. There is shelter and food.

BEARDED MAN

For how long?

Voices in the group echo the sentiment. They have heard enough. Two dozen strong, they start to shuffle out of camp.

VICTORIA

What about the women? You wish to kill your wives?

One of the two women in the group turns to Victoria

MARRIED WOMAN

I go with my man.

The second woman looks at Victoria with fear in her eyes.

VICTORIA

Yes, every woman needs her man to help her through. And every child needs help to live. And each man needs another.

Jensen watches her with interest.

VICTORIA (CONT’D)

No man can survive this on his own.

What of the old ones, who are helpless without us, and the unborn child? Should they die and not you? You all would abandon everyone but yourselves.

Drake watches her with interest from a distance.

VICTORIA (CONT’D)

If we are together – all together – we will live.

Jensen’s resolve is strengthened, but…

BEARDED MAN 2

What makes you think you know anything of us, woman?

Jensen pulls out his gun and moves forward.

JENSEN

I will not permit anyone to leave our camp. Doing so, will condemn some of you as mutineers. Even if you survive this, your lives will be forever punished.

BEARDED MAN

You will never shoot your own passengers and crew, captain.

Jensen puts his gun away, steps up to the Bearded Man and crushes him in a bear hug and a neck grip. The man gasps for breath.

JENSEN

I remind you we are still on the ocean. I am still in command, my authority is supreme.

EXT.ICE FIELD CAMP – DAY

The camp is seen from a distance across the frozen waste. Drake appears in foreground, walking and brooding. He sits on an ice mound, staring.

EXT. JENSEN’S TENT -DAY

The two children 8 and 10 walk by and throw a chunk of ice at the tent.

Jensen’s head pops out, sees the kids with a half smile and he growls at them. They laugh and run away.

INT.JENSEN’S TENT – DAY

He comes back in and sits down in the cramped space.

JENSEN

The trouble will pass. They will forget.

REVEAL Victoria sitting opposite.

VICTORIA

I hope so. When people are desperate…

JENSEN

You did a bold thing. You shamed them. What made you want this?

VICTORIA

This…(chuckles) I was looking for far off adventure. Its not what it seems.

JENSEN

Many things aren’t what they seem.

VICTORIA

I loved reading about Amelia Earhart in the paper. She does such…wonderful things, and has such freedom. That was the first time I fell in love. And then after that, It was also a flyer, he showed me that marvelous freedom first hand. Soaring above the world.

JENSEN

Like being on the sea.

VICTORIA

Captain, there’s…

JENSEN

In here miss, I’m not captain. its Jocko.

VICTORIA

My fiance is Tony. He is such a good flyer, almost like Amelia. I guess I love them both. We argued badly when I left home. He knew I shouldn’t have come.

JENSEN

You only know about the Earhart woman from the papers?

She nods.

JENSEN (CONT’D)

She is not what she seems.

Victoria looks at him in anxiety.

JENSEN (CONT’D)

If I had newspapers write about me, even I wouldn’t be what I seem.

VICTORIA

But, she does amazing things, her flights, her records.

JENSEN

And what have you done?

VICTORIA

I suppose…nothing.

JENSEN

I think you have done more than Earhart. You helped save some life yesterday. Believe in yourself – you. Don’t put too much stock in a symbol like her, because a symbol especially is not what it seems.

She is deeply affected. She gets up to leave. As she gets to the tent flap…

JENSEN (CONT’D)

Miss Victoria, I never want my crew to hear this.

She turns and stands near him.

JENSEN (CONT’D)

(Captain’s story about the ideal of never losing a ship. Vulnerability, now he has lost one)

INT. LARGE TENT – DAY

The radio crackles to life and Dewey is startled. He commands one of the men in the tent

DEWEY

Quick get the captain.

The man runs outside, yelling

MAN (O.S.)

There’s a radio call!

People start crowding into the tent. Dewey screams for quiet.

DEWEY

QUIET! Please Send help, send ships, send anything. Anchorage, Nome, anyone, come in…

Static is broken by voice fragments:

RADIO VOICE

“zero visibility,,,prolonged whiteout conditions…what your position is…”

The tent flaps wildly and starts to lift up with a gust of wind.

Men start to grab at it, but it suddenly flies over their heads, carrying two men with it.

Dewey still sits at his console screaming into the wind.

DEWEY

WE’RE FREEZING TO DEATH, FOR GOD’S SAKE!

Then the antenna is blown away.

[mark Morris]

What I learned from this assignment is the three-step process of creating a scene: starting with the Beat Sheet, expanding to the Outline with the emotional core, and finally writing the dialog scene makes the scene-writing process much easier.

Mark’s Act 3 Reaction to Midpoint

BEAT SHEET

EXT. ICE FIELD – DAY

Rethink everything: They build crude shelters and tents and create a small town to survive. Drake steals food and hides it away.

OUTLINE

BEGINNING

EXT. ICE FIELD – DAY

People struggle to get out of the wind. Jensen shouts at the crew to build shelters from packing crates and canvas. Passengers huddle together helplessly watch the crew. Victoria is the first to pitch in and help.

MIDDLE

Jensen notices and thanks her. Some of the male passengers see her example and join in. Some threaten others who don’t offer to help. Some are too cold, others scared; and one man pleads to be left where he is, huddling with his pregnant wife, keeping her warm.

END:

A camp takes shape – a wooden hut from lumber and crates for the ten women, crude tents out of canvas for the men.

INT. LARGE TENT -DAY-

A radio antenna is raised, and the transmitter is set up in the largest tent. People cram in, some cursing those who haven’t rescued them. Some voices urge trekking over the ice pack to land before they drift farther away. Arguments develop into a passionate melee. Victoria speaks up and firmly urges, “they haven’t given up on us. They will come for us.”

INT. NAVAL STATION, ANCHORAGE -DAY

Several DUTY OFFICERS are a picture of inactivity, lounging with their hot coffee in the ops center. They discuss rescue ideas – more ships, using a blimp, dog sleds. And they find reasons why they can do nothing except wait for the Dreadnaught.

EXT.ICE FIELD – DAY

101 people are strewn around the ice field in confusion, amidst random piles of crates and supplies. Some are wandering aimlessly trying to get out of the wind.

Jensen assembles the crew.

JENSEN

CREW OF THE NORTHWIND! MUSTER HERE NOW!

Between 15 and 20 men of the ship crew gather round.

JENSEN (CONT’D)

Quickly, build shelters. Use the crates. Get your tools. Make tents from canvas and rope.

The wind howls and fights against them. Men curse as the wind slashes their faces with whipping ropes. Some forget that touching metal tools without a glove means a hand will stick to it – and burn.

Passengers and scientists huddle together and helplessly watch the crew.

Victoria gets up and grabs a rope, helping two men tie it down. She goes to others and helps – carrying supplies, moving cans and boxes.

ON CAPTAIN JENSEN

He is everywhere, directing, giving orders, moving people into tents as they are built.

He passes Victoria coming out of a tent.

JENSEN (CONT’D)

Thank you, girl. Good.

VICTORIA

I’d rather keep moving than freeze. I’m sorry about your ship.

EXT.ANOTHER PART OF ICE CAMP – DAY

Several men watch Victoria working and decide to pitch in. One bearded man shuffles past several men huddling against a crate.

BEARDED MAN

Get off your butts or I’ll wallop ya lazy bastards.

FIRST COLD MAN

Its too cold to move. I won’t.

The second man just closes his eyes in misery. Bearded man moves on, sees another man sitting huddled with a blanket.

BEARDED MAN

You, lend a hand.

SECOND COLD MAN

Please, no. Leave me be.

He unwraps the blanket revealing his pregnant wife huddled for warmth.

EXT.ICE FIELD CAMP-DAY

A camp takes shape – a wooden hut from lumber and crates for the ten women, crude tents out of canvas for the men.

A radio antenna is raised, and the transmitter is set up in the largest tent.

INT. LARGE TENT -DAY

People cram in, upset, anxious, cold and ornery.

BEARDED MAN

How are we going to survive? No one can live this way.

WEATHER MAN

We should probably trek overland to safety before we drift further away.

DRAKE

You do that then, if you like.

TALL MAN

We’re all dead…if we stay on this ice.

There are shouts from others. Some are confused, and everybody starts talking at once.

Jensen is huddled to one side with DEWEY the radio operator, finalizing the hookup and operation.

Jensen stands to his full height, as he is the largest in the room. He just scans the crowd silently, as the arguments rise in volume.

Victoria is standing near the back with Large Woman 1. They are the only women there. Large Woman 1 tugs on Victoria’s sleeve and motions to her. Victoria looks drained. The woman slips out of the tent, leaving Victoria behind.

CU – JENSEN

Still gazing calmly at the uproar. Then…

JENSEN

(roars)

NOOOOOO MORE.

Everyone is silenced, stunned. Jensen looks invincible. A small voice is heard from the back.

VICTORIA

They haven’t given up on us.

(more firmly)

We can’t give up hope. They will come for us.

(strongly)

Brave men are risking their lives at this moment to find us.

INT. NAVAL STATION, ANCHORAGE -DAY

Several DUTY OFFICERS are a picture of inactivity, lounging with their hot coffee in the ops center.

ENSIGN

Refill lieutenant?

LIEUTENANT GEORGE

No thanks, Jimmy. Good here.

LIEUTENANT CARROLL

When the weather clears, we could launch two more cutters.

LIEUTENANT GEORGE

We’d have to get another positioning to know the range. Fuel is a factor in the ice.

ENSIGN

MR. Carroll there’s a blimp at Seattle. Its got range.

LIEUTENANT GEORGE

Hmmm. Maybe, wonder what kind of capacity it has.

LIEUTENANT CARROLL

I don’t think it can handle the winds.

LIEUTENANT GEORGE

Dogsleds.

ENSIGN

Yeah, maybe.

LIEUTENANT CARROLL

We have to hope the Dreadnaught can get through.

The others nod in agreement and sip coffee.

[mark Morris]

What I learned Doing This Assignment is now that my subplot is being created, I have to think about the rythm of the story to know where to insert these important scenes. This movie is about 35% HIS story and 65% HER story, and they are both simultaneous, without meeting up til the end.

Mark Has Completed ACT 2 – Draft 1

OUTLINE The most powerful ice-breaking ship, the “Dreadnaught” is sent on a rescue mission from the Aleutians. A blizzard prevents it from reaching them.

BEGINNING

INT. ANCHORAGE COAST GUARD STATION – DAY

A vessel in distress call comes in requesting the ice-breaker for assistance. The ice-breaker is undergoing repairs.

MIDDLE

INT. ALEUTIANS COAST GUARD STATION – DAY

The distress call from Anchorage station fires up the “Dreadnaught,” the most powerful ice-breaker in the world. It cruises at full speed north and encounters large ice masses

END

INT. /EXT DREADNAUGHT – DAY

The ice gets so thick that speed is down to a crawl. And a blizzard takes away visibility. The radio man sends word to Anchorage. The ship can go no further.

INT. ANCHORAGE COAST GUARD STATION – DAY

A radio operator is listening to a distress call.

RADIO VOICE (O.S.)

Anchorage station, this is ocean vessel Nothwind. We have an urgent need for the ice-breaker. We are locked, ice bound and drifting north. This is urgent.

ANCHORAGE RADIO OP

Northwind, the ice-breakeer is in repair dock. I will forward your request to the Aleutian station. The Dreadnaught is there.

EXT. ALEUTIANS COAST GUARD STATION – DAY

The massive engines of the ice-breaking vessel “Dreadnaught” rev up and the ship steams away at full speed.

EXT. BOW OF THE DREADNAUGHT – DAY

Ice floes are large, slamming into the bow

COAST GUARD MAN

(shouts in megaphone)

Reduce speed. Thick pack ice.

INT. DREADNAUGHT RADIO ROOM -NIGHT

The radio operator makes a call.

RADIO OP

Anchorage station, this is the Dreadnaught. We are not able to proceed. Visibility zero. We have encountered pack ice and ridges. We will keep trying.

OUTLINE: Tony enters an air race. His buddy Nick helps with prepping the plane.

BEGINNING

EXT. TONY’S BARN – DAY

Tony and Nick are packing a trailer with parts and supplies. It’s hot and they sweat. They are headed for the big one – the Reno Air Races. Nick drives off with the trailer.

MIDDLE

EXT. TONY’S PLANE – DAY

He loads a case into the plane and takes off, roaring into the sky in a sleek race plane.

END

EXT. DESERT – DAY

Tony flies on the deck past yucca trees and then streaks up into the clouds

EXT. TONY’S BARN – DAY

Tony and Nick are packing a trailer with parts and supplies. It’s hot and they sweat.

NICK

You want the fur gloves too? Reno can get cold sometimes.

Tony wipes away sweat.

TONY

Naw. I’d love a little chill. It keeps me alert.

Nick throws the fur-lined gloves in the rucksack anyway.

NICK

Look, Tone. I’ll be there in about five hours. Don’t start without me.

Nick gets in the car.

NICK (CONT’D)

I got ya covered from this end.

TONY

Thanks, buddy. Preciate it

Tony slaps him on the shoulder, Nick drives off with the trailer.

EXT. TONY’S PLANE – DAY

He loads a case into his sleek race plane, hops into the open cockpit. He pats the fuselage.

TONY (CONT’D)

Here we go, baby. You can do it.

The engine starts with a rumble and he takes off, roaring into the sky

EXT. DESERT – DAY

Tony flies on the deck past yucca trees and cactus, and then streaks up into the clouds

OUTLINE

Victoria is stranded outside when the hatchways freeze shut. They have to be chopped open.

BEGINNING

EXT RESEARCH SHIP DECK – DAY

Victoria is bundled in furs and walking the deck, on lookout.

The wind picks up savagely. A blizzard starts blowing snow and ice. She tries to read the thermometer, but its frozen over.

MIDDLE

She tries to open the metal door to go inside, but its frozen solid with a layer of ice. She pounds on a porthole. She collapses with fatigue. A man swings an axe and chops the ice away from the door, carries her inside.

END

INT. CABIN ON SHIP – DAY

She is lying on a bunk, given hot tea and recovering. The Weather Man chastises her for a near tragedy. She is bewildered, and doesn’t think its her fault.

EXT RESEARCH SHIP DECK – DAY

Victoria is bundled in furs and walking the deck, on lookout.

The wind picks up savagely. A blizzard starts blowing snow and ice. She tries to read the thermometer, but its frozen over.

She tries to open the metal door to go inside, but its frozen solid with a layer of ice.

She pounds on a porthole. She collapses and faints with fatigue.

A man swings an axe and chops the ice away from the door, carries her inside.

INT. CABIN ON SHIP – DAY

Victoria is lying on a bunk. Shivering, she sips hot tea.

The Weather Man enters and just stares at her. She is bewildered at his look.

WEATHER MAN

I told you. I told you not to.

VICTORIA

Iiit’s not myyy fffault!

WEATHER MAN

Whose is it then?

VICTORIA

Please…don’t blame me.

WEATHER MAN

You’re done.

VICTORIA

It could have happened to anyone.

WEATHER MAN

The team decided. You’re done.

He exits abruptly.

She screams in anger.

OUTLINE

Tony wins the air race and hears the news about the stranded ship.

BEGINNING

EXT. RENO AIR STADIUM – DAY

Tony wins the air race in Reno and crowds surge around him. Nick fights his way through the crowd and reporters.

Reporters want to know more about him and his personal story. He lets slip that he plans to take time off from flying to get married as soon as his fiance is back from her Alaska research voyage.

MIDDLE

Nick urgently whispers in Tony’s ear as the reporter realizes she is on the research ship. “Haven’t you heard the news?” The crowd and the reporters are stunned. He turns white as he learns of the disaster from Nick. Without a word he leaves the celebration.

END

He and Nick walk across the field toward his plane. Tony wants to know everything.

Nick explains the ice breaker is not able to reach the ship due to ice buildup. Nick realizes air rescue is the only answer. Nick warns him of attempting to fly in the arctic.

Nick responds that this is the time to attempt it, rather than leave it to military desk jockeys. He takes off amid wild cheering from the crowd as they sense what he is about to do.

EXT. RENO AIR STADIUM – DAY

Tony wins the air race with blazing speed. Crowds cheer and surge around him as he gets out of the cockpit and moves to the victory stand. Nick fights his way through the crowd and reporters.

REPORTER 1

Tony, how does it feel to win a big one in your own creation?

TONY

It feels like its about time. No, honestly, my buddy, Nick Chandler had so much to do with it…I couldn’t have done it without him.

REPORTER 2

What are your plans now, Any transcontinental flights in your future?

TONY

Not yet. My next big plan is…I’m getting married.

REPORTER 2

Hey, congratulations. My readers want to know when. My female readers will be disappointed.

TONY

Just as soon as a ship can steam back from Point Barrow.

At that moment Nick elbows his way through the crowd and whispers urgently in Tony’s ear.

Reporter #1 looks horrified.

REPORTER 1

She’s not on the weather ship is she? Haven’t you heard the news?

But Tony doesn’t hear. He almost turns white as Nick tells him the horrible news.

Without a word he walks off the platform and leaves the celebration.

Hushed whispers ripple through the crowd.

EXT. AIR STADIUM FIELD -DAY – DAY

Tony and Nick hustle toward Tony’s plane.

TONY

What else did the navy say?

NICK

The ice-breaker hasn’t been able to reach them for two weeks. It keeps getting turned back by ice buildup. They Can’t punch through.

TONY

For God’s sake, Nick. Air rescue is the only answer.

NICK

You ever tried flying in an arctic blizzard?

TONY

Never got around to it yet. But it looks like a good time to try.

NICK

Please tell me your kidding.

Tony stops abruptly.

TONY

Damned if I’m going to leave this to some wet-nosed desk jocks who need a higher-up to tell them what to do.

He grabs a jacket from the cockpit and puts on his leather gloves and hops in.

TONY (CONT’D)

See ya later, buddy. Don’t wait up. Wish me luck.

He starts the engine with a roar.

NICK

(shouting)

They’re drifting. The ice is moving. You’ll never find them.

Tony revs up. Nick, plants a kiss with his hand on the side of the plane.

EXT. CHEERING CROWD – DAY

The crowd breaks into wild cheering as they realize what he is doing.

OUTLINE

BEGINNING

EXT/INT TONY’S PLANE

Tony flies to Anchorage and finds out that Point Barrow station is where the search area is. He continues on to Barrow station and meets the commander.

MIDDLE

INT. BARROW STATION – DAY

The commander can’t believe that he flew there from Anchorage in an open plane. He tells Tony that his two search planes are grounded due to weather. Tony politely asks for a map and coordinates for the ship. The commander complies and tells him its a foolhardy thing to do.

END

EXT. BARROW STATION – DAY

Tony gets re-fueled by the ground crew and flies off into the weather.

EXT/INT TONY’S PLANE

Tony is bundled up in his open cockpit. He flies from sun into clouds and gets colder. The wind on his face feels like needles. He doesn’t see the clouds or fog, but only her face in front of him.

He gooses the throttle a little more.

EXT.MAVY POST ANCHORAGE – DAY

Tony has landed and is talking with a Navy man on the tarmac who points him to the HQ building, and watches him in disbelief.

INT. NAVY OFFICE ANCHORAGE -DAY

An enlisted man desk-jockey sits at a desk. Through the open door to the next room can be seen the uniformed COMMANDER.

Tony trudges in with frost on his face, head covering and clothes. He rips off his gloves.

The desk-jockey looks at him in disbelief.

DESK JOCKEY

Where in hell did you come from?

TONY

California.

INT.COMMANDER’S OFFICE, ANCHORAGE – DAY

The commander is standing behind his desk, looking down on Tony who is seated in front of him, drinking a steaming cup of coffee.

COMMANDER

That’s hard to believe. In an open plane?

TONY

Yessir.

COMMANDER

Well, I doubt if anybody can get through his weather. Helluva try, son. But a good pilot knows when he’s licked.

Tony leans forward with a determined look.

TONY

I know what I’m doing, commander. I have to do this. My fiance is abourd the Northwind. Do you understand?

Commander is silent, sits down, looking at Tony intently.

TONY (CONT’D)

All I’m asking is weather and navigational info for their last reported position.

Silence.

COMMANDER

Stevie! Bring more coffee.

Desk Jockey enters, refills Tony’s mug.

COMMANDER (CONT’D)

And the Northwind position charts from Nome.

(to Tony)

You will wait for good weather.

TONY

How long will that be? Look, its my plane. Its my risk. Its my skin. Rescue that comes too late is no rescue at all. Don’t you agree?

COMMANDER

There are two navy planes in Alaska. What can you do that they can’t? They are equipped to fly in the arctic – You aren’t. They are both at the Nome station. When the weather improves, they will search for survivors and drop supplies.

The desk jockey comes back in, coffee pot in one hand and charts in the other. He hands Tony the charts. Tony holds out his cup for more. More is poured.

Tony takes a last gulp. Nods at them, and walks out.

EXT/INT TONY’S PLANE – DAY

He flies through weather and wind, fighting on. He takes off his leather gloves and puts on the fur gloves that Nick threw in.

TONY

Thanks, once again, buddy.

EXT. NAVY AIR STATION, NOME – DAY

Tony is on the tarmac talking with a GROUND CREWMAN in front of two small quonset huts and a little admin building.

GROUND CREWMAN

You’re a rescue plane? In that?

TONY

I’m it, and I’d like to get going.

GROUND CREWMAN

Sir, do you have any kind of authorization for this flight?

TONY

Would I come up here if I didn’t?

GROUND CREWMAN

But you’re a civilian.

TONY

Exactly. That’s why I was given the charts – I’m authorized by the commander at Anchorage. Go ahead and re-fuel.

EXT. NAVY AIR STATION, NOME- DAY

Tony gets re-fueled by the ground crew and flies off into the weather. The two ground crew just shake their heads as he disappears into clouds.

[mark Morris]

What I learned from this assignment is to constantly re-evaluate the balance between plotting the action and furthering the protagonists journey. How transformational events and turning points carry the weight in moving the story forward.

MARK’S Key Scene 4 – The Midpoint

Key Scene 4 The Midpoint

BEGINNING:

EXT. SHIP DECK – DAY

A wave of ice crashes into the ship, severely damaging it. The order is given to abandon ship.

MIDDLE:

EXT. SHIP DECK – DAY

Some passengers panic and scream. Bedlam starts to take hold. But Jensen quells it with his commanding presence.

Drake and the crewmen start unloading the ship’s stores; food, tents, lumber, crates, tools. Drake treats a member of the crew with torturous delight, to her horror.

Victoria confides in Jensen that she thinks Drake is a horrible man and nothing but trouble.

Jensen restores her confidence and convinces her to help in the evacuation.

END:

EXT. ICE FIELD – NIGHT

Victoria carries the baby off the ship. Everyone is evacuated and they watch as the ship explodes and sinks. Drake takes perverse pleasure in their predicament. Victoria and Jensen reinforce each other.

KEY SCENE 4- MID POINT

EXT. RESEARCH SHIP – DAY

A solid wave of ice thirty feet high advances toward the ship with an earth-shaking roar.

It crashes into the side of the ship. The ship shudders and rolls over almost on its side.

INT/EXT SHIP – SERIES OF SHOTS

Jensen commands the crew and passengers

JENSEN

(shouting)

Abandon ship. Everyone on the ice.

People rush to the low side rail and throw over suitcases and bogs.

People hang from the rail and drop to the ice.

The ice starts crushing the hull. The prop is broken off.

Some passengers panic and scream. Bedlam starts to take hold. But Jensen quells it with his commanding presence.

Drake and the crewmen start unloading the ship’s stores; food, tents, lumber, crates, tools.

EXT. SHIP DECK – DAY

Jensen hurries from place to place, directing everything.

JENSEN

Drake, get the stores stowed on the ice. Move them all way from the ship.

DRAKE

Ays. She’ll blow when the boilers go.

He goes over the side and shouts orders.

Victoria comes on deck and sees the overwhelming turmoil. She looks over the rail and sees Drake hit a young sailor twice, knocking him to the ice, berating him.

Suddenly, Jensen is at her side.

JENSEN

Victoria, you can help. There’s much to be done.

VICTORIA

He’s an awful man. He’s a danger to all of us.

Jensen looks out at the men on the ice.

JENSEN

Its his knowledge and experience I rely on. Not his personality.

VICTORIA

He’s horrible. I’m afraid of what he might do.

JENSEN

He’ll do nothing. I command him. He knows my rules. Now listen to me. I need your help.

She is troubled, unsure, distracted.

JENSEN (CONT’D)

Are you with me?

VICTORIA

Eh, yes Captain.

JENSEN

Help the women gather their things, The women and children must get off safely. And the baby.

VICTORIA

Not to the ice. They’ll freeze.

JENSEN

The ship is lost. That’s all we can do. Every soul must abandon the ship.

Tears come to her eyes. It feels like she is a small child, asking her father.

VICTORIA

How will we survive.

JENSEN

We have plenty of supplies to last.

He brushes a tear away.

EXT. SHIP – NIGHT

The evacuation efforts are still underway. Every once in a while metallic SCREACHING GROANS comes from the ship as it shakes under the strain of ice pressure.

Victoria is helping the last of the women on to the ice pack. She takes the baby from its mother’s arms and carries it to safety.

Large piles of cargo and supplies are everywhere, as men carry them away from the lights and into the darkness.

Scores of people sit on the ice in numb misery, staring at the ship.

PLACEHOLDER SCENE: Jensen takes his charts and log from the bridge. Says goodbye to the ship.

PLACEHOLDER SCENE: Drake is up to something in the empty ship.

EXT.SHIP – NIGHT

Jensen stands at the rail. A Crewman gives him the personnel manifest. He checks it over.

JENSEN

Everyone accounted for?

The crewman nods.

JENSEN (CONT’D)

Thank you, Howard. Go ahead.

The crewman climbs to the ice. Jensen glances around, then leaves the ship last.

Suddenly the lights dim and flicker off. Sounds of surprise and disappointment from the crowd.

Two sailors light storm lanterns.

A PIERCING WHISTLE sound erupts from the ship in a rising crescendo. The ship is being crushed.

SHIP ENGINEER

Get back, the boilers are going!

Everyone scrambles to back up, falling over each other. They run in total confusion 50 yards back to the supply piles. Sudden panic sets in after the hours of waiting and watching.

Suddenly a HUGE EXPLOSION rocks them, followed by a fireball reaching skyward that lights up the eerie terrain. A second EXPLOSION makes them cower in terror.

The ship catches fire and grows in intensity, bathing everyone in an orange glow. They can feel the welcome heat.

A man runs with open arms toward the ship, screaming “thank you for warm fire.” Drake runs after him and tackles him to the ice.

DRAKE

We’re better off now.

EXT.ICE FIELD – NIGHT (2 HOURS LATER)

Everyone is still staring at the ship in silent shock.

Drake looks over and watches Victoria’s face in the flickering firelight. He steps from a shadow into the firelight and oozes menace.

Victoria moves next to Jensen. She sees him choke back a sob and close his eyes as the ship starts sinking. She holds on to his arm. Their eyes meet.

JENSEN

Victoria, this is just the beginning.

Women scream as the ship sinks. Men weep openly. The rest stare in shock as the fire goes out and the arctic night descends.

CU – SAILOR

Sitting on a pile of lumber, he takes a sip from a bottle and toasts the ship.

SAILOR

Wish you were here, ma.

[mark Morris]

What I learned From doing this assignment is that I am now feeling out where in the main story line the subplots and supporting story lines will go.

Lesson 14: Mark’s ACT 2 Middle Scenes

KEY SCENE 2 OUTLINE:

INT. SHIP PASSENGER AREA – DAY

Victoria huddles with some of the women passengers, afraid.

Two women question her about why she is on board. She reveals that she is working on the research efforts and won’t be getting off the ship when they reach port.

One woman is a doomsayer, telling her that she should leave the ship at the earliest opportunity. The other woman dislikes her and thinks Victoria is a loose woman, being on a ship with men.

INT. SHIP DINING AREA – DAY

Twenty-five people at a time can be seated. Victoria is seated with a few of the passengers. The disapproving woman makes a snide comment, but Victoria is polite and offers words of encouragement.

The weather man tells her that they are taking shifts on deck to make weather observations and provide a lookout for rescue. Victoria volunteers to take a watch. Even though the weather man advises her not to. She “wants to fit in.”

Word comes in to the room that a ship has been sighted. They rush up to the deck.

KEY SCENE 3 OUTLINE

EXT. ON DECK – TWILIGHT

BEGINNING:Night and day merge together into an arctic twilight of gloom. Around them, as far as they can see, massive shapes surge and crash as the ice shifts in the wind and sea.

The lookout yells ”Ship ahoy to starboard.”

MIDDLE: Everyone rushes to the rail to see. Almost everyone on board is excited. Some hold their breaths, afraid to celebrate yet.

Its a ship. But god, what a nightmare. Its 50 years old, with rigging and masts and tattered sails encased in ice. As it moves past they see the corpses – frozen in place – still waiting for rescue.

END: Everyone is horrified. Screams and yells erupt.

Victoria shudders in horror.

The man behind her begins to laugh. Her horror rises to a new level as she recognizes Drake, the man who followed her.

He mocks the dead corpses, saying they’ll never be rescued, and all of them will be joining those derelicts.

Victoria rushes below deck. He watches her go, leering.

KEY SCENE 2: Protagonist takes on a plan and executes it

INT. SHIP PASSENGER AREA – DAY

Victoria huddles with some of the women passengers, afraid. She sits next to TWO LARGE MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN.

VICTORIA

Are you cold? I can get you a blanket.

LARGE WOMAN 1

Ah, one more blanket won’t help.

Victoria, miserable, just nods.

VICTORIA

I never expected this.

LARGE WOMAN 2

What did you expect, sweetie pie?

Victoria is silent, unsure.

LARGE WOMAN 2 (CONT’D)

Expect the worst in Alaska. It always happens that way. Ever since my husband took the job at the Barrow station, I have to make the trip twice a year. This is the last time, I swear.

LARGE WOMAN 1

You may get your wish.

(to Victoria)

Why are you here? You a tourist.

VICTORIA

I’m not a passenger. I am part of the research team.

LARGE WOMAN 1

(surprised)

Oh, what do you do? What’s your job? You a scientist?

VICTORIA

Well, I don’t exactly know yet.

Large Woman 2 smirks.

LARGE WOMAN 2

Oh, I bet you don’t. You’ll find out soon enough…on a ship full of men.

LARGE WOMAN 1

You mean you aren’t getting off in port?

VICTORIA

I wish I were now. No, I’m stuck here. So I hope to help out some way.

LARGE WOMAN 1

If we get to – when we get to port, you must get off this ship. I’m telling you. This ship is doomed.

VICTORIA

Don’t be afraid.

INT. SHIP DINING AREA – DAY

Twenty-five people at a time can be seated. Victoria is seated with a few of the passengers at a long table. A MOTHER and seven year-old BOY are next to her.

VICTORIA (CONT’D)

This food isn’t as good as your mother makes, is it?

SEVEN YEAR-OLD

I don’t know what it is. And I don’t like it.

VICTORIA

Me too. But its better than nothing, eh?

The boy smiles.

VICTORIA (CONT’D)

Have you ever been on a ship before?

SEVEN YEAR-OLD

No. I don’t like them.I like airplanes. They make noise.

VICTORIA

I do too. I had a ride in one. My friend is a pilot. They are wonderful.

Large Woman 2 sits down across the table.

LARGE WOMAN 2

You’re not sitting at the table with your men friends?

VICTORIA

Those men are your friends too. They will get us rescued.

LARGE WOMAN 2

(softens

I hope so.

Victoria gets up and moves to the science team table. The weather man is seated with four of the team who are looking over a map and notes.

WEATHER MAN

Everyone, you know Victoria.

They nod and acknowledge her, then go back to their conversation.

VICTORIA

What are they working on?

WEATHER MAN

Comparing the temperature readings to the historical trend. This blizzard is a historic low.

VICTORIA

I would like to be doing something to help.

WEATHER MAN

Not much to do. Jensen only allows one of us on deck at a time in these conditions. We can’t take water temp readings because there is no water. Only air temp. So we are doing half-hour shifts to record air temps and be a lookout.

VICTORIA

A lookout. For what?

WEATHER MAN

Dog teams, I suppose. It’s the only way over the ice.

VICTORIA

I can volunteer. I will take a shift.

WEATHER MAN

You don’t know what its like.

VICTORIA

I want to do something.

WEATHER MAN

I advise you not to.

VICTORIA

Why do you? I want to fit in.

A crewman shouts from the doorway.

CREWMAN

A ship! A ship is sighted!

Instant pandemonium. Everyone rushes out in excitement.

KEY SCENE 3: Not only does the plan fail…but

EXT. ON DECK – TWILIGHT

Night and day merge together into an arctic twilight of gloom. Around them, as far as they can see, massive shapes surge and crash as the ice shifts in the wind and sea.

The lookout yells ”Ship ahoy to starboard.”

EXT. ICE FIELD AND HORIZON – TWILIGHT

A tiny silhouette with masts can be seen far off in the distance.

EXT. ON DECK – TWILIGHT – CONTINUOUS

Everyone rushes to the rail to see. Almost everyone on board is excited. Some hold their breaths, afraid to celebrate yet.

EXT. ICE FIELD AND HORIZON – TWILIGHT

Its a ship. But god, what a nightmare. Its 50 years old, with rigging and masts and tattered sails encased in ice. As it moves past they see the corpses – frozen in place – still waiting for rescue.

EXT. ON DECK – TWILIGHT – CONTINUOUS

Everyone is horrified. Screams and yells erupt.

Victoria shudders in horror.

The man behind her begins to laugh. Her horror rises to a new level as she recognizes Drake, the repulsive man who followed her.

DRAKE

They’ll never be rescued. Sailors at sea forever. And here we are to join em. Together with the dead we are.

Victoria rushes below deck. He watches her go, leering.

[mark Morris]

What I learned from this assignment is its harder to write something out of thin air than it is to write as a progression of the motivations and needs of the characters that you have been using as a base for the story. The personal arcs are the spine of the action. and will always guide the writing.

MARK’S ACT 2 Reaction to TP 1

ACT 2 BEAT SHEET

PLACEHOLDER: The most powerful ice-breaking shop, the “Dreadnaght” is sent on a rescue mission from the Aleutians. A blizzard prevents it from reaching them.

PLACEHOLDER: Jensen assembles all 102 people to tell them the bad news. 88 men, 10 women (one pregnant) and 2 children.

PLACEHOLDER: Victoria talks to Jensen. Are we all right?

TE 3: A ship is sighted in the distance, and salvation seems at hand. But it is revealed to be a derelict with frozen corpses on deck.

Drake, laughs ghoulishly, reveals his ugly inner drive, and declares they will never be saved. She is shocked to see Drake for the first time, realizes its the man who followed her. She realizes what an awful danger he is..

INT. ABOARD SHIP – DAY

Victoria reveals her concern about Drake to Jensen. They relate to each other.

PLACEHOLDER: Victoria is stranded outside when the hatchways freeze shut. They have to be chopped open.

EXT. RESEARCH SHIP – DAY

Midpoint Turning Point: The ship is slowly crushed in the ice. They have to evacuate to the ice field.

ACT 2 OUTLINE

INT. SHIP MESS HALL – DAY

BEGINNING; Everyone on board assembles in the mess. 90 men, 10 women, one pregnant and two children.

MIDDLE: He tells them they are locked in the ice, trapped. An ice breaker is heading there to rescue them.

END: Radio message says the ice-breaker can’t get through the blizzard.

INT. HALLWAY – DAY

BEGINNING: Victoria confides in Jensen, asks if the ship will be all right.

MIDDLE: He reassures her that rescue is probable, and when a horrible grinding noise echoes through the ship, he brusquely excuses himself.

END: She see a trickle of water running down the passageway.

INT. SHIP MESS HALL – DAY

Everyone on board assembles in the mess. 90 men who are researchers, scientists and crew; 10 women passengers,one pregnant – and two children.

Victoria enters, passes by the kids and gives them an encouraging look.

Jensen commands their attention.

JENSEN

This is an ice storm, and it will pass. At the moment we cannot maneuver. The ice has us locked in. I want you…

CRIES of dismay from the crowd; “Not frozen in ice,” “Are we moving at all?” “Will we drift to land?”

JENSEN (CONT’D)

Please, listen. We are still moving. Wind is blowing us…

MORE CRIES; “Are we moving toward land?” “We’re drifting north!”

JENSEN (CONT’D)

We are! We are drifting farther north!

Stunned silence in the room as the gravity of their plight hits home.

JENSEN (CONT’D)

We are only ten miles from Barrow station. I have radioed for the ice breaker. It will be able to clear a path to port. Don’t be worried, There’ll be no losses aboard my ship.

INT. SHIP HALLWAY – DAY

People are dispersing as Victoria comes up to the captain.

VICTORIA

Captain Jensen. Thank you for your words. I am relieved.

JENSEN

Yes, miss. Has anyone assigned you yet?

VICTORIA

Mr. Halland was about to make assignments, but he was interrupted.

JENSEN

Don’t let them give you shit work. They do lots of that.

He starts to move off.

VICTORIA

Captain, uh. Is the ship, I mean – is it going to be all right.

He looks down and sees her trembling hand.

JENSEN

I have never lost a ship. They will send help – likely by tomorrow.

A HORRIBLE GRINDING NOISE echoes through the ship as a shudder shakes them.

JENSEN (CONT’D)

Excuse me.

He runs off. She continues down the hall. She notices her feet making splashing noises, looks down and sees a trickle of water running down the floor.

[mark Morris]

What I learned doing this assignment is that I am seeing holes in the act and even in some scenes as I string together all the scenes in the act. But my act may still be a little short now – only 10 pages long. Oh well, it leaves more room for the main action of the story in acts 2 and 3.

Mark’s Finished Act 1

TITLE: THIS IS BASED ON A TRUE STORY AND ACTUAL EVENTS

EXT. HIGH DESERT – DAY

A desert rabbit sits alert on a rocky mound. The SILENCE gives way to a mounting DRONE of an engine. The rabbit looks in alarm.

EXT. HIGH SESERT – DAY

a small 1930’s open-cockpit plane comes over the horizon on the deck. It screams past the rabbit, which bolts off. A woman’s scream blends with the engine noise.

EXT. SMALL PLANE -DAY (SERIES OF SHOTS)

Victoria, 25, and Tony, 30’s are in the plane. She is ecstatic as he performs daring maneuvers, showing off for her. She squeals with delight, which inspires him to careen the aircraft over cars on the highway.

VICTORIA

I could do that, if you gave me a chance.

He smiles, puts the craft into a steep, almost vertical climb.

TONY

Could you marry me if you had a chance?

EXT. SMALL TOWN MAIN STREET – DAY

He flips the plane upside down and roars down the street at treetop level yelling

TONY

SHE’S GOING TO MARRY ME!

EXT. SMALL TOWN MAIN STREET – DAY

Victoria walks her bike across the street. A GIRL passes her.

GIRL

I think its peachy, Vicky. You are so lucky.

VICTORIA

Thanks Mary Jo. You’re sweet.

She continues on to a store where she parks her bike. A MIDDLE AGED MAN comes out.

MAN

Hello, Victoria. I guess I should say congratulations. The town approves.

She smiles demurely, embarrassed.

VICTORIA

Thanks you Mr. Mayor. I’m…sorry about the noise.

MAN

Yes, I’ll have to speak to Tony about that stunt.

He walks off, turns.

MAN (CONT’D)

You two were meant for each other.You have my blessing.

EXT. POST-OFFICE – DAY

Victoria comes out with GRAMPS, 78. She is opening a manila envelope.

VICTORIA

Gramps, if this is what I think it is…

GRAMPS

Lotta stamps on that.

She sits down on the steps and reads it. Amazement. She leaps for joy.

VICTORIA

Oh my gosh. This is wonderful. Gramps, remember I told you about a ship that does research in Alaska? This is it. Its real, and I could go. Gosh, its the bees knees.

GRAMPS

Vicky, you really want…? Its pretty cold there isn’t it?

A NEIGHBOR passes by and smiles.

WOMAN 1

I’m very happy for you, Victoria.

She continues on without stopping. Victoria waves

VICTORIA

I don’t mind cold. Its an adventure.

Another WOMAN walks by without stopping

WOMAN 2

Its wonderful my dear. Congratulations.

Victoria doesn’t hear. She’s hugging Gramps. She kisses him on the cheek in happiness.

In the back ground, half a dozen people are coming nearer, gathering around them during this.

VICTORIA

Its a chance to do something I’ve always wanted to do.

GRAMPS

What is it you want to do?

VICTORIA

Something – anything.

GRAMPS

Maybe its time I started worrying about you.

VICTORIA

Maybe its time you stopped worrying

about me.

GRAMPS

I’ll miss you. I will.

She smiles.

VICTORIA

And I’ll miss…

She is interrupted by the crowd of a dozen people who start clapping, and calling out, “we like weddings,” “Congratulations,””you’re getting married,”

Victoria turns to acknowledge them with love in her eyes.

INT. TONY’S BARN – DAY

It looks like a hospital for airplanes, with parts strewn all over and a half-built plane in the center.

Victoria enters, excited. She shoves the papers at Tony.

VICTORIA

Isn’t is fabulous. Its a huge ship and it sails through ice.I would be almost a scientist.

He glances at it, then ignores it and picks up a different tool.

TONY

Its a crazy idea. Victoria. Its just crazy.

She is startled. Speechless.

TONY (CONT’D)

You’re not Amelia Earhart you know.

VICTORIA

I could be. You think I’m just an ordinary girl…helpless.

Tony stops what he is doing.

TONY

No darling. I love you. Its dangerous. I forbid it.

She kisses him on the cheek

VICTORIA

You forbid it.

She picks up a tool from the ground.

VICTORIA (CONT’D)

There’s something you should know. I’m capable of doing things on my own-just like any boy.

TONY

That’s fine. Did you hear what I said?

VICTORIA

(mocking him)

…forbid it.

TONY

…DANGEROUS.

VICTORIA

Dangerous! Look who’s talking. Your ex-wife thought you were too dangerous. She tried to stop you from flying. I don’t try and do that to you. Who gave you the right to change who I am?

TONY

You’re trying to be Amelia Earhart. You’re not.

VICTORIA

You’re jealous of her.

He spits (or something) in disdain at the thought and moves to another part of the workshop.

VICTORIA (CONT’D)

Amelia is accomplishing feats of flying that you can only dream of. You think you’re so great, and you got kicked out of the Flying Corps.

TONY

I was 17 for god’s sake.

VICTORIA

And the dream of being the youngest ace of the Great War was washed up – for doing a stunt.

He is deeply hurt by this old wound.

TONY

Don’t!

VICTORIA

What I’m doing isn’t as bad as that.

She walks out angry. He slams his fist into the side of the plane. He’s shattered, deflated. His head sinks down to the greasy engine block.

EXT. COUNTRY ROAD – DAY

Victoria rides her bicycle slowly. The envelope drops in the dirt and she stops, upset, crying.

She leaves it in the road, turns around and starts back the way she came.

She stops, undecided. She watches a hawk soar gracefully through the air. Then she turns around again, picks up the envelope and continues home.

EXT. RANCH HOUSE – DAY

Tony pulls up on his motorcycle. GRAMPS is sitting on the porch.

GRAMPS

Howdy Tony…I don’t think she’ll see you.

TONY

Gramps, I need to tell her something.

GRAMPS

She’s on the 10:05 ya see.

Tony is stunned, jumps on the bike and roars off.

EXT. PALMDALE TRAIN STATION – DAY

Victoria lugs a small suitcase up the steps, comes back for a carpetbag. She looks around one last time, searching, then gets aboard.

EXT PALMDALE TRAIN STATION (HER POV) – DAY

Her last view of home recedes in the distance.

EXT PALMDALE TRAIN STATION – DAY

On the opposite side of the station building, Tony screeches to a stop, sees the train in the distance. He stares at it in pain.

EXT. MONTAGE – TRAIN STATION, DOCKS

Victoria steps off the train in Vancouver and she is awed by her new world. She struggles to keep her wits and luggage. The noise of a train whistle and ship klaxon startle her.

She has to jump out of the way of cargo trams and drops one of her bags. A man stops and helps her.

CU – DRAKE

He’s thin, wiry, sinewy, 50’s with dark eyes and a peculiar, ugly face deformity. He locks on to the sight of Victoria and his eyes narrow. He oozes menace, moves to follow her.

EXT. VANCOUVER DOCKS – DAY

Drake follows Victoria down the dock. She continues on toward the ship at the end. Pausing to get a grip on her bag, she looks behind her and sees Drake staring as he approaches. Fear rises in her, she hurries on, moves through a crowd, detours around a truck and hides in a doorway.

CU – VICTORIA

She flattens against the wall, shuts her eyes, holds her breath. In the distance Drake passes by and is gone.

EXT. RESEARCH SHIP DOCK – DAY

Victoria walks up the gangplank of the research ship “Victory.”

EXT. ALASKA COAST – DAY

The ship plows through the sea, passing ice floes and magnificent glaciers.

EXT SHIP DECK – DAY

Victoria enjoys her first ship voyage and looks in wonder at the icy world of Alaska and breathes it all in.

A man joins her at the rail.

WEATHER MAN

You like this weather?

VICTORIA

Its wonderful. Not at all like home.

WEATHER MAN

First time to Alaska. Well watch it. It’ll kill you. First timers don’t last long.

VICTORIA

Um, yes, thank you. I’ll be careful.

WEATHER MAN

I’m a meteorologist – weather man.

VICTORIA

Oh, that’s nice. Maybe I’ll be working with you.

WEATHER MAN

You’re not a ferry passenger?

VICTORIA

(proudly)

I’m a research assistant.

WEATHER MAN

Hmm. Don’t stay out here too long.

He walks off.

She frowns in annoyance and walks to the other side of the deck. She passes a burly deckhand.

DECKHAND

Cold enough for ye, cherry?

VICTORIA

Yes, thank you.

DECKHAND

What are ye doin’ here, sweetie?

VICTORIA

I’m working here, just like you. What do you do, exactly?

DECKHAND

Oh, sweet lord. One of them searchers? You best stay below. This voyage ain’t no picnic.

VICTORIA

I plan to learn what I need to.

DECKHAND

You plan to learn how to take care a yerself too?

She stiffens, and walks off. He smiles.

EXT/INT. RESEARCH SHIP – DAY

The weather is rough – wind and foaming waves. The ship encounters more ice in the water. Dozens of people line the rail, nervous at the weather. Victoria is unafraid.

MAN

I think its too late in the year. We may get caught.

WOMAN

Don’t say that. We’re close to Point Barrow.

MIDDLE: A violent wind hits the ship, driving ice floes against the hull. The ship sounds its horn in distress, scaring everyone. Victoria goes below to find out what is happening.

Victoria enters the hallway outside the bridge and overhears:

DRAKE (O.S.)

I’m in charge of the crew.

JENSEN (O.S.)

I’m tellin’ ya, until we drop the passengers at Barrow, all hands will be on duty shift.

DRAKE (O.S.)

My men aren’t lifeguards, they’re seamen.

CAMERA MOVES from the hallway into the bridge, revealing the men arguing. Jensen is busy with navigation instruments and Drake is in his face.

JENSEN

The crew is responsible for passenger safety. 80 extras on board, even temporary, means extra work – for us all.

DRAKE

Ahh, bull crap. This ain’t Cunard Lines.

JENSEN

And not one of your tramp steamers either.

CAMERA MOVES back into the hall with Victoria, listening.

DRAKE

Cap’n we’re landing passengers tomorrow. What harm can they get into in sucha short time? This voyage ain’t gonna be easy. I’m tellin’ ya. You gotta save the men for the real work.

JENSEN

I wouldn’t challenge my authority If I were you, Drake.

DRAKE

Oh no, cap’n. You know I’d never do that.

JENSEN (O.S.

Go now. Off the bridge. Its up to you and your men to prevent panic.

I’m sending out a wireless call for the ice-breeaker ship just to be safe.

A SAILOR rushes past Victoria into the bridge

SAILOR

Cap’n there’s ice forming around the screw. We’re close to ice bound.

DRAKE

If you get her stuck, you’ll blow us to the North Pole.

Victoria is shocked, demoralized. As she walks down the hall she passes the radio room.

RADIO MAN

Ship in distress. Barrow station, we are 10 miles offshore. Wind is taking us into the northern current. Ice pack is forming. We can’t maneuver. Requesting the ice breaker at once. Urgent.

[mark Morris]

What I learned doing this assignment is that these key scenes only total out at 6 pages to the end of ACT 1. There are some scenes still missing from the script, but it looks like I can spend more time with dialogue at this point.

Mark’s TURNING POINT 1 SCENES

ACT 1 BEAT SHEET

EXT. RESEARCH SHIP DECK – DAY

PLACEHOLDER; Enjoying her first impression of the arctic world. Two men talk to her and she reveals how inexperienced and vulnerable she is.

EXT. RESEARCH SHIP – DAY

TURNING POINT; The ship she boards sails into a storm and gets locked in the ice. The wind blows them away from land toward the North Pole.

ACT 1 OUTLINE

EXT SHIP DECK – DAY

BEGINNING: She enjoys her first ship voyage and looks in wonder at the icy world of Alaska

MIDDLE: A meteorologist and then a crewman try to chat her up.

END: She is polite and nervous. She asks questions. Each of them in turn tries to give her advice and warn her about the voyage, pegging her as a first-timer.

ACT 1 TURNING POINT

EXT/INT. RESEARCH SHIP – DAY

The weather is rough – wind and foaming waves. The ship encounters more ice in the water. Dozens of people line the rail, nervous at the weather. Victoria is unafraid.

MAN

I think its too late in the year. We may get caught.

WOMAN

Don’t say that. We’re close to Point Barrow.

MIDDLE: A violent wind hits the ship, driving ice floes against the hull. The ship sounds its horn in distress, scaring everyone. Victoria goes below to find out what is happening.

Victoria enters the hallway outside the bridge and overhears:

DRAKE (O.S.)

I’m in charge of the crew.

JENSEN (O.S.)

I’m tellin’ ya, until we drop the passengers at Barrow, all hands will be on duty shift.

DRAKE (O.S.)

My men aren’t lifeguards, they’re seamen.

CAMERA MOVES from the hallway into the bridge, revealing the men arguing. Jensen is busy with navigation instruments and Drake is in his face.

JENSEN

The crew is responsible for passenger safety. 80 extras on board, even temporary, means extra work – for us all.

DRAKE

Ahh, bull crap. This ain’t Cunard Lines.

JENSEN

And not one of your tramp steamers either.

CAMERA MOVES back into the hall with Victoria, listening.

JENSEN (O.S.)(CONT’D)

Go now. Off the bridge. Its up to you and your men to prevent panic.

I’m sending out a wireless distress call. We’re close to ice bound.

DRAKE

If you get her stuck, you’ll blow us to the North Pole.

Victoria is shocked, demoralized. As she walks down the hall she passes the radio room.

RADIO MAN

Ship in distress. Barrow station, we are 10 miles offshore. Wind is taking us into the northern current. Ice pack is forming. We can’t maneuver. Requesting the ice breaker at once. Urgent.

[mark Morris]

What I learned from this assignment is to write the scene in Final Draft format, then copy and paste it into the assignment, and not worry about the formatting. Also, I learned about the importance of the “Reaction to the Call.”

Mark’s Act 1 – Inciting Incident

ACT 1 – BEAT SHEET

EXT. DESERT – DAY

OPENING; Tony is hot-dog flying through the desert with Victoria enjoying it. He proposes marriage, she is ecstatic. They are infatuated with each other completely.

EXT. POST OFFICE – DAY

She receives the notice of the arctic research expedition

INT/EXT. HER HOME – DAY

TE 1: PLACEHOLDER she decides to go on the arctic cruise. Grandfather?

EXT. FRONT PORCH – DAY

INCITING INCIDENT: He forbids her to take the artic voyage. She demands her freedom to go. They part in anger.

EXT. MONTAGE – TRAIN STATION, DOCKS

TE 2: The trip involves trains and ships, and she struggles at the same time she is awed by her new world. She struggles to keep her wits and luggage. Drake follows Victoria on the dock before the ship sails. She is afraid and loses him.

EXT. RESEARCH SHIP DECK – DAY

PLACEHOLDER; Enjoying her first impression of the arctic world

EXT. RESEARCH SHIP – DAY

TURNING POINT; The ship she boards sails into a storm and gets locked in the ice. The wind blows them away from land toward the North Pole.

INT. SHIP – DAY

PLACEHOLDER; Drake, the first mate, tries to test Captain Jensen. Victoria overhears, has Drake on her radar. Argument over the radio call for help.

ACT 1 – OUTLINE

EXT. HIGH DESERT – DAY

BEGINNING: A rabbit is frozen, staring ahead. A 1930’s open cockpit plane roars over a rise and zooms low. The rabbit scampers away from the ROARINS ENGINE.

MIDDLE: Tony is showing off for Victoria, flying low, careening around hills and doing dangerous maneuvers. She is squealing with delight. He is inspired by her reactions. He proposes to her in a steep climb. She screams “Yes!”

END; He roars down the main street of town, turns upside down, yelling in joy.

EXT. SMALL TOWN MAIN STREET – DAY

BEGINNING: Victoria walks through town, and is congratulated by a friendly girl and politely thanks her.

MIDDLE: Victoria meets the mayor who also congratulates her on her engagement. Victoria is embarrassed by the stunt flying.

END: The mayor likes and compliments her in the name of the town.

EXT. POST OFFICE – DAY

BEGINNING: She opens an official-looking manila envelope

MIDDLE: She is happy and excited.

END: She jumps for joy.

INT. TONY’S BARN – DAY

BEGINNING: Tony is working on building a race plane. Victoria enters and shows him the paperwork describing an arctic research voyage.

MIDDLE: He ignores it and tells her not to go. Its a crazy idea. She rebels, warns him not to change her life. She doesn’t try to change him. He thinks she is trying too hard to model herself after Amelia Earhart. She reminds him that Amelia has done things he only dreams about, since he got kicked out of the Flying Corps.

END: She opens an old wound. He is deeply hurt. She leaves.

EXT. COUNTRY ROAD – DAY

BEGINNING: Riding her bicycle, she drops the envelope and stops, upset, crying.

MIDDLE: She leaves it in the road, turns around and starts back the way she came.

END: She stops, undecided. Then she turns around again, picks up the envelope and continues.

ACT 1 – INCITING INCIDENT

INT. TONY’S BARN – DAY

It looks like a hospital for airplanes, with parts strewn all over and a half-built plane in the center.

Victoria enters, excited. She shoves the papers at Tony.

VICTORIA

Isn’t is fabulous. Its a huge ship and it sails through ice. I would be almost a scientist.

He glances at it, then ignores it and changes tools.

Its a crazy idea. Victoria. Its just crazy.

She is startled. Speechless.

TONY

You’re not Amelia Earhart you know.

VICTORIA

I could be. You think I’m just an ordinary girl…helpless.

Tony stops what he is doing.

TONY

No darling. I love you. Its dangerous. I forbid it.

She kisses him on the cheek

VICTORIA

Dangerous! Look who’s talking. Your ex-wife thought you were too dangerous. She tried to stop you from flying. I don’t. Who gave you the right to change who I am?

TONY

You’re trying to be Amelia Earhart. You’re not.

VICTORIA

Amelia is accomplishing feats of flying that you can only dream of. You think you’re so great, and you got kicked out of the Flying Corps.

TONY

I was 17 for god’s sake.

VICTORIA

And the youngest ace of the Great War was washed up for doing a stunt.

He is deeply hurt by this old wound.

VICTORIA (CONT’D)

What I’m doing isn’t that bad.

She walks out angry.

KEY SCENE 3 – EMOTIONAL REACTION TO THE CALL

EXT. COUNTRY ROAD – DAY

Victoria rides her bicycle slowly. The envelope drops in the dirt and she stops, upset, crying.

She leaves it in the road, turns around and starts back the way she came.

She stops, undecided. Then she turns around again, picks up the envelope and continues.

[mark Morris]

What I learned doing this assignment is that dialogue that is motivated and meaningful is easier to come up with after the explorations of the characters in the earlier exercizes.

Mark’s Act1: Opening Scenes

EXT. DESERT – DAY
OPENING SCENE BEAT SHEET
Tony is hot-dog flying through the desert with Victoria enjoying it. He proposes marriage, she is ecstatic. They are infatuated with each other completely.

OPENING SCENE OUTLINE
EXT. HIGH DESERT – DAY
BEGINNING: A rabbit is frozen, staring ahead. A 1930’s open cockpit plane roars over a rise and zooms low. The rabbit scampers away from the ROARINS ENGINE.

MIDDLE: Tony is showing off for Victoria, flying low, careening around hills and doing dangerous maneuvers. She is squealing with delight. He is inspired by her reactions. He proposes to her in a steep climb. She screams “Yes!”

END; He roars down the main street of town, turns upside down, yelling in joy.

CHARACTER INTRODUCTIONS BEAT SHEET
EXT. FRONT PORCH – DAY
INCITING INCIDENT: He forbids her to take the artic voyage. She demands her freedom to go. They part in anger.

CHARACTER INTRODUCTIONS OUTLINE
INT. TONY’S BARN – DAY
BEGINNING: Tony is working on building a race plane. Victoria enters and shows him the paperwork describing an arctic research voyage.

MIDDLE: He ignores it and tells her not to go. Its a crazy idea. She rebels, warns him not to change her life. She doesn’t try to change him. He thinks she is trying too hard to model herself after Amelia Earhart. She reminds him that Amelia has done things he only dreams about, since he got kicked out of the Flying Corps.

END: She opens an old wound. He is deeply hurt. She leaves.

OPENING SCENE
EXT. HIGH DESERT – DAY
A desert rabbit sits alert on a rocky mound. the SILENCE gives way to a mounting DRONE of an engine. The rabbit looks in alarm.

EXT. HIGH SESERT – DAY

a small 1930’s open-cockpit plane comes over the horizon on the deck. its screams past the rabbit, which bolts off. a woman’s scream blends with the engine noise.

EXT. SMALL PLANE -DAY (SERIES OF SHOTS)
Victoria, 25 and Tony, 30’s are in the plane. She is ecstatic as he performs daring maneuvers, showing off for her. She squeals with delight, which inspires him to careen the aircraft over cars on the highway.

VICTORIA
I could do that, if you gave me a chance.

He smiles, puts the craft into a steep, almost vertical climb.

TONY
Could you marry me if you had a chance?

VICTORIA (laughs)

Say please.

EXT. SMALL TOWN MAIN STREET – DAY
He flips the plane upside down and roars down the street at treetop level yelling

TONY
SHE’S GOING TO MARRY ME!

CHARACTER INTRODUCTIONS – INCITING INCIDENT

INT. TONY’S BARN – DAY
It looks like a hospital for airplanes, with parts strewn all over and a half-built plane in the center.
Victoria enters, excited. She shoves the papers at Tony.
VICTORIA
Isn’t is fabulous. Its a huge ship and it sails through ice. I would be almost a scientist.

He glances at it, then ignores it and changes tools.

Its a crazy idea. Victoria. Its just crazy. She is startled. Speechless.
TONY
You’re not Amelia Earhart you know. VICTORIA

I could be. You think I’m just an ordinary girl…helpless. Tony stops what he is doing.
TONY
No darling. I love you. Its dangerous. I forbid it.

She kisses him on the cheek
VICTORIA
Dangerous! Look who’s talking. Your ex-wife thought you were too dangerous. She tried to stop you from flying. I don’t. Who gave you the right to change who I am? TONY
You’re trying to be Amelia Earhart. You’re not.
VICTORIA
Amelia is accomplishing feats of flying that you can only dream of. You think you’re better than she is, and you got kicked out of the Flying Corps.
TONY
I was 17 for god’s sake.
VICTORIA
And the youngest ace of the Great War was washed up for doing a stunt.
He is deeply hurt by this old wound.
VICTORIA (CONT’D)
What I’m doing isn’t that bad.
She walks out angry.

[mark Morris]

MARK’S BEAT SHEET DRAFT 2

What I learned from doing this assignment is how focusing the actions of the antagonist directly or indirectly against the protagonist and her allies, makes for more pointed conflict – instead of simply doing bad things that aren’t directly aimed.

ANTAGONIST BEATS

1. Drake follows Victoria on the dock before the ship sails. She is afraid and loses him.

2. Drake challenges Jensen in the control room. Victoria overhears but doesn’t see who it is.

3. She is shocked to see Drake for the first time when the derelict ship appears. She realizes its the man who followed her.

4. Drake treats a member of the crew with torturous delight.

5. He steals food and hides it away.

6. He spreads rumors about Jensen, angling for control.

7. He avoids working on the runway and spends time in his hiding place, brooding.

8. He tries to lure Victoria away from the group, and when she gets suspicious, he grabs her, carries her to the ice cave, ties her up.

9. He reveals his goal of living there in his “kingdom” alone with her as he carries out his assault. She touches him gently, and he cries in misery.

10. He chases after her and falls into the freezing sea as the ice breaks up.

ACT 1

EXT. DESERT – DAY

OPENING; Tony is hot-dog flying through the desert with Victoria enjoying it. He proposes marriage, she is ecstatic. They are infatuated with each other completely.

EXT. POST OFFICE – DAY

She receives the notice of the arctic research expedition

INT/EXT. HER HOME – DAY

TE 1: PLACEHOLDER she decides to go on the arctic cruise. Grandfather?

EXT. FRONT PORCH – DAY

INCITING INCIDENT: He forbids her to take the artic voyage. She demands her freedom to go. They part in anger.

EXT. MONTAGE – TRAIN STATION, DOCKS

TE 2: The trip involves trains and ships, and she struggles at the same time she is awed by her new world. She struggles to keep her wits and luggage. Drake follows Victoria on the dock before the ship sails. She is afraid and loses him.

EXT. RESEARCH SHIP DECK – DAY

PLACEHOLDER; Enjoying her first impression of the arctic world

EXT. RESEARCH SHIP – DAY

TURNING POINT; The ship she boards sails into a storm and gets locked in the ice. The wind blows them away from land toward the North Pole.

INT. SHIP – DAY

PLACEHOLDER; Drake, the first mate, tries to test Captain Jensen. Victoria overhears, has Drake on her radar. Argument over the radio call for help.

ACT 2

EXT. RESEARCH SHIP – DAY

TE 3: A ship is sighted in the distance, and salvation seems at hand. But it is revealed to be a derelict with frozen corpses on deck.

Drake, laughs ghoulishly, reveals his ugly inner drive, and declares they will never be saved. She is shocked to see Drake for the first time, realizes its the man who followed her. She realizes what an awful danger he is..

INT. ABOARD SHIP – DAY

Victoria reveals her concern about Drake to Jensen. They relate to each other.

EXT. RESEARCH SHIP – DAY

Midpoint Turning Point: The ship is slowly crushed in the ice. They have to evacuate to the ice field.

EXT. RESEARCH SHIP – DAY

TE 4: She decides to put aside her fear and help in the shipwreck. Drake treats a member of the crew with torturous delight, to her horror. They unload all the cargo, food and supplies. They are stranded.

Everyone is frantic at their plight. Drake smiles to himself, looking at Victoria.

EXT. TONY’S PLANE – DAY

Tony flies to Point Barrow, Alaska and starts his search flights, while the Navy stays grounded due to weather.

ACT 3

EXT. ICE FIELD – DAY

Rethink everything: They build crude shelters and tents and create a small town to survive. Drake steals food and hides it away.

INT. TENT – DAY

TE 5: Jensen shakes her admiration of Amelia Earhart to the core. They connect more deeply. Sympathetic feelings. Jensen reveals vulnerability – Captain story.

EXT. ICE CAMP – DAY

New plan: Some men want to trek away to safety. Drake spreads rumors about Jensen, angling for control. Jensen has to put down the uprising that Drake is behind. Victoria gives Jensen the idea to build a runway for plane rescue.

INT/EXT. – MAIN TENT – DAY

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: The wind blows away the radio antenna leaving them out of radio contact.

EXT. – ICE CAMP – NIGHT

TE 6: A polar bear attacks the camp and she braves danger to save lives. A woman and baby are spared.

INT. SHACK – NIGHT

Drake steals food and supplies

EXT. ICE CAMP – DAY

Jensen announces the build of the runway. Astonishment, skepticism.

EXT. RUNWAY – DUSK

The runway is built, then cracks develop as the ice shifts each day.

EXT. RUNWAY – DAWN

TE 7: When men give up, she convinces them to carry on. They dig with frozen hands. Drake avoids working on the runway and spends time in his hiding place, brooding.

INT/EXT. NAVY STATION – DAY

Tony is grounded by the Navy and prevented from flying. He tries to dig his plane out of the ice and collapses in exhaustion.

Act 4:

EXT. NAVY STATION – DAY

Tony is joined by his sidekick Nick, who arrives at the Navy base with ten other fliers to attempt rescue.

EXT. PLANE COCKPIT – DAY

Tony discovers the camp, and the runway. The frantic people prevent him from rescuing Victoria first.

EXT. RUNWAY – DAY

Planes land over the next few days, rescuing many, one and two at a time.

EXT. ICE FIELD – DAY

Drake tries to lure Victoria away from the group, and when she gets suspicious, he grabs her, carries her to the ice cave, ties her up.

INT. NAVY STATION – NIGHT

Tony compares notes with Nick, wondering how many have been rescued. He thinks one of the other planes rescued Victoria.

INT. ICE CAVE – DAY

TE 8: She is physically powerless against Drake. She politely converses with him and it cracks through his psychotic shell. He reveals his goal of living there in his “kingdom” alone with her as he carries out his assault. His love for her is warped. She pities him, touches his face gently, and he breaks down, crying in misery.

EXT. RUNWAY – DAY

Captain Jensen is the last one on the ice. Everyone else has been rescued. Nick arrives on the last flight. The runway is breaking up in the spring thaw.

EXT. RUNWAY – DAY

PLACEHOLDER: A plane gets damaged while landing. Tony?

INT. ICE CAVE – DAY

Victoria struggles in the ice cave as she watches Tony fly off with Jensen.

EXT. ICE FIELD – DAY

Victoria runs out of the cave, pursued by Drake. Jensen spots them. Tony lands the plane. Jensen fights Drake as the ice breaks up. Victoria makes it to the plane, and Jensen yells to take off. Jensen throws Drake down and runs for the plane as Drake slides into the sea on the melting ice.

EXT. NAVY STATION – DAY

Tony thanks Jensen for saving Victoria. Jensen avows it was she who saved him. Victoria avows it was Tony who saved her emotionally and physically.

EXT. SMALL TOWN CHURCH – DAY

Victoria and Tony are reunited, and are married by Jensen.

[mark Morris]

MARK’S HIGH SPEED BEAT SHEET

What I learned from doing this assignment is that there is much more freedom in not getting bogged down with a particular problem i.e. plot point, logic, dialogue, etc just moving forward. And I find that this gradual interweaving process between structure and T events makes it easier to spot the holes in the story.

ACT 1

EXT. DESERT – DAY

OPENING; Tony is hot-dog flying through the desert with Victoria enjoying it. He proposes marriage, she is ecstatic.

EXT. POST OFFICE – DAY

She receives the notice of the arctic research expedition

INT/EXT. HER HOME – DAY

TE 1: PLACEHOLDER she decides to go on the arctic cruise. Grandfather?

EXT. FRONT PORCH – DAY

INCITING INCIDENT: He forbids her to take the artic voyage. She demands her freedom to go. They part in anger.

EXT. MONTAGE – TRAIN STATION, DOCKS

TE 2: The trip involves trains and ships, and she struggles at the same time she is awed by her new world. She struggles to keep her wits and luggage.

EXT. RESEARCH SHIP DECK – DAY

PLACEHOLDER; Enjoying her first impression of the arctic world

EXT. RESEARCH SHIP – DAY

TURNING POINT; The ship she boards sails into a storm and gets locked in the ice. The wind blows them away from land toward the North Pole.

INT. SHIP – DAY

PLACEHOLDER; Drake, the first mate, tries to test Captain Jensen. Victoria overhears, has Drake on her radar. Argument over the radio call for help.

ACT 2

EXT. RESEARCH SHIP – DAY

TE 3: A ship is sighted in the distance, and salvation seems at hand. But it is revealed to be a derelict with frozen corpses on deck.

Drake, laughs ghoulishly, reveals his ugly inner drive, and declares they will never be saved. She understands the danger Drake poses to the group.

INT. ABOARD SHIP – DAY

Victoria reveals her concern about Drake to Jensen.

EXT. RESEARCH SHIP – DAY

Midpoint Turning Point: The ship is slowly crushed in the ice. They have to evacuate to the ice field.

EXT. RESEARCH SHIP – DAY

TE 4: She decides to put aside her fear and help in the shipwreck. They unload all the cargo, food and supplies. They are stranded.

Everyone is frantic at their plight. Drake smiles to himself, looking at Victoria.

EXT. TONY’S PLANE – DAY

Tony flies to Point Barrow, Alaska and starts his search flights, while the Navy stays grounded due to weather.

ACT 3

EXT. ICE FIELD – DAY

Rethink everything: They build crude shelters and tents and create a small town to survive.

INT. TENT – DAY

TE 5: Jensen shakes her admiration of Amelia Earhart to the core. They connect. Sympathetic feelings. Jensen reveals vulnerability – Captain story.

EXT. ICE CAMP – DAY

New plan: Some men want to trek away to safety. Jensen has to control the uprising that Drake is behind. Victoria gives Jensen the idea to build a runway for plane rescue.

INT/EXT. – MAIN TENT – DAY

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: The wind blows away the radio antenna leaving them out of radio contact.

EXT. – ICE CAMP – NIGHT

TE 6: A polar bear attacks the camp and she braves danger to save lives

INT. SHACK – NIGHT

Drake steals food and supplies

EXT. ICE CAMP – DAY

Jensen announces the build of the runway. Astonishment, skepticism.

EXT. RUNWAY – DUSK

The runway is built, then cracks develop as the ice shifts each day.

EXT. RUNWAY – DAWN

TE 7: When men give up, she convinces them to carry on. They dig with frozen hands

INT/EXT. NAVY STATION – DAY

Tony is grounded by the Navy and prevented from flying. He tries to dig his plane out of the ice and collapses in exhaustion.

Act 4:

EXT. NAVY STATION – DAY

Tony is joined by his sidekick Nick, who arrives at the Navy base with ten other fliers to attempt rescue.

EXT. PLANE COCKPIT – DAY

Tony discovers the camp, and the runway. The frantic people prevent him from rescuing Victoria first.

EXT. RUNWAY – DAY

Planes land over the next few days, rescuing many, one and two at a time.

EXT. ICE FIELD – DAY

Drake lures or snatches victoria away to an ice cave he has stocked with food.Drake hides out with Victoria captive in the ice cave.

INT. NAVY STATION – NIGHT

Tony compares notes with Nick, wondering how many have been rescued. He thinks one of the other planes rescued Victoria.

INT. ICE CAVE – DAY

TE 8: She fights with Drake, breaking him down psychologically, and pitying him.

EXT. RUNWAY – DAY

Captain Jensen is the last one on the ice. Everyone else has been rescued. Nick arrives on the last flight. The runway is breaking up in the spring thaw.

EXT. RUNWAY – DAY

PLACEHOLDER: A plane gets damaged while landing. Tony?

INT. ICE CAVE – DAY

Victoria struggles in the ice cave as she watches Tony fly off with Jensen.

EXT. ICE FIELD – DAY

Victoria runs out of the cave, pursued by Drake. Jensen spots them. Tony lands again and she and Jensen make it to the plane as Drake slides into the sea on the melting ice.

EXT. NAVY STATION – DAY

Tony thanks Jensen for saving Victoria. Jensen avows it was she who saved him.

EXT. SMALL TOWN CHURCH – DAY

Victoria and Tony are reunited, and are married by Jensen.

[mark Morris]

Mark’s Transformational events

What I learned from this assignment is how blending the transformational structure with the protagonist’s journey seems to enable little holes in the story to get filled in with meaningful developments that are true to the characters.

Victoria’s Old Ways

Restless. Not content with her life

Feels confined by concept of marriage because of self-doubt.

Indecisive. Lingering regret about her choices

A dreamer who idolizes her hero, Amelia Earhart

Infatuated with Tony

Her New Ways

Decisive and confident in herself

Understands the meaning of true love

Self reliant

Empowered by the sacrifice of a loving man enough to love him in an equal basis

Changes that need to Happen

Victoria needs to:

1.stop relying on her fiance for validation

2.be aware of a bigger, more dangerous world

3. See people for who they are, what drives them, and who is evil

4. believe that she can make a difference to 100 people

5.stop being dependent on Amelia Earhart’s accomplishments

6.become skilled at survival

7.stand up to men

Events to make this change happen

She parts ways with Tony and goes off on her own

Becomes humbled by the scope of her journey to Alaska

Understands the danger Drake poses to the group

Decides to put aside her fear and help in the shipwreck

Jensen shakes her admiration of Amelia Earhart from her, and they connect

A polar bear attacks the camp and she braves danger to save lives

Rallying from despair to build the runway

Fighting with Drake, breaking him down psychologically, and pitying him

The Transformational Structure

Act 1:

Opening: Tony barnstorms through town in his plane with Victoria riding along, thrilled. He proposes and she accepts.

Inciting Incident: She decides to go on the research voyage to the arctic. He argues its too dangerous, and she leaves in anger. She parts ways with Tony and goes off on her own.

The trip involves trains and ships, and she struggles at the same time she is awed by her new world.

Turning Point: The ship she boards sails into a storm and gets locked in the ice. The wind blows them away from land toward the North Pole.

Drake, the first mate, tries to test Captain Jensen.

Act 2:

New plan: She tries to learn the science procedures on board, but has trouble. She is the only woman who does this. The others are merely passengers who become increasingly fearful.

Plan in action: Her looks and politeness provoke a couple of arguments. Men notice her. Women are disturbed by her. Captain Jensen has to intervene and befriends her.

A ship is sighted in the distance, and salvation seems at hand. But it is revealed to be a derelict with frozen corpses on deck.

Drake, laughs ghoulishly, reveals his ugly inner drive, and declares they will never be saved. She understands the danger Drake poses to the group

Midpoint Turning Point: The ship is slowly crushed in the ice. They have to evacuate to the ice field. She decides to put aside her fear and help in the shipwreck. They unload all the cargo, food and supplies. They are stranded.

Everyone is frantic at their plight. Drake smiles to himself, looking at Victoria.

Tony flies to Point Barrow, Alaska and starts his search flights, while the Navy stays grounded due to weather.

Act 3:

Rethink everything: They build crude shelters and tents and create a small town to survive. Jensen shakes her admiration of Amelia Earhart from her, and they connect.

New plan: Some men want to trek away to safety. Jensen has to control the uprising that Drake is behind. Victoria gives Jensen the idea to build a runway for plane rescue.

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: The wind blows away the radio antenna leaving them out of radio contact. A polar bear attacks the camp and she braves danger to save lives

The runway is built, then cracks develop as the ice shifts each day. When men give up, she convinces them to carry on.

Tony is grounded by the Navy and prevented from flying. He tries to dig his plane out of the ice and collapses in exhaustion.

Act 4:

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict:

Tony is joined by his sidekick Nick, who arrives at the Navy base with ten other fliers to attempt rescue.

Tony discovers the camp, and the runway. The frantic people prevent him from rescuing Victoria first.

Planes land over the next few days, rescuing many. Drake hides out with Victoria captive in an ice cave, and Tony thinks one of the other planes rescued her. She fights with Drake, breaking him down psychologically, and pitying him.

Resolution: Captain Jensen is the last one on the ice. Everyone else has been rescued.

Victoria struggles in the ice cave as she watches Tony fly away.

Victoria runs out of the cave, pursued by Drake. Jensen spots them. Tony lands again and she and Jensen make it to the plane as Drake slides into the sea on the melting ice.

Victoria and Tony are reunited, and are married by Jensen.

[mark Morris]

What I learned from this lesson is that I will have to adjust my plot to fit in the 4 act structure, and to rebalance my character arc with the plot as well.

Mark’s 4 Act Transformational Structure. 1. Give us the following:

Concept – A woman’s yearning for adventure turns disastrous when she is stranded on arctic ice floes with 100 shipwrecked people drifting toward the North Pole. Her pilot fiance, attempting a virtually hopeless rescue, fights nature’s extremes and Navy animosity to save her.

• •

• • • • • • • • • •

Main Conflict- Victoria struggles against the cold, the panic of the men

trapped with her, and whether or not her fiance will be able to rescue her.

Old Ways –
small town girl, no confidence on the ship

Indecisive
stand-offish to others out of fear

New Ways
Decisive and confident

outgoing and sympathetic to others able to judge people on an equal basis

2. Fill in each of these with the answers you have right now.

Act 1:
Opening: Tony barnstorms through town in his plane with Victoria riding along,

thrilled. He proposes and she accepts.

Inciting Incident: She decides to go on the research voyage to the arctic. He argues its too dangerous, and she leaves in anger.

Turning Point: The ship she boards sails into a storm and gets locked in the ice. The wind blows them away from land toward the North Pole.

Drake, the first mate, tries to test Captain Jensen.

Act 2:

New plan: She tries to learn the science procedures on board, but has trouble. She is the only woman who does this. The others are merely passengers who become increasingly fearful.

Plan in action: Her looks and politeness provoke a couple of arguments. Men notice her. Women are disturbed by her. Captain Jensen has to intervene and befriends her.

A ship is sighted in the distance, and salvation seems at hand. But it is revealed to be a derelict with frozen corpses on deck.

Drake, laughs ghoulishly, reveals his ugly inner drive,and declares they will never be saved.

Midpoint Turning Point: The ship is slowly crushed in the ice. They have to evacuate to the ice field. they unload all the cargo, food and supplies. They are stranded.

Everyone is frantic at their plight. Drake smiles to himself, looking at Victoria.

Tony flies to Point Barrow, Alaska and starts searching flights, while the Navy stays grounded due to weather.

Act 3:

Rethink everything: They build crude shelters and tents and create a small town to survive.

New plan: Some men want to trek away to safety. Jensen has to control the uprising that Drake is behind. Victoria gives Jensen the idea to build a runway for plane rescue.

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: The wind blows away the radio antenna leaving them out of radio contact.

The runway is built, then cracks develop as the ice shifts each day.

Tony is grounded by the Navy and prevented from flying. He tries to dig his plane out of the ice and collapses in exhaustion.

Act 4:

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict:

Tony is joined by his sidekick Nick, who arrives at the Navy base with ten other fliers to attempt rescue.

Tony discovers the camp, and the runway. The frantic people prevent him from rescuing Victoria first.

Planes land over the next few days, rescuing many. Drake hides out with Victoria captive in an ice cave, and Tony thinks one of the other planes rescued her.

Resolution: Captain Jensen is the last one on the ice. Everyone else has been rescued.

Victoria struggles in the ice cave as she watches Tony fly away.

Victoria runs out of the cave, pursued by Drake. Jensen spots them. Tony lands again and she and Jensen make it to the plane as Drake slides into the sea on the melting ice.

Victoria and Tony are reunited, and are married by Jensen.

[mark Morris]

Mark’s Character Interviews

What I learned doing this assignment is…there is a more rounded, full version of the character emerging. People reveal important things about themselves in what they say, even if they don’t answer the question directly.

1. Victoria (protagonist): I’m just a girl from the desert country in California. My parents took us on drives into the desert, sightseeing, we’d have lunch and spend a pleasant day. Sunday drives lots of times. But I haven’t traveled. I’d like to see far away places.

2. I was called to this journey because I know I can do it. If Amelia Earhart can do all those great things, I want a chance to prove myself too. And I really want to see other countries.

3. This is difficult because men usually think small town girls are pushovers, you know, they think we’re dumb or just want to be taken care of.

4. Sure, this is going to change me. But that’s what new experiences are all about. That’s what I want. I just hope I can survive this cold and misery. That’s the hardest thing…and these…men. I don’t know them, and I don’t know what they’ll do when things get worse.

5. The most difficult thing to let go of will be my home and the fun times i’ve enjoyed with my girl friends.

6. What’s held me back? You wouldn’t believe how much boredom can hold you back from changing your life. And, I didn’t know how to get out. Where do you start? This arctic trip is the answer. I knew it the minute I heard about it.

7. Nothing, no skills. But I know I can do it…like Amelia.

8. If I let anyone know how scared I am, it will just make things worse. I don’t have time to think about it, so I help some of the women and keep their spirits up, so I don’t think about it.

9. God. I only think of Tony. I imagine him coming over the horizon in his plane and taking me out of this horrid situation.

10. Poor Captain Jensen. What an awful job he has, to try and keep these people sane and safe. I really want to help him, because that ugly man is supposed to be helping. That’s his job. But he seems to be causing more trouble. I don’t trust him a bit. He’s sort of nice to me, but still…

11. If I get out of this alive…god willing…I may never take another trip. If I don’t die, and Tony doesn’t die…I’m gonna marry him for sure.

12. My family? Only my dad. I hope he isn’t worrying too much.

[mark Morris]

Mark’s Character Profile – Part 2

What I Learned On this Assignment!
The characters are growing! I am getting to know who they are, more.

VICTORIA KATE BRENNAN

What draws us to this character

Vivacious and fun-loving, she is thrust into a life-or-death situation. Unprepared, she has to stand up to tough sailors in a stressful situation.

Traits: impetuous, vulnerable, risk-taker, determined
Subtext: Uses kindness and helpfulness to others to hide her fear. Uses politeness

as a defense against men who are abrasive. Flaw: Her beauty
Values: Independence, self-reliance, loyalty

Irony: Her quest for adventure has landed her in the worst situation imaginable. She is the least experienced in the Arctic, and she provides the key to their rescue. She is the one most threatened by the first mate, and the only one able to humble him.

What makes her the right character for the role: She’s in love with a flyer. Her idol is a female flyer, and its her belief in the power of flight that is the key to rescue.

DRAKE, THE FIRST MATE

What draws us to this character

A man so hardened by life at sea and alienated by people who are repulsed by him must be pitied,..like the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

Traits: Underhanded, deceitful, conniving, clever

Subtext: Even though he follows orders, his deeper goal is to undermine Captain Jensen and take over command. His own self-preservation overrides everything else.

Flaw: Total disregard of human worth. Values: Self-preservation, Law of the sea

Irony: He is the most frantic of all in his efforts to survive, yet he is the only one to perish.

What makes him the right character for the role? Shunned by people and hating them, he has spent a life isolated on the sea. His deformity spurs his dream of taking command and having absolute power.

TONY CAMERON

What draws us to this character

Fearless bravery, dogged determination and dedicated love. He is a flawless pilot who inspires confidence and is admired by his fraternity of flyers.

Traits: Honest, trustworthy, reserved, tenacious
Subtext: His tendency to understatement reflects a calm confidence. It also hides

his contempt for bureaucratic red tape.

Flaw: Making up his own rules.

Values: Friendship, skill, the sky, flying, achievement

Irony: It was a flying stunt that caused his biggest disappointment in life…and the biggest flying stunt of his life that brings him the glory he always sought.

What makes him the right character for this role

His expert flying skills, his penchant for bending the rules and his driving love of a woman are the only combination able to rescue the stranded people from death.

CAPTAIN JENSEN

What draws us to this character

A strong authority figure. His calm presence is the perfect use of his command. People respond out of respect and admiration. To women he’s a father figure. To men he’s a role model.

Traits: Confident, precise, unflappable, stern, slow to anger
Subtext: His knowledge of the Arctic, while comforting, hides his fear of the power

of ice…and its ability to kill them all. Under it all…a growing love for Victoria. Flaw: Not recognizing when men are at the end of their rope.
Values: Discipline, obedience, loyalty,

Irony: He is the strongest of the group, yet its a woman who gives him strength when he loses his own.

[mark Morris]

I’m Mark Morris. I have written 5 feature scripts, co-written 2 others as well as 2 horror- Si Fi TV pilots

My day job is cinematogapher/editor. I hope to use this class to complete a screenplay of a true story adaptation that I wrote in outline form 30 years ago.

I got into this business after I discovered a trunk full of scripts in my grandparents attic. I found out that my grandad was a writer and technical advisor at Fox during the 30’s and worked on Shirley Temple and Sherlock Holmes movies, among others.

[mark Morris]

Mark’s Character Profiles – Part 1

WHAT I LEARNED from this assignment is how helpful the examples are in creating the characters. Descriptions of types of Antagonist/Protagonist/Genre help to focus on characteristics. Its like someone asking you, “Which music artist do you like?” There’s so many. Hard to choose! But when you are given categories its much easier to focus in on a choice. The nine aspects of character profiles are great for shaping a character in my mind.

PROTAGONIST: FIGHTER

VICTORIA is impulsive by nature. Her impatience in decision-making is born from her strong-willed character. She is a fighter, and her grit and determination are what enables her to focus on the overwhelming task of survival in a shipwreck in the arctic. She becomes a guardian for those who panic.

ANTAGONIST: PREDATOR

DRAKE, the ship’s first mate is an ugly, tough-as-nails, seaman who is hardened by years of the elements and loneliness at sea. His deformed face and perverted disposition alienate him from others. He becomes a force for anarchy, even attempting mutiny. But its Victoria that burns in his innermost thoughts.

SUPPORTING CHARACTERS

CAPTAIN JENSEN is a bearded bear of a man who commands respect and admiration. He has never lost a ship until now, and is driven to save all those under his care. An honorable man who is crushed under the overwhelming task of leading and caring for 100 people. When things look hopeless, he gets hope from Victoria.

TONY CAMERON, A handsome, likeable pilot, in love with Victoria. He grew up taking apart and building small planes in his backyard while his friends worked on cars. His love of flying has made him the best pilot there is. Now this love is put to the ultimate test in trying to save Victoria from freezing to death.

NICK, Tony’s childhood friend and sidekick, also a pilot. Content to be in his shadow. Nick ha always been in support and this life-or-death situation is no different. Nick rises to the challenge as always, by assembling a squadron of small planes to assist Tony in the impossible rescue.

MINOR ROLES

Navy post commander who puts up roadblocks to Tony’s unofficial search and rescue flights.

Two Navy pilots who sit by, following orders, and watch Tony’s gutsy search efforts, until they finally join him in searching for the shipwreck.

Reporters who follow the story and wake up the world to the tragedy unfolding, when the story appears on the front page of the NY Times.

GENRE

An action/Thriller

A woman’s yearning for adventure turns disastrous when she is stranded on arctic ice floes with 100 shipwrecked people drifting toward the North Pole. Her pilot fiance, attempting a virtually hopeless rescue, fights nature’s extremes and Navy animosity to save her.

CHARACTER PROFILES – PART 1

VICTORIA

Role in
the story: Small town girl yearning for adventure
as a way to empower herself in a man’s world.

Age range
and Description: Female,
late 20s, beautiful, kind-hearted

Internal
Journey: From struggling for self-reliance and
independence to having the strength to influence and command men.

External
Journey: From a pampered woman to a respected,
admired leader, equal to the men around her, and able to relate to her man
as an equal.

Motivation:
To be self-reliant

Wound: Small-town boredom

Mission/Agenda:
To survive until Tony can rescue
her

Secret: Amelia Earhart

What makes
them special? Her sympathetic ability to console and
encourage people to struggle on.

DRAKE

Role in
the story: First mate
with a disfigured face. His hatred
of people drives his urge to anarchy in camp.

Age range
and Description: Male, late
40s, thin, wiry, sinewy. Dark eyes,

Internal
Journey: From anti-social to a lust for
Victoria, and finally to desperation for companionship

External
Journey: From a disciplined crewman to a
crazed, psychopath

Motivation:
To take power from the captain

Wound: Shunned by people on land

Mission/Agenda:
to take
command and possess Victoria

Secret: His mother

What makes
them special? His underhanded, sly manipulation of
trusting people

TONY CAMERON

Role in
the story: Barnstormer
pilot, determined to rescue his fiance

Age range
and Description: Male,
30s. Dashing and daring

Internal
Journey: From a reckless, cocksure
showoff to a pilot with an unswerving dedication to a mission

External
Journey: small town pilot to world-wide
hero

Motivation:
His two loves

Wound: Being kicked out of the Air Corps at 17
due to a stunt.

Mission/Agenda: Rescue Victoria from the Arctic ice

Secret: His failure to achieve glory in WWI as
the youngest ace.

What makes
them special? His
brilliance in building and flying small planes.

CAPTAIN JENSEN

Role in
the story: Ship
captain. Leader of 100 shipwrecked
people, determined to motivate people to survive.

Age range
and Description: Male,
50ish. Large, muscular and bearded.

Internal
Journey: From a supremely confident
captain in command, to being dependent on a woman for strength.

External
Journey: From a ship captain to becoming
the last to leave the ice.

Motivation:
His ingrained sense of duty and
honor

Wound: None

Mission/Agenda:
To not lose any passengers or
crew

Secret: Falling in love with Victoria

What makes
them special? His ability to elicit admiration from
others due to his honorable and trustworthy actions under duress.

[mark Morris]

Mark’s Transformational journey

What I learned doing this assignment is that thinking through the qualities of character – before and after the journey – will be great to use as a reference during the writing. This first basic step will be valuable to come back to and remember when I forget – and to tweak if necessary.

I had created these characters years ago for a treatment, but only as regards certain aspects of character. It took some real hard thinking to fill in the blanks enough to chart a course to their transformational journey.

2. Who is your Hero and what is their Character Arc that represents a transformation?

My Hero is Victoria Kate Brennan, a strong-willed, impulsive young woman who yearns for adventure. In 1934 women have little power in a man’s world. She doesn’t like her status quo.

Internal Journey: From
struggling for self-reliance and independence to having the strength to influence
and command men.

External Journey: From a
pampered woman to a respected, admired leader, equal to the men around
her, and able to relate to her man as an equal.

3. What are the Old Ways and New Ways?

Kate starts out living the small town life, and the biggest thing in her life is her thrilling boyfriend, Tony. She thinks validation of her life comes from her relationship with him.

Her Old Ways

Restless. Not content with her life

Feels confined by concept of marriage because of self-doubt.

Indecisive. Lingering regret about her choices

A dreamer who idolizes her hero, Amelia Earhart

Infatuated with Tony

Her New Ways

She ends up as an inspiring figure to the survivors of an incredible ordeal, and to people around the world.

Decisive and confident in herself.

Understands the meaning of true love

Self-reliant

Empowered by the sacrifice of a loving man enough to love him on an equal basis.

[mark Morris]

Karen,

That is unquestionably the quintessential marketing campaign! I am humbled by it.

[mark Morris]

Yes, Jeff I plan to do some calls once I identify some likely prodcos and producers. So far though, many of the producers who are linked to Sci-fi TV series like mine don’t have contact info listed, or its just the agent or manager or legal that’s listed.

Maybe they’re too high on the food chain and I have to get down to smaller producers who give out contact info. Still working on it. If I see a prod co phone number I’ll try the phone pitch – it’ll be a simple read of what I have written down (I guess til they throw me a curve ball and get off the script!)

[mark Morris]

Hi Gordon,

Your feedback is encouraging. You want to know more about the script! A good sign.

Because this is a TV series, there is ample time to reveal the science as episodes advance. The scientists’ electrical signatures have been imprinted (remembered) by the earth’s electrical field which has been disrupted by the weapons tests. The planet’s electrical field is out of balance — and their deaths are the only way to bring it back into balance.

The stakes are raised higher when Holden learns that its not just his own life at stake. Every trace of his DNA is to be wiped out as well. BY THE GODS…that’s unfair!

[mark Morris]

That’s a great idea, Liz. Since we all know each others’ projects we have a vested interest in how things go from here. Let’s share whatever success we get with script requests, reactions etc.

[mark Morris]

You touch on a very compelling point – “to them, men without a country, The Legion was their country.” That’s great material for motivations among the men. Some are French, like the protagonist who is risking his life for a deep love of “La Marseillaise” but others who have no country are inspired by an even stronger, more personal drive – the brotherhood of the Legion.

Run with it. Make us love these guys – like Butch and Sundance!

[mark Morris]

Thanks Deb, I agree with your suggestions and will incorporate,

[mark Morris]

I like your story! Its tightly written and flows well.

I would change one word of your character description – not crazed but “desperate.” he becomes more sympathetic.

I assume Valenti, a producer had something to do with the failure of their film, so that’s why they abduct him – for revenge. I think it would make more sense to make him a distributor. Then its easy to see that he is the culprit, who provided no net returns to them.

And then the title falls into place – “Filmmaker Revenge.”

Overall your letter is really good.

[mark Morris]

You have changed and focused much in this draft. In several reads, ideas came to me – starting with the title. No one will respond to Camerone, unless it were a symbol of heroism or defeat like Navarone or Tobruk or El Alamein. Instead, titles that can suggest the enormity of the battle come to mind, like “THE SIX” or “THE LEGION” or “Death Before Defeat.”

One thing you have lost in this draft is the link to your central character. The bookend device you had with the hero being asked “jail or serve in the legion” is a great entre to the bloody business, and it resonates with irony again at the end after what he has been through.

I think you can condense A thru H paragraphs into something more like, “A criminal escapes jail by serving in the Foreign Legion, only to become part of a small advance guard whose mission holds the fate of the entire French army in their hands. When they are besieged by Mexican forces that outnumber them 65 to one, they realize that their real strength is a limitless patriotism to the country that sentenced them here.

Weave the emotional thread into your synopsis along with the big battle picture.

Paragraph (i) could elaborate: “They now realize their situation is hopeless. But they continue to resist.” WHY?

[mark Morris]

I think its a good idea to mention Kennedy/Marshall and Imagine in just the way you do. It suggests there is a quality level to the story. And you suggest that it was “an early version of the script” leaving unsaid that its better now.

[mark Morris]

Hi Gordon,

Your query letter looks and acts like a Pitch Fest Pitch instead of a query letter. Could you have done what I have almost done a couple of times with these lessons and used a document written for another purpose? Your credits are impressive, and would have more impact at the end of the letter. I say that because if you have gotten their interest with your hook and synopsis, then an extra helping of pro credits will validate their interest in the story – knowing that it comes from a pro.

This version of your synopsis is too long, with details in act three that could be condensed.

The main character is Pierre Trudel, so I am confused by “In the last act the new Jean Marchand.” Perhaps better to say something like, “our hero” or “the indestructible soldier.”

I love true stories of history, and this one sounds like an awesome tale. Good luck with it.

[mark Morris]

Hi Phyllis,

I wish I could see your “high concept” hook right at the top. It seems buried near the end of the first paragraph. I suggest moving the info about the proof-of-concept film and the desired actors to the end of the letter, to be mentioned along with the pitch deck.

Delete the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs, since those are follow-up details which are better mentioned after the script is read. Remember, the goal is get the script requested.

Lastly, maybe you could reverse the content of the “Would you be interested in…” sentence. Lead with the script, and follow with…”and there is also a pitch deck and proof-of-concept…(or sizzle reel, or trailer)

[mark Morris]

Stephen,

RE: I’ll talk about the protagonist and antagonist, emphasizing my
ACTOR-BAIT characters and I’ll tell him why the roles will be highly
coveted.

What if your ideas and theirs are different? Could work against you. Isn’t it more the producers wheelhouse to know how the roles will fit and appeal to actors?