Mary Lynn
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Mary Lynn Mabray
Module 5 Lesson 1 – 2 – Basic Formatting
Vision: Writing Assignments and selling original scripts
What did I Learn? – I really like Hal’s approach to teaching screenwriting much better than any other program I have ever taken.
First Scene:
EXT. CHANNEL 13 STUDIO – HOUSTON – DAY – ESTABLISHING
Christmas wonderland. Decorations everywhere. PEOPLE hurry inside the studio while others file in and out. Festive environment.
INT. SOUNDSTAGE 3 – DAY
Gorgeous Christmas decorations on set. Cozy. Christmas cookies piled up on cabinet counters on silver plates along with stacks of Helen Hunt cookbooks. Cooking show in progress.
HELEN HUNT, smiles broadly and waves, blows kisses at the camera.
HELEN
Have the best Christmas ever, folks
and as always, I couldn’t do this show without
you.
Helen grabs a cookbook, holds it up and shows to the television viewers. Photo of a beautiful Helen kissing a handsome Santa Claus on the cheek underneath the mistletoe, splashed across the cover.
HELEN
And don’t forget to buy my newest cookbook,
Cooking with Santa Claus! It’s my best Christmas
cookie book, yet. I hope you love it as much as I
HELEN (cont.)
writing it. I have it on the best authority that it is
already a North Pole favorite.
HELEN (winks)
Thank you, Mrs. Claus, and thank you, viewers.
I couldn’t do this show without you.
Thank you, Mrs.
Claus.
The DIRECTOR wraps the show.
DIRECTOR
Cut! That’s a wrap. Great show, Helen.
Loved it!
Helen sighs wearily.
HELEN
You sure? I felt a little off. Was I?
Before the Director can answer, the entire crew YELLS, almost as if rehearsed.
CREW
NO!
HELEN
Well, alrighty then. I’m too tired to argue.
HELEN
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and may Santa
slide down your chimney with goodies.
Two children. ALEXANN, 5 and WILL, 7 rush the set loaded down with presents. Helen’s grandchildren pass out Christmas gifts.
MALE CREW MEMBER
Helen, I don’t have a chimney.
Helen knows he’s kidding.
HELEN
What will I do without you guys for two weeks?
ALEXANN
Swim with me. You promised.
WILL
Parasail with me. You promised, Mimi.
DIRECTOR
Sounds like you have your beach orders.
Helen nods enthusiastically, hurries off the stage toward the children.
HELEN
A promise is a promise. Let’s hit the beach.
What do you say?
Helens wraps Alexann and Will in her arms and squeezes then tightly.
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Cheryl, where do we post our scene? My printout says, WIM Lesson 1 … but no module. Would you please get back to me?
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Cheryl-I finally got everything to work. Not sure this the the right place for the beat sheet but here it is. Yay me. I will get to work on the exchange material. 😊
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Mary Lynn Mabray Module 4 Lesson 3 Beat Sheet – Draft 1
Vision: Write in demand high concept scripts/writing assignments
What I Learned: The elements of a beat sheet
The Second Mrs. Claus
Act 1
1). Helen Hunt wraps up production of her Christmas dessert cooking show. Signs off with her tagline … “Remember, all you have to do is believe”. She is glad to have a break. Tells everyone on set to have a Merry Christmas. She is off to a much needed Caribbean holiday.
Deeper Layer: Helen isn’t sure she will; but tells daughter Muffy they will have fun. Helen dreads the explosion.
2). Stuart McCall cell glued to his ear. Yelling into the phone. People tip toe past his office.
Deeper Layer: He’s made a deal. We don’t know what kind.
He has to be drug out of his office by his children – Alexann and Will to the waiting limo. Helen and Muffy already in limo. Clear it is a family trip. Stuart doesn’t have time for this trip.
Deeper layer – Muffy doesn’t like the way Stuart is staring at Helen. She knows he is up to something.
3) Helen has not told Stuart or the family she is retiring from television to focus on her own life, for a change. Being a widow isn’t fun.
4) North Pole
Ralph fiddles with heating system. Something is wrong. The HV system rattles and spews dust. The dust glistens. Wilbur sits glued to the latest Christmas cookie cooking show. It’s Helen’s show. In hand her latest dessert cookbook just came in by snail mail for Mrs. Claus.
Ralph races to talk to Wilbur in the toy factory. Glistening dust is everywhere. Ralph and Wilbur bump into each other. Wilbur sees all the glistening dust. Ralph tells him there’s a big problem.
5)A plump Mrs. Claus happily bakes and sings a Christmas song. She is a little too cheery. Smile plastered on her face.
6) Rudolph rolls in and can’t see anything there is so much glistening dust in the air. He immediately begins to levitate and fly around the room and Bang…right into Mrs. Claus.
7) Ralph and Wilbur race into the kitchen and immediately fly into air.
8) Santa Claus checks his watch. Cookie time. Next thing he knows, he is floating in air outside the toy factory. He sees Mrs. Claus doing amazing gymnastics flips. Everything is floating, elves, toys, reindeer. Cookies… Boom! Everyone hits the ground. Santa calls for Mrs. Claus. Her head rolls right into his hands. Another loud Boom!
Inciting Incident 1)
9) Santa is in his bed. Covers over his head. He refuses to come out. Ralph and Wilbur do their best…they look a bit disheveled. Together they yank off the blankets. Santa tries to cover his hotter than hot body! He’s a hunk of burning love…Says he is so…ugly…Children will never trust….Ralph and Wilbur agree. Oh, yeah…he looks really bad…Like Rip Wheeler bad. Only one thing to cure his depression. Road trip!
Inciting Incident 2)
10) Helen, children, muffy and Stuart hit the beach. Something streaks through the air and plunges into the ocean.
11) glub, glub…Nick can’t swim. Wilbur, Ralph reindeer…swim for the shore.
12) Helen sees a man flailing in the water. She hopes on a jet ski and rescues Nick. Gives him Mouth to mouth…Nick comes around…sees Helen’s gorgeous face and wants more…a lot more. Before Helen knows it, she and Nick are enthralled right in front of a shocked crowd.
13) Helen is a nervous wreck…changes clothes five times. Muffy comes in with a stunning sundress…Helen puts it on. She is totally transformed into one hot babe.
14) Nick picks Helen up for dinner. He is so in love. They dance the night away. Mambo, Tango, Rumba, Cha-Cha, finally a lovey waltz.
15) Nick walks Helen to the front door. She suddenly grabs him and really lays one on him. It’s a match made in heaven. Ralph and Wilbur have been spying in the bushes. They high five. Helen asks about Nick’s plans for the future. He is a bit vague; but tells her he hopes she will be in his plans.
16) Stuart signs Helen up to teach a Christmas cookie class at the resort, without her permission. Tickets sell like wildfire.
Act Two
1). Helen and Nick spend an inordinate amount of time, together. Muffy asks what is going on between them. Stuart says she has to stop this romance. She’s in all the tabloids. She’s ruining her All American woman image running around with a man young enough to be her son. Sparkles of magic dust float in the air around Nick.
2) The kids think it the romance between Nick and Helen is cool. Will remarks on the big dog with the red nose..reminds him of Rudolph. He is always around Nick and who are those two short guys? Alexann says Nick has rosy cheeks and asks Will where they have seen that before?
3) Helen discovers that Stuart has signed her up to teach a cookie class. She is livid.
Muffy sees glistening dust in the air…when Helen walks. Under the mistletoe, the dust increases. Stuart remarks that it must be special effects of some kind. Afterall they are not living in a Disney movie.
Helen gets into it with Stuart over the class. How could he? Is money the only thing he thinks about. Muffy and Helen leave together. Muffy tells Stuart his priorities are in the wrong place and he better get his act together or else. Muffy stalks out. Stuart is oblivious. Will and Alexann want to know what Muffy meant. Divorce?
4) Helen gives in and teaches the class. There are several older men in the class who flirt with Helen. Helen breaks off the date with Nick. He is devastated. Ralph and Wilbur try to find out what changed. They see Helen with the older man. In the BG, a photographer takes photos. Helen and the older man go to dinner. Helen goes through the motions but there is no spark.
5) Next day, Nick, Wilbur, Ralph and Rudolph are in the class. Helen begins to see magic dust float around Nick. When it touches him, he immediately ages, every so slightly. Helen thinks she is seeing things.
6). She sees Ralph and Wilbur nudge Nick and finally he asks about her cookies. Will she share the recipe? What is the secret to that zing in the cookies. Helen doesn’t divulge a bit of info. Now, she is somewhat suspicious. Stuart pulls her aside and lies to Helen that he has discovered Nick is a competitor’s apprentice.
7) Helen is surprised to see the older gentleman, Alfred Peabody at dinner. Stuart and Alfred are in deep conversation about something but when Alfred sees Helen, he immediately abandons Stuart. Nick arrives. He is surprised to see Alfred, especially with his arm around Helen. Will and Alexann don’t like what they see. Neither does Muffy. She gives Stuart a piece of her mind.
8) Dinner with family. Alfred and Nick compete for a chair next to Helen. Nick loses. Helen asks Nick how he likes working for Jaime Cooksalot. Nick has no idea what she is talking about. Alfred mentions he published a dessert cookbook of Jaime Cooksalot last year. The jig is up. Helen asks Stuart why he would enter a publishing contract without her approval. Alfred Peabody is astounded that Helen does not know. Everyone else wants to know, too. Stuart tries to explain. Helen grabs Nick’s hand and they leave. Peabody tells Stuart he will sue him for breach of contract.
9) Helen and Nick walk hand in hand on the beach. Nick confesses his love for Helen. All of Helen’s fears leave. Nick asks Helen if she likes cold weather. Not really. She couldn’t be happier until she spots the big dog and Ralph and Wilbur in the foliage. She demands an answer, and for the first time, Nick tries to tell her he is Santa Claus. Helen doesn’t believe him and leaves.
10) From another vantage point, Alexann and Will watch and run down to the beach to talk to Nick and beg him to stay. Rudolph agrees. Suddenly, Rudolph’s antlers appear and his red nose blinks. Alexann
and Will realize Nick really is Santa Claus. They suspected it all along. They are ecstatic. They want to tell Helen who they call Mimi. Nick say no way. He has to earn her trust and make her believe, again.
11) Nick arrives late to Helen’s Christmas cookie class. Are Nick and Helen imagining things or are there bits of glittering dust around them both. No one else in the class has or can see the particles. Helen tries to shoo hers away and they go straight to Nick.
Will and Alexann can see the magic dust. They try to tell Helen that Nick is who he says he is..she says you can’t believe everything you think you see. They are upset because she has always taught them to believe in things you can and cannot see.
12 Nick decides to go all in and calls Stuart to ask for his help. Nick and Stuart meet in the jungle. Stuart wants to know what meaning of this meeting is.
13) Nick introduces him to Prancer, Dancer, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen. Stuart says he has better things to do than to meet with a lunatic and nine crazy dogs and two short fat guys in the middle of a jungle and turns to leave. Rudolph stands in his way. Turns on his red nose, lets his antlers show. Stuart turns around and all eight big dogs turn into reindeer. Stuart’s mouth falls open. Nick says…I tried to tell you. We need your help. Stuart says, “ I thought you were married”… About that.
14). Nick, Stuart, Ralph and Wilbur, parlay. Everyone talks at the same time about the explosion and the demise of Mrs. Claus. Stuart’s head is exploding, and he is counting the money and talking about filming from the North Pole.
15) Where’s the sleigh…it appears but it so low on magic dust that it sputters and spins to ground.
15. Blitzen says they are hungry and need magic dust. Helen can bake the cookies because she has magic dust all around her. Stuart says that is because she loves what she does. It dawns on Nick that it is love that creates the magic dust.
16) Stuart feels awful that he has turned Helen against Nick and most of all his children.
17) Alexann and Will pop up from hiding in the sleigh. Tell Stuart they always believed whether he did or not.
18) Nick says he has less than a week to convince Helen that he really loves her, return to his old self…Ralph and Wilbur think he looks pretty hot and should stay the way he is. Alexann and will ask who is going save Christmas?
Act Three
1) Helen will not even speak to Nick and less so now that Stuart is involved. Nick is heartbroken. Alexann and Will are, too.
2) Stuart parlays with Muffy. Tells her Nick really is Santa Claus. Muffy is astounded but mostly because she and Stuart are now on the same page. She says, she knows how to convince Helen. Stuart is all ears.
3) Everything is set for the next cooking lesson only there are no guests just the family, the nine big dogs, the sleigh in the bg., Ralph and Wilbur in their elf outfits feeding cookies to the dogs and putting cookies in the fuel tank of the sleigh.
4) Helen is not happy. Tells Stuart she is retiring and that she is tired. Stuart doesn’t argue. Just asks for her patience. Fine. Nick shows up. Helen says she is leaving.
4) The sleigh levitates, and the dogs turn into reindeer. Helen is astounded. Turns to Nick…he shrugs, and she runs to him.
Resolution:
1) There’s a film crew, Stuart directing. The back drop looks like the North Pole kitchen and snow…Nick and Helen welcome everyone to the North Pole and asks if they are ready for Christmas. Nick looks Helen’s age and is still hot…Nick and Helen kiss and magic dust flies everywhere. Alexann and Will bicker about who is going to help Nick.
2) Ralph and Wilbur are still in their beach wear…walk out the studio to the beach…
3) The North Pole has been moved to the beach. It is filled with activity…Nick and Helen…walk out of the studio…survey the new North Pole. Nick says…welcome home, Mrs. Claus.
4) Stuart sits in the fully loaded sleigh dress like Santa Claus. Nick and Helen shake their heads, no. Stuart says…”too soon”?
5) Magic dust swirls everywhere and the North Pole disappears behind the veil. Ralph says to Wilbur…”I think am gonna like this change. They bicker between them who will like living in a tropical paradise more.
6) Helen says…”we will…arthritis is just a creak away”
The End
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Testing Mary’s account.
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Cheryl – I still cannot copy and paste my work into the assignment forum. I let a message for Tech Support to call me; but so far nothing. I am really aggravated because I cannot participate.
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Are you on a Mac or PC?
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I hope this is the right spot for the Beat Sheet. This is first Act…two and three to follow.
*********Cheryl – I still cannot paste into the forum. I am working in Word. It worked before but with the new module 4…will not paste. I am more than exasperated.
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Oh fudge, Cheryl – nothing will work. Cannot paste into the forum. 😬. What should I do?
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Cheryl – I cannot get my post to copy into the forum.
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Re: the recording…
1) Hal’s info is always enlightening and gives an insight into how the business works. I always learn something I didn’t know or had not thought of in that particular way.
2) Friends go a long way in this business. Like almost everything else, it is who you know, not what you know. You have to be flexible to gain a producer’s trust, not be stuck with your own ideas and not be able to consider that it isn’t really your idea, it is their and you are just hired to put their ideas on paper.
3) I equate the mind set of paid writing assignments like I would a design project. When I am first hired to give a vision to a residence, I get to know the client very well by asking a lot of questions: but primarily, I listen. Then I put together colors, fabrics, styles, etc. and go back to them to see if I am on target. I give them a lot of options and again…I listen…only by listening can you truly understand what I client wants…and they may not know exactly what they want. If you listen and are patient…it all comes together.
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I really like your idea and think it has a lot of potential. Looking forward to seeing where your concept takes you. 🙂
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I am focusing on one script that I am currently rewriting in Writing Incredible Movies , page one rewrite.
Script: The Second Mrs. Claus – Rom-Com
Concept: An older woman, America’s most famous dessert chef, falls in love with a younger man after she rescues him from drowning only to discover that he is is really Santa Claus and wants her cookie expertise to return to his old self and save Christmas.
Budget: Not a clue, but if produced the way I see it, likely $50 million at least depending upon actors, location, special effects…and studio or streaming. 🤶🎅
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I Mary Lynn Mabray do hereby agree to all the guidelines outlined by ScreenwritersU regarding the class How To Get Writing Assignments. Please consider this my signed confidentially agreements. Mary Lynn Mabray – September 18, 2022 *Cheryl – I could not get the agreement to copy and paste, again. Please consider me a dingbat, today. 🙃
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Hello everyone…
I am Mary Lynn Mabray from Houston, Texas. Nice to be apart of this class. i graduated from the Professional Program in Screenwriting at UCLA. Have written nine scripts…many in various rewrites after graduating from ScreenwritersU.’s ProSeries. My working background is in Interior design. I have a degree in design, and am a professional member of ASID which is a credentialed national organization for those you who might not know, as well as a licensed interior designer in the state of Texas. I have one daughter who has her masters in acupuncture specializing in fertility, and is an equestrian, dressage, two very funny grandsons, two cats Jack Bauer and Kitty, an an English Shepherd, Reggie. I also write for a builders monthly magazine in Houston. I have too many quirky aspects of my personality to list…some days I wonder about myself…which is actually…every day…I just try to be happy because life is short. If you’ve every wondered if we are alone in this Universe, I can tell you, first hand, and quite emphatically, we are not. 👽😎
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Mary Lynn Mabray – Module 3 Lesson 5 – Audience Connection To Characters
Vision: To be an in-demand writer of high concept scripts
What I Learned: Likability can turn a dull paperdoll character into a piece of beautiful Origami.
Helen Hunt
Likability: the sweet way she loves her daughter and grandchildren, her instant laugh and fun with the reindeer, her joyful presentation with her studio audience and fans, her patience with Stuart.
Relatability: she has a wonderful infectious laugh that makes people laugh and instantly like her. Animals feel comfortable in her presence. She has great empathy when it comes to Stuart. She gets aggravated with him but knows he has her best interest at heart until he doesn’t. Her fans see her as their longtime friend.
Empathy: She understands Nick’s sadness Re: Mrs. Claus. She had loss, too.
Nick (Santa Claus)
Likability: Not sure how he will pull off appearing young, worried but so excited to be what he once was. He’s Santa Claus, what’s not to like?
Relatability: Nick can easily relate to children and adults and know their deepest fears, wants and dreams.
Empathy: Nick understands people of all races, creeds and backgrounds.
Stuart McCall
Likability: Muffy sees Stuart’s heart and knows that gold is in there, somewhere if he would just be the Stuart she fell in love with years ago. Alexann and Will love Stuart despite his many flaws. Helen knows Stuart has her best interest at heart and understands that his gruffness is is only to cover up a marshmallow heart.
Relatability – audience can relate when Stuart sees Rudolph for the first time and childhood joy begins to bubble at the surface. Realizing that Nick really is Santa Claus and now he can ask a question that has bothered him his entire life.
Empathy – audience will (hopefully) begin to understand that deep down, Stuart wants nothing more than to protect his family and Helen. He has their best interest at heart.
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Mary Lynn Mabray, WIM2 – Module 3 – Lesson 3 – Character Subtext
Vision – Become an in demand high concept writer
What I Learned: Subtext makes a script much more interesting, intriguing, fun, scary, thoughtful, sexy
Movie: Title: The Second Mrs. Claus
Character Name: Helen Hunt
Subtext Identity: Lonely since becoming a widow
Subtext Trait: Burns the candle at both ends, tries to be all things to all people
Subtext Logline: Helen Hunt is America’s sweetheart dessert chef who lives her life on camera and would love to have a happy and fulfilling life out of the limelight and behind the stage.
Possible Areas of Subtext: studio audience advice, conversations with Stuart, her daughter Muffy and grandchildren, Alexann and Will, conversations with herself, pursuit of Nick, relationship with Rudolph, reindeer, Ralph and Wilbur
Nick (Santa Claus)
Subtext Identity: World’s jolliest fellow but unhappy since losing his magic and afraid he will let down the world when there is no Christmas, surprised that he likes being hot, equally surprised that he is as interested in Helen as she is in him, worried about how he will tell Helen who he is and how old is he and that he needs her and her culinary expertise to find the secret of magic cookies.
Subtext Trait: unsure of the confidence that he once had and unsure how he will ever get it back.
Nick has to redefine who he really is, Santa Claus and the world’s jolliest elf or a hunk of burning love in love with an older woman. Does he stay, does he go, how does he convince Helen to return with him to the North Pole especially when she discovers his motive and who he really is…
Possible Areas of Subtext – conversations with Ralph and Wilbur, Rudolph, Helen, Stuart, Helen’s family and grandchildren, actions to discover the secret to the magic cookies. Conflicting actions of romancing or using Helen. I think there are a lot of subtext possibilities for Nick, most likely the most opportunities in the script.
Stuart McCall
Subtext Identity: Helen’s controlling manager and son-in-law who always treats her like she is a dollar sign.
Subtext Trait – control freak, unsure when he isn’t in control, loves his family but doesn’t know how to show it, grateful for Helen but never tells her he appreciates the opportunity to manage her career
Subtext Logline – Stuart McCall is manages the career of America’s Sweetheart Dessert Chef with an iron fist that is really made of cookie dough.
Possible Areas of Subtext – suspicious of Nick, doesn’t want the children to believe in Santa Claus because he doesn’t want them hurt, doesn’t want to lose Helen as his family’s meal ticket, always plotting the next deal, conversations with Rudolph, thinks he is going nutter butters when he discovers Nick is who he says he is, immediately sets up a studio to broadcast from the North Pole
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Mary Lynn Mabray, WIM2 – Module 3 – Lesson 3 – Character Subtext
Vision – Become an in demand high concept writer
What I Learned: Subtext makes a script much more interesting, intriguing, fun, scary, thoughtful, sexy
Movie: Title: The Second Mrs. Claus
Character Name: Helen Hunt
Subtext Identity: Lonely since becoming a widow
Subtext Trait: Burns the candle at both ends, tries to be all things to all people
Subtext Logline: Helen Hunt is America’s sweetheart dessert chef who lives her life on camera and would love to have a happy and fulfilling life out of the limelight and behind the stage.
Possible Areas of Subtext: studio audience advice, conversations with Stuart, her daughter Muffy and grandchildren, Alexann and Will, conversations with herself, pursuit of Nick, relationship with Rudolph, reindeer, Ralph and Wilbur
Nick (Santa Claus)
Subtext Identity: World’s jolliest fellow but unhappy since losing his magic and afraid he will let down the world when there is no Christmas, surprised that he likes being hot, equally surprised that he is as interested in Helen as she is in him, worried about how he will tell Helen who he is and how old is he and that he needs her and her culinary expertise to find the secret of magic cookies.
Subtext Trait: unsure of the confidence that he once had and unsure how he will ever get it back.
Nick has to redefine who he really is, Santa Claus and the world’s jolliest elf or a hunk of burning love in love with an older woman. Does he stay, does he go, how does he convince Helen to return with him to the North Pole especially when she discovers his motive and who he really is…
Possible Areas of Subtext – conversations with Ralph and Wilbur, Rudolph, Helen, Stuart, Helen’s family and grandchildren, actions to discover the secret to the magic cookies. Conflicting actions of romancing or using Helen. I think there are a lot of subtext possibilities for Nick, most likely the most opportunities in the script.
Stuart McCall
Subtext Identity: Helen’s controlling manager and son-in-law who always treats her like she is a dollar sign.
Subtext Trait – control freak, unsure when he isn’t in control, loves his family but doesn’t know how to show it, grateful for Helen but never tells her he appreciates the opportunity to manage her career
Subtext Logline – Stuart McCall is manages the career of America’s Sweetheart Dessert Chef with an iron fist that is really made of cookie dough.
Possible Areas of Subtext – suspicious of Nick, doesn’t want the children to believe in Santa Claus because he doesn’t want them hurt, doesn’t want to lose Helen as his family’s meal ticket, always plotting the next deal, conversations with Rudolph, thinks he is going nutter butters when he discovers Nick is who he says he is, immediately sets up a studio to broadcast from the North Pole
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Mary Lynn Mabray
WIM2 – Module 3 Lesson 2
Actor Attractors
Vision: In demand high concept creator and writer
What I Learned: Why actors are attracted to certain roles and how to create them.
Actor Attractors
1) What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?
Helen Hunt – American’s Most Beloved Dessert Chef
To show that women fifty and older are not dead as lead actresses and don’t have to be relegated to character parts. It’s an opportunity to portray a sexy older woman of fifty or older and play off a much younger actor who isn’t a son or a grandson or a young neighbor but her romantic match.
Nick (Santa Claus)
This character has to portray a young man in love with an older woman…on the outside but internally, he is hundreds of years old…so he looks young but thinks old and has to think young and look young all the while aging back to his old self.
Stuart McCall – Helen’s business manager and the man responsible for her success. He’s a marketing guru. This character is anal, coldhearted while all the while longing to be kind-hearted and well thought of instead of being considered an obsessive SOB. He wants his wife, children to love him as they do Helen.
2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in the story?
Helen Hunt
She hides her personal light under a bushel and only shows who she really is around her daughter and grandchildren. To the world she is America’s most beloved chef while she longs to go back in time when she was baking in her kitchen and having the neighbors over for dessert.
Nick (Santa Claus)
Santa Claus has not been portrayed on screen as young sexy guy…especially not one in love with an older woman.
Stuart McCall
Stuart is the kill joy…always practical, controlling
and always thinking of ways to make money off Helen’s career even though he is her son-in-law. He can’t seem to look at Helen as any other thing other than as a dollar sign.
3. What are the most interesting actions the lead could take in a script?
Helen Hunt
Think for herself and follow her heart.
Nick (Santa Claus)
Act young while thinking his age…hundreds of years old
Stuart McCall
Let his real emotions show.
4. How could you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
I have to think about this one…appeal to their adventuresome side. Take them back to that wondrous feeling of being a child and still believing in Santa Claus.
5. What could be this character’s emotional range?
Helen Hunt
From feeling that life is as good as it’s going to get to experiencing the miraculous.
Nick (Santa Claus)
From knowing that everything he believed was real to discovering that it was not, to feeling ill at ease with himself to being confident and in love for the first time.
Stuart McCall
From one track thinking, time is money and more money is better and Christmas is just a marketing ploy to experiencing the miracle of Christmas and belief that Santa Claus does exist.
6. What subtext can the actor play?
Helen Hunt – realizing that she isn’t close to being dead, realizing that love with a much younger man isn’t such a bad thing after all, subtle flirting that leads to a real romance.
Nick (Santa Claus) – he is much older than he looks, astonished that he is seriously attracted to Helen, can Santa Claus actually get away with falling in love, will he forever ruin his image and Christmas
Stuart McCall – disbelief that he has actual feelings, realizing that money and fame is not what is important in life, acting like a kid again.
7) What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?
Helen Hunt
Connecting with her fans. Letting her hair down with her family. Friendship with Nick’s Chief Elves, Ralph and Wilbur, loving and being amazed by the reindeer.
Nick (Santa Claus)
Believers all over the world, ultimate trust in Rudolph, Ralph and Wilbur, convincing Stuart that he has good intentions, and then convincing him to believe in Santa once again.
Stuart McCall
His evolving relationship with Muffy, Alexann and Will, letting Helen go.
8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?
The three characters…wardrobe, dialogue that fits each character’s personality, feeling their true selves at long last, the imagination come to life. I still have to think about this one.
9. What could make this character special and unique.
Helen Hunt
Being the celebrity chef that everyone loves. Loving and fun relationship with Muffy, Alexann and Will, becoming a woman to love for Nick.
Nick (Santa Claus)
Going from sheer panic of a disastrous situation to realizing it is the best thing that ever happened to him. Renewing his own belief in the joy of Christmas by showing Helen his world.
Stuart McCall
Showing his warm and cuddly side. Showing his family that he finally understands their value.
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Mary Lynn Mabray – WIM2-Module 3 Lesson 1 – Actor Attractors
Vision: In Demand High Concept Writer
What I Learned: I learned to think beyond the concept to the heart of the movie which is the characters. I learned what makes actors accept roles, what attracts them to a part. I had never really thought about these factors before.
Sample Movie: Something’s Got To Give – Rom-Com Diane Keaton, Jack Nickolson, Keau Reeves
Actor Attractors
1. Lead character – Diane Keaton – this role speaks to at least 40% of the women in America. It illustrates a talented and successful woman standing on her own two feet. She is a playwrite. She is strong yet unknowingly vulnerable. She thinks needing a man, being sexual … that part of her life ended with her divorce. She has accepted that she will be alone the rest of her life which gives her more time for writing. This role is also shared with sexy Keau Reeves and legendary playboy, Jack Nickolson. What’s not to like working with those two men.
2. Keaton’s character continually surprises herself, emotionally. It is a very funny but emotional role.
3. She reluctantly pursues Nickolson, flirts with him. There is an obvious attraction. When that attraction is clear to her, she wholeheartedly pursues him and falls in love with him very quickly only to have her heart broken when he walks away days later. The character of Keau Reeves pursues Erica. He knows her work, finds her funny and brilliant and wants her. At first she is very reluctant. He’s twenty years younger. Audrey Hepburn was 20 years older than her husband. It is a delightful and fun May December romance. Personally, I would have stayed with Keau’s character. Nickolson’s character, though redeemed by taking a close look at his life and transgressions, would not be trustworthy in my book. He walked away once, He will likely do it again. Though the writer, Nancy Meyer ends the movie, happily ever after…in real life, that doesn’t always happen.
4) She is introduced by accusing the Nickolson character, Harry…as a burglar and calls the police. Constant conflict. There is a chance to show that side of her acting ability and then also a more lovable side. Again, emotional chops which continue throughout the movie.
5) Emotional range…Diane Keaton has the acting skills to go from one to ten in a heartbeat. Nancy Meyer writes Erica to be fiery, flirty and vulnerable all at the same time. There is tremendous subtext in her character.
6) The character Erica is all about subtext. There are few scenes that are straightforward…that do not have subtext. Her character has a lot of hope but it is hidden hope because she believes that part of her life…being happy with a man, is over…but she still hopes she is wrong.
7) Erica’s relationship with Harry is one of comfort. Comfort of age group and the things that happen as one ages. They laugh a lot about those happenings which are good and bad. She is comfortable with Harry’s flirty and sexy ways and throws it right back to him in spades. She is honest about her deep feelings for and with Harry, and then when he leaves her both emotionally and physically, she feels betrayed by him, so she writes about the relationship and kills him off in the play…it gets a huge laugh. It is revenge of the highest order…there is no gory blood, no police, no prison…only laughter and freedom. She is done with him. Erica’s relationship with Julian is sweet and kind because Julian is sweet and kind. Despite the age difference, they are perfect for each other. He brings out the best in her. I wish she would have stayed with him…but she followed her heart…which was with Harry. It is well done, though and the audience is happy for both characters but heartbroken for Julian.
8. I don’t know that Erica’s voice is unique…it is the story of so many American women. That is why she is so relatable. The audience is immediately drawn into her story because she is authentic.
9) Diane Keaton makes this character special and unique. I don’t think another actress could have played Erica. That part was written for her. We get to see a side of life that most Americans don’t have…a stunning Hampton’s beach house, which belonged to Nancy Meyer and was designed and decorated by her. It is fabulous and expensive. The interiors of the house mirror the emotional interior of the character…beautiful, strong and artsy.
10) There is a beach montage where Erica and Harry are getting to know one another, they flirt, they castigate each other but they are clearly attracted to one another. Harry can’t believe it because he’s only been attracted to younger women and Erica can’t believe she is falling for a cad like Harry. Harry asks Erica why she only picks up white rocks and she tells him because they are beautiful and perfect. He picks up a black rock and hands it to her and tells her it something to remember him by. They rocks are a symbol of their attraction and love throughout. This montage is just nearly perfect. The audience experiences falling in love just like the characters. I loved this scene…it led into the actual act of making love, being vulernable with another human being. Just perfect…this entire segment.
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Mary Lynn Mabray
WIM#2 – Module – 2 Lesson 5 – Four Act Transformational Structure
Vision: To write high concept scripts that are in demand
What I Learned: That remains to be seen. *so far so good. I am used to writing in three act structure with eight turning points. I must admit these guidelines are very helpful.
CONCEPT: A secretly lonely but famous widow meets a much younger man while on vacation and falls in love with him only to discover that he is Santa Claus and needs her and her cooking skills to regain his magic.
Main Conflict – Helen is conflicted about her relationship with Nick. Nick needs Helen’s cookies to transform him from a hunk of burning love back to jolly old Santa Claus with only seven days left until Christmas could disappear forever.
Old Ways: takes her fame in stride but is tired of the constant circus around her. Longs to put her grandchildren and daughter first, does what her manager (son-in-law) tells her is in her best interest.
New Ways: takes action, is not compliant, knows what she wants and knows her future is with Nick
Act One: Helen leaves studio with manager to go on much needed vacation with family – Stuart continues to make deals and obligate Helen to more career building obligations even though she does not need the work. Stuart can’t help himself.
Nick is the toy shop inspecting the latest toys. Ralph and Pierre argue of course. Rudolph stumbles into North Pole kitchen to steal a magic cookie from Mrs. Claus.
Inciting Incident:
Helen is mobbed by fans upon arrival at the hotel and discovers Stuart has put together a special cooking class with Helen without her permission. The grandchildren and Muffy, Helen’s daughter are angry about the working family vacation.
Rudolph runs into Mrs. Claus, accidentally and she suddenly starts to spin in circles all through the North Pole. She explodes in front of Nick. Magic dust goes everywhere. Nick is catapulted back in time and emerges a Hunk of burning love. He is deep in depression because Mrs. Claus is a robot and he had no idea…and has lost his magic. Ralph and Wilbur decide he needs something to make him happy. A vacation in the Caribbean.
Act 2: Helen unwinds at beach. Nick parasails. Parasail fails. Nick slams into the ocean. Knocks him out. Helen rescues him from drowning. Gives mouth to mouth that becomes something more.
Plan In Action : Nick is surprised. Wilbur and Ralph think Helen might be the answer to their problem. Helen is shocked at herself. What was that kiss all about? Helen tries to find Nick to apologize to no avail. Nick laments that he feels like he is cheating on Mrs. Claus. Wilbur reminds him, “she was a robot created to keep you company”. Nick agrees to go to Helen’s cookie class. Ralph and Wilbur Convinced she can make magic cookies because there is a sparkle around her..
Act 3: Nick also watches Helen from a distance. Follows her every gesture every move. He’s smitten. Nick invites Helen to dinner. It’s a romantic restaurant at the beach. Helen is surprised but also cautiously pleased. The family follows. Everyone is excited that Helen is having fun except Stuart. Alexann thinks she has seen reindeer and Santa Claus must be nearby. Will wants to check it out. Stuart tells them, there is no Santa Claus and to stop being so silly. Muffy argues with Stuart to let them be kids and believe in magic.
Helen and Nick talk about their past, Christmas. Helen mentions in passing that her grandchildren believe in Santa Claus but their father discourages their silliness. Nick asks Helen if she believes. She does…but there’s all that snow. Nick says it doesn’t have to be. Helen agrees and kisses Nick under the mistletoe. Magic dust surges from the mistletoe and falls all over Nick and Helen. Rudolph appears and bathes in the magic dust. His antlers and red nose appear. Helen thinks she is seeing things. Nick tells her Rudolph is his great dane and likes to dress in costumes. Ralph and Wilbur are shocked.
New Plan:
Ralph and Wilbur remind Nick that he has to get closer to Helen and discover her secret to creating magic dust. He vows he will find the secret because there are only seven days until Christmas. He has to get her to teach him to make cookies.
Helen and Nick find they have fun together. Have a lot in common despite their age difference. Nick teaches Helen to overcome her fears and go sky diving. The family nearly has a fit. Stuart is beside himself. Muffy accuses Stuart of only thinking of Helen as a meal ticket. Stuart thinks twice. Maybe he does. Rudolph jumps out of the tropical greenery, and stares at Stuart, ask him “how’s it hanging? Stuart faints. Rudolph disappears in spurts. The magic dust is wearing off and they need a solution.
The more Nick is around Helen, the more he falls for her, and the more subtle differences appear, gray hair, white whiskers. Helen thinks she is seeing things when gray hair appears and disappears, when Ralph and Wilbur appear in their elf costumes, she knows she is seeing things. But she likes Nick too much to care. They dance the night away. Snow falls. She is really seeing things now.
Helen agrees to give Nick a private cookie making lesson. They have fun…Nicks ask too many questions, all the while changing appearances. Helen becomes suspicious. Nick is disappointed when there is no magic dust from eating cookie after cookie. Helen demands to know what the heck is going on. Nick finally confesses that he is Santa Claus and needs her cookies to regain his magic. Helen is furious. Tells Nick she never wants to see him again. Helen rushes away, passes under the mistletoe. Nick catches her, kisses her and magic dust flies everywhere. Nick begs Helen to marry him. Helen slaps him and calls him a fraud.
Will and Alexann go on a quest to find the reindeer. They find the hiding spot and the eight reindeer and have a conversation with them. Rudolph explains what is going on. Ralph and Wilbur tells them the clock is ticking. They must find the secret to Helen’s magic cookies or Christmas will be lost forever.
Act 4:
Alexann and Will confide in Muffy. Muffy reminds them there is no secret. Helen cooks and makes desserts because she loves cooking. Love might be the answer. Stuart is still recovering from his encounter with Rudolph when Will and Alexann tell him the whole story and that Nick needs Helen to be the second Mrs. Claus to save Christmas. Stuart faints at the prospect of losing Helen’s television show.
Alexann and Will tell Helen about the reindeer and the deadline with Christmas. Helen searches for Nick and find him surrounded by fat reindeer and cookies. Nick and Helen make up. Dinner, again. They walk under mistletoe and magic dust flies everywhere.
Nick and Helen are back at the North Pole. Hustle and bustle everywhere. Helen makes cookies. Mistletoe hangs from everywhere. Kisses all around. Helen tells Nick he seriously needs to be on his way. Wilbur and Ralph stock the sleigh. Helen kisses Nick goodbye, hands him a box of cookies. Magic dust glistens. Lift off…reindeer lead by Rudolph fly past the moon.
Helen waits at the beach restaurant. There’s a flash of light. Nick appears. He’s back to his hot self only Helen’s age. Nick says he seriously needs to think about relocating. Helen tells him she can make that happen. Kisses him and magic dust flies everywhere.
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Subtext – What Lies Beneath – Lesson 4
Vision – To become a sought after writer that creates high concept ideas and scripts
What I Learned From This Assignment – I can see two subtext plots fitting my story and characters. Superior Position and Fish Out Of Water
A lonely widow who is a famous chef meets a much younger man and falls in love with him only to discover that he is Santa Claus and needs her to regain his magic and save Christmas.
Helen’s long awaited family bonding time is suddenly turned into a working vacation when her manager sets up a holiday cookie contest without her knowledge. After seeing the mutual attraction between Nick and Helen, Nick’s elves convince him that Helen and her cookies are the answer to saving Christmas.
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CHERYL – I CANNOT COPY AND PASTE FROM WORD INTO THE FORUM. MUST RETYPE EVERYTHING. UGH.
Mary Lynn Mabray – WIM2 – Lesson 2 – Transformational Journey
Vision: To become a sought-after writer for high concept -movies
What Did I Learn: Every story and every character have a beginning and an end that changes their lives in a profound way.
Protagonist: Helen Harper – famous chef specializing in desserts
Arc – Beginning – Burned out for television show – Looking forward to family time – though she still feels out place without her husband even with her family – doesn’t want t see or create a recipe of any kind.
Arc- Ending – Discovered the secret to the Christmas cookie recipe for the North Pole that makes the reindeer fly and gives Santa his magic.
Internal Journey – from, tired, irritable, lonely and compliant
External Journey – to energized, happy and sure of her future.
Old Ways – agreeable, feels life is passing her by and she will never be happy again but accept her fate if her television show makes her son-in-law happy.
New Ways: takes action on her own, listens to her heart, knows despite the age difference that her future is with Nick.
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I forgot to mention what makes my character’s unique. The title is the Second Mrs. Claus
Helen: Helen believes in the power of the magic of Christmas and tries to teach her grandchildren to believe in Santa Claus.
Stuart: Stuart hates Christmas, Doesn’t believe it is worth a holiday and certainly doesn’t believe in Santa Claus.
Nick – Nick is Santa Claus and doesn’t believe he will ever regain his magic and the joy of Christmas will be lost forever.
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Mary Lynn Mabray
Module#2 Assignment#2 Intentional Lead Characters
Vision: Be a sought after high concept writer
What I learned: to rethink my story as it relates to character.
Helen is a famous chef who is also a lonely widow and is questioning if life has passed her by due to her fame.
Stuart is Helen’s workaholic manager and son-in-law who lets nothing interfere with Helen’s celebrity not even family.
Nick is trying to figure out how to restore his magic when he meets Helen and her cookies begin to change him and help the reindeer to fly again.
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I learned a sue fire way to think about inspiration and empowerment to be able to write at any time of the day or not with complete confidence.
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Hi People…
I am Mary Lynn Mabray – Houstonian. I’ve written nine scripts. Some good some not so good but the central concept is there. I graduates from the Professional Screenwriting Program at UCLA. I guess the most unique thing about me is that I am multi-talented. I am a professional Interior Designer licensed and credentialed ASID member. I was also a voice major in college. I can grow and cook anything…except liver…cook that is. I am an avid gardner and also create gardens for clients. I have one stunning daughter who is an equestrian and acupuncturist. I sm also the proud Mimi to Reagan’s two boys, Asher 9 and hell on wheels, Jaxon, 4. Animal lover and advocate to save the gray wolf from extinction. I iwned a gray wolf, My Bob…for eight years. They are brilliant strategists, loyal, loving and funny. They deserve to live to keep our ecosystem firmly in place.
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Thank you, Lisa…this is a totally new board for me and it is confusing. For instance, my Module Four is not showing up on the board at all…so I would not have even known we were in Module 4 had I not received the email today. I appreciate your posting this info. I would not have known had you not mentioned it. I did click the three dots but do not see a way to get to Module 4…so I am still not sure where to post the first lesson. I still have to complete supporting characters. I have just had too much on my plate. trying to catch up. Thank you, again. 😎
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Joel – FBI investigates Federal US crimes.
Military Police, investigate crimes committed within the military. There are four – Army, Navy, Marines and Air Force. Each branch has its’ own investigators. The investigation always starts there, particularly for war crimes…unless someone reports it to the FBI…then the FBI would have the obligation to report to the specific branch of the military and it could be a joint task force; but generally, as I understand it, these investigations begin within whatever branch of the military the person belonged longed to…These rules are very specific. If you are going to write a script like this, research all these rules because a production company will require it as will a manager or agency that might want to represent you. Go to: My Lai Massacre…Vietnam. That is a famous war crime investigation and prosecution within the Army. The details of how it is all done will help you construct this script. I hope this helps. it is not meant to be critical…only to inform and help you make your script more believable.
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Nice to meet you Jean…look forward to getting to know you better. 😎
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How fun…your day job. i have always been intrigued by the spiritual arts. Looking forward to getting to know you better.
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Karen – Hi…please consider this as info only, not criticism. Gary wolves do not live in Africa. African wolves do: but they are not related to gray wolves. They look much different. They are smaller, longer, thinner mussels and sharper yet smaller teeth. Most are grayish red. Gray wolves are much larger, bigger feet, long noses. To take down a lion, it would take a large pack of wolves. A lion would kill a wolf in heartbeat. African wolves are no match for lions. I have seen a pack of hyenas take down a lion and it is a horrific sight to see. I owned a gray wolf for eight years. He was five when he came to me. I thought he was a malamute until I took him to the vet and Dr. Smith took three steps backwards and said, “Mary Lynn, what the hell are are you doing with a wolf”… I said, “what wolf?” He said, “the one at the end of your leash”. Sure enough. Bob was the most wonderful critter I have ever had. Loyal, loving, just a big baby…afraid of thunder…though he would have likely messed someone up pretty good if they had tried to hurt me or his pack of three other dogs and five cats. His best friend was a stray cat. They actually died within one week of each other. My point, I am an advocate for gray wolves. if you need info…just ask and I will try to help. I am interested in your story…I just hate to see a wolf be the bad guy…they only kill to eat…not indiscriminately. By nature, they are loners and stay away from people. it is a marvel to watch them hunt. (though that makes me nauseous as can be…hate it …but they have to eat. They have a hierarchy even when traveling through the forests. There is a very interesting photo of large wolf pack on the move. You might try to look it up if you are interested. Not sure if it was Yellowstone, Montana, Wyoming or Alaska. it is a huge pack, though. Right now, wolves in the above states are in the fight of their lives. Wolves have been removed from the endangered species list and are the top target of the ranchers…sheep farmers…along with the Mustangs. They are having these huge hunts and it is their intent to kill all but 10% of each states population. Doesn’t matter what environmentalist, scientists tell these people about how necessary wolves are to the environments…they have an agenda and it doesn’t include saving the wolves or the mustangs.I have gone on too long…I am really interested to see where you take your story. 🙂
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I think this is going to be a terrific script. I am interested to see where you take this story and these characters. I quite like them. 😀
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Well done. The Proposal is one of my favorite movies. I have watched it so many times, it’s ridiculous…but I think this speaks to just how wonderful it is…how much fun it is to watch. anything with Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds is terrific. They have amazing range as actors. Ryan has become quite the action star. Your assessment was fun to read.
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I found your critique of Gray Man interesting. I hadn’t considered the “sameness” as in other action films. You do have a point. From my pov, I think a certain “sameness” is what makes action movies successful. It is the twists and turns that make them unique and the way the character responds. I quite like Gray Man. The Evans character was a bit of a cliche. I agree with you. Gosling’s character was a surprise to me…not the character itself but how Ryan chose to portray him. My sister knows the aunt of the young girl, Julia Butter. They are speech pathologists together. We do keep up to date with her career. She is soaring right now. She is very sweet young girl in person. I liked her character. I liked the interaction between she and Ryan. They played well off each other. At any rate, I just wanted to say I liked your assessment. It gave me something to consider about action films.
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This sounds very intriguing. I just watched WW2 movie on Netflix about the woman who started the French Underground. It is nicely done.
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Hi Dana – I like this story/concept/character. Interested to see where you take it.
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I Mary Lynn Mabray agree to the terms set forth in the agreement as requested and required.